#too young song analysis

[twopoppies]

A Larry moment I don’t think was mentioned and I know people say don’t look at lyrics but then you have Louis, himself, saying “too Young” is about meeting the love of your life, the “one” at 18 and not being prepared for it.

He met Eleanor when he was almost 20 but he did meet Harry when he was 18. As forgetful as he says he is (I don’t think he is) you’d remember how old you’d were when you met the “one”

May not be a big thing or even a thing, but it is interesting seeing as Louis said it, on film, during an interview.

Oh, 100% That album had so many songs about their relationship. Anyone who believed it was actually about Eleanor didn’t care about facts.

[omarcitoloves]

simon's arc and growth in s3 was one of my favorite storylines and is one of the main reasons i like s3 so much.

in s1 we got to see the foundations of such a beautiful complex character - a boy who loves his family and those who have earned their way into his heart almost more than himself, loyal to a fault, vibrant and not afraid to make himself more of an outsider by standing by his ethos and personality.

and simon being his truest self taught the 2 most important ppl in his life their key lessons. sara now understands the gift of giving ppl second chances and wanting to hope they wont always fuck it all up. and wille learned everything from simon. how to love unashamedly. how to believe in yourself. how to look outside of yourself. how to speak your mind. how to forgive. how to live freely

idk i think there is something so missing in ppl who cant understand his character in s3 and maybe its a lack of life experience but knowing when you need to remove yourself from a situation that is destroying you and the ppl you love is important and real. he made himself so small to try and fit for willes life and that hurt them both, wille needed shining simon as much as simon did.

love is not always enough and simon was brave for recognizing that. for continuing to stand by issues and ideals that were deeply important to him. to recognize when his own actions were causing ppl harm. to continue to forgive and give ppl more chances despite being hurt but also knowing when he needs to put himself first

on my first watch of s3ep6 it something i couldnt stop thinking abt and i stand by it on a few rewatches, for someone so integral to everyone's personal growth bc he was that catalyst or lesson for them, he felt a bit forgotten. and i get there was a lot of loose ends to be tied up but im ngl he felt a little rushed/in limbo bc of it but i still think he had a full beautiful arc in s3. and the way ppl still damn him for every move makes me wish he had even more time to develop throughout esp s2 i wish everyone could see just how beautiful and complex simon is and how he is the base of everyone around him

[vxsellie]

okay so i talk abt loving hozier all the time but i never rlly delve into how fucking significant his music is. and i think, in light of the recent election, it’s time to do so

so here’s my analysis on hozier’s song “swan upon leda”

(ignore if some things are worded weirdly, this was initially written for my sister & my sister only. so it might seem like i’m talking to u as a friend, that’s why!) also if there are any inaccuracies in the myths' interpretations, PLEASE lmk!

anyway here it is!!!

So, before we get into the lyrics themselves let’s take a little peeksie at the song’s background!

Not only is this one of his most political works, but it was also published three years after he literally ghosted the world. And that only makes its debut so much more significant seeing as he’d taken the time to make sure he’d have everyone’s attention when releasing it.

Also, the title is so so so fucking important to take into account when studying this piece of fucking ART. It’s based off of the Greek myth ‘Leda and the Swan’. In this tale, Zeus is heavily attracted to a woman named Leda and transforms her into a swan before raping and impregnating her.

In turn, Hozier connects this story (and also the overarching theme of Zeus being the most powerful god despite being a rapist and child predator COUGHTRUMPCOUGH) to the way women are denied their reproductive rights & how these horrid occurrences effect all of those involved, not just the woman who bears the burden.

A husband waits outside A crying child pushes a child Into the night She was told he would come this time

He paints a picture here, putting an unnamed protagonist into a modern-day tale of patriarchally inflicted torment. The waiting husband symbolizes Zeus in the ancient context as well as an unnamed rapist in modern context. He waits and waits, never acting. He stands outside, so very close to where the problem lies and yet does nothing.

The crying child is inspired by Leda & made into the song’s protagonist, depicted as underage and therefore not able to give her full consent to this outcome. The child she pushes is the one that had been forced upon her, it going into the night symbolizing an untold future. Something she hadn’t asked for and yet is thrusted into doing. Her fear means nothing to the waiting husband & means even less to society as a whole. So, she does it scared. She does it with tears streaming down her face because deep, deep down she knows she has nobody to aid her in this despite having been promised to have help; having been promised that he would come this time.

Without leaving so much as a feather behind To enact, at last, the perfect plan

This illustrates the parallelism of Leda having been turned to a swan and the unnamed child having been forced into the life of a mother. Not leaving a feather behind, to Leda, represents the lack of proof she’d had to Zeus’s cruelty. He’d simply found her, transformed her, impregnated, transformed her back, and left. Now, had a feather been left, she’d have had proof. She’d have been believed. But that kind of miracle never happens for rape victims, now does it? No, instead she was forced to carry a ton more children by a husband that didn’t believe that she’d been raped by Zeus. This, in many ways, connects to real day occurrences that I don’t believe I need to digress on each individually. Though, I happily would if it proves my point mores.

The perfect plan he speaks of is the men getting away with it. In every tale, in every real-time situation, the men get away. They get what they want from the woman, leave her (and their newly formed fetus) to rot, and leave to return to their wives. The perfect plan, is it not?

The gateway to the world Was still outside of reach of him Would never belong to angels, Had never belonged to men.

This. This is why I love Andrew Hozier-Byrne, ladies and gentlemen.

As he speaks of a “gateway to the world”, he’s referring to childbirth. To bring a child into the world is a gateway, correct? It’s a bit of inexplicable divinity, pregnancy. To create an entire being with naught but your own bodily organs and cells? Those of which had been made by a woman before you? Yeah, it’s pretty fucking insane to me. Anyway.

Okay back on topic. The point is, this amazing occurrence he discusses is said to still out of reach to “him”. This unnamed male figure can be both Zeus in the myth or the husband in the modern altercation. This means that, despite them having forced themselves upon these beautiful souls, they haven’t a say in gateway. They don’t have a single fucking important role to play in the birth itself. They’re just the sperm.

And then Hozier goes even further. Not only does he say that the rapists are unfit for the sanctitude of childbirth, but heaven itself is unfit. The angels up above. Zeus. God. Whatever religious aspect you want to praise; it doesn’t hold a candle to the divinity that is a woman. As are the men. All men. Mankind itself, if you will. Regardless of your role or title or holiness, you’re all fucking useless when it comes to the sacred act of conceiving, creating, then bearing another human.

After the first chorus, the image alters to another scenario:

A grandmother smuggling meds Past where the god-child soldier, Setanta, stood dead Our graceful turner of heads Weaves through the checkpoints like a needle and thread

This shows a grandmother stealing medicine for an abortion, likely for a daughter or granddaughter. This shows the generational struggle to make the right choice. As it feels both revolutionary and also something she’d been doing her whole life. Fighting for rights.

Now, Setanta, as referred to in the song, is based off of an Irish myth. In this myth, Setanta is the name of a child who had killed Culann’s guard dog in self-defense and therefore felt guilty. In a fit of grief for the life he’d stolen, Setanta offered to take its place and thereby became known as the “Hound of Culann”. His story is actually really interesting to read about, but I won’t go into too much detail on every depicted myth. As Hozier refers to the checkpoint soldiers as Setanta, he claims they’d “stood dead” at their watch — which goes to show that these soldiers are young (as Setanta had been) and he therefore protests against the way they’re surrendering their full lives to this ruined system of oppression that they enforce.

Someone’s frightened boy waves her on She offers a mother’s smile, and soon she’s gone. The gateway to the world The gun in a trembling hand

This right here is absolutely fucking amazing. Hozier connects both oppressor and oppressed, humanizing the grandmother to be retrieving meds for an unplanned pregnancy & also personifying the young boy as someone’s child who needed something so simple as a mother’s kindness to keep him going.

The way he does this goes to show what a talented person he is. Being able to make your audience sympathize with both the boy and the grandma is fucking magic. Rather than making the soldiers wholly evil and merciless, he made them children. The same children the lady is trying to prevent bringing into this world.

When nature unmakes the boundary The pillar of myth still stands The swan upon Leda Occupier upon ancient land

While the first chorus is a reminder of childbirth’s right to be protected and not put in the hands of religion or men, the second chorus ties it all together by showing the repetition in history and how it’s bound to repeat itself so long as man remains lustful for power. This shows that greed and brutality is an undeniable way to keep this horrid pattern living on. He laments that nature did not intend to have one rule over another (men over women; society over youth). And yet, somehow, it’ll forever remain unavoidable.

The pillar of myth still stands. That crumbling foundation it had been built o remains, standing tall as more and more men come to repeat it. And, in all honesty, I doubt it’ll ever end. The child will continue to push the child. The husband will continue to wait. The grandmother will continue to smuggle her rights. The boy will continue to tremble. And mother nature will continue to watch with a frown on her face as mankind sets more pillars atop her divinity.

All in all, Hozier is awesome sauce!!!

[the-words-we-sung]

The songs of Young Royals - S2 E1

Here we go for season 2!! More songs so hopefully even more interesting stuff to analyze ^^

Brainfreeze, XVOTO

When I die ... All the voices in my head Tell them how it went and tell them not to miss me much ... Live forever ... Is it God that you see?

The song starts when Wilhelm is in Erik's room, while he burns the picture of his brother and August. It's fitting that the lyrics are partly about death, about telling people not to miss the dead person. Wilhelm misses Erik so much though. This is a good choice for a season that is going to be a lot about grieving. And the "Is it God that you see?" when we get to August sending messages to Wilhelm asking him to forgive him: yeah, will there be a redemption for you?

Aldrig igen, Omar Rudberg (Cherrie & Stormzy)

Being alone, I'm the strongest It's never happening again ... Because I don't wanna feel like this I don't wanna feel like this I don't wanna feel like this Who would wanna feel like this ... It won't happen again

So I discovered during this analysis that it is not a little snippet of a song that Simon created but the cover of an actual Swedish song ^^ He sings it while Marcus is listening in his back. The song reflects completely what Simon is feeling: the break up happened just before the Christmas break, so not that long ago, and he's still feeling so heartbroken. But he doesn't want to keep feeling that way, he doesn't want this painful situation to happen again (seems fateful that it is when Marcus enters the picture: Simon says it there, he will not fall in love and get his heart broken again, so too bad for you Marcus, but you will not get a love story here! Simon will say it himself later on in the season "why can't I fall in love with him?"). The entire song is actually super interesting lyrics-wise because it's about getting over a break up, feeling betrayed by someone who lied, and deciding that you actually deserve better. "Please stop stressing me, I need to breathe... First you wanna leave, now you wanna stay?": it's really about an ex who doesn't know what he wants and keeps changing his mind, changing the rules. Which is what Wilhelm is kinda doing (saying it's not him in the video to the world but then coming to Simon to ask to keep things going, and the the whole beginning of this season where he's gonna try to get Simon's back even though his situation hasn't changed). So yeah these 2 first songs of the season are really fitting to both characters and a very good idea of what the season is gonna be about : angry and grieving Wilhelm vs heartbroken, betrayed (but trying to find his boundaries) Simon

Bang, Cat Clark & Mega

We ain't never stepping down ... I'ma run laps round all you rats

Pretty fitting for Sara finally entering the privileged life of Hillerska. With all these students from rich family who will never "step down", who will keep the status quo, keep looking down on people who are not from their world.

Ripe, Flavia

No need to go to work unless I'm working on your body Hold you up, lay you down, staying up 'til the morning Working hard in the sheets, we could stay here for a week No need to go to work 'less I'm working on your body

A song with very suggestive lyrics, which less very little to the imagination about what the students are gonna get up to at this party ^^' "Ripe for the picking even when I'm not in season": can we also talk about Sara getting her initiation and being thrown into this classist privileged Hillerska life while still being an outsider? There lyrics feel like some kind of metaphor for her wanting so badly to be integrated, to feel ready for that. Or to think she's ready for that, while the reality might not be the same.

Love isn't love, Carola

Stranger, you came into my life Touched me with sweet sensation ... And stranger, you cut me like a knife ... It isn't right It isn't real at all It's just illusion A dream that will tumble and fall

The infamous karaoke "date". I like that the first sentences are sung by Marcus, because yes he got immediately interested in Simon after meeting him. But then he passes the mic to Simon who has to sing "cut me like a knife" and, he doesn't know it yet, but Marcus is quite toxic in the end. He is not gonna treat him well at all, not gonna respect him and his boundaries. Their "relationship" is not gonna help him or heal him at all, it's just gonna hurt him. And we cannot ignore the very (NOT) subtle lyrics when Wilhelm watches the Insta story of them singing: "it's not real". Because it's not. It's not a date. It's not love. It's nothing. And yeah, he's gonna be under the "illusion" of them being together and happy, but it's nothing more than that, an illusion. (And special mention to Wilhelm going feral and threatening the whole monarchy because his ex-boyfriend is on a date: Wilhelm baby, I love you so much!)

Seize the power, Yonaka

Woke up this morning I feel so fucking important I look in the mirror I'm different I finally made a decision ... They hurt you and make you feel helpless They're not brave like you They're too scared to do Anything that's different Anything that's new I don't need lessons I do what I want it's refreshing ... Hey there how you've been? I'm the voice in your head And I know you've been aching When you find me let me in I got power in my hands and it's yours for the taking

So this song is for the end credits of the episode but it's an amazing one and so important! We just saw Wilhelm yell at his mother and threaten the Courts because he doesn't want to be Crown Prince, doesn't want the responsibilities, doesn't want to be a puppet to them, doesn't want to sacrifice Simon and their relationship. And the first lyrics feel fitting: he's mad (and the lights in this bedroom are red and twisty: what better image to represent the rage coiling inside of him at this moment?), he "woke up" after being faced with the reality of the consequences of his lying about the sex tape. With the reality that Simon is on a date with someone else. And gosh yeah, these people, your own mother, they hurt you so badly and made you feel helpless. Making you follow their orders with not agency of your own. But you're gonna be so brave, and different, and strong! I love the chorus "I'm the voice in your head" because he's angry and screaming and threatening but nothing is very effective in the end (we'll see that next episode). He doesn't seem to have power yet. But if he listens to the little voice inside, if he takes the time to do that (and he will! Thanks to Boris for helping him doing some introspection and realizing things), he will realize that the power is here, deep inside him. That the strenght to do what's right for him, for Simon, well he has it. He just needs to close his eyes, reach inside and "take it"

The songs of Young Royals - part 1 The songs of Young Royals - part 2 The songs of Young Royals - part 3 The songs of Young Royals - part 4

[thebestandworstdayofjune]

desperate people find faith

summary: your first mission ends with you in Jean's lab and a very worried Logan who's had trouble leaving your side wc: 2.0k a/n: thank you thank you so much for all of your very positive feedback on the previous fics with these two!!! I am really looking forward to writing more for them, so please feel free to send any requests for them my way, or Logan requests in general! And yes, the title is from a Taylor Swift song again. Lots of hurt/comfort in this one, talks of mushy gushy feelings, very worried Logan find the previous part here! all empath!reader fics here!

You took the cold table underneath you as a sign that something had gone wrong. You peaked one eye open before quickly squeezing it closed, the bright florescent lights too much to handle. You took a beat, trying to make sense of your surroundings. 

You remembered the jet landing in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, you and Jean searching an abandoned building looking for the young mutant that Charles had promised would be there and coming up empty. The two of you had made your way back to the jet and.. shit. The kid had freaked, and you distinctly remember taking enough damage to warrant a swift retreat back to the school. You must be downstairs, in Jean’s lab. It’s probably a bad sign that the first thing you worry about how much shit Logan is going to give you for this. 

You reached out with your power, too cautious of the lights (and the judgment of the rest of the team) to look with your eyes. A few people were mildly worried just across the room, but it was hard not to be distracted by the huge amounts of anger and exhaustion on your left. You debated facing him head on, being a grown up about it and fessing up to the fact that you were wrong. Thankfully, you could be immature when the situation called for it. You attempted to even out your breathing and smooth out the crease between your eyebrows, anything that could give you away. 

“Sweetheart?” Logan’s voice is so much softer than you were expecting, based on the waves of pure fury currently radiating off of him. 

You shush him, blinking one eye open. “I’m sleeping.” You whisper, letting your eye fall shut again. 

You felt his hand gently brush over the top of your head. His voice is closer, air tickling your ear as he leans down beside you. “Been sleeping for three days, bub. Need you to wake up now.” 

You turn your head to the side and are treated to Logan dropping a small kiss on your forehead. You can’t help but smile at the affection, eyes half open against the bright lights. After a few moments, they dim. Jean takes her place on the other side of the table, lab coat on and stethoscope in hand. You expected her to shoo Logan away in the name of a more thorough analysis but she doesn’t even attempt it. 

Logan’s hand finds your own, gripping tight enough to be just short of uncomfortable. Jean makes quick work of taking your diagnostics, and gently informs you that besides feeling fatigued, you are just fine. 

That can’t be right. 

You know that you caught the brunt of the impact, it was beginning to come back to you. The young mutant had lashed out, and before you’d had the chance to get close, he’d sent a car flying towards you and Jean. She’d managed to counteract it with her own mutation, firmly shoving you out of the way. But she hadn’t been fast enough to catch the small metal spikes he’d also thrown. There was no way you should be ‘just fine’ by now. 

Either Jean was in your head or the confusion was showing clearly on your face. She gave you a tight smile, eyes darting between you and the door. She took a few steps back, clearly intent of making her exit. “Jean, wait, there’s no way-”

She gave you her please stop talking smile. “I think it’s best if this comes from him,” she nodded at Logan, placing her stethoscope and clipboard on the side table. “I’ll be back in a bit to do one final check before we clear you.” She gives you another smile that didn’t meet her eyes, and then she was gone. 

You began to sit up slowly, still in shock that there was little to no pain, only stiffness from being immobile for too long. “What is she talking about?” Logan huffed, supporting you with a hand on your back. “What’s going on?” 

One hand made long, slow strokes up and down your spine, while the other had not loosened it’s grip on your own since you’d woken up. His eyebrows were scrunched together, the tell tale sign of his thinking face. You tried your best not to rush him, but everything about the situation was so confusing and your mind was racing. You were far too healed, and he was being far too calm for the anger that was rolling off go him, still. 

“Didn’t expect me to just sit around when you came back one foot in the grave, did ya?” 

“I’m sorry if me coming back banged up gave you extra work, I just don’t understand why you’re so upset with me.” 

His eyes went wide, the hand on your back stilling. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart.” The tremble in his voice almost had you convinced. 

“Don’t lie to me about it,” you help up your hand, still firmly entwined with his. “I can tell.” 

“I’m notmad at you, bub.” He brought the back of your hand to his lips, peppering it with kisses. “I’m mad at the little fuck who did this to you, I’m mad that they let this happen, and I’m furious with myself that I wasn’t there.” 

“He’s just a kid, Logan.” 

His shoulders shook with silent laughter, a stark white dancing at the edge of his emotions now. Shock. “You almost died, and your first instinct is to defend the little asshole responsible.” 

You leaned forward, bumping your shoulder against his chest in warning. “I feel fine.” He nodded, taking a deep breath in through his nose while his hand not currently locked with yours resumed it’s path up and down your back. You let it go on for a few moments, appreciating the silence and the grounding effect of his touch. “Do you… wanna fill me in on why exactly that is?” 

He sucked in a breath, shoulders visibly tense. “We were lucky that Hank was stopping by for a visit.” He played with your fingers, distracting himself. You tilted your head to the side, wondering why that information was important at a time like this. “When they brought you in, god there was so much blood. Jean managed to take care of a lot of it, but she didn’t know when, or uh, if you were going to wake up.” He blew out a breath, steadying himself. “You know that Hank has been asking for a long time-”

Both of your hands gripped his tightly. “Tell me you didn’t.” 

Hank had been asking for ages to use some of Logan’s blood to synthesize a more advanced healing serum for the X-Men. It was rare they came back with more than bumps and bruises, but he was a worrier and felt that Logan was the key to making something truly effective. The only problem? Logan hated needles. You’d only gotten bits and pieces from him about why, but you had a hunch that when you were alive for as long as he had been, people were willing to poke and prod for some answers. He’d never admit it, but you had felt how terrified he was the last time he’d been down hard after a mission, and Jean had tried to give him an IV of fluids to speed up the regeneration. It hadn’t ended well, to say the least. 

“I should’ve done it sooner. Seeing you like this, knowing I could have done something about it.” He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. 

Cautiously, you fit yourself against him, arms tight around his neck and your chest flush with his own. You half expected him to reprimand you, to remind you that you should be careful, not to move too much. Instead, he held you tightly, the side of his face pressed against the top of your head. The two of you stayed like that for a good long while, reveling in the comfort of the other. 

“I know you think that you only did it because,” you paused, steeling yourself. “Because it was me.” You can feel him trying to pull away, but you mold yourself to him even more tightly, knowing that if he really wanted to he could break away from you like it was nothing. “You’re wrong. You would have done this for anyone.” 

“Except for-”

“Even for Scott.” You were quick to cut him off, unwilling to hear him being so harsh on himself.

You pulled back, just enough so that you were able to meet his eyes. You needed him to know that you are being earnest. “You are a good man, Logan. And before you even try to deny it or say I’m lying I know you can hear my heart beat. And I know you can tell when people are lying. And besides, I’ve never ever lied to you, have I?” He shakes his head slowly, one tear falling, and a few more after that. You reached up, brushing them away. He grabbed your hand, gently placing a kiss on your wrist, and then your palm. 

“Y’scared me, sweetheart.” He murmured, voice muffled by your palm still against his lips. “Don’t ever do that again.” 

You slide your hand to cup the side of his face, prompting him to meet your gaze. “You know I can’t guarantee that.” His eyes closed for a moment, and you knew he was doing his best not to shout. “I will always be careful, but I can’t stay back and leave the work to everyone else. If I can help, I’m gonna help.” 

His eyes narrowed, the tiniest hint of a smirk playing at his lips. “Fine. But we’re getting you trained up and you aren’t going out there without me again for a good long while.” 

You rolled your eyes, the both of you well aware there was no ill will behind it. “If you insist.” 

“I absolutely do.” He pulled you back into his chest, keeping you there until Jean peaked her head in through the door. 

“If you two are done being mushy, there are a few people who have been dying to see you.” 

Ororo rushed into the room, playfully shoving Logan away to scoop you into her arms. She gently checked you over, ignoring the fact that you’d already had several medical professionals on the case. Scott clasped you on the shoulder, reassuring you that for a first mission, this was a success. You laughed before shooting Logan a look that begged him to let it pass. He huffed, but nodded all the same. 

“Shocked we didn't have to keep him from trying to tear the kid apart, but he refused to leave the lab.” Scott nodded his head at Logan, who was continuing to shuffle closer to the table where you sat. 

Well, you would be dutifully ignoring the latter half of Scott's quip, instead choosing to focus on the young mutant. “You mean he's?” 

Scott smiled, nodding. “He’s settling in upstairs.” 

You grinned, glad to know that it hadn’t all been for nothing. You fixed your gaze on Logan, narrowing your eyes at him. “Don’t even think about failing him out of history as some kind of weird revenge, I’ll know and I will find a way to get back at you for it.” 

Your friends laughed around you, let you know that Charles has ordered in your favorite take out for dinner and started to filter out of the room. Eventually, you and Logan are left alone again, sitting side by side on the metal table. 

“You still owe me an important conversation, ya know.” You bump your shoulder against his. You stay there, pressed against his side with your head leaning on his shoulders. His hand rests on your shoulder, holding you close. 

“Maybe wait until you aren’t in a hospital gown, sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes, clearly aware that he was deflecting, but still content to take in his warmth and quiet support. You were safe, and you were home. Not just at school, but with him.

[hugsandnoregrets]

one of the cringier forms of virtue signalling on tumblr to me is people acting willfully obtuse and pretending that they don't know what a metaphor or basic storytelling devices are (while half their blog posts are humblebragging/complaining about being a 'gifted child') so they can dunk specifically on taylor swift.

like i'll never get over the reaction to the 'sexy baby' line, where she is referencing both a joke in a popular sitcom, and the 'born sexy yesterday' trope that tumblr frothed over the mouth about how succinct and astute of an analysis it was - but then pretended to take it as literally as possible to call a famous woman 'creepy' and 'weird' when she's relating it to her experiences of feeling tall/huge/taking up too much space/being a villain/monster on the hill vs. the expectation of a small childlike innocent young woman who makes herself act like a tiny weak baby for male validation.

and then they pretended the asylum she was referencing was... her childhood home? and not the music industry she was in since she was 15? the one that slut-shamed her, body-shamed her, stalked her, threatened her, created parasocial relationships with her, and expects everything out of her - but no, everyone played willfully dumb so they could call her privileged for thinking her upper class childhood home was an 'asylum' even when it clearly wasn't the intent.

acting like "the man" is talking about every man on earth and not herself but a man. a rich, white, talented, able bodied man. y'know, like leonardo dicaprio, who she directly references. but no no, she's saying her life would be easier even if she was the most oppressed man on earth. yep. ignore every lyric in the song to tell yourself that.

and finally the horribly cringe way they react to her storytelling songs. simultaneously whining that she only sings about her love life, then screaming about how she 'never cleaned up a house so why is she referencing that in her song!!!!' when she's clearly telling a story. like.

does it feel good? to pretend you haven't gone further than 4th grade reading classes so that you can dunk on someone you don't like?

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Toothache

How does one go "You're Too Sweet For Me" to "My Baby's Sweet As Can Be"?

Synopsis: Simon Riley finds himself stuck in a situation, growing feelings for his roommate who's so annoyingly caring, domestic, sweet and too good for him. What happens when he let's himself indulge in the sweetness rather than cage himself in the bitter life he's been told is the only one he's deserving of and the only life he's known?

Apologies to this mess of a lyricfic, I couldn't help it even though this was supposed to be a relationship analysis..

MEN WRITTEN BY ANA HUANG ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. Alright back to our original programmed schedule with Hozier. ALSO SURPRISE! THIS CONTAINS 3 HOZIER SONGS as an apology for not posting these past two weeks due to me enjoying holidays, reading, prom dress picking and wanting to stab myself because of life, there's the added bonus 👀

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Also reader in this one had a lot of characterization, she's me fr, so AFAB?Reader, Fem!Reader, Short!Reader, Reader is VERY feminine with fashion, soft-girl-sunshine!Reader and Chubby?Reader. Y'all have no idea how hard it is to write without a personality and physical intimacy in romance, I tried but failed 😭

Warnings and Disclaimers: Mentions and details on sexual content ahead (is this considered smut? Idk anymore). Not detailed smut but vivid memories of sexual intercourse (especially the dialogue) with Simon. Again, this is a safe account for all ages because I'm not a MDNI acc, you are responsible for your own media consumption. DO NOT GO ON MY DMS, INBOX OR REPLY TO MY CONTENT TO TELL ME YOUR AGE. I don't need to know that and let's strive to not make each other uncomfortable. Mentions of questioning of religion or rather belief on afterlife??

Pink, bold and italic: Lyrics

Italic: recalling past events

Little snippet of an image of how I imagined he'd hold you, courtesy of the one and only @ave661

"It can't be said I'm an early bird, it's 10 o'clock before I say a word. Baby, I can never tell, how do you sleep so well?"

Simon Riley was never a man to live the life he was taught to in the military, it was out of habit for him to not leave his room until around noon. Then there was you, his roommate, he didn't exactly calculate how much it would affect his personal life to save money through rent by willingly letting someone within the same living space.

He'd find himself with not even a wink of sleep, hearing your footsteps through the thin walls, hearing the lock on the windows outside click open.

"You kept telling me to live right, to go to bed before the daylight. But then you wake up from the sunrise."

He'd always hear you, quite frankly it was like nagging on the constant.

"Simon you shouldn't do that, you'll hurt yourself"

"Simon please go get some rest"

"Simon.."

He'd swear he'd rip his own ears out every time his name falls from your lips from how sweet and chirpy it sounded and yet deafening silence would consume him whenever you aren't around.

"You don't gotta pretended, Baby, now and then. Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake? Smellin' lika bonfire, lost in the haze?"

Something about you makes it so tempting for Simon to give in, I mean it would be a one time thing, wouldn't it? So soft, so pliant, he set himself up for an addiction. It wasn't healthy, he knew this, he'd convince himself of the fact that he would end up hurting you.

Just too different, it repeated like a mantra in his head. He was bitter, brooding and didn't find any sense of pleasure in living. Why'd you think he has the job he chose? It's all he knew, till you skip your way into his life, giving him the sweetness he was deprived of.

"If you're drunk on life babe, I think it's great. But while in this world, I think I'll take my whiskey neat"

Drowning himself in alcohol, a trait Simon promised himself he wouldn't ever do when he was young, setting his glass down with a small thud from the wooden table. But what would the kid version of him know about life. He didn't have healthier options of coping with what seems to be his dilemma.

But then there you were, sweet little thing coming home at the late hour in that skimpy dress of yours. Revealing too much to the eyes of those who wish to have you for themselves with just one look. Where did you go that night?

"My coffee black in my bed at three, you're too sweet for me"

Desperately trying to keep himself awake and at bay from his thoughts of you. Drowning himself in now two cups of straight black coffee to help him focus.

It was odd, you got used to the scent, was strong with a lack of sweetness but it calmed you down knowing he was around.

How he'd corrupt you, he wanted to shatter that rose tinted glasses of yours to save you from himself because being with him would change you. Selfish but he doesn't want that, you were utter perfection..

Simon further delved into his feelings, what the fuck was wrong with him?

"I aim low. I aim true, and the ground's where I go. I work late where I'm free from the phone and the job gets done"

Grumbling, Simon walks back into the apartment in the middle of the night. You heard a thud, you come out of your bedroom, yawing from you incomplete sleep.

"Si..? Are you hurt? What happened?" You asked in a soft tone, careful not to agitate someone would could possibly be pissed off.

Simon stays silent, glaring at you as his eyes was only thing visible because of his balaclava. Your soft gaze intimidated him, because why would he feel that squeeze in his heart?

"But you worry some, I know but who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate. The rest of you like you're the TSA, I wish I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong..."

The only thing Simon heard was a sigh from you and nothing more, you walk up to him, each footstep feeling louder than that last.

Something Simon didn't expect you to do was wrap you arms around his waist, tiny thing you are that your head only goes up to his chest. Your body against his, basking in the warmth in contrast to the cold weather he had to deal with coming home.

"You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. If you can sit in a barrel maybe I'll wait, until that day.."

You took care of him that night, to his reluctance and stubbornness. Despite refusing, he had no choice, he wouldn't want a soft thing like you on his ear the whole night till he agrees. You were persuasive in your own irritating way.

Sitting on the edge of the tub of the warm bath he's in, washcloth in hand. Touch was so gentle, why was it so soft? Why's it so warm? "It's the water you fucking idiot" his subconscious screaming at him. In denial.

Why is his heart beating so fast..? He wants to stab it to stop the feeling..

"I'd rather take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. You're too sweet for me"

Using both your hands this time around, one gently holding his chin with your fingers while the other wiping away at the eyeblack he had. Every scar on his face felt the graze of your finger.

The slow blinks, your eyes on his. Before any conscious thoughts consume Simon, he lifts his arms from the warm water and wraps them around you.

Your nightgown was now damp but you couldn't care less, now with the man you were pinning over, foreheads against the other.

"Si.." you softly whisper. That nickname will be the death of him, you'll be the death of him. He crashes his lips on yours, not wanting to let go till you both were panting. You were too fucking sweet, your lips, your skin, everything. He wanted a taste and he got it...

"My lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner"

Another sleepless night wasn't uncommon for someone like Simon.. however this aching feeling wasn't, he doesn't know where it's from or what it's about. Not until he heard you in the kitchen, letting out a giggle even though you knew better.

"If the Heavens ever did speak, She's the last true mouthpiece. Every Sunday's getting more bleak. A fresh poison each week "We were born sick"

That sweet fucking voice, like the angels speaking to him themselves. "Oh- I'm sorry Si, did I wake you up?" You asked, turning around to the sound of his footsteps.

That tiny nightdress of yours, a reminder of the night you spent together, that morning you slept in his bed.

Lashes beautifully displayed on the delicate skin of your under eyes. Soft noises while your chest was peacefully moving up and down with every breath.

"She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom". The only Heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well. A, Amen, Amen, Amen"

"Simon.. Ahh~" you moan out softly, your body writhing underneath him. It felt hot, sweaty despite the well ventilated room, so intimate from something that was supposed to be the farthest thing from domestic.

"Shhh, you can take it sunshine.. You don't want the neighbors to hear us, do you?" Simon whispers, callous hand covering your mouth with as little pressure possible, you whimper at his words.

Closing your eyes to lose yourself in the pleasure you've never felt before. Your body being worshiped with gentle hands and soft kisses that leave marks by the very same man who kept distancing himself from you, now he'd stop at nothing for your pleasure.

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life."

"Simon.. no more–" you whined. Scratching his back hard enough to leave marks without being aware, he'd always imagine what those pretty pink nails could do to him.

"Just one more, please sunshine.. you remember our safe word right?" Simon asks for you to nod softly, you didn't have energy to take anymore. "I told you I'll make you feel good, didn't I? So be a good girl for me and take it, hmm?"

Your eyes roll back at his praise, your legs shake with one after another wave of pleasure running through your body. This man was starved.. insatiable.. who would be able to resist such a request? Not you.

"If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight to keep the Goddess on my side. She demands a sacrifice, drain the whole sea, get something shiny"

It took everything in Simon not to worship the ground you walked on that night, he wasn't trying very hard, was he? Because always.. at the end of the night, you're in his bed, his mind, his life.

Was it really a sin? To want something you don't deserve? Simon stayed up that whole night, not a wink of sleep while thinking of whether this arrangement should continue. Every bone and organ in his body telling him to be selfish, take what was something that wasn't his to take.

"Something meaty for the main course, that's a fine looking high horse. What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful that looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work"

Simon's gaze, never faltering on your sleeping figure that he refuses to go anywhere but his own arms. He tries to close his eye to compose himself, free himself from the emotions you emit from him.

His efforts were to no use, all he saw was the image of you, sweetly smiling, those doe eye staring right through his soul.

"No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness, in the soil of that sad earthly scene. Only then I am human, only then I am clean"

You were getting too close for your own good, Simon knew that, he'll be damned if he let's himself hurt you. So he does what any stupid man would do, avoid you like the plague. Did it mean nothing? Were you just some fling, never to be talked about again?

Fuck you Simon Riley, he made you feel loved in bed like no man ever has or ever will, completely ruining your chance of ever thinking of anything else and that was just a hook-up session? Maybe this one time you can let yourself be delusional, was there really something more? Only one way to find out.

"Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen, Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life"

You caught him, fucking finally, after days of waiting and trying to get him at the perfect time. "Si.." you whispered softly, you didn't know where to start. He took a quick glance at you before looking back at what he was doing.

"Simon Riley, don't fucking ignore me. Not after everything that happened those nights" You said, it was stern but he needed to hear it. It made him stop, think about what had happened.

Before he could generate a response, "Why?" You asked. It was a vague question, why was he ignoring you? Why does he feel this way? Why does he love you yet refuse to act on it?

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life.."

"You don't deserve a man like me, you deserve one who is like you, optimistic, sweet, fucking beautiful and alive.. A man who's not damaged, scarred, has blood on his hands and haunted by his past. A man who's not afraid to show his love for you. A man who won't put his burdens on your shoulders and a man who will take care of you instead of the other way around. That's what you deserve and I can't give that"

Everything felt like it came to a stop, were you hearing that right?

"You have no idea how much you contradict yourself, Si. How are you so sure that you haven't given those things to me already? You might not be like me but "like me" isn't what I want.. I want you, every flaw, every beautiful scar. Not once before your silent treatment have you hurt me, it's frustrating yes, but you are worthy of that. Every struggle, frustration and mistake, every bit of your love is worth all of that. I want you to see that Si, your actual true worth rather than what some psychotic fucker decided to torture you with"

"Boys, workin' on empty. Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby, I'm so full of love I could barely eat"

"Si?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"I love you" You whispered after smothering him in a plethora of kisses. Never has anything made Simon melt more in his life than his wife say that. Doesn't matter how long it's been, how much the both of you have been through or how much frustration the both of you were going through..

It will always stay the same, the feeling those three words give him, like the first time, every moment feels that way. Familiar, finally.. Home.

"There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree. 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be, she give me toothaches just from kissin' me"

He always thought about how unfaithfulness was such a struggle between some people, he thought about how good he has it constantly, reflecting back on what he used to have to how now this is something he never thought he'd have or deserve.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

When a man finds himself in the verge of embracing death's arms, what causes the struggle? What causes him to fight that pain, to keep on going? Not once has this crossed Ghost's mind.

No. He's not Ghost, he's Simon. Your Simon.

And you're expecting your Simon home, fuck everything else, he'll give the biggest "fuck you" to death itself and crawl home to you because he'll be damned and he'll experience everything he has in his life over and over again just to hold you again.

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin, I woke with her walls around me. Nothin' in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did."

It should matter, the amount of blood on his hands. Not once did you judge him for it, what the fuck was wrong with you? Giving a monster such as him a bath like he was some innocent stray kitten, although this time around it was far more messy. The dried blood caked underneath his finger nails.

Flashing him a tired smile while you wiped off the blood that made the water in the tub a hue of brownish-red. Taking your hand in his, his lips brushing against your knuckles. The way you looked at him was enough to make him cry.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

"Fucking get up" Simon repeats to himself, "She needs you, she loves you" despite how many times he's convinced himself you didn't due to the voice of his father in his head, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart imagining how it would be for you without him.

How much you cried the night he came home a day later, you told him yourself, practically sobbing while clutching your aching chest and him with your other arm how you weren't ready for Price to show up at your doorsteps holding Simon's belongings.

He won't let that happen.. he can't...

"My babe would never fret none, about what my hands and my body done. If the Lord don't forgive me, I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me"

Simon knew it, no one would ever love him like you do. No one would show him the same acceptance, devotion, care, concern and love. It wasn't healthy to be so attached dependently to someone in love.

He couldn't help it, it felt so right, everything with you did. Never a judgmental one, at least towards him. Always first to hold him, the first to ever take away the heavy guilt that weighed his heart and shoulders down after he'd done something he knows he'll go to hell for, if it's even real

"When I was kissing on my baby and she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free. Heaven and hell were words to me"

Every inch was kissed, not a part wasn't worshiped. "So fuckin' beautiful, so sweet. All for me, hmm?" Simon mumbled against your skin, suckling on the soft sweetness that he so claims. All hickeys, no bruises.

Fuck, he'd not just survive but thrive on just you. No other sustenance, your supple thighs he adores to cover in purple, your neck, your lips and your skin that he often compares to sugar syrup in his head.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"

The question was, was it worth it to live an eternity of lifetimes filled with suffer to be with you in at least once? The only answer to ever graze Simon Riley's lips was the word "yes", the day that changes is the day that he'd be the biggest bull-shiter the world has ever known.

Simon opened the door to your shared home, "Daddy!" A loud squeal wakes him up from his dread of what he's seen on the field.

"How's my little sunshine been? 'Ave you been good to your momma while I was gone?" Simon asked, carrying the little girl in his arms.

"Yes! Momma said we'd go to the park tomorrow as a reward for me helping out!" Little one saying it so proudly, Simon couldn't help but smile, beaming with pride as his little girl grows up to be what he recognizes as a good person.

"Simon..? You're finally home, I missed you so much" You said, peeking out the laundry room. You walked out, quick to give him a peck on the lips.

"I love you Si.."

"I love you too Sunshine"

Also this is a very long fic.. I expect long feedback.. @connorsui 👀

Does this make sense? Idk anymore it's like almost midnight and I'm running on a few hours of sleep. GOD MY PROM DRESS LOOKS SO GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT.

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo

Trying out new dividers as well by @anitalenia

[strawbeerossi]

If You Leave Me

Pairing: Fem!reader x Spencer Reid

Description: After coming home, Spencer has nightmares of his wife leaving him after the weight of prison weighs on him after his release.

Content Warnings: Depression, mentions of problems with eating, nightmares, fear of abandonment, mention of parental abandonment, spoilers for the prison arc, mentions of blood and being beaten, anxiety, there’s a panic attack, general angst, light fluff towards the end

Word Count: 1.4K

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'The Show' is so amazing, so I might make more based on each song on the album.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F Kennedy.

Spencer had faced change for his whole life. Between his father leaving him with no explanation when he was a child to his mother’s schizophrenia spiralling, he was the poster child for adapting to the plethora of things that life can throw at you and making the best of things.

Child abandonment coupled with a mother whose illness was worsening, there was a lot of pressure on him at a young age. Spencer wanted to take care of his mother, make sure she was safe and sound. He enjoyed lying with her and reading, spending his time with the woman who he cared for. He struggled with making many friends.

Not a lot of high schoolers want to be friends with a twelve-year-old child prodigy. He was the target of relentless bullying, his safest place being home where he could read in the comfort of his own bedroom.

Most children who had any form of trauma as a child turned out to be psychopaths, incapable of empathy and most who exhibited those symptoms were serial killers, he was quite the opposite. Spencer would say that he turned out alright. 

Three PHDs, being a supervisory special agent for the Behavioral Analysis Unit, as well as being a literal genius. He had a team of people who loved him dearly, a good amount of godchildren who he adored, as well as a beautiful wife who did so much for him.

When Spencer was imprisoned, his experience killed a piece of him. The once sweet, innocent Dr. Spencer Reid was now a man who was more prone to showing his complex emotions, his temperament changing. He wasn’t nearly as talkative, he was having a harder time processing things that used to take him mere seconds to understand. It was why they had placed him on a weird schedule; every one hundred days spent in the field would have thirty days off following behind. He thought it was the stupidest decision they made.

Despite all of his protests, nobody would hear him out. It brought on the thoughts of him being untrustworthy. After all, he did kill Nadie Ramos. He may have been under the influence of drugs but that didn’t excuse a damn thing. He killed her with his bare hands. 

That haunted him. The fact that he could be capable of madness, capable of murder. It didn’t help that soon after, he was producing a tampered batch of drugs that he was being forced to push within those four cement walls.

Everyone told him that it wasn’t his fault, that some people were pushed to dark acts in order to ensure their survival. After all, a federal agent in the general population sector was a huge target, someone who would have a lot of enemies. Too many enemies.

After his release, there came a plethora of emotions. Y/N was a saint, patient as could be and more loving than he ever could’ve hoped for. Even when he was dissociating into his mind to shield him from all too familiar territory, she was right there. It had gotten to a point where he severely depended on her, the attachment so strong that he would follow her around the house as if he were a kitten who needed constant attention. 

Dinner was hard, the man having to be reminded that he could take his time to eat and he had no risk of someone coming and taking it whether he allowed them to or not. There were nights where he wouldn’t take a packet of cookies from his wife, stressing over having to ��pay her back’. It took a lot to break him out of that routine.

Don’t get him started on the nightmares. They were vivid, placing him back to the night when he was beaten in prison or to the day where Luis Delgado had his throat slit in front of him because of his own choices. It was like he could still feel the warmth of the crimson blood staining his hands in the failed attempt to stop the bleeding. 

In addition to nightmares that were filled with blood and violence, there was another recurring nightmare. One that killed him more than any sort of guilt of association ever could. It started out the same way every time, he would come in the house after a long winded case. There would be a lot of stress on his shoulders, a tightening in his chest because of the fact the case didn’t end the way the team had anticipated. He would then walk into the kitchen, where Y/N would be waiting for him. There was no sweet greeting, no kiss against his lips while she hugged him and cried about missing him. 

Instead there was a tense silence, the usually warm apartment freezing. She would turn to him, her eyes filled with exhaustion, no glimmer of love shining over them as they faced one another.

“I can’t do this anymore. You aren’t who you used to be, this time by myself has made me realize that I am much happier without you here. I don’t have to coddle you, treat you like a baby. I just can’t bring myself to love you anymore.” 

Spencer was waking up in a cold sweat, his body jolting upwards on the mattress while his other hand was quickly, yet cautiously reaching beside him to feel his wife’s shoulder. The touch had Y/N stirring awake, a gentle frown on her face. “Spencer?” Her voice was filled with drowsiness, her hands slowly pushing her to sit up on her knees while her free hand was leaning over to turn on the bedside lamp. 

Any form of annoyance from drowsiness was wiped away when she noticed her husband’s state. His face was drenched in sweat, his chest was heaving from the impending anxiety attack, he was unable to talk as his body trembled. “Shh, hey.” Y/N whispered as she was shuffling closer, pulling back the duvet so she could carefully pull her husband into her arms. 

Her fingers were threading through the messy curls, a weak sigh leaving her lips as she could feel his arms tightly wrap around her torso, practically squeezing the life out of her.

“I’m here. It’s okay, baby, I promise. Luis dream again?” She asked softly, her lips pressing a kiss to the crown of his skull.

“You left.” His voice was hoarse, the tears joining in soaking his face the same way that the sweat had done over the course of the night. “Baby..” Y/N whispered while her fingers were lightly scratching over his scalp, her cheek resting against his head as she was being hugged tightly, as if she would disappear if Spencer let her go. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that.” Her words were dipped in that sweet assurance, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. 

Spencer faced enough people who abandoned him in his life with little to no explanation, she could never be added to that list. He spent three long and gruelling months in a maximum security prison for a murder that he was pushed into doing under the influence of a drug that Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn got their hands on. 

This wasn’t like he was a man who snapped and murdered an innocent woman because of deterioration of his sanity. He was absolutely nothing like the men and women he hunted down for his job, she tried to push that every time that she could. “You’re a good man, you know that. I would be a fool to leave you.” She said softly. 

As her body was eventually laying down against the mattress, she couldn’t help but smile once Spencer quickly followed her movements. Her legs were spreading in order to invite him between them, the male laying on top of her as his head was against her chest. “There we go..” She cooed softly, her fingers continuing to comb through the tousled curls. 

With his cheek now smashed against his wife’s chest, he listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. 

The drumbeat mixed his wife’s sweet words of assurance and the warmth of her love radiating against him was enough to have Spencer starting to drift off to sleep. 

How did he manage to get so lucky to have a woman who wouldn’t give up on him?

[basu-shokikita]

About Depths of Humanity

So, I talked about The Duel some time back and I thought, why not do the same for this song too? It's actually one of my underrated faves from Doomstar Requiem.

This more of a rant than a strict analysis though, I just really enjoy thinking about the implications of this song and what it means in regard to Skwisgaar.

Let's start with Ishnifus' warning. He claims that inside lies danger, the ghosts of their pasts and their fears. He cautions them to stay alert and Dethklok brave forward, even if scared.

Inside, they encounter their old manager, old groupies and Skwisgaar's old guitar teacher, in that order. As promised by Ishnifus', they're all people from their past, coming back to haunt them.

Immediately, these people start recriminating Dethklok for not having paid them back after how much they helped them. In short, they're jealous of Dethklok's fame and money.

The band is clearly affected by the plaints, quickly forgetting what they were here to do. Except Skwisgaar, who reminds them all they have to find clues about Toki's whereabouts. It does not seem like they're listening to him, though.

Now up to here, I want to point out 2 things:

That Nathan and Pickles seem the most upset by these confrontations.

That, while Skwisgaar is disturbed, he still has their goal in mind.

About Nathan and Pickles, I think it makes sense, they are the leaders of the band, they're most conscious of its tremendous success. They also know they're extremely talented musicians, meaning, they're aware of their value. They know they're far from being these miserable pricks demanding rewards. Nathan had a nurturing family while Pickles used to be in a huge band, previously to Dethklok. They're both people that have been inherently helped by other people, which is why being confronted is actually uncomfortable.

Skwisgaar is certainly a different case. I have to say, I was pretty surprised to find out that he had a guitar teacher. Based on the flashbacks in Fatherklok, I assumed he had been self taught. Skwisgaar himself has admitted he was pretty poor in his childhood so it's hard to believe Servetta would've invested in his music education. Plus, he can't read music which I think would be hardly the case if he had gotten classes.

But anyway, I'll play along. This teacher is speaking English and he doesn't make any mistakes so I'm guessing he's american. Meaning, Skwisgaar took classes when he went to America, which was later in his life. To strengthen his game and/or learn the technical bits he might have missed before? Maybe? And if this was the case, then Skwisgaar would've felt less obligated to indulge to other people in his life, when he learned to be independent from a really young age. He doesn't feel like he owes shit to other people, because other people didn't give him shit. Thus, the Depths of Humanity effect is not that strong in him.

You could also argue that the loss of Toki is a far more terrifying prospect than these bitter acquaintances from their past but I'll elaborate on that further in this post.

Murderface? Well, Murderface has low esteem and is the less popular member in the band, so of course he can't fall victim to guilt-tripping. Because that would mean acknowledging he feels like he's in a better place than others, it would mean that he actually believes himself superior than others. But he doesn't, Murderface is convinced he's worth nothing, so this whole charade is more grating than anything. Which brings us to the next moment.

The way Murderface is coaxed by the Depths of Humanity crew, is when a seemingly fan approaches him and starts praising him, claiming he's the best one. And then, is when Murderface is hypnotized by the attention. He's already such a negative person, of course more negativity isn't going to get to him. But positivism? That's another deal.

Skwisgaar once again insists that they have to find a clue on how to find Toki but it falls on deaf ears. Nathan is grabbing his head in despair while Pickles clutches his chest in what seems to be an impending panic attack.

Now I really like the wording 'I'll look if you do, too' from Skwisgaar. It almost feels like, even in this situation, he's trying to sound cool about it. He doesn't want to be the only one caring this much about Toki, he doesn't want to be the one leading this operation. He's not a leader, he's never been a leader, even less when it comes to emotional stuff, which is the implicit purpose of this search. They care about Toki, and that's why they're looking for him. But is Skwisgaar seems to be unconsciously rejecting this fact. This attachment.

However, his bandmates aren't listening, too self-absorbed in their anguish to do so. Skwisgaar continues the search and is quick to point out at something on the wall. It's a flyer that he grabs and, immediately, seems to connect the dots about. In an unusual display of leadership, he tells Nathan to grab Murderface so they can leave. Their purpose has been fulfilled and they can finally escape this horrid place.

Okay, so this is my favorite bit, obviously. Once they're outside, Nathan and Pickles keep complaining about what they were just subjected to, and Skwisgaar stops them to show his discovery. It's the same flyer he just grabbed, and it features the place where Toki had his audition. Also known as the place where they all met Toki for the first time and Skwisgaar and him had the legendary duel.

We don't have a precise Dethklok timeline but it's been a long time since Toki joined the band. Several years, at the very least. And this building is nothing but a far away memory, from when they were a lesser band. From when they weren't the big rockstars they are now. So, it really begs to question that not only did Skwisgaar remember the place, but he did so at once, when he hadn't seen or heard of it in years.

...Unless, he had been thinking about it recently?

We know, thanks to the beautiful central section of the movie, that Toki had been thinking of his audition, of joining Dethklok, as a means to cope with the devastating reality he was faced with. We know reminiscing of his dazzling battle with Skwisgaar and the happiness he found within the band gave Toki strength to carry on. But what about Skwisgaar?

For someone who considered himself much better than other guitarists, to the point he didn't want to play with another one, to actually find an equal, someone that challenged him, it couldn't have been anything short of extraordinary for Skwisgaar.

The summit is for the very best only, yet it's quite lonely too, and Skwisgaar had been basking in that isolation his whole life. Until he played with Toki, then the idea of sharing his field no longer felt like an insult, but potential instead. He found someone that could improve his own playing, someone that could compliment his guitar, take it to even higher heights.

And so, Skwisgaar was the one to invite Toki to the band, more specifically, to tell him he wanted him in the band. While we can't factually know how the rest of the members joined Dethklok, we know for sure that Skwisgaar was the sole responsible for making Toki join, as the rest were already bidding him farewell for failing to keep up with Skwisgaar.

So, when the one person that challenged Skwisgaar's playing was taken away, it wouldn't be a stretch for Skwisgaar to look back on how it all happened. To ponder about the circumstances that lead them to the current situation. It's clear the whole band loves Toki and, unable to deal with their own sadness, drank and fucked to oblivion. This also applies to Skwisgaar, except that with him it's especially complex, given that he's the one that brought Toki to his world to begin with. Given that Toki and Skwisgaar share the same instrument. (Fun fact: you don't actually see Skwisgaar fiddling with his guitar in Doomstar Requiem, just puttings dat out theres.)

Obviously, this is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo but as any Pepe-Silvia-scene impersonator that respects themselves, I want to point out how interesting of a coincidence it is that, less than 2 songs later, Skwisgaar is saying this:

Right before they head in to rescue Toki and Abigail, Skwisgaar imparts some reflection of his. He's been wondering if maybe it wouldn't be better to go back to being a one-guitar band. Toki has been in Dethklok for a long time now, so it's interesting Skwisgaar has been thinking about this...

...Except, that's exactly what his mentality used to be like, before meeting Toki. Right when he was trying to convince Pickles that they didn't need a rhythm guitar, he spoke these words exactly. One-guitar band.

It's almost like Skwisgaar is trying to do some self-preservation by returning to his aloof roots. He made Toki join the band, now Toki's gone and in danger, and maybe this wouldn't have happened if they had stuck with Skwisgaar's original plan. Because they attempted to replace Magnus is why this came to be. The revenge Magnus promised did arrive.

I just wanna be clear. I don't think Skwisgaar believes he's the sole to responsible for this, I'm sure he knows Magnus is the main perpetrator here. But the facts remain the facts, and had they all stayed as they were, then they wouldn't be risking their lives now to save their fifth member.

Like this, it seems entirely logical that Skwisgaar would be thinking of his former reluctance, of the Duel, of everything. It's all fresh in his mind once again, because Toki's kidnapping has forced him to realize they're not actually untouchable. Their mortality is back on the table, and so are their bonds.

In short, Skwisgaar had been repressing all his emotions about Toki's disappearance, but from the Depths of Humanity onward, he can't help but show them. He can't help but admit to himself and others, that he wants Toki back. So much, that a bunch of angry and entitled people can't affect him enough to forget it. So much that it's making him remember how distant he used to be, before Toki. So much that it's making him realize how different he is now.

[fandomscombine]

Maybe This Time

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

BG: Aaron Hotchner has been a constant in your life since university and as you both journey in your prosecutor career. But what happens when he has been given the opportunity of his dreams to be part of the BAU on the other side of the country? How will your dynamic change? Especially when feelings are put into the mix. 

Fluff part for now, before the angst. Enjoy the build up, young Hotch and obliviousness to feelings.

A/N: First ever Aaron Hotchner fic since something clicked in my brain and this man has me in a chokehold. Okay when I started writing this, I was at the beginning of Season 4 of Criminal Minds after a year long hiatus (aka didn’t have Disney+), so please excuse if it’s a bit out of character and that it doesn’t align with canon. No Haley and Jack. Let me know what you think!

Inspired by the song Maybe This Time by Sarah G and a line from Ugly Betty lol.

WC: 1428

>>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<<

>>>CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST<<<

The problem with having a constant is that you don’t realize how much it means to you until something threatens it to change it. 

You’re coming up to two years working at the prosecutor’s office, the feeling of helping people and solving cases is what fuels you. Though you admit, there are days where this isn’t enough to block out the misogynistic atmosphere of the office. In all honesty, you don’t think you would have lasted as long in such an environment if it weren’t for Aaron Hotchner.

What started as an academic rivalry turned into being inseparable. Nerds with an overwhelming drive to fix the world. It was actually Aaron who offered the olive branch - admitting that while the constant competition and pettiness helped him be the best self on paper, was straining his mental and physical well-being. Turns out you both have a lot in common - same taste in literature and surprisingly dead-pan humor. The man’s ability to drop unexpected one-liners is beyond you, only to be topped by his laugh albeit rare. 

A genuine Aaron Hotchner chuckle easily fills an entire room as if you’re floating on a cloud - a laugh that is quite the opposite to what he just left out.

“What?” 

“Yes! Can you believe it?” Aaron exclaims, releasing his hold on your shoulders. “There’s an opening at the Behavioural Analysis Unit - nothing permanent yet but they’re looking into a pool for the perfect candidate and I’ve been shortlisted!” 

~

The training program at the BAU lasted 3 months and in that span, the excitement during the first few weeks had you and Aaron in constant communication despite him being across the country in Quantico. But as the weeks went on, the calls dwindled until there were none at all.

You were proud of your best friend, you truly are - having found an advancement in his career. Though you can’t shake off the empty feeling in your chest. You catch your mind often thinking about him lately - more than a friend should.

What is happening to you?

Aaron has been more than grateful to have this opportunity. Working under the mentorship of the BAU founders, Aaron knew coming in that the cases would be grueling. He's barely gotten a good 8 hours of sleep since he’s arrived but the nightly calls with you updating about his day was the only thing keeping him on powering through, channeling back to your school rival days. Well, at least then he would get to see your face daily - now all he has is the photo he has in his wallet.

“Suck it, Hotchner! Bow down to your superior!” 

“Never!”

“Says the Magna Cum Laude to the Summa Cum Laude. Face it - it’s in writing for the world to see!” You teased, it was always a blast to have Aaron red.  There was no way you were gonna let this down and Aaron knew that - charging at you before you could finish.

“Y/N L/N is smarter than Aaron Hotch-NERRRRRRRR!” Aaron picking you up and spinning caught you by surprise - hands instinctively looping around his neck. 

Neither of you notice the clicking of a camera, too enclosed in your own little world. 

“You’re one lucky man.” The comment breaks Aaron from his trance. 

“Sir?”

“Your girlfriend, I notice you step out and look at it whenever you’re stressed” Rossi says matter of factly, patting Aaron’s shoulder. One doesn’t have to be a profiler to notice that yearning on Aaron’s face. “You know the job takes a toll on everyone and it’s rare to see the lightness after a while.”

Aaron didn’t know how to react, his stare continued even after his boss had left. Girlfriend. His brain had momentarily stopped working when he heard of the word. Someone had thought you were his girlfriend - he didn’t correct them, and it felt good. 

~

Ever since Rossi’s comment, Aaron has been teetering back and forth about his recent discovery about himself. Because that’s the thing about you being a constant in his life, he had grouped his feelings for you and categorized them under ‘best friend’, effectively blinding himself from the evolution of his feelings. 

How can he be a good profiler when he can’t even read his own emotions? Does she even feel the same way? 

But that’s not even the biggest elephant in the room.

“Congratulations!” Hugging him tightly, your next words are muffled by his chest. “I know you've wanted this for so long.” Tilting your head up to meet his eyes, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten it if you didn’t push me in sending my application.” Aaron’s hold on your waist tightens, not wanting to let you an inch away from him. Aaron has just gotten back from a 6-hour flight from Quantico, his body begging for rest but his heart aching for your presence. 

The longing of months apart running through his brain and the next thing he knows, his feet have taken him to your apartment at 2 in the morning instead.

“Aaron?” you called, breaking him from his trance. “What’s on your mind?”

Aaron could help but chuckle. Of course even when he showed up unannounced and woke you up in the dead of night. Your first concern was about him.

Coming from a strict family and being the oldest, having someone worry about him was uncommon. So when these moments arrive, it hits him with full force.

“Nothing…” He exhales, tucking the stray hairs behind your ear. Aaron hopes you don’t feel how shaky his hands are as he does so. 

You raise your brows at him.  Aaron might be a man of few words, but you’ve known him long enough to know when he is holding back.

He sighs, the room is quiet and any wrong move would break the balance. Aaron cups your cheek, glancing from your lips to your eyes. He steels himself to lay his discovery out in the open. “It’s just…you’re so captivatingly beautiful.”

Your eyes widen. Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Aaron has called you pretty in the past, but there was an air of playfulness then compared to this whispered statement.

With the tension increasing ten-fold with each word. “These past few months, I was working at my dream job yet I couldn’t feel the best because you weren’t by my side.  Each night I looked forward to hearing your voice, whether it’s about how your day went or what you thought about the latest movie. And it killed me inside when the calls stopped…”

Aaron gulped, pausing to blink back tears that threaten to fall. 

Reaching up to grab his hand, you placed a kiss on his palm. Silently urging him to carry on and to say ‘me too’.

“I felt so guilty… then one day my boss caught me staring at a picture of us. He said that I was lucky to have a lovely girlfriend as an anchor to help in this grueling job and… I didn’t correct him.”

“You didn’t correct him?”

“I didn’t.” Aaron was now looking at his feet- embarrassed, mentally preparing for the rejection that was to come for letting his mind wander to the possibility of something more with you. He had crossed the line and placed his heart in your hands. “ At first I didn’t know how to react, you are my best friend, my constant support. But at that moment, everything became clearer.” Aaron confessed, however your response may be he will accept even if it would be the last ever time he gets to hold you in his arms. “Y/N. You’re my best friend, my constant support and I adore you.”

A beat passes as you process his words. 

“I’m sorry to spring this on you considering the circumstances. I understand if you want to keep a distance and not want to see me again.” Aaron steps back, takes one last look at you before turning to pick up his bag and leave. 

But as his hand reaches the doorknob, he is abruptly turned and pushed against the door. His gasp of pain is muffled by the crashing of your lips. Aaron drops his bag and instinctively pulls you closer. Air to breathe and the doorknob pocking his back be damned.

You were the first to pull away just enough that your lips brush each other’s. “I know you’re leaving in five months. And I know everyone’s gonna say it’s a big mistake. And I’m gonna get my heart broken but maybe it’s worth it.”

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 16: Yes, no, maybe

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

Spencer had gotten used to hearing that song as the opening theme every Friday, from your TV. One day at work, you referred to one of your favorite sitcoms, and you were quite surprised that the young man didn’t understand what you were talking about.

It turned out that the doctor had extensive knowledge in practically all areas, but entertainment was his weak point. So when you found out he had never seen Malcolm in the Middle, you basically forced him into having weekly meetings at your house to watch all the seasons.

At first, Spencer wasn’t too thrilled, as that genre of television wasn’t his favorite, but after the first season, it turned out that he was quite enjoying the show. The sharp humor, the cleverly written plots, the chaotic and dysfunctional family... all the elements seemed to have captivated his attention.

Many times, for both health and economic reasons, you prepared food at home for dinner. But that day, you decided to treat yourselves and ordered a large pizza with a six-pack of beer for you and lemonade for your friend.

You were both comfortably settled on your couch, ready to start the next episode, when you heard Spencer speak.

“I have a theory.”

“About what?”

“About Malcolm's family”

“Hmm,” you hummed, with your mouth full of pepperoni pizza. “I’m listening.”

“I’ve been thinking, and I believe Hal suffers from compulsive lying and gambling addiction, in addition to clearly seeking a mother figure in Lois. She has obsessive-compulsive disorder, needing to control everything to feel that things will go well; I’d say she’s a bit narcissistic as well, and she’s addicted to nicotine. Francis is completely impulsive, and I would even dare say he suffers from oppositional defiant disorder. Reese displays sociopathic and antisocial behaviors and has low self-esteem that he reflects through violence. Malcolm is gifted, of course, but also has antisocial and narcissistic behaviors, and is even a bit controlling and self-pitying, as if he had the worst of each of his parents. Dewey has musical genius; he’s somewhat introverted but quite sensible, and I want to think he’s the least toxic in the family. I mean, considering the family environment they’re in, they could be worse, but I couldn’t help but notice those psychological peculiarities in each character.”

Throughout the time Spencer had been speaking, you watched him attentively, and when he finished, you let out a loud laugh.

“Reid, when did you have time to think about all that?”

“This week! I started to remember, and somehow I needed to talk to you about the psychology of each family member. I think it’s very interesting; that’s why.”

“Only you could watch a show like this and come to those conclusions,” you laughed friendly.

In the background, the sound of the Wilkerson brothers fighting actively filled the room, and suddenly your friend became shy.

“But what do you think? Do you think I’m right?”

“On all points. It’s a very accurate analysis, yes,” you murmured playfully, taking a sip of your beer. “Who’s your favorite character so far?”

“I think Dewey. He seems very sweet and small… I don’t know, I think he’s a very noble and intelligent boy. Malcolm makes the mistake of letting his ego control him; otherwise, he would be my favorite.”

“Mine is Francis,” you confessed. “When I was a teenager, I was hopelessly in love with him.”

“That makes sense. I think because of your childhood experiences, you seek those chaotic situations in the opposite sex. In your partners, more specifically.”

“Oh, so now you’re psychoanalyzing me?”

“If we’re talking about psychoanalysis from a Freudian perspective, of course not. But Jung, on the other hand, had some contributions that I think are more suitable…”

“Reid,” you interrupted, placing one of your hands on his arm to get his attention. “You know I love hearing you ramble about all that, but do you really want to do such a deep analysis about this? About Malcolm in the Middle?”

It wasn’t a complaint, of course; you just sounded amused by the situation.

“You’re right; I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’ve thought so much about it.”

“That’s how the minds of geniuses work, I guess,” you joked, giving him a playful shove with your shoulder. “But now I want you to relax; let your brain shut off a little so you can enjoy silly TV situations and eat pizza like any of us mortals.”

Your friend nodded, feeling strange about all the thoughts that had arisen from something as bland as a sitcom, and he settled back into the couch, asking you for another piece of pizza. You spent the entire time laughing, eating, and drinking beside him, chatting occasionally about the show or really anything else.

Suddenly, you started to find resemblances between the characters on your TV and your colleagues in the unit, and when you dared to compare Ida, Lois’s mother, with Chief Erin Strauss, he broke into loud laughter. You rarely heard him laugh so freely, and inevitably, you felt contagious with joy, even if your joke hadn’t been that funny.

“I think she does look a bit alike,” he finally said, practically sprawled on the couch from laughter. “Especially in… you know, her particular personality.”

“Do you think you would have been in the advanced class of brainiacs that Malcolm is in?”

“Of course.”

“Show-off!” you exclaimed, teasing him for the confidence with which he had spoken while playfully shoving him.

You settled in better and pulled a blanket that was nearby so that you two could cover yourselves at least from your legs to your laps. This involved shortening the distance between you, but it didn’t bother you at all.

“I like watching TV with you,” he suddenly murmured, finishing his last piece of dinner. Spencer didn’t like the crusts of the pizza, and you always offered to eat them for him, so that night was no exception.

“I like it a lot too. It’s like… we’re getting rid of a bit of all the stress from work, right?”

“Yeah, I believe so.”

“Especially if it’s with my best friend at work.”

“Am I your best friend at work?”

“Don’t get too excited. You are because I don’t have many options.”

The man let out a hearty laugh, but he took the compliment anyway. In silence, you continued watching the comedy until, at some point during the night, Spencer spoke:

“You’re also my best work friend. And that’s saying something, considering I do have more options.”

With a smile on your face, you leaned over to kiss him on the cheek soundly, like a little girl would do with her preschool friend. It was innocent and sincere.

In the presence of the cold creeping under your feet, you both cuddled closer to each other (in the most respectful and friendly way possible) and continued enjoying the marathon, quite happy to at least be able to steal a couple of hours from the busy life you led.

[twopoppies]

https://x.com/paulnjenski/status/1760879945511743570?s=46

Wow louis ACTUALLY said that!!

Yep.

[criminal-act7]

Don't mess with my man

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Blk reader

Genre: fluff (for once)

Summary: One day during a case, Spencer gets jealous of some officers flirting with you, so he stepped in to get you. Since then, the BAU team has noticed your closeness and teased you both about your obvious feelings. During a night out, you get jealous when a woman flirts with Spencer, prompting you to step in and claim him as your boyfriend.

Warnings: jealousy, mild possessiveness

Notes: This song is stuck in my head. I also posted this on my K-pop blog, but I took it off real quick.

Spencer stood in the corner, his arms crossed, watching you as you spoke to the two young officers. The way you commanded their attention was effortless, a mix of professionalism and that unique charm of yours that always made people gravitate toward you. You were explaining to them what you did in the BAU, your hands moving expressively as you broke down your role with clarity and confidence. But Spencer could tell—the officers weren’t just listening because they were interested in your work.

They were flirting with you.

And, as usual, you hadn’t noticed.

It had been like this ever since you joined the team. At first, Spencer found your energy irritating. You were too happy, too bubbly, especially for someone working in a unit as serious and grim as the Behavioral Analysis Unit. He couldn't understand how you could be so cheerful when your job involved dealing with the worst of humanity.

But then, he saw you in the field. The first time he saw that shift—how you could still be warm and engaging, yet instantly serious and direct when needed—something shifted in him, too. You weren’t naive. You were strong, and your optimism was a choice, not a weakness.

He hadn’t meant to warm up to you. But you made it impossible not to. You were funny, kind, a good listener. You brought an energy to the team that helped them all, even in the darkest moments. And to top it all off, you were beautiful. But Spencer couldn’t ask you out. He didn’t think you’d be interested in him. Why would you be? You were the life of the party, the person everyone liked, and he… well, he was awkward, introverted, more comfortable with books than people.

Which is why he found himself here, leaning against the wall, trying to pretend he wasn’t watching the officers flirt with you. He clenched his jaw, feeling a knot in his stomach. You deserved better than that. They didn’t even care about what you were saying; they were just focused on how you looked. But Spencer knew you—really knew you—and he liked you for so much more than your appearance.

As he watched, one of the officers laughed a little too loudly at something you said, leaning in closer. Spencer rolled his eyes. They were so obvious.

You, on the other hand, seemed oblivious, smiling politely as you continued your explanation. Spencer knew you weren’t interested—you were always so professional when it came to your work. But it still bugged him. You sat on the desk looking pretty, and you didn’t even realize how pretty you were. Your soft wine colored off the shoulder top, complemented your brown skin with your light blue washed jeans. Your hair was braided up which was usual but this was a fresh this time. Then you wore your glasses they were fake but you liked having a different look to you and Spencer liked it. It was something about your glasses that made you ten times more attractive.

Morgan, ever perceptive, glanced between Spencer and the officers before smirking. "Pretty boy, I know that look," he teased, sidling up to Spencer. "You’re not jealous, are you?"

“What? No,” Spencer replied quickly, pushing his hands into his pockets, trying to keep his face neutral.

Morgan chuckled, clearly not buying it. “So you're just gonna let them flirt with your girl like that?”

Spencer bristled, his voice defensive. "She's not my girl."

Morgan raised an eyebrow and leaned in a little closer. "The way you're eyeing her says otherwise, jealous boy."

"I'm not jealous, and those guys aren't even that good looking," Spencer shot back, a little more heat in his voice than he intended. He looks at the guys again as they say something to make you giggle.

Morgan barked out a laugh, clapping a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. "Wow, you really are jealous. It’s okay, man. Happens to the best of us." Spencer tried to brush it off, but he couldn’t help glancing back at you, still in conversation with the officers. They were standing too close, and their smiles were just a little too wide for Spencer’s liking. He wondered what was so funny? It couldn't had been about the case.

“You know Hotch is gonna round us up soon,” Morgan said, his tone shifting to something more serious, though still playful. “You should go get her, pretty boy.”

Spencer furrowed his brow. "Why do I have to get her?"

Morgan grinned, stepping back toward the other room. “Because I'm not the one sitting in the corner jealous," he sang teasingly, disappearing through the doorway.

Spencer sighed, glancing one last time at you and the officers before pushing himself off the wall. Maybe Morgan was right... but he still wasn't sure if he was ready to admit it.

He took a deep breath and stepped forward, his heart pounding a little harder than usual. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he couldn’t just stand there any longer.

"Hey," he interrupted, his voice calm but firm, "we need to wrap up here. We have a briefing in ten."

You turned to him, flashing that bright smile of yours. "Got it, Reid."

The officers seemed disappointed but nodded, glancing at you one last time before walking away. As they left, Spencer stayed by your side, and you gave him a curious look.

"Everything okay?" you asked, tilting your head slightly.

Spencer shrugged, trying to act casual. "Yeah, I just... thought it was time to go."

You smiled again, this time softer, more genuine. "Thanks for the rescue. Those two were nice, but I think they were more interested in... other things." You say as Spencer nods at you of course you picked up on their disinterest of the original topic.

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah, I noticed."

"Why didn’t you say anything sooner?" you ask him confused as to why didn't he come to get you earlier. Spencer hesitated for a second, unsure of what to say. Then he looked at you, his heart racing, and said, "I didn’t think you'd notice."

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, the air between you shifted. It was subtle, but it was there. You smiled again, this time more thoughtful. "I always notice you, Spencer." You go into the room taking a seat. Spencer couldn't help but blush at what you said. When he goes in the room Morgan looks at him smugly as he takes a seat next to Emily while you sit in the front next to Rossi. Before he could ask how it went Hotch started talking.

The case was finally wrapped up, and you were just about ready to head back when one of the officers approached you, flashing the same charming smile he’d been using all week. Spencer, standing off to the side, rolled his eyes. Not this again.

The officer started his usual routine, laying it on thick. “You’re really something, you know that? A top-notch agent and, well, very easy on the eyes,” he added with a wink. You were about to say something but the guy cut you off.

Before the guy could even work up to asking for your number, Spencer decided he’d had enough. He walked over, his long strides quickening as the officer’s compliment landed. “Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Spencer said, cutting in smoothly, “but we really need to get going.”

The officer blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Oh, can I just—?”

“Sorry, no time,” Spencer replied quickly. Without giving the officer a chance to recover, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, steering you away from the conversation. “We’ve got a flight to catch.”

You let Spencer guide you, surprised at the sudden shift. Once you were a few paces away, you glanced up at him, an amused smile creeping onto your face.

“Spence, what was that about? You’re acting weird.”

“It’s nothing,” he said, his voice a little too fast. “I mean, we do have a flight, and Hotch is waiting for us. He’s our ride.”

You raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Uh-huh. Right.” You knew Hotch was still inside talking to the sheriff. Spencer tried to focus on the path ahead, but the warmth of your shoulder under his arm and the way you were looking at him made it hard to concentrate. “What? We do need to go,” he added, but you could hear the slight defensiveness in his voice. You just smiled, not pushing the subject for now, but filing it away for later. Spencer was acting strange—endearing, but definitely strange. And you had a pretty good idea why.

Later on the plane, you were sitting with Emily and J.J., enjoying some much-needed downtime. It didn’t take long for them to start teasing you.

“So,” Emily began with a mischievous grin, “what was up with those two officers back at the precinct?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Wait, how did you know about that?” you asked, glancing between the two of them. You had thought the flirting had gone mostly unnoticed, at least by everyone except you and Spencer.

J.J. laughed, leaning in a little closer. “It was kind of hard not to notice. Those guys were practically hovering around you the entire time.”

“Yeah,” Emily chimed in, “the way they were looking at you? They were definitely interested. Did they give you their numbers?”

You shook your head, smiling at the memory of Spencer’s intervention. “Nope. Spencer got to me before they could. Honestly, I’m glad. I didn’t want to have to turn them down like that. They weren’t my type.”

At that, Emily and J.J. exchanged a glance before bursting into laughter. “Spencer got to you first, huh?” J.J. teased, a knowing gleam in her eye.

“Oh, this is even better than I thought,” Emily added, smirking. “So, did our genius save you, or did you just let him swoop in?”

You felt your face flush. “Come on, it wasn’t like that. He just... helped me out of an awkward situation, that’s all.”

“Right,” Emily said, drawing out the word as if she didn’t believe you for a second. “Sure, just helping you out.”

Their teasing continued, with both of them throwing in playful comments about Spencer’s timing and how convenient it was. Despite your protests, you couldn’t help but smile at the whole situation. Maybe there was more to it than you were willing to admit.

Meanwhile, a few rows up, Spencer was sitting next to Hotch. He had a faint smile on his face, one he didn’t even realize was there. Hotch glanced over, noticing the unusual expression.

“Everything okay?” Hotch asked, a little confused by Spencer’s out-of-character behavior.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, his voice calm but laced with an odd sense of contentment. “Everything’s fine.” Hotch said nothing more, but a flicker of understanding crossed his face. He had a pretty good guess at what was going on but kept it to himself.

Across the aisle, Rossi leaned over to Morgan, who had been watching the whole scene unfold from the start. Morgan smirked, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “My man,” Morgan whispered, nodding toward Spencer with approval.

Spencer, oblivious to all the glances and whispers, sat there quietly. Nothing between you two had really changed, but the way you’d looked at him earlier, and the fact that you’d let him whisk you away from the officers—it felt like the start of something, something... And for now, that was enough.

After the case, the team couldn't help but notice how close you and Spencer had become. Whether it was holding hands absentmindedly or you resting your head on his shoulder during long flights, it seemed like you two were always in sync. To anyone watching, it was obvious that something was going on between you two, but to you and Spencer, you were just friends. Sure, there were feelings simmering beneath the surface, but both of you were oblivious to them.

One day, after a particularly long and exhausting case, Hotch decided the team needed a break. As a reward for all the hard work, he gave everyone the next day off. To celebrate, Emily, Garcia, and Morgan started making plans to go out that night. Morgan, always the social one, immediately turned to Spencer.

“Come on, pretty boy, you should come out with us,” Morgan said, nudging Spencer, who predictably shook his head.

“I don’t really think—” Spencer started, but then he overheard Emily ask you if you were coming along.

“Are you kidding?” you said enthusiastically. “I’ve been dying to go out. I just need to go home and change first, but I’ll meet you guys there.”

Spencer hesitated for a moment, but when he saw the excitement on your face, he changed his mind. “Actually… I think I’ll go too.”

Garcia, overhearing this, snickered to herself. “Reid is so whipped,” she whispered, watching the two of you walk ahead together.

Emily, unable to resist, leaned in and quietly shared, “Did you guys notice the other day on the plane to South Dakota? She was holding Spencer’s hand the entire flight, and she didn’t even realize it.”

Morgan grinned, adding, “Oh, and last week? She fixed Spencer’s hair during the briefing, and the guy practically lit up like a Christmas tree.”

As the three of them exchanged knowing looks, you and Spencer, now a few steps ahead, suddenly noticed the group lagging behind. You glanced back and asked, “Hey, what’s going on back there?”

Morgan, Emily, and Garcia immediately straightened up, all of them wearing innocent expressions. “Nothing!” they chorused in unison, clearly hiding something.

You gave them a skeptical look but shrugged it off, turning back to Spencer as the two of you continued chatting. Meanwhile, behind you, the trio exchanged glances, silently agreeing that it was time to take matters into their own hands.

“So, what’s the plan to get those two together?” Emily whispered to Garcia.

“Oh, I have a few ideas,” Garcia replied, a mischievous grin forming on her lips. “They’re halfway there already; they just need a little push.”

Morgan chuckled. “Count me in. Let’s make sure tonight is very interesting.” As you and Spencer unknowingly walked into their plot, you continued to talk about your plans for the night, completely unaware of the matchmaking scheme brewing behind you. For now, you were just looking forward to a fun night out with your friends—and, of course, Spencer, who somehow made every moment feel just a little bit better.

Garcia, Emily, and Morgan waited at the bar, excitement buzzing in the air as they plotted their next move to bring you and Spencer together. Emily had devised a plan, making up an excuse about why Spencer couldn’t ride with them, and it had worked perfectly. You had hesitated at first, unsure about being a bother, but Spencer insisted he wanted to come with you, making you feel a little more at ease.

The three of them settled into a booth, sipping drinks and keeping an eye on the entrance. Emily leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “So, what’s our game plan for tonight? We need to get them talking more, maybe even dancing.”

Garcia nodded enthusiastically. “Definitely! And we should definitely have Spencer and her sit next to each other when they get here. That’ll give them a chance to get closer.”

Morgan leaned back in his seat, smirking. “You guys are way too obvious. It’s going to be hilarious to watch him squirm.”

Just then, they saw you walk in, and the conversation halted. You looked stunning in a fitted dress that hugged your figure perfectly, and the knee-high boots you wore added a fierce touch. Garcia couldn’t help herself. “Wow, look at her! That dress is incredible!”

“Check out those boots!” Emily added, eyes wide. “She looks amazing.”

Morgan grinned widely, his gaze shifting to Spencer, who was right behind you, taking in the sight of you with an appreciative look. “And look at Spencer. He’s practically checking her out.”

As if on cue, Spencer reached out, wrapping an arm around your waist, and you smiled up at him. “Oh my God, Derek!” Penelope exclaimed, barely containing her excitement.

It wasn’t until you spotted them that Spencer lets go of you as you pulled Spencer over to the table. As you approached the booth, you spotted them and your face lit up. “Hey, guys!” you greeted happily, your voice brightening the atmosphere around the table. “Sorry I’m 30 minutes late!”

“Not a problem at all!” Garcia said, a sly smile playing on her lips.

Morgan chuckled, leaning forward. “We were just getting an eyeful of your fashion choices. You look fantastic!”

“Thanks!” you replied, a little bashfully. “I wanted to look nice for tonight.” You paused, glancing at Spencer, who stood next to you, his expression unreadable.

“Well, it’s working,” Emily said with a wink. “You definitely caught our attention.”

You grinned, appreciating the compliment. “I’ll get the first round. What does everyone want?” you asked, taking out your phone to note their orders.

As you walked away to the bar, Emily, Garcia, and Morgan wasted no time in turning their focus to Spencer.

“So,” Emily started, feigning innocence, “what do you think of her outfit?”

Spencer, caught off guard, stammered, “Uh, it’s…nice.” He quickly looked away, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink.

Garcia giggled, nudging him playfully. “Nice? Is that all you’ve got, pretty boy? She looks stunning!”

“Come on, Reid,” Morgan chimed in, a teasing grin on his face. “You’re clearly checking her out. Don’t hide it!”

Spencer sighed, knowing he was trapped. “I just—”

“Just what?” Emily pressed, leaning in closer. “Do you like her or not?”

“I mean, she’s great,” Spencer finally admitted, his voice a mix of admiration and embarrassment. “We’re just friends.”

“Right,” Garcia said, barely containing her laughter. “Friends who hold hands and check each other out.”

“Reid, you’ve got it bad,” Morgan teased, leaning closer. “You can’t even hide it.”

Spencer shrugged, attempting to play it cool, but the flush creeping up his neck gave him away. “I just think she looks great,” he replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Morgan chimed in, pointing at Spencer. “Seriously, man, you were totally checking her out.”

Spencer shook his head, trying to play it cool, but the slightest blush crept into his cheeks. “We just drove here together; it’s not a big deal.”

Emily smirked, leaning in closer. “Not a big deal? You were holding her waist! What happened when you two left? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened,” Spencer replied quickly, trying to keep his tone light. “I just stayed in the car while she changed at the apartment.”

Morgan chimed in, pointing at Spencer with a teasing grin. “Seriously, man, you were totally checking her out.”

Spencer shook his head, trying to play it cool, but the slightest blush crept into his cheeks. “We just drove here together; it’s not a big deal.”

Emily smirked, leaning in closer. “Not a big deal? You were holding her waist! What happened when you two left? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened,” Spencer replied quickly, striving to keep his tone light. “I just stayed in the car while she changed at the apartment.”

“Yeah, and you let her go out in that dress?” Emily shot back, her eyebrow raised.

“I mean, that’s none of my business. We’re not together,” he said, trying to sound indifferent.

“Not yet,” Garcia piped in, her enthusiasm unabated. “But you act like it. Make your move!”

Before Spencer could respond, Emily glanced around, her expression shifting slightly. “Where is Y/N, by the way? She’s been gone for too long getting those drinks.”

The three of them turned their heads toward the bar, and then suddenly caught sight of you on the dance floor. You were laughing and dancing with some girls, completely in your element.

Garcia, eyes sparkling with mischief, nudged Spencer. “You should go get her!”

Spencer hesitated, watching you dance. The way you moved, carefree and joyful, made him smile to himself. He didn’t want to interrupt your fun, but the teasing from his friends was starting to grate on his nerves.

“Come on, don’t just sit there,” Emily said, nudging him again. “You’re missing your chance.”

“Yeah, man, go get your girl!” Morgan chimed in, his voice playful yet encouraging.

Spencer felt the warmth of their gazes on him, urging him to take action. He glanced back at you, laughing and dancing as if the world didn’t exist. Maybe he could just watch a little longer, but as Emily’s teasing began again, he decided he didn’t want to be the wallflower anymore.

“Okay, okay,” Spencer finally relented, standing up from the booth. He took a deep breath, feeling a rush of determination. “I’ll go get her and grab the drinks.”

As he walked toward you, he could feel the weight of his friends’ encouragement behind him, but he also felt a thrill of nerves. This was different. You were different. With each step, he knew he wanted to take that leap, and tonight might just be the night. He continues to watch you dance your body moving to the beat of the song. You were having fun that was clear he admired how much your smile lit his whole world. He didn't want to remind you about the drinks so he went to the bar got the drinks himself and went back to the table.

You were on the dance floor, having the time of your life, but as the music slowed and your feet began to ache, you made your way back to the booth. Emily, Garcia, and Morgan were already there, sipping on their drinks, and that’s when it hit you—you had completely forgotten to bring them their drinks.

"Sorry, guys! I got caught up," you apologized, genuinely feeling bad.

“No worries,” Morgan grinned, glancing over at Garcia. “Spencer took care of the first round. He was supposed to come get you, but you were a little busy dancing.”

You chuckled sheepishly, glancing around the bar. “I’m sorry again. I didn’t realize.” You had to remind yourself to get the next round of drinks and spend two drinks on Spencer. Feeling guilty that he had to pay for drinks you offered to get in the first place.

“Speaking of which,” Emily said, leaning back in her seat with a smirk, “Spencer was supposed to be getting us another round, but he’s taking his sweet time. He’s probably distracted by the blonde at the bar.”

Your gaze snapped to the bar, and sure enough, Spencer was chatting with a tall blonde woman, who was laughing and leaning in a little too close for your comfort. You rolled your eyes, muttering, “She’s Cute,” in a snarky tone crossing your arms. As you eyed her up and down from a distance.

Garcia’s eyes lit up at your reaction, picking up on the jealousy you were trying to hide. “Ooh, look at you,” she teased. “She’s been talking to him for the past 20 minutes. Seems pretty cozy, huh?”

You waved your hand dismissively. “He’s just being nice. That’s how Spencer is.” You say Spencer was a nice guy especially when it came to women. He wasn’t awkward as most people saw him at least not with you. You both were inseparable spending time with each other in and out of work or talking late at night after cases.

Emily, always quick to stir the pot, leaned in closer, her voice playful. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” you replied, too quickly. The word came out sharper than you intended, which only made Morgan grin wider.

“Right. You’re not jealous at all,” he said, teasing you further. “Because, you know, you haven’t been clinging to Spencer this whole time or anything. It’s not obvious that you like him.” You tried to laugh it off, but their teasing hit a nerve. You didn’t deny your closeness to Spencer, but you weren’t about to confirm it either. Who wouldn't fall for Spencer? He was nice, smart, caring for his friends you included, and he good looking in your eyes. You especially liked when he spoke his nerdy genius facts, you always liked learning and you soaked up his facts like he was storyteller of facts.

“We’re just friends.” You say as that was the truth despite you wanting to be more. You knew feeling jealous was wrong but if Spencer wanted to date someone it was out of your control.

As the others exchanged knowing looks, you found yourself glancing back at the bar. The blonde was still there, her fingers twirling a strand of hair as she laughed at something Spencer was explaining. Your stomach twisted, and you hated that you felt this way. Spencer wasn’t yours, and he could talk to whoever he wanted. But still… something about it didn’t sit right with you.

Morgan, noticing your silence, nudged you again. “You sure you’re not jealous? Because it kinda looks like you are.”

You straightened up, forcing yourself to stay calm. “She’s a tall, bleach blonde with a 36D cup, and she’s probably pretending to understand whatever Spencer’s talking about. She’s got nothing on me. And besides, the only blondes I like Spencer with are Garcia and J.J.”

Emily and Morgan exchanged a glance, and Garcia practically cackled. They could tell you were trying to downplay your feelings, but your words only revealed how fired up you really were.

It wasn’t until you saw the blonde reach out and touch Spencer—first his arm, then his hair—that you had finally had enough. “You know what? The next round’s on me,” you said, abruptly standing up from the booth.

As you strode toward the bar, Garcia couldn’t contain her excitement. “Oh, this is it. This is the moment!” she squealed, practically bouncing in her seat.

Morgan and Emily high-fived, pleased with how their little mission was playing out. They had been waiting for a moment like this, and now it seemed like you were finally about to act on your feelings.

You didn’t care what anyone thought anymore. Watching that woman touch your Spencer like that ignited something inside you. As you approached the bar, your heart raced, but your steps were confident, purposeful. Spencer might not even realize what was happening, but you knew one thing for sure—you weren’t going to let some random blonde take your place by his side.

You approached the bar quietly, trying to catch the conversation the blonde woman was having with Spencer. She was leaning into him, laughing and commenting on how good he looked for an FBI agent. A wave of possessiveness surged through you, and before you could think twice, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. Spencer, caught off guard, glanced up at you, confusion flickering across his face.

“Hey, Spence, did you get the drinks for the others?” you asked, casually resting your chin on his shoulder. The blonde woman looked at you eyeing you like you did her. You swayed back and forth and Spencer as usual let you. To him and you this was normal but you wanted to give her the idea that he was taken.

“Oh yeah, that’s right! I’m sorry, I forgot,” he mumbled.

“No worries, I should’ve gotten the drinks when I had the chance,” you replied sweetly.

The blonde wasn’t done with him though. “Spencer! You were saying?” she interrupted, her voice laced with annoyance as she tried to pull his attention back to her. But it was all on you as you two had your own conversation.

Spencer blinked. “Huh?”

You leaned into him more, almost daring her with your eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” you asked, knowing exactly what you were doing.

“Yes—” Heather began, but Spencer quickly cut her off, clearly sensing the rising tension.

“No. Not at all. We were just talking about our jobs at the BAU… Oh, Y/N, this is- uhhh Heather! Her name is Heather,” Spencer introduced her awkwardly, stumbling over his words. You didn’t move from him, still holding onto his shoulders as if to make it clear to Heather that Spencer wasn’t going anywhere.

You eyed her up and down and rolled your eyes. “Heather, huh? Cool name. I'm Y/n ” you said, not bothering to hide your disdain. You reach past Spencer to shake her hand trying not to be rude to Spencer.

Heather’s smile faltered slightly. “You work with Spencer?”

“Oh yeah,” you replied, turning to Spencer with a sweet smile as you ran your hand through his hair, fixing it just how you liked. “We work tons of hours together, we're really...close aren't we, Spence?” you ask looking to him for his answer. Spencer didn’t understand it but he knew you were acting strange. Your tone the way your body language was different.

Spencer nodded, a little too enthusiastically. “Yeah, we do. Actually, we just got the day off tomorrow!”

You rolled your eyes again, internally groaning. As much as you adored him, he was too polite to recognize that Heather was blatantly flirting. Or maybe he did know but wasn’t sure how to shut it down. Or he could be interested in her but you didn’t let that thought linger any longer.

Heather’s eyes gleamed. “Oh, are you free tomorrow night?”

Before Spencer could even think of answering, you spoke up. “No, he’s not,” you said quickly, your voice firm.

Heather blinked, clearly taken aback. “I was talking to Spencer,” she said, her voice icy.

“And I told you, he’s not free,” you repeated, stepping closer to him, almost in front of him now.

Heather wasn’t giving up so easily. She gently nudged you aside, leaning in closer to Spencer. “Anyway, Spencer, are you free tomorrow?” you felt your body get hotter by the second she spoke. The urge not to hit her when she touched you, as you knew you'd be wrong if you did.

Spencer shifted awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable. “I—uh—I mean—”

Before he could finish, you cut in again, your jealousy bubbling over. “He has a girlfriend,” you blurted out, shocking both Spencer and Heather.

Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise, and you could feel his gaze on you. If he didn’t know you were jealous before, he definitely knew now.

Heather crossed her arms, her expression skeptical. “I don’t see her, and he hasn’t mentioned her.”

You stepped forward, standing your ground. “I’m right here.”

Heather’s eyes narrowed as she looked you up and down. “Please. You’re just jealous that Spencer’s interested in me. You don’t have any claim on him just because you work together.” Spencer looked at you wondering what your next move was, you didn't deny that you were jealous not once. Nor did he deny that you were his girlfriend, he could but he didn't want to. He tries not to smile but then he looks back at you as you grew quiet.

You were practically shaking with anger, but her words hit you harder than you expected. She wasn’t entirely wrong—you weren’t Spencer’s girlfriend, and this was starting to feel like a massive embarrassment. But just as your thoughts started to spiral, Spencer stepped in.

“Here are your drinks, miss,” the bartender said, sliding the drinks over to you and Spencer. He thought this was the perfect time to get the two of you away from Heather and back to your friends.

Spencer set the drinks down and took your hand in his, placing his other hand gently on your shoulder. His touch was grounding, and when he spoke, his voice was calm and reassuring. “It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have anything to prove. I’ve got the drinks; let’s head back.” He wanted you to know there was nothing to worry about, he wasn't interested in Heather. Not even attracted to her, as he holds your hand and whispers in your ear how you're here to spend time with friends and have a good time. You smiled, feeling instantly soothed. He knew just what to say to ease your frustration. You look at him and he looks at you with hearts in your eyes like nothing else mattered. And it didn’t. The two of you leave heading over to your friends. But Heather wasn’t done though.

“Spencer, wait—if you’re free tomorrow, call me,” she said, handing him a napkin with her number on it.

Before you could react, Spencer turned and walked back to the bar, trying to give the napkin back. “Look, you seem really nice, and you’re very pretty, but I’m not interested.” You didn't notice Spencer wasn’t by your side at first but Emily and Penelope gave you a look as you turned to see Spencer stuck again. You leave the drinks at the table and go back over to Spencer. You sneak up from behind him listening to Heather’s desperate attempt to get with your genius.

Heather huffed, clearly not taking the rejection well. “Come on, Spencer. Are you really just trying to spare her feelings?” Heather refers to you as Spencer thinks about his next words carefully.

Spencer shook his head. “I’m not sparing her feelings because we work together. I’m sparing your feelings because I love her. For a long time and she feels the same way” Spencer says confidently as Heather scoffs.

The confession hit you like a ton of bricks, and you stopped in your tracks, staring at him wide-eyed. Did he just say he loved you? Well this was the time for you to say what you needed to say.

You stepped in front of him, your heart racing. Spencer looked at you, his expression soft, almost hopeful, as if he wasn’t sure you heard him. He didn't know what you were going to say, but he felt

“My name is Y/N, I have a name so say it.” you said, snapping back to Heather. “And you’re right. I am his coworker. But I can have him anytime I want to. So, thank you. You gave me the strength to fight for the man I love, but I’m not going to, because I’ve realized there’s no competition. You can't compare to me. This is my man, together or not and he certainly doesn’t want you, maybe if you weren't so desperate Heather you'd know that. So go find your own man and don't touch mine. We’re leaving now. Goodbye.”

With that, you turned and walked away, Spencer following closely behind, still reeling from what just happened. You called him yours. You were actually jealous and to him you looked pretty hot. He was used to you being so nice and he's seen you angry during cases but this felt different. Spencer takes you hand as you go back to the booth where your friends were waiting. The moment they saw the two of you, a chorus of cheers erupted from the table, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

"Finally!" Garcia squealed, clapping her hands. Emily raised her glass, and even Morgan was grinning ear to ear.

"Looks like the mission was a success," Morgan teased, and Spencer just shook his head, smiling, as he held your hand a little tighter. The two of you didn't discuss your obvious feelings not while you were being teased. But you both knew at sometime in the future hopefully tomorrow you'd talk about it.

As you and Spencer left the bar that night, you insisted on driving him home. The night had been fun, but you felt like there were some things left unsaid—especially after the events at the bar. Spencer agreed, quietly watching you as you drove, his eyes curious but gentle, clearly wondering what was on your mind.

When you pulled up in front of his apartment, you turned off the engine but didn’t make any move to get out. Instead, you turned to face him, gathering your thoughts before speaking.

“I wanted to talk about what happened earlier,” you began, your voice a little hesitant. Spencer raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue.

“I know I kind of... jumped in with that girl, and I didn’t handle it the best way,” you admitted, glancing down at your hands on the steering wheel. “It’s just... I got jealous. I don’t usually get like that, but when I saw her flirting with you, I couldn’t help it. And I guess that’s because—well, because I have feelings for you, Spencer.” You took in a deep breath looking up at him, waiting for his reaction. Spencer’s eyes softened, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I figured that might’ve been why you did it,” he said, his voice gentle. “But... I should probably confess something too.” Your heartbeat quickened as you waited for him to continue.

“I was jealous too,” he admitted, his gaze dropping slightly. “Remember those two guys at the police station about a month ago? They wouldn’t stop flirting with you, and... I hated it. I didn’t know how to deal with it, because I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way about me, and I didn’t want to risk messing things up between us.”

You blinked in surprise. “You were jealous? Of them? They're not my type”

Spencer nodded. “Yeah. I mean, you’re funny, kind, smart, beautiful—why wouldn’t they flirt with you? But it drove me crazy. And then tonight... seeing you claim me like that at the bar... it was, uh... kind of hot, to be honest.”

Your cheeks warmed at his confession, and you laughed softly. “Kind of hot?”

Spencer smiled a little wider, his eyes brightening. “Okay, very hot,” he corrected. “But more than that, it just reminded me how much I care about you. I guess what I’m trying to say is... I’ve had feelings for you for a while. And after tonight... I think it’s pretty clear that I’m your man now, just like you said.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest. You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned closer, gently pressing your lips to his. The kiss was soft, sweet, and everything you had hoped it would be. When you finally pulled back, Spencer was grinning, a little dazed, as if the kiss had left him breathless.

“So... does that mean we’re officially a couple?” you asked, still smiling.

Spencer nodded, his eyes twinkling. “I’d say so.” The two of you hold hands and sit in silence as Spencer looks at your lips again.

"Can we kiss again?" Spencer asked, his voice soft and a little shy, making you chuckle.

“You don’t have to ask, Spence. Just do it.”

Without hesitation, Spencer leaned in, and the two of you started kissing again. This time, it was deeper, more passionate. His hand rested gently on the back of your neck, and you found yourself pulling him closer, your fingers running through his hair, tugging lightly as the kiss became more intense.

Spencer responded eagerly, his other hand settling on your waist as you melted into each other. The air in the car felt warmer, filled with the heat of the moment. His lips moved against yours with a newfound confidence, and you could feel the electricity between you, making your heart race faster.

As you both paused for a breath, his forehead resting against yours, Spencer smiled, his breath a little ragged. "You know," he whispered, "this might be the best night of my life."

You laughed softly, still catching your own breath. "Well, it's not over yet."

Spencer's eyes sparkled at that, and before he could say anything else, you pulled him back in for another kiss, losing yourselves in each other all over again.

When you finally needed to cool down you leaned back in your seat, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, just enjoying the shared understanding between you.

Then, Spencer’s smile turned teasing. “You know, I kind of like jealous Y/N. It’s a new side of you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh, shut up. I wasn’t that jealous.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You totally were. You didn’t even let me answer her when she asked if I was free tomorrow.”

“Okay, fine, maybe I was jealous,” you admitted, laughing. “But only because you’re mine now.”

Spencer’s smile softened at that, and he reached over to take your hand, intertwining your fingers. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You both sat there for a little longer, basking in the comfort of your new relationship. It felt right—like everything had finally fallen into place. And as you sat there holding hands, you knew that this was just the beginning of something special between you and Spencer.

Monday morning, you and Spencer walked into the BAU together, and Garcia was waiting at her desk with an eager smile. "So... how was the date yesterday?" she asked, practically buzzing with excitement.

“It was great,” you answered, though you couldn’t help but smile when Spencer, standing beside you, started launching into the specifics. “We went to the museum, grabbed dinner, and—”

You gave him a playful nudge. “Spence, she doesn’t need to know everything.”

“Oh, but I do!” Garcia’s eyes gleamed. “This is exciting! You two are finally together.”

As Spencer talked, you felt a strange mix of pride and awkwardness. Being at work with Spencer now that you were officially dating felt... different. You weren’t used to having your relationship on display for everyone, and it was obvious that the team was already tuned in to every detail.

J.J walked in, noticing Garcia's unusually happy mood. "What’s going on with you today, Garcia?"

Before Garcia could answer, Emily and Morgan jumped in. "Oh, you don’t know? Y/N and Reid are finally a couple," Emily said with a grin.

J.J’s eyes widened. "Wait, what? How did that happen?"

You overheard the conversation and turned toward them, about to say something when Garcia started recounting the story of how jealous you had gotten at the bar.

"It wasn’t like that—" you began, but Spencer, with a teasing grin, added fuel to the fire.

"You wouldn’t even let me speak to that girl when she asked if I was free!" he teased, nudging you lightly.

You groaned, rolling your eyes. "I told you I was sorry the other night," you muttered, feeling your face flush with embarrassment.

"Oh my God, you two are really a couple now!" J.J laughed.

“Who’s a couple?” Rossi’s voice suddenly chimed in as he entered the bullpen.

“Y/N and our pretty boy,” Morgan answered with a proud smile.

Rossi chuckled, nodding in approval. "Well, it’s about time! How did this happen?"

Spencer, now getting into it, started explaining the events at the bar to Rossi and J.J—how you got jealous when the blonde woman was flirting with him, how you interrupted, and how you eventually claimed him as "your man." The others listened with wide eyes and amused smiles.

“And then Y/N called Reid ‘her man,’” Morgan added, laughing. “From there, it was all over.”

You were starting to feel more and more self-conscious as they recounted the whole night. You tried to defend yourself, your voice growing softer. "It’s not like that... I just... I mean, it wasn’t planned or anything, it just happened."

Spencer, sensing your discomfort, gently took your hand again. "There’s no need to be shy," he said with that soft, reassuring tone that always put you at ease.

Emily smirked, raising an eyebrow. “I know, right? Now she gets so shy about it, but the other night she was ready to throw down at the bar!” The whole team burst into laughter, making you even more flustered.

Feeling like you needed a break from the teasing, you gently let go of Spencer’s hand. “I’m going to the conference room. We’ve got a case to focus on,” you said, retreating to the room where the briefing would take place.

As you left, Spencer continued filling J.J and Rossi in on the rest of your date, telling them how sweet and simple it was—just dinner and a movie, but it was perfect.

A few minutes later, you called out from the conference room, “Guys, Hotch wants us all in here.”

They all looked at you, still grinning and throwing teasing looks your way as they made their way to the room. Despite the light-hearted teasing, you couldn’t help but smile. Your relationship was out in the open now, and it felt good, even if it was a little overwhelming at first. But there was no time to dwell on that now—there was another case to solve, and the team quickly shifted into work mode as the briefing began.

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: SEVENTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

I’m writing this as I watch the episodes for the second time.

Ah, I don’t want this to end! It feels like these 6 weeks flew by. 

Jungkook feeling hot in a cold place is so me. 

Jimin looks great with his natural hair colour. I like Jimin’s grey hair, but his natural colour will always be superior, especially with the length he had in this episode. 

Jimin and Jungkook trying to remember if Jimin had ever gone snowboarding with Jungkook before is funny because they were really trying to figure out if it was true, but at the same time, it shows just how many things they’ve done together that it’s natural for them to think snowboarding might have been one of them. 

Jungkook’s look of confusion when Jimin said he’d actually gone snowboarding with Jungkook’s friends, without Jungkook, is also funny. But also, Jimin went snowboarding with Jungkook’s friends—without Jungkook? And it's worth noting Jimin said “Jungkook’s friends”, not “our friends”. We know Jimin is close with several, if not all, of the 97-line members, but it’s nice to know they’re close enough to hang out without Jungkook. If Jimin was talking about those friends, of course.

I don’t know, but something tells me Jimin really likes ‘Standing Next to You’. Though I can’t be sure.  I also can’t be sure, but I have a hunch that Jimin really likes the song ‘Hate You’. Just a feeling. 

I don’t think there’s been an episode where I haven’t mentioned that Jungkook’s biggest ship is with food, hahaha. Why is Jimin always looking for Jungkook in supermarkets? Hahahaha. 

Jungkook being a bit baffled about why Jimin was listening to one of his best songs is honestly offensive, hahaha. Jimin’s slightly defensive reply about whether there was a problem with him listening to the song, and Jungkook’s equally defensive response just wanting to know why he was listening to it, is peak Jikook comedy. 

Look, I think every Jikooker out there has said a thousand times that the world needs an official song from Jimin and Jungkook. But seriously, the world needs an official song from Jimin and Jungkook. Their voices blend so well together. Their harmonisation is glorious, and their voices are differently similar—if that makes sense. They really should record a song or even an album together. 

That hotel is incredible. Someone invited me there. I love hearing Jimin and Jungkook speak in satoori. Honestly, that hotel room is amazing. It looks like an apartment. I can’t even imagine how much a night there costs. It’s moments like these that remind me that these guys are millionaires and their agency has loads of money too, haha. 

Of course, Jungkook cut his own hair. Of course, he did. That’s so Jungkook. Jin would be proud too, hahaha. The staff taking photos of Jungkook because he looked cute with his new haircut is just too cute, haha. In the photo the staffer took, Jungkook looked super young! The power of the bowl cut, hahaha. 

Okay but Jimin’s luck… something always seems to happen to him at every location on this show, hahaha. 

Was Jimin really the loser of that game considering he initially wanted to eat the gimbap? Also, when did Jungkook lose a game that he had to take a bite of the gimbap? 

ohh, didn’t Jungkook say in Connecticut that he wanted to play card games when they went to Jeju but they didn’t? Is that why he bought the stack of cards? I choose to believe that’s the reason. 

And then we get to them and their first… bath together. Jungkook started by asking if they were going to bathe there, and Jimin then said they should turn off the camera, which makes sense, but then, did they bathe together? I mean, actually, wash with soap and everything? Interesting. The camera is turned on who knows how many minutes or hours later, and you can see other products or bottles that weren’t there initially, as well as what I presume is a sweater...? After that, it’s just Jimin and Jungkook being Jimin and Jungkook. Those two are hilariously weird in the best possible way. 

Have I ever told you how much I love Jimin’s tattoos? Especially the ones on his back. 

Ah, Jungkook making sure Jimin felt the same cold breeze as him is just too cute. 

Look, I’ve seen a lot of people describe what happened in that bath—or whatever it was—as Jimin and Jungkook matching each other’s freak, but honestly, I’d describe it as men being men. It’s moments like these that remind me they’re just guys, hahaha. Only a guy would put themselves through that kind of torture for no reason. Yes, yes, I know there are supposed benefits to cold baths, but come on, they didn’t really need to do that. 

Okay, so apparently Jimin told Jungkook to hug him once so he could feel how cold it was. My question is, was that necessary? 

THE V! JIMIN’S V LINES! Oh my god. The V, the tattoos, the blonde hair. The man is the complete package. 

Seriously, guys. Men! 

Jungkook’s body is… WOW. He’s got a swimmer’s body. He’s muscular, low on fat, and still looks slim. With a very slim and enviable waist. It’s not fair. The guy has too many attributes already, hahaha. Jimin is a lighter version of Jungkook, but he also has muscles and those V lines—definitely worth mentioning. 

I don’t know if the staff could hear them, but what they “imagined” those guys were saying in the sauna seems pretty accurate, haha. 

Hey, Jimin said when they left the sauna that they should wash up before going to dinner, but didn’t they already do that when they turned off the cameras? I don’t understand.

Jimin and Jungkook suddenly trying to do the ‘Dynamite’ choreography makes total sense. It's Jikook after all.

Going to dinner in your pyjamas is the dream, hahaha. They really have the same sense of humour. They laugh at the tiniest things the other does, and you can tell they genuinely find it funny.

 Jimin and Jungkook basically travelled to three different places just to eat. There’s no better way to spend the agency’s money, hahaha. Good for them.

Something I’m still not sure about is whether Jungkook loved being in Sapporo. I don’t know, it didn’t seem like he mentioned it much in these two episodes. Let’s hope it’s clearer in the last one.

Maybe it’s just my imagination, but did Jimin drop a hint to Jungkook about giving him a massage, or did I put on my tinhat and miss it?

Jimin and Jungkook must be unbearable in private. Seriously, that’s something I’d love to see, them with their friends, without cameras. What are they like?

Okay, so Jimin first said he needed to brush his teeth, and then we see Jungkook with a toothbrush in his mouth saying ‘Come brush my teeth with me’. Did he say that to the camera, I mean, to us? But then suddenly Jimin appears. Where was he, on the floor? Jimin and I share the same level of laziness when it comes to getting something, Hahaha. Taking a photo together while brushing their teeth. Okay. They really kept memories of everything.

Washing up again?! Didn’t they already do that? Twice, apparently?! How could Jungkook forget that in a matter of hours, I’m sure?!

Aww, Jungkook saying goodnight to the cameras is just too cute. They’re such good boys. I remember in the last episode, Jimin mentioned that Jungkook has the ability to annoy people or something like that, and no one knows it better than Jimin. It’s incredible how patient he can be with Jungkook, hahaha. Of course, Jimin isn’t a saint either, because he can also annoy Jungkook at times. They really click.

Jungkook feeling hot in a cold place is so me. He’s my spirit animal, haha. And him looking for something to eat right after waking up is a MOOD.

Okay, but was Jimin fighting with some insect in the bathroom? Hahaha. Jungkook continuing to eat as if nothing’s happening is a mood.

Mmmm, did they shower together again? Interesting. Jungkook’s priority was definitely the food he bought and couldn’t eat.

Was that whole conversation about being excited correct? I mean, the translation, and if it was, why did it seem like they were talking about something else? Why do many of the things they say seem like they’re talking about something different? Why are they like this? Jimin and Jungkook bickering in the sweetest, funniest way has been one of my favourite things about the show.

Model Jimin! Jimin looked particularly stunning in the car on the way to the slopes.

There’s a popular edit of Jimin that says he doesn’t hold or grab things, he hugs them. I think the edit is mainly about Jimin hugging flower bouquets, but I think it applies to everything, including snowboards, hahaha. He’s just too cute.

I think, I think Jungkook was happy about going snowboarding, I think, I’m not entirely sure.

The juxtaposition of Jimin and Jungkook learning to snowboard and ski is just too funny.

It’s good to know Jimin doesn’t discriminate about the ground he falls on, hahaha. Jungkook really just needs a short time to learn something. Honestly, it’s unfair. Jimin is also excellent at picking things up quickly. That also seems unfair.

MY CONCLUSIONS ON THE SEVENTH EPISODE.

I loved it! Not surprisingly.

I know I’ve repeated this a lot, but I love the format of this show. It’s more relaxed. More chill with the vibe and nothing else. It’s much more domestic, more every day in a way. I know I’ve said this a lot in all my posts, but I love how relaxed Jimin and Jungkook are. I love that, even though they were technically working, they were actually relaxing. They were on a proper holiday because it felt like a normal holiday, with no pressure or expectations, just playing, enjoying cool activities, and eating. Eating a lot.

I love and especially appreciate that AYS has shown us a slightly different side of Jimin and Jungkook’s dynamic. More playful and even more every day, I think. It’s lovely to see how comfortable they are with each other, and even though they didn’t go into depth about it and probably won’t in the future, you understand why they chose to enlist together. They really get each other. They’re really similar. And that’s important.

I really love that they managed to do so many things on this show. That they had multiple holidays and, most of all, that they had them in the middle of their busy schedules. I’m glad they had those moments to laugh, enjoy, and just be happy. And I’m glad they created all those memories together.

I can’t wait for the last episode, but at the same time, I don’t want next Thursday to come because it will mean it’s all over and, like them, we’ll only have the memories we made watching them create their own memories.

As a fan, not only of Jikook but of Jimin and Jungkook, I’m infinitely grateful to them for doing this for us. I’m sure they deserve the sky and the stars; it’s the least the sun and the moon deserve, after all.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry and thank you—I just couldn’t stop writing ajajajajaja.

[maodear]

MIZISUA deep analysis 🛸

ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ. ᴍʏ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ 🪐

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Okay, so not much warning in this one but

TW: mentions of death, spoilers if you haven’t watched the first stage.

I love MiziSua, and tried my best here. Sua dies way too early..Hope you enjoy reading this :)

ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ. ᴍʏ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ 🪐

MiziSua is probably the most saddest ship in Alien stage, in my opinion. Since not like the others… they actually did love each other deeply. Sua was Mizi’s World & Universe. Her God. And Mizi was Sua’s World and Universe.

Mizi helped Sua learn what Love is. Since Sua was never exposed to anything sweet or positive in her life. Sua was exposed to the true taste of the world from young. She was nothing but a doll, an emotionless doll. But when Mizi came in her life. It all changed, Sua learned how to smile, how to giggle and most importantly what Love means.

Mizi from the start had a positive life. She had the most normal childhood from the start, with love. But Sua taught Mizi what God means. How Mizi says in round 1. She explained how God was viewed as someone who is higher than others, and they know the answers to things not humans can figure out. She calling Sua her god means that she believes that Sua is above her. Sua is the key to her life, her savior in her eyes. Even so calling Sua her Universe.

These two had an undying love for each other. That was so special, and deep. It’s hard to put into words how deep they love each other.

ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴀʙʏꜱꜱ. ʏᴏᴜ ʙʟᴏᴏᴍ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀ🌺

“Oh my clematis” lyrics go DEEP. Which I will explain the most important ones ♥️

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

“ Oh, my Clematis, Hope bloomed through the abyss “

When I hear the word Abyss. It brings me back to the MIZISUA video Vivinos. When Sua and Mizi first met each other. It was a black abyss. But for Sua, Mizi is a light of hope. A reason to love.

“ Oh my Clematis, always stay by my side “

Mizi says to Sua. Wanting her to always stay by her side..

(This is so sweet omg…)

“You bloomed from the Huge black wall..”

Like I said before, I believe that this song goes back to when they first met. Which is why they treasure this song. Going back to when they find each other.

(Another one which I find very interesting)

“ Even if I fall asleep in infinity. Please don’t leave my side “

Mizi sings the start of “even if I fall asleep in infinity.” Which Sua finishes “ Please don’t leave my side.” Which i think resembles her death. Yes I do believe so. Sua hoping that Mizi will forever be by her side. Even in death.

“ Oh my clematis “ is a song that resembles when they meet. In the Abyss (when they are transported to Anakt Garden.”) giving each other life. Which Sua does until her death.

ᴡʜʏ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪᴛ ʏᴏᴜ..? ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ…?? ᴍʏ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ..🪐

When Mizi and Sua do the cover of Cure. It’s much more affectionate and soft. Ivan does higher vocals to Till. But Sua and Mizi. They sing to each other with the love they have for each other. They cling onto each other, not wanting to let go.

When Till and Ivan do Cure. Ivan has to yell at Till. For he can realize what Ivan has always felt for him. Their love is cursed. Because it won’t ever be enough. Ivan won’t match with Tills love for Mizi. Not in this universe.

But Mizi and Sua. They sang together, sharing pain. Clinging on to each other. Sua sings to Mizi soft. Mizi also sings soft. They know what they mean to each other.. they know what they truly want. Even in moments of death, they will always be together in it. Caressing each other. Because they love each other.

ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʙᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ᴄʟᴇᴍᴀᴛɪꜱ🌺

Mizi and Sua.. omg. I wish we had more of them. But I do believe that more will come out. Since Sua is such a big impact to Mizi.

(All the art I have featured isn’t mine!!)

Thanks for reading ♥️

If you liked this, please read my IvanTill analysis that will be linked here. Hyuluka is next so please give me some time,♥️

LINK

[aurae-rori]

children of the city ; a dr. ratio analysis

Dedicated to all the people in my inbox going, "WHAT IS A CHILDREN OF THE CITY AND WHY IS IT DR. RATIOCORE?!" I will now be pointing all of you to this post, because it's easier to access and find.

If you are finding this out in the wild, greetings. I am Aurae, one of the many Dr. Ratio Analyzers (shoutout to my other homies who are doing the work of the aeons and clearing the misinfo and slander to my boy's name). I am here to tell you why the song "Children of the City" by Mili is Dr. Ratiocore.

It's time to deconstruct my boy like the puppets that you see on tv, who find comfort in the strings. (if you know, you know.)

"Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day And then drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play Only eat, or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands"

I'm totally not projecting my gifted child trauma here, nuh uh... Anyway, my personal HC for Ratio is that his child might have felt monotonous being in classes that he was already too "intelligent" for. Learning things at a quicker pace than other children, absorbing knowledge up like a sponge - sure, the praise is nice, but after awhile, especially when you get to higher levels, intelligence isn't enough to carry you. You have to put diligence, effort, blood sweat and tears into what you're studying for, especially if you want to make a change, like how Dr. Ratio wanted to. It. must have gotten lonely, getting up only to do more researcher, eating only to go back to work. Following a schedule is wonderful, and he would have enjoyed the routine, but after being isolated from other people along with that, it might have made him feel subhuman or less than human for only being there for the studying of more knowledge. Eat, study, work, repeat. This is more of a personal HC rather than something canon, though. :)

"By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride Bonus if brunette In 90 hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque"

I feel like the prospect of romance is pushed onto children at a very young age - and that can be applied to Dr. Ratio. Who knows what romantic beliefs that he grew with? However, I believe this is less of him observing himself, but more of him seeing what the education system does to others, and how society molds others into the person that they "should" be, rather than what they want to be. Also, it could be a reference to academic trauma and placing all your self worth in your grades.

"Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah) Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in the city's night"

This is how I see Dr. Ratio holding a grudge against the Aeons and other figures of authority. We are all expected to be "good" and "well-behaved", and yet, we all look to the "city's night" - the approval of those who are in a higher position of us. We want to gain the approval and the praise of our parents, of our teachers - it's natural, after. We want to be included in the "city's night" - in Dr. Ratio's case, the gaze of Nous. He wants to be acknowledged by Nous and let into the Genius Society because his beliefs that were instilled into him as a child dictate that since he is hailed as a genius, he should be seen as one by the Aeons, right? However, I'd like to point out the usage of the words "neon stars" - stars are not neon. This implies that the stars are fake - I can also see this as a pointer to the idea of there system itself being fake, or societal "norms" being fake, as we are all unique.

"In four hundred thousand meters, turn right

Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy"

Dr. Ratio following orders until he doesn't. Fitting in until he gives up on it. Setting himself free from the chains of what is expected from him of other people, but not by the Aeons - no, that's something that still stays with him. However, I like to interpret the idea of a "familiar warm body" being his own childhood - killing the child that you used to be in favour of facing the future. Coffee is also something commonly regarded as students or workers using it to keep awake during long periods of work and study - it talks about how he has known to fight for himself, or fight for what he wants, before he was told to suck it up and just work for the sake of others, for the sake of the authority. However, this might feel scripted to him as well, with the mention of a "proxy" - it was a decision someone else made for him, maybe? Who knows? Maybe his selflessness was originally chosen by someone else, and drilled into him?

"As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand We had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable being Who I considered worthless"

This is definitely expanding on the idea of being raised to just be used by the authorities. Also, this can also be a representation of the way that he calls himself "mundane" - he was called a genius and raised as one, and now that Nous has not seen him, he must be "mundane" and he must come to terms that he is exactly what he wasn't called growing up. None of their words of praise have any meaning any more, because in the all seeing gaze of an Aeon, he is nothing.

"Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (the reason why) The sufferings never end"

As Dr. Ratio uncovers the truth of his childhood and the truth of why he was raised this way, the empathy that he has suppressed comes back up. And this is it - because he feels for others, because he is so incredibly human, that is the reason why his suffering does not end. He cannot detach himself like other people, like other geniuses, and treat life with little to no care. He cannot, because he loves, and that is his fatal flaw. He listens to his heart, as well as his mind, and that does not make him a genius in the eyes of an Aeon.

"Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E. 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762"

"E" is a mathematical constant, and therefore is logical. It's called the base of a natural logarithm, and while my knowledge in that area is limited, the fact that it is called a "constant" means that it cannot change, just like all numbers cannot. It might be a representation of the idea of Dr. Ratio trying again to fit in with others, only to fail once more, even though he knows all the rules. He was simply born in a different way, doomed from the start. It wasn't his fault.

He was just human.

You can also see this as Dr. Ratio observing the world as he grows up in an "apathetic" and "detached" way - as he pushes down his own emotions in favour of staring at his own success to help others, knowing that his empathy will not get him anywhere in terms of a cruel world. However, he cannot help it.

Ultimately, "Children of the City" is about how we are raised in a society that forces the idea of work on us ever since we are young. We do not get to cherish our childhoods nor our youth, and are immediately turned to the prospect of how we can provide value to society. We are raised in a never ending cycle like machines, to be puppets to corporations, to be slaves by the desire of the majority, to never have free will of our own.