#tombstone date night but sam is there also
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thevioletcaptain · 6 months ago
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🌵🤠🙄
Crouched down behind the bar at the back of the room, Dean pushes bottles around until he finds the little box of cactus-shaped cocktail sticks left over from Jack’s “Green Stuff” themed birthday party (Dean’s given up on questioning the kid’s requests) and holds them up triumphantly.
“Got ‘em!”
Sam peers around the back of his recliner and narrows his eyes as Dean makes his way back to the couch and plonks back into his seat, shaking a few out into his hand and sticking them into several cubes of cheese and deli meats on the platter he’d set up earlier.
“What are those, pickles?”
“They’re cactuses, man. They’re thematically relevant to the movie. Y’know, cowboys, deserts, cactuses.”
“Oh my god, I told you we are not watching it again,” Sam groans.
“Well, it’s what’s playing in the Deanplex tonight, and there’s only one screen, so—”
“The Deanplex? Really?”
“You kept whining about me calling it the Dean Cave,” Dean reminds him. “Reap what you sow.”
“Dean. I’m serious. No more Tombstone.”
“It’s a classic!”
“So is Citizen Kane, but we don’t need to watch it six times a year!”
Dean makes a face. Slaps Sam’s hand away when he tries to take one of the cubes of colby jack before he’s had a chance to stick a cactus in it.
“Okay, one? Citizen Kane is boring as fuck and you know it.”
“Not the point,” Sam huffs.
“And B? What are you talking about, six times? Who’s watched it six times?”
Sam stares, then raises his hand to count them off on his fingers.
“We watched it on your birthday,” he starts, raising his index finger.
Dean rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s one of my favorite movies. Choosing the movie is a time-honored birthday tradition.”
“So then why did we have to watch it on my birthday?”
“Hey, that’s on you, man. Not my fault you struck out on your date and came home when me and Cas had already hit play.”
“I didn’t strike out, Eileen had to—”
“And anyway, that’s only two times, so—”
Sam raises his second and third finger and cuts him off.
“We watched it again on Valentine’s Day.”
“Again, when you were supposed to be out! I don’t see why I have to suffer just because you can’t seem to manage to get a date with Eileen to continue past 7pm.”
Sam ignores the dig and lifts his fourth finger.
“We watched it on Jack’s birthday.”
“His choice, and as we’ve established: it’s birthday tradition,” Dean reminds him, and shrugs. “Kid inherited my good taste genes, I guess.”
“That’s not — that doesn’t make sense on literally any level.”
“Says you.”
“You’re not even his father!”
“How dare you say that about my son,” Dean says in exaggerated horror, and Sam grits his teeth, visibly making the decision not to push that particular argument, even as Dean can tell how infuriated he is.
He lifts his thumb.
“And then we watched it again two weeks ago, and— fine, yeah, that one I’ll give you, ‘cause it was like. The anniversary of that time we had the hunt in Tombstone when Cas just came back from the dead, so. Fine. But dude. Two weeks ago. It’s only July and we’ve already watched it five times this year. We are not watching it for a sixth.”
“It’s National Day of the Cowboy, Sam! How are we not gonna watch the best cowboy movie of all time on the Day of the Cowboy?”
“You’re still arguing about this?”
Cas’ voice floats over from the doorway, and Dean looks over to see him wearing the denim Western shirt Dean bought him for the occasion. The pearl snaps glint, silvery in the light from the TV screen where Tombstone is loaded and ready to play.
“Yeah, ‘cause Sam’s being unreasonable.”
“I’m not—”
“You realize I left to drop Jack off with his friends almost an hour ago,” Cas points out.
“Remind me again what he’s doing with his friends,” Dean says, and looks at Sam to see his reaction when Cas answers.
“They’re celebrating National Day of the Cowboy by watching the Dollars trilogy in Eliot’s backyard.”
“Sounds like Jack and his friends are getting into the sprit of the holiday,” Dean says pointedly.
“It’s not a holiday!”
“They’ve set up a projector to show the films on the side of the barn,” Cas goes on.
“Okay, so hey— a compromise,” Sam offers. “Why don’t we just watch the Dollars trilogy?”
“…oh, did you think we were only watching Tombstone tonight?” Dean asks, bemused. “Dude, that’s just the appetizer. We’ve got a whole damn buffet to get through.”
“I hate you so much,” Sam tells him, but he’s already given up. He snatches up several pieces of cheese and slouches back in his chair. “Start the damn movie.”
“Hey, man,” Dean says, and settles into the couch, spreading his arm for Cas to settle against before he kicks his cowboy-booted heels up onto the edge of the coffee table and hits play. “You’re the one who keeps crashing date night.”
[written for this prompt game] [find me on ao3 as imogenbynight 💚]
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nalyra-dreaming · 5 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/virginiaisforvampires/755563582540873728/am-i-the-only-one-feeling-slightly-irrationally this ask is exactly how i feel. added to the fact that rolin, sam etc. have confirmed it was real, and the fact that it was so clearly an objective pov (an important department from that reunion in the books)… i truly don’t understand the logic behind finding it fake/contested and idk why anyone would want that. it was the absolute highlight of the finale/a major standout of the season in general and it would be frustrating and meaningless in retrospect if louis made it up
*sighs* Look, it bears repeating, that I do not "want" for it to be "made up" - or the book canonically "contested meeting", I just expect it to. That's two different things.
I also don't quite know why there needs to be discourse around it.
What we saw and were given does not match - once more.
That is something that has been true for most of what we saw in season 1 and 2. Lestat didn't have stab wounds in his back after he was stabbed, he didn't sit next to Louis after giving his blood he lay down. The train schedules didn't match with what else Louis narrated. The presidential speech was given at two different evenings in the tale. The years are all a year off. The dates on the tombstones does not match. The breakfast discussion does not match with Louis and Lestat meeting for months. Antoinette's finger was clearly taken off (again?) after murder night.
AND. SO. ON.
It's a tale.
The odyssey of recollection. Memory is a monster.
Louis get's the details wrong - often.
"Was it raining, Louis?"
Whether the meeting was real or not does not matter right now.
What matters is what it means... to Louis.
What matters is what we were supposed to realize through it.
Namely that Louis forgave himself and Lestat a big chunk of their shared history, and that he allowed himself to grieve... and that he knows Lestat grieved/grieves her as well.
Was it real? We'll probably never know. Does that matter? Not really, it's a book nod I bet.
Did the scene itself matter? VERY MUCH SO.
And it was hauntingly beautiful and I love it.
So. As a book reader, I expect these writers to latch onto the one book canonically contested meeting scene, yes. They surely added the elements to echo it - the state Lestat was in, the weird fledgling bringing food to Lestat.
But ultimately that does not matter, if it is contested or not.
It's beautiful. And the meaning of it is, too.
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rosemariad · 9 months ago
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Supernatural season 13
I've heard of the widower arc that takes place during the early part of this season but geez
Dean looks so depressed – the desolation, the hopelessness. Poor Dean Bean, lost his angel yet again. You can't help but feel for the poor guy (for now…)
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Then the instant 180, uno reverse this man takes in his demeanor. He's so happy Cas is back. AND having a big cowboy adventure! They're spoiling this man after the widower arc. Jack & Sam are not down for it but Dean's been so miserable they shut the fuck up.
Dean swallowing deeply when Cas quotes Tombstone – confirmation they have movie nights together (ALONE??????) if they were alone during these movie nights – they're basically dating w/o clarifying that they are actually dating – and they're coparenting, my goodness! The domestication is real!
We later find out Dean snuck a quick shot of Cas in the little cowboy hat he made him wear for the case. Wow.
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But as a side note - I did NOT appreciate how shitty Dean was to Jack. He was basically abusing him verbally like WTF give the kid a damn chance - don’t make death threats to the newborn child that was literally born yesterday like the fuck #jackdefensesquad. Like anything bad that jack actually does, he’ll think back to the moments where Dean was like ‘oh he’s a monster’ ’when you go dark side, I’ll be the one to kill you’ yeah like maybe that’s what pushed him to that point. It’s no surprise Jack chooses to leave. My ass would’ve been gone. Also was Cas made aware of the threats Dean made to Jack???
They’re making it REALLY HARD to like Dean this season. MoC was bad, Demon!Dean too but evil forces were at work. This time he got no excuse — threatening at 16 yr old girl who has no one in her corner. They’re basically forcing her to help them for nothing in return. Unbelievable 🤬 And Sam, wtf? Would it kill you to stand up to your fuckin’ brother!
Anyway - Jack’s power is totally cool though.
Kaia…was killed by an alternate self? Whaaaaaat?
So this was the season they tried for the Wayward Girls? Shame it didn’t work out…like the premise is cool BUT since the main show barely give the women characters the time of day, is it any wonder that a pilot didn’t work? The showrunners only seem good with moments - but no building up of the narrative like the male counterparts AKA main cast. Also - what would be the conflict - give people a reason to keep watching the girls - their storylines seem more or less resolved - Jody has already mourned the loss of her family, its not like she became Batman or something to fight a war against criminality. Claire has also gotten past the loss of her parents (as far as we know but honestly she should’ve been part of the main narrative as her life had been directly affected by Castiel’s actions and we all know why Cas bothers to get up in the morning…anyway), Donna doesn’t seem to have anything going on - she’s divorced but over it, Alex is over her dark past, Patience is just seeming to get a hand of her abilities - like where are the stakes??? Sam and Dean had a whole quest to embark on, then they had to navigate fraternal relationship while fighting monsters all the time, slowly unraveling an overarching narrative that’s taken over their lives. Where’s that for the ladies????
I spoke too soon - Donna’s niece gets kidnapped and Doug is her boyfriend (wow totally forgot about that guy, certainly didn’t think he’d return) and once he gets turned into a vampire but cured of it, he’s done. Before he leaves Donna, he calls her a hero. Honestly, if I ended up having a partner/lover who killed dangerous supernatural creatures, I wouldn’t leave them. I’d stick by them and have them teach me a few things. Oh well. Maybe Donna will run to Jody to have a shoulder to cry on ;) I know y’all JodyxDonna shippers are out there.
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Scoobynatural was fucking legendary! I loved watching Scooby doo as a kid, from when they were literal babies, to the OG episodes, to the revamp from the early 2000s, all the movies! (Zombie Island was the best!). It was a genuine delight watching the Winchesters (and Cas) cross paths with Mystery Inc. makes me wish they met Buffy and Ash from Evil Dead. That would’ve been awesome! Watching Dean say scooby dooby doo was total cringe tho :/ I love that Cas shut him down 🤣🤣
That ascot though? He’s wearing it all wrong, its supposed to be stuffed in, like how Fred wears it. And certainly not worn with plaid. SMH…
But now I totally want Supernatural as a fucking cartoon! Just like Scooby Doo - it would’ve been fucking glorious, Dean’s unhinge-able jaw, the kooky facial expressions, the comedic effects, and who knows, it would’ve given the show-runners the artistic freedom to reveal the true form of angels, namely, Castiel’s. Oh well.
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Donatello is…dead? I know they said Brain dead but after Amara sucked out his soul and Cas fucked up his brain, isn’t he better off dead? Par for the course for a prophet though, sucks for him.
Funny how Rowena suddenly wants to be the good mom and try to bring her demon son back after CENTURIES of chances. Sure she may not have known what became of Fergus since she left him, but I’m sure it wouldn’t have taken much to find out. She just didn’t want to. Now she’s filled with regret. And Sam’s destined to murder her? And she didn’t take him out? Okay, well then I guess it’s only a matter of time until she dies😒 not this season though, she’s too useful with her witchy powers to be killed off until she serves whatever purpose is convenient 😒
Angels are almost extinct :( I know they’re meant to be seen as controlling jerks but so is Dean XD lol anyway that’s a bummer with devastating consequences cuz if there’s no angels - they said all the souls will fall to Earth and become ghosts - billions in number - yeah. If it were me I would’ve just said the souls disappear but it ain’t my show 🤷🏽‍♀️
Naomi is back and I don’t even care - I’m sorry but I just don’t care about Apocalypse world either, I feel like it’s a grand waste of time. The fact that Charlie and Bobby are there doesn’t even matter cuz it’s not them. It’s not the Charlie and Bobby we got to know before. They’re just counterparts of another world, echoes of the fallen. When Dean says I can’t lose you, dude you literally just met her. And they’re expected to what, abandon the world they were born into? The fuck?
And fuck this show for killing Kevin TWICE!!! Kevin you were too precious for this universe/multiverse, whatever.
ketch is the latest (aside from rowena) of former villains/enemies/antagonist in supernatural that's suddenly we're supposed to be sympathetic towards since they switch sides and help the winchesters for a change but what's the reason??? I feel it's a little out there that Dean especially would let ketch live after what he put his mom through but whatever. since the show runners insisted with this whole apocalypse world crap, Dean would have died without ketch's help 😑
Gabriel has returned…only to die…again…awesome. at least he got to fuck rowena before he passed away 🤣😅
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Luci got fucked over hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha
Bobby x Mary, oh man John would be roaring in his grave…if he had one 🤣 [got burned to ashes in season 2], Bobby finna take his whole family, first his sons now his wife ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Luci resurrected someone? And nothing bad happened? Now tht’s a twist. I figured since he’s Satan she’d turn into a demon or something, but i guess not cuz we’re definitely not gonna see her again…
You know since I’ve seen The Boys I can see a resemblance between homelander and the devil, they both blow up in anger very similarly. When jack tells Luci, you’re not my father, he raged in a way that was eerily like Homelander would’ve. Just thought I’d point that out…
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Dean lets in Alt-Michael - Oh Lord above its the apocalypse all over again (this was a cool shot though) - meanwhile what’s OG Michael doing? Is he still in the Cage with Adam? Really? You had to bring an extra Michael into this nonsense? Ok 🙄 You know if Luci had possessed Sam too, it would’ve been a wrap!
Jack is powerless…for now? This poor kid was gonna kill himself?! Honey why? Ugh I’m blaming Dean for this. He put the seed in that kid’s head he was nothing but trouble and he was going to sacrifice himself, poor baby!
Cas why would you let Dean go?!?! Too sad to follow him into battle after Dean let Alt-Michael in?
Why can’t Sam get a super powerful Big Bad kill huh? Why is it always Dean? Geez.
So the only good things to happen this season were Scooby Doo and Jack meeting Cas. Ugh, their meetup was soo cute ^_^
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Welp only 2 seasons left, the last that’s over 20 episodes. Which means we only have 40 episodes to go til the end…goodie 😅
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I don't think Jess died on Halloween, because Sam left her late in the night on Halloween/November 1st, (after they went to the Halloween party and Sam talked about how much he hated Halloween, thus marking the starting date for us.) Then the boys work on the case all the next day (the 1st) and kill the woman in white presumably, either late, late on November 1st, or very early in the morning (1:00 or 2:00) on the 2nd. Then Dean drives Sam all the way home, getting him there in the middle of the night (3:00 or 4:00 in the morning) on November 2nd. So, Jessica died on the 2nd, and I believe this timeline is why it's commonly accepted that she died on that date, it's just confirmed by her tombstone.
I don't think we need to cling too closely to trying to match exact days of the week to the proper date of the month within our real world, given that, in-show, a whole year passes from season 7 to season 8 while it was only a few months in the real world.
Also, it makes perfect sense to me that Azazel would plan for Jess' death to fall on the same day as Mary's, because he killed her in exactly the same way; likely cause he got his kicks from mirroring their deaths, and completely screwing with Sam's life, no doubt hoping to cause irreparable damage to his psyche, making it that much easier for Lucifer to get a yes from him when the time came.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble - this post just got me thinking. 😁
Oh and Jess' tombstone JUMP SCARE! is in Wendigo. 😄 I remember cause I've warned myself against it several times now. (Doesn't matter, I still jump!!) 😏
Fucked up and evil to give Dean and Jess the same birthday and it's Eric Kripke's wife's birthday.
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babesonly · 4 years ago
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fic recs 2.0!
hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest
Canonverse
I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)
I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.
Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.
"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.
a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it
on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)
“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”
hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible
dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)
Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.
dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh
Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)
Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.
hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !
walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)
Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.
S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god
the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)
Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."
MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god
Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)
Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.
Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs
JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 
hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)
Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.
they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah
Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)
In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.
sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...
an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)
Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.
The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.
hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life
Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)
This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 
ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...
love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)
ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!
These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.
for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot
the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)
“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”
“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.
And it used to belong to someone else.
this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out
Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)
Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.
cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much
Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)
The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.
written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3
sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)
"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.
very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good
Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)
“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”
Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.
early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please
Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)
Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.
Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.
oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot
all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)
“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”
Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.
“I mean it,” Dean insisted.
“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”
hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good
The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)
He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.
this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading
till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)
Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.
hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3
First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)
“We should go on a date. You and me.”
Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.
“I’m asking you out, Cas.”
this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together
Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)
Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”
op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible
the shape you take by noviembre (10k)
“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”
And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”
Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:
Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.
Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”
--
Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.
dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you
Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)
Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).
yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?
you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)
Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.
Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.
love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 
The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)
While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.
a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible
No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)
“We should fuck,” Dean says.
Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.
There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.
Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”
literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex
Bodies by Speary (18k)
It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.
i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality
it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)
So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.
“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”
“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.
Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.
“What do you remember, Cas?”
“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."
or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?
BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.
More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)
Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.
He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.
Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.
this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!
Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)
"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."
Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.
Dean was done with this shit.
***
Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.
it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 
I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)
His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.
His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.
this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this
To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)
Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.
In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.
mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this
where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)
“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”
this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot
Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)
After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.
Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.
yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3
Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)
In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.
(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)
cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much
Emergence by ellispark (58k)
Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.
A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.
another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god
a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)
Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.
Frigging fantastic.
(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)
cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved
Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)
Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds
Or
An ethics lesson from Hell
Or
The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.
deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended
Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)
Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.
There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.
Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.
With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.
saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read
Casefic/Roadtrip Fic
Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)
Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.
He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.
Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.
Castiel stills.
“Dean?”
the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much
before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)
The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.
chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now
we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)
Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.
fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.
thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)
After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.
OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.
this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good
Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)
It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.
actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this
best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)
It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.
the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this
the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)
This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.
alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times
Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)
Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.
Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.
Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.
hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much
Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)
Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.
Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?
one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3
Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial
Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)
Based on the tumblr textpost:
jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store
this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face
Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)
“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.
Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.
“What is it, Cas?”
“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.
“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”
There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.
dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.
tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)
Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.
It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.
Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.
Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.
Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.
i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much
Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)
Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.
Dean will tell him—
Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.
cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3
dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)
Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.
Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.
obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny
Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)
The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.
Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.
the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 
Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)
When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:
Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.
The reality of the moment is this:
It’s fucking cold.
dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences
my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)
“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
--
In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am
killing time by orestespdf (11k)
It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.
(A character study of Castiel.)
perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.
and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)
Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.
--
aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.
a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah
for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)
'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken
"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "
Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.
mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD
swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)
Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.
Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.
this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through
looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)
"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."
Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.
EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal
what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)
It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.
~~~
"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"
"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."
deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic
Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)
Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.
So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.
And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.
"Hello, Dean."
oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this
break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)
The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.
SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss
ascend by quiettewandering (53k)
Something in the world is wrong.
Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.
But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.
Or can it?
SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should
oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)
Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.
~~~
"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"
Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.
Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.
"What?" Dean grits out.
"I love you, too."
the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying
Endverse
final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)
“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”
"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."
endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god
The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)
The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."
this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds
to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)
cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.
oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao
the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)
The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.
this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach
Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)
There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.
The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.
PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.
Non Supernatural AUS
Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)
Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”
Reflexively, Dean laughs.
Castiel does not.
“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”
look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it
One White Lie by komodobits (11k)
Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.
He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”
do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.
separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)
Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.
~~~
For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.
God, he's so fucking stupid.
Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.
"Three years ago," Cas prompts.
Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."
this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please
Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)
The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.
(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).
this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him
Non Destiel Centric
gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)
sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 
HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 
the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)
Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.
required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good
Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)
In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)
for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3
Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)
Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."
this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this
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clairenatural · 4 years ago
Note
Movie night, nervous dean, blanket
My three word prompt, sorry I know it's not technically three words.. I would really appreciate a ficlet, love your account and love you ❤❤❤❤
(this is so sweet thank you!!! I’ll count “movie night” and “nervous dean” as one word each :) ~800 words, I hope you enjoy!! also I’m pretending that there’s a couch in the Dean Cave ok just go with it)
“Alright, who’s ready for some Indy?” Dean calls, rounding the corner into the Dean Cave. He’s got a huge bowl of popcorn, an armful of beers, and is ready for a movie night with his brother and his best friend—
He stops. “Where’s Sam?”
Cas smiles as he looks up from his phone, but the smile dies on his face at the look on Dean’s. “Eileen’s. Apparently, he was needed elsewhere.” There’s a pause that’s more tense than it should be. “Is that alright?”
“Yeah! Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Dean plasters on a fake grin and sets the popcorn on a side table before sinking into one end of the couch. It’s as far away as possible from Cas, who looks at him, eyebrows raised. “What?” Dean asks, and when Cas doesn’t say anything, he stubbornly turns his attention back to the popcorn.
It shouldn’t be weird. They’ve done movie nights alone plenty of times. He’s shown Cas all the Star Wars movies, and Tombstone, and all the classic westerns. But that was before. Before Cas left—before Dean didn’t stop him. Before purgatory, the second time. Before he’d gotten down on his knees and prayed to Cas for the first time in what felt like forever, and told him (almost) everything. He’d been about to take the final leap, too, when Cas cut him off. You don’t have to say it. I heard your prayer.
And maybe that was for the best. Hell, maybe Cas did hear that part, and he was cutting Dean off for his own good.
Either way, now he was here. And Cas was here. Without Sam. Which was fine, because they were fine. Right?
Cas is still staring at him.
Dean presses play.
He puts the popcorn bowl on the couch next to him and passes a beer to Cas, who takes it—and scoots over, directly next to the popcorn bowl. Directly next to Dean.
He doesn’t even eat popcorn, so that’s—weird.
The movie plays, but Dean isn’t paying attention. Cas has taken off his trench coat and suit jacket, which he’s been doing more, lately. Something about his powers sputtering out making comfort more important, or something. He’s been sleeping, too, even though he pretends like he hasn’t been. Now, he’s reaching into the popcorn bowl, and only wincing a bit when the molecules hit his tongue. Dean tracks the movement intensely—out of concern, of course. Concern. For his friend. He definitely doesn’t time his movements so their fingers brush against each other in the popcorn bowl when Cas goes back in, like he’s a kid on his first movie date.
They finish the popcorn, and Dean moves the bowl unceremoniously to the floor, and then suddenly the bowls-width that separates them seems like a lot less space than it did with the thing actually there. Close enough that if Dean was a kid on his first movie date, he could do the cliché yawn-and-stretch move. Instead when he reaches out, it’s for the old blanket lying across the couch instead, mostly just to have something to occupy his hands. He wraps it around himself like cocoon and tells himself that now he can’t do anything stupid like try to hold Cas’ hand.
He enjoys his pocket of warmth and security for approximately 10 seconds, until he looks up and makes eye contact with Cas. The angel looks away, but not before Dean reads the odd sort of longing in his expression.
Dean looks at the blanket. He looks back at Cas. He takes a deep breath and makes a decision.
He kicks Cas in the shin, only hard enough to get his attention, and then wordlessly lifts up one half of the blanket.
Maybe he’s getting cold now, too, Dean thinks, as Cas smiles and moves closer, picking up the other end.
Maybe angels huddle for warmth he reasons, as Cas shuffles closer yet again; but he doesn’t pull back, and the angel seems to take that as permission to close in on Dean until they’re pressed together, shoulder to ankle.
“Thank you,” Cas says, so quietly it’s almost inaudible under the action of the movie, which definitely just means thank you for sharing your blanket because I, an Angel of the Lord, am cold.
Dean’s thought process has been reduced to the flimsy excuse of I need to make sure he doesn’t catch a cold when he slips an arm around Cas’ shoulders, and by the time Cas finds his hand under the blankets and links their fingers together his brain has short-circuited past the point of arguing.
He doesn’t remember the rest of the movie, or the gradual slide down the couch from sitting to lying down, but when he blinks awake the next morning it’s with Cas on top of him, soundly asleep, dark hair tickling his nose. He shouldn’t be asleep, and Dean will worry about it later—but for now, he closes his eyes and tries to commit the feeling to memory.
He doesn’t notice the note on the table, hastily scribbled in Sam’s handwriting: you’re welcome.
[for my follower celebration]
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bourbonbees · 3 years ago
Text
Suptober Day 6- Cemetery Boys
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34336042
Rating- G Jack POV
Jack has discovered there are a great deal of things that he loves about being human, he loves eating cake, taking his dog for walks, and swimming, but there’s nothing he loves more than his family. His family is not conventional, he’s got three dads, one of which is an angel, but all of them love him unconditionally. It’s rocky at first with Dean but after some quality time spent listening to Zep and going fishing together, the grumpy hunter warms up to him. It also doesn’t hurt that Jack’s first dad, Castiel, is also Dean’s partner and therefore holds a lot of sway over him, whether he likes it or not. Sam, his third dad was the best! He’s the one that establishes family movie night, Jack’s favorite night of the week!
Sam lets Jack pick the movies pretty much every week, much to Dean’s dismay. This week Jack chooses Ghostbusters as his pick. It’s great, he especially loves the jokes and the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man. He isn’t sure where the writers did their research for the movie though, his experiences with ghosts contain a lot less whimsy and a lot more salting and burning. The movie is just wrapping up when it hits him, they don’t have a name, every great team of heroes has a name.
“Hey, why don’t we have a name?” Jack poses the question, looking to Dean for a response.
“Kid, how much candy have you had? Are you sugar crashing? Remember, me Dean, you Jack, that annoying guy over there, Sam, this adorable ray of sunshine, Castiel.” Dean is concerned, he feels Jack’s forehead and looks him over, his parental instincts kicking in.
“No like a team name! Like there’s The Avengers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, uh The Fellowship of the Ring.” Jack lists off, Sam sending him a proud smile at the last one.
“Jack, hunters don’t really do teams. We’re kinda solitary, it’s our nature.” Sam explains, causing Jack even further confusion as he looks around at his family. They do everything together, live together, celebrate wins together, spend holidays together, work together, is that not a team?
“We’re not a team? Isn’t a family a team?” Jack frowns, worrying that he’s misread a long series of social cues. He is prone to that sometimes, his brain working a bit differently from his dads, neurodivergent, that’s what Sam had called it.
“Jack, oh, of course we’re a team. But more than that, we’re family.” Cas swoops in, reaching over and patting Jack on the shoulder. Cas is always the gentlest of his dads, he gives really good hugs, and is the one Jack goes to on the days where being a human is too much to deal with.
“Would it make you feel better if we had a team name?” Dean offers, following Cas’ lead. Jack doesn’t miss when Cas sends Dean a small nod of approval. Dean has a different parenting approach, sometimes he’s a bit harder on Jack. Jack doesn’t like that but he understands that Dean is trying.
“Yeah, I was thinking Cemetery Boys!” Jack says right away, looking around the room expectantly. Sam chokes slightly on his beer while Cas smiles approvingly, Dean laughs softly, shaking his head at Jack.
“Well we do spend a disproportionate amount of time in cemeteries, so it makes sense to me.” Jack defends, his cheeks feeling hot, blushing, that’s what Sam had told him it was. Sometimes Jack hates being human, blushing is embarrassing and makes him feel a bit like a baby.
“Shouldn’t we be cemetery men?” Dean questions, raising a quizzical brow at Jack.
“Technically speaking, Jack and myself are neither male nor female. So, no.” Cas supplies, shrugging his shoulders at Dean and earning an eye roll. Jack doesn’t understand why his dads enjoy teasing each other so much, maybe annoying someone was another human way to express love?
“So, you’re telling me, I came out as bisexual for nothing because, I’m not really dating a man?” Dean blanches, gently smacking Cas on the shoulder. Hitting people is another love language Jack has learned, but not too hard, he learned that after accidently punching Sam a little too enthusiastically on the shoulder. Play fighting is good, actual violence is bad, he had explained that to him.
“We’re non-binary! Claire taught me that.” Jack is happy to interrupt, always happy to share the latest things he’d learned. He loves Claire for that reason, she’s always full of new things to learn, she is an excellent big sister. “Claire, Me, Cas, and Dean, we’re all LGBLT? Or is it LGBTQ? Either way, Claire is a lesbian, she also taught me that. And Dean, you’re a bisexual! Cas, you’re gay, I think? So, you didn’t come out for nothing, you came out for your non-binary partner.” Ha! Jack is very proud, this is one area he feels confident he knows more about than Sam, Dean, or even Cas.
“You’re surprisingly well informed for a toddler.” Sam compliments, tipping his beer bottle at him.
“The toddler age range ends at 3, I assure you, Jack is 4. He is no longer a toddler. I read all the development books.” Cas corrects, earning a laugh from Dean and a groan from Sam.
“He did, trust me Sammy, made me read some of them as well. Babies are weird man. Glad you came out fully formed kid, it was a relief.” Dean chuckles. Jack is relieved he came out fully formed too, it’s a lot more fun hanging out with his family when he can talk to them like this.
“I’m a celestial being, age doesn’t exist for me. I am as old or as young as I want to be at any given minute. Isn’t that neat?” Jack prides himself on choosing this form, a teenage body, he likes it because he can help his family. He likes going hunting, driving cars, and helping Dean cook dinner, a baby couldn’t do any of that!
“He really is your son-uh I mean they really are your child?” Dean self corrects, Jack notices he does that a lot more lately, again he really is trying to be better. Jack admires that about Dean, it’s something he tries to emulate as best as he can, always working to be a better person and make his mistakes right.
“Oh, I’m comfortable with he/they, just like my dad! I do feel like a boy most of the time.” Jack looks to Cas who nods along with him. They’d talked about it once, Cas explained that Jack could change a number of things about himself if he wished, if it would better match his soul. But Jack is really and truly happy with who he is. So is Cas.
“Yeah that’s my son.” Cas says fondly, pulling Jack into a hug. This is a good hug, the kind that makes Jack feel safe and cared for. Cas always makes him feel like he belongs, that no matter what he has a place in his arms.
That night, Jack sets a plan into motion. He waits until everyone is asleep and gets to work on creating gifts for his family. He uses his powers to manifest a set of matching black crew neck sweatshirts with the words ‘Cemetery Boys’ embroidered on the front in white thread. He then designs a magnet, putting a little ghost and tombstone on it. Once he’s satisfied he goes through the recycling and finds a box to put the sweatshirts in.
The next part is the most dangerous. Jack, creeps down the hall to the door that leads into the garage attached to the bunker. His eyes glimmer when he finds his target, the black 67 Impala, sitting dead center in the garage. Dean had just waxed her the day before so she was extra shiny. Jack likes when Baby is shiny, it makes the sun reflect on his face, nice and warm. He takes the magnet and carefully places it on the bumper, making sure not to scuff or scratch the shiny metal. Then in a flash, he is back in his room, laying in his bed as if nothing has happened.
Dean doesn’t notice the magnet until they are packing for a hunt the next day, a simple salt and burn case in Wisconsin. The whole family is going! Dean has even promised Jack that he will take him to Wisconsin Dells if it goes well and they will go to a place called Deer Park where he could pet and feed a bunch of deer. Jack likes animals, sometimes more than people, they’re much less complicated.
“Oh my god! My Baby is a whore! You gave her a tramp stamp?” Dean gasps, pointing to the offending ‘Cemetery Boys’ magnet on the bumper.
“You like it? I made it myself!” Jack beams with pride, hoping Dean was speechless because he was blown away by his ability to create magnets.
“Also, the term you’re looking for is sex worker. You need to be more sex positive Dean, especially for someone, who from the sound I hear coming from your room at night, seems to enjoy sex a great deal.” Jack blurts out nervously when Dean doesn’t respond. Jack tends to do that, he wishes he could stop, another part of what makes him different from most people.
“Oh, for the love of Christ. Please Jack, no.” Sam is doing something Claire told Jack is a facepalm, meaning he was either embarrassed or frustrated, perhaps both?
“Do not be ashamed of our healthy sex life, Dean. But do but ashamed of your gendered slurs and generally overdramatic demeanor. The car is unharmed, it’s a magnet.” Cas steps in, doing the teasing thing again. Jack really doesn’t understand his dads, but he’s glad they seem happy together.
“I swear one day Baby and I will drive away and leave you all behind. Traitors.” Dean threatens, this is a joke, Jack measures. Dean does that a lot, uses sarcasm and empty threats, at first they used to confuse and frighten Jack but now he just accepts it’s part of his nature. Dean is grumpy. Loveable but grumpy.
“See your theatrics are quite comical. You couldn’t leave us if you tried. Who would open the pickle jars for you, darling?” Cas smirks, Jack remembers witnessing this scene, Dean saying all the “no words” at a jar of gherkins as he struggled for a good 5 minutes, until his dad took the jar and opened it within two seconds.
“It was one time! And I swear I loosened it!” Dean glowers, clearly ashamed by the great pickle debacle of last week.
“Dads, stop. I will remove the magnet.” Jack decides it’s his job to play peacemaker, he steps up and gently takes the magnet off baby’s bumper, Dean visibly sighs in relief. Jack tries to hide his disappointment, he’d meant the sticker as a gift.
Cas notices his mood shift and is by his side, pulling Jack into a side hug. “Hey, you can put it on my truck.” He offers, rubbing Jack’s back and making him instantly feel better, must be magic dad powers Jack figures.
“Thanks dad, this is why you’re my favorite.” He says without thinking, Sam and Dean giving him matching offended expressions.
“Uh-what about me, I’m the one that sneaks you candy when Cas isn’t looking.” Sam makes a good point, he is exceptionally good at sneaking. He and Jack have so much fun together, that’s how they ended up with Miracle the dog. Sam had helped Jack smuggle him into the bunker and once both Jack and Cas had bonded with the dog, Dean couldn’t kick him out. Though Jack knows that Dean loves the dog just as much, he’s caught him slipping Miracle some of the good bacon when he thinks no one is looking.
“No Dean is the one that gives me candy. You help me pull pranks!” Jack laughs as Dean, flinches, quickly busing himself with packing all their bags in the trunk along with the weapons they’d need.
“Dean!” Cas says in his low, ‘oh no you’re in trouble,’ voice. “We’ve dicussed this, Jack’s intake of high fructose corn syrup is frighteningly high. He needs to eat real food.” He adds. Nougat is a food, Jack thinks privately, nougat might be his favorite food in fact.
“He’s a kid, he’ll be fine. Dean and I lived on that shi-stuff as kids and we turned out alright.” Sam, usually the vegetable police, surprisingly comes to Jack and Dean’s rescue, earning a matching raised brow from them both.
“Did you though?” Cas challenges, hand on his hip, sometimes dad gets sassy. Jack likes when dad gets sassy because it’s funny, makes him laugh.
“Well damn, don’t sugar coat it or anything babe.” Dean says in disbelief, opening the passenger door for Cas, Sam climbing into Baby’s backseat before Dean motions for Jack to come sit behind him. “Do I even want to know?” He sighs as he spots the box Jack is carrying.
“Well you’ve all been distracting me, I almost forgot.” Jack pauses as he opens the box and holds up the Sam sized sweatshirt. “I made us all shirts! Team shirts, we’re the Cemetery Boys!” He says proudly, shoving the shirt at Sam, then two at Cas, one for him and one for Dean. Jack pulls on his own shirt right away, stretching his arms and modeling it for them all.
“Can you all wear them for me?” Jack pulls out his trump card for this one, using the ‘look’ that Sam had taught him. He made his eyes big and kept them open just long enough so they were watering slightly, then bit his lip.
“I really screwed myself when I taught you my secrets. Really, using my own puppy eyes on me. Really short sighted of me to teach you that.” Sam sighs as he pulls on the sweatshirt, Cas doing the same.
“Nope, still not doing it. I don’t do matching shirts.” Dean holds firm, shaking his head at Cas when he holds out the sweatshirt to him as they pull out of the garage.
“Dean, the couch in the library is awfully uncomfortable. It’d be a shame if you had to sleep there.” Cas is firmly on team Cemetery Boys, pulling out the big threats to get Jack his way.
“Ugh fine, but no one can ever find out about this!” Dean groans, waiting until he’s at a stop sign at the end of the road to pull it on. Jack lights up, his team is complete, all three dads are wearing his shirt!
“It’s funny how easily emasculated you are Dean. Life is a lot more fun when you stop caring about gender expectations.” Cas smirks, Dean rolling his eyes at Cas and mimicking his know it all expression.
“Dean is sensitive, dad, and he’s really good at making pies! I think he cares less than you think he does.” Jack pauses, pleased when Dean makes eye contact with him in the rearview mirror and smiles. “Besides, I saw the pink underwear he hides when I helped with that laundry that one time.” He adds, Dean’s smile quickly disappearing, his eyes wide as he tightly gripped the steering wheel.
“Jesus Christ, kid, stop selling out all my secrets.” Dean grits between his teeth, now he is blushing. Jack knows Dean hates blushing just as much as he does.
“Oh that’s good! Can’t wait to tell Claire that one!” Sam barks out a laugh, taking his phone out of his pocket.
“You wouldn’t!” Dean hangs his head in shame when they stop for a train.
“Already did!” Sam sing songs, holding up his phone. Jack is sometimes thankful that Claire doesn’t live with them, living with your sibling seems exhausting sometimes, if Sam and Dean are any indication.
“Alright that’s enough Jack, don’t spill all the coffee. Your dad is allowed to have his secrets.” Cas intervenes, gently patting Dean’s thigh.
“Tea, dad, its spill the tea!” Jack sometimes can’t handle how out of touch his dad is. Guess that’s what happens when you’re millions of years old.
“Oh right, what’s the difference?” Cas sighs, laying his head back against the headrest as if he’s exhausted, Jack knows it’s just for dramatic effect because Cas doesn’t sleep.
“Cas, there’s big difference! One is the nectar of the gods and the other is glorified leaf water.” Dean defends, holding Cas’ hand, it’s meant to be a private gesture, but Jack can see it and it makes his heart happy.
“Tea is good.” Sam tries.
“I rest my case.” Dean counterpoints.
The case is a rough one, it turns out to be a bit more than a simple salt and burn. The ghost, a family annihilator was coming from beyond the grave to try to kill his son who had survived his attack. They had split into two groups, Dean and Cas at the cemetery burning the bones and Jack and Sam with the victim, trying to keep him safe.
“Do you think maybe we can take a photo together in our shirts?” Jack asks offhandedly as he and Sam roam the house looking for any objects that might still tether the ghost to the house.
“Why do you care so much about these shirts and taking a photo together?” Sam asks curiously, making Jack pause to think for a moment.
“Because, I’ve been watching a bunch of shows and movies, and all the families in them, they have all these photos together. They make all these memories together and they display them in their houses for everyone to see. I want that. The fact that we don’t have that makes me kind of scared, like this isn’t real. Like you all are prepared to run at a moment’s notice if I go nuclear.” Jack explains, using air quotes around the word nuclear.
“Oh. Oh. Jack, hey, it’s not like that. I guess, well we’ve been so busy saving people and hunting things, we’ve lost track of normal family things. You’re family Jack. Promise.” Sam says right away, pulling Jack into a crushing hug. Sam is strong, Jack hopes to be that strong someday.
“Can we take a photo then, a family portrait?” Jack asks hopefully.
“Family portrait? Family portrait. Shit! Jack, the family portrait!” Sam gasps, letting Jack go and looking around the room with wild eyes.
“Huh?” Jack is trying to catch up before he spots the family portrait hanging above the fireplace, both the victim and his evil departed dad in the photo. He rushes to grab it off the wall and tosses it into the fireplace. Sam pulls out a container of salt and lighter fluid, coating the portrait, then Jack tosses a match, lighting it on fire.
“Good work kid.” Sam grins as the ghost appears and then bursts into flames. “I think you’ve earned that portrait.”
True to his word, the first thing in the morning, Sam helps Jack use the laptop to find the closest portrait studio. It happens to be a JC Penney portrait studio, making Dean groan and complain about cheesy backgrounds and awkward poses that they’d likely endure. With much coaxing and further threats from Cas to relegate Dean to sleeping with Miracle on the dog bed, he agrees to the photoshoot.
Jack gets several copies of the photos made. He hands out wallet sized copies to Mary and Eileen who both coo over how adorable they look. Cas gets it framed and hangs it in the library, Dean never admits he likes it, but Jack catches him stopping to look at it every day, a proud smile on his face.
This is Jack’s family. His team. His Cemetery Boys.
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chiseler · 3 years ago
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The Mysterious Death of a Hollywood Director
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This is the tale of a very famous Hollywood mogul and a not-so-famous movie director. In May of 1933 they embarked together on a hunting trip to Canada, but only one of them came back alive. It’s an unusual tale with an uncertain ending, and to the best of my knowledge it’s never been told before.
I. The Mogul
When we consider the factors that enabled the Hollywood studio system to work as well as it did during its peak years, circa 1920 to 1950, we begin with the moguls, those larger-than-life studio chieftains who were the true stars on their respective lots. They were tough, shrewd, vital, and hard working men. Most were Jewish, first- or second-generation immigrants from Europe or Russia; physically on the small side but nonetheless formidable and – no small thing – adaptable. Despite constant evolution in popular culture, technology, and political and economic conditions in their industry and the outside world, most of the moguls who made their way to the top during the silent era held onto their power and wielded it for decades. Their names are still familiar: Zukor, Goldwyn, Mayer, Jack Warner and his brothers, and a few more. And of course, Darryl F. Zanuck. In many ways Zanuck personified the common image of the Hollywood mogul. He was an energetic, cigar-chewing, polo mallet-swinging bantam of a man, largely self-educated, with a keen aptitude for screen storytelling and a well-honed sense of what the public wanted to see. Like Charlie Chaplin he was widely assumed to be Jewish, and also like Chaplin he was not, but in every other respect Zanuck was the very embodiment of the dynamic, supremely confident Hollywood showman.
In the mid-1920s he got a job as a screenwriter at Warner Brothers, at a time when that studio was still something of a podunk operation. The young man succeeded on a grand scale, and was head of production before he was 30 years old. Ironically, the classic Warners house style, i.e. clipped, topical, and earthy, often dark and sometimes grimly funny, as in such iconic films as The Public Enemy, I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, and 42nd Street, was established not by Jack, Harry, Sam, or Albert Warner, but by Darryl Zanuck, who was the driving force behind those hits and many others from the crucial early talkie period. He played a key role in launching the gangster cycle and a new wave of sassy show biz musicals. At some point during 1932-33, however, Zanuck realized he would never rise above his status as Jack Warner’s right-hand man and run the studio, no matter how successful his projects proved to be, because of two insurmountable obstacles: 1) his name was not Warner, and 2) he was a Gentile. Therefore, in order to achieve complete autonomy, Zanuck concluded that he would have to start his own company.
In mid-April of 1933 he picked a public fight with Jack Warner over a staff salary issue, then abruptly resigned. Next, he turned his attention to setting up a company in partnership with veteran producer Joseph Schenck, who was able to raise sufficient funds to launch the new concern. And then, Zanuck invited several associates from Warner Brothers to accompany him on an extended hunting trip in Canada.
Going into the wilderness and killing wild game, a pastime many Americans still regard as a routine, unremarkable form of recreation, is also of course a conspicuous show of machismo. But in this realm, as with his legendary libido, Zanuck was in a class by himself. He had been an enthusiastic hunter most of his life, dating back to his boyhood in Nebraska. Once he became a big wheel at Warners in the late ’20s he took to organizing high-style duck-hunting expeditions: the young executive and his fellow sportsmen would travel to the appointed location in private railroad cars, staffed by uniformed servants. Heavy drinking on these occasions was not uncommon. (Inevitably, film buffs will recall The Ale & Quail Club from Preston Sturges’ classic comedy The Palm Beach Story, but DFZ and his pals were not cute old character actors, and their bullets were quite real.) Members of Zanuck’s studio entourage were given to understand that participation in these outings was de rigueur if they valued their positions, and expected desirable assignments in the future. Director Michael Curtiz, who had no fondness for hunting, remembered the trips with distaste, and recalled that on one occasion he was nearly shot by a casting director who had no idea how to properly handle a gun.
But ducks were just the beginning. In 1927 Zanuck took his wife Virginia on an African safari. In Kenya Darryl bagged a rhinoceros and posed for a photo with his wife, crouched beside the rhino’s carcass. Virginia, an erstwhile Mack Sennett bathing beauty and former leading lady to Buster Keaton, appears shaken. Her husband looks exhilarated. During this safari Zanuck also killed an elephant. He kept the animal’s four feet in his office on the Warners lot, and used them as ashtrays. If any animal lover dared to express dismay, the Hollywood sportsman would retort: “It was him or me, wasn’t it?” Zanuck made several forays to Canada with his coterie in this period, gunning for grizzly bears. Director William “Wild Bill” Wellman, who was more of an outdoorsman than Curtiz, once went along, but soon became irritated with Zanuck’s bullying. The two men got into a drunken fistfight the night before the hunting had even begun. In the course of the ensuing trip the hunting party was snowbound for three days; Zanuck sprained his ankle while trailing a grizzly; the horse carrying medical supplies vanished; and Wellman got food poisoning. “It was the damnedest trip I’ve ever seen,” the director said later, “but Zanuck loved it.”
Now that Zanuck had severed his ties with the Warner clan and was on the verge of a new professional adventure, a trip to Canada with a few trusted associates would be just the ticket. This time the destination would be a hunting ground on the banks of the Canoe River, a tributary of the Columbia River, 102 miles north of Revelstoke, British Columbia, a city about 400 miles east of Vancouver. There, in a remote scenic area far from any paved roads, telephones, or other niceties of modern life, the men could discuss Zanuck’s new production company and, presumably, their own potential roles in it. Present on the expedition were screenwriter Sam Engel, director Ray Enright, 42nd Street director Lloyd Bacon, producer (and former silent film comedian) Raymond Griffith, and director John G. Adolfi, best known at the time for his work with English actor George Arliss. Adolfi, who was around 50 years old and seemingly in good health, would not return.
II. The Director
Even dedicated film buffs may draw a blank when the name John Adolfi is mentioned. Although he directed more than eighty films over a twenty-year period beginning in 1913, most of those films are now lost. He worked in every genre, with top stars, and made a successful transition from silent cinema to talkies. He seems to have been a well-respected but self-effacing man, seldom profiled in the press. 
According to his tombstone Adolfi was born in New York City in 1881, but the exact date of his birth is one of several mysteries about his life. His father, Gustav Adolfi, was a popular stage comedian and singer who emigrated to the U.S. from Germany in 1879. Gustav performed primarily in New York and Philadelphia, and was known for such roles as Frosch the Jailer in Strauss’ Die Fledermaus. But he was a troubled man, said to be a compulsive gambler, and after his wife Jennie died (possibly of scarlet fever) it appears his life fell apart. Gustav’s singing voice gave out, and then he died suddenly in Philadelphia in October 1890, leaving John and his siblings orphaned. (An obituary in the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent reported that Gustav suffered a stroke, but family legend suggests he may have committed suicide.) After a difficult period John followed in his father’s footsteps and launched a stage career, and was soon working opposite such luminaries of the day as Ethel Barrymore and Dustin Farnum. Early in the new century the young actor wed Pennsylvania native Florence Crawford; the marriage would last until his death.
When the cinema was still in its infancy stage performers tended to regard movie work as slumming, but for whatever reason John Adolfi took the plunge. He made his debut before the cameras around 1907, probably at the Vitagraph Studio in Brooklyn. There he appeared as Tybalt in J. Stuart Blackton’s 1908 Romeo and Juliet , with Paul Panzer and Florence Lawrence in the title roles. He worked at the Edison Studio for director Edwin S. Porter, and at Biograph in a 1908 short called The Kentuckian which also featured two other stage veterans, D.W. Griffith and Mack Sennett. Most of Adolfi’s work as a screen actor was for the Éclair Studio in Fort Lee, New Jersey, the first film capital. The bulk of this company’s output was destroyed in a vault fire, but a 1912 adaptation of Robin Hood in which Adolfi appeared survives. That same year he also appeared in a famous docu-drama, as we would call it, Saved from the Titanic. This ten-minute short premiered less than a month after the Titanic disaster, and featured actress Dorothy Gibson, who actually survived the voyage, re-enacting her experience while wearing the same clothes she wore in the lifeboat. (This film, unfortunately, is among the missing.) After appearing in dozens of movies Adolfi moved behind the camera.
Much of his early work as a director was for a Los Angeles-based studio called Majestic, where he made crime dramas, Westerns, and comedies, films with titles like Texas Bill’s Last Ride and The Stolen Radium. In 1914 the company had a new supervisor: D. W. Griffith, now the top director in the business, who had just departed Biograph. Adolfi was one of the few Majestic staff directors who kept his job under the new regime. A profile in the February 1915 issue of Photoplay describes him as “a tallish, good-looking man, well-knit and vigorous, dark-haired and determined; his mouth and chin suggest that their owner expects (and intends) to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better.” It was also reported that Adolfi had developed something of a following as an actor, but that he dropped out of the public eye when he became a director. Presumably, that’s what he wanted.
Adolfi left Majestic after three years, worked at Fox Films for a time as a staff director, then freelanced. During the remainder of the silent era he guided some of the screen’s legendary leading ladies: Annette Kellerman (Queen of the Sea, 1918), Marion Davies (The Burden of Proof, 1918), Mae Marsh (The Little ‘Fraid Lady, 1920), Betty Blythe (The Darling of the Rich, 1922), and Clara Bow (The Scarlet West, 1925). Not one of these films survives. A profile published in the New York World-Telegram during his stint at Fox reported that Adolfi was well-liked by his employees. He was “reticent when the conversation turned toward himself, but frank and outspoken when it concerned his work. Mr. Adolfi is not only a director who is skilled in the technique of his craft; he is also a deep student of human nature.” Asked how he felt about the cinema’s potential, he replied, with unconscious irony, “it is bound to live forever.”
III. The Talkies
In spring of 1927 Adolfi was offered a job at Warner Brothers. His debut feature for the studio What Happened to Father? (now lost) was a success, or enough of one anyway to secure him a professional foothold, and he worked primarily at WB thereafter. Thus he was fortuitously well-positioned for the talkie revolution, for although talking pictures were not invented at the studio it was Sam Warner and his brothers, more than anyone else, who sold an initially skeptical public on the new medium. After Adolfi had proven himself with three talkie features Darryl Zanuck handed him an expensive, prestige assignment, a lavish all-star revue entitled The Show of Shows which featured every Warners star from John Barrymore to Rin-Tin-Tin.
Other important assignments followed. In March of 1930 a crime melodrama called Penny Arcade opened on Broadway. It was not a success, but when Al Jolson saw it he sensed that the story had screen potential. He purchased the film rights at a bargain rate and then re-sold the property to his home studio, Warner Brothers. Adolfi was chosen to direct, but was doubtless surprised to learn that Jolson had insisted that two of the actors from the Broadway production repeat their performances before the cameras. One of the pair, Joan Blondell, had already appeared in three Vitaphone shorts to good effect, but the other, James Cagney, had never acted in a movie. Any doubts about Jolson’s instincts were quickly dispelled. Rushes of the first scenes featuring the newcomers so impressed studio brass that both were signed to five-year contracts. While Adolfi can’t be credited with discovering the duo, the film itself, re-christened Sinners’ Holiday,remains his strongest surviving claim to fame: he guided Jimmy Cagney’s screen debut.
At this point the director formed a professional relationship that would shape the rest of his career. George Arliss was a veteran stage actor who went into the movies and unexpectedly became a top box office draw. He was, frankly, an unlikely candidate for screen stardom. Already past sixty when talkies arrived, Arliss was a short, dignified man who resembled a benevolent gargoyle. But he was also a journeyman actor, a seasoned professional who knew how to command attention with a sudden sharp word or a raised eyebrow. Like Helen Hayes he was valued in Hollywood as a performer of unblemished reputation who lent the raffish film industry a touch of Class, in every sense of the word.
In 1929 Arliss appeared in a talkie version of Disraeli, a role he had played many times on stage, and became the first Englishman to take home an Academy Award for Best Actor. Thereafter he was known for stately portrayals of History’s Great Men, such as Voltaire and Alexander Hamilton, as well as fictional kings, cardinals, and other official personages. The old gentleman formed a close alliance with Darryl Zanuck, whom he admired, and was in turn granted privileges highly unusual for any actor at the time. Arliss had final approval of his scripts and authority over casting. He was also granted the right to rehearse his selected actors for two weeks before filming began. All that was left for the film’s director to do, it would seem, would be to faithfully record what his star wanted. Not many directors would accept this arrangement, but John Adolfi, who according to Photoplay “was determined to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better,” clearly had no problem with it. His first film with Arliss was The Millionaire, released in May 1931; and in the two years that followed Adolfi directed eight more features, six of which were Arliss vehicles. He had found his niche in Hollywood.
One of Adolfi’s last jobs sans Arliss was a B-picture called Central Park, which reunited the director with Joan Blondell. It’s a snappy, topical, crazy quilt of a movie that packs a lot of incident into a 58-minute running time. Central Park was something of a sleeper that earned its director positive critical notices, and must have afforded him a lively holiday from those polite period pieces for the exacting Mr. Arliss.
In spring of 1933, after completing work on the Arliss vehicle Voltaire, Adolfi accompanied Darryl Zanuck and his entourage to British Columbia to hunt bears. Arliss intended to follow Zanuck to his new company, while Adolfi in turn surely expected to follow the star and continue their collaboration. Things didn’t work out that way.
IV. The Hunting Trip
It’s unclear how long the men were hunting before tragedy struck. On Sunday, May 14th, newspapers reported that film director John G. Adolfi had died the previous week – either on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on which paper one consults – at a hunting camp near the Canoe River. All accounts give the cause of death as a cerebral hemorrhage. According to the New York Herald-Tribune the news was conveyed in a long-distance phone call from Darryl Zanuck to screenwriter Lucien Hubbard in Los Angeles. Hubbard subsequently informed the press. The N.Y. Times reported that the entire hunting party (Zanuck, Engel, Enright, Bacon, and Griffith) accompanied Adolfi’s remains in a motorboat down the Columbia River to Revelstoke. From there the body was sent to Vancouver, B.C., where it was cremated. Write-ups of Adolfi’s career were brief, and tended to emphasize his work with George Arliss, though his recent success Central Park was widely noted. John’s widow Florence was mentioned in the Philadelphia City News obituary but otherwise seems to have been ignored; the couple had no children. 
V. The Aftermath
Darryl F. Zanuck went on to found Twentieth Century Pictures, a name suggested by his hunting companion Sam Engel. One of the company’s biggest hits in its first year of operation was The House of Rothschild, starring George Arliss and directed by Alfred Werker. The venerable actor returned to England not long afterwards and retired from filmmaking in 1937. In his second book of memoirs, published three years later, Arliss devotes several pages of warm praise to Zanuck, but refers only fleetingly to the man who directed seven of his films, John Adolfi, and misspells his name.
In 1935 Zanuck merged his Twentieth Century Pictures with Fox Films, and created one of the most successful companies in Hollywood history. He would go on to produce many award-winning classics, including The Grapes of Wrath, Laura, and All About Eve. Zanuck’s trusted associates at Twentieth-Century Fox in the company’s best years included Sam Engel, Raymond Griffith, and Lloyd Bacon, all survivors of the Revelstoke trip. Personal difficulties and vast changes in the film industry began to affect Zanuck’s career in the 1950s. He left the U.S. for Europe but continued to make films, and sporadically managed to exercise control over the company he founded. He died in 1979.
In 1984 a onetime screenwriter and film critic named Leonard Mosley, who had known Zanuck slightly, published a biography entitled Zanuck: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood’s Last Tycoon. Aside from his movie reviews most of Mosley’s published work concerned military matters, specifically pertaining to the Second War World. His Zanuck bio reveals a grasp of film history that is shaky at times, for the book has a number of obvious errors. Nevertheless, it was written with the cooperation of Darryl’s son Richard, his widow Virginia, and many of the mogul’s close associates, so whatever its errors in chronology or studio data the anecdotes concerning Zanuck’s personal and professional activities are unquestionably well-sourced. 
When Mosley’s narrative reaches May 1933, the point when Zanuck is on the verge of founding his new company, we’re told that he and several associates decided to go on a hunting trip to Alaska. The location is not correct, but chronologically – and in one other, unmistakable respect – there can be no doubt that this refers to the Revelstoke trip. From Mosley’s book:
“There is a mystery about this trip, and no perusal of Zanuck’s papers or those of his former associates seems to elucidate it,” he writes. “Something happened that changed his whole attitude towards hunting. All that can be gathered from the thin stories that are still gossiped around was that the hunting party went on the track of a polar bear somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness [sic], and when the vital moment came it was Zanuck who stepped out to shoot down the charging, furious animal. His bullet, it is said, found its mark all right, but it did not kill. The polar bear came on, and Zanuck stood his ground, pumping away with his rifle. Only this time it was not ‘him or me,’ but ‘him’ and someone else. The wounded and enraged bear, still alive and still charging, swerved around Zanuck and swiped with his great paw at one of the men standing behind him – and only after it had killed this other man did it fall at last into the snow, and die itself. That’s the story, and no one seems to be able to confirm it nor remember the name of the man who died. The only certain thing is that when Zanuck came back, he announced to Virginia that he had given up hunting. And he never went out and shot a wild animal again, not even a jackrabbit for his supper.”
VI. The Coda
Was John Adolfi killed by a bear? It certainly seems possible, but if so, why didn’t the men in the hunting party simply report the truth? Even if their boss was indirectly responsible, having fired the shots that caused the bear to charge, he couldn’t be blamed for the actions of a dying animal. But it’s also possible the event unfolded like a recent tragedy on the Montana-Idaho border. There, in September 2011, two men named Ty Bell and Steve Stevenson were on a hunting trip. Bell shot what he believed was a black bear. When the bear, a grizzly, attacked Stevenson, Bell fired again – and killed both the bear and his friend.
That seems to be the more likely scenario. If Zanuck fired at the wounded bear, in an attempt to save Adolfi, and killed both bear and man instead, it would perhaps explain a hastily contrived false story. It would most definitely explain the prompt cremation of Adolfi’s body in Vancouver. Back in Hollywood Joe Schenck was busy raising money, and lots of it, to launch Zanuck’s new company. Any unpleasant information about the new company’s chief – certainly anything suggestive of manslaughter – could jeopardize the deal. A man hit with a cerebral hemorrhage in the prime of life is a tragedy of natural causes, but a man sprayed with bullets in a shooting, accidental or not, is something else again. That goes double if alcohol was involved, as it reportedly was on Zanuck’s earlier hunting trips.
Of course, it’s also possible that Adolfi did indeed suffer a cerebral hemorrhage. Like his father.
John G. Adolfi is a Hollywood ghost. Most of his works are lost, and his name is forgotten. (Even George Arliss couldn’t be bothered to spell it correctly.) Every now and then TCM will program one of the Arliss vehicles, or Sinners’ Holiday. Not long ago they showed Adolfi’s fascinating B-picture Central Park, that slam-bang souvenir of the early Depression years in which several plot strands are deftly inter-twined. One of the subplots involves a mentally ill man, a former zoo-keeper who escapes from an asylum and returns to the place where he used to work, the Central Park Zoo. He has a score to settle with an old nemesis, an ex-colleague who tends the big cats. As the story approaches its climax, the escaped lunatic deliberately drags his enemy into the cage of a dangerous lion and leaves him there. In the subsequent, harrowing scene, difficult to watch, the lion attacks and practically kills the poor bastard.
by William Charles Morrow
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My sources for this article, in addition to the Mosley biography cited in the text, include Stephen M. Silverman’s The Fox That Got Away: The Last Days of the Zanuck Dynasty at Twentieth-Century Fox (1988), and Marlys J. Harris’s The Zanucks of Hollywood: The Dark Legacy of an American Dynasty (1989). For material on John Adolfi I made extensive use of the files of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Special thanks to James Bigwood for his prodigious research on the Adolfi family genealogy, and to Mary Maler, John Adolfi’s great-niece, for information she provided on her family.
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starshipsofstarlord · 4 years ago
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Clarity
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There were so many things that you wanted to change. Most of those being things, crimes, that you committed.
Before the Avengers, you had taken lives, ended them in less than a blink of your eye.
The faces haunted you, reminding you that one day you would be punished for your irreversible mistakes.
Bucky had done bad too. It wasn't just you. And so had Natasha, before her tragic fall for the soul stone.
They had been a part of your past, and now it was all dying. But it was still marked into your skin, engrained into your brain. Guilt rolled from you in waves.
Fury stood beside you as you looked down with sorrow at Natalia's grave. It was him, the real him. Not some skull that had disguised himself in the dark man's meatsuit.
"I can't do this job anymore." You told him. It was a simple sentence, yet it held so many complications. "Everyone I started with are gone. Tony died saving the world, Steve gave himself the life he always wanted. Nat died so that we could get this far, Thor left with the Guardians. Clint is retiring, again, for how long I don't know, but I'm sure he'll get a replacement. And Banner, I don't even know. I need to figure out what I'm going to do Nick."
Fury looked at you with understanding. He was aware of all you had done, including the moment when he met you. Yet he still gave you the folder containing the information on the tesseract.
"You're scared. You can't keep running from your past though."
"I'm not." If he weren't a trained agent once in his life, he'd have believed you.
Fury would always be right, no matter the circumstances. He was a wise man, one of the few you trusted.
"At least get yourself some clarity before you go with the wind. Barnes is still here, and if you really wish to disappear let him go once and for all."
"That's not necessary." You told him. "He doesn't remember me in the red room, or the terrible things that we did together."
"One day he will." Fury told you. "And its your choice if you are going to give him a proper send off."
It was a difficult choice. "I wish Nat was here. She would know what I should do."
Your hand grazed the top of the tombstone. There was no body underneath, but the grave gave you clarity.
....
The duffel was slung on your shoulder, not too heavily. It held only the things you deemed as a necessity for an ordinary person.
You'd have been fine starting with nothing, but you deserved to give yourself an easy beginning. It was best to travel light though, and so you did.
This would be a new you in a year's time. No killing. No stealing. Just peace.
"Where are you going?" Sam asked as he entered the room.
Over the course of the years he had become your friend. The two of you stood by Steve's side, and now the turn in events had ended with him with the shield.
"Away." There was no specific location in mind, but you wanted to get out of New York. It was your first fight as an avenger, with your original teammates, fighting Loki and his army from space.
"And you weren't even going to say goodbye?" It hurt, the fact that you were willing to disappear without a word. The two of you had been through so much together, and it felt like it had all been disregarded.
"It would have been easier." You told him guiltily.
It felt wrong, treating him like this in the place that had been his home before he had joined the team. You him and Bucky were residing here, until the Avengers, or who of them were left, came together again, probably having a new compound. "But you're here now, so I can and will."
"Why?" You knew what man was asking. It wasn't something that was easy to answer but you would lie to Sam.
"I want a life Sam, I never had one before. Since I was a child I was trained to speak various languages and kill targets. I want to be a civilian, not some bad guy turned hero."
"Okay." He nodded his head in understanding. "Is there anything you need?"
You took the book, what had once been a journal, from behind your back handing it to him. "Give it to Barnes."
"Can I at least get a hug before you ride off into the sunset of some hot country and forget my name?" It'd be cruel to decline, and so you gave him one last embrace, knowing the chance of seeing each other again would be slim.
....
Bucky looked at the book, not understanding why you had gifted it to him. The two of you didn't know each other well, only speaking here and there or fighting on the same side.
"She told me to give it to you, that's it." Sam informed him, walking away from the man's room with mutual confusion.
As he opened the book on a random page, a date lined the top of it.
28th June, 1987
The Winter Soldier. A man with a metal arm. Formerly known as James Barnes. There is no humanity in his eyes when we kill together, there is only a stone cold stare, one that sends shivers up my spine.
From what I have researched, he was a Howling Commander in a war, a comrade and dear friend to the disappeared Captain America. It seems strange how a man loyal to a hero could put his devotion, through forced tactics, into an organisation like HYDRA.
We are just animals to them, they put us on ice when they please, so that they can pull us out to complete an assignment. I know that there is a real man, one that likes to dance and smoke cigars beneath the soldier's cold exterior.
I have seen him smile, even if it could be interpreted as a grimace, as he walks into the red room to train with me. There is a colour of something other than blue in his eyes, pain I'm guessing. He keeps the men away from me, and saved me, threatening to kill every single one of them within the corporation if they went through with sterilising me.
And so HYDRA, being the real monsters, not me and stoic Barnes, used his protectiveness to their advantage. I never got sterilised, I got impregnated.
They never informed the soldier, seeing as the child was lost on a mission. But I feel guilt every time we are allowed to spend the night together. We do the same act that is how people usually populate. I see a man underneath the HYDRA infused rubble marked on his soul. There is no mission, there is only relaxation and pleasure infused in his mind. That is how I like to see him, not as a soldier but a human being that doesn't need to carry a gun or murder victims under orders.
Bucky Barnes is still in there, in the shell of a scarred soldier. One day, I pray he becomes the soldier that fought for his country, not the one that looms in the shadows, with me by his side, spilling blood and ending lifelines.
Bucky sat back, shocked by the information he had ingested. You hadn't fought on their side of the civil war because you were Steve's friend, you did it for him.
He couldn't help himself, he opened another page, a more recent one.
1st February 2009
It's difficult, knowing that I escaped the clutches of the enemy and turned my life around. SHIELD have taken me and my old friend under their wing. We're to be agents although I think she'll suit this life better than me.
She didn't lose a man with the ocean in his eyes to the red room. I was plucked from that room and paired with the soldier. Bucky.
I'm still searching for him, as I have been for years. He's a prisoner, trained and pushed to do their bidding.
I wonder if any of the other Winter Soldiers are like him. If they're victims of war, saved from death but caught up in the outrageous chaos. Even if they are, they're not my priority.
James is the reason I have joined SHIELD. So that I have more resources to find him, so that I can scan the world for any of his bloody fingerprints.
I've seen him at his best and worst. I've seen the Bucky Barnes that has become of the torment and torture. My duty is to save him. To protect him. To love him.
One more insight couldn't hurt. Although it was hurting, he couldn't recall a single thing in his mind that matched with your eventful words. It was like a story, fiction. But it was all real.
There was no date. It seemed hurried, like you were preoccupied with something at the same time. It was the last page.
He's okay, and will be. He has Sam, I trust him. My trust is hard to come by, but that man has earnt it, not from just me , but Steve also.
Perhaps I shouldn't have kept this from you Bucky, I know you don't remember. If you did, you would have said something, even if it wasn't to me.
Our story needs an end. And so this is it.
Overcome what the Winter Soldier did, that was not you, even if I saw glimpses upon the framework. I'll see you in the next life soldier.
He wished he could remember, but parts were still returning and it seemed there was plenty more to come.
If you hadn't have left, you could have spoken, helped him remember the good and bad that ran through the relationship you had once had.
It may have seemed strange, but he wanted to thank you. For having faith in him, for wanting to save him. For believing he wasn't just some killer.
But you were gone, and had delivered your clarity. The rest was history, all he had was filled pages littered with your handwriting.
Somehow you had kept it hidden from HYDRA, and he couldn't be more in debt. You were smart, and he hadn't doubted that once, but you had more to offer than you had initially let on.
....
"West stairwell." Sam barked at him though his earpiece, sending Bucky bolting to the spoken direction.
They were chasing Zemo, he had appeared again. The walls were white, and it reminded him of some kind of maze.
"Stop." He shouted, but Zemo didn't listen. He tried to run, but seemingly didn't get very far.
A body came from the other end, throwing the criminal to the ground with their legs. "Not so fast." You smirked down at Zemo.
Fear crept into the hollowness of his eyes. He knew who you were, who you had all been. He had tried and succeeded in breaking your family up, and so he had known about all of the members.
"Get back." Bucky had his gun raised, Sam coming up behind him, panting from the long run.
You whipped the hair from before your face, your foot remaining on Zemo's chest. "Nice haircut Barnes." It was good to see a familiar face again.
"Holy shit." Sam muttered at seeing your face.
.....
"We don't have time to follow him and see where he leads us. He knew where you were and therefore whoever he's working for does too." You told them, squinting at the man tied to the chair. "There'll be a tracking device in him somewhere, so we should just kill him."
I don't enjoy killing. There's always blood on my hands, but it's the expense of following orders. Bucky remembered reading that, so who's orders were you following?
"We don't kill." Sam reminded you, making you shake your head in disapproval.
"You're not Steve, Sam." You reminded him, making Bucky wince at the mention of his old friend who had recently passed from old age. "If you don't kill him, then his mates will come here and do it to you."
"We need to know who he's working for." Sam told you, abd Bucky spoke afterwards, almost instantly.
"Who are you working for?" The soldier pried, noticing your demeanor shift to a defensive one in prime time.
"No one." It was protocol to lie, but Bucky could tell that that was what it was. A lie. He remembered parts now, and knew that you tended to stand proudly, acting as though you were telling the truth.
"You and I both know that clarifies nothing." He tried to smile at you, but it only came out as a grimace. A real grimace. He knew you were hiding something.
You ignored him, turning to Zemo instead. "One name. I need clarification on one name and that's all."
"I'm not going to help you, avenger." It was a cruel jab. You weren't a part of that team any longer. Yet you still had that association.
Sam was looking at his phone. "Sharon got something." He announced. "Procto. That's the name of his superior."
"Shit. R.P." You sighed. "You fucking knew since Civil War, didn't you?" Your body got the best of you and you couldn't help your leg from launching from its post and dislocating his knee with a venomous kick.
"Possibly." He spoke. His eyes danced between you and Bucky and the soldier pulled you back so that you couldn't harm the hostage further.
"What's R. P?" James asked, for both him and Sam.
"Its initials. For Rebecca Procto." Your head lowered. You didn't want to fight this villain. If you did, you would once more be the monster HYDRA had made you.
"Who is she?" Bucky asked softly but you remained silent. "Who is she?" He repeated louder. No response came from you.
"She goes by another name." Zemo cut in, looking down at his injured leg.
"And that is?" Sam lead on.
"Rebecca Barnes."
Bucky looked at you, you couldn't tell what the expression on his face held. It was a jumble of emotions, most of which were directed at you.
"You said she was dead." He murmured. "In the book, you wrote she died."
"I thought she did." You responded quietly. "And now she's targeting us. She wants revenge. She probably thinks we left her to rot."
Sam was the only one unaware of the situation. "What's going on?"
"She's out daughter." Bucky told him quickly, filling in the gaps that he ahd missed. It was nice to see he had complete trust in the man.
"Wait - you two.." His finger drew a line between you and Bucky.
"Yes." He hissed.
"Well shit, I was not expecting that."
A/N: Please say if you want another part.
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deletingpoint · 5 years ago
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destiel fic recs part 3
Part 1
Part 2
I’ve added heart to the ones i really-really love for perhaps personal reasons, but otherwise these are all beautiful fics and you won’t regret reading them! (same goes for my previous lists obvi :))
<10 k
The Secret Santa of Cubicle Land by followyourenergy  Castiel Novak has never loved the workplace Secret Santa tradition, but he loves watching his coworker (and his very straight, secret crush) Dean Winchester’s enthusiastic responses to his daily gifts. Dean is so enthusiastic that he declares he’s going to ask his Secret Santa on a date.
Dry in the Downpour by almaasi  Dean was in half a mind – nay, three-quarters of a mind – just to turn back, go home, make coffee, call in sick and watch wrestling and porn all day, when the rain stopped abruptly.
He glanced around in surprise, then looked up.
An umbrella. Someone had put an umbrella over him.
Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison 
<3 “His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”
He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire  Cas settles back and rolls his head on the seat. Tugs on the corner of Dean’s jacket.
Sits there. Pathetic-looking and unnecessarily bleeding.
(a.k.a.: Dean is a super Soft Boy.)
The Age-long Rivalry Between Pilots and Engineers by Winglesss <3 Living on a space station isn´t easy. Especially when you share your quarters with someone like Castiel Novak. 
Irresistible by raths_kitten
<3 Castiel is a lonely wizard longing for a familiar to bond with. Dean just really wants a taste of this pie that’s luring him in somehow. 
so this is the miracle by deanniker He doesn't believe in magic, or fairytales, or happy endings. If someone were to ask his opinion, he'd say that the ball is nothing more than a clever stunt, something meant to drum up popular support for the new king, that would inevitably come to naught when he married some foreign princess.
No one asks him his opinion, of course.
10-50 k
A Brief Glimpse by cloudyjenn  Castiel is utterly convinced he can't love anyone, but Sam, so when a strange occurrence at a carnival shows him otherwise, he doesn't know what to do. 
Unholy Ground by teacass (Fushigi)  “And I’m not a vandal,” the man shoots back. “My name’s Dean. And I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”
“No,” Castiel hisses. “I have watched you. I have seen you creep around with your shovel and your gun and I have seen you trying to desecrate the graves, my graves, so do not talk to me about a misunderstanding—” Dean holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Shit, man, I swear I’m not trying to—” Castiel has had enough, though, so he flicks his wrist and pushes Dean over one of the tombstones and down to the ground. Dean falls with a grunt and tries to stand up quickly, but Castiel keeps him pinned to the ground with a raise of his eyebrow. “I am the guardian of this cemetery,” he states when he stops and looks down on the struggling man. “I will not be made a fool of, especially not by someone like you.” 
Chili Peppers by justanothersong for literaryoblivion  Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this. 
The Choice by RedheadedSuperhero  To solidify the alliance between the Houses of Veenah and Winchester, Castiel agrees to marry one of Lord John’s sons. It’s not like he has any say in that matter anyway – as a marriage of convenience is the fate of almost any royal omega. He is even grateful that the king of Winchester had offered him to make his own choice between his three children. From all he had heard, Castiel already likes the scholar Samuel from afar; he certainly prefers him to the infamous Demon Knight or Adam, who is hardly more than a pup. So, he believes his decision is already made as he travels towards his new home.
But unfortunately, things go horribly wrong, and Castiel finds himself alone in an unclaimed forest, with only a strange hunter to help him find his way the castle of Winchester. And by the time he arrives, he might have already changed his mind.
Don't Be So Charming by PieDarling  - Very loosely based on the movie “Prince Charming” -
Prince Dean was always meant to be fortunate, all the fairies and witches in the kingdom of his father would shower him with gifts. However, one of them had a deep darkness in her heart and out of selfishness cursed him instead, condemning him to have everyone fall under his charm and never know true love. His only hope is to break the curse before his 21st birthday.
At first, Dean is lost. How can he fall in love when everyone he meets falls under his charm? He finds hope in a magic coin his mother left him and in search of that hope he sets out on a journey with his childhood friend, Castiel, as his companion. Castiel is the only person Dean has ever met to not be affected by his curse, he trusts him more than anyone else.
Manifest Destiny by KreweOfImp  The year is 1899. The Wild West is in its dying days—but don’t tell that to the outlaws of Eastern Kansas. The gangs are Winchester and Novak, and the feud is bitter and blood-soaked.
The families were friendly once upon on a time, but that time is long gone, and when Michael Novak, the second-in-command to the Novaks, sees the opportunity to have Dean, golden boy and heir apparent to the Winchester gang at his mercy, he takes it. They have history, Michael and Dean, and he’s been waiting on this opportunity for a long time.
What Michael didn’t bank on was that his cousin Castiel, the Novak gang’s resident scapegoat and outcast, would have some sympathy for the prisoner—let alone start to like him.
Eyes Like Knives by jennyfly for palominopup  When rockstar Dean Winchester comes home to Austin to play a stop on his sold-out tour, he's surprised after the encore by a hot cop barging backstage to deliver some awful news. Not only is Detective Castiel Novak the bearer of bad news, but he also wants to question Dean's estranged brother, Sam. Can a frantic police investigation over the course of a single weekend result in a lasting romance? Hey, this is fanfiction; why not? 
Knocking on Heaven's Door by sir_kingsley  Dean Winchester left Castiel Novak in pieces when he broke off their engagement 21 days before they were supposed to get married. Now, a year later, Castiel has put himself back together and is moving on with his life and he seems to be doing okay. Until Dean comes knocking on his door at ass-o'clock in the morning. Now Cas must come to terms with the mess of a man who broke his heart but somehow still... has it. 
Shadow and Storm by zaphodsgirl  One night, a mysterious visitor appears in young Prince Dean's bedroom, and he suddenly finds himself transported to an abandoned replica of his home in an unknown land. He learns quickly that the borders are finite, and none may leave without incurring the wrath of the guardian: a dragon the people call Storm.
Left with no choice, Dean adapts to life as the others have, tending to the animals and working the land to survive. As he grows up, the life he knew as a prince seems more and more distant, until a new person arrives that he remembers from his childhood. Shaken by this arrival, Dean’s desire to escape returns anew, and he discovers more than he wanted to know about the Shadowlands and its occupants -- especially about the mysterious guardian of the castle, Castiel.
Such Familiar Magic by saltnhalo  When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.
He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.
The Greatest International Love Story the World Has Ever Seen by MalMuses  Dean wasn’t the type of person who did this kind of thing. He just wasn’t. GISH?? Ugh. The whole thing was just further proof that Dean would do anything his brother wanted him to do. Why else would he be in a Stormtrooper costume, calling up his ex-girlfriend for a private yoga class? Had he been stuck in a rut that long? Given that he’d been pining for the same freakin’ guy, his professor and coworker no less, for three long years… maybe.
Cas was definitely the type of person who did this kind of thing, not that many people knew that. He was one of the most well-respected professors at KSU. His students and coworkers didn’t need to know that he was captain of a GISH team, or that he knitted kinky accessories and made art with his online friends. His TA certainly didn’t need to know either. Just professionalism, of course. Nothing at all to do with the failed attempt at a relationship, three years of pining, and frequent inappropriate daydreams.
A two-person love triangle with online friendships, costumes, and a lot of glitter.
Scintilla by WinchestersRaven  Dean Winchester: ghost hunter extraordinaire! Call now for all your paranormal needs!
He cringes at the flyer. It's tacky and cliche, but Sam insisted it would bring in more customers. And dammit, if he wasn't right--this new case sounds like a doozy.
Dean’s a medium with a unique gift of being an empath. Seeing and speaking with the dead is as normal to him as speaking with his brother, Sam. A new job leads him to Georgia, Castiel Novak, and a historical home that’s tucked away on a mountain. As he investigates, he not only uncovers the secrets of his client’s family but also one of his own that he may not recover from. One that has the potential to destroy the budding relationship that is quickly forming between him and Castiel. Will they make it through to see the light on the other side? Or will the darkness that surrounds the home claim them as its next victims?
If At First You Don't Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) byjustkeeponwriting “Three days, Cas,” Dean groaned. “You’re not going to call her tomorrow and scare her off, like you always do! Or worse, tonight! That has ‘creeper’ written all over it.”Or, the one where Dean pretends to be a woman who likes to text Cas in order to teach him a lesson, and finds that he’s way in over his head. (Inspired by How I Met Your Mother's episode 4x21, "The Three Days Rule".)
Pineapple on Pizza by HigherMagic In a world where everyone is colorblind until meeting their soulmate, Castiel suddenly sees color during one of his concerts.
Lois Lane Never Had it So Hard by FunnyWings <3 It started with the most humiliating picture of Dean Winchester's life and just snowballed from there.When a sinister new big bad moves into Lawrence Kansas, will the local heroes (and maybe a few villains) be able to band together and save their home?
Get a Whiff of This by bendingsignpost <3 When no good deed goes unpunished, Dean ends up sentenced to community service for physically defending another Omega at his job. That is, at his former job. It's all a steaming pile of shit, and that's exactly what he has to clean up at the joint animal shelter and clinic he's been assigned to.With a face full of allergies and a horrific mood, all Dean has to do is get through six weeks of this sinus-assaulting torture. That's not so easy with a smartass Alpha receptionist, but at least the weird Beta vet might just end up being kinda cool.
Dean Winchester is Not Afraid of Ghosts by Desirae When photographer Dean Winchester is not capturing momentous occasions like weddings and graduations with his Nikon, he is moonlighting as the cameraman for the South Shore Paranormal; a ghost hunting series on YouTube, headed by his brother Sam, and Sam's best friend Gabriel.Despite his brother's adamance, Dean Winchester does not believe in ghosts. And no one is going to change his mind. Certainly not a scam artist like Castiel Novak. Castiel is a self-proclaimed medium... and Gabriel's brother. When a member of the SSP team has to leave the crew, Castiel is the replacement, much to Dean's dismay. But the more they work together, the more Dean is drawn to Castiel, the man stirring up protective instincts usually only reserved for family.What happens when Dean realizes that Castiel is not the fake he always thought he was, but instead, a generous soul that Dean is rapidly falling in love with?
Looking For Group by athaclena  Dean Winchester is in love with his best friend, a man he has never met, who goes by the handle AngelofThursday. Problem is, Thursday values his privacy and refuses to meet. Dean buries himself in his work at his bakery Slice of Pi and in computer games, desperately trying to move on from a man he can never have.
James Novak has problems of his own. Trying to cling onto what sense of security he can, he drifts around the city from café to coffee-shop to bar, using their wi-fi to keep his online footprint anonymous. He falls in lust with The Beautiful Man at his favourite coffee-shop, Study/Break, and turns to his best friend The_Michaelsword for advice.
A two-person love triangle for the digital age.
Time Still Exists by starespressos Castiel Novak has dreamed of participating in a theater dancing project forever. When a spot opens at Rowena MacLeod's theater, he jumps right in -- even though it means taking over from someone who has recently passed away. Soon enough, he meets Dean, who spends almost as much time at the theater as Castiel does but refuses to share any details about himself. Castiel is intrigued by him, and not only because Dean is the first person in a long time to treat him with anything less than admiration. As their friendship and the mystery around Dean deepen over time, Castiel’s perception of both himself and the universe is changed forever. 
Falling Through The Ice by athaclena for JupiterJames  Dean's finally retired from the Dallas Stars, and he's back at his original home ice-rink for a publicity stunt for his autobiography. Problem is, he has to do something that terrifies him. Second problem is, he has to do it in front of the man he was best friends with as a kid, until the ice cracked under him and he was left on the wrong side of an increasingly large chasm.
A story about smashing expectations (and some pumpkins), what it means to be brave, and how to follow your heart. Also, smut.
Genie in a Bottle by thepopeisdope
<3 When Dean finds (okay, steals) a bottle containing a strange, glowing blue substance, he does so thinking it's a cool novelty, at best. It didn't exactly cross his mind that the substance might be a living being, let alone a grumpy, sarcastic, perpetually-underdressed genie waiting for a new master. But now that he has a bona fide genie at his disposal, well-what better chance will he have to help things along with Lisa?
Except, things don't always go as expected, relationships are complicated, magic is never the solution, and sometimes the person you want isn't the person you need.
Between the Lines by JhanaMay Environmental rights activist Castiel Novak may not have grown up on the Plains, but he has thrown himself into protecting and conserving South Dakota’s natural treasures as if he was a native. When Dean Winchester, Hollywood’s modern day John Wayne, comes to South Dakota to film his next movie, Cas is more focused on preventing the environmental damage Dean’s movies cause than hoping for a chance to meet him. After Cas makes some negative comments on social media about the actor’s authenticity as a cowboy, he is invited to spend a week alone with the star, roughing it in the wilderness. Cas sets out to prove exactly how fake Dean Winchester really is, but he isn’t expecting to find out that Dean is a troubled man running from a past that is just as difficult as his own.
50-100 k
so bitter and so sweet by superhoney  Dean has known about the family curse ever since it claimed the life of his mother: anyone who dares to love a Winchester is fated to die. When he takes a chance on love and loses his husband Benny, his belief in its power only grows stronger.
Two years later, a late-night phone call from his brother Sam sends both of their lives spinning wildly out of control. Then Officer Cas Novak arrives in town, looking into the disappearance of Sam’s girlfriend Ruby, and starts asking questions Sam and Dean can’t answer. Complicating matters even further, Dean feels an immediate, overwhelming connection to the intense, blue-eyed source of their problems.
Dealing with all the secrets, the lies, and a brother slowly crumbling under the weight of his guilt doesn’t leave much time for romance, but as Cas gets closer to the truth, he also gets closer to Dean.
Will you be my ten inch hero? by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes) When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?
Reality of Dreams by sternchencas for my sister  Dean Winchester has been living a boring life. At least until his brother is missing, the police think he has something to do with it, and a group of people who call themselves 'Liberi Somniorum' and live in an underground bunker ask him to join them so they can teach him how to use his dreaming abilities. As if that isn't bad enough, the police also took his car and then there's this guy in a trenchcoat who's guarding him, and some dark secret. Dean does his best to convince himself it's a dream. But somehow, sometimes, dreams can be very real, and this time, he just can't wake up. 
Green Corners by rustling_pages
<3 After the death of his son, there is nothing left for Dean other than his garden market. His days are tough, the nights are tougher, but at least there's a reason to get up in the morning. And with the new boom on do-it-yourself garden magic, his business is going okay.
Amidst the passing of time, there is only one thing that distracts him from functioning like a normal human being: Diagonally across the street, in the display window of that traditional Herb and Potion shop, plants are dying in masses.
Storming in to confront the owner goes differently than he imagined, though. Castiel Novak may be the kind of guy who wears old-fashioned mage robes and keeps his shop in sweltering heat, but he's also a talented herbalist, the kindest soul Dean has ever met, and utterly beautiful.
Not that Dean is ready for anything other than friendship.
(Not that Cas doesn’t get sick a bit too often.)
And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets <3 Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.
Turn the World to Gold by superhoney, teacass (Fushigi)
<3 Just as Dean is starting to get comfortable at his new mining job in Nevada, the site is shaken by the announcement of a six-week visit from a team of consultants hired to make changes to the practices and procedures of the mine. Among that team is Castiel Novak, one of the most coolly infuriating, stuck-up, unfairly attractive men Dean has ever met.
The friction between them comes to a head during an unexpected but scorching hot makeout session at a company picnic, and they soon fall into a pattern of hooking up at the site or after work at Castiel’s hotel. But it’s just sex, or so they keep telling themselves. Castiel is only in Nevada for six weeks. They’ll have their fun, and then it’ll be over. But as those six weeks go by and they gradually get to know each other, both of them find themselves wondering if there might be a chance it could become something more.
Where the Lightning Splits the Sea by thepopeisdope Seattle’s hero never fails to live up to his given nickname. Like an angel, he appears when he’s needed most, a miracle when none is expected; he gets in quick, then gets out quicker, and like the angel he is, he goes off to perform his miracles elsewhere, often without any link between one miracle and the next, aside from the fact that he shows up when someone needs help.That’s how Dean met him, after all. The Angel is the only reason he’s alive.And that’s also why Dean is more than a little bit in love with him.But when the Angel is suddenly defeated, Dean’s world turns on its head. His city is in a vacuum, heroless for the first time in years, and to make Dean’s life even harder, his roommate has turned quiet, withdrawn. Dean doesn’t know what happened to make Cas’ mood swing so drastically, but he wants nothing more than to see him happy again. Dean owes the Angel a debt. Choosing between the two isn’t an easy thing to do.When the Hunter is born, the balance becomes nearly impossible to keep up.
Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.
Silver and Cold by superhoney The death of a young man in an apparent animal attack brings hunter Cas Novak to the small town of Sydnam, Maine. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he’s tracking a werewolf, but discovering the killer’s identity is no easy task. All signs point towards Dean Winchester, a lonely recluse who lives in the middle of the woods and whose antagonistic behaviour does little to lessen Cas’ suspicions.As the investigation drags on, their mutual distrust gives way to a wary alliance. Cas’ instincts warn him that Dean is hiding something, but as he uncovers the man beneath the mystery, his professional interest becomes far more personal. Praying his faith in Dean isn’t misplaced, Cas races to catch the killer before the next full moon rises and another life is abruptly cut short.
The Horse-King by cloud_wolfbane, opal_bullets  When orphans Sam and Dean Winchester get jobs in Horsetown, they figure that being stable boys is just their lot in life. But when King Metatron takes a peculiar liking to an even more peculiar horse they find themselves in the middle of an intrigue they barely understand, leading to an adventure full of magic and mystery, faith and betrayal, and maybe - if they survive it - love. 
In Some Sacred Place by Hellosaidthemoon, schmerzerling  Dean has cystic fibrosis, a brutal respiratory disease that means he can’t cut it in the life his father chose for him, despite his very best efforts. He also has a give ‘em hell attitude and a dogged crush on his childhood best friend. Castiel has an absent father, a stellar GPA, a comprehensive ten-year plan, and—a lot of reservations about all this. 
Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche) Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.
100+ k
The Brave and the Bold by manifestingwings  In a world where dragons reign over the mountains and terror looms in the streets of the city of Lavendel, Dean Winchester never expected his main problem to be a surly thief with eyes like the sea and a rare smile. As Captain of the Guard, he knows he has to arrest him for his crimes, but there may be bigger things at stake… 
Shot Through The Heart by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim)  As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that's not much of a problem - if it wasn't for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude.
He's been an annoying thorn in Dean's side since day one - and the hunter doesn't see that change anytime soon!
Everyone's a Critic by Englandwouldfall  The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.
(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).
Dreaming in Digital by Ltleflrt for jupiter_james  Set in a Cyberpunk world where global warming and climate change has driven most of the human population into domed cities, Sam and Dean hunt rogue tech and science experiments gone wrong in the shadows, protecting the lives of those the government doesn't care about anymore. On a trip to the dump to scavenge for valuables Dean finds Castiel, an Angel Industries sex bot, which is worth his weight in credits. But when he turns the sex bot on, he learns that Castiel is sentient.
Artificial Intelligence is illegal, and for good reason, but Cas doesn't put off dangerous vibes. That doesn't stop Sam from researching his creators while Dean's off making friends with the android. If there's someone out there creating a robot army unconstrained by the 3 rules of robotics, Sam's going to make sure the operation is shut down for good.
Castiel just wants to exist. He wants to read and work in the Winchester's greenhouse and have movie nights with Dean. But he also wants to understand. Himself. His unexpected reaction to Dean. What it it means to feel.
A Graced Kingdom by angvlicmish
<3 this is a wip but i can’t not add it!!! Ten years ago, the Northern Continent was at peace, angels and humans living side by side until the human King Winchester of Torrin waged war against the angels in an attempt to wipe them out - an attempt that almost succeeded. However, to this day some angels still remain in hiding and with an unpredictable turn of events one of them finds himself as the personal guard to King Winchester’s firstborn son, Prince Dean. With a strange ability no angel has had before - to hide his own wings - no one knows that they have just let their greatest enemy into the heart of their kingdom.
Alone and struggling to deal with being surrounded by the ones who slaughtered his people, Castiel comes head to head with the Crown Prince. But what he finds within the man is not what he expected and they soon become each other’s only comfort.
Will Dean be the strength Castiel needs to pull through or will he be the weakness that will tear everything to pieces?
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peterstanslizzie · 5 years ago
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Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.24 (Night of the Day of the Dead)
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Skipping ahead to the Halloween special
- Matt and Lanny are devising a plan to collect the best candies and treats around town on Halloween Day. Lizzie interjects and suggests Matt should dress up as a troll. So, Lizzie likes to stir the pot too; I thought Matt was the only one.
- Matt asks his parents if he could borrow a wheelbarrow that he could use to collect candy but they tell him he’s not going Trick-o-treating this year. Instead, they want him to go to Lizzie’s school’s ‘Halloween Fright Night”. 
- Lizzie freaks out because she doesn’t want her little brother to ruin her night. What happened to all the progress made in their relationship before this, like in episode 1.15 (Sibling Bonds)? I guess that was just a one time thing. 
Planning Fright Night
- Kate, who is in-charge of planning ‘Halloween Fright Night’ is holding a meeting with her fellow classmates, including Lizzie, Miranda and Larry on what each person is going to be doing. Larry wants to do his ‘Darth Vader’ impression but Kate isn’t impressed.
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I wish I was able to look this friendly when putting people down lol
- They move on to decorations and Miranda brings up her idea of displaying skeletons from ‘Dia de los Muertos’, which is a holiday celebrated in Mexico to remember friends and family members whom have died. This ‘Day of the Dead’ celebration begins around Halloween Day and ends a couple of days later. 
- Kate rejects her suggestion because she finds it to be lame. Lizzie backs Miranda up by saying it’s cool to bring in stuff from other countries/cultures. Everyone else in the meeting seem to agree with her as well. Kate has no other choice but to give in to the miniature skeletons. 
- Miranda also adds in a little warning to Kate to make sure she treats the skeletons well or else she will end up like that kid who made fun of spirits and was found in a coffin full of skeletons. I didn’t think it was necessary for Miranda to add that story in but go off sis. 
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Kate is definitely spooked out from that story Miranda just told. 
- Lizzie wants to sign up to be ‘Vampire Mistress’ in the Dungeon of Terror. She’s been sick of wearing her mom’s old marching band uniform every year before this. Kate hesitantly co-signs with Lizzie on this but on the condition Lizzie cleans out the utility room where the dungeon will be located.  
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No wonder she’s over wearing that costume. That wind instrument (Is that a tuba or a French horn?) looks like it weighs a ton. 
Kate is Not So Great
- After the meeting, Lizzie and Gordo head inside the utility room to clean it out. Lizzie thinks Gordo came in with her to lead a helping hand but he didn’t agree to such thing. She insists he should help her but he calls her out for always doing whatever Kate asks her to do. Ugh, here with go with Gordo and his anti-popularity speech again. 
- Strategically, Lizzie tells him that her cousin, Heather (I assume she’s attractive) is coming to town in the summer and she will be able to get him to go on a date with her. Who is Heather? Have we ever seen her on screen before? Anyways, I didn’t know Gordo was this girl-crazy because he suddenly wants to help Lizzie now. 
- We then get a montage of the two ‘cleaning’ the room and Lizzie goes over to Kate to inform her she’s finished. 
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Now that’s a very condescending thing to do to someone
- Oh and despite doing what Kate told her to do, Kate changes her mind and tells Lizzie that she’s going to be the Vampire Mistress instead and Lizzie will now dress up as ‘Floppy the Clown’ and give out balloons. I would have popped Kate in the forehead at this point. 
- Back at the Mcguire home, Matt is doing some prep to make his own Halloween costume for the party. He wants to go as himself, but inside out like his organs and bones are exposed. If I was Jo, I wouldn’t give Matt anything from the fridge to be used as his prop/costume; She just gave him an entire bowl of perfectly delicious-looking sausages!!!
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OMG, is this Sam and Jo’s first on-screen mouth-to-mouth kiss? They are honestly #couplegoals
Meet Miranda’s Parents
- The students of Hillridge Junior High are busy prepping for the upcoming party and we finally get to meet Miranda’s parents for the first time!
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I love how Miranda isn’t afraid to call Kate out on her BS in front of her parents. I bet she tells them plenty of stories about Kate at home.
- Kate goes into her fake, ‘nice girl’ mode and greets them with her over-the-top innocent voice. Even when Miranda’s parents are talking to her about ‘Dia de Muertos’, she tries really hard to look interested. Side-note: this celebration sounds pretty much similar to how the Chinese pay tribute to their ancestors. We also leave out food in front of their tombstone or at least a prayer altar. 
- As soon as her parents dropped off the miniature skeletons and left, Kate demanded that Miranda take them away from the refreshments table. She even tossed them over to Miranda as if they were made of crap. Kate’s definitely being a little racist here. 
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Miranda warns Kate again that messing with her ancestors will bring bad luck upon her.
- Well, it seems like Miranda’s ancestors are going to play a trick on Kate after all:
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The supernatural have arrived
Time For Fright Night!
- We shift things over to the actual party and Lizzie, who is now dressed up as a clown is handing out lame un-twisted balloon animals to everyone. When it’s Matt’s turn to get a balloon, homegirl who has been mean to Matt all episode even popped his balloon right after she gave it to him. She should tone down the attitude with her brother, I’m just saying. 
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That football player looks a lot older than an average middle schooler or even a high-schooler I’m just saying
- Side-note: When Lizzie said to her friends, “Can’t you guys believe Kate?!”, Gordo takes a glance at Kate and he seems to be taken aback by her beauty. He really is girl-crazy!  
- Matt is seen eating the tamale that was left as an offering to Miranda’s ancestors and this shocks Miranda. She should kinda have left a note telling people to not eat the tamale by explaining that it’s for her cultural celebration. And then it hit me; Miranda explaining to Matt about how him eating that tamale has angered her ancestors and they will be coming to wreck havoc on their world is all just an elaborate scheme to get back at Kate. 
- Plus, we all know how bad of an actress Miranda is ;)
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I gotta say; Kate’s hair and make-up looks on-point. 
- Anyways, it seems like their scheme is working because Kate is believing that all the weird things happening around her is real from Matt’s lemonade changing colours to the miniature skeletons disappearing all of a sudden. On top of that, Lizzie and Miranda are definitely putting on a show in front of Kate when they are acting worried and questioning everything that has happened.  
- They even talked about Matt disappearing all of a sudden like it’s nothing. Lol, if Matt were really missing, Lizzie would freak out! But I guess Kate wasn’t wise enough to catch onto that. Gordo, on the other hand is playing the role of the level-headed guy who believes there’s a logical explanation to everything. 
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Actually, this brief scene with Animated Lizzie already revealed to us that this is all just a plan. She literally said, “The truth is, if Matt did get spirited away to the realm of the dead, who’s going to be in trouble with mom and dad? Me.”
Jo and Sam’s Night In
- Since the kids are out of the house for the night, Sam and Jo are ready to spend some ‘quality time’ together after giving out candy to the neighbourhood kids. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Sam opens the door to a kid who was just at their house getting candy like 10-15 minutes ago. 
- He demands for more candy from them but Jo gives him their chicken pot pie, which is better! But not if you are vegetarian like that kid. That little brat even threw the pie back into Sam’s face.
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I would’ve wrecked that kid if it were up to me lol. 
Kate Gets Her Well-Deserved Karma But Was It Too Much?
- Things get worse (or even more fake, in my case) as they discover that Gordo is now ‘trapped’ inside a toy. Kate and Miranda argue about one bringing the skeletons to the party and the other dissing them, to the point where that toy Gordo’s trapped in falls to the ground and breaks. At this point, you’d have to be dumb to believe that Gordo was actually in that toy. 
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Lizzie as a scary clown ready to bring Kate down. Hey, that rhymes.
- Lizzie bursts into the room, now all zombie-like and proceeds to walk towards Kate and call her name at the same time. Kate and Miranda is now running away from zombie-clown Lizzie and they both hide in the utility closet. Kate wants all of this to go away and so, Miranda recommends her to do a few things to get the spirits to forgive her. 
- First, she asks Kate to shower in dirt and blood but because they don’t have those at the moment, she tells her to improvise by heading over to the cafeteria to cover herself with chocolate cake and punch. We then get this iconic moment:
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Lizzie and co. really likes getting Kate wet or dirty huh? 
- Without thinking, Kate’s just doing everything Miranda asks her to do and was even going to apologize to Lizzie. But finally, she finally realises what’s actually going on. Even Miranda’s parents were in on the prank. 
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At this point, that’s just public humiliation. I feel so bad for Kate. Lizzie and Miranda really made an overkill this time around. I mean, what Kate did was bad but I don’t think this is the way to go about it. They are lucky she didn’t go Carrie on them.
- The episode ends with Sam and Jo about to play their own prank on the vegetarian kid but when the doorbell rings again, it is Miranda’s parents whom were on the other side of the door and unfortunately, they are sprayed with a water hose and tossed with oats. 
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Jo says, “We thought you were trick-or-treaters!” and Mrs. Sanchez replies, “I see, we give them candy at our house”. That dialog is hilarious!
Overall Thoughts
- The highlights of this episode to me were two things; The costumes and the prank on Kate. Lizzie and Kate looked great in their costumes and the Skeleton bride and groom looked awesome as well. And it’s really smart for them to incorporate ‘Dia de los Meurtos’ into this episode, which lended a lot of background and meaning to this Halloween story. I just watched Coco last month and I was proud of myself for knowing how much this celebration means to Mexicans. 
- The message of this episode is also pretty strong, which is to respect other people’s cultures and traditions. Kate was pretty ignorant and closed-minded in this episode. And although I don’t agree with the public humiliation she’s experienced, I do hope that Kate or those cut from the same cloth as her would learn to think twice before being disrespectful.
- Jo and Sam’s storyline was short and sweet. I actually love seeing those two all lovey-dovey with one another. Overall, I really enjoyed this episode; It’s certainly re-watchable and a great 20 minutes to spend watching on Halloween. 
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omnomsauruswrites · 6 years ago
Text
Angel of Death Chp 10
Pairing: Veteran!Bucky x medic!reader
Summary: How many times can you save a life?
Warnings: Depression, PTSD, flashbacks, suicidal attempt
Masterlist
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The desert sunrise was always different, and yet always seemed like a mirage. The sun hit her cheeks and dried her eyes.
She had a lost another soldier the night before. She hadn’t slept. He was 19. Killed in a firefight. Her chest felt heavier, as she breathed in the dry air.
Her eyes lingered on the sunrise before she went back to running the loop around the post.
“Steve will run with you the rest of the week,” she mentioned on Tuesday.
“Why can’t …”
“I’m in D.C.”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes. She kept glancing down the street or anywhere but him. It irked him that she wouldn’t look at him not since he saw her scars. It was as if he was back at square one. “Why?”
“I have a meeting.”
He tried not to growl at her short explanations. “Can you look at me for fucks sake?” he snapped.
Her eyes were wide and he tried not to groan. “Excuse me?” she asked.
“Ever since last week, when I saw your scars you’ve avoided looking me in the eye. Me! Me with the prosthetic arm! You think I’m going to judge you for having scars?”
Her mouth opened and closed, then went into a fine line. Her right hand went to the hem of her shirt, playing with the stitching. It was if she was protecting herself, but from what. “Not a lot of people know about my scars, James,” she whispered. “A lot less people have seen them.”
“That why you don’t date?”
“No one wants to date a woman with burns. A woman who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. A woman who had a flashback in a coffee shop because someone dropped a mug.” Her eyes were focused again on anything but him, as she confessed the untold story of her date.  
“Y/n…” he breathed, heart breaking at her confession. He wanted to reach out her, to reassure her but he didn’t know how to do that now.
Her eyes flitted to his. “You act like you are the only one with the scars from the war. Your’s are just more prominent. Take a look at the center when I’m gone. Watch and listen. I’ll see you next week.”
“Here.”
A small bottle of Jack was shoved into his hand. He looked up at her. She smiled brightly, a jacket secured around her, as they sat on the benches outside on the chilly New Year’s Eve.
Slate blue eyes met hers. “Where did you get this?”
She shrugged then bumped her shoulder against his. “I’m on and off the post a lot, Barnes.”
He smirked at her. He had run into her a few days prior, suggesting that she join him. She joked that their first real conversation after of months of him staring at her was him suggesting that she spends New Year’s Eve with him. He had blushed, which made her giggle, before agreeing.
“You are going to have to share though,” she mentioned.
He twisted open the small bottle, taking a small sip before handing it to her. Her fingers grazed his as he passed it to her. He felt electricity shoot up his arm with the gentle touch.
“No fireworks tonight.”
She nodded, taking a sip. “Probably not.”
There was a pause before she spoke again, “Well, at least I have someone to kiss at midnight.”
Running with Steve wasn’t the same as running with y/n. Steve liked to chat. Bucky realized he like the silence. He liked that they stopped on the stoop before she left. He didn’t like that Steve recommended grabbing coffee when they were done. He had a routine. He didn’t like breaking it. Was this what y/n felt like at the bar in her booth?
It’s when he realized that was her goal. Get him into a routine so that it helped him. And while she had done that, she had also wiggled her way into his life and he didn’t know what would happen if he had to figure out his own routine.
The explosion rocked the chopper. And she immediately threw open the sliding door, running towards the blazing fire. She heard a voice, screaming at her to stop. But all she heard was her own voice screaming, “Rhodey!!!!”
Her suit was pressed and she sat straight in the uncomfortable chair. Her eyes glanced at every member of the committee behind the bench. She tried to breathe. She tried to relax her face. “Don’t say anything,” her lawyer had told her. “You gave your written statement, if anything comes up reference that.”
She had nodded and wiped her clammy hands on her skirt. She tried not to put her hand on her right side, where the scars were. She put on the facade. She was OK. She was Mercy, nothing could take her down.
“Have you heard from her?” Bucky asked Clint on Friday night.
Clint nodded, as he poured a drink, but he didn’t explain anything.
“Is she OK?”
“Yeah.”
Bucky tried not to growl in frustration again. What was it with him and y/n, giving short answers. “Care to elaborate on any of that?” Bucky asked.
“Look the last time I elaborated on y/n’s life without her approval, she took off my head. She’ll be back Sunday. Ask her then.”
Bucky sighed and stared at his phone. He had stored her phone number months ago but never reached out. He felt like an ass for what had happened on Tuesday and he had been worried about her ever since. He looked down at the words he had typed that morning:
A man who can’t handle those things, isn’t a man you want to date.
His thumb hovered over the send button, sending it could change their dynamic. But she needed to know, so he hit send.
A finger traced the carved S, then the A, the M. It then moved to WILSON. It hovered on the N.
Y/n sat on her knees. She had seen the text in the middle of the night and tears glazed her eyes as she reread the words into the early morning. “I promised you I’d save him. And I did it again, Sam. He’s better now or at least I think he is,” she confessed softly.
She choked on a sob. “He doesn’t know, Sam. He doesn’t remember me. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse.”
Tears streamed down her face, as she stared at the tombstone of Bucky’s best friend, her friend. Sobs wracked her body, as she hugged it. “I don’t know if can keep saving him. I don’t know anything anymore.”
@scuzmunkie @littleravenwrites @cari105 @soldierplum @muggleluna @valkyrieofsmut @youreahandsomedevil @coal000 @xxashy999xx @wishingforahome @lokissoul @infinitycaprogers​ @randomfandompenguin @verygraphicink @missinstantgratification @givemethatgold @marvelausmylife @budlitebitch @keldachick @slender--spirit @chook007 @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes @jessieray98 @purely-imagines-and-fantasies @catsandbooksinafarawayplace @existingovertherainbow @calwitch @flashfanfics @creepshowzombae @everythingisoverrated @marvelausmylife @ex-bookjunky @winchesterswantmypie @ven9eance6661 @crownofmanga @38leticia @dracris33 @ladylovelyfan
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low-budget-mulan · 6 years ago
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1-155
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This is going to be long. So it’s going under.
1: Full name
Sara [REDACTED]2: Age
22 1/23: 3 Fears
Caterpillars, rolly pollies, idk?4: 3 things I love
my niece, my job, my friends5: 4 turns on
nice, caring, strong, able to cook6: 4 turns off
any of the guys I have been in relationships with lol7: My best friend
I have many. Brandon, kelsey, renee8: Sexual orientation
straight 9: My best first date
I mean. All my first dates were ok? Like the last 2 guys I dated I had a lot of fun. We ate and laughed and talked about memes. 10: How tall am I
5 ft 6 in11: What do I miss
My niece12: What time were I born
*was         idk like 2 pm?
13: Favourite color
purple14: Do I have a crush
nah fam. Aint nobody got time for dat 15: Favourite quote
”be not afraid” 16: Favourite place
Mammoth/june mountain, disneyland, yosemite17: Favourite food
My grandma’s cooking. Always. 18: Do I use sarcasm
Nooooo. Why would I do that (i was being sarcastic. And yes) 19: What am I listening to right now
Slime rancher home screen music 20: First thing I notice in new person
face21: Shoe size
1222: Eye color
brown23: Hair color
^24: Favourite style of clothing
hobo with a job 25: Ever done a prank call?
yes27: Meaning behind my URL
brandon insulted me. I agreed 
28: Favourite movie
Totoro, book of life, home, Christopher Robin29: Favourite song
idk??30: Favourite band
WAL31: How I feel right now
Sleepy after getting off a 38 hour shift32: Someone I love
My niece33: My current relationship status
Married to my job I guess. 34: My relationship with my parents
There is one at least35: Favourite holiday
CHRISTMAS36: Tattoos and piercing i have
Be not afraid on my arm. No piercings 37: Tattoos and piercing i want
Verso L’Alto, and some others38: The reason I joined Tumblr
neighbor made me one 
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
I don’t hate him. I am hurt. But he decided to not want to be friends at all. I would have still loved to be friends with him, even though we didn’t work out. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
no41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
My cousin? no 
42: When did I last hold hands?
idk? many moons ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
depends if I shower. If I shower then 30 mins. If not then 10 
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?
No I don’t have to shave my legs. 45: Where am I right now?
in bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
My friend renee. But I have never been drunk before because I am not a lightweight and I also know how to say no. Why would I intentionally want to make myself sick. 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
depends where I am and how I am feeling 
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
yes, because I make minimum wage as a first responder and can’t afford to live on my own. 49: Am I excited for anything?
Not being on night shift anymore XD currently dying from it and need a break.
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
Brandito51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
Whenever a patient or random person starts creeping on me. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
I hugged My niece so many times today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
I would tell him to go away. But like that’s just because I am mad at him. He can kiss whoever he wants. I don’t care. I don’t own him. He is his own person. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
My friend Sam 55: What is something I disliked about today?
not sleeping all day 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
idk?57: What do I think about most?
My niece and how much I miss her. and wanting to move out 58: What’s my strangest talent?
I don’t have any 59: Do I have any strange phobias?
caterpillars and rolly pollies 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind 61: What was the last lie I told?
idk? Probably something I said to a patient? 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
online63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
no64: Do I believe in magic?
no65: Do I believe in luck?
no66: What’s the weather like right now?
sunny 7767: What was the last book I’ve read?
Emerald Dodge’s battlecry Series. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
makes my physically sick69: Do I have any nicknames?
Low Budget Mulan, Sa’a, Scara, Hoe70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
uhhhhhh My back? and also my wrists and neck. But this is all from work and having to lift heavy patients. 71: Do I spend money or save it?
both. But I need to start saving more 
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
yea73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
bubble gum tape 
74: Favourite animal?
idk75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
working.76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
doesnt have one 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
idk78: How can you win my heart?
memes, food, money79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
”guess I’ll Die”80: What is my favorite word?
idk81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
i don’t have any 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
Ambulances are not a taxi service and your stubbed toes are not emergencies. Pay first responders more. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
not that I know of. 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
super sarcasm probably? idk? flight? invisibility? super strength?85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
this one 86: What is my current desktop picture?
default picture87: Had sex?
no, just waffles88: Bought condoms?
no89: Gotten pregnant?
no90: Failed a class?
many91: Kissed a boy?
yes92: Kissed a girl?
no93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
cant remember94: Had job?
many95: Left the house without my wallet?
yep96: Bullied someone on the internet?
just my sister97: Had sex in public?
no, just waffles98: Played on a sports team?
yes99: Smoked weed?
no100: Did drugs?
crack is wack101: Smoked cigarettes?
ew no102: Drank alcohol?
heck yea103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
no I dont hate myself104: Been overweight?
yes105: Been underweight?
no106: Been to a wedding?
yes107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
yes108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
yes109: Been outside my home country?
yes110: Gotten my heart broken?
ye111: Been to a professional sports game?
I’ve worked them 112: Broken a bone?
yes113: Cut myself?
yes114: Been to prom?
no115: Been in airplane?
yes116: Fly by helicopter?
no117: What concerts have I been to?
Many118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
no119: Learned another language?
pig latin120: Wore make up?
ye121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
no122: Had oral sex?
ew no 123: Dyed my hair?
yes124: Voted in a presidential election?
yes125: Rode in an ambulance?
Bruh. I work in one. I drive that bitch126: Had a surgery?
yes127: Met someone famous?
Many famous sports people and some others 128: Stalked someone on a social network?
every day 129: Peed outside?
yes130: Been fishing?
yes131: Helped with charity?
yes132: Been rejected by a crush?
no because I never make the first move. And I never tell someone I like them unless they have said they liked me first 133: Broken a mirror?
lol ye134: What do I want for birthday?
money135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
many. Idk?136: Was I named after anyone?
no137: Do I like my handwriting?
sometimes138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
furby and my doll139: Favourite Tv Show?
idk140: Where do I want to live when older?
yosemite, june mountain, mammoth, japan 141: Play any musical instrument?
no142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
on my hand, My mom poured hot caramel on me. 143: Favourite pizza toping?
pepperoni144: Am I afraid of the dark?
no145: Am I afraid of heights?
no146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
no 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
My whole life148: What I’m really bad at
everything149: What my greatest achievments are
nothing150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
some stuff my mom has said 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery
move out and buy a house and save the rest 152: What do I like about myself
nothing 153: My closest Tumblr friend
brandito and kelsey 154: Something I fantasise about
having a family 155: Any question you’d like?
rood 
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darkcolinodonorgasm · 6 years ago
Note
Ask Me Stuff: the 7s (7, 17, 27...)
Ohhhh, this is gonna be long :’D But thank you! I need to wait for the video to render so, here we goooo
7: My best friend
Camilla. And, of course, my dog.
17: Favourite food
Chocolate. And pizza.
27: Meaning behind my URL
I wanted to change it from morgenstern-cullen, but colinodonorgasm was already taken, so I went down the Dark Hook hole. And odonorgasm... for reasons :’D
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
So many tatoos. I want “provehito in altum”, “even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”, some Tolkien quotes... so many things
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
Loud enough for me to enjoy but never to bother the others: it bothers me when others do that, so I tend to keep it down when using my earphones. In my house, still loud enough for me to enjoy and not be - even more - deafened by it.
57: What do I think about most?
Food, sleep, when it’s time to go back home, writing, Colin, Captain Swan, reading... so many things. Even work, sometimes.
67: What was the last book I’ve read?
Magisterium 4.
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
Sprained ankle, i guess.
71: Do I spend money or save it?
I usually save it, though sometimes I do go on a shopping spree...
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
I’ve just tried. I can’t )=
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
Yup.
74: Favourite animal?
A tie between wolves and tigers.
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
Writing, probably.
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
Morningstar, of course :’D All jokes aside, I think that would be his last name. It’s perfect, and Lucifer only managed to “confirm” it for me (thanks mostly to Cassandra Clare and her Morgenstern family)
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
Club Can’t Handle Me by Flo Rida.
78: How can you win my heart?
By being honest with me and respecting me. It’s easy, it’s people that make it difficult.
(If you also love Killian Jones, Colin and Captain Swan and buy me chocolate and books, you also get bonus points)
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
... Beloved mother/wife? I hope not daughter, though. But honestly, I don’t know, we’re not much used to writing those things? Though toombstones are often nice, they only have the name, a photo and the dates of birth and death.
87: Had sex?
Nopes.
(Eh.)
97: Had sex in public?
No. But I don’t know whether I’d like the “danger” of it - my  mind would, the problem would be me in that moment.
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
Pfffft, of course. Well, I think so?
117: What concerts have I been to?
30 Seconds to Mars, Padua, July 2013.
Plus some Festivalshows (local shows with pretty famous (italian) guests, who set the bar so high when a few years ago they brought Blue. BLUE!! I still have the 20 mins video hehe
127: Met someone famous?
Yeps! Colin, Rose McIver, Sam Witwer *sigh* (those who I actually met, I mean)
137: Do I like my handwriting?
No. I hate it, it’s like a chicken trying to write.
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Ohhhhh yes. Several times.
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thestuckylibrary · 7 years ago
Text
Mod’s Reads: March 2018
Mod Iamnmbr3
But We Can Try by hetrez (complete | 10,567 | G )
Bucky said, "These are love letters, Rogers. You've been drawing me love letters.”
teach your man to fish by silentwalrus (complete | 12,835 | T ) 
Bucky doesn’t deign to stay in Stark Tower for much longer than it takes to completely clean out the kitchens’ fish supply. After slurping down the last oyster and sneering in disgust at the contents of the walk-in freezer, Bucky turns to Steve, pelt over his shoulder, and says, “Where do you live?”
Lonely Dragons by Taste_is_Sweet (complete | 4,813 | T )
Bucky was sitting in the corner where the railing met the building, cross-legged and hunched and of course in the ridiculous moose hoodie plus a quilt around his shoulders. It was the quilt Tony had ordered with vintage Howling Commandos and SSR symbols all over it—score—but the overall effect of Bucky sitting alone and all bundled up like that was just tragic. And adorable. But mostly tragic.
"You look incredibly tragic out here all by yourself like this. Just saying." Tony decided he wasn't going to have to holler for help or call one of his suits, so he fully committed to stepping out onto the balcony. It was, as he'd surmised, fucking cold. Maybe less so if one was wrapped in an awesome quilt and a ridiculous moose hoodie, but still. Tony tightly folded his arms, wishing he'd had the foresight to grab a hoodie himself—or a quilt—instead of just coming out here in his Sisters of Mercy tee-shirt. "Really, you're like, a lost kitten. A lost kitten with antlers. You do know we can afford light and heat and stuff, right?"
Steve, Bucky, and the Tinhat Collective by mypedia (complete | 7,015 | G )
The internet and the Avengers fandom react to the events of Civil War.
***
avengers-daily:
How do they get 200% more attractive when they're covered in dirt
#avengers
2554 notes
the coming of our golden age by buckyjerkbarnes (complete | 2,761 | T )
Bucky’s heart came to a stuttering halt in his chest: Steve, almost obscured if Bucky wasn't so used to finding him in places he wasn't supposed to be, was boot to boot with Thanos. He gripped the golden gauntlet in both his hands, despite one of the purple fucker’s arms being the size of his torso.
The mad titan looked as though his day had just been made.
[Or the one where everything works out and no one dies because I'm stuck in the denial stage. Speaking this into existence!]
A Precarious, Fragile Thing by Taste_is_Sweet for tigriswolf (complete | 6,961 | T )
"I didn't know he did that," Tony said. He knew Bucky liked tucking himself so far under Steve's arm that it was like he was trying to climb into his armpit. But he'd always stayed upright, just kind of plastering himself against Steve's side. This blanket thing was new.
"Seventy years of skin hunger," Steve said. His voice was just as soft, but for a moment his eyes flickered hot with anger, bright as the candy-colored screen. "He was always tactile. Now, when things get…well, sometimes it helps. The contact."
And it looked…nice, the two of them together like that: Comfortable. Familiar. Safe. Tony knew what a precarious, fragile thing it was, to feel safe in the middle of the night.
despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario) (WIP | 57,623 | M )
“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.
Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—
“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”
Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”
Mod Blue
Flush by I_Dont_KnowWhatImDoing (oneshot | 4,923 | E)
Bucky would really like for his life to just be simple, but all evidence suggests that the universe is actively conspiring against this goal. This is further reinforced when Steve Rogers is dragged into his suite, almost completely unable to communicate under the influence of some crazy Wakandan flower, and randy as all hell.
Minimal Property Damage by Nejinee (oneshot | 6,704 | E)
Everyone assumes Bucky's super soldier body will process the gas that's gone and driven others mad with sexual hysteria. Everyone assumes the evil scientists messed up and Bucky's okay. Everyone assumes wrong because no one ever thinks about Steven Grant Rogers.
-
A sex pollen PWP.
Bowties and Bugs by Tsuki_Amano (complete | 41,014 | not rated)
In his line of work, Steve thinks he's seen everything. After all, it's hard to surprise a spy. So when he gets a call from one very disgruntled James Barnes who's handcuffed to a tombstone, it's safe to say they've set a precedent.
Or the one where Steve and Bucky are both spies working for SHIELD and get called in for a rescue mission. Which should be fine because Steve most definitely does not have an earth-shattering crush on Bucky Barnes and his perfect hair. Except he does. And they're playing the role of happily married husbands.
'til you come to me by radialarch (oneshot | 4,978 | T)
"I'll do it," Steve says. "I'll marry Bucky."
(It's because of the Russians.)
sometimes everything is touch and go by santanico (oneshot | 14,180 | E)
Bucky and Steve's mission is to infiltrate a suburban neighborhood as a married couple. In theory, it should be difficult, but it also kind of isn't.
Bucky hesitates. “It’s undercover. We’ve done undercover before.” He shrugs.
Steve laughs again. “This isn’t exactly the same as infiltration under the guise of being regular civilians. What is it again – what did Fury’s email say?” Steve pauses, tapping his chin with his index finger. “ ‘Mr. and Mr. Rogers are a couple who have recently moved into a neighborhood in northern Colorado. You are to maintain an image of high-standing and societal grace.’ That’s not exactly your scene, is it, Buck? Especially the part about being Mr. Rogers.”
Everything (that I couldn't have) by obsessivereader (oneshot | 7,252 | T)
“You don’t have to do this, Steve.” Bucky pushes away the letter from the Russian government demanding that one Dmitri Batischev, alias the Winter Soldier, be surrendered to them to stand trial for his crimes.
Steve hesitates in the doorway. Bucky must’ve heard the tail end of his conversation with Pepper. Now he looks tired, and resigned, and so done and Steve fucking hates that Bucky keeps getting dealt shit hand after shit hand. “I want to.” He hopes Bucky can hear the conviction in his voice. “I’m not losing you again.”
“But getting married? You think that’s gonna work?”
Satellite (I'm Part Of You) by Brenda (oneshot | 4,190 | E)
"I'm okay, Steve." Bucky raised his hand to cup Steve's jaw, his thumb slowly stroking over stubble.
Steve shuddered once, all over, then brought his own hand up to cover Bucky's. Felt the calluses and nicks, the steady pulse beating at his wrist. "I thought I was gonna lose you again."
Bucky gave him a small, fond smile. "I thought I was gonna lose you."
The Arsonist's Choir by Brenda (complete | 11,911 | E)
"It's Bucky," Steve added, helplessly. The buyer was now sitting at Mikhailov's table, but the mission seemed unimportant. "He's been arrested. In Texas. And, uh, apparently, we're married."
"Congratulations," Natasha replied, with a small grin. "Are you registered anywhere?"
yoga mesh by wearing_tearing (oneshot | 2,293 | M)
“You could just be honest with him,” Nat suggests. Beside her, Sam nods.
Bucky levels them both with a flat look. “This past weekend I asked if he wanted to go out on a date and Steve said not to be funny because, and I quote, ‘Where would we even find dates this late?’”
it's actually like you're photoshopped by biblionerd07 (oneshot | 11,870 | G)
Steve's relationship with Bucky violates a workplace policy. So, backed into a corner by his well-meaning but meddlesome coworkers, he does what anyone would do. He makes up a fake boyfriend. He just hopes it doesn't cause problems with his real boyfriend.
M is for Murder by rohkeutta (oneshot | 4,196 | M)
I’m pretty low on funds and need to make ends meet this month, Barnes types slowly into a new post three days later. I’m taking commissions for hits in the New York City area.
Will Not Kill: Captain America or other Avengers. Will partially refund payment if target turns out to be HYDRA. Will not go to Jersey. No dismemberment or killing children. Message for negotiations and payment details.
build it bigger than the sun by defcontwo (oneshot | 10,083 | T)
“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”
“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”
Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.
The Spotless by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (oneshot, restricted | 5,640 | T) (reread)
Steve, the face on the screen said, dropping its gaze. I wanted to say first of all, thank you for everything you've done for me. I've had a lot of time to think here in Wakanda, and... A sigh, seventy years of weariness in one breath.
Then he looks up again. I wasn't worth it.
Bucky chooses to fix himself. And Steve realises he's nearly lost Bucky again, because he's been too busy being Captain America to be a friend.
Part 1 of Spotless
From You Have I Been Absent In The Spring by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (oneshot, restricted | 9,411 | E) (reread)
Natasha bangs on his door that evening. “Steve, nobody's seen or heard from you in three days. I'm invading the sadness palace. I have ice cream.” Then: “Five seconds until I pick the lock.” 
Part 2 of Spotless
Lucky Seven by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (complete, restricted | 94,364 | E) (reread)
Captain America trashes his motorcycle a lot. Tony says he'll fix it, then never gets around to it and just buys him a new one. Steve, the Depression-era kid, can't stand the waste and goes looking for somewhere near him in Brooklyn where he can get his bike fixed. That's how he finds Red Star Bike Repair, and the hot Russian-immigrant bike racer who runs it: all long hair and muscles and tattoos. And for the first time since he woke from the ice, Steve feels a connection to someone; a comfort in the other man's silences and his space, an attraction in his sheer skill at racing. But James Barnes isn't exactly who he seems...
Happy Accidents by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (complete, restricted | 29,777 | E) (reread)
Bucky's still in cryo. Steve is in New York, angry and unsettled. And then Trump takes a photo in front of a Captain America mural like Steve has ever supported anything he says or does. So Steve enlists Pepper to throw a costume gala for LGBTQIA causes, and to celebrate his coming out.
It's a terrible idea, especially when a bunch of people come dressed as Bucky.
But then Steve meets a tall dark stranger...
These American Dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) by kariye (oneshot | 50,608 | E)
In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.
Highest Bidder by Brenda (oneshot | 2,774 | M)
"Bidding will start at $5,000, ladies and gentlemen. $5,000 for an evening spent in the charming company of one of the most eligible bachelors in all of New York. The winning bidder will be chauffeured to Mr. Barnes' private yacht, where you'll both share a meal exquisitely prepared by his own personal chef, and a sunset cruise around the harbor. Who says romance is dead." The MC smiled, looking like nothing so much as a very hungry shark.
"$50,000!" Steve called, shocking everyone in the room – and himself – into silence.
The MC blinked. His perfect, plastic smile melted right off his face. "Uh...could you...I'm sorry, what was that?"
Part 1 of Going Once, Going Twice, Sold...
Contract Negotiations by Brenda (oneshot | 4,623 | E)
“If I don't get my mouth on you in the next twenty seconds..." Steve shuddered and paused as he looked up at Bucky like an acolyte seeking favor. "I need...can I? Please?"
"God yes, anything you want," Bucky breathed, and lifted his hips so Steve could tug his slacks and boxers down to his ankles. He was on board with anything – anything at all – as long as Steve didn't stop.
Part 2 of Going Once, Going Twice, Sold...
Booty Call by Brenda (oneshot | 6,703 | E)
Bucky leaned in, rubbed a light, lingering kiss to Steve's parted lips. "Why don't you tell me what you need," he whispered, his breath mingling with Steve's. "Tell me what you need from me."
"I just..." Steve's absurdly long lashes fluttered. He blinked, his eyes already glazing over with desire and want and trust, and it was the trust that shot through Bucky like a bullet. "I just don't want to think for awhile. I just...I want you to..." He paused, swallowed, adam's apple bobbing. "I need you to take me out of my own head for a couple of hours. Can you do that?"
Part 3 of Going Once, Going Twice, Sold...
Public Offering by Brenda (oneshot | 6,960 | E)
"Missed you so much...so fucking much," Steve moaned, then dove back in, his tongue curling, slick and heated, against Bucky's own.
Bucky just deepened the kiss, biting and sharp, slid his tongue alongside Steve's until all he could feel, all he knew, was Steve and only Steve. His touch, his scent, the solid feel of his body, the greedy moans as kiss slid into kiss. Nothing existed outside of this bubble of heat and desire.
"On your knees," he ordered, in the hushed space between them. "I want you to show everyone how sweet you look when you're choking on my cock."
Part 4 of Going Once, Going Twice, Sold...
Closing the Deal by Brenda (oneshot | 10,212 | E)  
Bucky clicked the vibrator off with a smile that morphed into an outright grin at Steve's frustrated growl. "I am gonna have so much fun tonight."
"You're a dick," Steve huffed, but nuzzled Bucky's nape, breathing him in – the hint of woodsy, expensive cologne, the clean smell of soap, and under it, Bucky's own natural scent. Everything about him addictive, and Steve was – as always – completely at his mercy.
"Oh, don't worry, me and my dick have some definite plans for you later," Bucky said, and laced his fingers with Steve's, their palms sliding together perfectly.
Part 5 of Going Once, Going Twice, Sold...
Honeypot by cleo4u2, xantissa (complete | 133,204 | E)
Preconditions: One Sasha Marozow - internationally renowned assassin for hire, known as the Winter Soldier, ex-Hydra operative freelancing for the last five years; One Steve Rogers, Captain America - recently defrosted national hero and Avenger; One assassination contract; One set-up known in the intelligence community as the “honeytrap”.
Expected Result: One Winter Soldier in custody, the name of his employer attained.
Actual result: Definitely not as expected.
Part 1 of Honeypot
Give Up the Ghost by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 19,518 | E)
They were happy together and the year had been good for them. They thought nothing could tear them apart. They were wrong.
Part 2 of Honeypot
The Chosen Verb: Fuck by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 14,295 | E)
“God,' he said, 'I have to have you.' 'Take me. Own me. Use me. Pick a verb. Just please.' 'Fuck you. I'm going to fuck you. That's my verb.” ― C.D. Reiss, Resist
OR
Steve needs Bucky, needs him to fuck him, to break him, to own him. What happens after Steve’s doctors clear him for more strenuous activity.
Part 3 of Honeypot
Cracked Mirror by cleo4u2, xantissa (complete | 34,497 | E)
The Avengers stumble upon an infinity gem while clearing out a smuggler’s lair. The result? Bucky Barnes is back from 1940, reminding both Steve and Sasha how much he’s changed.
Part 4 of Honeypot
Demonique by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (complete | 38,959 | E)
“Oh come on, Steve. You look at me like you want to put me on a pedestal and worship me. You look at Barnes like you want to tear his clothes off with your teeth. Tell me why you two aren’t...?” Peggy smirks at him, because of course this amuses her greatly.
Steve fidgets, trying not to blush. “Peggy, I can’t—“
Peggy steps closer. “Steve. Is this an American peculiarity? Because in the British army, as long as you’re discreet, that sort of thing between two men is fine. I mean, some of our greatest war heroes, and so on.”
“It’s not... that...” Steve cringes.
It’s Bucky’s tentacles.
And how badly he wants them inside him.
Into Infinity by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 6,888 | T)
Clint hadn’t said that Mr Barnes was such a goddamn DILF, tall and lean and dark-haired, skin a tiny bit tanned like he’d spent a day at Coney Island. Not even five years older than Steve. His face could be my throne, Steve thinks, madly, nearly choking himself on the thought.
Then the guy grins. Steve’s fucked. “You must be Steve.”
Part 1 of And Beyond
Sick Day by rooonil_waazlib (oneshot | 6,026 | E)
There, in the big leather recliner that looks out over the water, Adrienne is curled up in Bucky’s lap, swaddled in blankets, both asleep. Steve wants to draw them, wants to capture the ease with which they fit together, the gentleness with which Bucky holds his daughter.
Part 3 of And Beyond
The Manny by LilyInTheSnow (WIP | 54,052 | M)
Steve needs a nanny for his twins. Bucky needs a job and secretly adores kids. Natasha thinks they both need a husband. Or to at least get laid. Either way, it works. Or would if they'd get their shit together.
The thing that drives the wolves away by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 7,876 | T) (reread)
The thing about Bucky these days is that, while he might be a semi-mythical assassin, he's also vulnerable—the kind of vulnerable that makes total strangers want to drape a blanket over his shoulders and take him to safety. The problem is, of course, that Bucky is already safe.
The first time it happens, Bucky has no idea how to react. He and Steve are walking down the street, when a slight woman takes in Bucky’s terrified eyes, the dark circles so bad they almost look like bruises, and Steve’s protective hand resting on his lower back, guiding him down the busy sidewalk (but it must look possessive, to someone looking for a sign), and comes to the wrong conclusion.
You Will Meet a Stranger by spitandvinegar (oneshot | 3,061 | M) (reread)
When the mask falls off Steve recoils.
He'll never forgive himself.
Mod Julia
Kintsugi (Call It Love) by Anna_Heyward (oneshot | 28,653 | E)
Lt. James "Bucky" Barnes has had a long day. A cargo plane from Kabul, a 3 hour flight from Istanbul, and another 8-hour flight from Amsterdam, and he's finally made it to JFK. Just two more flights to go - one to Minneapolis, another to Fairbanks - and he'll be back at base. He can pack up his stuff, head back home to Brooklyn, and be a civilian again. He's got his discharge papers; all he has to do now is get through 12 more hours of flying and this long day will be over.
But the hot stranger he's seated next to on his flight has Bucky wishing that Minneapolis was a little farther away.
The Biggest Part of Me by Anna_Heyward (complete | 69,992 | E)
Newly divorced single dad Steve Rogers moves his kids from the suburbs to Brooklyn to start their new life together, and becomes captivated by the young man who works at the coffee shop downstairs from Steve’s apartment.
Bucky Barnes is 25 years old, working part-time in a coffee shop and still living with his mom. When a handsome single dad in a pinch offers Bucky a job as his nanny, Bucky takes him up on it.
It could be lethal (sleeping with a friend) by asleepygay (oneshot | 2,674 | T)
He’s in Steve’s room because it’s closer to the door in the apartment they share. And he’s starting to remember that they were very impatient last night.
Last night. Christ
-
drinks are had, sex is had, feelings are had
Lazy Sunday by Chiyume (oneshot | 2,231 | E)
“Watch it,” Bucky drawls. “Or you’re gonna end up in trouble.” He meets Steve’s eye, and Steve looks right back. The change in his gaze is minute – barely enough to notice unless you know exactly what to look for. Bucky, however, does know, and as Steve swallows tightly, Bucky feels his own lips widen in a smirk. “Oh,” he breathes. “So that’s how it is?”
In which Steve wakes up with a craving, and Bucky is all too happy to oblige.
Luck of the Irish Stroll by GoldBlooded (oneshot | 8,626 | E)
Every year Steve and Sam go on the Irish Stroll Bar Crawl, and ever since their first time on the Stroll four years ago, Steve and Sam cross paths with Bucky and Natasha.
Every year they drink and celebrate in a little group, and every year Steve’s world is rocked by the gorgeous, blue-eyed man that has captivated him since they first locked eyes fighting over a couple of pints of Guinness from the bartender.
Captain Cosplay by alby_mangroves, Ignisentis (oneshot | 9,184 | T)
James Barnes loves to cosplay as Captain America, and not just because he's damn good at it, either. No, it's the feeling he gets when he puts on the suit, the light in people's eyes when they see him, the thrill of getting the details just right. It also helped him feel connected to New York after he moved back there for work. Well, cosplay and his landlord,Clint. So when Bucky gets an invitation to his dream cosplay event, hosted by none other than Tony Stark and judged by the Avengers themselves, he knows he has to pull out all the stops and make a new Cap cosplay: the elusive Stealth Suit. Clint turns out to be surprisingly resourceful in that endeavor, and Bucky's more than pleased with how his cosplay turns out. As the day of the event dawns, he can only hope that Steve Rogers feels the same way.
A Vision of Ecstasy by a_splash_of_stucky (oneshot | 2,664 | E)
Sometimes, sex should just be had for the sake of exploration.
Smile by TheLocket (oneshot | 8,463 | M)
When an official Captain America press event runs over, the whole crew gets stuck in Cincinnati overnight. With only a few rooms left at the hotel, Bucky offers to bunk with Steve—how bad could it be? But he forgot how awful Steve can be as a roommate. He has no personal space. He never wears clothes. And, even worse, he smells really good.
Bucky is in for a rough night.
the blood is the life by obsessivereader (oneshot | 3,357 | M)
He can smell them when Bucky comes back to the apartment late at night. Different men, their colognes wafting off him as he lets himself in and walks past the living room where Steve’s always waiting. It may not be every night, but it’s at least two, or sometimes even three, times a week.
Tonight is no different. Bucky keeps his head down as he walks past. He goes straight into his room and closes the door behind him with a finality that means Bucky won’t be emerging till morning. The sound of the shower starts up not two minutes later.
Steve sits alone in the living room, the scent of cologne hanging in the air like an interloper in the apartment. He can’t help thinking Why not me.
weary of war by endofadream (oneshot | 3,190 | E)
Bucky’s fingers slip.
This time, he manages to scream the name: “Steve!”
You Could Be Mine by lambchop33 (complete | 33,818 | E)
Bucky Barnes never sees it coming when his buddy, Sam Wilson brings his buddy, Captain America, to visit him while he's recuperating in a hospital after a car accident.
He never sees it coming when he finds out sexy, courageous, self-sacrificing Steve Rogers is also... lonely.
One more thing he doesn't see coming? That he could possibly be the one destined to become the friend, the lover that Steve has been searching for ever since he came out of the ice.
Or, the smutty Valentine's season AU no one asked for...
177 notes · View notes
vennilavee · 7 years ago
Text
the space between: part III
TSB masterlist TSB Extras: Drabbles/Headcanons/Music
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x poc Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes has been dead for a few years. You’re reminded of him and his love every time you look at your daughter, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Chapter Summary: You visit Bucky’s tombstone to talk to him.
Warnings: Character death, vague descriptions of post-partum depression, angst, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, smut
Word Count: 1827
A/N: I know nobody wants angst right after infinity war but like I had to lmao. Also sorry I’m trash for not updating anything else. enjoy/let me know what you think!
Coming to Bucky’s tombstone was cathartic for you. You tried to come once or twice a month. Bringing Mira with you was an idea you had toyed with, but ultimately decided against it. She hadn’t started asking questions about her daddy yet, and you didn’t want to tell her that you had absolutely no clue where he was. That you came to an empty grave to speak to his tombstone because you needed some form of release.
Sometimes when you come here, you think you can feel him around you. But that’s impossible, because even if something paranormal was going on, it wouldn’t make sense- there was no body in his grave.
You were deluding yourself into thinking that he could still hear you from beyond the grave. But you were desperate for him. You needed something to anchor yourself to sometimes.
Most of the time, it was Mira. It was Mira, Steve, Natasha, Sam, Tony… it was everyone who had made you feel a little less empty.
But sometimes… sometimes you just needed Bucky.
That’s how you found yourself sitting in front of his tombstone in the cemetery in the middle of Brooklyn. The wind picked up around you, swirling past you as if it was comforting you. Golden, red, brown, and orange leaves were spread across the ground around you. Some of them flew along with the wind, and you watched, wondering where they would end up.
Maybe the orange one would end up on the street. The red one stuck to a tree. The gold one might get stepped on.
You sighed, crossing your legs and clearing your throat. You tug your coat tighter around you, trying to gain some semblance of warmth but it doesn’t help, not really.
You still feel bone-chillingly frigid. The ice around your heart hasn’t melted and you’re not sure it ever will. It’s formed a home inside of you, creeping into your blood, and comforting your sadness. It’s become a part of you, the same way that Mira has, the same way that Bucky has.
But it exhausts you. It exhausts you in a way that no physical activity ever could. Your mind is tired, you are certain your bones have cracked from how tired you are. The dark circles under your eyes that not even concealer can properly hide are telling. But it’s not a fatigue that comes from needing sleep. It’s the fatigue that comes from being too worn out to do anything more than just exist.
When Mira was born, you could hardly look at her without feeling like you were being ripped apart, put back together, and then ripped apart over and over again. Her unknowing blue eyes that reminded you so much of Bucky left you sleepless for so many nights.
Mira deserved better than you. Mira deserved better than a mother who was barely there. Who existed only in the sense of the word. Who was terrified of being a mother, who wasn’t even sure she wanted to be a mother. Mira sucked all the air out of your lungs every time you saw her tiny, brown face. You were all alone with a baby who you couldn’t stand to look without feeling like you had let her down.
But you weren’t alone, were you? No, absolutely not.
You smile at the memory of Steve trying to help you when you first had Mira-
“She won’t stop crying, Steve,” You sob into the phone, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make her stop. I’m terrible, I’m the worst- I’m the worst with kids. I can’t do this-”
“Okay, listen. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Steve tries to soothe you but you just start crying even harder. He winces at the sounds of Mira wailing coupled with your own sobs. The sounds go straight to his heart, scratching at him.
Steve stays on the phone with you, calming you down as you try to rock Mira to get her to calm down. You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re in way over your head, you’re not meant for this-
Bucky was always better with kids than you were. The topic of kids had come up a few times with the two of you. He never pressured you into anything, but you knew he was hopeful that you would come around from hesitancy.
You wanted kids. Not now, but someday. Someday far, far into the future. Far enough into the future that you could worry about it later.
It was almost poetic that you had found out you were pregnant only three weeks after Bucky was declared dead. You had actually laughed, unable to process absolutely anything, when your doctor told you that you were pregnant. She had taken your laugh for joy and beamed at you. But you were screaming inside and you wanted to jump out of your skin.
You weren’t even sure if you wanted this baby. For a few days, you had refused to think about it. Until Steve forced it out of you. And he had already known what you were thinking before you even said anything.
“I think I’m going to be a terrible mother,” You confessed, “This was always Bucky’s thing.”
“We’ll help you,” Steve promised, “If you decide to have this baby. We’ll help you, you know that.”
“I don’t know the first thing about how to be a mother,” You whispered, “But… but this baby… it’s the only thing left of Bucky. And maybe that’s not a solid reason for me to keep the baby. But… I want to keep him or her. I want to.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Steve reassured you, “We’ll figure it out.”
When Steve finally comes over, he checks Mira’s diaper and asks you when she last ate. Mira immediately quiets down once Steve is rocking her and she stares intently at him.
You’re inadequate. You can’t even comfort your own baby. Steve notices you get lost in your head and tugs your hand towards him.
“Hey,” He murmurs, “Come on. I told you, we’ll figure this out. I think she just wanted to be held.”
“Yeah. Maybe I was rocking her too fast?” You ask, leaning your head against his shoulder and poking Mira’s cheek with your index finger.
“Maybe.”
You laugh at the memory, remembering how clueless and scared you were. You were a pro now, with Mira. You think Bucky would be proud of you. To see the progress that you’ve made.
You remember the reason why you came to Bucky’s tombstone.
“Hey,” You say, placing the bouquet of flowers you had gotten for him beside his stone, “I’ve been showing Mira pictures of you for a while now, remember? I still have all those pictures up around the apartment. I swear, she just starts looking like you more and more everyday. God, she’s just like you, Buck.
“So the other day, I was showing her pictures of you and she just pointed to you and said ‘Dada!’ and man, I haven’t cried like that in a long, long time. But it was a happy cry, I think. I just… she’s so fuckin’ smart, baby.
“She has a sweet tooth, just like you. I think I’ve told you that. She’s so good, baby. Mira is so good. She can just look at you and you’ll be putty in her hands. She’s such a good baby.
“I went on a date a few weeks ago,” You say, hesitantly. The wind begins to pick up a little and the sun is starting to set. You watch the colors gradually change in front of you. It’s absolutely maddening to you, that the sun still sets and rises when your world has turned itself inside out and combusted.
That’s time, though. It takes and takes, until you’re almost empty inside. But still, time gives too. Time is healing, to a certain extent. You want to believe that time heals all things, but it’s taken longer for you.
“It was so incredibly shitty. You know at some point we were talking about when he gets his lawn mowed? Like I don’t even know how the conversation steered in that direction.
“And then I realized… I didn’t care about really finding love ever again. I think you were it, baby. You were my great love story. You are my great love story. I’m pretty sure your smile was what powered both the sun and moon.  I just- I can’t-I don’t want anyone else.
“And I know… I know what you’d say. That I should move on, that I deserve to be happy. But I think I am happy. Some days are tough, but in a general sense, I think I’m okay.
“You… you deserved better,” You whisper, “You deserved so much more than the world gave you, baby. You deserved everything- you should be here, watching Mira grow up, you should be eating your damn pancakes, you should be going on your daily jogs with Steve. You deserve all of the light and sunshine this terrible world has to offer. And I’m… God, I miss you, James. I miss you.”
You don’t realize you’re crying until you feel an itch on your cheek. You laugh and say goodbye to his tombstone, knowing that nobody is listening.
The sun has almost fully set by now, but the streaks of burnt orange over the New York City skyline is comforting.
“I think she needs a new onesie, don’t you?” Tony asks, bouncing Mira in his lap, “Or maybe ten new onesies. Ten new Iron Man onesies.”
“Get me one of each of your costumes and you got yourself a deal,” You reply, leaning back on your couch and sipping your tea. Mira babbles at Tony with a toothy grin and pokes his facial hair. Her eyes light up when she sees the light of Tony’s arc reactor through his shirt.
Tony doesn’t answer, instead, he tickles Mira’s tummy until she’s howling in laughter.
Tony has a secret to tell you. He wants to tell you so bad, but he’s sworn to secrecy. You’ve asked him about five times why he’s been off. To anyone else, he would’ve looked like he was acting no different. But you know his tells- he’s constantly itching at his left eyebrow, his lips pursed together and he rings his hands together once in a while.
You’ve stopped asking, but you know something is up.
He wants to tell you that they think they’ve found Bucky. They aren’t entirely sure if it’s really him and he doesn’t want to get your hopes up just to shatter them.
You have come so far in the past few years and he can’t be the one to break you. Not again. So he keeps his mouth shut and babbles along with his honorary niece.
He doesn’t miss the way you’re quietly analyzing him, wondering why he’s being so damn strange.
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