#to think this started off as a 2k short story that I couldn't stop myself from expanding on

[bitchymanlet]

Wowza I’ve already written 14k words for this fic and I’m not even done yet

[cruorons]

Writing Process

Okay, so I thought I'd share some of my writing process here considering it is a writing blog after all. Maybe someone will find these useful or give some helpful input considering my process tends to be rather chaotic.

1. Ideas

I don't really sit down with the intention of coming up with an idea for a fic. Most of it comes to me naturally, as I go on about my day and daydream about certain dynamics or lore. However, I've noticed I tend to get inspired by:

• music - I like making playlists for fanfics I haven't even written yet, and then listen to the songs as I write. It helps me shape the plan for how the story is about to go, set the mood, in certain cases even inspire specific scenes.

• personal experiences - I noticed fics like that tend to perform well. People can tell when something is heartfelt. Do not underestimate your readers.

• ships - Already mentioned them, but about to highlight them again. Some people say that ship fics are less than but I couldn't disagree more. I've never been truly in love myself, yet find it such a fascinating thing. I could write about it endlessly from a bunch of different perspectives and never get bored of it.

Maybe it's my brain stopping me, but I never get inspired by fanart, as much as I love looking through the tags on here. Just a fun fact.

Basically, I start off with a single scene in my brain and then, I build off of it.

2. Beginning

When I realize I have something to elaborate on, that's when I boot up Google Docs and open a new document. I used to work in Word instead, but I switched to a different program for convenience. Google Docs crashes less and seems neater.

That's also when I like to think of a name for the fic. I search through synonyms for key words, phrases, famous and niché quotes. I like my titles short and concise, but also symbolic; such as with 'inferno', 'endophagy' and 'dowager'. They have to make sense within the context of the fanfic.

After I find something cool, that's when I make a document called "[fic name] PLAN".

- It's where I start writing down the idea in more detail.

- It's good to elaborate on each scene. A few sentences won't cut it; sometimes in the plan, I even put in actual paragraphs or even dialogue.

- English is not my native language, but I like to write the plan using it anyway. Ironically, it gives my brain more freedom; grammar in English is easier than the one in my native language.

- My plans usually have ~1-2k words.

- If I write a chaptered fic, I try to make a plan document for each chapter. Also, I tend to have the beginning of the story and the ending in my head, but add onto the middle as I go. So, even though I've had the idea for 'endophagy' in my head since 2021, as well as the ending (!), the chapters in between are improv.

3. The fanfic

I try to finish writing the plan in full before moving onto the actual thing, but there are exceptions.

I create a new document called the actual fic's name in another tab and start writing. I check the plan document every now and then, because oftentimes I forget about certain story beats or dialogue I wanted to include. When I finish a paragraph, I mark it in red in the plan, then switch the tab again. It's helpful to see your progress.

Now, a more controversial thing about me is that

I refuse to make multiple drafts

There are writers that make a bunch of drafts. If that works for you, amazing! Personally, it'd drive me insane. The longer I work on a fic, the more I begin to despise it. I don't write for pleasure, I write because I have things boiling in my head and it's the only way to release the tension. A such, I write the entire fic and then read through it once to catch mistakes. Then, I post and forget all about it.

If you've read through everything, congratulations! And thank you. I have found a welcoming community on ao3 and I like it there so, so much.

[neonstatic]

there is definitely smth going on w me emotionally but i can't put my finger on it bc whenever i almost get it i kind of just forget. esp when ppl ask me how i'm doing. my mind goes blank like nothing's going on and like i'm having my first day on earth.

so what i'm gonna do now is make a bullet point list of everything that's bothering me:

change in season is fkg with me (cold, less sun, etc etc)

lent 2k to my uncle so he can get medical help overseas

been working sundays alone for months and every single time it's a nightmare to manage

changed my availability so they can use me 1 out 3 days off as an emergency but they schedule me in practically every time, so it's basically 2 days off

working 5 days a week as a part-timer feels like a scam

right as we were getting along, one coworker is starting to press my buttons

none of the other guys in my department wanna work more than 2 days a week, so the rest falls on me

my shifts are often very short. it sucks to do a total of 2 hrs in transit for a 4-hr shift without lunch

couldn't find the energy for washday, next week hopefully

took a shower tho, my first in a week

had to run after supervisors to get my schedule every. week. for over 6 months now. even when i wait til the last minute (sunday, when i usually work again on wed) sometimes the schedule is "hard to find" or "incomprehensible" to them bc the manager in charge has her own language or smth

this week i was told to just "repeat the same schedule as last week." couldn't even get a physical copy.

(last week's schedule was made like shit: they didn't put me in for wed evening when usually no one else but me is available. therefore i did not come in.)

had to mute my phone so that i miss work's call bc ofc they would call.

had 3 whole days off and spent 2 at home sitting on my ass. it's not that i even wanted to, it felt more like i couldn't do more than that.

libido off the charts but no space or privacy to take care of it

therefore feeling v touch-starved and clingy. which is gross

didn't brush my teeth last night after a near-perfect 5-month streak. worried this might be the end of a good hygiene era bc it feels harder and harder to keep up the routine

only thing going on for me rn is:

atla fixation pt 2. lovelovelove zuko in every shape and form and pairing. i was looking at fanart of him last night and felt v emotional. not normal

renaissance of my writing phase, or: help, i can't stop thinking abt one of my 2016 roleplay forums with my beloved oc and the small cast of characters tied to him and now i've started rewriting them all by myself like a bedtime story!

oh and i have friends who love me. and i love them too

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

the shrooms cafe

part 1- watermelon tea with strawberry boba

hello everyone 🥺 this is the first series i've ever done so i'm a little nervous but i'm so excited because I really like this story!!!

this is the first part, and I have literally no idea how long it will be because I don't have a solid plan/outline yet! so feel free to send little concepts or things you would like to see included 🥺 i can't guarantee they will be added but i'll definitely try my best :)

shrooms cafe masterlist

my masterlist

warnings: none

word count: 2k

"Stella, we have to leave in 10 minutes!" You called up the stairs. "Come down so you can eat breakfast!" "Yeah Stella, hurry up!" Seraphina yelled from her spot at the dining table. She was finishing up her fruit loops with a grin on her face. "You're going to make us late!" As the youngest, she often liked to bother her sisters. She was only five, just starting kindergarten, but she was already a master at getting under their skin.

"Sera, don't antagonize your sister, please," you reminded her. "She's not going to make us late." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Seraphina, you're so immature." Despite only being 11, Sophie was clearly the mother hen. You sometimes joked that the girls didn't even need you; Sophie would take on the role of their mother with no problem. "Besides, you were the one who made us late yesterday." "It's not my fault I couldn't find my purple socks. What was I supposed to do?" "Maybe wear different socks?" Sophie suggested smugly. "You know I need my purple socks, otherwise I can't write my words!" Sophie rolled her eyes again. "You don't need a certain color socks to write." "Yes I do!" You smiled to yourself, turning back to the fridge as the two bickered. You pulled out the ingredients you would need to make their lunches, then reached up on your tiptoes to get their lunch bags from the top of fridge. "Okay girls, what kind of sandwiches do you want today?" "Peanut butter and jelly!" Seraphina said excitedly. "Why did I even ask?" You smiled. "And Sophie?" "Turkey please, but I can make it myself," She said, sliding off her chair and bringing the breakfast dishes to the sink. "Thank you, love," you said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "You are such a big help in the mornings, I don't know what I would do without you." "You would have a real handful dealing with those two," She said matter-of-factly. "That I would," you laughed, handing her a butter knife. "Stella!" you called again. The 8 year old came running down the stairs, carrying her backpack and another bag. "Did you forget I have dance today?" "I did not forget," you reassured her. She liked to plan things, and got worried quickly if she wasn't kept in the loop. "I'll pick you up at the door by the playground, does that work?" "Actually, I was wondering if I could walk today? A bunch of my friends do, and I feel kind of weird having my mom drop me off." "That should be fine," You nodded. "But stay with the group, don't go off by yourself." "I won't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You're so overprotective." "Oh yes, I'm so sorry for trying to keep you safe," you laughed. "Now what do you want for lunch?" Once everything was ready, the four of you made your way out to the car. Stella climbed into the back, and Sophie helped Seraphina get buckled. Even though the three of them bickered a lot (as sisters often do) it wasn't hard to see how much they loved each other. "Everybody buckled?" You asked, looking behind you. When you heard a chorus of confirmation, you started your playlist and smiled when the opening notes of Adore You filtered through the speakers. It was easily one of your favorite songs, and the girls liked it just as much as you did. It wasn't a long drive to the cafe; it took about 15 minutes if traffic was good. The girls' school bus stopped about a block away, so they walked there together every morning. Then after school, they would come back to the shop and read books or finish homework until it was time to close up and go home. You parked in the lot behind the shop, helping the girls out of the car and making sure they had all their things. Seraphina held out her hand, and Stella grabbed it to help her jump over a puddle on the sidewalk. Sophie gasped excitedly. "I think that was the biggest jump you've ever done!" The girls promptly launched into a discussion about who could jump farther as you unlocked the door. As soon as it was open, they made their way over to the mushrooms to find some books for the day. Their voices filled the shop as they chatted about school and the cute boy Stella liked and the kitten they had seen outside their house the other day. You went about your morning duties, flipping on the lights and starting up the coffee machine. You also turned on the oven, preparing to bake the muffins. (They were frozen- who has the time to bake them fresh? Certainly not a mother of 3.) Once the kitchen was ready, you went over to the radio and tuned it to a familiar station, the soft

music adding some pleasant background noise. "Okay girls, it's time to get to the bus stop," you said, leaning over the counter to speak to them. "Don't forget, I'm walking to dance," Stella said, pointing at you as she walked to the door. "I won't forget," you said, pointing back at her. "Have a good day!" "Bye mom," Seraphina waved her small hand at you. "Bye honey, bye Sophia," You smiled, blowing a kiss to the three of them. "See you later!" Once the three of them were gone, you went around to the shelves and straightened up, getting ready for your first customers.

-----

After the lunch rush had dwindled down and the shop was nearly empty again, you were getting ready to go on your lunch break. You had just leaned down to grab a sandwich from the deli case when the bell above the door jingled, alerting you that a new customer had come in. You straightened up, your eyes going wide when you realized who it was, but you quickly fixed your face and smiled. "Welcome to the Shrooms Cafe!" "Hello," the man smiled back, speaking in a deep British accent. "I saw your sign for boba tea, and I've been looking everywhere to find some. You're the third shop I've been to today, so I'm really hoping you're not sold out like everywhere else," he grinned, coming closer to the counter. "No, we're not out! What kind did you want?" You asked. "Um... probably should have thought about that before I came in," he laughed nervously, looking at the menu above your head. "Oh, don't worry about it, we're not busy right now," you said reassuringly. “Take all the time you need.” He smiled gratefully, stepping off to the side while he read the menu. Meanwhile, you fidgeted with towels and wiped off the work surfaces and tried to pretend you weren’t staring at him. Who could blame you, really? Harry Styles had just walked into your coffee shop. Who wouldn’t stare? “I think…” he spoke again, breaking you out of your trance. “I’ll do the watermelon tea, with strawberry boba, please.” You nodded, laughing lightly. He quirked one eyebrow, smiling along with you. “What’s funny?” “Oh, no, it’s just… of course you would order the one with watermelon.” “Oh,” he smiled, and you thought you detected a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I guess I do have a bit of a reputation with fruit, don’t I?” “Just a little,” you grinned. “One watermelon tea with strawberry boba, coming right up.” After ringing up the order, you quickly got to work. Instead of his real name, you wrote “watermelon man” on the sticker on the cup. Hopefully he would appreciate your little joke. “Here you are,” you smiled. “I hope it’s good, seeing as you worked so hard to find some.” “I’m sure it’ll be amazing,” he laughed, grabbing a straw from beside the cash register. You also noticed he had dropped a generous tip into the jar, probably while you had been busy making the drink. “Have a nice day,” you smiled. “You as well,” he said with a small wave before he made his way out the door, sipping his drink as he went. You sighed, shaking your head with a small grin as you grabbed the sandwich from earlier and went to a table for your lunch break.

-----

“Hi mom!” Sophie yelled, holding open the door for Seraphina. “Hi girls!” You called from the back corner of the shop. “I’m by the mushrooms!” The girls quickly found you, Seraphia hugging you and Sophie situating herself on one of the short stools. “How was your day?” You asked. “Good! I gave my report on monarch butterflies and guess what Mrs. Wilson said?” Sophie asked, leaning forward. “What did she say?” “She said it was the best report she had heard all day. She waited until the other kids left so they wouldn’t feel bad, but still,” she said proudly. “Oh wow! I’m so proud of you,” you said, moving over to hug her. “What did I tell you? You can do anything you put your mind to,” you smiled. “Including writing the best report in the whole class, hmm?” She nodded happily before turning away from you to pull a book off the shelf closest to her. “Which one are you starting now?” You asked, leaning over her shoulder to see the book she had. “Anne of Green Gables,” she said. “Oh, I loved those books when I was your age,” you smiled. “I think you’ll really like them.”

She nodded, already immersed in the book. You turned back to Seraphina, who was pulling her folder out of her backpack. “And how was your day, miss Seraphina?” “It was so good, look!” She handed you a paper with two gold stars at the top. “My teacher gave me two gold stars. She said my writing was very good!"

"All that practicing we did must have worked, then!" you said, beaming as you looked at her letters. They were still wobbly, but a huge improvement over how they had been at the beginning of the school year.

She nodded. "And then I colored this picture for you!” She handed you another page. This one had a drawing of you holding hands with her, Sophie, and Stella. The three of you had big smiles and lots of adorable little details. Stella had her hair in a bun and was wearing ballet shoes. Sophie was holding a book in her free hand. Seraphina had drawn herself wearing a shirt with a cat (her favorite animal) on it, and she was wearing her purple socks. Lastly, there was you, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a shirt with a big red heart on it. “Since you like coffee so much,” she explained. “It's beautiful,” you smiled, hugging her. “We’ll hang it on the fridge when we get home, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed. “Why don’t you find a book and read with Sophie for a little bit? We have just over an hour, then we have to go get Stella from dance.” She nodded, handing you the papers and her backpack before running over to the shelves. She grabbed a picture book, settling into the red cushion in the tree and beginning to flip through the pages.

----- “Alright girls, it’s time to pick up Stella,” you said as you wiped off the counter one last time. You had already turned off all the machines and packed up everything else for the day. You flipped the lights off on the way out, smiling a bit when you saw the hand painted sign for boba tea in the window. Harry came into your mind again, with his easy smile, his kind words, and his blushing laugh. You really hoped you would see him again, even though you knew you probably wouldn't. Your shop wasn't very big or well known. How likely was it for him to come to the same little shop in the middle of London again? Still, it didn’t hurt to hope. Maybe he would decide to try the other flavors and stop in again. Your smile spread even further when you started your playlist and Lights Up was the first song to come on. Apparently, it was going to be hard to forget about him.

[summerofsnowflakes]

1. Tipsy Decisions

Summary: Y/n and Daveed has been flirty friends for a while, she decides to make them a little more than just friends after getting a lil bit drunk. 

Daveed Diggs x Reader 

Word Count: 2K 

Warnings: 18+ There is some smut. 

A/N: This was purely a self indulgent story for myself after a pretty crappy evening.   Enjoy 

Although the night was young, you had already managed to get a tipsy far too early. You and your friends were out for a chilled night at a bar in the city, convinced at this stage you had surpassed that club lifestyle. However, even in the early stages of the night the group got louder and actions got sillier, if you were being honest with yourselves, you couldn't further from the truth. As you sat around the table chatting you noticed the missing presence of two very important members of the group, Rafael and Daveed. You and Daveed had the flirty banter friendship thing going perfectly, but there was something between you but neither of you seemed ready to take this further than that for the time being. Maybe tonight could change that.

"Earth you Y/n." The sound of your friend's voice bought you back to reality.

"Sorry what?" You asked, you could feel your body heating up.

You were met with a knowing look. "And who were you thinking of then huh missy? They asked in a teasing tone.

You glared, they were very aware of your situation. "I doubt I need to say it really, but I'm going to sleep with Daveed."

"Excuse me?" You were met with an amused look.

You repeated yourself. "Tonight's the night, I am going home with Daveed. Providing he's happy with that of course. "

"Good one sis." You know your firend saw it as a joke because you had said this before, countless times actually and you always chicken out. You ignored the disbelief in their voice and focused on letting the liquid courage relax you and enjoyed the nervous buzz as you impatiently waited for Daveed and Rafa to arrive.

You were not disappointed by the sight you were met with as he made his way over your table, he was dressed in a plaid cuffed trousers and white dress shirt that was tight enough that it accentuated his arms. His signature curls bounced as he stepped. You felt like you your skin was buzzing in anticipation. Daveed always looked good but tonight was another level, you were already so gone for him. He managed to land himself in a chair next to you and you were hit with his cologne as he pulled you into a hug to say hello. You wanted to melt into his touch right there, but you pulled yourself back and acted as though he wasn't having this effect on you. You reveled in the attention he focused on you, and flirted with him non stop, you left light touches on his arm and you made sure he had a good shot of your cleavage. You did your best to be more full on than normal, in the hopes he would catch on, it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Rafael and Daveed as they shot each other unspoken looks about your behaviour.

You and the girls had decide dance as the drinks continued to flow, while the remaining friends stayed sitting, they changed up seats to so they could chat over the music in the bar. You weren't aware but Daveed couldn't take his eyes off you. Your not so subtle tactics had really been paying off for him and he was entranced as  swayed your hips to the beat and sang along, you were having the best time but it was time to set you plan in motion. You 'accidentally' tripped right by where he was sitting so that as you fell you landed in his lap, you giggled loudly.

"You okay Y/n? you didn't hurt yourself?" He looked at you with concern and he naturally placed his hands on your body.

Still laughing you replied as sweetly as you could. "I'm fine, sorry hun total accident. Thank you for cushioning my fall though." You ran hand down the opening of his shirt and hooked your fingers around his necklace, ghosting your fingers over his chest as you spoke.

He laughed back still holding onto your body. "Anytime sweetheart."

"I must say though Diggs, you look positively fantastic with me on top of you."

"Oh yeah? well you are a beautiful sight."

You looked away momentarily as you felt your shyness trying to creep back in. You shook her off quickly though before leaning in closer to him. "Can I tell you a secret D?" He leant in too before you continued. "I'd like to be on top of you without any clothes on."

Daveed coughed loudly as you spoke to drown out your words to the people around you, he looked around the group quickly to check whether you had been heard. His eyes flickered back to you, studying your face as he tried to figure out whether you're joking.

"I would let you take me right here if you would let me." You purred into his ear.

That was enough for him he felt the room spin at your words. "Meet me in the bathroom." He whispered back and you nodded giddily at your success.  

The next five minutes were a total blur and it wasn't until you were being pressed up against a cubical wall that your head resurfaced from the Daveed's intoxicating waters. You held on to him for dear life as he assaulted your lips and your neck with kisses, you were desperate for one another. One hand trailed down your body while his other hand was placed at the side of your head, you were trapped, not that you were trying to go anywhere. You deepened the kiss and you felt his hand reach under the short flowy dress and his fingers ghosted along your panties. You moaned at the mere contact with his hands on you and his other hand flew to your mouth.

"Y/n, baby. You need to be quiet darling or you're gunna get us in trouble." Unable to talk, you nodded in response.

He let go of your mouth and went back to work down below as he roughly kissed you again. He expertly moved your panties to the side and he ran his finger slowly over your clit, you could have come undone right there it. He moved slowly in a circular motion and your head fell back against the wall, your breathing increased at the pressure you felt on your most sensitive area. You heard the door to the bathroom swing open and you gasped as Daveed used this opportunity to slip his finger inside of you.

"Y/n. Are you okay? Do you need me to hold your hair back hun?" You heard one of your friends call out from the other side of the cubical. Your eyes widened and he smiled devilishly nodding at you to answer while he continued to expertly work you close to your orgasm with his fingers.

Through ragged breathing you found your voice, "I'm all good, just ummm. Just needed a minute to myself. I'll be out soon."

"Okay, well text me in you need me yeah?" She asked.

"Of course, thanks lovely."

When she had gone Daveed pulled his fingers out of you, teasingly slowly. Just as the knot in your stomach had began to form and you whined in response. Daveed ignored you and spoke softly and sweetly as though he didn't just have his fingers buried deep inside of you.  "Make an excuse to leave, I'll have an car out front in five. I'll go out first." He left with one more kiss to the lips. Needless to say your plan had gone way better than expected. You let out soft laugh to yourself about what had just happened, still in disbelief he left you in sexual suspense, half finished.  

By the time you had made your excuses, gotten the taxi to Daveed's flat and sat down on his sofa, you had more than enough time to feel more sober. In the cold light of the early hours of the morning your courage had diminished and you began to worry you had gone a bit too far with all of this. It seemed Daveed was in the same boat and as he handed you a glass of whiskey. Your hand brushed against his and you both chuckled to yourself about the whole evening. He powered through the awkwardness and sat himself down next to you, he started a conversation about something really random that helped you both feel more at ease. The drinks went down easy and the soft touches started back up again. Daveed's body called out to you and you couldn't resist him any longer. In a bold move you crawled into his lap to straddle him and ran your hands across his chiseled torso, he watched the movement of your hands very aware of his heavy breathing.

"Don't be nervous D, I told you earlier you look best when I am on top of you. Now stop fretting and kiss me." You brought your lips to meet his in a passionate kiss and both snapped back to the confident groove from earlier. In the heat of the kiss Daveed placed his hand firmly on your hips and moved you back and forth forcefully against the hardness of his cock. You both moaned at the sensation of the friction caused by your movements and you began to take over, grinding into him to show how much you were craving his touch.

Through the ragged breathing Daveed whispered in your ear. "Not that I am not enjoying this Y/n, but I want to finish what I started earlier for you Y/n? Clearly you itching with anticipation." His words sent a shudder down your spine and your cursed him silently for being so cocky even if he was right.

"Please." Was the only response you could manage as your body ached for his touch. He answered your prayers but teasingly so, he ran his hand up and down your body before slipping his hand under your dress for the second time that evening. This time lightly grazed his fingers agonizingly slow along your leg  and you wriggled in response trying to get him to touch you. He chucked lowly at your impatience. "Y/n you're body is so irresistible to me, let me enjoy touching you and I promise I'll get you there."

You let go of your impatience and allow him to have his way and when you were least expecting it he inserted his finger deep inside of you and you cried out in pleasure. He started off moving in and out slowly and you allowed him to have full control of your body. You whispered his name along with a full list of profanities. You started rocking yourself back and forth in time with his finger and he added another finger inside of you. You were a full on mess on top of him riding his hand and chasing your much needed relief, still pent up from earlier. Daveed looked up at you in total awe as did all the work yourself, his trousers grew incredibly tight. When sensed you were getting close he added a third finger and with his other hand he reached for your clit and massaged in a circular motion going at the same pace you were riding his hand.  Within second you were coming undone on top of him the pleasure sent shockwaves through your body as you rode out your high out slower now you had fallen over the edge.

As you came back down to earth you opened your eyes that had been screwed shut for who knows how long and Daveed is already smiling up and you. He looked proud of himself and you let out a breathless laugh.

"Girl, you have got me so gone. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen." Daveed spoke gleefully before leaning in and kissing you once again. "You think you can take another one?"

You smiled back at him, still floating. "D, I'm completely at your mercy."

That was all he needed to hear.

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Pt. 3

Day 11.......Woke up.....Started my day getting breakfast then headed to my neurologist office to get my form from my job in regards to my restrictions. After, went to the library to print out documents in regards to a situation that led to someone purchasing something from a PayPal. Pretty much someone hacked into my PayPal and purchase a monthly subscription to watch a show smh. As I was heading to work, I thought about all of my problems and have decided to take care of all the problems. Feels like time is not on my side in my opinion and I can no longer deal with the bullshit no longer. As take care of the problems head on, I have no problem dealing with consequence even if my body limitations is at risk cause. I'm alone in this and that's no one fault cause everyone has their own problem to fix.

On on to the side story......2012.......

The new year started and I was in a long distance relationship. Unfortunately, It didnt last long. Obviously, communication was the cause of the problems. From there I was talking to girls got into a relationship but that didnt even last too. Then I saw her. Now I'm not gonna write her government name. So I'm gonna name her HopelessRomantic. Unlike every women I've been with physically, I actually found her online. I didn't expect her to give me a chance but she did. At first, we were back and forth breaking up and making up. Then mid year, she broke up with thru a inbox smh. She was right tho, I wasn't doing anything with my life and she felt I had no ambition. It's crazy because before she broke up with me, I wanted to let her know that I finally got a job lol. During that time til September, I was dating and talking to other women but at the same time trying to get back with HopelessRomantic. Then at one point, HopelessRomantic was going through a tough time. So I took an opportunity to help her out. I was making sure she was okay. Then one day there was a BWA (beach) reunion show and since I told HopelessRomatic about my backyard wrestling career, I invited her to the show. That day was interested as I got to see some of the guys even my first love and by the night, I brought her home and "Netflix and chill" happened lol. It was our first time doing something after 9 months of us knowing eachother. From that moment on we were back together but this time she trusted me and gave me another chance of love again. On to other things,in that year I started wrestling officially in BWA (Bronx). I had a chance to wrestle in RCW but I decided not to go. I knew I wasn't going to be comfortable there and plus the only people I would mostly trust would be the DIW wrestlers that I meant in 2011. Everyone else ehhhhh (the white boys weren't really there lol). BWA (Bronx) hands down was the best time of my backyard wrestling career. Holy Convictions Tag Team with Genocide, 4 aces, matches with Loco, Dixon, Dom The Don, my epic match against Gencocide that open everyone's eyes, and the match of the event of SuperShowDown (their Wrestlenania), against Joker. I had a epic time in the BWA (Bronx). Now back to HopelessRomantic. Our relationship was great. Our families liked us together, I got to see her often, I was working, the sex was great lol, and she even motivated me to actually go to college. The original plan was to go study Criminal Justice. Then December hit and after the hurricane, I came from chilling with a friend and HopelessRomantic send me a message on Facebook breaking up with me. There wasn't a particular reason. She wrote like an essay but it had nothing to do with me. I can only assume she wasn't interested anymore. So the year was heading to its end. So I decided to live it up with Black, Red, Green, and Blue Label with some 40s. Regardless of the break up, I still had good year.

Day 12.......Woke up and started my day with a cup of coffee. Went to my job to pick my check check my app to see how much since I started last week and today was pay week and apparently I got no pay listed on this week. So I can only assume my next check will make up for last week or something. Money is always with no value hard to get by but hey whatever. So went on my morning and TD Bank to fax the people apart of my dispute case and unfortunately the bank printing machine doesn't work doesn't work. So another Negative Nancy in the poison air of New York City. After work, I saw my Autismo crew (J God, Weirdo, and Porn Plug). Chopped it up a little bit and by the way F**K WWE 2K!!!!!

On on to the side story......2013......

2013 new year.....still working on and off. Surprisely, me and HopelessRomantic kept in contact regardless of the breakup. One day I brought her over just to chill. She got cozy which didn't bother cause she was single as was I. From what I remember, we were talking and it led to her being emotional and she was crying. So held her tight then boom......we had sex......The next day we were talking and I kinda express to her I wanted to get back together but she didn't want that. I actually cried but accepted and got over it. Probably like a month later, she got into a relationship with someone else which sucked even more. Other than that I signed up for a program that dealt with Digital Media and did well in the program. I was still working but not as much. My birthday but on that day I was sick (for about a week). After I healed, I started this new job that my guy Dirty Sandchez aka Eyevrows from Getaway hook me up with. It was an maintenance job. Did the job and all. July 4th hit and partying up drinking doing my thing. I woke up and got a call from HopelessRomantic letting me know that her Aunt passed. All I had was tears cause her aunt meant a lot The last time I talk to her was Mother's Day so the pain was more. I was mad and I played Dante's Inferno with anger. From morning til night, I beat the game. The one thing I notice alot that day was I had double vision that whole day. I would think that would be gone by the morning but it wasn't. After hanging out with my boy. I started to fall easily and constantly told I looked crossed eyed. By August my left leg felt like I or sprained it. August I finally hit the switch and started college. I was studying Mental Health/Domestic Violence Counseling. First semester went well. All As and 1 B. I even had my own little crew.

SIDE NOTE: One person in that crew ending up being my girlfriend (2016)

During the first semester I was still dealing with my health problems. Things got worse. My hands were so numb that I couldn't write. My double vision was there everyday and I had a hard time walking on my left leg. After going to the emergency room doing MRIs and Catscans and testing my strength with a group of neurologists and constantly hearing that I'm so young (I was 22), I saw a neurologist and he told me that I have Multiple Sclerosis.......

Day 13........Woke up, got ready, and speed walked to the bus stop to get to work. Unfortunately, I got a little late due to the bipolarness of the bus coming on schedule. When. I got to work, I couldn't punch in due to the app I punch in on couldn't connect to the server. After work, I went to see a friend that I haven't seen in quite some time and that was pretty much my day.

On on to the side story......2014.......

2014 came. I finally got my finally treatment after waiting for months for insurance reasons smh. I had to take it every week. I continued college by taking free classes inthe winter semester which was apart of Fall semester. As a result passed both classes with an A. From there my GPA was 3.6. With my education background with a learning disability, D equalivent grades, being in special ed classes, and receiving services due to my learning disability, for a guy with a incurable health condition that pretty much messes with your body depending on the central nervous system state, it was remarkable for something like that to happen. Spring semester hit and once again did my thing in classes, went on dates, and followed the routine of being on grind. Then the summer semester hit and I was offered to take a short summer class and I took it of course since it was free. That morning of first day of the class, I wanted to do the impossible and walked from my home to school (Albemarle and East 19 to Manhattan Beach). It took about 3 hours. Got to class on time and kind sat around or whatever. Some other people got inthe class and informed the professor that they were in the other classroom. For some odd reason I was more aware of a woman saying that then the others. Crazy cause that same woman ended up being my girlfriend by the end of September. We ain't saying government names. So her name for this post is Hermione (she likes Harry Potter). She had tattoos, smart, and she was honest for what I feel most of the time. Eventually the relationship didn't last and ended the same way.......a message. Her reasons made sense I guess (went too fast). Honestly I don't believe time should be a determining factor for a relationship to happen. If you feeling this person then give it a shot but that's just my opinion. Also, in 2014, I officially ended my backyard wrestling career against my friend, my brother, and my on screenplay rival Rodney Banks. It was the perfect ending to the legend that was called Heavy D.

Day 14.......Woke up. Gather some clothes and did some laundry. Sat outside for a little bit and headed back to the shelter and took a power nap. Woke up about 3 and watch One Piece Episode 901. I'm already current with the manga. So I'm basically watching what I already read. That was pretty much my Sunday. Plus I need all the rest for the upcoming days of this week. I gotta say, I'm slowly getting myself together to the point that people inthe shelter are noticing me more as hardworking individual. I'm always on the move and that's being notice and respected by people in the shelter.

On on to the tragic side story......2015

2015 started off okay. Winter semester was a success. I saw Hermione. But I didnt really give her attention after the break up but after we talked, we became friends and that was it nothing more. Spring semester came and I did my thing again and lived the college life but got a job. So now I'm get on my grind and officially had no time for much. Summer was here and my mother was working getting her passport to go back to Jamaica and see her family after years. One time I came from work and as usual expected my mother to be home since she doesn't like to be out late. She nevered came home which was extremely alarming. Call the police and I was informed that she was in the hospital in the city. Got to the hospital and use the phone to locate and she was in the 3rd floor ICU. I didn't know what ICU meant at that time but I knew it was something bad. Got to the ICU and saw my mother........Hospital covered with a bandage on her head as if someone bash a metal bat on her head. Come to find out, she had a seizure and fell on head in the street very hard. I was in tears. All I can remember was that the last time I saw her she told me that she was heading out. My mind was wtf like this ain't real. Called everyone I can call and every got the news that my mother was inthe hospital. She eventually got transfer to a rehab center in Far Rockaway Queens. Things seem to be okay. Then I come home from a hard day at home and I get phone call from a friend informing me that something happened and my younger brother didn't sound okay on the phone. Went to the hospital my mother was sent to. Her eyes was closed. Next couple of days saw her as the machine was helping her breath not responding or reacting inthe room. The doctor spoke to me and younger brother and pretty much said there a very little chance they can help. By October 12th. My younger brother called me and informed me that our mother died........

Day 15......Woke up.....Had to skip gym again. I had to get my mail and sent some emails. After, I went straight to work. After work, I happen to see a face I haven't seen in quite some time and we actually introduce our names after knowing each other for years. It's kind of cool knowing someone and finally just engaging in a conversation (just regularly). Then mailed my my money order to this One Shot Deal that I owe money to unfortunately. While on my way back to the shelter, I started thinking.....now knowing that just about everyone knows that I have Multiple Sclerosis......Hawk's Eye will be on me and my refusals from any assistance will make things a little more tough and edgier. So at this point, I have to be smart on everything I do. But I'm sure I'll get through this someway.

On on to 2016.......

2016 was here. After a hard 2015, I was able to keep the home, still work, made sure my health was good and survived a hard semester. I made the impossible possible. On the other hand, things were different. I started living somewhat a independent free life. I went to school, work, and party on the weekends. I was even going to the strip clubs and bars just living it up with my people. Eventually, I had this feeling like I needed to be what I was and I felt it was time to look for love again and I found it. No government names revealed. So her name was SoReal lol. I knew her since I started college (2013). We kept in contact and eventually we got together in July. It was love again. I haven't felt this type of love since my first relationship. She was smart, hardworking, and very determined to finish college. I was in love. When she felt she needed me, I was ready to help. We went on multiple dates. We talked all the time and we expressed that we loved each other. Other than love, I GRADUATED FROM KINGSBORO WITH AN ASSOCIATES!!!!! By September, I was city bound at City College. By the fall semester thing weren't good between me and SoReal. She distanced herself from me and with that I got less focus on school. Our relationship was so back and forth. When December hit, I got a letter from the landlord informing me that I must pay 3500 dollars in two weeks or I get evicted. So rent is not really being paid by my roommate, I'm barely getting thru college, and my relationship is a mess. As a result, I was still in relationship surprisingly, I pass my classes (barely), and I had to ask for assistance from this service called the One Shot Deal (where your whole rent is paid off but you got to pay back the money that was covered. 2017......would finally bring me to the limit.....

Not everything was meant to be......

Jikai........One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2017 The Fall Of A Headliner

Mad King Recharging Arc