#too bad there's so little of 'em
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things from The Halloween Update that are concerning me more than i already am about Eddie:
his Frankenstein's Monster costume turning his face (and hands. ha, hands, like the hands on a-) half yellow half blue/purple like the clocks & Sally's door. that's fucking me up a little ngl
Eddie tacks "A bit of a moral conundrum-" onto his description of Frankenstein's Monster, who he's costumed as. which seems out of place with the rest of his description. he could've said "bolts" or "white streak in his hair" or another physical trait. nope. Moral Conundrum (one could also describe his costume as "two-faced"...). and the fact that he's dressed specifically as someone who was "brought back from the dead" makes me 👁️👁️. kinda reminds me of a certain set of artworks from Clown's tumblr a while back...
Eddie, despite his whole schtick being "bad memory", was the only one to accurately recognize Sally's costume as pedrolino from the Commedia dell'arte. could be a little 'inside joke', might be something else. i suspect it's something else due to his... ah... Everything.
#yk im starting to wonder if eddie's meant to have a naturally bad memory#or if something is purposefully fucking with em more than with anyone else#bc he seems to have these little moments where hes On Top Of It#kinda like moments of lucidity almost? hm....#eddie dear what have you seen? why are you Singled Out?#the wrist watch / his eyelashes matching home's (whatever the rounded things under the sills are)#his halloween costume / his memory problems / the fucking tiny secrets sprinkled all over his post office / his color being purple#hi eddie how does it feel to have main character syndrome#jesting! kinda#eddison edward eduardo edmund edgar edwin edmundo. what the hell is your deal im dying to know#wh speculation#welcome home speculation#homebogging#i wonder. i. wonder...#if eddie got Caught by whatever is out there at night#maybe he didnt know to stay in doors. maybe he realized he forgot to deliver something and thought 'better late than never'#maybe the town mailman is too important to simply Remove so he had to be dealt with a different way#or wait maybe someone saved him? wally perhaps? home? id(k?)#a worse memory so that he doesnt remember what happened?#a personal clock on him at all times so that he never loses track of the time of day?#an overactive fear-response to make sure he stays in his lane Despite him apparently enjoying scary things?#kinda sticks with the 'frankensteins monster' thing dontcha think? brought back from the dead? Stitched back together?#and the monster was an emotional sensitive character. like eddie. IDK idk im just rambling now
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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ok ok i have another way to word my thots about the movies thus far:
i think Art is pretty iconic design wise. Im not against gory slashers I think we should have more of those and I like that a series so "shocking" is doing so well...its more like.
The franchise establishes pretty immediately that it's not Serious...as mentioned the first movie has a naked woman sawed in half from crotch down so idk how you'd even make it to the 3rd one without knowing How It Is. But with how the first one barely has any plot, and the second one has A Bit More but drags on and on...its like... SO FAR (because I haven't seen the 3rd one) these movies aren't Fun to watch ykwim.
I know Saw isn't a good comparison bc its a different genre within horror but the franchise really is like a telenovela... its so stupid (good) and it has lots to complain about and pick at in the FUN way, like poking fun at peepaw and his warehouses and home depot purchases, going "are you kidding me thats so dumb" at that scene where hoffman manages to be snuck into the station in a body bag to start killing people. Varuous moments of stupid ass dialogue writing. Im not saying it cant be boring or unliked but i think it has a good balance of everything (eyerolling moments, plot, "lighthearted" and humorous moments, intentional or not) even if its not a masterpiece in the writing department.
And that's just within the series, I usually avoid bringing up fandom bc that's obviously a different beast I rarely even touch but its more about how its fandom actually has that foundation to go off of. Like you know enough about peepaw's backstory and such to springboard off of, regardless of it being good or not
Here it's like man there's a hot cool clown, lots of gore, really corny and cornily acted out writing, and its not even FUN? 😭 2 movies (again I haven't made it to the 3rd) and I wouldn't watch them again, not because of the gore but because despite not being serious, reinforced by that very drawn out over the top kill in the second one, it's not even fun... you cant even attach to the silly dialogue because the whole rest of the movie is a drag. Does this make sense? It's like. Everything combined to make it Not Fun. Whereas at least with Saw you can start joking about how someone just wasn't trying hard enough to win peepaw's foundationally silly ass "you tried to kill yourself now you're in the try not to kill yourself" trap.
It's at odds with itself. I've seen like one Halloween movie and can barely even remember it but I know all the jokes about outrunning Michael Myers (and that cat and mouse is also Fun)...theres also like 50 of those movies I KNOW theyre probably also fun to watch and complain about the absurdity... I think the issue here might also be the straightforwardness and point A point B of it all. There's not really much anyone can do against Art, which is fine, some saw traps are literally unwinnable after all. But Terrifier doesn't even give you the chance to, like, boast about how you definitely could have survived the Silence Circle trap because you're not an idiot... it's just not Fun. To me.
I think Art himself is fun and the corny dialogue are fun. I'll even go ahead and say the gore is fun because again like come on the clown literally rips a guys cock off its Absurd... but they seem to be trapped in movie(s) that so far aren't fun
#long post#talkys#i think this is a better way of wording it bc with my previous arguments i feel trying to go against certain allegations just reinforces em#like i could talk all day about how im not here to add to the moral panic about the gore in these movies yet someone will always think that#actually the case because of how i talked about it#so lets NOT talk about the gore this time#because genuinely and truly that was not my issue with it and its not the movies' issue either#like do u understandddd the clown is genuinely so hot i WANT TO LIKE THE FILMS SO BAD#but theyre not fun i would not rewatch them thus far even tho they do have the good little moments#i like the 😯😁 part in the second movie when art is ''buying'' the horn it made me laugh#i liked the clown cafe song + sequence etc#i think about rewatching em and my though isnt ''omg no the gore was too much :('' its jesus that went on for FOREVER#the movie has relief to give you in the form of its main horror entity and it DOESNT GIVE IT TO YOU
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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Gripped with ideas but….. the panelling………….
#banging my head against the wall#Im probably thinking abt it too hard but ive never given much thought abt executing my ideas till now#usually I just get out as many things as I can in messy sketches but because this one has Structure and Unspoken Thoughts that need to be#conveyed properly using mood and emotion than words I actually need to be a little deliberate abt how I go about expressing it#i found some tips for composition and going thru my comics for reference and trying to line it up with what I have in mind#but the mood im going for is more of a quiet looming dread.. like. yknow when a bunch of bad memories start rushing out while your mind#is in the present. im thinking of having paralleling panels to kind of build on symmetry or making comparisons to a past experience#i was thinking of having another set of overlapping panels showing the characters reaction to those thoughts in real time like a pencil#slipping out of their hand and falling to the floor but I don’t wanna clutter the page too much so maybe not#I don’t have much experience writing comics I just like to read em.. I’m sure it’ll be at least decent for a first attempt. hopefully#that way I can build up confidence for my other zelda comic ideas heh#without saying too much….. the idea I have in mind is about fort hateno and children’s nursery rhymes ;)#yapping
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meowzers
#hey guys i made a little freak. thoughts?#hes got ghost fish friends :)#and hes a catboy#ALSO WTF IS IT WITH ME AND LIKE..#FISHERMEN LATELY. FIRST GUY NOW THIS FUCKER WTH#uhm but he basically came to be bc i was like “damn i rlly want to make more original art....” and the first thing that came out of my hand#was a catboy. not gonna read into it too deeply.#i dont have any proper explantation for the fish... the idea is that he ?? eats them and then magics them into big ghost fish and idk#its cool in my head!! im just so bad at formulating my thoughts in a way that makes any sense at all 😭#my art#dizzyoriginals#oc#idk what he does with the fish. maybe theyre friends of his. maybe its like a they give him their life and he gives them new life or smth.#a give and take back and forth kinda thing- listen these r late night rambles.#also i just love the cartoony ass fish skeletons in cartoons n stuff. theyre so dear to me. i wanted to draw em#cw eyestrain#eyestrain
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Can't believe this creature is over 18. Not only that but aside from some arthritis and being incredibly round (because my dad won't stop spoiling her with extra feedings) she's in almost perfect health??
Have some Ashallah pics, enjoy this screaming creature
#we share a bday actually#down to the hour on the actual day#however i am 5 years older than this little freak#cats#cats of tumblr#siamese#i have STORIES about her#she was a fucking DEVIL when she was younger bc she was really badly socializes#socialized*#we rescued her from a... bad house to put it lightly after her father tried to kill her#the other kittens were taken in by others as well#but the father didnt try to kill any of em for whatever reason so they were able to stay for the proper time#we got her at 4 weeks. we didnt know how to socialize a kitten.#she was a demon#as she and i both got older i started to properly socialize her#now she cuddles and is a lap cat when before she attached herself to my face w her claws#im proud of her in her old age#just wish she would stop shitting under my futon when im away from home overnight.#(thats not a health thing or even an anxiety thing. she just is a dick who needs me to know#that she's NOT happy that i LEFT her ALONE ALL NIGHT as if my dad doesn't fuckin live here too)#menace of a cat id cry if anything bad happened to her so hard
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or alternatively dweeb meets other dweeb more news at 11
LIGHT. LIGHT IN HIS EYES. LOOK AT EM BIG OLE EYES. LOOK AT HIM TOUCH HIS JERSEY.
GLORY BE TO THE MIKKSY SIGNED JERSEY RAAAAAAAAA
CanesWear Signing | 7.1.24
#niko mikkola#florida panthers#the mortifying ordeal of being known#you can tell how bad i was shaking from how much the jersey moves in my hands oh it was so serious for me its not even funny#“youre my favourite player thats why” “thank you” girl i would eat concrete for you without any hesitation#“new jersey?” me sweating profusely because i have to admit i had this jersey for a while now in front of his face oh god oh FUCK#“where do you want it? here or here?” “anywhere choose where anywhere” “ill do this way”#behold decision paralysis plus the constitution of a doormat with an awful aim to please vs the assuredness of a bull romping through field#“i mean its your jersey at the end of the day”#he says without thinking because he lacks a brain to mouth filter and immediately wants to slam his head into the nearest hardest object#but its okay it got a little smile out of mikksy so maybe my motor mouth can be used for good#my voice is so hoarse because i stood under for 7 hours and also loudly cheered like never before all throughout those 7 hours yesterday#also a lot of people had tickets for both mikksy and lundy or just lundy so thats why the line was moving slowly#so at one point they went OKAY WHO HAS TICKETS FOR JUST NIKO and i raised my hand like oo oo mee ☝️ and got rushed to the front#also a lot of the stuff he was signing was nonspecific posters and hats or other players jerseys (that already had other signatures on em)#which is why the attendant was like oh sweet jersey! and mikksy was like new jersey? because there werent many people at all#comparatively his signing was priced the lowest at 39 out of all cats players. the highest currently is benny at 60#does it suck his line was shorter. there was surprise when someone toddles in with a mikksy jersey. and that his signing was priced low?#yes ofc but also i didnt have to stand in the heat for long got ushered in faster and my wallet didnt cry so lets not kid ourselves here#there are silver lining to everything but anyways first hockey jersey and first signature on it acquire call that a man on a mission 😎👉👉#long tags i love mikksy i lot you understand right <3#also im never wearing this jersey again so i might as well buy a frame and ANOTHER mikksy jersey#to bad it also has my 30th ani cats patch on it too </3
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burnt my hand on burrito and so told my cat who was sitting in chair right in front of where i was standing: "you could have prevented this. if you voted for harris." but then i felt bad so i told him "im sorry i know you cant vote" but he tried to bite my hand so i changed my mind and told him "you should have voted anyway." why am i telling you this? idk but my tummy hurts. and i gained weight (okay, i need more weight) and can't fit into a pants i like (not okay, sad) and can't find any pants that aren't shorts or sweatpants. so basically this could have all been prevented if my cat voted for harris. thanks a lot dude
#coping by blaming all inconviences in my life on the election. bc its a little funny#perhaps i am parodying those who think harris would have fixed everything#but more likley i am just saying words#bc honestly while those ppl are. oblivious tbh i prefer them to the people who are acting like trump being president is the Same#like girl. the republicans got the house and senate too did you pay any attention#sigh.#i mean theyre kinda right that ppl will react more when bad things happen bc theyll blame em on trump#but more bad things will happen. so#idk abt that
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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reopening the ask box is like... just finishing vacuuming shed cat hair, and then immediately going and petting said cat vigorously & watching with delight as So Much Fur sheds right back onto the floor
#knocked it down from 96 asks to 53 lets gooooo#i was gonna keep it closed for much longer but like. that was past me's opinion when they were way more stressed than usual#current me misses Conversing with the Masses! or something like that!#is it a smart decision? probably not!#between packing & comms i dont have much time#but keeping it closed felt so wrong... i dont like keep out signs....#absolutely unprompted#i forgot how time-consuming and difficult packing is#im too out of practice....#ive got all my sketchbooks and notebooks and paper and comics boxed up#Except my wof collection. im waiting for book 15 to be shipped before i box em all up. gotta keep things Together#but yes anyway sorry the box is Open for whatever your little heart desires#which is.... bad timing bc im gonna be chronically Offline tomorrow and probably a decent chunk of the next day#now if yall will excuse me im going to Attempt To Write Fanfic.#we'll see if i manage more than one sentence#i am doing. so much usps research for this shit its hilarious#like yes! i will read reddit threads! watch yt 'day in the life' videos! job listings! etc!#but hey now i know about casing and relays/loops and dps and flats and the difference between city and rural-#its fun to learn new things for writing!#i will be taking Liberties anyway! but at least they'll be a conscious decision yk yk#and if i ever post i can say 'hey i know this is inaccurate But its for the sake of the fic. im doing it on purpose! not outta ignorance!'#also i feel so so bad for cca's like... the work 'ethic' is so fucking inhumane are they ok-
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original colors
#a doodley#1. alt title was gonna just be Dracula. like. the my name is dvd normal post.#2. im still struggling soooo much to find a way to darken my fun usual line drawings to color em in like this.#like. i always end up losing what makes em fun and gorgeous and it turns into this. no 2 tone. just looks bad and messy.#3. when talon is almost too weak to fang feed he'll use the last of his energy to low energy shapeshift to look like dis#less purple hair - his original brown eyes - original ears#just a little more disarming than the usual...easier to lure someone...doesnt sap too much energy...it works !#also i think talon wld learn internet shit from al bothering him with it#i already know im gonna hate this doodle in like a week so im. sorry for how bad it is in advance. my art brain takes ages to develop.
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My beloved best friend of several years, who bought me Minecraft the winter before COVID after I mentioned I hadn’t played since before there were horses, got severely motion sick when playing minecraft for too long.
We were both aware of this, and took breaks or shortened our play sessions accordingly.
However, a few days ago, at the end of one of those sessions when my friend wasn’t feeling well, we traveled through a Nether portal.
“Have you turned off your motion effects? And the camera bobbing?”
My beloved friend, who has been playing this game more consistently for many more years than me, did not know what those were. We navigate to my friend’s accessibility settings and toggle off portal motion effects and camera bobbing.
Lo and behold minecraft is playable for my friend again. Check accessibility settings for every game you play and see what options you have. Do not suffer if you can help it 👍
#ra speaks#personal#minecraft#sorry just a silly little story I thought I’d share bc it made me smile when I remembered it just now#I’ve been playing without camera bobbing since I got the game bc I too get v motion sick from it#tbh I just??? assumed she already had them toggled off and that it was still pretty bad for her????#but apparently not aldjehsjjabejsn#this is why game accessibility is soooo important but also good idea to check accessibility settings EVEN IF you don’t think you’ll need em#I don’t have photosensitivity but my mom does so I turn off flashing lights out of habit#and sometimes you see something like directional audio subtitles? sure. and it makes the game 100x more enjoyable#even if I could play without it.
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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU
As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.
This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry
This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.
His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.
He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.
...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.
But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.
It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?
Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.
There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.
Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.
He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.
He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.
As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.
The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.
When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.
All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.
There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.
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UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)
But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style
Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)
Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!
#umataro tenma#long post#well that became a novel. sorry lmao#in my mind teiai's evil hell prison in astro boy verse would probably be quite a bit different than regular kaiji#like. fuckin. weapons manufacturing for teiai or something like that. or scary bad danger robots. horrifying concept#Tenma would be a valuable asset to them whether by giving up Atom or by losing in death game hell and being forced to work for em#and if he dies? they can just take atom#get him out of there.#I'm also thinkin of who Teiai would be represented by.....the snakey loan sharks u could easily put skunk in there.#but who is an evil fucked up sadist billionaire. theres probably someone who could be fucked up enough I just dont know offhand#and im allergic to mischaracterizing in AUs lol im not gonna make a slightly bad guy into an evil freakguy. so. Hyoudou is just himself.#if you squint this could be considered an 80s astro boy AU..has a cruise arc & not actually giving atom away#but man. that tenma LEAST of all deserves this fate lmao#do I want to write fic of this? yes. will I? not likely!#I can just smell it dude this would be some crazy fuckoff 100k shit I am not ready brother#also it would just be soooooo so so so so so edgy. I dont really enjoy writing intensely grim stuff w/ little to no respite#also tbh. I am too stupid. LOL. I cannot write clever gambles alas
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Been forgetting to post oot foot 2/?
#art fight#carliedraws#the first two should have been in the first post but i fucked up#anyway the rest of these i wasnt sick so i could start doing a better job#i feel a little bad the first ones are rougher but im glad i did em anyway#and they still turned out well! i just had to spend longer#so really it's more that i couldnt get more of em done#but i like em all and i hope the recipients do too :)
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