#tomorrow i get 2 wraps again instead of just one and something else

[shellshocklove]

lover, lover, lover | joel miller

pairing/AU: 70s!pornstar!joel miller x inexperienced!female reader

summary: after blurring the lines with your boss and pornstar joel in pismo beach, what happens when you come back home to LA?

warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! reader is 23, joel is in his early 30s, accuracies and inaccuracies about the 70s and the porn industry, smoking of cigarettes (it's the 70s alright), misogyny (bc of the times™), swearing, use of pet names, oral (f+m receiving), use of sextoys, handjob, praise kink, soft!dom joel but also a hint of sub!joel, porn, degradation, no use of y/n

a/n: this is the part 2 to this fic. you should read the part 1 first or this will make no sense lmao. i know it's been months since i posted that one and i've gone back and forth a lot on if i was gonna write a second part, but here it is <3 again i wanna give a big thank you to my beloved @dustydaddyyy for encouraging me every step of the way, listening to me when i feel lost, and for reading through everything. i love you babes!!! <3

main masterlist / ao3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.

You jolted awake.

With a groan and a confusing squint, you sat up on your elbow. The back of your hand rubbed roughly at your eye as you looked around your darkened bedroom. The fan on your dresser huffed and swirled, blowing cool air in your direction with every pass – blowing away the memories of your dream.

You turned around to lay down again when you heard it. A distant sound of your phone ringing in your hallway. You let out another groan as you scooted out of bed, your nighty falling around your knees as your feet met the carpet floor. Shuffling down the hall you muttered a quiet “I’m coming, calm down,” to the phone.

You lifted the phone of the hook with a quiet, “Hello.”

“Did I wake ya, sweet girl?” the static voice answered.

“Joel, what time is it?” you sighed into the phone, your arm hitting the cool wall as you leaned against it.

“Um…” he started, probably checking his watch, “02.05.”

“Yes, you woke me up…” you told him, eyes tired and falling shut before blinking open in quiet panic, “Wait– did something happen? Why are you calling so late?” Fear squeezed around your heart, wrapping its cold hands around it as flashes of Joel getting arrested, or kidnapped… or something worse, played like a movie in your head.

“No,” he laughed, “No, sweetheart! I just couldn’t sleep.”

“So, you decided to wake me instead? You are aware we have a meeting with VCA tomorrow at 9am? I told you that didn’t I?” Two fingers pinched the bridge of your nose – trying to squeeze the sleep away.

You usually never forgot any of Joel’s meetings or commitments, and you prided yourself in staying on top of his schedule. You could swear you told him about the meeting the other day on the way back from Pismo Beach.

Pismo Beach.

You hadn’t seen him since you dropped him off. Two days had passed. Two days since… Since you’d had sex with Joel. Two days since he told you he wanted you to be his. Was Joel your boyfriend now? You couldn’t tell.

“Yeah, you did, you’re a good assistant,” he said, the smile evident in his voice.

The praise wrapped itself around your heart like a pink cloud of love – it made you smile.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your quiet voice making him chuckle down the other end.

You waited for his chuckle to die before you asked him, “Um… was there anything else?”

“You tired of me already, sweetheart?” he teased.

“No, never,” you shook your head, “it’s just late.”

“I know, I’m sorry baby,” the way he said it, he left the words hanging in the air.

A second passed in silence, and then another. You waited for him to say something else, but when the words never came you spoke, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Can I come over?” he almost cut you off, his words hanging at the end of your own like a teenager on a skateboard gripping tightly to the back of a bus.

“Tonight?” you asked, front teeth digging into your bottom lip.

“Yeah, now,” he clarified, “my car’s fixed– I can be there in probably… thirty minutes?”

“Ehm…” your head bumped against the wall. Thirty minutes? It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see Joel – you did – but it was so late, and you had to get up so early tomorrow.

“Maybe twenty if I speed,” he laughed.

“Joel,” you chided, a smiled tugged at your lips.

“Okay, thirty,” he relented.

You pushed off the wall, a finger curling around the phone cord. “If I say yes you have to be sneaky– and quiet. My landlord doesn’t allow boys to visit.”

“Good thing I ain’t a boy then, sweetheart.”

You snorted, teeth digging into your lip to kill a smile from blooming, “I’m serious, Joel! A girl got evicted last month because she got caught having her boyfriend over.”

“How’s that even legal?” his static voice wondered.

“I don’t know Joel, my landlord… she’s this old lady– super religious and she owns the whole complex– I think she inherited it from her late husband who was a developer or something. Anyway, every time I bump into her, she always questions me about if I have a boyfriend and then gives me this speech about how premarital sex is a sin, and how I’ll go to hell–”

“Shit, baby– move out,” Joel cut you off.

“I can’t,” you sighed, “It was the only place I could afford when I moved here.”

“Ain’t I payin’ you enough?” he teased, “I’ll talk to Ronald about a raise f’you want.”

You let out a chuckle, “I’m not sure it’s appropriate– or professional, to talk about this now, Joel.”

“Alright, baby– always so professional,” he playfully chided, “we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

You let out a hum, though a small knot tied itself in your stomach at the thought. You didn’t want Joel to get the wrong impression; that you wanted a raise now that you’d let him fuck you.

“See ya in 30?” he said, breaking the static silence, “I’ll be real sneaky.”

“Ok,” you said softly.

You told him your address, making him repeat your apartment number back to you before you hung up. You didn’t want him accidently knocking on the wrong door, and getting you evicted.

Padding back into your bedroom, you grabbed your silk robe hanging off the door. You twisted it around yourself while you turned on the lamp over your bedside table. The light bathed your room in a soft glow. You were starting to wake up a little now. Leaving your bedroom door ajar you walked back down your hallway with soft steps. Stepping into the kitchen, you grabbed a mug from your cupboard, busying yourself with making a cup of tea as you waited for Joel.

Thirty minutes later, you heard the buzz of your doorbell. Abandoning your cup on your kitchen table, you quickly hurried to your door, buzzing him in. Your heart hammered in your chest. The risk of getting caught so late on a Sunday night was low, but you could never be too careful. You waited for him in your doorway, your finger picking at your nail bed as you looked out for him to round the corner.

You breathed out a relieved sigh when you saw him, a smile widening across your face as he picked up his pace in a small jog. His grin was wide as well, all teeth and crinkles as he closed the space between you. With a small glance over his shoulder, he made sure he hadn’t been caught as you ushered him inside.

The light in your hallway was low, tinting everything in a warm yellow hue. His hands were on you in an instant, strong hands gliding over your waist from behind as you locked your door. In the next moment you felt his chest press against your back, locking you to his body in an engulfing hug. His nose dragged down the column of your neck, pressing sweet kisses into your skin.

“Hi,” he mumbled.

Leaning into his touch you hummed out a greeting. His grip tightened around you before he turned you around in his hands, your hands automatically wrapping themselves around his neck. God, he was handsome. Soft brown eyes shining under the soft light, you watched as they took you in, traveling down your bare face, down to your silk robe hiding your nighty. A sting of embarrassment panged in your chest under his gaze, maybe you should’ve changed into something else, something a little sexier. Then you realized what kind of sexy he was used to, sheer lingerie, stockings, garter belts and high heels, not whatever underwear you were hiding away in your drawers.

“Shit,” he whispered, eyes blown wide in the low light, “let me kiss you properly, sweetheart.”

His big palm cupped your cheek, bringing you closer before he brushed his lips over yours. He tasted like a mix of his last cigarette and beer. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed his touch, his lips against yours. Joel hummed into the kiss, nose bumping into yours as he held you close, thumb ghosting over your skin. The kiss was quick, but still tender, and when you broke apart, the embarrassment from earlier had faded.

“Missed your lips baby,” he whispered against them, emphasizing his words with another peck.

“You did?” your voice was breathless, eyes half lidded from his affection.

He didn’t answer, only catching your lips in another mind-blowing kiss. His hand not on your cheek traveled from your waist to the curve of your ass, where it squeezed. You jumped a little from his touch, breaking his kiss. Immediately Joel removed his hands, catching himself as he took a step back.

“No?” he asked, eyes searching yours.

A flood of warmth filled your chest, “No, it’s okay– it’s just… late.”

His eyes softened at your words, his palm finding your cheek again to softly rub his thumb over your skin, “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay…” you trailed off, your hand grabbing his other hand to intertwine your fingers, “Let’s go to bed?”

With his hand in yours Joel trailed after you down the hallway.

“The bathroom is just in here if you wanna use it?” you stopped at the end of your hallway, pointing to your closed bathroom door. Joel gave you a short nod and a smile, and let go of your hand, but not before giving it a little squeeze.

You stepped backwards to push open your bedroom door while he vanished to your bathroom. The alarm clock on your bedside table showed 3.08 in big red letters when your eyes flickered to it as you pulled at the strings of your silk robe. You twisted out of it and hung it back on the hook on your door, before you climbed back into your bed, waiting for Joel.

He walked into your room a few minutes later. You watched him from under the covers, eyes hooded with tiredness as he shed his clothes. Naked, safe for his briefs, he haphazardly folded his clothes, eyes flitting around your room for a place to put them.

“You can just leave them on the dresser,” you said, all cozy under the covers.

Sending you a small nod he sauntered over to your dresser with his clothes half-folded in his hand, where he placed them down gently. He stood there for a moment longer with his back turned, something catching his eye.

“So,” he spoke up, “what’s the review?”

“Huh?” You were confused.

You watched how his shoulders shook, grabbing something off your dresser before turning around, hiding it behind his back as he closed the space between you. You were still confused, a furrow pulling at your eyebrows.

“What d’ya prefer? This,” he started, revealing what he was hiding behind his back, “Or the real thing?”

In his hand he held the box with the dildo he’d modeled for. You’d forgotten all about it in your back seat while you were in Pismo Beach, only noticing it again as you’d parked outside your apartment. You had been meaning to give it back to Joel, didn’t take his ‘joke’ of you keeping it at face value, but then you’d forgotten all about it, leaving you with no choice other than to bring it inside.

“Joel,” you felt a flash of heat burn your cheeks.

“What? I wanna know,” he grinned, fingers fiddling with the cardboard to open it.

You gave him a chastising kick from under the covers, trying to shut the conversation down, but it only made him huff out a laugh.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried it,” you said truthfully. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind.

“What? Not even once,” his eyebrows knitted together, he almost looked disappointed.

You shook your head, “I was gonna give it back to you when I dropped you off on Friday, but it slipped my mind.”

“Why? I gave it to you,” he pulled the dildo out, the supposed perfect recreation of his package.

“Joel, you couldn’t have been serious about that?” you breathed out a laugh. It was hard to take him seriously with the toy in his hand.

“Well, now I’m a little disappointed, sweetheart,” he placed the box and the dildo on your bedside table, next to your alarm clock, “I really wanted to know your thoughts.”

He crept up the bed as you shifted over to make space, holding open the duvet for him to slip under.

“I’m sorry, Joel– I just didn’t think you were serious about that… and,” you trailed off when he wrapped his strong arms around your body, twisting around in his arms as he pulled you close against him.

“And, what?” he said, his breath huffing against the shell of your ear.

“I… uh, I haven’t… since,” you didn’t know how to say it.

But Joel knew, pulling you closer to rock his hips against your ass, “Haven’t what, sweetheart? Touched yourself?”

He wasn’t hard, but he wasn’t not hard – you could feel the semi he was sporting against your backside. It made you lose your trail of thought, as memories of the last time he held you against his body like this, filled your mind.

You had enough sense to shake your head, not trusting your voice to come out as words and not a strangled moan.

“No?” he teased with another rock of his hips, “Well, I have, sweetheart– touched myself thinkin’ of you.”

“Joel,” you couldn’t fight the whine from escaping as he rocked his hips against you again, his big hand slipping under your nighty.

“Touched myself thinkin’ about this beautiful fuckin’ body of yours,” his hand splayed over your tummy, traveling upwards to grab at your breast. “Thought about these pretty tits,” his voice got lower, whispering in your ear as he flicked a finger over your nipple, making you sigh. He let go of your breast, hand gliding down your body to ghost over the hem of your panties, “And this tight little pussy,” he finished.

“Joel,” you sighed, body reacting automatically to his touch. His breath in your ear sent goosebumps down the whole of your body, and a whine fell from your lips as he palmed your heat over your panties, feeling your arousal starting to soak the cotton.

“Yes, sweetheart, say my name as I touch your pussy. Tell me who’s makin’ you feel good.”

Fuck, it took all your strength to gather your thoughts, “Joel, it’s–” you let out a gasp as his fingers found your clit.

“What, baby?”

“It’s– It’s late,” you managed to breathe out.

And just like that, the spell was broken. His hand slipped from your cunt to rest over your waist. You twisted around to face him, a pang of guilt filling your chest.

“I’m s-sorry, I just–”

He cut you off by pressing his lips against yours in a quick kiss. “Don’t you apologize to me,” he said, eyes boring into yours, “If you ain’t feelin’ it, I ain’t feelin’ it, okay?”

You felt yourself nod, your chest filling with gratefulness. You wanted Joel so much, you did, you wanted him to feel good, but you didn’t want it at 3am when you had to wake up in four hours.

“Thank you,” you whispered gratefully, your forehead falling against his.

He shifted his face, cheek brushing against your forehead until you felt him press a kiss to your skin. “Nothin’ to thank me for, my sweet girl.”

You shifted closer to him, cheek boring into his naked chest, “It’s not that I don’t want to,” you told him, “I’m just so tired.”

Pulling you closer to his body, Joel wrapped his strong arms around you, “’s okay, baby, you just close your pretty eyes, okay?”

You nodded against his head before you whispered, “Good night, Joel.”

“Night, sweet girl.”

“Hey,” you felt a nudge in your side pull you from your dream, “How d’you turn off this thing?”

Then you heard it. Your alarm. The beeping was loud and obnoxious, but it did the job to wake you, usually.

With heavy limbs you sat up on your elbow, goosebumps spreading over the newly exposed skin as you leaned over Joel’s body to press the snooze button. His big hands found your waist when you leaned back, guiding you to straddle his body.

His lips found yours in a soft kiss, then another before he mumbled, “Good mornin’,” against your lips.

He didn’t give you the chance to reply as he pulled you into yet another kiss. It took you by surprise, your hand coming up to press into the pillow next to his head, to hold your weight. Under the duvet you felt his hand travel down your body, slipping under the hem of your nighty and dragging upwards, cupping your ass as he pulled the fabric with him. His touch ignited something in you, making you whimper against his lips.

“There she is,” he whispered, pulling away from your lips with a loud smack to press kisses along your jaw. It made you sigh, your body going lax in his arms as he pulled you closer, mind going blank from his loving. Then he suddenly tightened his arms around your body, his strong hand splaying over your back as he flipped you around to lay on your back beneath him. A small yelp fell from your lips at the sudden movement, the yelp turning into a giggle when he dived into the crook of your neck, his mustache tickling you as he pressed small kisses against your skin.

With a hasty hand he balled the fabric of your nighty in his hands, pushing it up your body to reveal your naked body to him. He sucked a breath through his teeth at the sight, eyes hungry with lust as they raked over your form.

“Need to fuckin’ taste you, sweetheart.” His voice was a low rasp, coated in residual sleep and arousal, “Been thinkin’ about how sweet you taste this whole weekend.”

You couldn’t hold back the whine at the back of your throat at his words, hips bucking by their own accord where he had your legs splayed open over his thighs. Arousal spread like electricity through your body, where it pooled like dripping honey in your tummy.

“Please,” you begged when his fingers found the hem of your panties, his pointer finger dipping beneath the band to run it across your skin.

“Yeah?” he coaxed, “Want me to eat your little pussy, sweet girl?” his finger stretched at the elastic, letting it slap against your skin as he pulled away. Under him you whined, frantic hands finding the back of his neck to pull him closer to you. In your hurry to kiss him, you missed his mouth, clumsily bumping your nose into his instead.

It made him breathe out a shallow chuckle, “Okay, baby, okay. I’ll take care of ya.”

He pulled back from you, your hands around his neck falling to your sides, and softly hitting your mattress. Grabbing at the soft flesh at the back of your thighs, he spread them wider, putting your covered cunt on display for him. His eyes drank in your body, studied how soft and pliant you’d gone from his touch.

You watched his face, his eyes, his lip twitching with a wicked smile when you jumped under his finger, starting to press slow circles down on your covered clit. He dipped his finger lower, caressing your folds over the fabric before he pressed two fingers into your covered hole as far as your panties allowed. You could feel how soaked you already were, your dripping cunt fluttering around nothing when he pulled back.

“Let’s get you out of these, huh?” he said, voice dripping with pity, “My sweet girl’s just beggin’ to be touched, ain’t she?”

To your own surprise you managed to peep out an answer, “Yes.” Your voice came out strangled and begging, your mind clouded over with Joel.

“Yes, that’s right, baby, you’re such a good girl, let me hear you.” He hooked his finger under the elastic, tapping your ass lightly. You lifted up off the mattress, helping him drag your soaked panties down your legs.

Under him you felt your mouth drop open slightly, watching him as he clasped your panties in his hand, his thumb rubbing at the wetness with a cocky smile tugging at the corner of his lips. With his thumb coated in you, he dropped your panties, losing them in the sheets as he brought his attention back on you.

His eyes bored into yours as he lowered himself between your legs pressing soft kisses against your inner thigh. His big hands splayed over the back of your legs, pushing them closer to your chest to putt your naked and dripping cunt back on display. You held your breath as you waited for him to finally touch you where you wanted, but then he hesitated. The air was charged with arousal, his breath fanning over your throbbing clit. A thought of how you might die if he didn’t touch you soon, crossed your mind.

With a desperate whine, your hand tangled in his hair. You didn’t know what to do, so you begged, “Please, Joel?”

His eyes found yours immediately, where he saw how much you needed him, but he needed it in words, “Y’want me to touch you, sweetheart? To eat your pussy?”

“Yes,” the words fell from your lips so fast you almost cut him off, “Please,” you added for good measure.

Your consent was all he wanted. He dipped his head to lick ever so gently at your clit, making you mewl under him, a needy desperate sound, begging for more. When he wrapped his lips around your clit, and sucked, that’s when you turned into a withering moaning mess under him, hips bucking into his mouth, chasing more of the pleasure he was giving you.

Joel hummed against you, the bass of his voice vibrating against your most sensitive spot, pulling you deeper under the blanket of pleasure.

When his hand loosened its grip around the back of your thigh to caress your folds, a moan got caught in your throat. “P-please” you stuttered, dying to have his fingers split you open and coaxing you towards your release.

But Joel removed his fingers, continuing to explore you with his tongue instead. He dipped down, tongue lapping at your folds, tasting your arousal like he told you’d he’d been dying to. With one fat lick up the length of your pussy he took your clit back in his mouth, going back to lapping and circling it just right, coaxing you closer and closer.

“Fuck.”

You were hauling quickly towards your orgasm. Your eyebrows twisted together in a tight frown, fingers gripping and tugging at his hair, your leg close to shaking with the intensity. You were right there on the edge.

Then he abruptly pulled away. The disappointing mewl escaped you on instinct, and Joel laughed. Laughed. Your heart twisted in on itself at the sound.

“W-what?” you muttered, confusion painting your features when he sat up.

Joel grinned down at you, a mischievous glint in his eye as he leaned down to your face and cupped your chin, his thumb rubbing your skin with tenderness.

“Want you to be good f’me, sweet girl, can you do that?”

Your head moved in his hand, a timid nod as you searched his face. “I–I can be good.”

His grin widened, all teeth and crinkles around his eyes. He squeezed your cheeks together lightly, a small pout forming to kiss away.

“Good girl.”

His mustache tickled your cupid’s bow, and you could taste yourself on his tongue, taste how desperate for him you were.

He left you breathless when he pulled away, your body all loose and pliant from his touch, not registering what he was doing until he was back to sitting between your legs. Your eyes raked over his body, his broad shoulders, trailing his happy trail down his torso to his waist, noticing the shape of his hard cock in his briefs, a wet spot staining them where the head was.

Fuck, you wanted him inside you.

Then you noticed his hands, and what he was in them. The dildo, of him. You shifted up the bed in surprise. Your nighty fell down over your chest as you sat up on your elbows, watching him with wide eyes.

He watched you too, turning the dildo in his hand to nudge at your entrance as he leaned forward to hover over your body, a big hand on your chest pushing you down.

“Are you gonna be good?” 

“Joel,” you gasped, feeling your hole flutter in anticipation.

“Are you?” he pressed, rubbing the silicone head slowly up and down your folds, coating it in your arousal.

“Y-yeah, y-yes,” you nodded, face heating from the obscene slick sounds of your arousal.

With a wicked grin, his eyes flicked back to your aching cunt, before he pushed the head inside slowly, feeding your more and more until the dildo was buried inside you. A broken moan fell from your lips, mouth dropping open from the pleasure of being stretched.

“There you go, sweetheart. ‘s big stretch, isn’t it? Doing so good for me, my good girl, honey, my good fuckin’ girl.”

He pushed the toy in and out in shallow thrusts, working you open around the fake cock. It wasn’t the same, but still the stretch was divine. With his eyes glued to your cunt he pulled the dildo all the way out, only the head notched at your entrance, before slowly thrusting in all the way. You whimpered when you felt him nudge at your spot inside, your hand desperately grabbing for his other arm to anchor you from falling over the edge too soon.

“Joel,” you whimpered, “P-please, t-touch m-my–”

Joel picked up his pace, fucking you faster and deeper with the dildo, the obscene squelching sounds of your cunt filled the air between your moans. His grip tightened in your hand, guiding it to hover over your clit.

“Touch your what, honey?” He teased, pressing your fingers down, guiding them in tight circles.

“Ah– fuck,” you whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as you felt the coil in your tummy tighten, and tighten, and tighten.

Then it all became too much. With a broken cry you came, squeezing hard around the fake cock. Joel continued fucking you, a small gush of liquid pouring down over the toy with each thrust, as you pulsed and squirmed around it.

Catching your breath, you came down from your high, while small jolts of pleasure crashed over you, making your legs shake like a leaf in a storm. It was like your ears were ringing, before you realized they were actually ringing.

“This fuckin’ alarm,” Joel muttered, hovering over you to turn it off.

His voice brought you back to earth, as you turned your head to look at the time. Shit, you were gonna be late!

With shaky hands you glided your hand down your cunt to grab at the base of the toy still inside you, “Joel, we’re gonna be late for your meeting,” you murmured, slipping the dildo from your cunt. Everything was sticky and messy between your legs, a big wet stain growing under your ass.

Joel pushed your hand away, like he was scolding you for touching what was his. “We can be a little late, sweetheart,” he said calmly, before ducking down to press a kiss to your clit.

You shifted up the bed, away from his touch, anxiety an endless spiral in your tummy. “No, we can’t, Joel– They told me it’s a pitch for a new movie, you’ll miss out on a big opportunity if you don’t show.”

Between your legs, Joel’s head dropped to your chest, as a pained sigh left his lungs. He went quiet for a beat as you watched the messy curls at the top of his head, then he lifted his head to look at you, “Okay, then.”

You felt bad leaving him hanging as you both got out of bed, his rock-hard cock strained desperately against the fabric of his briefs – just dying to be touched.

“Joel, I-I’m sorry,” you closed the space between you, snaking your arms around him.

“Sweetheart, ya need to stop apologizin’”, he placed a dry kiss to the top of your head, steady hands finding your waist. Your heart swelled in your chest. He made you feel so safe.

You almost muttered another ‘I’m sorry’, before catching yourself, “Okay,” you nodded against his chest. You basked in his touch for another minute, his strong arms around you, breathing in the comforting scent of him – the intoxicating mix of his faded cologne, cigarettes and sex.

“You were enjoyin’ it though, weren’t you?” Joel asked as he pulled away. You could see the cheeky smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he looked down at you, “So tell me, sweetheart... it better’n the real thing?”

“No,” you said, your own teasing smile tickling your lips as you detangled yourself from him, and turned around to head towards the bathroom, “Real thing’s better.”

Suddenly you felt his hands on your hips, and then Joel was pulling you back against him. He pressed himself against you so you could feel how hard he still was, his aching cock barely contained by his briefs.

“Attagirl,” he half-whispered, half-groaned into your ear, breath fanning over your neck and making you shiver. 

“I need a shower,” you said with a giggle, stepping away from him before turning around again, only for Joel to pull you close once more. He found your eyes, his hands barely loosening their grip on your body. You could still feel him against you, his hard cock now pressed against your stomach. “Do you… maybe,” you bit down on your bottom lip, wide eyes searching his face.

“Wanna shower with you?” he helped you with a grin, and you nodded.

Your shower was cramped, too small to fit two people, and even though you had been the one to ask, you still felt nervous under the streaming water. He looked so good; your eyes couldn’t help but trail the water droplets racing down his thick muscles. He watched you too, but more openly, his eyes not afraid to trail down your body – to glide over your tits, down your back, and over the curve of your ass.

And then there was his cock, still hard and leaking, making its presence known between you like a third person. What made it worse was that he didn’t even acknowledge it, just went about washing his body like nothing, pushing back his wet curls as he rinsed your shampoo from his hair.

Did he want you to say something? The thought fluttered in your stomach.

“Um, Joel?” your voice echoed against the tiles.

You watched as he tipped his head forward from under the showerhead, eyes blinking at you as soapsuds hit his broad shoulders and ran down his chest.

“You know– um… I can–”

Jesus Christ! Could you be less sexy.

When he didn’t say anything, you breathed out a nervous sigh, eyes flitting down to his cock, hoping he would take the hint.

And he did.

“You wanna touch my cock, sweet girl?” His whole demeanor shifted.

“Would that– would that be okay?” you said, your teeth catching on your bottom lip.

“More than okay, sweetheart,” he said, with a devilish grin.

You took a few steps closer, a shaky hand landing on his waist while the other hovered between your bodies, right above where his heavy cock twitched in anticipation.

You didn’t know what to do. Well, you did. You’d seen it enough times at work to know, but you’d never actually done it before. Another reminder of just how inexperienced you were when it came to all of this. You looked at him with uncertainty, for guidance, and without uttering a single word, Joel knew what you were asking.

He curled his fingers around your wrist, bringing it up to his face, and spat. Using that tender grip he guided your hand down between your bodies again – the back of your hand brushed against the rough hair of his happy trail – and down to the base of his aching cock.

“There ya go,” he whispered as your fingers wrapped around him, Joel’s spit smearing over his shaft as you moved upwards in an experimenting stroke, “Good girl, just like that,” he hissed through his teeth.

You tilted your head to watch his face. Watched how his eyes were so fixated on your hand wrapped around him as you began to slowly stroke his cock, familiarizing yourself with the weight and feel of him in your hand. You didn’t miss the way his breathing shifted, releasing a sound you’d never heard come from his lips before. A whimper.

“Am–am I doing okay?” you asked, your eyes following his down to your hand wrapped around him. He was so big in your hand, your fingers struggling to meet around the girth of him.

He hissed out a strained laugh. “Yeah, baby, you’re doing so good– massage the head for me a little,” Joel groaned.

You did as you were told, bringing your hand up to the tip with a tug, squeezing out a pearl of precum. It dripped down over your hand, your thumb skating over the sensitive head, and smearing it all over.

“Shit,” Joel hissed, “keep doin’ that, sweetheart, bein’ so good f’me,” he praised, encouraging you.

You’d never seen Joel like this before. So at your mercy– at anyone’s mercy – always the one to take charge. But now he was falling apart from your touch. He encouraged you further as his breath got heavier. You sped up the strokes over his cock, and his body slumped into yours, face buried in the crook of your neck, as he whispered breathy babblings of praise into your skin. A glowing feeling of pride grew in your chest as you brought him closer and closer to his release.

“I’m close, baby,” he whimpered in your ear, “don’t fuckin’ stop.”

So you didn’t.

With your hand tight around his cock, you quickened your pace, tracing your thumb over his slit just like he’d told you to do earlier. A slick noise of spit and precum echoed against your bathroom tiles. His thighs tensed, his hand grabbed at your waist to pin you to his body, and you knew he was right on the edge.

“Fuck, I’m comin’.”

With a string of praising curses, he came apart in your hand. His thighs clenched, his heavy balls tightening as cum spurted from his tip in ribbons over your hand. The bass of his voice vibrated against your skin, as you continued working him through his high, slicking up your hand and fingers even more.

You squeezed him until there was only a small dribble pearling at his tip. A white stream of cum ran down his cock and down to his balls, dripping down onto the tiles of your shower floor. And then it was too much, and Joel hissed, lifting his head from the crook of your neck to dab your hand away.

He didn’t say anything, only grabbing your face with both hands, crashing his lips against yours in a desperate kiss. With your hand messy from his release, you didn’t know where to touch him, opting to grab at his elbow with your other hand to steady yourself.

Out in the hallway, your phone rang, forcing you to breathlessly pull away. With a sorry smile, you ran your messy hand under the showerhead before quickly pulling at the shower curtain.

The phone rang loudly as you tiptoed down the hallway. Water droplets ran down your skin, leaving a trail of dark spots on the carpet. Your hand clung to the towel you’d wrapped around yourself while the other hurried to answer the phone.

“Hello?” you sang.

“Hi, sweetie, it’s your uncle,” a gruff voice answered.

“Oh, hi,” you said, leaning against the wall.

Down the hall your bathroom door opened, steam framing Joel’s body as he stepped out naked as the day he was born, with a towel resting over his shoulders. His heavy cock soft between his strong thighs– it was like a scene straight out of a porno, one he’d probably starred in. He caught your eye, and smiled, making his way towards you as he brought the towel up to dry his hair, his biceps flexing with the effort.

“What was that?” you stuttered, completely missing what your uncle had said on the other end.

“Almost hung up on ya, I said,” your uncle repeated.

“Sorry, I was just getting out of the shower.”

“I was just calling to say I’m driving a Corvette down to LA in a couple of days for a client. Was thinking I’d take you out to dinner– catch up– make sure you’re not getting up to any trouble down there,” he laughed.

His tone was lighthearted, but you couldn’t help but cringe. The trouble in question reaching his hand out to trace a drop trailing down your exposed collarbone, ducking down to place a teasing kiss to your skin.

“D-dinner sounds nice,” you managed to choke out, “Um, I know a nice Italian place down in Santa Monica.”

“Sounds great, sweetie! I’ll call ya after I’ve dropped off the car Thursday afternoon,” your uncle’s static voice replied.

“Thursday afternoon,” you repeated, “Ok, see you then!”

“So…” Joel started, his arms snaking their way around your form. “I ain’t the only man who wants a piece of ya,” he joked, after you’d hung up the phone,

“That was my uncle, Joel,” you let him know, your body melting against his touch.

“He’s takin’ you to dinner?” he queried.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “he’s driving a car down here for work, so he wanted to see me.”

Joel hummed, dropping his head to brush his lips over yours as his hand splayed over your waist slid down to the curve of your ass.

“Nonono,” you chuckled, pulling away, “Joel, we’re already late as is!”

“So what,” Joel groaned, pulling you back for another kiss, hands tightening their grip on your ass, before trailing soft kisses to the corner of your mouth, “We could stay in ya know... enjoy the real thing.”

Joel’s kisses continued along the line of your jaw, teeth grazing your skin.

“As tempting as that sounds,” you let out through a small groan as you felt his tongue tickle that spot under your jaw, “We can’t cancel this meeting.”

Joel’s lips stopped their descent towards your neck, and he took a breath, the force of it tickling your skin, before he lifted his head, lips grazing across your jaw as he kissed the corner of your mouth again.

“Later,” you promise him, eyes looking into his. Joel’s smile was wistful, another small sigh escaping through his nostrils before he brushed his lips over yours.

“Later.”

“Let’s get started? Or do we want some coffees before we start?” Ronald asked from his seat at the head of the table.

You were seated in a chair in the corner, the cigarette smoke hung low over the room. In your lap your notebook rested, cracked spine opened to a random blank page while your fingers fiddled with your pen.

All the big important men from VCA were here, eager to finally work with the infamous Joel Packer on their new big-budget project. The last couple of years had been big for Joel, multiple magazine photoshoots, longer features and obviously modeling for a sextoy, but this film would be his biggest opportunity. It would bring in a lot of money, and Ronald knew it. He couldn’t hide the dollar signs in his eyes behind his ‘friendly’ grin.

“Ey, sweetheart!” Ronald raised his voice. You lifted your gaze from your notebook, curious as to what he was yelling about.

“Yeah, you!” He looked straight at you, a hand waving you towards him. Did he forget your name? You wouldn’t put it past him.

Leaving your notebook and pen in your chair you walked over to him, hands wringing behind your back as you stood behind Joel where he sat to Ronald’s right. He looked at you with impatience, a crude finger motioning you closer.

“Why don’t you go get us all some coffees, sweetie?” he spat out the order, his sour breath hitting you in your face.

“Um, uh,” you looked to Joel for help. This wasn’t your job; this was a job for an intern. It was important for you to be here, to take notes, to know what arrangements needed to be done, and which people to call.

“Um, uh,” Ronald parroted, “just do it– isn’t it what I’m paying you for?”

It wasn’t, but now everyone was looking at you. Everyone except for Joel. His gaze bored into the teak in front of him, fingers tightly pinched around a cigarette. With no help from Joel, you held your tongue and muttered a “Yes, sir,” to Ronald before you turned on heels.

“Alright! I wanna start by introducing Cheryl here, making her film debut alongside Joel–” you heard Ronald start as you slipped through the door of the meeting room.

Outside the meeting room, you were met with a brown hallway, identical to the left and right. Wood paneling clad the walls, and you couldn’t help your eyes from peeking through the glass partition walls of other meeting rooms as you made your way down the hall. Everything looked the same. You turned a corner, and you swore you’d been there before. After walking for what felt like a small eternity, you made it to a break room with a small kitchenette.

The coffee in the pot looked old and stale, and you poured it out in the sink. As you waited for the fresh pot to brew you searched through the cupboards for a coffee carafe. The cupboards of the kitchenette were pretty empty, only filled with mugs and drinking glasses. With a sigh you kneeled to look through the cabinet below the sink.  You tried your best to be fast, not wanting to miss anything important. Finally, you found what you were looking for. With fresh coffee in one hand, and paper cups in the other, you made your way back down a hallway you hoped would bring you back to the meeting.

A couple of wrong turns later you let out a sigh of relief as you peaked Joel through the glass partition wall of the meeting room. This better be good enough for Ronald, you thought as you opened the door, not bothering to knock.

“And I think that’s about it,” one of the men opposite Joel said as you placed the coffee and paper cups on the table, “We’ll break for lunch and go ahead with the chemistry test later today.”

Did you really just miss the whole meeting?

“Sounds great,” Ronald said, pushing his chair out, and standing to his feet to shake the hands of the men from VCA. Then the rest of the room came alive as people got up from their seats and gathering their things. In front of you a chair bumped into you, pushing you a little off balance.

“Oh! Sorry– didn’t see you there.”

It was Cheryl, Joel’s new co-star. She was young, just turned twenty-one if you remembered correctly, and gorgeous. Her blonde hair, curled to perfection, cascaded down her back. Her light blue dress clung tightly to her body, accentuating her curves while the deep v-neck showed off her cleavage.

You shook your head and put on a smile, muttering an “It’s okay,” as you stepped out of her way, and shifted closer to Joel. He was busy gathering the papers spread out in front of him on the table, tapping them lightly against the teak before gathering them in his hands, turning towards you and Cheryl.

When you didn’t make a move to leave, Cheryl cleared her throat, widening her eyes at Joel as they flickered towards you. Your heart sunk in your chest. It didn’t take a genius to take her hint – you knew when you weren’t wanted.

“I’ll uh… I’ll wait for you down in the reception,” you muttered to Joel, “Let me know what you want for lunch, and I’ll get you something.” Before he could say anything, you turned around to leave, grabbing your notebook and pen.

You knew you shouldn’t have looked back as you made your way out the door, but you did. The cold stone in your chest sank lower as you watched them. Cheryl’s body curled towards Joel as they talked, her hand landing on his bicep as she let out a giggly laugh. It made your heart sting, but maybe not as much as the ache of watching Joel’s bright smile, the one he so often gave you.

Over fifteen minutes later, Joel finally walked into the reception where you waited for him. You were hard to miss where you sat on one of the couches, reading a magazine, the only person occupying the space.

“Whatcha readin’?” he asked, slumping down next to you, so close his arm brushed against yours.

You couldn’t watch his bright eyes, and the cheeky smile tugging at his lips. So, you held up one of the porn magazines you’d grabbed off the coffee table, blocking his view of your face, substituting it with the woman adorning the front and posing seductively to the camera, showing off the biggest boobs you’d ever seen.

“Industry news,” you shrugged.

You earned yourself a chuckle, “Anythin’ interestin’?”

“Not really,” you sighed, quickly shutting the magazine, and throwing it haphazardly on the table.

You could feel his warmth beside you, his broad frame, and strong arms. The same arms who’d held you so close this morning. Still, you didn’t look at him, your gaze falling to your fiddling hands in your lap. A piece of skin around your thumb had come loose, and it burned as you pulled at it.

“Um…” you started, still watching your hands, “What’s the plan for lunch? You want me to go down to that deli you like– get you a sandwich?”

Joel’s arm brushed against you as he shifted in his seat, bucking his hips slightly to fish out his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. “Ain’t no need to do that for me, sweetheart,” he said, his voice slightly muffled by the cigarette between his lips.

“Well, it’s kinda my job,” you mumbled, your face pulling up into a slight frown as you ripped the loose skin around your thumb.

“Yeah– but,” Joel drew a breath of his cigarette.

Now you looked at him, eyebrows pulled tight in a real frown, “But what?”

He watched you, eyes dancing over your face as he took another drag, releasing the smoke out the corner of his mouth.

“Nothin’.”

You couldn’t interpret his face with the way he was looking at you, almost as he was searching for something. A silence grew between you – it was ugly and festering, like a canyon had grown between you – it was something you’d never felt with Joel before.

“A sandwich sounds nice,” he finally spoke across the silence, and you nodded.

“Um– can I borrow your car?” you asked, clearing your throat of your anxiety.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” It was like your question had woken him.

Joel had driven you both into work today, your car sitting pretty in its parking space outside your apartment complex. He rested his half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray on the table before he fished his car keys from his jeans pocket and handed them to you.

“They have me set up in a trailer out on the lot next door– I’ll wait for ya there, alright?” The hand handing you his keys locked around yours, caging them between your hands.

You squeezed his hand, the familiar weight of it in your hand, the tenderness in which he held you, made you feel a little better. Shrinking the deep canyon between you to a ravine.

“Um, why exactly?” you asked, eyes glued to your intertwined hands.

“Shit– sorry,” Joel shook his head and shifted closer to you, his knee brushing against yours, “they want me and Cheryl to have a chemistry test before they go ahead with signin’ the contracts. It’s nothin’ big or anythin’– just a blowjob.”

Just a blowjob.

You nodded slowly. It was just a blowjob, but it was a blowjob from Cheryl. Cheryl who was younger with the perfect body. Cheryl who made him smile and laugh. Cheryl who could give him a blowjob, and not some sorry excuse of a handjob.

“Oh, okay,” you peeped, loosening your grip around his hand, clasping the keys in your hand.

You got up from the couch before he could say anything more, “I’ll go get you your lunch then.”

His cigarette resting in the ashtray had burned out, like your conversation with Joel. You bent slightly to grab your purse when his hands clasped around your wrist, bringing your attention back on him.

“’s everythin’ alright?” he asked you as he got up from the couch as well, closing the space between you.

Your lips pulled into a smile, one you hoped was convincing, “Yeah! Why wouldn’t it?”

His other hand came up to cup your cheek gently, shifting your face to look at him. “’s just for work, you know,” he told you.

Your head was nodding even before he’d finished talking, your face still pulled tight in a smile, “Yeah, Joel, I know.”

“Okay,” he whispered and leaned closer. You shifted your face in his palm, his lips hitting your other cheek in a short peck before you were pulling away. His fingers like a bracelet around your wrist, fell heavy to his side.

“See you in a little bit,” you told him before pushing the door to the reception open and stepping outside.

Some forty minutes later you were knocking on a trailer door with the sign ‘Joel Packer’ hanging on the front. In your other hand you were balancing two coffees and a bag with two sandwiches. You knocked again when nothing happened, scared you’d shown up to the wrong trailer for a second, even with the sign telling you, you were in the right place.

“Joel? I have your lunch.”

“Come in,” he answered almost immediately.

You opened the trailer door and stepped inside, careful not to spill the coffees all over the carpeted floor of his trailer as you balanced everything. With the door closed you turned around, eyes scanning the cramped room for Joel.

He was laying on the couch, one hand down the front of his pants where he palmed himself over his briefs – a lazy smile resting over his features as he took you in.

“Oh! Sorry,” you quickly looked away, scurrying to place his food on the nearest table.

Behind you Joel got up from the couch, crossing the small space between you to wrap his arms around your body, and press his front against your ass. You jumped in his grasp, your hands finding his where they rested around your waist.

“Stop apologizin’” he whispered in your ear, his teeth catching on your earlobe, “was just gettin’ ready, baby,” his breath was hot against the column of your neck, and you felt his cock grow against your ass. “Ain’t gonna have any trouble gettin’ hard now though,” he chuckled.

“Joel,” you whined, the sound pathetic at the back of your throat.

“Yes, baby, let me hear ya,” you could feel the bass in his voice vibrate against your skin.

His hands spread over your body, drinking you in with his touch, grabbing at your breast while pressing tender kisses to your neck. You melted against him, body soft and pliant. In an instant you were back in your memories from this morning, and you couldn’t fight the whimper from falling from your lips. With closed eyes your memories mixed with your present. Images of how he’d kissed you, touched you, and taken care of you this morning blended with the firm press of his body against yours and his calloused hands exploring you; like how you could still see your reflection in rippling water.

“Joel,” you tried again.

“I know, my sweet girl,” he cooed.

Behind you he bucked his hips against your ass, the bulge of his hard cock splitting your cheeks. You felt your arousal wet your panties, an ache of anticipation settling in your core.

“Fuck, sweetheart– wish it was you getting on your knees for me later.” He whispered his filthy words in your ear with another buck of his hips. “Wanna feel your tight little throat around my cock as you choke on it.”

His confession made a nervousness intertwine itself with your blinding arousal. You turned around in his arms, your face nuzzled into the dip where his neck met his collarbone, “I-I’ve never done that before.” Your confession was barely a whisper, the words muffled into his skin.

His grip tightened around you, and you felt the way his body moved under your cheek, a comforting hand landed carefully at the back of your neck. His jaw and cheek bumped against the top of your head as he dipped down to your face and his breath changed like he was about to say something, but then was interrupted by a hollow knock on the trailer door.

“We’re ready for you on set in fifteen minutes, Mr. Miller,” a voice called.

With the knock the spell was broken. You untangled yourself from his embrace, a shy smile ghosting over your lips as you stepped away.

“You should eat.”

Again, you’d agreed to watch him film. Joel had convinced you on his way out the trailer door, his hand resting at the small of your back as he led you towards the set. It was a small shoot – only Joel and Cheryl, the cameraman, the sound guy, a couple people from VCA, Ronald, and you. In the time you’d worked for Joel, you couldn’t remember a set feeling this intimate (not that you usually stayed to watch– not unless he explicitly asked).

The only goal for the scene was to find out if Joel and Cheryl worked well together on camera – hence no specific storyline or roles they were supposed to act out. Joel was getting his dick sucked, but other than that they were free to take the scene whichever way they wanted.

The room buzzed with quiet conversation as the cameraman got the camera and film ready. Joel was already seated on the couch where the scene would take place. His legs were spread wide, his hard bulge on display as he leisurely smoked a cigarette. Cheryl had taken up the seat beside him, leaning her elbow on the back and resting her head in her hands. They were talking, but you couldn’t hear from where you stood in the corner. Every now and then Joel’s eyes would search for yours, meeting them for a moment as a small smile spread across his lips, before they would flick back to Cheryl, joining their conversation again.

A few minutes later, the cameraman gave the okay to start shooting, making the rest of the set settle down. Joel still smoked his cigarette, so you took it upon yourself to be a good assistant and walk over to him with an ashtray.

A smile spread across Joel’s face when he saw you approach. His arm came up to rest over the back of the couch, his body opening to you with curiosity. You gave him a small smile in return, presenting the ashtray to him with a teasing raise of your eyebrow.

“Just ‘nother drag, sweetheart,” he teased, placing his cigarette back between his lips.

“Nuh-uh,” you chuckled, stealing his cigarette from his mouth with two pinched fingers.

The rest of the smoke in his lungs came out in small chuckles, his hands gathering in his lap as he leaned slightly towards you, moony eyes watching you. He was about to say something before,

“Quiet on set,” the cameraman interrupted with a shout.

You wanted to do something. Cup his cheek, kiss him, anything to just touch him, but you couldn’t. You needed to keep it professional. Instead, you gave him another small smile before you walked back to your previous spot in the corner.

“And… action!”

With the shout of the cameraman, the film was rolling, and the shoot had started.

Leaning against the wall again, you crossed your arms over your chest as you watched Cheryl sink to her knees between Joel’s spread legs. On her lips she wore an innocent pout while her hands caressed his thighs.

“Wanna put my mouth on it,” she said in a sweet voice.

“Yeah, baby? What do you want in your pretty little mouth?” Joel’s voice was deep and coaxing, his hand cupping Cheryl’s chin where his thumb ghosted over her skin.

Cheryl tilted her face down slightly, eyes big and wide as she looked up at him through her lashes.

“Your cock, sir,” she pouted.

You still didn’t know much of the plot to the porno they were shooting, but it was clear that they were going in a specific direction. It wasn’t unusual for Joel to slip into a more dominant character in the pornos he played in, but this new element of innocence from his scene partner wasn’t something he often did.

“You want me to teach you how to suck cock like a proper whore, sweet girl?”

Sweet girl.

You watched how Cheryl’s head nodded in his palm, teeth catching on her bottom lip, and a wicked smile tugged at the corners of Joel’s mouth. It made you shift your weight, arms tightening around your body.

“Alright…” Joel’s thumb ghosted over her bottom lip, “Take my cock out,” he ordered, pulling his hand away.

Cheryl obediently did as he said, her hands messing with the buttons on his jeans. Joel wasn’t wearing anything underneath – it was easier that way, he’d told you earlier in his trailer. Cheryl gasped as Joel’s hard cock sprung free. Her eyes wide as she watched how his cock slapped against his lower stomach.

“’s big isn’t it, sweet girl?”

Again.

Your teeth caught on your bottom lip, pulling at the loose skin with a burning ache.

“So big, sir,” Cheryl agreed, nodding her head.

“Too big for your little mouth, sweetheart?” Joel teased, taking himself in his hand, pulling gentle strokes up and down.

Cheryl shook her head again, “No, sir! I can take it!”

Joel huffed out a laugh at that, his grin growing wider. “Yes, you can, slut.”

His degrading words pulled a moan from Cheryl, and not a second later her mouth was on him. Joel laughed again, another huffing chuckle leaving him as his heavy hand came to rest at the top of her head, guiding her down on him.

“That’s it, slut, suck that big cock– take it all the way down that whore throat,” he encouraged, head tipping back in pleasure. The wet sounds echoing through the room were obscene, pornographic. Sticky strings of spit clung to Cheryl’s chin and dripped down to her breasts where she’d tugged at the V of her neckline to expose them.

“Feels so good, my sweet girl– just like that,” Joel moaned, eyes squeezed shut with a look of pleasure coating his features like he’d ascended to heaven.

My sweet girl.

The room spun, and you pressed your back harder against the wall, like it would fall down over you if you didn’t press up against it. Or maybe it was you who would cave in.

That pet name. That fucking pet name.

You needed to step out if you wanted to breathe, your throat tightening up as your thoughts drifted; to this morning in your bed and then again in the shower, to the two of you in that motel bed, to Joel’s hand on your knee as he’d knelt in front of you by the pool in Pismo Beach. Burning tears pressed behind your eyelids. You couldn’t watch any more, couldn’t hear any more, you couldn’t.

As quietly as you could you stepped out of the set. Your eyes pinched together in a squint as the hot LA afternoon sun blazed down on you. The air hot and stuffy, but not as suffocating as you felt inside.

Why did you feel this way? Jealous of another woman?

Joel wasn’t your boyfriend… at least not in so many words, but after Pismo Beach and his confession, he felt like yours. Someone you can’t help but fall in love with. That’s what he’d told you.

You couldn’t keep your thoughts from spiraling. Fall in love with? How could he be in love with you? You’d only had sex twice, never been on a proper date. You didn’t know who he was outside work. His touch and his kisses felt good, but how could you know if it was more than that – more than just something physical. He’d never called you his girlfriend. Why did you have any right to be upset right now?

This was his job. You knew that before you got involved with him. It wasn’t a problem for you, you’d told him so in the job interview. You’d spoken the truth at the time, but now you weren’t so sure.

Numbed by your realization, you stepped back inside. The scene you were met with only affirmed your thoughts.

You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

They’d moved positions. Cheryl’s head hung off the armrest, perfect boobs bouncing beneath Joel as he fucked her throat. It was lewd, and dirty and plain vulgar. With every thrust of his hips Joel earned himself a quiet gag. Under him, her body was completely at his mercy. He pulled back every once in a while, to let her breath, before plunging his hard cock back down her throat. Ropes of bubbling spit escaped her mouth and ran down her face.

Joel was completely in control, using her throat purely for his own pleasure. Groans and moans spilled from his lips in between filthy praises and ‘good girl’’s. Cheryl’s body squirmed under him, her hand rubbing quickly at her clit under her dress, edging herself towards her orgasm.

This is what Joel wanted. Someone like Cheryl– someone who was confident and skilled, someone who knew what she was doing.

You watched Joel’s thrusts turn sloppy, and that now familiar pinch in his brow let you know he was about to bust his load. With a quick motion he jerked his cock back, taking his throbbing and sensitive cock in hand, fisting himself quickly. Cheryl gasped for air, before she withered with her orgasm.

Joel groaned louder than you’d ever heard him before, his eyes flicking up from Cheryl’s squirming body to find yours. A smile spread across his face then, and then he was spilling over his knuckles and painting Cheryl’s face with his release.

“Shit,” Joel panted, coming down. His hand squeezed the last few drops of his cum out of his cock and onto Cheryl’s tongue.

“Aaaand– cut,” the camera man yelled.

Joel dropped the act immediately, stepping away from a ruined Cheryl as his cock went soft in his hand.

“Shit,” Cheryl groaned, wiping some of the mix of spit and Joel’s cum from her face.

“You okay?” Joel asked, tender hands helping her sit upright.

Cheryl giggled sweetly, big smile blossoming over her features, “Okay? More than okay, Joel– fucking amazing.”

As the gentle lover you knew him to be, Joel helped Cheryl clean up her face after getting handed a towel, but not before assessing the picture he’d painted– which wasn’t much, not compared the cumshots he usually gave out.  

“If I knew I’d be filmin’ today I wouldn’t have jerked of this morning,” he laughed, wiping her face.

It wasn’t funny.

part three -> here

i hope this was okay? and that you liked this! <3 as always feedback as a comment, in the tags, as an ask or reply is very much appreciated, and they make me super happy! <3

© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!

[bytemee]

chapter six. | WHERE DO YOU SLEEP? — yu jimin.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — y/n, a rising music producer, has built her dream career while keeping her personal life under wraps. karina, aespa’s leader, is preparing for a huge comeback with a mini album produced and written by the one and only y/n.

karina knows this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and she has to nail it. the only problem is, she may be a bit distracted by her producer.

something about their connection feels different—like maybe it's worth the risk of prying eyes. but how much will they give up to chase after what they want?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — longing/kinda have a tad bit of angst but not really, smut (gulp), g!p reader, and let me know if there's more.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 5.9k

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲— wow man i said 6k and it ended up being 5.9k am i a liar...manager name reveal wooooooo

taglist (open) — @sunshinez4 @gtfoiydlyj @yuyuy90 @liaponderstings @rinapomu @bimkayd

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next.

it was 2 am while jimin laid in bed, her face illuminated by the soft glow of her phone. her schedule started early tomorrow, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

not when you were on the other end of the line.

your voice had grown quieter over the last hour, words slurring slightly as sleep began to pull you under. jimin had teased you about it at first, laughing softly when you denied how tired you were, but now the only sound was the soft rhythm of your breathing.

you had fallen asleep mid-sentence, and she couldn't bring herself to hang up.

instead, she stayed there, her thumb gently tapping the screen, staring at your contact photo—a smile she knew well, the one she loved seeing in person. it made her heart flutter even now, even at this late hour, even with the miles between you.

she didn't want the call to end.

but she knew it had to.

"goodnight," jimin whispered, her voice barely a whisper, "i'll see you soon."

she reached for the stuffed animal you gave her, the one she kept close, its scent still lingering faintly despite the weeks that had passed.

it was she and mr. flopsy against the world.

she wanted to be closer to you; she wanted to hold your hand; she wanted to be the one that you went to when the nights were cold, the one who you could call whenever you were having a bad day. she wanted to be the one that made you laugh, the one that made your eyes light up. she wanted to be the reason behind your smile.

and she wanted you to want that, too.

she bit her lip, replying to all of the messages you had sent her yesterday that she never got around to answering. one by one, she typed out her responses, smiling at your silly jokes and teasing you back. but after a while, the conversation lulled, and she was left staring at her screen, trying to find the right words to say.

"good morning <3!"

"i hope today is better for you."

"fighting!"

she sent the message, her thumb hovering over the screen, wondering if she should add something else. but nothing seemed good enough. she sent the message, her thumb hovering over the screen, wondering if she should add something else. but nothing seemed good enough.

not the heart at the end, not the silly selfie she'd attached, not the encouragements. nothing could properly convey the emotions swirling inside her, the thoughts she couldn't seem to keep contained.

she couldn't stop thinking about you. couldn't stop wanting more.

was she being selfish? was she asking for too much?

she wasn't sure. all she knew was that it felt like a part of her was missing when you weren't there. like a piece of her had been stolen and taken halfway across the world, and the only thing that could fill the void was seeing you again.

she just hoped that wasn't too much to ask.

"hey, you gotta get up…like now."

the sleeping figure didn't move.

with a sigh, they gently shook the figure's shoulder, trying to get them to wake up. but the person just let out a sleepy groan, shifting slightly in their bed. "come on, we have a busy day ahead," they urged, hoping the person would finally stir.

after a few more attempts, the figure finally opened their eyes, squinting against the morning light. "get the fuck out, jamie." you grumble at your manager, pulling the covers over your head.

"no, i'm serious, y/n. you missed your session that was booked for this morning." you let out a groan, burying your head deeper into the pillow. you didn't care about the session. all you cared about was how good your bed felt and how you desperately wanted to stay there all day.

"i don't care." you mutter.

jamie sighs, shaking his head. "y/n, you have stuff to do. we have a photo shoot in a couple of hours, and if we don't leave soon, we'll be late. please just get up."

"can't you reschedule the photoshoot?" you try, even though you already know the answer.

"no, i can't," jamie says firmly, crossing his arms.

"but i don't feel good," you whine, and you can almost feel the eye roll.

he's silent for a moment before speaking again.

"whoa, three messages from jimin." you lift your head slightly, the mention of the idol catching your attention. you quickly reach for your phone, unlocking it to see the notifications from jimin.

"whipped bastard," jamie mumbles under his breath.

"shut up." you fire back, not denying his statement as you read through the messages. you were whipped, and you didn't even try to hide it.

"just get ready, please. i'm gonna order you some coffee." he finally relents, and you smile, giving a lazy thumbs-up before he walks out of your bedroom, leaving you alone.

jimin's eyes widen. she tries, she really does, to fight the smile on her face, but she can't. it's useless. the grin grows bigger, her dimples deepening. the universe finally seemed to be on her side as her manager revealed the news.

"we're heading to la next week to film the 'whiplash' music video," she said casually, but jimin didn't hear much after "la."

all three of her member's heads turned towards her, the smiles and smirks on their faces impossible to ignore. her members glance at each other, trying not to laugh at her expression. but ningning fails, a squeak leaving her mouth, and she immediately covers her face with her hands, trying to hide her giggles.

jimin narrows her eyes at ningning, already feeling the heat creeping up her neck. she's buzzing with excitement at the thought of seeing you again, but her members' reactions make her want to shrink into her chair.

"what? nothing to say?" winter teases, her tone playful, as she leans into jimin's personal space. jimin uses her personal defensive mechanism and swats her friend away, trying to act unbothered, but she is so far from unbothered.

"nothing to say about what?" she shoots back, trying her best to sound indifferent. her voice wavers just enough to give her away.

giselle hums knowingly, raising an eyebrow. "uh-huh. sure, unbothered queen. we believe you."

jimin groans, burying her face in her hands for a moment before straightening up, her usual composure returning. "focus," she mutters, pulling out the group leader card.

the teasing dies down eventually, and as soon as the members are distracted, jimin pulls out her phone. she doesn't even hesitate.

guess who's coming to la next week?

across the globe, you're just finishing up a long photoshoot. the last camera clicks finally signal the end, and you stretch your arms, shaking off the fatigue.

"that's a wrap!" the photographer announces happily. the crew erupts into chatter as they start packing up their equipment, and you stretch your arms above your head, feeling relieved. you're ready to go home and sleep for a hundred years.

"great job, y/n," the stylist says warmly, stepping forward to smooth down the soft button-up shirt you're wearing.

you glance down at the shirt, fingers brushing over the fabric. it was so soft, like butter. you couldn't remember the last time you wore something this comfortable. you hesitate for a moment before looking up at her with a sheepish grin. "hey, uh… is it okay if i keep this?"

the stylist pauses, then bursts into laughter, her knowing look making you blush. "go ahead. it looks like you're already in love with it."

"oh my god, i love you," you gush, clutching your hands together. "thank you!"

she waves you off, chuckling as she steps away to finish organizing her kit. you quickly slip the shirt off, folding it neatly to keep it clean while you change back into your own clothes.

as you step away from the set, jamie, your manager, catches up to you, a coffee in his hand. he gives you a once-over, taking in your appearance. "how was the shoot?"

"it was fine."

"you hungry?"

"always."

"great, let's grab a bite."

you raise a brow at him. "isn't there another thing i'm supposed to do after this?"

"not today." he answers, taking a sip from his coffee. "or for the rest of the week."

your eyes widen. "really?"

he nods, a knowing look on his face. you narrow your eyes. "wait, is this a pity thing?"

"what?" jamie shakes his head, scoffing. "no. it's just a little break. you've been working hard, so you deserve it."

you blink at jamie, skepticism etched into your expression. "you're giving me a break? just like that? no strings attached?"

jamie rolls his eyes. "yes, y/n, believe it or not, i'm capable of basic human decency. now, let's go grab food before you pass out."

still, you study him for a moment longer, looking for any signs of a trap. finally, you shrug, accepting his answer. "fine. but if you spring a last-minute meeting on me tomorrow, i'm holding this over your head forever."

"duly noted," jamie says dryly as he ushers you toward the exit.

as the two of you step into the crisp evening air, you fish your phone out of your pocket, curious if jimin has replied. sure enough, her name lights up your notifications, and you feel your heart do an embarrassing little flip.

you bite your lip, rereading the message as a small, giddy smile tugs at your mouth. you quickly type back.

you hesitate for a second, then add a smiley face before sending it off. as you slide your phone back into your pocket, jamie catches your expression and snorts.

"you're absolutely unbearable when you talk to her," he teases.

you roll your eyes. "and you're unbearable all the time, so what's your point?"

he laughs, shrugging.

"keep talking, and i'm cancelling dinner," you add, just to be a brat.

four entire days passed.

the anticipation was eating you alive.

you tried to stay busy, but remember. you were given a full seven days off, so that meant nothing to do. the days dragged on, each one feeling longer than the last. you couldn't wait to see her again.

every time you thought about it, your stomach twisted in that nervous, fluttery way you hated admitting you liked.

when jimin finally told you her flight details, it took every ounce of self-control not to drop everything and drive to the airport to meet her. instead, you played it cool—or at least tried to.

the day she landed, you kept your phone close, checking the time obsessively and jumping at every notification, thinking it might be her. you knew she'd have a packed schedule as soon as she arrived, and she'd probably be exhausted because of the long flight, but you couldn't help hoping she'd reach out sooner rather than later.

she texted you briefly after landing, letting you know she'd made it safely and promising to see you soon. you replied with something casual, though your heart was racing the entire time.

the next day, friday, dragged on endlessly. jimin was out with her group, spending time with them, as it would be the only full day they got to themselves before filming the music video the following day. by the time nighttime rolled around, you were pacing your living room like a caged animal.

and then your phone buzzed.

are you free tonight? i can come by now.

your heart skipped a beat as you read the message. you quickly sent her your address, typing it so fast that you had to backtrack and fix a typo.

i'm free. come over whenever you're ready.

i'm so excited.

me too.

i can't wait to kiss you again.

i miss your lips.

…

you're making it very difficult to not just run over there.

not being very fair right now >:(

sorry, not sorry.

just get over here.

when your doorbell finally rang out, you sprang from the couch, moving so fast that your socks betrayed you on the hardwood floor. you nearly toppled over but managed to catch yourself on the wall, your heart pounding for reasons that had nothing to do with your near fall.

with a quick breath to steady yourself, you turned the doorknob, and there she was.

jimin stood on your doorstep, dressed casually in a hoodie, sweats, and a cap, her hair pulled back into a low ponytail. she seemed worlds away from the polished idol everyone else saw, yet this version of her left you utterly speechless.

for a moment, you could only stare, drinking her in. she smiled, a dimple popping out, and that was all it took for you to regain control. you opened the door wider, stepping aside to let her in, and she hurried past you, the whiff of her perfume lingering in her wake.

"long day?" you asked, even though you already knew the answer, closing the door behind her as she set her bag near the entryway and pulled off her cap. your cap, actually, but you did say she could have it.

you watched her like a hawk as she nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "yeah, but i had fun."

you swallowed hard, unsure how to respond. jimin, however, seemed perfectly at ease, slipping off her sneakers and padding further into your home.

"it's nice here," she commented, looking around.

"it's cleaner than usual," you admitted with a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

she laughed, her smile deepening. "you didn't have to clean for me, you know."

"i didn't," you said quickly, but her raised brow had you cracking a grin. "okay, maybe i did. a little."

"do you want something to drink? or eat? i've finally been free to get groceries—"

"y/n," she interrupted, her hand catching yours mid-ramble.

you froze, looking down at where her fingers brushed against your own before meeting her gaze again.

"i'm here for you," she said softly. "not food. not anything else. just… you." your breath caught at her words. did she know the effect she had on you? to make your heart pound so hard it almost hurt, your stomach twists in knots, and your mouth dry out like you had been dehydrated for weeks?

if the knowing smirk on her face was any indication, yes. she did.

you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly thick. "well, okay then."

the two of you moved slowly, cautiously, like two animals circling each other for the first time. her eyes flickered down to your lips, and a shiver ran through you. she bit her lip, hesitating for just a second before reaching out, her hand cupping the side of your face. her thumb grazed your bottom lip, her touch feather-light.

you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes.

the tenderness of her touch made your chest tighten.

your eyelids fluttered open.

she was watching you, her gaze soft and affectionate.

it was as if the weight of the past few weeks had suddenly disappeared.

as if it didn't matter. nothing else mattered except the way she looked at you. her hands moved to cup your cheeks, and then she leaned in. her lips met yours in a gentle and loving kiss, and you sighed, melting into her touch.

you can't believe it's been almost three months since her touch.

three months.

"hi," she whispered, her voice thick.

you let out a small chuckle, the sound more breathless than you intended. "hey."

her lips curved into a smile.

that's nothing compared to how long you'll have her, but it feels like a lifetime. your head spins, your pulse racing as you try to comprehend the fact that she's here, right now. with you.

she pulls back for a moment, her eyes searching yours, her gaze never wavering. you stare back, transfixed by her beauty.

her thumbs gently caress your cheeks, and then she kisses you again, deeper this time, more urgent. your hands move to her waist, tugging you closer, pulling her into you with a desperation that mirrored her own. she responded eagerly, her fingers balling your shirt in her hands as she deepened the kiss even further.

heat flooded your body, and your skin tingled.

god, it had been too long.

"i missed this," she whispered against your lips, her voice breathless.

"me too," you murmured back, tilting your head and capturing her mouth in another searing kiss. she moaned softly into your mouth, and the sound sent a rush of pleasure through you, the heat pooling low in your belly. when the two of you finally broke apart, both panting and flushed, her lips were swollen, and her eyes were bright.

"i don't ever want to go that long without seeing you again," she admitted.

"me neither."

you gave her waist a little squeeze before reaching for her hand, leading her toward your bedroom. "come on," you said, grinning. "you've never seen my place, right? let me show you around."

jimin grinned. "lead the way."

the tour started in the living room, which was sparsely decorated. you hadn't bothered with much beyond the bare essentials. you didn't spend much time at home anyway, and you didn't care to decorate.

"this is the couch where i crash when i'm too lazy to move to my bed," you said, patting the back of it. there were a few pillows tossed around and a blanket draped over one side, clearly well-used. "also known as the nap kingdom."

jimin nodded seriously, pretending to take notes. "nap kingdom. got it."

you walked to the little bookshelf by the window. "and here's where i pretend to be cultured." a mix of books, old magazines, and random knickknack's filled the shelves. one corner had a plant that was either thriving or barely holding on—it was hard to tell.

you gestured to the far wall. "i keep the tv over there. mostly for background noise and when i feel like binging something. and then over here," you pointed at the kitchen area, "is the land of the fridge."

jimin chuckled.

"it's my second favorite place in the house," you explained. "the first being…" you paused for dramatic effect, pointing at the ceiling above. "my room!"

she laughed again.

you led her down a hallway that stretched far longer than most would expect, the space lined with artwork—some pieces you'd picked up while touring in europe, others gifted by fellow artists. jimin's gaze lingered on a few, a small smile on her lips.

your bedroom was at the end of the hall. the doors were tall, dark wood with brass handles. you pushed them open with a small flourish. "ta-da."

the room was massive, just like the rest of the house. the king-sized bed took up a good portion of the space, the covers rumpled and pillows scattered. a plush rug covered the hardwood floors, and more windows lined the far wall. the view from here was even better than the living room's, and you could see the sun setting over the city below.

there was a seating area near the window with two armchairs and a small coffee table. you had an open walk-in closet to one side, with floor-to-ceiling shelves and rows of shoes. and in the corner, next to your nightstand, sat an acoustic guitar you hadn't put away yet.

"i didn't get to make my bed, but… welcome." you turned back to her with a sheepish smile.

jimin chuckled, her eyes soft as she took in the space. "i think the messy bed's part of the charm."

you grinned and flopped onto the bed without a second thought, sinking into the plush mattress.

"best part of the tour," you joked, spreading your arms out dramatically like you were making a snow angel.

jimin laughed and followed your lead, collapsing next to you with a bounce. she landed close enough that your shoulders brushed, her hair splaying out across the pillows. she sighed happily.

you turned your head to look at her. her eyes were closed, a content expression on her face. it felt like everything had fallen into place, like this was where she belonged. like the past three months had been a dream, and now you were finally waking up.

her eyelids fluttered open, her gaze meeting yours. she smiled softly. "hi."

you couldn't help smiling back. "hey."

she let out a long, deep breath before turning her head towards you fully. your bodies faced each other, heads resting on pillows. she reached out, her fingers trailing along your jawline. the touch made your heart skip a beat, your skin tingling.

jimin tilted her head just slightly, closing the distance. her lips met yours gently, hesitantly, and you melted into her touch. she pulled away after a moment, only to kiss you again, deeper this time.

you sighed against her mouth, savoring the warmth of her lips, the taste of her tongue. she tasted like mint and coffee, sweet and earthy all at once.

you kissed her back eagerly, your hands cupping her face as she pulled you even closer. her fingers wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you in tight, and you could feel her body pressed against yours, like she didn't want any space between you. she made a noise of approval when your arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer until you were tangled together.

she gasped as you shifted your weight, rolling so that she lay beneath you, her back flat against the mattress. your lips never left hers. you trailed kisses down her jawline, along her neck, and she arched her back with a breathy moan, her nails digging into your shoulder blades.

her scent filled your senses—floral and sweet, mixed with something spicy—and it made your head spin. your hands roamed her body, exploring every curve, every line, every inch of skin you could reach. she squirmed beneath you, panting as she tugged at your clothes, urging you to remove them. you complied, discarding the fabric on the floor.

when you pulled away from her, she whimpered at the loss, her eyes heavy-lidded and dark. you sat back on your heels, kneeling between her legs, admiring the sight of her laid out beneath you. her hair was tousled and mussed, her cheeks flushed, and her lips swollen. she looked beautiful.

"y/n," she muttered, suddenly embarrassed by your lingering gaze. she tried to cover her face with her hands, but you grabbed her wrists, pressing kisses to the inside of each one.

"what is it, love?" you asked, the nickname slipping off your tongue without thinking.

she stared up at you, her eyes searching yours for a moment before she pulled you back down into another heated kiss, her hands tangling in your hair, her tongue sliding against yours.

"please," she murmured against your mouth, her breath hot.

"you have no idea how much i've thought about this," you said, your hand rising higher, resting just underneath the band of her bra.

"you don't know how much i've thought about you," she whispered.

you pulled away slightly, just enough to look at her. "yeah?"

she nodded, a playful glint in her eyes.

"tell me," you whispered, pushing her hoodie upward to expose more of her skin, pressing a solid kiss in the middle of her torso. "how often did you think of me?"

she swallowed, her chest rising and falling as her breaths came in short bursts. "too often.

you hummed, your hands falling to either side of her hoodie, tugging it upwards. she helped you, raising her arms so you could slip it off her. "and what did you think about?" you continued; your lips found her skin again, pressing a line of kisses up her abdomen.

her eyes fluttered shut, her head falling back against the pillow as a shiver ran through her. "everything," she breathed, her fingers curling in the sheets.

"everything?"

"i thought about the way you looked at me when we first met, how your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you always smelled, the way you laughed." her voice dropped to a whisper. "i thought about the way you kissed me."

"i thought about you too," you murmur, your hands roamed her body, caressing every curve. you tugged her bra off, exposing her breasts. "all the time," you added, taking in the sight of her breasts pouring out of her bra.

your thumbs rubbed her nipples, her eyes closed. she let out a sigh, her back arching, pushing her breasts into your touch. "please," she whimpered, and the sound made your entire body tense, the pressure between your legs becoming almost unbearable.

but that didn't matter. you wanted to please her, to make her feel good, to let her know how much she meant to you. how you also think about her every single passing second of every day; that you were basically like a dog who waits eagerly for its owner's attention and affection.

her hands gripped your biceps as her hips bucked against yours once more. you dipped your head, taking one nipple into your mouth, swirling your tongue around her areola before moving to the other, sucking lightly and then harder.

"fuck," she gasped, her nails digging into your skin as her body writhed beneath you. you continued your ministrations, alternating between sucking and teasing her nipples with your teeth, eliciting delicious sounds from her lips. when you released her breasts, she groaned at the loss of contact.

"y/n," she pleaded, her voice pleading.

"shh," you murmured, kissing her stomach again. "let me take care of you." you sat back on your heels, tugging at her sweats until she lifted her hips, allowing you to slide them off along with her underwear.

"is this okay?" you asked, kissing her hip, your eyes locked on hers. she nodded, and you smiled, your arms wrapping around her thighs, your fingers gripping into the flesh of them. you lifted her legs over your shoulders, bringing her closer to you, and her hips bucked, her hands gripping the sheets.

"yes." she breathed.

the next thing she knew, your tongue was sliding up her wet slit, teasing her clit. she cried out, her hands immediately finding your head, gripping a handful of your hair, tugging it hard enough to make you groan. you didn't care, though, because she was wet and slick and sweet, and god, it felt amazing to finally taste her after all this time.

you lapped at her folds, tasting her juices, savoring every drop. she moaned, her hips bucking against your face.

the taste of her on your tongue was intoxicating; the pressure of her hands in your hair was intoxicating; to have her here, in your home, with her body responding to yours was more than you ever could've hoped for.

"fu-fuck." she moaned, her thighs squeezing around your head as your tongue worked her, a long whine following suit. "oh god, fuck."

her eyes closed, her head rolling back, the tendons in her neck standing out, her skin covered in a light sheen of sweat. "that's it," you encouraged, the sound of your voice making her shiver.

"y/n." she moaned, her grip tightening even further.

"more," she pleaded.

you gave her what she asked for, pushing two fingers into her, the sound of her cry filling the room, but that was nothing compared to the warmth of her around your fingers, the way her muscles squeezed and pulled, wanting you deeper inside her.

you could've lost yourself in that feeling, the heat, the tightness, the raw desire emanating from her. you wanted nothing more than to feel her come undone beneath you, the knowledge that it was your name on her lips, your hands on her body, the image of her coming apart for you burned into your brain.

"y/n."

her voice was raspy, low, and full of want, and it shot through you like lightning. your movements became faster and deeper, her breathing heavier as she struggled to speak.

"please. don't stop."

"i won't." you vowed.

"make me come, please."

you had never seen anything more beautiful. the way she arched her back, the way her eyes clamped shut in ecstasy, it was a sight to behold. "yes, yes, yes." she cried out.

her body was writhing underneath yours, her muscles tightening, her mouth forming words, but none of them coherent. it was like her entire world was collapsing, and she was grasping onto the only thing that mattered to her anymore, you.

"i'm gonna…"

and then, finally, she reached her peak, her hands leaving your hair to clutch the sheets as she rode out her orgasm, your name spilling from her lips over and over again. you didn't want her to stop. you didn't want this moment to end.

"oh god, oh god, y/n."

it was so fucking hot.

her chest heaved as she came down, her body trembling, her eyes still closed. she stayed there for a moment, basking in the afterglow. to be completely fair, these weren't her intentions on coming over. jimin would've been fine waiting. it was all up to you. but this? this was so, so much better.

"are you alright?" you ask, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"perfect." she sighs, opening her eyes.

"good."

her gaze is soft, full of tenderness and adoration, and she's looking at you like you're the only person who matters in the entire universe. you're sure the look on your face mirrors hers, because how could it not? how could you not be utterly and hopelessly in love with her?

you're soon tangled up again, your bodies pressed together, limbs intertwined as you try to get as close to each other as possible. there's nothing else you'd rather be doing. both bodies bare with your eyes locked, hearts beating as one.

your hand rests on the side of jimin's waist, your mouth agape as you kneel between her legs, the feeling of your cock pressing against her folds making you shiver. "is this okay?"

"yes," she whispered, her voice shaking. "i want this."

the two of you are connected by an invisible thread; every time you pull away, it tugs at you, drawing you back into her orbit, and you can't help yourself. the air between you crackles, electric. your eyes never leave hers as you slowly push into her, watching for any sign of discomfort.

her breath catches when you fill her completely, and you pause, giving her time to adjust. she takes a deep breath before nodding. "keep going," she says softly.

"i'll go slow."

you press another kiss to her forehead, and she sighs, closing her eyes. you start moving inside her, gently at first, trying to find a rhythm. her hands immediately reach out to find yours, lacing your fingers together and holding onto you tightly.

"fuck," she moans, squeezing your hand.

"feels good?"

"so good," she breathes, trying her hardest to keep you in her sights because you were a sight to behold. a selfish thought of being the only person to see you this way popped up in her head and she wanted nothing more than to hold that title forever. your hair messy, your lips parted and swollen from kissing, and sweat beading down your body. you were beautiful, and you were all hers.

"how are you so perfect?" she whispers, a hand leaving yours and reaching up and cupping your cheek.

"i'm far from perfect," you laugh softly.

"you are to me." oh.

her words send a shiver down your spine.

her words send a shiver down your spine. you're not sure how to respond to that, but luckily you don't have to, because she pulls you down for another kiss. it's slower this time, less urgent. her tongue slides over yours as her legs wrap around your waist, pulling you deeper into her, and you groan into her mouth. she swallows the sound eagerly, biting your bottom lip and tugging on it lightly before letting go.

your head ducks into the crook of her neck, her scent overwhelming you. "jimin." you murmur against her skin. she responds by running a hand through your hair, her nails scratching your scalp, taking the opportunity to pepper kisses on the side of your face and neck.

the rhythm of your thrusts grows faster and deeper, the tension building, coiling in the pit of your stomach, and you're struggling to maintain control, not wanting to end everything too soon. her body is flush against yours, her hips rising to meet yours as you rock into her, her breath hot against your ear.

"you're doing so good, baby," she murmurs, her voice low and husky. "so good for me."

those words alone nearly undo you, and you moan, burying your face deeper into her neck, her praise washing over you like warm water. she knows what it does to you, and she uses it against you, whispering encouragements, telling you how beautiful you are, how much she loves feeling you inside her.

your hand slides down her body, reaching between the two of you to find her clit. she gasps as your fingers brush over the sensitive nub, her grip tightening in yours, her legs squeezing tighter, her toes curling.

you continue to work her clit as your thrusts grow erratic, and you can feel her tightening around you, her muscles beginning to contract. her body writhes beneath yours, her back arching, her moans getting louder and louder until she lets out a broken cry, her walls clamping down on your cock, and you can't hold back any longer, a white-hot burst of pleasure shooting through you as your climax crashes into her.

her name falls from your lips as she comes undone beneath you, the two of you reaching a high that's impossible to describe, the pleasure overwhelming and intense, sending waves of euphoria throughout your body, leaving you breathless and panting. you ride out your orgasm together, holding onto each other tightly, never wanting to let go.

after a while, the two of you eventually separate, the need to catch your breath becoming too much. she lies beside you, her head resting on your chest, her hair splayed out across the pillow. your heart pounds beneath her ear, and you're sure she can feel it, too, but neither of you mentions it.

instead, you wrap your arm around her, pulling her closer and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"y/n," she finally mumbles, her eyes still closed, her body relaxing into yours.

"yeah?"

"i don't want this to end."

you pause, your fingers freezing mid-trail on her back. you don't want this to end, either. not now, not ever. the thought of it twists something deep in your chest. you want her in your life, in whatever way you can have her, even if that means settling for stolen moments here and there.

"i don't either," you admit softly.

jimin lifts her head slightly, her lips press into a thin line, and for a moment, she looks like she might cry. instead, she lets out a shaky breath, leaning in and pressing her forehead against yours, her nose brushing against yours.

suddenly, her head lifts again. "then let's not," she says quickly, her words tumbling out in a rush. "i know it's not that simple, but we can… i don't know. we can make it work, right?"

the desperation in her tone, the way her eyes search yours, the way her breath hitches, it all hits you in a wave. how much this means to her, how much you mean to her. she doesn't want this to end any more than you do, and that's enough.

you brush a strand of hair away from her face, offering her a small smile. "i want to. more than anything. but it's going to take effort—real effort."

"i know," she says, nodding a little too quickly.

"but we're good at effort, right? like, we both put our all into everything we do. why can't we do that here, too?" she pauses, searching your eyes as if looking for reassurance. "i just—i don't want us to lose this because of, like… logistics or schedules or whatever. that's so stupid. we're better than that."

you chuckle, and she glares at you, a fist jokingly threatening to punch your arm. you raise your hands defensively, trying not to laugh, which only makes her pout more. it's hard to take her seriously when she looks so cute.

"we can. i'll do anything it takes."

her face softens, and a smile spreads across her lips. "me too."

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next.

[cloudyluun]

Press play (p3) | boyfriend!harry

Summary: The morning after a night of absolute ruin, you and Harry find yourselves tangled in lazy kisses, teasing conversations, and the lingering idea of uploading your tapes for the world to see. The thought is tempting, but the decision remains unspoken—left hanging in the air between flirtation and something far deeper. But while Harry is usually the one in control, you have other plans. And when you leave him with a final warning? He has no idea what’s coming next. 

A/N: This chapter is so cute and fluffy, I could cry. 🥹 Soft morning cuddles, sleepy kisses, playful teasing; who is this wholesome couple??? But don’t let the sweetness fool you, because the tension is very much still there. And the idea of uploading their tapes? Yeah, that’s definitely not going away anytime soon.

Oh, you thought Harry was always going to be in charge? Think again. 😈 Chapter 4 is coming tomorrow, and let’s just say… Mr. Control Freak isn’t quite ready for what’s about to hit him. Pray for him. (Or don’t. He deserves it.)

Prepare yourselves, hydrate, and get plenty of rest, besties. It’s your turn to wreck him. 🔥

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 

Fluff & domestic softness (yes, they do just eat breakfast like normal people sometimes)

Teasing & power play (but this time, Y/N is taking the upper hand)

Discussions of filming intimate content (and making a lot of money from it)

Harry being an absolute menace (as always)

Y/N being an even bigger menace (because it’s her time to shine)

not proofread yet, sorry babes!

[part 1] [part 2]

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the warmth. It’s everywhere—wrapped around your skin, pressed into your muscles, woven into the air itself. The sheets are soft, tangled around your legs, still carrying the lingering scent of sex and Harry. The room is drenched in morning light, golden and drowsy, seeping through the cracks in the curtains. It catches in the dust motes that swirl lazily above the bed, illuminating the aftermath of last night’s ruin.

You’re sore. In the best way.

It’s a slow, heavy ache, a dull throb in every place he touched you—your thighs, your wrists, your hips. Faint bruises bloom where his fingers dug into your skin, where his teeth scraped over delicate flesh. There’s an unmistakable soreness between your legs, a delicious reminder of how thoroughly he took you apart, how many times he made you come, how greedy he was about it.

But despite all of that—despite the exhaustion still pulling at your limbs—there’s a deep, unshakable comfort in it.

Harry is still fast asleep beside you.

You take a slow breath, turning your head slightly to look at him. He’s rarely this peaceful. Usually, he’s the first to wake up, always restless, always reaching for you before his mind has even caught up with his body. But right now, he’s still. Relaxed. The sharp edges of him are softened in sleep—the furrow that’s almost always in his brow is gone, the usual smirk on his lips replaced by something softer. His curls are a mess, wild against the pillow, a few stray strands falling over his forehead. His breathing is slow and even, his bare chest rising and falling beneath the sheets.

He looks so different like this.

Gone is the dominant, unrelenting man from last night—the one who wrecked you in every way possible, who made you beg, who captured every desperate, broken sound on film so he could keep it forever. This version of him—the one curled up beside you, arm slung lazily over your waist, face slack with sleep—is something else entirely.

And you can’t stop looking at him.

Your fingers twitch with the urge to touch him, to brush the curls from his forehead, to run your fingertips along the curve of his jaw. But you hesitate. He looks so peaceful, and it’s rare to catch him like this—to see him unguarded, free from the weight of control.

So instead, you just watch.

You let your gaze drift over the slope of his nose, the way his lips are slightly parted, the faint stubble shadowing his jaw. There’s something about it—about this stolen moment of stillness—that makes your chest ache in a way you don’t quite understand.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring until you shift slightly, intending to slip out of bed, but the moment you do, his grip tightens.

A low, sleepy noise rumbles from his throat—somewhere between a sigh and a groan—and before you can even react, he pulls you back against him.

“Not going anywhere, angel,” he mumbles, voice thick and hoarse with sleep. His face buries into the curve of your neck, his nose pressing against your skin, warm breath fanning over your collarbone. “Stay.”

Your heart stutters in your chest.

His voice is different like this. Lower, rougher, still laced with sleep. There’s no teasing, no command behind it—just quiet, half-conscious need.

You swallow, pressing your lips together to stop yourself from smiling. “H, I was just—”

He groans again, cutting you off, tightening his arm around your waist. “No,” he mutters, his lips brushing against your skin. “Too early. Stay here.”

You let out a soft laugh, but you don’t fight him. Because if you’re honest with yourself, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

So you relax against him, sinking back into the warmth of the sheets, letting your fingers trace lazy patterns over the back of his hand where it rests against your stomach.

“Fine,” you murmur. “I’ll stay.”

Harry hums, satisfied, and his grip eases slightly. But he doesn’t let go. Not even for a second.

And you don’t mind. Not at all.

You shift slightly in his arms, stretching just enough to work out the delicious soreness lingering in your muscles. But the moment you move, Harry makes a low, grumbling sound, his arm tightening instinctively around your waist. His lips find your bare shoulder, pressing lazy, open-mouthed kisses against your skin, warm and unhurried.

“Mm. Too early for all that wiggling, angel,” he mumbles, voice still thick with sleep. His lips brush along your collarbone, his curls tickling your skin. “Be good and stay still.”

You smile, letting out a soft breath. “I’m not wiggling.”

He nips at your shoulder, just enough to make you squirm. “Liar.”

A sleepy laugh spills from your lips, and you melt against him, letting yourself relax fully into his embrace. His warmth is addictive, the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back impossibly soothing.

There’s a comfortable silence—just the soft rustling of sheets, the distant hum of the outside world filtering through the curtains. You feel his fingers trailing absentminded circles along your hip, the touch light, mindless.

And then, his voice, low and raspy against your skin.

“How do you feel?”

You let out a long, contented sigh. “Like I got hit by a truck.” You pause, then add, “A very good truck.”

Harry’s chest rumbles with quiet laughter, the sound deep and lazy. “That’s my girl.” His fingers brush up your side, dragging slowly over your ribs before settling at your waist again. “You took it so well.”

You bite back a smile, warmth blooming in your chest—not just from his words, but from the way he says them. Like he’s proud of you. Like he’s still replaying every moment of last night in his head.

A few seconds pass before you nuzzle closer, pressing your nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling the faint mix of his skin, his shampoo, and the lingering traces of sweat and sex. Your fingers trail absentmindedly along his forearm where it’s wrapped around you, tracing the veins, the soft hairs, the heat of him.

“Harry?”

“Mm?”

You hesitate for a second, then tilt your head slightly. “Do you ever—like—re-watch the tapes just for the… I don’t know. The memory of it?”

His fingers pause briefly against your skin. Then you feel his smirk.

“You mean not just to get off?”

Your face heats instantly. “Shut up.”

He chuckles, shifting behind you, and then suddenly, he’s moving. Before you can react, he’s rolling you onto your back, pinning you under his weight. His arms cage you in, his body warm and solid as he hovers above you, curls falling into his eyes.

“C’mon, angel,” he teases, tilting his head. “You wanna know if I sit around reminiscing about our greatest hits?”

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “I regret asking.”

Harry laughs, prying your hands away, fingers lacing through yours as he pins them gently beside your head. His green eyes gleam with amusement, but beneath it, there’s something softer. Something real.

“I do, y’know,” he murmurs, his teasing tone fading into something more genuine. “Re-watch them, I mean.”

Your stomach flips.

His gaze drifts over your face like he’s memorizing it, like he’s seeing something far beyond just the moments you’ve captured on film.

“It’s not just about the fucking,” he continues, voice quieter now. “It’s about you.” His fingers squeeze around yours, grounding you. “The way you react to me. The way you let go completely. S’fucking beautiful, angel.”

A slow, creeping warmth spreads through your chest, something too big to name. Your throat feels tight.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out at first.

Finally, you manage, “You actually mean that, don’t you?”

His brows furrow slightly, like the question itself is ridiculous. “Course I do.”

Your lips part slightly, a little stunned by how easily he says it. But before you can even attempt to respond, he dips down, brushing his lips over yours in the softest, slowest kiss.

Not greedy. Not demanding. Just there.

And you kiss him back, sinking into it, letting him steal the breath from your lungs.

It’s different from last night—from the rough hands, the desperate moans, the complete and utter ruin he put you through. This is something else entirely. Something unhurried, something patient. The kind of kiss that lingers long after he pulls away, leaving a ghost of warmth on your lips.

When he finally does pull back, his forehead rests against yours, the space between you practically nonexistent. His thumb strokes over your cheek, his other hand still wrapped around yours, holding you there like he has no plans of letting go.

You should say something. Acknowledge the weight of what he just admitted—that he doesn’t just watch your tapes to get off, but because he sees you in them. Because he loves the way you give yourself to him.

But instead, a different thought slips out.

“So… you know how you always say the cameras capture every detail?”

Harry hums, tilting his head slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. “Yeah?”

You hesitate, suddenly feeling a little shy. Your fingers fiddle with the hem of the sheet, your lips pressing together before you finally force yourself to say it.

“I was just thinking… people would probably pay a lot of money to see us.”

The room goes silent.

Harry blinks.

Then his smirk starts to spread—slow, lazy, something dark flickering behind his still-sleepy green eyes. His grip on your waist tightens just slightly, like he’s grounding himself, like he can’t quite believe you just said that.

“You want to put our tapes online?” His voice is slow, deliberate, like he’s savoring the words as they roll off his tongue.

You shrug, trying to seem nonchalant, even though your heart is pounding. “I mean… why not? People are out here making entire careers off this stuff. We already have the content.”

His smirk deepens, and you instantly realize what you’ve done. You’ve handed him ammunition.

Harry releases your hand, stretching with a satisfied groan before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He unlocks it with a lazy swipe, eyes still on you as he taps on the screen.

“Let’s see…” He clears his throat dramatically. “‘How to monetize your sex tapes’—”

A laugh bursts from your lips as you smack his arm, snatching the phone out of his hands before he can get any further. “I didn’t mean right this second, idiot.”

He chuckles, entirely unbothered, letting you steal his phone like it doesn’t matter. “Alright, alright.” He stretches again, arms folding behind his head, exposing the sharp cut of his biceps, the ink curling along his skin. “But you’re not wrong.”

Your brows furrow slightly. “About what?”

Harry turns his head, tilting it slightly as his eyes rake over you—slow, thorough, like he’s considering something. His tongue flicks over his bottom lip before he finally says, “We could make a ridiculous amount of money.”

Your stomach flips.

It’s one thing for you to say it—to throw the idea out there in a casual, offhanded way. But hearing him say it? Hearing him actually consider it?

That’s something else entirely.

He rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow, his body half-draped over yours. His fingers brush over your bare thigh, tracing idle circles against your skin as he leans in, voice dropping to something low and dangerous.

“Imagine it, angel,” he murmurs, lips grazing the corner of your mouth. “People watching you fall apart for me. Knowing they wish they could be in my place.” His teeth catch your bottom lip, a soft bite, before his tongue soothes over it. “But they never will.”

A shiver runs down your spine.

Of course he’d think about it like that. Of course, for him, this isn’t just about money—it’s about ownership. About knowing that even if the entire world saw you like this, no one else could ever actually have you.

You swallow, cheeks burning. “God, you’re insufferable.”

His smirk only grows. “C’mon, love. You like the idea too.”

You hesitate, your fingers playing with the sheets again. Because, truthfully? Yeah. You kind of do.

But you’re not about to give him that. Not yet.

Instead, you roll your eyes. “You’re impossible.”

Harry chuckles, rolling onto his back, stretching like a lazy cat before threading his fingers behind his head. He looks obnoxiously pleased with himself, watching you out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m just saying, angel,” he muses. “If we did do it, we’d be the best thing on that site.”

You groan, flopping onto your stomach and burying your face into the pillow. “Oh my god, shut up.”

Harry only laughs, his hand finding the back of your thigh, squeezing just enough to make you jolt.

“Just admit it,” he teases. “You like the thought of people watching.”

You lift your head just enough to glare at him. “Okay… maybe a little.”

His smirk turns downright wicked.

“Oh, angel.” He rolls back toward you, dipping his head so his lips are right next to your ear. His breath is warm, his voice silk and sin. “You just made my fucking day.”

You shove at his chest, trying to push him away, but he just laughs, letting you struggle against his weight like it’s the most entertaining thing in the world.

And the worst part?

You’re laughing too.

It’s ridiculous, really. How quickly he can turn you into this—how easily he can strip away your composure and have you giggling under him like you’re not tangled up in sheets that still smell like sex. Like you didn’t just have a conversation about selling your own sex tapes like it was the most casual thing in the world.

He finally relents, shifting his weight off you, though not before pressing a smug kiss to your cheek. You roll your eyes, but there’s no real heat behind it, especially when he flops onto his side beside you.

And then—just like that—the teasing fades.

Not completely. The warmth, the lightness, him—that all stays. But the look in his eyes shifts, his smirk softening, something more thoughtful settling in its place.

His hand finds your hip, his fingers drawing slow, absentminded circles against your skin. He watches you for a second before finally speaking.

“You know we’d have to be careful, right?” His voice is quiet now, more serious. “No faces. No identifying stuff.”

You nod immediately. “Obviously. Just the body parts that matter.”

Harry huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Christ.” His fingers flex slightly against your hip, but his gaze stays thoughtful. “I’d never want you to feel like you have to, though.”

There’s something in his voice when he says it—something careful.

And you know why.

For all his teasing, for all his confidence, for all the ways he loves to push you, Harry has never forced anything on you. Even in the moments when he’s in complete control, when you’re bound and begging and at his mercy—especially then—he always listens. Always makes sure you want it as much as he does.

And this?

This is different. This isn’t just about a moment between you and him. It’s about putting something out there—letting the world see a piece of what belongs to only the two of you.

You smile softly, reaching for his hand where it rests on your hip. Your fingers slip between his, squeezing lightly.

“I know that, H,” you murmur. “But honestly… I like the idea of people watching.” You hesitate, searching for the right words. “Of knowing they want to be me. Or you.”

His eyes flicker with something dark.

Your cheeks warm slightly, but you don’t back down. “It’s kind of…” You bite your lip, debating how to phrase it.

Harry tilts his head, watching you. Then his smirk makes a slow return, lips curling at the corners.

“Hot?” he supplies, voice low, teasing.

You roll your eyes, but a laugh bubbles out of you. “Yeah.”

The teasing should’ve snapped you both back into that lighthearted playfulness, but it doesn’t. Instead, Harry’s expression shifts again—something even softer slipping through the cracks of his usual confidence.

He lifts his free hand, brushing his fingers over your jaw, tilting your chin up just slightly. His touch is gentle. Like he’s memorizing the shape of you. Like he’s savoring the moment before he even speaks.

And when he finally does, his voice is softer than before.

“It’s not just hot,” he murmurs. “It’s ours.”

The words settle deep in your chest, sinking into your ribs, your bones, everything.

And suddenly, the weight of it hits you—the real reason why you like the idea so much.

It’s not about the money. It’s not even really about the thrill of people watching.

It’s about him.

About the way he sees you. About the way he wants you—completely, wholly, recklessly. About the way he makes you feel like you’re the only thing in the world that matters.

And the idea that anyone else could see even a fraction of that?

It should terrify you.

But instead?

It makes you want him even more.

Harry watches you carefully, his thumb tracing slow, featherlight strokes against your chin, his green eyes searching yours.

You don’t say anything.

You just kiss him.

Slow and deep, with none of the urgency from before. Just the steady, unspoken understanding that whatever this is—whatever you decide—it’s yours.

Only yours.

His lips move against yours in perfect sync, like they were made to fit together. He kisses you like he has all the time in the world—like he’s in no rush to let you go. And for a while, you let yourself get lost in it. In the way his fingers tighten against your waist, in the slow, lazy drag of his tongue against yours, in the warmth of his body pressing into you.

By the time he finally pulls away, your head is spinning, your body impossibly warm beneath the sheets.

Harry smirks, thumb tracing over your swollen lips, his voice nothing more than a slow drag of heat. “That was a yes, by the way.”

You blink at him, still dazed. “What?”

His smirk widens. “That kiss. It was a yes.”

You roll your eyes, shoving at his chest with zero force. “You are so full of yourself.”

He just hums, completely unbothered, stretching his arms over his head before rolling out of bed. “C’mon, angel,” he calls over his shoulder as he heads toward the bathroom. “We need breakfast.”

Breakfast is lazy. The kind where you’re both still moving like you haven’t quite shaken off the night before—bumping into each other in the kitchen, stealing bites off each other’s plates, getting sidetracked when Harry decides he needs to have his hands on you at all times.

He leans against the counter as you make coffee, arms wrapping around your waist from behind, lips trailing over the slope of your shoulder. You roll your eyes but don’t push him away. He steals your toast. You steal it back. He makes some snide comment about how you can barely walk after last night. You kick him in the shin.

It’s easy. Natural. Like the most obscene things didn’t happen between you just hours ago.

By the time you both make it to the couch, your stomachs are full, and the weight of the morning settles over you in that perfect in-between space—where the world is quiet, and neither of you is in a hurry to do anything.

A random show plays on the TV, some series neither of you is really watching, the background noise more of a formality than anything else.

Harry lounges beside you, legs stretched out, one arm draped over the back of the couch. His other hand moves idly over your thigh, tracing patterns against your skin like his body just naturally gravitates toward you.

You lean into him, letting your head rest against his shoulder, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the fabric of his hoodie.

And yet—the conversation still lingers.

Unspoken.

Unfinished.

It’s there in the way he keeps glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, in the way his fingers slow against your thigh, in the way the weight of it presses into the space between you.

You let the silence stretch for a little longer before finally breaking it.

“So… you really think we’d break the internet?”

Harry smirks instantly, like he’s been waiting for this. He turns his head slightly, one eyebrow raising as he meets your gaze.

“Angel,” he says, completely serious, “we’d own the internet.”

You hum, considering. “It’s kind of tempting.”

His smirk twitches slightly, but he doesn’t say anything—just watches you carefully, like he’s waiting for something.

Like he’s waiting for you to make a decision.

But instead of giving him one, you simply smile—a slow, knowing curve of your lips—as you stretch, acting completely unbothered.

Harry’s eyes narrow slightly.

“You’re messing with me.”

“Maybe,” you tease, leaning in just enough to let your lips brush barely against his. “Or maybe I like keeping you on your toes.”

A muscle in his jaw flexes, and you see the way he fights the urge to grab your chin and demand an answer.

And fuck, does that feel good.

For once, he doesn’t have the upper hand. For once, you are the one pulling the strings, making him wait, making him ache for something he wants.

You see it in the way his fingers tighten slightly against your thigh.

In the way his pupils dilate, just a fraction.

In the way his breath comes a little sharper when your lips ghost over his again, still teasing, still refusing to give him exactly what he wants.

You smirk. “Something wrong, H?”

His nostrils flare slightly. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You hum, pretending to think. “Mm… maybe.”

His eyes darken.

And suddenly, you know.

You know exactly where this is going.

Because Harry hates not having control.

And right now?

He doesn’t have it.

But the best part?

You’re not done with him yet.

Not even close.

You push off the couch, stretching as you stand, your back to him.

“You better get some rest, H,” you say casually over your shoulder. “You’re gonna need it.”

Behind you, Harry groans, flopping his head back against the couch, running a hand down his face.

“Fuck me.”

You just laugh.

“Oh, I will.”

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

[part 4 - tommorow!!]

Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️‍🔥

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[atiny-for-life]

Ice On My Teeth - Teaser 1: Observations

Before the MV drops tomorrow, here are some things I already noticed about the teaser:

There's a golden "A" on the building, indicating this is not the Black Pirates' mansion but someone else's. I instinctively wanna say it's Ateez's but they later burn it down so I doubt it.

Also, when we last saw Ateez, they were back in the A-World and all sad and depressed about being apart, so it'll be interesting to see which version of Ateez this is. Are we back in the Z-World? Are we with Halazia's Ateez? It's tough to say just yet.

Also, someone seems to be trying to pull all the furniture through the tiny window on the top floor, though why and how they plan on doing so, I'm not sure.

This guy is a doctor (we see medical equipment in the room he's in) and Yunho's showing him something that has the appearance of a CT scan but shows the mansion instead of a brain.

We see this man again in the second teaser which will explain to us why he looks so nervous here.

Yeosang's inside the mansion (which is architecturally reminiscent of the museum in Strictland - the one from Say My Name) and he's got some masked goons with him who are also depicted on a giant framed picture in the back which is rather peculiar and puts some validity behind the theory of this being a dream/not real.

Or, alternatively, maybe this is another universe or a cult of some kind in which all people are forced to wear masks and this is the cult leader's art collection. I really don't know.

Side-note: I wouldn't be surprised if Yeosang hits this tennis ball in the MV and it turns out to be a grenade or something.

As @yeontan-my-love pointed out to me, the album release date is November 15th, which is likely what Jongho's digital pocket watch here is referring to.

Next we've got one of the many ballerinas we've gotten to see throughout the promo material. And again, we also get to see many paintings featuring masked individuals in the back. This is clearly an unusual museum/art collection, dedicated to all forms of art, not just paintings and sculptures.

We also get to see the ballerina's eye as she's looking at the spinning record of Golden Hour on which Wooyoung then appears in the next shot.

Fur coat wearing Hongjoong is front and center in the next shot, kneeling by a lit fireplace as two cubes appear in the flames in front of him. Not sure what this means yet, but it could be a reference to the phrase "roll of the dice", aka your future is determined by chance.

We then get some flashing text over fur coat wearing San's frame, reading "You the one I'm tryna finish" which is likely a hint at the lyrics.

Dressed up like Zorro, Seonghwa then appears in a hallway as ballerinas run/dance up behind him and hurry past him.

Mingi begins aggressively playing the piano as we show up, which wraps up the individual introductions and, once again, shows this museum's dedication to containing all forms of art.

The words "We don't have time" then keep flashing across the screen as we cut to a scene of Seonghwa going to sit with the other members and their goons outside the mansion/museum, which leads us back to the reason why they're here.

They are on a mission of some kind, perhaps in a shared dream, and they're running out of time to complete it. Whatever that mission may be though, I can't be sure yet, but we get some clues in the second teaser.

Ice On My Teeth - Teaser 2: Observations

We're in the same building but it's now on fire and a painting of two masked people dressed like Victorian royalty is ablaze - the fire was undoubtedly set by Ateez which means they have a strong hatred for everything within this building or what it represents (the hoarding of wealth? the people depicted on the art? the owner of this collection?).

The ballerinas are entirely unperturbed by the flames, as is Seonghwa (which, again, makes it seem more like this might not be real).

Jongho is in an office, a ballerina statue on the desk behind him and a giant clock on the far wall. There's also a golden emblem hung up on the wall which likely matches the one seen on the building's facade.

The record Wooyoung is laying on is now also on fire, but he's unaffected, seemingly even wearing a nightgown. Very cozy, very relaxed.

Yunho is right outside the building amid two walls of fire. Was he the one who set it? Perhaps.

We next get the small piece of choreo we've gotten to see prior to the live stream they did just now in which Hongjoong and Wooyoung showed us a piece of the chorus.

In the back, we here get to see the furniture they dragged outside to burn it.

Next, is the most telling shot to me: the doctor Yunho talked to earlier is being dragged across the driveway outside while Yeosang watches on in the shade of his umbrella, far from shocked.

From this we can derive this guy, this doctor, owns this place. And the scan Yunho showed him earlier? It must have revealed that Ateez know there's something hidden inside the mansion, something this doctor was trying to keep secret, likely something shady, perhaps even illegal.

In the final shot, the mansion has been burnt to the ground and Hongjoong has walked back inside to retrieve a tooth from a lower jaw left behind in the rubble. It must be the thing they were searching for. But why? Is this a CIA kinda tooth which contains a hidden compartment for a cyanide capsule or what? There's no real telling just yet.

Regardless, this is just what I could spot on a closer watch through of the teasers. I'm really excited for the full release tomorrow, especially the MV and the b-sides on the album!

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

The silence that surrounded the couple wasn’t the usual comfortable air, the type of silence where just existing in the same space was enough for them. But this wasn’t it, this was tense, uncertain as they stared at each other, one waiting for the other to speak first, to say something- anything. 

“You can’t come here again” You spoke up first, staring across the entrance of your family's estate. “Kyojuro, listen to me. I am to be married, my family has made the decision and I am to be lady of the Tsugimoto house.” Your face was calm but your eyes spoke so clearly, the tears that were lining your eyes, so close to spilling over, the pleading they held, you didn’t want this.

“You can’t possibly be married, I’ve been courting you” Kyojuro knew how this worked, he followed the advice of his mom, but that was years ago, maybe things changed? 

“Kyojuro” Your voice was weaker seeing the desperation on his face as he took tentative steps towards you. “Please, I am promised to another, we can’t.” Your arms had wrapped around your midsection, holding yourself to stop from crying. Kyojuro’s world was collapsing around him, in that moment he understood why his father had fallen so hard. 2 years he had been courting you, the proposal was going to be in 2 weeks when you came to visit his family, Tengen had been helping to finalize all the details to make the night as romantic as possible. The night you promised to love each other for the rest of your lives.

“No” His voice was wavering, trying to hold back tears as you closed in on yourself, the walls around your heart slamming shut in front of his eyes.

“Kyojuro, please, there is nothing to be done. You need to leave” 

“No, I will not, how much did your family gain? I will double it, triple it even. Please, Y/N.” He was so close now, if he reached out he might be able to graze your arm, maybe even hold you. You had the same realization, stepping back as he stepped forward, a dance of heartbreak instead of love.

“I am to be wed tomorrow, you need to leave this isn’t appropriate.” You were panicked, scared that if he continued you would break, do anything to keep him, but you would risk everything, your family, your security, for what? A man whose job didn’t guarantee his safe return?

“You don’t love him” Kyojuro stopped trying to chase you

“I can learn”

“No, you can’t Y/N, you and I both know that.” He was right, you could never love another the way you loved Kyojuro. He was so easy to love, just being in his presence was enough to leave a smile on your face. “Let me talk to your father, please give me a chance” He was pleading, not above getting on his knees and begging for your hand.

“There will be no need, Rengoku. She is to be wed and it’d be smart for you to accept that and go back to the Demon Slayers. There is no future for you with my daughter. Y/N, inside, Now!” Standing on the engawa was your father, his sharp gaze unwavering from Kyojuro’s own watery gaze. He always scared the flame hashira, no demon could come close to the disdain on your father's face. His gaze softened as he watched you disappear into the house, reluctant and ready to fight but knowing that the past few days since your engagement have been nothing but fighting. “She said she wrote telling you of her engagement, so why are you here?” disgust laced his words like he was spitting at a lowly beggar. 

“I had to see for myself, sir. I had to know that it was true, to hear her say it.” 

“Well? Satisfied?” Kyojuro gave a stiff nod, biting his tongue as our father turned towards the house and left, leaving Kyojuro to pick up the pieces of his heart from the yard and tuck them away safely, making sure not to leave any behind. This would be the last time he was here, the last time he loved because no one else would be you and you weren’t his anymore. Looking up at the house he had spent many nights at, he caught you looking down at him, tears flowing down your cheeks as you looked out your bedroom window, the same one he had snuck through just a week ago. I love you you mouthed before dropping the curtain, disappearing for the last time. 

A/N- This is lowkey shitty but i have zero energy for anything. shout out to chronic pain/illness.

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- A New Baby Pt1

I never thought I'd get married and have kids. I just didn't think that I would ever find a man I'd consider having that kind of life with, but when Kelly Severide stepped into my life everything change. We didn't meet in the best of way. He's a fireman and I'm a police dog handler. There had been a bombing and they asked me to send my search and rescue dogs in. I fell for the guy there and then.

5 years on and we are married and have a beautiful daughter who's just turned 3 named Harper.

Today I woke up feeling off. Headache and nausea on and off. I have today off from work which is fantastic, but also my daughter is here and as much as I love her she can be an absolute nightmare

"Harper can you pick your toys up please"

"No thank you mommy" at least she's using her manners right?

"Harper. Daddy won't be happy when he comes home"

"Daddy loves me so he won't shout" Harper shrugs and she's right. She's a daddy's girl and she has him wrapped round her little finger. I'm always the bad guy and that's fine this is our dynamic, but sometimes it would be good to get a little help off him

"Right come on pick the toys up before someone hurts themselves"

"But I'm playing with them mommy"

"Harper I'm not feeling very well so please pick up your toys. I'll help, but your not getting anything else out until these toys are put away"

"Fine" Harper shouts and I rub my head as a headache begins again.

Once all the toys have been picked up I sit down on the couch and close my eyes for a moment

"Mommy?"

"Yes princess?" I open one eye to look at her

"When's dinner?"

"When daddy gets home"

"When's that?"

"Soon" I reply "I'm going to take a nap. You know the rules"

"Don't unlock the door and daddy has a key to get in. Can I play upstairs?"

"Yes, but don't run"

Before I know it I'm being woken up by Kelly's voice and touch. I open my eyes and see Kelly smiling at me

"When did you get home?" I yawn

"Just. How long have you been asleep?"

"Not long" I reply glancing at the clock "how was work today?"

"The usual, how was Harper?"

"Giving me hell"

"You made any supper?"

"No not yet" I shake my head

"I'll order us some food instead. What do you fancy?"

"To be honest Kel, I don't feel to good. Think I might be coming down with something. Just order yourself and Harper something"

"You need to eat. Even if it's just some rice or something"

"Ok" I give in to Kelly. 

Once our food has arrived we all sat down together. I take small bites of food and small sips of water

"So Harper. Have you been a good girl for mommy today?" Kelly asks. Harper lowers her head a little

"I wasn't naughty and mommy has been lazy today"

"Mommy said she isn't feeling very well so you need to be a big girl and help her"

"But..."

"No buts. Now eat your food and then it's bath then bed time"

"Fine" Harper pouts and takes her time eating her tea trying to make her bedtime later.

Once the Harper is in bed me and Kelly curl up on the sofa together watching TV. I swallow feeling more and more nauseous until I can't keep it down any more and the urge to throw up over comes me. I jump off the couch and run to the downstairs bathroom, Kelly following behind me.

Once I finish throwing up Kel and I head upstairs to bed

"You feeling any better?" Kelly asks as I change into one of his shirts

"Yeah. The nauseas gone now. Im just super tired. I've had a headache all day so its probably that that's made me sick"

"Maybe your pregnant" Kelly says. I roll my eyes at him

"I'm not pregnant"

"Are you sure because we're not very carful" Kelly states and to be fair he's got a point "you've been tired all week. We said if you were to get pregnant we'd be happy"

"Of course I would be, but had my period 2 weeks ago"

"Could be 2 weeks pregnant"

"Kel I'm not pregnant" I sigh getting into bed

"This is exactly what you were like with Harper"

"If it makes you feel any better I'll take a test tomorrow"

"Ok" Kelly kisses the top of my head and then wraps his arm around my waist and we both fall asleep.

[thetriumphantpanda]

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter 2)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller. 

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 3K

Warnings / Descriptions of grief and depression, soft!Joel (He needs his own warning I swear), slow burn but nothing else

Authors Note / I AM SO OVERWHELMED FOR THE LOVE FOR CHAPTER ONE. I'm so glad you guys have enjoyed it so far. This fic is incredibly personal to me. I've not lost a husband or a boyfriend (apart from a typical breakup) but over the recent years I've lost several family members so grief is close to me. I hope you enjoy chapter two - if you like it then comments, reblogs and asks are always helpful - thanks as always for your support of my writing.

Main Masterlist / Series Masterlist

The sun is only starting to colour the sky when you wake that morning. It’s already warm in your bedroom, sheets pushed to one side and that’s when you realise why you’ve woken. Leg draped over the mound of sheets, hand resting on the empty side of the bed, head rested on the pillow that isn’t yours. Because it feels like him. You roll over onto your back and drape your arm over your eyes, letting the pressure bring you back to the real world. 

Once you were sure your breathing was somewhere close to normal, you push yourself off the bed and pad down the hallway to the bathroom. You turn on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up before you step under the spray. There’s something about this routine that helps ground you too. Counting the steps in your mind, ticking them off the to-do list. Shampoo hair. Done. Condition ends. Done. Scrub skin. Done. Brush teeth. Done.

By the time you’re setting the coffee to filter, you’ve already made it to sunrise, and you haven’t cried. It’s not healthy, and you know it, but this little competition with yourself helps, seeing how far you can make it through the day without thoughts so deep you have to pack yourself back to bed to try again tomorrow. 

Sitting on the bench on the front porch, it’s still quiet. The only people milling about the street were the people heading out on patrol, swapping with those who were coming back. No-one paid you much mind, sitting by yourself, mug cradled in your hands, which was the way you preferred it. You sat there, watching the sky changing colour as the sun rose in earnest, until you could see Maria in the distance, walking towards you. You gave her a small wave, taking your mug inside before grabbing what you needed. Ration cards. Yes. Keys. Yes. Shopping bag. Yes. 

“Good morning, honey.” She greets, kiss pressed to your cheek and arms pulling you into a hug. 

You wish her a good morning whilst you wrap your arms around her. She’d been your strength this past year. Never pushing you more than she thought you could take, always there when you needed her shoulder to cry on. She’d fed you for the first few months when you couldn’t bear to cook yourself. She truly was the best friend you’d ever had. 

You fell into a comfortable silence as you made your way to the market hall. At one point, you wouldn’t have let go of Maria’s arm, but now, you were happy to walk alongside her, hands shoved into the pockets of your jeans. They were small steps, but steps in the right direction none-the-less. 

Halfway to the market hall, you could see Joel walking towards you from the other direction. Gun slung over his shoulder, he looks as though he’s just coming back from patrol. 

“Good mornin’, ladies,” He greets, “Going anywhere nice?” 

“Just to the market,” Maria replies, “Good patrol?” 

“Uneventful, so I guess you could say so,” He turns to you now, “I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to come by and sort that table out for you, I’m off tomorrow, how about I swing by then?” 

You smile and nod, “Of course, whenever is good for you.” 

He bids you both goodbye, he’d been up all night patrolling the walls and was ready to collapse, and when you began walking again, you could feel Maria’s eyes on you and the slight smirk on her mouth. It wasn’t until you were picking up a bowl of tomatoes that she decided to press the subject. 

“Joel making himself at home then?” 

“He just fixed one of my steps is all,” You replied, refusing to meet her eyes, “And then I asked him to build the table and chairs I wanted, and he agreed.” 

She pursed her lips and nodded, but the smirk was still across her lips, “I know what you’re thinking!” You exclaim, moving to walk down the aisle from her, she jogs to catch up, “It’s nothing Maria, and it’s shameful of you to suggest otherwise, it’s barely been a year.” 

“I’m sorry,” She speaks softly, taking hold of your arm, “That was wrong of me, what I really meant was that it’s nice that you’re getting back out there, making friends, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.” 

“No, I’m sorry for snapping,” You sigh, raking a hand through your hair. 

Maria presses a hand to your shoulder in comfort, “Let’s finish up here and get you home.” 

You nod and spend the rest of your time in the market in silence. You pick up more fresh strawberries, along with the rest of your essentials. Maria helps you drop everything in your kitchen when you return and gives you another strong hug, “I’m sorry honey, about earlier, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was assuming anything.” 

“It’s honestly fine Maria,” You reassured, putting the flour and honey you’d bought in one of your cupboards, “I’m trying,” You sighed, “Just trying to get back to living, and he was nice to me, I’m not interested in anything else but it sure would be nice to have another friend.” 

She nods in understanding, “You know, for the longest time I hated him,” She speaks quietly, “When I met Tommy, the stories he told me, the things they’d both done to get to where they were, I thought he was a terrible person, but the more time I’ve spent with him, I know deep down he has a good heart, I think he might be good for you,” She says, “As a friend, of course.” She adds finally. 

She leaves you then and suddenly it feels empty in your home. It always does. There is no sound of warm laughter, no sound of another pair of boots on the wooden floor. It’s the quiet that really tightens your chest these days. You look to the stairs; it would be so easy to climb them and collapse into bed right now. Ignore your feelings for a while. Maybe fall into a dreamless sleep and just try again tomorrow. Your feet are almost carrying you before you stop yourself. Not today, you think. It’s not going to get the better of you today. Your eyes fall to the fresh box of strawberries on your counter and you’re moving before you realise what you’re doing. 

An hour later, there’s a fresh strawberry pie cooling on the side. It was a frivolous use of your flour and butter ration, but the smell of the pastry reminds you of your mother. She always had some kind of fresh pie cooling on the side when you came home from school. Always served it with ice cream after dinner. Mark was always pragmatic with rations; he would have never let you use your feeble allowance on such a thing. You’d always used the flour for bread, butter was saved for making sandwiches, or spreading on the last slices on the weekend when you toasted it as a treat. 

Looking at the pie, you know you should feel silly, but you don’t. You feel proud of yourself. You can almost hear Mark’s voice in your head, he’d call you a silly girl, but he wouldn’t mean it. He’d chastise you for wasting your resources, but with a smile on his face. And then he would gladly take the slice you offered him. He’d kiss you with sugary lips and wipe the flour from your cheeks. Doing something he wouldn’t approve of was good, surely? Moving on, in a tiny step, to making your own life. 

There’s a feeling of guilt beneath you though, looking at the pie. You can’t bring yourself to cut a slice. Can’t bring yourself to feel the joy of the fruit in your mouth. How silly to think that one simple thing could fix you. You shake your head and leave it cooling on the side, curling into the couch, reading the same page of the same book you’ve had on the coffee table for months. 

*

Joel knocks on your door at 11am the next morning. He’s alone again, toolbox in hand, letting you know that he’s given Ellie to Maria and Tommy for the day, something about teaching her to ride horses. You lead him through the house and out back, leaving him to set himself up for the day. 

You make two cups of coffee, remembering he likes his black. You add a splash of milk to yours. The milk is so fresh from the cows on the farm that you must scoop a layer of cream off the top. You would normally scoop it off and eat it straight from the spoon, but there’s too much today, so you scoop it into a small glass, taking the mugs to the back porch where Joel is measuring up the wood. You set his mug down on the porch railing, taking your own in your hands as you sit down on the floor, back against the wall just to the left of the back door. 

The sun is shining again, warming your arms. You lean your head back and close your eyes, taking in slow, deep breaths. 

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me, are you?” 

You open your eyes and look at him without moving your head, “Depends how exciting your conversation is going to be today.” You tease. 

He smiles and turns his attention back to sawing a piece of wood to size, “What did you do before all this?” 

You scoff a little, “I was about to start my second year at college, seems like a huge waste of fucking time now, the inheritance money wasted on half a degree.” 

“Well, that money would still be pretty useless now anyway,” He shrugs, “What did you study?” 

You have to hand it to him, he’s not wrong, “Drama,” You laugh, “Thought I was going to be a big star, already had that Oscars acceptance speech written up here.” You tap one of your temples. 

“Who were you going to thank?” 

“My parents mainly, although they were already both gone by the time I’d started studying, all the usuals, my agent, the academy, everyone who ever told me I couldn’t do it.” 

He chuckles, “You definitely had it all figured out.” 

A comfortable silence falls between you as you finish up your coffee. The wood of the decking is hard on your back and you shift uncomfortably, moaning a little in pain when you sit further to one side than the other, your lower back aching slightly, “You know you don’t have to sit out here with me if it’s uncomfortable right?” 

“I know,” You respond simply, “It’s just nice to have company.” 

“You don’t have other friends here?” He asks, hammering some nails into a piece of wood. 

You shake your head, “I guess I did when we first came here, but Mark was always the more likeable of us, people gravitated towards him and I guess when you spend a year wallowing in your own self-pity, people get pretty tired of telling you the same things over and over again in the hopes you’ll snap out of it.” 

He nods, “When I lost Sarah, I remember the overwhelming feeling of pointlessness,” He’s not looking at you as he’s speaking, focusing his attention on what you think is becoming a chair, “She’d been my whole life for so long that I just didn’t know what the point was without here, especially in this new world,” You hum in agreement, “And the fact that the healing is never linear, you know?” You hum again, “It’s been twenty years and I still have days where it’s overwhelming, but they become few and far between – I’ll never forget her, but remembering her gets easier, and I bet it will for you as well.” 

You lean your head back against the siding of your house, “You sound just like my therapist,” You point out, “She keeps telling me that I need to find something new to keep living for, but how do I do that was he was the only family I ever really had?” 

Joel stops for a moment, picking up his mug of coffee to drain it, “Family is a strange old thing,” He finally speaks, “Sure, Tommy is my brother, but Maria? Ellie? I found them; you’ve just got to find your new family.” 

“You’re a very wise man, Joel Miller.” 

“I think I’ve just lived a longer life, sweet pea.” 

The rest of the day continues in much the same way. Snippets of conversation, moments of silence, at one point you get up to water the plants as the midday sun makes way for the dip in temperature for the early afternoon. Joel is a fast but competent worker and as the sun is beginning to set, you have four new chairs dotted around the decking. 

“You wanna test them out?” He asked, dropping the last of his tools into the box. 

You nod, walking the one that’s closest to you, before gingerly setting yourself down on it as if it might collapse under you, “Come on, I’m a professional, have some faith in me.” Joel murmurs as he watches you slowly lower yourself onto it. 

He’s right, it doesn’t collapse. The way he’s built them mean there’s a slight slant to the backrest, meaning you can lean your head back and fully relax when you sit. You can’t deny that he’s done a fantastic job. 

“These are great Joel, thank you,” You say, standing back up, “Sit down, I’ve got something to say thank you.” 

You disappear into the kitchen as Joel lowers himself onto one of the chairs. He can’t deny he’s done a good job either, maybe he’ll have to make something similar for him and Ellie. He’s already trying to figure out where he might find the wood for his own project when you’re back on the decking with two plates in your hand. 

“Is that pie?” He asks as you hand him a plate. 

“It is indeed,” You confirm, sitting in the chair next to him with your own plate, “I made it yesterday in an attempt to avoid going to bed at 12pm, you’re lucky that there was cream on the milk too.” You smile, pointing a finger to the sliver of cream you’d divided onto each slice. 

“I can’t remember the last time I had anything like this,” He muses, sliding his fork through the end of his slice before eating it, “Jesus Christ, that’s good.” 

You chuckle, doing the same to your slice. You had to admit it was pretty good for a rudimentary baking job, the fruit was sweet and you’d managed to make the pastry pretty well too, “I actually can’t remember the last time I had anything like this either,” You take another bite, “I was thinking yesterday as I was making it that Mark would have been cross that I’d used our butter and flour ration to make pastry.” 

“I bet once he tried it though he would have forgiven you,” Joel replies, “No-one can be mad for long when it tastes this good.” 

You smile to yourself and spend the rest of the time it takes to eat in silence. You sit for a while before Joel’s hand comes into view, he gently takes the plate from your hand and stands, “I better go and get Ellie, she’s probably driving Tommy and Maria up the wall with questions,” He chuckles, “Let me wash these first though.” 

You follow him through to the kitchen and cut another slice of pie whilst he rinses the dishes, “Take this for Ellie,” You implore as he’s stood in your kitchen with his toolbox about to leave, “I bet she’s never had something like this.” 

He takes the plate gratefully in his other hand, “Listen, I don’t want to step over a line, but I was wonderin’ if you maybe wanted to join me for a drink sometime?”

Almost immediately there’s a sense of panic rising in your throat as you imagine what he’s asking for in your mind. If he’s asking you to The Tipsy Bison, you can already feel the eyes boring into you and the whispers from everyone else. If he’s asking you to go to his place for a drink does that mean he’s asking you on a date? You wring your hands together in front of you and you can tell he can sense your internal battle. 

“Just as a friend,” He reassures, “I hope you don’t mind but Tommy told me you don’t really like goin’ anywhere anymore, and well, I just don’t think it’s right, for you to feel like you have to stay here all the time, I promise I won’t let anythin’ bad happen to you, sweet pea.” 

You think back to the conversation with your therapist from last week. She’d ask you what you’d done to challenge yourself recently and you had nothing to offer her. She’s suggested that you really did need to try to start ‘reintegrating’ yourself back into the community, or there would come a time where you simply couldn’t. She’d challenged you to try going to the market on your own one day without Maria, or to go for a walk through the town on your own, just one thing before you met her next that would push you out of your comfort zone and make you realise that you could do it. 

“Okay,” You agree, “But if something bad does happen, you’re taking the blame, alright?” 

“If I had a free hand, I would cross my heart,” He smiles, “How about tomorrow night?” 

Tomorrow night. Not quite enough time to convince yourself it was a bad idea and hide yourself away. The sooner you went, the sooner it would be over, so you nod in agreement. Joel arranges to drop by at six and pick you up and then he was gone, and your house yet again felt as empty as always. It was getting dark outside, an acceptable time to call it a night and crawl into bed.  

PREV / NEXT

[felixsramen]

Yours Truly

This is part 9 of my Skz poly fic. I hope you guys know how much the sweet comments you leave mean to me. I'm going to release part 10 either tomorrow or soon because I left it on a weird note only because it felt like I made it long.

Previous<<<<< Next>>>>>

You had waken up laying in your bed. You don't remember getting there but you assumed Changbin probably put you in it. You look at the time. 11:32am. Normally you would've been alarmed by the time and scrambled to get dress but instead you realize that today you were off work due to reconstruction on the new floor being built. You'd probably be off work for a week though considering they want to finish building the new floor.

You do however wonder where Jisung and Changbin had gone off to. Maybe Jisung wasn't right about not just wanting to fuck you. You had gotten in your feelings at this point but went to the kitchen knowing you needed to eat something.

You run a hand through your messy hair. You want to cry at this point. Yet on the refrigerator you see a note.

'There was an emergency at work. We didn't want to leave you. Ji told me everything you had told him. I hope you know we do care about you probably more than you'll ever know. Meet us at the park downtown at 7? We hope you show up. It's a date btw.' Below it read Changbin.

You had made up your mind already. You were going to show up even though there was that little voice in your mind that kept telling you it was too good to be true. You shut off that part of your mind instead deciding to grab the milk from your fridge and grab cereal from one of your cabinets.

When you had finished eating that's when the nerves got to you. You were nervous about it. Nervous that you'd mess it up. Nervous that the date would be awkward. But deep down you knew that neither would happen considering you had breakfast with 8 guys which 2 of you had slept with a week earlier and they talked as if you were a friend.

Not only that you had sucked Felix off on his birthday and then the next morning had breakfast again with the 8 and had gotten teased for it as if you were a friend.

The one thing that had gotten you was friend. They saw you as a friend at that point. Now you were going as a date.

You had thought about this all day even as you finished some of the papers for work. It had turned 6:10 without you realizing and you start panicking. You hurry through your closet searching for anything that would go with your date.

Finally after throwing half your closet on the ground you find clothes and hurry to the bathroom changing as quick as you can.

You check your phone. It reads 6:30. You were glad the park downtown was only 20 minutes away.

You were surprised you hadn't slipped on your clothes on the way out. You knew that's what you'd be doing when you got home.

You grabbed your phone and got into your car. Heading to downtown.

You finally pull up at 6:52. You see all of them walking and laughing. No one else around. You figured it'd be like that considering no one comes to the park this late.

Seungmin is the one who noticed you coming up to you first. "We thought you weren't coming for a second." He says and you shake your head.

"Definitely not. I kinda got wrapped up in some work and before I knew it it was already 6:10." You say explaining and Seungmin smiles nodding.

"Well come on. Don't just stand there. We're out here for a walk." Seungmin says grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards the members.

"Look who I found." Seungmin says and all the boys attention comes to you.

"Hi Y/N!" Jeongin says while on Minhos back waving at you.

"Hi." You say waving back.

"Glad you made it." Chan says dimples showing as he smiles.

"I thought you were going to leave us here all by ourselves." Jisung says pretending to pout.

Felix hits him on the back of the head. "Quit being weird." Felix says and you laugh. Felix smiles at you.

"I'll show you weird!" Jisung says wrestling Felix to the ground.

"Can the two of you act like you have some kind of common sense." Hyunjin says rolling his eyes and that's before Felix and Jisung both tackle Hyunjin to the ground.

The boys laugh and you laugh along as Jisung and Felix gang up on Hyunjin tickling him.

"That's not why we're here though. So come on let's get up. We're supposed to be on a nice walk for our date." Changbin says reminding the boys who laugh as they pull away from Hyunjin and stand up with the help of Changbin.

"I hate you guys." Hyunjin says and the boys laugh.

"We love you too Jinnie." Felix replies and kisses Hyunjin.

Felix pulls away and you can see the faint blush from Hyunjin. "Yeah yeah. Whatever." Hyunjin says as Felix intertwines his hand with Hyunjins. Jisung intertwines Hyunjins other hand with his.

As you guys start walking and talking you end up beside Minho carrying Jeongin.

"Do you like it?" Minho asks you.

"Like what? Going for a walk?" You ask him back and he nods.

"I like it. I've never been on a walk as a first date." You say thinking about all the first dates you'd been on.

"Are you enjoying it?" I.N. asks and you nod.

"I think it's a good first date. I've been on many bad first dates. This is probably my favorite first date." You tell them.

They both nod. "What's your worst first date?" Minho asks you and you have to think through all the bad first dates you had been on.

"Probably the one where the dude I was talking to showed up with a wedding ring on his finger. He was divorced but he liked keeping his wedding ring on in hopes his ex wife would come back to him. Then he cried in front of me while telling me about how much he missed his ex wife" You say remembering it rather clearly.

You can see Minho and I.N. cringe at the thought. "Have either of you had as bad as of first dates?" You ask and I.N. shakes his head. Minho nods though.

"One guy that had asked me out on a date showed up terribly dressed. Not only terribly dressed all he did was talk about his mom. How much he loved her and how much he cares for her. I left that date fast and deleted his number. I'm not into mamas boys." Minho says and I.N. laughs. You can't help but laugh at his last sentence.

"Well I'm glad I'm not the only one." You say smiling.

"Do you guys mind if I asked how you all got together?" You ask them.

"Well it's kinda complicated." Minho says.

Chan looks over to you guys now listening to you and his boyfriends conversations.

"We first met through our work." Minho says not sure where to start.

Minho looks to Chan who sees Minho struggling on where to even start. "Like he said we met through work. Our company. I had been there for a while." He says remembering it.

"Then later came the others first Ji then Innie followed by Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin and lastly Minho." Chan says.

"We clicked instantly." Chan says and you nod understanding that.

"Minho and Jisung had gotten together first though." Chan says and Minho nods remembering first being in a relationship with just Jisung.

"Then came Changbin and Felix." Chan says and you look over to Felix and Changbin who are currently talking.

"Then it was me and Seungmin." I.N. says and Seungmin nods.

"Then you and Hyunjin?" You ask Chan. He chuckles but he shakes his head.

"Surprisingly no. Hyunjin had shown interest in Minho and Jisung." Chan says and Hyunjin looks in his direction but goes back to talking with Jisung.

"So you were left alone?" You ask him and he shakes his head again smiling.

"Changbin came to me saying his boyfriend took an interest in me." Chan says remembering how awkward it was when Changbin told him.

"Then not too long after that Felix came up to me surprising me. He asked me on a date." Chan says.

"At first I was against the idea. But what did I have to lose? So I showed up for it." Chan says shrugging.

"And he loved it." Changbin says kissing Chans cheek.

Chan smiles at his boyfriends sweet gesture. "Of course I did. Then after the first date we went on more. Eventually they had asked me to be their boyfriend. I was really into them so I agreed." Chan says.

"Me, Felix, and Bin all were always around each other though. They knew about Felix and Bin but didn't know about me. They just thought I was a close friend." Chan says shrugging.

"That's when one day Jisung, Minho, and Hyunjin asked me to go drinking with them. I agreed. I had let Felix and Bin know that I'd be home late. That night ended with Jisung drunkenly kissing me. I kissed him back. Once I realized what I had done I felt terrible. Hyunjin and Minho just watched not doing anything. I immediately went home to Felix and Bin." Chan says sighing at the memory.

"I was scared. Terrified that they'd break up with me. Felix and Bin stayed up waiting for me and I came in distraught. They were concerned for me and I broke down in front of them. I told them about Jisung kissing me. They didn't freak out or get mad. I was confused you know. Felix asked me if I liked Jisung. At that time I didn't know. Changbin then asked if I still loved them and of course I did. That's why I felt so bad so I told them I love them more than anything. Felix and Changbin reassured me it was fine then." Chan says looking at the boys who are now invested in the story.

"The next morning Felix and Bin told me they'd love me no matter who I'd love as long as I loved them. That was my reassurance. When we had gone to work Jisung barely looked in my direction obviously embarrassed about what he did the night before. It was Jisung though who had came up to me asking me out to dinner with him and his boyfriends. I looked over at Felix and Bin and they met me with smiles so I said yes. That night Hyunjin, Minho, and Jisung had all shown up. Of course during the night I had let them know I had boyfriends. They all seemed disappointed but I told them that it was Bin and Lix who encouraged me to come on the date." Chan says.

"We were very disappointed." Jisung adds.

"Can he finish the story?" Seungmin asks his older boyfriend and Jisung nods pouting. Seungmin kisses his lips. Jisung stops pouting and smiles at his boyfriend. It was always such a cute sight to see.

Taglist: @queenmea604 @lolareadsimagines @tinyworld18 @liv302 @jinniespuppy @stephy-nicole13 @haikyuuisposts @freyaniobe @chansbabygirlsstuff @jkookiejiminlvr @hyuneyeon @aerisho @sirenthalia @nagadiluc @tenshimara @leeknowleeknow @boi-bi-ahaha @shltsnglggles @jfkedldndkd @tinystarsthing @armystay89 @baby-fairy-yas @haileybugulug

[luis-serra-kennedy]

okay bear in mind my co writer for this has been a strong painkiller it's raw a little rough around the edges yknow but it's Serrennedy being terminally stupid and Leon crying a lot and Luis's grandfather yelling at him for being a slut and awake but sweet family time (also pregnancy tests taking 2 hours for results is historically accurate, this AU is set a few years before the quicker/easier ones were a thing)

“Go away, Luis!” Leon barks when Luis knocks on the bedroom door. “I'm done trying to eat your shitty cooking and I'd rather die in this goddamn bed than let you drag me to a hospital. Fuck Spain. Again.”

“I'm not trying to make you eat or go to the hospital anymore, I promise. I have a surprise for you. If I can come in?”

“Fine. Whatever. It's your house.”

“I'm hoping something more familiar might stay down better than what I've been trying to feed you?” Leon sits up and accepts the bag of food, McDonald's, as a peace offering, with a small smile. Luis just stands by the bed awkwardly while Leon starts eating. “Can I sit? Or do you still need space? I think we need to talk about something, if you're not feeling too horrible right now.”

“Yeah, you can sit,” Luis sits on the bed next to Leon, but still keeps a little bit of distance between them. “I know why you want to talk.”

“Oh. You do? That makes this easier.”

“Yeah. You want to break up because I suck at being a boyfriend. Dead bedroom for weeks because I haven't been in the mood. You take me to Spain with all these grand plans. I get sick and fuck it all up. Your grandpa's so important to you and I know you thought he'd like me, but he doesn't. He hates me because I'm just hiding in here instead of even trying to spend time with him.”

“Don't be stupid. He doesn't hate you,” Something about Luis's demeanor is just a little bit different from when he left, but Leon can't quite figure out what it is. “And I'm definitely not going to dump you. I'd marry you tomorrow, if it weren't for the headache the tabloids would make of it.”

When Leon finishes up his food, he scoots over and starts ramming his head against Luis's shoulder. Luis wasn't willing to make the first move and touch Leon, afraid it might piss him off again. But with Leon taking initiative with the ramming, Luis finally feels comfortable wrapping an arm around Leon's back and kissing the top of his head.

Luis smells so fucking good. He must have bought a new cologne or something. He's never smelled bad, aside from after smoking, but he's never smelled so good that he wants to sit and huff his clothes for hours. Suddenly Leon is crying, just because the smell is way too good. No, there is no way he's crying over that, there has to be something else. Maybe he's still worried he's going to get dumped, because he doesn't understand how Luis is being so nice to him when he's spent the past two days screaming at Luis to fuck off and saying he hates Spain. He should be getting yelled at right now, not getting a gentle arm around him and the top of his head kissed.

“Are you sure you don't want to break up with me?”

“I'm sure. I promise. And don't you dare try and say you're sorry for how you've been acting. I… Uh, I think it actually may be my fault…”

“Shut up. You tried. When I threw up a couple days before we left, you were the one trying to talk me out of going, and I said it felt like some random freak thing and I'd be fine. Really thought it was. You had no idea the travel would make me sicker and bitchier.”

“I'm not sure this is actually about the travel… I didn't go out just to get you food. I, ah, I was talking to my grandfather and he made what he thought was a joke about you, but it really wasn't a joke like he thought.”

“He made a joke about me? You said he didn't hate-”

“Don't cry, mi amor. He doesn't hate you. What he said, along the lines of it seeming like he would be a great grandfather if I had brought a girlfriend home instead, because your moods and nausea were reminding him of when my mother was pregnant with me. Suddenly I felt like an idiot, because the boyfriend I brought home could have been pregnant. I got you pregnant,” If the words were coming from anyone other than Luis, they'd just send a wave of dread through Leon. But it's Luis... “I mean, I think I did. I'm not certain, but I bought some tests for you to take. But I'm pretty sure.”

“Okay.” Leon says, still processing things, not sure what else to say.

“Okay? I thought you'd be freaking out a little more. Or maybe that's just because I'm freaking out and projecting on you. Or maybe… you are freaking out on the inside and just hiding it, you are the strong, silent type, aren't you? No matter, just go take the tests, no point worrying until we know for sure.”

“Just shut up and give me the fucking tests! These stupid things are like two hours, I need to get this show on the road.”

Leon doesn't exit the bathroom immediately after getting the kits set up. He gives himself a minute to be emotional and shed a few tears. And question why the fuck he desperately wants these pregnancy tests to be positive. It has to be because it'll make things make sense. He's not dying, just pregnant. Yeah, that's it. He just wants the simple, straightforward explanation for all his symptoms.

Luis is waiting for him right outside the door when he finally leaves.

“You got the tests set up okay?”

“Yeah! I'm not an idiot, I can follow basic fucking directions. Not even the first time I've used one of these. I'm gonna go lay down. Alone.”

“Okay. Do you want me to come let you know when the tests are ready?” Leon nods. “If you need anything sooner, just yell and I'll come.”

All of Leon's energy disappears when his head hits the pillow. Those tests better be positive, because if he isn't pregnant, he's probably dying or something. He's never felt this exhausted. Even with his head spinning with anxiety, he falls asleep quickly. He's out cold until some knocks on the door wake him up and he shouts that Luis can come in.

“So the tests are done?”

“Yes,” Luis is back to being incredibly cautious, so he walks into the room but doesn't sit down or try to touch Leon. “I think this is good news. You're not sick, you're not being a shitty boyfriend, you're just,” Luis has to pause because he's getting choked up. “Carrying my baby, mi amor. We're having a baby.”

“No we're not! Right now you're at the peak of your career. You've got so much shit you need to do, and you also deserve some time to just enjoy your success without more responsibilities piled on your plate. I'm not having your baby right now, I don't want to feel guilty about ruining your life.”

“Do you remember our first night together? Because I do, every second. I came in my pants on your motorcycle, then I gave you the best head of your life, and then, most importantly, we got high and talked. You said that my album better be a success, so that I could buy you a big house and we could start having kids soon. And I said that if you were really being serious, I'd make it happen within a year. I'd buy a house and we could start trying ASAP, sooner if the album was a hit and I got a big check, a bit later if I only had the acting money to rely on. I was being serious. You're way more important than my career, don't even think about it. I want a baby as soon as you're ready for one. If you want this now…” Luis smiles and tucks a lock of Leon's hair behind his ear and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, short but sweet. “Then this is the happiest day of my life. But if this is too soon for you, that's okay. I can be patient. I stuck it out a decade before success in music, I can stick it out a year for a baby.”

“I'm ready. Been ready since you bought the house, talking about how perfect it would be for having kids. I know you'll be a good dad, all I fucking want right now is to see you holding a baby, our baby, and looking at her life she's the only thing in the world and singing to her and…” Leon is softly crying again. “But I'm so scared this is too early and I'll never get to see that because you're just going to resent us for fucking your life up and you're not going to hold her like that and sing, you won't love her like you're supposed to.”

“Her? Her. You want a girl. Me too. If you're having a girl, she's going to be my little princess. Everything she wants. Whole wardrobe of princess clothes, cutest nursery money can buy, I'll be playing with Barbies and having tea parties everyday,” There's so much warmth in Luis's voice that Leon would have no trouble believing he meant it, if it weren't for the fact that Luis was also an actual actor too. He's still pretty sure Luis means it, just not quite certain. “Same goes for if it's a boy. I don't care what the baby's like. Girl or boy. Playing with action figures or dolls. Football or ballet. Whatever they're into, I'll be into. I'll love them the way I'm supposed to. I promise. I already do.”

“Okay,” Leon says, tears finally slowing. “We're having a baby. In… Shit, how long? You remember how long it's been since I let you top?”

“About a week shy of two months,” Luis says with no delay. Leon gives him a questioning look. “I have a very good memory when it comes to things I've done with you. To you. Things you've done to me. You. I love you.”

“You better love me. I'm giving birth to your kid in seven months. Christ. This is real. You should go tell him he'll be a great grandpa.”

“Leon, are you sure?”

“Uh, if you think he'll take it well. I know it's a lot to drop on him. First you bring home a boyfriend to meet him and he thinks he's never getting great grandkids, now he's learning that somehow you've got a pregnant boyfriend. You can ease him into it instead of telling him now. Or just never tell him. Say I'm really just sick, in seven months call him and say we had a kid from a surrogate. I don't want to fuck up your relationship with him.”

“Lying to him would fuck things up far more than the truth. He'll take it fine. Probably better than he took it when I turned 18 and told him I was moving to France to be a musician instead of applying to med school! But seriously, please don't worry. He's not going to hate you because of this, he's not like that. I promise it will go fine.”

Leon is curled up in a ball sobbing and hyperventilating when Luis comes back to the bedroom, because it did not go fine. Leon doesn't know how bad, but he knows it was bad. All he could hear was a lot of very angry sounding Spanish from the other side of the door. Luis's arms are around him almost superhumanly fast.

“Shh, you're okay, you're safe. I'm here. Everything is okay. Can you talk to me?”

“I just hate yelling,” Leon wraps his arms around Luis and squeezes tight, nails digging into the skin of Luis's back, probably hard enough to hurt him. But the squeezing and Luis's scent are enough to ground him so he can try to breathe normally and talk. “Bad memories.”

“I'm sorry. I got yelled at, but that's okay. No one is yelling at you. No one is mad at you. Don't worry about a thing.”

“I know no one yelled at me, that's the problem. I hate other people yelling. Reminds me of when I was a kid.”

“Do you want to talk about it? Or I can just hold you, or distract you, or-”

“My parents. Bio parents. Their marriage was fucked. They screamed at each other all the time. I'd hide in my closet and cover my ears but I could still hear them. Sometimes they'd throw shit at each other. They didn't yell at me. Just each other, but it was still scary. That's what I think about when I hear someone yelling. Someone yelling at you. Being a scared kid in a closet, helpless. Break up with me. I can't be the reason someone's yelling at you. Just find a girl to get pregnant so you'll have his approval.”

Leon isn't being entirely truthful. He was frequently the target of his father's anger, any time his mom got fed up and stormed out. Krauser liked yelling at him too. But Luis doesn't need to know that right now. Leon already feels too exposed just talking about his parents yelling at each other, he doesn't want to spill anything more. Luis will have to know eventually, when something else inevitably breaks him again, but not right now.

“No. No, no, no, no, no. I love you more than anything. We're having a baby together! You are not a wedge between us. He doesn't disapprove of you. He's just pissed at me for repeating one of my deadbeat father's mistakes and accidentally getting someone pregnant. Most of the yelling was just about how I better step up and take damn good care of you, and he'll never want to see my face again if I walk out on you or don't treat you well enough. He is happy too, excited that he will be a great grandfather. Just disappointed in me because he raised me to be more careful and plan before starting a family, not to make a stupid mistake like accidentally getting someone I hadn't even been dating long pregnant.”

“It's not your fault. I told you not to worry about pregnancy, you were only careless because I told you to be.”

“I should have realized sooner. For weeks you've seemed… Different. Eating more, taking naps, and your whole demeanor has just seemed off. I noticed all these things, why didn't I realize what it all meant? I'm so damn stupid. If I had just put the pieces together sooner, you would be home right now.”

“I noticed too. I just pretended none of it was real and tried to power through it because I assumed I was getting sick and couldn't handle that and hoped if I kept my head in the sand I'd magically feel better. Pregnancy wasn't on my radar, I mean I really thought those damn pills would work-” Leon suddenly stops talking and pulls away from Luis. “Fuck.”

Luis knows what's happening immediately, but even with lightning fast reflexes, he can't grab the bowl on the nightstand fast enough and Leon starts vomiting directly onto the bed. It's fucking humiliating, but once he starts, he can't stop.

“You're okay, mi amor, you're okay,” Luis whispers. He holds his hair back and rubs soothing circles on his back. While Leon violently sobs and throws up. “Just get everything out, don't worry, you're okay.”

“Sorry,” Leon chokes out, when he's finally done puking up all his stomach contents. “I'm so nasty.”

“Don't be sorry,” Luis says to the still clammy and trembling Leon. “You're shaking like a leaf, corazon. You feel like you can stand..?”

“With help.”

“Then come on! I think you'll feel a little better after getting cleaned up.”

“Is he still out there? I'm not going to do a walk of shame past him. I'm already embarrassed enough.”

“I'll go ask him to step out for a bit, he'll understand.”

Leon doesn't like someone being told not to go somewhere in their own damn home for him, and he doesn't like the thought of needing help just to walk to the bathroom. But he knows Luis isn't backing down, so he doesn't object when Luis goes out to talk to his grandfather, nor does he when Luis comes back and helps him to his feet. He clings to Luis, because he is shaky and needs to stabilize himself somehow. He could probably make it on his own if he stayed seated for a few minutes, but Luis wasn't going to accept anything less than Leon immediately showering.

Luis guides Leon's body down onto the toilet and turns the shower water on to start warming up. “I'll be right back, I'm just going to go get you clean clothes. Don't get up by yourself.”

Not wanting an ER trip resulting from him losing his balance or slipping in the shower, Leon listens and stays seated. He's facing the sink, where there's still several positive pregnancy tests resting. He'd believed Luis when he said they were all positive, but actually seeing them for himself stirred up something in him. Worried it'll get him overemotional and crying again, he forces his eyes away from the sink and starts getting undressed.

That's a mistake, because looking down at his body also makes him emotional. It's changed so much in so little time. Luis had affected it even before pregnancy; the new relationship caused him to be a lot less disciplined about his fitness, often skipping workouts in favor of spending time with his new boyfriend. So his abs were already fading when he got pregnant. Whatever's left of them is gone, hidden underneath the bloating… His chest looks a little bigger too. And his hips and thighs are definitely bigger, though he already knew that because he'd been trying to pretend that his jeans weren't feeling tighter than usual for the past few weeks.

Finally Luis returns to rescue him from his own thoughts. [insert the gay ass monologue abt Luis's body I'm struggling to write]

Even though Leon is feeling more stable and not worried about falling, Luis still insists on getting in the shower with him and hovering, just in case. When they're done, Leon ignores the clean shirt set out for him and instead grabs Luis's dirty shirt off the floor.

“You smell so good today,” Leon says when they're done, ignoring the clean shirt sitting out for him and instead picking up Luis's dirty shirt off the floor and putting it on. “Some weird hormone bullshit.”

“That's flattering. Hey, can I try something? Carry you?”

“You better not drop me!”

Leon is more afraid of being picked up and carried than he's willing to admit. The last time a man picked him up… Krauser always just picked him up with no warning and threw him over his shoulder with no warning, like he was a sack of grain. Then he'd slam him down on some surface, deliberately making it as painful for Leon as possible.

Luis isn't as strong as Krauser or Leon (at least not as strong as Leon at his peak fitness) but he's in good shape, it's a part of the whole famous hot guy thing, and doesn't struggle to lift Leon. He cradles Leon gently, holding him bridal style, and walks from the bathroom to the couch painstakingly slowly.

“Stay here a minute, baby,” Luis says, lowering Leon down onto the couch. “I need to go get clean sheets and blankets on the bed before you go lay down again.”

“Wait,” Leon grabs Luis's wrist before he turns around to walk away. “I think I want to stay out here? Watch a movie or something. Your grandpa can come out here too. I know it's not the kind of thing that you planned for all of-”

“No, no, it's a perfect idea! Do you need anything? More pillows? Blanket? Whatever you need, I'll get it.”

“I'm fine, just need you.”

“I'm getting you a snack and a drink in case you change your mind,” Luis grabs the TV remote and tosses it to Leon. “You pick what we watch.”

Leon flips through some channels absent-mindedly, not really caring what they watch. When Luis comes back and sits down, Leon gets comfortable. He sprawls out on the couch, laying on his side, resting his head in Luis's lap. Luis alternates between petting Leon's hair and his stomach. Eventually they're joined by Luis's grandfather, who takes a seat in the armchair and starts talking. Leon regrets not going back to bed; he feels so awkward because his introduction to the man ended with Luis ushering him off to the bathroom to throw up before he said a word, and now he's talking and Leon can't understand a word. He was so stupid to think he'd be accepted by Luis's grandfather and feel like he belongs here, he doesn't know how to be a part of a normal family. Even if Luis's grandfather spoke English or he spoke Spanish, Leon would be floundering right now. He just looks up to Luis helplessly.

“He says that he's really happy you're sitting out here with us, because he wants to get to know the man who made all his grandson's dreams come true, who also happens to be the man currently carrying his first great grandchild. You don't need to do anything to earn his approval, you already have it,” Luis translates as Leon starts tearing up and tries hiding his face on Luis's leg, and his grandfather keeps talking. “He also says you shouldn't be embarrassed about crying. Or falling asleep, or getting sick. You know he was around my grandmother when she was pregnant with my mother, and around my mother when she was pregnant with me. He's seen all this before, that's how he figured this out before we did. He- No, we. We both just want to make sure you're taken care of and feeling as good as possible, we don't care that I had to change some plans.”

[nilikhangdiwa]

2024 Fic Wrap Up!

it's that time of the year again! the 2022 one can be found here and the 2023 one can be found here!

this year's stats... it's only MOSTLY a3 instead of completely entirely a3!! woah amazing!! that's on me getting into persona this year

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1.

when tomorrow comes knocking at our door

sakyoguy, canon compliant

mmm... old man yaoi... even better, DOMESTIC old man yaoi... this one was a secret santa present for vini who requested old man yaoi! nomadic bartender came out a little bit before so you can see that i was mentally ill and crazy. btw if you haven't read nomadic bartender, HIGHLY RECOMMEND. it's one of my favorite a3 events ever ever ever!!!!!

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2.

seasons change but people don't

samlil, post-good end

i. think this was a comm. i don't know. all the samlil i ever write is for quill whether explicitly or otherwise. this follows the end of the good ending where they both are able to leave the casino and live together out in the real world... oughhhfhsjkh i feel so majorly ILL about samlil all the time even when i'm not talking about them!!

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3.

run for roses

lone wolves week 2024

this was my entry for this year's lone wolves week! i was only able to get 2 chapters in because i was really busy with junior thesis around this time and i had to finish writing something else for an exchange (see number 5). nevertheless, it was super fun!

on chapter 1... the first one was because the chikage gekka ssr backstage made me SICK. like. if you haven't read it. please do. i'll like the translation here. it drives me SO MAD. like the ring is so important to chikage and losing it would make him spiral SO BAD. also after i posted this my friend was like AHA I FUCKING KNEW IT SOMEONE WAS GONNA WRITE ABOUT THE RING like OKAYYY JUST BECAUSE I'M PREDICTABLE OKAY!!!

chapter 2... i like little catholic boy hisoka. that's the entire thing basically. i have no words i just think they're really really neat. :((

also i got really obsessed with run for roses by nmixx, hence the title. it's just such a banger okay!

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4.

banri settsu's no-good, very-awful first day of school

banri & kazunari, humor

okay this was super silly and self-indulgent for the FUNNIEST reason. basically, my friend is going to (university) to study animation. our mutual friend graduated from that same university and course. we were like IT'D BE SOOO FUNNY IF (mutual friend) ENDED UP BEING YOUR TEACHER and that's how this was born.

what's funnier is that the friend in question? yeah, their sister was one of my thesis advisers. i walked into class and went "................. oomf, is your sister's name (redacted) by any chance....................... dawg i think she's my prof." so, that was a time! (i got an A. thanks oomf's sister)

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5.

(all i want is) Your Grace

madomasu, fantasy au, meet cutes, 5+1

this was written for a little server exchange! i was spinning it around which is why i wasn't able to finish run for roses lmao.

actually, i ended up worldbuilding a lot for this fantasy world, although most of it doesn't end up in the fic itself. the way magic works in the fantasy universe is kind of how language itself works... conveying a meaning and conveying power to make it do stuff. so different people do magic differently! like tsuzuru has script but citron does it moreso via music, etc.

in this one, citron was originally from inverno (winter kingdom) but ran away to live in vesna with itaru. i have azuma as the queen of inverno if i'm not mistaken? and then... i think azami as the future king of haust? with sakyo as his guard? or something... ermm.

then sakuya is the current king of vesna after his parents died and left him the throne at a young age... with chikage being his most trusted adviser and close confidant... and also basically being in charge tbh. he does a lot of things for selfish reasons (whatever's good for him) but he's also grown to care for sakuya so he sometimes does things for him... but he'll never admit it... august was the king's guard and then chikage was the knight's commander... something something very trusted. i'm sick. i love this au.

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6.

Verdant

chikaita, tojomachi, harugaoka quartet

this just in: the harugaoka quartet liker likes the tojo backstage. so i read the backstage and it's SICK. it's TWISTED. it's ILL. they were not just schoolmates. they were LONELY. but they were LONELY TOGETHER.

here's a scuffed tl of the play part in case you're interested because it genuinely makes me so insane. names carrying meanings and wishes for your children... this is JUST LIKE GEKKAGUMI. ANYWAY.

god they're so in love. this made me SICK. i'm SICK.

---

7.

Tritanopia

bansaku, royalty au, soulmate au

this was a little exchange with raina! i wrote her this, she wrote me kazuchika in exchange. hehe. :3 i love royalty aus and i love soulmate aus (this will be apparent).

i like soulmate aus but i also like thinking about how they would work/be regulated if they were considered to be a part of daily life. normal occurrence. everyone has a soulmate it came free with your living in this universe.

this one is the "when you first meet your soulmate then you see color" au. which is fun to think about because like if you've never seen color how do you conceptualize it. when you see color for the first time everything is just different...

i don't know, i just like thinking about soulmate aus. there's something about it. also something something the whole soulmate thing is how banri doesn't get his ass killed. but yknow.

---

8.

Ambrosia

chikamerl, chikatsuzu, kniroun week, kg adjacent

did i. okay yes i did. i did ramble about chikamerl in the 2023 wrap up so i will spare you all the horror of it. i just missed them. qkg compliant. technically a sequel to the previous chikamerl fic.

i. don't know what to say that doesn't involve just me going through the entire qkg lore so just. take it. my beloved mentally ill anime boys.

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9.

Birds of a Feather

itaru & sakuya, kniroun week, role study

the concept for this was "sakuya doing role study for mordred" but it turned out a little more chara study... ermm. it just features itaru rambling about kniroun lore while sakuya does his best!

if i may be honest this is probably my least favorite kniroun week entry because dawg i could have done so much better. i could have COOKED HARDER. but it's fine! it's perfectly lovely as is <3

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10.

Cineris

merlmord, tsuzusaku, kniroun week, playverse

i'm not normally a tzsk shipper but merlmord drives me MAD. there's just something about them.

it was super fun writing in merlin's pov because he's such a little shit. he's putting on the nice guy act but he wants to tear murder kill destroy. merlin writing so mentally ill that you would have thought i already finished p5r by this point "what does that mean" don't worry about it.

and mordred too has that... there's this balance between the guy who genuinely just wants to do good and the guy who wants to prove himself. which, of course, are not mutually exclusive, but especially younger,,, mordred is so lawful neutral, you know?

i like them. very much. also there's more made up kniroun lore in this one. i love made up kniroun lore.

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11.

When the Sky Falls

runull, tsuzumizu, kniroun week, kniroun origins, playverse

err. runull loredump here. i don't know what to say aside from just talking about why runull makes me crazy for the 27438975483rd time.

this one's in second person because it's supposed to kind of mirror the second person visual novel style of kniroun origins, and "you" don't have a name because you typically just input your own name when you're playing the game.

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12.

A Normal Day on Knights of Round Chobitter

chikaita, kniroun week, cbt oomfs to lovers

what if chikaita were mutuals on knirountwt. that's it that's the entire fic. this one was just silly and cute and itaru finding comfort and happiness in loving something and sharing that love with the world is something that can be so deeply personal thank you.

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13.

beautiful (just not today)

juza-centric, body dysmorphia, it's not transfem juza but it's not NOT transfem juza, also body horror

i'm gonna be real, i wrote this up in like an hour on a whim. this is based on the makg au which is based on that one dollhouse set featuring azuma and muku on the cg.

the fic says no context but i'm here to provide some context as a treat! the important context is that there's a gallery with wax statues, each with a nameplate on it alnd protected by a glass case. the statues are of the mankai members (and other side charas like godza, sakoda, mizuno, etc). the characters in the dollhouse event have been turned into porcelain dolls (azuma, hisoka, yuki, banri, and itaru), and the goal is for the other still-human characters to become dolls too. to be pretty and loved. so some characters (including juza) have been partially turned porcelain (dollified) in some body horror shit. the parts that have been turned porcelain on a person also become porcelain on the wax statue. doll meter.

juza has. complicated feelings about this whole thing. because it's juza. i wrote this based off rui's interpretation of juza (since she's the one writing juza in this au). but he... kind of wants to become a doll? tbh? like.... to be pretty... loved by the little miss of the dollhouse who turned them into dolls... etc.

in the rp, juza is the first other character outside of the dollhouse set who fully becomes a doll. fun! fun. makg ily. i will fix the minigame mechanics soon.

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14.

Keep Up

bantai, canon compliant, fire up! mantou fist, character study

this was a comm for my friend lyric which featured the funniest message ever: "but i am very different from banri so i could never really figure it out. i thought u would be the person to turn to for it!" LIKE. OKAY. ABAC I GUESS (ASSIGNED BANRI AT COMMISSION).

while i was outlining this fic in my head i was actually mumbling to myself about what happens as i was walking to uni campus. so random people walked by me hearing mumble shit like "and then banri goes god fucking damn it nanao taichi you fucking idiot" because he IS.

there's a deleted scene from this one where taichi actually gets a fever from overwork and banri looks after him while also calling him stupid and not understanding how you could possibly work so hard that you physically get sick. me too, oomf. banri gets complimented for working hard and literally cannot wrap his head around how to respond to it so he just goes nah and deflects. u just like me fr. maybe this is why lyric commed me.

also, i was writing this around the time the haikyuu movie came out, so i got to watch it! kenhina as my chara study for bantai (unironic).

also with regard to one of the lines in the fic, i also posted this on my priv: (the typo is supposed to be what taichi *heard)

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15.

oomf gets killed by juban (not clickbait) (a little bit clickbait)

crackfic

another one for the callout fics series! there's not much context to this, only that i wish for melody and bellie to one day be juban together in an rp. that would be so funny.

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16.

The Case of the Triple Oddity

citron & taichi, fluff

this one was a cute little thing i wrote for the annual pride exchange! there's not much to say about it and neither are they particularly fruity in this, but it's just a cute little thing. all in a gay's work!

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17.

Nanao Taichi's 6-Step Plan to Figuring Out Which Crush is Real (So You Can Confess and Get the Romance of Your Dreams)

taitenyuki, taichi & muku, getting together

this one was a comm from someone who requested silly taichi flirting and taitenyuki! it was my first time writing taiten or taiyuki (although i do love taiyuki and should write more taiyuki). i asked some of my friends for silly movie-esque ways of flirting and got the stuff you see in the fic.

meet-cutes was so funny given that they already know each other and literally live together. i think that taichi deserves a lot of love and a lot of kissies!

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18.

some things just make sense

sakushu, post-canon

... so you can guess when i started playing p5r.

anyway, can i interest you all in the sakushu agenda? i just think there's something about them yknow. something so. so! okay. i don't remember how i got started on this. probably when i was on vc with quill playing p5r.

in my head they used to live in the same small town. sakuya's got relatives there so he was there for a while. they got together and cared each other very much. they were each other's first... a lot of things. they ended up breaking things off when sakuya had to leave because they weren't. like. long distance wasn't good for them. but they still care each other.

i think after this fic they hang out a lot. reconnect. they both are in tokyo for the long haul... they can try again. right person, wrong time, but now it could be the right time. idk. i like sakushu.

also i hadn't finished playing p5r when i posted this, i think i was literally only like up to like. 3rd palace? or so? so i was very worried about writing akiren and that's why he has like 4 lines LMAO but i was very mentally ill about akiren since the moment i laid my eyes on his stupid catboy face <3

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19.

The Spring to Your Smile

taisaku, fluff

this one was a comm for raina who requested cute sakutai fluff!

i've been to a handful of arcades in japan, so i used what i knew to write it. i actually really like taisaku, so it's kind of a shame that i don't write it enough! this is actually my first taisaku fic... that's crayz...

there's something about them yknow. so lovely. shaped. i wish them a very happiness. taichi will spoil sakuya so much.

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20.

love me, love me, love me

akiren-centric, canon-compliant (kind of)

the fuck you mean this is only fic 20 out of 30. did i really write that many in the last 3 months of the year. christ. okay anyway.

so i finished p5r in august and er. basically went crazy. now my head is full of p5r. (i also finished p4g in 2024, though i haven't written any p4 fics. the p1 manga as well!)

the idea for this one came to me in a burst of inspiration in the middle of me rambling about one of the 749832742 aus i have come up with to ruin akiren's life. guess my favorite p5r character. i dare you.

this fic is for a specific interpretation of ren's parents. i don't actually have one solid hc for how i think his parents are like, so i just do whatever fits the vibe. there's something here about how his parents are like... highschool sweethearts who had a kid they weren't ready for... so they got married but it strained their relationship with each other and with the child. yknow?

also, yeah. the title is literally aishite x3. so, yknow. thematic.

i also made it a point in the end note that arsene isn't in joker's mask because OURGH there's something about what that means symbolically that makes me unwell.

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21.

baptize (don't worry about tomorrow)

shuakeshu (kind of??), drinking, alcoholism

so i'm like. half a psych major. and basically i was trying to come up with what a lot of the persona game mechanics mean in terms of psych concepts. so like, for example, tv dungeons are manifestations of psyches where the id is repressed too much, while palaces are manifestations of psyches where the id is not controlled and allowed to just run wild, that kind of thing.

i explain this in the end notes of the fic, but basically i think there's two routes for call of chaos if it hypothetically just allows your instinct to do whatever: thanatos (anger, destruction) or eros (horny).

also really funny because like i think a few weeks later someone posted an akeshu fic where akechi uses call of chaos on himself and then gets horny or something? i was like welp. that's freud for ya!

anyway i was talking to quill about how call of chaos works. because the initial thought was actually "i sure hope akechi doesn't get permanent brain damage from fucking up his brain chemicals so much." and then quill points out, that's kind of addiction bait. and then i was like HMMM. INTERESTING.

so in this fic it manifests in alcoholism because alcohol tends to reduce inhibitions the same way call of chaos does (although it's a depressant. LISTEN DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS I'M NOT A MED STUDENT.) also because i love giving random charas drinking problems. and smoking problems. yippee!

anyway the funniest part is that i was writing this in the middle of my industrial/organizational psych class. lmao

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22.

Coming Up Aces

akiren-centric, post-canon, 5+1

this is actually. basically the first fic i had in mind after finished p5r. because i'd been reading p5 fics and akiren's life fuckin SUCKSSSSS after canon. which is perfectly reasonable to assume and i think is probably true.

but also. he's my baby. so i wanted to give him some nice things. hence, this fic. just... something about how much he's grown and changed as a person in the year that p5r takes place. all the things he's learned from all the people he's met.

it's something like, he's changed so much and all his stats are at 5 now. but he's always been just. justice, as a central theme to p5. yk.

this is also written with like. very, very background shuake. like, i think it's most evident if you read the erudite section. because the essay he writes and submits is... basically about akechi. there's so much background shit in my head about this fic but it all tastes like akechi. is akechi dead in this one? err, who knows? i don't know.

actually, that part was my favorite to write, drawing from some stuff i learned in my own jpn lit class. the heike monogatari is like an account of the genpei war. minamoto no yoshitsune (same yoshitsune as in the game, yeah) was one of the great heroes who fought against the taira clan alongside his brother, yoritomo. but as the story goes, yoritomo was the reason yoshitsune died - betrayal.

yoshitsune is a tragic hero in japanese literature. maybe THE tragic hero ever. and so we get these kinds of notions of japanense heroism:

aside from that, there's something in there about how akiren recites more in class because he's looking for someone to debate with like he did with akechi or even makoto sometimes, but no one really engages him the same way unless its like the teachers doing presentation discussions and shit. also, sato mentions that the class is doing sengoku period next. which is a funny reference that is also akechi-coded because haha akechi mitsuhide.

in my head like. the history and literature classes are connected, and typically study the same period at around the same time. so both just finished heian/kamakura, and are moving onto muromachi period.

i love all the stupid cringefail npcs i've created for this fic. i have so, so, so much to say about it. akiren's got a mini confidant with both hiroki and sato. also, katsumi and ennis from harugaoka quartet get namedropped, and itsuko in part 5 is named after my extended uraomote universe homare, who is kondo's wife.

also, fun fact. i... submitted the lit review for my thesis late because i was writing this instead. anyway.

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23.

feels like summer when i'm with you

ichijyushi, beach

this one was for the hypmic gotcha for gaza on twt! crazy... me writing hypmic fic in 2024 was not on my bingo list, but hey! it was fun, actually... i kinda missed it. ichiro isn't a character i write often, but he comes relatively easily to me.

i like him a lot. buster bros still number one! not much to say about it, but i like ichijyushi and jyushi's cringefail crush on ichiro.

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24.

midsummer love (now and forever)

fling poly, beach

"is this fucking fic titled after summer time love by kazunari miyoshi" yes. also i didn't realize i got two beach fics in a row, but hey! this was also for the hypmic gotcha for gaza. they specifically requested a beach fic, so i was like dawg, i GOT YOU. ramuda pov my beloved, i haven't written you in so long...

fling posse makes me really happy, so i'm glad to have been able to write them again! there's something about them that makes me... yeah. :3

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25.

the woes of being a plus one

tsuzuomi, halloween

this actually isn't the next fic i uploaded, it was actually the shusumi one, but i'll get into that later because i split it into 2 chapters. this one was for lav for a halloween server exchange!

i... learned that writing tsuzuru is kind of ass. i'm kind of ass LMAO. i don't have much practice writing tsuzuru not in conjunction with harugumi, so writing tsuzuomi was a bit of a challenge... but i had fun, and they're cute!

i asked my friends what would be a funny couples costume, lav said sun and moon, and i was like bet? bet.

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26.

Monsters of Veludo

azashifu, monsters of verity au, enemies to . something

this one was written for the mankai charity zine! oh BOY i have words about this au. this was one of the aus i pitched, along with devil's gambit and fmab... silly. anyway.

most of the background au stuff of this au is in the little accompaniment pdf of the mancha zine, so actually, you should read that! but generally, the premise is more or less that acts of violence create monsters - like, literal shadow creature stuff. in the series, there’s 3 types of monsters, based on how horrific your violence was, but in the fic, i only included the coolest one: the sunai (what shiffy is).

theres like a future scene in my head where like after azami kills someone for the first time, intentional or otherwise - and this is after he and shifuto start to become friends - shifuto sees him and knows something is different and. "oh, azami... what have you done...?"

hmm i have a spinoff au of this that's not othe same universe because that one is manknai compliant and features itaru, tsumugi, juza, and homare as monster abominations (and sakyo.) kiketsu au my beloved... i'm happy to talk about that one too tho!

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27.

ideals of the blank future and beyond

shusumi, risky game, actors au

yeah so this happened. sumire is so gekkagumi. she's so forgetting who you are and living as someone else. she's so struggling to move on and move past what happened. she's so it should have been you why did you leave me here. you can't hate her enough to hurt because you'll never hate her as much as she hates herself.

and so i wrote sumire risky game.

this started because, as i usually do, i was assigning charas of my most recent interest (p5r) to a3 plays. and then shusumi mentioned, and then i was like, ohhh, it'd be so fucked up if risky game.

the other cast are akechi as ledley because it'd be so funny and i wanted to make him say the little chicks line, haru as eda because thematically appropriate, ryuji as oliver because... i mean yeah. and then makoto and nicolette (dominic) because i just think it's so funny to make her play a little spoiled rich boy.

in this au, it's basically all of the phantom thieves in a theater troupe. they're putting on risky game right now, and it follows the plot of the risky game event story, etc etc. there's just something about it. they made wadakuma play catherine in the esute risge stage and i was like oh my fucking god.

it's mentioned in the fic that kasumi was a gymnast and sumire is an actor. basically like. kasumi and sumire's career paths diverged when they were younger, sumire goes into acting a la yumi p4 and kasumi continues with gymnastics. the year kasumi dies, sumire "lives as her" (though not literally, since no persona au). so she goes back to like gymnastics and all that to try and keep kasumis memory alive, but yk she kinda ass at it. she's super out of practice and she has no love for it aside from a misguided sense of keeping her sister's spirit alive. theres a line in the grave scene where sumire says shes been keeping up acting the past 2 years. that includes the year she was acting as kasumi.

i don't have any experience writing play scripts, so i just kind of copied oomf's from the times he's asked me to check his.

i will not start rambling about risky game and norman, but just know that it's SO FUCKED UP. god. it's so fucked up. they make me so upset.

other stuff gets mentioned in the end notes of the fic! so if you're curious, you can check that out. i have other thoughts spinning around my mind (such as yusuann clockwork heartbeat, shuann stray devil blues, shuake scarlet mirror, etc... also several people have suggested shukita nocturnality and like. i see it.)

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28.

assexual attorney

crackfic

yeah i have no words for this. ryu just hates being associated with banri at all ever, and then this was born. i love my friends, SWEAR.

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29.

burning red

shuakeshu, soulmate au, post-canon, canon compliant

i didn't realize that this is actually my second color-based soulmate au fic. i'm typically a soulmark, names sort of girlie. anyway. this fic was for a persona winter exchange that i joined.

actually, it was supposed to be a different fic. i have that other fic plotted out, but i wasn't able to finish it because it's quite. long. and dramatic. and plot heavy. but it's vampires + soulmates + royalty. something about akechi being a vampire prince being betrothed to akiren the human prince and then... they're soulmates...? but vampires don't have soulmates.................. wow that's so weird. anyway, i'll post that fic one day.

until then, burning red! the title is from red by taylor swift (sorry) but like i think it's very. yeah. losing him was blue like i've never known... missing him was dark gray all alone... forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met...

umm. the colors are fading because akiren genuinely believes that akechi's dead. but they won't ever go away for real while akechi is still alive. soulmates tied not only to cosmic power but also persona perception. cognition. very p5.

the part about robin hood using samarecarm to heal akechi and save him after shido's palace is also ... yeah. quill's hc is that's how it happened and i was like omg real. so true.

i'm gonna be honest, i'm personally of the belief that akechi should stay dead at the end of p5r (thematically), but also i will not complain because i love making akechi alive.

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30.

Sentimental Value

tsuzumizu, itaru & tsuzuru

this one's for the a3 holiday exchange! it's tsuzumizu but actually, mizuno isn't there. i wanted to write something about tsuzuru looking for a christmas gift for mizuno, but with a spin on the whole, "just write him a play!" because... y'know, i feel like he would. of course. think of that. that's his default, actually. and what better person to ask than mr. gift giving himself, itaru chigasaki?

i actually wrote this while i was on vacation lmao. on my shitty ahh phone. the screen is glitching so it gets hard to write fics on there, but. yeah! and it's up~ also, gratuitous annoying itaru. i love annoying itaru.

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bonus!

20:01

akechi-centric

wrote this the night before my birthday as a personal birthday gift to myself. "akechi trying to kill himself?" yes. listen. mr. "i didn't plan to live past 18" OKAY. OKAY. did he actually want to die (in this fic)? personally, i think not. but it's up to interp. i dunno man. he just possesses me.

also i hope you guys like the akiren characterization, because i love to passively characterize ren in akechi-centric fics.

akechi is stupid !!! it's only the question of is he just naturally a dumbass or is he willfully being ignorant? he always thinks ren can see right through him, which he can, but the core that he thinks ren sees is always like. some kind of curled up sad crying pathetic thing. when thats not what ren sees. this is a constant in my fics its always akechi being like oh he thinks im pathetic. oh hes gonna try to kill me. like NO BITCH GET A GRIP!!!

need this guy to get some therapy.

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bonus!

with(out) this

juban

i got really mad at this one juban fic i kept seeing that really irked me from the description alone so i was like bro i bet i could write a better one and i don't even LIKE juban. so yeah.

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THAT WAS 2024! grah. that's so many. hope to write more in the coming year! let's see... my tenma zine fic will make an appearance in the 2025 wrap up, as well as probably... more shuake fics. fuck this baka life.

[book-shop-dates]

Spark: A Draco Malfoy X Hufflepuff Reader Fanfiction

Chapter 2:

As soon as Professor Snape had stopped talking and let the class get on with the tasks, Draco turned towards you. Without looking away from your book full of neatly written notes, you could sense his eyes on you. He was about to make a snarky remark until you turned towards him, looking him dead in the eye. Draco's mouth opened and closed a few times, before looking defeated and slumping back into his chair. You've seen Draco around in hallways and in some of your classes, but you never paid much attention to him. Yet, right now, it's all you could seem to do.

His platinum hair was neatly styled, leaving his striking silver eyes to look right back at you. It didn't feel awkward, staring at each other. It felt almost... intoxicating. Draco looked as if he was going to say something again, but instead he just sneered at you. As you tilted your head in confusion, you heard Draco mutter under his breath: "Shut up, Mudblood." You just sighed and continued working in silence, it's not like you haven't been called horrible names like that before. One of your best features was being able to forgive people, but sometimes you took words to heart.

"So, uh... Malfoy is it?" You tried making small talk with him. He made a noise to agree and said nothing else. You realised he wasn't the biggest fan of conversations with a muggle-born Hufflepuff. The rest of the lesson was took in silence by you both. Nearer to the end of the lesson, you both agreed to meet in Draco's dorm room to complete the Amortentia Potion later that evening. You felt as if he suggested this evening just so he could get it over and done with.

***

Pacing around your dorm-room, fifteen minutes before you agreed to meet Malfoy, Lyra walked in and immediately noticed something was wrong. "Girl. What's up?" She sat you down as you bounced your leg from anxiety. She put her hand on your knee to stop it. "I have to be at Draco's dorm-room in fifteen minutes to complete a potion together for Professor Snape's class tomorrow. I don't know why but I feel incredibly sick and nervous. I'm afraid he'll make fun of me or embarrass me in front of the whole Slytherin house." Lyra just sighed and rubbed your back in a comforting manner. "If he does anything, and I mean anything, I'll kill him. I don't care about going to Azkaban, it would be worth it for you." She smiled smugly. You just chuckled and got yourself together, ready for the walk to the dungeons. Before you left, you grabbed a cookie from your muggle cookie-tin and wrapped it up. The least you could do was let Draco have a gift, considering he's letting you in his dorm-room.

Walking along the hallway towards the dungeon you saw a few Slytherins looking at you, then whispering to one another. You already felt embarrassed as your cheeks hinted with a slight shade of pink. Trying not to show it though, you walked with your head high and a smile on your face. That smile slowly faded when you saw a certain Slytherin standing outside the entrance to their common room. Pansy. She had always disliked you, and it was hard to not dislike her back. She was arrogant, naïve and annoying. Not to forget she loved picking on you for some strange reason unknown to you. "Oh my, its a little Hufflepuff! What brings you down here, aren't you going to shrivel up if you don't catch the last sunrays?" She turned to her friends who were laughing next to her: "I always thought she'd turn to dust before actually making her way down here." She turned back to you, "If you wanted my attention so badly, why didn't you just say earlier?" A few more Slytherins joined the crowd that now surrounded you, Pansy and her friends. At this point, your face burned red from embarrassment, but you wouldn't let that stop you from fighting your own battles for once, even though you weren't very good at doing that. "I'm actually here to see Draco, thank you very much." You tried your best to sound cold, but it came out to sound more high-pitched. "Ha! Draco!? As if he'd want to see you!" Pansy laughed loudly, causing everyone else to laugh around you too. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You were never going to live this down. What about if Draco set this whole thing up, and made Pansy stand and wait for me here, just so she can embarrass me even more than usual?

"Actually. I invited her." A cunning voice came from behind the crowd. The laughing died instantly as none other than Draco Malfoy walked through everyone, finding you in the centre of the crowd. He had to admit, you looked cute when you were scared. He shook out that thought as quickly as it came in though, how could the Slytherin prince find a Hufflepuff cute? "D-Draco. You invited a Mudblood Hufflepuff to our common room?" Pansy shuddered while saying the word Hufflepuff. "Actually, I invited her to my dorm. Come on, Y/N." He said as he walked back through the crowd, you just stuck your head down and followed him closely, leaving the whole Slytherin crowd bewildered.

When you reached Draco's dorm-room he closed the door behind you and you breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, for that back there. I felt so intimidated an-" Draco cut you off: "Don't thank me, I did it more for my benefit than yours. Any chance to put Pansy down, I'll take. No thanks to you though I'll be having to beat of rumours for weeks to come." A sudden pang in your heart made you feel even more uneasy than you did out there. So Draco definitely just wanted this to get over and done with. No chance of friendship at all. Not that you wanted a friendship, but it was always nice to have another person you could talk to in the hallways. Draco was never that sort of person though, so what did you expect?

"Well, lets get started then!" You said, trying to bring enthusiasm to the ever-so bleak room. Draco nodded in agreement and you both started working on the potion. You could have sworn Draco had moments where he'd stare at you, but maybe he was just daydreaming, lost in thought. You were right, he was lost in thought, but not about what you'd expect. He kept staring at you because of the way your eyebrows furrowed when you were focusing, and the way you stuck your tongue out ever so slightly while measuring ingredients, and the way your hair looked so silky and soft he could play with it for hours and never get bored. What on Merlin's grave was he thinking about right now? He can't think like that towards anyone, especially not a Mudblood. His life didn't leave time for daydreaming about stupid little romances. Whether he could call his daydreams a romance he was unsure, but either way, he didn't like it.

Eventually, after you completing most of the work and Draco zoning out, the Amortentia Potion was complete. You sat in silence admiring your work before Draco's voice made you slightly jump. You almost forgot he was in the room with you, you were that focused. "So, are you going to smell it?" He asked, catching you off guard. "I, uhm... well yeah, sure, why not?" You stumbled over your words, getting nervous to figure out what you'd smell. You've always loved the idea of love. It's a comforting feeling of hope when you feel sad. Its a comforting feeling that maybe one day you'll find someone who fits you just right. Someone you get a spark from. Taking a deep breath to ground yourself, you leaned forwarded and smelt the potion. It hit you suddenly, but softly. "Well? What do you smell?" Draco asked eagerly, realising how he sounded as he coughed and straightened up. "I smell Green Apples, mixed with some Mint and Old Parchment..." You trailed off. The smell reminded you instantly of someone, but who that someone was you couldn't remember. You looked up at Draco, who seemed almost as confused as you did. "Go on, why don't you smell it too?" You questioned him as he shot you a look. "I don't need to smell a stupid potion to know what I like." And to that you just replied with a pleading smile, to which he couldn't help but smirk at your facial features lighting up when he sat next to you on the floor, and smelt it. He sat for a second, the smell seeming familiar too him just like yours did to you. Draco then spoke out: "Freshly-baked cookies, Lavender Shampoo, and Vanilla."

After a few minutes of silence. you helped Draco clean up and went to leave to walk back to your dorm. Though you stopped yourself for two reasons. The first one: "Oh, I almost forgot!" You rummaged through your bag to find a cookie wrapped up in baking paper and held it out to Draco. He looked confused until you told him, "It's a cookie, I made them yesterday night so they are still quite fresh." He caught himself smiling at the thought that someone would give him a gift, a homemade gift, without expecting anything back. You put the cookie on the edge of his bed before you walked towards the door. Draco didn't say thank you, but through his smile you could tell he appreciated it. "I don't suppose I could ask you for a really big favour?" You shyly asked. "Depends what it is, L/N." He knew your last name? This threw you off track slightly, almost forgetting what you were about to ask him. "Can you walk me out of the Dungeons? I really don't want to face Pansy again... Actually, don't worry, I'll be okay, sorry for ask-" Draco cut you off, "Lets go then, before I change my mind." And with that, Draco walked you out towards the exit of the Slytherin common-room. You were going to say thank you for walking you this far, but he continued walking, urging you to hurry up every time you stopped. Soon enough you reached the Hufflepuff common-room entrance. Neither of you expected to walk this far with each other, but you both kind of enjoyed the peaceful, unawkward silence between the two of you. "Thank you, Draco, I'll see you around!" You smiled and waved to him, walking through the entrance to your common-room. Little did you know, when Draco reached his dorm-room and closed his door, a massive smile overtook his face when he looked back at the cookie. He ate it as quick as he could, craving more afterwards due to the taste being amazing. He felt like he should of savoured the cookie more, but at least he still had the neatly folded baking paper left. Although it was only baking paper, he kept it because it was one of the first gifts he had received from someone who actually meant nothing harsh by it. It had somehow made his heart feel warm, unlike his usual feeling of coldness. You fell asleep almost as soon as you got in your dorm-room and got ready for bed. You both slept sound, with a smile on each of your faces.

Authors Note: hey my little lovebugs !! thank you so much for all the recent support on my first chapter and prologue, i hope this second chapter will make you slightly giddy for both Y/N and Draco. lots more cute moments to come !! lots of love !!

[nerdgatehobbit]

12/16/23

All right, it’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these. Mostly because there hasn’t been that much to report. I have begun The Librarians TV show, and I’m enjoying it so far. While mostly fun, the movie trilogy was somewhat iffy in places so it is already clearer that the show is better. A while back I did see the first Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century episode, but it was way more dystopian than I remembered so I haven’t kept watching yet.

I’ve been doing a daily BATB post this month; I’ll be shifting to the 1991 movie for a week or so but then I’ll resume reblogging posts about the 2022 special to wrap up the year. Thanks to everyone for putting up with me shoving the same dozen or so posts back into your feed. Because I do love the celebration special a lot; I am not kidding when I say it kicked my BATB affection to new heights. <3

There are daily BBC Merlin Gwen posts scheduled into a chunk of January. After that, either I will go searching for more posts out in the wild (again) or start reblogging from the depths of my blog. Or I’ll rewatch the show for the sole purpose of getting more screencaps of her. Though it’s very possible I’ll do some screencaps of a different Gwencelot pairing from the 1994 movie once I make time to watch it, in addition to the TV show posts.

Over in the Pokémon Masters app, I did obtain two of Emma & Crobat in one pull but unfortunately Professor Sycamore & Gogoat have eluded me. Hopefully there won’t be any sync pairs I really want in January, as my free gem stash is running low.

However, with 2023 wrapping up, I’m debating what else to have in the queue. Since they both were turning 30 this year, I’ve been doing a daily ST DS9 & Power Rangers post. I do want to get back into creating my own posts rather than just reblogging, but I’m not entirely sure what media to do it with.

I won’t promise to adhere to the results, but it’ll be interesting if nothing else to see what you all want me to post about.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, thinking about how not only (as pointed out) that this season of OG is mediocre but LS has also been pretty Meh and remarkably for similar reasons. So because I have too much time on my hands today and too little willpower to be productive, here I give you my vaguely thought out character parallels between the two shows this season, and how they've made the season frustrating.

Eddie and Nancy: Both of these characters have had no plot or arc all season. Basically they're moral support and comedic relief.

Maddie and TK: Both have had a sort of half plot to themselves but ultimately are there to be supportive, be sad when their loved ones are in danger, and generally remind us Madney and Tarlos exist.

Bobby and Mateo: Both had exactly one plotline to themselves, both those plots came out of nowhere, and both were centered around another character that was mentioned maybe once before.

Athena and Paul: Both had a single plot centered on their past that was actually interesting and believably important for the character (though in LS at least it didn't require its own episode away from the group). The problem was that there was little to no follow up or any sense of closure, we're just kinds left to assume some sort of conversation happened.

Chim and Tommy: Both have been fairly visible this season (definitely Tommy more so than Chim except for the last few OG episodes) and had some pretty good best friend moments. But both had had incredibly frustrating plots that just didn't make sense or serve a purpose (Chim forgiving his parents and Tommy - a Mom - trying to one up an actual child).

Hen+Karen and Judd+Grace: Both were strong points for the their shows season (I'm firmly of the belief Tomorrow was the best episode of either show this season). Only a relatively minor complaint for both, namely the WTF did this come from of the Denny plot and that Grace's recent storyline has the 5th crime investigation on what's supposed to be a weewoo show.

The 911 Guest Cast and Owen: Basically these always seem to drag the show out of the firehouse and into some bullshit no one asked for. The exception is Ravi, who is the equivalent of Owen when the focus is on him being a captain to his team.

Buck and Carlos: Frankly both their plotlines have been a mess (though Buck has twice as many as Carlos), didn't go anywhere, and are full of missed opportunities for character development, especially in the realm of having an honest conversation with their parents.

If you've been keeping score I have left out of the list Marjan. This is because between the shows I feel like Marjan's character has been handled the best, even almost perfectly. We got backstory, character building, and even a cute dating plot.

Anyway hope you enjoy my afternoon musings!! This is also in part me trying to pretend this season is over (for OG at least) and I can draw these parallels instead of facing the fact we have 2 more episodes to slog through.

Bestie, were is the lie????

This is so spot on though and I laughed so hard when I read this! I've been...not necessarily avoiding but certainly not reading any LS spec because I'm just to tired to do that and OG but whooo boy am I side eying some of the stuff I've seen floating around. LS pulling the old RNM line of Tarlos having to "earn" their wedding like 🙄🙄🙄 Plus there was something about "tragedy" striking and WHY would they need more new drama when they had a whole unexpected WIFE that got sort of brushed off and the resolution for that happened off screen, and Carlos DIED and then it was just like, never mentioned again, and TK is going into his wedding without his mom. There's already so much there, why on earth would they need to invent something else?!

And don't get me started on OG doing the same thing but also packing the guest cast with a thousand people to wrap up Buck's 700 arcs he's got started that they just did nothing with until the last couple episodes apparently. I am...so tired.

Agreed though that the Marjan stuff has been good this season when she had stuff going on! I honestly don't know WHO was in charge of OG seasons 1-3 and the arc planning and pacing because Timmy is over on LS and it's having the same messy issues as OG in that regard when OG had like, the PERFECT formula those first few seasons. What was going on over there?! And more importantly, how do we get it BACK?!

[heavyhitterheaux]

Not So Happy Birthday

AN: He should have known better

Synopsis: You have been spending a lot of time with Ace planning something for Jack and you wanted to get everything just right. Too bad everything blows up in your face.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: a beautiful anon 💖

Appearances by: @nattinatalia and @hoodharlow 😘😘

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was 2 am and Jack was sleeping peacefully next to you. When you had heard his light snores,  you took advantage of that and were texting Ace to help you plan a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend of three months.

Jack had asked you to visit him on tour and you quickly agreed. You had that advantage seeing that you worked at your parent's company and could come and go as you pleased.

You were what people called a trust fund baby. You didn’t have to work, but you chose to, wanting to say that you earned something for yourself. 

You were introduced to Jack by Ace after the two of you had met and hooked up, but it didn't go anywhere. The two of you remained close and became really good friends and he got the bright idea of introducing you to Jack. When that happened, you could have sworn that your heart stopped when you saw these blue eyes.

Even though the relationship was still fairly new, you found yourself wanting to spend all your free time with him if both of your schedules allowed it. 

Your best friend Blanca was excited for you since she couldn't remember the last time she saw you so happy, but she also happened to have no problem threatening Jack and told him that if he hurt you to count his days. 

While your other best friend Jessica was just happy that you found something else to occupy your time with instead of just work.

The idea that you came up with for the party is that it would be Louisville themed so Jack could have a little taste of home while being on tour. You knew it did get hard sometimes, so you decided that you would do what you could in order for him to fill the void without actually being home. You had also planned to fly out his parents, grandparents, as well as Clay on your family’s private jet and everything would take place in one of the vacation houses that your parents owned.

The current conversation with Ace centered around what type of cake you thought he would want and the different foods to have. Urban, Quiiso, 2fo and Shloob were going to help you go and pick out a gift for him tomorrow. They were all in on the plan and the only other person you wanted to tell was Druski. Jack told you that he would be coming later in the week and you will fill him in on the details then. 

Ace- OPEN BAR!

You- Ace! My baby doesn’t drink! We all know this!

Ace- Okay, but I do! And I’m helping you plan this soooo once again, OPEN BAR!

You- Okay, okay! I’ll have the open bar, and I can ask our private chef if he can do the food, or should we get it catered from somewhere? Like this is more so an intimate setting with all of his closest family and friends

Ace- Get Morris Deli sandwiches

You- Ace, imma smack you. NO.

Ace- What in the world is your private chef going to cook? Spoiled ass smh

You- Hmm, I’m thinking of multiple options. Chicken, fish, beef, and then we have our vegetarian options so that everyone can have something to choose from that they like. And of course all of Jack’s favorites

Ace- His favorite is you

You- But I cannot be spread eagle on the dinner table 

Ace- Says who?!? Jack will only want to be around you anyway, ever since he laid his eyes on you it’s like we don’t exist

You- Stop being dramatic

Just then you felt Jack move closer to you and wrap his arms tighter around you and whisper in your ear.

“Mamas, why are you still up? You complained about wanting to go to sleep and you're steadily typing away on your phone. Put it down and go to sleep.”

“Okay, just one more thing that I have to do and then I will, I promise.”

“Baby, you stay overworking yourself and I thought I told you about that.”

“But!”

“I get it, you’re a perfectionist and when you want things done a certain way you do them yourself, but you have all day to do that. Come and cuddle with me please.”

How could you say no to that?

You- He’s awake so we shall continue this conversation later

Ace- And snails better not be on the menu either with your bougie ass

You- Imma order them from room service to you in the next city we go to

Ace- 😐😐😐😐

You put your phone on the charger as Jack kissed your shoulder and you then fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was around 6 am when you had also dragged Ace to wake up and go to the gym downstairs in the hotel with you.

As much as he put up a fight, he finally agreed and you let Jack sleep in.

“We only slept for four hours! I’m tired!” Ace whined as you began to warm up on the treadmill.

“Stop being a big baby! I have to use all of my free time to plan this so that he doesn’t find out. I want this to be special for him. He’s worked so hard and definitely deserves this.”

“Are you at least buying me breakfast after this?”

“Did you not hear anything I just said?! All you’re focused on is eating and going back to sleep.”

“Do you blame me?! Since no, you and your family are the types to wake up on Thanksgiving ad run a fucking 5K. Jack has no idea what he has gotten himself into. And quite frankly I don’t know either, but I WANT OUT!”

“Did I ever mention how dramatic you were? Now I have to go finalize the details for his cake and pick up one of the gifts that I got him today and Neelam knows the deal. Keep him distracted so that he doesn't suspect anything. If worse comes to worse, I went shopping and that really isn’t a lie… and… Ace you can lift heavier than that. That’s only five pounds.”

“I’m a beginner, do not shame me.”

“This isn’t Planet Fitness and you are not a beginner so I am shaming you. Get those 40s and stop playing around. The sooner we get done, the better.”

“Are you this hard on Jack when he works out with you?”

“The only working out with him that I’ve ever done is sex so no.”

“And I did not need to know that.”

“Well you asked.” You answered Ace while shrugging and going over to the bar to do squats.

When you and Ace had finished, the two of you went back upstairs to your rooms to get ready for the day and you walked in to see Jack looking like he just woke up and was rubbing his eyes.

“Baby, where’d you go?”

“Downstairs to the gym, I dragged Ace with me and now I’m going to shower and I promised him that I would buy him breakfast for waking him up so early. Just didn’t say when he was going to get the breakfast. Maybe he’ll get it next week from me.”

“Not you making the man work out and not feeding him. Your workouts be hard as hell and that’s the least you can do. I am never working out with you. The most work out you’ll get out of me is giving you this dick and that’s it.”

“You two are definitely friends because he complained the entire time too. My workouts are not that bad.”

“Baby, 2fo couldn’t walk for three days after he went to the gym with you, I’ll pass. But, you know we could always save water since I have to get ready too.” Jack answered you while wiggling his eyebrows.

All you did in response was peel off your workout bra and let it land on the floor and Jack’s eyes went wide quickly following you into the bathroom. 

Druski came a few days earlier than expected, and you hadn’t been able to get a chance to talk to him because he always happened to be around Jack.

You would try to pull him to the side tonight while Jack was performing to tell him the plan and explain what was happening, but it seemed as if he had been a little standoffish towards you since the other day. He saw you along with Ace having lunch in the city and kind of stood a little to the side so that the two of you wouldn’t notice him. The two of you had gotten hungry on your excursion of trying to find yet another gift for Jack so the two of you stopped to get food. Little did you know Druski had taken pictures and sent them to Jack. But that wasn’t all, this had happened every day since he had been there and noticed how if he saw Ace, that you weren’t far behind and the last thing he wanted was for one of his good friends to get hurt. 

Jack didn’t quite know how to feel when Druski told him and sent him the pictures.

He had told you about his trust issues and that his last relationship ended because he ended up getting cheated on.

But that wasn’t it.

He got cheated on and she got pregnant by the person that she cheated on him with.

So when Ace came to him and told him about you, he had his hesitations, but Ace insisted that Jack give you a chance and he finally agreed. 

He knew that the two of you had hooked up in the past, but Ace assured him that he had no feelings for you whatsoever and that the two of you were just friends.

Now if that were true, why were you all over the city with Ace and it was just the two of you? And every day?

When he sat down and thought about it, you had been blowing him off to spend time with Ace and now he knew what he had to do.

He wasn’t about to get hurt again, so he needed to end it before it got to that point.

You had gotten Jack a specialized necklace that had ‘KY’ on it and was making your way back to the hotel to put it away before tonight’s show. It came in handy to know multiple jewelers in different states as well as different countries. 

There were still about two weeks to go until the actual party, but everything was just about ready and set into place.

You were excited to be able to do this for your boyfriend and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

He had spoiled you early on in your relationship and you wanted to be able to return the favor. 

Once you reached your shared hotel room with Jack, you walked in to see your suitcases by the door and Jack sitting on the bed with a defeated look on his face. 

“Umm, did I miss something? Is everything okay?” You asked while trying to come closer to Jack, but he immediately got up and moved away from you.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked while setting the bag down that contained his necklace on the nightstand.

“I should have known it was too good to be true, so you can take your shit and this plane ticket and go the fuck home. I don’t need to be cheated on again. And the fact that you did this knowing my trust issues? You got some fucking nerve.”

“First of all, what? And second of all, I would NEVER cheat on you.”

“Well that’s the same thing she said and she did and ended up getting pregnant in the process.”

“Jack, where is this coming from?!”

“It doesn’t matter, you got caught.”

“I didn’t get caught because I didn’t even do anything. You know how much I care about you!”

“Do I?” Jack asked and your breath hitched in your throat.

“I would never. I know how it feels too so why in the world would I do that to you?! You won't even tell me who I apparently cheated on you with!”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore. Here’s your ticket and I want you gone by the time I get back from my show.” Jack said while leaving it on the bed and slamming the door behind him.

You were at a loss for words and immediately started to cry.

Confused, hurt were just a few things that you were feeling and you just didn’t understand how the two of you had gotten to this point.

You looked down at the ticket to see that the flight was for 7 PM which was two hours from now and decided to catch an uber to the airport.

If he wanted you gone, he was going to get his wish.

And he better not come crawling back to you either once he realized what he did.  

Jack’s show was about to start and Ace was looking all over for you since he had a suggestion about the party and wanted to run it by you. He went to go ask Jack and when he went into his dressing room, he saw him with a pissed off look on his face and Druski not even acknowledging his presence.

“Where’s Y/N? Has anyone seen her?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Druski said and Ace looked at him confused.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Jack, where is your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend and she should be on a plane going home by now 30,000 feet in the air.” 

Ace was immediately confused.

“What? Why? What happened?”

“You two happened, that’s what. I should have known that it was too good to be true talking about we only hooked up once, but we’re still friends and don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Because we fucking don’t! I’ve been trying to get at one of her best friends, Blanca! So where the fuck is this coming from? As much as she talks about you and how highly she talks about you, ain’t no way in hell she would cheat, especially with me!”

“Then what the fuck were yall doing all cozy and shit this entire week?” Druski asked and Ace immediately got quiet.

“Don’t get quiet now. I have the pictures to prove it.” Druski added while Jack was simply scrolling through his phone trying to not think about his girlfriend cheating on him with one of his best friends.

“Pictures to prove what exactly? Her planning a surprise party for him for his birthday in two weeks? Is that it? Because that’s what we’ve been doing and she’s actually been doing this for an entire fucking month.” 

“Wait, what?” Jack asked while putting his phone down and looking at Ace.

“Now you really thought I would hurt you like that and sleep with your girlfriend when all she asked for was my help because she wanted to do something special for you? All she does is talk about you.”

“Oh shit.” Druski muttered while looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Here, you can check my text messages to her to prove it.” Ace said while handing Jack his phone and he began scrolling to see that he was in fact telling the truth.

“You’re more of a dumbass than I thought and now you’ve probably lost her for good. She deserved better than you kicking her off tour and sending her home all because of a miscommunication and you probably didn’t even give her a chance to explain. And knowing Blanca, she is not going to let you anywhere near her because I know she’s going to tell her what you did. So congratulations, you just fucked up your relationship with a girl who would do absolutely anything for you. Oh, should I mention that the party was going to take place at one of her family’s vacation houses, with a private chef and she was flying in your parents, grandparents as well as Clay? You don’t deserve any of it for how you treated her.”

All Jack could do was sit there in utter disbelief.

“And Druski, the next time, I mean if there is one since you know Y/N is probably done with his ass and might be done with me too since I introduced them to each other, just fucking ask me.” Ace said before slamming Jack’s dressing room door behind him.

“I..” Druski started to say, but Jack immediately held up his hand to cut him off.

“You better come up with a good fucking plan in order for me to get my girlfriend back since all of this is your damn fault.” 

Taglist:

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[onyourhyuck]

[ 10:00 PM ]

prologue- “you smell really nice.” + “I’m cold come closer.”

tw- fluff, jaemin boyfriend scenarios, fem!y/n, jaemin is literally the king of bf materials. i won’t ever get over this hot sauce photoshoot look of jaemin…not really a smut but there are mentions of it. Jaem’s obsessed with y/n smell hehe

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“I’m cold come closer.” your boyfriend softly nags. y/n begins to shove closer into her clingy boyfriend’s arms. he wraps them round like there was no tomorrow guaranteed.

currently you two were having one of this lazy at home dates instead of going out for dinner and doing something extravagant. you and jaemin were both introverted people so you both preferred to be home anyways. your home dates right now is watching shrek 1, 2 and 3.

but as you were so focused on the tv screen really invested in this series. jaemin took an accidental whiff of your hair, the scent was fruity and sweet something he really likes, he soon realises it’s your entire scent and he was fighting the urge to smell you all over again.

you see, your boyfriend here has a very strong sense of smell and it is quite sensitive at times. Hence why you don’t really put on too much perfume when you’re with him as it bothers him. But he does like this newly found scent that you used .

“You smell really nice.”

He comments. Jaemin buried himself into the back of your neck and hair, humming at the pleasant smell. You speak but didn’t break eye contact from the tv. “Yeah? It’s my new body wash and shampoo.”

he hums linking arms with you as he kisses your neck, against it lowly speaking. “I think this is my favourite.”

you smile as your eyes travel to look at jaemin who was awfully distracting you from your childhood shrek series. you wrap your arms round his neck and straddle his lap sitting on it.

“you’re bored aren’t you?” y/n would ask and Jaemin slightly pouts. “of you? never. of shrek because we rewatched it like 100 times, yes, I am very bored.”

“but shrek is my favourite!” you whined and Jaemin leans closer holding your hips sighing. “How about we do something else…”

y/n glances up at him wondering what else could be way better than watching shrek with your lover. Jaemin leans in pulling your face into a lovingly steamy kiss as he runs his hands down your body. You let out soft mutters now getting the idea of what he meant by something else.

you told yourself mentally that you won’t fall for his love tricks, but little did you know you found yourself being pulled into it and falling for it quicker. Jaemin knows just how much of an effect he has on you.

he loved it. Having so much control over you just as much as control you have over him.

“god you are really into this idea, more than me I think.” he tells between the kisses you were so quickly reconnecting, almost as if you didn’t want to part away from his lips on yours.

y/n opens her eyes and breaks out of the kiss where she pulls away suddenly, turning back to the tv with a soft pout. “you tricked me again.” you tell jaemin who giggles. “Awh come on don’t play shrek again.”

“shush or else i’ll start from the first movie again!”

“yes m’am I’m going to silently suffer with a minor boner you’re sitting on.”

Anything but restarting shrek sounds like heaven right now to jaemin.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you! Reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out to keep you updated <3

[ryloriee678999]

Bittersweet (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Summary: you give your girlfriend one last call. (804 words)

Warning: major character death and stab wounds. 

Weakly you grab your phone to call Natasha. You smile when there's a bar of signal, it was lucky though because you’re in the middle of nowhere on some bench. 

You can't quite remember her number right now so you click on her contact, briefly smiling at the photo of her you saw every time you called her. You hold the phone up to your ear, your elbow right above the deep laceration slashed across your torso. The brightness from your phone is the only beam of light besides the one lamp post across from you. Everything else was pitch black.

911 wouldn't come in time and where you settled is like a ghost town. No one was around to see you bleed out and no one would come. So instead, you call your girlfriend in hopes to hear her voice one last time.

 The phone stops ringing shortly after, you barely notice. You didn't think she would pick up since it’s about 2 in the morning but she did.

“Hello?” She says. You can hear the tiredness and confusion in her voice. If it wasn't for the pain that filled your body, you might have felt bad about waking her up. “Hey,” you greet, as cheerfully as you can sound. It only dawns on you now how painful this is. 

Natasha sits up right away at the sound of your voice. The mission was non-contact so she was surprised that you were calling her. “Baby is that you? Is everything okay? How's the mission?.” You could hear how desperate she sounded.

“I just wanted to call, see how everything is, I miss you,” you respond, purposely ignoring her questions. It was hard for you to lie to her.

“I miss you too,” she sighs. “But you’re back tomorrow, right?”

You bite your lip to hide a whimper, another gush of blood stains your shirt. “Sorry, I still have a few things to tie up.” You were dying. “I think it will be a few more days.”

You knew Natasha was frowning, it made your heart clench She hated when you went away no matter how short. The mission was only supposed to last a few days and you should be coming home tomorrow if it wasn’t for the complication you faced. “So how’s everything back home?” You ask, just wanting her to hear her speak.

“Same shit as always. Training, paperwork, but I talked to Wanda and…” she continues on. For a second you bring the phone away from your ear to adjust the sweater that is wrapped around your body. It failed to compress the wound so you tightened it further with a grunt.

When you brought the phone back to your ear you heard her still rambling, something about a party. “Is everything okay?” She asks, her voice going from happy to concern in an instant. She must've heard you.

“Yeah, just stubbed my toe, hurts like a bitch,” you laugh. “ Anyway, what was that about a party?”

“Well Tony is holding something to launch his new products and he wants everyone there,” she explains, making it sound worse than it really is. “We should go.”

You feel yourself smile a little, “are you asking me out?” You tease, but feel yourself getting weaker right after. Even though it's the middle of summer, you feel so cold. You’d much rather be in her arms right now.

“Shut up, never mind.” You can visualize her rolling her eyes, wishing you were in bed next to her. “So are you coming with me?” she asks after a pause

You space out, her voice almost sounds like it's underwater. The only thing bringing you back is another sharp sting that felt like getting stabbed all over again. 

“lyubov? You there?” 

“Yeah I'm just tired, of course I’ll go with you,” you say. It would be a little far to say you’d rather die than go, but I guess that's the reality. “Why don't you go to sleep?” She suggested. “You have more stuff to do tomorrow, I don't want you doing it exhausted.” 

“Okay,” you mumble, fighting your eyes awake as black dots start to show up in your vision.  “I’ll see you soon. be safe, okay?”

“Yeah,” you pause for a second, thinking about what final words to say to her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she responds with a smile. 

Your hands drop to your sides, letting your phone hit the ground as tears swell up in your eyes. You’re not afraid of dying, it was saying goodbye that was hard. You didn't have to think about it for too long though, your head started to go blank and all your pain numbed. 

You must have forgotten to hang up the phone because right before everything ends, you hear your girlfriend say her last words to you. “Goodnight, love.”