#today i will be. studying music theory i think

[vamptastic]

need to find more shit to do in chemistry instead of listening to my teachers godawful lecturing skills

[junhanndee]

three seats down - junhan <3

music theory was pretty boring, until somebody came and sat down three seats from you.

word count : 3,885

pairings : college boy! junhan x afab college student reader!

warnings : dorm room sex (kinda public? idk junhan has roommates but they aren’t home), tension, reader gets ate out, some nipple play, basics of sex, cumming inside, protection isn’t mentioned (pls be safe), andddd i think that’s all :)

it was another normal day, just another music theory class where timed seemed to only slowly pass by.

every week you watched as students come in and out due to the fact you were all burnt out college students. kids would come and stay for a few classes and then decide that music wasn’t really what they wanted to study or maybe it was just the super old professor that probably taught beethoven himself.

today seemed just slightly different as the start of a new semester had drawn in around twenty to thirty new students. one in particular catching your eye.

he was about 5’10 and super lanky, total dork. he wore a pair of ripped black denim jeans with an old ac/dc shirt. his longer black hair slightly covered with a beanie followed by the white glasses sitting atop his perfect nose bridge. also noticing his black backpack was slung over his right shoulder as he walked in and so coincidently sat down about three seats down from you.

he looked shy and quiet as he seemingly had questions about the lecture but couldn’t help but wait to ask the professor himself at the end of class to save some interruption or even self embarrassment in front of the fifty plus students in the class.

todays class seemed to go by just slightly faster than usual as you hadn’t noticed that you had been stealing every chance you had to eye the new boy up and down and up and down.

something about him was just so intriguing. you couldn’t quite pinpoint it but maybe it was the way his hair slightly covered his left eye or even the way he couldn’t stop his tongue from playing with his lip piercing the entire lecture. something about him was satisfying to your brain.

walking back to your dorm with no thoughts far from the new boy in your class you decided it would be best to just try and go back to your dorm where you could focus on your studies and not somebody whom you didn’t even know their name.

the walk back was actually calming. the way the breeze seethed through your hair and the crisp autumn leaves whirled in the air. you still couldn’t help but think about the mystery that had blown into your music theory class.

the next couple of days were honestly the most thrilling days you have had in quite sometime. getting up and doing your hair, even throwing on some makeup just to possibly get an eye bat from him towards you in class.

walking into the study hall you saw none the other than the quiet boy, totally not his name but by now, that’s what your brain had decided on since you couldn’t even form a sentence in front of him quite yet.

he was sitting adjacent to the books in a small little nook of the study hall. he had his back against a wall sitting crisscrossed with his laptop upon his legs.

you finally decided that of all days, today had to be the day. your one chance to get to know him just slightly better.

walking towards him you couldn’t help but hear your heart beating very loudly in fear of what might happen next

‘what if he ignores me’

‘what if he thinks i’m some weird stalker and doesn’t want to talk to me’

‘what if he has a girlfriend and she’s comes up behind me a bea-‘

your thoughts are cut off by a loud sigh from the quiet boy. quite unexpected actually as you had never witnessed this but by the way his bottom lip was wedged between his teeth and his brows were furrowed you could tell he was slightly confused.

so, an idea popped in your head as you slowly began to approach him.

“hey… so i’m not really the type to approach people, i just noticed you were in my music theory class and i wanted to introduce myself” you said while barely sighing after finally speaking to him after a few days of your small observations.

“oh! hello!” he said in the softest voice while his mouth formed a slight smile with his adorable bunny teeth.

“hi! my name is y/n! i hope i’m not bothering or anything” you said while beginning to fidget with your fingers

“oh no! no worries, would you like to join me actually? i’m working on our homework from yesterday and it’s just, well, a little hard.” he said while signaling for you to join him in the small corner of the study hall

“my names junhan by the way! i’m kind of new here, just from out of state so i honestly haven’t really talked to anybody yet” he said while he watched as you slowly sank down next to him and began to pull your laptop out of your backpack.

“ohhhh so you’re from out of town!” you say while opening up your laptop to pull up the screen with your now completed homework.

growing up you had mainly been raised with music. from the hours spent in band class to the hours spent on playing tests and studies, music theory was kind of a breeze to you so you were hopeful in the fact you could be of some help to newcomer junhan.

“yeah, i actually got a music scholarship here… i uh…” he says while stuttering and pushing his glass up to eyes, “i’ve played the guitar for a while now and decided i wanted to take that on as a lifestyle so… here we are!” he said while letting a small giggle roll right off of his lips

about a week or so ago you would have never guessed that you would be sitting next to the boy you couldn’t help but glance at every chance you got. getting to know him and finally getting the chance to talk to somebody new around your college who as well, had a music background.

as time went by and you both continued to talk about life and slowly watched as he opened up, you felt your mind come to a calming conclusion.

he was sweet and very honest. you could ask him almost anything and seemingly enough he would give you an honest response.

you learned a few things about junhan today as well. he’s very soft spoken, still really dorky, doesn’t have any friends on campus yet, total guitar nerd, has some killer song recommendations, and is super smart!

after that one day it was like you two were glued together. every music theory class you watched as he closed that three seat gap and started sitting next to you, giggling when the lecture got boring or even watching him find you just a bit more interesting.

after class would end it was typical for you two to go to the study hall and try to knock out the homework immediately so you both would have more time to spend together as the days felt shorter for some reason.

you got to show him around and even take him to some of your favorite places around the area. also introducing him to some of your friends so maybe he wouldn’t feel as lonely as he seemed to be, being new and all.

now, you both were sitting shoulder to shoulder in the same nook you first met him in, cracking jokes about your professor and how you both did wonder if he really did teach beethoven.

it was nice to have somebody understand you in such a short time. just within weeks it seemed like you and junhan had both found somebody you could be comfortable with a majority of the time and it served you both a break from the stress of being a college student during a new semester.

snapping you out of your thoughts junhan nudged you to talk to you about the storm that was coming and how you both should go study somewhere else.

“i mean, only if it’s cool with you, my roommates aren’t going to be in my dorm tonight. they are going to some party as usual…. party animals” he said as his roommates were actually the opposite of him.

they often went to parties and came back in the morning hungover and definitely not ready for the school day.

a smile crept upon your lips as a warmth rises through your body just thinking about how comfortable he was that he was inviting you to study in his own space. to you, that was more than meaningful.

on the way back to his dorm you stopped at the colleges little coffee shop as you both had your final music theory exam and had talked about studying for this for a few months now.

upon arrival to your dorm and talking about everything and anything possible he had you wait at the door while he cleaned up after his seriously messy roommate.

“sorry i should have made sure it was slightly cleaner than this…. can’t really control somebody like that but hey! he’s living his life and i’m happy for him” he says while inviting you into his dorm.

the beds sat across from each other with desks sat at the end of both beds. he had a picture of his family sitting on his desk with some spare guitar picks laying on his desk. his guitar was also sitting at the end of his desk on his stand

“is this your guitar??? holy shit” you say while admiring the six thousand plus dollar guitar sitting in front of you currently.

“yeah, that’s my baby” he said while bringing his arm behind his head to scratch at the back of his neck.

“well, she’s gorgeous!” you say while grabbing his roommates chair to sit on followed by junhan grabbing his backpack to get his laptop

followed by a sigh you both began to revise your notes and study

surprisingly, time had went by pretty fast and you both had hardly realized the time was nearing one in the morning

“uhhh jun…” you say while looking over at him, “it’s almost one in the morning… i should probably head back.”

“oh shit, i didn’t even realize…. let’s get you back to your dorm, i’ll walk you there” he said while helping you collect your things.

while picking up one of your books you both collided hands and you could have swore your heart jumped out of your chest and onto the desk.

clearing his throat and grabbing your computer to put in your bag, he turned around to grab his jacket and make his way for the door.

on your way to the door that leaded out you both came to the shocking realization that somewhere in-between the world of study and real life, snow had almost covered the door and there was absolutely no way you were getting back to your dorm.

“oh shit….” you said while realizing what was about to happen “uhhh well that’s funny! i didn’t think it would be this badddd” you said while nervously giggling and looking up at junhan

“well…” junhan said while pondering in between his words “i don’t mean this in a weird way but there’s no way you’re getting back to your dorm so your welcome to crash on my bed and i’ll just take my roommates bed. it’s really our only option here…” he said while slowly looking down at you.

“i really hate to impose and you know we can get into trouble right?? i’m not ever supposed to be here after ten…” you said while feeling slightly nervous.

“it’ll be okay, i promise. our dorm advisor is literally at that party too and i’m assuming all of those drunks got snowed in too…” he said while walking back down the hallway

following him your mind couldn’t help but flee from thought to thought.

‘sleeping… in the same room as HIM?’

‘i don’t have any pajamas with me oh god’

‘how am i supposed to go to class in the same clothes as yesterday’

walking back up the stairs you tried to convince yourself that this was just the way it had to be and you wouldn’t even be sleeping next to him so it was fine. who was even gonna notice that you were wearing the same clothes…. it really didn’t matter. your brain just couldn’t help from the thought in the back of your mind that it was finally time to make your move.

you weren’t dumb, you felt it just as much as junhan did. the way you both would say something cringe and look at each other with nothing but love in both of your eyes or the way when his skin brushed against your own it sent wave of electricity through both of your veins.

but, you lived in fear. all of those thoughts even from the first day you met couldn’t help fill your mind.

making your way back into your dorm you couldn’t help but think about how the one stuffed animal you had all the way throughout high school was now all snowed in at your own dorm.

“i know it’s probably not the best, but i have some extra sweatpants and a shirt you could wear just so you don’t have to sleep in your jeans….” junhan said while now holding out a pair of nicely folded clothes towards your body while he slightly looked at you for some sort of confirmation.

“aw jun… that’s sweet of you. i’ll take them!! where is the bathroom so i can go change?” you ask while grabbing the clothes from him.

“just down the hall and to your left!” he said while he turned to start making the beds down.

once you had made your way down the hall and changed you started to walk back to his room.

walking in you swore that your heart skipped a beat. there he was, wearing a pair of black sweat pants with an oversized hoodie and his glasses now off of his face.

“is something wrong y/n? you look startled” junhan said as you shook your brain from any intruding thought you were having

nodding your head he watched as you crawled into his bed and he turned the light off, leaving the dimly lit lamp on for a source of light in the middle of the night.

you both began to lay down as you could hear your heart beating through your ears at this point. it was all too much. the scent he had left on his pillows and the way his blanket felt so warm around you. it was borderline intoxicating.

you started to get slightly more comfortable grabbing a pillow and turning to face the wall.

as soon as you felt yourself drift into a dream you heard both of your phones go off.

assuming that it was nothing really you decided to turn your ringer off and roll back over but when you hear a noise come from junhan you turn back over to see a smile forming on his face.

“our final got pushed to next friday!!!” junhan said while getting up to hold his phone right in from of your face the brightness causing your nose to crinkle ever so slightly as your eyes focused on the notice posted by your professor on the school dashboard.

“oh my god are you KIDDING ME!!!” you said while pulling the blanket covering you over your head

“all that studying just for us to have more time…..” you said while signing in annoyance

you felt the weight shift on the bed as you peaked your head over the blanket to see junhan sitting on the edge of his bed.

“hey!! not for nothing! we got to spend time together and now we don’t have class tomorrow!” he said slightly giddy

“i mean you’re right, but what now… now we still have to worry about it for another week.” you said as harsh reality was hitting you faster than you wanted it to

“i mean that’s true but now we have a whole other week to build our confidence on the test….” junhan said while pondering on his words once more, ”and more time for us to spend together…” he said while looking over at you. causing a blush to creep upon your face you decided to sit up slightly.

“yeah and plus we can go over whatever we want, i’ve really got to take this as an opportunity” you say while brushing the hair out of your face now sitting right in front of junhan at the edge of the bed.

he looked up at you and no moment was more precious than this. half awake junhan with his lips slightly parted. the dimly lit room illuminating his face beautifully and the peaceful silence that filled the room.

within seconds you felt the weight shift once more on the bed and suddenly junhans lips were on yours.

the amount of fireworks you felt through your body couldn’t have ever compared to any other kiss you had previously experienced.

he slightly pulled back just to look at your face as he began to overthink.

“ah y/n i’m really sorry i shouldn’t-“ junhan started to say as you crawled into his lap and began to kiss him once again.

his hands instinctively running up and down your sides while continuing to make out with you just added to the wetness you felt between your legs.

as you made out with him you couldn’t help but feel him getting hard beneath you.

“are you okay with this?” he asked you while pulling back and holding his hands on the sides of your hips.

“more than okay junhan, please” you said while pulling him to be on top of you as he started kissing up and down your neck.

slight whimpers and moans began to roll off of your lips as he started to grab your boobs and kiss up and down your neck to your collarbones.

“can i….?” he asked while tugging at the hem of your shirt. with a nod he softly pulled your shirt off to reveal your harden nipples under the shirt he had given you.

while playing with one and taking the other between his lips he started to play with your boobs. he loved having you like this. moaning and whimpering under him.

he moved back up to your face as he trailed his hand down to your panties. he slowly went past your underwear to give your clit a few slow circles.

“mm please jun…. need you” you moaned out as he moved his hands slightly faster around your clit and continued to kiss all over your face and neck.

he started to move down your body pressing kisses to your tummy and removing the sweatpants he gave you followed by your underwear.

looking down at him, he was eye level with your soaking pussy and he looked up at you.

“so hot, and all for me” he moaned out before giving your clit a few kitten licks

he wrapped his lips around your clit while bringing his other hand down to enter a finger into your hole.

he watched as he continued to eat you out. the way your back arched and you clenched around him. just by the view of it, he slowly rutted into the bed below him while feeling you around him.

while he wrapped his lips around your clit and have it a few more harsh sucks, he felt as your breath hitched and you clenched around him.

“junhan please please i’m close” you whimpered out as he fingered you and licked up and down your pussy.

“that’s it, cum for me love” he said while giving you a few more pumps of his fingers

“fuck i’m i’m cumming jun please” was all that could leave your lips as you felt his plump lips wrapped around your clit.

he let you ride your high out on his face while you slowly tugged at his hair.

once you came off your high he came back up to you to give you a kiss as you tasted yourself on him and couldn’t help but whimper in satisfaction.

tugging at his shirt you urged for him to take his clothes off as well and he took the hint.

watching him stand up to pull his sweatpants down as his hard cock slightly hit his lower tummy you couldn’t do anything but whimper. wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of you.

he crawled back on top of you while he gave you some small pecks he reached down to play with your clit once more.

“are you sure? we don’t have to go this far unless you want.” he said while bringing his hands to both sides of your head

“junhan, i want you. please” was all you had to say before he looked down to align himself with you.

to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you, he slid in slowly to let himself bottom out as well.

“jun….” you said while looking up at him, “please move” you said while running your hands up and down his back

he started to slide in and out of you at a decent pace while bringing your legs to rest next to his thighs.

“mmm” he let out a slight sigh feeling how warm you felt around him.

he brought his hand down to your clit and started to rub little circles on you while picking up his pace slowly

“please that feels so good jun” you said while another high began to wash over you.

your clit still being sensitive from the orgasm you had before had caused this one to come slightly faster than usual.

he started to move faster in and out of you while continuing to play with your clit.

“fuckk i’m close y/n” he moaned out while bringing his body to cover yours as he kissed up and down your neck.

“mmm inside me please jun please i want it” you said while bringing your own hand down to play with your clit some more.

with a few stutters of his hips you could feel he was close and you were following right behind him.

“jun i’m gonna-“ you said followed by a moan as he whimpered in your ear.

once he filled you up and continued to fuck into you, you came not far after him.

he pulled out of you and started to put his sweatpants on while searching for some wipes to help you clean up.

he grabbed the baby wipes he had in his drawer and helped you get cleaned up while slipping his tee shirt back over your head and crawling back in bed next to you.

“do you know how long i’ve wanted to do that….” he said while bringing you into his embrace.

“no but i don’t think you know how long i’ve wanted to either…..”

“remember when i sat three seats down from you……?”

and with that you both giggled drifting off to sleep in his lanky arms that were wrapped around you.

the quiet boy, junhan, was now your mystery solved <3

- if you enjoyed this, don’t forget to leave a note or reblog if you’d like!

- my inbox is always open and i always love new anons! welcome to my blog 🩷

[winryrockbellwannabe]

winter break diaries - 24-26 december

hope everyone had nice holidays if you celebrate it!🎄🎁 mine were fun, on the 24th we always have family lunch with my mom's side of the family, which is always... eventful ahah, but it was enjoyable anyways. got to gossip with my cousins which is always great. on the 25th we stayed at home, i built this beautiful music box my sister gave to me, and destroyed her bf at chess hehe

now we're back to studying🦾 until saturday i'll be focusing on Management Processes - istg my degree wants me to become a finance bro instead of an engineer - and also the robot project. today i'll try to read at least 1/3 of the syllabus (since it's mostly theory i think i'll manage)

watching: Despicable Me 4 - it was so fun, i loved it reading: Balad of Songbirds and Snakes, by Suzanne Collins

[fanhackers]

Anne Kustritz’s Identity, Community, and Sexuality in Slash Fan Fiction

Anne Kustritz’s new book, Identity, Community, and Sexuality in Slash Fan Fiction: Pocket Publics has just been released by Routledge (2024).  You might know Kustritz, a scholar of fan cultures and transmedia storytelling, from her early essay “Slashing the Romance Narrative,” in the Journal of American Culture (2003) or maybe from some of her more recent work on transmedia and serial storytelling. But this new book is an exciting addition to the fan studies canon, and Fanhackers readers might be particularly interested, because the book “explores slash fan fiction communities during the pivotal years of the late 1990s and the early 2000s as the practice transitioned from print to digital circulation,”--which is the era that a lot of the fans involved in the creation of the OTW came from. As I noted in my book blurb, “​​While there has been an explosion of fan studies scholarship in the last two decades, we haven't had an ethnography of fan fiction communities since the early 1990s. Kustritz's Pocket Publics rectifies that, documenting the generation of slash fans who built much of fandom's infrastructure and many of its community spaces, both on and off the internet. This generation has had an outsized impact on contemporary fan cultures, and Kustritz shows how these fans created an alternative and subcultural public sphere: a world of their own.”

Kustritz doesn’t just analyze and contextualize fandom, she also describes her own experiences as a participant-observer, and these might resonate with a lot of fans (especially Fanhackers-reading fans!)  Early on in the book, Kustritz describes her how her own early interest in fandom blurred between the personal and the academic:

Because I began studying slash only a year after discovering fandom on-line, my interest has always been an intricate tangle of pleasure in the texts themselves, connection to brilliantly creative women, and fascination with intersections between fan activities and academic theory.  I may now disclaim my academic identity as an interdisciplinary scholar with concentrations in media anthropology and cultural studies and begin to pinpoint my fan identity as a bifictional multifandom media fan; however, I only gradually became aware of and personally invested in these categories as I grew into them.  This section defines the scope of the online observation period that preceded the active interview phase of this research.  In so doing it also examines the messy interconnections between my academic and fannish interests and identities. Trying to pick apart what portion of my choices derived from fannish pleasure and which from academic interest helps to identify the basic internal tensions and categories that slash fan fiction communities relied upon to define themselves, the pressures exerted upon these systems by the digital migration, and complications in academic translation of fannish social structures.

Later in the book, Kustritz discusses how fans have organized and advocated for themselves as a public; in particular, there’s a fascinating chapter about the ways in which fandom has adopted and transformed the figure of the pirate to forge new ways of thinking about copyright and authorship.  If the OTW was formed to argue that making fanworks is a legitimate activity, the figure of the pirate signifies a protest against the law and a refusal to be shamed by it: 

[F]ans also use the figure of the pirate to make arguments that validate some fan activities and consign others to illegitimacy.   At the urging of several friends involved with slash, I attended my first non-slash focused science fiction and fantasy convention in the summer of 2004.  The program schedule announced a Sunday morning panel discussion provocatively titled “Avast, Matey: The Ethics of Pirating Movies, Music, and Software” with the subheading “Computers today can distribute [more] intellectual property than ever before--not always legally. Is it ever okay to copy, download, and/or distribute media? Sorry, ladies, none of us will be dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.”  The panel’s subheading, which obliquely warned away both lusty women and pirates, led a small contingent of slash fans to shake off Saturday night’s convention revelries unreasonably early and implement a plan of their own for Sunday’s panel.  As many fan conventions encourage costumes, known as “cosplay,” one of my friends and research participants happened to have been dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean that weekend, so I entered the piracy panel with Captain Jack and a motley crew of slashers, some of them intent upon commandeering the discussion.

The clash that followed exemplifies a structural fault line between various types of fan communities regarding their shared norms and beliefs about copyright law, the relationship between fans and producers, and appropriate fan behavior.

If you want to find out how this clash played out–well, you’ll just have to read the book. 😀

–Francesca Coppa, Fanhackers volunteer

[chloesolace]

I Can See You - Stephen Strange x Reader [Christmas Special]

summary: You are a student of the mystic arts, studying at the Sanctum Sanctorum under Doctor Strange's and Wong's guidance. You are nearing the end of your apprenticeship, and ready to celebrate at the Kamar-Taj Christmas party, yet your growing attraction to Stephen makes it hard to focus on much else (not even those delicious roasted almonds you love so much). When you sprain your ankle, and Stephen is there to offer his aid, you realize that his cold demeanor towards you might not be because of negative feelings after all.

pairing: Stephen Strange x Apprentice!Reader

word count: 3k

warnings: age gap

a/n: Merry Christmas everyone! This is another contribution to my Swift series <3 and a Christmas special. My next one shots will be accepted requests.

Masterlist - Discord Server - Request Info - Taylor Swift Series

And we kept everything professional But something's changed, it's something I like They keep watchful eyes on us So it's best that we move fast and keep quiet

You were standing in the hallway of the Sanctum Sanctorum, a book in your hand. Quietly humming the tune you were listening to through your earbuds, you browsed the pages. The Sanctum was quiet, with Wong away on some business and Stephen having barricaded himself in his study. Most days were like this, so you had to find ways to entertain yourself when Stephen or Wong did not bother you with magical training. 

You were in the last year of your apprenticeship and could call yourself a master of the mystic arts as soon as next year was only one week away. You had been looking forward to spending this month with Christmas activities, but had been met with extra work given to you by your fellow sorcerers. Although you were their apprentice, you had become more of a friend who was magically similarly powerful to them already, just in a different way.

As a natural witch, you had a certain affinity towards magic, yet the mystic arts were not the type of magic that was inherited and so you had had to work your way up the ladder just like any other student of Kamar-Taj had. 

You hadn't been to Kamar-Taj in ages, so you were very excited about the Christmas party that would take place later today. You would see your friends from your first year at the temple again. It was extremely exciting to properly socialize since Stephen barely paid attention to you outside of his lectures and assignments, and you barely knew anyone from this city; you had grown up in a remote town far away from New York.

You put the book back where it belonged and left the living area to climb the large staircase that dominated the foyer. Its railing had been decorated with lights that glowed in even intervals. 

“(y/n)!” You heard someone shout your name behind you, so you stopped in your tracks and turned around, tapping on your left earbud once so the music would stop. 

Stephen stood in front of you with his arms crossed in front of his chest and an annoyed expression on his face.

“Have you finished your paper on interdimensional threat elimination yet? Wong said he’s still waiting for your email.”

“Of course,” you replied, taking the earbuds out and dropping them into your pocket. “I wanted to send it to him just now.” You wanted to say how unnecessary it was to give you one last assignment that was due on Christmas, and a theory one at that, but you bit your tongue and swallowed the thought.

He hummed a response, cold gaze lingering on you while he seemed to think about your answer. Without another word, Stephen then turned on his heel and left for the kitchen, leaving you standing on the staircase. 

You sighed and continued towards your room. The way he spoke with you lately was getting on your nerves, and you realized how he could sometimes not even look at you. It stung, wondering how his opinion of you could have dropped this much, especially in regards to the secret feelings you harbored for the sorcerer.

You closed the door behind you when you reached your room, trying to forget the encounter you had just had. Your room was moderately sized, with antique furniture and a large golden mirror next to your king-sized bed, neatly made with green velvet bedding. 

To get into the Christmas spirit, you had decorated your room a little with some lights and a wreath, whose four thick candles were each lit, enchanted so they wouldn't extinguish or transfer the flame to any flammable object. 

You approached your desk in front of your window, letting yourself sink into the office chair in front of it. You had a good view of the business of Bleecker Street, so you observed for just a moment longer. There were many cars today, and people dressed in thick jackets that kept them safe from the falling snow, carrying presents in large bags or underneath their arms.

You smiled softly as you opened your laptop and quickly sent Wong and Stephen the PDF document. Normally, you would have gone over it again but today you really did not have the nerve or the motivation to do so. Besides, you had been done with it for almost a week already. 

After placing your earbuds back inside their case and leaving them on your nightstand, you exited your room, heading down the hall to Stephen's study. It was the first room next to the stairs, and its door was typically closed. Today was no exception. You knocked carefully and pushed it open a bit.

“Yes?” Stephen said without looking up, keeping his eyes firmly on the book he held in his hands.

You opened the door further and leaned against the doorframe, studying your mentor with a raised eyebrow. Sometimes, you wondered if he used his excessive research as a coping mechanism, as there was no way a single person could be so intertwined with their work.

“I sent you the email,” you informed him, your eyes resting on the book in his hands. “And I was wondering when you would want to meet downstairs for the Christmas party at Kamar-Taj.”

Stephen sighed, placing the book back onto the shelf. He turned to face you, his expression unreadable.

"Right, the Christmas party," he said. "Wong mentioned it.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly, trying to read him, realizing that he had forgotten all about it until now. You sighed, averting your gaze for a moment.

“You don't plan to attend?”

“I do not. It would be irresponsible of me to leave the Sanctum unattended on Christmas.” He walked around his desk and let himself fall into his chair, turning his PC on with a click of his mouse.

“The last time you went to a party was the full moon one two years ago,” you reminded him, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

He was about to reply when he stopped for a second, looking at you perplexed. “You remember that?”

“Either way,” you continued, ignoring his question as you placed one hand on his mahogany desk, “Wong said he'd make sure someone would be there to take care of the Sanctum. So if you want to come along, he and I will meet in the foyer at seven.”

Stephen looked up at you while his fingers ghosted over the keyboard of his PC, but you didn't give him time to answer as you turned and left his study, closing the door behind you.

It took you some time to get ready, and music could be heard coming from your room throughout it all. You had opted for a short red dress that sparkled in the light of your room. It was dark outside when you were done, and you were very thankful for the time spell put on Kamar-Taj today so that time zones did not matter. You couldn't imagine getting ready like this at eight in the morning.

You put on your heels, and grabbed your coat and a clutch before you left your room, locking it with your magic. The cold New York air caused goosebumps to appear on your legs; a window must have been opened somewhere. 

You descended the stairs, gripping the railing to steady yourself in the heels you wore, careful not to trip. A smile appeared on your face as you spotted Wong standing at the foot of the stairs. He was dressed elegantly, yet not overly so for a simple Christmas party.

“Will Stephen not be joining us?” he asked, blinking at you while scanning the stairs behind you in search of the other man. You merely shrugged your shoulders in response.

Before you could reply, Stephen emerged from the Sanctum library to your right and joined the two of you. He wore a white shirt and a tie, his hands hidden inside the pockets of his black trousers. A red scarf hung around his shoulders, and you immediately recognized the cloak of levitation’s pattern in the fabric.

“And here I thought you'd be spending most of the evening studying a tome,” you teased, looking up at him to meet his eye.

“Well, this party can also be seen as a celebration of you becoming a master of the mystic arts. What kind of mentor would I be if I didn't celebrate that?”

Wong shook his head, extending his arms to create a portal in the middle of the Sanctum’s foyer. It came alive in a frame of sparks, glistening yellow and bright, reflecting in the gemstone you were wearing around your neck. It had no magic, yet it complemented your eyes.

“(y/n) is more of a friend than an apprentice, Stephen. To both of us. You should not see this as an obligation.”

You pursed your lips as the awkward silence that followed, but Wong had only said the words out loud that you had been thinking the entire past weeks.

Stephen did not reply and you could not bring yourself to meet his eye, so you only offered Wong a faint smile before stepping through the portal. 

All three of you exited the portal in the heart of Kamar-Taj, where ancient buildings adorned with mystical symbols rose against the darkening sky. A warm, magical glow enveloped the surroundings as you entered the main building, greeted by practitioners of the mystic arts who were adorned in elaborate robes, mingled beneath enchanted decorations that turned the air into a cascade of glittering snowflakes. The aroma of exotic spices drifted through the air, and you immediately felt your mouth water. 

You navigated through the lively crowd, and your face lit up when you spotted old friends and mentors from your time at the temple. You immediately engaged in conversation with them, Stephen and Wong joining you. Each of you took a drink from a nearby floating tray, clinking your glasses. Wong seemed to be feeling particularly sociable, but Stephen did not say much, his gaze occasionally landing on you or his wine glass.

“Please excuse me,” Stephen said after a while, leaning towards your little group so he could be heard better against the loud music and vibrant chatter around you.

When he turned to leave, he accidentally brushed his hand against yours in the process, causing you to freeze for a second and meet his gaze. His bright blue eyes held you captive, and you swore you could hear the music fade in the background. Before you could react in any way, however, Stephen had already cleared his throat and maneuvered around you, downing his drink.

You looked after him, lips slightly parted, before Roslyn, a girl who had started her magical studies around the same time as you, snapped you back into reality. “You good, (y/n)?”

“Um, yeah,” you replied, smiling a little awkwardly when you looked at Wong, who had a faint grin on his lips. “What?” you asked, almost snapped, but Wong only raised his arms in defense.

“I didn’t say anything.”

You cleared your throat again, offering the gathered a smile before excusing yourself as well. You found your way to the buffet outside with flushed cheeks, set up in a place usually used for training. The air was cool but not cold enough to make you shiver. You smiled at the faces that were familiar to you and muttered a few greetings when people approached you.

The buffet was large, but your focus lay on a bowl with roasted almonds, which you had always loved since you were a little child. You took a smaller bowl and a spoon and put some almonds in yours before leaving the training area, popping one deliciously sweet almond into your mouth. As you were about to climb the flight of stairs leading back up to the main building, a drunk boy, who couldn't have been older than sixteen, bumped into you.

You tried to regain your balance, but you stepped onto the stone floor wrong, causing your ankle to twist at an awkward angle. Hissing, you held your ankle as a sharp pain shot through your leg. Your bowl of almonds had shattered on the ground next to you, and you stoically twirled your hand, using witchcraft to make the pieces disappear. The mystic arts required too much concentration and handwork at times, and your innate magic often came in handy.

“Watch where you’re going, dude!” you shouted, but the boy had already left. He probably did not even realize what happened.

You attempted to walk, but each step hurt more than the other, so you took your heels off and limped into the building. Shoes dangling from your right hand, you used the other to hold onto pillars and walls to stabilize yourself, trying to find a quiet spot. At this time, the library would be empty, and it was not far either.

With the aid of magic, you opened the heavy library door and let it fall shut behind you, exhaling deeply as the loud noises were muffled by the door. Cursing, you slowly walked over to an armchair nearby and sat down on it. Your heels landed on the floor, your hands both massaging the hurting ankle. You barely even registered the books that surrounded you, some of which were bound by chains. Back when you were studying in Kamar-Taj, you had always wondered about their contents, but now you could only focus on the pain.

“(y/n)?” You heard Stephen ask, lifting your head to see him appear from behind a bookshelf, brow raised. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“Some drunkard ran into me, and I think I sprained my ankle.” You leaned back in your seat, sighing as you cursed yourself for never having shown much interest in healing magic.

Stephen put the book in his hands aside and approached you. “Let me see,” he said calmly as he crouched down in front of you and lifted your ankle with his hands. You hissed at the sudden contact, the pain intensifying for a second. You sometimes forgot that he had been a surgeon before a sorcerer, so you watched as his skillful hands felt for any severe injury, occasionally causing you to wince in pain.

“It’s sprained,” he agreed, not waiting for a response. His hands began to glow in a faint yellow light, the healing warmth instantly relieving your stressed joint. As Stephen slowly worked on your ankle, your eyes locked. His hand traced gentle circles on your skin, and you weren’t sure whether this was required for the spell, but you did not protest, even finding yourself closing your eyes in response to his touch.

“You have a knack for finding trouble. I don’t think that’s ever going to change, is it?” He asked, a smile playing on his lips as you opened your eyes to meet his.

“A sprained ankle is hardly trouble, compared to the other things you had to keep up with these past two years,” you said, chuckling softly. He did not reply.

The pain ceased, and Stephen let go of your ankle. He rested his arm on his knee as you studied the injury, realizing that he had healed it completely.

“Thanks,” you said a little shyly, which even surprised you.

Not wanting the situation to turn into an awkward silence, you stood from your seat, causing him to do the same.

You were about to turn and leave, lips parted to say goodbye, when you noticed him staring at something above you. You followed his eyes and blushed deeply as you saw mistletoe floating in the air between you, surrounded by a golden shimmer.

Swallowing, you looked back at him, blushing deeper as you asked, “Are you doing this?”

You felt stupid because of how hopeful your voice sounded; it was hard to deny you liked him, but he had always been rather cold towards you, which was why you were so glad that Wong had always been so nice to you. If he only knew the way you saw him, you were sure he’d never speak to you again.

Stephen looked from the mistletoe to you, shaking his head slowly. “No, I'm not.”

Realizing that this must be some joke one of the other sorcerers was playing on you, you quickly excused yourself and apologized, turning to leave when his hand on your wrist stopped you.

You turned to look at him, your eyes wide in surprise.

“I didn't say you have to leave,” he whispered, his eyes briefly dropping to your lips. It was hard to breathe when you watched him inch closer towards you, giving you enough time to back away if you wanted to.

He raised his hand to touch your cheek gently, brushing some strands of hair out of your face before burying his fingers in your waves. Something had changed in the way he looked at you, and now that you thought about it, it had changed a while ago already. Precisely around the time he had started acting colder towards you.

Stephen was so close now that you could see the small dark speckle in his blue eyes, something you had never really noticed before. You held your breath as you saw him pull away, conflict written all over his face.

It was your turn to hold onto his wrist, making him look at you. You didn’t know what encouraged you to press your lips against his, but as it happened, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him close. You felt him tense against you; he had not anticipated your boldness, but soon he melted into the kiss, holding you by the small of your back.

As you pulled away, you smiled up at him, only to realize that the mistletoe had disappeared, but Stephen placed a hand on your cheek and directed your gaze back to him.

“Merry Christmas, (y/n),” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. You saw how your red lipstick had stained his own lips. With a small smile, Stephen leaned in again, capturing your lips in another lingering kiss. The soft glow of your magic enveloped you both, creating an aura of enchantment in the quiet corner of the mystical library. It was in involuntary response to his touch; emotions guiding sorcery. As he pulled away, he met your gaze, and there was a newfound warmth in his eyes, a spark of something unspoken yet profound. 

I can see you in your suit and your necktie Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight" Then we kissed and you know I won't ever tell

[bengiyo]

Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect

Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.

Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.

People Like Getting Their Flowers

If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.

Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:

It’s a Conversation

I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.

I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.

I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.

I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).

We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.

I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.

I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.

I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.

I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.

Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.

Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.

In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.

I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:

Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every

Isn’t It Just More Fun?

I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.

I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.

This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.

I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.

If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

[babyseraphim]

Hi Nimm! I'm thinking about your pianist Edwin today, and I was wondering, what do you think are/were his favorite pieces to play? What do you think was the first "real" piece he learned? (like, the first one that wasn't a little 8-measure thing out of a piano learner's book) (mine was "White Christmas", because I caught my teacher off-guard by being able to read music and also it was November, lol)

Hi Kana!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this, I've been busy working on my writing projects. Brain fog is getting the best of me today though, which means I can't work on my WIPs, but I still want to write something. So, let's get into it!

So, let's start with the first thing that he likely would've learned to play! In my headcanons, Edwin started out as a classical pianist very young, and learning piano back then wasn't like it is now. Nowadays, a lot of kids start with Faber Piano Adventure books, or something similar, but I don't think stuff like that existed back then.

In all likelihood, Edwin would have started the Hanon vitruoso piano exercises and/or the Burgmüller Op. 100 "25 Études faciles et progressives" (25 Easy and Progressive Studies), depending on how quickly he picked up the instrument. Both are designed to help beginner/early intermediate students build sight reading skills, agility, finger strength, and fingering skills. Based on that theory, Edwin's first 'real piece' would have been La Candeur, which is the first piece in Burgmüller's Op. 100. Kind of a boring answer, I know, but realistic.

When it comes to his favorite pieces to play, though, I would say it probably depends on the period of his musical timeline. If we're talking his favorite to play as a classical pianist, then I'm gonna go with something by Erik Satie (because I really do think Edwin just would've been such a Satie stan). There's the Gymnopedies and the Gnosiennes, of course, but I think Edwin would have also really enjoyed playing the Piéces Froides (published in 1912) due to them just being very musically strange (barless notation with no time or key sig, and all-around melodic weirdness).

I do also think Edwin would have enjoyed playing Debussy's Clair de Lune, despite it being a complete 180 from Piéces Froides, musically speaking. Clair de Lune was published when Edwin would have been 5, and was one of the most popular compositions of his time (and of present day, for that matter).

However, if we're talking about my headcanon of him transitioning into playing ragtime piano as he got older, I have a two answers. I think there are two artists he would have enjoyed: Scott Joplin and James Scott. Both were extremely famous ragtime pianists of the time, and there's a few songs from each that I think would be right up Edwin's alley.

For Scott Joplin, I think Edwin would have really enjoyed playing the Sugar Cane Rag, and the Fig Leaf Rag. As for James Scott, I think he would have enjoyed playing the Frog Legs Rag the most.

Thanks for asking! I always love talking about this stuff.

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.12.07] Kyodo News - Yuzuru Hanyu Full Comments After the Premiere of "Echoes of Life"

"I was able to welcome my 30s in a different way than when I thought, '30, I'm an old man.'" From now on, my experience, senses, and techniques will finally reach their peak. I can still do more." Yuzuru Hanyu's full comments after the premiere of "Echoes of Life"

Yuzuru Hanyu - Full Comments After the Premiere of "Echoes of Life" December 7, 2024, Saitama Super Arena

--------------------------------------------------------------------

(Hanyu-san appears in the interview area, saying, "Thank you for your time!" The interview with about 40 reporters begins.)

--Thank you for your hard work. "Thank you very much."

--How do you feel after the first performance? "The strongest feeling I have is that it finally started. I was really nervous, and of course, I spent a lot of time training and practicing every day. However, once it was time for the performance, I realized there were aspects I couldn’t understand until I skated in front of everyone, like whether it was a success or failure. Honestly, it’s a feeling of, 'Finally, it’s begun,' and I’m just happy that the first day went well, without injury, and that the story was able to be completed."

--This performance, "Echoes of Life," was created with the theme of life. Could you share your thoughts on that? "From a young age, I’ve always thought a lot about bioethics and, during my time at university, I studied philosophy about life and became deeply interested in it. I’ve been pondering these thoughts and theories for a long time, and after studying them again, I wanted to create a performance where everyone, through this world, could find their own answers and philosophy on what it means to live. That's why I wrote 'Echoes.'"

--Once again, happy birthday! "Thank you very much."

--There were a lot of fans singing happy birthday and holding banners. How did it feel to celebrate your 30th birthday surrounded by such scenes? "It was a feeling of 'Wow, I’m turning 30' (laughs). Now that I’m 30, I thought, 'Oh, I’m 30,' but when I think about the 30s I imagined when I was younger, compared to how I feel physically and mentally now, it’s completely different from what I had imagined. I feel like I can still do a lot. In 'Echoes,' there’s this theme of the future and the past, but I believe the future will turn out to be even better than I imagined, and by doing my best in the present, I can reach a 30s that is different from the 'old man' version I thought of back then."

--Could you share your goals for your 30s? "Honestly, I had this vague image that, in terms of figure skating, I might start deteriorating. But if I think about it in terms of sports like baseball or soccer, I believe that now is the time when my experience, senses, and techniques will start to peak. So, I want to approach my future with hope, always believing that I’ll seize the opportunities that come my way, while continuing to practice, train, and face performances with that mindset."

--The idea of turning words into sound was fascinating. How did that come to you? "Originally, I have always experienced things like colors or emotions transforming into sound. To put it simply, for example, some people might associate the color red with passion, while others might associate it with fear. It's up to individual interpretation, but for me, I have always heard those things as sounds from a young age. It's not that I have perfect pitch, but I felt like I heard things in a melodic way. Based on these personal experiences, and while thinking about what kind of abilities to give a character in a fictional story, I considered the intonations and meanings of words that I practice as part of my training, and I incorporated them into the narrative. The overall philosophy enters the body as sound, and that philosophy becomes music, which ultimately forms the program. This is how I came up with the concept for the story."

--In today’s story, there were many lines that made me want to write them down. I know it’s hard to pick just one, but could you choose one and share your thoughts on it? "I really revisited many philosophical books related to life, including books from the professors I studied with in university. I read through them and continued writing. One thing I learned while reading various philosophy books is about destiny, and how it is a series of coincidences. It’s really fragile, and you wonder, 'Why did all these coincidences connect?' I believe everyone has their own kind of destiny. And when people look back at their lives or feel that they are currently experiencing their own destiny, I want them to feel the joy of encountering something so rare—something like a miracle. That’s one of the messages I wanted to express in this writing."

--There were many new costumes this time. What do you think about the costumes for the Ice Story series? Which costume do you have the strongest attachment to? "I think it's probably the Nova costume (the main character he played in the show). Until now, I had never linked the costume in the video with the actual performance costume, so honestly, it was quite difficult to wear clothes that could be considered fashion on the ice. But the Nova costume, for the character of Nova, I have a strong attachment to. This time, we worked with people who have always specialized in figure skating costumes, as well as some new participants who hadn't made figure skating costumes before. We made many different designs and arrangements. There are costumes that are quite different from past shows like 'RE PRAY,' 'GIFT,' and 'Prologue.' So, this Ice Story is a little different in character, and I want people to feel the unique fabric textures and the non-figure skating-like costumes that you can only see in 'Echoes.'"

--There were many cinematic-style visuals used in this production. How long did the filming take? Also, did you originally want to challenge yourself with acting in front of a screen? "Ah, I see. First, regarding the second question, I have actually appeared in a movie before, and I did some acting, but honestly, I realized that I’m not suited for it. So, I don’t have any particular desire to act in movies. However, when it came to portraying the character of Nova, I didn’t feel any discomfort. After all, it’s a story I wrote, and the character is one that I can completely immerse myself in, so I felt that I needed to perform that character. As for the filming, it took about three days. We filmed for a full two days, then half a day, and then another half day. Also, I had to do some narration recording, which took another two days, so it was a lot of work."

(Staff members signal that it’s the last question.)

--About the music: You used classical, folk, and modern music, and it all came together perfectly as a single piece. Could you share your thoughts on the selection and expression of the music? "Thank you. Since 'RE PRAY' had a more game-like style, I wanted to try something more classical while making the new program. Since the theme of this show is philosophy, I selected more piano melodies and songs that have a dignified feeling. Within that, I thought about where I wanted to portray a battle, where the core of the story should be, and where I wanted to use the words directly, among other things. So, I really put a lot of thought into the music selection. The hardest part for me this time was probably the fifth piece—the continuous piano section that leads into 'Ballade No. 1.' I’ve never done this before: performing for about 30 seconds at a time, continuously without leaving the stage. I worked closely with Shinya Kiyozuka, studying classical music, and we discussed how to convey the meaning while performing. I also asked Jeffrey Buttle to choreograph it, and Jeff and I really calculated a lot of things like, "I want to skate to this image," and created a program that's 10 minutes long."

"Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate it. (As he’s leaving) Ah, I’m tired. I’m kind of wobbling (laughs)."

--It was a different take on "Danny Boy" this time.

"That's true, there are also war scenes, so I think Danny really stood out. Thank you. I look forward to seeing you again!"

Source: https://digital.kyodonews.jp/deepedge/comment/87490/

[shou-jpeg]

-Back on the Beat-

Part 4. 04

Porchay can’t stop looking at Kim. 

Kim is sitting at the piano in the studio, humming tune Chay sent him earlier and adapting it for piano. 

He looks so beautiful. 

Kim looks amazing even on his worst days, but right now he’s ethereal; in his element and with a soft flush to his cheeks, as if he knows Chay is staring at him. 

He probably does know, Kim is observant and Chay isn’t being very subtle. 

Though... he’s been trying to flirt with Kim for two weeks now and Kim seems to let every attempt fly over his head. Chay would think he was being intentionally obtuse to let him know that he wasn’t interested, except Kim is the one who told Chay he wanted to try again. So Chay isn’t too sure what to think. 

Does Kim just have some sort of flirting detection force field? 

Maybe he’s just shy? Chay had thought that Kim was shy last time he tried this - maybe that was true. 

Chay wonders if he should just ask Kim out point blank and save them both the trouble. He did tell Kim that he would let him know when he was ready to try again, Kim might be waiting for something a little more specific. 

He wants to know if Boyfriend-Kim is also shy.

“I think this part would make a good prelude, and then the lyrics come in later over the top and the music builds from there, maybe a drum track and a bass to add depth.” Chay snaps back to the moment at the sound of Kim’s voice. 

Right. The song. 

The one they’re now composing together. 

Co-writing. 

Co-writing for a new WiK single, because Kim got inspired by what Chay had sent him and then asked him in the car on the way here if he wanted to help him make it into something real.

Chay dreamt of exactly this on a regular basis back when he was just a fan, except it means so much more to him now. 

“It should be soft though. The drum beat should be slow but steady, like a heartbeat, and the bass will then support that same energy.” Chay picks up his pencil and begins scribbling down dot points as he talks.

“What kind of song are we writing here? We should probably decide on a theme to help guide the composition.”

“Definitely a love song.” Chay says with confidence. Kim looks at him. “I’m imagining a love song, but for a person that the singer already knows. They’ve been in love before and then were torn apart and didn't see each other for a long time. And the song is about them finding each other again and rediscovering their love for each other.”

Chay really isn’t being subtle. 

Kim looks back to the piano, expression open and vulnerable. "In that case... perhaps the beat can pick up pace a little towards the bridge, to reflect the subject's emotions as he begins getting closer to his ex again." Kim says, and then begins talking about measures and other technical terms Chay isn’t that familiar with, since he’s never actually studied music theory. 

He loves watching Kim talk about music though. 

Chay is almost doodling hearts in his notebook. 

He considers his pen for a moment. Then draws two hearts in his notebook anyway, because it’s cute and he likes being a romantic.

They stay at the studio composing late into the night, until Porsche messages Chay telling him he missed dinner, and that Nok, the bodyguard assigned to him today, needs to finish his shift and also have dinner. 

Chay makes Kim order enough food at the drive through on the way back to feed both of them and also Nok, who reacts like Chay’s given him something a lot nicer than cheap take out. 

“I’m never allowed to eat stuff like this anymore!”

Chay makes a note to sneak his guards junk food more often. 

The rest of the drive back is quiet but not uncomfortable. Chay selects different songs to play over the car’s bluetooth and glances at Kim each time the song changes to gauge his reaction. 

They pull up to the compound and Chay hops out of the car. “Should we go back to the studio again tomorrow, P'Kim?”

Kim looks down at his phone, bringing up his calendar. “I have a meeting tomorrow morning until 10am. How about I pick you up for lunch and we go to the studio after?”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you tomorrow.” Goodnight, phi. Kim smiles at him softly and Chay tries not to melt. 

He closes the car door instead. Kim’s smiles are only slightly less devastating through tinted glass.

He waves goodbye as Kim pulls away and heads inside. It’s late, but he might stay up a little longer and play some video games, or to make some memes for Kim. He kind of wants to keep working on the song, but he doesn’t want to do any more without Kim around. 

It’s their song now.

Chay smiles to himself. 

He can’t wait until tomorrow. 

---------------------------------------

Chay takes a deep breath, determined.

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[nomeniko]

hi :D for the ask game What do you wish more people understood about kazui? Which trial 2 MV do you enjoy the most, and why?

thank you for the ask i would grovel at ur feet in gratitude i hope the sun shines down and makes the light dance for u and you only today

1. if anything ive seen a few theories of kazui possibly revealing himself to be a two faced manipulator of sorts due to his self proclaimed liarness…. like ‘ohh u cant trust what he says he cld be trying to make himself look pitiable to the audience to get voted inno’ sort of theories which is. no he wont do that???

is he a liar? to a degree yes—liar not in the sense that what he says are direct falsities, but more like hes built much of his character to constantly disguise his true intentions/feelings as a defense mechanism. the lies he says are less of words from a schemer and more of redirections from someone who is, all in all, an insecure adult scared of what will happen if he isnt able to meet peoples expectations of him

as much as he calls himself a liar hes mad honest about where he thinks his capabilities lie, which is to say he doesnt believe in his capabilities at all lol. when amane asks him for help with her studies, he turns her down after some consideration bc he doesnt believe himself to be smart enough to help (despite having graduated from a university; sports degree or not credit shld be given where credit is due). when he talks to shidou post ktk attack, he refuses to admit doing any of the work in taking care of the situation and instead puts all the praise onto shidou. even his physical strength and skill (which is arguably the one part of him he does acknowledge and take some sort of belief in) is something he treats as less of something that he has achieved himself and more of an obligation of his—like, hes strong bc to him he HAS to be, bc it is expected of him to protect those who need protecting. he does want to protect others, sure, but much of that wanting comes frm how ingrained it is in him that thats what hes good for, thats what his strength is for (his timeline w/ yuno on her bday says as much nyway)

the way i see it, that self deprication of his plays back into his obsession with meeting the expectations placed onto him, or at least lessening the disappointment of others by lessening those expectations in the first place. if u tell someone that u didnt go to the right university, that u didnt do much to help anyway, that u were born so fundamentally wrong as a person that everything is bound to go to shit as long as ur there (he basically said this to es in his t1 vd im not even kidding), wouldnt that ensure the safety that youre less likely to ruin someone elses confidence in you? less likely to ruin bc in the small chance that u still fuck up, theres not much left to ruin at that point

in the end ig what i wish more ppl understood abt kazui is that hes a liar yes, but not a manipulator. he lies to stay safe, not to be a sadist or whatever. you cant take what he says at face value (in much the same way u cant do the same for any other prisoner tbh), but that does not mean u shldnt take anything he says srsly at all!!!

2. ok this one i have to give a bit of thought, mostly bc i cant pick just one

if the standards were which t2 mv do i enjoy for its direction music n visual wise, purge march takes the cake so quickly. the music itself is so bomb (which like, i cant even find a logical explanation as to why… its just so good to listen to) n the mv itself does such a great job at creating the right atmosphere, both in its flashy theatrics and the subtle uncanniness under it. mayb i have a slight bias bc tpm was the whole reason i got into milgram in the first place, but i stand by it idccc

aesthetic wise, def all knowing and all agony. the horror elements r genuinely disturbing, but not so overbearing that it overwrites the pop style that milgram has going on. i luove the use of amber for blood, plus the filters that remind me of found footage u usually see show up in asian horror movies. i think i was actually terrified the first time i watched the mv

symbolic wise, its cat always and forever god bless. it takes advantage of its aesthetics to hint at subtle secrets so well that it makes me giddy as hell. the use of colors as a part of the set, the transitions frm scene to scene having its own part in making the story, n honestly making the bg more blank than usual readjusts the focus of the mv on what matters p well. i cant mention every detail rn or else id be here all day

[raven-the-claw]

A Complete Guide To Chaotic Academia

bc its my fav aesthetic and there is not enough content about it

Outfits

most people say that chaotic academia is just dark academia but a little bit more messy, and, well, chaotic. the truth is, chaotic academia is A LOT more messy than dark academia. you can still use dark academia as kind of a "base", but you are going to replace your blazers with flannels, your turtlenecks with tshirts. as for pants, you can go with litteraly anything: cigarette pants, tailored trousers, ripped-up jeans or normal black leggings. i personally really ike ripped up overalls bc they give that "i dont really give a damn, im so misunderstood, my parents didnt love me, im a crazy lonely introverted teenage child" vibe...idk. whatever you wear, make sure you feel comfortable in it! even tho in chaotic academia there are almost no rules at all, here are some things that might help you!

colours: any earthy tones are fine, brown, caramel, dark green, dark red, white, etc etc

fictional characters that might inspire you:

-remus lupin

- any dpc character

- jess mariano

- sydney novak

accesories: flannels (a personal fav + they make even the most boring fit look better), cardigans, converse (bonus points if you draw/write on them or if you have them laced in a weird way), bracelets or necklaces that mean something to you, harry potter back packs, tote bags...

hairstyles: whatever you want, just make sure your hair is ALWAYS messy, looking like you just fucking woke up

Activities and Traits

ok now we're getting to the actually important part bc (repeat after me): chaotic academia is not about how you look, its about how you live and how you act. so here r some thing that might help:

- annotating books with the most unhinged random thoughts

- learning poetry or speeches word for word but not remembering most of the things for school

- studying in the (school) library and being besties with the librarian (optional)

- leaving notes (on trees, mailboxes or library books) for strangers to find

- "studying while listening to classical music" and then instead of studying you end up agressivly mouthing your favorite song

- im sure yall already heard this one, but yes, swearing and slag while discussing deep academic topics is incredibly important

- speaking of important topics: posting something important on social media knowing no one will read it

- doodles on your hands 24/7 (NO SUSAN, I DONT GIVE A DAMN THAT ITS BAD FOR MY SKIN)

- sarcasm. a lot.

- random thoughts

- random quotes

- knowing a ton of conspiracy theories that you dont even beileve in by heart

- listening to all different types of podcasts

- one day reading the classics, the next ya fantasy and day after that ao3 smut

- multifandom, multishipper

- tea/coffee addiction

- adding b.c. to todays date when writing it in school

- random thoughts and the weirdest annotations in your school notebooks, especially the classes that you find boring

- "going to the bathroom" and then spending half of your math class drawing/reading/smoking/crying/thinking/whatever the fuck you wanna do there bc ur tired of everything

- stealing random stuff from stores (tho it is not encouraged blah blah blah)

- watching gilmore girls every fall

- telling people ur favorite colour is green even tho it isnt just to let them know that ur gay

- reading in class, on breaks, at home, parks, meetings, aethletic events, and generally all the fucking time

- doing (mostly) everything last minute

- bad at photography, but you enjoy it

- cold tea my beloved

- wearing one item every day: it can either be a necklace, a flannel, a bracelet, a badge, headphones, earrings etc etc

- extremely messy handwriting, always writing with black pen

- crying at least once a day, but only when ur alone, being super emotional but never showing it

- hobbies include reading, screaming in your pillow, learning unique languages that you will probably never use, rewatching dead poets society, harry potter, enola holmes, end of the fucking world and gilmore girls

- massive bookworm, reads all the time, always has a book with them

- skipping class, not that often tho

- 💫anger issues💫

- hyperactive and lazy at the same time

- uses big words but makes fun of other people when they do it

- writes (rebellious) book quotes everywhere, every single one of their notebooks had IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US written in them lol

- random useless powerpoints

- analysing taylor swift's folklore and evermore instead of sheakspeare because its just better

- retired almost-emo, had a phase when they wore black and acted all mysterious but were never really emo i cant explain it

- likes mcr. this one speaks for itself.

- gay and sad. no explanation needed.

Books, Movies and Music

Books:

- Harry Potter by you know who (WE DONT SUPPORT HER THO)

- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

- Night School by CJ Daugherty (is that how u spell it lol)

- The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

- Emma by Jane Austen

- Hamlet by Do I Really Need To Say Who

- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

- The Picture of Dorain Gray by Oscar Wilde

- Frankenstein by Marry Shelley

Movies/TV Shows

- end of the fucking world

- heartstopper

- harry potter

- enola holmes

- dead poets society

- gilmore girls

- httyd (no kidding lol)

im not really a film girlie so if yall have any recs please lmk

Music:

- Mother Mother

- Taylor Swift (obviously)

- Lana Del Slay

- Conan Gray

- Olivia Rodrigo

- My Chemical Romance

- Lovejoy

- Bowie

- Queen

- Radiohead

- Björk

- Those random Disney songs i know you scream to at 3am

also whoever sings the IMJUSTATEENAGEDIRTBAGBAABBYY song

here is my playlist if yall wanna listen to it

hope that helps lol

[profnic]

Today, on Trans Day of Remembrance, an anti-trans speaker came to my campus.

Students have protested these speakers in the past, but given the election (and the weather), the pro-LGBT groups decided not to focus on protests. Instead, they held a party with live music and speakers. One of my students invited me to speak, and while we ran out of time before I could, I wanted to post my speech here.

"I teach sociology. The class I teach most frequently is social problems. In that class, I teach about the racism in our society, the poverty, the sexism, the anti-lgbt sentiments. With all this bad in the world, what room is there for joy?

When [student who invited me] brought this event to my attention last week, I tried to think about what I could talk about. I could draw upon my lectures. Cite studies and statistics about trans mental health and the effect of bathroom bills. Perhaps go more in-depth with theory and talk about how anti-trans rhetoric is based around the medicalization of sex and a culture based on white supremacy.

Then I was told this was to be about Trans Joy. What do I know about joy? I teach about societal problems. This Friday my class will discuss LGBT oppression by the government and political institutions. How can I talk about joy?

So I asked myself, what is joy? I know what happiness is. Despite my own mental health issues as a nonbinary trans person - and graduate student - I have indeed felt happiness. But what about joy? With the increasing hardship and stigmatization that trans people will face in the coming years - what joy is there?

Then today I had an optometrist appointment at a new location. And when the aide called for me using my legal name she took looked at me and asked if I had a preferred name. 

“Yes - Nic.” 

Then she and the doctor used Nic the whole time…and he/him pronouns, so there was a small misunderstanding. But with this, I realized that I wasn't happy that they asked. There was no burst of serotonin or instant smile on my face, but I could choose to be happy. I could choose joy.

Joy that this aide and doctor treated me without issue, and took a name change in stride even with the pronoun fumble.

Joy is choosing happiness, despite of the hardship and pushback. My joy as a transperson is that misunderstanding yet honest attempt at inclusion from doctors in a red state on the red side of a college town.

My joy comes from my students. My joy is students asking openly in class on the first day how I like to be addressed. It is most students defaulting to Mx in emails when they don’t use professor. Because no matter how often we talk about social problems, the systemic ills,  and all the bad in the world they always ask: but how can we fix it? 

And that brings me joy. Joy as hope for the future, even in the darkest times. Joy not just despite the hardship and sorrow but to spite it."

[theramblingsofadork]

📘 Starpoint Squad AU Fanfic: Deciding On A Team Name

It’s been about a week into the competition. Up until now, Starline and the others haven’t been able to decide on a team name because the group have been at such conflicting odds with each other, thanks to Starline’s failed attempts to control everything.

They’ve been ruthlessly teased for it too by another team who are shaping up to be their immediate rivals. “Not much of a team if you can’t even decide on a name! HA HA!”

So after Starline talks with Rivet and Charge and changes his tactics to allow everyone to be involved, they finally mellow out enough to come together and decide on something.

—

Mood Music: World Trigger - 31/40

“As you all know, today’s the last day to submit our team name,” Starline told the group huddled around in a comfortable circle, with some standing, and some sitting on the couches and chairs. He himself had chosen to stand.

“I realize we got off to a rough start. Simply put… this last week has been a disaster. But now that we’re all somewhat on the same page, we need to figure something out now.”

Starline then pressed his fingers together and glanced around. “So—in order to show my good will and that I’m serious about listening to what you all have to say, I have… decided to open up the floor to whatever suggestions you may have.”

There was a tangible pause as the group weighed the sincerity of his words, debating who was going to test that theory and speak up first.

Surprisingly, Hex was the one to take first crack at it, raising his gloved hand into the air.

Starline nodded to him. “Yes, Hex?”

“Um.. How about ‘Misfits?’” The small purple rat suggested, dropping his arm and dangling it with his other one over the back of the rolling chair he was occupying. “Y’know, because we’re all kind of a band of misfits working together?”

“Yeah, I guess that would make sense,” Rivet agreed, pointing to herself, then to her brother who was lounging next to her on the couch. “I mean, Charge and grew up in an isolated village without any technology—“ She then pointed across the circle to Cello. “Cello’s a hardcore scientist in a family of strict miners, Starline does multiple fields of study, Hex is a kid genius who could probably outcode the sun if he wanted to, and Lug—“

The lavender cat paused, as if suddenly realizing the bulldog didn’t really have anything noteworthy about himself to speak of. “…Well, Lug is Lug!”

Starline sighed as he crossed his arms, rubbing the bridge of his bill. Not… off to a great start.. “We are not going with Misfits,” he stated firmly. “A team name is supposed to inspire confidence, not make us sound as if we have no idea what we’re doing.” He shook his head haughtily.

“Well, how about ‘Intellects’ then?” Cello suggested next, her deadpanned expression unwavering as she adjusted her round, large framed glasses. “To show that we’re the opposite?”

“That’s too obvious though,” Charge pointed out with a groan, resting his arm over the back of the couch with his other pressed under his chin. His yellow ears flicked to the side. “Not to mention it kinda makes us sound like a bunch of know-it-alls. Not really a good look.”

The firefly crossed her arms and grumpily glowered over at the lounging cat. “Well then, do YOU have any better ideas?” Cello pointedly asked him.

Charge hummed and debated for a moment, then stated, “…Well, how about ‘The Hex Squad’? Y’know, because there’s six of us—a hex bolt has six points—and we’re primarily working on constructing robots and such?”

“I’ll confess that is a clever... utilization of that word…” Starline started, slightly impressed he had come up with that on the fly. “But I think the problem with that one should be fairly obvious.”

“Oh?” Charge glanced over at him.

Hex cleared his throat as he rose his hand again.

“…Oh, right—“ The cat acknowledged, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “Guess we shouldn’t use the name of one of our teammates, huh?”

“I mean, it’s not that I wouldn’t mind my nickname being part of the team name,” Hex started, rubbing the back of his visor-clad head. “Honestly, I’d be kind of flattered really… But if we go with that, then everyone might think I’m the leader.” He shuddered in cold fear. “And I don’t think I could deal with the stress of that…”

“Yeah, you have a point there,” Charge agreed before hiding his mouth in the crook of his scarf. “I just thought it might make us seem cool and clever.”

The cat then blinked and side glanced at Rivet. “How about you, sis? You’re good at coming up with names. Got anything cooking up in that nogin of yours?”

“Mmm.. sorry to say it, but no, not really,“ Rivet stated as she crossed her arms and shifted her weight to the other hip. “Most of the ones I thought of were already taken by the other groups early on. And it’s kind of hard to encompass so many people with so many different talents under one name.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “Honestly, the best I’ve got at this moment would be something like ‘Team Vision’ or ‘Team Innovation’.”

The group grumbled and collectively deflated with a sigh.

“I mean, yeah, those would technically work, but they are pretty bland and generic…” Hex stated with a weak chuckle.

“Which is precisely why I didn’t bring them up...”

Starline rubbed his face as each of their ideas came up short. This was shaping up to be a bigger disappointment than the platypus had originally hoped. After all their insistance to be involved and work as a team, he had hoped they might be able to surprise him a bit and prove they were deserving of the voice he was giving to them. But so far, things were playing out just the way he thought they would.

The platypus huffed a bit, deciding it best to take control again. “Well then… unless you all can come up with something respectably appropriate by this evening, then I’m afraid we’ll have no choice but to fall back on the name that I chose earlier.”

“Oh please no,” Hex groaned, putting his face into his hands. “Not that one.”

“Yeah, can’t say I’m exactly thrilled about being called ‘Dr. Starline and his Minions’ either,” Charge admitted with an unamused frown.

Starline scoffed and stuck his bill in the air. “It is a perfectly acceptable name!”

“Yeah, for you maybe!!” Cello ground her teeth together like a dog ready to chomp on his head. “I don’t much appreciate being called a ‘minion’. And if Hex can’t have his name be part of the team one, then why can you? Like? Ego much?”

Starline blanched and glowered over at the firefly. “We’ve been over this already, Cello!” He argued, clenching a fist in annoyance. “I can do whatever I please because I AM the leader!”

As the two began to bicker back and forth, Rivet sighed loudly. “Aaand, there they go again… Honestly, you think they’d get tired of fighting after a while...”

“What do you expect? They’re both very opinionated people. Of course they’re gonna clash.” Charge stated before looking at her. “I mean, you remember how much we fought, right?”

“Oh yes..” Rivet nodded.

“Starline does have a point though. None of our ideas are really working, and we’re almost out of time.”

“You’re right… If only we hadn’t spent so much time squabbling amongst each other this last week…” Rivet grumbled, rubbing the back of her head.

Hex made a thoughtful noise, then glanced over to the bulldog sitting wide stanced in the couch chair besides him, twiddling his big gloved thumbs. “…Lug? What about you? You’ve been pretty quiet this whole time. You got any ideas?”

“Huh?” Lug glanced over at his best friend, before shrugging his shoulders at being addressed. “Oh, well, I mean—I do have one, but it’s probably not that good.”

“Aha—dear boy, I don’t think it can be any worse than anything we’ve heard already,” Starline scoffed, breaking off from listening to Cello’s flaming remarks and earning a dirty look from her and the others in the process.

Lug debated that silently for a moment, then his ears perked as he decided to just shoot his shot. “Well then, how about… ‘Starpoint’?”

The air of the group suddenly shifted as tensions dropped and everyone looked to him with complete confusion.

“‘Starpoint’?” Rivet echoed, tilting her head a bit in interest and bewilderment.

“Yeah!” The bulldog looked around at the collective group. “I mean— we are all here to prove something, right? To show that… we’re something more than what they say we are?”

Hex and Charge’s eyes widened.

“That we can be better versions of ourselves, and make a real difference?”

Rivet and Cello exchanged a thoughtful glance.

‘We’re gonna ‘reach for the stars’? Fulfill our goals and all that stuff?”

Starline blinked bc made an impressed noise.

Lug held out his hands like he had just told the punchline to a joke and was awaiting the audience’s response. “Ehh? Makes sense, right?”

“Starpoint..” Starline murmured thoughtfully, putting a hand to his bill in earnest contemplation as the platypus suddenly found himself genuinely surprised by the depth and insightfulness of that name.

How shocking for it to be coming from their arguably dumbest member as well.

“Hmm.. It does have a nice ring to it,” Rivet spoke up after a moment of thinking as well.

“Not too haughty or degrading…” Cello added as she also put a hand on her chin. “It fits our group dynamics pretty well too...”

“And it sounds cool!” Charge nodded. “I think it’s perfect.”

“Yeah?” Lug sat up straighter as his grin grew even wider. Almost like he didn’t expect them to like it.

“Yes..” Starline wagged a finger through the air as he weighed this new option, before glancing across to Lug with a rather impressed grin. “I do believe you might be onto something there, Lug. Well done!” A genuine compliment he did not expect to be giving.

“So, if sour face over there is behind it too, does this mean we’re going with it, or not?” Cello asked, ignoring Starline’s sharp, withering glare as her eyes darting from person to person, trying to judge the vibe of the room.

“Why not?” Rivet asked, shifting her weight to the other side. “Beats the other option by a mile.”

Starline grumbled, feeling his pride take two severe hits, like a flaming arrow to the heart. But the self proclaimed doctor quickly moved past it and cleared his throat to give an approving nod as well, despite his disbelief that he was doing so. “I suppose it does encapsulate our shared goals quite well... and if everyone’s in agreement with it, then I see no problem with us being the ‘Starpoint Team’.”

“SQUAD!” Hex suddenly exclaimed, his eyes suddenly lighting up. “Let’s be the ‘Starpoint Squad’, like how Charge suggested instead!!” He practically leapt up onto his seat cushion with a sudden zeal. “I JUST realized that if we do that, we’ll be JUST like my favorite heroes from Hero Mania: Mega Battle Robots VII! A team of powerful warriors using their combined skills to protect the world and make it a better place! Haha!”

“Ahah..” Starline hesitated, feeling a dip of reluctance to let that change slip through. He had already approved of Lug’s idea. Not to mention ‘Team’ sounded much more put together and professional than ‘Squad’ did. “Hex… we aren’t in a video game—“ he started to say. But the kid was too eager to let him finish.

“Awwww come on, please???” Hex put his hands together and gave the platypus his best puppy dog look.

Lug was immediately ready to back his best friend up, giving a big ole, sad frown as he pushed to the rat’s side as if to showcase him like a used car salesman. “Aww, I know you’re a big grump an’ all, Starline, but you wouldn’t say no to a face like this, ✨ would you? ✨”

“Yes, I would,” Starline said without skipping a beat, and Lug bristled like a cat being thrown into water. “WOW—SO COLD!!”

Charge chuckled at their back and forth before leaning forward on his knees to glance over at Starline. “Ah come on Doc, let the kid have his fun,” he said chidingly. “You know it won’t hurt anything in the long run.”

Starline grumbled beneath his breath, suddenly feeling very bullied from all sides. Hex certainly wasn’t going to let this go, was he? And was it really worth his time and effort to argue with them on this? Especially when they were already so far behind schedule as is?

“Don’t lose sight of your goal. You’re doing this to gain Eggman’s attention…” he begrudgingly reminded himself, pressing a hand to his well-maintained bangs.

The platypus finally sighed loudly and waved a hand through the air with a dramatic reluctance as he conceeded. “…Very well, fine! If you so insist, ‘Starpoint Squad’ it is.”

“YES!!” Hex exclaimed excitedly as he quite literally jumped out of his seat in joy, and Starline couldn’t help but huff a bit and shake his head.

“See? I knew it,” Rivet’s voice caused him to look up again, just in time to see the rider smirk as she gently shoulder bumped him. “You do have a heart in there.”

Scoffing, Starline rolled his eyes as he straightened his blazer. “It has nothing to do with having a heart,” he stated as he watched Lug hoist the excited, giggling rat into the air and spin him around. “Your brother is right. At the end of the day, the work we complete will be ultimately what matters.”

“Mmm.. sure, okay. Whatever you say, Doc.” Rivet hummed thoughtful. She didn’t sound like she believed a word of it.

“It’s simply strategy,” Starline thought to himself, dismissing her words. “Nothing more.”

Still… watching the laughing Hex, he did have to admit.. The boy’s energy over such a small thing was contagious.

The platypus smiled. Just a little bit.

He supposed he could deal with allowing this change.

[quietblueriver]

15 questions for 15 friends

Tagged by @gingerniiiija. Thanks, friend! This was super fun.

Were you named after anyone? I was. In good Southern (US) fashion, I have a double name that incorporates my grandmother's maiden name, which was also my mom's middle name and is now one of my niece's names.

When was the last time you cried? Today. I took one of my dogs to board at the same time that a pup was coming for their last vet visit and watching him surrounded by his crying family while an instrumental version of a Brandi Carlile song played over the vet speakers broke me. Managed to keep it together until I got to the car. Before that, Thursday during Critical Role.

Do you have kids? I do not. I do have wonderful nieces, and being their aunt is one of the best things in my life.

What sports have you played/do you play? I played church basketball and soccer when I was little. As an adult, I've played rugby but I tend toward activities like running, yoga, swimming, and hiking/wandering with my dogs.

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, in a dry humor way. My entire family is dry as hell, so it's a big part of my sense of humor, although I rein it in with strangers so as not to be a tool. I'm typically called a golden retriever gay, but one of the highest compliments I have ever received was one of my oldest friends telling me that Sister Michael from Derry Girls reminded her of me.

First thing you notice about people? I genuinely don't think I have a pattern here. Voice, maybe? Or smile? I do often appreciate and take note of people's style as well, especially shoes.

What is your eye color? Green

Scary movies or happy endings? Whichever has the better queer storyline

Any talents? I come in clutch in the following trivia categories: pop culture (non-reality tv); 90s country music/modern women of country; name that song; US history and politics and/or law; and queer things. Per my nieces, I am very good at the "funny faces" feature on FaceTime, a solid water slide escort, and an acceptable makeshift jungle gym. I have been told that I'm an excellent driver; I enjoy driving and have driven both a passenger van and a U-Haul up most of the East Coast of the US.

Where were you born? A military base in the United States.

What are your hobbies? I love writing, feeding/spending easy time with friends, reading (preference for fiction, poetry, and comics, although I do love some philosophy and theory as well), exploring good food and new places (solo or with friends, my own city or others), live music and theater, playing board games and Switch, watching tv and movies (my oldest niece and I see a movie every time I visit them in person and it brings me great joy), and being silly with my nieces. I'm a lawyer and a law nerd, so I also spend time following SCOTUS and listening to legal/political podcasts.

Do you have any pets? Two dogs, Annie and Buffy, a big doofy retriever mix and a tiny poodle-ish terror respectively.

How tall are you? 5' 8"

Favorite subject in school? Growing up, English/Lit, closely followed by History. At university, I majored in History and Gender & Sexuality Studies.

Dream Job? Obligatory note that I do not dream of labor. But I'm actually currently working on a career shift, so I'm giving this a lot of thought. I'd love to be a writer, journalist, professor, or preacher (last one is more complicated, for probably obvious reasons).

Would love to see answers from anyone who wants to do this! Tagging @korralone, @kasadilla11, @antlereed, and @overnighttosunflowers. Pls forgive me/disregard if you hate this, ha.

[urlocalwormtoday]

Subjects, Faceless and Voiceless ARG Analysis

ELLOELLO ‼️‼️ you might've heard a friend of mine started an ARG, and so, tis the time to analyze everything we've gotten so far >:D

BEYOND THIS LINE INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR MY FRIEND @honeyzee312 's REALLY COOL ARG ON YT ‼️‼️

real quick disclaimer, I do have confirmation on some of my theories and small pieces of trivia bc at the time of initial analyzing I was chilling with zee irl TvT

ANYHOW;;; here's the pieces I have so far

Miscellaneous (not a video/common knowledge) :

- that hot pink color (we see it during the first video, Stars, at timestamp 0:28) is important

- the videos of the ARG are all mixedmatched at different times, so not all of them occur one after the other

- it all takes place sometime between 2015 and 2024

- there's an odd glitchiness that appears whenever we change scenes or somebody gets hurt

- soneone hit and killed somebody with a car in 2015, that's why that year is so important

Stars :

- Purple first appears

- Pink color and static for the first time

- Red first appears

- Blue first appears

- We learn Blue's name is Kayebee

- Red asks if Blue/Kayebee remembers something, to which they respond they do

There's not a whole lotta lore in this one I don't think, but I have been told to look deeper. The phrase 'lose the stars' is interesting and quite ominous :o

Liar :

- Teal first appears

- Teal is calling somebody ('he' pronoun) a liar as Blue/Kayebee narrates

- Pink and static again, scene changes

- Splotches of pink in the background of the next scene ? (I have gained confirmation that pink will not be a subject/character in the future so that's been ruled out)

- More pink, it fills up the entire screen but only ever when purple is talking and disappears when Red's dialogue appears

- I've received confirmation that there's three separate scenes; first one with Teal and Blue, second with Purple and Red, third with Red and Teal

- Purple asks if Red hates them, Red doesn't know

- Teal begins saying a name to Red in the next scene, 'Koki-' before getting cut off

- The two both call each other liars but never deny the accusations that either of them are liars

This one's interesting.. The scene switches confused me for a bit, but overall just raises more questions

Sorry :

- Scene begins with a conversation between Teal and Blue

- Teal asks if 'he' is okay and Blue asks Teal to define okay

- Teal says sorry a lot 0-0

- 'He doesn't forgive you!' from Blue to Teal

There's not a whole lot in this one that I can see either, but as I write this it has reminded me to check the descriptions more often

Trees :

- I've received confirmation trees aren't symbolic of anything, they're just pretty and something to be adored lol

- Blue, Red, and Purple chilling

- Red insults Purple, Purple hits Red, then static

Okay this one's just pretty and chill 🥹

6/8 :

- Title is a reference to a measure of music, and is a reference to Le Cygnus I've been told

- Blue and Red open up a scene

- Red is extra tired today :o

- Blue wants to show Red a song, static fills the screen as we switch scenes

- Purple is trying to calm Teal

- Static, we switch scenes

- Lilac first appears :DD

Lilac !!!!! Lilac intrigues me like a bug intrigues a scientist.. I wanna put them under a microscope and study them

Rain :

- 'on that night..' the night of the vehicular manslaughter, I'm assuming

- Static appears, switch scenes

- Green first appears!! welcome, world, to my handwriting >:]

- Red is either concussed or the rain gives them headaches

- The show begins being mentioned, and apparently Lilac wasn't tipped in on what it's about

- Blue, Green, Lilac, and Red all watch the show together

- Static, scene swap

- 'oh. my. god' from Purple, supposedly something bad

Oughh Green also intrigues me (partially because they have my handwriting lmao),, I wanna see more of them

The Show! :

- Blue begins narration

- Static, we return to Teal and Purple, Teal is panicking. Maybe the show was a news broadcast of some kind ?

- Teal apparently tipped off the cops, and told them 'they' (they as in plural, two or more) were nonviolent; I assume this is referring to the vehicular manslaughter TvT

- Static, we return to the bigger group

- Lilac is asking where 'she' is

- Green tells Lilac 'she' ran

- Lilac maybe didn't watch the show ??

- Static

- Red has a high fever, blue picks them up :,]

The plural 'them' is very interesting, I wonder if we'll ever get to meet them. It's been so long since I've had to pick apart a puzzle like this before I didn't realize how much I missed it lol

I most definitely haven't put together everything yet, but I eagerly await new material (no pressure btw Zee !! dw if u start running outta steam, it happens to the best of us lol) to put under my brain microscope :0

[lonewolfel]

Queer Theory: Epic Athena

This will only include what we know of Athena in the concept albums of Epic: The Musical while I may bring up some aspects of mythology I will not be using them to form my arguments (sorry Pallas/Athena shippers not today). Why am I doing this? Well I was reading some psychology on lesbianism for my feminist literature class and a couple of things in an article made me think of Athena. I'm done with my homework so you all get to suffer. No idea if this makes sense as I am on three hours of sleep and my cat keeps biting my feet, I guess enjoy under the cut.

So that we are clear on what Queer Theory is I am going to give you a definition that I will be working with.

"Queer Theory - an approach to literary and cultural study that rejects traditional categories of gender and sexuality" (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/queer%20theory). This definition is a very simple overview of a complex theory but for my purpose it will work fine. I will also be using sex to refer to someone's biological sex.

Ancient Greece was a patriarchal society. They had bride-prices/dowries, division of labor based on sex, men being head of the household, etc. there are moments were this is seen such as "Time to be the man of the house" (The Challenge) and all the men going to war with no women and Penelope's weaving which was done only by women. In The Odyssey in fact Penelope is weaving Laertes' funeral shroud as she is the last female relative of Laertes; Ctimene Odysseus's sister isn't mentioned as she might be a later edition but she would also have been placed under Eurylochus's family after their marriage which is in Same so she would no longer count as being under Laertes's house meaning that she wouldn't have been in a character in The Odyssey if she was around at the time. Olympus while not nearly as patriarchal as the mortal realm due to examples such as Athena being favored over Ares it still had aspects. Male gods weren't punished for their crimes against women and goddesses that were majorly respected often were virgins.

At the beginning of the musical Athena seems to have rejected "femininity" as a way to survive. She is a war god which is considered "masculine". Despite Athena being the goddess of weaving she is never actually depicted as doing that domain or it being one of her domains. When she introduces herself she sings "Goddess of wisdom, master of war/My life has one mission, create the greatest warrior" (Warrior of the Mind). She also seems to reject emotions as she says "Have you forgotten to turn off your heart?" (Warrior of the Mind) besides rage which she depicts as being in My Goodbye. Emotions that lead to vulnerability or as Athena called them heart is considered feminine as they are considered submissive emotions that are supposedly related to poor emotional regulation which females are often believed to have. Rage and competitive spirits are often to be considered to be masculine emotions as they lead to dominance with. She also doesn't exhibit any nurturing or maternal traits towards Odysseus despite how long she has been mentoring him. She berates him and orders him around and doesn't care about his mental state.

However, that all flips once we arrive to the Wisdom Saga. Athena shows regrets "Maybe if I'd made a different call/Maybe if I hadn't missed it all" (We'll be Fine) and other emotions that she hadn't displayed previously. She behaves in a softer manner asking Telemachus if he needs help and calling him a good kid. She empathizes with Odysseus and goes about understanding his actions something she failed to do previously. These are often considered to be "feminine". However this doesn't mean that she discarded her "masculine" traits. She shows dominance at the end of God Games by demanding Zeus free Odysseus. However, due to the fact Olympus is a patriarchal society and Zeus is the king she is struck down due to her being a threat to Zeus's power.

At the end in I Can't Help But Wonder we see Athena seems to have a more nurturing role as she seeks to nurture empathy. However, she doesn't lose her death aspect. She is still a war goddess and she even helped Telemachus kill the suitors. This makes sense as women often had an association for death in multiple cultures such as Persephone in Greek Mythology, Hel in Norse Mythology, Banshees in Celtic Mythology, and so on. In this moment she takes the role as nurturer and bringer of death.

Like most women Athena is defined by her relationship to a man. In this case it is Odysseus. However, instead of being a wife or sister or a daughter she is instead Odysseus's mentor. This places Athena in a position of power over Odysseus. It can also be assumed that Odysseus at some point looked up to her. This is different as female characters are often placed at lower levels in term of social hierarchy. With Telemachus she is a friend and while she gives him aid twice that would place them on equal footing.

Athena also defies the idea of romance in regard to women. Women are often considered to be more romantic and have marriage being the end goal due to many social, economic, and political reasons. Athena though remains single and is difficult to ship. The only characters she interacted with were Odysseus who we all want him to return to Penelope, Telemachus who she held as a baby which makes shipping more uncomfortable, and her family which she won't get shipped with for obvious reasons. While there is some shipping her with characters in this fandom and I am not saying that it is a bad thing to ship her with other characters I am merely pointing out that it more difficult than other characters. I headcannon her as aroace though I know some have made her a lesbian and others still ship her with Odysseus I am not saying those are bad I am merely pointing out that the story is set up so there are reasons she isn't in a relationship. Though I hate the fact she needs excuses to not be in a relationship.

There is also an aspect of female and male platonic relationship that is often lacking. In many media there is boy meets girl and they end up together which isn't the case for Athena and Odysseus/Telemachus. There is no jealousy on the female side with Odysseus. Penelope never expresses any jealousy towards Athena for her relationship with Odysseus. Athena for her part is accepting of Odysseus relationship with Penelope as at the end of I Can't Help But Wonder she says very well after Odysseus denies her offer to being a warrior of the mind and says that he needs to see Penelope. In most other media Athena and Penelope would likely compete for Odysseus's attention however they don't showing a level of respect between the two women despite the fact they never interact in the musical.

Tell me what you think. I was going to include quotes but I'm too lazy to grab my books and articles I may go back and do that over the weekend. For now I'm tired.