#toddler escapades

[tanuandthetriplets]

Papa Aur Subbu Chipkar Kaha Nikle?? | Triplets Vlog - 19th September'23

[leahsgirl]

can you write something else based in the homemade love universe :)

sun kissed escapade | leah williamson x reader

in which you and leah go on holiday with your three-year-old.

might make leah with kids fanfics my whole personality because im down bad for them

-

“and what do you think you’re doing?” the blonde stood at the bottom of the stairs, her arms folded over her chest as she shook her head disapprovingly.

“leah i’m capable of carrying wren’s case.” you replied carrying your daughters peppa pig suitcase down.

“and have the possibility of you falling? no can do princess.” she grabbed the luggage off you despite the protesting and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of your lips. “are you going to let me help at all?”

“nope!” leah had without a doubt been very protective and helpful since finding out about your second pregnancy. but that also meant she didn’t let you do anything if she thought it involved the slightest bit of hard work.

“are we all set then?” you asked.

“yep, everything’s packed.” the defender scooped her daughter into her arms, making her squeal in delight. “we’re gonna have so much fun aren’t we baby?”

wren giggled and nodded enthusiastically, her tiny hands reaching out to play with leah’s hair.

after a few hours of travelling - a difficult task when trying to keep a toddler entertained, you made it to the beachfront hotel youse were staying at. Instantly revelling in the sun’s rays and the general smell of the heat abroad.

the three of you occupied yourselves with spending time at the pool, opting for just a chill first day. “bleedin’ hell they don’t make these easy do they?” leah sat on a sunbed catching her breath as she tried to blow up wren’s armbands.

“babe you’re letting all the air out.” pointing to the open cap that wasn’t covered. “oh for god’s sake.” despite the cursing and countless breaks the blonde managed to do it as you’d just finished lathering sun cream onto the little girl’s face.

“don’t go running off missus.” you tell wren before letting her waddle off to the kids pool. pulling your beach bag closer to you, you take out the book you’ve been reading and get yourself comfy on the sun lounger. “you not coming in?” leah motioning to the water as she throws off her sliders.

“i’m just gonna relax for a while, read my book.” not looking up as your eyes stayed fixed on the page in front of you. she pressed a kiss on your forehead “okay darlin’.”

not even ten minutes later and you find yourself being smothered by a dripping wet wren whose bombarded you in a hug. “oh my gosh! wrenny i’m soaked through now.”

the toddler shrugged apologetically “mama told me to do it.” your eyes darting over to the older girl who was at the edge of the pool laughing cheekily. “oh did she now?”

“oh come on it’s just a bit of a laugh, stop being boring and come join us.” leah chimed, wren joining in on the pleading.

you caved, making your way over to the steps and into the warm water. leah grabbed at your waist, dragging you closer to deep end. “see this is much better than your book.”

you rolled your eyes playfully “i’ll have you know it was getting to the good part before you decided to use our child for your scheming.”

the skipper just smirked “it worked no?” happy her plan to get you in the pool succeeded. “just this time williamson.”

she pressed you against the wall, staring directly into your orbs, a dopey grin on her face. “i love you.” the words falling effortlessly from her lips as you repeated them. her mouth attached to your neck, peppering delicate kisses up to the back of your ear, a place she knew you was sensitive. you were thankful the hotel was quiet and secluded, only a few other people around who were too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice the public display of affection.

—

“princess - wait up!” leah called out to a very excited wren who you chased after while the arsenal player was busy unloading stuff out the rental car.

the toddler made a beeline for the sand and sea, eager to splash about. “we can’t be running off like that sweetie.” you getting your breath back now caught up with the little one. “sorry mommy.”

leah now joining youse, she laid out beach towels for you all to lie down along with passing you a cold bottle of water; the two humans inside you making you thirsty like no man’s business.

you occupied yourself with building sandcastles with wren, soaking in the quality time of just the two of you - only a couple of months remaining until you’d be a family of five. the blonde watched on in admiration, sneaking a couple of cute photos that she’d be posting later on for her ‘holiday camera roll dump’.

a good hour had passed - and lord what an hour it had been. it turns out the day you decided to go to the beach was also the day they was offering surfing lessons, so of course leah had to participate, her competitive spirit just as prevalent 4,000 miles away here than it was back home. “be prepared to be blown away by your incredibly sexy, multi-talented fiancé.” the taller woman winked before running off to join the group.

you and wren watched on from a distance, the small blonde sat in between your legs with your arms wrapped loosely around her stomach. “what’s your mother got herself into now hm wrenny.”

the three year old just giggled, nuzzling herself closer to you.

now if there’s one word to describe your partner’s performance on the waves - it would be hilarious. the poor girl could not stay on the board to save her life despite the adamant determination. when she did eventually stand up on the thing she got too excited and fell straight back into the water, the taste of salt getting unbearable at this point.

she made her way back over to you, a small scowl on her face now that she received a bruise to the ego. “have fun?” you asked finding this very amusing. “stupid surfboard - it clearly had something wrong with it!”

you patted her back reassuringly “maybe just stick to football love.” managing to get a little smile out of her as you pecked her lips.

“you thought i was good didn’t you angel?” leah diverting her attention over to the toddler who avoided the question, nuzzling into you more. “well it looks like beach 1, leah williamson 0.”

the centre-back mocked offence “i’m gonna give you two 10 seconds to run before i get you.”

you matched wren’s childish squeals as you ran off hand in hand away from the blonde, it not taking it long for leah to catch up and swiftly lift her daughter into her arms tickling her all over. “oh no looks like you’ve been caught wrenny.” sticking your tongue out playfully.

“erh you’re not off the hook either.” using her freehand to rope you in closer and have your lips crash together for a bruising kiss. “don’t see how that was much of a punishment babe.” you say once breaking apart.

“just giving you a glimpse of tonight’s agenda.” smirking cockily and smacking your butt.

—

nearing the end of your relaxing getaway, the three of you chose to go on an evening walk into town to find a restaurant to eat at. your hand intertwined with leah’s as she pushed wren in her pram.

after reading countless outside menu’s, you finally agreed on a small italian, leah content at the fact there was the option of chicken nuggets. “such a child.” you teased while being escorted to your table.

before leah could counter back she was being tapped on her side, small hands pointing to a little playground area set up at the end of the restaurant “can we go play?”

leah exchanged a glance with you waiting for approval, your lips curling up in a tender smile. “sure thing sweetheart, go have some fun.”

wren wasted no time in scampering up the ladder of the slide before abruptly stopping once at the top, the five feet off the ground suddenly very daunting. "c'mon you've got it." leah encouraged noticing the uneasy facial expression on the girl's face. "can you do it with me?"

giving in, no one surviving the puppy eyes wren gave when we wanted something, leah sat at the top of the kid's apparatus and positioned wren on her lap. "here we go baby."

huge grins on the toddlers face as they slid down - until they hit a snag that is; leah's hips getting wedged either side of the slide's edges, leaving both girls in an awkward predicament.

"uh-oh." the blonde muttered, attempting to wriggle free to no avail. "i think we're stuck."

wren's eyebrows furrowing in concern as she glanced back in your direction where you sat down rubbing your bloated stomach, people watching. she manoeuvred out of leah's grip, descending down the remainder of the slide.

"mommy! mama's stuck!" she tugged at your shirt urging you to get up and follow her. "mama's what?" you asked but didn't need your daughter to reply as your eyes landed on a very grumpy looking leah.

"oh wow, what's happened here?" trying to contain your amusement but failing miserably when a laugh escaped your lips.

leah's frustration was only mounting as she struggled to free herself. "its not funny." she grumbled, shooting a glare your way. "a little help would be appreciated."

"right, sorry." you attempted to slot your hand between the slide and her thigh hoping it would loosen the grip but it was useless. "babe please hurry people are starting to stare." despite the woman's strength, it was like she was superglued in place as she tried to break free. "why does this stuff only happen to you?" racking your brain for another plan.

leah folded her arms "i don't know but I'm stopping being the fun parent that's for sure."

you rolled your eyes playfully. "i'm gonna have to ask for help." scanning around for someone to help you. "no! this is embarrassing enough." to say this was humiliating for the older woman was an understatement. "honey its the only way - i can't get you out and wren definitely can't."

huffing but ultimately having to accept, leah let you call over a waiter who noticed your struggle. and after what felt like an eternity and three staff members later, your fiancé was set free, slightly disheveled but unharmed. wren burst into a fit of giggles, finding the entire ordeal utterly amusing.

"don't you dare send that video to anyone." leah noticing how you discreetly (or so you thought) video taped her whole rescue mission. you kissed her cheek "never babe. come on lets go eat."

after a very delicious meal that the restaurant kindly offered to pay for due to the trauma leah just faced, the said girl whipped out her phone, it buzzing relentlessly for the past ten minutes.

"babe why do i have multiple texts asking about the slide incident? who did you send it to?"

innocently smiling at her you shrugged. "no one really - just your mum..and our england teammates..maybe a few arsenal girls."

leah gawped at you, stopping in her tracks "you wouldn't dare."

holding up your phone to show her the messages, her face drained in humiliation. "i do dare." the opportunity to showcase the side of leah people rarely see too good - how could you not?

"oh you are so dead."

[tendrbelly]

Brad was in amazing shape as a college freshman. He had a full ride to college as a rugby player. After a few escapades in bed with the varsity captain, he started getting cravings for pizza and sub sandwiches.

He was ashamed of the cravings at first. Then he realized it wasn't a big deal - his coach said he needed to add some serious size anyway. How fortunate that he had a 24-hour pizza and sub shop across from his dorm.

Halfway through his pregnancy, Brad was adding weight - but it was pretty much all going to the baby. He was still in great shape, but his coach was disappointed that he hadn't added much muscle - so Brad doubled down on his cravings.

After eight months of nonstop eating and working out as much as he could, both Brad and his coach are thrilled with his muscle growth, especially in his chest and arms. But thanks to all that eating and drinking sugary soda, Brad has grown a toddler-sized future rugby player who likes to aggressively kick his dad at the worst possible times.

In another six weeks, Brad will regret caving in to all those cravings. He'll be induced two weeks past due and undergo a lengthy and excruciating labor. He will find out the hard way just how big he grew his son.

[redstarwriting]

pda/general affection hcs | ii.

ft. pavitr prabhakar & gwen stacy

request?: yes and no

warnings:  language, cuteness, mentions of injuries, mentions of stressing too much, possibly incorrect use of hindi words

a/n: slay!! i think i love hcs so much bc it gives me a chance to actually get to know the character i’m writing them about lol, i hope y’all enjoy! twas a fun one

if you wanna read pt i. (with hobie and miles), click here!

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pavitr prabhakar | spider-man

pda

- he loves pda - point blank PERIOD - at the very least - his arm is around you - AT THE VERY LEAST - he’s just In Love Dude - and he gets excited every time he sees you - of course, though he reads people very well - so if you don’t like it he doesn’t do it - but bro - he LOVES holding hands - like it’s ridiculous how much he loves holding your hand - and when i say holding hands i mean hands intertwined - doesn’t matter if y’all are walking - studying - eating - just hanging out - if his hand isn’t intertwined with yours his arm is around you - and if he can’t do that his leg is touching you - and if he can’t do that his foot is touching yours - listen - he loves to be touching you - and he loves when you’re touching him - one day after his Spider-Man escapades - he rushed to meet up with you - and his hair was all kinds of blown around - and you giggled - fixing it for him - tucking it behind his ear - he was in heaven - he frequently messes up his hair now just so you’ll fix it - “Pavitr, baby, what’s going on? Your hair’s been so unruly lately.”   “I don’t know, betu, but I think you should fix it for me.”   “Okay, okay, get over here.” - he hopes you never catch on - you already have - but it’s cute so you don’t care - he’s also very partial to staring at you and not paying attention to anything else around him - he has frequently run into a building - or a car - while web swinging if he sees you - and he’s run into poles - other people - more cars - when the two of you are just walking next to each other - the two of you have matching bracelets - he never takes his off - one time he lost it after he took it off - he FREAKED - “(Y/N) I CAN’T FIND MY BRACELET!”   “Pav it’s okay just—”   “I RUINED THE RELATIONSHIP”   “Pav—”   “I— oh hi auntie, what’s that? You found my bracelet! Bahut! (Y/n), the problem is fixed! Our relationship is stronger than ever!” - but he BRANDISHES that bracelet - shows it to everyone - especially if someone comments on yours - he will be right there like - “I have a matching one! Are we not adorable?” - speaking of - he’s not good when it comes to getting jealous - he gets jealous easily - he trusts you 100% - it’s the other people he doesn’t trust around your beauty - he gets touchier somehow - and super pouty - “(Y/n), pay attention to meeeee…”   “Pav, baby, you’re pulling on my shirt like a toddler.”   “Pay attention to me and I’ll stop. Promise.” - he doesn’t get like this all the time obviously - but if it’s obvious some man is flirting with you - he gets this way - he’s also way smoother than you think - sometimes he trips up but he immediately catches it and fixes it up lol - he just loves pda - and you

general affection

- if you thought Miles was affectionate hoo boy just you wait - he has difficulty keeping his hands off you in public so in private? - game over - there are times when he is literally just laying on top of you - i’m not kidding - when y’all take naps together he is sprawled out on top of you - good luck trying to get up - it is not happening - unless you wake him up and even then he’s like nooooooo don’t leeeaveeee :( - his auntie Maya loves seeing the two of you at home - he always pours your chai for you and knows exactly how you like it - he actually knows exactly how you like everything - he will order for you just because he knows how to get it your favorite way - and when you aren’t expecting it he’ll get you coffee - or chai - or literally any drink of your choice because he knows all of them by heart - he also knows how to cheer you up if you’re ever upset - whether he needs to listen - give advice - just hold you - all of it - he knows things about you that you don’t even know about yourself - in fact - he has a little journal where he writes down everything he knows about you - it’s not in a weird way, i promise - it’s more of a “if they need this, do this” type of thing - of course, he also gushes about you in it - because he is literally in love with you - he keeps you out of his Spider-Man business as best as he can - he doesn’t want you to get hurt - because chances are if you get hurt he will literally break down - and if you’re in danger, he believes he could save you as well as anyone else in trouble of course - he’s Spider-Man, that’s what he does - but above all - he would save you - and he really doesn’t want to lose you in any way - it’s actually one of his biggest fears - and when he thinks about it for too long it almost sends him into a panic attack - “Pavitr? What’s up, baby? You’re shaking...”   “Huh? Oh, nothing, (Y/n), don’t worry about me. I’m supposed to worry about you.”   “Uh uh, Pav, that’s not how it works. I’ll always worry about you. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine, but come here.” - he never turns down cuddles from you - never - in fact, he actually prefers being the little spoon if y’all ever spoon - he just loves being held by you - he also really loves the way you speak to his auntie - you respect her so much - and it’s obvious - the two of you get along so well - it warms his heart - and he will often invite you over for meals - another thing he loves is just being in your presence - like literally as long as you’re around him and he’s around you he feels calmer - he has many nicknames for you - too many to even pick a favorite - he’d have to think about it for a long time to choose a favorite - something he does do is he says bro affectionately to you - “Pav, how do you like this new outfit?”   “Bro! You look so good!”   “Bro?”   “Yes, bro… just like… bro in the sense of ‘I love you you mean everything to me,��� you know?… Bro…?” - he doesn’t call you bro often but sometimes he slips up and does lol - you don’t really care it’s just funny to watch him scramble when he does call you that - and the way he tells you he loves you every day - once in the morning - once in the afternoon - and multiple times in the evening - another thing he does is show off to you in private - he always shows you his spider skills hoping to impress you - you know why he does it - and find it endearing - so you ooo and ahhh like you haven’t seen him do all of it 78 times - it boosts his ego and makes his heart flutter in the best way - he has definitely snuck into your room at night after a long day of Spider-Manning - if he’s hurt, you help - but he honestly tries to cover up any injury he’s gotten before seeing you - he doesn’t want you to worry too much - even though you do - the first time he did come to you injured you helped him immediately - and then had to hold him because you were worried - you fixed the injury - and then just clung to him like a koala - he loves when you do that - he will actually walk around while you cling to him like you weigh absolutely nothing - because you do weigh nothing to him with the absurd strength he has - he finds it so cute - he tried to uno reverse it once - didn’t work out too well for him (or you) - but he still thought you were cute even when you did fall on the floor underneath of him

overall

- he loves pda because he loves showing you off to people - not in a weird way - but in a “look how amazing my partner is! i know you’re all jealous” type way - but my god he’s soft - and he can and will know absolutely everything about you - and picks up on your moods and behaviors and will get you what you need - before you even know it - he’s very attentive - and very in love - he tells you that all the time

gwen stacy | ghost-spider

pda

- Gwen isn’t all that big on pda actually - it’s not that she like - hates it - but she also just - doesn’t care for it - it’s not like she avoids any and all physical touch with you in public - that’s not the case - and she will always be very close to you - to the point where sometimes it’s like - personal space, Gwendy - “Gwen, babe, you’re literally on top of me.”   “What? No I’m not. I can be if you want but I don’t think many people would appreciate me standing on your shoulders.”   “…Gwen I meant you’re just very close to me right now.”   “Oh. Well, yeah. I like being near you.” - she does like to link arms with you - that’s a big one for her - if the two of you are on a walk - she will link arms with you - her hand will be in her pocket too so there’s no escape!! - not actually - you could slide your arm out whenever you want - she also will frequently bump her shoulder against yours - that’s like the biggest way she shows affection in public - she’ll bump shoulders - push you playfully - playfully punch you - playfully slap you - it’s a good way for her to show you that she cares for you - but without all the super lovey-dovey stuff on display for everyone - she will also link pinkies - but there’s not a lot of kissing in public - not even like - on the cheek - maybe - maybe - she’ll blow you a kiss - but i think it would depend on who’s company you’re in tbh - obviously when she’s around people she’s comfortable with she’ll show more - she’ll prop her legs on your lap - wink at you - will have her hand somewhere on your arm or your leg - especially around Pav, Miles, and Hobie - she really doesn’t care that much around them - but she still isn’t outwardly making out with you or anything like that - another thing she will do in public is boop your nose - sometimes you laugh - and she’s just like yeah - yeah that’s the good shit - and she’ll boop your nose cause it’s all scrunched up - it’s actually very cute - “I love your laugh.” *boop*   “What was that?”   “What was what?”   “Why did you just boop my nose?”   “It was all scrunched up and looked cute and it’s my obligation as your girlfriend to melt when you look like that.” - she does make eye contact with you a lot - but she also looks away a lot - girl gets flustered - she’ll be a blushing mess at times - especially if you do something while she’s drumming at one of The Mary Janes shows - those shows are the rare times she will give you a kiss in public - she’s just got so much adrenaline pumping through her she doesn’t give a fuck - she will finish the set and immediately kiss you - “How’d I do, babe?”   “Y-You did great, Gwen…”   “Awww, someone’s flustered. Good to know I have that effect on you, honey.”   “Shut up, Gwendolyn.

general affection

- y’all - 🚨we got a biter🚨 - she will bite your shoulder - not hard or like with malicious intent - but she will just - glomp down on you - the first time it happened you were like girl, what? - but now it’s just kinda - awwww - like you’ll be minding your business - cooking dinner or something - and out of nowhere - *chomp* - “Gwen, babe, I’ll give you attention in a minute just let me finish this.” - she will stay there until you are done - if you walk she walks with you - she’s also much more laidback when the two of you are alone - in fact, she is way more open to everything - she will frequently crawl on the ceiling and hang upside down just to give you an upside-down kiss - it’s like her favorite thing - “Again?”   “Obviously.”   “You know we have the ability to kiss right side up?”   “Where’s the fun in that?” - you must admit - you do like the kisses - something else she really likes to do is dance with you - like y’all will be in the kitchen - at like 3am - looking for a snack or something - trying to keep quiet so her dad doesn’t wake up - and she’ll just start spinning you around - she’s lucky she’s so graceful or else her dad would be ready to fight every time you stay over - he also lets you stay over a lot - he wants to give Gwen freedom - and he knows that he can trust you - you’re also the closest she’s been to anyone after Peter (which you help her with tremendously) - so he’s more than okay with having you around - and she is too - the two of you will share a bed - facing each other - this is when she shows the most physical affection in your relationship she’ll stroke your cheek with her thumb - steal kisses - rub your back and arm - play with your hair - she gets needy when she’s tired - and when she comes home tired from a long day of being Spider-Woman - she’ll just collapse on her bed with you in it - “Babe, you should take a shower”   “But I want cuddles.”   “Gwen, go clean yourself.”   “But I want—”   “I will cuddle you only if you take care of yourself!” - she tends to let her basic needs fall behind her duties - so you are always there to remind her to do things - she does the same with you - in fact, she’ll always put your needs before hers - which you scold her for - but she doesn’t care - you’re more important to her than herself, so - like actually, after Peter she can’t afford to lose another person close to her in her life like that, she’s always checking on you and will frequently stress herself out worrying about you - you’re always cared for - always have food - always have a place to stay - anything you need she will get you - she also tries really hard to tell you where she is all the time - she shares her location with you - and even has another dimension-hopping watch so she can reach out to you when she’s away - took a while to convince Miguel of that - “but he caved eventually,” she said - Hobie made her oneL LMAO - she will write a lot of songs about you - like all the time - you’ll never see them - maybe - and if you do she’ll try to play it off like she isn’t a cheesy romantic at heart - but you mean a lot to her - and she means a lot to you

overall

- Gwen isn’t too physically affectionate - but she is when it counts - and she will do whatever it takes to take care of you - you are the light of her life - she will do anything to keep it bright

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[batsythoughts]

I know nobody probably wants this, but I had this spiral of thoughts while at work today and had to share. What if the Joker had a child that no one had known about?

Not like a teenager that had been under his care for years and mentally crazy like the Joker, but like a knee-high, wide eyed, 'have uppies?' toddler.

Like, imagine that Batman had busted a part of Joker's operations and was talking with the officers

He realized it was only a couple hours until sunrise and had to go and get some rest for a big meeting he had with his lawyers

The last thing he said was to round up every person in the building and put them all in a secure cell in the Asylum

Immediately after Batman leaves, one of the officers finds this small child in a room with multiple screens playing different escapades that the Joker had performed over the years

Poor kid was strapped to a chair and sobbing when the officer frantically undid the ropes and got the kid out of that room

Everyone was confused about what they should potentially do with this kid who looked like a miniature clown

Without many options, the kid gets sent to the Asylum with all the Joker's henchmen who are equally as confused about who the hell this kid was

The Warden is fucking livid because what the FUCK is a kid doing here, but it was the safest place to be while everyone tried to figure out if the child was stable to be around the nonvillainous population

Most of the detainees are confused, but none of them speak out of turn to them

In fact, the kid becomes the reason most of them behave to a degree

It is still a prison after all with rules and there were no exceptions even with a child

Some of the inmates would get into small altercations during meal times to keep the guards distracted while the cooks would sneak small bits of food to other inmates so they could give the kid a snack later in the day

Sure it could cost them their job, but what kind of person would let a child go hungry throughout the day?

Anyways, a couple weeks go by and most crime had gone down during the night. No attempted escapes or extravagant overtakings of any kind from almost any villain

Bruce and the boys are very confused by the sudden change, but silently welcome the relaxed pace that is happening

Alfred was taking the day to get groceries for the Manor with Jason being dragged along for some 'social interaction'

Mostly so Alfred had someone else to push the shopping cart and Tim and Damian refused to go to the store, but that's besides the point

Alfred was looking between two different brownie mixes when two women walk by

They talked about how the guards are bordering on taking their job too serious with the one inmate they had

Alfred began to tune them out as he began to put one of the mixes in the cart when he suddenly froze in place

"I mean, the kid's been through enough already. How many 4-year-olds do you know that have semipermanent white paint on their whole body with dyed purple hair?"

Alfred's hand remained suspended in air as the women slowly walked past them. His mind flashed back to a few years ago when he remembered Bruce telling him about Harley suddenly stopped coming to any scheme the Joker had for over half a year. And then she came back slightly more manic than she was previously for a few month after

Jason, who had been spaced out, glanced at Alfred and thought the older man was having a stroke. He had never seen the butler so still in all the time that they had known one another. Jason swears he can't even see him breath for a good 12 seconds

Alfred quickly puts the baking mix on the shelf, not even looking to make sure it was in the right spot. Jason felt his blood run cold at that sight alone as the bulter walked off and grabbed Jason's collar

The cart partially full of groceries was forgotten as Alfred went to the children's section and picked up a box with a toddler's car seat in it. Went to the register and paying before going to the car and expertly putting car seat in the middle backseat

Jason felt extremely confused as he watched the whole scene before he hesitantly decided to ask, "What do we need a carseat for? We don't have a kid that needs one."

Alfred broke down the empty box and put it in the trunk before going to open the passenger door for Jason. Walking over to the driver's side and calmly getting in. "Not yet."

Cue Jason terrified for his life as Alfred speeds through the streets because DEAR GOD THE SPEED LIMIT IS 55 NOT 82!

Jason pulls out his phone to record the whole thing before it was over because no one would believe this if he didn'thave proof. Barely registering that he had accidentally started a live stream on one of the Wayne Enterprise's accounts Tim had connected him to at some point

Alfred only slams on the breaks when he gets to the gates of Arkham Asylum. Glaring down the guard who tries to yell at him before coldly stating, "I'm here for the child."

The guard begins protesting that it's a restricted area, but Alfred stared him down with a glare that Jason had only seen a handful of times in his life when one of the boys had fucked up bad

The guard keeps telling them to turn around and Alfred reached under the dash and when the FUCK did he hide a GUN under there?!

"The child. Now." The guard opened the gate and Alfred pulled in before putting the gun away and shutting the car off

Jason considers staying in the car as Alfred gets out and begins marching to the door. But God, he didn't want to explain to Bruce that he didn't even fully know why Alfred conned his way into a high security prison

The two of them walk through the corridors to an unknown destination. Jason looking both confused and terrified while flipping the camera between him and Alfred until they make it to the cafeteria

All the inmates look over at the two of them as they walk in, Alfred looking over the crowd before spotting the spot of purple in the sea of orange jumpsuits

He walks with over to Poison Ivy who was carrying the little one around before holding out his hands. Ivy looks at him for a moment before giving a small nod in understanding and letting him take the child

"Take good care of them or I will come for you, old man." Ivy warns him before giving a small wave to the child. "Have a good time sweetie."

"Bye bye, Aunt Ivy." Alfred began to walk back to Jason. Glaring softly as the guards try to block his path

Half of them are on the ground in just a few seconds as most of the inmates start a fight with the guards. Each of them waving bye as Alfred walks back to Jason and to the car

By looks alone, Jason could tell exactly who's kid this was. Who wouldn't be able to when they looked just like a fucking child circus star

Jason stares in confusion as Alred gently puts the child in the car seat and buckles them in. Patting their head before telling Jason to get in the back

He's too scared to argue so he gets in behind the passenger seat as Alfred opens the door to get in but stops when the Warden comes marching over

Leaving the door open, Alfred calmly walks over the the man while getting yelled at that he can't just take a prisoner simply because he wants to

Jason flips the camera to show Alfred calmly taking in the yells of the Warden

The moment he tried to walk past the butler to get to the car, Alfred backhanded him so hard the Warden fell to the ground

Jason stared in shock as Alfred got in the car and began driving back towards the City

Jason looks at the child who stares back at him with the same intensity until they looked out the window and pointing. "Where going?"

"To get you some food and new clothes." Alfred speaks plainly as he got to a drive thru. Quickly ordering a kids meal and handing it back the moment it was ready.

Jason watched as the child began eating the moment the food was in their lap. Occasionally offering him a piece which he always denied so the kid ate the much needed nutrients

Alfred drove into the parking lot of a children's clothing store before getting out and carrying the child in with Jason following close behind

Alfred takes the kid through the aisles to pick out some clothes that they would want to wear

Jason chuckling at the sight of Alfred holding different shirts up to see if they would fit because they look so happy to get to pick out one with a derpy looking cat on it

After getting some outfits, they all walk to the checkout. Waiting in line for a moment before Alfred feels a small tug on his arm

Looking down, he sees the child pointing at something. Moving his gaze, he takes notice of a small stand with small Batman plushies on it

Jason holds back a laugh as he points the camera over the stand before looking at the child again. "You like Batman, huh?"

The both got an eager nod as curious eyes look back at Alfred, waiting for an answer. With a small smile, he grabbed one and put it on the counter to be paid for first. The moment it was scanned, it was handed down to the excited hands of its new owner

The kid gives an excited giggle as they held the toy over their head that the cashier couldn't help but smile as well

After everything was paid for, Alfred makes sure the child gets changed out of the prison uniform. He made a mental note to have Bruce investigate on why they even were given one in the first place

Getting back in the car, Alfred drives them back to the grocery store to restart the whole shopping trip with the intention for getting extra snacks for the family's new guest

With the child buckled into the child carrier in the cart, Jason began pushing the cart while following Alfred around the store once again

He tried holding the phone in his own hand, but gave up as little hands keep curiously grabbing at it to see the screen with wide eyes

He smiles as he watches the child make multiple different faces to the camera, a small fit of laughter sounding each time they look back up at Jason

He can help but wonder how such a calm and happy child (calm and happy compared to the teens Bruce took in) could be the offspring of the very man who made his life a living hell

They make it halfway through the store a confused voice called out to the men

Dick had just been grabbing a few snack items for himself to have for his weekend off

The last thing he expected to see was Jason hauling around a child while Alfred finished putting multiple different juice boxes from the shelf into the cart

He walked over with a bag of chips and frozen mini pizzas as he wore a confused frown while looking between the three of them

Jason wore a smirk as he leaned on the handle. Alfred gave him a small nod before he pulled out the shopping list to see what else was needed

The child look at him with a small head tilt. Blinking up at him before holding up the plush toy with a cheerful "Batsy!"

Dick has to bite his lip to hold back is laughter from the single action alone, because how ironic is it that this kid adores Batman specifically

Alfred begins to walk towards the pharmacy area, intending to get some hygiene supplies for the child

Dick begin following behind Jason as they follow behind. Dick leaning over to Jason and asking what the hell is going and why is there now a toddler

Before Jason can say anything, an excited fit of laughter sounds as a small hand points to something once again

It's the electronic area in the store, so maybe it's a movie that's caught the attention of the child

Jason and Dick look over and both of them stare in shock as they see a wall of TVs playing a live feed from a local news station. A group of news anchors smiling as they stare at a screen that was also playing onscreen

What makes the two of them most nervous is the half of the screen that was currently showing a smiling face with purple hair staring down at the camera once again

Jason frantically grabs his phone as he begins to try and figure out how to turn the video off as Dick frantically raises his voice because how did you not realize you were live filming and WHY IS THERE 3.2 BILLION PEOPLE WATCHING THIS!?

Jason finally turns the video off and the TV cuts the video almost immediately which causes half the reporters to boo

Let both let out a breath of relief as the feed cuts out, watching the screen to see how bad the damage was

To their surprise, the headline on screen read 'Happy Little Addition to Wayne Family?'

They both look confused as they hear one reporter talks about how the internet is enamored by this unexpected new appearance in the Wayne family. Grinning as they mention the people who watched the video decided to nickname the kid 'Giggles' because of how happy they were during the whole thing

Jason cursed under his breath as he realized he might have screwed up big time with Bruce because of the whole thing. He didn't get much time to think about it before Alfred came back and pulled the cart along with him

Dick shook his head with a stupid grin on his face as he looked at Jason "Bruce is going to have stroke when he finds out about this."

Which Bruce practically did. He was in a budgeted meeting for the new quarter for the company, so he didn't even have a clue about the whole livestream

He had just got out of the meeting when his assistant came up with a concerned expression. Hastily trying to tell him some news that he really needs to hear

Bruce rubs his temples as he calmly asks if he could get five minutes of quiet in his office before hearing any form of news

His assistant followed after him while trying to explain that it was really important that he sees this now

With a deep sigh, Bruce reluctantly took the tablet into his hand to stare at whatever statistic was on the screen

What he wasn't expecting to see was small clips of video with Alfred holding up different clothes and Jason sitting in the backseat as a kid offers him a french fry

The only reaction from Bruce was a deep sighas he handed the tablet back before saying he was leaving for the day

He was thankful that no paparazzi had come around to get any pictures as he was getting to his car

Damian and Tim had been in the living room when they had gotten back to the manor. Neither of them knowing about the livestream because why would they watch it if Bruce would just sum it up to the others later that night

Alfred came in with the sleeping child in his arms and walked over to the couch Tim was on. Placing them down on his lap before walking away to get the groceries put away

Both of the younger boys are confused as they watch this little clown lean further into Tim while holding a small toy in a death cuddle

After a few minutes, Dick and Jason both come walking in as Jason takes the remote from beside Damian and flips through the channels

Dick sits near Tim as he opens the bag of chips he got as he stares at the child with a confused expression

Everyone looks at Jason for a moment before Tim asks, "Where did you get the kid from?"

Jason settles on a small comedy movie as he gives a small shrug "Alfred picked the kid up from the Asylum. He pulled a gun he keeps under the dash on one of the guards."

Tim and Dick let out small noises of disbelief at the explanation while Damian wondered which gun Jason was meaning. Alfred had both a pistol and revolver in the car that he was aware of

The child slowly began to stir with a small whine as they opened their eyes. Glancing around to see the new environment they had found themselves in

Moving to their own spot on the couch while looking at the movie with confused and sleepy eyes

Damian stared down the child for a while before actually making eye contact

The both stared at one another for a moment before Damian finally spoke up "So the clown had an accident that he didn't want."

"Damian!" Dick begins to scold the boy as he sat up straight. His voice falling short when a little head rests on his chest as frantic cries fill the room

It's hard for them to understand the what was being said between the sobs, but Dick was able to get out was 'don't wanna go back'

Dick holds the child close while trying his hardest to make the crying stop

Everyone feels uncomfortable as the child holds the Batman toy tighter while hiccuping out something along the lines of 'no fight Batsy'

Dear lord, did they underestimate how traumatized this toddler was compared to the rest of them at such a young age

Tim picks up his phone to try and find a video or something that might try and calm down the whole situation

That's when he gets a notification about some video about someone named Giggles?

He clicks on it, thinking it would be able to a couple laughs

The moment it loads, he looks between Jason and the kid because why are they in a video on his phone right now

Apparently, people had made highlight reels of the live stream and were sharing them online. The one Tim had clicked on was designed like one of those joke style ones with the funny little background music

He was about to change it when he saw the kid lift their head up with a confused look as they stare at the phone in his hand

Tim quickly connects his phone to the TV so the video was now on screen

Tears were quickly gone as small laughs soon began to fill the living room

All the boys felt relieved as they watched along with the video. Laughing softly at a few parts that showed up in the video

All of them let out shocked noises when they all watched Alfred bitch slap the Warden like he was a fly

None of them noticed when the door opened when Bruce got home. He immediately went to the kitchen where Alfred was making a few sandwiches

Walking up to the counter, Bruce looked at Alfred while asking him why the internet is showing he basically broke a convict out of prison

Cutting the crust off the sandwiches, Alfred countered that without an actual crime being committed by the person, it wasn't breaking a convict out

Bruce was utterly unimpressed as he crossed his arms saying they had to go back to the asylum where they were placed by the police

Alfred puts the last sandwich on the plate before looking directly into Bruce's eyes

"Alright."

Bruce furrowed his brow in confusion. There was no way it was going to be that easy for Alfred to agree

"You have to break the news of taking the child back though."

There it was

Bruce held his gaze as he raised a brow. He could easily find a way to explain the whole situation and why it would be best-

The tugging on his suit jacket pulled Bruce out of his thoughts. Looking down, he saw a curious face looking back at him

"I have juice, please?"

Bruce had not expected someone who barely even reached his knee to be the child in question. He was thinking maybe it was a teenager who was on the younger looking side of the spectrum

He really needed to talk to his assistant about showing him more detailed photos next time

Bruce looked back at Alfred, who simply raised a brow in response

Cue the whole Batfam on or around the couch while watching a movie. Bruce sending messages to his assistant to remind him to schedule different doctors appointments with little Giggles cuddled up on his lap

No one knew the kids actual name so they were just going with it because it made the kid happy to be called that

Dick was on the end as he quickly took a selfie with Bruce patting Giggles' head as they showed him the stuffed Batman while drinking from a juice box. The others in various lounging positions close by while eating the sandwiches Alfred provided

He put it on his story with the caption 'Bruce is putting this kid in his will right now, I swear'

The peaceful atmosphere was broken when Alfred came walking in with Commissioner Gordon walking in with a deep frown

He looked at Bruce as he explained that Giggles had to go back to the asylum due to the safety of the city

All the boys stared at him with looks of disinterest as they silently dared him to try

Gordon let out a sigh as he explained that Giggles was placed in the care of the city after the bust had happened, so technically the Wayne's would potentially face kidnapping charges if they didn't give the kid to him

Alfred cleared his throat as he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Gordan

He looked it over for a moment before taking in a deep breath while rubbing his temple

He handed the paper back as he mumbles that he doesn't get paid enough. He begins walking away with a small wave goodbye as he quickly leaves the manor

Bruce looks at Alfred as he asks what the paper was. It gets handed to him as a confused look crosses Bruce's face because when the hell did he sign adoption papers

Alfred explains he had messaged Bruce's lawyer earlier hand had it drawn up that afternoon. The signature was easy to get because he had a stamp for emergency reasons

Dick can't help himself as he takes another picture for the scene and posts it on the Bruce's personal account with the caption 'He adopted the kid and didn't even know it'

Dick and Jason laugh to one another as they whisper to themselves about how Giggles is going to loose it when they find out who Batman really was

[babybatss-blog]

Hii, I'm Brazilian, so I'm sorry for this shitty writing

can you write something with SDV Sam? I rarely see fanfics with him and I wanted a creative boost to imagine what his married life with the farmer would be like (with all the scenes, even some spicy ones 😉)

WITH YOU

(Stardew) sam x reader, 1400 words

a/n: since you left it pretty vague I tried to make this not too plot heavy, instead it’s a simple drabble on marriage with out fav bachelor! I hope this is what you were wanted lovely x

cw: proposal with a ring instead of mermaid pendant, marriage, slight out of characterness (which makes sense trust me), mentions of adult activities but nothing explicit, slight swearing, kissing and making out. Talk of babies at the end.

How he managed it, you’ll never know. For a man so often oblivious and clumsy, he pulled of the proposal of your dreams.

It was 11pm on a Friday, and after Sam randomly disappeared from the bar under the guise of a full bladder you thought something was off. Abigail and Sebastian were oddly giggly, the other patrons far too watchful of you and Sam was taking way too much time than he should be. Eventually you got up, walking to the bathroom to only find Alex. “Oh, he left.” He simply stated, a matter of fact tone that lazily disguised a strange excitement. “He went to the beach.”

You walk down to the beach, muttering to yourself about what he could possibly be doing. He didn’t have much to drink so this wasn’t some dumb wandering, and he seemed relatively happy earlier so it couldn’t be that something upset him. Come to think of it though, he did appear overly fidgety, like a man with something stressful on his mind.

As you near the beach, shimmering lights start to appear. At first they remind you of Zuzu city, but once you see the man standing in the middle of them, you know that you are actually home. Your home stands within the candles, a grin on his face as you realise: this is it. The day you have dreamed for since you were a child, wishing you could have. It doesn’t take a very long nervous speech from Sam to bring you both to tears, choking out repeated agreements between lovesick kisses and hugs. The next couple of months are spent in a bliss, no matter how stressful. It turns out that Sam was contemplating the day of your marriage just as much as you were, so the collaboration of the wedding went by as a breeze.

What colour is the aisle? Blue. What type of bouquet do you have? Wild grass and Dandelions. What is served at the reception? A mix of pizza pockets and joja cola (despite how unprofessional it may be, this had to be done.)

And the honeymoon phase never ended. It may be because you never actually got to go on a honeymoon, but the two of you spent everyday in a comfortable paradise, going about your daily tasks and enjoying each other’s comfortable company. “Do you think you could teach me how to plant crops?” He asks out of the blue, when the two of you were cuddled up on the couch watching another horrible sitcom. Surprisingly, Sam has managed to mellow out in his locked down lifestyle, swapping his late-night escapades for meaningless conversations and the sound of heavy metal to the rain on a drowsy afternoon. You snort, shocked by his change in attitude. The Sam you knew, so boisterous and uncontrollable has been replaced with a lovesick old pup, preferring spending time with his partner over risking his life.

“You? Mr hay fever? No way!”

But less than a week later it happened, and he was collapsed in the grass, sweaty and pouty. “Who knew gardening would be so hard?!” He whined, throwing his head back like a toddler who was told they couldn’t have ice cream. You laugh, walking over and holding his chin in your hand, towering over his weak frame. Your gloves get dirt on his face, but neither of you care because his jeans have been ripped up, hair frizzy, and he even managed to cut himself with a shovel, however impossible that may seem.

“I warned you. But you insisted that you would be fine, dumbass.” “You should have forced me not too.” “I know beautiful boy. I’m sorry.” You croon, crouching down to his level. But all prior anger dissolves within him at the look in your eyes, leaning forward for a deep kiss. Despite his grown-up demeanour, the two of you still love like teenagers, hungry for each other’s touch and fragile after every little look. His tongue lurches into your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny like it’s the first time as you groan in pleasure at his unadulterated lust. You would never admit what happened next.

It's not even three months into the marriage now, and Sam wakes up to find you already up, as per usual. You stand at the window with a cup of tea in your hand, and he can smell the mouthwatering pancakes you made on the table. How he got lucky enough to have you, he’ll never know. “Good morning sexy” he teases, slinging his arms around your shoulder and looking out the window with you towards your hard work. That’s one thing he’s always admired from you… Your insane amount of dedication and resilience. When you inherited the farm, it was a battered mess, and after school he would go there with Abigail and Sebastian, always returning home with blackberry cuts and twigs in their hair. But now it is a utopia, alight with all types of plants, animals, and decorations. Plus, you managed to make an insane profit out of the whole ordeal, turning your struggle to pay the bills into shouting everyone at the saloon on someone’s birthday to a drink and a hot meal. “Have a good sleep?” You ask, looking up at him with an adoring smile. “Course, you know me.” Scoffing, you reply with a shaking head “like a baby.”

And honestly, it’s true. If Sam has one talent, it’s his ability to fall asleep in a split second. The moment the lights are off he’s obnoxiously snoring, often crushing you with his dead weight. If he was to be asked why, he would say it’s because of you. Just as much as you view him as your home, he also sees you as his. A safe haven, someone he knows will take care of him and always be there for him, no matter what.

“Like a baby.” He repeats, looking out the window with a strange, squinting expression. It confuses you, but you don’t push. After all, he just woke up. It’s not uncommon for him to struggle with opening his eyes or being a functioning human being in the morning, he’s like a bear out of hibernation. But eventually he lets you into his thoughts anyways. “Actually, I’ve been thinking… How would you feel about trying for baby. I know we are still pretty early into this whole marriage thing, but it just feels right. I don’t know. Maybe it’s dumb.”

For the first time in a long while Sam seems properly nervous, rambling his words and shuffling about. It’s nice to see that side of him, and truthfully you feel like you were at the start of the relationship too. Happy. Giddy. Excited. “Seriously?! Sam, I thought you said you wanted to take your time with that part of our life??” You place the mug down and turn to him, furrowing your brow. This unintentionally makes him panic, backing up on his words regretfully. “No, no I’m still happy for that. Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I know I wanted to take my time. Sorry.” Your heart melts, looking at your husbands worried face. Shouldn’t he know you would never judge? You peck his cheek, holding both his hands with a tender smile. “Don’t be sorry. I’d love that.” In a split second he lifts you up into his arms, kissing your face in a variety of places as you laugh.

“Baby baby baby!” he chants, jumping up and down. Soon he practically launches you onto the bed, lying on top of you and further peppering you with kisses, that uncomfortable stitch in your side forming from your pure laughter and ecstasy. It’s safe to say the next couple of weeks are spent tirelessly trying, in between sessions of rants about how great your little family is going to be.

[yorshie]

Safe and Sound

@desceros I want you to know I was listening to this while drawing and crying so thank you very much for that.

Big thanks to @khayalli for letting me draw Lavi, she’s a cute stinker but I went with more newborn than toddler. I would love to see more of her escapades though.

*raises a glass with all the fellow symphony enjoyers* Sam might torture us all with feels but we can fight back with Papatello.

[justanotherblonde]

signal boost! haven't you always wanted to read about the escapades of baby Loki and toddler Thor????

a friend of mine is writing a really fun series, please come check it out!!

Ta Meg Tilbake Igjen (Take Me Back Again) by MedeaSavannah (IlonaAutumn) (AO3)

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Loki (TV 2021), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel), Odin (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Bragi (Marvel), Idunn (Marvel)

Summary: Ever wondered if Loki was always this exhausting or if Thor was always so brash? This is a series of canon-compliant one-shots that follow Thor and Loki from infancy to young adulthood. See Loki’s journey from a cranky baby to a cunning trickster, and Thor’s evolution from an adventurous boy to a pre-hero warrior. Told by different characters to explore their mischievous escapades, brotherly bond, and the challenges as they become the characters we know in the MCU.

gonna tag @worstloki to humbly invite you to have a look 🥺😌

[presidenthades]

I just got into your House full of daughters series and I'm crying laughing at Jeff and Daeron being the "me and my hot witch wife" meme.

Also I'm sorry if you've answered this already but how does Alicent feel about the Velagirls and by extension their relationships with her sons?

(I'm also a bit curious about Otto's thoughts on them or if he truly doesn't think about them beyond the guaranteed promise that his line will always sit the Iron throne?)

That meme describes them perfectly. 👌🏼

Alicent is generally less antagonistic in the ficverse than in canon. She doesn’t have a hangup about bastardy, and the girls’ improved relationship with the bros makes her feel less threatened and worried about their lives.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing, though. When Jace was born, Alicent and Rhaenyra were still having a rough patch, and Alicent was one of the people who initially made snide comments about Jace’s hair color. I like to think that Aegon and Jace’s Great Iron Throne Escapade helped turn Alicent’s opinion around, and that was when she began seriously thinking about them as a match. Jace shares a lot of similarities with Alicent, so overall Alicent likes her a lot.

Alicent is less fond of Luce. She was mostly OK with Luce before Driftmark, even if Alicent disapproved of Luce’s unladylike behavior. But Driftmark and Aemond losing his eye worsened Alicent’s opinion of her. I’m planning on fleshing out Luce and Alicent’s relationship in Compromised, so I won’t say too much right now.

Joff… 😅 Until about age two, Alicent felt pity for Joff more than anything. Joff was a sickly baby, and then she was seemingly slow to develop as an infant/toddler. But once Joff started talking and showing more of her personality, Alicent got weirded out real fast. 😂 Sometimes Alicent worries about Daeron possibly ending up as one of Joff’s experiment subjects.

Of all the Velargirls, Otto is most focused on Jace. He’s been the Number One Jacegon Shipper since she was born. Once he actually met her, he liked her even more because she comes off as very reasonable and cautious. TBH he probably thinks she’s too good for Aegon, but he’s gonna do his best to matchmake them anyway.

Luce and Joff are more secondary in his opinion. Luce being heir to Driftmark is interesting to him, but once Jace is securely married to Aegon, Otto feels confident in the Velaryons’ loyalty to the bloodline they will eventually produce together. If Aemond weren’t so interested in Luce, Otto wouldn’t think about her so much.

Otto is occasionally concerned about Joff’s weirdness, but usually he ignores her. She doesn’t have any inheritance of note, so she’s even less interesting than Luce on the political game board.

[sgiandubh]

So do all the suites have cribs or only certain ones?

Dear Crib Anon,

I just checked on the resort's webpage and I strongly encourage you do the same: https://www.fourseasons.com/nevis/accommodations/

As you can see for yourself, there are several types of accommodation options, catering to just about any needs under the sun: from 'simple' guestrooms to suites to pool studios to villas to extravagant estate homes.

There are five types of suites, with rates spanning from 1,575 USD/night (Indigo) to 5,175 USD/night (Alexander, the one he/they stayed in, roughly in the same price range of The Shutters on the Beach). All the other four offer an extra sofa bed and either a crib or a rollway bed add-on, according to the guests' particular needs (baby/toddler or child/teenager).

But the Alexander Suite has very peculiar amenities: a king size bed and a non-optional crib.

The only option that does not propose cribs or rollaway beds is the pool studio, clearly aiming to satisfy a bachelor/dinkie (double income, no kids) escapade scenario. For a fraction of the Alexander Suite rate:

I hope this answers your question, Anon. To me, it is clear enough.

[whichcouldmeannothing]

paper rings (teacher!spiderdads)

this is dedicated to ran podiumspray who helped me get this idea all fleshed out idk maybe if i get like 20 notes I'll write it fr idkkk

EDIT: read chapter 1 here!

-

Someone drops their lunch tray on the table with a large bang. Miguel sighs before he looks up at Jess, who sits across him at the table. He always hopes that maybe he's intimidating enough that no one will sit near him in the canteen, that maybe people still believe that rumour that Mister O'Hara actually is a vampire who sucks people's blood.

But even if that were true, Jess would probably still sit across him and gossip.

Jess has been the closest thing Miguel has to a friend in this place, so he knows that she knows that he's not being an asshole when he continues to write down his lesson plan in his notebook. He's an excellent listener, she's said before. And she only comes by if she has something juicy, something Miguel cares about.

"I heard Parker got divorced," She says, twisting open her apple juice.

Miguel's pen stops moving.

He looks up at her.

He turns to where Peter is standing in line. A kid is engaging him in a lively conversation, and his eyes are bright in the way they always are. But Miguel, under Jess' guidance, knows how to sniff out details. Something something literature something something. He can see the dark stubble dotting his chin, the unironed shirt and the dark circles under his eyes.

"He could just be stressed," Miguel offers.

"He's not wearing his wedding ring." Okay, maybe he's not the best at looking for things yet. Miguel squints, and he can't see the glint of silver that Peter usually flaunts.

"What are we talking about?" Someone's puffy cardigan presses against Miguel's arm, and he has to close his eyes before registering Lyla beside him.

"Can you come with a bell? So I can be prepared for when you pop up and ruin my lunch." His assistant stares at him, unimpressed. She's never been scared of him, and that lets her get away with too much. He hates it.

"I'm not a cat, you're just a bitch." Eloquent as always. She follows Jessica's line of sight, and she jumps in her seat "Talking about Parker's divorce?"

She says it loud enough that people around them are turning to look at his table, and Dios mio, Parker is looking at him from the stall and he wants to die. He can eat in his cubicle. He takes his entire tray and walks out of the cafeteria.

He walks straight to the lounge, scanning his ID and walking forward and turning to the left and right, with one last right to get his cubicle. The cubicles are set by order in seniority, so a small carpeted wall separates him from Parker's mess of a desk.

He sets his tray down, and in the air-conditioned silence of the room, he eats. It's lonely, but it's peaceful. It's tranquil. He eats his salad and finishes his lesson plan. He drinks his apple juice. The only thing left on his tray is the cookie, kept in a white paper bag.

He stares at the carpeted divider. His is sparsely decorated, with two photos pinned up. One of his brother at the beach, and one of tiny Gabriella with her uncle at the same beach.

Miguel is a family man. That's all he has to be. He wakes up, makes Gabriella's food for school, sends her off, goes to work, picks her up and takes care of her. He meets Gabriel once a week for family bonding. Sure, he doesn't have much of a life outside that, but he doesn't need one. He's fine.

The cookie isn't his favourite. It's too sweet for him. He keeps looking at the wall.

He knows that on the other side of that wall, Peter's wall is full of notes and letters from his old students. Different cards in every single colour of Post-It note, all thanking him for the impact of his teaching.

Now, he's divorced.

The man so proud of his wife and his toddler, the man who would flaunt her so much, the staff is well aware of Mary Jane Watson-Parker and Mayday Parker's day-to-day escapades. Similar to Miguel, he holds his family as a priority.

Something that feels like concern tugs at him. He tries to squash it down. Peter has been one of the worst colleagues he's ever had. He goes on tangents in his class more often than actually teaching, he rewards the smallest step forward, and he's remarkably laid-back. On paper, he's a terrible teacher.

He's a horrible seatmate, music almost always loud enough to be heard in Miguel's cubicle and always ready to lean over and ask Miguel stupid questions about his class and his day. They're the only two teachers who joined from their year to have stayed in Romita Senior High School, but that's where their similarities end.

But the man's going through it. And as much as Miguel thinks he's a nuisance, he's not (He sighs.) the worst thing on the planet. He stands up and takes his cookie. He walks five steps and places it on the mountain of papers he calls a desk.

Is that too cheesy? Too vague? Too incomprehensible?

He hears the lounge open, and he sees a familiar spike of greying brown hair walking forward, about to take a right.

Miguel panics. He looks around for- aha- a pen and draws a haphazard smiley face on the bag. It's shakey, and Gabriella can do better. But Gabriella is a saint, of course she could do better.

Miguel runs back to his seat and stays completely still. He starts counting. Peter walks past his cubicle, his cheap cologne smelling very faintly of cedar and vanilla.

"Oh, nice." Peter says. "Free cookie."

Miguel feels underwhelmed. Maybe he'll never do anything nice ever again.

-

[elizabethswitch]

I know it's meant to be creepy. I know. But the whole 26 September escapade cracks me up every time. I'm fine until they get to the theme restaurant, but as soon as Jack gets lost in the suburbs I start to snicker.

Yakety sax starts up in my head, Jack keeps turning down wrong alleyways, bobbing behind newsstands to hide from the horse patrol, clambers over a 12 ft brick wall like nothing, gets lost again in a cemetery, pouts behind a tree, gets lost again again chasing a scantily clad vampire lady, clambers back over a big brick wall with a floppy toddler, jumpscares a cop with a baby, runs away from that, and somehow hails a cab at four in the morning in outer London. Van Helsing is there.

These aren't badass vampire hunters, this is some Keystone Kops bs. This is Dracula meets the Monkees. I can't. Y'all.

[mshroom1e]

A Ride For Two | Floyd x GN! Reader

I'm back after a long short writer's block. yayyy.

type: fanfic

Summary: Floyd steals borrows Kalim's magic carpet to take you out on a little nighttime escapade.

2.1k words

tag(s): friends to lovers, confession, painfully sweet fluff

Warning(s): none

Nightime was for sleeping. Wasn't it? That's what you thought, too. After a long day of chasing around your trio of best friends and keeping them out of any accidental trouble, you were nackered.

All was calm and silent. Grim was asleep at the foot of your bed, and your ghost roommates seemed to also retire for the day. You were comfortable in your nightwear, getting ready to pass out like a log for the next few - hopefully eight - hours.

Tap.

Ramshacke dorm sure was old. Random sounds of the inferstructute shifting on itself and other things creaking and tapping was like background music at this point. Barely different to the the way one thought of the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling upon contact with the wind.

Tap.

It was the sound again. This time, it was like the sound that happens when tapping on glass.

Glass.

You slowly got up from your bed. The wooden frame creaking as your body mass shifted across the mattress. Carefully, your feet landed on the floor with a quiet pat, hoping to keep your feline companion from stirring in his sleep.

A shadow loomed outside your window. A lanky one. Estimated to be around six feet and three inches tall. You squinted your eyes in confusion. Breathing in weird chemicals during alchemy class was really starting to get to you. The tapping continued as there was movement from the shadow on the other side of the clear barrier.

You quickly drew your curtains to the side and was met with the face of your favourite mer.

Floyd was at your window, sporting his mischievous grin and squinted eyes. Your eyes widened, and you shreaked, "Floyd?!"

His smile grew, and he said something in response, though you couldn't hear him due to the glass.

"Huh?"

He gestured for you to open the window, and you complied. As soon as you did, a mighty gust of wind rushed past, and the curtains fluttered, whipping around your body along with your clothes. You stared at Floyd with a starstruck expression, eyes wide and highlighted by the shine from the moon and stars with your mouth slightly agape.

"Floyd?" You breathed with confusion.

"C'mon, Shrimpy, let's go for a ride!" He held out his hand for you to hold onto and leaned in.

"What are you doing?!" You shrieked, "How are you flyiNg?!"

Floyd laughed at your panick and the way your voice broke at the end of your sentence.

He wordlessly leaned over to pick you up from under your arms like a toddler. You hovered in the air for a second before you were effortlessly hoisted up and onto whatever Floyd was floating on.

You blinked once. Then twice.

"Let's hang out," Floyd sang with his face inches away from yours.

"Wait, this carpet..."

"Yeah?"

"Is this Kalim's?!" Your voice cracked again, "How did you even-"

He simply laughed and watched your face change to an expression of panick, panick, and more panick with a hint of terror.

You stared him with your mouth hanging open in complete shock. You knew Floyd often acted upon his impulses and did some things that were out of the ordinary, but this was something you didn't expect.

"If Jamil finds out, he's gonna explode!" You shrieked, balling fists into your hair.

"Sea otter said it was fine," Floyd continued to smile his smug smile, "And if sea snake finds out, so what?"

So, Floyd didn't steal Kalim's magic carpet, aka one of the most precious items in the entirety of the Scalding Sands- or even the whole of Twisted Wonderland and beyond. Although, that didn't stop your mind from racing in sheer panick. What if you accidentally tore it? Or it got stained, and machine washing it would destroy its historical value or something, and it needed money to be fixed? You'd be stuck paying that debt for the rest of your life-

Floyd looked over at you in your bewildered state. A pair of large hands grabbed at your face by your cheeks and snapped you out of your trance, and you turned your eyes towards the owner of said hands. He squished your cheeks several times, staring at your various facial expressions as he did so. Ever since you got to spend more time with him, it was something that he often did when your brain went into overdrive and you blanked. Strangely, it always seemed to calm you down quite a lot.

"What if we have to pay for damages or something?!" Your brain was finally putting words together in coherent sentences again. That was good.

"Don't think about it now, shrimpy," He smiled at you softly, "For right now, just have some fun, yeah?"

You furrowed your brows and crossed your arms, "Don't wanna."

"But there's somewhere I wanna take you," He grinned at you cheekily, and you couldn't hold your resolve any longer.

"...Fine, but tell me where we're going!"

"It's a surprise!"

"Just tell me!"

"Don't wanna." Floyd mimicked you, and you sighed heavily. This was going to be a long night.

But at least the merboy wasn't dragging you all the way to the bottom of the ocean or anything crazy like that. Right?

When all was said and done, you found yourselves far away from campus and leaving Sage's Island. You looked around in awe in wonder. It truly was beautiful here. There weren't many landmarks aside from the two campuses on the island and trees, which seemed very close and very tall from the distance. The sky remained dark as the sun had long since retired for the day, the colors of blue darkening even further as the stars and full moon made their rounds.

Maybe it was the height at which you watched the island from, or it was the fact that you were with a certain teal-headed sophomore, but the view was much more breathtaking than you'd imagined it would be.

"It's so pretty up here," you sighed.

Birds flocked around and you turned to Floyd with a relaxed smile, only to find him already staring at you with an awestruck expression.

It was rare to see Floyd this quiet, as he was never shy of voicing his emotions whenever he wanted to. For once, he didn't seem like he wanted to be making jokes or teasing you. His head tilted back slightly as the breeze brushed through his hair, and you could feel your heart stammer for no good reason. You averted your gaze away and scratched at your ear.

"Thanks for bringing me up here," you mumbled with a gulp, a little sheepish from your earlier panick and apprehension.

He grinned and took your hand without hesitation, his fingers gently curling around yours, "Anytime."

The moonlight shone on the pair of you as the two soared towards the edge of the island that bordered the sea. The carpet slowly lowered itself down onto the sandy terrain, and you could see the water tumble over its own body a short distance away.

Floyd moved closer to you, taking your hand in his as if it was the most natural thing to do and lead you towards the water.

He left you at the water's edge and began removing his shirt, making your face burn.

"Uh...what are you doing?" You managed to croak, warmth still biting at your cheeks.

He smirked at you, "Going for a swim."

Before you could reply and even try and argue, you noticed that Floyd had slipped off his shirt and was now entering the water. Slowly, his smooth skin grew scales as his body changed colour. He'd transformed into his eel form after getting a feel of the water.

For a few moments, you watched him swim around, disappearing into the water and occasionally appearing out of it to glance at you with a grin. His movements were smooth and graceful. His tail moved lazily through the water and you noticed it was quite muscular but soft looking. Almost like a cat's, you thought absentmindedly.

Now that you thought about it, you'd seen Floyd in his mer form many times. Though for some reason, this time felt different. Maybe it was the way the moon rays reflected off of each of his glistened scales and the look of pure joy that graced his features as he swam freely. Or maybe it was because he had a playful, endearing twinkle in his eyes. He looked at peace and free, and that is what made you happy.

You were so caught up in admiring Floyd that you failed to notice his presence next to you as you subconsciously neared the shoreline. His cold, smooth tail stroked your calf. Startled, you stumbled backwards and fell over onto your butt, sending him into a fit of laughter.

Floyd giggled and grabbed your hand, tugging you closer to the sea.

"I'm gonna get wet!" You shreiked as you felt the chilly waves hit your feet.

Floyd pouted and furrowed his brows into an expression that looked more cute than angry. "I can just dry you with magic."

"But-"

"Come on~!" He drew out his words, and you sighed.

You reluctantly stepped forward until your feet made contact with the wet sand,

"Alright, alright! But if I get sick, I'm blaming you!"

His eyes lit up, and he pulled your hand again, dragging you across the wet ground and into the rising water. You yelped at how cold the water was on your skin and almost fell on your behind again. After the second time of stepping into the water, your skin tingled pleasantly, and the sensation made you smile.

Floyd let go of your hand to turn around and grab your waist before swimming backwards with you now in front of him. His arms wrapped around your waist protectively yet gently, and you could faintly feel his heartbeat through your now damp clothes. You were so close and close enough that you could see every single detail on his face.

Your eyes were locked onto his teal skin, and you felt as though someone was holding your heart tightly in their grip and wouldn't ever let go.

"Hey," Floyd called out to you, and it took you a moment to snap out of whatever spell you were under.

"Hm?" You glanced at him.

"I love you," He whispered quietly, his voice filled with such sincerity that felt almost alien to you.

You blinked.

Oh.

You stared at Floyd for a moment, stunned. Your mouth hung open for a moment, your brain scrambling to comprehend what he just said. The air suddenly became very thick and you were worried your heart would explode. All the blood in your body froze. You couldn't hear a single noise coming from anywhere, nor could you hear your own ragged breathing. All that seemed to matter was Floyd, who was currently gazing at you as if you were the most priceless treasure that he had ever seen. Your heart was pounding in your chest violently, thumping wildly as your eyes widened in surprise.

You weren't even sure what you and Floyd were. From the way he treated you compared to others, you knew he saw you as maybe a little more than a friend, but you were never certain. If anything, you hid your feelings for him throughout your friendship in hopes of not ruining a relationship you were already more than happy with. Floyd was impulsive and often did a lot of things considered out of the ordinary, sure, but the sincerity in both his eyes and voice said that this wasn't the case.

It seems like "best friends" was no longer an accurate description of your relationship.

Slowly, you felt a huge grin spread across your face. Floyd returned the smile, his pointy teeth shining brighter when the moonlight reflected against them, and his face illuminated with mirth. Then, slowly, his hands lifted themselves to frame your face, and he slowly leaned closer, bringing his lips to meet with yours in an awkward kiss. His lips were soft and slightly wet from the saltiness of the sea breeze. It felt wonderful. After a while, you broke apart slowly, smiling happily at each other, and a wave of jumbled but positive emotions washed over you. It was overwhelming. You couldn't believe it. You were happy, absolutely happy, ecstatic even! Why? Because Floyd loved you. That stupid fishface loved you.

"Me too," you breathed quietly as the moon's silver ribbons illuminated your eyes, "I like you a lot."

Maybe this interruption to your sleep time wasn't so bad after all.

◁--《

[spacecadet-sims]

Casting Call for @spacecadet-sims' Double Shot At Love: Beguiling the Heirs

Atticus and Imogen Gryswald are world-renown philanthropists who, up until now, have spent their time leading fast-paced, free-wheeling lives without too much of a care for finding steadiness and security (outside of monetarily).

The elder Grywalds have had enough of the near-scandal filled escapades of their darling twins, however, and have offered them an ultimatum: find spouses or be disinherited.

But where's the fun in doing anything traditionally?

Full application below the cut:

I'm looking for 14 sims to fill this double shot at love challenge; 7 for Atticus and 7 for Imogen. This will be mostly story-based with some gameplay sprinkled throughout.

Please tag me @spacecadet-sims in the post as well as hashtag #scbth application for consideration. If I do not reblog your post within a day, please message me as I may not have seen your submission.

Applications may be submitted from now until July 8th at 11:59 pm. I'm making the application process long because I work a full-time job, and mother a toddler in most of my downtime. I have some time off work over the holiday, so I'd like to gather my submissions during that time. :)

Any gender/sexuality for either. They’re both queer.

Please include the following bio with your submission:

Name: Age: Gender: Pronouns: Sexuality: Occupation: Likes: Dislikes: Favorites (music, food, etc): Traits: Aspiration: Family/Important Friends/Pets?: Short Bio: Anything other misc. information?:

Please have your characters dressed in the following: 2 casual outfits 2 formal outfits 2 party outfits at least 1 of each other outfit type

I may require additional information if I select your submission for when I'm compiling my reference page, and thereafter the story as it unfolds. :)

Quick FAQs from my last attempt at this challenge:

Can we submit more than one sim? Yes. There's not a guarantee that both will be chosen, but please feel free to submit two unrelated sims, friends, siblings, exes, etc.

Do entries need to be wealthy? No! Potential admirers can be from any socioeconomic background. The Gryswalds do not worry for wealth, and would take care of a spouse who does.

Will this be scripted? Partially! I will be taking some liberties with conversations, personalities or reactions to things. I’ll do my best to not make the contestants too out of character. I won’t be controlling the contestants beyond instructing them to complete a task when it’s needed or to pose them. I won’t initiate intimacy unless the heirs whims include it. If they’re prompted into intimacy by contestants, especially on dates, I’ll likely let it happen.

Will this be NSFW? It could be! I'll try not to show anything too graphic, but there could be instances of intimacy.

How will eliminations be conducted? Eliminations will be based on relationship levels within the romance and friendship bars. If there’s a tie, it’ll go to whoever is more attracted to the heirs. If attraction is also a tie, I’ll either use WheelDecide or ask the audience. I’ll likely ask the audience for other reasons as well.

Limitations on CC? I’d prefer you kept away from alpha hair and eye CC (as I have a preference), but all other CC is fine and accepted. I have all packs, except the most recent couple and Batuu.

[sentience-if]

Val/Io/Klaus does have the highest potential for funny sitcom-esque escapades.

Klaus walking through town with Io and Val on leashes

"Wow, Klaus I really don't think you should be doing that in public."

"No, no this isn't the kinky leash."

"What."

"That one I do keep in the bedroom, this is made of tougher material so Io can't gnaw through it, this is to stop them from trying to get more union members."

"More members...is that a se-."

"I DON'T GODDAMN KNOW! AND I CAN'T AFFORD MORE PICKET LINES IN FRONT OF THE FRIDGE, SO I'M NOT FINDING OUT!"

can't turm your back for a fuckin second on those two. I'm imagining the toddler backpack leashes

[pleasanttaleswithkaityb]

The Burb Household

Spring, Year 1

John donned his barista apron with the flair of a caped crusader off to fight the decaffeinated woes of Pleasantview. Meanwhile, with the punctuality of a seasoned commuter, Lucy made her daily beeline for the bus, her backpack a treasure trove of school-day essentials and secret snacks. The kitchen became the stage for a breakfast duet between Jennifer and Kody, a symphony of cereal crunches and babbling discourse on topics as vast as the ocean and as profound as the latest cartoon escapades. Their dialogue, a dance of maternal wisdom and toddler insights, was a harmonious balance to the morning rush. But as the phone rang with the jingle of professional duty, Jennifer's face became the canvas of a thousand expressions, each painting a story of late-night efforts now basking in the limelight of recognition.

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