#too unsteady

[mr-tellmeafuckingsecret]

Anyone else feel like a spare tire type of person?

You're put in the back, hidden, until you're the only option. When everything's fucked, you are there to help someone in the worst moment.

You are a replacement. Maybe a friendship fell apart, someone is grieving a death, someone broke up. You fill that void for a short time. You fill that role until you're no longer needed. They found someone else more stable, reliable, someone that fit better.

You sit in the back of everything, neglected and ignored. Until there is a void. A missing person.

It's not like you want to be a replacement - weasel your way into someone's life - you're just who people keep spare just in case something goes wrong.

You're shoved in place, forced to stay there, getting through the burden the last person left, shouldering the weight. Then you're discarded, replaced.

You're not good enough to be permanent, you're only good as a temporary replacement. You're worn, you've lost your grip, you're rusting and falling apart, yet it happens over again.

Someone leaves a void. You are forced to fit that void. You are discarded, hidden again until you are needed. Someone else leaves.

You're stuck.

[hidden-havven]

1 life left sure hope nothing bad happens to them..

plus more doodles (cw: blood (not very graphical))

g e g g i s l o v e g e g g i s l i f e

[tippenfunkaport]

Why is your chipped Glimmer AU called Intermittent Glow? Sorry if it's obvious I just don't get it

Oh, haha, well, you see...

I was thinking about how so much of the literal definition of the word "glimmer" is based off of this idea of light that is feeble, faint, unsteady, indistinct, etc.

And it in the context of Glimmer being chipped, where Prime's magnifying her usual insecurities and has messed with her sense of self, left her usual sparkle a little unsteady, it just worked well, thematically, with the story I wanted to tell. (And then, obviously, I swapped "glow" for "light" when I realized I was posting it for Glimbow Week because some people use glow that as an alternate Glimbow ship name.)

[rainintheevening]

Caspian IX & Caspian X

There was a time / I used to look into my father's eyes / In a happy home / I was a king, I had a golden throne / Those days are gone ... I remember how it all changed / My father said / Don't you worry, don't you worry child / See Heaven's got a plan for you /Don't you worry / Don't you worry now

- 'Don't You Worry Child' cover by Kurt Schneider & Sam Tsui

For @an-angels-fury because this song has been making me feel things.

[doppelneer]

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh remember this wip?

I have finished it and I was right it is more disturbing...

Here is a bunch of trigger warnings just in case. (Full page + close up images below)

Tw: body horror, melting, drowning, violence, implied death, worms, and maybe a little trypophobia???

This page took forever but I think it was worth it.

Doppelneer spying on Cannoneer. First thing that was drawn on the page.

Something is at the end of a hall

Glimpse of WYRM. (Reason for trypophobia warning)

Relating to a bad ending (Also can't unsee Arthur shaking fist meme)

Drowning again... but the bubbles were fun to add

Both of these are part of another potential bad ending idea... it's the worst one my brain has come up with so far. The last image here took the longest, tbh. Melting be difficult but fun. Kinda blends together and hard to make out what is going on but that was intentional.

Here is a lil update, I guess.

I think I'm going to take a lil break from the horror for a bit after this... Focus on some more light hearted stuff and details to balance things out for me. Also been working on a document of sorts to get my ideas out, brain storm, and keep track of head canon's for the AU / Abyss crew. Idk if I will ever share that quite yet but we shall see... that's about it but wanted to say if you like what I have been doing so far for this project, thanks. It means alot that people care even if only a Lil or just passing by... and seeing what people say in the reblogs brings me joy. ^^

[ofyorkshire]

i have no idea how to get there organically, and i've started and deleted various open starters trying to get to that point bc it just felt incorrect having it happen out of the blue, but. i really think it would be nice to one day have bj be told, or realize, that he isn't broken or made wrong.

even post-canon when he's free and living happier and healthier, finding his footing, he lives thinking he's a broken thing. because he has a complicated sense of gender identity and sexuality, and complicated emotions and responses to intimacy, and, oh, the almost brainwashed into him idea that his hurt is punishment, it's penance, it's "deserved". that some people, anyone, "deserves" this or "deserves" that, good and bad.

idk. it would hurt and i don't think he would believe them after 1 example, i think he'd actually be kind of resistant to it in the flighty way he can be, but it would be nice for someone to tell him he's not broken or unlovable. lost? yeah. more than i think he wants to see, even after he's free, but not broken as in wrong.

[naamahdarling]

.

[sareesnotsorries]

the burden of understanding your mother in a way no one else does

I love her. I hate her. I still flinch when she raises her hand. Her hugs are still one of the greatest comforts to me. She looks at me and sees herself and we shoulder that together. (She hates our broad shoulders.) We stopped saying, I love you. We can talk for hours about nothing. We have gone weeks without properly speaking. We have entire conversations during family gatherings with a single glance. Sometimes it feels like she doesn't even know me. I'm jealous of how gentle she is with my nephew. I wonder if she'll ever want to meet my kid. Sometimes I hate that I know her. I'm her most loyal guard dog. I know she's just trying her best. It's not good enough. It's not good enough. It's not good enough.

I deserve better.

So does she.

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

Can't sleep bc i'm jittery so i'm dropping more Foxglove ramblings. Anyway her most religious trait (asides from mommy issues) is that she genuinely dgaf about money and wealth. She values beauty/aesthetics and a good posture but she couldn't give less of a shit about the price of things + her one good action to the world is that she doesn't mind giving money away with not a single care in the world. And yes it's maybe because she lives in delulu land and believes she's divinely protected from ever running out of what she needs. This makes her extremely hard for Avery to control without violence though

[everyones-story]

iwish i werent so touchy with my eyes it makes makeup hard to put on

[achillean-knight]

THE JOY THAT JUST HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK IS OUGGHG

[remyfire]

Do u ever read other ppls mash fanfiction bc I know u write it and I read it and i am very excited for the updates u have planned and a little afraid but in a good way-- but I have absorbed so much mash fanfiction over the relatively short time ive been in the fandom and do u have any that u read when u want to feel Fucked Up because i have a very specific one that I read (I am not sure yet if yours will go in the category of fuck me up or cheer me up yet bc it isn't done but i assume it will do both)

I do read other people's!! I admit that I mostly will pick a handful of writers, mostly my friends, to follow closely, but that's just because I have really specific things that can fuck me up in a bad way that are difficult for me to avoid in this fandom, oddly! So I don't try new authors often unless it's for a rare ship that I've been the only one creating for or if the fic comes rec'd to me by a friend who knows it won't accidentally trigger me, that kind of thing.

I admittedly mostly read fic for escapism so I don't go digging for things that'll angst the hell out of me. That being said, I will often pick "Headed for a land that's far away" which is a BJ/Hawk by my friend Rosie if I need to feel wrecked. They're both devastating to me in it. "said the joker to the thief" is a Hawk/Mulcahy that ripped my organs out the first time I read it and so now I can only take it in small bursts rather than a full reread haha.

btw I have extremely devastating AND extremely comforting fics planned for STAE, if that's the series you mean, so :D Godspeed

[heedra]

been having a extremely minor not-crisis lately bc im realizing that while i use my left hand for writing and drawing (and absolutely cannot do either with my right had for the life of me), there's a whole bunch of other tasks where i favor my right? like i hold the knife with my right hand when i carve and i'm pretty sure i favor it for other tools as well. fucking me up.

[shyflops]

more like

more like gay knights

[cookies-and-creamless]

Balloon Art Day 2

Day 1 here!

12. Turtle - Veronica

Today I decided to start small! Veronica is very simple, comprised of only six bubbles, but she provides a great excuse for me to try out two techniques I hadn't used before, namely the tulip twist that forms her head and the bird body roll used to fix her shell in place. All in all, I highly recommend this turtle design for beginning balloon artists. She's so cute!

13. Dragonfly - Tina

I followed up that very simple design with by far my most complex piece so far! This one took a lot of effort to get right, and I feel very comfortable calling it a day after only two balloon animals primarily because one was this. She's so big! And she's the only design I've made so far that uses multiple balloons. I had previously been numbering my pieces by how many balloons I had used by the time of their completion, but I guess I'm counting the number of attempted pieces now. I'm very proud of having gotten this one down first try. Some of her bubbles that are supposed to be the same length are a bit different, but I've still just been eyeballing, so that'll happen. Very satisfactory all around!

[ofyorkshire]

also i just know he got the biggest zing of serotonin the first time bet called him "ziggy" skdflksd she's a real one for that

especially since it stuck enough that she just says "yeah, ziggy's waiting on you" to eddie and gets all exasperated when he doesn't know who she's talking about. like who else would it be, dumbo? ziggy!!! how do u not know who ziggy is.

makes me laugh.

anyway. 10/10 i think if bj could throw away "barry" and "bj" and make his own identity, "ziggy" would be a strong contender.