#to those who hate her: Where is your whimsy? Where is your joy?

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

The Happiest Misfit.

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel Isekai review

Today we are looking at the following, "The white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon kings lap."

christ thats a long as title.

anyways, do you have a friend? no? yes? maybe? how nice, how do you treat them? how do you speak with them? how do you interact with them? while you are filling out this survey, could you be as kind as to fill out those silly little digits on that odd plastic card in your mothers purse for moi~?

no? well fuck you to.

the flowers, the painfully average looking protag, the specific notation about the eye color? we are about to dive into the live of a special young lady and her mystical adventures through whimsy and wonder.

anyways the story is that ruri, are main charecter lives a rather average life with her super importent dad and her super model mom, as the image stats, how could her life ever be distrupted in any form or fashion?

if you guess that a random girl made friends with her and followed her for most of her life until they both got sucked into a fantasy world and the kingdom decided the friend would be the priestess, then you would be correct~!

"But dox!" you say crawling out of my airvent "thats huge gap in time, what happened in between?"

well asashi and ruri had a rather odd relationship. you see, everyone fucking loves asashi, they are all in on ensureing that this random girls life is as easy as possible but at the expense of asashi. they will all work togather to do make sure asashi is happy while also bullying ruri.

do you feel that? thats the worm in my brain slowly getting into yours as more and more questions about this specific dynamic arise. some of them will be answered, but they will only be answered in a way that makes sure the worm Burrows Deeper.

first question: its clear ruri fucking hates asashi, why do i say shes her friend?

second question: Why are they friends? why hasent ruri made her leave her alone if she doesnt like her?

well to answer those questions...

as asashi is appointed the new priestiess ruri attempt to discover things about this kingdom, she learns from a priest that there is no way back home that they know of, nor are their any stories of a person summoned being Un summoned.

anyways we cant get any plot done here! we need to roundaboutly kick shit off while also makeing this asashis fault somehow!

so she ends up getting kicked from the castle, forced to wander the woods for the rest of her natural life, her mulchcore attitude persaudeing her to lay down and become one with it all...

ok no thats not what happens, she walks around a little bit, learns she is the greatest mage alive

, wanders presumably without food and water for five days, yes im screaming at the overpowered mc cliche once again just ignore it, where in she meets a old lady in the woods

who of course unlocks her

Special eyes of destiny

which allows her to see the collection of fucking creepy fairies that constently surround and are touching her at any given moment of the day.

I am lead to belive due to the daisies drawn in the back ground that this is supposed to be a moment of whimsy and joy, this image fills me with a special dread as it fullfills almost every single one of my autistic fears imagineable. night mare night mare nightmare.

anyways magic is discussed for a vary long time but oh fuck, we havent complained about asashi in five seconds, time to make a horrifying point about her!

this conclusion seems to be that no one can truly love asashi as all the love she will ever feel is artifically grown because of her magic. this also means that if you have a strong heart and a good soul you cannot love asashi because you would naturally and rightfully find her as annoying as ruri would. this is because ruri is the only one that can see her objectivly.

if you hare undergoing a string of panic that comes from the fundamental question that comes from the doubt of love from the sources in your life, dont worry, Ruri says she is annoying and bad and the story belives her to be objectivly correct so everyone belives that if they are good. you are a good person right?

growing dread aside, more plot, the fairys bend to the whim of ruri, all faries, meaning that unless you are a motherfucking wizard, the one source of universal and public magic has been cut off. all villagers that relied on water and fire magic have been cut off. farmers that need earth magic are cut off.

of course this is not her fault because again she is an objectivly good person with a good heart so she tut tuts the fairies for depriving villagers of clean drinking water and easy acess to heat and light for a week and the story moves on.

she learns more magic, she summons the fairy of time and they platoniclly flirt because ruri is a completely heterosexual girl.

the fairy of time is a simp and donates to her only dimensional space. one item of which is a bracelet that turns her into a cat, fulfilling one item on the title.

she goes to the market, her special chosen one powers make her super duper populer and people naturally want her advice and to give her money

wait a second, what time is it?

OH FUCK, WE HAVENT COMPLAINED ABOUR ASASHI IN A BIT!

SHE HAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE OF ASASHI GIVING UP HER DREAM LIFE IN A FANTASY WORLD TO BE WITH HER, THIS IS CONSIDERED A BAD THING, IN ANY OTHER MANGA THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED A ROMANCE TO END ALL ROMANCES

she decides to leave and go to the city of dragons because fuck it, thats a thing to do, she has to tell them she is the special chosen one with the blue eyes and blonde hair.

we cut for a second our lead.

as you can see the prince through his actions is a completely heterosexual man, one that loves Boobs And Vagina. as one can clearly Tell.

anyways the prince is creepy, he walks through town in disgues, happens upon ruri and without a second thought proceeds to do this:

gross.

anyways, the prince tells his homophobic advisors that he met a girl and they immeditly start a witch hunt for her while ruri enters the room as a cat to establish that again, she is the special chosen one of destiny.

anyways she meets the prince and nothing happens. the fairies threaten to kill everyone with the knowladge that ruri has apocalyptic plot armor.

now, to explain what a special chosen one is:

"hey dox, pre-emptivly asking a question, why would their ever be a chosen one? it seems their sole existance is to get a small scratch and make everyone die about it."

GREAT QUESTION, I DONT FUCKING KNOW, THEY APPERENTLY CAUSE PROSPARITY BUT I HAVE YET TO SEE IT, NOT EVEN A GOD DAMN DECENT 401K

anyways the prince gets Really attached to the Cat

Really Close.

this is explained through the fact that they have simalier wavelengths or similier magic types, meaning that they feel lonely without each other nearby.

the manga is astouindingly quick to stifle any comparison to asashi because remeber, asashi is Objectivly Bad and Unloveable.

Remember, Wanting to be friends with someone and not immeditly knowing if they like you or not makes you an objectivly Bad and Annoying person.

cut forward a bit, more werid cat flirting and she gets a job outside the palace... anyways she hears knews that the kingdom she was exiled from is wageing a war against the nation of dragons. this is handwaved as being something they just do when they find some cool magic shit.

but notably, the reason for the war has changed, as rumors have emerged that the priestess of the kingdom is supporting the war to save ruri who they belive to be kidnapped.

she gets sad about this and goes to the grandma to whine about it.

so we can see here a few things.

we are supposed to belive that its completely unreasonable for asashi to make the assumption that her best friend has been kidnapped.

that it is her fault for allowing a war to happen when we know that regardless of her support they would wage it regardless

ruri only considers asashi a friend when it is deemed attractive to her moral charecter.

yes this is the first time ruri has every said that asashi is anything resembling a friend to her.

she slips into the castle after some poverty porn about how evil and bad this kingdom is, we get a brief scene showing the king is planning on makeing sure both asashi and the prince die because he finds him annoying (I guess he has a strong and objectivly good soul)

"Man, isnt asashi awful, worrying about her friend like that? wanting people to help her find her? isnt she just the fucking Worse ever?"

im going insane, the worm has won, they have consumed any rational part of my brain and replaced it with the vast rot of whatever fucking bizarro verse this manga demands me to be within.

the two friends finally reunite after being seperated for so long.

we get a sob story about a time she broke her watch because again, asashis charm powers make people jealous of how close she is to asashi, so they bullied her and since asashi has literally never seen anyone ever act anything like that because again, everyone s magically forced to love her unconditionally, she doesnt belive her.

and of course she dosent belive her either but instead of just blindly saying no to ruri, she says she'll talk to them about it, when its clear ruri fucking hates that idea, and gets ready to leave with a little cryptic warning, she asks to flee with her

which again is displayed as a creepy and werid thing because she accidently uses her charm magic that we have established she has no control over. again, in any other manga the idea that while you may not belive what you hear, you are willing to give up any comfort to be with your friend, would be considered the most profound act of love. please feel free to contrast this to captian hair sniffer and Cat spooner.

I cannot add any more images so lets speed run this. asashi is shaken up so she goes to the king to ask him whats going on, he says "Mind control" which lets be perfectly clear, is an established and perfectly reasonable thing to belive can happen in a magical fucking world, asashi is shown to be dumb for belive this.

war happens and nothing happens, dragons win by a land slide and asashi gets captured.

she dosent belive the dragon princes words and all of her allies that got captured with her are placed in an anti magic zone and now hate her completely because again, without magic, asashi is completely and utterly unloveable.

ruri makes friends with another god and they learn that asashi convinced a guard to let her go because i guess that charm magic works whenever. but shes stuck in a dungeon and she may run into the soldiers who i guess the charm magic wont work on which leaves us with this haunting scene:

we are told that asashi legitamitly does not understand what the fuck is going on, she does not understand why they hate her, she just thought she was going to save her fucking friend.

Behold Your Antagonist.

it ends with that.

here are the questions.

"Is the underlying story, barring any other concept, good?" 

Kinda. its vary bland and vary generic. its a romance that does not know how to present itself a romance. it is a romance that spends more time complaining about someone then being in love.

"on a sliding scale of min to max, how much is the author using this to explore fetish" 

none, the few saveing graces.

"How many story crutches does the author use to explore the story" 

an absurd amount, from the plot contrivances to the power cliches, to the physical attributes denoting specialness to ensure we and the charecters know to treat her in a special way.

 "Is the author attempting to use the story as a way to explain why he is not weird."

yeah, if you have any fucking trouble with social interactions or cant read people, then you are an objectively bad person, and if you are somehow populer, no one actully loves you, and they are being forced to love you.

[reckless-lambert]

Anyways kinda wanna talk about characters unprompted (mostly the ones I rarely mention for one reason or another):

Espio - I hate him, I despise him he is awful, he sucks, I wanna kill him, but... in a good way! It's so funny to have that one character you genuinely hate, like it's the joy and whimsy of fiction, he is awesome. Idk if it's intentional, but it's the way I feel it. It's kinda hard to write about characters you hate, but I really like when other people do it. As for other members of chaotix I simply don't care about them 😅.

Silver - I like his fruitless quest, the way he is overpowered, but ultimately useless against awful fate that seems to befall the future no matter what. He is interesting, but so demanding on the plot, what is the reason for him to be around 🤔 How did he get here this time? What time is it for him? People just don't wanna bother with it most of the time and it makes him really boring to me. I can clearly see some doomed Silvaze yuri plot vaguely based on Madoka magica where Silver would do anything to save Blaze, but no matter what she dies to seal Iblis.

Rouge - she's fun, but I doubt she will willingly stick around Sonic & co, they are too boring for her. She is freakosexual. I feel like collecting weird people is her hobby, it's not even romantic per say, it's just something that makes her life interesting, the problem is that main cast is too boring, so it's hard for me to see them interacting in the way most people write it.

Blaze - to be honest with you I didn't play sonic rush and know nothing about all that sol dimension stuff nor do I really care about that because it makes you question her appearance or absence in any given plot (it's almost a superhero problem, but worse - Were they too busy? Why don't they need help from time to time? Why don't the villains of both worlds bond together over a common enemy). I guess it's some "I don't meddle in your affairs and you don't meddle in mine" between Sonic and Blaze, but it feels so weird. Anyways my experience with Blaze is from 06 where she plays a minor role until it is time for her sacrifice to seal iblis, but it doesn't matter anyways. I like how she gives us Silver's characterisation through their interactions and her concern for him, but I wish there were more content about this Blaze because those are less than crumbs.

Babylon rogues - I saw them mostly through sonic riders 1, but from what I saw they were really cool, it's the kind of rivalry Sonic haven't had before. They are evil shitters who play dirty, but they are good at it, I feel like it's the most frustrating thing Sonic would face and that beast should be bothered 😁. And to me no one encapsulates their vibe more than Wave, she is spectacularly irritating and I love her for it.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Otoya so puntable fr I wanna throw him across a field

For the sake of easier reading I will leave my hollyhock comments at the end of this ask so it’s not smack in the middle of us rambling LMAOO

I really need to see Karasu at an aquarium now (someone get me the P.O. Box of the BLLK author I need to send a lengthy request pls next off day GO TO AN AQUARIUM) on that not HOKYBCRAP I just remembered Osaka is famous for its aquarium because they have a whale shark?????? Imagine bro goes there and is scared SHITLESS like whale shark literally in the vicinity of his neighborhood that is so funny to me (I can imagine he eats takoyaki as revenge on octopuses)

And MEE idk what I’m gonna do when BLLK is over….well we fs have another big match arc with the World Cup that they’re currently waiting to play for…I’ve seen some ppl theorize that they might do a time skip thing like haikyuu where we see them going pro and whatnot but bro I do not want to think about BLLK ending like wdym I won’t see my silly little boys anymore….hopefully when that time comes it’ll give way for a lot of spinoff stories like I’d love to see more things like epinagi but for other characters (I’m coping but I really wanna see the light novel content animated or something)

Haha…discord and Reddit…such lovely places…..yeah I stay away from discord for similar reasons LMAO

Oh wait you’re so right….bruh I see those booktok accounts every so often and I’m like…how did you even get past the title for this book….have you seen people talking about like the pillow book or the door book??? I wanna know who actually thinks of that plot bc PLEASE it’s so wp coded like wtaf im sorry

Also I wanna know why Ao3 is BARREN when it comes to BLLK content that isn’t ship stories like….every so often I’ll take a look and the search results have barely changed within like six months man

Ok but HOLLYHOCK COMMENTARY SENGOKU PERIOD AU>>>> LMAOO so this is what you were referring to when you posted about finding a side character to make the villain…bye hiiragi LMFAOO ok assassin Otoya SO REAL when yuki showed up I was almost expecting it to be Otoya but this makes sm more sense LMAOO (yuki always committing some sort of crime in your plots it’s so funny) I’m living for it though…..y/n sacrificing her half brother to live FINALLY I love a good mc with a sense of self preservation that overrides any duty to a shitty family…also the cursed/bad omen child trope too perfect set up for angst I’m excited to see where it goes

-Karasu anon

I’M SAYINGGG BRO I JUST WANT TO TOSS HIM AROUND LIKE A LITTLE FOOTBALL 😭 meanwhile baby karasu i want to tie a ribbon around he’s just a little boy full of joy and whimsy i love him

PLEASE OMG WHEN HE’S A KID HIS PARENTS TAKE HIM TO THE AQUARIUM AND HE STARTS BAWLING 😓 that whale shark is his biggest enemy fr…omg a post nel aquarium trip would be so fun esp because we have karasu kurona and bachira who would def all go crazy for it (in diff ways). karasu loving seafood because it’s a way for him to control marine life/the water which he hates because he can’t predict ⁉️ could be funny could be meta the choice is yours 👆🏻

oh 100% they’re def going to do the wc arc and possibly even show some of the boys going pro…i do hope there’s a timeskip at the end because i want to see what they’re all up to but at the same time i also love open endings so if they didn’t do that i wouldn’t mind!! as long as the ending is satisfactory. imagine the conclusion is just ego and anri going to jail though HDKDJDS pls 😭 once it’s over i’m going to be so sad…luckily w the rate episode nagi is going we’ll at least have that for a while longer!!

discord and reddit are certainly. well. they are places!! and i am blessed to say idk what you’re talking about but w the amount of weird smut i see on there i shudder to imagine what you’re talking about. personally i’m pro-dark content even though i don’t read a lot of it myself because i believe all art and expression is worthy but it’s the way that some of these people engage with and react to dc that’s a little odd to me. idk it’s weird for sure…me personally i stay far away!!

THERE IS NOTHING ON AO3 FOR BLLK except for nagireo fics lowkey 😭😭😭 hopefully with season 2 coming out it’ll get more popular and we’ll see more content!! i’d never say no to more reader inserts but also character studies?? ONE fic exploring anri or ego or the itoshi brothers without any romance?? a michael kaiser-centric fic that portrays him as who he actually is (at least in my opinion)?? i’d write it myself but there’s only so much one girl can do 😔

bro hiiragi is even more random than kira PLSS i almost reused kira but then i was like “no i can’t slander the same character twice.” honestly though he has a very historical vibe to him if that makes sense?? and the name hiiragi is so clan-like HAHA idk idk it just felt right.

i feel like arranged marriages are so commonly paired w historical aus i wanted to do smth diff!! plus otoya does not scream arranged marriage to me. i was talking to one of my moots and i joked abt how the ninja butt trap panel broke my writer’s block but that’s actually not a joke…the whole ninja obsession otoya has (plus him canonically being descended from a ninja??) made me think “okay what if he WAS a ninja???” and from there i began looking into ninjas…and it was wraps after that!! apparently they were most prominent in the sengoku era and basically used as spies/assassins hence the setting and otoya’s introduction in the story

PLEASE yuki is the biggest tabieita x reader hater 😭 he does not want those boys winning ong 😕 he’s going to be really interesting in the future of the fic hehe i’m so excited!!

oh one thing about me you can trust i will be writing a flawed selfish reader ���� this mc is based loosely and vaguely on oda nobunaga actually!! emphasizing the ‘loosely’ part because the resemblance is barely there honestly unless you look really hard for it — however that should give you an idea of what kind of person she’s going to grow into (with otoya and [redacted]’s help ofc).

AHH the question is is she actually cursed or are the hiiragis just biased 🤔 hehe i can’t wait to write more too omg the only thing i’m worried for is when karasu finally pulls up because wdym the loml is in a fic and he’s not madly in love w the mc???

[anandabrat]

Nightmare Warehouse, Day 10... in which I figure out @starshipblueberry and I can't do math, and hastily make two sections out of one...

Jack and Santa have not stopped talking. They are sharing stories of their long years of masters of their holidays. They keep laughing and their laughs are so discordant and yet… there is no denying the joy. That fast friendship that comes when two people are kindred spirits. Perhaps as different as night and day, but their hearts, those beat the same. 

Myka appears quiet, but now that she and Sally have drawn up a quiet truce to stop fighting over their body, they are able to talk to each other easily and silently. 

You’re troubled. 

I am. In my world… this isn’t even an option, Sally. We can’t bring children back from the dead. We don’t sew people together out of rags. 

How are children made, then?

Myka sighs. 

I don’t even know where to start to explain that. It’s all biology and sex and sometimes science and… pain. And indescribable joy. And love. 

Sally sighs. 

I don’t know some of those words, but I know pain, and joy, and love. When I was made… 

Sally reaches deep into her memories trying to find a way to explain to Myka what it feels like to be sewed together out of rags. You’re not there at all one minute and then suddenly! The exquisite pain of having limbs to move, the joy of having a voice to sing, and the love I once felt for the man who gave me life. And the deep searing hate that developed as he told me day after day to be quiet, stop running, cook dinner, wash clothes, be quiet, be patient, be quiet!

That’s what I’m afraid of, Sally. What if… what if Christina doesn’t… what if she is miserable, like you are? Isn’t it hard to be made the way you were made?

Oh Myka. The man who made me, he made me to be his plaything, his maid, his mother. And I'm not any of those things! I’m magic and whimsy and yes I suffer, there is suffering, but… Myka. There is wonder. I’m not what he made me, what he imagined. That wasn’t the first time I had jumped out of my tower. I’m not trapped here. 

I’m trapped here though! Pete and Helena and I - we don’t belong here. And no one seems to worry that Christina… Sally, what if she can’t come with us? And what if we can’t stay?

Sally is silent for a long moment. Myka cries.  The leaves start to crunch under their feet. They are getting close to home. 

Jack and I will never let anyone harm Christina. We can’t know… the consequences of this plan. But I can promise you, I will never let anyone lock this baby in a tower. 

Sally wipes Myka’s tears. Jack looks over his shoulder at her, and smiles softly. The plan is made, the outcome unknown. For the first time ever, the Skeleton King is not sure what happens next, but he is not alone. And that warms his cold bones, and his heart finally beats easily. He slows his stride and reaches for Sally’s hand. 

***

Steve, Claudia and Leena carefully circle the building. Surely there has to be another way in, besides the trapdoor that opens into empty space.

“Artie?” Claudia keeps calling, but nobody answers.

Finally, they find the rope, and they lower Claudia down. She has to leave her hat outside and she’s suddenly conscious of how small she is. How short her arms are.

She’s never been afraid of Artie, but Shock is definitely afraid of Oogie.

“Artie?” she calls again, into the pitch black.

Something crawls past her foot.

***

Santa told Jack the path to follow. 

Santa gave Helena a list to check twice.

Santa told Sally they needed her hands. 

Santa gave Myka a BB gun straight from his bag.

“This is what you wanted most of all, Myka Bering, when you were five. Your father hid it from you, but you can’t hide things from Santa.”

Jack and Helena set off for Paris.

Sally and Myka set off for home.

[collectoroflovelythings]

✨💕🏳️‍🌈 & the owl house for the hyperfixation asks!

Thank you babe, you get me

✨ What draws you toward your hyperfixation

Okay, so where do I begin. It’s just all around such a great show. It’s very tightly written show with really good pacing (lumity happened at just the right time, I will die on this hill) It’s beautifully animated, with such good character design and worldbuilding. I love a fantasy world that’s really grimy and off-putting but still really fantastical, it’s like dark whimsy it’s so cool. All the characters are so well written, with great dynamics, the found family theme is so touching and perfectly written, seriously the dynamic between Eda, Luz, & King is perfect. It’s a lot of representation that’s good representation that because the writing is so good. It handles so many mature themes for a kids show yet is also really funny and brings me so much joy and comfort

💕tell us about your favorite characters and why you like them

Oh boy, here we go

Luz: perfect baby bisexual, love my black Latina baby, best girl, perfect protect at all costs. She’s like the perfect weird girl, like she’s in no way a cleaned up or Hollywood-ified weird girl, I see her and go: yes that is exactly what an awkward teen girl is like. I see so much of myself in her especially my younger self, I would have inprinted on her so hard if I watched this show when I was younger, and now that I’m older it’s just like “protect, protect at all costs” She’s really perfect as a protagonist, she’s an outsider in a new world so you can learn about the world through her but that also helps with her character development and her growing as a person. She’s really balanced as a character, her neurodivergence isn’t demonized and is part of why she’s so great but also sometime her behavior is destructive or harmful and she has to learn from it, she goes so far to help those she loves but sometimes she oversteps and ends up messing things up and takes to much responsibility on herself, she’s kind but also is really sassy and not above manipulating situations to her advantage, she’s merciful but also has boundaries and isn’t afraid to cut a bitch if she needs to. She’s insecure and fears rejection but also is a ray of sunshine in everyone’s life. She’s delightful, love my baby

Eda: harpy mama, the milf, mean femme rights, tacky femme rights, trashy femme rights, MY MOM. I love her so, I love having an older queer chronically ill coded protagonist, I love having a character like that be a mom. I admire her so much and she’s kind of everything I strive to be when I’m older. She’s so sassy and funny and eccentric and marvelous. I love how she acts as a mom, how’s she sassy and talks back and wants her kids to talk back to her, but she’s still really soft and caring and incredibly protective and would do anything for them. She’s so strong, she’s been through so much. She’s been misunderstood and shunned since she was a child, been dealing with a curse that made her hate herself for most of her life, had to fight off her family’s attempts to cure her, lost the love of her life because she couldn’t accept help. She has such low self worth and blames herself for things that really aren’t her fault, and in a lot of ways doesn’t think she’s worthy of help, but she’s growing so much and still cares so much about those she loves, and cares for those who are rejected and abandoned as well. She gives me happy feelings.

I wanna do more but this is really long so I’ll stop here for now.

🏳️‍🌈do you have any head cannons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc)

Surprising not a lot. I really like non-binary she/they luz and kinda like the idea of trans-femme Eda. This isn’t really a head canon but my interpretation of Stan/Eda being divorced is that while Stan never got over her, Eda has mostly forgotten this ever happened (side note: Eda’s stages of grief definitely included a horny stage, and since I probably won’t find a another time to mention it I don’t think Eda nor Raine were chaste in the years after them breaking, nor should they have been, I’m against the idea that you’re only allowed to be with/in love with more than one person, they were apart for twenty god-damn years) oh and this is just softly cute to me: Raine and Eda aren’t really big on pda, not because they’re ashamed they’re just private like that, so they only hold hands when they’re around people they really trust and also they sneak in kisses when they think no one is looking, so is kind of a big deal if someone like Luz happens to see them kids. I’m torn between Blondie being gay or bi, doesn’t really matter either way. Nothing else comes to mind right now, except really small things like that I think Lilith picked up a lot of small hobbies throughout her life like calligraphy and origami and that Amity can’t cook to save her life (that’s actually sort of implied)

(From this ask)

[sonicfanj]

Why do you prefer Amy over Sally?

I’ve taken to long to answer this question and would like to first thank you for your patience Anon.

So, I suppose a bit of an explanation for why I took so long is due as well. Mostly, it was a lack of time but also trying to find a way to define ‘why’. There are an awful lot of ways I could go about it as I am the type of person who is heavily invested in the details. Unfortunately the more I thought about it the harder it was going to get for me to really actually break it down. Fortunately, something recently reminded me of the role the Uncle Chuck plays in it and I can fortunately use him to transition into my history with the characters.

Now, I’ve been a Sonic fan for a long time, all the way back to 1991 actually with the original. As a US citizen naturally I saw SatAM and AoStH on TV as well. Where I get strange from what I see though is that I was quite the picky kid. I couldn’t understand why Sonic did not match his in game design, and had no idea what was wrong with Eggman. And yes, even back in the early 90s I was one of the few kids who knew the Japanese name was his original name, though I used them interchangeably back then. The thing is though, neither show ever looked like the games and that bothered me to no end. I recall that my older siblings and I preferred SatAM to AoStH for the more serious story and atmosphere, even likening it to the bad futures of Sonic CD. There in though is where the divide begins.

I was one of the very few kids who played Sonic CD back in 1993 and to this day it is still my favorite Sonic game, no less video game of all time. I actually did not play the higher praised by the fanbase Death Egg Saga games until Sonic Jam on the SEGA Saturn and that little collection did something for me that Sonic CD had also done. They showed me with the OVA trailer that Sonic and Eggman could be drawn properly. It showed me that Tails could be colored properly. They showed me that the wonder of the games could be captured in animation. It was glorious and to this day still leaves me yearning for a Sonic anime that actually captures it. Sonic CD on it’s own though was already killing SatAM for me.

A lot of people praise the Freedom Fighters. That quirky crew of rebels has brought so many people so much joy and I have nothing but respect for them for that. The thing is though, they were forgettable to me. When I turned my back on pretty much anything that was not the games that I knew I completely forgot about them until I finally got involved in the fanbase after Sonic Generations was announced and I had to do some major research to know what anyone was talking about. A game centric upbringing with only really main games as those I played will do that.

Amy meanwhile, despite CD being the only game I played that she was in until Adventure just struck me right. Her design, her on screen personality. These things just filled me with joy and it was very rare that I would not interreact with her in Palm Tree Panic as much as I could. I was actually so disappointed her design was changed for Adventure but her personality was exactly what I was expecting; a sweet bubbly girl with a lot of spunk and a love for Sonic.

So at this point I should come back around to Uncle Chuck as he will be necessary to explain why it took so long for me to even find anything in Sally worth enjoying, no less actually liking her come the 252 reboot. As I mentioned above, Sonic CD is my favorite game all time, but for as much as I loved Amy even back in 1993, Metal Sonic was my favorite character. Getting to Stardust Speedway and spending hours trying to beat him were the highlights with my playing back the until I finally beat him and cleared the game. That difficulty endeared Metal Sonic to me and left a very strong impression on me that still persists to this day. The thing is, Metal Sonic was my childhood and Uncle Chuck was a slap in the face.

You may recall that back in SatAM and a lot of early Archie, Uncle Chuck spent a lot of time roboticized. Now I know I did not see SatAM regularly because TV stations are questionable in their practices and I have parents who wanted the TV for their own shows. As a result I was unprepared for his introduction and in the cliffhanger where they simply showed a pair of red glowing eyes, little Metal Sonic fan that I was thought they were introducing Metal Sonic. When the next episode revealed it was a roboticized Uncle Chuck and not Metal Sonic, it was the last straw for the kid that was into Sonic for the games, and I only had access to two of them. Yet I turned my back on SatAM and everything made in the US that was not directly related to the games.

So because of Uncle Chuck my primary exposure to the cast were the main games and Sonic CD. Adventure finally let me play as Amy and the Freedom Fighters were a shoved aside memory from a wasted opportunity who never impressed themselves onto me. All of that changed come Generations as X showed me that even the Japanese could butcher the games I love and not draw Sonic right and as I joined the fandom through the US Sally should have had the chance to impress herself upon me. Unfortunately she was not given that opportunity because of her fans.

As is obvious, I’m an Amy fan. When I joined the fandom being an Amy fan in the US was not seen as a good thing and the war of hatred between Sally fans and Amy fans still has scars left over today throughout the Sonic community. When presented with Sally through the fans I interacted with, Sally was simply perfection incarnate and Amy should die in a fire while Sonic worships her for killing the hellspawn. It was not a good experience and offered no support for the games and the adventures I enjoyed and came to Sonic for. I also for a time came to despise the character solely for her fans which happened to me in recent years with the Tales of Franchise and the character Alisha. Unpleasant fans make it difficult to enjoy a character or even come to at least understand them. Fortunately I was willing to do some research of my own because I still felt like I needed the knowledge, and maybe the character could speak for herself. I was in for quite a bit of disappointment.

What my research turned up at the time was a character who was simultaneously useless, nothing more but an object of power for Sonic to worship like an indoctrinated thrall, and managed to match Tails in point of view at the time of dumbing Sonic down to where I felt in their presences he couldn’t figure out he was supposed to open his own mouth to eat if they weren’t there. This may be hard to believe but I actually disliked Tails quite a bit for several years as Sonic seemed to be constantly dumbed down so Tails could be useful rather than the kid who could keep up if he gave his all. Yet the OVA (subbed) saved Tails for me. Sally meanwhile continued to undermine Sonic with the Genesis Story during the events of Sonic 1 via the first Genesis Wave where she “helped” Sonic find the courage to enter the water in Labyrinth Zone and he found it not so bad because of her. It was one of the few times I found why people called her a Mary Sue.

What finally saved Sally for me was actually Amy. Though I never liked how aggressive and violent Amy had become compared to playful and mischievous from Sonic X on, and a coming reexamination of her character after learning she addressed Sonic a certain way in the Japanese manuals leading me to fully fall for Kazuyuki Hoshino’s vision of her, her conversations with Mecha Sally would turn the tide for Sally. Amy being Amy spoke of friendship and the friendship they had. While I never read the comics and could not examine their relationship, come the reboot in 252, from the get go the two were shown as good friends and I could finally see Sally’s character. She was wise tactically and cared for her friends, bit was also highly responsible and took her duties seriously. In Amy and her friends she found the comfort to unwind and just be another person no matter what was going on. Her and Amy’s chats while going around the world during the lead up to and during the Unleashed adaption made her fun and enjoyable, no less relatable. She was finally a character, a person, and not just an object that Sonic was chained to like a slobbering cartoon dog with their bone. It was refreshing and I enjoy the friendship between Sally and Amy so much that I still feel if the Freedom Fighters were to have been adapted to IDW for just a cameo that Sally would have been the perfect friend to hand the Restoration off to as she finally returned to her own adventuring ways. And that right there is the big difference point.

I come to Sonic for adventure, whimsy, and wonder. The sense of discover of meeting new people and seeing wonderous new locations. I love characters full of life and the love for adventure. Sally, unfortunately for her, does not represent that. Her role for years kept Sonic away from those adventures. Instead of supporting whimsy and constant new discovery, she supported stability and staying forever at home. By the nature of her role as a character and in universe, she just can’t be that type of character and that is not her fault. Amy meanwhile is a character designed to follow Sonic no matter where he goes. That she also is a girly-tomboy, one of my favorite character archetypes, but also bubbly and silly, playful and mischievous, and generally full of good cheer and limitless positivity (or used to be at lease) just always entertains me. That she also has the courage to open wear and express her emotions, including her love, is both entertaining on one hand, but also inspiring on another when you are raised in a society that hates honesty, emotions, and expressing that you love someone. Amy was refreshing, whereas Sally when I first looked into her, and her fans that I interacted with, represented oppression and that being you was the worst thing that could ever happen to the human race, something that Sonic and Amy both stand against. Fortunately Amy showed me there is plenty to like with Sally, and it’s a real shame her character was vaulted before that potential could finally be perceived. And yet, in the end, as I grew up on the main games and had my expectations born of them and further refined as I learned more and more of the Japanese lore for the games, Sally and the role she has could never provide me with what I come to Sonic for. Adventure, the whimsy that gives rise to it, the discovers that come from it, and the heroics at it’s climax. Sally by nature is not a whimsical character, nor should she be. It isn’t who she is and she deserves to be respected for that. And it’s thanks to her friendship with Amy that I finally saw that and can enjoy her character. But like Amy, I want to follow Sonic on his adventures, and her bubbly, playful, cheerful, optimistic, and mischievous personality makes following Sonic that much more enjoyable to me.

To simplify it here at the end, my love of Metal Sonic and Uncle Chuck prevented me from ever learning who Sally was. It was Amy’s friendship with her that finally changed that and I found a character who has a lot of potential and is quite enjoyable on her own. But Amy’s personality, whimsy, and propensity for adventure, or the the trouble that will take her on one, makes her the more enjoyable character for me. I know the whole explanation was a little long, but I hope it helps explains my preference for you Anon. Thanks for asking.

[joshlistens]

I wrote fiction for the first time in forever.

This one’s for you, @bace-jeleren.

Characters featured include Bace’s fanwalkers Megumi and Grii, as well as the debut of my fanwalker, Gozha. Megumi and Grii appear with permission. Thanks to Bace for being an inspiring figure in the M:tG Tumblr community.

TW: physical violence (not on Megumi). Grii gets a little bit of her Grii on when she meets Gozha.

Duets

Gozha smiled in a way that he hoped was reassuring. “Look, I know my request seems ridiculous—”

“It is dramatically unsafe, sir—”

“—and it may seem like a rather prosaic, proletarian, possibly even precocious use of your pyromantic prowess—”

“We don’t want to choose how people worship, sir, but this is just—”

“—but I came all this way—”

“The distance you’ve travelled is immaterial, sir—”

“—and I would really quite like to eat these deliciously spicy peppers while they are infused with elemental flame.”

The Regathan monk stared at him.

“And stuffed with this cheese I acquired from a terrific little town near Jhessia.”

The monk still stared.

“Pyromantic peppers. It’s the obvious next step in hot food. You could make it a business." 

Silence.

"I’m prepared to make a very large donation to your temple if you allow this hagiography to heat.”

The monk thought for a moment, then stepped back. "Please, come in. I suppose if nothing else, the Abbess may be entertained by your request.”

“Thank you so much!” Gozha beamed, and proceeded into the hall. Good. There was always a chance the holy types would see his horns, red eyes, lavender skin, and generally demonic countenance and take it as an opportunity for some smiting. He hated that. He’d spent more than thirty years as a fencer and duelist in Valor’s Reach before becoming a commentator and journalist on the sport, while his clerical opponents had usually spent about two or three years across the piste from a training dummy. It’s never fun when the “demon” wins. 

“Sir, are you alright? You keep scratching at those scars.”

“No, I’m fine. You’ve got quite the calm countenance, though. I usually unnerve people.”

"We are… used to strangers here at Keral Keep. In fact, there is another visitor who you might be able to help us with. You are azra, yes? From a place called Kylem?”

Gozha’s eyebrows shot up.

“Did it hurt when you lost most of that one horn? I’ve never known someone with horns, or who’d lost one, to ask.”

He paused. “If my mouth still moves after I pop those pyro-peppers, I’ll tell you the tale." 

"Fair enough.” The monk folded his hands within his robes. “I ask because our visitor comes from Kylem, and you might be able to assist her. She is quite young, and in distress.”

“… Are you alright? I look like several people fought me for their souls and won. I’m not the type to have cherished children in my charge.”

"Well, if I may—you have traveled across many different realms solely for the experience of putting peppers infused with literal, actual fire in your mouth. You have more dueling scars than I have summers, you have more gray hair than I have hair, you are clearly far too busy to shave, and if the way you move is any indication you are either a swordsman or a dancer of some skill.”

“What if I’m both?” Gozha grinned.

“Then I will begin developing my powers of prophecy as well as pyromancy. Regardless. You remind me of the Abbess in many ways. You’ve got a reassuring way about you, despite,” he waved at Gozha, “all this." 

Before he could ask what that meant, the monk continued. "Anyway, our charge is here in the mess hall, and hopefully calm. I’ll leave you to her and go ask after the Abbess.”

“What’s your name, by the by? I’m Gozha.”

The monk smiled beatifically. “I’ve learned not to give my name to your type. Your enemies tend to follow you, and I don’t need more ruckus.” He moved off down the hall.

The duelist watched the monk proceed through shaft after shaft of light from the windows, finally at a loss. 

“Excuse me mister, are you from Ky—GOZHA!”

A tiny soratami cannonball launched itself into his legs. Gozha was nearly bowled over by the impact.

“Hey… you!” he grinned, as he desperately tried to recognize the child he found himself hugging. “It’s great to greet you! How’ve you been?”

He had misjudged—she wasn’t happy, she was sniffling and crying. That wasn’t a happiness cannonball, that was a comfort-me cannonball. “I can’t go home,” she said. “Can you help me get home?”

“Maybe!” No duets, now. This was serious. He kneeled, brushing her tears away. Black eyes. Where had he seen a soratami child with black eyes before? “Where’s home?”

“You were there! You were there for two whole days one time with Daddy and three other people! You never left the bedroom, though. And there were lots of bottles. And noises. I heard—”

“You heard us having fun, yes, the way consenting adults do,” he hastily interrupted her. “And there were many bottles. I remember now, Megumi. I didn’t know you could planeswalk!" 

She nodded. "Mommy and Daddy took me on lots of trips. But then the one-eyed lady came and almost killed me with her sword… a-and I had to get out.” She twisted the bottom hem of her shirt between her hands. It was stained with tears. “I can’t go home, though. I need to go home. Can you help me?" 

"Well, maybe. I’ll try. Come over here.” He took her hand and led her to one of the mess hall benches. A half-eaten meal sat on a plate nearby.

“Listen carefully, Megumi. When you planeswalk, you have to sort of… aim yourself for where you’re going. It’s not an exact science. Can you do that? Can you aim yourself at home?”

She shook her head. “I’m trying! But every time I try it doesn’t work. And I don’t wanna try again because it’s safe here.” Those big black eyes squinted at him. “You need to shave.”

“… Yeah, you’re Wren’s kid alright.” He rested his chin in his palm and looked at her. “Which means you’re Kuro’s kid. Which means you’ve probably got a plan all worked out, am I right?” He winked.

She nodded happily. “Yup! I’m going to wait here. It’s safe here. And they know what planeswalking is, which means other planeswalkers might come here and help me go home. Like you!" 

"Like me, yes.” He smiled. An awful feeling was brewing in the pit of his stomach. “You’re sure you can’t, kind of… ” He made several small, useless gestures. “… aim yourself? If you think really hard about home, does that work?”

“No.” She scrunched her face up like she was concentrating. “No. She might still be there with her sword. It's too much. I'm too scared.” She looked up at him. “Can you hold my hand?" 

He swallowed hard. "No, Megumi, I’m sorry, I can’t. It doesn’t work that way for me." 

She started crying, as he knew she would. Poor thing. 

"Hey, hey now,” he said, out of his element. “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. Here,” he pulled the plate of half-eaten food over, “have some dinner. Food always makes me feel better.” He tried to smile. 

She pushed it away. “I tried that. I don’t like it.” She sniffed. “It’s too spicy." 

He pushed his sudden spark of joy aside. "What does make you feel better?" 

"I like when you do duets,” she murmured, looking up at him. “They’re so clever.”

“Well, what a wonderful wish we have here!” he grinned, his mind racing. “Whereupon a wee wayward wanderer waits and wants for what? A wild wyrd of weird words and wanton whimsy! What fun!”

Megumi giggled. “So many! Aren’t there just supposed to be two at a time?”

He winked again. “Can a blarney bairn blame me for boosting her beautiful bunny-ears with the best benificence my booming baritone can blast?”

She giggled again. “No, she can’t!” Despite himself, he began to understand Wren’s choices a little more.

“I can!”

Gozha spun, which put his jaw in perfect position for the incoming punch. He saw stars and darkness. He heard Megumi scream, but it was cut short by a rush of warm air. 

Someone grabbed his collar, pulled him off the bench, and threw him up against a stone wall. He could feel a foreign fear start to steal through his chest. Terror magic.

“You know, there’s one thing I never understood about you, Gozha,” a snarling female voice said. “Why do you always alliterate?”

“Like that?”

“Shut up.” A single, huge hand gripped his lapels and lifted him several feet in the air. The fear magic was making his vision tunnel – all he could see was one enormous, furious eye and some cheekbones. “Why do you do those irritating ‘duets’? Call and response. Everything’s an alliteration. Like you don’t have anything interesting to say.”

He tried to muscle down on the cold fingers of terror magic working their way through his heart, but they gripped harder, paralyzing him. “Maybe I just don’t want to tell you all the tantalizing tidbits. ,” he said, desperate. “Maybe I save all my curious curios and glorious gossip for when you’re gone." 

"Filthy azra,” she growled, letting go. He collapsed to the ground. He barely felt her enormous boot as it crunched into his ribcage. "Where did she go?”

“The wee wanderer? Whither and whence.” He forced out a tremulous laugh and spat blood. “If you try, I’m sure you’ll trip over her. But I’d rather hinder than help, frankly.”

“I know,” the huge, muscular woman said, crouching down. “You’re Gozha. Washed-up old fencer. A coward. Eking out money writing about the games at Valor’s Reach. Probably living on a pittance in some tenement somewhere. So much for the old glory, huh?” Her voice took on a taunting, terrifying, childish lilt. “Aren’t all planeswalkers supposed to be great wizards? Where’s your magic, huh? What’s your special talent?”

“Swordsmanship and shit-disturbing.” He smiled through the blood starting to cloud his vision and the icy hand on his heart. He could barely see. “You’re wasting time. The wee wanderer’s ‘walked three or four more times by now. Better go catch her. And pray her parents and I don’t fetch you first.”

“Excuse me, did you require the services of Keral Keep in some fashion, or did you wish to continue abusing our guest here?”

The huge woman snarled and stood. “I will kill you!” she growled. “I will kill you in a way that makes your brothers weep to hear your name." Seeing that she was three full heads taller than the monk, she advanced on him. Her smile was a terrifying thing. "What is your—”

She was interrupted by a slim lance of flame that pushed itself through her sternum in the blink of an eye. Gozha hadn’t even seen the monk make a gesture with his hands. The cyclops woman screamed and vanished, with other, fainter screams chasing after her. The icy hand around his heart let go. The lance of flame became smoke. In its place, the air seemed to grow colder, almost biting. 

“I don’t give you people my name,” said the monk. He looked at Gozha. “Are you alright?”

Gozha grunted.“Yes.” He stood. “I spoke with your… guest, before we were interrupted. She left, but she’ll be okay, hopefully soon.”

The monk helped Gozha over to a bench. “That is good to hear." 

"That’s a good trick, with the flame, there. Very quick. I’m impressed.”

“It has proven useful,” said the monk. “It’s easy to get rid of your kind. The first lick of flame, the first hint of true danger, and you vanish, off to somewhere safe.” He eyed Gozha. “But you stayed. Why did you stay?”

"Had to give the little one time,” said Gozha carefully. Cracked ribs ground against his lungs. “I’d never met the big one before, but I know her type. She likes pain and she’s easy to provoke. Keep her talking, give her something to punch or kick, and she’ll take all the time in the world to do it.”

The monk regarded him for a long moment. “I see I was right to compare you to the Abbess.” He stood up. “I’ll make sure a room is prepared for you and a healer ready. The Abbess isn’t here today, but she’ll likely return soon. And by then, we’ll have mastered the proper techniques for imbuing your peppers with Regathan flame.”

Gozha grinned around the blood. “So you won’t refuse my request.”

“It is a ridiculous request.”

“And 'dramatically unsafe’, if I recall.”

“Which means the Abbess should enjoy it a great deal,” said the monk. “Goodnight, Gozha. Meditations begin at six bells tomorrow. I will see you then.”

“Goodnight… ” said Gozha, trailing off. He still didn’t know the monk’s name. Nor, for that matter, where Megumi went.

But he did a good thing today, and he was going to taste those delicious peppers soon. And that would have to be enough for now.

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

Jonesy/ Beav pleaseeeee & you already know what song I want 👀

Thank you!!! AND here it is!: ‘Last Worthless Evening’ by Don Henley!! 

(Send me a 🎧 with a number from 1-100 and i’ll write you a ficlet using my corresponding spotify wrapped song as a prompt. You can send any of my listed ships!!)

Time slowed at Jonsey’s place. It always felt as if he was slowly submerging himself in a hot bath whenever he spent time there and he’d never been good at relaxing. He much preferred the louder company of his good ol’ suburban neighborhood when he was right on the front-lines; movie-like comfy home and all. It was there that it never felt like he was the center of attention or like he didn’t fit in.

And out in the yard, green grass grew which would soon become his responsibility to trim. He could enjoy friendly greetings and interactions that allowed him to enjoy a limited small community while not overdoing it or being in total isolation, as this lonesome place felt. Derry was best experienced on a flourishing summer block filled with familial neighbors..it was a view that Jonesy’s sleepy and boring building could only dream about. Because Derry seemed much more horrifyingly lonely in that damn building...

Jonsey had spent many moments of his time there missing the company of someone who loved him. And then spent the following moments hating himself for creating a situation in which he had to experience losing that. He spent far too long thinking he could continue on with a situation that would only serve to slowly kill the both of them just for the sake of ‘playing house’. 

But the idea of losing Carla scared him to death. So he’d attempted to live the lie to keep her. Which only made it so much worse. 

The relationship hadn’t always been totally miserable but Jonsey credited that to the fact that it was just great to have a good friend living with you. Only, viewing your wife as just a good buddy and not someone you’re in love with...well, that was not a good sign. So ‘No, it hadn’t always been miserable. Yes, we did look happy, didn’t we?’ were things Jonsey had to speak to the likes of his old neighbors. It wasn’t miserable but it had been doomed from the start. 

It didn’t really tear him apart to have lost Carla, a little over a year now. It had torn him up to realize he could never be satisfied with her. 

The bar was smoky and full of people that Jonesy thought looked pretty chummy with each other. Derry didn’t have much in the case of fine dining or drinking but the familiar faces of your best friends older brother or the town dentist chugging mugs of good beer...that warmed your stomach. 

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Beaver sank his teeth into the wood of his toothpick and enjoyed the comedy stylings of George Pelsen who was truly a dive-bar champ. The greasy deck of cards the bunch of them used to decide who’d be paying for their draft Millers were dumped on the table and sprinkled with peanut shells. 

Kent and Sean were particularly enthralled with whatever bull-shit George was feeding them but Beaver was not too fond on that puff and blow. No, he was sorta searching for a different kind of blow tonight...

Only, as his eyes scanned the place, he found a familiar face which cascaded the most genuine sense of happiness and nerve-wrecking joy.

From behind the crunch of another peanut, Kent chuckled in that odd horse-laughter he had. Which didn’t bother Beav in the slightest, in fact it was one of the reasons he hung out with the dude. He enjoyed shit and laughed it out. “You got an eye for the red-head, Beaver?-”

“Lucky you’s. There’s actually some chicks in here who look up to no-good so you don’t have to make it to some dude.” Sean smiled and tapped a stack of cards against the edge of their table. 

The Beav rolled his lips and let himself smile, pulling out a fresh toothpick. “Oh yeah, huh?” He truly didn’t mind the dim-wits inability to comprehend that his bisexuality was not born out of convenience. Having to ‘make-it’ with guys only when good lookin’ girls weren’t near. No, his bisexuality was born with him...fresh from his mother and all covered in red goo. 

It just so happened that he realized what he identified with a little later. Laurie Sue had claimed to be a tad bit intimidated by what she called ‘Beav’s large playing-field’. Laurie had been a great gal but marriage didn’t work for either of them. 

How lucky, right? Baby-Green (Was that really a color, he wondered? There was a baby-blue & baby-pink?) invitations which read of a wedding for ‘Beaver & Laurie Sue’...didn’t scream everlasting love. 

Pelsen and Sean craned their necks and got a couple of chucks in there too. 

“It’s not like that right now, anyway. I just think I know that guy.” Beaver almost chuckled himself at the word ‘think’ because he definitely could call Jonsey from a mile away. He pitched a spare peanut into Kent’s mouth and shuffled out of his seat. 

Since the man got hooked up on his relationship with his wife, Jonsey pulled from their friendship. Not so much with Henry and Pete, who the guy still remained in constant contact with. Just Beaver. It was not something Beaver caused trouble about though it did sting a little because if there was a reason for it, he had no clue. Pete and Henry did their absolute best to make-up for the odd dynamic change. 

Beaver shoved the next tooth-pick between his teeth and pushed his chair in with his hip. “Don’t go crazy savin’ my seat. Might not be back for a while.” He wiggled his brows but the gang didn’t quite get it.

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:

“Jesus-Christ-bananas.” 

Jonsey turned around on the spinny bar-stool that he liked so much and faced one of the best damn friends he’d ever had. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Beaver tugged up a seat and sat upon it like a cowboy on a horse, legs spread and wiggling with excitement for the ride. It killed Jonsey when he realized that yes, in fact, it had been a while. Basically since things got kinda rocky with Carla...

“How have you been, man? Seriously? I can’t get much from the other idiots-” The Beav laughed. “And I mean...not that this ain’t good company-” He glanced around the dive and sighed.

Jonsey coughed and swallowed some more of his drink. “I’m ok, Beav.” He nodded and wondered how the hell he wasn’t supposed to just fall-apart in the Beav’s company? The man just radiated an energy so welcoming and warm that just came naturally to him. The Beav always felt like coming home...the opposite of Jonsey’s shitty apartment. 

“I don’t buy shit for a nickel, Jonsey.” Beaver’s voice turned soft and genuine, which was rare. “Breaking off...-you know, a relationship like that? It doesn’t heal easily. Laurie Sue and I were like three years ago but it...-I know it can be difficult.” 

Jonsey frowned. ‘Shit for a nickel’ he liked that one, was it new? Did it grow over their absence of company? 

“It doesn’t much look like you wanna be here. Trust me, I know that feeling. I walked around that block. Still walkin’ it.-” He gestured behind him at the table he’d risen from. “And it’s not quite the riot it would be if it was a Derry block. Nah, that shit is...lonesome town or something like that...you get the point.” Beaver giggled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He just looked soft. 

Jonsey chocked up a little and tried to conceal it. “I’m sorry, Beav. About us. I haven’t reached out to you in a long time. I feel like such an asshole-”

Beaver gave him the dopiest grin, like it truly was a wonder that Jonsey could ever think he was mad at him. It gave him a rush of that whimsy feeling. The kind especially reserved for The Beav. Maybe that had been part of the reason Jonsey had isolated him. 

“Shut-up, man-” ‘He hadn’t said a word’ “It was a shitty thing to do, admit it.” 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the reason.” Beaver rolled his toothpick to the other side of his mouth and it was then that a horribly amazing thought occurred to Jonsey. 

“I couldn’t ever love Carla. No matter how hard I tried.” He took another drink. “But..I think we were driving up to-yeah, yeah-” he nodded to himself, his memories suddenly coming out of a long since buried closet . He pushed his drink away and cleared his throat.

“-To Roberta’s to see or buddy, Duddits. And it was one of those days where the sky was that shade of blue that you adore. And you kept commenting on it, pointing and smiling like it was so important to you. Saying it was a sign that we’d have a great day and you were just so damn excited to see Duddits and Roberta. And I was laughing because it seemed kinda funny to me.” He squinted as the scene painfully played back in her head.

“But I realized just then that I wanted to be there to see every moment you were that happy. And I hoped more than anything in the world that I made you that happy...I just figured it was a self-conscious friendship thing.” Jonsey laughed. 

Beaver swallowed. 

“I broke it off with Carla because I’m gay, Beaver.” He nodded and felt some relief fall from his shoulders. “And maybe I pushed you away when things with Carla got serious because....” He waved his hand about and vaguely in Beaver’s direction. 

Beaver’s eyes widened. “Jesus-Christ-bananas. Derry has never needed anything more than a good chuck of genuine romance, Jonsey-” He slapped his hand to his chest. After a moment of exaggeration, Beaver looked down with some nerves of his own. “Would you like to talk through some shit this evening with someone who really fucking loves you?” 

Jonsey laughed, head going back. “Yeah. I’d love to.” 

[easyhairstylesbest]

The Nap Dress Must Be Stopped

Sleep has never been an especially easy task for me. Like many people, the unsoothing nature of the past year have made my attempts at a good night’s sleep acutely hellish. Lately, I do what I expect most of us do: jerk awake offensively early after spending hours clawing my way to sleep, spend a few minutes negotiating with my brain over its level of commitment to being awake before giving up, rolling over to pick up my phone, and blasting my retinas in the dark to see what what people on social media haves been up to. Recently, buying something called a “nap dress” is one thing many of them have been up to.

For months now, my social feeds have been dotted with declarations that someone else has “finally” ordered the Nap Dress, something I hadn’t heard of until New Yorker writer Rachel Syme wrote a piece about “The Nap Dress”, a line of dresses from Hill House Home. The dresses appear to be several styles of billowy prairie dresses propped up by the modern direct-to-consumer parlance that aims to establish an item as the only item of its kind. Their defining supremacy in the marketplace of other similar dresses aside, the nap-ability of these dresses seems to be more a matter of suggestion than function.

Even still, people I know and respect are pretty into buying and ostensibly sleeping in nap dresses. And good for them! I’m as keen on trying to fill my ever-expanding inner void with consumer goods as the next person. That said, the appeal of the Nap Dress eludes me, and not just because the style of dress they are has always been a little too cloying for me. As much as I would relish, as Syme puts it, “a childlike return to waking up bleary-eyed hours before dinner,” do I need to dress like an actual child in order to get that?

Most of my complaints are not aesthetic so much as functional. Not to be strident in the presence of adult children’s clothing, but please show me someone who regularly changes outfits before a nap. That smacks of a kind of carefree joy that doesn’t scream “daytime sleeper” to me. We all crave literally anything to break up the crushing monotony of our lives in quarantine, and I don’t mean to be all “I have a job and a kid and barely have time to collapse into 20-minutes to blurry, vibed out half-consciousness in my bed between meetings while listening for Slack chimes, let alone time to enrobe myself in a fresh, resplendent look for the occasion” but…that is indeed the case. I might have the same energy as the type of gaunt, melancholy-stricken Victorian wife who’s hidden from guests and floats around the manor grounds wearing what I imagine is the Nap Dress, but I lack her ample free time.

The appeal of the Nap Dress eludes me, and not just because the style of dress they are has always been a little too cloying.

Still, I can see the appeal. There are people who enjoy having a dedicated outfit for every discrete moment of their lives, and there are people (hello) who toil under an anxious fixation on their sleep or lack thereof. It’s rare enough for me to sleep more than four or five hours in one solid chunk that I’m earnestly surprised when I do. After especially rough nights, I routinely plan my entire day around a nap. Sleep occupies a considerably above average amount of psychic real estate for me. I’ve experimented endlessly with things that might help me sleep better, but the Nap Dress checks no boxes in this regard.

The sensory experience of being in the Nap Dress, which is devoid of meaningful support and structure, falls short of competitors like “old leggings” and “naked under a weighted blanket.” It’s light and spacious — who wants to feel untethered when they’re trying to calm down into a nap? Give me a feeling of being held together. This is not all that unusual: Most people’s bodies respond favorably to feeling pleasantly squeezed. Deep pressure stimulation (DPS) is a category of therapies that use firm but gentle squeezing, hugs, or holding to relax the nervous system. DPS is used — either with touch or products like weighted vests and blankets — in treatment of a wide range of things, but it all operates on the same principle: The nervous system is soothed by pressure. It operates on the same principle as tightly swaddling a fussy baby who’s in desperate need of a nap. It makes them feel calm on a core, neurological level. It chills them out and primes their bodies for sleep. That’s what I want to sleep in: something that tricks my nervous system into thinking it’s safely back in the womb.

While I don’t demand a full-body swaddling anymore, I do prefer to sleep in clothes that low-key carry the swaddling torch. The top part of Hill House’s Nap Dress has a flirty straight jacket vibe, which is spiritually heading in the right direction, but the bottom part is basically a napkin. Do not insult me by calling something nap attire when it has no ability to engage my parasympathetic nervous system! We’re exclusively taking stress naps in 2021 — anything called a “nap dress” needs to be equipped for the job, ideally meaning it’s filled with lead.

Do not insult me by calling something nap attire when it has no ability to engage my parasympathetic nervous system!

Of course, Hill House didn’t set out to create a medical device for improving sleep, so it’s not a fair standard to hold them to, and I’m not, but it does feel slightly ridiculous to see people snatching up a dress to sleep in despite it not being a particularly stylish dress (they’re fine!) nor uniquely good for sleep in any way. Anxiety can be a reason for needing a nap, not just boredom or malaise or a desire to be Kiera Knightly; The Stress Nap. If someone is buying a $100 cotton scrunchie to don for a midday snooze, I feel that chances are high that they are not, like, doing great. There are naps as a leisure activity and then there are naps that are more like necessary intervals of unconsciousness because of burnout, or perhaps desperately flinging oneself into slumber to escape everything on the surface. Not to get serious in whimsy’s house, but the preciousness of the Nap Dress paired with our recent collective decline in baseline mental health just bums me out.

Also, these dresses are just…nightgowns? My arguments against the Nap Dress are mostly predicated on my disinterest in feeling adrift in sleep attire when I would rather feel snuggly contained, but I have no judgment for people who wear and love nightgowns. Some of my best grandmothers wore nightgowns. I find their associations comforting, even if the experience of getting twisted up in their superfluous yards of fabric all night is not. But if that’s your bag, then my one hope is that you don’t dismiss all the other nightgowns of the world just because one of them happens to be called “The Nap Dress”. Play the field!

Next issue: The Nap Dress is incompatible with both hot and cold temperatures. They’re clearly meant for warm weather wear, but on a steamy summer afternoon of succumbing to the vapors or whatever, who wants to be trapped in a roasting bag, with your limbs left to their own swampy devices? I guess you could shove the fabric between your thighs, but then the dress part of the Nap Dress becomes a liability you have to work against — a bug, not a feature. Especially considering, again, the structural inefficiencies of the Nap Dress mean I would probably still need a weighted blanket if I wanted my randomly firing panic responses to subside enough for me to get in a nap at all.

I have no judgment for people who wear and love nightgowns. Some of my best grandmothers wore nightgowns.

This is where the Nap Dress loses me. I’m looking for more performance from nap clothing, which is an absurd thing to say, but arguably no more absurd than sliding on a whole-ass bodice before passing out on the couch surrounded by errant half-empty cans of seltzer. Times are distressing, and good sleep is scarce. Maybe that’s not true for everyone, but then, I assume those people don’t need a dedicated sleep outfit. It seems like those lucky people could sleep in anything, which is ultimately the point: any of us could sleep in anything. The little things we do to enliven the banality and temper the despair of our days are usually non-essential indulgences, chosen according to what delights us personally. When it comes to infusing your day with something special and useless, go with god, but also, I hate to see us all buy something that’s unremarkable compared to its countless peers just because of targeted Instagram ads and of-the-moment marketing. I don’t expect anything I wear to fully sedate me, but it should at least carry its weight. I don’t need a cottagecore hanky.

All that said, things are very bad, and we should give ourselves over to any dumb thing that dampens our malaise. No one is forcing me to buy one. If your exhaustion is abetted by drifting off after lunch in a wispy smock, then frankly, I envy your journey. Sleep tight.

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The Nap Dress Must Be Stopped

[sleepyskunk]

Deconstructing the 2017 Movie Trailer Mashup

Why deconstructing a mashup? Because these videos are often perceived as a random mess of pretty images from movie trailers. While that’s absolutely true, there’s an opportunity to explore themes and also pay a few obscure tributes to elements that don’t belong in the video itself but that are generally widespread within pop culture. These montages have been going on for a few years now, and it’s hard to edit the footage in a way that won’t feel reminiscent of one of the many great retrospectives put out by other talented editors in years past. I have to say that trying to build a narrative with all that footage has now become more enticing to me than to highlight the moments that made the year in cinema within their proper context. Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Someone on Reddit commented: “starting off with GEOSTORM, that’s a bold move!” and it didn’t even cross my mind. The shot was exactly where I wanted to go right off the bat - a blend of childlike wonder and eerie caution reminiscent of earlier Tim Burton films. The track was composed for a television spot called “A Wonderful Day” from IT and it showcases major Danny Elfman influences. Thus, this was my small tribute to the Burton/Elfman collabs happening under snowfalls like EDWARD SCISSORHANDS or BATMAN RETURNS. I loved the contrast in dialogue from PERSONAL SHOPPER which was such an under-appreciated indie film this year. Every mashup has its horror section, but I am gently sneaking you in by the supernatural door this time around. It’s just innocent enough to deceive those who hate horror.

Childlike wonder flawlessly captured in one shot, from the lens of Matt Reeves. I can’t say I connect emotionally with his APES movies, but the quality control on every frame, CGI or otherwise, it pretty much above and beyond all industry standards. That facial expression is exactly what I needed, you can tell she’s not too sure whether she’s safe or not but without feeling properly scared either. This is like the part in the original POLTERGEIST where kitchen chairs are moving on their own and the family still thinks it’s kind of fun. Kind of.

KING ARTHUR is the best type of release when it comes to trailer mashups because 1) it had a fantasy undertone 2) it was tracking poorly and 3) it went way over budget. Big studios know months in advance if they have a major bomb on their hands, and they have two choices at that point: either stop spending a penny on it and dump it for a quick theatre run and VOD release (more common if the movie didn’t cost that much) or, like in this case, spend extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad. Those extra millions go towards CGI money shots like the one above, which is really meant to make the marketing more attractive and oh dear lord, did KING ARTHUR have some last minute money shots to offer or what? It was a joy to pick and choose from its nine trailers.

This is where I put my cards on the table, whimsy never happened and I am taking you all to creepytown. That shot from ANNABELLE: CREATION is one of the many that upstages the featured evil doll in that wonderful movie and the film’s cinematographer Maxime Alexandre reached out because he was happy so much of his work was featured. You never know in front of who your videos can end up and industry people are keen on celebrating the year in film, especially if their own works are included. This is just a top notch unsettling shot clearly inspired by THE SHINING (the girl’s dress and the way her arms look lifeless.) On a side note, I always manually add all sounds including that floor cracking. If anyone reading this is starting off editing mashups, I promise you one thing: using professional, isolated, studio-recorded sound effect packages such as BOOM library is much superior to the original trailer track (unless you get a clean sound within the trailer.)

Another random insight (if you’re interested in making your own movie mashups) is to try as much as possible to avoid that one marketing shot everyone recognizes. You can revisit a memorable moment but going straight to the most oversold shot of a film hurts you. While you’re eager to make everyone relive the most epic imagery of the year, some value gets lost when a studio bombarded the same shot over and over and you go for it. Two quick examples: Giant hologram JOI pointing at Ryan Gosling in BLADE RUNNER 2049. I wanted that moment, but the original side-scroller shot was so overused that I went with her from a closer angle (see video thumbnail). Another example is that uncomfortable sniffle from Daniel Kaluuya in GET OUT which I favored over the super overplayed mouth open crying paralyzed shot from every marketing piece. In both cases, I assume you know which shots I am referring to without having to show them. Trying the alternative makes us relive the moment without its obviousness. It gives that other shot they didn’t choose its moment to shine (and more often than not, it’s just as effective.)

Someone’s not getting much sleep. A CURE FOR WELLNESS is a gorgeous-looking film no matter what you think of its bizarre plot points. I spend much of the first segment flirting with the creative key points from IT. One I tried to play around with is the idea of Pennywise as a half-real/half-fiction monster, and how similar to Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET his realm of terror extends. A few winning concepts in both films: 1) He isn’t real but he can really hurt you so you have to stay on your guard at all times and 2) Only a select few have been cursed with having to deal with him, adding a psychological layer to an already spooky premise. Dane Dehaan looks like a kid from Derry, or Elm street if you prefer, whose mental focus seems affected by the fact that he saw something, and his friend saw him too. Meanwhile, I throw in a completely out of context quote from Vanessa Redgrave which ties in that mysterious “sickness” from Verbinski’s film.

A shot from PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN from a trailer edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen Jr. for Annapurna Pictures where he works as an in-house editor now. In 2015, I talked about Gen Ip’s storytelling approach and last year I praised Matt Shapiro’s famously epic crescendos, so this year, let’s talk about Kees a little bit because I find all their influences fascinating. My first observation is how far his much-adored Cinema series has taken him, and that one of the top production houses in the business (if not the top, sorry A24 and Fox Searchlight) hired him so he could bring his own distinct style onto their major features. The whole trailer mashup craze started off only a few years back and so many editors were recruited right off YouTube to turn their passion into a livelihood down in Los Angeles. I can think of at least six editors whose names you’d recognize and who are now living the dream, and I consider this to be really inspiring because none of them initially got into it thinking something like that was ever possible. (side note: I also moved to L.A. and was poached by a trailer house but prefer to keep things on the low-end until it’s been long enough. I wouldn’t want to jinx it.)

The second observation about Kees is how much influence he’s had on every mashup that gets uploaded on a daily basis every December (me included) - I will link his Cinema series below. Instead of pairing clips into a horror bit, an action bit, a laughing and dancing bit, a kissing and crying bit, Kees was always out to create new feelings and nothing ever seemed more important than proper flow. Many shots would pop-up that you would never expect thematically, images of moving objects like a breaking glass transitioned with a girl’s hair waving through the wind (also see the lie detector in the previous shot.) He would connect nature documentaries right along with major superhero blockbusters and the movements flowed so perfectly that nothing ever felt out of place, quite the contrary. He was the best shot curator we’ve ever seen, and the order in which he put them together was beyond logic and predictability. Imagine “One Perfect Shot” but with 275 perfect shots back-to-back. If you want a prime example of what I’m referring to (random objects and flow), check out 2:49 - 2:52 from his Cinema 2011 (links below). Kees set the bar so high that attempting an end-of-year mashup certainly felt foolish at times, but hoping to improve made the editing process all the more inspiring.

CINEMA 2008 | CINEMA 2009 | CINEMA 2010 | CINEMA 2011 | CINEMA 2012 

So apparently, they have the internet and flat-screen TV’s in RINGS but landline phones are still a thing. Quite frankly, I haven’t seen RINGS and I bet it’s aggressively ordinary, but how retro horror is that shot? Paired up with the voice of THE SNOWMAN saying “Mister Policeman” it’s a throwback to Nancy being terrorized by Freddy in the original Nightmare of Elm Street (minus the tongue.) I was also pleased with the aesthetic of HAPPY DEATH DAY, clearly the product of horror fans who grew up during the low-budget slasher craze of the early ‘80s. It’s got MY BLOODY VALENTINE written all over it (meanwhile their poster was paying homage to APRIL FOOL’S DAY.) Retro horror, in all its disturbing practical gore glory! Rick Baker, Tom Savini, how much we missed you in our modern times where only a few major productions have enough VFX money to escape the uncanny valley (and even then... *cough* JUSTICE LEAGUE.)

I always tend to edit right on tempo, which means switching shots at the exact moment the music beat tells you to. But over here, I thought this elevator drop from FLATLINERS looked so frenetic and out of control that I started it half a second before as if the beat couldn’t keep up! Like in cartoons when the car accelerates so fast that it takes off but their eyeballs are standing still for a little fraction. This whole mashup sequence is meant to be a little cartoony and tongue-in-cheek. To anyone who found this to be disturbing (and yes, I heard from a few viewers who said it was too much) I must admit that it wasn’t my intention. I won’t apologize for my work, people choose to watch if they want to or not. But if I really tried my best to scare the crap out of you, I can assure you THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE wouldn’t have made the cut.

Now channeling a CHILD’S PLAY vibe thanks to this retro television shot from the highly underrated BRIGSBY BEAR. A kids program works well as an element of fear because it’s supposed to be a safely protected zone of positivity and care, just like a doll or a clown for that matter. Once that turns on its head and begins to attack, you basically have nowhere else to hide. It also makes for great contrast, and Andy Muschietti must have had an absolute blast this year incorporating this component into his remake of IT. The bear costume was one of the many shots that wasn’t from a horror movie and yet I used to great effect in this section. I know there was a new CHILD’S PLAY movie this year but sadly, it didn’t hold a candle to the Hitchcockian original.

“At the end of the day, people are out for themselves.” That’s not true, and only people who are out for themselves could believe that. Because if you’re weighing low on the morality scale at some point in life, you still wanna go to bed thinking you’re a good person. So if you can’t justify what you did, the best logical next step is to convince yourself that human nature is to blame, that everyone else would have done the same as you. Ask people who were charged with insider trading on the stock market, they’ll always say “everybody was doing it.” I could refer to a certain World War to keep hammering that point but instead, I’d like to point out the interesting contrast between this and Part 3. I try to disprove that very statement by showing in the finale that everything we do that matters is for others, and others are the only thing that matters once everything else has come and gone.

The KING ARTHUR studio spending extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad money shot festival continues. EPIC! In fact, that shot is so gorgeous, you could place it anywhere in any mashup ever and it would probably work.

Having a bit of fun giving a more literal visual cue to IT’s “We all float down here” with Guillermo Del Toro’s hypnotically beautiful THE SHAPE OF WATER. However, it’s not the tudum tssshh, get it? movie connection that works here. It’s the underwater sound effect and the incredible sound mixing by trailer house Buddha Jones so that Georgie’s voice seems to come from the bottom of the ocean. This is likely the best sound work you’ll hear in the entire mashup, and I didn’t mix it, the editors behind that teaser trailer did. In fact, their work was so effective at scaring people that it earned twice the amount of views on YouTube than what Avengers: Infinity War received. A fact Kevin Feige will likely never admit.

That moment when you realize your manic pixie dream girl wears white socks! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've used vulgarity in the past but not every year, depends whether it brings value. Some of you may remember “Game on, c***suckers” from KICK-ASS 2 in 2013 or “Nap time, motherf***ers” from COOTIES in 2015. Perhaps there’s another guilty pleasure at play here, however, which is that feeling of pure creative freedom. As mentioned earlier, not everyone digged the horror undertone of this year’s Part 1 and that’s okay because it went exactly where I wanted to go and no compromise was made. No client notes. No studio revisions. No censor beeper (which makes it worse because we seek to find out what the word was.) If you get into professional careers that are creative in nature, you’ll find that teamwork, compromise, and not taking anything personally are all essential components for success. But when the movie trailer mashup comes around, I report to no one. And that moment from THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING MISSOURI is one I wanted included as soon as the red band trailer came out.

This shot comes from a small movie you should seek out called MY NAME IS EMILY starring Evanna Lynch (aka Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies.) The film was directed by Simon Fitzmaurice who was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (ALS) a few years ago, the debilitating disease for which the viral ice-bucket challenge was based on. He wrote the screenplay for this movie while his body was entirely paralyzed, and the only way he could communicate with the cast and crew while shooting the film was through eye gaze technology. There was a documentary following his brave journey that played Sundance called IT’S NOT YET DARK. Check it out if you need some real work ethic motivation and want to feel truly inspired about overcoming challenges. Much better than THE DISASTER ARTIST which is a spoof about a millionaire with no talent who mistreated the people who worked on his film. Okay, it’s still very entertaining and James Franco is hilarious but I don’t get a ‘never give up’ vibe from it, more like ‘maybe this isn’t for you.’

With the second segment, I was going for a British Gangster film vibe, hence the music cue Main Offender by The Hives. No movie captured that feeling better than Ben Wheatley’s FREE FIRE this year. I find the criminals in British movies are equally as clever in their quips as they are dangerous and often have the appearance of fair, well-behaved citizens until they have a reason to go mad. Jon Hamm’s performance in BABY DRIVER was also a textbook definition of that archetype, because all the build-up scenes where he acts friendly and discusses music with the titular character only bring an element of surprise at the end of his arc (spoilers: he’s not that nice in the end) I am aware that BABY DRIVER takes place in America but it’s directed by a Brit so it counts!

If Kubrick only knew his famous jump cut from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY that connects a flying bone to a space shuttle would lead to this fifty years later. What a shit show jump cuts have become! But they’re fun, and let’s be honest here: 7 minutes of serious quotes about life would get a little heavy. The way you edit jump cuts is the same way to solve a puzzle with over a thousand pieces. Extract dozens of short action clips onto your timeline and try to make them fit with one another over and over until you’re entertained. I mean, the music stays the same in the background, all I am doing here is deciding which projectile this pair of underpants from CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS will become. The answer was a tranquilizer from the underground mall chase sequence in Bong Joon-ho’s excellent OKJA. Maybe we should try one really long domino of jump cuts one day. Should take forever to edit, but how much fun would it be?

Did you know that Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander was a professional ballet dancer before she started acting? Work ethic applies in everything you do. When you hear about successful actors, you often discover people who are world-class at delivering under pressure and dedicating themselves to their craft with an insane amount of work. Acting is hard and yet so many people think they can do it, which makes it even harder. At least ballet puts constraints right off the bat, you need flexibility and a specific body frame. Part 3 is about finding your passion AND putting in the work. Just finding your passion is hard! It’s not always the bottomless pit one could hope for, especially when it becomes a real job with hours upon hours of work. Many people don’t even know what their passion is, they know what they’re good at but don’t love it. “Without your passion, it’s very hard to find our place in the world.” I don’t think you need your income to come from your passion in order to find said place, but I wish everyone that many of the limited hours they have each day goes towards their passion, and not towards something that feels like a waste of time. Wanting to wake up has everything to do with what happens after your first cup of coffee. Put your time towards something meaningful to you, even if it’s only on evenings and week-ends and you’ll never make a penny from it. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you love to travel, just GO!

But what happens when your family conflicts with your passion? Would you leave them behind to pursue your dreams? We all remember the tragic scene from DEAD POETS SOCIETY where a young scholar gets forced by his father to become a doctor instead of his passion and commits suicide. And then we have this year’s COCO, Pixar’s big comeback, where music is prohibited in Miguel’s family but it’s all he dreams about. But that conundrum doesn’t even have to be confrontational in nature. What if you wanted to work in a low-paying field like online journalism because it’s what you love but your single parent (who always took care of you) became sick and needed you to take care of their treatment. What happens then? What comes first? I humbly try to answer that later in the segment, of course.

We always told you Daniel Radcliffe... you’re special. That’s why you have a scar on your forehead that looks like a bolt... Just kidding, poor guy. I look at Mark Hamill in THE LAST JEDI and keep thinking that if studios are still a private enterprise in 40 years, some new Harry Potter movie will come out in which an old bearded Radcliffe will be teaching at Hogwarts. (PS: he keeps making bold choices, so much so that I am willing to watch anything he’s in.)

A man’s reach... (or woman, btw) should exceed his/her grasp. Words from a poem by Robert Browning, suggesting that, to achieve anything worthwhile, a person should attempt even those things that may turn out to be impossible. The downside with attempting the impossible is two-fold, however. 1) You may spend your life trying and never succeed. 2) If you do get there after so much sacrifice and effort, the world will expect you to do it again, or to keep doing it at the same level or better. If you won a Gold medal at the last Olympics, what are the expectations for the upcoming Olympics? That’s where passions and dreams enter a darker road, one many people choose to avoid altogether. But whatever happens, it’s worth the risk as long as you have the one thing along the way that’s a hundred times more important. And that thing is...

...people who love each other! Look at this guy, he just figured it out!

Kate Mara in MEGAN LEAVEY really seems to be the one thinking out loud in this shot while we hear a quote from THEIR FINEST. I had a blast with the Freddy Krueger references earlier but this is my favorite part. Audiomachine make the best tracks to bring that crescendo to its proper peak. You can say this part of the mashup is more in my comfort zone. And the influences from Kees that I discussed earlier can be felt here. Some shots of objects and landscapes that aren’t thematically connected but keep a nice flow. I also handpicked the best cinematography of the year all at once here. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was a damn pretty movie, then SHAPE OF WATER, then THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS, then OKJA. Every shot looks like a million bucks. Notice the use of paper, letters and ink. I want to see you again, a character from EVERYTHING EVERYTHING writes on a sheet.

Family comes first is nice, but along with family comes conflict and distance at times. Things we said that we regret. Times we let each other down, or weren’t there when we needed to. All the papers dropping from the bridge, all the shots that refer to letter writing, that’s where I was going with that. Not always obvious because it moves so damn fast which is why I do this deconstruction blog post every year!

The final big lift from Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! Also, the first frame I added onto my AVID timeline. This is how I organize my work basically. I pick the right songs, then I identify the exact moments in that song where a big moment should happen - if you use trailer music, it will be crystal clear what those are. And then I try money shots in each of these spots over and over until one really, really fits. Then, I ask myself how did we get here, how can I get to that point? And build around these big moments. The second shot I added into the mashup was the little girl in Part 1 under the bed who points to another version of herself sleeping in her bed and says “Shhh! That’s not me.” I put that in right when the music stopped, it became a big moment, and then I built around it in order to get there. Every editor works differently, but I am just sharing how I personally prefer to do it. Back in 2012, the first clip I added onto the timeline was “I have an army. We have a Hulk.” from THE AVENGERS which means I’ve been editing this way for five straight years.

Those letters of reaching out to people you care about. Apologies or wondering how they’re doing. Flying everywhere around Winston Churchill (that’s my dog’s name, he’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi!) I guess you should always be the one to reach out in difficult situations with important people. The mistake is to not reach out, or convince yourself that they were dragging you down and you’re better off without them. That’s rarely the case, and you’ll never get over them when you know that’s not the case. Maybe they will reply someday, maybe they never will. But you swallowed your ego and you decided to give it one more shot. That’s the bravest thing we can do in this life, and I hope you’ll see it that way if the time comes. Happy New Year! Achieve your passions, take care of the ones you love and make it a wonderful day! (Halle Berry: “Aaaarrh!")

- Sleepy Skunk

[bforbookslut]

ARC Review: The Prophetess by Desy Smith

This book was provided to me by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the final edition.

I have given The Prophetess by Desy Smith a ☆ rating. It is Book 1 in The First Series series. It belongs to the New Adult Modern Fantasy genre with some Supernatural and Romance elements. Floebe Publishing publishes it. It was published August 2nd, 2017.

The blurb reads:

High up in the Heavens, righteousness faces off against the greatest dissenter of all time, and in the crossfire, an Angel loses his wings…

Fallen from Heaven and forced to live amongst the Humans, Ezekiel bares the tragic fate of a disgraced Angel. Having heard the rebellious Lucifer’s plan to rise up against the sanctuary of Heaven, Ezekiel remains silent; and for his inaction, he is exiled from the pearly gates and onto the unforgiving lands of the mortals. Two thousand years pass with a cold and hollow wind at his back, and for a moment, Ezekiel is resigned to his fate.

However, in the year 2016, the winds of fate begin to change, and redemption comes in the form of his brother, Gabriel, who bears great news. Ezekiel is given a chance to return to Heaven, but only once he has taken down Moloch, an evil Demon on the rise. If Ezekiel can stop Moloch from helping Lucifer return, he will be welcomed back into Heaven. However, there is more than just a Demon in his path, Ezekiel must uncover what else fate has in store for him, including a lovely, independent Prophetess, named Isabelle, and the endless possibility for joy and whimsy she offers. Can Ezekiel rise once more to the great destiny that awaits him? Or has he been amongst the fickle mortals far too long?

Disclaimer: This novel does contains a potty mouth female protagonist. If abrasive language offends you, this novel is not for you.

Add to Goodreads | Amazon

Verdict:

If I could sum The Prophetess up in one word: Awful. Full disclosure, I did not finish the book at Chapter 5, 28% in. I am incredibly upset with this book, the author and the publishing company. I got this on Netgalley and it was categorised Teens and YA. THIS IS NOT FUCKING YA. NOT. NOWHERE NEAR CLOSE. It’s New Adult. The MC is twenty-three and the Angel, god knows how old he is.

If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s self-published authors pretending like they’re from a legit publishing company because you expect a certain level of readiness and polish. Okay, it’s an arc. It won’t be perfect but The Prophetess reads like a very bad, very raw first draft.

One, the flow of events is incredibly messy. Two, there is little to no character development and the strange characterisation and extreme propensity for violence from Ezekiel.. Three, everyone is so fucking gorgeous that oh, we’re all dazzled by your greatness. Four is the cringey and forced sexual undertones of basically everything that occurs between Ezekiel and Isabelle. Five, there is so much sexism hidden behind a supposedly feminist lead character. Six, WHO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE? The blurb makes it seem as though it’s Ezekiel’s story. Seven, when the warning says potty mouth, they actually mean cussing twelve times within say, five pages. The sad part about all these negatives is that The Prophetess is actually very creative. It has a good plot and the worldbuilding isn’t bad. When they’re actually talking about the demons and the actual plot, it’s actually engaging. But there was no way I was putting up with any more of the nonsense to learn what happened in the end.

To break it down,

[may contain spoilers]

The Good:

1. The Prophetess has a solid plot. Only problem is it keeps detracting from it to focus on the romance between the two leads. It’s not an original plot but it was presented creatively and I particularly liked the worldbuilding behind it, especially about Angels and Lucifer and Ezekiel being cast from heaven.

The Bad:

1. There is so much sexism that I had to put this point first. Ezekiel claims that Isabelle is a ball-crushing badass feminist. But she isn’t. And neither is this book. Just because Isabelle is supposedly independent and takes none of your shit and cusses your ears bloody doesn’t mean she is a feminist or this book is feminist. It’s not. And that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve had to read.

1.1 Isabelle calls the women that Ezekiel have slept with and will hypothetically sleep with, “whores”. No feminist will ever call another woman a whore. And in the same breath, say that she deserves to wear whatever she wants, especially if she wants to look like a slut.

1.2 Speaking of which, Ezekiel doesn’t like that Isabelle wears revealing clothing and he calls her out for it, basically branding her a tramp. Ezekiel also expects to be obeyed as if Isabelle is a fucking dog and she should do whatever he asks. Not to mention, he also speaks of tying her up or spanking her as punishment. Now, there is no kink shaming. I’m down for a good BDSM romp. But, there was no set agreement or any indication that Ezekiel wanted to perform these kinds of acts on Isabelle nor any FUCKING CONSENT. So, it’s very creepy and disgusting on his part.

2. The writing didn’t flow well. One moment, Ezekiel is doing A and then, with no explanation whatsoever, he is suddenly doing B. Same goes for Isabelle and any other character mentioned in the book. In the parts that I did read, Ezekiel has an invitation/envelope of some sorts and that’s how the section ends. Suddenly, in the next section, he is all dressed up, and so is Isabelle and suddenly they’re heading to a Vampire party. There was no mention that they would go together or if they’d meet up somewhere, how to dress, what to do. It just. Happened.

3. Character development, progression and characterisation is zilch. I suppose the author wanted Ezekiel and Isabelle to be those cute bickering couples you know who will end up together because they’re so perfect for each other. Mission not accomplished. Half the time, their arguing and fighting just doesn’t make any sense. Ezekiel’s dislike towards Isabelle is not mentioned and Isabelle’s hostility towards him is because she doesn’t like anything to do with Angels. But is fine dealing with other supernatural creatures. Like, they just meet and they hate each other. The Enemies to friends/lovers trope is as common as they come but this is one instance where it didn’t work.

3.1 Also, I know nothing about Isabelle except that she is The Prophetess and apparently helps supernatural creatures, has a mom and a sister and likes to call Ezekiel fucktard is almost every sentence. Like hello please develop your character and make me care about her because idgaf about her whining and her problems.

3.2 Ezekiel is unnaturally violent which I don’t quite understand. Because Lucifer was supposed to be the violent one who killed all their fallen brothers and Ezekiel is the good guy. But there was just a lot of graphic punching and slicing Vampires in two and chopping their heads off that didn’t gel with that image. And it’s very, very confusing. Angel madness violence thing whatever Isabelle called it

4. Not to mention that EVERYONE and I mean, EVERY FUCKING ONE, in The Prophetess is so insanely gorgeous that they have paragraphs dedicated to their good looks (okay I’m exaggerating) but it’s just so cringey and unrealistic. Ezekiel literally has a WHOLE paragraph dedicated to describing how smoking hot his chocolate skin is, how sexy his blonde hair is, how ripped he is, you get my drift.

4.1 And Ezekiel cannot stop staring and ogling Isabelle. He stares at her all the time and keeps thinking about fucking her. Yuck.

5. I find it hard to believe that Isabelle and Ezekiel are supposed to be a thing because there is absolutely no sexual tension or chemistry between them. He pushes her up against walls and she grinds her knee into his dick what. It’s just not believable and it really ruins the flow of the story just to have these two have the hots for each other. Which they don’t.

6. The blurb made it seem as though Ezekiel were the main character. And this is Ezekiel’s struggles and shit. But Isabelle seems to be the driving force of the story, not Ezekiel even if the book opened that way. And again, the confusion because what is this book about? Is it about Ezekiel trying to find redemption and saving the world from the demon with the help of a prophetess who might be a potential romantic partner or is this about Ezekiel and Isabelle fucking?

7. The book came with a warning about the potty mouth female protagonist. Now, I’m all down for a potty mouth because who doesn’t? Literally, my blog is based on my love for cussing. But when you’re cussing 12 times in about 5 pages? Something’s definitely wrong. It was bothering me so much that I had to start counting them because I wanted to see how saturated with cuss words this book was. It was cussing for no reason. Just for the fun of saying asshole, turd, shit, fuck, fucktard you name it. Plus, fucktard is such an outdated cuss word, come on get with the times. I used to write like this. I got my ass chewed out for it because it’s just bad writing.

Conclusion:

I could name a lot more but I don’t want to dwell on it any more. The Prophetess is a badly written first draft that needs to go through more editors and proof readers before it is ready for the market. It had a lot of potential that went to waste. I hope that this would be different in the final edition because I received a copy of this ARC late and was only able to review it now. But judging by the lack of reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, I don’t know how far this book will reach.

[buffster]

Passion (BTVS 2.17)

This is part of my ongoing Buffy Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the show. You can find the full list here. Gifs are not mine.

Angelus: Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping. Waiting. And although unwanted, unbidden...it will stir. Open it’s jaws and howl. 

Passion was a joy to watch not simply from an entertainment standpoint but an analytical one as well. The episode spends a lot of time on Angelus and the line between him and Angel begins to blur. Just as Angel did, Angelus watches from the shadows unnoticed by Buffy or her friends. Her lurks at the Bronze just as he did before (did he stalk her constantly and just announce himself at opportune moments?) and is standing not three feet from Buffy sucking a girl dry as she walks past, oblivious. 

Angelus: It speaks to us. Guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?

He lurks in her bedroom and draws a picture of her sleeping to lay on her pillow. It begs the question: had Angel done this would Buffy have found it romantic? It has apparently only just occurred to the gang that Angelus has an all access pass to their homes and school. Cordelia is concerned she invited him into her car. Apparently no one bothers explaining to her this isn’t a thing because she later says she convinced her grandmother to switch cars with her. 

Xander: Yep, you’re doomed to having to give him and his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas.

One of my favorite things about Buffy is it’s willingness to make fun of itself. It does so this episode when Jonathan Levinson and an unnamed student walk into the library looking for books.

Xander: Does this look like a Barnes and Noble?

Giles directs them to the books and the entire gang watches in disbelief. They leave and Cordelia asks, not unreasonably, why Angelus doesn’t just slit Buffy’s throat. Giles says that he is just trying to provoke her and that she needs to ignore him. His dedication to procedure will see him punished this episode as he fails to take Angelus’ threat seriously. 

Giles: As the slayer you don’t have the luxury of being a slave to your passions. 

Both Xander and Buffy dumb down Giles’ long-winded explanations, but as pointed out by Xander only he is given the withering looks and snotty attitude. I’ve noticed that, for now at least, Giles seems to like Xander less than the other Scoobies. It’s unclear why that is, but my theory is that he sees him as a liability. Willow offers technical and research support. Buffy is the slayer. Xander gets the doughnuts. 

Willow is Angelus’ next victim. He strings up her fish and leaves them in an envelope. Buffy tells her that when things like this happen she still wants to run to Angel, but he’s gone. Willow tells her that one thing has not changed: she is still all he thinks about. 

Joyce is next. He leaves a picture of her for Buffy and then confronts her outside their house. He tells Joyce that he slept with her daughter. Right afterwards Willow performs the ritual to lock him out of the house.

There were quite a few insights into Joyce this episode. She asks Buffy what’s wrong and says, “I’ve read all the parenting books. You cannot surprise me.” Joyce feels the need to appear to be parenting well, but she clearly struggles to follow any of the advice laid out for her. She has little backbone and also isn’t even sure she wants to know what her daughter gets up to. Joyce also struggles to let Buffy talk and assumes she knows exactly what’s going on at all times. I could sympathize with her in this situation simply because Angelus doesn’t act at all stable when he speaks to Joyce. It would be hard to imagine how you’d fall for this guy’s tricks. She is also upset because she slept with a boy Joyce didn’t even know she was dating, clearly illustrating how out of the loop her mother is. But Joyce doesn’t exactly encourage things to be different.

Joyce: Buffy, you can shut me out of your life--I am pretty much used to that. But don’t ever expect me to stop caring about you because it’s never gonna happen. I love you more than anything in the world.

Giles and Jenny begin to speak again. Giles admits he felt betrayed and Jenny admits she fell in love with him. He wants her to make things right with Buffy but can’t deny he misses her. They plan to get together that evening, but first she wants to nail down the spell used to grant Angel a soul.

Back at the factory Spike is refusing to eat. He hates feeling helpless and childlike, especially with Angelus taunting all that Dru does for him. Drusilla seems thrilled to be fought over until she has a vision about Jenny’s plans. Drusilla is a serious danger and would have thwarted many a Scooby victory had she stuck around.

Just as Jenny figures out the spell translation Angelus appears. He says that he is able to get in because the sign outside reads Enter all ye who seek knowledge. Even watching this over and over again you can’t help but root for Jenny as Angelus chases her. And then you see the big window and think nooooo as he snaps her neck.

I noticed at the beginning of the episode Jenny told her students she wanted a paper and disc copy of their work. It foreshadows her leaving behind a disc copy. I also liked how Jenny had a lasting legacy on the show with this final piece of work.

Giles walks into his apartment to music, roses, and candles. Had Giles paid more attention to Buffy’s worry over Angelus he would have recognized the paper immediately (reading ‘Upstairs’). He finds Jenny’s body where he is expecting to find her ready for a romantic evening. This was an important episode to understand the cruelty of Angelus and how different he is from other vampires. The way he gets off on other people’s pain speaks to a deep sense of rage...but I’ll muse on that later. Giles stands frozen as the police arrive. When they ask him to come with him he says, “Of course. Yes. Procedure...” 

Angelus: Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief.

Angelus watches from the window as Buffy gets the call from Giles. She hands the phone to Willow and drops to the floor. Willow is the one to be comforted by Joyce as she begins sobbing. They go to Giles’ apartment and survey the scene. Angel has sketched Jenny’s face in death. 

Buffy: Giles didn’t set this up. Angel did. This is the wrapping for the gift.

They surmise that Giles intends to kill Angel.

Xander: Well it’s about time somebody did. Well, I’m sorry but I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying I told you so long before now. If Giles wants to go after the fiend that killed his girlfriend...

Buffy: You’re right. There’s only one problem with Giles’ little revenge plan.

Xander: And what’s that?

Buffy: It’s gonna get him killed.

Xander’s being an insensitive ass here, yes. Honestly I think he views caring for a vampire the way we view keeping a wild tiger for a pet. How surprised and sorry do you really want us to be when it turns around and bites you? That’s what tigers do. He never quite understands the grey area of morality. He’d be a terrible fit for Angel the Series, which deals in it a lot more. I don’t think he’s trying to be a jerk. To him stay away from vampires is just what’s right and makes sense.

Back at the factory Spike is angry with Angelus for playing games. Buffy finds them and attacks Angelus before he can kill Giles but lets him get away to save her Watcher. Afterwards, Buffy punches Giles and says he can’t leave her to do this alone. They hug each other and sob.

Angelus: It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we would know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead.

The events have moved Giles out of his comfort zone as the cool and removed Watcher. He admits he’s buried many people but Jenny was the first he loved. He now understands what it means to be personally involved. Buffy feels responsible because she wasn’t able to bring herself to kill Angelus when she had the chance. 

Buffy: Angel is gone. Nothing is ever gonna bring him back. 

She’s ready.

Character Notes:

Willow Rosenberg: Willow panics when offered the chance to teach the computer class. She’s excited but full of self-doubt. She spends five hours planning lessons for a few minutes of teaching time. 

Angelus: Giles says that “since Angel lost his soul he’s regained his sense of whimsy”. 

Buffy Summers: Buffy is still unhappy with Jenny but tells her to talk to Giles because she doesn’t want anybody to be lonely. One of the things that makes Buffy a hero is her ability to turn her inner pain into compassion.

[haroldgross]

New Post has been published on Harold Gross: The 5a.m. Critic

New Post has been published on http://literaryends.com/hgblog/oscar-nominees-2020/

Oscar Nominees 2020

Well, here we are again. I didn’t try to write up my guesses for the nominees this year, though they’re pretty much aligned with what came in, because they were too early.

This year, even more than last, is going to be one heck of a battle (lack of diversity aside because that’s an entirely different discussion). Not just because of all the great productions and performances, but because this is likely going to be the inflection point for streamers vs. establishment in Hollywood. Either the final votes will snub the streamers and risk becoming irrelevant and pissing off a number of creatives, or they’ll accept the new normal and change the landscape forever. Given that Netflix leads the pack of studios with 24 nominations total, it isn’t out of the question that platform, as a decision maker, may actually have faded since the Roma controversy of last year.

The other two surprises for me were the complete snubbing of The Farewell and Joker garnering the most noms of the season. Farewell not getting a shot at anything is near criminal. It was one of the best films of the past year. But so was Joker, and I honestly thought the Academy voters would eschew it in large part. So, I was wildly wrong on both counts… which just intrigues me more.

So with a few awards already out there, I’m going to risk my early predictions before making a final call the night before the awards early next month. I imagine my insight(?) will shift as more awards are announced and sentiment clarifies over the next few weeks, but it’s never stopped me before…

Actress in a Leading Role

Cynthia Erivo (Harriet) Scarlett Johansson (Marriage Story) Siorse Ronan (Little Women) Charlize Theron (Bombshell) Renee Zellwegger (Judy)

This is a great list, and every one of these women deserve recognition. But Zellwegger really stands out in her transformation and subtlety of performance. And, let’s face it, Judy Garland is beloved by the industry, which gives her a leg up.

Actor in a Leading Role

Antonio Banderas (Pain and Glory) Leonardo DiCaprio (Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood) Adam Driver (Marriage Story) Joaquin Phoenix (Joker) Jonathan Pryce (The Two Popes)

There are a number of great performances here as well, but I think Joaquin Phoenix really out-classed all these other men. His performance is the most complex and, ultimately, the most affecting.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Kathy Bates (Richard Jewell) Laura Dern (Marriage Story) Scarlett Johannson (Jojo Rabbit) Florence Pugh (Little Women) Margot Robbie (Bombshell)

This is a really tough field to choose from. Each performance in the list is strong for a different reason. Given Dern’s previous wins for the role, she probably has the edge. Johannson is going to have her votes split and Pugh and Robbie each have great moments, but aren’t quite as impactful as Dern in their roles.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Tom Hanks (A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood) Anthony Hopkins (The Two Popes) Al Pacino (The Irishman) Joe Pesci (The Irishman) Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood)

A similarly difficult field to choose from. I think Hanks, as good as he was, is simply going to get overlooked, and the dueling Irishmen will cancel eachother out, allowing Pitt to float to the top. In this field, were I to choose, however, I’d give it to Pesci for his quiet and subtle performance that overshadows the entire movie.

Adapted Screenplay

The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women The Two Popes

The selection of a winner here will depend heavily on what the voters are looking for in a script. The most creative is, hands-down, Jojo Rabbit. But Joker is an unexpectedly powerful tale of mental illness and a society gone wrong. Irishman is a quiet epic that is really just a small tale of family in the most beautiful of ways. And Little Women and Two Popes took source material and broadened it into a more encompassing philosophy and message.

But since only one can win, I’m thinking Irishman or Joker, with odds on Irishman.

Original Screenplay

Knives Out Marriage Story 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Parasite

Man, I just want to scream “stop making me pick!” The only one that doesn’t belong here is Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, which was a lousy script. I’m sorry, I know I’m in the minority, but I hated the script. In any event, it doesn really hold a candle to the rest of these.

Honestly, on merits, I think it’s between Marriage Story and Parasite. And since Marriage Story is unlikely to get more than Best Supporting, I’m thinking it will pick up the statuette here…also because it manages to do the seemingly impossible: making divorce feel positive.

Directing

Martin Scorsese (The Irishman) Todd Phillips (Joker) Sam Mendes (1917) Quentin Tarantino (Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood) Bong Joon-ho (Parasite)

Unsurprisingly, these are all part of the Best Picture pool as well, and with many of the same challenges. For sheer, unexpected craft, my choice would be Joker or Parasite. For audacity of vision and production, 1917. For journeymanship and career best: The Irishman.

But as to who will win? I’m going to go out on a limb and take a lesson from Gravity’s win a few years back and call it for 1917, simply for the incredible delivery of an audacious vision.

Best Picture

Ford V Ferrari The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Parasite

With the exception of front-runner Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood and the snubbing of The Farewell, this is a legit list for the year. Given these selections, I’m hard-pressed to pick just one (and expect that much vote-splitting is going to really randomize the winner).

For now, I expect Once Upon a Time to win. It is such insider-baseball and has a groundswell, where many of the others are more divisive and likely to siphon votes from one another.

If it were solely up to me, I’d probably go with The Irishman. It is such a subtle epic and beautifully crafted all around. But honestly, so was Joker. I just don’t see Joker taking this top prize with this voting block. The real question is whether the Academy can get past Netflix-hate to award this top prize to a streamer?

International Feature

Corpus Christi Honeyland Les Miserables Pain And Glory Parasite

Gotta be Parasite, despite all the other excellent entries.

Original Song

“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away” – Toy Story 4 “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” – Rocketman “I’m Standing With You” – Breakthrough “Into the Uknown” – Frozen 2 “Stand Up” – Harriet

I’ve always found this category somewhat pointless. It is rarely about more than popularity. And while that may be something worth rewarding, many songs are simply in the credits or as incidental music…there isn’t much consistency in how they interact with the film. This year, none of the songs really broke out in any particular way (again, let me express joy at not being subjected to Let it Go v2). Being forced to select, I’m going to go with Harriet, if for no other reasons than the lack of diversity elsewhere and Eviro’s cred.

Original Score

Joker (Hildur Guonadottir) Little Women (Alexandre Desplat) Marriage Story (Randy Newman) 1917 (Thomas Newman) Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (John Williams)

Going with Joker for this one. My experience was best enhanced by the score for that movie. It wouldn’t surprise me if Star Wars takes it since it set a record 52nd nomination for John Williams. He’s only won 5 of those and only Walt Disney (the man) has ever had more at 59. Though, also props for the dual Newman brothers noms… going to make the next holiday meal entertaining, I’m sure…

Documentary Feature

American Factory The Cave The Edge of Democracy For Sama Honeyland

While Honeyland is a good contender, American Factory with the Obamas behind it may ride a political wave to the front of the race. But I haven’t seen any of these yet to make an educated guess.

Documentary Short Subject

In The Absence Learning To Skateboard Life Overtakes Me St Louis Superman Walk, Run, Cha-Cha

Still waiting to see these.

Live Action Short Film

Brotherhood Nefta Football Club The Neighbors’ Window Saria A Sister

Still waiting to see these.

Animated Feature Film

How To Train Your Dragon I Lost My Body Klaus Missing Link Toy Story 4

For the sheer hubris of the story, I’d love to see I Lost My Body win, but it’s gonna be Toy Story 4. That series really went out on a high and the craft of it is solid. Missing Link just didn’t really work well for me, as much as I’ve loved the previous Laika offerings, and How To Train Your Dragon was sweet and pretty, but not exactly brilliant. Klaus, well, whatever.

Animated Short Film

Dcera (Daughter) Hair Love Kitbull Memorable Sister

Cinematography

The Irishman Joker The Lighthouse 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

Until recently, I would have selected differently, but 1917 is a Cinematographer’s dream/nightmare, and its successful delivery sets a new bar for movies. All the nominees have things going for them, but none were as challenged.

Film Editing

Ford V Ferrari The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Parasite

How 1917 was subbed here, I don’t know. But, given it isn’t in attendance, my best guess is going to be Ford v Ferrari due to the Le Mans scenes.

Production Design

The Irishman Jojo Rabbit 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Parasite

Such a hodgepodge of eras and approaches makes this a grab-bag. Irishman and 1917 are both perfect incarnations of their eras, making the production design invisible. Sorta true for Once Upon a Time as well, but I just don’t think it has the same creativity. Jojo and Parasite each have a sense of whimsy and reality that mixes in unexpected ways. Because of the latter two’s impact on the story itself, rather than just facilitating the tales, I think it goes to one of them, and if I had to guess (which I do), I’m going with Jojo Rabbit.

Costume Design

The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

Almost always this goes to a period piece, despite any of the other relative values of the productions. Since 1917 isn’t in the mix, I’m betting on Little Women.

Visual Effects

Avengers: Endgame The Irishman The Lion King 1917 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

This is another tough one. Tougher than usual as several of these films are in it for pushing the envelope in different ways. I’m ignoring Avengers and Star Wars as possibilities as they are big and flashy, but not really new. Lion King found a new way to film that is astounding (however weak the film itself was). Irishman did magic with aging and de-aging. 1917 recreated and presented WWI in a way never achieved before. I think for the invisibleness of it, The Irishman may take this one.

Makeup and Hairstyling

Bombshell Joker Judy Maleficent: Mistress of Evil 1917

Thinking Bombshell or Judy for this. I’m leaning Bombshell because of the transformations the makeup provided. Zellweger already looked like Judy, but Theron was subtly metamorphosed into her character with invisible prosthetics and makeup.

Sound Mixing

Ad Astra Ford V Ferrari Joker 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

I think both this and Sound Editing are up for grabs between Ford v Ferrari and 1917. If the latter gets a groundswell, it may well sweep the two.

Sound Editing

Ford V Ferrari Joker 1917 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

I think both this and Sound Mixing are up for grabs between Ford v Ferrari and 1917. If the latter gets a groundswell, it may well sweep the two.

NOMINATIONS BY FILM

Provided just for reference, but certainly interesting to consider when considering who has the attention of the voters.

Joker (Warner Bros.) – 11 The Irishman (Netflix) – 10 1917 (Universal/Amblin Partners) – 10 Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood (Sony Pictures Releasing) – 10 Jojo Rabbit (Fox Searchlight) – 6 Little Women (Sony Pictures Releasing) – 6 Marriage Story (Netflix) – 6 Parasite (Neon) – 6 Ford v Ferrari (Disney) – 4 Bombshell (Lionsgate) – 3 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Disney) – 3 The Two Popes (Netflix) – 3 Harriet (Focus Features) – 2 Honeyland (Neon) 2 Judy (LD Entertainment and Roadside Attractions) – 2 Pain and Glory (Sony Pictures Classics) – 2 Toy Story 4 (Disney) – 2

[carriejonesbooks]

When I was a kid at Bates College, I spent a lot of my time feeling like less. My family had been kind of poor after my step-father died. My nana would stand in line to get us big orange blocks of commodity cheese for the week to supplement our $30 grocery budget Every  week my mom would yell at her that we didn’t need that. She always took it.

My mom didn’t answer the phone because she was so afraid of credit card companies calling.  She’d make me do it and lie that she wasn’t there.

I still hate answering the phone, even the cell phone, even when it has caller ID.

Anyway, when I went to college I wanted to forget all that. I wanted to be an intellectual like everyone else. I wanted to have gone to private school in Manhattan or Conneticut, have a summer home in the Hamptons and clothes that weren’t from K-Mart, which was sort of the WalMart equivalent back then, but worse.

I got over all that because I knew it was pretty shallow. What I had a harder time getting over was class issues that had less to do with materialism and more to do with hatred and intellectual history.

In one of my directing classes, one of the sexier straight guys actually announced about Beckett, “People who are not wealthy don’t care about this. A truck driver doesn’t watch public television or listen to NPR. They don’t care, they’re too busy humping and eating and drinking.”

My dad was a truck driver. He watched public television. He listened to NPR. I didn’t want to think about him humping. He ate food. He didn’t drink. His parents had been prohibitionists.

In one of my playwrighting classes the professor announced, “The working people of this country don’t give a shit about nuclear power. They don’t give a shit about a man of color.”

When I was in elementary school my dad would bring him with him to protest the same nuclear power plant that my step dad was helping to build. He helped me try to get New Hampshire to recognize Martin Luther King Day and do a hundred other civil rights things. He cared.

And one of my college friends would love to say, “Carrie is too poor to be pro intellectual.”

He’s a minister now. That still doesn’t make what he said right.

And one of my female poetry teachers told me over and over again, her voice trilling up with her patrician accent, “Carrie, you have the potential to be a poet, but your voice is too raw, not refined, not artistic enough.”

My voice was poor. My cadence was public school. I was not from rich. Every sentence I spoke showed that.

They still do.

Those are just four of the incidents that made me both angry and intimidated and focused, but in the back of my head it just inflamed my self doubt. I could never be a poet because I wasn’t wealthy, private-school educated, my parents weren’t intellectuals. I could never move people with words because my words were too stark and my sentences too short. I would never fit in because I didn’t have the background that most of the other students had.

And then two things happened. I read Sherman Alexie, a not-wealthy Spokane and Coeur d’Alene who despite his issues with women, impacted me positively. Maybe because I never met him.

And I met Seamus Heaney in real life.

Seamus Heaney came to our college at the invitation of Robert Farnsworth, who was an awesome poet and professor. He met with students, he gave a reading and we all got to hang out with him at a reception.

“I can’t go,” I told my boyfriend at the time.

He bit into his pizza. He was always eating pizza. “Why not?”

“Because it’s Seamus Heaney,” I answered staring at the little bits of sausage on the pizza before I plucked them off.

“So?”

“Seamus Heaney!”

“So?”

I didn’t know how to explain. Seamus Heaney was THE poet, the Nobel Prize winner. He was Irish for God’s sake. Those people were gifted with words. They had so many amazing poets… Heaney, Yeats, Wilde, Clarke, Moore. I was from New Hampshire. We had Robert Frost but pretty much every New England state tried to claim him.

Heaney wrote things like:

“A hunger-striker’s father

stands in the graveyard dumb.

The police widow in veils

faints at the funeral home.

History says, Don’t hope

on this side of the grave.

But then, once in a lifetime

the longed for tidal wave

of justice can rise up,

and hope and history rhyme.”

You will regret it if you don’t go,” my boyfriend said. “I’m going to just be playing Leisure Suit Larry anyway.”

So, I went, as anxious as if I was going on stage myself. Heaney transfixed me with his amazing baritone and bear-like presence. And his words… Of course his words… And when I met him afterwards, I was terrified until he grabbed my hand in his and said, “So you are a poet?”

And I said, “No.”

And all he did was nod and say, “Oh, yes you are.”

But in his eyes was this knowing, this connection, and maybe it wasn’t really there. Maybe I just saw it because I wanted him to understand me, because I wanted someone to get who I was and who I wanted to be. Or maybe not?

I don’t know, but one second later my professor said, “Oh, yes she is. I told you about her. She is like you.”

And then one of them said something about growing up not wealthy and I can’t remember the exact words, but what I do remember is that I finally felt understood. Later, I looked up Seamus Heaney’s past, about how his dad was a farmer and neither of his parents were big on words really, not in the intellectual way that everyone in college seemed to be. I found out that he was like me a little bit not because he was a poet and I was trying so desperately hard to write just one decent poem, but because we were both human, that we both came from humble places, that we both looked in people’s eyes when we said hello.

And that was enough for me. That was enough for me to believe in myself.

Seamus Heaney performed a miracle when I met him. He made me believe that I could be whatever the hell I wanted to be and that it didn’t matter how hard I had to fight or work or not fit in. What mattered was that I wanted the miracle of being a writer, of metamorphosis from Carrie the poor neurotic kid from Bedford, New Hampshire into Carrie Jones, the neurotic best-selling author who lives on the coast of Maine.

He gave hope and miracles in his poems and in his person and I am so thankful for his existence and so sorry for the world’s loss.

“The main thing is to write

for the joy of it. Cultivate a work-lust

that imagines its haven like your hands at night

dreaming the sun in the sunspot of a breast.

You are fasted now, light-headed, dangerous.

Take off from here. And don’t be so earnest.”

  I wrote this post back in 2013 when Seamus Heaney died, but in one of my student packet’s this week, I referenced Heaney and then yesterday I saw this Liam Neeson video (randomly) where he was talking about Heaney, so… there you go. I’ve reposted it.

Here’s Seamus Heaney reading his own poem, “Blackberry Picking.”

  Do Good Wednesday

Scary, right?

People are fixing it.

You can help with poetry and kids. These images are from Get Lit’s website and Get Lit is making a difference.

“Get Lit was founded in 2006 after Diane Luby Lane created a one-woman show about the power of words and toured colleges with iconic Chicano poet Jimmy Santiago Baca. After the show closed, she couldn’t bear the thought of cutting off the work completely. She started teaching classic and spoken word poetry in two high schools, Fairfax and Walt Whitman. When the semester ended… the students wouldn’t leave. They insisted on meeting after school. The rest is history. Today, the curriculum has expanded to almost 100 schools, and the Get Lit Players are the most watched poets on the internet. Curriculum requests flow in from Mexico to New Zealand.”

Get Lit “uses poetry to increase literacy, empower youth, and inspire communities.”

Get Lit works – 98% of Get Lit Players go to college, and 70% get scholarships!

Here are Get Lit’s specific needs and how you can get involved.

  Writing News

Carrie’s  super excited about the upcoming TIME STOPPERS book coming out this August.

This middle grade fantasy series happens in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine and it’s all about friendship and magic and kids saving their magical town.

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

  “Sticks the landing . . . The world building is engaging . . . between the decidedly wonderful residents and the terrifying monsters who plague them.” –  BCCB

  “Amid the magic, spells, adventure, and weirdness of this fantasy are embedded not-so-subtle life lessons about kindness, friendship, and cooperation.” –  Booklist

  “A wild and fresh take on fantasy with an intriguing cast of characters. Dangerous and scary and fun all rolled into one. In the words of Eva the dwarf, I freaking loved it!” –  Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of The Unwanteds series

  “Effervescent, funny, and genuine.” –  Kirkus Reviews

It’s quirky. It’s awesome. It’s full of heart. You should go by the first two books now. 🙂

  Time Stoppers

Time Stopper Series

Time Stoppers Front and Back Covers – US versions

CARRIE’S BOOKS

For a complete round-up of Carrie’s 16-or-so books, check out her website. And if you like us, or our podcast, or just want to support a writer, please buy one of those books, or leave a review on a site like Amazon. Those reviews help. It’s all some weird marketing algorhthym from hell, basically.

OUR PODCAST

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips.

We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can.

Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

Love

The Poet Who Saw Me – Wednesday Writing Wisdom When I was a kid at Bates College, I spent a lot of my time feeling like less.

[beths-escape-from-reality]

Hey Guys!

Today I am going to be talking about my favourite reads from last year. I made this post last January about my favourites from 2016 and I love that post. I love going back and looking over it and seeing what I thought about a book when it was still fresh to me and it really makes me remember some books that I had kind of forgotten how much I love. So I have decided to make it a yearly post. 2017 was an amazing reading year for me. I read over 100 books and over 30 of those were 5 star reads. There were very few books that I read last year that I rated 3 stars or lower. I loved so much of what I read. this means that narrowing this list down was quite hard, but I eventually did it. most of these aren’t in an order of preference, except number 1. That was my favourite read last year and is one of my all-time favourites now. Also, I cheated slightly and included full trilogies and series as one, not multiple. But, this is the longest intro ever, so let’s get to the actual post.

Shades Of Magic by V E Schwab

This is one of my all-time favourite trilogies. This multi-verse trilogy puts a whole new spin on the magical universe. It is fast paced and dark, sexy and funny, and full of incredible characters. You follow a magician called Kell as he finds himself on a deadly adventure with an unlikely ally in the form of a young cut-throat called Lila. You cannot help but love this trilogy. It keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. This is one of the best magic based stories that I have read in a long time.

A Court Of Thorns And Roses Trilogy by Sarah J Maas

This (admittedly loose) Beauty And The Beast retelling is one of my favourite books that I have read this year. It is fast paced, action filled and so interesting. I couldn’t put it down. In this story you watch teenager Feyre trade her freedom for the lives of her family. Forced to leave her human life behind her, she is taken to Prythian, the fairy world. While there she discovers the secrets of the world, makes friends and slowly falls in love. This is a brilliant story. It is so gripping; I couldn’t put it down. (and that is just the first book!). If you haven’t read this series yet, you need to.

Heroes Of Olympus by Rick Riordan

I know that I have mentioned this series in a previous reads post, but it needs to be in this one as well. This series is amazing. It follows on from the original Percy Jackson books but has a whole host of new characters and a completely new storyline. I would go as far as to say it is better than the original series. It is darker and more complex. The story follows the group as they battle their way across the world trying to unite their friends and prevent the goddess Gia from waking and destroying the world. This series is absolutely incredible; you will want to marathon the books. It is the perfect series to escape into.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber

This book is essentially the YA equivalent of The Night Circus. It is beautiful, magical, imaginative and quiet dark. The story follows sisters Scarlet and Tella as they venture into the game of Caraval, looking for an escape from their abusive father and dead end lives. They are thrown into a world of deception, mystery, love and joy. This is one of those stories that you will instantly fall in love with. It will keep you on the edge of your seat the whole time, you never know what way that it is going to twist next. You never know what is real, and what isn’t. I truly love this book.

A Monster Calls Patrick Ness

This is a stunningly beautiful book. It is essentially a contemporary story, but with a fantasy, supernatural twist running through it. In this book you follow teenager Conor as he deals with all the emotions and struggles of his mother’s illness. When he is visited by a monster, you learn some very important life lessons with him. This book is absolutely incredible. You will sob uncontrollably but you won’t care. As soon as you start reading it, you won’t want to put it down. It is the perfect book to curl up with on a cold winter day.

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

if you are only going to read one book this year, it needs to be this one. This incredible YA contemporary follows 16-year-old Starr as she witnesses her best friend get murdered by a cop, and the aftermath of this event. The whole book is themed around the black lives matter movement and is such an important read. But not only is a topic that we all need to focus on and tackle more, the book itself is incredible. You are instantly so connected to the characters and you want justice for them. Honestly, everybody needs to read this book.

The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I freaking love this book. Generally speaking, I am not a massive fan of classics, but I adored this book. I had been wanting to read it for about five years and finally, after seeing the film, I decided to give it a go and I am so glad that I did. This is the ultimate story of consequences and depravity and it is just amazing. If you haven’t read this, you need to.

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

You need to read this book. Follow 16-year-old Vivian through most of the junior year at East Rockport High. At this very corrupted school, the football team are hailed as gods, allowed to do as they please with no repercussions, not even by teachers. Viv has had enough of ‘make me a sandwich’ comments, strictly enforced dress codes that only target girls, being grouped in hallways and all the other stuff that is going on at her school. So, taking inspiration from her ex rebel mother, she starts a zine called Moxie and triggers a revolution. This is a brilliant book. It explores feminism and girl’s rights and the idea that one girl can cause a change. I read this in just one sitting. It is brilliant. Everyone needs to read it.

Spellslinger by Sebastien De Castell

welcome to a world of magic and tricks. This is the first book in a new fantasy series and it is incredible. It has instantly become one of my all-time favourite books. In Spellslinger you follow 15-year-old Kellen as he navigates his way through a world where magic is everything. But he has an issue, his is disappearing. You follow him as he tries to uncover the secrets of his magic, untangle a web of lies surrounding him and try to survive long enough to save his sister. This is a fast paced, adrenaline fuelled book that will leave you itching for the next one. A must read for any fantasy lover.

The Upside Of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

This is hands down the best contemporary that I have read in ages. This story follows 17-year-old Molly over the course of one unforgettable summer. She is the girl who has had 26 crushes, but never done anything about it. this story follows her as she develops crush 27, makes new friends and generally starts to discover who she is. This is a beautiful story full of brilliant characters, and realistic storylines. I have never related to a story as much as I did this one. It is sweet and funny and so good. It is the perfect summer read.

Wilde Like Me by Louise Pentland

When you read this book, you will fall in love with Robin Wilde. This brilliant debut follows 20 something, single mum Robin over a year of her life. You see her deal with everything from mummy issues to dating and the book even touches on elements of mild depression. This book is sweet and funny, daring and brilliant. It has highs and lows and many funny moments. I read this in just two days, it was such a good book and I cannot wait for the next one. It is the perfect summer read.

Maze Runner by James Dashner

This is a truly brilliant trilogy. You follow 16-year-old Thomas as he is thrown into a terrifying world of lies, fear and monsters. With no memories of his old life, you discover and learn about the world alongside him and end up really rooting for him. These are the type of books that you are instantly sucked into and don’t want to put down. There is constantly so much going on. Fighting, adventure, mystery, friendship, drama and so much more. If you want a series that you can really get into, then this is the trilogy for you.

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

This is the story of a 17-year-old girl’s suicide. After Hannah takes her own life, tapes suddenly start arriving on her classmate’s doorsteps, on them, Hannah’s reasons for ending her life. Throughout this book you see how people’s actions have consequences, how everything is all linked together and entwined. And how everything can snowball. This is a heart-breaking story and is well worth a read. You will laugh and cry and really connect with the characters. I do suggest listening to this one, is because of the format of the book. The book is told from Clay’s (one of the people who has received the tapes) POV but is primarily Hannah speaking. The audiobook is read by Debra Wiseman and Joel Johnstone who each take a POV. This just makes the story a lot easier to follow and much more enjoyable. There is also something about listening to this that just feels right. Plus, they are both amazing actors who really help to bring the story to life and to connect you to the characters. But however you read it, this is one of those books that you just cannot put down.

Heartless by Marissa Meyer

I love this book. It is the best Wonderland retelling that I have found so far. In this story you follow Kath, the future Queen of Hearts, as she discovers who she is and who she wants to be. You watch her fall in love with someone she can’t ever have and discover how she became so heartless. This is a really fun, all be it, mildly devastating, story full of love and friendship, cute couples and a lot of whimsy. I would highly recommend the audiobook for this one as it really makes the book.

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stievater

Welcome to the paranormal world. This is the first book in a four-part series that follows a group of friends as they try to find and wake a long dead, and lost, welsh king. The story revolves around ghosts and lay lines, magic and psychics. It is a stunning book and is well worth a read. the writing is almost lyrical, the characters are brilliant and the storylines are so interesting. I cannot wait to continue with the series.

Wonder by R J Palacio

Welcome to the book that will make you think like an 11-year-old again. This book is a contemporary middle grade story about a young boy with serve facial disfigurement. You follow Auggie as he goes to school for the first time. The story is set over the first year of middle school and is told from multiple perspectives. You get chunks of the story from different people. From Auggie himself, to his sister, friends and even his sister’s boyfriend. Each character tells the whole story from their perspective, but also progresses the story. This is a truly stunning book that leaves you with so many feelings. It contains some very important life messages and is a book that everyone needs to read in their lifetime.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

This is one of my favourite contemporaries that I have read this year. It follows 18-year-old Cath, an avid fanfiction writer, as she navigates her way through her first year of college. this book is full of brilliant characters, amazing relationships and complex storylines. You cannot help but fall in love with the characters and the storyline. It is sweet and funny, but also sad and so relatable. This story was so much more complex then I was expecting and I ended up really enjoying it.

Mortal Instruments + Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare

this is without a doubt one of the best YA fantasy series, ever. It is full of adventure and drama, mystery and love, creatures and friendship. This is one of those series that that will always have you on the edge f your seat. You will want to read them all back to back. The series follows teenager Clary as she uncovers who she really is and is thrown head-first into the world of Shadowhunter’s and Downworlders. With amazing storylines, interesting characters, endless twists and a sprinkling of humour, this is the perfect series to curl up with and lose yourself in.

Have you ever wondered about Magnus Bane’s life? Then this is the book for you. This is a novella bind up centred around him. every story is from his point of view and it is amazing. You get so many little glimpses into his past, from meeting the formation of the accords to his first date with Alec. this book has it all. This is a must read for any fan of the Shadowhunter world.

Lockwood And Co by Jonathan Stroud

This is a middle grade series, which I would never give to a middle grader. The Lockwood & Co series focuses around a ghost hunting, private investigator agency. The series is set in a universe where ghost freely wonder the streets at night and it is up to children/teenagers (the only people that can actively see them) to hunt them and take them down. The books follow a specific agency ‘Lockwood & Co’ on their adventures. These books sound light-hearted, but they aren’t. Yes, there are a lot funny moments, but there are also lots of scary and disturbing ones as well. For instance, there is a moment in the first book with a bleeding room and a well were monks were buried alive. Definitely not a book I would give to anyone under 16, but it is a very good read. perfect for Halloween.

Until Friday Night by Abbi Glines

This is a stunning YA contemporary that follows two teenagers, Maggie and West, as they both struggle to come to terms with losing a parent. The pair connect over their joint experiences and slowly fall for each other. This is a beautiful story about loss and love, friendship and trust, and the idea that no two people experience the same thing, in the same way. It is honestly such a good book. It is beautifully written and you will instantly fall in love with the characters and the story. It is the first in a series of companion novels titled ‘The Field Party’ and they are well worth a read.

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo

This book is the first in the DC Icons series and features, surprisingly, around Wonder Woman. Well, around Diana, before she was Wonder Woman. You follow her as she helps to save the world for the first time. This book was amazing. It was fast paced and action packed but also really relatable and complex. I loved every second of it. although the actual story is set in the summer time, it is the perfect read for this time of year. I honestly read this in one sitting, I just could not put it down.

Vicious by V E Schwab

What makes a villain? Read this book and find out. this story follows Victor and Eli, as they try to uncover the secrets of EO’s (extra ordinaries). This is a story about friendship and betrayal, good and evil, heroes and villains. This book has serious X-Men vibes. It boasts complex characters, a storyline that you have to slowly unravel and a completely unique plot. This is the perfect book to sink your teeth into during that autumn time.

The Scarecrow Queen by Melinda Sailsbury

Welcome to an epic fantasy trilogy. These books follow a pair of teenage of girls, Twylla and Errin, who live in a very different world to ours. This is a world where myths are real and they are coming to get you. You follow the girls as they discover truths and watch their lives intertwine in unexpected ways. These books twist and turn, you never know what is coming next. There is mystery, drama, murder, betrayal and love. Everything that you could possibly want in a story. As soon as you finish one book, you will instantly want to pick up the next. They really are books to sink your teeth into.

Paper Towns by John Green

Paper Towns is the perfect spring contemporary. Set in May, follow Q and his friends as they try to unravel the mystery that is Margo and find out where she has gone. This is a brilliant story about love, isolations, friendship and adventure. You can’t help but fall in love with it. It is sweet and funny but also dark and it tackles some serious topics. It is one of those books that you want to read in one sitting. It is perfect to curl up with during spring and just lose yourself in.

Shadow And Bone by Leigh Bardugo

I got through this book in basically one sitting. This story follows Alina as her world implodes and she is thrown into the world of Grisha’s. as her world is turned upside down she is in a race against time to learn to control her new power and uncover the truth of her new world. This is a brilliant story and I am really looking forward to continuing the series. The world is so interesting. It is truly a book that you can be fully absorbed into.

And those are my favourite reads from 2017! I loved so many books last year, it was a really amazing reading year for me. If you would like to know everything else that I read last year or my bookish goals for 2018, I put a post up last week talking all about it. I will link it below. What did you read last year? what were your favourites? Did any of mine make your list? I hope that you have enjoyed todays post and I will see you all again soon.

My Top 25 Reads Of 2017 Hey Guys! Today I am going to be talking about my favourite reads from last year. I made this post last January about my favourites from 2016 and I love that post.