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dre6ming · 2 years ago

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Our very last kiss

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Part II - I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+, unclear consent, depression, anxiety, cursing, medication use, crying….oh I hope that’s it~let me know if I missed something

Plot: you’re a 21 year old actress and you get casted to play Priscilla in the new Elvis biopic. You fall for Austin, but it ends up that he only thought you were going method with him, so when filming ends so does your relationship. For him at least.

Word count: 4400

Disclaimer: this story was inspired but Taylor Swift’s song “Wildest dreams” I’m not making any assumptions about anything. Also I wrote an Austin that is far from who I hope he is in real life.

Pain. You've felt it before. You and pain have sat down and chatted like old friends many times. But at some point pain would get bored, get up and leave, so that the healing could begin and you would get to meet up with other feelings again. This time though? Well this time pain was stubborn, it doesn't seem to want to ever leave. It has brought with it some new tools as well, little gimmicks to use on you body, so that everyone could know you were dining with pain. Everyone but that one person. That one mass of flesh, blood and bones. How could he not see? You used to scream that question at the sky, you used to pray for an answer but it never came.

You knew from the beginning it was wrong, but you couldn't help yourself. And you tried, you'll give yourself that much credit, but somewhere along the way you stopped restraining yourself. Now you eat mouthfuls of the dish you prepared.

You close your eyes trying to push back the tears from your eyes. You don't know how it's possible to cry anymore, how you still physically have any power to do that. You want to physically rip your heart out and start slicing it with a blunt kitchen knife, but that's not possible. Instead you open your eyes again, look pain dead in those black eyes and speak.

"Let me tell you the story of how I got here. How I was stupid to believe. Stupid to let myself go. Stupid to love. Stupid, stupid, stupid, so FUCKING stupid"

It started so simple and cliché, because it started with him smiling at you.

It's your first day of filming and to say you're nervous and scared would be understatement. This is your first big thing. Playing Priscilla Presley is a scary, exiting and overwhelming task. You worry that your very little experience and young age might be an obstacle in doing justice to the amazing person she is. You are only 21 and you've acted in some other small projects, but never something this big and highly anticipated. You are mortified at the thought of stepping foot on that set and making a fool of yourself. "Ok we're done!" The make up artist says putting her brushes away.

You get up from the makeup chair, wiping your sweaty palms on your dress. The first scene you'll film is the one where Elvis and Priscilla are in his room in Germany listening to music while she babbles on about her parents.

You try calm your heart as you walk, but nothing helps, it feels like your chest might explode with the pressure inside it. Biting your nails, you read over the script, making sure to have it tattooed in your brain. "Hi, nice to see you again!" A hand comes in sight, starched out for you to shake. You take it and pray that your palm is just slightly sweaty and not uncomfortably drenched with nerves. "Hi" it's Austin standing In from of you, dressed in military uniform, hair sleeked back and smile as bright as the last time you saw him, at the last table read you attended. That was over a few weeks ago.

"Are you ready for the scene?" The question catches you off guard. Is he asking that so make conversation or to make sure you don't screw up? It must be the later. "Yeah, of course." You try to hide the tremble in your voice by laughing a bit, but that only comes out as a strangled sound. You blush terribly and look away. "Hey, it's going to be fine, alright?" He crooks his head to the side to look you in the eyes. You can see how honest he is.

You nod and go to move some hair behind your ear, but quickly slam the hand back on your lap, you can't ruin your hair. "Okay" Austin lets go of your hand, placing both his hand in the pockets of his pants, smiling at you. You didn't miss the way his eyes looked you over from head to toe. "Alright people, Austin on your mark, on the floor. (Y/n) you begin at the window, come on now. Let's move!" Baz says. Shaking your head and making yourself shift into character, you take your position and start the scene.

Several takes over the next 3 to 4 hours are necessary to complete the scene. You were the one always messing up. 'Too stiff' that called you. By the time the take number 105 and the 3rd hour rolled around you could see that the nice attitude Austin presented himself with, had dissolved into one of annoyance. He was nice enough to not say anything, but his body language spoke volumes. The constant eye rolls, sighs, huffs and scowls, told you how over the whole situation he was.

Eventually you managed to get a few good takes, so Baz let you go home for the day. You feel bad that you get to go home, while Austin has to stay behind for some more shots. "That's it miss, you're free." With your hair down and face red from the makeup being removed, you make your way over to costumes. "Hi I'm here to change?" You say quietly, so you don't disturb anyone. The lady doesn't even look at you and motions for you to go in the changing room. "Put the clothes nicely on the hanger!" Is all she says as you move. You struggle with the zipper of your dress for several minutes, before letting out a defeated cry. "I'm sorry, can someone help my, I can't reach the zipper.

You close you eyes, sure no one heard you, so when a pair of hands goes to the back of your dress and slides the zipper down, you almost jump out of your skin. Looking behind you to thank the person helping, you almost faint at the sight of Austin, still in his costume. "Thank you!" You say trying to fight the blush rising to your cheeks. "No problem, darlin'" the Elvis voice still with him, makes you shiver and when a hand comes to sit on your lower back, brushing some of the skin there, the breath gets caught in your lungs. "Don't worry about today, it was only your first scene, I sure it'll get better." He leans forward a bit to speak straight into your ear. Goosebumps form all over your skin. No man has even been this close to you.

You slowly nod your head as he removes his hand, turns around and leaves. You're stuck, frozen, not one muscle in your body want to move. Quickly, with shaky hands you undress yourself and get into your comfortable sweat set. Leaving the dress up on the hanger, you run out of there. You don't know how you do it, but you somehow ignore the ache in your body and keep running. The next moments are a blur, until your head hits the pillow in the hotel room and you can finally cry. Sleep is kind enough to you that it comes fast and easy, but your dreams are relentless.

The next morning you wake up dressed in the same clothes as the ones you changed into after filming yesterday. Looking at the watch on the nightstand you see it's only 9am. Taking a hot shower hoping to wash the shame and the embarrassment off of you.

You know it's coming, you feel it, so later when you’re in the makeup chair and Baz walks is you brace yourself. 'Don't cry, don't cry' you repeat over and over again in your head. "(Y/n) dear, I want to know what's wrong? Hm? Come on talk to me, I know something's up. Your audition tapes were the best impressions of Priscilla I've seen." He's here to fire you, you know that. "I'm just nervous, I don't want to mess up" you blink back tears. Baz's face says he gets it, but still it doesn't mean he won't fire you. "Nothing to be scared of here, we're all a team. If you mess up, it's fine. Have you tried talking to Austin? He's going to be your partner for 90% of the scene, warming up to him might help." He suggests brushing a reassuring hand up and down your shoulder. "I'll try" you say as he leaves.

Today ends up being hectic, 10 different costume changes, hair and make up being done and redone 5 or 6 times. You are tiered, but pleased with your performance today, it wasn't the best, but way better than yesterday. On painfully sore legs you make your way to Austin's trailer, hoping he hasn't left.

You stare at the door, you can see the light in there, meaning he hasn't left. Before you can gather up enough courage to knock, the door swings open, revealing an Austin with damp hair crowning his head, white shirt lose on his shoulders and light wash jeans dressing his legs. He looks so good, he always looks good, but it's mostly Elvis good and rarely Austin good. You don't know if what you're thinking makes sense, but you snap out of it when you see his lips move. "I'm sorry what?" You say brushing a hand through your hair.

He chuckles lightly stepping out of the trailer and closing the door. "I said, can I help you?" You blush and take a few steps back, tightening your hold on you bag. "Um I was wondering, Baz suggested that we talk, you know get friendly. So I was just, I mean you know, but it's fine if you can't, I-, just, yeah..." nothing of what you say makes sense and he's laughing. He's laughing at you. Your face falls and it dawns on you how stupid he must think you are. Pathetic.

When Austin sees the change in your attitude, he stops laughing. "Just breathe (Y/n)." You do that, but it doesn't help. "Come on try again, slowly, you can do it." He chuckles a bit, resting his hands on his hips, waiting for you. "Would you maybe want to grab a drink?" You ask so quietly, he turns he's ear towards you to make sure he heard right. He seems to give it some thought and then nods. "Sure, come on I'll drive!" He starts walking and your just left there, standing, until he turns to look at you with a big grin on his face. You take that as your sign to move.

You actually have a good time at the bar with Austin, turns out he was a lot nicer than you thought. He encourages you, telling you about the kind words Priscilla said to him when they met. You two end up talkin until late at night, when the bar is almost empty and he looks at his watch surprised to see the late hour. As you stand up to follow him, you feel the 4 martinis you had, go straight to your legs, numbing them. Losing your balance you lean on him and his hands go to your waist to hold you up. Your breath gets caught in you lungs once again. You've never had a man hold you like this. Not outside the filming studio at least, never unscripted.

That night you acknowledge the fact that now things will be a lot more difficult, since you can't erase the feeling of Austin's hands on you.

After that night you two keep talking, as it turns out you have lots in common. You both love books, long walks, coffee without sugar and you both agree that the last season of "Game of thrones" never happened. You become close friends and filming gets easier, but you can't stop the crush that you develop. One night you decide to spend at his apartment drinking, while he forces you to watch "the lord of the rings", since you've never seen it.

The wine goes to your head very fast and you can't stop yourself when you talk. "Why are you so handsome? Hm? It's not fair, your girl is very lucky. You're nice too, whole package deal." Austin laughs blushing. Blushing?! No it can't be. "I don't have a girl." He says. He comes closer in the couch to you, takes the glass from your hands and puts it on the coffee table. Grabbing your face in his hands, he looks you dead in the eyes. "So pretty satnin" the pet name used by Elvis makes you feel lightheaded. Never does it cross your mind it's weird for his to call you that.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, lips so close to yours, you can taste his breath. Nodding you close your eyes and try to hear something else than the heart beating in your ears. Threading your fingers in his soft hair, your bring his head closer. The kiss is slow, sweet and when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, a whimper escapes you, letting him in to explore. He's fast to grab your waist and put you on his lap, straddling his hips. Austin’s hands move to your breasts, kneading them. You moan in his mouth, the feeling is euphoric, you've never done this before, no one has ever touched you like this, made you feel like this.

When he starts to lift up your shirt, it hits you like a wall, so you push his hands off, get up from his lap and stumble to the ground. He looks confused at you, pupils blown, chest heaving. "You ok?" He asks, picking up his wine glass to drink some. You want to cry. You don't feel tipsy anymore, quite the opposite, you feel wide awake. "Yeah!" You slowly get up from the floor and start looking for your things. You want to go. "Hey." He says taking your hands in his, stoping you from running circles around the living room. "It's ok, I get it, we're costars, you want to keep it professional. I should've known better then to do that while you're clearly intoxicated."

You swallow the lump in your throat. "No, it's not that. I just.." he's eyebrows draw together. "You just?" He asks trying to make some sense of what you're trying to say. "I've never..." you look down embarrassed to admit you're a almost 22 year old virgin. You are not even sure why you're embarrassed by it, you've never felt life that about it before. "Oh, oh, it's fine, we don't have to rush." Your eyes snap up at him. You don't have to rush? So he plans for it to happen at one point? You don't know what to say so you just nod. The night goes on like nothing happened, you watch the movies and then go to your place to sleep. But you can't sleep, you're up all night wondering if he really felt the same.

As the filming progresses, you two keep close, not putting a label on what it is that you are doing. Stealing kisses everywhere, hot make out sessions behind closed doors, cuddling at night. You can't help the love that grows in your heart.

Eventually one day when the two of you are cuddled up in bed, watching "The office" you let it slip. "I think I love you!" You say, anxiety rising as you wait for him to say something. Austin just stays quiet, frozen in place, as you lay on his side, head on his chest. You're slowly dying, the silence eating at your heart. He then moves, flipping you over. Hovering over you, wrapping your legs around his waist. He kisses you, a hungry, hurried kiss.

Your mind gets fuzzy with the feeling of the position you're in. You feel his hips slowly grinding against you. You moan and he moves to kiss your neck. You're too caught up to say stop now. So you go with it. Hands traveling down to take his shirt off. He's beautiful and you can't believe he likes you like this. Austin and you move like this for a while, removing clothing items in between kisses and tender touches. The feeling of skin on skin is so new, exiting and scary. You're afraid you won't be able to make him feel good, being so inexperienced as you are. "It's going it be okay, baby, it'll feel so good, promise!" He says caressing your face, trying to calm down the nerves.

Austin moves off of you, extending a hand to the nightstand drawer. Retrieving the condom, he sits up on his knees, pumps himself a few times and then rolls it on. Coming back on top of you he kisses you, slowly moving his hips so you can feel him. Grabbing your hands and intertwining your fingers, he brings his mouth to your ear. "This will hurt for a minute, but it'll pass, princess." You tremble with anticipation. Austin kisses you again, this time to swallow your cries as he pushes in you. It's slow, but it hurt, it hurts so bad, you try to fight his hands to push him away, but his stronger.

When he bottoms you, he goes to kiss away the tears falling down your cheeks. "Breathe satnin, breathe" he says, again the pet name escaping you mind, as you are to focused on the pain. After some time, Austin pulls his hips away from you and you hiss in pain. "Hurts!" You say through gritted teeth, hands still held in place by his. "I know, it'll pass" it's all he says as he starts a slow rhythm of fucking into you. He's right soon the pain subsided and pleasure took over you.

When one of his hands moves down to play with your clit, you lose it all. "Austin!" You say throwing you head back at the new feeling. "So good, mhm so tight, all for me!" He praised you. Soon enough your vision became blurry, your orgasm sending your body in a drunk state of mind. He stills inside you and you feel him twitch as he grunts loudly. You stay like that, connected with him by your most intimate parts.

Austin is the one to move first, going to the bathroom, to dispose of the used condom and bring a washcloth to clean you. When he's done, he throws it on the ground and comes in bed with you, hugging you from behind and covering your naked bodies with the duvet. Soon you feel his slow breath on the back of your neck, indicating that he fell asleep. Walking your eyes around the room, trying to figure out what you’ve just done, you see the washcloth, laying on the floor, blood is on it. As you stare a those red stains, your eyes fill with tears. You fall asleep crying in his arms. You just lost your virginity after saying 'I love you' to Austin. And it would've been fine, if he would've said it back.

You wanted to have sex with him, you really did, but something about the way it all happened, sits wrong with you. The feeling of being used plants itself in your chest, and it only grows over time, as the production goes on and you and Austin still have no label on what you are. The only thing that's changed is that you two sneak around to have sex now. You love him so much you almost never notice how he never said he loves you, or how he never looks you in the eyes when you two are intimate.

Slowly as your work together on set is done, you raise your hopes up, thinking he had been holding back to be professional. But that hope is crushed rather quickly, when a month goes by after you finish filming and he hasn't answered not one of your calls and texts. So you give up trying to contact him.

And now here you are, in a room filled with people handling you like a rag doll, dressing you up for the met gala. This is only the first event in the press tour coming up. You’re numb, you've spend the last 2 months crying in therapy, abusing sleep medication to get some few hours of rest. Your stylists huff angry at you, as you've lost a significant amount of weight since your last fitting. They are now speed sewing the dress onto you.

You don't want to see him, but you'll do it and you'll act professional about it. That's what you tell yourself, but that was until you walked the carpet to see him. Austin in a black suit, looking finer then ever in the three years you've worked with him. His hair is now back to the natural blonde, curly and wild. You start you walk up to him, but stop dead in your tracks as he turns a bit and you spot her. The 20 year model hugging his waist. She smiles at him, kissing his cheek. He smiles back. They kiss. And you die. You die and you walk. You die and you take pictures. You die and you smile for the camera. You die and you hug his waist saying hello. You die and pose with him. You die and you go inside.

The whole night you stay quiet, people speak to you, or at least they try, but give up quickly. You sit at the table, watching them dance and laugh together. In your head you're getting up, walking to him, slapping the grin from his face, asking 'why?'. Why did he take things from you, only to throw you away. But you'll probably never know.

You sit through months of press tour, doing interviews in the day and crying at night. You didn't speak a single word to him and if Baz or anyone else around you noticed, they didn't push to ask why. The worst part wasn't having to be in his proximity, or watching his and the girl make out every chance the got. No that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when you had to do photo shoots together, playing once again the Priscilla to his Elvis. Posing for pictures, having to stare lovingly at each other, knowing you loved him and he was just acting. Every time he was directed to touch you, you flinched and almost screamed.

You pushed through all of that though, because what else were you supposed to do? You just endured it. That is of course until the very last piece of press you have to do. He's alone today, girlfriend nowhere in sight. When you're done with answering questions and you're free to go, you follow him. "Hey!" He says scratching the back of his head, smiling. How can he? How dare he smile at you? "Fuck you!" You spit venom. He looks confused, catching his chin between his thumb and pointer, massaging the skin there. "What?"

"Fuck you! Fuck you! You ... you took advantage of me, you played me! Fuck you!" You scream, going forward to hit him in the chest over and over again. Austin grabs your wrists and stops your assault on him. "Are you crazy, woman? How did I take advantage of you?" You freeze, you can't believe it. "I told you I loved you and you took my virginity away, I told you I love you and you left me." You whisper watching his face for any gram of regret. Tears slowly fall on your cheeks. "I thought you knew it was only for the role, nothing more, when you've said you've never done anything like that, I thought you meant going method, not sex. I thought you were acting, you said Baz suggested it." You step back, shaking you head. "Liar, fucking liar!" You scream. It's a lie, it has to be. He doesn't say anything, he just looks at you like he's waiting for you to be done with all this so he can go home.

You pick up what little pride you have left, turn around and leave. Something broke inside you forever, he took so many firsts from you. But what hurts the most is that you let him. You gave yourself to him and he thought you were acting. When you get back home, you tell your assistant that no matter what you won't be doing anymore press for the movie, you can't be forced. If they want they can sue you, but you are going to forget about this movie. From now on it's only going forward and to heal you have to let go. So you skip all the award shows and when the little statues get delivered, you shove them away in a closet. You never speak to the press about the movie, avoiding the subject every time it comes up. The tabloids are going crazy with theories about why you're acting like this. In the weeks coming up to the Oscars you avoid it as much as you can, spending time reading though scripts for next projects. And when Baz call you personally to convince you to come to the award ceremony, you tell him to forget you were in this movie.

'Elvis' ends up taking home 8 out of all the 14 nominations, Austin got best leading actor and you got best leading actress, or so you're told by your manager, when he comes the next day to tell you that you need to make a thank you video. You hold your ground, saying "I won the award, I worked for it, I don't need to thank anyone." You were irrational, you knew, but you couldn't care less. The media makes a big fuss about your silence for a while and then it gets quiet. Soon you're almost 25, still recovering from those 3 years. You are now working on your first movie since 'Elvis', this one movie being the first in a list of other 4 you've booked for the next years. You are great full for the big break in your career that the movie offered, but you'll forever hurt thinking about that time.

Tags: @kittenlittle24 @amorx @cryingabtab @lexicox044 @lrissa @feral4austinbutler @sageskywalker @jesssssicaa @rainydayz101 @flwersgarden @bobthefishiesworld @captured-memory @homebodybirkin2003 @galaxygirl453 @butlerslut @chrisevansgirl34 @myradiaz @pennyroyalcreep @macey234 @im-lame-irl @lordandmistress @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf

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upat4amwiththemoon · 3 years ago

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I wish it was you

Summary: Big emotions lead to dangerous words.

Pairing: platonic Yelena Belova x female!reader, past Natasha Romanoff x female!reader, natasha romanoff x yelena belova

Warnings: angst, cursing, talk of death

Word count: 503

a/n: I’m sorry for the short fics!

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

Yelena and Y/N are in a screaming match. Neither of them really know what the fight is about anymore, something about Y/N not cleaning before Yelena comes home from her missions and Yelena going to too many missions. But now, the fight is on another level.

After Natasha sacrificed herself in Vormir, Y/N and Yelena decided to move in together into her and Natasha’s apartment. Both of them needing someone to comfort them. At first it seemed like a good decision. The two got along well since Natasha introduced them, but after being together for so long, it started getting tiring. They were so different, and still mourning, which led to heightened emotions and multiple disagreements.

“You don’t have to continue doing your assassin bullshit! I make enough money for us to live here until you get another job.” Y/N swings her hands around. After the fight with Thanos, she left Avengers. She couldn’t do it without Natasha. “You don’t have to kill.”

“It’s the only thing I know how to do!” Yelena’s voice matches Y/N’s loudness.

“Well maybe if you started doing other things you’d learn.” Y/N rubs her hands over her face, frustrated by Yelena and the whole situation. “Natasha wouldn’t like you doing this.” She mumbles, now much quieter.

“Don’t you dare speak of her.” Yelena points her finger at Y/N, taking few steps closer.

“She was my girlfriend.”

“And she was my sister!” Yelena has a frown on her face and she takes deep breaths. “I wish it was you who died there instead of her.”

Y/N freezes. Yelena’s eyes widens when she realizes what just came out of her mouth. “So do I.” Y/N whispers before starting to walk towards the front door.

“Wait, Y/N, I’m sorry.” Yelena rushes after her. “I didn’t mean it. I was just angry.” Y/N doesn’t say anything as she puts on her jacket. “Where are you going?” Her voice cracks. She doesn’t want to fight with Y/N, but sometimes all her pent up emotions just explode, hurting the people around her. And usually that person is Y/N.

“Away. I know when I’m not wanted.” Y/N mumbles, pulling on her shoes.

“Y/N...”

“Don’t wait up.” The door slams shut after Y/N. She starts walking down the road with no real destination in mind, just wanting to get far away from the apartment.

Her cheeks are wet from the excessive crying when she finds a quiet park and sits on a bench. The wind is cold, making her curse slightly for not bringing any gloves or a warmer jacket. She stares at the view in front of her while thinking about the last years’ happenings. Yelena is right. It should have been her, not Natasha. Natasha deserved to live her full life. She didn’t need to wipe anymore red from her ledger, she had done that for over a decade already.

She should have died on that cliff.

#yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova #yelena belova imagine #platonic yelena belova #natasha romanoff x reader #angst #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu fanfiction #mcu imagine #mcu #natasha romanoff x yelena belova

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prioritysope · 4 years ago

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Trust

Reader: Female

Character: Hawks

Rating: Explicit

Summary: After a long day, you arrive home, finding a letter saying that your fiancé. Takami Keigo, is cheating on you. So you decide to confront him, he denies these accusations and he decides to fuck those thoughts off of you.

Tags: Established Relationship, Angst, Mirror Sex, Vaginal Sex, Breeding, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Degradation, Dacryphilia, Slight Orgasm Denial, Slight Praise, Edging, Swearing, Dirty Talk, Overstimulation, Choking, Daddy Kink.

At this rate, you no longer knew how many hours you had been crying, but when you looked at yourself in the huge full-length mirror that was in the corner of the room, you noticed your eyes already swollen and red. Just remembering the reason for your tears, more fell on your cheeks and you were already physically and emotionally tired to continue.

When you got to the apartment you share with your fiancé, Hawks, you noticed an envelope as soon as you walked in. Frowning, out of clear confusion. You looked at the clock that was in the living room.

7:15 pm

There were still a couple of hours until Keigo returned from his patrol. You looked doubtfully at the envelope that was in your hands. It had your full name in some ugly handwriting. Inside you felt a hunch, because the letter did not contain the address of the apartment, so the person had to know where you lived and bring it themself. You went to the room you shared with Hawks.

“I hope this is joke from Keigo or some neighbor.” You whispered to yourself while looking for a razor to open the envelope. Finding it, you sat on the edge of the bed. Your hand was shaking a little, but you were able to tear the happy envelope and remove the paper that was there. You left the torn piece of paper on the bed, keeping the letter. With some fear you opened the letter.

You read everything calmly. The tears did not stop falling down your cheeks until some fell on the piece of paper. You couldn’t believe what you just read. Hawks cheating on you? It was impossible. You doubted with all your heart the fact that your boyfriend, now fiancé, from five years ago is unfaithful to you. However, you were also beginning to think that it was true, so you decided that you would face him and have him confirm it himself.

You were in a complete trance, still standing in front of the mirror; however, the sound of keys and a door opening pulled you out of it. You felt an electric current run down your spine, knowing that Keigo came from his night patrol.

“I’m here, baby!” You heard Hawks voice. You went to bed, took the letter, placing it in the back pocket of your shorts. Each time you heard his footsteps approaching the room, which caused more nerves in you. You swallowed hard when Keigo walked in, his face was relaxed, but as soon as he saw your face, it changed drastically. “Y/n, love. What’s wrong? Are you feeling bad?”

You felt like you were short of air. Seeing his worried face made your blood boil. Your lips parted, as if you were going to say something, but nothing came out. Although you are almost nowhere to explode from anger and sadness, the nerves would not leave you.

Hawks approached you, standing a few inches from your body. His right hand rested on your waist, trying to get close to his body. However, with some force, your right hand hit Keigo’s cheek, making him turn his head to his right. The impact was strong, that his cheek began to turn red. He looked at you confused at your action. He brought his left hand to rest on his own cheek, gently massaging it.

“What was that for?” His voice was deep, it sounded mad, but there was still a hint of concern in his gaze. His golden eyes sparkled.

You let out a sigh, relaxing a bit.

“How much longer are you going to pretend you love me?” You let out almost screaming as the tears threatened to come out again. You wanted to swallow everything and be strong, but just imagining your partner kissing and touching another person in the same way that he does with you, it hurts like a thousand daggers in your heart.

“Pretend? What the fuck are you talking about?” There was clear confusion on his face at your accusation. He tried again to get closer to you, but again you pushed him away. You needed a lot of explanations. “Love, tell me what’s going on. You’re worrying me.”

“You have a minute to explain this shit to me.” You snapped, throwing the letter in his face, which he took a long time to take. He opened it with some curiosity in her golden eyes. She read everything calmly, frowning at hers. Her gaze shifted from the piece of paper to you. He gulped loudly. “Time is running out, Takami.” You warned.

“Y/n, babe. I can assure you this is false. You know I hardly have time for you in general because of the many missions the Commission orders me to do. You have to trust me, sweetie.” Keigo whispered, as he took your hand again, this time you let him. He pulled you close to his body, feeling a certain warmth to wrap you around. It was incredible that you had a few words from Keigo and you were already believing him, but this time, you felt a great distrust in all this.

How did he pretend that with that you would already believe him? How did he pretend that with that you would already believe him and everything will be as if nothing? Although you hated yourself for mistrusting him so easily, for he never gave you reasons to doubt him. However, it was not so easy when it would not be the first time you were cheated on. and everything will be as if nothing? Although you hated yourself for mistrusting him so easily, for he never gave you reasons to doubt him. However, it was not so easy when it would not be the first time you were cheated on.

“I know I shouldn’t doubt you, but this is all very weird, Keigo. This came to me today. Who is going to want to separate us when we’ve been together for four years? At this rate, I don’t think anyone.” You said against his chest, letting a couple of tears fall down your cheeks, again. They both stayed like that for a couple of minutes, totally silent. After a while, Hawks attached you more to his body, being able to feel something hard brush your thigh, causing you to abruptly separate from him. You looked at him with an arched brow, gently denying him. You couldn’t believe this. “Please tell me that you haven’t been turned on by this whole situation.”

“Can you blame me? If you look extremely sexy while you’re angry and with tears on your beautiful face. It makes you want to rub your face on the mattress while I penetrate your tight pussy like there is no tomorrow.” Hawks murmured, a smirk on his lips.

Your cheeks turned a crimson color at the words that came from the hero’s lips. No matter how long they were together, you were always surprised by the fact that Keigo turned almost everything to something sexual and many of the times he managed to get you where he wants you. You wanted this time to be different, you wanted to stand firm.

“The real question here is. Why the hell do you think about those things? We’re practically in the middle of an argument over alleged infidelity on your part. But you act like you don’t care in the least.” You said with clear annoyance in your voice.

“Come on, princess. It pains me to know that you doubt me, when I have never given you reasons to think that I am truly unfaithful to you.” Now it was Hawks who seemed irritated with the whole thing, which pissed you off even more. “Let me show you how much I love you and that you are the only one in my life.”

You felt it was stupid for him to get mad. The one who should be furious is you, and so you were. You felt your blood boil with each word and attempt to touch you that Keigo gave. Your hands made fists, but it was so strong, even the knuckles looked a little white. Your mind was blank, your throat felt dry.

Keigo approached you again, but this time you stayed still in your place. She grabbed you by the waist to turn you around and get back to the mirror. You felt his hands walk through your curves. From your waist, he went down to your thighs, which he spread to your breasts. You kept your gaze on the ground, you wanted to keep your dignity.

“Look in the mirror.” Hawks said with a commanding tone. You bit your lower lip, trying to suppress any sounds that wanted to come out of your mouth. Then you felt your fiancé’s hand wrap around your neck, making you look at your own reflection in the mirror. You felt the various rings on his hand. “Don’t play hard, baby. I can bet how wet you are for me.”

With those words, your boyfriend slid his free hand down your side. You cursed wearing only your boyfriend’s shirt and your panties. Hawks’s hand went straight to your crotch. You tried to close your thighs, but this one did not allow it. His hand wandered under your shirt, so he could touch your hot skin more directly. Going up to your chest, taking one and squeezing it a bit. He also pinched your nipple to continue his way south. He reached for your panties, entering slowly. His long fingers trailed over your wet folds, drawing a gasp from you.

Your breathing began to shake at such stimulation. Sometimes Keigo brushed your ignored clit, making you moan. You hated the fact that he had so much power over you and your body. A big part of you wanted to push him and continue the discussion, but your other part wanted to play along. And the way things were going, it would all end with the second option.

“You look so beautiful in my shirt, too bad you won’t last long with it on.” He whispered in your ear, kissing your ear and then biting the lobe. Such action elicited a somewhat high-pitched moan from you, quickly flushing with embarrassment. You practically threw your dignity to the ground, all because you were weak to the blonde’s touch. “Keep making those sounds for me, princess.”

As the minutes passed, everything became too hot, you did not know if it was because of the heat or the situation so compromising. Hawks slid his hand out of your underwear, then down until he could throw it across the room. With care, he began to spread kisses down the back of your thighs, also sliding his tongue and leaving some bites.

“So beautiful… so perfect. I don’t know how you can believe that I have been cheating on you, if all I want is to get home so I can see you and fuck you against the mattress.” He whispered towards your skin, leaving one last bite in your soft skin.

“N-no, s-stop.” You begged still with heavy breathing. You didn’t even know why you kept asking him to stop, when deep inside you wanted him to go on and fulfill his promise to fuck that idea out of your head.

“Come on princess. I know you’re a good girl, don’t be a brat.” Keigo whispered against your ear. You could feel his breath against your neck, making you squirm under his touch. He moved away from your body for a while. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Hawks making his way to the speaker in the corner of the room. He turned it on, quickly connecting his phone and going to Spotify. “I hope you’re ready, baby. Because I won’t stop until you understand that you are mine and I am completely yours.”

With the first few seconds of the melody playing loudly, you could easily recognize the song: Into It by Chase Atlantic. Currently now everything was more in the mood.

You heard soft footsteps behind you until you felt your boyfriend’s hands on your waist. Then he took the shirt you were still wearing, pulling it off easily. You were completely naked in front of his eyes, which were filled with lust. You felt like he was fucking you just by seeing you, which made you a little flustered. Keigo is usually extremely passionate, but when he’s jealous or angry, everything gets wilder. Leaving you without the ability to walk the next day.

With both hands, Hawks spread your butt cheeks, giving himself a good view of your dripping pussy for him. He slowly licked his lips. He desired to devour you as if you were his last meal. There is nothing more Keigo loves, than eating your pussy with devotion. Also adding his fingers, to ride your orgasm, seeing your legs shaking and moaning his name as if it was the only thing you could say.

With the music still going, Hawks decide to continue. With his right hand, he brushed against your womanhood, making you gasp slightly and throwing your head back. His hand felt cold, but it felt good. With two of his fingers, he traced soft, slow circles across your neglected clit. You bit your lower lip, you felt faint with something so simple, causing you to hold the mirror tightly.

Takami scooped up some of your fluids, bringing those same fingers to your mouth. You opened your mouth, taking both digits. You moaned as your fluids made contact with your tongue. You ran your tongue through both thick fingers, until you felt like you were choking because Hawks introduced them to your throat.

“Taste your own juices, darling.” He murmured, his voice huskier and deeper than normal. “Your lewd expressions… so sexy.” You let out a surprised gasp at a new sensation until you lowered yourself to your breasts, seeing Hawks’s other hand with one of his feathers circling your nipples. If before with only his fingers you were already twisting, now it was more. Keigo pulled his fingers out of your mouth, spreading some of the saliva on your cheeks and going down to stroking your clit again.

“K-Keigo-” You stifled a groan when your boyfriend pinched your clit, sending you waves of pleasure mixed with pain. You arched your back a little, moving towards him a little, looking for more contact and only received a spank from him.

“Use your big girl words.” He groaned, spanking you again, leaving his five fingers etched into your smooth skin. You tried to speak, but now Keigo began to stimulate your clitoris more, probing those same fingers through your wet entrance; but without penetrating you. “I told you something.”

“I need your fingers, please. Fuck me.” You begged, letting out a sigh. You lowered your gaze to the mirror in front of you, seeing your own face. Totally flushed, strands of saliva running down the corner of your lips and onto your cheeks. Also some tears running down your cheeks, because of the pleasure that was beginning to invade your body. “Please.”

“Your wishes are orders, princess.”

By the reflection of the mirror you saw the malicious smile on his lips. He circled your entrance, then inserted his index finger. He slowly thrusted that finger in and out, enjoying your tightness and wetness. You were so wet, even your own fluids were sliding down your thighs. After minutes, he added a second finger, to make his thrusts harder and deeper. His fingers touched places you thought were impossible. You tried to suppress your moans and gasps, but it was impossible.

“You’re taking my fingers so well.” I have let out a deep growl, without stopping the thrusts. With his thumb, he made circular motions on your clit; giving you an immense surge of pleasure. You lifted your pelvis, riding his fingers, seeking more pleasure. “My dirty little slut so desperate.” He continued with his work inside you, while with the feather he had in his other hand, sliding it down your stomach.

Little by little you began to feel the familiar knot in your abdomen, you arched your back. Your moans were more constant. Every second your orgasm was getting closer and closer, and you were hoping that the fact that you were clenching around your boyfriend’s fingers would notice and make you cum. However, when you were about to, Keigo pulled his fingers out of nowhere, leaving you feeling empty inside and clenching around nothing.

A whimper escaped your lips, giving the blonde a pleading look, but he only gave you a mocking smile.

“Were you going to cum? Oh, I didn’t realize, do you want me to continue?” His tone of voice was sarcastic, totally making fun of your state as he admired you in the mirror. He slapped your sloppy cunt a couple of times, eliciting a high-pitched moan from you.

However, Hawks didn’t even give you time to respond when he already had you lying on your back in the center of the bed. Fully open legs. Your boyfriend looked at you just like a hunter to his prey. He was still wearing his hero clothes, pulling a pout out of you. You wanted to see his bare naked body.

Keigo stood in front of the bed, his eyes glued to your body. He loved to admire every inch of your body before devouring you. He slowly began to remove his clothes, tossing them to the sofa that was on the corner of the room. Once naked, with a smirk on his lips, he climbed onto the bed. He leaned between your legs, taking your thighs in his hands. He deposited a bunch of kisses and bites on them, before coming face to face with your throbbing cunt. With two of his fingers, he parted your folds, revealing your entire core. You heard how Hawks spat on your clit and with those fingers he scrubbed everything.

You arched your back when you felt the blonde’s tongue pacing from your entrance to your nervous little friend. Then the same two fingers enter your interior again. The movements were slow, while he kept playing and stimulating your clit with his mouth and tongue. You tried to hold back the moans, not even biting your lip could do it. Hawks was like this for a couple of minutes, constantly driving you to orgasm, but stopping just in time. Which made you whimper as you squirmed under his hands.

“So fucking good.” He moaned against your clit, his voice rough with lust.

A high whine left your lips as your back arched. Your hands reach down and dig into the messy blonde hair you loved so much. Dragging his fat wet tongue up and down your slit.

After hanging around you for a while, he removed his fingers from inside you and brought those same fingers to his mouth, letting out a growl.

He settled between your legs, lifting them until the back of your knees were in his arms. You were totally open to him, which made you blush.

“I’m gonna fuck you dumb. So dumb that all you’re to do is moan nothing more than my name.” Hawks growled. Hi slips found yours once again in the night.

The pair of you moaned as his tip slid along your entrance, but once you felt him bottom out inside, you couldn’t hold back your loud moan. The pressure of his cock against your cervix was all encompassing.

“God dammit…” Hawks moaned, teeth sinking into your neck as he rocked his hips into you. His eyes were glowing with determination and awe.

Hawks’s soft groans filled your ears as his thrusts grew in strength and pace, his cock pistoning into you with enough force to shove your back onto the bed.

“Oh god.” You cry out, trying to catch your breath as the brutal warmth from before returns. Your entire body was trembling with need of reaching your precious orgasm.

Hawks snapped his lips onto yours. His mouth moved in sync with yours, making it hard to breathe but you could care less as his sweet taste coated your tongue. You let yourself become lost in his touch.

He continued to whisper naughty things into your ear, his hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

“Such a cockhungry slut.” He hisses under his breath.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he continues to abuse your throbbing cunt.

“S-So good…so fucking good, nngh-” Your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

A deep, guttural moans leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most deliclous way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Just like that, you little slut.” He grunts, sitting up on hus knees, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how you loved.

As time went by, you wanted to try to drive him crazy. And the only thing you thought was to slowly caress your boyfriend’s feathers, eliciting a high-pitched moan from him and making him look at you badly. Just when you wanted to continue, he took both of your wrists and with his quirk, he held your wrists over your head. Keeping you still onto the bed.

“Let’s see if this would keep you still and without touching my wings.” He grunted low.

His thrust went back to a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth.” Hawks grunts. He see how you obey him and later a single drop of spit get in your tongue. “Swallow my spit, whore.” And so you did. The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot musle of your tongue.

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

“Now go on, angel.” He growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit. “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for Daddy and show me what only I can do.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling on your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling of your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such a heaviness, you’re left absolutely breathless while your cunt keeps gushing your luquids onto the bed and Keigo’s abdomen.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherents words leaving your lips.

“That’s my baby.” Is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Keigo, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good slut for Daddy, aren’t you?” His thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he’s digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you know that he’s also quite close.

“You’re also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely.”

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Keigo’s parted lips.

“Please, Daddy…need you to fill me up with your cum.” You encourage him and his body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Hawks buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the insides of the empty room.

“I love you so much.” He whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks. “Promise me that you will not mistrust me again, baby.”

“I love you, too, D-Daddy.” you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling his strong yet comforting gaze. “And I promise you that I will trust you.”

#prioritysope🦋#hawks #hawks x reader #mha #mha smut #hawks smut

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gaitwae · 4 years ago

Text

Whispers •||• Loki x Reader

Summary: You fall asleep to try and quell your stress, but nightmares only make your night worse. Impulsively, you do the only thing you can do.

Rating: PG for nightmares and initial angst. Fluff ending. I originally started drafting this around December. Uh. Here it is. Probably explains the bad mood board and the different formatting.

Tags: @make-me-imagine @thorfanficwriter @bwemph @myraiswack @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @natandersonnla @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @frostedgiant @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @the-emo-asgardian @amwolowicz @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting

+-+--

“What do you think you’re doing?” a voice snarled, sharp-tongued and voilent. Long fingers gripped at your shoulders, turning you about, left and right, left and right. “What do you think you’re doing, loving a man who doesn’t care about you?” You felt your throat squeeze up. The voice laughed at your displeasure, clawing its hands down your neck to your shoulders once more, then at your waist. “What a fool you are, Y/N... he wouldn’t even remember you passing.”

“Let me go,” you asked, your own words quivering in comparison to the feral tone that growled in your ear. There was a dark chuckle, almost a real laugh, and the claws released you. Instead, the floor beneath you swiveled, causing you to face your attacker... your nightmare. His face was hidden in the darkness of your dreamscape.

“Are my whispers too real for you, darling?” the voice asked, the smile audible now. This figure was mocking you, now. “Then perhaps you should just... wake up, shouldn’t you? Wake up, silly girl.” With a howl, a crow of shrill laughter, he stepped into your vision, pushing you back against a wall. His breath smelled like tea and blood. His teeth gleamed in a dark, sickening sliver of light. “Who do I look like?” he asked you.

He pulled back, suddenly visible to you now. Your eyes wouldn’t look away. You couldn’t stop staring at his face. The face. The face was what scared you the most.

Loki’s face.

+-+--

You sat up with your heart racing faster than it ever had before. You felt like your chest would explode; tears raced down your face as you tried to catch your breath and calm your heart down. You needed something different, tonight. You hated yourself for even thinking it, but you needed a blanket... or a stuffed animal.... or someone’s arms. You needed something to hold onto. You felt so alone, here in the dark.

You hadn’t ever felt so unsafe in your own room before.

What had come over you?

“I hate this,” you mumbled. “I can’t believe I’m dreaming about him, again.” You shook your head, sniffing once or twice. Your hands were clammy. If your hair was long enough for it, it had been wetted by your tears. Your pillow had stains. Something about the reminder that Loki wasn’t human hurt you.

Why? It was the truth. You knew he wasn’t a good fit for you. You always knew. Yet, somehow, you couldn’t help the tearing heart beneath your breastbone.

There was a soft knock on your door. “Y/N,” a female voice came. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, Nat,” you called. “I’m fine, now. You can come in.” You didn’t want her to come in right away, but your mouth was moving faster than your brain. All your wants had been concentrated on keeping this nightmare to yourself.

Whispers of forgotten affections, whispers of stupid dreams that would never come to be were in your ear as you sat, gazing at your hands while Natasha came in and sat down on your bed. You rested against your friend.

“I heard screaming,” she whispered. She rubbed your arms gently. “I thought something had happened to you.”

“I had another dream about... about him,” you said, angry at yourself for admitting it. “I don’t know why I have nightmares about someone I love.”

“He’s pretty intimidating, I’ll give you that,” Natasha said, now putting her hands through your hair. “Why wouldn’t you be afraid of him? I mean, he threw Tony out a window one time.”

You laughed gently, her joke making you feel better. “Tony’s terrifying when he’s pissed off, yeah.” You were glad she didn’t say anything about you being a strong woman. Usually, out of everything you’d read online, strong women didn’t need to be afraid of anyone. For once, you were glad you could be intimidated by a person you admired rather than being too strong to be “scared of a man’s opinion.”

It wasn’t like that.

Loki wasn’t like that.

“You just have to figure out how to ignore the whispers in the back of your head, baby.” Nat set a hand on your arm comfortingly. She squeezed, the tension you held in your body leaving as your best friend stayed next to you.

You held your head in your hands. “I’m trying. I really am, but...”

“You had a nightmare. You should get him to comfort you. Get over the nightmare and win him over,” Natasha suggested. “I’d stay with you but --”

“But you’ve got to go,” you filled in. You sighed, nodding with understanding. “Steve taking you?”

“We’re going to see a midnight film. It’s romantic, I think.” She shrugged. “I’ll be back around two am.” She kissed your head. “If you need me to stay, I’ll cancel. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay. Okay, just go.” You swallowed. “I’ll try my best.”

+-+--

“Loki?” a small voice came from the door. The god squeezed his eyes shut tightly, but sat up anyway.

“Y/N, do you have any idea what time it is, sweetheart? Are you cold? I can assure you,” he chuckled, lifting his legs off the bed, “solving that problem won’t be easy.” He balanced himself, then opened the door to see his dear little mortal. He stopped when his eyes adjusted.

Y/N was crying.

“What in the Nine Realms...?” Loki scooped you up. “My dearest heart, what in the world could be on your mind? Has someone hurt you? Are you sick? Shall I go out and buy you something?” He pet your hair. He was trying his best not to fret. He hadn’t heard any continous shouting, no walls breaking, and no gunshots. But... now that he thought about it... “Why do you cry?”

“I had a nightmare,” you murmured. “It’s stupid, but I wanted to see you... Nat came in when she heard me.”

“What was the nightmare?” he asked, crawling into bed with you. “No nightmare is stupid.”

You explained the horrors to him, and he patiently listened. He wiped your tears and stroked your cheek.

“I see,” he hummed. “You see me as... what?” He was trying to keep his cool. He didn’t want to react the wrong way. Nightmares could be of anyone and anything; the dark whispers in one’s mind didn’t necessarily mean you thought of any person as evil.

“You weren’t you,” you said. “Something was trying to look like you and convince me that I... I was wasting my time...” You ducked your head. You didn’t meet his gaze.

“Wasting your time?” he repeated.

It took you a while to answer. Loki was patient. “Because I’m in love with you.”

“You were scared because you’re in love with me?” he smiled, then laughed gently. Sleep was filling both your voices. You stopped crying. “Dearest, I thought we already knew our feelings for each other.”

“...you knew?”

“Of course, I knew. What kind of sweetheart would I be if I didn’t know? Have I done a bad job showing my affections?” His eyebrows drew together. “I’ll fix that.”

“No, I just... Humans don’t always exchange hugs and kisses and cuddling when they’re in love. Sometimes, it’s the need for physical contact, and I didn’t know if we were just... a thing... or if you wanted me to say something.”

“You silly humans!” he sighed. He kissed your cheek, your forehead. “I love you. There. Now, fret no more. I’ll battle your nightmares away.” He wrapped his arms around you. “Sleep. I’ll whisper lullabies in your ears as you drift.”

#loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki of asgard #loki god of mischief #loki mcu #mcu loki #loki #mcu #marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #platonic nat x reader #gaitwae writes #gaitwae writes marvel masterlist

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prettytamagnii · 4 years ago

Text

Here for you, with you (JJ X Reader)

Fandom: Outer Banks

Trigger Warning: ANXIETY, ANXIETY ATTACK

Disclaimer: I am a person with anxiety, and I decided to write this oneshot after an anxiety attack I had recently. I don't want to romanticize anxiety, or sugarcoat the reality of how it really affects us; what I want is to put my feelings to paper (screen, wtv) as a way to cope with my struggles. Anxiety is NOT solved with an hug from your crush, it is something that must be continuously treated, with help from a therapist. The support of your loved ones is definitely important, and that's what this oneshot is about, but don't forget that mental health issues like this require professional help and treatment, and that healing is not a linear process, but a continuous journey.

Summary: You have an anxiety attack during a Pogue's party, and JJ, your (not really) unrequited crush stays with you throughout it.

Tags: Oneshot, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Outer Banks imagine, Pogue! Reader.

***

Loud music, strong drinks, euphoric people messing around - that's what a typical Pogue party looks like. That's what tonight was all about. An abundance of young people, pogues and kooks alike, gathered around the front of John B's house, everyone with a cup on their hand, you included.

You didn't really like the taste of beer, it was too sour for you, but you often drank so you would fit in - you'd never admit this, of course. Kiara always assured you that you didn't have to drink if you didn't want to, you should never do anything out of pressure. You understood that, you knew your friends wouldn't mock you if you didn't drink, but a feeling of invisible peer pressure still haunted you during those parties, where not everyone was your friend, not everyone cared if you were uncomfortable with the noise or the alcohol. So, you'd drink. You'd try to blend in, to relax, to ignore all those feelings that hurted you, haunted you.

Tonight, you couldn't do it.

It had been a rough day before the party started, and the stress of this party environment was just strengthening those heart-wrenching thoughts and feelings. It was like there was no air left to breathe, your body was clenching around itself and you felt like you would explode. As your vision got foggy and the floor escaped your feet, you ran away into John B's house and looked for a place to lay down and escape that awful feeling.

There was a spare room, kind of a guest room where you always stayed when you stayed for the night. As you made your way into the room, people couldn't help but stare, some of them worried they saw a person looking so distressed. You ignored it all, for all you needed was to close that door and lay down in the comfortable bed. Just as you did it, you closed your eyes, allowing all of the tears to leave your eyes. It hurted inside, but it also freed you from the pain. There was peace in letting your tears run free, until there wasn't anything else to cry about.

"Y/N?" you heard Kiara knocking on the door. You had no energy to talk, but you managed to answer her.

"I'm in here."

"Are you OK?" she asked "You disappeared out of nowhere, everyone is worried about you."

Everyone? You highly doubted it. Out of everyone who was at that party, your friends were John B, ever since you two were very young, and Kiara, since you've always been classmates. Throught them you've also became friends with Pope, a very nice guy and the responsible one of the bunch, Sarah, the kook girl with a pogue heart after falling in love with John B... And JJ. Young, wild and free JJ, whose snarky smile and ocean eyes had got you smitten a long time ago. You kept your feelings a secret from anyone you knew, however, since something inside you, a gut-wrenching voice, told you repeatedly that he saw you as nothing more than a friend. You've tried to get over your crush, but these feelings wouldn't leave you. They stood strong and stubborn against the voice of your insecurities that told them to give up.

Tears kept rolling down your face as the face of the golden haired guy invaded your mind. Now that was no place, no time to think about him. A one-sided crush was the last thing you wanted to occupy your head as you tried to battle an anxious episode. Not another thing to be sad, worried, anxious about.

"For fucks sake, now is not the time!" you heard Kiara yelling, but she wasn't talking to you. Another voice reached your ears, unmistakable.

"Why not? I wanna see her" JJ's assertive voice shook your heartbeat.

"She doesn't sound OK, JJ" Kiara insisted "She's definitely not in the mood to party, let her rest."

"I'm not going back to the party, Kie. I'm staying here with her."

Having said this, the door opened and you lifted your head up to see JJ and Kiara walking into the room. You hoped they couldn't hear the beating of your heart, faster than light.

"Y/N" he called you. You tried to look him in the eyes, but you didn't want him to see your tears. Too late.

"Y/N!" they both approached you.

"I told you she needed to rest!" Kiara scolded JJ, before turning to you "I'm sorry-"

"It's alright" your voice was frail. You looked up, both your friends were obviously worried.

"Are you sure?" Kiara asked. Your eyes met JJ's, a part of wanted to scream. You had heard him saying he wanted to stay with you. And god, did you want that too. But at the same time, you were scared. You shouldn't lean on an unlikely hope that maybe, just maybe he could feel about you the way you felt about him. Yet another instance of wishful thinking, no solid truth behind it. Fuel to those oppressive, heart-shattering feelings.

"I want to stay here. Go have fun, you two" you told them. Kiara nodded, assuring you you could call her should you need anything. She went back outside, but JJ didn't move. The usually laid back, charismatic guy now looked so shy before your eyes.

"Y/N" he called.

"Yes?"

He held his breath.

"Do you want company?"

It caught you off-guard. You blinked, in disbelief.

"What?"

"It's... I'm, sorry, it's fine if you want to be alone" he stuttered. Your gaze couldn't leave his, as you took a step in the front.

"I don't want to be alone" you said "But I don't want to hold you back either."

JJ waved his head in disagreement.

"You're not holding me back. I want to stay here with you, if you want me to."

You tried to ignore your heart nearly jumping out of your chest as you heard him. Conflicted between your small hope and what was real, so you thought, you looked him in the eyes and spoke.

"I would like you to stay here."

He nodded, approaching you. He smelled like the ocean waves clashing against the rocks and sand, a long day at the beach, and maybe a little bit like weed. Still, his presence filled you, and you couldn't help but lean on to hug him. You shyly wrapped your arms around him, and a wight was lifted off your chest when he hugged you back, his arms holding you tight against his body. His hands running through your head, soothing you as your tears ran free.

"Hush now, Y/N" his voice sounded deeper than usual, but caring. You wanted to cry even more, not out of pain but out of commotion.

"Why does this has to happen to me?" you cried "Why am I like this?"

"It is not your fault, Y/N. We all have our inner demons, it's not always an easy battle to fight" he answered, pressing his lips softly against your forehead. You melted into that gesture, a cathartic moment when your wounds were attended to, mended with his touch. It still hurted, but in that touch there was hope that the best was yet to come.

"My demons are such motherfuckers" you said, a small laugh leaving your throat. You smiled as you heard him laughing too.

"But they are no match for you" JJ kissed your forehead lightly again "They are no match for us."

"Us?" you looked up to meet his eyes again. He pulled you closer, until your noses touched.

"Us, because I'm here for you" he answered, smiling "Maybe I haven't showed it, but you are very special to me, Y/N. I like you a lot."

You must have misheard it. Misunderstood it. Could JJ feel the same way about you as you did about him? It seemed so unreal. Too good to be true.

"Are you serious?" you whispered lowly, the thought of stealing a kiss from his lips never leaving your mind. He was so close you could almost feel the warmth of his mouth in your skin. That's when you realize, his lips rest in near the corner of your mouth.

"I am" he answered and you couldn't hold yourself anymore. You pressed your lips against his, briefly kissing him, and pulled away for a moment.

"Is this okay?" the question leaves your mouth. You look at his face and his eyes shine before you.

"Y/N..." he mumbled, but stopped at a loss of words. Instead, he pulled you for a kiss. You melted into him as his lips brushed against yours, soft at first but progressively becoming more eager.

"I have been wanting to do this for so long" he confessed, his lips still lingering on yours.

"So have I..." it was your turn to confess. It still felt so odd that it was really happening, that the guy you were sure didn't have any feelings for you had kissed you. It seemed to good to be true. But as your hands wandered from his shoulders to his face, and he smiled, playing with your hair, you knew it was real.

The party would go on through the night, but you still didn't want to go back. Instead, you fell on the bed, relaxing with JJ by your side. He held you in his arms, soothing your inner turmoil, a reminder that no storm lasted forever. That even when it didn't seem like it, there was hope. There was always hope.

*thanks for reading *

#so... I wrote something #tw: anxiety attack #tw: anxious thoughts #oneshot #outer Banks #obx #jj maybank #jj x reader #jj outer banks #jj obx fic #JJ x reader oneshot #hurt/comfort #fluff

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jinkicake · 5 years ago

Text

Love You Like I Can

Hinata, Kenma, Tendou when their darling finally breaks up with their s/o.

Hinata Shouyou x Reader

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Anon, I apologize, I kinda branched off into something much darker than you maybe intended,,,,,, I couldn’t help myself/still can’t believe I wrote this LOL........ For those wondering what my Feitan writings are like, it is like this but much worse,,,,, sigh. Also! Please let me know if I forgot to tag a tw, I think I got it all,,,,

SMUT // NSFW

TW : heavy implications of yandere themes, stalking, kidnapping, sadistic/masochist behavior, dubcon (kinda),,,

Take this into consideration before you read ^^^

WC- 2,171

~~~

Hinata Shouyou

Do you know Yoosung from Mystic Messenger,,,, LOL I think you guys know where I am going with this,,, Yoosung is the same type of yandere that Hinata would be like…. In this situation/in my mind

Hinata is so sweet and pure that it almost seems unreal for him to be possessive and protective,,,, not to mention obsessive and controlling,,,, so you never see it coming

Pls, if he sees you talking to any guy that isn’t him ,,,,, or any person even,,,, I think he would get really riled up

He’d want to be with you always and be the only one that you’re thinking about….

Hinata just reminds me of that soft boy™ who would turn out to be a mf yandere type…..

Let’s say you go to Shiratorizawa and you know Hinata from volleyball,,, bc your s/o also plays volleyball. When word gets out that you and your s/o break up, Hinata would be the first to comfort you and would be so supportive with everything you do

Then it kinda goes to shit because one minute you’re drinking something and then the next you’re waking up in an unknown room that you’ve never seen before. You’re all tied up and can barely move, can barely focus on what is even in the room

When you finally wake up Hinata is so happy and he still has that exciting energy he always has,, he’s like ‘ah I’ve been waiting for ten hours and now you’re finally awake!!!!’ And if you try to ask like where you are and stuff, Hinata would just say some bs like ‘you’re with me?’

This mf,,,,, I feel like when he tortures you, he kinda twists it into a way that it makes it seem like he is doing it for your own benefit. Like him carving his initials into your skin is to protect you and for everyone to know who you belong to, that sorta thing

Hinata would put all his energy into showing you why you belong with him, why you two need to be together, he’d probably punish you for not seeing it sooner and that’s where the angry sex comes in….

“Didn’t you know I was there for you all along?” Hinata asks curiously, still thrusting three of his fingers inside of you while ignoring the muffled whines and cries that leave your lips. “Why did it take you so long to come to me?” He continues to ask, a frown taking up his face as he voices his thoughts. His fingers inside of you once brought pleasure but now they are bringing pain, he has made you cum five times and has not once stopped. Your walls are feeling so stretched and every touch to your clit feels like you’re being shocked with electricity, it hurts. “Don’t you realize how much I love you? Why not me? Am I not good enough for you?”

His orange hair dips as his frustration oozes out of him and he flicks his wrist as he curls his fingers inside of you, dragging along your walls to find that one spot.

“You’re all mine now, I don’t have to worry anymore, right?” He growls and stares at you, his eyebrows furrowed and the dark look on his face makes him look unrecognizable.

“You don’t have to worry anymore, Shouyo-“ You cry, and your back arches into the air as he finally drags his fingers along that spot.

“Good, good.” He sighs happily and uses his other hand to rub your clit with four of his fingers. “I love you (Y/N), I love you so much and now you’re all mine!”

Hinata’s eyes light up with need as he stares at your swollen clit getting tortured underneath his fingers, his mouth waters at the sight of your cum spilling down his wrist. Hinata sticks his tongue out of his mouth in concentration as he repeatedly snaps his wrist to thrust his curled fingers along your walls and his mouth drops out when you squirt all over him.

“You must love me so much, don’t you (Y/N)?” Hinata asks you and you don’t have the nerve to tell him that you hadn’t just cum, not when he is like this. His orange hair dips once again between your thighs as he mutters to himself. “It is so obvious, how did I never notice before.”

Kozume Kenma

Now,,, with Kenma….. I think his feelings would be really dormant for a while,,,, like he would always have these obsessive tendencies with you but he would be able to control it and hide it

He’d become your friend and gain your trust,,, then stick cameras in your room when you’re not watching so then he can always know what you’re doing

Kenma is the type where your friends would joke about him having a little crush on you and you’d all laugh it off but in reality,,, Kenma is obsessed with you…. He doesn’t simply have a crush on you,,, he is in love with you

And as soon as you break up with your s/o, all his restraint will fly out the window. He will have zero problems taking you back to his own apartment/room and keep you there,,,,, Kenma does this in a way so that it makes you think you have control over the situation like you’re going to his place because you want to

He kinda reminds me of 707 type yandere you know? I don’t know why I keep referring to mystic messenger character but it helps me write this so….

Kenma won’t pay any attention to you or give you any attention but just simply having you in the same room as him makes him feel calmer, he lets you talk or rant for as long as you like,,, he is very manipulative with this whole thing

However, when Kenma finally has enough of you talking about your stupid ex s/o that he cannot stand ,,,, he will shut you up

Cue him kissing you and shit~,,, this will go from 0 to 100 real quick like what you think is your ‘friend’ trying to make you feel better will turn into Kenma’s dormant feelings exploding with every touch

All his previous feelings of rejection and just an obsessive need to make you his will surface,,, but he does it in such a way that it isn’t that intense and you’re into it…… even if he has an entire closet filled with sex toys that he wants to use on you

Kenma will leave physical marks on you….. You’re not coming out of this the same, no, he has a hold on you now and he is never going to let go

“Kenma!” You cry out as his slender cock rubs along your walls, his arms tighten around you and you moan again at the feeling of his warm skin.

“I can fuck you so much better than they could,” He whispers into your ear as he twists your leg up into an odd angle, one that makes it easier for him to dive deeper into you but also makes your muscle scream in pain.

“W-what?” You ask, unable to focus on what Kenma is saying due to heat taking over your body.

“You never moaned like this with them before,” Kenma mentally notes and begins to bite down on your neck, letting his thin hair tickle your jaw. “I’m going to show you how much I care about you.”

You can only nod at his words, even if you have zero clues what he is saying, it doesn’t really matter when he’s fucking you this good. It’s like you can’t even remember your own name.

“You like that, don’t you?” He coos in amazement and tests his theory as he sits up on the back of his calves, holding you up by your waist with your legs draped over his shoulders, practically fucking you upside down. This new angle makes you feel everything, and the gravitational pull on your breasts makes you grab onto them which brings a new wave of pleasure.

“Oh, Kenma I’ve never been fucked like this before,” You mewl happily and take pleasure in the way he is quite literally rearranging your guts. Kenma smirks to himself and digs his nails into your waist, watching as you wince slightly.

“I know, I know.” He mutters quietly and continues to smack his hips into your ass, watching with heavily lust-filled eyes at the way you squirm at the sting. “What kind of filthy whore likes this kind of play?” Kenma wonders in amusement, the deep crescent moon shapes are left into your skin by his nails and Kenma starts to wonder what exactly else he can get away with you.

Tendou Satori

Tendou,,,, ah,,, I kept thinking about this one for a while……

He would somehow always be able to keep tabs on you,,, even if you’re not really friends and if you go to different schools. Whether it be that he just always keeps himself updated on your social media or hears a lot about you,

Any aspect of your life… Tendou will somehow know about it without you even realizing it… He also is very attentive with your s/o too and always keeps tabs on them as well and very soon it turns into an obsession like Tendou has to have you

Tendou wants you so badly and all to himself, to the point that he can’t hold himself back and he needs to talk to you

Even if you go to different schools Tendou will coincidentally run into you, it is so perfect that you’d never expect that every minor detail was planned, and he slowly builds up your friendship from there

Tendou seems like the type to be very clingy and always touching you but not to the point where you’re weirded out by it,,,, he does it in a way that you genuinely come to like…. You and your s/o probably break up because of Tendou

I feel like Tendou would manipulate his actions so that you genuinely fall for him,,,, which works perfectly for him because now he has you all to himself

It’s like a flip is switched and Tendou goes from your caring friend to the possessive person he is, all his feelings come pouring out and he can’t help the way he treats you

I feel like when you cry it turns him on so he wants to see your tears when he fucks you,,,, Tendou plans everything he does and manipulates every aspect so you start to enjoy it and you think it is just some hot sex when really….. it is just Tendou showing you everything he feels for you

You are literally his after this,,,, Tendou is not going to let you go,,,, and you wouldn’t want it any other way

Your elbows give out after a particularly hard thrust and you fall face-first into the mattress. Tendou grins and cockily rolls his shoulders back before pressing on the back of your head with his palm to shove your face into the sheets. You can barely fucking breathe but with the way Tendou is slapping his hips into your ass and the way his balls are deliciously slamming into your clit, you don’t care.

“You’ve always wanted my attention, haven’t you?” Tendou spits and narrows his eyes down at you. “You always wanted me to fuck you like this, I know how much you like me.” He throws out into the air and if you could nod, you would. “That little Seijoh boy can’t fuck you like this? Can he?” Tendou mocks and you moan loudly at his words. “If only he could see you now, see how good I am fucking you.”

Tendou brings his hand down to slap your ass, the arch in your back has your ass practically shoved into his face. His grin only widens when he sees how your ass jiggles for him and how each thrust has your tits slapping your face.

“Tell me I’m the biggest cock you’ve ever had.” He twists your hair around his fist and yanks your neck so that your face is slightly up again. You take in a deep breath of fresh air and whine loudly.

“Yes,” You cry and Tendou raises an eyebrow before slapping your ass again, laughing at the way tears fall down your face at the sting.

“Yes, what?” He asks darkly and places his had right against your spine, right above your ass before pressing down hard. The pressure makes you sob even harder and you whimper at the pain.

“You have the b-biggest cock I’ve ever had.” You repeat and relax into the sheets when he starts fucking you again, the fast pace is something you refuse to try and even keep up with so you lay against the sheets with your eyes closed.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now (Y/N), we aren’t even close to being done.”

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah @lovellucy @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder

#hinata shoyo x reader #kozume kenma x reader #tendou satori x reader #hinata x reader #kenma x reader #tendou x reader #hinata smut #kenma smut #tendou smut #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut

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ethanesimp · 3 years ago

Text

THE OAK TREE // TWO E.T.

Pairing: Ethan Torchio x GN! Reader

Summary: Everyone at the Oakes Academy is aware of the rivalry that exists between two of the school’s best students, Ethan Torchio and Y/N L/N. What nobody knows is what a brilliant team they are when they’re at risk of their reputations being damaged and a killer’s on the loose.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death and murder, mentions of blood, mentions of death and descriptions of it, mention of suicide (pls read with caution, ily <3).

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

CHAPTER ONE

A/N: Again, I apologize for the delay, life has been a lil bit crazy this past week. I also wanted to apologize for any possible typos because I’m working on a project but decided to take a break to finish this for you guys! I promise I’ll proofread this as soon as I get some time. Also, in the part where they’re texting, I recommend you check the texts on the Google Drive for context. Otherwise you might get a bit lost.

DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT TE AVAILABLE MATERIAL IN THE GOOGLE DRIVE WHICH YOU CAN FIND ON THE SERIES MASTERLIST

Taglist (strike means it won’t let me tag you): @oro-e-diamanti @gretavanfleetlove @victoriadeangeliswifey @cheese-toastie-11 @selenophiliaxx @superchrystaldrug @petit-poussin @bidet-and-legolas @fallingforyou123 @ethaneskin @soft-boy-ethan @teenyweenynightghost @reputationdamiano @cantaraiilmionome @tabi-toast @queen-of-brokenhearts @geklutst-ei @juststalking @cruz-ata @ohtorchio @ethan-torchio-angelo @unitermoonshine @everythingisdefinitelynotfine @marriedwithmarktuan @its-afucking-mess @juststalking @goldenpeaxh

LAST CHAPTER’S WINNING DECISION: They believe it is all real and go search for the body the finger might belong to. (The impact of this decision will be reflected next chapter).

Let the games begin.

You had to read the last part once more, so consumed by the shock that barely any words had registered into your brain. Your hands were shaking as you held it closer to yourself. Maybe it was all part of the disbelief because you found yourself scanning the words over and over again until you had the first paragraph memorized.

But then… then Ethan started laughing.

Short, breathy laughs escaped past his lips, immediately followed by sharp inhales, as if he were desperate to get more air to reach his lungs. You brushed it off and went right back to reading the last few phrases that were on the very back, even said them under your breath to try and make them become real because everything seemed like nothing but a dream, no, a nightmare.

Then it slowly dawned on you after you finished reading the letter. All worry subsided and you had no doubt in your mind you would’ve started laughing too if you weren’t seeing red. Consumed by the sudden rage, you turned to Ethan and didn’t hesitate to tackle him into the ground.

In any normal instance, you wouldn’t have been able to do it, but you’d caught him off-guard, which was confirmed by the surprised yelp he let out as his back collided with the muddy floor and dry leaves crunched underneath his weight. You moved to straddle him the second you felt him shift beneath you, as if he wanted to get up.

You looked at him for a split second. His face was illuminated by the soft glow of the red light. His distress was apparent. He was thrashing around to try and get you off him when you started hitting his chest over and over again. Your hits weren’t hard nor were they intended to cause any damage to him. In fact, he could have easily pushed you off him effortlessly if he wanted to, but Ethan didn’t even try. Instead, he let you continue hitting his chest.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? You’re… a… fucking… psycho!” Each word was accompanied by another frustrated hit to his chest as tears slowly fell down your face and sobs rattled your body, “You were the only one who knew that. The only person in this goddamn school I ever—ever was stupid enough to tell it to. And you use it for one of your sick and twisted pranks? Fuck you. Fuck you!”

Your head fell and rested on his chest as you kept on crying. However, your words seemed to pull him back to reality. Only after a few seconds of you speaking, Ethan had already rolled the two of you around until he was on top of you.

You firmly held his stare as you tried to get him off you. For some strange reason, it sent shivers down your spine to see his eyes so full of fear. Ethan was always centered and glued firmly to the Earth. No matter the issue, he was always capable of keeping his cool, but now was far from being the case. His voice trembled as he tried to speak up, “Shut up Y/N! You’ve got no right to blame me for something that is clearly your doing. I have no fucking clue what your stupid letter said but mine said something that has me convinced it was you!”

His accusation was followed by him shoving his crumpled up letter into your face. You had to squint in order to see it better with only the aid of the red light. When you read the words placed at the very bottom, your eyes went wide and immediately looked for his in a desperate attempt to convince him it wasn’t you, but he had his head turned away. You firmly grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie so he’d look into your eyes, “I-I didn’t. Ethan I don’t like you one bit but I’d never. Not this.”

Ethan scoffed and shook his head. He got off you and turned around so his back was facing you, “You know what? I don’t give a shit what you did or didn’t do. I’m going to wash this disgusting stuff off me and report this in the morning.”

“What the hell? Are you crazy? Ethan, we're in the middle of a crime scene. We cannot leave it like this. I mean, look at you! You’re covered in blood because, let me refresh your mind, you fell into a fucking puddle of blood and found a finger!” You flailed your arms around furiously at his stupidity and started followed him the moment he started walking away, “What if this is real?”

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at you, “What is real? A threat that looks like it was written by a thirteen-year-old who just finished reading The Analyst? And the blood… it belongs to an animal for all I care,” He didn’t seem an ounce convinced by the way he took a second to come up with an excuse, and he couldn’t even look you in the eyes, “Besides, what do you want us to say, huh? Oh yeah, sorry. We’re out past curfew because of reasons we can’t tell you and we casually found a disembodied finger lying in a pool of blood. Ah! And I almost forgot the most important detail. We’re being threatened with things that are not only good enough to get us expelled but also get us thrown in jail. But everything is fantastic.”

You rolled your eyes, “Fine, do whatever the hell you please.”

Ethan nodded nonchalantly and walked away from you. A long and deep sigh escaped your lips at his stubbornness. You wanted to scream out in frustration at how stupid he was being, but decided it was pointless to stay behind, just in case someone arrived and found you standing there, with your clothes filled with blood.

——— ☆ • ♧ • • ♧ • ☆ ———

When you arrived back at the dorms, the first thing you did was take a hot shower as you tried to assimilate everything that had happened. Despite the water being so hot it almost burnt your skin, you still spent the whole time shivering and hugging your arms to your body.

You had washed the blood off the hoodie in one of the sinks and still threw it in the washing machine afterwards. You didn’t know what was going on and part of you was convinced you didn’t want to know. Either way, you weren’t going to risk being roped into a crime investigation as a suspect.

Afterwards, you collapsed into bed. Your whole body was aching and, if it weren’t for the fact that your phone had exploded with notifications after you connected it, you would’ve fallen asleep. You lazily felt around the small bedside table for your phone and picked it up. Most notifications were just memes Will kept sending to the group chat you had. However, you’d also received a message from Ethan.

Upon reading the first few words, you already felt the urge to throw the phone out the window. He was being annoying, not like that was a new thing at all. You responded to the text nonetheless and left the phone back on the bedside table. You turned around in your bed to try and find a spot that was comfortable and cuddled deeper into the sheets. Then, just when you were about to close your eyes, the phone vibrated again. You groaned and picked it up once more. After reading those texts, you were unable to sleep all night.

———

You spent the great majority of the night crying and shivering despite being covered by layers and layers of warm blankets. Those few hours before your alarm sounded extended into what seemed like an eternity and you didn’t want to leave the room, afraid you’d find something like what you’d just seen at the oak tree.

You only managed to sleep for about half an hour before your alarm went off at exactly six AM. Any other day, you would’ve snuggled back into bed for a little longer, but on that particular day, you’d jumped out of bed and hadn’t wasted a second before getting ready. You’d run out of the building to meet your friends at the dining hall, where you were currently at.

Damiano, Rory, Vic, and Will were already sitting at your usual table in front of the large window when you arrived. The curly-haired boy was practicing for a presentation while your three friends listened and made a few comments here and there on things they thought he should change.

“Good morning everyone,” You murmured, then took a seat in between Damiano and Will, who turned to look at you and frowned, “Are you feeling okay, Y/N?” You nodded and put on the best smile you could manage. Then you stole one of the berries from his plate even though you weren’t hungry at all.

You turned to look at Rory and Damiano, “Hey Ro, has the new phone you ordered arrived yet?” You questioned. After your conversation with Ethan the previous night, you needed to make sure it wasn’t them who had sent the text. Just the thought alone made you shudder in disgust and fear, but you just took a deep breath in and kept a soft smile on your face as your best friend shook their head.

“Funny that you ask that because yesterday I got an email from the store saying the delivery was going to take longer than expected because of the weather issues, so I gotta survive with this piece of crap for a few more days,” They sighed and placed the cracked phone on the table. You wanted to stop holding back the tears right then and there. Rory’s words were the confirmation that someone else had sent the text and you doubted it was Emilia. As much as you didn’t want to, with each passing second you started to believe the threat was true and that someone had died or was terribly hurt somewhere, and you needed to find them before it was too late to save them.

Then you remembered another one of Ethan’s texts and had to resist the urge to get up and go search for him because you needed to talk to him as soon as possible. Instead, you distracted yourself by listening to Will’s presentation practice.

You were close to nodding off at some point as he kept on speaking, “Back in earlier civilizations, it was believed that any type of illness was caused by demons and—Hey, Y/N!” You hummed softly as Will called your name. He poked you on the rib and you swatted his hand away, “Are you sure you’re alright? You look terrible.”

“Thank you,” You mumbled sarcastically, “I’m doing fine. I just stayed up working on a project and barely got a wink of sleep,” You let your head rest on Damiano’s shoulder and yawned.

“I wish I were that productive,” Victoria said as she played around with her food. Everyone had insisted on her eating at least a few bites even if she was still sick, “I never do shit.”

Thomas piped into the conversation, catching everyone by surprise as he took a seat next to Victoria, “To be fair, Y/N always complains about feeling half-dead from lack of sleep. I’ll never be crazy enough to sacrifice my sleep for a stupid assignment.”

“Yeah, and that’s why you’re one project away from failing Year 12,” Victoria laughed and Thomas rolled his eyes, “The other day I put him in charge of finishing this essay thing for philosophy and by the time I went back to check on him, he was already asleep. I honestly still wonder how we’re at this school. I would’ve thrown us out a long time ago.”

“Look who’s decided to join us today!” Damiano exclaimed with a large smile on his face as Emilia and Ethan took a seat right in front of you. It was an unusual occurrence for him to eat with you because, well, you were there and he couldn’t shut his mouth for half an hour while you ate, which usually ended in an argument that made the whole table annoyed.

You frowned at his appearance. He was struggling to keep his dark eyes open and his hand wouldn’t stop shaking. It was very apparent that he hadn’t slept much either from the bags under his eyes and his slow steps. Ethan was almost like a zombie.

He shook his head the moment his eyes met yours and your shoulders slumped. It hadn’t been Emilia either. You got up from your seat abruptly and walked away from the table without an explanation. You desperately needed a breath of fresh air before you went insane. So with quick steps, you moved down the hall until you reached one of the open windows next to a couch. You let yourself fall onto the couch and tightly shut your eyes as you breathed the fresh air in.

“You seriously need to calm down. Otherwise everyone will start to notice just how suspicious you’re acting,” You sighed at the sound of Ethan’s irritating voice and up straight on the couch. You rubbed your eyes with the back of your hands and looked up at him with an annoyed expression.

“You cannot ask me to calm down after what we saw last night. When will it get into your thick skull that whatever this shit is, it’s real. Those threats were real and if we don’t do something we’re both going to end up in jail, or worse, people are going to die. We don’t know who this psycho is nor what they’re capable of doing. We need to do something now before it’s too late,” The words rushed out of your mouth desperately. The urgency in your tone and your voice quivering as you spoke made his face fall. It wasn’t often that he took you seriously, but by the look in his eyes, you could tell he was just as scared as you were and that was enough to make him shut up and listen to all you had to say.

“Shit Y/N, can you lower your voice? We have no clue at all who could ev—” Before he could even finish the whole sentence, the Head Professor cleared her throat. But your heads snapped in her direction and you gulped in fear at the thought of her overhearing the conversation.

Your heart fell to your stomach the moment she spoke, “Just the two I was looking for. I need you in my office right now.”

Your eyes went wide as you turned to look at Ethan, who already had his head turned in your direction. He nudged his head in the professor’s direction and you both followed her as she walked to her office but stayed a few steps behind.

“This is it, we’re going to jail,” You mumbled loud enough so only Ethan could hear. He hushed you and pulled you along when you stopped walking. People were looking at you as you passed by and that only made you feel worse. You loosened the tie around your neck and gulped.

“We are not going to jail unless you don’t pull it together. Now breathe and keep on walking. I’m not your fucking babysitter,” He whisper-yelled and quickened his pace. You sighed and did the same thing. It surely couldn’t be that bad, could it? You were probably just overreacting and the events of the night before had nothing to do with this impromptu meeting.

You kept those thoughts in mind as the professor opened the door to the small office and you took a seat on one of the two squeaky chairs. The room smelled clean in a comforting way and you let your shoulders relax as you played with your fingers nervously and looked around the place.

Her office had always been your favorite out of all the professors’. The place was always warm and during the mornings, you could hear coffee brewing in her old coffee machine in the corner of the room. There were books scattered everywhere and piled in a way that didn’t look messy but inviting. During your first weeks at the academy, when you still hadn’t made any friends, you’d go into her office and read while you sat curled up on the couch and enjoyed the warm and calm atmosphere of the place.

Things used to be so much easier back then and you had no clue how things could’ve changed so fast. Back then your relationship with Ethan was decent and you had no trouble with anyone or anything, now you were being threatened into being framed for murder and being sent to jail.

“You totally forgot about our meeting today, didn’t you?” She asked calmly as she poured coffee into one of her cups, filling the room with the delicious and strong scent. The professor pushed her long dark hair out of her face and straightened out her uniform before sitting down opposite to you, “You looked quite shocked. I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important.”

Ethan sat there, speechless, just like you. But then realization hit you and you realized you were just being paranoid and stupid. She’d told you about this meeting weeks in advance. It was supposed to have something to do with your chance to get the sought-after 100% scholarship to study your career at The Oakes.

“Nothing important whatsoever,” You replied quickly and sat up straight as you placed both hands on your lap. Ethan copied your actions and tied up his long hair with the black elastic that had been on his wrist.

Your eyes followed the professor as she dumped a small spoonful of sugar and mixed it around with the dark liquid. You couldn’t help but notice her hand shaking as she poured the milk and even spilled a bit of it down the side of the cup.

She cursed under her breath and apologized as she got up to search for a napkin. With furrowed eyebrows, you shared a look with Ethan, who shrugged.

“I apologize. I’m afraid I’m quite distracted today, but let’s continue. Shall we?” She smiled sweetly and opened up one of the folders on her desk as she sat back down. She grabbed two papers from inside and placed one in front of each of you.

You picked it up and examined its content. It seemed to be some sort of permission slip, “So, as I’m sure you both know, our academy offers a program for all our brightest students that gives them the opportunity to continue their college studies with everything paid. You two are the people with the highest grades amongst the whole generation. The semester is—.”

Her words were interrupted by a few quick knocks on the door before a professor pushed it wide open. He couldn’t stop fidgeting with his hands and playing around with his tie as he spoke, “The council wants to have a meeting, professor.”

“I cannot do it right now, I’m—”

“They want to have it now.”

The professor turned to the two of you nervously and laughed awkwardly. She stood up from the chair after quickly pushing it back, “I’ll see you another day, okay? Meanwhile, please send a scan of that permission slip to your parents and have them sign it, as soon as possible.”

Once both professors were out of sight and had closed the door, leaving the two of you alone, Ethan spoke, “Something’s wrong.”

“No shit. Neither one could stop shaking. I say we go and try to listen to what the council members are saying,” You suggested and stood up, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you to sit back down.

“We need to go back to the oak tree first. Y/N, if this is all real and there’s something going on, we need to find that body before they do,” He said firmly. Both his tone and stare were serious and you could tell that there was no way in hell he’d take no for an answer. Instead of arguing, you agreed and walked out of the office right behind him, but then you paused as his words registered into your brain, “Why do we have to find it before them?”

He didn’t stop walking to respond, so with a groan you started to walk faster until you were right next to him, “You weren’t even attending the school when it happened,” Ethan began to talk under his breath, so quietly you could barely make out the words he was trying to say, “It was years ago so I cannot remember exactly how the story went. You can ask Thomas though, he has better memory than I do,”

“Either way, there was this boy who’d just gotten into college and during the secret society’s initiation, he was told to climb the highest tower at that campus but he slipped and fell like ten stories. Like I said, it was a secret society that neither the public nor the parents knew about. If the story of what had really happened got out it’d ruin the school and some of the most important students would’ve been sent to jail, so they twisted it to look like a suicide and got away with it. The only reason we know about it is because one of Will’s cousins, the duke, was involved in it all and Will told us all about it.”

“I refuse to believe that’s true. C’mon, it’s Will,” You laughed, “The same guy who convinced everyone in class that your family secretly ran part of the Italian mafia.”

Ethan only shrugged and stopped walking to knock on the door of the greenhouse. You’d left yours at your dorm that morning from how distracted you were, so you had to wait for Mr. Murphy to open up and let you through.

When he finally opened the door, his eyebrows shot up in surprise as he looked at the two of you in confusion, “What in God’s name has happened to get you two in the same place without fighting?” He mocked. You rolled your eyes and shook your head as a smile appeared on your face.

“I assure you, we can both be perfectly civil. Besides, it’s for a homework we need to do. And believe me it’s the last thing I want to be doing,” You lied and walked into the greenhouse with Ethan following behind, “Anyways, we’re gonna go to the lake to get some water and—”

“I’m afraid you cannot go out there,” He interrupted. You frowned at his words and tilted your head to the side.

“Why? Did something happen?”

“Nothing you should care about, kids. Just go to class, yeah? There’s someone coming and if you want to stay out of trouble you better leave before they arrive.”

YOU CAN VOTE ON THIS CHAPTER’S POLL RIGHT HERE. THIS POLL CLOSES AT 12:30 PM CDT ON TUESDAY.

#ethan torchio x reader #ethan torchio fanfiction #ethan torchio x you

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peeterparkr · 4 years ago

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perennial;tom holland|twelve.

chapter twelve: petunias.

↳ flower meaning: resentment, and anger.

chapter summary: monologues of brokenhearts.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: this hurts, mention of Cherry, of cheating.

word count: 8.2K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles

eleven: y/n’s birthday

previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.

perfidy ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hi, I’m back, hope you like this, please give some feedback! It was a super hard chapter to write haha, but I like how it turned out also check out the holiday fic! it’ll be super fluffy haha if you need a break from angst from this fic! so yes, please help me out because tags aren’t working well so yeS!

Shoutout to @jambrosemc for helping me get out of my writers block for this one!

Falling in love with your enemy means falling in love with someone who knows exactly how to hurt you, and falling in love with Tom meant knowing she’d take a long risk.

But she had taken the risk, and she had said it before, how she’d have her heart broken by him again.

But…

Not this.

There are different kinds of heartbreaks, the sudden ones and the ones forming for a long time. The kind of heartbreak when the quirks that you once loved make you fall out of love, or the kind of heartbreaks where the silence becomes too loud. When the days are too short and the nights too long.

When y/n referred to having her heart broken by Tom, she meant exactly that, the one heartbreak that doesn’t hurt as much, the heartache that you’re calm with because you both know you gave your best.

Not this.

It was like a truck suddenly hitting her.

Not this.

Y/N hadn’t really acknowledged the Cherry thing. She had ignored it, saying it wasn’t real, at first, as if postponing the real heartbreak, but then she was seeing it right there in front of her.

Everything had poofed. All the magic, all the good things. A glass was suddenly broken, and the pieces had pierced right through her very own heart. Besides the glass had broken and now there was no window hiding it, she could clearly see it. And though it had been just a matter of seconds, it had felt like a thousand years.

This feeling was so familiar, going all over it again, as if this was that one very night at the club when that pink skirt had kissed Tom.

The very night when she’d learned heartbreaks can be felt. And man, did it hurt, did it sting.

A scene. She should make a scene.

Because this had been the worst one yet. This one had hurt the most. She didn’t know how the hell she was standing right there, keeping her posture.

Had her heart stopped? Is this what dying felt like? And it felt like there was no one else there, just her seeing them. No packed up club. No. No, there was nothing left to do. And that was it. She wanted to run away.

And so she did, because really. Though y/n was selfish and stupid or whatever adjective they liked to use to describe her, she always, even if people didn’t notice, put people she loved before her, and so she knew that if she dared to make a scene, knowing who was at the club, it would be everywhere.

But she was also selfish, and she didn’t want to be on every celebrity news site. So instead, she decided to remove herself from that one narrative. As dramatic as it could be, she decided to run off, hoping no one would see her.

Tom did see her. And he tried to reach out for her. But she got lost through the crowd. Tom knew, Tom knew he had fucked up.

It seemed like too many things had gone by in just merely a few seconds. Y/N hadn’t been the only one who had noticed the kiss, James had.

But y/n didn’t know that. And although, she had wanted to scream, shout and yell at every single person in that room, she didn’t.

She ran to the bathroom, first, to take a deep breath as she clung to the sink. She was shaking.

How the hell had she ignored it long enough? And why had she? Ignoring it had only meant this would hurt more.

She couldn’t breathe.

Because, honestly, how could she? Was she supposed not to hurt? Honestly, what she wanted to do is curl up in the middle of the bathroom and cry. And cry. And cry.

But she didn’t, y/n had been brave enough to walk out of the bathroom, and she saw Tom trying to look up through the crowd for her. She barely could hear a thing, not sure if it was the actual music playing or her trying to avoid the drama, but she didn’t hear anything, everything was busy.

Little did y/n know there had been a chaos. She hadn’t herself made a scene, but Tom had.

It’s fair to say, Tom had not been the one to kiss Cherry. He, however, should know that though one never asks for a kiss, we hint it.

That had been the problem.

But he hadn’t hinted at it. We must know that this was one big misunderstanding, that had been cooking up for a while now and just like that, the one teapot had sung, and it had exploded.

There was a lot going on, y/n hadn’t noticed. Just the faint song playing in the background.

Sam had stopped her.

“y/n, are you okay?” He had seen the look on her face.

“No,” had been her only answer. She really wasn’t.

“What--?”

“Ask your brother if he’s not too busy snogging Cherry,” y/n had snapped.

“Che-?” Then Sam had been disappointed in his own brother. Because how could he? Why would he?

Y/N had the same question. And she’d ran off Sam’s grip. He had understood.

She had only walked outside, decisively. She hadn’t cried inside but the moment she had walked out, it felt like she was freed from the one chaos and off to the one she was feeling herself.

Right inside, Sam had reached for his brother who was currently yelling at Cherry, asking her what in the bloody world was going on. With Timothée, who was asking him the same thing at Tom. And Emma, too.

“What in the bloody world is fucking wrong with you?” Emma had yelled at Cherry. “It’s your cousin’s boyfriend! And You!” She had turned to Tom. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Was this your fucking bloody plan?” Tim said. “Were you actually not in love with her and you're doing Rome 2.0?!”

“He didn’t do it!” James had yelled. Because James had been the only one who saw the scene.

Tom hadn’t… He couldn’t talk. Tom knew it. Tom knew this time… This was it.

James had seen the scene, a bit, Tom was dancing, and watching y/n. He had seem bothered but his eyes were on y/n, and only y/n, though, he hadn’t hesitated as Cherry had danced with him, he had played along.

Cherry had told James something, minutes before going with Tom.

“I am in love with him.”

Though Tom had a lot to blame on that situation, James knew this wasn’t Tom per se. Because James over the course of this week had, although, hesitated on Tom, he knew that Tom was very in love with his sister. Problem was Tom sabotaged himself, and this seemed like the one sabotage he wouldn’t get out of. James had been unsure as to what she was supposed to answer to Cherry’s statement, he had only gone to the bar to get a drink, and assimilate, he had invited Cherry, but James had lost track of where Cherry was, and as soon as James had found her, her lips were already on Tom.

Tom had pushed her off right away, we must point that out.

But then, James saw it, y/n had seen it.

And he had tried to follow after y/n, but she had really easily got lost. The lights and music had been no help.

But he knew his sister and after clearing it up to Emma, though he didn’t have to, that it had not been Tom, he had known where his sister was.

And so he had ran out of the club, and James had reached out for y/n, unsure of what to tell her.

She had yelled at James, at Clark, but one knight in shining armor had come to her rescue. Harry.

Not in the way she had expected him to, but Harry was going exactly through the same situation y/n was. Or maybe not, but he had decided he should leave. And so as he was hopping on to his uber, y/n decided to hop along with him as well, seeing Tom had just walked out of the bar.

Harry, confused, only watched her.

He couldn’t really help her, either, he was going through a heartbreak as well. So funny, the two friends had just witnessed the love of their lives kissing someone else.

“I’m sorry,” y/n said. “I had to leave.”

Harry didn’t know what had happened, luckily enough for him, and for Tom, he had not been aware of the big drama that was still going on at that club. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to ask, as y/n was trying to catch her breath.

She was broken, as she hadn’t been before. Harry had seen every single stage of a sad y/n, but this was different. She was sobbing and weeping and mumbling unreasonably.

Harry couldn’t soothe her sorrow. Because he had to have his own sorrow, he couldn’t help it.

But y/n had let out one last sob before calming down. Silently. As if she had had one sudden last realization.

“I’m… I’m sorry, where are you going?” Y/N asked.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, something to eat, I just wanted to leave,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry I… interrupted your escape.”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry nodded. “I guess you needed to, as well.”

“What happened to you?”

“Emma kissed Josh,” Harry said. Y/N had widened her eyes and curled up close to him. “What happened to you? Did Tom and Tim fight?”

Y/N stayed quiet.

“Or…?”

“Tom and Cherry kissed.”

Harry felt his heart stopped as soon as he had listened to it. This… At least he wasn’t seeing Emma. Yes, it hurt, but he was not dating her. His own sorrow didn’t have reason but y/n’s?

He hugged her close.

“Wanna go for some fries?” He asked.

“Yes.”

They stayed quiet, but they hugged each other close, and both understood neither of them could give out any advice or whatever.

They went to the diner. Harry knew that a feeling of familiarity would help y/n, and he knew that it would help him because it was the only place he could think of.

Neither of them had said anything, and y/n had tried to clean up the smudge mascara and glitter on her face, now tracing the trails of her tears.

She had asked for a milkshake and Harry had asked for a coffee, and she was wearing Harry’s jacket.

The scene was painted clearly. Both of them were so heartbroken, but different kinds of ones. Both of them full of sadness and sorrow.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked.

y/n looked up. “Empty.”

And Harry knew this was the worst feeling of a heartbreak. Because Harry was sad, and feeling guilty. But feeling empty was the one thing that he knew y/n hated. Because usually y/n could easily say how she was feeling: ‘Sad’, ‘Angry’, ‘Disappointment’.

Empty.

She was feeling empty, and feeling empty gives us no inkling to fight, feeling empty gives us no reason to cry or yell. Feeling empty means giving up.

Empty.

“You?” She asked.

“Sad,” he answered, as they’d brought them their fries. “Very sad.”

Y/N nodded. “Emma doesn’t have feelings for him,” she assured him. “I know that.”

“I know,” Harry said. “I know, but she did it to…”

“Prove a point, yeah,” y/n said. “I know, that only makes it hurt more, doesn’t it?”

Harry looked at y/n. “He doesn’t-”

“I know, he did it to hurt me,” y/n answered,her voice had cracked. Her phone was ringing. It was James. She ignored it.

Y/N didn’t know how to put it into words, actually. How to actually say what she was feeling. She was actually empty, but so full of emotions. She was enraged, she was sad, upset, disappointed and hurt, and just too much going on, but at the same time she didn’t want to do anything about it. Not cry. Not yell. Not anything.

It felt the same way it had those years ago. Pink skirt.

But this hurt more, because even when she had made mistakes herself, she knew she didn’t deserve this.

Because she felt like she knew the ending to this, she wished she didn’t, but this felt so familiar. Y/N had died a little that night. It felt dark, like she had been on fire but all she was was ashes now.

And there was that feeling that she didn’t want to waste more tears on him, she didn’t want to. She had become a ghost, Tom had killed her that night. Any hope. That was it, there was that feeling that she should fight but she couldn’t because there was no life left on her. Not at that moment.

Tom hadn’t called her.

“I’m sorry he did it,” Harry said.

“I guess I…” She didn’t know. “I didn’t expect him to hurt me this time, and he did it, turning my worst fear into another nightmare I can’t wake up from.”

Harry didn’t know what to say.

“And I don’t want to cry.”

“You do need to,” Harry said.

“I won’t,” she admitted.

They stayed there, quietly. Neither of them knowing what to say.

“Want me to take you home?”

“No, because Tim will be there, and I don’t want go to your place because-”

“Tom will be there and at your aunt’s… yeah,” Harry finished her sentence. “Let’s go get a hotel room, then.”

They did. And it was good for both of them.

And she was expecting for the call. Staring at her phone, waiting for it. Tom. Please, please, please.

He didn’t.

And she didn’t have it in herself to call her, she didn’t have the strength or the power or anything. She was empty.

Her worst enemy. He knew how to hurt her.

Harry knew what this meant. Because Harry knew what was going on through her head.

Tom had been the first one to put that fear on y/n when they were young, why would anyone want you, and then Louis had enforced it. Louis had said it to her ‘you’re replaceable, nothing special, that’s why everyone leaves.’ Just as Louis had found another girl.

Then Tom had done the pink skirt show. And Tim, not knowing this, had also enforced it, right after y/n and Tim had broken up, Tim had found a rebound.

And now this.

This was y/n’s worst fear, and that’s why she felt so unbelievably broken, because of course Tom would do it again. Was this only just another way of Tom to ruin her? Were they still enemies or why was he doing this?

Or was she truly replaceable? Boring.

Harry wanted to know what was going on in her mind. She was lost in her memory, staring blankly at the elevator door as they went up to the hotel room. Harry wasn’t sure if he was supposed to stay.

“Please, stay,” she had begged him.

And he had, because he also needed company.

She had only sat on the bed, staring at nothing, as if she was trying to understand the situation, figure out why, map everything out.

Harry exhaled. Knowing that he too, had to let it out, and knowing that she would listen.

He wanted to cheer her up, and he wanted to remind her of good times, get her head out of it, but he didn’t know how to get out himself. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, but he couldn’t.

And he knew his heartbreak probably couldn’t compare to his but his guilt was always eating him.

“Did he ever truly love me?” y/n asked.

Harry didn’t know what to answer to that question, because he was wondering about it himself. How could anyone ever kiss someone if you’re in love with…

But then again, he had kissed y/n knowing he was deeply in love with Emma.

“Yes,” he said.

“Why did he sleep with her?” She asked, the emotion was building up. “I… why did he kiss her?”

Harry shrugged. “I have no idea.” But he knew y/n wasn’t really looking for an answer. She was probably asking questions to herself.

“Why did he do it” She asked now louder as she stood up. “Why did I-” And she was having difficulty to breath. “Why didn’t I see it coming? Why have I been ignoring it? Does he have feelings for her? Did he do it to hurt me again? Was it a prank? Is it a prank again? Is he… Is it like” She was yelling in between breaths, as she was shaking. “Is this… Is this all over again? Did he do it just to- What did I do wrong? What if he.. What if… I can’t… I don’t… Why is he doing this? Why hasn’t he called me? Will he… Will he come over again and say he never meant anything and it--- I was--- Did he--- Harry why did --- why did he do this?” She had spoken loudly, quickly and barely breathing, screaming but quietly, as if she was only externalizing every thought in her head, she had to sit down again, now tears blurring her sight. “Did… he ever truly love me?” She asked, quietly, as she sat down on the bed. “Why would-” She was inhaling and exhaling deeply.

Harry hated seeing her like this so he only brought her close to him, holding her closely. She cried against his chest, and they had laid down, with him holding her. Knowing that this was what she needed, she couldn’t be left alone.

“I’m sorry Harry, you’re brokenhearted-” She had said at one point as she had sat up.

“It’s nothing like yours,” Harry admitted.

She had walked around the room. “Why did I have to fall in love with him?”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“I wish I hadn’t,” she said. “Look at all the pain and now--” She bit her lip. “I guess, I have… This is on me-”

“No, it’s not.”

“No, it is, because I’ve been avoiding the whole Cherry thing,” she said. “I thought that by avoiding it, it would eventually fade away and disappear, and… I know I fucked up, but not even on my worst mistakes, no matter what I did, I didn’t deserve this,” she said.

“No.”

“And I’m....” She sighed. “He doesn't’ have feelings for her, does he?”

“No.”

She had opened up the frigobar, and gotten out a bottle of vodka and some m&m’s.

“That’s what- He kissed her because he knew I’d be watching her, and he’s probably trying to get back at me for… dancing with Timmy? Is it that this time?” She sighed. “I don’t know what for he is getting back at me this time, and I can’t… Can you bloody believe that just 24 hours ago I thought… I… I thought I was strong enough to go through another heartbreak and look at me.”

Harry watched her.

“It hurt more than last time, I thought I… had gotten used to it but you can never get used to the love of your life hurting you,” she was too… sure of it. “And… I’m an idiot, and… I don’t know, I want to know what I did wrong this time, but… Here I am, wondering, and I know this isn’t me, this is Tom, and maybe I was so stupid and I havent’ seen it, maybe it was all a big hoax for him trying to hurt me again,” she scoffed. “like he did back after Rome, and here I thought he was… I don’t know, how stupid am I? This is on me, for giving myself to him completely, and now… I don’t want to… I just need an answer this time, I don’t need… I don’t need an apology, I just need an answer, I need to… I curse myself, for falling in love with him without taking any precautions,” she took a deep breath, as tears were slowly falling down her face. “And yes sure, I wrote a script and I… Wanted to get back at him, but I never did, you know? And I never would, for that matter, because... This is on me, this is my punishment for falling in love with my biggest enemy, with a memory. And maybe this is… what we were supposed to be since the very beginning, you know?”

Harry only watched her as she sipped down the mini bottle.

“I regret falling in love with him,” she stated. “And it’s… so hard, because how can… you ever regret the one person that at some point you were the happiest to?” she asked, not expecting an answer, she had walked to the window to see the night sky that was slowly yawning into the morning. “And… It… Harry it makes no sense, because when I… When I looked into his eyes, I saw…I saw the world,” she still sounded full of hope, but just as she said each word, the hope was fading away. “But now it seems like all of it was a lie, a dream and I can’t believe how quickly it ended and how easily all of that broke it’s like the universe is telling me that I’m… I’m the fool, and I didn’t… I didn’t ask for much, and I… I can’t believe I’m waiting for his call,and he’s not calling me, Harry, why isn’t he… “ She took a deep breath as she tried to suppress a sob. “Was this his plan all along? To break me so I’d end up getting drunk on a hotel bar?” She wondered. “Because it makes no sense Harry, I… just last night I thought I wanted to spend my whole life with him,” she shook her head, staring at the ground. “That he was the answer to all my problems but I guess…He was my problem,” she sighed. “I was always supposed to lose him, because he’s never been mine, has he?” She asked to the night. Why would… why would he hurt me this way if not?” She was trying to figure out herself, blurting out every thought. “Why is he… Cant he see he is… was… everything to me? Can’t he understand that… I’ve…” She sat down beside Harry again and he only brushed her back. “And now I’m going through it, and it just makes no sense.” She let out a heavy breath. “And yes, I’ve done bad things, but this? Why did he have to fade away so quickly?” She looked up, hurt, her voice was breathy, and Harry had never heard her so broken. “And why is he not trying to apologize? And do I even want him to?” She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. “But god, I don’t want to go there again, I… This feels like that one time.” She hugged herself as she finally let out a quiet sob. “And now it slipped away, and it was so close, and it was so close, so…. Close… and did I not give him everything?” She licked her inner cheeks, taking a long pause, but Harry knew he wasn’t supposed to answer just yet. “It is that? Was I not enough? Is it that?”

Harry only stared at her, as he could see her mind being loud. She went quiet. But he knew that she had a million thoughts, like she always did.

“Maybe it’s that, “ she nodded slowly. “Maybe I’m boring, Louis had said it, hadn’t he?” Y/N scoffed slowly. “But… I don’t know? Was I supposed to give more?” She sat down on the one chair in the room and then turned quieter. “For me it was enough, but he was… never mine.”

Harry wondered if this was how Emma felt. Though he should be helping y/n, he had to wonder if this was how Emma felt. But they were different, y/n and Emma, but he guessed it was somehow similar.

“And now he… he took everything from me, he just… I’ll…” She couldn’t continue. “Harry how am I supposed… What am I supposed to do now? And yes I know I made mistakes by not wanting to talk, but what use would it have been if he was going to break my heart anyway, and why hasn’t he called?” She asked again and started at her phone and closed her eyes. “ I.. I should put my phone back in normal mode, but I know… “ she mumbled. “What if he… What if he goes and sleep with her and doesn’t care?” She asked. “And… Or is he doing this because of Tim?” she groaned. “I don’t… love Tim,” she stated. “and I’ve known it for a long time, and, though I tried to convince myself I should I never… “ She closed her eyes again, shaking her head. “It’s always been Tom and now it doesn’t matter because all he does is break me and I didn’t want to believe that and he.. “ She checked her phone. “He hasn’t called or texted and… Was this on purpose?” She asked, and walked through the room. “And I tried to adjust myself to this and I didn’t want to talk about it, because I thought..” She raised her voice. “if I ignore it long enough it’ll fade, and we can build us a happy ending and it’ll be alright, just me and him and…” she sighed. “And now it’s long gone, Harry, it’s long gone and now it’s not… I don't know, and I… I've never done anything to hurt him, and what about Tom? why did he have to...At least… Did he even try this time? Or was it… It’s I can’t believe this.” She plopped on her bed.

Harry plopped beside her.

“Tom loves you,” Harry said, because he was sure of that. “I don’t… understand this, this doesn’t sound…”

“Oh, no piss off, this is totally him.”

“He always… I guess, he became the villain he was supposed to be,” Harry explained.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“He just... “ Harry squeezed his eyes. “Look, he was always told that Tim was perfect, and he always ws the bad one, you know? And maybe he was told that long enough he became the villain.”

“But he’s not a villain for me,” she said. “Not this time, and even when I was writing the script I always saw him and… Didn’t I love him?” She sat up. “ Didn’t I show him that he is…”Tears were streaming down, she cleaned them up. “Gosh, why am I even crying?” She asked herself. “I… I… I didn’t expect him to hurt me, though I said that to James, I was scared yes, but not… I don’t know, I didn’t feel like myself because I don’t know, and I was scared it would end but not like this, and you don’t-”

“I don’t know, y/n he sabotages himself,” Harry explained, still on the bed, stealing the liquor from her hand and taking a sip.

She plopped back beside him. “But why does he? Why...I don’t even understand this. I… I am done with this.”

Harry turned to look at her. “Are you?”

“I don’t know. Was he getting back at me for the script?” She groaned. “Was he… angry that the first person I slept with was Tim?”

“I dunno, did he find out about you and Tim sleeping together?” He asked.

She shook her head. “Even if he did, that gives him no right to it. I .I can’t. “

“I know it doesn’t but this is Tom,” Harry stated matter-of-factly.

“That’s my point,” y/n took a deep breath. “Why is he like this? Why is he like that Harry?” she whined. “Why does he feel like even if I slept with TIm it gives him the right to hurt me? Why does he… He knows he fucking owns my heart then why the hell does she do that? “ she frowned. And then crushed the m&m’s. “He fucking decides to rip it off and crush it.”

“I wanted m&m’s.”

“Why can’t he… I didn’t… I didn’t sleep with Tim to hurt him, I slept with Tim to not feel like shit, because when I saw him… when I saw that picture with Cherry, he kissed her cheek like he used to kiss mine and I just…”She sighed. “I… what if... Maybe he does have feelings for Cherry and I don’t-

“He doesn’t.”

“The eyes he gave her-”

“They’re not the same eyes he gives to you, y/n,” Harry said. Though he really didn’t want to defend his brother, and though this was so shitty of his brother, something didn’t sit right with him.

“No, I don’t know,” y/n said.

Harry bit his lip. “I look...I don’t know, but, Tom is stupid okay and I don’t know why he would do this but I can assure you he doesn’t have any feelings for her.”

“Why is he doing this?” She asked. “because look, Emma?” she turned to him, and Harry turned to her to. “Emma did this because she wants your attention, she fucking wants to convice herself that she is supposed to be angry and she is doing this because she… I don’t know, because this is herself trying to tell you she’s better off without you, or that she wants you to fight for her, or-”

“Yes I know, she did this to show me how it feels,” Harry nodded.

“But Tom? Why the fuck is he doing that?” she grabbed a pillow and hugged it. “I never know why he does this? Even when we were young he used to do stuff that will always have me second guessing and now this?.”

“I wish I knew.”

Y/N shook her head. “And I love him. After all of this, I love him, “ she sounded tired. “But I—I won’t. This is why this hurts too much, this is why I regret falling in love with him so deeply because it wouldn’t have mattered. And I know I hurt him but he doesn’t know how I’ve felt, he doesn’t even—And fucking cherry, I’m her bloody cousin, why did she do that? And--- didn’t Tom say he didn’t want to fuck up this time? I had already dried my tears, and he said he wouldn’t fuck up, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

She sat up again. “Then why did he?” she was sad again. “All I asked was to be loved, and all I ever wanted was to feel loved, and not get into this darkness and I thought I didn’t have to fear him and.. He was so…” she was turning quiet. “warm and calm, and I was free, you know?” she sighed heavily. “I just wanted him to love me, that’s it, I didn't ask for anything else, to love me every single moment you know? I just wanted to... “She was crying. “I don’t know, and I thought he would. And I’m an idiot because I knew I’d need him until my last breath, but I can’t… believe he decided to murder me tonight.” She hugged her knees. “He assured me he wouldn’t want to hurt me this time, he said it, that my fears should be left behind me, and then why did he… use them as a weapon? Was it still a war? And… I don’t want to be lonely again. But everytime he breaks my heart I get lonelier.”

“You’re not lonely, though,” Harry said.

“I feel like it.”

“I don’t… know what to tell you,” Harry admitted.

“That’s a first,” y/n sighed. “You’ve always known.”

Harry bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t even let you…” She looked at him. “How do you feel?”

Harry shrugged. “Dunno, I feel like I’m… I deserve it you know, and I mean I’m-”

“You don’t, nobody deserves pain coming their way,” she said.

“Yet, we’re both here,” Harry took a deep breath. “And I know she’s always going to blame me for it. Maybe that’s why we both-”

“Why you’ve been avoiding me, yes,” y/n said. “And… Why I’ve been avoiding you as well.”

“We didn’t need to add more drama did we?” Harry scoffed. “Us hanging out would just-”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “But… does it matter?”

“Guess it doesn’t,” he sighed. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, honestly,” she said.

“And okay, this is going to sound- but it’s not meant to sound this way, but I hate you for falling in love with my brother because of all people...him?”

“Shut up.”

“Like, I don’t mean it in…” He sighed. “I wish I could give you advice but-”

“But you’re also loyal to him,” she sighed. “You can’t truly be on my side. “

“Oh, I am on your side,” Harry clicked his tongue. “I don’t understand why he is doing this,” he admitted. “I don’t… get it.”

“Don’t get it either,” y/n sighed. “And he hasn’t called.

“Think he will?”

“Hope he will,” she said. “Or maybe not,” she sighed. “Maybe not.”

“He… texted me,” Harry admitted.

Y/N looked at him.

“He asked if I was with you and if you were safe,” Harry asked.

“That’s it?”

Harry nodded and showed her the text. Nothing else. Y/N sighed.

“Want me to ask him anything?” He offered.

She did, for that matter. What the hell was wrong with him? For starters. “No,” she answered instead.

“No?”

She shook her head. “No.” Because, if he hadn’t asked, then it didn’t bother him. Why hadn’t he asked how she was doing or… Or, honestly why had-- No, of course he wouldn’t. No, because asking it on text… no. But why hadn’t he asked where they were?

Why hadn’t he come with yellow flowers? Or would he—the next day? And say it was all a prank?

“Emma texted me too,” y/n confessed. “Only asked if I was okay.”

“And what did you answer?”

“That I wasn’t.”

Neither of them had really acknowledged it. But eventually, they had fallen asleep, holding each other. In the most innocent way they could, just two best friends broken-hearted who didn’t know how to heal each other.

Eventually the both woke up, with not a tinge of guilt. Though maybe they should’ve. But they didn’t. Y/N had barely slept if she was honest, she kept waking over and over and checking her phone to see if he dared to call her.

Tom hadn’t called her.

At some point they both had woken up, y/n had explained a lot about what had gone before New York, after New York. Here in LA, before Tom arrived and how it had gone now he had. And things after Rome, before Rome.

Harry had talked about how his feelings had gone through with her, how eventually he had realized that he didn’t love her the way he had thought he had, or maybe he had. And how at some points he did still feel bitter about them not being able to be together. How his life had changed, and how much he had missed her, how he had seen her face at places where they used to have fun in. But how his mind came back to Emma.

How he understood that love wasn’t something easy to comprehend. And that at some point he did wish it had been y/n, because it would’ve been fun, and easier, not the mess they were both going with.

How Harry’s dreams had changed, he still wanted to go on adventures but they didn’t make any sense if Emma was there. And how he wished he could continue with more movies, but how he knew that their very best projects, they’d both, Harry and y/n, built together would never see the light. But how fun could it be?

He did wonder how things would be different had they done something, but both of them realizing they wouldn’t have worked out, because they… just were too similar or knew too much, and knowing too much leads us to one’s doom.

And they talked on how maybe with each other it would have been fun, and easy, but they simply weren’t meant to be.

Harry talked about Emma, how she was the one he smiled with, remembering those pair of high heels she loved to wear, and that lipstick she loved. But how stupid he was because he’s young, and how y/n was right and he shouldn’t have proposed that soon, but how couldn’t he? He knew it, Emma and Harry were meant to be. But now he blew it because after chasing the wrong one, he’d lost the right one. However, Harry knew that Emma and Harry were meant to cross paths again.

And Harry talked about how Emma was the one person who’d loved him no matter what, flaws and all, and how it felt like a kiss in the middle of the forest, but with a summer breeze. Daylight.

How he missed daylight.

He hadn’t had any since Emma was gone.

Y/N listened, and wished someone could ever talk about her some day. And it hurt y/n, just a little. Because she had said it: probably the only one who did was Tim. Because she knew Tom didn’t. Or she didn’t believe it at that point.

And then y/n explained how Tim had lied, or suppressed a truth. How she felt she’d used Tim, but how she was inexplicably drawn to him. But she guessed it was because she didn’t feel replaceable with him.

The sun had finally peaked through the room, and Harry and y/n didn’t want to go anywhere, but Harry had offered to go to her place and get her some clothes, and y/n had agreed. She wasn’t fond of the clothes she had been wearing the night before and now her face was still covered on the smudge makeup. Honestly her face was probably a representation of her own feelings. Dirty and messy and unfixable. She didn’t want to go back into her place because she didn’t want to run into Timmy, and she knew she would. And she really didn’t want to. Because honestly, her heart was not in the mood and she knew how it would go, Timmy saying that he told her so, that Tom was this and that. And Timmy would take her vulnerability and she would give in because he doesn’t make her feel like shit and that’s what she didn’t want.

Right now, even though this was all wrong, she did want to feel like shit so it could all boil up. And she didn’t want to hear Tim go over and over on how Tom was shit.

And yes he probably was but this. This was y/n not wanting to accept it, she needed to boil it up.

Harry had gone to y/n’s place, and y/n had painted Harry the picture, that probably Timothee would be there waiting up for her, she had said it:

“He’ll have fresh coffee and will be cooking breakfast waiting for me to arrive so he is the one to comfort me.”

Harry had never seen y/n like this, so knowingly. He had underestimated her, y/n was very aware of many things, and one of those things was Timothee, of course she knew that Tim would climb and move mountains for her, and she liked it because who doesn’t like being treated like an angel?

And y/n had been right, Tim did have fresh coffee when Harry had knocked on the door. Not breakfast, but Tim did have a cup for himself.

“Oh, Harry?” Tim had said with surprise.

“Did you really expect y/n?” Harry snapped harshly.

“I-well, no, honestly, thought you’d be Tom searching for her,” he admitted. “I… Is she okay?”

Harry didn’t like Timothée at that point. Because Harry didn’t know why but he felt like Tim had a lot to do with the events from the night before. Because after what he’d heard y/n say, Harry thought that Tim was probably ruthless and would do anything for y/n.

Harry didn’t know what answer to give to Timothee, because Tim was the enemy here, Harry knew. “She’s fine,” that’s what Harry had gone with.

“Oh.”

“I came to pick up her clothes,” Harry said. “I think-”

“She told me,” Emma had said, popping from her room. Harry had tried to avoid seeing inside, fearful that Josh would be there. He wasn’t. “Now come here, before you see the big mess waiting to happen.”

Harry glanced at Tim before following Emma into y/n’s room, he’d seen a pillow and a blanket on the couch. Emma took out some clothes, and then went to the bathroom, picked up her toothbrush, and packed it up all quietly for Harry.

Emma handed it over, “So you run to y/n?” She asked.

“I’m not-”

“You are, Harry, you chose her over-”

“I’m not choosing her over you,” Harry snapped. “I’m just---”

“You just what Harry?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Harry said. “You have you friend here, Tim,” he pushed. “She needs a friend and a friend who actually-”

“Who is in love with-”

Harry almost dropped the bag. “Look Emma I know I fucked up,” he said. “I was confused because I did have a crush on her and I mixed my feelings and I still love her and she’s my best friend but I realized that I never felt the way with her I felt about you, you were—are my everything,” he said. “You really are the only one I want, and you’re the onand I feel so stupid for letting you go, and I feel so stupid for breaking your heart and I’m dying because I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to bloody talk to you anymore, I’m---”He sighed. “Because you simply push me away and you just don’t—I know I did something bad alright? I know I was the one to—be wrong but I didn’t plan on it, I was so happy with you, you were the only fucking star on ym sky, okay? … you’re you’re … I know you feel like I want her and I know it, but Emma! we were engaged and I’m sure we were so happy and I curse both Tom and y/n because they didn’t talk and they didn’t solve it and look where it’s led them!” He snapped. “I… meanwhile I’ve tried to talk to you because I want something with you that will last, I want us to be transparent and I want you to be happy but if you’re happy with someone else I get it, and if you only kissed him to make me feel the way you feel I get it, I did something utterly wrong but I’m—I am just—confused because this is not you, or maybe I’m wrong and this is the most you you can be,” he sighed. “And I don’t know, you just want me out of your life or… I don’t-”

“I didn’t want you to be out of my life,” she said.

“I know, and I didn’t want to be either, but you’re really keeping me out and I get it, I’m sorry, you don’t understand how sorry I was, and I’ll regret it my whole life because I decided to let go of the one, but I was confused very confused, , and you’re just watching me as if I was a stranger, Emma, and I know I get no other chance but you don’t even listen to me, I don’t love her like you think I do, and I am I don’t know I feel like a stranger, to you, to y/n, and I—don’t like that.” Harry said. “And I get it, you were hurt and I will never stop blaming myself for it…. And I know I’ve been absent, but I—don’t know how to approach you, but I love you so, so much—you’re incredible Emma, you are this amazing person who doesn’t give a flying fuck about what everyone has to say, and that’s what I love about you among another million reasons, and you’re literally the only person that I want to share my happiness with and I want to build plans and chase dreams with but…. I—yes right now I’m gonna take care of y/n, because last night… She broke completely, okay? And… just like when… our engagement party, and Tim was there for you, and you are strong, I know it gives me no excuse but… I’m not doing this because-She’s my best friend, and I’m just trying to help her but I—I can't see her as anything but as a best friend and as the girl my brother is deeply in love with, and as the girl whose heart was absolutely shattered last night.”

Emma didn’t say anything.

“I really want to fix things with you,” he added. “And if you give me the chance, I’ll prove to you how much you mean to me, and if… If you if you think… If you want me to stay right now and not go, fine, I’ll do that. Because you’re my everything, Emma.”

Emma only nodded and handed him her plush frog, too. “She’s gonna need it,” she said.

“But can we talk, later?”

“Yes, now go, she needs you.”

With that Harry had a blessing to go, but when he had come back to the hotel room, he hadn’t found y/n.

Because y/n, as soon as Harry had left, she had left herself. Y/N had had time with herself, and the rage had boiled up, and sometimes rage is confused with bravery, and stupidity.

She’d gone to the flower shop, first. Aunt Eliza was behind the counter.

“Y/N, dear, what happened to you?”

“Didn’t Cherry tell you?” Y/N snapped, and then took a deep breath, knowing this was not to blame on her. “Sorry-I-”

“No, she didn’t come back home last night.”

And there it was again. That feeling. The tears. No, no, had this come to her worst nightmare again?

“She didn’t?” y/n just had to make sure.

“No,” Eliza said. “What happened?”

Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell her aunt, but she did anyway. “Your daughter kissed Tom.”

Eliza watched y/n as if she understood her state now, as if suddenly it all made sense. “I’m--sorry.”

“And she slept with him before she came here, yeah,” she added. “So-Yeah, I’m not exactly fond of her right now, I’m sorry,” y/n said.

“I... Don’t know what-”

“This ain’t your fault, no need to worry.”

“I didn’t raise-”

“I know, I know, look, I just… need some flowers, alright? I… these ones, I’ll take them, you can take them off from my salary-”

“No, no, take them, whichever you want, y/n dear I’m sorry sorry-”

“No, really, it’s okay,” y/n interrupted as she took a bouquet of mostly yellow flowers. It was pretty enough, but it didn’t matter, in all honesty.

And she left without giving any other explanation, probably the uber thought she was mental but y/n couldn’t care any less. She didn’t care that she was crying in the back of the car of an uber, because Tom still hadn’t called her and she had some idea why. How dare he?

And it hurt even more, and she felt emptier, but now she was also full of it.

Y/N had shown up to that place Tom had rented. And though she looked deplorable she didn’t even care because he had to see this, her state, this is what he’d done to her. And she had the right to make a scene.

He hadn’t been the one to open the door, for her own surprise, it had been James.

“y/N! Oh, you’re- Harry told me you’d be at a hotel-”

“Where the fuck is he?” Y/N snapped.

James backed away, knowing so damn well he shouldn’t mess with his sister.

“He’s in the shower,” he said. “I think he-”

“Fine,” y/n walked past her brother and started to make her way to the shower.

“Wait, wait, y/n, want to wait for him?” James suggested.

“No,” y/n snapped.

“He had a really bad night-”

“Oh,” Y/n stopped. “Did he now? Oh, what a shame I had such a fucking wonderful night!”

James took a deep breath and took his sister’s shoulders. “Y/N, it’s-”

“I don’t care James-are you on his fucking side? Is she here-?”

“What?”

“You know what I want to hear from him,” she stormed off, and James followed after.

“Y/N don’t you want to wait until-”

“I’ve seen his fucking dick James, I don’t bloody care!” She snapped, before running into the bathroom. Knowing damn well she was taking a risk of seeing someone she didn’t want to.

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iamanartichoke · 4 years ago

Note

Congrats on follower milestone! I greatly enjoy your presence on my dash with your thoughts and witty tags and all :) For the Loki writing prompt, here's a sort of idea or mood or emotion, very vague, but maybe you can make something of it, and if not, totally cool! Prompt: Mobius taking care of Loki.

@humbae Thanks so much for your kind words as well as the prompt! I kinda just took the "taking care of" idea and had Mobius do the bare minimum, bc it's angstier that way, but I hope you like it anyway.

Summary: Takes place immediately after the end of episode 1; Loki has a realization and Mobius kinda maybe cares. Word Count: 1460 Author’s notes: Please forgive the quality, I started this earlier today and wanted to post it before watching the finale, so I finished the last bit of it in a less-than-alert state, merp.

“What’s this?” Loki asks. He can’t keep the edge of suspicion out of his voice.

“It’s tea,” Mobius says, as if it’s obvious. He sets the red mug down in front of Loki. “What we normally do is drink it.”

The suspicion doesn’t leave him. Loki eyes the mug, wondering if he’d even be able to tell if Mobius had done something nefarious to it - but, there would be little point in Mobius going to the trouble of intervening in Loki’s “trial” and recruiting him to the TVA only to turn around and poison him so, despite himself, Loki picks up the mug and takes a cautious sip.

“Hope you like chamomile,” Mobius adds as he takes the seat across from Loki. “It’s all I could find.”

“It’s passable,” Loki says, after a longer sip. When was the last time he’d had anything to drink? He can’t remember; the blur of New York shifts too sharply into the shock of the TVA and his brain feels too muddled to grasp onto any specifics. There’s been a consistent twisting in his stomach for days; he doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s eaten, either.

Mobius is just watching him and Loki hunches his shoulders, a bit defensively. “What,” he says, setting down the mug.

Mobius shrugs. “You’re not the first Loki variant to come through here,” he responds. Before, when he’d been questioning Loki, everything about his posture had been straight and precise; now that the interrogation is over, Mobius has adopted a much more casual stance, leaning against the back of his chair with his legs slightly outstretched. “There’ve been a lot.”

“How many is a lot?” Loki’s mind is still spinning from the revelation that the rogue variant they’re hunting is another version of himself, but the idea of even more being out there just makes him feel slightly ill. There would be a crisis here, were Loki in a clearer headspace - something about how it could be possible for more than one version of himself to exist, and if those versions existed, what proof does he have that he, himself, in this moment, also exists? How does he know he is the real Loki? Is there a real Loki?

Apparently, he is in a clear enough headspace for a minor crisis. He wraps his hands around the mug, waiting for Mobius to answer.

“I don’t know,” is all Mobius says. “I’ve lost count, to be perfectly honest with you. You’re like a bad penny, you know - you just keep turning up. You’re a stubborn bastard, I’ll give you that.”

“Thank you.” Loki’s tone is icy. “So if there are so many other variants, why not prune me? What do you think I can do for you that they couldn’t?”

Mobius looks thoughtful for a moment before he shrugs. “Call it a hunch, I guess.”

Wonderful. Loki’s entire existence rests on this bureaucrat of a man’s hunch. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t find that particularly reassuring,” he counters. “How do I know you won’t simply prune me either once we find this other variant, or once I stop being useful to you?”

“What, whichever comes first?” Mobius’s lips tilt slightly upward. “I suppose you don’t.”

Loki slumps a bit in his chair. He’s still holding onto the mug and, for lack of anything else to do, brings it back to his lips. Chamomile, Mobius had called it. It tastes like honey, with just the slightest tinge of apples, and it makes Loki think of the fruit in Idunn’s orchard, how they melted on his tongue like sugar. He remembers dewy summer evenings, laying in the grass with Thor, each of them with a golden apple’s sticky sweetness coating their lips and teeth.

The back of his throat tightens and he focuses on the tea, blinking hard against the sudden sting of tears. Crying in front of Mobius is not something he wants to make a habit of.

Still - “In the desert, when your hunters set off those reset chargers …”

“They pruned the alternate timeline you created when you took off with the tesseract, yeah.” Mobius adjusts his position, straightening up and leaning forward, elbows on the table. “You - that is, the you that’s supposed to exist - never escaped. Your brother took you back to Asgard.”

“And the sacred timeline continues as it should.” The twisting in Loki’s stomach worsens, and it has nothing to do with hunger. “Which means I can never return to Asgard, because he’s already there.”

Mobius’s forehead creases a bit as he nods. He looks almost sympathetic. “You don’t have a place there, no,” he agrees.

A heavy silence falls over them. Loki doesn’t need Mobius to spell it out any further. Loki, the Loki he is right now, will never see Thor again. Nor his mother, or even Odin … but mostly, not Thor. His brother is the worst kind of gone, because he’s not dead, nor lost. He exists on the sacred timeline, forever separated from Loki, and none the wiser to Loki’s absence. He’ll never know that Loki is gone, because the correct Loki is still right where he should be - rotting in Asgard’s dungeons, perhaps, but home all the same.

Rage wells up inside of him, swift and cutting. He pushes away from the table and jumps to his feet so abruptly that even Mobius startles, but before he can do anything, Loki has hurled the red mug against the wall and it shatters, tea and glass shards clattering to the floor. “It isn’t fair,” he snarls; he pushes his hands through his hair, yanking hard at the strands yet the sting of it barely even registers. "That's not fair."

“Loki -”

Loki barely hears him. He drops his hands and clenches his fists; the rage is pressing against his throat, desperate for escape. He wants to scream. He wants to hurl magic in every direction. He truly wants to burn this place to the ground - the TVA, the timekeepers, and every person within it who is complicit in taking away entire realities with hardly a thought spared to the variants left behind.

He’s breathing hard. The trouble is, all of that anger has nowhere to go. Loki cannot bring himself to explode the way he wants to - with neither his magic nor the ability to set fire to the timekeepers’ hearts here and now, the only other option he’s got is to throw things, and he’s hurled enough chairs for today.

Closing his eyes, Loki turns in a circle, grabbing the back of his chair. Instead of throwing it, he leans forward, pressing all of his weight against it because he isn’t sure he can hold himself up. The effort it takes to keep from screaming is leaving him light-headed. Not Thor. Please, please don’t take Thor from me.

“Loki,” Mobius says again. Loki draws in a breath and lets it out slowly, and then opens his eyes and looks up. Mobius is hovering over him, but somehow he’s less dominating than he’d been before. He seems almost concerned - either that, or just plain tired. “Look, I get it. I get that you’re upset, but -”

“How?” Loki demands. His voice is hardly more than a growl. “The timekeepers made you. You’ve never lost anyone. You’ve never known anything besides this … this nightmare.” Frustrated, he pushes away from the chair and gestures broadly at the room around them. “Don’t tell me you get it.”

Mobius sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re right,” he agrees, “I suppose I don’t get it. But I can’t change what you’ve lost, either. All I can do is -”

“I know,” Loki cuts him off, and now he is the one who feels just plain tired. Just as swiftly as the rage had crashed over him, it was now receding again, leaving Loki feeling drained and so, so exhausted. “All you can do is offer me opportunity.” Not salvation. Not anything useful.

Instead of replying, Mobius just puts his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “Why don’t we start fresh tomorrow,” he suggests. “Okay? ‘Cause I can also offer you your benefits package, if you’re interested. Involves a hot meal and a place to sleep.” His lips quirk a little. “No offense, but you look like you could use both, like, yesterday.”

Loki eyes the other man. Mobius’s features blur a bit, and he realizes it’s because his eyes have welled up. He rubs them and then sighs and nods, giving in because what else is he to do? This is what he has been reduced to - powerless, with nowhere else to go, his entire existence contingent upon getting in - and staying in - Mobius’s good graces.

He’ll start with a hot meal.

#charlotte writes #follower celebration prompt series #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki tv series spoilers #mobius dick #loki + mobius (platonic)#validatemepls #NOW i am going to go watch the finale #wish me luck

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sweeethinny · 4 years ago

Text

I just want to be the one you love

Summary: "You need to stop rowing with Hestia." [...] "Look—bring her here. The password is 'caraway.' Have a bath. Ask her where she wants things to go after Hogwarts. See what she says. And stop snipping at her in private over unrelated things that you're not even mad about." Lily said.

[...]

At his side, Hestia shot him a glance torn somewhere between fondness and exasperation. "I said I'd be his girlfriend," she said before anyone could prompt her.

"And she suggested it. I didn't even have to ask." - Voyeur by @scriibble-fics

I hope Scriibble doesn't care that I tag her on so many things, sorry dear

---

Sirius felt a little nervous as he walked towards the prefect's bathroom, his palms sweating as if he were a 14 year old teenager about to give his first kiss. It was stupid to feel that way, but he couldn't help feeling it.

He had been fighting with Hestia like a dog and cat, neither of them would give the truce first, and that made them end up fighting over everything, even if it didn't make sense anymore. They started fighting over Sirius to find out that Hestia hadn't told him that the Slytherins had attacked her a few weeks ago, and now, he doesn't even remember anymore why they were fighting.

It was as if anything was capable of making the two of them explode with each other, they could barely spend more than an hour together without starting to scream, and Sirius blamed mainly the fact that things were getting worse with each passing day, they had joined the Order and it looked like the war was getting more and more real, getting closer and closer, and everyone seemed to be going out of their skin with the feeling that in less than a month they would be out of Hogwarts, and consequently out of the most protected place they had.

Or it should be like that, Sirius thought angrily, remembering the Mini Death Eaters' attacks that seemed increasingly excited to do whatever Voldemort told them to do.

'Can I come in?' Sirius asked at the bathroom door, he had already given the password, but he preferred to ask only for security, looking at the wall next to the door instead of the bathtub in the middle of the bathroom, where he could already hear the noises of Hestia.

'Yes.' Her voice was low, as if she were letting her guard down, which Sirius had also done.

First it was Lily who had gone to talk to him, telling him to talk to Hess, then it was James, who seemed a little more irritated by the idea that Sirius was being an idiot.

He also didn't like to fight with her, he hated it, Sirius had been unhappy since things started to fall apart. He missed being hugged to her, their conversations, making her laugh and blushing, Hestia sat on his lap to talk about her day, her hand in his hair, almost making him sleep with affection.

She was already inside the big bathtub, there were several bubbles around her, the sweet and Hestia smell in the air making Sirius a little dizzy, as it always did when her smell was on his clothes. Her hair was already wet, running down her back, one or two strands stuck to her forehead or her cheek, making her look adorable. He could see her bra strap, light pink, and Sirius had to inhale a good deal of air when his imagination worked on the image of Hestia wearing pink.

'Hi.' He was the first to say, standing in front of the bathtub, James' invisibility cloak on his arm along with the clean clothes. Hestia approached the edge, her eyes locked on his.

'Hi.' The girl's cheeks were pink, as they usually were when she was hot, but there was that part in particular, which Sirius noticed turned red whenever she was embarrassed, near her nose, outlining her cheek perfectly. He knew that if he put his hand there, it would be hotter than the rest of her face. It was as if Hestia had a fever whenever she was having an extreme emotion.

It was adorable.

'Aren't you going to come in?' She asked, arms crossed on the edge to keep her balance, Sirius didn't need to see to know that her feet didn't touch the floor in that part of the bathtub.

'Of course,' He went over to the benches there, looking over his shoulder to see her. 'Do you want me to come in?' For some reason, Sirius felt doubly more careful, now that he was trying to make things work, with his guard down. He was not ashamed to show this more insecure side to Hestia.

'Don't be as if I never saw your white ass,' Hestia broke free from the edge, pushing herself back and floating in the middle of the bubbles, making him catch little glimpses of the pink panties she wore. 'Why would we come here if not to get into the bathtub?' The two laughed, Sirius had to turn again before he looked too much at her shiny legs. ‘Don’t tell me you’re ashamed?’

'I just wanted to make sure.' He took off his shirt, then his pants, taking care to keep everything neatly folded, next to his clean clothes.

'Well, I'm telling you to come in, the water is delicious,' Hestia said, but Sirius thought he heard her voice tremble a little, and then the sound of the water of what should be her turning her legs inside. He turned around, wetting his fists and the back of his neck, before jumping in, keeping his eyes open to swim close to Hestia, which was not a smart move, as he can better see how she looked in her pink panties and how she really couldn't put her feet on the floor.

Sirius felt his heart melt with love for her.

He planted his hands on her hips before he emerged, holding her close to him, with the excuse that it was so that Hess didn't have to move her feet like crazy to stay balanced, and not because Sirius felt he needed her close before that something inside him would break.

'Hi.' She said this time, the faces of the two were close enough for them to almost touch their noses.

Her dark brown eyes were perfect, seen up close, it was like seeing precisely the color nuances of a molasses, or a caramel, Sirius had not yet decided.

'Hi, again.' Hess smiled, not that big smile where her eyes got those little wrinkles on the side, but still, it was a smile. 'I missed you,' he admitted, clasping his hands on her hips a little, just because he missed it.

'We saw each other two hours ago ... Or was your mind already eaten alive and you forgot?' She smiled, and this time showing her teeth, and her cheeks took on even more color, especially in that part near her nose.

'You know what I meant.' He wasn't even ashamed to look like a fool in love. 'And my mind was eaten alive, yes, but it was because of you.'

'Me?' Her hands touched his arm, and Sirius didn't even realize that Hestia hadn't touched him yet, until she did. He felt breathless at the sensation of her warm palms holding his biceps, as if to help gain balance. 'I did nothing.'

'For that reason,' Sirius sighed. ‘Sorry for all the fights, I was a little crazy just to imagine someone hurting you.’

'You shouldn't have gone after them, especially after I asked you not to do that.'

'I know, but you understand why I went, don't you? I wouldn’t sleep peacefully thinking that- ’

‘But I asked you not to do it, didn't I?’ Her eyes didn’t seem to get that darkened color of when she got mad, as it happened every other time they argued about it. ‘They don’t deserve all that attention.’

'Doll ...' Sirius sighed in defeat, hiding his head in her neck, intoxicated by her sweet scent. 'I would kill someone if I knew that person hurt you,' he admitted, because it had been his will, if it weren't for James and Remus pushing him into an empty room, trying to get Sirius to think with his head and not with heart.

Unlike the time he dided that prank with Snape, which he didn’t think about and didn’t imagine what could happen to Rem, and all that stupid idea involved, Sirius was aware this time, he probably would have done a lot worse than just playing those Slytherins into a house with an uncontrolled Werewolf. He should remember to thank Remus and James for stopping him.

Sirius was embarrassed for that, after the anger stopped burning inside his chest, and he saw that he had ruined everything, Sirius wanted to cry for the first time in a few good months. Perhaps the last time he had felt so lost and empty, had been when he ran away from home, on vacation last year.

'I know how to take care of myself, you need to trust me.' Hestia hugged him, her head lying on his shoulder, allowing Sirius to have more access to her neck.

'I really trust, I just ... Doll,' Sirius lifted his head, looking into her eyes, wanting her to understand how deeply he loved her. Saying those words was too difficult. 'I trust you, I know you can take care of yourself, I know that, I just ... Hess, I would rather be tortured, than have to see someone hurt you. I would die before I allowed any of my friends or you to be hurt.' Sirius hoped that Hestia understood that she was in a category apart from his friends, not because she was not his friend, but because she was so much more than only that.

'Siri ...' She looked at him as if Sirius were a puppy, her arms wrapped around his neck, her brown eyes never leaving his. 'Don't say that, I never know how to answer.' This time it was Hestia who hid, giving an impulse upward and wrapping her legs around his hips, running away from his eyes when she hid her head in the curvature of his neck.

Sirius wanted to laugh, but the feeling of love that surrounded him when he felt her holding him, looking small in his arms, made him just kiss her head, his eyes closed to support the feeling of his expanded chest with the swirl of emotions.

‘You don’t have to answer, just because you still want to stay here with me, it’s already a good answer.’ He admitted, because it was true.

Sirius was afraid, in the middle of everything, when Hestia moved away from him, when they started fighting and looking a lot like what Prongs and Evans were like at the beginning of the year, and even last year. He didn't like to argue with Hestia, he didn't like fighting with anyone he cared about, but she mostly.

'But I want to, because I feel like I never answer you, and ... Just give me a minute,' she murmured, still clinging to him.

'Are you going to break up with me?' Sirius joked, even though his chest tightened at the thought.

He walked to the stairs, holding Hestia firmly by the thighs, keeping her in his lap as he sat on one of the steps, keeping both of them under the hot water as much as he could.

'I don't think I would be like this with you, if I wanted to break up.' She looked at him, a lovely smile on her lips. 'And it would be a little difficult to be firm when I'm on your lap.' Her cheeks came back with that pink tone that he was in love with, and Sirius laughed at the feeling of happiness that invaded him.

'I'm happy that my lap prevents you from thinking straight.' He straightened up on the bench, not because he wanted to make her realize that it was also difficult for him to think straight when she was sitting there, of course.

'Don't be an idiot,' Hestia laughed, small wrinkles appearing in the corner of her eyes, as she hit his arm, making Sirius laugh too. 'Stop moving, I need to think.'

'Make yourself comfortable, Doll, I'll be here as long as you want.' He leaned on the other step, trying to gain some distance from Hestia just to be able to breathe and think with his head up, keeping his eyes in the foams around them. Sirius knew he would collapse if he paid attention to how pink the color was on her, and how her skin was reddened from the heat of the water.

'I've been thinking,' Hestia started, and he looked at her. ‘I don’t want to be fighting with you and,’ She looked away from him, around the bathroom, as Hestia always did when she needed to think or was embarrassed. 'I know I said other times that I didn't want to, but, I think I was just scared, you know? There is a war out there, I already lost my mum, but at the same time, I don't want to lose you, and just thinking about losing you I almost go crazy. I didn't want you to go and talk to the Slytherins because I don't want them to realize how easy it is to affect you ... I don't want that if you-know-who needs to find a weak link in the Order, they know about you. Do you understand?’ He nodded, resting his hands on her hips again. ‘I like you a lot,’ Sirius smiled, the ego swelling inside his chest, thinking about all the other times that he had been the first to say that, hoping she would return.

'I like you too, a lot,' Sirius said, just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut when Hestia was declaring herself to him.

'Before you arrived, and these past few days, I was thinking about something you said a while ago but I said no, and ... If you still want me to be your girlfriend ...' She bit her bottom lip, and now her cheeks were completely flushed, even her temples looked pink, which was lovely, since Sirius didn't remember seeing her so flushed even when they had sex for the first time.

‘Are you asking me to date you?’ He could only be dreaming, honestly.

'I am.' Hestia rolled her eyes when she noticed the smile that was growing on his face, and Sirius felt that his face could tear at any moment. 'Do you accept being my boyfriend?' She joked, taking his hand on her hip, as if to put a ring on his finger.

'I don't know, I need you to ask Mia and Mont first, you know, out of respect and everything ... And I want flowers, a dozen at least.' The two laughed, but Hestia didn't let go of his hand, kissing his fingers and placing his hand on her cheek, supporting her face there. Sirius missed those moments of affection, warmed him up in a way he had never felt before. 'Of course, I accept. It’s also hard to think when you’re sitting on my lap.’

'Oh, I already know how to convince you to do the things I want, then.' Hestia leaned forward, bringing them closer, and they noses touched again. Sirius realized that they had not kissed until now.

'It is not difficult to convince me, Doll, I am all yours.' He closed his eyes, lost in feeling.

Hestia said nothing, preferring to close their distance and kiss him, calmly first, as if it were the first time again, the two of them still trying to understand how it worked, how they liked it, carefully.. It was he who attacked her most willingly, intoxicated with love, wanting more than anything in that life to kiss her forever, Sirius circled her waist, pulling Hestia closer, while the girl's delicate hands cupped his face.

He should remember to thank Lily tomorrow.

And to shout to the world that Hestia Jones was his girlfriend.

#sirius black #sirius x hestia #marauders #padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #marauders era fanfic #hestia jones

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midoriyashotos · 4 years ago

Text

Anguish of the Quirkless

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shoto (could be platonic... though I ship them a lot lmao)

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shoto; MENTIONED - Bakugo Katsuki

Summary: Izuku doesn’t explode.

But burn after burn, he can’t take it anymore.

AO3 / Fanfiction

A/N: I had no reason to write this other than the fact I’ve been really angry and I needed to write something down.

I guess this is technically my first Tododeku fic? But like, it isn’t the focus here, so interpret it the way you want (if you can). I hope this didn’t turn out to be too OOC, though.

Please be aware of the tags and disclaimers below. Be safe. <3

TRIGGER WARNINGS - childhood trauma, past bullying/abuse and injury

*NOT BAKUGO/BAKUDEKU FRIENDLY!

Izuku doesn’t explode.

If anything, he’s more than scared of explosions. The explosions that silence him, that burn his tongue and his arms and legs, and the notebook of his fanboyish train of thought. The blasts that keep happening no matter how far away he is.

So no, he doesn’t explode. He probably can’t.

Though every time he stares at the blond spikes of his classmate, Izuku is sickened by a cocktail of years of combustions.

Maybe he does admire the beauty of the explosions when far away. Depending on them, they can actually be quite beautiful when done for the greater good. But when he’s so near, to try to reach them, Izuku gets injured. It’s probably his fault to begin with.

But even with patience and care, Izuku is always exploded back to where he’s been stuck in since he was four.

Izuku is always behind Katsuki. He can’t go around him and walk away. He can’t push him aside, he can’t as much as talk to him. Katsuki will forever be a wall, a minefield that will remain activated until the end of time.

And most importantly, Izuku can never explode back.

He hates explosions, after all.

The flaming blend of feelings, however, reach his mind at times he should be feeling okay.

The image of himself exploding Katsuki, of yelling at him, beating the crap out of him sickens the young hero to no end.

But it replays in his head still, even when they’re not fighting and instead having fun with their other classmates. Izuku stares at Katsuki for mere seconds and the thoughts come to him. The freckled boy swallows it all back, until it comes to haunt him at night. Until the burns sting his arms and his heart.

Izuku has tense nights, yet he never explodes. Ever.

You’d think Izuku would be happy here. He is happy, though, to be where he’s dreamed of for so long.

But each day that passes, he seems to get worse, he’s sick and tired and angry, and the combustions are closer to his heart. The fantasies become more violent, they’re disturbing. Izuku stains his hands, massacring the remaining of blond hair and hateful red eyes.

Izuku could never take blood from someone. It’s awful – he’s being awful. What would others think? What would everyone else think? All Might, his mother, his friends?

Izuku knows he can cry, but what about the rage? What about the ticking bomb inside him? The bomb that might be close to destroying all around him?

He can’t let anyone see.

Least of all Katsuki.

Thankfully, U.A. owns several gymnasiums for the students to train. Few, though, are somewhat left aside due to the new ones, but they don’t really close them. His classmates don’t seem to use them either, as far as he’s concerned.

Izuku finds the classic training tools, including several, big punching bags – different from those you see in common gyms, obviously. They’re able to take up a lot more damage, useful for physical-focused quirks.

He prepares and attacks. Holding it back, Izuku knows to be careful, to protect others. He hates explosions. He hates hurting others.

(All everyone has ever done was hurt him. Why? He was powerless. Quirkless. Deku.)

(That’s why he reclaimed the name, to transform it into someone who could be trusted, someone who could never hurt.)

Izuku kicks, dodges, as if in a real fight. He gives the bag mercy. Probably unnecessary.

(No one gave him mercy.)

(Midoriya Izuku, a boy who could never do wrong, who did nothing but exist.)

(He was exploded like no one ever was.)

The boy’s hands shine red with One for All, as do his eyes. The punching bag absorbs the power, becoming harder to punch and overcome. Izuku continues to spare it, to no avail.

(No matter what he does, he’ll continue to be blasted on the face.)

(Whether he’s powerless or not. The explosions will punish him until he’s gone.)

It’s then that the bag’s energy turns against him and blows him away, Izuku falling back and failing, once again.

It’s all too familiar.

Izuku roars.

He advances with his all, at the same speed as Gran Torino’s, but with a rage unknown to others. A rage from no hero. Heroes don’t feel hate, only towards evil – yet never, never to this extent. With revenge comes nothing. No hero should be selfish.

(This doesn’t come from a hero. It comes from… a boy? A monster?)

And Izuku is attacking the bag with no barriers holding him back. The second time it attacks, Izuku doesn’t let himself fall again. He returns at full speed and destroys the bag. He’s yelling this entire time, his throat hurting yet he’s far from quitting.

“WHY?!” Izuku demands from the bag. “WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

As always, he gets no answer, only blows and ignorance. And he’s punching it again.

The red of the bag infuriates him, it’s all he sees, and he wants to eradicate.

All those years, all that time never fighting back, never looking for solutions after years of rejections; they all come back to stab him again.

You’re useless.

Pathetic.

You need to deal with it.

“You RUINED MY LIFE!” Izuku screams, eyes shut but red, dams overflowing. “AND YOU DON’T EVEN CARE!”

Despite his cries and punches, they’re not moving, they’re not listening. When have they ever? When?

“I HATE YOU!” Izuku yells, his most disliked words. He’d never say to anyone.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“I

HATE

YOU!!! ”

CRASH!

He yelps at the force thrown back at him. Smoke enters his nose, painful coughs echoing.

When Izuku looks back, he gasps without making a sound.

He didn’t destroy just one bag – it fired back and damaged the other ones, now abandoned on the floor.

And even then—

Izuku growls and punches the floor, this time without any power left.

He’s still burning.

It doesn’t matter. It never matters.

Now everything smokes and suffocates him, and he’s crying the most he’s ever did.

That’s why he hates explosions.

Izuku doesn’t go to Recovery Girl, nor does he tell anyone. He hopes Aizawa-sensei never finds out what he’d done. He looked for cameras and, thankfully, found none.

He lies to his friends he trained in the woods and got a little ahead of himself. As a response, Uraraka tells him to be careful and Iida insists Quirk training should be balanced for him, as a hero in training. Two important statements, of course.

Todoroki, however, observes.

It’s the most he does. Todoroki watches and sees all, barely saying much. He reads people like no one else does. He was the first to realize something would go wrong with Iida, when the latter had wanted to seek his brother’s almost assassin.

This is different, though. So much different.

Izuku ignores it the best he can.

Late at night, he can’t sleep. The green-eyed boy sneaks in the kitchen, to grab some tea to make. His classmates seem to have healthy sleep schedules, especially when exams are out of the scene.

So slow steps take him off guard, and Izuku hides his arms under his sleeves.

“Midoriya.”

He sighs deeply. “Oh, Todoroki-kun… it’s just you. What’s up?”

Todoroki shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh. Me neither.”

“Hm.”

Todoroki is doing it again, he can tell. Watching him. (Judging.)

Izuku hates being watched – he’s watched the entire time.

The tea doesn’t take much longer to be ready, so Izuku barely bats an eye to Todoroki and makes his way to the stairs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he mumbles.

“Wait, Midoriya—”

“What ?”

Izuku regrets the moment he hisses, but he’s so tired.

“Just…” his classmate hesitates. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Todoroki’s tone has… softened.

Izuku doesn’t turn around.

“… Good night, Todoroki-kun.”

The days go by like usual. It’s like nothing happened. No one has found out, or so he hopes.

Todoroki hasn’t talked to him since that night. Or well, Izuku tries to avoid looking at him for too long in the first place. They have lunch together with the rest, but there’s no direct contact at all.

Todoroki isn’t the kind of person you can make excuses. He reads into your tone, he knows something is wrong. While Izuku’s relationship with him has definitely improved since the Sports Festival and Stain, he still finds that aspect of him a little intimidating. Because Todoroki, in contrast, is hard to read most of the time.

Izuku might as well be avoiding him. Of course, he’s polite when Todoroki has a question or when he asks for a favor. Though he rejects the suggestion they train together in the next day. Mostly, because Izuku’s wounds still sting, and he refuses to go to the infirmary.

At last, Izuku finds himself going to the old gymnasium, with no intention to seethe like before, even if the urge screams in his brain. It looks… the same, on the outside. As for the inside…

Instead of the gray smoke and destroyed reds, Izuku stops as soon as he catches white strands connected to wine, fire red. A fire that doesn’t explode, but fire, nonetheless.

Izuku’s veins fill with One for All, and before he goes Full Cowling to get as far away as possible, he’s less than lucky to expose himself.

“Midoriya?”

Nononononono—

Even though Todoroki isn’t using his Quirk, Izuku feels like he’s frozen by his giant ice spikes, caught to explain himself.

Why on earth is Todoroki here? Does he also know this spot? Oh, of course. Todoroki often trains alone but Izuku never knew where. Oh my god.

There are no words shared or spoken, least of all whispered. Izuku can’t bring himself to look up. There’s only shame to be shared. No one was supposed to find out and yet he just revealed himself. Stupid. Idiot!

A step.

“Midoriya…”

Izuku shakes his head.

“I know what you’re going to say.”

Todoroki stops. “What?”

“… that I’m supposed to be a hero, right? That I shouldn’t have done this? I- I know I shouldn’t have.” Izuku clenches his jaw and his fists, to contain the trembling rage. “I shouldn’t be angry.”

The fallen punching bags stare.

“But I didn’t know what to do with this anger. It only kept growing and- and it keeps growing inside of me, these thoughts, this scream in my throat,” Izuku spits out without much thought. “I’ve been hurt my entire life and I hate- I hate hurting people back, I hate wanting to hurt them, but I hate them, too, I hate-!” For a moment, he bites back the poisonous name, yet he can’t take it anymore, he’s tired of being silenced by the explosions.

“… I hate Kacchan. I hate that he always explodes me in the face, I hate that he used to go after other kids, too. He always explodes and hurts people, and he doesn’t give a shit.” Izuku’s tone is wet, soaked with weight. “He doesn’t give a shit about me, he still hurts me no matter what I do, and I’m sick of it. And god, all I want is to punch his fucking face and scream, because he never cared about making me cry or burning me at all, he- he doesn’t care! And I don’t know why I still do, why I even try to communicate with him! Nothing I do is enough for him!”

Izuku observes the multiple layers of old wood under his feet, each second finding new details, new splinters.

“This is why I don’t explode. Why I never burst out. I-I don’t want to hurt anyone… but I’m still so angry, Todoroki-kun. I’m only feeling worse than before.” The freckled teen pathetically dries his drowned face. “It’s like nothing is ever going to get better.”

The temperature is a bitter cold, despite the sun outside.

Izuku cries like that boy he’d known in Middle School, the one that would weep to himself in the shadows after getting burned on the face.

“W-What should I do?” He asks to no one.

It’s, again, a question without an answer.

Except…

His arms are taken by two hands that slowly pull up his sleeves, revealing the wounds from the hazard. The hands brush against his blistered skin as gently as possible. One hot, the other cold, but equally mindful.

“I think…” Todoroki whispers, “you need someone.”

Izuku’s face is close to the piercing gray and blue eyes, the ones who always read him… but not in judgment, he realizes. They read each sentence, each word of himself and take it to their heart, hopefully to come up with a meaningful response.

“Because then… who will protect you from the explosion?” Todoroki questions, his right hand reaching Izuku’s left.

The question is one he’s never considered. Izuku makes sure no one gets hurt, and maybe he’s successful at that, yet…

Todoroki’s face is close enough for their heads to touch, some of his red and white bangs touching Izuku’s forehead.

“It’s okay to be angry, Midoriya.”

“You’re… not mad at me?”

“Why would I be?”

“I don’t know,” Izuku gulps, “I feel… disgusting.”

“I understand. But you’re not disgusting. You were hurt.”

Izuku’s mouth quivers. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

Todoroki’s hands move from his arms to his shoulders, pulling him forward. Izuku shivers.

He’s…

Todoroki has never hugged him before.

Sure, they’ve gotten so far as friends. But after all this time, they’ve never touched each other; least of all Todoroki, who is, reasonably, a more reserved person.

The hug is far from awkward, nonetheless. It’s… good. Izuku has never been hugged like this. Even with the crime scene of his anger right there for Todoroki and everyone else to see… the red-and-white-haired boy chooses to hold him.

(After all, he’s also a boy. A boy afraid of his thoughts. Afraid while no one knows.)

Izuku returns the contact, his face somewhat under Todoroki’s chin.

“I’m sorry Bakugo is a piece of shit.” He adds quietly, “Well, more than he already is.”

That manages to attract a miserable laugh.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

Izuku hums, not up to protest as he melts in his touch. He could never have imagined Todoroki to be this… comfortable.

The permanent smell of smoke and dust does eventually bother him, so Izuku suggests, “Want to get out of here?”

“Sure.”

And they leave the gymnasium behind, hopefully their secret will be left alone.

Todoroki takes Izuku to a tree, the leaves green like the latter’s hair. There’s enough of a shadow to cover them from the sun, from the burning flames far away. Todoroki helps a little with the burns, his ice the most soothing Izuku has felt.

Until the sun sets, their hands are intertwined, scars only they know.

#tododeku #midoriya izuku #todoroki shoto #todoroki shouto #anti bakugou #fanfiction #my hero academia #lotus writes #abuse tw #bullying tw #vent fic

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dre6ming · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 576 times in 2022

That's 535 more posts than 2021!

128 posts created (22%)

448 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blurredcolour

@burninlovebutler

@bcofl0ve

@blainesebastian

@elvisabutler

I tagged 162 of my posts in 2022

#austin butler - 79 posts

#austin butler x reader - 71 posts

#baz luhrmann elvis - 66 posts

#elvis fans - 65 posts

#elvis songs - 62 posts

#austin butler smut - 62 posts

#austin butler elvis - 61 posts

#elvis film - 61 posts

#elvis biopic - 60 posts

#austin butler fic - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 59 characters

#i don’t think i’d get on my knees for many people out there

My Top Posts in 2022:

Masterlist

Fluff ☾

Angst ♞

Smut ✡︎

Click here to be added to the tag list

Austin Butler/Elvis Presley

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211 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Our very last kiss

Masterlist

To be added to the tag list click here

Part II - I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+, unclear consent, depression, anxiety, cursing, medication use, crying….oh I hope that’s it~let me know if I missed something

Word count: 4400

"Let me tell you the story of how I got here. How I was stupid to believe. Stupid to let myself go. Stupid to love. Stupid, stupid, stupid, so FUCKING stupid"

It started so simple and cliché, because it started with him smiling at you.

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251 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

I thought you quit

“I stayed there” series -part I

Pairing: Austin Butler x Fem Reader

Warning: smoking, swearing, pda, fluff

Plot: Austin gets back on a bad habit due to his stress caused by the Elvis auditioning. You try to explain to him that he needs to relax and take care of himself. Soon you’re crying and your heart is shattered

Masterlist here all parts are here

Part 2 here

To be added to the tag list click here

Word count: 1700

The cool autumn breeze glides through your tied up hair, making the loose strands brush you face. You sit on the bench in the empty park, legs over your boyfriends and kindle in hand. You enjoy times like this, when it's quiet and you get to just be with him, it's rare and it's oh so sweet. As you read lost in your book, Austin speaks, but you don't look at him too absorbed into the paragraph in front of your eyes. "So what do you want to do tonight?" He ask. You shrug your shoulders, not really carrying about it, as long as tonight is spent together you'll have a good time regardless of what you were doing. "I don't know, maybe open some wine, watch some tv..." you say absentmindedly while rubbing your hands together to get them warmer.

You lift your eyes up when you feel Austin move and you notice him pulling out a cigarette and placing it in between his lips. Before he gets a chance to light it, you snatch the lighter from his hand and hide it behind your back. "I thought you quit" you say giggling at his dumbfounded expression. "I did!" He argues back cigarette still between his lips. "Aha sure baby, you did!" You bite back as he leans over you trying to take the lighter from the hand that hides behind you back. "Come on now baby, it just one!" He whines, frustrated at not being able to reach your hand. Now both his arms hug you and you have to take a deep breath to keep yourself grounded. Blue eyes staring into your (e/c) ones, lips plump and read from the cold keeping the cigarette to the corner of his mouth. Your right hand reaches up and take the cigarette out of his mouth. "(Y/n)!" Austin pouts in a warning tone at you. "Kiss me and maybe I'll give it back."

He smiles, licks his lips and leans in, soft, warm lips touching yours. His hands grab your waist and you shiver at the feeling of his big palms splayed on your back. He licks you bottom lip and with a pleasured sigh you open up for him. He tastes like coffee and burned sugar, the taste of him fogging your brain. Your right hand holding the cigarette, quickly drops it on your lap and your left hand holding the lighter places it on the bench. Now both of your hands are free to tangle in his black hair. He'd dyed it a week ago when he started sending in audition tapes to Baz , for the role of Elvis Presley . Tapes for which he started to prepare three weeks ago.. You liked it, but you love his caramel colored hair a lot more, but he insisted he had to dye his hair for the auditioning process, so he could feel more in character. He was livid about the role, he wanted it so bad he barely slept trying to study Elvis as much as he could. He was constantly watching Elvis movies, clips , listening to his songs, talking in his voice. It was nice to see his dedication, but it started to turn into an obsession. It's why he probably started smoking again to get himself to calm down and unwind.

Your tummy flutters as you scratch his scalp with your nails, deepening the kiss. He moans in your mouth and before you get to carried away, he pulls back placing the cigarette back in between his lips and lighting it with the lighter he stole from behind you, while you were busy getting lost in him. Victory can be read on his face as he puffs the cigarette and lets the smoke out through his mouth and nose. "I'm sorry baby, I promise it's just this one. I swear." He places one hand on his heart, bringing the cigarette back for another smoke. "Sure" you say folding your arms over your chest. Slowly you get you feet down from his lap, tuck some of your hair behind your ears, grab your kindle, put it you back and get up, walking away.

Austin is quick to follow you, but you only walk faster. To no avail since he's got long legs and you don't wanna cause a scene running away from him. "(Y/n), wait, baby!" He grabs your elbow and stops you in your tracks. You spin to look at him, but when you see that he still has the cigarette in his mouth, you look away. "I want to go home." Looking at the ground you play with your feet, not liking the way he hovers over you, his height an advantage over you. "Just cause I wanted to smoke one fucking cigarette?" Austin brushes a hand through his hair and looks exasperated at you.

It's not the cigarette, sure you care for his health and you want him to quit for his own good, but it's not what got you so bothered. "It's not the cigarette.." you say in a low voice barley above a whisper. "Then what is it?" He asks inpatient to know. You chew the inside of your cheek and he turns away from you, throwing his hands in the air, annoyed with your attitude. "No, cause it's been weeks now that you've acted like this, I do something or say something and you shut me out, punishing me for something. What is it!?" his voice gets louder and tears gather in you eyes, but you blink them back. You know what it is, you just don't want to say it and be a jerk.

"Say it, god damn it!" He pushed and that's it for your tears to start running down your face. His face softens, he goes to the near by garbage bin and puts out his cigarette. Austin comes back to you and hugs you. You keep your arms folded over you chest and rest your head on his chest. He lets out a shallow breath, running a hand up and down you back soothingly. "What's wrong baby? Talk to me!" He's now begging, your heart breaks for him and you close your eyes. "I-, you just.." you stumble over your words.

"I what?" He's not angry or annoyed now, just scared of what you'll say. "You just, you aren't you anymore..." your voice is so quiet, that for a second he thinks he heard it in his head and you hadn't actually spoken to him. "What?" He can't believe what you just said, how is it that he's not himself anymore. "You're losing yourself in this role and you're just in the process of auditioning for it. What happens if you get? Hm? Am I supposed to start liking to date a replica of Elvis Presley?" You exit his embrace and take a few steps back. He's stuck, frozen in place, he expected anything but this.

"That's not fair, you know how important it is for me!" He looks like he's the one about to cry now. "You don't get it, how could you? All you do all day is sit with your head buried in those stupid books and complain about how hard med school is. Just fucking drop out already!" The steps you take back cause you to stumble on a rock and fall on your ass in the wet grass. You're mute, you can't say a single thing. He blows out more air out of his mouth and doesn't bother to try lift you up. You hug your knees to your chest and cry softly. Then you feel his hand on you knee and you flinch away from his touch. "(Y/n), baby..." you wipe your face and slowly get up.

"You don't sleep anymore and when you do you have nightmares. You don't eat, just sit all day, every day for the past 3 weeks and watch him, listen to him, talk like him, you're killing your self for it" he looks away and listens to you, every word being another slap to his face, because every word is true. "Well it's my job, (Y/n), what do you want me to do about it?" You come close to him and take his head in your hands forcing him to look at you. It breaks him to see the tears that don't seam to stop running down your face, knowing he made them come out in the first place. "Your not listening to me, I just want you to relax a bit, you can't see what a tool this auditioning process took on you, but I can" he lost weight and his hands shook with anxiety almost all the time, dark circles paint his eyes, that are now bloodshot read holding back tears. Austin shakes his head and takes your hands away from his face. You shake your head closing your eyes, ready for his next sharp words.

His nose brushes against yours, you feel his soft lips on yours and this time he tastes like cigarettes and salt. You don't kiss him back and he notices right away, so Austin pulls back. "I think we should break up!" He says. Your heart feels like it was hit by a wrecking ball and you can't breathe. Your vision starts to blur. Heart beating in your ears, you get away from him. "Ok" it's all you say as you walk. You drove here in his car, your apartment is an hour away from where you are now, but he doesn't offer to drive you and you won't ask him.

By the time you get to your home, the tears have dried, but the heartache stayed. You unlock your door and get in. For the next hour as you get yourself ready for bed, you feel drunk on the pain. He was you first boyfriend and he had promised to respect you, what he said, what he did, was anything but respect. Grabbing you phone, you unlock it and shoot him one last message, before blocking the number.

"See you on the big screen, Elvis. Hope it was worth it!"

258 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Stage fright

The fright series ~part I

Part II - ‘bed fright’ here

Pairing: Austin Butler!Elvis x fem reader

Warnings: cursing, smut, oral(f receiving) fingering, semi public sex, ( that’s all I hope)

Plot: Elvis met you working on his ‘68 comeback show, he feel for you instantly, at a celebratory party for the special he makes a move and you 2 become a thing. Later he shows you the Vegas stage and gives you and unforgettable orgasm to help ease his nerves

Word count:3392 I couldn’t stop 😭😭

Author’s note: this is the second time I write this, the first time around the app crashed and it didn’t save so I had to write it again. Also English is not my first language so I apologize for mistakes, please be kind. Request are open. Enjoy!!

To be added to the tag list click here

It was a strange thing to think about, the big Elvis Presley having stage fright? But he was in fact afraid of the stage, every time he got up there he felt his heart in his stomach and his thoughts traveled faster than he could keep up. His fast skyrocketing career didn't ease that fright. He loved to sing, but if he could just plant his voice on stage while he sat back and watched he would’ve been so happy. His fans didn’t know all this though, and they ate him up every time he got up there. They screamed, cried, danced, shook, all to the sound of his voice, his music, his art.

He often doubted himself and he believed it was all a dream, one from which he would wake up soon to find he was still that scrawny poor boy, form Tupelo Mississippi. He blamed all his success on luck, that thing he was sure of. He was lucky, but now it seamed to him like his luck had run out. In his mind at least.

Since ‘56 when all this crazy dream of his started, till now he had everything, everything but one thing, love. Seeing as the only woman he ever loved was his mom, who tragically died, she left him so heartbroken, he never wanted to feel that way again, so he didn’t. He indulged himself lovers to keep for a night or maybe a few nights, but it was always just raw pleasure, never love.

That was until a few months ago, when he met her, while working for the '68 comeback special, she was Steve Binder's assistant. He liked her instantly, there was just something about her, that made her stand out, even in a room full of glammed up dancers. She always carried a small notebook with her, she either had it in the pocket of her pants or in the waist line of her skirt. The gold pen she wore behind her ear, the one she used to write down in her notebook was the only piece of jewelry she wore. Her stature was that of a 5.6 feet girl who despite her height always wore flats, never heels, that intrigued him.

There were in fact many things about her, that intrigued him, her hair was another one of them. Her (h/c) hair was always neatly styled, she either wore it braided, in a ponytail or in a ballerina bun, he dreamed of seeing her hair cascade over her back. It also looked like it would be very soft, since she never seamed to put products in it. He also liked how shy she was, while also proving to be the smartest person in the room when so opens her mouth to speak, which was rare, in his presence at least.

Her voice sounded like warm honey, he remembers the first time he heard it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you mr Presley” she said as she lifted a shaky arm for him to shake, something not necessarily lady like, since men were supposed to kiss a woman’s hand, not shake it. He shook it nonetheless and he discovered her hand was warm, soft and sweaty with emotions probably. “Pleasure’s all mine darlin’”. That was the only interaction the two of them had for 2 weeks while he worked on the special, in those two weeks his time was split between singing on stage and dancing and when that was over he’d dream about her.

He often wondered if he would get a chance to talk to her, but the timing never seamed right. She was always running out and about, getting everything done for Steve and never in his presence. So he just kept hoping until the last day, but even as they filmed the last shot and shared drinks, she wasn't there. He wondered where she was, but didn't ask.

The next time he got to see her, was at the celebratory party on the 4th of December. Steve rented a bar for the whole staff, everyone was there, even people he'd never seen before, but his eyes searched the room for her. And then he found her. Sat in a dark corner, a true wallflower, she wore a beautiful green dress with a square neckline that showed enough cleavage to drive him crazy. That dress should've been illegal, it hugged all the right places, she was beautiful, well made, with enough meat on her bones to make him wish he could squeeze her every bit in his hands.

Her hair was the next thing that caught his eye, she had braided half of it and the rest hung loose in her back, he blinked and imagined what treading his long fingers through it felt like. She also didn't have her gold pen set behind her ear, instead she had beautiful gold, stud earrings, a pair to the gold bead that hung around her neck.

His feet carried him to her before he even realized he was walking. He sat next to her and gave her one of his most sincere side smiles. She looked at him and blushed looking down, he could see the blush creep up on her face, because she never wore makeup or if she did it was always in small quantities and to enhance the beauty she already had. "Evening ma'am, would you like a drink?" He asked as he motioned the bartender to come get their order. "Evening, sir, just a water, please." He ordered himself a gin tonic. While they waited he looked her up and down, god she was everything. "No need to call me sir, ma'am, just Elvis is fine by me" she blushed again and then started to play with a tissue in her hand. "Well in that case you should call me (y/n), ma'am makes me feel old." He smiled at what she said and had to bite down on his tongue not to ask her how old she was, cause she looked young.

Elvis wanted to talk more but didn't really know what to say, so they just sat there in silence. Until after drinking some of her water she surprised him. "What's your favorite season of the year?" She asked looking at him with big, curious eyes. He took a sip of his drink that had unfortunately gone warm in his hand and was no longer appetizing. He asked the bartender for a Coca-Cola, his favorite and the proceeded to answer. "Well I think summer, days are so much longer so me and the boys get to spend as much time are we want outside and because the night is also a lot more lively we get to carry some of the fun even after sunset" she listened to him very closely, he liked that, when people listened to him, really listened. "What about you darlin'?"

The way the pet name rolled on his tongue made her shiver like a cold gush of wind just passed her, but there was no wind, just him. She looked up at the ceiling like she was searching for the answer and then looked right back at him as she spoke "Winter, I like the cold, being curled up with a book by the fireplace, hot coffee in my hand. The snow, especially the snow, I miss it, we don't get it here in LA" she said it like she used to live somewhere else,he picked up on that so it was only natural that he ask. "You ain't from LA? Where're from, darlin'?" She drank some water and started playing with her necklace. "I'm from Chicago, I moved here for school." School? He was right she was smart. "What do you study at school?" She looked down at her feet. "Economics" he was once again impressed by her, she studied a field in which he thought mostly men get tangled. "And how did Steve manage to get someone so smart work for him?" He asked giggling. "It was a summer job and it paid well, I guess I did good so he told me to stick around."

She kept looking at her feet and silence fell between them once again. He couldn't help himself when his hand moved and with a long finger set under her chin he forced her to look et him. Her (e/c) eyes were so deep he could stare at them for the rest of his life. As they dragged unconsciously closer to each other, she pulled back, almost fell to the floor. Got up and left, he stayed frozen in place and the got up to go after her.

Elvis found (y/c) out in the dark alone, she was playing around with a pebble, pushing it around with the tip of her flats, again she chose not to wear heels. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked and startled her. (Y/c) looked up at him, even in the dark he could catch the glimmer in her eye. “I’m not what you’re looking for, sir.” She answered simply and kept looking down.

He took a few steps but kept the distance between them, he didn’t want her to feel more uncomfortable. He wanted to ask what she thought he was looking for, but he knew the answer, she thought he probably wanted a quick fuck, or an affair to last a few days. He did want to fuck her, but he wanted to fuck only her from now on, he couldn’t really explain it, but he felt it strongly.

He got closer, at the sound him moving she had lifted her head up and was now looking at him. “You’re beautiful!” He said before he was able to catch himself. (Y/c) laughed dry and looked away. “There’s a bar full a girls far more beautiful than I am” he shook his head, but she could see. “That ain’t right, they are beautiful in their way, but are beautiful in a way that I like, I only saw you in there.”

She quickly whipped her head around “Why me?” He didn’t have an answer for that, and while he was lost in his mind he absentmindedly tucked away a pice of hair, almost moaning out loud at the feeling of her hair in his fingers. She moved her hand to grab his wrist, he thought she wanted him to move the hand away, but before he could do it, she kept it in place and sank her face. She had such a small face compared to his hands.

He got his other hand up and now he was holding her head in his hands. She opened her eyes and looked at him, the silence that sat between them was calming. The both closed their eyes and began getting closer. When she felt his breath on her lips she spoke again. "I've never been kissed before" he understood what she was saying, she was giving him a first and it was clear she wanted loyalty. She wanted to kiss him badly, she wanted to give him, her first kiss as well as her every other one. "It's only you, you and me."

The truthfulnesses of his words made her stand on her tip toes and their lips touched. Butterflies filled he stomach and she felt like they took her flying in the sky, she felt light. He moved his hands to her waist and she hugged his neck. The kiss was slow, Elvis had never been kissed like this and he for sure never kissed anyone like this before. When the broke apart to breathe their foreheads stayed together and they both broke into laughter.

Second person pov

Now months later here you are, together in Vegas, where you followed him, after the colonel convinced him the best way to get the money for the world tour, was to sing in the new international hotel for 6 weeks. You learned to hate the colonel and advised Elvis against visiting him in the hospital a few weeks ago. He however cared too much about the old man and trusted him, but he was just a showman that bleed Elvis of every penny.

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379 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

She gave what now?👀 I- y’all needed to see this, because man, I’m shaking :)) I need more of this Elvis, god 👁️👅👁️ I’m a wh0re :/

Btw I don’t know who to credit for this masterpiece:)

417 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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