#to you the immortal mizuha

[gachagon]

Mizuha is a loveless girl

And I literally sympathize with her so much because of it she’s my new favorite character. Hi, I’m gonna gush about Mizuha and her complications with love and receiving love so please don’t read this if you haven’t read up till at least chapter 140+ of the manga! There are massive spoilers ahead so be warned.

Mizuha’s complications with love are a really interesting topic that the manga brings up as apart of her character, because Mizuha herself believes that she knows what love is, and what it feels like, and why she wants it etc. But I personally think that Mizuha and Fushi are similar in that they both don’t really understand what “love” actually is.

Mizuha wants love from Fushi, but she doesn’t really know how to actually reciprocate those feelings. She herself doesn’t actually “love” Fushi in the way that she wants him to love her.

When Fushi confronts her in Chapter 139, she can’t even actually say she loves him, because the truth is that she just doesn’t feel that way about him. But despite that she still wants him to love her.

I feel like the parallels here between Mizuha and Kahaku are also kind of subtle because they both couldn’t tell Fushi they loved him to his face, even at their lowest points. Kahaku professed his love while he was dying in an act of self sacrifice, and we see here that Mizuha can’t even say she loves Fushi when he’s right there in front of her.

Now where I feel the difference in them starts is that when Kahaku said he loved Fushi he legitimately did love Fushi. But Mizuha isn’t actually in love with him, or she hasn’t gotten to that point yet. Both Kahaku and Mizuha struggled with their own feelings in regards to Fushi. Kahaku at first had to come to terms with the fact that he couldn’t just love Fushi in one form, but all of his forms including the one he was most comfortable in, and not the form he took of his old friend.

Mizuha on the other hand has to deal with the fact that Fushi just doesn’t understand love like normal people, and that he’s only really able to give love in a mostly platonic sense. Throughout this entire arc Fushi states multiple times that he “doesn’t really understand” love, and it’s clear he does have love for the people around him, it’s just not the “right” kind of love to solve all of their issues.

I think the most glaring example of this is in chapter 146, after Mizuha and Hanna have their fight. Fushi sees that she’s sobbing her eyes out and is clearly distraught, so he decides the best way to “solve” this issue is by handing her something he got from another friend.

Fushi at this point just wants Mizuha to be happy, and he believes the best way to do that is by making her life full of more friends and people who love her. But Fushi doesn’t understand that the love he provides her with is “the wrong” type of love.

Mizuha doesn’t want more friends, she has plenty of friends. She wants the kind of love that she believes only one person can give her, and she’s set her sights specifically on Fushi. Though Fushi just doesn’t understand why Mizuha, who he loves as his friend, doesn’t immediately have her problems solved by him just being there.

In fact immediately after Mizuha does this he imagines March taking the ball and being obsessed with it, and showing it off to all her friends at school because that is the kind of love Fushi can provide to other people. It’s the only kind he really gets.

Mizuha’s love is complicated and difficult and not something he has ever really had to give. When Kahaku was in love with him, it was easy to not see that or even acknowledge because throughout the war arc Kahaku didn’t make it plainly obvious that he loved Fushi in that way, or at least he didn’t make it obvious to Fushi.

Mizuha just sort of expects Fushi to “get it” one day if they do normal romantic things, like go on dates and hug and kiss. But even when Fushi does these things for her it is all still in the guise of “trying to make Mizuha happy” because he’s her friend and he cares about her. Fushi doesn’t love Mizuha in that way, but he does love her enough to at least pretend so that it’ll make her feel better.

Just like Kahaku, Mizuha is trying to “define” Fushi in a way that he just isn’t. Where as Kahaku was literally trying to make Fushi be a woman so he could marry him, Mizuha wants Fushi to be a normal “boy” so she can date him and give her the love she wants from him. But during the entire arc with Fushi and Kahaku, he makes it clear that gender, sexuality, and all of that other stuff just doesn’t really matter to him, and that he’ll literally just change depending on who he is at the time.

Lets also note how in this arc both Bon and Kahaku use She/Her pronouns for Fushi the entire time while he’s in Parona’s body. Their usage of these pronouns stop however when Fushi loses Parona’s form, and he has to be the nameless boy again. When he was Parona, they were both placing expectations onto Fushi that just didn’t mesh well with who he actually was as a person, including his own identity.

And Mizuha is doing the same thing just in the opposite direction. Another part of Mizuha’s character is her need to be “perfect”. She wants to be perfect to make her mother happy, but as time went on she slowly began to realize that there were parts of her life that were imperfect due to the people around her.

Her mother pushing her to be “perfect” and seeing her as nothing more than a mountain of achievements was a flaw that Mizuha couldn’t ignore.

Her peers are people who aren’t around her own skill level and that is a flaw she also couldn’t ignore.

And her own aging human body is “imperfect” because she realizes she doesn’t have enough time to keep her mother happy forever by achieving more great things. Mizuha can’t turn the clock back no matter how much she may want to, unlike Fushi who can just revert to any age he wants at will by switching forms. A part of Mizuha’s infatuation with Fushi is the fact that she believes that by being with him that she will gain something greater then “perfection”

However, Mizuha doesn’t want to “get” Fushi by falling in love with him. She expects Fushi to love her and for her to not have to reciprocate those feelings. If she gets Fushi to fall in love with her then she will “have” him. It’s why she repeatedly places the responsibility of learning about love on his shoulders so loosely. When they go on dates, she expects him to just understand or catch on eventually. Mizuha believes that just by being around Fushi he will eventually come to love her in the way that she wants, but it’s just not working.

She has no love to give to him, and the love that Fushi gives out freely is not enough because it’s the kind he shares with all people. We see how Mizuha is unable to truly give love freely with how she strings Hanna along knowing how Hanna feels about her.

When Hanna points out how her crush on Fushi is one sided, Mizuha just flat out says she’s wrong and that it’s actually the other way around.

Mizuha believes she is perfect and because of this she grows increasingly frustrated with the fact that she’s not able to get Fushi to love her. Fushi doesn’t know how to make her happy or what he should do to make her happy. And Mizuha doesn’t know what she has to do to get Fushi to love her. She is a “loveless” girl in the sense that she has none to give to others in the same way that Fushi has none to give to others.

Though where they differ is that Fushi loves his friends and his family, and that love alone is enough to make him be content for all eternity. For Mizuha it is not enough because she is running out of time. She doesn’t have eternity to get over this kind of feeling.

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 175

175.1 | 175.2

I love the chapter title. “A Perfect Plan.” Yeah, Fushi, lying to your friends (again) is a brilliant idea. That worked so well for you the last time you tried it.

This feels like a good time to go over Fushi’s tendency to lie in the present era, because now it’s continuing over into the wish era and at this point I would go as far as to call it an essential part of their character.

Chapter 125 "Secret Base"

It starts with Mizuha, and Fushi’s decision to omit the truth about what happened to Izumi for her peace of mind. During their conversation the night after Mizuha kills her mom, they have a pretty telling exchange about lies and their deeper meaning. Fushi reveals that they think lying to someone means that someone’s important to you. They don’t say why they think so, but I’m going out on a limb and assuming it’s how they justify the decisions Bon made in Renril.

Chapter 105 "Setting Sun"

Immediately after Fushi tells Mizuha what they think of lies, they then proceed to lie to her, setting up that she’s important to Fushi and laying the groundwork for their eventual conflict. Mizuha doesn’t go into why she thinks lying is bad, but in the case of her relationship with her mom, she was so upset at Izumi stealing her hair-tie and lying about it because it was an act of self-preservation. Sure, Izumi wouldn’t have lied if she didn’t love Mizuha, but her lie was—from Mizuha’s perspective—100% selfish. Fushi is already inclined to take Izumi’s side, because they’re doing the same thing she is. After all, they’re concerned about Mizuha because she’s Kahaku’s reincarnation.

Fushi continues to lie not just to Mizuha, but to their other friends. They don’t tell them about the knockers returning because they want their friends to remain blissfully ignorant of what’s really going on. They tell Yuuki that it’s because they promised their friends a peaceful world, and they don’t want to let them down.

Chapter 131 "Alongside Peace"

Ideally, Fushi would like to take on everything by themselves and spare everyone else the pain. Connecting all of this back to the events of the chapter which I am supposed to be discussing, Fushi lies with the intention to "protect." Reality doesn’t go away if they don’t tell their friends about it—it’s still going to hit them eventually—but given the option Fushi will always choose to pretend everything’s fine for just a little longer.

Chapter 175 "A Perfect Plan"

Chapter 1 "The Final One" (panels in achronological order)

The composition of some of the panels in this chapter are a callback to the scene where the nameless boy thinks the rustling of his fishing line means a human tripped it. He and Fushi both expect to see someone on the other side of the door, although they’re hoping for different things—the nameless boy hopes that someone will be there, Fushi hopes that no one will—and they both switch back to a happy denial when the moment is gone.

Like Fushi, the nameless boy is a liar. He kept up the appearance that everything was fine, and carried on imaginary conversations with Johann because admitting the truth would completely break him. In a way, he was lying out of necessity. But the only person he was lying to was himself.

In the same way, when Fushi lies to the people around them, they’re trying to paint over the truth with an idealized version of reality. They’re lying to themselves just as much as they’re lying to others.

Chapter 172 "Utopia"

Earlier in the wish era, when one of the lacking dies in front of them, what Fushi says when reassuring him reveals more about what they would find comforting in this situation. Similarly, when Fushi lies to their friends about what’s going on with the knockers or Mizuha’s clones, they’re projecting what they wish happened over what actually happened. Fushi doesn’t want to say that the clones are dead, because theoretically they could have stopped the massacre. They especially don’t want to disappoint the doll. Hence the lie that they choose to go with, about all of 32’s friends remembering her.

In terms of whether Fushi’s lying is selfish or not, well. That’s not a distinction that matters in any way. Fushi is doing what’s best for themselves, but they only go through with it because they genuinely believe that’s it’s the best for the people they’re lying to as well. They’re just… not always right about that.

Chapter 175 "A Perfect Plan"

Moving on to the second half of the chapter—which I don’t have nearly as much to say about—this is our introduction to how Fushi uses Yuuki’s form now that he’s acquired it. Immediately I wonder what would happen if Fushi lost Yuuki’s form. It’s clear just from what we saw in this chapter that their memories of Yuuki have become a core part of Fushi’s decision-making process. “What would Yuuki want?” The wish era is the world that Yuuki built, of course Fushi is unwilling to disrupt it even thought they're familiar with its flaws. Maybe that'll change if they lose his form—or if they realize that this world isn't what Yuuki would have wanted.

It seems like most of Fushi’s friends don’t approve of their insistence on pacifism. Tonari and Messar are just tired of it, Bon and Hylo don’t really understand. It’s sort of ironic, since Fushi wanted to create a peaceful world for their friends to live in, that most of them don’t value peace all that much. What they value more is their life with Fushi. A peaceful world has been Fushi’s dream since Takunaha, and they believe everyone else wants it as much as they do. Kind of like the way they lie assuming everyone wants that kind of treatment. Just tied it all together, bam.

[tonariofjananda]

Happy Birthday Mizuha!!! 4/6

(I’m a little late to the party sorry 💔)

[agrust-art]

[tonariofjananda]

I don’t have a Kahaku playlist myself but I was thinking earlier that ‘A Pearl’ by Mitski feels like Fushi’s about Kahaku during the modern arc 🙋‍♀️

sorry i started listening to this song on repeat at the exact same time i started going crazy insane about kahaku and i cannot stop thinking

[kafkaoftherubbles]

Crack-ass Hypotheses Record #1/ 致命脑洞记录 (一） 

Eko has her clay pot. I have my crackpot.

This is where I gather my current To Your Eternity hypotheses and speculations that are wild (low probability) and have minimal-to-no concrete in-lore evidence or arguments per what the story currently shows. Over time, some might get promoted to formal hypotheses (IPA pronounciation: ˈram-bəl) if the evidence pools to its favor, but for now, take 'em with the same copious amount of salt as needed to make marinated Nokkers to serve unsuspecting Human Nokkers. Yum! 

Dolly has 32's brainwaves, including a copy of her consciousness/personality (at the time of her copying), uploaded into its AI module. It is still loading in the background. 

Dolly has 32's brainwaves and some bits of Left Hand Nokker's consciousness. Ironically making it the latest Hayase "rebirth." 

Dolly has 32's brainwaves because she is (forcefully) uploaded into the doll to leave her actual vessel for Left Hand Nokker to completely dominate. Dolly is 32's last-ditch attempt to remain "human." 

Dolly is a hybrid of 32 and Left Hand Nokker's consciousness as the Left Hand Nokker's latest attempt to "be human." Hence the panel "I've become human." 

Dolly is the Beholder's Orb (a rather popular one in the fandom as it stands, but it's personally placed rather low on my probability scale) 

AD and 32 (+ other Mizuha clones) had a very important relationship. 

AD was one of the Mizuha executors. 

 All Kaibara's most dirty-working executors have no stars. 

AD is frequently depicted as wearing goggles because (1) he has soft expressive eyes which, despite the intimidating physique, can easily betray his emotions. (2) his eyes are distinctive enough that revealing it will make readers recognize his lineage or connection to past characters. (3) a fashion statement. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 

The Mizuha Massacre was conducted because Left Hand Nokker has finally perfected its vessel and it no longer needs these "Hayase's rebirths" anymore.  

Left Hand Nokker's perfect vessel is constructed or engineered from scratch the way designer babies like Andy are, but with materials from the Left Hand Nokker itself such that for the first time, it can say this is its body. This is its first time as an independent human being, "free" from Hayase and her "incarnations."

There could be a grand revelation of the true nature of Hayase's rebirths, which the Left Hand Nokker recounts to taunt/spite Fushi. Perhaps the revelation that the rebirths have always been arbitrary and socially constructed and that only the Left Hand Nokker is the constant. In other words, Kahaku could have just been a normal Yanome boy without all that baggage—and self-hatred—all along.  (very wild if true; for now, very low on the probability scale despite how much I like this one)

There will be a World Tour of sorts, with each immortal warrior's personal theme and life story coming to full circle and perhaps even dying. It will make this part of the Wish Era mirror the Previous Era's emotional gut punches.  

The tundra will return (whether it's still the tundra or not... well, climate change might beg to differ). The NAMELESS BOY (ooh, didn't need to capitalize that) and Joann both will return to the story in some form.  

As they are Fushi's earliest memories and life impetus, to the point of being pre-Hayase, they are the ones most connected to the Beholder's Orb. 

Nameless Boy is (or the base of) Fushi all along. It doesn't change the fact that Fushi is "everyone", though, but in some philosophical-spiritual-scientific-whatever-sticks way, Nameless Boy and Fushi are "one person."  (Also very wild if true, but also very low on the probability scale despite how much I like this one to bits)

Fushi would make do with what they promised Left Hand Nokker back in the Present Era and "become its vessel."  

That's it this time! I wonder what everyone's crackpot theories are as of now?  

Thank you for reading my ramble.  

[achairwithapandaonit]

fushi: have you tried mud ball

gugu probably: i don’t know what you’re talking about but of course i’ve tried mud ball

[gachagon]

I’m gonna work on a character analysis essay for Mizuha from To Your Eternity. It will be spoiler marked so don’t click on it if you haven’t read up until at least chapter 150+ of the Manga.

[kafkaoftherubble]

Pros:

scientist

doll rescuer

doll friend

judging from how she notices an abandoned doll and a somewhat abandoned person, observant

afford said abandoned people with her companionship

evolved from a long line of complicated people originating from a messed up individual and her complicated pet-tumor

has a name that means "mud". No grand and gorgeous and even "crystal clear water"-esque name. Just "mud."

Cons:

Don't know the full scope of her personality yet

I should not be showing favoritism yet I shall nat I SHALL NAT NOPE NOPE INVEST IN 32 DORO STOCKS!

-----

More Thoughts on the Mud Naming (i.e. why I love that she's called Doro):

Though not as grand or sweet or beautiful a name as, say, "Mizuha" and other water-related names in the Hayase bloodline, "Doro" is a name that, to me, is the most implicative of growth.

Of course, it's because I'm once again seeing this in a Buddhist view (Look, it's usually either this or The Scientist's view, man. You know what you signed up for when you read a ramble by KafkaoftheRubble, brutha.).

It's got to do with the lotus flower.

Lotuses are cherished in Indian religions and philosophy; Buddhism is one of them. It persists even after spreading to East Asia and other parts of the world.

The simplest reasoning is captured in an 11th-century (Song Dynasty) Chinese writer's text:

[...] 予独爱莲之出淤泥而不染——"I, however, especially love the lotus; for it grows from the mud untainted." (translation mine)

In Buddhism, the lotus symbolizes nibbana/nirvana/liberation (though also commonly translated as "enlightenment" in English). The mud symbolizes samsara—the cycle of suffering.

Buddhism stresses a lot on causal determinism. Everything is caused by something prior... not a chain of cause and effects, but a web. Nothing exists in a vacuum—not even something as "transcendent" as Nibbana. Hence, the mud is very important: the lotus flower, so "enlightened" as it were, cannot have arisen without the mud that sustained it.

In other words, enlightenment is caused by one who knows intimately what suffering is. One who is embedded in it. Suffering allows one to be awake and strive toward enlightenment and liberation.

There's a reason why in Buddhist thought, the human path [1] is the likeliest path to nibbana compared even to the Deva path. The Devas live in nice-ass places (comparable to heavens in other religions/myths), enjoy long-ass, nigh-immortal lives, and experience almost zero suffering. And yet it is precisely because of this minimal-to-no suffering that the Devas cannot become enlightened—they live in such comfort that they either mistakenly believe this is what life is all about, or that they experience zero impetus to strive for better.

[1] The human path, in comparison, has both shares of suffering and moments of comfort and pleasure. The latter is important because if one is constantly suffering, they cannot focus on anything beyond their pain... nor can they perform salutary actions (think how limited the moral choices would be for a person who's desperate and in pain). And yet, since the existence of suffering is also important if one hopes to be awake, the human path is the Middle Path among all Six Paths of Rebirth.

This is why I like Doro's name. Though a clone of Mizuha, strictly speaking, she can be considered as a rebirth of Hayase still. To me, her name hints at a humility and awareness the previous rebirths' names didn't imply. It's as if after so many rebirths and the cumulative growth contributed by each, "Hayase" is finally cognizant of "the mud" they are in.

And from the mud, a lotus may grow, liberated at last.

-

Thank you for reading my semi-ramble that I did not plan but came out of me anyway! Sidethoughts in tags!

i've only known her for one chapter and i'd die for her 🥺

[bestbonnist]

For the @yuriolympics2023 collab round, Destiny.

Nova @spectacular-supernova and I made this together. The title is "The Hands that Guide Us." It was so much fun to work on this piece with her, and I feel like we got to know each other a lot better as a result.

Close ups under the cut:

[indigo-july]

[bestbonnist]

Yes I love over-explaining things! I don't know what you're confused about so I'll start with the basic premise and keep going deeper.

Back in the present era, Yuuki started a company before he died called Kaibara which was dedicated to researching/developing knocker-related technology which was supposed to allow humans to choose whether or not they have a knocker and make it easier for knockers and humans to live together peacefully. Five hundred years later, Kaibara is now a mega corporation that has the authority of a government and a religion. At some point Kaibara merged with the Guardians even though Mizuha tried to disband them.

Kaibara's main product is their tag-chips, which are the form knockers take now. Getting them implanted is opt out, not opt in, and anyone who doesn't have one literally gets thrown out with the trash. Tag-chips can "make any wish come true!"™ so they're basically doing Fushi's job of making the world peaceful for them. The whole idea is that Kaibara has gone and done what Fushi and the knockers were talking about doing in the present era, which is make everyone's dreams a reality. And it kind of sucks.

Kaibara runs on a five-star system. It's basically like online ratings. Everyone can give "reviews" to other people that bump them up or down. A person's status depends on their stars, with five-star people being employed at Kaibara and one-star people being outcast from society. So whether or not you can get everything you want like they say depends on whether you've got stars or not. One way to jump to five stars is to catch one of the immortals. No one's supposed to bother Fushi because everyone knows about them now and believes they're a god, but their friends are supposed to be wicked people who tricked them. But whenever someone manages to capture one (usually Tonari) they'll just take poison and let Fushi resurrect them somewhere else. So Kaibara and the immortals have been stuck in a stalemate for a really long time.

Kaibara also had thirty-two Mizuha clones that they kept in a lab. They were creating these clones in an attempt to "bring a certain woman back to life" (probably Hayase, but not confirmed). Other than that, we don't know what kind of research the clones were doing, we just know that they were all killed over eight years ago. Whether the thirty-second clone was killed with the rest of them is the subject of much debate. Her tag-chip says that she's dead, and we've seen her dead body in a flashback, but one of the other characters believes she's still alive.

The biggest mystery of Kaibara is who their leader is. Even Kaibara employees on the ground don't really know what's happening. But Bon went exploring as a ghost, and found out that Kaibara headquarters is some sort of tree which produces human bodies and survives by consuming human flesh. It's strongly implied that one of the bodies growing in the tree has the knocker who was friends with Yuuki and Fushi in the present era inside of it. Other than that, we don't know anything about what its purpose is.

Right now Kaibara and the immortals are both trying to find the sphere. Kaibara's been looking for it for the past eight years, and Fushi and the others just want to get to it first so that Kaibara doesn't have that power in their hands. Fushi's also thinking of using the sphere's power to grant their friends' wishes again. But that plot-line's kind of been on the back-burner for a while because the story's more focused on the Mizuha clones right now.

Our main protagonist in this arc is the doll, who has lost her memories and whose origins are unknown. Things we know about the doll so far (this list is non-exhaustive, it's just everything I can think of that's important):

She was unconscious for eight years before the arc started.

She has 32's tag-chip around her neck.

When she's unconscious she sees snippets of the memories that she's forgotten.

She's been modified to have super strong punches.

At one point, she was 32's doll.

She produces human brainwaves.

She's in love with Abel.

At the time I'm writing this, the most recent chapter basically confirms that the doll has 32's memories inside her. How? Why? We don't know. But we'll find out.

Two more important characters new to this arc: Abel and Andy Day. Abel was born without a tag-chip, so he'll die of a heart disease in less than a year. Abel was friends with 32 when he was a kid, and also interacted with the doll. He believes that 32 is still alive and he was the one who gave the doll her tag-chip in the first place. How he got a hold of her tag-chip is also unclear. Andy is an eight year old kid who accidentally captured Tonari, became a Kaibara employee with five stars, and went on a power trip. Fushi and their friends were able to remove his tag-chip so he's no longer a threat and take him back with them, so now both Abel and Andy are sort of on the immortals' side. Temporarily. Abel is mostly on the doll's side, Andy has the moral backbone of an eclair but he loves his brother and has a crush on Tonari.

Something else important: the perspective of this arc is divided about 70/30 between the doll and Fushi, which stands out because Fushi is usually the one the story follows. When we do see things presented from their perspective, they often reveal a crucial bit of information that the other characters don't know. Based on this, it's likely that Fushi is more involved in what happened to 32 and the rest of the clones than they let on.

There are a lot of questions and very little answers. But I hope that gave you a better idea of what we do and don't know. So, ahem. What is the purpose of this arc within the greater story?

Fushi's longest-standing dream has been to "make everyone else's dreams come true." Fushi also shares this dream with the knockers who've been trying to come up with ways to make Paradise—the world with none of the physical constraints of reality that people go to when they die—on earth. The knockers want to remove pain and suffering, and if they can't take humans away from suffering, they'll take the suffering away.

To Your Eternity has already established that in this universe, experience is what makes people people. Fushi experiences painful and happy things, and they develop into a human. The knockers avoid these experiences, so they're not human—but the ones who come down to earth end up getting attached to their bodies or becoming afraid of death. So the question is: if pain and suffering are a part of human development, what happens when they get removed? Should they even be removed in the first place? If Fushi does find the sphere, what will they do with it?

i love the to your eternity cyberpunk arc so much but i will be damned if i actually understand with substance wtf is actually going on. feel free to overexplain it to me.

[mj-ackerman]

How do you think “to your enternity” is going to end? And/or is there anything specific you really want to see happen?

(I'm gonna use a he/him pronoun for Fushi, sorry if you're not comfortable with it)

I think To Your Eternity will end with Fushi replacing or taking over The Beholder's role as a god (or whatever he is). The beholder did say before that Fushi will replace him one day and now that he is becoming like a human, Fushi taking over his role is not impossible but as to what I really want to see to happen, I want to see Fushi live a normal life together with his friends and be happy, he deserves it, they all deserves it, maybe after he resolves the issue with Mizuha and the nokkers, The beholder did also said before that he will grant Fushi a freedom after everything is over, so I really want to see him living a normal life as a human. I also want to see Mizuha ending Hayase's legacy, I know it's kinda impossible right now knowing that the nokkers have taken control over her but I have high hopes that she will end this Fushi obsession that Hayase started.

[kisaragitomi]

fumetsu no anata e is my sapphic villain origin story.

all i'm saying is that we got robbed! we had frames from 120-124 like these

which really made me think they were going to go the wlw direction with mizuha and hanna..... but i got clowned so hard......

there's that kabedon scene. and this specific hugging scene. i'm just.

i thought it would mean the cycle of fushi obsession would finally stop with mizuha as the inheritor of hayase's blood... it still hurts to think about all the grievances that happened with kahak. i didn't want mizuha to go through what her ancestors went through at all.

this scene was also really soft:

and can we talk about their literal date????

i swear! this chapter seemed like it was straight out of a wlw manga. i remember reading bloom into you / yagate kimi ni naru with the same exact feeling.

(also hey that fashion sense... lgbt fashion spectrum...)

then this frame doomed me.

seeing hanna just hugging her back broke me internally ngl. the fact that she wants fushi while her best friend is just standing there embracing her made me wanna rage quit lmfao

i know at the end of the day the author likely never intended mizuha/hanna to be a thing but i think i'll be salty about it forever.

feel free to agree or disagree. i just really wanna see more canon wlw pairings in non-yuri/shoujo ai stuff..... :p (that's not fetishized or bait, obviously)

[fuzzbuns]

The dress was cute and i think they should get matching fits... thats all...

[gachagon]

Spoilers for FNAE/To Your Eternity Manga (pls dont read if you haven't finished it all}

I love this and want to add on that Kahaku loving fushi was also supposed to be a perfect answer for the new world arc with Mizuha, and how neither Fushi nor Mizuha really knew what "Love" was.

The Mizuha arc really revolves around lots of things, but mostly it asks the important but simple question of "What is love?" like, what do people do for love? What kind of love is the "right" kind? Is there more than one kind of love? And even "Does loving people make you human?" (which is a big one that Fushi really internalizes and questions throughout that arc)

Kahaku's love for Fushi is both an example and an answer for "what is love?" that Mizuha and Fushi both need. Love is not just when you are nice to someone, or compliment them or take them out on dates.

It is when you cook dinner for them, and learn about their boundaries, and pay attention to them when they are stretching themselves too thin.

its sacrificing yourself in a giant bowl of molten lava because you hate yourself THAT MUCH for hurting someone who can never even die, it's fighting an entire war for them and then literally slaughtering an entire room of immortal men just so that ONE PERSON can have a bit of a break from everything.

Kahaku, I feel like, embodies the answers to all those questions about love. And just making it so he "only ever 'loved' Fushi in Parona's body" takes all of the nuance out of the story and oversimplifies what is really a deep conversation about how love and what kind you have for other people does not really define you. Mizuha and Fushi both felt like the way they "loved" people wasn't enough, what with Mizuha feeling like she wasn't perfect enough, and Fushi wondering if the way he loves people is "enough" to even consider himself a human like his friends.

And I love FNAE for doing this with Fushi, Mizuha, and Kahaku because the story doesn't end with Mizuha and Fushi becoming romantically involved. That was never the point. It doesn't even end with Fushi falling in love with Kahaku because that was also not the point. The point was that there really is no wrong way to love somebody be it platonically or romantically, and that it doesn't matter who it is you do show that love to.

The story doesn't punish Fushi for not having romantic feelings for anyone, because the answer was never that the "right" kind of love was romantic love. His love for people and his friends and the world is perfect because it is the way he is.

It is so funny watching people completely misunderstand Kahaku’s feelings for Fushi and the whole sexuality/queerness element that plays into it. While the earlier parts of their relationship can be debated, saying that Kahaku is only ever in love with Fushi-Parona is not correct. (Personally, I always felt that he was attracted to Parona’s form at first, but that turned into a bit of a sheild so that he wouldn’t have to be ‘in love with a man’, but that’s just my view.) 

I just can’t help but shake my head a bit when people believe that Kahaku only ever liked Parona’s form because they don’t want to believe he’s anything but straight. Or, sometimes people just completely misunderstand details about his character. (I don’t blame anime-onlies, since the adaptation has been quite clumsy with details surrounding him.) 

It just feels like another example of “let’s overlook this character’s queerness because a) no gay people in our anime, or b) it’s not overly explicit so it can’t exist”.