#tomorrow i get 2 wraps again instead of just one and something else

[tardis--dreams]

Living my best life eating the same food every single day here

[atiny-for-life]

Ice On My Teeth - Teaser 1: Observations

Before the MV drops tomorrow, here are some things I already noticed about the teaser:

There's a golden "A" on the building, indicating this is not the Black Pirates' mansion but someone else's. I instinctively wanna say it's Ateez's but they later burn it down so I doubt it.

Also, when we last saw Ateez, they were back in the A-World and all sad and depressed about being apart, so it'll be interesting to see which version of Ateez this is. Are we back in the Z-World? Are we with Halazia's Ateez? It's tough to say just yet.

Also, someone seems to be trying to pull all the furniture through the tiny window on the top floor, though why and how they plan on doing so, I'm not sure.

This guy is a doctor (we see medical equipment in the room he's in) and Yunho's showing him something that has the appearance of a CT scan but shows the mansion instead of a brain.

We see this man again in the second teaser which will explain to us why he looks so nervous here.

Yeosang's inside the mansion (which is architecturally reminiscent of the museum in Strictland - the one from Say My Name) and he's got some masked goons with him who are also depicted on a giant framed picture in the back which is rather peculiar and puts some validity behind the theory of this being a dream/not real.

Or, alternatively, maybe this is another universe or a cult of some kind in which all people are forced to wear masks and this is the cult leader's art collection. I really don't know.

Side-note: I wouldn't be surprised if Yeosang hits this tennis ball in the MV and it turns out to be a grenade or something.

As @yeontan-my-love pointed out to me, the album release date is November 15th, which is likely what Jongho's digital pocket watch here is referring to.

Next we've got one of the many ballerinas we've gotten to see throughout the promo material. And again, we also get to see many paintings featuring masked individuals in the back. This is clearly an unusual museum/art collection, dedicated to all forms of art, not just paintings and sculptures.

We also get to see the ballerina's eye as she's looking at the spinning record of Golden Hour on which Wooyoung then appears in the next shot.

Fur coat wearing Hongjoong is front and center in the next shot, kneeling by a lit fireplace as two cubes appear in the flames in front of him. Not sure what this means yet, but it could be a reference to the phrase "roll of the dice", aka your future is determined by chance.

We then get some flashing text over fur coat wearing San's frame, reading "You the one I'm tryna finish" which is likely a hint at the lyrics.

Dressed up like Zorro, Seonghwa then appears in a hallway as ballerinas run/dance up behind him and hurry past him.

Mingi begins aggressively playing the piano as we show up, which wraps up the individual introductions and, once again, shows this museum's dedication to containing all forms of art.

The words "We don't have time" then keep flashing across the screen as we cut to a scene of Seonghwa going to sit with the other members and their goons outside the mansion/museum, which leads us back to the reason why they're here.

They are on a mission of some kind, perhaps in a shared dream, and they're running out of time to complete it. Whatever that mission may be though, I can't be sure yet, but we get some clues in the second teaser.

Ice On My Teeth - Teaser 2: Observations

We're in the same building but it's now on fire and a painting of two masked people dressed like Victorian royalty is ablaze - the fire was undoubtedly set by Ateez which means they have a strong hatred for everything within this building or what it represents (the hoarding of wealth? the people depicted on the art? the owner of this collection?).

The ballerinas are entirely unperturbed by the flames, as is Seonghwa (which, again, makes it seem more like this might not be real).

Jongho is in an office, a ballerina statue on the desk behind him and a giant clock on the far wall. There's also a golden emblem hung up on the wall which likely matches the one seen on the building's facade.

The record Wooyoung is laying on is now also on fire, but he's unaffected, seemingly even wearing a nightgown. Very cozy, very relaxed.

Yunho is right outside the building amid two walls of fire. Was he the one who set it? Perhaps.

We next get the small piece of choreo we've gotten to see prior to the live stream they did just now in which Hongjoong and Wooyoung showed us a piece of the chorus.

In the back, we here get to see the furniture they dragged outside to burn it.

Next, is the most telling shot to me: the doctor Yunho talked to earlier is being dragged across the driveway outside while Yeosang watches on in the shade of his umbrella, far from shocked.

From this we can derive this guy, this doctor, owns this place. And the scan Yunho showed him earlier? It must have revealed that Ateez know there's something hidden inside the mansion, something this doctor was trying to keep secret, likely something shady, perhaps even illegal.

In the final shot, the mansion has been burnt to the ground and Hongjoong has walked back inside to retrieve a tooth from a lower jaw left behind in the rubble. It must be the thing they were searching for. But why? Is this a CIA kinda tooth which contains a hidden compartment for a cyanide capsule or what? There's no real telling just yet.

Regardless, this is just what I could spot on a closer watch through of the teasers. I'm really excited for the full release tomorrow, especially the MV and the b-sides on the album!

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

The silence that surrounded the couple wasn’t the usual comfortable air, the type of silence where just existing in the same space was enough for them. But this wasn’t it, this was tense, uncertain as they stared at each other, one waiting for the other to speak first, to say something- anything. 

“You can’t come here again” You spoke up first, staring across the entrance of your family's estate. “Kyojuro, listen to me. I am to be married, my family has made the decision and I am to be lady of the Tsugimoto house.” Your face was calm but your eyes spoke so clearly, the tears that were lining your eyes, so close to spilling over, the pleading they held, you didn’t want this.

“You can’t possibly be married, I’ve been courting you” Kyojuro knew how this worked, he followed the advice of his mom, but that was years ago, maybe things changed? 

“Kyojuro” Your voice was weaker seeing the desperation on his face as he took tentative steps towards you. “Please, I am promised to another, we can’t.” Your arms had wrapped around your midsection, holding yourself to stop from crying. Kyojuro’s world was collapsing around him, in that moment he understood why his father had fallen so hard. 2 years he had been courting you, the proposal was going to be in 2 weeks when you came to visit his family, Tengen had been helping to finalize all the details to make the night as romantic as possible. The night you promised to love each other for the rest of your lives.

“No” His voice was wavering, trying to hold back tears as you closed in on yourself, the walls around your heart slamming shut in front of his eyes.

“Kyojuro, please, there is nothing to be done. You need to leave” 

“No, I will not, how much did your family gain? I will double it, triple it even. Please, Y/N.” He was so close now, if he reached out he might be able to graze your arm, maybe even hold you. You had the same realization, stepping back as he stepped forward, a dance of heartbreak instead of love.

“I am to be wed tomorrow, you need to leave this isn’t appropriate.” You were panicked, scared that if he continued you would break, do anything to keep him, but you would risk everything, your family, your security, for what? A man whose job didn’t guarantee his safe return?

“You don’t love him” Kyojuro stopped trying to chase you

“I can learn”

“No, you can’t Y/N, you and I both know that.” He was right, you could never love another the way you loved Kyojuro. He was so easy to love, just being in his presence was enough to leave a smile on your face. “Let me talk to your father, please give me a chance” He was pleading, not above getting on his knees and begging for your hand.

“There will be no need, Rengoku. She is to be wed and it’d be smart for you to accept that and go back to the Demon Slayers. There is no future for you with my daughter. Y/N, inside, Now!” Standing on the engawa was your father, his sharp gaze unwavering from Kyojuro’s own watery gaze. He always scared the flame hashira, no demon could come close to the disdain on your father's face. His gaze softened as he watched you disappear into the house, reluctant and ready to fight but knowing that the past few days since your engagement have been nothing but fighting. “She said she wrote telling you of her engagement, so why are you here?” disgust laced his words like he was spitting at a lowly beggar. 

“I had to see for myself, sir. I had to know that it was true, to hear her say it.” 

“Well? Satisfied?” Kyojuro gave a stiff nod, biting his tongue as our father turned towards the house and left, leaving Kyojuro to pick up the pieces of his heart from the yard and tuck them away safely, making sure not to leave any behind. This would be the last time he was here, the last time he loved because no one else would be you and you weren’t his anymore. Looking up at the house he had spent many nights at, he caught you looking down at him, tears flowing down your cheeks as you looked out your bedroom window, the same one he had snuck through just a week ago. I love you you mouthed before dropping the curtain, disappearing for the last time. 

A/N- This is lowkey shitty but i have zero energy for anything. shout out to chronic pain/illness.

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- A New Baby Pt1

I never thought I'd get married and have kids. I just didn't think that I would ever find a man I'd consider having that kind of life with, but when Kelly Severide stepped into my life everything change. We didn't meet in the best of way. He's a fireman and I'm a police dog handler. There had been a bombing and they asked me to send my search and rescue dogs in. I fell for the guy there and then.

5 years on and we are married and have a beautiful daughter who's just turned 3 named Harper.

Today I woke up feeling off. Headache and nausea on and off. I have today off from work which is fantastic, but also my daughter is here and as much as I love her she can be an absolute nightmare

"Harper can you pick your toys up please"

"No thank you mommy" at least she's using her manners right?

"Harper. Daddy won't be happy when he comes home"

"Daddy loves me so he won't shout" Harper shrugs and she's right. She's a daddy's girl and she has him wrapped round her little finger. I'm always the bad guy and that's fine this is our dynamic, but sometimes it would be good to get a little help off him

"Right come on pick the toys up before someone hurts themselves"

"But I'm playing with them mommy"

"Harper I'm not feeling very well so please pick up your toys. I'll help, but your not getting anything else out until these toys are put away"

"Fine" Harper shouts and I rub my head as a headache begins again.

Once all the toys have been picked up I sit down on the couch and close my eyes for a moment

"Mommy?"

"Yes princess?" I open one eye to look at her

"When's dinner?"

"When daddy gets home"

"When's that?"

"Soon" I reply "I'm going to take a nap. You know the rules"

"Don't unlock the door and daddy has a key to get in. Can I play upstairs?"

"Yes, but don't run"

Before I know it I'm being woken up by Kelly's voice and touch. I open my eyes and see Kelly smiling at me

"When did you get home?" I yawn

"Just. How long have you been asleep?"

"Not long" I reply glancing at the clock "how was work today?"

"The usual, how was Harper?"

"Giving me hell"

"You made any supper?"

"No not yet" I shake my head

"I'll order us some food instead. What do you fancy?"

"To be honest Kel, I don't feel to good. Think I might be coming down with something. Just order yourself and Harper something"

"You need to eat. Even if it's just some rice or something"

"Ok" I give in to Kelly. 

Once our food has arrived we all sat down together. I take small bites of food and small sips of water

"So Harper. Have you been a good girl for mommy today?" Kelly asks. Harper lowers her head a little

"I wasn't naughty and mommy has been lazy today"

"Mommy said she isn't feeling very well so you need to be a big girl and help her"

"But..."

"No buts. Now eat your food and then it's bath then bed time"

"Fine" Harper pouts and takes her time eating her tea trying to make her bedtime later.

Once the Harper is in bed me and Kelly curl up on the sofa together watching TV. I swallow feeling more and more nauseous until I can't keep it down any more and the urge to throw up over comes me. I jump off the couch and run to the downstairs bathroom, Kelly following behind me.

Once I finish throwing up Kel and I head upstairs to bed

"You feeling any better?" Kelly asks as I change into one of his shirts

"Yeah. The nauseas gone now. Im just super tired. I've had a headache all day so its probably that that's made me sick"

"Maybe your pregnant" Kelly says. I roll my eyes at him

"I'm not pregnant"

"Are you sure because we're not very carful" Kelly states and to be fair he's got a point "you've been tired all week. We said if you were to get pregnant we'd be happy"

"Of course I would be, but had my period 2 weeks ago"

"Could be 2 weeks pregnant"

"Kel I'm not pregnant" I sigh getting into bed

"This is exactly what you were like with Harper"

"If it makes you feel any better I'll take a test tomorrow"

"Ok" Kelly kisses the top of my head and then wraps his arm around my waist and we both fall asleep.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Not So Happy Birthday

AN: He should have known better

Synopsis: You have been spending a lot of time with Ace planning something for Jack and you wanted to get everything just right. Too bad everything blows up in your face.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: a beautiful anon 💖

Appearances by: @nattinatalia and @hoodharlow 😘😘

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was 2 am and Jack was sleeping peacefully next to you. When you had heard his light snores,  you took advantage of that and were texting Ace to help you plan a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend of three months.

Jack had asked you to visit him on tour and you quickly agreed. You had that advantage seeing that you worked at your parent's company and could come and go as you pleased.

You were what people called a trust fund baby. You didn’t have to work, but you chose to, wanting to say that you earned something for yourself. 

You were introduced to Jack by Ace after the two of you had met and hooked up, but it didn't go anywhere. The two of you remained close and became really good friends and he got the bright idea of introducing you to Jack. When that happened, you could have sworn that your heart stopped when you saw these blue eyes.

Even though the relationship was still fairly new, you found yourself wanting to spend all your free time with him if both of your schedules allowed it. 

Your best friend Blanca was excited for you since she couldn't remember the last time she saw you so happy, but she also happened to have no problem threatening Jack and told him that if he hurt you to count his days. 

While your other best friend Jessica was just happy that you found something else to occupy your time with instead of just work.

The idea that you came up with for the party is that it would be Louisville themed so Jack could have a little taste of home while being on tour. You knew it did get hard sometimes, so you decided that you would do what you could in order for him to fill the void without actually being home. You had also planned to fly out his parents, grandparents, as well as Clay on your family’s private jet and everything would take place in one of the vacation houses that your parents owned.

The current conversation with Ace centered around what type of cake you thought he would want and the different foods to have. Urban, Quiiso, 2fo and Shloob were going to help you go and pick out a gift for him tomorrow. They were all in on the plan and the only other person you wanted to tell was Druski. Jack told you that he would be coming later in the week and you will fill him in on the details then. 

Ace- OPEN BAR!

You- Ace! My baby doesn’t drink! We all know this!

Ace- Okay, but I do! And I’m helping you plan this soooo once again, OPEN BAR!

You- Okay, okay! I’ll have the open bar, and I can ask our private chef if he can do the food, or should we get it catered from somewhere? Like this is more so an intimate setting with all of his closest family and friends

Ace- Get Morris Deli sandwiches

You- Ace, imma smack you. NO.

Ace- What in the world is your private chef going to cook? Spoiled ass smh

You- Hmm, I’m thinking of multiple options. Chicken, fish, beef, and then we have our vegetarian options so that everyone can have something to choose from that they like. And of course all of Jack’s favorites

Ace- His favorite is you

You- But I cannot be spread eagle on the dinner table 

Ace- Says who?!? Jack will only want to be around you anyway, ever since he laid his eyes on you it’s like we don’t exist

You- Stop being dramatic

Just then you felt Jack move closer to you and wrap his arms tighter around you and whisper in your ear.

“Mamas, why are you still up? You complained about wanting to go to sleep and you're steadily typing away on your phone. Put it down and go to sleep.”

“Okay, just one more thing that I have to do and then I will, I promise.”

“Baby, you stay overworking yourself and I thought I told you about that.”

“But!”

“I get it, you’re a perfectionist and when you want things done a certain way you do them yourself, but you have all day to do that. Come and cuddle with me please.”

How could you say no to that?

You- He’s awake so we shall continue this conversation later

Ace- And snails better not be on the menu either with your bougie ass

You- Imma order them from room service to you in the next city we go to

Ace- 😐😐😐😐

You put your phone on the charger as Jack kissed your shoulder and you then fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was around 6 am when you had also dragged Ace to wake up and go to the gym downstairs in the hotel with you.

As much as he put up a fight, he finally agreed and you let Jack sleep in.

“We only slept for four hours! I’m tired!” Ace whined as you began to warm up on the treadmill.

“Stop being a big baby! I have to use all of my free time to plan this so that he doesn’t find out. I want this to be special for him. He’s worked so hard and definitely deserves this.”

“Are you at least buying me breakfast after this?”

“Did you not hear anything I just said?! All you’re focused on is eating and going back to sleep.”

“Do you blame me?! Since no, you and your family are the types to wake up on Thanksgiving ad run a fucking 5K. Jack has no idea what he has gotten himself into. And quite frankly I don’t know either, but I WANT OUT!”

“Did I ever mention how dramatic you were? Now I have to go finalize the details for his cake and pick up one of the gifts that I got him today and Neelam knows the deal. Keep him distracted so that he doesn't suspect anything. If worse comes to worse, I went shopping and that really isn’t a lie… and… Ace you can lift heavier than that. That’s only five pounds.”

“I’m a beginner, do not shame me.”

“This isn’t Planet Fitness and you are not a beginner so I am shaming you. Get those 40s and stop playing around. The sooner we get done, the better.”

“Are you this hard on Jack when he works out with you?”

“The only working out with him that I’ve ever done is sex so no.”

“And I did not need to know that.”

“Well you asked.” You answered Ace while shrugging and going over to the bar to do squats.

When you and Ace had finished, the two of you went back upstairs to your rooms to get ready for the day and you walked in to see Jack looking like he just woke up and was rubbing his eyes.

“Baby, where’d you go?”

“Downstairs to the gym, I dragged Ace with me and now I’m going to shower and I promised him that I would buy him breakfast for waking him up so early. Just didn’t say when he was going to get the breakfast. Maybe he’ll get it next week from me.”

“Not you making the man work out and not feeding him. Your workouts be hard as hell and that’s the least you can do. I am never working out with you. The most work out you’ll get out of me is giving you this dick and that’s it.”

“You two are definitely friends because he complained the entire time too. My workouts are not that bad.”

“Baby, 2fo couldn’t walk for three days after he went to the gym with you, I’ll pass. But, you know we could always save water since I have to get ready too.” Jack answered you while wiggling his eyebrows.

All you did in response was peel off your workout bra and let it land on the floor and Jack’s eyes went wide quickly following you into the bathroom. 

Druski came a few days earlier than expected, and you hadn’t been able to get a chance to talk to him because he always happened to be around Jack.

You would try to pull him to the side tonight while Jack was performing to tell him the plan and explain what was happening, but it seemed as if he had been a little standoffish towards you since the other day. He saw you along with Ace having lunch in the city and kind of stood a little to the side so that the two of you wouldn’t notice him. The two of you had gotten hungry on your excursion of trying to find yet another gift for Jack so the two of you stopped to get food. Little did you know Druski had taken pictures and sent them to Jack. But that wasn’t all, this had happened every day since he had been there and noticed how if he saw Ace, that you weren’t far behind and the last thing he wanted was for one of his good friends to get hurt. 

Jack didn’t quite know how to feel when Druski told him and sent him the pictures.

He had told you about his trust issues and that his last relationship ended because he ended up getting cheated on.

But that wasn’t it.

He got cheated on and she got pregnant by the person that she cheated on him with.

So when Ace came to him and told him about you, he had his hesitations, but Ace insisted that Jack give you a chance and he finally agreed. 

He knew that the two of you had hooked up in the past, but Ace assured him that he had no feelings for you whatsoever and that the two of you were just friends.

Now if that were true, why were you all over the city with Ace and it was just the two of you? And every day?

When he sat down and thought about it, you had been blowing him off to spend time with Ace and now he knew what he had to do.

He wasn’t about to get hurt again, so he needed to end it before it got to that point.

You had gotten Jack a specialized necklace that had ‘KY’ on it and was making your way back to the hotel to put it away before tonight’s show. It came in handy to know multiple jewelers in different states as well as different countries. 

There were still about two weeks to go until the actual party, but everything was just about ready and set into place.

You were excited to be able to do this for your boyfriend and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

He had spoiled you early on in your relationship and you wanted to be able to return the favor. 

Once you reached your shared hotel room with Jack, you walked in to see your suitcases by the door and Jack sitting on the bed with a defeated look on his face. 

“Umm, did I miss something? Is everything okay?” You asked while trying to come closer to Jack, but he immediately got up and moved away from you.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked while setting the bag down that contained his necklace on the nightstand.

“I should have known it was too good to be true, so you can take your shit and this plane ticket and go the fuck home. I don’t need to be cheated on again. And the fact that you did this knowing my trust issues? You got some fucking nerve.”

“First of all, what? And second of all, I would NEVER cheat on you.”

“Well that’s the same thing she said and she did and ended up getting pregnant in the process.”

“Jack, where is this coming from?!”

“It doesn’t matter, you got caught.”

“I didn’t get caught because I didn’t even do anything. You know how much I care about you!”

“Do I?” Jack asked and your breath hitched in your throat.

“I would never. I know how it feels too so why in the world would I do that to you?! You won't even tell me who I apparently cheated on you with!”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore. Here’s your ticket and I want you gone by the time I get back from my show.” Jack said while leaving it on the bed and slamming the door behind him.

You were at a loss for words and immediately started to cry.

Confused, hurt were just a few things that you were feeling and you just didn’t understand how the two of you had gotten to this point.

You looked down at the ticket to see that the flight was for 7 PM which was two hours from now and decided to catch an uber to the airport.

If he wanted you gone, he was going to get his wish.

And he better not come crawling back to you either once he realized what he did.  

Jack’s show was about to start and Ace was looking all over for you since he had a suggestion about the party and wanted to run it by you. He went to go ask Jack and when he went into his dressing room, he saw him with a pissed off look on his face and Druski not even acknowledging his presence.

“Where’s Y/N? Has anyone seen her?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Druski said and Ace looked at him confused.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Jack, where is your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend and she should be on a plane going home by now 30,000 feet in the air.” 

Ace was immediately confused.

“What? Why? What happened?”

“You two happened, that’s what. I should have known that it was too good to be true talking about we only hooked up once, but we’re still friends and don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Because we fucking don’t! I’ve been trying to get at one of her best friends, Blanca! So where the fuck is this coming from? As much as she talks about you and how highly she talks about you, ain’t no way in hell she would cheat, especially with me!”

“Then what the fuck were yall doing all cozy and shit this entire week?” Druski asked and Ace immediately got quiet.

“Don’t get quiet now. I have the pictures to prove it.” Druski added while Jack was simply scrolling through his phone trying to not think about his girlfriend cheating on him with one of his best friends.

“Pictures to prove what exactly? Her planning a surprise party for him for his birthday in two weeks? Is that it? Because that’s what we’ve been doing and she’s actually been doing this for an entire fucking month.” 

“Wait, what?” Jack asked while putting his phone down and looking at Ace.

“Now you really thought I would hurt you like that and sleep with your girlfriend when all she asked for was my help because she wanted to do something special for you? All she does is talk about you.”

“Oh shit.” Druski muttered while looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Here, you can check my text messages to her to prove it.” Ace said while handing Jack his phone and he began scrolling to see that he was in fact telling the truth.

“You’re more of a dumbass than I thought and now you’ve probably lost her for good. She deserved better than you kicking her off tour and sending her home all because of a miscommunication and you probably didn’t even give her a chance to explain. And knowing Blanca, she is not going to let you anywhere near her because I know she’s going to tell her what you did. So congratulations, you just fucked up your relationship with a girl who would do absolutely anything for you. Oh, should I mention that the party was going to take place at one of her family’s vacation houses, with a private chef and she was flying in your parents, grandparents as well as Clay? You don’t deserve any of it for how you treated her.”

All Jack could do was sit there in utter disbelief.

“And Druski, the next time, I mean if there is one since you know Y/N is probably done with his ass and might be done with me too since I introduced them to each other, just fucking ask me.” Ace said before slamming Jack’s dressing room door behind him.

“I..” Druski started to say, but Jack immediately held up his hand to cut him off.

“You better come up with a good fucking plan in order for me to get my girlfriend back since all of this is your damn fault.” 

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[thetriumphantpanda]

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter 2)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller. 

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 3K

Warnings / Descriptions of grief and depression, soft!Joel (He needs his own warning I swear), slow burn but nothing else

Authors Note / I AM SO OVERWHELMED FOR THE LOVE FOR CHAPTER ONE. I'm so glad you guys have enjoyed it so far. This fic is incredibly personal to me. I've not lost a husband or a boyfriend (apart from a typical breakup) but over the recent years I've lost several family members so grief is close to me. I hope you enjoy chapter two - if you like it then comments, reblogs and asks are always helpful - thanks as always for your support of my writing.

Main Masterlist / Series Masterlist

The sun is only starting to colour the sky when you wake that morning. It’s already warm in your bedroom, sheets pushed to one side and that’s when you realise why you’ve woken. Leg draped over the mound of sheets, hand resting on the empty side of the bed, head rested on the pillow that isn’t yours. Because it feels like him. You roll over onto your back and drape your arm over your eyes, letting the pressure bring you back to the real world. 

Once you were sure your breathing was somewhere close to normal, you push yourself off the bed and pad down the hallway to the bathroom. You turn on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up before you step under the spray. There’s something about this routine that helps ground you too. Counting the steps in your mind, ticking them off the to-do list. Shampoo hair. Done. Condition ends. Done. Scrub skin. Done. Brush teeth. Done.

By the time you’re setting the coffee to filter, you’ve already made it to sunrise, and you haven’t cried. It’s not healthy, and you know it, but this little competition with yourself helps, seeing how far you can make it through the day without thoughts so deep you have to pack yourself back to bed to try again tomorrow. 

Sitting on the bench on the front porch, it’s still quiet. The only people milling about the street were the people heading out on patrol, swapping with those who were coming back. No-one paid you much mind, sitting by yourself, mug cradled in your hands, which was the way you preferred it. You sat there, watching the sky changing colour as the sun rose in earnest, until you could see Maria in the distance, walking towards you. You gave her a small wave, taking your mug inside before grabbing what you needed. Ration cards. Yes. Keys. Yes. Shopping bag. Yes. 

“Good morning, honey.” She greets, kiss pressed to your cheek and arms pulling you into a hug. 

You wish her a good morning whilst you wrap your arms around her. She’d been your strength this past year. Never pushing you more than she thought you could take, always there when you needed her shoulder to cry on. She’d fed you for the first few months when you couldn’t bear to cook yourself. She truly was the best friend you’d ever had. 

You fell into a comfortable silence as you made your way to the market hall. At one point, you wouldn’t have let go of Maria’s arm, but now, you were happy to walk alongside her, hands shoved into the pockets of your jeans. They were small steps, but steps in the right direction none-the-less. 

Halfway to the market hall, you could see Joel walking towards you from the other direction. Gun slung over his shoulder, he looks as though he’s just coming back from patrol. 

“Good mornin’, ladies,” He greets, “Going anywhere nice?” 

“Just to the market,” Maria replies, “Good patrol?” 

“Uneventful, so I guess you could say so,” He turns to you now, “I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to come by and sort that table out for you, I’m off tomorrow, how about I swing by then?” 

You smile and nod, “Of course, whenever is good for you.” 

He bids you both goodbye, he’d been up all night patrolling the walls and was ready to collapse, and when you began walking again, you could feel Maria’s eyes on you and the slight smirk on her mouth. It wasn’t until you were picking up a bowl of tomatoes that she decided to press the subject. 

“Joel making himself at home then?” 

“He just fixed one of my steps is all,” You replied, refusing to meet her eyes, “And then I asked him to build the table and chairs I wanted, and he agreed.” 

She pursed her lips and nodded, but the smirk was still across her lips, “I know what you’re thinking!” You exclaim, moving to walk down the aisle from her, she jogs to catch up, “It’s nothing Maria, and it’s shameful of you to suggest otherwise, it’s barely been a year.” 

“I’m sorry,” She speaks softly, taking hold of your arm, “That was wrong of me, what I really meant was that it’s nice that you’re getting back out there, making friends, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.” 

“No, I’m sorry for snapping,” You sigh, raking a hand through your hair. 

Maria presses a hand to your shoulder in comfort, “Let’s finish up here and get you home.” 

You nod and spend the rest of your time in the market in silence. You pick up more fresh strawberries, along with the rest of your essentials. Maria helps you drop everything in your kitchen when you return and gives you another strong hug, “I’m sorry honey, about earlier, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was assuming anything.” 

“It’s honestly fine Maria,” You reassured, putting the flour and honey you’d bought in one of your cupboards, “I’m trying,” You sighed, “Just trying to get back to living, and he was nice to me, I’m not interested in anything else but it sure would be nice to have another friend.” 

She nods in understanding, “You know, for the longest time I hated him,” She speaks quietly, “When I met Tommy, the stories he told me, the things they’d both done to get to where they were, I thought he was a terrible person, but the more time I’ve spent with him, I know deep down he has a good heart, I think he might be good for you,” She says, “As a friend, of course.” She adds finally. 

She leaves you then and suddenly it feels empty in your home. It always does. There is no sound of warm laughter, no sound of another pair of boots on the wooden floor. It’s the quiet that really tightens your chest these days. You look to the stairs; it would be so easy to climb them and collapse into bed right now. Ignore your feelings for a while. Maybe fall into a dreamless sleep and just try again tomorrow. Your feet are almost carrying you before you stop yourself. Not today, you think. It’s not going to get the better of you today. Your eyes fall to the fresh box of strawberries on your counter and you’re moving before you realise what you’re doing. 

An hour later, there’s a fresh strawberry pie cooling on the side. It was a frivolous use of your flour and butter ration, but the smell of the pastry reminds you of your mother. She always had some kind of fresh pie cooling on the side when you came home from school. Always served it with ice cream after dinner. Mark was always pragmatic with rations; he would have never let you use your feeble allowance on such a thing. You’d always used the flour for bread, butter was saved for making sandwiches, or spreading on the last slices on the weekend when you toasted it as a treat. 

Looking at the pie, you know you should feel silly, but you don’t. You feel proud of yourself. You can almost hear Mark’s voice in your head, he’d call you a silly girl, but he wouldn’t mean it. He’d chastise you for wasting your resources, but with a smile on his face. And then he would gladly take the slice you offered him. He’d kiss you with sugary lips and wipe the flour from your cheeks. Doing something he wouldn’t approve of was good, surely? Moving on, in a tiny step, to making your own life. 

There’s a feeling of guilt beneath you though, looking at the pie. You can’t bring yourself to cut a slice. Can’t bring yourself to feel the joy of the fruit in your mouth. How silly to think that one simple thing could fix you. You shake your head and leave it cooling on the side, curling into the couch, reading the same page of the same book you’ve had on the coffee table for months. 

*

Joel knocks on your door at 11am the next morning. He’s alone again, toolbox in hand, letting you know that he’s given Ellie to Maria and Tommy for the day, something about teaching her to ride horses. You lead him through the house and out back, leaving him to set himself up for the day. 

You make two cups of coffee, remembering he likes his black. You add a splash of milk to yours. The milk is so fresh from the cows on the farm that you must scoop a layer of cream off the top. You would normally scoop it off and eat it straight from the spoon, but there’s too much today, so you scoop it into a small glass, taking the mugs to the back porch where Joel is measuring up the wood. You set his mug down on the porch railing, taking your own in your hands as you sit down on the floor, back against the wall just to the left of the back door. 

The sun is shining again, warming your arms. You lean your head back and close your eyes, taking in slow, deep breaths. 

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me, are you?” 

You open your eyes and look at him without moving your head, “Depends how exciting your conversation is going to be today.” You tease. 

He smiles and turns his attention back to sawing a piece of wood to size, “What did you do before all this?” 

You scoff a little, “I was about to start my second year at college, seems like a huge waste of fucking time now, the inheritance money wasted on half a degree.” 

“Well, that money would still be pretty useless now anyway,” He shrugs, “What did you study?” 

You have to hand it to him, he’s not wrong, “Drama,” You laugh, “Thought I was going to be a big star, already had that Oscars acceptance speech written up here.” You tap one of your temples. 

“Who were you going to thank?” 

“My parents mainly, although they were already both gone by the time I’d started studying, all the usuals, my agent, the academy, everyone who ever told me I couldn’t do it.” 

He chuckles, “You definitely had it all figured out.” 

A comfortable silence falls between you as you finish up your coffee. The wood of the decking is hard on your back and you shift uncomfortably, moaning a little in pain when you sit further to one side than the other, your lower back aching slightly, “You know you don’t have to sit out here with me if it’s uncomfortable right?” 

“I know,” You respond simply, “It’s just nice to have company.” 

“You don’t have other friends here?” He asks, hammering some nails into a piece of wood. 

You shake your head, “I guess I did when we first came here, but Mark was always the more likeable of us, people gravitated towards him and I guess when you spend a year wallowing in your own self-pity, people get pretty tired of telling you the same things over and over again in the hopes you’ll snap out of it.” 

He nods, “When I lost Sarah, I remember the overwhelming feeling of pointlessness,” He’s not looking at you as he’s speaking, focusing his attention on what you think is becoming a chair, “She’d been my whole life for so long that I just didn’t know what the point was without here, especially in this new world,” You hum in agreement, “And the fact that the healing is never linear, you know?” You hum again, “It’s been twenty years and I still have days where it’s overwhelming, but they become few and far between – I’ll never forget her, but remembering her gets easier, and I bet it will for you as well.” 

You lean your head back against the siding of your house, “You sound just like my therapist,” You point out, “She keeps telling me that I need to find something new to keep living for, but how do I do that was he was the only family I ever really had?” 

Joel stops for a moment, picking up his mug of coffee to drain it, “Family is a strange old thing,” He finally speaks, “Sure, Tommy is my brother, but Maria? Ellie? I found them; you’ve just got to find your new family.” 

“You’re a very wise man, Joel Miller.” 

“I think I’ve just lived a longer life, sweet pea.” 

The rest of the day continues in much the same way. Snippets of conversation, moments of silence, at one point you get up to water the plants as the midday sun makes way for the dip in temperature for the early afternoon. Joel is a fast but competent worker and as the sun is beginning to set, you have four new chairs dotted around the decking. 

“You wanna test them out?” He asked, dropping the last of his tools into the box. 

You nod, walking the one that’s closest to you, before gingerly setting yourself down on it as if it might collapse under you, “Come on, I’m a professional, have some faith in me.” Joel murmurs as he watches you slowly lower yourself onto it. 

He’s right, it doesn’t collapse. The way he’s built them mean there’s a slight slant to the backrest, meaning you can lean your head back and fully relax when you sit. You can’t deny that he’s done a fantastic job. 

“These are great Joel, thank you,” You say, standing back up, “Sit down, I’ve got something to say thank you.” 

You disappear into the kitchen as Joel lowers himself onto one of the chairs. He can’t deny he’s done a good job either, maybe he’ll have to make something similar for him and Ellie. He’s already trying to figure out where he might find the wood for his own project when you’re back on the decking with two plates in your hand. 

“Is that pie?” He asks as you hand him a plate. 

“It is indeed,” You confirm, sitting in the chair next to him with your own plate, “I made it yesterday in an attempt to avoid going to bed at 12pm, you’re lucky that there was cream on the milk too.” You smile, pointing a finger to the sliver of cream you’d divided onto each slice. 

“I can’t remember the last time I had anything like this,” He muses, sliding his fork through the end of his slice before eating it, “Jesus Christ, that’s good.” 

You chuckle, doing the same to your slice. You had to admit it was pretty good for a rudimentary baking job, the fruit was sweet and you’d managed to make the pastry pretty well too, “I actually can’t remember the last time I had anything like this either,” You take another bite, “I was thinking yesterday as I was making it that Mark would have been cross that I’d used our butter and flour ration to make pastry.” 

“I bet once he tried it though he would have forgiven you,” Joel replies, “No-one can be mad for long when it tastes this good.” 

You smile to yourself and spend the rest of the time it takes to eat in silence. You sit for a while before Joel’s hand comes into view, he gently takes the plate from your hand and stands, “I better go and get Ellie, she’s probably driving Tommy and Maria up the wall with questions,” He chuckles, “Let me wash these first though.” 

You follow him through to the kitchen and cut another slice of pie whilst he rinses the dishes, “Take this for Ellie,” You implore as he’s stood in your kitchen with his toolbox about to leave, “I bet she’s never had something like this.” 

He takes the plate gratefully in his other hand, “Listen, I don’t want to step over a line, but I was wonderin’ if you maybe wanted to join me for a drink sometime?”

Almost immediately there’s a sense of panic rising in your throat as you imagine what he’s asking for in your mind. If he’s asking you to The Tipsy Bison, you can already feel the eyes boring into you and the whispers from everyone else. If he’s asking you to go to his place for a drink does that mean he’s asking you on a date? You wring your hands together in front of you and you can tell he can sense your internal battle. 

“Just as a friend,” He reassures, “I hope you don’t mind but Tommy told me you don’t really like goin’ anywhere anymore, and well, I just don’t think it’s right, for you to feel like you have to stay here all the time, I promise I won’t let anythin’ bad happen to you, sweet pea.” 

You think back to the conversation with your therapist from last week. She’d ask you what you’d done to challenge yourself recently and you had nothing to offer her. She’s suggested that you really did need to try to start ‘reintegrating’ yourself back into the community, or there would come a time where you simply couldn’t. She’d challenged you to try going to the market on your own one day without Maria, or to go for a walk through the town on your own, just one thing before you met her next that would push you out of your comfort zone and make you realise that you could do it. 

“Okay,” You agree, “But if something bad does happen, you’re taking the blame, alright?” 

“If I had a free hand, I would cross my heart,” He smiles, “How about tomorrow night?” 

Tomorrow night. Not quite enough time to convince yourself it was a bad idea and hide yourself away. The sooner you went, the sooner it would be over, so you nod in agreement. Joel arranges to drop by at six and pick you up and then he was gone, and your house yet again felt as empty as always. It was getting dark outside, an acceptable time to call it a night and crawl into bed.  

PREV / NEXT

[felixsramen]

Yours Truly

This is part 9 of my Skz poly fic. I hope you guys know how much the sweet comments you leave mean to me. I'm going to release part 10 either tomorrow or soon because I left it on a weird note only because it felt like I made it long.

Previous<<<<< Next>>>>>

You had waken up laying in your bed. You don't remember getting there but you assumed Changbin probably put you in it. You look at the time. 11:32am. Normally you would've been alarmed by the time and scrambled to get dress but instead you realize that today you were off work due to reconstruction on the new floor being built. You'd probably be off work for a week though considering they want to finish building the new floor.

You do however wonder where Jisung and Changbin had gone off to. Maybe Jisung wasn't right about not just wanting to fuck you. You had gotten in your feelings at this point but went to the kitchen knowing you needed to eat something.

You run a hand through your messy hair. You want to cry at this point. Yet on the refrigerator you see a note.

'There was an emergency at work. We didn't want to leave you. Ji told me everything you had told him. I hope you know we do care about you probably more than you'll ever know. Meet us at the park downtown at 7? We hope you show up. It's a date btw.' Below it read Changbin.

You had made up your mind already. You were going to show up even though there was that little voice in your mind that kept telling you it was too good to be true. You shut off that part of your mind instead deciding to grab the milk from your fridge and grab cereal from one of your cabinets.

When you had finished eating that's when the nerves got to you. You were nervous about it. Nervous that you'd mess it up. Nervous that the date would be awkward. But deep down you knew that neither would happen considering you had breakfast with 8 guys which 2 of you had slept with a week earlier and they talked as if you were a friend.

Not only that you had sucked Felix off on his birthday and then the next morning had breakfast again with the 8 and had gotten teased for it as if you were a friend.

The one thing that had gotten you was friend. They saw you as a friend at that point. Now you were going as a date.

You had thought about this all day even as you finished some of the papers for work. It had turned 6:10 without you realizing and you start panicking. You hurry through your closet searching for anything that would go with your date.

Finally after throwing half your closet on the ground you find clothes and hurry to the bathroom changing as quick as you can.

You check your phone. It reads 6:30. You were glad the park downtown was only 20 minutes away.

You were surprised you hadn't slipped on your clothes on the way out. You knew that's what you'd be doing when you got home.

You grabbed your phone and got into your car. Heading to downtown.

You finally pull up at 6:52. You see all of them walking and laughing. No one else around. You figured it'd be like that considering no one comes to the park this late.

Seungmin is the one who noticed you coming up to you first. "We thought you weren't coming for a second." He says and you shake your head.

"Definitely not. I kinda got wrapped up in some work and before I knew it it was already 6:10." You say explaining and Seungmin smiles nodding.

"Well come on. Don't just stand there. We're out here for a walk." Seungmin says grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards the members.

"Look who I found." Seungmin says and all the boys attention comes to you.

"Hi Y/N!" Jeongin says while on Minhos back waving at you.

"Hi." You say waving back.

"Glad you made it." Chan says dimples showing as he smiles.

"I thought you were going to leave us here all by ourselves." Jisung says pretending to pout.

Felix hits him on the back of the head. "Quit being weird." Felix says and you laugh. Felix smiles at you.

"I'll show you weird!" Jisung says wrestling Felix to the ground.

"Can the two of you act like you have some kind of common sense." Hyunjin says rolling his eyes and that's before Felix and Jisung both tackle Hyunjin to the ground.

The boys laugh and you laugh along as Jisung and Felix gang up on Hyunjin tickling him.

"That's not why we're here though. So come on let's get up. We're supposed to be on a nice walk for our date." Changbin says reminding the boys who laugh as they pull away from Hyunjin and stand up with the help of Changbin.

"I hate you guys." Hyunjin says and the boys laugh.

"We love you too Jinnie." Felix replies and kisses Hyunjin.

Felix pulls away and you can see the faint blush from Hyunjin. "Yeah yeah. Whatever." Hyunjin says as Felix intertwines his hand with Hyunjins. Jisung intertwines Hyunjins other hand with his.

As you guys start walking and talking you end up beside Minho carrying Jeongin.

"Do you like it?" Minho asks you.

"Like what? Going for a walk?" You ask him back and he nods.

"I like it. I've never been on a walk as a first date." You say thinking about all the first dates you'd been on.

"Are you enjoying it?" I.N. asks and you nod.

"I think it's a good first date. I've been on many bad first dates. This is probably my favorite first date." You tell them.

They both nod. "What's your worst first date?" Minho asks you and you have to think through all the bad first dates you had been on.

"Probably the one where the dude I was talking to showed up with a wedding ring on his finger. He was divorced but he liked keeping his wedding ring on in hopes his ex wife would come back to him. Then he cried in front of me while telling me about how much he missed his ex wife" You say remembering it rather clearly.

You can see Minho and I.N. cringe at the thought. "Have either of you had as bad as of first dates?" You ask and I.N. shakes his head. Minho nods though.

"One guy that had asked me out on a date showed up terribly dressed. Not only terribly dressed all he did was talk about his mom. How much he loved her and how much he cares for her. I left that date fast and deleted his number. I'm not into mamas boys." Minho says and I.N. laughs. You can't help but laugh at his last sentence.

"Well I'm glad I'm not the only one." You say smiling.

"Do you guys mind if I asked how you all got together?" You ask them.

"Well it's kinda complicated." Minho says.

Chan looks over to you guys now listening to you and his boyfriends conversations.

"We first met through our work." Minho says not sure where to start.

Minho looks to Chan who sees Minho struggling on where to even start. "Like he said we met through work. Our company. I had been there for a while." He says remembering it.

"Then later came the others first Ji then Innie followed by Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin and lastly Minho." Chan says.

"We clicked instantly." Chan says and you nod understanding that.

"Minho and Jisung had gotten together first though." Chan says and Minho nods remembering first being in a relationship with just Jisung.

"Then came Changbin and Felix." Chan says and you look over to Felix and Changbin who are currently talking.

"Then it was me and Seungmin." I.N. says and Seungmin nods.

"Then you and Hyunjin?" You ask Chan. He chuckles but he shakes his head.

"Surprisingly no. Hyunjin had shown interest in Minho and Jisung." Chan says and Hyunjin looks in his direction but goes back to talking with Jisung.

"So you were left alone?" You ask him and he shakes his head again smiling.

"Changbin came to me saying his boyfriend took an interest in me." Chan says remembering how awkward it was when Changbin told him.

"Then not too long after that Felix came up to me surprising me. He asked me on a date." Chan says.

"At first I was against the idea. But what did I have to lose? So I showed up for it." Chan says shrugging.

"And he loved it." Changbin says kissing Chans cheek.

Chan smiles at his boyfriends sweet gesture. "Of course I did. Then after the first date we went on more. Eventually they had asked me to be their boyfriend. I was really into them so I agreed." Chan says.

"Me, Felix, and Bin all were always around each other though. They knew about Felix and Bin but didn't know about me. They just thought I was a close friend." Chan says shrugging.

"That's when one day Jisung, Minho, and Hyunjin asked me to go drinking with them. I agreed. I had let Felix and Bin know that I'd be home late. That night ended with Jisung drunkenly kissing me. I kissed him back. Once I realized what I had done I felt terrible. Hyunjin and Minho just watched not doing anything. I immediately went home to Felix and Bin." Chan says sighing at the memory.

"I was scared. Terrified that they'd break up with me. Felix and Bin stayed up waiting for me and I came in distraught. They were concerned for me and I broke down in front of them. I told them about Jisung kissing me. They didn't freak out or get mad. I was confused you know. Felix asked me if I liked Jisung. At that time I didn't know. Changbin then asked if I still loved them and of course I did. That's why I felt so bad so I told them I love them more than anything. Felix and Changbin reassured me it was fine then." Chan says looking at the boys who are now invested in the story.

"The next morning Felix and Bin told me they'd love me no matter who I'd love as long as I loved them. That was my reassurance. When we had gone to work Jisung barely looked in my direction obviously embarrassed about what he did the night before. It was Jisung though who had came up to me asking me out to dinner with him and his boyfriends. I looked over at Felix and Bin and they met me with smiles so I said yes. That night Hyunjin, Minho, and Jisung had all shown up. Of course during the night I had let them know I had boyfriends. They all seemed disappointed but I told them that it was Bin and Lix who encouraged me to come on the date." Chan says.

"We were very disappointed." Jisung adds.

"Can he finish the story?" Seungmin asks his older boyfriend and Jisung nods pouting. Seungmin kisses his lips. Jisung stops pouting and smiles at his boyfriend. It was always such a cute sight to see.

Taglist: @queenmea604 @lolareadsimagines @tinyworld18 @liv302 @jinniespuppy @stephy-nicole13 @haikyuuisposts @freyaniobe @chansbabygirlsstuff @jkookiejiminlvr @hyuneyeon @aerisho @sirenthalia @nagadiluc @tenshimara @leeknowleeknow @boi-bi-ahaha @shltsnglggles @jfkedldndkd @tinystarsthing @armystay89 @baby-fairy-yas @haileybugulug

[luis-serra-kennedy]

okay bear in mind my co writer for this has been a strong painkiller it's raw a little rough around the edges yknow but it's Serrennedy being terminally stupid and Leon crying a lot and Luis's grandfather yelling at him for being a slut and awake but sweet family time (also pregnancy tests taking 2 hours for results is historically accurate, this AU is set a few years before the quicker/easier ones were a thing)

“Go away, Luis!” Leon barks when Luis knocks on the bedroom door. “I'm done trying to eat your shitty cooking and I'd rather die in this goddamn bed than let you drag me to a hospital. Fuck Spain. Again.”

“I'm not trying to make you eat or go to the hospital anymore, I promise. I have a surprise for you. If I can come in?”

“Fine. Whatever. It's your house.”

“I'm hoping something more familiar might stay down better than what I've been trying to feed you?” Leon sits up and accepts the bag of food, McDonald's, as a peace offering, with a small smile. Luis just stands by the bed awkwardly while Leon starts eating. “Can I sit? Or do you still need space? I think we need to talk about something, if you're not feeling too horrible right now.”

“Yeah, you can sit,” Luis sits on the bed next to Leon, but still keeps a little bit of distance between them. “I know why you want to talk.”

“Oh. You do? That makes this easier.”

“Yeah. You want to break up because I suck at being a boyfriend. Dead bedroom for weeks because I haven't been in the mood. You take me to Spain with all these grand plans. I get sick and fuck it all up. Your grandpa's so important to you and I know you thought he'd like me, but he doesn't. He hates me because I'm just hiding in here instead of even trying to spend time with him.”

“Don't be stupid. He doesn't hate you,” Something about Luis's demeanor is just a little bit different from when he left, but Leon can't quite figure out what it is. “And I'm definitely not going to dump you. I'd marry you tomorrow, if it weren't for the headache the tabloids would make of it.”

When Leon finishes up his food, he scoots over and starts ramming his head against Luis's shoulder. Luis wasn't willing to make the first move and touch Leon, afraid it might piss him off again. But with Leon taking initiative with the ramming, Luis finally feels comfortable wrapping an arm around Leon's back and kissing the top of his head.

Luis smells so fucking good. He must have bought a new cologne or something. He's never smelled bad, aside from after smoking, but he's never smelled so good that he wants to sit and huff his clothes for hours. Suddenly Leon is crying, just because the smell is way too good. No, there is no way he's crying over that, there has to be something else. Maybe he's still worried he's going to get dumped, because he doesn't understand how Luis is being so nice to him when he's spent the past two days screaming at Luis to fuck off and saying he hates Spain. He should be getting yelled at right now, not getting a gentle arm around him and the top of his head kissed.

“Are you sure you don't want to break up with me?”

“I'm sure. I promise. And don't you dare try and say you're sorry for how you've been acting. I… Uh, I think it actually may be my fault…”

“Shut up. You tried. When I threw up a couple days before we left, you were the one trying to talk me out of going, and I said it felt like some random freak thing and I'd be fine. Really thought it was. You had no idea the travel would make me sicker and bitchier.”

“I'm not sure this is actually about the travel… I didn't go out just to get you food. I, ah, I was talking to my grandfather and he made what he thought was a joke about you, but it really wasn't a joke like he thought.”

“He made a joke about me? You said he didn't hate-”

“Don't cry, mi amor. He doesn't hate you. What he said, along the lines of it seeming like he would be a great grandfather if I had brought a girlfriend home instead, because your moods and nausea were reminding him of when my mother was pregnant with me. Suddenly I felt like an idiot, because the boyfriend I brought home could have been pregnant. I got you pregnant,” If the words were coming from anyone other than Luis, they'd just send a wave of dread through Leon. But it's Luis... “I mean, I think I did. I'm not certain, but I bought some tests for you to take. But I'm pretty sure.”

“Okay.” Leon says, still processing things, not sure what else to say.

“Okay? I thought you'd be freaking out a little more. Or maybe that's just because I'm freaking out and projecting on you. Or maybe… you are freaking out on the inside and just hiding it, you are the strong, silent type, aren't you? No matter, just go take the tests, no point worrying until we know for sure.”

“Just shut up and give me the fucking tests! These stupid things are like two hours, I need to get this show on the road.”

Leon doesn't exit the bathroom immediately after getting the kits set up. He gives himself a minute to be emotional and shed a few tears. And question why the fuck he desperately wants these pregnancy tests to be positive. It has to be because it'll make things make sense. He's not dying, just pregnant. Yeah, that's it. He just wants the simple, straightforward explanation for all his symptoms.

Luis is waiting for him right outside the door when he finally leaves.

“You got the tests set up okay?”

“Yeah! I'm not an idiot, I can follow basic fucking directions. Not even the first time I've used one of these. I'm gonna go lay down. Alone.”

“Okay. Do you want me to come let you know when the tests are ready?” Leon nods. “If you need anything sooner, just yell and I'll come.”

All of Leon's energy disappears when his head hits the pillow. Those tests better be positive, because if he isn't pregnant, he's probably dying or something. He's never felt this exhausted. Even with his head spinning with anxiety, he falls asleep quickly. He's out cold until some knocks on the door wake him up and he shouts that Luis can come in.

“So the tests are done?”

“Yes,” Luis is back to being incredibly cautious, so he walks into the room but doesn't sit down or try to touch Leon. “I think this is good news. You're not sick, you're not being a shitty boyfriend, you're just,” Luis has to pause because he's getting choked up. “Carrying my baby, mi amor. We're having a baby.”

“No we're not! Right now you're at the peak of your career. You've got so much shit you need to do, and you also deserve some time to just enjoy your success without more responsibilities piled on your plate. I'm not having your baby right now, I don't want to feel guilty about ruining your life.”

“Do you remember our first night together? Because I do, every second. I came in my pants on your motorcycle, then I gave you the best head of your life, and then, most importantly, we got high and talked. You said that my album better be a success, so that I could buy you a big house and we could start having kids soon. And I said that if you were really being serious, I'd make it happen within a year. I'd buy a house and we could start trying ASAP, sooner if the album was a hit and I got a big check, a bit later if I only had the acting money to rely on. I was being serious. You're way more important than my career, don't even think about it. I want a baby as soon as you're ready for one. If you want this now…” Luis smiles and tucks a lock of Leon's hair behind his ear and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, short but sweet. “Then this is the happiest day of my life. But if this is too soon for you, that's okay. I can be patient. I stuck it out a decade before success in music, I can stick it out a year for a baby.”

“I'm ready. Been ready since you bought the house, talking about how perfect it would be for having kids. I know you'll be a good dad, all I fucking want right now is to see you holding a baby, our baby, and looking at her life she's the only thing in the world and singing to her and…” Leon is softly crying again. “But I'm so scared this is too early and I'll never get to see that because you're just going to resent us for fucking your life up and you're not going to hold her like that and sing, you won't love her like you're supposed to.”

“Her? Her. You want a girl. Me too. If you're having a girl, she's going to be my little princess. Everything she wants. Whole wardrobe of princess clothes, cutest nursery money can buy, I'll be playing with Barbies and having tea parties everyday,” There's so much warmth in Luis's voice that Leon would have no trouble believing he meant it, if it weren't for the fact that Luis was also an actual actor too. He's still pretty sure Luis means it, just not quite certain. “Same goes for if it's a boy. I don't care what the baby's like. Girl or boy. Playing with action figures or dolls. Football or ballet. Whatever they're into, I'll be into. I'll love them the way I'm supposed to. I promise. I already do.”

“Okay,” Leon says, tears finally slowing. “We're having a baby. In… Shit, how long? You remember how long it's been since I let you top?”

“About a week shy of two months,” Luis says with no delay. Leon gives him a questioning look. “I have a very good memory when it comes to things I've done with you. To you. Things you've done to me. You. I love you.”

“You better love me. I'm giving birth to your kid in seven months. Christ. This is real. You should go tell him he'll be a great grandpa.”

“Leon, are you sure?”

“Uh, if you think he'll take it well. I know it's a lot to drop on him. First you bring home a boyfriend to meet him and he thinks he's never getting great grandkids, now he's learning that somehow you've got a pregnant boyfriend. You can ease him into it instead of telling him now. Or just never tell him. Say I'm really just sick, in seven months call him and say we had a kid from a surrogate. I don't want to fuck up your relationship with him.”

“Lying to him would fuck things up far more than the truth. He'll take it fine. Probably better than he took it when I turned 18 and told him I was moving to France to be a musician instead of applying to med school! But seriously, please don't worry. He's not going to hate you because of this, he's not like that. I promise it will go fine.”

Leon is curled up in a ball sobbing and hyperventilating when Luis comes back to the bedroom, because it did not go fine. Leon doesn't know how bad, but he knows it was bad. All he could hear was a lot of very angry sounding Spanish from the other side of the door. Luis's arms are around him almost superhumanly fast.

“Shh, you're okay, you're safe. I'm here. Everything is okay. Can you talk to me?”

“I just hate yelling,” Leon wraps his arms around Luis and squeezes tight, nails digging into the skin of Luis's back, probably hard enough to hurt him. But the squeezing and Luis's scent are enough to ground him so he can try to breathe normally and talk. “Bad memories.”

“I'm sorry. I got yelled at, but that's okay. No one is yelling at you. No one is mad at you. Don't worry about a thing.”

“I know no one yelled at me, that's the problem. I hate other people yelling. Reminds me of when I was a kid.”

“Do you want to talk about it? Or I can just hold you, or distract you, or-”

“My parents. Bio parents. Their marriage was fucked. They screamed at each other all the time. I'd hide in my closet and cover my ears but I could still hear them. Sometimes they'd throw shit at each other. They didn't yell at me. Just each other, but it was still scary. That's what I think about when I hear someone yelling. Someone yelling at you. Being a scared kid in a closet, helpless. Break up with me. I can't be the reason someone's yelling at you. Just find a girl to get pregnant so you'll have his approval.”

Leon isn't being entirely truthful. He was frequently the target of his father's anger, any time his mom got fed up and stormed out. Krauser liked yelling at him too. But Luis doesn't need to know that right now. Leon already feels too exposed just talking about his parents yelling at each other, he doesn't want to spill anything more. Luis will have to know eventually, when something else inevitably breaks him again, but not right now.

“No. No, no, no, no, no. I love you more than anything. We're having a baby together! You are not a wedge between us. He doesn't disapprove of you. He's just pissed at me for repeating one of my deadbeat father's mistakes and accidentally getting someone pregnant. Most of the yelling was just about how I better step up and take damn good care of you, and he'll never want to see my face again if I walk out on you or don't treat you well enough. He is happy too, excited that he will be a great grandfather. Just disappointed in me because he raised me to be more careful and plan before starting a family, not to make a stupid mistake like accidentally getting someone I hadn't even been dating long pregnant.”

“It's not your fault. I told you not to worry about pregnancy, you were only careless because I told you to be.”

“I should have realized sooner. For weeks you've seemed… Different. Eating more, taking naps, and your whole demeanor has just seemed off. I noticed all these things, why didn't I realize what it all meant? I'm so damn stupid. If I had just put the pieces together sooner, you would be home right now.”

“I noticed too. I just pretended none of it was real and tried to power through it because I assumed I was getting sick and couldn't handle that and hoped if I kept my head in the sand I'd magically feel better. Pregnancy wasn't on my radar, I mean I really thought those damn pills would work-” Leon suddenly stops talking and pulls away from Luis. “Fuck.”

Luis knows what's happening immediately, but even with lightning fast reflexes, he can't grab the bowl on the nightstand fast enough and Leon starts vomiting directly onto the bed. It's fucking humiliating, but once he starts, he can't stop.

“You're okay, mi amor, you're okay,” Luis whispers. He holds his hair back and rubs soothing circles on his back. While Leon violently sobs and throws up. “Just get everything out, don't worry, you're okay.”

“Sorry,” Leon chokes out, when he's finally done puking up all his stomach contents. “I'm so nasty.”

“Don't be sorry,” Luis says to the still clammy and trembling Leon. “You're shaking like a leaf, corazon. You feel like you can stand..?”

“With help.”

“Then come on! I think you'll feel a little better after getting cleaned up.”

“Is he still out there? I'm not going to do a walk of shame past him. I'm already embarrassed enough.”

“I'll go ask him to step out for a bit, he'll understand.”

Leon doesn't like someone being told not to go somewhere in their own damn home for him, and he doesn't like the thought of needing help just to walk to the bathroom. But he knows Luis isn't backing down, so he doesn't object when Luis goes out to talk to his grandfather, nor does he when Luis comes back and helps him to his feet. He clings to Luis, because he is shaky and needs to stabilize himself somehow. He could probably make it on his own if he stayed seated for a few minutes, but Luis wasn't going to accept anything less than Leon immediately showering.

Luis guides Leon's body down onto the toilet and turns the shower water on to start warming up. “I'll be right back, I'm just going to go get you clean clothes. Don't get up by yourself.”

Not wanting an ER trip resulting from him losing his balance or slipping in the shower, Leon listens and stays seated. He's facing the sink, where there's still several positive pregnancy tests resting. He'd believed Luis when he said they were all positive, but actually seeing them for himself stirred up something in him. Worried it'll get him overemotional and crying again, he forces his eyes away from the sink and starts getting undressed.

That's a mistake, because looking down at his body also makes him emotional. It's changed so much in so little time. Luis had affected it even before pregnancy; the new relationship caused him to be a lot less disciplined about his fitness, often skipping workouts in favor of spending time with his new boyfriend. So his abs were already fading when he got pregnant. Whatever's left of them is gone, hidden underneath the bloating… His chest looks a little bigger too. And his hips and thighs are definitely bigger, though he already knew that because he'd been trying to pretend that his jeans weren't feeling tighter than usual for the past few weeks.

Finally Luis returns to rescue him from his own thoughts. [insert the gay ass monologue abt Luis's body I'm struggling to write]

Even though Leon is feeling more stable and not worried about falling, Luis still insists on getting in the shower with him and hovering, just in case. When they're done, Leon ignores the clean shirt set out for him and instead grabs Luis's dirty shirt off the floor.

“You smell so good today,” Leon says when they're done, ignoring the clean shirt sitting out for him and instead picking up Luis's dirty shirt off the floor and putting it on. “Some weird hormone bullshit.”

“That's flattering. Hey, can I try something? Carry you?”

“You better not drop me!”

Leon is more afraid of being picked up and carried than he's willing to admit. The last time a man picked him up… Krauser always just picked him up with no warning and threw him over his shoulder with no warning, like he was a sack of grain. Then he'd slam him down on some surface, deliberately making it as painful for Leon as possible.

Luis isn't as strong as Krauser or Leon (at least not as strong as Leon at his peak fitness) but he's in good shape, it's a part of the whole famous hot guy thing, and doesn't struggle to lift Leon. He cradles Leon gently, holding him bridal style, and walks from the bathroom to the couch painstakingly slowly.

“Stay here a minute, baby,” Luis says, lowering Leon down onto the couch. “I need to go get clean sheets and blankets on the bed before you go lay down again.”

“Wait,” Leon grabs Luis's wrist before he turns around to walk away. “I think I want to stay out here? Watch a movie or something. Your grandpa can come out here too. I know it's not the kind of thing that you planned for all of-”

“No, no, it's a perfect idea! Do you need anything? More pillows? Blanket? Whatever you need, I'll get it.”

“I'm fine, just need you.”

“I'm getting you a snack and a drink in case you change your mind,” Luis grabs the TV remote and tosses it to Leon. “You pick what we watch.”

Leon flips through some channels absent-mindedly, not really caring what they watch. When Luis comes back and sits down, Leon gets comfortable. He sprawls out on the couch, laying on his side, resting his head in Luis's lap. Luis alternates between petting Leon's hair and his stomach. Eventually they're joined by Luis's grandfather, who takes a seat in the armchair and starts talking. Leon regrets not going back to bed; he feels so awkward because his introduction to the man ended with Luis ushering him off to the bathroom to throw up before he said a word, and now he's talking and Leon can't understand a word. He was so stupid to think he'd be accepted by Luis's grandfather and feel like he belongs here, he doesn't know how to be a part of a normal family. Even if Luis's grandfather spoke English or he spoke Spanish, Leon would be floundering right now. He just looks up to Luis helplessly.

“He says that he's really happy you're sitting out here with us, because he wants to get to know the man who made all his grandson's dreams come true, who also happens to be the man currently carrying his first great grandchild. You don't need to do anything to earn his approval, you already have it,” Luis translates as Leon starts tearing up and tries hiding his face on Luis's leg, and his grandfather keeps talking. “He also says you shouldn't be embarrassed about crying. Or falling asleep, or getting sick. You know he was around my grandmother when she was pregnant with my mother, and around my mother when she was pregnant with me. He's seen all this before, that's how he figured this out before we did. He- No, we. We both just want to make sure you're taken care of and feeling as good as possible, we don't care that I had to change some plans.”

[nilikhangdiwa]

2024 Fic Wrap Up!

it's that time of the year again! the 2022 one can be found here and the 2023 one can be found here!

this year's stats... it's only MOSTLY a3 instead of completely entirely a3!! woah amazing!! that's on me getting into persona this year

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1.

when tomorrow comes knocking at our door

sakyoguy, canon compliant

mmm... old man yaoi... even better, DOMESTIC old man yaoi... this one was a secret santa present for vini who requested old man yaoi! nomadic bartender came out a little bit before so you can see that i was mentally ill and crazy. btw if you haven't read nomadic bartender, HIGHLY RECOMMEND. it's one of my favorite a3 events ever ever ever!!!!!

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2.

seasons change but people don't

samlil, post-good end

i. think this was a comm. i don't know. all the samlil i ever write is for quill whether explicitly or otherwise. this follows the end of the good ending where they both are able to leave the casino and live together out in the real world... oughhhfhsjkh i feel so majorly ILL about samlil all the time even when i'm not talking about them!!

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3.

run for roses

lone wolves week 2024

this was my entry for this year's lone wolves week! i was only able to get 2 chapters in because i was really busy with junior thesis around this time and i had to finish writing something else for an exchange (see number 5). nevertheless, it was super fun!

on chapter 1... the first one was because the chikage gekka ssr backstage made me SICK. like. if you haven't read it. please do. i'll like the translation here. it drives me SO MAD. like the ring is so important to chikage and losing it would make him spiral SO BAD. also after i posted this my friend was like AHA I FUCKING KNEW IT SOMEONE WAS GONNA WRITE ABOUT THE RING like OKAYYY JUST BECAUSE I'M PREDICTABLE OKAY!!!

chapter 2... i like little catholic boy hisoka. that's the entire thing basically. i have no words i just think they're really really neat. :((

also i got really obsessed with run for roses by nmixx, hence the title. it's just such a banger okay!

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4.

banri settsu's no-good, very-awful first day of school

banri & kazunari, humor

okay this was super silly and self-indulgent for the FUNNIEST reason. basically, my friend is going to (university) to study animation. our mutual friend graduated from that same university and course. we were like IT'D BE SOOO FUNNY IF (mutual friend) ENDED UP BEING YOUR TEACHER and that's how this was born.

what's funnier is that the friend in question? yeah, their sister was one of my thesis advisers. i walked into class and went "................. oomf, is your sister's name (redacted) by any chance....................... dawg i think she's my prof." so, that was a time! (i got an A. thanks oomf's sister)

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5.

(all i want is) Your Grace

madomasu, fantasy au, meet cutes, 5+1

this was written for a little server exchange! i was spinning it around which is why i wasn't able to finish run for roses lmao.

actually, i ended up worldbuilding a lot for this fantasy world, although most of it doesn't end up in the fic itself. the way magic works in the fantasy universe is kind of how language itself works... conveying a meaning and conveying power to make it do stuff. so different people do magic differently! like tsuzuru has script but citron does it moreso via music, etc.

in this one, citron was originally from inverno (winter kingdom) but ran away to live in vesna with itaru. i have azuma as the queen of inverno if i'm not mistaken? and then... i think azami as the future king of haust? with sakyo as his guard? or something... ermm.

then sakuya is the current king of vesna after his parents died and left him the throne at a young age... with chikage being his most trusted adviser and close confidant... and also basically being in charge tbh. he does a lot of things for selfish reasons (whatever's good for him) but he's also grown to care for sakuya so he sometimes does things for him... but he'll never admit it... august was the king's guard and then chikage was the knight's commander... something something very trusted. i'm sick. i love this au.

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6.

Verdant

chikaita, tojomachi, harugaoka quartet

this just in: the harugaoka quartet liker likes the tojo backstage. so i read the backstage and it's SICK. it's TWISTED. it's ILL. they were not just schoolmates. they were LONELY. but they were LONELY TOGETHER.

here's a scuffed tl of the play part in case you're interested because it genuinely makes me so insane. names carrying meanings and wishes for your children... this is JUST LIKE GEKKAGUMI. ANYWAY.

god they're so in love. this made me SICK. i'm SICK.

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7.

Tritanopia

bansaku, royalty au, soulmate au

this was a little exchange with raina! i wrote her this, she wrote me kazuchika in exchange. hehe. :3 i love royalty aus and i love soulmate aus (this will be apparent).

i like soulmate aus but i also like thinking about how they would work/be regulated if they were considered to be a part of daily life. normal occurrence. everyone has a soulmate it came free with your living in this universe.

this one is the "when you first meet your soulmate then you see color" au. which is fun to think about because like if you've never seen color how do you conceptualize it. when you see color for the first time everything is just different...

i don't know, i just like thinking about soulmate aus. there's something about it. also something something the whole soulmate thing is how banri doesn't get his ass killed. but yknow.

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8.

Ambrosia

chikamerl, chikatsuzu, kniroun week, kg adjacent

did i. okay yes i did. i did ramble about chikamerl in the 2023 wrap up so i will spare you all the horror of it. i just missed them. qkg compliant. technically a sequel to the previous chikamerl fic.

i. don't know what to say that doesn't involve just me going through the entire qkg lore so just. take it. my beloved mentally ill anime boys.

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9.

Birds of a Feather

itaru & sakuya, kniroun week, role study

the concept for this was "sakuya doing role study for mordred" but it turned out a little more chara study... ermm. it just features itaru rambling about kniroun lore while sakuya does his best!

if i may be honest this is probably my least favorite kniroun week entry because dawg i could have done so much better. i could have COOKED HARDER. but it's fine! it's perfectly lovely as is <3

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10.

Cineris

merlmord, tsuzusaku, kniroun week, playverse

i'm not normally a tzsk shipper but merlmord drives me MAD. there's just something about them.

it was super fun writing in merlin's pov because he's such a little shit. he's putting on the nice guy act but he wants to tear murder kill destroy. merlin writing so mentally ill that you would have thought i already finished p5r by this point "what does that mean" don't worry about it.

and mordred too has that... there's this balance between the guy who genuinely just wants to do good and the guy who wants to prove himself. which, of course, are not mutually exclusive, but especially younger,,, mordred is so lawful neutral, you know?

i like them. very much. also there's more made up kniroun lore in this one. i love made up kniroun lore.

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11.

When the Sky Falls

runull, tsuzumizu, kniroun week, kniroun origins, playverse

err. runull loredump here. i don't know what to say aside from just talking about why runull makes me crazy for the 27438975483rd time.

this one's in second person because it's supposed to kind of mirror the second person visual novel style of kniroun origins, and "you" don't have a name because you typically just input your own name when you're playing the game.

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12.

A Normal Day on Knights of Round Chobitter

chikaita, kniroun week, cbt oomfs to lovers

what if chikaita were mutuals on knirountwt. that's it that's the entire fic. this one was just silly and cute and itaru finding comfort and happiness in loving something and sharing that love with the world is something that can be so deeply personal thank you.

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13.

beautiful (just not today)

juza-centric, body dysmorphia, it's not transfem juza but it's not NOT transfem juza, also body horror

i'm gonna be real, i wrote this up in like an hour on a whim. this is based on the makg au which is based on that one dollhouse set featuring azuma and muku on the cg.

the fic says no context but i'm here to provide some context as a treat! the important context is that there's a gallery with wax statues, each with a nameplate on it alnd protected by a glass case. the statues are of the mankai members (and other side charas like godza, sakoda, mizuno, etc). the characters in the dollhouse event have been turned into porcelain dolls (azuma, hisoka, yuki, banri, and itaru), and the goal is for the other still-human characters to become dolls too. to be pretty and loved. so some characters (including juza) have been partially turned porcelain (dollified) in some body horror shit. the parts that have been turned porcelain on a person also become porcelain on the wax statue. doll meter.

juza has. complicated feelings about this whole thing. because it's juza. i wrote this based off rui's interpretation of juza (since she's the one writing juza in this au). but he... kind of wants to become a doll? tbh? like.... to be pretty... loved by the little miss of the dollhouse who turned them into dolls... etc.

in the rp, juza is the first other character outside of the dollhouse set who fully becomes a doll. fun! fun. makg ily. i will fix the minigame mechanics soon.

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14.

Keep Up

bantai, canon compliant, fire up! mantou fist, character study

this was a comm for my friend lyric which featured the funniest message ever: "but i am very different from banri so i could never really figure it out. i thought u would be the person to turn to for it!" LIKE. OKAY. ABAC I GUESS (ASSIGNED BANRI AT COMMISSION).

while i was outlining this fic in my head i was actually mumbling to myself about what happens as i was walking to uni campus. so random people walked by me hearing mumble shit like "and then banri goes god fucking damn it nanao taichi you fucking idiot" because he IS.

there's a deleted scene from this one where taichi actually gets a fever from overwork and banri looks after him while also calling him stupid and not understanding how you could possibly work so hard that you physically get sick. me too, oomf. banri gets complimented for working hard and literally cannot wrap his head around how to respond to it so he just goes nah and deflects. u just like me fr. maybe this is why lyric commed me.

also, i was writing this around the time the haikyuu movie came out, so i got to watch it! kenhina as my chara study for bantai (unironic).

also with regard to one of the lines in the fic, i also posted this on my priv: (the typo is supposed to be what taichi *heard)

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15.

oomf gets killed by juban (not clickbait) (a little bit clickbait)

crackfic

another one for the callout fics series! there's not much context to this, only that i wish for melody and bellie to one day be juban together in an rp. that would be so funny.

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16.

The Case of the Triple Oddity

citron & taichi, fluff

this one was a cute little thing i wrote for the annual pride exchange! there's not much to say about it and neither are they particularly fruity in this, but it's just a cute little thing. all in a gay's work!

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17.

Nanao Taichi's 6-Step Plan to Figuring Out Which Crush is Real (So You Can Confess and Get the Romance of Your Dreams)

taitenyuki, taichi & muku, getting together

this one was a comm from someone who requested silly taichi flirting and taitenyuki! it was my first time writing taiten or taiyuki (although i do love taiyuki and should write more taiyuki). i asked some of my friends for silly movie-esque ways of flirting and got the stuff you see in the fic.

meet-cutes was so funny given that they already know each other and literally live together. i think that taichi deserves a lot of love and a lot of kissies!

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18.

some things just make sense

sakushu, post-canon

... so you can guess when i started playing p5r.

anyway, can i interest you all in the sakushu agenda? i just think there's something about them yknow. something so. so! okay. i don't remember how i got started on this. probably when i was on vc with quill playing p5r.

in my head they used to live in the same small town. sakuya's got relatives there so he was there for a while. they got together and cared each other very much. they were each other's first... a lot of things. they ended up breaking things off when sakuya had to leave because they weren't. like. long distance wasn't good for them. but they still care each other.

i think after this fic they hang out a lot. reconnect. they both are in tokyo for the long haul... they can try again. right person, wrong time, but now it could be the right time. idk. i like sakushu.

also i hadn't finished playing p5r when i posted this, i think i was literally only like up to like. 3rd palace? or so? so i was very worried about writing akiren and that's why he has like 4 lines LMAO but i was very mentally ill about akiren since the moment i laid my eyes on his stupid catboy face <3

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19.

The Spring to Your Smile

taisaku, fluff

this one was a comm for raina who requested cute sakutai fluff!

i've been to a handful of arcades in japan, so i used what i knew to write it. i actually really like taisaku, so it's kind of a shame that i don't write it enough! this is actually my first taisaku fic... that's crayz...

there's something about them yknow. so lovely. shaped. i wish them a very happiness. taichi will spoil sakuya so much.

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20.

love me, love me, love me

akiren-centric, canon-compliant (kind of)

the fuck you mean this is only fic 20 out of 30. did i really write that many in the last 3 months of the year. christ. okay anyway.

so i finished p5r in august and er. basically went crazy. now my head is full of p5r. (i also finished p4g in 2024, though i haven't written any p4 fics. the p1 manga as well!)

the idea for this one came to me in a burst of inspiration in the middle of me rambling about one of the 749832742 aus i have come up with to ruin akiren's life. guess my favorite p5r character. i dare you.

this fic is for a specific interpretation of ren's parents. i don't actually have one solid hc for how i think his parents are like, so i just do whatever fits the vibe. there's something here about how his parents are like... highschool sweethearts who had a kid they weren't ready for... so they got married but it strained their relationship with each other and with the child. yknow?

also, yeah. the title is literally aishite x3. so, yknow. thematic.

i also made it a point in the end note that arsene isn't in joker's mask because OURGH there's something about what that means symbolically that makes me unwell.

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21.

baptize (don't worry about tomorrow)

shuakeshu (kind of??), drinking, alcoholism

so i'm like. half a psych major. and basically i was trying to come up with what a lot of the persona game mechanics mean in terms of psych concepts. so like, for example, tv dungeons are manifestations of psyches where the id is repressed too much, while palaces are manifestations of psyches where the id is not controlled and allowed to just run wild, that kind of thing.

i explain this in the end notes of the fic, but basically i think there's two routes for call of chaos if it hypothetically just allows your instinct to do whatever: thanatos (anger, destruction) or eros (horny).

also really funny because like i think a few weeks later someone posted an akeshu fic where akechi uses call of chaos on himself and then gets horny or something? i was like welp. that's freud for ya!

anyway i was talking to quill about how call of chaos works. because the initial thought was actually "i sure hope akechi doesn't get permanent brain damage from fucking up his brain chemicals so much." and then quill points out, that's kind of addiction bait. and then i was like HMMM. INTERESTING.

so in this fic it manifests in alcoholism because alcohol tends to reduce inhibitions the same way call of chaos does (although it's a depressant. LISTEN DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS I'M NOT A MED STUDENT.) also because i love giving random charas drinking problems. and smoking problems. yippee!

anyway the funniest part is that i was writing this in the middle of my industrial/organizational psych class. lmao

---

22.

Coming Up Aces

akiren-centric, post-canon, 5+1

this is actually. basically the first fic i had in mind after finished p5r. because i'd been reading p5 fics and akiren's life fuckin SUCKSSSSS after canon. which is perfectly reasonable to assume and i think is probably true.

but also. he's my baby. so i wanted to give him some nice things. hence, this fic. just... something about how much he's grown and changed as a person in the year that p5r takes place. all the things he's learned from all the people he's met.

it's something like, he's changed so much and all his stats are at 5 now. but he's always been just. justice, as a central theme to p5. yk.

this is also written with like. very, very background shuake. like, i think it's most evident if you read the erudite section. because the essay he writes and submits is... basically about akechi. there's so much background shit in my head about this fic but it all tastes like akechi. is akechi dead in this one? err, who knows? i don't know.

actually, that part was my favorite to write, drawing from some stuff i learned in my own jpn lit class. the heike monogatari is like an account of the genpei war. minamoto no yoshitsune (same yoshitsune as in the game, yeah) was one of the great heroes who fought against the taira clan alongside his brother, yoritomo. but as the story goes, yoritomo was the reason yoshitsune died - betrayal.

yoshitsune is a tragic hero in japanese literature. maybe THE tragic hero ever. and so we get these kinds of notions of japanense heroism:

aside from that, there's something in there about how akiren recites more in class because he's looking for someone to debate with like he did with akechi or even makoto sometimes, but no one really engages him the same way unless its like the teachers doing presentation discussions and shit. also, sato mentions that the class is doing sengoku period next. which is a funny reference that is also akechi-coded because haha akechi mitsuhide.

in my head like. the history and literature classes are connected, and typically study the same period at around the same time. so both just finished heian/kamakura, and are moving onto muromachi period.

i love all the stupid cringefail npcs i've created for this fic. i have so, so, so much to say about it. akiren's got a mini confidant with both hiroki and sato. also, katsumi and ennis from harugaoka quartet get namedropped, and itsuko in part 5 is named after my extended uraomote universe homare, who is kondo's wife.

also, fun fact. i... submitted the lit review for my thesis late because i was writing this instead. anyway.

---

23.

feels like summer when i'm with you

ichijyushi, beach

this one was for the hypmic gotcha for gaza on twt! crazy... me writing hypmic fic in 2024 was not on my bingo list, but hey! it was fun, actually... i kinda missed it. ichiro isn't a character i write often, but he comes relatively easily to me.

i like him a lot. buster bros still number one! not much to say about it, but i like ichijyushi and jyushi's cringefail crush on ichiro.

---

24.

midsummer love (now and forever)

fling poly, beach

"is this fucking fic titled after summer time love by kazunari miyoshi" yes. also i didn't realize i got two beach fics in a row, but hey! this was also for the hypmic gotcha for gaza. they specifically requested a beach fic, so i was like dawg, i GOT YOU. ramuda pov my beloved, i haven't written you in so long...

fling posse makes me really happy, so i'm glad to have been able to write them again! there's something about them that makes me... yeah. :3

---

25.

the woes of being a plus one

tsuzuomi, halloween

this actually isn't the next fic i uploaded, it was actually the shusumi one, but i'll get into that later because i split it into 2 chapters. this one was for lav for a halloween server exchange!

i... learned that writing tsuzuru is kind of ass. i'm kind of ass LMAO. i don't have much practice writing tsuzuru not in conjunction with harugumi, so writing tsuzuomi was a bit of a challenge... but i had fun, and they're cute!

i asked my friends what would be a funny couples costume, lav said sun and moon, and i was like bet? bet.

---

26.

Monsters of Veludo

azashifu, monsters of verity au, enemies to . something

this one was written for the mankai charity zine! oh BOY i have words about this au. this was one of the aus i pitched, along with devil's gambit and fmab... silly. anyway.

most of the background au stuff of this au is in the little accompaniment pdf of the mancha zine, so actually, you should read that! but generally, the premise is more or less that acts of violence create monsters - like, literal shadow creature stuff. in the series, there’s 3 types of monsters, based on how horrific your violence was, but in the fic, i only included the coolest one: the sunai (what shiffy is).

theres like a future scene in my head where like after azami kills someone for the first time, intentional or otherwise - and this is after he and shifuto start to become friends - shifuto sees him and knows something is different and. "oh, azami... what have you done...?"

hmm i have a spinoff au of this that's not othe same universe because that one is manknai compliant and features itaru, tsumugi, juza, and homare as monster abominations (and sakyo.) kiketsu au my beloved... i'm happy to talk about that one too tho!

---

27.

ideals of the blank future and beyond

shusumi, risky game, actors au

yeah so this happened. sumire is so gekkagumi. she's so forgetting who you are and living as someone else. she's so struggling to move on and move past what happened. she's so it should have been you why did you leave me here. you can't hate her enough to hurt because you'll never hate her as much as she hates herself.

and so i wrote sumire risky game.

this started because, as i usually do, i was assigning charas of my most recent interest (p5r) to a3 plays. and then shusumi mentioned, and then i was like, ohhh, it'd be so fucked up if risky game.

the other cast are akechi as ledley because it'd be so funny and i wanted to make him say the little chicks line, haru as eda because thematically appropriate, ryuji as oliver because... i mean yeah. and then makoto and nicolette (dominic) because i just think it's so funny to make her play a little spoiled rich boy.

in this au, it's basically all of the phantom thieves in a theater troupe. they're putting on risky game right now, and it follows the plot of the risky game event story, etc etc. there's just something about it. they made wadakuma play catherine in the esute risge stage and i was like oh my fucking god.

it's mentioned in the fic that kasumi was a gymnast and sumire is an actor. basically like. kasumi and sumire's career paths diverged when they were younger, sumire goes into acting a la yumi p4 and kasumi continues with gymnastics. the year kasumi dies, sumire "lives as her" (though not literally, since no persona au). so she goes back to like gymnastics and all that to try and keep kasumis memory alive, but yk she kinda ass at it. she's super out of practice and she has no love for it aside from a misguided sense of keeping her sister's spirit alive. theres a line in the grave scene where sumire says shes been keeping up acting the past 2 years. that includes the year she was acting as kasumi.

i don't have any experience writing play scripts, so i just kind of copied oomf's from the times he's asked me to check his.

i will not start rambling about risky game and norman, but just know that it's SO FUCKED UP. god. it's so fucked up. they make me so upset.

other stuff gets mentioned in the end notes of the fic! so if you're curious, you can check that out. i have other thoughts spinning around my mind (such as yusuann clockwork heartbeat, shuann stray devil blues, shuake scarlet mirror, etc... also several people have suggested shukita nocturnality and like. i see it.)

---

28.

assexual attorney

crackfic

yeah i have no words for this. ryu just hates being associated with banri at all ever, and then this was born. i love my friends, SWEAR.

---

29.

burning red

shuakeshu, soulmate au, post-canon, canon compliant

i didn't realize that this is actually my second color-based soulmate au fic. i'm typically a soulmark, names sort of girlie. anyway. this fic was for a persona winter exchange that i joined.

actually, it was supposed to be a different fic. i have that other fic plotted out, but i wasn't able to finish it because it's quite. long. and dramatic. and plot heavy. but it's vampires + soulmates + royalty. something about akechi being a vampire prince being betrothed to akiren the human prince and then... they're soulmates...? but vampires don't have soulmates.................. wow that's so weird. anyway, i'll post that fic one day.

until then, burning red! the title is from red by taylor swift (sorry) but like i think it's very. yeah. losing him was blue like i've never known... missing him was dark gray all alone... forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met...

umm. the colors are fading because akiren genuinely believes that akechi's dead. but they won't ever go away for real while akechi is still alive. soulmates tied not only to cosmic power but also persona perception. cognition. very p5.

the part about robin hood using samarecarm to heal akechi and save him after shido's palace is also ... yeah. quill's hc is that's how it happened and i was like omg real. so true.

i'm gonna be honest, i'm personally of the belief that akechi should stay dead at the end of p5r (thematically), but also i will not complain because i love making akechi alive.

---

30.

Sentimental Value

tsuzumizu, itaru & tsuzuru

this one's for the a3 holiday exchange! it's tsuzumizu but actually, mizuno isn't there. i wanted to write something about tsuzuru looking for a christmas gift for mizuno, but with a spin on the whole, "just write him a play!" because... y'know, i feel like he would. of course. think of that. that's his default, actually. and what better person to ask than mr. gift giving himself, itaru chigasaki?

i actually wrote this while i was on vacation lmao. on my shitty ahh phone. the screen is glitching so it gets hard to write fics on there, but. yeah! and it's up~ also, gratuitous annoying itaru. i love annoying itaru.

---

bonus!

20:01

akechi-centric

wrote this the night before my birthday as a personal birthday gift to myself. "akechi trying to kill himself?" yes. listen. mr. "i didn't plan to live past 18" OKAY. OKAY. did he actually want to die (in this fic)? personally, i think not. but it's up to interp. i dunno man. he just possesses me.

also i hope you guys like the akiren characterization, because i love to passively characterize ren in akechi-centric fics.

akechi is stupid !!! it's only the question of is he just naturally a dumbass or is he willfully being ignorant? he always thinks ren can see right through him, which he can, but the core that he thinks ren sees is always like. some kind of curled up sad crying pathetic thing. when thats not what ren sees. this is a constant in my fics its always akechi being like oh he thinks im pathetic. oh hes gonna try to kill me. like NO BITCH GET A GRIP!!!

need this guy to get some therapy.

---

bonus!

with(out) this

juban

i got really mad at this one juban fic i kept seeing that really irked me from the description alone so i was like bro i bet i could write a better one and i don't even LIKE juban. so yeah.

---

THAT WAS 2024! grah. that's so many. hope to write more in the coming year! let's see... my tenma zine fic will make an appearance in the 2025 wrap up, as well as probably... more shuake fics. fuck this baka life.

[beaniebeensbaby201]

MIDNIGHT SKY// JAY KELSO X READER

For first chapter click here: Part 1

A/N: I decided to make Cassie their family friend instead of their actual cousin to go along with the story.  But there might be a story twist a bit, but I'm still figuring it out. Nothing too dramatic kr anything, just who her parents r and stuff.

Part 2 of this will be posted either tonight or tomorrow.

I know you have all been waiting for a part two, and I haven't been very active with my stories. But I'm going to get back into writing, I have been watching the last of us recently, and I am going to be writing a story for Joel.

If anyone wants to be tagged in this series lmk!

•○●•○●•○●●○○●○○●○○●•○●○•○

    We were back in Forman's basement playing uno. I was swinging my leg that was over my thigh and saw Ozzie place all his cards down.

  "Ozzie, boo that's not how you play. You're only supposed to drop one card." I frowned, confused as to what he was doing.

   He looked at me with a slight glare on his face as I gulped.

  "Excuse me?" I rolled my eyes at the boy and sighed.

    "Cool basement." Gwen said as I sat down in a chair next to the light skinned girl.

   "Yea man, it's dope." I agreed, I adjusted my sunglasses that were starting to fall when I tucked a piece of red hair in.

  "It's a dump." I took a swig of my cola that was resting on the table.

   "Ozzie man, manners." I hissed, but he just rolls his eyes at me.

   "Ozzie and I met last year in detention. Tell her what you did." Gwen said, getting excited. 

   "Chill out bro, you're gonna burn a hole in that chair." She slapped my hand, and I just gasped dramatically at her.

  "You didn't!" She just rolls her eyes at my dramaticness.

   "I told my math teacher his wife was cheating on him. She was making out with some guy at IHOP." I laughed, I would always laugh whenever Ozzie would tell us this story as Leia looked over at me like I'm crazy.

   "That's horrible." Leia said as I took another sip.

   "I know, IHOPE." He scoffed.

   "She could have done it somewhere else. Why iHOP? The lamest date ever, man. You know, maybe the government had something to do with this man. I mean, my old man would tell me some shit about them." I said, as Leia gives me a weird look.

  "What does the government have to do with ihop?" I just shrugged at Leia's question, not knowing the answer to her question.

   "I don't know, man." I laughed.

  The door to the basement opened and revealed my boyfriend, Nikki, and Nate.

   "Babe!" I jumped into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist as he quickly caught me with a low grunt.

  "Ugh, please don't make out. I think I might gag." I rolled my eyes, but I kissed him anyways.

   "You will not believe what we found." Nate said he looked like a kid in a candy store.

  "You found a keg?" I asked.

    "Bro! You ruined the story, man!" I give him a fake pout as I dropped my feet back to the ground and ignored Nate's wines.

   "You don't get excited like that unless it has something to do with beer. And like I said, if it's a story about how you found a keg, I'd like to hear how you, my dear friend, how you found it." I skipped towards the couch, with Jay's hand in mine as I made him sit first and plant myself on his lap. 

   "Now, tell me. How did you find this tap?" I pat my lap waiting for Nate to start his story.

    "Because if this is just you telling us the story of you eating a McRib again, then I will be disappointed in you." I joked, as Nate looked at me with a scared look on his face.

   "Hey man, I thought it was gone forever!" I rolled my eyes and picked at the chip black nail polish on my nails.

    "Aw, you were scared, babe?" I groaned in annoyance, tilting my head back that was now resting on Jay's shoulder.

   Jay pats my stomach as he laughed at my dramaticness.

   "So awful to see those two." I leaned my face so my face was hiding in his neck away from their view.

   "Can you tell your story now, man?" I asked, but not facing their view as my eyes were closed getting bored.

  "So, we were just chilling in my van. Cassie was supposed to join us, but she ditched Jay for Gwen." I shrugged.

  "Because I'm her favorite." Gwen piped in.

  "Nu-huh, I am." Jay pouted, but I put my fingers through his hair and shook my head.

  "Sorry, babe, but Gwen is my favorite." I give him a kiss on his pouted lips that turned into a smile.

   "But at least you get kisses and other things." I whispered the other part that the others didn't hear.

   "Why don't I get the front seat?" Nikki asked, I looked up at Nate and then back to Jay.

  "Yea, Nate, why doesn't your girlfriend get the front seat?" I pressed.

  "I called shotgun." I scoffed at Jay and quickly got off of his lap.

  "So, if Nate called shotgun in your car, he'd get the front seat?" Jay gulped and looked at Gwen, but she just shrugged and had a smirk on her face. 

  "N-no?" He stuttered, I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that was a lie.

   "He's my best friend Cas." Nate claimed, I ignored him, and I just sat back down in my regular lawn chair.

  "You get no cuddles nor kisses for a week." Jay continued to protest, but I ignored him as Leia looked at me.

   "Wow." Leia said as I looked at her with scrunched eyebrows.

  "How do you do that? That was so brave." I snorted at the blonde girl.

  "Everyone is scared of her." Leia looked at me with a confused look on her face.

  "But you're so nice! How could you be scary?" I heard a noise coming from everyone in the room.

  "Last year, Cassidy freaking froze the football teams' clothes! And she pulled the fire alarm so she could get out of a math test!" I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest, and crossed my leg over my thigh.

  "It's easy, man. You just gotta make sure the cameras can't see you. Also, I have so many fake doctors' notes, man. I think my old man would be proud of me." I joked, as I have a fake smile on my face.

  "I still don't know how you're with a Kelso. Your dad must've flipped, dude." I shrugged my shoulders.

   "Who's you're dad?" Leia asked.

   "Steven Hyde, but I kept my moms last name." Leia went wide-eyed as she looked at me.

   "Your dad is my dad's best friend! Dude, that's so weird!" I sighed. I continued to pick at the black nail polish off of my fingers.

   "Not really.  I don't see him, but he got arrested, and I hadn't seen him in a few years." I said, finishing my sob story.

  "But anyways, you were saying Nate?" I wanted him to finish his story.

   He was telling us how he got a keg from Mama's as I rolled my eyes.

  "How the hell did you get a keg? You two are awful liars! Jay, you're terrible at keeping up with a lie without stuttering." I said, pointing Jay out as he gives me a disbelief look.

   "Bro!" Nate said, offended. But they both started saying bro to each other.

  "I need a new boyfriend." I shook my head and looked to Ozzie, who placed a hand on my thigh.

  "It's okay, you'll learn for next time." I scowled at the boy, and he just gave me a sarcastic smile.

   "They were like this the whole time." I gasped, placing a hand over my heart and quickly rushing towards Nikki and giving her a hug.

   "I'm so sorry for you, babes." I pat her curly hair, but making sure not to ruin her curls.

   "Come on, babe. It's the fourth of July, miracle! With beer!" He exclaimed the last part to Nikki.

    "Then what are we waiting for! Let's tap that keg and get the party going!" Gwen said. I quickly agreed with her. Nate, on the other hand, looked worried.

   "We don't have a tap." I groaned, leaning on Gwen, who was sitting on a chair at the table.

  "You idiot! You got a keg with no tap!" I said, shaking my head at the boy.

   "Would a kiss make it better?" Nikki sarcastically asked me as I scowled at her playfully.

   "Do you have a mouthful of beer?" She shook her head.

  "Then no." I replied.

    "Well. I have something remotely better." Leia said.

I was sitting on Jay's lap, as I was staring at uno cards.  

   "Bro, pick a card." I giggled, looking at Gwen.

  "Bro, c'mon!" I whined. She caved and took a card.

   "I bet you it's a blue card!' I laughed when it was the right card.

  "Dude, that's so fuckin cool bro! How did you know?" I put an invisible key to my lips and zipped my mouth. But I ended up laughing, then I stopped, then I continued to laugh again. 

 

  Our high was over as Nate was now trying to bang the keg opened. I was yawning as I was sitting next to Ozzie as I was staring at Nate.

    "Nate versus beer. You know, I thought I trained you to he better kid. I thought that you'd learned better from me. I was so wrong." I tsk at the boy.

  "Cassie man, would you shut up! You're making me feel bad!" I rolled my eyes as I walked away. I made my way towards Jay, and leaned on his arm.

  "I thought you said no cuddles or kisses for a week?" A grin was plastered on his lips as I grumbled at him.

  "Shut up." He laughed as I got more comfortable on his arm.

   "Wait, why can't we just go back to Mama's and get a tap?" I looked at Leia with a terrified look.

  "Look, man, we all tried. I even let Jay flirt with her!" I said, Gwen shuddered in response.

   "It's true. And Cassie is very possessive of Jay." I nodded my head, agreeing.

   "It's true. But I'm not that bad, am I?" I looked to Nikki, who gives me a half and half shake with her hand.  

  "But you only do it when other girls flirt with him. Which is understandable." I let out a sigh of relief.

   "Even Cas tried. Jay had to swoop in and save the girl before she blew her cover. She almost got caught by the cops again." I nodded my head. A look of fright was on my face.

   "It's true, man. I almost died." Jay throws me into his arms and hugged me as I fakes sobbed.

   "I have failed at lying!" I cried, fake sobs racking my body.

  "It's okay, babe. It's not you. It was her." He assured me as I pulled away from his warm body.

   "Okay."Okay." He pushes some hair out of my face as he gives me a soft kiss on the lips.

  "But you haven't tried yet." Gwen said, pointing to Leia.

  "She's innocent! She's a Forman, man!" Gwen gives me a glare in response as I silenced myself.

  "Then help me, you could show me how to be braver. Or lie better, I mean I was on the debate team. Can't be that hard to lie." I snorted.

  "Debate team?" I asked, in return, a slap on my arm from Jay as I silenced myself.

   "Cas could help you. I mean, she's literally the best at stealing." Jay said as I placed a hand on my heart.

  "Awe babe, that's so sweet." I sneak my hand into his pocket as he continues to stare into my eyes as I stole a piece of gum.

   "See, expert." We all rolled our eyes at the boy.

  "You're just whipped." Gwen said to Jay, who scoffs in response and tried to deny.

  "Deny, all you want, babe, but it's true. You are." I said while blowing a bubble with the mint gum.

  "I want to be you when I grow up." I laughed at Leia, but she was one hundred percent serious.

   "Alright. So, here's the plan." And I knew just from then that Leia Forman will become a woman, and learn that she could be strong without worrying about others.

[book-shop-dates]

Spark: A Draco Malfoy X Hufflepuff Reader Fanfiction

Chapter 2:

As soon as Professor Snape had stopped talking and let the class get on with the tasks, Draco turned towards you. Without looking away from your book full of neatly written notes, you could sense his eyes on you. He was about to make a snarky remark until you turned towards him, looking him dead in the eye. Draco's mouth opened and closed a few times, before looking defeated and slumping back into his chair. You've seen Draco around in hallways and in some of your classes, but you never paid much attention to him. Yet, right now, it's all you could seem to do.

His platinum hair was neatly styled, leaving his striking silver eyes to look right back at you. It didn't feel awkward, staring at each other. It felt almost... intoxicating. Draco looked as if he was going to say something again, but instead he just sneered at you. As you tilted your head in confusion, you heard Draco mutter under his breath: "Shut up, Mudblood." You just sighed and continued working in silence, it's not like you haven't been called horrible names like that before. One of your best features was being able to forgive people, but sometimes you took words to heart.

"So, uh... Malfoy is it?" You tried making small talk with him. He made a noise to agree and said nothing else. You realised he wasn't the biggest fan of conversations with a muggle-born Hufflepuff. The rest of the lesson was took in silence by you both. Nearer to the end of the lesson, you both agreed to meet in Draco's dorm room to complete the Amortentia Potion later that evening. You felt as if he suggested this evening just so he could get it over and done with.

***

Pacing around your dorm-room, fifteen minutes before you agreed to meet Malfoy, Lyra walked in and immediately noticed something was wrong. "Girl. What's up?" She sat you down as you bounced your leg from anxiety. She put her hand on your knee to stop it. "I have to be at Draco's dorm-room in fifteen minutes to complete a potion together for Professor Snape's class tomorrow. I don't know why but I feel incredibly sick and nervous. I'm afraid he'll make fun of me or embarrass me in front of the whole Slytherin house." Lyra just sighed and rubbed your back in a comforting manner. "If he does anything, and I mean anything, I'll kill him. I don't care about going to Azkaban, it would be worth it for you." She smiled smugly. You just chuckled and got yourself together, ready for the walk to the dungeons. Before you left, you grabbed a cookie from your muggle cookie-tin and wrapped it up. The least you could do was let Draco have a gift, considering he's letting you in his dorm-room.

Walking along the hallway towards the dungeon you saw a few Slytherins looking at you, then whispering to one another. You already felt embarrassed as your cheeks hinted with a slight shade of pink. Trying not to show it though, you walked with your head high and a smile on your face. That smile slowly faded when you saw a certain Slytherin standing outside the entrance to their common room. Pansy. She had always disliked you, and it was hard to not dislike her back. She was arrogant, naïve and annoying. Not to forget she loved picking on you for some strange reason unknown to you. "Oh my, its a little Hufflepuff! What brings you down here, aren't you going to shrivel up if you don't catch the last sunrays?" She turned to her friends who were laughing next to her: "I always thought she'd turn to dust before actually making her way down here." She turned back to you, "If you wanted my attention so badly, why didn't you just say earlier?" A few more Slytherins joined the crowd that now surrounded you, Pansy and her friends. At this point, your face burned red from embarrassment, but you wouldn't let that stop you from fighting your own battles for once, even though you weren't very good at doing that. "I'm actually here to see Draco, thank you very much." You tried your best to sound cold, but it came out to sound more high-pitched. "Ha! Draco!? As if he'd want to see you!" Pansy laughed loudly, causing everyone else to laugh around you too. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You were never going to live this down. What about if Draco set this whole thing up, and made Pansy stand and wait for me here, just so she can embarrass me even more than usual?

"Actually. I invited her." A cunning voice came from behind the crowd. The laughing died instantly as none other than Draco Malfoy walked through everyone, finding you in the centre of the crowd. He had to admit, you looked cute when you were scared. He shook out that thought as quickly as it came in though, how could the Slytherin prince find a Hufflepuff cute? "D-Draco. You invited a Mudblood Hufflepuff to our common room?" Pansy shuddered while saying the word Hufflepuff. "Actually, I invited her to my dorm. Come on, Y/N." He said as he walked back through the crowd, you just stuck your head down and followed him closely, leaving the whole Slytherin crowd bewildered.

When you reached Draco's dorm-room he closed the door behind you and you breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, for that back there. I felt so intimidated an-" Draco cut you off: "Don't thank me, I did it more for my benefit than yours. Any chance to put Pansy down, I'll take. No thanks to you though I'll be having to beat of rumours for weeks to come." A sudden pang in your heart made you feel even more uneasy than you did out there. So Draco definitely just wanted this to get over and done with. No chance of friendship at all. Not that you wanted a friendship, but it was always nice to have another person you could talk to in the hallways. Draco was never that sort of person though, so what did you expect?

"Well, lets get started then!" You said, trying to bring enthusiasm to the ever-so bleak room. Draco nodded in agreement and you both started working on the potion. You could have sworn Draco had moments where he'd stare at you, but maybe he was just daydreaming, lost in thought. You were right, he was lost in thought, but not about what you'd expect. He kept staring at you because of the way your eyebrows furrowed when you were focusing, and the way you stuck your tongue out ever so slightly while measuring ingredients, and the way your hair looked so silky and soft he could play with it for hours and never get bored. What on Merlin's grave was he thinking about right now? He can't think like that towards anyone, especially not a Mudblood. His life didn't leave time for daydreaming about stupid little romances. Whether he could call his daydreams a romance he was unsure, but either way, he didn't like it.

Eventually, after you completing most of the work and Draco zoning out, the Amortentia Potion was complete. You sat in silence admiring your work before Draco's voice made you slightly jump. You almost forgot he was in the room with you, you were that focused. "So, are you going to smell it?" He asked, catching you off guard. "I, uhm... well yeah, sure, why not?" You stumbled over your words, getting nervous to figure out what you'd smell. You've always loved the idea of love. It's a comforting feeling of hope when you feel sad. Its a comforting feeling that maybe one day you'll find someone who fits you just right. Someone you get a spark from. Taking a deep breath to ground yourself, you leaned forwarded and smelt the potion. It hit you suddenly, but softly. "Well? What do you smell?" Draco asked eagerly, realising how he sounded as he coughed and straightened up. "I smell Green Apples, mixed with some Mint and Old Parchment..." You trailed off. The smell reminded you instantly of someone, but who that someone was you couldn't remember. You looked up at Draco, who seemed almost as confused as you did. "Go on, why don't you smell it too?" You questioned him as he shot you a look. "I don't need to smell a stupid potion to know what I like." And to that you just replied with a pleading smile, to which he couldn't help but smirk at your facial features lighting up when he sat next to you on the floor, and smelt it. He sat for a second, the smell seeming familiar too him just like yours did to you. Draco then spoke out: "Freshly-baked cookies, Lavender Shampoo, and Vanilla."

After a few minutes of silence. you helped Draco clean up and went to leave to walk back to your dorm. Though you stopped yourself for two reasons. The first one: "Oh, I almost forgot!" You rummaged through your bag to find a cookie wrapped up in baking paper and held it out to Draco. He looked confused until you told him, "It's a cookie, I made them yesterday night so they are still quite fresh." He caught himself smiling at the thought that someone would give him a gift, a homemade gift, without expecting anything back. You put the cookie on the edge of his bed before you walked towards the door. Draco didn't say thank you, but through his smile you could tell he appreciated it. "I don't suppose I could ask you for a really big favour?" You shyly asked. "Depends what it is, L/N." He knew your last name? This threw you off track slightly, almost forgetting what you were about to ask him. "Can you walk me out of the Dungeons? I really don't want to face Pansy again... Actually, don't worry, I'll be okay, sorry for ask-" Draco cut you off, "Lets go then, before I change my mind." And with that, Draco walked you out towards the exit of the Slytherin common-room. You were going to say thank you for walking you this far, but he continued walking, urging you to hurry up every time you stopped. Soon enough you reached the Hufflepuff common-room entrance. Neither of you expected to walk this far with each other, but you both kind of enjoyed the peaceful, unawkward silence between the two of you. "Thank you, Draco, I'll see you around!" You smiled and waved to him, walking through the entrance to your common-room. Little did you know, when Draco reached his dorm-room and closed his door, a massive smile overtook his face when he looked back at the cookie. He ate it as quick as he could, craving more afterwards due to the taste being amazing. He felt like he should of savoured the cookie more, but at least he still had the neatly folded baking paper left. Although it was only baking paper, he kept it because it was one of the first gifts he had received from someone who actually meant nothing harsh by it. It had somehow made his heart feel warm, unlike his usual feeling of coldness. You fell asleep almost as soon as you got in your dorm-room and got ready for bed. You both slept sound, with a smile on each of your faces.

Authors Note: hey my little lovebugs !! thank you so much for all the recent support on my first chapter and prologue, i hope this second chapter will make you slightly giddy for both Y/N and Draco. lots more cute moments to come !! lots of love !!

[nerdgatehobbit]

12/16/23

All right, it’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these. Mostly because there hasn’t been that much to report. I have begun The Librarians TV show, and I’m enjoying it so far. While mostly fun, the movie trilogy was somewhat iffy in places so it is already clearer that the show is better. A while back I did see the first Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century episode, but it was way more dystopian than I remembered so I haven’t kept watching yet.

I’ve been doing a daily BATB post this month; I’ll be shifting to the 1991 movie for a week or so but then I’ll resume reblogging posts about the 2022 special to wrap up the year. Thanks to everyone for putting up with me shoving the same dozen or so posts back into your feed. Because I do love the celebration special a lot; I am not kidding when I say it kicked my BATB affection to new heights. <3

There are daily BBC Merlin Gwen posts scheduled into a chunk of January. After that, either I will go searching for more posts out in the wild (again) or start reblogging from the depths of my blog. Or I’ll rewatch the show for the sole purpose of getting more screencaps of her. Though it’s very possible I’ll do some screencaps of a different Gwencelot pairing from the 1994 movie once I make time to watch it, in addition to the TV show posts.

Over in the Pokémon Masters app, I did obtain two of Emma & Crobat in one pull but unfortunately Professor Sycamore & Gogoat have eluded me. Hopefully there won’t be any sync pairs I really want in January, as my free gem stash is running low.

However, with 2023 wrapping up, I’m debating what else to have in the queue. Since they both were turning 30 this year, I’ve been doing a daily ST DS9 & Power Rangers post. I do want to get back into creating my own posts rather than just reblogging, but I’m not entirely sure what media to do it with.

I won’t promise to adhere to the results, but it’ll be interesting if nothing else to see what you all want me to post about.

[sunlightbabe]

Congratulations on 1000 followers!!! You deserve it 💕 And I LOVE the song idea so here goes mine, if it inspires at all: "Babe, Can I Call?" by the Hunna with Thomas my beloved and something hurt/comfort maybe, but I'm sure you'll come up with something amazing either way 🥰🥰

thank you laura my love!! i remember seeing an ask game floating around with it and i thought it was really fun- i'm glad so many others seem to love it just as much <3 one hurt/comfort prompt coming up!

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BABE, CAN I CALL? {youtube + spotify}

SUMMARY: Thomas has always been your weak spot. Even after the breakup, after he moved on with someone else, that still remained true. You had hoped to ignore it, but a late night call re-opens that old hurt and for reasons you'll never understand, you agree to hear him out.

You should know better. Any text you receive after 2 am is never a good thing.

Yet here you are, wearing sleep shorts and a too big sweatshirt that you should have given back weeks ago, arms wrapped around yourself for comfort and warmth in equal measure. If you were smart, you'd still be back home, snug in bed and tucked underneath your blankets, without a text message on your phone because you blocked his number the moment he called it quits.

But you've never been particularly smart when it comes to Thomas.

You're in the park by your apartment, sitting on the swing that creaks way too loudly. Maybe five minutes pass before you see a figure pass beneath the streetlight. Before you see him.

There's stubble on his face and the dark circles under Thomas's eyes are dark, meaning it's been more than just one sleepless night for him. You want to walk over and run your thumb against the thin skin. You want to find comfort in his disheveled appearance because clearly, it's been rough for him too. But you don't.

He comes to a stop several feet away from you, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the asphalt. Thomas chews on his lower lip as he mulls something over in his head. You don't give him the chance to speak.

"What do you want?" You're proud of the way your voice stays firm. No vocal cracks.

Thomas folds into himself a little, shoulders lifting to his ears.

"... I just wanted to talk," he says after a moment, his eyes still not meeting yours. You want to snap, want to ask him why this couldn't be done over texts, or even a quiet call in the bathroom, you want to ask why he felt like he had the right to drag you out of bed this late at night.

Instead, you say nothing, letting the silence settle heavily between you two.

Thomas swallows audibly. When he speaks next, it's so quiet that you have to lean forward from where you sit to make sure you heard him correctly.

"I... I think I made a mistake. And I couldn't wait until morning, I had to see you again because I... I needed to know."

There's a lump in your throat. You swallow it down and fight back the sudden surge of hope that flares in your chest again. You can't get hurt again and yet-

"And do you? Do you know?"

Thomas finally looks up and when his eyes meet yours, something leaps inside your chest. He looks vulnerable, eyes wide and nearly glossy under the limited light. You can see a faint tremble in his lower lip and can watch as his shoulders straighten, as his hands clench into fists by his sides.

"Yeah. I know now."

It's late at night and you're sitting in the park, freezing in the late winter air, and you know tomorrow will be miserable because of the lack of sleep, but you can't help the smile that creeps onto your face. It's not a guarantee, but there's something in Thomas's face that makes you want to hear him out.

"Take a seat," you say with a nod of your head towards the swing to your right. "Tell me what's on your mind?"

With a relieved sigh, Thomas walks over and plops onto the swing beside you. He nervously rubs his hands together and you sit there quietly.

That surge of hope burns brighter in your chest.

{ maneskinbrainrot's 1000 follower celebration }

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, thinking about how not only (as pointed out) that this season of OG is mediocre but LS has also been pretty Meh and remarkably for similar reasons. So because I have too much time on my hands today and too little willpower to be productive, here I give you my vaguely thought out character parallels between the two shows this season, and how they've made the season frustrating.

Eddie and Nancy: Both of these characters have had no plot or arc all season. Basically they're moral support and comedic relief.

Maddie and TK: Both have had a sort of half plot to themselves but ultimately are there to be supportive, be sad when their loved ones are in danger, and generally remind us Madney and Tarlos exist.

Bobby and Mateo: Both had exactly one plotline to themselves, both those plots came out of nowhere, and both were centered around another character that was mentioned maybe once before.

Athena and Paul: Both had a single plot centered on their past that was actually interesting and believably important for the character (though in LS at least it didn't require its own episode away from the group). The problem was that there was little to no follow up or any sense of closure, we're just kinds left to assume some sort of conversation happened.

Chim and Tommy: Both have been fairly visible this season (definitely Tommy more so than Chim except for the last few OG episodes) and had some pretty good best friend moments. But both had had incredibly frustrating plots that just didn't make sense or serve a purpose (Chim forgiving his parents and Tommy - a Mom - trying to one up an actual child).

Hen+Karen and Judd+Grace: Both were strong points for the their shows season (I'm firmly of the belief Tomorrow was the best episode of either show this season). Only a relatively minor complaint for both, namely the WTF did this come from of the Denny plot and that Grace's recent storyline has the 5th crime investigation on what's supposed to be a weewoo show.

The 911 Guest Cast and Owen: Basically these always seem to drag the show out of the firehouse and into some bullshit no one asked for. The exception is Ravi, who is the equivalent of Owen when the focus is on him being a captain to his team.

Buck and Carlos: Frankly both their plotlines have been a mess (though Buck has twice as many as Carlos), didn't go anywhere, and are full of missed opportunities for character development, especially in the realm of having an honest conversation with their parents.

If you've been keeping score I have left out of the list Marjan. This is because between the shows I feel like Marjan's character has been handled the best, even almost perfectly. We got backstory, character building, and even a cute dating plot.

Anyway hope you enjoy my afternoon musings!! This is also in part me trying to pretend this season is over (for OG at least) and I can draw these parallels instead of facing the fact we have 2 more episodes to slog through.

Bestie, were is the lie????

This is so spot on though and I laughed so hard when I read this! I've been...not necessarily avoiding but certainly not reading any LS spec because I'm just to tired to do that and OG but whooo boy am I side eying some of the stuff I've seen floating around. LS pulling the old RNM line of Tarlos having to "earn" their wedding like 🙄🙄🙄 Plus there was something about "tragedy" striking and WHY would they need more new drama when they had a whole unexpected WIFE that got sort of brushed off and the resolution for that happened off screen, and Carlos DIED and then it was just like, never mentioned again, and TK is going into his wedding without his mom. There's already so much there, why on earth would they need to invent something else?!

And don't get me started on OG doing the same thing but also packing the guest cast with a thousand people to wrap up Buck's 700 arcs he's got started that they just did nothing with until the last couple episodes apparently. I am...so tired.

Agreed though that the Marjan stuff has been good this season when she had stuff going on! I honestly don't know WHO was in charge of OG seasons 1-3 and the arc planning and pacing because Timmy is over on LS and it's having the same messy issues as OG in that regard when OG had like, the PERFECT formula those first few seasons. What was going on over there?! And more importantly, how do we get it BACK?!

[onyourhyuck]

[ 10:00 PM ]

prologue- “you smell really nice.” + “I’m cold come closer.”

tw- fluff, jaemin boyfriend scenarios, fem!y/n, jaemin is literally the king of bf materials. i won’t ever get over this hot sauce photoshoot look of jaemin…not really a smut but there are mentions of it. Jaem’s obsessed with y/n smell hehe

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“I’m cold come closer.” your boyfriend softly nags. y/n begins to shove closer into her clingy boyfriend’s arms. he wraps them round like there was no tomorrow guaranteed.

currently you two were having one of this lazy at home dates instead of going out for dinner and doing something extravagant. you and jaemin were both introverted people so you both preferred to be home anyways. your home dates right now is watching shrek 1, 2 and 3.

but as you were so focused on the tv screen really invested in this series. jaemin took an accidental whiff of your hair, the scent was fruity and sweet something he really likes, he soon realises it’s your entire scent and he was fighting the urge to smell you all over again.

you see, your boyfriend here has a very strong sense of smell and it is quite sensitive at times. Hence why you don’t really put on too much perfume when you’re with him as it bothers him. But he does like this newly found scent that you used .

“You smell really nice.”

He comments. Jaemin buried himself into the back of your neck and hair, humming at the pleasant smell. You speak but didn’t break eye contact from the tv. “Yeah? It’s my new body wash and shampoo.”

he hums linking arms with you as he kisses your neck, against it lowly speaking. “I think this is my favourite.”

you smile as your eyes travel to look at jaemin who was awfully distracting you from your childhood shrek series. you wrap your arms round his neck and straddle his lap sitting on it.

“you’re bored aren’t you?” y/n would ask and Jaemin slightly pouts. “of you? never. of shrek because we rewatched it like 100 times, yes, I am very bored.”

“but shrek is my favourite!” you whined and Jaemin leans closer holding your hips sighing. “How about we do something else…”

y/n glances up at him wondering what else could be way better than watching shrek with your lover. Jaemin leans in pulling your face into a lovingly steamy kiss as he runs his hands down your body. You let out soft mutters now getting the idea of what he meant by something else.

you told yourself mentally that you won’t fall for his love tricks, but little did you know you found yourself being pulled into it and falling for it quicker. Jaemin knows just how much of an effect he has on you.

he loved it. Having so much control over you just as much as control you have over him.

“god you are really into this idea, more than me I think.” he tells between the kisses you were so quickly reconnecting, almost as if you didn’t want to part away from his lips on yours.

y/n opens her eyes and breaks out of the kiss where she pulls away suddenly, turning back to the tv with a soft pout. “you tricked me again.” you tell jaemin who giggles. “Awh come on don’t play shrek again.”

“shush or else i’ll start from the first movie again!”

“yes m’am I’m going to silently suffer with a minor boner you’re sitting on.”

Anything but restarting shrek sounds like heaven right now to jaemin.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you! Reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out to keep you updated <3

[ryloriee678999]

Bittersweet (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Summary: you give your girlfriend one last call. (804 words)

Warning: major character death and stab wounds. 

Weakly you grab your phone to call Natasha. You smile when there's a bar of signal, it was lucky though because you’re in the middle of nowhere on some bench. 

You can't quite remember her number right now so you click on her contact, briefly smiling at the photo of her you saw every time you called her. You hold the phone up to your ear, your elbow right above the deep laceration slashed across your torso. The brightness from your phone is the only beam of light besides the one lamp post across from you. Everything else was pitch black.

911 wouldn't come in time and where you settled is like a ghost town. No one was around to see you bleed out and no one would come. So instead, you call your girlfriend in hopes to hear her voice one last time.

 The phone stops ringing shortly after, you barely notice. You didn't think she would pick up since it’s about 2 in the morning but she did.

“Hello?” She says. You can hear the tiredness and confusion in her voice. If it wasn't for the pain that filled your body, you might have felt bad about waking her up. “Hey,” you greet, as cheerfully as you can sound. It only dawns on you now how painful this is. 

Natasha sits up right away at the sound of your voice. The mission was non-contact so she was surprised that you were calling her. “Baby is that you? Is everything okay? How's the mission?.” You could hear how desperate she sounded.

“I just wanted to call, see how everything is, I miss you,” you respond, purposely ignoring her questions. It was hard for you to lie to her.

“I miss you too,” she sighs. “But you’re back tomorrow, right?”

You bite your lip to hide a whimper, another gush of blood stains your shirt. “Sorry, I still have a few things to tie up.” You were dying. “I think it will be a few more days.”

You knew Natasha was frowning, it made your heart clench She hated when you went away no matter how short. The mission was only supposed to last a few days and you should be coming home tomorrow if it wasn’t for the complication you faced. “So how’s everything back home?” You ask, just wanting her to hear her speak.

“Same shit as always. Training, paperwork, but I talked to Wanda and…” she continues on. For a second you bring the phone away from your ear to adjust the sweater that is wrapped around your body. It failed to compress the wound so you tightened it further with a grunt.

When you brought the phone back to your ear you heard her still rambling, something about a party. “Is everything okay?” She asks, her voice going from happy to concern in an instant. She must've heard you.

“Yeah, just stubbed my toe, hurts like a bitch,” you laugh. “ Anyway, what was that about a party?”

“Well Tony is holding something to launch his new products and he wants everyone there,” she explains, making it sound worse than it really is. “We should go.”

You feel yourself smile a little, “are you asking me out?” You tease, but feel yourself getting weaker right after. Even though it's the middle of summer, you feel so cold. You’d much rather be in her arms right now.

“Shut up, never mind.” You can visualize her rolling her eyes, wishing you were in bed next to her. “So are you coming with me?” she asks after a pause

You space out, her voice almost sounds like it's underwater. The only thing bringing you back is another sharp sting that felt like getting stabbed all over again. 

“lyubov? You there?” 

“Yeah I'm just tired, of course I’ll go with you,” you say. It would be a little far to say you’d rather die than go, but I guess that's the reality. “Why don't you go to sleep?” She suggested. “You have more stuff to do tomorrow, I don't want you doing it exhausted.” 

“Okay,” you mumble, fighting your eyes awake as black dots start to show up in your vision.  “I’ll see you soon. be safe, okay?”

“Yeah,” you pause for a second, thinking about what final words to say to her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she responds with a smile. 

Your hands drop to your sides, letting your phone hit the ground as tears swell up in your eyes. You’re not afraid of dying, it was saying goodbye that was hard. You didn't have to think about it for too long though, your head started to go blank and all your pain numbed. 

You must have forgotten to hang up the phone because right before everything ends, you hear your girlfriend say her last words to you. “Goodnight, love.”