#told myself I’d go to bed at a normal time but it’s 2:11 am

[the-raging-tempest]

💎💎💎for agria and zrise maybe?

For a brief moment you see a ghost of a smile on Zrise’s face, before he catches himself and he rolls his eyes, “Spitfire. There’s a reason I call her that.” He sighs displeased to be answering, “She’s hard to describe. Both charming and incredibly annoying. It sounds contradictory but it’s not.” Ending the sentence flat and matter of factly. Almost in defiance of the question.

He waits a beat before continuing glancing off to the left. Attempting to sound as indifferent as possible, “We have some things in common. I guess...” He covers the beginning of a laugh with a cough, “She’s irritatingly stubborn.”

Zrise fidgets scratching the back of of his head. As if admitting this part hurts his pride, “If there’s anyone who can both drive me completely insane and challenge me to do better… it’d be Agria.”

[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - none

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 19

Matt and I often talked of having children, but we certainly weren’t planning on having them right away. Then one day we were at the ranch. It was early afternoon and Matt was still asleep. I lay in bed and felt a strange sensation in my stomach, a sensation I’d never felt before. I lay staring at the ceiling. No—it couldn’t be. Again, the same feeling. I slid out of bed. I’ll call Patsy, I thought. She’d know. I went to the phone in the next room.

“Patsy, when you found out you were pregnant, did you feel strange?”

“Strange like what?”

“You know. I mean, what did you feel?”

“Well, I missed my period.”

“But didn’t you feel something in your body, something strange?”

“I really don’t remember, y/n. Why?”

“Because I think I’m pregnant. I know I am. I’ve never felt this before.”

“Maybe it’s nerves.”

“No—I just have a funny feeling. I’ll talk to you later.”

I didn’t tell Matt right away: I couldn’t. But he saw that I was quiet and preoccupied.

If I were pregnant, I knew that our plans to travel would have to be postponed. I wouldn’t be able to head off to some exotic locale and leave my child with nurses and maids. For the first year, I truly wanted to be alone with Matt, without any responsibilities or obligations.

For a few days I was angry with Matt. Before the wedding I asked him if I should start taking birth-control pills, but he had been adamantly against it.

“They’re not good for you. I really don’t want you taking them. They’re not perfected yet, Baby. There’s all kinds of side effects.”

A week passed before I told Matt my suspicions. I expected him to react with the same mixed emotions I’d felt, but he was ecstatic. He made arrangements for me to see a doctor right away, accompanied me to the doctor’s office, and sat anxiously in the waiting room while I was examined.

When I came out I put my arms around him and said, “Guess what?”

“What? What?” He was barely able to contain himself.

“You’re going to be a dad.”

He couldn’t believe it and immediately wanted to tell everyone. Just then his father, who had driven over with us, came into the room. Matt grabbed him.

“Dad, you won’t believe this. y/nn’s gonna have a baby. You’re gonna be a grandad.”

“Good Lord Almighty,” James said, stunned. “You’re kiddin’ me.”

“No, Dad. We’re telling you the truth.” Then Matt teased him, saying, “You’re going to be a gray-headed granddaddy.”

I loved seeing Matt happy, but I was still uncertain about how my unexpected pregnancy would affect our marriage. This was supposed to have been our time alone. I wanted to be beautiful for him; instead, my debut as Matt’s bride was going to be spoiled by a fat stomach, puffy face, and swollen feet.

As far as I was concerned, the less people mentioned about my looking pregnant, the better. I intended to prove that a pregnant woman did not have to get fat. I wanted to refute Matt’s claim that “women use the excuse of their pregnancy to let themselves go.” Although the doctor said that a twenty five-pound gain would be fine, I immediately dropped from my normal one hundred ten pounds to one hundred. During the next four months, I regained just five pounds, and only nine more by the time of delivery. Eating one meal a day and snacking on apples and hardboiled eggs, I prided myself on never needing to buy a maternity outfit. My doctor advised that in addition to taking multiple vitamins I should consume plenty of dairy products. Being vain, I amended my doctor’s instructions and lessened my intake of dairy products. I did not want to gain weight and get stretch marks. As a further precaution I resolved to slather myself with cocoa butter for the next eight months.

A few days after I learned I was pregnant, we left Boston for L.A., where Matt was to begin preproduction on a new film, Speedway. It was to be the last drive in our customized bus before it was sold. During the trip, Matt and the guys had a ball, punching each other and playing practical jokes. I played photographer, clicking away at everyone. But when I kept smiling and laughing I still felt very ambivalent about my pregnancy. I wanted a baby, just not so soon.

Matt was extremely sensitive to my moods. He missed his little girl’s “twinkling eyes,” her “bright, smiling face.” Finally, in Flagstaff, Arizona, at a small roadside inn, he sat me down and said, “What do you want to do, Little One?”

I broke down and answered, “I don’t know. What can I do?”

“What do you think?” he said. “I’ll back you up whatever you want to do.”

Instantly I knew what he was talking about. He was leaving the decision up to me. “It’s our baby,” I said, sobbing. “I could never live with myself, neither could you.”

There were no words, only his smile of approval; he held me tightly in his arms as I cried. The two of us, bound by love, accepted our new little creation wholeheartedly.

When I first felt my baby move I suddenly understood the full joy of carrying our child. My smile returned when Matt delicately placed his hand on my slightly swollen stomach and said, “How can such a little person carry another little person?” The pregnancy was bringing us closer. He would call me from the studio every day, just to say hello and make sure I was fine. It was because of the baby that we decided to buy our first home in Los Angeles instead of leasing as we’d done in the past. While he was filming I searched the Beverly Hills-Bel Air area for a place that would suit us.

Later that fall, when we were in Arizona for location filming on “Stay Away, Joe”, I saw an advertisement in Variety for a house that sounded perfect: a beautiful home in Trousdale Estates, completely furnished, three bedrooms, a guest cottage, pool, and good security.

I flew back to L.A. The house was owned by a prominent landowner who was recently divorced. With a built-in bar, antique furnishings, and collectors’ art, it was a far cry from Rocca Place, where each room was decorated to each employee’s specification—a different carpet, a different color, a different style in each room. Unfortunately, I’d tried to satisfy everyone’s taste, and architectural indigestion was the result. This time I would be able to live with everything the way I liked.

As soon as Matt returned from Arizona we moved into our new home and began preparing a room for our baby. All I could think about was how happy I was, how wonderful life was.

Naturally, I got a lot of advice about what I should and shouldn’t do while I was pregnant. Steeped in her Southern superstitions, Grandma was especially solicitous, telling me I couldn’t brush my hair over my head or else I would wrap the umbilical cord around the baby. She also said I shouldn’t stand on my feet too long or my legs would swell and I wouldn’t be able to walk again. She was as concerned as any doting mother and some of my activities gave her reason to worry. I still kept up with my ballet, rode my motorcycle and my horse Domino, right up until the eighth month of pregnancy. Matt thought I was absolutely incredible to keep up with him in every way. That made me happy. I was pleasing him and still by his side every day.

Then I began hearing rumors about Matt and Madison Beer, the same rumors that I had read about in Germany: that she had a passionate crush on him, that they were having an affair. I was extremely sensitive and quick to cry. Matt assured me that I was just being oversensitive because of my condition. I agreed. Six months into my pregnancy Madison called and said she’d like to give me a baby shower. I didn’t know her that well and thought it a little strange that she was so accommodating. But Matt assured me that she was very nice and that I should get to know her. It was agreed that I would go to the shower under one condition, which Colonel suggested: All the pictures that were taken that day were to be handed over to me. That way, there’d be no shots popping up in the national movie magazines. It turned out quite nicely. Madison was very friendly and very supportive. I found that I liked her and I decided to ignore the rumors.

Life takes such surprising turns. Just when you’re getting confident, along comes the unexpected. I was upstairs at Graceland when Matt called me to his office, the one adjoining my dressing room. “y/nn, I have to have time to think. Things just aren’t going right. It’ll be good for the two of us to take a little time off, like a trial separation. Be apart from one another for a while.”

I wanted to die. I was seven months along and could not believe what I was hearing. It had to be a joke. “What are you saying? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, Baby. You don’t understand. It’s not you. It’s just that I’m going through some things. I think it’d be better if we took a little break.”

I looked at him in silence, feeling a new strength. If he excluded me at this time, then he didn’t deserve me at all. I stood up and said, “You’ve got it. Just tell me when to leave.” I went into my dressing room and closed the door.

I was numb. This was not the man I knew. I instinctively withdrew, my affection numbed, my thoughts suspicious, my heart aching.

I don’t think Matt really intended to leave me. It wasn’t his style. I later realized he too had questions about how a baby would affect his life. Would his public accept him as a father? He wasn’t even sure if his fans had adapted to his becoming a husband. How loyal would they be?

Within a short time Matt’s sensitive nature brought him back to his senses. Two days had passed. The idea of a trial separation was never mentioned again. We both acted as if nothing had been said. It was at times like this that I wished Matt and I had the ability to truly communicate with each other, to confront our insecurities, fears, and frustrations instead of pretending these feelings weren’t there. We probably would have been surprised at how much understanding we both really had. I could not escape the impact his words had on me, leaving me with a sense of doubt.

As my pregnancy progressed, we still played hard. I wanted to be included in everything that everyone else did. That Christmas we went to the ranch and rode horses, had snowball fights and went on hayrides. Matt would sit up front in the wagon and call out to me, “How you doing, y/nn? That’s my girl. How’s she doing back there?”

I’d call back, “She’s doing pretty good. I’m okay.”

If we’d go horseback riding, he’d always ask me, “Are you sure you can do this? Did the doctor say you could?”

“Yes,” I’d answer. “I can do it.”

I was determined not to ask for special treatment.

It was only in the last month or so that I slowed down at all. Instead of sitting through two or three films a night, Matt would take me home after just one.

He arranged his schedule so that he could be home with me at Graceland during the final month. To be absolutely prepared for the big day, we even performed practice drills for the trip to Baptist Memorial Hospital. As my time drew near, Matt became more and more nervous.

On February 1, 1968, I awoke about eight o’clock and found the bed beneath me soaking wet. Frightened, I called my mother in New Jersey and she suggested I ring the doctor immediately. He told me to head straight for the hospital. I gently woke Matt up and told him the big day had arrived. Matt groggily asked me if I was sure. When I said yes, he called James and told him to notify everyone, then yelled downstairs, “She’s ready! y/nn is going to have the baby!”

Ignoring his frenzy, I disappeared calmly into the bathroom and applied my ever-so-black mascara and teased my ever-so-black hair. Later at the hospital I requested special permission to keep on my double set of lashes.

Downstairs there was pandemonium. As planned, the decoy cars raced off first, Steven and Nate frantically waving for the fans to follow them. Then we took off, but despite the rehearsals we headed straight for the wrong hospital. We had changed hospitals, but obviously Jerry, who was driving, hadn’t been informed. Charlie Hodge saved the day, convincing Jerry it was Baptist Memorial, not Methodist. Luckily we arrived in time.

Our daughter, Charlotte Grace, was born at 5:01 that afternoon. The nurse brought her into my room and I cradled her in my arms. I couldn’t believe she was mine, that I had borne this child. She was so tiny, so beautiful. Matt came into the room and kissed me, thrilled that we had a perfectly normal, healthy baby. He was already in love with her. He watched me holding her and his eyes misted with happiness. Then he took us both in his arms and held us.

“Baby,” he whispered, “We have a little baby girl.”

“I know,” I whispered back.

I asked if he wanted to hold her. He looked petrified at first, but then he started to touch her. He played with her hands, her feet. He was in awe, saying, “I can’t believe that I made part of this beautiful child.” Matt knew that I had wanted the baby to have dark hair like his, and Charlotte had been born with lots of silky black hair. “She’s so perfect,” he said, “even the color of her hair is right.”

We stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, caressing our infant and each other, a young couple sharing the first pleasures of parenthood.

The man in my hospital room that day was the man I loved, and will always love. He didn’t have to try to be strong and decisive or sexy, he wasn’t afraid to show his warmth or vulnerability. He didn’t have to act the part of Matt Sturniolo, superstar. He was just a man, my husband.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd. This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - this is the cutest chapter ill write i swear its so so cute🎀

[brokenbones-singsongs]

Another instance of bored out of my mind at work

1. What have you eaten today?

A banana

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

Phil. I guess so. Just told him goodbye before work.

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black and white checkered vans

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Myself

5. What is your favorite scent?

Vetiver

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Fall. Everything is crispy and gold and orange and it’s spooky season

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

Both

8. What color are your nails?

Just natural for noq

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

A freckle

10. What is something you find romantic?

A lot of things. Mostly someone keeping track of all of the little things. How you take your coffee, what food you like from certain restaurants, etc.

11. Are you happy?

I am

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

A lot of things in both departments.

13. Dogs or Cats?

Dogs

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

Between a museum and a library

15. What is your style?

Whatever’s comfy. I wear a lot of simple flowy things. Leggings and jean jackets, cardigans, etc.

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? I’d still be in my bed asleep.

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

Engaged.

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

He’s patient with me, calm, levelheaded, very smart, takes care of himself, a wonderful dad, he’s attentive, he loves me…

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I wouldn’t replace her. I don’t think anyone could. But I would still absolutely love to be friends with Emma stone

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

A laundry list of things. The biggest one is thinking I’ll ever get any closure from keegan.

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

We didn’t.

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

I quit my job.

23. Were you ever in a school play?

A few! I loved every single one of them.

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

There’s none that really accurately portray this mess. I really resonated with perks of being a wallflower when it came out though.

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I want to own my own coffee shop. I don’t because it’s expensive.

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I think I actually have everyone I could ever want to share anything with in my life now.

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

The catty need to tear each other down and insult things we can’t help about ourselves.

The few of us who bow down to the patriarchy and think there is no need for equality and women’s rights.

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Their inability to understand that No is a full and complete sentence

They think only with their dicks

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

I found a place full of cute ass clothes that actually fit normal sized women.

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

All of the hard decisions I’ve made that have hurt others even if I was doing the best I could with what I had.

31. How long was your longest relationship?

Four years.

32. Have you ever been in love?

More than once

33. Are you currently in love?

I am

34. Why did your last relationship end?

Lmao where to begin…

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

Earrings I think I bought myself and an engagement ring from my fiancé via Etsy.

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

Yesterday over a TikTok

37. Name someone pretty.

My best friend 🥰

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

I didn’t.

39. Do you get jealous easily?

I don’t like to think so but….

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

I have a sneaky suspicion but I’ve chosen not to try and find out.

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

100%

42. Ever had detention?

A few times

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

The city

44. What do people call you?

Sierrah, Twin, Mama, Sweetie, Babe, Watson, Dr. Watson, Sissy, Friend, Girl Child

45. What was the last book you read?

Empire Of Storms by Sarah Maas

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

I’m a giant nerd about certain things

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

A little of everything, but most of my playlist is indie alternative

48. How tall are you?

5’ 2.5”

49. Do you like kids?

I do

50. Favorite fruits?

Watermelon, cantaloupe, purple grapes

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Leggings

52. What’s your earliest memory?

My fourth birthday when I was given Ricky raccoon and had a cupcake train as a birthday cake

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

There’s a song out there…

“Do you wanna run? Do you wanna drive? Do you wanna get away and start over? Do you wanna begin again…”

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Equal amounts of both

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Miniature pianos, playbills, pins, different editions of Peter Pan, You Are Here mugs from Starbucks…

56. Do you save money or spend it?

Both.

57. What would your dream house be like?

One of those timeless homes with a big green grassy yard and towering oak trees like in the movies we watched as kids.

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

Infidelity, lies, abusive people, rampant stupidity, being micromanaged

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

My son, any time spent with my best friend, snow, Broadway shows, seeing the mountains.

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. I’ll get another job.

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would tell everyone. I’d spend the rest of my days trying to do everything I ever wanted and I’d bring along anyone who would be willing to go with me. I don’t think I’d be afraid. Death is but the next great adventure.

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

That squishy organ in our chests.

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’v always wanted to see Paris

64. Do you like the beach?

I di

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

Both

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it?

Marie

67. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time

68. Describe your hair.

It’s very fine, I have a shit ton of it, and it’s currently 15 shades of red/brown/blonde/caramel

69. What is the meaning of life.

To live

70. What is your ideal partner like?

I’m with him and I explained above what I love about him.

71. Do you want to get married?

I am next February.

72. Do you want to have kids?

I have one, undecided on whether we’ll try for another.

73. Like or dislike your family?

I like some, dislike others

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Leaning more chunky these days

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

Yes

76. What would you change about your life?

I wouldn’t. I mean I would like to be be financially secure but that’s it

77. Religious or Not?

No

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

This would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Every single day

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

We’d be asleep

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? He lives with me so yeah

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? It’s my favorite thing

84. Do you like bubble baths? I LOVE them

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Twice

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

More than once

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Several people

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

Fuck.

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

Seattle, NYC, Australia, Paris, Switzerland, Norway, Italy, Ireland, England, hawaii

90. How was your day today?

Quiet

91. Play an instrument?

A little piano

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

I think it’s beautiful and a force to be reckoned with. Spending time in front of it always feels like a reset button on life.

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Both.

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

No, but things are good. I’ve given up on trying to plan the future. It is never really what we think it will be.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

I do, but I rarely let it out

96. When are you vulnerable?

It just depends

97. How much free time do you have?

No much

98. Do you like to go hiking?

Very much

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

Even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

All of the above and more

[animerina]

Wine for Freedom-3

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22)

Support me with Ko-Fi

Thranduil x F!Reader

Summary: The Reader is left with nothing but three bottles of wine after Smaug destroys Laketown and somehow becomes Thranduil’s new brewmaster.

Note: 18+ ONLY, minors DNI. This started as a one shot and ended up as a full story. You can read the rest on A03.

All Italics are Elvish.

Chapter 3: Accidental Revelations

Meleth nin-my beloved Mellon nin-my friend Melda-Beloved/Dear Û-No/It isn't so Man cerig?-What are you doing? Aran nin-My King Hiril vuin-My Lady

I awoke to knocking on my door. I felt exhausted as if I hadn’t slept and I groaned loudly before telling whoever it was to enter. Calanthe slid inside, but froze when she saw me still laying on the bed.

“Are you alright, mellon nin?”

“I am just tired.”

“So I see. Did you perhaps drink too much?”

“If only,” I muttered.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing, mellon nin. Can you help me out of this dress?”

“Of course.”

I stood, turning towards her, and allowing her to undo the laces and pulled it off. I grabbed my robe off the end of the bed and quickly pulled it over myself. I sat on the bed while she went to run a bath.

My mind was spinning when I remembered everything that had happened the night before. I flushed at the thought of seeing him again today, but found I was also excited to see him. I wondered how soon it’d be. Usually I didn’t run into him often, but perhaps he’d make an effort to cross paths with me today.

Calanthe called me over and when I stepped towards her, I inwardly cringed at the slickness between my legs, and hoped she wouldn’t notice. She left the room as I sunk into the tub and sighed, appreciating the hot water.

After exiting the bathroom, Calanthe stopped me with the concerned look across her face.

“Are you certain you are alright?”

“I promise, I am fine.”

“How was your dinner?”

“It was,” I paused for a second longer than I intended. “It was fine. I greatly enjoyed myself.”

“So I heard,”

“What?!” I sputtered out.

“The servants said you two got along quite well.” She said innocently.

“Oh well yes. Well actually he did ask if I wanted to return to Dale, but I said I’d stay if he’d have me.”

“How considerate of him, but I’m glad you will be staying. I do not know how often I would be able to visit Dale if you had decided to go.”

“I like the company here too much,” I cooed at her.

The elleth pulled a knee length dress out from my wardrobe and set it on the bed. She grabbed a short matching robe and black tights and laid them out as well. She went to clean up in the bathroom while I changed into what she had chosen. I preferred shorter dresses and tunics when I planned on working in the cellar. I was lacing my boots up when she returned and motioned for me to follow her to the vanity so she could fix my hair. Her lithe fingers wove between small strands and created a masterpiece with my typically unruly hair. I gently pushed on the braids admiring them in the mirror.

“I will never get over just how talented you are, Calanthe.”

“You honor me with such praise,” she giggled.

Walking down into the cellar, I mentally reviewed the new recipe I had thought of before drifting off. I had made a mulled cider before, but I wanted to try a different flavor for Galion and his quick thinking. Knowing he knew was mortifying, but I was grateful I had his loyalty at least for now. I was so lost in thought, I nearly missed a step. Luckily I was able to catch myself before falling.

“Careful, hiril vuin.”

A surprised scream shot out of me and I fell backwards landing hard on a step. Thranduil’s eyes widened before he tossed his head back and laughed loudly. I realized it was the first time I’d heard a real laugh from him. His normal reaction would have been to politely cover his mouth as he chuckled, but I guessed we were on different terms now. He approached and easily lifted me from the floor, setting me down on my feet. His smirk told me he was biting back a comment. He was wearing a long, deep blue coat embroidered with silver leaves that swept the floor and black plants, attire that was much more casual than what I was used to. Like most days, he wore a crown of branches upon his head.

“You startled me, Aran nin.”

“Hmm, I believe I asked you to call me by my name, Y/N.”

“Forgive me, I wasn’t sure if we were truly alone,” I looked behind me at the stairs. “Thranduil.”

All my anxiousness melted away now that I stood before him again. He was still his smug self, but I found I was enjoying his teasing.

“What are you doing down here anyway? I would think you have duties to attend to.”

“I thought I might sample some of your varieties.” He stepped away from me to browse my shelves. “I need to make sure I’ll enjoy what is served in my halls.”

“You seemed to enjoy the wine last night, but perhaps you’d like to try something different?”

He hummed and I led him over to the small table I had for when Galion and Elros stopped by. I pulled a few bottles and jugs off of the shelf bringing them to where Thranduil sat. Grabbing a small sampling glass, I uncorked a bottle and poured a small amount of wine for him. He sipped it slowly, savoring the flavor before commenting.

“A bit dry for my taste.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at his haughtiness.

“However, it is acceptable.”

“And here I thought you’d enjoyed my creations,” I chided.

“Keep pouring.”

He tasted several more wines followed by a mulled cider he thoroughly enjoyed. He pointed at the last bottle, with a cloudy liquid inside. It was much smaller than the rest of the bottles, and had no handwritten tag like many of the ones kept on the shelf.

“And this one, Y/N?”

“It is something I’ve been working on. I finally got the concentration right, though I must admit, it tastes something awful.”

“I didn’t know you were making poison down here,” he said teasingly.

“It tastes awful, but it will get even you drunk in no time. It’s a liquor I had heard of but never had the right ingredients to make it. You’ve been so generous with access to your gardens, I wanted to try to make it for you.”

Without replying, he extended his palm and I placed the bottle in his hand. He eyed me as he hesitantly uncorked it and took the most delicate sip before gagging as it hit the back of his throat.

I couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from my lips as he tried to regain his composure. I gripped my stomach and leaned over in a fit. How can one so regal suddenly look so ridiculous? Thranduil had grown quiet and my laughing ceased as he stood quickly, his chair falling over backwards with how fast he moved. His lithe body towered over me, backing me up until I was against the wall. All his playfulness was gone and I felt my limbs go numb as he glared down at me. I cursed myself for overstepping.

“You dare poison me, woman?” He snarled as his arms caged me in. “That is treason.” The emphasis on the word scared me more. I began to stutter out an apology but his glare silenced me. Narrowed slits held my gaze as he leaned down, lips brushing against my ear, and smugly whispered.

“How should I punish you?”

With all of my might, I pushed him off of me. The nerve of this elf! He chuckled as he stepped back holding his arms up in mock surrender.

“Come now, Y/N, surely you knew I did not mean it.”

“I did not know!” I moved away from the wall and began cleaning up the bottles left on the table. I felt the urge to cry, but fought the feeling down refusing to embarrass myself further. I refused to face him again knowing I would lose my composure if I looked in those blue eyes. Feeling him watching me, I continued picking up the mess I had made ignoring his presence. What was I supposed to say to him now?

“Melda, come,” he said at my back. He turned me to him, looking rightfully apologetic. Brows furrowed, he cupped my face with one hand, holding mine in his other.

“I could never bring myself to raise a hand to you.”

His gentle caress combined with his soft words were making it harder to hold in the tears. Unfortunately, he noticed. He leaned down and pulled me into a soft kiss as he wiped my tears with his thumb. Thranduil’s lips traveled up my cheek, continuing on until he left one last kiss on my forehead.

“You are dear to me. Please believe me when I say that.”

“I do.”

“I am glad.”

Thranduil raised my hand, kissing my knuckles, eyes trained on my own. In turn, I pulled his hand towards me, surprising the both of us, and kissed his ring. Letting go, I stepped away and continued with cleaning up.

“I suppose I should let you get back to whatever it is kings do,” I threw over my shoulder.

“I suppose you are right,” he replied and headed towards the stairs. “I will have Galion fetch you for dinner.

“Surely you will be too busy for me,” I half-heartedly teased.

“Never.” He assured with a small smile.

Watching him start up the stairs left me smiling dumbly as I flitted around the cellar trying to busy myself. I picked up the chair off the floor and sat down, pouring myself some wine from the bottle Thranduil liked the best. I swirled the white wine in the glass admiring the golden hue it gave off. I had infused it with peaches I stole from the kitchen. I smiled at the memory and drank.

I heard footsteps behind me and called out to the person approaching.

“Have you changed your mind, meleth nín?”

“Meleth nín? I did not realize we were so close.”

I nearly fell out of my seat when I heard Elros’s voice instead of Thranduil’s. My face flushed and I turned to face the young elf as he strolled casually into the cellar silently hiding me. He pulled the chair across from me out and sat in it, silently poured himself a glass, leaned back and just stared me down.

“You spoke so freely a moment ago, meleth nín, what stops you now?”

“I thought I said mellon nin. You know my Sindarin is awful.” I chose deflection as the best tactic to escape this mess.

“And I’m a dwarf,” he countered. “Now tell me, was it Galion you were expecting?”

“Galion?! What makes you think I-,” I began but he interrupted me.

“I know it is not me you pine for. Feren is spoken for. Calanthe prefers the company of ellons. Galion is the only other person you enjoy the company of.”

“I am not in love with anyone!” I all but shouted.

“And yet, I believe you are.”

“You are impossible!”

He laughed at my anger and I very badly wanted to pour the rest of the wine on his head. I huffed, cheeks puffing out like a child throwing a fit.

“I will not say,” the elf promised.

“I cannot say. I do not even understand what is brewing between he and I.”

“I did not think Galion was such a complicated ellon.”

“I did not say it was Galion.”

He tilted his head in confusion and awaited an explanation. How could I tell my friend I was playing romantics with the king of all people? But Elros and I were friends. How could I not tell him? Before I could make up my mind, Calanthe entered the cellar, draped in a beautiful light green gown.

“Lady Y/N,” she greeted warmly. “Ah, hello Elros,” she added upon seeing my companion.

“Yes, mellon nin?” I asked, pleased with the momentary distraction.

“I wanted to inform you that King Thranduil has sent a dress for you to wear this evening. It is very lovely.”

Elros gasped in realization.

“Û!” He exclaimed in disbelief.

“Elros,” I pleaded.

“You and that thorny prick? Man cerig?” The elf growled out.

“I fear I am lost,” Calanthe spoke up.

“Alright!” I stood suddenly and ushered Calanthe into my seat before grabbing the bar stool I had in the corner and dragging it to the table. Perching on it, I poured the two more wine and composed myself. I did not plan on telling them all the romantic details, but I would tell them the truth.

“Allow me to start at the beginning.”

Tag list: (If you’d like to get added please let me know.)

@velvetmotel20 @happycupcakeenthusiast

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 19 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Reader and Spencer share the night together following her doctor’s appointment. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Fingering, penetrative sex, degradation, daddy kink, Adults w/ Age Gap (10yr), spitting kink, unprotected sex (creampie), vague mention of subdrop, aftercare included Word Count: 6.2k

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

There was something about the BAU bullpen that felt like another world. The open layout and the way it could shift from frantic rushing to bored silence in seconds sometimes made me feel like I was the most normal person contained within its walls. It was a rare sight, to see me there, and for good reason. I didn’t like to be there, considering most of my time there had been spent being questioned about homicide.

But it wasn’t like that, not that morning. I’d finished my doctor’s appointment early enough that I could hopefully locate the elusive Dr. Reid before he took off for lunch. And sure enough, just as I excitedly bounced over to his desk, I heard the ever-excited, yet comforting squeak of my boyfriend as he returned with a freshly poured cup of coffee.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he practically yelled through a smile, rushing over to drop the mug on his desk. He couldn’t do it fast enough and barely made it. Once the mug was barely safe on the desk, his arms raced to wrap around me.

I giggled at the enthusiasm, considering it’d only been a couple hours since I saw him. But I was ecstatic to be with him and share the news I’d tucked away to keep safe on the way over. It was too much to bear by myself for long, and I knew he would be happy to help carry the load.

“I finished my appointment early and since I was in the neighborhood, I wanted to come see my boyfriend and give him the good news in person.” I explained. Spencer eyed me cautiously, careful not to get too far ahead of himself. I looked back with what I’d hoped was a cheeky grin, but I had a feeling it just turned into a goofy, toothy grin. Just as Spencer figured it out and his eyebrows shot up, another voice joined us.

“Mia stellina!” Rossi boomed, the bass carrying through the room like it always seemed to. It was the kind of joyful exclamation that demanded your attention, no matter how dark the circumstances surrounding you were. I knew that from personal experience.

I laughed again as he enveloped both me and Spencer in a hug that the latter only kind-of-sort-of cringed away from.

“Reid didn’t tell us that you were coming in today! I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

I snorted at the implication, stepping back to buy back my breathing space. “You’re never a bother, Rossi.” And I meant it, even if he had just interrupted mine and Spencer’s very important conversation. I could table it for a moment, though. There hadn’t been many chances for me to talk to Rossi since the hospital. Although he'd visited less frequently than Derek or Hotch, he'd still come by often enough for me to miss him. He was, by far, the most unique member of the team. People always assumed it would be Penelope, but I stuck with my contention that it’s the quieter ones you have to keep an eye on. Not that Rossi didn’t love to talk, and especially when it granted him the ability to name-drop.

“This is why I like you,” he casually reminded, waving off a slightly offended Spencer on his side. “And I trust that Reid already told you about the plans for next weekend.”

As soon as I turned to look at Spencer, he immediately looked away.

Luckily, Rossi wasn’t obtuse and quickly recognized the display of guilt. “I stand corrected.”

“What plans?” I butted in before either of them could speak. Spencer grimaced at the monotone, as he was fully aware of the level of annoyed it signaled.

“I told him to extend you an invite to the next family dinner, but it seems like he’s selfishly planning on keeping you all to himself.” Rossi’s playful tone was his way of requesting I give Spencer a break, but I wasn’t in the mood for forgiveness just yet. After spending months trapped in my bed, I was always looking for an excuse to talk to anyone that wasn’t my roommate. And when it came to the team... I mean, they were like his family. It made sense I wanted their approval, right? Or was I really, honestly just seeking the approval of men like Hotch and Rossi because of my “daddy issues?” And oh, god, I didn’t want to delve into that psychology.

“How rude,” I deadpanned, instead, elbowing Spencer’s side just enough to elicit a pained exhale and an explanation.

“I was going to tell her. I was just waiting until we actually knew when it was going to happen.”

“He’s lying,” I told Rossi, earning a very adamant, denial from Spencer in the process that I brushed off. We both did. The pout that immediately followed was harder to ignore, but I could be strong.

Honestly, it was just funny to see him in this environment. When he was alone with me, he was usually the one in charge, but at work, Spencer was hardly that. It was the only chance I had to tease the ever living shit out of him with little chance of immediate consequences.

“Yeah, he’s lying,” Rossi easily deduced, waving a dismissive hand at Spencer before continuing, “But luckily, you were here. And whenever it happens, I hope that you’ll be there, too. It’s important for you to have a chance to socialize with us outside of the job.”

I smiled, finally looping my arm around Spencer’s to hopefully ease the pain caused by being ignored. Rossi, however, didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength, considering he gave another quick quip. “Hopefully you’ll bring the kid with you,” he teased as he turned away, pointing to the notably older and larger man at my side.

“How am I the kid in this scenario?” Spencer muttered under his breath, the pout still on his face, and still just as cute.

“Will do, Rossi,” I happily chirped.

“Thank you, stellina.” Rossi said with a wink, casually bringing both hands to his lips to blow each of us a kiss.

Once Rossi was fully out of earshot, Spencer sighed in resignation. He had complained before about the fact that the team had immediately felt comfortable with me, contrary to his own experience. But of course, it wasn’t fair to compare. I'd come into their lives piggybacking on their close relationship with him. Spencer didn’t see it that way, though.

“Why do you get a nickname?” he grumbled, dropping his head to the side to rest atop mine.

I didn’t let him rest there long, pushing him back away from me so that I could stand before him again. With my fingers under my chin, I flashed the brightest smile I could while dramatically emphasizing, “Because I’m a little star.”

Spencer looked down at me with a gentle adoration, his hand coming up to brush over my cheek. My face followed after him, desperate for any contact he could offer in the sterile environment. It didn’t really make much sense how touch starved I was; it wasn’t like he hadn’t touched me over the past couple months. Or even that he'd touched me any less-- if anything, it had been more.

But then again, how could I ever get enough? I was certain Spencer would call me spoiled, and in many ways, I was, but I didn’t care. If I could find a way to bottle up the way I felt when he held me, I would. Lord knows there were so many times when I'd needed it and he wasn’t there. I wouldn’t ever admit that to him, though. What would be the point?

He couldn’t always be there. Sometimes he would have to leave. 

Unaware of the dramatic monologue in my head, my boyfriend sighed. His lips pursed again while he watched my eyes soften the longer that he held my face. “You certainly are little,” he concluded. I knew he wanted to say more but feared doing so might lead the conversation down a path less suited for work. Although, what I had planned wasn’t exactly work appropriate, either.

“You know we’re definitely going, right?” I replied, peeking my tongue out from behind my lips.

With a loud groan, he took his hand back like the question had burned him. “Fine,” he conceded before quickly shifting the conversation, “but I’m more interested in what you came here to tell me. How did your appointment go?”

“It went very well. I got wonderful news,” I beamed. There were many idiosyncrasies of Dr. Spencer Reid that I absolutely adored, but one of my favorites happened to be the one where his eyebrows jumped halfway up his forehead, his eyes going wide with a curious glint. Just like they did then.

“Does this news mean you’ll be staying at my place tonight?”

“It can…” As I spoke, I wrapped both of my arms around his arm and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “unless you want to take a long lunch break and get a head start.”

“Someone’s eager,” he replied with a snort that didn’t sound nearly as promising as I’d hoped.

“Can you blame me?”

Before I could sulk too hard, he poked me on the forehead and chuckled at the resistance I gave to the action. “Lunch, unfortunately, would not give me enough time for what I want to do to you,” he practically purred in a barely-there whisper against my ear. “When I get home, I want to find you on my bed with nothing on. Do you understand me, little girl?”

“Yes.” I had to stop myself from making too much noise, but a pathetic whimper slipped out before I could stop it.

“Good girl,” he whispered with his retreat, “I’ll see you then.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the hours to pass me by. I couldn’t stay at the BAU for long, recognizing a sudden shift of energy as JJ began rushing them into the office right before I left. At first, I thought it was a case, but Spencer assured me it wasn’t. He promised me that he would be home that night, and that I didn’t need to worry.

But the hours did not fly by; they took their sweet fucking time. I didn’t even bother waiting in the bed for most of them. I honestly spent nearly 8 of them rifling through the shelves in his living room, looking for a book that was both from this century and actually in English.

After I’d rifled through his cupboards and realized that he didn’t have any food, I went to the grocery store and bought food, returned, unloaded the bags, cooked and ate dinner before I came to one simple conclusion:

Spencer Reid was a filthy goddamn liar.

That was my admittedly grumpy thought when I finally crawled into his still empty bed in his even lonelier apartment. His pillow smelled enough like him that I could hug it and pretend that I wasn’t waiting for someone who was probably not going to come back anytime soon. I thought about going home, but I decided being lonely in his bed was better than being alone in my own.

My temper tantrum  kept my face sulkily buried in his pillow, so when my phone started to ring, I didn’t notice it. I didn’t notice much of anything, and before I knew it, I’d drifted off into a world where Spencer could keep his promises because his job didn’t suck.

Of course, even in my sadness my mind drifted to other memories spent there. I’d fallen back into the loop of memories of the last time we were together. I could almost feel his breath against my thighs and his hands raking over my hips. And like it always seemed to, reality and fantasy began to blur. Spencer’s hand on my thigh felt so hot, I was burning beneath it. My whole body tensed, my back arching in the hopes of finding him.

I wasn’t sure which woke me first, the low, gentle chuckle, or the whisper in my ear.

“Maybe I should change your nickname to Aurora.”

I sat up before I even registered the words. Reacting to his voice alone, my arms were already around him and dragging him back down before he could say anything else.

“You’re home!” I shouted, groggy but happy to not be alone. If I’d looked at the clock, I would have seen the hands pointing to the early hours of the next day, but it hardly mattered anymore. All that mattered to me was that he was there, in my arms.

“I guess it’s my fault for not specifying that you should be awake when I got home.”

Answering him with a sloppy, sleepy kiss on the lips, I relished the way he couldn’t stop himself from laughing through it. “I’m awake now,” I answered with a very poorly timed yawn. It luckily didn’t dissuade him, and his hands quickly worked up over my hips and beneath the sheer negligee I’d worn to bed hours earlier. 

“What’s this? I could have sworn my instructions were to not wear anything,” he chastised with a smile.

“I don’t follow instructions. You already knew that,” I mumbled back. It wasn’t until I ran my hands through his hair that I realized that he’d already stripped down to nothing before waking me up.

How considerate.

His curls seemed so much longer than before, and the movements seemed to distract him enough to grant me some mercy. We both knew why I didn’t want to be naked yet. And it really was a ‘yet.’ I truly believed that I’d eventually be able to own my body again, but that point just seemed so far in the future. Spencer didn’t want to push it. Not that night.

“I’ll let it slide this time.” He shared the words with kisses over my jaw and neck, his hands growing hungrier by the second. They skipped straight from my hips to my chest, grabbing hold of my breasts through the thin fabric. He was almost out of breath already when he murmured, “Before we do anything, you have to promise me you’ll stop me if it hurts.”

“I know, Spencer,” I droned, but he kept going.

“I mean it. Any sign of discomfort, you have to tell me.”

“I know!” I shouted with a laugh, struggling to push him away while he continued to cling to me. Finally having managed to do it, I promptly fell back onto the pillow. As I rolled my body over to lay flat, I managed to grab hold well enough that I could pull him over top of me. “Don’t ruin the mood!”

He stopped to admire the sight before him. All I could see, though, was the way he looked at me. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me like that. He looked at me like he loved me so much he wanted to break me. I wished he would.

“How could I ruin anything when you look so fucking perfect laid out in my bed for me?” He growled, his nails dragging over the sensitive skin of my chest.

I couldn’t tell if it was his intention or some kind of Freudian slip, but I was reminded of the day I marred his chest with a necklace-shaped mark in a very similar fashion. The memory made me giggle. “I’m not so innocent.” The understatement of the century.

“Maybe not, but there are still a lot of things I’ve yet to show you.”

I was waiting for the but. I knew it was coming.

“But for now, we’re going to go slow.”

And there it was. I thought to myself how ridiculously unfair it was that having a good boyfriend meant actually being able to rely on them to take care of you. Even armed with the knowledge of my masochistic tendencies, Spencer was too scared to seriously hurt me. Thankfully, though, he wasn’t scared enough to stop him from sliding his hand up my thigh and slipping his finger into my drenched heat.

“The question is how slow?” he teased, recognizing from the rocking of my hips that I was more than prepared to have him then. “How much should I torture you, little girl?”

“Please,” was the only word I could whine at first, but I still saw too much restraint in his eyes. I knew that if I didn’t convince him now, I might be there for hours before he gave me what I wanted. It wasn’t the worst idea, but judging by his already bloodshot eyes, I figured I might as well speed things along.

“Please, daddy,” I whimpered much louder, tilting my hips up to present myself to him. I could feel his erection pressed against me, his palm pressing down as he struggled to decide if he even wanted to keep me in place. I could see that desire to destroy me return to his eye with a vengeance. He knew that I was challenging him, but then again, when did I not?

“Take care of me,” I begged. That was the way I succeeded in breaking Spencer; in turn, he would break me.

He grabbed my legs so quickly and roughly that I was almost dizzy with it. Wrapping them around his own hips, he lined himself up and began dragging the head of his cock over my sex. Low and wildly shaking, Spencer’s words were only barely audible over the sound of the blood rushing in my veins.

“Are you ready?” he asked, like my answer would ever change.

“Yes!” I shouted, nodding like my words wouldn’t be enough.

Spencer had barely waited for the confirmation. Inch by inch, he slowly stretched me open like it was the very first time he touched me. His movements were so precise, so gentle and undoubtedly tender, that I thought I might actually cry.

I had almost forgotten what it felt like when he touched me like that. I would never admit it to him, but with every passing second, I could feel the love rushing back to me. That connection that had felt strained was reinforced and reasserted.

He just felt so fucking good. And apparently, Spencer had similar thoughts in mind.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his head falling forward to knock our foreheads together. There was clearly so much effort going into not hurting me that I just found myself hoping he was still enjoying it. That train of thought made it more difficult when his next question came. “Does it hurt?”

“No, it feels so fucking good,” I sobbed, and it was the truth. My hips, though already growing tired thanks to the months of disuse, struggled to try and take more of him. And even when he was fully inside me, I still cried out to him. “Please, Spencer!”

“Be patient,” he said with a grunt, his hips pulling back just enough for him to slam into me with more force. “I’m going to enjoy this.”

The words made a swarm of butterflies burst through my lower half that already felt so full with him. The statement just sounded so perfectly selfish in a way I’d been dying to feel for months. I wanted him to reap the rewards he’d so obviously earned. I wanted to give them to him, really, but I just couldn’t make it too easy. It wasn’t our style.

“So it’s not about taking care of me anymore, is it?” I pouted, although my lips quickly parted again as Spencer increased his pace in response.

“Are you not satisfied, little girl?” he teased, reaching up with one hand to wrap around my hair, forcing my head back among the pillows while he started to drive into me at a reckless pace. “Do you need me to fuck you harder?”

“Yes!” I yelled, my hands reaching for him, digging into his skin and bringing him closer to me. “I want it. Give it to me.”

Whether he sensed the desperation in my voice or simply couldn’t hold it back any longer, Spencer showed an uncharacteristic level of mercy on me. He barely protested at all before giving into my demands. Holding my head back in that same craned position, he laid sloppy kisses over my throat before whispering, “My little girl gets whatever she wants.”

There were no more words on my mind besides his name, which I recited over and over like a prayer. Each time he filled me, my eyes could barely stay open and my lips were nearly bruised from my constant biting. It was easy to forget that the rest of the world existed— that it was past midnight on a weeknight and everyone in the surrounding apartments would probably fucking hate us.

But Spencer didn’t seem to care either. Well, that’s a misstatement. Spencer definitely cared about my volume, but he didn’t care about other people not being able to hear it. He made that quite clear when he gripped my lower jaw in one hand and pulled it down, forcing my mouth open for him.

He had that look in his eyes again. The one that told me there were entire worlds in his mind that I hadn’t seen. Deeply hidden desires lurking just under the rippling surface. I wondered how far they went and just how much Spencer would hurt me if I could convince him to.

“Tell me what you want,” he ordered through clenched teeth, his jaw tensed and eyes still burning. There was a hurricane happening behind those hazel rings, and I wanted him to let it out.

I didn’t know how to ask him to do that; to convince him to break me even while I lay before him already broken and barely keeping it together. I did the only thing I could think to do with his hand still holding my mouth open to him and presented my tongue to him.

Spencer tried to remain composed and stoic as ever, but his body betrayed in him the same way it always did. His eyes. From the second they flickered down to see what I was asking for, his pupils blew out and swallowed the comforting toffee color of his irises.

With an even darker tone, Spencer chuckled, “You’re a filthy, greedy bitch.”

It’s hard to explain how much the words filled every part of my body. The way goosebumps rippled over my skin and an undeniable, almost unbearable heat burned at my face. It only got worse when Spencer finally did as I asked, gathering the saliva in his mouth just to drop it into my own.

The second it hit my tongue, I felt so irrefutably his that I was high with it. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I swallowed between hungry gasps for air. And when it was over, I presented my tongue to him again.

I did so good, sir. Please tell me that I’m good, sir.

There were no words, but Spencer praised me in his actions. He lowered his mouth to mine, his tongue sliding against mine until our mouths were connected in the basest manner. For all the destructive power he held, he kissed me so softly. He still kissed me like he loved me.

Neither of us lasted much longer. Spencer’s hand slid from my jaw to rest on my neck, and a moan tore through my chest. Even though he applied no pressure, the casual reminder of what he could do to me was all that I needed. I lost myself in the bliss of him, my hands tangled in his hair and holding his mouth against mine even when I couldn’t kiss him anymore.

His eyes watched me, still covered in the blackness of his pupils and that animalistic desire to claim me however possible. I watched those eyes the entire time I came, wanting to both grant him the submission he deserved while also selfishly wanting to see the control I had over him, too.

Spencer kept his eyes open as he followed after me, unable to resist the calling of my body, begging him to mark, use, and fill it however he pleased. I watched his eyes roll back ever so slightly, his breath hitching as he pulsed inside me in tandem with my walls that held onto him for dear life.

I was his. I'd known that before, but how easily I’d forgotten. How quickly I’d let some stranger and some lead lay claim to me and make me believe that I could be anything but Spencer’s beautiful little girl.

When all semblance of fight left our bodies, Spencer still managed not to collapse on top of me. Apparently not even me letting him spit in my mouth was enough to convince him I was alright. I wrapped my arms around him and tugged him down on top of me, feeling the comfortable weight of him holding my chest down to more manageable breaths.

That was all there was for a while; our heavy breath breezing over sweat-covered skin as we lay tangled together under the sheets. I soaked in the feeling of slightly uncomfortable bliss, enjoying the way that we didn’t care if it wasn’t perfect because it felt close enough to us.

“I missed this,” Spencer said under his breath. It was a rare showing of selfish honesty— the first time he’d admitted to me that he had been having to hold part of himself back for months. He hadn’t been able to love me like he wanted, either. He might have been worried that I would take it the wrong way, but in reality, I had never felt so relieved to hear it.

“Me too.” I returned, trying to assuage his guilt as much as I could. I knew it wouldn’t do much, but I needed him to understand how grateful I was to share the moment with him.

Then again… They do say that laughter is the best medicine. So with a bit of a giggle, I mumbled, “Not so much the next part, but this one, yeah.”

With a small, sleepy chuckle, Spencer slurred against the pillow, “You’re such a romantic.”

“Says the asshole who doesn’t have to get up,” I reminded him. I struggled to move underneath him as he seemed to drop even more dead weight on top of me.

Like I said: Asshole.

“I wish you didn’t have to get up. I don’t want to let you go yet.”

I rolled my eyes, continuing to push at his stubborn shoulders while huffing back, “It’ll only be a few minutes, Spencer. The bathroom is right there.”

Nuzzling his face into my neck, he mumbled back, “Too long.”

“I can never tell if you’re more of an old man or a big baby.”

“I don’t know, let’s stay here and talk about it for a long time,” he answered with a laugh. I hated the fact that I laughed too, my attempts to shove him off finally ceasing. He pulled his head back, looking at me with all the love in the world.

I wasn’t ready for him to look at me like that. I couldn’t explain why, but the idea of him loving me still felt so terrifying. That fear was compounded by the realization that he might see it.

“Get up, idiot,” I replied to hide that emotion. It also helped to distract me from my own thoughts, and I ended up biting on my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling. It didn’t work.

“You’re so mean to me,” Spencer whined as he slowly removed himself with a small grunt.

“Only when you deserve it.”

Normally I would have eagerly gotten up myself, but I realized then just how painful it was to move. Spencer watched me with a massive, overwhelming guilt that formed before I could even think of how to prevent it. I decided it wasn’t worth it to try. It wouldn’t work. I just let him guide my legs off the bed so that I could shakily stand and shuffle off to the bathroom.

The best part about the time alone was being able to pull myself together and massage the angry scar tissue.

It won’t always be like this, I reminded myself, we can be beautiful again without it hurting.

That was the pep talk, anyway. It was the thing that got me back into the room and under the covers. Curling up by his side was like nature’s medicine. All of my muscles relaxed against him... until he turned around and ruined the perfect comfortable position.

Groaning in the least attractive manner, I pouted the entire time we readjusted. But despite my protests, Spencer looked as happy and comfortable as ever. Plopping my head back down on the pillow, I narrowed my eyes at his contemplation.

“What?”

“L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle,” he answered, which really only led to my confused face shifting to confused and incredibly turned on again. But one word in particular sounded familiar, as reminded by Rossi earlier in the day. Or rather, the day before.

“I recognize that last word. What are you saying about me, Dr. Reid?”

“It’s the final line in Divina Commedia by Dante Alighieri.” He was doing that cryptic thing again, having apparently not learned his lesson that I would always beat the answer out of him eventually, one way or another

Through a yawn, I mumbled, “What is that, Dante’s Inferno?”

“Well, Inferno is the first section, but I’m quoting Paradiso, which is the third and final installment of the overall work.” And apparently, he was also doing that thing where he taught me really interesting new things when I definitely did not have the brain capacity to understand or retain the information. We both knew I would have to Google it later, so there was no point in lingering.

“Okay, so what does it mean?”

Spencer paused, his gaze sweeping back and forth across my face like he was searching for the proper translation. Like the real answer he sought was something that could only be seen by his eyes. Eventually, he settled on a simpler and equally romantic response.

“It’s the way he describes the piece of Heaven he saw.”

But that still wasn’t good enough for my constantly curious self. It might have been the brat in me, but it was almost like he was avoiding the direct translation. Like I wasn’t smart enough to come to my own conclusion about it. “I’m going to keep asking until you answer me,” I droned, more reminiscent of a nagging two year old rather than a twenty year old. 

“Spoiled,” he remarked, lightly tapping on my nose before he sighed. “It means ‘the love which moves the sun and the other stars.’”

I thought about the words for a minute. Or rather, I thought about trying to think about the words. Unfortunately, my exhaustion and blissed-out brain got the better of me, and the beautiful words whispered, in English this time, went in one ear and out the other. Spencer was giving me a smug little smile, like he could see my cluelessness written on my face.

“I like the Heaven explanation better,” I sneered, trying not to let him win this one just yet. But it was obvious from the way his smile grew that he’d already won. 

“Yeah, I knew you would. You just had to keep asking.”

Snaking my hand around his waist, I pulled myself flush against him. “I’m a very curious kitten, Dr. Reid,” I purred, gently rubbing our noses together in a very successful attempt to distract him from gloating. 

And in a brief flash of self-awareness, I realized how utterly normal I felt. It wasn’t just average; unlike the domestic moments we’d shared over the recovery, this one felt so... natural. There was nothing foreign about his hand on the small of my back, and the rhythm his fingertips tapped felt like a lullaby I’d heard a million times before.

“I wouldn’t want you any other way,” Spencer whispered, breaking me from the brief aside and back into the present. 

“I’m pretty sure you’d have me in any form.” I didn’t laugh yet, but once Spencer joined in, there was no hope left for me.

“Yeah, probably, but you don’t have to point it out!” he whined.

I watched as the color started to form on his face, first starting with his ears and nose before spreading out across his cheeks. That blush, still visible in the dim light, was still one of the most beautiful things in the world to me. I never tired of it. Paired with his embarrassed giggles mingled with my own, I felt the undeniable and overwhelming emotion that could only be described as ‘love.’

When the laughter finally ceased, it was just the two of us in silence again, although now we were so close together that we might as well have been one person. It felt that way sometimes. Not like one might think— it was not the supposedly romantic but strangely depressing idea that we aren’t whole without another. It was more like knowing that I would never be more myself than I was when I was in his arms.

Comfortable. Safe. At home.

“Spencer?” I spoke before he could fully close his eyes that he somehow kept open for me. 

“What’s up?”

“Thank you.”

That seemed to wake him up, which was not at all my intention. In fact, I'd hoped he wouldn’t respond at all and let the words stand. But he must have heard the hidden message behind it, the fear that all good things must come to an end.

“For what?” he asked. His hand on my back started to make soothing strokes under the negligee, reasserting his presence with me.

I considered answering. I thought about word vomiting all of my fears of inadequacy and broken promises and a future of settling for me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin the moment with such stupid things. The feelings would pass with enough time, right? I didn’t want to bother him with it. I didn’t even know if the problems were problems at all.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m happy and I love you,” I said, instead.

Spencer still saw that I was hiding something, but we were both too tired to push it. We could always talk about it in the morning if we remembered, which I was hoping we wouldn’t.

“I wish I could help you understand how much I love you,” he murmured, removing his hand from my back to trace my jaw. “I can tell you that I want to marry you and raise a family with you but… I don’t think it’s enough.

My stomach immediately dropped. It fell so hard that I actually flinched from his hand, my face twisting into an even more obvious grimace. If my hope was for Spencer to sleep, I’d made a grave error. He immediately shot up onto his arm, cupping my face and inspecting my eyes for any persisting sign of pain.

“What’s wrong?” he pressed, his eyes bouncing back and forth between my stomach and eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Nothing is wrong!” I squeaked, my hands flying to his shoulders to pull him back down. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

Our eyes locked in a challenge; a silent back and forth of wills and pleas. And eventually, Spencer started to lower back on the pillow. He’d let me win this one.

“It is past your bedtime,” he said with only a whisper of defeat in his voice.

“It’s past every normal human being’s bedtime, Spencer,” I said before turning away from him in the hope that it would make that concern in his eyes hurt less. It didn’t.

“And you think I’m the old man,” he joked back, snuggling up behind me and sighing into my neck as his hand rested on my hip. “Goodnight, little girl.”

So soon after he spoke, he was already asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so simple for me. Even in his sleep, Spencer’s hands found their way to my stomach. His fingers spread over the expanse of skin like the scars didn’t exist at all. Like it was just as perfect a placement for him to hold onto me as it ever was before. Spencer had a tendency to hold me with so much love that I no longer felt capable of containing it.

It was... suffocating. It took my mind back to images of his blood soaked hands in much of the same position. His hands felt foreign again, and I felt even further away. Like Spencer wasn’t actually there, and neither was I. All that he was holding onto was memory instead of me.

He said he loved me, but he didn’t say why. The only answers my mind would consider were things that had already died months ago. Things that his hands and kisses couldn't fix.

I couldn’t ask him why. I was too afraid of the answer.

 —————————————————

| Part 20 |

[harrylilies]

The Royal Series | Pt. V

The Royal Series Masterlist

"Think I should get my own flat." You said as you lied on Farrah's bed, looking at her ceiling that had scattered glow-in-dark stars.

"Like in secret? Out of the palace?" She asked, glancing at you then looking back at her laptop.

You hummed in confirmation. "Think I can do that?"

"If it were hypothetical, yes,” Farrah answered, looking at you. "It's unsafe given your status, no matter how much you deny it so if your family knows, it won't be pretty, and I know for sure it’s not easy.” "What if-" You sat up quickly, crossing your legs and looking at her with mischievous wide eyes. "What if I give it all up?"

"Give what up?" She asked slowly, looking at you warily.

"The status. What if I give up on royalty? Step down and live as some normal girl who's good in her work and owns her own flat? I don't have to marry F-"

"Y/N, you really need to sleep." She sighed, closing her laptop and putting it on her bedside table.

You sighed, lying on your back and pulling the cover closer to your chin. "I hope that's the case."

"Anyway, whatever you do, you know I'll support you, even if you end up living with me."

You smiled, snuggling into Farrah's cover, "You're an alright best friend."

"And you're a bitch. Goodnight, your Highness." She chuckled before rolling over and letting her back face you.

"Goodnight, peasant."

--

"Em, call them and tell them that we'll do what we talked about in the meeting and have their social media specialist start tomorrow. Has David called?" You asked your assistant as you both walk in a fast pace inside the palace, Kensington.

"He did. He said that we raised 2 million, we exceeded the target." She informed you.

You nodded, stopping in front of your flat door. "Good. Can you please schedule a meeting for tomorrow with Healing for The Future? We need to discuss the plan and start working as soon as possible."

She nodded, writing on her iPhone as you talked. "Consider it done."

"Thank you, Em. And sorry for keeping you busy till now," you smiled at her gratefully before checking your watch, "It's almost 11."

"It's my job. It's not like I don't enjoy it." Emelie assured you with a smile of hers. "Now you have a goodnight. You've been awake since 4 in the morning."

You nodded, both of you leaning to kiss each other's cheek. "Goodnight, Em."

Emelie walked off, making you turn and enter your quiet flat. You nodded at the two guards standing on your door before going inside, smiling and wishing them a goodnight.

Right as you were about to take off your shoes, a knock on your door made your move halt for a second before you granted permission to whoever was on the other side. In came one of the ladies-in-waiting, Pattie. "Your Highness?"

"Yes, Pattie? Is everything alright?"

She nodded, "Her Majesty is in His Highness Prince William's flat and requested to see you."

"Oh, she's here?" You furrow your eyebrows before standing. "Okay. Thank you, Pattie. You can sleep or do whatever you want. It's a quiet night for me." You smiled at her.

Pattie smiled back, bending her knees in a slight curtsy, "Thank you, Your Highness."

Walking to your brother's flat, you greeted the guards at the door before a maid informed you that “they were all in the drawing room.” Thinking nothing of it, you pulled out your phone as you walked towards it, opening yours and your siblings’ group chat.

Henry💂🏻‍♂️: why on earth is he here? Wills👴🏻: I honestly don't know... Wills👴🏻: Y/N, I'd advise you to not come before 11

It was too late.

Your eyebrows which were furrowed in confusion at the texts and the frown fell once you walked inside the drawing room and looked up, seeming as if the air had been knocked out of you.

"Y/N, you're here! Fred was just telling us about his last polo match." Your grandmother smiled, patting the spot next to her.

You glanced at your siblings, Kate, and your grandfather who gave you sympathetic looks before your eyes moved to the moving man who was approaching you with a smile on his face.

"It's incredible to see you, Your Highness." Fred said gently, offering his hand.

You snapped out of it and put your hand in his, watching as he kissed it, "Lovely to see you, too.”

Fred motioned for you to walk inside, walking behind you as you sat on the sofa beside your grandmother, deeply breathing as you tried to remain calm.

"Prince Fred has a gift for you, Y/N."

"Ah, yes!" He chuckled nervously, holding a rectangular velvet green box from the table before approaching you. "I know you love emerald," he spoke gently, opening the box for you.

Your eyebrows were furrowed and a frown was set on your face as you stared at the necklace with an emerald gemstone. "Uh," you let out a small chuckle before looking at him. "May I ask what's the occasion?"

"Just a kickstart for what's there to come."

You nodded slowly, straightening your posture as your eyes went back to his face, "That's a lot for just a kickstart."

You heard your brothers snicker from behind Fred, watching as he gave you a small shrug. "It's okay if you don't want to accept it. I'd understand. I asked my mother and she told me it'd be a good idea, honestly." Fred chuckled, glancing from you to the necklace in his hands, almost as if he'd never seen it.

You glanced at your grandmother who gave you a pointed look, almost as if she was holding back a scream that said "take it!"

You stood up, taking a breath and reluctantly nodded, "It's okay, I-," You gulped, an uneasy smile coming to your face, "I'll take it. Thank you."

Fred smiled, "Want help wearin-"

"No!" You instantly replied, hand coming up to graze the teardrop pendant of your necklace around your neck. "I mean," you looked at him, slightly wide eyed, "I'm going to sleep now so it's not really a convenient time to wear it."

He cleared his throat and nodded, stepping back with an arm behind his back, "I understand."

“Y/N, you said you're going to sleep. Can I come with you for a second? I left Louis' bib at your flat the last time." William said, standing up.

Despite knowing that he was coming up with an excuse for you to leave, you went along. "Oh, right. I was meaning to get it but I forgot. Anyway," With the green box in your hand, you walked towards the door with your brother following you before you turned to look at the rest, "Have a goodnight." And with that, you and William were out of the door and walking towards your own flat.

"Show me." He opened his palm, making you rest the box there. "Not bad, huh?"

"Poor lad looked like he was forced to do this." You spoke your mind, hand finding its way to your hair.

"Just like you felt you were forced to accept it?" Will replied almost instantly.

You shrugged, "It'd be very rude of me to just not accept it. He'd look like a fool."

"And why do you care?"

"Because just because I don't see myself with him, doesn't mean I'll make him feel less about himself and treat him like a doormat. I have a feeling he's forced into this like I am." You sighed, walking down the stairs.

"When did you become so wise?" Will chuckled, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "How's Romeo?"

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. "He's fine. He's in Berlin."

"Busy lad, huh?"

You nodded, "Very. Makes time to call me though."

Will smiled, giving your shoulder a squeeze. "That's good to hear."

As you reached your flat and opened the door, you turned to look at your brother, "You can stay for some tea." You suggested.

"No, it's alright. I'll head back to them. You have a good night sleep, alright?" He leaned down pressing peck to your forehead.

You nodded, smiling sleepily at him. "Goodnight, Wills."

Getting into your bed after a long day was what you looked forward on busy days, and it was the reason behind the sigh that left your lips as you had gotten under the covers.

Right as you were about to lock your phone, the screen changed from your wallpaper of you, Charlotte and George lying on the grass as you laughed – a picture Kate had taken from above months ago and it had been your favourite – to an incoming call from none other than the man who gave you zoos erupting in your stomach; Harry.

You smiled, accepting it. "Hello?"

"Hey, love," His voice alone was enough to have you already blushing. "Are you done with the day?"

You hummed, "It was a long, tiring day."

"Want to tell me about it?"

And so, you did. You told him all about your day, meetings and your scheduled plans, leaving out the part where you saw Fred.

And he told you about his show and how he was on his way to travel to Amsterdam.

"Did you wear that suit you showed me?" You asked him, lying on your back.

"Yeah, I did," He replied, "I'm going to send you two suits for tomorrow's show, choose one of them for me, please?"

You grinned, "Of course."

"Alright, I'm going to let you sleep now. Uh, Y/N?"

You hummed.

Harry chuckled slightly and almost nervously before it got quiet for a second. "I miss you,"

You grinned to yourself, feeling your heart thump in your chest at the simple 3 words.

"Feel like I want to see you already. Think-" He stopped, "Think it's your kisses. You're very, very...kissable."

You let out a small laugh, one hand moving to cover your face as the other clutched the phone tightly to your ear. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I miss you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || chapter 1

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. 

warnings: f!reader

wc: 1.4k

m.list | ↠ ch. 2

You plonk a black coffee on Kuroo’s desk, shooting him a wink.

He looks awful. Skin a tad more pallid than normal, dark bags under his eyes, hair even messier than usual. You’re almost ready to believe he’d gone on a bender last night, but you know he’s much too dedicated to his work to do something like that on a Tuesday.

He smiles at you, his chin balanced in one of his hands. You glance at the time in the corner of his computer screen. 8:30 AM. You’re not late.

“Thanks,” he nods before taking a sip of his coffee. He scrunches up his nose for a moment, but he manages to swallow it all down. When he’d told you he didn’t actually like black coffee, you’d asked him why he bothered drinking it. He’d told you that the caffeine kick was like nothing else, and he needed it to get through the day.

That was the moment you’d realised that Kuroo Tetsurou was, in fact, a loser.

“You look exhausted,” you observe, looking him up and down. Kuroo usually looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, but you’d just assumed that was a purposeful choice.

“Ouch,” he laughs, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Oh, I’m not being rude,” you dither at him. “I’m concerned.”

“No need to be,” he yawns, scrunching up his nose. “I was just on Kenma’s stream last night.”

You snort. “What, that friend of yours that plays video games for a living?”

Kuroo grins. “That’s the one.”

“How late did you stay up?”

“Oh… like 2 AM,” he shrugs. “That was nothing back in uni, but these days…”

You laugh, shaking your head. What you wouldn’t give for a taste of that youthful neglect for one’s wellbeing. You’re not quite sure when your transition to ‘responsible adult who gets paid a living wage (barely) and who (usually) turns in before 11 PM’ happened, but there’s no going back now.

“Are you hoping to leave this life behind?” You tease, tilting your head at him. “Hoping to become Youtube famous?”

“Oh, absolutely,” he grins. “I’ll earn millions at the height of my career, only to have a humiliating fall from grace when people find out I’m not a very nice person.”

“That’s tragic,” you giggle, turning back to your computer. “Make sure you go out in a blaze of glory for me, okay?”

“Oh, I intend to,” he nods, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “And don’t you worry, I’ll make myself a very lucrative merch line designed to exploit my followers for all their worth.”

His work phone starts ringing with a vengeance.

Kuroo shoots you a dithering look. You just mouth ‘good luck’ as he picks up the offending object.

“Japan Volleyball Association, sports promotion division,” Kuroo stifles a yawn as he holds the phone to his ear. “How may I help you today?”

You bite your lip as you watch him. He’s nodding and humming – typical fare for a phone call.

“I’m sorry, could you please repeat that sir?” He says with a frown.

He catches your eye, and you take the opportunity to stick your tongue out at him. A grin spreads across his face slowly as he shakes his head.

You tilt your head to the side, wondering what this specific interlocutor was after.

Kuroo gives you that look; the one that said the person on the other end of this phone line was bonkers.  

“Forgive me for being so bold, sir, but are you asking me if we’d accept a large sum of money to remove a competitor’s logo from our advertisements?”

You raised your eyebrows at him. That’s certainly a new one.

Kuroo clears his throat. “No, no, sir, I’m not accusing you of anything.”

You can hear some chatter from the other end of the phone, but none of it’s legible.

They go back and forth for a while as you sip your drink, watching as Kuroo’s patience wears ludicrously thin. That late night must be really getting to him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’ll have to refer you to someone higher up,” Kuroo sighs, two fingers massaging his temple. “I’m in no position to deal with this in a way you would find acceptable.”

At that, he presses a button on the phone’s interface, officially making this customer ‘not his problem.’

“What was that?” You ask, leaning towards him.

Kuroo rolls his eyes, stretching over the back of his chair. “I don’t know. It’s too early for this…”

You reach over to pat his shoulder. “There, there.”

He chuckles. “It’s only, what? Just past 8:30? I didn’t think I’d get an asshole so early.”

“Maybe god hates you.”

“His loss.”

You laugh, opening your mouth to respond.

Your own work phone rings. Your mood significantly drops.

Kuroo winks at you. “Into the fray.”

You sigh, picking it up. “Japan Volleyball Association, sports promotion division. How may I help you?”  

Answering calls, bargaining with sponsors, checking statistics … they may not have been the most exciting of activities, but they were part of a day’s work. It’s not exactly where you saw yourself ending up after university, but you aren’t going to snub your nose at your chance for a steady income.

Sharing a cubicle with Kuroo, at least, made things a bit more bearable.

In fact, he’d helped you settle in. On your very first day, when you were gripped with nerves and doubt, Kuroo had plonked a green tea on your desk with a warm smile. That had become a little bit of a habit, with whoever was slated to get to work last turning up with caffeine for two.

Frankly, he’d terrified you a bit, at first; you feel bad about it now, but when someone was that tall and that… intimidating, you couldn’t help it.

But, he’d disarmed you quite quickly, and willingly offered himself up as your port of call in this new tempest of a workplace. And for that, you would always be grateful to him.

You check the time. 11:15 AM. You turn to your cubicle mate, tapping him on the shoulder.

He looks over at you, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m going to go get lunch. Did you want anything?”

Kuroo spins around in his chair, standing up to full height. You often forgot just how tall he was, the bastard. “I’ll come with you, if you’d like.”

“Uh… sure.”

He tells you about the stream on the short walk to the boba shop, which is just tucked around the corner. Apparently, his friend had managed to raise the equivalent of twenty-one million yen.

“My charm and good lucks account for at least a third of those millions,” he assured you.

You didn’t quite believe that. You had a feeling that it had more to do with that Black Jackals player Kenma was purportedly close to.

Kuroo sighs as he holds the door of the boba shop open for you, ushering you inside. “Ladies first.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, ducking under his arm and into the crowded little store. The cold isn’t enough to drive off the large throng of customers. If anything, it looked more busy than usual. But, more and more people seem to flow through Tokyo as the year’s end draws closer.

The two of you stand in line, huddled just inside the warmth of the boba shop at the end of a long line.

“So,” Kuroo swallows, his gaze particularly interested in the ceiling. “I have… a favour, to ask.”

“I’m not covering shifts for you.”

“Not that,” he shakes his head, digging his hands deep in his pockets. “It’s, uh… it’s a bit more personal.”

You look up at him, blinking. “You sound like you’re asking me to help you commit a murder.”

“Not quite.”

“Not quite?!”

“I just mean that I’m asking you to do something that’s a little morally bankrupt.” He still hasn’t looked directly at you yet.

“Kuroo, you’re going to give me a panic attack.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he shakes his head again. He looks like he’s about to ask you something quite serious; frightening, even. You’re not used to seeing such a solemn look on his face. It scares you.

He takes a deep breath. “Can you pretend to be my girlfriend for the next month or so?”

It takes a moment for the question to properly click in your mind.

“I’m sorry, what?”

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: oh Boy Here We Go,,,

[your-eternal-muse]

Wish I Were....

Heather Series Chapter 12 (FINAL PART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader no longer wishes she were someone else

Words: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Birth, just pure, tooth aching fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Y/N: This is it y’all. This is the final chapter of the Heather's Series. I started this journey a little over a month ago, and my god, has it been amazing. I never thought it would pick up the traction it did, and I am so glad I decided to start posting in the first place. I’m gonna take a short break from posting any writing just to recuperate and stuff, but it won’t last longer than a week, and I will still be interacting on the platform itself. I want to thank every single reader who has liked and/or reblogged my work. It means so much to me, and I would not have gotten this far without your support. I love you all with all of my heart. There will be one more bonus “chapter” that I will be posting within the next couple days, but it’ll be mostly headcanons, and answering any questions you may have about the series. I hope the ending is worth it. 

With love, your eternal muse,

Frankie <3

~~~~~

I used to be a night owl.

I used to live in the night, sit under the stars and soak it all up.

I used to not go to bed until hours after the sunset, perfectly content to not waking up until hours after it had risen.

Now, I’m lucky to sleep for a few hours between dusk and dawn.

But I’m okay with that.

The ringing of trembling tears echoes through my ears, and I stir awake.

I rub my face, looking at the clock as I push back the comforter.

4 am.

Oh goody.

“I’ve got her baby, go back to sleep.”

Spencer whispers in my ear, planting a kiss on my shoulder, and I’m not one to argue.

I fall back into the pillows, pulling the blanket back up to my chin, my eyes closing without much resistance.

I wake an hour late, expecting to feel his body warmth against my back.

I turn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, realizing that the blanket is still pulled back from when he got up the hour before.

Oh dear lord please tell me she didn’t get sick.

I climb out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the soft glow of light emitting from her room.

I pause at the doorway, watching as he holds her close to his chest, a smile draped across his face.

I can’t help but stand and watch as he sways back and forth, watching her sleep in his arms.

I notice her tiny hand is clasped around his ring finger, the gold of his wedding band glowing in the dim light.

I love that ring on him.

I never thought I’d be the one to put it on him.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

Why am I so nervous?

He’s not going to leave me stranded.

Right?

Jesus, get a grip, y/n.

“Are you ready y/n?” Hotch walks around the corner, fixing his cuff links as he walks up to me.

I take a deep breath in, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to throw up.

“Yep. I’m ready, I just….” I fan myself. “Is it normal to feel like you’re going to pass out on your wedding day?”

He smiles, coming forward and taking hold of my hand. “It is. And I guarantee you, he’s worse than you are.”

I laugh, just imagining the state he’s in.

He hasn’t seen me in three days, since I’m a stickler for tradition.

It was my bachelorette party, than his bachelor party, and now here we are.

“When Haley and I got married, I was a nervous wreck. I don’t think I took a normal breath until hours after just because I was so worried about everything going to plan.”

He brushes some of the curls framing my face out of my eye sight.

“But, when I met her eyes, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was just us, and I knew, at that moment, that everything would be okay.”

I nod, exhaling. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He loops my arm through his, turning to the closed doors where my future waits for me.

“Thank you, Aaron. For giving me away. You’re the closest thing to a father I’ve got.”

He pats my hand. “It’s my honor, y/n.”

I hear the start of the music, and my heart jump starts. 

I grip his arm, trying to control my breathing. 

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.”

The doors open, and for a moment, I panic.

But then my eyes meet his.

And everything else disappears.

His hands are clasped in front of him, and I see him look me over, taking in everything.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and god, I never realized how much I missed him when he’s gone.

We reach the altar, where a proud Rossi stands, and Hotch hands me off with a kiss to my cheek.

I hand JJ my flowers, turning clasping Spencer's hands in mine.

When my hand touches his, my breathing returns to normal.

However, before I even notice, JJ is handing me a folded piece of paper that holds my vows.

Weddings always seem longer when you’re not in them.

I unfold the paper, clearing my throat.

“I don’t have an eidetic memory, so I need this so I don’t make a fool of myself.”

A couple laughs from the crowd.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“The first time I saw you, you were sitting at your desk, while Derek and JJ sat around you, watching you explain the scientific inaccuracies of Star Wars.”

He laughs, and Derek pats his shoulder from behind him.

“I was awestruck to say the least. The way your eyes lit up with excitement, how your hands couldn’t stay still.”

I take a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I fell in love with you at that moment. But I knew I was done for when you looked at me for the first time.”

Rossi produces a tissue from his pocket, and I laugh, accepting and blotting at my tears.

“You are my best friend. You are there for me in my darkest times, and are often the cause of all my light ones. You hold me when I cry, and you laugh when I’m angry at something stupid. You never make me feel stupid. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.”

Christ, why was this so hard?

“I love you. And I promise to cherish you, and not get annoyed when you ramble on about god knows what, because I love to listen to you talk. I promise to never make you feel like you don’t matter, because you matter so much. I promise to love you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until the end of time itself. I choose you, forever and always.”

I fold the paper up again, dabbing away my tears.

“Well, look at that, I still made a fool of myself.”

More laughs, and I hear a few sniffles here and there. 

Spencer wipes his own eyes. “I don’t know if I can top that.”

I giggle.

He goes into his jacket, and pulls out a white envelope, and my face scrunches in confusion.

“It’s not what you think it is.” He whispers.

He opens it, pulling out a car, and begins to read from the inside.

“You told me once, in a card similar to this one, that the moment you admitted to yourself that you loved me, was on a road trip to visit my mom. I thought it fitting that I tell you that, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I loved you in the same way. So here we are.”

I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the ugly sobs that threaten to spill out.

“We had only known each other for a month, but you were easily taking over every brain cell in my mind. I was terrified of you saying no, but I asked anyway. Those two weeks were some of the best of my life. I fell in love with your laugh, your smile, the way your hair looks in the sunlight. I fell in love with you from the driver's seat and I’ve loved you ever since. You deserve to be reminded of that every day for the rest of your life. I promise to hold and cherish the heart that you have given me. I promise to catch you, every time you run away. I promise to protect you with my life. You mean everything to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you. I love you, forever and always.”

He closes it, and it takes a moment for me to gather myself.

“I promise I didn’t look at your vows before writing mine.”

I laugh.

Rossi clears his throat. “The rings please, Henry.”

Henry walks forward, our rings sitting on the pillow as he smiles at us. 

“Thank you buddy.” I say, taking hold of Spencer’s between my fingers.

“Alright. Y/n, repeat after me. I, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid, to be my husband.”

I repeat the words, a smile growing bigger and bigger on my face.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until the end of time.”

Can I kiss him yet?

I say the words, like casting a spell, before slipping the golden band onto his finger.

Rossi repeats the phrase, and Spencer’s smile is as big as mine, if not bigger.

“Until the end of time.”

He delicately slips the ring on my finger, and my heart starts pounding.

“One more question for each of you. I promise, we're almost there.”

He smiles at each of us, before turning back to me.

“Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Not even a question.

“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/n Y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

I start bouncing on my toes, too excited to care.

“Then it is my great pleasure and honor to pronounce you, husband and wife.”

He turns to Spencer. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cradling my face in his hands as he places his lips on mine.

It’s just me and him, in an empty room.

I move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

It’s only when we break, that I remember people are here, and the room is filled with applause.

With our hands clasped together we walk back down the aisle, and I swear I am never going to be this happy ever again. And that’s okay.

My eyes fall from his arms, to the dresser sitting next to her crib. 

The top is covered with photos, personalized trinkets, and books. 

One picture is framed with her name in gold lettering down the side.

My first sonogram.

Through the glass I can see wrinkles in the film.

Spencer carried it with him until the day she was born.

He had always mentioned how he wanted to have kids someday.

It didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him, though.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Is this Mrs. Y/n Reid?”

I stop writing, my pen mid stroke on my paper.

“This is she.”

“Hello! This is Nicole calling from United Health with the results of your pregnancy test.”

Jesus that was fast.

“Oh! That was quicker than I expected.”

I set my pen down, closing my file, pushing some hair behind my ear, looking around to see if anyone was in ear shot.

They weren’t.

“We get that a lot. But, I’d like to say congratulations! You are pregnant!”

I stop breathing for a moment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you!”

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

“You’re so welcome! Congratulations again! Have a great rest of your day!”

I hang up, still trying to grasp the words that have just been spoken to me.

I’m pregnant.

I’m fucking pregnant.

Holy fuck.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I snap out of my daze to see Spencer standing beside my desk, a look of skeptical worry on his face.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Um…”

I have to tell him. I can’t keep this a secret from him, even if I wanted to try and surprise him.

I stand, running my hands over my pants.

“Okay, somethings wrong. You do that when you’re nervous.”

I can’t help but laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Nothings wrong, Spence. Um, I just got a call from United Health.”

He’s confused, setting the file in his hand, down on my desk.

“Why would United Health be calling you?”

There are days when I can't believe he has an I.Q. of 187.

“I went in yesterday, to get a test done. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been getting sick in the mornings. I also skipped my last period.”

I can sense the wheels beginning to turn in his head.

“Wait. Are you…”

I nod, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Spencer.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in his brain, but then he’s yelling in excitement, throwing his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around.

He sets me down, his eyes red rimmed, his smile one I will never forget.

“You’re pregnant. Oh my god we’re having a baby.”

His hands are placed on either side of my face, and I can’t help but laugh at his infectious excitement.

“Who’s having a baby, now?”

Derek walks up, and Spencer turns, and I know Derek knows just by the shit eating grin on Spencer’s face.

But I just love saying it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes light up as he claps his hands together, before pulling Spencer into a hug. “My man!”

JJ and Emily gather around, all smiles and squeals as I’m captured in the middle of a group hug.

Penelope walks into the bullpen then, confusion written across her face.

“What’s going on out here? Why are you guys screaming? Who won the lottery?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“I’m pregnant!” I all but scream.

Penelope’s expression changes in an instant as she practically runs forward.

“Oh my god! Holy crap! Baby genius! That’s so much better than the lottery!” 

She catches me in a bone crushing hug before suddenly pulling back.

“Crap. Sorry. Fragile baby.”

“Congratulations baby girl.” Derek swaps places with Penelope, who is now hugging Spencer with everything she has.

“Alright, why are you guys hugging each other?”

Rossi and Hotch walk through the glass doors, taking in the commotion.

I feel Spencer wrap his arms around me from behind, as he kisses my shoulder, my neck, my cheek.

“I’m pregnant!”

A smile immediately forms on Rossi’s face as he comes forward, grasping my face between his hands, kissing me on each of my cheeks.

“Congratulations, principessa.”

“Congratulations, to both of you.”

Hotch is smiling, waiting his turn to give hugs.

“It’s decided, celebratory dinner at my place tonight!” Rossi announces and we all cheer.

I turn my head, placing my hands over Spencer’s which are now resting over my stomach.

“I love you.” I smile.

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

Soft humming breaks the silence of the room, and quiet words float through the air as he sings to her sleeping form.

“Come Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up she goes, up she goes.”

I enter the room then, tip toeing over to stand by his side, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gently stroke her hair.

“Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh! My! The moon is on fire! Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up, all on, goodbye!”

She’s tiny.

I couldn’t fathom how tiny she was a month ago, and she has grown, but she’s still so small.

Has it already been a month?

“Jesus fuck, I  promised myself this wouldn’t happen at work.”

I shouldn’t have come in.

I know that.

I know that waking up with contractions is a tell tale sign that you should not go to work.

But she isn’t due for another two weeks. Two weeks is a long time. Hopefully enough time to get a grip on myself so I don’t panic that I’m gonna fail as a mother every time I think about it too hard.

I thought maybe I could just get through the day, but the warm stream trickling down my leg is a big fuck no to that.

I’m trying to steady my breathing, the cup of tea I was making abandoned on the counter as I grip the edge with a force I didn’t know I had.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Hotch walks up, worry creasing his brow.

He places a hand on my back, a comfort as pain ripples up and down my spine.

I shake my head. “I need Spencer.”

I shift my weight from leg to leg. “And a towel.”

He nods his head, looking around for a chair, frowning when he comes up empty.

“Aaron,” I say, turning my head towards him. “Please go get my husband.”

“Right.” He nods, taking a second to make sure I wasn’t going to topple over before almost running towards Penelope's bat cave.

A hiss escapes my mouth as I feel a jab in my side.

“Yeah, I know baby, I wish he would hurry the fuck up too.”

A plethora of footsteps fall upon my ears, and Spencer immediately places a hand on my lower back, taking hold of mine with his other.

“How far apart are they?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’m fine, honey, thanks for asking.” I say as we start to make our way towards the front glass doors.

He gives me a look and I sigh.

“I don’t know. I thought if I didn’t count they’d go away and I could pretend this isn’t happening at work.”

“I wish it worked like that.” JJ laughs, holding open the door and what I presume is my go bag.

“Me too.” I grit, squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“Remember our deal. Not one statistic, or fact is to be uttered from your mouth today. You are not a doctor once we enter the hospital.”

I can see the panic start to form on his face, but he laughs.

“Yes ma’am.”

~~~

I’m never doing this again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain before.

I’ve been in this room for what feels like forever, because she’s taking her sweet time being early.

No amount of pillows or soothing rubs can help the aches that are washing over me.

My hair is falling from the bun I threw it up in, sweat coating every inch of skin I have.

I feel gross in every sense of the word.

I lean forward and groan as another contraction rips through me.

How do women do this?

Spencer brushes some hair out of my face and lays a cool washcloth on my neck as I grip the side rails of my bed.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

It feels like I can’t breath.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He knows there’s not much he can do right now to help, but he holds my hand, trailing his hand up and down my back.

“Just a little bit longer. I promise. She’s almost here. You’re doing so good, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”

If only he knew about the panic flowing through my veins, the thoughts that I’m not ready to be a mom bouncing around my skull like an insistent headache.

A knock at the door, and my doctor walks in, smiles and bright eyes. “How are you feeling, y/n?”

“Like a,” I groan, trying to move away from the pain, shifting forward and backwards. “Like a million bucks.”

She laughs, and I don’t have the energy to be nice and laugh with her.

“Well, I still need to check, but I’m pretty sure you’re ready to push.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to look as she sticks her fingers in a place that will need some R&R after this. 

“I was right. You’re ready. Now, your body knows exactly what to do. It’s best to not fight it, and just listen to what it’s telling you okay?”

I start to move myself back away from her, my breathing picking up pace.

I can’t do this.

“No. No. I can’t. I’m not ready.”

She doesn’t seem phased at all, but Spencer easily notices the fear in my voice. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Look at me.” His hands stroke the sides of my face, and his fingers are wet from my tears and sweat.

I shake my head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not ready. What if I fail? I don’t want to fail her. I can’t. No. I’m gonna be a horrible mother.”

“Y/n, baby, breath with me.” He takes my hand, and places it on his chest.

I can feel his breaths beneath his breastbone, the frantic heartbeats that give away his true state of mind.

I hate that I’m stressing him out.

“You are going to be a great mother. One of the best. I don’t think you could fail even if you tried.”

He brushes my tears away. “But you can’t force your body to stop. You need to let go. I’m right here.”

“Alright, were ready, y/n.”

My eyes pass between Spencer’s and I know he’s right.

I just need to let go.

I nod, and I move back to where I was. 

My left hand grips the rail, while my right is situated inside Spencer’s. 

I feel the next contraction start. 

“Alright I need you to push for me.” 

I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, but I take a breath and let my muscles do the work.

I hear that groaning and screaming can actually help, so that’s what I do. 

With every push, my voice grows louder, words lost in the back of my throat.

But I’m getting tired, and I can feel myself crashing. 

So when another contraction pulses through me, I push myself forward, and use every muscle in my body.

“Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!” 

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud, but it seemed to work.

It felt like a gush and then crys fill the room.

I fall back onto the bed, tears streaming down my face.

“She’s beautiful!” I hear my doctor say over her screams.

Spencer kisses my forehead, his own tears coating his face. “You were amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Here she is!”

My doctor lays a bundle of white blankets onto my chest, and when I see her face, my heart stops. 

The world could be burning around me, but I wouldn’t care. Even covered in gunk and red faced, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 

I sob, holding her close to me, Spencer right there beside me, his hand gently stroking the top of her head. 

“Hi, Ettie.” I whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, his voice thick with emotion. 

I can’t take my eyes off her. I never want to let go of her.

Nothing else matters anymore, nothing but her.

Juliet Diana Reid.

Born at 6:08 am, on the third of December.

He places her in my arms, and I clutch her close to my chest as I move back towards her crib to lay her down again.

I don’t understand how I could have ever doubted how amazing my life would be with her in it.

Soft snores emit from her small mouth, and Spencer wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, only moving when he hears me sniffle.

“Why are you crying, love?” he whispers

I wipe my face, turning around so I can face him.

His hands are on my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin.

“For so long, I was jealous of so many people.” My hands play with the fabric of his t-shirt, rubbing it between my fingers.

“I was jealous of Heather. Of what she had.”

My hands move up his chest, coming to rest at the base of his neck. 

“I dreamed about this. About having this with you. And I never thought I would get it. But here I am.”

I smile up at him. “I have everything I have ever wanted. I wouldn’t wish for another life even if it was offered. I have you, and Ettie, and the life I wanted so bad. I’m just…”

I swallow the noise threatening to spill from my throat, so I don’t wake up the sleeping girl behind me. 

“I’m just really happy is all.”

He smiles softly down at me, and he brings up a hand to cup my cheek. 

He leans down and kisses me slowly, gently, in a way that always leaves me paralyzed. 

“I love you.” He whispers. 

I nuzzle my nose against his, before laying my head against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him. 

“I love you, too.”

I love you, Spencer.

I love you.

Permanent Tag List: @criminalcow @pinkdiamond1016​​​​ @eternityofaxiom​​​​ @you-had-me-at-hello-dear​​​ @marvels-gurl​​​ @theamuz​​​​ @write-from-the-heart​​​ @sungieeeeeee​​​​ @mjloveskids666​​​​ @chococerealmilk​​​ @itzsoff​​​​ @gia-kerks​​​​ @doctorspencereid​​​​ @imsuperawkward​​​​ @andreasworlsboring101​​​​ @itsmoony​​​​ @cielo1984​​​​ @heistmaster69​​​​ @nevvvv​​​​ @theseuscmander​​​​ @complementaryvacuum​​​​ @waywardswain​​​​ @lindaze​​​​ @urie-bowie-mercury​​​ @spencerreidsimptime​

Heather Tag List: @drsoftboyreid​ @racerparker​ @avaholcombe @rodgertayloroof @stephanieisgay330​​ @swiftspaperings​​ @rainsong01​​ @darthseph​​ @liaabsurd​​ @tracyn910 @holypicklelightnickel​​ @pianofirepirate​​ @radtwinkie @madcrazy50​​ @bweakmybonez​​ @constantlywishingonstars​​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​​ @expressiodepressio @flannelpjpants​�� @x-midnight-violets-x​ @kwyloz​​ @todaynotseen​​ @caitlin-f @mylovehes​​ @yoongi-holland​​ @vamp-army​ @realimbo​​ @stardream14 @magicbeanssss​​ @jessaminelovelace​​ @darthvadersturd​​ @nikkilikewhoa @mellifluouswildbluebells​​ @lex-rodgers-sheild @crist1216​​ @voguekristen​​ @doctorspencrreid​​ @girlwithcrocs​​ @harryscherrymoon​​ @cherriesnwatermelons​​ @heyitssomegirl101​​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​​ @colorfulsunflowerx​​ @falcon-arrows​ @hereforbeebo​​ @legallyplatinumblonde​​ @thatsonezesty13​

[katya-goncharov]

the story of how i got into supernatural: a detailed account in 20 steps

1. i had never heard of this show. i'd watched a couple of sarah z videos on other fandoms and looked through tumblr heritage posts because i thought it was funny, but i didn't have tumblr and i had no idea or dean or cas were

2. november 5th happened i guess and youtuber sarah z made a video reacting to it. i was like, huh. that whole situation is really funny actually

3. youtube started recommending me more videos of people reacting to the love confession. i was intrigued by that point so i watched, like, all of them

4. youtube recommended me the clip of THE love confession. i thought, Wow those guys are old i thought they were teenagers or something

5. i watched the whole of the confession scene and thought, Well this is clearly a very bad and homophobic show i SHOULDN'T get invested in it... but this is the most fucking romantic thing i've ever seen LOOK at those guys i don't know anything about them but i love them and i just want them to live happily ever after together!!

6. i watched the confession scene over and over and over again like some kind of obsessive freak. i didn't know it yet, but i was already lost

7. the finale was about to air and i suddenly found myself really really hoping that it would end happily for cas (i still didn't know who he was but i'd got attached to that angel by that point okay?) also i'd never been queerbaited before so i assumed supernatural was a normal show and of COURSE cas was only temporarily dead and of COURSE him and dean would get a happy ending!!

8. i was planning to just watch people's reactions to the episode on twitter but my heart was actually already pounding like mad that whole afternoon. and THEN some youtuber posted a link to where british people could watch the episode live so i thought, fuck it, i want to see these guys get their happy ending first-hand

9. i tuned in AT 2AM and i'd heard that it was a 2-hour special. at like 10 past 2 youtuber sarah z made a tweet implying that the finale was NOT going to end positively (because it aired early in canada or something?). i started to get this very very bad feeling in my gut but i then i thought, pffft, it goes on for 2 hours so she won't have seen the ending yet!

10.some vamp-mimes were kidnapping these kids' parents or something? i started wondering how they were going to fit rescuing cas into this narrative but there was plenty of time there was ple-

11. DEAN. GOT FUCKING IMPALED. ON A RUSTY FUCKING NAIL

12. there was still plenty of time because it was a 2 hour special it WAS even though the cw tv schedule said it was ending at 3 (in my time) but it was a 2 hour special that one website i read said it was a 2 hour special so it was going to get fixed there was plenty of time and they'd bring dean back and rescue cas and -

13. the episode ended.

14. it was 3am and i was an absolute fucking WRECK and i was like, what? queerbait DOES exist by talos ect this can't be happening how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15. i went to bed at 5am after crying for 2 hours and thinking how much worse it must be for ACTUAL fans of the show

16. i thought fuck it i'm done with this show this is a terrible show i'm done with it time to stop thinking about it

17. i did not stop thinking about it

18. i was in serious denial and i kept thinking maybe they'll be SOMETHING SOME little glimmer of hope somehow some miracle i'm clearly in pandemic-induced madness it won't happen but maybe MAYBE -

19. DEAN. TOLD CAS. HE LOVED HIM TOO. BUT ONLY IN SPANISH

20. i woke up and twitter and tumblr had gone insane and i clicked on tumblr immediately and went to the supernatural tag and kept hitting refresh again and again and i did not leave that site for the entire day and.

well. here i am. eleven fucking months later

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color. 

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain. 

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them. 

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself. 

Okay. 

Alright. 

No distractions. 

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal. 

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way. 

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. 

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them. 

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again. 

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two. 

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too. 

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat. 

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?” 

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times. 

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us. 

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second. 

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one. 

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?” 

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents. 

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing. 

Flash nodded. 

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started. 

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god. 

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp. 

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake. 

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition. 

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

Tag List: If you’d like to be tagged, send me a(n) ask/message or reply* to this post!

*Notice: If you reply, I may not respond back; if you need/want confirmation, send me an ask/message instead :) Also, there are a few blogs whose tags aren’t working and I haven’t been able to contact them. For the time being, I removed most of the dead tags. If you weren’t tagged and should have been, or if you’ve changed your url, send me a quick message and I’ll put you on my message list!

Tagged: (If I’m missing anyone, send me a message!) @spideymood @solarspidey @tiffanypooh @carrotsunshine @breebree1198 @idontlooklikereginageorge @stumb1ing @bit-bot0711  @justthatshortlittlenerd  @avzuzu   @melonmochi   @happysynonym @the-redthread  @i-love-superhero @ohgloryyy-blog @nicunty @pxrrished @shugr12110629 @realitykilledtheteen@thehanneloner @lionfart   @tryn25 @slythergirlimagines@twentyjuanpancakes @littlekay15  @hi-mishamigos @eversweet-imagines  @thisisthetragicstoryofme @augurydemon@daisy-john @siriuspadfoot14 @debiwolf-t @casual-vaporwave@swimmeranxiety @dangerousluv1   @ghosthiam @homecomjng @deep-thoughts-in-the-shower @bughead-isendgame @qu3en-of-letters @brightcolorsoffendme @cutehollands @enoumen-t @dottirose @justthatshortlittlenerd  @thatgirlthatlikesmarvel@moonofmy-life @royal1958  @ashleyhearto   @pinkleopardss @cutie1365  @spideyschmood @dragoste-lunes @peterparkley @gold-masks @stonesandskeletonbones @myhealingstar  @a-typical-antisocial-fangirl   @love-and-protect-bucky-barnes@fangirldreamsandstuff  @fandom-stuff @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @jellzu  @aussie-mantle@stevieboyharrington  @septicquill @thingfromlove  @dude-whatawave   @me-a-hopeless-romantic @condy-wants-a-cookie @susurrantsoul  @kawaii-girl-101  @lxstneverfound  @ukulele-tea-and-ocean @tepidtrash @emilymarie0422 @styles-bucks@shortstack-ofpancakes @lilbeatlebear @imyourdadssideblog @the-introverted-loner-art @marvelcuties @lesdragly @atomic-chickenwings  @reanne @schwankyblock @nedthegay @kateelyse96@outsider-underwater @omg-lexiloveyou @le-yona  @desteweirdo@thingfromlove @madasameg @bookish-and-shy @lowkeyfriggason @arya-and-sansa @hot-pocket01 @icantthinkofanyusername0 @ajkenwo

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Some Say

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I will find the time, we will find the timing 'Cause you are on my mind, I hope that you don't mind it

And I know it might sound stupid but for me, yeah yeah I just gotta keep believing and I've heard

Some say you will love me one day And I will wait, I will wait to get your loving one day Just say you will love me one day And I will wait, I will wait to get your loving one day

click here to be on the update list

                                                I felt my heart threaten to jump out of my chest as we both stood motionless. Niall's eyes met mine and I shook my head slightly.

"No..." I whispered, suddenly finding back the use of my legs and taking the few steps separating me from the buttons. "Fuck, no."

I started hitting all the buttons as my heart was racing until I felt Niall's presence next to me. He put his hands over mine to stop me and grabbed my fingers, pulling gently on them to make me turn around.

"Devon.."

I looked up in his eyes and for a reason I ignored, it calmed me immediately. I blinked a few times, barely believing that once again, I was stuck somewhere with Niall, and I was starting to wonder if it wasn't a joke from fate. Someone out there was probably having a laugh from locking us together and I just closed my eyes and sighed.

I was trying to sober up but it wasn't easy, and when I opened my eyes again, I could swear I saw anxiety the way Niall was looking at me. He gripped my fingers tighter and all the anger I felt towards him faltered, almost disappearing.

"Okay, I'll call Lewis."

He let go of my hands, making my arms fall on each sides of my body as I watched him. Quickly, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, almost drpping it, and composed a number after putting his phone on speaker. It took half a minute for Lewis to answer, and I was feeling more and more nervous with every ring.

"Maaate, where are you? It's complete darkness here! Even the lights outside are off."

Niall glanced up at me before looking back down at his phone and licked his lips. I didn't know if it was the alcohol running in my veins but I ended up staring at his mouth for way too long and took a step closer.

"Okay you need to call your landlord, I'm literally stuck in the elevator." Niall quickly explained, ignoring everything his friend told him.

"You are?" Lewis asked before bursting into laughter. "What were you even doing there?"

This time, Niall looked up in my eyes and his lips parted. "I'm.. I'm here with Devon."

"Wait wait, you're stuck in the elevator with Devon?"

Once again, he started laughing so loud I actually moved my upper body slightly back, as if it would change anything. Niall just rolled his eyes and sighed, waiting for him to stop laughing.

"Come on, just call your landlord will you?"

"Everyone here started doing nasty things everywhere in the dark." Lewis added with a chuckle. "And Mandy is looking for you."

My heart dropped in my chest and Niall's gaze moved away from mine, avoiding it. "Lewis, you know I can't stay here okay, call someone. I don't care if it's the fucking police okay? You get someone to make that fuckin' elevator work again!"

Once again, his words hurt me more than they were supposed to. Was being locked with me that bad that he couldn't handle it even just a few minutes? Or was he just too impatient to go find Mandy?

"Yea yea, no worries, i'm on it. I'll text you about it." Lewis replied as I took a few steps back slowly and leaned again the wall. He started laughing again and I heard Niall sigh for a second time. "I can't believe you're stuck there with Devon! This is the most hilarious shit that happened tonight!"

I didn't understand why it was so funny but perhaps Lewis was just too drunk to be coherent, or I was too drunk to get the joke.

"Yea. Hilarious." Niall let out sarcastically.

"Oh hey mate while you're there, maybe you could tell Devon about-"

I held my breath when Niall took off the speakers and brought his phone to his ear before turning his back to me. It made me frown, wondering what Lewis was about to say that was so bad that Niall didn't want me to hear. Was he asking Niall to tell me how much I annoyed him? If that was the case, it was clearly not necessary. I knew I had been annoying Niall since day 1 and I probably always would. It was true, he has actually been kind with me in the past 24 hours and I was still not sure why, but he had been rude and mean to me way more often than not. Of course, he had kissed me twice also, and those were moves I still didn't really understand.

"Shut up and get us out of here!"

He hung up quickly and turned back to me, his eyes now roaming on me as I leaned my head against the wall. "What was so funny?"

"Nothing. He's just pissed."

"Are you impatient to get out of here so you can go back to her and let her literally sex-kiss you in front of everyone?"

His lips curled slightly on the right in an amused smile. "Sex-kiss me?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

"Yea. Pushing her tongue so deep on your mouth and making sex sounds."

"Is that what she did back there?" he asked, his smirk growing as he took a step closer.

"You should know it. She's probably not the first or last girl you'll be having sex with." I pointed out rudely, making him lose his smile and frown.

"Okay, what does that mean exactly?" he asked cautiously as I nodded. "Are you slut-shaming me?"

His expression surprised me but I just shrugged. "Tell me I'm wrong."

He scoffed and shook his head, placing himself in front of me, forcing me to raise my chin up to look in his eyes. "So basically you think I sleep with every single girl I meet? That I just see a pretty girl and kiss her or bring her to my bed to shag her? You don't know shit about me but you just judge me and decide what kind of person I am by just looking at me?"

"She doesn't even have to be pretty." I pointed out, feeling my heart jump at my confession.

It took him a few seconds to understand and his face changed. His shoulders moved down and he seemed to relax slightly, closing his eyes for a few seconds and sighing again. When his eyes met mine, I could tell he knew I was talking about myself. I could read it in the way he was looking at me.

"For your information, Mandy is the only girl I slept with since... well, she's the only girl I slept with in over a year. Happy?"

No, I was not happy. The fact that he literally only had sex with her made everything even worse. It was impossible to shag someone for so long without developing some sort of feelings for them.

"Why did Lewis say you'd kill him if he accepted that I moved in with him?"

Niall turned around and grabbed his phone, checking to see if he got a text message. "Because Lewis is an idiot, that's why." he looked up and stared at me for a while. I could feel he was a bit angry at me and I was not sure why but I probably deserved it. "Why were you leaving?"

"Because." I just replied in a low tone, looking away.

I wrapped my arms around myself like this move could shield me from his words, from his questions, and from his eyes.

"Because what?" he insisted a bit louder. "I answer your questions now it's your turn!"

"Because you.. you kiss me! And you.. you press your body on me and, and and your cock is pressing on my thigh! And you pull away and leave like it didn't matter! Like you do that to random girls all the fucking time! And you like my instagram posts in less than a minute like you actually turned the fucking notifications on! And then you invite me here like we're friends or some bullshit like that! But this girl is all over you and she literally makes out with you in front of everyone!"

I felt my heart beat so hard in my chest that it throbbed all over my body. Normally, I'd be ashamed of all the things I had just thrown at him but at the moment, stuck in an elevator and totally drunk, I really didn't care. In fact, it made me feel better than I thought it would.

"You know you're making no sense right now."

"Oh shut up!"

We remained motionless and silent for a few minutes and he finally moved back to lean on the other wall, his arms crossed on his chest. I finally let myself slide down against the wall until my butt touched the floor and sighed loud.

"I don't do that all the time, okay." he finally talked. "It just... It just happened!"

"Twice?"

"Yes ok? It just happened twice!" I didn't answer but simply rolled my eyes and he continued. "And about instagram, well I just happened to be scrolling through it."

"Right."

I sighed low and closed my eyes, trying to empty my mind from all of this, but after a few minutes, I heard him curse low. I opened my eyes and he was crouching down, his face looking at the floor, and it made me frown.

"Niall?" I moved my head, trying to see him better. "Are you alright?"

I watched as he gripped the back of his head with his hands and let out a short groan as I felt my heart skip a beat. I crawled to him on my knees slowly and finally sat on my legs, tilting my upper body a bit. It was making me nervous and the fact that I was so drunk that everything seemed to be slightly moving around me didn't help.

"Seriously, Niall, what's wrong?"

"Lewis texted me and said that we may be stuck here for a while and I just..." he seemed panicked and held my breath. "I'm.. I'm claustrophobic okay?"

Out of anything he could have told me, that was one thing I didn't expect at all. I put my back straight again and my lips parted. I shook my head a bit and licked my lips before looking at his hands as they gripped his own hair.

"But we've been stuck together in places before..."

"The basement of the library was big, and there was a window in the bathroom." he pointed out very quickly.

So the reason he wanted to be out of here as soon as possible was not because he couldn't stand to be with me, or because he wanted to see Mandy. I felt extra guilty for thinking about that at that exact moment and shook my head, trying to get rid of that thought.

"What am I... what should I do? How can I help?"

He didn't answer, he just let himself fall on his butt, his legs spread, and leaned his head against the wall, his eyes shut. I placed my hand gently on his shoulder and his eyes fluttered open. He seemed so fucked I thought he could pass out.

"Hey, look at me, okay?" I whispered, raising my eyebrows. "We can breathe together. Okay?"

He blinked a few times and nodded. I searched for his fingers and grabbed them, licking my lips. I was getting nervous too, and I honestly had no idea what to do to help him.

"Nothing's gonna happen to us, okay? So when I squeeze your fingers, we slowly breathe in, and when I stop we breathe out."

"Okay."

"Okay."

We did this for a few minutes but stress was slowly invading me and after a while, he finally closed his eyes again.

"Help me change my mind, Devie, I need to think about something else than the fact that we're stuck here." he let out a bit louder.

"I don't... I don't know what to do." I admitted, feeling myself tear up at how powerless I was.

"Anything, just, do something!" he insisted, making my heartbeats accelerate suddenly.

That's when it happened. I just crashed my mouth against his. My lips pressed on his but after a few seconds, my body relaxed a bit and so did my lips. I closed my eyes and pulled away slowly, feeling extremely stupid.

"Why did you do that?" he asked as I opened my eyes again. My gaze softened despite myself when it met his and he shook his head a bit.

"I don't know." I admitted in a whisper. "It's the first thing that came to my mind."

"Do it again."

"What?" I breathed out, my eyes getting bigger.

"Do it again." he repeated just as low. "Please."

My lips parted and I started panting as my heart thumped hard in my chest, so hard that I felt like it wanted to escape. I moved closer again, tilting my head slightly and brushing my lips against his. Every single time I felt Niall's lips against mine, it was driving me insane, and now that we were both not only drunk but also in a crisis situation, I felt every single pore of my skin shaking. His lips were warm and wet and I kissed him a bit harder. I don't know what suddenly got into me but quickly, my lips parted his and I made the kiss grow deeper. I thought it would surprise him as much as it surprised me but it took only half a second for his arms to wrap around me before he pulled me closer. I moved my knees on each side of him as I felt his fingers sink in the skin of my back through my clothes. He tasted amazing and I let a whimper escape my lips without shame as I sat on him, grinding down against him. It made me feel so dizzy I started seeing yellow spots behind my eyelids and I knew it was not the alcohol this time. It was him. It was always him.

I slid my fingers in his hair just as one of his hands reached for the bottom of my shirt, slipping under it and reaching for my breast. My lips parted again and I whispered a low 'Oh my god' as I pressed my legs more on the sides of his thighs. His fingers grabbed one cup of my bra and pulled it down a bit. I felt his knuckles rub against my nipple and I kissed him again hard, shutting my eyes tight and barely controlling my own body anymore. I could feel my inner thighs throb even harder and I pressed myself on him again, feeling his cock swell between my legs.

That was not what I had expected at all but I didn't want to stop. It's only when I heard him whisper my name as his free hand traveled down my back to reach my ass that I snapped out of it. I moved away slowly, my lips still parted as i panted, and waited for him to open his eyes. We stared at each other and I finally licked my lips as he leaned his head back on the wall, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. "It probably didn't help you much."

He chuckled and his lips curled enough to show me his teeth as he shook his head slightly. "Actually, it did."

"Really?"

"Devie, it's hard to think about being locked in a confined place when your dick is hard."

I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh too, and his hand slipped out of my shirt to fall on my thigh. That position, I had dreamed of it since the first day I met Niall, and I didn't want to move away. He let his fingers trace a few shapes on my jeans and my eyes fluttered at how soft he was being with me. He brought his free hand and moved a lock of my hair behind my ear before letting one of his fingertips brush against my jaw and down my neck before sliding between my breasts. His hand finally reached for my other thigh and he squeezed both at the same time.

I couldn't pretend my inner thighs weren't throbbing anymore, but somehow, it was for an other reason. I had never been excited like that by someone being so soft and gentle with me but it made me want to kiss him again.

"Thank you." he whispered as one of his hands left my thigh to move behind my head.

He pushed me gently to him and I let him. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss him again and when my face got close enough to his, he kissed me softly and slowly a few times. I tried to remain motionless and eyes closed, focusing on the way his warm lips peppered tender kisses on my mouth as his fingers played in my hair. It was an incredible contrast with the last kiss we just had but I enjoyed it just as much.

"Niall, why do you-"

I was cut by the sound of his phone and he sighed as I moved back to give him space. He grabbed his phone on the floor and checked the message he had just received before looked back in my eyes.

"They'll put back the power any minute now."

As if on cue, the lights changed and the power came back. I remained sitting on him as the elevator brought us to the main floor and felt my heart sink in my chest. The moment was almost over and all that would be left of it would be the memory playing over and over in my head probably forever.

"Come on, Devie." he said in a low tone. "Let's get some fresh air okay? I really need it."

I nodded and got up in silence, holding out my hand to him to help him up too. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his jeans and we got out. It was still warm outside despite that time of the year and we started walking in silence. I kept glancing at him as we wandered around the streets and he was focusing on his feet, his hands in his pockets.

"Are you ever gonna share your story with me?"

Hearing his voice again made my heart jump in my chest. "My story?"

"Yes, You know about the girl who broke my heart, partly because of Louis." he explained, turning to look at me for a few seconds. "But you never told me who broke your heart."

I brought my arms around myself as a shiver crossed my back. I hadn't shared that with anyone but somehow, I wanted to share it with Niall. It's not that I felt like I owed him, it's just that if anyone could understand what it felt to be betrayed, it was him.

"When I started my second year at my old college, I met this guy... he was my professor and he was everything anyone could wish for. He was hot, smart and funny. Everyone was in love with him and I was head over heels." I scoffed and rolled my eyes at the thought. "He showed interest in me and I.. I couldn't  believe it, you know? With all the gorgeous, perfectly-shaped and sexy girls in that school, he still had picked me."

I could feel Niall's eyes on me and he started walking slower. I followed his pace and breathed in before sighing.

"So we started seeing each other in secret. I was.. in heaven. I thought it was real, you know? I thought we had something great, something epic. And someone caught us. So he denied me. He denied our story, and he broke my heart. I changed school because everyone knew, everyone talked behind my back, everyone pointed their fingers at me and whispered when I walked by. The person who caught us literally told everyone."

"That's shitty of them."

"It was my best friend." I admitted, raising my eyebrows and sighing.

"Ouch."

"Mmhm."

"So you really loved him? Your teacher?" Niall asked after he stopped walking and turned to face me.

I realized we were back in front of Lewis' apartment building and I swallowed hard. "Yes. But I was just one of the girls he slept with. Found out the hard way."

Niall took a step closer and I tilted my chin up to keep my eyes locked with his. Once again, he moved a lock of my hair behind my ear as one of his fell on his forehead. "He didn't deserve you."

"Just like your ex girlfriend didn't deserve you."

His lips curled slightly on the right in a mix of melancholy and softness and he finally sighed.

"Come on, Devie, let's go get a rest. We're both too drunk to drive and I'm exhausted."

[blueaura]

Lost and Found Ch. 4

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has liked or re-blogged this story so far. I really appreciate it. Sorry for the delay. This chapter is all Sam and Y/N. Dean will be back in the next one. As always, any tips or suggestions are welcome. Feedback would be amazing. Thank you and happy reading!

Summary: Sam and Dean meet a young hunter who is a little rough around the edges and they reluctantly take her under their wing. But she might be a little more connected to them that any of them realise.

Word Count: 1.7k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4

The door slammed behind Dean, leaving Sam and Y/N in silence in the motel room. She refused to look at him. She didn’t know what to do, how to act. Things had been going well. For the first time in years, her life was somewhat okay. She had even been having a great time hanging out with the Winchesters. Just her luck that it was all screwed to hell now.

The awkward silence continued as Sam finished patching himself up. She went back to looking at the floor, feeling guilty that Dean hadn’t even been able to patch Sam up properly.

This is why you can’t go with them. You will just end up hurting them. That’s what you do.

She forced herself to ignore her thoughts and looked for a distraction. Moving towards Sam, she slapped his hand away from where he was trying to wrap his ribs and took over. Just act normal, she decided. Nothing’s changed yet. Dean isn’t your fa- your anything. These guys are just reaching for something that isn’t there.

Sam observed Y/N as she continued her task, lost in her thoughts. He felt bad about just blurting his suspicions out loud instead of confronting Dean in private. Clearly, he had hit a nerve, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said softly. Y/N’s grip faltered for a second. She sharply exhaled but gave no response, almost done with the bandages. Sam tried again.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you –”

“You didn’t,” Y/N said sharply, “you didn’t spring anything because there is nothing to be sprung – or whatever. You’re wrong. So, Dean slept with my mom, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the only one! I don’t know why you have this idea in your head but it’s –”

She stopped and took a shuttered breath.

“It can’t be true. She told me he died. She told me he abandoned us. If this is true, that means she lied. She lied to me my whole life! When I was little, I dreamed about having a family. A family that loved me, that cared for me. Then I grew up, and I don’t want that anymore. So, I don’t want it to be true. It’s better that way, for everyone.”

She moved away from Sam as she finished patching him up. She could feel his eyes following her, the pity in them making her blood boil. She wasn’t broken. She was a survivor, dammit! And she didn’t need anyone’s pity.

“Stop,” she snapped at him, “Stop looking at me like you want to fix me!”

“I’m not!” Sam defended, “I just… I can’t imagine going through that. I mean, we didn’t have the best childhood but I always had Dean. He pretty much raised me. I don’t know where I’d be without him. I don’t pity you Y/N, I admire you. You’re stronger than I was – than I still am.”

She was speechless. Strong? He thought she was strong? The guy who fought the devil and won, who saved the world a hundred times over, thought she was strong? That was hilarious.

“I’m not strong, Sam. I can barely keep it together on a good day. If you knew some of the things that I’ve done…” she trailed off, averting her eyes.

“You think Dean doesn’t struggle? I don’t? Y/N, just the fact that you’re still going is enough to tell me what kind of person you are. You’re a fighter, and everything you’ve done, you’ve done to survive. You think I’m going to judge you? I’m not the most moral person around, in case you haven’t noticed,” Sam smiled wryly at her, urging her to look at him.

“Whatever you choose, or whatever happens, we won’t just abandon you. You know that, right?”

She saw the sincerity in his eyes and it tugged at her gut. She couldn’t figure out why they cared so much. They barely knew her. They certainly didn’t owe her anything, hell – Sam was hurt because of her. Even after she had tried to make Dean angry, they just wouldn’t let her be, and she couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why. So, she asked him.

“Why?” It was barely a whisper but Sam heard her anyways.

“Is it because you think I’m family somehow? And what happens when you find out that I’m not? I know you’re confident about your assumption. Is that why you both are so dead set on helping me? I don’t get it. I mean, I’m nobody.”

Sam sighed.

“No. I swear, this is half the reason I think you’re Dean’s daughter. You’re just so much like him. Neither of you understand your worth,” Sam said tiredly.

“Kiddo, you don’t need to be family for us to do the decent thing. In case you forgot, Dean offered you a place with us before we even made the connection between your mother and him. And yes, I was hesitant, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want you with us. I was concerned – we don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping our friends safe. I just didn’t want you to get caught up in something and end up dead,” Sam continued.

Y/N realized the truth in his words. Dean did offer to take her with them before they even found out how young she was.

“Also, you have so much potential. You’re a good kid and we happen to like you. It’s just that simple. Don’t overthink it,” Sam ordered, starting to figure out how her mind worked.

“I’m not overthinking. I’m just looking out for myself, I guess. I’ve met too many people who wanted to ‘help’ me before. They just pawned me off to the authorities the first chance they got. I don’t want that happening again, I’m fine on my own,” she reluctantly admitted.

Sam’s heart dropped. He’d heard the horror stories about foster care before, and from the way Y/N was acting, her experience didn’t seem to have been a pleasant one.

“We’re not going to do that kiddo, I promise,” Sam pleaded with her to believe him.

“And if I decide I don’t want to come with you guys? Will you leave me alone?”

“You know we can’t do that. I said we’re not going to hand to over to the CPS, I never said anything about letting you go off on your own. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, Dean wouldn’t let me. He gave you two options kiddo, you gotta pick one.”

He walked across the room to the mini-fridge and took out a beer. Walking back to the table, he twisted the cap off and took a drink before setting it down. Y/N eyed his beer and then the fridge, hoping to get one herself. It had been a long day. She started to move towards the fridge.

“Don’t even think about it.”

She glared at him but sat back down on one of the beds.

“I for one, would prefer if you came with us,” Sam carried on their previous conversation, “I know it’s dangerous, specially now, but leaving you with Jody doesn’t feel right. I’m sure Dean would agree. We won’t force you, of course. And even if you do choose Jody, Dean will probably want to check on you from time to time. So, you’re kind of stuck with us now kiddo.”

Sam was entirely to gleeful for her taste as he said his piece. Neither option sounded particularly delightful to her. Either way, she would have to submit to someone’s authority, which would be fine for a normal fifteen-year-old, but she was terrified of not having control. She’d probably also be made to join school again if she chose to go with Jody. The sheriff’s ward couldn’t exactly skip schooling. The thought of school terrified her. She hadn’t been to one in forever.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours,” Sam urged her to talk to him. He could see the building tension in her shoulders as she got lost in thought, and couldn’t figure out why she was so upset about them being in her life. They weren’t that bad.

“I don’t wanna go to school,” she blurted out, scratching at her rope-burnt wrists. Sam reached out and grabbed her hands, stopping the anxious action. He realised she still hadn’t treated them and went to fetch the medical cream and some bandages.

“Why?” he asked as he started in on her wrists.

“I – I don’t – I just don’t want to,” she was stuttering, which surprised Sam. She had never faltered once in the little time he’d known her. She came across as quite a confident young woman. Maybe they just didn’t know her very well, he realised.

“Okay,” he simply stated. “You don’t have to.”

He didn’t know why she was so opposed to school but he could take a guess. Her mom died when she was 11 and she had been on her own ever since. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she probably hadn’t seen the inside of a school in a while. Whatever it was, she was clearly bothered by it, so he would leave it alone for now. He didn’t want to give the poor kid more anxiety than she already seemed to have.

Y/N was still breathing fast as Sam finished with her wrists. He let go of her hands and gently put his own on either side of her face, urging her to look at him.

“You’re okay kiddo. You’re gonna be okay.”

The tears surprised her. She didn’t normally cry, but she’d had a hell of a day she supposed. So, instead of being embarrassed about crying like a little girl, something she detested normally, she threw herself into the gentle giant’s comforting arms, giving in to the overwhelming emotions she’d been through in the past few hours.

“Shh, it’s okay kid. Everything’s gonna be okay,” Sam consoled her, gently running his hand over her head as she burrowed herself into his chest.

If only she could believe him.

Chapter 5

TAGS: @vicmc624​ @buttercookiemachoman​ @carisi-sonny​ @zizzlekwum​

If anyone else wants to be tagged, please send me an ask (: Thanks for reading!

[ranmanjuu]

not a request but can you imagine oda forces trying to play smash against the anti-oda or they all play minecraft together

i’ll expose myself here. i have never ever played smash (although minecraft steve being announced is super pog) so i can’t tell ya that part bud. but i can with the blok game. (disclaimer that this request was made after i closed it yet my heart said No, you actually Want to do this so here i am. most probably will be short).

‎

welcome folks, to SengokuSMP.

oda forces:

—nobunaga:

would be the one that steals your iron and shit. commits thefts willy nilly, and no one is exempt from this. if he needs it, he’ll get it with or without your consent.

would kill an iron golem for the few iron it gives

before he got his own base (cause i think he’d just spend most of his time mining and getting materials to protect himself) he’s probably just barge in the nearest bed and sleep in it, regardless of the owner.

his base would probably be built by hideyoshi or sumthn.

he prefers playing pvp more than just survival. since mc placed a kind of restriction for the end (and therefore blocking them from completing the game), he goes onto servers and practice his battles even in a block game.

1.9 axe-shield pvp. he’s tactical in knowing when to strike and block and to back down, and is immaculate with his crits.

—hideyoshi:

probably spends the first few days around nobunaga to protect him. he always fights off the mobs near him even if nobunaga can handle himself.

always reminds people to sleep every night, so that the phantoms don’t come. even though a lot of the players prefer to just stay up.

built a base for nobunaga near his mine cause he needs A Place and not just mooch furnaces and beds from other people.

spawned iron golems for “protection” but nobunaga keeps killing them cause it just gets in the way

would be the one to make mines 4 blocks high so you don’t Bump your head thing, probably like 3 block width and even staircases. would also be the one to make a safety railing across any bridges he finds.

if an ally, he’d greet new players and give them some extra stuff so that they have Something to start off with

i feel like he’d be a pve player idk why

—mitsuhide:

no one knows where he is most of the time. nor his base.

unless you see his nametag (which, most of the time, he’ll see yours first) it’s kinda hard to find him when he’s off and alone.

mf is the black market of the server. whatever potions, potion ingredients, or shit like that, he has. he probably owns like several wither skulls enough to summon a wither.

he would sneak around when mc is mining and just like. scare the shit out of them. the cave noises don’t help.

(the newest screenshot hasn’t been released yet but,) y’all know the warden? the new mob? cause it’s reliant on sounds, if anyone is ever in its proximity he’d throw like snowballs at them so that it goes after them. little shit.

bow skills?? perfect. even in a game his accuracy is spot on. you know those obstacles people make with like slime blocks and maybe mlg 360s? mf can do that

he probably knows enough redstone to make traps, too.

somehow knows what everyone has/doesn’t have.

—masamune:

prank ass bitch.

he probably has like a Source of tnts in his base or something. if anyone is moving out of their old base, he’ll either blow it up or burn it, whether they wanted to or not.

fuck it. he’ll do it even if you’re not moving.

probably doesn’t often sleep and would rather fight off the phantoms than anything.

he probably wants to defeat the dragon quick, cause it’s supposed to be the game’s ultimate goal. but because of the previous restrictions you put, he just goes off and fights other players (cough kenshin, nobunaga)

and when he does kill you, expect like half of your items to not be returned.

also one of the casual thieves in the server. he just doesn’t care that it Belongs to someone and just yoinks

also a pvp player, although i find him leaning more to 1.8 style. he will jitter click you out of existence.

has dogs because idk he gives off that vibe also they Attack.

—ieyasu:

does not log on much lol. he got on once and then Never Again. it’s only when you ask him that he begrudgingly does get in in his own contrarian way.

definitely goes wayy far out for more isolation cause he doesn’t want to get caught up with whatever shit masamune has.

the only major thing he did besides mining and everything was that he got a cat. and almost no one knows about it, other than you because:

“ieyasu has made the advancement [Best Friends Forever]!”

“mc: :OOOOO!!!!”

yeah, you never told anyone.

the longest time that he logged in at first was probably when he found out that cats sleep in beds and just. sat there as the night goes by in his bunker just watching and hearing it purr. he’s a bit irritated when the others tell him to sleep, but then see that the cat went and slept on him that secretly made his heart soft.

and then you insisted on going to his base which took a considerable amount of time, and even with his denying, you decide to decorate and expand his base! you also got to name the cat, but you never knew since you just said like “i’d name it [...]!” and later ieyasu found a name tag and actually did name it that.

—mitsunari:

he doesn’t run a lot i don’t feel. primarily because he was wonky with the controls from the start.

i feel like he’d have the brain to be a redstone engineer. he spends more time like, making those cool machines than anything (probably those that’d help out everyone like an automated farm, etc.)

thing is he forgot that he could die, so most of the time he’s just starve to death without even noticing it.

much like in real life, he always forgets to sleep. and that’s why phantoms are his number 2 in his cause of deaths.

doesn’t have an actual base. hideyoshi built a small one for him, but mitsunari kind of never uses it and just logs off on the spot. at this point it just became a part of the main buildings for everyone or something.

he doesn’t do an awful a lot of collecting and often asks others for some. and when he is given it, he goes “thank you ^^ <3″ and does like the happy-shift thing. it’s honestly too cute for it to be just pixels.

probably knows a lot about minecraft stuff too, it’s just that he never uses any of it.

—ranmaru:

he was so excited the first time you told him that he was invited to the smp of sengoku warlords! would probably frequent the most.

i think he’d just vibe really. not exactly going extremely into pve or pvp or redstone or building, he plays it at a very slow place and more like an animal crossing player would.

like, he builds a small farm and stuff. it isn’t as efficient as mitsunari’s, but it is what it is. also has an animal pen with loads of one animal category and he tends to let people use it with the exclusion of some (coughs masamune) as long as they breed them again or something.

and while he doesn’t go for the big projects, he is kind of a builder? he has the Aesthetic sense while building his house and stuff yk. would maybe lean into the cute, cottagecore stuff.

favorite food in game is probably cake! it takes more effort than most other foods and it just looks cute so he likes making them.

totally has shaders on.

is scared shitless of cave noises at times. you could play 11 near him and he’d just straight up panic and log off.

‎

uesugi-takeda forces:

—shingen:

i find him to be maybe one of those builders that stick to large projects and stuff idk why

he does other things too, mainly pvp (he likes to just head over to nobunaga’s base and kill him sometimes. not that the man doesn’t accept the challenge). would probably also be more into 1.9 pvp because he’s a very calculative person in fighting. yes even in block game.

but the first thing he built once he’s set from collecting materials, was a “restaurant”. for what, you ask? why of course he takes you on a minecraft date. that was the top of his list the moment you even told him about the smp

once the others found out (which was not that long) he just started bragging. kenshin burnt down the building later on.

but he always escorts mc or some shit while spewing out his Lines in chat, sometimes doing the bow in game thing. in response, there are several barfs in chat, and a list of people coming to kill him.

mf likes to combat log on kenshin when he’s on a Killing Spree for the shits and giggles.

—kenshin:

first time you told him about it, he was very happy to learn something about mc’s modern times, even if it’s a children’s game. unfortunately, he didn’t know what an ‘smp’ meant.

so when he logged on and saw that there were Other people, his smile turned into a deadly frown as he just began punching them to death. he only stopped when they ran off and you intervened.

he tried having you stick around longer when you were giving him a tutorial of how to play the game.

at first he only collected material to get stronger. and by that only sword because he sees no need in getting armor (he doesn’t die in battle irl, he can’t die in a simple game). but WRONG cause he got killed by shingen who, even though he had a stone axe, had iron armor while kenshin got nothing but an iron sword.

he doesn’t make a base (why do so many here don’t make bases istg). in fact, he doesn’t log on much.

at first, he only goes on if mc is on. it’s only when he sees that mc appreciates some of the work the others have put into things (like shingen’s builds, mitsunari’s redstone, etc.) is when kenshin tries to Do Things Too and kinda fail.

this man kinda has no aesthetic sense in the block game. but you give him a for effort.

1.8 pvper. he can definitely do 1.9, but more the former mostly cause his deadly anger makes him jitter click like crazy. often challenges others (consented or not) which mostly includes masamune and nobunaga, and he often surprise attacks shingen and sasuke.

—yukimura:

honestly a normal player in survival.

he makes a decent house, has some pretty strong gear, and just helps around his allies a lot (mostly {try to} drag kenshin away from trouble, scold shingen for being too close to mc {though it’s a him problem ngl} and just being a messy caretaker).

i feel like he’d enjoy tekkit tbh. sasuke would probably introduce it to him and he’d just generally enjoy it.

but this is about the smp

he got lucky the first drowned he killed dropped a trident and it’s been his favorite weapon.

probably tried at one point to build kenshin a small base but he wouldn’t listen so like. shrugs.

he’s a bit iffy with playing alongside the enemies in the same server, but they are kind of divided into two. and mc did say it was just for fun and games and they didn’t want to see actual wars be dragged into this, so he just lets it go and has fun.

he looks forward to beating the enderdragon a lot, when the end is available.

—sasuke:

oh Boy he’s having a field day. his adored sengoku warlords? playing minecraft, his childhood game??? absolute pog.

even though it was you who proposed the idea, the one who set up the server in the first place was sasuke, since he has more knowledge on that stuff.

since he got his bearings quicker than the rest from experience, and he was earlier to log on due to testing and stuff, he mostly helps you with building like the main hub, like the center place for everyone and generally things that involve helping the overall smp.

can mlg water bucket, through a lot of trial and error. he uses it mostly to make dramatic entrances where he drops from a hill and just not take damage.

^ speaking of Dramatic Entrances, he probably has a chest full of ender pearls for those specifically.

although he helps a lot with guiding everyone, at times, he pulls out the ol’ “sleep in the nether :)” suggestion just to troll

ngl he’d stick to his ninja thing and successfully make a redstone-wired door and has his banger secret base in it

—yoshimoto:

the s in smp doesn’t exist to him.

he’s just a collector, really. one of his first priority isn’t even materials like stone, the moment he finds any kind of flowers he’ll pick it up. it’s only when yukimura and sasuke actually Give him shit does he start living a not broke life.

probably dies a lot to mobs and stuff

but like legit, this man spent a long time collecting all 13 discs and almost every flower (yes, even the biome only ones) because he wants to take it all in. nevermind the fact that he can just listen to the discs online and all.

he’s immaculate in his aesthetics. even with just wood he makes his base look really cool ngl. 

some parts of it are plastered with every painting there is in minecraft, or just item frames, or flowers in their pots. every decoration you can think of, lamps, campfires, even armor stands, he has them.

you gotta give him credit, it’s a lot of effort.

he often afks just to listen to the music even though, again, he could just listen to it online.

got into a bit of a spiel with ranmaru, since he unknowingly dyed a lot of his sheep (he did categorize it with color though). and so they made an agreement to just have every color sheep, and put them in different pens. so they just shared it now

he saw the cave updates and went silently bonkers because how pretty some look (like the lush caves? hello??)

he has like. 14+ texture packs and 4 different shaders ready at his settings.

[itsreigns]

Blurred Lines - Part 11

Henry Cavill x Reader

Henry especifically told (Y/N) that he didn’t do relationships. But lines get blurred. And crossed.

Warnings: Slight AU. Angst. Fluff.

Words: 1,401

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

Cavill Squad: 

@heelsamizayn​ | @tryingtofindaplaceinthisworld​ | @shadow-of-wonder​ | @moxleysbaby​ | @bull-moose-penguin​ | @xxsirensong​ | @tinychemicals​ | @agniavateira​ | @aaescritora​ | @aphrodites-punch​ | @elinalfrida​ | @thiccgeralt​ | @magdelen69​ | @littlefreya​ | @isharemydeathdaywithfeanor​ | @the-freak-cassie-131​ | @softchocomilk​ | @the-other-ramsey | @omgkatinka​ | @meinetassetee​ | @winchwm​ | @lamuchacha-potosina | @spideysimpossiblegirl​ | @ravenpuff02​ | @thejemersoninferno​ | @maan24 | @coffeewithjake | @matsumama​ |

I can’t believe this is happening to me. This is not how I dreamed of discovering that I was pregnant. 

I pictured us, discovering I was pregnant together, after some suspicion. I pictured Henry with the biggest smile ever sprawled on his face, with emotion in his eyes. I pictured him pressing kisses into my barely noticeable belly whispering fluffy things to our baby. 

Now this… This is not how I planned on telling the father. This is an absolute trainwreck. 

With sobs running through my body, I can’t even bring myself to look at Henry, to stare into his clear blue eyes. I can’t bare to see the look of deception and anger, that he almost surely has on his face. 

“Baby, talk to me. What is going on? Why are you crying?” He insists, his voice soft and supportive. When I don’t reply, he sighs heavily.  “Is it because the test was negative? Or because it’s positive?”

I only cry harder, full on panic attack mode now as I bury my face in my hands. He lets me cry for as long as I need, pressing soft kisses against my hair and holding me. I cried even harder when I thought of how this could be the last time I’d have the chance to enjoy his embrace, his affection… just like this with him. 

I couldn’t bare with that thought. It killed me inside. So I just let myself cry. And he held me every single minute of my breakdown, with no questions asked, no judgements. 

After a while, he pulls back slightly finally facing me after God knows how long. He stares at me for a bit, taking in all my features: my red and puffy eyes, my cheeks wet from the tears. And he didn’t even budge. 

He just looks at me so lovingly, I feel like crying all over again. “Feeling better?” Henry asks, cradling my face in between in his hands gently, making me lock my gaze with his. I can’t maintain it for a long time, though. 

“I’m so sorry.” I let out another sob, coughing a bit as I’m still trying to control my breathing. 

“Love, it’s ok. We can try again. It will be fine.” He whispers, rubbing my back soothingly. 

That makes me fully stop my actions. Whatever it was that I was doing, I couldn’t even tell for sure. My brain froze once those words left his plump lips.

“Try again?” I mumble shakily, looking intently at him, trying to read him. He’s silent for a bit, as if rearranging his thoughts. 

“Yeah. For the baby.” He clarifies, sighing before continuing. “It’s ok to feel like this. It’s ok and it’s normal that you had your hopes up. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s ok. And it will be ok.” He stops for a bit, letting what he just said sink in. “It’s negative this time. When the right time… when our time comes, it will be positive and it will be the best time of our lives. And we-”

“It’s positive.” I cut him off in a rush of courage.

“What?”

“I said… it’s positive.”

I could almost see the gears in his brain running in high speed, and I was scared shitless. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Maybe all he just said was just precisely that… something he said. It took him about five seconds to say something, but they seemed three years to me. 

“Are you serious?” He asks, his features unreadable. I nod affirmatively, biting my lip and closing my eyes. “Really? Oh my God, I’m going to the be a Dad?”

As soon as those words leave his lips, with that cheerful tone, I open my eyes and look at him. He’s smiling so wide, even his eyes are smiling and shining with happiness and emotion. My heart is bursting with emotion and love. I hug him so tight, hiding my face in the crook of neck, and he hugs me back, pressing light kisses into my shoulder. He is so happy with the news. Now, I feel terrible for not trusting him and for being so scared of his reaction. 

But then, he pulls back and the smile had faded from his lips, his face’s grown serious. “But… if it’s positive, then why were you crying? You don’t want… the baby? Or you don’t want the baby... with me?”

No, no, no. He’s getting it all wrong. Why do I have to complicate everything every time? Why do I always have to be so anxious? Why do I have to overthink so much and suffer before things actually happen?

“No! It’s nothing like that. You’re getting it all wrong.” I shoot, with my trembling voice, rubbing my hands down my face. I’m feeling nervous all over again and desperately trying to organize my thoughts so I don’t say the wrong thing and ruin everything. Yet again. 

“Then enlighten me.” He says simply. I can tell by the look on his face that he is as nervous as I am, and definitely slightly disappointed. 

“I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’m thrilled, I really am… I just… I let fear take over me. I was terrified you’d hate me. Leave me. That you wouldn’t want this. A baby.” I gesture down to my belly, sighing heavily. “A baby, right now… We haven’t even talked about it. We’re taking things slow, letting everything flow, and now…”

“And now, we’ve let things flow and life has awarded us with a baby. Must mean something, don’t you think?” He cuts me off, the sweet smile back on his face as he cups my hand with his. “If there’s anything I’ve learned on the last couple of years, it’s that everything happens for a reason. Every choice I’ve made, every road I took… It led me here, to this moment. And I’m happy. Creating a life with you, a family, brought me back to life.” He continues, his eyes filling with some unshed tears as his smile gets even wider. “I’m ecstatic with these news, baby. I’m so excited and I can’t wait to meet this tiny little human we created together, with so much love.”

Well, his speech opened my tears’ gates again. This time from happiness, genuine and raw happiness. He cradles my face gently, forcing me to look in his eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much.” He whispers against my lips, right before he kisses me passionately. 

I can feel all his love from his touch and his kiss. I was dry without love, but he was overflowing, so now I’m drowning in it. And there’s no better feeling in this world.

Once we pull back, we giggle noticing the goofy smiles we both have plastered on our faces. Smiles of pure bliss and happiness. 

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life, Henry. Thanks to you. Thank you for putting up with me and all my breakdowns, flaws… I truly love you.” I declare my love for him, he deserved to hear it and I needed to say it. 

“I’m here for you, baby. Always was, always will.” He reassures, pecking my lips softly a couple of times.

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask excitedly as we walk to our bedroom, sitting down at the bottom of the bed. 

“What if it’s both?” He laughs, caressing my belly for the very first time.

“You want twins?” I ask incredulously, matching his laugh once he nods affirmatively. Then, I couldn’t take my gaze off his hand that’s still over my small bump. “Ok, and what would be their names?”

“The boy’s name will be… Thomas.” He informs me, very confidently. 

“I love that name! It was on my top 3 list of babies’ names I’d love for my kids.” I smile widely as I see that we are in complete synchrony. “And the girl?”

Then, he grows silent. I can tell he’s already picked up the name, but he’s afraid to say it. And I’m sure I know which name it is. So, I place my hand on his thigh soothingly, and he looks up at me. His eyes filled instantly with unshed tears. In that moment, he knew that I knew. 

“I love it, Henry. Kathleen is a beautiful name.”

Give me feedback???

Part 12 ???

[spidxysense]

Back to You | 12

Summary: He broke your heart, but you’d always love him. Two souls that not even the universe could tear apart, even if you wanted it to at times.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Timothee Chalamet

A/N: THIS TOOK SO LOOOOOOOOOOOONG TO UPDLOAD!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh, I spent the past 2 days trying to upload this from my mobile data whih is honestly so slow when I’m on tumblr, luckily our internet got fixed today. Hope all of you are well during this time and stay indoors guys! Now that I’m just at home, I’ll be sure to write more. I just finished Never Have I Ever, and I loved the series soooooooooo much!!!! Do you guys have any suggestions of shows like that?? I know it’s a bit short but I plan on making the chapters shorter so it’s easier for me to finish a chapter, lol. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO PATIENT! and I just want to let you guys know that this isn’t the end of Back to You yet! It’s just the end of the Italy arc of it all. I love you guys! As always, let me now what you think ! <3<3<3

Word count: 1,915

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

----------------------------

You wake up back in your room, on your bed but still in last night's clothes. You don't see your phone anywhere near you so it must be out in the living room somewhere. You get up, stretching then changed in more comfortable pajamas as you head out to the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

"Armie." You grin with a sleepy daze on your face as you greet the older actor, but unlike any other time, he doesn't grin back or even call your name in greeting. Instead, he swallows whatever was in his mouth, pushing the chair in front of him forward with his foot.

"We need to talk."

You'd never heard Armie sound like this so you immediately follow his orders.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, a classic stressed Armie movie. He must have been bothered by something, perhaps something that you did?

"Listen Y/N, I really thought we reached an understanding back at the hike…" he sighs again, "But I'm almost done with filming and will be heading back to LA for a new movie after this so I won't even have time to contact either of you two and I can only hope for the best, but I have to tell you Y/N, as much as I like you. You're being very selfish." 

You feel your mouth go slightly agape as Armie's words sink in, "Do you notnunderstand how much you've been hurting Timothee? Choosing your ex over him? Leaving him alone with an old friend of the two of you who Timothee doesn't even know? He got here at 7 PM, Y/N. He sat around doing nothing and waited for you while you were off with your ex."

"Armie, you don't understand, it's not that simple-"

"Bullshit, it's not that simple." He hits the table in frustration, "I told him yesterday to get some rest, to forget about you because there are other girls out there, but he still waited for you. How could you do that to him?"

His eyebrows were furrowed, "How could you hurt this boy who has done nothing but show you that he understands you and is willing to wait for you? How could you just let this guy who's so willing to be hurt if it's for your sake, be hurt by you?"

You feel the tears fall from your eyes as you blink, "Armie, I'm sorry, I'm such a jerk. Thimothee should hate me-"

"Yeah, yeah you are a jerk." His voice falters, "and don't tell me you're sorry. Tell that to Timothee, you owe it to him at the least. Tell him how you feel and what you've decided." He looks at you for a second as you contemplate asking him where Timothee is, "He left earlier to pick up your ex and his friend to take them to the train station. They got an earlier ticket."

You rush to your room, get dressed and bolt out the house, grabbing your phone from the coffee table, as you run out the street to hail a cab.

You sit in the cab agitated as you unlock your phone, bombarded with texts and calls from a mixture of Timothee, Haz, and Tom.

You told Tom last night you'd give him an answer, so this is what you were finally going to do. You grab a fistfull of money from your pocket and shove your hand through the middle of the cab, not caring if you paid too much and you bolt out of your seat and onto the train station.

You spot the pale blonde boy among a sea of people by the baggage dropoff and you grab hold of his shoulders, "Where's Tom!?"

Haz blinks at you in surprise, "Y/N! Thank god. He was gonna wait for you and our departure is in 30 minutes, you need to talk to him. He's by the ticket booth."

You push past people, tears in your eyes growing heavy as you see him. Eyes red and swollen probably from crying too.

"Y/N!" He calls out for you looking relieved, reaching his hand out for you to take.

You clasp on it tightly, "Tom." You wipe the tears in your eyes with the sleeve of your free arm, "I'm here to tell you."

He bites his bottom lip, noticing your lack of bags, "Y/N. Let's fix it, let's fix us." He grabs both your hands and he rests his forehead on yours, "Let's leave all this bullshit behind, let's finally start our family and live like normal people. We can travel the world."

You shut your eyes, relishing in Tom's atmosphere, "Tom, you love your job." You sigh, "And just because having a normal, quiet life is something I've always wanted, doesn't mean that's what you need to want too." You sigh, "Why did you come here?"

The tears spring to his eyes, "Because I don't want to be without you, Y/N. And this was my last chance. I was so willing to leave everything behind because having everything without you would just be nothing." He clutches your hands tight, "Because after this, I don't know if I can ever even talk to you again. Because I decided to choose you over this life that I worked so hard for, because my management team in Marvel is making me do something that means I can't talk to you anymore and you're going to end up hating me for it and I can't live with that and I can't live without you. Because, I-I want to choose you, and I'd choose you over and over and over again. Because I want to be with you…" he trails off, "But that isn't what you want, is it?" His smile is sad but understanding, a true love.

You shake your head gently, "Tom, we were perfect even in the ways we weren't but I have to see where things end up with Timothee. He was there for me. I need to live a life without you in it to live for myself." You hold his cheek in your hand, "And I love you. I always will, but now isn't the time for us. I want you to choose your dreams over me. Right now, we have to live our own lives without each other. I can't have you throwing your dreams away because of me. And I've needed you and leaned on you for so long that it took me this long to realize I have to live without you to learn to be who I am. Timothy's like me. He needs me… and I needed you. But I need to live a life where I don't any more." 

He sighs, accepting your decision, slowly bringing his face to yours as your tears mixed with his in a tender kiss. He breaks apart first, leaning his forehead against yours again, "Bye Y/N. I really hope we find our way back to each other one day." 

You embrace him tight as the sob reverbitates through your body, "Bye Tom. I love you. I always will." You kiss him on the cheek, letting him go as he boards the train, leaving you on the platform looking vulnerable with your long sleeves covering your hands as you clutched them together, you kiss you fingers lifting that same hand to say goodbye, and the train moves on, farther and farther until you couldn't see it anymore and there weren't anymore people on the platform.

You walk out the station, already recognizing the mop of brown curly hair and you sit next to him quietly.

"I saw you, running out the cab, even when you took out all your money and gave it to the guy and I thought, how the hell does this goober think she's getting home?" He chuckles.

You look at him quietly, "With you." You answer surely.

Timothee's laugh is cut short.

You turn to face him, "Because you're always there for me, and you always will be."

He tries to look at something else aside from your face but you grab his face in both of your hands and make him look at you.

"How could I not?"

You speak quietly, "You should hate me."

He sighs, "But I don't." He rolls his eyes playfully, "And I never could." 

You sigh, "But you should. Because I've treated you like crap since Tom got here and I've been so unfair to you. You should scream at the air and then at me because I've done nothing but hurt you, and you should tell me that you want nothing to do with me and tell me you hope that you don't meet anyone like me ever again. You should call me a bad person, because I am and a user because I've always taken advantage of you being nice to me. You should tell Luca how terrible of a person I am and maybe, just maybe he'll write me out of the movie so that you at least don't have to see me for the rest of filming. You should hate me for everything I've done to you." You sob.

His hand reaches out to grab your own, pulling you down so you were sitting next to him, "I don't want to scream at you. I normally wouldn't but given that look you're giving me while you're crying your eyes out, I especially don't want to. Who cares if I've gotten hurt? We're actors, we have to feel things for the sake of our art." He wipes the tears from your cheeks, smiling sadly, "And if I let you go now, then I really don't meet anyone like you ever again and I don't want that. You aren't a bad person, Y/N."

"But I am!" You cry, "You don't deserve what I've been doing to you-"

"I don't care." He shrugs, "Simple as that, I don't care if you hurt me, make me into your punching bag for all I care, all I care about is the calm look in your eyes when we're together, how your laugh sounds like bells, the way your nose crinkles when you laugh at my corny jokes, or even the way you run your hands through your hair when you're stressed. I don't feel alone when I'm with you, Y/N and you always take care of me and you didn't even shy away when I was having that panic attack a few days ago. So how could you ever expect me to hate you when all I want to do is love you and all you've ever done for me is make me feel less alone and loved? How could anyone ever expect me to hate you when I see you like how I see you?" 

You two sit there for a while, just staring at each other, "Did you talk to him?"

You nod, "I did. And I told him what I wanted to do with the situation we were in."

His face drops slightly, "Oh."

You nod, "I told him I wanted to be with you."

His face brightens in surprise, "Oh."

You nod along, "Yeah."

"Then, can I-?"

You scoff, "I'd be insulted if you didn't" you laugh as he pulls you in for a kiss.

He breaks apart first, firehead resting against yours, "What happens after Italy?"

You sigh, eyes still closed, "We'll get there when we get there."

[justimajin]

A Lone Wolf’s Howl ☾ Part 11 [M]

⇾ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

⇾ Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst (only a little I promise)

↳ Werewolf AU

⇾ Words: 6.8k

⇾ Warnings: explicit werewolf smut 

⇾ Summary: Jungkook and you have been like two peas in a pod for the majority of your lives; whether it was going through the ups of downs of the horrid teenage change, to transitioning to the racing world of attempting to be adults. Simply put, you’ve been inseparable and glued to each other’s sides longer than you can remember. But one fateful day seems to completely change everything you had faith in and you begin to wonder if there was ever a time where you and your best friend even knew each other’s true colors.

gif credit.

⇾ Moodboard Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11(M) Part 12

The very first thing you see is grey. 

The bleak colour is splattered over the roof hanging above you, drawing out your blank vision with its appearance and grounding your feet back after drowning. A low cough escapes from you as your silver eyes begin to roam around, observing the small stack of clothes neatly folded on the side and the sight of a glass of water beside it. 

It brings your attention to the scratchy sensation stifled inside your throat and with a deep breath, you attempt to get up. A sharp pain pulsates at your stomach instantly, making you look down to see your entire torso covered with heavy bandages, keeping the soaked ones underneath at bay. 

You frown, lips curving in confusion when you can only stare at the grey walls again, then at the folded clothes, then at the bed, before your eyes settle down at the bandages encasing you. A handful of words are drawn out from your lips, rising up into your thoughts when the confusion begins to dissipate with another blink of your eyes. 

It wasn’t a nightmare. 

Blinking your eyes rapidly, you scrunch them up and fists the bedsheets underneath you, pulling yourself up with a grunt. You slowly swing your legs off the bed, resting your palms on the edge when your eyes scan all over your body. 

The most noticeable injury is the one on your stomach, at least a dozen bandages having been wrapped around you until they rise up to your clothed chest where they meet the healed claw marks against your shoulders. There are black marks all over your hands, as if you touched scorching heat and weren’t able to withdraw in time. Your legs seem to be the best off compared to everything else, but there’s a deep throb at the base of your ankle that you quite can’t seem to ignore.

With a low groan, you push yourself off of the bed and rest your feet against the floor, feeling a tight pain shoot up your leg. You limp over to the folded clothes, grabbing a particular white shirt that causes your brows to crease when you slide it over on yourself. 

The door creaks when you poke your head through, the wolf halls feeling eerie silent when you slowly trudge along with the limp in your foot. The coast is clear for the majority, not encountering any of the pack members until you manage to bring yourself over to the field. 

You freeze; breath hitching when a figure is seated on the edge of the field, his back turned to you as the wind spreads a breeze over the large expanse until it reaches him and weaves through his hair. You remain standing there for a moment, grasping onto the side of the door as you keep most of your body weight on it, but your eyes remain trained on him.

He isn’t enjoying the view, you observe, rather he seems to look at it with a dash of defeat. His shoulders are hunched up and although the view is truly breathtaking to see, his form seems like its shrunken, wanting to be as far away from it as he can be. 

With a deep sigh, you will your feet over to him. Once you reach him, you notice he doesn’t react until you carefully lower yourself next to him and sit down. He automatically shifts away, giving you far too much space then you need and it sends a pang of pain through you, being well aware that his tendency of distancing himself from others was a lot more obvious then he had perhaps thought. 

You don’t say anything at first, enjoying the breeze he was in for a brief moment until the space between the two of you becomes far too noticeable for you to even breath in.

“So you were out here…” You begin, voice encased with a light-heartened tone that you hope would bring some ease. However, when you reach out for his hand, he winces, looking in the complete opposite direction when you try to get a view of him. 

Your eyes contort with every single action of his and it’s like you know already, you know without him even needing to say anything.

“Jungkook please.” Despite trying so hard not to, your voice cracks. You reach and cup the side of his face with your hand, softly whispering, “Please look at me.” 

Something in your voice lures him out of it, but when he does finally turn to face you, it’s all spelt out so clearly on his features. 

You instantly encase him into your arms when drops of water begin to escape his red eyes, cheeks already marked with dried streaks. He violently trembles, grasping onto your arms and burying his sobs into your shoulder. 

A lone tear runs down from your eye when every harsh cry coming from him feels like you were being stabbed in the heart. Slowly leaning back, you separate from him onto to see a flood of tears still falling from his eyes and when he brings them up to look at you, a string of words escapes his mouth. 

“I-I am so sorry Y/N,” He meets your eyes again, growing more twisted than before, “I-I didn’t mean to hurt you, I-“ He shudders, eyes trailing down to the sheer amount of bandages all over you. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know how I can forgive myself after what I’ve don-“ 

His words are immediately cut off, his wet eyes instantly sparking up in surprise when you lean forward and capture his lips with yours. Backing away, he’s still left frozen when there’s a hue of red radiating on your skin and you look down, biting down on your bottom lip.

“It’s okay Jungkook.” You gaze at him with softer eyes, “You weren’t the one that attacked me.” 

The words attack brings a crease in his eyebrows, a flash of defeat evoking in his eyes when you promptly reach out for his hand again, “We’re both still here, and that’s what matters most.”

He obliges, head nodding with your words. However, there’s a hint of light spurring inside his expression, hopeful eyes boring into you, “When I-I was…the thing,” He stops himself, expression contorting for a second, “The thing that took me over,” He gestures with his hands and you hum, encouraging him to keep going. 

His eyes are completely wide now, gazing at you expectantly, “Did you really mean what you said?” 

Frowning, you narrow your eyes until it clicks in and then suddenly, looking at him directly in the eyes proves to be much more difficult. Not really sure on how to give him a response, you simply nod with a sheepish smile and before you even know it, Jungkook is leaning forward.

He rests his weight against you for a moment, leaning over on his arms as he tilts his head and presses his soft lips against yours. You’re caught a bit off guard, but your eyes flutter shut when he delicately moves his lips and you bring a hand over to rest on his arm. 

It’s different from how you’ve kissed him. Instead of trying to cut down his rambling of apologies towards you, he kisses you with an amount of longing you didn’t even realize was there. 

When he separates from you, his eyes are still closed shut until he slowly opens them, appearing to be caught up in a daze. A cheeky grin soon surfaces on him and he sends you a fond look. 

A hand is offered to you when you get up from the field, Jungkook interlacing your fingers as you walk back to the pack quarters together. 

***

“Does it hurt a lot?” 

You shake your head from your spot on his bed, watching him stride over to you after leaving to grab a handful of bandages once he had seen you limping. He leans down, eyes troubled when he presses a finger against the side of your ankle. 

You immediately flinch, shoulders hiking up as you swing your leg away from him and he glances up at you in apology. “It’s really swollen Y/N.” 

He instantly rises, form turning towards the door, “I think having Hoseok take a look at it would be better.” 

“Jungkook.” Your fingers curl around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. “I-…uh…” 

Biting down on your bottom lip, you wonder if it’s alright to bring it up when he was so hesitant himself to even mention what happened, “I wanted to talk.About what we…saw.”

His eyes are wide with alarm, before they narrow and he nods, sitting down next to you. 

“The rogues.” 

You hum, “Have you ever seen anything like that?” 

Jungkook shakes his head, “I’ve only ever heard about the rogues. The black eyes,” He gestures to his own, “Those are the most obvious feature about them that separates them from normal wolves.” 

You nod, piecing together everything he was saying, “But Y/N,” You look up and he furrows his brows, “Those words…and that…ritual,” He scrunches his nose, “I’ve never seen something like that before.” 

“Neither have I. Slayers usually have their own mantra’s for conjuring things up,” You gesture to your hands with a faint smile and he returns it, “but using a mantra to give life, isn’t something I’ve been told about.”

You deeply sigh, eyeing down your throbbing ankle with pressed lips, “Jungkook I know you wanted me to get healed first, but I’d really like to tell Namjoon about this first. From what happened to what we saw, I don’t think I can even sit down properly just knowing about it.” 

From sustaining multiple injuries from fighting him to trying to make it out of there alive, the true underlying horror of what you witnessed in your own cherished clan is an image that is still too freshly painted inside your mind. 

Jungkook is silent, peering at you like he was ready to go into his own thoughts about how he felt neglecting your well being first, but the pleading look you hold is what’s stopping him. It’s only until he lets out a long surrendering sigh when he finally speaks, “Alright, but please give yourself some healing time after you tell him.” 

You beam, eagerly nodding as he comes over to his bed, bending down to instantly scoop you up into his arms. Surprise is written over you when he smiles, gesturing down to your ankle. 

 “You didn’t think I was going to let you walk around with that, did you?” 

Softly laughing, you shake your head in both disbelief and amusement when he leads you out of the room. 

***

“Based on what you’ve told me so far, you and Jungkook went to Crimson in search of proof for the existence of rogue werewolves.” Namjoon stops, glancing at Jungkook. 

With a quick nod from him, he continues, “And arriving there you discovered that not only is the Crimson Clan guilty of having kept these rogue werewolves in their territory, but they have also found a way to bring them to life using their slayer abilities.” 

His eyes land on you this time, raising a questioning brow when you hum, “It’s in the same language and they use the same mantra’s I was taught during my training time.”

Namjoon furrows his brows, pacing back and forth for a moment with his hands behind his back in silence as he processes everything you’ve told him. Yet he halts, scanning eyes taking in your bandaged-up form with a hint of skepticism rising in them. “Then how did all this happen?” 

He gestures to you with his finger and you notice from the corner of your eyes that Jungkook stills for a second. You don’t move, a reassuring tone surfacing right away, “There was an incident with one of the wolves. We managed to fight it off in time but I ended being a bit careless.” 

Namjoon nods, yet you know it isn’t as easy to escape his sharp eyes when he glances over at Jungkook with disagreement. The topic is swiftly dropped though, with Namjoon sitting down on his chair and crossing his legs. 

“What you and Jungkook have done, have discovered,” He approvingly says, “This is key evidence and I do not hold back on my word Y/N. Because now that we do know, we can take the next step.” 

“But my question is for you now Y/N,” Your eyes focus onto him, “Taking down the clan after knowing all this information isn’t even an option anymore, it’s something we have to do. However, my question is…” He leans in closer, “Are you prepared to do all this?” 

There’s intent residing in his eyes, as if he was giving you as much space as you needed to think it through first before anything else. It’s something you’ve actually grown to like about him – how he’s able to keep his mind grounded despite all of the havoc emotions rushing through you and driving your brain nuts. 

Despite the admirable quality, your mind drifts and zones through everything. Like a picture reel, you think about how much you loved your time growing up in Crimson – from the intense training sessions to learning about how to control your powers, every single part of it created a piece of who you are today. 

Having your lost parents at such a young age, there wasn’t even a hole created in the center of your heart from the lack of love, for you had a different pair of eyes guiding you effortlessly and bringing you to your feet. 

But that’s when it rips, when the hole forms and becomes even larger than ever when you recall losing two dear hands from you by werewolves, werewolves with eyes that were clouded with black smoke. 

Destroying what you used to love will pull you apart on the inside, but it will join you together in such a way that you can move forward with a new type of fondness. 

Your eyes flicker up to meet Jungkook’s, who was quietly listening to Namjoon before until he gazes at you with concern, something that just has your lips tugging upwards. 

You turn to Namjoon, intent rock solid hard in your fiery silver eyes. 

“I want to do this Namjoon, no matter what it takes.” 

He nods, rising from his chair as he begins formulating a plan of attack, going through with you and Jungkook on what you needed to do and how you have to go about it. He explains it piece by piece, informing you that the whole pack will be by your side and that he will do everything in his power to uphold up to his promise, until you get what you want. 

He leaves you with a pat on the back, telling you to remain focused and prepared, but not to forget that you needed your full sleep as well. 

Because by the end of tomorrow, your clan will cease to exist. 

***

The faint chirping of crickets and light tapping of water against your window are the only sounds entering your ears, keeping your eyes wide open and the thoughts in your mind swirling. You turn on your side, the sheets dragging along with your body. 

A part of you is in full agreement – being aware of the stakes you’re presented with and knowing that even though you were raised by the clan, what they’ve done is completely wrong and you’re willing to do anything to let Namjoon’s plan see full light. 

You turn around again, shifting to the other side. 

Yet, another part of you, so quietly hidden, resides with hesitance. You can’t dismiss it, shake it off and ignore for long when it begins to emerge again, because you can’t help but wonder with it. 

Can you take down Crimson? 

Do you actually have it in you to do so? 

Although your answer for Namjoon was absolutely firm, being left alone only makes those alarming thoughts grow louder in your mind and it’s at a volume your mind can no longer take when you get up from your bed with a huff. 

Trudging down the stairs with a sigh, you can hear the same soft snores residing in every room until you pause at a particular one, hand ghosting over the knob.

You clench your eyes shut, shaking your head and turning around to go back to your room when the door abruptly opens, leaving a half-awake Jungkook at the other end. 

“Y/N?” He croaks, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes when you try not to let out a snicker at the mess his hair is in. “Why are you still awake?” 

His question catches you off guard, a horrible attempt at trying to cover up, “I was just walking around, you know, getting some water.” 

Jungkook crosses his arms, leaning against his door frame with a lazy smile, “You can’t sleep.” 

You scoff, “I can.” 

He walks closer to you, startling you when he points the collection of dark circles forming under your eyes, “Are you sure about that?”

Sometimes it can be difficult with Jungkook, trying hard at hiding things when you forget he’s known you for far too long and trying to hide something from him is like trying to hide something from yourself. 

A deep sigh escapes you, removing his hand from your eyes, “I can’t sleep.” 

“I would have never guessed.” Jungkook retaliates with a grin, using his foot to slowly open his door and he gestures you inside with a tilt of his head, “Let’s see if this wolf can assist you with anything.”

You lightly chuckle, heading into his room when he closes the door shut behind you, “Am I bothering you?” 

He shrugs, shuffling over to you and then sinking onto his bed with a sigh, “You’re not the only one that can’t sleep.” 

You nod, a soft smile decorating your lips when you sit down next to him. He offers you a glass of water, which you gladly accept and down right away. 

You finish with a fresh gasp, placing the glass down, “So is it because of the plan or is something else keeping you awake?” 

“The plan.” You state, taking a heavy exhale, “I guess there’s something –, something in me that doesn’t want to go through with it.” 

Jungkook nods, eyes slowly fluttering close but ears intently listening to every word. “What Crimson has done is of course, wrong, but I’m afraid I’ll hold back tomorrow, lose or worst, freeze midway –“

“You’re scared.” Jungkook softly says. 

“Scared?” You narrow your eyes with his choice of words but Jungkook kindly nods, peering at you through a messy bedhead and now inevitably awake eyes. 

“It’s your home Y/N. You’ve stayed here with us, but before any of this,” He gestures to the space between you, “Your loyalties have stayed with Crimson.” 

You nod and Jungkook gazes around, taking in the warm atmosphere of his room and the pleasantness it gives him, “And this is where my loyalties have been. Telling me to destroy any of this isn’t easy, so I can’t imagine how it must be like for you right now.” 

You hum, shoulders relaxing and mind-clearing when Jungkook can pinpoint the tension swirling in the pit of your stomach, stripping away all reminders of sleep away from you and leaving a sense of calm you were desperately seeking out for. 

A sigh escapes you, the storm beginning to drift away when you turn to him with a playful smile, “You know, you really sounded like Namjoon there for a second.” 

Jungkook turns to you in surprise and your smile grows, “I’ve only known him for so long but I’m happy he’s treated you well. Especially when I couldn’t.” 

Jungkook returns your smile, a kind look filling his eyes and leaving you with peace. 

***

“Um…” You trail off, not meeting Jungkook’s eyes when he shifts away from you bashfully, “Let me just get this straight, the first time you shifted was during a date?” 

Jungkook exasperatedly groans, “Was she surprised? Did she freak out?” He rolls over, tugging the entire blanket alongside him as a result. You shake his shoulder, your curiosity growing by the minute, “You have to tell me Jungkook! Don’t start off a story and then not finish it!” 

He flips over to you again, but there’s a layer of distaste painted over his features like the simple thought had him already cringing, “I used the bathroom as an excuse…” 

It takes every fibre in your being to keep the giggles at bay, but they come exploding out when his expression twists and suddenly you just can’t hold back anymore. 

“You…” You swipe a tear away from your eyes, gasping when regret is written all over him, “You shifted in a bathroom…you–“ 

The laughter is spilling out of you at this point, no sense of stopping anytime soon when he buries his face into his pillow, a faint reminiscent smile emerging. 

He sighs, “At least one of us got a good laugh out of it.” 

“Sorry.” You say, “But what happened then?” 

Jungkook turns to face you, “What? In the bathroom?” 

You nod, “Well luckily there wasn’t anyone around to see the whole thing, but I scared the living daylights out of someone’s dog when I left.” You share a laugh, “I eventually ran into Namjoon after that, well, he actually found me on a rough night when my powers were getting out of control.” 

You hum, trying to unwrap the blanket from him so he could at least share with you and let you nestle in. “Was this the time you started dating a lot? I can’t really remember ever seeing you around.” 

“Yeah.” Jungkook stiffens, rolling his head against the pillow to gaze at you, “I was still learning how to control my powers and I thought it would be best for the both of us if I laid low for a while.” 

You nod, silence drawing before its broken with his laughter. 

“I tried so hard to hide my wolf side, when you had this whole thing going on.” 

He picks up your hand, lying down beside you as he stares at your open palm in the air. 

You softly laugh, “It wouldn’t have been such a great idea telling me after all, I might have just killed you on the spot.” 

“That’s a good point.” 

You both laugh, a comfortable silence resting between you as you share a blanket and stare at Jungkook’s broad ceiling. The blanket is barely covering you, knowing that Jungkook doesn’t really need much of it because of the heat his wolf produces, but still hogging it over to his side as always. 

It’s so comfortable that you feel your lids slowly beginning to flutter, seeping into the long stretched out tiredness aching inside your bones and finally the turning off to the switch of your restless mind. Before you head towards snoozville however, Jungkook pokes your arm. 

“Hey Y/N.” You hum, eyes now fully shut when you can feel sleep dragging you away but you stay awake enough to listen, “When you said I couldn’t bear to see you with Jimin, you were,” He lightly laughs, “Well, you were right.” 

Your eyes are open now, craning your head against your pillow to catch a view of him and he continues when he catches you looking at him, “But I wasn’t wrong about my wolf instincts either. When I was starting to control my powers, I avoided you because I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

You nod, understanding but he persists on it, “If wolves aren’t given proper training, or they can’t learn to control themselves in time, they turn feral. Permanently.” 

“They’ll become like rogues, attacking people without thinking twice. Friends, families,” Your eyes spark, “So when I-I attacked you, as that thing, I attacked you being the last thing I ever wanted to turn into.” 

“I had restrained myself for so long, but the moment I was so sure that you could be safe around me…I-I couldn’t stop myself…” 

Jungkook’s voice cracks at the end and he turns, gazing at the ceiling when you can notice his eyes turning glossy. 

“Jungkook.” You turn on your side, bringing a hand to his shoulder. His attention drifts for a moment and you give him a warm smile, “You still did protect me, in more ways than one.” Your hand glides over to his, “Having you around always helped me forget about everything else. I was just me and not a slayer. I had no goals, no plans of training or hunting, I just had fun with my best friend and was happy…just like a regular human would be.” 

Although you truly loved being a slayer – it wasn’t the easiest task to come down from it all, to give yourself a chance to breathe from the rigorous, stressful training sessions, not memorizing complex mantra’s or learning intense new sword techniques. Like a switch of some sort, it would all dissipate in a flash when you were with Jungkook, whether it took the form of buzzing with excitement with your nightly movie marathons until one of you would fall asleep, or weaving your way into helping him with any problems, careful thought being put in when a slayer wouldn’t even think twice. 

You were just you and he was just him, and that was the best part of it. 

A sheepish smile is on your lips, bashfully grinning when Jungkook turns to you in awe. You stare back with wide innocent eyes, the smile soon disappearing when there’s something unreadable dwelling in his eyes and before you can even question it, he shifts himself to plant his lips against yours. 

Even though you and Jungkook have only locked lips a handful of times, there’s always a welcoming and comforting feeling that envelops the both of you. It’s the same feeling you get when you're pouring out mindless thoughts swimming inside your head, or when your bantering over the fact that you’ll never win against him in any video game. It’s a feeling that spreads warm, covering you like a warm blanket would or spreading life through your body after an icy chill. 

It’s a feeling that’s different from the suffocation you’ve experienced stepping into your own territory, walls and air that are supposed to feel dear and precious but have drifted away bit by bit with new knowledge. 

He feels like home – warm, comforting, and most importantly, familiar. 

His kiss is similar, yet it contains a bundle of layers you didn’t even know existed. When he kissed you before, there was an amount of hesitance involved, like he wasn’t sure where the line was and if he could even cross it. However now, instead of unconsciously tiptoeing around it, he seems to walk over with no care in the word when he kisses you feverishly. 

His hand slowly slides over, threading into your hair and roughly pushing your locks away. Both your eyes are fluttered shut, only opening when Jungkook abruptly breaks the kiss and silently gazes at you as he deeply heaves.

There's a spur confusion in your eyes, reaching out to faintly touch his cheek when he cocks his head to the side. He doesn’t meet your gaze anymore, regret rapidly spreading over his features when you can clearly see the knotted crease in between his brows. His form completely stiffens; arms tensing up and jaw tightening. 

You carefully bring him to tilt his head, making him look at you in the eyes only to discover the deep gold swirling in them, hastily descending down into their feral state. 

You blink, mouth agape until your mind sinks back, recalling a conversation you shared at the time in amusement but experiencing the pieces of the ramifications only now. 

A warm smile is on your lips, recalling him in a flustered state, hues of red all over his timid skin. You start to trace along his features – beginning with the dark gold in his eyes, down to his rounded smooth rose. His eyes move with your fingertips, a hint of brief surprise in them when he watches you go all the way along to his lips until you lift yourself forward. 

A sudden shutter escapes him when you do, eyes fluttering shut when you loop your arms around his neck and bring him down closer. He abruptly breaks apart from you again, this time faster when he sounds like he's gasping for air and trembles in your arms. 

His voice is incredibly hoarse, like it was coming out from the ocean’s depths, "I-I'm sorry, I just need to know-" 

Your eyes are dazed over, seeing every part of him so crystal clear as you silently thank the ever-glowing moonlight seeping into the room. Your eyes are drawn to the reflective gold, that swirl deep with both desire and fear. The intense furrowing of his brows, contrasting with the shaky fisting of the sheets beneath his hands. The soft words tumbling off his lips, yet mixed in with a raspier tone.

It only makes the tender smile on your lips grow more, widening when you give him a simple shy nod. That's all it takes for the cord within him to immediately snap, because he's soon leaving your lungs deprived of air. 

He furrows his brows, rooting both his hands in your hair when you separate for a brief moment, letting out a gasp when he's on you again, slowly and quickly at the same time, savouring every single moment.

His hands gradually trail down, resting against your waist. They slowly travel upwards, meeting bare skin that sends a cascade of shivers down you. 

Taking it as a signal, his hands are soon roaming everywhere when your nightshirt is carelessly tossed to the ground, exposing your complete torso to him. 

You aren't very sure what to expect, suddenly having that comfortable feeling merge with a spike of something else, something that has your heart alarmingly race against your chest and you biting down on your bottom lip more the longer he stares at you. You also can't seem to meet his eyes anymore, flickering elsewhere when you harshly swallow.

"You're so beautiful." He softly whispers, blinking when the tone is completely different from the strained one he had before, one that's filled with amazement which only causes your heart to swell up. He instantly leans against you, letting his warmth radiate onto you when he leaves a hot trail of open-mouthed kisses all over your chest. 

A low moan escapes you when his breath waves over your mark, wanting nothing more but to get rid of the distance when your hands fist his shirt. You grab the seam, raking it over his shoulders and letting it meet the ground when your mouth falls open. 

You've seen him shirtless before, countless times when he was in a hurry to get dressed or using your bathroom to his own comfort, but to see like this, hovering over you as a thick layer of sweat covers him, spurs a whole new array of feelings that only has you gulping. 

It becomes worse when his hazy golden eyes meet your silver ones, the moment feeling so incredibly intimate that you feel lost in his gaze until he leans forward on his arms and kisses you again.

You begin to understand that his kisses grow more and more expressive by the minute, this one telling you of his increasing need when his hands fall on top of your thighs and have him effortlessly lifting you to be closer to him. 

A hiss escapes you when he goes down to kiss your neck, a trail of fire being left in his awake near your mating mark and only driving the want of him more when you’re clutching against his back. 

With one swift moment, he reaches down and rids you of both your pyjama pants and undergarments, a cool breeze suddenly overcoming you until he leans over you again. His temperature is cascadingly high, radiating off all over him when his breaths suddenly begin to increase. 

They come out as shaken and broken, sounding like he had been running a marathon. Compared to you, he seems to be holding back by a lot now, arms tensing up when the gold only brews darker and darker in his eyes. 

He kisses you again, arms wrapping around you when he keeps leaving blooming kisses all over your torso, causing a whine to escape you. 

You grab onto his hair, tugging it with scrunched up eyes, "Jungkook, please." 

He groans, sending vibrations through you before he moves down and begins to leave kisses on the side of your thighs. Your breath hitches when he draws closer to your core, his grip tightening on your thigh. 

You don't expect him to dive right in, tongue immediately flattening against your folds in a hurried pace, as if the clock was ticking down the seconds. It sends an immediate jolt through you – your back instantly arching, eyes screwing shut when he begins to absolutely devour you with a string of licks. 

You barely hear the sound he produces, too occupied with the ministrations his mouth constantly makes against you. Reaching out, you tangle your hands in his hair and draw him closer, heavy gasps escaping your mouth. 

He pauses, choosing to instead harshly suck around your clit with his lips, circling around the sensitive bud until your grip on him tightens. If that wasn't enough, he inserts a finger in you that you take in easily, lapping at your clit simultaneously. 

"Jungkook-" You pant, your voice trying to warn him, "Jungkook, I-I'm going to-" 

Your voice is cut off with a sharp cry, a white-hot pleasure overtaking your body when your orgasm rips through you. He doesn't stop even as your body quivers, lapping at the juices until you've stopped spilling out onto his lips. 

Your chest rises and falls when Jungkook moves up, hovering over you as you gaze at him with half-lidded eyes. His mouth is completely coated with your residue, but now his eyes are entirely feral with newly emerged canines, his hair soaked with sweat. 

Among all this, the look in his eyes is perhaps what has your heartbeat escalating. He looks like he's ready to eat you, aside from the fact that he's already done that, and you visibly gulp, eyes full-blown now. 

He leans down, pressing his lips over the mark he's made as he intertwines your hands together. A soft tone escapes his mouth, surprisingly gentler compared to his appearance. 

"I won't be able to stop, I-" A low growl erupts from his throat, causing you to flinch, "I can't stop." 

He manages to finish, fisting the sheets underneath him when he can't even look into your eyes. It seems like he's dangling on a thread, so close to losing himself. 

You trail your fingers down his back, eyes taking in the way he trembles until your touch, burying himself closer to your mark. Reaching out, you bring his face closer to yours, watching his large feral eyes flicker all over you. 

You briefly press your lips against his, moving to press your forehead against his and whispering. 

"Make me yours Jungkook." 

His eyes immediately widen, lips colliding with yours when he firmly wraps his arms around you. To your own surprise, he easily lifts you up and flips you around onto your stomach, his hand coming over to cover yours. 

He presses down, encouraging you to sink down into the bed when he's against your back, breath only a mere inch from your ear. Lifting one of your legs, he shifts and you hear something hit the ground until he comes back to wrap his arm around your middle. 

He tightly grabs onto you, lining himself against your entrance. He suddenly jerks forward, causing you to grab onto the sheets when he pushes himself further in. 

A low hiss escapes you, your entire form tensing up when he stops midway, his lips moving to make marks along your shoulder and back until you relax against him. He thrusts into you again, this time quicker until he meets your center and you take a deep breath, trying to get used to him. 

After a moment, you grow impatient and reach up to tug at his hair. He pulls out, causing you to whine until he thrusts right back in and the bed shifts underneath you. He picks up the pace immediately, thrusting into you at a rapid animalistic speed that only has you crying out. 

His name tumbles out of your lips with every powerful thrust of his as you tremble. You can hear him gasping from the corner of your ear, still holding onto you when the bed creaks with every single moment of his. 

You can feel the knot slowly building up, chasing it more and more until a particular thrust of his sends you off the edge and a sharp cry erupts from your throat. Your hips meet his thrusts, desperately trying to ride out your everlasting high when Jungkook comes undone right after you, coating your walls completely. 

If you weren't too caught up in your own array of bliss, you could have sworn you would have heard the loud howl Jungkook lets behind you, seemingly sounding like a fully morphed wolf to you. When you begin to catch your breath however, a sudden stretching sensation in your core has you blinking, tears beginning to form in your eyes. 

"Ah-" You turn, attempting to get his attention, "Jungkook." 

He finally snaps back, holding onto you when the burning feeling doesn't leave you, "Shit."

Your eyes widen in alarm, having only heard him curse a handful of times, "Jungkook, w-what is it?" 

He doesn't answer back immediately, pausing when the uncomfortable swelling finally halts, and you let out a relieved exhale. 

"Don't move." He heaves, moving his hands onto your hips, "I've knotted inside you." 

"Knotted?" You question, trying your best not to wince when he moves you to lie down against him. Craning your head back, you attempt to catch a glance of him and to your own surprise, he looks considerably different compared to how he was with you just moments ago. Instead, there's a bashful look on his face as he gnaws down on his bottom lip. 

"It's a wolf thing," He replies, "It's what they do when they want to have pups with their mates." 

Your eyes blow up and your mouth falls agape, staring at Jungkook silently. He doesn't meet your eyes, the gold in his fading away from their feral state. 

The shock slowly dims down, morphing into astonishment when a smile spreads across your lips. Reaching out, you push some of his sweaty fringe back when he innocently glances up at you and it truly makes you wonder if he was the same person sending you off the edge and surprising you with his inhumane strength a mere handful of seconds ago. 

"I don't think we would be bad parents." 

His eyes beam, "Really?" 

You nod, mind-shifting away when you feel the pressure inside you starting to deflate. With a sigh, he gently slips out of you, letting you move your legs into a much more comfortable position. 

He reaches over to cover you with the blanket, a furrow in his brows, "A werewolf and a slayer…" he shakes his head lightly, resting his head against the pillow opposite from yours when he softly chuckles, "Sounds like a pretty weird combination to me." 

"We can make history then." You mumble, sleep drawing into your eyes. 

He smiles, wrapping his arms around you when his eyes dart over to the clock, watching the handles tick away the few hours you have left. Leaning over to your ear, he whispers in a quiet tone. 

"But I think we'll really make history tomorrow Y/N." 

His eyes glance over to you for a response, only to see your eyes completely shut as small snores begin to leave your lips. He laughs at the sight, being aware that now you were both mentally and physically exhausted.

Tugging you closer to him, he rests his forehead against yours as his eyes begin to flutter shut, a soft smile remaining on his features.