#too big to be a jockey sfth

[svnnyd4ys]

updated update of the Xavier (SFTH) family tree!!

@not-an-idiot thank you very much for your help with this!!! i made this post because there have been quite a few developments to it and it's nice to have it all in one post :))

here is the overview, and then we'll dive deeper into each branch/backstory on the tree! (long post under the cut because i cannot stop rambling about this stuff, it's so interesting)

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BUS: Celia is just a random name, but felt fitting! 'Big Dick' has always been a nickname of the family's patriarch, Arthur. He is also the main source of any sort of 'powers' within the family, as he is able to time travel/project his consciousness across space and time (much like his daughter, Thomasin).

He has some kind of immortality deal going on, and he dedicates his books to his great-great grandson, Samuel Babb-Dailey (aka the protagonist from Beetroots & Murder).

TOO BIG TO BE A JOCKEY: Jonas Langbook is the youngest of Celia and Arthur's 3 children, and he is also the manor owner from Too Big To Be A Jockey. He's the family 'embarrassment' but the parents favour him, because he reminds BD of himself. he did not 'earn' the manor, in fact- it was a gift.

Despite his flaws, Jonas loves his nieces and in fact, often has Samantha visiting as she often struggled with leaving the house, (his sister was always the same, little did they know it's a side affect of the visions) and so this encouraged her in doing so, and helped her build her confidence. Jonas would also teach both Sally and Samantha how to ride, and one night, Samantha was out in the stables, and that's where she met Egbert for the first time (but more on that later).

PRISCILLA'S FINAL PETAL: Earl is both his name and title- he moved to Germany from England because he wanted to stay as far away from Jonas as possible. (because he's a dick)

He met Annabelle at a German flower shop, they got married, had Priscilla etc. but much like his brother, Earl struggles to keep his eyes on one thing, and he ends up meeting one of Thomasin's friends, Lily, when he is visiting Celia on her deathbed. (something something, their entire relationship has been built upon important people in their lives dying).

Unfortunately, Annabelle dies, but Lily's there to comfort him, and be a good mother figure for Priscilla. How wholesome!

MARIGOLDS, BLUEBELLS, AND HUGH: Annabelle is the daughter of Inga and Hugh (aside, i've not watched this play in ages, so like i'm not saying they're romantically involved or anything bc i don't remember it much at all, so they could've just adopted her etc.), and she's always loved plants. So much so that when she and Earl first move into their estate, she insists on planting all sorts, for example, buttercups.

THE LEFTENMOST WINDOW: Thomasin is the middle child and only daughter of Celia and BD. From a young age, Thomasin has struggled with fatigue, headaches and leaving the house. Alexander was one of the Langbrook's 'Hallboys' and was Thomasin's only friend for most of her childhood.

They got married at ages 19 & 20 respectively. BD had a lot of respect for Alexander, but Celia would often try to break the pair up. At age 15, Thomasin had her first traverse across the astral plane, and told no one, apart from her father. When the Boer war broke out, Samantha and Sally had both already been born, but Alexander still had no idea.

He only found out when one night, he heard a voice he thought that he'd never hear again.

Samantha is around 6 years older than Sally, and during the Boer war, acted as her main caretaker for a while due to Thomasin's migraines becoming worse and getting more frequent. Sally's always been the more rambunctious of the pair, and at ages 15 and 9 respectively, the two of them travel to Jonas' manor.

Sally is always up and about, running around the stables, talking to the farmhands, whereas Samantha is usually reading inside, or sitting on the hay bales.

One night, Samantha falls asleep outside on one of those days, and who wakes her up? None other than the son of one of her uncle's friends, Egbert Babb-Dailey. 3 years later, the two of them are getting married and then the First World War breaks out, leading to Samantha's powers to develop.

(i've made so many TLW posts that go further into these ideas, feel free to check them out!!)

BEETROOTS AND MURDER: Samantha and Egbert have two children (they were both born later on in their lives, as they struggled to conceive), however, when their children are quite young, Samantha and Egbert pass away in a house fire, the cause of which is unknown.

Samuel 'Big Dick' Babb-Dailey is sent away to live with Cyrus and Summer Setchell (get it?). He has repressed all memories of his life before moving to Somerset. All he remembers is that he quite likes fire. The only connections he has to his past are the dedications in the sex books some random guy writes and then drops off at his parents house. This has led to him also getting the nickname 'Big Dick' and quietly resenting the man. He also has no idea about his sister.

The fire gives him back some memories of his past, but all he can really remember are their names.

THE PILOT'S FINAL FLIGHT: Martha is Egbert and Samantha's second child, and instead of being sent away like her brother, her aunt Sally insisted on taking her in. (possibly because she's aware that it's more likely for Martha to develop the visions than her brother, and she doesn't want her to suffer alone the same way Samantha did).

For most of her life, Martha actually didn't seem that affected by anything. She was more like Sally than Samantha and Sally began to wonder whether or not she'd taken in the right sibling, but then when Martha was 16, she became afflicted by terrible migraines.

Months after the migraines started, Martha awoke in a cold sweat, and explained that she had a vision of a horrible fire and the name Samuel. That was her first ever future dream, and the last time she ever had one... Well. Technically.

Martha and Leyland meet for the first time because he's (attempting) to buy flowers for his mum, but really has no idea what he's doing or what she'd want. Martha has some knowledge of flowers, because her 'Aunt' Priscilla had gifted her several books, so she assisted him in picking the best ones. From there on, the rest was history.

They got married, Leyland graduated and joined the RAF Research project, all whilst raising their son, Michael. When Leyland's mission goes horribly wrong, Sally begins to take up most of the childcare, allowing Martha to develop a drinking problem. There comes a point where Sally refuses to help her anymore, so Martha is left alone to raise Michael for good.

Years go by, Leyland doesn't return, Martha's not had a dream in years and Michael just seems angry. (In my mind, he's inherited more of Arthur BD's traversing powers, than the future dreams)

And then Martha starts to hear him calling to her, and Michael goes into the astral plane to save him, and all is done.

THE NEIGHBOUR'S UNDER THE BED/DARK MOONS OF SLOUGH Samuel becomes a single father to James and Penelope, who are twins. The pair are mostly raised equally, until Penelope develops her future dreams at age 9 and this majorly scares Samuel. (reminds him of worse times).

With this, Samuel focuses nearly all of his attention on James, bringing him to every football match and providing attention and support, whilst completely ignoring Penelope.

At first, James did feel bad for his sister, and would try and get his dad to pay attention to her, but eventually, just ignoring her and going along with whatever Samuel was doing was easier, and also felt better.

James' first future dream came when he was 15, and Samuel was much more prepared this time. Penelope would watch in envy, and the boys would ignore her completely.

He eventually meets his Martha at one of his matches (Penelope was there too, she always was) and the pair go on to get married, and have Johnny and Janae. After the kids were born, Penelope left and moved to Slough.

When she heard that Janae had also developed future dreams at the same age Penelope had, she came back. Over the years, she'd managed to make a soup which helped to repress the headaches, so she would send batches over to help her family.

does this make sense? hopefully xx

[sfth-daily-quotes]

"Ridiculous double names these poor people have, isn't it? It's just the same name twice!" "They couldn't afford another one, sir."

- Luke Manning and Sam Russell, Too Big to be a Jockey

[dawn-speckled]

just watched too big to be a jockey for the first time and it's so funny, such an underrated longform!!

it doesn't quite have the plot quality of the newer ones but it feels very pleasantly low-stakes and silly, you're just there for the laughs - definitely a comfort play :))

[youling-the-ghost]

In my sfth cinematic universe, Peter Steven, the children from The Neighbour's Under the Bed, and the son from Too Big To Be a Jockey are all in a support group for traumatised youth. The Sisyphus kid is also a frequent visitor.

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

All of sfth's improvized plays described by someone with bad/selective memory (but remembers 90% of the sentences they make up) pt. 2

6) Too Big To Be a Jockey

Something about a horse being split in half because its rider is too big. Also, children having guns pointed at them and an entire skin suit (literal skin) that a child (who was supposedly dead) was wearing

7) The OOPSIE DAISY Bulge

Tom saying oopsie daisy somewhere round the start (does he even say it? I don't know). I don't even remember this one but I swear I watched it

8) The Hare Who Wore a Sweater

Husband mad at wife for caring for the hares. Husband goes to bar. German woman flirts with him ("do you know how many orifices a woman has? A German woman has more!"). Barkeep gives him a drink called Be Careful™. Some time before or after that, Barkeep tries to slut-drop, falls, gets caught by the husband (and the guys on the sidelines). Wife gives a talking hare a sweater ("a moment of peace in the void") and the hare tries to tell her about the upcoming danger (Mcginnery) but then gets shot a little later ("Bingo!"). "What happened to your hare?", wife accuses husband of shooting Jimmy the hare immediately after the husband said he didn't. Car chase scene where both Mcginnery and his assistant seem to be driving (even the characters comment on this). Husband slut-drops to prevent Mcginnery from pressing the detonator for the mines surrounding the village (?). The hares have a meeting some time before or during the previous scene and go to deactivate the mines. They later appear and get mad at the wife because she claimed to have deactivated the mines herself then snaps at the hares because she "fucking nit [them] sweaters"

9) Once Upon a Time I Killed Mum

DANGERFIELD! And something about bring your kid to work day at the station ("Rapier :D!")

10) The Midnight Mystery

Lord and Lady Lafaytte are interrogated about the murder, they say they were busy making love at the time. Head king of the police accidentally summons Scottish Batman (and Robin) and tells him to fuck off. Something something Robin gets kidnapped, Lord Lafayette ends up doing a Bane thing

Prev // Next

[pulchrasilva]

Just watched too big to be a jockey and um. What the fuck ? Did I just watch ??

[goingroundincircles-ontrack]

Part 2 of my sfth improvised play reviews, which is back by popular demand (only one person asked for a part 2)

The Dark Moons of Slough 10/10

As a person who grew up watching British cookery shows I really enjoyed this one. I love wizard Ascaroth's ringtone and the fact that Jamie Oliver sounds incredibly sinister. The soups causing flashbacks was a stroke of genius and also the idea that Mary Berry is the most powerful witch in the uk is amazing (I think she'd beat Jamie Oliver in a fight without magic powers anyways)

Too Big To Be A Jockey 7/10

Don't get me wrong, it's a really good play but I'm just not enamoured with it. There are some bits I really love like Tom going "ah so that's the kind of character I am" and the reuniting of the brothers at the end but it's just not my favourite of their plays. Also Sam's Irish accent is atrocious.

The Lighthouse 9/10

I laughed so much whilst watching this one. The plot is so abstract and I love it. The idea that the sheep get distressed by having the curtains drawn on the lighthouse is hilarious and I love Sam's character of the inbred sheep that's vaguely human and also does drugs. I also cannot stop hearing Sam just bleating "sex" in answer to luke's question. The ending is chaos, which I enjoy, and the whole play is great.

So that's 3 more reviews. Again lmk what you think but I'm enjoying writing these.

Part 1

[youling-the-ghost]

This reminds me of the time when I was sore from exercise so laughing made my abdomen hurt. My dumbass was like "let's watch some sfth! :D" as if making people laugh isn't the SOLE PURPOSE of their youtube channel.

Anyways, I ended up watching Too Big to be a Jockey and The Cardboard Stegosaurus. The pain was worth it.

Throwback to that one time i tried watching a sfth play w a jaw infection and ended up making it worse bc i was laughing too much

[svnnyd4ys]

updated SFTH family tree!

i've created a new post so that it is easier for me to explain all the little bits and bobs involved :)

thank you to not-an-idiot for helping me and for the amazing ideas!! (idk if they're okay with being tagged, but i hope that you see this :) )

here's the overview, more details under the cut!

-

"Big-Dick" has been Arthur's nickname for all his life, and it's his pen name. He is the main source of any and all 'powers' within the family, as he is also able to traverse across the astral plane (he's either immortal or a time traveller, but either way, he dedicates his books to his great-grandson - Samuel 'Big-Dick' Babb-Dailey, which is )

Jonas Langbrook is the manor owner from 'Too Big to be a Jockey'. He loves his nieces on Thomasin's side (Samantha and Sally) and encourages Samantha to spend more time out of the Xavier household by inviting her to come and help in the stables. This is where Samantha and Egbert meet for the first time.

Earl changes his last name because he is ashamed to be associated with his family, especially after Jonas' antics... He is the father from 'Priscilla's Final Petal'.

Annabelle is Priscilla's biological mother, and the child of Inga and Hugh from Marigolds, Bluebells and Hugh (which I haven't watched in ages so if this is incorrect pls tell me!!)

(feasibly, she could be adopted and they are just raising her together bc of societal standards at the time, am not saying it has to be romantic!!)

Samuel is the protagonist from Beetroots & Murder - Samantha and Egbert die when he is young, Sally/Earl are unable to take him in so he gets adopted and moves to Somerset with his adoptive parents, Cyrus and Summer Setchell.

He becomes a single father to James Babb-Dailey (the father from 'The Neighbour's Under The Bed') who is the father of Johnny and Janae, which explains the future dreams. (and if Samantha and Egbert die in a fire, then it kind of adds to the lore)

[svnnyd4ys]

previous post here <3

(is arthur a reference to Arthur BD? who's to say) (is Egbert's last name a reference to Justin Willoughby from Beetroots and Murder? who knows)

(Jonas is the manor owner; Earl is the Earl of Saxony; Thomasin is the mother)

but here's a rough idea of what I was talking about, i really hope it makes sense

and if anyone has any other characters they think could fit in, let me know :)))

[svnnyd4ys]

it'd require a lot of rejigging of the timelines, (and messing with the actual canon) but i just love the idea of the Xaviers from TLW and The Earl of Saxony from PFP being related somehow

throw in the owner of the manor (idk his name </3) from Too Big to be a Jockey bc could you imagine your entire family has all of this supernatural shit going on- and you just have someone who's too big to be a jockey

[svnnyd4ys]

some sfth plays as Richard Siken poetry quotes bc i love combining my interests sorry guys

might do a version where it's characters with very specific ones, but for now the plays!! these quotes make the plays seem much sadder than they are lmfaoo

plays 1-10 under the cut~

OMG, IS THIS A JOKE? "It starts with bloodshed, always bloodshed, always the same running from yourself story," (driving, not washing - Crush)

THE MERINGUE HABERDASHERY "I woke up and ate ice cream in the dark, hunched over on the wooden chair in the kitchen, listening to the rain. I borrowed your shoes and didn't put them away." (i had a dream about you - Crush)

LOST IN YOUR EYES "I thought of myself as a city and I licked my lips. I thought of myself as a nation and I wrung my hands. I put a thing in your hands. Will you defend yourself?" (landscape with a blur of consequences - War of the Foxes)

THE DARK MOONS OF SLOUGH "They huddled closer, shoulder to shoulder, painted themselves in herds, all together and apart from the rest." (the language of the birds - War of the Foxes)

LONG JOHNS - STRIKE! "You're in a car. You're in the weeds again. You're on a bumpy roads and there are criminals everywhere, longing for danger." (the dislocated room - Crush)

TOO BIG TO BE A JOCKEY "A stone on the path means the tea's not ready, a stone in the hand means somebody's angry, the stone inside of you still hasn't hit bottom." (seaside improvisation - Crush)

THE OOPSIE DAISY BULGE "Our scope was much larger than I realised, which only made me that much more responsible." (detail of the hayfield - War of the Foxes)

THE HARE WHO WORE A SWEATER "The wife has a dead hand. This is earlier. She is living and her dead hands feed her pills that don't work. The boy sleeps on the roof or falls out of trees. The father works late. The wife looks out of the window and thinks, Not this." (war of the foxes - War of the Foxes)

ONCE UPON A TIME I KILLED MUM "'Cut off your head, kid. For all the good it'll do ya.' I glued my head back on. All thoughts finish themselves eventually." (landscape with fruit rot and millipede - War of the Foxes)

THE MIDNIGHT MYSTERY "He could build a city. Has a certain capacity. There's a niche in his chest where a heart could fit perfectly and he thinks if he could maneuver one into place- well then, game over." (road music - Crush)

(inside the mysterious cube is getting it's own post)

[goingroundincircles-ontrack]

Sfth tumblr I have a question related to my map project

I've come up with these answers based on the predominant accents in the play