#to the point where I wanna cut myself purely out of anger and from being triggered so much

[necroticghost]

omfg, someone being over at our place triggers my ocd like nothing else

[chekhovs-nailgun]

i have some thoughts on coping thru fiction and using fic/writing as a general tool that i wanna put out there. warning: i will be discussing grooming below the cut.

so to get it out of the way, i was groomed when i was 11. i don’t think this is the time nor place for me to go into a whole ramble about the specifics of that, so i won’t. all that’s necessary right now is that it happened and within a year i started adding similar dynamics to a project i was working on.

it was a sideplot during my first nanowrimo attempt centered around a post-apocalyptic scenario. the jist of it was a kid in his mid-teens, think 16 or so, was romantically obsessed with a mid-20s, closer to 30 woman. the age difference was about the same. i would ask for advice on the story in general from my mom (phd in psychology, literally never had a problem with it lmfao, funny how that works).

was it ass? absolutely, it was. a 12 year old wrote it. it’s never seeing the light of day lmao. but it was really important in the process of me not fucking hating myself for years for thinking/internalizing that it was a moral failing on my part.

the thing about it is that at the time, it didn’t feel like coping. i felt like i was just writing about something that happens. fleshing it out in that sterile environment helped me get a grip of how fucking gross what happened to me was, while putting myself in a position where i had control over what happened, something i didn’t have irl. i didn’t even realize that’s what happened until i thought “ah yes, i started writing dark fic when i was 12, the same calendar year i was groomed.”

“…”

now i look at people arguing over the semantics of it, with fic of that type being morally reprehensible with exceptions like “only if you never share it” or “only if you use it to cope” or “using it to cope is morally reprehensible for this-or-that reason, don’t interact with it in any way other than seething rage or some other specific way”. while seething rage and pure fucking anger can be a totally fine way to deal with it, people who think in these kinds of ways need to remember: not everybody is you. making broad assumptions, nitpicking, and believing that your way is the only correct way does nothing but harm other victims by taking away an opportunity for them to work out their trauma, at best. at worst? it allows more predators to hide and commit tangible harm due to widespread assumptions that the people hurting others are the people posting fic, and not the “safe” adults playing into kids’ interests and making them feel important and special. (source: that’s what mine did; yucky bad fanfiction was never a part of the equation.)

i know what the response to this is. “ackshully posting it is doing harm because it normalizes it and gives predators the confidence to act on the thoughts they already have; the human psyche is more sensitive to porn and if you get tired of fiction you’re bound to turn to nonfiction”. this is where the age old disagreement comes into play, and while i don’t see much of a point in rehashing it for people who already have their minds made up on it, i would like to note a couple of things, firstly that humans aren’t mirrors. most people see things like this and recognize it’s wrong, just like they recognize that other subjects criminalized irl are wrong, such as murder, theft, etc. if somebody sees something problematic and decides it’s a good way to act, there was something already wrong, be it undiagnosed mental illness or being too young/impressionable to participate safely in such circles. i also find this viewpoint really cruel in that it takes responsibility away from the actual predators, essentially painting them as wild animals who “couldn’t help it, they became desensitized and just had to have more of that vile content you people make” when grooming is, at its core, a desire for power over another. im gonna come out and say it: predators are smart. they are called predators for a reason. thinking of them as lawless beasts who operate out of instinct is entirely disrespectful to victims.

the cold hard truth of the matter is that darkfic, no matter how disgusting people find it on a case by case basis, is morally neutral. it cannot damage anybody by simply existing unless warnings are ignored or it is actively weaponized, sometimes meaning that the content itself is removed from the protective warnings and wantonly put on display for large audiences of underage people to see.

i personally don’t like a whole lot of darkfic, im really picky about what i read. and i think that no matter my thoughts on it, it has a right to exist. idc, consider me a “bad victim” lmao. if you do that’s your cross to bear, not mine.

tldr: sometimes you need to express shit and fuck you if you try to enforce your own feelings on others trying to do so

[imagineimpact]

Could i request Diluc angst oneshot where reader and him get into a big disagreement or argument where Diluc makes them cry and feel really bad about themself so they go and end up hanging out with Kaeya a bit much cause he offered to cheer reader up and Diluc won't apologize. until he see's his s/o hanging out with Kaeya

I actually wrote 2 different versions of the ending for this, but this is the one I decided to go with! If you want the more angsty version do let me know.

Anyway,

Harsh Words

Diluc x Reader

Screaming. Yelling that could be heard throughout the Dawn Winery residence late into the night, heard only by the maids, the night security, and perhaps a late worker or two.

And of course, by the two individuals who held the voices.

It was rather unusual for the two of you to be at odds; and, on the occasion in which you were, it wasn’t nearly to this degree.

But the two of you were outright screaming at each other. It wasn’t even about one thing anymore - it was everything. Whatever you had been arguing about had reached the point of irrelevance; It never should have reached this point and you knew that, but you were under fire and you couldn’t stop.

All you knew was that this was Diluc’s fault, and that you couldn’t take this kind of argument.

“If you just thought about your actions for once-”

You cut him off, “Oh don’t try me with that, you’re the one treating me like I’m an idiot and trying to control my-”

“If you had just listened for once and been less of a selfish bitch then I wouldn’t have to!”

His words had cut far deeper than either of you had expected, and you physically recoiled at the words, a sudden wave washing over you which forced tears from your eyes. The truth in his words was irrelevant - It felt true, even if it wasn’t.

You turn away from him. In spite of your state, he makes no move toward you. None, not even to give you the slightest feel of any comfort. You knew - he wanted the words to cut through you.

You go to the door and slip on your shoes, leaving the room as fast as you humanly could.

You can’t take this anymore.

But you don’t make it past the front door. As if by telepathy, Diluc has two of his night security waiting by the door in a stance showing you that they’re ready to make sure you don’t leave. They block your path, silent in their menace. When you turn around, only then do you notice Adelinde and Hille quietly staring at you. Diluc’s footsteps down the stairs are a slow horror, an even pace which served to only emphasize that feeling of dread; Very easily, this felt like the perfect time to be murdered.

The drawl of footsteps approach, yet cease a few meters away - he’s far too distant to do anything himself. His eyes lock on yours, quietly assessing you.

“Diluc, let me leave.” You hiss through streaming tears. You nearly choke on the tension in the air.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes don’t show any expression, show any remorse or guilt, or even happiness. Truly, there is nothing in his eyes.

“Let me make myself clear: You are not leaving this premises in the middle of the night. Do you understand me?”

“Not even slightly.”

Silence. His eyes flicker, the way they do when he sees an abyss mage, or when Kaeya makes a comment that goes a little too far - pure anger.

“Adelinde, fix up the guest room.”

“No need. I’ll be leaving now.” You scoff.

Diluc tilts his head, peering over you and towards his security as if to say ‘don’t you fucking dare let them through’.

Then another look, and you feel yourself being pushed into the house again, the slam of the doors behind you.

A wave of anger washes over you, and you can’t help the excess of tears that fall, harder now than they had been before.

Diluc holds his ground, staring at you silently. You shake your head and look away, not sure what to do with yourself. Their staring puts you in pure disarray.

“Adelinde.”

“Yes, sorry.” She mutters, bowing and taking her leave in the direction of the guest bedroom in order to prepare it for you.

When she’s gone, you shake your head. “I’m not going to be sleeping.”

“Then stay in your room. I don’t care.” He huffs, turning away and wandering back up the stairs, his footsteps seeming less menacing now.

The argument was done.

Your eyes catch a light outside the window, seeming to exist a far distance away. Maybe it was the fire of a hilichurl camp.

What time was it? Surely the sun would be up soon anyway.

Fine. You would leave then, no matter what.

When you got to your room, you actually did manage to sleep. Not nearly enough; An hour was nothing in the long run, but it was still just slightly enough to not feel entirely exhausted.

Still, the sun was up when you arose, and you lay in the bed, uncertain as to what would happen when you left the room.

If Diluc wasn’t going to apologise, you wanted nothing to do with him.

So, after a little while of resting, it was a surprise to hear a knock at the door. You were summoned to breakfast. Nearly the entire time, you and Diluc sat across from each other - an oddity indeed considering he would always insist that he wanted you seated beside him - this time, however, you were as far from his as possible within the confines of the seated table. The usually empty seat felt hard beneath you, not softened by an everyday presence. Your usual seat to his right - where your plate had been placed before you had taken it to where you were now - was empty.

Neither of you could look into each other’s eyes. The silence, broken only by the light clinks of cutlery, felt burdenous.

You expected him to say something, anything really. You could barely eat the food on your breakfast plate, and without any words, you didn’t feel all too comfortable anyway. You let out a quiet sigh and stood up, tucking in your chair and lifting your plate to take it back to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Diluc’s voice was quiet but the harshness in it was unmistakable.

“I’m not hungry.” You looked down at the plate in your hands. “I’m going to Mondstadt.”

Diluc stood up suddenly, pushing back his chair and stepping close to you. The sudden movement caused you to shutter slightly, and he pulled back a bit. Still, he tore the plate from your hands and placed it on the table. “When you return, be ready to have a serious conversation.”

Oh.

You opened your mouth to speak, but then huffed and turned away. “Right. I’ll look forward to getting yelled at again.”

Diluc scoffed, “Stop acting like a petulant child.”

“I’m not doing this right now, Diluc.” Your feet are moving before you can even think about it. This time, as you approached the door, no one was there to stop you. You left with no present company to watch over you, and you knew that today was going to be a long, long day.

——

Mondstadt thrives with life, as per usual. Because of how bright and pleasant the place is, any spec of gloom is extremely obvious on a day like this.

You took to the adventurers guild to take some commissions. Maybe killing some hilichurls or slimes would take your mind off of it all, or maybe just delivering some needed materials to someone.

The entire time you had been speaking to Katheryn, you felt eyes watching you, but you didn’t want to make it obvious you knew. Alas, it was only moments later that you startled at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

“No need to be so surprised.” The familiar voice chuckles beside you.

“Good morning, Kaeya.” You let out a soft sigh, the exhaustion of the day before wearing into you. You thanked Katheryn and turned your attention to Kaeya. His eyebrows twitched and his expression shifted as he studied you.

“What happened?” He asks rather blatantly, eyes clouding over. “Was it Diluc?”

You took a deep breath. “Wanna join me for commissions?”

Kaeya scans your eyes. “As long as you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Come on.” You nod, wandering out of Mondstadt with him.

The slowly falling night brought you back to Mondstadt. You agreed to go to the tavern with Kaeya, a subtle kind of thank you for spending time with you today. It wasn’t like you were doing anything else anyway.

The tavern was already busy before you got there, people crowding around for a nights drink. You subconsciously step towards Kaeya as if shading yourself away from the crowded atmosphere and he is wary of your proximity. He draws you to his side, a friendly notion, and steps inside before you.

Charles waves at you both from behind the counter. Kaeya quickly orders a round of drinks and takes you to a table away from the bar.

“Hey, look who’s been dragged in.” Rosaria wanders over, quietly making soft chatter with you. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to spend some time together.

Kaeya eventually wanders away, grabbing your drinks and bringing them back over.

Time seemed to dwindle away, the mindless chatter with your friends giving you more than ample distraction from anything else that might have been happening.

“Master Diluc! Didn’t expect to see you here today.” Charles’ voice rings out.

Of course, that wasn’t going to last long.

You lift your head slightly, tensing up. Diluc is scanning the room, twisting his wrist lightly as he speaks quietly to Charles; The words miss you. You freeze as your eyes lock. For just a moment you’re caught in that discerning gaze before he nods at you and turns back to talk to Charles. Kaeya draws your attention back away, and you slip back into your conversation, not wanting to deal with anything else.

“I’ll get another round.” Rosaria gets up and makes her way through the tavern, leaning over the bar and making another order for the table.

“How many are we on?” You ask, already flushed from the… how many glasses had you even had?

“Five.” Kaeya laughs, leaning on your shoulder. “But now that the killjoy’s here, he’ll stop us from having our well-earned fun.”

“I heard that.” Diluc scoffed, passing by you.

“Good.” Kaeya wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him, more out of a delicate affection than anything else. Diluc’s eyes narrow at his brother, who just laughs in response.

“Get your hands off of-“

“Oh don’t worry, brother. I would never keep them somewhere they don’t want to be.” Kaeya mocks. “You, on the other hand, can’t say the same.” Even with his words, he loosens his hold on you and leans back a bit.

Rosaria returns with your round, greeting Diluc casually as she slips back into her seat. Your pissed off boyfriend wanders away back to his work.

It clicks in your hazy mind that the only reason he’s here is likely because you are. You laugh at the thought, then clink your tankard to the group and drink.

—

As the evening wears down, many people in the bar until it’s pretty much only your group and a few others left there. Diluc lets out a soft sigh as he watches you, trying to soften that jealous pounding of his heart. He takes a sip of his own drink - apple cider, of course. He could never slam back drinks the way that your group currently were. Where had the hours gone?

Oh, no. How many drinks had you had? Whatever was next, he swore to himself that he would make sure that it was watered down. At this rate, you were pretty much welcoming alcohol poisoning with open arms.

Kaeya, wobbly as ever, decides to be the one to approach the bar this time (mostly because Rosaria was leaning against the table, head folded into her arms as she groaned). Diluc shook his head. “No, no. The three of you will drink this whole tavern dry if I don’t stop you.”

“Oh, I’m not here to get any more.” He leans on the countertop. “I just want to know what the hell you did.” Kaeya motions over to you. You’re just giggling at Rosaria’s complaining, leaning over and patting her on the head.

“I’m not talking to you about this.” Diluc leans back, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Suit yourself.” He straights up. “I should probably get her out of here before you say something stupid.”

“I’m not going to be saying anything stupid.” Diluc shakes his head, looking over the list of all the drinks you’ve had this evening. “You’re all wasted.”

“And yet, you haven’t said last call.”

Seemingly to spite him, DIluc immediately does. He signals over to Charles to round up the remaining people. He knew to leave you last.

Kaeya’s laugh is enough to haunt him. “You make this right, Diluc.” He runs his finger over the counter. “Otherwise I will.”

“Get out of my sight.”

The cavalry captain laughs again, then wanders over to your table. He practically drags Rosaria back up, but she pushes away from him and made her own way to the counter - always a good spirit, she paid for her own portion of drinks and left. Being a nun, she probably didn’t need to use the money elsewhere.

Kaeya was two steps away from just carrying you out the door, but through his drunk mind he finds the clarity to understand just how absolutely inappropriate that would be to do, especially in front of Diluc. Alas, you lean on his shoulder as he assists your steps.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Diluc’s voice calls out, as if to stop you both.

“Usual billing.” Kaeya calls back.

“No, no.” You both look back at him. He shifts on his feet, eyes locking with yours. “I’ll be damned if you go home with him.”

“Then damned you are.” You roll your eyes, turning away.

He calls your name softly. “Step away from him. Come here.”

You take a deep breath. “I am so glad I don’t have to remember any of this.”

Diluc places a glass of water in front of you. “Drink this. You wreak of alcohol.”

“And you wreak of your hatred.” You sit down in front of him, knowing that it wasn’t about to get better.

Diluc’s eyes flicker up to Kaeya. “Get out.”

“Not happening.”

“Kaeya, this doesn’t concern you.”

“Their safety is more than enough concern.”

“It’s alright, Kaeya, just wait outside.” You pipe in, not wanting even more stress.

Kaeya agrees, quietly slipping out the door. Charles is told to escort him away, an act which may have varying success.

Either way, you sat in front of Diluc, not sure what exactly to say to him.

“I’m tired, Diluc. I’m tired of this. I can’t put up with-“

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out, interrupting you. “Please, hear me out.”

“I’m not going to remember-“

“Then I’ll tell you again when you will.” He leans over the counter, not wanting to be apart from you. He calls your name again, as if to hold your attention, “Can we talk about this?”

“I think we talked about this already.” You groan. “Yesterday, plenty of yelling. The Maids and guards can confirm.”

Diluc takes a long breath out. You lift the glass of water and take an even longer sip.

Maybe the barrier of the counter between you made you feel better. But, as tears sprung to your eyes, you felt so, so much worse.

“Do you hate me?” You ask, your voice squeaking. “Do you want to break up with me.”

“No, Y/N.” He reaches for your hands, but you had pushed your stool too far away from him beforehand that he couldn’t. He circles around the bar and gently grabs both of your hands, soft enough in his hold for you to be able to pull away. “Don’t ever say that. I love you.”

“Then, why?” You sob, turning your face away from him, hands still in his. “Why did you yell at me? Why wouldn’t you talk to me this morning?”

“I…“ Diluc stops himself, taking a deep breath. “I was angry. We were both angry.” He shifts, pulling out a stool and sitting in front of you. “I wasn’t acting rationally.”

“When you said you wanted to talk this morning, what were you going to say?”

Diluc hesitates, gripping your hands just a little bit harder. “I was going to ask… I was going to ask if you were happy.” He admitted, quietly. “But I can’t do that. I can’t put you through that.”

You tug him toward you, pulling his hands close to your face. “Why would you say that? I love you.” You sob into his soft skin.

He takes his hands away from your gently, slipping them around your waist and pulling you close to him, into his lap. He tightens his grip. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. “I’m so sorry. I never want you to cry.” He feels his heartbeat heavily in his chest, a distraught washing over him. “Don’t ever destroy yourself like this again.” He runs a hand over your back.

You don’t say anything. You’re way too drunk for many more coherent thoughts to pass your lips. You lift your head and plant a soft kiss on his cheek, and he softly kisses your forehead, pulling you back to his chest so that you don’t try to kiss him anymore - He wasn’t about to let that happen, you were far too drunk.

Diluc was ashamed of his thoughts. His guilt, rising only when he saw you in the present company of his brother, showing affection and finding comfort anywhere except for him. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, nor to you, but as you cried into his shoulder, he couldn’t help the wave of disappointment in himself that washed over. Why could he never be there for the people who needed him most?

“Come on, finish your water, let’s get you home.” He insists, though he holds you tightly still until you stir.

You take the water, sipping it with a slight indignance. He would have to apologize to you again in the morning, but he would do anything to get you to trust him again.

(Part 2 here)

[beann-e]

Arranged Marriages With Stoic Guys

female pronouns used for this one !

“ y/n you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to “

“ are you stupid of course I have to “ you snapped at your father who stood hovering over you a slight smirk on his face “ eh thought you’d want to hear what you wanna hear “

you scoffed trying to push his arm off your shoulders this was all stupid you didn’t want to do any of this

“ honestly i’m doing what’s best for you y/n you need this — we need this “ he sighed “ I mean don’t you want to help your family and yourself think about how well set up you’ll be “his eyes went stone on yours “ you need this “

you flinched at the way his sureness slipped into his tone there was no way you were gonna get out of this “ no you need this there is no we right now “

his face hardened as he held out his arm for you to grab “ shut up and grab my arm “

“ i’m not going out there with you “

“ yes “ his voice was threatening and quiet “ you are “

“ I said im no— “

“ look you’ve been weighing this family down for years yet, we’ve said nothing— and now you finally have the chance to help us — to show you belong in this world and you won’t ? are you serious “

His face flew up into a look of annoyance “ you have no other purpose than to help us that is why you were born to be shoved into a family rich enough to secure your own and your families needs and now you mean to tell me you don’t want to do what you were created for “

your mouth snapped shut at his claims

“ are you that disgusting that you can’t even help your family “

you felt your body go cold as he continued to press into you

“ you preach how we’re the bad people yet you do evil shit like this“

he scoffed looking down on you “ i feel nothing but pure disgust to even have to go out there and call you my daughter “

he shook his head in disappointment before putting his arm out for you to grab again “ grab it “ his voice raised “ and you better go out there and put on that glorious look of innocence his father liked “

you gulped as he directed you quickly out the doors and draped the piece of fabric that you wore on your head. Placing it over your eyes and walking you down the aisle that had been so beautifully decorated

you were suppose to be getting married today not that you wanted to but, you had to.

you were the only girl in a family full of knuckle headed boys who just weren’t smart enough for an arranged marriage.

This was your fourth time being close enough to being married off though you hated the other 2 there was one that stuck out to you and that was number three

Your third boyfriend was one your family never liked they saw him as disgusting, vile, and too dirty with his language.

To you he was caring and open and rarely ever talked too harshly to you as long as you managed to never piss him off. You were happy with him and he was the only one you could ever see yourself settling down with until he told you He would take care of you and only you.

That was the nail in the coffin when you brought him over to dinner one night and out of the blue he spoke loudly so everyone could hear him “ look — with this whole marriage thing when I do marry your shitty daughter “

his eyes coming over to look at you and sending a look of reassurance your way making sure you knew he didn’t mean it. Them falling back to look at everyone around the dinner table who moved comfortably in their seats not caring how he talked to you as long as they would get to live lavish

“ i’m not taking care of you guys “ he scooped up the leftover food on his plate “ i’m only going out of the way for her and her only — the rest of you are on your own “

he shoveled the food in his mouth speaking carefully and making sure to watch his words knowing how serious he had to be with them in order for him to be heard by your parents “ you guys are using her for money and I don’t like that i’m not taking care of shitty parents and two brothers who act like they can’t even tell me how to spell yen “

him laughing and turning to your eldest brother a small smile on his face “ hey jerk face “

“ uh huh “ your brothers body wiggled in excitement to be acknowledged “ what’s up “

“ spell yen for me real quick “

“ babe don—“

“ shutup needa prove a point for your asshole parents “

“ hmmm “ your brother thought out loud as your other one jumped in the conversation “ hey dude what’s yen anyways “

your boyfriends mouth flying open as he slammed his hand on the table “ actually scratch that — i’m gonna pay for them both to go to elementary school and be two tall ass bodyguards that talk and say dumb shit like this to scare the kids into learning “

he pushed himself out of his chair kissing you softly before leaving the room. The door slamming as your father followed him anger swirling off his body at not only your boyfriends attitude for not wanting to help them but for coming in his house and making a fool of his family

you never got any of what your third boyfriend promised because he never got the opportunity to come back and your father made sure to have you cut off all contact with him.

So lucky you

free wedding , new guy

“ smile “ you felt your face do what you were told immediately as your feet shuffled down the aisle anyone could tell this was painful or at least anyone who actually knew you and not the 100 paid citizens of japan who sat in your wedding chairs

The guy you were marrying is a hero so, you can see how easy this is for him to pay for. He had to keep this little ordeal in the papers but only so, his father could stay relevant or at least that’s how they explained it to you no one explained that this was your e—

“ y/n“ your fathers voice was sharp “ take his hand“ you blinked finally realizing you were at the end of the carefully laid out carpet “ pay attention don’t make us look stupid “

you smiled carefully at the male before you dragged your foot stepping up and using his outstretched hand across from you “ thank—thank you “

it was silent which you immediately understood you knew he felt no need to talk to you ‘ maybe he’s not that into talking in public maybe he’s a private kind of person ‘

yeah he was so private that he said nothing but his I do’s and his occasional mhmm’s when you tried to get to know him with this continuing all night you never got to. This was all set up between his father and your own. you and him had no knowledge you were getting married today from what your father told you

“ so how— how is hero work “ you questioned as you two sat in the busy hall waiting for the doors to open up to allow people outside into the courtyard for pictures “ I hear you are one — a hero I mean “

you looked up to him as he faced forward his mouth making no attempt to move “ what really no it’s that hard ? “ you looked off speaking to yourself “ wouldnt think hero work could ever be hard“

“ did i just witness you ask and answer your own question “

your body shook as you felt heat rise up in your body your temperature high hands starting to feel sweaty “ oh uh “

“ if we have to get you checked for mental health problems i’d like to do so early “ he never broke his gaze from in front of him even when the doors opened “ I do not want to wake up with a knife to my chest or walk in on you talking to your imaginary friend after work “

you face dropped you understanding you were getting no where in communication with this man. You grabbed his outstretched hand and let him weave you carefully through the many people you didn’t know finally he stopped only to grip your hand tightly “ don’t move and wait quietly please“

you nodded your head as you watched him talk to the photographer guessing they were discussing where you were gonna take your pictures

“ hello there y/n “ you heard a booming voice say turning around only to bump square into a hard chest

“ or should I say daughter in law “ his voice scared you it was something about the way he was so sure of himself something felt wrong here

“ oh um do I— I know you “

“ of course you do “ he pointed to your new husband smiling “ you married my son an hour ago “

you shook your head uncomfortable with being left alone with now not only one person you didn’t know but also two plus a room full of people you couldn’t even name “ excuse me if I seem a bit “

“— lost , ditzy, bimbo like “

“ w-what bimbo? excuse me “

“ it’s ok as long as your quirk is as good as your father tells me I am fine with your intelligence level not being up to par my son is fully equipped with the knowledge to take care of a woman and provide like a man should “

“ I-“ you thought for a moment deciding on if you should go all out on the male that stood before you retracting into yourself when you thought of your father

“ oh y/n i know — it’s the bimbo tendencies? yeah here i’ll make it easier for you is there something you wanted to say“

you flinched at the statement smiling and presenting yourself happily as he smirked down on you ‘ he knows what hes doing ‘

“ no no nothing at all “ you said feeling his large hand pat you on your back “ good girl— get over there my sons kinda dense when it comes to talking to people “

you smiled to hold all the hostility in your voice “ yes i’ve seen so much of his density in our one hour together I find myself wondering how he can provide for me without proper communication skills “

the males eyebrow raising at your ability to speak back to an elder “ hmm he suffers with interaction due to lack of affection— childhood trauma as people your age like to say “

his smile tight and not fully reaching his ears “ I do expect that you’ll show him the proper amount of affection no matter if you got dragged into this or not “

you turned on your heel leaving the annoyed male to his own thoughts your hands coming up to interlock over your new ‘husbands’ shoulders “ hi shoto “

he bristled at your touch his shoulder moving to drop your hands as he pretended to stretch his arm in a small circle side eyeing you carefully alerting you to not touch him without permission again before he turned back to the male in front of him voice low “ I do not understand why I cannot take the photos the way I want to “

“ your father sai— “

“ their my spouse ? “ he was direct with everything he said “ it’s my wedding “

you could feel the questioning in every word he said voice low almost threatening the male in front of you “are you going to believe a 90 year old geezer who just found out beating kids is wrong or are you going to believe your beloved pro hero ? “

you could hear the teasing he held at the very end that even made you want to move just as fast as the photographer in front of you and follow after him

“ how do you want to take the photos y/n “ Shotos eyes looked down on you expectedly as you shook your head in confusion ‘ how did I end up picking our poses he wanted to change the generic one that was preplanned‘

you looked into his face as his eyes morphed into a look you couldn’t quite figure out “ i’m guessing you did this for me ? “

he shook his head slightly “ oh so you thought I would want something different from the basic ph— ok um “ you smiled as you turned to the front “ can we just do a um — maybe a hug but he hugs my waist that’s always a pretty marriage picture “

you moved to look back at him as the photographer agreed shoto moving carefully to stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist hesitantly “ you can — it’s ok “ you felt as his shaky arms snaked around and sat in the spot that you guided them to your arms moving over them as your hands tried to soothe his jumpy ones

“ hey calm down “ you laughed “ just a picture — not me waging war on you family “

he looked down on your smiling face his own going through so many emotions not able to tell which one he wanted to show “ at least not the rest of them — your father maybe “ he watched as you turned back around the camera clicking as a genuine look of interest for you passed over his face

“ do you guys want to take another one “

“ um I think we’re good he doesn’t um— he doesn’t seem like a photo- e guy and i’m not very photogenic “

the photographer shook his head in understanding letting out a sigh of relief that he held as you moved to walk off your husbands grip tightening on you “ hey I — you can let go now sh— “

“ do you remember earlier “ he questioned “ when I told you to stay put “

your body flamed as you knew you’d done something wrong immediately feeling like you should try to defend yourself

“ why did you walk off “ his eyebrows furrowed “ how — why did you disobey orders “

“ I just—- I didn’t — your father— he — he came up and he— “

“ either way you didn’t listen you moved from the spot I placed you in” his eyes were staring holes into yours daggers really “so no matter who spoke to you — you were in the wrong “

“ I — it’s my body I can move “

“ yes you can in the spot I placed you “

“ I don’t even know you I don’t have t— “

“ that’s how it works “ his voice roared looking to the ground eyebrows furrowed as he was trying so desperately to understand you “ that is how it works in a marriage you listen to me —when I tell you to do something you do it and when I tel— “

“ no it’s not what — I” your face made up in confusion “ who told you these things —- this is ? i’m not a kid I am your wife now—we’re on two equal playing fiel— “

“ no “ you gnawed at your lip as he waited for a rebuttal seeing as though you had been answering him back after everything he said standing up straighter when he seen your tightly closed mouth “ i’m done with this argument I was just curious of something and you answered it “ he unwrapped himself from your body and turned to leave tugging at his suit

you not knowing wether to follow him or leave him be choosing the first option when he turned over his shoulder and stopped his movement

voice coming out short you were so confused with your new ‘husbands’ behavior he expected almost everything from you as if you could read his mind without words “ sorry — sorry “

he shook his head in understanding as he went to get his car from the valet opening the door for you as he opened his own getting in and setting himself up properly for a nice drive

your back hitting the seat hard when he took off your mind racing thinking this may be punishment for your words and anger towards him earlier.

‘ maybe he’s gonna play fast and furious while i’m In the car to get me to shut up ‘

“ I do not intend to scare you if that is what you are thinking “

he looked into his side mirror as he got over into another lane “ but I do intend to build structure where I see there is none “

you knew you should be quiet right now is not the time to fight for your rights in this new relationship not when he was driving like he’d never heard of a car accident

“ and I am not sure about you but I do feel right now is the best time to set that in place seeing as though I don’t know you and I doubt you even want to know me “

he waited on your answer “ when I stop talking that signifies you may speak “

“ sorry yes— no I do want—want to know you “

“ that’s interesting “ he sat back in the drivers seat as he eyed the road carefully slowing down a bit when taking in your answer “ i’d like to think that we were both forced into this “

“ ye-“

“ but that is simply not true “

your eyes refused to blink “ neither of us were “ he slowed the car down even more as he pulled into an underground parking garage “ you were handpicked by myself because I was asked to find a spouse to spark some uproar in the headlines or else i’d lose my title of number three hero and I am not too keen on giving that up right now with my father being number four and only living to climb the ranks “

he turned his car off as he turned to you “ i do not want to give him that enjoyment— “ he sighed “ you are not necessarily wanted nor needed— the only thing I can ask of you is to uphold this facade out there and i will give you and your family— everything i originally signed to in the contract“

he opened his car door as he stood fixing his suit again “ in here — my house you either follow my set of rules or you will be asked to leave and id honestly hate to ask you to leave “

you heart fluttered so he was interested in you

“ because then i’d have to talk to the media and I do hate when they ask me questions they have the material to supply themselves an answer with “

you heard the slam of the car door as you got out yourself hearing the two beeps from his car when locking it following him up the stairs as your eyes blinked several times

no

no no

no

you followed him up the elevator images flashing In your mind as you looked to the buttons remembering the number all too clear as he stepped out and onto the floor opening the door to the pent house your sweaty hands fiddling with the bottom half of your dress

“ shoto”

“ todoroki inside please my love — also “ he moved to his kitchen stripping off his jacket “ baby goes for me —my love goes for you in or out I don’t care — but do not overuse it — you will only annoy me “

you smiled softly trying to rush to ask your overwhelming question that was buzzing around inyour mind “ baby do you um— by any chance do you happen to have a rooma — “

“ who the fuck left the door open “ you heard the voice your ears had missed so much your body wanting to drop to the floor after hearing it “ shitty icy hot always coming in places and just leaving shit open— it’s like you don’t even know privacy “

“ well that is true I have never been awarded such thing as privacy I was off throwing up on tile after a long hard restless day of beatings “

“tch always so quick to spill your shitty trauma — wheres the bitch you set yourself up to marry “ he scoffed as you heard him nearing the kitchen “ marry for hire I mean “

shoto nodded as if the male could see it closing his fridge making his way over to you pushing you to follow him towards the loud deep voice “ she’s here actually though she’s going to be busy in a moment — you’ll have some time to meet her afterwards I promise “

“ god — if it goes on all night I swear — still can’t believe you hired some weird bitch to marry you and the whor—holy fuck “

Your eyes rose to meet his as you saw the tall blond drop his grenades he held in his gloved hands the loud clang echoing throughout the house “ my god I do ask bakugou if we’re going to stay together due to the department , that you do watch how you mess up our house , you have free range to destroy anything you want inside your own room “

“ shut —shut the fuck up ice tray“ his eyes narrowed on yours as he pointed at you “ this is the — the bitch you went to marry today — the one you picked out “

“ yes — I — is there a problem “ shoto turned to look you up and down “ though I did suspect some mental health challenges earlier i’m sure you can’t notice them up front right “

bakugous body shivered as he took a step back from you his body prepared to run

“ bakugou i’ve never seen you this “ your grip tightened on your dress pulling it up in the back hand dipping low to grab at your cell phone knowing you would have to call for help if he decided to be the bakugou you knew and kill you your ears listening closely as shoto spoke “ this afraid it’s quite eventful “

“ you— you dumbass “ he kept his eyes on you “ get the fuck out this isn’t the place for you— go back to your run down shitty cottage or something “

shoto stood confused as bakugou ran to grab you his hand tight on your arm his body stopping eyes made up in sadness face dropping as he felt himself wanting to scream and cry all at the same time. Hand only gripping harder onto your figure

“ what is the meaning of this —- I find this disgustingly rude — bakugou “

he shook his head eyes dropping to the floor your heart breaking he won’t even look at you that’s how bad your father screwed things up for you

Him pushing you away from him and towards the door as he spoke low hurt and pain ripping through his voice “ she’s gotta go “ his body moving to walk away “ now “ he screamed “ unmarry her or some shit—I don’t wanna see that bitch when I come back out here “

“ katsu— “

“ don’t you dare say my name not like that not with tears in your fucking eyes and sounding all sad and shit the last time you said it was the best time dont make me forget that shit “

your body shook in fear as his eyes weighed heavy on you shotos voice pouring out “ god bakugou please what are you saying your just being a bit of an— excuse my language my love but an — asshole aren’t you ? “

his body stalling when he thought back to a few moments ago “ wait how — how do you know his name “

your heart broke as you looked between the two men.

Just your luck that you would have to choose between a man who would most likely give you nothing but pure gentle love and supply your family the same only for one small thing in return or one that you missed so much every night you went to sleep

then again you would have no choice but to be married to someone that you’d already signed away your life to in a binding contract that stated your family and yourself would be very well taken care of and who were you to choose love over protection ?

[regrettablewritings]

I'm feeling a Nevada Ramirez mood (love that damn asshole) but if you aren't feeling writing for him then I give this up to authors choice. But from the current ships numbers perhaps: 3 (because I wanna get fucked up), 9 (because I have to), 10 (because I would like to know your thoughts) and 11 (because I am wildly curious)

("I'm feeling a Nevada Ramirez mood" Translation: "I want a daddy to spit in my fuckgng mouth" Sorry, I don't make the rules about language translation.🤷🏽‍♀️)

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope:

You'd always kind of sort of lived in a fairytale. In hindsight, though, you probably had to: It's what probably made being with his stupid ass a bit easier. Kind of like you were living in one of those stories where a monster that terrorized some bucolic tiny town could be brought down to size by a soul of pure heart. Maybe even regain his human form.

If only your story had had a happy ending.

In a way, Nevada felt he was to blame for that; clearly, sticking with you had really only encouraged that type of behavior, or so he thought.

And now look where that ended you: All that gross-ass makeup to make you look like your last moments hadn't been agonizing (the coroner insisted it had been quick, but Nevada called bullshit); those stiff clothes that you never would've worn unless you had to (Nevada never would've put you in them if he had more of a choice); eyes closed, never to see the telltale signs of the one you left behind coming undone (actually, in a sick way, Nevada didn't necessarily mind this; it spared him the humiliation).

There wasn't even necessarily any sign that you had been targeted; the general theory really was that you'd been taken out by a stray bullet. But in some part of him, Nevada couldn't believe that. He didn't want to. It just made so much perfect sense in his mind: You were just minding your own damn business, walking home after a shift ended a little later than expected. You were the very picture of innocent and unsuspecting, all vulnerable and without him. In short: That was the perfect time for some rival gang or some shit to take a shot at you.

And the thought made Nevada's blood boil to the point that it evaporated into the air, further polluting these fucking New York skies with his inner toxicity being exposed. He'd make whoever did this to you choke. But not before roughing them up a lil bit. Maybe cut off some fingers. Some toes . . . Maybe a pound of flesh as payment if there was any time left, who knows.

But first, his men had to find them.

To say that Nevada does not take your passing well would be an understatement. He's somehow more violent. Somehow a lot less tolerant of bullshit (and he already wasn't before). If anyone so much as blinks wrong, they run the risk of having a nearly feral fuck jump at them and attempt to rip their face off.

His men, who already feared and respected him, dare not occupy the same room as him any longer than they have to. They miss you as a person, of course, but they never knew just how much of a hold you had on their boss until that hand was gone.

Sure, he goes through the usual motions seen in others, like sitting in his chair, downing copious amounts of whatever was left in his liquor cabinet. And, of course, there's the stages of grieving: He's eternally stuck oscillating between guilt and anger.

He was supposed to be the one that got killed out here, him! Not you: Sweet, kind, patient, hard-headed, stupid-assed you! He got that, why couldn't God get with the program on that!? He was the dealer, the gang leader putting himself into all kinds of problems with others; you were just some innocent bystander who happened to get caught in his web, decide they liked it there, and inexplicably stuck around.

And now you're dead. He was being selfish, you were being stupid, and now you were dead.

He stares blankly at nothing before humming with a sip of whatever the hell is in his glass now, he doesn't fucking remember. Can't taste it anyway; his sense of taste disappeared, floated away with your spirit the moment he learned of your passing.

The pure-hearted soul that kept the village safe was gone; all that remained was the carnivorous beast, ready to rampage and raze the town to the ground.

9. Which one swears more?:

Just in time for the 20210 Summer Olympics, we have a new category to observe: Fucking Goddamn Cussing Up a Shitstorm! Representing Washington Heights, we have a cussing prodigy, Nevada Ramirez! Also representing Washington Heights by way of duel citizenship between the apartments, we have . . . You!

Okay but in all seriousness, Nevada is definitely the gold medal-winner here. Science indicates that cussing helps to relieve stress and for as collected as Nevada likes to appear in front of others, 5'9" is not a lot of space for stress to go. He's constantly bottling up that shit! What's worse, though, is that the fucker makes it sound elegant.

How does he make "fuck" sound so gentle when it leaves his lips with a cold-eyed glower!? Who the hell knows!

Erstwhile, you're a pretty good runner-up. Even if you were a big cusser before getting with Nevada, you could never catch up with him -- he's just had way too many experiences where he felt the need to pepper the ambience with some cursing. And if you weren't as into it before . . . I'm sorry, boo, but you'll be picking up that nasty habit of his like you were picking up the torch for the Cussing Olympics. Bon chance!

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other:

Noah . . . How did you know I was planning to do a preference on what characters watch with their S/Os? Not that I can confirm or deny that Nevada was in that one but --

Nevada didn't really watch TV a whole lot before you two got together. It was a mix of him not having a lot of time and him not having a lot of care to keep up with anything. Everything is so goddamn serialized, what's even the point?

Really, the only reason he bought subscriptions to streaming services was to keep you entertained for when he had to be out the house or some junk. But there were a few too many times where he'd come home late and find you curled up on the couch.

". . . The hell're you still doing up --"

"Ssh!"

". . . Did you just --"

"Yes, now sshhh! I'm about to see who this chick picks to go to bed with."

Of course, 'Vada is pissed; people don't shush him, he shushes them! What the fuck could be so interesting that you'd do that!? He takes his glare from you to the screen . . . and about thirty minutes in, he gets it. He'd never say it out loud, but deep down, he knows why you like Love Island. It's stupid, it's trashy, he hates these dumbass twenty-somethings making drama out of nothing, and for fuck's sake will somebody talk to the girl with the dark skin and short hair she's the hottest one there --

Of course, he tries hard not to show his interest, taking seats next to you when you're watching "because he's tired", adding his own commentary "because these pendejos need to know better", etc. And, of course, it doesn't fool you in the slightest. As amused as you are, though, you don't tease him about it; you're afraid that if you do, your stubborn boyfriend would put up a fight in the form of leaving you to watch your silly little show by yourself. And you really don't mind sharing the show with him . . . No, solitary watching is reserved for your cartoons.

Nevada may let things with you slip to a point but the moment he learns you like to watch anything animated, he's on your ass with the ruthless taunting. Which is like the pot calling the kettle black because 'Vada's secret pleasure is even worse: daytime soap operas. Admittedly, there's some sentimentality connected to them (he remembers being at his Abuela's house and seeing her get really into some telenovelas), but the fact of the matter is really more that he's invested in the drama and bullshit going on between all this lunatics who we're supposed to buy as being doctors or CEOs or whatever over-glamorized positions they're supposed to have.

He doesn't actually get to watch them often but . . . hey, that's what he pays certain grunts to do for him.

Okay I had way too much fun writing these so lemme just cut myself off now. Thanks for asking!!!

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet-chapter 11: he’s kind

All chapters

chapter 10

Dinner had ended and I was heading to Snape's classroom for my detention/private lessons. I was thinking about the whole Yule Ball thing, was I really gonna get up in front of tons of people that I didn't know? And then start singing? I mean what if nothing comes out, or they laugh and think I'm ridiculous. But like Hermione had said I didnt wanna disappoint my Godfather. Plus I didn't know how much longer he was gonna be around. I don't want to upset him, especially after how gracious and kind he's been to me this year. 

As I got closer into the dungeons and nearer to Snape's classroom I spotted Lockhart going the same direction as I. I stopped for a moment to see where he was gonna go. Sure enough he walked into Snape's classroom, when the door shut behind him I quickly ran over and pressed my ear to it. "Ahhh Professor Snape I have an inquiry regarding one of our students." I heard lockhart say in a cocky tone, the bastard better not be talking about me. "What is it Gilderoy?" Snape asked, annoyance dripping from his voice, what a power move, calling him by his measly little first name. What kind of a name is Gilderoy? It sounds like something you step in. "I wanted to say..how dare you remove Y/n from my detention like that! She did a punishable offense and should have gotten far worse than what I gave her, and she is to serve it with me!" he exasperated, gosh he sounds like a toddler! "Ms. L/n does indeed need to be punished and I see it more fitting she serves detention with me, since I am able to provide her with a punishment that will ensure she never does it again." Snape clapped back, look at him, sticking up for me, what a gentleman. I began to feel heat rise to my cheeks but ignored it to keep listening. "Look here Severus, I don't know where you get off telling me how to punish my students!" Lockhart said with more anger in his tone. This was getting out of hand. I wonder if I should go in. No, no Snape can take care of himself.

"Oh I know perfectly well how you punish your students" Snape said with venom in his tone. Wait. What did he mean by that? "I have no idea what you are talking about." Lockhart said clearly more afraid now. "So it would seem, now get out of my class I have a student who needs to serve detention soon!" Snape said, raising his voice more. I heard footsteps coming closer and hurried back down the hallway to pretend I wasn't eavesdropping. As I walked back towards the classroom, surely looking like a fool if anyone saw me, Lockhart left Snape's room clearly stressed. "Ah Y/n hello darling" vomit. "Professor Lockhart" I said, nodding and trying to walk past him. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. "Not so fast" he said, leaning over me, considering our height difference was almost a foot. "Is there something I can do for you, put a spell on you again maybe?" I said not wanting him to think he could intimidate me. "Look here, you may think you have gotten out of this one, but I assure you, I am not finished with you yet and you can bet! that I-" "Mr. Lockhart, Ms. L/n needs to get to her detention so if you could kindly step away from the girl and let her through we won't have any issues now will we?" Snape said, cutting him off as he came out of his classroom. I smiled and hurriedly walked past Lockhart over to Snape. He cleared his throat "No I was just leaving." he said scared and hurrying off down the hall.

We got into his room and I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you professor, although I'm almost certain I can handle that joke of a man." I said looking up at him. "Yes, well i'm certain you can take him as well, but we do not need to give him any reason to assign you another detention." he said, almost smirking. There it is again the almost smile he's been doing around me. Dare I say I bring some joy to this man's life. We stood in silence for a few seconds and I chirped up "Professor, can I ask you something?" I inquired as he walked around over to his desk and sat down. "Depends what it is." He said, stacking some papers. "Do you ever smile?" I said with bright eyes, walking over to my seat, hoping he would understand it was a genuine question. "No" "No you don't smile, or No I can't ask you that?" he sighed, "Both" I laughed "Oh come on there's gotta be some stuff that makes you smile" I said staring at him writing whatever teachers write down. "Not even taking away house points? Or first years blowing up potions?" "Well I suppose seeing Lockhart lose his position would make me laugh" he responded, I giggled and he looked up at me "Was that a joke? Oh even if it wasnt, that was funny, I would smile, heck throw a party, if that happened!" I said laughing "You know what would also make me smile? Knowing I'm not wasting my time giving you these lessons and you pass the test tomorrow."

"Well do not worry Professor I will not let you down, let's crackin 'shall we?" I said smiling and opening my books. "Pull your chair up and we will make sure you succeed tomorrow, I don't need you bringing down my class average again" he said with a hint of a joking tone but a serious face. I pulled up my chair and we spent the next three hours studying. I didn't even realize it was so late it was already almost 10:00 and I was growing tired, but I was gonna do anything to pass this test, if not for me, than for Professor Snape. As we sat and studied I noticed more features of Snape I hadn't noticed before, his dark black eyes were actually very...nice... to look at and his face seemed soft, worn and distressed, like he'd seen some stuff, but smooth. And that hair it was pure black and long but it was beautiful, it looked silky, like my fingers would just glide through it. Wait what am I saying this is my Professor, oh merlin y/n stop these thoughts, shut it down right now. I blinked hard to erase the thoughts and yawned. "Mm yes it is actually very late, I think you have done a tremendous amount of studying for the test tomorrow and I think you will do well." he said as I snapped back into reality. "Yes thank you Sir I will get going now." We both stood and he walked over and opened the door for me. "Thank you for everything, not just the studying, but Lockhart and the whole detention thing too." I said looking up at him. I wanted to hug him as a kind gesture, but I wasn't sure that was entirely appropriate, especially after the intrusive thoughts I had minutes prior. "Of course anytime Ms. L/n" "you know you can just call me Y/n. I kinda feel we are friendly enough now for less formal titles." "Ok I will try Ms. L/n" "And I could call you Se-" he put his hand up, "Don't push it" he said. I smiled and looked down at my feet to hide the blush I felt rising to my cheeks, heavens what's gotten into me why does this keep happening? "Ok well Goodnight Sir." I said turning to leave. "Goodnight Y/n" he said quietly as I walked off down the hallway, smiling to myself that he called me Y/n.

As I got into my dormitory I tiptoed quietly, to not wake my roommates, over to my bed. Oh I need to tell Dumbledore I'm gonna do the Yule ball thing. I wrote a quick note accepting his offer and handed it to Hera, "Take this to Albus real quick please." I whispered to her and opened my window, she flew out and I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I exited the bathroom and Hera had returned with a response in beak. I opened it and it was Dumbledore saying he was glad I said yes and was very excited to see what I would sing. I gave my owl a treat and closed her cage door, and laid down in my bed. I looked up at the ceiling thinking about the test tomorrow, my mind wandered to the potions professor, he was being so kind to me, I thought of his voice, and his eyes. I felt a little nervous tingle in my chest that went as fast as it came, this time it was a good one. What was that? Why did that happen when I thought of him, I've never really had that weird spurt before. I rolled over and closed my eyes, ignoring the feeling and falling asleep.

[eivorsjawline]

tw: the usual blood and cuts visuals

Chapter 7: Turn Back Time

Reader’s POV

A crescent moon lit up the night sky and the grass remained damp from the recent storm, crickets and frogs sang nearby. The wet, muddy terrain on the hill worked my calves as well as ruined my shoes. My escort finally dropped me off at the stones. Though I know it's odd dropping a strange woman off at a landmark in the middle of the night, he never asked any questions. The atmosphere was dark and cold, part of me felt scared to go back. There is always the chance that the stones could send me to the wrong time period, or even further back. I found love here, and even friends of my own. At least what I thought was love, even if the feelings were not mutual. How could someone so sweet and loving towards me flip within an instant. I questioned if I truly knew Eivor at all in the time I spent here.

Everything changed through the years, but the stones remained the same. Unchanged by any shape or form of mankind. People have come and have gone as they have sat and watched patiently. I wonder whether people have even noticed my absence and how I would explain where I was. It's difficult bearing the truth but having no one to tell it to otherwise I’d be deemed insane. I was back where my journey started, in the same spot engulfed by the tall rocks around me. The standing stone I had touched previously stood directly in front of me. However, I couldn’t bring myself to touch it as if a magnetic force was pulling me away. My name echoed in the distance from a voice I could recognize no matter how far.

Eivor stepped down from her horse with caution and let out a groan. Her knees appeared weak as she stumbled towards me and her voice dry and tired. I still felt anger towards her and wondered why she didn't just apologize earlier.

“Y/n, wait!”

“Why, Eivor?” 

“Im sorry, I’m drunk and I can't think right now. Please, forgive my harsh words… You deserve more than what I can offer you. So I…”

She paused and placed her hand on her stomach before dropping to her knees. I quickly moved her hand and lifted her undershirt to reveal she had been wounded. Though I’m not an expert, It was clear to see the wound was deadly. Eivor reached her hand outwards towards me for support. I screamed out her name whilst the anger in my body was now replaced with fear.

“Eivor, get up!”

She could hardly keep her eyes open and her body refused to stand up. For once, I had no time to think of what to do next. Running on pure adrenaline, I reached behind her and grabbed underneath her arms in an attempt to drag her but she was too heavy. My panicking only worsened from that point forward.

“Eivor, I need you to help me please… Just for a moment.”

Her eyes flickered with what little fight she had left in her body. I placed her arms around my neck, holding her wrist. This allowed her to place less of her body weight on me as I led her to the stone. She groaned in pain and could barely support herself. I quickly pulled her free hand onto the stone alone with mine.

This is the only way… 

Eivor’s POV

Consciousness started to return to me as a bright light shined in my eye, I could make out the voices of other  people around me. Everything was colorless, only white. For a moment, I truly thought I had died. I looked up to strange sounds coming from a machine that had cords hooked up to various parts of my body. Men and women wearing white coats surrounded me and they seemed to somehow know my name. I sat up to get a better view of my surroundings and my jaw dropped, unable to fix the frown on my face. I began to tug and pull out the lines connected to me and a woman advised me to stop.

“Where am I? Who are you people?”

“This is a hospital and we’re trying to help you. I need you to lay back down.”

The lights around me were so bright and everything so foreign, I felt genuine fear forming in my body. They mumbled towards one another, words I could not make any sense of. The woman in front of me started to fidget with a set of tools near my bed until I grabbed onto her wrist and she flinched. She squirmed and tried to pull my hand off before I finally released her.

“Tell me where y/n is… Please.”

“She's waiting for you outside… Doctor, she's moving too much she needs to be put back to sleep.”

What does she mean put back to sleep?

Before any further thoughts could form I felt a pinch in my arm and my eyes started to grow heavy. I could not fight my drowsiness so I succumbed to it.

Readers POV

I waited outside Eivor’s room anxiously. Thankfully, I had been placed in the exact same time period I had left. Nothing changed and I knew no questions would be plastered onto me by anyone I know. The door to Eivor’s room opened and a doctor greeted me, papers in his hands of x-rays and tests. He was a tall freckled man with thick brown hair and his glasses kept falling from the bridge of his nose. I stood up to shake his hand and waited for him to tell me any news of her.

“So, the wound has been disinfected and is ready for proper healing. We’ve done a few tests on her brain activity and everything is functioning normal. However, she has multiple scars all over her body. They look to be battle scars, oddly enough. I understand you tell me she’s a new friend of yours but do you know anything else about her life?”

“All I know is that her life has been a rough one… Now, when can she be released?”

“Soon. She’s very confused right now, unaware of her surroundings. Perhaps, once she's awake you can help jog her memory.”

“Could I at least see her now?”

“I’m assuming you’re not family therefore, I can't allow that. Leave your number and we’ll let you know when she’s ready to be brought home.”

I jotted down my number with the black-ink pen the doctor gave me. He told me she needs to be aware of her surroundings before any further stimulation. Even if the doctor seemed suspicious, they know only so little. I felt bad on the walk to my car, I didn’t wanna leave her all alone there but there was nothing I could do about It. I feared she would be angry with me once I picked her up. I started up my car and pulled out of the driveway, the rain trickled onto the front of my window and I turned on my windshield wipers. The drive back home was somewhat rejuvenating, being back relaxed me, I didn’t have to witness war and blood every second of the day.

I neared the driveway of my parking lot and pulled in. On the passenger seat my keys laid, I grabbed them and shut the car door. When I unlocked the front door to my apartment everything remained just as It was before, like nothing changed. My cat greeted me with a meow and I replied back with a scratch on her neck before making sure her food bowl was filled. I missed my life entirely, though I hadn’t been gone terribly long, a feeling of deja vu still resonated within me. The night would be long as I waited for my phone to go off. I turned the television on in my living room and kicked back, my cat laying next to me.

Just like old times...

Traveling through time seems to tire me, so I laid back and let my mind drift away. 

Eivor’s POV

I awoke from my practically forced sleep. I knew my journey to her would bring me here, to her strange world. Some more clothes would have brought me more comfort rather than this sheet they have me in. My wound was healing nicely, the pain of it wearing away though still sore. Some good ale would help me endure this. The nurses treated me well, making me regret how aggressive I had been in the beginning. My knowledge of the world around me made them suspicious but they knew I was fully responsive. We discussed my release, and they gave me news that I should get ready to go home. One of the nurses placed a bag on the chair next to my bed.

“Your friend left some clothes for you to change into when she left.”

A simple shirt and pants, strange material though. Surely, for such an advanced time I would have thought the clothing would be more complex instead, It was rather minimalist. The shirt fit rather snug but the pants were fine and felt comfortable. No one bared any weapons or armor, I felt nude without anything to defend myself with. Everyone seemed content and relaxed, I envied the people around me and the sheltered lives they had always lived. They walked around completely oblivious, and so did I. The concept was foreign but trying to fit in with the people around me was easy, just act like everything is okay. I heard a knock on the door once I finished dressing and the doctor came in to consult with me. He shook my hand and smiled.

“Hello, Eivor. Your wound is healing wonderfully. How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was.”

“The severity of your wound was extreme, even I’m surprised you made it… Your scars, how did you get them? If you don't mind me asking.”

I threw my hands up in the air trying to spare some time, my voice became soft.

“Oh, you know. Used to be a troublemaker, got into some bad fights.”

“I assume you're still troublemaking since that wound is fresh.”

“This one was an.... accident.”

Reader’s POV

The familiar sound of my phone started to ring. I knocked out so hard, I’m not even sure what time it is. I wiped the corners of my mouth before clearing my throat, the hospital was calling me. Anxiously, I answered the call and It was the doctor I had spoken to prior. Finally, I can pick her up from the hospital. I never got up quicker, throwing on some clean clothes and grabbing my keys on the way out the door. I whipped out of the driveway and headed towards Eivor, I think I may have even been speeding. Upon arrival I made my way to the desk to check into Eivor’s room. I took the elevator and pressed the floor number I needed to go to. Ugh, I hate the smell of hospitals. Disinfectants and chemicals everywhere, yet the taste of nothingness in the air at the same time. I found myself at her room door, and knocked to make sure she was ready for my entrance. The door handle twisted and opened swiftly, my heart began to beat faster when I saw the way she looked at me. I wrapped my arms around her neck and gave her a warm embrace.

“I’m so sorry It happened this way. We’ll get you back, I promise.”

“There’s no need for apologies, you saved my life. These people saved my life, there would be no going back home if it wasn’t for your quick thinking. I will admit for the first time there is true fear in my body for what lies out there.”

I chuckled, sure enough she had the look of fear in her eyes.

“Eivor, there’s nothing to be scared of. Come on, let me show you my home. Oh, I just picked the shirt and pants out real quick, sorry if the fit is wrong. We’re going shopping as soon as possible...”

Eivor looked overwhelmed, perhaps the bright lighting and a bustling hospital was a lot to handle for her. We stepped in the elevator and made our way down, the buttons and how we dropped seemed to fascinate her. When we got outside to the parking lot she was surprised to see all the cars moving fast, faster than any horse could go. When we got to my car I made a short, “ta-da!” movement with my hands.

“This is my humble stallion, she takes me wherever I like.”

Behold, my silver car. A few years dated but in almost pristine condition, I seemed quite proud of myself somehow. I opened the door for her and had to remind her to tilt her head down when entering.

“More of those…”

She pointed at the numbers in my car.

“They're called buttons, love.”

I turned the volume dial on my car and played some tunes. The surprised expression on her face when she heard what we consider music, we shared a look before smiling and laughing at each other. The moment was short when she ran her fingers over the functions, the radio station changing repeatedly and the heater kicking on and off… Like a child in a candy shop, touching everything in sight. Though I was trying to contain my laughter, her face remained serious and extremely focused. I got on the road to go back home, making sure to play some of my favorite songs for her entertainment.

[clueless-content-creator]

Lee Jaehyun x Kim Younghoon: Mistakes, Mistakes, and More Mistakes

Genre: Pure angst, The Slightest Fluff

Word Count: 3.4k

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Mentions of a Car Accident, Cheating, Manipulation, Slight Harassment, Swearing, (A lot of it) Happy ending!

5/28/2016

"Dear Lee Jaehyun, I'm heartbroken that I have to tell you this but... I already know that you are cheating on me. It was no secret.. At the very least not well kept. Unfortunately, I also know that it's been going on for some time now. Why would you hide something like this from me? We promised to always be honest with each other but I guess that was another blatant lie. I'm going to try to make this short and sweet and not to pour my feelings out but I hope you live a good long life with your new girlfriend. As much as I want to hate you for what you've done to me, I will continue to root for you and be happy for you because I still care... and love you. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your life, without me. Whenever you find this, whether it's years later, an hour later (after I've written this), or before you pass away. Just know I'll always be by your side.. Even if I'm not actually there. This is my last goodbye, I love you Hyunjae. Never forget me." - Jung Y/N

It has been five years since you've last seen Hyunjae. And a lot has changed, you and Younghoon have gotten together after you left Hyunjae. Plus The Boyz disbanded, but they all still hang out every once in a while when they all have a chance. You heard that Hyunjae is still with his girlfriend, and they are planning on getting married soon. He also has 2 kids with her already. (Which you heard he regrets too) But one night, he had enough of her whining about wanting more kids so he took a walk around the park hoping to get some fresh air. Instead, he got heartache at the sight of you on the swing with Kevin, Jacob, and Eric surrounding you. 'She looks sad.' Hyunjae thought. "Please guys, just- just go away! I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood to talk about my situation with Younghoon." Right as Jacob went to reply, the rest of the group came running out trying to stop Younghoon from going near you. "Sorry Y/n," Sangyeon panted. "We tried to stop him but he ran really fast to get to you." You shook your head, "It's okay. Just please give me some time alone." Younghoon disagreed, "Listen, it's not over for me." A warm sensation that rolled down your face distracted you. You didn't know you were actually crying until Younghoon softly wiped the tears away, bringing you into his embrace. "I'm so sorry baby, I really do love you." He whispered under his breath. He's right, he does love you but he's not in love with you, and that's the problem. "Please just get away from me!" You shouted at him as you yanked your wrist back, freeing yourself from his grip. "Seriously Younghoon, don't say something you know you don't mean." You sighed heavily. The rest of the group was quiet, not saying anything nor moving an inch. You pointed your index finger at them, "I knew you all were cowards but I didn't know you were all idiots. Did you really think you could hide him cheating on me with who I thought was my best friend?.. Did you!?" You screamed the last part, your hands gripping your hair in frustration. "I can't believe you all... I can't believe all of you actually covered up his lie." Sangyeon sighed deeply, "Y/n.. I promise it was a mistake we dared him to ask her out, it wasn't-" You felt the anger rise to an unbearable point. "A MISTAKE? A FUCKING MISTAKE!? A DARE ISN'T A MISTAKE YOU-! IT'S ALL YOUR GUY'S FAULT!" You yelled before, stopping to take a deep breath. Then collapsing on the ground, tears brimming your eyes. "I'm so fucking done. I've said enough." You sniffed before getting up, ignoring your scratched-up hands and knees. "Will you at least spend the night at our place? I-It's really late! If you won't let us do that at least let us or one of us take you home." Jacob pleaded, looking extremely guilty. "No. I don't want anything from you guys anymore, you've done enough damage as it is." He sighed heavily, his hands running through his hair. Trying to rack his brain to think of excuses to get you to stay. Hyunjae felt like he was watching a drama, he felt as though he could do nothing to help. So he decided to leave you and the boys alone, being the same coward you left years ago. 

You roamed the streets searching for a place to sit. Finally, you reached a closed restaurant with seats outside. You let out a deep sigh, feeling tears in your eyes as you remembered the night's events. 

Flashback 

It was just a normal movie night that you were having with the boys. You were enjoying it but something felt...wrong. It wasn't until Younghoon's phone rang several times and refused to tell you who it was that you started feeling unsettled. When you saw the boys exchange eye contact multiple times in a row, that also made you suspect them. You tried to relax and tell yourself that you were making things up in your head but as soon as he went to the bathroom, you grabbed his phone straight away. The boys weren't paying attention otherwise they probably would've taken it from you. But right as you picked it up you saw a text from 'Minju.' My best friend? He surely isn't cheating on me with her, right? But when you actually read the text, that thought changed almost instantly.

Minju💕💌: Hey sexy, why aren't picking up my calls? Poor thing, your shit girlfriend is probably making the worst love to you right now, so I'll leave you be and call later 💞 

You remember feeling sick to your stomach when reading that message. Thousands of awful thoughts went through your head. You knew that Younghoon was aware of your insecurity about him hanging around pretty girls all the time (or so you thought) but even with that, you still trusted Minju because she was your best friend and had a fiancée of her own. Wonder what happened to that... But you remember wanting to yell at Younghoon when he got out of the bathroom, instead you calmly handed him his phone and then texted him on your phone. Saying this.. 

My One And Only🥰: "I trusted you. And you, plus Minju both broke my trust. Please don't contact me ever again." 

He suddenly looked up at you in shock, trying to grab your wrist but couldn't. You quickly got up from your seat, grabbing your keys, phone, and bag. Rushing to get out the door, stuffing the others thing inside your bag. "Hey, Y/n!" Was the last thing you heard before running out of the apartment. 

Suddenly a cold presence beside you brought you out of your thoughts. "Hey there, pretty lady. Wanna come back to my home with me?" Your face scrunched up in dismay. "No thank you." He smiled before caressing your cheek, making you cringe even more. "Aw sweetie, don't be shy. Come on!" The stranger grabbed your wrist, then pulled you closer inches away from your face. You tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge. "Ugh, I said no-" He then fell to the ground. An unknown figure punching him until he was unconscious. "She said no... asshole." Your eyebrows furrowed when you heard the familiar voice. You gasped when you looked up, "Sunwoo?" He nodded, patting your head gently, then quietly asking if you were okay. "I-I'm fine, thank you.. What made you come back to look for me? I thought you guys didn't care whether I was okay or not." You spoke quietly, slouching back in the chair. "The rest might not, but I certainly do.. A-anyways Y/n, look, even though we all messed up in one way or another, you shouldn't hold a grudge for too long because before you know it something bad might happen and you won't be able to say a proper goodbye." You nodded quietly, taking in what he just told you. But, Minju and Younghoon don't deserve to have their apologies accepted. Before you could thank him for his wise advice, he got a sudden phone call. "Hello?" Sunwoo's face dropped, "They're where!? I-In the hospital?.. A-alright, I'll be there as soon as possible, thank you." He bit his lip before rapidly explaining the situation. "Come on, we need to go now!" 

The sounds of shoes squeaking against the tile flooring made you wince a bit but you ignored it. Sunwoo quickly went up to the front desk in a hurry. "Excuse me, I was the guy you were talking to early on the phone, do you mind telling us where rooms 126 and 127 are, please?" The front desk staff nodded and got up from her seat as we followed her steps to the rooms. 'Rooms'? I thought to myself. 'There's more than one person hurt'? I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, suddenly remembering my own cuts and scrapes from earlier. "Here's the first room, the second room is right next door." Sunwoo bowed to the woman and thanked her before hurriedly opening it, revealing Sangyeon in the hospital bed with cuts and bruises, as well as more than a few casts on his body making you physically and mentally hurt. "Y-Y/n!" He panted out, as I ran to him. "Don't force it, just relax!" I spoke softly while stroking his head. "I-I'm so sorry." You tilted your head, "F-for what?" You were shaking until he grasped your hands gently. "Younghoon's situation... I promise we didn't mean to do it on purpose- well, we did but we didn't think he'd actually make the move on her, but-" You sat there absentmindedly listening, blinking slowly. "You know, you're just making it worse for yourself.." He sighed heavily, "I'm aware, I'd just like to apologize for all of it," He placed his right hand on your cheek, making some tears fall down your face. "Oh gosh no, please don't cry! You are too pretty to cry." You both laughed at his comment. "I forgive you Sangyeon... Just don't even do this again! By the way, what actually did happen for you to get into this shape-" The door suddenly burst open making you jump which made Sangyeon laugh, "Y/n! Someone wants to see you." You didn't even notice Sunwoo left the room so you were puzzled to see him at the door. "Who?" You faintly asked. Sunwoo shrugged, "You'll have to see for yourself." He smirked slightly, walking out of the room to somewhere else. You looked back at Sangyeon, asking him permission to go with your eyes, him nodding in response. "You are free to go and come back." He smiles wholeheartedly. You thanked him and quickly sprinted out the door, seeing Sunwoo go into another room, but it wasn't room 127. You furrowed your eyebrows for a quick moment before shrugging it off, speed-walking into the next room. Before you went into the room you peeked in the little hole at the top of the door. You saw a few of the boys in the room surrounding the unknown person. You sighed dejectedly before opening the door as quietly as possible, except the creaking of the door gave it away as everyone turned to you. "Heh- Hi guys..." You cleared your throat as you awkwardly waved at them. Jacob jumped up and ran to you, "Oh thank Irene your okay!" He beamed at you making you smile back at him in return. "So, who brought you here then?" Kevin questioned. You turned toward the door expecting to see Sunwoo but he wasn't there. "Um.. Sunwoo did. He said it was an emergency so we rushed here." You looked down at the ground, feeling slightly unsettled. As you were looking down you saw a note on the ground that had "Dear Y/n," written on it. You heard some shuffling in the room so you quickly stepped on the note, preventing anyone else from seeing and taking it since it had your name on it. "Y/n-ah, are you okay?" Juyeon asked gently, placing his hand on your shoulder. You nodded, looking back up at him. Before you could register everything, you saw Younghoon lying in the hospital bed. You gasped and covered your mouth, moving closer towards the door, completely forgetting about the note. "You look like you've seen a ghost, are you sure you're alright?" Juyeon’s hand that was on your shoulder was now on your waist. "Yes, I'm great! I, uh- will be right back!" You reassured them before quickly running out of the room. You searched for the room that Sunwoo went in earlier. Finally reaching room 103, you slowly crept into the room seeing Hyunjae this time. But before any anger could fill you up, you paused seeing him also covered in cuts and bruises just the same as Sangyeon (if not, worse) as well as stuck in casts and wrapped up with bandages too. He was fast asleep so you didn't want to wake him up but you walked closer, still being intrigued by him as you always were. With the door suddenly opening plus the sound of a group of voices you knew sounded familiar, you quickly ran and hid in the closet. "Do you know where Y/n went? I can't seem to find her anywhere." Whoever he was talking to must've shaken their head judging by the fact they weren't talking. "I don't know either Sunwoo, just let her be. She doesn't deserve to see any of them anyway but Jacob said that she visited them and then ran off." I gasped slightly, which almost gave away my position, except right when I gasped the door flung open. "GUYS COME ON LET'S EAT!" Eric came bursting through the door, his loud voice making me jump a little. But while they were busy talking and deciding what to eat, I was trying to figure out what to do. Visit Younghoon and set the record straight, ask Sangyeon what happened for them to all end up in the hospital, or confront Hyunjae about all of the circumstances. Since you were in Hyunjae's room at this very moment you decided on the latter. You slowly opened the closet as soon as you heard the door close. Seeing the boys right outside the room made the adrenaline rush in you. Once again you quickly made your way back to the chair that was by his bed. You sighed heavily, taking his hand in your own. "I'm sorry Hyunjae for this mess. You should've never dated me... I caused this accident, didn't I?" You looked up to see him still asleep before sighing heavily once again. You started to feel yourself getting sleepy, and the next thing you know you are passed out while laying your head on the bed. Little did you know, Hyunjae was fully awake just pretending to be asleep and as soon as you closed your eyes he started stroking your hair softly, eventually making him sleepy and then falling asleep too.

Once you woke up, you went to get up from your seat, but you felt the warmth of his hand around your wrist. "Don't go." His voice was faint, hoarse, and barely audible, but it was just enough for you to be able to hear it. You quickly turned around to see him struggling to sit up. You quickly helped him, not wanting him to struggle "H-Hyunjae..." You choked out, not being able to say much. "I'm okay Y/n. I know this came as a shock but it's alright." He softly stroked your cheek as the tears that were previously being built up finally fell down. Before either of you could say another word the door opened, revealing Chanhee, Sunwoo, Kevin, and Changmin. You quickly stood up, trying to excuse yourself from the room except none of the boys would let you. You looked down in shame, "Listen, I know-" Changmin shoved you as he was walking toward Hyunjae's hospital bed. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." You could sense the sarcasm of his voice from a mile away. "Changmin! Apologize, right now! I didn't become the leader only for you to treat other people like human trash." Sangyeon was now in a wheelchair with Jacob wheeling him. Jacob was shaking his head in disapproval. "He's right Changmin, apologize to Y/n she did nothing wrong." Changmin was furious, "Nothing wrong?!? She was the one that put you in that god-damn wheelchair Hyung!" Sangyeon sighed, "That was my fault for not looking before crossing a busy road, Changmin. It's far from her fault, now let's just go eat-'' You quickly stood up in shock, "You got hit by a car!?" Kevin stopped you, "Well, not exactly. He was hit by a truck, a cargo truck to be exact." Your jaw dropped to the ground. Then turning to face Sangyeon. "Did you really?" Changmin inhaled sharply, "Are you fucking serious! Y/n, you left years ago with Younghoon without telling us a single word. Then you suddenly showed up saying you had a week in Korea to come to visit us rather than finding out that he was cheating on you only to be left by yourself... Sunwoo should have left you on the street." Sangyeon got up from his wheelchair, making Jacob panic. "CHANGMIN! THIS BEHAVIOR IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. LEAVE THE ROOM NOW!" You had covered your mouth in shock from everything that had just happened. Jacob brought Sangyeon back into his wheelchair, then took him and Changmin out of the room. Kevin and Chanhee called for the doctor to check on Hyunjae, and finally Sunwoo. He helped you stand up again after you fell down to your knees. "Are you okay?" He asked softly. You shook your head, "I don't know.. I think I should just go. Changmin just proved my point anyways, Hyunjae is better off without me and so is Younghoon plus Sangyeon won't have to worry about this kind of thing happening again at least!" Your broken voice gave away the fact that you were pretending to be okay. “Y/n, you don’t have to pretend in front of me, and you’re all wrong..” You tilted your head at him in confusion, “What do you mean?” He smiled softly at you, “We all care for you and Changmin is just speaking out of frustration. You know that he is never like this but either way just know, that we will support any decision you make.” You nodded, “I know what I’m gonna do.”

Epilogue: You so clearly remember hearing the wedding bells as the small children scream with joy and the clapping of everyone else at the ceremony made your heart swell with happiness. As well as vividly remembering when Hyunjae proposed to you with your mom’s ring, it was a very emotional time not knowing how his kids would feel but he said ‘they’ll love you, I’m sure.’ You knew you made the right decision, even though Hyunjae cheated and had kids with another woman we both knew she was far from the one. Minju was the one that played both Younghoon and Hyunjae at the same time. When she was getting arrested for multiple charges, she confessed that she purposely broke us up just to get me to hate him and get his money. The funny thing is, she was getting Younghoon to be her fucktoy while Hyunjae was her source of income. It all made sense, the note that you found back at the hospital was Younghoon explaining everything he knew. It said that Hyunjae still loved you and was unhappy in his relationship, Minju was playing them both but Hyunjae was so stubborn he couldn’t believe it and also that you deserved to be happy with who you choose to end up with. So even though you managed to choose Hyunjae over Younghoon he was equally as supportive as the rest of the boys saying that we belonged together. His kids were so happy to have me as their new mother, it made me so ecstatic that they were just as happy as Hyunjae to have me back, saying that Minju was just ‘plain evil’ which always made you laugh. You knew that everything fit in place now, after all these years. You were the missing puzzle piece.

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 2788

Warnings: Slow Start, Language.

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change

Sorry for leaving this so late everyone, Had a really busy day at work and passed out as soon as I got in, Woke up at 8 and I’ve been working on this chapter for ages so hopefully you all like it :) Enjoy Everyone!

(Also մոխրագույն օրխիդ means grey orchid in Armenian, according to google translate)

-Two days later

If someone told me that I’d end up in the middle of a gang war being held hostage with a colt M1911 held up against my head, I probably would have called them batshit crazy. Confused? Let me explain, two days ago the mole in the մոխրագույն օրխիդ reported that they were planning to infiltrate our territory and attack us at the base, the մոխրագույն օրխիդ have been rivals with us for years, almost for as long I’ve been alive.

The boss was really pissed, I mean I’ve seen mind mad but boy he was raging, knocking everything over hell he even shot one of our new recruits he was that pissed off! All members were forced into training, Damien brought in an ex Russian spy to teach us new moves, at the end of it my body was littered with bruises and cuts I could hardly see my skin colour it was that bad. Hell, some of the boys looked worse then me. We trained through the night, alternating between combat training and firearms, it was relentless… some of the guys passed out from exhaustion and when they came back ‘round boss put them straight back into training.

I’ll admit, there’s been some intense wars, but they didn’t even come close to this one, everyone was involved, even the bloody cleaners were trained and normally they just clean up the rooms after the guys are done with a prisoner! We had a plan to draw the մոխրագույն օրխիդ out, everyone was to go to the bank and make it look like a heist prep, while I set up shop in the dinner across the road. I was to make sure that none of the մոխրագույն օրխիդ got the jump on our guys and take out as many of em as I could, so there was no bloody pressure there, I’d be lying if I said I was anything but terrified.

It was around 5 AM when training stopped, all of us ordered to get cleaned up and report back to the base at 6:30, one by one we all left for our homes the pistol strapped to my thing reminding me of what was about to happen…

-Tiny Time Skip-

The hour and a half flew by, each member was sorted into a group and bundled off into a car, every group has a different route and arrival time. Of course, I was the only one who didn’t have that luxury, the boss said that it’d seem less suspicious if I took the bus there and arrived last, so there I was on the number 17 bus at 7 in the morning. The street past by me in a blur, kids were making their way to schools with the mothers in tow behind them, mean while I was making my way to a bloody gang war. Not much of a difference between the two is there? Lazily my eyes glanced over the street, bored outta my mind, the stop was still 10 minutes away and the pair behind me talking business weren’t really curing my boredom.

I swear down if I don’t get off this bus soon I’m gonna lose it! letting out a small sigh I turned and looked out the other window. Okay come on could this day get any bloody worse ?! just my luck both Steve and Bucky were on the street the bus stopped on both staring at me, they really need to stop doing that it’s starting to creep me the hell out. I felt my eyes widen before I ducked under the window, wanting nothing more than this blasted bus to hurry up and move, muffled voices started yelling my name from the other side of the window as the bus started to pull away from the stop. Slowly I started rising my head up and dared to look out the window, both the boys were chasing after the bus, Steve lagging behind as Bucky raced ahead, we shared one last look before the bus blended back into the traffic on main street.

That was way too bloody close for my liking, letting out a sigh of relief I cleared my head and concentrating on my up coming task, the next stop was the one I needed, and I still had 10 minutes before I needed to check in. It was a simple plan, I’d walk into the dinner and order a coffee and a sandwich, walk over to the booth closest to the window and signal my gang I was in position, monitor where the մոխրագույն օրխիդ came from and get the registration numbers of the cars they came out of.  Simple enough.

Noticing that the bus was nearing my stop, I readied my things and hit the button, mentally preparing myself for the next few hours.

Steve’s POV

Y/n was right in front of us, on that bus, it’d only been a couple of days, but she’s changed so much again. Her cuts had healed but her face, it was littered with fresh marks and bruises, the dark bags under her eyes stood out against her pale skin, she looked like a ghost.

What the hell happened to her? I was still from the shock, manging to break out of the haze when Buck started running after the bus, we chased it down the block for as long as we could but eventually we lost her…again. Slowly, I came to a stop next to him, his face impassive, but his eyes were filled with anger, worry and sadness, a look I knew all to well, “Did ya get the bus number?” he didn’t turn and look at me. He was still staring at where y/n disappeared, his head turned slightly at my question but other than that he kept his gaze ahead of him. “yeah, she’s on the 17, it stops just outside the bank on 4th street… did you see y/ns face Steve? She looked like death warmed up, what the hell is going on with her?” Bucky’s temper started to rise, I knew how he was feeling, the frustration of not being able to help someone who desperately needs it was slowly drivin’ me insane. “That’s somethin we’re gonna have to ask her when we find her, come on Buck lets go find our girl” clapping my hand on his shoulder, we started following the road down.

-20 Minutes later

A silence surrounded us as we walked, both of us thinkin’ about her, why won’t she let me help her? I know what it’s like to not have a family growin’ up, then Bucky came into my life and changed it all, he became my brother and I his. That’s all I wanna do for y/n, give her someone to rely on, someone to trust. Gun fire shattered my inner thoughts, people were running and screamin’ as they tried to get away, the crowd managed to knock both of us to the ground, Buck grabbed me by the collar and dragged me outta the way before I got crushed by all the people. “What the hell is goin’ on?! Steve, you okay?” I didn’t answer him, my eyes followed where the noise was comin’ from, Bucky right behind me, both of us peaking around the corner to see what was going on.

Two groups were firing shots at each other, one group was holed up in a dinner and the others were shooting from behind a couple of cars, a few of em were shooting from inside the bank. “Jesus Christ! We’re in the middle of a goddamn gang war Buck, we gotta find y/n and get the hell away from here!” for once in his life Bucky didn’t argue with me and started pulling us away from the scene. A sudden shout halted our movements, the firing stopped as the dinner door opened, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach from what I saw next, a man yelling in what I guessed to be Russian walked out the dinner, his gun pointed at the side of y/ns head. Blood was dripping from her nose as he dragged her across the middle of the road, the worse bit was that she didn’t look scared not one bit, instead she looked blank, there was no expression on her face and eyes were dead, the man holding her yelling was nonsense I chose to ignore, keeping my eyes trained on her.

“Steve please tell me that my eyes are tricking me and that isn’t y/n being held hostage by the dickhead with the gun” Bucky’s voice shaking, I didn’t know if it was from anger or fear, “We need to get her outta there Buck”.  Both our gazes were trained on the man holding y/n, our minds focused on a plan of getting her back to us.

Readers POV

I knew as soon as I entered the dinner somethin’ was off, the atmosphere didn’t feel right at all, choosing to ignore it and stick to the plan I got in position and signalled to the member sat on the bench outside the bank.  One by one, the gangs made their way inside the bank and I waited for the sign, 5 minutes later gun shots were fired from inside the bank as members of the մոխրագույն օրխիդ pulled in cars and opened fire on the guys. People in the dinner started screaming and running for the door, I played my part and hid under the table trying to look terrified, everything was going to plan then shit hit the fan, the guys left in the dinner with me pulled out guns and returned fire on the Црни лабуд.

This is not my F**king day at all! What the hell do I do now?! Shoot at these guys or plan hostage and gain the upper hand?!, the decision was taken outta my hands when one of the մոխրագույն օրխիդ thugs grabbed my upper arm and dragged me over to the back of the room. Guns were trained on all the everyone who were unfortunate enough to get trapped in the building, a young girl was hugging her mother for dear life as the war carried on, keeping my eyes focused on the guy closet to me I waited for an opportunity.

Okay, y/n this is without a doubt one of the stupidest things you are ever going to do, the thug watching us turned to answer another member when I struck, quickly leaping to my feet I grabbed him from behind and forced him to the floor. Clearly surprised the other guys faltered before retaliating, acting purely on adrenaline I pulled my handgun and started firing at them, managing to hit 3 of them, 2 in the arm one in the chest, before I dived underneath the counter. Bullets started flying past me as they fired through the counter attempting to hit me, acting on impulse I laid down, waiting for them to seize fire and check to see if I was alive, one guy peered over the side and tried to tell the other thugs I was still alive. My reaction was to grab is collar and slam his face into the counter the use him as a human shield, the members ended up unintentionally killing their own guy, clearly, I pissed them off for out-smarting them.

I managed to fire a few more shots before a sudden force hit my back, sending me to the floor with only my face to soften my fall, Son of a b*TCH THEY JUST BROKE MY GODDAMN NOSE! A hand grabbed my hair, pulling me to my feet. I came face to face with the ugliest motherf*cker I’d ever seen, Alexi Churnov leader of the մոխրագույն օրխիդ and the monster behind the rise of sexual assault cases in Brooklyn. “My, my what do we have here, it’s the renowned recruiter of the Црни лабуд. Boys, this is little y/n  y/l/n, she’s been a part of the Црни лабуд for quite some time now” His voice alone is vile enough to make a Nun swear, “Cut the crap Churnov I haven’t got all day ya know, places to be people to shoot and all that” okay maybe I need to learn when to keep my mouth closed.

The next thing I knew my head was forced backwards and a stinging pain erupted along the right side of my face, I turned my head forwards and what do you know, I was face to face with the devil himself. “Have some respect you insolent child! talk to me in that tone again and I won’t hesitate to kill you. Now down to business, tell me what the Црни лабуд are planning or one by one these people die.” Well, do I have permission to panic now?!, slowly Alexi came closer to my face, scowling as he waited for his answer, my response ? I spat blood in his face and laughed at his stupidity.

A sharp kicked halted my laughter as I was dragged to my feet, a now very pissed off Alexi was dragging me to the dinner entrance, the difference of the light left me temporarily blinded, “Црни лабуд! WE HAVE YOU’RE PRECIOUS LITTLE Y/N! COME OUT AND FACE US OR SHE DIES RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!”. Oh, you have got to be f**king with me. The Црни лабуд shared glances with one another, nobody knew what to do, hell even the boss looked conflicted and unsure with how to solve the situation.

You know how I said that attacking the մոխրագույն օրխիդ with a pistol and no back-up was the stupidest thing I’d ever done? Well this is even stupider. I quickly spun around and grabbed the arm holding the gun to my head and twisted it behind Alexi’s back, curse words flew out of his mouth as the gun fire returned. Shots passed by my head as I dived behind a car, in the distance police cars were closing in on the gangs, not that either side cared all were focused on taking out as many people as possible.

I was happy with staying here until the police got the situation under control, out the corner I noticed something odd, two very familiar faces were crouched down behind a wall, both boys were corned as gun fire rained on either side of them. WHAT THE HELL WERE THOSE IDIOTS DOING?!, my eyes were wide with panic as I watched thugs from մոխրագույն օրխիդ slowly edge closer to them, not thinking of the risks to me I dashed out from my cover and started running over to them. My heart started beating faster, one of Alexi’s men was pointing his gun at Bucky and Steve, Bucky stood slightly in front of Steve to try and protect him.

Using the last of my energy, I ploughed my entire body into the man, sending both of us toppling back over the wall. The impact stunned the both of us for a second, but the fist flying to my face soon knocked some sense into me, literally. What is it with these guys and punching me in the f**king face today? Quickly I rolled off him and sprung to my feet, barely managing to avoid his second attack. I used my size to my advantage, manoeuvring around the thug, punching and kicking wherever I could reach, at some point he landed a kick and sent me flying into the wall of the building behind me, my eyes followed his hands as he trained his gun on the boys again.

I acted on impulse, pushing me body forward and over the wall as he fired his gun, at first, I didn’t feel anything just a little pinch as I landed on the floor in front of Bucky and Steve, the sound of guns cocking behind me had me tense up and turn around, thankfully it was the police aiming at Alexi’s men. I let out a sigh of relief before turning to the boys, both were still on the floor with me, “Jesus Christ what the hell were you two thinking?! You could got shot! Or worse killed!” neither of them said anything, tears started falling down their checks as they looked at me.

“Y/n…Yyour bleeding” I felt my eyebrows scrunch up in confusion as I glanced down at my body, to my horror blood was soaking my shirt and then the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. Black spots filled my vision as I felt my body fall to the floor…the sound of my name being called from somewhere far away as darkness consumed my vision.

Very long Chapter to make up for the really late upload, feel free to leave some constructive criticism and as mentioned before all Imagines and Requests are open :) Thanks for Reading

Rose xx

[project-ohagi]

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader {Fantasy AU}

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Crimson.

A most enchanting crimson. That was the sight awaiting your rest-deprived eyes, as they dipped in and out of the mountain springs connecting the queendom of the faeries to this mortal coil. Had you happened upon a particularly beautiful fairy, or were you perhaps still dreaming? There were so many emotions swimming amid those starry pools...anger, mystification, irritation, suspicion, even a hint of nervosity. But only a hint. It was innocent, it was vulnerable, and it certainly didn't match what he chose to display. Actually, it reminded of the children who made merry in the castle's courtyard; the ones who weaved flowers into crowns and were excited for you to read to them tales of faraway lands, of dragons and masters, of mages and knights.

Well, if this man who knelt before you belonged to the plane of reality, and wasn't a tempting illusion...might you have been transported into one such tale? You reached out a hand, almost unwittingly, to ghost your fingers across his skin. It was pale and smooth. He made no effort to cease your actions, instead watching, as if an astral projection, as your fingers wandered the entirety of his face. His nose scrunched in mock disgust, lips silently begging to be claimed.

How could a seemingly small and fragile woman incite such a fierce reaction within him? He didn't understand, but he wanted to.

And then, a seraphic voice called, to snap him from a pleasant reverie. It took a few seconds to realise that you were its origin. "Um...my apologies - I must be disturbing you! B-But...may I ask...where exactly am I?"

"...My land." He grunted, after some careful consideration.

Was your ignorance genuine, or a mere deception? No-one arrived at Bakugou's territory without the intention to usurp him, or to slaughter him alongside the countless dragons who inhabited the land. But...would a frail-looking girl be selected for such a dangerous task? It was unlikely - though the possibility couldn't be discounted, for safety's sake.

"Your land? Are you perhaps the king here? Ah, what should I call 'here'? And, please pardon the intrusion! I-I'm not certain myself how I wound up on the forest floor. Not - not in foreign land, at least. I remember talking to the elves...oh, my goodness! I must have succumbed to sleep. How foolish of me! Father always warned against sleeping in the forest! Oh...what if there is a changeling replacing me right now, in the castle? What am I to do?"

"Quit mumbling. It's annoying." Those four words immediately flustered you, but he continued. "...You don't know how you got here? And...what's that about a castle? You royalty or something?"

With a quick gesture of affirmation, you replied, "My father is King (K/n)...not an awfully nice man, but saying anything more could be considered treason. Rest assured, he is not above executing one of his own."

Bakugou's expression soured. "That's fucked up."

Yours erupted in shock and awe. "T-That word...you use it? Is it not too vulgar?"

"Hah? Do I look like a gentleman, to you? Sorry Princess, but I curse as and when I like." He puffed out his chest, secretly hoping that you might compliment his muscles.

"'Princess'?" You gazed forlornly at the dress you wore. "This is your land. I'm no princess here."

You didn't wish to offend this man, especially not when the spears and swords you anticipated weren't being pointed at your throat. Bakugou's tongue was sharp, his responses crude and unrefined. Despite this...there was a warm aura emanating from him. And, from the way he started patrolling the length of the cave (as you soon recognised it), he was focused, protective. Even as the idle conversation whiled away the hours, even though he never really abandoned your side (whether this was due to doubt or care, you remained oblivious), he made a point of checking and re-checking, for any anomaly. When the western wind targeted you quite harshly, Bakugou forfeited his fur-lined cape. He draped it over you, grumbling all the while.

Though, your keen eyes caught the faintest of shivers, and before he could protest, you wrapped the cape around your bodies, snuggling into him. Bakugou's heart fluttered. His mind was failing to comprehend this new feeling, this sense of...home, and the sudden need, no - urge to provide and cherish. The small breaths against his chest, the hair tickling his skin...

Bakugou had little experience with human women. Until your arrival, the dragons were his only companions. Well, maybe the merchants (Ashido and Kaminari) could be classified as such? Definitely not that wannabe-knight, Deku, nor the fully-fledged knight, Iida, nor the Mage, Uraraka...

What if you were special? His pair - his mate? During your slumber, in the absence of any words, any reason for being here...he guessed either a fairy, a witch or a succubus, for your breed. But faeries were blessed with wings, and witches never ventured without their brooms. As for a succubus...you seemed too easily-flustered. The disbelief still permeated his mind. You, a creature of such ethereal beauty, were human? Like him? It was a simple mistake, to imagine you as something greater. His fixation had been instant. He knew what he wanted. Whether it would prove to be love, or some other, unfamiliar emotion...well, he wasn't renowned for patience, but...this was surely something to cultivate, something that required natural growth and progression.

Hopefully, your departure wouldn't be swift. Hopefully it would be messy, complicated, and eventually you would realise your true home: right here, by Bakugou's side. Together, you would spin a tale of love and devotion for the ages. Hopefully. If you didn't choose to leave.

If you left, if this feeling faded...what dreadful emptiness might consume him? He wondered about your interests, relatives (were you betrothed?), friends, future plans...he needed to sync your dreams and passions. You were perfect for him, so he needed to be perfect for you! This was his final, grumpy thought, before sleep lured him closer, closer, closer...

The morning brought forth a barrage of questions and quandaries, like: where the fuck were you? And: when had you abdicated his side? "Shit! Fuck! Shit! DEKUUU!"

"Hm?" Hearing the commotion, you poked your head around the corner.

"Who is 'Deku'?"

"Tch. Nobody. Where were you? When did you leave? Why didn't you wake me? You could've been hurt!" He scolded, loathing the slight wince caused by his raised voice. "...Sorry. I was just...urgh, nevermind!...Did you cut your dress?"

Sure enough, the distasteful garment (distasteful only because he wished to rip it off your body), once trailing on the ground, now settled just above your knees. "Yes! I would rather something shorter, anyway. Um...did I...does it not look..."

"It's better. If it's long, you'll just trip over stuff..." There lay a subtle blush upon his cheeks.

It went unnoticed. "Oh, thank you! I was hoping for practical and cute! And, um...I shouldn't intrude on you for too long, but perhaps I can be useful? I can cook...although that is probably all I can do."

"'Cause you'll wanna go home soon, I guess."

You laughed the most glorious melody. "That place is not my home."

Bakugou couldn't allow the silence to fester, lest this golden opportunity be wasted. "I can find work for ya. The dragons always need feeding...I can cook and clean, so don't fuss over that."

"B-But...I should repay you somehow!" Your whining flipped a switch in his heart.

I can think of a million reparations, but I can't say a single one of them...God, was I always this useless?

He groaned. "Like I said, I'll find something. You just...stay here for now. I'll go and catch breakfast, since I couldn't do that last night."

"I'm so sorry!"

While you wallowed in undeserved shame and guilt, Bakugou rejoiced at the memory of your conversation - all the monologuing, that transitioned into stumbles and stutters when you spoke for an extended time...the housewife air surrounding you (definitely a product of Bakugou's delusion), the way you smiled and laughed...It was ecstasy, Heaven, warmth! It was everything, and so, so much more! It was pure...

He started collecting little trinkets alongside the food - things he thought you might appreciate. Gifts, if you will. He imagined you smiling brighter, wider than before. He imagined receiving a kiss, whether a shy peck or a fiery lip-lock. He imagined decorating your neck with a dragon's teeth necklace, and showing off your bond to the world. If you would...accept him, accept everything about him, then...bliss would rain upon his heart forevermore.

She'll be my mate. She has to be! I won't let her be with anyone else...! I'll lay my claim soon enough, just you wait!

[Word Count: 1452]

[thewalkingfanfictions]

I’m Not Gay -- Sam Winchester x Male!reader

I'm Not Gay — Sam Winchester x male!hunter!reader

Part One / Part Two

Description: Forced out of his motel room by his sister when she and a stranger burst through the door playing tongue wars, (Name) decides to go for walk, where he runs into Sam, tall, handsome, smart, and no, (Name) definitely doesn’t like guys, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Warning: Some internalized homophobia, references to sex, and some cussing. Supernatural-themed gore and violence (they fight vampires)

Genre: Fluff, I guess? A bit of angst in there somewhere probably, too, since I have no self control.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Male!Reader

A/N: I have no idea what the fuck this is. This is such a crack fic. Reader has a sister named Lidia, for reasons that I do not know.

Words without A/N: 2483

Masterlist

<———————>

"You sure you don't wanna come with, (name)?"

"No, Lidia, I'm just gonna stay here and research. 'Sides, socializing is for psychopaths."

Lidia (Last name); ninety-three pounds of redheaded sarcasm, anger issues, and badassery. Also my sister, senior to me by four years ("and three months, (name)!") Also, also, a total extrovert with a thing for trying to force her introverted little brother to socialize. Disgusting.

"C'mon, (nickname), you need to get laid! I could totally find you a pretty, butch boy and—"

"Lidia, for the last time, I'm not gay!"

For the last several years, my darling, amazing, delightful (taste the sarcasm?) big sis has been living under the (totally unfounded) belief that I am a homosexual. I don't know where she seems to have gotten that notion, as I am not. (Summer camp doesn't count, dammit!)

"Mhm, keep tellin' yourself that, lil' bro. But, fine, if you won't come with me–" she dramatically picked herself up from the seat where she'd been fancying up her makeup–"I guess I'll just have to go without you. How terrible, little old me, scared and alone, walking down the road after dark without someone to protect me," she pouted.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny. We both know you could kick anyone who tried to bother you's ass without even looking."

Giggling, she picked up her bag (and a few blades) and turned towards the door. Looking back at me one more time, she gave me a middle-fingered salute before about-facing and heading through to the outside.

"See ya later, loser," she called back before the door closed all the way.

Even though she was already gone, I still mumbled a quiet "punk" under my breath after her, before setting off to start my research.

————

Three hours, several coffee refills, a few dead ends, and one (minor) mental break down later, I was really no closer to finding the thing we were hunting, and there was a crash outside the hotel door.

Lidia had been out for a while, there was a chance it was just her returning from whatever bar she had gone to, shit faced and unable to walk correctly, therefore knocking something into the door or the like, or, my least favorite option, it was something supernatural or other here to kill me.

Moving to grab a gun, I silently stalk towards the window beside the door. There's a few more dull thuds on the door, and some odd, wounded-animal type noise comes through the wood. Cautiously, I move the curtain a few centimeters, just enough to peer through without being spotted.

There, pushed up against the door, is my sister, some idiot attached to her at the lips, with hands going places I'd rather not think about when it comes to my sibling.

Grimacing, I turn around, shove my gun into the waistline of my jeans, and move to quickly grab my laptop and a few books. Maybe if I hurry I can get out of here before they actually start fucking, this time.

Hurrying towards it, the door suddenly opens, and in spills a very shirtless (and totally not attractive, what?) man, and my sister, who was now working on pulling her bra off. They shuffle towards one of the beds, and somewhere in the back if my head I register that its my bed that they're going towards as I awkwardly move around them, trying not to alert them of my presence. I didn't wanna deal with that conversation again.

Finally getting all the way to the door, I carefully pulled it open as not to bother the two, and backed out of the doorway. Glancing up, I got a full view of Lidia's tit before I managed to actually get out of the door.

I quietly closed the door, making sure that the click of the hinges was quiet enough that it wouldn't disturb the couple inside.

Pausing for a second, I couldn't help the dramatic shiver that rattled my body.

"That is-- that is far more of her than I ever needed to see," I winced.

Turning to go find a place to settle down while my sister and the stranger... did their thing, I came face-to-face with a brick wall. Well, more face-to-chest, actually, and brick wall wasn't quite right, I guess. He was closer to a tank. Even at the few paces away from me that he stood, he still seemed incredibly tall. Long-ish brown hair curled around his ears, and his face was undoubtedly attractive. A small smile (that I definitely did not find adorable, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm totally, definitely, one hundred percent straight) tugged at full lips and his eyes stared down at me questioningly. I could feel an ugly blush climbing up my neck.

"Uh– heh, uhm, my, my– uh my–" my awkward stuttering was cut off when the man huffed a small laugh, and spoke.

"You must be the brother."

...

"Heh?" His smile only broadened at my perplexed stare and he took a few steps closer to me. I couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated by the guy's humongous stature, though his face seemed innocent and kind enough. Still, in my line of work, you can never be too careful. I instinctively felt my hand reach for the gun still hidden in my waistband.

"In, uh, in there," he pointed lightly at the door I'd just come out of, "my brother, he's the one with your sister. She was talking about a brother at her motel, I, uh, I guess that'd be you," he finished off, trailing out slightly as he realized he had nothing more to say. It was his turn to blush.

I let myself relax slightly, I didn't think he was so much of a threat anymore.

Smiling slightly, I couldn't not let my eyes glance over him.

Uh, in as purely heterosexual way, obviously.

His shoulders were stupidly broad, and under his denim coat I was sure there had to lay muscle. Before, when I said he was tall, I don't think you really got the full picture. The awning thing that came off the front of the hotel to protect anyone on the sidewalk was probably your standard seven foot high roof; this guys head was only a few inches under it. He was huge. His face was young, but had a whisper behind it that said that he'd seen some things someone his age generally didn't. The dimples on either side of that blindingly bright smile made him just so much more attractive, and I couldn't not find him cute. (Once again, in a totally hetero way, I'm really, definitely, completely Not Gay.)

Figuring that I couldn't stand there and gawk any longer without coming off as creepy, I finally spoke up.

"Uh, yeah, Lidia. And your brother. That was–" I shuddered slightly, "–that was a sight I never needed to see."

He chuckled slightly and took a few steps closer to me. I was still a bit wary, but I let him come closer without pulling a gun on him, anyway.

"Yeah, no, it's not pleasant. He's done the same thing to me before."

I blanched up at him (damn, he really is tall) and thought to the scene that was unraveling right inside the door. Didn't he say he was his brother? I mean, to each your own, but damn—

"No! No, not—" he cut off my train of thought, growing redder by the second. He took a few more steps forward until he was right in front of me, holding his hands up in surrender. "I mean— I meant barging into the room with a partner while I was still there like that, not-not that he's—not that he's done, done that—" I cut him off, wanting to end the poor babbling disasters misery.

Cracking a smile, I laugh gently at him and reach out to touch his arm and make him pause.

"Oh-oh, its okay, calm down man, I getcha, I getch—"

MOAN

My sisters pleasured voice cut me off and made me freeze up, my face burning red.

"Nope, nope, nopety nope nope nope, can we please go anywhere else and continue this conversation? Literally anywhere, oh my fuck, oh my—" I started walking before he could say anything, not wanting to have to suffer through another sound like that.

He chuckled again as I passed him and quickly caught up to me, reaching out to gently grab my arm before I got to far.

"My, uh– we could hang out in my room for a while. 'Till they're, ya know, done," he grimaced and nodded his head towards the room to the direct right of ours. He hadn't seemed dangerous so far, so I mean, why not?

I nodded hesitantly and let the man lead me into the room, noting the fact that his hand didn't leave my arm until the very last second.

He let me in first and closed the door softly behind us. I have never been so thankful that these walls were thicker than any other motel's walls in existence. If I focused hard enough, I could almost imagine that the faint moaning was just sound coming from the little box TV.

The room was set up pretty much the same as ours. The same, mildewy wallpaper, two twin sized mattresses on either side of the room with the same pale comforter tucked around a paper pillow. A few littler things did stick out to me, though. The pre packed buggout bags sitting right at the end of both beds, the laptop that sat on the bedside table with a bunch of papers laying haphazardly around it, a half-drank coffee cup sitting beside it. The scene seemed oddly familiar.

"My, uh," the man's voice cut off my searching eyes, "my name's Sam, by the way. I don't think I said that before." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and I definitely didn't find it cute. At all. Nope.

Sam. It fit him. I like it.

Smiling up at him, (and totally not noticing how his frame would almost take up the entire door frame that he stood beside) I opened my mouth to respond, only to be cut off again by a crash from the room next door and an even louder moan. I grimaced, the awkwardly smiled up at him once again.

"I'm (name), it's, uh, it's nice to meet ya?" How do people socialize again?

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you, too." Well that's reassuring, at least he seems just about as nervous as I am.

He stepped forward a bit and awkwardly held his hand out to me, which I accepted with a small, close-lipped smile. The moment our skin made contact, I genuinely didn't want to let go. The warmth of his overly-large hand was intoxicating, and his touch made me oddly giddy.

Looking up into his eyes, I found, was a total mistake. A stunning mixture of smokey hazel and green, small flecks of honey dotted his iris'. His eyes seemed so deep. Seemed so much older than they really were, once again, like he'd seen far more in his life than an average man his age could ever claim. Not to be dramatic or anything, but he was absolutely captivating.

I don't really know how long we sat there and stared at each other, but by the time I finally realized how weird it probably was, and forced myself to look away, I was starting to feel a bit light headed. Let's blame that on lack of sleep and an excess of coffee, and not on whatever was causing my stomach to flutter so dangerously as it was.

"Heh," I looked down towards our feet, my face flushing dramatically. I'm sure by now I'm about as red as a baboons ass, and only flushing redder as I realized that he was still holding my hand.

"Uh-uhm, so, uh, Sam--" I stuttered pathetically, focussing on the hand that still held mine until he awkwardly let go. "--what, uh, what do you do for a living?"

And so the night kicked off just like that. Soon enough, we were both sat cross legged on the bed, sharing stories (all the ones that I could think of that didn't involve murder or monsters) and trading memories. I learned that he had planned to be a lawyer, and was almost done with his course when some unmentioned family drama popped up, and he had to take a sudden leave. I found out that he traveled for work with his brother (a sentence that seemed suspiciously familiar) and that he loved to read. He told me how his girlfriend had died in some terrible house fire only a few months before (my heart definitely didn't freeze up at the fact that he had a girlfriend, shut up) and that he still had nightmares about her. We talked for hours, and, unlike with most people, I never once got bored of it.

I really don't know how long we sat there and chatted, but, by the time the doorframe to the room was vomiting up a sweaty and slightly-drunk older brother, my eyes had started to sag with exhaustion.

"Wa-Sam-Who's this?" Dean (Sam had spoken of him frequently over the evening) slurred slightly, gazing at me with an almost accusatory look. Before I had the chance to respond, Sam was already up and talking, standing between us almost protectively.

"(Name). He's, uh, he's the little brother of the girl you...were with, tonight." He seemed uncertain at exactly what he was saying, but he got the point across.

Being as he was still standing guard in front of me like he was (why on earth was he doing that?), Dean had to lean around him to look at me, which made Sam fidget nervously, for some reason.

"Dean--"

"(Name), you should probably be headed back, it's getting kinda late and I'm sure your sisters wondering where you're at," Dean cut his brother off, leaning further around Sam to look at me. Not gonna lie, he kinda scared me. Standing, I moved to grab the things I'd escaped the room with earlier, and headed for the door, turning back to beckon Sam a good night, I caught sight of them staring at eachother like they were having a silent argument, and just darted out the door, instead of saying anything. Maybe we'd meet again one day.

The air was cold, and it had gotten very dark in the time that I was hidden away in the room with Sam. I walked briskly back to my own room, opened the door with my key, and hesitantly poked my head in, not wanting to wake my sister if she'd fallen asleep.

"So there  you are, (nickname), out getting some dick, were you?"

Ugh.

[sortasirius]

“The Trap” and The Confession

Coming to you live from my coffin this evening: this episode ripped me apart in about ten thousand ways and I am grateful for it.

Oh boi oh boi is this L O N G.

Tbh, I’m going to gloss over a lot of the Chuck/Sam/Eileen stuff, let’s get to what we’re all here for: what in the FUCK that Destiel content was.

So, we all spec’ed a lot about the return of Purgatory, I specifically talked about what Purgatory meant for Dean and Cas’ relationship in season 8, and man oh man, Bobo Berens didn’t disappoint.

Let’s kick it off with, once they get inside Purgatory, Dean literally immediately wants to split up, and ngl, I kinda groaned internally, thinking that’s how we get the prayer or whatever, but my mans Cas is having NONE of it.

“Yeah we’ll also improve our odds of getting lost or killed.  Come on.”

And Dean???  Doesn’t even argue??  He’s just like ur right let’s go.  Ok king.

And when they catch that Leviathan, and the way Dean looks at Cas when Cas like force throws him into a tree.....like go adjust ur pants dude lmao.

I just felt, up until that scene, that Dean was teetering on the edge of saying something to Cas, like Cas is clearly still kinda mad and doesn’t want to talk but Dean does, he keeps looking at him and making little jokes and stuff...an idiot in love.

Also hey guys I will not, under any circumstances, accept that my man Benny is dead ok thanks for allowing me this sidenote.

“I know you’re sorry, Cas.  About Bel, about mom-”

“I was talking about Jack.  I already apologized to you, you just refuse to hear it.”

Woof.

“Sorry I brought it up. Maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us-”

“You didn’t give me a choice.  You couldn’t forgive me, and you couldn’t move on. You were too angry.  I left, but you didn’t stop me.”

At this point I believe that my jaw had literally hit the floor.  Because, I want y’all to think, NAME ME a similar scene, post a breakup like Dean and Cas had, that isn’t romantic?  Yeah, I couldn’t think of one either.

So Dean really tried it, huh?  Tried to make Cas’ leaving about Cas and not what Dean did?  Which we’ve seen so many times from him, but finally Cas is pushing back and refusing to accept that, refusing to rollover and just let Dean win the argument, he makes Dean think, makes him think about his anger, why he pushed Cas away.........can we give Berens the Nobel Peace Prize pls?

I do wanna say that Berens and Singer did a masterful job heightening the tension between scenes. Like the bleak future scenes that Sam was watching vs. Purgatory.  A really well done episode all around.

Cas gets taken by the Leviathan, trapped in an angel trap, Dean gets knocked out, and when he comes to he’s alone, the area and the shot almost a direct comparison of the first shot on season 4, when Cas pulled Dean out of hell.

And then there we were, my heart was literally racing, I had to stand up and get as close to my TV as I possibly could, but man, even though they warned us about the confession, good GOD.

Dean’s desperate, he’s breathing too hard, looking everywhere for Cas, screaming his name, and then he just collapses, he just breaks in half:

“Cas?  Cas I hope you can hear me.  That wherever you are, it’s not too late.  I shoulda stopped you.  You’re my best friend, but I just let you go, cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong.  I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know that- I know that it’s always been there, and when things go bad, it comes out.  And I, I can’t stop it.  No matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it.  And I, I forgive you, of course I forgive you.  I’m sorry it took me so long- I’m sorry it took me til now to say it.  Cas, I’m so sorry.  Man, I hope you can hear me.  I hope you can hear me.  Okay.”

So uh.  Yeah.

Listen, I know I’m not the only one that thought this, but damn, damn if that wasn’t the most double sided speech ever.  Sure, it’s an apology, he’s sorry that he pushed Cas away, but....what else?

We talk to much about how Dean projects this macho, masculine persona, when we all know he’s a big nerd who loves comic books, bad scary movies, cucumber water, and Taylor Swift.  He isn’t, he’s never been the macho man he so desperately wanted to be, and to me, that prayer wasn’t only an apology for pushing Cas away, it was an apology for not being able to see, until now, what was right in front of his eyes.  That he loses it every time Cas is gone, that he was willing to spend a year in Purgatory looking for Cas the first time, that he would do anything, cross any line, go down any road, for Cas. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long-”

He cuts himself off there, but the unsaid words hang in the air “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how I feel about you.”

This scene is just so fucking painful, Dean never cries like this, he never loses it like this, but this confession, this declaration to Cas, it drags all of these pent up emotions, all that shit that he feels for Cas that he has tried, for literal years, to tamp down, comes out all at once.

I’ve said for a long time that Dean gets angry and takes things out on Cas because he’s angry about how he feels about Cas, and pushing Cas away is easier than accepting just how deep his feels run for Cas, but he told Sam that he felt “pure” in Purgatory once, and I feel like he almost just....couldn’t lie, if that makes sense.

And, just like every other time in Purgatory, Cas doesn’t show up, and Dean pulls himself together and does what he’s always done in Purgatory: he keeps looking for the angel.

When they find each other, sweet baby Cas curled up by a tree.  That hug, the way that Dean grips Cas like he’s clinging to a liferaft.  Lay me to rest.

“Okay Cas, I need to say something.”

“You don’t have to say it.  I heard your prayer.”

This snippet is so little and awkward and they’re looking at each other like people look at their crushes and I’m just really really really soft okay?

And then, for our grand finale, the Sam/Eileen scene:

“You should stay.”

“I wish I could.  After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

(Insert the sweetest goddamn Saileen kiss in the world)

“I know that was real.”

So........lets compare to 15x02:

“I’ll tel you what we do know: nothing about our lives is real.  Everything that we’ve lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck.  So, maybe you can stick your heard back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice.  I can’t.”

“Dean.  You asked what about all of this is real.  We are.”

Yo.  Are these writers serious?  An absolutely direct damn parallel between Cas/Dean and Eileen/Sam and Sam and Eileen KISS?  Ok guys, I’ll see myself out.

Bobo Berens has been one of my favorite writers for a long time.  He knows how to make an episode flow, make it gutwrenching, funny, scary, romantic, all at the same time.

I answered an ask right after 15x02, when someone asked my why I didn’t want Buckner/Leming to get credit for canon DeanCas, and I stand by what I said: Bobo has always been one of the writers that understand them the best.  He gets what they are: best friends that turned into something more, something so much more that Dean, in my opinion, doesn’t even have to say it out loud for it to be as incredibly obvious as it was.  Berens is one of the people that deserves the credit for where Dean and Cas are today, that we even have to argue about what makes canon canon. 

I spend so much time with this show, with these characters, that sometimes I feel like I need to take a step back and just fucking appreciate that this scene, this incredibly beautiful episode would never, in a million years, have happened without this showrunning team.  Andrew Dabb and Bobo Berens are creating this literally masterful final season.  I mean what I say when I say that each episode is better than the last, because they ARE, and Dean and Cas are right there, at the forefront, every time.

Dean Winchester’s growth into who he is is, in my opinion, one of the greatest character arcs in TV.  He is NOT who he was in season 1, in season 4, in season 10.  He’s grown so much, he’s so much more willing to be himself, to love what he loves openly, and that scene, that heartbroken, tearful confession where ten words said a thousand is even more than I could have ever asked for.

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Stuck in reverse - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here. 

Okay, let’s talk about it! 

Sam Smith – Fix you

I remember crying to the original song (by Coldplay) back in 2005. Whoo boy, lots of teenage feelings!

I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith’s music, but one day I was just driving home from work and this song began playing on the radio and by the end of it I could barely see the road.

// When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? //

That one line – stuck in reverse – felt just so perfect for a story set in the universe where people invert themselves back and forth.

It became one of the three main songs that inspired me to write the whole damn thing, and also the only title in the story that is not a title of a song as well.

Chapter 1: Ben Platt – Ease my mind 

This is one of the songs I have on my daily playlist, I just love it, and the lyrics are so fitting:

//Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest There are thoughts that I can’t put to rest There’s a worry that I can’t place

Most nights, I am restless and quiet won’t come So I lay there and wait for the sun There’s a trouble that won’t show its face

You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice//

We learn more about the nightmares in the next chapters, but it all starts here. That melancholic vibe stuck with me for the rest of the story I guess.

Bonus song: Lewis Capaldi - Before you go

The combat scene in one song, or at least what I imagined was going through Reader’s mind at that point.

//I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace ‘Cause now that they’re gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal but this won’t//

Have you ever felt that way? Trying to hide your broken heart under anger? I don’t know, it just resonated deeply.

The second part of the song kinda seeped into the next chapter:

//Was there something I could’ve said To make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather

//Would we be better off by now If I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we’ll never know//

Chapter 2: Kaleo - I can’t go on without you

Another song from my daily playlists (side note – I saw Kaleo once live on a music festival and they were mind-blowing, you should really check out more of their work).

It worked with the story because of its desperate and painful mood.

Bonus: Calum Scott - Dancing on my own

Holy shit, I FELT this one. (Been there, done that). Of course I had to write it into Reader’s past. Actually, I wrote it first and then found the song, but it doesn’t matter, that’s the flashback scene right here:

//Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? And there’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around And yeah, I know it’s stupid But I just gotta see it for myself I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? And I’m giving it my all //

Chapter 3: Billie Eilish – Bad guy

No feels, pure bop. This song is so BADASS, I really needed to get that vibe into the undercover mission, I didn’t want Reader to be an emotional mess and nothing else, you know?

Bonus: Tones and I – Dance Monkey

I shit you not, I’ve had that one on repeat for the dance scene. There is something incredibly seductive in that beat, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Bonus: Kings of Leon – Closer

It just makes my heart clench and leaves me breathless.

Chapter 4: Ben Platt – Bad habit

Ah, that was the moment when I cursed at myself for using Ease my mind for chapter 1, but we already talked about it.

Even though this song is very emotional, it’s not that heartbreaking, you can hear a faint smile here and there and it just makes my heart sing.

And oh my god, those lyrics:

//You always said that I’d come back to you again ‘Cause everybody needs a friend, it’s true Someone to quiet the voices in my head Make ‘em sing to me instead, it’s you Hate to say that I love you Hate to say that I need you Hate to say that I want you But I do Bad habit, I know But I’m needin’ you right now Can you help me out? Can I lean on you? Been one of those days Sun don’t wanna come out Can you help me out? Can I lean on you?//

They just work with that plot, you know?

Bonus: Dodie – Sick of losing soulmates

Another song that just resonates with the story.

//What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be If you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark A dumb screenshot of youth Watch how a cold broken teen Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof

What the hell would I be, without you (what the hell would I be) Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

'Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me So how do we win?//

Chapter 5: Adele – Someone like you

The whole damn sunset scene + this song on repeat = feels

The pain in her voice? God, it just reduces me to a puddle of tears.

Reader could just sing it at some point to Neil almost word for word.

Bonus: Passenger – Let her go

Okay, the case of that one is quite funny, because I kinda needed to figure out how to get from point A to point B of the chapter, and I was browsing Spotify looking for „campfire songs” or something like that. Of course I’ve heard this one before, but I’ve never actually focused on the lyrics.

And oh boy, suddenly it all became clear.

Headcanon time – in my head, Wheeler and Neil are close friends, she treats him a bit like a younger brother, I just can imagine they know each other very well at that point. Of course she knows hows about his past. Of course she heard about Reader. And she thinks they are both silly babies and they should just kiss, right? That’s why she chooses that song.

Those lyrics – they fit Neil’s backstory so damn well.

//Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go//

And he was stupid enough to let her go. Because his timing was off.

Those lyrics are also perfect to make Reader think about his ex-girlfriend, because of course that is what you’re gonna it’s all about.

Bonus: Del Amitri – Tell her this

Ahh, there it is – the second out of three main songs for Stuck in Reverse.

I remember the moment I found out that Rob Pattinson sings and writes music, then I listened to some of the songs and my heart went whoooosh. So I just had to make Neil play a guitar, I just needed to find out what song would be The One.

Do you remember that flashback about them both watching a tv show on his couch? Here, you’re welcome. 

I recently started rewatching Scrubs and when I got to that episode – ding, ding, ding!

This is the ultimate “hey, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m an idiot and I love you.”

Chapter 6: Imagine Dragons – Next to me

I adore that song. It warms my heart. I think it fits Neil and Reader’s relationship.

And I needed all the fluffy feelings to switch the tone of the story to something lighter.

Bonus: Michelle Branch – Everywhere

This one is a silly bop, and it always puts me in a good mood. A nice song to listen to when you are happy, in love, and you are making breakfast.

Bonus: Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of me

This one (same as the one before) came to me from Zach Braff’s workout playlist, haha. I mean I almost forgot about it, but it makes me smile every time I hear it, and the lyrics work nicely:

//On a Monday I am waiting Tuesday I am fading And By Wednesday I can’t sleep Then the phone rings I hear you And the darkness is a clear view Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts

It seems like I can finally Rest my head on something real I like the way that feels It’s as if you know me better Than I ever knew myself I love how you can tell All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me//

Bonus: Kaleo – I want more

Is there such a thing as a warm melancholy? Because that is a vibe I get from that song.

//Turn back, leave all you had Forgive, I’ll forget 'Cause what we need is what we once had Time won’t stand still Just say you will 'Cause I need you there and now

If you leap, I’ll come falling too Running deep 'til that rivers through I don’t mind what you have to do 'Cause I won’t think less, less of you

Yes, I want more, more Looking for more I want more, more 'Cause I want more

Old grounds Feels like the weight has been lifted away So don’t you leave me there wanting more//

Chapter 7: Ben Platt – In case you don’t live forever

I mean it’s not my fault that Ben’s songs make me FEEL things, damn it.

The whole damn song = utter heartbreak when you think about Neil coming back to Reader before he goes back to Stalsk-12 to open that damn lock.

//I, I’ve carried this song in my mind Listen, it’s echoing in me But I haven’t helped you to hear it We, we’ve only got so much time I’m pretty sure it would kill me If you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you

I’ve waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me

In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth I’m everything that I am because of you//

Bonus: Charlene Soraia – Wherever you will go

Why am I doing this to you? Because we all like pain.

This one is for the scene on the deck:

//So lately, been wondering Who will be there to take my place When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would I’ll go wherever you will go Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out A way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you//

Bonus: Rhys Lewis – No right to love you

No light, only pain and suffering.

//'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn’t wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do//

Bonus: Knox Brown x Gallant – Reignite

This song is just so incredible, it makes my palms sweat and my mind going places. Yep, it was on repeat.

Oh you know which scene this one is for.

Bonus: Freya Ridings – Lost without you

The last dialogue. On repeat. Because this song breaks my heart and leaves me a sobbing mess.

//Strangers rushin’ past Just tryna get home But you were the only Safehaven that I’ve known Hits me at full speed Feel like I can’t breathe And nobody knows This pain inside me My world is crumbling I should never Let you go I think I’m lost without you//

(OI, SPOILERS) 

Chapter 8: Florence + The Machine – Never let me go

I have only one thing to say:

Fuck you, Nolan.

Third out of three.

//And it’s over and I’m going under

But I’m not giving up I’m just giving in

Oh, slipping underneath So cold and so sweet

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all And the questions I have for a sinner released In the arms of the ocean deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go Never let me go, never let me go)//

Bonus: Sasha Sloan - Dancing with your ghost

Suffer with me.

//Yelling at the sky Screaming at the world Baby, why’d you go away? I’m still your girl Holding on too tight Head up in the clouds Heaven only knows Where you are now

How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

I stay up all night Tell myself I’m alright Baby, you’re just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I’m dancing with your ghost Every night I’m dancing with your ghost//

[bertinellisbow]

Protection [Part One]

[Roman Sionis x F!Reader x Victor Zsasz]

Description: Reader’s family is slaughtered, leaving her willing to do anything for protection from Gotham’s worst. Even if that mean being protected by Gotham’s worst.

Word Count: 4,061 words of pure filth.

Warnings: NSFW! 18+, DUBCON!, Fingering, virginity, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), Roman being... worryingly nice. Porn without much plot.

A/N: Just watched BOP and Roman and Victor are my loves... Part one is more Roman x Reader, and part two will be more of both. Thanks for reading! This is my first time writing for these two, please go easy on me. As always, let me know if anything else needs tagged!

Desperation had taken over, you were wlling to do anything for protection at this point. You stood in front of Roman, shaking, tears brimming your eyes. He sat in front of you with Victor at his left side and Dinah at his right. Victor had been eyeing you up the whole time and Dinah kept giving you this sympathetic look, worry written all over her. She knew something you didn’t.

“You’re willing to do anything?”

“Anything, Mr. Sionis.”

Dinah flinched at that.

“Little bird,” Roman looked to Dinah, pausing for a moment.

Your eyes left Roman and you looked towards Victor, who was sizing you up. His eyes burned your skin. He was ready to pounce, you weren’t sure he wanted to kill you or fuck you. You almost hoped it was the former. Later, you would have wished it was the former.

“Please give us some time to think about this,” Roman shooed Dinah away, “Victor and I have some talking to do.”

Dinah nodded, not saying a word, her eyes never leaving you. Dinah slowly walked by you and mouthed ‘I’m so sorry’. Your stomach turned. The weight of everything was hitting, and your thoughts were running rampant.

You had just lost your family and everything was turning to shit. You stood in front of Gotham’s newest Godfather, offering yourself, like a lamb to slaughter. But you knew he could protect you. Protect you from every horrible villain coming after you.

“So,” Roman laced his finger together, “You didn’t inherit your family’s abilities.”

You shook your head, your heart into your throat. You thought about lying, but you knew Roman would want to see your abilities.

“Well, you really of no real use to me...”

Panic set in. You were scrambling for words, “Please, Mr.Sionis, I can’t- I’ll do absolutely anything for your protection.”

Victor shifted, his eyes never leaving you as Roman turned his head to him. He was really looking like he wanted to use that knife on you.

“Okay... I have a proposition. If you’re up for it, of course. If not, well, Victor will be taking care of you.”

You shut your eyes tightly, tears slowly falling down your face.

“It’s something simple, really.” Roman smirked, “All you need to do is fuck us.”

Victor clenched the knife in his hand and his eyes widened. His lips curled into a gruesome smile as he waited for your answer.

“Mr. Sionis-”

“You did say ‘anything’ dear...” Roman leaned over, his elbows resting on his thighs.

“I did, and I meant it, but... Both of you? I mean, you really don’t look like the sharing type...”

“I’m a man full of surprises, now, would you like Victor or me to do the honors of being first?”

You couldn’t answer, there was a lump in your throat. You had almost expected Roman to want to fuck you, but both of them? Your mind hadn’t touched that thought. You shook your head, not knowing how to answer.

“Fine, I’ll pick. Victor, fuck her brains out. I’ll be here, watching. Waiting.”

Roman smiled at you. He didn’t seem like the voyeuristic type... he really was full of surprises.

Victor stalked towards you and the thought of running briefly crossed your mind. You shifted your weight, your bare feet cold against the tile. You took a step back as Victor closed in on you and your heart pounded against your ribcage.

“Don’t run, little lamb, or do. It’ll really get Victor riled up.”

You inhaled sharply and your jaw clenched once Victor was within arms reach. Your eyes moved from victor and to over his shoulder, back towards Roman. The man was rubbing himself through his pants, waiting for the action to start.

Victor bought your attention back to him, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Too tightly.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” Victor whispered. All you could do was nod. “Well, where’s the fun in that?”

“Do something bad, and you will be punished.” Roman muffled a moan from his chair.

“And, I’m very good at punishments.” Victor gripped your hips even tighter, if that was somehow possible.

“Get this show on the road. Fuck her, or I’ll kick your ass out and fuck her myself!”

“Hey!” Victor turned his head towards Roman, “Give me a minute, fuck.”

Victor turned back towards you and before you could blink up at him, his mouth was connected to your neck. His lips were rough against your soft skin. HIs hands pulled you closer to his body, pulling you into him. You could feel his hard on through his pants and you let out a strangled whine. He set your skin on fire and stomach twisted inside of you. You wanted to hate every minute of it, but your body wouldn’t let you.

“Have you ever fucked before, little lamb?” Roman asked, palming at himself.

“I-” You let out a loud gasp as Victor bit your neck, “No...”

You could feel Roman’s eyes burning into you, but you couldn’t look at him. Everything was becoming too much for you. Roman proding you, watching you, Victor biting at you skin, rather harshly, his hands most definitely leaving bruises on your skin. While, earlier, your mind was running a mile a minute, your head was empty now. If this was causing you to feel too much, you didn’t want to think what it would be like actually laying under one of those men.

“Get her ready for me Victor-”

“What?” Victor’s teeth were removed from your skin, and he stopped everything to turn and glare at Roman.

Roman looked at you like he was ready to defile you, as if you were some pure little girl he was going to absolutely conquer. He was going to take your ‘purity’ away.

“You’re not going to be her fucking first!” Roman shouted.

Victor looked like he was biting his tongue. “Whatever...”

Victor turned his attention back to you and looked down at you, like a predator that had just caught its prey. “So, I can do anything?”

“Whatever the fuck you wanna do as long as you leave her pussy for me.”

Victor’s lips pressed to yours and his hands wandered to your ass. He gave a harsh squeeze and you let out an involuntary moan. “Oh god!”

Victor’s tongue slipped into your mouth and darted around taking in as much as he could before Roman inevitably took over. Victor easily guided you towards the wall and pressed you against it. One of his legs pressed in between yours, your bloody dress rolling up slightly.

“God,” Victor lifted one of your legs and pressed his thigh harder against your pussy, “You taste so good.”

Your body seemed to disconnect from your mind and you began to grind against his thigh. Your brain was screaming for you to stop, but your pussy was not having that. Something about Victor’s absolute terrifying aura was turning you on as much as you hated to admit it.

“Little lamb,” Roman was touching himself again, “getting excited aren’t we?”

“Please,” you whined. Your brain was telling you to stop, but your body wanted nothing more than to be absolutely destroyed by Victor.

“What, what do you want?” Victor growled into your ear, biting your earlobe.

“I- I- I don’t know,” You were breathless, but not in a good way.

One of Victor’s hands moved from your body and suddenly, the spot he had been roughly holding was cold and yearning for his warmth once again.

“Get those fucking clothes off her.”

Your eyes snapped open and you looked at Victor like a deer in headlights. He grabbed his knife and you looked at the blade, the color draining from your face.

“Please,” you begged, trying to push him away, your body finally listening to your brain, “please don’t cut me!”

“Don’t worry,” Victor whispered into your ear, “as much as I’d love to see how good you’d look covered in your own blood, that can be done at a later time.”

It seemed to settle in, that there would be a next time if they really didn’t kill your ass after this. You swallowed hard and shut your eyes again when you felt the blade press against your chest, at the top of your dress.

Victor began to drag the blade down the worn fabric, your skin beginning to grow cold as the air hit it. Victor eagerly ripped the dress from your body and he stepped back to look at his handy work.

“You look so beautiful.”

Your chest was bare, causing you to draw your arms up around you, protecting your chest from their wandering eyes. Your eyes were wide as you looked at Victor.

“Now, now,” Victor pointed his knife at you, “be a good girl.”

Victor grabbed your arms and pulled them away from your chest. You didn’t fight back.

“Fuck,” Roman moaned quietly, his eyes glued to you, “move the fuck over Zsasz, I want to see the pretty little lamb.”

Victor’s hand moved to your cheek as he stepped aside, and he turned your head towards him. He pressed his lips to yours once more and bit your bottom lip. Your knees buckled and you let out a loud whimper.

“Fuck!” Roman yelled, “God, get moving I wanna fuck her already.”

Victor’s hand roamed towards your panties while Roman’s head was leaned back, feeling absolute pleasure as his hand wrapped around his dick. You had a feeling he wasn’t supposed to be touching you there as he began to whisper to you.

“So wet already... After Roman is done with you... I’ll show you what fucking really means. Just be a good girl, alright?”

One of Victor’s hands moved to your cheek, his finger tracing over your bottom lip as his other hand traced you through your panties.

“Hey!” Roman yelled from his seat, “I told you don’t even think about touching her pussy!” Victor rolled his eyes, causing Roman more anger. “Since you wanna be such a dick, bring her to me! As soon as I get done with her, you can do whatever you want!”

Victor lit up. He didn’t seem to care about virginity. He just wanted to fuck you senseless. And knowing he could once Roman got through was enough for him.

Victor guided you to Roman, one hand on the small of your back, the other pressing a knife to your throat, just in case you did want to try and run.

“God, (y/n),” he actually said your name, you were surprised he even knew it, “you’re so beautiful, so innocent.”

Victor shoved you towards Roman, who was situating himself. He put his dick up, which confused the hell out of you, and he patted his thigh. “C’mere,” he sounded... a lot less aggressive than you imagined. You didn’t want him to turn though, so you obliged.

Roman’s gloved hands gently ran up your bare sides and you flinched. You sucked in air and looked away from Roman, who seemed not too happy about that. “(Y/n), look at me.” And you did. Your eyes met his and your heart jumped. “I want you to look at me while riding my thigh.”

“I’ve never done this before- I don’t-”

“Shh,” Roman placed a finger against your lips, “it’s not fucking rocket science. I’m trying to be nice.” He growled, becoming agitated with you, “I don’t want to hurt you, especially being your first... Don’t make me regret that.”

You nodded and gently placed your hands on his shoulders. You sighed as you tried to relax onto his thigh. Your gut wrenched as Roman grabbed your bruised hips and pushed you down onto him. You whimpered at his tight grip, his fingers really digging into the bruises Victor left.

“Goddamnit Victor, she’s bruising.”

Victor shrugged. Roman huffed and focused his attention back on you, “I guess I could walk you through this, little lamb. That would be the nice thing to do, wouldn’t it?”

you thought. 

“Now... let’s see what about you got Victor so horny...”

Roman placed his lips to yours and began to trail kisses down your neck, gently (compared to Victor) nipping at your skin. “Grind,” He demanded. Your eyes were watching the ceiling, and you couldn’t seem to follow what he was saying.

Roman pushed his leg up, his toes the only thing on the ground, and then he quickly dropped his heel back to the floor, causing ecstasy to surge through you. You gasped for air, you didn’t want it to feel good, but it did. Without thinking you began to grind your hips down onto his thigh.

You let out a strangled moan and he gave you a terrifying smile, “See, this isn’t so bad in exchange for protection, is it? I promise, I’ll show a hell of fucking time, you’ll never want to leave.”

You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck. You leaned against him, your bare chest pressing against his and your forehead pressing against the crook of his neck. You sucked air through clenched teeth as Roman bounced his leg.

“Roman-” you choked out.

“What, what do you want? Do you want to cum for me?”

Roman began to bounce his leg more sporadically, starting and stopping randomly. “Come on, I want you to cum for me. Be a good girl and cum.” Roman’s fingers ran up and down your sides, causing your muscles to twitch under his touch. “I promise, I’ll make you feel so fucking good if you cum. I’ll fuck you right here.”

You were coming close now. Your hips rocked against his thigh and you shut your eyes tightly. Your head rolled back and Roman began kissing your throat, coaxing you into your orgasm.

“Roman,” you whined. Your brain was fuzzy, you didn’t want to be moaning his name, you didn’t want to enjoy this. But you were.

“Cum for me, (y/n).”

And you did. Your stomach turned and your skin was on fire. You let out a load moan as you kept grinding in him, your movements becoming slower. Your mouth fell open and your grip on his shoulders tightened.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful coming undone for me. I can’t to fuck you.”

You were coming down, you could feel your pussy almost spasming, and your breathing was heavy. “Not here...”

“What?”

“I'm not comfortable here-”

“Hey. Boss!”

Some good walked in, causing you to let out a scream and hug Roman close to you. You hid your head in his neck and Roman growled. “I’m busy! Fuck off!”

“But, Boss-”

“Victor, take care of him.”

Victor nodded and stalked after the man. Roman placed his hand below your chin and pulled your face from his neck, making you look at him.

“You were saying, little lamb?”

“Um- I don’t wanna do anything out here. I’d be more comfortable in your room.”

“Since you're so special, I guess I could do that for you. You are being a very good girl, after all.”

Roman easily picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, and he began carrying you to his room. You were dropped on his bed and he told you to scoot up. You did as you were told and pushed yourself up to the head board. Roman began undressing and another weight seemed to settle on you. This was really happening. You were really about to fuck a bad man for protection against the other bad men of Gotham.

He slowly removed his gloves and then pants. Before you knew it he was completely naked. You sucked in through your nose and cool air filled your lungs, adrenaline seeming to pump through your veins. You weren’t sure you were ready for whatever Roman was about to do.

“Fuck, little lamb, you’re so gorgeous. Take off your panties. I want to see that pretty little cunt of yours.”

You nodded and with shakey hands you grabbed at your underwear. Roman watched you closely, and you quickly noticed your nervousness was palpable. Roman stopped you and began to crawl up towards you, “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Roman’s lips pressed against your neck and began to move towards your chest. His fingers moved to the waistband of your underwear and he easily pulled them down your legs. You instinctively kicked them off and Roman smiled into your neck.

“Fuck- Victor and I have had our eyes on you since you moved to Gotham... I promise you’re in great hands. I won’t let anyone touch a hair on your pretty little head.”

You nodded and let out a whine. Roman’s fingers traced patterns into your thigh as his mouth latched onto one of your breasts. He began sucking at your nipple and he slowly pushed one of his fingers into you.

“Oh God!” Your hips bucked and Roman quickly pushed you against the bed.

“Be good, (y/n)... Since this is your first time, you get a free pass, but next time you get a little too eager I’ll let Victor punish you,” He hummed into your skin.

You nodded and steadied your hips. You almost wanted to know what Victor would do to you. But you didn’t want Roman to stop. His finger slowly moved in and out of you and his thumb quickly found your clit.

“Does this feel good, little lamb?” Roman questioned you, pulling away from your breasts and looking dead at you. You bit your lip and nodded, your eyes locking onto Roman’s. “Good, I’m going to add another finger okay, I promise itl’l feel so fucking good. You’re going to feel so fucking good.”

You didn’t even get to nod, Roman pushed another finger inside of you and your head lulled back, hitting the headboard. You let out a moan and kept your hips from bucking, you wanted to be a good girl, you needed to be one.

“Please Roman!” Your voice cracked, “Please, move faster.”

“Anything for you, my dear (y/n),” Roman began pumping his fingers in and out a little faster, his eyes burning into yours. “Cum for me.” He demanded, his thumb beginning to rub quick, but very precise circles against your clit.

You easily obliged, your pussy tightening around his fingers. Your eyes rolled back and your hands grabbed at his shoulders tightly. Roman just kept moving faster, letting you ride out your orgasm. A cry of ecstasy left your throat and you bucked into Roman.

“Now, now,” Roman pulled his fingers from you, “I thought you were going to be a good gir?”

“I will,” you mumbled, coming down from the high, “please, please don’t stop.”

“Oh, I don’t plan on it. But, I’m afraid I have to punish you now.” Roman placed his slick fingers in your mouth, “Suck.”

Your brows furrowed, but you did as he asked. You began to slowly suck on his fingers and then realized what he was doing. He was angling himself against you. Your stomach flipped and you swallowed hard. Breathing seemed to become harder as you waited with bated breath for his next move.

Roman gently, or as gentle as Roman could be, pushed into you and your face scrunched, hips bucking out of some unknown instinct. Breathing became harder and your mouth fell open.

“Focus on sucking on my fingers,” Roman looked down at you, “And keep your eyes on mine.”

With a nod, you began sucking again and you realized how vulnerable you really were, laid out below Roman, someone who could easily have you killed. Someone who could easily be your worst nightmare. But instead, he was fucking until you saw stars and as much as you wanted to hate it, it felt amazing.

“Good girl,” he praised you, causing something to spark inside of you.

“You're so beautiful taking my cock so well. I’m going to have to reward you.” Roman removed his fingers from your mouth and pressed his lips to yours. One of his hands held him above you, while the other held your hips steady.

“Fuck,” you mumbled into his lips, causing him to pull back, “please, I need you-”

He pushed further into you before pulling out, “Need me to what?”

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop. I’ll be a really good girl, just fuck me!”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

Roman smirked before pushing back into you. He began to pick up speed and his hips slammed into yours. His mouth fell open slightly and he pressed his forehead to yours, “So pretty,” he huffed, “God, you’re perfect, you’re better than I ever imagined, little lamb. Fitting around my cock perfectly.”

Your hands grabbed the silk sheets under you and you scrunched them up, pulling at the material. “I’m sorry- I don’t-” You paused and a moan fell from your mouth, “I’ve never done this, I don’t know what to say.”

Your face was flushed and you felt nervous all over again. You just wanted to ensure your protection, you did not want to fuck up.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Roman slammed his hips into yours as he spoke, “So sweet, so fucking perfect.” Roman was getting close to cumming, and you were too. Roman realized that and took it upon himself to guide you through this.

“I want-” he grunted into your ear, “I want to cum at the same time.”

You nodded and Roman picked up his pace. Your hands moved to his back and your nails dug into his skin. Roman was pounding into you at this point, panting into your ear. He lifted himself back up and looked into your eyes again. “Fuck, little lamb-”

“Roman,” You said his first name causing Roman to get a little rougher with you, “I’m gonna-”

Roman moved slightly faster, seemingly reaching his peak as well. Roman let go of your waist and aggressively grabbed your ass, letting your buck your hips as much as you liked. As Roman pulled out, your hips followed his, not wanting to feel empty.

“I’m going to fill you up,” Roman hissed in your ear, “You’re mine, (y/n), all mine.”

With that, Roman came. Your orgasm quickly hit and our fingers scratched at his back a loud whine escaping you. Roman pulled your leg around his waist, and while his menstrations slowed, he seemed to have no intentions of stopping yet. He easily filled you up.

You lied under him, writhing with pleasure, trying to catch your breath. Roman slowed down and came to a stop. “Mr. Sionis,” you moaned, “please don’t move...please, just stay here.”

“Sh, I’m not going to leave you, not yet.” His hand ran down your side again, tracing soft circles against the sensitive skin. He stayed inside of you a few minutes, letting you both come down from your orgasms.

Roman eventually pulled out of you and rolled over beside you, “That’s the best pussy I’ve ever had,” Roman sighed out, “You’re definitely staying here, you’re safe here.”

Something came over you, and your pussy seemed to be controlling you instead of your brain, “This isn’t a one time thing, is it?”

“Oh no, my dear (y/n), you’re too good to pass up,” Roman’s eyes turned dark though, “there are a few kinks we need to work out, but over all, you’re a very good girl, and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, your safety guaranteed. Victor and I will see to that.”

You had forgotten about him. It was almost as if he knew that, because as soon as he was mentioned, the door of the room opened and VIctor let himself in.

“Look boss,” Victor growled out, “is it my turn yet.”

You were too worn out to even hide yourself from him. And Roman seemed to not care that he was there, maybe it was normal, maybe Roman was worn out too.

“Szasz,” Roman sat up, “Let us clean up, fuck.”

Oh god, that meant Victor was really going to get to fuck your brains out.

[zayray030]

Don't push a kind woman into darkness.

Summary: Iris really wanted to cry. She desperately wanted to cry and she didn't want to be the teams punching bag any longer.

OR

Everyone's a dick to Iris and she finally pops off and her husband reminds her that he will always love her

Notes: Team Arrow is here because they wanted to visit Central because of a villlian. Everyone is a dick except for Barry and Felicity so yeah.

Iris wanted to cry. She desperately wanted to cry. She also wanted to sleep. Maybe she could sleep forever and not have to wake up again to this. But maybe this was just a nightmare? Maybe she could wake up if she tried really hard.

Those thoughts filled the African American woman as she tried her best to keep her emotions in check as the team took turns at using her as a punching bag.

What Iris had been thinking at the time was that if she hadn't jumped at the attacker that was attacking a little girl in the mall then the little girl would have gotten hurt. But of course her father was choosing to skip over that part.

“I just wanted-” Iris tried but was interrupted. She just wanted to tell them her side of the story. She just wanted to tell them what had actually happened but there was too much anger.

“Iris, what you wanted is completely different than what you should have done.” Caitlin said using her special doctor voice. Iris didn't like the sound of it. It sounded condescending and the way that she was looking at Iris made her want to punch the doctor's perfect teeth.

“What I should have done is-” Iris really just wanted them to shut up right now but they wouldn't shut up and it wasn't helping. Was the room spinning or was it just her?

“Get to safety, Iris. You should have let the professionals handle it.” interrupted Oliver. If Iris was the same girl she was before, she would have swooned at the thought of Oliver Queen talking to her, but now she just wanted him to shut up and she wanted him to use that brain of his and listen to her.

“Okay guys. Let's take a breath.” Felicity interrupted everyone and Iris really wanted to hug the blond right now. “I'm sure Iris has a logical explanation, right Iris!?” Felicity asked her and Iris really wanted to bury herself in the blonde's arms right now. She was no Barry but her arms would help her feel safe until Barry could come to save her.

“I'm sorry blondie, but right now the only logical thing is that Iris decided that she wanted attention and went head first into danger.” interrupted Ralph before Iris could begin and she really wanted to get her hands on some of that acid that the Trickster had made right now.

“I wouldn't call it heard first because technically she hadn't head butted him.” Felicity had said, trying to diffuse the tension but only making it worse.

“Felicity, you're being biased.” said Diggle who hadn't said anything so far and Iris couldn't help but glare at him. So Felicity was biased for siding with Iris but Oliver could speak even though he wasn't even part of the team?

“Can I just-” Iris really wanted to talk right now but everyone was being an ass today. Maybe not Barry and Felicity definitely. They listen, they understand.

“No Iris! You don't get to be pissed off! Do you have any idea how worried we were? You don't get to worry us like that and complain about it!” snapped Cisco and she could see the hurt in his eyes. But why couldn't he see the hurt in her eyes?

“But I just-” she was cut off again and she desperately wanted to break down right now.

“West Allen, don't even try it. Even someone with the IQ of gum would know not to stupidly jump into battle like that!” Harry snapped and she really wanted to say something hurtful at him but she couldn't. She just held back and tried not to burst into tears.

“Please can I-” she desperately tried not to cry but it was hard. However that's until her father spoke again.

“Iris, please be grateful. Everyone on this team goes through more horrible stuff than you and don't complain. But you complain about us worrying and-” but she had had it. They don't complain? Oh, that was not going to stand.

“I'M SORRY?!?” she screamed, turning to him, giving him the glare she leaves for the scum of earth. Everyone except Felicity recoiled slightly in shock at her tone. It was one of pure hate but she didn't have it in her to care at this point.

“THEY DON'T COMPLAIN! BUT I DO!?!” she didn't even care about how mean she sounded. She had every right. Not once has she been allowed to scream for all her worth but everyone has been allowed to rag at her for the smallest thing. She didn't even care at the look of pain in Caitlin’s eyes. The Ice Queen could sit down and listen to others for once.

“Iris maybe-” Oliver tried to interrupt but she wasn't going to have it. She turned to him and sent him a glare so angry he was shocked into silence.

“Maybe you should shut it and keep your nose out of everyone's business and accept the fact that just maybe you're a dick to everyone who needs to understand the meaning of boundaries and not to interfere in shit he has no need to interfere in!” suggested Iris mockingly, but the tone was angry and harsh and tears where flowing down her eyes.

“Baby girl I'm sorry I-” if her dad thought he could sweet talk her into forgiving him then he had another thing coming.

“When will you understand!!? I'm not a baby!?! I have gone through enough shit to classify me as a senior! I was lied to by everyone in my life for an entire year, all for the sole reason that I was a girl!” she screamed at her father and he had the decency to look ashamed.

“Iris, people have to lie to-” Digg tried to placate her but she spoke over him, sending him a nasty glare that had him shutting his trap.

“My fiancé killed himself right in front of me thinking that I never loved him!! And you wanna know the worst part?!? I forced myself to push that away to make sure that everyone else around me was protected, safe and happy! To make sure you were okay! Make sure Barry was okay!!” she screamed and she could feel Caitlin giving her a sad look from behind her but Iris didn't want her pity.

“YOU!!!” Iris screamed as she turned to the ice queen. Caitlin looked like a deer caught in headlights and her hands were icing up but Iris didn't care. This was long overdue and she wasn't going to wait any longer.

“Don't even get me started on YOU!! You fucking assisted in my murder and I had to fucking accept the fact that you would start working with us again. You and that phycopath! And when I tried to yell at you before, you know what happened?! I got fucking yelled at like I was the villain!!”Caitlin had the decency to look ashamed but when she opened her mouth Iris spoke over her. “I would be perfectly fucking fine with you here. But I didn't even get a fucking apology!” Caitlin froze at that, horror setting in her eyes but Iris could care less.

“I have sat here in this team doing nothing but be sweet and nice to everyone. Have tried my hardest to make sure we all stayed friends. Didn't complain when I was sidelined and just took it in. Because when I did speak up I was looked at as if I was the villain.” Iris said, her tears making her choke on a few words and her dad looked like he wanted to hug her, but he could tell Iris wouldn't react too nicely to that.

“And now, I may not have been stranded on an island for 5 years,” she said nodding at Oliver who had a mighty look of shame. “or been in the army.” Diggle had the sense to look ashamed at himself. “but I know about being hurt. And the biggest hurt ever, is when people you love and trust won't even listen to you.” Her tears were falling silently now but Felicity was smiling encouragingly at her and Iris continued.

“But if you had listened then you would have known the criminal was straight up molesting the little girl and I stopped him from going any further. If you would have all wanted him to continue, I'll make sure to remember that when I see someone getting touched against their will.” her voice sounded so broken and so wrong on the normally happy girl that everyone but Felicity couldn't help but put their heads down in shame.

“She's right you know.” came a voice. Everyone turned around and they could see Barry standing there and he had a look of upmost fury on his face and he was glaring at everyone like he would do to the criminals he would arrest for murder or for rape. In disgust.

“She has been through so much and instead of complaining and whining about it like we do, she goes on about it to be a better person. She puts her problems aside for others and makes sure that everyone is protected. I won't deny that I have wronged her in the past, because I have, but I always make sure to apologise.” said Barry, cold fury directed at them and Cisco couldn't help but bow his head down in shame.

It reminded him of time he had created the cold gun and Barry had found out.

Barry quickly sped over to his wife and quickly picked her up, carrying her bridal style. Iris didn't say anything, just put her head in the crook of Barry's neck and tried to stop her tears.

“Now, I'm going to take my beautiful, selfless, kind wife home and all of you, except for Felicity considering she's the only one being nice to her, are going to think long and hard about what you've done and find ways to beg for forgiveness.” Barry's tone held no room for discussion and even Ralph or Oliver tried to say anything.

“Make sure she knows she's loved. And by that I mean bring her chocolate. Not that there's anything wrong with sex. I mean that is if you use sex. Which is fine.” Felicity babbled going bright red and Iris couldn't help the watery giggle that escaped her.

“I prefer both.” she said softly and Barry couldn't but smile at his wife.

“Then you'll get both.” he said quietly into her ear before running off.

“We really messed up this time.” mumbled Cisco and nobody, not even Harry could deny how dirty they've done Iris. Even Joe was standing there, shame in his eyes at the pain he bought his girl.

~Westallen loft~

Barry quickly sped into his and Iris's loft and quickly went over to their bed. He gently laid her down and sped into the kitchen. He grabbed all her favourite chocolates and sped back into the room.

He speedily undressed her out of her jeans and blouse and into some pajama shorts and a flash hoodie.

“I love you, Iris West Allen.” Barry said lovingly as he began kissing down her body and Iris couldn't help her giggle.

“Babe, no!” she giggled. Barry pouted in disappointment but didn't interrupt as she continued. “Let me eat the chocolate first. I need the sugar to catch up to you. Your stamina is crazy.” she said throwing a saucy wink at him and Barry couldn't help feeling the love for the woman right in front of him grow tenfold.

[birdsofpry]

#1 from the prompt list with buckaroo please. thank you ❤

I can tell. You’re wincing.

“In and out?”

“In and out. We get the cash and we’re home free, baby.”

Large hands cradled your jaw as you shut your eyes, centering yourself for what was about to happen. You try your best to focus on the feeling of his rough palms against your skin, the feeling of his fingers stroking your jaw, his thumb tracing the bones under your eyes. The smell of his cologne, of his spearmint breath. The overwhelming love that radiated off him whenever you were near.

“It’s gotta be the last one,” You swallow thickly before opening your eyes to meet his own.

Crystalline sapphire hollowed by thick lashes and black shadows.

“I told ya, baby. It is. I promise, swear up and down that this is it.” He spoke sincerely, tightening his grip on your face, tugging your face closer to his own to further his point.

“It’s the last one, then it’s just you and me and the coast. Whatever coast you want, this country or another. It’s whatever you want from here on out.”

You knew he was serious. Bucky Barnes was a lot of things, and a liar was one of them. Just never to you.

He had never lied to you, not even about the more gruesome things he’d done or the most gruelling things in his past. You were split souls, wandering the Earth for life in search for each other, and now that you were together there was nothing that could happen to jeopardize your paradise within each other.

“I wanna live on an island. With just you and only you.” You place your hand on top of Bucky’s and press him firmer to you, “Nothing but the beach and the ocean for as far as the eye can see.”

“Just you, me and the coconuts, baby. I promise.” Bucky gives you a small smile, one that you return.

You knew this wasn’t ideal, but nothing in your lives ever was. Who said you had to play fair to try to even the score?

“I’ll watch the door and you take the register?” You say, shoulders relaxing as Bucky’s smile grows.

“That’s my girl.” He presses a chaste kiss to your lips before beginning to rummage through the back seat for supplies.

You straighten out in your seat again, leaning against the headrest and breathing deep. You were never the criminal of your duo. It had been Bucky’s plan from the beginning to hit a series of small, mom-and-pop stores across the south to get enough money for the both of you to finally start your lives over.

Neither of you had had an easy go at life; and now in your mid twenties, you were sick of waiting for the world to cut you a break. To let you out from under the thumb of poverty, your abusive father and Bucky’s dead end job. You were sick of trying your hardest to right wrongs, and failing miserably with dirt kicked in your face. You were sick of seeing your man heartbroken that he couldn’t provide you with the life he wanted to give you.

It was Bucky who hatched the plan, but you were all too willing to go along with it. Because who really cares? Insurance exists and you and Bucky just needed the money more. Plus, if you were being honest, the thrill you got was indescribable. The sex after, even more so.

The feeling of your mask being placed on your lap snapped you from your thousand mile stare out the windshield.

“You good, baby?” Bucky asked as he set a comforting hand on your knee.

“Yeah, yeah. No, I’m fine. Y’know me, I always get all in my mind.” You reply, fiddling with the black ski mask Bucky had pinched for you a few weeks before.

“I know, I do. But it’s gonna be OK. It always is.”

“But what about-”

“Hey, no. None of that. None of that ‘what about last time’ stuff, remember? ‘Cause in the end nothing did happen, did it? We got out perfectly fine and that fucker’s bullet barely nicked me.” Bucky reassures heartedly.

Your lip began to tremble as you remembered the owner of the feed store you had hit a few days before. At first you both thought the place was deserted, until the old man came out with a rifle posed against his shoulder, firing at Bucky like he was itching for venassen.

You both had fled the store quickly, Bucky covering you with his large form as you did. It wasn’t until miles down the road when the fear and adrenaline wore off that Bucky noticed a puddle of blood pooling on his shoulder and a small portion of his left ear missing.

“I just can’t stop thinking about what if we moved a little slower or if he had aimed a little to the right... it just won’t leave my head, baby.”

You were failing miserably in trying not to cry, translucent streaks wetting your cheeks and meeting at your chin.

“Baby, no, no, no. Please don’t cry.” Bucky's voice was pained as he easily pulled you across the bench seat and into his lap.

He cradled you to his body, cocooning you in his strong arms and placing his nose to your temple as you silently weep.

“I know it was scary. I do, baby. If the roles were reversed and that guy had harmed even a hair on your head, I woulda have gone back there and painted the walls with his blood.” He pulled you closer.

Bucky could barely get the words out. The mere thought of any harm becoming you made his stomach churn with fiery acid and anger vibrate in his blood. You were it for him, the best thing that had ever happened to him in his piss-poor life of misfortunes and regrets. He’d be damned if he let anyone or anything hurt you on his watch. He loved you too damn much, probably too much if he was being honest.

The whole reason you two were jumping from state to state, running from your old lives was to assure that he could provide you with the best possible life he could. Bucky wasn’t a good man, he knew this to be true. But he wanted to be for you, and the second this robbery was done, he knew he’d be on the straight and narrow for the rest of his days. Purely because it was what you wanted and more than that, what you deserved.

“You know I can handle myself, and you know that I would never let anything happen to you. Right?”

Bucky looks down at you the best he can in your current position and you do the same up at him. You nod quickly, using the heel of your palm to wipe away the evidence of tears.

“Good. Good, baby. All you gotta know is that I love you and I’d fucking kill anyone who looks at you wrong. I’m always gonna protect you. I’m gonna protect you and provide for you and get you the life you deserve. And that’s a promise.”

You sit in his arms a while longer, soaking up his warmth and comfort his body provided. You nuzzled your nose behind Bucky’s ear and he hummed with contentment. You could see the haphazard bandages you had put on his ear this morning, the wound hidden behind thick gaze and white tape. You reach out to brush your fingers across the gaze, and Bucky flinches.

You recoil as Bucky meets your eyes.

“Does it hurt?”

“What? This thing?” He motions to his ear lightly, “Nah. It’s not so bad.”

“I can tell. It’s not like you’re wincing.” You say sarcastically and Bucky gives you a pointed look.

“It really isn’t bad. I swear. I gotta good little nurse who patches me up good.” He smirks down at you.

You just lean up to give him a kiss and fall back into his arms. You fucking loved this man.

Finally, the residual fatigue from your tears and worry wash away before you part from your boyfriend.

You climb back to your seat and take the ski mask from where it fell to the floor. Before you slipped the fabric over your head you pushed your hair behind your ears and combed it with your fingers the best you could to tame it.

But did the same. He was purposefully keeping his hair long before you two escaped to your new life, just in case the cops caught up with you both and he’d need to easily change his appearance. Shaving his head was much simpler than finding a wig.

Popping the glove box, you took out the two handguns that lay inside. You barely knew how to shoot, having only ever done it with Bucky’s hands wrapped around yours and his chest to recoil against. Thankfully you hadn’t had to use it yet, and you prayed you never would.

Bucky took his own gun and slipped it into the front waistband of his jeans, fluffing his shirt out so it was undetectable underneath. You settled for shoving the small piece into the pocket of your sweatshirt. It didn’t do much to conceal the weapon, but you weren’t really worried about that now. All you really cared about was getting this over with.

You glanced out the car window to see the store that was to be your latest mark. A rinky-dink corner store with a middle aged man mulling around putting away bags of chips and candy bars.

“Hey, no. Don’t look at that. Eyes on me.” Bucky turned your head to face him.

You hated that you couldn’t feel his finger prints on your cheeks or the scrape of his nails on your neck. The warmth they emitted had to be enough.

“Just think about me, you, us. Us on the beach drinking Mai Tai’s and looking for seashells. Making love in the sand, swimming in the temperate ocean, sleeping till noon. Think about that and soon, this will all be over.”

You nod, picturing Bucky’s words and wishing you could just fast forward to the good part.

You looked at each other for a long beat of silence, Bucky’s intense stare bore into your soul, communicating everything he wanted to say without him so much as moving his lips.

I love you. You’re my soulmate. I’ll protect you. It’s just you and me. I love you.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

He gave you a soft kiss, the stitching around your masks making it a bit awkward, but it was fine. Anytime you were able to kiss him made whatever obstacle with it.

He pulled away, before pressing small pecks to your lips and finally retreating from you.

“Stay behind me.” Bucky said this each and every time before a hit.

You always just nodded.

And you both got out of the car.

xx

prompts are open! one at a time with steve or bucky ❤️