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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years ago

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Another Place: Lev and Danny

I just had this thought and had to go with it. Consider this the final (maybe? Probably not, I am having too much fun) installment of this, this, and this involving Danny becoming friends with @untilthepainstarts‘s Lev as part of an online support group for trauma survivors, realizing the similarities in their experiences, and eventually meeting in person! Thanks, Dotty, for help with this one!

CW: Vaguely referenced past trauma/torture and noncon.

“Are you absolutely certain this is food?” Danny cocks his head, staring down at the plate that sat between them on the kitchen table.

Lev laughs in response, shaking his head, a bit of dark hair falling over his face as he pushes the plate just a little closer, a soft scrape along the surface. “I promise it is! I promise. If you’re here, you have to try vegemite, right? It’s basically our national food.”

“What is it?” Danny leans in closer, his eyes slightly crossed, as he focused on the single piece of toast sitting in front of him, with a light spread of something incredibly dark brown, vaguely shiny, and a touch nerve-wracking. He looks up at Lev like a child looking up at their mother over a plateful of steamed broccoli sprouts, and Lev laughs again, hardly able to stop himself.

“I just said, it’s vegemite-”

“No, I know you said that, but, um, what… what is vegemite? It looks like chocolate-”

“Tell him that’s what it is,” Graham calls from the couch, where he and Nate had been sharing stories in low voices the other two couldn’t quite hear. There’s a grin on his face that tells Danny without having to try a bite that it definitely isn’t “Tell him it’s chocolate.”

“No!” Lev puts on an expression of mock anger. “I’d never be mean like that! And look, you’ve made him all red.” He gestures with the vegemite-covered butter knife he’s holding in one hand at Danny, who has indeed gone a bit red, his scars paler than his skin in the moment, freckles darker than ever.

He’d come into the air conditioned apartment and pulled on a zip-up over his already-long-sleeved shirt, and to his relief neither Lev nor Graham said a thing. So he’s huddled up in it now, the closest he gets to warm, about to eat something utterly unrecognizable.

“No, I should have… I should probably know what it, um, is,” Danny mumbles, feeling kind of stupid for thinking it looked like chocolate at first.

There’s a low murmur, Nate speaking to Graham, Graham speaking back. Then Graham calls out, “I was just teasing you a bit, yeah, Danny? Sorry. We get it basically in our bottles, here, it’s kind of a novelty when someone doesn’t know right off.”

Danny doesn’t become any less red, but he likes the way Graham is always ready to apologize and doesn’t think Danny is weird for being tripped up, or embarrassed, or too shy to ask things on his own.

“It’s made of yeast,” Lev says, smoothly, as though the moment hadn’t happened, and Danny likes that, too. Move right past things, and let Danny pretend he’s better at this than he is. “Yeast mixed with… a bunch. Look, give it a try, it’s… salty.”

“Bit bitter,” Graham added.

Danny frowns. He reaches up and pokes at the side of the toast with one finger. “And you put it on toast? Like jam?”

“I can sense that you feel some trepidation here,” Lev says, not quite teasing. “Look, give it one bite, yeah? Then you can say you tried vegemite, you’re a proper Australian tourist then.”

“Can I ask you something?” Danny asks, picking the toast up with both hands If Lev’s eyes drop to the scarring that is dug so deeply into the backs of his hands, it’s not obvious, and Danny isn’t watching for it any longer.

He likes their apartment - it feels like his, a little, all cozy and all the signs of two people making a home together. It feels like people who know how much it means to get the chance. Knowing each other’s stories means that all the questions that normally ring so loud in Danny he can’t think are much quieter, because he already has the answers.

Did you ever get scared to sleep in the bed? - Yes, at first, less with time

Are you ever afraid that everyone knows? - Yes. That never fully leaves

Do you ever wonder, during, if you like something because he made you like it? - Yes, oh God, you don’t know what it means to have someone else ask that question, Chem

L, I’m kind of scared to ask this one - go on, ask, Chem, we’re friends here and you know I won’t lie to you, this place means something, being here - okay. do you still dream about him all the time and it’s not always a nightmare?

It had taken Lev two days to answer that one.

Then, finally, just when Danny had thought he’d fucked up and lost his first friend who really understood him before they’d ever even learned each other’s name, L had sent his reply. Can I tell you about the dreams? I can’t tell Bond.

Bond - L’s name for his partner, on the message board, and Graham Pierce might be the opposite of James Bond but Danny kind of liked the joke, anyway. He’d just called Nate the Badass, as in the Badass is ready for dinner, got to go.

Nate had hated that nickname. Danny used it anyway.

Sitting in Lev’s apartment, about to bite into what he’s fairly certain smells weirdly like soy sauce, he feels better than he feels anywhere else but his own home. In a place where everyone knows, everyone has lived it. There’s a shorthand they can all rely on with each other. There’s comfort in that.

Danny takes the bite, and it’s… there, in his mouth, and yes, salty and bitter definitely describe it. His very American brain is screaming at him that jam goes on toast, or peanut butter, something sweet and not this, not at all, get it out. Lev watches him with a smile, humor sparkling in his dark eyes, head slightly tilted to the side.

If Danny weren’t wearing a wedding ring on his left finger, and Lev weren’t head over heels for Graham Pierce, he could have flirted with Lev, he thinks. Well, if he weren’t also so traumatized he’d be terrified of the very idea.

Danny manages to swallow the bite, which feels like it gets lodged halfway down his throat just to spite him.

“Well?” Lev asks, flash of white teeth in his smile this time.

“Yeah, how is it?” Graham calls from the couch.

“… can I, um, have a beer, please?” Danny asks, and both of them laugh, Lev actually clapping his hands together and nearly resting his head on the table, he’s laughing so hard. Danny’s whole face flushes red, and he feels a little humiliated - look at the fucky American, can’t eat vegemite - but there’s too much genuine light and kindness in Lev’s face for the feeling to do more than come and go.

“I’m sorry, Danny, we’re sort of nationally terrible about doing that to Americans. Pretty sure it’s a rite of passage.” Lev gets up to look into the fridge, grabbing a couple of bottles of beer out. “Apparently we’ll find some brown sludge that sticks around after making yeast and our first thought isn’t ‘oh, that looks like engine oil’ but ‘that looks like it’d be nice on toast’. But we’re a country that eats kangaroo steak, so…”

Danny grins at that, taking the opened beer when Lev holds it out to him. “Thank you for giving me beer,” He says, automatically, some part of him briefly gone and then back again. “I am grateful for every gift I am given, and every breath-”

He goes still, for a fraction of a second the apartment had… shifted, and been somewhere else. Dark eyes had been colorless and shifting. His heart speeds up and he takes a deep breath, holds for five, lets it slowly out again.

My name is Daniel Michaelson, and Abraham Denner is dead.

Again.

My name is Daniel Michaelson and Abraham Denner is dead.

Lev has gone still, too, watching him closely, reading the change in posture and expression with the perfect knowledge of someone who has seen Danny’s expression on himself in the mirror. “You all right, Danny?”

Something in the tone of Lev’s voice catches Graham and Nate’s focus immediately and they turn nearly as one. It’d be funny if Danny wasn’t feeling unmoored, like he wasn’t supposed to be here, like this had never happened.

“Danny? Do y-you need a minute?” Nate asks, in a low voice.

“I’m fine,” Danny says, and his voice is a little weaker than he wants it to be. He hesitates, then takes a drink from the beer, swallowing again and again, half the bottle gone in one long go. He sets the bottle down with a thump on the table. The salty bitter taste is good, washed away by the darker taste of the stout. “I’m fine, guys. Really fine.”

“If you’re not really fine,” Lev says, softly, and his hand is on the table, a few inches away. No closer than this, but close enough for compassion to show. “This is the best place to be. You can be not-fine for a bit here, we do it all the time. I’m pretty much a professional at being not fine.”

Danny lets out a soft huff of laughter, and the world settles back into place, into time. “I promise I am. That, um, happens sometimes, still.”

There’s a shorthand they share. Questions already answered, knowledge that never needs to be spoken to be understood.

Sometimes I forget where I am, when I am. Do you do that, too? - Yes, on good days for a second or two, on bad days it feels like hours

Do you feel safe? - On the best days, I think I almost do.

Could you still say all the things he made you say? Do you remember them all? - Every fucking word. I could type it all out to you right now, without thinking.

“Happens to me, too,” Lev says lightly, as if they’re talking about having trouble remembering they left a book and not flashbacks and monsters that keep trying to climb out of the dark and back into their heads. “Tell me what you think of my idea, Danny - Fucked Up Support Group Movie Night? Only in person, this time?”

The world is solid and real around Danny as he smiles brightly, crinkling the scar at his nose, the lines dug into his jaw stretching a little. Nate, watching him from the couch, relaxes.

Graham, watching Nate, relaxes, too.

“That sounds fucking great, L. You pick.”

Lev grins, brightly. “I know exactly what I want to watch, Chem.”

Graham groans from the couch. “Damn it, I think I know what he’s going to pick. Is it-”

“The Mist!” Lev says, to Graham’s resulting good-natured groan.

“I haven’t seen that,” Danny says. “Is it good?”

“Is it-… yes. Yes, that’s what we’re watching tonight. Go on, get to the TV. I’ll bring you another beer. You two want them, too?”

Calls of assent and gratitude from the couch, and Danny settles into an armchair, folding his legs up and wrapping his arms around them, turning himself far smaller than it ever seems like he should be able to, drinking his beer and watching Lev bring the rest in to clink onto the coffee table, bottle opener beside them.

It’s nice to know someone else who knows without having to be told.

It’s nice for there to be another place in the world that feels safe.

It’s a good day.

He feels safe.

#untilthepainstarts #lev is my favorite #graham pierce #nate vandrum: a knight in soot-stained armor #daniel michaelson is a tall smol bean #fluff #I had to google how vegemite tastes tyvm #trauma recovery #actual fluff you guys #tw: brief flashback #references to noncon and torture #tw: ptsd

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bluemagic-girl · 5 years ago

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🔥Tom Hanks Roasted By Fans After Latest Coronavirus Update🔥

Our world continues to descend into a drawn-out montage of the opening of an apocalyptic horror movie, so we must all take solace where we can find it. As one of the nicest human beings alive, people were naturally concerned when Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson tested positive for the Coronavirus, but the pair have now been released from hospital and have gone into self-isolation to reduce the risk of infecting others. To keep fans updated, Hanks posted to his Twitter thanking those who helped them through their hospital stay, along with a cute toy kangaroo holding an Australian flag and some toast with Vegemite, a spread made from brewer’s yeast along with vegetable extract.

Thanks to the Helpers. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other. Hanx pic.twitter.com/09gCdvzGcO — Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) March 15, 2020

However, Australian fans have observed the thickness with which the latter has been applied, and are giving Hanks an education in just what is and isn’t acceptable in regards to its consumption, showing just how seriously the subject is taken.

I adore Tom Hanks and I’m sure he is in safe hands, but somebody desperately needs to help him with his Vegemite application. https://t.co/57gn3KhB9y — 𝐑𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐭 (@RonniSalt) March 15, 2020

Tom Hanks is going to die from Vegemite isn’t he. https://t.co/s2DCvKoWuy — Neil McMahon (@NeilMcMahon) March 15, 2020

Tom. What are you doing? No Australian puts that much vegemite on their toast. pic.twitter.com/bq6m6jY73R — Julie (@J0Marshll) March 15, 2020

Dear Mr Hanks,Here’s another helpful guide to eating Vegemite, sir.btw Get well soon! pic.twitter.com/98dIrXixxy — Peter Murphy (@PeterWMurphy1) March 15, 2020

‘Life is like a tube of Vegemite. Don’t try it all at once.’ — Sally Sara (@sallyjsara) March 15, 2020

Tom Hanks going Fuck Deep on the Vegemite, that’s a deadly dosage even for seasoned warriors pic.twitter.com/fPAnZvvZk6 — Adam (@KineticSquirrel) March 16, 2020

Great to hear you’re out of hospital @tomhanks FYI this is the correct vegemite/butter/toast ratio 🙏🏻 pic.twitter.com/BNnscbf3TQ — Tim Callanan (@MrTimCallanan) March 16, 2020

No no no no. @tomhanks and @RitaWilson I have given a step by step tutorial on my insta stories on how to not fuck up Vegemite. Please take this time to have a look. We are with you in this dark uncertain time. https://t.co/k0onI4FvUW — Celeste barber (@celestebarber_) March 16, 2020

And this is how we know Tom Hanks has never tried vegemite in his life. pic.twitter.com/guQXzjEdaC — Lee (@ElleKaySpread) March 16, 2020

I don’t know who needs to see this, but this is what Vegemite toast should look like. (I do know who needs to see this, it’s Tom Hanks) pic.twitter.com/BIfyAX4pil — Jean Burgess (@jeanburgess) March 16, 2020

The most notable comment came from Hanks’ son Colin, who seemed unsurprised at the news.

I’ve been saying “That’s way too much for one piece of toast.” to him for years. — Colin Hanks (@ColinHanks) March 16, 2020