#tom fucks other women for shits and giggles

[haveihitanerve]

We’re going down, down the sea lads. Hold onto your sheep!

The Lighthouse Commentary- (bc one of you lovelies suggested it :))

Sam’s face immediately starting strong because what XD

“... you cant close up a lighthouse.” Sam’s initial confusion. Oh brother this is gonna be fun…

Luke’s cackling off to the side as Tom grins

“I meant for me.” Quick save AJ, nicely done, very good

“Its quite late.” “it is really late!” Aj sounds ready to genuinely cry, i feel like this was performed at a really late time in real life and AJ wants to go to bed lol 

“Maybe this job isn't for yoUUU!” idk but i like the way he said it- also still feel like they’re referencing the comedy show/real life and not the characters in the play- idk why i feel like this but something about their speaking patterns lmao

“This job is for me!” >:( 

“Lighthouse-man.” “li-lighthouse-man?” “yeah. yeah.” Thats right Aj- stand your ground!

“Im doing this on internship-” “you're doing an internship-” glad you both got to say it boys, really solidified the internship bit, nice

“I've never seen a woman. I don't- what's that?” AJ making everything more drastic and chaotic, perfect, that's what i like to see XD

And breaking Sam along with it, beautiful

“The LIGHT!” reaches for it- ok aj, commit, nice :D

The eyes rolling allllll the way into the back of his head is totally not terrifying-

“The light is great. The light keeps sheeps- ships-sheets-” AJ breaking fully as he explodes a laugh but trying to maintain character at the same time is hilarious he looks like he's shitting XD

“There's nothing like the light of a woman's laughter.” damn sam. That's poetic. If my future partner don't say that i don't want ‘em

Tom’s little sheep mehhrrr is beautiful

“A rumspringa.” Sam purposefully using words he knows AJ doesn't know what they mean- asshole XD

“You know the amish.” “...yeees?” “.Go on.” Sam you menace XD

AJ throwing a glance at Tom for help

“Why are you telling ME to go on? You brought it up!” Fair point, very fair point, Sam’s just being mean lmaoo

Ok AJ does not, in fact, know who Amish are, but its fine, after a quick little giggle break Sam is incorporating a family called Amish into the story, so its fine XD

“Going down… down the sea.” I appreciate his commitment i gotta be honest

“Do- do you mean South?” They just cant let AJ have anything can they? Lol

“Do you know what happened?” Sam: “...i think i can guess” LMAOOO

“Through the smoke..” “the smoke?!?!?” Sam is genuinely concerned lol. “Through the smoke, cause there was fire on the ship.” “oh shit!” Sam did not see that coming XD

“Through the- it was really bad!” Now aj feels the need to explain his story, wonderful 

Luke giving flashback noises, and AJ just repeating them??? Brilliant teamwork boys, 10/10 lol

Tom, of course, cant be excluded: keep going DOWN lads!!! Keep going DOWN the sea!!!

Luke and Tom have casually taken over the scene now XD

“By the way- by “down the sea” do you mean south???” They just really cant let Aj live!!!! Lmaooo

“My brother passed away.” oh my gods Aj what kind of lore are you giving yourself????

‘“MY SON! MY ONLY SON!” Luke, no no, Aj is still alive- “APART FROM MY OTHER SON!” There you go, now Aj keeps going- “WHO I DON'T RESPECT AT ALL!!!” now that just seems unnecessary - XD

“THE CONSTANT DISAPPOINTMENT!” Oh luke is still going, oka- “I BET HE’D RATHER BE ON FUCKING LAND!!” Luke!!! Let him finish his traumatic backstory about why he wants to be a lighthouse keeper!!!! Come on!!! XD

“So I don't care- bout how fucking great women are!” the smile as he says it because ohhh noo thats not how he meant that to come across at all lmaooo XD

“Im just saying… give it a go.” And that was too much for AJ and we get another quick laugh, beautiful 

Sam casually stealing the chair luke was going to sit on to force him to grab another one lol

“Oh the sheep aren't shitting like they used to.” I love how unwilling they are to let a single mistake go, its absolutely fantastic lol! Also Sam’s sheep impression is spot on

“Daughter.” “oh!” Tom was not expecting that to be his role, but ok then :) 

“Like someones- shutting the curtains randomly!” Side eyes AJ hard 

[sheep panic]

[sheep straining] love how sams automatic reaction is to just do the opposite of what luke said lol

“The sheep are just too inbred.” Sam:... *wait a fucking minute*..? He took that personally lmaooo

“That ones got a mostly bald face.” Luke: *looks at Aj* Sam: *also looks around* Tom: no you you fucking idiots-

[sheep baas] fuck you -sam really did take it personally, but then again, Tom also made it personal XD

“The easen- eastern portion.” “the easen-eastern portion yeah.” Tom XD

“Look at this sheep holding another sheep!” Tom, i just don't think thats what his stagecraft is lol

Sam: *contemplating how to do this*... wasn't what i was going for, but…

Luke's explosion of laughter and the way Tom made direct eye contact with Sam when he said it lol

“Oh no my eyes betray me!” *waits expectantly for a clue as to wtf sam is holding*

“The quality of the wooool is poor.” He really needed to emphasize that word lol.

“Fuck you.” are those the only words this sheep can say???XD

“Going under? You mean its going- “down the sea”??” Tom really missed not being a part of the first scene i think…

“South you might say.” But only might! ;)

“Maybe we could send the sheep?” Tom sounds genuinely surprised that he himself suggested it

“I would be up for, sending the sheep *starts giggling* to be the main character!” *sam preparing himself, fastening up a tie and grabbing his briefcase* “of this story!” i love how both Tom and Sam are fashioning it in a way as though they are asking Luke for permission to do it XD

“Are you sure? Cause i was throwing it out there but..” of course now you backpedal Tom- make it his fault if the plot fails XD- smarttttt

“Why don't we go together?” “ahh fuck.” Sam really hates this storyline lmaooo

“You know i've never seen a man!” Sam’s absolutely done with all of them lmaoooooo

SAM! For legal reasons i will not be transcribing the action he did, but i shall give you the captions- [;)]

“They want one☝️thing!” “And whats that?” “se-ee-ex.” Luke’s disappointed turn around to look at Sam while he barely holds it together XD

“Well where are they gonna get that???” Tom, you beautiful beautiful child, his only purpose right now is to piss off the other three and i adore that for him

HES LITERALLY GIGGLING- this man is too cute omg-

Sam: *in sheep gesticulation* please just send me, i don't care that i have to play two characters in one scene, and that one of them is a sheep, tom is out of his fucking mind, please luke you know its smart- 

Or at least thats what i got from it

Luke’s little giggle and pat of Sam’s arm when Aj cuts their scene 🤧 so cute-

“Whats it like up there?” “Sorry?” *gets terrifyingly close* “whats. It. like. Up. there.” Aj looks disgusted and mildly put off but not totally concerned and i love that for their friendship :) 

“Its fucking dark though.” Luke is bamboozled. “Oh its fuck- you think its fucking dark up there??? With a great big fucking light?!?!” he slipped accents there for a sec and went into distraught Luke lol (i don't think aj knows how a lighthouse works, or what it even is, and if the boys knew that then they are evil and brilliant, and if they didn't then its still amusing as hell XD)

“Shining *starts laughing as AJ also breaks* in your eyes???” AJ is struggling to get the story right lol. “Do you have any idea what you do for a job???” I think Luke is genuinely curious lmaoo

Sam now having to step in because AJ has confused him too much so he has to clarify it too XD they're such idiots and i adore it

Tom joining the scene because he feels left out- classic

“Ill settle this honey-” oh sam 🫣

“NO IT WAS-” “AAAEEHHUUHUHAA!” Mocking each other like proper siblings XD this is the best thing ever

“I just wanted some fresh air :(“ leave him alone sam! “In the basement.” ofc the last jabbed parting words XD

AJ’s annoyed grin. “Alright- fucking- im outside now!” LMAOOOO

“Will you stop standing with your hooves on your hips?” Sam: *casually strikes a pose and baas annoyingly with a grin because he knows itll piss Tom off more* XD

Again, for legal reasons, not going to transcribe that 😑

“Excuse me-?” “oh!” Tom’s little gasp that makes Luke have to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop laughing. Gorgeous boys 

“Its a man..” The quiet awe- tom you're brilliant omg never change

“What the fuck are you?” YESS!!!! Both sides XD this is the best thing in my life 

“You're- you're a woman.” even tom cant stop his grin- they are such cuties omfg-

“Supposed to be a man are you?” Sam, never one to let an insult aimed at AJ go unnoticed: [baaa] nice ✋

“Thats right im a lighthouse keeper.” “[baa] what?” Sam cocking his head because wow Aj you just casually stole his job and lied to the first woman you've ever met. Tsk tsk

“Whats your name?” “poppy.” ok aj you're off the hook because now Sam is looking at Tom judgmentally lmaooo

“Oh its cause your sisters called poppy oh alright.” ….. Excuse me for one second. *leaves to go scream into the void* im back….. They just FUCKING- KNOW?>?????? THE NAME OF HIS SIST- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *im gonna go die of cuteness for one sec gimme a moment* idk why but the subtle reminders they are friends and actually know each other kill me. Anyway carry on-

Luke loosing it as Tom connects the dots and Tom motioning the “gears turning” to AJ to try and get him to get it too XD

(Atp they've just abandoned the “yes, and?” joke and started a “aj said one thing wrong once and now we’re gonna make this entire play all about it” and honestly, im here for it)

Also atp they're just competing to see who can make Sam stay in the scene and stand the longest and who can annoy the others the most and i am even more here for that lol

“My dad named me after the sheep.” the way Sam’s tongue is in his cheek as he watches Tom incorporate it into the story and his slow turn away

“Shes an old sheep now.” Sams eyebrows shoot into his hairline

“My names Clint.” “Clint?” Tom’s eyebrows are also in his hairline. “Are you sure?” (psst, Master Ybobb! Its bobby)

Tom treating Sam’s [baaing] as the translator game and just going off the rails lmaoo

“But the lights inside the curtain.” and thats too much for Sam- the way he leans against Tom for emotional support is so cute- 😭💗

Sam is soooo close to ripping his hair out, Tom is thoroughly enjoying whatever the hell i going on, and Luke is just laughing at them all

“Are all men this stupid?” Sam’s head bob as he points to Aj- help😭 hes trying his best guys! (seriously tho, what does Aj think a lighthouse is?)

“Are all women like you?” AJ had to come up with something didn't he lol

“Im just trying to be a good lighthouse keeper and im new at it!” poor baby. “Well you're clearly not.” ooooooohhhhhh. Damn tom. Ruthless

“My sheep will deal with you.” Smart Tom, very smart

AJ just casually stemming his hand against Sam’s forehead XD

“One.. two… three.” Sam, baby i just don't think hes gonna pick up on that 😭

“Im not sure whats happening.” yeah…

“Oh please know what this is.” Sam sounds genuinely distressed, poor guy😭😂

More cocaine, poor sam 

Sam and Tom are done with him 😭

“I've just got this bitch here-” AJ thoroughly enjoyed caling Tom that lol XD

“You cheeky fuck.” Aj though he could sit down lol

“Its nice to have a female presence in the lighthouse.” “thank you.” Turns judgmentally to Aj

“Your intern? Your INTERN, is it?” wow Tom, not holding back at all, very nice XD

[one more!] audience member i love you- especially because its funny but also because it made luke laugh lol

“Someones right on the rule of three :D” *seems genuinely overjoyed at this fact* “don't give it to em” “I wont!” oh come on guys!! “Make them wait for it!” thank you sam “Ill make them wait- THE INTERN!” diva turn and he gave us what we wanted, perfection

Ajs grin when it happens too, Sam might be suffering, but the other three are thoroughly enjoying this lol

“By the way whats his name?” “clint.” oh no sam not you too!

“Clint.” Tom sounds so judgy 😭

Sam: they say his father was a sea-men Tom: *eyebrows shoot up, then back down* thats how all little boys are made, aye

TOM!!! XD

“Sorry who- who offered you any part of it? I DIDN'T OFFER YOU ANY PART OF IT!” gorgeous work tom, flawless

“But he never talks about his mum.” guys, its almost the end of the play, why are we adding more plot???

“It seems like you want to give me some sort of backstory.” some people might call this meta, but if i were having a convo with a dude and they said this line, i would also think they want to give me backstory lol

“The light!” “the curtains!” at least they picked up on both stagecrafts. “Why would that make any difference?” “why both-?” “why both?” “why not just one of those things- *starts laughing*” they really cant let aj rest at all can they?? Lol

“Now the light isn't getting in from the outside!” Tom’s spin, now hes starting to get a little done with AJ just like Sam lol! “Oh! If only the curtains were open, this lightbulb would be giving light!” poor AJ 😭😂

“-head like a fucking egg-” fully breaks character and shatters the fourth wall XD

“Hey you! You bald fucker!” Sam: *gasps as though he hasn't just said the literal exact thing only slightly less bluntly* :0

“Yes? Can i help you?” Luke annoyed now too, glorious XD

“Grant i don't need you, fuck off grant.” “i feel like we've bullied him a lot today.” you don't say XD Lukes helpless shrug. “I know but hes pissed me off!” I love the way Aj just stays out of frame lol- hes not getting involved until he has to 

“You called me a bald fucker.” AJ’s strut onto the stage is iconic “i've got a whole head of hair in this scene you little twat.” Luke and Aj both laughing at each other- cuties. 

“Hey!” now Tom joins, because the scene wasn't chaotic enough. “What are you calling this 6’5 muscular powerhouse a little twat for?!?!” XD i cant anymore-

“Im gonna leave again!” you do that King

[sheep running off a cliff]

[sheep landing SPECTACULARLY]

“The one who gets made fun of. *brilliant mocking of Sam follows, beautiful*” theyre such siblings your honor its wonderful

“Stupid egg!” Sam’s cackle off stage is amazing

“What do you mean they make fun of you?” AJ’s grin as he circles luke- luke you literally started the scene with “you bald fucker!” like come on, XD

“James, the lighthouse keeper. And this new *starts laughing* bitch woman that i just met!” 

“I hope you're not talking about my daughter!?!?” “Was she tall?” “Aye.” “like freakishly tall-” trying desperately to level the playing field XD help aj- 

“Aye, like me! 6’5!” Luke really enjoyed Tom’s addition didn't he lol

“Weirdly tall.” “yeah yeah yeah, weirdly tall yeah. HUGE adams apple.” oh so now theyre teaming up on tom, i see, i see- theyre such fucking siblings dude XD

*laughing at their skilled insults together*

“My mother was wonderful.” “...okay.” yeah Luke, just smile and nod, good plan, who knows what to answer to that in these situations because i sure don't

“It seems like you wanna give us some sort of backstory…” sneaky sam, sneaky sneaky…

*exits while baaaing* AJ: *no no, we cant let this go* no you come here *the finger flick he does- help* Luke: *because he is a gremlin agent of chaos* no no you come here,

Poor sam doesn't get a break from a single scene 😭 thats what he gets for trying to be a cheeky sneaky little shit tho lmaooo

“She said “go.” *makes direct eye contact* “go down the sea.” yes AJ!!! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!!!

Sam singing quietly in the background, not sure what hes singing but its great, adds ambiance

“Anyway what’d you want?” *forgets what scene hes in* “Im having a stroke over here.” luke please help him out XD

“It was my wife.” *dramatic gasp* Sam: *obliterates the fourth wall as a sheep* what a twist

“Good thing he didn't fuck your daughter.” Sam go back to being a sheep and baaing please-

AJ’s small smile as he appreciates Sam’s joke

“I wish this sheep would run off a fucking cliff.” getting his anger out for all the jokes XD

LUke laughing- with the tongue in his cheek- ahh hes so cute

Sam just flipping Aj off and making him laugh before finally getting to leave a scene XD

“Mario come back!” Tom having drag Sam from the chair because fucks sake he just got to sit down- but nope! Hes gotta be in every scene lmaoooo

“You're gonna be here til the bitter end.” Sam’s head hang of sadness as Tom breaks the fourth wall lol

“Father, have i missed some plot details?” I fear you might've poppy. Also sam rubbing his nose as an aside to pretend seeking cocaine again, brilliant

“I saw you die that day.” “no- no” “no-” “oh gods.” they're all so disappointed its wonderful XD

“Ill use all my human bits okay?” So the inbred joke did grant some uses didn't it Sam?

“Whats wrong with your sheep?” AJ taking joy in pointing out their mistakes now lol

“We gotta finish this show in five minutes-” Sam is done lmaoooo

“Im getting madness from the lighthouse-” The way sam pauses his struggle to actually laugh at that and grabs AJ’s waist, idk why i guess he just needed to hold onto someone to keep from falling apart at the seams-

“I am a sheep. *deep inhale* I’m gonna do some cocaine.” i think that was just sam and not sheep sam… XD

Sam: *finally gets to sit down* “You are my half son-” Sam: *fuck* no- no- no -NO

“You- nothing- NOTHING!” real sam coming out again… lmaooo

“So you, you're my cousin!” Tom fully understood what was happening, he was the only one who remembered bobby’s name- he was just being a litte shit and i fully believe that- AJ’s grin reveals he knows it too- fuckng hell- and Luke’s little jump as he screams “NO!” is adorable

AJ and Tom grinning at each other like dorks while Sam loses it and Luke tries to separate them

“WILL YOU-” AJ and Tom making eye contact and nodding, because hell yeah this bit’ll get ‘em goooood “MARRY ME?!?!” 

Sam explodes, Luke finally decides to end the chaos, and Tom and AJ are thoroughly enjoying themselves

Tom’s little backrub for Sam at the end… awwww

And luke’s consoling pat as AJ just grins and Sam tries not to murder them all XD

@flamingbluepanda @snek-of-eden @dawn-speckled

Sooooo an alternate title for the video could just be “Four Best Friends Competing to Piss Each Other Off The Most” but, y'know, i like The Lighthouse too. 

Anyway this was one of the most chaotic, belly aching, cheeks hurting play of theirs i have seen up to date and i loved every minute of it. AJ was just adding more plot and plotholes, Tom’s only goal was to antagonize everyone who stepped into his line of vision, (specifically Sam), Luke was somewhat trying to follow the plot but mainly just going for insults and gremlin activities, and Sam was losing his mind. :) beautiful. 10/10. 

(also, the way that this is one of the only plays where they forget to say “and hopefully an end” is kinda ironic lmaoo)

anyway hope you enjoyed it as much as i did :)

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO! the tommyinnit 101. technically this isn't really tied to an smp though.

so first we must start at the very beginning. the dream smp. in late 2020-early 2021, the dream smp was at the height of its popularity, and tommyinnit played one of its most prominent characters (tommy, henceforth referred to as c!tommy). now the thing about c!tommy is that both he and cc!tommy (idk if i've talked about the c! vs cc! divide before but that is its own 101) were under 18 at the time, and therefore if you shipped his character with anyone about 70% of the fandom would tear you apart.

honestly dsmp isn't too relevant here, though, except to introduce tommy and tubbo. you see, in a world of straight men using their little block guys to flirt with one another, tommy was Very vocal about loving women. being Straight was part of his Bit in the same way that being Annoying and playing the able sisters music from animal crossing was.

anyways in late 2022 he uploaded a vlog of him and tubbo getting married, tubbo mostly against his will. they pulled out all the stops- got an ordained minister (their friend scott, who you may recognize from the life series 101s) to do a little ceremony, had a lot of their friends acting as different members of the wedding party, even signed and filed real paperwork!

yep. that's right. they signed legal fucking paperwork. i've heard that tubbo didn't even know it was a marriage certificate, he thought it was a waiver for being in the video or smth. that's right, known straight man tommyinnit tricked his best friend into getting Real Life Legally Married to him, presumably just for shits and giggles.

This fact went unnoticed until mid-late 2023. tubbo was playing on the QSMP with some other people (i know FitMC, not sure who else), and was joking about going to Vegas and getting married to Fit. and then tubbo realized he was still married to tommy.

also, around that time, tommy wrote and published (to wattpad) a rpf crack fic called Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle, where tommy leaves his Real Life Girlfriend molly for tubbo (molly dies directly afterwards because it was so romantic) and then he and tubbo kiss without tongue. tubbo was not consulted during the production of this fanfiction.

after learning about the marriage, tubbo started working to get a Real Life Divorce from his Real Life Friend Tom. tommy refused to sign the paperwork. if any of this ever goes to court tubbo fully intends to livestream the whole thing.

around 2 months ago, tommy did a parody of "I'm Just Ken" called "I'm Just Tom," in which he begs tubbo not to divorce him. it must be seen to be believed. idk if the link will work in an ask but i need you to see it https://youtu.be/laAPXcxjDlI?si=wPQM3ZJHBIv11Cfr

also if you're wondering how molly, tommy's Real Life Girlfriend, feels about all of this? she thinks it's hilarious. for the past month or two-ish (?), tommy's been doing a stand-up comedy tour in america (because they are all british), and at the same time tubbo's been doing a subathon (aka tubbathon bc it's tubbo) (a subathon is a twitch stream with a timer on it. the stream ends when the timer finishes out, and whenever someone subscribes to the streamer's channel more time is added) (the tubbathon is still going btw and isn't slowing down anytime soon). at one point molly came onto the tubbathon, and tubbo bought her a new phone bc hers was shit. (directly afterwards tommy posted a vlog about it, saying he felt like he was being cucked by his gay husband)

fans have dubbed these three the nightmare polycule, and it's not hard to see why.

and then, finally, this morning (last night in england time), tommy and tubbo were on a phone call. tubbo (gay) encouraged tommy to "say the f slur!" and tommy said, and i quote, "I'm bicurious, so I guess I could say like a fifth of it. [Tochat] Hear that, ya -ggots?"

i needed to tell you all of this so that you would understand the full insanity of all of this. there are some bits that don't really translate unless you were a dsmp fan in the 2020-2021 era, but i need you to see the ongoing insanity this man creates. he had been planning to use that joke for his live comedy show

ok uh

wow

i some pointers on his singing voice (a bit too belty there, that'll damage the throat later, some vowels need rounding)

hilarious that he rhymed Tom with arm

reading this was like a fever dream

molly is me tbh this is the most hilarious drama i have ever read

his comedic timing is beautiful

what the fuck

[andersonpress]

MY POLICEMAN IS THE TWINK LOVE STORY NO ONE ASKED FOR…

Nov 22, 2022

It’s like Bareback Mountain but without the gay sexual awakening. 

With that being said, this movie is Y’ALL fault. The begging for Harry Styles to act gay in public has produced this annoying ass movie. Harry Styles’ agent said that these accusations with Oliva and Don’t Worry Darling are bringing down the gay vote and he needs to do something to bring us back. Are y’all fucking happy now? Now we have a tired ass twink love story with obvious plot twists that Amazon is going to use when tweeting “Pride happens all year round here.” 

Now I won’t lie - I saw the handjob scene on Twitter and immediately ran to watch the movie. I mean take a look at my PornHub history and that’s really not a shocker…but the lackluster sex, blatant gay behavior, and poor attempts to even try to like not be gay in public was just too much. While Bareback Mountain had me anticipating the next secret meet-up everytime Harry and David relink up I was two seconds from calling the police myDAMNself. This movie drove me deeper into homophobia while also becoming my canonical movie for twinkdom. No White party in Ibiza or Tiger Island compares to this twink ass movie. So let’s get into it. 

The Overall Plot 

So there are three main characters - Tom, Patrick, and Marion. Tom is a policeman who falls in love with Marion, a schoolteacher but begins a passionate love affair with Patrick, a museum curator. The movie starts in the future as Tom and Marion take Patrick into their home as he reaches the end of his life. Tom is apprehensive about this and refuses to interact with Patrick shit even refuses to talk to him leaving Marion to act as his nurse. Patrick offers Marion his diary to give some context into what’s happened in his life that lead him back to them. As Marion cares for the ailing Patrick day-to-day she reads his diary incessantly to learn more and more about Patrick and as she soon learns, her own husband. The movie then illustrates the past - and shows us how we got here. Tom was already courting Marion by the time he met Patrick but that didn’t stop Tom from pursuing Patrick romantically. They makeout in secret, hold hands when no one is looking, and obviously have gay sex in any place they can find. Marion sees their relationship as oddly close as Patrick seems to tag along on everything they do but doesn’t suspect any gay activity for a few months. Word starts to go around that Patrick may be a homosexual which is illegal. Marion fears she will lose Tom to Patrick’s bussy so she does the most violent thing white women do - called the cops. Patrick is taken to the looney bin and she gets to live a lifeless marriage with her gay husband who hates her for like 50 years. Then Tom’s old sick ass pops up at the house and after getting some context Marion is like ‘bro we don’t like each other let’s just cut ties and you need to go fuck him cause you love him and he’s like exxxtra sad.” She leaves and the two oldies hold hands and cry. 

The Twinkery of It All 

Throughout the movie we are bombarded with super twink activity. Thin white men rubbing on each other and holding hands and shit but it also gives Brazzers? The sex scenes seem to be the center of this movie - as the twinks would have it no other way. But you can find better dialogue and action on the front page of PornHub. You can tell they are trying to satisfy all the folks wanting to see Harry Styles involved in explicitly gay acts. And once the post nut clarity hits - you close the computer or in this case change over to the Lego Movie. Now I love gay ass love regardless if it’s twinky or not. I love the initial hesitation of trying to figure out if someone is gay and then if they are gay for you. The awkwardness of trying to figure out PDA, the giggles that you let out when you snuggle up on one another for the first time, and especially the dates that are supposed to last hours but last for days on end. I wanted to leave this movie feeling thankful for being gay. I wanted to cry at the conditions older queers were subject to. Instead I was driven deeper into my internalized homophobia. I watched this movie with two other gay people and we legit fell asleep halfway through. The shots were semi beautiful and semi boring but overall it just felt very unrealistic. Only gay white people could be this forward with being gay while it’s illegal and not be hung in the village square. When I think of a movie like Moonlight I see that awkwardness, that intimacy, that closeness - it feels real. I wanted to cry I guess. And not from embarrassment. 

Marion is Definitely a Bitch

They try to depict the wife as this forgotten about woman determined to not lose her family to the wickedness of homosexual activity. However, she just seems like a bitch. You get back at your husband and his lover by…sentencing them to a life in prison? Then when your husband’s lover is about to die you care for him for like a month? Marion what the fuck is that? You realize this man has no love for you after being stuck in a loveless marriage with you…and then you just leave? There is this scene where she confides in her friend about her frustration just for her friend to be like…girl I’m a faggot. She was gagged!! Marion you are in kahoots with every fag in town girl maybe look inwards. Like her gaydar can’t be that bad. She’s the heart of this story for whatever reason. She’s the reason that these two twinks couldn’t be together and she can’t even tell anyone this until 50 years after the fact as she’s leaving the house. She’s annoying as hell and a weak ass bitch. Just be a beard and sleep around like everyone else girl. 

Just Watch Brokeback Girl or Moonlight or Porn

I mean…don’t watch this. Especially if you’re gay. I’ll probably watch this again out of hate or if I’m super drunk. Maybe. 

[buglyknight]

611) pantry goblin

ok now im a small goblin in a pantry

tech support mom and dad above me

"why are women so.. "

I stare at your name

"beautiful" I say.

"y'know what i mean?"

my smile leaps from my skin

three seconds later

"nevermind. women are so stupid."

Rebecca chimes in

she's looking at tik toks i guess of food

the way she says caramel.. something or other sounded cute

and comfy

anyway

she chimes in-

awww

listen, you got to be on top for a second

now we're back to baseline

women are dumb!!!!

women are stupid!!!!

tech support parents bicker and then

okay check this folder

make sure this matches this .dll file

me, a grape, a small pantry goblin

stares at pathfinder rules tom is looking at

while they look at files

i keep asking

'do you guys think i can make it to the fridge and back?

i can probably make it to the fridge and back.

do you think i could get water and make it back?

fuck im out of water every minute i wait its going to get harder

i should have got the water earlier!

do you think i can make it?'

right now, I'm doubting it

every once in a while tom will

pass a note in class over to me

okay but look at this rule

yeah i can fucking try but do you see what the words on your screen are doing?

anyone else blasting through serotonin right now?

fuck

yeah, whatever, it works like that

okay now you're a sorcerer with a wizard fucking spellbook?

just play a wizard, but alright..

i guess it makes sense

yeah i can barely read any of this

okay so that matches, ch ch ch, let's go back a folder and check documents, oh where's your game saved? can we go to the game directory, okay back a folder. No. three up. No, back where you were"

Austin is doing a great job

Grant is just.. this poor guy

i look over at what they're doing

BIG MISTAKE

too many letters and they're so small

go back to Tom it's comfy here

And I'm listening and feeling like I'm in a small pantry

smiling and staring at your name

what season of tech support anime is this?

how many arcs do we have to go through?

im so invested in this storyline are my friends

going to be able to play elden ring randomized mod together

is elden ring seamless coop folder going to get a happy ending?

this feels anything but seamless

i giggle in fits as i hear them talk about where to put things

gods i really hope this season is better

the classic fatalerror.dll twist! who could have seen it coming

cant wait for next season

please! it's been a thousand episodes! i need to know the ending!

okay, jacob but look at

bro whyyy did you wait till i took three tabs of acid before

you wanted to make this character!!!!

okay i can try to read but your letters keep dancing dude

sorry, i know but okay look at recognize spell and then quick recognition, isn't this one just better.. so why would i..?

idk man, oh it's a prerequisite! solved. easy, keep these easy ones coming

okay get all this wizard shit out of heeeeeeere get rid of it! it's getting in the way

okay now read magical shorthand

bro anything but magical shorthand i can't

it's so many leterrrrrs

okay but now that im basically a wizard this should work, right?

oh. yeah!

finally

oh my god

anything but magical shorthand again

he really wanted that to work

it just has like.. words in it

so your folder looks the same as mine.. maybe it's the crash text logs or something, that'd be STUPID but maybe??

okay it's still not launching

okay i know youre going to hate this but, we might just want to start from scratch

okay.. Grant i think starting from season 1 is probably best this story is way too convoluted

oh my god it's finally launching!

and i think they gave up they couldnt get it to work together

the seeds weren't working

but they should have been

i got up to go to the fridge but i

didn't make it back

Tom was in here till 4am clicking through things but

at least Austin could play

i had to go sit on the bed

why was your name doing that

with all its beautiful letters?

i couldnt keep my smile contained

i tried to catch it

but it kept leaping out of my face

[bitchlessbillie]

Im not sure why i named this post "and then i woke up" as that has nothing to do with what im gonna be talking about probably, although i cant say that with complete certainty bs i also dont have a plan for what ill be talking about... Warning, if youre a fan of star vs. The forces of evil, or the amazing world of gumball, this post does contain spoilers. Im gonna start by saying that i rlly rlly like that tom and marco become friends in star vs. The forces of evil, i think thats rlly cool and sweet, #bestfriends <3 But i hate that star and marco end up dating. I find it a little annoying that shows always have to make friends who are the opposite gender date. Like marco had jackie, star had tom, but noooo, they just had to end up tg bc... i dunno. Theyre a boy and a girl who are best friends, and i guess thats just not possible? I know it was hinted at throughout the entire show, its not like its new, but like... the trope just bothers me. I feel like TV tends to contribute to our views on the world, especially at a young age, and its things like that that make it seem like boys and girls cant be just friends? Ik i dont need to read into it this much, but im going to anyway. Get over it. I mean bc tv seems to portray men and women as if theyre completely different species, and parents who ask you "are you guys dating?" Or "do you have a crush on them?" Whenever you refer to a friend whos the opposite gender do not help shit. I mean idk i have a very rigid opinion on gender norms, but like... girls arent always nail painting, giggling, boy crazy, two dimensional caracatures, and guys arent always rough housing, farting, lying about the women theyve fingered idiots. At least they dont have to be. But painting them that way only furthers the devide between men and women, and between the self and expectations, and between reality vs. Perception. Like bc i personally have no fucking idea what other genders do in their free time so i always picture whatever ive seen on tv? But maybe thats just a me thing.

Part two coming in a minute

[bisluthq]

I do believe Taylor isn’t hung up on any exes, for sure. But as any woman, they tend to reflect back, and I am sure she has peeked at her ex’s pics. I think it’s less with time, but it’s still done. Taylor herself, said she revisited old relationships, in her writings. That is why I do believe she peeked at Joe’s fan account, because maybe it was an event pic? I do believe Tom peeked at Taylor’s once. It doesn’t mean anyone is pining for someone. It’s really normal behavior.

I think literally everyone - girls and boys alike - keep tabs on their exes. Maybe not flings but fwiw when I do see past flings pop up on socials, I tend to click and look what's going down also but maybe I'm especially nosy idk. I feel like it's ridiculously normal. It'd be way weirder never ever to think of that person again, like that's some sociopath shit right there I think. Also I feel like sometimes we look up exes like for shits and giggles (I do do that) but also sometimes they sorta just appear lmao like in other friends' pics or in the algorithm and stuff? And for me personally when they sorta appear is when I do sometimes get a bit 'the 1' about them for half a minute lmao. Not because I logically want them back, for I do not, like they're my exes for very good and sensible reasons, but idk when I see them getting married or having kids, I often do go "what if that had been me?" and do like a thought experiment on that for a bit. I also find it inordinately amusing that my two main exes are NOT married and do not have kids and in a way that also makes me go like "well we actually clearly had the fundamentals in place, didn't we, so why didn't we work out??" and like I know why lol. I fully know why. But sometimes I do think about it.

My bf has exes that predate socials because he's Gen X and he's purposefully looked a few up - we've actually looked them up together - just to see what they're up to and stuff. I think mostly with me he's looked up the ones who look a bit like me with me which I find flattering lol but also like idk I do think he wonders like what if it had worked out with some of those girls? Which is a fair thought experiment. Idk that he wonders that about his ex wife because she was just an absolutely crazy lady like fucking BATSHIT nuts but even there I think he probably does think about why now TWO of his very serious relationships are/were with mentally unstable women like that shit's on him lol. My therapist says he obviously has some kind of hero thing going on and I think she's right. I think the craziness appeals to him on some level?? But it's not like he encourages MY craziness, he very much tries to get me to be less crazy and when I'm stable is generally when we have the best times but again like I do think it's a bit weird that her and I are both yk not very sane people overall. I do also think she lacks self-awareness about it lol but that's just from what I've heard about her - I think she's totally fucking insane but happy to live that way lol. My point though is even her, if she pops up, he very much clicks on even though he hates her guts. He manifests for like bad pics of her lol actually I think.

[howlingday]

Jaune as Ken (Barbie)

Jaune: ...Can I go that way-

Pyrrha: YES!

Jaune: (Walks away, Keeps his eyes on her)

Pyrrha: ...

Pyrrha: DON'T GO TOO FAR!

Jaune: I WON'T!

Pyrrha: (Sighs)

Jaune: (Walking down the street)

Dude: Excuse me, sir. (Passes) Thanks, man.

Jaune: (Nods)

Jaune: (Looking at the huge buildings)

Guy: (Passing) Wassup, man?

Jaune: (Smiling)

Bro: (Walking out) We gotta man up on this one.

Man: (Fist-bumps) Great workout, man!

MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN~!

Jaune: (Giddy, Looking at all the men)

Woman: Excuse me, sir-

Gentleman: (Holds finger up) Not now, Mary.

Jaune: (Imitates holding up his finger)

Jaune: (Admiring the marathon of men) YES~!

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune as Holland March (The Nice Guys)

Jaune: (Sighs as he puts cigarette in mouth, Whips out lighter)

Jaune: (Lights, Qrow behind him)

Jaune: Ugh... (Blinks, Ignites lighter, Turns, Drops cigarette)

Qrow: (Dead behind him)

Ren: (Walking around, Confused) ...Arc? Arc! Arc, where are you?

Jaune: (Wheezing, Waving, Gesturing, Weakly) Ren... Ren...! (Inhales) REN! REN~!

Ren: (Looks over balcony) The fuck are you doing down there?!

Jaune: GET DOWN HERE~!

Ren: (Climbs down) Alright, what's going on?

Jaune: (Pointing) I'm gonna be sick... Gonna throw up...

Ren: (Looks closer) Oh shit! Who the fuck is that?! (Pats body, Winces, Grabs wallet) Oh, fuck, he's a huntsman...

Jaune: (Carrying body with Ren)

Ren: Okay, on three, we toss him over the fence and nobody finds out. Got it?

Jaune: Uh-huh... (Lifts with Ren, Pushes)

CRASH!

Woman: OH MY GOD~! (Screams with others)

Ren: (Ducks with Jaune) RUN.

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune as Jacob Palmer (Crazy, Stupid Love)

Jaune: (Walks in)

Ruby: Weiss, you're probably the prettiest girl in this bar, but you're only interested in tall, lanky, and dorky Neptune?

Weiss: He's smart!

Ruby: He looks like a blue popsicle!

Jaune: Who looks like a blue popsicle?

Ruby: ...

Weiss: ...

Jaune: Hi. Who looks like a blue popsicle?

Ruby: Uh, N-Neptune... Vasilias... Er, W-Weiss here thinks that he's sexy.

Jaune: That's funny, because I think Weiss here is sexy.

Weiss: Oh my god... You did not just say that. How old are you?

Jaune: What are you, a lawyer?

Weiss: ...To an extent, yes.

Jaune: Really?

Weiss: Kind of.

Jaune: What about you?

Ruby: Not yet.

Weiss: Don't you think you're a little old to be using cheesy pick-up lines?

Jaune: Objection; leading the witness.

Ruby: (Giggles)

Jaune: Wow, Weiss... You're really wearing that dress like it's doing you a favor~.

Weiss: Oh my god!

Jaune: I'm serious. Me sitting at the bar and not being able to look away for more than five seconds is a fact. There's a lot of beautiful women in this bar, your friend included. Hi.

Ruby: I love you.

Jaune: ...And yet I can't take my eyes off of you. Again, that's a fact. I'm not lying. I find you very attractive. Do you find me attractive~?

Ruby: SHE DOES~.

Weiss: I don't.

Jaune: Mm. I think you do.

Ruby: She does!

Weiss: I d- I don't!

Jaune: You do.

Ruby: You do.

Weiss: I don't!

Jaune: Weiss, can I buy you a drink?

Weiss: No.

Jaune: You say no a lot, don't you?

Weiss: No.

Jaune: Oh man.... Permission to approach the bench?

Weiss: Seriously?

Jaune: (Pulls up a chair) C'mon. Let me deliver my closing argument.

Weiss: (Sighs) ...Proceed.

Jaune: Weiss, we live in a physical world, right?

Weiss: Uh-huh?

Jaune: And we're all getting older. You included.

Weiss: Mhm...

Jaune: I can give you my word that you will never regret going home from the bar with a guy who was a total tom-cat in the sack.

Weiss: (Cringes)

Jaune: But I can't give you my word you won't regret it.

Weiss: That's a double negative.

Jaune: You're a double negative~.

Weiss: ...

Jaune: ...Okay, Weiss, can I buy you a drink?

Weiss: It's- You know what? It's time to go home.

Jaune: Really? That's very forward of you, but okay. I'll do it.

Weiss: (Gets up) This airship is sob-free.

Jaune: Oh... Okay, so, should I get my car, yours, drive it around, maybe share a cab? If you've been drinking, I'm good to drive.

Weiss: (Neat the exit) Let's go, Ruby!

Ruby: Coming~!

Jaune: (Watches her leave)

May I offer a [Jaune Gosling] in these trying times?

...fuck why is that funny?

[mysticficti0n]

can't help but miss you

Tom Kaulitz x Y/n Y/l/n

anonymous- I have a request, obvi you don’t have to do! Maybe like a 2023 smut with Tom Kaulitz( him and Heidi are dating not engaged) Reader and Tom had a thing/dating when he was younger/ aka when he had the dreads and they reunite at a party and the reader is like so pretty like model type and she’s like maybe a little younger than Tom and when they meet each others eyes Tom can’t seem to stop looking at her and like Heidi asks him what’s wrong but he just shrugs it off and later on when Heidi went to go get a drink or something the reader walks up to him and they end up going to the restroom and the smut happens… and then Heidi runs into him after but reader alr left and shit. ALSO I LOVE YOUR STORIES OFC YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS REQUEST

No I absolutely love this- the worst thing fucking happened I deleted the wrong concept (baso I had two of these like a story set out and a write up and I deleted the write up x_x) but I re-wrote it and hopefully its better than the OG one ❤️

(smut/fluff)

people under 16+ please don't interact, if you do it's not my problem you've been warned!

　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- cheating, toxic relationship, fingering, sex, ownership, hair pulling, swearing, rough/smut into fluff, drugs are mentioned

words- 4k

(oh this is your outfit btw just without the gloves- black n white dress)

The music was blaring as I walked into my old friend Gustav's 35th birthday party, I wasn't expecting a blow out like this but I mean when I herd Bill was in charge it didn't fully surprise me, I looked around and everyone was dressed in black and white as we were told on the invitations. I turned to Beth my sister who'd been invited too and she was already laughing and smiling with some women, I carried on through the venue telling her I'd catch up with her later on

I saw some people I recognised but I'm nearly 15 years older now, freshly 31 years old, I turned around a corner and saw the smiling faces of three of my old best friends "Holy shit! Y/n oh my god!" Bill ran over pulling me into a hug- his hugs I've missed for years "you look amazing!" he let go and I gave him a spin

"you two! look at this outfit- Bill you never dress badly I swear to god" he giggled grabbing my hand and pulling me to the group

"look who it is" Georg smiled pulling me into a hug and I held him back "its been so long!"

"I know, ten years... shit thirteen I think since we last saw each other" I shook my head in disbelief at how the time has flown by, when we all last knew each other Tokio Hotel was going on their biggest tour and I was just getting big in the modelling world- now I'm one of the top models and they still do crazy big tours around the world "Gustav! happy birthday!" I called seeing him come to me and hugging me like the other two

"hey- I didn't even know you were coming! thank you by the way" he smiled- he looked different- they all did but none bad "how's life?"

"pretty good, Beth moved in with me not long ago, mom and dad are doing well and jobs just keeping me busy, how about you I herd you had a baby! what the fuck" a smile creeped onto his face as he pulled out his phone showing me all the pictures of the small girl and how she's already so grown up "god she's beautiful"

"just like her mom" he chirped pulling a women forward "Linda this is Y/n, childhood friend" a brown haired women stepped forward giving me a smile- she was beautiful. Our conversation continued till I felt a tap at my shoulder and I I saw him for the first time since we'd split back in 2010, his hair wasn't in long black braids, clothes not baggy and lip piercing still there no- his hair was brown and blonde waved and around his head, in black slacks and matching button, lip pricing gone "holy shit! hey!" Tom's arms closed around me giving me a huge hug, tighter than the rest

"Hi, fuck it's been so long!" he hummed into my hair pulling away but his hands still holding my arms "you look amazing!" I smiled hearing his voice again

"you too! the hair is new" he nodded playing with the ends like a kid "my god I can't believe I haven't seen you guys since I was like 19, its crazy" everyone said a string of 'yeah' and 'fuck its been long' but were interrupted by a voice that called Tom away, I looked to see a tall blonde women who I immediately recognised, Heidi Klum

"oh Y/n this is my girlfriend- Heidi this is-" the women stepped forward and grinned

"Y/n Y/l/n right? I saw you in vogue, you looked gorge in that red lace" I nodded feeling flattered a model like her had seen me but then it clicked GIRLFRIEND?- I would never have expected it

"lovely to meet you- I've seen some of your shoots and you're beautiful, especially " she blushed grabbing my hand. we kept talking till my sister came over and pulled me to go get drinks and I waved to the group

TOM'S POV-

My jaw could've fallen off when I saw her, she was even more pretty then before and I didn't even know that was possible, her hair looked perfect around her face, longer than before, make up made her look sexier than I could even imagine, her eyes were lighter than the smokey eyes she'd do daily, and the dress- god how it went around her thighs and fit her curves perfectly

I couldn't help but feel my heart skip when I looked over at her, I had to stop, I have Heidi but... but I couldn't.

the night went on but I couldn't stop thinking about Y/n- every memory of her, remembering those feelings that were flooding back from 13 years ago- the time I made the worst mistake

-flashback-

"are you fucking serious? what are you talking about?" Y/n spoke staring at her boyfriend who was leaning on the kitchen counter staring at the girl, eyes had dark circles around them, lips looked dry

"we should break up-" Toms voice was strong but he was falling apart inside, hearing those words come from his mouth felt like stabs to his heart

"Tom what the fuck!" the girls voice got louder and she slammed her bags into the floor, Y/n had just got off work and was more then excited to get home- it was Friday meaning date night but came home to see loads beer bottles thrown in the bin on the drive and cigaret boxes hiding between them "what happened within the 6 hours I was gone. you.. you were saying how much you loved me this morning and kissing me and now- now you want to break up?" her voice cracked even mentioning breaking up, she loved him more than life its self and had for the last 3 years they'd been dating, he helped her buy her first house, spent Christmas and birthdays together- why did he want to end it? is all she could think of

"well I was wrong and- I didn't mean any of that shit, I don't fucking love you... I haven't for years" his voice slurred. Y/n thought she'd faint, years?

"you're drunk- ah don't even deny it I saw the bottles Tom" he rolled his eyes walking to the door where she was stood and went to open it "what are you doing?" her voice quivered "Tom what are you doing... Tom please what are you doing!" she started to yell as he just stood over her looking to the door "TOM PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she broke down grabbing his shirt and trying to pull him to look down "TOM! TOM LOOK AT ME! FUCK SAKE JUST LOOK AT ME TOM!" she screamed and the boy looked down seeing her, mascara running down her face, eyes full of tears and screams leaving her mouth but his mind was a blur with the mix of alcohol, tobacco, weed and the pure sadness he felt, he felt he was slipping from reality

"Y/n let go-" he spoke calmly "you need to let go of me" his voice began to shake as he tried to pry the girl off him

"NO! NO WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT DID I DO TOM PLEASE FUCKING TELL ME, DON'T JUST LEAVE!" Y/n poked her finger into his chest and again he just walked back into the kitchen and to the fridge pulling another beer out "stop drinking- just tell me!" she stormed to the kitchen and snatched the bottle from his hand

"you did nothing Y/n-" the girl argued back but he soon cut her off "Y/N I FUCKING CHEATED OKAY- I CHEATED ON YOU" he caught himself of guard screaming at her pointing his finger in her face and slamming his first onto the table, she cowered down but soon her eyes narrowed

"YOU FUCKING CHEATED!" with the bottle in hand the girl threw it toward the boy missing his face by inches she watched it smash onto the wall and explode "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CHEAT ON ME? WAS I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? DID I NOT GIVE YOU ENOUGH?"

"YOU WERE ENOUGH GOD DAMN IT YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME Y/N- I FUCKING LOVE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT OKAY!" the boy shouted back but Y/n wasn't having it she started finding anything she could and throwing it at him, oranges, keys, glasses, soap bottles you name it, she threw it

"YOU PEICE OF SHIT DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME! YOU WOULDN'T CHEAT IF YOU LOVED ME AND YOU JUST FUCKING SAID YOU HAVEN'T LOVED ME IN YEARS" her heart began to shatter at the sight of him to the point she had to hold on to the counter- the same counter they'd make dinner together on and celebrate birthdays drink together, he'd sometimes lift her onto it and they kiss for hours on end, Tom walked over to the girl grabbing her hand she wanted to let go but she couldn't not with the way her head was, the world was spinning and she felt she'd fall any second

"I'm sorry- Y/n I'm sorry I don't know why I did it please I- I can't even look at myself without feeling like I've destroyed the one thing I love so much- I still love you Y/n, I never for a second of any year stopped, I don't know why I said what I said, I never stopped loving you but I can't be with you- not after what I've done" tears fell from the couples eyes as they stood there

"you have fucked me over Tom- I fucking loved you, I'd do anything for you and I get this? you said you'd marry me, we'd have a family, grow old, watch life become better together ; why did you ruin this?" her hands pounded on his chest with every word "you have ruined me- everything was going so well and I want you to know what ever happens next- is your fault" her words stung like hell, he could only stare and regret everything he ever did with that women.. why did he let his old ways get in the way "fuck you Tom- get the fuck out of my house- I never wanna see you ever fucking again, come get your shit tomorrow when I'm not here and I don't want to hear from you again" and with that the two never spoke again, never saw each other again and the feelings just faded with the years

-end of flashback-

now I'm standing here watching her dance around to her old favourite songs and sing like she always did around the house- god I missed her so much. I still felt a pain when I saw her, when we broke up I saw her in magazines, tv, posters, everywhere and would need to smoke straight after and drink something strong to try pull my mind from her- Y/n Y/ln

"hun whats wrong are you okay?" Heidi tapped me, pulling me from my thoughts

"huh- oh yeah I'm good just looking for Georg" I lied seeing her nod and she quickly said she was going to the bar with some friends and walked away, my eyes drifted back to Y/n, laughing with people we knew back in the days but soon I realised she wasn't looking at them- she was looking at-at me. she waved of the group and came to me with the same grin I remember being in love with

"hey! are you alright you seem a bit- gone" I rolled my eyes seeing the girl laugh "or was my dancing just that amazing?"

"oh of course" I chuckled seeing her start dancing again "wow you could be a professional" she stopped taking a sip of her drink and placing the empty cup on the side "I can't believe its been thirteen years" I sighed seeing her nod

"yeah- last time I saw you was erm.. when we broke up" a awkward laugh escaped her lips "fun times"

"yeah- I wanna apologise for it- I... the way I did it was stupid I was drinking and smoking because I thought it would make it easier but fuck it only made things so much worse and- and I'm sorry Y/n" the girl looked to me, her doe eyes softening and a smile spreading back along her red lips

"thank you...you know for the next two years after we broke up I sometimes wondered if you'd come home or just come see me you know- In a way I'm glad you didn't but god I missed you" I felt my heart swell- I did Dave past her house arguing with myself just to go knock the door, or call her and say I needed her... but I could never bring myself to do it

"I wanted to but I didn't want a orange pelted at me" I played she giggled again hitting my arm "see you can't stop hitting me!"

"shut up Thomas" hearing my nickname nearly knocked me out "god I haven't said that in a while"

"...I fucking missed you" I caught myself of guard, her y/c/e shot into my gaze and I felt my breath hitch, but I wasn't some dumb teen anymore I wanted to tell her everything"I- I miss everything about us- the dates, your voice, the long nights we'd be up talking, making dinner, singing songs, dance at parties, hold each other, spend holidays together- fuck I miss our..." I halted deciding if it was right to say, Y/n gave me a small nod and with a single breath it came out "I miss our sex- nobody is as good or understands me the way you did and it sounds crazy but fuck its true- I miss you Y/n- I regret everything" her eyes seemed glassy but everything I said was true

"I- I miss it all too, no one is like you- nobody treats me like you did, I- I miss you fucking every day I try to ignore it but 15 years I still think about you, I'm happy we moved on but I want you back... as stupid as that sounds" it was like the world only had us in it- my mind could only focus on her I wanted to kiss her- god kissing Y/N was like a dream come true for me. Every time we locked lips, my heart would flutter and my stomach would get butterflies. I loved the way her soft lips felt against mine and the way she'd close her eyes and melt into me, like nothing else mattered in the world. I could spend hours just kissing her and never get tired of it. It felt like a beautiful escape from the real world, where all that mattered was us and the moment we shared. Even when we had to part ways, the memory of our kisses would linger in my mind and make me smile.

in a fast move I caught her lips in mine, hands wrapping around her waist it was like I was 16 all over again, Y/n wrapped up in my arms and kissing her any chance I got, for a moment she was hesitant but I felt her mold to me, her hand tangled in my hair- I'd never felt her grip there but it felt so right. Thankfully we were in the corner of the room and as the night got later the only lights that were on were the ones on the dance floor so we weren't in view of anyone unless they really looked, my lips moved from her lips to her neck- I nipped just below her jaw, I remembered everything about her body, every dip, curve, spot. A sweet moan filled my ear making me only hungrier for her "fuck- Tom people might see us, be careful" hearing my name fall from her lips took me back. I felt the girl pull back and look down, my eyes followed her

"shit- I..I'm sorry" I saw the tent formed in my slacks brushing against her thigh, my eyes met with hers again a smirk forming on her lips. Without any more words we slid away into one of the many bathrooms in the building through the corridor and down the stairs "god I've fucking missed you baby-" she smiled pulling my face to her, foreheads hitting, she pressed one last kiss to my lips and sat on the bathroom counter, shoving all the soaps and towels to the floor.

It had been 15 years since I last touched her let alone had sex with Y/n. I was nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I was worried whether I would be able to please her, whether I would be able to pleasure her, whether I would be able to make her feel the same way I had made her feel all those years ago when I could make her the most beautiful mess in the matter of minuets. I was scared of disappointing Y/n, of not being able to give her the same pleasure I had given her before. But despite all these fears, I was eager to be with Y/n once again, to experience the same feeling that we had experienced so long ago. I was ready to explore a new kind of connection with her, to explore the depths of our newly rediscovered lust. I was ready to fuck Y/n and have the pleasure that I had been missing for so long.

my hands wondered up her thighs onto the hem of the dress "can I?" she nodded lifting herself slightly so I could get the dress over her ass, I pulled it up revealing a small lacy black thong "fuck-" I groaned feeling my self wanting to rip it off her, she lifted her arms allowing me to get the dress fully off and I watched as her tits fell free , they were still my favourite eye candy all these years on "god I've missed those" I lunged forward taking her one boob into my mouth, swirling her nipple with my tongue hearing her soft noises escape her lips, her hands tangled themselves into my hair as she pulled me closer

"Tom- please i.. I need more" I pulled away looking to her face flushed red, I let my hands fall to her hips and play with the thong strap "please" she whined grabbing my hands and putting it to her heat, there was a small patch in the fabric- she was already soaking

"god still so needy hm?" she nodded "so wet for me-" my words came out in a almost moan and I watched her trying to roll her hips on my hand, I pulled away and shoved her hands back, I leaned down grabbing her legs and pulling her closer to me, my chin resting on her bare stomach "want me to take these off?" she hummed getting closer to me, I pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh and grabbed both sides of the cotton ripping them apart

"TOM!" she yelled eyes widening at her panties in two "I-"

"its fine baby, I'll clean you up well so you wont need these, can be our little secret" her face went red again telling me I did a good job as I stuffed the fabric into my pocket "now- let me see that pretty little pussy" her legs parted and she was leaking already- she was beautiful, I let my ring finger slide through her folds hearing small whimpers string from her mouth "good girl, you like me touching you?"

"yes Tom- fuck I've missed this please- please I need more, don't tease pl-please" I laughed at her words pressing a small kiss to her head before letting my finger dip into her heat "SHIT-"

"shush- don't want people hearing you up stairs" she covered her mouth with her free hand and closed her eyes- I could've came at the sight but I knew I had to wait, I brought another finger into her feeling her tighten around me "good girl- you want more don't you?" she nodded opening her eyes that were already tearing up

"I need- I need you.." hearing her voice so quiet was music to my ears, she was so god damn hot "ple-" I sped up my pace adding a third didget and a cry spilled from her "I..I'm gonna- TOM!" I ripped my fingers out and let my mouth do the finishing part- tasting her for the first time in so long I hummed at the flavour "shit shit shit" she came, hands tightening around my shoulders

"you taste even sweeter doll" I grinned coming back up with my chin slick with her "think you can take more?" her mouth opened sucking for air "mh?" my hand cupped her jaw, thumb soothing her lips, I pulled away and brought the fingers that had once been in her, with no hesitation she took them into her mouth, cleaning her of me with a purr

"yes- I can please" with that I hand my hand back and unbuckled my belt, letting my slacks fall to the floor followed by my boxer, Y/n came closer unbuttoning my shirt reviling my chest, I pressed one last hungry kiss to her lips before lining myself up with her heat

"tell me when to stop-" she nodded her head and gently I pushed into her- the feeling taking me back, so warm and she fit so perfectly around me "ugh- fuck you never changed" a dopey smile appeared on her lips

"okay- you can move" she propped her self up on her hands, my hands holding her hips, I pulled out agonisingly slow "Tom please- don't tease me, not after this long" she breathed, eyes staring into mine. I snapped my hips out and back into the warmth quickly "SHIT" she screamed

"good girl- take it Y/n, I know you can doll come on" I spoke between thrusts, I grabbed her legs throwing them over my shoulders going deeper into her, a high moan flooded the bathroom as I pressed against her g-spot

"fuck right there babe- right there" hearing my old pet name sent me into overdrive, I pulled her off the counter and pressed her against the granite, ass slapping again my hips and I slammed myself into her, I watched her face in the mirror- tears of pleasure forming in her y/c/e's, mouth wide open "Oh my god- I forgot how big you- you are" a proud grin plastered my face

"look at yourself baby- watch how good I fuck you" her eyes opened wider as she looked at her self "look at you angel taking me so well ,cock feels so good in you Y/n" I whined pushing myself as deep as I could

I let go of her hip where my hand perfectly fit and twisted her hair into a makeshift pony-tail, pulling her head back, my lips in the shell of her ear "look so pretty like this baby- god I missed you" I pressed kisses to her hair line still watching her in the mirror, tits bouncing at ever push "so perfect for me... this pussy is all mine- nobody will ever fuck you better than me huh?"

"no- shit no, this pussy is yours Tom- all yours" I felt my cock twitch and my legs go weak "fuck... Tommy I'm so close" I let her hair go, pulling out and twisting her around so I could see her face, she grabbed my cock lining it back up and I sunk back in

"cum for me babe- fuck, just like tha-" before I could finish my sentence I felt her tighten around me, squeezing me In all the right places, her eyes squeezed shut and a sob good enough to be a porn star erupted from her throat and soon I felt myself cum into her, pumping her full, our liquids running down my cock and on her thighs

"fuck yes- feels so.. good" her voice was a whisper as she clung onto my shoulders "good-so good" I could tell her mind was blank, as we both came down from our high I stared to her face, eyes closed as she caught her breath- I missed her, not just because of the sex but being able to walk up and wrap my arms around her, talk to her on the phone the whole night on tour, give her gifts and spoil her, be there when she cried

"I love you" I spoke pressing a kiss to her cheek "I love you so much- I miss you Y/n" her eyes opened, head nodding at all my words

"i... I know Tom but- we can't, you- you know that, you have Heidi now- I'm just a memory; but I love you- and I want you to know that" she panted catching her breath, her hand cupped my jaw as she pressed a small kiss to my lips, where her favourite piercing was

"i... I don't want you to be a memory Y/n-" she wrapped her arms around me and I couldn't help but hold her again tears pricking my eyes "I don't want to lose you again"

"it's over Tom- but I'll always be here, I'll always love you but we can't be together" I nodded my head, peppering her face with kisses and finally to her lips; it wasn't hungry this time- passionate, longing and meaningful, painfully as I knew this was the last time

after we cleaned up and hugged one last time we made our ways out, going our separate ways once again- I knew she'd be going home- back to the house where I ruined everything.

I went over to the bar ordering a shot of vodka and taking it quickly, I felt arms tangle around me and rush of hope filled me "y/-"

"darling where have you been?" Heidi kissed my cheek raking her hands through my hair

"just in the bathroom" i spoke seeing her nod her head- only if she knew

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

[erodasfishtacos]

Curious Gazes

prompt: [CEO!Harry] four times harry has been spotted by employees being very unlike his demeanor at work.

word count: 4.3 k

warnings: harry is an asshole to everyone but is wife and baby.

**** <-- click for visuals throughout the story. ( because i love showing off how dumb rich harry is - i mean he’s a billionaire ffs)

notes: thanks so much for the love on the first part. I will be writing quite a bit for this trope. the next addition will be all smut. love you, enjoy.

PART ONE

----

RESERVATION RUN-IN

Harry has over a hundred-thousand full-time employees. He has nearly ten-thousand at his London office at all times. The skyscraper was beautiful with clear glass, a reflective grey tone, and the structure screamed modern. It has eighty-three floors.

So with that being said, Harry does not know even one third of the people who work in the building nor does he want to. He couldn’t pick them out of a line-up if he tried. 

However, having so many employees in the city means his staff members are bound to catch sight of their boss pretty often outside of the office.

Sarah, Lucielle, Jack, and Anya - all from the customer service department of Styles Media and Marketing Inc. - are all out to dinner. They decided to go all out and dish out a hefty amount to eat at Il Nascondiglio Segreto. It was a reservation they had made nearly a month ago.

As they’re enjoying their appetizer, Lucielle nearly chokes on her oyster, “Holy shit. It’s Harry,” She whispers, nodding her head in the direction she was staring with bulging eyes.

They all can’t help but turn subtly, a perfect vantage point from where they’re sat right across the way from the group of employees. Their boss was dressed in a bit more casual - not by much - attire than he’d worn to the office earlier that Friday afternoon.

He had an open blazer with a white, nearly see-through button up. Their eyes nearly jumping out of their skulls when they spot his butterfly tattoo sitting on right below his sternum. Jack’s hawk eyes catch that he has a name in cursive on his left pec. 

Plus his normal tailored suit trousers were replaced with tight skinny jeans that hugged his crotched - making it unmistakable that he was well….endowed. Hair was no longer as styled and curled. Laying more carelessly on his shoulders. ****

But what was the most absurd thing they saw him wearing was a smile. His lips were curled up in a large, white grin that was big enough to cause little wrinkles around his eyes. 

His hand intertwined with his wife’s until they arrived at their table, pulling out her chair for her, landing a soft kiss on her cheek before sitting down in his across from her.

He automatically puts an open palm halfway across the table and his date places her’s right on top of it. Her large engagement ring and wedding band sparkling in the low lighting in the restaurant. They were holding hands over the table.

The group had never actually seen the women they deemed Cruella Deville. They had envisioned his wife with bleach blonde hair, fake tits, and fish lips complimented with botox that made it so her forehead didn’t move.

But they were met with a beautiful, natural one instead. She had gorgeous curled locks trailing down her back, light neutral makeup with normal sized lips, small creases where they should be. 

Her body was natural as well, breasts pushed up in a bra but obviously not manufactured by the way they sat, a bit of a pouch around her midsection - a telltale sign from her recent pregnancy, and a radiant smile to match her husband’s. 

They looked so happy and in love.

She was dressed short, polka-dotted black dress with a pair of simple black shoes. She complimented with with a bright red lip which stood out against the dark fabric. ***

It’s not that they didn’t look like a match - she was absolutely stunning. It just wasn’t who they imagined for the boss they despised ninety percent of the time.

The group can’t keep their eyes off the couple - subtly, of course - for their whole time at the restaurant.

Harry was laughing loudly - different sound than when he laughed without a humor at bumbling, nervous employees.

It was light and higher pitched - but still gravely low; smooth like honey as his wife matches his laughs.

At one point, after their meal arrives - Harry offers her a spoonful of his food, playfully complaining that she took too big of a bite - but then immediately offering her more right after.

When she excused herself to the bathroom, Lucille catches Harry’s sneaky hand reaching out to give her backside a quick grope which earns him a warning glance that has him snickering.

Anya who was in the restroom nearly runs into her, Y/N apologizes instantly, “I’m sorry! Wasn’t watching where I was going! Are you alright?”

Anya nods, a bit at a loss of words, talking to Harry Styles' wife, “I’m okay, thank you.”

“I swear I have two left feet,” Y/N jokes, complimenting her dress before disappearing into a stalls. A completely lovely girl.

It’s pathetic but the group lingers around to watch their boss’s full dinner date. It was creepy but they were just so stunned at the man that was sitting by them.

The couples behavior had turned more flirty by this point, Y/N’s eyelashes fluttering at little bit more at her husband, her giggles flowing more often with licks to her lips. 

By the clenched fist on the table, Harry seems to be falling prey to the teasing. 

But when his wife whispers something - that must have been filthy - and leans forward so her cleavage is displayed more, Harry’s pulling out his wallet, pulling an absurd amount of bills out and throwing them carelessly on the table.

Y/N’s eyes are twinkling in victory as her husband stands and helps her out of her chair - ever the gentlemen.

It doesn’t seem very gentlemen like though when his hand comes to the very lowest point on the small of her back -  pushing her into him. He leans down to murmur something into her ear before landing a damp, way too intimate for public kiss to her jaw and then throat.

In turn, she looks up at him with a mischievous tilt of her lip and a challenging raised brow. You could cut their sexual tension with a knife.

Y/N lifts up on her toes to kiss him before grabbing his hand and guiding him out of the establishment quickly - his eyes glued to her bum the whole time.

Jack breaks the bated silence, with a bewildered chortle, “What the fuck was that?”

Sarah sips her wine, “Maybe he has a twin? Like a good twin? And he’s the evil one.”

They all laugh and finish up their desserts. 

---

MOTHER’S DAY SHOPPING

Kasey and Tom - from Human Resources - are out for the day. It was a week before Mother’s Day and they were both scrambling for a gift at the shops.

Harrod’s was nearly empty as they had came in a few minutes after the store opened. Kasey had gotten distracted from her mission and was trying on shoes. 

There was a 40% off sale and she wasn’t passing that up.

Tom had wondered off to the electronics department very soon after the first five shoeboxes arrived next to her chair.

“Pink!” Kasey hears a high-pitched baby voice squeal with utter delight. She looks up to see a curly haired toddler pointing at a pair of pink baby shoes.

The little girl had the cutest denim dress on with white stripes ***, white tights on, and white Mary Janes. When Kasey looked closer she realized the Gucci emblem was on the dress - holy shit, she didn’t even know Gucci made baby clothes.

“Daddy, please?” The toddler asks in a sweet, small voice looking to the approaching man who scoops her up in the crook of his elbow.

“Ivy, y’can’t run away from daddy. Do you understand me?” 

Kasey’s eyes widen as she recognizes that deep, raspy voice. It was her boss, Harry Styles, and with his little mini who looked like a cherub angel.

“No run, daddy,” Ivy grins up at him, looking for approval.

The slightly stern look dissipates from his face into a softer, relaxed smile at his daughter’s words. He kept her close against his chest.

“Daddy, please?” She piques up again, pointing at the small shoes on the wall.

“Y’want those shoes?” Harry asks, nodding towards the pink sneakers.

Ivy nods before pointing at the other shoes next to it, “All, please?”

Despite her father not having any manners in the slightest, his daughter seemed to have excellent etiquette.

Harry chuckles, smoothing a stray curl down from her forehead, “Y’want a pair of all these shoes?”

Ivy nods with wide doe eyes and one of her dimples popping in her left cheek. 

“Y’mother’s going to kill me,” Kasey hears Harry mutter before waving a sales associate over.

“Good to see you, Mr. Styles - I’m Tracey. What can I help you with?”

Of course they knew him by name. He was by the looks of it one of their most appreciated customers, figuring he rarely wears the same thing twice.

“Can I please get a pair of all these shoes in a toddler’s size three? And can you please ring them up for me? Thank you,” Harry asks, his voice taking on the executive and firm tone with the associate who nods and turns on her heel.

“Daddy? Kissy?” The girl asks her father, her little palm patting his cheek and she’s puckering her pink lips.

“Yes baby,” Harry obliges, giving her a peck before blowing a raspberry on her cheek. He tugs down her dress that’s ridden up in true parent fashion.

As they’re waiting, Harry continues to talk to his daughter, “Y’know pet, we came here to shop for mumma for mother’s day. Y’always manage to get something out of it, hmm?”

“Mummy?” Ivy squawks, repeating her father’s word. 

“Yes, mummy. I think she’s really going to like the necklace we picked out,” Harry taps at her nose, his eyes just read love and amazement for his little girl.

Kasey was dumbfounded. 

This man had literally stormed into their offices yesterday, frustration seeping into his loud tone as he asked the room of employees if it was a lady's brunch club or a place of employment when he hadn’t gotten a report on his desk at a certain time.

They’d all stuttered and apologized but Harry had already slammed the door of his way out - the doorframe shaking. A nasty email being sent to their inboxes mere minutes later.

“Mr. Styles? We are out of two of the pairs,” The saleswoman appears and tells him, tablet now in hand.

Harry’s voice is calm but he looks her dead in the eye, “Do you not know how to ship them to a house? I don’t have time for this nonsense.”

She begins to apologize, pulling up a page of her tablet, “Your total comes to £6,309.45 for the shoes.”

Kasey’s eyes nearly pop from her head at the total but Harry merely blinks and states, “Charge it to my Amex on file.”

“Would you like me to add on the items you picked up downstairs? That would bring your total to £ 213,088.79. The necklace *** will be shipped within the next two weeks and will need to be signed for at your doorstep by an authorized person of your choosing, they’ll need to provide identification to certify their identity.”

“I need the necklace by next Sunday- it’s my daughter’s Mother’s Day gift to her mum - hence the pink diamonds,” Harry states to the woman like she’s stupid.

Did that woman just say that amount? And did Harry not even bat an eyelash at it. 

Kasey’s brain couldn’t really comprehend it.

“Expedited shipping on this item would be…” Tracey looks down at her tablet and taps a few buttons, “It will be an extra £3,219 for expedited shipping as it’s coming from Swittzerland.” 

Harry is distracted for a moment as Ivy is wriggling until Harry puts her down. Kasey didn’t see that he had a plush doll tucked in between his jeans and belt on his back.

“Baby doll,” Ivy pokes at her father’s thigh, too short to reach her toy. 

Harry tugs it out and hands it to her, “Stay right here, Vee.”

Ivy unceremoniously plops on the ground next to her father’s leather boot while he confirms the purchases and signs off on them.

It was cute - the plush baby doll she was playing with was ratty, worn, and very visibly loved. It seems as if it’s been her favorite toy for a while.

After finishing up with Tracey, Kasey sees him slip her a few bills for her trouble and lugs Ivy back up onto his hip.

“Shake, daddy?” Ivy lisps hopefully, green eyes sparkling up at her father’s. 

Harry lets out a chuckle, “No, baby. It’s only ten in the morning, y’can’t have a milkshake. Let go home, maybe mumma will make us some blueberry pancakes if we give her lots of kisses?”

“Mummy,” Ivy agrees happily, her plush held tightly against her chest.

“She’s going to love your gift, darlin’, even though y’the best gift we’ve ever got,” Harry murmurs lovingly, pressed a warm kiss to his daughter’s cheek.

Tom has wandered back to the shoe department, eyes unfortunately meeting his boss’ right away - widen with surprise.

Harry’s eyes narrow when he finds Tom staring, “Can I help y’mate?”

“Uh-no! Sorry, just, erm, I work for you?” Tom stutters stupidly at his annoyed employer who currently has his toddler trying to pulls his sunglasses off the top of his head.

“Then I’d recommend, if you’d like it to stay that way, you mind your own damn business,” Harry bites out with a warning tone, unnecessarily rude.

Ivy doesn’t seem bothered, delighted when she tugs the shades off his head and attempts to put them on. She begins huffing as she struggles and Harry gently takes them and slides them on for her.

Tom nods, still baffled, and scurries over to Kasey. 

They both glance back when their boss isn’t looking. He hears him murmur softly, “Let’s go see mummy.”

“Pancakes?” Ivy chirps, looking at her dad for confirmation.

“Anythin’ for you, my little love,” Harry agrees, starting to walks to the elevator to the entrance of the store. 

Tom and Kasey look at each other with unexplainable expressions as they watch their asshole of a boss clearly wrapped around a toddler’s finger. 

—-

THE PARK

“Hi! Is anyone sitting here?” Savannah hears from beside her on the park bench. 

She looks up to see a beautiful, young woman looking to be around her age looking at her expectantly. She has a backpack on her shoulders and a curly-haired toddler on her hip.

“Nope! You’re good!” Savannah replies kindly, moving over to make room on the bench for her to sit.

“Awesome, thank you. I’m Y/N and this is Ivy. Say ‘hi’,” Y/N prompts her daughter with a nudge.

Ivy puts on a beaming smile, white little blocky teeth on display, “Hi.”

“I’m Savannah and the little brunette boy in the green shirt is mine - his name’s Flynn.”

“Tell her how old you are, baby,” Y/N smiles, always trying to get her daughter to socialize as much as possible.

“Two!” Ivy giggles before impatiently squirming, “Mummy, play.”

Y/N laughs, “Just as impatient as your father. Go on, stay where mumma can see you, please.”

Ivy nods before speeding off towards the little jungle-gym to automatically start playing with the little group of kids.

“I wish I had their energy,” Y/N sighs, tugging a water bottle out of her backpack. 

Savannah was obsessed with everything gucci - even though she couldn’t afford anything - so when she spots the flashy bag, she can’t help but ask, “Is that a custom Gucci monogram multipack?”***

Y/N takes a sip before answering, “Yeah, my husband gave it to me as a gift on ‘national stay at home mum day’ - which I don’t even think is a real thing. He just knows I’ll chew him out if he buys me things like this without reason.”

They both laugh, Savannah can’t help but glance over the woman a little bit closer. She had a ratty, vintage tee on, plain black leggings, and a pair of black Nikes on - nothing that screamed over the top.

But then she spots the engagement ring *** on her finger. Savannah thought it looked so extravagant it almost looked fake. But the way the faucets reflect so magnificently in the sunshine makes her sure it’s real.

“What was that?” Savannah snaps back, realizing she hadn’t heard what Y/N was saying - too busy deciding how much money she had which wasn’t right when the girl was being so friendly.

“Oh, just - do you know any mum groups around here? I was in a group but all they liked to do was gossip and bitch. And I think Ivy heard the word ‘cunt’ one too many times from them.”

Savannah barks out a laugh, Y/N turns out to be extremely funny and friendly. She has a bit of a foul mouth and a quick wit but is a good listener.

“And so I said to the dude -“ Y/N cuts off when her phone rings, digging it out and answering, “Hi H, yeah. The one with the big purple slide, okay.”

When she hangs up, she tells her new friend, “My husband is stopping by really quick. He has a business dinner later and won’t see Ivy before her bedtime. Or me before my bedtime,” Y/N laughs.

“That’s so nice of him!” Savannah says, knowing her husband enjoyed when everyone was asleep by the time he came home. Would never go out of his way like Y/N’s husband would.

Y/N says with a smile in her eyes, “Yeah, he’s really good to us.”

They continue to chat until they hear a loud engine revving into the car park, Y/N rolls her eyes and mutters, “Of course, he brings the loudest car today.”

A vintage car swings into a spot and Savannah nearly gasps at who exits the car and begins to stride towards them. No one other than her boss. 

The man who had her doing her job by the book and when one hair fell out of place he knew right away. 

The man who she avoided at all cost possibly - taking the stairs so she doesn’t have to be in the elevator with his intimidating presence.

It took her a minute to connect the dots. Y/N was married to Harry? Harry was Ivy’s dad? It through her through a loop - Y/N was just - so nice. 

But it does explain all the gucci and the massive diamond ring. She did happen to work for a fucking billionare. Y/N didn’t come off as a billionaire or a billionaire’s wife.

‘Holy shit, this is wild,’ Savannah thought.

Harry makes his way over to the bench, Y/N standing up to hug him. Harry kisses her softly with a large palm coming to slip under the back of her shirt to rub at her bare back.

Uh - this man was being loving and affectionate? Proving all Savannah's preconceived notions about him wrong. Mostly that he was a robot.

“Hi darlin’, have a good day?” Harry asks his wife, still holding onto her and tugging her into his side - looking to Ivy who was obliviously - playing on the swing.

“Mmm, don’t want you to go tonight,” Yn/Ngroans dramatically, squeaking when Harry playfully pinches her side.

“Tell me and I won’t go,” He murmurs with surprising sincerity against his wife’s cheek, smiling when Ivy lets out a loud, carefree giggle with her new friends.

“Oh! I’m being rude. This is Savannah, Savannah this is my husband Harry,” Y/N introduces the two, unknowing of their connection.

Savannah swallows harshly and gives him a timid wave, “Hello.”

Harry shows no recognition that he knows her but gives her a curt nod and rasps out a “hello.” 

Y/N rolls his eyes at her husband, patting his toned stomach, “He’s always a little crabby after work,” She jokes as he smirks at her - he’s rarely ever crabby with his wife and they both know it.

After work? How about from the time he stepped foot through the lobby doors everyday? He only had one mode at work - crabby.

“It’s ok-“

“Daddy!” A squeal interrupts them, a blur of brunette curls crashing into her father’s legs - full force with excitement.

Harry is bending down and tucking her into his arms for a hug, “Hi baby, y’bein’ so good for mumma?”

His tone had shifted into a low, relaxed drawl that Savannah had never heard. His words are kind and caring towards his daughter.

“Good for mumma,” Ivy parrots her father, dimples popping as she pushes at Harry’s face when he attacks her with kisses.

“You taste so good I could eat yah!” Harry growls playfully, Ivy giggling delightedly at her fathers antics until her cheeks are flushed pink with laughter.

“Swings, daddy,” Ivy motions with green doe eyes. Grass and mud stains the outfit her mother had dressed her in - cute striped overalls with a white tee underneath  *** and little sneakers ****.

“Oh dove, I wish I could. I have to go back to work,” Harry frowns, his thumb coming to caress her sweaty cheekbone.

Her brows furrowed and her full pink lips turned down - Savannah has to contain a laugh by how much she looks like her father with the displeased grimace on her face.

“No, no, Daddy,” Ivy argues adamantly, her eyes brimming with sad tears.

“Vee, c’mon, my love. I’ll be home later,” Harry soothes, starting to rock her from side to side to calm her.

But Ivy is in her terrible twos and doesn’t like the word ‘no.’

Y/N comes up to her husband’s side, tucking a hand into his back pocket to rest. 

“Ivy Elizabeth, we need to let your father go. Come to mummy now, please,” Her mother asks in a soft but firm tone.

“No!” Ivy absolutely shrieks with a awfully high pitch, “No mummy, daddy swings!”

The couple shares a look before Y/N is gathering her backpack on her shoulder, looking back to Savannah, “Hey! Text me, it’s about nap time for this one.”

Savannah agrees and gives them both a wave off as Harry totes his tantruming toddler to a sleek, teal SUV. It takes her a moment to scoff internally - off course it’s a Bentley ***.

And because Savannah can’t help but be nosey she googles the price of the car and quickly locks her screen when she sees the base price is £ 210,000.

Harry is planting little pecks on his daughter’s face and murmuring to her until her tears have dried up and she’s laughing at her dad once again.

After Harry straps her into the car seat and shuts the door, he gently pushes his wife back against it. His body is crowding hers, arm over her shoulder against the car.

The talk for a moment before Harry’s ducking down to pull a few kisses from her lips before she’s giggling and pushing him off.

Savannah couldn’t wait to tell the old women at in her customer relations department tomorrow.

— 

THE GAME

Cassie didn’t mind Harry actually. She made his coffee nearly every morning and she secretly knew he was the one who left those hefty tips.

She’d fumbled over his orders a few times when she’d started and apologized profusely but Harry had just looked up from his phone and said, “S’fine.”

Yeah, that’s not much but compared to some of the horror stories she hears, but she was grateful for another reason.

—-

One day he had found her crying in a empty corridor that he used to walk to his car at the end of his day.

“Y’alright?” Her boss asks gruffly, pausing to look down at her - no clear emotion on his face.

Cassie nods sheepishly, “M’sorry, I’m just really stressed out.”

Harry’s eyes flash a tad darker, “Is Carole giving you trouble?” 

Carole was her manager.

“N-no. I got declined for my school financial aid. If I don’t come up with the money I’ll have to drop out. I-I have a son and I do-don’t have the money to go without help.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, rustling into the inner pocket of his suit and fishing out something - a checkbook.

He clicks the pen and moves his hand quickly across the pad before ripping it out and handing it to her, “Good luck and use the extra on your family. Don’t go spreading it around that I did this.”

Cassie goes to thank him or refuse it but when she looks back up from the check he’s already striding away down the hallway away from her.

She lets out a loud sob as she sees a check written for £150,000 right in front of her.

—

Cassie still works at the Starbucks part-time while attending college with the help of her secretly kind boss.

The extra money she’s stowed away in an education fund for her son after he graduates. 

Anyways, she was at Man U football game that she got invited to with her boyfriend - Jacob. His dad won tickets for box seats from his work in a raffle.

Cassie soon realized that their box was right by the Styles Media and Marketing one. The way they were placed, she could see right into their area.

It was just Harry and a woman in there. 

They were obviously a couple and this was the Cruella Deville. Cassie didn’t refer to her as that as she had a bit of a different perspective of the man.

His wife was sipping on a water bottle and cheering loudly with the rest of the fans. Harry watched her with amusement at her excited behavior, at one point pulling his photo out and snapping a picture of her.

When the exciting bit is over, she seats herself on his lap and wriggles until her back is against his chest - comfortable and cozy.

His large palm comes to cup at her stomach, Cassie now seeing that she is clearly pregnant as he cradles the noticeable bump protectively.

For most of the game, his hand never leaves her belly - rubbing circles with his thumb. His head came to rest on her shoulder to watch the game.

They seem so happy together - giggling and talking animatedly throughout. His wife constantly tilting her head back with her lips puckered requesting kisses that Harry happily supplies each time.

At one point, Cassie witnesses Y/N eat two huge corndogs in a row while her husband watches her with humor in his eye. Then goes on to order her a massive spool of candy floss that he feeds her throughout the game.

It was a late game and it was now in overtime. The clock reads nearly eleven at night. Harry’s wife has dozed off against his shoulder and when he notices he gently rouses her.

As she blinks her eyes open, Harry shucks his jacket of his shoulder and helped her slip it on. They must decide to call it a night because he’s helping her up, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, and guiding her out of the box.

Cassie never tells anyone that she saw him that night or what he did to help her family.

The End.

Hope you bubbbies enjoyed. Send me requests for this verse. Smut is up next for this trope.

[bump1nthen1ght]

I’m Still Hurting (F!Reader/M!Orc)

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: (Almost) Infidelity

Word Count: 3376 words

Summary: Your boyfriend does something he’d never thought he’d do, and you’re left to try and pick up the pieces.

Request: can I make a request? About an angst story between an m!orc and f!human. I like the idea of like maybe the orc sorta misses being with other orc women or like she can't fulfill his needs and she hears this. I like the idea of almost infidelity

A/N: Surprise bitches! I’m alive! And back with some delicious angst for y’all!! I really loved doing this request, as I don’t often write full on angst. I am also working on a fluffy request  at the moment, if some of you would like some nice comfort after this haha. Hope y’all enjoy!

Honey ❤️: Babe

Honey ❤️: Babe please answer the phone I need to talk to you

Honey ❤️: I know you’re angry, you should be angry, but please talk to me

Honey ❤️: Baby please

“____? Is that my phone?” Brynn yells from the kitchen, already mixing another cocktail for you to down. Her bright red horns peek over the living room divider, bouncing back as she grabs the alcohol from the fridge. Still looking at your bright screen, you don’t even have the energy to respond.

“____?” You throw your phone away as she peaks her head over, giving her a shameful look. Brynn furrows her brow, pulling away from the kitchen island and putting one hand on her hip. “Was that him?” With your eyes darting back and forth from the pillow you shoved your phone under and Brynn’s face, you nod.

“Y-yeah, it was him.”

Brynn sighs, fiddling with her hands.

“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do, especially not tonight, but I just think-”

“No, no, it’s alright. You’re right, you’re right.” A jolt hits you as your phone vibrates, the vibrations rumbling through the fabric and stabbing right into your stomach. You force yourself to look away, fiddling with your fingers. Brynn shoots you a pitiful look, you’re sure of it, even as your efuse to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t talk to him tonight. Not right now, not when I’m like….this.” A slow, tired breath escapes you. “I’ll make him wait, just like he did.”

The coach cushion bends as Brynn sits next to you, rubbing your shoulder as she leans in for a side each. You accept it, your body like a deadweight as you let yourself go slack in her arms.

“Do you want anything? Chocolate, maybe a movie? I’ve got some leftover cheesecake?”

“A movie sounds nice.” You murmur, nodding against her chest. Brynn hums, her tail coming up and massaging your lower back as she kisses you on the forward.

“Of course, your choice. Do you want me to get your drink?”

You nod once more, letting Brynn untangle herself from the hug and laying back on the couch, grabbing the comfiest blanket and the remote. You quickly flick through you and Brynn’s ‘most watched’ section on Netflix. You need something new tonight, something to get your mind off.

All your regular comfort movies are romances, after all.

By the time Brynn comes back, a rum and coke and a carton of ice cream in hand, you’re already snuggled into a blanket burrito. She hands you a spoon and the glass, which you wordlessly accept. She sits down and throws a hand over your shoulder, trying her best to massage the left over tension in your neck. You sink into the feeling, pressing on your movie of choice.

“Mad Max: Fury Road, huh? I’ve heard this movie’s great.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “It is.”

And chocked full of shitty men getting what they deserve.

As the opening title plays, the deep voice of Tom Hardy kicking the movie off, you snuggle into Brynn’s side. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s drowned out by screaming men and loud engines. Just how you like it.

Honey ❤️: Could you call me in the morning?

Honey ❤️: I’ll leave you alone for the night, I’m sorry

Honey ❤️: I love you

--------

Waruck sighs, his fingers shaking as another small ‘message delivered’ shows up on his screen. No response, just like the last 15 texts. He finds himself typing out another anyway.

I love you so fucking much

It reads, but is quickly deleted. Waruck clicks off his phone, but it stays in his hand, taunting him. The black mirror shows a sad, pathetic boyfriend, getting the silent treatment.

He falls back onto his bed, exhausted from a day of doing nothing. Nothing but worrying and feeling guilty, with the occasional flicking through TV channels and texting his girlfriend.

It’s getting late, his bedside clock cutting through the dark of his room to remind him he’s been up for almost 16 hours now. Waruck slides a hand through his hair and gets up. He’s going to have to camp out in front of the TV, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep tonight.

Not after what he did.

--------

He had gone out with friends. Friends from highschool who he still occasionally chatted with, friends he didn’t even really like anymore. But the past two weeks had him feeling oddly...nostalgic, like something was out of place. So when his buddy Simon had invited him to the bar, he had eagerly accepted.

He remembers grabbing his coat, you sending him a text to have fun, and him not replying. He didn’t know why he didn’t respond, he still doesn’t. The two of you had been going strong for almost 8 months now, with only the occasional hiccup that most couples have. So why didn’t he respond? What made him casually throw your sweet remark to the side like that?

Waruck shakes his head, trying to focus on the movie in front of him. Now isn’t the time to get existential over tiny shit like that, not with how the rest of the night went.

When he met up with the group, Waruck immediately knew that tonight was going to be different. His current group of friends are quite different, less rowdy, than his old posse. At only 10 PM, three of the guys we’re already halfway drunk, saving a spot in line from him outside the noisy bar. The electronic music that thrummed through the concrete and out onto the street reminded him of how much time has passed, how different his usual party-scene is now, and he revels in that feeling of former good-times.

Simon greets him with a hug, the guys shouting his name as he joins them. From the corner of his eye, he sees a gaggle of girls giggling.

And that's where it started.

An orc woman, dressed in a beautiful black dress, winks as she passes him at the bar. Simon nudges his side as Waruck takes a drink.

“Dude, that chick is totally sending you the look”

Waruck furrows his brow, stirring his drink.

“What’s ‘the look’?” He says, taking another sip of his scotch.

Simon rolls his eyes. “The ‘come hit on me’ look dude! That’s the sign you need to go for it!”

“I have a girlfriend, Simon.”

Simon scoffs, throwing his hand out dramatically. “What, that human chick?”

Waruck has half of mind to set down his drink and ask Simon what he means with that sarcastic tone of voice. It pisses him off, but he says nothing, just rolls his eyes.

“No offense, bro, she looks cute and all. But is she really worth missing out on some great ass?”

Waruck grimaces and shoots Simon a dirty look. “Jesus, Simon, are you serious?”

“I’m serious! When was the last time you had fun, y’know? Everyone knows an orc chick can throw down, wild-style.” Simon nudges him in his side, playfully, but it only serves to make Waruck more annoyed. “C’mon, you seriously don’t miss it?”

Waruck should tell him a firm ‘No’, finish his drink, and leave. He should call a cab and go home, call you and rant about his gross misogynistic friend from high school.

But he doesn’t.

The part of him, the part of him that feels slightly off, wonders if this is it. It had been a long time since he had been with another orc. You were a great girlfriend, but so different from in so many ways. Is that it?

Maybe relieving the old days will satisfy whatever longing he has, and then it will leave forever. Would that be so bad, to let loose for one night?

Waruck feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see the orc girl from earlier; The one who sent him ‘the look’.

“Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?”

Between the boosted bass of the music and the orc woman pressing up against him, Waruck doesn’t notice Simon slip away, giving him a pat on the back.

Leave, say no, tell her she’s got the wrong guy, you fucking idiot. His consciousness yells.

“U-uh, sure.” He stutters.

She introduces herself as Naz and says she noticed him the minute he walked in.

“Hard not to notice the best-dressed guy in the room.” She flirts, pressing herself closer and up against him.

He has a thousand little moments like that, to say something; To pull back and apologize, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he slips into a corner booth with her, purposely ignoring the texts you send to check up on him. You had remembered that he wasn’t sure how much fun this night would be, and routinely checked in if he needed a convenient excuse to leave early. You’re sweet like that.

Naz is sweet too. She's a great conversationalist, with a good head on her shoulders and an interesting career in zoology. Waruck could see the two of you being good friends.

Is that why she seems so alluring? Because she’s so similar to you? Waruck’s mind does mental gymnastics to try and justify his hesitance, his compliance in believing that maybe she has something different after all, even though he knows that isn’t true.

The two of them talk for a solid hour and a half, Naz slowly inching herself closer and putting a hand on his knee. His body screams in resistance, his stomach tying up into knots, but he doesn’t push her away.

“So, I’ve got a room not too far from here. What do you say we go make ourselves a bit more comfortable?”

This is his final chance to find an excuse and say goodnight. To run back home and forget this ever happened. But the words are caught in his throat and he’s further silenced by the nearby whooping of his asshole friends.

“Yeah, Waruck! Get some!”

Naz chuckles and mistakenly reads his seething anger at himself with embarrassment for his friends. She leans in, grabbing his jaw, and whispers.

“Let's give them a show, huh?” Then, she kisses him.

The noises of the bar, his friends, and Naz all drown away as her lips mold into his. Waruck’s body goes rigid, terrified as time seems to freeze as he kisses someone who is not his girlfriend.

But all of that stops when your ringtone begins to blast in his pocket. It should be near silent when compared to the pounding bar music, but that familiar jingle seems to cut deep into his skin and skewer his heart. Waruck pulls away with a quick jerk, Naz almost falling over as he pushes himself into his seat and away from her body-heat. Every nerve is a light with tension as he quickly pulls out his phone.

There on the screen is a picture of you, your contact name, “Sweetie❤️”, shining through the dimmed light of that bar. Waruck breathes heavily, feeling like he’s just run an emotional marathon, stuck in his own head until Naz slides away from him.

“Wait, hold on, do you have a girlfriend?”

Waruck looks at her, then looks at his still-ringing phone, then back to Naz. He nods.

Naz's face curls up into obvious disgust, quickly directing her body to be as far away from him as possible. “Fucking hell, dude. What the fuck?” She grabs her handbag and stomps out of the booth, not before throwing her drink in his face and telling him to go to hell.

He almost watches her move across the bar, most likely to go complain to her friends about the asshole she just wasted the last 2 hours chatting up, but all he can focus on is your picture on his phone.

--------

Waruck practically runs out of the bar, his whole body covered in sweat and his mind racing a mile a minute.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He felt like a 15 year old, goaded into another shitty prank just because he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, buying into their weird bullshit about humans. Was he seriously going to throw away your wonderful relationship over one night, over one urge?

Naz had been strikingly beautiful, in all the ways he was taught an orc like himself should look for. She could probably get any guy in that club tonight, but she wasn’t you. You’re different, but in so many cool, inconsequential, uniquely-you ways.

Waruck doesn’t know how long he walks before he sits down outside a cafe, trying to collect his racing emotions. He feels gross, sticky with the kind of sweat you only get after too much alcohol and too many people. The screen of his phone seems to reflect every smudge and finger-print as he swipes it to unlock it, finally getting the courage to read your text messages.

They start off normal, spread out over several hours. The occasional “How are the guys?” and “Hope you are having fun! Just let me know when you get home safe.” before dropping off into nothing. Right up until 20 minutes ago, where you send a short and curt text that has his heart dropping to his stomach.

Sweetie❤️: Can you call me right now?

Sweetie❤️: Waruck, I need to talk to you

Sweetie❤️: Are you still at the bar?

After that is a notification of your missed call from earlier and Waruck can’t help but feel  guilt stir in his gut.

It could be nothing, something unrelated to what he almost did tonight. But the notification he gets from his Instagram says otherwise. It says a mutual of his tagged him in a photo 30 minutes ago.

Waruck feels like vomiting when he opens up Simon’s story and sees a shaky picture of Naz, draped over him in the corner booth, with him looking all too happy to have her there. The caption reads

“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight 🤣🤣 #BoysNight20XX”

But what comes next is even worse; An even blurrier photo of Naz kissing him, both of their eyes closed as she almost sits in his lap.

Waruck can’t even look at the caption, quickly exiting out of the app and calling you.

He needs to explain himself.

But what will he say?

The phone rings, rings, rings….

Waruck waits with bated breath, thinking you’re going to let it go to voicemail, but you answer. There is no cheerful “Hi Babe” or even a tired and drawn-out “Hey.” Instead all Waruck hears is a shaky sigh, waiting for an explanation.

The words stay caught in Warucks throat, trying to find a way to maneuver and swing around to a solid excuse, a lie he hopes you won’t catch.

But he can’t, he can’t. Not to you.

So you make it easy for him, like you always do, and start the conversation off instead.

“Were you flirting with that girl?”

Waruck’s mind doesn’t give him a choice, the truth already spilling out like a tidal wave.

“Yes.”

Waruck hears you suck in a breath, before you shakily ask once more,

“Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her back?”

“Yes.”

There's 15 seconds of brutal silence as Waruck sits with his confession. In the moment, Waruck feels like he can hear your pounding heartbeat through the receiver.

You hang up.

---------

You hate the weather outside for two reasons.

One: You had far too much rum last night to enjoy any amount of sunlight. And,

Two: On a terrible morning like this one, it feels unfair that there aren't any dramatic thunder storms.

The bell rings on the cafe door as you walk in, causing you to wince as you pull down your sunglasses.

Thank god for the low lighting of these cafes.

You rub your brow, eyes scanning the menu above the bar. Some caffeine should do you good, at least with your headache.

But when you spot him, tucked away at a table, tapping his foot, all that aching pain seems to fall to your subconscious. Before you can meet eyes, you look away, forcing yourself to re-read the menu and blink away your tears.

You face the inevitable when you put in your order, turning to walk towards Waruck. He’s locked his gaze into the wood grain of the table, his large body hunched up and small, like he wants to sink into the shadows. He looks like shit, with large bags under his eyes and a nervous tension in his face.

He startles when you pull out a chair, sitting down across from him, but quickly curls back into his ball of shame. He looks so guilty, a small part of you wants to comfort him and tell him it’ll be alright.

You punch away that part of you with a baseball bat.

“Why did you flirt with her?”

Waruck says nothing. He looks at you with his tired eyes, big and racked with guilt.

I don’t know. They whisper.

Your fingers dig into your jeans, anger boiling up and through your nerves.

That’s not a good enough answer.

“Were you,” You suck in a breath, trying to control your volume, “Were you going to sleep with her? If I hadn’t called you, would you have-”

“No!” Waruck nearly shouts, shaking the table as his knees bang against the bottom, but he recoils once he sees the way you flinch. “No, I wasn’t going to.”

Those pesky tears press against your eyelids once more. You can feel your nails digging indents into your thighs.

“I don’t know if  I can believe that.” You whisper, failing to catch the crack in your voice.

Waruck’s brow furrows as he nervously chews his bottom lip. He tries to meet your gaze, but you seem to look right through him.

“I know.” Waruck sighs, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

There's a tenuous silence; Waruck tries to find the words to fix things  while you focus on the details of the cafe walls, examining every nook and cranny as you try not to sob.

“I-I understand if you don’t trust me. I understand if you hate me, or you want to break up. But please, please know that I love you, and that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been kicking myself over flirting with that girl because I love you so fucking much. I-”

You hold up your hand, stopping Waruck in his tracks. He realizes how loud he’s been talking and that people are beginning to stare. He huddles back into his corner, tucking his hands into his lap. You let out a long breath. Waruck takes the risk and looks up.

When his eyes finally meet yours, he realizes just how sad you look. A treacherous tear has begun falling down your cheek, sending a lightning bolt of remorse into Waruck’s chest.

You take in another deep breath, wiping away the tear with the back of your hand. You look at Waruck, exhausted.

“I don’t,”  You falter, but catch yourself, “I don’t want to break up with you. I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet.”

Waruck nods, fiddling with his fingers.

“Of course, I get it-”

“I’m not done.” Waruck quickly shuts his mouth. “You hurt me, Waruck. Hurt me in a way I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So I need time. Time before I can even see you again without thinking,” You hiccup, but this time you let the wave of emotion hit you, full force.  “Without thinking about that night.”

A lady calls out your order, but neither of you makes a move. You sit in each other's presence, trying to wrap yourselves around the mess of emotions, trying to read the others mind without seeming too obvious.

You both sit here, in the presence of something that's been broken, damaged in a way that’s cut the heart of your chest and slams them on the table. There’s a crack that runs down between you two, inching open more and more with each breath.

But somehow, somehow, you both think you have a chance of fixing it.

[my-amygdala-is-synthetic]

okay I'm spewing my thoughts into a text post (there sure are a lot of them)

like I said I had seen almost ZERO spoilers for this movie, somehow, I was going in blind and that made it SUCH a treat. the only spoilers I knew were that Ned Does Magic and the other spidermen + Otto were there. I didn't even know about the villains, I figured Norman shows up but I deadass thought it would be like, a cameo

anyways lets start out with why it sucked

No Way Home is... not a good movie. it is objectively a pretty bad movie, in fact. there is zero substance beyond pandering fanservice.

and even then. the fanservice is kind of bad! everyone is painfully out of character! it is so obvious that they all just showed up for a disney paycheck. it hurts my heart to hear Alfred Molina doing mcu quips. the "throwback lines" were stupid asf I groaned out loud every time except when Tobey said mY bAcK but sorry im a simp

I think Flint Marco was the most in character but even then he had some questionable writing. yassified Electro was so fucking funny, I can't even complain about his glowup, Jamie Foxx rly said yeah I'll be in the movie but you gotta right some wrongs. I respect that

I have never like Doctor Strange, Benderbump Cumdumpass has SUCH A HORRIBLE american accent it pisses me off so badly. and why was he so smooth in this? he looked like he was from a video game? it was very odd. thankfully he wasn't in it as much as I feared, and he had like two lines that made me giggle so I'll accept it

Marvel movies have set feminism back by 30 years on god. there's no reason for there to be only three women in a cast this size. Zendaya at least had better characterization in this than in HC/FFH. but mcu Aunt May is done so dirty. it is legitimately offensive how she's made into a one-note AUNT MAY IS HOT NOW joke. the purpose of her character is supposed to be Peter's rock to rely on. they did not lean to that dynamic enough and it made her death so much less impactful, I kinda dgaf about it honestly! I thought Gwen's death was more emotional and I despised TASM2!

the action was not good, poorly choreographed, very boring, CGI :/

ALL THAT ASIDE, THE SHIT I LIKED!!!

because YES, it is a bad movie, BUT FUCK THAT WAS SUCH A FUN THEATER EXPERIENCE, not QUITE as much fun as I had in the theater with Spiderman 3, but such a cool vibe that I haven't felt since Endgame (sorry to be marvel's little bitch but yeah seeing that movie opening night was one of the coolest things ever)

Peter/Ned/MJ are such a cute polycule, sure it's no raimiverse throuple but who could ever live up to that.

when Connors was like "THAT'S his gf???" I laughed so hard cus I am also constantly wondering how Tom pulled her

I would also jump off the statue of liberty to save Zendaya, I really liked that Garf got to catch her I may have cheered

the old man yaoi with Otto and Norman was fun, I get why everyone ships them now, not quite my bag but I do see the appeal.

getting any reference at all to Harry was such a treat. I really thought they were just gonna pretend he didn't exist lol. fuck janco I hope he rots but it's for the best... mcu would have massacred his character. that being said "I had a best friend once, he died in my arms after he tried to kill me" I was simultaneously bursting into tears and laughing my ass off

WHERE THE FUCK WAS DANE DEHAAN THO... HELLO. I actually liked his version of Harry sorry!!

so at first I thought that the other Peters were also kind of ooc, Garf and Tobey should NOT be speaking in complete sentences!! but I thought about it and I think that actually they do feel like more matured versions of their characters.

the Mary Jane reference was nice but wow you really couldn't have Kirsten Dunst show up for just a second :( pay her some RESPECT as the first mistreated marvel girlie...

and the spideycest... WELL... I'm not going to draw yaoi of the three peters, I'm not, I'M NOT, but, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. lol. I gave this movie 3 stars on letterboxd and it would have been FUCKING TWO if it was not for the webshooter discussion. that was insane. that was out of pocket. that was beautiful and brave and they did that for the freaks like me out there.

anyways that was so much fun, I got so tipsed off canned cocktails and I did cry ONE tear at the end and I am extra sad that it's all over, I wish I could go see all the Spidermans in theaters again, this has made my fucking year and I'm so glad I did this!

^Ten times I saw the Bad Boys Ride Or Die trailer. I can recite that mf from memory now.

Now it is time to draw weird things yay bye. sorry if you read all this lol.

GUYS IM IN THE THEATER RIGHT NOW TO SEE NO WAY HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME

I have a feeling I won't like it I'm gonna be booing Doctor Strange and I'm only here for Tobey

[spidernerdsblog]

Hey dear💟 how are you? Can I ask for some mob!tom smut?? Like he's smoking a cigar at a boring wedding when he meets a mob!reader and after talking a bit things just happen and he takes her home for fucking all night?

Oh and ends in fluff??

Hi nonnie! I'm fine hope you are well too. Here's your request hope you like this.

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Mob! Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, mature content, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

His Queen, Her King

Being the mob boss Tom had to be a part of various social gatherings, galas, parties etc but the most he dreaded were weddings. Especially when you're an eligible bachelor, people around you are constantly nagging you with the most evident question ‘when is your turn?’ There were several occasions where the leaders of other mobs had tried to set him up with their daughters to forge an alliance but he would turn them down every time because he never found them to be his match. He likes to be in control but that doesn’t mean he would settle for a mere puppet who would dress up pretty and do as told, he wanted someone powerful, fierce who would challenge his authority, a real queen to his vast empire.  

It was one of his childhood friends' wedding day so he couldn't say no. The hall was buzzing with people as he was seated with a couple of his friends at a table drinking and laughing loudly talking about their busy lives and their businesses. One hour to the wedding reception and Tom was already bored he lit up a cigar and took a long puff from it watching everyone silently. 

Just then you walk in through the doors in a long red silk dress hugging your body like a second skin with a thigh high slit paired with pointed stilettos making heads turn. Your hair styled into loose curls cascading down your shoulders complimenting your dewy makeup. Your wrists and ears sparkling with the most priceless authentic diamonds.  Apart from being the maid of honor you are the only woman in the mob business who owns the biggest diamond business in the country. 

People were obviously envious of your power though they never dare to say anything to your face but you have heard how people think you just got lucky with the business as the only daughter of your father, women have no place in the mob even to the extent of being slut shamed and being accused of sleeping with your rivals to run the business. You had simply shrugged it off and showed those people with a flourishing business and earning double profits than your father used to earn when he used to run the mob. You walk over to your best friend.

“Congratulations Jane, finally you’re a married woman now!” you give her a hug.

“Thanks Y/N it feels like a dream honestly” she chirps “but when are you…”

“Please you also don’t start” you both chuckled and continued gossiping.

“Man why are these receptions so dull and boring” Matt groaned “couldn’t they do it at a bar or strip club?”

“Yeah it would have been fun to watch your wife beat the shit out of you after you flirted with one of the strippers” Carl mocked to which everyone laughed out loud including Tom.

“Hey!!” Matt revolted in protest as all of them laughed again.

Your conversation was constantly getting disturbed with their constant brawls and loud laughter. Even the other guests had a frown on their face with the noise they were making.

“I apologize on behalf of my friends, they can sometimes be a little loud” Paul the groom said apologetically.

"It’s ok I know how to deal with guys like them. Let me handle it” You offer and stride your way to their table. 

“Sorry to crash the fun boys but some of us are actually here to attend the reception not to hear your meaningless chatter” you jibe forcing a smile as the men turn their attention towards you. Tom puts down his cigar blowing out the smoke as he takes a quick glance of you.

“I'm sorry love, are we offending you?” he remarks with a smolder and the men around him hollered. The corner of your lips quirk into a sly smirk as you step closer to him drawing a finger along his jawline.

“It will take a lot more than this baby face to offend me” you taunt him back with a grin amusing everyone including Tom at your comeback.

“Oooh damn!” the men hollered again while you turned your back and strutted off to join your friends again. Tom just sat there completely blown away by your boldness. He had heard about you but now that he saw you he understood that you weren’t just a beautiful face after all who just got lucky in the mob business you were a complete badass. The very image of you radiates power and triumph. 

His eyes seeked yours the whole time and then he found you finally all by yourself near the open bar drinking a glass of whisky. He approaches you as he clears his throat.

“Ahem, hey” you lift your eyes from the glass and then put it down on the counter smacking your lips.

“Here to apologise for being a jerk?” you quip.

“I thought we were even already” he remarks with a smug grin.

“Yeah maybe” you half shrug

“Tom Holland by the way” he reaches his hand out and you dismiss it by picking your glass again and taking a sip. 

“I know who you are, the boss of the most powerful mob in London” you say nonchalantly

“Keeping tabs I see” he smirks as he signals the bartender to hand him a drink as well.

“It’s a risky business Holland you gotta keep records about your potential rivals” you state blandly.

“Absolutely, couldn’t agree more” he takes a sip wincing at the strong taste of the drink. 

“So all alone? Bossman didn’t get any arm candy for the night?” you snicker.

“Only a queen fits beside a king like me darling and I haven’t found one yet , what about you?”

“Well I haven’t found my king either” you clink your glass to his as you both gulp down your drinks.

“You look ravishing in that dress I must say” he compliments with a suave in his voice.

“Thank you. You don’t look bad either” you flirt back as you bite the corner of your lip checking him dressed in an Armani suit the Rolex on his wrist glinting in the golden light of the chandeliers.  

“I really admire you. Honestly it’s really hard and dangerous to run a business when you’re a woman” there was a different kind of sparkle in his eyes which you recognize very well.

“What can I say I just love playing with danger” you shrug with sass in your voice. 

“You wanna get out of here? I’m sure nobody will miss us” he licks his lips eyes darkening with pure desire. 

“Well what are we waiting for?” you smirk with a mischievous glint in your eyes both of you coming to a silent agreement.

The whole ride to his mansion was a blur as soon as you were inside he had you pinned up against the door as his lips met yours hungrily. His lips tasted of burnt cigar and whisky.  He started leaving trails of kisses on your jaw and neck while his hand snaked down to your thighs through the slit of your dress unclasping the thigh holster from your leg as it dropped on the ground with a loud clatter. His hand moved further to your flimsy lace thong to feel your sex. 

“So wet already, love? I haven't even touched you properly” you can hear the smirk in his voice. His hand goes to unzip your dress as he leans in for a kiss but you stop him placing two fingers on his lips slowly tracing them. 

“Bedroom?” you ask breathing heavily.

“Upstairs left” he informs between shallow breaths.

You gave him a peck on his cheek and made your way up the stairs. Tom’s eyes never left you as he watched you slide the thin straps of your dress off your shoulders and dropping it off on the floor striding away in just your strapless bra and thong your heels clacking against the marble floor. Tom scoffed in amusement a toothy grin forming on his face . You were really something who was just driving him crazy.

The moment he walked in the bedroom he felt himself twitch inside his pants. There you were sitting in the middle at the edge of the bed slightly leaning on your palms with your legs crossed one above the other. You looked like a viscous siren slowly entrapping him with your charm and beauty. 

“Nice bedroom” You gently smoothed the silk sheets with your hand.

“Glad you liked it” he said smiling.

“Are you just gonna stand over there?” You unclipped your bra and lazily dropped it on the floor putting on a show for him as you lifted a hand pointing a finger motioning him to come closer. A low groan escaped from his mouth at the sight of your exposed breasts as he strolled towards you unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his body drinking in your almost naked form with lustful eyes. You subconsciously licked your lips marveling his taut muscles. He tilted your chin up as you gazed in his brown eyes with parted lips.

“God you’re gonna be the death of me” he mumbles in a husky voice.

“That was the plan all the time, I can then take over your mob” you giggle playfully.

“You minx” he knelt down to capture your red tinted lips passionately tongues clashing against each other as you ran your fingers across his abdomen, nails scraping his skin. He gently pushes you down on the mattress as you shift back in the middle of the bed. He spreads your legs to accommodate himself as he crawls up to be at level to your face pressing a soft kiss to your swollen lips. Goosebumps covered your skin as you felt his bulge brushing on your thighs. You tilted your head to the side as he took the opportunity to suck marks on the nape of your neck. One hand squeezing your ass the other palming your breast as he placed butterfly kisses all over your skin.

“So pretty” he mumbles, pressing kisses between the valley of your breasts,you shuddered when he flicked his tongue over your sensitive bud.

“Oh” you gasped when he wrapped his mouth around your breast sucking the nipple between his teeth, kneading the other fingers pinching and tugging on it. After paying equal attention to the other one too before continuing his journey south. Your stomach flutters as his lips trail down your rib cage, navel the cold gold chain dangling down his neck feeling ticklish against your hot skin. He placed a soft kiss over your soaked panties and you felt that your body was set to fire as you gasped lightly chest heaving up and down. A smirk forms on his face as he moves to kiss your inner thighs ignoring the place where you needed him the most.

“Please” you let out a quiet whimper

“Please what darling?” he whispers with a husky voice. 

“Touch me” 

“I’m touching you love” he lightly chuckles, you whined in protest. “You gotta be more specific with your demands, love, what do you need?” he coos.

“I-I need you, your mouth” you breathed out. 

“See that wasn’t so hard” he practically rips off your thong and throws the shredded fabric away letting out a low growl at the sight of your glistening cunt. He hooked his arms to your thighs, the rings on his fingers felt cold against your skin. He licks a long stripe up your folds sending jolts of pleasure up your body making you squirm in his hold.

“So sweet” he mumbles against your heat. You let out a soft gasp, your hands threading into his soft brown curls as he swirled his tongue through your folds.

You cry out when his tongue flicks your swollen clit giving his hair a harsh tug he groans into your heat. He continued to suck on your clit between his lips pushing a thick digit inside you. Your body arched bucking your hips into his mouth he had to place a hand on your lower stomach to keep you in place. He then adds another finger pumping it in and out of you his teeth grazing your sensitive bud soothing it after with his tongue immediately. 

“Fuck!” You moaned feeling euphoric eyes fluttering shut as he devoured you. Your body tensed up when he added another finger to your heat, your one hand was pulling his hair painfully and the other squeezing your breast rolling your nipple between your fingers. He curled his fingers hitting your spot sending you over the edge.

“C’mon love, let it go want you to cum all over my fingers” he moaned into your heat the vibrations leading you to tumble down the edge as you came undone around his fingers. He helped you ride your high still sucking on your clit, your legs trembled as he lapped up all your juices. He pulled away after sometime his chin glistening with your arousal. 

He got rid of his dress pants along with his boxers and then crawled over to you. You gazed into his warm brown eyes still in your post orgasmic haze as you pulled him down to capture his lips with an urgent need. You tasted yourself on his lips as he deepened the kiss grinding his hips into yours. 

A soft gasp escaped your lips when you felt the tip of his member brushed against your entrance. He gripped his member giving it a few pumps before lining up against your core. You placed a hand flat on his stomach signalling him to stop. He knitted his brow in confusion when you flipped him over to be on top him sitting on the back of your knee straddling his waist. 

“I wanna ride you” you whisper in a sultry voice and his lips curl up to a smirk.

“Then go ahead, darling” he shuffles back a little resting himself comfortably against the headboard. You brought your hand to your mouth and gave it lick before grabbing his member using it for lubrication, slowly pumping his length and lining it up to your weeping core. Your breath hitched when you felt his tip slide through your entrance stretching your walls in a nice way. You slowly sank down on his length feeling so full of him. You stayed like that, your walls warm and snug squeezing him like a vice. Tom groaned when you clenched around him. 

“Oh god Y/N please move or I'm not gonna last for another minute” you leaned down to kiss him starting to move your hips slowly adjusting to his thick shaft.

“Shit” He hissed as you lifted yourself hand gripping on his thighs for leverage to go a little faster, the soft sound of your skin slapping against each other filled the room. Your stomach clenched as you paced up and down his cock, each time filling you up to the hilt. His hands held your hips, fingers digging in your skin groans rumbled in Tom’s throat as he clenched his jaw. He gazed at you with hooded eyes smitten by the way your back arches towards him and your tits bounce with every thrust.

You started to feel a little exhausted, a thin sheen of sweat lining your bodies as you slowed down your pace. Tom’s hands slid down to your ass, spreading your cheeks as he took control, thrusting up into you. You jolted forward moaning out loud, grasping on to his shoulders tightly for support. 

“Just because you're on the top don't think you're in control darling” he says cheekily you let out a light chuckle at his comment before whimpering when his cock hit your sweet spot.

He lifted his knees, planting the heels of his feet into the mattress for leverage as he began to fuck you roughly. He grunted, feeling your walls clench around his cock with every thrust of his hips. You leaned down to kiss him sloppily he reciprocates by slipping his tongue into your mouth swirling it inside your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as you felt a tight knot build inside your stomach.

“Tom” you moan breathlessly, eyes squeezing shut as your hands slide down his shoulder to his chest nails scratching his skin.

“Gonna cum again for me love?” Tom murmured against your lips as he spanked your ass lightly. You nodded your head vigorously starting to roll your hips desperately. He brought his thumb to your swollen clit and rubbed circles as the coil inside you snapped and you screamed out your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. Tom wasn’t too far either as he continued rutting his hips and soon he was spilling inside you.

“Fuck.” He moaned as his face screwed up in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing as he emptied his seed into your tight pussy, not letting go of his grip on your body. You collapsed onto his chest panting both of you catching your breath, your walls still pulsating around his cock, deeply buried inside you. He caressed your back gently, your chest pressed to his, head resting over his heart as you listened to his steady heartbeat while your fingers fiddled with the chain around his neck. He took your hand and kissed on your knuckles gently brushing his thumb over them lovingly.

“I really like you” he finally spoke out

“What?” you frowned, still a bit dizzy.

“I think I have fallen in love with you Y/N” he confesses softly as you straighten yourself to look him in the eyes.

“Are you asking me out when you are literally balls deep inside me?” you snicker raising your eyebrows.

“I’m serious Y/N” he cradles your face with both of his hands “the moment I saw you I knew you are the one I have been waiting for all my life. A strong, independent and fearless woman who doesn’t need anyone, you are a hell of a queen, Y/N. I want this queen to be only mine, together we can rule the world love. I don’t want this to be a one night thing I want to make love to you every night, kiss every inch of your body and appreciate you, adore you” he rants

“The last part sounded a little creepy though” you chuckled “Well I do like you too my king let’s just take things slow and see where it goes maybe?”

“Sure my queen” he smiles as you kiss him softly.

................................................................................

[bellewritesstuff]

UNDER THE SAME STARS • TOMMYINNIT

heyyy i just posted a fanfiction on wattpad, and here’s the preface to it! pls check it out and i hope u enjoy!! 😻

TOMMY WITHOUT HESITATION COULD RECALL THE DAY WHEN HE MET LORELAI FOR THE FIRST TIME. not only because she immediately became one of his best friends, but he would consider it as the best day of his entire life.

it had taken place during one of his unexpected, chill streams on the alt account. he was casually messing around the server while telling some (in his opinion) funny stories, but as the time passed everyone started to get bored.

"let's see if sapnap is down for a round or two games in valorant." he let a small sigh out, before joining the vc with dream, sapnap, and deafened karl. "why the fuck are you two here? can't you just talk to each other in the living room or some shit?"

"hi tommy" dream chuckled as tommy finished his sentence. "we're on a minecraft date, and you're kind of interrupting us right now, dude." the oldest boy added, trying to muffle his laugh.

"eww, man. i'm almost the same age as your younger sister, what the heck?" hearing the unknown voice, tommy shifted his gaze from the game to their discord server (just to check if he had mistaken someone for sapnap). "hello tommy, i'm rory, sapnap's sister. it's a huge pleasure to meet you." the girl added, making his lips curl up into a small smile.

"SEE, CHAT? women love me and think it's a HUGE pleasure to meet me." tommy exclaimed looking into his webcam with a wide grin. "it's a pleasure to meet you as well, rory. down for some valorant?" his voice sounded so pleasantly chill, and calm as he spoke, logging into the riot client.

lorelai genuinely enjoyed tom's videos, especially the ones on his vlog channel. she would watch them every time she felt miserable, because of his friend group's humor. and well, how could she say no?

"under one condition," he hummed in response. "you gotta carry me, cause i'm in a low elo." she added, making him chuckle lightly.

"of course, woman, dream what about y- CHAT, I'M NOT A SIMP STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT."

it's been a few minutes, and after exchanging riot ids, spending a good two minutes in a queue, they finally started a game. dream decided to stay in a call with the two, muting himself eventually.

"someone take sage, we need sage" an unknown voice spoke in a team voice chat, causing rory to roll her eyes. "then you shouldn't insta lock jett asshole" she spoke annoyed, making tommy giggle a little.

"it's okay, i'll be sage" he locked in, waiting for a girl to pick an agent. "not gonna heal them tho" the boy rolled his eyes playfully.

dnf4life yoo tommy's a pocket sage??

jodienottaken imagine instalocking and then talking about team comp🤕🤕🤕

"your chat is spilling facts" lorelai claimed, locking in raze. "you're watching my stream right now?" he questioned a bit shocked. "yeah, i usually watch you while playing."

"YO GOOD JOB TOMMY!" rory shouted, clapping her hands as he aced the second round in a row. "i didn't expect you to be that good, oh my lord." she exclaimed joyously.

for the chat, it seemed like they'd known each other for a while now, without unnecessary awkwardness in the air, with constant jokes, and good communication during games. for the girl it was like a dream she didn't want to wake up from, playing with someone she felt she clicked with so much was way funnier than playing alone.

"yeah- hahaha, i, i bet it's just luck" he blushed lightly, almost impossible to notice, but some people had, and rory was one of them. "wait i'll revive you" his character placed a wall in front of them, before reviving her.

"thank you!" the girl remarked as she crouched happily, shooting at someone who tried to kill her new friend. "m gonna protect you, tommy, don't worry".

"i am a pocket sage, then." he stated before both of them burst into laughter.

after some won (and some lost) games, he finally ended his stream, making sure that the girl he was talking to earlier, would stay on a call with him. he couldn't know why, but something about her that interested him.

maybe it's because they clicked so fast, or because he hasn't really met any girl his age that he could play games with. it felt like he's known her his entire life, and leaving their call was the last thing he wanted to do.

"hey, um, i hope i didn't make you uncomfortable." tommy mumbled in his normal, non-streaming voice. "if i did, it was unintentional. i had sometimes forgotten that it's our first talk." he added, causing rory to smile.

"ahh, no, don't worry about it." she chuckled. "i had real fun talking to you. it seems so unreal, cause i feel like i've known you since always." rory added, her cheeks beginning to feel warmer.

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" he laughed softly, switching his screen to their call. "we've been talking for six hours now, oh my god."

"wait, isn't it 1am for you right now?"

"yeah, but it's okay. i enjoy talking to you" the boy spoke cheerfully, logging into the dream smp (that he made for him and his friends). "by the way, would you like to give me your own discord? so we can talk later?"

and after that, they were talking for the next three hours straight, without a single moment of unpleasant silence. the two would probably be even longer if it wasn't for sapnap who burst into the room, causing them to end the call.

"how long have you been talking?" sapnap asked, looking at his younger sister suspiciously. "you've been sitting here for nine hours straight?" he added in shock.

jodie 💨 | @jodienottaken

ayo is it me or tommy and rory seem like best friends material?

[ 217 likes | 57 retweets ]

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🌌 | @lifebythesky

VOUCH!! they're so cute together smh

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berry | @karlhonkers

tommy being her pocket sage tho🥺

ro | @abcderory

how did i gain so much followers over a few hours?

oh no, you guys found me already 💀

[ 10k likes | 2k retweets ]

(there’s another 3 parts on wattpad tho so pla check it if u enjoyed it!)

the fanfiction —> here

[parkers-gal]

fluffy hair

wc: 1.2k (fluff)

tom x ag!reader - tom joins the reader in her interview

"Y/N! It's been awhile!" Zach greeted you through the screen, and you laughed, nodding your head. 

"I miss you guys there, in the studio. How is everything?"

"Good, good. Everything's chill here. What about you? Album release and all that?"

You giggled again, shrugging. "It was fun, low key, and safe."

"Good, glad to hear that. Should we start?"

"Let's, yes." 

"Great. I am so obsessed with this record; we're just gonna go down the line for each song." 

"Got it, sounds like a plan." You laughed, looking behind camera, and Zach took note of it before continuing. 

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?" you laughed at him, and he went wide eyed. 

"Oh! No, no, no, I meant the track, the intro-"

"OH," you laughed again, face palming yourself. "Duh, obviously. Continue."

"Right. It's very... melodic, with what, the strings and everything. And your voice cuts in and just tells all those haters to shut up and- what was the meaning behind that?"

You laughed, looking off camera to Tom for a split second before answering. "Well, I mean. With everything happening, it's hard not to tell people to just like," you put your hands up, palms outward in a stop position. "to just- shut the fuck up, y'know? We're fighting for our lives, all these white, straight old... men."

Zach laughed, nodding, and the conversation continued until you switched subjects to the next song. 

"Thirty-four plus thirty-five," he state with a grin. "Now what's that about." 

You laughed loudly, shaking your head at Tom while he told you a joke. 

"Is someone back there?" Zach cut in with a laugh. "They can join if you'd like."

You looked to Tom before shrugging sheepishly, and he rolled his eyes before plopping next to you on the beanbag. 

"This is Tom, the inspiration."

"Y/N!"

You laughed, looking to the camera. "I'm joking, joking," you kissed his forehead, ruffling his hair. "He's my lovely little boyfriend."

"Mhm," he hummed in satisfaction. 

You went on to answer the question, "Well, when Peter sent some string samples over, I heard this one and it was so pure and sweet and completely.. Disney, if you will. And I was sitting with Scotty and Tom and I was like 'what's the dirtiest thing we can write with this?' and well, we got thirty-four thirty-five."

Zach laughed, "So it's not based on real life?"

You laughed before Michael, the other interviewer, cut in with a comment. 

"I actually didn't know it was about sixty-nine until the outro," he laughed, and so did you. 

"Ah- good, that's good actually. Enjoy it without being told how you're supposed to interpret it."

"Did Tom contribute anything to the song? Let's- let's go in depth with the lyrics and how you came up with them."

You laughed again before answering. "Well, I was working on the first verse with Scotty and I was like 'what the fuck can we put here?' and he- he jokingly said 'gimme them babies' and I was like 'holy shit that's perfect. That's going in. We're not changing that.'" You looked to Tom, whose arm was around your waist. "Tommy came in not long after that and wrote the pre-chorus. He was so intent on putting the 'I been drinking coffee,' part. It ended up being my favorite out of the song. He was in the studio with me when we recorded that, basically telling me how to sing it. It was hilarious and scary how bossy and smart he was about producing a song."

Tom rolled his eyes, kissing your temple. 

"Is that true, Tom?"

Tom blushed as he answered. "Yeah. She had just gotten new string samples and she was super excited about and I just- I wanted to be there, make memories. Especially since, at the time, I wasn't working." 

"Tom what's your favorite track?" 

"I think," he thought for a moment. "Well I like all of them, but I like 'my hair' a lot."

"Also inspired by him," You cut in cheekily, and he eyed you with a playful glare. 

"Did you contribute on a lot of tracks?"

"Oh for sure," Tom nodded. "It was quite an experience; doing music instead of acting. It's so strange to me, but it was amazing fun."

"Which track did you do the most work on."

You laughed, and Tom rolled his eyes. 

"Probably 'nasty.'"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was there when she was recording vocals, and I just kept telling her to do it again."

"That's actually," you interrupted with a laugh. "that's actually where that intro line is from. 'This bitch really gon' make me,'" you quoted. "because he kept making me doing it again and again and it was hilarious."

"I want to talk about.. six-thirty."

"Okay," you nodded with a smile. "Good track."

"What does it mean? Like the title?"

"Well on a clock," you were motioning with your hands. "The hands are pointing down at six-thirty."

Both of the interviewers oh'ed loudly, laughing at how they hadn't figured it out. 

"The bridge in there, I love it so much."

"Thank you, thank you."

"Do you think you've found that person you can play video games with at two A.M.?"

You glanced to Tom with a gentle smile, eyes softening too. "Yeah," you looked to the camera. "For sure, I think I have."

To was giddy at your response, subtly pulling you closer into his side and kissing your temple again. 

"Now let's talk about the positions music video."

"Oh this should be fun," Tom commented, and you laughed at him. 

"I'm sure everyone else interpreted the title much differently than you did." 

You laughed, nodding. "Probably."

"How'd you come up with the concept?"

"Oh, obviously the real world. We need people like that in office- like, imagine if that were the Cabinet of the White House? Women and gays and trans and everyone. I think we're in desperate need of a reboot."

Zach laughed, agreeing. "A reboot of the Cabinet. I like it, and you're absolutely right," he looked to the monitor. "At the end there, you were giving a medal to a postal worker."

"Yeah," you clasped your hands together in excitement. "I think the US postal service has definitely taken a huge hit this year. They've suffered a great deal; I think including that in my video was almost essential. They need to be recognized and acknowledged."

"But also like the step stool," Tom cut in with a laugh. "She was too short for the postal worker and they were like 'we don't have higher heels,' so I brought that out."

"You twat," you laughed, grabbing his nose lightly like in a child's game. 

He huffed, laughing, pulling you closer and kissing the tip of your nose in response. 

"Can we talk about my hair before we end this lovely interview?" Zach asked once the two of you settled down. 

"By all means."

"We'll get to those whistles in a moment, but the whole song is so.. intimate. Have you found someone like that? To- to appreciate your hair in all forms and designs?"

You looked at Tom again, and he blushed, already knowing your answer. 

"Yeah, yeah I have. My boyfriend just loves my hair, all styles and colors. It's nice, because I feel like the world doesn't really... see my true hair? But Tommy loves it dearly. It's a special place in my heart for that kind of love." 

Tom smiled, head tilting and eyes crinkling, and you ruffled his chocolate curls. 

"Also though, I really love his hair. Fluffy."

[ptergwen]

positions

w/c: 2k

warnings: smut but there’s fluff toooo

a/n: literally based this whole os off positions by ariana bc if y’all didn’t know i love her and the song came out yesterday it’s so so good go stream and YEAH everyone enjoy

-

“it’s been so lovely to meet you, y/n.” nikki gives you a warm smile and reaches over tom to put a hand on your arm. tom squeezes your side from his spot next to you. he’s sitting between the two most important women in his life. leaning into him more, you return the smile.

“you, too. i’m really happy we could do this,” you agree. “tom’s a lucky guy, eh?” she raises an eyebrow. “i am. almost as lucky as dad.” he beams and kisses the side of your head. your nose scrunches up. “oh, you two. do you really have to go so soon?” you look at tom to confirm. “don’t you have a call in the morning?” considering it for a second, he shrugs. “we can stay another hour.”

nikki pats your arm and shifts her gaze to tom. “why don’t you spend the night? you do have a room and wifi here.” now he’s looking at you to see what you think. you smile a little in response. “sure, mum. that would be perfect.” she nods, proud of her idea. “should we make that dessert i was talking about, then?”

tom sits at the kitchen table while you and nikki do the baking. you’re using a cake recipe she got from one of her friends. all three of you figured he’d end up burning it. she tells you stories from when tom was a kid, and he interjects whenever something embarrassing comes up. you can’t help but giggle about the time he fell off the stage during a school play.

“and he was in a tree costume. his head got stuck in the trunk hole,” nikki nudges you, both of you laughing. tom hides his face in his hands. “it was hard! you try dancing in one of those things.” “aw, tom. maybe no one noticed.” you crack an egg into the bowl with a snort. he sighs. “they had to stop the show.”

the cake is in the oven four embarrassing stories later. you were going to help nikki clean up, but she insisted you go relax. she almost had to push you out of the kitchen. the woman is a saint honestly, and now you see where tom gets it from. the two of you are back on the couch while she does the dishes.

“thanks for coming tonight. it means a lot to me.” tom leans his head against yours, which is resting on his shoulder. “and mum.” “of course. i wanted to, you know.” you nuzzle your cheek against him. he lets out a breath and grins. “she really likes you. loves you, even.” a smile pulls at your lips. “really?”

“mhm. she wouldn’t have asked you to stay if she didn’t.” his fingers trace random shapes on your thigh. you hum in content. “we would’ve been kicked out by now.” “it’s technically your house still,” you deadpan, but it’s lighthearted. “mm, but we have ours.” that makes you feel so soft and warm. you’re just so in love with him. he’s even more in love with you.

you tilt your head up to peck tom’s lips. he gives you another kiss back. “i love you.” “i love you, too,” he murmurs. he’s about to go in for a proper kiss when nikki peeks her head out from behind the wall. she looks between you both knowingly. “cake’s done.”

the three of you head back to the kitchen together. tom takes the seat the farthest away from everyone this time. he’s a little embarrassed his mom almost saw that. he looks you up and down when you bend over to take the cake out of the oven. feeling his eyes on you, you glance over your shoulder when you stand up. he licks his lips. you bite back a smile and put the pan down on the counter.

“sorry if i interrupted anything,” nikki jokes and starts to get the cake out of the pan. “no, you didn’t. it’s okay.” you’re still looking at tom. you reach up and get the icing out of one of the cabinets, then a spatula from a holder on the counter. the fact that you already know where everything is makes tom get blushy. a good blushy.

the cake is on the cooling rack, so you open up the icing. nikki moves over to give you more room. “we should add some sprinkles, yeah?” she puts a hand on your shoulder. “tom, what do you think?” you noticed he’s been unusually quiet. he clears his throat. “yeah, sounds good.” “alright, then. let’s see if we have them.” nikki goes back into the cabinet you were in.

you get a generous amount of icing on the spatula, then start spreading it around the cake. it’s chocolate. everyone knows what that does. tom can’t stop thinking about how perfect you are while he watches. with nikki, with him, with all of this. he uses that word a lot. perfect. but, he actually means it now. you’re the human embodiment of it.

you’re almost finished with the icing when nikki puts down two different kinds of sprinkles. she found rainbow and the white ones that look like crystals. you put down the tub of icing with a smile. “i’ve got this, love,” she tells you and nods her head to tom. making eye contact with him, you lick what’s left of the icing off the spatula. his eyes are hooded now. you put the spatula in the sink and sit next to him at the table.

“tease,” he says lowly to you, putting an arm around the back of your chair. “you do it to me all the time.” you shift closer to him. he only shakes his head. nikki brings over the cake and a knife balanced on three plates a few minutes later. “who’s hungry?” “me,” you’re the first to answer. tom laughs and takes the knife to cut the cake. “thanks, mum. and y/n.” you put an arm around his neck. “you’re very welcome.”

everyone stays downstairs for two pieces and some small talk. you decide to put everything away in the morning since it’s getting late and tom has to be up. the two of you say goodnight to nikki, then tom leads you upstairs to his old room.

neither of you have to say anything to know exactly what you want. you press your lips to tom’s the second he closes the door, grabbing at his shoulders. he kisses back while walking backwards to the bed. he sits and pulls down you by your waist. your legs are on either side of him. you pull away to catch your breath, resting your forehead against tom’s.

“you were so good tonight, baby,” tom pants, fingers gripping your sides. you start to undo his shirt button by button with a smirk. “i’m not done yet.” he chuckles into your next kiss, shrugging off his shirt. you toss it on the floor and push at his bare chest so he’s laying down. you’re straddling him now, your tongue running across his lower lip. he unzips the dress you decided to wear while your lips trail off to his neck.

“wanna get this off,” he rasps, sliding the straps down your shoulders. you hum against his skin in response and sit up again. the vibrations make him feel tingly. your dress is thrown across the room shortly after. tom runs a finger down your back, his swollen lips curling into a smile. “love you.” “love you more.” you’re about to show him you mean it.

his hand comes around to your front as you unzip his jeans. he rubs your hip, your thigh, almost right where you need him, then he stops. he’s getting you back for earlier. you let out a breath and roll off of him so he can get out of his jeans. he eyes you and takes his boxers off next to speed up the process.

“c’mere.” you’re quick to get back on top of him. you can feel him through your panties as you straddle him. that only makes you more needy. he pulls your panties to the side and uses his middle finger to circle your clit. it’s good, but it’s not enough. “tom,” you breathe out. “i know, i know.”

he easily tugs your panties down, and you move so you’re lined up with him. you reach down and pump his dick in your hand. he presses a long kiss to your cheek. you can feel his breath fanning across your face. you run his dick through your folds to get both of you ready. biting down on your lip, you put your free hand on his chest.

he lets out a low moan when you start to sink down on him. you let him fill you up, taking your time to get there. more quiet noises escape him when he’s completely inside of you. squeezing your eyes shut, you move on him. you go slow at first, both of you feeling every little movement.

tom’s hands hold your hips to guide you. he brings you back down again. your moan is muffled as you let him move you faster. “shit, baby,” he exhales and pulls you forward. it makes him hit a new spot inside of you. you’re bouncing on him now, grabbing onto his shoulders again for support.

“fuck,” you murmur as quietly as you can so you’re not heard downstairs. tom unclasps your bra while you ride him, trying to distract himself so he doesn’t give you two away. he can’t take it off you because of the position you’re in. he pushes it up instead so your boobs are out of it, both hands cupping them. “closer, darling.”

you lean down more so he can reach you. he massages one and takes the other into his mouth. your head is thrown back while his tongue runs over your nipple. between this and the way he feels inside you, it’s so hard not to scream his name right now.

“tom... tom you’re gonna make me-“ you whimper, gulping before you can finish your sentence. he pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and kisses your lips to shut both of you up. keeping the same pace, you kiss him back. it’s messy and breathless. you’re getting close already. you’d normally go on way longer, but he has that stupid meeting.

it only takes you a few more bounces until you get that familiar feeling in your stomach. tom’s firm grip on your hips steadies you while you come. “doing so good. keep going,” he praises, your orgasm making your walls clench around him. you let out a small moan, tom breathing heavier from the feeling. you’re not moving anymore, but it’s enough to have him coming soon after you.

your head dropping onto his stomach, you climb off of him. tom presses his lips to your hair softly and moves his hands up to your waist. “really like when you’re on top.” his voice is raspy. you’re still trying to catch your breath, but you manage a kiss to his chest. “me too. it’s really... nice.” “nice?” he teases.

“stop, i can’t think right now,” you mumble to him. you’ve rolled over so you’re by his side. you have your head laying on his chest. his curls brush your face when he leans over to peck your lips. “i figured. tonight was a good night, hm?” “mhm. we should do it again.” your fingers ruffle his hair.

“what, the sex? or dessert with my mum?” he cringes at how that comes out. you giggle and twirl a piece of his hair. “both. wow, today was a lot.” tom squishes his cheek into the pillow more. “i could fall asleep like this.” “nope, you have to get ready for bed. your call is soon.” you poke at his chest and move over so you’re not on him anymore. he sits himself up with a chuckle.

“you switch up fast.”

[mrs-hollandstan]

Going doomsday/apocalypse shopping with Harry

I love, love, love this one. This is exactly what I was asking for with the halloween blurbs

Harry's quiet. He has been since your outburst at the compound earlier. He really can't blame you for snapping. He's pretty sure it's month six of this apocalypse and it's a constant game of watching over your shoulder wherever you go. And now, some of the men had come to a decision that you weren't allowed out because you were "a fragile woman". So now, you and Harry are off on a side mission, something he was hesitant about, but he knew you could probably handle yourself more than he could handle himself.

He watches the way your hips moves, watches how you stretch your arm above your head to reach the toppled medicine,

"Its fucking stupid. I'm a woman, therefore I need a man to protect me? What… we have an apocalypse and suddenly we're back in the sixties when women can't leave the house and we're supposed to be the ones making dinner while you guys go out and kill yourselves?" You reason. Harry hums, shrugging as he holds open the backpack he carries,

"Personally I think you're doing great. I mean… you're really gonna tell me that David is better at this shit than you are? How many times has he stumbled in that same fucking hole at the east wall and almost been shot because he limps like a zombie?" He poses. You can't fight the twitch of your lips at the insinuation. There's a moment of silence,

"It just frustrates me. I can't be cooped up in there anymore. It's driving me insane."

"Well now you aren't." Harry quickly pipes up. You look up at him, holding his gaze for a moment,

"And it just had to be you that offered to come with me."

"Well I figured you hate everyone else and you need a spotter so… it'd have to be me." He murmurs, admiring a label on a random bottle as if it's the most fascinating thing in the world. You raise an eyebrow,

"Is that the real reason?" You ask. He meets your eyes again and shrugs,

"Dunno. Don't… like the idea of you running off by yourself." Taking a step closer to him, you watch him smile,

"Anything else you wanna admit Holland? Something… deeper?" You ask. He stares at you for a moment before he sighs, setting his backpack aside and then he's diving for you, hands holding your cheeks as he presses his lips to yours. You kiss him back, reaching up to hold his wrists as he presses you against the side of the shelf. His hands slip down to your back, pulling your bottom half against his.

He draws back after a moment, a little breathless as he presses his forehead to yours. He sighs, closing his eyes,

"My God I've been wanting to do that for weeks." He admits. You giggle, holding his hips,

"I know."

"What?" You click your tongue, staring up at him,

"You're not sly Holland. I can tell by the way you side with everything I say and the way you watch me that you've wanted me." You tell him. He takes a step back, "besides… Tom has a big mouth… I heard him teasing you the other day about it." Harry sighs again, shaking his head,

"The one brother I was with when the world went to shit and he can't shut his trap." He mumbles. You giggle, reaching up to brush a stray curl from his forehead,

"Its okay. The feeling is mutual." You admit. He meets your eyes,

"Really?" You nod,

"I wouldn't have let you come if it wasn't." You remind. He rolls his eyes,

"I wouldn't have let you leave regardless." You tip your head back and cackle, turning away from him for a moment. When you glance over your shoulder, you giggle again,

"Oh boy… how cute that you think you have a choice in what I do and don't do." You snidely remark. He swallows, suddenly taken aback by your brazenness, his eyes slipping to your hips again as you return to reaching for medicine bottles,

"Tom told me I wouldn't be able to handle you." He murmurs. You turn to look at him, cocking your head. A sinister smile slips to your lips,

"Oh babe," You turn, reaching out to caress his cheek with your free hand, "You don't have to be able to handle me… you just need to know how to please me." You purr in his ear, slipping your fingers through the chain he wears. You giggle again as he sucks in a breath before you're dumping the contents of your hand into his backpack, winking at him as you turn your back to him once more.