#to the little gay people in my computer...

[boxdstars]

IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT

Hello little gay people in my computer (and all others <3), I'm going to be taking an extended break from the fandom. It is not applicable with any recent dramas, I'm terminally out of the loop and also in utter truth, can't be asked to care LMAO.

The reason is much simpler: I have gradually moved on. My brainrot is elsewhere and has been for some good time. Granted, Amara is always on my mind but she's always been devoid from HL canon, I've been more focused on her later arc and devoid from the canon cast entirely. So Amara (and Marie) likers don't worry, it's not as if I'm up and running away altogether.

Additionally, I've just been living on campus. Before, I was in community college and now that I live on suite, I've found myself ridiculously swamped. I have sorority obligations (yeah I'm in one now crazy right haha), academic obligations, and romantic obligations all of which take higher precedence and genuinely have negated a lot of my unhealthier escapist tendencies (BIG WIN).

OKAY boring stuff aside, this blog is not going to be gone for good. I have too many bangers to delete it, and besides HP was and still is a massive part of my life, even if Legacy isn't too much of an interest for me anymore. You'll still see art of Amara, other MC's and the like, but probably more Marauders and Golden Trio era content, as I vastly prefer it over the HL era surprise surprise. But that's whenever I come back.

WHICH I WILL BE, BY THE WAY. I'm not going to go dark and then unceremoniously pop back to life in one weeks time, I'm still here per se, but I'm just too burnt out and too busy even if I wasn't.

Anyways- I have my main multifandom blog (lanabenikosdoormat) which is also slowing down but I still will be active on. My instagram (sodapopsalesguy), and of course all the prexisting fandom discord servers I'm in, which I will not be leaving, this is how I stay up to date on affairs.

Anyways big hugs and kisses to you guys, thank you for everything (this sounds morbid I'm still alive and kicking teehee)

[anisecandy]

Long distance internet friends are the universe's most twisted and sick joke. What do you mean I can't invite them over for tea and cookies. Just rip my heart out and get this farce over with.

[beeehiives]

Scars

Healing together, bandage changing, and boys kissing

Steve stays with Eddie in the hospital, after everything. He watches him breathe under the sterile, too-bright lights of the room, and reminds himself that he's alive.

His own wounds are light in comparison, his neck taking a few raspy days to heal up and his bat bites lightening to pinkish healing tissue in no time.

It takes Eddie two excruciating days to wake up, and when he does he's all groggy and confused.

He lays a hand over the extensive bandages covering his torso and croaks out a weary "made it, huh?"

Even with bleary eyes, messy hair, and furrowed brows, Steve still thinks Eddie looks beautiful. He holds his tongue.

It's only after Eddie's released from the hospital under strict guidelines not to bother his healing wounds that Steve realizes how deep his damage goes.

Steve volunteers to help Eddie around the house - his shifts at Family Video have been put on pause as the whole town repairs itself from the "earthquake" a few weeks ago - and Eddie still needs help with activities that require lifting his arms; getting dishes down from the cabinet, changing his shirt, even laundry.

Steve catches glimpses of it in Eddie's cagey behavior. He makes him close his eyes when he changes Eddie out of his shirt, only letting him look when he's cozy in his pajamas.

He'll refuse completely when Steve offers to help him wash his hair or face, changing the topic as quick as he can.

It comes to a head when the doctor starts letting Eddie change his own bandages at home if needed - his healing is coming along steadily and Eddie keeps complaining about making the trip out just to get poked and prodded at.

Still, he's supposed to have help. The bandages go all the way around his torso, and Eddie's still not supposed to be twisting around.

Eddie tells Steve that Wayne always helps him out with the bandages, so no need for him to worry. He tells Wayne that Steve's been doing it.

One night, Wayne's at work and Steve's at the new Munson Residence (thanks, government hush money), working on cleaning that night's dinner dishes.

Eddie darts by him, having grabbed fresh bandages from the hallway closet and making his way to the bathroom.

"Whoa, dude, you changing those?" Steve stops washing the bowl in his hand. "Shouldn't you wait for Wayne?"

"I'm not--It's fine, really." Eddie says quickly. Steve puts the bowl down and faces Eddie, drying his hands.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be doing that by yourself."

"It's not that big of a--"

"Eddie," Steve says, firm. "Let me help you. You could seriously hurt yourself."

Let me help you. Let me take care of you.

Eddie looks stuck between a rock and a hard place. He's gone too long without changing them, since the last time he did it he got lightheaded and had to sit on the floor of the bathroom, hunched over in pain with tears stinging his eyes.

"Fine," It's barely a whisper.

They awkwardly shuffle to the bathroom, Steve rolling up the sleeves of his sweater and Eddie fiddling with his rings.

"Okay," Steve says. "I don't mind looking away to help you change. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. But I've gotta look to do your bandages. How does Wayne usually do it?"

Eddie shifts uncomfortably. He's not sure what to do with his hands.

"I don't--He doesn't, really." Eddie says quietly. "I don't want him--anyone to see. What I look like."

Steve's heart sinks. He feels guilty for not realizing how this was affecting Eddie sooner. He wants to reach out, to take the feeling away. He tries for words.

"I've got some too." Steve reaches for the hem of his sweater. He lifts it enough to show the remains of his bat scars, still healing but well on their way to becoming scars.

"Oh, and--" Steve continues, parting his hair on the left side of his head to reveal a thin, white scar. "That one's from a plate to the head. Fun times."

Lastly, he moves the neck of his sweater over to reveal a circular, purple scar just below his collarbone. It's old, clearly. The wound looked like it had been deep.

"There was a thing that happened at the mall, before it, uh, burned down These guys were interrogating me, and I wasn't giving them anything, so, you know," Steve makes a vague gesture. "Knife time, I guess."

"Can I touch?" Eddie whispers. He's been silent this whole time, staring at Steve like he's seeing him for the first time.

Steve nods, moves to take off his shirt, and lets Eddie feel his way around his scars. He closes his eyes when Eddie gently runs his fingers through his hair to inspect the scar Billy had given him.

Eddie's hands drop to his stomach, gently tracing over the bat bites, moving their way up until Eddie closes his palm over the scar near Steve's collarbone, causing him to shudder.

"I just--nothing could make me think, could make me see you as anything other than--beautiful," Steve breathes. "I want you to know that."

Eddie nods. His gaze is unreadable. He holds his palm over Steve's chest for a few seconds before stepping back.

"Could you take this off?" Eddie gestures to his own shirt. Steve nods, grabbing it by the hem and closing his eyes before lifting it.

Once it's off, Steve puts it on the countertop, keeping his eyes shut. He feels a gentle hand on his face.

"You can look." Eddie says. Steve opens his eyes to see Eddie's eyes, lovely and wide, staring up at him with trust.

"May I?" Steve asks, reaching for Eddie's bandages. He nods. Gingerly, Steve removes the layers of wrapping from Eddie's torso. Eddie has moved to steady himself on Steve's shoulder.

Once they're off, Steve makes eye contact with Eddie again, checking in.

"Doing okay?" At Eddie's nod, Steve takes the new bandages and wraps them around, having to step closer to fasten them behind Eddie's back.

All finished, Steve starts to move back. He's stopped by Eddie's hands on his waist.

"Thank you," Eddie whispers. He's leaning closer. "Hurts much less with you doing it."

"I'm glad." Steve manages. His gaze is glued to Eddie's lips. His heart is pounding.

Eddie's the one that crosses the boundary, kissing Steve with gentle fervor, hands wrapping around Steve's waist.

Steve breathes out like he's been suffocating, bringing his hands up to cup Eddie's jaw.

Between tongues and panting breaths and beating hearts, Eddie breaks away for a few seconds to manage: "Do it for me every time?"

Eddie heals a little smoother after that.

-+-

Smooch smooch thank you for reading, as always feel free to submit a fic/ficlet request via my bio (•‿•)

[crimsongrimoire]

the sleepyboys have arrived

@vizerothree they're so precious i love them 😭

[brinnanza]

i identify as a lesbian and that's not wrong because I like woman in a profoundly gay way and I recognize that I'm going to be gendered female because of my appearance and I'm apathetic enough about it to allow it except in my presence and sometimes even then but the way I feel about gender In General extends completely to all other aspects of my life like sure woman are hot in a way that I don't typically feel about men but also I do find butch masculinity wildly attractive when it's done on purpose and I think it's just that I like when people color outside the lines if I'm gonna be a weird queer freak then I'm gonna be a Weird Queer Freak and I've become So About It that I'm like... offended?? when people assume I'm doing something regular and normal?? like it's very very important to me that everyone knows I am doing All This aggressively On Purpose I Know that many things would make me more paletable to Most People but I'm not interested in being more palteable I am interested in finding other weird queer freaks!!!!

anyway all that to say that I sometimes get Quite In My Head about the fact that I am doing this Situationship with a straight man who is simultaneously 1. very comfortable with his gender and sexuality as a straight man 2. wildly attracted to me and 3. not thinking of me as a woman because both of the people IN the situationship are very aware this is all very queer I am aware that it Appears oftentimes to be just yknow regular heterosexuality

which is also why it really grinds my gears when chronically online teenagers and adults who should know better are like "this is the only way to be queer" and get all het up about like dykes fucking fags or whatever like babes you're just reinventing the same boxes the cis heteropatriarchy already wants to put us in. put down the iron bars come outside we're all doing drag and making out in the soft, soft grass under the warm bright sun

[talesfromthenorsesmouth]

played myself and rewatched Arcane and there's still another year to go till series 2

[alexlibbey]

full-body sobbing over these two. like hyperventilating and had to blow my nose crying. bill and frank you beautiful bastards.

The Last of Us (2023)

[luciality]

i miss being hikineet life was less miserable then.

[gayvampyr]

lol? for some reason tumblr won't let me write a post on mobile (I can't even click the pencil button) so I guess I'm chillin on desktop

[risingsunresistance]

wanted to make a fun doodle for pride when i woke up this morning but i left my ipad at the house :V

[fishing-for-blood]

I have not had a functional computer in years, nor have I ever cared for or found vampires particularly compelling for me but. But.

I am genuinely considering dropping a dumb amount of money for a new laptop just so I can play Baldur's Gate 3 for that little shit vampire. His entire character Arc is so. It's just so. It's giving me brain worms. augggh.

[houndfaker]

I love ur humugis art. Keep feeding us starving sapphics

THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH i was not in a satisfgying place with my art when i first played p3 but now that i actually like what i make im able to just pump out all the content sitting in the back of my head sicne 4 years ago. im so glad its enjoyed. i wont be stopping for a long while.

[theinfinitedivides]

i'm sorry that there is no context for this whatsoever at minutes to half past 3 in the morning but am i blind af or did the People tab only now show up under collections on ao3

[allixirr]

i wrote a new chapter for my xiaoven fic, please enjoy!! it's been a whole year but i'm glad i got something done

[autistickaitovocaloid]

no questions I’m afraid. weef bwowew instead

holy shit

[eli-writes-sometimes]

worldbuilding as a revision break is so much fun this is making it all worth it