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elviratheepic · 1 year

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Idk if I'll stick with this, but I've been in hospital for over a week now and I can feel my brain turning to mush, so I'm thinking it might be good to post like a journal thingy here. I can just throw my thoughts to the void and if anyone feels like throwing any thoughts back at me, maybe I'll reminded what human interaction is lol

And who knows, maybe some bits and pieces of my experiences rn might be handy to someone who ends up seeing it. This is a weird time for me, maybe someone else around here's having, has had or will have some similar weird times and we'll have made a little connection even if we don't speak :)

I mentioned it briefly in a post on my art blog, but to flesh it out a bit, I've been generally run down and really quite unwell like all summer and now into autumn. Been back and forth to the doctor, told I have chest infections, possible asthma, etc. I get booked in for an xray and then something looks weird so a ct scan, still thinking it's pneumonia with some odd symptoms, then a couple days later I get a call from my doctor telling me i am going to the hospital asap, there's a bunch of fluid in my chest that should not be there and also they need to check for lymphoma. I've never been to hospital for more than an orthodontist appointment and while not as surprised as I could be expected to be by the thought of cancer due to having had a weird anxiety fixation thing on the idea for a while (fun coincidence), it was still a bit of an ordeal lol. This was 10 days ago and I have not been home since. I've been coping pretty well considering the wild lack of control I feel over literally anything rn. The steroids they've got me on rn while I wait for further treatment have me feeling better than I have in a long while, and mentally the worst I've been dealing with is some fairly mild dissociation. Just kind of taking things as they come for now, rolling with things as best I can especially while so many things are kind of a bit up in the air and subject to change.

But I mean drama aside, the current diagnosis for me is pretty good. The cancer as it appears right now is treatable and has a pretty great cure rate. It's a "primary mediastinal large B-cell lymphoma" according to the leaflet I've got. It's high grade, so fast acting and aggressive but that actually makes these easier to get rid of than low grade slower working ones. It's hanging out next to my heart so that's the reason I've had all these bullshit symptoms in my chest cuz it's just been fuckin shit up in there and irritating its roommates. They've got me booked in for a pet scan day after tomorrow cuz the scanner was having issues so they couldn't get me in sooner, then the plan is to start chemotherapy the next day. Which will be an experience. The treatment plan we've basically already decided is 6 21-day cycles of chemo where I'll be in hospital for about 5 days getting monitored and adjusted treatment, then going home for the rest and coming back to start the cycle again. It's not going to be the most fun and easy experience of my life but tbh I've done hard things before and I know I'm capable of doing this. Not that this kind of thing can ever really come at a "good" time, but I think that personally I'm pretty lucky this came along at the point in my life it did. I've been able to spend the last couple years basically building myself back up from feeling entirely lost, shattered and directionless after a pretty traumatic attempt at university durring covid lockdowns. I'm maybe lacking in some life experience people my age tend to have, but ultimately I have confidence, strength and self-awareness now that I do not take for granted. Basically I got the chance to reinforce my foundations in unkowing preparation for this whole thing. Honestly, I'm kind of just curious who I'll be on the other side of this experience - wherever that may be.

My main concern has been my siblings. I'm the oldest of 3 and we're all very close, spend a lot of time together and are at the core of eachothers' support systems. One of them's got college stress and deadlines, the other's out of school with anxiety issues rn, and my instinct is to be there as a support. And of course they would be supporting me too, it's not all give, they're amazing at being there for me too especially while I've been unwell (I love them so so much and I'm proud of everything they do can you tell lol). But while they have been visiting when they can, we don't get so much time together rn with me being in hospital and I feel like it's hard to get a gauge on how things really are with eachother at the moment which is rough with there being so much change going on rn. I know we'll figure things out, but I can't help worrying about them a bit, I feel like it's kind of my job lol

Oof can you tell it's getting late and my brain's going sleepy ramble mode? Idk if I'm even making much sense but hey

The ward I've been moved to for this is good. It's a cancer ward for teens and young adults with a common room area funded by the teenage cancer trust. There's guitars, a ps4, craft supplies and free snacks. It feels so weird that like that space is for me to use, like I'm kinda tresspassing on something for people who need it more than I do. But the ward's fairly quiet and not so busy at the moment, so when my siblings and briefly my friend came to visit me today, we basically had free reign of the space without having to disturb anyone. I feel more comfortable in there than I did, and I think it's a good space for my siblings to be when they come visit. I'm really greatful they get to use it with me - even if I feel kind of like others deserve the space more (ik im being silly), seeing them get good use and some fun out of it today was good and reassuring. It's reassuring to hear people talking about there being support systems for siblings too should they need them. Especially when it feels like I can't look out for them so much in the ways I normally would.

But yeah, I think that's about all that's in my brain for right now. I'll look back on this tomorrow and realise none of this actually made any sense lol

But yeah basically got thrown a bit of a curveball lately as life tends to do, but there's answers now where there wasn't before, and the path ahead's starting to make itself visible. It sucks, but I've been worse. I'm not just saying that for the sake of offsetting the fact that it sucks, I'm just taking the the little wins where i can cuz I know that's gotten me through plenty rough and sucky times before.

Some little wins:

Woke up to magpies outside the window this morning. One came right up to the glass to say hi, but I couldn't snap a picture in time lol <3

My friend brought me a rainbow sensory slug companion, and I made a pipecleaner creature named Spigley while my siblings were here. They are friends and will be my chemo companions :)

(Idk if that's a mouth or a moustache but i think it suits him either way)

#elv talks #long post #chemo chronicles #i guess lol #cancer tw #hospital tw #ask to tag

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scorchedhearth · 3 years

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looking for screencaps and andy's axe seath(?) is actually pretty cool and ingenious, in the comics they slide their round axe into an opening circle/flat sphere but in the movie they clip the staff of their axe into the contraption attached to the back of the jacket, that's pretty neat

#i think it's ease of making the prop. sticking a baton in a clip is easier than crafting an opening and closing circle with a sliding bit #tog #andromache the scythian #tog comics

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applcrumbl · 2 years

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pickled onion divorce papers.

Pairings: Ex! Dilf!Eddie Munson x F!Reader Warnings: Smut under the cut, 18+ Minors DNI, oral (f!recieving), unprotected sex, lemme know what ive missed! Author’s Note: okay i haven’t written smut in a long time, and ye i don’t get the title either i just liked it

Summary: Your ex husband is desperate to reconnect at your son’s 7th birthday.

Your son turned 7. A parade of young children flooded your small backyard on a bright summer's day in June, each excited to celebrate on the expensive bounce house you’d rented. Blown a good chunk of your savings on it. Some cautious parents hovered around the rainbow entrance, while most sat on lawn chairs, soaking up some rays themselves. You sat out another tray of assorted goodies on your kitchen island - a stack of napkins ready to be used by sticky hands and grubby faces. Truthfully, Oscar’s parties had been average at best, in the past. But this year you were determined to stick it to your ex-husband. Of course, you wanted the best for your son, as any mother would. But, there was no denying the excitement that escaped when thinking about how you’d remain the favourite parent for a little while longer.

“You did a good job,” Eddie said, leaning on the frame of the patio doors. A half-empty bottle of something in his hand, “Oscar is loving it”

‘No thanks to you’ You thought but bit your tongue instead. “Yeah, it’s been a tough time for him, he deserves it”

“And you?”

Your ex-husband was insufferable when he got like this. He could read you like a book, but never when it counted. Which was part of the reason why you split in the first place.

“I think you know how I feel Edward-”

“Wow, Edward, huh” he laughed, “I see how it is,”

“Not today,” you warned. Fully aware of what was coming next.

He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to talk about the divorce papers that had appeared through the letterbox of his uncle’s trailer a few days earlier. Where he had been staying since December when you split. He wanted to talk about how you were feeling. He wanted to talk to you, and only you. Just once.

“Then when?” He huffed, moving from his position and to your side of the island counter. The same long fluffy hair, even though it was wildly out of fashion now.

“When there's a solicitor present”

You swung the cabinet door open, nearly missing the gorgeous face of your ex-husband. Pulling a jar of pickled onions from somewhere up back. They were bound to be eaten by someone.

“C’mon, this can seriously be what you want Y/N” Eddie tried, watching as you struggled to open the tight jar.

“What I want is to enjoy our son’s birthday without another argument,” You reply, breathing out slowly as Eddie takes the jar from your hand and opens it with ease, “I had that.”

He smiles softly, “I know you did”

The conversation was dropped as 25 hungry little monsters crowded your kitchen, ravenous for chocolate and crisps. One of the mothers begged her twins to have something more substantial than a handful of party rings. Oscar - the absolute double of his father stood away from the group. Mouth full of cocktail sausage and big brown baby cow eyes.

In the commotion, Eddie had found himself next to you, serving up paper plates of various finger foods. You didn’t notice as his hands brushed your hips as he passed. It was such a natural thing so long ago. His grip tightened as the kitchen emptied again.

“I’ve missed this,” he confessed, whispering, unable to move from his spot.

A shaky breath, “Eddie, you’re only making this harder than it needs to be”

“Please don’t make me sign them,” he practically begged, lips pressed to the back of your hair. You couldn’t see his face, yet you knew exactly what was splayed on it. “We can make this work, Y/N. I know we can.”

It was second nature for you to say no in this situation. It had happened enough times in the several months since your initial separation. And it was much easier to explain to Oscar that ‘mommy and daddy are never getting back together’ than it was to tell a 7-year-old that ‘mommy and daddy just aren’t quite sure’. Pretending for the sake of your son just wasn’t working anymore, and so quitting seemed like the easiest option.

It wasn't.

But if you were being honest with yourself. You wished you'd struggled through it, because anything would be better than being without him. You wanted the long nights of arguing, or the days without seeing each other because without them you were miserable.

Minutes passed as you finally rest your head back on Eddie’s shoulder. He could practically see the contemplation in your mind, but he was scared of saying anything. Desperate to keep you in his arms a moment longer.

“We can’t tell him until we know for certain”

Your voice was just above a whisper but he heard you clear as day. His hand in yours in one swift movement as he pulled you off to a quiet room of your once family home. All thoughts of the party downstairs were gone as Eddie kissed you passionately. Months of built-up pining revealed themselves as the kiss deepened. Strong hands guided your back to the wall, careful not to be too loud.

Eddie practically moaned into your mouth as he stripped you down. Only breaking his lips from yours to trail them down to your lower stomach. “I still remember the way you taste,” He breathed as your fingers tangled in his hair. “And I never wanna forget”

His mouth attached to your clit immediately, knowing exactly where to go, and what he wanted to do. Eddie had dreamed of this for so long, that he was going to savour every moment. A skilled tongue delved through your folds. Licking a strong swipe up your slit. You shuddered at the contact, it had been too long since you’d been touched like this. Since he’d touched you like this. And it was like heaven. Rounded nose bumbled your sensitive clit as you wiggled in Eddie’s grasp, lean arms wrapping around thick thighs as he pinned you harder to the bed. Tongue exploring further down, closer to your asshole. “Oh god,” he grunts, relishing in the ecstasy he is giving you. His own hips rut against the edge of your bed, desperate to alleviate the pressure in his own underwear.

Soft lips attach once more on your clit, sucking gently as you felt your peak rising. “Eds, Wait I’m gonna-”

Words fell on empty ears as Eddie dove in harder. There may have been a buffet of sweet treats long enough to feed an army downstairs, but Eddie knew what he’d rather be eating. Your legs shook as you grew close, pressure building in your most sensitive spot, and Eddie could tell.

A voice called your name from down the hall, but the intonated sound mixed with that of your lover above you. You hadn’t heard it fully until much too late.

“Y/N do you want to do the cake? Liam’s mom says they need to leave soo- Oh my god”

Mortified, you pull the covers over yourself, unable to speak, husband still between your legs. Robin stood glued to the spot. Hand stuck to the door handle.

“Hello? We’re in the middle of something” Eddie states, head emerging from the blanket you’d thrown over him. A shit-eating grin peeking through his mouth, wet with your slick.

Your eyes blow wide as you apologise profusely, searching the room for your lost underwear and promising Robin you would be down as soon as possible. Shutting the door, you locate the skimpy lace in the back pocket of your lover.

You reach for them as Eddie turns, “Nuh-uh, I’m not finished with you,” he teases. Hands wandering down your sides, taking temporary residence in the dips of your hips. You attempt to wiggle out of his grasp, hands chasing his backside for your panties.

“Eddie, I am mortified. We gotta get back down there.” You lecture, hands coming to rest on his naked torso. When he took his shirt off? You weren't sure. But you didn’t mind anyhow, absent-mindedly tracing your fingers over the outline of the spider tattoo near his collarbone. “Hand em over” you almost begged.

Eddie hesitated, he wanted to follow your every word, he wanted to go downstairs hand in hand, or exchange flirty glances from across the garden. But he wanted to take you first. “Please?” you tried again. But it didn’t work as Eddie had you pinned to the mattress in one fell swoop, kissing up and down your neck and chest.

“Normally I would say yes, be a good husband” He offered, “But baby, if not now. I know this will never happen again”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“I have wanted this for so long, Y/N. and I’m not even just talking about the sex.” Eddie sighs, “I want the long nights and the arguments that never seem to end. I want to tuck Ozzy in together, not just see him every other weekend. I want to sit and have family dinners in front of the TV. I want the mundane chores. I want things to go back to as they were”

“Things won’t go back to as they were Eddie,”

“I don't care, I just want you back” He whispers, “I need you to be my Mrs. Munson again.”

And then he had you. Lips colliding together in a passionate kiss. It was messy, and by far not the best kiss you’d ever had. But it mattered nonetheless, desperation oozing from your husband, and your lips worked in tandem. Wandering hands found themselves pulling at the loops of Eddie’s jeans, “Take these off,” you murmur, “We need to be quick”

The truth was that Eddie didn’t want to be quick. He wanted to take his time with you and savour every second. He wanted to bed you for hours as you screamed his name. Like you used to. He wanted to cum inside you again and again, and have you lick the substance from his fingers. He wanted to thrust into you like this for the rest of your lives. Alternating paces, slow and then fast, edging himself into lasting for hours.

But the truth also was that he finished in 2 minutes. Not quite used to having you in his arms again. Hot ropes of white seed plant themselves inside you without a condom, as you muffled your own screams of pleasure into his shoulder. The long-haired man lay sweaty and on top of you. Almost embarrassed by how short it was, but he didn't care. You shoved him off gently, legs aching from being pounded into. “I still love you, Eddie” you confessed. “I want this to work.”

“It will baby, I’ll make sure of it.”

#writing #eddie munson #smut #angst

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step-on-me-khun · 4 years

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This is my first time writing for something that isn’t ToG, please go easy on me, but still, I do requests and fics and stuff like that. I just felt compelled to write this.

Post timeskip Kenma x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 1998

Request: 6, but still open

The tension was slowly rising between the two of you. Any moments spent together were quiet and uncomfortable. It was mainly due to one comment to gave Kenma when he was gaming one night.

"You know that gaming is a big part of what I do," he said, leaning back in his gaming chair, watching the characters moving around on the screen, "just don't get too surprised about how much I spend here you'll soon get used to it,"

You weren't too bothered about the extensive amount of hours that he spent gaming, as you would also game or stream, which kind of made your relationship a little easier.

But the lack of affection or talking, in general, got to you, making you sadder with every day. Sure, you shared a bed, but it wasn't enough for you. It was lonely, and you wanted to feel love and validation from him.

It was easy to understand his words, but it was also easy for you to feel emotionally withdrawn from him too. It was supposed to be a relationship between the two of you, something that made you happy. You loved him, but it felt more like his game were his main priority.

You were the only one in bed. The dark and lonely room only helped to make you feel even more forgotten and alone. The silence made you feel sick inside and made you desperate for Kenma to find you, to tell you just how much he loved and adored you.

Looking up at the ceiling, your eyes threatened to cry. Were you overreacting by crying? No, this wasn't you overreacting. He was your world. It didn't matter how long you would game for, your mind would instantly think of him whenever you were halfway through your game.

Tears spilt from your orbs, you close your eyes and try to stop your thoughts from overwhelming you.

Your arm moved over your face, wiping the tears away from your eyes. It was twenty minutes to midnight. You looked outside to the moon and the stars, picturing just how much better they looked in real life than in any game.

Moving the blanket away from your body, you shifted your legs off the bed. You stood up slowly, not wanting to move too quickly to avoid getting dizzy.

The lack of communication between the two of you was driving you crazy. It wasn't too much to ask of him to just put down the damn video game controller and spend some time with you, was it?

You walk towards the door and out of the room, geet leading you to where you knew Kenma would be. The whole house was dark, very little light was shining anywhere, but you could tell where he was, a stream of light peeking out from under one of the doors.

Little noise was heard as you stood beside the door, listening closely to anything and everything. He was good with his hands, that's what you would expect from someone like him, being both a promising volleyball player and a decent gamer, too.

He knew you were there, listening, but decided to just stay silent.

Your hand slowly opens the door, revealing him to you. His eyes never strayed away from the screen he was staring into.

Your vision was clouded by the tears that were still building up in your eyes. The only thing that startled him was the sound of you sniffling and sobbing lightly. His mood changed, but it wasn't enough for you to noticed.

Your feet brought you closer to him, leading you up to his gaming chair. You were compelled to place your hands over his eyes.

"Not now," he complains.

"I need to get something off my chest," you sob.

"Can't you just give me a few minutes so I can beat this level?"

It was both heartbreaking and infuriating. Anger burned inside you, running away would be a good option for you at the moment, but you didn't want to leave without saying what you wanted to say.

"How long do you think you'll be?" You ask sadly.

His eyes quickly glance at you, capturing a glance at your red face.

"Not long, just give me a few seconds," he replies, the tips of his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrated on the last few steps his character took.

He saved his process quickly, sighing as he turned the game off. You didn't want him to be mad at you, but you also wouldn't forgive yourself if you walked away now.

"What is it?" He asks.

Your heart almosts sinks again, your emotions almost getting too much as he sits in front of you, looking as if nothing was wrong at all.

"I don't know how much longer I can deal with this," you sob.

"You knew that being with me would be difficult,"

"I know," you say, rubbing the tears from your eyes, "I just thought you'd come and find me, tell me that I'm more important than any character in any of your games. I love you, and I feel so alone,"

"I am sorry you feel that way,"

"Maybe it would be better if I left," you turn around and walked out of the room, leaving your boyfriend shocked on his gaming chair.

If any sense was in his mind, he would run after you. You quietly sobbed as you guided your way back to your room.

Opening the door to your room, you quickly move back towards the bed, falling onto it and wrapping the blanket around you.

It felt like the world was crumbling around you, and it was all because both of you were diehard gamers. You knew just how much gaming impacted his life, it was like that with you, but you never let it get to the point where it ran your life.

Your loud sobs continued as you lay on the bed, your body covered by the blanket, hands clutching at it.

The bed sunk beside you as you cried, which you felt. The sound of rustling caught your attention as your cries halted for a moment.

It was Kenma, he had come to for no reason other than what you had said to him before.

"You're not going to leave me, are you?" Kenma asks, his hand pulling on the blanket that covered you.

You were hesitant to give him a proper response. The blanket was pulled slowly off you. His eyes looking down at the floor.

You sat up, your face still red from the tears.

"I don't know," you say hoarsely.

He moves quickly, pushing you back onto the bed, hands pinning yours to the bed.

"Kenma what're you-" you start but was disrupted by his mouth pressing harshly onto yours.

His eyes were closed, but it took you a couple of seconds for you to respond and close your own eyes, melting into his kiss.

Physical contact with him wasn't common. Sure, cuddles and hugs were something that happens a lot between the two of you, but kisses and small stuff like caressing each other's faces was something that was a little on the rare side.

You slowly slide your hands away from his and instantly your arms found their way around his neck, your fingers tangling themselves in his locks.

"I'm sorry if I don't make you feel loved enough," he confesses as he pulls away from you.

You turn your head away from him, "I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that,"

His hands take hold of the hem of his hoodie, pulling it and the t-shirt below it above his head and tossing somewhere in the room.

You knew what he was after, and you weren't going to deny him of it. There was so much tension between the two of you, and it was something that would eventually be released.

He moves down to your top, pulling it quickly off you, exposing your chest to him and the cool air.

You gasp as his lips touch yours again. It had been a little while since you had been this intimate with him, and you desperately didn't want to let go of him.

Your fingers lightly press on his lower stomach, tracing their way down to his tracksuit bottoms. You tug on the waistband a bit before pulling them and his boxers down, his erection springing free from the fabric.

He continues to kiss you as he kicks off his remaining clothes.

You were just in a pair of panties now, which his fingers had already looped around. He releases you from the kiss, moving to the side so that you could remove your pantied yourself.

He hovers over you again, his hand gently cups your neck, thumb on your mouth. He liked being like this with you, his rough hands would grab you anywhere, waiting for a reaction from you. It was like he was playing a level of one of his games, he liked conquering you like he would one of his game.

"Kenma," you moan, snapping him out of his thoughts.

His hands moved under your knees, pulling your legs up. Your eyes looked into each other as he lined himself up with your entrance.

Your lips were captured quickly as he plunged into you, gasping into his mouth as he moved roughly inside you.

Your fingers quickly found his hair again, pulling his mouth more onto yours as your bodies collided.

He was pretty damn hard to read at times, particularly when you were at it. If he was feeling lazy, then he'd just let you set your own pace or speed. But that wasn't to say that he wasn't overly gentle with you, because it was kinda rare that he was.

The more you got intimate with him, the more you realized just how rough he could be with you. His hands would roam you while you were kissing, or grab on tightly to your legs or neck. It was like there was a little bit of a sadist inside him, which was something you didn't think he had in him. It must've been all those games that he had lost and got upset about.

Your back arched up as his pace continued to speed up, your chest meeting his.

His hands reach for yours and pin them bot down onto the bed. The looks you would give him were enough of a reason for him to speed up, as well as the beautiful moans that would leave your mouth.

"Oh, my god," you moan silently, "Kenma,"

His head hides in the crook of your neck.

Your vision blurred as you felt a knot starting to form in your stomach.

"Oh, fuck," you moan, your hands grabbing onto his.

He knew you were close, letting out small groans and hisses as your walls clench around him.

You could feel his breath against your neck, every groan and hiss he let out vibrated on your skin.

"Kenma," you cry loudly as you release onto him, your grip on his hands tightening more as you came.

Your eyes stared up, seeing nothing but the darkness that had coated the room around you.

"I do love you, you know that, right?" You heard him say softly. It caught you a little off guard.

"Maybe I overreacted," you say.

"No, you didn't,"

You smile, your hands slide away from his again and held him close to you.

"I love you too, gamer boy,"

"I like it when we're like this," his lips place a kiss on your sternum as he pulls out, then lays his head on your chest again, listening to your heartbeat.

You giggle at him, "so do I,"

Your fingers find his hair once again, but instead of pulling on his strands, your nails slightly scratch against his scalp. He like you playing with his hair.

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #kenma kozume #kenma kozume smut #kenma x reader #haikyuu #kenma x reader smut #kenma smut #kenma x y/n #kodzuken

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combat-wombatus · 4 years

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Truth or Dare

Pairing: Sero Hanta x reader

Genre: fluff, a lil bit of crack

Warnings: swearing (bakugou), but other than that, none! (unless u have traumatic memories of truth or dare)

WC: 3.1k

Summary: Mina and Denki work together to make sure that you know exactly who Sero's crush is.

(A/N): so @klvbxlove requested some headcanons about sero’s fem!crush having an obsession with kpop/anime and sero doing cute stuff for her and i tried sticking with the prompt in the beginning but then i led myself off-topic (oops) so it turned into this! sorry it’s not what u requested, i can write something else for u if u want! i was just struck by sudden ✨inspiration✨ for this fic so...here u go...

“EEEK!” You squealed, bouncing over to your friends. “LOOKLOOKLOOK-”

“(Y/L/N),” Bakugou grumbled. “Calm the fuck down, no one can understand you.”

You took a deep breath, then handed your phone over to Mina.

As soon as Mina saw the screen, she started squealing just like you were.

“(Y/N)!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG-” she grabbed your arms and started jumping up and down like an overexcited toddler.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, gave an exasperated huff, then stomped away. “Can’t deal with you idiots when you’re like this.”

Mina dragged you by your arm over to a bench on the side of the cafeteria and the two of you spent your lunch break slurping udon and watching your favorite K-pop group’s newest music video on repeat.

Sero was chatting idly with his friends, mouth full of sushi. Unbeknownst to you, he had been watching you from the corner of his eye, sneaking glances every couple of minutes. Dense as Kaminari may be academically, he had noticed Sero’s preoccupation with you throughout the meal.

“Hey bro,” He poked Sero’s elbow with the clean end of his chopstick. “Whaddya keep looking at (Y/L/N)-chan for?” He squinted at Sero. He glanced briefly at you, and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, turned his eyes back on Sero. “Do you have a crush on her or something?”

Sero choked on his piece of salmon and spluttered, face beet red. “N-no! It’s not l-like that!”

Bakugou snorted. “You dumbass. The hell you mean ‘it’s not like that’? Any idiot with eyes and half a brain can see that you’re obsessed with her.”

As Sero tried to deny his feelings for you, Mina slowly shifted her attention from your phone to hers, which was dinging incessantly.

Kaminari

hey bro bro broski my man my lady? minaaaaa

Mina

asdkjfhluhal i told u to stop calling me that and what

Kaminari

so u know abt seros crush right

Mina

u have the AUDACITY to ask me, the queen of gossip, whether or not I know abt seros crush? the sheer AUDACITY is STAGGERING-

Kaminari

ok ok stop bullying me anyways wanna get them tog?

Mina

D U H would be easier if y/n wasn’t so dense and sero wasn’t so chicken

Kaminari

since ur in do u have a plan

Mina grinned. Of course she did. What kind of person did Kaminari think she was?

Mina

take sero to the boba place after school meet u there

Pocketing her phone, she turned back to face you. She had to resist the urge to cackle. This was gonna be fun.

Later that day, you and Mina walked to the dorms together.

“Whaddya say we go out today?” Mina asked excitedly, eyes gleaming. You found it a bit suspicious, since yesterday she had told you that she was failing math and was going to study with Yaomomo today.

“Didn’t you say you were going to study with Yaomomo?”

“Shit.” Mina face palmed. “I did, didn’t I? But I don’t waannnnaaa,” she whined. “Let’s just go out and get some boba and we’ll come back,” she promised, giving you the puppy dog eyes.

“Okay, okay.” You relented. “But if you fail math again, don’t blame it on me.”

She clasped a hand to her chest dramatically. “I would NEVER.”

Giggling, the two of you made your way to Coco’s Café, a cozy little place that served everything from coffee to cookies. It was also a developing cat café, mostly due to the popularity of the kitty that the place was named for, Coco.

Sidling up to the counter, you ordered a matcha boba tea while Mina ordered a strawberry milk tea with lychee jelly and boba.

“Is that it for you ladies today?” The man behind the counter asked cheerfully.

“Yes please!” Mina replied. The two of you sat in a corner booth, sipping your drinks and gossiping.

“Hey (Y/N),” Mina started. “So you know about Sero’s crush, right?”

You halted mid-sip. What? Sero had a crush?

Laughing at your startled expression, Mina leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner. “So,” she whispered. “Who do you think it is?”

You sat there, drink forgotten, racking your brain for possibilities. Jirou and Hagakure hung out with Sero sometimes, exchanging memes and goofing around, but they weren’t really around that often. Usually, Sero only hung out with Kaminari, Kirishima, Bakugou, Mina, and you. Mina, possibly? Was Sero gay? Did he have a thing for, say, Kaminari or Kirishima? You didn’t think that Sero would be the type to like Bakugou, but hey, he put up with Bakugou’s temper all the time, so maybe? Ugh. You resisted the urge to groan and drop your head into your hands. This was so complicated.

Mina sat back, this reaction obviously not being what she had hoped for. “Well?” She crossed her arms. “Do you have a guess yet?”

You thought about it, then decided to pick an answer randomly. “You?” You tried.

Mina snorted and almost spit out her drink. You were absolutely unbelievable. Of all the people you could’ve chosen, you picked HER? “No, (Y/N). It’s not me,” she managed to choke out in between fits of laughter.

You sprawled out on the table, no longer concealing your frustration. “Who is it then?” You whined. “Jirou? Hagakure? Is Sero gay?”

Mina actually did spit out her drink this time.

As she cleaned up her mess, Mina silently judged you with her signature side-eye. She really is that dense, huh. Guess I’ll have to knock some sense into her.

Furiously brainstorming, you tried to think of any more possibilities. As you sat in silence, something warm and fuzzy crawled sneakily onto your lap, and stayed there.

Knocked from your daze, you glanced down and the unfamiliar presence, only to realize that it was a kitty. THE kitty. Coco, the café’s namesake.

“Aww,” you cooed, lightly scratching behind her ears. She purred happily in response to your ministrations and curled into herself, tail tucked neatly around her haunches.

Just then, the doorbell jingled and the rest of your close friends walked in.

“Hey!” Kaminari chirped, giving you and Mina a lighthearted wave.

“Hey!” You replied, unaware of the glare Mina was currently giving Kaminari. As soon as they went up to order, Mina stood up and announced that she was going to the bathroom. You took out your phone and scrolled through your social media feeds, taking advantage of this time to research.

“Psst!” Mina pinched Kaminari’s elbow lightly.

“Ow! What?” Kaminari turned to face her.

Mina gave Kaminari her scariest glare. “I told you to bring Sero, not the whole squad!”

Kaminari whimpered. “But Kirishima heard and wanted to tag along too! And it would’ve been suspicious if I said no! And then Bakubro heard that Kiri was coming and decided to come too-”

Mina sighed. “You could’ve texted Sero in private!”

Scratching the back of his head, Kaminari gave Mina a sheepish smile. “Sorry Mina, I hadn’t thought of that”.

Mina stole a quick glance back at your table, and seeing that you were otherwise occupied, she turned her attention back to Kaminari.

“So, Stage 1 of the plan didn’t work. She didn’t even seem to consider herself as a possibility! However, no fear! It is time that we put Stage 2 into action!” Mina whisper-shouted. “It’ll be more complicated with Kiri and Bakugou present, but we always have a Plan B!” She quickly related her backup plan to Kaminari, who promised to tell the boys (minus Sero) to make it run more smoothly.

After giving Kaminari a quick fist bump, Mina slinked back into her seat. “So, (Y/N),” she paused, chin resting on her hand. “Since the boys are here, why don’t we ask Sero himself?”

You looked up from your phone. You hadn’t really found any clues as to who Sero’s crush could be. Most, if not all, of his posts were with your group of friends. You thought about it for a moment.

“Wouldn’t it be awkward if he didn’t want us to know?” You asked Mina.

“Oh, but we’re nosy friends! It’s our JOB to know and then tease him about it!” Mina giggled. “And besides,” she added. “Aren’t you even a little bit curious?”

You hesitated. She did have a point. You were curious, but at the same time, a little voice in the back of your brain nagged at you. Did you really want to know? Did you really want to see him crushing on someone else, and then tease him about it? That wouldn’t really be funny, for you, at least. But if you disagreed with Mina, it would be suspicious, and besides, you WERE curious. Even if the answer wasn’t the one you wanted, you would still rather it be out in the open than bottled inside. You’d rather know for certain than lose sleep over it at night.

Sighing, you relented. “Sure. What did you have in mind?”

Mina rested both of her elbows on the table and smiled at you, eyes gleaming with mischief.

“Truth or dare.”

As the boys returned, each holding their own drinks, Mina was bouncing in her seat. Bakugou and Kirishima each pulled up a chair, and Sero took the chance to sit next to you. At that, Mina smirked devilishly.

“So,” she grinned, fingertips dancing on the table. “Let’s play truth or dare.”

Bakugou huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. He couldn’t believe he’d been roped into this, but Kirishima and Kaminari wouldn’t let him ruin it. Kirishima dropped a fist on the table. “Yeah!” He turned towards Mina. “Who’s starting?”

Mina pretended to think about it, when in reality, she had already made plans.

“How about (Y/N)?”

“Me?” You raised an eyebrow. You thought that Mina would be the one to interrogate Sero.

“Yes you, dummy,” Mina teased. “Is there another (Y/N) sitting here?”

You rolled your eyes. “Who are you calling dummy?”

Mina grumbled. “Just get on with it, would you? Who are you going to ask?”

“Hmm. How about Sero?” You turned to face him. “Truth or dare?”

Sero was panicking. You weren’t the type to give out ridiculous dares, and he definitely needed to be cautious about truth. “Dare.” He said confidently.

You chuckled. Mina had prepared you for this possibility.

“I dare you to kiss your crush within the next 24 hours,” you said, “and the whole squad had to be there to see it.”

Mina and Kaminari let out simultaneous “oohs”. Bakugou pointed out the obvious. “Why the next 24 hours?”

“Because we don’t know who his crush is and they’re probably not here right now,” you answered. “And the whole squad will have to see it to make sure that he does it and doesn’t chicken out. You’ll have to ask their permission first, though,” you added. “Consent is key. Even if they turn you down, as long as you tried, we’ll count the dare as completed.”

Your friends nodded in agreement. Mina clapped her hands gleefully. “You should’ve known, Sero! You can’t hide things from us!”

Sero was *this* close to having a panic attack. He had to consciously remind himself to keep breathing. This is going to be so embarrassing how am I going to do this without making an utter and complete fool of myself gosh you really should’ve not stared at her at lunch today Sero or this wouldn’t have happened jeez are you really that dumb now the whole squad will know and you won’t be able to look her in the eye anymore adfkhiavelrsnjaerliaevr BREATHE SERO BREATHE-

The game continued. Mina dared Bakugou to smile for 5 consecutive minutes, at which Bakugou nearly flew out of his seat, palms crackling.

“You fucking extra how dare you-” He didn’t get to finish, as Mina quickly took out her phone and opened the timer app.

“And the countdown starts now!” She cackled. “That is, unless you forfeit-”

“I’M NOT GONNA LOSE TO YOU, YOU DUMB FUCKING EXTRA!!!” With that, Bakugou angrily took his seat again, disregarding all the angry scowls he received from the rest of the café’s patrons, and pulled his lips up into what could only be described as the devil’s grin. He sat like that for a full five minutes, glaring lasers into Mina, not moving a muscle. You think Mina was mentally scarred after that, because she never looked at Bakugou for the rest of the game.

Kirishima dared Kaminari to record a video of him singing the pi song and send it to Jirou. The poor boy had so many voice cracks while singing it that Kirishima went easy on him and told him to just send the first 15 seconds.

Bakugou dared you to let everyone look through your phone for one minute. You were reluctant, but seeing as you were relatively normal with only minimal embarrassing photos, no confession texts, and a fairly clean search history, you let them do it. The most embarrassing thing they found was your playlist.

“How the fuck is your playlist 74 hours and 42 minutes? What the fuck do you have on here?” Bakugou held out your phone for the rest of your friends to see.

“And why is your history full of that shitty Korean music?”

You gasped. He did not.

“Hey!” You snatched your phone back. “If you’re going to insult my music, you don’t get to continue!”

“Tch.” Bakugou sneered. “You call that shit music?”

You were thoroughly offended by this point and refused to even acknowledge his statement. You glared at Bakugou with as much intensity as you could muster. This man had no taste in music whatsoever.

The 1-minute timer dinged, and Bakugou was saved from a scathing talking-to as you all moved onto the next victim.

Mina was dared to order a glass of milk with ice, then put it on a random table (with customers) and leave without an explanation. She ended up choosing an old couple, likely in their sixties, who were cuddling with two cats. They’d each ordered a cup of coffee and shared a plate of cookies. When Mina put the glass of iced milk on their table, and the two women shared a confused look before turning their attention to Mina.

“Thank you?” The lady with horn-rimmed glasses asked rather shakily.

“Yes, thank you very much young lady, but we didn’t order this?” The one who had a tabby on her lap said, perplexed, looking Mina up and down.

Mina made a motion with her hand, zipping her lips, then giggled and sat back down at your table. The two ladies, baffled, took one look at your table and seemed to understand what was going on. They turned back to their coffees and cats and resumed their conversation.

You had all gone one full circle, and everyone had finished their drinks, so you all decided that it was time to go. You rubbed between Coco’s ears one last time and walked out into the afternoon sun.

“Hey Sero!” Kirishima clapped Sero on his back. “Don’t think we’ve forgotten about your dare,” he smiled cheekily. “Better get it over with when we first head back into the dorms, huh? That’ll probably be the easiest time to get it over with.”

Sero groaned. He’d hoped that you would all forget after the game was over, but his luck had run dry. He’d have to face the music sooner or later. He debated on his options. If he waited too long, he’d seem cowardly. He didn’t want to do that. On the other hand, maybe if he waited a full day, you would all forget? He shook his head. No, with Mina here, she’d never let him live it down. And besides, who was he to renege on a dare?

Taking his hands out of his pockets, he rubbed them together nervously. This was it. This was the moment of truth.

“Hey guys! Wait up!” He called out to Kirishima and Bakugou, who had walked ahead of the group. “I’ve got something to show you!”

Bakugou quirked an eyebrow. “Oh?” He smirked. “Whatcha got, Tape Arms?”

Sero cleared his throat. “I-I’m ready. I’m ready to do the dare.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was just you and the rest of the squad here. Did you really have a chance? You were scared to get your hopes up, but maybe, just maybe, you would be the one he kissed.

Hands curled into fists at his sides, Sero gulped. He was doing this. He was really doing this. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and out, and strode over to where you and Mina stood.

“(Y/N),” He stared at his feet. “Would you…would you allow me to kiss you?”

You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to calm yourself down. It was you. Sero had a crush on you. Your crush liked you back!

After a while, Bakugou felt the need to step in.

“Oi, dumbass!” He hollered, garnering the attention of curious passerby. “You gonna let Soy Sauce Face over there kiss you or not?”

Your face flushed a furious red. “U-Umm, y-yeah!” You stuttered. “You can kiss me, Sero!” You cringed at how excited you sounded.

Slowly, Sero tilted his face downwards. He lifted your chin tenderly and lowered his lips to yours. His lips were soft against yours, his breath tickling your cheek as he let go. You blushed harder than you ever thought was possible, and he looked down with a pleased smile.

“Thanks, (Y/N).” He said in a soft voice. “Can I take this as a sign that you have feelings for me too?”

Nodding frantically, you whispered a noncommittal “mhm”.

“Can’t hear you, sweets,” Sero teased. “Come on, I’m gonna need a verbal confirmation.”

Looking up at him, you cleared your throat. “Yes.” You whispered in a slightly louder tone. “Yes, I h-have feelings for you too.”

At this admission, your friends all cheered, Mina hooting especially loudly. “Hells yeah!” She high-fived Kaminari. “We did it!”

“Best wingmen ever!” Kaminari shouted.

“That was so manly of you Sero!” Kirishima added, flashing a thumbs-up. “Congrats!”

“Tch. Yeah, whatever. Finally got it in their thick skulls that they liked each other. Big fucking deal,” Bakugou grumbled.

“Hey, hey! Don’t you go and ruin the mood now!” Mina scolded him. “Just look at them! They look so happy!” She pointed towards you and Sero.

“Hmph. Well, those idiots could’ve been happier sooner if Sero had the fucking balls to confess earlier.”

“Oh, shut it already! Just be glad that they’re finally together!”

“Like I care.”

“Stop pretending, you big grouch! We all know you care!”

“Tch.”

Masterlist

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thewayshedreamed · 3 years

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Follower Celebration!

Thank you so much to all of you who follow me and consume my content. I’ll try to avoid being overly mushy here, but y’all have been so good to me since I started writing. It’s a little wild to me that there are 800 of you who choose to stick around, but I love you eternally for it! ❤️

This is something I’ve wanted to do for several milestones prior, but as time does, it flew by! I’ve really wanted to do something to show my appreciation to each and every one of you, so I want to have an 800-follower prompt-a-thon!

I’ve included links to a few prompt lists, but your prompt doesn’t necessarily have to come from these. I just wanted to make it a bit easier for those of you who didn't have something specific in mind! Feel free to combine a couple of prompts in the same request if you want something specific.

To participate, please send me an ask with your desired prompt(s) and the ship you want featured.

Ships/ Pairings:

ACoTaR:

Nessian

Feysand

Elucien

Elriel

Gwynriel

ToG:

Rowaelin

Manorian

Elorcan

Lysaedion

Prompt Lists:

Angst + Soft + Smut + Random Prompts Angst Dialogue Prompts Fluff + Angst + General prompts, Part 1 • Part 2 Physical Touch Prompts Smutty One-liner Prompts

Note: please miss me with the ship wars. That’s not what this follower celebration is about in the slightest, and I want to show appreciation to anyone who has enjoyed my content. If you happen to see a drabble featuring a ship you don’t like, you’re welcome to keep scrolling and refrain from consuming said content. What we’re not going to do, on any day, is bring hate to this blog. So far, I’ve managed to keep things positive, and I would love to keep it that way.

For each prompt I receive, I will write a short drabble of around 800 words! This event aims to show appreciation, but I’m also challenging myself to brevity with it! (Those of you who regularly read my fics know this is not my strength).

My goal is to fill as many prompts as possible! Hope to see some of you lovelies in my ask box 💕

Send me an ask! • Question? Send me a message! • More? My Masterlist + Celebration Masterlist

#acotar fanfic #tog fanfic #nessian #feysand #rowaelin #manorian #elorcan #lysaedion #twsd fics #twsd writes #follower celebration #800 followers #thewayshedreamed #follower love

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non-un-topo · 3 years

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if you could give a member of tog a power from the umbrella academy what would it be and why? i live for ur headcanons i hope your day/night gets better :") <33

HELLO I LOVE YOU FOR THIS ASK, THIS IS AWESOME (and tysm I'm already feeling better having seen this!! ;w;).

Andy

The most obvious thing would be to give Andy Luther's super strength, with her being the leader and a warrior, etc, and I hate to sound cliche but I think I really want to stick with that?? Andy is already lethal enough, but imagine her swinging her labrys around with added super strength...... We Would Not Survive. (Though maybe I'd omit the monkey-transformation hgdfg but I already headcanon her as Extremely Hairy, so).

(Alternatively, I can also see Andy with Klaus' power! Being haunted by ghosts of her past, etc).

Quynh

Diego's power is pretty appropriate here, but I think I'd rather see her with Ben's! Something about Quynh's ""madness"" post-iron maiden reminds me of Ben and essentially his inability to properly control his power. He's got this horrible eldritch monster that can come through a portal inside him and tbh I wouldn't know what to do about that either and I would be pretty afraid of it?? So, Quynh's mental state post-iron maiden could totally pertain to that.

Nile

I would give Nile Vanya's power because she's the newest to immortality (and Vanya spent her whole life not knowing she had powers), and I feel like Vanya's struggle with not being able to control her powers yet could relate to Nile's struggle with finding her place as a new immortal / discovering her abilities (Not saying that Vanya flipping a car is like Nile jumping out a window, but. Y'all are both figuring our your limits and strengths and being sort of impulsive about it hgfdsfg).

Joe

I struggled a little with matching one for Joe?? I guess he would have Allison's power! Joe is pretty charismatic/charming, but I don't know that he's really manipulative (I think the manipulating-with-speeches thing relates more to Nicky). I suppose Joe could also have Vanya's power (I'm thinking about how her power sometimes works through her music, where Joe's could somehow work through his art)!

Nicky

I would definitely give Nicky Diego's power, if only because of Nicky's pinpoint accurate sniping skills. Imagine him redirecting bullets (or knives, or arrows, if we're going back in time) and just taking out an entire room (or gang of bandits), like OH MY GOD?? (Bonus points if he takes em all out with one arrow/knife).

Booker

I think I would give Booker Five's power! Something something, Booker is stuck in the past (regarding his sons' deaths) and his grief completely blocks his path to living fully in the present, while Five got stuck in the future because of his rashness and his fixation on testing his powers (and probably something to do with not wanting to live in the present). Also, imagining Booker doing spatial jumps from the couch to the kitchen to piss the others off / jumpscare them is so funny to me. Sure makes struggling up the stairs drunk easier (sorry!!!).

#dsfgfds this was so much fun omg thank you #ask #bubbise #<333333333

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jstlikemagic · 4 years

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One Night Chance. - Jeff Wittek Imagine

Title: One Night Chance.

Pairings: Jeff Wittek/Reader

Rating: R (For swears tho)

Summary: Being friends with benefits has always been fun but what about when two makes three? Also, what are the chances Y/N goes into labor at Jeff’s stand-up show?

TW: Drugs and alcohol (both lightly mentioned)

A/N: Hi y’all! Ya girl is BACK AGAIN!!! This time I have a “pre-sober” Jeff imagine! I decided to write this because I really wanted to write something pregnancy-related, a little bit of a comedy, and also something serious. If you liked this, please reblog/like! Thank you!

MY MASTERLIST

Taking a good look around Jeff’s dressing room, you started having flashbacks about what life was like eight months ago. The patron that was spilt on the carpet, reminded you of all times you and the guys would get fucked up at David’s house parties. The keef residue that was left on the table, reminded you of when you’d just be chilling in the living room with a bong in your hand, thinking life couldn’t get any better. You were so happy with your lifestyle and how much fun you’d been having. Soon enough though, life took a turn.

-Eight Months Ago-

The past few weeks had been rough. You were so tired that you almost fell asleep in the car a few times. You were so hungry, that Postmates was your new best friend. The toilet was your new home since you’d been puking and pissing a lot recently. Feeling uneasy one day and puking up a delicious breakfast burrito, you had that feeling.

Forcing yourself up from the bathroom floor, you grabbed your car keys and busted out of your apartment. Jumping into your car, you floored it to the nearest convenience store. After you parked your car, you speed walked into the store due to your heightened anxiety. As you walked down the aisles, you finally spotted the women’s health aisle. Pregnancy tests. Pregnancy tests. Where would those be. A lightbulb shot up in your head once you spotted the array of pee sticks. Shaky hands reached for the Clear Blue pregnancy tests, grabbing eight “just in case.” Going up to the counter, you hurriedly placed the tests on the counter. “Aw, sweetie. I see the anticipation. Have you been trying?” said the counter employee.

“Yes, I’m very much anticipating a little shit that’s gonna run my money dry and ruin my life,” you sarcastically said. With the employee looking shocked as hell and you already handing the cash over, you decided it was best to just leave as fast as possible. Taking the bag, you gave one of those bitchy smiles and said “have a nice day.” Fucking bitch.

Flooring it home, you nearly sprinted into your bathroom. Making sure you could provide for eight samples, you drank at least three bottles of water. After providing for each sample, you left each test on the sink counter.

You weren’t going to cry but god damn, what if you were actually pregnant… with Jeff’s baby. The two of you were only friends, who fooled around occasionally. Backtracking to how possible it could be, you started freaking yourself out even more. Jeff had been fucking you for at least three months straight so that’d be very possible. Plus, you both relied on the “reliable” pull out method.

Creeping back into the bathroom seven out of the eight tests looked like they were done. With both ends on the edge of the counter, your head slowly drooped down to look at the sticks. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Not Pregnant, oh I like this one. Pregnant. Suddenly, you saw the last test blinking which meant it was about to read the result. Every last bit of you wanted it to say not pregnant but it didn’t even matter at this point. Still keeping hope alive, you lifted the stick up to your face. Pregnant.

Well, the next obstacle was telling Jeff you were having his baby.

-One Week Later-

“Hey Y/N. What’s up?” His voice alone could make your heart flutter. Reconsidering if a phone call was how you wanted to do this, you erased the consideration out of your head and proceeded with the phone call. It was easier anyways, you wouldn’t be able to see the shock and disappointment on his face.

“So, I have some big news. I mean I guess not big news, small news as of now that will get bigger eventually,” you spoke really fast.

“Did ya get the job ya wanted? I know you’re only a secretary but you’ll work your way up and life will be great!” he exclaimed.

Trying not to be salty because you didn’t get the job he was talking about, you laughed it off. “I, uh-, didn’t get the job. I actually have some other news that involves you. I’m pregnant and it’s very much yours,” you blurted It out. Without hearing his response, you felt a huge weight just fall off your shoulders. Hearing a sigh come from the other end of the phone, it was soon followed by empty moments of silence.

“Are ya sure? Like are you sure that you’re pregnant? And are ya sure that you want this? Y/N, we’re in our 20s. We’re living it up and living our best lives.”

“Jeff, I am 100% pregnant. I’ll mail you out all the sticks I pissed on. You can have all water bottles I used too.” Taking a moment to think of his last question, you started to feel hot tears roll down your cheek. “I think I want this. This could be my wakeup call to cut the shit. This is my endgame... Actually, of course I want this. I think what I want to know is, do you want this? I’ll do this with or without-“

“Yes, I want this. I want you. I want this baby. I just wanted to put the ball in your court because it is your body, your choice. The idea of having a baby right now is a little frightening but maybe I need this wakeup call too. Ya know we do stupid shit. I wanna have someone to wanna come home to. I wanna have someone pop in my head every time I see ten shots lined up for me and it makes me not want to do it. With that being said. I’m down if you’re down,” he interrupted. Feeling so overwhelmed by his support and letting you have this decision just made you burst into tears.

-Eight Months Later-

Getting up to go the bathroom, which felt like the millionth time today, Jeff grabbed your hand to help lift you off that comfortable couch. “I got this,” you agitatedly said. Being almost nine months pregnant, you hated everything. You either puked or pissed yourself. The smell of certain food would throw you over the edge. Moving around got harder because your huge belly that got in the way. You also partially resented Jeff because he shot his sperm up inside of you. He was really good dealing with your mood swings though. He knew when to give you space and is very assuring about everything you do.

Walking into the bathroom, you lifted your dress up and pulled your underwear down so fast, just to make sure you didn’t piss your pants. Immediately sitting on the toilet, you could feel some pressure in your uterus from the sudden and fast movements. Placing one hand on your stomach, you said “I’m sorry, baby. Mommy’s just making sure she doesn’t spring a leak on this god-awful linoleum floor. But I just want to let you know, that you need to get the fuck out of me.” Your voice got louder every word in your last sentiment.

“Is everything okay in there?” Jeff hollered from the other side of the dressing room.

“Yes, and please shut the fuck up. I’m concentrating!” you screamed back while rolling your eyes. Sitting on the toilet, you suddenly felt a huge wave of liquid pass through you. Knowing you didn’t put any pressure like you were pissing, your first instinct was to get up and look in the toilet. You immediately wiped yourself and threw that in the toilet. Spotting a little bit of blood and few solid pieces which resembled skin, you knew it was time. The time. Feeling a wave of panic and anxiety, you flushed the toilet, washed your hands, and called Jeff over to the front of the bathroom door. With a smile on his face, he dutifully walked towards you.

“What’s up, baby? Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?” he started questioning you. He could tell from the look on your face that something was happening.

“Okay, so don’t panic. That’s my first rule okay,” you whispered, making sure no one else was going to hear the next thing. “I believe that I’m in labor but like not too sure. But I think I am.” Seeing Jeff’s eyes go wide, you immediately covered his mouth with your hand. “Don’t you fucking say anything. Help me get in the tour bus and figure this out.” Threatening him wasn’t a part of the plan and you had to do what was necessary so no one else in the room heightened the panic.

Jeff took your hand and led you through what felt like endless rooms to the cool outside. While passing by people, you painted a smile on your face. The last thing you wanted was for someone to tweet that you were in labor. This whole pregnancy, you had been scared if any information would leak. Such as if the hospital was leaked and people put two-and-two together, that fans would show up. Finally reaching the bus, he grabbed both of your hands and walked you up the bus. You went to sit down onto the couch but instantly felt a contraction. People weren’t kidding when they said contractions were a bitch. As the contraction passed through your body, you finally sat yourself down with him right next to you.

“Not to be an insensitive asshole but I also have a show in like thirty minutes but we’re also having a baby! I’m gonna look up online how to stop labor for a little bit, just to buy us time.” Never have you ever shot him such a nasty ass look. You didn’t give a flying fuck about his show, you had a baby who just received their eviction notice.

“No! You can’t just web it the fuck up and expect it to stop!” you screamed. Out of everything he could’ve said during this stressful time, he decided to say that. Feeling another contraction, you threw your head backed and moaned at the pain. Looking at Jeff, you both just knew you two were in for one hell of a night, maybe even days. If there’s one thing you two understood was that you agreed on this together and knew you two have to work together to get this baby out.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagines #jeff wittek blurbs #vlog squad imagines

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librarian-of-orynth · 6 years

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what's your opinion on the acotar movie and tog show?

Okay so I’m less worried about the tog show than I am about the acotar movie. Granted, I’m not a fan of either happening (let some books stay books, people!) but I think with a tv show there’s more time and space tell a nuanced story. So I think the tog show has potential to be good. Unfortunately, though, most adaptations don’t stick to canon as much as I’d like, so that also worries me.

Now for the acotar movie. I mean…my first reaction when it was announced was no no no this shouldn’t happen. I’m not too happy about it happening, but at the end of the day, if it’s cast right and cast well maybe it could be good? I’m probably gonna end up seeing it anyway, tbh, and just separating it from the books so it doesn’t ruin the series for me if it’s bad. That’s my plan for the tv show, too. Making distinctions between the two and keeping them as their own separate entities makes it a lot easier to not be as disappointed.

#zoe answers #acotar #tog

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beingdreeyore · 6 years

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Hi. So I’m in the same boat as you. Not contacting an ex and I just contacted them and I wasn’t supposed to. What do you do to help you control your urges? Ik the more I contact the more they push away, but they won’t answer and now I feel like I’m dying. What can I do to help not feel this way?

Heya. I’m not a therapist or in any way qualified to give advice, so I can only speak to what has worked for me.

For me, it definitely gets easier the more time that goes on. As in, if I send a text, there is always another text to be sent. But if I can go a couple of days, then the urge to contact them will drop to a 7 or 8 out of 10, and from there I can manage it okay.

DBT was the only thing that has really worked for me. I do lots of meditating on what I’m feeling. I distract myself (it sounds odd, but I used to think that if you have an emotion you just drown in it. That’s what emotions are for). I try to eat healthy so I feel good in myself (failing at that this week hardcore...), do exercise like yoga and pilates that is centred on breathing (also failing at that this week...). Spend more time with people who I know will support me through all my crap decisions and will let me be sad, which somehow means that I end up laughing more with them...

One of the big things I remind myself of in the moment though, when the urge to call or text is really high, is just that whatever it is that I want, I’m not going to get. Say, for example, I’m desperate to hear from him. Maybe he will reply. But it’s only one text. It’s vague. That will trigger the next spiral - it wasn’t enough. Or say he doesn’t reply. That too will trigger the next spiral because why doesn’t he care about me as much as I care about him?? Or say he sends 100 texts. I will want 101. It will never be enough because what I’m desperate for is to fill an emptiness inside me. That’s what BPD is. Nothing he does can ever fill that, it has to be me that fixes it. The only response that will make me happy is “I love you. I want to be with you.” There is a 99.999999999% chance that isn’t what I’m going to get. So by texting him I have to accept that I have signed on to make myself sadder.

I keep those thoughts in my head a lot. I also remind myself that while getting him to contact me is important, if there is a chance to save the relationships and I don’t validate his request for space by giving him that, then the relationship is doomed. I lose my self-respect by feeling out of control and he loses respect for me because I look out of control.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but I am running late for DBT! Please believe that though a list is easy to write-out, these things take time and practice. I think it took six months of failing at applying these before it finally started to get a fraction easier. It’s still not easy, but it’s become more of a habit - such a nice change from the habit of blowing up his phone. I’ve gone nearly three weeks now without contacting him and if I’d you’d asked me six months ago if that was possible, I would’ve told you that I was no chance.

The other sad thought I hang onto, is that if he isn’t coming back, if he is done with me, then I have zero interest in stroking his ego. I don’t want to be hanging onto something that doesn’t want to hang onto me. If he can’t see my worth, then what worth could I possibly be seeing in chasing him?? I don’t want to be that woman who was obsessed with him and couldn’t move on. I love him and I wanted to save our relationship. Absolutely to both. But if he never loved me and still doesn’t want me or want to give it the time to move to the next level, then I have wasted enough time and tears here. I want a family and a life filled with love. I won’t get that while I’m hanging onto someone who views me as an inconvenience.

That last point has taken three weeks of telling myself daily and crying each time I do. It’s not an easy thought to have, it hurts like hell, but there’s truth in it. Someone can break your heart and be completely wrong for you. Life can be cruel. Loving someone isn’t a reason to stick around. I also realised that I had committed to him like this was a marriage. Why? He never honoured me with marriage and he never viewed it the same way.

So, yes I love him, yes more of me wants us to stay together than doesn’t, but I’m preparing myself for a sad outcome. It makes it easier not to contact.

Okay, super late for group now!! Hope this helped! Sorry I rambled. I do that...

If it doesn’t make sense (good chance! haha) please ask questions xx

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darkbouquetartisanlove · 4 years

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