#today was so unproductive i completely got distracted 5 different ways

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

seasoning a corset ama

[illfoandillfie]

Good Times Are Now

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

Summery: A picnic in the park, what could go wrong?

Warnings: mention of Rog smoking but thats it I think

Words: 1989

A/N: This is my first attempt at something fluffy so I hope it’s okay. I’m fairly aromantic irl but uhhhhh Roger’s got me dreaming about cute dates ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Title taken from one of Roger’s solo songs cause I’ve been listening to Fun In Space a ridiculous amount this week its so good you need to check it out if you haven’t already)

Taglist: @midniightshow (since you requested the fluff, figured I’d tag you in it)

(this photo may or may not have been on my mind literally the entire time I was writing this oh my god hes so cute what the actual fuck)

You couldn’t believe how slowly the morning was going. It felt like someone had put a spell on the clock to make time creep along at a snail’s pace. Every time you looked up from your work to find that only a minute or two had passed since last time, you groaned inwardly. You knew if you focused on your work the day would go much faster, but you couldn’t help being distracted today. Not only was it Friday, your early day when you got to leave work at one o’clock, but you also had plans to meet up with your boyfriend Roger for a late lunch. He’d got back from tour two days ago and you were both still resenting having to leave each other for more than 5 minutes, especially for something as boring as your job. You’d considered calling in sick this morning and were starting to wish you had. You glanced at the clock again and sighed as you realised just how little time had passed since your last look.

The rest of your day passed as unproductively as the morning had, dragging its heels through a mess of bad coffees and unsympathetic hour hands. But finally, it was time to pack up. You knew that come Monday you would regret not getting much work done but that was a problem for future you. For now, your thoughts remained solidly on Roger and the lunch that was awaiting. You caught the bus to a small park not far from your house where Roger had told you to meet him, your heart beat picking up as you got closer. He was sitting on the rock wall that ran around the perimeter of the park, having a smoke while he waited for you. You watched as he slid off the wall and stubbed out the cigarette under his heel  before coming over to greet you. Just seeing him made you feel a little giddy and, had you been able to pull it off, you would have done a heel-click-jump right there in the middle of the street. Instead you contented yourself with throwing your arms around Roger’s neck, sighing into him as you felt his arms wrap around your waist and your feet leave the floor.

“Hi,” his voice muffled against your shoulder, “missed you,” “Missed you too,” you replied with a small giggle. Neither of you were normally quite this clingy, but the tour had been your first extended time away from each other and it hadn’t been easy on you. This wasn’t his first tour and he’d tried to prepare you for the distance but even with all his warnings about how long he’d be gone for and how he wouldn’t always be able to call, and his reassurances about how he’d be thinking of you, you'd found it hard. Many a night had been spent lying awake in a bed that was too big and too empty. You felt as if you hadn’t slept properly since he left. Roger dropped you lightly to the ground again, his hands slipping from your waist. He turned to pick up something you hadn’t noticed off the wall behind him. “What cha got there, Rog?” “Thought we could have lunch in the park,” he said, indicating what you now realised was a picnic basket, as he slipped his free hand into yours and started walking. Catching sight of the slightly surprised look on your face he continued, “don’t worry, I didn’t try and bake anything myself. It’s all store bought. Not gonna poison you after I just got back.” You couldn’t help laughing as he pulled you further into the park. He clearly knew where he wanted to set up and you were more than happy to let him lead you there, your thoughts a little more focused on the food now that he was within reach again. You passed the playground where harried mothers chatted away, their kids running and yelling, and stepped off the path, winding your way between trees and bushes until, eventually, you made it to a patch of grass under a huge oak tree. It was quieter here, though you could still hear some of the kids’ louder screams. Roger passed the basket to you so he could pull out a blanket and spread it over the ground. You kicked off your shoes, kneeled down and began pulling out the basket’s contents. A few different sandwiches, some biscuits, a bottle of juice with cups from home, and two of your favourite fruit tarts from the bakery you love. Roger sat with his back to the tree. “What d’ya think?” “I think we aren’t going to finish this food on our own,” “Cheeky,” he pulled you down to sit on his lap and tilted your head up so he could lay a soft kiss on your lips. You let the kiss deepen for a moment before pulling away. “As much as I have missed kissing you Rog, I haven’t eaten all day and I’d like to get something before the ants do.” He stuck his tongue out at you. You responded in kind.

The next couple of hours were spent eating and talking. Catching up on everything that happened while you were apart that you hadn’t had a chance to talk about yet. He told you all about the tour, where they’d been and what the crowds were like and all the dumb shit they’d done to keep entertained on the bus. In return you told him all about what your family had been doing, and all the latest gossip from work. Infinitely more boring than his stories, you thought, but he hung on your every word. His hands were never far from you, resting on your knee or tracing patterns over your skin or pulling you in so he could press another kiss to your lips. As the afternoon wore on you found yourself resting your head against Roger’s chest as you both lay on the blanket, looking up at the swaying branches. He had one hand tangled in your hair, the other softly tapping out a beat over your own fingers. You could feel your eyes growing heavy as the months of erratic sleep caught up to you.

The next thing you knew was a cold drop against your forehead. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to work out whether the sensation had been part of your dream. Another drop. Definitely not part of your dream. Your eyes flew open as you sat up and took in your surroundings. The afternoon sun was covered by big black clouds that had rolled in while you napped, and you could no longer hear the kids back at the playground. “Shit,” you pushed yourself to your knees and shook Roger’s shoulder, “Rog, wake up. It’s about to start pissing down, we gotta move.” You were already bustling around picking up the discarded cups and leftover food, throwing it all into the basket as Roger stirred groggily, “wha’s hap’ning?” Before you could answer, the rain began to fall in earnest. “Oh, fuck,” You heard behind you as you picked up your discarded shoes. Roger was on his feet in seconds, hastily folding the blanket and shoving it into the basket. He grabbed your hand and you were both running. You ran as fast as you could over the grass as it got steadily more squishy, the rain picking up with every step. By the time you reached the park entrance you were out of breath and completely soaked through. Roger led you over to the bus stop you’d met him at earlier so you could huddle in what little shelter it provided. You took in his bedraggled appearance – hair sticking to his face and neck, shirt askew and clinging to his chest, a streak of mud across his cheek (though you had no idea how it got there) – and couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up in your chest. “Sorry,” you managed through the laughter, “You just look a little ridiculous.” You reached up to push his wet hair back, but it didn’t help. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” he said with a playful push on your shoulder.

As your giggles subsided you turned to look out at the street; people hurrying from under umbrellas into buildings, a queue of cars cautiously creeping through the downpour and no end to the rain in sight. “Next bus doesn’t come for another half hour,” Roger said, peering over your shoulder to look at the timetable behind you. “Might as well just walk it, we’re already soaked and I bet it’ll stop before we’re home,” Roger didn’t look convinced. “C’mon, it’s only a few blocks,” you took his hand in yours and tried to lead him back out into the deluge, “it’s just a little rain, it’s not going to kill us.” “Says you. You’re already starting to shiver.” “Even more reason to get moving then.” This time you succeeded in pulling him out of the small shelter. You twirled yourself under his arm, relishing the way he smiled at your antics, before draping his arm around your shoulders. You were thankful for what little warmth you could share through your soaked clothing as you walked along, pressed into Roger’s side, the chill of the rain beginning to hit you.

By the time you’d reached home your teeth were chattering and you were longing to change into your warmest pjs. “What was it you said about the rain stopping before we got home?” Roger said over his shoulder as he fumbled with the keys in the door. “A-at leas-s-s-t it was f-a-a-ster than th-th-e bus-s,” “Christ Y/N. Gotta get you warmed up,” he opened the door and you both tumbled inside. Roger started pulling off his sodden shoes as you headed straight for the bathroom. You turned the shower on and let it heat up as you began removing your wet clothes. You adjusted the taps so they were as hot as you could handle without sustaining burns and stood there, letting the water run over you, gradually warming you back up. Once you’d regained feeling in your toes you stepped out of the shower, wrapped yourself in the fluffiest towel you could find and headed to your bedroom. You dug through your draws till you found the comfiest flannel pyjama pants you owned and your favourite sweater you’d stolen from Roger. It was old and stained and too big for you, but that hadn’t stopped you wearing it nearly every day Roger was away. It was by far the cosiest thing you owned. As you were pulling the sweater over your head you felt Roger’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling your back against him. He’d changed into his own dry clothes but his fingers still felt chilly against your skin. “All warmed up now?” he mumbled into your neck. “Mmhmm. You?” “Could be warmer.” He didn’t give you any time to react before he turned you round and lifted you over his shoulder. You squealed and thrashed your arms, sleeves that went past your hands waving around, as he carried you through the house to the lounge room, both of you laughing.

The rain was still coming down outside, you could hear it beating against the windows, but there was a fire burning in the fireplace and a nest of blankets and pillows on the couch. Roger lifted you back over his shoulder, lowering you to the ground before making himself comfortable on the couch. His back leaned up against the armrest and his legs stretched out over the length of the couch, giving you no choice but to curl up on his lap. Once you were in position, he threw some of the blankets over the both of you. His arms wrapped around you, inviting you to snuggle into him, and he sighed contentedly against the top of your head. “Much better.”

[theseadagiodays]

May 25, 2020

Orchestrators of Attention

Hayati Evreni’s Persistence of Covid

I typically have a very vivid dream life.  Whole evenings of movies with characters I’ve never met and settings I’ve never seen.  It’s one of the reasons I so love to sleep.  Every night, I have an imagined altered reality to look forward to.  And most mornings, to keep the stimuli of these vistiations fresh, I regale Geoff with a detailed recollection of these colorful fictions.  But last night my reverie was disturbingly similar to my waking life.  Zoom calls with real music students that I’ve been teaching.  The delivery of our commissioned fence mural, which is actually scheduled for this Wednesday.  It’s like so much else during this period, where everything seems to be bleeding into each other.  Days to Weeks.  Work to Home.  And now, even the treasured boundary between my subconscious and conscious life has been compromised.

The fluid nature of perceived time in our current reality is problematic in so many ways.  We are animals who’ve found real comfort from the compartmentilization of our lives.  Separate spaces for every endeavor, from offices to gyms to libraries.  We mark time in dozens of essential ways, with calendars, outfit changes, meal routines, holiday celebrations, happy hours - most all of which have dramatically changed during Covid.  This weekend, I read the best explanation for why we find the circular time that has been foisted on us so difficult.  Man Booker International Winner, Olga Tokarczuk’s Flights is part travel-fiction, part-memoir.  Each vignette is a musing about the human propensity to wander.   Here, she explains why perhaps only those of us truly tied to natural cycles, like growing seasons, can thrive in circumstances like we face today.

Sedentary people prefer the pleasure of circular time, in which every object and event must return to its own beginning, curl back up into an embryo and repeat the process of maturation and death.  But nomads and merchants, as they set off on journeys, had to think up a different type of time for themselves, one that would better respond to the needs of their travels.  That time is linear time, more practical because it was able to measure progress towards a goal or destination, rise in percentages.  Every moment is unique; no moment can ever be repeated.  This idea favors risk-taking, living life to the fullest, seizing the day.  And yet the innovation is a profoundly bitter one: when change over time is irreversible, loss and mourning become daily things.  

So, given that most people in modern society are far more aligned with the nomad/merchant class, it makes sense that we are sentenced to this inevitable grief once our “Just Do It”, “Follow Your Bliss” plans get derailed off-course.   This analysis does not provide any solutions. However, I do think it absolves us of a certain culpability, so that we can stop blaming ourselves for feeling bad or for not handling the new norm as well as we should.  Meanwhile, I think it can still be helpful to look for coping mechanisms, and I’ve found some from Jenny Odell, the unintended Queen of Quarantine who I crowned such after the cogent messages from her 2019 book,  How To Do Nothing, came to be the perfect precepts for our time.

An avid bird-watcher, walker and observer, Odell is a proponent of slowing down to make space to notice.  She calls her book a “field guide to doing nothing as an act of political resistance to the attention economy.”  Her suggestions serve as antidotes to the distracting and fractured nature of attention that the limitless connectivity of our plugged-in lives demands.  So, while most of us are still highly connected online, there are so many other ways in which we’ve become uplugged from life as we knew it.  And I think she is suggesting that, perhaps, instead of seeing this as disconnection, or as an untethering, we can appreciate the space that this is creating for us to develop subtler forms of attention.

Odell describes herself, and all artists, as “orchestrators of attention”.  She sees artists as curators of objects and ideas, re-imagined in ways that allow us to see things differently.  I certainly turn to artists and writers to help me do this.  And ironically, it is a circular journey of a different sort that brought me to her wisdom in the first place.  Lately, I’ve found myself in a strange intellectual fractal.  A quest for philosophical nuggets that has me spinning inside a loop of similar thinkers.

I regulary subscribe to BrainPickings, the source of many such nuggets.  And that’s where I found Victor Frankl’s Yes to Life quote (from March 28 in this blog) about “the power to choose our response”. That newsletter also quoted Rebecca Solnit (Hope in the Dark), who I checked out further on Krista Tippet’s podcast, On Being.  Looking at older episodes of this show, I found an interview with Ezra Klein (Why We’re Polarized), whose podcast just featured Jenny Odell on May 8th: On Nature, Art, and Burnout in Quarantine. https://www.vox.com/podcasts/2020/5/8/21252074/jenny-odell-the-ezra-klein-show-how-to-do-nothing-coronavirus-covid-19  This inspired me to purchase her new book, with its page 9 quote of none-other-than Solnit, again, this time from her book, Paradise Built in Hell. Back down the Solnit rabbit hole, I found another Frankl reference in this book, now from Man’s Search for Meaning.  And so, the perfect circle was complete.  

May 26, 2020

Unproductivity

Labyrinth project by Emily Carr university mentor, Kitty Bland, and student, Mary Rusk - https://www.ecuad.ca/news/2020/kitty-blandy-and-mary-rusak-find-focus-during-pandemic-with-meditation-pathway

Circular time makes me think of labyrinths.  Mandalas of pathways that lead to nowhere, whose hypnotic ellipses draw our single-pointed focus towards the simple act of walking.   I have always loved these places of reflection.  And I find it erroneous that the term labyrinthian has come to refer to complicated places where we get lost. Because I feel that I actually find myself in such places. The only thing lost is a false sense of destination as the purpose in life.  

Odell subscribes to a similar viewpoint in How to Do Nothing.  Rather than a plea to escape reality, quit our jobs, or shrug our responsibilities, her book is an invitation to question what we perceive as productive. I think our current reality has many of us doing this.  My morning walk has me literally “stopping and smelling the roses” each day, as I’ve seen so many others do during this altered time.  

So, while it has encouraged me to see normally overprogrammed-teens watching sunsets and families chilling for endless hours on front lawns, I have also observed a pattern of apology amongst my peers, when they acknowledge having been “less-productive than usual”, during this period.  So, I’ve taken to meet this only with permission.  This is something I’ve increasingly given myself ever since my excessive drive, as a flutist, left me with a chronic overuse injury that was a wake-up call I’ve only recently been able to truly appreciate.

After this major uninvited “halting” of my career, I became acutely aware of how often people answer “How are you?” with “Busy.”  Particularly artists, who have perhaps been undercompensated, underemployed and underappreciated for so long, it feels like being “busy” is a badge of honor that implies their work is in-demand.  So, I get it.  But still, I have made a point, since this realization, never to answer that question as such.  Busy is not an emotion.  The truth behind the word - feelings of anxiety, overwhelm and fear - are perhaps too telling to reveal.  Because admitting them might mean we have to shift something.  They might force us to slow down and stop busying ourselves, which is maybe the scariest thing of all.  Because then, we have to face who we truly are when we are not “doing”.

To track my own “doing” during quarantine, I’ve been particularly careful about limiting my screen time.  So, I check it weekly.  But it was only this week that I finally went to the second page of the iPhone screen time data, where I found a strange categorization of time.  It breaks it down into Productive, Creative, Social, Entertainment, Reading and Educational use.  However, what they place in each category runs quite counter to what happens to be true for me now.  Photos are listed as a Creative pursuit, however many of my hours have been frittered away deleting unnecessary shots (attempts to capture moments that might have been more mindfully spent camera-free).  So, this endeavor doesn’t feel that creative to me.  Whats App is marked as Social but, of course, it’s now become the arena for some of my most my productive work, since I’m using it as a teaching tool.  And Notes is in the Productive category, even though, as a self-admitted list-addict, my worst time-waster is making and remaking these itemized scrolls intended to render me more efficient, when I can’t even imagine how much “productive” time I must have lost just writing them.

So, we all have something to learn from this clever street artist, whose balloon art gives us an important reminder.

May 27, 2020

Covid Art Museum

So far my “efforts” to do nothing more (as ironic as that sounds) have gone swimmingly.  I deliberately cancelled one of my Zoom calls this week, two other meetings conveniently got cancelled for me, and I was left with many more hours to spend spontaneously. Some of these involved lying in the grass eating gelato.  Others watching passerbys from my front stoop.  And one I spent biking the new “slow street” circuit in Vancouver, which has been designated a car-free zone to create more safe, physically-distant space for cyclists and pedestrains to roam.   That even our roadways are now on a diet from their usual busyness, seems to me a beautiful metaphor.

Of course, some of this time also involved digital daydreaming, as I prefer to romantically call surfing the web.  But using the intentional lens of seeking artistic responses to share on this blog makes even this indulgence feel more guilt-free.  So, this week, it landed me on a very cool Instagram page, full of visual reflections about this time (digital illustrations, photographs, sketches, watercolors and more).  In fact, it’s where I stumbled upon the balloon art, above, which evolved into my entire week of blog entries.  Quite a few pieces reference circular time in some way (above).  And a remarkable number of them depict doing nothing (below).  Jenny Odell is clearly on to something...

https://www.instagram.com/covidartmuseum/?hl=en

May 28, 2020

Hidden Symphonies

Udo Noll, a Berlin-based media artist and founder of Radio Aporee, a digital global sound map, documented before and during the pandemic

The music of my environment has always captivated me. In fact, I dedicate almost an entire chapter of my novel to birdsong.  I love the voice memo feature on my phone, which I use like an auditory camera, as I travel.   I’ve learned that this is not a habit many people share.  Until recently, that is.  Because it seems that suddenly, we are all beginning to listen more.   Now, with less traffic, quieter commercial corridors, and other colluding factors, there is left an amazing amplification of the soundscapes which always existed behind the din.    

Before Covid, a long tradition of deep listening has been cultivated by various sound artists.  American composer, Pauline Oliveros founded the Deep Listening Institute in 1985 (originally called the Pauline Olveros Foundation).  Here, she invited musicians to improvise and record, in particularly resonant and reverberant spaces like caves, to inspire extra-sensitive responsiveness.  

In the 70’s, Canadian composers, Hildegard Westercamp and Murray Shafer, started the World Soundscape Project (https://www.sfu.ca/~truax/wsp.html), which recorded Vancouver’s sonic landscape to illustrate the negative effects of noise pollution, ultimately resulting in more positive guidelines for urban acoustical design.

Acoustic ecologist, Gordon Hempton says that silence is not the absence of sound, but rather the presence of everything. In the short documentary, Sanctuaries of Silence, he offers tools for seeking silence amidst noisy urban life.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUxMdYhipvQ

But his suggestions probably never could have predicted Covid, which has achieved this result with alarming swiftness.   British sound artist and field recordist, Stuart Fowkes has been tracking the soundscapes of this disquieting time on his website, Cities and Memory.  https://citiesandmemory.com/covid19-sounds/

Here, you can click on one of 3,000+ global coordinates and listen to everything from empty flagpoles, and ticking radiators, to kites flying.  Anyone is welcome to contribute, using #stayhomesounds.  And this is my own addition to the catalogue:

Bullfrogs mating: https://youtu.be/ZoKT-RlDfs8

The New York Times, has tracked the music of the pandemic in another interesting way.  Measuring by decibels (below), they compare the soundscape of a normally busy Manhattan street, before and during quarantine. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/05/22/upshot/coronavirus-quiet-city-noise.html

Pre-covid nights sound more like quarantine days, averaging around 64 decibels.

Another bi-product of the pandemic is a trend towards birdwatching.  The world’s attention was brought to birding this week, due to an unfortunate racist incident that occurred in New York’s Central Park.  Christian Cooper was drawn to the park because of the orioles and yellow warblers he could find there.  While birding, he politely asked a woman if she would kindly put her dog on a leash. When she refused, he insited and she proceeded to call the cops.  Cooper was armed with little more than binoculars and a camera.  But apparently, his crime was being black.  The woman was white.  Luckily, he caught her ridiculous cry for help (“I’m being threatened by an African-American man.”) on camera.  The video immediately went viral and resulted in her being fired from her job. Graciously, he remarked today in the Times, that this punishment did not fit her crime, and while he wants to hold her to account for her racist behavior, he doesn’t believe that “her life needs to be torn apart.”

Whatever her fate, if this time inspires deeper listening for you, let’s hope your soundscape walks are far less eventful than his was.

May 29, 2020

Covid Shuffle

Brooklyn’s usually bustling Fort Greene Park, during the pandemic

From the beginning of social distancing, I have been quite fascinated by the complicated choreography we are collectively participating in.  I would give anything to be an eagle, looking down from above, just to witness the maze of interwoven patterns that our sidewalk dances create.   And I am not the only person interested in this do-si-do.  

If you search “six feet apart” on YouTube, you can’t imagine how many musicians, famous or otherwise, have composed new songs with this exact title (IE. country singer, Luke Combs, teen pop star, Alec Benjamin).  It’s just one of many things that illustrate the uncanny global resonance that is happening right now, even while there are still vast differences between the ways people experience this pandemic.

Personally, I’m partial to this rap, written as a PSA for UNC Health, by The Holderness Family, a modern-day Al Yankovich-style parody band comprised of former FOX sportscaster, Penn Holderness with his wife and kids. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XjfCeY4D2QI

Deeper into this search, I found another music video, by a different family band in LA, called Haim.  These three Grammy-nominated sisters have written the song, I Know Alone to express how quarantine living has felt for them.  Meanwhile, they appropriately dance to their lyrics six feet apart.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.vulture.com/amp/2020/04/haim-i-know-alone-video-album-release-date.html

In the dance world, old colleagues of mine, from Flagstaff, Arizona, will host a virtual Festival that starts this Friday, May 29th, featuring original socially-distant choreography from movers all over the Southwest.  Fittingly, it’s called the Six Feet Apart Dance Festival.

https://canyonmovementcompany.org/cmc/upcoming-events/

Documenting the Covid shuffle in a very different way, Toronto geographer, Daniel Rotszdain created a “social distancing machine” to demonstrate just how difficult a genuine 6-foot radius is to maintain in public space.

And finally, this hip hop dance compilation, made in 2019, could be the anthem for our times.

MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJskIJGEsd8

[udemy-gift-coupon-blog]

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[mvssmallow]

Cloudy With A Chance

Part 12: …of Shorts Weather.

Masterlist

2 weeks later.

Hanbin taps his fingers to a directionless rhythm on the surface of his table. He’s written two paragraphs, both terrible, on a topic he wishes someone else got. Sometimes he loves his job but sometimes he wonders if he was just wasting his time writing articles he barely cares about.

“Are you planning on branching out into EDM? Dub-step? Big beat?” Donghyuk asks wearily from behind his laptop.

“Huh?”

“Oh I assume that’s what the tapping is about? Because surely you can’t be doing that just to annoy me, right?”

He retracts his finger back into his fist. “Sorry. This article just really isn’t working.”

Donghyuk sighs and looks at the clock on the wall before taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. “I’d help you but mine isn’t really working either. Business Week is so boring to write about. It’s nearly 3 though, why don’t you make yourself useful and do the caffeine run?”

“Yeah okay. Do you want the same thing again?”

“No, we’re stuck in a rut. I feel like something different today. Surprise me. Might not be such a bad idea for you to try something new as well?”

Hanbin rolls his eyes as he passes Donghyuk’s desk on the way out, “Yes, Dad.”

The temperature in their office is always set at a crisp 22 degrees (to prevent cozy unproductive lethargy) but outside is a warm and sunny 30 degrees. It’d be stifling if there wasn’t a light breeze through his thin summer shirt and it’d be even more unbearable if Jiwon hadn’t sent his obligatory text at 7am that morning.

[hey, fyi its gonna be really hot 2day. SHORTS WEATHER!!! have a good day at work, call me later xxJ]

He chuckles to himself thinking of how many pairs of shorts Jiwon must own by now (probably a few pairs shy of 100). It gets him thinking about Jiwon’s wardrobe, then his room, then his apartment…

…the one that Hanbin has never even been to.

Was it weird? It must be weird. They’ve never even seen the inside of each other’s apartments. Or hugged since that day at June’s. Or even had a proper date by themselves. Or kissed again.

It was weird.

It was backwards.

He frowns as he passes the bookshop where there’s a poster for the new book by Haruki Murakami, no doubt about another tragically beautifully relationship that will have him turning the pages well into the dawn and wondering why his own life wasn’t as poetic or why he couldn’t write as well or why he just can’t be like everyone else.

Stop it Hanbin.

Stop it.

He wills himself to stop mourning about normalcy or wanting to join the conveyer belt of society-approved romantics when he knows that the thing he has with Jiwon is totally and utterly not normal.

He’s feeling better by the time he’s reached the familiar corner cafe. It welcomes him in with its comforting smell of sweet chocolate, happy yellow almond cakes, floral herbal teas and life-affirming coffee. Maybe that’s why everyone who works there looks like they’ve got a permanent IV drip to the fountain of youth and all the customers come in looking like fading zombies.

He waits for his order by the window, getting lost in watching life walk up and down the street; there was an old man trying to courier a giant painting on his bike, a teenage punk with about fifteen piercings on his face and a young couple trying to corral their three tiny children in line for ice-cream.

But inevitably, as with most of his thought processes lately, he ends up thinking about Jiwon and what he’d be doing at the garage right at that moment. It’s pervasive, just like his negative thoughts, but instead of drowning in anxiety, anything Jiwon-flavoured fills him with security and optimism. He’s trying to adjust but the change still constantly surprises him (in a good way). No matter how wild and convoluted his thoughts become or how far they stray off course, Jiwon is always there in his mind, like a lighthouse at sea or a magnet that drags him back to North.

On a whim, Hanbin takes his phone out of his pocket.

[hey, do you want to have dinner together tonight?]

He’s walking back to the office when he gets a reply.

[do we have to cook it?]

[no, hospitals dates aren’t fun]

[then yes, lol. sorry really swamped right now, call you later]

[ok bunny, xxh]

[xxj]

It’s 5:30pm and the sun is beginning to ride low in the sky, casting a golden-peach haze over the city. Jiwon is waiting across the street from his office but instead of walking towards the car, Hanbin feels like he’s walking straight into a John Hughes high school movie.

Jiwon is leaning casually against the driver’s side door, scrolling and smiling at something on his phone. He’s wearing that soft worn-in white t-shirt that Hanbin likes (and has put on his To Steal One Day list), the sleeves are rolled up high to reveal more of the smooth tanned skin of his arms, each ridge and muscle defined every time the sun hits at the right angle. His hair is getting longer now, falling and tickling his eyes until he looks up to shake it away.

It’s then that their eyes meet across the street.

And Hanbin feels 15 years old again. He’s taken back to the exact moment when he first locked eyes with the American exchange student who transferred to his school and awoke everything that had been lying dormant in his mind for 15 years.

He swallows thickly and tries to calm down the intensity of his emotions but the way his stomach still drops, even after all this time, the way his smile is automatic in Jiwon’s presence, the way he can’t remember anything terrible for those few seconds, the way everything was so obvious, even if neither of them said it out loud….

This must be his Murakami moment.

Stop it, Hanbin.

Stop romanticising everything.

He’s just a person.

He’s just a person.

He’s honestly surprised he doesn’t get run over while trying to cross the road because did he even look both ways? He doesn’t remember.

“Hey.” Jiwon’s smile is bright and toothy, it says absolutely everything about him.

“Hey.” He says, wondering frantically if they should hug or kiss or handshake or high five now.

“Good day at work?”

“Not really, I couldn’t write anything decent.” He sighs.

“Oh that sucks.” Jiwon says as he pushes himself off the car and comes around to open the passenger’s side door. “What’s your topic this week?”

Hanbin just stares at the gesture as Jiwon walks away to open his own door. “Oh ummm, the the rise of mid-twenties CEOs and the growth of independent businesses.”

When they’re both buckled in, Jiwon wakes the Beast up with that brutal growl that always shoots straight to the primitive corner of Hanbin’s brain and gets his adrenaline going.

“Hey, why don’t you talk to June or Yoyo? They’ve got their own business and have a lot of friends like that. Might help you get some ideas?”

Hanbin pauses. Why didn’t he think of that?

“Why didn’t I think of that? Urgh, where were you eight hours ago?” He groans.

Jiwon gives him a proud smile that makes him look 10 years old. “Underneath the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Wait, what?” Hanbin’s eyes widen in surprise and his voice is annoyingly high-pitched.

“Someone dropped off a 1961 California Spyder at the garage today.” Comes the cheeky reply and Hanbin grumbles with fake irritation, reaching over to punch Jiwon on the arm, leaving the other cackling and pretending that it hurts.

“You’re a jerk.” He says, trying to keep the relief out of his voice but obviously failing because he knows when he’s been busted. “Anyway, have all the car affairs you want. I think I’m going to just call you next time I get writer’s block though.”

Jiwon shifts the BMW into reverse, arm coming to rest behind Hanbin’s seat as he backs out onto the street, the movement causing just the faintest ghost of that familiar woodsy cologne to float between them. “So am I your new personal consultant?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the pay like?”

“Terrible. Virtually zero dollars.”

“God, how cheap are you?!” Jiwon teases as they stop at a red light, he fiddles with the buttons to the sound system before settling on an old Drake song.“You couldn’t afford me anyway.”

“Oh really. What’s your going rate these days?”

“One million dollars,” Jiwon replies smugly before looking across with that arrogant smirk that Hanbin finds annoyingly attractive. “Or….like, 20 hugs.”

Hanbin gives him an amused scoff. “Only 20? Deal.”

“No, I changed my mind. I want 40.”

“Oh 40? Then, no. No deal.”

Jiwon laughs loudly. “Fine. I’ll just keep all these good ideas to myself.”

“You are such a loser. It’s all your fault for being so distracting when I’m trying to work.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! In case you forgot, you agreed to date me so really, who is the bigger loser here?” Jiwon says. “And besides, if you blame me for anything, you’re kinda half blaming yourself. That’s the way things work now.”

Hanbin opens his mouth but ends up saying nothing.

Jiwon looks over with a quirk of his eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m stealing that to use in a future article.”

“Okay, I’ll put it on your tab. You owe me one million dollars and 40 hugs.”

“This is turning out to be a costly relationship.” He says with an exaggerated frown that really just wants to be a smile.

“Yeah suck it up, buddy.” Jiwon laughs. “Anyways, since you’re so poor, I’ll get dinner tonight. What do you feel like?”

“Italian?”

“You want to go eat out or…” Jiwon trails off, an uncertain expression on his angular face.

“I don’t really want to sit in a restaurant.” Hanbin says, trying to be brave for once but looking out the window the entire time. “Can we just get take-out? We could come back and eat it at my apartment.”

“Oh.” Jiwon says, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Only if you want to.” He adds quickly, heart jumping right into his throat as he dares to flick his eyes up in curiosity.

Jiwon is just smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Cool. I want pasta then.” He says in relief but still completely avoiding Jiwon’s eyes again out of embarrassment. “And something with bacon.”

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

It’s just one word but it still causes the butterflies in his stomach to crash into each other like a fleet of kamikaze bombers. He wonders when the thrill will wear off and hopes that the answer is: never.

After finding the Italian restaurant, they sit in the parking lot listening to the rest of the Drake album while waiting for their order. It’s exactly where Hanbin loves to be on a warm evening: in the passengers seat, watching Jiwon sit at the wheel, casually rapping along to old hip-hop and in the process, killing him very very slowly.

“You’re really good.” He says.

“At what? Like, in general?”

He rolls his eyes. “At rapping. You’re so good at it. Do you ever want to get back to it? Do it seriously?”

Jiwon scrunches up his face like Hanbin just reminded him of something painful. “Yeah but something always comes up, you know?”

Neglected dreams are something Hanbin knows all about.

“Yeah I do actually. I’ve been wanting to write my book for awhile but it’s never gone beyond a passing hobby. Work kinda gets in the way. Or life does.”

“You should just write it.” Jiwon replies simply.

“And you should just rap.” He shoots back.

Jiwon lets out a quiet sigh as he plays with the door handle. “I need practice. The other guys would kick my ass if I turned up to battles like this. I want to go back though. One day.”

“So why don’t you? You could probably kick all their asses.”

Jiwon chuckles. “Have you even heard the other guys?”

Hanbin looks over shrugging. “Is that even relevant? It doesn’t make you any less good.”

“You rate me way too highly.” Jiwon says but even as the words come out he’s reaching across to run his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. “And you’re not exactly objective. Would you tell me if I was shit?”

“Of course I would! What do you take me for? Not like I’m blinded by-”

Oh no.

Shut up Hanbin.

He talked himself into a corner again.

Panic starts to set in but strangely enough, it doesn’t fully take hold because Jiwon doesn’t even tease or ask him about it, he just softly raps along to the music and continues playing with Hanbin’s hair until they get called in to pick up their order.

The good thing about anxiety is that all it takes for you to stop worrying about one thing is to become so distracted with another until there’s just a neat orderly ranking system. He likes systems. The order calms his mind. He was so busy being stressed about saying the wrong thing in the car that he totally ran out of time to worry about Jiwon seeing his apartment.

“Okay, so, come in. It’s a bit messy.” He says nervously as he pushes his door open and hastily tidies the stack of unread catalogues by the entrance.

Jiwon wanders in gingerly, looking around and chuckling inwardly at the distinct lack of mess anywhere. “I was here two weeks ago. Remember?”

“You were only in my doorway. Don’t judge the rest of it.” He says as he toes off his Nikes and jams his feet into old Snoopy slippers. “The kitchen is through there.”

“I’m not gonna judge it!” Jiwon shouts as he pads into the kitchen, placing the plastic bag of food on the small wooden table before turning around to survey the neat space. “God. It looks like an accident happened in here. How can you even live like this!!?”

Hanbin knows it’s just teasing but he goes red anyway. “I bet your place is worse!” He fires back.

Jiwon shrugs and grins. “I don’t know, want to come over next week?”

“Next week?”

“Yeah I’m gonna need the entire week to clean it.”

He kicks at Jiwon’s shin, the Snoopy slippers cushioning most of the blow and completely defeating the purpose. “Loser.”

“Stop being rude to your guest.” Jiwon scolds mockingly before pointing to the cupboards. “So where do you keep your plates and stuff?”

He gives a brief tour of his kitchen, from the over processed pantry to his collection of cartoon mugs, pointedly ignoring the sniggers when Jiwon finds all his new plates and cutlery still in their boxes. “Have many people over, Hanbin?”

“Only you and the Queen.” He snaps.

They sit and eat at his small dining table, talking about which one of them should learn to how to cook (both), which one is neater (definitely Hanbin), which one is better at fixing things (definitely Jiwon) and which one would be more likely to become a millionaire before the age of 30 (definitely neither).

It’s only when they’re standing at his sink to do the dishes that the occasion catches up with Hanbin.

Jiwon was in his apartment.

They just had dinner together.

He didn’t have an aneurysm from the stress.

What would Murakami write about this?

“Hanbin?”Jiwon is holding a wet dish out for him to dry. “In your head again?”

He takes the plate and nods. “I’m just thinking.”

“Anything you want to tell me about?”

“I was just thinking of the rap thing again. You’re so good Jiwon. It’d be such a waste if you didn’t just go for it. I’m sure you’re awesome at the garage because you’re good with your hands and I promise I’ll still like you no matter what you end up doing but honestly, you should really think about the rap thing again.” He doesn’t know why he always sounds so flighty and high-pitched when he rambles.

Jiwon gives him that one unreadable look that Hanbin had never been able to decipher. He has no idea what it means. It’s the one with the small smile, slight nod and slow blinks. What the hell does that one mean?

“I’ll think about it okay?”

“Yeah you should.”

“Hey, let’s make a pact.”

Hanbin gives him a condescending look. “Are you 12 years old? Are we at summer camp? Where are the friends-forever bracelets?”

Jiwon flicks water at him. “No listen, let’s both do it together. You start your book and I’ll do this rap thing. Give ourselves like a year? If it doesn’t go anywhere at least we can say we tried?”

“Seriously?” He asks skeptically.

“Seriously.” Jiwon nods and reaches over to dry his hands on the tea towel Hanbin is still holding. “That way we’ll both be annoying at the same time.”

“And stressed at the same time.”

“But maybe happy and successful at the same time?”

He shakes his head. “You haven’t thought this through. We’re going to need a plan. We should really make a plan. I have planning paper.” He says, trying to be helpful.

Jiwon takes the tea towel from his hands, throwing it on the bench before pulling at his shirt. “Come here.”

He has a fleeting thought about gravity before silencing his brain and sinking into Jiwon’s arms.

Oh.

Finally.

Their first proper hug.

He all but melts into it like gooey chocolate, savouring how reassuringly solid Jiwon’s body is underneath his soft cotton t-shirt and the slow sigh he lets out when Hanbin winds his arms around his back. Above all, he savours how truly safe and secure he feels in this completely ordinary and mundane moment. Jiwon was just comforting. Or comfortable. Or both. He was the mash-potato-warm-blanket-kind of comfortable and Hanbin doesn’t want to let go.

“I love that you have planning paper.”

“Surprised?” He mumbles into Jiwon’s t-shirt.

He feels a kiss on the top of his head and fingers brushing through his hair. “No baby, I’m not.”

[ginandvice]

Cloudy With A Chance

Part 12: …of shorts weather.

2 weeks later.

Hanbin taps his fingers to a directionless rhythm on the surface of his table. He’s written two paragraphs, both terrible, on a topic he wishes someone else got. Sometimes he loves his job but sometimes he wonders if he was just wasting his time writing articles he barely cares about. 

“Are you planning on branching out into EDM? Dub-step? Big beat?” Donghyuk asks wearily from behind his laptop.

“Huh?”

“Oh I assume that’s what the tapping is about? Because surely you can’t be doing that just to annoy me, right?”

He retracts his finger back into his fist. “Sorry. This article just really isn’t working.”

Donghyuk sighs and looks at the clock on the wall before taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. “I’d help you but mine isn’t really working either. Business Week is so boring to write about. It’s nearly 3 though, why don’t you make yourself useful and do the caffeine run?”

“Yeah okay. Do you want the same thing again?”

“No, we’re stuck in a rut. I feel like something different today. Surprise me. Might not be such a bad idea for you to try something new as well?”

Hanbin rolls his eyes as he passes Donghyuk’s desk on the way out, “Yes, Dad.”

The temperature in their office is always set at a crisp 22 degrees (to prevent cozy unproductive lethargy) but outside is a warm and sunny 30 degrees. It’d be stifling if there wasn’t a light breeze through his thin summer shirt and it’d be even more unbearable if Jiwon hadn’t sent his obligatory text at 7am that morning.

[hey, fyi its gonna be really hot 2day. SHORTS WEATHER!!! have a good day at work, call me later xxJ]

He chuckles to himself thinking of how many pairs of shorts Jiwon must own by now (probably a few pairs shy of 100). It gets him thinking about Jiwon’s wardrobe, then his room, then his apartment…

…the one that Hanbin has never even been to.

Was it weird? It must be weird. They’ve never even seen the inside of each other’s apartments. Or hugged since that day at June’s. Or even had a proper date by themselves. Or kissed again.

It was weird.

It was backwards.

He frowns as he passes the bookshop where there’s a poster for the new book by Haruki Murakami, no doubt about another tragically beautifully relationship that will have him turning the pages well into the dawn and wondering why his own life wasn’t as poetic or why he couldn’t write as well or why he just can’t be like everyone else.

Stop it Hanbin.

Stop it.

He wills himself to stop mourning about normalcy or wanting to join the conveyer belt of society-approved romantics when he knows that the thing he has with Jiwon is totally and utterly not normal.

He’s feeling better by the time he’s reached the familiar corner cafe. It welcomes him in with its comforting smell of sweet chocolate, happy yellow almond cakes, floral herbal teas and life-affirming coffee. Maybe that’s why everyone who works there looks like they’ve got a permanent IV drip to the fountain of youth and all the customers come in looking like fading zombies.

He waits for his order by the window, getting lost in watching life walk up and down the street; there was an old man trying to courier a giant painting on his bike, a teenage punk with about fifteen piercings on his face and a young couple trying to corral their three tiny children in line for ice-cream.

But inevitably, as with most of his thought processes lately, he ends up thinking about Jiwon and what he’d be doing at the garage right at that moment. It’s pervasive, just like his negative thoughts, but instead of drowning in anxiety, anything Jiwon-flavoured fills him with security and optimism. He’s trying to adjust but the change still constantly surprises him (in a good way). No matter how wild and convoluted his thoughts become or how far they stray off course, Jiwon is always there in his mind, like a lighthouse at sea or a magnet that drags him back to North.

On a whim, Hanbin takes his phone out of his pocket.

[hey, do you want to have dinner together tonight?]

He’s walking back to the office when he gets a reply.

[do we have to cook it?]

[no, hospitals dates aren’t fun]

[then yes, lol. sorry really swamped right now, call you later]

[ok bunny, xxh]

[xxj]

It’s 5:30pm and the sun is beginning to ride low in the sky, casting a golden-peach haze over the city. Jiwon is waiting across the street from his office but instead of walking towards the car, Hanbin feels like he’s walking straight into a John Hughes high school movie.

Jiwon is leaning casually against the driver’s side door, scrolling and smiling at something on his phone. He’s wearing that soft worn-in white t-shirt that Hanbin likes (and has put on his To Steal One Day list), the sleeves are rolled up high to reveal more of the smooth tanned skin of his arms, each ridge and muscle defined every time the sun hits at the right angle. His hair is getting longer now, falling and tickling his eyes until he looks up to shake it away.

It’s then that their eyes meet across the street.

And Hanbin feels 15 years old again. He’s taken back to the exact moment when he first locked eyes with the American exchange student who transferred to his school and awoke everything that had been lying dormant in his mind for 15 years. 

He swallows thickly and tries to calm down the intensity of his emotions but the way his stomach still drops, even after all this time, the way his smile is automatic in Jiwon’s presence, the way he can’t remember anything terrible for those few seconds, the way everything was so obvious, even if neither of them said it out loud….

This must be his Murakami moment.

Stop it, Hanbin.

Stop romanticising everything.

He’s just a person.

He’s just a person.

He’s honestly surprised he doesn’t get run over while trying to cross the road because did he even look both ways? He doesn’t remember. 

“Hey.” Jiwon’s smile is bright and toothy, it says absolutely everything about him.

“Hey.” He says, wondering frantically if they should hug or kiss or handshake or high five now.

“Good day at work?”

“Not really, I couldn’t write anything decent.” He sighs. 

“Oh that sucks.” Jiwon says as he pushes himself off the car and comes around to open the passenger’s side door. “What’s your topic this week?”

Hanbin just stares at the gesture as Jiwon walks away to open his own door. “Oh ummm, the the rise of mid-twenties CEOs and the growth of independent businesses.”

When they’re both buckled in, Jiwon wakes the Beast up with that brutal growl that always shoots straight to the primitive corner of Hanbin’s brain and gets his adrenaline going.

“Hey, why don’t you talk to June or Yoyo? They’ve got their own business and have a lot of friends like that. Might help you get some ideas?”

Hanbin pauses. Why didn’t he think of that?

“Why didn’t I think of that? Urgh, where were you eight hours ago?” He groans.

Jiwon gives him a proud smile that makes him look 10 years old. “Underneath the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Wait, what?” Hanbin’s eyes widen in surprise and his voice is annoyingly high-pitched.

“Someone dropped off a 1961 California Spyder at the garage today.” Comes the cheeky reply and Hanbin grumbles with fake irritation, reaching over to punch Jiwon on the arm, leaving the other cackling and pretending that it hurts.

“You’re a jerk.” He says, trying to keep the relief out of his voice but obviously failing because he knows when he’s been busted. “Anyway, have all the car affairs you want. I think I’m going to just call you next time I get writer’s block though.”

Jiwon shifts the BMW into reverse, arm coming to rest behind Hanbin’s seat as he backs out onto the street, the movement causing just the faintest ghost of that familiar woodsy cologne to float between them. “So am I your new personal consultant?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the pay like?”

“Terrible. Virtually zero dollars.”

“God, how cheap are you?!” Jiwon teases as they stop at a red light, he fiddles with the buttons to the sound system before settling on an old Drake song.“You couldn’t afford me anyway.”

“Oh really. What’s your going rate these days?”

“One million dollars,” Jiwon replies smugly before looking across with that arrogant smirk that Hanbin finds annoyingly attractive. “Or….like, 20 hugs.”

Hanbin gives him an amused scoff. “Only 20? Deal.”

“No, I changed my mind. I want 40.”

“Oh 40? Then, no. No deal.”

Jiwon laughs loudly. “Fine. I’ll just keep all these good ideas to myself.”

“You are such a loser. It’s all your fault for being so distracting when I’m trying to work.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! In case you forgot, you agreed to date me so really, who is the bigger loser here?” Jiwon says. “And besides, if you blame me for anything, you’re kinda half blaming yourself. That’s the way things work now.”

Hanbin opens his mouth but ends up saying nothing.

Jiwon looks over with a quirk of his eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m stealing that to use in a future article.” 

“Okay, I’ll put it on your tab. You owe me one million dollars and 40 hugs.”

“This is turning out to be a costly relationship.” He says with an exaggerated frown that really just wants to be a smile. 

"Yeah suck it up, buddy.” Jiwon laughs. “Anyways, since you’re so poor, I’ll get dinner tonight. What do you feel like?”

“Italian?”

“You want to go eat out or…” Jiwon trails off, an uncertain expression on his angular face.

“I don’t really want to sit in a restaurant.” Hanbin says, trying to be brave for once but looking out the window the entire time. “Can we just get take-out? We could come back and eat it at my apartment.”

“Oh.” Jiwon says, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

"Only if you want to.” He adds quickly, heart jumping right into his throat as he dares to flick his eyes up in curiosity. 

Jiwon is just smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah I do.” 

“Cool. I want pasta then.” He says in relief but still completely avoiding Jiwon’s eyes again out of embarrassment. “And something with bacon.”

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

It’s just one word but it still causes the butterflies in his stomach to crash into each other like a fleet of kamikaze bombers. He wonders when the thrill will wear off and hopes that the answer is: never.

After finding the Italian restaurant, they sit in the parking lot listening to the rest of the Drake album while waiting for their order. It’s exactly where Hanbin loves to be on a warm evening: in the passengers seat, watching Jiwon sit at the wheel, casually rapping along to old hip-hop and in the process, killing him very very slowly.

“You’re really good.” He says.

“At what? Like, in general?”

He rolls his eyes. “At rapping. You’re so good at it. Do you ever want to get back to it? Do it seriously?”

Jiwon scrunches up his face like Hanbin just reminded him of something painful. “Yeah but something always comes up, you know?”

Neglected dreams are something Hanbin knows all about.

“Yeah I do actually. I’ve been wanting to write my book for awhile but it’s never gone beyond a passing hobby. Work kinda gets in the way. Or life does.”

“You should just write it.” Jiwon replies simply.

“And you should just rap.” He shoots back.

Jiwon lets out a quiet sigh as he plays with the door handle. “I need practice. The other guys would kick my ass if I turned up to battles like this. I want to go back though. One day.”

“So why don’t you? You could probably kick all their asses.” 

Jiwon chuckles. “Have you even heard the other guys?”

Hanbin looks over shrugging. “Is that even relevant? It doesn’t make you any less good.”

"You rate me way too highly.” Jiwon says but even as the words come out he’s reaching across to run his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. “And you’re not exactly objective. Would you tell me if I was shit?”

“Of course I would! What do you take me for? Not like I’m blinded by-”

Oh no.

Shut up Hanbin.

He talked himself into a corner again.

Panic starts to set in but strangely enough, it doesn’t fully take hold because Jiwon doesn’t even tease or ask him about it, he just softly raps along to the music and continues playing with Hanbin’s hair until they get called in to pick up their order. 

The good thing about anxiety is that all it takes for you to stop worrying about one thing is to become so distracted with another until there’s just a neat orderly ranking system. He likes systems. The order calms his mind. He was so busy being stressed about saying the wrong thing in the car that he totally ran out of time to worry about Jiwon seeing his apartment.

“Okay, so, come in. It’s a bit messy.” He says nervously as he pushes his door open and hastily tidies the stack of unread catalogues by the entrance.

Jiwon wanders in gingerly, looking around and chuckling inwardly at the distinct lack of mess anywhere. “I was here two weeks ago. Remember?”

“You were only in my doorway. Don’t judge the rest of it.” He says as he toes off his Nikes and jams his feet into old Snoopy slippers. “The kitchen is through there.”

“I’m not gonna judge it!” Jiwon shouts as he pads into the kitchen, placing the plastic bag of food on the small wooden table before turning around to survey the neat space. “God. It looks like an accident happened in here. How can you even live like this!!?”

Hanbin knows it’s just teasing but he goes red anyway. “I bet your place is worse!” He fires back.

Jiwon shrugs and grins. “I don’t know, want to come over next week?”

“Next week?”

“Yeah I’m gonna need the entire week to clean it.” 

He kicks at Jiwon’s shin, the Snoopy slippers cushioning most of the blow and completely defeating the purpose. “Loser.”

“Stop being rude to your guest.” Jiwon scolds mockingly before pointing to the cupboards. “So where do you keep your plates and stuff?”

He gives a brief tour of his kitchen, from the over processed pantry to his collection of cartoon mugs, pointedly ignoring the sniggers when Jiwon finds all his new plates and cutlery still in their boxes. “Have many people over, Hanbin?”

“Only you and the Queen.” He snaps.

They sit and eat at his small dining table, talking about which one of them should learn to how to cook (both), which one is neater (definitely Hanbin), which one is better at fixing things (definitely Jiwon) and which one would be more likely to become a millionaire before the age of 30 (definitely neither).

It’s only when they’re standing at his sink to do the dishes that the occasion catches up with Hanbin.

Jiwon was in his apartment.

They just had dinner together.

He didn’t have an aneurysm from the stress.

What would Murakami write about this?

“Hanbin?”Jiwon is holding a wet dish out for him to dry. “In your head again?”

He takes the plate and nods. “I’m just thinking.”

“Anything you want to tell me about?”

“I was just thinking of the rap thing again. You’re so good Jiwon. It’d be such a waste if you didn’t just go for it. I’m sure you’re awesome at the garage because you’re good with your hands and I promise I’ll still like you no matter what you end up doing but honestly, you should really think about the rap thing again.” He doesn’t know why he always sounds so flighty and high-pitched when he rambles.

Jiwon gives him that one unreadable look that Hanbin had never been able to decipher. He has no idea what it means. It’s the one with the small smile, slight nod and slow blinks. What the hell does that one mean?

“I’ll think about it okay?”

“Yeah you should.”

“Hey, let’s make a pact.”

Hanbin gives him a condescending look. “Are you 12 years old? Are we at summer camp? Where are the friends-forever bracelets?”

Jiwon flicks water at him. “No listen, let’s both do it together. You start your book and I’ll do this rap thing. Give ourselves like a year? If it doesn’t go anywhere at least we can say we tried?”

“Seriously?” He asks skeptically.

“Seriously.” Jiwon nods and reaches over to dry his hands on the tea towel Hanbin is still holding. “That way we’ll both be annoying at the same time.”

“And stressed at the same time.”

“But maybe happy and successful at the same time?”

He shakes his head. “You haven’t thought this through. We’re going to need a plan. We should really make a plan. I have planning paper.” He says, trying to be helpful.

Jiwon takes the tea towel from his hands, throwing it on the bench before pulling at his shirt. “Come here.”

He has a fleeting thought about gravity before silencing his brain and sinking into Jiwon’s arms.

Oh.

Finally.

Their first proper hug.

He all but melts into it like gooey chocolate, savouring how reassuringly solid Jiwon’s body is underneath his soft cotton t-shirt and the slow sigh he lets out when Hanbin winds his arms around his back. Above all, he savours how truly safe and secure he feels in this completely ordinary and mundane moment. Jiwon was just comforting. Or comfortable. Or both. He was the mash-potato-warm-blanket-kind of comfortable and Hanbin doesn’t want to let go. 

“I love that you have planning paper.”

“Surprised?” He mumbles into Jiwon’s t-shirt.

He feels a kiss on the top of his head and fingers brushing through his hair. “No baby, I’m not.”

[morningmindsetpodcast-blog]

MM152 - What is Sapping your Strength | MM Book Study Pt. 10

Weeds and saplings take away the energy from healthy plants in nature. Do you have weeds in your life that are choking you? Are there saplings stealing away your strength?

If you like the show, please check out our Official Morning Mindset Merchandise!

Episode Transcription

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television, and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.

*Professor Paul*

Okay, here we go again. Welcome back to Morning Mindset and I am your host Paul Markel, and we are going to continue with the Morning Mindset book study. Yes indeed, and this one, today's chapter, if you hear the pages ruffling that's because I actually have a paper copy a dead tree version of the Morning Mindset book in my hand, and I hope that you have either the paperback version or the Kindle version and that you are following along.

-

If you don't have those, pop on over to Amazon and pick them up and you can follow along and take notes in the margin and all that good stuff. Okay, when I was young my mother planted a garden every spring, and we also when I was growing up we had fruit trees and we had grapevines. I remember we had a peach tree and we had apple trees and we had grapevines. We have the purple grapes and we had the white grapes, you know, the concord grapes and then whatever the other ones are. But when I was a little child in the springtime, my mom would plant the garden and then, you know after a week or two.

-

We'd go out there and we'd see little tiny green sprouts and my mom, when I was a small child, I don't know maybe 5-6-7 years old, something like that. She showed me, she took me out in the garden and she showed me the difference between the healthy plants, what was going to be corn or was going to be carrots or green beans or whatever, the difference between those and the weeds.

-

The weeds that weren't going to be valuable, the weeds that were just there taking up the energy, the soil, the water intake, and the nutrients that the healthy plants needed. So what she showed me was, we had to get in there in the garden and we had to figure out what was good, you know, what was going to be carrots or green beans or whatever and we had to leave those there.

-

But we had to pull out the weeds had to get rid of those weeds, because the weeds- and she explained to me if we leave the weeds in there, then the good plants, the healthy plants, the productive ones that we want to grow won't get enough nutrition from the soil and the weeds will steal away the water. They'll steal away the nutrients and we won't have good healthy vegetables or fruit or what have you.

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Now the saplings are, it's a little bit different. If you ever go into an apple orchard, if you've ever gone to an apple orchard and old one that's fallen into disarray. The apple trees, rather than looking like a healthy tree, what you would picture as a tree, almost look more like bushes. Because they have all these little sapling vines growing out of them. Pear trees do the same thing, apple trees and so forth, and a good Gardener will go into the Orchard and they will prune away the saplings.

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The little tiny, you know twigs that are sticking out of the branch, because why? Well in order to transfer all of the energy, or in order for the plants energy to go to fruit production, you've got to get rid of all those other distractions. See the saplings that are coming out of the trees, they take away the energy from the tree, and they steal its strength. They stop it from being able to produce healthy fruit. If you just let it go, if you don't trim the vines, if you don't trim your grape vines, if you don't prune your trees, what will happen is all the energy will go to unproductive saplings instead of to making good fruit apples and pears and all that stuff.

-

So I learned, you know, when I was young that yeah, even though it looks like these are healthy branches coming out of these fruit trees, we have to look and decide which branches are actually going to produce fruit and which ones aren't and the ones that aren't, we need to cut them off and get rid of them.

-

Because they're just stealing the energy away from the healthy tree. You say “That's great Paul, but I don't have a garden and I don't have an orchard. So why do I care?” Well, I'm telling you why you should care, because in your life, chances are really high that you have one or both of those situations you either have weeds in your life.

-

Weeds that are stealing away the nutrients, they're stealing away your energy, they're preventing you from growing and leading a strong healthy productive life. Now these weeds may be bad habits, you may have developed several bad habits over a course of a lifetime, and you realize that you're like, “You know, I could be doing better at work. My family life could be much better, but it's not because I have these things in my life. I have these bad habits that are essentially weeds and these weeds are choking out my ability to be healthy and productive.”

-

Now, maybe the weeds aren't habits. Maybe the weeds are people there could be people in your life that are acting as weeds. There's choking away your productive strength, every time you want to do something productive or good or positive in your life, you have these acquaintances. Maybe you call them friends, but they're actually weeds and they're stealing away your ability, they're choking you out, they’re keeping you down, they’re keeping you from realizing your full potential, because weeds are not productive plants.

-

Weeds are unproductive plants. The only thing weeds are good for is maybe, you know the cattle to chew on them and then they turn into manure, that's it. Weeds don't provide a service, weeds are not productive and the weeds don't want the plants to grow. The weeds steal away the energy from the healthy plants. Maybe you have people in your life.

-

Maybe you need to have an honest self-assessment and you can realize “You know, some of these people that I call friends, instead of helping me to grow and prosper are doing the exact opposite. They're holding me back.” Now saplings are very similar, saplings appear to be productive because they grow on a healthy plant.

-

They grow in a healthy tree, but the saplings steal away the energy and the strength from the healthy tree and saplings to you could be distractions. Maybe they're not necessarily bad habits, maybe they're not necessarily negative people or bad people or you know, weeds. But the sapling you have so many things, maybe you're torn in so many different directions, you have so many projects going that you can't focus your time and energy on one specific task.

-

You're never able to complete one task exceedingly, well because you have all of your energy going in different directions. If you find yourself in a position where you feel like, honestly self-assessment, that you should be doing better that you should be moving forward that you should be improving, but you're not.

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Maybe you're feeling a little bit frustrated, you're like, you know, “I know that I should be promoted by now at work. I know that I should be making more money. I know that I should be out of debt. I know this but I'm not.” Maybe you need to take a just a little bit of time to think about what's going on in your life, and maybe you have a bunch of saplings a bunch of things that are stealing away your productive energy.

-

It could be time to trim the tree, it could be time for a little bit of pruning in your life. You need to get rid of these non-productive saplings these non-productive distractions, and once you get rid of those, you can focus all of your time and your energy on positive Pursuits on things that will make you stronger and more healthy and improve your relationships and your career goals and so forth.

-

So today's episode of what is sapping your strength. You need to take some time to examine your life and figure out if you have weeds that are choking you out or if you have saplings that are stealing your energy pull those weeds. I know it's you got it, you know you got to get your hands dirty pulling weeds is not easy.

-

You gotta get down on the ground, you got to get your knees dirty, you got to get your hands dirty, you've got to actually do it and saplings the same thing. You got to go out there, you have to figure out which things are productive, which branches of your life are productive, and which ones are just stealing away your energy and get rid of the ones that are stealing away your energy.

-

I hope that you guys are enjoying the book study. We're not even halfway through yet, and we'll be back tomorrow with another one. I am your host Paul Markel and I'll talk to you again, real soon.

[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.

Download this Episode!

[bizmediaweb]

245: Why Shiny Object Syndrome Is Sometimes a Good Thing

Why Shiny Object Syndrome Can Be Good for Your Blog and Business

Do you suffer from Shiny Object Syndrome? Are you easily distracted by something new – a tool, medium, tactic, or income stream?

Whatever it is, it captivates and distracts you in the moment. And it can easily take over your day, week, or even month.

Shiny Object Syndrome has the power to take you away from your core business, which can be destructive.

But it can be a good thing, too.

JR Caparas asked me how to avoid Shiny Object Syndrome in blogging. My answer? Don’t avoid it. Just make sure you put boundaries around it. Sometimes shiny objects can give you energy, spark new ideas, and help you discover new ways to engage your audience. So rather than avoiding shiny objects, make time for them. But don’t let them hijack your business, your time and your life.

You need to spend most of your time focusing on what’s most important, what keeps your blog growing, what’s already working, and what’s proven to work.

But put some time aside to play, experiment, learn, and be curious. And look for what makes sparks fly and gives you energy when you play with that shiny object.

Put shiny objects in their place.

Quote of the Week: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Washington Thurman, author, philosopher, theologian, educator, and civil rights leader.

Links and Resources for Why Shiny Object Syndrome is Sometimes a Good Thing

Success Incubator

Further Listening

3 Productivity Tips to Help You Build Healthy Habits

7 Productivity Tips for Bloggers

Examples of Why Shiny Object Syndrome is Sometimes a Good Thing

The ProBlogger podcast started out as a shiny object.

Courses

Starting a Blog

ProBlogger Pro – 31 Days to Build a Better Blog

Join our Facebook group

Full Transcript Expand to view full transcript Compress to smaller transcript view

Hey there and welcome to episode 245 of the ProBlogger Podcast. My name is Darren Rowse and I’m the blogger behind problogger.com, a blog, podcast event, job board, series of ebooks, and courses all designed to help you to start an amazing blog, to grow that blog, to monetize that blog and hopefully have a good time while you’re doing it. You can learn more about ProBlogger at problogger.com.

Now, today’s podcast is all about something that I know many of us struggle with in this space, it is shiny object syndrome, that time when you’re working away and suddenly you find yourself doing something completely different to what you had set down to do. You’re being distracted by something; it could be a game on your phone, but it also could be something that is good, a new tool, a medium, a new tactic, a new income string.

Whatever it is, it captivates you in that moment, it looms large, it can distract you right where you’re sitting not only for that moment, but it can end up distracting you if you’re anything like me, for a day, for a week, for a month, or for the rest of the year. It has the power to take you away from your core business and to be really distracted, but, and this is what I want to talk about today, I think it can actually be a good thing too. There’s some positives when it comes to shiny object syndrome. I want to explore that a little bit in today’s show. It will be a short one, but I want to put to you that shiny object syndrome is actually something you can—maybe you should plan for, maybe you should actually build into your week.

Hang with me though, before I get into that, I want to just let you know that this episode is brought to you by this year’s Success Incubator event which I’m running with some good friends this coming September on the 24th and 25th in Orlando, Florida. If you are in the U.S. or you feel like a troop out to the U.S., you could actually tackle this onto another conference that’s happening in the days after theme con, this year, we are doing it again.

This is the second time we’ve done Success Incubator. It is a mastermind style event, you get about half the time teaching, and half the time interacting with other people in an intentional way, talking about your business, your blog, and helping each other to improve what you want to build. If that sounds interesting to you, I highly recommend that you grab a ticket sooner than later because we are limiting the numbers this year quite a bit. problogger.com/success will take you there and give you all the details of that event.

The last thing I want to say is that I’m going to do something a little bit new at the end of today’s podcast. I want to share with you a quote of the week and I was just thinking maybe I’ll do this for a few weeks and see what you think about it. I love quotes, I spend a lot of my time being distracted by quotes which is a little bit ironic because that’s what I’m talking about today. I do want to share a quote with you today that I think relates to blogging—not all of the quotes that I share will relate to blogging but hopefully it’s just a moment in this podcast that will give you a little bit of encouragement as you go about your business. So stay tuned to the end and I will share that quote with you. Lastly, problogger.com/podcast/245 is where you’ll find today’s show notes and a full transcript of the show. Let’s get into it.

Okay, today’s topic was suggested by one of our Facebook group members, JR Caparas I think it is, thank you for your question. “How do you focus and avoid shiny object syndrome in blogging?” JR asks, and then it goes on to talking about the topics, niches, blogging, books, courses, blogging tasks, possible sources of income as examples of those shiny objects. Here’s what I want to say to you, JR, I actually think that shiny object syndrome can be a good thing, and I would encourage you not to avoid it but to put it in its place.

Those of you who have been listening for a while know that I’m a big believer in putting boundaries around what we do, all of the things that we do, to actually put things in their place. Here’s the argument that I want to make for shiny object syndrome, is that sometimes, the shiny objects can actually give us energy, they can spark new ideas, they can help us discover new ways of engaging with our audience and they can actually help us to find white space in our minds and are able to rest a little bit.

The distractions can actually be good things in a variety of ways for us personally, but also for our business and for our blogs. I’ve discovered this many times over the years, that it is sometimes in the distractions that I get my next good idea. Sometimes, it is listening to a podcast that has got nothing to do with blogging that I actually get the best idea for blogging. Sometimes, it is in playing with a new social network that’s just emerging, a shiny object that really isn’t benefiting my blog in the present. Sometimes, I get ideas from that, sometimes I discover something that I can then translate into my business.

What I want to encourage you to do is to think about not avoiding it, not eliminating it, but to actually make time for it and put boundaries around that. The key is not to allow your business, your time, your life to be hijacked by the shiny object.

The problem I see—and I’m sure this is what JR is alluding to—is that many times we get completely sidetracked by the shiny objects, by the new medium, by that new tool, by that new platform, all the topics, all the techniques, all the gears, all the conferences, all the books, all the courses, all the income strength. Sometimes these things actually completely sidetrack us and stop our core business and activities that we need to do to build our blog.

What I want to encourage you to do is to think about your time and your schedule and actually schedule your week out as much as possible. This is something I’ve talked about, I think it was back in episode 40, for the first time and then more recently in episode 163. In both of those episodes, I showed you my weekly template.

This is something I designed for my week. I actually got a calendar—a Google calendar—and I blocked out time for different activities. A lot of those activities were to do with my core business. A lot of them went to creating new content, brainstorming ideas, connecting with my team, doing administrative tasks like replying to emails, moderating comments, interacting in my Facebook group, these are the things that I know are so important. If you’re going to look at my template, you’ll see that probably 95% of my time, maybe 90% of my time, is on these core things that I know I need to do to build my business. That’s particularly between 9:00 and 5:00. But you will also sit down Monday afternoons if you’re going to look at episodes 163. You’ll see on Monday afternoons, I have time for play and that is a time where I have scheduled shiny objects.

That is a time I do not plan what I’m going to do, I simply sit down on a Monday afternoon and I say, what do I want to do now? What have I been putting off this week to play with? What am I curious about? What new tool? Sometimes it’s a tool, sometimes it’s a book that I’ve had sitting next to my bed, sometimes I go and curl up in my bed and have a read. Sometimes it’s an episode on Netflix that I’ve been thinking about, sometimes it’s a podcast, sometimes it’s exercise, sometimes it’s playing with my kids, sometimes it’s a new app on my phone or a game that I want to play with. These shiny objects, I actually acknowledge them and I set aside time to do them and to pay attention to them.

Sometimes, it’s a very productive time and sometimes it’s a completely unproductive time but I’ve put shiny objects in their place. What I’ve discovered is that I actually begin to look forward to Monday afternoons, it’s a time that I relax, it’s a time that I enjoy, a time that I see almost as a reward for the hard work of the rest of my schedule. Put aside best of time for shiny objects.

Now, you might choose to do that on a Monday afternoon, once a week, or you may choose to do that every afternoon at 3:30 just before your kids get home from school or after you’ve written a blog post, you may give yourself a boost of 15 minutes and you may want to schedule it in that way. Put aside time for it, and what you might find is that it will give you energy, it will spark new ideas, it will help you to discover new techniques in what you’re going to do. Some of it will actually then become not just a shiny object but it can actually become the thing that you do, your next big thing in some way. This is again something that I’ve talked about before that your next big thing sometimes will start as a little spark of an idea or something that you experiment with.

I can think about many times where this has happened for me. This podcast really started as a shiny object for me. This podcast was something that I had felt that I wanted to do, something that was making me curious, it was something that I’ve been wondering about for many years and I decided to do. But, I decided to do it with boundaries around it.

I actually started this podcast for a month. I said to myself I’m going to do a month of content. I’m going to do this first series of this podcast. A part of me there was really limiting myself to just that one month because I didn’t want to become distracted for all time by it, I wanted to see whether ego meet energies and whether it was something that I enjoyed, but I also wanted to watch to see what happened as I follow that spark of curiosity.

What I found is that the podcast did give me energy. It was actually something that I enjoyed incredibly but I also realized that in doing it, experimenting with it, was that other people were getting energy with it too.

This is the second thing that I encourage you to do as you think about these times where you allow yourself to be distracted, where you allow yourself to be following your curiosities is to pay attention to whether those things give you energy but also as you experiment particularly with the things and to do with your blog, watch to see what happens as a result of those things.

If the podcast had given me incredible amounts of energy but no one ever listened to it, I would probably have to ask some tough questions about that. Is this something that is going to bring life to my business in the long-term if no one is listening to it? You want to be finding things that allow you to feel like you’ve come alive, but also things that give other people energy as well. That’s my advice for you, JR, yes, you want to limit your shiny object syndrome but actually find a place for it. Find a place for that because you may just find that in those moments where you follow those curiosities, that new things will emerge from those.

I would love to hear your reflections on this podcast and I would particularly love to hear those moments where you have found the shiny object that has distracted you in a good way that has led to something powerful. After they hear people talking about productivity, eliminate distractions. I would love to hear some examples of people who have been distracted by something but have actually found some goodness in those distractions as well. You can let us know what those things are either on the comments of the show notes today at problogger.com/podcast/245, or head on over to our Facebook group, just search for ProBlogger Community on Facebook.

Now onto my quote of the day, and it just so happens I didn’t actually plan it this way but as I’m thinking about the quote that I have selected for today, it actually connects with the topic of today, it was meant to be, I might say. The quote is from a man called Howard Washington Thurman who is an author, philosopher, theologian, educator, civil rights leader—I just read that off Wikipedia. I don’t really know a lot about him, but I love this quote, it’s one that has resonated with me for years now and it came back to my attention today as I was listening to a podcast.

This is what he wrote or spoke, “Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do it because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” I think this does resonate with today’s show. You do sometimes need to be mindful of the things that make you come alive. Sometimes those things start as shiny objects, things that might even be distracting you and if you don’t allow yourself to follow those curiosities, you might not actually discover what it is that is alive within you.

Let me just read that again, “Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do it because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” I guess the last thing I’ll say about this is that it does particularly right to those of you who at the beginning of your journey of blogging have maybe been wondering what should I blog about?

Choosing a niche, I do think it’s important to pay attention to what brings you alive, what gives you energy because you are going to be at this for a long time and you might as well enjoy what you’re doing, you might as well feel alive by what you are doing, but the value of it is that if you come alive with your topic, your readers, the listeners of your podcast, the viewers of your video are going to feel that you are alive with your topic and that’s going to resonate with him on a deeper level, and it’s going to make them feel more alive as well.

What the world needs is people who are alive, and particularly in the times that we live in today, we do live in a time where it’s very easy to feel like it’s a dark time but what the world actually needs is people who will brush on a little light and they do that by being excited or passionate about what they’re on about.

Thanks for listening. I would love to hear any quotes that you’ve got that bring you a bit of life again. Feel free to share them in today’s show notes or over in our Facebook group as well. I might just feature a couple of yours in the future as well.

Thanks for listening, I hope that you have a great week of being a little bit distracted at times, but also paying attention to 90% of that time to your core tasks as well. Don’t go too far with the shiny objects. Thanks for listening, chat with you next week.

How did you go with today’s episode?

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The post 245: Why Shiny Object Syndrome Is Sometimes a Good Thing appeared first on ProBlogger.

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  245: Why Shiny Object Syndrome Is Sometimes a Good Thing published first on https://themarketingheaven.tumblr.com/

[disc-golf]

If You Don’t Start These 10 Habits, You Won’t Be Successful

Twenty years ago, I was a college frat boy who wanted more out of life.

Sick and tired of wasting my Saturdays hungover and unproductive, I started reading biographies of successful people.

Slowly, the pathway to success revealed itself. Over the course of 20 years, I realized that building wealth, improving my health, and having deep relationships with family and friends was not about creating brand-new success systems. It was about using systems that had been around for millennia.

The secret was knowing where to find them and how to use them to create daily habits that pushed me constantly toward my biggest goals.

I’m going to spare you the same 20-year journey and give you the top 10 habits I’ve learned. Right now.

These are the same habits that made it possible for me to build multiple businesses worth millions of dollars, and they’re the same habits that now allow me to coach people like you to reach your dream destination in life.

Without further ado, my 10 habits of high-performance success:

1. Spend Time in Thoughtful Introspection

There are three primary ways to get this kind of perspective. The first comes from a coach or mentor. Have them walk you through your life as they see it, framing your vision and definition of success in the context of your daily life. That will help you isolate the obstacles that are slowing you down.

The second way is through friends and family. These are the people who know you well and care about you. They WANT to see you succeed, so they WANT to help you find the surest path to success. If they’re honest and upfront—as anyone who cares about you should be—then they will be able to show you both your strengths and weaknesses.

Lastly, it’s important to look at yourself from the outside in. You can do that by walking through the exercises in the Perfect Life Retreat Videos, or filling out my 90-day planner. In either case, you’ll be able to see yourself with a measure of objectivity and focus that you just didn’t have before.

2. Clear Your Head Clutter

For many people, the obstacles to success are not external—they’re internal. So clear out the junk that’s cluttering your mind. Share your questions, worries, doubts, and fears with trusted friends. Don’t be isolated. If you need help, ask for it. There’s no shame in it—in fact, it’s one of the bravest things you can do.

3. Get Complete Clarity on What Matters to YOU

This ties in with your vision, of course. Make sure that whatever you’re doing in life really matters—that you’re the master of your own direction. Sure, family will try to talk you into this or that, friends will counsel you to take certain actions, and, of course, business associates will push for you make specific decisions. But nobody can stand in your shoes with the full knowledge of your own needs, dreams, and ambitions.

Make sure you go through the Perfect Life Vision Exercise to help you define this clearly.

4. Build Automatic Discipline Through Accountability

Back when I was running my fitness business, I used to run a weight loss transformation contest. It was pretty simple: Customers of Turbulence Training (TT) were encouraged to post pictures of themselves before and after using my workouts. If they hit their fitness goals with TT, they would get a cash prize.

But you know what was even more incentivizing than cash? Public accountability. The moment these TT followers put up their “before” pictures and publicly announced their intentions to hit a specific fitness goal, they were instantly accountable to everyone. The whole fitness world could call them out for slipping or not following through.

That kind of public accountability created automatic discipline. And, no surprise, I ended up giving away $150,000 in prizes to people who nailed their fitness goals. It was amazing, and proved that public accountability is key to follow-through.

5. Lean in to Rejection and Weakness

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t fear rejection. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a sales call gone wrong or a relationship that goes sour. We all hate rejection.

But rejection is how we learn. Failure is what teaches the lessons we need to make us better, stronger, more high-performing people. Weakness is our path to strength.

So lean in to rejection and weakness. Don’t frame an experience by the possible negative outcomes. Instead, see it entirely in a positive light. If you succeed on a sales call, then remind yourself of the discipline, tools, and techniques you used to be successful. If you fail, examine the call objectively. What could have gone better? What did you learn?

I’ve got a powerful of example of this in action. I have a friend named Sean Stephenson who’s an amazing speaker. He’s got YouTube videos that have been watched millions of times! No joke, this guy is incredible.

But his life isn’t perfect. He has a disease (osteogensis imperfecta) that makes his bones incredibly brittle. In fact, he’s broken his bones over 280 times. Plus, he’s only three feet tall and uses a wheelchair.

But that hasn’t stopped him from becoming one of the world’s most inspiring speakers.

In fact, he taught me the value of doing one positive thing every day that scares you. I’ve committed, and while I sometimes fail, I always get back up and try again. Why? Because the lessons, relationships, and wisdom I have gained have been invaluable.

Sean taught me to lean in to weakness. Do the same, and you’ll experience incredible personal and professional growth.

6. Master Self, Environment, and Time

Most people think high-performance habits are all the same. You know, get up at 6 a.m., drink 2 liters of water first thing in the morning, do yoga for 30 minutes, meditate for another 30 minutes, and so on.

These are, indeed, examples of self-mastery, but the specifics hinge on the individual. Mastering yourself—including your triggers, your creative sparks, and your motivational switches—means identifying the goals that will make YOU successful. That’s what the Perfect Life Vision Exercise is all about.

Once you know these things you can master your environment and time to serve your biggest goals. If you want to get up earlier—and ensure you don’t go back to sleep—put your alarm across the room so you have to get up to turn it off. If you want to do morning yoga, set your mat and yoga clothes on the floor next to you so they’re the first things you see when you wake up. And if you want to make sure all of your time is used wisely, then do a brain dump of all of your to-dos at night so when you wake up, a task list is ready for you.

Remember: High performers don’t leave things to chance or other people. They control themselves, their environments, and their time.

7. Do Deep Work Daily

I’ve preached this for a while, but it really is at the heart of forward progress in your life. Take 15 minutes (at least) and do deep work on your number-one goal each and every day. Everybody has 15 minutes to spare—and yes, that might expand to 30 minutes some days. But you’ll very soon see the value in that time when you witness the results unfold in mere weeks and months.

So turn off your cell phone, the computer, the TV. Remove all of your distractions and do the deep work.

If you don’t, you’ll never move forward.

8. Commit to Kaizen

Literarily translated from Japanese as “improvement,” Kaizen is a commitment to constant self-betterment. Bedros Keuilian, my friend and mentor, is a master of kaizen living. As he puts it, kaizen is the “constant and never-ending improvement of oneself until the very last breath.”

In other words, you can get better every single day. It doesn’t matter who you are, what your dreams may be, or what obstacles are blocking your path. You can make your relationships better, your productivity better, your time management better, your skills better—there’s nothing that you can’t improve. Just commit to kaizen and watch it work.

9. Say NO to Almost Everything

This quote from Warren Buffett is dead on, and I absolutely love it: “The difference between successful people and VERY successful people is that very successful people say ’no’ to almost everything.”

Now, we’ve all seen Buffett as a talking head on TV—a lot. It may seem that’s all he does, but no. He actually spends 90% of his time sitting at a desk reading financial analyses. That’s why he’s become the greatest investor in the world—because he turned down pundit gigs and speaking engagements so he could become better at his job. He just said “no.”

You need to do the same thing. You have to say “no” to clients who ask for an hour and 15 minutes when their contract only allows for an hour; you have to say “no” to writing emails that don’t move the needle in your work; you have to say “no” to networking events that don’t connect with you people who will add value to your life or your business; and you have to say “no” to people who play on your kindness for their own benefit.

Remember your priorities. If you’re committing to things that take your focus and attention away from them, then learn to say “no.”

10. Get Accountability from Someone You Do Not Want to Disappoint

I mentioned accountability in #4, but this step takes it a bit further.

For me, this accountability comes from my mentor and friend Bedros, as well as my business partner Matt Smith and my friends Joel Marion and Jason Ferruggia.

Years ago, I used to be a jerk—really rude to people for no reason. But every time I acted that way, these guys would give me a look—and it changed me. It was their way of holding me accountable for my actions and pushing me to level up.

I’m still rude sometimes, but I’m so much better today than I was five years ago—all because I don’t want to disappoint the guys I looked up to.

So find that person in your own life that you never want to disappoint. Ask them to hold you accountable to your goals, to becoming a better person. You life will change in short order because of it.

#

You might be saying to yourself, “Craig, these habits are obvious.” But high performers—the ones you know in your own life who have achieved tremendous success—don’t shake their heads at these habits, assuming they’re common sense. They take them seriously and commit to action steps so they live each one daily.

If you want to achieve the same kind of success, start taking these habits seriously. Not tomorrow, not when it’s convenient. Today.

Build a routine to cement your new habits with this guide…

Sign up now to get our FREE Morning Routine guide—the #1 way to increase productivity, energy, and focus for profitable days. Used by thousands of fitness, business, and finance industry leaders to leapfrog the competition while making time for the people who really matter. Learn more here.

The post If You Don’t Start These 10 Habits, You Won’t Be Successful appeared first on Early To Rise.

[udemy-gift-coupon-blog]

Meditation for Beginners: How to Meditate Deeply & Quickly ##Coursera ##UdemyReview #Beginners #Deeply #Meditate #Meditation #Quickly Meditation for Beginners: How to Meditate Deeply & Quickly Meditation should be a practice that anyone can benefit from. Unfortunately, there is a lot of confusion and complication around this simple practice. This course will make it clear, simple and easy for you to meditate. Meditation techniques are often taught in a very rigid way.  These leads people to believe that the only way to meditation is through a Buddhist meditation practice, zen or somatic meditation. This course will teach you simple, effective meditation practices that transcend a specific discipline, giving you a clear way to understand and utilize any meditation practice you come across. This is currently a Best-Selling Meditation Course on Udemy! What people are saying... "I found this course very helpful. The explanations are very clear. The instructor really cares about the students. He talks with a passion and provides a good deal of motivation. In the past I tried to start meditation many times, but could not practice consistently. For some reason this course did it for me. There is no "beating around the bush". All explanations are strictly to the point. I am thankful to Ken for creating this course." -Anna Plotkin "Wonderful course! It really is amazing the benefits that you experience as a result of meditating. I'm an atheist/non religious person and of all of the groups of people on the planet, I would say that I belong to one of the most critical and skeptical bunch. I used to think meditation was a sort of mystical thing - a nonscientific structure. And I couldn't have been more wrong. Ken Wells is able to wonderfully translate meditation out of the mystical world and show how to apply it in a "tangible" - if you will, sort of way. I no longer take ambien, Xanax, nor my antidepressants. Now keep in mind, it was not meditation alone that brought about these results but it is certainly a powerful tool. A way to observe one's thoughts, without being consumed by them, brings about peace of mind. This peace of mind enables one to clearly see what changes need to be made in your life to bring yourself into alignment with your purpose, which leads to self-actualization and happiness. I highly recommend this introductory course. Ken will build you an unbreakable foundation for which to build your understanding of this wonderful practice." -Brandon Burkhardt "Everyone knows the amazing benefits of meditating, this course is the absolute best guide to start your meditation habit." -John Camboli "Excellent course! The information in the course is great. I was looking for some time now on a meditation course and I got exactly what I wanted :D" -Mirela Voinescu "How to Relax Your Body and Mind - Quickly & Easily! I took this class with impatience and all my expectations were fulfilled. The course is very well organized, the lectures are clear, the explanations are easy to follow and you will put all the advice into action in no time. There are so many tips shared inside this program that you will not believe how easy it is to take action. You will learn the exact techniques to use while meditating to be at peace with yourself and relaxed ... and it takes just 10 minutes per day.  So, Jump In!." -Silviu Marisca "Great course Interesting lectures, knowledgeable instructor, good pace. I recommend this course for those who want to break myths about meditation and start to practice meditation now. Don't waste any more time, this is the course for you!" -Luciane Cardassi "This is no idle or self serving compliment; I have been exposed to many seminars, classes, etc. and although each had something to offer, Ken Wells, presents the material in an easy to follow format. Ken is presenting the core of meditation, which he explains can be developed in any direction we choose to go with it. I recommend this class to anyone wishing to learn meditation. I recommend it based on Ken's easy going, but detailed explanatory method of teaching." -Rick Mars Are you looking for how to relax quickly by using natural relaxation techniques? Are you interested in dealing with anxiety without the use of drugs? Do you want to learn how to reduce stress? Meditation is the single best thing you can do for your mental, emotional & physical health. When you watch the video above, you will understand why it's important to learn to meditate. Not only for relieving stress and feeling better, but also for improving your physical health! This is a Complete Meditation for Beginners Course that will teach you exactly how to meditate properly so you can relieve anxiety & stress and experience more peace, relaxation and better health.  All with a small time investment, starting with as little as 1-5 minutes per day and gradually building to about 20-30 minutes per day. This course will walk you through specifically why, how, when, where and exactly what you need to do to master meditation.  It explains exactly how meditation works and how to practice meditation in your everyday life, giving you the ability to relax at will. There are also Advanced Meditation Techniques that will help you to greatly improve concentration and increase self-discipline. What You Will Learn: How to Establish the Correct Mindset for Meditation How to Calm Your Mind Through This Easy Practice How to Clear the Obstacles to Meditation: Eliminating the 7 Most Common Myths How to Prepare for Effective Meditation How to Overcome All the Common Distractions and Obstacles to Meditation How to Meditate Effectively by Understanding & Applying the Key Attitudes of Meditation for Deeper Practice How to Practice Meditation in Your Everyday Life for Greater Peace & Daily Relaxation How to Meditate for Beginners How to Deal with Anxiety in Meditation & Day to Day How to Correctly Develop a Consistent Meditation Practice How to Practice Meditation the Easy Way How to Practice the 4 Main Types of Meditation How to Sharpen Your Concentration for Greater Mental Clarity & Focus How to Establish Trust for Better Meditation & Greater Peace of Mind Mindfulness Meditation Techniques for Daily Relaxation & Greater Self-Awareness Guided Meditation: "Your Journey to Peace & Stillness" Guided Meditation: "Opening Your Heart and Learning Unconditional Self-Love" Why You Should Take This Course: Greater Peace & Relaxation Increased Clarity of Mind Better Mental, Emotional & Physical Health More Mental Discipline Increased Concentration & Focus Enhanced Creativity Decreased Stress Increased Productivity More Self Confidence Greater Self-Awareness Greater Spiritual Awareness Reduced Stress & Anxiety More Happiness Make Less Mistakes at Work and in Your Social Life Increased Mental Strength & Mental Toughness Greater Intuition Better Organizational Skills Faster cognitive functioning Some of the Questions answered in this course: Is it really worth it to learn to meditate?  What can you attain by meditation? Why is it so hard to meditate? What is meditation? What does meditation do? Does meditation work? What are some best practices for meditation? How effective is meditation? How do I start a meditation habit? What are the benefits of meditation? How do I meditate? Does meditation help in dealing with anxiety? What happens in the brain during meditation? Do you need to silence your mind to meditate? How can I learn to live in the present? Does meditation actually help to relieve stress? What are some relaxation techniques for anxiety? What is the difference between thinking and meditating? What are some proper meditation techniques? Can children meditate? Are the benefits of meditation proven scientifically? Does it take years to receive benefits from meditation? Do you need a teacher to learn meditation? Is meditation a religion? Is meditation unproductive? When is the best time of day to meditate? Am I doing this right? Should I meditate with my eyes open or closed? How do I know that I'm really meditating? Is meditation different from hypnosis? How long should my meditation sessions last? Do I need to use a Mantra to meditate? What Should I Do Now? Give the course a chance to help you relieve stress and live more peacefully by enrolling today.  Meditation can truly change your life, it did mine.  I'm looking forward to seeing you on the inside when you choose to enroll. Who this course is for: Beginner & Intermediate Meditators Someone Looking for Natural Relief from Stress & Anxiety Someone Who Has Tried Meditation but Found It Difficult in the Past Someone Looking for Greater Self-Awareness or on a Journey of Self-Discovery Someone on a Spiritual Journey This Course Is NOT Meant for Advanced Practitioners Who Already Have a Consistent, Established Meditation Practice 👉 Activate Udemy Coupon 👈 Free Tutorials Udemy Review Real Discount Udemy Free Courses Udemy Coupon Udemy Francais Coupon Udemy gratuit Coursera and Edx ELearningFree Course Free Online Training Udemy Udemy Free Coupons Udemy Free Discount Coupons Udemy Online Course Udemy Online Training 100% FREE Udemy Discount Coupons https://www.couponudemy.com/blog/meditation-for-beginners-how-to-meditate-deeply-quickly/