#to the point where they would pretend to not know the term for sexism

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Anyway demon slayer was very enjoyable even if it isnt the deepest manga ever but i do think nezuko could have been handled better. She gets more agency towards the end of the story and i know the reason she was so animalistic was because of how demon-ism works. But for someone whos the deuteragonist of the story whose condition the entire story revolves around she really. Doesnt have many opinions of her own.

Shes a part of tanjiros friend group but aside from zenitsu we dont see her interact with tanjiros friends much. Were supposed to believe that nezuko doesnt want to be a demon like tanjiro doesnt want her to and that makes sense. But it would be good to at least hear her say it. She doesnt do any reflection on the demons like her brother does. Or if she does we dont get to hear any of it. But it would have been meaningful if she could do that, since shes even closer to the whole demon world than tanjiro. And while tanjiro and nezuko both are motivated by grief for their family, we dont see nezukos grief as prominently as tanjiros. She was the one that saw her family die. She should be feeling the survivors guilt as strongly as tanjiro if not more but after she first turned into a demon, she immediately got into antics that were meant to look cute for comic relief.

I think an easy fix would have been to just make nezuko 7 or 8 years younger than tanjiro instead of just one. I know gender roles in the early 20th century were Like That but tanjiro really. Coddles his sister way too much for someone whos only one year younger than him. Outside of fights nezuko is basically never asked to help with anything. She barely even provides emotional support for tanjiro or even just hang out with him, like siblings close in age would do. Tanjiros view of nezuko feels more like he helped raise her rather than like he grew up with her. And nezuko being like 7 would fit this dynamic better than her being like 14.

Being a young child would make nezuko feel like she has more agency too. Bc a 7 year old may not be old enough to understand all the nuances of the demons or talk with tanjiro about their grief. But if she shows up in a battle and kicks a demons head off with her funky demon powers just to protect her brother, i think that would be more profound if she were a young child than if she were a teenager.

Or idk let her gesture to the others more to communicate despite the bamboo gag. Or like. Rewrite the first part of the story so she isnt in a 2 year coma while tanjiro gets all the character development. Just let her have a personality sheesh.

[olderthannetfic]

I think the discussion about if loli guys are into actual children misses the point tbh. Even when they’re well aware that it’s not actual children and they don’t WANT it to be and they’re specifically into the non-realism of it…. A lot of loli (and moe, which is not unrelated since it’s rooted in the aesthetics of it but applied outside the specific genre) in anime is still about this fantasy of women as helpless and innocent and needing to rely on you and, above all, not having real world problems. Granted, a lot of romantic fantasy is like that, arguably especially stuff about women aimed at men…. But I think that is what personally makes me not really want to deal with guys who are super into it that in my own personal life. Like, let’s not pretend that a certain kind of guy getting used to expecting women to be like that in anime and video games hasn’t had some real consequences for women in nerd culture who insist on being full human beings over like, the past decade and a half lol. Like it’s just hard to imagine that being the fantasy of a guy who specifically wants a take-charge, dominant, independent kind of woman over like…. Idk, lady villains stepping on his face or something, lol

I’m hardcore anti-censorship and don’t believe that preferences in romantic or sexual fantasy in fiction has an exact relationship to what we want in real life…. But it seems strange and anti-intellectual to argue that media *never* has that influence. Like, just divorce this from arguments about porn and “problematic shipping” for a second. There are a ton of people, of multiple genders but especially over age 20 or so they’re more likely to be men, who seem to think that if they’re friendly enough to someone of their preferred gender (or really, opposite gender, since this is based on an “everyone of my preferred gender is a potential partner” norm that people into the same gender just can’t assume) they’ll eventually reciprocate their feelings, or they *should*. The Nice Guy thing. Do you really think that the numerous romantic comedies that have that as a dynamic, or the video games whose “romance” mechanic is “give them gifts and talk to them enough and they’ll eventually be a love interest possibility,” doesn’t play into that at least somewhat? Like, we’re all smart enough to know that Stardew Valley and Harvest Moon aren’t like real life romance, I think…. But did you know that yet when you were 13? Do you think *everybody* who plays those knows that?

Take it out of the context of romance at all. If you’re a lawyer, how many times have you heard people who have misconceptions about what you do based on legal dramas? Or for doctors, about medical dramas?

And that doesn’t put any responsibility on the creators to change stuff (I mean, the “reward = romance” thing is just a very easy video game mechanic for instance, and programming in something that more closely resembles actual romance would be impossible, and it’s not like it’s any less realistic than like, how you fish or mine or farm in those games), it’s still on consumers to think critically (again, that the video game that has you fighting slime monsters in mines or where you grow broccoli in just a few days and harvesting crops is just one click isn’t going for realism perhaps. People wring their hands about the general popularity of farming games like it’s yearning for some political/cultural thing, and forget that the specific fantasy is it without all the toil. Just like plenty of people love playing restaurant games who work(ed) in restaurants irl and hate(d) it). But like, we talk about “society” influencing people in terms of stuff like racism and sexism. Mass media is part of society. This is why a lot of feminist criticism over the years has focused on critiquing broad patterns that recur in media, to the point that they become societal trends — and a lot of people take this in *unconsciously*.

I think what that one earlier anon meant with “especially with porn” is that porn shouldn’t be like, an exception to this. It’s kind of weird how people who are all for media analysis of problematic patterns in other kinds of media think it suddenly doesn’t apply if it’s media designed for the purpose of getting off. And sure plenty of us are into things in porn we have no desire for IRL (I love mpreg and I love kidfic, I have less than zero desire to have kids and especially be pregnant irl, to the point that it’s actually a squick for me in *het* fic), plenty of people are into specifically the fantasy version minus the Issues they have with that stuff in the IRL version. But… that’s not everyone. Some people’s porn preferences do match up with what they’re into irl. Even when they don’t, as with the loli example there’s often some other particular reason they like that

I don’t think it’s right to go around asking strangers to go around explaining their porn preferences to you, but I think it’s fair to think about it yourself (in the interest of introspection if nothing else), and to critique broad patterns in fandom, same as we would for any other kind of media. Why is porn the special exception for which all the other rules about 101 media analysis don’t apply?

--

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Any thoughts on the casting for The Last of Us season 2?

Oh god. So many.

So, I actually have all of TLOU show related tags blocked - because just seeing mentions of the show gets me kind of ticked. I miss the strike era when production of the show was delayed indefinitely.

But as far as the casting - I think Dina's casting is alright. I was one of those people who was naively hoping that Cascina would actually get to play Dina in the show, but I knew realistically that was never actually gonna happen.

Abby's casting however - I genuinely think that Kaitlyn Denver is a horrible choice. Like they looked up all the people who absolutely cannot play Abby and then they picked her.

Someone said that she looks like young Ellie - and I think for a long time, she was a popular fancast for Ellie. And to me, she looks like she can maybe only play young Abby in flashbacks. So unless they're gonna completely surprise people and only have her playing young Abby and then have someone else playing the real main timeline version of Abby - it won't work.

If you guys know me, then you know that I am incredibly protective of Abby's character. And based on the complete bastardization that they did of Season 1/TLOU 1, I already knew that they were going to royally fuck up Abby's character in some way.

And yes, I am basing most of my opinions on the fact that she is small and thin and Abby is supposed to be muscled, but people don't understand how pivotal that aesthetic is as a part of Abby's characterization.

(And they were never going to find someone perfect unless they used 2 different actors - one for flashbacks and one for the main timeline - because Abby gets ripped over years but it is shown in one short story, and her model was made with 2 different people - one for the face and one for the body, so they could keep her face on a younger, thinner body in flashbacks.)

Abby being muscled is actually a pivotal thing - it means she is feared and respected among the WLF, it means that Lev and Yara immediately fall in and trust to follow her through the woods because they view her as a protector when they are vulnerable and alone. Her body is a tool that is useful to her - it makes her completely immune to Isaac's violence right up until the moment she looks him in the eyes and asks him not to shoot Lev, and even then, he is asking her to step away from Lev so that he doesn't have to kill his best solider.

Isaac was more willing to kill Owen - thinking of Owen as disposable - than he was willing to kill Abby. And I think that breach of our society's typical sexism (where a man is always a better fighter, Abby supersedes that) in their post apocalyptic world, is really, truly shown by Abby's large stature.

Not only that, but it makes her physical malnutrition and how much she has wasted away because of the Rattlers that much more shocking. (Which, if they were going to depict that, it would be easy to do so with a heavily muscled actor and then make them look shockingly thin with CGI and makeup - but that scene is one of the reasons why video games are sometimes a better format. It being 100% computer generated means no actors had to be harmed during those scenes.)

Also (I wish I had screenshots of the specific lines) - but Abby and Owen's breakup at the Aquarium is about her training (her urge to gain muscle in order to aid of her long term revenge mission toward Joel) - Owen is surprised when Abby says she can bench press 140 pounds, and therefore, she can easily lift him. And Owen is insulted that Abby wants to spend more time training than she does with him - he is upset that her trauma and her revenge has overtaken her life to the point where she doesn't want to goof off watching spotted seals, and instead - just wants to train more.

And this leads more into the dynamic of - Owen is a disposable pawn (who pretends to take a pacifist stance when he's really a coward) and Abby has to vouch for his life with Isaac because she is infinitely more valued in the organization.

There is just a lot of layers to it - and they're already fucking it up.

I am trying my hardest to ignore the fact that she show exists, but it's actively lowering the IQ of the fandom every single day, and now I am gonna have to take braindead Abby takes from people who have only seen the show, and I genuinely wish it had never been made in the first place.

[ribbuster]

hi i’m furious and terrified rn so i’m gonna rant 🤗 being educated on politics right now is so incredibly exhausting 💀 i don’t understand how voters have so many red flags against trump, and yet he still gets votes. america doesnt let felons vote, but theyre allowed to be in office? a sexual predator, no less. trump says so much disgusting and pathetic things about women, and he still is seen as a good man. i am a gay transgender man, and im so severely sick to my stomach thinking about what he could do to my future. i genuinely refuse to come out to anyone else before he’s out of office.

if you give a shit about religion, then lets talk about it. he has said TWICE that his power and overall existence is that of christ, along with having a trump bible. isnt that blasphemous? does the religious view of the person holding your rights really matter when so much is on the line here?

as for prices and our economy, do your research. trumps first term was under obamas economy, which is why it succeeded. bidens term was under trumps economy, which is why it failed. i understand immediately going to what the economy was at the time of the presidency, but that really is not how this works. trump tax is very real and very scary. kamala has promised the decrease of tax for the middle and low class and a tax increase for the upper class, while trump believes the opposite. hes wanting the upper class to pay less and the lower classes to pay more. you would know that if the economy was that important to you to the point where you do your research.

worried about immigration under harris? WRONG!!! harris promises an america in which immigrants are allowed in, all while keeping things level and keeping groups like the cartel out. immigration was so messy under trump because there was so many holes in his plans for it. we as americans need to recognize immigrants, all while making their native homes liveable. immigration effects both parties in many ways, so minimizing it to where the natives are happy with their birth place and dont have to come to america as a last resort should be our prime effort.

“what if its her time of the month?” harris is 60 years old, therefore, she does not get periods anymore. menopause usually starts between the ages of 45 and 55. assuming a woman of 60 years of age is still getting periods is just straight ignorance.

the only views against harris ive seen have all been faulty and rooted in racism and sexism. kamala harris is everything donald trump pretends he is: a friend to everyone, an educated leader, and a gentle hand to those who need it. before you decide to vote next time, do your research. you could be voting for the downfall of our home.

[darkfrog24]

A few weeks ago, I read Pamela Paul’s defense of JK Rowling in the New York Times. According to Paul, Rowling only said a few things about trans men and trans women, and they were very mild. With all this hate on J.K. Rowling for being anti-trans, I figured I should probably find out what she actually did. I found this article in Glamour.

JKR wrote a joking post in which she implies another post that says “people who menstruate” should have just said “women.”

JKR posted, “I don’t hate trans ppl and would march with them, but I think sex is real and has consequences.”

So far so not that bad. This is similar to what Paul said JKR said. But the Glamour article goes on to cite a post on her own website where we see Rowling’s views straight from the source.

Rowling says she’d been researching trans issues for a book, including taking notes on Twitter posts, and she accidentally hit “like” instead of just taking a screenshot on one of them. She doesn’t say what this Tweet said but does say that she was harassed after that, so I’m guessing it was transphobic.

Again on Twitter, she followed a then-dying lesbian who’d been (JKR’s words) a “a great believer in the importance of biological sex” and supporter of lesbian women’s right not to date “trans women with penises.”

She says TERFs shouldn’t be considered trans-exclusionary because “they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women.”

She cites stats on people detransitioning out of regret that strike me as probably inaccurate. I heard elsewhere that most people who detransition do it because of prejudice from the outside, not belief that their transition was wrong.

She cites parents claiming that whole peer groups of girls decide to transition at once. That strikes me as questionable.

She seems to think that girl-presenting young people transition to male roles because they want to “escape their womanhood” and the sexism it entails.

She acknowledges that transition is the right choice for many people, acknowledges the increased risks of violence they face, and says she knows and likes at least one trans woman and thinks of her as a woman.

She says that women and girls are in danger from policies that allow “any man who says he’s a woman” to enter bathrooms. It’s my understanding that men don’t pretend to be trans women to enter bathrooms to harass women.

Okay, so in this essay, she seems sincerely afraid for other women, but the thing she’s afraid of—predators pretending to be trans women—isn’t real, and it would be relatively easy for her to learn this. What I’m drawing from this piece is that 1) Rowling doesn’t think she’s anti-trans. 2) She is anti-trans access to women’s spaces. 3) She has a number of misconceptions about trans people, many of them harmful. 4) She claims to support trans people in terms of protection from violence.

Back to Glamour.

Rowling deleted a Tweet praising Stephen King right after King made a pro-trans post and blocked King.

Rowling claimed there were fake Tweets on Twitter attributed to her.

Rowling said gender affirming care was like conversion therapy and that doctors were pushing it on teens.

Rowling wrote a fictional book about a man who disguises himself as a woman to kill women, which matches her fear of men pretending to be trans women.

The article cites Tweets in which people send death threats and say nasty things to Rowling.

Here’s my take-away: Rowling’s not the cartoonish proud anti-trans Mel-Gibson-style ranter I was expecting. She’s someone who’s anti-trans but doesn’t think she is. Not everything she says about women and trans people is wrong, to the point where I can understand why she doesn’t understand how any of it is wrong. She has indeed been harassed and hounded online. This is consistent with posts I’ve seen claiming that Rowling went through a process similar to the one that turns teenaged male netgoers into incels and fascists. They say something somewhat offensive out of ignorance, then they’re met with hostility, and then they allow themselves to be driven away from facts and toward self-justification. The difference is that those boys are children who can be forgiven for not knowing better and Rowling is an adult.

If Rowling comes back from this, it’ll be by putting her money where her mouth is: She claims to feel solidarity with trans women because they’re at risk of domestic violence like she was. JKR could follow up on that by supporting legislation, advocacy groups, and other organizations that protect trans people from violence. However, even according to Paul, JKR has argued that trans women should not stay in the same domestic violence shelters as cis women.

In the United States in the 20th century, many whites voted for laws that said “separate but equal.” I can’t think of an example of even one who went to bat and demanded that Blacks be given equal facilities and resources as the law seemed to demand.

This does not address the concerns about Rowling and antisemitism.

[zevranunderstander]

the thing about terfs is. i get how a person can get radicalized like that and its not that i have sympathy for them but i have people in my family who were radicalized into being right-wing and there is the thing that you can never really convince them that they are wrong because the places they get their information from (other radicalized people) will only ever show them the bad stuff to a point where they dont really connect their hatred with reality anymore?

like. right wing people love to instill fear of immigrants and foreign people by recording and sharing moments in which some of these people got violent and acted up to scare the "normal" citizens into being paranoid that their country is being invaded by people who are violent and "ungrateful" and when observing a group of that size there will always be someone to complain about. there will be mentally ill people, traumatized people, people who just happen to be violent assholes, people whose actions are taken entirely out of context, etc. and this is spun into a story that ALL foreigners are like that. ALL immigrants are like that. and instead of these being the exception to the rule, the one or two immigrants that these people might personally know (and who are coincidentally really nice people) suddenly are the exception to that rule. but these people usually live in a way where they just. don't have any real contact with this group they hate outside of their echo chamber so they think everything else told about them, especially by less radicalizing media is a lie and propaganda to make you think they are actually "good and normal people" and that's fucked up, but ultimately also shows how many of these people lack a basic level of empathy for other human beings

and terfs are also like that. if you go on their blogs and read their posts youll realize very soon that the problem isn't only that they hate trans people. i think their hate for trans people is a symptom stemming from the fact that they truly truly truly hate men, to a point of ALWAYS dehumanizing them when they speak about them, calling them weird terms to further dehumanize them ('moids' and 'males' mostly). i recently reblogged a post by an ex-terf where she said something like 'terfs truly do not think men are human beings, you can only hate a group so long before you can't see them as human anymore' and if you check these people's blogs, they have the same echo chambers as the alt-right: videos of sexist men, videos of men acting violent, videos of men being horrible people, and for terfs this is the true 'male nature' - ALL men are secretly like this. ALL men hate women and want to kill and rape them.

that's why they hate trans women. because to them this isn't a gender binary, it's a group of innocent, oppressed victims and a group of violent non-human monsters. and the thought that one of these monsters would want to hide among them (im so sorry for the gross comparison) as a wolf in sheeps clothing, only pretending to be on their side to hurt them when they are letting down their guard around other women.

and that is why they don't have the same disdain for trans men, per se. they have created this echo chamber that makes them believe men are all violent and sexist and opportunistic. and like with the example of immigrants earlier it's hard to convince them otherwise. even more than in the example because toxic masculinity and the patriarchy has created tons and tons of men who are either violent, or horribly sexist. there have been centuries of female opression side and if you know where to look, it's pretty easy to find a video of andrew tate or some tradcath male youtuber for them to share in their echo chamber.

yes, toxic masculinity, sexism, etc. those are all actual issues that we have in our society, but convincing ourselves that every man is like that is so delusional and unhelpful and shows such a lack of human empathy? it's hard to argue with them because to them, men don't need any empathy ever because they hold more power in society. terfs even inflate how much more power men hold because they don't really wanna fight for equal rights, they want to be the victims. they looove saying that women are weaker, women are biologically less capable of x and biologically less intelligent than men or whatever shit, just so they can victimize themselves even further. they love arguing over posts that say something sexist and i swear i dont know how often i saw that on a terf's blog, they LOVE to pick fights with the trads on this site. they don't WANT to block the negativity, they want to wail over how oppressed they are and how cruel and hateful all men are.

and i think on this site we all have this view of terfs being exclusively against trans women, but the thing that is at the core of their beliefs is their hate for men. i think for some terfs it might be the reverse of 'they were already transphobic and then fell into a rethoric that backed their beliefs by introducing them to gender essentialism'. for other women it could also be having a particularly bad expierience with a man - living with an abusive father, being sexually assaulted and I sympathize with women who hold a grudge against the patriarchy for allowing men to take advantage of them like that, but projecting this image onto every man you ever meet is so insane and delusional. it's normal to have trust issues after having a bad expierience with ANY group of people, but it's not normal to ignore working on that and trying to get better and instead blame men for all moral failings of society and your personal life.

terfs love to hold up a woman's "innate empathy and intuition", but they do not, in fact, have actual empathy and have conditioned themselves to think all men are violent zombies who only crave power, success and to hurt and kill women.

[ultramaga]

Leftists either lie about "left-wing policies", or they don't understand what "left" means other than "good", and they have no clue what "right" is other than "evil".

Stalin and Hitler might represent Left and Right, or you can say they are both "Left", but they are nothing like what Leftists claim "left wing" represents. "Right wing populism preys on people’s fears and stokes pre-existing anxieties, while also providing an individual “strongman” that people can look to for resolution." This describes every communist dictator ever. A Leftist is someone who either pretends Stalin never existed, or that he was somehow not involved with "left wing politics". The real struggle is between the poles of anarchy and totalitarianism. I think that the "left" is really just totalitarianism now. I frequently hear the Leftists arguing against every civil liberty that the "left wing" ever fought FOR. They want racism, they want sexism, they want a newspeak dictionary where those things are GOOD WHEN THEY DO IT.... They want power and control, and would fit in perfectly with either Hitler or Stalin, and I think it is very telling that Leftists have recently become fanatically antisemitic, to the point of calling for the extinction of Israel, and the mass importation of antisemitic cultists into every other country. Hitler or Stalin, Left or Right - this is the difference of Coke and Pepsi. It's branding. What every human should choose instead is Freedom or Tyranny - and evaluate every Party and Politician by what they are really promoting. Because if you think someone like Starmer will represent Freedom when all he does is take freedoms away ...

Reality is going to be a real shock to you when he turns around after the election and starts acting exactly like the "Right Wing" bogeyman in your head. "Why is nationalism outmatching globalism across the Globe?"

That's the real question, and the answer is because Leftists like Dan Slott have been erasing Westerners wherever they could find them, and then Leftists started eradicating even historical figures, hoping to kill our cultures by poisoning their roots, to the point of declaring Egyptians and Israelis "colonisers", a term they used to reserve for the hated whitey. Netflix Cleopatra tried to erase the Egyptians from existence, to the point where they challenged them in court. Leftists started off just hating European ethnic groups, but that hate spreads and spreads, and the only group exempt seems to be the African Americans - and of course, Leftists decide who can be one of those. Kamala Harris is suddenly black, you bigots, and only a Natzeee would question her blaccent or her long history of forced labor from black men and boys, and her love of cannabis even as she chose to prosecute black people for using it.

Know people for what they do, not what they say. What do Leftists truly stand for? Sexism against males, yes, but look at women's sports - women no longer have a space to compete in. And Racism? You will never find a more racist scum than the antiracists. And they are being exposed for it.

Why are conservative movements exploding across the globe? Because crime rates are exploding across the globe. Because I used to be able to walk around the streets at night, and now read about stabbings daily. Because people everywhere are sick of being told that they don't exist, that they never existed, and they deserve to die.

Why is right-wing populism outmatching left-wing populism across the Globe?

It’s so much easier to make people feel afraid than it is to make them feel hopeful or safe or supported. Right wing populism preys on people’s fears and stokes pre-existing anxieties, while also providing an individual “strongman” that people can look to for resolution. Simple and effective.

If we look at left-wing policies or general ideological talking points, they require both:

an inherent empathy/sympathy for strangers and community alike

a strong persistence to work against pre-existing institutions/structures to achieve that which isn’t often simple

It requires more effort, more funding, and occasionally can’t be simplified into layman’s terms, which ostracizes those who can’t reach higher education. This, above all else, is what makes right-wing populist rhetoric so effective - it’s approachable. It doesn’t ask you to care for others (quite the opposite) outside of your own interests. It’s comforting to have a powerful leader who “isn’t afraid to speak the truth” or “tell it like it is”, when the preceding leaders have all spoken outside your comprehension and made you feel isolated from your country in their education, class, and/or status.

Really, right-wing populism is in vogue because it’s so much easier to understand and so much easier to exercise. It doesn’t ask for much - it certainly doesn’t ask for us to follow rules or facts. It’s chameleon, and its rhetoric shapes to what would reach the most people regardless of how plausible, reasonable, or respectable it is.

[therealvinelle]

I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I'm just curious (still learning) at what point after 1100 AD would Joe and Nicky been in actual danger due to homophobia? At what point would they have to start lying to people about the nature of their amazing relationship, just to stay safe? Thanks!

(This is in reference to this post, in which I skimmed over like 900 years of sociological changes in identity formation in very very broad strokes.)

So. Here’s the thing. As “western” queer people in the modern world, I think we highly associate safety with being able to be out of the closet. Can I kiss my partner in public or walk down the street holding hands without fear of encountering hate speech or physical violence? Can I tell my friends, family and coworkers about my relationship without fear of social ostracization or economic consequences?

But that’s a very modern perspective. Between “pride parade!!” and “we will definitely be murdered if anyone finds out we are lovers,” there is...A LOT of space for different kinds of historical queer experience.

So it’s not so much that Yusuf and Nicolò could be safely “out of the closet” in 12th century Baghdad but not in 19th century London. It’s not quite as far from that as you might think. But they wouldn’t have thought about it that way.

In the first few hundred years of their existence, the Islamic world was...full of contradictions when it came to homosexuality. You had a strong taboo against adult men being the receptive partner in penetrative sex, but you also had poets--like, the most famous poets of their times--writing tons of homoerotic poetry about desiring young men and boys, and that was normal and even celebrated. (If you’re familiar with the sexual mores of ancient Greece...lots of similarities here.) You had clerics writing about how there should be harsh punishments for “sodomy,” but in practice in everyday life very, very few people were ever actually disciplined in the legal system for something like that. And other forms of sexual activity between men, like kissing and various forms of non-penetrative sex, were just...not a big deal. At the same time there was kind of an unspoken “don’t ask, don’t tell” social contract around sex between men. Like, we know this thing is definitely happening, and we’re not going to talk about it, and that’s what makes it socially acceptable to continue happening. So you can have a society that in the written, religious record looks fairly intolerant toward sex between men; in practice is actually quite tolerant; where everyone sort of knows things about certain people, but where no one is really “out” in the modern sense of the terms.

At the same time, pretty much everywhere in the world at this time but definitely in the Middle East, casual touch between men was much more normalized. Two men holding hands or linking arms when walking down the street, sitting pressed up next to each other, falling asleep with your head on your male companion’s shoulder...a whole range of things that look decidedly snuggly to our modern gaze would have been totally acceptable between friends of the same gender, and would not have been considered sexual in any way. (This is still true in much of the Middle East today.)

So you can easily imagine a scenario where, like, Nicolò is lounging with his head on Yusuf’s shoulder, eating dates and listening to some saucy Abu Nuwas poem being recited, and then they go back to their private quarters and they have as much sex as they want. Are they “out”? Not really. Is anyone bothering them about how they’re living their lives? Not in the slightest. Do some people in that room see them and know? Probably, but that’s their private business and we’re not gonna talk about it. Frankly that sounds like a pretty sweet existence for a 12th century queer.

To be fair, they have a few advantages. They’re men, which means no one will really question them traveling together, without wives or families. They can easily say they’re friends or business partners and no one will really give it a second thought. I’m sure having to break off contact with their families was sad, but it’s also the case that there’s no one around asking when they’re going to get married to a woman and have children so we have someone to inherit the family business. It gives them a kind of freedom that a lot of other queer people around them wouldn’t have had.

I think once they meet up with Andy and Quynh, they do do things like pretending to be two married couples traveling together. But that’s more because of sexism, because two unmarried women traveling with two men who were not their husbands would turn some heads.

In Europe at the time, Christian theology is pretty not-into all kinds of non-procreative sex, but sex between men is not necessarily viewed as a worse sin than, say, masturbation, or sex between men and women out of wedlock. And it’s like, a category of sin that a lot of people are doing all the time, so if you were to confess such a thing to your local priest, you would be told to do penance but the consequences would be fairly mild. And many of the same things regarding casual touch hold true. Various rituals of kissing, including men kissing men on the mouth, are used as greetings, to seal contracts, and as part of mass.

Medieval Europe also had a concept variously called passionate, romantic, or chivalric friendship--close relationships between two people of the same gender that could be long-lasting, physically affectionate, emotionally intense in a way we would today read as romantic, and (allegedly) celibate. Were some of these passionate friendships actually queer relationships with a sexual component that just wasn’t talked about? Probably. Were some of them what we would define as queerplatonic or homoromantic asexual relationships today? Probably. Is it even useful to try to stuff these experiences into modern relationship categories? Debatable. The point is...the borders between what was defined as friendship, romance and love were different. Two men who traveled together, slept in the same bed, shared resources, were emotionally intimate with each other, and otherwise entwined their lives would not necessarily have been assumed to be sex partners in medieval Europe. And (I think this is the important part) Yusuf and Nicolò would not necessarily have seen being perceived as passionate friends as “hiding” the true nature of their relationship or as assigning some lesser value to it.

In terms of how they are perceived in public, I think things really don’t start to change until the early 20th century. It’s a gradual process, but over the first half of the 20th century, more or less, affectionate touch between men becomes defined as “gay” and a mainstream (straight) masculinity that is concerned with defining itself as “not gay” emerges. Affectionate touch, and then any show of loving emotion between men, gradually becomes less and less acceptable, to a degree that probably seems absurd to two 900-year-old Mediterraneans. (The absurdity is really well-expressed in the van scene, which is literally like “Bro is it gay to [checks notes]...express concern about the well-being of the person you were just violently kidnapped with?”)

Like, on the one hand, you have queer people talking openly about their sexuality in ways that were not an option at earlier times in their lives. But at the same time you have to be careful holding hands walking down the high street now because someone might chuck an empty beer bottle at you. Must’ve been a real wild transition for them.

[pascalpanic]

ok can i request a din djarin x reader where the reader is a badass but usually seduces her bounties to capture them, and din is both jealous and confused (bc she could kick anyone’s ass) and she whips out the line “don’t work for misogyny, make misogyny work for you” thank you so so much

Atin’la (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Being a female bounty hunter is a pain in the ass. When you meet a Mandalorian man and begin traveling with him, you meet seemingly the only man in the bounty hunting trade that respects women. Too bad he’s a hopeless romantic too.

W/C: 4k

Warnings: language, alcohol, misogyny, threats of violence, mentions of weapons, Din doesn’t know how to emotion. rude terms to address a female (whore, bitch, etc.)

A/N: I had so much fun working on this request you guys! Fic requests are definitely open if inspiration strikes any of y’all. The bounty they capture in the later part is a Zabrak! I did some research into different humanoid species, and for reference, Zabraks are the species with a ring of horns on their head; the most notable one is Darth Maul. I linked the wookiepedia page here so you can get a feel for what they look like if you aren’t familiar with the species. 

atin’la- tough

Being a bounty hunter and a woman is much harder than being one or the other.

Sexism runs rampant in circles dominated by men, and bounty hunting was certainly one of those circles. Finding a man impartial to women was the best you could get in hopes of employment, a man who actually gave a shit about the women was a dream. 

Luckily, you’d happened across a man who seemed to see directly past gender. A man who you weren’t even sure was a human, covered in beskar and refusing to even tell you his name. He asked you to call him Mando, and that was that.

You’d happened upon the man during a bounty hunt. You were an independent contractor, working for yourself. You’d pick up pucks from slain hunters, more often than not, or you’d run a spare job for Karga or his rivals. Money was the number one concern for you, over loyalty to a certain guild or a certain code.

The hunt was going somewhat easily. It all changed when you looked down and found a tiny green being sipping soup. It smiled cutely at you with tiny white teeth and you abandoned your mission for a moment to give the little thing a scratch on its head. He seemed to appreciate that, leaning into your touch and slipping his wide brown eyes closed.

The being’s father didn’t like that. You looked up to find a beskar-clad, broad-shouldered man pointing a pulse rifle at you. “Step away from the child.”

“Relax,” you said quickly, putting your hands in the air. “I’m not here for him.”

“How do I know that?” The modulated voice growled at you. 

“I’m an independent bounty hunter. Let me show you.” You grabbed a puck and tossed it to the man, who skillfully caught it while balancing his pulse rifle, aiming it directly at your heart. The man- well, you assumed it was a man- pressed the button, illuminating the dark alley with a holographic image of a mythrol. “See? It was registered to Jido Korden. He’s dead now. I stole the puck from his body.”

The black slit in the helmet looked from the puck back up at you. “You’re not Guild?”

“No,” you laughed. “Why bother working for one side when you can keep your opportunities open?” You asked, a smirk on your face. 

He shook his head. “I was assigned to this mythrol too.”

“That’s too damn bad, Mandalorian,” you shrugged and walked closer, snatching the puck back from his palm. “Unless you want to work together,” you snorted as you pocketed the little round piece, turning off the hologram. You looked down at the kid again. “Nice meeting you, squirt,” you hummed to the kid and scratched its head before turning to walk away. 

“Independent, huh?” The Mandalorian asked, lowering his pulse rifle.

You stopped in your tracks. “Yeah. What about it?”

“You have skills. I’ve seen your image before.”

“Better not have been on a bounty puck.” You crossed your arms and turned around. “Where is this going?”

“I… am in need of crewmates. This kid is a kriffing handful, and I can’t keep watching him and running bounties. It’s just not working out.”

“That sucks,” you shrugged. “Is this an offer?” He stared at you for a second, unreadable. His visor stared directly into your face. “Yes. Come work with me. We’ll take turns running bounties and staying on my ship with the kid.”

“Oh, you have a ship,” you raised an eyebrow as you looked up and down his body. “I’m not a working girl, you do know that?”

“Of course I know that,” the man said, annoyance evident in his modulated tone. “This is not a… partnership of that kind.”

You bit your lip and tilted your head as you looked at the man, the child, and back to the man. “50/50 split of payment.”

“60/40.”

“Don’t make me negotiate a higher rate,” you chuckled. “50/50.”

“Fine.”

You smiled. “Looks like you’ve got a partner, Mandalorian,” you said, hands on your waist. You walked closer and offered him a hand. He took it and you shook on the deal. You introduced yourself and he nodded. “What’s your name?” You asked.

“You can call me Mando.”

-

That was how your partnership with Mando began. Now, you’ve worked together for a few weeks. His missions tend to run longer than yours, taking upwards of a week. That leaves you on the ship with the child more, but it’s nice. It’s almost fun to pretend domesticity when the Mandalorian man is gone, playing with the child.

Green bean, baby boy, cutie, kiddo, nugget. The kid had many names under your care. You wonder if Mando ever calls him sweet names when you’re the one gone. You hum to the child and put him in his little knit hammock, hanging above the technically-shared bunk. It’s not really yours or Mando’s. One of you sleeps in it when the other is on the mission. One side has a small shelf with some of your belongings- your glasses, wax for chapped lips, a durasteel flask for water. The other is bare. That’s Mando’s side. 

The child is asleep, and you’re curled up against the back wall of the bunk, reading something on a holopad. Your home planet has a newsfeed you can stream, and you smile softly as you scroll through it. You take a sip of water from the metal flask and hear the child stirring. He wants to be near you, you can tell, as he reaches out a tiny three-fingered hand toward you. 

Shaking your head, you chuckle. “Alright, bud. Come here,” you allow, and the child jumps from his hammock onto your stomach, causing you to make a soft oof as he lands on you. The child giggles and crawls up your body, cuddling in against your chest. You set down the holopad and stroke the child’s big ears. He makes a little coo of happiness, snuggling in and closing his eyes. As much as you’d tried to get the child to sleep in his hammock, every night was like this. He wanted to be held and sung to and kissed between his big eyes. He was a baby, you suppose. You wonder if Mando indulges the child by doing this when it’s just him and the child.

As you close your eyes, you find yourself thinking about the Mandalorian. You liked him, you had to admit, making you smile placidly at the backs of your eyelids. He had a dry sense of humor. He was good to you. He’d indulge in conversation with you between the times one of you would go out on a hunt. He’d listen to you talk and comment along on your stories. He was good at domestics, you’d notice when you came back from your turn hunting. He’d wash and fold the child’s brown robes and his own capes, would polish his weapons and sometimes you could even smell remnants of cooking in the hull of the ship. 

Yes, you have to admit, you like Mando. He’s a good man. He treats you and his little green son well. In response to his kindness, you do what you can for him. You get treats at the marketplace with the child and leave them on his pilot’s seat for him to find. You polish his beskar for him at night when he sleeps, in just a helmet and his flight suit, up in the cockpit whenever the two of you are both aboard the ship. You write him notes of thanks and tuck them around the ship for him to find.

You fall asleep thinking about the man, the enigma shrouded in beskar and dark clothing, while you held the child close to your chest.

-

Mando likes you too. He smiles when he finds a note from you tucked in his pack he carries on missions. He snacks on the candies that you get for him, and even shares them with the child. He falls asleep in the same bunk, thinking about you, the child nestled alongside him. 

When he’s on a hunt, he thinks about you and the child constantly. He wonders if you ever think about him the way he thinks about you. He wonders if you consider him a friend. He views you as one. He pictures the way your eyes twinkle when you and the child get into mischief. He thinks about the way you laugh at his dry humor, the way you send a snarky comment right back at him. The way you’re good to him. The way he secretly yearns for you, for your touch, for your lips and your arms around him. 

Now, as he’s dragging a knocked-out twi’lek back to the ship, he hopes you’re asleep. He hopes he can catch a glimpse of how relaxed you look when you sleep, the way your nose twitches when you’re dreaming and you press kisses to the child’s head in moments of half-consciousness. He hopes he doesn’t wake you as he lowers the Crest’s ramp and walks up, quietly as he possibly can. The carbonite freezer is loud, and it wakes you. “Mando?” You call as you hear it, sitting up.

“Just me, cyar’ika.” 

You don’t know what the word means, but Mando loves to address you by the title. It probably means bitch or snarky one or sassy, you sometimes think. “How did it go?” You ask as you hear the heavy footsteps of the man come to the end of bunk. 

“Easily. He was hard to find but easy to take down.”

“The best kind. More time away from me,” you tease, rubbing your eyes and looking at the hulking man, the red and blue lights from various appliances just barely illuminating his shape. 

“You like it that way, I’m sure,” he teases back, sitting on the end of the bed and stripping off the beskar, setting it on the floor with a clunk. 

“Actually…” you trail off, smiling a little. “I was thinking we could do the next hunt together. I’d like to see your style. My next one is on Tatooine, we could leave the child with Peli. She adores him.”

He turns to look at you. It’s unbearably domestic, your hair messy and your shoulders bare in your sleeping camisole and soft legs visible with the shorts you wear, your glasses slipping down your nose. It’s hard to believe you’re a bounty hunter in this moment, he thinks to himself. You look so delicate and warm and soft. The opposite of him, rough and rude and harsh. “Who’s Peli?” he asks after a moment.

“Mando!” You laugh and smack his bare arm. “The lady with the wild hair. She runs the hangar?”

“That’s her name?”

“Yes, you bantha,” you grin and shake your head. “Her name is Peli. I cannot believe you.”

The child awakens at the noise and makes a noise of excitement as he sees Mando. “Hey, kid,” the Mandalorian chuckles and picks up the child, setting him on his lap. The child hugs him and Mando gives a soft laugh as he hugs him back, lightly. 

“Go back to sleep, cyare. I’ll pilot us to Tatooine and you can finally show me how terrible you are at bounty hunting.” He pats your calf softly, with an ungloved hand, and you do your best not to shiver at the touch of his strong hands on your bare skin. 

“You get some rest too,” you tell him with a soft smile, placing your hand on top of his. Your fingers are so much smaller than his, so much more delicate, and you trace the tips along the back of his hand. He nods and stands, setting the child back down next to your side. You lie back down and cuddle the child into your chest, trying not to think about how strong and warm his hand felt on your skin.

-

Once you arrive on Tatooine, you suit up. Your hair is slicked back to the best of your abilities, and your glasses are replaced with contacts. You pull on your skin-tight black tank top and black cargo pants, strapping your holster belt around your waist, slinging your ammunition belt over your shoulder, where it rests between your breasts. You strap one blade to your thigh and another to your upper arm, and pull on your trusted combat boots. You’re ready. “You can come down,” you shout up to Mando, who’s been patiently waiting in the cockpit for you to get changed. 

The man climbs down the ladder in his full beskar. Tatooine is a hot planet, so he’s omitted the cape for this mission. You can see a peek of skin when he moves his head, showing a little bit of tanned skin, and it makes you bite your lip and turn away. “You ready?” You ask him as you sling his backup pulse rifle- which you’ve claimed as yours now- over your shoulder.

He nods. “Looks like you are too.” The child has already been left with Peli, so everything is set. He walks closer to you and removes one of his metal vambraces, strapping it to your arm. It looks odd against your bare skin, only ever having seen it against the dark material of Mando’s flight suits or duraweave shirts. “This button,” he says and points to a triangular button, “is the comm in case we get separated.”

“You’re gonna be the one needing it,” you tease, pressing the button on his other vambrace. It makes a screeching feedback sound from being so close to the other receiver and you wince before pressing it again to turn it off.

“Sure I will,” he chuckles. 

“Show me the puck one more time?” You ask, looking up into the black T of his helmet. He nods and pulls it out, pressing the hologram. It’s a male Zabrak with a name listed beneath: Gar Thalcyon. Crimes: Bail Jumping, Resisting Arrest, Grand Theft X-Wing. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Men are easy,” you chuckle and take the puck, putting it in a pocket of your cargo pants. “Let’s go.” You walk out of the ship, leading Mando along.

You walk through the crowded marketplace of Tatooine, the Mandalorian man trailing behind you. Your head is held high. You don’t necessarily fit in; many Tatooinians wear robes and hoods to hide from the sun, but you obviously didn’t bother. The Mandalorian behind you most definitely doesn’t belong, attracting stares, but he doesn’t mind either. He’s used to it. 

Mos Eisley is, unfortunately, a dead end, you two discover after a day of searching. The bounty puck never indicates that you’re in the right location. Both you and Mando decide to get dinner at a cantina in town before you move on tomorrow. That’s what led the two of you to where you are: sitting in a more secluded booth, watching the cantina’s patrons get drunker by the minute. 

You’re sipping a bright pink cocktail, and Mando watches the world around the two of you, sneaking glances through his visor at you. “Isn’t this a little irresponsible for a mission?” You chuckle, swirling the skewer of fresh berries sitting in the glass in front of you. 

“He’s not around here. We’re not on mission time now,” he shrugs. 

“Oh, so is this like a date?” You tease with a smile. 

Mando freezes for a second. You hope you haven’t offended him somehow, but he tilts his head as he watches you. “Do you want it to be one?”

You bite your lip and swirl your drink faster. “I don’t know. It’s a little impractical for coworkers, for co-bounty hunters, is it not?” You chuckle, but there’s no humor in your voice as your throat goes dry. 

“It would be,” he nods in agreement. “But our job is only a contract between us. One that can be amended.”

You have a shy smile as you look up at him. “Do you want it to be one, Mando?” You ask. 

He’s silent for a moment. You mentally curse the beskar for hiding his expressions from you. 

“I do,” he finally acknowledges. 

The smile on your face breaks into a grin. “Then I guess we’re on our first date,” you laugh, sipping your neon-colored drink with a smile you can’t get off your face. “I suppose if we’re dating, I should know your name,” you ask him. 

It’s the first time you’ve pushed. You’ve never asked him to take off his helmet, never asked why he didn’t. You’ve been kind and caring and patient and damn, he wants to tell you so bad, but his eyes drift to the side and he sees a Zabrak walk in, and he immediately recognizes him as your target. 

Mando nods to the side. “Take him down and I’ll tell you.”

You look where he nodded and frown. “So much for a date,” you pout and look back at Mando. Sighing, you pick up your drink and stand. “Just know that I only have feelings for you, okay?” You ask, a hand on his shoulder as you walk to his side. 

“...Okay,” he nods, and you walk off, an extra sway in your hips. You may be wearing cargo pants, but your tight top and cinched belt accentuate your body. You’re gorgeous, Mando has to admit. 

The man sits at the bar and you pull up a stool next to him, smiling a little and sipping at your brightly colored drink. “Hey there.”

The man’s eyes look you up and down, and he licks his lips with an odd colored tongue. “Hey yourself. What’s your name, pretty thing?” He asks with hungry eyes. 

You need a cover name and you need it quick. “Manda,” you blurt with a smile, trying to hold back a laugh at the fact that you literally picked your date’s name- well, the one you know him by- but slightly augmented.

You rest your hand on the bar and the man picks up your hand, kissing your knuckles. “You can call me Gar.”

“Hello, Gar,” you giggle and bat your eyes at him. “What’s a man like yourself doing on Tatooine, hm?” You ask him, swirling your drink and sipping it as you look at him with doe eyes. 

He shrugs and looks forward, signaling the bartender for a drink. “I’m a wanted man, my dear,” he says with a salacious smile. 

He sure fucking is, you think to yourself, and you can’t help but snort. Maker, men are ridiculously easy targets. Your plays into your theme, at least. “Oh, and for what?” You ask, leaning in closer. You sneak a sedative dart from a pocket of your pants, holding it in the hand beneath the bar. 

“Stole an x-wing right off a Resistance base,” he chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” You giggle, eyes wide. “How did you do that?”

He’s about to launch into a spiel when you stab the tranquilizer dart into the back of his hand. “Actually, don’t bother. I already know,” you chuckle, face close to his. He makes a noise of agony and surprise at the needle in his hand, and his body starts slumping. “Never lead by saying you’re a criminal,” you murmur next to his ear and stand, wrapping one of his arms around you and forcing him to walk along with you. 

“You’re a wanted man alright,” you chuckle as you walk out of the bar. You press the button on your comm. “Headed to the Crest. Cover our tab?” You ask into the vambrace. 

There’s a beat of silence. “Already on it, cyare,” the Mandalorian’s voice speaks through the beskar plate on your forearm. “How did you-

“Don’t work with misogyny, make misogyny work for you,” you grunt into the metal and drop your arm. 

The man groans as you drag him along. He looks drunk to anyone else, just barely coherent. “Fuckin’ bitch. Mandalorian’s little whore, huh?” he slurs at you, weakly trying to wrestle free of your grip but failing.

You push him into a nearby wall, twisting his arm at an impossible angle. “Try it again and I rip the horns from your head one by one,” you hiss into his ear.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he whimpers and you let him go, pulling him into the earlier position.

Peli’s hangar is only a short distance away. As you enter, the green toddler squeals in excitement and runs over to you. “Hey cutie,” you laugh as you see him. Peli isn’t far behind. “Go sit with Peli a little longer, let me get this guy in the ship, okay baby?” You tell him, and he obeys, waddling back to Peli, who gives you a little wave.

“Goddamn,” the Zabrak man groans. “That mando is green under there, then? How could you fuck something like that-”

“I can and will slit your throat right now and let you bleed out. You want your life?” You murmur, grabbing the blade from your thigh and holding it to his neck. He nods frantically. “Then shut the fuck up,” you grunt to him and haul him up the ramp, into the carbonite freezer. He begs and pleads until the hiss of the freezer begins and the man is sealed. “Thank the fucking Maker,” you groan as the words stop. 

You climb back down the ramp to find Mando already holding the child and paying Peli. He thanks her one last time and you take the baby from Mando’s arms. “Were you flirting with him?” He asks, wasting no time. His tone is deadpan.

“Clearly.”

“Why the hell-”

“I wasn’t doing it for fun,” you grimace at him. “This is my fucking method. It’s much fucking easier, and if I have the advantage I might a well take it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“That’s too fucking bad, Mando,” you practically spit, whipping around and walking deeper into the ship with the baby in your arms. “It’s my-”

“Din.” 

You turn around and look at him. “I’m sorry, what?” you ask, clearly annoyed. 

“My name is Din. Din Djarin.”

The anger fades from your body quickly. “Din,” you say back to him, slowly. 

He nods. “I… just got jealous, I suppose. I’m sorry.”

You finally offer a small smile, albeit a tired one. “Thank you. I don’t like doing it either but… it’s my way,” you shrug. 

He walks closer, putting a hand on each of your arms. “I get it.”

You smile softly and put one hand over his beskar-clad chest. “I told you, I only have feelings for you,” you tell him.

He nods softly. “I’m glad. I like it that way.”

Chuckling, you shake your head. “Well, Din. I suppose we could finish our date in here. I could cook something.” You look down at the little green child in your arms. “With him, maybe it’ll be more of a family night.”

Din cups your face in a leather-gloved hand. “Thank you, cyare,” he murmurs, thumb tracing over your cheek.

“What does that mean?” You ask him, looking into where you think his eyes sit beneath the helmet.

He presses your forehead to his, the beskar cool against your warm skin from the Tatooine air. “Beloved,” he murmurs, his fingers tracing your cheekbones.

A small gasp escapes your lips before they form a smile. “Beloved,” you hum back as he wraps an arm around you. “I like being called that.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers

[dakotadawn]

Hello I was reading some of your posts and I saw you say "Essentially I analyze transphobia entirely as a construct of misogyny and keeping patriarchy intact, therefore men are the oppressors of trans people of both sexes" and I was wondering if youd be willing to elaborate on what transphobia looks like? Ive seen people say that it's just homophobia or something and Im certain that its not just that. I have difficulty picking out what's caused by toxic masculinity, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. probably because they coexist quite frequently. very very sorry if this is an ignorant question (also Im not sending this combatively or argumentatively i just genuinely want to know your thoughts). I was also wondering if you would be willing to tell me what "sock" means because that person kept calling you it and I cant find any answers online. thank you very much for your time if you choose to answer my questions :]

Of course I'll take the time to answer a question! For what transphobia looks like, I can't speak for transmen because I'm not one, but for transwomen, well, I think it is partly just hatred of GNC males, but it goes beyond that. I am often hesitant to use the term "transmisogyny" due to how it gets used to refer to women being transphobic/seeing transwomen as men, to which I do not believe it accurately applies, but where I think it *does* apply is to the status of transwomen in the sex trade, in pornography, how transwomen are treated at large by transphobic men, who will call us men to our faces but still objectify us, send us rape threats, masturbate to us in secret (*cough* Nick Fuentes *cough*), etc. Example: Brianna Wu being outed as a transwoman by GamerGaters, yet continuing to receive misogynistic insults and rape threats. In these situations, an intersection of transphobia and misogyny truly does apply in my opinion. I believe that a lot of society's hatred of transwomen is rooted in male supremacy, males are seen as so superior that when a male wants to become female, society can only think "insane, pervert, failure". Thus, I believe hatred of transwomen is rooted primarily in male supremacy, males are seen as superior to the point that a male's desire to be female is seen as deeply pathological or disturbed.

The historical clinical focus on transwomen and glossing over transmen also shows patriarchal imbalances. 1. male-bodied people being focused on over female-bodied people, 2. a male's desire to become female is hyper-focused on, as that desire is seen as more pathological, while the reverse is seen as natural or logical. There has also been a disturbing history of sex reassignment procedures for transwomen being designed primarily for the appeal and pleasure to future male partners, and not for the transwoman herself. This would be an aspect of misogyny in the medical industry managing to effect trans people.

And a concluding statement: If the sexes were equal, then why would someone wanting to change their sex characteristics be such a big deal? It'd just be a personal body choice and there wouldn't be so much stigma around it, aside from the medical research that needs to go into determining the safety behind it. 🤷‍♀️

As for "sock", I assume "sockpuppet", she's accusing me of being a transphobic cis woman pretending to be a trans woman or something, which is funny given she's most certainly a trans woman pretending to be cis.

[lucky-catttt]

Maxwell Lord’s Aphrodite - Pt 2

Summary: When Maxwell Lord’s world comes crashing down, you, his personal assistant bring him back from the pits of despair.

Pairings: Maxwell Lord x Reader (female), Maxwell Lord x You

Rating: Mature 18+ ONLY, NO MINORS ALLOWED TO READ.

Word Count: 3,885

Warnings: Prepare to put a towel down or go touch some grass after, either or LOL Mention of genitals, oral sex, squirting, face fucking, choking, names, foreplay, degradation, aftercare, BDSM, sexism/sexual harrassment.

A/N: This is my first fan-fic, so the writing might not be fantastic, but if you have any pointers/advice please tell me! I’ve also added images and gifs to help readers imagine the scenarios and reactions!

“So what kind of proposal were we thinking of that would save Black Gold corporation?” Max quizzes, leaning back against his chair. You pause to think while finishing your pastry. “Well” you begin “This space is huge, around 4,300 square feet. The lease Black Gold is renting this office floor has no major restrictions on it, so you could potentially sub-let the space on the floor for a monthly or fixed term lease to people who work remotely or teams that don’t want to commit to a larger office space. It's becoming more common because of the GFC, people can't commit to large long term leases for whole office floors anymore. You could also rent out the boardroom by the hour & also lease the private manager offices to businesses that want their own private room. And we already have a reception near the lifts, just re-hire them and make them pretend they work for all the businesses on the floor, answering their calls, doing admin work like scanning and faxing etc. As far as the business’s clients that show up are concerned, each business looks like they own the whole floor.

If we do a cost analysis and then get a small investor to cover the startup costs, we could guarantee them a return if businesses pay contract deposits or pay their lease in advance up front. Plus the landlord we owe money to. And with the top floor with amazing views and location, we can charge top dollar” Max stares at you in disbelief. “Wow, are you sure you don’t wanna be CEO?” He laughs, still in shock. You laugh, blushing. “I started working on a business proposal for one of my university assessments, if we customise it for this project we could pitch it to some investors and banks and speak to the landlord about it as well” You reply. “I could kiss you right now.” Maxwell sighs, gripping his fist. “Please do” you giggle, leaning towards him. Max reaches out both hands to cup your face, before planting a passionate kiss on your lips. “Well, I guess we have a lot of work to do!” Max yells, before striding towards the bathroom to take a shower. Two weeks go by and the proposal is ready. Max calls you from the company car, on the way to your house to pick you up before the big investors meeting. “I’ll be right outside your place in a few minutes my sweet” He coos, beaming with excitement to see you. As his car pulls up, you collect your compendium, presentation cards and your pointer rod. Struggling with all you have to carry, Alfred rushes out of the car and up the steps to the front door, collecting all of your belongings. 

Maxwell peers over the top of his shades but the sun from behind your house blinds him. He shuffles across the seat and opens the car door, the sun now hiding from his view. As he removes his shades and looks up the stairs towards your front door, he sees you standing there, fixing your outfit. He’s stunned. 

It might be 1984, but you’re wearing a stunning outfit pulled straight from the 50s. A black suit dress with a pleat in the front with a thin gold belt around your waist. You accented the look with strap Mary jane heels, a black and gold handbag and a neat beret fascinator. Your hair was curled, accentuated with bright red lipstick and a single set of pearl earrings.

Max looks like he’s about to drop to his knees in awe, but his knees bend into a lengthy stride up the stairs, rushing to your side. “A heavenly vision of beauty'' Max gasps, giving you a kiss on the cheek in an attempt to preserve your makeup. He puts out his arm and you wrap your hands around it, as he leads you down your stairs to the car, staring at you the whole time, letting the universe guide his steps as this absolute goddess graces his presence. You both slide into the back seat of Max’s company car, his large hand immediately passing along your back and resting on your hip and ass, pulling you as close to him as possible. “I dont know how this presentation is going to go, but I can be absolutely certain that myself and every other person in that room will be enraptured by your presence”. he murmurs into your neck, squeezing your ass.

Max was wearing a pinstripe royal blue suit with black laced oxfords. His matching tie and pocket square peeking out. “I would kiss you right now but i don't want to get lipstick on your face just before our meeting” you blush, rubbing your nose against his. “I know. We have all the time in the world after” Max replies, running his nose down your neck, breathing gently against your skin.

 “We should probably prepare for the meeting, Max” you chuckle, seeing the office building not far up the road. You pull out your compendium and flip to an architectural blueprint of the office floor. 

“I had this drawn up by an architectural drafter last week. As you can see the large blank space is your office and private room, you already have the glass frosted for privacy. All the other office cubicles will be converted to private offices, as well as boardrooms, co-working areas and remote working hot spots.” Max’s eyes widen with surprise at the level of detail. “How did you get this done? I certainly don't remember commissioning this'' rubbing his chin. “I paid for it” you respond, nonchalantly. “You spent your money, for me?” Max inquires, now in disbelief. “Of course. I told you I would help you, Max. Consider it an investment”. You wink, flipping through more pages of the presentation. Just when Max thought he couldn't fall more in love with you than he already has, your hard work and giving nature makes his heart swell even larger to make room. After a few minutes the car pulls up to the investor’s office building. “Before we go in there, I want to ask you something.” Your eyes widen with intrigue. “While we're there, I’m not sure how these businessmen will react to a woman being anything more than my personal assistant. I’m not intimidated by you at all, but I suspect some of them might be” He continues, his eyes falling to your lap as he holds your hands. “Max, this project is my dream, but it’s your company, so i’m giving it to you to present. You’re the only person I trust with this”. 

As Maxwell begins to get himself together, you take a seat adjacent to where Max is standing. Although your knees are together with one ankle behind the other, you can feel some of the businessmen closest to you looking you up and down like a piece of meat. You quickly turn to face Max, giving him your undivided attention. “Well, I know you’re all very busy, so lets get started” Max smiles, wringing his palms together. The businessmen listen intently to Max’s pitch for the restructure of Black Gold corporation, before they begin to ask questions on financials. You begin to notice the men losing interest and Max starting to lose his confidence. He looks at you, his expression half pleading and half embarrassed. Without any hesitation, you stand up from your chair, striding over to Max’s side, picking up the pointing rod from the easel and pulling it to full length with one swift pull. 

The men all sit upright at attention from the sound of the rod. “If I may, Maxwell” you butt in, politely. “Gentleman” You steady the pointer rod against the chart on the easel “the profit figures on the project are as follows; 36 external view offices, charged at $3,000 per month each, generating $108,000 gross profit. The 25 internal offices with no view will be $500 per month, generating $12,500. We also have hot-desks with memberships starting at $20 per month. If companies want us to answer their phones, do their mail, bring them coffee, do their shopping, take their dry-cleaning, walk their dogs or bring them lunch, that's an additional fee. Essentially, we are looking at a monthly profit turnover of $150,000+. Our current lease fee is $50,000 a month with about $15,000 in body corporate and utilities, leaving $85,000 per month net profit, $225 thousand per quarter and over a million annually. We currently are looking for a combined setup cost of around $500,000. The more you invest, the bigger your return.” You swing the pointer road and rest it on your shoulder. 

Silence fills the room and you panic. Your assertiveness may have turned them off, so you pretend to be ditzy and dip one of your feet inwards. The men who are all sitting up at attention, look between each other and nod. Your charm and business acumen seemed to have put them under some kind of spell. “Thanks for your time gentleman. If you have any questions please feel free to call” you finish, walking around to hand each of them Max’s business card. The men begin to chat amongst themselves, before one of them approaches Maxwell. They introduce themselves and begin chatting about the pitch “You should be very proud of your assistant Maxwell” they chuckle “she seems very switched on and driven”. Max shoots you a smiling glance, before turning back “Yeah, I’m actually going to make her the CFO” he responds. “Well, we’ll deliberate here and be back in touch with our offer”. The meeting finally wraps up and you both head back downstairs where Alfred is waiting with the car door already open. You both slide inside and Max wraps his arms around you before passionately kissing your lips as the car drives back to his office.

“You want to make me the.. CFO?” you pant, breaking from the kiss. “Yes” Max smiles, staring into your eyes. “You have worked so hard and today at the presentation..I know you’re the woman for the job. Do you want it?” You blush, holding his face “Well how can I say no?”. The company car finally pulls up back at the office and you both head through the lobby and into the lift. Max stands behind you with his arms wrapped around you and his head on your shoulder, talking about the enormous amount of work that will potentially need to be done if this deal goes through. As the lift doors open into the reception area, you both step out and Max hears the phone in his office start to ring. You give him an excited smile, encouraging him to go take the call in private. He begins striding through the empty office before making it to his office, pushing the doors open and heading over to his desk.

You take your time walking back to his office, giving Max time to finish his phone call. As you approach his office doors, you hear the click of the receiver as he hangs up. You watch Max’s shadow behind the frosted glass walk up to the doors and swing them open, a neutral look on his face. You look puzzled, thinking it was bad news before he burst out laughing with a smile, swinging you over his shoulder and carrying you to his bedroom. “You did it baby!” He yells, slapping your backside before throwing you both down onto the bed. “We did!?” you scream, a wave of relief and excitement washing over you. “Yes! I’m so proud of you. You saved Black Gold corporation. You saved me.” Max smiles, brushing a lock of curls away from your face before cupping your cheek and passionately kissing you. 

You kick off your shoes, belt and take off your beret fascinator as Max removes his suit jacket, suspenders and belt, before kissing each other again. “I was so turned on by you today” Max moans, writhing his hands all over your body, before ripping the bust of your dress open, the two buttons pinging off onto the carpet. “Watching your voluptuous ass in that dress walking into that boardroom and how you commanded the room’s attention, took control and sealed the deal. I wanted to put you over that boardroom table and worship you like the goddess you are. But I guess I can do that now”. Something about wearing your favourite suit of his, the unwavering progressive support of women and eagerness to pleasure you unlocks your most ravenous sexual desires. You stop Max, sitting up at the foot of the bed. He gets up from laying down and looks at you, worried he said or did something wrong. “Whats wrong my love?” he asks, looking concerned. ****MAJOR SMUT WARNING AHEAD**** “Max… you’ve shown me the romantic love making version which was so beautiful, but I want to make you feel worshipped” Max gives you an interesting glance. “You’re such a giving person but I want to give back. You’ve suffered neglect and mistreatment most of your life. I want to give you a different kind of passionate sex. I have fantasies and wild ideas that I think will give you immense pleasure. I want you to….” You stop yourself, not sure how he will react. Max's eyes widened with intrigue. “Go on?” Max squeezes your hand. “Well” you begin. The passionate fire is burning hotter and hotter within you. “I want you…” you hitch up your skirt and sit across Max’s lap, with one leg over each side “to straddle my chest and fuck my throat while I rub my clit” you get closer to Max’s face, pulling on his tie “And I want to cum while you’re throat fucking and choking me with your cock” you begin to undo his tie “And then I want you to cum in the back of my throat and make me swallow it”. There’s dead silence, so you bat your eyelash extensions, throwing a sexy yet innocent gaze followed by “hmmm?”. Max’s mind goes completely blank, the blood rushing from every inch of his body straight to his cock, which you feel hardened against your crotch as you straddle him. “Uhh wow honey that sounds very dangerous.” Max chokes, embarrassed he's getting turned on at the idea of hurting you. 

“For you or me?” You giggle, biting your lip. “For you” Max says, wrapping his arms around you. “Are you sure that’s something you want me to do to you Hermosa?”. “Yes Maxwell. I love the way you worship and pleasure me, but I want you to feel the same way. I have a kink when it comes to being dominated. Seeing my man so turned on and using his strength and body to please himself using me, makes me feel incredible. I know you would never hurt me, it’s something I would love for you to experience” You answer before kissing his neck. “You really are too good to me, princessa” Max sighs, running his hands down your back to your ass, squeezing both cheeks. “Of course, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, Max” you give him a reassuring look, worried you might have overstepped. “No baby, I’d love to, if that’s what will bring you the most pleasure” He coos, kissing your neck.

You begin to take off your dress, revealing under a black and gold laced lingerie set. “Black and Gold” you chuckle, watching Max’s eyes widen at the level of detail. “How did I get so lucky?” Max pants, pulling off his shirt and pants, leaving his boxers to contain his rock hard cock. You go to reach for Max’s crotch when his hand stops you. “Before we do this” Max begins “I want you to stop me at any time if it hurts or you can’t breathe or you just don’t want to do it anymore. That is the most important thing to me”. You nod and smile at Max, leaning in to kiss him, before your hands start to remove his boxers.

You reach down and begin to tease his cock, tracing your fingers tips against the tip. With your other hand you guide Max’s hand down, placing it at the top of your panties. As he starts to put his hands under your panties, he notices there’s a hole in them. Max stops to inspect. “Crotchless panties? Me vuelves loco” Max pants before he begin kissing and biting all over your body.

You’re in for it now. Like a virus, you’ve taken over Max’s brain, flooding it with animalistic desire and passion. A switch has been flipped and hell bent on blowing your mind, leaving all of his inhibitions and reservations about what he’s about to do to you at the door. Max climbs on top of you, wrapping his large hand around your throat, gently squeezing as you gasp for air. “Is this what you want?” He growls into your ear, nibbling on your earlobe before kissing down your neck. You manage to nod before moaning, indicating that you’re enjoying it. He’s never treated a woman like this before, but he manages to find the personality and words seemingly from thin air, like it was repressed all this time. “Start touching yourself for me now” Max commands. You slide your hand down into your panties and start rubbing your clit, sparks flying through your body and the slick now leaking out of your pussy. He groans at the sight of you touching yourself. Max moves up the bed before straddling over your chest. With your head propped up on some pillows, you look in Max’s eyes and ready your mouth and jaw for his throbbing cock. Max thumbs your bottom lip before grabbing just under your jaw to keep your face steady. “Open wide like the good little whore that you are” he hisses, smacking the tip of his precum soaked cock on your face.

The degrading name only makes you wetter, as you furiously rub your clitoris whilst pinned under Max’s legs. You moan as Max pushes his cock into your mouth and down your throat. “Oh my god my love your mouth feels incredible” Max moans, his character from before severely altered by the pleasurable sensation. He realises his mistake and compensates by pushing his cock as far as it will fit into your mouth and throat. “That’s it, take it all” he smirks, exhaling with a moan. You use two fingers to scoop up some of your slick and rub it into your clitoris, which is now super sensitive. Your stifled moans humming against Max’s veiny cock cause it to twitch. With your hips bucking from pleasuring yourself, Max takes both of his hands and puts them on your cheeks. “Fuck your mouth feels so good” Max moans, slowly thrusting back and forth out of your mouth, his cock touching your uvula and causing you to gag with each stroke. Your eyes begin to roll back in your skull as you continue to moan & choke, your swollen clitoris edging closer and closer to orgasm. “You like this huh? You like it when Daddy fills your throat up and fucks it?” Max hisses, wrapping your hair in between his fingers, gripping hard as his thrusts gain more momentum. Thick strings of spit is now spilling out of your mouth, down your chin and onto your breasts. “You look

The taste of Max’s precum coating the back of your tongue. You’re fighting to contain your orgasm but Max’s cock and brutal punishing words are sending you dangerously close to the edge. “Mmmmm, mmmmm!” You choke, tears welling in your eyes as you’re trying to nod and send Max a pleasured innocent gaze, driving him wild. You concentrate on breathing through your nose, each time Max’s cock leaves the back of your throat for a split second, giving you enough time to take in air. You decide to start moving your flattened tongue against the shaft, rubbing against the tip as it passes back and forth. Max let’s out a groan “You’re such a good little putá for papá”. There’s no holding back now, you increase your moans to signal that you’re on the precipice of an orgasm. “Cum for me” Max hisses, continuing the ecstasy inducing tempo of thrusts into your mouth and throat. You continue to rub your clit and gesture for Max to keep his cock still inside your mouth and throat for this moment, riding the crashing wave of your orgasm, squirting furiously onto your legs and sheets below. The writhing and shaking of your body underneath him, the sound of your squirting and muffled cries and moans from behind his cock is too much and brings him closer much faster than he ever anticipated. The eye-watering sensation causes the tears to flow down your cheeks, causing your mascara to run.

As your orgasm begins to subside you gesture for Max to continue thrusting, which he does as he moves his large hands to cup your face. “That felt fucking amazing” Max moans, continuing his fast and hard strokes. Your gaze, burning with passion and framed within smudged running eyeliner locks with Max’s, his domineering yet still showing affection. “I’m gonna cum” Max pants, keeping the pace as his grip on your face grows tighter. “Fuckkkk!!!” He shouts, holding your head still as he holds one final thrust as far in as it will go. Your eyes roll back into your head again as you feel the warm thick ropes of cum spurt onto the back of your throat. It was lucky you had taken a large enough breath before that moment, enough to sustain you for the few seconds Max held his cock still inside your mouth, throbbing and pulsing as he moans and shudders, cursing in Spanish. Coming back to reality, Max immediately pulls his softening cock from your mouth and wraps his large hands on the top and bottom of your face, closing your jaw shut. “Now Swallow” he commands, bending down so that his face inches from yours. With a cheeky gaze you oblige and swallow the remains of his cum tangled in your throat, before opening your jaw to allow him to inspect if there was any left. “My good little leche putá” he whispers, before spitting in your wide open mouth.

As if like breaking character on a movie set, Max immediately reverts back to his original self, climbing off to the side to lay next to you. “Was that good for you my love? How do you feel?” Max asks, worried he’s harmed your physical and mental state. “Incredible” you pant, smiling, lying in a pool of your own squirt. Breathing a sigh of relief, Max quickly brings up the blankets to cover you both, embracing you and peppering your spit, mascara and tear soaked face with kisses. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Max quizzes, checking your chest and throat over. “No” you reply, your throat somewhat hoarse. “Okay good. I love you so much” Max sighs, brushing your hair out of your face and kissing your forehead. “I love you too, Max”.

————————

I got impatient and wanted to post it now so I guess this chapter is finished 💀

@anaaaispunk @mandoalorian @pintsizemama

[thran-duils]

And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (P.1)

Title: And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Mafia!Tony Stark. Too many fringe gangs were making ties and your father noticed. He reached out to the Stark mob for an alliance, offering up a piece of his territory at first. When Stark told him he had enough land, your father offered up the next best thing: you. He knew Stark needed a wife and what better way to solidify a relationship between the two mafia families? You were not naïve, you knew the life and you were trained with guns and negotiations. Your father had made sure of that. The two of you had seen each other on multiple occasions at mafia get togethers and knew of each other. Stark accepted the transaction but little did he know he was going to get a little hellion handed over to him that would not kiss the ground he walked on. He would grow to love it too. Words: 1,656 Warnings (more WILL be added, I am sure): Eventual smut, power dynamics, sexism, smut, public sex, fingering, dom/sub powerplay, kidnapping, violence, death, knife kink, gun kink, angst with a happy ending

Author’s Note: READ the intro! This chapter starts there.

Introduction || Part Two || Masterpost mobile || Fanfic masterpost

You barely remember the wedding ceremony. There had been no courting, no engagement whatsoever to speak of between you and your now husband, Tony Stark. Your marriage was a business transaction between him and your father. The ceremony had been short and sweet, the reception being the thing people were most concerned with and between your father and Tony, the food and drink had been exceptional. You had kept your head about you, not drinking too much, and turning down drugs that had been offered. Tony had done the same, much to your surprise. He was being as cautious about you as you were being about him in turn; neither wanted the other to get the jump on them.

A town car, driven by one of his men, had come at the end of your night to take the two of you to the airport to your honeymoon. On the drive, the car was quiet, the pair of you on your phones or looking out the window, with small comments about the reception sprinkled in. Neither of you were pretending this was anything more than it was at this point; you were practically strangers, only having crossed paths a couple times a year before now.

Plus, you were not inclined to speak with him considering what you had been told by one of your bridesmaids. Tony had apparently been bragging about how he was going to get you into bed on the honeymoon. One of your girlfriends had happened to overhear him speaking to a handful of his men in what was supposed to be a private conversation. There had been comment from another about your ‘rack’ looking ‘delectable’ in your wedding gown and that term had made you gag. Another told him it should be ‘easy’ to get you on your back considering your reputation for clubbing. You despised the men in this business sometimes.

He had not gotten you into bed on the honeymoon. Much to his extreme annoyance; he had trouble hiding his temper, that much you had figured out already. You had kept yourself occupied with local attractions and the pool for the weekend.

His mansion was foreign to you and even after a month, you had still not settled in. And he was still trying to strong arm you with his comments and behavior to be submissive. Just like he was doing right now with his trying to order you around to get him and his men drinks. Fat chance. You stayed relaxed on your floatie, hearing June, your personal favorite of the servants because she was not an idiot and could hold a good conversation, gathering up the champagne to take over to them.

<><><>

Later in the evening, you came out of your closet, finding Tony walking into his. He was uncuffing his dress shirt and he stopped seeing you.

“That’s a nice dress,” Tony commented, his eyes running over you quickly, eyes only lingering at the tight fabric around your hips for the briefest of moments. “Mind telling me where you’re going?”

“Out.”

“Y/N.” There was warning in his tone.

He had an annoying habit of tracking you whenever you left the house. Whether or not he thought you were going to betray the marriage deal, cheat on him, or he was just a control freak – the last being very likely considering the sexism in the mafia – you were unsure. But it drove you up the wall he wanted tabs on you all the time.

Sighing as you dug through your clutch to make sure you had everything you needed, you told him, “I’m going out with my friends.”

“Where?” he pressed.

“The Bungalow,” you answered seeing your friend texted that she was outside. “It’s in Santa Monica.”

Tony chewed on the inside of his cheek, staring you down. You looked up at his silence finding the glower being aimed at you.

“What?” you asked exasperated.

“Be back by midnight.”

“You’re not my fucking parent, Tony.”

Tony rose his eyebrows in annoyance at your tone. “No, you’re right. I’m your husband. And as your husband, I’m telling you I want you back home by midnight. It doesn’t look good if you’re out partying until 3:00 in the morning all the time. That shit is gonna stop sooner rather than later.”

“It’s almost 8:00 and it takes a half hour—”

Tony cut in, “Then it sounds like you better stop arguing with me and get going.”

Clenching your jaw, you turned away from him and stomped out of your bedroom.

“Maybe invite your friends here next time! It’s not like there’s not a bar and pool here,” you heard him call after you.

You were suppressing the urge to scream as you descended the staircase. Just because you were married did not mean your life had to end. In the hall, you ran into one of his guys, Bucky, meandering with a drink in hand. He spotted you and gave you a smile. You forced an extremely fake one for a split second before storming past him out the front door.

Instead of forcing your friend to have to drive you home so early in the night and cutting their fun short, you risked taking an Uber by yourself back home. There were still cars outside which meant mafia members were still over. It was ten after midnight. You had had half a mind to invite your friends home, prepared to throw Tony’s words back at him about the pool and the bar. But you were afraid that the mafia would still be here and that had proven to be a legitimate fear. Plus, if Tony had lost his temper, you did not want to put your friends in that awkward position of witnessing that.

You slammed the front door as loudly as you could and immediately made your way towards the kitchen to make yourself a stiff drink. Throwing your clutch onto the kitchen island, you kicked your shoes off as well, leaving them haphazardly on the tile. You could hear music and voices coming from down the hall in what you assumed was the billiard room.

The vodka cran was stiff just like you wanted, and you took a huge gulp, leaning on the counter.

Natasha walked into the kitchen, and she paused seeing you before smiling; you returned it weakly.

“Looking for the chip stash,” she told you as she moved towards the pantry. She rummaged around in there and emerged with a couple bags. She asked, “Are you going to join us?”

“No, thank you though,” you told her. “I’m gonna watch Netflix. That’s what people do when they’re forced home before midnight, right?”

Natasha looked uncomfortable and said, “I… suppose. Well, if you change your mind then we’re in the game room.”

“Thanks,” you said again and she left you there, like she could not wait to exit that awkward conversation.

<><><>

Tossing the chips on the table, Natasha told Tony, giving him a cringing look, “You really pissed Y/N off. You gave her a curfew?”

Bucky rose his eyebrows as he grabbed one of the bags. He slowly opened it, waiting for Tony to respond.

Tony looked down at his watch and realized it was in fact almost 12:30. He had lost track of the time. “She’s home, then?” Natasha nodded and he smirked in triumph. “Good.”

“So, did you?”

“She doesn’t need to be out dancing in clubs all the damn time now. It’s embarrassing and frankly insulting for me,” Tony responded. “She’s not available and she shouldn’t be acting as such. She’s got to respect me. If my own wife won’t, then what’s stopping everyone else from not doing it either?”

Natasha chewed on that and shrugged. “I can see that. But maybe you shouldn’t be so gloating about the fact she obeyed your rule. You should thank her for listening to you. Just my opinion. Might help melt down the ice a little bit.” Tony scowled and she pressed, “You know I’m right. Her coming back when you asked should build some trust, right?”

Tony said after a few beats, “In the morning.”

“No, now.”

“Who is whose boss, here?” Tony asked her, cocking his head incredulously.

She nudged him and he let out an exasperated sigh as he got up from the couch, putting his drink down on the table.

“You said you had next game right?” Rhodes asked as Tony walked by. He was playing against Wanda at the pool table.

“Yes, and I’m going to kick whoever’s ass it is,” Tony answered, leaving the room.

<><><>

Tony walked into the bedroom, finding you under the covers, watching Netflix.

You told him scornfully, “I know, I know. I was ten minutes late. I’m sorry. In my defense, I took an uber home because I didn’t wanna make Jasmine leave early. So, they got lost for a few.”

He held up his hand, his brows raised. “Easy, tiger. Ten minutes is not a huge issue. I was just… coming up to check on you.”

“Well, I’m fine,” you muttered, eyes going back to the television.

He pointed at your glass and asked, “Want a refill?” You eyed him suspiciously and he said, “Just asking.”

“No, thank you. I had enough at the bar, and this is gonna be my last.”

Tony nodded and said, “Right. Well, be sure to drink water before you go to bed. And thanks by the way… for listening to me and coming back on time.”

“You’re welcome…” you told him, confused as all hell at his out of left field behavior.

He nodded again and clapped his hands before turning on his heel and walking out.

“What the fuck?” you said under your breath to yourself.

Since when was he that calm?

Slowly, you sunk back into the pillows. You shot another look at the door, wondering what had gotten into him.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

Fic tags: @patheticallysentimental​

[todomitoukei]

Japanese vs. English Todoroki - A 302 Comparison

After chapter 301 gave us a bit of Touya’s backstory, this chapter continues giving us some flashbacks as well as the conversation between the Todofam in the present time with plenty of questionable lines! Just like with 301, we’ll take a look at every line from this chapter so this is another lengthy post...

「今後は焦凍を他の子らと一切近���けさせないこと��する。」

「今後 ; kongo 」-> from now on; hereafter

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「他 ; hoka 」-> other

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子ら ; kora 」-> children

「と ; to 」-> with

「一切 ; issai 」-> absolutely not; without exception

「近付けさせない ; chikadzukesasenai 」-> won’t let someone near someone else

「ことにする ; koto ni suru 」-> to decide on

= “I’ve decided that from now on, I will absolutely not let Shouto near the other kids.”

The official translation says that “we” are keeping the kids away from Shouto. While the Japanese line doesn’t include the pronoun for “I” it makes a lot more sense to go with that since Rei didn’t exactly have much of a say in anything, so whether or not she agreed to this isn’t even important. The point is, Endeavor made this decision.

This was most likely right after Touya tried to attack little Shouto so a direct continuation of the last flashback from chapter 301.

「俺は仕事でずっと面倒を見るわけにはいかんその為の使用人を雇った。おまえも燈矢から目を離すな。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「仕事で ; shigoto 」-> attending work

「ずっと ; zutto 」-> continuously; straight

「面倒を見る ; mendou o miru 」-> to look after someone

「わけにはいかん ; wake niwa ikan 」-> cannot afford to

「その ; sono 」-> that

「為 ; tame 」-> sake; purpose

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「使用人 ; shiyounin 」-> servant; employee

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「雇った ; yatotta 」-> hired

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「から ; kara 」-> from

「目を離すな ; me o hanasuna 」-> don’t take one’s eyes off

= “I am attending work. I can’t afford to continuously look after him, for that sake I hired a servant. Don’t you take your eyes off Touya, either.”

The na at the end of me o hanasuna is a negative command to say “don’t do” I’m not sure how exactly Rei is supposed to not take her eyes off Shouto and Touya when they are kept apart from each other, but what do we expect anyway? Also, keep in mind that Touya is 8 years older than Shouto and has been training on his own for around 4 years at this point without his parents being able to stop him. Of course, Endeavor is not going to be the Number One Hero if he can’t even stop his own child from doing whatever he wants. How are two adults not able to handle one tiny child??

「。。。あの子はあなたに見てほしいんだよ。」

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「に ; ni 」-> by; from

「見て ; mite 」-> to look

「ほしい ; hoshii 」-> to want

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “...That child wants you to look at him.”

The “that’s all” in the official translation is a good way to capture the nuance of nda yo. 

「。。。俺はヒーローの世界しか。。。見せられないよ。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「しか ; shika 」-> only

「見せられない ; miserarenai 」-> to see (potential negative) *shika requires the verb to be in the negative form

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “I can only show him the hero world.”

Shika is usually used in a negative context, so an alternative translation would be “I can’t show him anything but the hero world.”

Anyway, I absolutely love (sarcasm) when people try to claim that Endeavor was a loving family man who just didn’t know how to express his love even though it’s so obvious that he couldn’t be bothered to try and be an actual father. Saying that he can only show him the hero world is just a lazy excuse, similar to him telling Touya that he’s ignoring him “for his own good” - none of those are in any way helpful or something that a child could understand. Instead, it only signals that Endeavor doesn’t care. No one is born a perfect parent nor is anyone expected to be one, but a good parent would try to do a good job and not neglect their child because they are incapable of being a parent. It’s also like he pretends that only the hero Endeavor exists and that he isn’t anyone outside of that. He’s a hero and nothing else (unfortunately, he isn’t really a hero, either, though). The problem with separating the hero from the person behind the hero is taking away the responsibility and sort of using the hero persona as a shield. Instead of recognizing that he failed as a parent, he is acting as though he doesn’t exist outside of his hero job and thus doesn’t have any responsibilities outside of work. That is how he also ends up blaming Rei for everything that happens rather than acknowledging that this is all his fault.

「ヒーロー？　逃げてるだけじゃないの。。。」

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「逃げてる ; nigeteru 」-> running away; escaping

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

「の ; no 」-> explanatory question marker

= “Hero? Aren’t you just running away…?”

This is a fantastic line and it’s nice to see her call him out, however, it also just makes no sense when later on in this exact chapter, we see Rei - in the present time - now being a lot nicer to him and supporting him instead of calling him out for being at fault for what happened to Touya.

「燈矢兄遊ぼー！！」

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「遊ぼー ; asobo- 」-> let’s play

= “Touya-Nii, let’s play-!!”

「おお」

「おお ; oo 」-> Oh

= “Oh.”

Something I want to point out about this panel is that we see two desks here. Do they have a computer room? Do Touya and Natsuo share a room? While there are plenty of books on Touya’s desk, the one next to him has a couple of action figures on it. Though it’s hard to determine who those action figures are supposed to be, it would be absolutely hilarious if they just had a bunch of All Might figurines that they placed around the house to piss off Endeavor.

「焦凍見るな。兄さん（アレ）らはおまえとは違う世界の人間だ。」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「見るな ; miruna 」-> don’t look

「兄さんら ; niisanra 」-> older brothers

「アレ ; are 」-> that person

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「とは ; to wa」-> topic marker with added emphasis to the topic

「違う ; chigau 」-> different

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「人間 ; ningen 」-> human

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Don’t look, Shouto! Your brothers (they) are people of a different world.” 

Here, we have a sentence where the Furigana (= what the character says) read as are and don’t match with the Kanji (= what the character actually means), which read niisan.The ra at the end of niisanra is a pluralizer, just like tachi (ra is more informal). These pluralizers can be translated as something like “group” to say something like “the group of which your older brother is a part of.” It’s interesting that he says this, though, since the word kyoudai (=siblings) exists, which would better include all of Shouto’s siblings. Adding ra to the word Niisan (=older brother) rather than using a more neutral term like kyoudai then sort of adds emphasis to the older brother. This would be a great moment to joke that this is where Touya got his sexism from since Endeavor can’t even be bothered to mention that Shouto also has a sister here. But, I think this “group of which your older brother is a part of” refers to Touya specifically for a different reason. Natsuo himself has mentioned that Endeavor never even acknowledged him and instead he was tossed aside right away. And while Fuyumi is the one shown to be closest with Endeavor in the present time, that's only because Endeavor relies on her since she more or less replaced Rei in her mother role. But back then, she was probably just as ignored as Natsuo. That makes it feel like even here when saying “your siblings are in a different world” he is referring to Touya being a failure and thus not being part of the hero world, while not even acknowledging Natsuo’s or Fuyumi’s existence at all.

「いっかいだけでいいから燈矢兄たちと遊ばせて。」

「いっかい ; ikkai 」-> one time; one round; one game

「だけで ; dake de 」-> just

��いいから ; ii kara 」-> listen up

「燈矢兄たち ; touya nii tachi 」-> Touya-Nii and the others

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊ばせて ; asobasete 」-> let (someone) play (command)

= “Listen, let me play with Touya-Nii and the others, just one time!”

Ii kara is an expression used at the start of a command sentence for emphasis.

As mentioned before, tachi is a pluralizer and it’s similar to saying “Touya-Nii and the others” which is important for two reasons. One, this indicates that there were no further incidents where Touya tried to attack Shouto, since the latter doesn’t show any fear or resentment towards Touya, probably not knowing about the incident at all. And two, it really feels like Shouto is looking up to big bro Touya here. The oldest child - the head of the kids, if you will - and all Shouto wants is to hang out with this awesome brother of his. It’s not clear whether he knows that Touya used to be trained too or not, but either way, Shouto emphasizes Touya here and I’m glad the official translation included it like this, too!

「ダメだ出力訓練だ。」

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「だ ; da 」-> be

「出力 ; schutsuryoku 」-> output

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “It’s no good. It’s output training.”

As mentioned later on in the chapter, Endeavor only ever taught Touya how to increase his flames and not how to decrease them. So I assume that “output training” is just that - training Shouto to increase his flames.

I’ve seen some people claim that the panel we get of Touya is him looking at Shouto in some evil or jealous way, but it’s more realistic to assume he’s looking at Endeavor, especially when looking at the part that comes right after. ALSO, please look at Natsuo in that panel. 

He looks so worried as he’s realizing that he’s about to hit Touya-Nii in the face with the ball. You think Touya manipulated Natsuo? Actually, Natsuo physically abused Touya :/ (this is sarcasm). This is also the part where, in the anime, Touya just falls down and Natsuo and Fuyumi laugh at him. No wonder he ended up as a villain. Bullied by everyone in his family, the poor kid...

「そりゃああの時は俺が悪かったよ。。。！！焦凍に罪はなかったもの。。。でもお父さんも悪かったんだよ！　俺たちは失敗作だから相手にされないすごいよな。。。要らない子をつくってこれが現代ヒーローなんだぜ。」

「そりゃあ ; soryaa 」-> well; that is to say (interjection, form of それは)

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「時 ; toki 」-> time; occasion

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悪かった ; warukatta 」-> was at fault; was in the wrong; was to blame

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle 

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> for

「罪 ; tsumi 」-> fault; responsibility

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「なかった ; nakatta 」-> wasn’t

「もの ; mono 」-> sentence ending particle used to indicate reason/excuse/dissatisfaction

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「悪かった ; warukatta 」-> was at fault; was in the wrong; was to blame

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「俺たち ; oretachi 」-> we

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「失敗作 ; shippaisaku 」-> failed creative work; flop

「だから ; dakara 」-> because

「相手にされない ; aite ni sarenai 」-> don’t associate with; take notice of (passive)

「すごい ; sugoi 」-> terrible

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「要らない ; iranai 」-> not needed

「子 ; ko 」-> children

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「くって ; tsukutte 」-> making

「これ ; kore 」 - > this

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「現代 ; gendai 」-> modern era; nowadays

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「なんだ ; nanda 」-> explanatory particle

「ぜ ; ze 」-> emphasis particle

= “Well, that time I was to blame. Shouto wasn’t at fault. But dad was also to blame! We’re failed creative works, so we aren’t being associated with. Terrible, isn’t it… making children they don’t need. Is this the modern era hero?”

We know that Touya attacked Shouto when Shouto was a relatively fresh baby, but here Touya is 13, so this is roughly 5 years after that incident and yet Touya is still thinking about it and still feeling guilty about it, too. It’s also obvious that he never properly spoke with either one of his parents about this since a parent would then sit him down and help him work through these feelings of guilt. Then again, not his parents! Maybe he did tell them this before too and he didn’t get any reaction from it. It’s also sad how well he understands the whole situation and how much critical thinking he has (more than most of the fandom!), questioning how someone like Endeavor can be considered a hero when he isn’t even a decent person to his own family.

「たまには姉ちゃんことで言ったら。。。？」

「たまに ; tamani 」-> occasionally; once in a while

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「姉ちゃん ; neechan 」-> big sister

「こと ; koto 」-> phrase nominalizer

「で ; de 」-> with; via

「言ったら ; ittara 」-> if you said/told

= “If you told big sister one in a while…?”

This one sounds a bit strange when just doing a direct translation since this is one of those cases where the rest of the sentence is omitted because this part is enough to understand what he’s trying to say. 

The one compliment I always have to give Horikoshi is managing to write very believable sibling dynamics/interactions. Also, I can’t help but wonder whether they are sharing a room (which doesn’t really make sense considering they live in a large house) or if these two just like to have sleepovers (I prefer this theory).

「夏くんまで俺をたしなめるのか！？やめてくれ！夏くんしか理解できないから話してるのに！！わかるだろ家の女は皆だめだめなだ！」

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「まで ; made 」-> even

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「たしなめる ; tashinameru 」-> to chide; to rebuke; to reprove

「のか ; noka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

「やめてくれ ; yametekure 」-> quit - asking for a favor (やめて + くれ)

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「理解できない ; rikai dekinai 」-> able to understand/comprehend/sympathize (negative form because of shika)

「から ; kara 」-> because; therefore

「話してる ; hanashiteru 」-> speaking; talking

「のに ; noni 」-> even though (used when complaining to someone)

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「だろ ; daro 」-> right; I think

「家 ; uchi 」-> one’s family; one’s home

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「女 ; onna 」-> woman

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> all

「だめだめな ; dame dame na 」-> entirely useless

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Even you are chiding me, Natsuo-Kun!? Please stop! I’m talking to you because you are the only one who can understand me, Natsu-Kun!! You understand that the women in this family are entirely useless, right!”

The kure at the end of yametekure is used when asking a favor from someone, in this case, Touya is essentially asking Natsuo to please stop.

I know a lot of people said this is somehow manipulative and sexist?! About the sexist part: this is literally just a way for him to sum up that he’s talking about Fuyumi and Rei, which makes sense, considering he is not allowed to talk to Shouto, and obviously he can’t talk to Endeavor, either, which means the only remaining candidates he is able to talk to are Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Rei. Since he is talking to Natsuo, that only leaves Fuyumi and Rei (= the women in the family). It’s not that deep. It’s not like he said “they don’t understand because they are women” he just said “the women in this family are useless” which is an understandable feeling. While we don’t know exactly how his conversations with Fuyumi were like during this time, we know that Fuyumi is more on the neutral side in the present time and later on in this chapter, she even admits to having turned a blind eye in the past. And the next scene shows us why Touya thinks his mom is useless, too. He has legitimate reasons to view them as useless because neither of them acknowledged his feelings or listened to him properly. So no, he isn’t sexist he just uses this term instead of saying “Fuyumi and mom”.

And about the manipulative part - I’m not sure if some of you don’t have siblings? You are allowed to vent to your siblings. Also, let’s not forget that Touya is a drama queen, so him being a little dramatic here is just him being himself. More importantly, though, Natsuo is the only one that listens to him, so of course, he’s worried when the one person that he feels understood by tells him to talk to someone who doesn’t understand him. Not to mention the fact that Touya didn’t exactly grow up in an environment that taught him how to properly handle his feelings, which is the core problem in his life, so if he doesn’t perfectly articulate his feelings then remember that his parents never taught him any better.

「待ってまたお山に行く気でしょ。。。！たまにはクラスメイトと遊んでみたり。。。」

「待って ; matte 」-> to wait

「また ; mata 」-> again

「お山 ; oyama 」-> mountain

「に ; ni 」-> to

「行く気 ; iku ki 」-> feel like going

「でしょ ; desho 」-> it seems; right?

「たまに ; tamani 」-> occasionally; once in a while

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「クラスメイト ; kurasumeito 」-> classmates

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊んでみたり ; asondemitari 」-> try to do things like playing

= “Wait, you feel like going to the mountain again, right…! Once in a while, try to do things like playing with your classmates and…”

「友だちなんかいらない！世界が違う！」

「友だち ; tomodachi 」-> friends

「なんか ; nanka」-> make light off something

「いらない ; iranai 」-> don’t need

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「違う ; chigau 」-> different

= “I don’t need friends! The worlds are different!”

Obviously, he has adapted this mindset from Endeavor. Thinking that heroes live in their own world and are somehow different - better - than anyone else. Being a hero in the bnha universe isn’t about anything heroic in most cases, but rather it’s about status and being a superior person. Sure, not every hero is as cruel to people as Endeavor, but even the other heroes believe that some people are worthier than others. In a way, they really are in a different world because they have the power to decide who to save and who isn’t worth saving, even though none of them are able to recognize this. To some people, though, like Endeavor or Touya, these different worlds are very clearly there.

「燈矢おまえ。。。本当にヒーローになりたいの？」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になりたい ; ni naritai 」-> want to become

「の ; no 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

= “Touya, you… do you really want to become a hero?”

「お母さんには。。。お父さんに縛られて苦しんでる様に見える。。。燈矢。。。世界は沢山あって選択肢は無数にあるの。お父さんだけじゃないもっと外を見て。。。！その中で本当になりたい自分を見つけてほし。。。」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「に ; ni 」-> by

「縛られて ; shibararete 」-> to tie, to bind; to restrict (freedom)(passive)

「苦しんでる ; kushinderu」-> suffering

「様に見える ; you ni mieru 」-> seems like

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「沢山 ; takusan 」-> many

「あって ; atte 」-> to be; to exist

「選択肢 ; sentakushi 」-> choices; alternatives; options

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「無数 ; musuu 」-> countless

「に ; ni 」-> to

「ある ; aru 」-> to be; to exist

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> isn’t

「もっと ; motto 」-> even more

「外 ; soto 」-> other place

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見て ; mite 」-> look

「その中で ; sono naka de 」-> therein

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「なりたい ; naritai 」-> want to become

「自分 ; jibun 」-> oneself

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見つけて ; mitsukete 」-> to discover; to find

「ほし ; hoshi 」-> want

= “To mom… it seems like you are suffering and being tied down by your father… Touya… There are many worlds, there are countless choices. Look more outside, there isn’t just your father…! I want you to find out who you really want to become therein.”

See, she can’t really blame him for becoming Dabi when she literally tells him he should find out who he wants to become. He only took her advice...

「お母さんが何を知ってんだよ！？啓発本でも読んだのかよ。。。！？」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「知ってん ; shitten 」-> knowing

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「啓発 ; keihatsu 」-> enlightenment; development

「本 ; hon 」-> books

「でも ; demo 」-> ...or something

「読んだ ; yonda 」-> was reading

「なのか ; nanoka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “What do you know, mom!? Were you reading some enlightenment books or something…!?”

Once again, the official translation makes him talk in the weirdest way. We get it, he speaks informally. But no one talks like that. Please stop. Also, while the official translation only called this a “self-help book” keihatsu is defined as the act of teaching and leading others by teaching knowledge and awareness and is based on a saying from the Analects of Confucius about teaching only those who have the desire to learn and struggle to express themselves with words. There’s another word for enlightenment in Japanese, keimou, which is defined as being about teaching people the answer, whereas keihatsu is about leading people to think about the answer themselves.

Again, in a way, Rei did lead him to think about what his answer to “find out who you want to become” is so it’s somewhat fitting since she didn’t explicitly tell him who to become.

I’m sure Rei hasn’t actually read any enlightenment books, but I’m sure Touya has (that and parental books, probably). Smart boy!

「おばあちゃん達が貧乏してたからお母さんを売ったんだろ。お母さんはそうするしかなかったんだろ。」

「おばあちゃん達 ; obaachantachi 」-> grandma and the others

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「貧乏してた ; binbou shiteta 」-> was poor

「から ; kara 」-> therefore

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「売ったん ; uttan 」-> was sold

「だろ ; daro 」-> right?

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「そうする ; sousuru 」-> to do so

「しかなかった ; shikanakatta 」-> had no choice but~

「んだろ ; ndaro 」-> right?

= “Grandma and the others were poor, so they sold mom, right? Mom had no choice but to do it, right?”

Remember how in chapter 301 I said that the first flashback seemed more like a business transaction? Well, well, well. Of course, just because Touya says that Rei was sold doesn’t mean that she was actually sold, but I do think that she was sold in the sense that Endeavor is providing for her family, which would also explain why they are never seen visiting Rei (aside from the fact that this story isn’t about her and they are just not important) since they are financially depending on Endeavor and thus don’t want to get into any sort of fights with him that would possibly result in him not providing for them anymore.

Again, it’s sad that a 13-year-old is already aware of these circumstances.

「燈。。。」

「燈 ; tou 」-> Tou

= “Tou…”

「だから俺が生まれたんだろ。。。！？お母さんも加担してんだよ。」

「だから ; dakara 」-> therefore

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「生まれた ; umareta 」-> was born

「んだろ ; daro 」-> right?

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「加担してん ; katan shite 」-> being complicit

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “That’s why I was born, right…!? You’re also complicit, mom.”

Honestly, he looks so hurt there. Some people like to claim that he was too harsh or whatever, but he basically just poured his heart out to her and told her that she can’t understand his pain - which is true - and it’s so sad to think about how long he must have had this thought already at that point. Again, he is thirteen. That’s a tough age for most people as it is, and when your own family doesn’t listen to you or understand you that makes it even worse.

Another thing to note is the sweat drops on his face. As we learn on the next page, when his emotions increase, so does his fire, so it’s likely that by yelling at his mom and getting angry, his body temperature was rising, thus making him sweat. This also matches with the line that comes right after:

「火が。。。。消えないんだよ」

「火 ; hi 」-> fire

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「消えない ; kienai 」-> won’t go out

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “The fire... won’t go out.”

Again, this could refer to the fact that a literal fire is lit inside of him as he’s more emotional right now.

「燈矢」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

= “Touya.”

This conversation is similar to two other conversations we’ve seen so far: First, Rei gives him the exact same “advice” that Endeavor has given Touya before: “Make some friends. There are more worlds than just the hero world!” and then, Rei also tells Touya that there isn’t just Endeavor, similar to how she told Shouto “You aren’t bound by his blood.” So why did these two things not work on Touya?

The first piece of advice doesn’t work because it pretty much ignores Touya’s feelings, problems, and goals. He wants to be a hero, but his father won’t let him. Similar to how his own father couldn’t just give up on his dream of being a Number One Hero, thus starting a family and his little eugenics project, Touya can’t just give up on his dream of becoming a hero. To him, it’s not even necessarily about being a hero - it’s about proving himself to his father, to have his father say “I’m glad you were born” instead of just ignoring him and only focusing on his new masterpiece, Shouto.

The second advice worked on Shouto, so why didn’t it work on Touya? Well, the two of them are the same, but they are also opposites. Shouto has only ever had negative feelings towards Endeavor since he had to witness him hit his mom and terrify his siblings. Shouto always wanted to be a hero, but he didn’t want to become like Endeavor. Shouto said that he wants to make people feel at ease, and he knows that Endeavor doesn’t make his own family feel that way, so clearly becoming like him would mean not becoming the kind of hero Shouto wants to be. So by Rei telling him that he isn’t bound by Endeavor’s blood, she’s reassuring him that he can be independent from Endeavor and doesn’t have to be like him. 

So how is Touya different? Touya always wanted to be a hero, but more importantly, he wanted to be good enough in his father’s eyes because unlike Shouto, he saw the “good” days of his family. While Endeavor never unconditionally loved him like a parent should, to a kid love is love and all that matters is getting their parents’ attention. Touya had that, but then suddenly was only met with excuses of “We can’t train anymore for your own good!” which doesn’t really help a child understand why they are now being ignored. While Shouto didn’t want to become Endeavor nor did he want to be around him, all Touya ever wanted was for his father to be proud of him and view him as worthy. So of course telling him there are more worlds than just Endeavor couldn’t possibly be helpful, because how can you expect a child to just not crave their parent’s love anymore?

「早生まれの小さな身体に漸く訪れ始めた二次性徴」

「早生まれ ; hayaumare 」-> someone born between January 1 and April 1

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「小さな ; chiisana 」-> small

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「に ; ni 」-> at

「漸く ; youyaku 」-> finally; at last

「訪れ始めた ; otozurehajimeta 」-> begin to appear

「二次 ; niji 」-> secondary

「性徴 ; seichou 」-> sexual characteristics

= “Secondary sexual characteristics finally begin to appear in the small body of someone born early in the year.”

Of course, we are all surprised that “Touya was always small because he came out of the oven a little early” isn’t a literal translation.

Hayaumare is a term that describes someone born between January 1 and April 1, since the school year in Japan starts in April and kids start going to school at age 6 and so kids born between January and April will be the youngest in their class, sometimes almost a year younger than their oldest classmates. Shouto is also a hayaumare since he is also born in January, thus one of the youngest in class 1-A. So while this doesn’t mean that he was born prematurely, he would just seem smaller in comparison to his classmates since there is still so much development happening during that time. Obviously, that doesn’t explain why he was so much shorter than Natsuo. While it’s true that Natsuo is the kid that most resembles Endeavor in appearance, Rei is also pretty tall and I believe even now taller than Dabi. I think that overall, this is more to amplify that Touya has a weak body.

Also, this is clearly a great moment for him to develop secondary sexual characteristics, which include things like body hair, only for him to burn them all off right then and there. This also means that they wouldn’t have recognized Dabi by his voice, since it wouldn’t have gotten deeper yet before he left the family.

「そうか。。。身体機能だもんな！感情の昂ぶりが火力に直結するんだ！すごいぞ俺。。。これならお父さんもきっとびっくりするぞ！」

「そうか ; souka 」-> is that so? (rhetorical)

「身体 ; shintai 」-> body

「機能 ; kinou 」-> function; feature

「だ ; da 」-> be

「もん ; mon 」-> because; indicates reason

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation/ introduce new topic

「感情 ; kanjou 」-> emotion; feelings

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「昂ぶり ; takaburi 」-> excitement; stimulation

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「火力 ; karyoku」-> heating/fire power

「に ; ni 」-> to

「直結する ; chokketsu suru 」-> to directly connect

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「すごい ; sugoi 」-> incredible

「ぞ ; zo 」-> emphasizes the speaker’s will or opinion

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「これなら ; kore nara 」 - > this one

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely

「びっくりする ; bikkuri suru 」-> to be surprised

「ぞ ; zo 」-> emphasizes the speaker’s will or opinion

= “Is that so…? It’s the body function, huh! The stimulation of the emotions is directly connected to the firepower! Incredible I… this one will surely also surprise dad!”

Look at him still smiling! Wasn’t that All Might’s thing, to smile no matter what? Touya sure had that down too, still holding on to the hope that his dad would care.

「身体の変化と共にその炎は赤から蒼へと色を変えていた」

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「変化 ; henka 」-> transition

「と共に ; to tomo ni 」-> together with

「その ; sono 」-> that

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「赤 ; aka 」-> red

「から ; kara 」-> from

「蒼 ; ao 」-> blu

「へと ; e to 」-> to

「色 ; iro 」-> color

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「変えていた ; kaeteita 」-> was changing

= “Together with the body’s transition, the flame’s color was changing from red to blue.”

「ああでも。。。くっそ昂ぶると何だって涙が出ちゃうんだろう。」

「ああ ; aa 」-> Ah

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「くっそ ; kusso 」-> extremely

「昂ぶる ; takaburu 」-> to become excited; to become aroused (of emotions)

「と ; to 」-> when

「何だって ; nandatte 」-> why?; what for?

「涙が出 ; namida ga dechau 」-> to shed tears (出る + ちゃう)

「ん ; n 」-> used for emphasis/ to show surprise

「だろう ; darou 」-> I wonder

= “Ah but… I wonder why I shed tears when I become extremely excited?”

Dechau consists of deru (to come out) and chau, which is used here to emphasize his emotions. The n after dechau is an explanatory particle and can also show surprise (basically asking for an explanation for this new discovery of him crying as a result of becoming excited).

Anyway, this is a super important new detail we now know about Dabi. In this post I talked about Dabi currently experiencing emotional numbness (in response to him telling Shouto that he doesn’t feel anything anymore), a coping mechanism that can occur after traumatic events. It doesn’t mean the person experiencing this doesn’t actually have any emotions anymore, but those feelings get repressed because sometimes it’s easier for your brain to pretend those feelings aren’t there rather than letting you become overwhelmed with extremely strong emotions. However, individuals experiencing emotional numbness might still show emotions like anger in situations where they might feel powerless or threatened.

While I still do believe that this does apply to Dabi, this chapter is proof that he still feels very strong emotions since strong emotions make his fire stronger. A little later in this chapter, we also find out that Touya was only shown how to increase his flames and not how to decrease them (imagine Endeavor teaching you how to drive lol, no thank you!) so it also seems like even now, he doesn’t have full control over his flames - or rather their intensity - since otherwise, he could have just used a weaker flame up until now instead of always using blue flames no matter what. So his flames are still controlled by his emotions, therefore showing that he still has very strong emotions now.

In other words, while he is suppressing his emotions and not fully experiencing them the same way he used to, those feelings are still very much there even if it doesn’t feel that way to him.

I think something very interesting to see would be if at some point (should someone ever properly decide to save him) someone would get through to him and we would just see his blue flames slowly turning red as he, for the first time, truly calms down...

「お父さん今度の休み瀬古杜岳に来てよ。」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「今度 ; kondo 」-> next time

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「休み ; yasumi 」-> holiday; day off

「瀬古杜岳 ; sekototake 」-> Sekoto Peak

「に ; ni 」-> to

「来て ; kite 」-> come

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad, come to Sekoto Peak on your next free day!”

Again, can we just appreciate how strong this child is still smiling and being hopeful despite years of being neglected and told he’s not good enough? Even now, he’s still trying and not giving up. He looks so cheerful here like he still has positive feelings for his dad here.

「火傷。。。周囲から見られない箇所での訓練。。。！」

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「周囲 ; shuui 」-> surroundings

「から ; kara 」-> from

「見られない ; mirarenai 」-> can’t be seen

「箇所 ; kasho 」-> place

「での ; deno 」-> in (the no adds emphasis on the preceding word)

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

= “Burn… training in a place that can’t be seen from the surroundings…!”

「おまえまだ。。。！！」

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「まだ ; mada 」-> still

= “You still…!!”

Obviously, this is very different from the official translation’s “Dammit! Again?!” but I think the criticism only stems from people who think that swearing is some sort of terrible taboo way of speaking. No, he doesn’t swear in Japanese but there are so few swear words in Japanese and usually, the way you would swear is by speaking informally. Anyway, it matches his expression and you can see that he’s yelling so it’s one of those changes that aren’t that dramatic, and anyone that cries over this better also address the heavier changes in regards to Dabi and the rest of the villains. Also, as I’ve said before: the changes in Dabi’s speech are far more severe and impact how people view him as a person since the entire content is sometimes changed for the worse. He is also someone who is clearly smart and knows how to use language, so making him speak in weird ways like the official translation does definitely changes how he is perceived. Endeavor, on the other hand, is not perceived differently by the minor changes made to his speech, which don’t even affect the content. For example, with this line, he is literally yelling at his child. Saying “dammit” isn’t the reason I view him as a terrible father since him neglecting and abusing his children for over ten years at this point is enough proof for that already. Whether he swears or not doesn’t change that.

「すごい事になったんだ必ず来て！」

「すごい事になった ; sugoi koto ni natta 」-> to go crazy; to get out of hand; to end up in an extreme state

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「必ず ; kanarazu 」-> certainly; without fail

「来て ; kite 」-> come

= “It ended up in an extreme state, so you certainly have to come!”

What’s interesting here is the “sugoi koto ni natta” part, which is an expression with the above-mentioned meanings that certainly all fit Touya’s state there. But if you break it down then you have “became a terrific thing” - which is close to the  “what I can do now is pretty cool!”

「焦凍にだって到達できるかどうか。。。！オールマイトにも負けないかもね！お父さんもきっと認めざるをえなくなるからさ。。。！俺をつくって良かったって思うから！」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> at

「だって ; datte 」-> after all

「到達 ; toutatsu 」-> reaching

「できる ; dekiru 」-> to be able to

「かどうか ; kadouka 」-> whether or not

「オールマイト ; orumaito 」-> All Might

「にも ; nimo 」-> also

「負けない ; makenai 」-> don’t lose; to not be inferior to

「かも ; kamo 」-> may; might

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely

「認めざるをえなくなる ; mitomezaru o enakunaru 」-> cannot help to grow to recognize/notice (認め + ざるをえなく + なる)

「から ; kara 」-> expresses sympathy

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくって ; tsukutte 」-> to make

「良かった ; yokatta 」-> to be glad

「って思う ; tte omou 」-> to think

「から ; kara 」-> expresses sympathy

= “Whether or not I am able to reach Shouto after all…! I might also not lose to All Might, will I! Surely, you cannot help but grow to notice me too, dad...! And you will think you’re glad you made me!”

Later on, we get Endeavor and Rei both expressing that they didn’t know what to say to Touya around this time. When your child says “I will do this thing that’s damaging me to prove my worth to you and have you think it’s good that I exist!” maybe just say that you’re already glad they exist and that they’re already good enough! I’m sure parenting is hard, but affirming your child’s worth should not be one of the difficult parts of parenting. 

Also, I would like to point out that the fandom has talked a lot about Touya’s jealousy towards Shouto, but I don’t fully see it. First of all, Touya is fully aware of why he and his siblings exist and therefore also knows why Endeavor is training Shouto. This doesn’t mean that Touya isn’t jealous at all, but he also doesn’t really dwell on those feelings. He sees Shouto as his competition, but not even in a negative way. If Endeavor had allowed it, Touya probably would have trained with Shouto and the two of them could have motivated each other to reach their full potential. The only reason Touya had any amount of jealousy in him was that Shouto was his replacement and as long as Shouto was around and better than Touya, it meant that Endeavor wouldn’t pay any attention to Touya. The whole “Whether or not I am able to reach Shouto” phrase shows that he recognizes that Shouto is stronger than him at the moment, but again, it comes from a place of trying to show Endeavor “Look, I can do what your masterpiece can do, too!” because he knows Endeavor is currently only impressed by Shouto. Shouto sets the bar and Touya is trying to make his father see that he can reach that bar too (probably). If Endeavor had changed his mind and let Touya and Shouto train together, then Touya might not have had any ill feelings towards Shouto, so when talking about this jealousy, please keep in mind that all roads lead back to Endeavor here and taking him out of the equation would make for a good bond between the two brothers.

「何故止めなかった冷！！！頼んだはずだ！！！」

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「止めなかった ; tomenakatta 」-> didn’t stop

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「頼んだ ; tanonda 」-> entrusted to; requested to

「はず ; hazu 」-> expectation that something took place

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Why didn’t you stop him, Rei!!! I entrusted him to you!!!”

Hazu is used with the past tense of a verb to express negative feelings in response to something not having turned out how you expected them to.

「お母さんいじめないで！！やめて！いじめないでよ！」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「いじめないで ; ijimenai de 」-> don’t be cruel to

「やめて ; yamete 」-> stop

「いじめないで ; ijimenai de 」-> don’t be cruel to

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Don’t be cruel to mom! Stop it! Don’t be cruel!”

「焦凍は出てろ！関係ない話だ！！」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「出てろ ; detero 」-> get out

「関係ない ; kankei nai  」-> not involved

「話 ; hanashi 」-> conversation

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Shouto, get out! The conversation doesn’t involve you!!”

「お母さんが何を知ってんだよ！？」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「知ってん ; shitten 」-> knowing

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “What do you know mom!?”

「選択肢は限られていたけれど選んで進んだのは私の足でせめてその先では笑っていようと思っていた。。。のに」

「選択肢 ; sentakushi 」-> options

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「限られていた ; kagirareteita 」-> was limited

「けれど ; keredo 」-> however

「選んで ; erande 」-> to choose

「進んだ ; sunda 」-> to live

「のは ; nowa 」-> topic maker particle

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「足 ; ashi 」-> foot

「で ; de 」-> on

「せめて ; semete 」-> at least

「その ; sono 」-> that

「先 ; saki ; 」-> the future; destination

「では ; dewa 」-> topic maker particle

「笑っていよう ; waratte iyou 」-> should smile

「と思っていた ; to omotteita 」-> was thinking

「のに ; noni 」-> even though; and yet

= “My options were limited, however, and yet I chose to live on my feet and thought I shall at least smile in the future.”

「私じゃ止められない。」

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「じゃ ; ja 」-> topic marker particle

「止められない ; tomerarenai 」-> couldn’t stop

= “I couldn’t stop him.”

Again, he’s thirteen. Maybe she didn’t read enlightenment books, but she sure should have read them. And also brought Touya to a therapist.

「そして。。。あなたは行かなかった。」

「そして ; soshite 」-> and

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「行かなかった ; ikanakatta 」-> didn’t go

= “And… you didn’t go.”

「出るな。。。！涙なんか。。。」

「出るな ; deruna 」-> don’t come out

「涙 ; namida 」-> tears

「なんか ; nanka 」-> expresses strong emotion; used to belittle something

= “Don’t come out…! Stupid tears…”

Nanka doesn’t really have an actual translation here, but the “stupid” from the official translation conveys that nuance of belittling something pretty well.

「。。。薪をくべてしまうだけだと。。。いや。。。」

「薪 ; maki 」-> firewood

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「くべてしまう ; kubete shimau 」-> to completely burn

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「だ ; da 」-> be

「と ; to 」-> quotation marker

「いや ; iya 」-> disagreeable

= “... I thought it’s only completely burning the firewood… no…”

The to could be interpreted in different ways since it can also mean “and” but here it makes more sense to go for what the official translation did, which is assuming that it’s the quotation marker which would normally be followed by omou (= to think).

「ちくしょう。。。」

「ちくしょう ; chikushou 」-> damn it

= “Damn it...”

「何と声を掛けたらいいのかわからなかったんだ。」

「何と ; nanto 」-> what

「声を掛けたらいい ; koe o kaketara ii 」-> should start talking (to)/ give vocal support (to)/ to let (somebody) know (声を掛けた + らいい)

「のか ; noka 」-> question marker particle seeking a clarification

「わからなかった ; wakaranakatta 」-> didn’t know 

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “I didn’t know what vocal support I should give.”

The official translation went for the more natural way of saying this, which is “I had no idea what to say to him.”

「おとうさ」

「お父さ ; otousa 」-> dad

= “Dad-”

「私もそうだった。」

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「そう ; sou 」-> in that way; so

「だった ; datta 」-> was

= “I was also like that…”

Something that bothers me a lot about this exchange is that they both claim they didn’t know what to say to Touya, which is a weird conclusion as to where things went wrong. First of all, Touya is in all honesty probably smarter than both his parents combined and despite the translation constantly trying to make him sound like he’s speaking his own language, he has always been someone well-spoken in the sense that he chooses his words carefully as seen by how he knew exactly what to say to Aizawa in the summer camp, how politely he spoke in his broadcast, etc. He knows how to word things in order to get specific reactions out of people and be perceived however he wants to be perceived by people. More importantly, though, he had made it very clear on multiple occasions growing up what his problems were. He was always clear about his needs - wanting to train with his dad, having his dad come to the mountain with him, etc. - yet here it sounds a little like he never voiced his feelings or was somehow unable to comprehend what his parents told him.

Second of all, saying they didn’t know what to say to him makes it feel more like the whole thing was just a one-time slip and not years and years of problems piling up until it all collapsed. They knew Touya wasn’t fine. They saw him try to attack Shouto, they knew that he continued training and didn’t stop, they knew he wanted Endeavor’s attention.

As mentioned earlier, their advice failed because neither of his parents could practice what they preached. Endeavor telling Touya to give up on his goal of surpassing All Might and becoming a hero failed because Endeavor himself couldn’t stop to the point he started a whole family in the hopes that one of his children could do what he wasn’t able to. Rei telling Touya that he looks like he’s suffering and that he should find out who he really wants to become failed because Touya was aware that Rei didn’t marry Endeavor out of her own will but for her parents’ sake. And the thing is, he told them. He told them both that this advice wasn’t good enough, and then they just gave up. One piece of advice was what they deemed trying hard enough and now they boil it down to “I didn’t know what to say to him” even though the real reason Touya “died” was because they gave up on him from the start.

「わあっ。」

「わあっ ; waa 」-> Waa

= “Waa.”

「あれは熱かったな。」

「あれ ; are 」-> that

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「熱かった ; atsukatta 」-> was hot

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

= “That was hot, wasn’t it.”

「あつ。。。！止まらない！炎がー！！」

「あつ ; atsu 」-> hot

「止まらない ; tomaranai 」-> can’t stop

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

= “Hot…! I can’t stop! The flames are-!!”

「ま自業自得だよな。」

「ま ; ma 」-> well; you might say

「自業自得 ; jigoujitoku 」-> paying for one’s mistakes; getting one’s just deserts; suffering the consequences (of one’s own actions); reap what you sow

「だ ; da 」-> be

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

= “Well, you reap what you sow, don’t you?”

I know we all made fun of the “that’s just deserts'' line in the official translation, but that is, in fact, one of the actual dictionary definitions of jigoujitoku. And to be fair, Touya was a smart kid. Maybe he just knows all these strange expressions no one ever uses. Maybe the official translation is onto something here… but to the rest of us, who never heard anyone say this before, it just sounds weird. Maybe we’re just all too stupid for Dabi… 

「火力の上げ方しか教えてくれなかったもんなあ。」

「火力 ; karyoku」-> heating/firepower

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「上げ ; age 」-> raising

「方 ; kata 」-> way of; method of

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「教えてくれなかった ; oshiete kurenakatta 」-> taught (教えて + くれなかった)

「もん ; mon 」-> because; indicates reason/ excuse/ dissatisfaction

「なあ ; naa 」-> used to say something emotionally when looking back on the past

= “Looking back, he only taught me the way of raising the firepower.”

Again, the kure in oshiete kurenakatta is used when saying that something was done for the speaker.

When speaking to yourself, naa at the end of the sentence can be used when reflecting on the past, as Dabi does here, which makes it sound like he wasn’t necessarily aware of this before or at least wasn’t aware of it back then. I know there were some people when the spoilers came out that claimed that Touya had obviously faked his death on purpose, but aside from nothing pointing to that as it is, this part makes it especially obvious that he didn’t do it on purpose. Touya was clearly surprised that his fire grew so strong there and that he was unable to stop it. And the naa here indicates that if he had been aware back then that he never learned how to properly control his flames, then he might have been able to prevent this incident from happening.

「あの日全て諦めていれば。」

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「日 ; hi 」-> day

「全て ; subete 」-> all; everything

「諦めていれば ; akirameteireba 」-> had given up (conditional)

= “If only I had given everything up that day.”

THIS would have to be about the saddest sentences in this chapter and I haven’t really seen a lot of people mention this. This is Dabi reflecting on the day where his life completely changed and although he just had quite a success by revealing his identity and broadcasting the truth about his family to the whole country, he’s looking back on the day he almost died and thinks “if only I had given everything up on that day.” If you didn’t think he was suicidal before, here is your proof. Yes, he’s freer now in the sense that Endeavor can’t tell him what to do anymore (not like that worked before anyway), but this is still not the life little Touya had wanted. He wanted to be a hero and someone his father could be proud of, and yet here he is as a villain whose sole purpose is to kill Endeavor. So not only is he still not free from his life being dictated by Endeavor, but he also turned himself into someone he never wanted to be. While revealing his true identity to the country was somewhat of a victory for him, it doesn’t change that he won’t ever get back all the years Endeavor took from him. He might be fighting, but deep down he’d rather just be dead.

「燈矢を殺してしまったことで後に引けなくなっていた。。。焦凍に傾倒する他。。。なくなっていた。」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「殺してしまった ; koroshiteshimatta 」-> was killed completely (殺して + しまった)

「ことで ; koto de 」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「後に引けなくなっていた ; ato ni hikenaku natteita 」-> couldn’t stop

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> to

「傾倒する ; keitou suru 」-> to devote oneself to

「他なくなっていた ; hoka naku natteita 」-> can do nothing but; have no other choice but

= “I couldn’t stop after I completely killed Touya… I couldn’t do anything except devoting myself to Shouto.”

As mentioned before, verb + shimau can mean that an action was done completely, but it can also mean that something was done regrettably. This is one of those cases, where both meanings can apply. Endeavor completely killed Touya, thus Dabi was born, but this is also regrettable since Touya shouldn’t have died. It’s just weird to admit that you're responsible (and cry about it in front of your victims) and then also blame the victim for how you treated your other victim.

「燈矢が消えて。。。エスカレートしていくあなたが悍ましくて。。。こどもたちにまで面影を見るようになってしまった。」

「エスカレートしていく ; esukareeto shite iku 」-> to continue escalating

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悍ましくて ; ozomashikute 」-> disgusting; repulsive

「こどもたち ; kodomotachi 」-> children

「に ; ni 」-> in

「まで ; made 」-> until

「面影 ; omokage 」-> face

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見る ; miru 」-> to see

「ようになってしまった」-> completely reached the point that

= “Continuing to escalate, you were repulsive... until I completely reached the point of seeing your face in the children.”

Okay, first things first. Rei’s line created a lot of confusion since it contradicts what Fuyumi says in chapter 250, where she mentions that Touya died shortly after Rei was hospitalized. This tweet from the official bnha twitter account states that the “Touya disappeared and…” part in Rei’s line in this chapter was a mistake and will be erased in the volume release, so I didn’t include that part in here. I do think that this scene overall makes no sense, then, though, since the idea here is that Touya’s “death” made Endeavor worse, made Endeavor become abusive, made Rei pour the boiling hot water on Shouto, made Endeavor put Rei into a mental hospital. But that’s not true.

Endeavor saying that he started to obsess over Shouto after Touya died is also weird, since we all know that he was already obsessed with him before and didn’t pay attention to any of the other children, which is exactly what led to Touya dying when Endeavor couldn’t even be bothered to go to the mountain with him one time.

「壊れてるのを知りながら。。。怖くて踏み込めなかった。。。上っ面で繕うことしか。。。してこなかった。」

「壊れてる ; kowareteru 」-> to be broken

「のを ; no o 」-> nominalizer + object marker

「知り ; shiri 」-> to know; to be aware of

「ながら ; nagara 」-> while

「怖くて ; kowakute 」-> scary

「踏み込めなかった ; fumikomenakatta 」-> wasn’t able to step into

「上っ面 ; uwattsura 」-> surface; apppearances

「で ; de 」-> at

「繕う ; tsukurou 」-> to fix; to cover up (mistakes); to keep up appearances

「こと ; koto 」-> things

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「してこなかった ; shite konakatta 」-> continued to do

= “While I knew it was broken... I was scared and unable to step in… I only continued to… fix things on the surface.”

Tsukurou has several meanings like “to fix” and “to keep up appearances” so that’s probably why the official translation included both meanings here. The Japanese also only says “scared” and not “too scared” like the official English translation, though this is most likely just done to make it sound more natural. Another difference is that in the official translation, Fuyumi says “All I could do” whereas in Japanese she said that she “only continued to” fix things on the surface. The panel also shows a small flashback of Endeavor dragging Touya away and Rei trying to stop him, while Fuyumi is standing in the background and slightly turned away. She’s shown in the sailor uniform that is typically worn by middle school students, so she would be around 12 years old, which was around the time Touya “died” - obviously at that age there wasn’t really anything she could have done against Endeavor so the translation isn’t entirely incorrect, however, judging by Touya telling Natsuo that he can’t talk to Fuyumi because she doesn’t understand, it seems like she probably always tried to remain impartial instead of siding with her older brother. While she couldn’t have stopped Endeavor, she could have at least been there for Touya as emotional support - which, might I add, is her whole purpose for existing - so that’s why saying that she “continued to” only fix things on the surface is a more accurate line.

「全部あなたが始めた事であなたが原因だーでも

俺がぶん殴って燈矢兄と向かい合わせてやれてたら。。。荼毘は生まれてなくて焦凍に盛り蕎麦をご馳走してやれてたかもしれない。」

「全部 ; zenbu 」-> all

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「始めた ; hajimeta 」-> to start

「事 ; koto 」-> situation; incident

「で ; de 」-> and

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「原因 ; genin 」-> cause

「だ ; da 」-> be

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「ぶん殴って ; bunnagutte 」-> to hit hard; to give a hard blow

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「と ; to 」-> with

「向かい合わせてやれて ; mukaiawasete yarete 」-> let someone face each other

「たら ; tara 」-> if

「荼毘 ; dabi 」-> Dabi

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「生まれてなくて ; umaretenakute 」-> wouldn’t have been born

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> to

「盛り蕎麦 ; mori soba 」-> cold soba

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「ご馳走してやれてた ; gochisou shite yareteta 」-> to treat someone to a meal

「かもしれない ; kamoshirenai 」-> may; might; possibly

= “You started all of this situation and you are the cause - but if I had hit you hard and could have let you face Touya-Nii, then Dabi wouldn’t have been born and he might have been able to treat Shouto to mori soba.”

The yarete that appears twice in this sentence is the potential form of yaru, which is used when something is given/done for someone from someone with higher status to someone with lower status. In combination with the causative form (making someone do something) as is the case with mukaiawasete, it changes the nuance from simply making someone do something to allow someone to do something.

Concerning this line, there was a huge difference between the fan translation that I read and the official translation. While the official translation matches with the Japanese line by having Natsuo say that he should have punched Endeavor (can we appreciate how funny that would have been, but also sad if TWO of your children have to stand up to you because you mistreat another family member), the fan translation that I first read had Natsuo say that he should have punched and faced Touya, which is a very different message. Fortunately, that doesn’t make sense and isn’t the actual line, though.

More importantly, mori soba??? I thought Shouto’s favorite kind of soba was zaru soba (it’s basically the same, but zaru soba has nori seaweed on top)… 

「責任はあなただけのものじゃない。今回のことは私たち全員の責任。心が砕け��も私たちが立たせます。あなたは荼毘と戦うしかないの。」

「責任 ; sekinin 」-> responsibility

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「もの ; mono 」-> thing

「じゃない ; janai 」-> isn’t

「今回 ; konkai 」-> this time

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「こと ; koto 」-> situation; circumstance

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「全員 ; zenin 」-> all members; everyone

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「責任 ; sekinin 」-> responsibility

「心 ; kokoro 」-> heart

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「砕けて ; kudakeru 」-> breaking

「も ; mo 」-> even if

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「立たせます ; tatasemasu 」-> make someone stand up

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「荼毘 ; dabi 」-> Dabi

「と ; to 」-> with

「戦う ; tatakau 」-> to fight

「しかない ; shika nai 」-> have no choice but

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

= “The responsibility isn’t only yours. We are all responsible for this time’s circumstances. Even if your heart is breaking, we will make you stand up. You have no choice but to fight Dabi.”

This is one of those lines that really make you wonder whether the character is supposed to be like that or if the author just doesn’t understand what he’s writing. It’s questionable - to say the least - to say they are all responsible this time. While I continue to wonder how the non-heroes of the family are supposed to do anything here, why would a mother expect her children to be part of this? They are civilians and she expects them to somehow take care of saving their villain brother? Sorry, but she wasn’t even able to stop Touya from going outside to train, and now she expects her children to do better than her? No.

There’s also something very odd about her referring to him as Dabi. I understand that this is done to say that they intend on fighting Dabi and not Touya, and it’s true that Touya is in a way dead and Dabi was born instead. However, the problem with this idea of fighting “Dabi” is that it suggests that Dabi could somehow be killed while Touya survives when that is not at all how helping somehow who has been traumatized works. You can’t just reset him and somehow get him back to the state he was in prior to the traumatic experience (especially when the traumatic experience was basically his whole life). They won’t be able to just kill Dabi and have him go back to who he used to be because he has never been allowed to just be himself. Dabi is now a part of him. And not just that, but Dabi is the result of the trauma and thus functions as Touya’s surviving mechanism. This doesn’t mean that Dabi can’t be redeemed or be saved, it’s just that this idea of fighting Dabi and removing Dabi from Touya is bound to end in failure because that’s an impossible task and, again, the wrong approach to this.

Why exactly is a mother asking her and her children’s abuser to fight her child? Them going against Touya is what caused Dabi’s existence in the first place, which is what the conversation is more or less about, and yet she continues to think that fighting him is the right option here? A lot of people have suggested that this is done to cause a problem later down the line with Hawks and Best Jeanist listening in on the conversation and probably assuming the family doesn’t intend on saving Dabi in any way. But this is still a somewhat weak argument for two reasons: One, Hawks and Best Jeanist talk with the Todofam in chapter 303 and tell them that they will help to fight Dabi, so them teaming up means they should discuss this a little more and with that, there shouldn’t be any problems in terms of communication; and two, anything that happens in a story still has to be believable. If there is an issue or conflict it’s absolutely vital to convince the readers that this couldn’t somehow be prevented or easily resolved. But Rei isn’t vague here. She literally talks about Endeavor having to fight Dabi. So even if this is just in order for the other characters to misunderstand her, I do find it odd for a mother to suggest that her abusive husband should fight their child instead of finally acting like a parent and saving this child.

Until we know what exactly the family is going to do, we can’t determine whether this is just Horikoshi’s writing or if he intentionally made Rei like this, but for now, this just seems like a really weird thing to say. And even Endeavor can see this as shown in the next line:

「おまえ。。。本当に。。。冷か。。。？」

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「か ; ka 」-> question marker particle

= “You… are you really… Rei…?”

「私たちよりよっぽど辛いハズの子が恨んで当然の私を再びお母さんと呼んでくれた。」

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> us

「より ; yori 」-> than

「よっぽど ; yoppodo 」-> greatly; to a large extent

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> painful; difficult (emotionally)

「ハズ ; hazu 」-> ought to; should be

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「恨んで ; urande 」-> to bear a grudge against; to resent

「当然 ; touzen 」-> it’s natural to

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「再び ; futatabi 」-> again; once more

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「と呼んでくれた ; to yondekureta 」-> called (と呼んで + くれた)

= “It’s natural for the child that should be in more pain than us to resent me. He called me mom again.”

Originally, I thought this was about Touya since these chapters are about his backstory. But then someone asked me whether this was actually about Shouto and someone else also pointed out that the next line is about Shouto, so it makes more sense that this is about him. And this is what I mean when I say that this writing is contradictory. How do they all reflect on the past, recognize that they didn’t understand Touya and neglected him and didn’t know how to be parents to him, but then say that Shouto is the one that suffered more than the rest of them? Obviously, it’s not a competition, and comparing who has it the worst is not helpful at all, but Dabi is literally alone right now and has been alone his whole life, while Shouto at least has his family and emotional support right now. Do they not hear what they are saying? How are they so dumb? Shouto also literally never resented you or stopped calling you mom, so maybe shift your focus to Touya? No wonder he left.

「雄英高校でお友だちをつくって私たちをつなぎとめてくれた。焦凍が轟家（ウチ）のヒーローになってくれたのよ。」

「雄英高校 ; yuuei koukou 」-> U.A. High School

「で ; de 」-> at

「お友だち ; otomodachi 」-> friends

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくって ; tsukutte 」-> to make

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つなぎとめてくれた ; tsunagitomete kureta 」-> saved (someone’s life)

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「轟家 ; todoroki uchi 」-> Todoroki household

「ウチ ; uchi 」-> one’s own family

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になってくれた ; ni natte kureta 」-> became

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “He made friends at U.A. and saved us. Shouto has really become our hero.”

Here we have another case of Kanji and Furigana being different. While the Kanji (what the character means) says “Todoroki household” the Furigana (what the character says) simply says “One’s family” and to be honest, I’m not entirely sure why there is a difference here. Like yes, obviously, by family she’s referring to the Todoroki family.

Anyway, this is probably the worst sentence in this entire chapter. There is nothing inherently bad about saying that Shouto is a good person and that he helped his family. However, he is a literal child. A minor. And a victim in this, just like his siblings - just like Touya. None of the kids are responsible for their family’s well-being or for correcting their parents’ mistakes, and yet here we are. Shouto shouldn’t have to be the family’s hero and feel the need to save his brother just because both his parents failed to be parents. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Endeavor wouldn’t possibly get through to Dabi now (although realistically, Natsuo is the only one that could really get through to him) so it makes sense to get Shouto involved. But everyone praising him just further shows their inability to recognize that this exact mindset is what caused the problems in the first place. This whole idea of someone - specifically Shouto - being the one in the family who is able to be a great hero is what was part of Touya’s mental downfall. It’s also a harmful statement to make in general, as it pushes the “good victim, bad victim” mentality, where Shouto is seen as the good victim for being able to stay on a good path, live his life in a normal way and still speak with his parents, whereas Touya ended up turning himself into a villain and essentially throwing his whole life away in order to ruin Endeavor’s life, too. Aside from the fact that this mentality is problematic in itself by making it seem like there’s a right and wrong way to be a victim and that people who end up not being able to just move on from their trauma are somehow worthless and don’t deserve to get help, this sentence also shows the problem the family has: not learning from the past. Despite all the self-reflection we’re shown in this chapter with each family member expressing what they did wrong, they then continue to not change at all and just continue to demonize Touya. They are taking responsibility and admitting that they were wrong, just ignoring the problems and not saying the right things to him, but by claiming that Shouto is the hero of the family they continue to neglect why Touya ended up the way he did. Shouto was supported in reaching his goals. Obviously, Endeavor wanted Shouto to become a hero, but Shouto also always wanted to be a hero on his own accord. His mom reassured him that he could be whatever hero he wanted to be and not just be the next Endeavor. He was always supported both in his journey of becoming a hero and also emotionally through his family and his friends. That isn’t to say that he is somehow less of a victim, but it’s important to acknowledge that the reason he ended up on the “good path” was that he had people that reminded him that he wasn’t Endeavor and that he was free to be his own person. He was never held back from reaching his goals.

Touya, on the other hand, received the exact opposite treatment. He was kept from pursuing his goal and was only met with cheap excuses as to why he shouldn’t train, yet none of those arguments ever worked on him and so he continued to train on his own for almost ten years. Despite both his parents knowing about this, they never did more than just say “stop training” and thus actively ignored his problems. Even when he lashed out to Rei, she just watched as he walked away. It’s not surprising he calls her and Fuyumi useless when both of them sided with Endeavor instead of acknowledging his pain. Of course, he was going to end up on a “bad path” when he didn’t have a proper support system.

So saying that Shouto is the family’s hero might sound like an innocent compliment at first glance, but it only further shows how little the family understands why Touya has become Dabi, which becomes a bigger problem when they want to save him, something they won’t be able to do as long as they continue to fail to really see him and his pain.

「ここに。。。来る前お母さんと話した。おまえが。。。もう戦えねェと思って俺がやるしかねェって思ってた。。。でも違うみてえだ。」

「ここ ; koko 」-> here

「に ; ni 」-> to

「来る ; kuru 」-> to come

「前 ; mae」-> before

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「と ; to 」-> with

「話した ; hanashita 」-> spoke

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> yet

「戦えねェ ; tatakaenee 」-> unable to fight/ compete against

「と思って ; to omotte 」-> thought

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「やる ; yaru 」-> to do

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「ねェっ ; neee 」-> not

「て思ってた ; te omotteta 」-> was thinking

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「違う ; chigau 」-> to differ

「みてえ ; mitee 」-> looks; seems

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Here… before coming, I spoke with mom. You… I thought you couldn’t fight anymore and I was thinking only I would do it.... but, it seems different.”

「泣き終わったら立てよ。皆で燈矢兄を止めに行こう」

「泣き終わったら ; nakiowattara 」-> when you’re done crying

「立て ; tate 」-> stand up

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> everyone

「で ; de 」-> with

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「止めに行こう ; tome ni ikou 」-> let’s go stop

= “When you’re done crying, stand up. Let’s go stop Touya-Nii with everyone.”

Anyway, that concludes the comparison for chapter 302, which took a while to make because, to be honest, this is a very odd chapter. I know people continue to view this as the Todofam intending on saving Dabi, but the problem is simply that the present time scenes don’t really make sense in context with the flashbacks. Endeavor crying for three chapters straight somehow symbolizes that he regrets the past and has changed when in reality, none of them fully understand where everything went wrong and are trying to fix the problem incorrectly. It feels a bit as though they are downplaying what happened and how much Endeavor and Rei are responsible for Dabi’s existence by simply boiling it down to them not knowing what to say to Touya and by having both Fuyumi and Natsuo say they are also responsible without their parents telling them that they were children and thus could not possibly be held responsible the same way.

Personally, I’m glad that the focus seems to be shifting away from this storyline for now because it was really hard to read this chapter with all these weird lines. While I do continue to hope that Dabi will be redeemed and saved by the end of the story, I also still think that Horikoshi isn’t writing this in a good way, considering the contradictions and the constant “good vs. bad victim” mentality that all these characters are constantly voicing paired with the really odd ways characters are acting at the moment (= Rei in chapter 303???). It’s odd they want Endeavor to be involved in this and even weirder that they (in chapter 303) accept Hawks and Best Jeanist wanting to be part of this too, when they all saw the broadcast and thus all saw that Hawks killed Twice, aka Dabi’s friend and someone on the same side as him, which makes it feel like they are either too dumb to realize or simply don’t care that there is a high chance that Hawks is just going to end up killing (or at least trying to) Dabi, too. It’s also odd that Rei is apologizing to both Hawks and Best Jeanist since Dabi hasn’t done anything to Best Jeanist so what’s up with that? Anyway, she better apologize to Dabi too...

Anyway, so right now, the translation differences aren’t so much a problem as the writing in itself is and for now, we will probably have to wait a while to see how this storyline will continue and how exactly they plan on taking care of Dabi. 

Thanks for reading!

[bookishofalder]

Pretty Girl

Pairing - Flip Zimmerman X Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, swearing, smoking, crime, (eventual) smut, racism (no slurs), sexism, general views/language of the time. 

A/N: Well, here’s the prologue to the multi-chapter fic I’m working on! I hope you enjoy, feedback welcome and appreciated, especially if you notice any over-description of the reader! This is a female reader based fic.

Flip Zimmerman sauntered into the Colorado Springs police department early Monday morning, his black hair in need of a trim, a bit of a shadow darkening his unshaven face. He’d had the previous week off, after wrapping up the Klan investigation with Jimmy and Ron. The chief had insisted they each take some time, and Flip ended up taking the whole week, though he knew his partner opted to simply take a day, and Ron only a few more than that. 

But Flip had needed the break-the case had exhausted him. It had drained him mentally to pretend to be one of the Klan, to agree with their views and utter slurs as if they rolled naturally off of his tongue. No, he had felt each moment with them chip away a little at his soul. So he took the time off; went fishing, watched television, did some work on his home, and spent some time with his family, who rarely got to see him. He didn’t live far from his parents, but with the hours he took on, it had been hard to visit often. They understood, but Flip knew his mother wished he would settle down, start a family of his own. She hated that he came home to an empty house, with no warm meal ready and waiting. Flip didn’t mind it so much, he was too busy at work to notice the void.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

Flip wasn’t at his desk for more than twenty minutes before Jimmy came in, all smiles for Flip’s reappearance.

“Flip, welcome back kid.” Clapping his shoulder, Jimmy sank into his chair and fixed Flip with a knowing stare from across their desks. Flip frowned, wondering what had his friend in a chipper mood early on a Monday morning.

“Jimmy, the fuck are you staring at?” Flip grumbled though the threat in his voice was laced with affection for the man he’d called 'partner' for years now. 

More detectives and office workers began to filter in, coffees in hand, all greeting Flip with casual ease before they settled in and began their workdays. 

Jimmy shook his head, “Nothing, just glad to see your miserable face back, it’s been an interesting week.” The mischievous glint in his eyes said otherwise. 

Flip didn’t look up at Jimmy’s words, merely smirking in response. He noticed then a neat stack of files on the left-hand side of his desk. When he grabbed the first, curious, he saw it was a case file of his, only it had been organized, and some of the sections of the report had been filled out for him. He stared a moment, shocked, before glancing up at Jimmy-whole was, annoyingly, still watching Flip.

He held up the file, “You do this, Jimmy?” 

But he was shaking his head before Flip finished speaking, “Nah don’t like you enough.” He didn’t elaborate and Flip was too stubborn to press the issue. Whatever. 

Flip glanced at the other files and saw they were the same. Someone had taken his paperwork, organized it and fill in the sections that were mostly clerical information, before returning them to his desk for him to finalize and submit. He had come in early specifically to finish off these files, and now his two-hour backlog was reduced to maybe thirty minutes of work. Impressed, and grateful, he began to work through the stack with his notes. He wasn’t going to say it out loud, but the gesture-wherever it came from-was more than welcome. Paperwork was the least appealing part of this job.

At nine, the station was buzzing with activity normal for weekdays. Ron had greeted Flip warmly when he came in, advising him that Sergeant Trapp wanted to see them in his office in an hour, before moving to his desk and checking his messages. And while it felt like any other day in Colorado Springs, Flip, ever the detective, noticed the moment the atmosphere in the bullpen shifted. Every man in the room seemed far too damn chipper. 

He glanced up from proofreading his work to find many of his colleagues glancing toward the glass wall and doorway that led to the hallway, beyond which and out of sight, was the front lobby and administration desk. 

After a few moments, Flip turned his chair to face Ron, whose desk was behind his own, only to see his friend doing the same thing. He frowned, “The hell is everyone in a tizzy for, Rookie?”

Ron grinned, “Chief hired a new secretary for the front desk-“

“What, Donna finally got herself a helper?” Flip cut in, referring to the homely but overworked secretary that had been asking for a second in command for years, during which team the operation of the division had nearly doubled.

“Yep,” Ron nodded, “And Donna already looks like it’s made a world of difference for her, but wait until you meet, she’s incredible. Nicest lady I’ve ever met.” 

Flip rolled his eyes at this proclamation and spun back around, stacking his files together. He was glad to hear Donna had the help she needed now, it was a long time coming and would certainly make a difference for the entire station. Donna was like the mother hen, taking care of everything from coffee to endless paperwork, dealing with the public that came in, and everything else they could throw at her. She never complained, but always made the point of saying things would happen quicker if she were two people. He wondered what it would be like to have another Donna type woman in the office, but intended on giving it no further thought.

That is until he heard the distinct click of heels coming down the hallway, and glanced up, half interested, at the sound. 

He did a double-take when he saw her and felt himself freeze. Stunned into stillness, Flip immediately felt that Ron using the term ‘incredible’ to describe the new secretary was entirely understating this woman. Everyone’s heads in the room turned her way, and it wasn’t just anyone who could unknowingly conjure up that kind of reaction.

Dressed in a fashionably smart secretary dress, which was a shade of dark blue that perfectly accentuated her skin, the woman was breathtaking. Curvy, with long (Y/H/C) spilling down her back in soft waves, she wore kitten heels that gave her a small amount of extra height, yet she was still short. She walked with an air of peaceful grace, carrying a large basket in her arms. But it was her smile, dazzling and genuine, that captured his attention.

Flip had to shake his head slightly, dragging his eyes away from the beautiful creature dancing into the bullpen. He refocused on his files, hoping to look busy, all the while straining his ears to hear her speak.

“Happy Monday, boys.” She sang, and a chorus of good mornings and hello’s filled the air, “I hope you like banana bread because I’ve got two fresh loaves here, one plain and one with chocolate chips-Jimmy, I made that for you.” And Flip looked up in surprise in time to see her wink at Jimmy, who gave an appreciative laugh, then thanked her. 

She had set the basket down next to the water station, where there was a small foldout table set up. Sure enough, she pulled out two loaves of bread, already cut and laid out in smaller basket trays for them. She made quick work of setting out the loaves, plates and napkins before reaching into the basket, pulling something out she had wrapped in sandwich paper, and spinning around toward Flip.

He dropped his gaze before she noticed him, now making work of organizing his desk-why the hell was he suddenly so nervous? From behind him, Flip heard Ron give a small groan, “Tell me you didn’t.” But he sounded delighted.

“Ron, of course I did, don’t be so silly, it’s nothing.” This captured Flip’s attention entirely, and he gave up the pretence of tidying his desk to turn around and see what she had passed him. Inside the wrap was a slice of pineapple upside-down cake. Ron pinched a piece off with his fingers and tried it, giving an appreciative nod.

“That’s just like I remember, thank you.” He noticed Flip watching with a frown and grinned, “Oh, now, you two haven’t met yet, Flip’s just come back from vacation.” He clapped his hands together. 

Flip looked away from Ron and met the (y/e/c) eyes of the young woman standing a few feet away, who wasn’t much taller standing than Flip was seated. She reacted first, though Flip did notice her eyes widen slightly before she stepped forward, all smiles.

“Detective Zimmerman, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m (Y/F/N).” She stuck her hand out. Flip automatically grasped it, noticing how entirely tiny her hand was in his own. 

He tried to smile, “It’s nice to meet you, miss. Please, call me Flip.” She smiled at his words and Flip suddenly felt like his brain might be needing a jump start, as it was the prettiest smile he’d ever had directed at him. He felt warm and craved a cigarette. Or a cold shower. 

“Well, Flip, only if you call me (y/n).” 

Ron had watched the entire exchange with a shit-eating grin on his face, “(Y/N) here is an amazing baker, in addition to her many other skills that Donna can’t stop raving about, so before you know it, Zimmerman, you’ll be sporting a few extra pounds.” 

(Y/N) giggled. Truly giggled, and Flip found himself surveying her, trying to decide how old she was. She carried herself with a confidence and ease that seemed mature, yet she did appear youthful in many ways. “It’s what I’m known for, leaving heavyset men behind me everywhere I go.” She held up her hands, as if in defence of herself. 

Flip snorted, “And you take special requests?” He asked, nodding at the cake on Rons' desk.

“Oh, well that was actually what I baked for Sunday supper for my sister and me,” She leaned against Ron’s desk, her hands neatly folded in front of her, “And when I told Ron here what I was planning, he asked for a slice because I make it like his aunt used to.” She shrugged, giving Ron a friendly smile.

“It tastes exactly like hers, (Y/N), you’re the best.” 

“You two seem awfully, uh, close.” Flip remarked, and while Ron seemed unfazed and unbothered by the comment, he noticed that (Y/N) seemed to flinch slightly at the words, her smile disappearing. 

Flip knew he was a gruff, grumpy son of a bitch, but he was also always like that, and no one ever seemed to care. Now though, the tone and accusation that she might have assumed from his observation seemed to hit a nerve, and her demeanour shifted, embarrassed.

“Oh, yes, well Ron’s been a gem, being pretty new here himself. He’s helped show me the ropes,” She murmured, “I should get back to it-nice to meet you, Detective.” And she hurried away, still taking time to greet those she passed, before disappearing down the hall.

“Man, Zimmerman, you have a way with the ladies.” Ron deadpanned, shaking his head at Flip, who was staring toward the hallway feeling both annoyed and guilty. He glared at Ron, who was shaking his head, a hand clapped dramatically to his face, “A real Romeo.”

“Fuck off, Rookie,” He growled. A thought jumped at him then, “Wait, is she the one who did all this-‘ He gestured at his files ‘While I was off?”

Ron rolled his eyes now, “Of course she did-she helps everyone stay on top of paperwork. When I told her you were off last week, she made a point of getting you all caught up.” Again, Flip stared down the hall, his mind working. 

He just wasn’t very good at socializing, or making friends. He was gruff and sarcastic and his sheer size usually kept others at a distance. He had a hard time knowing the right thing to say, especially to someone as pretty and kind as (Y/N). He hadn’t thought his words would come out the way they did, sounding accusatory, and he wished he could take them back. 

- 

Over an hour later, Flip was still replaying the interaction in his mind, over and over. When he, Ron and Jimmy re-emerged from Sarge’s office, new assignments in hand, he had come to a decision. He had never been one to simply leave something unaddressed, not if it bothered him. And while he was certainly terrible at socializing, he would never stand for himself to be ungentlemanly. First impressions were important, and he intended to correct this one.

While Ron and Jimmy continued toward the bullpen, Flip turned right and stomped down the hallway, entirely missing his friends exchange a knowing look behind his back. As he approached the front desk, his eyes peeled looking for her (y/h/c) hair, he was surprised to notice how tidy and welcoming it now looked. 

(Y/N) had made quick work of reorganizing and decorating, which was probably why Donna was nowhere to be found, no doubt in the files room making work of the backlog she’d been complaining about for years. Flip figured she must be in the best mood of her life. 

The reception was empty, however, and Flip wondered where (Y/N) must be. He continued to march forward, considering if he should look around for her, or wait at the desk, when a door on his left, which led to the bathrooms, opened. Before Flip could stop, she was suddenly hurrying out of the doorway and slammed directly into his side, gasping in surprise.

Flip had just managed to turn his body slightly toward her before they collided, allowing his arms to shoot out and large hands to grab her shoulders as she bounced off of him and fell backwards. Steadying her, he peered, “Damn it, darling, I’m sorry-are you alright?” 

She was wide-eyed, her head tilted back to meet his eyes. He released her, taking a polite half step back. “I’m fine, goodness, I should apologize, I ran out of there like a bat out of hell.” Her hands moved to her waist, where her dress tie sat, and began to redo the knot absentmindedly. 

Flip raised a brow, “Something scare ya?” When her face flushed at his words, his eyes drank in the sight, heart rate speeding somewhat. He watching her curiously.

“I, um,” She sighed, her eyes closing briefly as if attempting to find the strength to speak, “It’s silly, I was washing my hands and noticed a big spider and I really, really hate spiders-I live alone and I can never kill them easily, I always get the broom so I can stay far back, so I thought I’d run out here and find a broom-“ Abruptly, she stopped speaking when Flip began to laugh, and after a moment of uncertainty, a smile spread across her face-dazzling white teeth on display.

“I can kill it for ya’, no need to resort to desperate measures,” He joked, happy to see his words cause her to giggle slightly, “But do me a favour?” He added, his expression becoming serious. 

(Y/N) glanced up at him curiously, “What’s that, detective?”

Flip took a breath, “Accept my apology, for earlier,” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, “I’m a grumpy S-O-B and my words came out harsher than I intended, I only meant to tease. I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously as he spoke.

She seemed to consider his words for a moment, crossing her arms across her chest, a small smile on her pretty lips. Flip kept his eyes on her face, not wanting to be disrespectful by ogling her, but it was impossible not to notice the way her bust pressed out when her arms wrapped under them. He needed a cigarette. And probably a proper smack around the head. 

“Of course I accept, detective,” (Y/N) was smiling properly now, “Jimmy warned me you were a mean lumberjack-his word, not mine. I just-“ She paused, “Worried I’d given the wrong impression, is all. I’ve got a good work ethic and don’t want anyone thinking I’m silly or chatty over hardworking.” 

Flip was surprised at how serious her tone turned, her words heavy with concern. “You organized all my files for me, while I was off?” 

“Yes-why?” 

Flip laughed, “Darling, that knocked two hours of painful catch-up off my plate and we hadn’t even met before, I can already tell you’re impressive, so if anyone here ever tries to question that, you send them to me.” He huffed, glancing at the bathroom door, “I’ll go kill that monster in there for you.” 

She had flushed again at his words, something that sent a jolt of electricity through his core. Flip realized he was well and truly fucked for this woman, and he’d only known her an hour.

“Wait,” He paused at the door to the bathrooms, glancing back. She was giving him her best little grin now, “Thank you, Flip.” 

He merely nodded, before stepping through the doorway to kill the damned spider.

Although, he thought, maybe he should thank it instead.

Chapter 1

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

[jedivszombie]

Okay gang, since there are a bunch of anons going fucking wild across the dash tonight about some joking posts about Mark Webber and Ann Neal - that were someone’s shocked reaction to the age difference between them. I thought it would be interesting to go on a little journey together. 

This little journey is the story of how Ann and Mark met, and will hopefully give you guys some insight as to why the ‘sexism’ and ‘ageism’ arguments you are currently using are bullshit - and why using these words in such a buzzword way actually is not the kind of critical thinking you think it is. And why this situation is more akin to a student and teacher starting a relationship - which I think we can all agree is not advisable, even if you don’t know why.

Below the cut is going to be a little discussion of Mark and Ann the early days; the reason the age difference is iffy at best and fucked up at worst; and, a little discussion about how these situations require nuance and the ways in which f1blr often likes to blow situations out of proportion. 

I have split it into three parts:

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy. (tw: for racism here, be careful)

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

A little disclaimer for you guys: I do not pretend to know anything about this relationship, other than what is readily available to learn about it from what they themselves have put out about it. I am just providing a timeline and some facts. Whatever conclusions you draw from it are your own.

Feel free to come for me if you so desire. 

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

We start our story in Australia in February, 1994. Mark is competing in Australian Formula Ford Championship and Ann Neal is the new media and PR officer for the category. This is their first meeting. Just so we know what’s up here Mark was 17 at the time, and Ann was absolutely an adult (apparently there is a 13 year age gap, which may not sound like much but we will get onto that later, which makes her roughly 30 when they first met). 

Some key things to be aware of from this first meeting: 

Mark is 17, Ann is about 30. Mark is a young racer, Ann is the media and PR officer for the category he races in. 

In an excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 57 to be exact, we get to find out what Ann had to say about the first time they met: 

“She thought I was a bit of a smart-arse when we first met. ‘But I liked how bold and cheeky he was,’ she says, ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’”

In another excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 61, Mark tells us other things Ann remembers about their first meeting:

“Ann remembers our first meeting and my opening remark about her being so important. She can even remember what I was wearing – a stripey green and red top, one of those United Colors of Benetton things – so that was pretty prophetic, as things turned out!” 

Now this may sound extremely cute to some of you, like they’re just having a normal ‘aww remember how we met’ moment. But let me please re-direct your attention back to the fact that Mark is 17 (and still not an adult yet if this is what you are gonna nitpick about) and Ann is very much an adult, in a position of power. 

So, a teenager makes a quip about how important you are and you commit to memory what he was wearing the day it happened? 

Now let’s bring in the first quote I put up there where Ann herself was recalling the first time they met. I would like to draw your attention to the following sentence: ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’

Hmmmm, where have we all heard language like this used before? If, like me, you have some experience of adults trying to start inappropriate relationships with you as a teenager then you will be very familiar to this sort of language. The emphasis is on how mature he seemed, is what’s sticking out for me here tbh.

Now, if this had been a fleeting meeting, and they had met again a few years later, I would be more on board for whatever justification some of the anons have been trying to use. However, it wasn’t. 

Again from Aussie Grit, p.61:

“After that first meeting we kept in touch. My family sometimes met up with Ann and Luke for weekend get-togethers, and I ensured she got her motor-sport fixes by dragging all my old F1 tapes out. By way of revenge she would bring down all her British Formula Ford tapes for me.”

Oh cool, so she gained the trust of his family and Mark was hanging out with her son. This is so sweet Alexa, play Chosen Family by Rina Sawayama. Real talk though, again if this is how it had ended - with them just being family friends - then we would not be having this conversation. 

BUT, we all know how this little story ends so onwards we march. We shoot forward to late 1994, Mark has done okay in Formula Ford but his Dad is no longer able to fund him. SO, he turns to their old pal - the ever present and super helpful Ann, bless her heart - to try and drum up some sponsorship for Mark so he can race. 

Little background on why Ann was chosen to try and help with this, I’ll give you 3 guesses and only one of them is correct. Yes, that’s right, it’s her experience - which she has managed to get by being 30 and having a background in motorsports. She started out as a motorsport journo and ended up dealing with press and PR for Paul Warwick (Derek Warwick’s brother). In 1986 she started dealing with Johnny Herbert’s media before working for Formula Ford in Europe in 1991. 

Ann begrudgingly accepts and draws up plans with Mark, which leads him to a Yellow Pages sponsorship for his next season in Formula Ford, and beyond - how sweet, how nice, they are #winning! We stan teamwork besties! And Ann started working with Mark and his family to further his career. 

Ann had a plan for Mark, as outlined in Aussie Grit, p.69-70:

“By the end of 1995 Annie told me, in no uncertain terms, that – and I quote – I had to get my arse out of there. She didn’t just mean Australian Formula Ford, either: she meant Australia. She thought it was time for me to go and have a crack at some of the big guys, and she proposed to help me go about it in a serious, business-like way.

‘How the f#*k are you going to get to Formula 1 coming from Queanbeyan?’ Anyone who wants to trace my journey should start with a piece of paper that Ann drew up on 6 July 1995.”

So, now Ann has outlined her hopes for Mark and a glimmering career in motorsport. I would like us to know that at this point in time Mark was the ripe old age of 18, going on 19. 

In 1996 Ann and Mark moved properly to the UK so Mark could drive in the British Formula Ford Championship - at this point Mark is still 19. At this point he is living in the UK with Ann and her mother, and Ann’s son. 

So this is probably sounding pretty okay so far and sure it’s just a business relationship with a business set up, like no real cause for concern. But then we discover that this business relationship had turned into a relationship-relationship pretty damn fast. 

From the horses mouth himself, Aussie Grit, p.87:

“Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed.”

Okay, okay, okay so I know at this point Mark is 19/20 he’s an adult right? He can make his own choices. But, can we please admit that at best it’s an iffy situation because of the position of power and authority she was in? In his life? For his career? 

There are a few other excerpts I found particularly interesting, about Mark’s family’s reaction (all from Aussie Grit, chapter 3):

“My parents came over to the UK in the English summer of 1997. While they were thrilled about how things were developing for me in racing, they’d been less thrilled by the romantic relationship that was developing between Annie and me....”  “...Annie was bitterly disappointed at my behaviour. Her plan to take me to the highest level of motor sport was starting to go horribly wrong, so she left Australia earlier than planned and headed back to Europe. My family arranged for Alan Docking to collect my belongings from the house we had been sharing and the one and only car Annie and I had at that stage...Campese Management told her that they had been instructed by the Webber family to terminate her role as my manager and that Campese Management would be taking over all aspects of my career, including the negotiation of my driving contracts.“

“While I knew Annie provided the support and guidance I needed in my racing career, I was missing her in so many other ways too. We were such a dynamic force in every sense; we could make things happen when we were together. We were teammates, soul mates, call it what you want.“

“As to Mum’s concern about our age difference, that has never been a factor for us. When we began to be more open about being together, perhaps the top end of the age gap shocked a few people. In those days people were less accepting of a big age difference between partners, especially when it’s our way round. It’s not such a big deal nowadays and it makes us laugh when so-called celebrities reveal they’re dating an older woman or younger man!“

While the Daily Mail is trash, the beginning of this video is very revealing to me - particularly Jackie Stewart’s comments from 00:12.

Obviously you can make up your own conclusions from all of this information, and I would once again like to point out that none of us - not me, not the anons, not you - actually know the nature of their relationship. They have been together for 24 years - good for them! Whatever they have going has obviously worked for them, this is not me trying to shit on that or anything, and I’m gonna be real I’m not the biggest Mark Webber fan. 

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy.

All I want to do is add some nuance to the conversation, an overview of the timeline, an understanding of what the facts are. So that some of those cowardly anons (or anon) can hop off their self-built thrones and get a grip. The sexism and ageism argument literally does not apply here, for all of the evidence and reasons listed above - if the situation was flipped we would still be calling it out. The only difference is you guys would probably be on board with it being called out. 

So Ann is a woman? So, what? Do you think she’s above reproach? You think one person’s 50 note post on this site is gonna rock the foundation of a relationship that has been 26 years in making? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are either: a) Mark Webber himself, or b) delusional as hell. You really think that responding by sending anon hate to a teenager, who btw only made a post calling out the age difference because she was shocked and had just discovered it, is the right way to go? 

You really think that sending me this message, attacking other people in such a vile and racist manner is okay?

So you don’t like Nehir and Sera? Good for you, go block them, if you follow them, unfollow them. Those options are free and readily available to you. 

For me, it’s so funny to see you hiding behind that little Anon mask spewing this vile shit. The commitment you have to proving that you are just a cowardly person with nothing better to do than rag on a bunch of different people for reblogging a post, that in the long run is not going to reach the people it’s about, is outstanding. I really hope you pat yourself on the back for this one. 

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

There has definitely been a spate of ‘conversations’ that have been happening recently that have very much been straying into the land of discourse, over very small comments or posts. I think that some people need to remember that we’re all here for our own entertainment and as soon as it stops being fun - you are allowed to log off; you are allowed to block people; you are allowed to unfollow people. 

Sending anon hate is so counterproductive to whatever conversation you think you are starting or having with a person. Also guys, sometimes it’s not that deep - sometimes jokes are just jokes, sometimes someone finds out something they didn’t know about a driver or an ex-driver and they make a joke post about it. That does not give you the right to send them hate, or to make racist comments in other people’s asks. 

Sometimes these discussions require a debate and sometimes discourse can be good - but honestly? I’m worried about some of you guys, it is not healthy to get so angry at other people for the things they post on their blogs that you are not obligated to follow or interact with at all. 

I am also worried about people who turn every little thing into something discoursey. There are causes and issues to care about in this sport and community, for sure. But sometimes you also have to pick your battles - especially when I know a lot people in this community have fragile mental health. I do not say this to patronise any of you but to just provide a reminder that you do not need to engage with everything that makes your blood boil, and furthering some of these conversations sometimes is not doing you guys any good. Burnout is real. 

Please take some time to take care of yourselves, the pandemic is doing a number on all of us and I know being online gives you a gateway to being connected to people, but sometimes you just have to walk away from a discussion. Sometimes you have to just go and reblog something unrelated, or stare at a photo of your favourite driver, or listen to some angry music. Anything else to process your knee jerk reaction, to give yourself time to figure out how you feel about something and whether it’s worth engaging in or not.