#tomorrow i have psych and stats

[alrightaspen]

pushed this out real quick, i started school and i’m still running through shit in elden ring so my account might stay pretty dead for a little bit

[cheemken]

Thinking abt the initial concept of the villain Dia au now and just ncmcnd

Imagine if she didn't really kill Malva, but Malva is still really unaware of Diantha's involvement in Flare or the fact that Diantha just knows abt them. And she's there looking for Lysandre, and she found nothing, no leads, no body, nothing. But Dia's Trevenant was there yknow, watching, waiting, and when Gengar arrived to get the daily report, Trevenant had told him what he saw. And ofc, Dia already knew yknow, she's already aware of the fact that Malva's part of Flare, this was just for blackmail hahaha

And like, imagine a small confrontation between them, or maybe smth like in that first chapter where Dia was asking Malva to help them find the remaining members of Flare. Imagine Diantha waiting for the other three Elites before she turns to Malva, going "aren't you going to help?"

"why would I? I'm sure there's nothing left of Flare."

"oh, I wouldn't say that," Dia laughed at her, taking a step closer towards Malva, "considering that you're still here."

And Malva paling at that tho, cause she and Lysandre hid their identities and involvement in Flare rather well, how would Diantha even know? As far as Lysandre and Malva were aware, Dia never found out abt the actual boss of Flare. Unless..

"you were looking for Lysandre, weren't you?" Then Malva could feel claws from beneath her, grabbing her legs, preventing her escape. She looked down, seeing arms of what she could only assume we're a Gengar's, then she hears a sinister laugh to confirm it. She looks back at Diantha, Lysandre's Mega Ring in hand, "I have to thank him though, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have gotten my darling Yveltal."

And everything's just sinking in on Malva after watching Dia wear the ring, watching her eyes drift towards her again, and suddenly feeling the cold edge of a blade on her neck. "Now, I suppose you know what will happen if you won't help, yes?" And she could only nod, the cold feeling of dread taking over her body. Diantha smiled at her, snapping her fingers, and the blade on her neck and the hand grabbing her legs disappeared. "Very good, my darling. Now, tell me, just where are those useless Flare admins hiding? I'm in no mood to play this game of Meowth and Rattata with them."

And ofc, Malva told her where, the two of em got the other Flare admins before the other Elites could. And idk, it's fun to think that Xerosic still had intentions at Lumiose to get mega stones from Augustine, and Dia was pissed man, so hey, she got all the admins to a place maybe, somewhere hidden, and Diantha made Malva watch as she let her Aegislash behead the remaining admins in front of her.

So yeah, now Malva's fucking terrified cause holy shit man, watching that was fucked up, and Diantha could do that to her too. She knows having Diantha's favour doesn't do much rn, if she so much as goes out of line, then she'd meet the same fate as the admins before her. And she'd rather not die just yet.

[mainstream-deviant]

Heyo - super excited for your prompt list and to see you getting back in the swing of writing, hell yeah :D I actually thought of two, so feel free to do one over another if you feel so inclined (or both! or neither! no rules here haha): 4 with Ryou + YM and / or 11 with Malik + TKB/YB (whichever one of your choosing)

Oooh, you gave me a deathshipping option. You should know what happens when there’s a good deathshipping option. 😂

Thank you so much for the prompt and the encouragement. You’re a gem. 💕

(If anyone else would like to request a sleepytime prompt, the list is HERE!)

Fandom: Yugioh DM

Pairing: Deathshipping (Ryou/Yami Marik)

Word Count: ~1000 (oh hush that's totally a drabble >.>)

Rating: F for Fluff

Context: Something vaguely post-cannon, when YM (Amir) is in the “oh shit I’m a whole person with whole emotions and a whole psyche and consequences?? Wtf?” part of the process and trying to Human. It's tiring work.

The mechanics of the mini-boss’s weapon were finally, finally, starting to look like they might possibly consider working with a just little extra encouragement. If he asked the monster world gods very very nicely. Maybe. He hoped. Ryou was just starting to wonder if he’d have to consider some sort of human sacrifice to get these stats to work when there was a thud from the doorway. He shifted out of the way just in time for the thump of a body hitting the couch.

“Tough day?” A stream of muffled grumbling drifted up from the cushion next to him, where Amir had planted himself firmly face-down in the cushions. Answer enough.

Ryou carefully extended a hand and very pointedly shifted his weight in Amir’s direction. Amir’s attitude towards comforting touch was… inconsistent, to say the least, so Ryou was ready for a sharp warning away. But this time the stream of grumblings continued despite the movement, so Ryou took that as permission and slipped his fingers into Amir’s wild hair to gently scratch at his scalp.

A large whoosh of air interrupted the grumbling for a second and Amir shifted an arm up under his head, tucking his face into his elbow. This just so happened to push his head further into Ryou’s fingers, a fact that he’s sure Amir would say was just coincidence if he pointed it out. Ryou smiled to himself and dug his nails in more firmly, taking full advantage of that point of contact.

They stayed that way for a while, as Amir’s already-muffled words slurred together more and more. Gaming statistics set aside for now, Ryou passed the time trying to figure out whether any of Amir’s mumblings were staying in one language from beginning to end. It didn’t sound like it. He must be exhausted, poor boy.

“You can rest, Amir. We’ll sort it tomorrow.” The string of syllables shifted to something vaguely assenting, before fading away entirely.  Ryou kept up the steady rhythm of his fingers until the last of the tension faded and Amir’s breaths smoothed out, slow and deep. Pleased, he took that as his cue and slouched into the corner of the couch, waiting.

It didn’t take long for Amir to twist around and shift toward Ryou. With a wakeful, whirring mind it was always debateable whether Amir would seek or avoid physical contact. But like this, quiet and sedate in a way his mind wouldn’t allow any other time, it was always the same.

It started with the warm press of a forehead into Ryou’s leg, insistent and kitten-like. Ryou smiled and continued to massage the back of Amir’s head, obligingly shifting his legs so Amir’s seeking arm could anchor them together more firmly. A deep sigh rushed warm air past his thigh as Amir settled further, apparently content for now. Ryou had to smile as Amir’s mouth softly fell open, huffing out little puffs of air into the small space between leg and couch. Anyone else would look suffocated in such a pose, but Amir seemed perfectly at ease. Whenever he finally slept, he slept like the dead. Ryou let his hand fall still, silence settling in like a thick mist.

With Amir seeming settled for the moment, Ryou’s thoughts drifted back towards his abandoned project. He twisted just a bit to try to get eyes back on his campaign materials. He could almost make out the chart he needed from here, and he had been so close to figuring out how the shielding was going to work…

A discontented grunt filtered up from near Ryou’s leg, and he looked down in time to catch a little scowl cross Amir’s brow. Alright then. No more campaign prep tonight. But if he wasn’t going to get any further on his campaign tonight, he could at least avoid having a crick in his neck come morning. Ryou settled back further on the couch and reached down to scratch at Amir’s shoulders, hoping he'd move a bit.  The scowl on Amir’s face deepened as Ryou shifted his legs to try to lift them onto the couch. He never like being disturbed. The arm around Ryou’s legs tightened and something startlingly close to a growl rumbled out of Amir’s chest. Somehow, it managed to sound petulant.

“I’m not leaving, I just want to lie down properly, you goon. Come on, let me go for a sec.” Giving up on subtlety entirely, Ryou threaded an arm underneath Amir’s shoulder to pry him off enough lie down on the couch properly.

It was debateable whether Amir ever actually woke up moments like this, but at least he always responded to the movement. He relaxed his clinging arm with a grumble while Ryou repositioned himself, eyes scrunched shut and scowl firmly in place. The moment Ryou settled down, Amir let out a low rumble and dove forward, shoving his head into Ryou’s stomach hard enough to force a huff of air from his lips. Ryou resumed petting Amir’s hair, catching his breath as well as he could even as Amir wound an arm around his waist and held him tight, tight, tight, squeezing the air right back out again. Ryou hugged Amir’s head close to his middle. His very own live lion plushie, he’d once said, much to Amir’s great annoyance. Ryou figured he could deal with it as compensation for enduring his subconscious anaconda traits. A leg hooked around one of Ryou’s, effectively locking in his sleeping position for the night. Well, at least he was horizontal now.

Quiet once again, Ryou let his eyes droop, warm in a tangle on the couch. He watched as Amir nuzzled in to the soft squish of his belly, scowl slowly receding now that his anchor was still. He didn’t let his eyes close the rest of the way until Amir’s lips gently parted again, loose and wafting warm breath as he sunk back down into the deep. With a sigh, Ryou joined him.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Sending some over right now☠

Oh I'm fine. My fingers are kinda scabbed but it's alright. Memories ig. Honestly I just laughed because girl it was hella funny. I ended up going back up that hill amd riding down it with no problems that time. It was really really fun.

How are you hun?

hhhhhhh I hate anything that goes wrong with fingers. Freaks me out. BUT yeah, sometimes we need to fall and get back up. I ride my bike for work and slammed brakes hard but not yet fallen (knock on wood). The hills are kinda scary though!!

settling in for the night, got out of the shower and waiting for some of my blankets to dry. My acne has died down on my chin (knock on wood) but is raining hellfire on my cheeks so that sucks. I'm learning the baby levels and the swim team level tomorrow at my job, shadowing instructors and partially leading and fully leading their classes this saturday and next saturday!! I'm really nervous!!

I finally have some down time, but I need to work on a poster for a psych night event. I also got invited to my university college of science and health honors banquet lunch! I honestly don't care and will not be going but it was nice to see that stupid GPA of mine recognized (rip my stats 1 grade)

[cirrin]

first nervous breakdown

monday ap gov, tuesday ap psych, wednesday ap lit, tomorrow ap macro and stats, next tuesday ap phys c

god while i was studying for stats tomorrow suddenly I just stopped being able to think about anything except how bad i would do because i literally dont remember any fucking thing about macro or stats and I know I have to pick one, but I don’t want to get a fucking 3 so i just started laughing hysterically and I didnt get anything done

[thevillagedyke]

i have two back up classes in my cart jic that fucking stats class shoots me in the head tomorrow. one of them is like. law and justice and the other is either abnormal pysch or social psych.

[ireceived-p8250000]

April 7-13, 2013

Sunday:

Studied for upcoming exams again. Did all home works and chores before going to my shift.

I went to my shift. A lot of people so I couldn't concentrate. I made a video again.

I went home at 11.

Monday:

No classes but I have to gather with my groupmates for the editing. I'm still waiting for Mansoor's entry and he saidhi he's in the area now.

We had quiz in Psych Stats.

Tomorrow is Holiday.

Tuesday:

It's holiday so, I checked on my herbs. Mansoor sent me the photos and his entry and I edited and integrated them into mine. I gave it to Fiona for finalization. She invited me to her house. So afternoon ai went to Trancoville. She was gracious.

We talked especially like travelling to Hong Kong which she did and that's why she absent for a week. I didn't notice her. She asked about me and Mansoor. She commented that he's a bit tight assed. We just laughed. She's a good company. She edited almost everything. Finished and went to my shift at the bookstore.

Wednesday:

We have lectures. Also I received a notification that I earn a spot for Dean's list. The awarding us on Friday.

When I arrived home, I told my mom immediately. One parent is only needed anyway.

Thursday:

We did our group dynamics activity.

It was successful.

Then AnaPhy on lymbic system and marathon lecture. More homework.

Friday: Another lecture and finalizing about the K-12 program.

And integration of theories.

Then OsychStats.

But we were excused for the dean list awarding. My mommy came with Dad. I have medal and certificate. Mansoor wasnt around. He congratulated me though.

I met him though after I they left. We said we'll celebrate on Sunday.

Saturday:

Group dynamics for SocOr. We will have talent show next week.

Long Quiz again for AnaPhy. Totally brain drain.

The bookshop. We haven't interacted much with Mansoor these days. He said he's busy ,too.

Then shift again. I was so sleepy.

April 7 to April 13, 2013:

Sunday:

I studied for upcoming exams and completed all my homework and chores before going to my shift. The bookstore was busy, making it hard to concentrate. I made another video and went home at 11.

Monday:

No classes today, but I had to meet with my groupmates for editing. I was waiting for Mansoor's entry; he said he was in the area. We had a quiz in Psych Stats. Tomorrow is a holiday.

Tuesday:

It's a holiday, so I checked on my herbs. Mansoor sent me his photos and entry, which I edited and integrated into mine. I gave it to Fiona for finalization. She invited me to her house, so in the afternoon, I went to Trancoville. She was gracious, and we talked, especially about her trip to Hong Kong, which explained her week-long absence. I hadn't noticed she was gone. She asked about Mansoor and me, commenting that he seemed a bit uptight. We just laughed. Fiona is good company and edited almost everything. We finished, and I went to my shift at the bookstore.

Wednesday:

We had lectures today. I received a notification that I earned a spot on the Dean's List. The awarding ceremony is on Friday. When I got home, I told my mom immediately. Only one parent is needed for the ceremony.

Thursday:

We did our group dynamics activity, which was successful. In AnaPhy, we covered the limbic system with a marathon lecture and received more homework.

Friday:

Another lecture and finalizing our project on the K-12 program, integrating various theories, followed by Psych Stats. We were excused for the Dean's List awarding. My mom and dad came with me. I received a medal and certificate. Mansoor wasn’t there, but he congratulated me later. We decided to celebrate on Sunday.

Saturday:

We worked on group dynamics for SocOr and prepared for next week’s talent show. We had a long quiz in AnaPhy, which was totally draining. I went to my shift at the bookstore. Mansoor and I haven’t interacted much these days as he’s also busy. I was so sleepy during my shift.

[cutebutahandful]

lil scar's 2k23 wrapped

2k23 health stats (from april onwards):

0 hospital stays

0 psychiatric medications

108 gym visits/swims

2 x breakdowns, 1 x suicidal ideation, 1 x panic attack

2k23 soul stats (whole year):

146 books read (genre read most often: fantasy) ((to no one's surprise))

10 concerts, 3 festivals, 1 play, 1 ballet recital

26 parties

travelled to 8 countries, of which umrah was the most significant

rediscovered old loves: pilates, taking long walks, swimming, reading

discovered new loves: decorating seoul apt, painting, kuromi, renaissance art, louis wain, mon rovia and soft fabric

an irrevocable positive change: my faith.

(the thing about stats is that it can be influenced by biases, esp in selection of metrics and presentation of data. my stats are biased as FUCK - i chose to limit my health stats from apr to dec 2023 since mar was when i was out of the hospital and back in regular society. the figures for breakdowns/panic attack/suicidal ideation would definitely spike from jan to mar but i dont want to focus on that period, i want to remember how i've fared on this healing journey.)

to understand why i chose the metrics i did, we need to rewind to 2022: isaiah's passing, a miscarriage, a violation that left me shattered, and walking away from the most toxic relationship that had me questioning my sanity. but here we are in 2k23, more or less on the other side of it all.

sure, i spent nov 2022 - mar 2023 calling the psych ward home but like rumi said, "the wound is the place where the light enters you." the corridors of the psych ward were a necessary refuge and it was there that i was diagnosed with PTSD & BPD. these acronyms became part of my vocabulary, diagnoses that didn't define me but explained a lot. not gunna lie though, the first days were like trying to climb a mountain blindfolded. grounding exercises were so difficult bc everything felt nebulous and out-of-reach. i felt like i was trapped in a deep fog with no way out and almost catatonic with no control over my body except my voice - even that died at my throat. i couldn't see beyond today, counting the day hour by hour, and the idea of tomorrow was suffocating. the hospital walls witnessed my tears, my silence, and the battles fought to just stay another day.

i'd say i was wholly broken back then but during this period, i was also offered a second chance: a chance to rebuild, to redefine, and to rediscover the essence of who i am. healing isn't about erasing the past but finding a way to coexist with it, to build a future that isn't dictated by the ghosts of my history. sure the scars remain but they're a testament to my resilience, not a roadmap of my pain.

i am not defined by the wounds of the past, but by the strength with which i rise above them.

come 2023, i made a conscious choice to focus on elements that breathe life into my spirit. work became my sanctuary, a space where creativity flowed like a river, and i found solace in the rhythm of productivity. a change of scenery – a new country, new faces, and new vistas – served as the backdrop for my baby metamorphosis. (and it was easy to be happy and to excel with Jay behind me.)

friends, as always, were my anchors, their laughter and steadfastness a balm to my wounds. i will never forget liam and matty immediately flying down to stay by me during the miscarriage and breakup, bryan choosing seating arrangements to make me feel safe, yao and noah staying on the phone with me for hours, ryan always making sure i was eating and moving, allie/cheryl/han/elly always listening to me cry and rage over the breakup and everyone sending me flowers even when i moved. i have always known that i was loved but i felt it even more so at my lowest🥺 

if there is one thing i am grateful for (and im gr8ful for a lot!), it would be my relationship w family, who stood by me with unwavering support. i was so scared to tell my parents about everything that happened, especially the assault, because i was filled with a lot of guilt and shame that i hadn't worked through. i was also terrified that this made me dirty and that i would lose their love but the very opposite happened. my mom was my bedrock - there were days when i was immobile and didn't have the strength to even shower. i remember crying because i loved my hair but i hated how i felt/looked and my mom immediately came the next day with a new bottle of shampoo/conditioner and she shampooed my hair for me. i wasn't judged for the state i was in, and my dad affirmed his love for me too.

i honestly would not have been able to come this far without the support of my community. in their eyes, i saw reflections of the woman i was becoming – and even if i didn't believe in a "it gets better", what was important was that liam believed it, my mom believed it and they both love me so even if i don't believe it and can't see it yet, i will hold their hand and walk over to this next stage bc they would never lead me to something bad.

speaking of bad, there's the issue of T. i don't think they've invented words or metaphors that can capture the depth of hurt he has lashed upon me but i will say this: while the violation may have been the straw that broke the camel's back last year, it was T who hurt me and broke me far more grievously than that man. i forgave my assailant, but i don't forgive T. this is esp hard bc there is still love for him lingering in my heart and sometimes i feel it with the same intensity as i did when we were together. it comes much more infrequently now and doesn't make me cry as much but i hate that my heart harbors that tenderness for a man so callous and unkind. when i feel that love now, i pour it into other people but everytime i think i've emptied my heart out, i find another layer still. what's vexing is that i can't do anything about either the rage or the love - i just need to feel it and let it pass. how can one heart hold such intense, opposing feelings? fuck if i know, but i need it to be done. it took me four years to get over marcus and i pray it takes me less than half the time of that to get over tylr. i havent watched many movies this year bc they remind me too much of him and i end up feeling nauseous and anxious but 2024 will hopefully see me overcome this!!

anw looking back on all that's happened - yeah, i'm not the same person i was when all this started but who wants to stay the same forever? i am proud of all that i've accomplished this year, especially my projects with Jay - it's no secret how much i admire his work ethic, and being around him lends me an additional edge that drives me more keenly. he's also granted me access to a lot of people/places/things that i wouldn't even have thought about and to be given that kind of platform is always humbling. i feel secure in my relationships too - if there was ever a time my loved ones would've abandoned me, it would've been last year when i was a husk of the person they know. now that i'm better, i want to do even more to be present and show my love for them, even on days when it's hard for me to show up for myself.

also, i think i've reached a level of peace i can call normal yet here's the kicker – is my 'normal' just catching up to what others take for granted? it's a weird realization, stepping into stability and wondering if it's just the baseline everyone else hangs out at effortlessly.

i expected to feel something momentous at the end of 2k23 but as the last day of the year draws to an end, i stand neither crushed nor liberated by everything that's happened. but maybe it's enough to just stride forward and embrace the limitless possibilities the universe has to offer me because if i got through what i did, i can def get through anything else.

[silvaurum]

oh yeah i remember why i paused hw and logged on:

p < 0.05 is pathetic. i can't believe thats the statistical norm for confidence in science. 5% chance of something being a fluke is small if you have 100 people on earth but that's fucking absurd for the populations we deal with now. 1 in 20? there's a 1 in 20 chance we're wrong about $thing in a study that effects how we treat/legislate for millions of people? christ it should be 1 in 1000 at fucking minimum for statistical significance beyond the very preliminary stages. you can do p < 0.05 if you're looking for something to test, but to publish a paper looking at populations the size we do in social and behavioral science with a 1 in 20 chance of being wrong?? just by chance! no wonder there's a replicability crisis! 1 in 20 is if your sample is immaculate and unbiased LMAO, with the awful shit in psych fields and the bias against negative findings. no shit. 0.05. my asshole you fucking hacks if there's a 0.05 chance the sky falls tomorrow nasa would put out a psa to shit yourself bc we're going to die. 0.05. you know what at that point just call it a best guess

anyway i like my stats class. or i like stats. the class is ok. it's nicce being deliriously sick actually because the lecture are finally at the right pace for me now. she can just sit there adding numbers in the calculator on screen for as many minutes as she wants and i can just lay there following along and only get mildly annoyed

[autopsytableromance]

2 and a half hours of work and then I still have psych homework and to make my notecard for stat test tomorrow. Please just fucking put me down at this point. It’s more humane. I’m

[z0mbyw00f]

quick vent under the cut. feel free to skip.

it's so frustrating that I was legitimately happy for a few days, and now I feel awful again. I can never be happy. I'm so overwhelmed and I don't know why. guy I do lab prep for was snippy w me today + 5 separate students shattered glassware within 20mins and it fucked me up for the rest of the day. on top of that, my dickhead psych teacher projected the stats for the ACTUAL METHOD that my dad died of. for like half the class, causing me to have flashbacks. it sucks that I can never ask for help, man. telling any 'trusted adult' outside of my family about literally any of my struggles is a 1 way ticket to a psych hospital because no one can understand that I'm suicidal but would never attempt "it's safer" no. it's not. I need one fucking person that will listen and not say "just don't think about it duh" (my mother ACTUALLY says this). somebody that understands that I won't hurt myself. it just really fucking sucks, yk? I'm so stressed I'm fucking crying over my sociology test tmmr even though I KNOW I'm going to ace it bc I got every question on the review right. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. therapy is so inaccessible to my family. being able to have a word for what the fuck causes me to act like this would make me feel so much better. idk. hopefully I feel better tomorrow. sleep tends to help.

[clumsyclifford]

AM BEING SO PRODUCTIVE

[punxsutawneyfilth]

Tomorrow’s going to be the fucking worst

[diamondwaters]

❝ silhouette ❞ prologue

summary: you'd have been stupid to pass up the offer of teaching at an understaffed school for student loan forgiveness. it almost seemed a dream come true had it not been in a city still reeling from an attack that left utter devastation in its wake. but, if you kept your head down, kept your voice low, you would be able to survive the shadows of gotham city. you weren't yet aware of what, or rather, who those shadows were exactly.

pairing: battison! bruce wayne x fem! plus size! reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: mention of alcohol, fear

author's note: i found out gotham is in new jersey and full took advantage of this fact while writing this.

4 YEARS AGO

“OKAY, OKAY COME ON,” YOU groaned as your friend pulled you further into the wooded area behind the dorm buildings. “I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

New Jersey had its fair share of universities, most of which were nestled in areas within walking distance of the nearest Wawa. You, however, just had to decide upon the one school greenery as far as the eye could see. Not that what was in front of you could be considered greenery at 10:47 at night.

The campus wasn’t completely covered in darkness, but it wasn’t illogical to say that what little light there was had been struggling to overpower the pitch black of the night. With only a sliver of a waning crescent and the blue light boxes every thirty feet or so, you were only able to see so much of the path in front of you before shadows overwhelmed the ground.

“And why not?” Your friend, Avery, groaned.

There was a party on the other side of campus, a bonfire to be precise, in celebration of the football team’s win. While you truly would’ve loved to stand amidst your peers who’d most certainly be taking part in activities that would get your position as an RA revoked, you had other things to do.

“There’s a stats exam tomorrow and I can’t miss it.”

“You’re not even the one taking the exam!” Avery argued.

“Yes, but what example would it set for the students if their TA isn’t even there?” You asked back. “Besides, Raymond would chew me out if I missed. And it’s not like she wouldn’t know where I was if I called out sick; that woman knows everything that goes down on this campus!”

You could tell that Avery was slipping. They knew you weren’t kidding about that. One time, Professor Raymond sensed one of her students was going to attempt to cheat on the quiz. The entire time, she’d stared him down, not even giving him the chance to slyly pull out the calculator he had stashed away in his sweater sleeve.

But Avery was nothing if not determined, “How about this? How about we go for, like, an hour? Have maybe, I don’t know, one or two drinks? Yeah? I heard the quarterback’s girlfriend is bringing those Buzzball things you’re always saying you wanna try!”

It was a tempting offer. Even so, no matter how tempted you might’ve felt, you couldn’t just ignore your obligations. You were getting ready to voice this, but Avery must have sensed this and beat you to the punch.

“And…” Their voice trailed off knowingly. It couldn’t be good for your will, the way they were speaking. “I happen to have it under good authority that a certain psych lab assistant will be in attendance this evening.”

Fuck. The promise of Adrian Valcourt being there made this a done deal. “One drink. I don’t need to be nursing a hangover at 8 in the morning.”

Avery didn’t say anything in return, merely turned on their shoulder and began to giddily skip in the direction of the party destination. Likely due to the fact that they didn’t want to rub their victory in your face and have you run back to your dorm just to spite them.

There was a trail from the freshman side of campus- where you had resided only due to your Residential Assistant status- to the upperclassmen dorms. It wasn’t too long a walk, but it went through a dense forest and across the lake that was smack dab in the middle. Unlike the other walkways around campus, there were no streetlights to brighten the path. And while it wasn’t such a bad commute during the day, at night, it was hell.

There wasn’t anybody on the trail, which acted as another factor to the eerie atmosphere. You hadn’t expected there to be; nobody invites freshmen to anything for the same reason they live on the opposite side of the campus. They’re idiots. (You could say this because, at one point, you were an idiot as well.)

“Shit,” You heard Avery swear. “I forgot the notes I said I’d give to my classmate tonight. I’m gonna run back to the dorm to go get them real quick!”

You had already been about a third of the way into your walk. You had already felt the shivers begin to rack your body, and they weren’t from the cold. Not wanting to be left to your own devices, you squeaked out,  “Oh, I’ll go with y-”

“No, it’s okay! If you go it’ll only…” You heard the pause in their voice. It only took that to grasp their intended meaning. “I’ll just be right back. Promise.”

You watched them jog further down the path. Their words, or lack of, bounced about in your head. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard them or anything adjacent to the point they were attempting to make, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t stop hurting. Especially when it came from a good friend.

Pushing yourself to ignore the emotional pain now residing in your chest, you forced yourself to look anywhere besides the dirt trail Avery ran down. At first, the lake seemed the perfect option. The waters acted as a mirror for the moon to gaze into. Although, it would’ve been a better mirror had the fallen leaves of autumn not drifted upon the surface after a particularly forceful gust of wind.

There were several trees from which these leaves fell, and even more trees in the forest surrounding you as well. So, why you chose this specific set of trees was beyond you. Well, that isn’t entirely true, if you were really being honest with yourself…

The leaves from this tree were so abundant, rather unseasonable to be sure, that no moonlight reached the earth beneath them. Whatever laid beyond the towering trunks was cascaded in shadows, invisible to your eye.

Your fingers clenched. Unclenched. The skin of your limbs rubbed harshly against each other. Every nerve screamed at the feeling of being touched, even if it was the clothes on your back to the very sweat building on your brow. It was almost a welcome feeling. Perhaps if you were so occupied being disgusted by the sensation of anything else, you could numb yourself to the chills spread across every inch of your exterior.

Your interior was just as bad, if not worse. Every organ was working overtime. Adrenaline was flooding through your system at high speed. If you had the capability of thought again, you could probably name each and every procedure your system was going through at that very moment. You could’ve named the parts of the brain that were secreting the hormones that were making your muscles feel as though you’d turn to stone. But thought of anything beyond what was staring at you alluded you.

That fragment of unchallenged darkness wouldn’t break eye contact with you. It was telling you, daring you to look away. It wouldn’t tell you what the repercussions were should you spare even a fleeting glance to the world around you. As far as it was concerned, it became the world.

“Y/N?”

Your shoulders shot up to your ears at the voice invading upon your coveted silence. You quickly turned to see Avery looking at you, concern etched onto their features and a spiral notebook in their hand.

You swallowed the spit you didn’t realize was puddling in your mouth. You abandoned the wide eyes and the tight-lipped grimace you donned in favor of a more socially comforting expression: an average smile. All the while, your heart was still battering against your rib cage. Sweat still lined your skin, making your hands feel like they were freezing off from the November wind.

“G-Got what you need?” Yet even with an ordinary countenance, your words had failed you.

“Um,” Avery blinked, then nodded. “Y-Yeah, I got it. Are you, um, are you okay?”

“Of course!” You answered that too quickly. You knew it. Avery knew it. “Can we go now? Please?”

Avery wasn’t going to be one to argue this, something you were thankful for. They tilted their head towards the right path, turning with the slight nod.

You couldn’t help the final glance you cast over your shoulder. There was nothing there. You knew that. You also knew there was nothing within it. It was only trees. Just trees and... just trees.

[crobby]

three hours later and i’ve simply decided that i will just have to suffer through the rest of my homework tomorrow bc i’m DONE

OK I HAVE A LOT OF CHEMISTRY AND STATS HOMEWORK SO I WILL DO THE REST OF THEM TOMORROW!!

[algandarsplaguepositive]

The high point of today was probably being told I look nice but aside from that, this entire day can eat a dick and I want to forget it ever happened.