#no pens were harmed in the making of this drawing lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uhgoodmoni · 3 years

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All Art is Worthwhile pt1 | KNJ PJM

Happy Namjoon Day!! (lmao monthsssss later sorry)

Summary: Kim Namjoon is an art student in his final years at his University. He has lost his inspiration but it rekindles when his new neighbor moves in. Park Jimin is beautiful and Namjoon HAS to draw him, so he does. Slowly a guilty conscious forms, Namjoon uncomfortable without knowing his subject. He gains the courage to finally start getting to know him. Jimin is not at all who he seems, and Namjoon has no idea what he’s got himself into.

word count: 9424

!their relationship is for the plot! !these are characters not real representations of bts members!

warnings: UNEDITED, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, blood, depression, major character death?

links: My Other Work

Part One: A Canvas Namjoon presses himself against his front door, cheek smooth against the white paint. His new neighbor was moving in across the way. The last of the boxes were being hauled in by the moving guys. Namjoon himself put all shame away, squinting hard so he could see the boy that was moving in. He had seen him once yesterday, through the window he was wheeling out furniture with the movers as his aid. Namjoon believed that he had to be from out of town. No one but himself and the hired movers helped him get his belongings inside. And yesterday, he stood out on the sidewalk staring down the street for some time. Taking it all in Namjoon supposed.

The last tenant of the apartment across from his had been his best friend Yoongi. This year Yoongi decided not to renew his lease and instead move deeper into Seoul to chase his dreams of becoming a producer. Namjoon was proud of him but hadn’t taken his own leap of faith yet. Instead, he renewed his lease and decided Patreon and his grocery clerk job would suffice for now.

He wondered what kind of person would move in next to him. With the university nearby he was sure it would be someone his age. Which he had been proven correct, or so he assumed. His neighbor- whose name was just neighbor to him now, looked a little younger than Namjoon. Maybe a sophomore or freshman even. Someone from out of the suburbs? Out of the country? Just from seeing him through the peephole or the window, Namjoon couldn’t tell. He held himself confidently. The city? But he dressed unremarkably, the country? Maybe the combination of those two things made him from the suburbs.

Was this weird? Namjoon blinked, moving away from his door. Did this count as stalking? Yes. He stepped a few paces backward. If his neighbor saw him doing this he’d think he was creepy. He’d make dinner, and save the mysteries of the new neighbor when he’d hopefully meet him.

For oh how Namjoon wanted to meet him. He looked approachable, but so much so that Namjoon knew he’d fuck it up. Not so approachable, but only because Namjoon was a coward. Not only did he look approachable, but he was beautiful. He looked like one of the idols Namjoon would see on billboards by the subway- No he was more beautiful than those boys. He glowed, a kindness and softness radiating off of him. The neighbor shook the hand of the movers shyly, bowing and smiling gratefully. His smile drew Namjoon back to the window in his kitchen, He leaned on the pane, looking between the slits of his curtains. The sun was setting, the last of its blue hour peaking between the trees.

His neighbor stood, eyes squinted towards the sun, arms crossed, and waving the drivers off. His hair was layered with highlights, the sun staining the brown with flakes of what might be blonde. Had he dyed his hair before? Maybe he had been an idol before. Namjoon wouldn’t doubt this, it was a popular aspiration now.

The boy stood, letting the sun hit his skin, warming the tones of his cheeks. Namjoon gasped. He could draw this! With a scattered mind he ran his hands around the counter, finding there! A pen and pad of paper. There were several dotted around the apartment. This one’s page was left open with a simple sketch of his window lit by daybreak. A coffee stain was on the page that he had spread around to fill in the curtains, hoping that the mess he had made would become a piece of the art itself. He didn’t end up liking it but wrote a note on the side of the page. Try this again.

He ignored the note now, tilting his head back to see out the window once more. The neighbor was gone. Namjoon sighed, taking the pen to the paper anyways, drawing now out of memory. A highlight there, a shadow there. The neighbor’s lips were extraordinarily plump, Namjoon practicing them a few times on the side. It was hard. And he couldn’t get them right. He tossed the pad down on the counter, unhappy with his work. It didn’t compare to the actual way he remembered it. His features were hard to get exact, without making it look weird, lips too big it was cartoonish, lips too small it didn’t look right. Namjoon would have to play around a little more. Maybe with a more clear vision of what he looked like, after all, he had only seen him through the window and through the fisheye of his peephole.

He was doing it again. He had done it to Yoongi, he had done it to Jungkook and also several other strangers that he had come across since he started his artistic journey. People watching and people drawing. To capture the beauty of human existence. Of life and love. It brought him a lot of joy to feel proud of his drawings of someone. It usually took a couple of tries, but he felt that with his new neighbor it might be a little more challenging. He was so beautiful. How could he ever capture that in one of his drawings?

His phone buzzed, “How many classes are you taking this semester?”

It was Jungkook, someone he had met last semester in an art class. He was a sophomore now, Namjoon a senior. Well, a senior if you were counting years and not credits. He wouldn’t graduate until the fall of the next year.

“3, how about you?”

“Five :( luckyyyy.”

“I guess, I’m in debt too so I think we are both unlucky.”

“At least your classes are fun, isnt that worth the debt?”

“Not if i don’t get a job.” “Tru” and a second notification a little later. Now Namjoon has pulled out a pot on the stove so he can make ramen. “Wanna meet up on campus some time?”

“Yeah i’ll send you my schedule in a little” He put his phone down, focusing on the boiling water. So close yet so far from being finished with his schooling. He sighs, dropping the noodles in the hot water. It is hard being so far from home. Adulting is hard. Art is hard. Life is hard.

His noodles however aren’t as they finish cooking. He adds all the works and sits at his table in the evening light. A small lamp is in the living room, but it’s bright enough to like the whole space. That and the disappearing sun lights the room in a dim way. The shadow of himself paints the wall, chopsticks meeting noodles, noodles meeting mouth. He can make art out of noodles? No, he’ll stick to drawing for now. He really wants to nail getting people right. People are hard. People make life hard.

Yoongi is the easiest person he had ever met. Easy to talk to. Easy to meet up with. Easy to understand (at least in Namjoon’s case). Yoongi is mostly a loner, and when he did live across the hall he stuck to himself. He worked on piece after piece. Song after song. Beat after beat. Namjoon really understood that, after all, he does the same thing. Piece after piece. Canvas after canvas. Stroke after stroke. They are both artists, and so both of them appreciated one another’s art and bonded over that.

But Yoongi has moved away and now Namjoon is by himself again. Sure he can call and text Yoongi, but it isn’t the same. And Jungkook… Well, Jungkook is a whole new ballgame.

Jungkook is the coolest guy. Actually, the coolest person that Namjoon thinks he’s met. The kid has it all. He’s outgoing, athletic, artistic, popular, hot, and has swagger. Namjoon can keep gushing, but Jungkook would only do the same. See what Namjoon admires the most about Jungkook is that he finds something to learn from everyone. Now that is what Namjoon wants, to be able to reflect on himself, and his relationships with others and grow. Another thing about life that’s hard. Existing as yourself.

Namjoon looks at the clock, it’s getting late but his thoughts are becoming existential dread. He pulls out his phone and dials Yoongi. The answer isn’t until after a few rings. “Hey Yoongiii.”

“Ah hi what’s up?” He sounds tired on the other line, nothing unusual though. He was probably up late working on something. Like he does every night.

“Um, how are you adjusting?” Namjoon asks, not really sure what to say even though it was him who had called.

“I still have a couple more boxes to unpack.” He hums. “Been busy.”

Namjoon finishes his ramen, there never is enough. “Are you busy now? I can let you go.”

“Mhmh, no it’s okay. What are you up to?”

Namjoon’s unsure, he doesn’t want to bother him. “You know… the usual just drawing. And also avoiding any actual project.”

“You’ll find something. I’m sure of it. Us artists, we always find something.”

Park Jimin was the neighbor’s name. Namjoon had discovered this and was ecstatic. A pretty name for a pretty person, he thought. He was sketching him again. This time a passing image of him in the hall standing in his doorway. Jimin hadn’t come out of his house since moving in, and it had been a few days now. Namjoon still tried to piece together his memories. Park Jimin. Namjoon wanted to talk to him, wanted to meet him and become friends. He still felt on edge drawing strangers without their knowledge. Maybe if they could become friends the guilt of drawing without the consent of his muse would go away.

Namjoon took a deep breath, taking in his work. He just couldn’t get it right, but this one was much better than the last. He had already started a small pile of sketches. All in the same scenery, or attempts to place a face in a new light.

Park Jimin. He knew his name now. Which was a step in the right direction? Maybe. It was shameful really. He had come to know the boy’s name through his landlord who had called him earlier that day. His landlord was a lazy man and asked Namjoon if he could go over and get Jimin’s information for him, as he hadn’t met him yet.

He was anxious, but at least now he had a reason to go over and talk to him. Yet it still bugged him. Jimin had locked himself away, or so it seemed. Maybe he didn’t want to be bothered? Of course, it had to be Namjoon who his landlord asked.

Now he was pacing in front of his own front door. It was 4 pm. That’s a good time to go knocking right? Namjoon sighed, stopping himself from weathering through the floorboards. He could do it! All he had to do was go across, knock, say hello, and give him the landlord's information. Easy peasy. Easy peasy.

Namjoon reached for his doorknob, slowly turning it open. A hot draft came through the door as he pulled it open. The hallway had a dingy smell to it as there weren’t any windows and the door to the outside was always shut. Still, he took a deep breath of the stagnant air, hoping for it to relieve him. It didn’t but he took a step out anyway. He could muster up the courage, couldn’t he?

Jimin’s door had a silver 209 plated over it that was fading on the edges. Namjoon was 207, almost perfectly across. How did he manage to have the courage to talk to Yoongi, he wondered. He thought fondly of the memory. Yoongi played his music often at night and Namjoon wanted to compliment him. At the time Yoongi had thought he was receiving a noise complaint and profusely apologized. Namjoon smiled. Maybe he could look fondly at this meeting as well.

He raised his hand to knock against the wood of the door, but it opened before he could rap his knuckles on the surface.

Jimin blinked, a soft smile rising on his lips.

Namjoon stepped back, “Oh, hi! Um,”

Jimin’s grin widened, “Hi!”

Namjoon was frozen, he wasn’t expecting him to open the door before he even knocked. But Jimin’s stance was friendly, his lips pressed together in a smile, his eyes expectant of Namjoon’s greeting. Those eyes shined in the fluorescent lighting of the hall, Jimin just looking a little sickly in the lighting, but Namjoon was sure under the sun he would glow.

“Hi!” Namjoon chuckles awkwardly, “I’m your neighbor, in 207.” He pointed behind him, Jimin nodding. “Just- coming to say welcome to the complex.” His voice faltered, but he thought it was good enough.

“Ah, thank you!” He beamed, “I think you’re the first!” he shut the door, locking it, but not looking away from Namjoon. “My name is Park Jimin.”

Namjoon nodded, remembering to introduce himself. “I’m Kim Namjoon! It’s nice to meet you.” He swallowed, looking down the hallway where a neighbor passed by the door. Was his nervousness showing?

“Nice to meet you too.” Jimin’s voice was deeper than Namjoon was expecting, but it was soft just like every feature. He was adorable, really.

Before a silence could strike them Namjoon got right to the point. “Oh well. I was wondering if I could have your number?” He blinks, that was not what he meant to say. The right side of Jimin’s lips curls up into a smirk. Namjoon shakes his head. “Oh, no. That sounded weird.” Which it did, he knew and so did Jimin, exactly what that sounded like. “The landlord called asking for me to get your number…” Which sounded a lot less believable now.

Jimin can’t hold back his smile, almost laughing. “Oh, okay…”

“But I can just give you the landlord's number…” Namjoon sputtered out, hoping to save himself from embarrassment.

“It’s fine. Do you have something to write it down with?” Jimin tilted his head to the side. Making Namjoon blush. He hoped that it wasn’t noticeable as he handed Jimin his phone with the notes open. Jimin tapped it in quickly. “You can keep it too!” He handed Namjoon the phone back, with a pep in his movements. “You know… in case you need anything.” He smiled again, but deeper, causing his eyes to squint shut. “I’m off to class so I’ll catch you later!” “Oh! Um bye.” Namjoon waved, Jimin turning off and hopping out the door. So he goes to the university. Namjoon hadn’t even noticed the tote bag at his side, a few books stuffed inside. Immediately his curiosity sparked. What was Jimin’s major? If he was just guessing he’d think it was artsy just like his own major. He might be a writer… or a singer. Something with class he thought. Even though Jimin wasn’t wearing glasses, Namjoon imagined him with round frames and thought it would be fitting. There was so much Namjoon didn’t know about Jimin. All he knew was that he was his neighbor, went to the university, and was astonishingly handsome. He wanted to know more. What was his coffee order? Did he even drink coffee? What did he want to do with his degree? Rather than ponder it further he went back into his cave. The desk in his room was the best place to create, an orange round light spotlighting the table at which he drew. A condensation ring soaked at the corner of a page he had yet to work on, but he started sketching anyway.

Even if he didn’t know anything about Jimin, he knew he could imagine it. So he drew on: imagining Jimin at the bus stop now, standing with the tote bag in hand. Scrolling through his phone maybe? This time he drew him as a side profile, getting the details in his shirt, his bag, and the dangly earrings he was wearing.

Then he drew Jimin on the bus, trying hard to get his hair parted perfectly. He was looking out the window here, the details not in the blur of what was passing by but in his hair and in the lashes that sat over his cheeks.

Namjoon drew and drew. Wondering what Jimin was really like, and creating a Jimin he thought he could figure out. One, who was his neighbor, used a tote bag to carry his books and wore long sleeves even though it was eighty degrees today. Curious.

Although Namjoon had Jimin’s number in the notes app of his phone, he didn’t call or text. He didn’t even add the contact into his phone. It felt wrong. After all, the number was meant for the landlord, and although Jimin said it was okay Namjoon felt uneasy.

Weeks after finally speaking to him in the hall Namjoon hadn’t seen him again. The back and forth between campus and home had to be keeping him from seeing him. But really it just seemed that Jimin never really left his house. If he did, Namjoon wasn’t around to see it.

Despite having only spoken to him once Namjoon had a dozen sketches of Jimin, or really you could say the idea of Jimin. After all, he didn’t really know him.

“So what have you been working on?” Jungkook asked, cheeks stuffed with extra cheesy, cheesy bread. The question made Namjoon choke on his words. He didn’t really want to tell Jungkook that his recent portfolio was of one person who didn’t even know they were the focus of his art. Namjoon felt uncomfortable even just drawing him, but how could he help it? Jimin was the perfect model. And as much as it bothered him, knowing nothing about Jimin; it helped Namjoon create a character of sorts. It made him feel better if he imagined it wasn’t Jimin anymore. Just a character that happens to look like him.

“Remember how I told you I wanted to start drawing strangers.” He tiptoed over the subject. It’s not like he had to show Jungkook the drawings.

Jungkook licked his lips, nodding enthusiastically. He always showed interest in what Namjoon and Yoongi were up to. He hadn’t yet found his art medium, but he knew that somehow he wanted to feel the same passion that his elders did.

“Well I’ve just been working on that… and you know. School.” Namjoon shrugged, the movie on the screen flickering in his dark apartment.

“Oh, that’s good! Think it’ll become a bigger project?”

This question stumped Namjoon. He wondered how much he could draw Jimin until it got old. Till the inspiration faded and Jimin wasn’t as captivating. It probably wouldn’t become a bigger project. Just something that kept him growing, something he was interested in at the moment. He shrugs in response.

“You’re usually so pumped to talk about it! Is everything okay?” Jungkook asks as he gets up from the couch, setting his plate on the kitchen counter. Their leftover pizza box sat next to it.

“Just worried about my thesis and you know… actually making something worthwhile.”

Jungkook smiles, “All art is worthwhile.” He winked, “I’m going to the bathroom, I'll be back.”

Namjoon reached for the remote. “Want me to pause it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he hollered, the bathroom door closing a moment later. All art is worthwhile… To be honest, Namjoon felt like a stalker. Not that it was his intention really. As long as he didn’t actually start being creepy it was fine. Right? After all, the work he had done so far was mostly things he made up in his brain. Still. If Jimin somehow came across those drawings… Yeah, he’d probably think it was creepy. Maybe Namjoon could just ask. Was that a weird thing to ask? Hey, can I draw you? Yeah kinda weird.

“Yoooo! Joonie, these are really good!” Namjoon’s heart stopped, as he flung himself from his couch.

“Jungkook” He groaned, pushing his way into his room where Jungkook had found his sketches. “Really? This is like my private stuff.” Namjoon shakes his head, it was too late. His Jimin drawings sprawled out over the desk. A dark blush was hitting his cheeks, out of anger and embarrassment.

Jungkook frowned, “I’m sorry Joon… It’s really good stuff though! Who is this? I thought you were drawing strangers but this one person is recurring. A friend I don’t know?” Jungkook flips the lamp on, wide eyes and scanning over a picture of Jimin where the window’s light dots his face, it was Namjoon’s first attempt in color. “These are beautiful…” He gasped, squinting at the details etched into the piece.

“Ah…” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah-”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, a huge grin spreading cheek to cheek. “Oh my god… You like this person!” Jungkook giggled, “You totally do, don’t you?” Namjoon shook his head but knew there was really no point in denying it. “Jungkook… I have a problem.” He admitted. Jungkook cocked his head, ready for Namjoon’s explanation. Which did follow.

“Really, just ask!” Jungkook nodded, piling up the drawings. “If you get consent it’ll make you feel a lot better and then if he says no, then just stop making them.” Namjoon agreed. It made sense. It would make him feel a lot better. It really would. But then if he said no? What then?

If Namjoon was completely honest, he didn’t want to stop drawing Jimin. It was the most he had drawn in months, all because of Jimin. He had finally broken out of an artistic block. Maybe he could make it a bigger project. He could do something with the sketches. Try different mediums. Maybe build a portfolio.

So he set out the next week to try acrylics, a medium he hadn’t touched in years. In an old suitcase he pulled out several old paints, bottles still mostly full. His brushes were in perfect condition, and he of course had canvases. He was clad in his overalls, not minding if they got paint on them. So he gessoed away, setting up the perfect base for his project. While letting the canvas dry he opened up his window, realizing the fumes weren’t the best for his quality of life.

Out his window was the courtyard of their apartment complex. The grass was yellowing in the center of the circle, a few benches and light posts were dotted around the buildings. It wasn’t the nicest, most people took out their dogs to pee on the grass despite the HOA stating for them to go outside of the complex.

But there was Jimin, sitting on one of the benches reading. He was reading. Namjoon smiles softly. So Jimin liked to read? He strained his eyes to see the title but couldn’t even with his glasses. But what was this? Jimin was wearing round eyeglasses.

It was funny really, it was grey out, and the buildings were dirty, the grass untended. But Jimin amongst it all seemed the opposite. His skin was bright, hair combed neatly, and his clothing strikingly coordinated.

An idea. His brush met water for the first time, not giving his gesso any more time to dry, but it didn’t really matter. He started with the garbage. The filth, the trash, the pollution, and the nastiness of the city. It didn’t matter that the gesso blended into the mix, it wasn’t meant to be perfect. It was ugly, and nothing really looked as it was supposed to.

Now at the center was nothing, untouched white paint. Namjoon took a deep breath, now it was time for the hard part. He started with the darkest value, a bench. No. Standing. An outline that had been reoccurring in his art. Slim, hair parted at the middle, a tote bag over the shoulder.

His brush fell into the cup, muddied with the dark paints he had used. He stared over the canvas, glimmering in acrylic. Jimin’s shaggy feathered hair, highlighted in the sun. amongst the alleys and the dumpster. He was glowing. Perhaps Namjoon had succeeded in his goal. To portray the aura that his neighbor was emulating.

That same feeling of guilt crawled back up his throat. This was weird. He should stop this. The urge to rip his painting to pieces filled his mind. But he had completed something! Something he could be proud of! Something beautiful, and something that meant something.

There was no point in asking Jimin. What if he were to say no? What then? Would Namjoon trash this piece? Trash all of the productivity he had had since he moved in and start from square one? It would have been pointless and Jungkook said it himself. All art is worthwhile.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Namjoon took a deep breath before leaving his room, shutting the door behind him. His secret is hidden behind the wall. A secret? Was he to hide his art? He felt shaky as he went towards the door. He felt so wrong, so dirty. What was wrong with him? Did all artists feel so horrible about their works?

He didn’t even look in the peephole, he was so distracted. The door opened to that of the painting, Shaggy feathered hair, but the pretty brown eyes that showed underneath it were looking at Namjoon this time.

“Hey… Namjoon right?”

Namjoon almost fell backward. The guilt and animosity he felt towards himself, and the person who could make that even worse, or go away was here. The question did not feel its way to his tongue, however.

“Uh yeah…” He smiled awkwardly. Why was Jimin here? “What’s up?”

Jimin looked a little uncomfortable, looking back to his door. “Well, you see…” He sighed, “I want to go to one of our school’s basketball games.” He pursed his lips, “And I don’t really know anyone yet.” Jimin shut his eyes, “You do go to the university right?”

Namjoon nodded fervently, “Yeah I do!”

Jimin’s face lit up, “Would you like to go to a game sometime? You could even invite some friends too. I’d love to meet some people!”

Namjoon hadn’t been expecting Jimin to ask him to hang out, let alone knock on his door at all. “I’d love to, um I have some friends that go to games more often than me if you’d like to meet them?”

Jimin smiled, “Awesome. There’s a game tomorrow at eight if you’re interested.”

“Absolutely.”

He was sweating. A clammy nervous wreck. It wasn’t even that special of an event. A university basketball game where so many other people were going to be. Jimin’s attention would likely remain on the court anyway. Jungkook and Yoongi would be there too to help his nerves cool. Maybe Namjoon could relax and even have fun.

Except Jimin and Namjoon were going to be alone for at least a twenty-minute bus ride, and Namjoon wasn’t sure he wouldn’t make a fool of himself in the first two minutes. Neither of them had cars, Namjoon hadn’t gotten his license as he thought it was pointless, truly he was just poor. Jimin had moved in a small rickety car that looked several years too old to be driving. He had told Namjoon it had broken down a couple of days after the move. Yoongi and Jungkook were meeting them there, so the bus was the only option.

Jimin looked as good as he always did, and even though he was only in jeans and a tee-shirt Namjoon couldn’t help but think he looked so handsome. His hair was messy but in an intentional way, and Namjoon couldn’t help but think that Jimin had purposefully tried to be casual, yet stunning.

“I still haven’t gotten used to riding the bus,” Jimin muttered, looking around the crowded area, holding tight to the metal bar that kept him standing. Namjoon clings to the metal too, scared to fall and make himself out to be the clutz his friends say he is.

The bus driver was making it rather difficult for him, the bust jostling him and the other standing passengers. “I don’t think anyone ever gets used to riding the bus.”

Jimin smiled softly, his eyes wandering “There are lots of people around, makes you think about how everyone has a story.”

Namjoon blinked, staring at Jimin, who already seemed so comfortable to be around him. He stood confidently, and already Namjoon was discovering things about him. Things that made him blush. Of course, Jimin was a romantic like that. Peeking into the lives of others because everyone’s life is important, unique. This single comment made Joon relax a little, maybe Jimin was just like him.

“Is our team any good?” Jimin’s attention is brought right back to Namjoon. To be honest, he didn’t know, but he didn’t want Jimin to know that. After all, he was coming to him to find friends and go out on campus. Namjoon would be like his guide. A guide who really never went to many of their school events and instead stayed home.

“Well, in our division yeah… I’m not so sure how many games we’ve won though.” He vaguely remembered Yoongi talking about it. Even though Yoongi didn’t go to the university anymore, he still kept up with his favorite sport.

The bus screeched at a stoplight, Jimin holding fast to the wall. He still smiled, “I hope the game is exciting. That we win, but it’s still a nail-biter you know?” He chuckled, eyes falling into crescent moons.

Namjoon hid his smile, “That would be fun. I think Jungkook prefers it that way too.” he crossed his arms, thinking suddenly of Jungkook. “I think you two will get along!” Which he was sure would be true, Jungkook got along well with everyone. Yoongi however would probably be a little hesitant, as anyone normally would be at meeting a stranger.

“That’s a relief.” Jimin leaned onto the wall, the bus moving a little smoother. “I don’t like to study alone. What’s your major again?”

Namjoon shouldn’t be embarrassed to say, but the words still halt in the back of his throat. “A-an art major.”

Jimin’s face painted nothing but pleasant surprise. “Wow really? That’s amazing!” His face fell a little, “I- I’m an artist too… I just found a good medium… I’m just a little hesitant to finally create.” He huffed, “Art is hard.”

Namjoon was infatuated. Jimin, an artist too? This sounded just like himself. “I haven’t quite found a fitting medium yet, I’ve just started with acrylics-” He remembers what his painting was of. “It’s been good so far, but I’m not settled…”

“Do you use pastels? Jimin asks, which Namjoon hadn’t at least not since high school. “You look like someone who uses pastels.” The bus came to their stop, leaving Namjoon wondering what that meant. A person who looks like they use pastels? A compliment perhaps? Either way, Namjoon was mentally adding them to his shopping list. He’d at least give Jimin the benefit of the doubt and give them a try.

Jimin hopped out of the bus, Namjoon following him out a little slower. “So how long have you been friends with Jungkook and Yoongi?”

“Oh, um I’ve only known Jungkook since the spring, but Yoongi I’ve known since my first semester of college.” Jimin nodded. “I’ve known Yoongi for a long time but they both are my best friends.”

“Well if you get along with them, then I’m sure they are great!” Jimin smiled.

Namjoon stuck his hand in his hoodie pocket, “I’m not really that cool.” It was getting colder every night now. The fall upon them, and winter closing in. Namjoon’s favorite time of year. It was lovely. Now, the light posts of campus lit their way down the leaf-dotted pavement. The dorms were lit up with fairy lights in preparation for the upcoming holidays. “Honestly they are a lot cooler than I am.” he sheepishly admitted

Jimin tilted his head, “Well I’ll just have to judge that myself.” This made Namjoon smile, the bigger auditorium building illuminated behind the University Center. There was a short line of people gathering around the entrance. Namjoon quickly texted his chat with the other two. Wondering if they were already inside or not. Either way, he and Jimin got in line for tickets. Only five dollars for students.

Jimin paid but then turned to Namjoon. “Do you know where anywhere is hiring?” He chuckled awkwardly, “I’m honestly a bit broke.”

Namjoon hadn’t been in the job search for a couple of years. His job at the grocery store across the street had been his one and only constant college career. He knew however that Jungkook had been searching for a job for a while. There was a job fair at the university sometime next week.

“Um, not that I’ve seen lately, but the university is always looking-”

“Hey, Namjoon!” It was Jungkook, standing with Yoongi just at the door of the court. They already had their tickets. Namjoon gave a quick wave before paying his own way in.

The meeting was a little awkward. Yoongi is quiet and soft-spoken. Jimin didn’t seem to mind. And on the opposite spectrum, Jungkook was excited, although Namjoon could tell he was just as nervous.

“So you just moved in right?” Jungkook hummed, Namjoon hiding his annoyance. Jungkook wouldn’t mean to do it but he would one hundred percent expose that Namjoon had already spoken about Jimin. “How do you like the complex?”

Jimin didn’t seem to notice and shrugged, “It’s not bad, just an apartment you know?” Jungkook nodded, except he lived in the dorms instead, it was a little different.

“Where are you originally from?” Jungkook was already dominating the conversation. He had been since they sat down in the bleachers, the game not starting for another few minutes. Namjoon was feeling too shy to talk and Yoongi probably was too. Namjoon was just glad that Jimin seemed comfortable around them.

“I’m from Busan.” He said, causing a brightened expression from Jungkook. He was from Busan as well. So they were off talking about their homes, Namjoon listened intently but started feeling a little detached from the conversation.

“What’s your major?” “In any clubs?” So many questions that Namjoon could have asked too but was a little overwhelmed. He wanted to be involved in the conversation but as soon as he found the words Jungkook had already spoken them.

“Ah, I really am on my own actually.” Namjoon’s attention was drawn back to Jimin. His tone hit a sad octave, but he still had a smile strung up on his face. “My family just isn't in my life so I thought I’d get away from Busan and get an education. Figure out my life.” He shrugs, “I don’t know if such a place is really the best place to find yourself in.”

“Might get even more lost,” Namjoon mumbled, but everyone had heard him. Jimin’s eyes lingered on his, and Namjoon regretted saying it out loud. His cheeks were heated in embarrassment, but Jimin didn’t seem bothered by what he had said. Even though his eyes were on Namjoon they were flashing in thought. And Namjoon wondered what it was exactly that he had sparked in Jimin. He only spoke out of impulse, it was something he thought was true. Such a big city, a big campus. How many people go there to find themselves? Namjoon was one of those thousands of people. Thousands of people hadn’t found anything at all. He looked away after what was too long. A sadness falling over the group, something too deep for such new acquaintances to recover from. But Jungkook tried anyway.

“You might find some new friends or hobbies along the way though.” His voice was too cheery at the mood that had befallen them from Namjoon’s single comment. Namjoon felt guilty, but it wasn’t as though he had lied.

Jimin nodded, a clearly forced smile on his lips. It was awkward now. “Yeah, I hope so.” There was no resolution to the energy between the four of them as the game began. A buzzer rang, the squeaking of shoes echoed in Namjoon’s ears but it was impossible to pay attention to. Despite these obnoxious happenings in the room, Namjoon could only feel the silence that had grown between the group. Yoongi’s eyes flashing to Jungkook who bit the inside of his cheek. Jimin’s eyes had fallen over the court but were absent from the game. His normally vibrant demeanor had become quite melancholy.

Namjoon had sparked something negative in Jimin. Or at least that was what he figured. It was probably insensitive to make that sort of comment. He had after all just admitted to them that he didn’t have any family, and to Joon that he didn’t have any friends either.

During the rest of the game, he felt like shit. Of course, I fucked it up. I should have known I’d say something stupid.

And despite the other’s attempts to return the lighthearted energy from earlier their jokes seemed forced. Jimin’s smile was hiding an undertone. Namjoon regretted even agreeing to hang out with him. If he hadn’t maybe that Jimin wouldn’t see him in a negative light.

“Does anyone want to eat before we head home? Jungkook was the only one who seemed to be trying to fix the situation. Namjoon was sure that he wanted to make a good impression. “We could go to Waffle House?” His eyes were soft and Namjoon could tell he really wanted to go and he wasn’t just saying it to lighten the mood.

Jimin pursed his lips, hesitating. “I- I can’t really afford eating out.” he frowned, but shaking his head, “I really wish I could come but I should probably go home.”

Namjoon desperately wanted to fix his earlier mistake and his mouth opened, saying something his wallet would regret. “I can cover you! Waffle house is reasonable…”

Jungkook nodded, “We can split the bill the rest of us?” He looked to Yoongi for approval who nodded slowly with a soft smile. Jungkook’s joy was returned, and the awkwardness from earlier seemed to be disappearing. Until they looked back at Jimin.

He bit his lip, looking uneasy. “I wouldn’t want to do that to you guys…” His shoulders raised up, tense. “Especially since we just met. I-”

“It’s okay.” Namjoon smiled trying to assure Jimin. “You can help next time.” Jimin swallowed, hesitantly agreeing. So they got in Yoongi’s car together. Jungkook in the passenger. Him winking at Namjoon, who only glared back. He didn’t want to be embarrassed any further.

In the car, Namjoon folded his hands together on his lap. Watching as Jimin buckled himself in. A challenging image. His body folded over, facing him, but his eyes were on the buckle. Both hands are on the seat belt. His eyes were covered in his fringe. Namjoon would attempt to draw this later.

“Thank you,” Jimin said, and repeated several times throughout the car ride. Namjoon didn’t want him to think it was that big of a deal but it didn’t seem that Jimin would feel otherwise. It made Namjoon wonder about what Jimin had disclosed to them. His family and he weren’t close. What happened? He knew his curiosity was getting the better of him. Jimin’s business was Jimin’s business. But he was being more vulnerable than Namjoon had expected.

Namjoon was watching him closely. Jimin tearing through his meal faster than anyone else. And Jungkook was known for inhaling his food. He looked hungry. Namjoon was starting to worry. Was he that financially insecure? Did he have food at home?

Yoongi eyed Namjoon and then turned to Jimin. “Jimin what’s your favorite food?” Jimin raised his eyebrows, he was oblivious to the intent.

He smiled, his mood changed after the meal, “Kimchi Stew… It makes me feel nice,” This made Namjoon smile. “What about you Yoongi?

Yoongi looked happy Namjoon noted. He must like Jimin. Namjoon was again content with how the night was going. They had passed the bump in the road. The conversation was flowing again, but Jungkook’s eyes began to fall between bites.

“We should get out before we annoy the employees,” Namjoon suggested. It was getting late, and Jungkook was falling asleep. Yoongi lived farther away so he probably wanted to get home as well.

Jimin and Namjoon refused the ride home and settled with the bus again. Both of them were tired and happy to be safe in their complex when they arrived.

“Jimin you said you were an artist? What do you want to do?” Namjoon asked, his loopy brain getting the better of him. At this time their neighbors would be annoyed to hear their voices in the hallway.

Jimin shook his head. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough.” This made Namjoon tilt his head. Strong enough? But after a moment of thought, he believed he understood what Jimin meant. They reached their doors. 207. 209. The green glow of the hallway and the flickering of the fluorescent light tinged them in awful darkness. Namjoon was staring at Jimin with little self-control now. He had learned so much.

Jimin was not as happy of a person as Namjoon had originally believed. That character in his painting, the one in the sketches. Was falling apart. It was not the truth. Jimin was not glowing, and still, Namjoon only had seen a peak of what Jimin had to offer. What more was there to uncover? Under that shine and glow, was a green peeling wallpaper, lit only by a light that the carcasses of moths had piled in. Namjoon was gathering those ideas. Ideas in high contrast to the ones from before.

“I don’t think it would be worthwhile for me to try. I don’t think it would change anything.” Jimin’s lip twitched. He wasn’t looking at Namjoon, instead the floor. At this point, Namjoon wasn’t sure what Jimin was talking about. But what Jungkook had said to him before came to mind.

“All art is worthwhile,” Namjoon said softly, and Jimin’s eyes lifted to meet his. “I promise you can do it.” Jimin’s eyes immediately fell again, but the slightest smile was on his lips.

“We’ll see.” Jimin glanced up a final time, not even saying goodbye before shutting his door. Namjoon was confused, left standing in that dark hallway, savoring the end of the night. He could not sleep. He wouldn’t let himself. The image was clearly there. It had to be done. His fingers worked all night and through the morning. He didn’t let the cramps stop him, nor the pull of his eyelids. This was what Namjoon wanted.

In the end, the morning light beginning to creep through his blinds. Unfitting for the image sat in front of him. That same tinge of green. A cigarette ash texture to the page. Jimin’s eyes glaring up to the viewer, red and strained, his face thin and pale. An image of what Namjoon imagined might be inside. A zombie on the page, yet still so beautiful. He was broken. Tinged with the stain of that horrible garbage. Was this the real Jimin?

His neighbor disappeared again. Namjoon was sure now that Jimin didn’t like him. So much so that he didn’t even want to run into him in the hall. After he drew the ghostly image of Jimin that night, the urge to fess up to his secret pleasures in drawing him were bubbling up to the surface.

He had rehearsed it in his head several times but nothing sounded right. It didn’t make sense to even tell Jimin at this point. Namjoon eventually settled on giving up on his art venture. For a few weeks he didn’t even think about drawing Jimin. No painting, no sketching, no molding.

The last drawing stained his mind. Not just the painting but also the image.

“We’ll see”

Namjoon felt sick during those weeks. He assumed it was the guilt that made him feel this way. That and the embarrassment over the things he had said. He found himself shutting himself in his house too

The second week Namjoon smoked a cigarette for the first time, his classmate in one of his classes offered and nothing made him want to say no.

He took the first drag, the chemicals and glass filing his throat, but that illness he felt disappeared. He felt clear headed, and after a couple more drags he was able to handle it without choking. His classmate laughed, but gave Namjoon a couple more cigarettes to stash in his pocket. Namjoon was sick of feeling sick.

Now he stared at them in his hand. They were cheap, he found out. Shitty flavor and shitty ingredients. But they were cigarettes so what did that matter? They were all cheap, all shitty. Either way, he didn’t have a lighter. So he stared at them in his hand.

“Need a light?”

Namjoon hadn’t even heard Jimin’s door open. Or heard his steps. But there he was, hands in pockets, his eyes on the two rolls in Namjoon’s hand. Namjoon almost choked on the smoke that wasn’t there. Jimin looked different, he looked at Namjoon with a slick grin, his eyes shadowed by his hair, his pupils small. He had soaked up that image of charcoal on paper.

“I didn’t think you smoked.” Jimin said, pulling out a green lighter from his pocket. Namjoon didn’t reply, only hesitantly taking the lighter. He didn’t want to lie, nor tell the truth.

A flicker of orange and then blackened paper. A stream of smoke floating between them. Namjoon was not sure whether the building was even smoker friendly. It probably wasn’t. He took a small drag. He didn’t want to choke in front of Jimin. He swallowed the itch in his throat well but not well enough.

“So you don’t then.” Jimin said smugly, leaning over onto Namjoon’s wall, pulling out a pack of his own. Namjoon watched him carefully. Jimin placed the puff between his lips. He rolled his eyes up to Joon’s with a pout. “Care to light me?”

Namjoon fumbled with the lighter. Flicking it over the cigarette, it lighting just as quickly. Jimin took a longer, more experienced drag. Namjoon could never have guessed that Jimin was a smoker. He didn’t ever have that sort of smell, but maybe he only did it occasionally.

“I just started.” Namjoon admitted, taking a deep breath. The coolness in his throat chilled his mind. It did seem to calm him.

Jimin pressed his head against the wall, watching the smoke twirl. Their smoke surrounded them, the hallway not circulating fresh air. Namjoon felt like he couldn’t breathe but that felt better than breathing. “Well don’t start.” He left his tongue to linger on his upper lip, eyebrows raised. “Didn’t you know it’s bad for you?”

Namjoon shook his head, watching ashes fall to the dingy carpet. A fire hazard, one that they’d be charged for if anything happened. “Aren’t most things bad for you?”

Jimin smiled. “You’ve got it.” He sort of slurred, his back shuffling against the wall. It made Namjoon wonder if he had been drinking. Jimin took another hefty breath through his cig. Jimin was clearly the more experienced smoker. How did he do that?

“How’s school?” The question seemed too casual once Namjoon had asked it.

Jimin shrugged, “It’s school.” He flicked the cigarette without any care where the ashes went. He shut his eyes and then turned to Namjoon, eyes glossy. “How about you though? Any cool art projects?”

Namjoon thought of the cold image he had last worked on. He shuddered, the stare of Jimin still in the back of his mind. It was a single moment so different from the rest he had been in Jimin's presence. And the drawing mirrored it hauntingly. He passed it in his study the night before, it didn’t even look like Jimin anymore. At least not the one he first saw standing in the light of the setting sun.

Namjoon took a longer drag. His chest rising and filling with the concoction. He felt brave. The smoke puffed from his lips, “Jimin. Could I draw you?” Jimin blinked. Namjoon took in another drag, trying to ignore the regret he was feeling. Could I draw you? Idiot.

Jimin lifted his boot, putting out the cigarette on the sole of his shoe. “You know it’s against the lease to smoke in here right?” Namjoon examined the butt of his, it was only barely half gone. But copied Jimin, who watched him do so.

“Hopefully no one will ever find out.” Namjoon muttered, sticking his hands in his pocket. And very aware of Jimin ignoring his question. But maybe it was weird for him to ask, they weren’t very close after all. Namjoon was ready to go inside his apartment but Jimin grabbed his sleeve.

“Yes Namjoon.” He smiled, that soft smile from before returning. “You can draw me.” His eyes fell into a squint, chuckling. “What, do you need me to model or something?”

Namjoon couldn’t help himself from blushing. Imagining Jimin modeling for him. He shook his head though. He really just wanted that long awaited permission.

“Because we can make it a hang out… Or something.” Jimin shrugged, pouting. “If that’s what you wanted.”

Namjoon swallowed, Jimin making him increasingly nervous. Namjoon hadn’t had a model in a while. And when he did it was in a class where that model was everyone's model. It was still intimate even then. Namjoon could only imagine how awkward it would be with Jimin.

“Yeah- uh whenever you aren’t busy.” Namjoon pursed his lips. He was unsure about the thought of drawing Jimin with Jimin watching him. He’d probably just blow him off. Now he had what he wanted. Maybe that guilty conscience would disappear.

“Well you can just say no you know.” He huffed, Namjoon not realizing it would hurt his feelings.

“No- I… I do…”

Jimin smirked, “Relax, I'm only teasing.” He hummed. “Are you busy now?” Namjoon felt his heart skip a beat. Teasing? Now? Jimin didn’t take his eyes away from Namjoon’s.

“Like you want me to draw you right now?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Jimin tapped the tip of his shoe on the carpet, waiting for an answer. “Mhmh?”

Namjoon ran his hand back through his hair. “Y-yeah I suppose. I could get my sketchbook?” Jimin leaned over Namjoon’s door.

“We aren’t going to go inside?” Jimin’s eyes drooped like a child begging for candy. Namjoon wanted to say no. He didn’t want Jimin to get that side of him yet. He certainly couldn’t see his studio.

“Yeah, It’s a bit of a mess.” His keys jingled from his pocket as he went to unlock his door. “Sorry.”

“I’m sure it’s not too bad.” Jimin assured him. “Mine is probably messier.” The door was pushed open and Namjoon cringed. His ramen bowl from last night was still on the table. He hadn’t wiped things down in a while. It certainly had a stagnant smell of something. Something even he couldn’t place. Jimin followed him in, the door shutting after him.

“It's not that bad.” Jimin patted Namjoon’s shoulder. “It’s just a college kid’s dorm.”

Namjoon looked over at Jimin, his studio door was shut. He didn’t have to worry about that. Jimin was studying the room around them. He smiled seeing his notepads scattered around the room.

“So.” His eyelashes floated just above his pupil. “Where would you like me?”

Namjoon takes in a shaky breath. Was Jimin doing this on purpose? Surely he imagined that sultry gaze. The teasing was friendly, and nothing more.

“The couch is fine.” He gestures to it, luckily there was nothing in the way. Jimin found his way to the couch while Namjoon hurriedly picked up the clutter, only barely remembering to grab a sketchpad on his way back around. He sits down next to Jimin, on the opposite end. Not wanting to get too close.

“What do you want me to do?” Jimin tilted his head. Smirking.

Namjoon chuckled, looking away from Jimin and down at his paper. His pencil sat on the page, and he didn’t have the urge to pick it up. “Don’t you think this is a little awkward?”

Jimin giggled, “Well sure.” He scooted over closer to Namjoon. “But does that really matter?” he folds his feet under his legs, criss cross.

Namjoon was beginning to realize it was hard to avoid Jimin’s eyes. Jimin was shorter than him and had the tendency to pull others' attention. So Namjoon naturally found himself looking down at Jimin.

“Is it really awkward, or are you just nervous?” Jimin raised a brow. He doesn’t give Namjoon time to answer, let alone digest what he just said. His hand ghosted over Namjoon’s knee. “Both.” Jimin answered for him, cocking his head to the side.

“Yeah both.” Namjoon stuttered, avoiding Jimin’s gaze.

“Cute.” Jimin sat back, Namjoon looking back up to see him smirking devilishly. “So you gonna draw me?”

Namjoon nodded, taking up the pencil and the paper more seriously now. He was embarrassed, and couldn’t focus. He didn’t even know where to start. His eyes trailed over Jimin but immediately would dart back to his page when he found that Jimin was looking right at him. However his body moved out of habit and the outline of Jimin’s lips began. His sketch prompted a huff from the other boy.

“Is that what you’re thinking about?” Jimin’s eyes were soft.

“I-” Namjoon took a short breath through his nose.

“I’m teasing you.” Jimin reminded him, but Namjoon was aware. It was very distracting, still he sketched on, and Jimin remained somewhat still for him. The silence was painful and Namjoon wished he had put on music, or the tv or anything. But it was only them and their breathing, the scratch of the graphite.

“You’re really good.” Jimin said softly, his eyes trained on the paper. He was examining the drawing. “You don’t have to ask permission.” Jimin’s eyes narrowed, his sly grin constant. “You can draw me whenever you like.” He bit his lip, snatching the pad of paper from Namjoon. “Or have you already.” He prodded, but didn’t seem bothered. “You’re too good at this for this to be the first time drawing me.”

Namjoon swallowed, that guilt attempting to come up his throat again. He had to be honest now. “Y-yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I have… a couple times…” Despite telling the truth he didn’t really want to be honest about all the details. How many times he had sketched Jimin he didn’t need to know that.

“I’m flattered.” Jimin placed the pad of paper down on the cushion. “If I were any other person I would probably be creeped out right now.”

“So why aren’t you?” Namjoon bit his lip.

Jimin shrugged. “Maybe it’s me being a wishful thinker. But it makes me think that maybe I’m worth being art.” He tilted his head, staring off somewhere. “Maybe.”

“You are!” Namjoon insisted, his blush heating his cheeks at his sudden burst. “You are very beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Jimin said, but he looked like he was still considering it. “Anyway, sorry for intruding. I should get going- you know I’ve got things to be doing.”

“Ah,” Namjoon stood, walking Jimin to the door. “Thanks…” He smiled awkwardly, unsure of what else to say.

Jimin scanned Namjoon’s whole body, his silence making Namjoon uncomfortable. The whole exchange had been making him anxious, and it didn’t help that Jimin was so hard to understand. At first Namjoon thought he was this person who looked like the sun and smiled like they went to coffee shops, whose kitten sat on the windowsill. Now Namjoon was pulling apart those puzzle pieces attempting to put the correct one together but all his pieces had fallen on the floor. Jimin was weird.

Jimin tilted his head, drawing Namjoon’s eyes to his. That look in his eyes. It was dark and intriguing. Namjoon wondered what hid behind his pupils. What was the story beneath the puzzle pieces?

“I think,” He placed a finger on his lip in thought, “I think you’re worth art too Namjoon.” And then he left.

5 notes · View notes

tcheschirewrites · 4 years

Text

Happy New Year!

Part of me wanted to do a Year In Review post, like I’ve seen a few other creators do, but instead of talking about myself (which I do for the entire rest of the year anyway lmao), I’m gonna do a reclist instead, of the best fics I’ve read this year. A lot of it is BNHA, because that’s been my main fandom for 2020, but I did spend a decent amount of time in other spaces. If you see a **, that means there’s boning at some point – if the fic is in bold, then there’s a lot of boning. I @ed their Tumblr if I knew it off the top of my head, but I may have missed some.

BNHA

Don't Yuck Her Yum by rumblefish ( @rumbllefish) (League of Villains Gen)

Complete – A quick disclaimer, pia is a mutual and a friend. That being said, this is such a cute little snapshot into the LOV with everyone’s favorite Found Family trope. Now, I’ll admit to being additionally biased because pia gave me that sweet sweet Dadpress food, but her Spinner is also on point. Short and sweet.

the Issue of the Jeanist Corpse (the Jorpse) by Princeliest (Hawks & Jeanist Gen)

Complete – Witty and hilarious, a deleted scene when Hawks went to visit Best Jeanist before War Arc. I love how antsy Hawks is, and how fussy Jeanist. Also, I’m a sucker for putting a j at the beginning of everything for Jeaninst.

Queer Eye: We're In Japan! And There Are Pro Heroes Everywhere!! by night_of_the_living_trashcan (Background Erasermic Family)

Complete – I love a good Queer Eye fic, and this one is so spot on. The Fab Five couldn’t get a better candidate than Aizawa (well, almost; see below). And I’m a sucker for Erasermic family.

**Yesterday's Gods by Karzai (All Might/Reader)

WIP - Reader character is an ex-military doctor who comes to work at UA. If you’re a fan of very well-developed backstories, and reader characters that are their own people, then this is the fic for you. This fic gives me huge Newsroom vibes - we’ve got a past romance, and the tension after years apart. We get present day when they are older and more jaded, and we get the backstory of the reader character and All Might when they were young and spry.

**surrender (whenever you're ready) by OfMermaids ( @ofmermaidstories) (Bakugou/Reader)

WIP - Bakugou accidentally destroys a florist’s shop. Bar none the best Bakugou fic out there - his characterization is so on point. He is grouchy but so vulnerable, he’s coarse and soft and insecure and such a perfectionist. The relationship with the reader character develops very naturally, and the chapters are long. Bonus, we get some bangin’ Kiri as well.

**if i could keep cool by andypantsx3 ( @andypantsx3) (Todoroki/Reader)

Complete – I’m in love with the premise of the fic: a hired cleaner gets kidnapped due to a misunderstanding of the romantic variety. Andie’s Todo is well written, and the pacing of the story is nice and tight. An easy read.

**Subject: RAPTOR by Tainted_Wine ( @tainted-wine)(Hawks/Reader)

Complete – The villains have turned Hawks into a Nomu, and reader works collecting semen for the facility for breeding purposes. Bigtime monster-fucking, but it’s very poignant and well-done. Very long, but well worth the time.

**My Hero by HeroAssociation(Aizawa/Reader)

WIP – Reader character is a milf whose son enters a contest to meet his favorite hero and wins. The author’s Aizawa is really good, and the scenes with the reader’s son are very realistic for maternal love. And, I cannot emphasize this enough, reader character is a milf. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t updated in a while, but the premise is so cute I can’t not include it.

suffer the signs by advantagetexas(Aizawa/Reader)

Complete – Baby’s first hanahaki. Honestly a very cute little hanahaki – no angst or sads, just two idiots in love. A nice quick read.

But they're soft... by coffee_dessert (Aizawa/Reader)

Complete – Aizawa gets turned into a cat by a villain’s quirk, and the reader character takes care of him until it wears off. I’ve heard this premise is popular? But I haven’t seen too too many, and this one is very well executed. Aizawa’s characterization is solid, and the pacing is very good. A very sweet read.

**no grave to hold my body down by Hawnks (supermintfluff) ( @hawnks)(Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Pro Hero Shinsou saves the reader character, and they keep running into each other. This one is a good character study on adult Shinsou, and Hawnks’ writing is always very clean and lovely. I recommend going through their entire selection.

Love Like You by Queen_Kai (Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Color Soulmate AU with a villain reader. Very cute, and I adore Shinsou’s characterization in this one. I honestly wish there was more, but it stands on its own very well.

Naruto

**Maid with Benefits by awolangel (Akatsuki/Reader)

WIP – Reader is hired to be a live-in maid to the Akatsuki, and also have lots of sex. This fic is hilarious, and so well characterized. The pacing is actually really good, as well as the development of all of the relationships. There are some characters that get more attention than others, but we do get a nice spread. Very fun escapism fic.

Moonshine by Victopteryx ( @ancharan) (HashiMada)

Complete – Prohibition Era Bootlegging AU. Author’s handle on both Madara and Hashirama is incredible (and they draw their own fanart, and it’s also incredible). A whole-ass meal.

Tobirama Kicks Some Sense Into Konoha by allseer15 (Tobirama&Naruto Gen)

Complete – Tobirama gets sent back in time due to an accidental jutsu, and is horrified at the way Konoha is run, and promptly Rampages over it. Wonderful catharsis for anyone who wondered why it was okay for a rich-ass old man to just leave an infant a welfare check and a shitty apartment and dip out on his development even though he has the equivalent of a nuclear warhead in his upper intestine.

Misc

**Clouds by moriamithril (Star Wars Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Reader)

Complete – Reader character is a handler/assistant type figure to Cassian over a series of missions. We get a lot of emotions in this one – we get the tenderness of caring for someone who is ill, we get devotion, we get yearning, we get delicious jealousy. Well written and lovely.

Fresh Coat by scrapmetal (The Mandalorian, Boba & Din Gen)

Complete – Fantastic Boba and Din, the Mando culture representation we deserve. I’m love.

**A Far Greater Sin (Reader version) by Yavannie (The Mandalorian, Din Djarin/Reader)

Complete – Reader is a healer, and builds a relationship with Mando over the course of a couple decades. Great pacing, great RC development, and the author’s Mando is quite good. The premise/setting gives me wicked fantasy vibes, even though it’s obviously In Space, but that’s definitely a draw.

who's gonna save us now (when the ashes hit the ground) by chancellor_valdez (Ready or Not, Grace/Daniel)

Complete – My favorite of the “Grace and Daniel Survive Together” subgenere, this one is very raw with its emotions. There’s a lot of hurt, and there’s a lot of self-harming coping mechanisms. Recovery is ugly, and the author did a very good job showing us that. And their ending was lovely.

not your garden variety demon lord by rizahawkaye (Inuyasha, SanSessh)

Complete – Sango takes care of Rin sometimes, and gets confused when Sesshoumaru brings her gifts. The author’s Sessh is so good, and it’s a great exploration of a relationship we don’t see much of.

Mine Enemy by Ayrith (Inuyasha, InuSan)

Complete – I love this fic, okay. Fantastic character study in Sango and a lot of the rougher parts of her that canon shied away from, and the author’s Inuyasha characterization is fucking great. Just go read this, yes.

Frozen Plus One by Meowzy (Frozen, HansAnna)

WIP – Troll AU, ie the trolls cursed Hans and that’s why he is That Way. Look, this author has done such a good job with all of the characters. Their voices are very distinct, and it’s not a reach at all to see how it could have gone differently. And we get some sweet HansAnnaKris action, and it is just as we deserve. Honestly, this fic is so well written, it deserves the world.

Knives In by anomalation (Knives Out, Marta/Ransom)

Complete – My favorite of the Pen Pals subgenre, this one is a fantastic slow burn. Ransom is really forced to face himself, and Marta is such a babe. Meg makes a few appearances, and her confusion over her place in the world is really well done. A great enemies-to-lovers.

It's Not Anxiety, It's a Parasite by squadrickchestopher (Venom, Queer Eye)

Complete – Look, I’ve mentioned before, but I love a good Queer Eye fic. Eddie gets what he deserves, and the symbiote couldn’t be more happy. So funny and clever.

You Find Yourself in a Maze by FloaromaMeadow ( @zombiekaiba) (S0 Atem Gen)

Complete – Very short and very poignant, the style is modeled after text-based command games. It fits super well with the Season 0 aesthetic, and there’s so much punch in each command.

Gaud's Grinch x Tony Fix-it Fic by gaudy_writes ( @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses)

WIP – Look, I know, all right. Just read it.

#fic recs #i'm sorry but i don't feel like tagging alla that #maybe i will later idk lmao #in case anyone wonders what kind of fics i read in my spare time

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zodiyack · 5 years

Text

Billy Hargrove VS The World

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x reader Scott Pilgrim Vs The World AU (See note!)

Warnings: 7 exes that would love to kill Billy, violence, swearing, soft!Billy, I guess two sexual references since it’s Billy we’re talking about, smut mention but no smut, making out, SPOLIERS!, and cheesy pirate Patel

Words: 4947

Note: This is a Scott Pilgrim Vs The World AU because I love that movie and it would be interesting to write an AU involving that. Also this is a multiple part story due to all 7 exes and the battles. One ex per post! (maybe) I’m sorry for the unoriginal title lmao

By the way, yes. There is dialogue from the movie. That is in and going to be in this miniseries. As I said, I love this movie and I think most of the dialogue was funny, plus it is semi important to the story. And the exes are the same people from the movie. Sorry if you don’t like that.

o/o/y/f/c = One of Your Favorite Color(s)

Bold = Words From The Movie (that appear on the screen, if you’ve watched it, then you know what I’m talking about)

Italics with apostrophes = Billy’s thoughts (and Matthew’s thoughts but only once)

Italic = Used for a few different things, mainly enthusiasm/emphasis on words

Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist

link to the soundtrack on youtube ‘cause why not (a few will be in here I guess)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5 and 6. Part 7.

“Look.”

Tommy pointed to the new girl. Finally, some fresh meat for Billy. Or Tommy, whichever one thought of her first. Billy finally grew bored of the girls at school, he waited for one that was newer. Fresher. Cuter.

There she was. Her unnatural o/o/y/f/c hair sat on her shoulders. Roller-blades on her feet, her torso clothed in a shirt covered with a hoodie and another jacket. Her bag hung by her side, headphone strings leaving it and connecting to the headphones on her head. She didn’t look like most girls. Billy had seen most of them, and none had looked as breathtaking nor interesting as her. Before either teens could walk over to her, a boy around their age walked in front of them. She was gone when he moved.

“Weird...”

“I hear she’ll be at Tina’s party tonight.” Carol noticed the boy’s fascination with the new kid, sharing it. “We should go, it’ll give you the chance to learn more about her, Billy.”

“We’ll see.” He brushed off his thoughts about the odd girl, her choice of hair color and clothing, and her headphones that caused her mental absence from the world. Billy turned and walked away, continuing with the rest of his day.

. . .

Billy was stopped by Tina. She asked him how the party was going and if he needed anything.

“Hey Tina, you know everyone, right?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.” She let out a small laugh. Billy didn’t know whether it was fake or genuine.

“Do you know this one girl with hair...” He grabbed a pen the same color as the new girl’s hair color, quickly drawing a horrible doodle of the girl’s hair. “Like this?”

“Yes, that’s Y/n L/n.” Tina took a sip of her drink, “Someone said she was gonna be here tonight actually.”

Billy’s hand that held the drawing went down quickly, his head snapping to the side and his eyes searching for Y/n. “What?”

“Oh Billy, you got the hots for her or something? I’ve gotta tell you though, I hear she’s a little hardcore-” Tina had looked down mid-sentence and when she looked back up Billy was gone. She turned her head with confusion.

Meanwhile, Billy was now walking through the crowd in search of his unique looking crush. His eyes and head shifted when he couldn’t see her, switching from left and right with each step he took. He didn’t blink, afraid that he’d miss her if he did. After many turns of his head and movements of his eyes, he finally spotted her. His hand clenched the red solo cup, squeezing it until it was crumpled and disfigured.

He slid along the wall, stopping when his body was right next to hers. He faced her, his body turned slightly so that she knew she had his full attention.

“Hey, what’s up?”

She turned her head to him for a second, facing forwards again and replying with, “Nothing.” before taking a sip from her cup.

“Hey you know swimming?”

“I know of it.” She took another sip, still not facing him.

He rambled on about the breast stroke and how he could teach her. Billy took notice of her silence, looking up to see that she was facing him with no emotion visible.

“That’s amazing.” Her reply was just as her face was; emotionless and dull.

“Uhm...” He looked down. No girl could make Billy nervous. By now, he’d have them a blushing mess, begging for him to do whatever he’d like. So now that the new girl, on the first day she’d ever met him, just somehow managed to make him regret every word he said, he thought he’d gone soft. “Am I dreaming?” Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion and another emotion Billy couldn’t quite think of. However, it was enough to make him regret speaking once more. “I’ll leave you alone forever now...”

“Thanks.”

And Then

He Stalked Her

Until She

Left

The Party

“Dude!”

He grabbed Tommy’s shoulder, spinning him around.

“What?”

“She’s totally real!”

“Who?”

“Y/n L/n.” His gaze went elsewhere. Billy then speeded off to find Tina. “Dude!” She made a face at Billy’s sudden approach, but let him speak. “What do you know about Y/n L/n?”

“All I know is that she’s (ethnicity).”

His sudden dramatic and demanding of knowledge persona swapped to dreamy, just as it had when he said her name to Tommy. “(ethnicity)...”

“Why don’t you go talk to Sandra and Monique, they know more about her.” Tina’s head nodded to two blond women laughing in a doorway. Billy rushed to them.

“Lady-dudes. What do you know about Y/n L/n?”

Sandra spoke up first, “I heard she has a boyfriend.” Monique confirmed her knowledge, “Mhm, yes. Left him back in New York.”

Billy felt a bit annoyed, but still wanted to know more. “Yeah yeah yeah...What else?”

He asked other people, earning all kinds of different responses.

“I heard she kicks all kinds of ass.”

“She’s on...another level!”

“She has men dying at her feet!”

“She’s got some battle scars dude.”

“What about Y/n L/n?!” Robin asked, semi full of annoyance for her old friend.

“You know her? Tell me now.”

“She just moved here, got a job at the mall, comes into my work.”

“Does she really?” His tone was dreamy again.

A girl put her arm around Robin, “didn’t you say she just broke up with someone?”

“Did she really?”

“They had uh...huge fight or whatever?”

“Did they really?”

Robin slapped the other girl’s arm off of her. “Yes! But I didn’t want Billy to know that, Kate!”

“Yeah...I don’t know what it is about that girl-”

“Billy, I forbid you from hitting on Y/n! Even if you haven’t had a real girlfriend in over a year or whatever.”

Billy’s daydreaming halted to a stop. He let out a scoff and turned away.

“Hey, woah woah woah, my man Billy’s got all kinds of girls...he’s totally getting with an older girl sometime, right?” Tommy couldn’t keep his big mouth shut, as usual.

“Getting with an older girl or multiple girls is not having a real girlfriend.”

“She’s got a point.” Kate wrapped her arm around Robin again.

“I thought you guys weren’t friends anymore?”

Robin slapped away Kate again. “I don’t want you scaring off one of my old friends now that she’s in town, Billy. We all know you’re a lady-killer-wannabe-jerky-jerk.”

“That’s completely untrue.”

“That time with Lisa?”

“That was a misunderstanding.”

“That time with Holly?”

“That wasn’t what it looked like.”

“That time you dumped Faith for-”

“Okay me and Faith are all good now, right?” He turned to where the girl Robin had mentioned stood. Her cup was in her hands and her face was blank with wide eyes. She looked traumatized. Billy turned back to Robin.

“Whatever! Y/n’s just out of your league, let’s just leave it at that. Besides, I’m not even sure she had a big break up. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what it is about that girl-”

“FORGET IT BILLY!”

. . .

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know, it’s a letter for you dumbass. Read it.”

Billy grunted and took the letter from his father, tearing it open and allowing his eyes to scan the page slowly. He mumbled the words as he read them. It was only Max and him in the room, so it couldn’t do much harm. “Dear Mr. Hargrove, it has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. My name is Matthew Patel and blah blah blah blah...fair warning, mono e mono, 7 evil blah blah... This is... This is... This is-”

Max grew annoyed with her older brother. “What?!?”

“This is borrrinnnggg. Get rid of thisss.” He threw the letter into the recycling and walked up the stairs to his room. “Hey Max?” For once, he didn’t care about being an ass to the redheaded girl. He had a plan, and he needed her as an excuse to leave the house.

“What is it?”

“Wanna go to the mall?”

“For real?” Of course, he couldn’t tell her. “Let me get my wallet and I’ll meet you in the car!”

. . .

“Hello. Robin tells me you ordered this ice cream but left before she could give it to you, so here.” The ice cream that she handed him was indeed abandoned when he heard Steve say that Y/n was in the mall and would be hanging around Scoops soon. “You gonna take it? Ooor-”

“Hi, I was thinking about asking you out but then I realized how stupid that would be...so do you wanna go out sometime?”

“Um no, that’s okay. You can just pay for this, alright?”

“You don’t remember me, do you? We met at the party the other day.”

“Were you the swim guy?”

“Nooooooooo, not even. That was some total ass...I was the...other guy.”

“You know you need to take this and pay for it?”

“But if I do, you’ll leave.”

“Yeah. It’s how it works.”

“Okay well maybe, do you wanna hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You’re the new kid on the block...right, I’ve lived here...for a while so there are reasons...for you to hang out with me.”

A short pause was shared between the two. Y/n’s eyes glanced up to Billy’s with an eyebrow raised. He didn’t know why he felt desperate, but this girl was making him feel different.

“You want me to hang out with you?”

“Um...” He looked down shyly, but quickly looked back up to her face. “Yeah, if that’s cool...” His tough demeanor seemed to flee whenever she was present.

“If I say yes, will you take and pay for your damn ice cream?”

He snatched the ice cream from her and tossed it over his shoulder and into the garbage can behind him effortlessly, taking out the money needed and handing it to her. “So yeah, eight o’clock?”

So Yeah ( . . . )

“Why’re you just standing there?”

“Dude, I’m totally waiting on you.” Y/n turned to Billy, her hands tucked into the pockets of her hoodie. Billy didn’t know whether she looked offended or confused.

“Oh...I’m sorry, I just assumed you were too cool to be here on time...” In other words, he assumed she was like him. If you were at Tina’s party, then you were bound to be somewhat of a “cool kid” or a rebel or anything remotely relating to popularity. Then again, Tina loved handing out invites.

“Well. You assumed wrong.”

They walked in the chilly weather. Small talk slowly formed and they tried their best to get to know each other just as Billy had suggested. His nervousness didn’t leave him around her, and he was glad that no one else from school was there to see him make a fool of himself. ‘You’re just gonna get lucky and then leave her like the rest of them.’ No matter how many times he told himself that, he was too interested in Y/n. His felt something he wasn’t sure he had ever actually felt.

“So, how’d you end up in Hawkins?” Crap. He wasn’t even sure he could get to like him. Let alone be his snack of the week.

“Just needed to escape I guess...”

“Oh yeah.” He knew exactly how she felt. Or at least what he thought she meant by it.

“I got this job here and Gideon always said Hawkins was one of the cool places, so.”

Now Billy felt the need to ask the question that had been bugging him since Robin brought it up. “Is Gideon...your boyfriend?” It had been bothering him and filling him with a small amount of disappointment and worry.

“He’s...a friend.” Her gaze strayed away.

“Was he your boyfriend?”

She looked hurt. Hurt and uncomfortable. “Do you mind if I don’t get into that right now?” Y/n turned and walked to the swing set in front of them.

“Uh- it’s so not interesting to me...”

Y/n kept walking, Billy joining her and attempting to not bother her any more than he had already done. She took notice and initiated conversation so that he wouldn’t feel as awkward and guilty, “What about you, what do you do?”

“Oh, I’m in between jobs at the moment.”

“Between what and what?” She moved in front of the swing and sat down as Billy started talking. He did the same but his movements were still shy and cautious.

“Well my last job was...a long story, filled with sighs.”

“I know plenty of those.” Billy took the opportunity to check on Y/n. His face slowly looked over to hers, which was looking up and admiring the sky.

“Is that why you left New York?”

She looked in front of her, furrowing her eyebrows and nodding, “Pretty much. Just time to head somewhere a little more chilled.”

A cold breeze swept past the two. It was incredible timing.

“Well it’s certainly chilled here!” The wind gave Billy the perfect opportunity to try and lift the mood. A smile rested on his face, his joke seemed like one of the funniest things in the world seeing as Y/n had that same smile.

“Yeah...”

“It’s chilled as in cold...” Oh no. ‘Why the fuck am I so awkward?”

“Yeah.” ‘Oh dear god she noticed.’

The two decided to swing a bit more. With the conversation at a pause, that was honestly probably needed, Y/n and Billy swung their legs back and forth. competition started. They both tried to see who could go higher, Y/n won and smiled slightly while Billy smiled and chuckled with accepting defeat.

After they finished their fun, Billy and Y/n hopped off the swings for a finale. They continued their conversation afterwards, light droplets of rain mixed with small snowflakes falling over their heads.

“It’s ridiculous. Isn’t it like September?”

“No...but it doesn’t snow much in Indiana...ya know, I can barely see you?” His leather jacket was suddenly not projecting as much warmth as he normally would have anticipated. “This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.”

“I think ‘Act Of God’ is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.”

Billy stopped in his tracks. A sneaky signature smirk crept onto his face and his usual attitude made an appearance. “So this a date, eh?”

She stopped as well and turned. “Did I say date?” He nodded. “Slip of the tongue.”

“Tongue.”

“Anyway, nights not over yet...” She turned back to where they were originally facing, “and there’s a thingy over here somewhere.”

“Thingy?”

Once again, she turned her head towards him. “A door.” She turned it back, yet again, but this time there was a door in front of them. Odd. She nodded her head over to it in a beckoning way. “Come on.”

Billy took her hand and was dragged by her over to the mysterious door.

Y/n Come Closer ( . . . )

Y/n took off her shoes and looked up at Billy. He sat at her dining room table, staring at her with awe and adoration. Y/n broke the silence and walked over to her cupboard. “What kind of tea do you want?”

He didn’t know why he took his jacket off. His arms were cradling themselves as one would when they were cold. And he was cold. “There’s more than one kind?”

She opened the cupboard. “We have,” she inhaled. “Blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepytime, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffle, blueberry caramel, vanilla walnut, constant comment annnnnd...earl gray.”

When her sentence was finished, Y/n turned to face a wide eyed Billy. “Did you make some of those up?”

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a box, “I think I’ll have sleepytime.”

“That sounds good to me...”

She made the tea and set it on the table. Billy’s position didn’t go unnoticed by her, “Want me to get you a blanket?” Her eyebrows were raised with amusement.

“That would actually be...awesome.”

Y/n walked away into her room. A few minutes passed. More minutes. Billy was almost done with his tea. He wondered where she went. He wondered why she was taking so long. Billy decided to go into her room and check on her, making a grunt-like wheeze.

Facing her closet, she was taking off her shirt. Upon hearing him, she turned and raised her arms. “Dude I’m changing.” She didn’t seem bothered by the fact that he just walked in on her while he bra was the only thing covering her chest.

Billy let out a small, “Ah, sorry!” and covered his eyes. “I’m just cold...”

“Here. That help?”

“Yeah...that’s very warm...What is that?” His hands slowly left his face. “Oh- kaaay...” Y/n was standing right in front of him with a cheeky grin on her lips. He leaned in and kissed her. It was finally happening. Their lips danced together, it felt like they had rehearsed the dance for so long yet in reality they were very new to each other.

The make out session with Y/n was all it took to break Billy. He was in love and he couldn’t deny it. As their passion turned rough and intense, he thought of how happy he felt and how he wouldn’t normally feel that with a girl.

They finally pulled away. Billy’s arms were around Y/n and one of her hands was on his shoulder, her arms laying loosely, and her other was clutching his side under his arm.

“Were you just gonna...bring the blanket from your bed?”

“I guess...” Her voice was soft, unlike her previous dead tone. Billy managed to shatter her “hardcore” exterior with a simple make out session. Or so he thought, if you asked anyone what they thought, they’d say Y/n managed to break him within their first conversation and then decided to let him in after touching her lips to his.

“Maybe we should...both get under it...since we’re both so cold...”

“What about our tea?”

Of course. The tea. Billy didn’t give a fuck about the tea. “I can...not have tea.”

The night went on with passion and...lust. They stripped down to their underwear and continued making out on Y/n’s bed. At some point they got under the blankets and Y/n leaned over Billy to continue their rough kissing. When it was “just about to get good”, Y/n pulled away from Billy.

“I changed my mind.”

“...changed it from what?”

“I don’t want to have sex with you Hargrove.” She moved over beside Billy, laying on his arm and snuggling into his side. “Not right now.”

Another, “Oooh- kay?” escaped Billy’s mouth. As usual, he didn’t know if he should feel hurt, angered or just plain okay with it. He longed for Y/n. She was his addiction, better than any drug. In his mind, he made the exception; feel bad about it later, stay with her for now.

“It’s not like I’m gonna send you home in this weather or anything, you can sleep in my bed. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.” At least he had a chance.

“This is...nice. Just this...” He was referencing their semi-cuddling forms. “It’s been like, a really long time so I think I needed this...whatever it is so...thank you.”

Y/n leaned over and kissed his cheek, “You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arms around her when she wrapped one of her arms around his neck.

. . .

Billy and his basketball team were just having some harmless fun. It was a game, and school was out for the day. No one could do anything bad, right? Wrong.

Read to show off, Billy brought the new girl to the gym. Max was dragged along since Billy was her ride home. He and his team were horribly distracted by the pretty girl now known as Billy’s first official girlfriend. Scowls and mean looks were given to Y/n by the other girls at school, purely out of jealousy. This morning, Y/n was walked down the hall of Hawkins’ high under Billy’s arm, wolf whistles and more sounded around them.

A weird looking guy stormed into the room, “MR. HARGROVE. IT IS I, MATTHEW PATEL. CONSIDER OUR FIGHT,” Y/n looked horrified. She was pale and breathing unsteadily. The guy who had announced himself to be Matthew moved his head slightly, nodding his hair out of his face. “BEGUN!”

He ran at Billy. ‘What is this kid on?’ Time felt like it was moving in slow motion. “What did I do...?” His voice was slow. He really was moving in slow motion. “What do I do...” Matthew launched himself into the air with his fist raised. He aimed himself to punch at Billy.

Tommy gripped the shoulders of the boys next to him, leaning forward and yelling with entertainment. “Fight!”

Billy’s eyebrows furrowed. His fists clenched. He threw the basket ball to the side and shifted to a fighting stance. He blocked Matthew’s punch with his arm and reversed their roles. He swung his fist at Matthew’s face, somehow knocking him to the side of the room. Tommy, Max and Y/n’s eyes widened, as well as everyone else’s in the room.

Matthew still refused to give up. He jumped in front of Billy, “Alright! Alright...”

Max yelled from the bleachers. “Watch out!” They all turned to her. “It’s that one guy.”

“Ha!” Matthew smiled mischievously and ran at Billy again. Sadly, some people just don’t learn from their mistakes. Billy threw an uppercut to Matthews chin, sending him flying to the back of the room. Billy got in some extra punches while Matthew was still down. The two landed in front of each other, most of the people in the gym now gathered around them.

Matthew blew dust off his shoulders and turned to Billy before laughing a laugh that could’ve been mistaken for a villain’s. They started to circle each other, Mathew taking a step to the left and Billy taking a step to the right, “Well well well...you’re quite the opponent.” His neck moved left and then moved back to the right after each syllable when he said, “Hargrove.”

“Who the hell are you anyway?”

“My name,” he swung his right arm up into the air, his left clenched in a fist that met his collar bone. “is Matthew Patel! And I’m Y/n’s FIRST,” Matthew lifted his pointer finger on his left hand and moved his arm to the side. He moved his fingers so that his pinky, ring and middle fingers were out, his thumb and pointer finger touching so that the tips were smooshed together. He turned back to Billy, “evil ex boyfriend.” His shoulders moved up and down one at a time when he said boyfriend. When his hand went down, he let out a growl.

“Her what?” Everyone’s heads turned to Y/n.

She turned to Max and the other people on the right of her. Y/n nervously smiled, “Anyone need a drink?”

A fight initiated between the two boys, fists and feet being used. The grunts coming from both males were loud. Surely, at least one of them would have bruises after this.

Max made a face of massive confusion, looking around for any clues of the situation. Her older brother kept fighting the abnormal kid. After a few more swings, Billy, again, realized how confusing this really was. He wanted to ask beforehand, but this Matthew guy was really determined to teach Billy a lesson.

“Wait!” He held out his hand in a stopping motion. “We’re fighting over Y/n?” He personally had no problem with it, but the “Evil Ex” thing was getting to his head.

Matthew lowered his fist slightly, “didn’t you get my letter explaining the situation?”

“I skimmed it...”

Max squeezed her eyes shut and clicked her tongue. “Mm mm.” She shook her head with her disconfirming noise.

Matthew only seemed to grow madder. “You will pay for your INSOLENCE!” He threw kick after kick after kick, all of which were blocked by Billy. The anger fueled him to the point where Billy could only do few attacks with little time. Just as Billy was gaining the upper hand, Matthew socked him square in the face with both fists, then his right foot with a jump spinning kick.

The people in the crowd behind Billy caught him when he fell backwards from the attack, pushing him forwards and urging him to continue with the fight. Matthew backed up one foot at a time and did weird dance, finishing it off with pulling his coat forward a bit so the dust came off of it and tilting his left foot upwards.

“Hey.” Max leaned forward, gaining the attention of two boys as well as everyone else in the gym. “What’s up with his outfit?”

“Yeah. Is he a pirate?” Laughter flooded the room at Tommy’s observation.

Billy was also curious. “Are you a pirate?” He asked Matthew in a simple and genuinely asking way. Unfortunately, Matthew looked caught off guard and offended.

“Pirates are in this year!” He wasn’t shouting, but he said it with a sassy and upset tone. “Gah!” This time he did shout. His fist was aimed at Billy, and his feet were already moving forward.

More attacks were made. Billy finally did have the upper hand. After Matthew tried to hit Billy’s face again, Billy caught his arms and held them to his chest. His eyes and head turned to Y/n. He was pissed off now. “You really went out with this guy?”

Everyone faced Y/n now. “Yeah.” She stood up and leaned forward, “In the 5th grade.”

Silence. Billy looked around, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, he spoke up again, “And?”

She sighed. “It was football season and for some reason, all the little jocks wanted me. Matthew was the only nonwhite nonjock boy in town, so the two of us joined forces and we took 'em all down. We brawled and scrapped, fought for hours. Nothing could beat Matthew’s mystical powers. We only kissed once. After a week and a half, I told him to hit the showers.”

Matthew was full of rage. His furrowed eyebrows and reddened skin could do nothing but confirm that statement.

“Dude wait- mystical powers?” Billy was confused. Unluckily for him, Matthew took advantage of his distracted state and broke free from his grip. Music started playing in the background. Matthew pushed Billy and turned to Y/n, holding out his pointer finger and pointing at her. The veins on his forehead were bulging.

“You’ll pay for this,” He paused for a second. Y/n was visibly afraid. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was was ajar. Matthew finished his sentence with a slight raspy sound to his voice, “L/n.” He swiftly turned to Billy and started dancing and singing. It’s a cringey dance and song to say the least.

“If you want to fight me,”

Max made the same confused face as she had previously. “What!?” She knew it was dumb to pick a fight with Billy, but to sing and dance while doing so? And to get her exes together so they could fight Billy? Were they that dumb?

“Hah! You’re not the brightest.

You won’t know what hit you,

in the sligh-igh-ightest.”

He made sounds with his mouth, floating into the air. Black and white colored girls, kind of like those old animations on tv, were summoned around him. They looked like someone wanted to make demon girls but was a perverted guy who loves hipsters.

“This guy’s good-” One of the basketball team members spoke. He too was wide eyed and confused as fuck.

“Me and my fireballs,

my demon hipster chicks!”

Looks like he was right about hipsters.

“Tell ‘em Matty.” They had a seductive-like voice. With a closer look, Billy could see that their eyes were like snakes. Their teeth were sharp too.

“I’m talking thee talk,

‘Cause I know I’m slick!” He winked before his weird demons spoke again.

“S-L-ICK.”

“Fireball-balls!” He threw the fireball at Billy, who thankfully dodged it in time. Gasps were heard around the room. At least it wasn’t just Billy seeing this shit. “Take this sucker out!” More flames erupted from his hands, shooting at Billy again.

“We’ll show him

What we’re all about!”

“That doesn’t even rhyme!” Billy finished off his sentence by throwing the now broken ring from the hoop at Matthew like a frizzbe. It hit him in the head and caused him to flip backwards a bit. His demons disappeared and it was his turn for his eyes to widen.

‘This is impossible. How can this be?’

Somehow, Billy heard and responded to Matthew’s thoughts with his own, ‘Open your eyes. Maybe you’ll see.’ He jumped at Matthew and returned the punch that had formerly knocked him back into the crowd.

Though, something strange happened this time. When Billy’s fist made contact with Matthew’s skin, he slowly fell a bit, but when he hit the ground, his body turned into 9 quarters. Everyone except for Tommy, Max, Carol, Billy and Y/n continued acting normal. The difference with them and the 5 others were that they had no memory of this “Matthew Patel” or of any fight. The damage in the gym was restored, but still. The 5 of them knew what happened and didn’t know quite yet that no one else did.

“Sweet! Coins!”

“Coins that’re mine, shortstack.” Billy took the remains of Matthew from the poor kid holding them. He walked outside, following the other 4 to discuss what just happened.

123 notes · View notes

obaewankenope · 5 years

Note

TW FOR SELF HARM:. After reading your last writing I went feral over the idea of Crowley disappearing for periods of time and Az worrying about him so consider Crowley starts seeming more and more bedraggled and snippy every time they see each other, then doesn't show up to the bookstore for a few weeks. Az worries more and more until he gets hit with a train of pain and misery and realizes that Crowley is depressed and in danger. Az finds Crowley in his flat, feathers ripped out and eyes wild-

-wild, in a full blown panic attack. Crowley won’t let Az near him so he has to calm the demon down from afar. Eventually it comes out that all this is because Crowley hates what he is (demon/fallen angel) due to what Hell and Heaven have done and simply wants the pain and misery to end. He had hoped that with his ugly black feathers gone, he could find redemption or, at least, peace. ~fucker

You, you are a monster and I love it so much omg ps go and shout at iggysfanblog for this Angsty AF Fic lmao

Trigger warning: self-harm, mutilation, wing abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, suicidal apathy.

Angelof the crooked wings

Title comes from Antiphon forthe Angels by Hildegard VonBingen

Crowley has always hated his job. Not because he’sa bad demon—sort of the job description, being bad—but because he’s not alwaysin the mood to commit Evil Acts and Evil Acts only. He’s a good Tempter and an evenbetter Thinker Upper Of Plans but being a demon didn’t give him thoseskills or make him so good at them. Neither had being an angel. They were justpart of him; Crowley. The core personality so to speak. Everything else wasjust dressings and trimmings to make him look Fancier and Mightier and Holierand Unholier depending on the uniform required for the job.

Once upon a time he’d had white wings—to the humaneye at least; they were really every colour in existence because angels wereeverything too—and he’d found them to be both beautiful and very constrictingin a confusing way. It’s an absurd feeling when one has wings capable offlight, but one Crowley feels, nonetheless. For celestial and infernal beings,feeling trapped when possessing wings is about as crazy as defying heaven andhell to preserve one little mudball full of evolved monkeys.

Naturally then, Crowley excels at it in the sameway he excels at saving humanity; disastrously.

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Fallinghad been an impulsive act by Crowley; sort of a “maybe this will change thisfeeling” kind of thinking. To be fair, it had. It’d changed a lot of otherthings—turning his wings black had been an aesthetic choice to hide the faintscarring from the ten-thousand-mile free-fall and the boiling sulphur he’d onlybriefly landed in [1]—butit didn’t really change the sense of feeling penned in all the time. In heavenit had been rules and regulations and expectations and not thinking or askingquestions. In hell it was the same just with a bit more give if you could liewell.

Crowleylies exceptionally well [2].

Before the Fall, Crowley had felt like he’d beentrapped in a hamster cage that wasn’t designed for housing a rabbit. After theFall, it’d been like he’d been re-homed in a larger space that didn’t look likea cage but was. It’d just took him a little while to find the edges. Thetrapped feeling always returned.

When Crowley had first met Aziraphale—just anotherangel in the Garden back then—he hadn’t expected the feeling of Relief that theangel had elicited in him. His wings had revealed themselves against hiswill—something he controlled ruthlessly from then on—and the angel had shieldedhim from the First Rain. The angel felt as trapped as Crowley to the demon’ssenses but, whereas Crowley was aware of his predicament, Aziraphale seemedinnocently unaware of how trapped he was. Crowley wasn’t sure such a situationwas a blessing or a curse. Six thousand years later and Crowley still isn’tsure.

The only changes from Falling for Crowley wereillusionary at best. His eyes were aChoice He Made Himself and not a visual sign of punishment for rebelling.Crowley hadn’t rebelled, not really. He’d just taken the last train out ofheaven and hitched a free ride to hell. Desertion. That’s it. Crowley haddeserted heaven, not rebelled against it. Completely different. So he gained a new employer who was abitter ex-employee of their parent company, it was all the same in thelong-run.

From angel to demon, a simple enough transitionthat gave Crowley a little more rope with which to hang himself.

Whenever Crowley is with Aziraphale, his entirebeing is released, the trapped feeling fading away to a faint buzz rather thanthe constant klaxon sounding in his mind. Unfortunately, however, Crowley hasnever been able to just be around Aziraphale all the time.That’s why he’d come up with The Arrangement. Mutually beneficial—as it reducedtravel commitments and such—it offered Crowley the easy excuse to check in onAziraphale whenever the klaxon became Too Much. It worked fantastically enough,until 1862 when Crowley had asked the angel for holy water and set off anargument he hadn’t intended to start. Over sixty years of not seeing Aziraphalewould have been impossible for Crowley to endure had he not slept for most ofit. He’d needed the sleep to escape the klaxon that got louder and louder thelonger he didn’t see Aziraphale. But then the Blitz happened and the church andthat damned bomb and- it was like they’d never argued. It was there, of course,but it didn’t make it impossible to see each other and Crowley had dropped bythe bookshop like clockwork running on a decade chime instead of hourly. Eventhe 70s hadn’t caused more issues for them, even with the- the- what- theangel’s rebuke. Yeah…

Then it had all gone to shit when Crowley had beengiven the “honour” of delivering the End Of The World and for almost a decade,the demon had been in near constant contact with Aziraphale for an entiredecade. It had done something to him—weakened him in some inexplicable way—butit was the week before the world ended that broke him. Fightingwith Aziraphale, losing him to discorporation after threats from Hastur to killhim, facing down a wall of fire, and then his own boss—and ex-employer—didsomething that Crowley fears cannot be undone.

Something he knows cannot be undone.

Wings—now inky black by choice—itch and shiftrestlessly no matter what Crowley does. Whether he’s with Aziraphale or not,the blaring alarm of TRAPPED! TRAPPED! TRAPPED! sounds on a loop. Thesense of being caged rears its head every time a primary moves, a secondarytwitches. It’s suffocating him, leaves his heart pounding like it’s trying toescape his chest, his lungs tight and constricted by bands of steel evertightening and denying his body air.

Seeing Aziraphale makes him twitch and want to clawhis skin off, smash windows and cut into his chest and slice out his heart andjust be done with it. The urge is stronger and stronger the longer he’s aroundAziraphale after the Not End so he visits the bookshop less.

Part of it is fear, that much Crowley knows. Fearof what exactly eludes him however. Not knowing tightens the bandsacross his chest more and makes his skull feel like it’s crushing his brain asthough it was in a vice. Every time he sees his wings out of the corner of hiseye—whether they’re manifested on the physical plane or just there on theastral plane that humans aren’t really built to see or interact with—Crowleywants to hiss and swipe at them; lashing out at the one constant he’s ever hadin his life.

Hiswings may be black now but that had been an intentional choice onCrowley’s part. White was the colour of heaven. The opposite then would be forhell. White makes every colour there is, black is made of those colours; itdevours them. Perfectly fitting for a demon. But his wings are Divine and havealways been part of him; Crowley cannot remember a single moment where he didnot have them [3]. They’re a part of him thathe wants to hate because he doesn’t Belong Anywhere and they’re areminder of that fact. The once represented the Divine then Infernal and now…now they’re just There and he loathes them [4].

The first feather he tears out between moultselicits a wonderful feeling of power. It doesn’t hurt for more than amoment, feels more like a particularly sharp scratch on sensitive skin but itgrants him something Crowley hesitates to call relief. He doesn’t think there’sreally a word he can use to describe what he feels after. The second and thirdfeathers are coverts like the first, torn out after he flees the bookshop whenAziraphale gives him such an openly kind look it has Crowley’s heartpounding. It gives him just enough of a sharp slap to regain the control overhis body that slipped away. But pulling coverts is like trying to staunch anarterial wound with a tissue; it’s just Not Enough.

The first primary he plucks is… a lot more painful.Wonderfully painful. He feels like he’s torn off a fingernail with no warning.The rush of feeling that burns through him in time with the hot and coldnerve-destroying flashes is fantastical. His wing snaps close to his body,tucks itself up as small and close as it can as instinct draws the injured appendageclose to him. Crowley finds that he can tolerate his wings when they’retrembling and twitching from pain and not- not whatever they usually twitchfrom. But, all too soon, the pain fades away, magic soothing the pain andturning it to a pale, ever weakening echo of the blanked-out agony it beganas. And, just like with the coverts, he pulls more and more of them astime goes on.

Aziraphalenever comments on his state though Crowley knows he notices. It’s not hard tosee really, what with the way Crowley looks like a human that hasn’t slept in amonth; skin paler than usual and a muted grey, hair lank and messy in a waythat speaks of lack of care rather than an aesthetic choice, clothing looserand worn and frayed like they’ve never been before. Crowley also knowsthe angel can see how close to his body he tucks his wings—so tightly againsthim that it looks as though he doesn’t have them anymore when he’s stood or sata certain way. But, although the angel sees it he never directly comments,Aziraphale does make pointed comments here and there: “you look like you coulduse a drink dear, I’ll make some tea; have a new type to try that apparentlyworks wonders for when you’re feeling down”, and “well this quilt is quitewarm, too warm for myself really, why don’t you have it—I know the sofa is in adraughty spot after all” and so on. Aziraphale is unlike Crowley in regard tohis wings—the angel uses them often even if they’re not visible on the physicalplane [5].

Eventually the release he experiences from pullinga feather or two here and there isn’t enough. It’s never enough. He chased thepain that each feather results in, plucking more and more from muscle and boneand tender flesh until Crowley’s wings are wrecked and destroyed by his ownhands. Even though the pain becomes constant, his magic just not enough tocontend with the aching burn that is like an undercurrent to everything, it’snot enough. He needs more. He needs-

Bones are easy to break if you know how to go aboutit. Crowley—unfortunately—does.

* * * * * * * *

Aziraphalefirst notices it about a month after the world failed to end—though it hadgiven it a good go what with the Kraken, fire and brimstone, the horsemenriding and all that stuff. Since then he’s become quite used to seeing Crowleyregularly—a new fixture in the bookshop, not unlike a particularly snippystatue that happens to walk, talk, and perform minor feats of evil for the sakeof it—compared to before the whole Influencing The Antichrist plan came about.The intermittent six thousand years of meetings here and there across the worldwere—for Aziraphale—quietly enjoyable. But when Crowley had suggested theyamend their Arrangement after the antichrist was born… Aziraphale admits nowthat he’d been tempted from the get-go [6].Throughout those eleven years Aziraphale saw Crowley regularly in the Dowlingresidence—tending to young Warlock with a surprisingly gentle manner—and thetwo immortal beings had retired to a shared cottage on the grounds; a sort oflodging house for full-time workers that had been miraculously occupied by onlythe two of them [7]. After all that,Aziraphale has to admit, he’s become quite used to Crowley always being around;so much so that when the demon starts to show up less and less, Aziraphalestarts to Worry with a capital W.

Hedoesn’t do anything about it at first, mostly because he’s not certain what he cando. Crowley is, after all, quite sensitive. Although Aziraphale will never saythat to the demon’s face—he values his books too much to offend thedemon to such a degree that Crowley would ruin several in recompense for theUnwanted Compliment—it is one of the attributes of Crowley thatAziraphale finds most appealing. That this demon is capable of committing greathorrors and instead chooses to petty temptings and chicanery to annoy humansinto choosing to sin; it is a far cry from the nature of other demonsAziraphale has met [8]. Crowley would deny itwith his last breath but the demon has a softer heart than Aziraphale everwill—the angel is quite aware that it was he and not Crowley who hadaimed a weapon at a child and hadn’t hesitated to fire after all; Aziraphale ismuch more capable of being ruthless than others would first believe [9].

Although Aziraphale doesn’t understand the appeal,he is aware that Crowley likes to sleep. Something about the lack ofconsciousness appeals to the demon just as much as drinking does—althoughAziraphale isn’t sure it’s for the same reasons. Aziraphale likes a drinkhimself—he doesn’t experience hangovers like humans, nor does his body start toshut down after too much alcohol as is the case for humans so mortifyingbehaviour is his only deterrent—but he knows Crowley uses alcohol todull his feelings. Considering how much kinder Crowley is than he should be fora demon, Aziraphale can at least comprehend why alcohol is such an appealingthing to the demon. Over the centuries, the angel has come across many a humanwho have lost themselves in their vices, trying to escape whatever haunts themin their waking hours. It is saddening to think that Crowley is like thosehumans with tortured souls.

Thedemon admitted to him once that he’d drank himself unconscious after receivinga commendation for the Spanish Inquisition [10].So it’s no surprise that Aziraphale is reasonably concerned that Crowley hasdrank himself into a stupor for some reason and that’s why he hasn’t been bythe bookshop [11]. He resolves to visit thedemon’s flat after closing the bookshop tonight—that he had never visitedbefore they averted Armageddon and he’d been homeless—and check up on Crowley.In a purely platonically friendly way of course.

However, when the wave of pain slams into him ashe’s sorting books on shelves that didn’t exist before Armageddon wascancelled, Aziraphale realises he should have acted much, much sooner.

Aziraphale is in the bookshop one moment and halfwayacross London in the next, appearing with a soft rustle of feathers in a darkflat he’s been in only once before. The pain washes through him, runs along hiswings and all the way down to the tips of his alulas, primaries and secondariesbefore it peters out in the coverts. He ignores it, rushing through the flattoward the sound of high-pitched, muffled keening that tears into the angelmore viciously than any pain ever has. The sight that greets him as he shovesthe bedroom door aside—possibly causing permanent damage to the hinges, notthat he particularly cares at that moment—is enough to stop Aziraphalein his tracks.

The sight- it would turn the stomachs of even themost soulless of demons.

There are few things that demons and angelsconsider to be sacred but wings are one of them. No angel touches anotherangel’s wings without permission. No demon harms another demon’s wings withoutpunishment. Between the two groups, injuries to wings are some of the mostserious taboo acts either side can commit in battle. Aziraphale has seen hardlymore than a dozen cases where wings have been harmed—and all of those wereduring the Rebellion led by Samael. Only She has every caused permanent harm tothe wings of her creations—the Fallen Ones—but even that harm pales incomparison to what Aziraphale sees now.

Like a bird, the wings of a Divine or Infernalcreature are delicate, designed for flight and do not take kindly tobeing injured. Although they’re delicate they can withstand a lot ofabuse—courtesy of them not being entirely physical or astral but a mixture ofthe two which enables a lot of leeway when it comes to injuries; also magic,but that’s a whole other explanation—but they do have their limits as towhat can and cannot be repaired without Divine Assistance.

Aziraphale fears that this is beyond even theDivine.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cries out, voice soft andpained and bleeding worry. “Goodness Crowley, what happened?”

The angel approaches the demon quickly, reachingout to gently touch him but freezes when Crowley’s entire body twitches andflinches away from him.

“Don- Don’t touch me,” Crowley weakly croaks, anarm blindly flinging itself out from his curled-up form in the corner of theroom, nails black with blood, hands stained and Aziraphale’s heart feels likeit’s breaking in two. “Don’t—please don’t.”

“Okay Crowley, okay,” Aziraphale assures the demon,carefully lowering himself onto his haunches as close to the demon as Crowleywill allow him. “Wh- what happened—if you don’t mind my asking?”

The demon chokes out a laughand it’s seven different kinds of wrong because it sounds so, so broken. Ithurts Aziraphale just to hear. “H- had a bit- bit of- well, I had a bad day,angel.”

Bad day is… well it’s anunderstatement to say the least. Aziraphale stares at the demon that’s hidingin the corner of his own bedroom, blood and feathers everywhere, and the angelwants to just Wish It All Away. The pain he can feel emanating from Crowley in palpablewaves. The suffering that underlies the pain. The blood and feathers andsalty tears Crowley has shed without consent.

He wants to just Make ItBetter but Aziraphale knows that some things cannot simply be Wished Well.

“Well then, bad daysare—well—they’re bad, as the phrase suggests,” Aziraphale says, longing toreach out and at least touch Crowley on the arm but he doesn’t. Not whenCrowley seems to barely handle his presence in the room. “But bad days doend, dear.”

Crowley’s head rises alittle from where it’s sort of tucked between knees and covered with armsadorned with torn sleeves. “What- what about bad millennia, angel? When do thoseend?”

The demon shifts and hissesin pain and Aziraphale doesn’t think, he doesn’t hesitate; he reaches out andcurls a hand around Crowley’s arm, feeling the moment the demon freezes at thecontact.

“I don’t know when thoseend, Crowley,” Aziraphale says softly, carefully, and he doesn’t remove hishand from Crowley’s arm even though he can feel the muscles twitching beneathhis fingers. He doesn’t back down because Crowley needs him now and there isNothing that will stop Aziraphale from doing what needs to be done for hisdemon.

Yes. His demon.

It’s about time Aziraphaleadmitted it to himself. Crowley is as much his as Aziraphale is Crowley’s.

“But I do know these pastsix thousand years have been a lot more tolerable when you’ve been beside me.”It’s a confession and an offering to the demon and Aziraphale feels like thescales have been tipped, the balance upset, because it’s him offeringthe reassurances and the temptings to Crowley.

But Aziraphale has alwaystempted Crowley, in his own way. He just hadn’t really noticed before.

“Whenever you weren’taround, I’d hide in my books so I could try and ignore the feeling in my chestthat clawed at me because you weren’t there to quieten it,” Aziraphalewhispers. “I felt such relief that night I saw you in the church even as Iworried over your safety because that- that ache faded away the moment I sawyou.”

The angel leans close to thedemon, resting his head on Crowley’s arm, his forehead touching torn cloth andheated skin. It draws a sound from Crowley that is so very broken in adifferent way to the keening of before. “I cannot imagine how it felt to- to nolonger know I was alive, to think I was dead,” Aziraphale continues and Crowleytrembles beneath his hand and head at the words. “To be so lost and alone andnot care anymore because- because your reason was gone. But Crowley—”Aziraphale lifts his head—noting absently that Crowley’s sunglasses weremissing—and looks the demon in the eye “—please don’t let me find out. Please.”

“I- I’m... I’m just so... tired,angel,” Crowley admits. “I’m tired of it all. I just- make it stop,” he begs,hands coming up and gripping at Aziraphale. “You used to make it stop.”The demon’s head falls forward, drops down against Aziraphale’s chest. “Pleasemake it stop.”

When angels cry the cosmoscry with them. Some angels affect the cosmos more than others. Archangels havebeen known to cause floods and water to form on planets where there once was nowater. Aziraphale has seldom cried in his life even though he has wished to attimes. Now- now Aziraphale cries [12].

The sky outside darkens andthunderclouds amass quicker than they have ever amassed. The BBC weather willcomment on how surprising it is for a thunderstorm to occur with so littlewarning but it’s just entering into September and the weather is always strangearound the end of summer. No human will know that the weather is the result ofa principality crying in pain and anguish for one who is Fallen and broken inways he has never before realised.

Aziraphale pulls Crowleyclose, carefully wrapping his arms around the demon in as gentle a way aspossible, avoiding the injuries he doesn’t quite know if he can Heal. He willtry regardless and put every ounce of will and love—it is love that he feels,why deny it now?—that Aziraphale has and He Will Heal The Fallen Angel.

Even if it ruins him to doso.

[1] It was still long enough to cause somesignificant damage to his body and wings but his core strength had remainedlargely untouched. A few cracks and gouges that he’d carefully repaired overthe years; nothing serious.

[2] So well, in fact, that he’s capable of lying to himself aboutImportant Things for eons.

[3] All six of them, in fact.

[4] They are a stain on him. A mark. Aconstant, unending reminder. Like scar tissue he can’t not see in the mirrorevery day, that he always feels and Knows is there.

[5] Aziraphale has a habit of unconsciously drawing his wings aroundhimself on the astral plane when engrossed in a book or focused on somethingrequiring his attention. The angel draws those wings close when he’s disturbedand although humans do not see them they feel an unexplained Spiritual Breezewhen the wings move when Aziraphale is startled. It’s quite endearing even ifit makes Crowley’s skin crawl at the casual use of his wings by the angel.

[6] Of course, fear of punishment by heavenand hell—mostly hell with Crowley—had made him wary and it had taken Crowleyframing the amendment in a manner that befitted Thwarting Evil for Aziraphaleto finally agree, but the idea of sharing responsibility with Crowley forsomething… it had greatly appealed to the angel. Greatly.

[7] They had spent most of their time initially comparingnotes on what they were Teaching young Warlock in order to try and make himneutral at least before their discussions had branched off into more friendlytopics and evenings were spent in a sort of enjoyable companionship neither hadexperienced before. Of course, in hindsight, the poor boy would likely needsome intensive therapy considering he wasn’t the subject of a divine prophecyand thus didn’t quite grasp some of the things Aziraphale or Crowley taughthim. Humans were frighteningly limited in that regard—but it made themwonderful at the same time; at least humans pushed their limits whilstangels and demons sort of wallowed within their constraints.

[8] Witnessing Crowley sneak children aboard Noah’s shipjust as the flood began cemented in Aziraphale’s heart that the demon is farkinder than any other demon and does not commit Evil because he is evil but rather because it’s his job.If given the freedom to choose, Aziraphale is certain Crowley would performmiracles and temptings as and when he pleases. The Arrangement solidified thatbelief and after the world didn’t end, Aziraphale has watched and waited forCrowley to broach the subject himself. But the demon has remained quiet on thematter.

[9] He choose, however, to be nice andkind.

[10] Crowley had been in the right place at the right time to receivepraise but the demon had simply been enjoying the sights. Infernal luck and allthat however had seen him credited with someone truly evil.

[11] Even this is desperate thinking by the angel—something Aziraphalewell knows. He thinks it regardless, willfully ignorant and hopeful that he’sright when he knows full well he is not.

[12] As a cherubim, Aziraphale’s power is slightlyless than that of a saraph and archangel such as Gabriel in all things saveanything to do with his duties as a principality. Crowley hasn’t cried except theday he lost Aziraphale and on that day it rained for hours in London.

#Good Omens #Inefffable Husbands #Crowley #Aziraphale #gomens #good omens fic #gomens fic #kat writes #my writing

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coralstudiies · 5 years

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Hi c. !!!! ʕ ^ᴥ^ʔ Could you do a quick how-to/ explanation of how you make your mind maps? Thank youuu ♡

ah well ok i guess i can make a more detailed one after my exams

just saying this is for english, but i think it wld work for any other language and humanities. for sciences i think it's a whole other story

my supplies:

brush pen

highlighter: mindliner (preferably same tone/colour as brush pen)

fineliner

black pen

the process:

0. this is before even mapping it out so it's step 0 HAHAHAH write down your main idea, and sub ideas and 'sub-sub' ideas on some scrap paper. for example: main idea: discrimination, sub idea: strategies to combat discrimination, sub-sub ideas: personal, social, national etc. basically u organise yourself so you don't miss out anything! and so that u know what to omit (dont cram it with words and unneccessary headers) and you'll know what you want to research on later so it saves you some time.

1. so firstly write the main idea or concept you're gonna be exploring in the middle of the page. i always do it in calligraphy and i try to make it stand out so that the moment i look at it i see the topic and i'm reminded of related ideas.

2. plonk down all the sub ideas in highlighter. for me, they usually include a combination of pros, cons, reasons for existence, harmful effects, impacts, strategies, statistics, facts, quotes etc. it all depends on the topic! like if i were to talk about development, i can have pros, cons, reasons, strategies to develop in a sustainable manner etc. but if i were to talk about discrimination, i wouldn't include the pros because what pros are there right lmao.

3. write sub-sub ideas in caps if needed, using a fineliner, and just 'swipe' over it with the same highlighter.

4. draw arrows to connect them to the main idea. this is so that you dont accidentally write onto the arrow space later

5. start building content. i like mine to go in a way of evidence/examples, explanation, further explanation. sometimes one point may have more than one sub part (evi, expl or further expl) so just branch out accordingly!

6. draw arrows to link everything!!!! tada~

so thats about it! i spend about 40mins on one mindmap but that includes some research time. i recommend you to research in advance and get an overview so that you know what you're gonna map about.

happy mindmapping ~~

p.s. if you need any other advice u can hmu

#coralstudiies #tips #mindmaps #advice

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purplesurveys · 5 years

Text

575

Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? I’m not crazy about liquid-holding stuff, but I’d go with water bottles if I had to pick. Bubblegum or cotton candy? As in, those two as flavors? Bubblegum. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I wouldn’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised if they found me unremarkable. I never recited, got average grades at the first half of grade school, and never really made an effort for the teachers to recognize me. I didn’t start taking stuff seriously till the second half of elementary. Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? I prefer to pass on the soda. Earbuds or headphones? Earphones.

Movies or TV? Movie, definitely. Favorite smell in the summer? THE BEACH!!!!!!!!! And seafood being grilled at beachside, yummmmm. Game you were best at in P.E./gym? Table tennis. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? On an average day, I skip breakfast. But when my dad is home, he always makes me eat something, and usually that’s fried eggs and hotdogs with white bread. Sometimes he’ll fry rice and pair it with leftovers from last night. Name of your favorite playlist? Right now, it’s a playlist I titled ‘things I wish I said’ and it’s dedicated to Nacho. Lanyard or key ring? My key ring is attached to my lanyard, so that I never forget both my ID and my keys when leaving for school. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Fruitella. Or anything that’s chewy and fruit-flavored (which is still weird to me, considering I hate fruits). Favorite book you had to read for school? Dekada ‘70 and Without Seeing the Dawn. Most comfortable position to sit in? Improperly.

Most frequently worn pair of shoes? I think it’s my pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers, but not sure. I don’t keep count. Ideal weather? This question is on like 1 out of 5 surveys, ugh. I like bleak and cold weather. Pencils or pens? Pens. Obsession from childhood? The TV shows Hi-5 and Spongebob. And pogs. Favorite crystal? I don’t think I have any. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Sulk and complain. Unless I’m at the beach. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sleeeeeeeeeeep in, take surveys, and stay in bed wrapped in a blanket. Five songs to describe you? I’m not feeling like anything right now, so I don’t think any of them would be able to describe me. Best way for someone to bond with you? Have samgyupsal with me :) Top 5 favorite Vines? “Come to Del Taco! They have fre...free sh...FREE SHAVACADO” “There’s only one things worse than a rapist – boom” “A child!” “No–” “T-T-T-T-T-T-T-TARGET” “Has anyone ever told you you look like Beyonce?” “...No they usually tell me I look like Shalisa” “Who the fuck is that?” “ME” “Ahhhh, stop, I coulda dropped my croissant” Ads you have stuck in your head? None of them because fuck them all. Average time you fall asleep? 10-11 PM. Sometimes a little later than 11. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Oh man I hopped on that train pretty early. I reached the very first batch of meme comics that came from 9GAG, e.g. the Y U NO guy, the FFFFFFUUUUU– guy, Forever Alone, Bad Luck Brian, the original trollface etc. Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Backpack. I don’t use the other two. Lemonade or tea? Lemonade. Last person you texted? Gabie, I think. I didn’t talk to anybody all day because depression hit bad today, so I can’t remember all that well. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jackets, they’re usually more spacious. Favorite type of jacket? Windbreakers or hoodies. Favorite scent for soap? I don’t have a preference, soap should just smell nice for me lmao. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Honestly, none of these but if I had to go with one, I’d pick sci-fi. What clothes do you sleep in? Thin and short ones, because I like feeling more cold than warm. Favorite type of cheese? FETA!!!!!!!!!!! What saying or quote do you live by? I don’t like relying on quotes. What are you currently stressed about? Right now, nothing. I’m just feeling down in general. Favorite font? I use Proxima Nova for all my reviewers and school notes, because to me it looks pleasant. It’s actually the default font that my org uses to maintain our branding, and since I’ve worked on a lot of documents for the org, the habit of using Proxima just carried over to my irl files and I ended up liking it. What did you learn from your first job? Proofread every single goddamn thing you write 10, 15 times. From internship. I thought I was decent until my emails were bombarded with copy edits. Favorite fairy tale? None. Favorite tradition? Like, in general? My elementary/high school has a tradition of extending recess break and giving away either free ice cream or slices of our homemade tarts for the feast day of the Assumption of Mary. It’s always one of the most exciting times of the school year. Talent you're proud of having? Reading people. It’s more of a skill than talent, but still. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I hate questions like this that force me to be creative, so I’ll pass. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? No thanks. Character you relate to? Monica Geller. Favorite website from your childhood? Y8, probably. And YouTube. Any scars? [trigger warning: self harm] One on my eyebrow, another on one of my toes, and I still have my scars from when I cut myself a few weeks back. Favorite flower? I like any except anthurium. Any good luck charms? Not really. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Rootbeer/cola and buko. Left or right handed? Right. Least favorite pattern? I dunno if I have a least favorite one... I don’t really pay attention. Worst subject in school? Like, my least favorite among the ones I’m currently taking? Probably layout class. Favorite weird flavor combo? This isn’t a flavor but I’m willing to have mayo with a bunch of other food. When did you lose your first tooth? I was either in Kinder 2 or in Prep, so I was 5-6. Favorite potato food? French fries. Gas station coffee or grocery store sushi? I’ll take the sushi. The gas stations here look so filthy. Earth tones or jewel tones? Earth tones. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. PC or console gaming? Consoles. I’ve never played on PC before. Writing or drawing? Writing. Podcasts or talk radio? Barbie or Polly Pocket? Fairy tales or mythology? I hate both. Cookies or cupcakes? Your greatest fear? Being humiliated in front of a crowd and losing my loved ones are two big ones. Your greatest wish? To have a lot of money later on in life haha. Who would you put before everyone else? G. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Overhead. Nicknames? Robyn, Byn, Reben, Rolayn. Favorite season? The season where it rains all day and it generally gets slightly colder. We don’t really have a name for it other than the wet season. Favorite app on your phone? Twitter. What is your desktop background? It’s one of the default Apple backgrounds but I picked the landscape that has a pinkish hue. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Four. Favorite historical era? I like all of them but in terms of social history, probably the Victorian era and the 1900s-1950s. There are some very interesting anecdotes about the way they used to live in terms of cuisine, sanitation, education, etc.

#survey #surveys

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kiliosthestarmaker · 6 years

Note

Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2. Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me.

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6. Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7. Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8. Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9. Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12. Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS

ADORE

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22. Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23. Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24. Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25. Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26. Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27. Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.”

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28. Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29. Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30. Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31. Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32. Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents??

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37. The first sentence or your current WIP

“Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44. How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45. How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47. Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

#kilios answers #my king 💜🐺🎃💜#has killed me #writer's asks

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lesbianbruabba · 6 years

Note

all of them!

Anon you are trying to kill me but also like..thank you

1: Full name

I’m not stupid, I’m not putting my full real name out. lol

2: Age

Eighteen

3: 3 Fears

Being rejected, depression consuming my life, going deaf or blind

4: 3 things I love

My brother, my friends, music

5: 4 turns on

Gentle caresses, dirty talk, teasing, kink stuff

6: 4 turns off

Uhhh. Pedophilia, scat, incest, racial degradation? I’m going for the most hardcore bad stuff lol

7: My best friend

I have a lot but for simplicity’s sake my bestest is @lettiehigh

8: Sexual orientation

Bisexual

9: My best first date

Lol

10: How tall am I

5′2. correct question is how short am I

11: What do I miss

Special ham sandwiches

12: What time were I born

I don’t fucking know

13: Favourite color

Pink

14: Do I have a crush

I have multiple.

15: Favourite quote

“They don’t sell cheese at the jewelry store” - my husband Felony Steve

16: Favourite place

My bedroom

17: Favourite food

Chicken nuggets from a hong kong mcdonald’s. They taste like shit in scotland

18: Do I use sarcasm

Sometimes but I’m not that good at it

19: What am I listening to right now

No More Time - Flor

20: First thing I notice in new person

Eyes

21: Shoe size

6.5

22: Eye color

Dark brown/black

23: Hair color

Dark brown/black. it’s gotten darker over the last few years

24: Favourite style of clothing

Frilly or bondage-y. Sometimes both at once

25: Ever done a prank call?

Nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

RPDR fic pen name

28: Favourite movie

RENT

29: Favourite song

Right now it’s Felony Reunion by Felony Steve

30: Favourite band

Waterparks, flor, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, you can’t make me pick

31: How I feel right now

Lorny

32: Someone I love

My baby brother

33: My current relationship status

Single

34: My relationship with my parents

Rocky but overall it’s fine. It’s like an ongoing negotiation but I know they love me really.

35: Favourite holiday

I went to England when I was 14 with my school.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

None

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

Nipple piercings, I want a hip tattoo on my right hip because I haven’t self-harmed there and it’s a bit of a ‘sacred space’ now. someday I want a lyric tattoo, a flower tattoo (roses pls) and a watercolor one. I follow so many tattoo instagrams and they all look so pretty

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

At the very very beginning to make an aesthetic pastel blog. Got into roleplaying for a couple of years, made some good friends, some sad things happened, moved onto rpdr fic, evolved into the mess it is now

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Good morning snaps from my brother and copyright from @samrull

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Not a thing I’ve done in a long time?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

Depends on whether I do makeup or not. 10 minutes if I don’t have to, 20-30 if I do.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

Nope. I don’t shave unless there’s a special event.

45: Where am I right now?

My bedroom in Edi

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

I don’t drink :)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level most of the time. Unless I am feeling particularly apathetic/anhedonic/depressed

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Back in Hong kong yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

Dan and Phil show, possible trip to Copenhagen, possibly seeing flor, doing fashion design or Danish at uni next year, improving my fluency in languages, my brother visiting Edi, going home and seeing all my friends, going home and seeing my teachers I miss them so much oh my god, possibly seeing one of my crushes again!!

Oh and I’m going to a convention on sunday so that’s pretty great too!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yeah my brother we’re a bit too open

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

depends on how often I leave my room/spend time in others’ company that I’m not comfortable with.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Tuesday at 7:30 pm

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

Cool, thumbs up dude. he kisses well

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Yeah probably. lbr I trust people too easily

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I didn’t move from my bed much. but! I got a lot of drawing done and I studied some Polish so that’s a win. fuck you for making me think negatively :)

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

there’s this girl in denmark i owe a very long apology to. her. and maybe her cat.

57: What do I think about most?

My crushes, analyzing whether I have a pattern/type of crush, random etymologies, whether Russian is harder than Polish or I have a warped bias, whether my friends care about me or am I overestimating my place in their hearts

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I can say thank you in like 15 languages that counts right?

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

The wolf from little red riding hood

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

In front bc I am shite at taking photos

61: What was the last lie I told?

my meds are making me better

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting oh my god

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I sometimes hope ghosts exist. idk about aliens

64: Do I believe in magic?

65: Do I believe in luck?

yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Not that bad for scotland tbh but chilly for late April

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Essentials of Polish verbs and grammar or something. google it

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

no???? who tf likes that what the fuck

69: Do I have any nicknames?

This one friend I used to have called me Christababe. Also people at school called me Lily

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Self harm cut from a few weeks ago. Got infected (it’s fine now)

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Depends

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

With a tongue sure but not my own lmao

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

Yes a lot of it because my closet is next to my bed :)

74: Favourite animal?

Unicorn

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating ice cream and surfing the drag race reddit

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I don’t know???? Johnson?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

78: How can you win my heart?

Don’t manipulate me.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Married to Felony Steve

80: What is my favorite word?

Felony

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

Like my faves? @rippling-waves @samrull @lettiehigh @veronicasanders @lecafenoirx

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Listen to Waterparks they have the best music. -dabs-

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Fluency in all languages

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“are you in love with me”. if asked by certain people. alternatively “do you like girls” asked by other certain people.

86: What is my current desktop picture?

DDLC fanart

87: Had sex?

No but close

88: Bought condoms?

No but I have one from the Hive from a fresher’s package

89: Gotten pregnant?

no dear lord

90: Failed a class?

Nope and I hope not

91: Kissed a boy?

Yes

92: Kissed a girl?

No, I wish

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

94: Had job?

Yes, barista and factory worker

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Kind of? Not really? It was more of an argument but we’re friends now. I was a stupid thirteen year old

97: Had sex in public?

98: Played on a sports team?

Lol, tell another one

99: Smoked weed?

100: Did drugs?

No, will not

101: Smoked cigarettes?

No, I hate smoking

102: Drank alcohol?

I had a few sips of white wine that were absolutely DISGUSTING

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

104: Been overweight?

Currently am

105: Been underweight?

I wish

106: Been to a wedding?

Yeah of distant relatives and teachers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Try 14

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

I don’t watch TV, There’s no tv in my student hall and back home the TV is only for news

109: Been outside my home country?

Yep too many times tbh

110: Gotten my heart broken?

Unrequited love-wise yes

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Yes and spent the whole time reading (I was a kid and my mum couldn’t/didn’t find someone to babysit)

112: Broken a bone?

No, thank god

113: Cut myself?

Yes, trying to quit it

114: Been to prom?

Yep and I sang on stage too!

115: Been in airplane?

Yep

116: Fly by helicopter?

No and not interested tbh

117: What concerts have I been to?

Waterparks, Avril Lavigne, All Time Low

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yes, quite a few times now

119: Learned another language?

Try multiple

120: Wore make up?

Yeah! Trying to do it more

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

No, too late for that now

122: Had oral sex?

No but I want to

123: Dyed my hair?

No but I want to

124: Voted in a presidential election?

No, HK doesn’t have presidential elections

125: Rode in an ambulance?

126: Had a surgery?

127: Met someone famous?

Famous in Hong Kong yes. Worldwide no. I’ve met the UoE principal though

edit: Iza reminded me that I’ve met both Courtney Act and Sasha Velour!

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Yes but not like…creepy. for drawing reference I’ve gone through a lot of people’s social media this morning lol

129: Peed outside?

When I was like 4

130: Been fishing?

Not that I can recall

131: Helped with charity?

Yeah

132: Been rejected by a crush?

No because I’m too much of a wimp to confess. Maybe a few years later

133: Broken a mirror?

Yep, the one I use to wear my contacts (when I used to wear contacts)

134: What do I want for birthday?

Sex and liposuction and a corset and maybe someone to love me and a full happy day with no depression or anxiety

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I don’t want kids. But if I did have kids, here is a list of nice names: Gracie, Ljudmila, Nico, Agneta (this one sounds really fucking familiar but I don’t know why), Anthony, Selene, Kristoff, James

136: Was I named after anyone?

No. My Chinese name means to have manners and to be gentle lmao. My English name is literally just the first thing I blurted out when the teacher asked me for my name. Wednesday was a name I look after Wednesday Addams though.

137: Do I like my handwriting?

I hate my Chinese and English penmanship it looks like shit but my Cyrillic looks GREAT

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

Barbie, I had Genevieve from the 12 dancing princesses

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Drag race, b99, ASOUE, the good place

140: Where do I want to live when older?

In Edinburgh

141: Play any musical instrument?

The ukulele and I think I still remember a bit of guitar

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

Cutting. Most of my scars are from cutting. A few from childhood bruises

143: Favourite pizza toping?

Cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

Sometimes

145: Am I afraid of heights?

all the time

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

A lot worse than sneaking out buddy

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yeah

148: What I’m really bad at

controlling my fucking feelings and not falling for peple

149: What my greatest achievments are

Sewing my prom dress, making an animation, juggling learning 3 languages (slowly) at once, surviving high school because honestly I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

That bisexuality doesn’t exist

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Depends on how much i win but assuming it’s a big amount of money, split it and donate a third to charity, give a third to my parents, split the rest of it in quarters and give three quarter to my dad for investments and spend the last quarter

152: What do I like about myself

I have pretty hair and nice tits and I can draw (not well but I can draw), and I have a bit of talent in learning languages and fashion design

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@samrull without a doubt

154: Something I fantasise about

My brain giving me a good yummy serotonin

155: Any question you’d like?

….anon you didn’t put a question (this happens every goddamn time i s2g)

Thanks for the ask though this kept me occupied for the good part of an hour :)

#answered #anon #about me

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visanimus · 7 years

Note

Aizawa finding out his place is haunted by a ghost that isn't really trying to harm him more like it does chores and stuff like that? Like comedic room mate more than anything lmao

I made ghost too sassy. And I use the Japanese name for the hero academy, instead of the ridiculous U-A

| Aizawa Shouta

‘Don’t forget to take your clothes to a dry cleaner, unless you want to smell like you haven’t bathe in 3 days. Which is questionable since I can’t smell, and yet, here I am lecturing you on basic human hygiene.’ 3:30 AM

Aizawa read the note that appeared on the notepad on his kitchen table. It was written quickly, as if the writer needed to share that information urgently. Apparently urgent enough that they even placed the time in which the note was written as well.

“Oh, have I offended your sense of smell?” He dead pan and watched as the pen picked itself up and started to write a rather sassy and witty retort that would no doubt not ruffle his feathers as it would with others.

‘I can’t smell because if I could, I bet I could smell you half a mile away. I usually count the days so I won’t forget your basic human hygiene routine since I…..I don’t have to anymore….’ you dropped the pen as you trailed off as you didn’t wish to continue talking about this topic and left to another room. It wasn’t as if you had any place to be or had others expecting you any time soon.

Well it seems that his ghostly companion has been saddened by his blunt statement. He refrained from rolling his eyes at what would happen. You will make things float around in his apartment and try to scare him before putting things back to the way they were before, though in different system than his, and sulk for a time. Meaning you didn’t do any chores or help him out around the house unless he apologized.

Shouta remembered the first night he came home and saw all his belongings being moved around by an invisible source. There had been a sticky note upon his folded laundry, ‘Don’t forget there’s another load in the dryer! Take them out when you hear the timer please, or else you rush wrinkling your clothes :) ’ and a small drawing of what he thought was suppose to be him. He blinked at the sticky note for a few seconds before he saw the same color note in his kitchen, his bedroom, and even in this living room with small comments on how he should eat healthier, stock up on certain things and a few jokes that would make other people laugh.

For a being that was suppose to haunt him and chase him out of your home, you had a warming prescence that welcomed him to stay. If anything, you were more of a childlike, parental friend that loved to tease him just like his highschool friend, Yamada Hizashi, who was also a teacher at Yuuei Academy.

A grin pulled at his lips when he remembered when Hizashi busted through his door and almost stayed the night until his friend saw a floating basket and clothing being folded by no one when Hizashi peeked into Shota’s room. The girlish scream almost deafened him, but it was more than worth it when he witnessed a pair of gloves and floating scarf try to comfort his coworker who only coward and tried speaking but stuttered out, “There…. There’s a g…ghost???!” Hizashi’s voice ended in a whimper when he saw a floating hand come closer to his shoulder and gently pat him in a concern way.

Closing his eyes, he could hear Hizashi’s scream again reverberating in his skull as the memory felt as vivid as ever. When he opened his eyes he remembered that you weren’t in the room anymore and that he would need to do something for you in order to get you can down and go back to your teasing ways. He would never admit that he enjoyed your childish teasing, but it wasn’t something that he had gotten use to after the first week.

One morning you decided to make him breakfast and cut out a message with his eggs and bacon on his pancakes. ‘Oi! Wake up lazy bones or else you’ll be late for work!’ The food was good. It was something he hadn’t had since he was a child but he felt you throw a jello block at him that morning too as he drank his coffee. Though the jello block fell onto his pancakes he never thought he would smile at your playful action, as your apron appeared frozen and halfway across the room, until he was left laughing with tears in his eyes at your attempt of running for your life.

Shaking his head at the memories you’ve given him, he got up from his seat on the chair and left to the nearby store that sold a few confectionaries that he had no sweet tooth for at the moment. He picked out a few that would hopefully appease your soul or whatever would eat it as it disappeared in the air from what he would guess as your mouth to your stomach. The cashier tried their best to talk to Shouta and inquire why he was buying so much sweets. He dryly answered it was for his roommate that he upset earlier before walking back home.

He looked up and saw a person standing in the room that faced the street. That must’ve been you. When you were alive. ‘It would’ve been nice to have known them when they were alive.’ he mused as he walked up to his residence and walked into the kitchen to lay out the sweets on the table. The notepad and pen were still there. With a small hum he tore out the page from earlier and threw it away.

He wrote, 'I’m sorry. Here’s some food. Eat or do whatever you do to eat it.’ before going to take a small nap on the couch of his living room as he suddenly felt sleepy.

A cold drip fell on to his face and his charcoal eyes snapped open to see frosting covering his celling in a message, 'Awe, thanks so much Shouta! I forgive you and my name is _____. Nice to finally meet you." He looked over at the empty table in the kitchen before nodding to himself and walked towards his study to grade papers.

"I'm not going to clean that up." He deadpan calmly only for his ears to be met with the echos of you laughter filling the house. He turned to see you waving at him from the doorway of the living room, a small washcloth in hand before smiling at him and walking away. Yeah this was just another day in his life now.

#boku no hero academia #bnha imagines #aizawa shota #aizawa shouta

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woodsdyke · 8 years

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40 to 50 for whatever oc u choose!

OKAY im back on the laptop so now i can answer these!! gonna answer these all for my boy liam (to those who don’t know/remember him, my redhead 1920s bootlegger)

40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

typically he’s probably going to a club or party with his friends aurora, josie, and jackson, or sometimes olivia? they try to convince him to wear something nice but typically he just wears the single black suit he owns regardless of how long its been since he’s washed it

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

he’s very hotheaded and he knows it, so typically he removes himself from the situation and goes outside for a while or something before he says somethhing he doesn’t mean. he’s perfectly ok with getting angry but doesn’t like involving other people in it unless they deserve it

42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

a BUNCH lmao because he’s notoriously self-destructive and bad at keeping himself out of harm’s way. he got a few from his time in the military, but most are from work-related mishaps or pissing people off at bars and getting stabbed

43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

oh BOY uh. liam has no brain to mouth filter whatsoever so i don’t think he could easily pick out one thing he said that was the most offensive? he’s a sweetheart but sometimes he just. says things. without thinking about how they sound aloud. conversationally talking about how hot his boyfriend’s cousin is, to his boyfriend, is probably pretty high on the list tho

44. How does your character react/accept criticism?

if it’s from someone he cares about he’ll attempt to actually take it to heart and do something about it, but if not he’ll probably say ‘ok yeah u right’ and then pretend he didn’t hear you

45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

liam will eat absolutely anything that won’t eat him first. i don’t know if he even has any opinions on pineapple pizza but he’d eat it

46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

that sounds like a terrible thing to give this man??? he would absolutely try it out to see how it works and then, after he’s stabbed himself in the damn leg or something, try it AGAIN to make sure it actually works

47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

yes! he does a lot of pen and watercolor art, mainly things like landscapes and architecture, but also portraits sometimes. he doodles a lot of people when bored, usually people he knows

48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

his dad was a fisherman who died when he was just a kid, so he doesn’t remember him very well. his mom was very well-intentioned but also an ill single parent overwhelmed by raising 7 children, so she was kinda… distant. as a result, liam became very self-reliant from a young age, and also having no one around to supervise him (he and his twin were the oldest kids) made it a lot easier for him to make a bunch of stupid, risky decisions. this hasn’t changed much since then

49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

oh absolutely, he loves chocolate bars and hard candies and anything he can get his hands on. he doesn’t really get sugar rushes tho, he can eat a ton of candy/sugar and be fine

50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

the thing about liam is that he spent so much his life with suicidal ideation at the back of his mind that he. probably wouldn’t be too concerned? and even now, when he’s in a much better place emotionally, he’s still self-destructive and nows that could get him killed at some point. he lives in the moment so i think he’d just kinda accept his fate- the issue is that he now has people in his life who really matter to him and would be affected by his death, which would leave him rly conflicted

#oc chatter #old man yells at cloud #thanks these were fun!!!#the-man-of-mystery #liam

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t-shrt · 4 years

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100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

#tag #tag meme #tags

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