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skylarmoon71 · 3 years ago

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E2 Harrison Wells x Reader- Oneshot (Flash)

"Listen to me, you don't have to do this. You aren't a killer. "

You just closed your fist, eyes dark with hatred. The more you squeezed, the harder it was for the criminal in front of you to breathe. Barry took a step forward and you raised your free hand.

"I don't want to hurt you Barry, but I will if I have to. BACK OFF!"

"No! I'm not gonna stand here and watch you throw your life away. I know what it's like (Y/N), to resent someone to the point that you're willing to risk it all." your hands faltered for a second, and the man on the floor groaned. Your lips were quivering.

"H-He killed him Barry..for a stupid watch and some cash. "

"I know, and I'm so sorry (Y/N). " Bit by bit he was inching closer, and you could feel your anger dissipating slowly. You should have known that Barry would be the one to figure it out. After losing your boyfriend to a mugger, you dedicated your life to tracking his killer.

You worked under Joe at CCPD. You were just an officer. A close call with a meta one night when you were working with Joe had led to the discovery of your own abilities. Shortly after he introduced you to the team. Even with your loss, you felt like you were slowly but surely getting your life back together. Then you heard of another robbery. Similar MO, except this time the individual survived. They were able to identify the perp. It could have been an impulse, but you tracked him down. Took you hours.

Standing in his beat down apartment, all you wanted to do was inflict as much pain as you could. You just wanted the hole that he left in your chest to disappear.

"Please (Y/N)." Barry's eyes were pleading. You finally lowered your hands, and the male being pinned gasped, coughing. Barry moved forward, pulling you into his arms and you stood there, gripping onto his shirt as you bawled your eyes out.

~~~~~

"You saved a lot of people. He's been on the run for weeks. Hurt a lot of innocent people too. Good job kd." You can't even look Joe in the eyes. You keep your head down nodding and he pats your shoulder. This entire situation could have gone completely sideways. All you can do is watch as they take the handcuffed man away. You're standing next to Barry who's doing his best to keep you grounded. As Joe leaves, you look over at Barry. "Thank you." you whisper. If he hadn't brought you from over the edge, it could have been you walking away in cuffs.

Barry knows that no amount of sympathetic words can help, so he just offers a hug. "Anytime (Y/N)."

~One Year Later~

"Guys I could really use a hand here!!" The meta currently trying to break past your barrier was a little more than you could handle at the moment. Between fighting past his metal armor and trying not to become like the unconscious officers around you, it was a struggle. With gritted teeth, you push harder, but he's fighting through pain. Being able to control liquid elements was a nice ability, but for this iron head, it may not have been enough. You were manipulating his water components, but it was just barely holding him off. A normal person would have been out cold by now.

"B-Barry!" On cue he zips by. The meta looks down at the cuffs on his wrist. You grin, because he no longer has the metal to shield him. With a flick of your wrist, his body is thrown back, hitting the wall.

"You know he was bound right." Barry says. You just shrugged. "I know." He shakes his head with a laugh, calling in Joe to round up some reinforcements. Finally, you can relax.

"What took you so long?"

"Well Harry and Cisco were-" you wave your hands.

"Don't bother, I can already guess. " Those two never quit.

"Next time just ignore them." you state walking away.

"Will do!!"

~~~~

"The next time you dipsticks decide to have a fight don't forget their actual people out there that don't wanna get crushed by a psycho metahuman." Cisco and Harry stood still as you basically ripped into them. Most of the time you could care less, but Barry could tell that something about this case must have really agitated you. Storming out the cortex, Barry's eyes followed you. He hadn't seen that look on your face since, well since you lost Calvin.

"Did she seem off to you?" Cisco inquired.

Barry was still zoned out.

"Just give her some time." Barry advised. He wanted nothing more than to help you, but he could tell that right now all you really needed was some space.

~~~~~

Later that afternoon Caitlin and Iris invited you to a well deserved girls night. Fighting metas as well as dealing with regular criminals took a pretty heavy toll on you. So of course you accepted. Knocking on the door, Iris rushed to open the door. The moment she saw your face she was grinning. You barely had time to greet her before she was tugging you inside. You laugh at her excitement.

"Someone's ready to party." kicking off your shoes, you raised your head. You didn't expect to see the many faces that filled the room. "Uhhhh.." you were positive she'd said girls night over the phone, so why was Cisco, Harry, Joe and Barry here.

"Sorry we set you up, it was Barry's idea.' Iris apologized with a smile.

"Hey!" you can't really be mad. You step forward, and Barry is the first to hug you. Not anticipating it, you pat his back awkwardly. "Y-You okay there Barry?" He's acting a little strange. When he pulls away, all he does is smile, patting your shoulder. "Yeah I'm just...really glad that you're in our lives."

He's certainly being weird, nevertheless, you appreciate his words.

"That's sweet Barry, thank you." He nods.

"Alright let's get this party started!!" Cisco cheers. He's never one to pass up getting drunk.

"I'll make sure Ramon doesn't pass out on your couch Allen." With the both of them you know it's only a matter of time before the bickering begins, and it's sort of comforting.

For the night you all talk, drink and exchange stories. Harry gives some moments where he's had to scare away Jessie's potential boyfriends. Joe states the same when Iris had started high school. You're dying of laughter at one point when he says he flashed his gun to intimidate one of them. The night carries on. Somewhere along the line, you've slipped out to the balcony. You enjoy the company, but right at this moment, you need to be alone. You lean over, eyes staring up at the sky.

The facade you've been keeping up all day has fallen, and you allow the tears to flow freely. You sniff a couple times. When you hear the door behind you slide close you straighten, wiping at your eyes frantically.

"I-It's pretty chilly outside. Kind of makes your eyes water. The man standing there, it's not who you'd assume. Harry just watches you for a moment, and you're convinced he can see right through you.

"W-Well I should get inside before they start to worry." you try to bolt.

"Who did you lose?" Then he asks that question. You haven't even fully made it to the door yet, and you're lucky for the curtains that block the view on the other side of the door.

"I've been watching you all night. This morning Ramon was concerned you were acting unusual. I brushed it off, but seeing you tonight confirmed everything. The smiles don't truly reach your eyes. "

You have half a mind to tell him that it's none of his business. Who the hell did he even think he was, profiling you like some kind of criminal. Harry takes another step, and when he looks down, your barrier crumbles instantly. With a shaky hand to your lips, you lean your back against the wall. His eyes convey sympathy, and he takes your hand softly. You sob, and Harry slowly pulls you into his arms. You hold unto him, breaking down right there. It's been such a struggle carrying on all day. Harry is the absolute last person you ever would even think could provide comfort, but you're grateful.

~~~~~~

It takes a while for you to calm down, at one point Barry even comes searching, upon seeing you chatting with Harry, he closes the curtains with a smile. The both of you just sit in silence. You've pulled out a chair, and Harry is right beside you. He doesn't press for any kind of information. You kind of like this.

"His name was Calvin."

Azure eyes move in your direction.

"We were together for three years." You place a hand on your chest, and Harry watches as you reach under the neck of your shirt, pulling out a necklace. There's a ring attached to it. A beautiful diamond right at the center. "The night he was.." your throat tightens.

"The night I lost him, he was going to propose. They recovered all the items that were stolen from the guy's apartment. Calvin bought it a year before. He was making down payments to afford it. " Your hands grip the ring, and you can feel the tears about to spill again. You swallowed, looking over at Harry.

"I-I'm really sorry that I yelled at you guys today. I-I was just.."

"You don't have to explain. " He was starting to get the bigger picture. Today was important to you. This is what was needed for you to mourn. He understood, more than you realized. You knew about his past, and now he knows about yours.

"How long does it take for this feeling to go away?"

He wished he could give you an easy answer, but he was the last person to ask about dealing with loss. Tess was the most stable and treasured thing in his life. Then he lost her, shortly after that he almost watched his only daughter get killed. Safe to say he was the worst at trying to move on.

"It never really goes away." he knows that isn't the answer you want.

"But it will get better (Y/N). You have people here that care about you. Family."

They were the reason he no longer looked at the world at people as if they were expendable.

"You'll be fine." He takes your hand when he says it, and the confidence of his assurance. It's exactly what you need.

"Thank you, Harrison."

A brilliant smile.

"You're welcome."

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kunstpause-archive · 4 years ago

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FFXIV Write Prompt #29 - Paternal

“Why the long face? One might think you’d be down there with the rest of your ilk, celebrating.”

Emet-Selch’s voice ripped Cassia out of her melancholy. She was sitting on one of the higher-up walkways, leaning over the lower railing, legs swinging slowly back and forth as she watched the celebration down in the Wandering Stairs below.

“I’m not in a partying mood,” she replied softly. She expected one of two outcomes. Either he would ridicule her need to separate herself from her friends, or he would scoff at her, complaining how boring she was before leaving in an overly dramatic fashion.

She should have known better than to think that someone like him could be that easily predicted. Throwing her for a loop, Emet-Selch stepped closer before unceremoniously sitting down next to her.

“How come?” he asked simply, and for a brief moment, Cassia was at a loss for words.

She thought to tell a lie at first. There was nothing good that could come out of this if she told him something real after all. But the noises of the celebration below and their contrast to the strange quietness up on the walkways set a peculiarly calm mood around them.

“I miss home,” she said quietly.

His voice sounded skeptical. “You miss home?”

“I know, it’s a very quaint thing, being home-sick and all, but…” Cassia let out a sigh. “I haven’t seen my daughter in months.” She got regular updates and messages from home, even managed to speak to Bethany through Feo Ul’s help every now and then, but nonetheless, the ongoing separation was beginning to take its toll on her.

“Ah…” Emet-Selch said, his voice sounding much more understanding all of a sudden, and Cassia found her curiosity piqued.

“You’ve had children, over the years, right?” she asked, fully prepared for a scathing remark about how she should learn to mind her own business, but for the second time this evening, he surprised her.

“I did,” he said simply, his voice sounding strangely hollow. “Many times, actually.”

Cassia couldn’t help her curiosity. “With…?”

“Yes, with perfectly regular people such as yourself,” he answered her unfinished question before giving her an unreadable look. “Well, not exactly like you, I guess, but close enough.”

“Do you ever miss them?” The question left her before she could think about how wise it was to ask. Next to her, Emet-Selch scoffed lightly.

“My dear, what about your own experiences with my great-grandson gave you the idea that those were in any way positive experiences?” He sounded as condescending as usual, but something on his face felt slightly off, and Cassia couldn’t stop herself from prodding.

“So you never got attached at all?” She asked. “Not even once?”

He looked like he was about to give her another casual answer when his eyes suddenly locked with hers, and something shifted.

“Once,” Emet-Selch said quietly before looking away again, his eyes starting to follow the people dancing below instead. Cassia simply continued to watch him in silence, not knowing what to say. She hadn’t expected such simple, forthcoming answers from him, and it left her with more confusion than understanding somehow. Even greater was her surprise when he started talking again.

“I had a son once,” Emet-Selch said quietly. “He was… everything.” His words were surprisingly few, almost raw in their simplicity, as they stirred the feeling in Cassia that she was seeing something she wasn't supposed to. Something he kept carefully hidden at any other time.

“What happened?” she asked quietly.

“What always happens to you mortal, incomplete races,” he said, but his harsh words lacked the usual disdain behind them. Instead, they sounded almost regretful. “He died. Thousands of years of knowledge and nearly unlimited magic at my disposal, and my own son dies of a mere children’s disease…”

As his voice trailed off, sounding terribly empty to Cassia’s ears, Emet-Selch shook his head. “Just as well,” he muttered. “It’s not like any of these broken shards are providing a life worth living.”

Cassia felt like the words should sting her more, but they sounded so empty, so devoid of any intent she could barely register them. It wasn’t like she had never thought something in that direction before.

“Sometimes I wonder if I made a terrible mistake by having a child when I did,” she confessed, looking straight ahead, focusing on nothing in particular as the horrible-sounding words left her mouth. “Not because I don’t love my daughter dearly,” she added immediately. “She is the most important part of my life, and I would give anything for her. Which is why sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’ve condemned her to something awful.”

“I was under the impression you do not share my view of the state of your world at all,” Emet-Selch said with a curious look on his face. “But you sound remarkably like it right now.”

Cassia turned to look at him. “I don’t share your views, not even a little bit,” she said calmly, trying to explain herself better. “But I had a child during the heights of a war that cost her her father, and ever since then, I’ve been unable to provide her with a stable home and a guarantee that I will be there when she needs me.” Her voice was filled with sorrow at the thought of just how many times she had left Bethany behind somewhere. For her daughter’s own good, each and every time, but it didn’t make any of it weigh less on her. “She only has one parent, and that parent has to leave all the time to go and save the world over and over again. I do it for her, but…” But in the end, Cassia knew she wasn’t there when it counted.

Emet-Selch’s eyes hadn’t left hers, looking at her with a strange intensity before he softly shook his head. “You are going out to save millions of lives, and it somehow makes you feel like a bad parent?” he asked, and the incredulous way his voice shifted sent a small chuckle through Cassia.

“If you put it this way, it sounds kind of ridiculous…”

“It’s not ridiculous,” he said, and the solemn look on his face looked decidedly different from his usual, mocking smirk. “To wonder, I mean.”

Cassia let out a small sigh as she nodded. “I guess not.” There was a strange sense of understanding between them as they kept looking at each other before Emet-Selch suddenly leaned closer.

“A question, if I may ask?” He didn’t actually wait for her to give him a go-ahead before he continued, “Your daughter, Bethany, does she still smile at you each time you return?”

Cassia blinked for a moment before a smile settled onto her face. “Every time,” she answered softly.

There was a fragility behind the softness of his smile as he took a moment to look at her before he said, “You are doing just fine then.”

And somehow, despite all the odds, Cassia couldn’t help but believe him.

#FFxivWrite2020 #FFxivWrite #ffxiv #Emet-Selch #emet-selch x wol #oc: Cassia Hawke #Kunstpause writes stuff

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sufferingink · 4 years ago

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Mixed up Miraculous AU Part3: flaws

a lot of my problems with the current show stem from characters not having flaws, or at least flaws that cause long standing issues throughout episodes. Marinette herself is a pretty good example of this to me, because her flaws are treated more like funny quirks that come up very little. Like with her almost kissing a wax statue because it looked like Adrien, haha so... so funny. so because no one asked for it, I’m going to write a full post detailing the flaws of some characters. (note: started writing this before the specials came out. might be irrelevant now)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (the big one)

So you know how in canon, marinette tripping over something or walking into a wall is a gag that’s in like a grand total of 12 scenes per season? and that’s considered one of her major flaws??? It’s not! But I’m going to dial it up a bit so the contrast between civilian and superhero is incredibly obvious!! This makes her the one that’s the most cautious but also the one that can wave away injuries the easiest.

One of the more fleshed out aspects of her character is that she is always losing arguments. That sounds weird. It’s more like the reason behind why she loses them is fleshed out. Most of the people she argues with are very good at make people believe they gave them evidence when they really just handed them hot air. Marinette knows what they’re saying isn’t true, but is so lost in anger that she doesn’t even provide hot air. It makes her seem like she just expects people to believe her because she’s... Marinette. the goody two shoes(have you seen how much stuff she’s stolen?). the one that never lies (or is at least semi-okay at it). It’s kind of rude to have the belief that everyone should believe you because you’re you, but that’s kind of always how it goes in hidden role games sooooo... maybe she’ll be fine.

BURNOUT!!yay. marinette is constantly signing onto new projects and throughout this hypothetical series you could see it take a toll on her. she becomes irritable and her anxiety goes through the roof. Pumilio jumps from rooftops half asleep. It worries everyone around her. She is near constantly complaining about her workload but has convinced herself that taking even a day to recharge is being lazy

she carries around fabric and buttons everywhere. just kind of does, for some reason. Jumpp doesn’t care so..

something something kissing a wax statue because it looks like your crush isn’t cute it just makes you look creepy.

fuckin’ BAMBOOZLED by automatical doors, apparently.

Adrien Agreste

This kid has SO many trust issues and anxieties. He’s constantly aware that everyone trying to get close to him might just be doing it for fame (that’s why he’s more comfortable as a superhero. not much fame you could get from that). He’s constantly aware of his own appearance because he doesn’t want to upset his father. He worries that someday his friends will realize how much of a disaster he is and just... leave. Of course, he has to hide all of this (”worry wrinkles are bad for business”).

This dude can’t properly sit still to save his life. Not necessarily a flaw and more a character trait I guess? That’s why he looks so sad at homeschool. He wants to socialize, sure, but he also wants to climb a damn tree.

(this is one specific to this au) When the group discover the cat miraculous, Adrien was hesitant to take it. Pollen was one of his friends, and the only one he could really talk to about everything. Not to mention Pollen’s own worries, as most of their holders gave them up to become something different. he still took it, because the reasoning was sound and he had no real reason to deny it. But he never properly activated it. He didn’t want Pollen to feel like they were getting replaced.

He lets people off the hook far too easily. Doesn’t want the anger.

Alya Cesaire

For a reporter, she jumps to conclusions far too quickly. Barest amount of evidence and she will go reveal it to the world without even checking the sources (tip: check your sources. I can’t believe i have to say it). That being said, I do like the idea of her slowly piecing together the heroes’ identities. Like at the end of the first season,she makes a small comment about how much Adrien looks like Abeille and there’s little hints that she may be figuring it all out.

Gets frustrated with her friends easily because she knows they’re hiding something but she can’t tell what. Stupid AND terrible at lying? unacceptable.

kind of sort of really used to justifying invading other people’s privacy. She... really shouldn’t be doing that. stop, please.

Alya can’t ever force herself to do something. If she doesn’t like the work she’s given, she will either choose something adjacent to it, or will just straight up ignore it. Makes her grades suffer and her confidence in herself plummet

Nino Lahiffe

This kid just might be the most stable one here. He doesn’t overwork himself, he finishes his work on time, he’s relatively steady on his feet. but where everyone in his class is famous to some extent, nino just... isn’t. the most impressive thing he’s ever done is win an obviously rigged game show. He jealous, most days. When Marinette hands out free croissants, he’s thinking about how much he would have to pay for just one. When Alya’s complaining about how few people liked her posts, nino’s remembering the day where he finally hit 1k. Everytime Chloe uses her father’s influence for something petty, he remembers listening to his parents sob about not being able to afford their tiny apartment. he keeps it to himself.

He highkey feels like an outsider in his own life. (this might be triggering, I’ll put a funny summary at the end) Like maybe one day, he’ll wake up and everything will be perfectly fine without him. Pavonine will still be there, his friends, his family... none of them would ever even notice if he just sat in bed forever. Duusuu would probably notice and try to cheer him up, which would only make it worse.(hey, did I say the end? I meant right here. summarizing two sentences: Nino may or may not have depression. Duusuu may or may not be accidently making it worse.) Ironically, these days come most often when people notice him the most. Adrien straight up hands him four duct taped lunchables because Nino mentioned ants got into his food. Alya jokingly accuses him of being Pavonine for her blog (”He wears a SUIT, dude,” is really the only evidence he gives for it not being him. this somehow works). SOMEONE filled his locker paper frogs and Shrek Devito strickers (real thing. i have one on my desk). No one’s as surprised as he is when Mme. Bustier agrees to put them on well written papers.

kind of overbearing when it becomes to groups, but doesn’t like being the leader.

has this really terrible cough, hmmm I woNDER WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

Tikki (Kwami)

Gods, no matter how small and cute, work in absolutes. Their moral standing is no different. Tikki has particularly strong moral compass, and pretty much never sways in her belief. if her holder tries to use a lie she deems unnecessary, she will use her hold over them to voice her opinion in a less than savory manner (she’s a god, and she’s basically been in lockdown for one hundred years. She’s allowed to have a bit of a disconnect from what hurts)

Plagg (Kwami)

You know how in the last one I basically said that all Kwamis are all somewhere in the Good alignment? Plagg’s a straight up Chaotic Neutral. He wants his owners (and tikki) to be happy, but he’s only there for that. will happily leave as people stop yelling at him. He doesn’t hurt his holders, but he is very sarcastic.

Pollen (Kwami)

Very loyal, very quickly. they find their group and protect them to their final breath. Their holders tend to be offered better Miraculous and leave Pollen in the dust. They take this very personally, and refuse to work with that holder ever again. These holders have... not great endings, but Pollen refuses to feel guilt.

Duusuu (Kwami)

they basically have no control over their emotions, and tend to increase their holders emotions. More recently, their Miraculous has broken, and infects their host with some sort of strange sickness. They’re so determined to spot any symptoms that they miss their current holder’s worsening mental health.

Jumpp (Kwami)

They have gone so long without everything that they cling to it so tightly that they restrict change. When your holder very much needs a change, there’s tension. They try to force their holder to stay transformed, so they don’t throw away their miraculous.

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vanderlindemangofarm · 5 years ago

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I’ve Got You

This is for the wonderful ray of sunshine that is @scribblepigeon as she won 1st Prize in the competition I ran a while back! I’m so sorry this has taken so long, but I really hope you enjoy it!

Summary: after the mess of the Blackwater ferry job, you and the gang have taken refuge in Colter, and you’re feeling useless. Determined to prove your worth to the gang, you decide to scout a nearby O’Driscoll camp. When your mission doesn’t go to plan, it’s down to Charles to bring you home.

Warnings: one use of a racial slur, angst, mentions of gore.

Pairing: Charles Smith x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3,191 (yeahhhh I went way over the word count, sorry)

If you had hated stitching before, it was nothing compared to now. The cold had rendered your unskilled fingers practically useless. You couldn’t feel a thing as your fingertips gripped the needle, poking it idly through bits of old fabric in a crude attempt to make a blanket. Your breath misted in front of you as you sighed loudly. Tilly looked up.

“Having fun?” she smiled sympathetically. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you rubbed the bridge of your nose. She nodded grimly. “You and me both.”

It was only until the storm cleared, you thought to yourself over and over. Just a few days. Maybe even less than that. Perhaps even tomorrow, you’d all be on your way to pastures new – to warm air, to blue sky, to grass! If there was one thing you missed as much as going to sleep without shivering, it was greenery. Charles had promised to take you out walking as soon as you got out of the mountains. You knew he was probably just being polite but you still smiled whenever you thought about it. You always smiled when you thought of Charles. He’d been so gentle with you right from the start, always greeting you with a kind word. On the long wagon journeys you’d sit beside him and watch the rolling landscape change, in comfortable silence. Sometimes you’d let your head slump against his shoulder, but he never seemed to mind. He’d always tuck a blanket around you.

“That blanket won’t make itself, Miss L/N.” Susan called from across the room, dragging you out of your daydream. There was frustration in her voice but it was strained, like she couldn’t quite find the energy to be truly angry with you. The past few days had taken its toll on you all.

All that money, lost, sitting somewhere in a town where you’d be shot on sight. You’d experienced disappointing jobs before but this felt cruel. Just as you’d let yourself start to dream, the world had closed in on you once again. Dutch had placed his hand on your shoulder before you rode to Blackwater, saying something about being rewarded for your trials, like that ferry held the rightful prize for all the gang had endured. It must have been even worse for the others, the ones who had been with Dutch for years, even decades. You had only been around for a month or so. Jenny had found you cowering behind a saloon, drunk and alone and afraid. She had been so kind to you, a true friend, and now she was gone. So was Davey, so were Mac and Sean for all you knew. Even John was missing. It was cruelty, plain and simple. Your chest tightened as you felt the threat of tears in your eyes.

You felt useless. It didn’t help that barely anyone was speaking to you properly. You knew it was because there was so much to do, but the sting of people walking past you without even looking you in the eye was hard to ignore. You hadn’t even seen Dutch and Hosea today; they were always holed up pouring over maps or out scouting the surroundings. Arthur and Javier had ventured into the mountains to look for John. And here you were, sewing, if you could even call it that. You held up the blanket, which looked more like a long scarf. Jack looked up from the fire and frowned puzzledly at your creation. You smiled, wrapping it around your neck.

“Very modern, don’t you think?” you asked, striking a pose. Jack giggled.

“Miss L/N, the sooner you fashion something useable, the sooner we can all get warmer.”

“Yes, Ms. Grimshaw.” you mumbled. This wretched needle was starting to aggravate you. It seemed to transcend its form to become a vicious little insect intent on ramming itself into your exposed flesh. You winced, sucking on your index finger.

“Now, that’s a sight I could get used to.” Micah purred from his corner. You pulled your finger out of your mouth, glaring. He smirked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Mr Bell, if you’ve nothing meaningful to say may I suggest taking yourself somewhere else?” said Susan, her brow furrowing. Micah placed his hand on his heart in mock-offence.

“Is that any way to speak to one of your own? Besides, I’ve been breaking my back lately. As I see it, I’m owed a pretty view or two.”

Susan opened her mouth to retaliate but you stood up, throwing down your sewing.

“The prettiest thing in this room will be your blood on my fist if you don’t shut up, Micah.” you hissed, your blood boiling. Micah leant back in his chair, taking another drag.

“Vicious little thing, aintcha? Don’t let me distract you from your housework now, Miss. Gotta earn your keep somehow.”

“I’ve earnt my keep, Bell. You know that.”

“Oh, sure. We’re all so grateful for having to save your ass back in Blackwater. Hell, if it wasn’t for you losing your nerve maybe we’d still have that money.”

You were breathing heavily now, your fists bunched by your sides. You knew it wasn’t true, not really. He was just choosing the exact words to get under your skin. But God, it was working.

“Leave her alone, Micah.” Karen snapped from her corner. Micah turned to look at her, sneering.

“I wish we had! I know that redskin bastard’s gettin’ sweet on her, but even he can see she’s a waste of air.”

That was enough for you. You turned on your heel and stormed out of the cabin before anyone could see your tears. You crunched through the snow, your head fuzzy, barely hearing Lenny when he asked if you were alright. Leaning against the cold wood of the stables you shut your eyes, willing the sobs away.

It was true about Blackwater. Only minutes after the job went sour you’d misfired and almost gotten yourself killed, only to take a nasty fall and hurt your ankle so badly you could barely limp out of the room. Charles had gone back for you. You could remember how easily he lifted you up and carried you to safety, running as you shot your pistol over his shoulder at the advancing lawmen. I’ve got you, he kept whispering, long after the gunfire had ceased and your heart had settled. Even when he looked down and saw his wounded hand, bloodied and charred. Still he held onto you, kneeling on the yellowed grass with you in his lap. If you focused on how warm his chest felt, you could get the image out of your head of Heidi McCourt’s brains spilling over the ferry deck.

“Y/N?”

Charles voice, soft and concerned, pulled you out of your memories and back into the snow. Your eyes snapped open and you saw him in front of you, his hat pulled low over his face, his arm cradling his wounded hand. Your stomach twisted with guilt.

“Are you alright?” he asked suspiciously. You nodded too quickly, your cheeks flushing. He kept looking at you, regarding you, and for once you wished he wouldn’t.

“Get yourself back inside, you’ll catch your death out here,” he continued, gesturing to the darkening sky. You shrugged, your eyes falling to the ground.

“I’m fine, Charles. I just wanted to be alone for a minute.”

Charles paused for a few moments, as if contemplating saying something more, but he turned away.

“Charles?”

You spoke before you could stop yourself. He looked back at you, his eyes soft.

“I…I’m sorry.” you stammered.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Your hand. If I hadn’t…if you hadn’t…I’m sorry.”

Charles stared at you, letting out a long sigh.

“I would never have left you there,” he said softly. “never.”

You took a deep breath.

“You wouldn’t have had to go back for me if I wasn’t a…a waste of air.”

“A waste of air? Who’s been saying that to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you snapped, shaking your head. “it’s the truth. All I want to do is show you people that I’m worth having around. But no, the good Lord has decided I’m to be cursed with a life on the run with none of the skills to make it work. And…and I can’t sew!”

“Can’t sew? What are you talking about?”

“Can’t sew, can’t shoot straight, can’t even die when I’m supposed to.”

“Stop.” Charles growled, his eyes narrowing. Your tears slipped from your cheeks and dropped to the ground, melting the snow in tiny circles by your feet.

“Y/N, for better or worse, we’re all still here.” Charles continued, his voice strained.

“I…”

“You’re feeling the weight of all this hell, same as the rest of. But I want to keep everyone around for as long as possible, you included. So just…just look after yourself. Please, Y/N.”

You gripped your elbows, chewing your lower lip. Charles nodded slowly as he turned to walk back to his cabin.

“And don’t venture out, at least not far,” he said grimly, over his shoulder. “I’ve heard there might be O’Driscolls out around these parts. Out near some lake, I heard.”

O’Driscolls. You hadn’t experienced a run-in with them yet, but from the way Dutch talked about them it wouldn’t be long before you did. After all the everyone had been through recently, a night raid by a rival gang might have tipped things over the edge. Your palms felt sweaty despite the icy air as you contemplated the idea that had settled in your mind. Scouting from afar wouldn’t be difficult, you knew that. You were quiet, and the increasing gloom of the evening would aid your mission.

And you couldn’t stop thinking about the way Charles had looked at you, like you were a frightened little animal on the side of the road. You were sick to your core of pity. Of being told to be safe, to take it easy, to look after yourself. Of watching the boys ride out together every day whilst you huddled by the fire and stitched blankets of no use to man nor beast. You had so much energy to use up and no way to utilise it that didn’t result in strange looks or Dutch barking at you to get back into the warm. You didn’t sleep well, waking up multiple times a night only to shiver and stare at the ceiling. As darkness fell gradually around you now, leaning against the stables as you listened to Pearson grumbling at his workstation and watched the shadows in the windows, you figured you were better off going in search of a fabled O’Driscoll camp than laying still until morning.

And then you were silently un-hitching your horse, stroking his nose and cooing gently as he whinnied against the cold evening air, mounting up and trotting out of Colter before anyone could see you.

The silence of the mountains was deafening. You strained against the biting wind and tried to ignore the primal fear that simmered inside you when you thought of the wolves out there, waiting for an easy supper. Instead you focused on the camp you were searching for. You had seen maps of this area before and knew there was a lake nearby, one with some abandoned structures that could serve as easy shelter for a band of outlaws. A short wave of pride washed over you as you realised that you could do this. You could do this. You could be an asset. A quick scout of the camp, and returning home with vital information that could even save the day. With some soothing words to your horse, you pressed quietly on into the gloom. You were riding for over an hour before you saw lights in the distance. Finding yourself atop a ridge looking down at the camp below, you squatted in the snow and narrowed your eyes, picking out the dark shapes of who you assumed were O’Driscolls, clutching rifles as they stood guard, laughing, squabbling, drinking. Their voices cut through the night like daggers.

You slowly crept along the ridge, making mental notes of the various buildings you saw, the numbers of men. There were a lot of them, more than you anticipated, and your mouth felt dry. When you felt the presence of someone behind you it took every fibre of effort not to scream.

“Stop…stop right there!”

His voice was as shaky as the wind as you turned slowly to face him, your hands raising above your head.

“D-don’t…don’t try anything! I know how to shoot!”

The man who pointed a pistol at you didn’t look much older than you, his eyes wide with concern under his hat.

“I…” your words failed you as panic rose in your gut. This nervous creature didn’t seem much of a threat, but his camp was right beneath you. You cursed yourself for your carelessness.

“You…you shouldn’t be here! Who are you?” he demanded, his voice slightly stronger now. You shook your head, breathing rapidly. In a moment of blind adrenaline, you reached down to your pistol. And that’s when he shot you.

The bullet hit you in the shin, nestling itself in your flesh with a sickening bang. You screamed, dropping to the ground and howling in pain as you grabbed at your leg. The man hurried to your side, gabbling with panic.

“Oh god, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, miss!”

You couldn’t do anything except continue to wail and sob, oblivious to the noise you were making. The man shook his head, his hand on your shoulder. You pulled away, suddenly furious.

“You’re…you’re…sorry?!”

“Miss, I truly am. I didn’t mean to hurt you! I just…I just panicked!”

“Damn you…”

“Miss? Miss!”

You stopped cursing and looked at him, seeing the real fear in his eyes.

“Miss, they’ll kill you if they find you. Maybe worse. You have to get out of here, and fast. They’re not stupid enough to ignore a gunshot this close to camp.”

“And why…why wouldn’t you hand me over? You’re one of them, right?”

The man stopped and looked you dead in the eye.

“I ain’t no O’Driscoll, Miss.”

There were a few seconds of silence before you let yourself believe him. He helped you to your feet.

“You got a horse, Miss?”

“Sure. He’s close.”

You whistled a few times, and before long your horse cantered into view. The man guided you to his side and steadied your feet into the stirrups.

“Ride hard,” he said sternly. “don’t look back once, you understand? Get out of here.”

You barely had time to gasp your thanks before he struck the rear of your horse and watched you gallop off into the night.

Blood flowed steadily from your wound and into your boot, its sticky warmth combining with the pain and making you feel increasingly nauseous. You felt waves of dizziness as you thought of how foolish you had been, how selfish. You thought of Charles, only this time you didn’t smile. All you could picture was his face when he saw you wounded, again. Beads of sweat trickled down from your forehead and mixed with the tears on your cheeks.

In all the confusion, all the pain, you didn’t have time to register which way you were going. The night swirled around you as you rode aimlessly, the pain in your leg throbbing with every bend in the landscape. Eventually you slowed your hose to a halt, breaking down completely and sobbing into his mane. You didn’t know how long you lay there, half passed out, half asleep, half dead. When you heard Charles’ voice you were certain you were dreaming.

“Y/N?”

His voice echoed through the trees. You were dead, you thought, you must be dead. But then you heard him again.

“Y/N!”

His arms, his strong shoulders, the warmth of his chest as he lifted you down from your horse and cradled you against him.

“Oh, Y/N, what have you done?”

His hand rested on your bloodied shin and you sobbed into him, exhaustion mixing with relief and shame. He pressed his lips to your forehead as he lifted you up and carried you to Taima, who was waiting patiently as she always did. When he had you settled on her saddle he went back for your horse, attaching the reins firmly to Taima so they could ride back together. He sat behind you, letting you loll back against him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

Lights, voices, hurried words and scrabbling hands lifting you down and wrapping you in what felt like a thousand blankets. Water, hot whiskey, bandages and searing pain and more tears, and Charles holding your hand long after the bullet fragments had been removed from your leg. Falling in and out of sleep, waking briefly to be scolded by Dutch and Susan. It all felt like a painting, like a song, something to be observed, not lived. And yet here you were, saved both by a stranger and the man who held your heart.

You walked again when the snow finally began to ease. Pale sunlight trickled through the window of your cabin, teasing you with it’s meagre warmth. You shakily stumbled to the door, peering out at the tiny town as the gang went about their business.

“Ah, ah! Absolutely not. Sit down before you fall down.” Charles smiled, wandering over to where you stood in the doorway. You rolled your eyes, giving him a little push.

“Sorry. I couldn’t resist watching everyone else break their backs.” you grinned, watching Bill topple over some stacked crates with an almighty clatter. Charles looked at you, his eyes warm, his face softer than you’d seen for a long time.

“I still owe you that walk when we get to pastures new.” he said. “Can’t let all that greenery go unexplored, especially now you’re a regular little adventurer.”

“Very funny!”

“I mean it.” he said solemnly. You peered at him.

“What you did…it was stupid. Reckless. Foolish. And if you ever try anything like that again I don’t know what I’ll do. But…you did good.”

“…really?”

“Really. Even Dutch was impressed. We’d never have known how many of those bastards were camped out there if it wasn’t for you. Now we can ride out knowing what’s coming.”

“Charles?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you come looking for me?”

Charles sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“I saw how upset you were back at the stables, but I didn’t help. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said – that you couldn’t even die when you were supposed to. The way I see it, there isn’t any way we’re supposed to die. We have a right to decide when and where, in a way. It’s all in the choices we make, in the choices others make. And my choice was to find you.”

He placed two fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him. When he kissed you it felt like coming home.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

#mango writes #mine #scribblepigeon #competition winner #rdr2 #charles smith #charles smith x reader

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katlyn1948 · 6 years ago

Text

An Unexpected Journey: Part 5

Arya meet with Ser Rednick at dawn. Even with the dim twilight, the harbor of King's Landing was alive with working people. It took a good while for Arya to actually get to Nymeria because of the gathering crowds. She had wanted to get to the ship before the workers started their day, but she had an unfinished conversion with her sister that she needed to address before she left.

It was early, so Arya wasn't sure if Sansa would even be awake, but none the less, she knocked on her chamber doors. She heard a few shuffles and a grunt of what sound like someone hitting their foot on the bed post. After several minutes, Sansa opened the door. She was in her nightgown and a robe covering her round belly.

"Arya? What in seven hells? You are aware that the sun hasn't even broken the horizon. What are you doing up?" Her sister said with a sleepy voice.

"I wanted to bid you a farewell. I'm leaving in just few short hours and I wanted to apologize for my behavior as last night's supper." Arya said.

Sansa eased a bit and small smile grew on her face. "You do not have to apologize. I should not have pushed you. You are a woman grown and you do not have to explain yourself. Just promise you'll be back."

Arya quickly embraced her sister, "Of course I will be back. I cannot miss the birth of this babe."

Sansa gave her sister a tight squeeze. She normally didn't cry, but with the babe in her belly, it made every little thing emotional. "Be safe." She said to her sister before she shut the door behind her.

Arya made haste after her goodbye to her sister. She wanted to get on the sea and be at Storm's End before the the morrow drew to a close. She was anxious and ready to take the voyage south.

Ser Rednick was waiting at the dock where Nymeria was stationed when Arya arrived. He had the sails hoisted and the crew ready for sailing. Arya was truly greatful for the old navigator. He took the reigns when she could not. He had taught her the proper way to sail and run a ship. Without him she would have been truly lost.

"Ser Rednick, how was your stay?" she asked as she boarded the ship.

"Quite well, Lady Stark. I was able to send a raven to my son and let him know of my journey to Storm's End."

"So he is aware of our impending arrival?" Her eyes were quizzical.

He nodded, "Aye, he'll be joinin' us as we dock. He said the weathers ought to be good for an easy sailing." Ser Rednick looked up to the skys. "And I will have to agree with him."

Arya's eyes followed. The skys were clear with not a cloud in sight. The winds were steady and sails were eager.

"Well then, Ser Rednick, let us not waste anymore time. Lift the anchor and set sail for Storm's End."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took two days for them to reach the port of Storm’s End. Two days on her ship did nothing to ease the nerves that she had been feeling ever since she docked at King’s Landing.

She hadn’t seen him in five years. Had not sent a raven to ask about his well-being nor even asked her siblings when she did write. She had absolutely no idea what he had been up to or if he was still the same man she left all those years ago.

Ser Rednick hardly talked about Storm’s End unless it was about his son and she had purposefully avoided talk about the damned place if it was ever brought in conversation.

But standing on the dock with the light drizzle that had ascended upon them she couldn’t be more ecstatic. Her nerves were high, but her excitement was higher and she could scarcely believe that she was finally here.

She has never been to Storm’s End, but she could remember her father’s stories of the seas side castle and how it over looked ocean. The impregnable keep and it’s ability to weather any storm. It truly was a glorious castle. She even dared to think that it was more beautiful than Winterfell.

Ser Rednick had mentioned of it’s magnificent beauty, but one could not truly understand until they looked upon it with their own eyes.

It was slightly shocking to Arya that she never took the time to visit this place. Perhaps if she did, she may have never left Westeros.

The harbor of Storm’s End was just as busy as the one in King’s Landing. The fisherman were reeling in their morning catch and vendors were out and about selling their oysters, clams, and cockles. It was like any other bustling town thriving with common folk and Arya couldn’t help but smile.

When she left Westeros, Storm’s End had been on the brink of mutiny. The locals and bannermen alike were starving and unorganized and she heard that if it wasn’t for the new Lord and his trusted advisor, there would be no more Storm’s End. Perhaps, she thought, he isn’t a stupid bull after all.

Arya’s thoughts were quickly disrupted by sounds of joyous laughter. To her left she could see Ser Rednick and young man that could pass as Ser Rednick’s former self, embrace in a bearly hug. No doubt it was his son that he could not stop talking about.

“Lady Arya,” Ser Rednick motioned her to come. “This is my son, Archibald Rednick III.”

Arya lifted her brow to the navigator. “The third? Your name is Archibald? I thought you said it was Roger.”

“Aye it is. My second name is Roger. I hate Archibald.”

Arya glanced at the young man the back at Ser Rednick. “Then why did you name him that?”

“I have asked him that same question everyday of my life since I could talk.” The young man spoke. He quickly bowed to Arya.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Arya. I’ve heard all I can about you from the few letters my father has sent.”

Arya retuned the bow, “Likewise, Lord Archibald. And please do just call me Arya.”

The young man smiled, “Of course, Arya. But I must also ask you to please call me Archie. I may be a Lord, but the title is new and I do hate all the formalities. However, I cannot say the same for my wife.”

“Ah yes! How is that daughter-in-law of mine doing?” Ser Rednick asked his son.

Archie grabbed a hold of his fathers shoulder and lead him towards the seaside town. Arya was in step with them both as they made their way through the people.

“She is always well, father. She taking quite nicely to being a Lady, although she does not wish to do typical lady things.”

This tickled Arya’s ear. “What do you mean, Archie?”

“Well...she cannot sew to save her life. She hates the way some of the other ladies speak about common folk and she’d much rather spend her times in the stables than to gossip around in a circle. Although, now a days, she is tending to our young children.” Archie spoke freely.

“The stables?” Asked Arya. She was becoming more curious about this Lady Rednick.

“Aye. Her father was the former stable master before he passed. Her brother took up the job, but she does most of the work. Teaches our daughter how to properly care for the horses. Our son is only 4 moons, so all he is interested in is his next meal.” Archie says with a chuckle.

“And you do not mind her working in the stables? With her being a Lady?”

Archie shook his head, “No, not at all. But I wouldn’t be able to stop her if I tried. She gut me like a fish, that one. Her uncle is the swords master and taught her how to properly defend herself if necessary.”

Arya shook her head. She would have to meet this Lady Rednick, for she believed they could be fast friends.

They talked more on their walk through the town. Archie has mentioned that the bannermen of Storm’s End had taken a liking to their new Lord and that he truly cared for his people. Ser Rednick would tell his son about the adventures of the sea and how they encountered more than just islands.

Arya enjoyed seeing the father and son talk. They were close, she could tell and she enjoyed seeing the familiarity between the two. They may been apart for five years, but they conversed as if they had seen each other the day before. It was a familiarity that Arya could not wait to experience. She can only hope that is how it would be once she sees Gendry again. Old friends, picking up where they left off.

They had finally reached the gates of Storm’s End after walking for what seemed like ages. It hadn’t been a difficult trek, but for someone who had been on a boat for the last five years, climbing the hills and rocky terrain had winded Arya. She as glad when they finally saw the guards because that meant they had reached the top.

“Halt! State your business.” One guard said.

“Aye! It is I, Lord Rednick, Of House Rednick. Newly appointed bannerman of House Baratheon.” Archie spoke clearly. “I am here with guests of House Baratheon that have arrived from a long journey.”

The guard nodded to his fellow guardsman and they let the trio pass.

Inside the grounds of Storm’s End was just as busy as the harbor. People were running around doing their daily tasks. The kennel master was training new pups, the swords master was teaching new guards the art of sword play, and the ringing of metal against metal echoed from the forge. It was an all to familiar sound for Arya and she was anxious to see if he’d be in the smithy. Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they were guiding her into the direction of the smithy. But is he in there? Would the Lord of Storm’s End be along side his fellow smiths? She thought. But it would not matter, for a familiar voice broke her thoughts.

“Is that Arya Stark of Winterfell?”

Arya turned to the voice and immediately recognized the old smuggler.

“Aye it is, Ser Davos.” She smiled as she approached him.

She welcomed his embrace, taking in another memory of home.

Her and Ser Davos had not been close, but she would be eternally grateful for the old man, for without him she believed her brother would be dead.

Ser Davos released her from the embrace and she was able to truly see his aging face. Being an advisor to a lord had taken its toll on the smuggler, but he seemed to remain his eager old self.

“How have ye been, my dear?” He asked her.

“Well. I’ve just returned from my travels west and was hoping to see an old friend. Where is our Lord Gendry?” She asked with sudden realization that this was the first time she said his name aloud since she’s gotten back to Westeros.

“He’s out collecting monthly rents. He should be back before supper.” The old smuggler answered. “In the mean time, I’ll have rooms drawn for you lot.”

“No need for us, Ser Davos. My father will be staying with me. As you know, my keep is just a few minutes ride outside of Storm’s End. We will be leaving right after supper.” Archie said.

Ser Davos nodded. “Very well. Please Lady Arya, if you follow me, I can show you to your temporary chambers. Where are your belongings?”

”They are back on my ship at the harbor. I can send for them on the morrow.” Arya hesitated. “And Ser Davos, if it is alright with you, I’d like to explore the castle grounds. Make myself aquatinted.”

”I don’t see why not. I’ll have on of the maids fetch you once supper is ready.” With that Ser Davos turned and headed off to the armory.

Arya smiled and turned to the father/son duo.

“I had no idea you knew the Lord.” Ser Rednick said.

“Yes, he’s an old friend.” She let the old man know.

“Old friend, you say? Is that why you so eagerly agreed to come with me?” He questioned with knowing eyes.

“Mayhaps.” A small smile had creeped onto Arya’s face.

Archie hadn’t acknowledged the interaction between his father and Arya, for he had an eagerness of his own.

“Come father, let us go meet your grandchildren.” And with that, Archie dragged his father in the opposite direction.

Arya was left standing there in the middle of the castle grounds. She didn’t know which direction to go in first. On one side there was the armory, along with the training grounds and stable. The other side looked like it had housed the smithy and the kennels, while straight a head were the kitchens. Everything seemed surreal to Arya. She was actually here and couldn’t quite believe it.

When she was a little girl and her father told her the stories about Storm’s End she always thought that she would hate it but standing here in the middle of the grounds surrounded by hard working, dedicated people that were loyal to their Lord, she came to realize that maybe it wasn’t such a bad place after all, even if it was wet all the time.

Arya decided to take a left and head towards the training groups. It had been a while since she has sparred with anyone of decent skills. Perhaps she could find someone in the stormlands that could take her on. As she made her way to the training grounds a young girl of maybe three namedays ran into her.

The little girl had land on the ground with a thud and tears began to well in her eyes. Arya knelt beside her to make sure she was alright.

“I’m sorry little one, I’ve must have not seen you. Are you alright?” Arya asked. It felt strange to her, to be kind. She hasn’t had much interaction with children, so she wasn’t sure if she was being kind enough. Although this would be good practice she thought.

The little girl hesitated when she looked up at Arya, but nodded.

Arya smiled at her and helped the little girl on her feet. “Well that’s good. What’s your name? Maybe we can find your mother?”

The little girl sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I no have a mother.”

Arya’s heart squeezed with sadness. She, of all people, knew what it felt like not to have a mother.

“Do you have a father?” Arya asked.

The little girl’s eyes lit up in excitement. Her mop brown curls bobbed up and down.

“Really? Where is he then?” She asked. Arya was trying to maintain her patience with the young lass, but trying to get answers out of a child her age was next to impossible.

The child looked around the courtyard frantically, but couldn’t quite place her stare. Perhaps she is to small to see, thought Arya. With one quick movement she lifted the girl into her arms. She had nestled perfectly onto Arya’s hip and held on to her for dear life. Arya began walking around the courtyard for the little girl to see. For several minutes the girl was silent, that is until they made their way to the castle entrance.

“There is papa.” The girl said as she pointed towards the castle gates.

Arya turned and her breath had caught in her throat. Coming into the castle on a brown horse was a man with the most beautiful ocean eyes that she had ever seen. Ocean eyes that she never thought she would see again.

But that is impossible. The little girl she had in her arms looked nothing like him. Her hair was a muddied brown and her eyes were an undeniable hazel.

“What is your name?” She asked the little girl in her arms.

She looked up at Arya and smiled, “I am Lyra Baratheon. My papa calls me the little Lady of Storm’s End.”

Arya’s mind begins to get fuzzy. She was trying to put pieces of an impossible puzzle together. Had she really expected him to wait all this time for her? And what about the child’s mother? Why did she not look like him? How could she have been so stupid? Of corse he would move on. She gave him reasons to. But that didn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.

Arya looked up one more time, this time those ocean blue eyes were staring right at her.

Only one thing could come to his mind, “Arya?”

#gendrya #arya stark #gendry waters #jonerys #got #gotspoilers #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #d&d #arya x gendry

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gg-astrology · 6 years ago

Note

hi dear! i love how complete and entertaining your readings are. could you please talk about got7’s yugyeom natal chart? i’m always amazed by all the duality in his personality

Hey there!! 💞💞 Thank u so much sdnfkns I lov him so much my toll tree baby I’ll do my best for a brief outlook ok 💞

[GOT7 Yugyeom’s Brief Outlook]

ok lets pull up his chart??

Scorpio Sun | Gemini Moon | Sagittarius Mercury | Capricorn Venus-Mars oooof!

Wanna talk about that Capricorn Venus/Mars first, dedicated and serious. Preserving, when he loves something he dedicates so much of his time/effort into perfecting it even if it’s minuscule

Anything that he’s criticized on is just something he’ll push forward/more effort into. With Capricorn there’s a preservation and resilience about them, objectively– they’re one of those combination that can make you love deeply and strongly, but may often want to ‘prove/show’ it instead of boast about themselves

Which is common, because they’re not much for words when it comes to something they truly feel deeply about. If they start talking about it, they might worry it becomes boastful, egoistic or overstating themselves more than they should be.

So demonstrating/self-expressing, putting in quiet effort and behind-the-scene work is mostly how Capricorn Venus/Mars might often ‘perfect’ their skills

The idea of Capricorn wanting recognition is true– but it’s more like, they’re afraid of saying/eating their own feet if people start criticizing/doubting them. If they can show someone what they have, and be praised for it. Then they’ll take as much as they can get, y know?

Like ‘I’ll bring the work, you call the price however you see fit’ because they believe in integrity of character.

That’s Capricorn Venus/Mars– so much resilience, wants to have healthy confidence/pride in themselves, quiet but resolute. Stand strong on their own legs/skill-set so that they can’t be doubted.

With Capricorn/Scorpio combination there’s a lot of loyalty here, personal integrity and devotion. Not just to their craft, but to people as well. They can be hilarious character, if they open up a little more about themselves (but might not like talking about personal/vulnerabilities/issues)

They are however– there for others when they need them. And can dedicate a lot of effort helping/stabilizing someone out even if they don’t need to be (something we can all learn to save/work healthier in)

Next is that combination of Sagittarius Mercury and Gemini Moon, this is a contrast against the Capricorn/Scorpio seriousness sometimes. Like there’s a side that is truly loyal, devoted, dedicated. Yet at the same time, he may come across as someone who’s a jokester, mischevious, a little more perky and light-hearted (can be moody/irritated someones) but never really like– Mad mad y know?

Just stern sometimes. But yeah, with Sagittarius Mercury and Gemini Moon there’s a side that is truly devoted to learning. Communicating and humbling himself in a really organic/natural way that others around him can connect to him genuinely/sincerely.

They may often have an anxious/nervous energy about them that might make someone stay up late sometimes, wonder ‘why did i do that?’ when things doesn’t go as planned (impulsivity) can be serious one moment and then carefree (or appear to be carefree) the next.

Underneath all that is just a person who is often thriving to learn more, a life-long student who continues to think he may have prestige in certain area (is healthily confident in skills) but there are things that would still humble him/keep him on his toes learning still. It’s amazing?

They may be a little scatter-minded sometimes, Cap/Scorp doesn’t save that from them. When he’s on a roll, he’s on a roll. But when he gets distracted, everything kinda drops (kinda like wind)

There’s an element of being chatty when they’re comfortable, although the rest of his placement might point to shyness– this Gemini Moon can share a lot with others if they are comfortable with them.

Making people who know him well going ‘where was the shy boy from before?’ – he’s still there, that’s a part of him. It’s just that Gemini Moon may often ‘switch things up’, a natural worrier, but also speaks so much and not about the things they should be speaking about/is bothering them sometimes as well. It can be developed, so no worries though

Lots of versatility with this Gemini Moon, great analysis, doesn’t need big words in order to express their point across. In fact he might prefer strong pointed words that gets the point across rather than walking around the subject, there’s a straight-forwardness to these placements. Sometimes even lacking tact if he’s agitated/snappy about something.

With Sagittarius Mercury there’s might be having strong morals/beliefs in certain subjects, possibly religion/higher-education/values. These people are great at getting others to open up/talking about deeper stuff, but they counterbalance it with a certain lightness.

It’s a game, the conversation is a game. There’ll be tests sometimes, like ‘what your true values are’ slipping in and out of it, but at the same time they enjoy interactions that are natural and varied. People who can talk about various subjects with them with the same kind of bounce/energy is fun to be around for these natives.

Teasing, a lot of good feels, but also at the same time– dedicated and passionate spirit y know? Passionate Scorpio and Sagittarius, can be quite rebellious that helps push the ‘mischievous’ nature up a bit more.

Combine with Capricorn he can sometimes be strict/stern when things don’t align with his moral/values/belief– if someone is uselessly complaining, sleazy, insincere. He won’t like that at all. (Prefers effort, dedication, sincerity and is semi-good at self-expression or getting others to open up, which is really nice)

With Scorpio in the mix, he can be very observant, patience/tolerant occasionally, critical and comes through a lot as someone who likes to self-express themselves.

Scorpio likes to have fun, once you have your base set (fixed) you can be mischievous when you want to be. The idea is that certain things are reactive, evoke a reaction. Certain things are ‘whatever’ but when you need them the most, they are stable, dependable and reliable/comes through for you.

Bratty occasionally, as opposed to Capricorn’s seriousness. With Scorpio they can often handle themselves, but also needs appreciation/affection from others in order to grow as well (transform/regenerate)

A Scorpio that is often self-deprecating themselves will often exhibit the darker side to others, becoming actions that hurts others (willfully) stemming from strong ego. However, a Scorpio who is nurtured and uses this energy for healthier transformation– can often be someone who protects, guides and heal others as well.

Sun/Neptune sextile (also sextile Lilith) evoke a stronger sense of compassion and understanding in his character. Sometimes rose-tinted glasses/gets hurt easily (because they may believe in integrity of characters) but most of the time, they can be sensitive and caring individual with a lot of creative potential.

Self-expression is the main theme here, a lot of the time Sun/Neptune are one of those people are often dreamy or imaginative, has a lot of things to give and thus– putting it out there and expressing that outwards is something that’s – uhh, something they desire to do but can be scared of criticism as well (considering everything else?)

Soft-hearted with this combination, but he grows from experience y know

Moon/Mars opposition – in this case, it’s because his Gemini Moon is at 27′ (with the unknown birth time) it could’ve been moved into Cancer. Making it aspect Capricorn Mars at 5′. Anyways, Moon/Mars people might find themselves often being physically expressive on certain subjects- particularly, using their body to communicate their feelings outwards. Once they’re excited about something, their arms/limb might start moving. But with his placement in particular, it might be likely that it’s less flailing limbs but more comforting touches.

Security, guarding, letting people know he’s there for them. These kind of physical touches might be more common in order to express himself/show people that he cares for them. This kinda works in combination with the Sun/Neptune earlier– he may often guard his vulnerabilities by putting on a non-affected front (Capricorn Mars) even if he is sensitive inside.

Detachment may be a coping mechanism, in order to handle things. Analyzing things from a distance instead of in the situation/circumstance, he may be ‘strong’ in some areas but his feelings run deep and it does hurt when things/people he cares about are hurt as well.

Competitive spirit may be common, but sometimes not– said outright. Like there’s an idea of getting moody if certain things affect his emotions/values of himself, and thus he pushes it into physically doing better, being better. In order to ‘test’ if it really does work or if he still needs improvement (see if he can do it or not)

Sometimes it can make someone focus so much on themselves/what they do that their bluntness can become offensive. Even if they’re just stating out their opinion, there’s a possibility that Moon/Mars can make like– a whirl pool inside so much it becomes self-absorption instead (if you have this, make sure to guard against it as well).

Anyways, he also has some pretty good Mercury aspects as well!

Mercury/Jupiter sextile, Mercury/Pluto conjunction, Mercury/Saturn trine.

Mercury/Jupiter really helps enhance how versatile and flexible he can be, particularly when it comes to learning about other cultures, different view points, talking it out and education.

I was thinking about this already with Gemini Moon– because it can make a person really smart, but with Mercury/Jupiter combination it can make someone extremely generous and thoughtful when they actually apply it. Even if the execution is crass or ‘needs work’ sometimes, the intention is often good and it makes them well-liked by people around them (individually very popular)

They’re great learners, often someone who would benefit a lot from talking/discussing things with others – particularly different variety of people. Maybe even of different backgrounds, religion, culture as well. Jupiter is expansive, when applied to the Mind (especially in Sagittarius) it makes a person enthusiastic, a curious learner – some of it might have to do with Mercury/Pluto conjunct, making him observant/quick to pick things up as well.

There’s potential to be good at learning languages, or guiding others. If he really puts his mind to it – this can be? hard to do since it’s scattered, but unconventional style of learning/just from experience and exposure can help a lot.

Ah and also— since Saturn is in Aries, if he learns something and put his effort into it but then discontinued it– it’s quite common? But also doing something out of spite– of someone else trying to tell him what to do would just push him to find an alternative as well skdjnjs

That makes way into Venus, Venus/Saturn square specifically. Sometimes when he wants to do something, dedicate a lot of time/effort into it he can sometimes find himself pushing, challenging, working so hard to achieve recognition for it.

His self-expression wants to be acknowledged, yet at the same time he may have an attitude of being hyper-critical and blunt with his thoughts that it tends to intimidate/come across as – well, rude sometimes if he doesn’t learn tact.

At the same time, there can be trouble expressing vulnerabilities. Deeper thoughts and care for others may be categorized as ‘vulnerabilities’ and thus– when his Capricorn Venus meets with Aries Saturn, it can make for someone who shuts down emotionally ‘Im fine’ just to get the work done y know?

It’s not that big of a deal, but sometimes they may have paranoia/think others are against them thus– their approach is always on the defensive. Defending themselves, even if they could get places if they learn how to use some more venusian tactics in their approach

Venus/Mars conjunction can make for a pretty strong personality. Particularly, Capricorn traits. With it in these placements, the individual may be someone who ‘shuts down’ when they’re mad/need to concentrate. Being quiet, often a little intense/intimidating even if they didn’t know they are. They may often offer advice, be a shoulder to cry on for others since they seem so ‘stable’ – yet at the same time, they are powerful individuals themselves

I think that’s it?? He doesn’t have as many aspect, I left out Jupiter/Saturn sextile, Jupiter/Uranus conjunct and Uranus/Neptune conjunct, but briefly – Jupiter/Saturn might amplify the earlier Capricorn traits. A little bit more Aquarian in nature as well – since his Jupiter is in Aquarius.

As an ending ment: strong intensity, may prefer the work to speak for itself, can be charming/chatty when he wants to be– but certain instances his patience may become ‘impatience’ instead. There’s moments where he knows exactly what he wants and other times where he’s just clueless to where he’s wandering. Dichotomies even if he isn’t necessarily making aspects between these placements, it’s really cool to look at this!

Alrighty, feel like this one’s kind of…. basic?? I’m trying to get into the groove of it again, but I hope this is nice enough for you💞💞

#anon #asks #kpop astrology #got7 #got7 astrology #got7 yugyeom #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #yugyeom got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 reactions #yugyeom imagines #yugyeom reactions #yugyeom scenarios

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stars--n--stripes-blog · 5 years ago

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Like any religion, wokeness understands the need to convert children. The old Jesuit motto (sometimes attributed to Voltaire) was, after all, “Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man.” And so I was moved but not particularly surprised by George Packer’s tale of a progressive school banishing separate restrooms for boys and girls because this reinforces the gender binary. The school did not inform parents of this, of course:

Parents only heard about it when children started arriving home desperate to get to the bathroom after holding it in all day. Girls told their parents mortifying stories of having a boy kick open their stall door. Boys described being afraid to use the urinals. Our son reported that his classmates, without any collective decision, had simply gone back to the old system, regardless of the new signage: Boys were using the former boys’ rooms, girls the former girls’ rooms. This return to the familiar was what politicians call a “commonsense solution.” It was also kind of heartbreaking.

As an analogy for the price of progressivism, it’s close to perfect. Authorities impose an ideology onto reality; reality slowly fights back. The question is simply how much damage is done by this kind of utopianism before it crumbles under its own weight. Simple solutions — like a separate, individual gender-neutral bathroom for the tiny minority with gender dysphoria or anyone else — are out of bounds. They are, after all, reinforcing the idea that girls and boys are different. And we cannot allow biology, evolution, reproductive strategy, hormones, chromosomes, and the customs of every single human culture since the beginning of time to interfere with “social justice.”

It’s also vital to expose children to the fact of their race as the core constituent of their identity. Here is an essay written by a woke teacher about the difficulty of teaching “White boys”:

I spend a lot of my days worried about White boys. I worry about White boys who barely try and expect to be rewarded, who barely care and can’t stand being called on it, who imagine they can go through school without learning much without it impacting in any way the capacity for their future success, just because it never has before.

This sounds to me as if he is describing, well, boys of any race. And when boys are labeled as “White” (note the capital “W”) and this requires specific rules not applied to nonwhite boys, they often — surprise! — don’t like it:

This week, a student spoke up in class to say that every time a particular writer talked about White people and their role in racism, he would start to feel really guilty, and it made him not want to listen … I try to keep an arm around the boys who most need it, but it’s hard, because I’m also not willing to give an inch on making my room safe for my students of color. It’s not their job to keep hurting while White boys figure it out.

Children, in other words, are being taught to think constantly about race, and to feel guilty if they are the wrong one. And, of course, if they resist, that merely proves the point. A boy who doesn’t think he is personally responsible for racism is merely reflecting “white fragility” which is a function of “white supremacy.” QED. No one seems to have thought through the implications of telling white boys that their core identity is their “whiteness,” or worried that indoctrinating kids into white identity might lead quite a few to, yes, become “white identitarians” of the far right.

One of the key aspects about social-justice theory is that it’s completely unfalsifiable (as well as unreadable); it’s a closed circle that refers only to itself and its own categories. (For a searing take down of this huge academic con, check out Douglas Murray’s superb new book, The Madness of Crowds.) The forces involved — “white supremacy,” “patriarchy,” “heterosexism” — are all invisible to the naked eye, like the Holy Spirit. Their philosophical origins — an attempt by structuralist French philosophers to rescue what was left of Marxism in the 1960s and 1970s — are generally obscured in any practical context. Like religion, you cannot prove any of its doctrines empirically, but children are being forced into believing them anyway. This is hard, of course, as this teacher explains: “I’m trying. I am. But you know how the saying goes: You can lead a White male to anti-racism, but you can’t make him think.”

The racism, sexism, and condescension in those sentences! (The teacher, by the way, is not some outlier. In 2014, he was named Minnesota’s Teacher of the Year!) Having taken one form of religion out of the public schools, the social-justice left is now replacing it with the doctrines of intersectionality.

Last week, I defended drag queens reading stories to kids in libraries. I don’t take back my words. Getting children interested in reading with costumed clowns strikes me as harmless. But when I was directed to the website of Drag Queen Story Hours, I found the following:

[DQSH] captures the imagination and play of the gender fluidity of childhood and gives kids glamorous, positive, and unabashedly queer role models. In spaces like this, kids are able to see people who defy rigid gender restrictions and imagine a world where people can present as they wish, where dress up is real.

However well-meant, this is indoctrination into an ideology, not campy encouragement for reading and fun.

And then there is the disturbing “social justice” response to gender-nonconforming boys and girls. Increasingly, girly boys and tomboys are being told that gender trumps sex, and if a boy is effeminate or bookish or freaked out by team sports, he may actually be a girl, and if a girl is rough and tumble, sporty, and plays with boys, she may actually be a boy.

In the last few years in Western societies, as these notions have spread, the number of children identifying as trans has skyrocketed. In Sweden, the number of kids diagnosed with gender dysphoria, a phenomenon stable and rare for decades, has, from 2013 to 2016, increased almost tenfold. In New Zealand, the rate of girls identifying as boys has quadrupled in the same period of time; in Britain, where one NHS clinic is dedicated to trans kids, there were around a hundred girls being treated in 2011; by 2017, there were 1,400.

Possibly this sudden surge is a sign of pent-up demand, as trans kids emerge from the shadows, which, of course, is a great and overdue thing. The suffering of trans kids can be intense and has been ignored for far too long. But maybe it’s also some gender non-conforming kids falling prey to adult suggestions, or caused by social contagion. Almost certainly it’s both. But one reason to worry about the new explosion in gender dysphoria is that it seems recently to be driven by girls identifying as boys rather than the other way round. Female sexuality is more fluid and complex than male sexuality, so perhaps girls are more susceptible to ideological suggestion, especially when they are also taught that being a woman means being oppressed.

In the case of merely confused or less informed kids, the consequences of treatment can be permanent. Many of these prepubescent trans-identifying children are put on puberty blockers, drugs that suppress a child’s normal hormonal development, and were originally designed for prostate cancer and premature puberty. The use of these drugs for gender dysphoria is off-label, unapproved by the FDA; there have been no long-term trials to gauge the safety or effectiveness of them for gender dysphoria, and the evidence we have of the side effects of these drugs in FDA-approved treatment is horrifying. Among adults, the FDA has received 24,000 reports of adverse reactions, over half of which it deemed serious. Parents are pressured into giving these drugs to their kids on the grounds that the alternative could be their child’s suicide. Imagine the toll of making a decision about your child like that?

Eighty-five percent of gender-dysphoric children grow out of the condition — and most turn out to be gay. Yes, some are genuinely trans and can and should benefit from treatment. And social transition is fine. But children cannot know for certain who they are sexually or emotionally until they have matured past puberty. Fixing their “gender identity” when they’re 7 or 8, or even earlier, administering puberty blockers to kids as young as 12, is a huge leap in the dark in a short period of time. It cannot be transphobic to believe that no child’s body should be irreparably altered until they are of an age and a certainty to make that decision themselves.

I don’t have children, but I sure worry about gay kids in this context. I remember being taunted by some other kids when I was young — they suggested that because I was mildly gender-nonconforming, I must be a girl. If my teachers and parents and doctors had adopted this new ideology, I might never have found the happiness of being gay and comfort in being male. How many gay kids, I wonder, are now being led into permanent physical damage or surgery that may be life-saving for many, but catastrophic for others, who come to realize they made a mistake. And what are gay adults doing to protect them? Nothing. Only a few ornery feminists, God bless them, are querying this.

In some ways, the extremism of the new transgender ideology also risks becoming homophobic. Instead of seeing effeminate men as one kind of masculinity, as legitimate as any other, transgenderism insists that girliness requires being a biological girl. Similarly, a tomboy is not allowed to expand the bandwidth of what being female can mean, but must be put into the category of male. In my view, this is not progressive; it’s deeply regressive. There’s a reason why Iran is a world leader in sex-reassignment surgery, and why the mullahs pay for it. Homosexuality in Iran is so anathema that gay boys must be turned into girls, and lesbian girls into boys, to conform to heterosexual norms. Sound a little too familiar?

Adults are increasingly forced to obey the new norms of “social justice” or be fired, demoted, ostracized, or canceled. Many resist; many stay quiet; a few succumb and convert. Children have no such options.

Indoctrinate yourselves as much as you want to, guys. It’s a free country. But hey, teacher — leave those kids alone.

By Andrew Sullivan

#transgender ideology #transgender children #transwomen #transmen #indoctrination #mental health #*

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hellsbellssinclub · 7 years ago

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Can You See Me Now? Chapter 1

This is my newest Batman fic.

Summary:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

After some nudging from Spoiler and Batgirl, Tim seeks out the Red Hood to ask the older teen for permission into his territory to follow up a lead. It was a small, innocent action but it was the starting point for both Tim and Jason to get to know each other.

But things are never as they seem and things always get better before they get worst.

Read it here on AO3

(Sorry to mobile users, the read more I put on the post does not seem to be working on the app)

“Look, I’m just saying that there is probably more to everything than what Batman told you. Maybe the now not dead Robin isn’t as bad as you think.” The young woman in the eggplant purple suit said for the seventh time in the last fifteen minutes.

“And I am telling you he broke into Titan Tower and beat me with my own bow staff, Spoiler.” Tim sighed, looking over at his Ex, feeling the dull burn of his broken ribs as he breathed in deep. “I know that Batman isn’t telling me everything about what happened. Neither is Nightwing or Agent A. I am in the dark as much as you. But really, I think there might just be a chance that he holds a teeny tiny little grudge against me.”

Steph shook her head at him. “I know he beat you and I know something went down with the Joker but!” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything over her. “I have looked into every kill and action he has made. From start to finish. While he has been incredibly violent, and well, bloody and stuff, he has not killed an innocent person. Everyone he killed were violent drug dealers and pimps who were hurting the working girls. Crime has gone down in his territory in the last month.”

Tim gave her a pained look. He knew that Jason Todd as the Red Hood was technically doing a lot of good for Crime Alley, a place that has not had a stable crime lord or hand controlling it since Bruce was still a kid. And with Bruce’s own personal dislike of the area because of what happened to his parents and the GCPD’s unwillingness to investigate anything that happens there, Crime Alley often went unchecked and unnoticed by everyone. The Red Hood had strict rules he was willing to enforce and from what Tim had managed to overhear so far, the people who lived in Crime Alley felt a lot safer with the Red Hood around.

But that still does not change the fact that Jason was completely unstable and willing to murder nearly everyone who got in his way. The former Robin was willing to take that extra step to make his point. There had already been at least fifteen cases of torture reported to the GCPD that they know about.

(Though most of those cases were of convicted paedophiles and child molesters and honestly, Tim could not really fault the former Robin for what he did there; he too occasionally got the urge to do horrible things to predators as well, though he himself never acted on it.)

Red Hood’s official death toll was almost at sixty with the possibility of the GCPD finding more bodies every day. Crime Alley might be safer for the people who live there, but that safety was brought with blood and death caused by Jason’s hands. It was not the kind of safety that would last long. Not in Gotham anyway.

At least Jason’s vendetta against the Bat’s had died down though after whatever happened with the Joker that night nearly a month and a half ago. Bruce was not willing to share what had happened and the older man deleted the Cowl Cam footage before anyone else had a chance to see it. The Joker still lived, which was unfortunate in his own personal opinion. Yes, Tim fully believed in Bruce’s ‘save everyone you can’ view of the world but if he was to be honest, Tim would not grieve if the Joker was to be violently murdered by someone. Because really, that cockroach needed to die and just be stopped permanently.

“While I do agree that the whole, you know, serial killer-antihero thing is working in Crime Alley, it still doesn’t change the fact that he beat me up and tried to kill B and N. I really don’t think he wants me to come into his territory and act like we are friends or something.” Tim kicked a stone off the ledge they were standing on. Yes, he was still holding a grudge. But who could blame him really? He got beaten up by his predecessor while said predecessor wore an absolutely horrid copy of the original, green panties, Robin suit.

“I’m not saying go out and act like his friend, Robin!” Steph waved her hands again. “I am saying maybe you could extend the olive branch to him? Because from what you have told me, the guy was murdered in a pretty traumatic way, woke up in his own grave, dug his way out and then was more or less prisoner of those crazy assassin dudes who are obsessed with immortality? Maybe if you and the other Bat’s give him a chance to talk and stuff without the Joker and explosives involved you could actually get through to him. Everything that he has done to you guys, have you considered perhaps it was a cry for help?”

Tim sighed. “When you put it like that you make us sound like a bunch of dicks you know.” He shook his head and slumped his shoulders. She was right. But only to a point. Jason’s actions at the Tower and his anger at the Bats could be seen as a cry for help, especially given what they did know about the trauma that Jason went through. “But it still doesn’t take away the point that he attacked me and the others and while he hasn’t made another attempt against me, he has fought B and Nightwing recently.”

“He probably fought them because they were the ones who entered his territory.” Steph pointed out. That was also true, if Jason had come into his territory he probably would have attacked the older teen without a second thought. He could see the former Robin doing the same if Bruce and Dick tried to enter Crime Alley. “I get it Tim, I really do. He hurt you and that sucks ass. I am not saying that you have to forgive him or anything. I am just saying maybe extend the olive branch to him. You were saying before that one the leads in one of your cases, the one with the underground alien tech, was in Crime Alley, right? Let him know that you are following up on a lead and that you will not cause any trouble for him.”

He gave a low hum of thought at that. Tim’s original plan for that case was to go out in the day, skipping his afternoon study hall at school and going to look for the tech without his gear. It would have been risky but there would have been a better chance that he would not run into the Red Hood. There also would have been a greater chance that he would have been mugged because he looks like a rich white boy with money (which you know, he is), but Tim was confident he could have taken on anyone who attacked him.

But going and asking for permission? Tim had not even considered that an option at all. And honestly, why would he? Jason Todd had made it clear that he hated his ‘Replacement’ and that he wanted nothing to do with the Bats and Birds of Gotham. How would the older teen react? He wondered. Would he attack Tim? Or would he let him pass?

“Hey, if you don’t feel that you can be near him with without him attacking you then you should just bring Batgirl with you.” Steph grinned at him behind her Spoiler mask. Smiling always looked so strange behind her mask but one can definitely see the outline of it. Tim could not help but roll his eyes at her words though.

“I am not bringing Batgirl with me like some kind of bodyguard. I am a grown ass vigilante, I don’t need a bodyguard.” He wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t. He was nearly fifteen, he could take care of himself without Batgirl babysitting him.

“Oh, come on! Batgirl wouldn’t mind! Would you, Batgirl?” Steph looked over his shoulder, causing him to spin around and glare at Cassandra, who was standing a few feet away. He had not noticed at all that she was there and there was a small shock of panic and fear that went through him at that thought. He hates it when people manage to get the drop on him. Cass was the second best in the Bat family at sneaking up on people, right after Bruce.

“We need to put a bell on you before you give me a heart attack.” Tim groaned out, covering his face for a moment. At least Cass never went out of her way to purposely scare him, unlike Nightwing had when Tim was first starting out as Robin. His situational awareness has improved since he was twelve, thank god, and Nightwing was now not able to jump out of the celling and scare him anymore.

Cass gave him a small snort. “Am not Catwoman. Don’t need a bell.” The smirk looked as strange behind Batgirl’s mask as it did Spoiler’s. “I would be happy to bodyguard for you.”

Tim rolled his eyes behind his domino mask. Steph and Cass becoming friends was a horrible idea. He never should have encouraged it. They were both terrible together. Steph always had something to say or do and Cass was always happy to follow her new friend around, enjoying being a teenager like she should. Steph encouraged Cass to step outside her comfort zone and explore being a teen and Cass was willing to do most of the things that Steph suggested.

They were good for each other. But not good for his sanity, seeing as they roped him into following whatever crazy stunt they had planned.

“I don’t need a bodyguard.” He whined at them both. He didn’t need Cass to hold his hand. He could talk to Jason. And if he gets his ass kicked then he could just blame Steph for the idea and spend a week with the Titans licking his wounds.

Not literally. That would be gross. Why is that phrase even a thing?

“Am bodyguard now. No take backs.” Cass nodded, sounding pleased with herself and he groaned in annoyance. He doesn’t need Cass babying him. He is Robin! Terror of the Night and Batman’s partner. He hated being babied by Cass and Dick. They always pulled the ‘I am the older sibling and you are the baby of the family’ card on him. He can’t wait until he could be the big brother. One day he will give the Robin suit up and then he can be the one babying someone else. “Why is a bodyguard needed?” Cass asked, moving to stand next to Steph.

Before Tim had a chance to say anything, his purple menace of an Ex-Girlfriend spoke. “Tim is going to go and ask the Red Hood if he could go into Crime Alley. We need you to bodyguard him because we don’t know if the Red Hood is going to beat Tim up again or not.”

Tim shook his head. “Names, Spoiler. No names on the field.” He reminded her, closing his eyes in annoyance. Steph was bad when it came to remembering the ‘no names on the field’ rule now that she knows his name. If he didn’t know better he would say that she is doing it out of spite because he didn’t tell her it himself.

And Cass was either going to be all for being Tim’s bodyguard or she is going to be against it and honestly, he wasn’t sure which one he preferred.

On one hand, there are a lot of advantages to having Cass actually guard him while he spoke to Jason. Mostly all of them were that she could kick Jason’s ass. It wouldn’t matter how skilled Jason now is, Cass would win.

On the other hand, if she is against it she could go and tell Bruce which would end up with him benched and on the receiving end of a cold shoulder and disappointed glare for the next month or so. And he would probably have several new trackers placed on his person without his consent. Because B can occasionally forget to use his words and just say ‘I am worried about you, please be safe’ out loud.

Mind you, Bruce is still a lot better at emotions than Jack Drake. Tim’s father only really did emotions in small, but over whelming bursts. Which means Tim usually gets a weekend or two of father-son like interactions and then it is several weeks of ‘we exist in the same house but are mostly strangers to each other’. Which is always fun.

Cass said nothing for a few moments, her head tilting to the side slightly as she no doubt read Tim’s body language and seeing his hesitance and his inner monologue. “What’s in Crime Alley?” She asked finally.

“A lead to one of my cases. The alien tech one that I have been working solo on.” Tim explained. Cass had not yet said yes or no and he was still very much undecided on which way he wanted her to choose.

“Come on! Big bad Batgirl can definitely take on the Red Hood if he tries to hurt our Baby Bird!” Steph wrapped an arm around Cass’s shoulders. “And you guys can extend an olive branch to the guy by being nice and you know, asking to be let into his territory.”

Cass hummed, which once again was not a yes or a no. She gently shook off Steph’s arm and looked at both Tim and Steph. “Why extend the olive branch?” She asked. “He is a murderer. He kills people and makes Batman sad, here.” She pointed to her chest, right above her heart.

Whelp, that’s an understatement. Anything to do with Jason Todd hurt Bruce. When Tim was first starting out as Robin he could barely mention Jason’s name without Bruce completely shutting down. It had gotten better over the years. Sometimes Bruce would mention Jason in passing or would say something about how the young boy used to be. But now that it was known that the Red Hood is Jason Todd, things have gone back to the way they were at the start and Tim did not know what to do other than avoid mentioning Jason or the Red Hood all together.

“Spoiler believes that there is more to the story than what B has said and that there we should hear Hood out and let him tell his side of the story.” Tim explained with another sigh. He wondered how many times he was going to end up sighing in this conversation and thought to himself that perhaps he should stop doing so already because ow, his ribs do not like it when he sighs at all. “She also believes there is a chance that his behaviour and actions could have been a cry for help and that we should perhaps try and talk to him instead of you know, fighting at any given chance.”

“Yep! That is some good summary skills there, Ex-Boyfriend of mine.” Steph nodded and looked at Cass expectedly. The mask made it impossible to tell what Cass was thinking. Not that it was easy for him to read Cassandra without the mask but it was slightly easier without the frankly unsettling mask staring at you in the eyes.

There is a good reason as to why he would never go for a full-face mask when he finally is ready to let go of being Robin. And that reason is that is that he is more than likely going to see his mask in the reflection of a window or something and then forget that it is his mask and then scream in fear. Which you know, would ruin the whole serious vigilante look he would be hoping for.

Thus, he will probably only stick to a domino. Or a cowl. But a cowl is slightly too Batman like and Tim did not want to be Batman. He would have to think on this more in-depth later.

“Cry for help?” Cass tilted her head again. “You believe that the killing is his way of crying for help?” If anyone else had said that, Tim would believe that they were being dismissive or sarcastic. But Cass just sounded curious.

“Well, yeah.” Steph waved her hands carelessly as she began to explain. “I met him a few times back when he was Robin. He was a great guy. He was kind. Sure, he was a little bit rougher than Nightwing was when dealing with scumbags and stuff but he always stuck around to make sure that the victims were okay. All of his interactions with you Bats so far look like lashing out and cries for help if you ask me. I mean, he dressed up in a frankly fucked up Robin costume and beat up Tim. He was apparently angry that there wasn’t a statue of him in the Tower like there was for all the other dead heroes and whatever the hell happened with the Joker and Batman was well…” She trailed off.

Tim shrugged. “No one knows what the hell happened with those three.” And it wasn’t from lack of trying to find out either. Bruce was tight lipped about the whole thing and the Joker apparently only laughed when he was asked what happened. Tim suspected that Alfred knew what went down because the older man had been very stiff and cold towards Bruce for several weeks and has only just started to warm back up to him again.

“You think that we should reach out to him?” Cass asked. “Show him we can offer help?”

Steph nodded enthusiastically at Cass’s attempt to clarify what they were telling her.

“I do think that! And I think that Wonder Boy here is the best person to do it.” She gently punched Tim’s shoulder as she said this, making him rock back a little close to the edge. Steph may not be a meta but her punches, gentle or not, were stronger than she realised.

“Why can’t you do it? He hates me.” Tim pointed out. He really did not understand why she wanted him to do this. Yes, getting permission from the Red Hood could open up a professional relationship between them where they could actively avoid each other unless they needed to do something in the other’s territory. And yes, he could definitely see Steph’s point about how Jason’s actions did seem like a huge cry for help.

But Tim has already been beaten once by Jason and he honestly did not want to have another round with the older teen. The fight between them showed Tim just how much he was lacking in his training and he could not help but feel a deep, festering bitterness that he would never be as good as Jason was. As good as Dick was. It was a bitterness he was trying to push away and forget about but it never seemed to go away.

Tim didn’t want to offer the older teen help and then accidentally drive him away because he could not get a hold of his own mental health issues. Issues that he needed to actually address sometime soon, least he turn into Bruce. Or a supervillain. Either one would be bad for his health in the long run.

Steph punched his shoulder again, this time harder; causing him to wince because ow, why, that hurts. “Because Boy Blunder, you don’t have any history at all with him. Except for, you know, him beating you. And you are more than likely a trigger for him because you are now Robin. But still, you at least don’t have a history like Batman and Nightwing do. And he knows nothing about you as a person! He probably only knows what he has read about you from the assassins he was with!”

“All the more reason why you should talk to him and not me! You are a stranger to him, not me! Spoiler is new and not actually connected to Batman and Robin. And if you haven’t noticed I am Robin and something tells me he does not like that I am Robin.” Tim waved his hands in what he could best describe as ‘I am emphasizing my point and you are not listening to me’. He learnt this gesture from Steph when they first became friends and has used it a lot over the years.

“Look Tim; think about it like this. You are brutally tortured and murdered. You wake up in your own grave, dig your way out and are taken in by evil assassins. You spend who knows how long with said assassins and find out you have been replaced by a younger, better model who comes from the complete opposite background as you do. Your attempt to kill your murderer doesn’t work and your father figure is a dick. How do you feel?” Steph put her head in her hands and sighed before continuing.

“You need to be the one who talks to him because you are a Bat and someone who probably makes him feel like he was replaced by a better, richer model and that you are everything that he isn’t. If you talk to him, show him you are an actual person and not some cardboard cut-out of someone who he wasn’t, then maybe you could actually get him to talk about what happened to him and help him! Yes, I am a stranger to him and while we could get along and stuff he is going to need someone who is a Bat to speak to him at some point and…” She groaned. “I messed up my point. Tim, you are someone who is actually a part of all of this mess. I am not. Just, go and ask him for permission to enter his territory. If he says no then he says no. I will go and follow up that lead for you if that is the case. But please, try at least.”

Tim groaned again and looked over at Cass to see what she had to say about all of this.

“You,” Cass pointed at Steph. “You want Robin to talk to Red Hood. Because Red Hood is hurting. And needs help. Robin means a lot to Red Hood. It was his name, who he was before the Joker killed him. If Robin shows that he is not…” She waved her hand in a very vague but Steph like manner. “If Robin shows that he is not who Red Hood thought he was then the Red Hood will feel less like he is replaced or… unworthy? Red Hood was a good Robin. Now he is not good as the Red Hood. Bad things happened to the Red Hood, made him hard and angry. Extending olive branch might help.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Steph let out a low breath. “Why are you guys so good at summarising everything?”

“Nightwing.” Both Tim and Cass said together. Dick had a habit of not only rambling but also talking fast and without breaks. A habit of both his ADHD and from being best friends with a Speedster. Anyone who works or is with Dick for long periods of time learns how to summarise what he says.

It is a handy trick for Tim to know, seeing as he is also best friends with a Speedster and Steph has a habit of rambling herself at times.

“So…?” Steph trailed off and Tim, though he said to himself that he wasn’t going to do it because ow, sighed and completely ignored the pain in his chest.

“If Batgirl is willing to bodyguard than I will go and ask Red Hood for permission into his territory.” Tim felt slightly defeated. He wanted to keep arguing that he really wasn’t sure that this was a good idea for either Jason or himself but at the same time he knows he would feel crap if he said no because Steph’s points were more than likely all true and-

And he did not want to be a person who ignores someone else who could be in need of help because he was selfish.

Tim has been lucky. Since becoming Robin he has had a wonderful support network that he has used a lot over the years and would never trade for anything in the world. Jason does not have that. Or at least Tim was pretty sure that Jason does not have that.

“I will bodyguard. Will only interfere if you are attacked. I will stay in the shadows and away from sight.” Cass said. “We do this tonight, on next patrol. It is late now. Time for bed soon.”

Cass was right, it was getting close to four am and Tim was due back into the Cave in less than half an hour. He was thankful that he did not have any classes until nine am because he wanted to have more than an hour sleep when he finally got back to his home.

“Oh wow. Today went quicker than expected.” Steph rocked back on her heels. “I am stuck in class tomorrow night but I expect to have at least three texts telling me how it all went from you both. Got it?”

Tim rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes, yes. Three texts. If I get beat up you are so making me waffles.” He pulled her into a quick hug.

“Whatever, Ex-Boyfriend.” Steph pulled Cass into a hug of her own and then was grappling away with a careless wave.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” He asked Cassandra quietly now that they were alone on the ledge. Cass looked at him, the eyes on her mask stared directly into his own white out lenses.

“I think… that there is a possibility that the Red Hood is falling without a net. And that his lines may have been cut by accident. By Batman. By Robin.” She paused and looked up at the dark sky. “We can offer him a new line. And a net. Falling without a net or line… It is not good. That mindset. You feel like you are flying, until you hit the ground.”

Tim flinched at that imagery. Jason had been hurt by the Joker and whatever the hell happened with his resurrection and the League of Assassins. The trauma alone from that would be enough to make enough the sanest man go a little wonky. But whatever happened with B that night with the Joker…

Whatever happened might have taken away his line, like Cass said. But Tim was not overly convinced that this is a good idea. Cass must have read his hesitance because she spoke once more.

“He needs to see you as a person, like Spoiler said. Not just as a costume. He needs to see not Robin but you.” She gestured to his body. “When he attacked you, he was looking for reason as to why you were supposed to be better than him. He wanted to see, prove himself and you, that he was the better one. Because if he was not the better one, than him being replaced would have been a good thing.”

Tim frowned at that. He had not thought of it that way. While he could see the attack against him in the Tower as being a cry for help like Steph kept saying, he did not think to look as to the reasons why it was a cry for help. Steph and Cass both were good at getting him to take a step back and look at the full details of the bigger picture. He would certainly be lost (and probably more emotionally stunted) without them.

Tim knows that he should not use them as a crutch for explaining emotions and details that he may have missed about basic human reactions, but Tim was not ashamed to say that he did not connect with other people well and often missed simple emotional matters that should have been obvious to him. According to the internet, this was probably because he missed out on many key interactions with his parents due to them constantly traveling around the world and leaving him home with a nanny who discouraged most emotional reactions he had. Because his nanny believed that ‘boys don’t do emotions like girls and he should man up already’.

Tim really, really needed to get his mental health checked out sooner rather than later.

“Okay. Yeah, I see your point.” Tim conceded. “What about you? Are you going to try as well?”

Cass hummed and nodded after a moment. “Yes. Will try with Spoiler and Oracle. Give some space between us and you. Keep him from feeling trapped.”

He hummed in agreement and gestured to the edge that they were standing on. “I am heading back to the Cave. I take it you are going back to the Clock Tower?” He asked, feeling drained. This whole conversation and everything about it made him feel like he had fought off an energy sucking monster. He wanted to go back to the Cave, get into his own clothes and head back to his own home. Or maybe just crash at the Manor. He will see what kind of mood B was in when he got to the Cave.

“Back to Clock Tower.” Cass nodded again. “Will Comm you tonight. Find where you and Hood are. Go to bed.” She reached up and ruffled his hair fondly and then flung herself of the ledge with grace that only Nightwing could copy. He watched her grapple her way towards the Clock Tower until she was gone from his sights.

His bike was down in the alleyway below him and it would take him only a short time to get to the Cave from his location. Tomorrow, well tonight really, was going to be interesting to say the least. He would like to say that the growing pit inside his stomach was just anticipation and not the low level of fear at the thought of speaking to Jason face to face.

The Red Hood was volatile, dangerous and had a grudge against the Bats. Tim had no idea how this was going to go and it frightened him. Jason Todd could simply say yes or no. Or he could just shoot Tim in the head and Batgirl or no Batgirl there would be no stopping him if he does.

Normally, being in that kind of situation was sort of exciting. Like a free fall off the top of the Wayne Enterprises tower. It was a rush that left a bubbling feeling in his chest that just screamed ‘I am alive!’ but he did not feel that right now. He just felt a low level of fear bubbling away in his stomach, making him feel nauseous.

Jason made it clear that he did not like Tim. Did not want to be near him or see him. The beating he had taken was not the worst one he had suffered through. But it had hurt him. Hurt him badly because this was Jason Todd. Robin. The boy who Tim used to follow around with a camera around his neck hoping to see in action.

What do you say to a person that had once been one of your heroes after they beat the living shit out of you?

Tim did not want to think about it at all right now. He needed to get back to the Cave and back home before B and his dad start to worry. He would think about it before he goes onto patrol. Not now while his head was clouded. But later when he was rested and ready for the night.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#Can You See Me Now?#batman fic #Batman #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Stephanie Brown #cassandra cain

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paganchristian · 4 years ago

Photo

More swans from another zoo. I might add some more thoughts later that this post sparks, editing this post to add on, as I’ve been doing to some of my posts. Because I don’t have time after posting to immediately add them and I like to look at the picture as I type my thoughts that the pictures elicit for me. As usual, the thoughts might morph into long essays, and I just let them if they do that, in this picture therapy journaling that this blog has mostly turned out to be lately for a while, since pretty early on I guess. If it will ever turn another direction, I wonder but this works at present. Though things I’m posting about might be of dubious value to the general topic of “spirituality” or pagan-Christianity, but it’s more about my personal journey of pagan-Christianity as such includes many personal issues of my own and mine alone probably. Oh well, it’s my journal. It feels important to me, worth putting in public because then it’s not totally secret and repressed like it might feel, and become, unintentionally as my brain says if I can’t say it out loud, why say it at all, even though I try to tell my brain it’s not so. Secrets of oneself and God are still worthy. But my mind keeps eroding away the thoughts I can’t speak to at least the internet.

So anyway, earlier when I thought to post this picture, I was thinking of a few associations it triggered in me. One, swans, and the thoughts it was bringing up. Swans make me think of The Ugly Duckling, in the Hans Christian Andersen fairytale. It makes me think of the theme in fairytales of suffering, and oppression, preceding glory and peace, love and fulfilment, finding your home and belonging, and meaning after great hardship that spans long, difficult times and places and uncertainty. I think that oftentimes it feels to me that it is this hard and painful and slow and deprived kind of path and years of suffering and being kept away from safety, love, and fairness, being kept away and apart, hidden from the flow of life itself, hidden away from opportunity and abundance,.. these things can be the very reason we are later on able to achieve greatness, love, glory, honor, wonder, majesty, magic, or achieve might not be the right idea here, maybe we don’t achieve it but rather it gets granted to us, almost as if a gift, a reward for putting up with and staying the course through all that suffering, but that’s not all.. it’s like the suffering times themselves helped to set us outside the standard, predictable flow of life, and we are in that way shaped and guided, strengthened by the challenges, turned inward by the lack of outward love and peace and goodness, to find in ourselves and to also seek from other realms, when the outside mundane world doesn’t have what we need, or maybe we don’t seek it but it comes to us, when we need it like some kind of fairy godmother or other such blessed beings or objects that are given to those who most desperately need and also who deserve them. But in fairytales those who don’t deserve it often are not given what they desperately need. And those who can’t muster the courage and faith to try often aren’t given what they need either, but only if they can summon the daring and patience and strength and faith to keep trudging on and trying, however unlikely the road ahead, however horrible and terrifying, only then will we get our blessings, only piece by piece, over great grueling years perhaps.

Like a zoo we have to be confined and protected in less than ideal circumstances but in a world where things are often for show and often unkind, there isn’t always the ideal circumstance to help us and we have to accept something that feels degrading and confining sometimes, if we are to be given the support and the limitations we need, too, because we also need limitations to keep us in check so we don’t just go out of control, get confused, get lazy, overindulgent, swayed with the winds, the numbness and excess and lack of direction and selfishness and arrogance that often look harmless and are praised in average culture and only through so much limitation can those weaknesses be seen and be shaped and given the restraint that we can’t find in ourselves, too weak, full of excuses and uncertainty to make ourselves do right.

So I feel like life and all its difficulties for me has made me slowly but surely open more and deeper over time to the surreal, the spiritual, morals and values that often are completely overlooked by most modern people, or even just most people, overlooked by humans and human nature and life as it usually is lived, as it has to be lived, in the rush and chaos and overwhelm, fear, lack and panic and worry and escapism and frivolity that tend to dominate human life with all its pain and craziness, no matter what society and what age and place and time.

But it feels to me that some people really desperately need to have these limitations placed on them, these hardships and restraints and problems and sufferings, illness, confusion, loneliness, being so weird and unwanted, and all the things that have made me so confused and hurt and lost and alone, the spiritual existential confusion, all these things,.. And if they had that and if they still had enough love in their lives or enough support or enough of something to keep them going then they would in time learn what they need to know.. But sometimes, with some people, it looks to me like instead of experiencing these limits and trials they need, they really have it too easy, ... And so instead they seem to just stagnate and grow numb and unable to make themselves try to change or open their minds or grow and see new values that are outside the norms. And while they feel so depressed and alone and tired of life as it is, nothing will push them out of their comfort zone so they just stay stuck.

And I’m thinking of that in relation to my family member. When are they ever going to be shaken out of their comfortable path so that their heart, soul, mind and lifestyle can grow and change? Because it feels that is what made me change so much and finally in time find what I need. But they don’t have that instability and desperation so they remain very much the same over the years. And yet I don’t think that I know what is best, and if they were disrupted it could go very badly. I have had times when my whole life was chaos and I didn’t know if I would survive it and I would never assume that chaos and desperation in any given form are what someone else needs. I wouldn’t try to push them into pressure and chaos and confrontation to make them feel forced into trying something new, because I’ve been forced to try new things that ended up making me so miserable that I thought I truly might not survive and looking back I can only be glad that is past me now. I can only be glad and wonder that I did survive it all so far and hope I always will in the future if anything upsets my world and heart and mind and soul too much again one day. I can’t feel like it was God who designed it all to be as it was because the toll exacted against me through some of my tormented years seems more than necessary, more than the benefit and I just wonder if I will make it in the long run and I just don’t know how to make sense of it all. Who can say what God’s plan is and if you can’t say then anything can go, because anything can be explained as just part of the mystery.

Anyway, I wish that my family member that I’m so close to (or closest of any of my family, anyway) might have just enough difficulty to make them really search and try new things they need to search and try and look and see, but how much difficulty and how fast, I don’t know. Maybe they really must stay as they are now, for who knows how long. How can I say that their whole path in life is not meant to be totally different from mine and maybe if they look like they never change and grow, that is how they are meant to be, because they are changing and growing but not in the ways I can understand, and maybe they’re meant to not just change and grow but to stay strong and stable in ways I could never do, and that is the whole point and purpose of their life? How can I know? Maybe it’s more about love and openness of heart, rather than being strong and stable or being growing and changing, either one? It’s all so much relative and subjective reality since I think it’s hard for me to say, are they changing and growing? Are they loving and caring and open-hearted? Are they strong and stable? Or none of those things? I could make the case for answering yes or no to any of those questions because it is hard to say, but so easy to make assumptions, distort perceptions without meaning to, see only half the story because so much of another’s inner world will always be unknown to us. We’re unknown to our own selves so very often, because of how complicated our mind and hearts and souls are.

So I don’t know, for whatever those things are worth, but those were the thoughts sparked on this morning by those pictures of the swans. And many hours later now, the inspiration comes back up, looking at the pictures, again, and so I finally am writing these ideas that came to me earlier on.

Though sometimes I think the feeling passes and the image I wanted to use to spark my writing no longer seems to have the same effect of making my words and thoughts happily, easily, peacefully flow any more and that is why I don’t just try to save the pictures in my drafts or something. I like things to feel more spontaneous and in the moment and that way if it flows it does and if it doesn’t I will drop it or return later when the same or another thought feels suddenly compelling and triggered. Often while I go through my pictures, one after another image triggers many different angles of insights, but only finally do I come upon one that makes me really want to write about it, and all those other images that gave me ideas help me to focus and to flow and to have more words and concepts with which to build my descriptions. I guess that I’m a very symbolic and visual thinker and these images work that way for me. They also stabilize emotions like a sensory grounding tool for trauma, whenever traumatic feelings are there, as often is the case. And they can feel anti-depressant, protecting me from the many things that drag me into depression and anxiety, because so many of these photos are the opposite of what depresses me and it works a strong magic on me, using the goodness from my own real life to help me remain calm and here, in the now of my own world of beauty and peace and goodness. And yeah, overly wordy, run-on sentence. But I feel like to try to subtract words might muddy my meaning so I leave it even if too many words also makes the meaning hard to follow and grasp. A catch-22, which reminds me of something else, the catch-22 image, that is, reminds me of something else I might like to write about sometime, we’ll see.

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mcparty27 · 7 years ago

Text

The Allegory (continued) Day 2

I just added to what I already had, so if you've read the first bit already just skip like a third of a page to what's new:

James warmed himself over the slowing growing flame; not minding he was crowding his compadre who built the fire. Bill smiled as the flame continued to catch on the kindling and spread to the larger sticks and logs. He shook his head before giving another long, slow breath to further oxygenate the small blaze. "Mack you got your cat back this morning." James called.

Mack was petting his calico cat and smiling, but his eyes slowly scanning the purple twilight horizon. "I know, but what if there are other cats out there that need me? I could save them all! Besides, I like cats. They're soft, they usually don't stink, and it's relaxing when they paw and rub up against you." James and Bill chuckled and shook their heads. Bill finally relaxed at the fire now keeping itself going. "Still, you should bring yours near the fire. She's yours to feed and keep warm; the others will be ok tonight." James drew a slow breath at the heat radiating from the logs, spreading across his body. A pleasant, strange feeling he hadn't felt in some time. Hope.

James yawned and stretched as a new day dawned. It had been a boring weekend. He and Bill had fought off a cough and tried to figure out if Mack was hiding another cat nearby. They had found little paw prints throughout the camp and he had made a few remarks about an Austrailian Mist-a little spotted white breed-having come through their camp. It was vain, they couldn't find the cat, which was their hope anyway, but at least they could know what they were dealing with.

Some time had passed since James had last written anything down; the busyness of the journey would not allow him. It was that busyness that now had him Bill, and Mack standing on a little island in the middle of a vast river with various sized bridges, boats, and ships stretching up and down it. James and Mack looked on as Bill plugged another cord into their quite large controller. The controller, which could have almost been mistaken for a sound board, was covered in key holes, safety switches, and labels designating what was tied to where.

"Alright gents," said Bill, "a few more bridges rigged to blow if we opt to, and one boat. These could be quite a sight at the right time, but hopefully we'll never need them."

"I love fire!" Mack exclaimed. "But why'd you rig that bridge? That bridge leads to my pretty Mist."

"She's not your Mist," James muttered as he kept writing. "that one has almost always been rigged, but we have no intention of ever blowing it."

"Yep, and also I don't know how much fire you'll get with these," offered Bill. "I find it's better to blow the bridge entirely than allow for a slow burn."

Twilight rolled into night and a thick fog crept up the river. The darkness was so thick one could almost choke on it. James sat in his chair under their odd little shelter, a chill rolling goose bumps over his body. Nibbling on the end of his pen as he searched his fractured mind for thoughts he continued to write. Mack tossed in his sleep. The poor fellow was restless, but if they were being honest, the other two were as well. James hadn't slept in a fortnight, Bill slept, but rarely rested, and Mack had become so agitated that even in his sleep it sounded like he wanted to fight or pet something or someone. No, the trio hadn't experienced peace since before the super blue blood moon, and it was wearing on their relationship. James knew this, but it didn't make anything easier. Bumps to the head, chemicals, and most of all stress had drained his mental facilities. He was supposed to be the leader, the rescuer, the model, some might say the hero. He wasn't. Not anymore. He was broken. Stress and fatigue were causing him hallucinations and amnesia. Bill was the only one even remotely stable, but he was caught between James' constant looking ahead and stressing about how to improve, and Mack's complete lack of vision and all-and his overall obsession with destroying things and admiring cats. All three of them hated how their fate had been tied together, each certain the others would get them killed, each certain that the others were the cause of every miserable thing they had to endure. Trying to find joy in any of it seemed impossible. James knew what they should be doing, at least he thought he did, but he had no idea how, and their resources were limited to his once sharp-now dull tongue. So frustrated by their journey and the toll it had taken in the last 10 years that he had mostly yielded the trail to Mack's wondering mind. 'Mack' James shook his head. If he thought he could kill the dull-minded freak he would, and he'd be the more miserable for it, but at least less troubled. There was no real rest, not really. They were driven on by slavers who insisted on being paid periodically. Thankfully the slavers didn't insist on being constantly present, only on being paid at their designated times of the month. If the slavers were not paid, the debt collectors would come and torture them, James most of all-Mack seemed impervious to the molesting and beatings. So they toiled onward, tired and brittle.

#Allegory #mcparty27 #Adventure #Journey #journaling #writerscreed #writers of tumblr #writings #writing #ficiton #or is it?#Life #life is a fight #Life can be hard #i need a break #God is my refuge

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xnameessayexampleslname394 · 4 years ago

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microkumo · 7 years ago

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Hey so here’s my Keith analysis for Season 4. Read under the cut. It’s long af tho.

So I’ve seen a few posts about how Keith leaving Voltron to join the BoM full-time seems to have come out of nowhere. This isn’t true when you think about how Keith functions as a person.

First off let’s take into consideration the following:

1) Keith has self worth issues and terrified of being abandoned. He probably never knew his mother only that she left him when he was very young for reasons he never really had a chance to find out. This left him with just his father in a small house in the middle of no where. This shows he probably never had any friends growing up forcing him to become awkward and socially inept in his later years.

His father is gone. When he went back to his house no one was there he was alone. I’m assuming losing his father was also quite a toll on him when he was literally the only one he had left of his family.

I feel its because of this that he pushed himself so hard at the academy. That even though he was temperamental he was still considered the best pilot of his year. Keith is the type to immerse himself with distractions when depressed and stressed as we’ve seen in multiple cases.

2) He has very strong ties to Shiro. Though we haven’t gotten a lot of background on this we do know Shiro plays a very important role for Keith. While Keith generally has a hard time settling down and staying grounded he has always listened to Shiro and has shown he holds a lot of respect and care towards him. After Keith’s father left the picture Shiro was probably the only one around that made Keith feel needed. I’m guessing that when Shiro went on the moon mission and never returned this heavily affected Keith. This is the third time in his life where an important pillar in his life has been taken away. He was removed from the Garrison for insubordination which is understandable. He lost someone that made his life a little less lonely and when Keith gets stressed he becomes aggressive and snippy.

3) We do not get to see the time skips in action. A couple seasons now they have stated that there have been time skips but as the watcher we don’t really get to see just how much time has passed.

Now onto why his actions in Season 4 were not strange for his character.

Keith adores Shiro and admires him. He never wanted the position of the Black Paladin so when the lion insisted on him being the pilot he feels like it’s a spot he cannot fill and he’s said this multiple times.

He searched vehemently for Shiro to the point of obsession while the other paladins moved on rather quickly. I think this was very uncomfortable for Keith because to him Shiro is irreplaceable and to see how easily you could get shoved aside for someone new is terrifying enough without the abandonment issues. His lion rejecting him must have hurt him pretty bad and then he was being pushed into taking the role of someone he feels could do so much better.

As the series progresses and he’s forced to be a leader when he rather worry about his lost friend he’s still visibly stressed out regardless of how many months have passed. Keith believes that he will disappoint everyone as their leader and so he needs to get Shiro back as quickly as possible not only because he cares about Shiro but because Shiro is better at being a leader than he thinks possible for himself.

This idea is only solidified as he makes countless mistakes throughout his time as the black paladin. Fighting with Lotor when they were still too fresh to function as a team in their new lions was a big blow especially with how easy Lotor made it. Most of his decisions as a leader were often argued against leaving him feeling awkward and without the trust he needs to feel safe.

When they finally do get Shiro back he’s relieved of course and he’s visibly in a better mood but there’s something different between them now. Due to how many months have passed Keith was then used to being the first to voice his ideas but with Shiro back he now has to deal with the awkward tension of having his own decisions brushed aside. People trust Shiro as their leader more than they trust Keith and yet the Black Lion still won’t take Shiro back. Having Shiro constantly argue against Keith’s decisions and scolding him is a lot different from how things were before and Keith is left feeling guilty and awkward regardless of how Shiro attempts to make up for it with his little pep talks here and there.

Keith feels he’s bringing Voltron down with his mistakes and now his awkward situation with Shiro. He, and from how everyone else reacts, feels like Shiro is still a better Black Paladin than he could be but Shiro keeps insisting that it’s no longer his position. Shiro looks saddened even when he smiles and reassures Keith which just makes things worse for him.

So what does Keith do? He feels that if he loses his connection with the other Paladins then the Lions will be forced to adjust. This hurts him a lot but he’s already tried arguing against being the leader before with no results. He begins spending more time with the BoM because for him this is his stress relief. Keith enjoys fighting because it clears his head when he’s stressed while it also serves as a tether to his mother.

This bond only becomes stronger as his ties with Voltron weaken. While it was his intention to push the paladins away he was still unprepared for the backlash and disappointment it would bring. He’s been living with them for how long and yet so easily everyone is willing to give him the cold shoulder. This makes Keith’s reliance on the BoM for distraction even stronger. He’s losing his Voltron family and now all he has left is the BoM and its link to his mother.

When the Black Lion finally accepts Shiro again it’s still not seen as a good occasion. While Keith is relieved he will no longer have to be their leader, he’s also deeply hurt because now he has no position within Voltron. While Lance had voiced his concerns about having no place, now Keith truly felt the sting of being the outsider. Unlike Shiro he cannot call shots from the ship and he has no other way of fighting alongside them so he announces that he will be staying with the BoM.

And the BoM are not emotional individuals. Keith is sinking further into an unhealthy mental state where he’s taught to hold in his emotions and to become a killing machine with little value to his own life when it concerns the greater good. I think even the BoM see that Keith is not entirely stable and I hope to see how they will handle that in the future. Even in this state we see that he still values his allies lives even when odds are not in his favor. He’s lost too many people important to him to give up without trying. And so though he’s an emotional wreck he’s still willing to sacrifice himself to save those that matter to him.

#voltron #voltron s4 #voltron season 4 #voltron spoilers #Keith Kogane

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talonsaga-trash · 7 years ago

Photo

Kain: You Fought, You Lost

Summary: The Night of Fang and Fire took a toll on everyone, and Kain knew what he was signing up for when he stood (not for the order, never for the order, but those were his friend marching into battle). If he could take it all back then he would in a heartbeat, but it’s too late. The damage is done. He can’t go back. (In the same Universe as Out of My Depth, which is somewhere in my blog under the Legion tag) Words: So many. Too many. This was supposed to be a 500 word drabble. What the hell. Disclaimer: I’m not Julie Kagawa or HarlequinTeen or else I would have a nicer laptop and would be able to afford to buy a new scanner. So anything relating to Talon isn’t mine, I don’t profit, it’s very sad. I’m not a medic either. Don’t trust anything I say. I just have a laptop and determination. A/N: So... I kinda empathize with Kain despite him trying to beat up Garret, because if I were in his situation then I would be doing the exact same thing. And what do I do to characters I empathize with? I make them SUFFER. Sorry Kain. This was written entirely in his perspective so there are some less than nice thoughts towards Garret and Ember, but it’s not focused on that, so don’t worry. Mandatory Begging for comments/reviews: Plz help I live for validation.

He woke up to pain and confusion, red-hot pokers in his eyes and his throat stuffed with cotton seeds. Kain took a sharp breath in and flexed his claws— fingers. He was in his human form, lying on his back on the hard ground, the only comfort being a lumpy pillow and blanket pulled up to his shoulders. What had happened? Why wasn’t he in bed? Why couldn’t he see?

“N— Nadine?” He rasped, a thirst making itself known to him at his words. Where was that human? Maybe she had answers as to what happened, why he was on the ground and why his face hurt and he couldn’t see. What was the last thing he remembered?

Cobalt-Riley had called the underground together. Remy had told him about the St. George soldier that was walking in their midst. Some crazy chick had talked about talking to the genocidal asshats and then Cobalt-Riley threw him into a barn. Nadine had reprimanded him and then sent him off to his room, then Cobalt-Riley gathered them, and then… and then…

St. George. Kain had helped St. George, he had fought and it had been terrifying and the smell of blood was overwhelming and the dragons— they weren’t dragons. They couldn’t be dragons— had attacked them all without any mercy, and by the time Cobalt-Riley had called for a retreat a not-dragon had torn into his eyes and there was blood everywhere and he had to wait for hours before Wesley had been able to see him, and he said that—

“Wes!” Kain’s voice rose to a thready scream and he sat up, only making a headache from the pits of hell radiate everywhere and a pain travel up his flank. He couldn’t see. Everything was so dark, he couldn’t see, he knew that it had been bad, but he still strained his eyes for anything to pick up. There was nothing. He couldn’t see anything.

“Wes!” He screamed a bit louder. The noise hurt, moving hurt, but he tried to sit up anyways and strained his voice. “Please—”

“Kain…” There was a groggy voice and Kain snapped towards it. He knew that voice, but not by name. It was a dragon, though. That helped the panic rising in his chest with every heartbeat that passed in darkness. “You need to keep your voice down or else I’ll drop kick you out of this post office.”

“I—I— Where’s Wes? Or another medic? I need to— owww…” Kain dropped back onto the ground and clutched his head, feeling tight bandages around his eyes. Maybe that was all that was causing the darkness. Maybe if he took them off then he’d be able to see again. He needed to find Wes, he could tell him what had happened.

“He was with Sage last time I checked,” The voice said. Then sighed. “You stay quiet, I’ll go get him. But I swear if you wake up Atlas he will crawl over to your bed and punch you. And then I will. Shut up.”

The was a shuffle and creak of floorboards as the girl left. Kain felt over his face again, the bandages covering his eyes and stitches spanning over his cheek from where a dragon had latched on and tore at his face until it felt more blood than skin. They were like vultures, coming down on him and leaving him defenseless to try and fight them off. He had been relieved when a soldier— St. George, they had killed Isaac, they killed his best friend— had shot the thing off of him. He had been more relieved when Cobalt-Riley had told them to fall back and someone had realized that he couldn’t see through all of the blood.

What if he never saw again?

“Kain.” The thick British accent alerted him to Wes’ presence. “Get something to eat, Mason. Something other than Cheez-its. Bloody hell, Kain… you’ve bled through your bandages.”

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t… you didn’t…” His hand trembled and Wes let out a long sigh, slowly getting him upright despite how much worse it made the headache. “You couldn’t… You can’t. That—”

“I explained what I was going to do before I put you under, Kain,” Wes muttered. “I tried to save as much of your right eye as possible, but your left—”

“No.”

“It had to come out, Kain. It had completely ruptured, there wasn’t any saving it.”

“No.”

“You’re right eye might still be functional, I did everything—”

“No!”

His eye had been removed. The darkness wasn’t just from the bandages.

He was blind.

**** **** **** ****

Cobalt-Riley decided to move them back to the Order Chapterhouse, a choice that Kain strongly disagreed with. He didn’t want to go back there. He didn’t want to be anywhere near the soldiers that had hunted him like a dog for three years. But Wes agreed. He said that they had better medical equipment, and that could mean the difference between life and death for Nettle and Sage. And the idea of either of them dying was even worse.

“Kain, we’re leaving now. I want to get you there fast, so you’re on on this trip,” Wes’ voice told him. “I’m going to help you up, okay?” A hand took his own and Wes got him on his feet, which made the headache worsen and a feeling of vertigo nearly cause him to fall over. The only thing that kept him upright was Wes’ hands on his shoulders. He slowly led him outside, telling him when to step down. Kain strained his eyes— eye— to see anything through the bandages, but the light didn’t change.

But it could change. He clung to that, Wes had shined a flashlight in his eye and he could definitely see the difference of light or dark. But at the moment, with someone having to guide his every step and him practically clinging to the guidance, if felt like a bitter condolence.

“You’re in the passenger’s seat,” Wes told him. He heard the car door open and a moment later Wes’ hand was on his back to help him into the car. “The moment we get Sage into a room and set things up I’ll ask the St. George medic if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

Kain let out a snort. “They’re going to help us? What type of backwards world did I step into?” There was a slam of the closing door and for a moment he couldn’t hear Wes, which sent a jolt of fear through him. Wes had been the person to tell him where everything was for the past few days, and losing track of him in an unfamiliar area was more scary than he wanted to admit. But less than five seconds letter the driver’s side door opened and Kain’s chest relaxed.

“A world, Kain, where there are two medics and around eighteen major injuries. Most of whom—” The car rumbled to life and Kain jumped, grabbing for his seatbelt until he made contact. “—Are bloody idiots.”

Kain winced. He couldn’t tell if he was referencing Hamsah trying to shit back into human form with a torn wing, Persephone trying to walk and nearly puncturing her lung in the process, or Kain himself trying to stand and find Sage the previous day before subsequently getting lost.

“Try not to fight any soldiers this time,” He said as they started moving. “These guys aren’t as welcoming as our St. George.”

Kain expected a surge of indignance at the way he spoke, or at least anger towards the soldier and his traitor girlfriend. But he felt nothing besides a bit of pain for bringing it up.

He hadn’t felt this way since Isaac died.

He nodded and rested his cheek on his hand, staring at where he knew the window was. He could imagine the desert passing around them, the sandy brown and cacti and tumbleweed that he had seen on his flight. Maybe if he focused enough on imagining, he’d be able to ignore that he wasn’t actually seeing a thing.

**** **** **** ****

He was sharing a room with and Jasper, Persephone, and Hamsah. He knew that it was because of wound intensity so Wes and Riley would be closer to the people who were less stable, but it still felt awkward and he couldn’t help but wish that he was in a room with Mason or Sage. Of course, Sage was unconscious, ribcage and spine broken apart, in the high risk room with Nettle. Mason was in the least risk room.

During the first night, Kain continued to strain his eyes to see anything. He was too afraid to move from his cot in case he got lost in the dark so close to St. George, but staying still felt even worse. In the end he stood and stumbled across the room, bracing his hands against the cold wall and shuffling until he found the door. He just needed to get out of the room. No further. He wouldn’t get lost if he was just outside his room.

The air was cool on the exposed part of his face and provided some relief for the bandages around his head. He closed the door and sank to the ground, hugging his knees to his chest. He hated the human body he was confined to, cold and weak and damaged, but if he shifted… that would be bad. For numerous reasons. He was in a St. George chapterhouse. He’d destroy a perfectly comfortable hoodie. He’d tear his stitches and just cause more damage to his face.

He’d still be blind.

Kain growled at himself and rubbed at the bandages, a movement that quickly turned to scratching and then tearing. They came off and the desert air hit him, cool and dry around his irritated eyes.

It was still so dark.

Kain rubbed at his eyelid, feeling something warm and damp come off his fingers. Wes had only taken his bandages off once to flush out his eyes and check for infection, but then he had been dousing them with water so he couldn’t have seen, even if he had still had his eyes. But now there was no denying it. He couldn’t see. He’d never he able to see again.

Kain started to shake, tremors travelling from his hands to his chest until he was a shaking ball curled against the door. He was blind. There was nothing he could do about it. And suddenly the hallway was an endless labyrinth that he couldn’t navigate and the world felt too large to survive in. He didn’t even know if he could make it back to his cot by himself.

“Kain?” A voice to his right made Kain’s head shoot up. “Bloody hell, Kain…” He heard a shuffle and then Wes’ feet walking towards him. Kain curled up further and tried to stop the tremors wracking his body. “Come on. I have a first aid kit in Riley’s room, we can patch this up.”

“Fuck off, Higgins,” Kain tried to growl. It came out a whimper. He heard Wes sit down next to him and considered hitting him until he realized that then he’d be even more alone. Wes had been doing his best to keep them all grounded. But he was the one that took his eye. But there hadn’t been any saving it. His thoughts were just making him shake harder until his teeth were chattering from the movement.

“Do you need me to get Riley?” Wes asked softly. Kain shook his head. “Alright. Need me to leave?”

At that Kain grabbed for Wes’ arm. He couldn’t be left alone, the hallway was too big and he was too small and everything hurt and he needed someone to make the world seem a little more manageable. It didn’t matter if it was Mason or Wes or Nadine or even that crazy dragonell who dragged them all into this. He couldn’t be alone.

Wes sighed beside him and Kain clenched his fists, fearing for a moment that he’d be left alone. A tentative hand landed on his shoulder, grounding him where he sat. And the world felt smaller, somehow.

“Before you go back to bed I need to redo your bandages,” He whispered. Kain nodded and bit his lip to stop the chattering.

“I— I rubbed at my eyes. I know I’m not supposed to,” He whispered.

“Bloody twat.”

Kain shivered and drew his legs closer to his chest. And Wes snorted. A second later he felt either a jacket or a blanket being thrown over his shoulders. It didn’t help much, but it was something to clench in his hands. There was a liquid dripping down his face and he tried to wipe it away before Wes grabbed his wrist. Kain growled.

“The more you touch your face the more I’m going to have to watch out for infection. Don’t do that,” He said. Kain pulled his wrist out of the his grasp and Wes sighed again. “Look, Kain. I’ve never been good with emotions, it’s not my job. But obviously… you need someone who is. And I can try my best if you need me to.”

Kain shook his head, lying blatantly. But Wes didn’t press him to speak or leave. He just sat next to him, offering a silent promise that he wasn’t completely alone. And before he could stop it, his mouth opened up and started to talk on its own accord.

“It’s so dark,” He whispered. “I can’t stand the thought of living like this forever, I felt like if I took the bandages off, then it would be okay again, that I’d be able to see, and— and—” He shuddered. “I can’t.”

There was silence from Wes, whose hand had returned to his shoulder and was rubbing it softly.

“I am sorry,” He finally said. “We— Riley and I should not have let you fight. But we did, and now you’re the one that has to pay the price.” He said. “But you’re strong, Kain. You’ve lived through… a lot. Enough that this isn’t going to trip you up forever.”

“You suck at this.”

“Well, it’s not my job,” Wes said. “But my point is that you can adjust. And you will… and Riley and I will be there to help while you’re at it.” Kain nodded. It didn’t help much. He couldn’t see, he wasn’t going to get better, and that fact still weighed heavily in his mind. But Wes was right. He would adjust. He always did, and this time he had people to help him.

It wasn’t much, but it was something. And he would take anything.

“I need to fix up your eyes before they get infected. You need help up?” He asked. Kain stood and leaned against the wall until the swimming in his head left him and let Wes take his forearm, leading him to a room that was a light grey rather than black. He tried to focus to see any shadows, a vague shape of the room, but there was nothing beyond the solid color.

Wes stayed right beside him the entire time, talking in a low voice. The sound told Kain exactly where he was.

It was something.

#The Talon Saga #The Talon Series #Julie Kagawa #Wesley Higgins #Kain #Inferno placeholder tag #Talon-Trash #sorry guys #I know that I shouldn't feel empathy for Kain #but I do #so I make him suffer #at least Wes is trying tho #right?

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asktheboywholived · 7 years ago

Note

Hi TT :), I just went on your marauders threads masterpost and none of the links worked. Honestly it might be my computer (I have a super nasty virus atm) but then it might not be. To give you an idea, every time i scroll over the links the typing cursor comes up (y'know the one with the lines that highlights stuff) I've refreshed the page quite a few times and nothing seems to be working. I will carry on refreshing and see if it will work, but for now I just thought you ought to know :)

(( OOC: Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on there. :P I’ll try and get that fixed… but in the meantime… let’s see if this works:

MARAUDERS THREAD MASTERPOST:

THE MARAUDERS:

SCHOOL YEARS:

Yer A Witch Lily!

After receiving her letter from Hogwarts, Lily wants to tell Petunia, however the conversation quickly takes a turn for the worst.

Love At First Sight

Lily Evans is the most perfect girl James has ever seen! Maybe if he pulls some smooth moves, she’ll fall for him… and maybe not.

Love At First Sight (Baby Marauder Version)

Just A Little Crushed

Frank and Alice have a chat, and it goes south quickly.

Unwanted Attention

Alice is cornered by a persistent Gryffindor who can’t seem to take a hint… or a blatant NO.

Wanted Attention

Frank has a question for Alice… and he’s beyond nervous to ask it.

Lily’s Birthday

Severus wants this birthday to be special. Lily’s worth the effort.

Shower Encounter Part 1

The Prefects bathroom is the nicest bathroom in the school, so of course Lily wants to use it… but it looks like James Potter forgot to lock to the door.

Knock it off!

James just doesn’t know when to quite being obnoxious… but Lily is more than willing to help.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short:

Sirius finds Remus fretting over a new scar after the full moon.

Part 1

Part 2

Shower Encounter Part 2

Lily is about to get some sweet, sweet revenge.

Au-Naturel

Sirius has some female admirers, and they have a bad habit of “finding” his clothes and wearing them… but what happens when he has no clothes left?

Drunk Antics

Lily may have celebrated a little too hard after Gryffindor’s latest quidditch victory.

The Rat

Peter seems very comfortable in his rat form… until Mrs. Norris shows up.

Keep Away

James and Severus were rivals from the moment they set eyes on each other, but they both have a common interest… and that scares James.

Question for Evans

James tries to pull the moves on Lily, but her reaction is less than favorable.

Snape’s Worst Memory

Severus says something unforgivable… something he’ll forever regret.

Runaway:

Sirius’s home-life has taken a turn for the worst… and the only place he can go is his sanctuary… the Potter’s.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Sugar Rush

After getting his hands on some cupcakes… Sirius is a little hyper.

We Will Rock You

The marauders are only mild sports fans…… mild.

Bromance

James and Sirius are the bestest of bros.

Meet the Blacks

Andromeda is engaged to a muggleborn, and the only member of the Black family she trusts enough to tell is Sirius.

The Yule Ball

The night didn’t turning out how Lily had envisioned, but James has a knack of showing up when she’s feeling down.

Sass Off

Dorcus and Marlene are dating… but Dorcas can’t help but feel that maybe Marlene’s feelings still reside with her old crush.

Blood Moon

Sirius, fed up with Severus, has told him about the Whomping Willow… during a full moon. James may be the only one who can save him.

You Fool Of A Black!

After rescuing Snape, James confronts Sirius about his dangerous little “prank”.

The Werewolf In The Shack

After Sirius tells Snape about the whomping willow and everything goes to hell… Remus starts to remember what happened.

The Shunned:

Sirius made a big, big mistake, and now he’s paying for it.

Part 1

Part 2

Merry Christmas Werewolf McWerewolf:

There’s a full moon on Christmas, and the Marauders want to spend it with Remus… but after Remus uses every form of persuasion he can think of, begging his friends to enjoy Christmas with their families, they begrudgingly agree to head home for the holidays.

However, as Sirius gets ready for the Potter’s Christmas party, he can’t stop thinking about Remus.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Remus Doesn’t Know Shit About Quidditch:

Looks like something is going on between Remus and Sirius… and Lily is going to get to the bottom of it.

Part 1

Part 2

Sectumsempra

Severus hasn’t forgiven James for saving him… and he’s been working on a little something… something just for Potter.

Joining The Order 1

The war is starting to hit home, and Frank wants to make a difference.

Drunk Antics Part 2

When the boys get ahold of some “fire whiskey”… things get a little crazy.

Sore Loser

James just cost Gryffindor the match, so, of course… he’s going to bitch about it.

The Monster Under the Bed

Remus has an unexpected, and very unwelcome, late-night visitor.

Can’t Sleep

Remus and Sirius are no strangers to nightmares… and after a particularly frightening one, Remus can’t get back to sleep.

You Wish

Like father like son.

She Likes Me… She Likes Me Not

Lily has a confession to make… a confession that Severus never wanted to hear.

Smitten

James and Lily have gradually become friends… but James still can’t help but want more.

Just Friends:

James Potter has been chasing Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams, for 7 years. However, after a heart-to-heart with Sirius, James realizes that Lily may never return his affections, no matter how much he likes her. Maybe… it’s time to move on.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Wallflower 1

The Yule Ball has come again, and Lily has finally said yes to going with James… there’s just one problem… James is sick.

Wallflower 2

The Yule Ball has come again, and Remus isn’t attending… or at least, that’s what Sirius thought.

A Visit With Evans

James has never been in a real, muggle house… and even better, it’s Lily-Freakin-Evan’s house… this day could not get any better!

The Talk:

James and Lily are having some fun at Lily’s place… but what happens when the parents come home early?

Part 1

Part 2

Dirty Little Secret

Remus has always been ashamed of his scars, and done his best to hide them… but he can’t hide them from everyone.

The Black Plague:

Sirius doesn’t get sick very often… but when he does…

Extra

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Mother Dearest:

After receiving unexpected and devastating news, James and Sirius must learn how to accept their grief.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Career Counseling:

The school year is coming to an end, and it’s time for the marauders to start thinking about their futures… but with a war looming, what kind of future can they hope for?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Check Me Out

Now that Lily sees James as more than a friend… she can’t help but notice other things too… particularly how good James Potter looks in that shirt.

Freaky Friday (NSFW):

After an terrible potion mix-up, Remus is going to have to survive a few days walking around in Sirius Black’s body…

Alright… he can handle this.

What he can’t handle is the fact that Sirius is now in his body… and embarrassing Remus seems to be his top priority.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Mirror, Mirror (Extra):

Part 1: Remus

Part 2: Sirius

FIRST WIZARDING WAR:

Put A Ring On It:

James is sweaty and nervous… Why? Because he’s about to propose to the girl of his dreams.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Joining The Order 2

Now that Frank is part of the Order, it’s his job to welcome new recruits… but he certainly wasn’t expecting to greet THESE recruits.

Four-Eyes

Desperate times call for… a really terrible good sense of humor.

Surprise, It’s A Baby!

Lily is pregnant… and… WHO IS THE FATHER!?

Surprise, It’s Another Baby!

Alice has a little secret.

The Hunted:

Sirius and Remus find themselves in a trap… and Remus isn’t prepared to face the person who set that trap… his very own monster under the bed.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Cry Wolf

After being released, Fenrir returns to the Den to find Bellatrix waiting for him… Looks like there’s no better time than the present to put his plans into action. Unfortunately, those plans revolve entirely around Remus Lupin.

Seed of Doubt

Sirius receives an unexpected and unwanted visit from his less-than-stable cousin, and what she has to say may lead to some budding doubts concerning Remus Lupin and his loyalties.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 1

The fear of war is growing… and now it’s starting to seep into Sirius’s dreams.

Nothing To Lose… Everything To Lose…

The war is taking its toll, and with mortality at the front of everyone’s minds, Sirius can’t hold back anymore.

The Downward Slope

Remus crashes at the Potter’s for the night, but he didn’t know Sirius was going to be there as well. Things have… changed… since the last time they met.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 2

Sirius has been cold and distant. Now he’s made his way into Remus’s dreams.

Power Play:

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 1

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Marlene is gone, and someone has to tell Dorcas.

What Do You Want?

The war is destroying everything… including Sirius’s faith in Remus. But his feelings are still conflicted… and when Remus confronts him, which path will Sirius choose?

The Kids Are Alright Part 1

With babies on the way, Frank and James are feeling a new weight on their shoulders. This war has taken on a whole new meaning.

Having Second Thoughts:

The Marauders are in the middle of a war, and Lily is about to have a child. What were they thinking!?

Part 1

Part 2

Bed Time For Harry

James and Lily haven’t slept in what feels like weeks. Having a baby is exhausting… but Harry just went to sleep. Maybe now they can get some shut eye.

Foreplay

Harry and Sirius are asleep, so it’s time for the adults to play. But… James and Lily seem to have a hard time being “sexy”.

Super Moon:

Being a double agent is tearing Remus apart, and when he gets trapped with Fenrir during a full moon, things take a turn for the worst.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Thrice Defied:

The war is taking its toll on the marauders, and James and Lily narrowly escape Voldemort’s clutches for the third time.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Liar, Liar:

Remus’s life has spiraled out of control, and now the only thing he can do is throw himself back into the war… but spying for the Order is a dangerous job, and Fenrir knows something that Remus doesn’t know.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Little One:

Remus has been caught in Fenrir’s twisted web since he was a child… But Fenrir has finally become bored of his little pet, and Remus is about to come face-to-face with a true monster.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Dark Times Series:

James and Lily are in a deadly game of hide and seek, and the seeker just found them.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

POST DEATH:

It’s Too Late To Apologize

Severus finds the Potter’s home in ruins. Lily is gone… and she’s never coming back.

The Man Who Loses Everything:

Remus Lupin’s world has come crashing down around him. Everything has been taken away from him… everything except…

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Just When You Thought It Was Over

Frank and Alice have been captured, and Bellatrix is out for blood… or worse.

The Cursed

Frank and Alice will never be the same.

The Nightmare

Lily was the love of his life, and Severus will never see her again, except in his dreams. But this isn’t a dream… this is a nightmare.

The Depths of Hell

There is an island, where the inhabitants have been forgotten, left to a fate worse than death…

HARRY POTTER ERA:

A New Era

Remus has been trapped in Hell since the fall of his closest friends, the people he loved… and now, after years of struggle, he’s on his way back to Hogwarts.

Awkward Reunion

The Order has a new member… and Remus hasn’t seen her in years.

Potty Humor

Tonks really shouldn’t have eaten that…

Never Be The Same:

After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

The Veil:

What happens to the people we leave behind?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

King’s Cross

What lies on the other side of the veil?

You Could Be Happy:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” A story about a werewolf, a metamorphmagus, and finding happiness.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Metamorphmagus

Tonks has a little surprise for Remus.

Turntable

Tonks has spent the night with Remus for the first time… and now she has the house all to herself… so obviously a bit of “exploring” is in order.

Fatherhood

Remus is now a father… and it feels strangely familiar.

The Kids Are Alright Part 2

With the war hitting closer to home, Neville pays what may be his final visit to his father.

I Open At The Close

The Marauder’s final moments.

JILY AU’S:

James Deer

Lily can’t believe it… James Potter is an animagus?

Apologies

James thinks it might be time to make up for being an ass.

Truth or Dare (Jily)

Lily and James are stuck at Hogwarts for Christmas… but they find a fun way to pass the time.

Hormones

Lily can’t stop crying… and James is a flustered mess.

The Art Of Seduction

James pulls out his best moves… which are kind of like everyone else’s worst.

REMADORA AU’S:

What’s in My (Pockets)?

Tonks likes jackets… and stealing other people’s jackets… well, one person in particular.

The Whole Package

Remus has it.

Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

These jokes never get old.

Memories

A picture is worth a thousand words… but pictures can’t replace what Teddy lost.

Resurrection

Teddy decides to take a walk in the forbidden forest after a restless night… and he finds something on on the ground, an item long forgotten…

FENTRIX AU’S:

Power Play (CONTINUATION):

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

And They Called It… Puppy Lust

Fenrir and Bellatrix have an… interesting relationship.

WOLFSTAR AU’S:

MODERN AU’S:

Snap Chat

Remus receives a bizarre snap from a total stranger… turns out that stranger has a pretty face framed by some nice, black hair. He might be okay with this.

BYOB (NSFW):

Remus is working as a bartender at a Gay Club. He’s witnessed a lot of… interesting stuff… But nothing has come close to Sirius Black.

Part 1 (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Bloopers (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

God Save The Queen:

Sirius has been acting strange lately… he keeps taking off at night, and Remus could have sworn he was wearing makeup… Sirius Black is hiding something.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

HP UNIVERSE AU’S:

Truth or Dare (Wolfstar)

Sirius gets wrapped up in a game of Truth or Dare… and ends up biting off more than he can chew.

The Morning After (A continuation of “Can’t Sleep”)

Sirius has a bad habit of unconsciously stripping when it gets too hot at night… and apparently Remus does too. This may become a problem if they keep sharing each other’s beds after nightmares wake them up.

The Morning After The Morning After

Remus is starting to have a hard time falling asleep… weird things seem to happen when he falls asleep in Sirius’s bed.

The Morning After The Morning After… The Morning

It’s time for Remus to get even… maybe.

Distraction

Remus is having a hard time paying attention in class with Sirius sitting across from him.

Amortentia

Things just got a little awkward in Potions class.

Fetch:

Sirius can be such a brat… but so can Remus, especially when chocolate is involved.

Part 1

Part 2

DYAC!

Damn you auto correct…

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 1

James recalls walking in on a not-so-pleasant scene.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 2

Remus and Sirius are having a moment… but they forgot to lock the door.

Midnight Meetings

It’s getting harder to have some alone time in the dorm… so the boys take their shenanigans to McGonagall’s classroom. Bad move.

Long Hair Don’t Care

Remus grows his hair out, and Sirius can’t handle it.

What Doesn’t Kill You, Leaves A Scar:

Remus has always found his scars ugly… but Sirius is determined to show him otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If You Wannit Come n’ Get It:

Sirius stole Remus’s hat… and Remus is trying to get it back… creatively.

Part 1

Part 2

Freudian Slip

Uh………… Whoops!

That Awkward Moment When…

You end up accidentally comparing dick sizes with your best mate.

Never Give a Werewolf Alcohol

James is going to be a father! Sirius and Remus have stayed up to celebrate… but Remus has had one to many drinks, and Sirius is enjoying his drunken companion so much… that he might just let something slip.

Plastered

After getting very a little tipsy, Sirius receives an unexpected… and very unwelcome… visitor.

Bellybutton Ring (NSFW):

Sirius has had a little too much to drink… As a result, he may be showing off more than Remus is comfortable with.

Part 1

Part 2

Polaroid (NSFW)

Sirius just got a new camera, and Remus has become an unwitting model.

Sleepy Pups

Sirius can’t help it… he just loves to cuddle.

Candy Cane (NSFW)

It’s Christmas and Sirius is enjoying his new candy cane a little too much. That insufferable git.

Baby It’s Cold Outside:

Remus is being a grinch, so Sirius is going to get him into the Christmas Spirit… and maybe get a little sing-a-long out of him as well.

VIDEO

BLOOPERS

Up or Down? (NSFW)

Sirius revels in the fact that he can make Remus flustered… using nothing more than his hair.

Don’t Play With Fire (NSFW):

Remus always becomes more aggressive as the full moon draws closer… He has always struggled to control it. But what happens when Sirius decides to threaten that control?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Extra

Never Be The Same (Alternative Ending):

Part 1

Part 2

Moving On 1

Remus has found someone who makes him happier than he’s ever been… someone who makes him feel safe.

Moving On 2

Sirius has been locked in a cell for 12 years… and now that he’s out maybe things can pick up where they left off… or, maybe, nothing will ever be the same.

NSFW Wolfstar

Exactly what it sounds like.

DARK SIRIUS AU’s:

After being sorted into Slytherin, Sirius Black’s life takes a complete turn. He never befriends the marauders (in fact, he becomes James Potter’s greatest rival), and he continues to grow up in an abusive home environment, with nowhere to run. Where will this path lead him?

Cornered Animal

A greasy little bird told Sirius a monstrous secret about Remus Lupin… So of course… he’s going to use this information to his advantage.

Betrothal

Sirius and Andromeda used to be close… but with years of abuse and no where to run, Sirius has become a different person. Can Andromeda get through to him, or will he continue down his self-destructive path?

Brotherly Love

Sirius has been through a lot with Regulus. He’s the only one in their crazy family that he can bring himself to care for… but caring just leads to hurt.

It’s A Trap!

Remus is sent on an Order mission to an abandoned mansion… when he arrives, he quickly realizes he’s not the only one there.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

TUMBLR PROM SERIES:

Ginny Weasley

James Potter

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Frank Longbottom

Part 1 (James and Sirius)

Part 2 (Sirius and Remus)

Part 3 (Sirius, Frank and Alice)

PROGRESSION SERIES:

Progression Of Fralice

Progression Of Jily

Progression Of Wolfstar

#ooc #Anonymous #masterpost

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