#to the few people i told about the situation: i'm okay but i might need to rant some more and it might get heavy

[genderqueerdykes]

I’m really nervous to say this but I think I might be a girl, but it’s confusing because I still think I was born male.

Like, I use he/him for myself sometimes. I don’t consider myself even trans, I’m a girl in a boys body or a girl who was raised/born with a penis. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a real Transfem, or like I’m less valid because I still consider myself male to some degree. Or I feel like I’m using transmed language. I know it isn’t true, but the internalized transphobia is real. 😞

(also btw I go by the name Ren, if you could refer to me that way please)

hello there! thanks for taking the time to stop by, we really appreciate it

i totally see where you're coming from. i don't think you have to feel ashamed for thinking/feeling that way right now. i have met so many girls in your situation and it's totally okay to feel that way while you're coming to accept who you are. many transfems are affected by imposter syndrome and i think it's due to the absolutely unrealistic expectations we place on every single transfem. i think it's because of how poorly other people treat you and other transfems

it's really easy to internalize that you're not "really" this or "really" that when other people treat you that way, or you've witnessed that behavior being expressed towards others. it's alright to feel unsure of yourself right now. a lot of trans people start off thinking they're a girl in a boy's body, or a boy in a girl's body. it's alright to not see your body as a girl's body yet. it takes time to accept that. some of my exes have been in the same situation where they still saw their body as a man's body and it's okay. you are a girl in a girl's body, but you've been told otherwise for so long it's okay to take a while to dismantle that

you sound transfem to me, i hope you're able to feel more confident soon as time passes. if possible, it may help you to try to seek out online transfem spaces, i'm part of a few on discord and i see a lot of people being very proactive in helping ease the dysphoria of other transfems. it's so common, you're not alone. some of the most intense dysphoria i've ever seen in a trans person came from the trans girls i've known. and who can blame you? society is so harsh towards trans women

it's okay if you're not perfectly feminine or if you don't fit into any type of box. it's okay if you need time to accept things. and many trans people do end up viewing their lives as "halves". many older trans women i've met have told me about "when they were living as a boy/man" and when they began living as a woman. i've met trans men who say the inverse. it's okay if you feel like you were a boy/man at at one point and are no longer. it's okay to feel like you were born in a boy/man's body and need to transition to make it feel like a girl's body, and your body. however you feel about it, you don't need to feel ashamed of yourself.

you're still a girl, Ren! you're still transfem. imposter syndrome is tough, i hope it eases up for you soon. you don' thave to jump through any hurdles to be transfem- so many transfems out there feel just the same way you do. it's okay

hope that helps, take care for now. please feel free to ask any more questions you may have!

[rapha-reads]

This week's 9-1-1 ("Recover") hit me really hard, in a way that it wouldn't have hit me if not for very precise circumstances.

I'm not gonna get into details, but recent family matters have brought back to the front the fragility and the beauty of life, and both Buck's brush with death and Bobby's recovery path are so very personal and relatable and important to remember. Life is hard, life hurts, but life is also formidable and can offer you so much beauty and happiness. If you let it. If you reach out to others when you feel like you're drowning. If you take the first steps, people who care, the good ones, will be here to grab your hands and walk the rest of the way with you.

Don't let your hurt fester in your mind and your veins like a poison. And don't for a moment think that you being alive is in vain, is a burden, doesn't matter. Whoever you are, the simple fact that you exist is beauty in and of itself, and there are and will be people who love you and want your company. If you don't feel strong enough to keep yourself from hurting yourself (using, self-harm, suicide), please try and remember that there are those who love you and want to live in this world with you. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for them, because it's not just you you're hurting, it's them too. And if you love them, you don't want to hurt them, the same way that if they love you, they don't want to see you hurt.

And if anyone needs to talk, I don't know ho much I can help you, but I've always been told I'm a good listener, so I can do that. I can listen. Message me, DM or ask, anon or not, I'll listen.

[dailymanners]

Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you

For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.

One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.

The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.

Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.

"Are you okay?"

This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.

"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."

This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.

"Can you explain what you mean by that?"

Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.

If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.

[silverwarewolf]

DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS

Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!

GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.

Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).

Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.

That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD

... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)

no comment here I just love them.

I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3

This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)

I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.

Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.

(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)

BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL

1) Yep, they're back to normal.

2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.

3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.

4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!

5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3

I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.

IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?

"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)

I get it, girl.

Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.

(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)

Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"

Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.

(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)

FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.

oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm

I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!

Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.

I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)

... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.

BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)

Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!

[smutstevington]

Resensitized | Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: You need a place to move in, and your new friend has a spare room. Turns out, he's a porn star, and now you can't stop thinking about him. What ever will you do?

Part 2 here and part 3 here :)

Word Count: 7.6K

Warnings: MINORS DNI PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING, smut, Pornstar!Eddie x fem reader (no defining characteristics or use of y/n), modern day, friends to lovers...kind of? Fingering, oral (fem receiving), protected p in v, the knee thing™️, Eddie is a soft dom but also a simp, reader is his exception, and they were roommates(!)

A/N: I'm baaaaack! I was randomly inspired by this concept and couldn't stop thinking about it until it was done. Please know I wrote this with as much respect to sex work as I could, but there might be some inaccuracies just because I'm not too familiar with the industry nowadays. Until next time! xx

-------------------

You met Eddie at a party. He was a friend of a friend’s plus one, so he didn’t really know anybody, and you noticed nobody was talking to him, so you went over there and struck up a conversation.

Eddie was sweet. Eddie was goofy. Eddie was a little rough around the edges, but ultimately gave you good vibes. You ended up talking to him for quite a while, and when the night came to an end, you realized you didn’t want to stop talking to him. 

It wasn’t, like, a crush thing - although, he was handsome and definitely crush material - it was more that it was hard making friends as an adult, and you liked being around him. So many times, you’d met people and left them just as fast, and you didn’t want that to happen with Eddie.

You gave him your Instagram, which he followed, and then you requested to follow him back, which he accepted. 

You didn’t talk much for a month or two. He didn’t really post anything, but would comment or react to your posts and stories. Most often, you complained about your living situation - your landlord and your roommates were awful, and eventually your lease came to an end. You jokingly posted - “who’s gonna help me find a new apartment?”

Eddie replied - I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I might be able to help.

It turned out that Eddie had a room vacant in his two-bedroom apartment. The idea seemed kind of out there at first, but you realized it wasn’t much different than searching for roommates online. Besides, this was safer, since you knew Eddie already, and you couldn’t afford an apartment by yourself, so…

You went over to look at his place, and holy shit. It was incredible there. Clean, although slightly cluttered with his various belongings - movie posters, music, video games, and the like. Also, the rent he was asking for was absurdly low. It felt like a no-brainer.

“Eddie, this is - I mean, this is perfect,” you told him. He grinned. 

“Okay,” he said with a nod. “Uhh, there’s just one thing I feel like I should tell you before you move in.”

“What is it?” you asked. Suddenly, you saw Eddie get nervous, and you couldn’t possibly predict what would warrant that reaction. He took a deep breath. 

“Maybe you already know, but it feels like you don’t know? So I just - ugh. If you don’t know, I think I gotta tell you.” You stared at him, confused.

“Eddie, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

He smirked slightly, then sighed as his hands fell to his sides.

“I…do…porn?” he said at last. You stared at him blankly as you processed this.

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate,” you replied. “Like OnlyFans?”

“Sometimes,” he answered. “Look, I - I’ve done it for a few years, and I guess I’m kinda popular. It’s why a lot of the time, people stay away from me, because it puts them off. Or, they’re embarrassed about recognizing me, which I guess I understand. But anyway, that’s why I was surprised you never said anything or asked me about it. Judging by your reaction, I’m guessing you had no idea.” 

Huh.

“I…really didn’t.” 

It wasn’t that you were judging him - not at all - but living with someone who did that sort of thing brought up all kinds of questions. Eddie’s anxiety returned. 

“Ah, shit. That ruined everything, didn’t it?” He ran his hands through his hair. “I just - It’s how I make money, but it’s not my whole life or anything. But I felt like you should at least know about it if you were gonna live with me.”

“Do you do any of it here?” you asked. Eddie shrugged.

“Sometimes.”

You nodded slowly.

“Like, in the living room or just your room?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to assess how you felt through your line of questioning.

“Uhh - my room. I mean, I guess there was one time on the couch, but for the record I’ve gotten a new couch since then. Oh, and if you move in and don’t want me filming anything here, I won’t. Not even solo stuff. Shit. Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, I just have a pretty casual view on sex and I kind of forget that not everybody -”

“I think I’m okay with this,” you decided. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You looked around the beautiful apartment that would save you a crap ton of money, and you realized you couldn't pass this up. Besides, you weren’t a prude. “My last roommates had loud sex all the time, and our walls were so thin it felt like I was intruding, somehow.” Eddie laughed, his anxiety easing slightly. “Plus, I don’t care what you do. I bet it’s good money. As long as I’m not in any of the videos, we’re good to go.”

“Wow,” he responded, stunned. “I honestly didn’t expect you to be so cool about it.” You shrugged.

“Just don’t eat my food and we should be fine,” you concluded. 

“Deal,” he replied. You shook his hand, and thus began your time as Eddie Munson’s roommate.

-

Ohhhh, this was a mistake.

Living with Eddie was a total breeze for the first two months. He was respectful and didn’t talk about work at all unless you asked him about it, which you didn’t. You both were pretty busy people so you didn’t even see each other that often. 

But then, two months in, you got curious and watched one of his videos.

Holy. Shit.

First of all, you couldn’t believe you’d never stumbled across him before in your searches, because he was, like, really popular. He’d undersold himself, for sure. Although, you didn’t watch porn that often (you preferred reading it or listening to it), because usually there was something off about it. Like, the women felt like they were acting, or they weren’t even trying to hide that they were acting and were really bad at it, or the dirty talk was weird, etc etc. 

Eddie’s videos were not like that. 

(Yeah, after the first one you watched a few more).

Look, the man knew what he was doing. He had chemistry with everyone, and something about it was captivating. It’s not like you were getting off to them - that would have been weird - but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you the fuck on.

He hadn’t been lying either about the locations. None of the videos you’d watched were recorded at the apartment. 

You weren’t sure if you would have cared if they had been, though. Like, as long as any shared furniture was cleaned after, it wasn’t a huge deal, right? Pretty much every couch anywhere you go has been used for sex at some point. So, this wasn’t much different.

Anyway, watching Eddie’s videos had been a mistake, because now when you saw him in the morning, pouring himself a cup of coffee in his robe, you knew what he looked like naked.

Fuck.

“Morning,” he said casually. “Want some?” You nodded, and then he took another mug from the cupboard and poured coffee into it for you. When you went to the kitchen counter to grab it from him, his knuckles brushed yours, and you jumped a little at the touch. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. You went to the fridge and took the creamer from the shelf, then topped off your coffee with it. 

“How’d you sleep?” you asked. 

“Good,” he replied. “Oh, so I’m going to the grocery store in a bit. You need anything?” You took a sip of your coffee before answering. 

“Uhhh, yeah, but I was actually planning on going myself,” you said. 

“We could go together,” he suggested.

You took another sip of coffee as a way to stall, even though it was too hot. You had no reason from his perspective to say no - the two of you had gone on errands together a few times, and it had been fine. Besides, you legitimately had to go to the grocery store, so if you said no and went later it would just look suspicious.

”Sounds good,” you agreed with a smile. He smiled back, then nodded. 

“Great, just let me know when you’re ready.”

You finished your coffee in your room, because being around him was making you nervous. It was so dumb, feeling this way. Nothing had changed. You were the same people you’d been yesterday. Watching that video was an incredibly poor choice, but at the same time, how were you supposed to refrain? You lived with a guy who was famous for getting women off. You wondered how you hadn’t known any of this when you’d first met him, but then pieces came together. The reason he was alone at the party. Why his Instagram was private. Why he didn’t have a roommate. 

When you agreed to move in, you promised yourself you wouldn’t be weird about it, and now here you were, hiding in your room because you were too awkward to maintain small talk with your roommate. 

Eventually, you got dressed and psyched yourself up for what was to come. You just had to get those videos out of your mind, that’s all. 

Easy enough, right?

Wrong!

“Did you listen to the song I sent you yesterday?” he asked as you walked to the car.

“Uh, no, not yet,” you replied. He clutched his heart as if you had broken it, then laughed.

“Okay, well then I guess I know what we’re listening to on the way.”

Once again, all of this should have been easy like it always was. But you couldn’t stop staring at his hands on the steering wheel, the rings on his fingers, and - God forbid - his lips. And his eyes? Forget it. 

“Good song,” you said, staring straight ahead at the road.

“Of course it is, I picked it out,” he teased. You saw him glance at you in your peripheral vision. “Everything okay? You’re quiet today.”

“Everything’s fine,” you blurted out, maybe too quickly to be convincing. 

“Ooookay,” he responded. “Well, I don’t believe you, but you can keep your secrets.”

You remained slightly awkward and flustered around him, particularly any time he touched you. He’d tap you on the shoulder to get your attention, or reach across you to grab a bunch of bananas that you were standing in front of, and it came to a point where you told him you had to go off on your own to grab something just because you knew you were totally giving yourself away. But after a few more minutes to yourself in the chips aisle, you felt relatively normal again. 

Disaster only really struck on the way home. 

“So, this tattoo place on the right,” he said. “That’s where I usually go. The guy who works there is incredible. His designs are sick as hell.”

“How many do you have?” you asked. He scrunched his eyebrows as he thought about it.

“I guess it depends on what you’d count as one,” he replied. “Like, I have almost a half-sleeve on my right arm, but I didn’t get it all done at once.”

“Count them however you’d like.” He thought about it some more, then shrugged. 

“I have a lot of them, and I always want more.” 

“I’ve heard it’s addictive,” you replied. “So, what would you get next?”

“I’m thinking about adding to the one on my thigh,” he answered. 

“The witch?” you asked. He raised his eyebrows. The tattoo on his thigh was pretty iconic, actually. It was a woman on a broomstick with her tits out. Not something you would ever personally get, but Eddie pulled it off. “Are you going to give her a friend? Or a bra?”

Eddie snorted laughing, then covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle it. It didn’t work, and he burst into laughter again.

“Come on, my joke wasn’t that funny,” you said, rolling your eyes. Eddie’s laughter finally faded enough for him to explain. 

“I never told you what the tattoo was,” he informed you. Your eyes widened as you realized your mistake.

“I - um -”

“That’s what’s going on! You looked me up!” he exclaimed. Despite your absolute humiliation, he seemed to only find it amusing. “Don’t get all shy about it. It’s fine. I’m honestly impressed you held out this long.”

“Can we not talk about it?” you asked, trying to awkwardly laugh with him but mostly wishing you were six feet underground. 

“Whatever you want, roomie,” he replied with a grin. “I’m just glad I didn’t do anything wrong.” You bit your lip, then released it.

“No, you did pretty much everything exactly right,” you responded, deciding to lean into the awkward situation. Eddie licked his lips and smirked. 

“Good to hear,” he said, smug. He pulled into your apartment complex, parked the car, and took the keys from the ignition. You felt like you couldn’t breathe in there, so you rushed out of the car and made a beeline for your front door as soon as you were able. He caught up as you worked the lock open, and you could feel his eyes on your shaking hands. “You know, you’re cute when you blush,” he said.

The door unlocked and you pushed it open, but it’s not like the apartment you shared with him was going to be any less charged. You tried to continue acting less nervous than you were. 

“Oh, you’re flirting with me now?” you teased, leaving your keys on the counter. His voice continued behind you.

“I flirt with everyone,” he said. “Sorry, I’ll reel it in. Just, we were talking about -”

“No, I know,” you interrupted. You turned around, deciding to face this situation head on, since you were already knee-deep in it anyway. “Okay, let’s talk about it.” He raised his eyebrows at you.

“About what I do?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright. What do you wanna know?”

You took a deep breath and asked something that you’d been wondering for the last two months.

“Is it weird, knowing that most people you know have seen you naked?” 

Eddie didn’t seem fazed by the question in the slightest - not that you expected him to be. He shrugged.

“I like the way I look,” he replied. “It actually doesn’t bother me at all.” You clicked your tongue to your teeth and asked another question.

“Does anything about it bother you?” To your surprise, he took the question seriously, taking his time as he came up with a response.

“It definitely feels like I live in a different world a lot of the time,” he answered. “Like, I go to work, I meet the person I’m supposed to fuck, and then I do whatever I gotta do to get them off. That’s all it is, really. After a while, it just feels like going through the motions. The excitement isn’t really there anymore. On the other hand, I make a shit ton of money to have sex with beautiful people, so…”

You tried to ignore the way the heat rose to your cheeks as he talked about work. From what you’d seen, it was clear that not one person had faked their enjoyment for him. Of course, it made you a little curious what it would be like, but not curious enough to do anything about it.

At least, not yet.

“You’ve never, like, caught feelings?” you asked. “Or maybe gotten coffee with one of them? Wait, do you ever have sex off camera?”

“Wooow, you’ve really been thinking about this, huh?” he teased, jumping up to sit on the counter beside you. Being next to him was starting to feel comfortable again, now that you were speaking freely. “Uhh, well for starters, I don’t have sex off-camera very often, honestly. My job doesn’t make it that easy to date. And yeah, I’ve met up with partners after if I feel like we’d get along, but I don’t know. It always feels more like friendship than anything else.” You cocked your head curiously.

“But you had sex with them,” you pointed out, confused.

“You’ve never fucked one of your friends before?” he asked. You shook your head. “Oh. Well, like I said, my perception of this kind of thing is a little skewed.”

You nodded slowly, then realized those were all of your main questions. Talking about it actually did make things a whole lot better. 

“Thank you for being so open about it,” you told him.

“Thank you for sticking around,” he replied. “And seriously, you can ask me anything. Or, we can never talk about it again. Up to you.”

“Thanks,” you said with a smile. “I’ll let you know.”

He went off to do his thing and you did yours, and that was that. Things went back to normal again, more or less - at least for another week. 

The problem was, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. When you were trying to sleep at night, your curiosity coursed through you to search his name again, and it became increasingly difficult not to succumb to it. You didn’t want to cross that line, though. It felt like a necessary boundary to have. 

Instead, you did what you usually did. You read, you listened, you pictured things in your head.

Your mind always wandered to your roommate anyway. 

One night, Eddie had left, and he was supposed to be gone until morning. You used it as an opportunity to walk around naked, watch romantic comedies on the couch, and listen to music he’d hate as loudly as you wanted. It was glorious. 

You were in your room dancing in a t-shirt and underwear, and it was turning out to be an excellent night. Eventually, your friend called, so you chatted with her for a bit on speaker phone as you put away your laundry. Naturally, Eddie came up. 

“Okay,” she said. “There’s a really simple solution here, and it’s to fuck your hot Sex-God of a roommate.” You rolled your eyes.

“That’s not simple, and it’s not a solution,” you replied. “And our relationship isn’t like that. I can’t believe you looked him up.”

“Of course I looked him up! One of us had to!” your friend shouted back. “And, can I just say - damn.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you responded with a sigh. “I’m just trying to be…respectful.”

“It sounds like he doesn’t care at all,” your friend noted. “But I get it, I guess. You’re a lot stronger than I’ll ever be.” You laughed.

“Thank you, I think I deserve a medal for going through this while also not having had sex in six months.”

“Absolutely,” your friend agreed. “Alright, girlie, I’m headed to bed. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You hung up the phone and hung a few sweaters up in your closet, then walked into the kitchen to grab yourself a drink. The problem was, when you got there, you realized that Eddie had beat you to it.

“Want something?” he asked, bent over into the fridge.

“Fuck!” you yelled, jumping back. “What are you -? Why are you - ? When did you -?” Eddie laughed and grabbed two beers from the fridge, then closed the door and handed you one. 

“Relax,” he said. “My plans fell through so I came home early. I like your pants, by the way.” You looked down at yourself to realize you weren’t wearing any. You chuckled, then pushed him away from you.

“Dick,” you said, cracking the can open. He did the same, and then you clinked your beers together before each taking a sip. “Thank god I’m wearing some clothes. I wasn’t a few hours ago.” 

“That’s hot,” he teased. 

“Shut up.” You turned to go back to your room so you could put real pajamas on, and were confused when he followed you in. 

“Your friend has a point by the way,” Eddie said. You froze in your tracks, then pivoted to face him.

“What?” you asked, your stomach dropping to the floor. “Wait, how much of that conversation did you hear?”

“Uhhh, well I definitely heard that whole last part about me,” he replied. “Six months, by the way? I agree, you do deserve an award for that.” 

Jesus Christ.

“Oh my God I have to move out,” you said. Eddie laughed, then pulled you closer to him by the wrist. You felt your breath hitch at being so close to him. Your eyes met his, and you immediately felt hypnotized. 

“Listen,” he said, his grip on your wrist burning into your skin. “Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but six months is a long time, and I could help out if you wanted.”

“Eddie, are you seriously suggesting…?” The corner of his lip twitched up slightly.

“It wouldn’t mean anything, obviously. I just know you’re curious, and since you’re going through a dry spell or whatever I could be of service. And then it would be out of the way, and you could move on.”

You stared at him, having a million thoughts at once.

Yes, you wanted that very much. The thought of it alone was already making your core ache and throb for him. You knew he would blow your mind, and it had been so long…

Then again, you also knew it was a horrible idea. You both lived together, and having sex would complicate things. Most of all, you knew that - despite what he was saying - it would mean something, and you wouldn’t move on. He could, but you couldn’t. That’s not how it worked for you.

“I can’t,” you said. He nodded and dropped your hand.

“Alright,” he replied casually. “Then you should go fuck someone else so you stop thinking about me.”

“I’m not thinking about -”

“Good night,” he smirked.

He left your room, and you heard him walk to his own room and shut the door. 

He was probably right. You needed to break your dry spell. So, you did what any sensible person would do and re-downloaded Tinder. By the following night, you’d found a suitable guy to hook up with.

You invited him to your apartment instead of going to his, because it felt safer. And Eddie unshockingly had no problems with it, so that wasn’t an issue. He said he was going to stay in his room and listen to music, and to just text him when you were done. 

So…you did that. 

The sex was bad. Like, remarkably bad. The man clearly had relied on his good looks and big dick and felt like that was enough. The worst part was that he thought he was nailing it the whole time. He was only over for about 45 minutes total, after which you told him you had to get to bed. He seemed disappointed, but also he’d just had sex so he wasn’t too bummed about it. 

You texted Eddie, and within a few minutes you heard his door open and his footsteps approaching your room from down the hall. 

“Damn, he’s gone already?” he teased, staring out the window to see your Tinder hook-up driving away. “That’s a shame. I wanted to meet the man that caused you to do the worst fake orgasm sounds I’ve ever heard.” 

“Eddie!” you yelled, wrapping your robe tighter around yourself. “You said you wouldn’t listen!” 

“I got curious! Sue me!” he shouted back. “Now we’re even. Curiosity got the best of both of us.”

You stared at him for a moment, then realized he was right. You sighed.

“Fine,” you said. “Thanks for recommending I do that, by the way. Now my body count is higher and my dignity is shattered.” Eddie laughed.

“Body counts are bullshit anyway,” he replied. “Sorry he couldn’t get you there.”

“Guys usually can’t,” you told him. Which was true - you mainly could only come using toys, and most guys seemed intimidated at the idea of using them. Like it was emasculating or something.

“I bet I could,” Eddie said with a smirk.

“I bet you could, too,” you agreed. “I’m gonna go shower.”

“Have fun,” he teased. You rolled your eyes and made your way to the bathroom. 

Showering did clear your mind a bit, but made you no less sexually frustrated. You tried to touch yourself, but weren’t getting anywhere, so you just got yourself clean instead. You put a fresh pair of underwear on and wrapped your robe around yourself, then headed back to your room. 

Eddie was right beside your door - leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He eyed you up and down, then took a step towards you.

“I have a question,” he said. 

“Um, okay.”

“Have you ever gotten off to my videos?” 

He asked it so casually, you needed a minute to even comprehend what he was saying, and even longer to realize he wasn’t kidding.

“Eddie, what the hell?” you replied. You tried to maintain your composure, but your attempts were futile. Especially when he looked at you like that. 

“I’ve just been wondering,” he continued. “Curiosity, that’s all.” You swallowed. 

“Not to any of your videos,” you answered. 

“To the thought of me?”

Yes. Not intentionally, but yes.

Your breathing became shaky, his words enough to get you worked up again.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice soft. 

“I’m helping you out,” he responded. “Salvaging your night.” He hooked his finger into the tie around your waist, then tugged you even closer to him. “I mean, if you want me to. The offer is there.”

Fuck it. You were tired of fighting your attraction to him. You nodded. 

“Okay,” you said. “Let’s just get it over with.” He smiled. “How do we start? Should I lie down? Is there anything off limits? What do I-”

“Don’t think about it,” he said, answering your line of questioning by silencing you. “Get on the bed.” He let go of you so you could walk into your room and follow his orders. You watched him rub his hands together and crack his knuckles as if he was getting ready to go to work - which made sense, all things considered. Then, he followed your footsteps to your bed and made his way towards you until he was settled beside you.

His hand trailed up your body until it settled in your hair. He gripped it tightly so he could angle your head to the side, then leaned over and pressed light kisses to your neck that sent shivers down your spine. 

“Do you like things on the gentle side or more rough?” he asked against your skin. 

“Healthy mix of both,” you answered. He hummed in approval, then licked a stripe up your neck until his lips were to your ear. 

“Talk to me during, okay?” he said. “Tell me what you want.”

Okay, this was officially worth it no matter the consequences.

“I like what you’re doing,” you responded. You felt his mouth return to where it had been before, except this time he found a sensitive spot and sucked on it. You gasped, so he did it again, harder. 

“Hickies?” he asked. 

“I’d rather not have them, but also please don’t stop,” you muttered. Your eyes fluttered closed as you enjoyed the sensations. His lips were soft but firm, and every point of contact with him felt like it was on fire.

“I can work with that.” 

While he continued kissing and nipping at your neck, his hand left your hair to snake down and pull the tie on your robe until it was undone. 

You expected him to take your robe off like he was unwrapping a gift - quickly and without precision - but instead he took his time with you. He was slow and deliberate with every action, opening you beneath him little by little and addressing each new exposed part of you before moving on and continuing. He groped at one of your breasts while kissing you, then kissed down your neck and to your other breast. His lips settled on your left nipple while his fingers worked the right one - pinching, sucking, biting, driving you absolutely crazy. 

“Fuck,” you moaned. “N-need more.” He released your nipple from his mouth with a pop.

“More what?”

“Everything,” you whined. You would have been embarrassed by how into this you were, but you were too busy enjoying to feel anything other than pleasure. “More. Harder.”

“Mmm,” he said. He adjusted his technique, now grasping at you more intensely. He grabbed the soft skin at your waist and squeezed, then curled around to cradle your lower back. His lips returned to your neck, and this time he bit and sucked so hard you let out a yelp.

“Too much?” he asked, leaning back to gauge the look on your face.

“No,” you responded. “I love it.” He nodded and got back to it, continuing to suck at your pulse point while his knee dipped between your thighs to push them apart. He bent his leg to slowly drag his knee up until it reached your center. It rubbed against you, hard, causing you to let out a gasp.

“Oh, shit,” you said, your voice desperate. “Do that again.” So he did, and then you found yourself grinding against his knee at your own pace. You were definitely going to leave a wet spot on his jeans, but he didn’t seem to care. Your breathing picked up, and you clutched at his hand so you could lead it to the band of your panties. He slid his fingers beneath the fabric and down your slit, spreading you open and exploring the parts of you most slick with desire. He circled your clit while he kissed your collarbone, slipped one finger inside you as he bit at your breast, then added a second finger and rolled them inside you until they found the soft, spongy spot that caused your eyes to roll back in your head. His mouth latched onto your nipple, tongue circling it in time with his thumb down below. You rocked your hips against his hand, needing more pressure. You needed him to fuck you, actually, but he seemed to be in no rush of doing so. 

Your stomach tightened as you felt yourself rising for him. He was going to make you come already, when he hadn’t even been touching you for that long. 

Suddenly, you were cresting over the edge. It happened so fast you didn’t have time to prepare or warn Eddie, although he seemed to know it was happening before you did. 

You gasped and moaned and cried out his name, your vision completely blacked out. Your hips continued to buck and your legs started shaking. Eventually, the waves crashed and you were centered in your body again. 

“Okay, wow,” you said breathlessly. 

“That was too easy,” he responded. You scoffed. 

“Yeah, yeah, you win,” you replied. “You’re just as amazing in bed as you look like you would be-”

“No,” he continued. “I mean - that was too easy, and I like a challenge, so I’m gonna see how many times I can make you do that.”

Within seconds, he was making his way down your body, pulling your underwear off of you, grabbing your ankles, and tugging your body towards him. He laid your legs on either side of his shoulders and dove his head between your thighs, kissing the spot that was still extremely sensitive. It was overstimulating, but felt so good you wouldn’t dare ask him to stop. He ate you out like he was poisoned and you were the antidote. He plunged his tongue into your hole as his hands spread you apart as far as you’d go. He kissed back up to your clit and settled there, teeth latching around it gently. Then, his fingers slid back inside you, and he continued to suck on you, and somehow you were already going to come again. One of your hands found purchase in his hair, and you pulled his head against you even more. The other hand clutched the sheets beside you desperately, crumpling them into a fist as you unraveled against his mouth. 

You hadn’t even realized how tightly your thighs were clenching around his head until you released him, but he didn’t move from where he’d been. He continued finger-fucking you and flicking his tongue side to side against your clit all the way through your orgasm and beyond. There was no recovery period or moment of relaxation. It hurt to have him there, a little bit, but not in a bad way. He bit at the fleshy part of your thigh so he had a second to catch his breath, but kept kissing you everywhere he had access and treating your body like it was his most precious belonging. 

Because in that moment, you did belong to him. 

Your third orgasm immediately followed the second. It was like he was destroying you - breaking down every wall you’d ever put up leaving you an absolute mess underneath him. His motions slowed, ever in tune with your body. It was like he could read your mind. 

“Holy shit,” you whispered. He sat up straight and removed his fingers from you, immediately putting them in his mouth to suck them clean. “You’re really good at that.” He grinned, his mouth and chin shining. 

“It’s my favorite part,” he replied. “Are you tapping out?”

“No, I -” Your head was spinning, but you absolutely did not want this to stop. “I just need a minute.” He chuckled, wiped his mouth, then pressed a quick kiss to your ankle. He moved your legs off him and back onto the bed, and then he laid down beside you and joined you in staring at the ceiling. 

“So,” he said, his hands clasped on his stomach. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” you replied. Your gaze traveled down his stomach to the very noticeable bulge in his jeans. “So, oral really does it for you, huh?” Eddie turned to see your eyes fixed on his crotch. He exhaled sharply - the start of a laugh - then nodded. 

“Yeah. I’m good at it and I like it. But, I don’t know whether I’m good at it because I like it or if I like it because I’m good at it.”

“A real chicken versus egg kind of thing,” you said. He laughed. 

“Exactly.” 

“What else do you like?” you asked. 

“Hmm?” He seemed genuinely confused by the question.

“I mean, what else do you like? Not considering your partner’s pleasure, just your own.” He narrowed his eyes.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because we’re about to have sex,” you replied.

“Are we?” he teased. You rolled your eyes.

“Answer me,” you told him. “I want it to be good for you, too.”

“But that wasn’t the deal,” he countered, sitting up. “I’m doing this for you, not me.”

“Why can’t it be both?” He still looked at you as if you weren’t making any sense at all. “Eddie, come on. Just tell me what you like. You’ve never been shy about sex stuff in the past, clearly -”

“I like being bit,” he answered quickly. “Especially on the neck and lips. And, like, the crook of my elbow for some reason?” You nodded, urging him to continue. He sighed, then laid back down beside you. “I like the idea of someone using me just to get off - degradation, treating me like I’m nothing, all that jazz.”

“The idea of it?” you repeated, turning on your side to face him. “You’ve never tried it?”

“Not really,” he responded. “I’m kinda known for the soft-dom thing I have going on, so that’s usually what I end up doing.” 

“Hmm.” You thought about his answer in the silence that followed, until he spoke again.

“You know what’s weird?”

“What?”

“Nobody’s really asked me that before.”

You looked at him, completely baffled at the situation. This poor man had only focused on his partners this whole time. No wonder he’d grown jaded to it.

“It’s been a minute,” you said. “I think I’m ready to keep going.”

“Yeah, okay.”

You could visibly see him shift back into work-mode. His eyes lit up and focused in on you again, and his hands went to his belt buckle to unfasten it. You sat up and kneeled on the bed, then helped him take his pants and boxers off and tossed them to the floor. You shimmied your robe off your shoulders and let that fall to the floor as well. He sat up in the bed with his back to the headboard so he could take his shirt off, and now you were both completely naked.

Woah.

You stared at his body, mesmerized by all the ink in his skin. You traced a finger delicately over the tattoos on his chest, shoulders, and forearms. He watched you appreciatively, a soft smile on his face, his expression peaceful. You reached over to your bedside table drawer and grabbed a condom from the box you kept there.

Then, you straddled him. 

“Hey, wait -” he said. “Look, I know what you wanna do for me, but it’s probably not gonna happen. Like, I don’t usually come from sex unless I help myself out.”

You kind of saw that in one of the videos. He’d been going with this one woman for like a half hour straight and nothing.

“I want to try,” you told him. He still didn’t look convinced. “Come on, you think only porn stars are good in bed?”

“I just don’t want you to feel bad if -”

You leaned in and kissed him, hungrily, your hands tangling in his hair. Yeah, he’d taken care of you, but you were far from satiated. You wanted him badly, and you wanted to make him feel just as good as he’d made you feel.

You could still taste yourself on his swollen lips, and that’s when you realized the two of you had never actually kissed before. You broke from him, concerned that you’d crossed a line.

“Sorry, I should have asked if kissing is okay first -”

He was kissing you again before you could even get your sentence out. His arms went around your waist, hugging you tightly until your chest was against his. You tugged on his hair, hard, and felt him smirk against your lips. 

He was growing impossibly hard beneath you, which only encouraged you to keep going.

You clawed against his back and his mouth opened up for you. You used this as an opportunity to suck his bottom lip into your mouth before biting it. 

He whimpered, which was just about the hottest sound you’d ever heard.

Your mouth traveled down his jaw and to his neck, where you gave him the same treatment he’d given you.

“Careful,” he managed to say (though his voice was weak). “I can’t be marked up for work.” You nodded, then grazed your teeth across his skin. He gasped, the grip of his hands tightening on your waist. You kissed him and bit him and sucked him on both sides of his neck, leaving no spot behind and making sure you didn’t stay in one place for too long. Eventually, you felt yourself craving him again - this time, you wanted all of him. 

Your hips rocked against his erection, and you knew it was game over the moment his bare cock slid up your folds. You moaned, then reached for the condom beside you so he could put it on. You shifted yourself a bit further down on his lap as he rolled it down his length, and then your eyes caught the tattoo on his thigh that started this whole thing - the witch, in all her glory.

“She’s looking right at it,” you said, your eyes fixed to the design. Eddie huffed out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah, uhh -” he began, flustered. “It’s her - shit, okay - it’s supposed to be a joke where she’s looking at my dick because my dick is a magic wand, but that’s dorky as shit so usually when people ask I just joke that it’s because she’s a voyeur.” You smiled, then shook your head. 

“So, why tell me the truth then?” you asked. “What makes me different?” You looked at his blown out pupils, deep brown and infinite, and wondered why you’d spent so much time trying not to look into them. Maybe because now that you’d done it, you weren’t sure you could ever stop.

“I don’t know,” Eddie answered. “I don’t know why you’re different.” 

You maintained eye contact as you lifted yourself up and lined his cock with your entrance, and then you slowly let him sink into you. 

Oh.

The immediate stretch was incredible. Eddie was well-endowed and thick, and it was going to take a little work to fit him completely inside you. You started slowly, lifting yourself up and down - all the while, your eyes stayed fixed to his. 

His hand snaked between you to rub your clit slowly, getting you wetter and allowing you to accommodate his size better. You moaned loudly, unable to stop yourself, then began bouncing at a faster pace. 

You kissed his forehead, the sweat on his brow leaving your lips slightly salty. Then, you kissed the spot right next to his eyes, his cheek, his jaw, before finally reaching his lips again. 

Hungry. That was the best word to describe it. It felt like the two of you had each never wanted anything more in your lives as much as you wanted each other. He bottomed out inside you, and you began to lift yourself up and crash back down, slowly, but with force. 

“Faster,” he muttered. “Please, faster.” His voice was breathy and weak. A part of you wanted to tease him more - you wanted to drive him crazy and then watch him explode, just as he’d done to you. But the other part of you wanted exactly what he wanted, so you obliged. 

You started to ride him faster, rolling your hips in such a way where he was hitting the spot inside you that made you scream his name and pull his hair without abandon. He continued to work your clit until - somehow - you felt yourself building up to yet another orgasm. 

“Fuck,” you whined, continuing to fuck him exactly as you’d been doing. “I’m gonna come again.”

He whimpered your name, and then his words became incomprehensible. But you wouldn’t have been able to hear them anyway, because pretty soon you were coming so hard you were transported through space and time. Seriously, the feeling was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. He was taking up all the space in your body and your mind. 

“You’re so good, Eddie,” you said. Your words were muffled against his mouth, but you knew he understood them. “So fucking good.”

Your motions slowed down, and you started to make your way back to the room. He was staring at you, his eyes no longer piercing. They were soft and vulnerable instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t -”

“That one was for me,” you interrupted. “This next one's for you.”

“What-?”

Your lips crashed into his again. You’d gotten your fill - more than your fill, actually - and now you just had one goal. 

Make Eddie Munson come. 

Easy enough, you figured. He’d given you more than enough clues to tell you how. With his dick still deep inside you, you kissed down his neck to his shoulder, then lifted his arm so you could make your way to the crook of his elbow. You sucked at the tender, sensitive skin. His eyes widened.

“Oh, fuck,” he said. You smirked, then dropped his arm and promptly fucked him as fast and rough as you possibly could. 

Eddie threw his head back in ecstasy, groaning and grunting and continuing to talk under his breath - only this time you were able to understand some of it. 

“Holy fucking shit…Jesus Christ…Just like that…”

Most of it was curse words. 

His fingers dug into your ass as he guided your hips exactly the way he needed them to go, and then all of a sudden he was twitching beneath you, his hands flexing, his jaw dropped. He desperately pressed open-mouthed kisses against your collarbone and breasts, holding you flush to him as you milked him for all he was worth. 

His breathing slowed, his face still buried in your tits. Finally, he leaned back so he could look up at you. You smiled and waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just kissed you instead - this time lightly and without urgency behind it. 

You let him slip out of you, then collapsed beside him, completely blissed out. He stayed seated and upright, although he did take the condom off and dropped it in the trash next to the bed. His eyes had turned pensive, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“Everything okay?” you asked. 

“No,” he replied, staring straight ahead.

“What’s wrong?” He shrugged. 

“I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I felt like that.” You cocked your head in confusion.

“And that’s a problem?” you wondered. You maybe would have freaked out had you not just had four orgasms - Instead, you were just concerned.

“I don’t know.”

His head turned until you could see his expression fully, and you noticed there was a hint of a smile on his face. 

“Um, is there anything I can do to help?” you asked. 

“Yeah.” He grabbed your hand and took a deep breath. “You wanna go on a date with me?”

(Part 2)

-------------------

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[mclarensangel]

Our Girl

Warnings: body shaming, panic attack, insecurity, idiots in love, kissing, flirty comments, couple being obsessed with each other. if there is anything I missed, please let me know!

word count: 3.8k before images

You were in one of the hottest countries in the world with Lando. Abu Dhabi was gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. But boy was it hot. You had tried to pack clothes that would be good for the weather, but you didn’t want clothes that made you shapeless. Being friends with Lando meant that you would likely be on camera at least once, especially with the boy having the energy of a 5-year-old and being best friends with anyone and everyone on the grid. And so, with Lando being so well loved, you knew that if you were seen with him, then people would notice the big girl standing in the back constantly. Your outfit had to be perfect, at least to you. In your head, if your outfit had to be perfect to try and reduce the fallout that would no doubt come for you on Twitter. 

You loved Lando, probably more than you should, not that you would tell him. But the women that he had been seen with, were gorgeous. You keep telling yourself that you're gorgeous too but these were model-worthy women, and that, as you had been told many times, were not. So this outfit had to be perfect. It had to be perfect for him, for you, for all the women that looked like you. 

So this is how you ended up standing in a room with Lando’s baggage as well as your own, anxiety filling you after you had been told at reception that there was only one room left. And to make things worse? It only had one bed. This hadn’t been a problem before, having known him since you were 5, you had shared a bed plenty of times, but now? Now you were head over heels in love with the curly-haired man. And you had to pretend that you weren't. But that wasn’t your biggest problem right now. Right now, your biggest problem was getting ready and getting to the grid on time, you could tell Lando about the bed situation later. And anyway, there was a sofa, you could try and cover yourself up with the end blanket off of the bed, on the sofa. Lando would need the bed anyway, he has the biggest job to do here. And so to sum it all up, all of these reasons are what led you to stand in front of the mirror in the bedroom, nearly in tears as you looked at your reflection. You didn’t hate your body, in fact, you were your biggest fan, but the anxiety of everything was eating you up from the inside out. Every piece of fabric felt like it was clinging to your body. You have to take a deep breath you keep telling yourself. 

Your phone ringing from the desk nearby pulled you from your anxiety-ridden trance. Picking up your phone you see Lando’s contact lighting up your phone screen. The image itself makes you laugh. The man had made it as a surprise to make you laugh when you were having a bad day a few weeks ago even though it had some pictures in it that he hated. And he wouldn’t tell you, but he would use the worst images of him in the universe again if it made you smile the way it did again. 

Although the picture made you smile, the anxiety still bubbling within you made your thumb hesitate over the reject button before pressing the accept button. 

L: Hello?

       Y/N: Lando? What’s up? Is everything okay? Are you h-?

          L: I’m okay, breath, I'm okay. I just wanted to ask what room I’m in.

Fuck. 

     Y/N: Uh, about that… 

The line stayed quiet as Lando waited for you to continue, and realising that you weren’t, he tried to push you for your answer as gently as possible 

       L: yeah?

  Y/N: Sotheysortofmessedupandtheresonlyonehotelroombetweenthetwoofusanditonlyhasonebed.

     L: What? Remember what I said about breathing? Take a breath and then tell me, again. Okay? 

Taking what might have been the biggest breath of your life you repeat yourself

Y/N: They messed up the rooms

   L: okay?

Y/N: And there’s only one hotel room between the two of us

   L: right…

Y/N: it only has one bed 

   L: Darlin’ I'm not seeing the problem here, we’ve shared a bed before. What room are we in?

Y/N: 410

   L: Okay, I’ll see you in a minute okay

Y/N: Okay. 

You both hang up the one at the same time, something that has come with being friends for such a long time. With a shaky breath, you throw your phone back onto the desk before making your way to hide in the bathroom knowing that Lando would want to know why you’re so anxious about sharing a bed all of a sudden. You catch yourself in the mirror again, and somehow you hate how you look even more than in the lights of the bedroom. Your hands feel cold all of a sudden, and that’s when you look down at them to realise that your hands are gripping the marble counter. The coldness of the counter does nothing to help calm down the feeling of anxiety that is threatening to bubble over. Tears begin to cloud your vision, building up over your vision, leaving everything blurry. You couldn’t help but feel that everything about your outfit was wrong. The corset is too tight, the skirt too long, the shoes too high, and your hair too tight. You had wanted to surprise Lando with your outfit. Hoping that maybe it might change the way he looks at you. But the more you look at yourself in the mirror the more you doubt it. Your brain reminds you of his friends, his ex-girlfriends, hell even his colleagues. 

Trying to loosen the ribbon at the back of your corset, you felt like the room was closing in around you. The gesture of having an old McLaren t-shirt of his turned into a corset, his name and number being the main focus of it. You had tried to pair it with a silk black skirt. You wanted to try and match the skirt to the rest of the outfit by wearing some flatform sandals with a silver buckle. Around your neck, you were trying to put on a silver necklace with the initial ‘L’ hanging down from the chain. Your hair was pulled back from around your face and pulled into an elegant silver claw clip. From your ears was a pair of simple diamond studs that had a climber attached to it, that Lando had brought you for your birthday after he signed his first contract with McLaren. And finally, you had some simple silver bracelets, an orange beaded bracelet with LN in heart-shaped beads, and some simple silver diamond rings that your parents had gifted you for your 21st birthday. When you had planned the outfit, it all felt perfect, but now it felt oh so wrong. Too in your head about everything, you hadn’t noticed Lando enter the hotel room, let alone the bathroom. It wasn't till you felt his warm arms surround you that you even noticed he was there. 

“Whats wrong darlin’,” he asks, his arms wrapped around your waist. His voice and warmth surrounding you made the tears finally fall from your eyes. Your anxiety finally bubbling over. 

“Everything” you manage to get out before the sobs quickly follow. Lando doesn’t say anything, a thousand thoughts running through his head as he sees his best friend break down in his arms. He looks around the room, noticing your washbag by the shower, your makeup bag on the counter and a necklace near the edge of the sink. “Let's sit down,” Lando says, trying to take a few steps backwards to be able to lean against the wall. However, what he wasn’t expecting was for you to freak out as he pulled you back. 

Your breath suddenly became laboured, the tears began falling quicker. And the safe feeling of Lando’s arms around you? Suddenly they all felt too suffocating. Why was he even here? Why did he ask you? He has plenty of other friends that were so much better looking. Was he trying to embarrass you by bringing you here? Trying to clear your sight, you look around the room trying to find the escape, but nothing was working and it felt like the walls were getting closer and closer to each other. You feel your body go into auto-drive as you take a few steps back. Suddenly, your back hit the glass of the shower door. The cold of the glass sends you even further into a spiral. 

Lando stood in the corner of the room watching you. He had seen you have an anxiety attack before but never as bad as this. He was panicking inside but he knew that if you were able to see him and saw him freaking out, you would freak out more. Taking a deep breath, he made his way towards you once more. 

“Y/N?” You heard him ask. But your mind was running faster than his McLaren car. You tried to respond but you couldn’t. Your vision was grey and your body felt like it was shaking enough for people to think that there was an earthquake. 

Trying to think back to how he had calmed you down before during an anxiety attack, Lando finally remembered. He quickly ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, first running towards the bed, he ripped the heavy blanket from the foot of the bed before running to his suitcase, practically throwing it to the floor, he unzipped it and pulled the first hoodie he saw from the neat piles of clothes. Having all of the items he needed, he sped back to the bathroom, noticing you still spiralling near the shower. Not wanting to scare you he moved slowly towards you. He took his hoodie, placed it into your hands, and pushed your hands towards your face. He let out a breath of relief when he saw you pause for a second. But the relief didn’t last very long when the sobs became even harder. He knew what he needed to do next. He took the blanket and wrapped you in it as tightly as possible before pulling you into his arms once again. 

You didn’t know what was happening but all you could smell was Lando and the pressure of something wrapped around you. The smell of him and the pressure helping you to slowly come back down to earth. You push your face further into whatever it was that smelt like him. The dizzy feeling not wanting to leave you be just yet. 

Seeing you slowly calm down, Lando knew that this would probably be the best moment to pull you towards the floor. Holding onto you, he began crouching down, your body following him slowly. And when he managed to get to the floor, he leaned against the wall near the shower door and pulled you close to him. From here he could hear your breathing slow down, the sobs turning to sniffles. And when the sniffles slowly stopped, he spoke

“What's wrong, love?” he asked, his voice soft and yet full of worry. The girl in his arms doesn’t respond.  

“Sweetheart?” he prods. There is a pause before the woman speaks. “You shouldn’t be seen with me” she almost whispers. Lando stills his hand from where it was running up and down her arm. “What?” he responds. His voice was almost angry. You didn’t respond. Lando pushed himself forward. Pushing you up so that he could look into your eyes. 

You could feel the anxiety bubble up again as you saw so many emotions in his beautiful eyes. “Why shouldn’t I be seen with you? I mean look at you!” He speaks, his voice calm but confused. “Exactly,” you mutter hoping that he doesn’t hear you. But, he did. “Has someone said something to you?” he asks, trying to figure out what had caused you to feel this way. “I saw a comment on the Quadrant Instagram” you start, feeling the tears in your eyes begin to well up again. You keep your head down not wanting to make eye contact with the man in front of you. “It was the one where you’d asked me to model one of your t-shirts, where we were matching” you finish with a sniffle. You look at Lando quickly before looking away when you see the anger on his face. “They said, that you deserve better friends and that someone as big as me shouldn’t even be in the same room as you in case I crush you” you say, the feeling of getting what someone had said off your chest making you feel like you can breathe a little bit better. “And then the receptionist earlier, recognised me from the pictures where I’ve been seen with you, and she was nice to my face, but when I had gone behind the wall to put some stuff back into my backpack, I heard her say-” you spoke before being cut off by Lando’s angry voice “What did she say?” “she said” you pause “as if she thinks that god of a man would even sleep in the same bed as her fatass. He’s probably worried she’d turn over in the night and crush him to death. Fat bitch” By the end of your sentence, Lando had moved to stand up and was moving towards the bathroom door. “Please don’t leave me,” you said into the quiet room as Lando got to the door. He stopped with his hand on the door handle, his knuckles white as he tried to reign in his anger at what he had been told.

—--------------------- lando pov

How fucking dare that woman say anything about his girl. What gave her the right to say something so disgusting? So untrue? The door handle beginning to feel warm in his hand is what brought him back to reality. He turned to see the woman who had always been so strong, so self-confident about herself, in pieces on their hotel bathroom floor. It’s something he never thought he would see. And he didn’t know how to deal with it. Should he call someone? No. You wouldn’t want anyone to see you like this. He sighed, seeing you sitting on the floor, still looking so gorgeous, with your head down and leaning against the shower door. He moves to sit next to you again, sitting as close as possible to you. Close enough that he could smell your signature sweet perfume. Close enough that he can see the tear streaks on your cheeks. He saw you cautiously place your head on his shoulder, making him smile. He moves his arm so that you can cuddle up to him easier. His fingers trace the material of your shirt. Looking down, he realises it's a corset, and the sight makes him blush. The fabric of the material feels familiar to him. He pushes you to sit up a little bit. And in that moment, he realises. He realises that he has been in love with you. He has been since he was 14 when you were the first person to run to him to celebrate his CIK-FIA World Championship. Maybe he’d just been pretending this whole time that he didn’t love you, or maybe he didn’t want to believe it, in case it meant that he would lose you. He looks down at your outfit, finally noticing the corset properly. His cheeks heat up when he realises what it is. It was his top that he had signed for her after his first podium, he couldn’t believe that you would have kept the t-shirt this long and how you’d managed to keep it in good condition from the 2020 Austrian Grand Prix champagne shower. The corset had his surname (and he definitely hadn’t had dreams in the past of it being your surname too, absolutely not) written right at the top with his number underneath. He didn’t know yet, but if he spun you around his signature would be on the back. Then he saw the necklace hung delicately around your neck, the silver chain elongating your neck as it shone beautifully from the base of your neck. And one day he hoped that it could be his lips there instead, if you’d let him. It took him a few more seconds to realise that it was his initial that was hanging around your neck. The more he took you in the more he noticed the little details. The orange bracelet around your wrist, his initials. The earrings in your slightly red ears, the ones he had brought you. The rings that he had helped your parents choose for your 21st adorned your hands that he’d always loved were smaller than his. He took all of you in, finally seeing you. Finally realising that you were his girl. Looking into your eyes, he saw how red they were, and he wondered how many times you had cried because of his fans. “I'm so sorry” he whispered, raising his hands to place them between your neck and your jaw.  “If I had known that my fans would make you feel like this I would never have ever started racing” He spoke quietly to her, his thumb rubbing back and forth gently on her cheek. “I love you so much” he told her. Never meaning anything more. 

y/n pov —------------------------

The two of you had told each other multiple times that you loved each other. Your heart broke a little bit when your mind told you that he would only ever meant that as a sibling, or a friend at most. Your heart raced as you felt him rest his forehead against yours, his thumb still rubbing soothing swipes against your tear soaked cheeks. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you as you sat in the bathroom. “Can i tell you something?” Lando whispered, pulling back from you slightly, almost regretting it when he saw the worry return to your eyes. “Do you remember when we were 14?” he asked. The memories came flooding back, making a smile appear on your face. “I remember when you came running past the security, even past my parents and straight at me just as I’d gotten out of the kart. It was that moment, with your arms wrapped around my neck and my arms wrapped around you that I realised I was head over heels in love with you. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself for the last 10 years, but I can’t do it anymore. I need the world to know you’re my girl. I love you, more than racing, more than life, more than stroopwafel’s” he said, the smile getting bigger at the end of the sentence. “I remember nearing pushing you over with how hard i was hugging you and nearly being told off by your coach because we nearly fell onto the kart. I’d never seen you smile so big. But” you paused looking up at him, seeing the worry flash across his eyes at your statement “i fell inlove with you when you tried horse riding for the first time, and you fell off. You looked straight at me and you had the worst hair cut but you put your thumbs up at me and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live in this world if you werent in it. I tried dating other people, thinking I would finally be able to get over you, but i’ve never been able to get over you. My exs all said that they could see how in love with you I was and they couldn’t compete against it. You’d always have my heart. And they’re right, Lando. I love you more than anything in this world. I’ve only ever been able to call you my man in my dreams” you spoke, blushing towards the end of your sentence. 

“In your dreams, huh?” Lando teased, smirking. “Shut up” you mumbled, suddenly feeling very self conscious again. You felt Lando’s fingers under your chin, pulling it so that you would look up at him.  “Lets not waste anymore time. Be mine?” he asks you, his eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes. “Lemme think about it” you teased. “I suppose I can spare some time for you, but it’s on one condition” you continued. “Which is?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “Kiss me”. And that he did. You have never had such a passionate kiss in your life. It felt like every missed moment, every almost moment was being poured into the kiss. And if the kisses were like this, you never wanted to stop kissing him. But unfortunately, Lando’s phone began ringing. He groaned into your lips, not wanting this moment to end. Ultimately, it was you that pulled away. “You should answer that, boyfriend” you said. The word making him smile as he pulled his phone from his back pocket. “It’s Zak, but he wants to video call” he said nervously trying to regulate his emotions enough to speak to his boss. 

“Lando? Where are you? Are you still at the hotel? You’re lucky the hotel is literally across the street. Media starts in 10 minutes. Be here, or we will be having a talk.” the older man spoke, barely letting the younger man have a chance to get a word in. 

“Yes, Zak” he said, still barely containing his smile. The men nodded at each other before hanging up the phone. Lando placed his phone back onto the floor before pulling you back into a kiss. 

Begrudgingly, Lando pulled away, pushing himself to stand up. Then, he held his hands out to you. He managed to pull you up gracefully enough, and pulled you into him, pulling you in for another kiss, which made you begin to giggle. Your giggles set off lando’s giggles, and then you and Lando were holding onto each other, laughing. Lando moved his hands to hold your face again. 

“I need to go, but I’ll get Oscar, Max and the Guys to send their girlfriends in. I know you’re anxious, but I promise you’ll love them, and they’ll love you. And,” he said pulling you into a quick kiss, again, “I’ll see you soon, Girlfriend”. The words made your heart flutter. Lando stepped away, one of his hands still holding onto yours. He turned, about to finally make his way out of the bathroom when he came turning back to you. He pulled you into another passionate kiss. And as he pulled away he whispered into your ear “You look absolutely stunning, baby”. The pet name made you blush, which in turn made Lando smirk. He kissed your forehead, squeezed your hand and made his way out of the room. Away from his girl. 

Lando to his boys:

wags group chat:

y/n posted to Instagram

ynusername: today I became part of something I never thought I would. I made friends younger I could only dream about making. Younger me, if you could see me now, we made it. In more ways than one. Thank you @/landonorris for sending this angels my way and also for making me your girl.

landonorris: my girl

------ user 1: WHAT?!

------ user 2: we've been seeing this coming for years! FINALLY!

carmenmmundt: our girl

-------- landonorris: my girl

------- lilyzneimer: our girl x 2

------- flavy.barla: our girl x 3

------- francisca.gomes: our girl x 4

------- heidiberger_: our girl x 5

------- alexandrassaintmleux: our girl x 6

-------lilymhe: our girl x 7

------- iamrebeccad: our girl x 8

------- tiffanycromwell: our girl x 9

------- logjorup: our girl x 10

------ kellypiquet: our girl x 11

------ carolamtz1: our girl x 12

------ landonorris: MY GIRL

The corset in question (I've cropped my own face out, please no hate)

Let me know if you guys want a part two! And if you want to be tagged in part two!

[shadowshrike]

Interfering with Halsin's Portal

It's pretty well known that there are a few situations you can get in where Halsin is well and truly angry rather than disappointed or worried, but I don't think a lot of folks know one of those situations is if you mess with his portal to the Shadowfell. It's a heartwrenching bit of acting. It's also fundamental to the plot of my in-progress fic Girdled Roots, so I figured I might share it with the other Halsin-lovers out there who have never seen it.

EDIT: Please be aware this is datamined dialog and may not be visible in game. It appears to be intended to trigger if the player attempts to enter the portal, which I don't believe is possible in the final game, or at least I couldn't find a way in the most recent version. Sharing this is simply to enjoy the incredible acting and get some plot bunnies moving, not to make any commentary about the game's canon.

Halsin's Initial Reaction

Halsin: No! Stop! Halsin: It's gone... that was our one chance. You've doomed this place to darkness! Halsin: I warned you - told you this was my burden to carry. Why didn't you listen?

The pure rage and despair is visceral. Prior to this, Halsin mentions this portal has been a century in the making, but he's so calm and measured (even upon success) that it is easy to dismiss just how much agony has plagued him as he hoped to make things right. This chance is everything to him. It has guided his every action for a century. It is a hundred years of work, prayer, and guilt to rectify the horrific fate of both land and people that came to nothing because a stranger he trusted refused to listen to him.

The portal breaking is the only time we hear Halsin speak the truth of its importance to him without a hint of emotional regulation. He is wild with pain. This man who is always thoughtful and slow to anger in the face of horror with the wisdom of age and suffering to guide him has become too overwhelmed to show any kindness.

Player response

The player is given several different ways to respond, and Halsin's reaction varies a surprising amount depending on how understandable their reason is. In most cases, he states that he needs to be alone afterward.

Option 1: I'm sorry - I acted on instinct. Halsin: Words won't repair what's been done to this land. Nothing will... I need to be alone.

You can hear the ache in Halsin's voice, but he's somewhat understanding of this response. He projects more sadness than unchecked rage. The player has admitted to making a mistake, and Halsin isn't the type of person who hold onto vengeance when an apology has been made, but he's not naive or people-pleasing enough to say "it's okay" or offer comfort either. The safest thing for everyone is for him to step away to grieve when there is nothing more to be done.

Option 2: I did all the work here - I couldn't just let you take the glory. Halsin: Glory?! There's no glory here. Now there's nothing here - only shadows and the total absence of hope. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Pure fury radiates from Halsin's response if the player focuses on the idea of being some grand hero rather than actually caring for the outcome. What the player did was an unforgiveable act, dooming everything that Halsin holds dear, and you have the audacity to complain about not getting glory from it. Again, he steps away, but this feels more like he's doing it because he believes you're worthless to reason with rather than because he needs a moment.

Option 3: I saved your grove - I figured it'd be best if I handled this as well. Halsin: We were this close to healing these lands. Now your arrogance has torn open the wounds once more. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Halsin is still frustrated with this response and unmistakably angry, but it's significantly toned down from the idea of wanting to go through the portal for glory. More like he thinks you're a self-important idiot than a truly terrible person.

Specialized player responses

There are also three special responses you can give if you have a particular class or diety.

Druid: I thought my powers were equal to yours. Halsin: It wasn't just power this needed - it was wisdom, understanding. I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse... and it seems I will continue to do so. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Interestingly, he responds much more intensely to a druid than some of the other player choices. It might be in part because he feels like a druid should know better. He lectures the player like an Archdruid would initiates in his Grove, alternating between angry and explanatory, trying to get the player to understand why they were wrong and the sheer magnitude of their error. He ultimately ends in a much more resigned place here rather than personally resentful. Like a father-figure being forced through further life trials because of a child's foolish indiscretion. Frustrating, but inevitable.

Selunite: I trusted in Selûne to guide me through the shadows. Halsin: My friend - I wish you had trusted in me.

This is probably Halsin's most simple response with the least vitriol. He fully understands this answer, even if he's disappointed by it. The fact he calls the player 'friend' suggests a certain tired acceptance of this being a natural behavior for a Selunite trying to do good. We don't see this calm in other responses where Halsin was surprised by the player's choice.

Sharran: The Shadowfell is no place for non-believers - I couldn't allow you to soil it. Halsin: I should never have trusted an ally of the Dark Lady.

If you've ever taken Halsin along with Shadowheart in Act 2, then you know he is absolutely scathing toward her and her faith. He likely isn't as angry if a Sharran breaks the portal because it is utterly predictable. It merely confirms a truth he already knew and talked himself out of. That Sharrans cannot be fully trusted in matters of their goddess, even if one was good enough to rescue his people from the goblins.

[chrysalind]

sweet and sour

pairing: suna rintarou x reader wc: 880 tags: fluff, fake dating, (real) jealousy, party setting ofc, reader wears makeup and is shorter than suna

Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.

It had been after his last linear algebra exam, during his third consecutive hour of mourning, when it finally occurred to him that it didn't matter. Of course, it mattered in the sense that it would affect his GPA, and as a result, his job prospects, career, ability to be approved for a mortgage and become a homeowner, and of course his retirement. But in a more 'in the moment' sense, it didn't matter at all.

This was because, he'd rationalized, it had already happened and there was no use agonizing over it after the fact. And so, for a few short days, Suna abided by the belief that if he couldn't change something, he simply wouldn't bring himself to care about it.

So when you drag him into the tiny bathroom of someone's apartment with a swipe of glitter under your left eye and a frazzled expression on your pretty face, Suna is fully prepared to put his new philosophy into action.

The door shuts behind you, muffling the din of music and people and he tries not to think about how precariously close your drink is to the edge of the sink when you set it down.

"I need a favour," you begin, wringing your wrists as he tries not to fall backwards into the shower. It is, in fact, a very tiny bathroom.

"Nah," he replies, managing to right himself against the towel rack.

"'Nah'?" you repeat, jutting out your bottom lip. "But you don't even know what I'm going to ask."

He rationalizes that it can't be anything worth putting in the effort for. Therefore would it even make sense for him to hear you out? He thinks not.

However, as he eyes the door behind you, your face bobs into view, obstructing his path to escape.

"Please," you whine, dropping down from a tippy toe. "Just hear me out."

He glances once at his reflection in the mirror before his gaze slides up to the ugly white light on the ceiling.

"Fine."

"Yes," you exclaim, your elbow narrowly missing the cup. Suna looks away.

"Okay, so my ex is here with his new girlfriend," you begin, your hands moving fast, "and so I would really, really be so grateful if you could maybe, possibly, pretend that we're together."

He blinks. "Nah."

Your face falls. "But I'm gonna look like a loser out there."

He wonders if the glitter is supposed to draw attention to your eyes. If so, why just one side?

"That doesn't even make any sense," he says. "No one cares that you're single." After all, no one cares that he's single. Except for himself, sometimes, although, he's learning to let go of that.

You're pouting again. "I care. And I'm pretty sure that he cares. Chiharu said that he told the other guys on the soccer team that he was bringing her because he knew that I'd be here. Like, isn't that kind of fucked up?"

Something like irritation wriggles in his brain but he quickly shuts that down. After all, what can he really change about the situation? Even if he does pretend to be your boyfriend for tonight, your ex will continue to be a convincing piece of evidence that Neanderthals might still walk amongst modern humans. And even then, you'll still be hung up on him and things between you two will just stay the same. So why should he bother?

"I'm gonna pass," he says dryly, squeezing past you to get to the door. Your elbow brushes against the cup and it falls, clattering into the sink and splashing red liquid down the sides.

"Just tell him to go fuck himself or something," he shrugs, before twisting the doorknob. "Or just pretend he's not there at all."

"But Rin," you pout as he lets the chaos of the party flood into the small space, "I thought we were friends."

And you are friends, he thinks, as he shoulders his way back through the crowd. That's the problem.

That's the fucking problem.

So when he spots you, fifteen minutes later, with your back up to a wall and that Cro-Magnon specimen crowding you, he thinks it's finally time to seriously reconsider his philosophy.

And sometime in the five steps it takes to cross the room does he finally come to the conclusion that enlightenment just isn't for him.

"Hey, angel," he says as he turns you around to face him. Your lips are parted in surprise and the glitter reflects fuchsia and gold in the low light.

He's acutely aware that the two of you are not alone, but he can't bring himself to look away. Something like a second epiphany dawns on him.

"Sorry it took a while," he murmurs as he leans down to meet your gaze.

"But better late than never, right?"

Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.

But right now, tonight, as you let him kiss you in front of all the people you know, he decides that inner peace is entirely overrated.

[nqueso-emergency]

This might be long, but it really annoys me that the BoBs focus so hard on Buddie being cannon. They don't care about the cannon Eddie. I don't think they understand how it can destroy you to lose the love of your life. Then add the unresolved anger and guilt and Eddie is not okay. He's barely dealt with any of it.

I haven't liked Eddie since the Kim situation started. And it's because he forgot about Chris. My husband died a few years ago and I'll be real, I'm not over it. But I made my kids, his kids my first priority. It's not been perfect, of course. My daughter had developmental delays, not as severe as Chris's, but still. She's had people act like she's a burden and like they don't like her. She was worried that anyone I may date in the future might not like her. I told her I wouldn't date anyone that didn't like her. She (and her brother) would always come first. I honestly would be devastated if I drove my two kids away.

I know Eddie loves Chris, but he has been callous with his feelings by introducing girlfriends before things got serious and allowing Chris to form attachments with them. So, even more people left him. Chris's abandonment issues rival, if they don't surpass Buck's. But with Kim, Eddie completely forgot to think about how this would effect Christopher, how traumatic it would be for Chris to even see her, when his feelings for his mom are so conflicted. Eddie was so focused on his own feelings, because he never dealt with his grief and anger, that he invited Kim into their house. Not just Eddie's house, but Christopher's house too. A place where he should feel safe.

Chris has every right to be angry with his father. His father probably no longer feels safe (emotionally) to him. Until Eddie works on himself, makes real amends and shows Chris he is working on himself, he won't get anywhere with Chris. In fact, he could lose him altogether.

It's not too late. Chris loves his father and I bet he wants to make up with him. But it's not safe for him to and he is too angry. Eddie will have to make the first move and not just a call where he pretends everything is okay. And Eddie will have to go at Chris's pace. This kind of betrayal isn't healed quickly. Maybe it will be, because it's TV, but it shouldn't be.

I want to like Eddie again, he's a good guy and I know he wants to be a good father. He needs to fix this. Then and only then, should he worry about his love life. But it won't be with Buck. Because Eddie is straight and Buck and Tommy is such a fun story.

I adore this!! It's exactly how I feel about the Eddie situation!! ❤️

And hugs to you, mama!! I'm so sorry for your loss 🫂 you sound like an amazing person, a wonderful parent, and a beautiful soul ❤️

[endofthelinepal107]

sukuna - a deal with the devil pt. 2/3

{in the aftermath of your agreement with the king of curses, you find your alliance becoming more personal than either of you expected} 5.8k words

part one + part two + part three

notes: kind of OC sukuna because he's way too lenient and soft with you

warnings: cursing

tags: @missroro

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Sukuna sat down on the concrete, one leg propped up. You sat down opposite him, leaving a healthy amount of space between you. The two of you needed to figure out how this arrangement was going to work, and that meant being open with each other. You started.

"In the jujutsu world, I'm not exactly as much of an insider as my friends are," you told him honestly. "I try to follow their moral code, but it's no secret that I don't agree with a lot of it. I cross lines pretty often, get into trouble with the higher-ups. I think, if I didn't associate with the people I did, I'd probably have been executed a long time ago." You looked down at your hands. "I wasn't meant to actually... help you. Just manipulate you enough and provide just enough benefits to win you over. But I don't want to do that, because it doesn't have to be done like that. And I- I think that you recognise that, too."

Sukuna listened in silence. Up until then, he hadn't been able to identify what it was about you that kept catching him off guard. Now, he knew. It was your sincerity. When was the last time someone was sincere to him? Even Uraume wasn't entirely sincere, because of their stifling obsequiousness. So the last time someone had looked at him and spoken completely honestly and sincerely was probably never.

When you finished talking, Sukuna didn't argue. He took his turn fairly.

"Before I was incarnated in this form, I was a sorcerer, like you. Stronger, much stronger. The Heian era was a much harsher world than the one you live in, so my strength increased rapidly. Then I died. Then I was a cursed spirit. And now I'm me again." His expression shifted in a scowl as he continued. "During your foolish attempts to antagonise me, you mentioned my four arms, which I still retain. My true form is still present if I wish it to be, and so are my cursed techniques." He paused, then looked you dead in the eye. "If I see fit, I will kill you in an instant. A binding vow will not stop me from doing that."

He didn't know what response he expected, but the nod he received wasn't it. And he couldn't stop the thought that ran through his head: He knew for certain that he was not going to kill you. Ever. He didn't know exactly why, but he knew that with conviction.

"Okay." You inhaled, then exhaled. Then you turned your palm up, as though you were offering him something. "We have to determine the kind of dynamic we're going to have."

"I will maintain absolute power."

"I don't think you will, though."

"Sorcerer, you should watch your tone when you address me, or you may find yourself without a tongue to backchat with."

"King, you might think I'm an idiot, but I'm not so much of an idiot that I don't realise that this is a mutually beneficial situation."

"Your death would be mutually beneficial."

"What would be mutually beneficial would be an equal partnership."

"I must admit, I'm a little impressed that you said that with a straight face."

The bickering made you sigh and you leaned back on your hands. "The other sorcerers aren't going to let you out of my sight regardless. What I should really be suggesting is that I hold the power, but I'm not stupid. Equality is the fairest way to do it."

He stared you down for a long few moments. Then he let out a huff, turning his head and looking down the road. "If there is an instance where violence is necessary, it falls into my jurisdiction."

You were just as amazed as he was that he had just agreed to that, but you had the sense to talk before he could change his mind. "If there's negotiation, then I should get to do it."

"I don't want to talk to juvenile, weak sorcerers, anyway." He sounded petulant. He looked it, too.

"We should share information back and forth," you added, "to make sure this works properly."

Sukuna looked back at you. "Currently, we're establishing a structure of co-dependence." He waited for you to argue. When you just nodded in acknowledgement, he carried on. "The usual barrier to co-dependence is a lack of reciprocity."

"So, we need a sort of constant flow between us," you nodded. "A continued stream of back and forth."

"Information, opinion, and intention," he nodded.

You held his gaze for a moment, then rose to your feet. "I think we should go and talk to the others. Before they come looking for us."

Sukuna stood too. It was going to take him a while to get used to someone using 'we' and 'us' in reference to him. "I suppose there's nothing they could say that would allow me to massacre every one of them without breaking our agreement?"

The genuine surprise on your face at what you were ninety percent sure had been a joke irritated him. He didn't follow it up with anything. You led the way towards the more populated area of Shibuya. Or, you did for about ten seconds.

"This must be part of your act, sorcerer," Sukuna commented.

You looked at him in confusion. You didn't need to say anything for him to realise that it wasn't.

"Oh, for-" He cut himself off, jaw ticking. "This is ridiculous. You would move faster without legs."

And, before you could even register what was happening, one of his strong hands was grabbing hold of the back of your shirt, bundling it up in his grip. Sukuna lifted you off the ground effortlessly, keeping you roughly upright as he moved. He couldn't actually fly, but his speed and jumping height meant that he might as well have been able to. 

"Where?" He barked.

You were on the brink of letting out an embarrassing squeal, your feet coming far too close to a rooftop for your liking. You managed to point in the direction of a junction, where you could see Kento and Suguru exorcising a cursed spirit. Sukuna dropped you back onto your feet. Neither of you mentioned it. You smoothed down your clothes and hoped you didn't look too stunned. He tried desperately hard to excuse that act of service as him avoiding an irritating wait.

Suguru and Kento had caught sight of the two of you now. They both looked incredibly wary. It wasn't until you saw Kento reach for his blade that you glanced over at Sukuna and saw the way he was walking.

"You-" You cleared your throat, then lowered your voice. You put it as neutrally as you could. "I think that passivity, or at least the appearance of it, is going to be the best strategy."

He looked at you. For a second, he genuinely looked like he was going to lean over and bite your had off. Then his expression shifted and he looked abruptly less threatening. His face still looked thunderous when he looked towards your friends, who had grown in number as the others joined them, but you knew any degree of softness was something to value.

You didn't have to tell him to fall back. Sukuna walked a pace behind you. He looked casual, but you were close enough to see his jaw ticking as you approached your friends. You shot them a small, tight smile.

"Hi."

They all listened in dead silence as you outlined roughly what had happened and what you'd agreed with Sukuna. He was quiet too. He made mental note of everything you missed out: the time you'd spent sitting together discussing the truth about yourselves, the equality in your partnership, the benefits you'd told him. It wasn't until you'd finished and then paused to make sure there was nothing else you wanted to say that you added,

"And he's under my protection."

That comment was the one that broke the dam. Kento sat up in his chair. Suguru's eyes flicked from you to Sukuna. Satoru laughed and then mumbled something unintelligible that sounded a lot like, 'oh, fuck.'

"Well, we need to remedy this," Kento said once everyone had settled down.

Suguru leaned forwards. "The prison realm is a viable option."

Kento nodded. ""Imprisonment or some method of limiting his cursed energy are the safest options."

A frown worked itself onto your face. Then, to Sukuna's amazement more than anyone else's, you shook your head. "No. No, none of them are options at all."

Satoru's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"The objective of the plan was to get him on our side so that we could ensure his strength isn't used against us." You gestured beside you. "He's on our side. He's not killing anyone. We got what we wanted from him, so why would we continue to treat him like a monster?"

Suguru cleared his throat. "It may have slipped your mind, but the King of Curses is literally a monster."

You crossed your arms over your chest, firmly standing your ground. "Well, you all told me to align myself with this 'monster.' This is the result of that. Those are not options."

Sukuna stared at you. 

Oh, fucking shit. Shit.

Humans and sorcerers were fucking stupid. They were weak, and pathetic, and fickle. He was above them. He'd proven that time and time again. People like this didn't deserve to step foot in the same city as him, let alone stand a few paces away and discuss how they were going to restrain him.

But you. You were standing in front of the most powerful people in the jujutsu world. In front of your friends, your allies, the only people that had your back. And you were defending him. 

It wasn't like you were some fierce, strong-willed sorcerer that feared nothing. He could tell that you were anxious about it. Your hands were trembling, that was why you had crossed your arms. Your voice was a little shaky, that was why you were speaking in short sentences. You didn't like having to be confrontational, especially against them. But you were doing it anyway. For him.

Sukuna took a step forward, so that he was properly standing beside you instead of slightly behind you. They all moved quickly, about to throw everything they had at him. Smoothly, Ryomen stuck his hands in his pockets and let out a soft, almost bored huff.

"If that's all you people have to say, I'm going to take my sorcerer and we're going to go do something more useful with our time. I am above this."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you straighten up, surprised by the fact that he was speaking, then by his words. Technically, he was breaking the agreement of participating in the negotiation. But he knew you wouldn't mind. To him, this was part of the agreement, too. He was defending you, like you'd defended him.

When all of your friends stood in silence, Sukuna spoke again. "Unless you would prefer for us to remain? There are plenty of civilians left in this part of the city. I'd be more than content to pick a few hundred off while you continue to-" 

"No, no, no," Suguru interrupted. "No."

Sukuna hummed with false interest. "Oh, you don't want that?"

Kento's jaw ticked. "No, of course we don't want that."

Sukuna's hands came out of his pockets. Suddenly, he looked like he'd grown a foot. He looked genuinely furious, enough that even Satoru's eyes widened a little. "You better stand the fuck down then, hadn't you, pathetic sorcerers?" Your lips parted. "Back off and leave her alone, hm? She's done exactly what you've asked her to. It's not her fault that it doesn't look how you intended."

He glanced over at you as he realised how his intention to defend you had become a little more obvious. The look on your face wasn't hugely obvious, but he saw it anyway. You were surprised, despite everything. A little pleased. And...grateful. It was exactly the look his face had worn a few moments ago, when you had spoken up for him. Because it felt nice to have an ally, to know someone had your back.

--

Unsurprisingly, nobody tried to stop the two of you from leaving Shibuya. Sukuna lifted you again, with a little more care this time. You pointed him in the right direction until you reached your house. You couldn't think of anywhere else to take him, and both of you were more tired than you'd care to admit.

He set you down in the middle of the road. Both of you walked in an alarmingly comfortable silence. Sukuna didn't comment on anything or show even a hint of interest until you were pushing open a small gate and pulling a set of keys out of your pocket. 

Then he blinked, looking up at the building in front of him. There was no doubt in his mind that this was your home. And, despite the snarky voice in the back of his head that wanted to mock your human dwelling place, he couldn't stop thinking that this was a little intimate, a little familiar. He didn't feel like he should be standing behind you while you fiddled with your keys. He didn't feel like he should have been the one that made sure the gate was closed behind him. 

He didn't feel like he should be acting like this version of himself here.

"Show me your dwelling place, then, woman."

You dropped your keys. Sukuna glanced at you. The action itself didn't amuse him, mostly because it irritated him that even dropping the King of Curses act didn't mean you weren't scared of him. What did amuse him, though, was that you didn't bend over to pick them up, you just rested your hand over your face and groaned.

"Sorry," you muttered, "that really took me by surprise."

Sukuna watched you, watched the back of your hand. Then he bent down and picked up your keys. It took him a few tries to figure out how exactly to work the lock, but he did it. Your hand fell away from your face at the first clink of metal on metal, and you watched him until he pushed the door open.

"Thank you." 

He looked at you, surprised by the weight of your words. Then he nodded slightly. He looked away, because he didn't like the way that made him feel.

You took the keys back, dropping them into the dish. Then you turned on the living room light and stepped into the house. Sukuna didn't step in.

"May I step over the threshold?"

You looked at him in surprise, already midway through taking off your shoes. "Oh- Yeah, come in. I guess you'll be here for a while." You hesitated and he could almost see you dropping an act, too. Not as big of an act as his, but an act nonetheless. "Um- I hope that it's okay. It's no... palace, or whatever a King of Curses lives in."

He shut the door behind him, taking off his shoes as he looked at you. "I don't live anywhere."

Your eyes bored into his for a long few seconds. And then, when you smiled, it was a genuine smile. "It's step up from that, at least."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Sukuna nudged his shoes out of the way, then rested his hands on his hips. "I told you to show me your abode, didn't I?"

You nodded. "What do you mean, though? A.. Like a tour?"

"Show me everything," he said simply.

You were silent for a moment. Then you led him through the house, towards the bedroom. That seemed like the safest bet, since you couldn't see how a bed and a wardrobe could have changed too drastically. 

You pushed your bedroom door open and flicked on the closest lamp. "This is my room," you told him, stepping aside so he could walk in too.

Sukuna didn't clash with the room as much as you had expected. Especially when he casually walked over to your drawers and started tugging them open. You watched for about three seconds before registering that he was rifling through your underwear.

"Wh- That's-"

He glanced at you as you approached him. "Don't tell me that you're a weak sorcerer and a prude."

You scowled, but his words didn't sting much at all now. "It's my underwear."

"You're a prude," he retorted. But he shut the drawer. "Explain the blinking lights."

You looked at him. "What?"

"The lights that you non-verbally command," Sukuna elaborated. When you still looked clueless, he waved at the lamp. "Foolish woman."

You hummed. "Oh, lightbulbs. Um... electricity."

"An overwhelmingly helpful response."

You walked back over to the lamp, lifting the wire. "It's a current of energy, kind of, and it flows through wires and into things. And then you can switch it on or off. And you can die if you touch the current directly."

"Why are you handling it with such nonchalance, if you may die at any second?"

"Because it's protected by the wire." You dropped it anyway, suddenly struck by the fear that you would get electrocuted. It was stupid, but he sounded so confident that you half-expected your body to start convulsing. "Anyway, that's all there really is in here."

Sukuna didn't respond. He made his way around your room, inspecting everything. He spent a while looking at your posters and photos. It was pretty obvious that he had no idea what to make of them, but he didn't say anything. Once he was done, he pointed towards the door.

"Reveal the next room to me."

You showed him the bathroom. He had the basic understanding of what things were, even if they were much more advanced now. He flushed the toilet three times before he noticed you were trying to suppress a smile. Still, he couldn't help marvelling at all the small elements of human life that he'd never experienced before. He pointed at things and you told him what they were, and he seemed pretty content with the activity thus far.

"That."

"Toothbrush."

"That."

"Vitamin supplement."

"That."

"Rubber duck."

"That."

"Shower- No, no, no-"

Sukuna leaned forwards and turned the shower on. His eyes widened as water shot straight at him. You gasped, leaping over to try and help. His hand was still over the knob, so you had to lean into him to tug it off.

"No, you have to turn-"

"I am turning, your shower is broken-"

"It's not broken, you're turning the wrong-"

"It is not the wrong-"

"The shower-"

The stream finally stopped. You leaned back, soaked through and a little breathless. You looked at Sukuna. He was soaked too, his robe clinging to his skin. His pink hair was darkened and heavy with water. Then, before you could stop yourself, you were laughing. Sukuna let out a soft huff, but he couldn't hide his smile.

He knew he should be warier of you than he was. Nobody had ever gained his trust, let alone this quickly. He didn't like anybody, but he was catching himself feeling a strange fondness as he watched you. And you knew that he could kill you on a whim, regardless of the binding vow. But neither of you can help it.

"Maybe we should change before we continue the tour?" You suggested after your laughter died down.

"Yes, I agree."

--

Sukuna changed into one of your biggest oversized shirts and a pair of sweatpants that were just about baggy enough for him. He swiftly forgot about his new human clothes, though, because he stepped into the living area and saw you wearing your pyjamas. You were wearing little shorts with a simple oversized shirt. Something about it was so domestic and sweet that he actually stopped walking for a second, having to force his feet forwards.

"Rise, woman, and show me the next room."

You turned, eyes lighting up at the sight of him in your clothes. You held back any comments, though. You rose to your feet and showed him into the kitchen.

Sukuna interrogated you about every single appliance, from the fridge to the coffee maker. You answered them all patiently. There was no laughter now. That amusement had faded into something else. Neither of you were acknowledging it. It felt heavy, like the air between you was weighed down by something. Both of you were too wary of what it might be to actually turn around and mention it. You weren't even addressing the easy comfort of what you were doing right now.

"And this is the lounge," you finished, arms spread out.

Sukuna watched as they fell back to your sides. He prowled around the room, inspecting everything. "What's the black box?"

You reached for the remote and turned the television on. "Television."

"Its purpose?"

"Uh, entertainment, I guess. You can watch stuff or play games on it." You turned the television off.

Sukuna sniffed a candle, then glanced at the couch. It looked comfortable, and he was getting tired. But he didn't know what the protocol was. He didn't want to offend you, not now. He kind of liked that you trusted him, and he didn't want to fuck that up. So, like he had earlier, he asked.

"May I sit, woman?"

He absolutely hated the look of surprise on your face as you looked at him, but he loved the way you smiled at him, nodding. Your hands were clasped together as you watched him sit down. He made sure to sit comfortably, even though he was unsure if you were watching him like that because you were worried about his comfort, or if it was something else. When he was comfortable, he glanced up. You were sitting down beside him, cross legged. 

It felt right.

"Why did you let me catch you in your domain? The second time?"

He was taken aback by the sudden question for a second. But then he saw your curious face and he realised you'd probably been wondering that for a while now. He thought about it for a while. Then he hummed.

"There's not a deep answer to that."

"I don't mind if it's not deep. Just the truth."

He shrugged slightly, resting his arm along the back of the couch. "I got bored."

You looked at him. You weren't really surprised by his answer. You were friends with Satoru, and although he wasn't as strong as Sukuna, you knew that being that overpowered wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

He continued. "I'm strong. I've done more than your measly brain can fathom. Lived multiple lives. I'm fucking bored."

"Oh, I understand that," you nodded. "I'm no King of Curses, obviously, but it does sound familiar in a way."

Sukuna looked at you. You were right, you weren't a King of Curses. You didn't have his power running through your veins. But he was starting to wonder if he'd been wrong to take that to mean you were any less strong than he was.

And, as you looked down at your hands, thinking about his words and clearly thinking about your own experience, he realised that he already knew you enough to guess at what was stopping you from speaking further. What had you said to him when you were goading him into the trap?

'Because you can ease your inferiority complex.'

You looked like you felt lesser, too. Maybe you weren't having a whole millennia-long thing about it, but he could see the insecurity there. Sukuna wanted to see inside you. In the same way that you had revealed your home to him. He took a breath, then told you so.

"Your secrecy irritates me. Reveal your thoughts."

Maybe it came out harsher than he meant it too, but he still said it.

You looked at him for a second. Then you turned to face him properly, hands resting in your lap. And you told him.

You told him about the stupid worries. About how you were terrified of spiders, about the random and irrational fears you had. You told him about the tiny hiccups in your everyday life. About that lady on the bus last week that gave you a funny look. About how a friend of yours owed you a dinner because you'd let him sleep on your couch again. About how you were always worried about something or other, even when there was nothing to be worried about. About how you always scuff your shoes because you focus on not looking at the ground but then get distracted by the sky or the trees or the birds.

And then you paused, self-conscious about how long you'd spoken for and who you were saying it all to. But then you realised that he was listening like this was important information. That he cared so much that it was shining through even though he was trying to pretend otherwise.

He raised his eyebrow slightly. "Did I ask you to stop talking?"

You hesitated, then opened your mouth again. "And I have a lot of stupid insecurities, too. About stuff that I know doesn't matter and that nobody else probably thinks about so hard."

"Like?" He prompted impatiently.

And so you told him that, too. Stuff that you hadn't told anybody, that you'd only admitted to yourself properly in the last few years. It was so surprisingly easy to tell him. He didn't seem like the King of Curses anymore.

Sukuna listened to every word you said, storing it carefully away in his mind. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to ridicule you for your stupid, petty concerns. Demand why you care about the look you'll get from a stranger if you wear a skirt that's a few inches shorter than usual, when there are bigger things to be concerned with.

But he found himself paying close attention to you as you spoke. And he started to want to murder that store owner that looked at you funny with you dropped your card. And he kind of wants to take you out and spend an infinite amount of time helping you try on clothes until you figured out what you felt most comfortable in. And he wanted to take you to get those two cats you've been wanting for so long and let you decide whether they really will solve so many of your problems.

Because they're stupid concerns. Things that never have and probably never will enter his head. But, the more he listens to the lilt of your voice, the more he notices the little expressions that cross your face and that little habit you have of getting side-tracked but coming swiftly back to the point, the more he kind of does understand it.

Sukuna did have his concerns about how he's perceived. They're mostly rooted in whether or not people are frightened of him, sure, but they're there nonetheless. So he kind of got that part of it. And he was sure that, if he made a fool of himself in front of some lowly humans, he'd be thinking about it weeks later, too.

But he didn't think you should. 

Your self-conscious laugh interrupted his thoughts. He focussed on you as you started to speak again.

"Sorry, I know you probably think those are just... stupid, petty human concerns."

Sukuna didn't so much as crack a smile. He looked you directly in the eye and asked, "How would I generate human currency?"

You blinked at him. "Uh.. Wh-"

"How would I generate human currency?" He repeated.

You were silent for a long moment. Then you got over your surprise and offered a useful response. "Do you have any assets?"

Sukuna nodded. "I possess several estates and a few temples, both of which contain many artefacts. I asked you about human curre-" He cut himself off, staring at you in surprise. You looked back at him with wide eyes.

"Oh my god."

Sukuna raised his eyebrows. "What?"

You laughed. "Maybe I should help you sell all your properties and then steal half your money, since you have no bearing of the value of human currency." Even while you're joking, you're in disbelief. It made sense that he would be rich, but that rich? He was laughably wealthy.

Sukuna still didn't smile. "Why would you need to steal from me?"

You blinked. "Wh- I just mean because you must be very, very, very wealthy in terms of modern money."

"Most likely. I was wealthy in my era. Again, that isn't what I asked you." Sukuna's eyes flicked between yours. "I have no use for money. You can sell what assets I possess and take the money for yourself."

You looked at him for a second, then burst into laughter.

The arm that Sukuna had resting along the couch extended slightly. He hit you on the shoulder. "Don't fucking laugh at me, mortal."

You stopped laughing abruptly. "Oh my god," you say again.

"Will you stop saying that without due cause?" Sukuna snapped. "What is it that you're 'oh my god'ing about?"

"Do you- Do you not realise how much money that would be?" You asked him.

He shook his head slightly. "Enough, I imagine. How much?"

You're silent for a moment as you try to think of a way to quantify it. "It would be... millions and millions."

"Is that worth a lot?" Sukuna questioned. "You forget that this has no meaning to me, sorcerer."

"It would buy you, like... like, you could buy a whole castle. Multiple."

"Again-"

You shook your head. "I don't think there's any way of quantifying it. It's an obscene amount of money. Genuinely."

"Is it more than you currently possess?"

You laughed at that. "If money were animals, you would be, like, a humpback whale, and I'd be a fish. No, not even that. A crustacean. Maybe a barnacl-"

"I understand," he interrupted, "please end your nautical metaphor before I feel obligated to hurt you." You dutifully closed your mouth. "You will take the money. I have no use for it."

You shook your head. "No, I can't do that."

"I'm telling you to."

"But I still can't take it."

"I am the King of Curses."

"But we're equals."

"Tch." Sukuna glared at you for a second before he sighed exasperatedly. "If you are not being misleading about the value of my wealth, you would no longer have to even consider money. You could freely purchase your felines, new clothes, explore the worlds of your various hobbies as you'd like to. You could move to a quieter place. You could leave your permanent job as a jujutsu sorcerer and pursue only what you wish to."

As he spoke, you realised just how much attention he had been paying while you were talking. He hadn't just listened to your words, he had catalogued them, storing them away as though they really did matter to him. And now he was presenting a solution.

Why hadn't anybody just tried to talk to the King of Curses?

Why did he always kill everyone that got close, if he had so much attention to give?

Why were you the exception to his rule?

Sukuna finished talking and looked at you. He registered that you were just staring at him. He looked right back at you, waiting for the inevitable moment when you noticed that you were making eye contact and looked away, pretending not to have been staring.

But you didn't. Your eyes focussed on him and you swallowed, but maintained eye contact.

"Thank you, Sukuna," you said sincerely, voice warm and softer than it had been before.

He was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded. "You are welcome."

You smiled slightly. "Okay."

"Okay." He nodded again, and realised that he was well and truly fucked.

A silence fell over the two of you. It was a tense one, one that came because you'd both gotten a little too close to acknowledging that unspoken thing. You broke the silence.

"So, here's a problem that the King of Curses has never encountered-"

Sukuna interjected, mostly because he felt like he needed to remind you that he wasn't some soft best friend or something. "That is a bold and foolish assertion to make, foolish woman."

You laughed with a hint of nervousness. "Maybe, but I have one bed, and we agreed that we were equals, so.."

Sukuna looked at you. And he said nothing. You cleared your throat, but he still didn't speak. He just looked at you in complete silence for an uncomfortably long amount of time. And then, abruptly, he rose to his feet. He walked briskly down the hallway towards your bedroom.

"Hey..." You protested weakly. Ultimately, if he decided to take your room, it wasn't like you could stop him.

But Sukuna was turning around, arms crossed. "Are you coming, or not?"

You blinked, then stood up, stumbling after him. Sukuna was already in your bedroom. When you joined him, he pointed at the bed.

"There's enough space. We will share." At the first sign that you were going to protest, he raised his hand. "No, I will not accept argument."

"Okay, we'll share," you agreed, with not as much reluctance as you felt like you should have had.

You took a few steps towards the bathroom. Sukuna's hand snapped around your wrist and he forced you back.

"You dare walk away from me?" He growled.

You blinked at him, then reached down and slid your hand into his. The gesture clearly surprised him because he didn't yank your hand away. "I was going to brush my teeth, actually." You walked towards the bathroom, silently amazed when he let you pull him after you.

You let go of his hand and reached for your toothbrush. Then you found a spare in the cupboard, handing it to him. Sukuna had seen a few forms of tooth hygiene during his time, from blackening to using willow brushes. The minty fluoride you were brushing your teeth with was entirely unfamiliar. But he trusted you in your little human endeavours, so he mimicked you.

"Oh, shit."

You looked at him in surprise. Sukuna had just finished brushing his teeth and he was wearing an expression of pleasant surprise. "What?" You mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Had I been incarnated for longer, my breath would have stunk."

You couldn't help laughing at that. "Would you not have done it at all?"

"I wouldn't have known what the modern equivalent was," he replied. He glanced at you, then muttered, "I have you to thank."

You giggled. "Well, I'm glad I could show you the wonders of modern tooth hygiene."

"I didn't mean just about that."

You looked at him more seriously, recognising that he was trying to be sincere. Then you smiled. "I'm still glad."

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

that's part two! i hope you enjoyed an arguably OC sukuna. he is going to get a lot softer in the next (and final) part.

[peachyfnaf]

dawg as stupid as Omoon was acting these past few days, he was right about something. He is absolute SHIT at comforting people dhdjjfjdkfn. like holy shit your brother is greiving the loss of someone he loved, who he had to kill with his own two hands, and your response is to go on some sob story about how you aren't as cool and smart as people make you out to be and how you're a terrible brother but also you're still smart and stuff so 'ohh sunny if i'm bad just tell me, i'll still be your brother its okay, but the person your greiving was EVIL and STUPIDer!!!! im doing so much better then he did see!!!' like fuck moon you just said the most sob story nothing speech i've ever seen. and then said he'll leave and sun should just drown his feelings.

i was watching solar send hate beams through the back of moons head the whole time jdhfkf 'i don't think you where saying most of that to sun' just hit it on the head babe, you don't gotta baby him its okay to tell him that was shit LMAO

This ask is so fucking funny /pos

I sincerely hope Solar directly confronts Moon about this in upcoming episodes- cause I feel like this man is sick of seeing Moon's be assholes to their loved ones, and Solar has a lot of pent-up feelings about the Nexus situation too, I think. He's always been good at hiding those, but his emotions come out in tidal waves. If the dam breaks when he snaps at Moon, then the whole flood is coming.

And listen. I understand that Moon is not good at emotions, but now that he's finally talked to Sun and Sun has basically told him that what he needs is for Moon to just be there for him because he misses Nexus and he needs his family there with him so he's not alone in mourning his lost brother, Moon's response being "FUCK NEXUS" and then leaving Sun be to "bury his feelings" is. That's so fucking dumb of him, man. Respect to Moon enjoyers but he's being so dumb rn it's making me even more of a little hater than usual. I get that he might just be trying to help in his own way, but the way his help is being given is directly contradicting what Sun wants and needs right now. And that is not okay.

AND we know Moon is capable of proper forms of comfort because we saw him do so in the July 16th aftermath episodes. He was so kind and patient and sweet to Sun during that time, and he was there for him. He needs to do better, because we all know he can.

[666writingcafe]

New Voice Messages (Part Three)

Lucifer

"Hey. I know it's late and you're probably asleep, so you don't have to respond to this right away. I should be asleep, but I keep tossing and turning whenever I try, so I gave up on that hours ago. I'm currently sitting on the rooftop, looking up at the night sky. Well, and recording this message, but that's self-explanatory, I feel. *sighs* Don't mind my rambling. I'm both incredibly tired and slightly tipsy. I finally got around to trying the bottle of Demonus that Diavolo gave us as a housewarming gift, and it's pretty decent. I had a couple glasses of it before coming up here, thinking that it'd help put me to sleep. Obviously, it hasn't, but it was worth trying, I suppose. I at least feel like I can respond to your note without choking on my words or banging my head in frustration. *briefly pauses* Given the way you signed off on it, I'm going to assume that you trust me enough to not abuse your old name. That's also why I'm outside. Less likely to be overheard using it by my brothers. If that's okay with you. If it's not, feel free to tell me off for it the next time we meet. So, MC. *pauses again before lightly singing MC's name* Have I ever told you it's a pretty name? Saying it is comforting somehow. *clears his throat* Sorry. Like I said, I'm a bit drunk."

"Feeling more in control now. Might still ramble a bit, but hopefully not as much as before. *takes a deep breath* The first time I read your note, I ended up crying. Not because you said something wrong, but because it was...sweet? Is that the word I'm looking for? *briefly pauses as a gust of wind gets picked up on the mic* It'll have to do for now, I guess. Anyway...it's interesting how you and Diavolo said more or less the same thing, and yet I'm more inclined to listen to you than I am to him. Perhaps it's the difference in tone? I could definitely tell that he was getting frustrated with me towards the end of our phone call. I know there's a part of him that sees me as a really shiny toy, one that he's quite territorial over. If I were to leave his side, he'd throw a massive fit, I'd imagine, and he might start a war over it. Which is silly. I'm not worth fighting over. *pauses* And yet everyone seems to for some reason. It's like I cause people to lose their minds. I don't know if it's due to the amount of titles and prestige I've had or my physical appearance or something else entirely, but they seem to all go into hysteria after spending any significant amount of time with me. Except for you, MC. You don't care about Lucifer Morningstar, former Lightbringer, Avatar of Pride, yadda yadda yadda. You simply see me as me, if that makes sense. You want to make sure that I'm okay, and you don't expect anything in return. It's a way of repaying back the kindness bestowed upon you in your situation, I suppose. And it'd be cruel of me to ignore all of that and still plunge to my death. So I'm staying. *pauses* You're right. This does feel weird. You better make good on your promise, MC, or I may end up changing my mind again. *chuckles* Don't take that last part too seriously. I'm merely messing with you a bit."

"You know, I wonder what my brothers are thinking about this...offer being made to us. I already know Mammon and Beel would stay, and Belphie's going to do whatever Beel does, but I'm not sure about Levi and Asmo. I mean, you were there when Asmo was yelling at me about leaving the Celestial Realm. Do you think he's eagerly packing his bags as we speak, or--"

A Few Hours Later

"Sorry about the abrupt ending of my last message. Mammon caught me on the rooftop. We ended up talking for a while. *pauses* The two of us have an interesting relationship. Kinda similar to the one I have with Satan. Mammon's sort of my brother and sort of my son, except he didn't spring out of me like Satan did. He's the first angel I felt the need to protect. Everyone else was prepared to throw him away, even though he was merely a child. I couldn't sit back and let them treat him like that, especially not after I held him in my arms as he was crying. He was around the Chihuahua's age when that happened. *clears his throat* I apologize. I know you don't like me calling Luke a chihuahua. I really am trying not to. *pauses* So yeah. Satan's technically the third oldest, since he came into existence in my mind shortly after I took Mammon under my wing. Levi came into the picture when Mammon was a teenager, and the others when he was just becoming a fully-grown angel. *pauses again* It was actually Mammon that insisted that we take care of them, and he was so earnest about it that I couldn't say no. I mean, the fact that he was willing to do for others what I've done for him...I was quite proud of him. Still am, even though he insists on putting on a persona these days. I know deep down, he still cares about everyone. *pauses yet again* Is it weird that I feel comfortable sharing all of this with you, MC? It might be the alcohol still affecting me, but somehow I don't think it is. I...I think I've come to trust you. Completely. I haven't even gotten there with Diavolo yet, and I've known him a lot longer. *chuckles* You truly are special, little lamb. *silence* Shit. That wasn't supposed to be said out loud. I better go before I start calling you more silly nicknames. Good night, MC."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix

[brucewaynehater101]

hii i just wanted to ask about the accuracy of the statement of "Talia abducted Jason during when he was arguably at his most vulnerable cuz catatonic and took advantage of his state (+no Bats knowing Jason came back to life) to indebt him to her and a cult + groom him to be a tool for whatever goal she had in mind" or if it's fanon and your opinions on this idea (+ actual canon if this statement is in fact fanon)

but just like how we play with the scale of good parent, bad parent Bruce we could also fuck around and do so much with this concept (fanon or not)

Hi! I'm not as familiar with this, so let's do the research together ^^ It's gonna be a long post!

I've heard many many many people curse out a few writers (I'm shitty at remembering names) for being a racist pieces of shit. I've also heard of Talia being thrown under the bus by a lot of writers. Here's a link to a wonderful Tumblr post that goes into Talia and how writers fucked over her character.

There's other posts, but this one quickly summaries what they did to Talia and briefly mentions the assassination of Ra's character as well.

Here's a post that goes further into Ra's character.

On that note, I have seen a few fics play around with two ideas that were (as far as I'm aware) retconned: Damian's conception being unconsensual and Talia having sexual relations with Jason.

As long as you keep in mind that these were retconned and come from racist, sexist, or both connotations, it's okay to explore the impact these actions would have on all characters involved (especially if we're utilizing the reasoning that Talia wasn't in her right mind during those actions).

That's a basic summary of why there's heavy debate around Talia and the al Ghuls as a whole.

Now! Let's get into Talia and Jason specifically!!!!

The comic run we want to look into is Red Hood - The Lost Days. I am unsure if there are any other comics that cover post-death Jason but pre-Red Hood. If anyone has any other canon material that covers or mentions this time period, feel free to comment, reblog, etc.

This is Talia's initial reaction to hearing about Jason:

She expresses concern, worry, and grief for Bruce

She then has spies give her updates on Bruce's situation. Everyone else states Bruce is "stepping up his game." She calls them fools (since Bruce is obviously just hurting)

Very quickly, we get into her discovery of Jason Todd:

So. Jason's catatonic and Talia was ordered not to inform Bruce. Regardless of if she wanted to, she would be betraying her father if she told Bruce

Then I'm just going to drop all of these panels:

This shows she somewhat cares about him. Whether that's for Jason or because of Bruce, that's irrelevant. She still cares and wants him to get better. She wants him to go home.

Talia only pushes Jason into the Lazarus Pits because she's run out of time

Now... she may be an unreliable narrator. She states she's doing this for Jason's sake, but it does seem like it's more for her own. Regardless, she doesn't have ill intentions.

Talia dips Jason in the Pits and then tosses him out

That line of hers seems suspicious, but I see it more as her trying to hide the fact she had Jason for so long. It's less "go be mad at Bruce" and more "gods, what is Bruce gonna think of me if Jason shows up on his doorstep?"" Selfish, but not in the way fanon characterizes it.

She had trackers on the bag, though. She just needed him away from Ra's

Ra's tells Talia she fucked up, Jason tries to blow up the batmobile, and then tries to tell Talia he didn't lose his nerve for revenge against Bruce

Talia realizes that reviving Jason with the Pit might have fucked Jason up

Jason asks Talia for her help with revenge against Bruce. Talia did not set that up. Jason was the one to suggest it without influence

Talia obviously does not want to be helping Jason right now. She still agrees, though

Let me just toss this here too:

So... She's not doing this completely because she cares about Jason or that it's the right thing, but she also sure as hell does not want Jason to be going down this revenge path

Despite all of this, there's this:

They then proceed to fuck.

Which is gross as hell, and how some people can say that she took advantage of him

I think them fucking got retconned, though....

So, it's slightly complicated?

In my personal opinion, the final answer is: "It is fanon!"

There may be some truth or canon behind it, but that most likely comes from more racist characterizations of her character. However, the canon material that explicitly covers this topic makes it clear:

"Talia was selfish with her help to Jason. She wants Bruce to love her. She thus ends up hiding Jason's existence out of fear of Bruce's reaction. She does not want Jason to be mad at Bruce or fight his dad."

This also matches the other characterization I've seen of this: "Talia uses the distraction technique to try to hold Jason back from murdering his own father. 'You can't murder Bruce without training, Jason.'"

To continue, whether Talia should've told Bruce or not is an entirely different matter. Sometimes, I've avoided telling people shit out of fear, which made the situations worse. It wasn't great of her to do that, but in no way should this villainze her. I also 100% love that this gives her a flaw. People make mistakes. She's trying. She may have gone about it poorly, but she did what she thought she could. It was selfish, but I don't blame her.

She could've also convinced Jason to give up his mission entirely right before they fucked. That's where it gets murky.

You are absolutely correct that we can use the fanon idea of the al Ghuls manipulating Jason. On the other hand, I haven't seen enough fics where Talia treats Jason like an unruly toddler instead.

"No, Jason. We can't murder Bruce. Obviously, you need training first." Her visible reaction is a motherly rolling eyes. Internally, she's just panicking ("fuck fuck fuck fuck. How do I curb bloodlust? How do I stop patricide? Procrastination!!!")

Anyways, thanks for bringing the question up! It allowed me to look into it and put my thoughts in order ^^

Feel free to read the rest of the run!

[artiststarme]

I've seen a few people talking about how cool a hellfire 'adopting' steve fic would be and since youre my favorite steddie writer I immediately thought of you. If you want to, I think you'd write that situation really well

Thank you! I'm really glad that you like reading my fics and I hope this meets your expectations!

~*~*~*~

​​Eddie was long in the business of collecting lost sheep. He himself knew what it was like to be alone, to be ostracized and isolated for being a little bit too different in a town as bland as Hawkins. So whenever he could, he tried to help people. He looked for those that needed support the most and tried to befriend them because he knew what it was like to go through life without it. If he could be the shepherd needed to guide the lost sheep, he would. 

In the late fall of Eddie’s senior year, something happened that no one could have predicted, an event so shocking that it shook the entire town. All of Hawkins was in a state of surprise, and all of the students at the high school were rattled. Steve Harrington had lost his title of King. He went from having throes of close friends and confidants at the top of the social hierarchy to having no one and resting at the bottom. 

Eddie didn’t know what had happened over a single weekend to make King Steve lose everything but when he saw him sitting all alone at one of the empty tables in the corner at lunch, exiled by his peers and poking at his food, Eddie felt compelled to step in. 

He stood up from his seat at the head of the Freak table with his eyes still on Steve. He took one step before a hand grabbed his arm and stopped him in his tracks. 

“What are you doing?” Gareth hissed at him, trying to plant him back in his seat. 

“I’m going to go talk to Steve.”

“Harrington? What the hell is the matter with you? Are you insane? He was bullying us just last week!” Grant whisper-yelled at him. 

“Okay, no he wasn’t,” Eddie defended. “He didn’t say anything and he told Tommy H to leave us alone when he was messing with us.”

That didn’t seem to help his case as much as he thought it would and he sighed. “Look guys, something obviously happened to him since he’s sitting there alone and picking at a bag of peanuts while all of his old friends are ignoring him and enjoying their lunches. We don’t judge here and we don’t know Steve enough to form an accurate opinion. So, I’m going to go get him and you’re all going to be nice. I have a feeling he needs that right now.”

His friends blinked at him wordlessly and he nodded. “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I’m going to go get him.”

And with that, he stalked over to the fallen king with the entire student body glaring at him in appall. He stopped just short of Steve’s chair and flashed his biggest grin at him. Upon seeing Steve’s concern however, he muted his grin into something less ‘I’m a maniac’ and more ‘you should be my friend’. 

“Hey Harrington, how are you today?” Eddie asked him. 

Steve just blinked up at him for a moment. His eye was bruised and his cheekbone was bloody. He looked like utter shit and that was saying something coming from Eddie. 

“Um, I’m alright. How are you?”

Eddie’s smile brightened, “I’m great! How are you?”

“Still alright? Can I help you with something?” Steve asked him in confusion. 

“Yes, I saw you over here by your lonesome and decided to sequester you to my table instead. Your former court doesn’t deserve to feast on the sight of your suffering.” Eddie may have gone a little bit overboard on that one. 

Steve squinted at him. “Dude, I might still have a concussion but that didn’t make any sense at all.”

“You have a concussion?” Eddie asked in concern.

“Um, yeah. Byers has a mean right hook. He’s tougher than people give him credit for, I guess.”

“Byers? Like Jonathan Byers?” Eddie’s eyes widened. What the fuck had he done to piss of Jonathan ‘The Wallflower’ Byers?

“No, his little brother Will. Yes, Jonathan Byers,” Steve snarked sassily. 

“Jesus Christ, I did not know he had it in him. He looks more like a lover than a fighter, you know?”

“Not really?” Steve shook his head slightly. 

“Anyways, I feel like we’ve bonded. So since we’re friends now, do you want to come sit at my table? We hoard chocolate pudding, gossip about the popular kids, and play the amazing fantasy game that Christian mothers everywhere like to hate. You in?”

Steve watched him for a moment before biting his lip in thought. “How much chocolate pudding are we talking?”

“Tons. Grant’s mom is the lunch lady so we have a near endless supply and an ally on the dark side. We also get extra apple juice and all of the carrots one could ever want. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” That was a bit of an over-exaggeration considering Grant had to steal her work key to get them the food but it was still kind of true. 

Steve grabbed his bag of chex mix and his backpack and stood toe to toe with Eddie. “Now that’s an offer that I can’t refuse. Lead the way, Munson.”

Eddie smiled, he’d added another lost sheep to his herd. “After me, Harrington!”

They both stalked across the now-silent lunch room back to his table. Jeff, Gareth, and Grant were looking up at the two of them in surprise like they hadn’t expected his amazing personality to win over Steve Harrington. 

“Alright, this is Jeff, Gareth, and Grant. Boys, this is Steve. Steve-O, take a seat!” Eddie announced boisterously. He pushed Gareth off his chair and motioned for Steve to take it. “Oh, look! An empty chair right next to my seat! Steve, you can sit right here!”

He saw Steve give a sympathetic look to Gareth but he sat down regardless. Eddie planted a cup of chocolate pudding right in front of him and smiled deviously. “Now Steve, what do you know about Dungeons & Dragons?”

“Um, I know that the kids I babysit like to play it and it’s some sort of storytelling game with lots of math?” he muttered.

Eddie just gasped along with the rest of Hellfire. “‘Some sort of storytelling game’? That’s the worst possible way you could’ve described it, Harrington! It’s not a game, it’s an experience!”

All three of the guys defended it at once.

“I can’t believe he just said that!”

“Lots of math? It’s a reasonable amount!”

“Next he’s going to say he doesn’t know what a dungeon master is!”

“Oh is that some sort of dice?” Steve asked them in confusion. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” one of the guys muttered.

“No, I’m the Dungeon Master. I tell-” Eddie tried to explain. 

“Sounds kinky.”

“What the fuck-” Eddie yelled. Looking at the smile on Steve’s face, he knew that bringing him into Hellfire's fold was a good idea. He was a little concerned at just how easy he was riling up the guys but he had a good feeling about this sheep. Very good, indeed.

(Eddie starts dating him two weeks later after Steve lets it slip that he knows what a paladin is. How is Eddie not supposed to kiss him when he made his way to his little nerd heart?)

[pablitogavii]

Care

Summary: Before Pablo, you were in a toxic and abusive relationship so when you two play fight, you flinch and Pablo notices immediately reminding you that he would always take care of you <33

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Reader

Warnings: slight angst/ fluffy <3

"Amor! Give me the remote!" Pablo was trying to grab the remote from your hand repeatedly to play some boring football game but you were watching your favorite Telenovela.

"Not a chance! I need to see if Juan Carlos marries Ana in this episode!" you say hiding it behind your back with your eyes glued to the screen.

"Bebé sometimes I think you love Juan Carlos more than me!" Pablo whined and you chuckled at how easily your Sevillano gets jealous, even of fictional characters.

"I do have a particular weakness for Spaniards.." you start earning a glare from your boyfriend "but I also tend to fall for angry Barça midfielders" you finished earning a smirk as he moved to sit closer.

"Lindaaa" he rubbed his nose against yours and you blushed closing your eyes waiting for the kiss but instead he grabbed the remote from your hand switching the channel.

"Pablo!!" you whine this time you trying to steal a remote from his hands while straddling his lap making smirk but still keep the remote out of your reach.

"Give it back Gavira!!" you said while he chuckled whenever you would use his full name when you get angry.

"Try and get it nena" Pablo challenged with a smirk and you pouted trying to think how to win against him knowing how much stronger he was that you. Then you came up with an idea! Tickle war! He might me toned and muscular but he is ticklish like a baby!

When you started tickling him he started to move around bringing his hand forwards to stop you but that movement made you flinch instinctively which made him stop completely shocked that you just did that.

"Amor? Hey, you okay? I was just going to grab your hand..I would never actually hurt you..why did you flinch?" Pablo felt horrible seeing your eyes fill with years. You weren't upset at him or what he did knowing that Pablo would never lay a finger at you like that, but hating the fact that after so many years it was still affecting you.

"Um..I should..I should go..I'm sorry" you got off his lap feeling horrible that you couldn't still get over what happened to you in the past not wanting to bother Pablo with it.

"No..no..no..por favor..don't leave...I can't handle you being afraid of me..I..would never hurt you.." Pablo stood up as well careful to keep his distance as to not make you flinch again and you appreciated it very much. Not many people knew how to properly handle you in these kinds of situations.

"I'm not afraid of you cariño..it was just..um..an instinct" you admitted playing with the edge of your shirt while looking down at the floor sadly. You didn't want Pablo to think you are damaged so you haven't told him anything in the past few months that you were dating.

"Can I..hold you amorcito? Please?" Pablo asked not wanting to invade your personal space until he knew that's what you wanted and you nodded smiling as his arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you to sit back down on the couch in between his legs rested against his toned chest.

"Tell your Pablito linda..I need to know about this" Pablo said and you sighed nodding your head knowing that he was right.

"My ex hit me one time..and ever since then I flinch when someone's hand moves towards my face..I'm sorry" you say feeling even more guilty now that you said it aloud.

"You have nothing to be sorry for nena..How could someone do something like that to you? You are the sweetest most precious girl I have ever met in my life..I'm so sorry mi anjo" his hand was in your hair as he stroked it gently while your head rested on his chest and you were focused on his heartbeat while tears spilled out your eyelids and down your cheeks.

"He was very jealous..wouldn't let me go out with my friends..and that nigh I went behind his back and he got very angry..." you said and Pablo kissed the top of your head as you looked up shattering his heart when he saw your tearful eyes sparkling sadly up at him.

"Is that why you asked me if you could wear that dress when we went out with Frankie and Mikky?" Pablo said and you nodded feeling little embarrassed but the way he asked felt judgement free and you were comfortable to be honest with him.

"I want you to listen to me now princesa. In this relationship, you can wear whatever you like, you can go out with your friends, you don't have to feel like you have to ask me what you are allowed to do..I trust you..and I love you..and I know you love me..and I will make sure not to do things that might trigger you to flinch and bring back those horrible memories now that I know about it.." Pablo speaking softly while caressing your face made your tears fall faster from how comforting his words were and how safe you finally felt with a man.

"I love you so much Pablo..thank you" you nuzzled into his neck counting to softly cry while he kissed the top of your head lovingly moving his hand softly up and down your back soothingly.

"I love you too nena..you are my special girl..and I want you to feel safe when your are with me" Pablo spoke and you looked up pecking his lips softly to which he smiled.

"I do feel safe..and I should have told you earlier. I just didn't want you to think I was demanded.." you admit and he kissed your nose and then your forehead.

"We are all a little damaged nena, that's because we are human..but this doesn't make you any less perfect in my eyes I promise..if anything I think you are so brave" Pablo said drying your tears while you cuddled up to him closer smiling to yourself.

He changed the channel back to your Telenovela sitting there watching it with you for the rest of the night while holding and kissing you from time to time just to assure you that he is still right there next to you..<3

Short but very important story for me..hope you like it <3

[ceasarslegion]

Please tell me about the guy in your college dorm who got scurvy, I love a good modern day scurvy story. Like bro, have a delightful lemon-parm chicken

So in uni I lived in a co-ed dorm building where we had single-person rooms and shared a common room, washrooms/showers, laundry, and a kitchen. We also had a dining hall that we could purchase meal plans from (which i also had all 4 years, because i juggled full time school and 2 jobs at the same time. I did NOT have the time to cook for myself and I would not have done so in that kitchen to be frank). The building was split up into a bunch of different houses which we took personality quizzes to get assigned to in order to limit the amount of conflicts that would happen in this living situation. I was put in the smallest house (there were only 20 of us) and it was full of real chill like-minded people who liked to watch movies with me. This guy was the next door away from me, but wasn't my immediate next door neighbour because the stairwell broke up our house down the middle.

He was the house shut-in. He didn't really join any of the hang outs in the common room, or go out clubbing with us, he just kinda shut himself in his dorm room and never came out. Eventually we stopped slipping invitations to things under his door like we did with everyone else because there was no point. But I saw him in the dining hall and I saw him swiping a meal card a few times so I knew he was on the meal plan, meaning i KNEW he had access to fruit and veggies and even just like, juice. The food wasn't good but you had all the opportunities in the world to make it good FOR you, if that makes sense.

One of my jobs at this point was as an overnight security guard for an apartment building. I would come back around 4am and then crash out until 11 or 12 and then go to my afternoon and night classes. This is relevant because I was coming back into the building after a shift once in full uniform while he was sitting on the front steps and looking like he was hungover to the point of near-unconsciousness. I ask if he's feeling okay, if he needs anything, he waves me off and says he just needs some air. I'm like okay well, you know which doors mine if you change your mind bud.

He was an enigma who never spoke to us so I waved the situation off as too much college partying or something.

Over the next few days this becomes a common sight among everyone, who says they would also come back from their part time jobs or outings to him nearly passed out on a courtyard bench or something, a few people said they heard someone throwing up in our floor's shared bathroom.

About a week later I come back from my shift as usual and crash in bed until noon, expecting to wake up and go to my classes as usual. I grab my school bag and throw my regular coat and boots on and walk to class. I liked to sit in the back of that lecture hall because that prof had a rule that you were allowed to eat in his class as long as you sat in the last 3 rows, so I'd bring my breakfast and coffee in one of the dining hall to go boxes. I did not end up eating my breakfast or drinking my coffee.

In fact I did not make any notes on my laptop.

In fact, the house discord server blew up while I was asleep.

This guy, this fucking guy, had gone to our don (RA, basically) and told her he needed to go to the ER and then passed out on her couch. She doesn't have a car because none of us did, so everyone who was there and awake ended up dragging him to the closest hospital that was a few blocks away from campus on foot. Why they did not call an ambulance or at least an Uber is beyond me, but panic does weird things to people.

Reading through this in the corner of my eye before class starts, I have forgotten about class entirely. I have forgotten about my breakfast and my coffee. A few people were asking if they should ask for the don's master key and wake me up, thinking that i might have training in these things from what my job was (i did), and then others shut them down saying "no, let him sleep. He gets home at 4:30 in the morning" (WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP I WOULDNT HAVE CARED IF YOU SAID SOMEONE WAS HAVING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. I COULDVE AT LEAST KEPT YOU ALL CALM AND DELEGATED TASKS)

I send a message in just saying "guys I'm up now what is going on" with an @everyone attached.

Instantly get "several people are typing." That's never a good sign.

So this guy was in the ER for hours getting IV-fed. Because he had scurvy. And they had to vitamin C infuse him. Because he hadn't eaten a single fruit or vegetable or anything derived from a plant the entire school year. He got SCURVY. IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2019.

Bro eat a fruit. EVER?? But he just didn't. He just never did. He had fucking scurvy. He passed out and had bleeding gums and his teeth almost fell out. Because he had scurvy.

He did not come back the next school year because his parents pulled him out of the dorms on the basis that he couldn't be trusted to take care of himself after that incident. And I do not blame them at all. Ma'am your kid can't be trusted to eat one (1) orange all year.