#i still dont know how tumblr formatting works im just rambling

[applefan28]

-I was really hesitant to try and ask about it again, since I didn't want to be too pushy or bothersome, especially since I'm just some random ass anon 0_0; But I got the confidence to try again <:) Forgot if I said this already but the headcannons can be whatever you want, if you ever wanted to an excuse to go ham with the rambling, this is it, I definitely won't mind-

(deleted the original ask + response because tumblr fucked up the formatting BAD)

hey man i dont mind the asks here youre totes in the good here 👍 im just very wishy-washy with doing things but really, your interest in my thoughts on these guys make me :] greatly appreciate it

(ALCOHOL CW here as its the headcanon topic this time.)

Apple is the type to go through such a weird whiplash of stages, as she starts out with being hyper and very active with near no doubt in what she does or says. it progresses, however, into how she was like prior to marsh on mars. apple gets very self defensive, short tempered, and hells of lot more brash with her language (as well as cursing in spanish a lot more). as we all know, her crude snd aggressive front was a subconscious way to protect + repress her deeprooted insecurities and self hatred. she could get easily angered and put up a fight response to a lampost of all things because she thought it called her dumb. eventually, it all sorta wears out into this very toned down, sad loner that keeps to herself. shes quiet and doesnt really speak all much, but is actually thinking a little bit too much for her own good. kinda like shes given up on that front? shes back to being post elimination apple at the hotel (at least, how i think of her to be). finally, she hits the last stage where shes this outwardly overly sensitive crybaby that overthinks every single thing going on. shes got tears in her eyes, sniffling every couple of seconds, sees every bad as her own fault and is sooo switchy with being overly attached/overly self distancing with marsh. apple is just a huge emotional mess of self hatred and deep insecurities 

thankfully though, apple doesnt have much of a reaso to drink a whole lot and neither do the mansion folk. she does dabble in a bit of beer every now and then in moderation if shes doing some heavy farm work (just like her dad). btw she has a sorta strong alcohol tolerance but in turn gets the absolute worst phases and digestional struggles. when it hits, it hits her HARD. beer and anything packed with flavour are her go-to (she knows nothing about mixing and types of drinks)

Marshmallow is not one to drink a whole lot to begin with, and is the designated driver most of the times (only one who can drive and trusts herself + pb to handle things). marsh doesnt really have phases, at least like how apple does, but does kinda go through the motions enough where the next day she regrets having more drinks than she should have had. she gets a lot more loose and careless, shedding off that cynical and doubtful approach she has. it delves more into a very affectionate and surprisingly emotionally open individual who displays this carefree demeanor full of love and carnal desire (towards apple especially). there will however, be moments where bits of herself seep through these drunken love behaviours. every now and then you can catch a glimpse of marsh's hidden attachment and a flavour of guilt-ridden self hatred. marsh isnt exactly as self hating as apple is, but she has a tendency to make things about herself including issues between her and her loved ones. dont be mistaken though, she still wont budge and express her inner turmoil to you even under the influence. marsh desires agency and control over herself enough to not be completely loose on alcohol

like ive mentioned before, marsh isnt one to drink even casually and restricts herself from such during occasions as shes the self appointed and mutually agreed designated driver. shes more into sweet-tasting but not overly decorated mixed drinks and wine if she were to drink though. shes not exactly alcohol tolerant but not easily moved either, she has that subconscious restraint to not open up but its no match against her rampant lesbianism lets be real

Bow is the type of drunk to bring lots of fun to the party, while having you keep medical aid on hand. shes a lot more hyper and energetic, sparking up the light and bringing life to whatevers going on sometimes to an annoying degree. bow also gets a hell lot more flirtatious with about anyone and will get mopey if you show disinterest or flat out reject her. thankfully, her attention span at this rate is tanked so she'll just switch gears haha. there will however, be a tipping point to her patience and will get irritable towards rejection or something not going the way it should. bow's pranks and stunts get even more chaotic and at this point flat out shows no regards to others' or her own safety. not to mention her moments where she will be extremely honest with intentions/feelings, sometimes even her grudge and depression over being dead + irrelevant. one second its flirting the next is casually raging over being nothing now, then back to flirting all to the same person. all this to compensate for the constantly looming void of her prescence, bow is destroying that void 

much like apple, thankfully this isnt something that would happen all that much nowadays. bow is the type to take a hard swig of straight vodka and probably shoot it onto someone else's mouth. she'll down on a fuck load of shots like its nothing and can chug beers in a fell swoop then crushes the can on her head. probably the strongest alcohol tolerance out of the mansioners, dough being a close second

Dough isnt much of the exuberant and hyper party type like bow is (in fact his tone doesnt change at all), but still becomes this more outgoing, social guy that loves to get crazy with his pals and pulling stunts. shes more genuine and less "ironic" under the influence, as that flimsy façade she carries is taken down. dough's kinda a more approachable guy now as shes less to deal with the incessant Too Cool For This mask made out of plastic wrap, though WILL go on and on and on about whatever interest or topic she knows. not to mention, he can get rather annoyingly clingy with this newfound authenticity. the combo of a drunk dough telling a sober bow how much he loves her as a sister and thinks shes totally cool is very funny to me. not to mention much like bow, he gets flirtatious, but still retains that nonchalant attitude. while the flirting is genuine in emotion, its still some of the most blunt, unattractive flirting ever (hes having fun). all in all, dough doesnt suffer as bad as the others when drunk. a drunk dough is a zooted unmasked dough who, while drops the rather transparent ironic apathy for once, will still end up being a pesky guy but with added genuinity <3

dough is the opposite of bow here where she just has a pretty weak alcohol tolerance. makes sense with how flimsy her front is, its easy to kinda see shes bullshitting the irony. much like bow, he does likes just about anything from canned beers to complex mixes to really shitty mixes done in barrels that'll send you to sleep for a week. speaking of mixing, id like to think he at least knows some basics and will call himself a mixologist but honestly dough is very amateur at it and can NOT do tricks without using ghost abilities

[sylvctica]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

✿ NAME:   aid! what i’m most known as, shorthand for Asuraid which is just my online handle in most places.

✿ PRONOUNS:   she / her!

✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:   mmm, mostly thru tumblr IMs / post replies? obvs discord is the best, but because i’m so low spoons for social energy i am a lot more picky with adding people there. :[

✿ NAME OF MUSE(S):   sylvie and my gaymer boy oc! tho i’m not very active on him, i do still have access to his account.

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):   uhh, overall i started roleplaying when i was around 12-13 on devART, moving onto tumblr circa 2013 ( so i was around uh ... 14ish? ). so i’ve been writing on here for almost a decade at this rate LMAO ...

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:   skype, discord, tumblr, devART, iphone messages, msn for like one person ... never tried my hand at forums, or rather i did early on and dropped it because the format was odd for me w/multiple people going on at once.

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE:   honestly getting to meet the people i talk to now, esp @afacere since we’ve been at the hip for years now; a lot of Hideki has been influenced by her, and we’ve been each other’s friend support pillars for years. honestly, taking the plunge to bring sylvie to tumblr ( since i had been in a heavy hiatus at that point off hideki ) also counts here.

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:   tiny fonts, tiny themes / docs / carrds ... thankfully it’s not terribly prevalent but sometimes i do come across some of them where you either can’t read the text well because it’s too small, or it’s too blended into the background / too contrasting, so it hurts to look at, or the background is misaligned to the text box because other resolutions werent taken into account and i wanna bite my own arm off because it’s like ... pls. this is what ppl see first and where your primary info is. thankfully, dash view mitigates it for themes, but it makes me take -10 hp of damage.

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:   mmm, i guess fluff? mostly just due to sylvie’s personality, i do tend to lean more into silly light-hearted stuff. angst i do enjoy but it’s harder for me to write just cause i’m slow and for angst i really need to do it in the moment of it happening to feel it. smut ... i dont write on here ueueueue. sylvie does fucc tho.

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES:   memes, mostly because over the years i feel like i’ve lost my brain for generating plots. not that im not up for it!!! im just ... very, very very slow and work off spontaneous stuff better ( and discussing stuff more in depth ooc ). i bounce better off an existing base rather than no base.

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:   mostly short since im often pretty tired, so dash commentary is pretty prevalent. that’s not to say im not open to long replies!!! i enjoy writing them, they just take a lot of spoons for me the longer they are ... though sometimes stuff unintentionally gets long because sylvie rambles.

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE:   whenever my brain doesn’t feel like death ... it really is sporadic, though most of my writing time ends up being at night because that’s when it’s the quietest and i’m free ( ... almost, my parents are playing a loudass movie rn even at 1am ). otherwise i do just write when i feel the muse for it.

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):   to a degree? it’s hard not to put aspects of yourself in an oc, even if subconsciously. sylvie is more-so what i aspire to be in confidence, but we do have some overlap ... especially in our humour. their unfiltered thoughts are my unfiltered thoughts, but i just have a filter to keep them in LMAOOO. we also deviate off topics very easily and ramble about things.

[kisaragitomi]

fumetsu no anata e is my sapphic villain origin story.

all i'm saying is that we got robbed! we had frames from 120-124 like these

which really made me think they were going to go the wlw direction with mizuha and hanna..... but i got clowned so hard......

there's that kabedon scene. and this specific hugging scene. i'm just.

i thought it would mean the cycle of fushi obsession would finally stop with mizuha as the inheritor of hayase's blood... it still hurts to think about all the grievances that happened with kahak. i didn't want mizuha to go through what her ancestors went through at all.

this scene was also really soft:

and can we talk about their literal date????

i swear! this chapter seemed like it was straight out of a wlw manga. i remember reading bloom into you / yagate kimi ni naru with the same exact feeling.

(also hey that fashion sense... lgbt fashion spectrum...)

then this frame doomed me.

seeing hanna just hugging her back broke me internally ngl. the fact that she wants fushi while her best friend is just standing there embracing her made me wanna rage quit lmfao

i know at the end of the day the author likely never intended mizuha/hanna to be a thing but i think i'll be salty about it forever.

feel free to agree or disagree. i just really wanna see more canon wlw pairings in non-yuri/shoujo ai stuff..... :p (that's not fetishized or bait, obviously)

[3norachas]

wrong send • bang chan (I)

pair: bang chan x reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers, fake dating, fluff, suggestive no smut tho uwu, a little angst, bullet point scenario

warnings: suggestive it’s just making out sjabdka

“In which Y/n was supposed to send her best friend, Lee Minho, a porn link for scientific purposes but accidentally sent it to her neighbor, Bang Chan.”

masterlist     (a/n: sike ya bitch I’m too excited to wait for 6 pm so here you go hnng gotta cut it halfway bc tumblr can’t handle this masterpiece hnnghgn anyway sorry this took too long ive been procrastinating and i still had irremediable and unforeseen to deal with hhnghgn but pls don’t be afraid to request huehuehue and im sorry if my style of writing in bullet point format is similar to some writers hgnfhgng i’ve read some of these types of writing and it stuck with me so im very sorry :((( )

taglist: @cahtastrophie @anxietyishell

PART II

you and minho were close

you grew up together

learned to walk together

bath together when you were babies of course :))

bully and judge people together

basically everything

you studied in the same school and were inseparable since birth

it was like two puzzle together

when you need help with love minho is there to watch over you he scares all of them but u dont need to know that oof

when minho’s in trouble you’re there for him even if it’s bailing him out of jail dont ask why

you even watch porn together  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

but that’s all platonic!!!

the two of you tried dating and were each other’s first kiss

but it didn’t really work out for the both of you

it was too awkward

so you decided that you were better off as friends

but that didn’t stop the two of you to be close huehuehue

y’all still cuddle like kids and personal space never existed between the two of you

that stayed until college

everyone legit thought the two of you were dating but—

“me and minho??”, “me and y/n??”

and you’d both send each other a playful glare

“ew no”

so when minho asked you to send him some link to a gay porn website

you didn’t even bat an eye

so here you are

about to send some porn link for minho’s entertainment and prob for his minho junior ;)))

“here’s the link you bitch”

and there you go

but what weirded u out tho is when minho didn’t reply immediately

he’s always fast when it comes to your texts or calls

but then you thought maybe he couldn’t wait anymore and is busy fucking or whatever

so imagine your shock when u received a text with multiple question marks 

“?????????”

“hello to you too but what is this for?”

it was bang chan

bang motherfucking chan

The Bang Chan™

the one with grades higher than your height

the athlete who joins a lot of sports but eats like he hasn’t for weeks

the one who sits in front of you and asks for pencils every now and then

and has more girls than you have friends

“is this porn?”

“oh wait”

“it is porn”

you threw your phone away from you, burying your face on the pillow to sulk in embarrassment

out of all people it just had to be him ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

your phone rang with the ring tone minho had set for himself let’s all assume it’s a sexy song

“hoe where’s the link”

“i think i did something terrible”

“wouldn’t be your first time lmao but what is it??”

“i accidentally sent it to someone else….”

“…..”

“….”

“…”

“..”

“how and who the hell did u sent it to?”

“bang chan…”

“whomst-hAHAHAHHNGDBJ ISN’T THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR??”

“DON’T LAUGH A ME U BITCH ;’((("

“I CAN’T NOT HUHAHAHA”

you whine while he wheezes at your misery

“just tell him it’s not for him and apologize u big baby”

“but that’s just embarrassing” o(╥﹏╥)o

“do you really want him to think that it’s for him and you’re trying to make him hard and seduce him?? what makes it worse is that it’s gay porn”

“nO”

“tHEN DO SOMETHING”

so that’s how you find yourself standing in front of the door of the apartment across yours

with shaky hands you knock on the door

it opens to reveal bang chan himself in his shirtless glory- Σ(゜ロ゜;)

…..

(╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) !!!!!!!

sHiRtLEsS?????

suddenly, you don’t know how to breathe don’t we all tho

hngkdb mfucking bitch has defined abs how can you function normally

how is this man comfortable with showing his abs to random people???

it doesn’t help that he still has little droplets of water on his body 

“hi?”

you yelp, literally, and that caused a small chuckle from chan at your cute reaction but!!!

HiS cHuCKle sOuNdED !!!!

you pinch your wrist to wake yourself up and maybe stop yourself from staring at his torso

now is not the time y/n!! ‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ

“um- I’m- hi….”

“hi there” he smiles his dimpled smile and —*inhales*

your heart went !!!!

it took you a lot to compose yourself before you squish his cheeks in your hands

nO Y/N !!!

cOnTRol YOuRSeLf !!!

“soooo”

“huh?”

“come inside for a bit” he grins at your confused look and opened his door wider

what

wHaT?

reluctantly, you follow him inside his apartment. you weren’t surprised when u saw the mess inside, it was a small space but it wasn’t too small

what surprised you tho

there were pieces of female clothes on the floor and bed

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

you were confused for a moment before you finally undersstood the situation and that those clothes where female clothing

fEMALE 

nOT HIS

“channie who was that?”

your head whip to the bathroom door to stare at the girl is your neck ok y/n?

her eyes were wide

like

wIDe

like this O - O

and she looks scared :00

“a-are you chan’s s/o?” she gulps before scurrying to gather her things and run pass you muttering apologies and out the door she went

s/O????

you didn’t even have time to explain that you weren’t !!!

she just ran pass you !!!!

and wasn’t that mina?!?!

like The Mina™ who gets all boys huehue

“I’m sorry about her”

you hear chan sigh, now wearing a shirt

which was great bc if he stayed shirtless you might not be able to speak normally bold of u to assume that you can speak even if he’s fully clothed hhghghng

“she really think that these hook ups we have has a meaning”

hookups?

you shook your head, mumbling about how it doesn’t really mind you which is a big fucking lie

wHAT IF MINA GOSSIPS TO HER FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE CHAN’S S/O???

if anything she may already have broadcasted it to the whole campus

“sooo why did you came here??”

chan settled on his bed with a cute curious look on his face

just then did you remembered

yOU SEND HIM A GAY PORN LINK

suddenly you’re back to phase one

you keep opening and shutting your mouth from nervousness lIKE HELLO??? HOW??? ARE YOU??? SUPPOSED TO BE CALM???

aND IT’S CHAN SO???

DON’T!!! BLAME!!! Y/N!!!

“i-t’s about t-the… link-”

chan chuckles and nods his head ”yeah i saw it”

sAW IT?!?!

aS iN hE wATcHeD tHe vIdEO!?!?!

!!!!

chan must’ve noticed the look on your face and laughed his beautiful laugh and you felt your heart is being crushed !!!!

“no not like that! i meant that i received it yes”

oh

oHh

stupid you

why would chan even watch it if he knows that it’s porn hhnghg maybe he did watched it ;)))

you played with the hem of your shirt. eyes casted down from embarrassment smh how many times are you going to embarrass yourself y/n hhhnghn

“p-please forget about the link”

“oh??” chan tilted his head in confusion still with his mfuckin smile

“i-it wasn’t supposed to be sent for you!!! i’m really sorry for calling you bitch too…”

chan was shookt when you bowed 360 degrees and repeatedly apologizing

so being the kind person he is he took a hold of your shoulders with a cute smile

cHAN STOP MAKING CUTE FACES !!! Y/N IS DEAD !!!

AND HE’S TOO CLOSE FOR COMFOT HHNGHNY/N ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

HANG IN THERE SWEETY

“it’s alright, i don’t mind but…”

but???

“does your boyfriend know???”

?????

“boyfriend?? i’m sorry but i don’t-”

“isn’t minho your boyfriend? y’know the dance major? i’m pretty sure the link is for him, right?”

o-O!!?

he thought you and minho??? are??? dating???

“um n-no we’re not! i mean we’re close but that’s it!”

chan released a relieved sigh and his smile came back

bUT?? HE’S STILL TOO CLOSE?? AND HIS BREATHING HITS YOUR BURNING CHEEKS??

“that’s good, I really thought I was going to have to face him”

he lets out a breathy laugh before letting go you secretly miss his touch and heading for his kitchen

“do you want to eat before going ahead? i mean you’re literally just across my front door so??”

well who are you to say no to that :’)) 

even if it’s possible that he can murder you rn but chan?? hurt someone??

yeah keep telling that to yourself :’))

what you didn’t expect tho was for the two of you to hit it off ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

the two of you have so many things to talk about and it was never awkward and chan was literally listening to whatever bs you were rambling about

and he has such a soft look on his face when he listens to you uwu ɾ⚈▿⚈ɹ

but it wasn’t long before you have to get going bc it’s a school day tomorrow

BUT THAT’S OK !!!

BC THE SECOND U OPENED YOUR DOOR TO HEAD TO COLLEGE HE OPENED HIS WITH A CUTE MORNING SMILE

y’all walk to college together with small talks and he walk you to your first class uwu (▰˘v˘▰)

when lunch arrived you and minho sat at the same table like usual

“soooo how did it went with chan??” minho asked with his mouth stuffed with pasta

“huh??”

minho deadpanned and threw one of his garlic bread at you

sTOP WASTING FOOD U HOE (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง

“i was asking about chan u dumbo”

from the grin on your face minho knew he was going to hear some good tea and drama although he insulted you for being a coward at first

“he’s hooking up with mina :000″

“is that the only thing you heard from what i just said :’<”

he was about to say something else when your junior best friend jisung came running to your table

“why didn’t you tell me!?!? i thought we were friends!?!?” (▰˘︹˘▰)

“tell you what??”

you can tell jisung was clearly offended but you didn’t know why tho 

“that you and chan are dating you traitor!" 

Σ(꒪ȏ꒪)

you and minho shared a look

"i was expecting that”

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???”

jisung look confused so you ended up explaining what happened yesterday with chan

“how did you managed to send him the porn link tho” jisung to a sad y/n, 

“and what the hell did you need the porn link for?” jisung to a flustered minho

“that’s not the point!!” (●o≧д≦)

you slump on your seat with a defeated look and just then did u noticed the look that people are sending you

automatically you hid yourself by snuggling into minho uwu u cute y/n

“oi, you can’t just snuggle into me when everyone thinks you have a boyfriend” — “but i don’t”

“y/n?” 

u look up from minho’s shoulder to see chan

"chan!!!" Σ(゜ロ゜;)

"can we talk for a moment??”

minho nudge you on the elbow, nodding as if to tell you to go ahead so you stood up and followed chan outside the cafeteria

when you’re outside chan faces you with a bothered look

“I’m so sorry for what people are saying about us I’m pretty sure it was mina she usually gossips a lot to her friends but I didn’t expect her to tell them that we’re dating just bc you came yesterday-”

chan was now rambling his apologies just like you did last night he looked cute like that btw

“it’s ok chan!! I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen”

chan was relieved when he heard that but he looked like he was still bothered by something

so being the sweetheart you are you asked him what it is ^~^

“can I ask you a favor??” he look uncertain so normally you were concerned

so you nod because !!!!

chan is worried !!!!

so it has to be something big !!!!

“i know this is probably going to be weird bc we just met last night and we’re not that close but-” chan look at your eyes to see if you still want him to continue so you nod at him

“c-can we please date?? but like fake dating and all?? i thought about it and it would really help me avoid those girls who wanted me in their bed and don’t worry i’ll pay you back! i swear-”

(〃ﾟдﾟ〃)!!! 

"d-date!?!?!?” 

you yelped, cheeks burning bright from chan’s offer

HOW CAN YOU NOT??

CHAN LITERALLY ASKED YOU TO DATE HIM !!! IT MAY BE FAKE AND ALL BUT STILL !!! HE ASKED YOU !!! YOU !!! TO DATE !!! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE !!!

and it didn’t help that he said please insert sad uwu :((

AS IF YOU’D SAY NO :((

"i-it’s ok if you don’t want to though!! I won’t force you!!”

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY NO TO BANG CHAN??  DEFINITELY NOT YOU BC!!! IT’S!!! BANG CHAN!!!

“i-im fine with it but why me tho??” bc you’re cute and awesome y/n (ﾟヮﾟ)

your cheeks became even more red than possible when chan gave you cute smile

"well, I really want to get to know you since last night and you weren’t like any girl to be honest”

aaAAHH 

BANG CHAN U BITCH 

Y/N??? 

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

you can feel your heart fluttering from his confession definitely not because he was looking at you with a fond smile and soft caring eyes hnghn

“so, are you in?" 

with your trembling weak heart you nodded, knees weakening when he beamed at you and his mother fucking cute dimples showed

you’re doomed :’))

"great! I’ll see you later then”

later?? o-O??

“um what for??”

he chuckled at your confused lil face and patted your head

aaAAHH YOUR HEART JUST SKIPPED THOUSANDS OF BEATS

“for our first date dummy”

[haikyuu-loves-thiccies]

I just found you blog and let me tell you thank you for being here as a bigger girl I love reading how the boys would act with a bigger s/o I want to read more when you have the chance please write more and if you ever leave tumblr I will be so sad cause not many of these blogs exist and someone big girls need love to anyways keep up the good work 💖💖💖

UMM,, I LOVE YOU ANON?? i dont plan on leaving anytime soon but I also write super slowly lmao!! I finally got my puppy to sleep so im gonna try to work on one of my asks but I've got a growing headache so I can't promise it'll be up anytime tonight ;0;

Also honestly thank you!!! I always get nervous posting my fics because I'm not used to public writing in fanfiction format (usually only headcanons), that, and i worry that I don't really delve/show the fact that the reader is bigger than normal. Im still fleshing out a happy medium of my works not being completely centered around being insecure with your body, but also not just writing without any body description at all??? Sjsjsjkjfkd

Like I used to try and find chubby x readers for years in my early teens and stuff and while I definitely did find some, they were always the same sort of like... "I'm y/n and im fat and insecure and I'm bullied for my body" which EVERY NOW AND AGAIN is fine but a majority of the time like,, can we get something not so melodramatic djdjf. Even if you're insecure with your body (which you should never be but that's a conversation topic for another long talk), fanfictions relating to someone with a thicker body don't have to revolve around the negatives. Neutrals and positives exist too, with our bodies.

I know I'm high-key rambling but this is something I've tried putting into words for years now and icdjjsjsjf I still can't find the right way to say it lmao

Maybe I'm just tired of reading bullied! Reader fics and I want some neutral or positive beginnings thrown into the mix, too.

[groguhasaknife]

Endgame Callbacks and References

proceed with caution - there will be a break before spoilers start but it may not work on mobile. If it does not work, I put 5 bold, header "Endgame Spoilers” in the beginning and 5 bold, header “End Post”s at the end

Please feel free to DM me I would love to talk to someone about this.

I literally spent 2 hours typing up my feeling and categorizing them so yeah this is just the references I remembered but I have other categories lololol and hopefully if I have time to format it I will post them later too. 

This obviously is not all of them it isn’t many at all actually but hopefully when I watch it again on Friday I can add more cuz I loved the references.

Endgame Spoilers

Endgame Spoilers

Endgame Spoilers

Endgame Spoilers

Endgame Spoilers

references/callbacks - these are all internal to like marvel itself

Joe Russo in support group

the same Russo bro was in Winter Soldier as a doctor

really liked how the subtly added an explicitly gay character, it was not the main point. as someone who is gay, I am always in disbelief when I see representation and I really could not believe it when he referred to his partner as he, I was so happy.

“Suit of armor around the world”

age of ultron

Tony, I love you. but it would have only delayed Thanos a little bit, it is the thought that counts.

Captain America’s Ass

okay this is not really a reference but this is just an homage to Chris Evans’ amazing backside

love that they pointed this out, love that they talked about it for a while

love that Tony commented on it and basically confirmed bisexuality love that

i like to think that this was for the fans

THOR VIKING BEARD

again not really a reference

there was a tumblr post going around that thor never got his braided hair well he did get braided hair or at least i think it was somewhat styled in thor 2 but WE GOT the braided beard babey with the full power up yummmm yess go off sir

also tell me thor in the end did not look like aquaman... or give you aquaman vibes love that for him and his final character arc, giving up his throne to valkyrie cuz he knows its not for him

Loki into Cap

callback to Thor: The Dark World

I knew as soon as I saw Loki again when they went back that they were going to think cap or tony was loki in disguise and they even pointed that out with loki transforming

it’s funny how loki only turns to Cap or at least he has done him the most from what we have seen

“I can do this all day”

the first avenger, civil war

This one was an obvious one, but I loved it just as much and future cap’s response? so good loved that for them

Elevator Scene

winter soldier

biiitcchhh i was toooo hyped when I saw this, but I just realized now, of course there was gonna be a callback to winter soldier and so like exactly because the Russos directed it obvi. But this was so good

like did they use the same footage in the beginning? (ik they didnt) It felt dead same to me but there were some different characters right? like was sitwell there in that scene in tws?

Hydra Cap

scene itself to Winter Soldier, Cap knowing they were hydra and reference to the comics plot twist that everyone was up in arms about

I think this was strategic for cap and I am pretty sure Chris Evans was against hydra cap? right so it was definitely not approving it or anything

the men "didnt feel so good" - when Cap is distracting Hank Pym

infinity war

I really don’t know if this was intentional but I was just like ……… really marvel youre gonna do us like that

"operating a machine" - howard stark

Iron Man 2

where he said tony was the best thing he ever created/invented, talking about him like a tool…...more on this another time

Jarvis!!!

agent carter

the same actor from agent carter! love him the most

“on your left”

from winter soldier

i died at this part, it took me a second to like process what was happening but jaglakjdf love u sam :((

“Avengers Assemble”

callback to tease in Ultron, and comics obvi

I may have cried. I was waiting for that. It was so good.

Steve Rogers wielding Mjolnir

from age of ultron…….more on this another time

callback to cap budging the hammer in age of ultron

“don’t worry she’s got help” - female characters

Infinity War

I don’t know if this counts since it was literally from Infinity War, maybe not the exact wording, but…... more on this another time

Someone standing behind Wanda

in the funeral scene there was someone standing behind Wanda, Bucky, and Sam that I did not recognize and idk if I’m just blind but they looked like evan peters to me...... and i know it was not him from searching it but i thought it was like an introduction of xmen to the mcu slowly as disney bought fox but i was wronggggg but who was it? was it maria hill? I saw she was credited in the well credits but i swear i dont remember seeing her in the movie

Wanda and Clint’s dynamic still remaining

callback to age of ultron

father and daughter relationship, really good

“don’t do anything stupid until I get back” “how can i? youre taking all the stupid with you”

from the first avenger

:((((((( i- that was very emotional like i didnt process that one either that was like deep in the recess of my memories wow that was solid

Clink of Tony working on the original Iron Man suit - end screen

from Iron Man (2008)

I did not actually infer that it was from Iron Man at first, that was in the back of my mind, but given that end scenes are always about the future I thought it was like the forge where stormbreaker and mjolnir and the gauntlet were made and referencing future characters, weapons, etc. But it was a great callback alkdfjalskdjfajlafjdklajkdl I love Tony :(((

also some unedited ramblings (i only added periods to make it somewhat comprehensive) :

I had the ending robbed from me by dumbasses on instagram. I predicted tony would take the gauntlet and die from it because I knew he was going to die. I wish I could relive watching that not knowing, but if any marvel fans want to tell me how they felt I would love to listen and talk about endgame and the mcu with you and live vicariously through you. that black widow dying and cap getting old was also spoiled. I thought cap was gonna stay when they time traveled the first time but I knew where the soul stone business was going. I wanted to sob at Tony dying and I knew I would have if I didnt know, but I already knew and had accepted it but now it feels like he isnt actually dead idk like when tony almost died in iw I cried so I know I would have sobbed.... but even so tony’s death had been spoiled to me 3 separate times in the three days since its been released and each has been on a different day so I guess it was meant to be but im still mad that was taken from me

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[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #10- “Is Cheatham actually high regularly or is it just a figment of his imagination?”- Sara

that was such a HARD tribal for me. i loved having noah on my side and stuff but also i know he would be one of the ppl to make a big move on me if he stayed . its getting harder and harder for each vote . i just gotta stay focused and hope my alliance stays strong another round or two . tumblr survivor gods i hope your pulling for me!

Austin and Vincent have to be testing me. I dont get why Austin is playing dumb with me or why he act like he didn't know. According to Vincent Austin was in on it. I mean regardless I know who Im just wanting to stick with but yeah, the weird jumped out. Cheatham is also saying this was a week or so then went MIA so thats cool

(LATER)

Austin and Vincent are coming off super sketchy. I mean it is nothing new with Austin, but Vincent oof. I dont mind it all that much because of who I prefer to go with, but it is interesting. If these guys are coordinated then, well, seems uncoordinated

(LATER)

So right now Austin, Cheatham, and Vincent have added me to a chat I guess to work together. I actually worry I am not Natalie Anderson, but Sierra Dawn Thomas Worlds Apart. Nonetheless, I think its smart for me to wait til F7 or so to make the move against Austin/Cheatham. I can't allow enough time to pass for the idol to bite me in my butt!

(LATER)

I now see that Austin probably thinks he can manipulate me, so I have to time when I vote him perfectly. Him feigning ignorance on the Noah vote tells me he likely feels I'm naive enough to believe him and hey people do prefer to keep the ones around they feel are lesser than themselves!

(LATER)

Ive had a change of heart- I think now Kyle is going to get dragged by people, however, I strongly believe he would choose me over anyone so its just a matter of navigating 6 tribals

Inane ramblings from Vincent's cf, dated 3 AM on December 26, formatted terribly bc this cf is dated 3:06 AM on December 26: >i'm looking ahead to the future >austin is likely going to want liam out >bc when he said he wanted to make a move he'd have to mean one of them >them being liam/am/sara >and as far as i can tell liam is being perceived as the glue >so if he goes then am/sara become lone wolves who are easier to manipulate >however if liam stays then the other one, maybe am, is linked with them and they will be mad at austin for doing this >so those are numbers on our side >my previous boot order (EDITOR'S NOTE: never discussed in a cf, but will be discussed at length later) changed due to the unexpected development that austin is willing to flip on his group >however i'll note now that there is a very good chance he's faking >although if he is i can't imagine why he'd put his true allies in such blatant danger when kyle is literally right there as a vote >*person to vote >so let's say 5-3 vote up next >me/cheatham/austin/chris/kyle all against liam's trio >ideally voting out sara >bc she is the messiest and the one i trust least >my goal will be to convince the others that this is the best vote >liam and i are good and he is my decoy f2 >too early for goat stuff but am is a better goat than sara imo >just keeping my options open >liam/cheatham/annmarie could easily each be in my f2 >but not in a "ideal f4" way >so if austin is with me for this vote then he should at least appear to establish further connections with me >he can't do anything without one of chris and cheatham >or kyle i guess >kyle is easily the most expendable of those 3 >so to limit austin's options we need to vote kyle >we >my old boot order is more or less the same >just kyle vote goes from getting austin's trust back to weakening him >then at f6 cheatham chris and i stick together >vote out am unless liam becomes dark horse threat >f5 austin goes >f4 chris >f3 liam >then maybe i win >wow this seems so real >like usually in orgs when i'm at the merge im like'well maybe it's still possible that i could maybe end up at the ftc but lmao imagine getting votes' >oh no i'm becoming overconfident >wow meeting noah in jury again is going to be awkward huh No matter how I place this is honestly one of my better confessionals. Either full of dramatic irony and I look stupid or I win and I look good. One outcome is significantly more likely than the other, of course. But neither isn't so bad, is it?

God I feel this challenge is gonna stir up so much shit! I just hope my target dont get bigger because of it.

Where I stand now is that Austin is very willing to have Kyle go this round quote unquote, but what is to say he may not actually want somebody else? It is interesting seeing him discuss his perception and everything. I guess he cannot help but try to downplay himself, but I feel the ship has sailed for him and now it is only a matter of time. Watch him pull a W

(LATER)

I can't wait for someone to get offended by this Touchy Subjects challenge. I know I won't. If anything, I'll just adapt with it! I also feel like now, it's important to see how AnnMarie and Sara handle things from here on out- either they're willing to try and go for Austin/Cheatham/Vincent, or they'll settle for Kyle. If this happens to go the way I think, I may end up as a potential swing in F7, but I sure as heck am not about to be like Miss Sarah Lacina Cop-Turned-Criminal in Cagayan. No Ma'am! I'm not ever feeling safe until I'm sitting in the Final 2

(LATER)

So Austin asks me for a name and I am like ok I dont mind if it is Kyle unless you guys are up to do someone else. Austin proceeds to say he wants to have options and just wants a name and I'm. It really feels like a bit of a bait just to go to X to say I said their name. I could be wrong but its just weird becaise I haven't heard him say a name yet

(LATER)

Austin! Do not think that Ive forgotten your leaky faucet ways! Like that's the odd thing about it- Austin has shown what he is capable of and it is just weird of him to press about this when I know he has lied to me before. Like right now I literally told him I am fine with anyone going and his response was to know who I actually want out. I really don't know what he wants me to say other than a name to implicate myself but nuh uh! Not I!

(LATER)

The way it looks, I can make the move to get Liam out but I highly doubt I will last much longer. All it will take after that is to say Chris did X lets do him  and so I want to try and wait at least to chat to Kyle. I also want to see how willing AnnMarie and Sara are willing to talk about this vote instead of waiting. I definitely do not want Cheatham/Austin/Vincent all in F6 or at worse F5 however that is easier said than done for this lot

Wowza, Cheatham is playing hard now. SO, basically the votes are supposed to go 6-2, Chris being voted out. Now I do not wanna go any further with Sara, AM, and Liam bc they will take out me and Austin first. So I talked with Chris and now there is a 4 person alliance with Austin, Me, Chris, and Vincent. Im going to use my idol on Chris and then Chris and Kyle will vote out one of the others. Kyle is a wild card and we don't wanna tell him EXACTLY what's going on because he is kinda crazy. So we are thinking about having Vincent vote with Chris to ensure that one of the others go home. This is yet again ANOTHER big move on my part. Im getting worried that people will think that I'm the biggest threat with MORE idols in my hand and doing all the big moves. All I can do is wait. If I keep winning individual immunity like this week then I'm golden.

I think I've had an epiphany and it took talking to Cheatham to figure it out. Apparently I am the vote for tonight, though he wants to do something I've been wanting Cheatham to do in this merge and that is take advantage of the idol system- in doing so he gains a lot of leverage and I felt disppointed that he wasn't optimizing it. Having that said, I think I got a little sad because he told me people feel like I never give a name and truth be told I don't and it is a mistake on my end. I feel like I'm so scared to say a name because it failed miserably for me in the first half of this game and now that I don't do it anymore, people use it as a reason to vote me out. I do feel like its like I can't win with these people, but I want to change as much as I can to give myself a chance

(LATER)

HI am seeing that Austin, Cheatham, and even Vincent legitimately want to work with me and so perhaps I should consider going with them. The question with this vote is how I do I go about it. I've already named Sara because I have the most reason to do her AND I know Austin/Cheatham lowkey wanted her so its a win win for all of us, but it would be interesting to split it if the idol were used on me. Regardless, I just want this to end greatly for me, be that new start to a Chris that has what it will take to make it to the end and win.

I have...lots of questions right now... Am I being voted out tonight? Wouldn't surprise me. Does AnnMarie have a f2 w/ Austin? Cuz I accidentally caught her in something the other day where she told me she knew Austin was asking others for finals. But it might have been an accident because I mentioned that Austin asked for us 2 in a f3 with him....never said f2. Is Cheatham actually high regularly or is it just a figment of his imagination? Why do people get weird and quiet when they're planning a blindside or change loyalties? I literally brought this up to Liam last night a while after results. Gwen/Rizo/Chris did this exact same thing. It's Survivor. Lie and make a move if you have to. I'd respect that a whole lot more. Ignoring people is just shit jury management and I'll totally call Cheatham out at tribal now if I go! At least Vincent gave me an ANSWER! *Giggle* And also...is Austin actually that nice or is it game? Cuz I lit dunno if I'll ever be able to write his name down if that's really his personality. x)

Cheatham wants to invent a situation in which he would play his idol and gain full access to two others. This really feels like a resume padding thing more than a legitimate move out of necessity, because we have the numbers to vote out our target now, and there's no reason that would change any time soon. To me, this solidifies that Cheatham really can't make it to the end, just like Austin. Ideally I want to be able to choose between Liam and Chris because I think I have an ok shot against them both, and it's reasonable for both of them to make it very far. Of course it's the final 8 so it's still way too early to think about the end, but I definitely can't take Austin or Cheatham with me bc they both have a good shot at winning against me.

Sara me and Liam are apparently a strong group so there are plans to usurp our place on the throne! I'm watching a documentary about Queen Elizabeth while writing this. Cheatham apparently wants us gone as well, which hurts. I thought he was with me. I guess not. That is all.

So this round is insane, originally it was gonna be Chris but apparently Cheatham is gonna idol him so we’re having to take out the biggest goat in this game, which is so annoying, but if it must be done to save Sara so I have a shot at making it to the end then so be it. There’s still so much game to play so I need to make the most outta it.

5 votes Kyle (w/ self-vote), 2 votes Sara, 1 vote Chris (negated by idol.)