#to the person who asked nicely for angel!perry this is my completely not what you asked for at all response to that request

[pnfc]

parable doodles

[henry-and-the-seven-lords]

How He Loves - Endlessly

Simeon x MC | Song fic

How He Loves Series | Brothers Masterlist | Datables Masterlist

Inspiration ~ A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Description: Simeon is willing to risk his life as an angel to be with MC, but they insist that it isn't worth it.

Warnings: Fluffy start, angsty middle, fluffy end. Slight spoilers

"Simeon, Luke, this is the other human transfer student MC. She will be staying in the House of Lamentations." Simeon stared at the beautiful human in front of him completely disregarding Barbatos. Butterflies filled his stomach as they smiled up at him.

"It's nice to meet both of you! I hope I can get to know you both." Their smile was so soft and pure. It reminded him of the sunrises in the Celestial Realm.

Everyday, from that moment on, Simeon made it his mission to see that dazzling smile. No matter what the cost.

"Good morning, MC. Luke made some cupcakes that I thought you would enjoy." He handed them the delicacies and watched as a joyful light filled their eyes.

"Wow! Thank you, Simeon. That's so kind of you." And there it was. That smile once again filling their face and filling his chest with warmth.

He could get used to this feeling. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. Sure, he cared for his angel siblings, but this felt different. Stronger even.

Days past and Satan sat next to the angel as he continued to watch MC from a distance. Their laughter was contagious even if they were all the way across the room.

"Love stricken I see?" Satan smirked at Simeon who only glanced at him, "You do realize that is how angels fall."

With those few words Simeon's heart stopped.

That is how angels fall. That is how Lilith fell, and that is part of the reason all of the Brothers are here in the first place. He looked back to the human he was once fawning over.

There has to be another way.

Weeks pass and everyday is filled with a flurry of ideas swirling in his head. Slowly Simeon comes to realize that there might be one solution to their problem.

"MC. You're just the person I wanted to see! May I talk to you?" Simeon glanced up at a glaring Mammon before swallowing his nerves, "Alone..."

"Of course!" MC bid farewell to the glowering demon and followed the angel to a more secluded part of RAD.

"So what did you want to talk about?" They smiled at him once again, making his stomach flip. Do they know everything they are doing to him?

"Well I just wanted to let you know that I have feelings for you. I would love if you would give me the honor of being my significant other, but I understand if you disagree." His voice softened as he spoke as his eyes scanned their's for any emotions.

Thankfully their smile only grew wider as they nodded vigorously, "That would be amazing. I have actually grown quite fond of you myself."

Now this was a smile he had never seen before. It wasn't pure and innocent like all the ones before it... it held a different tension that Simeon couldn't quite place. He like it regardless.

And before he knew it, it was gone, "Wait, what about angels not being allowed to fall in love with humans?" Concern and worry filled their viseage, but thankfully he had an answer.

"I have worried about that myself. After further research, I believe I won't be punished for what I do here. There are no other angels to watch me, except for Luke, but he won't say a word. So we should be free to do as we please here," MC's face lit up up Joy only to have it fall at his next words, "But we will have to make a decision about the relationship before I go back to the Celestial Realm. I will either have to fall and stay here while we continue our relationship, or go back to the Celestial Realm and move on."

"I see... I guess we can decide then, when the time finally arrives. Until then, let's forget about it and enjoy the time we have."

Ad that is what the pair did. Weeks full of love and adoration pass as they finish out their exchange program, until one night.

"Simeon?" MC asked from their position resting on his chest. After getting together, most of their nights have ended like this. The two snuggled together on Simeon's bed as they watch the night sky out of his window. It had become so frequent that MC had basically moved into Purgatory Hall.

"Yes, Dearest?" Simeon had taken to this name after seeing the way the simple word could light up MC eyes and brighten their smile.

"The program is ending next week." Their words were firm, but he could feel their body begin to shake as they laid on him.

"I know." He glanced down to see their shaking form, and it only made his heart ache.

The room was filled with MC's quiet sobs, until they finally calmed down and looked him in the eyes.

"You should go back to the Celestial Realm." His heart dropped as he stared at them. The moonlight illuminating his confused expression.

They continued, "I am just some silly human. I'm not worth... loosing your entire life over." Their sobs began to grow once again as they finished their thought and rushed to his arms.

He held them tight to his chest stroking their hair.

To him, they were worth it. They were worth everything, but that doesn't mean he would enjoy loosing his friends and life in the Celestial Realm either.

Gently, Simeon held their face and looked them in the eyes, "Is this what you want MC? Because I am willing to fall and be with you if that's what you wish."

They shook their head vigorously, "No! Luke needs you. And you are such a good angel. I don't want you to waste that on me."

Simeon pulled them close once again embracing and holding them as tight as he could, "If that is what you wish. Just remember, you will always be my dearest human."

"And you will be my beloved angel."

The final week of the exchange was filled with dates and tears as the two made the most of their last moments together.

Eventually the time came and the two part ways. Upon returning, life in the Celestial Realm went on as if the exchange never happened, but with one small difference. Simeon made time in his busy schedule to check on a certain human everyday.

"You know they have a guardian angel, and it isn't you." Simeon jumped at the voice behind him before turning around to see his superior.

"You scared me, Micheal." Simeon tried to laugh it off as he brushed passed the other angel.

As Simeon passed, Micheal grabbed his wrist pulling him close, "I care about you Simeon. You know that, but this behavior is unacceptable. If any of the other archangels saw you, they would rip off your wings and watch you plummet to Devildom. This," He motioned to the spot where Simeon was just watching MC eating lunch, "Needs to stop."

Simeon scanned Micheals eyes for any sort of trickery, but only found sincerity. Silently he nodded, and just like that, the check ups stopped as well.

Slowly, Simeon lost count of the days. His mind only filled with thoughts of MC. Them being whisked away by another human, or worse getting injured without his knowledge or protection. It was agonizing for Simeon's thoughts to wander like this from day to day.

One day, while wallowing in his own dread a (much taller) Luke runs into his office, "Simeon! There is a new angel coming in today! They want everyone there for the ceremony."

Simeon sighs, "Is it that important, I have a lot of work to be done." He didn't, but he couldn't stand to see the joy on everyone's faces while he was only in pain.

"I think you'll want to be there for this one." So he begrudgingly went with as Luke pulled at his arm the entire way.

"I don't see why you needed to drag me here-" before he could finish his sentence, the Golden gates of the Celestial Realm opened and before him stood the faces he had longed to see for decades.

"MC?" When they met his eyes they smiled and his heart was set a flutter like it was their first meeting all over again.

He watched excitedly as they accepted their wings and before they could even thank the other angel, he ran to them.

"My Dearest! You don't know how much I missed you!" He picked them up in his arms once again and spun them around with delight.

They laughed as he put them down, "Well I couldn't let my beloved angel spend eternity alone, now could I?"

Those words were enough to give Simeon the courage to kiss them with all the passion he had been holding for so long.

Tag list

@bunna-does-stuff @obeythebutler @ashxrsbeloveds

[high-functioning-lokipath]

Song of the Heart - Loki x Non-Powered!Reader - Words: 1,518 (including song lyrics from: Rise by Katy Perry, Dancing Queen by Abba, & Perfect by Ed Sheeran)

"Ugh, why did I have to wake up today," you groaned, turning off your alarm clock. You rolled out of bed and begrudgingly put on your clothes for the day. "I hate working early." You schlepped down to the kitchen to make some breakfast but found someone was already there.

Cause when, when the fire's at my feet again

And the vultures all start circling

They're whispering, you're out of time

But still, I rise

This is no mistake, no accident

When you think the final nail is in, think again

Don't be surprised, I will still rise

"Oh my goodness," You whispered to yourself. The music was blasting in the kitchen and there, in the middle of the room, dancing and singing as he cooked, was none other than Loki.

Don't doubt it, don't doubt

Oh, oh, oh, oh

You know it, you know it

Still rise

Just fight it, just fight it

Don't be surprised, I will still rise.

"You made me breakfast?" You interrupted, attempting to keep a straight face. Loki whipped around, shocked. That's when you noticed what he was using as his 'microphone'. "Is that a spoon?" You laughed. 

"Laugh at me again and I'll cut you," He threatened, suddenly brandishing a knife as well. "Now leave, mortal," He growled. 

"Fine," You grumbled, only mildly scared by his outburst. You'd really been looking forward to a nice breakfast but now it seemed like you'd have to wait or stick with granola bars. On your way back to your room, you bumped into Thor in the hallway. "Oh! Sorry!"

"It's quite alright, Lady Y/N," He grinned. "Is Loki in the kitchen?"

"Quite. He threatened me with a knife before ordering me to get out. Should I be concerned?" Thor looked away embarrassed.

"He’s my brother, don’t worry. That's just his style. He," Thor sighed. "He truly wants to be accepted but I think he's afraid of being betrayed again by those he chooses to trust."

"I see," You said. "Well, sorry again. See you at dinner?"

"Of course, m'lady!" You nodded and headed to your office on one of the other floors. Stark had hired you to do graphic design for his fundraiser events and Avengers merch and, after finding out you had to commute all the way across town, offered you an apartment in the tower.

Later on in the morning, a delivery boy knocked at your door. "Miss L/N?" You nodded and he handed you a long, thin box. When you opened it, you found a single long-stem red rose with a note. 

Lady Y/N,

These past months since you've taken residence here have been considerably more enjoyable due to your presence. If you would allow me to be so forward, I would like to invite you to join me for dinner on the rooftop at 8.

Respectfully Yours

You flipped the note over to see if there was any signature and checked the box twice over but to no avail. There was simply no clue as to the sender. You reread the note, however, and smirked. "Lady Y/N," You murmured. "Well there are only two people I know who speak that way. And I'm meeting one of them at 8." You decided to text Thor and tell him you likely wouldn't see him tonight at dinner as you had other dinner plans come up. He never replied though so you couldn't get any clues from him.

That evening, when you walked out onto the roof, you were surprised once again. There were beautiful fairy lights and flowers strung up everywhere, candles flickering on the table, and you could faintly hear classical music playing. "Wow," You said under your breath as you stepped out further and looked around. "It's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you, my dear," a deep voice said from behind you. Turning around, you saw the mischievous grin of your favorite Tower resident. 

"Good evening, Loki," You smiled. "Pray tell, what is the purpose of your invitation this fine night?"

"My my! So formal!" He smirked. You blushed brightly and looked away. 

"Sorry. I-I tend to get a little dramatic when I-well, just sorry."

"I quite liked it," He assured you quickly. "It suits you." 

"Thanks," You grinned. "Really though, what's all this for?"

"I wanted to make up for the inconvenience I caused you this morning."

"Is it just my imagination or did you just apologise?" You teased. He chuckled and nodded. "You know, you really don't have anything to apologise for," You said slowly. "I know it's just kinda who you are and," You shrugged slightly. "I really don't mind."

"While it is true that I threaten my brother and his teammates quite often, I never do so without proper cause. This morning was unjustified." He leaned on the edge of the room and looked out over the glittering skyline.

"You were embarrassed. I think that's due reason," You smiled, stepping closer to him. "I caught you acting mortal." He laughed once again, shaking his head. 

"You are more than kind."

"Why shouldn't I be? You deserve it just as much as everyone else." You reached out and inched your hand closer to his. "Maybe more," You added. He glanced down at your hand next to his and a light blush rose to his cheeks.

"You think so?"

"I know so," You replied. He took your hand in his and kissed it. 

"Thank you," He said. You giggled lightly and glanced at the table. 

"So, can we eat now? Because as much as I love being all mushy and emotional and stuff. I'm starving!" He laughed heartily and he led you to the table, holding the chair out for you and all.

After you'd both finished eating, you were sipping on the glass of wine he'd served you when you noticed he was staring. You raised an eyebrow curiously and he looked away. "Sorry," He said quickly. 

"It's fine," You replied. "So, what does all this mean? Like was this just your way of apologizing to me? Or-" you trailed off, unsure of how to finish that question. 

"I was hoping it could be more than that," He said nervously. "I've been watching you for quite some time now. As I said in the note, I've very much enjoyed your presence. You bring a different kind of happiness to the tower. Or to any room you walk into really," He added. "If you would be amenable, I wish very much to court you."

"I think I would be ok with that," You mused. "On one condition."

"What's that?" He asked worriedly. 

"That you dance with me tonight," You replied, standing and holding out your hand. He grinned and took your hand, leading you out to an open area. You let him lead for a few minutes, of course. An elegant waltz that matched perfectly the music playing. "Where's the music playing from?" You asked. He held out a smartphone and you grabbed it. "May I play one of my favorites to dance to?"

"Of course!" He replied. 

"Even if it's a little," you paused. "Different than what you're used to?" He hesitated only for a moment before nodding once again. You smirked and quickly brought up youtube. "Now here on midgard this is somewhat a cliche dancing song but," You chuckled, "I like it." 

Ooh

You can dance

You can jive

"What exactly is jiving?" He asked. You laughed and took his hands.

"It's slang for dancing and it goes something like this."

Ooh, see that girl

Watch that scene

Digging the dancing queen

You danced to the music, trying to pull Loki along with you. He eventually sorta got the rhythm and started to follow your moves. "This is quite different than what I've learned." You laughed and smiled at him. "If I did this back on Asgard they would say I wasn't actually dancing."

"Oh really?" You replied. "So this isn't dancing?" You bopped and twirled to the music, making Loki laugh loudly. 

"When you do it, how could anyone say it was not?" 

"Oh stop it!" You exclaimed. "I'm sure some version of you in another universe would be simply wonderful at this!"

"Meaning?" 

"You just have to practice a little more! You were doing wonderfully this morning!" He shook his head and smiled affectionately at you. "In the meantime," You scrolled again through YouTube and brought up another song. "Perhaps we can dance a little slower for now."

I found a love for me

Oh darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

"That would be perfect," He replied, completely innocent to the song title. The two of you swayed to the music and you sighed happily. 

"I still want you to make me breakfast one day."

"Alright, how about breakfast in bed tomorrow?"

"Glorious," You smirked. He gave you a light kiss on the forehead before twirling you around and pulling you close once again. 

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

I don't deserve this

You look perfect tonight

[luna-eclipse2000]

Shingeki no Danganronpa

Chapter 1, part 1

So I started this story last year when the Danganronpa craze happened but I still wanna post it because I think it’s a pretty alright take on the game. I put a hashtag of the name of this series so the parts are easy to find. (ie. Shingeki no Danganronpa Chapter 1)

——————————————————————————

Hope’s Peak High. A school so large that it towers over all the other buildings in this bustling urban area. Some people say that the school is like it’s at the centre of the world, which I agree to. Except, it is at the centre of the entire world. Everyone knows about this school and how prestigious it is. Anybody who’s anybody dreams of getting that fateful acceptance letter from administration. They say that if you come here and manage to graduate, you’ll be set for life. I’m not the most interesting person in the world, so it was a complete shock when I got a letter saying that they want me to attend. The only award I’ve ever won was a runner’s up ribbon in a fishing tourney. My letter told me that I’m the ‘Ultimate Lucky Student’, which sounds like complete horse shit in my opinion.

I get good grades, sure, but nothing as skyrocketing as some of the people who get in for a purpose. I still accepted the opportunity because I’m not an idiot. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and there’s no way that I’ll give it up because I feel like I don’t belong there... which I definitely feel like. I would’ve just assumed that they got the wrong person but they don’t send acceptance letters to the wrong house, it hasn’t happened in the fifty years the school’s been running for, and I’m pretty sure that the name (f/n) (l/n) isn’t common in this area. So here I now stand, in front of the massive school. It’s even more impressive and intimidating in person. Before I arrived, I did a small Google search on who was going to be in my class and it ranges from more mundane things like the Ultimate Cleaner to the Ultimate Strategist. But, despite my uncertainty of my presence, I put on a brave face and walk through the entrance gates... only to start feeling dizzy and nauseous, like I’m in one of those crazy amusement park rides where you spin in a circle very quickly and the floor drops. No sooner do I start feeling this way, do I black out.

~~~~~

“The hell just happened?” I ask myself as I open my eyes and take a look at my surroundings. I seem to be in a classroom because of all the desks and the blackboard up front, but there’s no windows. Just big metal plates with even bigger bolts and screws holding them in place. “Huh. Weird. Maybe that just shows some new part of the school they’re building and they don’t want any one to see it until it’s finished?” I wonder as I stand up from the desk. I look around but don’t see any bags, even mine is gone. When I turned back to my desk, I notice a slightly folded piece of paper on it, so I pick it up out of curiosity.

Hey there, new kid! The next semester is about to start. Starting today, this school will be your entire world.

“Knew it was the centre of the world.” I think to myself and then place the card down. It didn’t look very professional as it was written in black and red pencil crayon, but it’s a high school so I doubt there are any kids. And if there were, I would have to report them to cops for child labour. I look up at the clock and see that’s it’s eight. “How long was I out for? An hour probably, maybe less. Wait, doesn’t this school start at eight? Where’s all the students? And the teachers? Maybe I read the time wrong on the letter.”

I then go out of the classroom and notice the weird magenta and purple look of the halls and cringe at the contrast. “Ok, what the hell is with this hallway? And, again, where are all the people? I know that eight am isn’t very early, at least not so early that it’s a ghost town. Oh, shit, maybe there’s an assembly!”

I begin to race down the hall and pass by a red door that feels too eerily out of place but I shake the feeling off and head towards the main hall. Once I arrive, I see that everyone else is already there. “Hey, look! Someone else is here!” Someone says. “So that makes fifteen of us.” Someone else points out. “So, you’re all new as well?” I ask them. “No, we’re here for shits and giggles.” A boy with black hair and sharp steel grey eyes rudely answers. I laugh awkwardly. “Who shoved a stick up your ass?”

He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Anyways, I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself. “Sorry I’m late. When I entered the school I just blacked out or some shit. It was really weird.”

“You too?” A short blonde girl asks. “That’s what happened to the rest of us! At first, I thought it was just nerves. But then everyone started to realize that we all blacked out.”

“Yes. This is rather a strange situation.” A boy with blond hair that’s tied back a bit and glasses says. “I’ve never heard of fifteen people blacking out at different times at the same place on the same day.”

“We were drugged!” Someone speaks up. Everyone goes quiet as we turn our attention to the person who spoke. She’s rather tall and has brown hair, and wears glasses. “Oh, come on! I was just joking to lighten the mood! And ease the tension that’s growing because it’s making me a biiiit uncomfortable.”

“So then how about we just introduce ourselves then?” A black haired boy with freckles suggests. “That way we can ease the tension without freaking everyone out.”

I immediately feel calmer after he speaks. He’s got some kind of... energy or something around him. The first person I go up to is the short blonde girl with blue eyes. “Oh, hello! I’m Krista Lenz.”

Krista Lenz. She’s the Ultimate Volunteer. She volunteers all of her free time to shelters, reading to kids, helping the city, going in to retirement/nursing homes, helping out in hospitals and keeping veterans company. She’s even gone abroad to help build homes. She’s known online as Angel, and I can totally see why. Not just because of her noble acts, but because she looks so pure and innocent. Like a little angel. “Well, it’s actually Historia Reiss but that’s hard for kids and seniors to pronounce and spell so I just came up with the fake name.” Krista explains. “No way, seriously?” I ask her. “Doesn’t it bother you that you’re popular with a name that isn’t technically yours?”

She giggles cutely. “Singers do it all the time, don’t they? Katy Perry’s last name is actually Hudson but she didn’t want to get confused for the actress, Kate Hudson.”

“Oh, right, yeah.” I say awkwardly and then move onto the next person.

I decide to go up to the the boy who suggested introductions. “Hi! I’m Marco Bodt. It’s nice to meet you!”

Ah, yes. Marco Bodt, the Ultimate Peacekeeper. He tries to help different countries bring peace to them so no more wars break out. He’s also proposed that they follow England in having a special force of officers who carry guns while the majority only carry nightsticks. He’s also won a Nobel peace prize. “So, what are you here for?” Marco asks me. “Oh, nothing special. I’m not that important.” I say. “Nonsense! You were accepted, right?” Marco says. “I got chosen by chance to be the lucky student.” I tell him. “See?” Marco says. “Out of everyone in the world that they put into chance, you got chosen! Not Diana across town. And the letter even said you were the Ultimate Lucky Student as a result, that accounts for something, right?”

I smile thankfully and go to say something else but hear shouting instead. “What the fuck did you call me, you suicidal bastard?!”

“I called you a horse face, horse face!” The other person responds just as angrily. “Oh, geez.” Marco says. “Sorry, I’m gonna go break them up so there isn’t a murder or anything.”

Marco then heads off to go calm the two boys down. I roll my eyes. “Teenage boys. Why are they like this?”

I head off to another boy, but he doesn’t have any hair. Or at least very little, short, stubby hairs. “Hi, I’m Connie Springer!”

Connie Springer is the Ultimate Prankster. He’s pulled pranks on a various number of people, none of which were very tame. He’s pranked politicians and celebrities. He’s helped talk show hosts prank their audiences and even pranked a military general. I honestly don’t know how he got away with his life for that one, especially since I heard how strict and unforgiving the general is. “It’s nice to meet you, Connie.” I say. “How’d you even escape General Shadis after putting Veet in his shampoo and then switching his toothpaste for actual sewerage?”

“Not easily, I’ll tell you that.” Connie responds with a laugh.

I then move onto the next person. A girl with black hair and grey eyes standing beside a boy with brown hair and beautiful turquoise eyes that I’m honestly jealous of. “Hi. I’m Eren Jaeger and this is Mikasa Ackerman.”

Eren Jaeger. The Ultimate Freedom Fighter. He leads various protests to allow people more rights and be more free, and he also runs different projects that aid in getting people free from their situation. Mikasa Ackerman is his adopted sister and is basically known as his knight in shining armour because of her saving Eren from all the aggressive people he’s encountered. She’s the Ultimate Protector. She protects students at school from bullies, and protects her brother, Eren, from everything. She’s been known to intimated police and SWAT teams, who are already trying to get her to join their force. Marco’s even been seen with them from time to time when he knows it could get very ugly. “What you’ve been doing is quite admirable, Eren.” I compliment him. “It’s great of you to stand up for complete strangers.”

He bashfully puts a hand on the back of his neck with a light blush and smile. “Thanks. Everyone deserves to have freedom so I just stand up for those who’s voices are drowned out by every day noise.”

I turn to Mikasa. “And you’re pretty brave to tell SWAT officers off.”

She just shrugs. “I don’t see it as brave.”

I nod and then go to the next person. Well, group. A tall boy with dark brown hair who seems to be sweating a lot, a blond boy who’s pretty buff, and a short blond girl who gives off as much warmth as an iceberg in a blizzard. “Hi. I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself to them. They all look at me and I see the blond smirk. “Nah, cute is what you are.” He says to me. I can feel my cheeks start to burn at his pick-up line. “Oh, well, uh, thank you.”

“I’m Reiner Braun. This guy here’s Bertolt Hoover, and this is Annie Leonhart.”

Reiner Braun’s the Ultimate Blacksmith. He looks much more like a sports guy but when you see what he makes, you know that his talents lie with making armour and weapons. He makes them professionally for people who want a real replica of what medieval knights had, cosplayers, and medieval dinner shows. He’s won more than fifty competitions for blacksmithing. Bertolt Hoover is the Ultimate Deceit. He’s gotten away with a bunch of different crimes because of his shy and timid nature that makes him fade more into the background. Annie Leonhart is the Ultimate Fighter. Her father put her into boxing when she was a kid and beat the instructor on her first day so she started to train professionally. “So, what do you think about us being a thing when school really gets started, huh?” Reiner flirts. “Reiner, shut up.” Annie orders her friend. “Thanks for the offer.” I say. “It’s really tempting, but I have to decline.”

I quickly leave the trio to go introduce myself to a girl with auburn hair tied up into a ponytail. “Hi! I’m Sasha Braus!”

Sasha Braus runs a successful food critic website and tries food from all over the world including octopus, fried spiders and escamol. She’s friends with a bunch of different famous chefs like Gordon Ramsey and Rachel Ray. She’s also judged on a number of cooking shows and won every eating contest she’s competed in which is why she’s the Ultimate Foodie. “So, uh, when do you think we’ll get to eat?” Sasha asks me. I think for a second. “Not sure. We’ll probably have the orientation meeting and then be given a tour of the school, which will take a while, so probably not until at least eleven.”

She pouts. That’s when I notice a smell. “What the hell is that?”

“Oh, it’s a potato.” Sasha says and pulls out a whole baked potato from her jacket pocket. “Where the hell did you find a potato?!” I ask her. “Well when I woke up, I was really hungry. But my bag wasn’t with me that carried all my snacks. So before I came to the main hall, I decided to go find the dining hall. The potato was just kind of... there. Like it was waiting for me to eat it.” Sasha says and then breaks off a piece. “You want half?”

I look at the piece and see that it’s more like a quarter but I’m not hungry anyway so I politely decline. “More for me then!”

I laugh at her and then turn and see the black haired male with the stick up his ass. “Let’s get this over with.” I think to myself as I make my way over. “Hi.” I greet him. His cold eyes land on me and I instantly feel like I committed a felony or something. “Levi Ackerman.”

Levi Ackerman, distant cousin of Mikasa Ackerman, according to tabloids, who’s the Ultimate Cleaner. Apparently he grew up in the shittiest part of the city where the rats are almost the size of feet, which is where his obsession for cleanliness came from. He cleans up any vandalism from the streets and enforces no littering. He’s run mass city, beach and ocean clean ups. I decide that it’s best to leave him alone so I turn to the brown haired girl beside him who’s wearing glasses. “Hiii! I’m Hanji Zoë! The Ultimate Scientist! Also I’m non-binary, just so you know.”

Hanji Zoë definitely lives up to the title. They found a new element when they were ten and they had to do their science work from home so a university chemist and biologist could come tutor them. They even created a new cell that can protect the body from diseases like TB, certain cancers, and certain joint problems. She also won a Nobel prize. “It’s nice to meet you.” I say. “Great job on getting that Nobel prize for your cell creation!”

“Thank you, but it was nothing.” Hanji brushes my compliment off. “I don’t need an award to tell me that I helped millions of people for me to know it. Sorry, did that sound cocky?”

“No, no! It’s ok! I understand what you mean.” I tell them and then go off to the blond boy with glasses. “Hi. I’m Armin Arlert.”

Armin Arlert. The Ultimate Strategist who came up with his first strategy to get out of the orphanage he was placed in and go completely unnoticed when he was eight. After that, he started working with the military and with him on their side, there are much fewer casualties for them... but not for the other side. “So, your strategies are pretty damn good.” I say. “How on earth do you come up with them?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It just kind of happens.” Armin says awkwardly. “You get nervous about speaking about your brain, don’t you?” I ask him. He chuckles with a small blush. “Was I that obvious?”

“It’s ok. I get it. You help the military to make sure that they don’t lose as many soldiers as the other side.” I say. He nods shyly, so I move onto the next person. She has brown hair tied back into a flat ponytail. “Hi. I’m (f/n).” I introduce myself. “Ymir.” She introduces herself.

With the lack of a last name, and not hearing about her at all online, I just nod my head awkwardly and go introduce myself to the final person. He’s talking to Marco and has interesting hair. It’s ash blond with a brown undercut. “Hi, I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself. The boy turns around and I get bit startled by his amber eyes. Eren has pretty eyes, but this guy is a full on pretty boy. He gives me a grin and I can tell he knows it, too. “Hey, Jean Kirschtein.”

Jean Kirschtein is the Ultimate Equestrian. He’s been riding horses ever since he could walk because he grew up on a farm. He entered his first equestrian competition when he was seven and has won first every year. He helps take care of horses from his own to others and even helps beginners with picking out which horse they should ride first. He even runs riding lessons at the farms for said beginners. “So, I heard that you’re the Ultimate Lucky Student, eh?” Jean asks. “Could I have some of that luck to take you horse riding?”

“Keep it PG at school, horse face!” We hear Eren mock. “I don’t have a horse face!” Jean shouts at him. “And I wasn’t implying anything!”

He’s obviously a bit embarrassed and flustered. “Alright, alright. Calm down. He’s just doing it to rile you up.” Marco says to Jean. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you look like a horse.” I tell him.

Just as I finish saying that, a bell goes off. “Ahem! Ahem! Testing, testing! Mic check, one, two! This is a test of the school’s broadcast system! Am I on? Can everyone hear me? Ok, well then...!” A voice speaks through the PA system. “Ahh, to all incoming students! I would like to begin the entrance ceremony at... right now! Please make your way to the gymnasium at your earliest convenience... That’s all. I’ll be waiting!”

“Is that voice not sitting well with anyone else or is my stomach feeling squirmy because of the potato I stole?” Sasha asks us. “No. It definitely feels odd.” Marco agrees with her. “We don’t have time for this, brats. Let’s just get on with this so I can clean. This place is absolutely filthy.” Levi says monotonously with a hint of disgust as he walks away from the group and towards the gym. I look at Jean and Marco and the three of us follow him, followed by everyone else. We all make it to the gym in a few short minutes. I see Hanji go towards the trophy case and look straight at this gold and purple katana. “Oo, pretty!” They exclaim and then touch the handle but immediately retract their hand. “Damn, that thing is absolutely coated in gold dust! My hand looks like El Dorado!”

“Um... anyone else find it weird that the hall’s are completely empty?” Krista asks as we enter the gym itself. “I haven’t even heard any other classes going in the classrooms.”

“Yeah, man. I’m getting weirded out, now.” Connie agrees with her. “And did anyone else notice that there were machine guns in front of the entrance which looked like a vault door?” Eren asks. “It’s probably nothing, Eren.” Mikasa says. “Why would they have machine guns in a school?”

He nods but I see him shift uncomfortably. “Hey there, howdy, hello!” The voice from earlier greets. “Is everyone here? Good! Then let’s get things rolling!”

We all look towards the stage which has a podium in the centre and the school crest above it, which are two wings; one white and one blue. As we await our headmaster to walk on stage, a black and white teddy bear pops up and lands on the podium. I hear Connie snort back a laugh. “A teddy bear?” Krista asks in confusion. “I’m not a teddy bear!” The bear says lowly. “I... am... Monokuma! And I am this school’s headmaster!”

I try to wrap my head around what’s happening. A teddy bear- er, uh, Monokuma is our headmaster who’s mouth doesn’t even move when he’s talking. I look around at all my classmates, particularly Connie, to see if this is a joke of his, but everyone looks just as confused as I am. Except Annie but she’s devoid of all of emotion. Hell, even Levi has an eyebrow quirked at the oddness. “Nice to meet you all!”

“Ok, Connie.” Reiner says. “This was hilarious, best prank you’ve ever pulled! But can you turn off the teddy bear now?”

“I’m not doing this, I swear! You guys can search me for a remote or whatever.” Connie responds. “I don’t think he has the intelligence needed to build that. No offence, Connie.” Armin says. I see Connie look slightly offended at the words. “I told you already, I’m not a teddy bear... I’m Monokuma! And I’m your headmaster!” Monokuma shouts angrily as he moves his arms up to display further emotion. “AH! It moved!” Sasha screeches. “No shit, Sherlock.” Levi mumbles. “Oh, calm down, everyone! It’s obviously just a remote controlled toy!” Hanji says. “How dare you compare me to a child’s plaything!” Monokuma says. “You’ve cut me deep. Deeper than the Mariana Trench... My remote control system is so complex, even the folks in the Military Police can’t recreate or even comprehend it! Then again, that place is full of nitwits! Now then, moving on! We really must hurry and get started... Everyone, stand at attention and bow! And... good morning!”

Marco does as he’s told. “Good morning, sir!”

“Marco, stand up.” Jean whispers and pulls the boy up from his bow. “Don’t fall for this shit.”

“Now then, let us commence with a most noteworthy and memorable entrance ceremony!” Monokuma says. “First, let’s talk a bit about what your school life here will be like. Now, ah, make no mistake- you few students, so full of potential, represent the hope of the world. And to protect such splendid hope... you will all live a communal life together solely within the confines of this school. Everyone will live in harmony together, and adhere to the school’s rules and regulations. Ah, now then... regarding the end date of this communal life... there isn’t one! In other words, you’ll all be here until the day you die! Such is the school life you’ve been assigned.”

“Until we die? What kind of fucked up bullshit is this?” Levi asks. “Oh, but fear not!” Monokuma assures us. “We have quite an abundant budget, so you won’t lack for all the common conveniences.”

“That’s still not very comforting.” I tell him. “You gotta be screwing with us!” Connie says. “I am not screwing with you!” Monokuma shouts angrily. “I am no liar, of that you can be 100% sure. Ah, and just for your information... you’re completely cut off from the outside world. So you don’t have to worry about that dirty, dirty land beyond these walls ever again!”

I feel my pockets for my phone. “They took our phones!” I announce. Everyone then starts to check themselves for theirs, too. “So, then... all those metal plates all over the school... they’re there to keep us trapped in here?” Reiner asks him. “That’s exactly what they’re there for.” Monokuma confirms. “No matter how much you may yell and scream for help... help will not come. So with all that in mind, feel free to live out your life here with reckless abandon!”

“Come on, what the hell is this? It’s not funny!” Eren asks. “You all keep saying this is a lie, or a joke.” Monokuma says. “A bunch of skeptics, all of you. But I guess you can’t help it, huh? You all grew up in an age where you’re taught to doubt your neighbour... Well, you’ll have plenty of time to find out whether or not what I say is true. And when that time comes, you’ll see with your own eyes that I speak the undeniable truth.” Monokuma answers Eren.

“I don’t want to live here forever! This is bullshit!” Jean shouts nervously. No one else looks pleased with the news. “Come, now. What’s the matter with all of you? You decided of your own free will to attend Hope’s Peak Academy, didn’t you? And now, before the entrance ceremony is even finished, you’ve already decided that you want to leave? Oh, but you know... I guess I did forget to mention one thing. There is one way for you to leave the school...” Monokuma leaves us in hopeful suspense.

“Spit it out, already.” Annie orders. “Ok, ok! Calm down!” Monokuma says. “As headmaster, I’ve crafted a special clause for those of you who would like to leave! I call it... the Graduation Clause! Now, let me tell you about this fun little rule. As I mentioned, in order to maintain an environment of harmony here, we rely on a communal lifestyle. And if someone were to disrupt that harmony, they, and they alone, would be allowed to leave the school. That, my students, is the Graduation Clause!”

“So by disrupting the peace, all we need to do is fling shit, literally, at people and we can just... go?” Levi asks with a hint of skepticism in his voice. Monokuma laughs. “No. Not exactly. But... if someone were murder another. (“Murder?!” We all repeat in shock) Stabbing, strangling, bludgeoning, crushing, hacking, drowning, igniting, how you do it doesn’t matter. You must kill someone if you want to leave. It’s as simple as that. The rest is up to you. Give it your all to achieve the best outcome in the worst way possible!”

The air goes suffocatingly thick as we all process the situation at hand. We’re trapped in here for life unless we commit murder. There’s no way to contact the outside world, all the windows are boarded up with giant plates of metal, and our headmaster is a complete psycho. No one wants to believe this. It’s something straight out of a horror movie or a TV show created by someone seriously fucked up. Monokuma’s laugh brings us all out of our stupor. “I bet that got your brain juices flowing! Beats the heck out of a human catching a salmon, huh? Like I said before, you guys are the hope of the world. But you know... taking that hope and seeing it get murdered creates a darkened shadow of despair. And I just find that so. Darn. Exciting!”

“You’re insane!” Krista exclaims as she starts to cry a bit. “You guys just don’t get it, do you?” Monokuma asks. “‘Let us go, let us go!’ You keep on saying the same thing over and over and over and over...! Listen. From this moment on, this school is your home, your life, your world. Got it? And you can kill as much as you wanna kill! So go ahead! Go on a kill-kill-killing spree!”

No one makes a move, or a sound, for a good few seconds until Mikasa walks up to the podium. She just stands there. “Eh? Well what do you want?” Monokuma asks her. When he finishes speaking, she grabs him by his little bear neck and lifts him off the ground. Monokuma waves his arms up and down. “I don’t know if you’re a toy, and, frankly, I don’t care, but you just threatened myself, Eren and everyone else here with murder. If it’s murder you want, it’s murder you’ll get.” Mikasa says and pulls out a pocketknife from her pants pocket. “Waah! Violence against the headmaster is in violation of school regulations!” Monokuma shouts. “You never said that before.” Mikasa says stoically. “And all we need to do is disturb the peace to leave, right? So all I need to do is pull out your stuffing and I’ll get to leave. And since you won’t be around, I’ll take everyone here with me.”

He doesn’t respond except for some kind of beeping. “Is he shutting down?” I question. The beeping then gets louder and more frequent. I then hear a gasp come from behind me. “Throw it!” Hanji instructs. “What?” Mikasa responds. “Throw the damn bear! He’s gonna explode!” Hanji explains. Mikasa immediately throws the bear away and then throws herself onto Eren so he doesn’t get hurt as Monokuma explodes.

I jump from the sudden sound and hear Krista squeak in surprise. “Well, shit. That really throws the reality of this situation in our faces.” Levi says with his usual emotionless voice, but there’s a hint of nervousness behind it. “Wait, guys, Mikasa still killed it!” I point out. “Yeah! The bastard bear’s destroyed!” Eren cheers. “Uh... I-I wouldn’t be so sure...” Armin speaks up as Monokuma reappears on the podium. “Nice try! But it’ll take a lot more than a silly explosion to kill me!”

“Oh, come on! What the hell is this?!” Reiner shouts. “So I was almost killed for nothing?” Mikasa asks. “Of course! You violated one of the school regulations, after all. I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but you’d better be careful from now on. Any naughty boy or girl who violates my rules won’t get off with just a little swat on the butt.” Monokuma threatens. I swear I see a vein on his forehead pop out from the anger. “Wait... if you exploded... and you’re back... does that mean that there are more of you?” Hanji asks him. “Mhm! Yup! There’s also surveillance cameras installed everywhere so I’ll be able to see if you break the rules. Then it’s bye-bye birdie! Now that that’s out of the way, to commemorate your joyous entry into our school, I have a little something for you...” Monokuma says and then flat tablets appear before each of us from the ground. “This is your official student handbook! Pretty cool, huh? As you can see, it’s fully digital. So naturally, we called it... the E-Handbook!”

“Wow... I wonder how many brain cells it took to come up with that?” Hanji says sarcastically. “Ignoring that rude comment, this handbook is absolutely vital to a healthy school life, so don’t lose it! When you start it up, it will display your name. Always make sure you have the right one! Now, this is not your everyday notebook. It has so many more uses than that! Also, it’s completely waterproof. Splash it, wash it, drown it, it’ll keep ticking! And thanks to its space-age design, it can withstand an impact force of up to ten tons. It’s very resistant! It contains all of our school regulations, so make sure you review them thoroughly! You’ll hear me say this a lot, but any violation of school regulations will not be tolerated.”

“This is gonna get pretty fucking annoying.” Ymir groans. “Well, then, don’t violate the rules and you won’t hear it often, sweets. (“Sweets?! Why you-!” Ymir growls but refuses to move so nothing else happens.) Rules restrict, yes, but they also protect. Society, for example, would be utter chaos without laws. (“It’s got a point...” Annie agrees with Monokuma). The same thing applies here! Which is why it’s crucial that we have strict punishments in place for violators. Ok, well... that brings our entrance ceremony to a close! Please enjoy your abundantly dreary school life! See ya!” Monokuma says before disappearing.

With him now gone, we all have time to properly process what we were all just told. I can feel the fear lingering in the air. This school is wrongfully named after Hope. Like he said, the opposite of hope is despair... which is the state that all of us are currently in.

[azritesx3]

“A Devil’s Love” Chapter 2: Show Me All I Don’t Know

Description: Chloe’s best friend is back, and Lucifer’s charm can’t seem to affect her either. Is she also a miracle child? Or something…more? [Story starts during S2 Ep4, Female Reader Insert]

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AN: Updated March 14, 2020 - Grammar AN: Updated July 14, 2020 - Grammar/Minor changes

Rating: Teen Warning[s]: Swearing

Show Timeline: Season 2 Episode 9

Spotify Playlist /// AO3 Fanfiction Net Wattpad DeviantArt

Tag List: @ayanna-wild​, @anushay1998, @emiwrites3reads​, @i-am-canada-13​, @heart-of-pots-and-pans​, @tinyybiceps, @jessicarene99​, @lucifersnipnips​, @givemebooksorgivemedeath​, @sailor-earth-1

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To say your first couple months back home was a walk in the park would be a big fat lie.

Nothing bad really happened. Well, except when your BFF got in that bad car accident and you swore up and down it had something to do with you, but she pushes you away and says she's fine and can't stand you and Lucifer taking the blame.

Why would Lucifer be taking the blame, you thought. So, you ask him. Like any sane person would do who was overprotective of their friends. If you ended up being wrong about this guy being “good” and “nice”, you had to get him away from Chloe.

But no. He's not bad. Just crazy. What with continuing with his “Devil” shtick and claiming it was one of his “Angel” brothers trying to take what his father, aka “God”, gave him in exchange for a favor.

And you thought you were crazy before, but it wasn't true for you, so why would it be true for him?

Oh, and after that whole fiasco poor Chloe finds out that her real father’s killer has been free all this time. No reprimanding, no worries. Just a cop killer who got to continue his life freely. Turns out the killer was Warden Perry Smith, and he was responsible for many set up kills. You remember the failure you felt when Smith managed to destroy his scent from your hounds. The bastard didn’t get far, though. Maze managed to easily capture him, and from then on became the LAPD’s number one bounty hunter.

But, with all that bad came a lot of good. Not easily, of course. It's hard work trying to find a suitable building in the perfect location for your next veterinarian hospital. You, with the help of your trusty sidekick Alice, managed to find just that though.

Next, while you sorted out the building paperwork and searched for a good construction company, you had to find a place to live. That, thankfully, went much quicker than finding the next “Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic” building.

Chloe kept trying to convince you to move in with her instead of Maze, but you politely declined. You didn't want to be the one who made that badass fighter homeless. Besides, you like having your own space.

And to top all that off, you got your old job back as the Captain of the K9 division of the LAPD. You missed training your dogs & officers, plus having that paycheck, the paycheck from the “COL VC” in New York, and the future paycheck of the next “COL VC” building allowed you to not stress financially.

Currently, you are standing in “COL VC #2” watching the progress come along. You smile as you see how well, and fast, things are going. If this keeps up, you'll be able to open up within the month.

Which means you and Alice need to start hiring people.

You sigh to yourself and rub your forehead, closing your eyes. First things first, you had to find some way to properly thank Lucifer for giving you the name of this construction company.

“They are a fantastic company! Did very fine work in my club. Why not come see for yourself tonight?” Lucifer looked at you like he looked at Alice the first day.

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and crossed your arms, building up a barrier.

“Oooh, playing hard to get are we?” He licked his lips and looked you up and down, “I like it!”

“Ok. This was obviously a bad idea.” You huffed and started to leave Chloe’s desk.

“Wait, K9!” You stopped and turned back towards him, “I’m sorry, truly.” he looked sincere and placed his right hand over his heart, “Here.” He grabbed the yellow sticky notes and a pen from Chloe’s desk and began to write.

“Just tell the owner that you’re with me.” He handed you the note and smiled, “He'll give you a large discount, I'm sure.”

You looked down at the note and couldn't help the thought of how beautiful Lucifer’s handwriting was, “Thank you, Lucifer.” You looked up at him and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“You’re quite welcome, my dear.” He gave you a genuine smile back, then turned flirtatious again, “Though I would like you to come to my club, so you can see what those constructors are really capable of. It’s so sad their talents will be wasted on an animal clinic.”

“Uh-huh.” You shook your head, still smiling, and walked away.

Your phone’s ringtone knocks you back to the present. The call says it’s Chloe, but when you answer it-

“SOME DADDY KILLER BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS!” Lucifer’s voice blares through your phone so loud that the workers around turn towards you and you swear your ear is bleeding.

“Sooo, you think the perfect way to stop this ‘Daddy Killer Boy’ is to make me go deaf? Well, you’re doing very well so far.” You bring your phone to your none deaf ear and rub the now deaf one.

“The Detective won’t help me-” you can hear Chloe yelling at him in the background saying to give back her phone. You hear a bit of a scuffle, and can imagine Chloe shaking her head as she gets her phone.

“Sorry about that, Earth. Calling you is the only way I can think of to help Lucifer.” You can tell Chloe is saying that last part to him directly, and can just imagine his eye roll.

“What’s going on?”

“Our new case victim is Dean Cooper.”

“That LA real-estate tycoon guy?”

“Yup. It looks like he died having dinner with his possible killer. The killer looks to have shattered a champagne glass and stuck a shard in Dean's throat.”

“Ouch.”

“Ella’s still at the crime scene trying to piece the glass back together in order to get fingerprints.”

“Oh, Ella.” You smile and shake your head, “What a good little scientist.”

“Agreed, if a bit crazy.” Chloe holds in a laugh, “Well, Mr. Cooper was the one who owned the block that Lucifer’s nightclub is on and it seems like Mr. Eric Cooper, Dean's son, is pretty quick in reclaiming his father’s properties.”

“I see…So I’m guessing he’s suspect numero uno?”

“Yes, but this is why I’m calling you,” Chloe gives an audible stressful sigh, “I just...I can’t seem to keep my mind on this case with the court on Perry Smith right around the corner. Plus, with my mom flying in tonight and Dan being busy with a bomb case-”

“You don’t need to say anymore, Chlo. I’ll take care of this. Just send me the address to the crime scene and I’ll take over.”

“Thank you, Earth.” You can just hear the weight lift off your BFF’s shoulder, “I’ll text you the details right now. I owe you one.”

“This is what friends do for each other, Chloe. You should know that by now.” Before you hang up you can hear Lucifer in the background, “Hurry along, K9! Every minute I get closer to homelessness!”

“Proper thank you, here I come.”

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As you pull up to the crime scene you see the medics carrying away a body bag, aka Dean Cooper. So there will be no need to worry about seeing a dead man, but there is an angry British man heading straight towards you.

“Finally! Does my homelessness mean nothing to you?” Lucifer says, but despite being upset he still opens your car door and helps you out.

“Lucifer you’re, like, a zillionaire or whatever.” You nod your thanks and you both head inside the dead man's house, “I highly doubt you’d let yourself be ‘homeless’ for more than an hour, at most.”

“But this is LUX, K9.” You try to ignore Lucifer’s desperation and come up beside Ella, who was just about to complete the champagne glass puzzle.

“Annnd, that’s how we do it!” Ella manages to place the last piece perfectly, stands up and shoves her fist in front of your face, “Ta’vonlu!”

“A puzzle solver and a Trekkie?” You laugh and smile, “Ella, I’m liking you more and more each day.”

“Woohoo! Fellow Trekkie!” Ella’s hand goes from a fist to the Vulcan greeting and you return it. Lucifer’s eye roll is incredibly loud.

Ella gets back to work on scanning the glass for fingerprints and in the meantime, an officer hands you a folder of all info found about Dean Cooper. As you skim through the words you become disappointed, and impressed. It was amazing that a shark like Cooper had no record whatsoever.

“So, can we go to this baby shark now to arrest him and get my home back?” Lucifer stands in front of you, hands intertwined together in front of him.

“We don’t have any proof with which to arrest Eric.” You look at him as you hand the folder back to the officer.

“He has motive. That's all the proof you need!”

“Actually, you may have more than that!” Ella calls out and you go to her. She points to her laptop screen where it clearly states that Eric Cooper’s fingerprints were on the glass that killed his father.

“There you go! Come on chop chop!” Lucifer pushes you by the small of your back out the door and to your car, “We’ve got a baby shark to arrest!”

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You barley park and shut off the engine before Lucifer is out and heading towards the Cooper building, “Lucifer wait!”

“You know, you drive just as slow as the Detective?” Lucifer stops and waits for you to catch up.

“If by slow you mean ‘following traffic laws’ then yeah.” Lucifer just scoffs, “Look, Lucifer.” he looks at you with a bit of interest, he’s never heard you sound serious before.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, I do,” you lightly touch his arm, “but Chloe has told me how you get sometimes and let me tell you: threatening to tear this guy up or torture him is not going to help you get LUX back, or this case.”

“Very well.” He returns his hand to your lower back and guides you, “I solemnly promise that the man will remain unthreatened and unharmed.”

The sound of a crash and a car alarm blaring causes you both to stop and turn around.

Eric Cooper lays on top of some poor civilian’s car. His body bleeding from almost every pore.

“Not me.” Lucifer holds up his hands in fake surrender.

“Well, shit.”

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You did miss solving cases. Really, you did.

But this one was turning into a real sack of ass.

Eric Cooper was hospitalized for a full twenty-four hours before the hospital allowed his wife, Christi Cooper, to take him home.

A whole twenty-four hours closer to Lucifer's homelessness, and he would not shut up about it.

You and Lucifer arrive at the Cooper house to question Eric and Christi, but all you two got was another real estate shark’s name, Eleanor Bloom. Plus an extra case of nausea for both of you at the sappy love between Eric and Christi.

Eleanor, it turns out, was a real shark. Making sure Eric wasted no time in selling her that property that his father had been sitting on. That property in question was LUX, and even with Lucifer’s charm she was not giving up that land.

Which pissed Lucifer enough to abandon you with this case. Chloe offered to help, but with her father’s killer’s court so close there was no way you were going to burden her even more. You already swore you would solve this case for her, and you meant it.

You follow up on Eleanor's lead, alone, about some shady numbers found in her accountant's books that looked like someone was hiding money. Turns out that money went to some private investigator Dean had hired to investigate someone, but the man wouldn't tell you who. You had a hunch though.

Your hunch had to be put on hold though as one of your officers comes up to you. He says they got a call about an illegal party happening at a building that was supposed to be abandoned by now.

Of course he would.

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You stand before the “supposed to be abandoned” LUX nightclub with an entourage of your officers, and just sigh.

Here we go.

You have your men walk in first with you close behind, and you can hear the music cut off and people booing as soon as they see your men.

“Awww!” You hear Lucifer’s voice clearly over the crowd, “Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone! Don’t worry I’ll deal with the boys in blue.” Lucifer walks towards the officers, “You are the boys in blue, yes? The fun boys in blue aren’t due for another hour.” He chuckles and shows a wad of cash in front of your main guy, Officer Miller.

Miller just gives Lucifer a side smile and looks to his side. Lucifer follows his eye movement and his smile disappears as you walk up.

“K9?”

“I know him, Miller. I got it from here.” You ignore Lucifer and look to your officer.

“You’re sure ma’am?”

“Oh yeah.” Now you look at Lucifer as you pat Miller on the shoulder, “He’s harmless.” You don’t speak again until all the officers have left, “I got to say Lucifer, I’m disappointed.”

You think your eyes might be deceiving you, but Lucifer Morningstar actually looks ashamed. You don't know why, but you actually can’t stand to see him like that.

“I mean,” you throw your hands up and turn around a full 360, “this is the first time I come to your club and you’ve got no music playing, and no one dancing around with no worries?”

You smile at him, cross your arms and raise a brow, “Tisk tisk. I may have to leave a one-star review afterall.”

“Oh ho ho!” Lucifer's light returns in him, “Well, I can’t have that now can I?” He’s smiling ear to ear now, “TURN IT UP!”

The crowd cheers as the music comes back full blast. Everyone resumes their dancing, drinking, laughing, and you can’t help but laugh right along with them.

“K9!” You turn to Lucifer who gives you that beautiful smile, “I didn't know you had it in you!”

“There’s a lot you don't know about me, Lucifer.” You smile back at him.

“Evidently! Come on,” Lucifer grabs your arm and pulls you to the dance floor.

“Oh no, I really shou-”

“Come on, K9!” Lucifer laughs and drags you to the dance floor, “Show me all I don't know!”

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“Oh, now that’s interesting.” Linda watches you and Lucifer dance away together.

“What is?” Mrs. Charlotte Richards, well actually the body of Charlotte Richards that now belongs to the Goddess of all Creation [aka God’s ex-wife and Lucifer’s mother], looks down at the tiny doctor.

“Oh, nothing much.” Linda looks at her and gives a small smile before turning her attention back on you two, “I just thought of something I have to ask a patient of mine about.”

As Linda drinks her martini the Goddess follows her eye line sight and stares at you dancing with her son. Her eye twitches.

“My son was right about you, Doctor.” The Goddess smiles wickedly, “You are incredibly insightful.”

[azookiex3]

A Devil’s Love - Chapter 2

AN: This chapter is during Season 2 Episode 9!

Warnings: Swearing

Chapter 1: All Bad Things, I Promise

AO3

Fanfiction Net

Chapter 2: All I Don't Know

To say your first couple months back home was a walk in the park would be a big fat lie.

Nothing bad really happened. Well, except when your BFF got in that bad car accident and you swore up and down it had something to do with you, but she pushes you away and says she's fine and can't stand you and Lucifer taking the blame.

Why would Lucifer be taking the blame, you thought. So, you ask him. Like any sane person would do who was overprotective of their friends. If you ended up being wrong about this guy being “good” and “nice”, you had to get him away from Chloe.

But no. He's not bad. Just crazy. What with continuing with his “Devil” shtick and claiming it was one of his “Angel” brothers trying to take what his father, aka “God”, gave him in exchange for a favor.

And you thought you were crazy before, but it wasn't true for you, so why would it be true for him?

Oh, and after that whole fiasco poor Chloe finds out that her real father’s killer has been free all this time. No reprimanding, no worries. Just a cop killer who got to continue his life freely. Turned out the killer was Warden Perry Smith, and he was responsible for many set up kills. You remember the failure you felt when Smith managed to destroy his scent from your hounds. The bastard didn’t get far, though. Maze managed to easily capture him, and from then on became the LAPDs number one bounty hunter.

But, with all that bad came a lot of good. Not easily, of course. It's hard work trying to find a suitable building in the perfect location for your next veterinarian hospital. You, with the help of your trusty sidekick Alice Green, managed to find just that though.

Next, while you sorted out the building paperwork and searched for a good construction company, you had to find a place to live. That, thankfully, went much quicker then finding the next “Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic” building.

Chloe kept trying to convince you to move in with her instead of Maze, but you politely decline. You didn't want to be the one who made that badass fighter homeless. Besides, you like having your own space.

And to top all that off, you got your old job back as the Captain of the K9 division of the LAPD. You missed training your dogs & officers, plus having that paycheck, the paycheck from the “CoL VC” in NY, and the future paycheck of the next CoL building allowed you to not stress financially.

Currently, you were standing in “CoL VC #2” watching the progress come along. You smile as you see how well, and fast, things are going. If this keeps up, you'll be able to open up within the month.

Which means you and Alice need to start hiring people.

You sigh to yourself and rub your forehead, closing your eyes. First things first, you had to find someway to properly thank Lucifer for giving you the name of this construction company.

“They are a fantastic company! Did very fine work in my club. Why not come see for yourself tonight?” Lucifer looked at you like he looked at Alice the first day.

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and crossed your arms, building up a barrier.

“Oooh, playing hard to get are we?” He licked his lips and looked you up and down, “I like it!”

“Ok. This was obviously a bad idea.” You huffed and started to leave Chloe’s desk.

“Wait, K9!” You stopped and turned back towards him, “I’m sorry, truly,” he looked sincere and placed his right hand over his heart, “Here.” He grabbed the yellow sticky notes and a pen from Chloe’s desk and began to write.

“Just tell the owner that you’re with me,” He handed you the note and smiled, “He'll give you a large discount, I'm sure.”

You looked down at the note and couldn't help the thought of how beautiful Lucifer’s handwriting was, “Thank you, Lucifer.” You looked up to him and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“You’re quite welcome, my dear,” He gave you a genuine smile back, then turned flirtatious again, “Though I would like you to come to my club, so you can see what those constructors are really capable of. It’s so sad their talents will be wasted on a animal clinic.”

“Uh-huh.” You shook your head, still smiling, and walked away.

Your phone’s ringtone knocks you back to the present. The call says it’s Chloe, but when you answer it-

“SOME DADDY KILLER BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS!” Lucifer’s voice blares through your phone so loud that the workers around turn towards you and you swear your ear is bleeding.

“Sooo, you think the perfect way to stop this ‘Daddy Killer Boy’ is to make me go deaf? Well, you’re doing very well so far,” you bring your phone to your none deaf ear and rub the now deaf one.

“The Detective won’t help me-” You can hear Chloe yelling at him in the background saying to give him back her phone. You hear a bit of a scuffle, and can physically imagine Chloe shaking her head as she gets her phone.

“Sorry about that, Earth. Calling you is the only way I can think of to help Lucifer,” You can tell Chloe is saying that last part to him directly, and can just imagine his eye roll.

“What’s going on?”

“Our new case victim is Dean Cooper.”

“That LA real-estate tycoon guy?”

“Yup. It looks like he died having dinner with his possible killer. The killer looks to have shattered a champagne glass and stuck a shard in Dean's throat.”

“Ouch.”

“Ella’s still at the crime scene trying to piece the glass back together in order to get fingerprints.”

“Oh, Ella,” You smile and shake your head, “What a good little scientist.”

“Agree, if a bit crazy,” Chloe holds in a laugh, “Well Mr. Cooper was the one who owned the block that Lucifer’s nightclub is on and it seems like Mr. Eric Cooper, Dean's son, is pretty quick in reclaiming his father’s properties.”

“I see…So I’m guess he’s suspect numero one?”

“Yes, but this is why I’m calling you,” Chloe gives an audible stressful sigh, “I just...I can’t seem to keep my mind on this case with the court on Perry Smith right around the corner. Plus, with my mom flying in tonight and Dan being busy with a bomb case-”

“You don’t need to say anymore, Chlo. I’ll take care of this. Just send me the address to the crime scene and I’ll take over.”

“Thank you, Earth,” You can just hear the weight lift off your BFF’s shoulder, “I’ll text you the details right now. I owe you one.”

“This is what friends do for eachother, Chloe. You should know that by now,” before you hang up you can hear Lucifer in the background, “Hurry along, K9! Every minute I get closer to homelessness!”

“Proper thank you, here I come.”

As you pull up to the crime scene you see the medics carrying away a body bag, aka Dean Cooper. So, there will be no need to worry about seeing a dead man, but there is an angry british man heading straight towards you.

“Finally! Does my homelessness mean nothing to you?” Lucifer says, but despite being upset he still opens your car door and helps you out.

“Lucifer you’re, like, a zillionaire or whatever,” you nod your thanks and you both head inside the dead man's house, “I highly doubt you’d let yourself be ‘homeless’ for more than an hour, at most.”

“But this is LUX, K9.” You try to ignore Lucifer’s desperation and come up besides Ella, who was just about to complete the champagne glass puzzle.

“Annnd, that’s how we do it!” Ella manages to place the last piece perfectly, stands up and shoves her fist in front of your face, “Ta’vonlu!”

“A puzzle solver and a Trekkie?” You laugh and smile, “Ella, I’m liking you more and more each day.”

“Woohoo! Fellow Trekkie!” Ella’s hand goes from a fist to the Vulcan greeting and you return it. The face Lucifer gives the two of you is pure confusion.

Ella gets back to work on scanning the glass for fingerprints, and in the meantime an officer hands you a folder on all info found about Dean Cooper. As you skim through the words you became disappointed, and impressed. It was amazing that a shark like Cooper had no record whatsoever.

“So, can we go to this baby shark now to arrest him and get my home back?” Lucifer stands in front of you, hands intertwined together in front of him.

“We don’t have any proof with which to arrest Eric,” you look to him as you hand the folder back to the officer.

“He has motive. That's all the proof you need!”

“Actually, you may have more than that,” Ella calls out and you go to her. She points to her laptop screen where it clearly states that Eric Coopers fingerprints were on the glass that killed his father.

“There you go! Come on chop chop,” Lucifer pushes you by the small of your back out the door and to your car, “We’ve got a baby shark to arrest!”

You barley park and shut off the engine before Lucifer is out and heading towards the Cooper building, “Lucifer wait!”

“You know, you drive just as slow as the Detective?” Lucifer stops and waits for you to catch up.

“If slow you mean ‘following traffic laws’ then yeah.” Lucifer just scoffs, “Look, Lucifer,” he looks to you with a bit of interest, he’s never heard you sound serious before.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, I do,” You lightly touch his arm, “But Chloe has told me how you get sometimes and let me tell you: threatening to tear this guy up or torture him is not going to help you get LUX back, or this case.”

“Very well,” he returns his hand to your lower back and guides you, “I solemnly promise that the man will remain unthreatened and unharmed.”

The sound of a crash and a car alarm blaring cause you both to stop and turn around.

Eric Cooper laid on top of some poor civilian’s car. His body bleeding from almost every pore.

“Not me.” Lucifer holds up his hands in fake surrender.

“Well, shit.”

You did miss solving cases. Really, you did.

But this one was turning into a real sack of ass.

Eric Cooper was hospitalized for a full twenty four hours before the hospital allowed his wife, Christi Cooper, to take him home.

A whole twenty four hours closer to Lucifer's homelessness, and he would not shut up about it.

You and Lucifer arrive at the Cooper house to question Eric and Christi, but all you two got was another real estate shark’s name, Eleanor Bloom. Plus an extra case of nausea for both of you at the sappy love between Eric and Christi.

Eleanor, it turns out, was a real shark. Making sure Eric wasted no time in selling her that property that his father had been sitting on. That property in question was LUX, and even with Lucifer’s charm she was not giving up that land.

Which pissed Lucifer enough to abandoned you with this case. Chloe offered to help, but with her father’s killer’s court so close there was no way you were going to burden her even more. You already swore you would solve this case for her, and you meant it.

You follow up on Eleanor's lead, alone, about some shady numbers found in her accountant's books that looked like someone was hiding money. Turns out that money went to some private investigator Dean had hired to investigate someone, but the man wouldn't tell you who. You had a hunch though.

Your hunch had to be put on hold though as one of your officers comes up to you. He says they got a call about an illegal party happening at a building that was supposed to be abandoned by now.

Of course he would.

You stand before the “suppose to be abandoned” LUX nightclub with an entourage of your officers, and just sigh.

Here we go.

You have your men walk in first with you close behind, and you can hear the music cut off and people booing as soon as they see your men.

“Awww,” You hear Lucifer’s voice clearly over the crowd, “Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone! Don’t worry I’ll deal with the boys in blue.” Lucifer walks towards the officers, “You are the boys in blue, yes? The fun boys in blue aren’t due for another hour.” He chuckles and shows a wad of cash in front of your main guy, Officer Miller.

Miller just gives Lucifer a side smile and looks to his side. Lucifer follows his eye movement and his smile disappears as you walk up.

“K9?”

“I know him, Miller. I got it from here.” You ignore Lucifer and look to your officer.

“You’re sure ma’am?”

“Oh yeah,” now you look at Lucifer as you pat Miller on the shoulder, “He’s harmless.” You don’t speak again until all the officers have left, “I got to say Lucifer, I’m disappointed.”

You think your eyes might be deceiving you, but Lucifer Morningstar actually looks ashamed and distraught. You don't know why, but you actually can’t stand to see him like that.

“I mean,” you throw your hands up and turn around a full 360, “This is the first time I come to your club and you’ve got no music playing, and no people dancing around with no worries?”

You smile at him, cross your arms and raise a brow, “Tisk tisk. I may have to leave a one star review afterall.”

“Oh ho ho!” Lucifer's light returns in him, “Well, I can’t have that now can I?” He’s smiling ear to ear now, “TURN IT UP!”

The crowd cheers as the music comes back full blast. Everyone resumes their dancing, drinking, laughing, and you can’t help but to laugh right along with them.

“K9!” You turn to Lucifer who gives you that beautiful smile, “I didn't know you had it in you!”

“There’s a lot you don't know about me, Lucifer,” You smile back at him.

“Evidently! Come on,” Lucifer grabs your arm and pulls you to the dance floor.

“Oh no no no! I don’t-”

“Come on, K9!” Lucifer laughs and drags you to the dance floor, “Show me all I don't know!”

“Oh, now that’s interesting.” Dr. Linda Martin was watching you and Lucifer dance away together.

“What is?” Mrs. Charlotte Richards, well actually the body of Charlotte Richards that now belongs to the Goddess of all Creation [aka God’s ex wife and Lucifer’s mother], looks down at the tiny doctor.

“Oh, nothing much,” Linda looks at her and gives a small smile before turning her attention back on you two, “I just thought of something I have to ask a patient of mine about.”

As Linda drinks her martini the Goddess follows her eye line sight and stares at you dancing with her son. Her eye twitches.

“My son was right about you, Doctor,” the Goddess smiles wickedly, “You are incredibly insightful.”

Tag List: @insanity-is-always-fun @anushay1998 @emiwrites3reads @i-am-canada-13

[jq37]

Have you done breakdowns of the last few episodes yet? If not 👀

**spoilers for a new york wedding**

Prologue: I had a partially free day today (as in the day I started writing this which is now two days ago) so I decided to swing by Central Park and check out the Bethesda Fountain where I saw both a proposal and a man on a segway with a live snake around his neck so, yeah, New York is just Like That.

"Here's a possibly magic crown. Why don't we ask the butt stuff guy about that?"

The face Brennan makes when Emily says, "I used to do colonics at the salon," is great. Like, "We are two minutes into this ep, your sentence isn't even complete, and I already can't handle it."

So they get out of the sewers and Bethesda Fountain has been attacked (which is a shame just aesthetically because, having now seen it in person, it's a really pretty fountain). Em is devastated and explains that the fountain is like a Important magical symbol of good change and a source of divine purification magic.

Another side note about the fountain: There are these little cherub figures around it in additional to the Angel. I wonder if those are sentient too. Also-also, the promenade across from the fountain has these cool murals of the seasons. My point is, there's a lot of fodder for possible lore just in that small area of the park.

Misty finds ashes by the fountain (concerning) and wipes it on Kugrash's fur (rude).  

I love that Emily thought Pete was pouring one out (one being one bag of cocaine).

"Sophie, your magic is that you're a wonderful person and you jump really good."

"The Bread Wedding"

Kudos to Brennan for all the wide range of crazy voices he had to do in this ep. Don Confetti. The Golem. Perry the Pigeon. That can't be easy on the throat.

Sophie is fully ready to fistfight Don Confetti over their last names which is wild for a lot of reasons we're not gonna get into.

So Brennan has everyone roll a Wis save and everyone did OK except I think Ricky. Brennan never explains why he had them roll that. Concerning. I'm wondering now if it was something that would have needed a nat 20 to save from it or something where the people who saved didn't realized they saved from it and the people who didn't are just ticking time bombs or sleeper agents or something else awful.

Pete is such a dangerous friend to be around when you're emotionally compromised. His solution to everything is drugs.

"It's an off-white!" --Misty upon being called out for wearing white to a wedding.

Brennan has Perry go on a wild 39 second monologue about relationships that Pete interrupts by stuffing drugs down his gullet--see again my previous bullet about Pete.

Sophie notices that a lot of the pixies recognize her which pm confirms her brother is In This which, to use the word of the day again, *Concerning*.

Emily having Sophie get really emotional but also struggling to keep the laughter out of her face is always super funny to watch.

So Pete finds a table of vampires. Brennan spends a couple of minutes describing them before he gets to it outright but it's pretty immediately clear they're vamps. Well, vamps plus a suspicious older guy and a girl (Melissa) who seems to be playing Renfield to the vamps. Getting high so they can drink her blood and get high. Pete brilliantly confirms this by getting the suspicious guy (Rob, as far as we know) to go off on Politics and then deep mind-reading the girl. That's one of the most clever RP things I've seen a player do. Pete also sees that Rob is hanging out with the vamps but he doesn't seem to be one.

Pete fails his wild magic check but nothing happened that we know of. A lot of stuff on the wild magic table is situational though (like the reincarnate spell from Bloodkeep with the potion Sohkbarr drank).

Rob implies he knows what happened with Pete's dad. Pete goes into a tailspin, as if he isn't constantly in one.

Everyone dancing so they can talk in public instead of just, like, having a sidebar. Just that entire sequence is peak comedy.

Ricky, the good boy, is dancing with his pigeon date while everyone else is mystery solving (or, in Soph's case, crying in a closet or something).

Rob is supposedly in finance. Last time there was a character involved in finance/banking in D20 it was the whole KVX fiasco in FH.

"Did I use up my favor? I could have had anything in the world."

Sophie upon seeing anything young woman in any kind of situation immediately springs into action, ready to drag them out by any means necessary. I love her.

Robert works at a hedge fund and Kug recognizes him. Brennan explains how he knows him in a very vague way which the rest of the table clocks instantly. Murph asks if Rob knows Gabriela. He does. Who the hell is Gabriela, Misty and I wonder.

Emily goes galaxy brain and theorizes that the bad guys are laundering souls which is equal parts bonkers and brilliant. The camera unhelpfully *doesn't* cut back to Brennan so I can attempt to read his DM poker face. I am reminded of Emily wondering if [redacted] was in the sword in a recent ep of Naddpod and Murph just deciding that they were on the spot because it was cooler than what he had planned. I know you can't win at DnD but I think Emily is winning at DnD.

I mentioned this in passing I think last recap, but Pete's magic is really interesting to me because Pete doesn't know what his character sheet looks like and he's not someone like Kingston or Ricky who's been doing their thing for a while and knows that they can do and what the things he can do are called. So Ally has to get a little creative about activating abilities (like True Strike in this ep) without being too meta, if that makes sense.

Kug knows Rob from a while ago (from the 80's he later says) but he doesn't seem to have aged. The group is thinking vampire, but he wasn't drinking blood in the memory Pete saw. Suspicious. Put a pin in that with everything else on my conspiracy board.

Misty: Eyyyy Macarena!

Kug kisses the pigeon. Sure.

Misty/Siobhan also does a clever thing and suggests taking a selfie with the vamp table in the background to see who shows up. Only Melissa and Rob do, so they're not vamps for sure.

So they go back to Kingston's place and he, Pete, and Sophie cook for everyone which has basically nothing really to do with the plot but I think it was a nice character beat for them.

Kingston and Misty fought a mummy on Long Island back in the day. As you do. Sidenote, when I was in Central Park today (two days ago), I passed by a big-ass obelisk that apparently exists and that I am *certain* Brennan has lore for, even if it doesn't come up.

Misty, a very wealthy Broadway star: If you pay for the Metropolitan Museum, you're a Goddamn fool.

Sophie had not put together that Misty is a fairy before now and I was like ??? for a second but, actually, with the info she has, that's not necessarily the conclusion she would draw. She could just be a really short lady with magic. It's been that kind of week.

Kingston presses Kug on how he knows Rob and Kug reluctantly confesses that HE USED TO BE A GUY. Zac blindly guesses that he was a stockbroker which is ALSO CORRECT.

"movie horse breeder" is such a specific job to pull out of thin air.

Siobhan, making a choice: Let me tell you about my good friend, John Wilkes Booth.

Brennan's total break of composure when Zac/Ricky says, "I wasn't always a firefighter." Zac lowkey has the best comic timing of everyone on the squad. He's just really understated about it.

Anyway, there are levels to this. How long has Kug been a rat??? I feel like it must have been a while because of all the weird ass stuff that he does. Also, he excuses a lot of his behaviors due to being a rat considering he's actually a rat-MAN, emphasis on the man. The stock broker thing surprised me more considering that Kug is introduced doing some pretty altruistic, non-stockbroker-y things. Did Kug piss off a homeless witch and get Beauty and the Beast-ed? He never actually answered the question about how he knows Rob since everyone got sidetracked by the fact that he used to be a whole-ass HUMAN MAN. Did Rob curse him for less moral lesson reasons? What's going on here????

Esther and Ale have been researching. The grey baby is apparently named Nod, just like the place, and it (it specifically, not him or her) like the ruler of there.

There's this whole group bit Brennan, Ally, and Siobahn do about how you can take the L train really far and then catch a shuttle bus that can only be seen by the pure of heart to get to Nod and it's really funny but how funny would it be if they actually tried to do it in a dire moment and also Ricky could do it for sure send tweet.

Kingston is trying so-so hard to keep everyone on task all episode. Bless him.

Kug asks Esther about her mom, which surprises her. He says they used to be friends (Did *SHE* curse him????). Esther says she hasn't seen her in a long time, since she was 5 or 6. Of course, it's easy to want to connect this to the Gabriela he was asking about earlier but we'll see about that. I think I saw some people speculating that he's Esther's dad which I'm even more skeptical about considering what we learn later but wouldn't that be wild?

Ricky decides to shoot his shot with Esther. His brain is full of love, determination, civic responsibility, and absolutely nothing else, bless his golden retriever heart.

Brennan as Esther drops the best stealth joke (though, it has a very high likelihood of crossing from joke to plot point) in D20 so far with the Imperial Axiom/Sinatra's Law explanation. It was a full, "Wait. What? Oh!" Big gold star for Brennan for that one. I had to take a second and recover from that when I heard it the first time.  Beyond the joke, it also seems like a likely hook for the eventual Big Bad of the campaign. First NY, then the world, you know?

The fact that the highways go against the grain of magic leylines of NY in this world is such a good detail and it makes a lot of sense intuitively.

Zac breaks Brennan again with the, "Traffic's really bad," comment.

Please let Ricky's big dumb puppy self win over Esther. "It's really hard for me." Riiiickyyyy.

So Kingston goes to see Willy, the Williamsburg golem about Lazarus from the Bible (New Testament). Aren't golems de facto Jewish? I think. I am correct. However, as much as Willy doesn't know about the New Testament, he *does* know about the Statue of Liberty which is convenient because--shoutout to the people who figured it out in advance--Lazarus is not Lazarus from the Bible. It's Emma Lazarus who wrote the poem on the Statue of Liberty. This of course means that I need to do a close read of that poem at some point but not today baby because I need more information before I start going full Pepe Silvia. Sidenote: What a great place for Kingston to be when figuring out that info. Close enough that Willy can just point out the statue. It's cinematic. Fantastic.

(Also, I made a post about the fact that Siobahn just knew Emma's name off the top of her head, but when it cut to the other side of the table, Emily's eyes got all big too).

Emily gets a nat20 which RUINS her plans because she runs into Isabella aka the woman her husband left her for. They have an adult Means Girls stand-off where Sophie finds out they're getting married (or at least having a ceremony bc Dale didn't send her divorce papers yet). Big ups to Emily for staying in character and ditching all the sleuthing she was going to do because there is no way Sophie would be stable enough for that to be her top priority at the moment (even though I really wanted her to do all that stuff!)

Also, I'm looking forward to watching Sophie rip her to shreds when she inevitably turns out to be a succubus/demon/fiend/whatever. Honestly, she can just barfight her and I'd be satisfied.  

So Misty goes home and finds a present waiting for her. It's a big ass mirror. Correction. It's a big ass mirror that Titania immediately uses to angry Skype her. Yikes.

It seems like her shoes of Titania are literally that, stolen from Titania (love that Titania was barefoot in her character art btw). I know they let her cast a certain spell in an earlier episode but I'm wondering why she stole them. Maybe they helped her cross over from Faerie (which happened ~400 years ago we ind out)?

Titania is pissed that Misty is stealing "glamour" that should be hers (via playing her in the new show). Glamour in the fairy sense is like a disguise. Glamour in the DnD sense is a fey-based bard option (which is the class I'm guessing Titania will be if they have to fight her). Curious to get a deeper explanation on that later.  

Misty is able to cover back up the mirror but she breaks a hip in the process because of Titania's mojo and has to call Kingston. I already said this but I love their relationship.

(Sidenote, I meant to mention this earlier, but I think whiffs of the undead came up a couple of times in this ep which makes me wonder if the mummy situation Kingston mentioned is going to come back).

"Please, use any one of the guestrooms."

I FORGOT ABOUT KUG'S STUFF AT THE END

Ugh, this ep is an emotional roller coaster

"Wherever you are Rat Jesus, know that I love you. From Wally." What a good boy. 

Everyone reacting to Murph's reaction to Wally before they Find Out is like, an experience. It's like that airpods meme.

OK, I'm not going to go through a whole play by play because nothing I could say would be better than watching the scene but I guess Murph/Bren decided in for a penny, in for a pound because we find out via a conversation between Wally and his businessman brother David that he is Kug's SON. HIS SON. S O N.

Wally is convinced that their dad wouldn't have just left them. David thinks Wally is being naive. I want to die.

Everyone around the table except maybe Ally is so visibly upset at this new information and Ally goes, "FUCK!" at the end so you know we all express emotions in different ways.

God, it's so sad! And I'm not gonna say, "I knew it!" because I didn't. I super didn't. But when Wally was introduced (man that scene hits differently now) I remember thinking, this is such an oddly specific NPC. Like, you know when you're playing a game and the stuff you can click is slightly better rendered and you can kind of tell what you should focus on and what's background art? That's how he felt.

Anyway, again, I'm sad. (GMYeah!.gif)

Watching *OVER* you Murph. OVER you. That's how you make it not creepy!

Meanwhile, Pete lets a bunch of bug monsters out of his dream into real New York City which, tbh, I'm not surprised. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen. Pete is exactly the worst kind of person to be the dream avatar in terms of being responsible.

I love that Siobhan is like, “I have a broken hip” as if all but one of them don’t have literal magic powers. That’s a very fixable problem compared to other stuff they’ve dealt with that day alone. 

Anyway next time, a wasp centaur (thanks, I hate it) and a nat 20! See you then.

[kl-writes]

This chapter doesn’t deal directly with the second warning, but the situation is close enough that I’m marking it like it is.

Chapter 3: January 29th, 2080    

Chapter 3 Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con

It was supposed to be a fun night on the town. It had been awhile since Perianwyr was in Chicago. He wanted to go out on the town, hear some of the local talent. Maybe there’d be something worth picking up- all the corps in the music biz wouldn’t know good music if it swooped down and ate them. He was a little hungry, too, so he headed down to an old bar.

Debevic’s was still in business, after all this time. The CZ was clear to enter now, and most of the staff had been caught in the Zone anyways. The owner’s son survived, and he had started building the restaurant and club back up.

“Evan Perry” was a bit too obvious these days. Peri smiled. It had been a while since “Periwinkle” was on the scene, and anyone who’d recognize her was in Seattle or dead. Perianwyr flew down to a back alley a few blocks away, and shifted into Periwinkle. A human woman in her twenties, blonde with blue eyes. Blue hair today, though. Just in case.

He ingratiated himself easily with the bar’s patrons. The staff was still a riot- Peri knew better than some of his elders and “betters” about what respect really was. He preferred the insults and scoffs to someone with a smile and rehearsed line.

The meal was small- a half-pound soyburger. Enough to tide him over without making it obvious what he was. He’d get most of his calorie intake from the alcohol anyways.

“So what’s your name?” a young elf male with violet contacts and black hair slid up to the bar next to Peri.

“Periwinkle,” he smiled at the elf. “You?”

“They call me Goth Gecko.”

“Oh? Was it your mom or your dad who chose it?”

“Neither! I chose my name, same as you.”

Peri started. Did he-

“Periwinkle’s not your real name, right? Relax, I’m a mage, too.”

Oh, right. Perianwyr hadn’t been using a ‘mundane’ aura for Periwinkle. A slight hermetic one, in case he needed to beat feet in a stealthy way.

“That doesn’t mean I’m a runner,” Peri said, cocking his head.

“Didn’t say I was a runner, either.”

Peri took a sip of his margarita, “Then what do you do for a living, Gecko?”

“Well,” he said, eyeing Peri’s drink. “Mostly odd jobs.”

“That sure sounds like a runner.”

“I’m exclusive.”

“Lots of runners are exclusive.”

“Oh, sure. I’m more of an employee or a servant. No shadowrunner’s perfectly loyal to their master. But I think you’d know more about that than me, Peri.”

And there it was. So much for the evening. Peri hoped that this Gecko guy didn’t expect to take him out just because he was in metahuman form.

Peri scoffed, “Well, it’s certainly better than belonging to a master. And who are yours, then? The Azzies? Ghostwalker? Maybe someone me and Kyle pissed off way back when?”

“Number three, darling,” Gecko leaned in towards Peri. “It’s a matter of professional pride for my boss. He’d like you alive, unfortunately.”

“Oh, well good luck with that,” Peri stood up. “Shall we take this outside, then?”

Peri suddenly felt weak in the knees. He started to fall, and Gecko caught him. Gecko gave him a wide smile, “Of course, darling. It seems like you’ve had too much. How about I bring you to my car?”

Peri started to retort, to cast, but was hit with a coughing fit. He spit up some of his drink onto the floor, along with some thick blue goo. Peri went pale. Blue-227 wasn’t supposed to have an effect while they were in metahuman form. That’s what everyone had been saying.

Gecko began to lead the helpless dragon out of the bar, “Don’t worry your pretty little head. My boss has an antidote for this particular concoction. Just focus on holding your current form and cooperate.”

Peri wasn’t able to focus on anything. He felt cut off from the astral plane altogether. He should’ve passed out and returned to his true form, but even as his energy was fading, his form seemed to lock. Only a few beings had the ability to inflict that kind of curse, and Blackwing wasn’t one of them. The Azzies weren’t supposed to have magic like that, not anymore.

There were a lot of things that weren’t supposed to be happening.

As he was brought out of Debevic’s, he made eye contact with his waitress. She was on the phone with someone. Who the heck still used a flip phone?

Gecko walked them around the back to the parking lot. He took care to arrange themselves like a nice, intimate couple. Peri couldn’t do much but follow along, as the weak elf’s grip on him felt like steel. Peri breathed carefully, trying to center himself enough to make some sort of spell.

They reached a plain black Americar. Not even an armored muscle car? Peri felt a bit miffed. Gecko opened the door, and helped his “date” into the back seat. As he walked around to the front, Peri heard the sounds of motorcycles tearing into the parking lot.

Gecko scoffed, “I thought you worked alone these days. Unfortunate for your friends.” The man drew a weapon from inside his coat and stalked off. Peri tried to pull himself up, but his mind was completely clouded. It felt like a thousand sandbags were weighing his back down, now.

The night lit up with the sound of automatic fire and shotguns. Peri shook his head, as each shot drove a hammer further into it. He heard the sudden WHOOSH of astral space opening, but did not feel the spirit that was summoned. He was completely cut off.

Then, all was silent. Peri heard steps coming towards the car and tensed. He couldn’t do anything to fight back, but he was damned if he wouldn’t try. The door opened, and before him was a short, thin woman with spiky black hair. The late Johnny 99’s wife, Becky 99.

Peri gaped, then his stomach leaped into his throat again and he threw up on Gecko’s car seat.

“She’s drugged,” Becky called out. The woman chanted, and let a detox spell into Peri. Some of the weight lifted, but the healing magic was moving Ithrough him like molasses. “Sonya, get the medkit and charcoal! This drek’s some weird shit.”

Peri finally heaved himself into a sitting position and faced his rescuer. “I- thanks.”

“Hey, take it easy. Do you know what he drugged you with?”

Yes. “No, I didn’t even know he drugged me until he tried to take me to his car.”

“Drek. Yeah, I haven’t seen anything like this before, chummer. Usually my magic’s more than enough.”

“It’s okay.” Peri looked around. Gecko was on the ground, dead. So were a few women in leather jackets, the same black and green colors as Becky. His eyes widened “What? You shouldn’t have come. I’m glad, but- I’m sorry. They shouldn’t have-“

“What, you ain’t worth it? They shouldn’t have died for you?” Becky shook her head. “It’s what we do. And, uh, don’t worry too much about it, girl. We’re a bit more resilient than we appear.” She gave Peri an odd grin.

“Okay.” Peri steadied himself as another wave of nausea swept over him. He fought to keep his stomach down.

One of Becky’s compatriots- must have been Sonya- trotted over with a briefcase-sized medkit and a glass. She handed the glass off to Peri.

He drank from it. Charcoal and water. He gagged.

“Sorry,” said Sonya, “This is the quickest way to clear the system if magic won’t do the trick.”

Peri spewed over the back of Gecko’s car. But finally, he felt connected to the astral plane again. He looked over at the women. “Thank you. Really.”

Hold on a second, was Becky always a Mantis spirit?

“You got a place to stay?” asked Becky.

“Well, I was just here for the show-“

“Look, come hang out at our place, then. No men around, just us girls.”

Peri smiled. This was probably the worst person for Perianwyr to have run into. Even if Becky was helping him now, he thanked the Totems, the Passions, and whoever the fuck was out there that he had been in dragon form when he kidnapped Johnny 99’s girlfriend.

“Okay, sure.”

Even though Peri was around friends at the Desolation Angels’ bar, he kept assensing his drink for any sign of toxins. Just copious amounts of alcohol. He was too on edge to let himself get drunk, so he kept to virgin drinks to allay suspicion.

He started talking with Becky. She and the Angels were based out of the Zone, and they did what they could to help the homeless, and to keep people in the Zone safe. Especially the women- with the Bugs gone, now all the sadists went back to their usual victims. She talked about how she used to be a runner, and shared some stories with Peri that Peri already knew about. Peri shared a few of his running tales, but was careful. Stuck to some of the things he and his partner did back in Wales. Just in case.

He couldn’t help but stare at Becky’s wedding ring. It hung on a chain around her neck. She noticed the look, “I don’t want to talk about him today, so don’t ask.”

“Sorry, it’s just- I lost mine, too.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was years ago. The anniversary’s coming up, that’s all.”

She nodded, fingering the ring, “I hear you. We can find new families, but the memories won’t go away.”

Perianwyr sighed, “No. That’s our burden, I guess.”

“Burden?” Becky smiled softly at the blue-haired woman. “I wouldn’t give them up for anything.”

Perianwyr gaped at her. Did Becky really know what it was like to be connected to someone, to have your heart and their heart strung together, beating as one? Feeling as one? She had to- Perianwyr knew she had, all those years back. “You don’t feel sad at all?” he had to chew his lip to keep from spewing fire breath. “Did he mean that little to you?”

“No, no!” Becky said, “Sorry, I’ve had time to come to terms with his death. I didn’t mean you had to come to terms with yours- closure takes time. And yes- I still feel sad when I miss him. I think I always will feel that way.”

Perianwyr nodded. Becky 99 was only a fraction of his age, but she was still so much older than him.

[rwbyremnants]

WARNINGS: Neon/Weiss hints. Also Neptune in this chapter. Bumbleby. VERY harsh argument.

HAPPY BOXING DAY! And seriously we know that the argument was pretty rough but like, damn. Something had to break. Still no Freezerburn; it‘s coming eventually, we promise!

=Chapter 30

Neptune was persistent. That could be one way someone would describe him if they were to see him where he currently stood, outside one of the smaller sushi restaurants in the city. It took him a while to get there since Nashville wasn't his home town, but he'd made sure to schedule his day of album signings so he had time to spare for lunch. And even made sure to wear a hat and sunglasses to hide his identity.

And why? In the hopes of meeting Weiss Schnee once again to talk about the upcoming Beach Fest. At least, that's what he told people. There was really more motive than that, which was more obvious if anyone caught him holding the single rose he'd bought specially. White, of course, to match her whole “purity” theme. Nervously adjusting his jacket again, he anxiously looked down the street to try and catch a glimpse of her.

Unaware that she was approaching from behind.

"Who's this loser?" a voice said from over his shoulder. "Look at him, standing around outside in sunglasses. Almost like he thinks he's some kind of rock star."

The sudden voice made him almost leap out his skin, quickly spinning around to face her. But soon that nervous smile turned into a smug grin as he tilted his head. "And who's this pipsqueak? Gosh, she seems like a know-it-all, huh?"

"Maybe she does know it all." The pipsqueak in question was clad in a light, airy yellow sundress and a straw hat, with yellow purse and shoes to match; something that didn't really suit her usual aesthetic, but didn't look bad on her at all. Her hip was out to one side with her hand perched on it, a vague smirk on her lips. "Hi."

"We meet again, Snow Angel." He smirked right back at her. Although, that smirk didn't take long to turn into a softer smile when he brought out the hand he'd hastily hidden behind him, the one with the white rose. Time to put his plan into action. "I totally found this like, on my way here. And it reminded me of you, so I totally picked it myself. One hundred percent."

"Oh, totally," Weiss laughed, taking it from him. "And where's the pocketknife that perfectly clipped the bottom of it in this diagonal fashion?" Her other hand waved to demonstrate the remarkably clean cut, like a game show hostess revealing a prize.

"Are you crazy?! You can't carry a deadly weapon like that in public! A knife is so much more dangerous than a gun!" But he laughed regardless, handing it over to her eventually, before gesturing a hand toward the main door. "Shall we, my lovely assistant?"

One of her eyebrows raised. "Oh, you are definitely the assistant. I am the queen." However, she did take his arm for her to lead her into the establishment. Some niceties had to be observed.

The place seemed to be an average sushi restaurant. There were lots of stools situated around a long conveyor belt that led around the restaurant itself, along with a few booths for those who didn’t want to serve themselves in that style. Instinct told him to choose the booth since it was secluded; less chance of them being noticed. But Weiss knew the area better than him.

"Alright then, queeny. Where do we sit?"

"Gentleman's choice," she told him casually. But she looked very bemused at the entire situation. Inordinately bemused.

"Oh, I'm gentle, am I?" That was exaggerated with a sly wink and a smirk. Foolishly, however, he'd completely forgotten that would be invisible behind the glasses. But in the end, that instinct took over. "Let's go for a booth. Never been to a sushi place before, but it'll be less obvious, right?"

Weiss's steps hesitated as she approached the booth in the corner, and a woman nearly ran into her from thinking the way would be clear once Weiss had moved along. "You've… never had sushi before? Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, we could find somewhere else…"

"No! No no, god, no!" he quickly responded, sitting down on one side as he slid into the booth, holding his hand out and waving to dismiss those concerns. "Hell no, I mean, no I've never had it before but, that doesn't mean I don't wanna try! Y'know me, I love new experiences."

"Oh, yes," she laughed sarcastically as she dropped into the booth. "In our forty years of friendship, I've come to know that above all else, Neptune Vasilias is adventurous."

"Hey cut that out, I don't wanna feel old yet." But regardless, Neptune seemed to be enjoying the banter. First thing was first, he took one of the nearby menus, looking through the various categories and descriptions. If anything, it served as a needed distraction. Though he was normally so confident, he actually hadn't a clue where to start with Weiss.

"So… uh, I saw you on SNL." It was a better place than any. "I watched it. Was pretty awesome, you were really funny. That gag with you licking the donut! Man, you killed me."

"Glad you caught that," Weiss said, glancing down the menu. A knowing look swept over her whille watching his ill-concealed confusion at the menu, but she decided to keep to herself about that for now. "Always nice to have a fan - especially when it's a fan I'm a fan of."

That made his smile grow. So far, so good; he seemed to be doing rather well. "Why, I'm flattered. I'll have to let you know if I'm live on TV at some point, too – oh, I’ll be on Lisa Lavender like you were a few weeks back."

Nodding, she flipped the menu over, arched her eyebrows at some of the prices and options, and made a few mental notes. Then she pulled the glass of complimentary water closer.

"Did you see who the other guest was on that episode? Our fellow Beach Fest-er."

Tilting his head at first, it seemed to have slipped his memory. That was until he gave a small nod as he remembered. "Oh, yeah, Little Miss Laser Raver. Was she really that nuts backstage?"

"Oh, she's definitely… pretty intense," Weiss told him with a small, secret smile. Then she cleared her throat. "But not such a bad person, really. Just hyper and flirty."

"You're telling me! I swear I heard some rumor she was dating two guys from 'BRNZ' at the same time. Then a girl or something? I mean, make up your mind," he attempted to joke. Obviously Weiss had more reliable knowledge than his media speculation.

"Hey, perhaps she's just weighing her options.” Both of Weiss's arms folded over her chest. “She's pretty publicly open about how she doesn't mind flirting with anyone and everyone, so if some guy dated her expecting for her to be a one-man girl or something, they're the stupid one."

His smile started to vanish as he brought the menu back up – as if it were a shield. Now he felt like he’d really stepped in it, without meaning to, since she had corrected him so fast. Clearing his throat after a while, he seemed to want to change the subject.

"S-So… how's the new album coming?"

"Great. I mean, we're in the same business, so you have to know. But now you have me curious: what would you say if I dated two guys at the same time, and then a girl, and was now coming out to eat with you? Just for fun."

There was no pause between the answering of his question and her follow-up to the previous subject. Swallowing, Neptune really was caught off guard. He didn't expect to have something he thought was so trivial come back to bite him. Not this soon, at least. In the end, he lowered the menu.

"Okay, I get it, I was a jerk for assuming stuff. And she can date whoever she wants, obviously."

"Good. You can be taught; I like that quality in those with whom I associate myself." After looking at the menu for a moment, she glanced up at his put-out expression and sighed, dropping her frosty tone. "Most of Neon's flirting is an act the studio asks her to play up for the cameras. Not even kidding, she's a really sweet girl once you get to know her."

Tilting his head, he looked back at her, the smile seeming to crawl back into his face again. "Huh… I've seen some weird acts for the cameras, but that's a new one! But… actually it makes sense, her career's practically built on it. We have to sell the product, right?"

Taking a drink of water, she smiled and set the glass down. "Sorry I had to cut you off at the knees there. Just… when will the slut-shaming end, you know?"

"Well… Alright, that's a fair point. You taught me the error of my ways." Seemed Neptune could actually take a lesson in his stride rather than stress or argue against it. Once he'd finally decided on a meal choice, he waited for a waiter to take their order. But in that time, he thought it appropriate to as, "What about you? Are you dating two guys and a girl?"

"Maybe," she hedged, eyes narrowed slightly. "But I can't honestly tell what your reaction would be if that were true." She inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Are you going to get up and walk away from this table if I told you I've kissed a girl? Like, just don’t want to talk to me if you might not ‘get anywhere’? Honest question."

"Hey, whoa, didn’t know I was going to be on trial here," he chuckled. When there was no answer, he held his hands together instead, rolling his thumbs around one another idly. "I'd more be wondering if you're just quoting Katy Perry, but, nah. I'm not that stuck in the past."

Weiss dipped her index fingertip into her water, swirling the ice cubes around. Focusing her eyes on that as she asked, "What if I told you 'the past' was… a few days ago?"

That definitely made Neptune raise an eyebrow. Even he wasn't that oblivious. It all seemed far too specific for her to be talking in just hypotheticals. In fact …

"Are you trying to tell me you're bi, or something?"

"Don’t forget,” she began cautiously, “I never said this was an official date, just that I wanted to get dinner with you. Just dinner! And, um… maybe I took advantage of that social construct and didn't let you know that I'm probably not interested in anything beyond friendship with you…" Her voice got quieter, more introspective. "Maybe I just wanted to see how I felt when I got here. Hoping I would feel something for… for a guy. That's probably not very nice of me. Sorry."

"Uh-huh… so, gay then?" He tilted his head. But never once did he seem offended, nor move to walk away from the table. He was mostly contemplative. The only move he did make was to brush his hair off his face. "Well, I guess that's kind of a relief, then. Least I can stop worrying about why my flirting game has been so weak when it comes to you.”

"You were worried about that?" she asked with a cautious smile. "I mean, to be blunt, you did lay it on pretty heavy the last time we saw each other."

"Ugh, I know." His hand remained in his hair for a moment longer when he looked away in embarrassment. Seemed even the cool Neptune Vasilias was human sometimes. "Truth is, I haven’t really had to make the advances; before I got famous, I neer went on any dates, and afterward, girls thew themselves at me so hard I didn’t have to do the work myself. Which like, first world problem, am I right?”

“A little bit,” she chuckled. “And that’s why you were being such a douchebag?”

“Wow, ouch. But yeah, Sun more or less set me straight on that one, gave me a little guy-to-guy talk about how to pick up girls and told me, 'you don't'. Then I thought about it and realized what he meant, and figured I blew it." Then he looked back to her at last, lowering the shades a fraction. "But, I guess knowing we're still pals at least ain't so bad."

"You and Sun, or you and I?"

They both laughed, and she looked up to see the waitress arrive again. They proceeded to order their sushi, Weiss picking her nigiri like a pro and Neptune ending up asking for a California Roll, since he'd actually heard of that one before. She graciously offered to let him try one or two off her own plate by way of compromise.

"So yeah, I'm… I'd say 'lesbian' is probably the most accurate label, even though it's not one I chose myself," she confessed in a very quiet tone once they were alone again. Her face and neck were flushed, and her breath shallow and quick with fear. "Just kind of happened this way. And I'm sorry if that comes as a bit of a shock… wow. I was not expecting to come out to you or anyone at all today."

"Hey, that's cool! I don't mind at all." Neptune had been smiling all the way through, genuinely listening to what she had to say and taking it in. As much as a date would have had him making flirtatious advances at every chance, this was far laxer . He was acting himself, rather than what folk saw in the camera. "Like, sure it comes as a little bit of a shock, I guess? Because I'm so used to you singing about boys, and basically how the media makes things out; but I think it's pretty rad, actually."

Then he leant in toward the table, asking quietly. "So, this girl you kissed, huh?"

He was challenging slightly; in a playful way, more than a dirty or annoying way. She decided to rise to it, and leaned in. "This girl whose top I took off, huh?"

"Ooo la laaa! Did not expect that from the Weiss." He smirked a lot more playfully, tilting his head to one side again. "Sounded like you had fun, anyways."

"Yeah… yeah, that's the thing." Her smile slipped slightly. "I did have fun, but… okay, can I ask you about like, personal stuff? It's okay if you don't wanna get 'too real', like I'll totally understand; this was supposed to be a casual thing."

Leaning back again on his seat to relax fully, the smirk faded again. No more games; just a genuine chat with a friend over lunch. "Go ahead. I'm all ears."

"How… God, what am I asking you this for?" But she persisted anyway when he didn't stop her. "How long is long enough to wait after a breakup before you, like… date somebody new?"

That took him back slightly, making him wince while he thought about the question. "Well, if you kissed the girl a few days ago but are looking for someone new now, I'd say you were a bit of a player." Although, he then turned slightly more serious. "But I have a feeling this is a different girl, right?"

Weiss nodded, swallowing. "It's… been a month or so. And when you get down to it, we didn't date very long, but she… was my first serious relationship. I don't know, I feel ready, and then I don't, and the last thing I want is to lead this new girl on if I'm… still a mess."

"Breakups are always a bitch, right? Whether because the other person is a bitch, or because you had to be a bitch for yourself. Either way… I don’t think there's any real time limit." But before she could interrupt, he added, "Within reason, I mean. I'm not saying get with someone else just because you can, but… you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on, y'know?"

Weiss pulled the chopsticks toward herself, tore open the packet, divided them with a brutal snap! and began to slide each stick over the other, watching them carefully as she spoke. "I know I shouldn't. She moved on from me. Dumped me. She's gone, she's fine, she's… off doing her own thing. I should have no guilt at all about going out and living my life again."

Doing the same for himself, he resisted snapping the sticks apart just yet, simply holding them together a moment while Weiss seemed to release that pent-up anger on the pair of sticks she held. "Damn, that's rough… but, her loss, right? Who'd be dumb enough to dump The Weiss? That's like swapping a prime cut of steak for a one-dollar cheeseburger from McDonald's." Though straight away, he corrected himself. "Not that you're a slab of meat, I mean! It's purely a metaphor."

At that, she looked up with a shrewd little smirk. "You caught yourself that time. Good boy, Neptune; you get a biscuit." But her hand waved the whole issue aside in favour of the bigger topic. "She had every right. I mean, it's a relationship, not slavery; I didn't own her, and I didn't want to. Just… wish I knew why she left."

Of course, the bitterness crept back in as she spoke the last part, but she tried not to show it outwardly, and did not elaborate. Simply kept smoothing her chopsticks to get rid of imaginary splinters.

"And she never even gave a reason? Oh, this gets better and better…" He rolled his eyes. Of course, he was frustrated at who did this to his friend, not at his friend herself. Snapping his own sticks a lot more gently, he began to rub them together as well. "If she's not even willing to tell you what you did wrong, then what reason do you have to feel guilty about moving on? Why give a rat ’ s ass about her happiness if she clearly doesn't about yours?"

"Yeah… yeah, you're right!" Nodding to herself, her face turned distinctly more determined as she sharpened faster, the already high-pitched sound climbing higher and louder. "I've given her enough time to come around, to text me, to do something other than ignore me completely! Plenty of time! Well, no more waiting for no good reason! I’m moving on! Weiss Schnee is gonna go over there and make that glowstick-waving hottie scream that name out loud!"

That seemed to get the attention of a few of the customers, and even one or two of the waiters. Enough attention was drawn to them to make Neptune pull nervously at his collar, and laugh to himself. Before anyone could raise any question, he called out, "We're playing Truth or Dare, sorry!"

But as soon as they turned away, he cleared his throat, waiting for the area to calm down before he spoke again. "Fucking do it, girl. Go out there, relax, fuck around for a while. Do what you wanna do to be happy; that's the biggest 'fuck you' you can give an ex, right?"

"It is, and… and I will!" There was another snap! and Weiss looked down to see she had broken one of the chopsticks. "Oh… crap, I didn't mean to do that…"

There was just a snort from Neptune as he tried to contain his laughter, the cheesy grin doing very little to suppress it and keep it down however. But he handed his pair over the table to her, and stood. "Here, have mine. I'll go get some more."

"Thank you," she sighed wearily.

By the time Neptune returned from replacing her broken sticks, their sushi had arrived at last. They set to work, both trying one or two of their own, Neptune doing his best with the chopsticks despite being unfamiliar. Then Weiss picked up yet another piece.

"Want to try this one? It's only tomago. " When he didn't respond, she translated, "Egg. It's egg"

"All I could think of was that Big Hero Six chick," he commented once he'd swallowed some of his food, looking toward the piece in the sticks. Weiss’s expression showed no recognition at all. Shrugging his shoulders, he leant further forward, expecting her to put it in his mouth for him. "What the hell. We all gotta have new experiences, right?"

And she did. Despite the fact that it was a bit more "intimate" of an activity than friends normally would enjoy, she had offered, and didn't really think it mattered enough to plop it on his plate and make him pick it up himself with his mediocre skills.

"What do you think?" she asked once sitting back.

Taking a little longer than normal to chew his food, he seemed to look upward for a moment, as though he was really thinking about the taste and nothing else. After a while longer, he swallowed. "Not bad," he concluded before sitting back. "Rather have a whole omelette with cheese, though."

Laughing, Weiss responded, "That's fair," as she went back to her own plate. But her mind was primarily on something else - or some one else. She raised her small cup of green tea and cleared her throat. "So… to new experiences, right?"

Though he had only just managed to pick up another piece from his own plate, it was promptly dropped as soon as Weiss caught his attention again. Not that he was truly annoyed. He simply put the sticks back down again and picked up his own cup, tapping it lightly against hers.

"You bet'cha. To new experiences, and ‘ fuck you ’ to the past."

"Kanpai!" When he merely raised an eyebrow, she giggled and said, "That's 'cheers.' I have a lot to teach you!"

After a long, tedious day at work, the last thing Blake Belladonna wanted to see when she walked into her apartment was Yang sprawled across her couch, half-drunk and dozing. Especially not when she was supposed to be heading into work at that time. She pushed the door shut, not too quietly, and the girl barely stirred.

"Ugh… really?" Walking over to the blonde, she reached over and grabbed her legs, swinging them off the couch. "Wake up, you dumbass!"

There was a very quiet groan when her legs were pulled to one side, twisting her position to one that was half sliding off the sofa. Only then did she finally start to open her eyes. One after the other, blinking them out of sync. She was drunk. Again. If that wasn't obvious by the several empty cans scattered by her.

"You're supposed to be halfway to work right now. What is this?" Blake picked up a can and held it up. "Why are you still laying around?"

When her eyes were open — well, barely open, at least — she attempted to focus on what Blake was showing her. But it wasn't coming to much use. Anyone looking at her now would come to the same conclusion; Yang Xiao Long was a complete and utter mess.

"That…" She managed to slur on that word alone, head swaying as though it weighed a tonne. "Is a can…"

"Really? That's the best you have?" No immediate reaction. All the stress of her day, coupled with the stress of dealing with Yang turning into this shell of herself, boiled to the surface. She didn't snap; Blake never really snapped. But she did decide there was nothing to be gained by holding back.

"Get up, right now. Get in the shower. I'll put on some coffee while you're in there, and drive you into work. But you have to get moving."

Yang still didn't respond straight away. Only continued to blink out of sync as she looked around. She didn't have the strength to argue, nor any real words to respond with. She wasn't even thinking about work, or how people would react. Just about making herself ridiculously numb. That was the only thing she could do right. Finally nodding, she managed to slip her arms behind her, only just managing to use them to push herself up on her feet. But when she stood upright, her balance was completely off. She couldn't even stand still for a long period of time without stumbling.

"Nope!" Blake grunted, just managing to feint to the side and catch her before she went down. "No, no, you're going upstairs and into the shower, come on."

With that, she began to drag her toward the stairs. There was another strained groan that could easily be compared to a toddler having a tantrum. But at least when she was actually at the stairs, there was no excuse. She grabbed the railing to pull herself up and support herself, not needing Blake's help for the rest of it. At least a shower would probably snap her out of the initial daze.

While she trudged upstairs, Blake went about getting the coffee on, picking up the beer cans from the living room. Kicking off her sensible black flats and going upstairs after Yang; the nouveau-lush probably hadn ’ t even laid her clothes out before she hit the bathroom. It would be up to her to take care of that.

Walking into the spare bedroom was like walking into the remnants of a bombed city. Beer cans, a tray full of weed ash, clothes all over the floor … it wasn ’ t as bad as it could have been, but Blake still didn ’ t want her home looking like that. She quickly nipped things into the trash that belonged there, got the dirty clothes into a laundry basket. Straightened the bedclothes. Then she went into the closet to find some suitable work garb …

And saw the garment bag.

Amber eyes darted toward the doorway. She had been curious, why out of all the things Yang no longer seemed to care about, this whatever-it-was had the luxury of being perfectly preserved inside the slick plastic covering. Why had it meant so much to Yang? Why was it being hidden away like this?

Curiosity caught the cat up, and she had to find out. Suppressing her guilt with the excuse of “it’ s my apartment and she ’ s staying here ” , she reached out and drew the zipper down – and beheld a beautiful, traditional silk dress, in such gorgeous shades! White with purples and lilacs, and such long sleeves, furling pleats … the picture of femininity. The fact that Yang, of all people, should own something like that, boggled her mind.

Then another thought came to Blake, one she couldn ’ t shake despite knowing she should, needed to resist. What would it look like on her?

Not even ten meters away in the shower, the unsuspecting blonde was stood a little more stable as the water flowed through her hair and over her body. It was rather cold, but she seemed too numb to notice. But it did have an unintended side effect. It was snapping Yang out of her happier daze again.

And bringing back that empty shell which Blake was so used to. She shouldn't have to be, but it was just who Yang had become now. Cold, uncaring, blank. Like the very soul had gone from her. It wasn't getting better, even after she was apparently seeking help and going to counselling. Slowly blinking as she looked down at herself again, she could practically feel the sadness creeping in again. That wasn't going to vanish today; great.

After a full ten minutes in the shower, and not even bothering with conditioner, Yang had turned the water off and started to get out. Blake might have meant well, but Yang certainly didn't feel up to what was ahead. An evening of serving obnoxious couples and families, most of which treated her like filth for one reason or another. Then even getting yelled at in the kitchen for one reason or another. Probably being late again. Finally resigning and wrapping a towel around her body, she exited. Of course, she left the old pajamas on the ground for Blake to pick up. She just didn't care enough right then to get them herself; she could later, if Blake didn’t do it.

But as soon as she got back to her room, she was in for a shock. Eyes actually widening for once, she yelled loudly, louder than she had for weeks.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Whipping around to face the other way, Blake brought her hands up to press against her chest, nylon-covered toes scrunching up in vague embarrassment. A cautious smile hitched into her face as she spun in the hanfu , letting it spin out around her shins.

“ Sorry for being so impulsive, but … I mean, I found this, and I wondered if I ’ d look any good in it. What do you think? ”

Yang was speechless. But speechless in the worst possible way. She could feel her stomach churning, head spinning as though she was about to throw up. Whether that was because of the alcohol or not was up in the air right now. There was only one thing clear to her: she couldn't deal with it. Her hands curled into tight fists, she could almost feel her knuckles straining from holding them too hard. Blake wanted her to feel something for weeks, but now that was coming back to bite her. All Yang felt was pure rage.

"Take, that, off. Now ."

The smile vanished. It was true, as numb as Yang had been over the past few weeks, a few breakdowns notwithstanding, a display of anger was very sudden and very shocking to her. Dropping her voice to a whisper, she said, “ Yang, I- listen, I ’ m sorry, I didn ’ t mean to- ”

"Take it off!" she yelled even louder, exaggerating her words this time by stomping her foot. It was as though she was about to charge, what on earth had come over her?!

"Yang!" Blake burst out, stricken, face turning completely pale. She'd never seen Yang this angry with her before, and had no idea where it was coming from. And the stamp might not have been a real display of violence, but it was too close to one for her to feel safe. She held up her hands in front of her. "Alright! I'm… I'm taking it off, give me time to make sure I don't mess it up…"

While Blake did just that she paced back and forth, hands taking their place back into the blonde hair again. After a while, Blake had noticed it had become a habit when Yang was severely stressed out. But for something as simple as clothing to trigger it? There must be something more, some meaning to it. But while she tugged it and clenched her teeth, it would be very difficult to get that answer.

Even more so when Blake was about to lay it on the bed, and Yang moved herself forward, instead releasing her hair so she could snatch it from Blake's hands, hard. There were already tears welling up in her eyes when she yelled, "It's not yours! You're not allowed to touch this!"

"No, I get it now," Blake told her in a thunderstruck voice, backing off completely so she could put it back into the garment bag herself, if she so chose. "Y-you did tell me it was traditional – I mean, how was I supposed to know, though? I only saw it once when you got here, and you never told me you didn’t want it ever touched!"

Yang didn't even answer at first. She was too busy focusing on putting it away again as neatly as she possibly could. Since she snatched it, there were now creases that wouldn't come out by brushing her hand over the material. It wasn't anything major, an iron would easily solve the problem. But for Yang, it was enough to set off more of a reaction. Enough to make the lingering tears fall as she stared down at it in complete disdain.

"It's ruined… it's fucking ruined!" She only thanked God Blake couldn't see her face, especially when she pounded her fist against the mattress. Such a small thing was creating all this. "That was all I had left! All I fucking had!"

After a few seconds, Blake found her voice again. “Yang… I’ m sorry. That wasn ’ t- I honestly didn ’ t mean to hurt you, okay? I ’ ll pay to have it fixed, I ’ ll do whatever is needed, I promi- ”

"WHY?!" Yang yelled at the top of her voice, quickly spinning herself around to face Blake again. That question was coming up a lot recently between the both of them. Particularly for Yang's now terrified best friend. That was, if they were friends anymore. From how things were going, it seemed like there was nothing of the blonde she once knew left.

"I bought it for her, I kept it perfect for her! It reminds me of her, and it's ruined!" she screamed, tears freely flowing down her face. "Why can't I keep one, single, FUCKING PIECE OF HAPPINESS?!"

Blake's gaze dropped to the floor, her own eyes brimming with tears. The sheer volume, the implications… Yang's rage. She didn’t do well with open displays of anger or violence. Her system was shutting down, she couldn't process anything other than that she had really messed up this time and she was going to be feeling the pain of it for a while.

"I'll let you get dressed. I'm sorry, I… I'm sorry." Then she turned and stepped into the hallway, finding her way to her bedroom door, leaning against the doorjamb and trying not to break down or have a panic attack.

But Yang didn't get dressed. She merely brought the robe back out from the garment bag again, running a hand over one of the creases where she'd grabbed it. Rational thought was returning, but it'd returned too late – and only to give her a firm reminder that she was the one that snatched it. She did the damage, she ruined it. No one else. Just like everything else that had gone wrong. It was her fault.

And with that, she pulled it in toward herself, falling to her knees as she curled into a ball of her own, pressing it tightly against her as she cried again. Loudly sobbing, even straining her voice as she tried to breathe past the lump forming in her throat, hugging the material like it really was all she had left in the world.

"Why?" she repeated again, unaware that her friend was still in earshot. "Why am I still here?"

But hers were not the only tears in the apartment. The others were more silent, more private. Blake looked down at her body, at where the dress had touched her, and hated it. Yet another moment that proved to her that no matter how much Yang might not mind touching her, she would never quite be worth the same to her as Weiss Schnee. Not in the same way.

Proven yet more fully by the fact that Yang did not want to be there with her. Wished she were anywhere else. No matter how hard she tried to help, how kind she was, stern, forgiving, encouraging… she fell short. And this one mistake was enough to get Yang screaming at her like she was her worst enemy.

She wasn't quite sure where it came from, but she felt her emotions close off. She could cry later. Would; definitely would, it was inevitable. Turning back to the bedroom, she walked to the doorway and cleared her throat.

The sobs were brought to a stop when she heard. Sniffing deeply as she managed to turn and look toward Blake, she saw that stern expression again. A cold one, one she saw when Blake was making her stop drinking, or stop smoking more. She froze up, clueless as to what she was in for.

"You… can scream at me again when you get off your shift," she told her bluntly. "Right now you have to get dressed. NO," she cut her off immediately. "You're going to work. Period."

But the blonde only felt herself clutching the hanfu closer to her, and felt the tears returning to her eyes yet again. She tried to will herself to get up, well and truly. But no matter how loudly her brain was screaming at her to move …

"I can't."

Blake's voice didn't get louder. It got quieter. Even though it had been years since they had an argument like this, surely Yang couldn't forget that her voice worked the opposite way from other people; that was when she was really serious.

"Yang, you have to do something. If you don't make it to work today… then I'm sure as hell not paying for you to get drunk and high anymore. Support your own habits, or don't. That's all there is to it."

The gaze only fell to the ground instead. She didn't move, didn't even put up an argument anymore. All of that energy that had seemed to return, even if it was just to scream and then to cry; now it was gone. It would seem to Blake that Yang made her choice. Crying on the ground it was.

"Fine." Taking a deep breath, she let it out as slowly and smoothly as she could, though it did nothing to make her feel better. "I'm going over to Sun's. And I'm taking all the hash and beer and leaving it over there for now. You know where to reach me, my cell is charged. Just… do whatever you feel like doing, I guess."

There was so much Yang wanted to say to that. It shocked her, a lot more than she anticipated it would. She wanted to apologise for her behavior, even open up, explain possibly, let her in on the dark path that was becoming more and more tempting to walk down. But in the end, she did none of that. She simply appeared just as numb as she always was, even if she wasn’t on the inside.

"Whatever."

Blake's mouth opened. She made a wide gesture, opened it again, pressed a hand to her mouth. Turned to leave, was all the way to the top of the staircase before she stopped, turned back to her room, and fetched her weed stash. Might as well follow through.

On her way back, she paused just out of sight of the door frame, still just able to see a sliver of the room from where she stood. In a hollow voice, she said, "You know… I don't know what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right anymore. You're confusing the hell out of me. But at least I'm trying." Then she walked down the stairs.

There was nothing else. No further comments, no further sounds of Yang attempting to at least get up or move. Just painful silence. And even when she heard Blake walk down into the kitchen, there was still nothing. She was following through with the plan, leaving Yang with nothing but herself to rely on.

Even if she had some money to spare to get back what Blake had taken, it didn't matter. Not when she lacked the basic motivation to get out of bed some days. How on earth was she going to get out of this one now? She'd officially burnt the only bridge she had left toward some kind of free lifestyle. She'd pushed away a friend that tried to help her however she could, in every possible way. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee was a big reminder of that.

When she finally heard the front door close, it was like the final thud of the jail cell door. She realized deep down in her gut now: she was trapped. And she had built the trap herself.

[queerbycrs]

so... i’m not finished writing this yet, but since apparently the idea is So Popular going by @iamalivenow‘s post, i thought i’d... lay out the basis of my the magnus archives good place au? vague spoilers up to current canon of tma (ep 120) and definite spoilers up to the end of s2 of the good place

my basic thought, at first, was that this isn’t a “full” tgp fusion -- it would incorporate elements of tma canon, and involve various kinds of amnesia. so, the characters are tormented by not remembering bits of their lives, or remembering things that line up wrong, or having flashes of memory that don’t make sense.

so, in this au, the characters already knew each other in ways that are similar but not identical to canon. that’s part of the reason elias-as-michael is so confident it’ll work out: that idiot michael just threw together some humans and hoped they’d click perfectly horribly. these people have history, and it’ll torment them or just be informational, as required.

so, elias is michael, obviously. pre-redemption. (my thought for this is that the torture actually works so it never proceeds to the actual plot of tgp s2-onwards, so no need to figure out how it would work with elias. alternately, the humans go off through the afterlife without architectural assistance. who knows)

i’m not set on who janet is, but i might go with the suggestion of distortion? because that sounds hilarious, honestly

and there are def soulmates in this au, because it makes things ALL THE MORE PAINFUL. from most-to-least solidly formed ideas:

basira and daisy. basira remembers a picture-perfect life on earth, fifty years of marriage, dying in each other’s arms.

daisy remembers being a serial killer and trying to hide it for years until basira caught on and daisy killed her in a fit of rage, and spent the rest of her life regretting it.

neither of them have accurate recollections. but according to their first day in the good place, basira is correct, and daisy doesn’t know what the hell is going on or why she’s here, with the love of her life, who she thought she killed in the biggest mistake of her life.

(basira prolllllllllly doesn’t belong in the bad place, but elias prolly just snatched her up for his Evil Plans. no one better to torture daisy with, right?)

next: martin and jon. they remember working together, in... an archive? or something? and martin was in love with jon, and jon was oblivious.

well, the official matchmaking systems of the afterlife have chosen! you’re the perfect match for each other! have fun!

martin is completely blissed out at first! it’s wonderful! he spent all those years in hopeless love, and now he gets to spend eternity with the man he thought could never love him back!

and at first, jon is actually... okay with it? he’s a little nervous, because he’s never had a relationship that didn’t crash and burn (okay, sample size of one, but that says a lot in and of itself) but it feels so easy, at first, and it’s... okay. it’s nice.

but then his memories start to get... weird. he has dreams of the archive where he worked, except it’s... different. he remembers worms, and running, and a man’s body on the floor of his office.

he remembers a tape recorder, and he starts recording here, too. just in case.

eventually, as jon’s paranoia starts to build and build, things start going bad for martin, too: he’s having nightmares too, of worms and crushing loneliness, and jon is retreating and won’t talk to him, and this cute older guy who works at the kayak rental/canoe group/scuba-diving-but-without-equipment-because-we’re-dead-and-don’t-need-to-breathe place keeps hitting in him and he’s kind of into it and he feels Really Bad about it

and then i get to, like, melanie and tim and georgie, and in this version of the au i don’t know what to do with them, so i would probably pair up melanie and tim -- their respective responses to stress don’t work well together, at All, so i guess if the tension started turning up they’d probably torture each other pretty effectively.

which leaves georgie. and i’m thinking, maybe elias just doesn’t know how to torture her. she was added to his carefully-planned group without advance notice (probably as a test, those goddamn suits in the department don’t understand how difficult and complicated this is--) and so he just. tells her that her soul is perfectly complete on its own, and she has the admiral for company, but she doesn’t have a soulmate.

georgie’s like, sweet. she can live her best life (afterlife) and hang out with her cat that will be with her forever! this is awesome.

(the admiral probably died of natural causes a few years before, after living a full and very happy life; it got a lovely afterlife until georgie arrived and they got to hang out again. this is how it is for all pets. don’t @ me you know i’m right and i will not take suggestions)

it’s not perfect, because elias just keeps throwing Problems at her to see what’ll stick. but she’s doing pretty good.

alternately:

basira/daisy, and

jon/tim. tim’s reaction to jon’s paranoia is probably a lot more external than martin’s is, which probably leads to some nasty fights. jon probably thinks tim is turning against him, it’s a whole big mess. tim might get seduced away a couple times to increase his guilt and add some depth to their bad relationship, because this is Literal Hell.

melanie/georgie, because Wrench Thrown Into Plan, had to make some adjustments. there’s probably some memory mismatch and external pressure, but it’s not too bad.

martin is a complete person who needs no soulmate to make his afterlife perfect. not a monk, like jason (elias scoffs at the heavy-handedness, the unsubtlety of that.) just perfectly fulfilled in solitude.

he probably gets fully seduced by peter lukas, aka mr. “kayak rental/canoe group/scuba-diving-but-without-equipment-because-we’re-dead-and-don’t-need-to-breathe place” guy. and then there’s a lot of, “oh god this was a mistake what will we tell our soulmates” from peter (externally) and a lot of “i’m going to be alone for literal eternity and even my hookup doesn’t know about it, because it’s so unusual to not have a soulmate” from martin (internally.)

looking at it now, version 1 does seem better and more thought-out, so if i do actually progress with this i’ll prolly go with that. but hey, if someone wants to run with version 2... (or one, idc really) please do, i will love it.

SO. onto: demons!

you know in the beginning of tgp season 2, when michael is doing the pep talks to the demons and one of them keeps asking if he can bite the humans?

okay, that, but with jane prentiss

she just wants to infect them. just a lil. just a few worms in their houses, even

(elias screams internally. why are his demons so incompetent.)

nikola is a mannequin in the windows of one of the stores in the cute little town. she moves... just a little bit... whenever you look away (like a weeping angel.) she probably shows up in people’s houses in the middle of the night and stands at the foot of their beds. when elias is asked about it, he assures them that it was just a nightmare.

there are so many spiders in this afterlife. martin loves it. nearly everyone else... does not.

jude perry owns a pizza place with a classic pizza oven. it’s... weirdly hot in there? (”she spent all her years on earth perfecting this pizza,” elias explains to someone who feels like they’re dying of heatstroke. “she adapted to the heat. it would be cruel to take it away from her.”)

the pizza is delicious, once it’s burned the roof of your mouth to bloody strips

mike crew runs the skydiving/flying place. the humans don’t understand why it’s so painful and weird when they do it. they’re clearly just doing it wrong! why don’t they try again. and again.

not!sasha is there, and sasha isn’t. (i don’t know, i can’t think of how it would work.) (maybe she kept throwing a wrench in elias’s plans so he didn’t want her in his neighbourhood.) she’s soulmates with some random demon and is probably out there, idk, tormenting people with weird uncanny valley.

she runs a wax museum, like the museum in tgp s2, when the gang goes to the real bad place and it has plaques for the first person to do some petty bad thing (telling a woman to smile, sending an unprompted dick pic, flossing in an open-concept workplace, etc.) the wax figures also move in creepy ways, just a little bit.

i’m sure once i write this i’ll flesh out more of the demons, but one last thing:

who is mindy st. clair, you ask?

my answer is: it’s not one person. it’s gertrude and gerry.

but how, you ask? isn’t that like, a really special, one-time thing?

well, dear reader, for one thing, points and afterlife designations work differently in this au than they do in tgp, for practical reasons of getting all the characters i care about into hell. and also, the system doesn’t make sense.

so gertrude and gerry either a) both evened out the points (and medium places aren’t very uncommon) or b) this is an au where you can be “claimed” by the good place or the bad place at random, and neither place wanted them. either/or.

the thing is, though, that the medium place is not meant to be torture. and for the vast majority of people, being alone for eternity with only the most mediocre entertainment and literally nothing to do? is torture.

for mindy, she was incredibly self-centred; being alone is fine. she doesn’t mind being around other people for short periods of time, and she probably wants to get laid, but she’s okay in her own company.

most people are not. and obviously we don’t actually know much about gertrude and gerry’s relationship, but what i’m going to guess is that they didn’t hate each other, or especially like each other, but they aren’t each other’s favourite person, either.

thus, the best person to spend eternity with for absolute mediocrity, they can both be alone when they want and also have company when they need to not go completely off the deep end.

and that’s what i have so far.

and here’s a bonus if you read this far: i also started writing a tgp magnus archives au, where michael (tgp michael) got the gang together in s3 by sending them all to the magnus institute to give a statement. i have most of eleanor’s statement written. still not sure what i want to do with it, but there you go: fusion-ception, an au both ways.

[argyle-s]

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME CHAPTER 22/38

Rating: Mature

Read at Ao3

Start at the Beginning

Supergirl talks to the press, Maggie interviews a suspect, Kara babysits Carter, Lucy seeks some advice, and Cat offers someone a job at CatCo.

Note:  For those of you who might have missed it, I’ve started posting twice a week until this story is finished.  If you only read the chapter last Saturday, you might have missed Wednesday’s post of Chapter 21 - A Distant Early Warning.  The events of this chapter won’t make a lot of sense without that chapter, so make sure you’re up to date first.

Thanks to @ifourmindbeso for her great work as a beta. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Chapter 22 –  The Back and Forth

“And in late-breaking news this morning, an arrest has been made in connection with yesterday’s bombing of a research lab in building fourteen of the Winslow Research Park. Sources close to the NCPD have indicated that the suspect in custody is a former employee at the lab. While details are still sketchy, what is known is that Supergirl was on the scene yesterday and managed to disarm two bombs, before flying a third one out of the building just moments before it exploded, and while the Girl of Steel was seen flying away from the scene of the bombing shortly after the explosion, she hasn’t been seen since, leaving some to speculate that the superhero was injured during the explosion. Reporting live from Police Headquarters in downtown National City, this is Tawny Young for CatCo News.”

Kara rolled her eyes as the report wrapped up and the story switched to a segment on the National City Valkyries getting trounced by the Gateway City Amazons. Much as she might like to take the time to watch the report and ogle the unreasonably attractive goalie for Gateway City’s women’s soccer team, it looked like it was time to do a little spin control, so she pulled up the Supergirl twitter account.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@TawnyYoung Not hurt, just doing laundry. Anyone know how to get out bomb stains?

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl Cold Club Soda for Semtex, Hand Wash in warm water and Woolite for C4. Gasoline or dynamite, throw it out

Lois Lane @LoisLane 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl Listen to @VickiVale young Padawan. She speaks much wisdom.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@LoisLane @VickiVale What about mad scientist grade super explosives?

Lois Lane @LoisLane 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl unless @VickiVale has some wisdom I don’t, ask your cousin, because I don’t think Perry White will let you expense the super suit.

Perry White @PerryWhite 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl @VickiVale I would not. Try @CatGrant. @LoisLane, meet me in my office. We need to discuss your expense account.

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@LoisLane BUSTED! @supergirlzorel​

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl No. @PerryWhite I can loan you some thumb screws for @LoisLane @VickiVale Drinks tonight?

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant I don’t know. Will @SupergirlZorEl get jealous?

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@VickiVale what @SupergirlZorEl doesn’t know won’t hurt us.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@VickiVale I trust you. @CatGrant twitter is less private than you seem to think.

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl shouldn’t you be out saving kittens while @VickiVale and I chat?

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant check @CatCoNews Feed. Dealt with a fire, a bank robbery, and 2 wrecks while you were scheduling Martinis. Can @VickiVale do that?

CatCo News @CatCoNews 17 Nov 2015

@CatCo @VickiVale @SupergirlZorEl A fire, a bank robbery, 2 wrecks and carried an old lady’s groceries to the car.

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant @SupergirlZorEl I cannot. Except for the groceries. I could do that.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant @VickiVale I win!

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl If you say so. I’m still the one having drinks with @CatGrant in Metropolis tonight.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant I take back what I said. @VickiVale seems kind of shady. Best not risk it.

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl of course @VickiVale is shady. She’s from Gotham. I’ll take my chances.

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl I feel like I should be insulted, but @CatGrant is right. Everyone from Gotham is shady.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

I don’t know @VickiVale @BruceWayne seemed nice. Didn’t he @CatGrant ?

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

Okay @SupergirlZorEl that’s a fair point. @BruceWayne is the one non-shady person in Gotham. Right @CatGrant ?

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@VickiVale I am not sure if @BruceWayne is a saint, or a mad man, or both, but @SupergirlZorEl is right, he’s always unfailingly nice.

Vicki Vale @VickiVale 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant leaving aside @SupergirlZorEl ‘s opinion, the Forbes interview points to the mad man theory.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@VickiVale What’s wrong with the Forbes interview? @CatGrant didn’t @PenelopeWayne seem nice?

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl kittens. Saving. Now. @VickiVale see why I need a drink?

CatCo News @CatCoNews 17 Nov 2015

Supergirl spotted delivering a box of abandoned kittens to the Nations Bay Animal Shelter. @CatGrant

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@CatCoNews I still sign your paycheck.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

Now, @CatGrant be nice.

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl I can only be nice to one person a day. Today’s @VickiVale’s day.

Supergirl @SupergirlZorEl 17 Nov 2015

@CatGrant how’s tomorrow looking for me?

Cat Grant @CatGrant 17 Nov 2015

@SupergirlZorEl that depends on how late @VickiVale and I stay at the bar tonight.

Maggie walked through the door of the interrogation room where Ethan Knox had been waiting for them for the past hour and took the seat opposite him, laying a thin folder on the table. He didn’t look up, just kept staring down at the table looking slouched and defeated. She understood. They’d been going round and round since eight o’clock the night before.

This time was different though. Alex had gotten back from the DEO office about forty-five minutes ago, with an impressive amount of documentation of the money trail for the Knox girl’s medical bills. It was nowhere near enough to arrest Maxwell Lord, but it was enough to get the ADA to offer a plea deal if Knox fingered Lord. The paper trail, plus Knox’s testimony, would be enough to get warrants, which would be enough to put Lord behind bars for a very, very long time.

“How you doing, Ethan?” Maggie asked. Start easy. They’d been at this for sixteen hours, on and off, and Maggie had been soft balling it the whole time, but it was time for hard ball.

“I’m tired,” he said. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“The truth,” Maggie said.

He looked up, and she almost felt sorry for him, because the man looked absolutely broken.

“I told you the truth,” he said.

Maggie nodded. “Part of the truth. I need all of it.”

“I haven’t got anything else to tell you.”

Maggie leaned back in the chair. “Ethan, do you want to know where I was for the last hour?”

“I don’t care,” he said. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“You should care,” Maggie said. “Because I’ve been out there talking to the DA. I’ve been out there, pleading your case. Ask… begging her, to let me cut you a deal. Took me an hour to get her to say yes.”

“I don’t want a deal.”

“Yes you do, Ethan. And I’ll tell you why. You got a little girl-“

“You leave my daughter out of this!” he said, leaning forward suddenly.

Maggie didn’t flinch. “I can’t do that, Ethan,” she said, as she reached out, and flipped open the folder, showing him a picture of his daughter she’d printed from his facebook page. “I can’t leave her out of this, because she’s what this is all about.”

He shook his head, looking down at the picture. “She’s got nothing to do with this.”

“Yes, she does,” Maggie said. “I’m going tell you what I think happened, Ethan. And I want you to think really, really hard. I can’t stop you from going to jail. You walking out of here a free man isn’t on the table. You planted bombs. But, what I can do, is tell the judge that six months ago, your little girl, the light of your life, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I can tell the judge that you were refused family leave and fired after you missed work taking your baby girl to get treated. I can tell the judge how your insurance was cancelled, and how you were afraid your baby girl was going to die. Then, I can tell the judge about the man who came to you, who offered to help your little girl. I can tell him that this man offered to pay for your daughter’s medical care, and all you had to do was plant a couple of bombs. No one was supposed to get hurt.

“If I tell the judge that, Ethan, you’ll go to prison right here in National City. Your little girl can come visit you, and if you don’t get in trouble inside, in five years, you’ll be home, taking care of your family.”

Maggie leaned forward, looking Ethan in the eye. “Now, ask me what happens if you don’t tell the truth?”

Ethan’s eyes lifted from the picture.

“If you don’t tell me the truth, Ethan, I can’t help you. If you don’t tell me the truth, that DA is going to charge you with terrorism. You’re going to go to a federal prison. A Super-Max federal prison in Colorado called ADX Florence. As a terrorist. You will have no human contact. You will receive no letters. You will spend the rest of your natural life in an eight-foot-by-nine-foot room. You will only leave that room for one hour a day. You will never see your wife or your daughter again.”

“But she’ll be alive,” Ethan said.

“You know, you have a guardian angel,” Maggie said. This was it. The moment she lobbed the fast ball.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Your daughter is gonna be home in a few days. She’s gonna be home, and she’s going to be completely healthy.”

“What? How?”

“Supergirl,” Maggie said. “She found out why you did this, and she made a couple of calls. Sometime in the next few days, your daughter, along with every other kid in that cancer ward, is going to get a Kryptonian drug that cures cancer.” Maggie leaned forward. “She’s going to get that drug whether you talk or not, and she isn’t gonna have to worry about cancer ever again, because Supergirl is not going to hold the life of a little girl hostage. Not like the man you’re lying to protect. The question is, Ethan, do you ever want to see your daughter again?”

“What do you want to know?” Ethan asked.

“Everything,” Maggie said, “but start with his name.”

Kara glanced down at her phone and smiled when she saw Alex’s name on it. She picked it up and leaned back in her chair, watching as Winn sat typing away on his computer, doing Rao only knew what. She hit the accept button and raised the phone to her ear.

“Hey Alex,” she said.

“He cracked,” Alex replied.

“Finally,” Kara said. “That only took what, fourteen hours?”

“Sixteen,” Alex said. “But you should have seen Maggie. Once we had the deal cut with the DA, she broke him in about ten minutes. It was beautiful.”

“I’ll bet,” Kara said. “So, you going to arrest Max?”

“Not yet,” Alex said. “We’re waiting for the warrants to come through. Once we have the warrants, we’ll be able to tear Lord Tech, and Maxwell Lord’s entire life, apart. The TSA and the Mayor have already agreed to shut down the Train tonight. If we find even a tenth of what I think we will, Max is going to jail for a very long time.”

“That’s terrific!” Kara said. “I’d offer to come help with the arrest, but I’ve got to babysit.”

“Have fun with that,” Alex said.

“I will,” Kara said.

Kara smiled as she watched Carter and the other students come out of the school. Parents walked up and spoke with the woman who was checking students out. Some students headed for the waiting busses, but Kara took her time, waiting at the back of the line. She wasn’t surprised at all when the phone rang. She just hit the answer button and lifted the phone to her ear.

“Hello Ms. Grant,” she said.

“How’s Carter? Does he miss his mom?” Cat asked.

“I’ll ask him in a minute Ms. Grant. I’m at the back of the line.”

“Why? Did you get there late?” Cat asked.

“No. I was talking to my sister when the bell rang.”

“Well, as long as you didn’t forget.”

“Of course not, Ms. Grant,” Kara said, smiling as she remembered how the day went in the original timeline where she’d done just that. “I’ll have Carter call you from the car.”

“Okay. Take care of my boy.”

“I will,” Kara said, and hung up. She waited patiently until the last of the parents were gone, and it was just her, the attendant from the school, and Carter.

“Hi,” she said. “Ms. Grant put me on the list. I’m Kara Danvers.”

“Hello, Ms. Danvers,” she said, holding out a clip board. “I just need a signature.”

“Of course,” Kara said. She sighed the form quickly and handed it back.

“There,” the attendant said. “He’s all yours. Have fun, Carter.”

Kara turned to Carter, smiling at him. “Hey, I’m Kara,” she said. “You remember me from your mom’s office?”

Carter nodded.

“You’ve grown since the last time I saw you,” she said. Carter didn’t respond. “How was school?” Carter shrugged, and Kara grinned. “This is a really good school. I’m surprised they haven’t taught you guys to speak out loud yet.”

That got the same laugh in this timeline as it had in the other, and Kara felt a small weight lift. It seemed like things would be okay.

“You know, I really liked school. Learning all sorts of things.” She leaned down, and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “Don’t tell your mom, but me and my sister were both huge nerds.”

Carter laughed at that and smiled up.

“Mom says it’s okay to be a nerd. She says if you can face your fears and come out of your shell… nerds can win, in the end.”

Kara nodded. “That does sound like something your mom, who slips Star Wars jokes into article titles, and has the Imperial March and the theme from The Terminator as ring tones, might say about nerds.” Carter’s face split into a huge grin, and Kara straightened up and nodded back towards the parking area. “Come on. We’ve got to go into the office for a bit longer today, but I don’t think you’ll mind too much.”

From TMZ.com

Vicki Vale and Supergirl Fight a Twitter War over Cat Grant!

11/17/2015 1:45 PM PST

Gotham’s most famous reporter and National City’s own Girl of Steel got into a heated twitter exchange this morning over who would get to spend time with Cat Grant.

By the end of the exchange, it looked like a solid victory for the Gotham reporter. No word yet on what this will mean for Superhero/Press relations in National City, or for the future of Gotham’s favorite reporter and the National City Media Mogul.

The real surprise here, however, is Vicki Vale. While Cat’s long and sordid dating history has fluttered back and forth between both ends of the Kinsey Scale, and Supergirl was seen filling her dance card with the likes of Bruce Wayne, Lois Lane’s younger sister, and Cat Grant herself at a media event last Friday, Vale, has never shown any signs of enjoying the fairer sex’s company before. In fact, Vale’s only previous high-profile love interest was none other than Billionaire Playboy Bruce Wayne himself.

Seems like Vale and the Maid of Might could be picking through each other’s sloppy seconds.

Kara led Carter off the elevator on the forty-second floor, and gave a quick wave to Padme, Laura, Wilma, Marcus and Winn. “Hey, guys. This is Carter Grant.”

Winn, and the DEO agents all gave a quick wave from their desks, and there was a brief chorus of “Hi’s” and “Hello’s” as they all greeted him.

“Carter, I’d like you to meet the Supergirl Social Media Team,” Kara said.

Carter looked up at her, excitement written all over his face. “Supergirl? Really?”

Kara nodded. “Yes. Padme over there is responsible for tracking any social media traffic that mentions Supergirl, so we know if there are any trends we need to respond to.” Kara didn’t mention that Padme’s job largely consisted of reviewing prescreened material from Konex, before deciding if she needed to pass it on to Kara for a response, and working with Konex to make sure no one could track Kara’s movements back to her apartment, the DEO, or CatCo. “Laura is our business liaison. She actually talks to Facebook, Google, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr about Supergirl’s accounts, and handles media requests. And Wilma and Marcus take the raw footage Supergirl sends over and edit together her YouTube videos, and Winn over there is our IT guy. He runs the Krypton Remembered website.”

Carter looked around at all of them like Christmas had come early. “You guys all know Supergirl?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Kara said. “She doesn’t spend a lot of time here, but she drops by from time to time. Come on. Let’s get you settled.” She led him over to a spare desk she’d had set up just for this purpose when she’d had the contractors build out the floor. It was tucked back in a small alcove, close enough to Kara’s office, which set in the same spot as Cat’s two floors down, that Kara could keep an eye on him, but hidden from the rest of the floor, and with a clear shot to Cat’s private elevator, just in case.

“I got your Steam and Origin Passwords from your mom and had Winn download and install your entire Library in your user profile,” she said. “I’m pretty sure Winn’s down for some Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare or some Star Wars Battlefront, if you want.”

Carter sat down at the desk and looked up at her shyly. “That’s cool, but… do you think Supergirl will be here today?”

Kara smiled at him. “Yeah,” Kara said. “I’ve got a meeting in a little bit, so Wilma and Winn are going to keep an eye on you, but Supergirl’s supposed to drop off some stuff for us today. I’m sure she’d have a minute to say hello.”

“Really?” Carter asked.

Kara nodded. “Really.”

“Kara?” another voice said.

Kara turned around, surprised to find Lucy standing there, a slightly flustered look on her face. She frowned, because she’d remembered running into Lucy the first time she lived this day, but she was sure it had been in Noonan’s. She held up a finger, indicating to Lucy that she needed a moment, then she turned back to Carter. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

“Okay,” Carter said.

Kara give Lucy a wave, indicating that she should follow as Kara headed into her office. She stopped at the glass doors, waiting until Lucy was inside then swinging the doors closed.

Kara’s office, in the same spot at Cat’s was two floors down, was laid out on the same model, but Kara disliked the fishbowl design of Cat’s, so while the front wall and door did have windows in them, the windows were covered with vertical blinds, which she drew. Then she turned around and dropped down on one of the comfortable sofas on either side of the coffee table, choosing to sit next to Lucy, instead of across from her. Unlike Cat’s office, Kara had opted for a warm color scheme. The walls were a warm orange shade that the contractor had called Terracotta. The carpet was a reddish tan, and the sofas were an off white with gold brocade pattern. It was the same color scheme as her room on Krypton, and just walking into the room usually set her nerves at ease, but it wasn’t having the same effect on Lucy. She was clearly upset about something.

“Is everything okay?” Kara asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just…” Lucy stopped and took a deep breath, finally looking Kara in the eye. “Is it okay if I say no?”

“Of course,” Kara said. She reached out, offering Lucy her hand. Lucy looked down at it for a moment, and Kara could see the confusion on Lucy’s face turn into surprise, and then gratitude as she reached out and took the offered hand. “How can I help.”

Lucy looked up at Kara’s face again and smiled for the first time since she’d gotten Kara’s attention. “You have no idea how long it’s been since someone has asked me that.”

“Well, then, people aren’t treating you the way they should,” Kara said. “Do I need to bust some heads? I’m really good at that.”

Lucy laughed, which brought a smile to Kara’s face. “No,” she said. “I appreciate the offer, but no one is really to blame. I just… I wanted to thank you, for what you tried to do.”

Kara shook her head. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean telling me who you are. Going out of your way to respect my feelings for James. Your cousin never did that.”

“James is being an idiot, isn’t he?” Kara asked.

“No,” Lucy said. “You just made me realize that it isn’t going to work out.”

Kara frowned and tilted her head slightly in confusion. “I don’t understand. I was trying to help, Lucy. I know you love James. I can see it every time you look at him.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said, nodding as tears started welling up in her eyes. “Yeah, I do. But he doesn’t love me. He likes me. He maybe loves the idea of me. But even now, even when I know about you, he still won’t let me in.” She reached up and wiped a tear off her face. “I tried. To talk to him about all of this, to get to understand, but he doesn’t want to share. Not with me. And it made me realize that it would never work, because no matter how much I want to be a part of his life, he just doesn’t want me there.”

“Oh, Lucy,” Kara said, letting go of her hand and reached up, pulling her into a hug. “I am so, so sorry.” She held onto Lucy for a moment, but a sinking feeling settled into her gut, and she pulled back.

“Lucy, when did you talk to James?” she asked.

“Last night,” Lucy said. “I’m supposed to go back to Metropolis… Kara, what is it?”

Kara reached up and pushed her glasses up so she could pinch the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry. God, I am so sorry.” She let out a sigh as she looked up at Lucy again. “I did exactly what I was trying *not* to do.”

“Kara, what are you talking about?”

“There are things I can’t tell you,” Kara said as she took Lucy’s hand again. “It’s not because I don’t trust you. I do. I know that sounds weird. We’ve only known each other a few days, but honestly, I would trust you with my life. But… You’re a soldier. You understand that sometimes information has to be compartmentalized.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said. “Yeah, of course.”

“I read James and a couple of other people into a big piece of information yesterday, Lucy. Well, more than one. I can’t tell you what it is, because you’d have a duty to report it to your superiors, at which point, any hope of containment is out the window. This is the kind of information that people would kill for.”

“I’d ask what could be that bad, but after working with my father for so long, I don’t want to know,” Lucy said.

“If you talked to James last night, and he was reluctant to talk, it’s probably just because he’s processing new information. Look, Lucy, maybe you can give it another try.”

Lucy shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve tried so many times, and I appreciate what you’re doing, even if it is for James, but-“

“It’s not,” Kara said. “It’s not for James. This is for you. I like James. He’s wonderful and supportive, and brave, but Lucy, you’re every bit as amazing as James is. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life with regrets. If you and James can have a life together and be happy, *you* deserve that. And if you can’t, you deserve to know that too.”

“You know, you’re pretty amazing yourself,” Lucy said.

Kara shrugged and lifted her face towards the ceiling in a dramatic gesture. “It’s my burden,” she said. “Go on. Go talk to James.”

“Okay,” Lucy said. “But, first, give me your phone.”

“Why?”

Lucy laughed and rolled her eyes. “For someone so charming, you sure have a hard time recognizing when a girl is trying to give you her digits.”

Kara landed on the public balcony on the forty-second floor of the CatCo building carrying a large binder, and immediately pulled open the door to let her into the floor. All six people immediately looked up at the sound, but there was one slightly strangled gasp from over by her office, and she had to fight not to smile.

“Ms. Danvers?” she called out.

“She’s not here,” Wilma replied. “She should be back in a few minutes, unless her meeting runs long.”

“Oh. Well, I brought back the list of proposed merchandise marked with the approvals.”

“Just leave it on her desk,” Wilma replied.

Kara nodded. “Okay,” she said backing towards her office. She turned around to find Carter standing next to his desk. “Oh… Hello.”

“Uh… Hi,” Carter said. A moment later, he started to blush furiously, and Kara could tell he was kicking himself.

She stepped forward and held out her hand. “I’m Supergirl… but you probably already know that,” she said, looking up and bouncing her head from side to side. She looked back down at him. “I mean, this makes it hard not to guess,” she said, gesturing to the El coat of arms. “And coming in through the balcony is a bit of a giveaway too.”

Carter laughed, and the blush faded, replaced by a smile. “The cape is a dead giveaway,” he said.

Kara looked back over her right shoulder, then over her left, before turning and bending down, asking Carter in a conspiratorial voice, “Do you think it’s too much?” she asked. “I wonder sometimes. I had an alien grab me by it and throw me through a wall during one of my first fights.”

“Really?” Carter asked.

���Yeah,” Kara said, nodding. “She said, ‘You might wanna rethink the cape’.” Kara had dropped her voice a bit when imitating Astra. “Then she grabbed it and flung me through a concrete wall.”

Carter’s eyes got wide. “Did it hurt?” he asked.

Kara waved her hand. “Nah. Concrete walls are really soft. Concrete floors though, those hurt.”

“Because the concrete won’t compress if there’s dirt under it?”

Kara smiled. “Exactly! Wow. You’re smart. I guess that explains why you’re working here when you’re so young.”

“Oh, I don’t work here. I’m just here with Kara until she gets off work.”

“Are you a friend of hers?”

“No. I mean… Well, I don’t really know her that well, but she’s really nice. But she’s taking care of me while my mom’s in Metropolis.”

“Oh! You’re Ms. Grant’s son.”

“She told you about me?”

“No, we didn’t really talk much about her,” Kara said. “But I saw a picture of you and her on her wall. I didn’t recognize you because you’ve grown a bit.”

“Yeah,” he said. “That picture was taken two years ago. I’m Carter, by the way.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Carter Grant,” she said. “But I have to get going.”

“Okay.”

Kara grinned and winked at Carter, then used a bit of her super-speed to zip into her office, and set the binder on her desk, before zipping back out again. She was just kicking off the balcony when his “Wow!” hit her ears.

KPJT Channel 3 Evening News

Richard Gardener Reporting

"And in late-breaking news this evening, another arrest has been made in connection with yesterday's bombing of a research lab in building fourteen of the Winslow Research Park. While no one at the NCPD is speaking about the matter on the record, CatCo News has exclusive footage of Maxwell Lord being led out of his lab in hand cuffs by Detective Maggie Sawyer, the same Detective who was scene commander at yesterday's bombing. Detective Sawyer was later seen escorting Lord into Police headquarters, and sources say the DA's office is currently working with federal prosecutors to bring charges against Lord, not just for this incident, but for a number of others based on evidence obtained in a search of Lord's home and office earlier today.  For KPJT Evening News, I'm Richard Gardener."

Cat shook her head and turned back to Vicki as the waiter set down a fresh round of drinks.

“What do you think?” Cat asked.

Vicki picked up her Manhattan and took a sip. “It’s a tempting offer, Cat. Head up a new investigative journalism division. I just don’t know about leaving Gotham.”

Cat took a sip of her own Martini. “Come on, Vale. Don’t play coy with me. You’re not twenty-five anymore and after what happened, I’d think you’d be itching to get out of Gotham.”

Vicki shrugged. “I’ve lived there a long time, Cat.”

“I’d lived in Metropolis a long time before I bought a run-down television station in National City,” Cat said. She sat down her drink and looked at Vicki. “You know John’s never going to put you back in the field again.”

Vicki sighed and nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I know.”

“He’s right, too,” Cat said. “After what Falcone did, it’s not safe.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” Vicki said.

“I don’t,” Cat replied. “I’d planned to offer the job to Snapper Carr.”

Vicki laughed. “Then why are we here, Cat?”

“Because every time I ask her to get me Snapper Carr’s number, my normally meek and obedient assistant suddenly develops selective amnesia, and the next morning, I find your, Lana Lang and Chloe Sullivan’s resumes on my desk, and I’d rather *not* hire someone who’s slept with Clark Kent.”

Vicki rolled her eyes. “I don’t think Chloe ever bagged that particular white whale. Though I admit, I came close a time or two. Grade A, corn fed, Kansas farm boy is good for the soul.”

“If wanting to sleep with Clark Kent were a crime, ninety percent of the women who’ve laid eyes on him would be locked up right now.”

“Not to mention at least ten percent of the men,” Vicki said. “I think Bruce might have tried to tap that at one point.”

Cat picked up her Martini and downed the entire thing in one go, before setting the glass down with a bit more force than necessary. “I did not need that mental image.”

“Oh, but it’s soooo pretty,” Vicki said, finishing her Manhattan, and waving for another round.

“Yes, well, once upon a time, I would have enjoyed it with you. Sadly, when Clark’s insanely perky cousin works as your assistant, it kind of spoils the fun. I can feel her judging me, all the way from National City.”

“Since when do you let anyone judge you, Cat?” Vicki said as the waiter came over, carrying more alcohol. “Wait… Oh, no. No! Not Cat Grant!”

Cat glared as Vicki’s face lit up in absolute delight. “I take it back. You can’t have the job,” she said.

“Oh, no. It’s too late. I am definitely taking the job. I’ve got to see this girl.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking, Vicki,” Cat said.

“Uh huh,” Vicki said, picking up her Manhattan.

“She’s barely twenty-five years old,” Cat growled.

“Well, now I definitely have to see her.”

“I hate you,” Cat said.

Vicki just shook her head. “If that were true, you would have slept with Bruce that night.”

Cat shrugged. “If you hadn’t had your head so far up your ass you can see your own teeth, you would know Bruce wasn’t the one I wanted to take back to my room.”

“Yeah, well, jealousy makes us all stupid sometimes, Cat.”

“And here I thought it was the heterosexuality,” Cat said.

“That too,” Vicki laughed.

“Considering the job I’m offering you, I hope you’ve gotten over that,” Cat said.

“What, the stupidity, or the heterosexuality?” Vicki asked.

“Preferably both, but I’ll settle for the stupidity,” Cat said.

“Well, I’ve definitely gotten over Bruce,” Vicki said.

“Everyone does eventually,” Cat said.

“Not Selina,” Vicki said.

“That’s got to hurt,” Cat said.

“Not as much as you’d think. If someone else wants to spend their life wondering when one of his stupid stunts is going to get him killed, they’re more than welcome to it. I’m not going to pretend that I won’t be a wreck when it finally happens, but I’ve managed to get enough distance that I don’t stay awake nights worrying about it anymore. Let Selina have that.”

“You’re going to take the job,” Cat said.

“Yeah,” Vicki said. “Of course, you knew that before you asked.”

“I don’t like to brag,” Cat said.

“Oh, come on, Cat. We both know that’s a lie.”

“True.”

“How soon do you want me to start?” Vicki asked.

“A month ago,” Cat said, “but until someone invents a time machine, I suppose I’ll have to settle for as soon as possible.”

“Monday then?” Vicki ask.

“That will do,” Cat replied. “Will John really let you go that fast?”

“John will help me pack,” Vicki said. “And honestly, the sooner I get out of Gotham, the happier everyone will be.”

[bratneykay]

BRO U KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN DO 1-64, MINUS 35 AND THE TWO YOU ALREADY DID OK. - BAN

THANKS BAN LOVE YOU MY DUDE

Ask Me 65 Questions You Aren’t Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Not the existence no, but sometimes I think about my life being like “The Truman Show”

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Not sure how to answer this question because obviously for too long, I could get scared, but I have to sleep in pure darkness, so..

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Myself in an alternate dimension? Lmao, I don’t know. i think I would want to meet everyone at least once.

4. What is your favorite word?

Magical

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A Christmas Tree!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

You’re naked, put some clothes on.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A college T-shirt :)

8. What do you label yourself as?

Kind, Passionate, Loving, Dedicated, lmao I could go onnnnnn

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark, cause I want sleep.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Talking to my BANITAAA, avoiding sleep like usual

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

Five Years Old, I want to be that age again. I really didn’t have any worries in the world. My parents were still together, we still had a house and my baby brother was just born. 

12. Who told you they loved you last?

BANITA

13. Your worst enemy?

The guy I used to have a fling with. But he doesn’t even know that I dislike him as much as I do.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of the Effiel Tower in front of an orange and blue sunset-sky

15. Do you like someone?

Unfortunately not

16. The last song you listened to?

A Thousand Years by Christina Perrie

17. You can press a button that will make anyone person explode. Who would you blow up?

This is hella violent and I don’t wish to answer hahaha

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

It truly took me a long time to answer this and I’m still not sure.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Mmmmm I don’t like the word (or the action of making someone a..) slave, so let’s change it to ‘voluntarily be my assistant for a day’ and I’d say Tom Holland. We’d all know what I’d have him do… ;)

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

I have pretty full lips, not big, just full. Kissable I’d say. I also have really soft hair and on a good day, a nice figure. 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I think I would be tall and thick, not necessarily musclar, but definitely not a lean guy. Probably touch myself and then go out and have sex (if I could find someone to have sex with me, but probably not cause I’m still lame even as the opposite sex,) just to see how it felt. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I guess singing? It’s not a secret, but I don’t openly share that about myself because I don’t sing in front of large crowds. 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Paper fucking cuts. Hate them with my life. I’m so scared of this, I’m shivering just thinking about it. 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Spicy Italian! Salami, Pepperoni, Provolone Cheese, and Banana Peppers (because I love them so very much).

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

This is lame, but probably some good food. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Hahahaha I’m about to be even more lame, but I do not drink alcohol. Not because it is illegal for me to drink in the states (but that as well), but just because I don’t care enough to try it, so didn’t want to give myself a reason to need it. 

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

All love, no hate. 

29. What is your favorite expletive?

I use the word ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ a lot, so probably that. :)

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

This is kinda scary because there was a fire not too far from where I’m at and it got to the point where my parents were afraid they were going to have to evacuate..Anyways, I have a couple pictures of my parents when they were married, and then a picture of my family because everything kinda went to shit. It’s the only copies we know of and they are kinda old, but I never want to lose those pictures. 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Is this a question? Lmao. Ummmmm, if I was sleeping with celebrities, we all know I’d be up in London right now, but most of my celebrity crushes live there. 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

I don’t really know to be quite honest. I’d probably say my family’s dog that died about a month ago. 

34. What was your last dream about?

GOD, IT WAS WEIRD. It was something about the world ending and everything pretty much up in flames, and my family and I had to hide in this basement thing so the wind didn’t blow smoke into our lungs. Then, for some reason, I got to repeat the day over again and I tried to save everyone and went to the president about it, but it turns out it was Trump trying to take over the world with Nuclear Bombs and that’s where the smoke and stuff came from. It was wild. 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Fortuantely, no. 

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

If you haven’t, have you even lived? Just kidding, but yes, I love it!

38. What is the color of your socks?

Not wearing at this particular moment, but mostly black and white. 

39. What type of music do you like?

I listen to a variety of different music, it’s crazy. My favorite is problem alternative rock or alternative pop!

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, i love the colors! Even a bad day can seem like it’s ending beautifully.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Recently, it’s been Oreo, but I used to love Chocolate. 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don’t really follow either to be quite honest. I just can’t watch sports on TV, I prefer to see them in person. 

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a scar above my right eyelid from when I had surgery when I was five!

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

A Physician’s Assistant and I’m thinking about being an OBGYN :) Woot woot

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Maybe how shy and antisocial I can be? I just don’t mind not talking to people, but it bothers everyone else I guess

46. Are you reliable?

To be there if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, yes. But with things like not losing something important or forgetting a birthday, definitely not. 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Nothing. I don’t wanna know shit lmao

48. Do you hold grudges?

I tryyyy, I really try to hold grudges against my mother, but it’s only lasted two days. There are some things that hurt me that I hold onto for a long time, but in terms of how I’d treat said person, I’d be kind to them even if they completely broke my heart

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

This is a bit scary to imagine, but a whale and an ant. A Whant. 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Mmmm, guess it wasn’t anything too unusual because nothing comes to mind. Probably some late night conversation that I had with my best friend.

51. Are you a good liar?

Depends on what I’m lying about. Probably not though. I’m good at making fake excuses, idk if that’s the same thing. 

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh gosh, maybe 24 hours. I sing a lot, just like walking around. Does that count? I’d probably go crazy. 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

HA. When I was about four (I even remember doing this), I took scissors to my own hair and just cut it wherever I wanted. Let’s just say, it was not a good look :|

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Mm, idk if this is referring to literally or via Urban Dictionary, butttttt....No?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

I’M VERY BAD AT ACCENTS SORRY

56. What do you like on your toast?

Ham and Eggs to make a sandwich!

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Probably a heart, I don’t really draw, just doodle. 

58. What would be you dream car?

A jeep haha idk I just really like the look of them! Not really into cars though, as long as it works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

If I had my own place, I would, but I don’t like singing when people can hear me kinda, soooo I don’t sing in the shower usually. But if I’m home alone, YOU GON BET I WILL

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yes! I feel like the glaxay is too big for us to be the only living life form

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Nahhh, don’t completely agree with them

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Oooh I love me some weird questions. I like the letter Y, because in ASL, it’s the hang-loose sign. 

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Uh dragons can spit fire and fly??? Why is this a question

64. What do you think about babies?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE ME SOME BABIES! I mean, I want to be an OBGYN, so what does that tell you hahaha

[archieimagines]

Family Don’t End With Blood | Dean Winchester Series | Part 1

I’ve had this idea for a series for a while and decided to try to write it! Reader is the child of Dean Winchester and one of his many one nightstands. But what happens when her mother is mysteriously killed at the hand of angels? And will the reader let the Winchesters into her heart?

word count: 1999 words. warnings: violence, mental illness (schizophrenia, ADHD, dyslexia), swearing, angst, blood and gore.

enjoy ;)

You never knew your father, mom had always said that it was a one night stand. He was apparently some FBI agent that had stopped in town for a case, and he and your mom met at the local bar and later that night you were conceived. He didn’t even know you existed, you thought that had to be better than him knowing and wanting nothing to do with you.

But it would have been nice to have help to look after your mom. She had never been quite ‘there’, she was always going about how she could hear the voices and would sometimes look at you say you weren’t her daughter. Which was impossible because you looked exactly like her except you had vibrant green eyes and were almost 6’0, that you had apparently inherited from your father. When you were 11 she was diagnosed as a schizophrenic after she had screamed in the middle of a dinner how the ‘voices’ were looking for her. Not long after that, you were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, so not only were you making sure she was getting her treatments, you had to look after yourself. Which meant you practically raised yourself, by the time you were 17 you dropped out of high school, taking an online course so you were closer to your mother.

That was a year ago today. You were currently working at the diner just on the outskirts of the small town you had lived in your whole life. It wasn’t the best job, but it was the best you could do for the time being. Unbeknownst to you, this was the day your life would change forever, for better or for worse.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

You groaned while turning over in your bed to shut off the alarm you had set the night before. Sitting up, you stretched out your arms and yawned. The sound of pots and pans clanging alerted to you that mom was awake. Jumping out of bed, you quickly got dressed in the tight uniform of the diner, pulling at the top so your cleavage wasn’t spilling out. You tied up your hair, grabbed your phone and car keys before exiting the room.

You entered the kitchen, your mom’s back was turned away from you as she washed the dishes from last night’s dinner. She said nothing, focusing completely on the current task. You walked to the island bench and pulled out your and your mother’s prescription boxes.

“Mom, have you taken your meds?” You inquired looking at the box, she didn’t reply which told you she hadn’t. You popped out two capsules and grabbed the orange juice and poured it into a tall glass.  “Here,” you said, practically shoving the glass and meds in her face. She grunted, drying her hands off with a tea towel before taking them from you.

“When are you getting home?” She asked quietly, pulling gently at her dressing gown.

“Around 11 tonight,” you answered swallowing your own medicine, coughing a bit after.

“You have to be home earlier than that,” she demanded, her eyes squeezed shut.

“Well, that’s when my shift finishes, not a lot I can do.”

“I can’t be alone! They’re going to find me!” She shouted, bringing her fist against her chest. You straightened your posture and held out your hands warily.

“No one’s coming for you, mom. It’s just the schizophrenia talking,” you tried to soothe.

“I’m not sick! They came once when I was pregnant, and they’re going to come back. Please, you can’t let them take me!” She screamed, grabbing onto you hard enough to leave bruises. You grimaced, but didn’t push her away, instead pulling her into a bone-crushing hug and resting your chin on her head as she cried into your chest.

“You’re fine, shh. I’m here, mom. You’re okay,” you whispered on a loop, for almost ten minutes until she calmed down. You sat her down onto one of the dining room chairs, before grabbing a glass of water. “I’ll try to get home earlier, okay?” She nodded silently and squeezed your hand.

You left soon after that, stopping at your next door neighbours. They were a lovely elderly couple, who always kept an eye on your mother while you were at work. You told them about her episode and instructed them to call you if anything else happened. Then rushed over to your red 1970 Pontiac GTO, turning on the ignition and speeding to the diner, seeing you were 15 minutes late for work.

You turned off the engine and ran inside, huffing and puffing, receiving a few odd glances from the customers. You walked behind the counter and to the staff room to see your card had already been punched in. You smiled realising that your best friend Rachel had done it to save your ass… again. Sighing, you grabbed an apron and tied it around your waist.

You went out front, bumping waists with Rachel, who was refilling the ketchup and mustard bottles. She laughed, but stopped when she saw past your happy facade and instead the worry in your eyes. Not even having to ask what happened she hugged you tightly, letting you know that she was here for you.

“Would you two stop hugging and get to work!” Your boss shouted from the kitchen his thick Irish accent making it almost impossible for anyone but the two of you to understand him.

“Fine, Sean!” You both called out in response while rolling your eyes. The day progressed like normal, the same people that always came in did just that. Some people passing through stopped to try some of the famous pie Sean made every day. The only odd thing about the day was the news. Reports of strange murders all around the area, people who had no interaction with the other victims were found with their eyes burned out of their heads. It was worrying at one point a police officer came onto the tv to assure everyone everything was going to be all right. But for some reason you felt like something terrible was going to happen. And all the stress was giving you a killer headache. It felt like your head was about to split right open, like someone was trying to get inside your mind, even. You shook that thought, chuckling at how stupid you were being.

Sean let you off early due to the headache, wishing you a good night. You said bye to Rachel, before jumping into your car and headed home. But stopping at the convenience store, grabbing a bag of M&Ms for you and mom to share if she wasn’t already in bed.

Your heart froze when you pulled up at your driveway. The door of your small home was wide open, practically hanging off its hinges. You launched yourself out of the car, leaving the engine running as your tore inside the house. Several vases and fine china were smashed on the floor.

“Mom! MOM!” You screamed, panic rising in your chest, you checked the whole house. It was a wreck, photos, glass, paper were all strewn over the ground. Several pieces of furniture were turned upside down. By the time you reached the kitchen, tears were gushing down your face, which only increased at the sight you saw.

Your mother was atop the bench, cuts all over her body, blood seeping out a multitude of them, but the most horrific sight was the two gaping holes in her head where her eyes used to be. You screamed as your heart broke. You climbed onto the bench and pulled her head against your chest.

“Please, please don’t. Mommy. Don’t leave, I can’t do this without you.” You cried until the police came storming into your house after they had gotten several calls saying they heard screaming from your house. They had to tear you away from your mother so the morgue could take her and so they could question you. Not to long after that, Rachel came thundering in, wrapping you up in her arms. Her own tears soaking your shoulder, but you couldn’t cry anymore, you felt nothing. You were only a shell of a person without your mom, you weren’t a full person. Rachel stayed with you the rest of the night, not once leaving your side. You sat in the living room, clutching onto an old picture of you and your mother. It was just after you were born, you were wrapped up in your mother’s arms, she was smiling softly at the camera while your grandfather sat next to her, arms around her shoulders. You realised at that point, you had no family, your grand parents had been dead for years and you had no uncles or aunts and your father was complete mystery.

Well, until Rachel came down with small photo clasped in her hands. She had been going through your mothers things, so you didn’t have to. She placed it in your hands, your eyes scrunching up in disbelief. It was a photo of your father, he and your mother were sitting close together in a booth, beers in hand. You saw the similarities between him and yourself, the eyes being the most obvious, they were identical. But now you saw you actually had the same shaped lips, nose and shade of hair. Looking at your mother, you were shocked at how different she looked. She looked a lot younger, no bags under her eyes from sleepless nights. Eyes bright and aware instead of glassy and far away, and no age lines whatsoever.

You wanted to rip the picture apart as well as keep it by your heart forever. Your heart fighting with itself, one side wanted it destroyed because it reminded you that your mother was gone and how hard of life she had ended up having. While the other wanted to keep it because it gave you an idea of what she was like before everything had gone downhill. The fact your father was in it made no difference for you.

Your thoughts were cut off by a knock at the door, you stood up, and held on to the memory of your mother tightly. At the door were two men dressed in suits, one was facing you and the other was turned away and talking on the phone. The taller of the two introduced himself as Agent Perry and his partner was Agent Springsteen. He said he was from the FBI, which you had a hard time believing because of his ridiculously long hair. He started to explain to you that he thought your mother’s death was somehow linked to the string of murders happening all over the country, while he surveyed the house. You heard a curse from behind you, causing you to turn around.

In front of you was the man from the picture in your hand. Your estranged father, who up until today you had honestly thought you’d never meet, was standing before you. He stared back at you in shock, obviously recognising himself in you.

“Do I know y—?” He started warily, but you cut him off with your fist that wasn’t holding the picture, hitting him square in the face. A rage you had never felt before bubbled inside you, it was coursing through your veins and made you feel alive. He recoiled, shouting in pain, his partner turned around preparing to draw his gun. Your father looked up at you, eyes full of confusion and anger.

“Hi asshole, I’m your kid.,” you introduced yourself sarcastically, holding your hand which you were certain that you’d just sprained. Both your father and his partner froze in shock while Rachel came out to ask what was going on. Only to freeze when she saw you apparent father on the ground, you cradling your injured hand and a giant with some long ass hair reaching for his gun in your entryway.

written by: spaz

[wonderrful]

appreciation post because why the fuck not i love these people

@beanie-betty you’re my wife and a complete angel

@jettybugaboo you’re just,,,,, my favourite :’) (i’m so emo i can’t express my love for you in words)

@ninelittledevils you’re like my soul sister and i adore you (also it’s pani puri sorry)

@softieparker you’re pure and amazing and fuck, you have the best taste in music

@dawn-to-dusk-already the best human on this planet. literally. the best.

@allthingsbughead music blog!!!!!! also just the best,,, and WOKE af

@jollybetty um babe um babe just ily urihgwghuriwhgiwwlliwh you’re the best :’)

@bettyscooperr 11/10 will kill you for a cat. also a babe. (a package deal tbh)

@ohkingsteve​ kink queen and proud™ and literally gorgeous and also the best writer????

@endlessvoidofrandomness sarcastic and funny and someone please hire her as a standup comedian she’d be great,,,, also is a professional binge watcher oml show me how

@allskynostars gives me alcohol and life advice and is the loveliest human!!! also loves bastille and harry styles and so like,,,,,, favourite human for sure

@bettyl0vesjuggie MY HART BUDDY also such a talented writer go check her out people

@lusterrdust i could not ask for a better person to rant about riverdale to :’) tumblr crush #1 and an angel!

@jsmndns music!buddy! amazing taste in music but sleeps to late,,,,,, is my child feirhgirehgiugrlwiug ilysm

@christmasbughead MARVEL PAL! you love loki, i love loki, let’s get married

@jinglejanglejones guherlihgulrwhgrhguwrlhguiwrlhgluerihgurwghuwlrghiewu. me about sierra always because she’s the best

@hotsforbughead skam!and!cutie!and!ily!

@daisy-chain-gardens breaks my heart with her stories, fixes it with her beauty inside and out

@mionetrash cutest accent! cutest face! squish!

@rubyventure who introduced me to my favourite gif of all time :’) deserves all the awards for being awesome

@tikiluv7 my lad my love my life

@tory-b um?????? the best????? also a psychology major?????? and???? like???? the best????? (girls go date her she’d make the best girlfriend)

@ellabeth01 irish babe :’) gives me alcohol advice too and sings part of me by katy perry what more do you want in a human

@boogiebuggie um literally the nicest human being on the planet AND SO FUCKING CARING it makes me tear up your amazingness has no bounds! also literally so talented wtf you should be illegal

@bughead4ever823 strong!sweet!scute!special!sheena!ily!

@youbuildmeupbeliever literally the most supportive and positive person around?????? teach me your ways senpai

@yourfaithwasstrong is the embodiment of “pure smol angelic bean”

@holydemogorgon nice????? gorgeous?????? smart????? talented????? you’re literally goals in a human oml ily

@jingle---jangle IS A BABE. and so sweet and precious oml

@stilinski-martin makes the fucking cutest icons???? and is such a babe?????

@dive-in-ice is the cutest cutie to ever cute (except she’s MIA???? ice come back please ily)

@bugheadotp is the most amazing photographer oml i die

@lessoleilscouchants the.most.talented.human.ever.literally. also kills me with her writing 25/8

[perfectirishgifts]

How ‘The World’s Best Travel Jeans’ Brand Pivoted After The World Stopped Traveling

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/how-the-worlds-best-travel-jeans-brand-pivoted-after-the-world-stopped-traveling/

How ‘The World’s Best Travel Jeans’ Brand Pivoted After The World Stopped Traveling

The World’s Best Travel Jeans work when you’re not traveling, too.

My favorite travel apparel is made by a local Los Angeles company called Aviator. Don’t tell anyone I said this but I essentially live in two pairs of Aviator’s comfort-stretch travel jeans — officially called The Best Travel Jeans in the World— made from 49% Lyocell, 42% cotton, 6% elasterell, and 3% spandex. You know travel jeans are extraordinary when you wear them in a year like 2020 when everyone is stuck at home all the time.

Colby Kane is the designer and former Macy’s art director behind the brand, and he and I are kindred spirits. We both live to travel and make travel part of our work. But since March, he’s had to adjust to the radical new realities of running a small fashion brand in the most challenging business climate in recent history.

Aviator’s new air-dry polo is modeled after the classic tailored polos of the 1960s and 70s but … [] built with sweat-proof, stink-proof materials.

Aviator recently introduced a new air-dry polo shirt made from the same sweat-proof, odor-resistant, take-it-anywhere fabric that’s the brand’s signature. Aviator makes hoodies, t-shirts and, now, face masks with merino wool, and the stuff is practically bombproof. The new polo is cut like a classic with a crisp collar, a tailored fit at the shoulders and a nifty Aviator airplane logo at the chest that signals: you haven’t given up on going places.

I asked Kane how he’s managing in the face of pandemic shutdowns, and what keeps him sane as he pivots and re-prioritizes, all while staying in style.

Being a small clothing company among the giants of retail was already challenging. How did the pandemic impact on Aviator? 

Colby Kane: The pandemic had a huge impact on Aviator. Since we make clothing for the travel lifestyle our sales completely stopped from March 13th to the beginning of April. I remember seeing a couple sales come in for jeans and thinking “who’s buying jeans right now for their next trip?” It was over those first couple of weeks of the pandemic that I think being small and scrappy was an advantage. Most of those ‘giants’ don’t make products here in the USA, making it much harder for them to pivot to masks. Without pivoting to masks I believe we would have closed down the business. We are self-funded with zero investment and never would have survived. 

Wow. How big a part of the business did masks become?

It was a huge part of our business from April through July. I never envisioned making masks before but here we are. On April 1st, I spoke with some of my LA factories to see if we could work together on becoming an essential business and stay open by making masks. We have since donated thousands of masks to the frontline workers and other essential businesses. We started selling the masks through our website which helped keep our factories open and saved jobs. Mask sales actually skyrocketed as we moved into the beginning of summer, and we could no longer keep up with the demand. I feel like every small brand in LA and beyond started making masks to help keep their businesses afloat. People now have mask fatigue but post-pandemic I do believe that mask wearing will be a big part of the Western world’s culture. People in Asia have been wearing masks for decades as part of their day-to-day life. Masks are now a small part of our revenue, and sales of our core products—the jeans, hoodies, and shirts—have started to pick up and are about 75% of where they were pre-pandemic. Masks will be thought of as an accessory moving forward. 

Take us inside your design mind on the new polo shirt. What was wrong with the classics you see everywhere else? 

I’ve been so excited about the launch of our polo style shirt. There have been brands built on the polo shirt from Polo, Ralph Lauren to Lacoste, Fred Perry and others. It’s a staple shirt and everyone has at least one in their wardrobe. Just like all Aviator products the shirt had to have style and function. I knew I wanted to use merino wool because that would provide the function. Using merino wool meant this polo can be worn over and over again without needing to be washed. When it’s time to freshen it up with a hand wash, merino wool dries faster than cotton. 

For the style of the polo, it was important to me that it have a rib collar and armband like the original designer polo shirts from the Sixties and Seventies. I originally also wanted the body to be a pique knit, which is mesh-like. We tested this several times but the merino wool just gained too much weight and began to get torqued. The solution was to keep the rib collar and armbands, but change the body knit to a classic knit.

What I released after several samples felt like the perfect balance of style and function I was looking for. Adding the Aviator logo to the chest was an easy decision for me. I wanted to create a sort of badge for the modern traveler or jet-setter; just like those older brands were a badge for the country club. We worked hard on developing a fit that’s tailored and diverse. The merino wool jersey has a nice natural drape while the collar has enough structure to pop up and keep the sun off the back of your neck. 

What’s selling best for you right now and why? 

During COVID we launched a new “fly-light” and “fly-straight” five-pocket jean for men and women that don’t have the extra hidden travel pockets. They are more like traditional jeans but with our special denim blended fabric that is extremely comfortable. The thought process for these new styles was to create jeans that are for everyday wear. We also wanted to make a jean in the USA and retail them at an unbelievable price point. They’re $85 and have been our best seller since launching this past September. 

What’s exciting you most about the future? 

Getting back to traveling! Once the world opens back up I believe there will be a travel boom like no other time.

Any new personal pursuits or guilty pleasure you’ve taken up during the pandemic to stay sane?

I’ve been spending as much time as possible in Mammoth, California, with my family. We have been exploring the Eastern Sierras and Yosemite. Lots of outdoor activities like mountain biking, hiking, and, my personal favorite, snowboarding.

From Retail in Perfectirishgifts

[lanadelreyfiles-blog]

Lana Del Rey tells everything about her new album ‘Lust For Life’ and leaves a message for Brazilian fans. Interview by Mari Pacheo for Portal Pop Online (Brazil). Are you counting the days for Friday (21) and the release of ‘Lust For Life’? We also took advantage of the anxiety to talk to Lana Del Rey over the phone about her new album! After listening to some of the album's new tracks, we chatted with the singer, who was very nice, and told us some details about the partnerships with The Weeknd and A$AP Rocky, possible collaborations with Marina and The Diamonds and Katy Perry, inspiration for this new work and even talked about the current scene of pop music. Of course we do not stop asking about a possible visit to Brazil and if she knows the LDRV group of Facebook! — Hi Lana, thank you for talking to us! Lana Del Rey: Hi, how are you? No problem, I'm excited! — Of course we want to know more details of 'Lust For Life.' First of all, the cover! You look beautiful and smiling, so you could say that you are happier and more confident with your job? LDR: Hmmm, yes. I think I can say that I'm more confident. You know, I've always been very happy with my music, but I've always had to work hard until I feel comfortable presenting it. But surely now I have two albums that I love a lot, 'Honeymoon' and 'Ultraviolence', so I'm more focused. Well, the cover was photographed by my sister on the day of the recording of the ‘Love’ clip. We photographed at the bottom of that truck and the funny thing is that this is the same truck as the cover of 'Born To Die'! — One of the cool things about your career, other than music, is your looks. Everything related to you, whether album cover, promotional photos or videos, are thought carefully and easy to recognize as something of your own. Are you behind this concept? How important is that in your career? LDR: Ahh thanks! Yes definitely. You know, we thought of everything in a rather futuristic way, like in the video of ‘Love’ and it took a long time to be finalized and make it seem like I was on the moon... All this is very important because I believe that for a long time I did not have a "message", you know? I just wrote and sang about the things I went through and having songs with a wider perspective and being able to incorporate a more social panorama into my music is cool. Although the clip of 'Lust For Life.' — We had the opportunity to listen to 5 tracks from your new album and I felt that, like many other artists, you were also influenced by the current political and social scene in the United States. Is this theme really something that you took into consideration in your new compositions? LDR: Yes ... I cut three songs from this album, which were decidedly political, but I also left some that say exactly what I mean, like ‘God Bless America - And All The Beautiful Women In It‘ ​and ‘When the World Was at War We Kept Dancing.’ So I feel that it was even more reflective, with all this confusion... It certainly expresses what I and the people I know feel and obviously other people around the world. — How do you differentiate 'Lust For Life' from 'Ultraviolence,' 'Honeymoon' and 'Born To Die'? LDR: I think my main influence on ‘Lust For Life’ began with the concept of the word lust, but in a more complete way. Not just the concept of desire as for example with a boyfriend, but something more malleable and romantic, like vibrations. That would be so much more comfortable than anything I've done so far. When I started producing ‘Lust For Life,’ I wanted the album to be quieter in nature... I'm in a different phase now, but I still have some harder things in some songs. As for example in the bands with A$AP Rocky, I feel that there is still a bit of aggression and this caught me by surprise. I'm fine, you know, but it still reflects a lot of what I feel and how I am. — You just released 'Summer Bummer' and 'Groupie Love,' both songs with A$AP Rocky. What was it like working with him? LDR: Yes, he is a person like The Weeknd, who I knew... I knew that if I had collaborations on that album, those two guys would be in it for sure. I think he and I (A$AP) came out the same year, 2011 ... He's great and he's a really good rapper! He has a really cool sensitivity and never does anything in half. He is the opposite of boring. His lyrics are excellent and one of his most loved songs is called ‘LSD.’ In fact, he also enjoys the 60's a lot and his new songs also have a slightly more retro feel. I think we are in the same moment. It was wonderful to record some tracks with him. — How do you usually choose your partnerships? Do you choose close people or make plans and invitations? LDR: Weeknd and Rocky, I see them all the time. Sean Lennon (who is in 'Tomorrow Never Came') and Stevie Nicks (who is in 'Beautiful People Beautiful Problems'), I did not know them, but I got their phone number, I invited them to join my record and luckily they said yes. — Still on the subject of collaborations, you are friends with Marina and The Diamonds and a few months ago you met in Los Angeles. Can we say that there is a possibility for a partnership between you in the future? LDR: Fully! Absolutely! I love her! She's an amazing songwriter! — What about Katy Perry? You were together at Coachella... LDR: I do not know! It's true, I met Katy at Coachella. I do not remember which show we watched together, but she was in the same place as me ... But you never know, did you? It would be nice. — Of the new songs that we could hear, we love 'Change.' Can you already choose your favorite 'Lust For Life' track? LDR: I also really like ‘Change.’ I think this is a really cool song because I could work with the feeling that things will really change... In our political scenario. I start the song by saying “There's something in the wind, I can feel it blowing in. It's coming softly, on the wings of a bond.” I also love the reference of blowing in the wind , which reminds me of one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs. There are so many layers in this song, like little things that have been incorporated into it and are very important to me. The chorus also talks about people I know personally who can be strong enough in the middle of it all. All the songs are like little journals of my own ... I also really love the song with Rocky, 'Summer Bummer.' She is very cool, well summer. I love to drive listening to this one! — You know that many younger singers like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez often mention you as a great inspiration. How do you deal with it and what did you think of Miley's cover for 'Summertime Sadness'? LDR: I liked the cover of Miley and I think this is really cool. It's great to hear pop music when artists incorporate things into their music and I think I'm a person who has always done it. So if I can contribute to the music in any way, it would be saying that it is "ok" to inject your own personality into your music. I feel that if I contributed that way, that's great. There was a time when pop music was so interesting and there were layers inside it, like when The Beach Boys was one of the most famous pop groups of all time. They did not just have a good beat and rhyme, But culturally they had an impact. I think we're getting back to some of that, especially with hip hop popping in and modifying pop music, because hip hop has always had a very strong narrative. I feel like this is a good time for music as a whole, I see pop changing. — Well, I have an important question: Do you have plans to return to Brazil? LDR: Haha, for sure! I have plans for next year! — And before you finished, did you know that here in Brazil there is a Facebook group with more than half a million people called LDRV (Lana Del Rey Vevo)? Could you leave a message for them? LDR: Of course, I'll have to do this! I already knew about this group, but you just reminded me! So, I'm sure to leave a message!