#to the point where im too tired to even execute it

[celenawrites]

I think I might have to drop the zombie!Ghost fic I have been planning. :((((

[ceasarslegion]

You can call me whatever-ist for this if you want but like, its never sat right with me that neglect of personal hygiene and cleaning your living space is treated like some unscalable wall that only neurotypicals have the ability to climb in mental illness spaces. Its also never sat right with me that folks seem to just accept dirtiness to the point of filth because "well its too hard for me to clean or brush my teeth i have xyz disorder"

Yeah dude the environment youre creating is not only disgusting, but a health hazard. There is a point imo where it goes beyond just "im too tired to do the dishes tonight, i'll do them tomorrow" and becomes "its okay that im eating off of a greasy plate i just superficially rinsed the moldy food off of, i have executive dysfunction."

Im not even creating a strawman there, that was who i lived with for a year. I had to constantly clean up after that roommate who on numerous occasions wouldnt give me anything to eat off of because all the dishes were molding on the carpeted floor of her room, and every time i confronted her about her disgusting habits she pulled "WELL I HAVE DEPRESSION AND I WORK 6 DAYS A WEEK YOURE DEMANDING WAY TOO MUCH OF ME I HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS AROUND YOU" and like sorry to be harsh or whatever but neither of those things are my problem when youre throwing wrappers on the floor of a shared space because you cant be assed to bring them to the trash thats 5 feet away that only i ever took out. There comes a point where im like "wow i wonder why youre so depressed when you havent showered in a week and your entire apartment reeks of cat piss from unchanged litter boxes"

[luuvarisuu]

＃ 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝗶𝗯 !!

— 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀. arisu ryohei, chsihiya shuntaro.

— 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. chishiya´s backtstory spoilers.

— 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀. headcanons about how the aib characters would confess to you + (how you met)

— 𝗮/𝗻. lmk if i missed smth!! AND IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG FOR NO REASON

✧. - ̗̀ 𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘂 𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗵𝗲𝗶 , ❨ gn!reader ❩

— falling in love with arisu feels like . . . a soft breeze on a summer night, the warmth of a hug, an afternoon with friends, a colorful sunset, a clumsy first kiss, comfort, the smell of a new book, the pain in the stomach after an uncontrollable laughter, a walk through an art museum.

— ..♡;

ever since you first saw arisu, you felt an inexplicable sense of familiarity.

you couldn't say why exactly, but the way he was simply made you feel instantly comfortable.

the truth is that arisu was very obvious with his feelings every time you were around.

it all started when you helped him in a game, saving his life.

some time later, without knowing too much about you, both of you separated, believing that you would never see each other again. however, you caught arisu's attention from that moment on, thinking of you even days after what happened, believing that maybe he would see you again when whatever is happening is over.

it was so that some time later, after having found the beach, he saw you once again, recognizing you instantly.

HE WAS IN SHOCK

at first, he couldn't believe that it was really you who was among all those people, even being part of the executives.

although at first he thought you had something to do with what was happening, you protected him all the time, mainly from niragi, who constantly messed with him. you stood up for him and even allowed yourself to chat with arisu from time to time, even if it was very brief.

but arisu, although he tried to convince himself otherwise, began to notice changes in his own behavior.

the way he unconsciously missed your small talks, or found himself looking for an excuse to be with you, or even look at you.

how shy he would get when you sent him one of your bright smiles that made him melt, and how he found himself dazzled by your lovely eyes, turning red everytime you gave him attention.

in fact, arisu quickly recognized that what he felt for you was not something of friendship. he knew perfectly well that what attracted him to you was unconditional love, an undeniable romance.

arisu would start to protect you even more than he used to, and worry excessively if he saw you leave to renew your visa, the worst possible scenarios playing in his mind, and making him relive bad times.

because if there was one thing that arisu knew, it was that no matter what, you were the only person he couldn't bear to lose.

he also used to look for ridiculous excuses to hold your hand, and would make gestures to silently ask you for a hug, loving the feeling of your body in contact with his, making him all fuzzy inside.

neither could he help the lovesick smile that formed on his face when you ruffled his hair in an affectionate gesture, or when you congratulated him for having solved a difficult game, making him feel proud of himself.

the indiscreet way in which his face lit up when he saw you, and his eyes seemed to form hearts when his gaze interwined with yours.

the long, lovingly, warm hugs he gave you every time you returned safe and sound from a game.

his love for you reached a point where he couldn't keep quiet about it.

he was tired of having to pretend that his gestures were just friendly, and of not being able to confess to you that this is not how he looks at you, because as obvious as it is

you just didn't seem to notice his attempts to show you that he likes you, or maybe you were pretending you didn't (which is the kind of thought that definitely terrified him)

but, this was definitely the moment when he had to tell you

if he kept prolonging, according to him, "the perfect moment" to confess, that moment would never come

it was he who had to make it perfect for you

he spent HOURS writing a long and cheesy speech that adapted to something characters would say in love movies that chota forced him to watch just to annoy him (lol i think this is so canon)

obviously just to inspire, not to copy the exacts phrases, actually putting his own toughts on it

he was thinking and analyzing for a long time the type of things that you once mentioned that you liked to be able to add them

he put the paper in his pocket and spent a lot more time trying to remember everything word for word.

that day you noticed him especially nervous and shy when you got close to him, much more than usual

and suddenly, one of those nights when you liked to take walks by the pool just to think a little, arisu found the exact moment to tell you.

HE WAS SO NERVOUS

his palms were sweating and he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably every five seconds, trying to calm his feelings

but it was at the moment when he looked into your eyes, sweet and full of stars, that he caught his breath.

the words stumbled off his tongue and his mind simply went blank, feeling a whirlwind of feelings overwhelm him, knowing he didn't need any speech to tell you what he thought.

"i love you y/n…that's all i wanted to say to you"

though all his talk was stuttering and avoiding your gaze, for the first time you felt his voice crisp and clear, making intense eye contact

and finally you smiled, completely dispelling his fears and leaving room only for relief, his heart beating faster at the way you looked at him, eyes full of love

"i love you too arisu…"

and at that moment, you swore that you had never seen a person blush as much as arisu did at that moment, the sparkle in his eyes increased and simply the relief of knowing that his feelings were reciprocated gave way to a sincere smile, the kind of smile that only had when you were around

the kind of smile he had knowing that you love him as much as he loves you

✧. - ̗̀ 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘆𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗼 , ❨ gn!reader / pre!borderland ❩

— falling in love with chishiya feels like . . . the sound of rain on a cold day, a first i love you, a hot shower in winter, the smell of clean clothes, the warmth of a sheet in a cold room, the moonlight reflecting on a river , the lovesick smiles of two lovers.

— ..♡;

after a long time of doubting, and having been under a lot of pressure from your family, you decided to choose a career in medicine.

it was a winding road, like climbing a mountain with no grip margin, a guaranteed fall

and yet, here you are, years after much effort, working in a hospital, just as you dreamed

the first time you saw him, you noticed something about that made it impossible for you to avoid looking at the blond when you accidentally ran into the him in the hospital corridors, unconsciously following him with your eyes until you lost sight of his presence

it was kind of routine, going by specific places and making brief eye contact.

and yet, one day, you had the opportunity to exchange a couple of words with him, exclusively for work

among your clinical folders you found one that belonged to him, soon seeing you have to talk to him to return it

perhaps it was his neutral look, or his calm tone of voice that slightly caught your attention, adding that to his mysterious and reserved personality that if you didn't find him interesting, you would even be scared.

and there you saw it on his id card: "chishiya shuntaro."

that was the last time you got a chance to talk to him (at least as two normal people)

because days after that was that the nightmare had begun

all you knew were blurred memories, and all the people important to you were strangers

you had to start finding a way to survive no matter how hard it gets

it was like that, how you accidentally ended up on the beach as one more member, meeting someone you definitely didn't expect to see again

yet you were not complaining

in some way, chishiya seemed to recognize you in the same way that you recognized him

it's as if the precise moment you two made eye contact he realized he knew you, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he'd seen you before and he was willing to understand where and when exactly

that feeling, was the main reason why you caught his attention

but what kept it, was your courage and your curious way of seeing the world, not to mention your strong and determined personality that undoubtedly fascinated him

in his eyes you were definetly a really interesting being, unpredictable, unafraid to defend your ideals

in a way, at first he saw you only as a way out, one more phase to add to his plan.

but nevertheless, trying to win your trust so that you could trust him and he could use you to his advantage, fell apart the day he noticed that there was something else, a completely foreign feeling

you made him feel things

and he didn't like it one bit

he was IN DENIAL for the longest time

but could he really keep lying to himself?

he isn´t sure when the exact moment was when it hit him

maybe…

the moment when he found himself anxious, thinking if you were be okay, if you were be safe after not seeing you for a long time

the moment he found himself asking kuina and the people you used to hang out with on the beach if you're back yet, and the unknown feeling of relief and warmth in his chest when he found out you were safe and sound

he also searched for you when he knew you we´re leaving to play a game to speak to you before you left, saying something just to let you know he actually worries

he probably just says something weird and you giggle at his attempts, making him blush slightly

chishiya might just tell you smth like "dont die, im really not bothered to replace you" trying to come out as tough and heartless but you surely see trough that

he also likes how easy you understand him so he doesn't have to be obvious about things

not good with words but makes an effort for you

the moment when he first felt his heartbeat increase when you unconsciously took his hand to make him walk faster

the moment when his smirks would widen into a full smile, one that he only showed to you

kuina constantly asking how you did to put him in a good mood (because after meeting you he was most likely grumpy all the time —her words)

the moment when his eyes unconsciously searched for you in a room full of people

the moment when he began to stop feeling your voice as an annoying sound, and he even enjoyed the feeling of calm that hearing you talk gave him, still pretending that he wanted you to shut up (secretly wishing that you would never stop talking)

the moment you started to care for him and take care of him, making him feel finally appreciated

the moment when after a game you went full on doctor mood and started taking care of him (even if he protested that he also knew how to heal his wounds, secretly enjoying the feeling of your hands on his skin, and the loving touch and soft with which you treated him)

the moment he said it, it wasn't anything particularly special really, it was something more impulsive and definitely without the intention of being too obvious

it was on the beach terrace, the place you two had designated as your secret place

not explicitly clear, but suddenly chishiya and you began to meet causally there and it became a kind of tradition to both of you

"y/n" the call of your name made you hum to let him know you were listening "…you're really aren't as bad and annoying as i tought the first time i saw you.." chishiya said quietly, still not making eye contact with you, keeping his gaze fixed on the starry sky, mesmerized by the glow of the moon

"what?" you smiled softly at his words, turning your head to look at him, kowing he meant to say something else but didn´t know how to start. you just waited, and he looked fucking beautiful right now just as your eyes examined his features

"i think.." he made a pause, trying to find the exact word "i think i actually like you..you know? like..romantically"

and that was all you needed to widen your smile completely, and finally look into his eyes, noticing how he tried to hide a smile that threatened to come out when he finally met your gaze

"yeah.." you whispered "i think i like you too...like, romantically"

and then, you heard chishiya laugh slightly, finally opening up to you and feeling comfy about it, just talking and leaving all worries behind for a minute.

©luuvarisuu !!

[stoned-froggy]

i’ve thrown up three times since 3am i think my body is rejecting literally everything i put in it

i’m in a financial spot where i’m gonna have to lean on my stupid dad for money yet again, but even if i do i’m gonna lose my insurance so there’s no winning

i’m gonna miss out on a lot but you know what? if there’s a Great Beyond and i get there and wish i was still here then that’s my problem LOL at this point i don’t know if anything’s worth what’s about to happen in the next two weeks if i don’t go to my dad

and frankly i am not going to stoop down to him so fuck that

take that option off the table and i’m left with literally everything getting cut off. insurance, phone, wifi power gas everythingggggggg.

and i know i’ll get paid in a few weeks. a couple hundred bucks, probably. enough to restart a few things — gas and electric, and maybe wifi if i’m lucky. but not my phone, not yet. not my insurance. not my homeowners insurance, either. for a house that probably has black mold, and that has an unsealed basement that fucking floods, and that has a borderline ant infestation. lmao.

the universe has decided to test me. and i am choosing to fail :)

i don’t get why i had the guts in march and not now

hell, why i had the guts two weeks ago but not now

i played Life for a week or so and have made the executive decision that i’m not built for it

i love my friends more than anything but they’ll make new friends and share their light with people far more deserving of it than i am

besides, it’s just going to keep being this back-and-forth, if the last decade of my life is any indication. and why would i want to keep putting them through that?

if u love me let me go type beat ykwim

i’m trying so hard to slowly pull away, you don’t understand, i’m taking longer to reply and not sending the first message usually or initiating facetimes or whatever but god

why did i not just do it right in march?

why did i answer the phone? why did i agree to call the cops?

why why why why why.

maybe i didn’t really have the guts back then either because i basically told on myself by agreeing to call 911 myself. maybe im just a fucking pussy. maybe i just don’t have the courage to do the one thing i think would be right for me. the thing i NEED.

i can’t starve myself right. i can’t kill myself right. i can’t do shit.

i’m so borderline angry that i have moments where i want to stick around because oh my god, i am so tired of the back and forth bullshit too. like i’m sure it sucks to be dragged into but imagine that being UR BRAIN

the sun is coming up. i took an edible.

i wish i was dead.

[we-will-be-reun1ted]

Aether is the one that makes their food the majority of the time and is less impulsive than Lumine, usually there to point out flaws in her plans/ideas because if she executed them they'd have horrible consequences that she was aware of but didn't actually process.

Lumine has to drag Aether off of every tall tree/building because the rat won't stop climbing everything he sees and she's sick of it. She's thrown rocks at him to make him come down. She's also the one that made their clothes and the one who properly learnt how to fight and taught Aether how to do so (which is why she's a faster fighter than Aether, while Aether is a strong defender)

I like to think their wings, even if not physically attached to their bodies, are still very much part of their bodies due to it being tied to their powers. So they can feel and move the wings just like any winged creature. They also feel the subtilties in atmospheric changes with them and can easily recognize wind currents and where they're going (results in wings being very sensitive to touch)

Bodies are Much warmer temperatures because they're star creatures and also need the heat for when they're flying through space. They're both also pretty light for the whole flying thing.

I like to think that if they get Extremely upset/desperate, they'll full on unleash the raw power of a star on someone (unknown god) as a last resort, though it takes up a Ton of energy and tires them out greatly.

The glowing spots on their clothes (chest, wrists, knees for aether. Those things) are glow spots they have on their bodies because of the whole star people thing. Those areas are probably much warmer than the other body parts too.

Based on voicelines from characters and just how the game works; i also believe that Aether prefers to use sign language around people but will verbally speak if comfortable enough or when fully alone with someone he fully trusts (like Lumine or Paimon)

Sorry for the big text i just have a lot of thoughts about these two twins and saw that you do too and am now throwing them at you. I have more but brain is starting to lag

woah Woah WOAH HELLO THERE??? This is the first time anyone has sent their headcanons to me oh my god??? I’m absolutely buzzing this is fantastic! Hi!!

Okay okay I’m gonna answer this in sections cause this is a lot of writing. Im actually so excited to reply to this wtf

Food/Impulse

Okay this one fits in absolutely perfectly to my headcanons. Aether makes most of their food due to Lumine not having the patience for it. She can cook she’s a good cook but with her cooking it would turn into an episode of Gordon Ramsay Hells Kitchen hella fast.

Honestly it’s better to not have Lumine around when making food at all. She will try to take over and get really pissed off if everything isn’t done exactly how she would do it.

This is Lumine after Aether takes a fish off the fire exactly five seconds before she tells him to take it off:

Aether is patient. Aether can make a salad without almost breaking the bowl.

And I also agree with the impulse one! I feel like Lumine usually comes up with a lot of the plans for anything they do. Exploring a world, fighting something, escaping something yada yada.

Aethers the one who gives her a lot of advice for it and ‘polishes the plan up’ so to say. As you said Lumine is very impulsive and in the heat of the moment will go with the first thing she thinks about rather than giving it serious thought. That’s why Aether is there. He tries to help calm her down and tell her the flaws of the plan and what would/could happen if she went through with it.

And THATS why traveler Lumine gets into so much shit CONSTANTLY. Her brother isn’t around to be her fucking BABYSITTER. She stuck helping fucking aranaras constantly I hate those stupid aranaras.

Climbing/Clothes/Fighting

THE RAT HELP oh my god you’ve made me giggle with that. I absolutely love this headcanon it’s fantastic I can picture her throwing rocks at him while Aether hangs onto the branch of a tree like a stray cat.

Personally in my eyes they are both a HUGE chaotic duo when they are together so they would both be constantly trying to climb shit and probably getting stuck.

They see tall building and immediately look at each other like 😏

The amount of places they have been banned from for climbing shit is astonishing. It could fill up a small planet in itself.

Oh my god you know I haven’t properly thought about their clothes and I like your idea. I feel like she would of purposely given them inverted themes so they could be matching in a subtle sense while still going with both of their personal styles.

She tried to teach Aether to sew but he kept pricking himself with the needle 💔

Ooooh okokok right this is genuinely just stuff I’ve made up in my silly mind but okay so

I’m my little headcanon lore thingy they were both taught to fight by little guardians/teachers in a world (worlds???) they went to. Originally both being taught the opposite - Aether fighting and Lumine defending until they both started teaching each other their moves and excelled in the opposite things. I can 100% see Lumine teaching Aether to fight though.

Wings

Okay I don’t have much to say here other than i completely agree with absolutely everything you just said. Adding in that I feel like their wings were gifted to them by one of the first planets they came across and helped! This was eons ago so the two have gotten extremely accustomed to flying and feeling through their wings, though I feel like the two can make their wings disappear and reappear. Kinda like when the traveler throws the sword behind their back and it just appears in their hand then they are fighting.

Also! Aethers wings being made from sunlight and Lumines wings being made from moonlight 🫶

Oh my god imagine they made a little language through their wings if one or both isn’t able to speak? Like one flutter means stop, two means attack etc etc stuff like that!

Temperature

I deffo see this, though I feel like their bodies are way more adapted to the cold rather than the warm. It’s INCREDIBLY cold in space which is where the two spend the most of their time and where they technically live. Their bodies have adapted to the cold and can absorb heat from planets the go to and kind of store it?? Kind of like a little thermal radiator.

Power

Oh oh I like this this is interesting. What do you headcanon that to be like? Like what kind of power do you think they have when they get so desperate?

Language/Speaking

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE HEADCANON I have no idea why but I absolutely love this wtf?? I can totally see him doing that.

Okok my version of this IS the twins have their own language. They can both learn to speak other languages pretty fast, but it takes a bit of time. So in the meantime they (the traveler) allow Paimon to talk for them and translate it and only talk when necessary and when they know what to say.

I ALSO feel like around each other the twins have this kind of telapathic connection (you know what they say about twin telepathy and such) and so sometimes don’t need to speak to each other to talk. They can communicate through knowing what the other is thinking and feeling and through touch and stuff like that.

The two have deffo gone through days of not speaking and just talking through thoughts and such, when out of nowhere one of them will break it by just saying the most out of context shit and making the other jump out of their skin.

⟢

No please do NOT apologise this made me so happy to answer! I love hearing any and all headcanons about the twins they are my BIGGEST hyperfixation at the moment. Feel free to send even more! That goes for absolutely anyone. Thank you so much for sending this to me :D

[davekat-sucks]

Been thinking about HS2, as you do. And to be honest, I have no idea how we got here. I mean I know a bunch of shit happened to Hussie over the debacle of the game. But how did we get to HS2. Like, it hates you. HS2 reads like it hates the reader, it hates homestuck, it hates the reader for enjoying homestuck. I would call it misery porn, but even misery porn has some sort of catharsis. Some kind of release. HS2 does not. Its just an anon telling you to kill yourself, over and over for the length of the Epilogue and HS2 up to this point. The former team members, are allegedly, the progressive leftist type, yeah? So why did they decide to kill Rosemary, the fandoms pet lesbian ship? The one thing that would get thousands of screeching people telling you to kill yourself if you dared ship rose or kanaya with anyone other then themselves? Why did they make so many characters act out of character, why kill so many? Why introduce so many uncomfortable kinks? Why did they make dog dick jade canon? And call it the trans rep? Aint these people supposed to be allies? Supposed to care about the LGBTHDTV+? Supposed to be part of the alphabet people themselves? How? Why? Spite? It certainly seems so. HS2 seems like it was written from a place of spite, just sheer derision for the material and the author. Maybe Hussie planned this, maybe he hated his own creation and the fans of it, maybe the team did this of their own volition? I dont know, I doubt we ever will. How can Roach write the story like this? I dont know too much about him. I dont have a reason to trust him, but I dont have a reason to distrust him either. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, Id say that he's passionate about Homestuck and wants to bring it to a good place, but how do you do that? How do you bring something from a place of sheer hatred into a place of passion? Without retcons or denouncing the things that came before? I have no doubt that he's under NDA's out the ass, probably has some "non slander" clauses in his contract as well, since you obviously just cant bad mouth the previous team, even if they deserve it. Still, I am just at a sheer loss of how the comic can be turned around with this development. I know Im going to be following it, is it possible for an IP to give you Stockholm Syndrome? Because no matter how bad Homestuck gets, I cant give it up. Theres still more blood and bodies to be found in this train wreck. I dunno, sorry for the rant, but you're really the only other blogger I feel I can vent shit about homestuck towards. Lots of the people I knew before dropped out, or I lost contact when my first blog got obliterated.

It's alright. I know what you mean and have similar feelings as well about all this. There are other fandoms and interests that have similar cases of going back to your abusive lover because you had liked what they were before. Just look at comic book fans, Disney fans, Pokemon fans, RWBY fans, etc. Homestuck's case is that the effort to contribute anything to it is just tiring. Other series have similar themes of nihilism and dark topics. But the fans there are able to make great fan works despite such depressing tone. Was it because the execution of those lets audiences have a choice to give a better outlook on things while Homestuck denies us this? Maybe. It's hard to pinpoint where had it all gone wrong or why it still continuing. Even if somehow Roach is able to salvage it, the damage has been done that it will take a long long time to really forgive and forget. Though with the downward spiral of this current generation, they'll probably be lucky to rope in new fans to enjoy that small high before they move on to something new and better.

[11queensupreme11]

Unpopular opinion of the ROR fandom, I don't like that they pair gods with humans, don't get me wrong, I don't hate people who pair them but I don't really see the point. ☠️

An example is with TetonPosy (my favorite 🥰), I don't like Poseidon x Kojiro, seriously, I don't like it, unfortunately for me the fandom in Spanish (I don't know if the same thing happens in the English one), almost always (if not always) they pair it with Kojiro. And Poseidon never showed interest in Kojiro, instead he detested him, damn it, at which point Poseidon showed that he felt attached to the human that he considered inferior.

Also the fact that my favorite tenton died at the hands of the Japanese, and that he is old:( (all the other humans, even over 100 years old, look young and Kojiro doesn't, he looks like an old man; and he is (ignoring that the gods are greater than them). I don't like him per se, and Kojiro's appearance doesn't improve overall. For me (fucked personal opinion), seeing a couple where one looks young person with that appearance and being with someone with an elderly appearance is ... strange (sorry if it sounds controversial, but that's how I think

The people pairing Qin and Hades is another example, saying that they are kings of both worlds among other things, yes I admit that Hades recognized Qin but as far as I remember it was because it reminded him of Poseidon. They even dared to steal the phrase quoted by Poseidon and put it to Qin .😡

It's that of: a perfect god, blah blah, I don't remember what else was about the phrase (I forgot it)

They pair Shiva too much with Raiden when it has been shown that they have partners (Shiva) and canonical love interest (Raiden if I remember correctly)

Adam and Zeus, seriously, I have to explain this. (If there are people who match them)

Buddha and Zengoku (was that the boy's name?) I see them as a relationship like brothers in general, I see relationships with Buddha as a friend-brother, not romantically except with Bruhilde although we all know that she doesn't even fight Buddha)

I won't bother getting into incestuous pairings (cough cough HadesPose) because they are Greek, (reference to incest in Greek mythology)

I would talk more but I got tired of typing so much, so I'll leave it here. And another additional thing, it doesn't bother me that it's bl or gl, what bothers me is that I can't find where they come from to match them and the other one is a fighting manga/anime and in their fandom the only thing which pairing is more popular.

Man, it's an anime about fighting to literally survive mass extinction in humans (reminds me of the end of shingeki in the rumble) and the only thing I find when I look for them is two guys fucking or other things (sorry for the vulgarity )

And The same thing happens in another fandom that I was previously in, which was Bungou Stray Dogs, If you have the opportunity I recommend it to you, it's good (you can ignore my stupid suggestion), that happens with two characters Chuuya and Dazai that the fandom ALWAYS pairs them up, literally whenever they have the chance.

And that's annoying, your fandom with the soukoku , and their ships are toxic, if you talk about something bad about soukoku they hate you.

lLiterally, one is a former mafia executive with serious problems that he takes lightly and the other is a gangster, where do you see how tender it is for a A relationship. And then they become stupid (x2 sorry for my criticisms without argument) that they loved each other in the port, blablabla.

lI'm sorry for complaining without solid arguments to support me and adding another fandom to something that has nothing to do with it, but I seriously hate that in fandom the first thing they ask you is: What pairings do you like? (It has happened to me with ror in face groups :( when romance is not the central thing in ror

i don't ship anyone in ror tbh, ror is one of the manga/animes where i dont ship anyone cuz im just so focused on the future fight matchups. but im pretty sure ppl are shipping the gods with their human opponents because they interacted with each other the most, which makes for good shipping material.

but not all characters in a ship need to have interacted with each other in canon.

one thing you gotta know about shipping, is that it doesn't need to make a point. it doesn't need to make sense. people pretty much just ship what they want. it's just a fun lil thing, we're basically little girls playing with our barbie dolls and making them kiss each other 🤷‍♀️ it doesn't matter if character a canonically hates character b's guts and would never romantically like them, or if character c and character d never interacted.

literally one person just needs to take a look at these characters and go "hmmm i think they would go well together" and bam, a ship is born. there doesn't need to be a reason or a point to it

but i get what you mean about how shippers annoy you. lately jjk shippers are starting to annoy me too (they doxx and bully ppl who like over ships they dont personally like, and accuse boy x girl shippers of homophobia because of it 💀 ppl really need to stop acting as if their gay ship is a form of activism, its not). i haven't seen any toxicity in the ror fandom over their ships yet and that's probably because the fans aren't from america (which is where the majority of those crazy toxic shippers are from)

when an anime/manga's fandom gets too toxic for me, i honestly just stay away. i focus more on reading theories and analyses rather than admire fanarts featuring a ship and stuff like that, which helps in twitter cuz my timeline changes

[hoshigray]

ugh im just so tired of people dying in jjk. like this is just trauma for the characters for no reason and its not fair to them?? they're not real obvi so no reason to advocate for them but i feel like an obnoxious amount of people have died yfm?? because i cant really see how gojo dying would truly advance the plot likeee is this meant to make megumi, yuuta, and/or yuji stronger? bc im pretty sure those 3 have seen enough people die for their own personal development for the rest of their lives. and i feel like even non-jjk enjoyers being shocked proves how random n bad this is, ofc i take all of this back if he comes back(he will trust). i just idk, very frustrating and i can't articulate how i feel properly(i will revisit this topic later).

but like no, school is.. SO bad rn i just.. NO MORE 😭😭 ty for the support though hottie hoshi ILY BAE

- megan anon

EDIT: SPOILERS IN REPLIES SO AVOID IF YOU DON'T READ JJK.

MEGGY DEAR, TALK THAT FUCKING SHIT ‼️ (excuse me, lemme move to my keyboard bc I'm doin hw and don't wanna make typos while i express my take too, lol)

no bc you're so fucking right tho!!! like I've been reading jjk for a long while and the body count of the cast throughout the years has me dumbfounded, not bc they're big or anything no, but bc like most of the charas introduced are either built up as some sort of pillar that enhances the plot/growth of characters (junpei, nanami, yuki, etc.), or they seem very interesting charas that draw you in, but don't go past 10 chaps of screentime (haibara, kokichi). Then you have those who are injured and have yet given any news about their whereabouts (Nobara and Todo), and it's at this point where you just forget having hope 🫤🫤🫤 and NOW we have this and it's like ???? I think this is more so to showcase how much of a devilish threat Sukuna is, based on how much of a rise the reactions are from Yuuji and Yuuta. Yet at the same time, too many deaths in this manga already displayed that notion (esp. from Mahito), and for it to happen to another critical character? Like I get the poetic nuances of it all, I really do, and ngl I saw it coming. But the way it was executed with these leaks....idk man, I'm down to talk more about it, rn me and twt are still trying to fully comprehend it 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

but outside of that, awwww babessss 😥😥😥 sorry to hear that, I get it completely, but don't worry!!! just bc it's bad rn doesn't mean it'll be bad throughout the school semester/year. I mean, it can, but it WON'T!!! WHY!?? Bc I have faith in you, meggy dear!! NEVER BACK DOWN, NEVER WHAT!!???? Lol fr tho, sorry to hear school's kicking ass like always, but don't let that drag your flow down when the goal isn't in reach yet. You got this, I know you do, trust yourself 🗣️📢 ‼️‼️💓 love you moreeee!!!

[daftbitch]

Hi! NSA here! Sorry for the radio silence, I've been going through it in the mental health department. Plus work and all. I haven’t been able to write at all even though I want to. I hope you’ve been well despite, you know (gestures to the general state of the world)

Omg though pinning a post to call out to me u///u I’m flattered!

You wanted to hear my thoughts about Doe's Nekomamushi fic, and I will share them now! I did read it, but I was so FED that I wanted to devote the proper energy to address what I all liked about it, and I was far too tired to do that this past few weeks. And just kind of… not in the mood to engage with something positive when my brain is in the pits. But now I am here.

A while ago, someone sent Doe an ask referring to the drabbles I sent you and saying she had competition–I wanted to scream! Don’t compare us! T_T She’s got far more experience under her belt! The Nekomamushi commission is proof enough of that. Just incredible work.

Here’s my thoughts:

The intro is masterfully set up. Just paragraph after paragraph of vivid imagery of the location and the sensations of running through a tangled wood and the thrill of it all. Like 14 paragraphs before we even see Nekomamushi, and none of it is boring. I’m like hitting my head on a wall from a writer’s perspective because it’s so well done! The sun setting and the following hush are great transitions to the last part of the chase and really set the mood. I especially love when Sterling wonders to herself if Zunesha sleeps!! It’s such a small but poetic detail that really helps ground her in the world she lives in despite that world being so whimsical.

"A daring glance back was too tempting to resist." I love this sentence and how it transitions to the reveal, I love the emphasis on hunting grounds. But I think my favorite part of maybe the whole fic is the end of the paragraph: 

“So in tune with nature here, it made her shudder. It almost flowed around him, with the ease at which he caught up.”

It’s sooo good! I can picture it perfectly and I just love the concept; such a master of his environment that it feels like the forest moves around him rather than the opposite. Coolest shit ever and something I can easily visualize.

And man, Doe is like a master of mood. After the buildup of the chase and the reveal, literally the moment his paw comes down and pins Sterling I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation. And from the very start the dialogue is fucking hot:

"Well, little kitten, I've got you-gara right where I want you…there is no place in this jungle where I couldn't find you…"

DAMN I mean talk about starting off strong! And their back-and-forth is so cute and hot.

"Adrenaline and heat, all swirling together. I would chase that scent anywhere, kitten. I'd find you anywhere, until I could have you."

OTL I CANNOT, and immediately followed by "I'll always be yours."  !?!? Im GONNA SCREAM!!

“...causing the beast to rumble in approval. That sound was felt all the way to her core.”

Doe hits all of the monsterfucker motifs: the growling of a beast being felt physically, the heat, the strength, the size difference, for some examples. She has an excellent understanding of the draw of the whole thing and knows how to execute those aspects very well.

Also. ALSO.

"They say you shouldn't tempt the beast." - "I think the beast is tempting me. Don't make me wait."

Fucking SUPERB I love the dialogue so much.

"Eyes on me, kitten."

The dominance and being called “kitten” grjgjdfskhfsj. I know I write the same thing but that’s because IT RULES (no pun intended) and Doe does an amazing job at it

The buildup to the actual penetration, the threat of the edging and the dirty talk is drawn out perfectly and is literally so hot it makes me dizzy. And it all builds up to the tipping point/high point/climax (literaty-term-wise) that is making Sterling beg for it, before you even get to the main event. 

“Nekomamushi's Sulong form is always a bit rougher with her than his daytime self. The beast took what it wanted, and thought of her wellbeing later on once the throes of heat had cooled. But Sterling liked the thrill of being at the moon beast's mercy, a cunt to be used to breed and nothing more.”

Again with Doe showing 100% understanding of what the appeal of monsterfucking is. We love to see it. And then you actually have the main event and it’s 6 full sizzling spicy mastercrafted paragraphs before the first orgasm, like. I don’t know how she does it! Then we get 3 more before Nekomamushi’s?? 

Then a perfect resolution and closing line, which is always something I struggle with. The whole thing is Literally 1000/10 work.

Man, I aspire to write stuff like this. I really look up to Doe as a writer.

That’s about all of my thoughts on that. T_T I love fics I love OCs and self inserts and reader inserts I love writing (I hate writing) I love writing. How have you been, KP? I hope things are okay for you.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SO LONG!!! I WOULD WAIT A MILLION YEARS FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU SAW MY PINNED POST I THINK OF YOU ON THE DAILY!!!

I’m not gonna lie when I saw this at work I literally started jumping up and down and screaming with joy silently, of course, but I did jump up and down. I want you to take your time and reply to me whenever you feel OK there’s no time limit and I’m always gonna be here. Also, it’s OK if you don’t wanna come off anon that’s completely your choice. And I don’t fault you for that at all.

After I read through your message all the way I literally called Doe and I read her this she was literally so happy She said it made her week and she’s never had such an analytical review of one of her works before she knows the time and energy. It must’ve taken for you to write all of this and source actual lines from her story

She said she greatly appreciate you for doing that very much and if you ever want to go over to her blog and just be on anon to just go ahead and do that if you want.

I reread that story a couple of times a week because it’s a literally, my favorite, and that one line with Sterling just being a Cunt to breed literally always sends a tingle through me. It’s literally my favorite line of the entire story. 

My friend I greatly appreciate you so much and you don’t know how much joy that you bring me every time you message me I always get really giddy and giggle a lot that’s how much I look forward to you. 

I’m always here if you wanna talk to me if you even want to make a side blog and keep your self anonymous that way and go into my DM’s. If you just want to talk I’m totally down with that too. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with or we can continue communicating this way it’s literally whatever.

And I have so much more I want to tell you and I look forward to hearing from you once again, it brightens up my entire day. You have no idea !!!

I am doing pretty good. I’m getting over a back injury and Covid. I go see the Barbie movie on Saturday. I’m very excited for that. Hopefully you can see it too if you want. 

 I have so much to tell you and I would like to discuss a bunch of horny stuff with you, but just general stuff in general 

I hope this finds you well, my friend 

[protagonistheavy]

Not more than ten minutes into playing more TotK after writing my previous tumblr post about did I discover the steering wheel objects you can attach to things lol. So that resolves one of my biggest worries, mostly. It's still pretty frustrating to be juggling so many awkward physics in a lot of cases, I've come close to losing tons of progress just because building something was tedious + the execution had to be so specific.

Otherwise though yeah Im surprisingly still having quite a bit of fun just putting together all the scraps and pieces the game has left lying around. Lots of the sky islands in particular are just little puzzles like this, figuring out how to use the items around you to get to a higher point or to another island. I've already come across a few "repeat" islands, which is unfortunate but not totally disruptive -- "repeated" in the sense that it uses the same general layout or puzzle situation, but given a little variety of what zonai items you're given.

My goal right now is to get all the parts+batteries necessary to make an RV lol. I want Link to be big truckin' and haulin' across Hyrule. I say this but it also does majorly suck that, at least where I'm at now, there's no way to save anything you build or create. The moment your game has to reload, it despawns all your creations. Pretty lame but I guess that's understandable.

I do wish dying wasn't so, so frequent... I feel like this game much more quickly thrusts tougher enemies at you from that start than BotW did. I mean I remember BotW being punishing too, but jesus fucking christ, every single thing in this game one-shots you for the first 20 hours. It's so obnoxious that you are not permitted ANY mistakes unless the game mercifully spares you with a one-quarter heart. So many times I get swarmed by enemies with spears and I feel like I have zero options but to run away -- which sucks because running away, like, ALWAYS WORKS, you can cheese so many fights by just kiting enemies.

One last note is about dungeon design. I've only completed the Water Temple but I'll say that the dungeon itself wasn't as much fun as the build-up to that area. I quite enjoyed the "pre-temple" obstacle course that takes you to the temple proper, but the actual dungeon itself was surprisingly straightforward. The boss was also a far cry from the BotW bosses lol, and the aesthetics do not match the divine beasts at all. But it's passable, had cute puzzles. My biggest complaint: I accidentally walked two steps faster than Sidon and entered the temple before he did, which left me exploring these puzzles... without Sidon there to solve them. That was REALLY annoying to have to re-enter the dungeon so that it would "start properly."

But I am still very much enjoying the game. Re-exploring Hyrule is a blast, there's enough different with it that it does not feel like trekking the same place as before except for a few nostalgic strips of land where I can go "ohhh yeah I remember doing this here!" which just feels nice. And there's also the fact that uhh just in general, I didn't explore all of BotW's map anyway lol, I completed the map itself but there were tons of places and corners I looked past, so this is a great chance to see more of what was made. And even if I do get tired of Hyrule, the Sky Islands and the Depths are both totally new areas, even if they're a bit bland, they still have a lot to offer and are totally fun to go back and forth between.

[luciusspriggss]

trauma dumping on main some more (this is purely to rant. that's it)

i get im hard to be with. but i am constantly trying to better myself. i am constantly trying to do good. and i always support whoever im with no matter what. because i love them and dont care if they need my help getting out of bed, taking their shoes and socks off for them, or consoling them while they are having a hard time. that doesnt make a difference for me.

it's just hard when nobody is willing to do the same for me. and i get it, im difficult. i have meltdowns, i have low self esteem, i have trouble socializing with people and understanding social cues, i sometimes struggle with severe executive dysfunction, but i always try to make up for it in other ways.

after six months with Jes, they told me, after seeing me at my worse, that if that is all there is then they would want to spend the rest of their life with me. even if i was always at my worst and never got better. regardless, i tried so hard to never get back to that point and really improve myself. eventually they gave me a promise ring and told me they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me and marry me someday. that they never believed in love, or even knew what love really was, until they met me.

which is why it hurt when they told me they dont think they can handle my problems forever. that they dont believe in marriage or deep love anymore (with anyone). despite having a new partner who they have admitted that they may be in love with already. i get it, i really get it. im "too much" or "a lot".

it's just...the only people who really get me and love all of me, are my dad and step-mom. im scared im going to be alone the rest of my life. i understand i need to know how to be on my own (which i feel like i already do, considering my past situations where I was living by myself). I just, want to meet someone who gets me, and i get them, and we love and support one another.

i dont want to be scared, that if i have a meltdown they will want to break up with me. i want someone who is cool with me trying to figure out what is going to happen in a show/movie/storyline. i'm tired of people telling me to stop because "what is the point in even watching with you, when you are going to figure everything out and tell us what is going to happen. why watch anything at that point if you just figure it out all the time". i dont always figure it out though, and im never confident, i just see that shit as like a puzzle and it excites me. i just want for someone to try with me as much as i try with them. i want someone i can have fun with. i want someone who sees me and loves me for me.

i feel like people get to know me and create this idealized version of me (a manic pixie dream girl. one of my nicknames from someone was Summer Finn, from 500 days of summer). they put me on this pedestal, and then see the rest of me. not the fun me. not the quirky me. the real me. and realize they dont want to deal with "all of that". im tired of every romantic interest ive ever had, telling me "im not good enough for you, you deserve better than me. you deserve someone who can take care of you just as much as you take care of me"

i just feel unlovable. it doesnt help that my first ex ingrained in me that "nobody is good enough for you. you will never be happy with anyone. you are probably best off on your own". 😞. i dunno. i also dont know how the hell im supposed to meet someone, if i am terrified of talking to people. i am on the dating apps, but have never had any luck with them (probably because someone i would really get along with isnt even on them).

i just feel so lonely. it hurts that i found someone who i loved deeply, that ultimately realized they dont even want to try supporting me. which isnt that hard!!! just do what my dad does, which is make spaghetti (or buy it), have me do some task while spaghetti is cooking (usually chopping wood or something), and then watch a show/movie while eating spaghetti!!! like thats it. he lets me cry and freak out, leaves me be, reassure me he loves me, and make spaghetti. im not saying im expecting someone to do exactly what my dad does, but i just mean, someone who is willing to figure out how they can show they care in their own way.

Jes didnt want to do that. when i had meltdowns or shutdowns or ocd episodes, they would just leave me alone and go off doing fuck off whatever they wanted, come back and be like, "are you okay now?". my first ex would leave me alone too, come back and be like "why are you still crying. get over it.". and ive become accustomed to having to deal with moments on my own. which is really fucking hard. but i can do it. i know i can. it would just be nice to have someone who would be willing to try at least some of the time.

i just want to feel wanted. i want someone who loves all of me. just like i want to give someone all of my love. im tired of always feeling like im going to be alone the rest of my life. that nobody will ever want me. that i am unlovable. that i am nobody.

-siiiigggghhhhh- im fine. i will be fine. there is nothing wrong with being alone. i just need to come to terms with that.

[possum0-0]

Here is a byler final battle type of thing for y’all!! (Sorry for the long pauses I made this in notes)

Always

The final battle I feel.. everyone of the party and the adults Will be there. They will be close to defeating him sm will happen to get them all killed Vecna will get stronger all of a sudden.. and everyone except mike will get executed Will and mike will be last. Will will try and save mike but will get blasted back. Mike is now hovering on the air with Vecna hand on his head. Will gets tied up in vines crying for mike and asking Vecna to stop. Vecna Will hear his cry’s and turn around “you really want to save this one? He hurt you. He made you crumble into nothing and yet, you still want to save him. You really are no better than them.” Vecna drops a dead mike and walks over to Will still tied up in vines. Will is sobbing Vecna is now face to face with Will.. finally. “Poor William. No friends, no family, no LOVER. No one by his side. Isn’t this what you wanted?” “W-what? No.. no no this isn’t what I wanted. I never wanted this to happen.” “And yet you pushed them away. So they could forget you. You pushed your best friend away all because you knew you couldn’t have him but, you were wrong. You were so very wrong. He loved you from the start,” “He Just DIDNT know how to express it. He didn’t want to be the town freak. He knew that if he fell into your arms he would be slaughtered.” “No.. no your lying. YOUR PLAYING WITH ME!!” “Am I, William? Or are you to scared to face the truth,” “The truth? What truth..” “do you not remember? Let me help you remember” Vecna holds his hand up and pushes his hand on his head. Will has flash backs to the day the first met, mike at the hospital with him, him and mike in the basement, the cabin scene, them in his room, the van scene and many more even ones we haven’t seen. “Do you remember now William,” “Your choosing to forget. Why forget all the good times? Oh right, because your scared,” “Your too scared to remember. You hide from them oh, but no him. Never him.” “Stop..” “you can’t get enought from him.” “Stop it…” “all of those times he treated you badly you blamed himself but in reality you should blame him.” “No!” “It was all his fault.” “NO!” Lonnies voice resonates with in vecnas “Keep running little boy. See. What. Happens.” “GO AWAAAYYYY!!” Vecna gets blasted back. He hits the wall.

Will falls to the floor sobbing. “No. No no no..” He holds his head with his hands.. he’s tired he’s scared. He’s done with it all. Vecna looks back at him groaning. Will looks up with the most rageful look ever. “No. Im done..” he gets up ands on two feet. Vecna does the same. “Now this… THIS IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL!!” Vecna raises both of his hands.. bone spikes begin to rise from the ground. Wills walks forward. Vecna throws the spikes towards him will Stops them and throws them back at him. He saves a couple for later. Vecna jumps out of the way he takes Lucas’s bomb arrows and throws them at Will letting them explode Will brushes away the smoke to reveal mikes sword He points it towards Vecna and shoots a fire ball at him. Vecna jumps out of the way to throw more things at him. Will thrashes mikes sword and a gust of fire flys towards him. Vecna ofc doges that too. Wills getting impatient. Will lunges towards him with mikes sword to try and hit him. He fails and it hits the ground setting off a big explosion. He keeps trying to hit him but it seems like Vecna knows his every move. He needs to shut off his brain. He needs it to go quiet. Wills stands there closes his eyes and takes a breath. Vecna sits there confused. Something is wrong. Why is everything quiet? Where did the voices go.. Vecna looks at his hands and they are shaking. He feels weak. He doesn’t like this. He leaps forward to try and stop him but it’s like his body can’t. He’s stuck. He looks at Will his eyes and veins are glowing yellow. ‘Did- did he just steal my power. No, no no that can’t be.’ Will puts his hand up and does the ‘come’ hand motion. Vecna cracks his neck “now this is a challenge i like.” He strikes forward and Will moves out of the way. Vecna stikes again but will just keeps dodging. Will is expressionless. He shows no emotion to anything that he’s doing. Will swings his sword at him Vecna barely dodges slashing his stomach. He keeps swinging. Vecna barely dodging each time. If he keeps this up he’s doomed. Will slashes again and this time he stops the sword from hitting him but, even still Will can still move the sword. Barely but it’s moving. He looks at Vecna in the eyes and screams. The sword breaks through the barrier and hits him in the chest. Vecna is cut EVERYWHERE. He needs to do something fast. Screw it..

Vines wrap around him. He lifts up in the air, the air is all of a sudden heavy. Will is struggling to breath but no matter. He has to finish this. He has to finish what he started. The only way to get him down is to get rid of the tentacles. Will starts running towards him. Vecna throws a vine towards his way. He moves out of the way. He swipes another one towards him he cuts that one in half and it falls to the floor. He try’s cutting one of them but before he can his sword gets grabbed. It grabs his arm and pulls him up to meet Vecna. Vecna smiles and him before throwing him across the arena. He hits the wall and falls the the floor. Vecna comes crawling towards him. Will starts getting up only to be picked up by the leg and tossed again. He flys over towards mikes area. He hits the wall and falls next to mike. He starts getting up shaking in the process. He looks towards mike and sees his lifeless body sitting there. His eyes are white and his eyes and nose are bleeding. Vines are wrapping around mikes body. Consuming him. This is enough to get Will out of his mindless state. “MIKE! Mike.. oh god.” He crawls over to him and starts pulling off the vines. Mikes body is now free. Will picks him and holds him. “No.. no no no.” This just fuels him even more with anger. This is why he didn’t wanna get to close to him. He KNEW this would happen and yet here he is. He caresses his face. He turns back around only to find Vecna standing 40 feet behind him. “Pathetic.” Will turns back around and places mike back down on the wall. He places mikes shield on mikes stomach. He gets back up and grabs the sword. He shuts off his brain again “you are going to pay for that.” He lunges towards Vecna as fast as ever a big flash of light comes out of his sword hitting everyone that got killed but Vecna. You can hear screeching coming from the vines they don’t like the light. He stikes again he’s done pulling his punches. He keeps slashing finally hitting Vecna. He flys back and hits the wall. Another light blast hurling towards him. He jumps out of the way. Still burning him in the process. His back is scorched. Will comes stalking towards him Vecna gets up to try and stop him. He puts his hand up and Will slows down but he’s still walking. Vecna is getting weaker by the second. He starts walking around Will to try and run. Will follows him like a predator. He has the high grown now. He lets will go and try’s running. He knows full well he can’t stop this boy anymore. He use to be for scared of everything. He use to run from him. Oh how he missed that. That runt of a boy is now a full grown man. What has he made of him. Even his own father was scared of him. His own friends. His tentacles pull him up towards one of the holes to escape but in the process gets cut down. He falls to the floor. Struggling to get to his feet. Will grabs vecnas left arm and ripped it off. Vecna let’s put this blood curtailing scream. He turns his arm into a staff. His vecnas claw hand turns into a holder for the ball of fire. He points it towards his face “I think it’s time for you to take a big LONG rest.” He points it up in the air and this big light beam falls towards the staff. Powering up what ever he’s about to do. It shakes the whole town. Every one can see it. Wills seems to be illuminating. “Let. Them. Go.” He plunges the staff in the middle of his chest. Sending the beam straight into him. His screams get louder. Will starts to feel it too, He’s still apart of him, It burns. Tears start falling from his face. He then screams “LET US GO!” The beam just explodes and knocks him back.

Will hits the wall and falls down to the floor. He gets back on his hands and knees he looks up and sees Vecna getting back up. Will grabs the staff just in case. Vecna looks at his hands. He looks up at Will he try’s walking forward but his knees crumble below him. His legs become nothing just dust. He starts shaking then he collapses and turns into ash. Will stumbles to his feet in pain. He hears coughing and groaning. “Oh what the hell just happened.” “Where are we?” He looks over to see everyone one that died in battle getting up and helping each other up. He looks to see joyce looking around for him. They both stare at each other smiling. He tries walking towards her but he hurts to bad. It hurts to walk. His mom looks more confused. She starts walking towards him. “Wait!” He puts his hand up. “DONT move.. just please stay there we need to make sure all of you are stable.”

“We feel fine. Other than the pain I feel in my legs and my whole body. I think we are fine.” Lucas reply’s. “Just because we feel fine DOESNT mean we are.” Dustin chimes. “True.” Lucas states.

The ground starts shaking. “You all need to get out now. Just go.” “Will..” Joyce says softly “JUST TRUST ME ILL BE FINE GO!” Hopper starts helping all of them out of the upside down one by one. Will looks around and sees mike still dead. “What?” He runs over and drops his staff. “But how did.” He looks at the shield. The shield stopped him from being revived. He throws the shield to the side and places mike on the floor. “You better fuckin work.” He places his hands on mikes chest and begins to heal him. “Come on.. come on.. work..” he seems to be to far damaged. “No no.. please mike..” memories “No no.. please mike..” memories begin to flood his brain. All the good memories they have had. The bad ones seems to have gone dormant. His whole body starts to glow. Mikes heart starts to beat again. Mike lets out this big gasp of air coughing in the process. “Oh thank god..” will touches mikes face. “Mike, mike. Are you ok? Can you hear me?” Mike makes a groaning noise in reply. “Can you stand up?” “No, no it’s hurts..” Mikes too weak to stand on his own. Will starts to pick him up “ow.. ow stop.. please your hurting me.” “I know it hurts but we need to get you out of here this place is gonna collapse.” Mike looks at him with weary eyes. “You ready?” He nods. Will picks him up the place starts to rumble and shake. Will keeps his balance some how. Dirt and rocks start to fall. Having to dodge All of this shit falling down he manages to make it out alive. Going through tunnels, twists and turns. He hears voices, voices that sound familiar. The party.. shit they aren’t out yet.. “GUYS!” “WILL?!” “GUYS THIS WAY!!” The party starts to run towards his direction with things falling from behind them. They catch up to him.. the places is just crumbling at it’s seems. They barely make it to the exit with only a few second to spare. They all look at Will and notice a very week pale looking mike in his arms. “Holy shit.” “Oh my god.” They collectively say. “Is mike ok?” Hopper walks over and places a hand on mikes head as if that’s gonna do anything but, alas it does. “Noo..” hopper pulls his hand back. “What happened to him.” “Vecna got him. He’s gonna be sore for a while.” Lucas chimes in “do you think max is ok?” “I have no idea. Genuinely..” “is he heavy?” “No it’s like carrying a bag of grapes..” mike chuckles. Argyle chimes in “we should probably get home or to a hospital.” “Every hospital is closed..” mike interrupts “to many people..” “mike please stop talking.” “No..” “mike.. you are wasting your energy.. stop. Talking.” “Fine!” They all scoff at him. All of a sudden it starts raining.. the first rain in two years. “I would like the stars please…” robin says “the rain is nice tho i have to admit..” argyle states. “We should probably take this one to the hospital.” Will jokingly states, mike looks offended. “Probably?” Will chuckles “you know what I mean shut up.” “No.” “Ah finally.. the love birds quit their boring mating ritual.” Every one looks at Murray like he has three heads. “What! You all were thinking it.” They all have this ‘your not wrong’ look on their faces. “Alright let’s go.” Johnathan says. They all get in their cars and drive off. Mike, Will, Johnathan and Nancy get in the van.. while the others get in hoppers car and the RV. The hospital surprisingly isn’t that full. There is no danger be had it’s just not full cause it’s a ghost town by now. They check mike in and Lucas goes to maxes room. She’s not awake yet but she’s getting there.

They get mike settled in and give all of them a thumbs up. “His vitals are fine his brain seems intact. You might wanna keep him here for 24 hours just in case sm happens.” “So HES gonna be ok?” “Seems like it. We will keep you updated if you guys wanna go home.” “I think I’ll stay here..” will says “are you sure?” Johnathan chimes “yeah, of course.” “Ok, well call us if anything happens ok?” “Ok.” Johnathan and will hug each other before they head out. He looks at the nurse and the nurse nods and walks out. “Seems like it’s just me and you huh..” mike says. “Yeah.. how ya feeling?” “Sore.. tired.. hungry as fuck. Ya know the usual.” Will chuckles “oh, oh did you laugh? Mr my jokes aren’t funny?” “Oh.. shut up.” “No.. never.” A comfortable pause spawns between them. “Ya know.. it’s kinda funny.” Will looks confused. “What?” “we switch places. Normally I’m the one who saves you and your the one in danger.” “I guess I’m your Superman now..?” “Sure.” “This isn’t gonna change anything between us is it.. me having powers in all.” “Oh, no no. Why would you think it would.” Will scoffs “I mean.. not to be a dick or anything but you treated el different.. I just..” mike grabs his hand “will, i promise nothing is gonna happen between us.. it was different with el. Of course it shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have treated her like that. I can’t promise that there won’t be rocky points in our.. LIVES.. but I will promise that what you do in the future wont change anything between us..” “even if I rob a store” mike laughs “yeah, even if you rob a store.” Mike grabs wills face and places his hand on his cheek and he pulls their foreheads together. they both want to.. but they both scared. even tho the door is closed its still scary. will breaks the silents "are you sure?" mike smiles and kisses him. he pulls away with his forehead still on his.

"always."

[pingnova]

I've realized after years of pushing doctors and the system to get disability benefits so im no longer homeless and etc that so much of my "writers block" is my unmanaged disability. writing by hand AND typing on a full keyboard or my thumbs are exhausting - and painful. even dictation is exhausting - my jaw isn't aligned correctly and it gets sore very fast, and keeping my thoughts in order is a shitshow. I am exhausted all the time, to the point where thinking takes too much effort... so writing isn't even on the table. I don't have time to write between sleeping 12 hours and then trying to get survival tasks done (frequently failing) the few hours im out of bed. as some of my psych symptoms resolve and I cope better, I uncover more psych symptoms I wasn't aware of because they were buried under the worst ones - which is to say my unmanaged adhd is insanely disabling. I couldn't start a task if I wanted to (see, writing). but back when I was so buried in anxiety and depression, I had no way of sorting out what was the anxiety and what was executive dysfunction. the anxiety is well in hand by now, but the executive dysfunction makes me wonder how I ever did anything for the 20 years I was untreated for it. my psych recently prescribed me a stimulant for that, so we will see. but they also discovered I have cancer in my neck, the slow but stubborn kind, and so my endocrine system is messed the hell up... not to mention the literal cancer. and there are holes in my stomach, diaphragm, and lungs. so I don't absorb oxygen or nutrition very well. so I've been nicer to myself, just barely. "Of course you can't write, you're so tired it would be a miracle if you could, you can't work to sustain yourself or even do hobbies you love and its not your fault. You're sick and tired." whats frustrating is that none of these diagnoses are new, it's just that as a kid my parents never ever investigated when I couldn't keep up with the other kids and instead took that as a sign of disobedience and beat me for it. this could have been managed a long time ago. it's frustrating in a new way - less with myself and more with the general stupidity of the world I guess. it does feel better to tell myself to chill out more and stop beating myself up. the big thing is I still miss writing so much. it's nice to have an explanation and work on getting better and trying to train myself out of self hatred but none of that ends up with me writing, or doing other things I like. that's still kind of a ways off. now I don't hate myself for it, I'm just painfully pining away for it.

[dullweapons]

" has time not worn you out , ray ? " it's a genuine question , far from demeaning or taunting - very unlike him should one have met him timelines ago being ever so loyal to demise . a sigh and he stretched as he started walking again . " let someone else deal with the burden . that little hero always does his part , doesn't he ? who are we to interrupt that arduous process ? " - @flamboycnt ( specifically bo.tw era ! )

has time not worn you out , ray ?

what a stupid question : of course he's tired . he's lived just as long as you , lord ghirahim . he's seen the execution of gods , the rains fall until oceans rise & consume all . he raised monsters in an army to fell the crown & resurrect ganon . then watch it all come together only for the calamity to rip it to shreds . he's lost thousands of men in battle . lovers come & gone like a blink of his eye . yet here he stands before you . an echo of what he once was but still standing . like the ruins of akkala he was built to last .

so yes , he's worn out . threadbare to the point of being transparent . a single touch could render him nought but dust & ash ... but he's still here .

he walks behind the other demon as he stretches out before him . ray goes to answer but ghirahim speaks once more ⸻ & ray stops following . that little hero . yes , he always does his part . the goddesses little dog that always follows his orders thinking it is his free will that guides him even after learning of his fate to fight demise's hate to protect the land & the disgusting blood of the goddess . over & over again this little tale will be told . the stage dressing might be different & the actors may have different lines but always the same .

his hands ball into fists , his leather gloves straining under the pressure of his rage . what an arduous process indeed .

❝ you know he failed , correct . when the calamity struck he died . the king died ⸻ & i led the army to akkala where they died . where i died for fifty years . zelda locked away in the castle holding back our god . biding time until that little failure gets to try again ... ❞ he looks away , trying to swallow the anger that bubbles in his chest . return to apathy . let your heart rest in nihilism . its comfortably numb there ...

❝ my apologies , my lord ... but , what makes you think we have no role in this ... you feel it don't you . we're lucky he is mindless lest we'd be ordered to kill the remaining civilians ⸻ i almost want to . ❞ his hands are shaking .

im sick with hatred for hyrule .

the demon can't contain it , it boils in his body like a sickness - a fever ! this hatred . this utter madness to sit here & allow all of this to continue ! why does the goddess pick favorites ? why does god allow this suffering to endure through the enos ? does she think it's funny ? are you amused at the suffering of your people . they worships you like a child worships their parents . but oh ⸻ he knows the pain of falling out of love with them too . he growls before pivoting at the spot to a tree ... & slams his fist into the hard bark , rendering the tree into two . with a loud thud it falls to the grounds of the woods & the mist rushes away from them . he draws his blade & hacks into the tunk over & over again , wood splitters flying . he continues until there is nothing left but pieces & scarred earth in front of him & his blade . the weapon falls from his hand as his breath is labored .

❝ ... where is your anger . why aren't you as upset as i am . being forced to watch this over & over again : i want to destroy everything in my path for cursing me with this knowledge that this ⸻ this hell will never end . ❞

[many-many-bubbles]

I don’t like how I’m living and I know I have the ability to change it, why can’t I? Or won’t? Is it executive dysfunction? anxiety? Is it really? Or am i just lazy?

Like i know I can do this stuff cause i’ve done it in the past. I can draw. I can finish this coding class. I can pack up my stuff and move. Why cant i. Why wont i.

The next step is right there and im desperate to get past it but i cant or wont touch it?? I’m depressed and angry. What am i supposed to be angry at? Frustrated because of my mental illness? Mad at my circumstances? Guilty for letting opportunities pass me by?

My sibling came home from college in the summer and theyre doing everything im afraid to do. Theyre pssing classes and improving in art– oh my god theyre amazing– they got a cat and a partner and keep their room clean and dress nice and i. Theyre scared too but theyre doing it. Why cant i. Why wont i. Whats wrong with me.

What the fuck is wrong with me. I know how to fix it but i just cant or wont and idk which it is. Talking it out and reasoning thru it and figuring out what the problem is and what the solution is doesnt make me do it. Whats the point of talking to a therapist and learning things that i’m not going to apply? Not bc i dont want to but bc i. Cant change.

Am i whining that i have to do work? Am i lazy and entitled? I just want to be able to do. People telling me to do it doesnt help. Me telling me to do it doesnt help. The reward at the end doesnt help. What the fuck is wrong with me. Am i ever gonna move

Am i ever gonna amount to anything? And not in a success and fame kind of way i mean. Am i ever gonna be an adult? A real independent adult? With an apartment and friends nearby and a cat im able to care for? Am i ever gonna be worthy to be a roommate? A girlfriend? I want that. A mom? I want that too. But fuck if im failing at just making myself shower how the fuck am i gonna be able to do that. Nobody deserves me how i am now. Except maybe me. Cause i made this.

I dont know. I’m frustrated and tired and i hate myself right now. I just want to be worthy of being here. I want to be able to stand by myself. And i know i can but im not doing it and even if i figure out why it wouldnt help any because i wouldnt apply it. Or wouldnt be able to apply it? I dont know. I dont know if i want to know.

I know its silly and frivolous to say but i wish i could skip to the part where im fine. I already know i have to work for it dont tell me that. I already know. But fuck. It would be nice.

I hate myself why wont i improve why cant i improve why do i just lie here and worry. I can do thinfs. Why dont i.

[ot3]

hi hello i was rereading some quantum meruit pages and i was wondering! where did you learn comp like this!! its crazy distinctive and cool (you now own the primary colors, legally) and i'm curious abt ur process 👀

first of all thank you so much i really appreciate it!!

i wrote on this subject a little while back but that was almost a full year ago at this point so i've got some more to say and don't really feel like that post was super concise. that post i think tends to cover mostly the design philosophy but less about the actual mechanical execution of it so ill try and give a little of that now

i've been wanting to do a big writeup about composition for awhile now but i've been finding it really hard because the truth is it's more or less a completely intuitive process for me. i just go until it feels right. but i think the main reason my compositions look the way they do is because of my approach to tangents so i'll just talk about that + a couple other tidbits as best as im able here

there’s a lot to be said about tangents. this post is a REALLY good primer for thinking about tangents but i’ll boil it down even more to basically my own personal guiding rule: no two edges should ever touch, and no three edges should intersect. 

essentially;

i will almost never break these two rules. unless i’m feeling really tired and just want to move on without micromanaging everything i will make sure that every shape on the page is organized by these principles. i would rather break the perspective or the stuff i’m drawing and make it less technically accurate if it means i can avoid a tangent. 

obviously, the more shapes you have in an image the MUCH harder this becomes. gonna try and break this down with some page examples so you can see how that sort of manifests outside of a deeply abstracted visual

heres a page that has some of the most overlapping shapes out of every page in this whole shebang

overall, i managed to do a decent job keeping everything distinct but i started getting sloppier as things got more crowded and i got dick of working on it.here you can see highlighted in green every instance where i think elements get too close to sharing an edge or intersecting improperly. not a huge amount but you can see theres still a significant presence of it. but theyre all extremely small

chances are probably no one noticed these problematic areas except for me, especially the really small ones. so what’s to gain by being so anal about it? well the answer for me at least is that it allows heavy geometry to exist while still feeling organic. when things intersect abruptly or share edges it forces them into a sort of implied grid almost, and really makes everything feel much more artificial and lacking in depth than you want it to.

by being VERY careful about where and how things are allowed to touch both on the micro scale and the macro scale, it just allows me to make sure that the very flat and static images and objects in my panels still feel like theyre flowing because the way your eye is lead Between these objects doesn’t follow a stark geometric grid

heres a couple of breakdowns of what this actually looks like for larger compositional elements. when you break the ‘panels’ so to speak down into just their base shapes you can see the way theyre arranged to carefully follow these rules of overlapping and intersecting

(the phoenix ‘panel’ and mia and greg ‘panel’ in that last one have a shared edge on the left side, but thats intentional as theyre sharing a physical space)

of course, theres minor mistakes on every page. but to just be really actively considering this while i work helps me place the objects in a pleasing way

my speech bubbles also have to follow these same rules of overlap, which helps dictate the flow of the eye through the page. the way elements flow into each other is also REALLY important - you should understand exactly what paths you want your audience’s eye to follow. with comics you have the luxury of speech bubbles for that. a lot of my pages get away with disjointed paneling because of the flow of the speech bubbles. 

a lot of the time this ends up looking like a big S curves to take full advantage of the proportions of the page

if i wasnt working with speech bubbles, there’d be other visual elements here that i’d use to guide the eye in a similar fashion. 

heres some pages that have stuff going onto them thats closer to the way i’d direct the eye in an illustration. its super obvious and heavyhanded but that doesnt make it bad. its doing what its supposed to.

i also think understanding exactly what you’re trying to get across with the composition is critical, because the page layouts themselves convey information, rather than just being simple scaffolding that your actual visuals rest on top of, if that makes any sense.

for example these pages get forced into these strict nesting verticals, which not only provide a claustrophobic visual as things are sort of crushed between them, but theyre designed to mimic elevator doors. this is a visual motif used specifically for indicating that Edgeworth Is Freaking Out About Shit Right now. 

i think that imagery is pretty clear on its own, but since i’m working in a comic format i have the small luxury of being able to establish my own visual language. a composition might not have a clear meaning on it’s first time being shown, but through repetition it becomes shorthand for conveying a certain feeling. 

here’s a page composition i keep using for phoenix. none of these pages are particularly special compositionally on its own but by repeating this same visual motif i’m retroactively imbuing it with the narrative significance i wanted it to have. whether or not anyone is consciously picking up on it, there’s going to be a twinge of familiarity every time it’s seen that helps hammer in the character stuff i’m going for.

then similarly theres pages that are designed to interplay with each other on a less 1:1 scale, like these pages of edgeworth and mia which is just the same composition flipped upside down. They’re both supposed to get a feeling of a sort of disempowerment across, but not in the same way. 

basically i guess if there’s one takeaway from all of this its to be deliberate

i know i said this is an intuitive process for me but just because that’s the case it doesn’t mean it’s an automatic one. every single element in an image is placed with intent to convey a specific feeling or lead the eye in a specific direction. if youre really thinking about what you’re doing youll get better at accomplishing what youre trying to do. theres no wrong way to do it so you just have to try and figure out what you like. 

i hope any of this was helpful !