#today is the day that i cannot stfu apparently

[ceilidho]

Sorry to dump this here, but no one in my immediate and/or accessible circle reads as much as I do and this conversation came up at the right time.

I don't read a lot of romance and I started reading some popular ones last year to ease my way into it. I feel like such a snob to say this, but the plot and writing are never fully fleshed out nor are the characters. None of the romantic actions I see people swoon over are ever explained well enough for me to understand the hype. A scene in which there should be an emotional inner monologue is shorted to a paragraph and if the character is toxic (I understand a lot of people enjoy toxic/dark men, but romance books never write them well enough) and destroys the other character's life/says a relationship-ending lie/any other cliche, there is never enough explanation, justification, groveling, or any thought process behind the reconciliation.

It's always just one half-written and half-baked trope after the other.

Again, apologies for dumping it here, but I think there are such damning consequences for women (the main demographic of romance readers) who read things like this and don't give constructive criticism or thought when facing these problems.

no but you're 100% right. i mean, this is one annoying bitch's opinion (mine LMAO) but trad publishing is in the absolute pits right now. that's not to say that there aren't still some good books coming out because of course, every now and then you're going to get a gem. but i think the environment has become outwardly hostile to good writing.

i mean, i know this has been discussed a ton, but the "fast fashionization" of books has become a huge problem. every time there's a new microtrend or whatever, every author rushes to push out a book to meet the demand (see: the hockey romance trend). this, obviously, means that the editing time is severely compressed and you get books published by like harper collins and penguin with typos, grammar issues, and more.

i got some flack for this when i posted about it on twitter ahah but i honestly do not understand why the sequel to "fourth wing" came out so soon (not even getting into the messy qualities of the first book). sequels used to take a year or more to come out to allow for the book to go through several rounds of editing and fine tuning! what happened??!!

i think authors now feel compelled to get their books out as soon as possible out of fear that booktok/readers will simply move on after the initial hype and they'll lose their reader base. there's like an anxiety about being left behind in the current publishing world.

this is kind of in line with what i was talking about the other day with Bo actually - writing romance and smut is actually way harder than people think. you can't just use the same 5 recycled porn dialogue lines and call it a day. you have to care a little about the story you're trying to tell, not just churning it out to make a buck or to make people pay attention to you. i'm not saying belabour every single action and decision made by your main character or go crazy on description (i still think the sweet spot for a published book is between 250-300 pages, and maybe more if you're writing a genre specific book that involves a lot of worldbuilding), but as a writer you need to want to be writing that book in the first place.

no one who's legitimately excited about what they're writing is going to resort to cliches and overused tropes - they might lean on tropes they like, but there's inevitably going to be something original and exciting there.

also my lil controversial opinion about the state of trad publishing lately is that i think it's 100% influenced by this weird pervasive strain of purity culture that's on booktok where people feel like any enjoyment they get from reading a particular thing has a direct reflection on them as a person and their values. rather than it just being a book.

(by the way i actually completely agree with you that even dark romances are as bad as everything else we've been talking about - that's another conversation lol. i also kind of agree with the idea of more romance books coming with content warnings on the front page - this hasn't really caught on yet except with some dark romance authors but i think it's a really good idea)

i don't think there's anything wrong about people getting excited about books on tiktok and instagram and youtube btw. i think it's a fun way to share recommendations, commentary, and interests. what i think is the big problem is that the publishing industry has almost become beholden to trends and online perception because they've seen how much profit they can generate by catering to it, and i think that's why books now just feel bland and soulless. they're tapping into a FOMO on both the authors' and writers' side, of either being left behind and not being able to make a living, or missing out on what everyone else is reading and talking about.

[elis-blawg222]

November 17 - Sunday

But waiiiiittt theres FUCKING MOREEEEE. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLYYY I CANNOT EVER HAVE ENOUGHHH I CANNOT EVER BE SATIATEDDD BECAUSE IM FAT

ahem. anyways. Hello it is finally at today hallo everynyannn :333

Today, when I got up, I was so relieved to have a day off. This past week I only had 2 days off of work, and also this is my first Sunday I've had off in likeee 4 months!

I got up this morning and my mom and step mom had made sausage and fried green tomatoes. She asked me to try them, and I was right in front of her, so I was like uhh okay.

It was only 2 slices of fried green tomatoes so I had them and it was fine, but then I only had like half a sausage because she wasn't watching me closely anymore.

The rest of the day I was attempting VERY HARDLY ATTEMPTING to do homework, but I was distracted :c

Then, my plan was to make some low cal pizza. Like "cloud pizza" or smth? I even mentioned it to my step mother. I EVEN TOLD MY MOM. BUT THEY BOTH HATE ME AND DONT GIVE A FUCK APPARENTLY. because later when my step mom cooked they were like are you gonna eat?

did i not. just tell you. like . 2 hours ago IM MAKING. MY OWN SHET. AURGHGHOHRIORIO anyways

I was gonna make this shit I promise yall. but the voices. ha. THE VOIVES GOT TO ME. so anyways i ended up having a PHAT bowl of. stuff.

it was ummm tacos? kinda?

It was doritos, taco meat, cheese, corn, beans, sour cream, and honey siracha. I ate the whole thing.

but wait theres more!

I FINNNNALLY had a red velvet cupcake I made. and oh.

my god.

i genuinely and honestly couldve came on the spot IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I LITERALY CANNOT LIE LMFAOHRGHO

MY SOUL ASCENDED. SO I ATE THE WHOLE THING IT WAS HEAVENLY

BUT WAIT

THERES

MORE

After this I had a whole box of pocky. The chocoloate kind. Then went to throw my stuff away.

Then had another cupcake

....... and like 2 mini reece's cups........

and a gushers pack..............

LISTEN HEAR ME OUT-

i dont have an excuse BUT JUST WAIT ITS FINE ITS ALL GONNA BE FINE

AUUGHHH

IM GONNA REDEEM MYSELF PLEASE GUYS PLEASE BELIEVE ME LMFAO DON'T GIVE UP ON ME YET I PROMISE IM GONNA LOCK IN

Also almost directly after this, my mom offered me blueberry lemon loaf my step mom made like ... did you not just see me stuff my face...??

im gonna fast for 72 hours first of all and then im just gonna fucking mono diet apples for however long until I reach my fucking gw. ive been trying to get to this STUPID FUCK ASS GOAL WEIGHT FOR TOO. FUCKING. LONG. (its fr been like 2 weeks chill out) BUT NOO SRSLY I FEEL LIKE

usually I'd meet this gw so quick and this is getting drug out soso much kill meeee UGH.

(this is quite literally the consequences of my own actions ltrly smone tell me to stfu)

I'm hoping to go from I think it was 136.8 lbs to 132. That's ltrly all I'm hoping for. its 4 lbs. 2 kgs. I got that. In the bag... right.

I will literally set the whole earth on fire if my parents try to feed me I will end it in front of them ( this is a joke ) ( only kinda ) (not really-)

No, but I'm serious Im so determinded to do this. I've fasted 72 hrs before, I've fasted I think like 90 before so Idk that's not the issue of if I can do it its if my parents get in the way.

which is another thing. I know they don't have ill intentions and they do this shit bc they love me but like it is just SO FRUSTRATING.

I'm also gonna do my absolute best to hit my step goal every day. Its not like its high its only 6k. So . Yes. Pray for me LMFAO

can we all sing that high school musical song (we're allll in thisss together smths smth smth blah blah aaayyaaaa)

k byeee love you stay safe. I will update you guys as I go (i will try)

[celesjial]

minho live quick trans + sum

AW MINHO IS SO CUTE WTF

he’s basically doing a mukbang and i missed the first half of it but like he

looks

so

cute

i cannot

minho: guess what i worked out today :))))) NO not abs stfu

he stuffed his mouth to like the highest degree and then started freaking out about how he couldn’t chew i’m—

OH HERES THE SC LMAO

he’s a whole barbie

he’s like “meat——how about—MORE MEAT :D”

he just pulled out like this giant ass bottle of some drink and wtf was it

it’s apparently really spicy bc he’s drinking two different things at the same time sjwjwjwjjwjw

okay i have the hardest time translating minho and jisung because they talk really HECKIN fast and i cant keep up with them i’m sorry i miss loads

aww cutie hit 10 million hearts and he just like FROZE and clapped really loud stfu how is he so cute

he was aboutta say a tmi and then the bitch got distracted lmfaoooo

okay istg he has like three cups of some shit he keeps drinking

he’s on the phone with jeongin bc jeongin apparently called him and he’s calling him back and basically went “hi i’m on vlive i have food come fast if u wanna eat it”

JFC JEONGIN SHOWED UP LIKE FIVE SECONDS LATER LMFAOOOOO food attracts the babie

he’s like “i’m eating stay’s delicious recommendations :)”

jeongins like “wow that actually looks good” and minhos like “...i KNOW”

he’s feeding jeongin now and they’re discussing the quality of his food

minhos like “STAY TODAYS A MEAT PARTY :))))”

he’s feeding jeongin the same shit he was drinking but WHAT IS IT

he likes chocolate cake but apparently it’s hard to get/eat? something liek that he was talking too fast for me to comprehend hdjsjsj

he keeps making these noises whenever he decides he likes his bite of food it’s really cute he sounds like a cat

“what’s ur favorite ice cream from seoul cup” - he likes cheese strawberry ice cream (what the fuck is cheese strawberry ice cream) bc it’s apparently r e a l l y good

he’s laughing at all these comments but he won’t read them aloud I WANNA KNOW THE KOKE TOO

“what will y do next time” he said well TODAY is mukbang what should i do next time

comment said do a practice room and dance and minho just went 🤔

“play a game” minho: ????

“dessert mukbang” minho: hmmmmmmmmmm

okay imma be real here i have NO idea what he said after that i heard “wow nsjajskwkaksoqjdhjwjskwkskwkwkskksksks” bc he talks so DAMN fast

oh doing makeup or something he said

someone suggested doing makeup

okay he said something but i dunno what that word means so i’m sorry guys ㅜㅜ

“do u like mint chocolate” minho: yes it be the love of my life mint chocolate i ♥️ u

“are soonie doongie dori good” minho: yes! when i was little my mom used to take of them kind of like now so yes they’re good :)

“ur like dori” minho: ME??? no.

oh someone asked about his phone case and he said he thought it was pretty and something about something but i didn’t understand bc he talks. too. fast.

“be on chan’s room” minho: uh ok thas kinda up to him tho

minho: ok next time i be back with more content!! have a good day byeeeeee!!!!

[slamsams-blog]

Goldeneye - #24WeeksofBond

24 Weeks of Bond continues this week with Goldeneye.  Ask anybody who grew up with an N64 what their favorite Bond movie is.  I’d be willing to bet 9 out of 10 of those people will tell you this film.  I grew up with an N64, I knew the Goldeneye video game before I even knew it was a Bond Movie.  The Goldeneye N64 game was my introduction to James Bond.  Today, i feel like shouting from the mountain tops...I can now confidently say, that Goldeneye is my favorite Bond movie.  

Besides the incredible amount of nostalgia playing multi-player Goldeneye in the basement of my best friends house almost every day after school - this movie is gritty, dark, witty, complex, and full of “punch you in the gut intensity”.  Sean Bean plays 006, and it is the ultimate villain.  Who would be a bigger adversary to Bond, then Bond himself?  That’s how close 006 compares to 007.  This film is as close to Bond vs. Bond that we will ever see.  We also have the overtly sexual psychopath in Xenia Onotopp (Famke Janssen) and Boris Grishenko (Alan Cumming) a high level computer programmer and overall sleazy creep who uses “boobs” as his passwords.

It’s hard to top this cast of characters.  It doesn’t end with the bad guys either, we have our seductive Natalya Simonova, who isn’t the obvious “sex appeal” pick, which is nice.  When we first see her, she has a wool sweater on,  a “Karen” hair cut, and a voice lower than mine - but she gets her shit done and nobody is going to tell her no.  I love seeing Natalya boss Bond around, one of my favorite Bond girls for sure.  We also are introduced to the new M, Judi Dench.  Of course, with any new boss, there is chatter within the work force and M finds herself over hearing some of it.  I do wish we had some moment where M proves her trust, but it’s all well and good in the end because she’s Judi Dench, the best M ever...with all due respect to Bernard Lee of course.

This movie starts hot, with Bond bungee jumping off a giant dam in Russia.  He then infiltrates their military base where he meets up with his pal, 006 Alec Trevelyan.  We see them tackling this mission together, but Alec finds himself in trouble.  Bond decides to improv, and adjusts the timers to 3 minutes instead of 6 - but Alec gets killed despite following orders.  Bond is now pissed.  He manages to escape by driving off a cliff to catch a falling airplane.  

This is probably the most eye-rolling part of this movie.  I can suspend my disbelief more than most (I’m a pro wrestling fan), but this is just non-sense.  He manages to catch up to the nose diving airplane, get in, buckle up, adjust the rear view mirror, throw on some AC/DC for the road, and escape.  We see the bombs going off, Bond has completed this mystery mission. We never really find out what the mission was for.  I guess just to introduce us to Oromov and Trevelyan who will become key figures later on.

We come back from an intoxicating rendition of “Goldeneye” sung by Tina Turner, and we are now 9 years into the future.  Think of all the potential movies we missed out on in those 9 years!  We see Bond in Monaco being evaluated  where he meets a crazy speed demon who turns out to be Xenia.  Bond later goes to a casino where he find Xenia there and starts to realize that something troubling is brewing.  After further digging, he finds out she has a connection to the Janus Group - a crime syndicate who has an unknown leader.  Not really sure what Bond is doing in Monaco. Was he on holiday? Was he sent there for something in particular?

ANYWAY (thanks mom), Xenia ends up killing an admiral with her apparent titanium alloy thighs during a hot night and steals a “Tiger” helicopter that can withstand any sort of electro magnetic blast.  Bond doesn’t get to it in time, and the helicopter takes off.  Now Bond is really curious...and pissed. General Oromov from the opening and Xenia set off one of the Goldeneye satellites which trigger an electro magnetic pulse, destroying every type of computer generated device.  They then enlist the help of Boris, who had just hacked into the FBI security system all nonchalantly before having a cig.

The Goldeneye destroys the area and Oromov tries to cover it up by blaming it on British separatists.  But doesn’t realize that Natalya had survived the blast.  Bond now wants to meet thee Janus, and goes to see a russian mafia don who Bond has had history with and gets a meeting set up.  This is when we find out that Janus is actually Bond’s ole mate, Alec Trevelyan.  Bond is stunned and shaken.  9 years after he saw his death, here he is. Trevelyan notes that he didn’t account Bond improving and setting the timers for 3 minutes which burned half his face, and broke his heart. “007s loyalty is always to the mission...never to his friends”. Tear.

The plan is to set off another Goldeneye in London, creating a financial meltdown, putting England back into the stone age.  But now Bond has entered the fray, and is keen on throwing a wrench into the plans.  He does so...with a tank.  In one of the more entertaining chase scenes in Bond history, we see Bond chasing down Oromov with a bloody tank.  Destroying everything in his path, and finding time to adjust his tie in the process.  Man I love this scene.  Oromov is also another great character. Played by Gottfried John, Oromov is a desperate, corrupt General - trying to put on a front as head of Russia’s space division, but also keep Janus’ plans in tact.  With flask in hand, and sweating profusely, he has to tell Janus that Bond escaped.

(Seinfeld reference alert)

Bond saves Natalya from the bad guys, yadda yadda yadda, SATELLITE FIGHT SCENE!!  Bond comes to blows with 006 on the second base where another Goldeneye detonator is being held.  This fight is so brutal and hard hitting that it really feels like Bond is fighting Bond.  These two, once friends, now bitter enemies.  Just watching this fight hurts.  And just when we think Bond is at a dead end, he kicks a lever for the ladder and drops all the way down to the tiniest platform on the bottom of the satellite, leaving himself with no room for error.  The fight continues on this tiny platform where we eventually see Bond kick Trevelyan off and grab his foot for a final farewell.

I don’t necessarily have a fear of heights, but I do have a fear of falling.  What happens next always leaves me with the feeling of my stomach being sucked up into my throat.  Bond has Trevelyan by the foot as he dangles thousands of feet in the air.  Alec finally looks up and says “For England, James”, then Bond says “STFU” and lets him go.  I get shivers just thinking about it.

Oh, did I mention this score??? The music that plays throughout this scene is heart pounding and really gets me going. There’s nothing like incredibly written fight music and Goldeneye has the cream of the crop.

There is just so much to love with “Goldeneye”.  But unfortunately for Pierce Brosnan, this movie will be his first and his best.  Goldeneye was such a tremendous success coming off a 6 year hiatus after “Licence To Kill”, that all Brosnan’s next films suffered because of it.  This film was so good because it was dark, had an unforgettable cast, and had a TOUCH of humor.  That scene where Bond goes to see Valentine is really all the humor you need - how about that Minnie Driver cameo? After this, I guess the writers went all in on the humor bit of it because the rest of the Brosnan catalog can be little more cartoony and goofy.  While I did enjoy “Tomorrow Never Dies” - it just does not compare to “Goldeneye”.

Pierce Brosnan is the perfect Bond for this era and this film in particular.  I just cannot imagine and older Timothy Dalton doing this film justice.  Goldeneye ushered in a new style of James Bond.  This film would be a taste of what was to come with the future Daniel Craig movies, and it provided an opportunity for a new generation of young, teenage movie goers to hop on board the Bond Band Wagon with the N64 video game.  It got me, that’s for sure.  This was the first Bond film I ever saw, and I’m proud to say that it is my favorite Bond movie ever.

That’s it for me this week, let me know what you thought and why it was your favorite Bond movie ever!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom:

I watched with your dad and two of your brothers. It was a very intense and exciting film. Brosnan is so good. But it was pretty complicated and as is typical, I have a hard time keeping up with it all. That is why I loved the simplicity of last weeks choice. Lol. Because I’m old. The characters were great and I loved the feisty females

Jeremy Tillema:

Greatest bond movie produces greatest first person shooter on the greatest gaming console of all time. I said it.

Jake Benrud:

Great review Sam, and I’m with you on this one. This is a fantastic Bond movie and one of my favorites, if not my favorite. I think I have seen this movie more times than any other (I think Casino Royale might be second). I’m pretty sure I had the VHS, and I think you and I watched it numerous times. (I think Joanna was getting sick of me quoting the movie when we were watching it since I knew all the lines.) This is the movie that really got me into Bond movies. The action, the plot, the twists all made this an excellent and entertaining installment in the Bond series. Makes me want to fire back up that ‘64 and get the rumble packs out!

Tyler Dahlgren

I have been following along to these and have been giving them the Facebook like, but haven’t been commenting or watching along because honestly I could probably recite every Bond moving verbatim from start to finish. My earliest childhood memories (way, way earlier than any kid has a business being exposed to Bond) are of sitting with my Grandpa in his recliner while he munched popcorn and watched Bond. For better or for worse they are like a comfort food for me.

I say all of that to say this. Goldeneye is my favorite. I still remember watching it for the first time with Mark Kulig. We played the game and watched the movie more times than you’d think possible. The double cross, resurrection storyline. The characters. The cast is stacked. It all adds up so well and revived the franchise from some abysmal showings. I love this movie.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

[heartsoftruth]

if he moves, how do i talk myself into supporting a club i explicitly dont like and now despise because of the dirty and corrupt way they are taking away neymar from the club i love? how can i cheer and root for him while hating the club he plays for?

That’s what I also been thinking about…

Let’s just wait and see what happens and try to push these thoughts away… Tho I also have them… 

Anonymous said:idk why barca even let him go to china and record stuff for the team when he’s about to do his medical for psg the day after…

Anonymous said:NEYMAR IS LEAVING GUYS THIS TIME IT IS MORE THAN OFFICIAL !!!

Anonymous said:Al Khelaifi (PSG president): “Negotiations for Neymar are going well. I’m very confident.” So yeah that’s that

Anonymous said:Neymar going for a medical with PSG??? I’m sorry did I miss something when was this confirmed??? Last time I checked we are still awaiting his decision!!! Stupid Barca App

Nothing is official. Let’s hope he isn’t, but tomorrow and Wednesday gonna be crucial… 

There’s also rumors Pai told Barca he doesn’t know what to do yet… 

Anonymous said:those ney shirtless videos i mean can he stop being so hot .. i just need to jump on him and start kissing him and beg him dont leave ney dont leave bae plzzzzzzzzzz

Deffo way to many hot videos from today

nonymous said:meanwhile, Neymar out there today still following brumar pages and liking brumar quotes about his great love no one understands, jesus!! what a 14 year old! I don’t wanna insult anyone but I’m starting to think this guy is not the brightest in the bunch….

Probably bc she opened her mouth about them in an interview… All of a sudden I also saw many Brumar things on the suggested page by INsta xD 

Anonymous said:Next thing you know PSG are also buying Gabriel Jesus and Countinho and the rest of the Brazilian starting team 😂

Let them leave my baby Gabi with Pep!!! 

Anonymous said:Neymar looks very good in Barcelona’s shirt❗❗❗❗❗❗❗just in Barcelona shirt .

Real Talk!!!! 

Anonymous said:I seriously cannot understand how Dani thinks it’s “brave” for Neymar to leave Barca. It’s stupid to leave the best club in the world, not brave. What would be brave is to stay and face all the fans he has disappointed!

Dani only says that bc he wants Ney to come. He can stfu. 

Anonymous said:Who is that Amanda girl Marcelo and Ney were having a photo with??

Some YouTuber apparently 

Anonymous said:velvarde said some positive things about neymar, that he has some hope that neymar will stay.

Let’s hope so. I hope he makes the right decision: stay!

Anonymous said:Omg i know you’re not neymar i just wrote what i think because this whole thing makes me so aggressive we all don’t know what is 100% true and what not

Oh ok! hahah. Since you addressed it to Neymar I thought you thought I was him hahah. (That happens sometimes so thats why haha). 

Anonymous said:neymar signed the contract at barca knowing about leo’s role there. he should take some notes and realise leo worked and earned his way up to his position. now when the first offer of so much money comes along he takes it because he can be a team leader? no a true leader climbs his way up to the top, and earns his way. he has iniesta as a captain and an influence, if he didn’t learn anything from them or the team, can’t say i wouldn’t be hugely disappointed because i will be. let’s just see :/Maybe he sees that Leo is gonna be a leader for so long stlll and wants to be that too, but knows he won’t be at Barca for a while… I mean I could understand if he went to another team for that growth, but not P$G… That’s just a stupid decision. Anonymous said:Feels like Suarez and Messi were angry against Neymar yesterday… kind of disappointed with this, I expected them to be closer especially if it was Ney’s last match. Note (before people misunderstand my ask) : i’m not throwing shade at Messi and suarez

Didnt quite get that vibe, but maybe that’s just me :) 

@msn-forever​ said:Hi! Will Neymar really do that China thing? Or wasn’t it cancelled? Please do still post about him even if he’s a …u know player! I would hate to see him leave, only the thought about it is killing me, but I could never stop loving him! So please post about Barcelona and Neymar, whatever will happen. I also don’t know what to do about my name MSN-FOREVER…if the N wd get lost…😢😢😢

Hi, sorry for the late reply, but as you’ve seen Ney really did the China promo thing. (He also confirmed it on one of his INsta pages he was gonna go). 

Let’s hope he stays. There is still a small chance… 

Anonymous said:Neymar is an example of modern footballer love the work not ur company. He loves futbol he hasn’t attached any extra sentiments to the club. It’s just how it is. He is practical that’s it. Something leo messi isn’t if he was he wouldn’t stay at one club his lifetime given his quality once in a lifetime footballer he should’ve actually gone to different leagues&hence increase his brand value show he can do it anywhere which we know he can but still actually doing it makes a difference

I love players with club love. Love it. Since it’s so rare these day. I love how Luis still talks about Ajax with love. It’s the same here as an Ajax-fan we would welcome Luis with open arms again. 

Nothing wrong with club love and staying where you were made into a champ. Leo started at a top club and he made it to the top and still is the best. I think the argument that he should went to other leagues is so overrated. If you see how long he’s been at the top that answers the whole question. No other player accomplishes that. 

@naleyforever​ said:No it really wont be wrong because even if they are paying the money they are doing so for a job he is doing for them thats becoming the face of WC after that its his money not qatar loaning money, that happening wud get them into direct problem. Offcourse if people want to contest this as violation they can but in the long run nothing will comeout. Qatar as a gift is also going to give him an island.

Well UEFA will officially look into it and whatever happens or where he gets the monet from that company in Qatar can’t be affiliated to PSG otherwise they will breach the FFP. Or they will have to sell players hence why they probably are offering us Di Maria and other players we dont need. 

Anonymous said:So ney’s large group of friends not one of them can offer advise to him?! Gil is 28/29 one of the oldest in the group and he can’t even guide his younger friend because he foots all their bills?! I just don’t understand how they can all sit back and let their friend ruin his career and reputation like this.Ney is easily influenced that much is obvious so I am sure if any of them talked to him he will listen/at least consider their view but it seems they’re a bunch of yes men to Ney &his father!

I have no ideaaaa. I hope they slap some sense into him and tell them how much they LOVE barca and spain in general. They all made friends, speka the language etc… 

Anonymous said:To the anon: Carol and Davi living in Barcelona won’t stop Neymar from going to Paris. It’s a 2 hour flight from Barcelona to Paris. I bet they won’t move to Paris with Neymar since they have their lives settled in Barcelona, but they can always go to Paris.

@ anon. 

Anonymous said:hot lips yes they are so hot .. but they stole your tag idea them lips

HAHAHHA, Damn right they stole my lips from me! I thought of it as well xD 

[akira-seijuro]

THE WAY THE MAN LOVED HER AND THE WAY HE DIDN’T - An Eulogy to my Dad

Okay, fine Don’t make fun of my Instagram handle now, because Akira Seijuro means the one who shines the light on the empire when it’s in absolute darkness. I had to choose this because I wanted to re-invent myself without being names by the chromosomes of my parents when I have decided to detach myself from everything that defines me when I didn’t choose it.

This is a eulogy for my dad. I have been meaning to write it, say it for months, but I couldn’t get myself to do it. I thought it would be something that describes the relationship between my dad and me and how perfect it was at times when it was backward a bit. But it wasn’t, it isn’t. I was sometimes people wished ‘the daughter he never had.’ I still am I guess. The only person who could account for it, well, he is not coming back any time soon, let’s face it, there is no afterlife. A few days ago, I have realized this, when the person is about to take his/her last breath, whether or not he gave up on life or whether it was a life that had given up on himself/herself, what would they say? Whom would they think about? My father, unfortunately, has a very unexisting parents and sisters, in terms of parenthood and support, so when he was in pain, where people would normally say ‘amma,’ ‘ma,’ ‘abba’ because that’s the first love any language ever teaches you or shows you and is irrespective of the place, my father chose to say ‘bhavya.’ So he chanted my name thinking it would give him the strength to bear and to not give up. The emergency ward as I say was filled with him screaming my name in love as my mother told me. My mother and I did all that we could to survive ourselves, trying to equip ourselves with an invisible pain that was frowned upon. We loved him, we did. We still do. Most of the times, we keep talking about our dad, my mom used to call him bhavya’s pithaji, haha, very funny for a girl who doesn’t get herself to speak Hindi; so our dad, he is still spoken of the things in the present tense. Happens you know, oh no you may not, sometime you will. I was so possessive about my dad’s love, that I came first all the time just like he showed me from the day I was born. I wasn’t willing to believe and accept that there was someone my dad loved beyond his love for me. How could I not see it all these days? My mother. I thought he gave up all his cryptologist’s side, programming degrees to provide a stable living for us both, for me, all from scratch. But then he actually gave everything up the moment he decided to love my mother forever, the moment he saw her. Yup, love at first site boss. Very hard. I must say, dad, you did it where I failed. Not just the fucking computer science which I hate and which you apparently ‘enigmated’ easily (fun fact: he was qualified enough to teach processing systems and cryptology meaning he studied the function of enigma machine and intel systems back in 1980s.). So that and first love, both where I not literally and literally failed respectively. My mom also loved him, ahem, she still does in that conservative, traditional sorts of silent ways i.e. in an unexpressive responsible way. I remember taking up a wooden scale and trying to beat up my dad when he was trying to kiss her when she was trying to relax after teaching me alphabets and playing with me. Fun a 2 ft girl was controlling her 5ft 8in Dad.  I was the apple of his eye, but my mom, dude she was his circulatory system. So, when he saw me as the last person to ever see him alive, he became all ‘dadly’ and said ‘don’t worry 500ml water’s been out from lungs, get the nurse to take my mask off to talk to you’ and there were all male nurses and I didn’t know what to call them, my brain just and it was like, should I call them brother? Because females are sisters? I was STFU brain, STFU and no words were coming out of my mouth, I approached the male nurse to finally blurt out ‘excuse me’ in an ICU filled with children that were fated to die in the next 2,3 days. But then the nurse saw and I still couldn’t speak, I was speaking in sign language pointing towards my dad on bed no.5, which happens to be the number of my mom’s birthday, and my dad took care of himself and asked the nurse to take it off and that he is fine and wants to speak to me. Well, then my dad said, ‘come to the left side, 500, no 600ml water has been taken out from my lungs and I am now able to breathe and I am fine. Don’t cry.’ Bitch did not even say my name. I know my dad and I share a peculiar relationship when it comes to swearings, we don’t mind. Too cool for his age. Anyway, then went on saying ‘Don’t ever leave mom alone. Be with her. And call her in.’ The stupid security did not let my mom in as it was not visiting hours and they already sent me in as if they knew it would be my last hearing of his words. I told my dad they weren’t letting very slowly as if I just started speaking and he said ‘Okay, don’t cry. Take care. Draw cash out from the atm.’ Those were his last words and not once he mentioned me. It was as if he knew that I would kickass, be it funeral or work or life. I was like, okay, Damn dude, I am the dad now. Let’s see. The next morning, he was unconscious when I visited him, his eyes were almost closed, but I saw a teardrop and I asked the nurse to wipe it. ‘He should never cry, make sure of that please, no matter which state he would be in’ I said and I knew it’s coming now today or the next day. I did not cry, I came out, met my dad’s colleagues and made a plan to take his body in flight. I already spoke to the flight guy, thanks to google, told my office and his office people and then I made a plan as to how to proceed with the formalities. I did not have any expectations when it came to rituals, because I wanted my dad to be buried and to plant a tree. But I know it’s not possible for my strength to fight off almost a hundred plus people. So I gave up. And focused on getting my mom to be safe and off all these stupid things. I went home, did some shopping as I didn’t get any clothes because I refused to think that my dad was not playing a game this time. So, yup I went to my home, took my scooty off, kick-started it just how my dad taught me, went to lifestyle, shopped and bank, drew cash, then went home and packed for my mom and I for almost 10 days, got a pair for my dad and booked a cab back to hospital. Then, of course, no plan that is ever planned has gone according to the plan. It went sideways, hmph, I should say tangential ways, you all stupid math geniuses. Then he died. I called my friend, a dear one and he came in 20min, his best friend came and we were off to Kakinada in the ambulance and I was trying to protect my mom from a loafer. He was in a box dude. In a steel cold box. I could hear his body going up and down at the bounces along the road. I already felt the atrocity of the conservative traditions when the first ambulance driver refused to take his body into his van as it was Ramzan. I shouted in silence hoping my dad’s abdomen would go up and down like how I used to once watch when he was alive, just to make sure that he was alive. We reached Kakinada. Once he was taken off,  I planned about how to proceed, to keep my mom under her parents and sisters care for a few months to find a house because she never lived alone and me going to the office would be not right at that point of time. Go to his office, contact HR about the provident and gratuity and then proceed to bank formalities and the LIC stuff, all his work counterparts of departure. I did not cry but I saw everyone crying and I thought, okay, people normally would think I would cry my eyes out because I am sweet and sensitive and naïve. I was like dude it was just a dead body, my dad died yesterday itself. I actually said those words that seemed cold immediately after his death. It was nothing with the thought of what we call life; it was just a body that cannot even be used to transplantation because of cancer. I’m so sorry to say this but I am obsessed with cancer and I want to know everything there is to know to be found about it. Such a tiny, not meant to be blended cell. I saw a man who became from the healthiest and strongest being, transformed into a being of the suffering, diminishing every single second as I breathed and who turned to nothing, but eyes and jaw wide opened, pupils, dilated and dead. And nothing could bring any part of his life back. I knew life was meaningless, people want to love and happiness, but they can absolutely live without love, care, happiness. But people are annihilated because of pain my friend, whether physical  or torture. True, all the medals, patents, money, family, the name could make life accountable, but none of it actually makes it worthwhile. A friend of mine, I believe I can say friend now, he asked to read Leo Tolstoy’s ‘A confession’ and I did. I knew life is meaningless, no amount of power, success could define the purpose of life. It just is. There is no purpose, but there is one thing that I can say. I had everything, I felt nothing, I had nothing and I still felt nothing in terms of winning. Even now, doing marvelously at work feels nothing, not because I don’t value it enough but because it doesn’t have any in the end. But if I can support too, the share is a big word, it is worthless, so if I could support a person to be able to just be there with his/her own pain, I thought it’s livable their life. All these years, I was doing that making my life livable, and for others too. No goal can ever make you survive. Only death does. Yes I wanted to end my life and I tired but I could have succeeded at it if I took rather messy options but I didn’t because they inflict a lot of physical pain. I didn’t care about my body, but my body did feel the pain, physical and mental too, I can’t describe it, sorry. I have no words or form for it yet. So, pain is very real and very implicate and unbearable even to end in a few ways. I see humans as a bunch of tiny cells that happened to form to communicate with each other as lumps. Who knows? We think we are clever, but the millions of bacteria around us do something that we don’t know every day in their minuscule quantum systems. We’re the size of bacteria is this whole universe. Who cares about the beginning of the end? At last, it is all just is. Existing. That’s it. A medium that doesn’t have a beginning and an end and we are floating apart or alone or together creating our own theories. But pain is very real. And that’s the only reason why I respect or consider only the ones that I think knew this pain as real deals.

We’re drifting from the title now, I’m going to save it for a whole new going to be an unlistened podcast. My dad sacrificed everything he thinks he has for my mother and me and created his own everything his way. He loved her, but he never told her. He was proud of her upbringing, but he never appreciated it enough. He valued her sacrifice of a government job back then when she was earning more than him when he asked her ‘come live with me and transfer’s going to take too long, take our daughter come and live with me, let’s be together at one place, every second that there is and that is to come,’ which she did, but he never showed that gratitude. He always asked her if she had dinner whenever he went away to some parties, but never tried to enter the kitchen. He never made her feel lonely, but he didn’t make sure that their daughter did not see it that way. He lived till his last moment to fight to live with her and his daughter but he never asked how they were living. He tried not to fight with her in front of his little girl, but then he kept all of it to himself. He saw himself as a man when he didn’t need anyone, but when he did, he saw her as a mother he never had. He loved his little girl, but he never told her about the greatest love of his life, he had the fortune of sharing his life with for 24 years. He brought his daughter like a real human, to face any brink of adversity, but failed to think that she doesn’t need a man until he saw his last moments with her. My mom fulfilled her emptiness with the love between my father and I and the love and care she had towards me, but I must say, I cannot see my mother away from us, my dad, I wish he was okay with being sensitive even when there were no needles around, I wish he was okay with being pointed for wrong, when my mother was right, I wish he let her be braver and he himself be brave to tell her that he loved her. So, mom, I am telling you today, you were the best thing that ever happened to dad, not me, you were his circulatory system, a part of him that he could never live with, and now he is gone, and you are with me, I am not telling you I’ll be you perfect daughter, by marrying and settling off with a guy and 2 kids. If I am going to have it, I will have it my way, where I need not prepare myself a lot to tell my husband, Genius jerk, I love you but to get there, I must make myself sufficient first and to that to happen, sorry your daughter is very unique. She wants to be all kinds of awesome things. So it will take time, for her to be sufficient. I am going to do an M.Tech and MBA, if people want to stay, they will otherwise they won’t. But if they do, I am never going to stop telling them I love them, even though I am at the peak of my dissociative behavior now. I went straight from a person who loved many who doesn’t love any. But my dad taught me humanity, above all, that people who are not blood-related, can be your mother, can be your father (he had a father figure, Rama Rao sir who helped him a lot, for whose demise he shed tears, that I saw from my father’s eyes for the first time in my life), can be your brother (like once upon a time like Joseph Uncle), can be anything that could lift you up and all because they loved and cared, on the other hand, he also taught me that blood relations can mean to nothing like my paternal family. I love you, dad, you are the man who loved my mom the most, the man who taught me to be myself and not anyone else, you taught me, love, you gave me pain everywhere, but most of all, you let me sleep on your lap every night before going to bed and wrapped your warm arms on my winter solstice birthday, you celebrated me and I will miss being a celebrity. I am sure my mom is also missing me being a celebrity in her own palace. Love, the Akira who’d always step into the obsolete dark, lights it up and goes into the darkness. I will always remember to appreciate love, at the same time not choke it and to help ease the pain in ways we could. Don’t worry I already got my own version of absolutely stunning brother with the amazing heart and strength that is unknown to him, Akshay, 9 days elder to me and friends for a lifetime, though I am helpless now, I’d want him to be by my side when I die and I’ll die before him and don’t ask me how. Friends for a lifetime,  Gowtami, Chandana and Sneha too. Also, the responsible badass brother Prateek Bokade. I even have a person to look up to, Harsha Kuntur, a climate activist and awesome entrepreneur. I wish I knew the other Harsha too, but it seems he is also a kind soul that helps others build a life in his own way so we speak,  I love my maternal family, not all, just my mom’s parents, sisters and their respective sons, husbands. That’s enough blood relation and of course, the ones who show me, love, at times most needed, Bhavana and Pratishtha without any pre-requisites. I am making more acquaintances. I still do love one guy, but I sort of erm, not focused on that as loving is in my hands, but reciprocation is not. So, dad, he is a friend of mine, for now, just a bit more than a stranger, erm, I fell during my denial, so, couldn’t actually rot away like I did with the first one-sided one, and I guess that’s ok. So, let's see. You rock on and thanks for introducing me to Michael Jackson and Kraftwerk, I knew you would have Taylor swift because she is a feminist and she is strong, but dammit, I love her way too much! Let's see if my life turns out to be on lines of Keanu Reeves or Taylor Swift. But I’ll give up sometimes, quit on things and people like did, but I won’t step back when it’s dark. Thanks for all the courage in the genes' love. I don’t think this is goodbye. So I’m done, I love you, bubyeee for now. I chose the title because it showed that he never knew how, he just went with what he knew he can, but forgot what he was capable of when it comes to love. A brave step aside from the self and ego would have created an entirely different timeline and then maybe I wouldn’t be here saying this. I hope it is not too late for any generation of its kind.

[the-firebird69]

Clones and other trade off take thier chances they say

Demons step in. The mix changes here and there due to these attracting them supposedly spying on us

It doesn't work well.... They munch on you to be you, and you die. How impressive is that. Then thwart your idiot plan here and there.

They continue to infiltrate with ease we continue to push for it with gusto, on purpose and with purpose. You s continue to mock us for we can't tell why. You die we have them replace you, we question you, you come in with a classA arrogant as hell attitude after no work no homocide no intrigue just i spit it to happen... Not realistic, spitting it to happen. So we looked deeper and found you crying all the time it's so hard, raising your fist to God declaring victory, and hoping for an ambush to work it never does

So we watch and wait. Nothing today. No reaction to our response to our unanswered ultimatum, only ho hum more bombings of our areas devoid of them. And we wait again a massive signal that there is something wrong here, nobody gawked at the Crystal ship... At all. Not one Gawker, do you know why... We showed you didn't, too busy concentrating on harrassing him with ass skits and temptation he doesn't fall for.

So what are you doing, trying to use him against us. Why does it fail, you say you each other.

We want out of this idiotic shit you louses are morons... And so insolent it's not worth talking to you.

We don't see why, your not ready your nuke supplies are very low, your heads are up your ass and you fall rapidly. Fiberglass will soon be a memory.

What's next all kinds of metal, well we are on all the what's next started finding rockets of all materials even paper in paper Mills wood, plastic so we burn your manufacturing tonight

And what do you say, thank you bja says. Why, he thinks he's doing it and hording it then Joe does and it goes around, so they all have it and do what we do, each and every one of you never believed your intent evil on him always.

It's sick repulsive and non productive for us and s. Why does it perpetuate. Your women demand it we see why, they lose to you. You hurt her badly, she messed up you had her.

They say no he did it. He says ruskies knew they targeted ruskies his wife died due to her poison stores. Now he does the women figured it out.

All garbage, they take stuff by incriminating him and so forth, not anymore, we see them too. Her fatass up in the air to have us hit them. Then they grab us.

So we say this have you ever seen us. They say we are fictional. Then we say we swing by, impress you. You try to bother him due to the affront thinking nothing about him.

He says we advance due to your candy assed fag talk and walk and ludicrous behavior towards smarter people.

And we do.

It comes down to this, none if you are curious about us anymore, you want revenge. On us for telling.... So we look deeper, they see a vast ocean and nothing on it and or in it to stop you only you. So we hut you now in each other's names.

And then he says it loudly, fireworks to expose us, forgieners as cover, fiberglass, iron tons of biohazard and we look further you sit on a gold mine of stuff intend to use him as a finger hold, and intent is what we needed. I have proof and evidence

Just as he said Mac would they all got it, rebuild from one person being threatened, and then more and increase until restored.

So we fill him up you empty him out any sane person would have dropped dead or worse, well he is ours and treats you as dirt for following such an ass plan mocks you all day all night teases taunts laughs hits gets angry just as you say you make him. Inside on occasion make them stop that friggin shit teeth tight, we say we can't he waits, why, what is it let me assist and we work together as you insist

Then you get cut in half.

Now we know what he means, you cut him off, ehy

The plan is simple. Ride him round, drive him and car somewhere and threaten for all your stuff back. We hear it every second or two. Like animals. We are tired of it.

Threaten him to blow the ice or planet, you want war to grab us. Will try using him as you have to do it, feel the desperation is high enough, we guaged it, yeah ppl let go quite a bit. Here too.

And here it is, he worked tirelessly day and night, each and every one of you here saw it, he invented for us you heard it

Ignored our sail by let James try for it. No he says we see why a jerk off session. True.

So we hear you now tossed it all out to try what never works due to us. We will never forgive you idiots for this but your so damned wrong we have to pull you all out and never let you near him. Making our job mine a living nightmare all due to you morons treating us badly we figured it out.

It's pure raw math yiu ignore, we cannot help you with. Sure ninety years ago maybe, but not today lol.

So keep blithering you try daily all-day. It's actually very annoying

We stop you now. Assholes

Oh yeah forget your war, we are in the way.

You all do it. Soon he'll will be on you so you can see it, your so idiotic you don't get it

Real Vampires cork... Really bite you start drinking on the spot, we catch them laugh let you die grab the head. It's so gruesome and we do it to you

You have to STFU your so far off

Let me explain, where you threaten him daily and real Vampires mostly his kids, they eat you, our higher level demons know them take your heads as they instruct, your head dissappears into the night in a cloaked sack. Off your body, a truck grabs your body nightly. Right at the food court entrance nightly. Same as Predators. Predators fooled you s.

And you chuckle as if your winning.

What's your excuse for not knowing?

Not caring or reacting normally or in any way. Threaten until your gone?

Apparently.

So we hit you

Now actually. Your so lame. We have countermeasures for all your scenarios. All. Very slick very powerful. Mean too. Suck my blood you yell, then one runs at you, partially invisible, attacks you, you die very fast, viens all exposed.

Most are infected and connected. And walk by.

It's a viable affective system you know about but continue blindly

No Trump you don't ask us or him

Gabriel

[chelsorz07]

two in a row...must have been a rough week back in 2010

Old me/new me. I’m in a shitty mood so I have a feeling it’s mostly the same me.

Who sits next to you in english?

not in school. Haven’t been in school for over ten years so now I don’t even remember.

If someone liked you what would be the best way to let you know?

um, tell me? Just don’t. 

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my dad. My cats because I have very little human contact.

Would you consider your parents to be strict?

not anymore. they don't care. My dad got way more chill over the years. My mother will never change, even though I’m almost 30.

Have you ever tackled someone to the ground?

probably. I really don’t think so.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?

it is six. Nope. It’s 5 letters now.

What was the last thing you wore that was black?

bra. My current pants.

Do you say the F word a lot?

all the time. Like every other word.

What happened a year ago in this month?

fuck you. Idk probably a lot of me working and being alone.

What’s the last thing that went into your mouth?

mike's hard lemonade. Cigarette.

When was the last time you laughed really hard that you cried?

tonight. I don’t even remember.

Do you have a mirror in your room?

yup. No. There’s one in the cats’ bedroom though.

How about a tv?

yeah it's a piece. Yeah it’s the same POS I had seven years ago. And two years before that. Actually there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just tiny.

Do you have alcohol in your house?

quite a bit. Little bit of wine, even littler bit of whiskey, and a lot of beer. None of it will be consumed.

Did you like anyone last summer?

FUCK YOU. I mean I’m married so.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?

fuuuuuuuhuck you. Try eight and a half years.

If someone told you that you were a player, what would you say back?

i'm gonna become one. cuz i'm fucking sick of getting screwed over. I’d say that’s hilarious because I’ve only ever really been with one person.

How old will you be in 5 years?

26. 33.

What happened at 09:00 am today?

gave randa some breakfast. I was at work. And it’s after midnight so it was technically yesterday. But I have to work again this morning. Morning shifts can suck my crank.

Is any part of your body sore?

all of it since i started working out. My entire body hurts all the time. Psoriatic arthritis probs.

Last night you felt?

like shit again. go figure. Tired, depressed, annoyed, in pain, bored. 

Are you taller than 5’5”?

yep. An inch.

Stayed single almost the whole year?

SHUT THE FUCK UP. Haven’t been single since the last time I took this survey.

Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else?

i don't even tell them where i'm going anymore. they don't care. I’m an adult.

What if the last person you texted told you they had feelings for you?

he has. he does. sucks to be him that i can't get over the last person i was with before him. I’d say what we’ve both been saying for years, that we should have just married each other. That way we could fuck who we want and not worry about screwing each other over because she’s my hetero life mate fo lyfe.

What are you drinking?

mike's hard lemonade. Nothing. I’m waiting for the Mountain Dew I put in the fridge to get cold.

Do you have clothes that are not yours?

i still have dave's sweatpants that he let me wear on new years last year....depressing as fuck. Dave and I share clothes all the time. And I have some t-shirts that I stole from my sister like fifteen years ago and she’s never getting them back.

Is sex the most important thing in a relationship?

no. Apparently it doesn’t even chart.

If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?

ugh. one person. no matter what anyone says. or what i say. I have. Twice.

Got in any fights this year, 2010?

not physical ones. verbal, pretty much every day. I don’t get in fights. It’s not worth it.

Have you ever liked someone who treated you super shitty?

every day of my fucking life. Every day of my fucking life.

What do you look like right now?

like a drunk ass bitch with issues. Like I need a nap and a shower.

Cried recently?

daily. Last time I cried was yesterday morning because I put on the wrong jeans and they didn’t fit and I didn’t have time so I had a mental breakdown and left late.

Do you like sushi?

no. I do not eat fish of any kind.

Do you find it weird that some people brush their teeth in the shower?

kind of. Yeah I’ve tried it. I don’t like the sensation of brushing my teeth with hot water.

Describe how you’re feeling today:

dr. unk. Like shit.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?

pretty sure it was chele. and she's like my best friend. and future roommate. It was Amanda. And like I said, hetero life mate.

Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?

yepppppppp. You know, I cannot for the life of me remember who besides my family I could’ve ever been in a hotel room with at that point in my life. But I have several times since then.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yeah. I guess.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?

no. No but I’m sure they hate it when I smoke around them.

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?

lip. I’ve always toyed with the idea but don’t think I’d actually do it.

What would your mom do if she read all your text messages?

it's really not her business, no matter what they say. so i don't care what she'd do. Tell me I’m nuts like she does when she reads my facebook posts.

Do you like cuddling?

yes. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m just like, don’t fucking touch me.

Do you dislike anyone right now?

i dislike everyone. That’s still pretty accurate.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?

i don't sleep anymore. If it even is night when I try to sleep, several hours.

What's running through your mind right now?

i hate my life. What’s gonna happen to our house fund when Dave decides he just has to have a brand new Cadillac when he’s already put over 60 grand into the one he has now.

Would you ever live with anyone of your friends?

i plan to, very soon. I have lived with some of them.

What are you listening to?

nothing. Supernatural.

Who was your last text from?

chele i think. Text, Dave. But more recently I was facebook messaging Amanda.

Do you currently have a hickey? Where?

no. it's been over a month. I haven’t had a hickey since (apparently) over a month before the last time I took this survey.

Anything you would change about your life right now?

EVERYTHING. Where I live.

What color are your eyes?

hazel. I mean yeah but they’re more green.

Are you wearing any jewelry?

my lion silly band. if that counts. hope he's wearing his too. Wedding ring, engagement ring, antique ring on the other hand, and Dave’s wedding ring on a necklace because he’s not allowed to wear it at work.

How often do you give out second chances?

to one person and one person only. Anymore? I don’t.

A random person you don't know says they like you, what do you say?

don't care. Still don’t care.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?

not really. kinda hard to date from 700 miles away. We’re married.

Have you ever kissed more than one person in the same night?

nope. Actually yeah lol...one time we were all shitty on Four Loko and Teej tried to make out with me (he’s gay but kisses everyone when he’s drunk) and I was with Dave the same night.

Do you always answer your phone?

hardly ever. I don’t answer my phone. Like if you can’t text me, you don’t need to talk to me. Don’t call.

Someone phones you at 3:00 AM. Who do you expect it to be?

don't care. If anyone is gonna call me at all, let alone at that hour, it better be an emergency. So I’d expect it to be my family. Even though I hope that never happens.

Were you dating anyone this time of year last year?

i seriously hate you. I was married to someone this time of year last year.

Has anyone ever crawled through your window?

yep. Yes.

Do you tell your best friend everything?

aside from how much i'm falling apart, yeah. Hahahaha now I tell her that too.

If you were to die today would your life be complete?

no. No but my life will never be complete so.

Can you honestly say you loved your last ex?

no. but that relationship lasted all of five days. the one before that, yes. absolutely. and i still do. and always will. I did and I do. Other than Amanda, he’s my best friend in this world. I just don’t have the same feelings for him that he has for me.

Are you a jealous person?

no. Yeah.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

yeah. Kinda like all the time. I mostly agree. That’s the only thing about my appearance that I actually like.

When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?

just a few minutes ago. Couple days ago.

Have you ever broken someones heart?

yeah right. nobody cares enough about me to be heartbroken. Supposedly.

Without saying names, what's one thing about the last person you kissed?

he SUCKS at foreplay. He’s having a midlife crisis and worrying about him and our relationship is stressing me the fuck out and making my anxiety and depression worse.

Congratulations ! You just had a daughter. What's her name?

HELL no. I’m leaning towards Jenna.

Are you going to see Alice in Wonderland?

my former answer stands. I don’t do Disney.

Do you think people talk about you?

i know they do. don't really give a shit. Yeah. Still don’t care.

Hows 2010 been for you?

worst year of my life. especially the last four months. and three days. 2010 was bad but 2017 pretty much fucking sucks too.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?

yeah. A couple.

Honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you?

stfu. I mean not a lot has happened in the past month. 

This past October, what was your love life like?

oh my god. kill me now. Same as it is now.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?

NOW. Now.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

i'm completely empty. Way worse.

Did you kiss, hug, or hold hands with anyone today?

no. I am alone.

Are you a forgiving person?

unfortunately. Not so much these days.

Is your life drama filled enough to be in a reality show?

i try to avoid it but somehow the people around me seem to start it constantly. No but I should have my own show anyway because I’m hilarious.

Have you ever just laid outside and looked at the stars?

yeah. Yeah but it’s been a really long time.

Is there someone that you're attracted to?

sigh. My husband.

Who was the first person to text you this morning?

i have no idea. erica i think. Amanda.

Would you prefer skittles or starbursts?

starbursts cuz they last longer. Starburst.

Did you do something mean to someone today?

i'm mean every day. I doubt it. Fake retail me is a peach.

Is any part of you happy at all?

not even remotely. Not really.

What do you mainly want right now, that would just make your week?

for david lipps to realize that canadian midgets with illegitimate children who don't actually love him and like to play with his mind aren't worth giving up the girl who would die for him at a moment's notice and would give anything to have him back. To find a house and move back home like immediately if not sooner.

Would it be hard seeing someone kiss the person you like?

UGH. I’d kill them because he’s mine.

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

i'm used to it. no one tells the truth anymore. It shouldn’t surprise me but somehow I still get blindsided.

When will your next kiss take place?

never. Probably October 19 when Dave gets home.

Do hugs help when you're sad?

they make things worse. I stand by this. Because then I’m like if you’re being this nice to me right now why can’t you be this nice to me all the time, even though I’m a piece of shit and don’t deserve it. So then I break down even harder and embarrass myself.

Any nicknames?

not anymore. my former so-called friends called me titties. Chelsorz. But I hardly ever see the person who calls me that.

I bet you kissed someone today, right?

randa. I really didn’t.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?

i didn't sleep at all. That’s an every day thing.

Have you kissed someone in the past week?

randa. Yes.

How many drugs are in your system?

alcohol. Nicotine.

Would you say your an understanding person?

no. and i hate your lack of grammar knowledge. God that still bugs me. And no, I’m not.

Who do you miss and why?

i miss feeling like i had a future with the man i love. even if it was all lies. I miss home.

[nicemango-feed]

Not Oppressed Enough : Being the Wrong kind of Ex-Muslim

For those asking over the past few days, wtf happened to start these mob attacks on me: Well...I'm not entirely sure, because they sort of came out of the blue. There's a general rift in left-leaning atheists and right-leaning atheists. And 'right-leaning' is seen as some sort of slur, when it's just an observation based on the politics coming from some of these types. If you're anti-left on everything, and rarely ever anti-right...it says something. Especially today.  This split continues to become more pronounced in these times of the rise of the far right. While lefties are looking to focus some of their criticism there, others are trying to resist and silence that criticism. 

Basically a few days ago, some dude I had never heard of, called @FuriousFossa was upset that I tweeted about not knowing what Taqiya was till I got on twitter. Despite growing up in Saudi. Because this didn't confirm his previously held beliefs, what good are ex-muslims if they can't confirm your bullshit views?!  Then, someone upset him further by saying that people using that term while criticizing Islam are usually bigots. OMFG the B word!! We have to be extra PC with that word, so as not to upset the delicate sensibilities of the anti-PC, anti-sjw crowd, why can't everyone know that!! 

And I'd agree, people insisting on using that word are usually pretty loony...(as was proven in this case).  I've got news, Muslims can lie without any special religious permission. Just like any other theist.  This isn't a widespread muslim conspiracy to deceive people. It's a niche concept that most aren't even aware of. And I mean, there's just so much actual terrible stuff that is commonly practiced  in Islam (polygyny for one) to criticize anyway, there's little reason to cling defensively to obscure things like Taqiya.  Here's another ex-muslim perspective on this: 

Fossa was also upset I wrote something (to someone else, not him) about how pointing to ISIS is a great whataboutery tactic for apologists of the western right. Just point to ISIS, it'll always be worse, and you're off the hook. 

That's it two strikes for me, and he decided he wanted to disprove my entire background and lived experience. This way, you know, once I was totally discredited...at least he'd know I was wrong about the concept of Taqiya, and he was right!  Trying to prove me dishonest, after being upset I didn't confirm his views on a dishonesty concept in Islam....almost like...trying to prove me a taqiya-er. How taqiya-esque.  

It got me accusations of deflecting away from the obvious point that ISIS is worse (which i'm sure I've said myself roughly about 9465 times. I just don't feel the need to utter it every time... with literally any other criticism of anything other than Islam. 

It also got me accusations of trying to deflect from criticism of Islam. Lol. 

Yeah. I'm sure it does take a little more than a bio, maybe like years and years of work of criticizing Islam, that are useless now apparently because I also criticize the Western right. These criticisms can't get any less intelligent, honestly. 

*** Then...of course, Lalo - always on the lookout for jumping on any criticism of me, Joined in and helped to float the conspiracy theories to a larger audience (who knows why - I've barely interacted with the guy in ages...he's still always infuriated with me). And then Yasmine, who, it seems, had it out for me since we had a private falling out during Gad's last unhinged meltdown at me. 

#TheTriggering of @gadsaad http://pic.twitter.com/F2ifbm3UcB

— Armchair Critic (@JoelRDodd) December 2, 2016

Because she, as my friend, publicly tweeted how those attacking me, and me were equally 'embarrassing' or something. I tried to privately discuss it with her, she deleted her tweet I believe, but it was clear she wasn't too sympathetic to the attacks on me because, she tweeted I was equally at fault..and because I criticized Gad/Rubin's far-right associations in the first place. People she clearly considered allies. I was pretty disappointed and put off, but my reaction was not to go out and slander her. I just silently disengaged and went about doing my own thing, which still included criticizing Gad and Rubin's shady associations.  Of course, silly me. I didn't learn or keep my mouth shut after the last round of baseless attacks. Lalo even tried circulating the 'she's not a real ex-muslim' thing that time, but I think it got lost in Gad's endless stream of hate.

Then months later, this happened. This time Lalo got more traction.  *** The Nitty Gritty Gather round peeps, I’m gonna share a really absurd tale about supposed ex-muslim allies, supposed critics of sjw style 'oppression olympics' and sjw ideological purity tests…but who are now furious because an ex-muslim they disagree with ideologically/politically in their minds was not oppressed ENOUGH. 

A fellow ex-muslim, that I have personally promoted, jumped in happily to weigh-in on the drama and attempt to negate my lived experience by claiming I just *dabbled in oppression*, haven’t truly experienced it or anything… My life was like a 5 star resort apparently...and everyone else seems to be a good judge on what kind of life I had in sharia-land.

I wasn’t oppressed enough in Saudi fucking Arabia…This is a *real* objection raised by some, including a fellow ex-Muslim. 

Let that sink in.

It's not even by people I actively debate or disagree with…but people I have little to no interaction with. They don’t understand the first thing about life in Saudi, none of them have lived there.. but are telling others far and wide what my life experience was like. They are giddy from having ‘exposed’ me, caught me out in some lie about the duality of life in Saudi Arabia as an expat. They've been working hard for this one. 

Oh my. 

Whatever will I do now. They’re on to me.  

Not like I’ve podcasted about the duality of life in Saudi here, here, here, or here….and not like i’ve specifically addressed this strange juxtaposition in articles myself or anything. I have never claimed to be the most oppressed person in Saudi Arabia, quite the opposite in fact. I have always talked about being lucky to have the kind of life I did there. But, despite that...my life certainly wasn't free from the application of Sharia law, from standard Islamic theocracy regulations, that were just absorbed into my life as 'normal' because I knew little else. 

Yet - They have clipped some audio, from *my own show*…that I do *publicly*…to demonstrate how ‘dishonest’ and contradictory i’ve been. 

Great question indeed. Maybe try checking out the work of the person you're accusing, your question might be addressed in the very episode you're clipping. 

(let me come out and say now that I’ve lived in both Saudi and Pakistan, lest they do some other genius clip about my ‘contradictions’ ..sometimes you will hear me talking about going to school in Saudi, sometimes you will hear me talking about going to school in Pakistan. It’s because both are true… not because I’m a secret spy or Taqiyya-er who can’t keep her lies straight) 

This is almost too easy to mock and ridicule, I feel embarrassed for them, I do, and I’d normally just ignore insignificant people.. but they keep going on and on. They keep being told how wrong they are at each turn too. Brutal. But they’ve backed themselves into a corner now… the only thing they can do is double down and lash out at me…Not admit they made a mistake or something, and were wrong to accuse me based on zero evidence. That would be the decent thing to do.  

A lovely summary from the detached-from-reality point of view, calling me an insult to women and ex-muslims suffering under sharia, this was posted on lalo's public thread. 

I imagine this will only get crazier as their rage grows…because they cannot discredit me based on things I’ve been entirely honest about. Since I'm the wrong kind of ex-muslim, I do not get the charitableness anonymous ex-muslim accounts they don’t have issues with get. 

Mostly, people on both ends have an issue with me because I refuse to pick a team. I think criticizing both Islamic far right and western far right is important. And I think in Trumpian times, Its vital to focus *some* of my critique on the western right and its apologists. When that toxic stuff overlaps with criticism of Islam, it does nothing but muddy the waters, and hold back valid criticisms from resonating with the mainstream. ***

Know this:

I do not exist to confirm any narratives. 

I occasionally deviate from my appointed role as provider of anti-Islam masturbatory material. 

I exist simultaneously as an ex-muslim woman who grew up under Shariah (that’s right I said it again), who will harshly criticize Islam when relevant, as an expat from Saudi who will tell you that in some bubbles life in Saudi was pretty secular at times, and as a *Western* liberal feminist. So I will have critiques of western sexism and misogyny too. And I will speak up against anyone pitting different aspects of my identity against one another. Do not use sharia to silence western feminists, and do not use western perspectives to silence women who speak up about hijab, etc. This is whataboutery. Women everywhere should want to better their situation. We are far from perfect equality even in the west.

I am happy to criticize feminism when it goes off the rails, but I do not buy into the “feminists are the real sexists” bullshit, or the western feminists should stfu because they aren’t getting stoned to death. 

Anyway, I will have happy memories of my childhood in a secular compound in saudi…I will have tales of women bathing topless at my compound pool…and I will also have tales of being forced into a black bag against my will because of the ‘Muttawas' or morality police as we called them. I will have tales of having a great secular education, and I will have tales of horror where I, only a child, saw my mom’s ankles hit by a muttawa’s cane because her headscarf slipped in the market. I will have tales of being shepherded quite literally with sticks by morality police in Mecca who herd the women hastily into a segregated prayer area for women. I will have tales of being pushed to the ground and almost trampled because of the morality police forcefully segregating us in Mecca. I will have a story or two about running…being chased by muttawas as they yell behind me for my headscarf slipping…of narrowly making it into a car that was driven for me (because I did not have the right to drive)…and of the muttawas catching up, and grabbing on in vain to a little bit of black fabric as our car sped off and it slipped through their hands. I will have such stories of escaping the morality police in the street.. and of feeling fear, and… of feeling comfort ...that for some hours I had a compound to go home to…and to shed the black cloaks that I wasn’t given a choice on. A reverse amish compound as I’ve literally referred to it before. 

I encompass all those identities and I’ve repeatedly, honestly explored them with my audience…I’ve pointed to the absurd duality. Yet the savage internet mobs who hate me (which only used to consist of islamists at one point..but now they are fewer than the rabid western right wing apologists) have portrayed this as some great shady conspiracy. Some incredible contradictory set of stories that simply cannot be consolidated. 

It must be that I’m lying about one or the other. 

“Either you grew up on a compound, or either you grew up in sharia - which is it” — heaven forbid they put some thought into it and realize, well… oh…it can actually be both! Imagine that. 

Cue fellow ex Muslim, previous guest of my show Yasmine to jump in and cast further doubt. She posts an ad for the most extravagant compound in the entire country, and projects that onto my experience. My compound was nothing like Aramco, it was incredibly small and modest in comparison, but thats irrelevant, even if it were Aramco I'd have to experience Sharia every time I left. My life was not better than the life of most Canadians because I was still forced into a black bag against my will, pretty much every day. Morality police and their canes were a regular sight, I had few rights as a woman. But sure, please go out of your way to discredit my lived experience. Why they did this appalling thing, and insisted on it even after being told how it could be both...is beyond me.

Real classy. 

Lol, cuz growing up in Saudi in a compound is TOTALLY like vacationing in the nicest hotel in Havana for a few months. 

 Cue random person who just isn't satisfied:

Not good enough apparently.

Still not good enough.

"I don't like what Ali had to say so I'm going to fill in my own details despite never having lived in Saudi or knowing anything about life there." "Eiynah barely left the compound, went to school on the compound" Umm, No. Actually I left the compound every day, to go *to* school. I just love that details about my life are authoritatively being discussed, without any actual knowledge, ffs. Yes I barely ever had a real conversation with a Saudi, I've talked about this several times. It doesn't mean I didn't speak to Saudis on a daily basis in the markets, and shops, etc. It just means I never actually had the chance to know a Saudi national closely and have a proper conversation with them because we were kept segregated. Something I have discussed repeatedly. 

Not even multiple corroborations of this reality are convincing enough. No no, everyone who says this is lying, but these random internet people who know nothing about life in Saudi, are here to 'non-Saudi-splain' to me that my experience is inauthentic, that I’m an embarrassment to women who *really* live under sharia. I'm just an imposter, who lived under sharia but also had access to a community pool. So you know, discrediting my story is fair game. I also had air-conditioning. The luxuries I’ve been hiding from you all. 

This is the same group of people mind you, that get upset when people try to discredit Ayaan Hirsi Ali's lived experience of being a victim of FGM. But because I don't fit the mould they'd like me to, and also will criticize people within the islam-critical scene. You can make comics to mock and laugh at my life experience. 

Minus the *face* covering, both those pictures were my reality actually.

No amount of refutations of the lies put out there about me are enough. Surely anyone with a shred of principle would object to random false accusations being used to smear someone. I mean these ‘principled' types are out in droves when  someone slightly misrepresents Richard Spencer the nazi or Milo. “I don’t agree with their ideas but” just doesn’t extend over to ‘the wrong kind of ex muslim’ I guess. 

----Worse still…Yasmine, once a friend…someone who’s had a terrible experience under Islam no doubt.. I would never discredit her experience despite her vicious attacks on me, She’s someone I empathized with, with all my heart.. But somehow she has it out for me because I’m, you know,  a shit disturber who derails from *only* criticism of islam, by having a problem with fellow atheists when they promote rape apologists or… white genociders… why can’t i just keep my head down and perform the role that is laid out for me as an ex muslim? Criticize islam, thats it. ----

This is especially funny because the example of loony he uses is someone normalized, legitimized and promoted by..none other than the person he's defending. Also what is up with the weird mentions of "loyalty", like if you've disagreed with me on Rubin, no need to be "loyal", just be honest. I won't respect that view, but it's better than dishonesty.  

Yeah its totally mental and a delusion of grandeur to expect someone like Rubin who claims they are liberal to not promote rape apologists, like they've done nothing wrong...or white genociders. This is a convenient strawman of my position on Rubin, used repeatedly. I don't care if he aligns with me on every single thing, I enjoy some of Sam Harris' work, I don't agree with him on everything (as you might have noticed on my episode with him). I enjoy some of Maajid Nawaz's work...I don't agree with him on a lot, since he is an adherent of religion and I'm not. Heck, I don't think I agree with anyone on everything. But I do expect people to at least not look the other way on *rape* apologetics, White Genocide, Islamism...important values like that matter to me. they aren't some tiny, nitpicky details. For some people , I guess opposing *only* Islamism is important. (Oh, and not like I'm currently being targeted for a difference of opinion).   Ah, the lack of self-awareness. 

pic: via @vinikako

@NiceMangos @AkiMuthali It struck me as I was writing it that the people who've been going after you lately seem to want to establish an orthodoxy for ex muslims.

— Lefty Conspirator (@NoKnownFuture) March 31, 2017

Whatever mine and Yasmine's differences on Rubin were...was no reason to jump on the Lalo bandwagon to openly try to discredit my entire existence with no evidence. To post tasteless memes about me trying on some oppression, just dabbling in it for fun. 

A) "Dabbling in oppression." What kind of person do you have to be to say that sort of thing- and without any intimate knowledge of the person who's life you're talking about. B) It's not all about passports, but yes to a great degree, people in Saudi are valued more in the workplace depending on their passport - another thing I've talked about on my podcast. However, when living in Saudi I had a total, bottom-rung, treated like garbage Pakistani passport, not a Canadian one. Wrong again on all counts. C) I hope you don't ever criticize concepts of white privilege or PoC being romanticized, because that doesn't come close to this level of "oppression olympics".  It's just so so callous, can't wrap my head around this.

I’m at a loss for words, honestly. I wouldn't have expected stooping to this level. Though, things got a bit weird with her after Trump won, she was overly defensive about criticism of Trump voters. Since then, I’ve seen her compare DNC/Keith Ellison situation to Nazi Germany… in this TRUMP ERA

 … I’ve seen her rejoice at the GOP winning….

I'm sorry but "I'm so glad GOP won" isn't a liberal sentiment, even if in response to Linda Sarsour, who's basically the flip-side of the problem to Rubin. Another sanitizer, downplayer, legitmizer of another far-right. But somehow calling out this version of far-right apologist is ok!

 … I’ve seen her downplay the inhumane 'Muslim ban' that separated families. That could have potentially prevented people like her, from escaping the ME when they needed to. The idea that people around the world could be upset at the principle, despite a lack of their personal involvement... why is that so hard to grasp? 

  I'm happy to call out Linda Sarsour for this. But this is the same issue I take with Dave Rubin, he is masquerading as a liberal or at least pushing / doing apologetics for right wing conservativism, imo - And some people obviously prefer if you call out only *one* side of this. But sadly not only do they prefer it, they go after you in mobs, and try to discredit your entire being for speaking up on both.

My concerns of the easy slide to the right are pretty self evident. This is something ex-muslims are particularly vulnerable to, I myself have been courted by the right. But actively resisting it in the face of rising popularity isn’t something everyone can do. It's why I'm not too bothered about popularity. I'll happily take being less popular and more consistent. 

Anyhow, she’s used this whole dumping on me process to tag Rubin in a tweet…and whaddaya know… get a spot on the Rubin Report, as I had predicted! Prove me right, that’ll show me!

***

I guess it means that there’s not many of my views that they can effectively argue against if my critics have to resort to weird conspiracy bullshit about me not really being who I say I am. 

Imagine how stupid and risky it would be to make claims about being an ex-muslim from Saudi growing up under sharia and then to do a podcast series talking with people who lived there for real (unlike me)… about the details of life there. Why would I put myself in that situation? And if I wanted to make up my story, why not make up full oppression to the worst degree. Why this better compound life? 

@NiceMangos @AkiMuthali @SurlyCripple @StrictlySid unless you've lived under locally-sourced artisanal sharia, I don't want to hear from you

— Martin Mannion (@NataliasDad) March 30, 2017

Lalo know’s that I’ve seen my mother hit by morality police, he knows these experiences but still wants to question and delegitimize. These are the same people so disgusted (rightfully so) when Greenwald misrepresents Sam Harris. How are these guys any better I ask? If we cannot have standards simply because someone is Islam-critical, then we are no better than the Greenwald's we so love to criticize.

#NotShariahEnough 

Lets remember what’s really important here though... I am not oppressed enough. I am just pretending to be because it’s hip.

Thanks Yasmine! 

So being forced to wear a hijab can be oppressive even in Canada (I agree). But being forced to do so by the state in Saudi is just 'dabbling in oppression'...like life in a 5 star resort! 

It's baffling, it is.

But the only ongoing beef this crew has with me is over a difference of opinion on someone like Rubin or Douglas murray. Inevitably, if you probe their criticisms of me they end up around the fact that I don’t like Douglas Murray, that I had the audacity to have Sam on my show and do something other than talk about what we already agree on (yes, Islam sucks), that I had the audacity to ask Sam his views on or make him aware of what other prominent atheists are doing, that I shouldn’t criticize Rubin (no matter how much evidence I have) - It’s petty to go after bad actors on this side apparently. But its incredibly noble to go after Werleman, or Reza Aslan or Linda Sarsour or Glenn Greenwald. 

Opposing bad ideas& apologists for people with bad ideas consistently is ‘tribal’ & ‘petty’. Picking a side and avoiding self-criticism is truly rational. Heck if I thought that way, I’d never have left Islam.  (But have I really? how will we ever know?)

Yup, its the left that can’t tolerate dissenting views. Meanwhile Lalo blocked me long ago for having a conversation on MY podcast, with someone entirely unrelated.. whom he claimed to not even know… sure never mind it was known anti-muslim conspiracist who thinks Maajid Nawaz behaves like an Islamist. And Obama may have been a secret muslim. My questioning Robert Spencer so deeply offended Lalo, the champion of tolerance and rationality… 

lol.

And remember, I'm the one supposedly with 'mental' 'delusions of grandeur' about people having to align 100% to my views for me to like them.

Now we’re at a point where the desperation to discredit me for wrongthink is so evident… my criticism of Rubin, Gad and co is based only on what they actually say or do, observable facts, I am happy to provide proof for any allegations of them promoting far-righters or even to talk to them, but none of these Classical Liberals wish to engage with the actual criticism, and none of them want to talk to me.… So - in retaliation for my evidence based criticism I get smears based on nothing…and some onlookers think this is a tit for tat. It’s being framed absurdly, as an equivalence. Which I will object to every time.

Lol, I'm the monster for objecting to what Rubin does. Not Rubin, for promoting rape apologists.

And, this is the passionate defense Rubin gets..that doesn't even engage with the criticism of him. It's not who he has on, but how he talks to them.

Yes, my cunt-like overreaction after days of being dragged through the mud, consisted of me simply saying its 'bullshit' to equate me with the people smearing me. And not to tag me in such tweets again.

Imagine if someone you considered a friend and ally suddenly interjected themselves into a public smear campaign about you, simply to put out a false equivalence to tens of thousands of followers.And basically say, 'its not my problem'...so they're all cool. Well, I guess it'll be #NotYourBeef next time someone is slandering Ayaan, as well. I mean of course, if someone finds themselves caught in an awkward position, theres the option of just steering clear and not involving yourself. Which I'd totally respect. But if you're going to publicly say they're A-Ok after what they did to me, then I will always object. #WhatACunt, couldn't even graciously accept a respectful equation between people lying about me, and me.

I'll say this again, I’m criticizing someone who is promoting far-righters in an environment ripe with hate crimes (very much the flip of what Linda Sarsour does with Sharia/Saudi Arabia, etc.)…There’s a legitimate reason to do this… this is not about hating someone personally. It's as necessary imo, as this very group of people think their criticisms of Cenk, Reza, Linda, CJ Werleman are.

The attacks on me are however are just pure hate…disagree with my actual views any time. I'd welcome honest disagreement, but don’t lie about me ffs. As Lalo says:

The Irony. 

If I respond and defend myself against such baseless accusations I’m accused of being the petty one who just won’t shut up and let people spread lies about me. Ugh Eiynah….why so petty? Why can’t you just let people say hateful ridiculous stuff about you? The other 'petty fight' she's referring to below, is the previous Gad meltdown. Which consisted of days of him bashing me as an 'anonymous troll', 'Queen of anti-semites', 'plumpy pineapples'...because Jerry Coyne posted a pretty mild (evidence-based) comment of mine about Gad and Rubin promoting far right people like Tommy Robinson, PJW of Infowars. His meltdown is documented in this thread.

Anyhoo, I wanted to make note of this instance for just how crazy hypocritical it has been. Who knows where we’ll go from here…this is the ‘community' that supposedly values evidence but has few issues with the guy who legitimizes Infowars while crying that mainstream media are fake. This is the community that is constantly, (rightfully) upset at Ayaan being silenced for her harshly critical views on Islam, but won't really care if some from within are trying to silence ex-muslim views on the internal problem of legitimizing western far-righters. If you care about ex-muslims and muslim women's rights so much...you should technically care if the people potentially mistreating them are muslims or western far righters.

On paper many will have the correct answer to opposing the right wing hijack of criticism of Islam, but putting that into practice, gets met with resistance and character assassinations as you can see. 

They call themselves ex-muslim allies. Nope… just when ex-muslims stick to criticism of Islam, and serve a purpose… 

They are bothered by my anonymity now.. but had no issues with it for years when I mostly just criticized Islam. (They have no issues with more agreeable ex muslim accounts either). Now, I'm this 'divisive' person who won’t stfu about the Western right, when hitler salutes are in existence again. Let's stick to the important facts though, it's the left that's always at fault.  Misrepresenting even people like Richard Spencer. He's not a white supremacist, silly lefties, he's a white nationalist.

Rubin and Lauren Southern talk about how Spencer isn't really a white supremacist and no one knows the arguments against white nationalism http://pic.twitter.com/h0y06Uur4T

— Tom Bloke (@21logician) March 2, 2017

***

There are many offshoots to this attack on me too… so many ppl with all this rage uniting against me … its really rather sweet that everyone came together like this to pile on total lies, false equivalences between me and my smearers.

Right, I'd LOVE to see evidence of this. I once long ago said that mocking muslims as dirty for eating with their hands, is not a legitimate criticism of Islam. This borders on some real weird bigoted territory. And this woman has obsessively stalked my twitter ever since, despite being blocked.

I'm sure she has no troubling views or anything.

Lol, in this instance its not her, but others are clearly using it to get her on yet another wonderful, totally liberal show with no history of far right support.

Staunch A (from above screenshot) has residual anger for me, because I wrote a blogpost calling out an anti-migrant publication she worked for. Run by the guy who tweets this stuff:

According to Yasmine I smear everyone, even though she participated in smearing and discrediting *me* completely uninstigated. To them smearing is simply when other people object to their lies. When people defend themselves... its an attack. Ok then.

This is truly some detached-from-reality, totally lacking self-awareness stuff. A) Smear someone, sling mud. B) Post tasteless memes negating their lived experience, because u don't like their views C) Accuse them of being intolerant of differing opinions D) Accuse them of smearing *everyone* & mud-slinging, when they defend themselves. E) Say you're the victim in all this. F) yes the only reason i'm speaking up about her now in the middle of a smear campaign is because she's more popular than me. That must be it.

***

If I emotionally distance myself from this cyber-flogging for my crime of blaspheming against Gad/Rubin/Murray its actually a fascinating case study of in-group out-group politics... and hardcore tribalism from people who are claiming to reject tribalism. 

All they can do is think critically about pre-approved opponents Reza or CJ werleman, Cenk, Greenwald, Sarsour… if someone in their perceived in-group has the exact same tactics they’ll go out of their way to demonize anyone calling that out...

Charges against me

I said Yasmine was pandering to the Right and said she was an opportunist for using this specific instance to get airtime on Rubin. - provable through her own tweets, fb posts. Like seriously…she can go around discrediting my entire existence, post memes about me dabbling in oppression to be cool or something, and I can’t even in response point to actual behaviour I’ve observed, that might explain why out of the blue she chose to do this? As someone who promoted her, I think I can safely say she used me and my platform and publicly discarded me when she had no more use for me. I can’t even begin to fathom what kind of ex-muslim would say ‘she dabbled in oppression’ about another. 

I criticize Rubin, Gad and Douglas Murray - only ever based on what they actually say/endorse..not on personal attacks. Though Dave and Gad have tried to retaliate via personal attacks. I welcome disagreement with my views, and have offered to speak to them many times. But they avoid engaging with my actual criticisms and avoid discussion.

I say Dave and Gad pander to the right - how is this even controversial? "Mr. Why I left the left, let me work with Dennis Prager on how shitty the left is", and "Mr. 'Trump has the superior position on Islam', and 'let me get Geert Wilders on my show to piss of Eiynah'"

I’m divisive - sure only as divisive as anyone pointing out Islamism is bad and apologists for it are bad. 

I deflect from criticism of Islam - um.. nope? Have u seen my work? I just object to people using Islam to deflect from criticism of the western right. 

I haven’t been oppressed enough. - Lol 

I have not had as hard a life as people who didn’t live in a compound in Saudi - agreed. Never claimed that I did, in fact always have made this distinction, if u only took the time to look into my work, listen to my conversations with Saudi women.

My claim of growing up under sharia is untrue - Nope. 

I once said to someone in a Tweet i’ve only personally *met* about 3 niqabis - so i must not know much about oppression/Sharia. Er, no. Having personally *met* and sat down with very few niqabis doesn’t mean i didn’t grow up around them, go on the bus with them every day, see them in the market all around me, see them in every waiting room, community gathering etc, etc. I personally don’t have such a religious family, and we don’t personally know such extreme religious people. I’ve met a handful, and its really uncomfortable talking to people in a black mask. I’ve lived around them my whole life though, and probably had many insignificant interactions with them. But no, I just don’t *know* many is all. 

My ex muslim story is so dubious that even EXMNA had to reject me - Nope. Refuted. But not retracted, by Mr. Honesty himself. 

It was mean of me not to graciously accept Michael Sherlock’s public false equivalence of people who smear me and me, right in the eye of that storm. I said that’s bullshit, so its understandable he jumped to “You are the monster u revile” “You are a crazy cernovich conspiracist about Rubin” (yeah ok if u think cernovich is crazy, then u should have no problem with the fact that i think Rubin normalizing cernovich’s craziness, is crazy) and then “cunt” x 2. - I’ll say it again…what an asshole thing to do to a friend…I have not known Michael to be like this, so I’m wondering if he was abducted by aliens or something ? Or if my criticism of Rubin had been building up as some sort of anger towards me? I don't know.

I’ve said before that in Saudi many of us weren’t aware of the extent of how barbaric some of the punishments were - like of course we heard about public beheadings and those rumours circulated, they weren’t publicly discussed or acknowledged in detail because…as any idiot would know, life in Saudi Arabia is a heavily censored in many ways. One of the most censored and silenced topics is the violation of human rights in Saudi. This doesn’t mean I have no experience living under sharia, it means this is one of the effects of living under sharia ffs. Information is kept from you in an Orwellian way. #NotShariaEnough indeed. Where else do you live under fear of morality police, think sneaking around with alcohol (moonshine) as a teenager could lead to death or deportation, where else are you forced into black bags without your consent? Where else do you live life as a woman knowing you are a second class citizen. That if you are potentially raped, there is no real recourse. Where else could you  experience morality police canes? 

I once said this to a guy in very frustrating conversation, where not even this was as bad as sjws to him.   

which is presented by my critics as me saying all people who like or have been on Dave's show are fans of white supremacy and rape apologetics. Now if you actually read what I said, it says…”if you don’t have a problem with the promotion of those things” , clearly.. you’d be a Rubin fan… this is pretty self explanatory I think. But by now you’ve seen my critics aren’t very smart at all. Dave Rubin demonstrably promotes white genociders (a white supremacist conspiracy theory that builds fear about interracial 'breeding') and rape apologists unchallenged, laughed Mike Cernovich's rape apologetics off as 'Rattling Cages' ffs. This is one of the main criticisms against him. If thats fine with someone, or they are happy to look the other way because he serves some other agenda of crushing the evil SJWs who run the world…. then why would they NOT be a Dave Rubin fan? If you can overlook these things, yeah you'd be a Rubin fan. Im sure many people are Rubin fans just out of ignorance though, who aren't aware of the bigger picture or details of the kinds of people he's promoting, because he doesn't present these troubling guests accurately. In fact he presents them in the best light possible, as allies. But if you know, and don't find it to be a problem that's troubling. 

I hate that Dave Rubin talks to controversial people - No. I’d be fine with his exact same guest list if he simply challenged these guests on some of their disturbing views, or if he at least made his audience aware of why these people are controversial in the first place. Instead it’s a nodfest. This is very harmful, especially in this political climate. And has visibly made the atheist scene toxic and overlap hugely with infowars /alt-lite/alt-right audiences. I actually really enjoyed David Pakman's interview with Richard Spencer. He did what Rubin pretends to. 

I am somehow upset with Yasmine because she's more popular than me..haha. It certainly couldn't be that I decided I will no longer be silent about things I've observed about her, only *after* she contributed to negating my entire life story. Because those things might help to explain why she went after me like this. Also, last I checked I had quite a lot more followers, undoubtedly she'll get more if she goes the Rubin/Gad/Lalo route..but it hasn't happened just yet...so that too, is just false. I also said she was pandering to the soft right, not that she is right wing. 

Ok but with Brilliant arguments like this, they definitely got me here:  

Clearly this is a contest between Abu Bakr al Baghdadi and Dave Rubin. Because Jihadis will always be the worst, undoubtedly (and we come full circle from how this started with Fossa being angry 'I deflect from Islam')…I guess worrying about the rise of far right hate and extremism in the West where many of us critics of Islam live, is just silly and frivolous. Not like the US has stepped few decades back in the past months or anything. Nothing to see here. Promoting white genociders and anti-feminists should proceed as normal. 

Sadly this is the state of self proclaimed liberal twitter atheists, they resort to fox news tactics. And I'm not supposed to notice there's a problem. 

Why can’t I just pick a team and stfu with all this inconvenient in-group criticism. It’s tribal *not* to. Such a smeary cunt-monster cuck, Eiynah. And I bet you haven't learned your lesson yet, about staying silent on these things. I bet you think the resistance to this shows just how important this topic is to discuss. No ideas above scrutiny, freedom of speech, etc.

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How about now? Will you be quiet now? --- Nope. ----------------- Thanks to those who stuck by me during the smear campaign. Thanks to those who are real friends, and thanks to those who support my work. New Patrons and old. Much love to you all. If you'd like to support my work you can do so here

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