#today I’m late as fuck because I decided to write a little fanfic lol

[dailycaligura]

Draw Caligura eating a hamburger /j

How dare you!!! It’s the world without murica, so no burger. Only that Italian sandwich I found, Wikipedia says it’s called panini lol.

Day 44. Eating panini.

I’m suck at drawing food sorry.

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 3: Love So Soft

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 5K

Chapter 4: Fixed

You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.

Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.

At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.

You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.

As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.

You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.

So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.

Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.  

You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.

Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.

Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.

With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.

“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.

“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”

“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”

You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.

The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.

Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.

Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.

“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.

“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”

“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.

He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.

Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?

Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.

‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.

You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”

Well look who just read your mind.

You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-

“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?

You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.

“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”

The fucking audacity.

“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”

As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.

You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.

You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.

You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.

Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.

You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.

The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.

As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.  

This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.

As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.

You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.

“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.

As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.

Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.

You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”

Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.

“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.

“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.

Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.

Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.

Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.

The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.

People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.

You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.  

“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”

Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.

“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.

You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.

“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”

Posh word for threats.

“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”

As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.

“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.

“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”

“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.

“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”

This fucker knew. Of course, he did!

You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-

“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.

You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.

“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.

“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”

“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.

“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.

For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.

You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”

We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?

Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.

“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.

“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.

“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”

Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.

You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.

As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.

It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.

“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.

“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”

The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.

He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.

“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.

Oh no, not the right direction to take.

You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.

“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.

“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”

Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.

“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.

“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?  

You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.

He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.

Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.

“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.

His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.

“Steve, please no, you don’t-”

His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.

You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.

“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.

His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.

“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”

“Steve, I beg you-”

Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.

His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.

Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.

His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.

It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.

The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.

Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.

He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.

He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.

“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.

As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.

There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.  

[ultrahamilham]

You tagged me in a thing and I had a stroke, bless you

I get all Pikachu meme whenever I see you in my dash and you've referred to me and acknowledged my existence because it is literally the best thing ever, I have a mini stroke every time

Three ships: Jamilton, Jamilams and Jamilmads (would've said lams but then it just sounds like I'm saying the same ship in three different ways lol)

Last song: Uhh, I don't listen to music much, but Ultimately by Khai dreams

Last movie: The Hunchback of Notre dame

Currently craving: Sushi, oddly enough (I haven't had it in about nine years but still, want)

Currently reading: The Da Vinci code, and about five different fanfictions

About a very late answer to your question (My family has COVID, which is shocking to hear, or so I'm told, but they're recovering and they fortunately had a mild case and no one has any history of disease so they're going to be okay! That's what the doctor said and I'm praying), Taco hell made me laugh really hard when I read it and really lifted my spirits because I remember being in not a great place when I started it but it made me smile which was like, a thing for me, and don't judge me but I think The three way was probably my favourite and I don't want to think about what that says about me but it was really because I love works that are that long (around 50k is always my sweet spot). I'm not sure if I'm remembering right and I'm so so sorry if I'm getting the title song wrong but that one Jamilton fic with uh, Gucci and fendi in the title was really fun to read ;-;

I also remeber the first work of yours I ever read was this comfort Whamilton around 1.5 or 2k where it starts raining and Alexander is on edge but George comforts him- Okay, I'm ranting now, apologies. ;-; (idk You're super cool and I want to talk to you like, normally, but you'll hateee me and I don't want that and so here)

I never really get a chance to respond as soon as I'd like, BUT I never get to and if you don't want to know/care about my life- please skip to the next paragraph thank you. So, I did end up watching Snowpiercer! I watched all ten episodes in one day which is iffy to say the least, but I'm still alive! I did love it. And I've been alright- a bit anxious with everything, but I've been giving my tests and uni and stuff. Yesterday, I was about to go to the vet when u realised about two minutes into the ride that I forgot my dog so that was embarrassing. Almost competing with the time I dropped my phone and then followed it, dropping to my knees and immediately bursting into tears (Nothing even happened to my phone!). So if you read this, thank you again.

I wanted to ask how you were doing too! If you don't mind xxx

And as for the fanfic writer asks, would you mind answering 50 ;-;

Wgjfvqkcwkh also I heard about you and Henni getting married so CONGRATULATIONS that is the most amazing, sweetest thing and in honestly so f*cking happy for both of you. I audibly awwed when I saw that post and I can't believe I just remembered.

I'm so sorry this got out of hand with how long it is, I didn't mean for it to be ;-;

-shy anon, sincerely apologising for possibly ruining your day by oversharing and/or overstepping (also with love and congratulations for you and her)

I get the surprised pikachu face whenever you show up in my ask box ;-; It always makes me happy!!!

Okay but sushi is always good. The craving comes randomly for me as well. I didn’t crave it at all when I used to make it for a living, because I got so tired of it, but now I crave it every once in a while lol it’s really good ;-;

I really hope everyone is doing okay! COVID is scary and it’s no joke. Having it before was horrible for me and I would never wish it on anyone. I hope everyone including you is okay ;-;

I’m glad Taco Hell did what I was meaning for it to do! It’s meant to be lighthearted and make people laugh. It’s based off of my life and it’s actual situations I end up in all the time. It’s quite amusing lol

I would never judge you. The Three Way is literally the one fic I am most proud of. I could never judge you. I literally go back and read it every once in a while and go like “I made that... Holy fuck...”

Oh! Gucci Not Fendi is the title. I’m glad you liked it!!!

Rant all you want! I adore that Whamilton fic ;-;

Seriously, my dear, I can promise you that I won’t hate you at all. Believe me, I really won’t. I’m probably the most awkward and annoying person anyone will ever know and I overshare like everything. People know more about me than they really should.. Lol

I care about your life, I was the one that asked you to tell me! But honestly, snowpiercer was soooo good... Like I tried to binge it all in one day but I was trying to write as well and it didn’t go over well lmao, snowpiercer ended up winning! I’m really glad you watched it!!!

That whole forgetting your dog thing is a mood. Today I forgot to turn on the food heaters and I realized it right before it was too late. Almost lost $200 worth of meat... Oops... Lmao

I do that with my phone if I drop it even if it’s okay. I just freak the fuck out and cry before I know if there really is an issue

Also I’m doing good! I decided to just lay back and relax tonight so I’m having a few drinks and I’m gonna watch random shit lol I was up for 33 hours the night before last and slept for 15 hours after. I can’t recommend doing that, especially not when you’re like 24. I’m too old for that shit.

Hell yeah I can do 50! I will give you a sneak peak at the 3rd part of the three way... .-. It will be posted on Oct 19th!!!

Here it is. This is seriously NSFW lol:

Alexander looked down at Thomas and ran the fingers of his free hand through Thomas' hair. He licked his lips as he watched Thomas work his tongue expertly inside George. "You're such a good boy Thomas, you're already wrecking him." He purred. 

Thomas let out a low moan and kept up the work, getting a little more aggressive. Alexander could feel himself getting hard in his pants at the sight coupled with George's shameless moans. Alexander looked back at George's face and grinned a bit. "Are you proud of us, Daddy?" He asked. 

George pressed his forehead against the headrest and panted as Thomas wrecked him. He tried to push back against Thomas to no avail. "Fuck… Y-yes… Yes you two did so good… Please… Please do as you wish… Whatever you choose, do it… I will take whatever you give me, you de-deserve it…" George bit out desperately.

Alexander grinned in delight at that. He looked at Thomas who looked just as excited from what George just said. He then touched Thomas' shoulder. "Alright, that's enough babe. I'm going to stretch him, then we can give him a good spanking. Why don't you undress for me? I have a little treat for you." He purred.  -END of the preview.

Thank you so much! We are so freaking happy that it’s happening. We were planning it more today! It’s so amazing ugh.

I appreciate it all the same! It’s not too long for me at all!! Don’t you worry my dear <3 you didn’t overstep at all!

[brightblueinky]

Long winded ramblings about a Bronycon video

So I’ve seen some hubbub about a YouTube essay going over the history of the Brony fandom up until the last Bronycon. (You can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fVOF2PiHnc ) I just got around to watching it today and I was...somewhat confused by some of the stronger negative takes I was seeing floating around Twitter, and I’ve been in a “fandom discourse” mood lately so, hey, I thought...why not talk about it. The first part of this was originally going to be a Twitter thread until I realized Twitter wasn’t going to let me keep going on the thread so I gave up and decided to put it here instead (lol) so it’s probably going to be a bit choppy since I was trying to keep it readable for that format.

So first of all, my background, so I can be completely honest about where I'm coming from and try not to portray what I'm saying as like...an end-all-be-all take here, because I don't wanna do that. I was never really an MLP fan. I watched the first season of FiM and really enjoyed it, but I didn't really engage with the fandom because by that point I'd gotten to where I didn't spend much time in huge fandoms. So I can't come at this from the perspective of an MLP fan. When I’m addressing the fandom here, I’m coming at it as an outsider in the sense that I am not a MLP fan/brony. What I AM going to do is come at this from the perspective of something of a "native" to fandom. I've always been a geek. I've engaged in online fandom in some form or another since I was about 8, which was in the mid 90s. I've been around the fandom block. Actually, I can even say that I used to lurk on 4chan a lot and I saw a lot of the early Brony discussions there. I also watch @JennyENicholson's videos, and yeah, there's been times where I've been bugged because we had a disagreement of opinions and felt like it was a little harsh. She's got a dry sense of humor and sometimes it's hard to read when she's joking and when she's being genuine. So like, I wasn't surprised when I saw some hubbub from some people online about her doing the video about Bronies. Not at all. But I gotta say...I am really surprised by some of the more INTENSE takes on the video after watching it?? The LARGE majority of the video is @JennyENicholson covering this fandom from an INSIDER'S perspective. She was an MLP fan before FiM, she was active enough in the fandom to be a BNF. A huge, huge amount of the video is positive and nostalgic. In fact I now wish I HAD been in the fandom! It seems like it was a lot of fun! The only thing I felt was maybe harsh in the video is I think she gave the impression that being "furry" is exclusively a sex thing, but by the end she talks about furries being a community that's a very inclusive, kind community with a lot of queer people, so even then I think if you're really paying attention to the whole video you're not going to come away with the idea that the furry community is bad. Just maybe could've had more nuance earlier in the video?  So from glancing through mentions of her in a Twitter search (which is definitely not going to be a perfect sample) from what I can tell there's like two things that people seem to be upset about with the video: 1, the idea that the fandom is "dead" and 2...just...Body Pillows. So let's talk about the dead fandom thing first. As I mention, I have been in fandom a long, long time. Although I (usually) shy away from big active fandoms now, I started off in bigger ones--Sonic, Pokemon, Digimon, LOTR, etc. The two fandoms I currently care about the most, though, are definitely fandoms that tend to be called "dead" and were never HUGE to begin with (Princess Tutu and Chrono Crusade). I think I can count on my hands the number of ppl who actively discuss or create fanwork for CC.   So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've been on both sides of the coin here. And let me reassure Bronies: "Dead", while maybe too strong of a label for what it actually means, does not have to be a negative thing and you don't need to defend your fandom from it, IMO. I think the "dead" label simply means that interest in the fandom has cooled, the number of active participants is significantly down from the heydays of the fandom, etc. And I don't think that's an unfair label for brony fandom from what I know.   If there was a large scale replacement for Bronycon then maybe it'd be unfair, but...yeah, if you're losing your large hubs for the fandom community, if the flow of fanwork and discussion has slowed, I think "dead", as it's used, isn't an unfair label.   But again, I don't think this is a bad thing! I'd imagine that even the current state of the brony fandom is larger and more active than the Princess Tutu fandom at its greatest heights. It's a pretty relative term. It doesn't mean nobody cares, or that you can't still enjoy it! All the "dead" label really means is acknowledging the change in a fandom. It's not a bad thing. I might be 1 of ~30 writers for Chrono Crusade on AO3 but I still have fun writing fic and I still get hits and occasional positive comments. It's not bad. Just different. Okay so now let's talk about the body pillow thing and oh man, is this going to be a minefield, lol. Let's first talk about my personal lens I'm going to come at here... I've created NSFW fanwork. Some of it taboo. I'm also (somewhat) a part of the "proship" discourse on Twitter which is basically a community of people that push back against another community of "anti"-shippers who feel that some ships are problematic (because of character age, power dynamics, etc) and shouldn't be shipped. (I think that simplifies a lot of the discussion on both sides but it’ll do for the purpose of what I’m getting at here, I think.) At its worse this debate has lead death threats and suicide attempts. I have seen people get treated abusively for fanwork (sometimes NSFW but not always). (And I also want to add that while I think the major component of the pro-ship discussions on Twitter are anti-harassment, there’s been some ‘edgy’ types who think that it’s fun to harass antis with NSFW fanwork and the like and I want to make it clear that is ALSO ABUSIVE AND NOT OKAY.) Basically, I want to say I'm sympathetic to a knee jerk defensive reaction over NSFW fanart. Okay? I can get why people might want to push against criticism of stuff they enjoy/create, and that there’s an element of possibly being harassed for fanwork you create. But the thing is, I don't think this is really the attitude Jenny is taking in the video. She lightly mocks NSFW stuff and body pillows, but often describes it as "harmless" and "fine". The only time she's critical of it is when she notes that sometimes body pillows with suggestive poses could be on display at conventions where young kids were present--at a con celebrating a show MEANT for young kids--and that probably shouldn't have been allowed. She's not saying you can't buy a body pillow, or create one. She didn't even say that while discussing body pillows of characters who were 10! She expressed personal discomfort, but the only restriction she really suggested was "keep this out of the sight of minors." And I don't know why that would be a controversial take. I read lemons when I was younger so I'm not going to sit here and act like it's going to completely ruin kids lives or anything. But I ALSO think it's appropriate to have boundaries for sexual materials for kids (or anyone who doesn't want to engage for whatever reason). I want my stuff to be clearly labeled as NSFW, with tags being clear about the content, so people know what they're getting into. I’ve grown to care about this even more as I’ve gotten older. I don’t really want to know about minors reading my nsfw fanfic or anything. I’m not going to, like, parent them and shame them if they do, but I don’t want to engage with it, I want my stuff to be labeled, and I am DEFINITELY not going to put it on public display at a place where I know kids are allowed, ESPECIALLY not when it’s work based on stuff MEANT for children! I mean, I grew up in a fundamentalist Evangelical household and I will rant at you for hours about how damaging I feel that environment was, and that I don’t think kids and teens should be completely shielded from sex, etc. But that doesn’t mean that having boundaries in place is a bad idea, especially when minors are involved. I also think that boundaries are good just for the sake of consent, too? I’m not saying that someone accidentally seeing suggestive art is the same as them being raped, please don’t conflate it like that, but if people don’t want to see it for whatever reason they should be given the opportunity to make that choice as much as possible. The stuff that Jenny mentioned brony conventions would do (requiring stuff to be sold under the table, or having late night hours for the dealer’s room where 18+ merch could be displayed and sold) seem like really good policies and pretty similar to what I’ve seen at anime conventions I’ve attended (although occasionally some stuff that was maybe a biiit more suggestive than I’d be comfortable displaying in public...but hey, my local con allows kids but also makes it clear in their rules that it’s mostly geared for 13+ attendees and that it’s up to parents to decide what’s appropriate for their kids, and I think that’s fair). And yeah, I know, nothing that Jenny showed in the video being displayed at Bronycon was 100% explicit, just suggestive. She notes this in the video herself, saying that yeah, it doesn’t show genitalia, etc...and as I’m writing this I think I’ve maybe rambled too much about NSFW fanart when most of the stuff we’re talking about here is more “suggestive” than straight-up porn, since that’s probably muddying the waters a bit. But I gotta, gotta, GOTTA address the sentiment I saw multiple times on Twitter in response to her video: “Dakimakura/body pillows aren’t sexual and to say that is orientalist.” I...what? What the fuck? Okay, again, I’m going to make it perfectly clear what my background is here so that I’m not claiming to have some expertise that I don’t have: I am white. I am VERY white. My parents did the DNA test thing and the most “exotic” thing that came up is that my dad is 3% Spanish. Not latin american, I mean from Spain spanish. I am sooooo fucking white. I’ve studied a LITTLE of Japanese culture in college classes but that wasn’t even my field of study (Communication major on a Broadcasing track, minor in Theatre) so I’m not going to tell you I’m an expert on Japanese culture. I’m just a weeby geek that grew up in anime fandoms and never really stopped consuming Japanese pop culture. I have a very limited experience with Japanese culture. I am NOT an expert on what is and isn’t orientalist. I know I’m really hammering in this point here but I think it’s really, really important that I make it clear that I shouldn’t be used as an expert on this subject. But what I DO have a background in is someone who has engaged in Western fandom of stuff from Japan from a young age, I did spend a lot of time on 4chan, this is NOT the first time that I’ve seen some form of an “this isn’t sexual at all and you’re just a PERVERT” discussion about fanservice and...okay first of all, I highly doubt anyone saying this is any more qualified to define what is and isn’t orientalist than I am. I think this is bullshit and it feels like an attempt to make your opinions more legitimate by implying people that disagree with you are some form of bigot. (And look, I was a sheltered, insecure, stuck-up teenager in fandom, part of the reason I feel like I can recognize this is I totally pulled the same shit. I am not going to act like I have never tried to pull this and that I’m a pure innocent woke intellectual who’s never said something foolish, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let it slide, either.)

While writing this I googled ‘dakimakura’ to make sure I was spelling it right and noticed that Wikipedia does note that the origins of this style of pillow are sometimes used by Japanese kids as something like a security blanket, which I’m guessing is where the justification for the argument is coming from, but let’s be intellectually honest here--body pillow covers being sold at a convention aren’t primarily meant to be a security blanket for kids. And, okay, maybe you have a body pillow cover with a character on it that isn’t exactly in a sexual pose, just laying fully clothed on what looks like a bedsheet background. But I don’t think it’s an unfair argument to say that even THEN it implies a sort of intimacy, right, possibly a desire for a romantic attachment? Like, sharing a bed with someone doesn’t have to be sexual or romantic, I used to share a bed with my brother in hotel rooms when we were kids, but I’m also not going to share a bed with my brother and then hug him closely to my body no matter how he’s posed or what he’s wearing??? And look, maybe a body pillow isn’t ALWAYS sexual but to say it’s NOT sexual, which kinda implies NEVER, is so disingenuous. The top result I got when I searched for “anime body pillow” is a shop that includes categories like “18+ body pillow” and “sexy body pillow” and also SELLS FAKE BREAST INSERTS FOR SOME OF THE PILLOWS SO YOU CAN SQUEEZE THEIR BOOBS (obviously, NSFW link: https://www.dakimakura.us/ ) Like, COME ON, I don’t think it’s orientalist to say that something is sexual when Japanese people are actually selling body pillows they label as 18+. The second result even has a second for pillows you can insert sex toys into. And yeah I saw the guy saying “masturbation isn’t sex!” and sir at BEST you have a very narrow and incorrect definition of sex as simply being intercourse and, again, at worst you’re just being straight up dishonest. In fact, I’ll straight up call myself out for this. There’s a fanart body pillow of a fictional character I’ve considered buying several times! (Not porn but still probably NSFW link: https://www.etsy.com/listing/701912275/dakimakura-hypnosismic-doppo?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=hypnosis+mic&ref=sr_gallery-1-4&organic_search_click=1 ) Is this porn? No. You can’t see much. But on one side of the pillow he’s got his shirt untucked, you can see a bit of his stomach, and his fly is undone and you can see the band of his underwear peeking out. This is sexual. I’m not wanting it to like, get off on it, exactly...honestly it’s maybe a bit ironic, and a lot of wanting a body pillow in general is I like sleeping hugging onto something but I have a different sleep schedule from my husband I find him too big to hold all night and too warm in the summer anyway. But I’m not going to tell you that me wanting this PARTICULAR pillow case isn’t at all sexual, I know what I’m doing, I like the character and think the drawing is hot. I’m not saying don’t buy body pillows, okay? I’m not saying don’t sell them. I don’t think Jenny is either (she literally OWNS ONE that she shows in the video!!!). But don’t act like there isn’t ever anything sexual about it existing to try to defend their existence, okay? You don’t need to be a fucking coward about it, and you especially don’t need to say it’s racist if people call out something as being suggestive when, well, it fucking is. And I think it’s totally 100% reasonable for someone to say “hey I don’t think it’s a good idea to display suggestive art around kids, especially if it’s depicting young characters.” TL;DR -- Chill, guys. CHILL. Your fandom is getting smaller and the term people use for this is “dead” but that’s not a bad thing, you’ve still got the fandom, you can still enjoy it, there’s definitely no need to take personal offense over it. And enjoy your body pillows, but don’t be disingenuous about the fact that they can be suggestive and try to act like anyone that calls it such is racist, that is such bullshit. Like what you like, other people’s opinions of it is not automatically a personal attack on you, there’s no need to jump to being defensive every time someone says something vaguely negative about it. Chill, fandom friends. Fandom ain’t bad but it also doesn’t need to be the center of your identity and you don’t need to lash out against people for daring to have opinions about a thing you like. You especially don’t need to act like other people are perverts for noting something being suggestive. Chiiiiiiiiiill.

[13rwbabes]

Montgomery x Reader Imagine (Part 18/?)

MASTERLIST

So um yeah, I know, I've been MIA for sooo long, I can't even remember when was the last time I posted (was if 2018 or 2017?lol) I wish I could give a good, reasonable explanation, but I can't really... I haven’t been much on tumblr in general, when I thought about writing I wasn't "feeling it". But lately, about three months after I got new phone I downloaded tumblr again and was really surprised to see people are still reading this, asking for next part and I was like whaaaat. Then on YouTube I watched some scenes from 3 season of 13 reasons, it reminded me what a cutie Timothy Granaderos is and I kind of wanted to start again. Another factor that pushed me to writing again is that at the moment life is a little overwhelming for me and it let's me zone out from everything. So here it is, part 18 if anyone is still interested lol It's not the best chapter I could imagine, especially for a come back but I promise, they will actually interact again in next one (btw I fixed my masterlist link)

Also this time I made sure I'm not suddenly gonna go MIA again and that I'm really prepared, next2 chapters are almost done :) I also think that in general this fanfic will be done in next 10(?) chapters, because I'm running out of ideas lol

IMPORTANT NOTE: I haven't watched seasons 2&3 but I'm familiar with what is going on. I know things Montgomery did is S2, I know how his story was shown in S3 but... This is my fanfic. This is like an alternate universe where Monty is straight and didn't raped anyone with a mop, okay?

***

"An intervention?", I chuckled. "I don't need any intervention."

"Yes, you do", Sheri said. "You are so smart and so intelligent, but you are such an idiot when it comes to your feelings."

"We spoke to Monty", Zach added.

"Oh, and what did he tell you?", I asked and crossed my arms on my chest. I was faking confidence but inside I was shaking. Did he tell them everything? Would the do that even though he promised he would keep it a secret?

"Everything", Justin said. "You can't skip school forever, Y/N."

"I have doctor's note, my wrist hurts", I shrugged. "Why are you here instead of school, that's real question."

"Priorities. We talked to Monty before he went home and we decided we have to do something and we have to do it now, because you are too scared and too stubborn and Montgomery is too insecure", Jessica said as she sat down on couch and patted place next to her, "So now, sit down and talk."

"Interesting, many words that I could use to describe Monty come to my mind, but insecure is not one of them", I said sitting down.

"He's insecure when it comes to you", Sheri said.

"Well, she did everything in her power to make him feel like that", Justin mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"He told us everything. About the thing you two had. And how you always said he's not good enough for you."

"Oh wow", I chuckled. "Okay, fine, we were hooking up last year, but I have never said things like that to him. I ended things so now he's tryna make me look like the bad guy here".

"Okay, so tell me", Justin took chair sat on it backwards in front of me, "was he taking care of you?", his tone was sharp and others didn't dare to interrupt him.

"What do you mean?", I asked, but I felt where this conversation was going.

"For example, who took you to the hospital when you got allergic reaction?".

"Monty and you know that, you were there when it happened", I rolled my eyes.

"Who came here and checked on you later that day?"

"Montgomery".

"Who walked you to the nurse and then drove to hospital when you broke your wrist?"

"Monty".

"Who stood up for you when that dickhead Sean showed up at Bryce's Halloween party?"

"All of you actually", I smiled, I knew what he meant but I wanted to annoy him.

"You know what I mean", he said through clenched teeth.

"Okay, yes, Montgomery was next to me all night to make sure Sean didn't bother me."

"And didn't he put you to sleep when you got wasted and didn't get advantage of you because you was so drunk even though you begged to get laid?".

"What?"

"Just stop fucking lie, Y/N", Justin sighed.

"Okay, yes, he put me to sleep and did not want to have sex with me because I was so drunk, I wouldn't call that begging to get laid".

"You really don't see this?", Sheri asked.

"See what?", I asked harshly.

"How much he cares about", she said quietly.

"What did he do when you told him your period was late?", Justin continued his 20 questions.

"He told you about that?!", I stood up.

"Yes, as we said, he told everything", Zach told.

"So what did he do?", Justin asked.

"He... Told me to stay and went to drugstore and got back with few pregnancy tests."

"Quite nice that he took care of everything", Justin chuckled.

"Okay, what is your point?", I was getting slowly irritated.

"He cares about you", all four of them yelled.

"If he cares about me, why did he started dating Tina, the second after I called things off?", at this point I was almost crying.

"Because you called it off suddenly out of nowhere and also because he is a bit dumb, like most of us", Jessica said.

"I called it off because I started having feelings for him", I said. "So I wanted some distance before I would get hurt", I shrugged.

"Why do you assume you would get hurt?"

"Because... It was supposed to be fuck buddies thing. That's what he wanted. There's no place for feelings".

"So are you saying that he literally called you the greatest girl he knows, only because of sex?", Justin asked.

"I know you don't agree, but he got in this fight with Alex today in your cause, because of that stupid list. I know, it's not what you wanted, you didn't asked for this and he usually does before he thinks but... he tries", Zach said.

"He changed. Everyone see it. Yes, he fought Alex today, but stop being blind and think about his behaviour last month or two...", Jessica added.

"I'm just... scared. What if I make a move and it won't work?", I said and swiped off single tear that streamed down my face.

"Honey", Jess hugged me. "But what if it does? He's speaks so highly about you. Even today after you had a fight at school, but he's miserable because he has no idea what else he could do to get to you."

"Well", Justin chuckled. "He also called her critical bitch to balance things out".

I laughed a little.

"I guess I deserve it", I said.

"So how it's gotta be?", Sheri asked.

"Okay", I sighed. "I will talk to him when he'll be back in school", I nodded. "But if it won't work and things will get more awkward, it'll be your fault", I pointed at four of them.

"They will", Jess smiled.

"Okay guys, let's leave her alone and give her time to make up her mind", Zach said.

"See you tomorrow", they said as they were leaving.

"Guys", I said before they left. "I'm sorry I was lying to you."

"Talk to Montgomery and we'll be good", Justin said with a smile while closing door.

I went to my room, laid on bed and stared at the ceiling trying to make up my mind. Suddenly I heard that front door opened and I realized I haven't locked them when Sheri and others left.

"Y/N?", I heard my mum.

I breathed a sigh of relief and got up from my bed.

"Yeah?", I said as I was walking downstairs.

"Dad called me. He said you came for a doctor's note because you skipped school."

"Well, my wrist hurts", I said avoiding looking at her. Mum could tell when I was lying most of the time.

"Okay", she sighed. "Tell me what is it really about?"

"It's my wrist. Really. I barely took it out of the cast, it's normal", I shrugged.

"Listen", she walked to the freezer and took box of ice cream, "it's your last chance to tell me the truth. Otherwise I'll stop being a cool mum", she handed me a spoon.

I stared at her, had a fight in my mind. As much as my relationship with my mum was really good, I considered both her and dad friends, I wasn't sure if I should tell her about the whole Montgomery mess. On the other hand how much worse could it get? Also she would have a fresh perspective on everything.

"Okay", I said finally and took deep breath. "It's about Montgomery", I said quietly.

"Ha, I knew something was going on!", she said walking from kitchen to the living room and sitting on the couch.

"Okay, calm down Ms I know it all, it's not what you think", I said and sat next to her. "So... You know I've been friends with Montgomery for few years now. Well, maybe not friends, more like... We had the same group of friends but the two of us wasn't like super close or anything. But this school year we got closer..."

"Because of the chemistry project?", She asked with a smirk.

"Well, yes, I was late to the first class and had to sit with him and that's how we got paired", I nodded. I knew I wasn't telling her the whole truth but I didn't think she would be amused with the whole friend with benefits thing. "Anyway...", I continued.

And I told her everything. I pointed out every thing he did for me, how he took me to the hospital when I eat peanut butter cookie, how he came and checked on me later that day, how he took care of me when I broke my wrist and stood on my side, not Tina's even though he was dating her at that time, how he took me away from Marcus when he made bet about me. I even told her what happened at Halloween party when he carried me away from Sean and made sure he stayed away from me (I didn't mention part where I was "begging to get laid", as Justin claims). And, for obvious reasons, I didn't tell about that time when I thought I was pregnant and he acted really matured and went to buy a pregnancy tests. As I was saying all this things I finally realised that everyone was right - he did took care about me and he did change.

"And after all this things you pushed him away because you are afraid to hell him how you feel?", my mum asked.

"Well... Yes", I nodded.

"Y/N Y/L/N, your father and I didn't raise you to be a coward. You'll of course do whatever you want but I really think you two should have an honest talk. What worse could happen?"

"You're right... Probably..."

"You seemed happier around October and November, just sayin...", she shrugged and went upstairs.

"Stop being coward", I whispered to myself.

Five minutes later I was driving to Montgomery's house.

"You can do it. You can do it. What's the worst thing that could happen?", I was my own hypeman. "He won't spoke to me? He already doesn't", I shrugged.

I parked and almost run to his front door. I rang the doorbell and waited moment but I didn't hear any noise from inside. I looked at the driveway, his car was parked, he had to be inside. I knocked hard few times. Still nothing. Then I heard something behind the house. I went there and that's where he was. He was playing basketball alone with his earphones on. I walked towards him, he saw me and froze for a moment. Then he ignored my presence and continued throwing ball to the basket. I walked closer, stood under the basket and caught ball when it was falling.

"Monty...", I said even though I wasn't sure if he could hear me.

He shook his head and walked back to the house.

"I'm not a coward", I mubled and followed him.

"Monty", I repeated.

"That's trespassing, you know?", he asked pouring himself some juice.

"I want to speak you", I said.

"And I want you to leave".

"Well I'm not leaving until to talk to me", I crossed my arms.

"I've had enough, okay?", he said walking past me, grabbed my arm and walked me to the front door. "Bye, Y/N."

"Mon..."

"My parent will be home any time now and because I got suspended again, believe me, you don't want be here when they get here", he said, still not looking at me.

"Okay, well, can we talk tomorrow? Or maybe on Thursday when you'll be back in school if you want more time?", I asked.

"Nah, I don't think I want to talk to you at all", he said and closed the door leaving me on his doorstep.

I came back to my car holding back my tears.

"Fuck!", I screamed and hit steering wheel few times. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

My phone started ringing, I looked at the screen.

"Hey, Atkins", I answered trying to sound normal.

"Hi, sweet, I sent you notes from today."

"Thanks, you're the best."

"Just try, you know, slow down with skipping school. Teachers start asking questions."

"This was last time, I swear", I sighed.

"Everything ok?", he asked concerned.

"Yeah... No, actually, it's not... I, encouraged by pretty much everyone I know including my mum, went to Montgomery to finally tell him everything, how I feel about him. But he doesn't want to talk to me and pretty much shut the door in front of my face..."

"Oh God... Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, thanks, Sheri, Justin, Jessica and Zach spoke to him already. He's fed up with me and I deserve it to be honest", I shrugged.

"Don't say that! Give him few days, he'll probably change his mind by the time he'll be back in school", Jeff assured. "And if not, I'm more than sure, he'll want to talk to you when he see you at the prom this saturday".

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm going, I'm not in a mood."

"Oh no, no, no..."

"Jeff..."

"You're coming! Your mum ordered like ten dresses online, they're supposed to be delivered today. You're going. And don't use wrist as an excuse. Bye", he hung up before I could say anything more.

*** Monty's POV ***

It wasn't even an hour since Y/N left when I heard a doorbell.

"What again", I mumbled walking down the stairs. "Seriously?", I chuckled when I opened door and saw Jeff. "Who's coming next? Her mum? Her dad?", I swear one more person comes in, trying to defend her, I'm out.

"She doesn't know I'm here", Jeff walked inside.

"Whatever", I shrugged.

"Listen, I don't know the whole story, all I know is that since September both of you changed for better. She seemed happy and more relaxed. You didn't lose you temper so much and you were unbeatable on the field. Man, that two home runs?"

"Yeah, I mean, me and Y/N made a bet... Nevermind."

"Anyway, you were in a better place. Both of you. And know both of you are miserable."

"Well, thanks to her..."

"Man, I know her since forever. She can be a lot, she's neurotic and critical, I know that. The whole thing with this dickhead Sean really affected her. She really fucked her up and made her feel insecure and distanced and still somehow you were the first person she let in."

"Why are everyone making this whole thing about her? I was in it too. I finally wanted to change, to be better. Because of her. For her. And then she suddenly ended things. I mean... No one is that blind to not see that", I said. "And don't start with that 'she's insecure' crap talk", I added before Jeff had a chance to open his mouth.

"Listen, you'll do whatever you want. By far both of you are making yourselves miserable with your stubborness, but whatever", Jeff raised his hands with defensive gesture. "I send you notes from today, see you on Thursday", he said and left.

"Fuck", I whispered.

I had a point. I knew I had. Everyone were making is about Y/N, but I was in it too. When I told her she was the greatest person I knew, I meant it. I mean... How can someone not have at least a tiny crush on her. I meant it when I told her she's a catch. And yet she supposedly didn't get what I was trying to say? She finally made me feel vulnerable and then pushed me away.

I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling when I heard her voice in my mind saying jokingly "Just try not to fall in love with me". I should've taken that as a warning...

[kinktae]

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

[musiclovingbitch]

Oh I want all of them 1-50!

Fuck. I brought this onto myself. Putting this under a read-more so that people don’t kill me.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I don’t think any of you know this but the first fic I ever wrote was a Shameless one-shot that was titled ‘Mine’ and it was just semi-good, semi-bad smut. The first and last fic I ever posted on fanfic.net, actually. I deleted it years ago and didn’t save a copy, so it’s gone forever now…

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

My most recent fic is Part, written for the 2019 Klaine Advent Challenge, and also the gleepotluckbigbang. I’m fallen majorly behind cause I have some studying to do, so I may take a long while to finish the rest of the klaine advent.

It’s much, much better than Mine was, lol.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh, that’s so difficult. While I’m not happy with everything I’ve posted, there’s a bunch that have a special place in my heart. Escape came to mind first, partly because I love older!Blaine fics, which is kind of shocking to me cause it’s one of the very first fics I ever wrote, and statistically I tend to like my older fics less.

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

I have looked at the numbers before, though not recently, so I have an idea.

I think Escape is the reigning queen right now, actually, but Incapacitated by Love and The Effects of Cookies on Shy Teenagers are gunning for her crown, lol.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I don’t tend to reread any of my fics, but like I said, there are a few that I love. Escaped and Incapacitated by Love are two of them, along with Together, I Need A Gangsta, and Question.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Uh, one of the reasons I don’t reread my fics is the cringe factor, so, no. I reread Mine a couple of years after I posted it and it made me delete it, so. I think it’s in everyone’s interest that I don’t.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, so, not in that regard, but.

When I first posted I Need A Gangsta, I had a surprisingly large amount of people asking for a sequel. It’s been years since I posted it, but last week I started thinking about it and I have a little bit of inspiration, so. You may wanna look for that in the upcoming months. (I have exams coming up, be patient.)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Again, I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, but.

I got asked for a sequel to one of the fics I wrote for the 2015 Klaine Advent, Wish, which is inspired by Aladdin. I haven’t gotten around to it yet… *hides in shame*

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nah. I’m not sure if I could. Although, I do usually write AUs, so. I think some of them could fit pretty much any pairing.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

I hadn’t read any Shameless fanfic before writing and posting my own. But I read klaine fanfic for years before I attempted writing it.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Nothing specific comes to mind right now? I do occasionally get inspired by prompts, (and you can all blame @slayediest​ for reblogging them onto my dash) and they obviously get used by a whole bunch of people, but usually inspiration for different fics comes a little more naturally, like I’ll hear a song or whatever. 

I did write a fake dating au and I was nervous about writing it, I took more care than usual if that makes sense, and that was both because it’s such an iconic trope, but also because it was a gift to the delightful @lilyvandersteen​, so I was even more anxious than usual after posting it cause I was waiting to see if she liked it or not.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

There are so. many. fics. in my drafts folder, but all but two are unfinished. Those two that are finished but not published I just don’t like very much. I keep them with the intent of re-writing the parts I don’t like and posting them. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll get around to that.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I’m more comfortable writing now than back when I first started, I guess? I was way more hesitant then.

I do write better smut now.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Let’s just say I’m into some kinky shit now and it’s definitely because of late nights spent on AO3.

Trope-wise, not much has changed about my preferences.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Nah. I don’t vibe like that. The words don’t come out of me.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Nope.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

It’s definitely Closer. I was debating not posting it and it has more hits than it has words, I really don’t get it.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

I’m not sure. I feel like I’d be nagging if I said, oh hey not enough of you guys read/liked/reblogged this fic of mine. 

People have their preferences. I’m okay with that.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Fuck. Maybe Together? It has the mix of intense angst/sappy romance that you’ll find in my fics 100% of the time.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

I haven’t, and I don’t think I will. I don’t tend to linger over fics once I’ve posted them.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

This has happened three times and I loved it every single time. I would definitely check out their profile, yes. 

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Are you kidding me? Literally all of you, yes. Fandom royalty has read my work, bitches. 

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh, god. Someone commented that I made them cry, it was the best, it made my entire week.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’m very lucky in that aspect, I’ve never gotten hate in regards to my fic. 

I did write a fic where Blaine and Sam were teaching a CPR class that Kurt was in, and at the end, I had Sam interrupt them while they were speaking, and someone left a mean comment about Sam? I smelled fandom wank and did not engage.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Haven’t gotten any of that.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I like making people feel things. If you tell me I made you feel good or bad with my fic, I’m going to be delighted.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single-fandom fics.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Glee, obvi. I’d never give you cuties up.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Well, although I have considered writing for some of my other fandoms, it just hasn’t felt right. That may change in the future, and that’ll be an interesting day.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I think klaine has become such an important part of my life that I don’t see myself giving it up entirely.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I don’t think I have ever gotten any character perfectly right, but that’s okay. It helps that the majority of my fics are AUs, so I don’t feel a lot of hesitation having them do or say some OOC things.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I think I’ve nailed Kurt and Blaine at different scenes in different fics, but no particular character comes easy to me.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Rachel kind of takes over sometimes and I have to go back and edit things out, lol. That’s just her diva way.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I think the one that surprised me with just how much response it received (I know that phrasing is wrong but I can’t be bothered right now) is Incapacitated by Love. Who knew people in the glee fandom had a thing about police officer!Blaine.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I keep klaine as the main focus, so the backround couples switch up ocassionally and I don’t particularly care.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Not that I can remember.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

I don’t think so?

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

Not really. Although if any of you consider yourself to be a loyal reader of mine, please let me know.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No, that’s kind of the worst part about my muse, she’s a flighty bitch.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

AO3 is the best. Tumblr can suck my dick.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

Incapacitated by Love has 1554 hits! Wow.

43. Your least popular?

Ground has only 95 hits, but I posted it a few days ago.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I have no idea what this question is asking.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

AU all the way, baby, although that’s apparent.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

No, I think I have a very specific style. I dither in between gut-wrenching angst and tooth-aching fluff. That’s it, that’s my fics.

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There’s too much gay porn and I’m too closeted for this shit.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes, one friend of mine knows, although she doesn’t know what I write, or for which fandom(s).

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Of course it’s had a massive impact in my life. It’s a huge creative outlet and I’ve ‘met’ so many people because of it! I think it’s like 85% positive.

[bnheadcanons-scenarios]

Can I request a bakushima fanfic where Kirishima tells Bakugou all the Kirishima pick up lines you and the anons said???

Gahhh I’m so late with this stuff but here you go love!! I did a thing and I hope you like it lol–Bakugou was so done by the time he walked into class that morning.

First, he couldn’t fall asleep until late last night because his shitty haired neighbor was on the phone for most of the night laughing and just being loud in general. He also woke up an hour before his alarm went off and couldn’t fall back asleep because apparently his body hates him. Then, he tried to shower but for some reason the water was ice fucking cold and almost exploded a hole through the shower wall because of how angry he was.

All in all, it’s been a shit morning. And to make it better, as he walked through the UA halls, Bakugou could feel people stare at him, whispering to the people next to them and laughing about something that he couldn’t hear. He scowled and shoved his hands deep in his pockets, feeling them spark and sizzle against his thighs. He did not want to get kicked out of the program for blowing up idiot students but at that moment he also wished that looks could kill because his glare would’ve slaughtered them all.

Walking into the classroom, he froze and realized why everyone was looking at him like that.

On his desk was a note, open, and covered in bright red hearts. Immediately, he scowled deeper and debated how it would affect his hero career if he skipped class. But he walked in anyway, snatched up the note, and was about to blow it up when he caught a glimpse of very messy and somehow familiar handwriting, though he couldn’t put his finger on why.

When ever you touch me you make my heart explode;)

Bakugou read over that line a few times before he crumpled it up and exploded it in his hand, ashes falling to his feet. He sent a deadly glare around the room, noticing some people laughing quietly to himself when his eyes met a pair of red ones and his gaze froze, looking at Kirishima who was seated at his desk with a slightly terrified Kaminari next to him. He stared at Kirishima, noticing a flash of disappointment cross the other’s face before his signature smile took over his features.

“Got a secret admirer, huh, Bakubro?”

“Don’t fucking call me that, Shitty Hair.” He ripped his gaze away and slammed down into his seat, unsure why swirls of guilt were spreading through his body.

–

As the day progressed, Bakugou forgot about the letter. He was able to let his anger out during their class training session, which was exactly what he needed. Training ended and Bakugou felt a little lighter as he walked back to his room to start studying, but froze when he reached his door, seeing a similar piece of paper taped on the wood.

I could rock your world if you let me

Okay this has to be a fucking joke. Bakugou’s head whipped around when he felt eyes on the back of his head but saw nobody in the halls with him. Sending one last glare to the invisible presence, he slowly peeled the note off of the door and entered his room, throwing the piece of paper on his desk as he kicked his shoes off and threw his backpack down.

Not even two minutes later and he heard a knock on his door. Groaning, he got up from his bed, where he was attempting to rest shortly, and opened the door.

“What! Oh, it’s just you, Shitty Hair.” He leaned against the doorframe as he squinted at Kirishima.

“Hey man! Can you help me with the homework from today? I’m stumped,” he asked with a sheepish look on his face. Bakugou saw that he had already gathered up all of his books before coming over. With a deep sigh, he stepped to the side to give the other enough room to come inside. Kirishima beamed at him and walked passed him. “Thanks Bakugou!”

“Whatever.” He slammed the door behind him and watched as Kirishima spotted the note.

“Oh, wow! Two in one day? You must be a popular dude.”

There was a hint of something that Bakugou couldn’t place.

“Do you know who’s sending them?” Bakugou could place that tone though: insecurity. Why Kirishima would be so nervous asking that question was beyond him.

“Why the fuck do you care?”

Kirishima tense momentarily before letting out a forced laugh. “Just curious man!”

“Whatever dumbass. Are you just in here to waste my time or do you actually want to fucking learn something.” Kirishima smiled and sat on his bed, setting his books up in front of him as moving over to give Bakugou room to sit too.

–

Late that night, Kirishima was at his wits end. He was sitting up on his bed, trying to think of some way to get Bakugou to realize it was him writing those notes. He tried the subtle pick up line approach but apparently they were too vague.

Groaning, he threw his head back against the wall with a thud. He needed something, some kind of idea that would make it more obvious. He felt around for his phone before calling someone.

“Kami! I need your help again!”

–

Bakugou slept until his alarm, the shower was warm, and everything was going good that morning. That is, until he walked back to his room.

Apparently, someone had slid a piece of paper under his door while he was in the shower, which he stepped on before noticing. He sighed, already becoming irritated over this mystery person leaving him really weird letters yesterday and honestly hoped that it wouldn’t happen any more. He picked it up and opened the letter and reading what new line this person came up with.

I don’t need my quirk to get hard when I’m around you;)

Three thoughts ran through Bakugou’s mind when he read that: “What the actual fuck?!”, “Why the actual fuck?!”, and “Who the actual fuck?!”. He couldn’t tell if his face was red from rage or embarrassment at that very straight forward and sexual line.

And then it clicked.

“KIRISHIMA!”

A few loud thuds came from behind the other wall followed by a groan of pain. Bakugou turned towards the door, scowling and trying to will away his blush and he heard Kirishima slowly turn the knob and poke just his head through the opening.

“Yes?” he asked in a very quiet voice. Bakugou stomped over and ripped the door open the rest of the way, shoving the note in the other’s face.

“Explain.”

“I…um….surprise?” He gave a sheepish smile, to which Bakugou just threw his arms up in exasperation and paced around the room.

“What the fuck is that letter supposed to mean?!”

Kirishima groaned. “I told Kami that it was too weird.”

“So it was fucking Sparky’s idea?”

“Kinda? Like, the stupid puns and pick up lines were just because I’m not good at coming up with them myself.”

“Why would you fucking do this in the first place though?”

“Because…Ilikeyou.”

“What? Stop fucking mumbling dumbass.”

Kirishima took in a deep breath, “Because I like you but I’m awkward and was too afraid to confess so I decided to leave you cryptic notes and oh man you hate me now.” He closed his eyes and held his breath, tensing his body in preparation for a punch that he thought was heading his way.

When he didn’t feel a blow, he cracked his eyes open and relaxed his body when he saw Bakugou just standing there, speechless, face bright red.

“You…you fucking idiot!”

“Huh?”

“You could’ve just fucking told me instead of doing this,” he gestured widely with his hands, “shit.”

Kirishima was speechless for a moment. “Wait, does that mean?”

“Yes you moron! I fucking…tolerate you too,” he said those last words quietly, feeling his face heat up even more at the spontaneous confession. Kirishima’s face split into a bright smile.

“So, will you go out with me?”

Bakugou averted his eyes and sat on the edge of his bed. “Fine.”

“Yes!!” Kirishima threw his arms up and jumped around excitedly. Bakugou tried to fight back a smile that was making a way on his face at the sight. When Kirishima calmed down, there was a wicked smile on his face.

“Hey Bakugou?”

“What?”

“Does this mean that more than just our quirks are compatible?”

“Get the fuck out.”

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Before the World Stops Turning: Pt. 5

Yay! Look at me being a good fanfic writer and actually sticking to what I said in my previous chapter update about posting another chapter within a reasonable time frame! Are you proud of me? Because I’m REALLY proud of me! :)

This is the other short chapter I mentioned was going to be posted (less than 1500 words at my last count), but I promise that the next chapters will be substantially longer. Okay, that’s enough of my ramblings for now, so it’d probably be best that we just get on with it, yeah?

If you’d like to be added/removed from my tags list for this fic or my Forever Tag list, don’t hesitate to let me know!

Everything I’ve written can be found right here!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! (As always, additional notes and random commentary I have will be at the end beneath the tags…This author’s note is also quite long and sort of all over the place, so yet again, you are under no obligation to read it and/or read all of it...I promise I will not be offended lol)

***

It had only been a few days since Rae reached out to Kings and Queens on their band’s social media page to purchase their tickets and as she sat on the floor of Izzie’s bedroom beside her mate on Sunday evening, she was currently trying to find a way out of the arranged meet-up.

 “Are you positive you can’t pick up the tickets tomorrow on my behalf, Izz?”

 “I already told you, Rae, I’m stuck in class all day trying to prep for my final exams.”

 “I’m sure missing one day couldn’t hurt…” Rae mumbled under her breath, but she knew that Izzie’s mind wouldn’t be changed.

 “Oh, Rae-Rae! You’re just getting worked up over nothing! You yourself have told me time and time again how nice all the members of the band have been and how sweet they are when they interact with fans online…”

 “Fine, I suppose you’re right, Izzie…But I don’t even know where we’re meeting yet! Or who I’m meeting, as a matter of fact, because they never fucking told me who I was talking to!”

 Rae threw her arms up in the air in exasperation, causing Izzie to chuckle at her mate’s flair for the dramatic, before she tilted her head back to rest on the edge of Izzie’s bed while staring up at the ceiling.

 “So text him and ask! Whoever runs their social media account gave you their number for a reason, so you might as well put it to good use,” Izzie said as she grabbed Rae’s cellphone off of her desk and handed it to her, ”personally I think that you’ve been chatting with Archie, since he’s the one who typically talks about the logistics of these shows and posts all the details on his personal account before it’s posted on the band page, but you’ll never know unless you ask or agree to meet up with them…”

 “I guess…” Rae replied with a huff as she unlocked her cellphone and began drafting a text message to send.

Rae: Hey there! This is Rae Earl. I made arrangements to meet up with you tomorrow afternoon and pick up the tickets to your show that I purchased. Which café on campus were you thinking of meeting at?

 “Okay, Izzie…are you happy? The message has been sent and now we just have to keep waiting until we get a respon—“

 (New Message): Hiya Rae! :D It’s great to finally hear from you about this.

 (New Message): I was beginning to think you may have forgotten our plans to meet up :(

 (New Message): Do you know where Charlie’s Café is?

 Rae: Oh, sorry about that. I got pretty busy this past week, but I can assure you that I have not forgotten! :) Yes, I know where that is!

 (New Message): Great! Let’s meet there then, if that’s alright with you?

 Rae: Sure, sounds good to me! I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?

 (New Message): Of course, love! It’s a date ;)

 “Oh…uhm…okay?” Rae said to herself as she placed her cell phone on the carpet next to her outstretched legs.

 “What happened, Rae? Did you get the details for your meet up all sorted?”

 “Yeah, we did. We’re gonna meet at Charlie’s on campus…but look at how they ended the conversation after we confirmed the plans for tomorrow…”

 Izzie leaned over to look at Rae’s phone screen and her eyes widened slightly as she read the final text sent to Rae.

 “Aw! It looks like my Rae-Rae has a little coffee date with one of her many admirers tomorrow afternoon! That’s my girl!” Izzie said with a cheeky smirk as she bumped Rae’s arm with her shoulder.

 “Ugh, seriously, Izz? You’re hopeless…” Rae replied with an eye roll but her annoyed façade was soon betrayed by the uncontrollable grin that spread across her face as she shook her head at her best mate.

 “Oh whatever! You know you love me, Rae!” Izzie replied as she rested her head on Rae’s shoulder lightly.

***

Rae had to go to work early the next morning, but shortly before noon her boss came up to Rae and offered her the chance to leave work early today, since all the necessary tasks that had to be done had been finished hours ago.

Naturally, Rae jumped at the chance since days when they finished work earlier than expected were few and far between, and she drove back to her apartment thankful for the extra time she now had to prepare for her meet-up later that day.

 “Fucking hell! You know what, Izzie? I’m not going…”

 “What do you mean you’re not going? You can’t just cancel at the last minute like this!” Izzie chided, shaking her head disapprovingly at her best mate through the screen of her cell phone during their video call early Monday afternoon.

 “But of course I can! I’ll just tell them that something came up…”

 “Rae, I know that you’re not sure what to expect, but it’s going to be fine. Now hurry up and get dressed before you end up being late, because that would be very rude!”

 “Okay, mum, I’m getting dressed now,” Rae joked as she set her cellphone down on her bed before walking toward the open door of her closet to pick out what she was going to wear.

 “Izzie, what exactly does someone wear to something like this?”

 “Well, since it’s just an afternoon coffee date, I’d say something cute but still casual…maybe a simple dress,” Izzie suggested.

 “It’s not a date!” Rae groaned as she continued rummaging through her closet for something to wear.

 “Are you sure, Rae-Rae? Because that’s not what the last text they sent you last night implied…”

 “Oh, shut up, Izz…I know you have to get to class pretty soon, so I’ll go ahead and let you go now.”

 “Okay, that sounds good to me, Rae. Be sure to tell them I say thank you and let me know how much I owe you for the ticket!”

 “Okay, I will!”

 “And I expect to hear all the details of your coffee date with a cute band member! Talk to you later, babes! Bye…” Izzie said with a smile as she ended the video call on her phone.

 Ugh…It’s not a fucking date…

 Well, it’s probably not a date.

 I suppose there’s no harm in looking nice even if this is definitely not a date…

 Rae spent the next few minutes scouring her closet for the right thing to wear before ultimately deciding to wear a casual navy blue wrap dress with a pastel floral pattern that landed just above her knee.

 Once she finished putting on a little mascara and lipstick to complete her look without looking like she was trying too hard, Rae brushed through her long, wavy hair one last time to make sure that her hair did not look like as much of a mess as she was feeling.

Content with her choice of outfit once she slipped on her dark gray sneakers, Rae gave herself a final once over in her full-length mirror and rushed out of her apartment to where her car was parked before driving to her Uni campus.

 The drive to campus seemed to be taking much longer than it normally did and Rae could not seem to find any music on the radio that helped calm her nerves and pass the time; however, she soon found herself walking into Charlie’s Café and taking a seat at a vacant table on the far side of the café to wait for the guy she was supposed to be meeting.

 Relax, Rae! You’re here five minutes earlier than you had agreed to meet to pick up the tickets…

 He will surely be here soon, just give him a few more minutes.

Rae pulled her cellphone from her purse where she had placed it on the chair beside her and began scrolling through social media to help ease her nerves, but as she sat and waited, time began to drag on and each passing second felt like an eternity.

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @lurkernolonger @milllott @nutinanutshell @i-dream-of-emus @milymargot @vivammfd @bitchesbecrazy89 @arathewallflower@mallyallyandra @kneekeyta

A/N: As if Rae wasn’t already bricking it about having to meet up with one of the band members to pick up  the tickets, they had to go and refer to their meet up as a “date” and cause her to stress even more! Is it a date? Is it NOT a date?

Poor Rae doesn’t even know who she’s supposed to be meeting becasue our little Finnley didn’t even think to introduce himself or tell her who she was going to be meeting (she’s going to be in for quite the surprise, don’t you think? lol)

The next chapter(s) are what we have been leading up to...Rae and Finn are going to finally meet properly...this is going to be a lot of fun, I think! :D

So I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of two side blogs that I have and then I have my main blog as well. Since this is a side blog, that means I can’t follow any of you/reply/like posts from this account :/

I created this side blog about a year ago to post all my MMFD-related content and I wanted some sense of anonymity, especially once I started posting my own writing here. In all honesty, I don’t really feel the need for that anonymity anymore. Obviously I will still have my other blogs separate from this one and I’ll keep posting all my MMFD stuff here, but I feel like maybe I should let you all get to know me for me, you know? (I mean…I’m fairly certain that unless you’ve messaged me privately, my last post in the Author’s Notes was the first time I ever used my name in a post…maybe? I could be wrong though…)

But yeah…most likely none of you know what I look like or where I’m from or anything about me unless you’ve picked up on it from what I write/how I write or I’ve mentioned something specific about me.

So I think I’ll leave it up to you all…do you want to know more about me? Do you want to get to know me better? Do you have any dire, pressing questions to ask me, Finn-Nelson-for-the-win aka “Sarah”?

Or do you like this interesting intrigue and mystery of me remaining more or less anonymous?

Feel free to let me know what you think or how you’d feel in my situation and who knows…this might just be my chance to revamp and update this blog to show a bit more of who I am, since this blog is nearing or just past it’s 1st Anniversary! ;) Until next time...Stay awesome, my friends! :)

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 23} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: I love tuesdays because of you hahaha I can't focus on my assignment bcoz im really excited !!!!!! More strong power thank you !

Oh my god please try focusing on your assignment too! TT I want you to do well and so does Jungkook c: hehe~ Thank you so much love :D

@qigoyangi said: and finally it's Tuesday again!! the only other day in the week that I wait for is Fridays. You left me hanging on the edge with the last update and I'm soo excited for todays update. I loved the concept with the reader being a domitor and I'm looking forward too see how you evolve that. lot's of love and support from Qi

Yes it’s Tuesday! I’m so glad you look forward to Tuesdays because of IWSY! And I’m happy that you’re loving the lore and the concept :3 Thank you so much my love and I hope you enjoy tonight!!

Anonymous said: I just finished taking a test and remember u were uploading today 🙌💞 U light up my days  -wifey anon

Hello wifey anon! And good job on finishing your test! I’m sure you did an amazing job =D Awwww you’re so cute!! You light up my days too :3 I really hope you enjoy tonight’s chapter :D

Anonymous said: I had a really shitty and stressful day and I have just realized it's Tuesday and now I'm like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can't wait for tonight's update

Shitty and stressful days are the worst, I’m sorry your day was so crappy :( But I hope that the new chapter was able to cheer you up and make your day a little better :3 Thank you so much babe!

@jynxy24 said: I'm breathing out tge air of my lungs for the upcoming smut!! :3

*breathes with you* I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT MY LOVE!

@animeimmortal said: I had such a shit day and all I'm waiting for is IWSY cuz like yes it does make me angry at times cuz of cliffhangers but then again its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD ❤

I’m sorry you had a shit day my love *hugs* but I hope that IWSY can make you smile today! (apologies again for the cliffhangers :P )

Anonymous said: Girl, I'm dying here.  I need my IWSY fix!

Go go go get it!!

@cotylovesbands said: I can't wait for IWSY!!!!!! I love it so so much 💗

I really hope you enjoyed it my dear! *hugs*

@mocking-butts said: Okay but seriously you're my fav writer ever and I look up to you for writing and I'm way too excited for this chapter you are now the mother of writing I'm calling you mumsy~! I'm so excited I can't stop looking at my phone 😭💕

Omg mumsy *heart flutters* that’s so cute ajkgnakjgadg you’re so sweet what did I do to deserve you?! hehe~ I really hope you enjoyed the chapter babes! Thank you so much :)

Anonymous said: Omfg I'm so excited for the next part, like I've been procrastinating for about an hour on meaning to do homework and this has only solidified that I shouldn't be doing work until I've read the update 😂

Let’s be professional procrastinators together yaaaaay I love doing nothing and leaving everything till the last minute so I can stress cry and worry about everything LOL xD I really hope you enjoyed it my love :3

Anonymous said: I'm buzzing for ISWY, I've had such a shitty time editing this essay and your update is giving me motivation

I’m so glad I can offer you the inspiration to keep editing your essay! You’ll do a good job my dear ^^

Anonymous said: That was such a good chapter!!! But this caught my attention, in a previous chapter, Jungkook mentioned not to let a human become pregnant because it will end badly for everyone? Did he decide it was okay since she was a domintor? Will she die? Will he change her? So many questions! Such a good story, I love it and I love you!

Ahh thank you so much and I love you too!! As for your questions my dear - as always, I never reveal spoilers so you will just have to live with your curiosity for the time being ;D I hope you can understand asdfg :3 Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day/night!!

@audreymv said: Yes Yes Yes. I love at the end especially  where they said "You" I can't so much. I love this and omg what is Yoongi actually wanting to do with the reader. Can't be good. God Smut and Fluff. Well this is just my lucky day and I just am so sad that this series is going to end soon. But so relieved and happy hopefully. God this makes me happy. You make me happy with what you do Sara. Thank you

I’m so happy you liked it c: AND HEY WHO SAID IT WAS GONNA END SOON? It ain’t over ‘till it’s over...and my god, nothing has even happened yet! :3 I really hope you’ll look forward to and enjoy what I have planned. I hope that it was be interesting, shocking and enjoyable all at the same time. I’m so excited to write it! And my dear, you make me happy because you’re happy. Thank you for always being amazing :)

Anonymous said: THAT CHAPTER WAS SO GOOOOOOD! I RECENTLY GOT MY FRIEND INTO BTS AND NOW WE LITERALLY JUST WAIT THE WHOLE WEEK FOR YOUR UPDATES!! THANKS FOR WRITING THIS WONDERFUL FANFIC! LOTS OF LOVE❤

YAAAAY THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIEND LOVE BTS AND READ MY SERIES :3 you’re so welcome and thank you for reading it and messaging me c:

Anonymous said: LOVE LOVE LOVE IWSY -anon who just read chp.23

Thank you so much for reading it and loving the story so far!! It means a lot to me :)

@mocking-butts said: IM SCREAMING AT THIS CHAPTER I CANT HANDLE THE FEEELS. I'm just going to go cry in a corner while waiting for next weeks update I'm in love with this story how do I properly live?

No don’t cry in a corner that’s not good! :c *hugs* eheh thank you so much for reading it dear ^^ I’m so happy you enjoyed it!

@vtstigmarmy said  Omg it's out! Finally! Its 2am and im hyped!!

Wow it was so late for you! :c I hope you managed to get to sleep after reading it, and thank you so much for staying up so late to read it too!! I hope you liked it!

@animeimmortal said: Oh that was hell of a chapter. Wow like this the smut was spot on and the "I will move mountains...swim an ocean for you" type of thing got me internally screaming for how much I liked it ^^ (so cheesy ^^) my mood went up 100% ❤❤❤  love you 😘

Ahhh I wish I could find someone who would say those words to me and mean them with all their heart ^^ I’m not a huge fan of cheesiness - I find it to be rather cringey most of the time but, when it’s heartfelt and when it’s right for the moment, I accept it :3 lol Ah I’m so glad the chapter could bring your mood up! I love you too and thank you so much :D

@ayedemi said: Iwsy is so good omg, but like vampires and human or half human, gettig kids, i hope it won't be as dramatic as Twilight omg 😂❤

Do not fear! There will be no Twilight fuckery in this story xD You can be sure of that :D thank you for reading love ^^

Anonymous said: Fuck... u NEED to create a TV show out of IWSY I would literally watch it over and over again... 😭 How I wish this could be real life..... 😍 Going through hard times I know I can always count on you xxxx

I would love to make IWSY into a TV show! Omg that would be so cool~ And I wish this world could be real life too....but, I don’t think this scene would be allowed to air on television (not before 9pm anyway lool) I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through hard times. Keep your chin up and keep doing your best, and I’m always cheering you on ^^ Thank you so much my love.

@theninjachan said: "Do I need to ask you a second time, sweetheart? Don’t you wish to please your Prince?”  I just busted a nUT I'M LEAVING PLANET EARTH GOODBYE

SAME GOODBYE GOODNIGHT WHEN WILL A PRINCE EVER WHISPER THAT INTO MY EAR FUCK STOP THE BUS LET ME OFF I

@sorrehbae said: Glad to know im not the only one whos obsessed with iwsy I legit have an alarm and set it in my schedule lmao  I dont even have alarms for school im- Thanks for creating a masterpiece Bye omg （⌒▽⌒)

Oh my god that’s so cute Cx YOU ARE SO CUTE LET ME HUG YOU ;; Thank you so much for enjoying IWSY, and thank you for reading th new update as well ^^

Anonymous said: It was amazing. I. cannot. live. THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BABBIIIEESSSSS?! But JK needs to turn Y/N because otherwise he will live much longer than she?! But which of the three scenarios (Vampire, Nothing happens, Die) will happen? AHHHH xxxxx UK anon

Baby talk yikes!! I wonder what will happen?! Ahh so many questions! Will Sara answer anything? heeeeeh c: Thank you so much for reading babe ^^

@mysr3 said: Saraa! I LOVE YoU and MAD at YoU at the same time! So GoOd OMG I did feel hot and bothered! Your writing indeed hit my emotional spot again! JK shows who the BOSS here! "I didn’t know what love was....My life was but a barren wasteland…until you walked into it and shed your wonder upon it" ahh Tears at this whole thing- so touching 😭 Give you lot of Hugs and KiSses Thank you Love! Thought last week I struggled hard enough😒 this week seems to be worse! Luv Ya 💖

Nooo don’t be mad at me why!? :3 Lots of hugs and kisses for you too - and I really hope that this week won’t be as bad as last week. Please stay strong okay? You can really get through everything because you are stronger than you think! You have survived all of your worst days so far...remember that ^^ I love you too and thank you so much for reading the chapter my dear :)

@deboracorreia26 said: I'm definitely out of words after this love confession. IWSY is absolutely my favorite fanfic ever, and you are my favorite writer. Love you!

I’m so happy you liked his gentle pillow talk c: *blushes* thank you so much beautiful - thank you for reading the new chapter and I love you too!

Anonymous said: Last week I was like "hmm chapter 22 and there hasn't been another smut scene yet... Suspicious." And then when I was reading it I was like "OOOOOH JUNGKOOK IS MAD I BET THERE'S GONNA BE SOME THINGS GOING ON NEXT CHAPTER....." And then at the end of the chapter I was like "YEAH MAN I CALLED IT THERE'S GONNA BE SOME ~spicy~ SCENES NEXT CHAPTER!" And now I read it and JEEZ LOUISE WAS THAT SOMETHING. Also THE END HAS ME SQUEALING ITS SO CUTE AHH Thank you for writing IWSY it is truly amazing! ~Ro❤️

Hiya Ro! I’m glad you enjoyed the much needed 3rd smut scene in this series :3 muhaha~ Thank you very much for reading it, as it is my pleasure to write it and post it! ^^ Have an awesome day my dear!

Anonymous said: Me trying to be calm after reading IWSY pr 23: well shit, sara... tbh you just made me love you like a billion times more . I applaud you once again on your exceptional writing. Me in all honestly after reading it: HOT DAMN THAT WAS PRETTY JUICY! I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT JUNGKOOK WAS GOING TO PROPOSE AFTER HIS LITTLE SPEECH TOWARDS THE END! anyways... ;'-' please take care of yourself, and you have once again impressed me with your writing! <3 - army anon

But I love you way more, so c: Hello Army Anon! You’re welcome for the hot, sexy juiciness~~ And oh my god a post-sex proposal :3 Prince Jungkook is so romantic, right? :3 I’ll do my best my love! Make sure you take care of yourself too and thank you so much for reading the new chapter :3

Anonymous said: I'm not crying. You are.

You’re not wrong

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARAAA!!! it was so GOOOOOOD!!

THANK YOU MY LOVE!!!

Anonymous said: Idk how many words that chapter was but it was basically en entire chapter of pure smut and I'm happy I waited to read it till I got home because otherwise I'd be fanning my face at school.

I believe it was around 5k words? So, considerably less than the previous chapters but still substantially full! Oh god yes you made a wise decision to wait until you got home :3 Thank you so much for reading it and I’m glad you enjoyed it my love :3

@coppertopging said: AHHHHHHHH why do you do this to us!!! You're a heartbreaker! She's gonna get pregnant! And then Yoongi's gonna get her!!! I just feel it... dammit, woman!

Ahhh you think you have it all sussed out...*giggles* Thank you for reading baby!

Anonymous said: Wow look at all the smutty goodness in that new chapter of IWSY like I was legit jumping on my bed and throwing my phone 😂

All le smutty goodness yay :3 LOL thank you so much for reading it and enjoying it?! :3

Anonymous said: Seriously, "I won't stop you'' is AMAZING -cat anon

Hi cat anon! Thank you so much for liking I Won’t Stop You! :3

@noceurash said: BLESSS , i won't stop you is a blessing to this world. As always ~~ Ily and have a good day today (or tomorrow pft ) ♡♡♡♡ . You're one of my favorite blogs tbh haha ♡

You’re so sweet aghsgksjnds thank you so much for your kind words. I love you too and I hope you have an amazing day or night as well my dear! Take care and thank you so much for reading :3

Anonymous said: I feel emotionally attacked. The most recent update of IWSY hit me in the feels highkey. You never fail to impress :) <3

I feel so happy when you tell me that I impressed you, thank you so much for that sweetie :) And you’re welcome for feeling emotionally attacked! It was my pleasure ~~~

@kookies-hoe said: OH MY GAWDDDDDDD HOW CAN SMUT BE SO CUTEAND FLUFFY AND SEXY AT THE SAME TIME 😭😭😭 Thank you for the new part! Cant wait for 24~ 💕❤

I think the best sexy time is sexy time that is both smutty and fluffy :3 Hehe~ You’re welcome and thank you so much for reading it my love!!

Anonymous said: Omg yassssss THEY BUMPED UGLIES. THIS WAS WHAT I NEEDED. OMFG IM SO HAPPY. LIKE JUNGKOOK IS SO DADDY AND IM A SINNNER BUT I CANT HELP IT. THAT BOY DOES THINGS TO ME. Y/n was getting that good 🍆!  😏😏😏.  But on another note I'm so depressed I can't go to see jungkook this weekend. But I still love him from a far and one day Ima touch him. Mom I hope you've been doing well. My surgery went great and I'm doing fine. It wasn't a big procedure. I love you so much. 💜 ~LilKookieAnon

Hello LilKookieAnon! YES LMAO THEY BUMPED UGLIES and my dear I am so happy that your surgery went well. I hope you are recovering nicely and taking plenty of time to rest and restore your energy! ^^ I’m sorry you can’t go and see BTS :( But I know that one day you will, never give up okay?! I love you so much too and thank you once again for reading the chapter ^^ Take care of yourself okay?

Anonymous said: IWSY, incredible yet again. I will never get over how every single chapter leaves me satisfied AND anticipating the next one! You've really developed the plot so nicely. It's overall one of the best of its kind in my opinion. Keep up the fantastic work Sara! Can't wait for next Tuesday!!! (Also, "I would want no other woman to mother my children..." I'm DED) - 종달새 <3

‘One of the best of it’s kind’ - you are far too sweet, I’m crying at that :c I’m so happy that you like the plot and you’re enjoying the storyline, I really wanted to create a world that everyone can enjoy! And I KNOW RIGHT GOD DAMN IT I HURT MYSELF WITH THAT LINE GOODNIGHT lmao thank you my dear ^^

Anonymous said: IWSY update is the only thing that keeps me going on Tuesday

I’m so happy that it keeps you going *hugs*

Anonymous said: Omg I completely forgot that today IWSY was going to be posted like it was raining earlier and I was making a paper mache(?) piñata with a couple friends but like YES THE SMUT IT WAS GREAT AND SO IS YOUR WRITING

Ooooh paper mache making is so fun! Invite me next time pls :c hehe ^^ Thank you so much for liking and reading the chapter my love :3

@jiyongyu said: There are only a few fics that I absolutely adore and IWSY is one of them. Seriously, I'm always waiting for Tuesday to roll around because I can't wait for the next chapter haha! Thank you for writing such an interesting horror-esque fic! As a fellow horror fan, it's quite refreshing ^^ Anyway KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK ILYYYY ♥

Thank you so much for saying that :) It seriously makes my heart go all dokidoki lmao ~ (I don’t know how to say that in english? haha) I’m so happy that you like my addition to the horror fic genre! That means so much to me~ I will keep doing my best and I love you too ;3

Anonymous said: Idk how you managed to turn to atmosphere of the room from dom!jungkook to something all lovey dicey is beyond me 👏🏼

I really wanted to portray the healthiness of their relationship. Like, he’s definitely a dom but he’s how a dom should be in those type of bedroom adventures~ He is of course authoritative and likes to be in control, but he reads her body language and is attentive to her needs and security and of course, he loves her ^^ I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :3 Thank you dear!

@jynxy24 Is it wrong that i'm reading this but, I'm like, 14? Sara, you make the best of smut😂 But, I should really stop reading smut what is wrong with me😳 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR A GREAT CHAPTER!! And also, I love the new theme! :3 Have a great day, Sara. Stay awesome!!

JYNxY YOU’RE 14 OH MY GOD YOU POOR CHILD I’M SO SORRY LMAO but tbh, I *do* have it marked as MATURE and there is a warning on it :P I can’t stop minors from reading what I write, just as long as you are mature enough in your self and you are sensible and safe in the real world when you make your own decisions ^^ Thank you so much for loving the new theme! And thank you for reading the new chaptER YOU BAD CHILD (kidding lol) but I think you are mature and sensible so ^^

@ananyak26 said: Part 23 was damn sexy! The last part was so beautiful though! Omg Jungkook's love .. It just killed me! Why can't there be more guys like himxD.. Jk anyway. Beautiful writing as usual

There are no guys like him - only Vampires ;D muahaha(my jokes are so bad forgive me but I try) lol xD THANK YOU so much my love, I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter :) That means so much to me ^^

@toxic-seoul said: OH MAH LAWD OKAY THAT WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS. oh god seriously tho I really love Jungkook in this. Yoongi better back the fuck off. I take back all words I said about Yoongi taking reader away & wooing her even tho he's my bias. But.. u kno.. he did kill her parents.. like.. that's a deal breaker. I still love him in this tho like ugh kill me as well. Jungkook and reader are just 2 god damn cute & 2 invested in each other like I can't. Sara ur killing me here & I love it. Keep killing me pls lmao

LOL BACKPEDDLE FROM WANTING YOONGI TO FUCC YOU AGAINST A WALL like fuck lmao~~ they are pretty much 100% invested in each other now, you’re absolutely right. But...I wonder. c: You’re welcome for the death and the smut hehe ^^ thank you so much for reading it and always being super amazing. Take care and have an awesome day love!

Anonymous said: Chapter 23 was some kinky shit

You’re welcome ;D

Anonymous said: I have never liked Vampire!AU or supernatural au but damn WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME !! I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK MAN OMFG 😭😭😩😩🖤🖤🔥 love your writing 🖤🖤 stay healthy and amazing 🖤🖤

That means so much to me!! Thank you for liking my addition to this type of AU :3 Thank you so much and I hope you will stay healthy and take care of yourself too my dear :)

Anonymous said: hello! I am writing just to thank you for writing the jungkook vampire fanfic!!! I just found it yesterday and I read the entire series already!! seriously looking forward for the next chapter. you write so well, I think you can do well as a legit story writer HAHHAA. anyways thanks for all the hard work and for satisfying my fantasies!! <3 u and <3 kookie!!

Thank you very much for writing to me and letting me know! Ahh you read it all in such a short space of time?! *cries* thank you!! you’re so sweet and I hope you will look forward to the rest of the series too my dear. I love you and Kookie as well! Take care love ^^

@wanda-rog said: "If it happens, it happens" JUNKOOK BEFORE IT HAPPENS omg im so exited for the next chapter!!

Hehehe :3 Thank you for being excited for the next chapter! And thank you for reading this chapter too ^^

[chelsorz07]

you know it’s not forever

I think I’m gonna stop doing these soon, since it’s been at least a year since I started the series and I have to have repeated some already. But for tonight I have nothing else to do. Also for anyone who actually cares I’m working on a fic...it’s not my first but it will be the first one I finish and publish so keep an eye out in the next couple days, Dean/Cas fans ♥

2010/2018

What's one of your locked text messages? a line from a justin bieber song that sarah sent me haha Don’t have any. This phone doesn’t delete shit apparently. Where is the one boy/girl you want to see the most right now? at this very moment i would grow a left nut just so i could give it away if it gave me the opportunity to kick it with mah weskimo. Texas. Do you think your last ex deserves to die? i don't think about him, one way or the other. I definitely do not think that. He thinks that. And I try to convince him every day that he’s wrong, just like he does for me. Who was the last person you slept in the same bed with? david. Dave but he’s been gone for two weeks. Would you be mad if your best friend dated the person you like? probably, considering the person i like is my boyfriend. If my best friend dated my husband, yeah that’d be an issue. She never would though. She doesn’t even like him as a person lol Is anyone over- protective of you? my parents used to be but i think they've decided to chill for the most part. Nobody cares that much about me. Plans for tomorrow? babysitting, and hopefully walmart to get shirts to tie-dye for the summer set. Laundry, Netflix, hopefully finishing the story I’m writing. I really suck at dialogue. Have you made a mistake in the past week? i make mistakes by the hour. Constantly. I don’t recall a specific one though. Do you know anyone named Joshua? yeppp. A couple. Nobody I’ve spoken to in years. Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? more than likely. I’d like to hope so. If my marriage falls apart in the next four months I will most definitely kill myself. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? for sure. I’d do it for free. What were you doing at 7:00 AM? sleeping. Watching TWD and playing solitaire on my phone. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months? it's been almost a year. Oh my god. Do you think two people can last forever? perhaps. I have yet to see it happen. Would you put yesterday on repeat and live it forever? nah. No, yesterday sucked. Work was dead and with nothing to do my feet hurt like hell, even with medical grade compression socks on. Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? yeah. Yup. I would never go near that person again. I was 19 and stupid and he was a filthy liar. What did you do today? watched maranda, cleaned up the house a little. that's pretty much it. Slept mostly. Picked up the living room. Watched tv. Looked at real estate listings. Talked to my dad. It was a decent day. Last time you laughed super hard? no idea. i laugh all the time. Can’t remember. I tend not to laugh really hard when I’m alone. Which I usually am. Do you find smoking unattractive? nope. but it sucks being around all my friends who smoke when i quit two and a half months ago. It probably is but I’m a chain smoker so I don’t really care. How many people do you fully trust? haha...well...used to be one. now i'm not sure i can completely trust anyone. Still one. Although the person is different. Nobody will ever have my back as much as my dad does. Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? i doubt it. Um...randos at the Pittsburgh airport. Did anyone call you pretty recently? ehh...don't think so. The last person to call me pretty was me. But Mike agreed so I guess him lol Do you look decent when you wake up? depends how my previous night went. That’s a valid answer. I look shitty without makeup no matter what. If my makeup from the previous day isn’t all fucked up after I sleep then I still look good. Are you afraid of falling in love? no. If I was it’d be way too late. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? i'd probably feel exactly the same way i felt when i woke up from a really bad dream about him yesterday morning. There would be violence involved. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? um...i don't believe so. I don’t drink anymore. There are a couple bottles of whiskey in my freezer that haven’t been touched in years, that’s about it. when was the last time you were at the beach? never. Still never. Think back to September, were you in a relationship? yep. I’ve been in a relationship for the past eight Septembers. Almost nine. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? i wouldn't. Last half of 2010, first half of 2011. Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand? most people. Fucking BARB. A lady I work with. She’s so irritating. I’ve even had customers complain to me about her voice, saying they want me to check them out instead. Who was the last person to give you a hug? maranda. Dave. What was the first thing you thought this morning? aksdfmkaoiewhfjdnf;h. “Wtf time is it?” It was actually almost 3pm. But I don’t go to bed till the morning so. What is something that you disliked about your day? uh. everything. The fact that I was pain free most of the day and now I’m not. Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a B? How many? nope. Not that I recall.

What about T? How many? no. Nope. What do you currently hear right now? commercials. Carl Grimes. And my cat snoring. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? many times. Yep. Awkwardsauce. Who was your last text from? chele. My dad. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up today? no. Nope, just a voicemail from my pharmacy. Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? weather. Ooh...those are my two biggest fears sooo...Idk if I could pick. Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? computer. Computer for sure. Even with Swype. If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? i wouldn't go that's for sure...but i'd figure out a way to make money off of it. I stand by that. In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? love. of course sometimes when i say i hate someone, it's just because i don't know how to tell them i love them. and furthermore, feeling like i hate someone can make me love them even more. Love. I don’t have the energy for hatred anymore. But I’ll never stop loving what I love. Would you rather sleep for 3 days, or stay awake for 3 days? sleeeeeeeep. Honestly...I don’t know now. I do love my sleep. And I’m lucky to do it for three hours at a time, let alone three days. But I’m also the world’s biggest night owl and am most productive when I should be sleeping. What time did you go to sleep last night? 5am this morning. Like 9am? I don’t remember. When was the last time you had starbucks? never have, never will. I broke my vow and had it exactly one time, a couple years ago. But I refuse to pay five dollars for coffee ever again. Timmy Ho’s and Sheetz are better and half the price. If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? i don't believe in wishes. Money. What's the tenth text in your inbox say? "is nellie home?" from my mom. “I’m just happy you actually did something about it. Suppose I should return the favor and look into this now.” From Dave, about our respective health issues. Did you stand on your tippy-toes when you had your last kiss? for some reason i always do, even though he's only an inch taller than i am. I must have broken that habit somewhere along the way, because no, I didn’t. Do you like the same person you did a month ago? i've liked the same person for two years. That will never change. Would it be weird if the last person you kissed called you? yeah, cuz he's at work. and he almost never actually calls. He doesn’t call unless something is wrong.  Kissed somebody whose name starts with a C T D or J? d. First name D, last name C, middle name J. All different people. Do you ever think about the past? i think about past, present, and future. Always. Do you believe exes can be friends? sometimes. They most certainly can. Do you currently have a hickey, if so where? i've never had one. Only guy who ever gave me a hickey was a complete tool and I only liked him for his southern accent. He came along a few months after the last time I took this survey, when I was on the rebound. Last night you felt? meh. Bored and in pain. What's your favorite thing to do when you're bored? play solitaire. Read fanfic or watch Youtube. In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence? yup. I haven’t. It’s been months since I even drank a beer. Does anyone know your password besides you? no. Dave knows a couple of them. What're you wearing right now? pajamas and a hoodie. Lilo & Stitch pajama pants, Supernatural Day 2017 shirt. The Hot Topical makes a lot of money from me. What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead? don't know, don't care. i never liked michael jackson. That. Do you want to see somebody right now? yes. Several people. When's the last time you cried? daily. Um...a couple days ago at work because I was in pain. And probably the same day because I was watching Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life and it always makes me cry. Would you rather sing or dance in front of 100,000 people? i'd do both. I don’t want to do anything in front of that many people. But I could sing better than I could dance. Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math? both. I sucked at both. I was strictly an English and Art kinda gal. Will you regret your next kiss? no. they're so few and far between i can't regret them. not that i would anyway. No way in hell. I relish the ones I can get. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? yeah but he doesn't ever seem to care. All the time. Everything makes me cry. Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? hopefully i'll get to see him tonight or tomorrow night when he gets done working, since i won't see him on his day off this week. Sometime between the hours of 4 and 7am next Thursday.  Your boyfriend buys you flowers, you say? he's not that stupid. he knows i hate flowers. Still true, except he’s my husband now. Do you understand football? understand it and love it. The fooseball is life. I’m so freaking excited for the draft tomorrow. Is the last person you kissed mad at you? he'd have to care to be mad. Our last conversation was about travel and home buying so probably not. The person you have the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? shut up. i'm terrified of that more than anything, because he seems to like to do dumb shit that could get him killed. and i've been having tons of dreams about it lately. What the hell kind of question is that? I’m not a sociopath. Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them in a car? yes. Our first kiss was in a car. Well not the first kiss but that’s what we spent the entire rest of that night doing lol...There have been many car kisses since then as well. Have you kissed more than ten people this year? one person. Just one. Would you ever date someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited attitude? no. looks don't matter as much as personality. I didn’t know he was conceited at the time but no, I never would again. Like I said, dude was a tool. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended? more like proud. I AM a bitch. I own it. Do you know a few people that smoke weed? a few? i know less people who DON'T smoke weed. Everybody smokes weed anymore. Except like my parents. Was this the best summer of your life? it hasn't happened yet. but last summer was the best so far. For the record, the summer of 2010 was the worst of my life. And last summer was really good for the sole reason of my birthday week, where I met All Time Low and got to spend it back home with my family and friends. Do you think relationships are even worth it? some are. Hope so. Medicine, fine arts, or law? arts. Same. Have you been through driver's ed yet? safety ed...like six years ago. i still don't have my license though. We didn’t have “driver’s ed”. Safety ed was like six weeks of basics but there was never any practice driving or anything like that. I didn’t get my license till I was almost 23. What do you think about people who party a lot? i think i want to be invited? If they’re my age, they need to grow the hell up. If they’re my sister’s age, I’m sure most of them will get sick of it eventually like I did. When was the last time you dyed your hair? almost a year ago...i've been really lazy with it lately. A little over a month ago? It’s orange with black ombre. I like the concept but next time I’m getting it done professionally. Is there a movie you've seen countless times? more than one. Several. I tend to watch most things I like over and over again instead of watching new things. What do you need to go shopping for? i need to stop shopping. Haha...that’s a good answer. But I do need some more compression socks. Have you ever read Twilight? no. Yes, and dammit, I liked it. I still curse myself for that. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yeah. Nah, I’ll talk about anything. I’m pretty self-centered. If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert? hell yes i love her. I’d be there with bells on. Meet anybody new this week? nope. but i'm going to on wednesday. Idk if customers at work count. I don’t leave my house unless it’s for that. Do you dislike anyone at this moment in time? everyone. Yeah, the cunt that thought it’d be cool to cheat on her boyfriend with my best friend and then screw him over as well. Any up coming events you're excited about? the concert on wednesday, and my birthday. Going home next week and house shopping. Does anyone hate you? sure. I guess so. Don’t matter to me.