#too easyyyy

[partybarty]

AUSTRALIA RETAIN THE ASHES 🇦🇺🔥

[ladymacbeths]

this had to be real

[alltheglowingeyess]

my nostril is already looking to be the most annoying piercing to heal 😔

[quirkthieves]

not me getting emo over a thread thats barely started

[tobysbliss]

IVE LEARNED ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF OUR FIRST SONG FOR MARCHING BAND !!!!

[whoaaaoaoo]

DUDEEEEEEE

[gnaga37]

in related news. i'll update the texture packs tomorrow they're still in 1.19 😬

[itsrlymine]

Also, (this is anon with the rapper boyfriend who thought he was the daddy and started acting a fool on social media only to find out it wasn’t his—goofy 🙄) I’m manifesting other men to be in my rotation. Yes I’m a ho3 and no I don’t care (to anyone who tries to slut shame me cause yall get a lil bold on here) . But if you have any tips on how to juggle 6 men on the roster, I would greatly appreciate it. 💖

Also can I get 🩰 anon, cause ur the only one I can share my manifestation success stories/ journey with openly.

🩰. Babe. Ever time you send something I immediately start laughing wtf. You aren’t a hoe for having a roster who told you that???😭😭😭😭 Add more for all I care! I don’t really have tips but I would just start talking from the perspective of you being able to manage all of them. Even if you call them Thing 1-6. Something like

“Damn, I can’t believe I was trippin about dating 6 guys like wtf lemme add more fr bc this is too easyyyy. I need a challenge ughhh.”

Also yea that one boi goofy asf

Thank you for feeling like you can share with me. I’m all here for your stories💖💗💖

[wineonmytshirt]

*ahem* people like you always want back, the love they gave away. and people like me wanna believe you, when you say you've chaaAAanged. the more i think about it now, the less i knOOOOOW. all i know is that you drove us.. OFF THE ROAD. (StaY) all you had to do was stay. had me in the palm of your hand, then, why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in HEY now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late. well. it could've been EASYYYY all you had to do was (STAY) All you had to do was (stay) All you had to do was (SSStay), All you had to do was (staaaay), All you had to do was stay. here are you now, calling me up, but i don't know what TO SAY. i've been picking up the pieces of the MESS YOU MAAADE. people like you, always want back, the love they pushed aside. but people like me are gone forever. when you say goodBYE. HEY. all you had to do was stay. had me in the palm of your hand, then, why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in?!?!? HEY. now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late, well, it could've been easy. all you had to do was (STAY) ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS (STAY) ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS (STAY) ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAAAASletmeremindyou this was WHAT YOU WANTED!!!! you ended it. you were all i wanted. but not like this. not likeeee this. not like this. oh all you had to do was- HEY ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY HAD ME IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND THEN WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND LOCK ME OUT WHENI LET YOU INNNN, HEY, NOW YOU SAY YOU WANT IT BACK NOW THAT IT'S JUST TOO LATE , WELL , IT COULD'VE BEEN EASY all you had to do was stay ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY All you had to do was (stay) All you had to do was (stay) All you had to do was (stay) All you had to do was (stay)

[indigos-stardust]

New Four swords fic- Chapter 1

*I'd appreciate if u read it on a03 because that's where my tag/summary is but if you cant for whatever reason, I have it below this cut* thanks for any boost and comment <3

Roaming packs of monsters, ugh.  Usually, monsters tend to be attracted or even magically appear from places with plenty of darker energy. It could be some cursed and abandoned temple or some pit where someone died horribly. Maybe, there’d just be one huge monster claiming an area and its magical stink would attract a bunch of underlings.

Monsters aren’t exactly pack animals like wolves. They just follow whichever one’s the biggest and act purely based on greed and violence. They’re happy to follow orders as long as they get their cut. Which is usually the promise of fresh flesh. 

The scouts said the monsters were following paths. On a schedule. Almost like they’re planning and guarding. That…isn’t right. Something is definitely up. 

The worst part of it is that a lot of the paths they’re taking seem to be cutting off a random average sized fishing village to the south. Lutelin Village. Yeah, Green can see why they had been specifically called to handle this one.

Whatever they’re going to eventually face, it’ll probably seem like even an experienced knight’s worst nightmare. But they can handle it. After all, they’d handled far more with far less. This time they even have armor! The odds are far more in favor since their… “adventure.” Green can’t help but fidget with his fingers anyways.

He’s probably just out of practice, sure they had helped fight against the general excess of monsters but that was just dealing with monsters sprawled out everywhere. Not a real proper fight with layers to get to the final baddie. His gut flares with a hidden anxiety. 

It’ll be alright though, the others are literally following his back, and as much as it sucks that those villagers are probably having a hard time with travelling due to the monsters- This will be good for them! Well, Green and his uh, other selves, anyways. Besides, why would you possibly want “rest and relaxation” when you can just crush the ugly mug of some monster?

Okay, maybe he is spending too much time with Blue.

Either way they definitely have better odds! They’ll just find each band (two or three?) and take them down, easy peasy. 

Every step is going to take him closer after all, might as well keep his shoulders straight and his eyes on the horizon.  

Soft grass and weeds dance in the foothills, with a chilly autumn air as their partner. As much as the others are way too gripey in the early morning, Green knows getting them up early is definitely the right call! The soft crispness of the morning air energizes him with every breath! Practically music, in his humble opinion. 

Behind him, he can hear another kind of music. A playful punch to the shoulder, a content sigh, and a little laugh. Conversation that starts and pauses, only to start again. In and out, natural and welcoming. They have his back. 

They finally stop at the top of a particularly large hill; this is the spot the scouters said they’d seen the monsters the most. If Green looks to the West, he can see the beginning treeline of a dark and confusing magic-filled Lost Woods. He shudders. From what Vio described about the woods, it definitely doesn’t seem like the ideal spot for a stroll. Compared to their “adventure” and all they’ve experienced, the next few days will be easyyyy. 

They’ve barely settled into their spot when Vio, ever the watchful one, already spots a band of monsters practically marching together. A very large band of very angry looking monsters. Nearly time to fight. A cliffside looms in the distance, with the monsters in between them and it. 

“I’d say, I think we’re dealing with about eight or so stalfoes, two spear moblins, oh you’ve got to be kidding me at least two dozen,” Green squints, “uh, tiny plant things?”

Strange little hobbling plant monsters, with sharp teeth and leaves coming from a single bud supported by two stumpy legs, covered the ground near the other monsters. 

“Tiny plant things?’”

=====

For a place full of nothing but rolling hills, Vio sure is having quite a bit of difficulty finding enough room to fight. It’s ridiculous honestly, he and Green were supposed to take care of the stalfoes by directly fighting against them. Meanwhile, Blue and Red were meant dealing with those pesky small monsters that keep trying to bite their ankles! Or jump into their faces. It’s a bit hard to fight several monsters just taller than you while dealing with a bunch of faces full of teeth trying to lunge at you, afterall.

Not to mention, once they finally get in semi-decent positions the moblins thrust their giant axes right in the middle and scatter everyone all over again! He can hear the annoying squish and splatter of Blue’s hammer smashing into another one. 

Red’s fire rod is great at helping to keep the moblins away, but while you would think it’d be great for its intended purpose of burning those DAMN little plants monsters- All it really does is make all the grass around them catch on fire, not harming the stalfoes, and force them to bolt to a patch of rocks while they’re being chased. Of course, the little abominations climb up the stalfoes to stay safe from the fire. Fighting on the bumpy ground only makes things worse in their favor. He really wishes the darn things would be the ones stumbling and struggling for balance instead of themselves.  

Wait… This is a far rockier area- He can feel the rattling bones hit his shield once more as he grunts to shove it off. They all need to be knocked down. With the bit of distance he looks around, and there . A pile of rocks, leading up to a cliff. The cliff is extremely uneven at the top, but there is just enough clear space for a person at the top! 

Perhaps, possibly, it had been a bit of a.. Risky endeavor. The second there’s the smallest opening, he yells out, “Watch out for a minute!” and bolts to the cliff side. Ignoring Blue’s very p*ssed off , “h-HEY! Where the Hell are you going?!!” and Green’s surprise as he keeps on running. Every thump of his feet pushing off the earth ringing in his ears. Or maybe that’s just his heartbeat.

Just as he’s starting to climb up he can hear the rattling of a stalfoe and feel the bruising pain of those small monsters trying to reach his flesh under the armor. I just need to keep going , he thinks as he finishes pushing himself up and begins scrambling  for a new foothold as he simultaneously tries to shake off the miniature snapping beasts. Good thing his ears are protected by the chainmail underneath his cap. 

The crash and shattering of bones with a string of swears behind him urge him to go even further up. When the battle’s over, Blue is probably going to get him next. He hadn’t sounded particularly pleased about Vio, “DITCHING THEM WITHOUT WARNING LIKE A B****H*SS,” or whatever. Despite his current height bringing him farther from the battle ground, he can practically hear Green shout, “ LANGUAGE!!” in the middle of battle.

Finally, just as he nears the top he manages to shake the last of those damn pests off his leg and let his heaving lungs rest, if only for a second. Right, this needs to be quick. Forcing himself up, still struggling to breathe from the chaotic climb, Vio readies his bow. 

While the experience of fighting various types of monsters, for hours on their own, certainly gave them a lot of skill in adapting to the situation he has to admit—the items they gained, namely his fairy blessed bag of endless arrows, are also a huge plus. Sure, they aren’t as strong as a well crafted bow, but they are endless . In fact, he’d figured out that if he shoots two at once, even if that took a while to master, it’d do the same amount of damage!

He smirks to himself, aiming straight at a stalfoes that is creeping behind Green. With a snap, the stalfoe falls to the ground. The chaos of the battle field, swarming the others with monsters, moving from place to place… it’s familiar; it is a refreshing challenge. Others might’ve balked at the daunting task, but Vio is looking forward to it. It’s time to show off.

With the constant barrage of arrows knocking out stalfoes, allowing Red and Blue more room to work with and giving Green a much needed relief , the numbers begin to thin. He’s even able to start getting hits on the charging moblins, stunning them just long enough for a quick burn or slash on them. There are only a few straggling plant monsters as well. 

It’s wrapping up. Vio observes as the Moblin he shot finally falls to the ground. It is time to regroup. Or it would’ve been. 

He doesn’t know what he feels first. He can’t even think to process it. The tension of every single muscle spasming. Millions of needles endlessly searing into his flesh. From the inside and outside. Little pieces of him, like miniature marbles bursting outward. The shock of the constant repeated force fracturing and fracturing. The burning in his chest, he can’t breathe. 

It’s so, so much, it’s too much. Without a single thought, other than the sensation of indescribable pain, he falls silently down the cliff. Even as his body crashes down onto the unforgiving rocks it still spasms. Red screams before Blue and Green even see what happened.

—--------------------------------

I can’t! No, no, no, no, no, no!!!! Red can’t panic right now, but by Hylia does he want to scream and selfishly look away-

It was horrible, and he saw every second of it. He had stepped back for just a moment, to chug a magic energizing potion. They still had more monsters to fight, after all, and his magic stores were nearly drained from using the rod so much. But then he saw a spark to his right, all the way up where Vio had gone. A sparkling, bright white yellow light, blasting into Vio’s back. Now, he watches.  

Vio looks like he’s choking, like every single bit of him was choking and dying . His piercing scream is silently cut off, and then he falls . He falls and falls until his back hits the rocks and he goes stumbling down, blood splattering against the rocks. Red doesn’t want to know where it’s all coming from. And then Vio is there, sprawled on the ground, a horrible finale. He’s still screaming. 

No, no Vio isn’t the one who’s screaming. He can see his bloody face against the dirt. Red is. 

Blue grabs his arm, nearly shaking him as he tells him to LOOK before he runs off to Vio. Red’s shaking, then he follows Green’s startled eyes they lead back to the top of the cliff. He can only stare as a hulking Darknut trudges behind a row of stubby moblin archers, and even more stalfoes that have already begun jumping off to attack them. Oh, and a bunch of tektites. Because, well, why not at this point?

 Red usually tries to stay optimistic, because you can’t get anything done if you always have a bad attitude all the time for no reason but- Honestly? He’s pretty sure he hates EVERYTHING right now. It’s, it’s alright though- They, they’ve got him- Well, well they all would if Vio was down. But, it isn’t the time to focus on that, they have to keep them away from Vio and defeat them! 

Just because he’s terrified that Vio could be dying this very second, doesn’t mean he can just start crying when they need him! He will go on, and he will be hopeful! Because Green and Blue need him, and they trust him to at least support them! Red refuses to let them down. Even if he really wants to go cry in a hole right now. 

Green screams at Blue, “ DON’T MOVE HIM! We need to get them away from him, Red get here and create a blast! Cut them off!”

Red’s already sprinting. Blue’s hammer smashes into another stunned skull from Green’s boomerang. They’re working to get the monsters away from Vio. The second he arrives the entire earth THUDS as the colossal Darknut finally joins the battle. It’s beady eyes, under its helmet land on Red. 

“HEYYYY!!!, come here you, uh, you ugly face!!!” The monster trudges forward, away from Vio and towards him. The Colossal Axe glistens, ready to slice into him in seconds. 

“Yeahh!” Red waves his fire rod, sparkling in the burning sunlight, like a shiny fish in front of a starved beast. “Come here!!!”

The axe whizzes through the air with the speed of a bolt of lightning, ready to spear him into two. Red barely dodges. Before the monstrosity can take an even more petrifying swing, Green’s magical boomerang connects. The powerful thing freezes the beast for a valuable 5 seconds. 

Within those 5 seconds a few things happen. A small series of whistles rings throughout the battle field within seconds, a code that only they know.  During their quest, they had learned that just yelling out to each other with their own plans always ended up poorly. Maybe, they were all just too stubborn in their own plans, but it definitely wasn’t helped by the fact they could barely hear each other at times. Sensitive Hylian ears or not, in the midst of battles words become drowned out easily. 

Green’s message, a mix of quick patterns, order: B-G- Core Threats & Close Combat- R- Long Distance Quick. Blue and Green would take care of the strongest enemies and the ones that required close combat. Red would take care of the archers,as fast as possible so he could provide them aid. He could run and prepare ahead just on instinct before he even processed it. It was a mercy, afterall… Every second in a battle is precious, especially with someone left in total vulnerability. 

Red breathes in, the blins are readying their bows.  Then exhales, a small yet vicious blast of fire spirals forward causing at least two of them to shriek as they desperately try to put themselves out. His shield is already out by the time the other three’s arrows have hit his shield. As much as Red would prefer to shoot more and scorch them while going in and out, that just wasn’t an option. The best way to stop them from shooting far out into the others, was to get in the way before they could do that. 

Red forces his way through with his shield to break their line and immediately his sword lunges straight into the throat of one of those wretched things. He has to take care of the other monsters, but Red let’s himself smile a moment at the sign of the bubbling blood. Good . He hoped that was the one that shot Vio. 

He has to dodge back quickly in the next moment though, despite the moblins having nothing but bows and arrows, that didn’t make them useless in the slightest. While the armor would definitely protect him from slashes it certainly wouldn’t protect him from their nasty claws aiming at his throat and eyes. 

He hacks away at another one that leapt out in front of him before he even got the chance to orient himself. Keep it steady, keep the pace and breathe. Red tries to slash at one of the monster’s belly, but he’s off balance by one of the burnt ones slashing at his leg! I really need to do better!! Red mentally slapped himself, how’d that one even get there? He seriously needed to keep track of everything or else he’d be hit in his blind spot again. Next time may not be so lucky. His free foot crushes the bastard's neck as he blocks more scrabbling claws away with his shield. 

Red is skewering the one that he had shoved off when he sees the two remaining unburnt monsters dashing toward him with arrows in their hands. What the hell? Oh, the arrows were sparkling yellow with the same crackling sound as a bomb about to burst. It was familiar. Vio . 

All three are charging and from the looks of it they’re trying to trap him with two heading up to his sides and the first one straight in front of him. Red charges right back at the right one bashing into it’s skull with his sword and spinning around, sword first, to face the others. It’s BURNING-  

His sword clumsily sliced into an arm, but the arrows- Those arrows, the moment of contact of it against his own sword make his arm convulse in pain as he yells out. Red’s sword is on the ground. The monster, reeling from its own pain, slashes back at him. Thankfully his armor prevents it from truly getting him. It’ll definitely bruise though. The pain threatens to bring him down, but gasping for air with teary eyes he forces his wobbly legs up anyways. Like the lightning wizzrobe- This doesn’t make sense- Oh great fairies please-

Red knows the dangers of magical exhaustion, he’d lived through it several times on their quest. Vio’s words echoed in his mind, “ Take care to not overdo it! Potions may provide a great boost and aid in recovery, but your body still needs time. You’re exhausted… Green was right about how dangerous it is, besides-” and then Vio softly grinned, “ If you’re too tired who’s going to keep us going? We need your laughter, alright?”

He can already feel the aching soreness creeping on the edge of his fingers. He grabs the rod anyways, and this time there’s a blast. Red doesn’t know quite how it’s happening, but the strange arrows seem to make the flames stronger. They topple onto the Earth and the last half-dead burnt straggler has finished crawling its way to him. Red’s sword in his uninjured hand stabs into the beast’s guts with a wet sound. It dies slowly, scraping at his feet desperate to fight until it's inevitable death. Then, just like the others it rapidly deteriorates into a puddle of steaming filth on the ground. 

[lynxfrost13]

HI LYNX!! 5, 6, 8 & 27 forr officer yeong:} for 27 if we had to choose emojis for her and elster like twt ppl does for ships which ones would u choose..

HI RENE!! Officer Yeong time fuck yes!!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

EASYYYY this one:

I’m literally making an Ariane playlist rn and this was the first song I put on there I think abt it in relation to her so much. If I had the patience and energy I’d make an animatic of her to this bc I see it so clearly in my brain!!

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We’re both artists!! And we’re both queer and were bullied in school for being weird 💪😎

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Tbh there’s nothing I’ve seen that I necessarily despise I think that’s too strong of a word!! However I’m not the biggest fan of interpretations of her where she’s a complete sweetie purely bc I think it takes away from much more interesting takes on her yknow? I still enjoy them but they’re not my favorite.

27. Rene question !

Ohhh I haven’t seen that on twt somehow but lemme try it…

💫⛓️‍💥🩸

[luna-baby01]

You had been dreaming of pregnancy for as long as you could remember. Not mere pregnancy. That was too basic for you. No, you desired more than just pregnancy. You wanted to be absolutely stuffed with new life, growing huge, beyond reason if that was what it took. You wanted to waddle, to turn heads in public, to soil shirts with your leaking nipples, to feel the loving kicks and squirms of your brood from within you. To calm them with gentle belly rubs... It was the thing you wanted more than anything. However, you knew that dream would probably never come true, at least not like that.

You woke up one day feeling a little ill, but you thought nothing of it. You hadn't had sex in months and it was probably just nerves. Then came the late period, then another, followed by a gentle swell in your lower abdomen that began to balloon out considerably after only 2 months. Several tests and a doctor's appointment later, you discover the truth: somehow, seemingly overnight, your dream had come true. You were miraculously pregnant! And you weren't just carrying one. Oh no, your doctor was shocked to announce that you were carrying SEXTUPLETS! Your doctor was shocked, but internally you were screaming, not from fear but from pure ecstasy.

It seems dreams really can come true after all...

God if only it was that easyyyy!😩😩😩

[lovinbarzal]

Omg please add more players to it. Hockey lowkey sucks down here (minus the stars) and we get nothing. Lmao

YOU MAKE IT EASY | L. FANTILLI

luca fantilli x fem! texan!reader

summary: luca visits his girlfriend at college! (i forgot to mention but emily goes to school with y/n)

masterlist texan!reader masterlist

feel free to leave any requests for a certain player or a certain scenario!

——————————————————————————

y/nl/n has posted !

liked by luca.fantilli, theemilycarey, and others

y/nl/n hook'em horns🤘🏼

tagged luca.fantilli theemilycarey

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theemilycarey luca is so mid, marry me instead💍

↳ luca.fantilli post up👊🏻

adam.fantilli he went from hockey to football so quick

mackie.samo should've invited me too

lhughes06 bring my man back home!

luca.fantilli has posted !

liked by markestapa, umichhockey, and others

luca.fantilli you make it easyyyy

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y/nl/n you make me sick (i love to the moon and to saturn)

↳ luca.fantilli homegirl what? (i love you too)

↳ edwards.73 i barfed a little at this

↳ markestapa me too

↳ luca.fantill in t swizzles wise words, haters gonna hate!!!

umichhockey hook'em horns? nah #GoBlue〽️

markestapa bbg come back home we miss you!

nolan_moyle texas? football? who are you and what have you done with luca fantilli?

+ a bonus post from emily!

theemilycarey has posted !

liked by y/nl/n, luca.fantilli, and others

theemilycarey met her bf, he's ok :///

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luca.fantilli WHAT I'M MORE THEN MID!?

y/nl/n i'm gonna stay quiet for this one

↳ luca.fantilli WHY?!

[riri-yanga04]

A fierce deity ✨✨ the differences between the name in French and in English is killing me

it’s a force given by a god to pass at « become the demon »god 😂.

For me that transformation is the best among all Zelda combined, in Majora’s mask i just got it and I am already falling in love but the strange of that forme is too mush, the boss was too easyyyy (behind the case of his strange way to fight)

[blindrapture]

THURSDAY JUNE 2ND, 2011 ("le bouffon blanc")

10:30 AM Oh my god, this countryside! LOOK AT THAT. That is GORGEOUS. I can only imagine what it’d look like with a blue sky, rather than a red one. There’s one problem, though. It’s oddly quiet. No birds, no animals, no nothing. I thought I heard quiet whispering for a second, but that seems to have just been my imagination.

10:35 AM I’m takin’ a walk. :DDD

10:39 AM a voice speaks to me Are those guys in the distance wearing outfits like mine? o_o do you want to see?

10:41 AM The others are calling me back. ..they’re looking at me funny.

10:53 AM You’ve got to be kidding me. Someone told these guys I had blown up the hearse. They think I’m some harbinger of death, le bouffon blanc. I’m not a buffoon. ._. They wouldn’t let me stay. They seemed to get more and more angry with each reply I made. I just tried to ask for forgiveness, to be accepted. D: They looked.. afraid. Now I’m on my own again.

11:00 AM Well, sign says Paris is this way, so at least there’s something.

11:11 AM I WISH THIS WAS EASYYYY.

12:39 PM Heeeere I go agaaaain on my owwwwn

3:21 PM This road is oddly devoid of all life, whether it be friendly or fucked-up. It’s been going for miles. ..well, I suppose it’d be kilometres. Still, you get the point.

4:46 PM I hear cawing. I’m pretty sure it’s the same cawing I’ve been hearing for a week now. What is it, though?

4:48 PM I see nothing in the skies, and nothing’s anywhere in sight on the ground. ..hate highways.

6:03 PM I’m pretty damn hungry. I haven’t eaten in a while.

6:27 PM There’s a house off in the distance!

6:39 PM Nobody’s answering. I’ll see if I can break in.

6:43 PM I’m in.

6:44 PM Ohhhh hoh hoh hoh. Dear journal, today I met the object of my childhood obsessions. No, not girl farts. I met.. a crowbar. Jackpot. >w>

6:45 PM Note to self: Don’t ever show anyone this journal. Better yet, just rip that page out before you show it to people.

6:48 PM ..this house doesn’t have a basement? Damn! I hope the next one I find will.

6:56 PM On the road again, I’m so glad to be back on the road again. That’s a lie, by the way.

7:31 PM Found another house. This one’s also deserted.

7:33 PM DEAR SWEET I say “dear sweet ______” a lot these days. I don’t even know why I was so surprised. It’s a skeleton. Did I not expect to see dead people in the apocalypse? Well, okay, I mean, skeletons are still a little.. freaky.

7:35 PM BASEMENT. Damn, it’s dark down here. I should probably try speaking en francais from time to time, since I am en france, after all. Um… ALORS! C’est tres, tres— comment dit-on “dark” en francais? Je ne sais pas. Well, that was pointless.

7:37 PM FILS DE LA PUTE GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE NO DIE SHUT UP DIE I DON’T CARE JUST DIEFucking skeleton. Came to life. Yeah, well, lemme tell ya, skeletons don’t react too well to having a fucking crowbar in their fucking faces. Yeah, who’s laughing now, pute? I had no idea I knew how to swear in French. I feel ill.

7:41 PM Well, I definitely went down a rabbit hole. Last time I checked, France wasn’t fucking Dogscape. Dog planet, made entirely of dog, ground is dog flesh, trees are dog bone, there are giant dog eyes and dog ears and dog tails and dog mouths growing out of the ground, everything is alive and writhing and That does it, I’m gonna go throw up.

7:43 PM The rabbit hole’s not one-way, right? I can go back? Please let me fucking go back I’m not going out there oh my god. ..Jordan, let’s be reasonable about this. We both know— that is, me and myself— that the rabbit holes act like… like, uh…. what’s it called, again? That place in Minecraft. That Nether place. Where every step in there is equal to eight steps in the normal place. So yeah, rabbit holes are like that. You won’t have to go too far out there in Fucking-I-Hate land. I wish Fentzy was here. She’d appreciate that joke. Yeah, Jordan. You wanna know what else Fentzy would do? She’d fucking do this. Dogscape wouldn’t scare Fentzy.

7:45 PM OH GOD I HATE THIS OH GOD OH MY GOD I’M SO FUCKING GLAD I’M WEARING SHOES FUCK YOU, BRAVE PART OF ME.

7:46 PM IT��S MY BODY, DOGSCAPE. AND IF YOU’RE TOUCHING ME IN A WAY OR PLACE THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT’S NO GOOD.

7:48 PM SO WHAT WILL I DO, DOGSCAPE? FIRST, I’LL SAY NO. THEN, I’M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

7:50 PM gonnabarfgonnabarfgonnabarfgonnabarf

7:52 PM DEAR SWEET MOTHERFUCKING SWEET DEAR THE FUCK YOU NO TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS THE SIZE OF ICE CREAM TUBS TICKS THE SIZE OF ICE CREAM TUBS RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNGET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PLEASE PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RABBIT HOLE PLEASE PLEAASE YOU’RE ENJOYING THIS AREN’T YOU YOU’RE ENJOYING MY SUFFERING WELL FUCK YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Wait, I have a crowbar. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE GO FUCKING DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

9:42 PM home earth life not covered in dog guts thank you rabbit hole oh god can’t sleep dogscape’ll eat me even though i’m back in reality i can’t sleep dogscape’ll eat me i don’t wanna be a part of it oh god

(The next several pages of the journal are filled with insane scribblings and words. “Dog” appears a lot. They stop by 11 PM, and are then met by today’s attached piece of paper: “There’s something magical about 11 PM. It’s the perfect interval between ‘too early, not tired enough to sleep’ and 'too late, will not get enough sleep,’ or at least it usually is for most schedules. And for those who stay up through it, it’s that magical hour when a lot of people are asleep so there’s a nice quiet air, but it’s still early enough to promise a whole night ahead. Plus as soon as the clock hits 11 PM, a miracle happens somewhere on Earth, and you can take that to the bank and no one can convince me otherwise! Then only eleven minutes later is when the wishing can happen. What’s not to love about 11 PM? Also the moment when the clock goes from 11:59 PM to 00:00 AM is magical too, because.” This piece of paper also has, in red marker, “F” in a circle and “Very funny! This doesn’t fly in Advanced Metaphysics!” written next to it. This paper was probably not intended to go here.)

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