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amateurmagic · 5 years ago

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Red [TodoDekuIida] - BNHA Secret Santa 2019

Hey there @dnd-beyond!! Surprise surprise!! I’m your secret santa for the @dailybnha Secret Santa event!! I’ve been grappling with writer’s block for the past few weeks so sorry that this meanders and rambles a bunch--I promise I tried!!

I’ve never written anything from Iida’s POV and that turned out to be harder then I thought it’d be, considering I seriously identify with his neuroticism lmao. I also kept running out of synonyms for the three, so sorry it might get a little repetitive with me constantly reusing their names in dialogue

Because I’m a perfectionist at heart, I might try and do an edit or a rewrite of this in a few weeks. If I do, I’ll tag you in the revision if you’d like.

Anywho, happy holidays!! Hope they’re wonderful and have a happy start to the new year and new decade!!

Red.

The smell of damp concrete.

And the sound of steel clattering against the street.

Iida felt his pulse rise in his throat again, fingertips trembling against the pavement, only grasping at dust. A hoarse breath exhaled from his throat, still raw, emitting a rough snarl—just like—

Metal scraped against the ground—probably more of his armor. Iida’s eyes swiveled back against the quirk’s hold to assess the damage only for his gaze to land on something else. Something unfamiliar. A tattered piece of cloth.

Red scarf.

And the scrape of metal.

Presently he became aware of the array of chipped blades that surrounded him paralyzed on the street. His limbs now shrunken to almost skeleton-like proportions, wrapped in tattered bindings. His hands now long and bony and his fingers now too skinny from his expected proportions. Rolling his tongue around in his mouth, he felt his teeth at new angles and a new lack of space as the muscle pressed against the interior of his newly-hollow cheeks.

I am…

Pressing against the ground, his teeth gritted as he felt a new bolt of pain shoot through his arm as his brain registered the feeling of cool dampness against his skin. Bile rose in the back of his throat as the iron scent of blood invaded his senses. He choked back the urge to retch.

A pair of shadows fell over his crumpled form, heroes glowing in a backdrop of light. Their shoes only mere inches from his face.

“We’ve come to apprehend you, Hero Killer.”

Their voices made his body run cold—their authoritative tone echoing against the closing space of the alley where the shadows ran long.

Straining to look up, Iida couldn’t hold back the new series of shudders that shot down his spine as he recognized the two heroes of his judgment day.

“Todoroki,” he managed to choke out. “Midoriya.”

“Silence!” Todoroki barked sharply, his eyes cold.

“We have come to apprehend you for your crime against heroes,” Midoriya continued.

What crimes?! Hero!! I am a—

“No!! I—!!” Iida felt himself begin to protest before a small voice in the back of his mind argued otherwise. The selfishness. Ignoring Manual’s orders. The countless hero codes he’d broken the course of that one night. “I am—“

“Iida,” Todoroki’s voice sneered again, his palm reaching out as his flame began to ignite. Against the darkening peripheral shadows, a thin bolt of green energy zapped against the background.

Coward.

Iida pressed his forehead against the pavement against his mind’s conviction.

Iida.

“Iida.”

“IIDA!!”

Iida’s eyes flew open again, now met with a hazy outline of a dim room lit by only one fluorescent source. He found himself drawn to the familiar blob in the shape and hue of Midoriya’s hair as the boy continued to shake him awake. Reaching out, his left hand fumbled with his glasses on his nightstand as pain shot back up his arm.

“He—here,” Midoriya stammered retrieving his glasses from the floor and passing them to him.

Behind the familiar lenses, Iida’s eyes surveyed his surroundings as his heart continued to pound.

White. Monitors. Fluorescent lighting. Hospital gowns.

The clock on the wall read 3:07 in illuminated numbers.

Staring down at himself, Iida found himself dressed in a pale blue hospital gown, his legs tangled in his sheets, and both arms wrapped in bandages and his left one in a sling—that explained the misjudgment of his reach. His hand came up to his bare throat, now clammy with sweat, to reassure himself that there was nothing resembling a scarf there. Turning to continue to stare confused at the door, he watched Todoroki exchange a few words with a nurse at the door before shutting the doorway again and padding back across the room.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked.

“Drink this.”

Iida nodded robotically, accepting the plastic cup of water from his classmate and shakily raised it to his lips to drink. The liquid was lukewarm, likely leftover from their afternoon of mindless channel flipping on the room’s single television, but the stale taste was oddly comforting. Something about it’s overly chlorinated taste helped him calm settle his heart rate again because there was no way a liquid of this pH and cleanliness could’ve come from his imagined alleyway.

“Y-yeah. I think so.”

“You were dreaming,” Todoroki explained simply, coming to sit back at the end of his bed and pour himself a cup of water. “It sounded like a bad one.”

“Did—did I wake you both up?” Iida asked, attempting to swallow back a building lump of shame. Their expressions answered with only pity. “S—sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Midoriya replied, his better nature taking over as he hobbled over to lean against the foot of Iida’s bed. “We’re just glad you’re alright.”

Iida nodded numbly, the heel of his palm coming up to swipe away the beading sweat from his brow. Flexing his fingers slowly, he forced himself to exhale a long breath.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Midoriya asked as he settled back on his own bed. “It sounded pretty intense.”

“No, I—I don’t want to bother you two more.”

“You didn’t,” Todoroki replied simply. “I get them too. The nightmares.”

“And if you wanna talk or anything, we’ll listen.”

Iida inwardly cringed at Midoriya’s offer—the same one he’d given on the train platform, when he’d decided he didn’t want to listen. When he’d decided to bench his normally rational thinking and hand the reins over to his own anger.

“The Hero Killer,” Iida felt himself mumble. “It was me. And you two were—there to apprehend me for my crimes against the Hero Code.”

“Oh Iida,” Midoriya echoed, his large eyes softening with concern. Iida watched him begin to reach out a hand but his body felt safer to reflexively flinch away and Midoriya retreated.

“You said your crimes against the hero ideal,” Todoroki remarked, still sitting with his arms crossed. “You mean the anger you were telling us about earlier?”

Iida nodded, his eyes tracing downward.

“And you said Midoriya and me were sent as your—executioners?”

“More like Heroes sent to apprehend a villain. But executioners also sounds accurate,” Iida replied bleakly.

“And the crimes. What exactly did you mean?”

Iida paused to awkwardly adjust his glasses. Why did he have such a big mouth when he was an emotional wreck? Some class rep persona.

“I like to think psychoanalysis of my dreams might a bit of overkill guys.”

“But if it helps you get to the heart of what you’re grappling with,” Midoriya pointed out and Iida was forced to yield to that logic.

“It’s just that, at the beginning of all this, I was so angry about what happened to my brother—and still am, to be honest—that I lost all reason. All I wanted to do was find Stain and hurt him—make him feel the same pain that he caused me, my brother, and my family. In my mind, that was justified. But as we all remember that Tsuragamae-san told us, that type of thinking is neither justified nor legal for quirk users—so that leaves me as neither a hero nor a law abiding citizen—two things I always thought I’d be.”

Iida paused for a breath, his fingers still clenched around his cup.

“I admit my judgment is still clouded. I wanted to hurt Stain so much—and, honestly, I think I still do—but I can’t deny that his ideals do resonate within me.”

“Yeah,” Deku breathed, flexing his crooked hand thoughtfully. “I’ve been thinking the same.”

“Really?” Iida looked over surprised.

Deku nodded, his curly-haired bedhead bouncing slightly.

“With such a strong resolve as his, I guess it’d be hard not to have a long hard look at your own morals,” Todoroki mumbled thoughtfully.

“The internet’s been having quite a go at it as well,” Deku responded. “There’s been a bunch of new forums started that’re trying to break down Stain’s ideals.”

“I don’t want to say that I agree with a criminal, but when you get down to the core of what he was saying, I have to admit he had a point,” Iida remarked thoughtfully.

Todoroki nodded, his brow still crinkled thoughtfully.

“So then, why did you see me and Midoriya as those passing judgment on you?”

“Because you two are worthy of being called heroes!”

The pair blinked back startled in response.

“At least that’s what I see,” Iida continued, deflating slightly from his initial response. “Back in the alleyway where I was ready to throw all reason down the drain in favor of my own selfish convictions. Then you two stepped in and brought me back to reality. You had no stakes in that fight but you came to help anyway. You put others first and protected the weak and injured. You two were heroes. And I was just in the way.”

“You saved me, Iida,” Todoroki responded evenly. “You deflected an attack that I left myself wide open for.”

“Yeah, and you helped me bring Stain down in that last attack,” Midoriya added, “With my injuries, there was no way I would’ve been able to deal enough damage on my own.”

“I think you’re both giving me far too much credit. In the moment, I was only focused on protecting you two because I was the one who put you in danger in the first place.”

“And of course we had a stake in the fight,” Deku continued. “You’re our friend. How could we not want to help you?”

“And protection of others is what it means to be a hero, isn’t it?” Todoroki remarked. “Stepping in and helping where needed, no matter the consequences to yourself.”

Iida felt a breath catch in his throat as he felt his friend’s words wash over him.

“I want to be a great hero. A cool kind of guy who’s always ready to step in quickly and help protect people!!”

Tensei…!!

“Woah, Iida,” Midoriya stammered, his eyes growing wide again.

“Wha—?”

“You’re crying,” Todoroki observed mildly.

I am…?

Blinking, Iida became aware of the small amount of liquid beginning to bead at the corners of his eyes. A long droplet fell loose from one eye and began to snake down the broad contours of his face before falling into the deeper furrows around his mouth. Placing his glasses on his leg, he began to look for something to dry his eyes.

“S—sorry!!” the dark-haired student sputtered, sloppily rubbing a part of his wrist not swathed in bandages under his glasses, only smearing the liquid more.

“Here,” Midoriya said, hovering closer with a tissue in hand. “Let me.”

Iida bit back a reflexive reply as he felt the fabric gently dab at the corners of his eyes, removing the discomfort and potential obstruction to his field of vision. Todoroki handed him back his glasses.

“Helping where needed, right?”

Iida gave a helpless chuckle as a reply. Todoroki offered a small smile of acceptance as a response while Midoriya grinned easily.

“That’s—that’s just what my brother said when I asked him what sort of hero he wanted to be,” Iida murmured, a new breath of relief leaving his lips.

“Well, it make sense,” Todoroki replied. “That’s a good hero mantle to strive for—it seems fitting for a hero that wears a suit of white armor.”

“Yeah,Tensei was the greate—“

“I meant you,” Todoroki clarified simply.

“I—I—!! Well—arum—Thank you,” Iida mumbled awkwardly. Wrinkling his nose in resistance, he couldn’t suspend the new heat that flushed to his face at his awkward classmate’s words. His eyes squinted at his body’s involuntary response. Straightening up against his pillows, he abruptly cleared his throat.

“So, Todoroki,” Iida began again, straightening his glasses. “You said you got these nightmares as well. May I inquire what about?”

“They’re—“ Todoroki shifted in his sitting position, taking a moment to exchange a look with Midoriya that made Iida immediately regret trying to expand the conversion. “Mostly about my family—about harder times.”

“Well your father is the number two hero, Endeavor, right?” Midoriya chirped. “That’s what you said back at the Sports Festival.”

Todoroki nodded.

“What about your mother?” Midoriya asked, his tone regressing to hesitancy.

Todoroki paused a moment, inhaling and then exhaling a full breath before continuing.

“She’s doing well,” he replied, a fond expression overtaking his prior grimace.

“And you have—two siblings?” Iida inquired, his mind drawing on the sparse bits and pieces of information procured in the past few months of being classmates.

“Yeah,” Todoroki replied, his distant expression back in place. “Just two. Older brother and sister.”

“Are they heroes too?”

Todoroki shook his head, a deeper grimace forming around his mouth.

“My brother’s studying to be a doctor. And my sister’s a teacher. She also looks after the house and keeps me and my brother out of trouble.” A fond smile worked its way over his face. “She’s been kind of like a second mother to me.”

“My mother raised me herself,” Midoriya added in. “My father—hasn’t been in the picture since I was a baby. I hardly remember him.”

Iida held back an impulsive flurry of questions. He hadn’t heard Midoriya ever mention his parents—except maybe during the first battle exercise when he’d mentioned that his first hero costume had been a gift. Listening to his classmates’ stories, Iida felt a new pit of something that resembled shame begin to form in his gut. He’d always had both his parents on his side—and Tensei who always knew what to say. And he wasn’t afraid to speak up about his lineage. The days of quirk breeding and eugenics was thankfully a habit of the past, and lineage was not the biggest talking point of a pro’s statistics. But it was certainly something Iida was more grateful to have then not.

“Maybe it’s better that way,” Todoroki mumbled, barely audible.

“What?” Midoriya responded reflexively from the other side of the room.

“Nothing,” Todoroki responded shortly and Midoriya backed down.

“We should probably get some sleep,” Iida felt himself suggesting as a wide yawn stretched over his face. “It’s almost 4:00, and ample recovery time necessitates a proper sleep schedule. That consists of approximately eight full hours for still-growing citizens such as ourselves.”

“Do you ever relax?” Torodoki mumbled, half tucking back under his cot’s top sheet while leaving his left leg to rest on top of the blankets.

“Erruhhm? Todoroki?” Iida cocked an eyebrow at his classmate’s sleeping habit.

“Side effect of my quirk,” the dual-haired boy replied simply. On the over side of the room, Deku gave a small snort of amusement. Iida chortled in agreement.

“What?” Todoroki inquired, sitting up confused. The duet of laughter only crescendoed.

“I—it’s nothing, Todoroki,” Deku finally managed to reply. “It’s just that a bunch of people in class have speculated about this—and now I think Sero owes me 1200 yen.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad to have been of service?”

The pair crescendoed into another fit of laughter leaving Todoroki to look on, partially confused, but not without a smile small content smile spread over his face. Blinking peacefully, he reached for the single light on the nightstand.

“Lights out?” he asked. Iida gave a nod of confirmation and Midoriya copied across the room. Todoroki’s fingers flicked against the switch, plunging the room back into a peaceful darkness.

Iida exhaled a long breath as he shifted onto his back, his eyes drawn to the fuzzy outline of the battery light on the smoke alarm embedded in the ceiling. His head still swum with thoughts of Stain’s ideology and the brief details Todoroki had supplied upon some prompting. Maybe he should’ve have asked so much? Todoroki had a good head on his shoulders—maybe a bit socially challenged, but certainly not at risk of being forced into revealing anything unwillingly. But a class rep should never be put in a position of being accused of prying. After all, Todoroki’s home life certainly wasn’t his business to meddle in.

Perhaps an apology was in order? Midoriya seemed to at least not be startled about any of the details revealed. Perhaps Todoroki trusted him more? Not that Iida had any complaint!! No, it was good that his classmates that were forming deeper connections with each other!! Truly a victory of the modern day high school heroic education system!!

“Hey, Iida,” Midoriya’s voice whispered after a moment. “You still awake?”

“Mmmff—yeah,” Iida mumbled, pulling himself back from his mind’s tangent thoughts. “Todoroki?”

“I’m still awake,” his voice responded. Some shuffling followed his reply, and then the shared light on the nightstand between his and Midoriya’s beds flipped back on. “Can’t sleep?”

Blinking against the new light, Iida just made out the fuzzy outline of Midoriya sitting up again, his head shaking slowly.

“No,” he mumbled. “Sorry. I—I liked talking with you both. It made me feel—“

“Safe?” Iida found himself adding. Midoriya nodded to him across the room. “Yeah, me too.”

Todoroki made a noise of agreement.

“It’s like,” Midoriya began again. “I know you two are there because I haven’t heard you get up or the door open, but—my brain won’t turn off. It’s like—I need to keep reaffirming to myself that we’re still safe. S—sorry. It’s my problem. Go back to sleep.”

Iida felt a fond smile stretch over his face as a memory replayed in his mind. Back when he and Tensei shared a room and thunderstorms still scared him. The warmth. The feeling of protection. Knowing that everything was going to be alright.

“Midoriya,” Iida interrupted as Todoroki reached for the light again. “It’s fine. I think I have an idea.”

“No no!! Iida really!!” the green haired boy sputtered. “I’ll be fine!!”

“And what class rep would ever accept that translucent answer?” Iida asked, beginning to clear off the nightstand between the beds. “And I’ve been feeling the same. Criminal or not, I can’t deny that Stain’s ideology got be thinking. But the fact that my entire worldview now needs reexamining because of a criminal’s words is beyond unsettling.” Iida cast a glance over at Todoroki, who nodded in agreement before getting up to help him. “I think we’re all in the same boat here.”

“Wh—what’re you doing?” Midoriya asked, straining to get up again.

“Midoriya, stay there,” Todoroki instructed.

“Well, science has proven the human contact can help raise levels of oxytocin in the body,” Iida began to explain as he flicked on his phone’s flashlight and bent down to unplug the lamp and drag the nightstand out of the way. “And, I figure in any case, this way we’ll all be able to confirm for ourselves that we’re all still here and safe.”

“Iida, what—?” Todoroki began to ask.

“We’re making a superbed,” he explained briefly, releasing the lock on his cot’s wheels. “When I was little, I used to be terrified of thunderstorms. And Tensei and I would always pull our futons together in the middle of the room. It always made me feel safe—so I figured… Y’know?”

Iida paused, his cot now askew in the middle of the room. A feeling of unease dropped into his stomach,

“Listen—this is just something that’s worked for me in the past. I don’t know if it’ll work here too. Sorry, I should’ve asked first. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

“No.” Todoroki’s grasp met Iida’s on the headboard of the cot. “It’s a good idea, class rep.”

Iida felt a wave of relief wash over him at the sight of Todoroki’s resolve. Midoriya stretched across his bed, gathering up any loose hanging sheets while Todoroki pulled his bed further away to make room for Iida’s to slot into the middle. Locking the wheels again, Iida looked over to Todoroki resetting the nightstand on his side of the superbed and plugging the lamp back in.

“You sure that I should get the middle?” Iida asked uncertainly, hesitating at the foot of his bed.

“Midoriya tosses in his sleep,” Todoroki remarked simply, resettling under his sheet again. On his other side, Deku made a sheepish noise of apology.

A smile settled on Iida’s face as he crawled over the foot of his cot and into the center position and handed his glasses to Todoroki. Resting his head back onto his pillow, he felt himself exhale a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding—maybe since the Sports Festival—as a new wave of security washed over him like sunlight. A click to his left signaled Todoroki turning the light off again and Iida’s eyes blinked open to a calming darkness. To his right, Midoriya’s breath was already thickening with sleep. Todoroki shifted under his covers before settling on his side for sleep.

Iida felt his brow unknit and his jaw loosen as he confirmed again that they all hadn’t died in that back alley. His friends had just helped him settle—again. And the world felt a little more okay again.

The smell of cotton sheets.

The rhythmic breathing of his two friends.

And a feeling of safety that he hadn’t felt since he was little.

Warmth.

Comfort.

Safety.

Red.

#tododekuiida #shoto todoroki #tenya iida #izuku midoriya #deku #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #my writing #bnha secret santa #sorry i tried #shit i actually post #dailybnha #secret santa

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