#to the few people i told about the situation: i'm okay but i might need to rant some more and it might get heavy
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This week's 9-1-1 ("Recover") hit me really hard, in a way that it wouldn't have hit me if not for very precise circumstances.
I'm not gonna get into details, but recent family matters have brought back to the front the fragility and the beauty of life, and both Buck's brush with death and Bobby's recovery path are so very personal and relatable and important to remember. Life is hard, life hurts, but life is also formidable and can offer you so much beauty and happiness. If you let it. If you reach out to others when you feel like you're drowning. If you take the first steps, people who care, the good ones, will be here to grab your hands and walk the rest of the way with you.
Don't let your hurt fester in your mind and your veins like a poison. And don't for a moment think that you being alive is in vain, is a burden, doesn't matter. Whoever you are, the simple fact that you exist is beauty in and of itself, and there are and will be people who love you and want your company. If you don't feel strong enough to keep yourself from hurting yourself (using, self-harm, suicide), please try and remember that there are those who love you and want to live in this world with you. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for them, because it's not just you you're hurting, it's them too. And if you love them, you don't want to hurt them, the same way that if they love you, they don't want to see you hurt.
And if anyone needs to talk, I don't know ho much I can help you, but I've always been told I'm a good listener, so I can do that. I can listen. Message me, DM or ask, anon or not, I'll listen.
#9-1-1#911fox#911 fox spoilers#911 spoilers#evan buck buckely#bobby nash#recovery#no trigger warnings because i want people to see that post and remember to reach out (to me or their support system)#and aman if you're here if you stalk my tumblr the way i've started stalking your reddit: i'm here. please talk to me. please.#sorry it's been a hard week for my family and i wasn't expecting this episode to hit so hard#to the few people i told about the situation: i'm okay but i might need to rant some more and it might get heavy
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Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you
For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.
One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.
The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.
Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.
"Are you okay?"
This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.
"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."
This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.
"Can you explain what you mean by that?"
Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.
If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.
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DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS
Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!
GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.
Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).
Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.
That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD
... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)
no comment here I just love them.
I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3
This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)
I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.
Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.
(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)
BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL
1) Yep, they're back to normal.
2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.
3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.
4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!
5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3
I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.
IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?
"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)
I get it, girl.
Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.
(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)
Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"
Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.
(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)
FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.
oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm
I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!
Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.
I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)
... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.
BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)
Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi of izganda#chilchuck tims#izutsumi#falin touden#chilchuck's wife#probably#namari of kahka brud#toshiro nakamoto#kabru of utaya#leed dungeon meshi#zon dungeon meshi#mithrun of the house of kerensil#pattadol of the house of vari#cithis ofri#fleki#lycion#looooook i don't know that much about the canaries but man.#lycion joins the ranks alongside laios and zon in men that i need to pin#both as in pin down and pin like a bug.#well. zon is just the first of those two. hes rather well adjusted#but anyhow#(actually that's a LIE. i went on the wiki to look up the canaries' last names to tag this properly and apparently like#nvm i'll make a separate post to keep this one spoiler free)
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Resensitized | Eddie Munson x Reader
Summary: You need a place to move in, and your new friend has a spare room. Turns out, he's a porn star, and now you can't stop thinking about him. What ever will you do?
Part 2 here and part 3 here :)
Word Count: 7.6K
Warnings: MINORS DNI PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING, smut, Pornstar!Eddie x fem reader (no defining characteristics or use of y/n), modern day, friends to lovers...kind of? Fingering, oral (fem receiving), protected p in v, the knee thing™️, Eddie is a soft dom but also a simp, reader is his exception, and they were roommates(!)
A/N: I'm baaaaack! I was randomly inspired by this concept and couldn't stop thinking about it until it was done. Please know I wrote this with as much respect to sex work as I could, but there might be some inaccuracies just because I'm not too familiar with the industry nowadays. Until next time! xx
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You met Eddie at a party. He was a friend of a friend’s plus one, so he didn’t really know anybody, and you noticed nobody was talking to him, so you went over there and struck up a conversation.
Eddie was sweet. Eddie was goofy. Eddie was a little rough around the edges, but ultimately gave you good vibes. You ended up talking to him for quite a while, and when the night came to an end, you realized you didn’t want to stop talking to him.
It wasn’t, like, a crush thing - although, he was handsome and definitely crush material - it was more that it was hard making friends as an adult, and you liked being around him. So many times, you’d met people and left them just as fast, and you didn’t want that to happen with Eddie.
You gave him your Instagram, which he followed, and then you requested to follow him back, which he accepted.
You didn’t talk much for a month or two. He didn’t really post anything, but would comment or react to your posts and stories. Most often, you complained about your living situation - your landlord and your roommates were awful, and eventually your lease came to an end. You jokingly posted - “who’s gonna help me find a new apartment?”
Eddie replied - I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I might be able to help.
It turned out that Eddie had a room vacant in his two-bedroom apartment. The idea seemed kind of out there at first, but you realized it wasn’t much different than searching for roommates online. Besides, this was safer, since you knew Eddie already, and you couldn’t afford an apartment by yourself, so…
You went over to look at his place, and holy shit. It was incredible there. Clean, although slightly cluttered with his various belongings - movie posters, music, video games, and the like. Also, the rent he was asking for was absurdly low. It felt like a no-brainer.
“Eddie, this is - I mean, this is perfect,” you told him. He grinned.
“Okay,” he said with a nod. “Uhh, there’s just one thing I feel like I should tell you before you move in.”
“What is it?” you asked. Suddenly, you saw Eddie get nervous, and you couldn’t possibly predict what would warrant that reaction. He took a deep breath.
“Maybe you already know, but it feels like you don’t know? So I just - ugh. If you don’t know, I think I gotta tell you.” You stared at him, confused.
“Eddie, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”
He smirked slightly, then sighed as his hands fell to his sides.
“I…do…porn?” he said at last. You stared at him blankly as you processed this.
“I’m gonna need you to elaborate,” you replied. “Like OnlyFans?”
“Sometimes,” he answered. “Look, I - I’ve done it for a few years, and I guess I’m kinda popular. It’s why a lot of the time, people stay away from me, because it puts them off. Or, they’re embarrassed about recognizing me, which I guess I understand. But anyway, that’s why I was surprised you never said anything or asked me about it. Judging by your reaction, I’m guessing you had no idea.”
Huh.
“I…really didn’t.”
It wasn’t that you were judging him - not at all - but living with someone who did that sort of thing brought up all kinds of questions. Eddie’s anxiety returned.
“Ah, shit. That ruined everything, didn’t it?” He ran his hands through his hair. “I just - It’s how I make money, but it’s not my whole life or anything. But I felt like you should at least know about it if you were gonna live with me.”
“Do you do any of it here?” you asked. Eddie shrugged.
“Sometimes.”
You nodded slowly.
“Like, in the living room or just your room?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to assess how you felt through your line of questioning.
“Uhh - my room. I mean, I guess there was one time on the couch, but for the record I’ve gotten a new couch since then. Oh, and if you move in and don’t want me filming anything here, I won’t. Not even solo stuff. Shit. Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, I just have a pretty casual view on sex and I kind of forget that not everybody -”
“I think I’m okay with this,” you decided.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” You looked around the beautiful apartment that would save you a crap ton of money, and you realized you couldn't pass this up. Besides, you weren’t a prude. “My last roommates had loud sex all the time, and our walls were so thin it felt like I was intruding, somehow.” Eddie laughed, his anxiety easing slightly. “Plus, I don’t care what you do. I bet it’s good money. As long as I’m not in any of the videos, we’re good to go.”
“Wow,” he responded, stunned. “I honestly didn’t expect you to be so cool about it.” You shrugged.
“Just don’t eat my food and we should be fine,” you concluded.
“Deal,” he replied. You shook his hand, and thus began your time as Eddie Munson’s roommate.
-
Ohhhh, this was a mistake.
Living with Eddie was a total breeze for the first two months. He was respectful and didn’t talk about work at all unless you asked him about it, which you didn’t. You both were pretty busy people so you didn’t even see each other that often.
But then, two months in, you got curious and watched one of his videos.
Holy. Shit.
First of all, you couldn’t believe you’d never stumbled across him before in your searches, because he was, like, really popular. He’d undersold himself, for sure. Although, you didn’t watch porn that often (you preferred reading it or listening to it), because usually there was something off about it. Like, the women felt like they were acting, or they weren’t even trying to hide that they were acting and were really bad at it, or the dirty talk was weird, etc etc.
Eddie’s videos were not like that.
(Yeah, after the first one you watched a few more).
Look, the man knew what he was doing. He had chemistry with everyone, and something about it was captivating. It’s not like you were getting off to them - that would have been weird - but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you the fuck on.
He hadn’t been lying either about the locations. None of the videos you’d watched were recorded at the apartment.
You weren’t sure if you would have cared if they had been, though. Like, as long as any shared furniture was cleaned after, it wasn’t a huge deal, right? Pretty much every couch anywhere you go has been used for sex at some point. So, this wasn’t much different.
Anyway, watching Eddie’s videos had been a mistake, because now when you saw him in the morning, pouring himself a cup of coffee in his robe, you knew what he looked like naked.
Fuck.
“Morning,” he said casually. “Want some?” You nodded, and then he took another mug from the cupboard and poured coffee into it for you. When you went to the kitchen counter to grab it from him, his knuckles brushed yours, and you jumped a little at the touch. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. You went to the fridge and took the creamer from the shelf, then topped off your coffee with it.
“How’d you sleep?” you asked.
“Good,” he replied. “Oh, so I’m going to the grocery store in a bit. You need anything?” You took a sip of your coffee before answering.
“Uhhh, yeah, but I was actually planning on going myself,” you said.
“We could go together,” he suggested.
You took another sip of coffee as a way to stall, even though it was too hot. You had no reason from his perspective to say no - the two of you had gone on errands together a few times, and it had been fine. Besides, you legitimately had to go to the grocery store, so if you said no and went later it would just look suspicious.
”Sounds good,” you agreed with a smile. He smiled back, then nodded.
“Great, just let me know when you’re ready.”
You finished your coffee in your room, because being around him was making you nervous. It was so dumb, feeling this way. Nothing had changed. You were the same people you’d been yesterday. Watching that video was an incredibly poor choice, but at the same time, how were you supposed to refrain? You lived with a guy who was famous for getting women off. You wondered how you hadn’t known any of this when you’d first met him, but then pieces came together. The reason he was alone at the party. Why his Instagram was private. Why he didn’t have a roommate.
When you agreed to move in, you promised yourself you wouldn’t be weird about it, and now here you were, hiding in your room because you were too awkward to maintain small talk with your roommate.
Eventually, you got dressed and psyched yourself up for what was to come. You just had to get those videos out of your mind, that’s all.
Easy enough, right?
Wrong!
“Did you listen to the song I sent you yesterday?” he asked as you walked to the car.
“Uh, no, not yet,” you replied. He clutched his heart as if you had broken it, then laughed.
“Okay, well then I guess I know what we’re listening to on the way.”
Once again, all of this should have been easy like it always was. But you couldn’t stop staring at his hands on the steering wheel, the rings on his fingers, and - God forbid - his lips. And his eyes? Forget it.
“Good song,” you said, staring straight ahead at the road.
“Of course it is, I picked it out,” he teased. You saw him glance at you in your peripheral vision. “Everything okay? You’re quiet today.”
“Everything’s fine,” you blurted out, maybe too quickly to be convincing.
“Ooookay,” he responded. “Well, I don’t believe you, but you can keep your secrets.”
You remained slightly awkward and flustered around him, particularly any time he touched you. He’d tap you on the shoulder to get your attention, or reach across you to grab a bunch of bananas that you were standing in front of, and it came to a point where you told him you had to go off on your own to grab something just because you knew you were totally giving yourself away. But after a few more minutes to yourself in the chips aisle, you felt relatively normal again.
Disaster only really struck on the way home.
“So, this tattoo place on the right,” he said. “That’s where I usually go. The guy who works there is incredible. His designs are sick as hell.”
“How many do you have?” you asked. He scrunched his eyebrows as he thought about it.
“I guess it depends on what you’d count as one,” he replied. “Like, I have almost a half-sleeve on my right arm, but I didn’t get it all done at once.”
“Count them however you’d like.” He thought about it some more, then shrugged.
“I have a lot of them, and I always want more.”
“I’ve heard it’s addictive,” you replied. “So, what would you get next?”
“I’m thinking about adding to the one on my thigh,” he answered.
“The witch?” you asked. He raised his eyebrows. The tattoo on his thigh was pretty iconic, actually. It was a woman on a broomstick with her tits out. Not something you would ever personally get, but Eddie pulled it off. “Are you going to give her a friend? Or a bra?”
Eddie snorted laughing, then covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle it. It didn’t work, and he burst into laughter again.
“Come on, my joke wasn’t that funny,” you said, rolling your eyes. Eddie’s laughter finally faded enough for him to explain.
“I never told you what the tattoo was,” he informed you. Your eyes widened as you realized your mistake.
“I - um -”
“That’s what’s going on! You looked me up!” he exclaimed. Despite your absolute humiliation, he seemed to only find it amusing. “Don’t get all shy about it. It’s fine. I’m honestly impressed you held out this long.”
“Can we not talk about it?” you asked, trying to awkwardly laugh with him but mostly wishing you were six feet underground.
“Whatever you want, roomie,” he replied with a grin. “I’m just glad I didn’t do anything wrong.” You bit your lip, then released it.
“No, you did pretty much everything exactly right,” you responded, deciding to lean into the awkward situation. Eddie licked his lips and smirked.
“Good to hear,” he said, smug. He pulled into your apartment complex, parked the car, and took the keys from the ignition. You felt like you couldn’t breathe in there, so you rushed out of the car and made a beeline for your front door as soon as you were able. He caught up as you worked the lock open, and you could feel his eyes on your shaking hands. “You know, you’re cute when you blush,” he said.
The door unlocked and you pushed it open, but it’s not like the apartment you shared with him was going to be any less charged. You tried to continue acting less nervous than you were.
“Oh, you’re flirting with me now?” you teased, leaving your keys on the counter. His voice continued behind you.
“I flirt with everyone,” he said. “Sorry, I’ll reel it in. Just, we were talking about -”
“No, I know,” you interrupted. You turned around, deciding to face this situation head on, since you were already knee-deep in it anyway. “Okay, let’s talk about it.” He raised his eyebrows at you.
“About what I do?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Alright. What do you wanna know?”
You took a deep breath and asked something that you’d been wondering for the last two months.
“Is it weird, knowing that most people you know have seen you naked?”
Eddie didn’t seem fazed by the question in the slightest - not that you expected him to be. He shrugged.
“I like the way I look,” he replied. “It actually doesn’t bother me at all.” You clicked your tongue to your teeth and asked another question.
“Does anything about it bother you?” To your surprise, he took the question seriously, taking his time as he came up with a response.
“It definitely feels like I live in a different world a lot of the time,” he answered. “Like, I go to work, I meet the person I’m supposed to fuck, and then I do whatever I gotta do to get them off. That’s all it is, really. After a while, it just feels like going through the motions. The excitement isn’t really there anymore. On the other hand, I make a shit ton of money to have sex with beautiful people, so…”
You tried to ignore the way the heat rose to your cheeks as he talked about work. From what you’d seen, it was clear that not one person had faked their enjoyment for him. Of course, it made you a little curious what it would be like, but not curious enough to do anything about it.
At least, not yet.
“You’ve never, like, caught feelings?” you asked. “Or maybe gotten coffee with one of them? Wait, do you ever have sex off camera?”
“Wooow, you’ve really been thinking about this, huh?” he teased, jumping up to sit on the counter beside you. Being next to him was starting to feel comfortable again, now that you were speaking freely. “Uhh, well for starters, I don’t have sex off-camera very often, honestly. My job doesn’t make it that easy to date. And yeah, I’ve met up with partners after if I feel like we’d get along, but I don’t know. It always feels more like friendship than anything else.” You cocked your head curiously.
“But you had sex with them,” you pointed out, confused.
“You’ve never fucked one of your friends before?” he asked. You shook your head. “Oh. Well, like I said, my perception of this kind of thing is a little skewed.”
You nodded slowly, then realized those were all of your main questions. Talking about it actually did make things a whole lot better.
“Thank you for being so open about it,” you told him.
“Thank you for sticking around,” he replied. “And seriously, you can ask me anything. Or, we can never talk about it again. Up to you.”
“Thanks,” you said with a smile. “I’ll let you know.”
He went off to do his thing and you did yours, and that was that. Things went back to normal again, more or less - at least for another week.
The problem was, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. When you were trying to sleep at night, your curiosity coursed through you to search his name again, and it became increasingly difficult not to succumb to it. You didn’t want to cross that line, though. It felt like a necessary boundary to have.
Instead, you did what you usually did. You read, you listened, you pictured things in your head.
Your mind always wandered to your roommate anyway.
One night, Eddie had left, and he was supposed to be gone until morning. You used it as an opportunity to walk around naked, watch romantic comedies on the couch, and listen to music he’d hate as loudly as you wanted. It was glorious.
You were in your room dancing in a t-shirt and underwear, and it was turning out to be an excellent night. Eventually, your friend called, so you chatted with her for a bit on speaker phone as you put away your laundry. Naturally, Eddie came up.
“Okay,” she said. “There’s a really simple solution here, and it’s to fuck your hot Sex-God of a roommate.” You rolled your eyes.
“That’s not simple, and it’s not a solution,” you replied. “And our relationship isn’t like that. I can’t believe you looked him up.”
“Of course I looked him up! One of us had to!” your friend shouted back. “And, can I just say - damn.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you responded with a sigh. “I’m just trying to be…respectful.”
“It sounds like he doesn’t care at all,” your friend noted. “But I get it, I guess. You’re a lot stronger than I’ll ever be.” You laughed.
“Thank you, I think I deserve a medal for going through this while also not having had sex in six months.”
“Absolutely,” your friend agreed. “Alright, girlie, I’m headed to bed. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
You hung up the phone and hung a few sweaters up in your closet, then walked into the kitchen to grab yourself a drink. The problem was, when you got there, you realized that Eddie had beat you to it.
“Want something?” he asked, bent over into the fridge.
“Fuck!” you yelled, jumping back. “What are you -? Why are you - ? When did you -?” Eddie laughed and grabbed two beers from the fridge, then closed the door and handed you one.
“Relax,” he said. “My plans fell through so I came home early. I like your pants, by the way.” You looked down at yourself to realize you weren’t wearing any. You chuckled, then pushed him away from you.
“Dick,” you said, cracking the can open. He did the same, and then you clinked your beers together before each taking a sip. “Thank god I’m wearing some clothes. I wasn’t a few hours ago.”
“That’s hot,” he teased.
“Shut up.” You turned to go back to your room so you could put real pajamas on, and were confused when he followed you in.
“Your friend has a point by the way,” Eddie said. You froze in your tracks, then pivoted to face him.
“What?” you asked, your stomach dropping to the floor. “Wait, how much of that conversation did you hear?”
“Uhhh, well I definitely heard that whole last part about me,” he replied. “Six months, by the way? I agree, you do deserve an award for that.”
Jesus Christ.
“Oh my God I have to move out,” you said. Eddie laughed, then pulled you closer to him by the wrist. You felt your breath hitch at being so close to him. Your eyes met his, and you immediately felt hypnotized.
“Listen,” he said, his grip on your wrist burning into your skin. “Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but six months is a long time, and I could help out if you wanted.”
“Eddie, are you seriously suggesting…?” The corner of his lip twitched up slightly.
“It wouldn’t mean anything, obviously. I just know you’re curious, and since you’re going through a dry spell or whatever I could be of service. And then it would be out of the way, and you could move on.”
You stared at him, having a million thoughts at once.
Yes, you wanted that very much. The thought of it alone was already making your core ache and throb for him. You knew he would blow your mind, and it had been so long…
Then again, you also knew it was a horrible idea. You both lived together, and having sex would complicate things. Most of all, you knew that - despite what he was saying - it would mean something, and you wouldn’t move on. He could, but you couldn’t. That’s not how it worked for you.
“I can’t,” you said. He nodded and dropped your hand.
“Alright,” he replied casually. “Then you should go fuck someone else so you stop thinking about me.”
“I’m not thinking about -”
“Good night,” he smirked.
He left your room, and you heard him walk to his own room and shut the door.
He was probably right. You needed to break your dry spell. So, you did what any sensible person would do and re-downloaded Tinder. By the following night, you’d found a suitable guy to hook up with.
You invited him to your apartment instead of going to his, because it felt safer. And Eddie unshockingly had no problems with it, so that wasn’t an issue. He said he was going to stay in his room and listen to music, and to just text him when you were done.
So…you did that.
The sex was bad. Like, remarkably bad. The man clearly had relied on his good looks and big dick and felt like that was enough. The worst part was that he thought he was nailing it the whole time. He was only over for about 45 minutes total, after which you told him you had to get to bed. He seemed disappointed, but also he’d just had sex so he wasn’t too bummed about it.
You texted Eddie, and within a few minutes you heard his door open and his footsteps approaching your room from down the hall.
“Damn, he’s gone already?” he teased, staring out the window to see your Tinder hook-up driving away. “That’s a shame. I wanted to meet the man that caused you to do the worst fake orgasm sounds I’ve ever heard.”
“Eddie!” you yelled, wrapping your robe tighter around yourself. “You said you wouldn’t listen!”
“I got curious! Sue me!” he shouted back. “Now we’re even. Curiosity got the best of both of us.”
You stared at him for a moment, then realized he was right. You sighed.
“Fine,” you said. “Thanks for recommending I do that, by the way. Now my body count is higher and my dignity is shattered.” Eddie laughed.
“Body counts are bullshit anyway,” he replied. “Sorry he couldn’t get you there.”
“Guys usually can’t,” you told him. Which was true - you mainly could only come using toys, and most guys seemed intimidated at the idea of using them. Like it was emasculating or something.
“I bet I could,” Eddie said with a smirk.
“I bet you could, too,” you agreed. “I’m gonna go shower.”
“Have fun,” he teased. You rolled your eyes and made your way to the bathroom.
Showering did clear your mind a bit, but made you no less sexually frustrated. You tried to touch yourself, but weren’t getting anywhere, so you just got yourself clean instead. You put a fresh pair of underwear on and wrapped your robe around yourself, then headed back to your room.
Eddie was right beside your door - leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He eyed you up and down, then took a step towards you.
“I have a question,” he said.
“Um, okay.”
“Have you ever gotten off to my videos?”
He asked it so casually, you needed a minute to even comprehend what he was saying, and even longer to realize he wasn’t kidding.
“Eddie, what the hell?” you replied. You tried to maintain your composure, but your attempts were futile. Especially when he looked at you like that.
“I’ve just been wondering,” he continued. “Curiosity, that’s all.” You swallowed.
“Not to any of your videos,” you answered.
“To the thought of me?”
Yes. Not intentionally, but yes.
Your breathing became shaky, his words enough to get you worked up again.
“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice soft.
“I’m helping you out,” he responded. “Salvaging your night.” He hooked his finger into the tie around your waist, then tugged you even closer to him. “I mean, if you want me to. The offer is there.”
Fuck it. You were tired of fighting your attraction to him. You nodded.
“Okay,” you said. “Let’s just get it over with.” He smiled. “How do we start? Should I lie down? Is there anything off limits? What do I-”
“Don’t think about it,” he said, answering your line of questioning by silencing you. “Get on the bed.” He let go of you so you could walk into your room and follow his orders. You watched him rub his hands together and crack his knuckles as if he was getting ready to go to work - which made sense, all things considered. Then, he followed your footsteps to your bed and made his way towards you until he was settled beside you.
His hand trailed up your body until it settled in your hair. He gripped it tightly so he could angle your head to the side, then leaned over and pressed light kisses to your neck that sent shivers down your spine.
“Do you like things on the gentle side or more rough?” he asked against your skin.
“Healthy mix of both,” you answered. He hummed in approval, then licked a stripe up your neck until his lips were to your ear.
“Talk to me during, okay?” he said. “Tell me what you want.”
Okay, this was officially worth it no matter the consequences.
“I like what you’re doing,” you responded. You felt his mouth return to where it had been before, except this time he found a sensitive spot and sucked on it. You gasped, so he did it again, harder.
“Hickies?” he asked.
“I’d rather not have them, but also please don’t stop,” you muttered. Your eyes fluttered closed as you enjoyed the sensations. His lips were soft but firm, and every point of contact with him felt like it was on fire.
“I can work with that.”
While he continued kissing and nipping at your neck, his hand left your hair to snake down and pull the tie on your robe until it was undone.
You expected him to take your robe off like he was unwrapping a gift - quickly and without precision - but instead he took his time with you. He was slow and deliberate with every action, opening you beneath him little by little and addressing each new exposed part of you before moving on and continuing. He groped at one of your breasts while kissing you, then kissed down your neck and to your other breast. His lips settled on your left nipple while his fingers worked the right one - pinching, sucking, biting, driving you absolutely crazy.
“Fuck,” you moaned. “N-need more.” He released your nipple from his mouth with a pop.
“More what?”
“Everything,” you whined. You would have been embarrassed by how into this you were, but you were too busy enjoying to feel anything other than pleasure. “More. Harder.”
“Mmm,” he said. He adjusted his technique, now grasping at you more intensely. He grabbed the soft skin at your waist and squeezed, then curled around to cradle your lower back. His lips returned to your neck, and this time he bit and sucked so hard you let out a yelp.
“Too much?” he asked, leaning back to gauge the look on your face.
“No,” you responded. “I love it.” He nodded and got back to it, continuing to suck at your pulse point while his knee dipped between your thighs to push them apart. He bent his leg to slowly drag his knee up until it reached your center. It rubbed against you, hard, causing you to let out a gasp.
“Oh, shit,” you said, your voice desperate. “Do that again.” So he did, and then you found yourself grinding against his knee at your own pace. You were definitely going to leave a wet spot on his jeans, but he didn’t seem to care. Your breathing picked up, and you clutched at his hand so you could lead it to the band of your panties. He slid his fingers beneath the fabric and down your slit, spreading you open and exploring the parts of you most slick with desire. He circled your clit while he kissed your collarbone, slipped one finger inside you as he bit at your breast, then added a second finger and rolled them inside you until they found the soft, spongy spot that caused your eyes to roll back in your head. His mouth latched onto your nipple, tongue circling it in time with his thumb down below. You rocked your hips against his hand, needing more pressure. You needed him to fuck you, actually, but he seemed to be in no rush of doing so.
Your stomach tightened as you felt yourself rising for him. He was going to make you come already, when he hadn’t even been touching you for that long.
Suddenly, you were cresting over the edge. It happened so fast you didn’t have time to prepare or warn Eddie, although he seemed to know it was happening before you did.
You gasped and moaned and cried out his name, your vision completely blacked out. Your hips continued to buck and your legs started shaking. Eventually, the waves crashed and you were centered in your body again.
“Okay, wow,” you said breathlessly.
“That was too easy,” he responded. You scoffed.
“Yeah, yeah, you win,” you replied. “You’re just as amazing in bed as you look like you would be-”
“No,” he continued. “I mean - that was too easy, and I like a challenge, so I’m gonna see how many times I can make you do that.”
Within seconds, he was making his way down your body, pulling your underwear off of you, grabbing your ankles, and tugging your body towards him. He laid your legs on either side of his shoulders and dove his head between your thighs, kissing the spot that was still extremely sensitive. It was overstimulating, but felt so good you wouldn’t dare ask him to stop. He ate you out like he was poisoned and you were the antidote. He plunged his tongue into your hole as his hands spread you apart as far as you’d go. He kissed back up to your clit and settled there, teeth latching around it gently. Then, his fingers slid back inside you, and he continued to suck on you, and somehow you were already going to come again. One of your hands found purchase in his hair, and you pulled his head against you even more. The other hand clutched the sheets beside you desperately, crumpling them into a fist as you unraveled against his mouth.
You hadn’t even realized how tightly your thighs were clenching around his head until you released him, but he didn’t move from where he’d been. He continued finger-fucking you and flicking his tongue side to side against your clit all the way through your orgasm and beyond. There was no recovery period or moment of relaxation. It hurt to have him there, a little bit, but not in a bad way. He bit at the fleshy part of your thigh so he had a second to catch his breath, but kept kissing you everywhere he had access and treating your body like it was his most precious belonging.
Because in that moment, you did belong to him.
Your third orgasm immediately followed the second. It was like he was destroying you - breaking down every wall you’d ever put up leaving you an absolute mess underneath him. His motions slowed, ever in tune with your body. It was like he could read your mind.
“Holy shit,” you whispered. He sat up straight and removed his fingers from you, immediately putting them in his mouth to suck them clean. “You’re really good at that.” He grinned, his mouth and chin shining.
“It’s my favorite part,” he replied. “Are you tapping out?”
“No, I -” Your head was spinning, but you absolutely did not want this to stop. “I just need a minute.” He chuckled, wiped his mouth, then pressed a quick kiss to your ankle. He moved your legs off him and back onto the bed, and then he laid down beside you and joined you in staring at the ceiling.
“So,” he said, his hands clasped on his stomach. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” you replied. Your gaze traveled down his stomach to the very noticeable bulge in his jeans. “So, oral really does it for you, huh?” Eddie turned to see your eyes fixed on his crotch. He exhaled sharply - the start of a laugh - then nodded.
“Yeah. I’m good at it and I like it. But, I don’t know whether I’m good at it because I like it or if I like it because I’m good at it.”
“A real chicken versus egg kind of thing,” you said. He laughed.
“Exactly.”
“What else do you like?” you asked.
“Hmm?” He seemed genuinely confused by the question.
“I mean, what else do you like? Not considering your partner’s pleasure, just your own.” He narrowed his eyes.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because we’re about to have sex,” you replied.
“Are we?” he teased. You rolled your eyes.
“Answer me,” you told him. “I want it to be good for you, too.”
“But that wasn’t the deal,” he countered, sitting up. “I’m doing this for you, not me.”
“Why can’t it be both?” He still looked at you as if you weren’t making any sense at all. “Eddie, come on. Just tell me what you like. You’ve never been shy about sex stuff in the past, clearly -”
“I like being bit,” he answered quickly. “Especially on the neck and lips. And, like, the crook of my elbow for some reason?” You nodded, urging him to continue. He sighed, then laid back down beside you. “I like the idea of someone using me just to get off - degradation, treating me like I’m nothing, all that jazz.”
“The idea of it?” you repeated, turning on your side to face him. “You’ve never tried it?”
“Not really,” he responded. “I’m kinda known for the soft-dom thing I have going on, so that’s usually what I end up doing.”
“Hmm.” You thought about his answer in the silence that followed, until he spoke again.
“You know what’s weird?”
“What?”
“Nobody’s really asked me that before.”
You looked at him, completely baffled at the situation. This poor man had only focused on his partners this whole time. No wonder he’d grown jaded to it.
“It’s been a minute,” you said. “I think I’m ready to keep going.”
“Yeah, okay.”
You could visibly see him shift back into work-mode. His eyes lit up and focused in on you again, and his hands went to his belt buckle to unfasten it. You sat up and kneeled on the bed, then helped him take his pants and boxers off and tossed them to the floor. You shimmied your robe off your shoulders and let that fall to the floor as well. He sat up in the bed with his back to the headboard so he could take his shirt off, and now you were both completely naked.
Woah.
You stared at his body, mesmerized by all the ink in his skin. You traced a finger delicately over the tattoos on his chest, shoulders, and forearms. He watched you appreciatively, a soft smile on his face, his expression peaceful. You reached over to your bedside table drawer and grabbed a condom from the box you kept there.
Then, you straddled him.
“Hey, wait -” he said. “Look, I know what you wanna do for me, but it’s probably not gonna happen. Like, I don’t usually come from sex unless I help myself out.”
You kind of saw that in one of the videos. He’d been going with this one woman for like a half hour straight and nothing.
“I want to try,” you told him. He still didn’t look convinced. “Come on, you think only porn stars are good in bed?”
“I just don’t want you to feel bad if -”
You leaned in and kissed him, hungrily, your hands tangling in his hair. Yeah, he’d taken care of you, but you were far from satiated. You wanted him badly, and you wanted to make him feel just as good as he’d made you feel.
You could still taste yourself on his swollen lips, and that’s when you realized the two of you had never actually kissed before. You broke from him, concerned that you’d crossed a line.
“Sorry, I should have asked if kissing is okay first -”
He was kissing you again before you could even get your sentence out. His arms went around your waist, hugging you tightly until your chest was against his. You tugged on his hair, hard, and felt him smirk against your lips.
He was growing impossibly hard beneath you, which only encouraged you to keep going.
You clawed against his back and his mouth opened up for you. You used this as an opportunity to suck his bottom lip into your mouth before biting it.
He whimpered, which was just about the hottest sound you’d ever heard.
Your mouth traveled down his jaw and to his neck, where you gave him the same treatment he’d given you.
“Careful,” he managed to say (though his voice was weak). “I can’t be marked up for work.” You nodded, then grazed your teeth across his skin. He gasped, the grip of his hands tightening on your waist. You kissed him and bit him and sucked him on both sides of his neck, leaving no spot behind and making sure you didn’t stay in one place for too long. Eventually, you felt yourself craving him again - this time, you wanted all of him.
Your hips rocked against his erection, and you knew it was game over the moment his bare cock slid up your folds. You moaned, then reached for the condom beside you so he could put it on. You shifted yourself a bit further down on his lap as he rolled it down his length, and then your eyes caught the tattoo on his thigh that started this whole thing - the witch, in all her glory.
“She’s looking right at it,” you said, your eyes fixed to the design. Eddie huffed out a breathy laugh.
“Yeah, uhh -” he began, flustered. “It’s her - shit, okay - it’s supposed to be a joke where she’s looking at my dick because my dick is a magic wand, but that’s dorky as shit so usually when people ask I just joke that it’s because she’s a voyeur.” You smiled, then shook your head.
“So, why tell me the truth then?” you asked. “What makes me different?” You looked at his blown out pupils, deep brown and infinite, and wondered why you’d spent so much time trying not to look into them. Maybe because now that you’d done it, you weren’t sure you could ever stop.
“I don’t know,” Eddie answered. “I don’t know why you’re different.”
You maintained eye contact as you lifted yourself up and lined his cock with your entrance, and then you slowly let him sink into you.
Oh.
The immediate stretch was incredible. Eddie was well-endowed and thick, and it was going to take a little work to fit him completely inside you. You started slowly, lifting yourself up and down - all the while, your eyes stayed fixed to his.
His hand snaked between you to rub your clit slowly, getting you wetter and allowing you to accommodate his size better. You moaned loudly, unable to stop yourself, then began bouncing at a faster pace.
You kissed his forehead, the sweat on his brow leaving your lips slightly salty. Then, you kissed the spot right next to his eyes, his cheek, his jaw, before finally reaching his lips again.
Hungry. That was the best word to describe it. It felt like the two of you had each never wanted anything more in your lives as much as you wanted each other. He bottomed out inside you, and you began to lift yourself up and crash back down, slowly, but with force.
“Faster,” he muttered. “Please, faster.” His voice was breathy and weak. A part of you wanted to tease him more - you wanted to drive him crazy and then watch him explode, just as he’d done to you. But the other part of you wanted exactly what he wanted, so you obliged.
You started to ride him faster, rolling your hips in such a way where he was hitting the spot inside you that made you scream his name and pull his hair without abandon. He continued to work your clit until - somehow - you felt yourself building up to yet another orgasm.
“Fuck,” you whined, continuing to fuck him exactly as you’d been doing. “I’m gonna come again.”
He whimpered your name, and then his words became incomprehensible. But you wouldn’t have been able to hear them anyway, because pretty soon you were coming so hard you were transported through space and time. Seriously, the feeling was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. He was taking up all the space in your body and your mind.
“You’re so good, Eddie,” you said. Your words were muffled against his mouth, but you knew he understood them. “So fucking good.”
Your motions slowed down, and you started to make your way back to the room. He was staring at you, his eyes no longer piercing. They were soft and vulnerable instead.
“I’m sorry I didn’t -”
“That one was for me,” you interrupted. “This next one's for you.”
“What-?”
Your lips crashed into his again. You’d gotten your fill - more than your fill, actually - and now you just had one goal.
Make Eddie Munson come.
Easy enough, you figured. He’d given you more than enough clues to tell you how. With his dick still deep inside you, you kissed down his neck to his shoulder, then lifted his arm so you could make your way to the crook of his elbow. You sucked at the tender, sensitive skin. His eyes widened.
“Oh, fuck,” he said. You smirked, then dropped his arm and promptly fucked him as fast and rough as you possibly could.
Eddie threw his head back in ecstasy, groaning and grunting and continuing to talk under his breath - only this time you were able to understand some of it.
“Holy fucking shit…Jesus Christ…Just like that…”
Most of it was curse words.
His fingers dug into your ass as he guided your hips exactly the way he needed them to go, and then all of a sudden he was twitching beneath you, his hands flexing, his jaw dropped. He desperately pressed open-mouthed kisses against your collarbone and breasts, holding you flush to him as you milked him for all he was worth.
His breathing slowed, his face still buried in your tits. Finally, he leaned back so he could look up at you. You smiled and waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just kissed you instead - this time lightly and without urgency behind it.
You let him slip out of you, then collapsed beside him, completely blissed out. He stayed seated and upright, although he did take the condom off and dropped it in the trash next to the bed. His eyes had turned pensive, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.
“Everything okay?” you asked.
“No,” he replied, staring straight ahead.
“What’s wrong?” He shrugged.
“I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I felt like that.” You cocked your head in confusion.
“And that’s a problem?” you wondered. You maybe would have freaked out had you not just had four orgasms - Instead, you were just concerned.
“I don’t know.”
His head turned until you could see his expression fully, and you noticed there was a hint of a smile on his face.
“Um, is there anything I can do to help?” you asked.
“Yeah.” He grabbed your hand and took a deep breath. “You wanna go on a date with me?”
(Part 2)
-------------------
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Our Girl
Warnings: body shaming, panic attack, insecurity, idiots in love, kissing, flirty comments, couple being obsessed with each other. if there is anything I missed, please let me know!
word count: 3.8k before images
You were in one of the hottest countries in the world with Lando. Abu Dhabi was gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. But boy was it hot. You had tried to pack clothes that would be good for the weather, but you didn’t want clothes that made you shapeless. Being friends with Lando meant that you would likely be on camera at least once, especially with the boy having the energy of a 5-year-old and being best friends with anyone and everyone on the grid. And so, with Lando being so well loved, you knew that if you were seen with him, then people would notice the big girl standing in the back constantly. Your outfit had to be perfect, at least to you. In your head, if your outfit had to be perfect to try and reduce the fallout that would no doubt come for you on Twitter.
You loved Lando, probably more than you should, not that you would tell him. But the women that he had been seen with, were gorgeous. You keep telling yourself that you're gorgeous too but these were model-worthy women, and that, as you had been told many times, were not. So this outfit had to be perfect. It had to be perfect for him, for you, for all the women that looked like you.
So this is how you ended up standing in a room with Lando’s baggage as well as your own, anxiety filling you after you had been told at reception that there was only one room left. And to make things worse? It only had one bed. This hadn’t been a problem before, having known him since you were 5, you had shared a bed plenty of times, but now? Now you were head over heels in love with the curly-haired man. And you had to pretend that you weren't. But that wasn’t your biggest problem right now. Right now, your biggest problem was getting ready and getting to the grid on time, you could tell Lando about the bed situation later. And anyway, there was a sofa, you could try and cover yourself up with the end blanket off of the bed, on the sofa. Lando would need the bed anyway, he has the biggest job to do here. And so to sum it all up, all of these reasons are what led you to stand in front of the mirror in the bedroom, nearly in tears as you looked at your reflection. You didn’t hate your body, in fact, you were your biggest fan, but the anxiety of everything was eating you up from the inside out. Every piece of fabric felt like it was clinging to your body. You have to take a deep breath you keep telling yourself.
Your phone ringing from the desk nearby pulled you from your anxiety-ridden trance. Picking up your phone you see Lando’s contact lighting up your phone screen. The image itself makes you laugh. The man had made it as a surprise to make you laugh when you were having a bad day a few weeks ago even though it had some pictures in it that he hated. And he wouldn’t tell you, but he would use the worst images of him in the universe again if it made you smile the way it did again.
Although the picture made you smile, the anxiety still bubbling within you made your thumb hesitate over the reject button before pressing the accept button.
L: Hello?
Y/N: Lando? What’s up? Is everything okay? Are you h-?
L: I’m okay, breath, I'm okay. I just wanted to ask what room I’m in.
Fuck.
Y/N: Uh, about that…
The line stayed quiet as Lando waited for you to continue, and realising that you weren’t, he tried to push you for your answer as gently as possible
L: yeah?
Y/N: Sotheysortofmessedupandtheresonlyonehotelroombetweenthetwoofusanditonlyhasonebed.
L: What? Remember what I said about breathing? Take a breath and then tell me, again. Okay?
Taking what might have been the biggest breath of your life you repeat yourself
Y/N: They messed up the rooms
L: okay?
Y/N: And there’s only one hotel room between the two of us
L: right…
Y/N: it only has one bed
L: Darlin’ I'm not seeing the problem here, we’ve shared a bed before. What room are we in?
Y/N: 410
L: Okay, I’ll see you in a minute okay
Y/N: Okay.
You both hang up the one at the same time, something that has come with being friends for such a long time. With a shaky breath, you throw your phone back onto the desk before making your way to hide in the bathroom knowing that Lando would want to know why you’re so anxious about sharing a bed all of a sudden. You catch yourself in the mirror again, and somehow you hate how you look even more than in the lights of the bedroom. Your hands feel cold all of a sudden, and that’s when you look down at them to realise that your hands are gripping the marble counter. The coldness of the counter does nothing to help calm down the feeling of anxiety that is threatening to bubble over. Tears begin to cloud your vision, building up over your vision, leaving everything blurry. You couldn’t help but feel that everything about your outfit was wrong. The corset is too tight, the skirt too long, the shoes too high, and your hair too tight. You had wanted to surprise Lando with your outfit. Hoping that maybe it might change the way he looks at you. But the more you look at yourself in the mirror the more you doubt it. Your brain reminds you of his friends, his ex-girlfriends, hell even his colleagues.
Trying to loosen the ribbon at the back of your corset, you felt like the room was closing in around you. The gesture of having an old McLaren t-shirt of his turned into a corset, his name and number being the main focus of it. You had tried to pair it with a silk black skirt. You wanted to try and match the skirt to the rest of the outfit by wearing some flatform sandals with a silver buckle. Around your neck, you were trying to put on a silver necklace with the initial ‘L’ hanging down from the chain. Your hair was pulled back from around your face and pulled into an elegant silver claw clip. From your ears was a pair of simple diamond studs that had a climber attached to it, that Lando had brought you for your birthday after he signed his first contract with McLaren. And finally, you had some simple silver bracelets, an orange beaded bracelet with LN in heart-shaped beads, and some simple silver diamond rings that your parents had gifted you for your 21st birthday. When you had planned the outfit, it all felt perfect, but now it felt oh so wrong. Too in your head about everything, you hadn’t noticed Lando enter the hotel room, let alone the bathroom. It wasn't till you felt his warm arms surround you that you even noticed he was there.
“Whats wrong darlin’,” he asks, his arms wrapped around your waist. His voice and warmth surrounding you made the tears finally fall from your eyes. Your anxiety finally bubbling over.
“Everything” you manage to get out before the sobs quickly follow. Lando doesn’t say anything, a thousand thoughts running through his head as he sees his best friend break down in his arms. He looks around the room, noticing your washbag by the shower, your makeup bag on the counter and a necklace near the edge of the sink. “Let's sit down,” Lando says, trying to take a few steps backwards to be able to lean against the wall. However, what he wasn’t expecting was for you to freak out as he pulled you back.
Your breath suddenly became laboured, the tears began falling quicker. And the safe feeling of Lando’s arms around you? Suddenly they all felt too suffocating. Why was he even here? Why did he ask you? He has plenty of other friends that were so much better looking. Was he trying to embarrass you by bringing you here? Trying to clear your sight, you look around the room trying to find the escape, but nothing was working and it felt like the walls were getting closer and closer to each other. You feel your body go into auto-drive as you take a few steps back. Suddenly, your back hit the glass of the shower door. The cold of the glass sends you even further into a spiral.
Lando stood in the corner of the room watching you. He had seen you have an anxiety attack before but never as bad as this. He was panicking inside but he knew that if you were able to see him and saw him freaking out, you would freak out more. Taking a deep breath, he made his way towards you once more.
“Y/N?” You heard him ask. But your mind was running faster than his McLaren car. You tried to respond but you couldn’t. Your vision was grey and your body felt like it was shaking enough for people to think that there was an earthquake.
Trying to think back to how he had calmed you down before during an anxiety attack, Lando finally remembered. He quickly ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, first running towards the bed, he ripped the heavy blanket from the foot of the bed before running to his suitcase, practically throwing it to the floor, he unzipped it and pulled the first hoodie he saw from the neat piles of clothes. Having all of the items he needed, he sped back to the bathroom, noticing you still spiralling near the shower. Not wanting to scare you he moved slowly towards you. He took his hoodie, placed it into your hands, and pushed your hands towards your face. He let out a breath of relief when he saw you pause for a second. But the relief didn’t last very long when the sobs became even harder. He knew what he needed to do next. He took the blanket and wrapped you in it as tightly as possible before pulling you into his arms once again.
You didn’t know what was happening but all you could smell was Lando and the pressure of something wrapped around you. The smell of him and the pressure helping you to slowly come back down to earth. You push your face further into whatever it was that smelt like him. The dizzy feeling not wanting to leave you be just yet.
Seeing you slowly calm down, Lando knew that this would probably be the best moment to pull you towards the floor. Holding onto you, he began crouching down, your body following him slowly. And when he managed to get to the floor, he leaned against the wall near the shower door and pulled you close to him. From here he could hear your breathing slow down, the sobs turning to sniffles. And when the sniffles slowly stopped, he spoke
“What's wrong, love?” he asked, his voice soft and yet full of worry. The girl in his arms doesn’t respond.
“Sweetheart?” he prods. There is a pause before the woman speaks. “You shouldn’t be seen with me” she almost whispers. Lando stills his hand from where it was running up and down her arm. “What?” he responds. His voice was almost angry. You didn’t respond. Lando pushed himself forward. Pushing you up so that he could look into your eyes.
You could feel the anxiety bubble up again as you saw so many emotions in his beautiful eyes. “Why shouldn’t I be seen with you? I mean look at you!” He speaks, his voice calm but confused. “Exactly,” you mutter hoping that he doesn’t hear you. But, he did. “Has someone said something to you?” he asks, trying to figure out what had caused you to feel this way. “I saw a comment on the Quadrant Instagram” you start, feeling the tears in your eyes begin to well up again. You keep your head down not wanting to make eye contact with the man in front of you. “It was the one where you’d asked me to model one of your t-shirts, where we were matching” you finish with a sniffle. You look at Lando quickly before looking away when you see the anger on his face. “They said, that you deserve better friends and that someone as big as me shouldn’t even be in the same room as you in case I crush you” you say, the feeling of getting what someone had said off your chest making you feel like you can breathe a little bit better. “And then the receptionist earlier, recognised me from the pictures where I’ve been seen with you, and she was nice to my face, but when I had gone behind the wall to put some stuff back into my backpack, I heard her say-” you spoke before being cut off by Lando’s angry voice “What did she say?” “she said” you pause “as if she thinks that god of a man would even sleep in the same bed as her fatass. He’s probably worried she’d turn over in the night and crush him to death. Fat bitch” By the end of your sentence, Lando had moved to stand up and was moving towards the bathroom door. “Please don’t leave me,” you said into the quiet room as Lando got to the door. He stopped with his hand on the door handle, his knuckles white as he tried to reign in his anger at what he had been told.
—--------------------- lando pov
How fucking dare that woman say anything about his girl. What gave her the right to say something so disgusting? So untrue? The door handle beginning to feel warm in his hand is what brought him back to reality. He turned to see the woman who had always been so strong, so self-confident about herself, in pieces on their hotel bathroom floor. It’s something he never thought he would see. And he didn’t know how to deal with it. Should he call someone? No. You wouldn’t want anyone to see you like this. He sighed, seeing you sitting on the floor, still looking so gorgeous, with your head down and leaning against the shower door. He moves to sit next to you again, sitting as close as possible to you. Close enough that he could smell your signature sweet perfume. Close enough that he can see the tear streaks on your cheeks. He saw you cautiously place your head on his shoulder, making him smile. He moves his arm so that you can cuddle up to him easier. His fingers trace the material of your shirt. Looking down, he realises it's a corset, and the sight makes him blush. The fabric of the material feels familiar to him. He pushes you to sit up a little bit. And in that moment, he realises. He realises that he has been in love with you. He has been since he was 14 when you were the first person to run to him to celebrate his CIK-FIA World Championship. Maybe he’d just been pretending this whole time that he didn’t love you, or maybe he didn’t want to believe it, in case it meant that he would lose you. He looks down at your outfit, finally noticing the corset properly. His cheeks heat up when he realises what it is. It was his top that he had signed for her after his first podium, he couldn’t believe that you would have kept the t-shirt this long and how you’d managed to keep it in good condition from the 2020 Austrian Grand Prix champagne shower. The corset had his surname (and he definitely hadn’t had dreams in the past of it being your surname too, absolutely not) written right at the top with his number underneath. He didn’t know yet, but if he spun you around his signature would be on the back. Then he saw the necklace hung delicately around your neck, the silver chain elongating your neck as it shone beautifully from the base of your neck. And one day he hoped that it could be his lips there instead, if you’d let him. It took him a few more seconds to realise that it was his initial that was hanging around your neck. The more he took you in the more he noticed the little details. The orange bracelet around your wrist, his initials. The earrings in your slightly red ears, the ones he had brought you. The rings that he had helped your parents choose for your 21st adorned your hands that he’d always loved were smaller than his. He took all of you in, finally seeing you. Finally realising that you were his girl. Looking into your eyes, he saw how red they were, and he wondered how many times you had cried because of his fans. “I'm so sorry” he whispered, raising his hands to place them between your neck and your jaw. “If I had known that my fans would make you feel like this I would never have ever started racing” He spoke quietly to her, his thumb rubbing back and forth gently on her cheek. “I love you so much” he told her. Never meaning anything more.
y/n pov —------------------------
The two of you had told each other multiple times that you loved each other. Your heart broke a little bit when your mind told you that he would only ever meant that as a sibling, or a friend at most. Your heart raced as you felt him rest his forehead against yours, his thumb still rubbing soothing swipes against your tear soaked cheeks. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you as you sat in the bathroom. “Can i tell you something?” Lando whispered, pulling back from you slightly, almost regretting it when he saw the worry return to your eyes. “Do you remember when we were 14?” he asked. The memories came flooding back, making a smile appear on your face. “I remember when you came running past the security, even past my parents and straight at me just as I’d gotten out of the kart. It was that moment, with your arms wrapped around my neck and my arms wrapped around you that I realised I was head over heels in love with you. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself for the last 10 years, but I can’t do it anymore. I need the world to know you’re my girl. I love you, more than racing, more than life, more than stroopwafel’s” he said, the smile getting bigger at the end of the sentence. “I remember nearing pushing you over with how hard i was hugging you and nearly being told off by your coach because we nearly fell onto the kart. I’d never seen you smile so big. But” you paused looking up at him, seeing the worry flash across his eyes at your statement “i fell inlove with you when you tried horse riding for the first time, and you fell off. You looked straight at me and you had the worst hair cut but you put your thumbs up at me and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live in this world if you werent in it. I tried dating other people, thinking I would finally be able to get over you, but i’ve never been able to get over you. My exs all said that they could see how in love with you I was and they couldn’t compete against it. You’d always have my heart. And they’re right, Lando. I love you more than anything in this world. I’ve only ever been able to call you my man in my dreams” you spoke, blushing towards the end of your sentence.
“In your dreams, huh?” Lando teased, smirking. “Shut up” you mumbled, suddenly feeling very self conscious again. You felt Lando’s fingers under your chin, pulling it so that you would look up at him. “Lets not waste anymore time. Be mine?” he asks you, his eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes. “Lemme think about it” you teased. “I suppose I can spare some time for you, but it’s on one condition” you continued. “Which is?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “Kiss me”. And that he did. You have never had such a passionate kiss in your life. It felt like every missed moment, every almost moment was being poured into the kiss. And if the kisses were like this, you never wanted to stop kissing him. But unfortunately, Lando’s phone began ringing. He groaned into your lips, not wanting this moment to end. Ultimately, it was you that pulled away. “You should answer that, boyfriend” you said. The word making him smile as he pulled his phone from his back pocket. “It’s Zak, but he wants to video call” he said nervously trying to regulate his emotions enough to speak to his boss.
“Lando? Where are you? Are you still at the hotel? You’re lucky the hotel is literally across the street. Media starts in 10 minutes. Be here, or we will be having a talk.” the older man spoke, barely letting the younger man have a chance to get a word in.
“Yes, Zak” he said, still barely containing his smile. The men nodded at each other before hanging up the phone. Lando placed his phone back onto the floor before pulling you back into a kiss.
Begrudgingly, Lando pulled away, pushing himself to stand up. Then, he held his hands out to you. He managed to pull you up gracefully enough, and pulled you into him, pulling you in for another kiss, which made you begin to giggle. Your giggles set off lando’s giggles, and then you and Lando were holding onto each other, laughing. Lando moved his hands to hold your face again.
“I need to go, but I’ll get Oscar, Max and the Guys to send their girlfriends in. I know you’re anxious, but I promise you’ll love them, and they’ll love you. And,” he said pulling you into a quick kiss, again, “I’ll see you soon, Girlfriend”. The words made your heart flutter. Lando stepped away, one of his hands still holding onto yours. He turned, about to finally make his way out of the bathroom when he came turning back to you. He pulled you into another passionate kiss. And as he pulled away he whispered into your ear “You look absolutely stunning, baby”. The pet name made you blush, which in turn made Lando smirk. He kissed your forehead, squeezed your hand and made his way out of the room. Away from his girl.
Lando to his boys:
wags group chat:
y/n posted to Instagram
ynusername: today I became part of something I never thought I would. I made friends younger I could only dream about making. Younger me, if you could see me now, we made it. In more ways than one. Thank you @/landonorris for sending this angels my way and also for making me your girl.
landonorris: my girl
------ user 1: WHAT?!
------ user 2: we've been seeing this coming for years! FINALLY!
carmenmmundt: our girl
-------- landonorris: my girl
------- lilyzneimer: our girl x 2
------- flavy.barla: our girl x 3
------- francisca.gomes: our girl x 4
------- heidiberger_: our girl x 5
------- alexandrassaintmleux: our girl x 6
-------lilymhe: our girl x 7
------- iamrebeccad: our girl x 8
------- tiffanycromwell: our girl x 9
------- logjorup: our girl x 10
------ kellypiquet: our girl x 11
------ carolamtz1: our girl x 12
------ landonorris: MY GIRL
The corset in question (I've cropped my own face out, please no hate)
Let me know if you guys want a part two! And if you want to be tagged in part two!
#lando norris x plus size reader#lando fluff#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#f1 x plus size reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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Interfering with Halsin's Portal
It's pretty well known that there are a few situations you can get in where Halsin is well and truly angry rather than disappointed or worried, but I don't think a lot of folks know one of those situations is if you mess with his portal to the Shadowfell. It's a heartwrenching bit of acting. It's also fundamental to the plot of my in-progress fic Girdled Roots, so I figured I might share it with the other Halsin-lovers out there who have never seen it.
EDIT: Please be aware this is datamined dialog and may not be visible in game. It appears to be intended to trigger if the player attempts to enter the portal, which I don't believe is possible in the final game, or at least I couldn't find a way in the most recent version. Sharing this is simply to enjoy the incredible acting and get some plot bunnies moving, not to make any commentary about the game's canon.
Halsin's Initial Reaction
Halsin: No! Stop! Halsin: It's gone... that was our one chance. You've doomed this place to darkness! Halsin: I warned you - told you this was my burden to carry. Why didn't you listen?
The pure rage and despair is visceral. Prior to this, Halsin mentions this portal has been a century in the making, but he's so calm and measured (even upon success) that it is easy to dismiss just how much agony has plagued him as he hoped to make things right. This chance is everything to him. It has guided his every action for a century. It is a hundred years of work, prayer, and guilt to rectify the horrific fate of both land and people that came to nothing because a stranger he trusted refused to listen to him.
The portal breaking is the only time we hear Halsin speak the truth of its importance to him without a hint of emotional regulation. He is wild with pain. This man who is always thoughtful and slow to anger in the face of horror with the wisdom of age and suffering to guide him has become too overwhelmed to show any kindness.
Player response
The player is given several different ways to respond, and Halsin's reaction varies a surprising amount depending on how understandable their reason is. In most cases, he states that he needs to be alone afterward.
Option 1: I'm sorry - I acted on instinct. Halsin: Words won't repair what's been done to this land. Nothing will... I need to be alone.
You can hear the ache in Halsin's voice, but he's somewhat understanding of this response. He projects more sadness than unchecked rage. The player has admitted to making a mistake, and Halsin isn't the type of person who hold onto vengeance when an apology has been made, but he's not naive or people-pleasing enough to say "it's okay" or offer comfort either. The safest thing for everyone is for him to step away to grieve when there is nothing more to be done.
Option 2: I did all the work here - I couldn't just let you take the glory. Halsin: Glory?! There's no glory here. Now there's nothing here - only shadows and the total absence of hope. Halsin: There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.
Pure fury radiates from Halsin's response if the player focuses on the idea of being some grand hero rather than actually caring for the outcome. What the player did was an unforgiveable act, dooming everything that Halsin holds dear, and you have the audacity to complain about not getting glory from it. Again, he steps away, but this feels more like he's doing it because he believes you're worthless to reason with rather than because he needs a moment.
Option 3: I saved your grove - I figured it'd be best if I handled this as well. Halsin: We were this close to healing these lands. Now your arrogance has torn open the wounds once more. Halsin: There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.
Halsin is still frustrated with this response and unmistakably angry, but it's significantly toned down from the idea of wanting to go through the portal for glory. More like he thinks you're a self-important idiot than a truly terrible person.
Specialized player responses
There are also three special responses you can give if you have a particular class or diety.
Druid: I thought my powers were equal to yours. Halsin: It wasn't just power this needed - it was wisdom, understanding. I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse... and it seems I will continue to do so. Halsin: There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.
Interestingly, he responds much more intensely to a druid than some of the other player choices. It might be in part because he feels like a druid should know better. He lectures the player like an Archdruid would initiates in his Grove, alternating between angry and explanatory, trying to get the player to understand why they were wrong and the sheer magnitude of their error. He ultimately ends in a much more resigned place here rather than personally resentful. Like a father-figure being forced through further life trials because of a child's foolish indiscretion. Frustrating, but inevitable.
Selunite: I trusted in Selûne to guide me through the shadows. Halsin: My friend - I wish you had trusted in me.
This is probably Halsin's most simple response with the least vitriol. He fully understands this answer, even if he's disappointed by it. The fact he calls the player 'friend' suggests a certain tired acceptance of this being a natural behavior for a Selunite trying to do good. We don't see this calm in other responses where Halsin was surprised by the player's choice.
Sharran: The Shadowfell is no place for non-believers - I couldn't allow you to soil it. Halsin: I should never have trusted an ally of the Dark Lady.
If you've ever taken Halsin along with Shadowheart in Act 2, then you know he is absolutely scathing toward her and her faith. He likely isn't as angry if a Sharran breaks the portal because it is utterly predictable. It merely confirms a truth he already knew and talked himself out of. That Sharrans cannot be fully trusted in matters of their goddess, even if one was good enough to rescue his people from the goblins.
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Hey rubix!! I just watched the marvels and I LOVED it!!! I was wondering if you could do a carol x reader fic where Carol is introducing her gf to Monica and Kamala and they just click really quickly and bond 😭
I’m going on a carol rampage atm bc she just looked too GOOD 🤭
- ✨
if forever will have me [C.Danvers]
paring: carol danvers x reader
summary: your girlfriend brings two stowaways on board after a rough mission, you welcome them with open arms while carol tries to adjust.
warnings: none?; fluff with minimal plot; carol's a dorky mess and we love her for it; brief emotional moments but nothing too drastic; R's a mom friend in this one frfr; not proofread; i still suck at endings
wordcount: 2.5k
a/n: I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING OVER A YEAR TO WRITE THIS 😭 you deserved so much better, lovely anon, please forgive me. in an effort to make it up to you, i turned this into a longer fic than i originally planned, and sort of tweaked the movie plot a little because i felt it was missing a few scenes like this. i really hope you enjoy (and that i didn't totally forget how to write for carol) and once again, i'm so sorry for taking so long to write this. hopefully, there'll be more carol fic in the making soon <3
* * * * * * *
To say you were worried about Carol would be an understatement.
While it wasn't completely unusual to go a few days without hearing from her, thanks to how chaotic her job could get, she always made sure to update you as soon as possible. Especially when you were staying in her spaceship catsitting.
Truth be told, Goose didn't really need babysitting. Mainly because more often than not, Carol just took the alien cat with her, both for comfort and companionship. However, it gave the blonde the perfect excuse to convince you to join her.
Again, you didn't really need convincing, but it made your girlfriend feel better when you were brought on board as part of her team. Her "team" being you and her...and Goose...and the occasional call from Nick Fury...and King Valkyrie. As much as the blonde insisted she preferred working alone, she was surrounded by a pretty badass support system.
Said support system wasn't enough to help her with her newest problem, though.
A problem that even you weren't qualified to help her with.
Ship full of homeless Skrulls and emotional visit from the King of Asgard aside, it was nice to have other people aboard. Even if one of those people was Carol's sort of adopted (and abandoned) daughter and the other one was a teenage girl who was quite literally Captain Marvel's biggest fan. They might not have been your first choice of companions, but you were nothing if not a welcoming host.
As soon as King Valkyrie transported the Skrull refugees back to Asgard with her, you made your way to your girlfriend's side.
"Hey," you say, you hand reaching out to take hers. "Rough day?"
Your words make her chuckle despite herself. "That's an understatement."
"What do you need from me?"
"Just...don't let go."
Her arms envelop you before you can even try to question her. You happily return her embrace, allowing her to bury her face against your shoulder and let out the heaviest sigh you've heard in a while. She doesn't have to say anything for you to known she's trying to decompress after the shit show that's gone down.
You hold the blonde close as you run your hand up and down her back, eyes bouncing back and forth between Monica and Carol's biggest fan. As awkward as it is for you, you can't imagine it's any easier for them so, you break the silence.
"Cool ship, right?"
They both nod, although the older of the two looks anywhere but you. You can't really blame her considering her history with Carol and how weird the whole situation is. A situation you still don't know any details of.
"Is, uh, is she okay?" The younger brunette ask.
"Oh, yeah, she's just...recharging."
Your girlfriend grumbles something in response, but you don't pay her any mind. It's not your fault she's literally a human lamp.
You sidestep the two of you until you're out of sight. It's not like you want to be secretive or anything, there's just a higher chance the blonde will tell you what's wrong if it's just the two of you.
"Hey, babe," you murmur.
She grumbles once more, slowly detaching herself from your neck. The glassiness of her eyes instantly makes alarms ring in your head.
"Carol-"
Your girlfriend instantly shrugs you off. "I'm fine, I just...need some time."
As badly as you want to argue with her, the last thing she needs right now is more difficulties.
"So, you're just going to leave me here with your new friends?" You ask with a raised eyebrow.
"You'll be fine, it's not like they're too happy with me either right now."
She tries to laugh it off, but you're no fool. You can see the heaviness on her shoulders, the far-away look in her eye that can't mean anything good. As badly as you want to go with her, you know she needs some time to catch her breath on her own.
So, you let her go, leaving you alone with the newest members of your unofficial team.
Not even five seconds go by before the silence is interrupted by the young brunette. "I didn't know Captain Marvel had a girlfriend."
"Does that mean no one talks about me in the fan forums?"
"That's probably for the best."
You cross the small space until you're in front of them, offering them the warmest smile you can muster. "Listen, I know this situation isn't ideal, but it's nice to have other people on the ship."
Monica gives you the smallest of smiles in response, which might not be much, but it's a start. A start you're not about to waste.
"Let's start over, yeah?" You say, somewhat aware of how shitty they must be feeling too, if Carol's barely hidden emotions are anything to go by. "I'm y/n, this ship's second captain."
"Kamala." She eagerly shakes your hand. "This ship's nice. Actually, it's really awesome."
"I know," you whisper in response, earning yourself a brighter smile.
Once Kamala finally releases your hand, you turn to face the older brunette. The soft look in her eyes does little to soothe your nervousness. You'd imagined meeting her many times before, although under much better circumstances.
"Oh, I'm Monica, but I'm assuming you already knew that."
"Yeah, it's really nice to meet you."
The sincerity in your voice seems to catch her off-guard, but she recovers before you can call her out on it. And by recover, all she really does is sidestep the conversation you need to have.
"Do you think Carol needs help?" She asks.
"Oh, she needs a lot of help but good luck getting through to her," you reply with an affectionate roll of your eyes.
Kamala barely stifles a laugh at your words, clearly enjoying the dynamic you're starting to form with them. While Carol wasn't exactly hard to read, she could be a little rough around the edges at first, especially when placed in stressful situations she feels responsible for.
Monica, on the other hand, lets out a long sigh. "I meant with the ship."
"Oh, yeah, probably. Just know she'll say no if you ask her."
"Yeah, I had a feeling."
There's an edge of nostalgia to her words that you understand all too well. As badly as you want to talk to her about it, to reassure her that what happened wasn't her fault, that Carol still cares, you know it's not your place.
Unfortunately, you're also aware of how awkward your girlfriend can be. It's as endearing as it is frustrating.
While Monica goes down to the ship's engine room to talk to Carol, you stay with Kamala.
You let her admire the place for a few moments before you speak up again. "Hey, you okay? Want to talk about what happened?"
Her eyes remain glued to Goose, busying herself with petting her even while she responds to your question. "You mean how I totally got scolded by my idol?"
You honestly have no idea what she's talking about, but you want her to feel supported, so you nod anyway. "Sure, if you want to."
The only response you get for a few seconds is a heavy sigh. You can see her shoulders slumping forward as she allows herself to finally accept how she's feeling. "I really didn't think our first meeting would go like this. It was supposed to be cooler, y'know? Full of bonding and really funny jokes and me getting to show off my awesome powers. Instead, I just messed up and made THE Captain Marvel mad."
You do your best to stifle the laughter that threatens to bubble up inside your throat. The last thing you want to do is invalidate her feelings but...you can't deny how amusing her rambling is.
"Sweetheart, I promise you Carol's not mad at you and I don't even know what happened. She's just protective. And really stubborn. And not the best team player."
Your words seem to bring little comfort to her. "I just...I don't want to disappoint her."
Kamala's voice breaks at the end, leading you to spring into action faster than you can even process. Even though you're not exactly sure how to comfort her, you know you have to do something. At least until Carol comes back.
"Hey," you say as you walk over to her, your arms wide open for her. "You won't. You're not going to disappoint anyone, okay? I guarantee you Carol's beating herself up for yelling at you. She's a captain, not a tyrant."
Your words make her chuckle even as she accepts the hug offer. She might not fully believe you right now, but that's okay. All that matters to you is that she doesn't feel like an outsider. Because as weird as it might be, you're all in this together now and that means being there for each other.
A few seconds go by before she speaks up again.
"Hey, um...is there somewhere I could shower?"
"Yeah, let me show you."
You show Kamala to the bathroom, helping her figure out how the shower works and giving her some of Carol's oversized clothes to wear. It's a small thing, but you hope it'll help her feel a little more at home in your large spaceship. It'd taken you a long time to get used to the whole being in space thing too.
Once you get back to the main area, you find Monica again, a thin layer of tears making her brown eyes sparkle. You're not exactly sure how to approach her, or if she even wants to be approached, but you know you have to do something. As much as you love Carol, you don't trust she didn't accidentally stick her foot in her mouth.
Monica watches you approach, silently analyzing your next move.
As much as you want to simply walk away, you can't. Not when you know how hard your girlfriend has been on herself about what happened with Monica and her mom.
"It's been hard for her too, y'know?" You say with a soft smile.
She blinks a few times, seemingly trying to hide how affected she is. "Oh, I don't...I'm fine."
Maybe you should leave it alone, it's technically none of your business, and yet...you can't stop yourself from prying a little. Mainly since you're also acutely aware of the team-up situation they find themselves in. The last thing they needis to be at each other's throats because of their past.
"Yeah? Is that why you can't look at Carol for more than five seconds?"
Her jaw clenches at that, but you stand firm. Or as firm as you can be when you're staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. The gun in question being Monica's exasperated expression.
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
Despite her attempt at sounding mad, the way her voice cracks reveals the true feelings lingering under the surface. The ones she's been pushing down for who knows how long.
"Maybe." You shrug. "But I know she's been beating herself up for not coming back sooner. I know she spent the majority of the last five years talking about your mom. About you. You're her family. The only one she has left."
Monica tries her hardest to appear unaffected, but the change in her expression says it all. Her eyes soften as her jaw unclenches, her bottom lip trembling just the slightest bit to let you know you've cracked her defenses.
"She has you."
Her words are soft. Not really a complaint or an argument. Simply a statement. One that makes your face flush despite your hardest efforts.
"That's not...you know what I mean."
For once, she drops the cool act. "I do, but my point still stands. You're her family too. And honestly? I think she needs you more than I do right now."
You let out a soft chucke. "Yeah, I can't argue with that. You'll be okay?"
The question is far more loaded than you realize and yet, she nods. "Yeah, I think so."
With that, you make your way back to Carol, not at all surprised to find her muttering under her breath as she paces back and forth. "Everything okay, Captain?"
She stops in her tracks the second she hears your voice. "Something like that. It's been a long day."
"Tell me about it, it seems you've brought out some strong emotions in everyone."
"Yeah." The blonde does her best to glue a smirk onto her face, but she fails miserably. If anything, her smile comes off more like a grimace than anything.
You cross the space between you in an instant. "How are you holding up?"
She answers your question with one of her own. "How's Kamala doing? I shouldn't have yelled at her earlier."
As much as you hate her tendency to side-step talking about how she's feeling, you allow it. Clearly, you're not the only one who's gotten attached to the young girl. "She's okay, maybe a little upset, but nothing a warm shower can't fix."
A long sigh escapes her and even though you want nothing more than you wrap her up in your arms, you hold back. As difficult as it is, you wait for her to show you what she needs. "This is why I don't work with a team. I'm awful at it."
You can't stop yourself from poking fun at her. "You're literally a captain, though."
This time, the smile that crosses her face looks warmer. Real in a way you're used to. "That's not funny."
"I thought it was hilarious."
You wrap your arms around her neck before she can complain about your shitty jokes, pulling her closer. She catches on pretty quickly and wraps her arms around your waist before she leans in to capture your lips in a slow kiss.
The moment ends far too quickly for your liking.
Her forehead rests against your own, her blue eyes sparkling with emotions you know she can't fully put into words. Not that you'd ever force her.
That being said, you wish you didn't know exactly where things were going.
"You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?" You ask even though you already know the answer.
"Nope." She pecks your lips before you can protest. "I have enough to worry about, I can't put you in the line of fire too."
"You know I don't mind. I want to be here for you."
Her hand leaves your waist to trail her finger up your arm. She grips your wrist and slowly brings it away from her neck and toward her chest. "I know, princess, but I have to do this on my own. I have to fix my mistakes."
You find yourself huffing in response. "I hate it when you get all serious like that."
She chuckles, bringing your wrist up to her lips for a few lingering kisses. "I'll come back to you before you know it. Promise."
"I'll be waiting, Captain."
You pull her back in without another word, knowing full well you'll both keep to your promises.
#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x you#carol danvers fic#carol danvers#captain marvel#brie larson#marvel fanfiction#marvel#mcu imagine#wlw#wlw fic#writing
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I’m really nervous to say this but I think I might be a girl, but it’s confusing because I still think I was born male.
Like, I use he/him for myself sometimes. I don’t consider myself even trans, I’m a girl in a boys body or a girl who was raised/born with a penis. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a real Transfem, or like I’m less valid because I still consider myself male to some degree. Or I feel like I’m using transmed language. I know it isn’t true, but the internalized transphobia is real. 😞
(also btw I go by the name Ren, if you could refer to me that way please)
hello there! thanks for taking the time to stop by, we really appreciate it
i totally see where you're coming from. i don't think you have to feel ashamed for thinking/feeling that way right now. i have met so many girls in your situation and it's totally okay to feel that way while you're coming to accept who you are. many transfems are affected by imposter syndrome and i think it's due to the absolutely unrealistic expectations we place on every single transfem. i think it's because of how poorly other people treat you and other transfems
it's really easy to internalize that you're not "really" this or "really" that when other people treat you that way, or you've witnessed that behavior being expressed towards others. it's alright to feel unsure of yourself right now. a lot of trans people start off thinking they're a girl in a boy's body, or a boy in a girl's body. it's alright to not see your body as a girl's body yet. it takes time to accept that. some of my exes have been in the same situation where they still saw their body as a man's body and it's okay. you are a girl in a girl's body, but you've been told otherwise for so long it's okay to take a while to dismantle that
you sound transfem to me, i hope you're able to feel more confident soon as time passes. if possible, it may help you to try to seek out online transfem spaces, i'm part of a few on discord and i see a lot of people being very proactive in helping ease the dysphoria of other transfems. it's so common, you're not alone. some of the most intense dysphoria i've ever seen in a trans person came from the trans girls i've known. and who can blame you? society is so harsh towards trans women
it's okay if you're not perfectly feminine or if you don't fit into any type of box. it's okay if you need time to accept things. and many trans people do end up viewing their lives as "halves". many older trans women i've met have told me about "when they were living as a boy/man" and when they began living as a woman. i've met trans men who say the inverse. it's okay if you feel like you were a boy/man at at one point and are no longer. it's okay to feel like you were born in a boy/man's body and need to transition to make it feel like a girl's body, and your body. however you feel about it, you don't need to feel ashamed of yourself.
you're still a girl, Ren! you're still transfem. imposter syndrome is tough, i hope it eases up for you soon. you don' thave to jump through any hurdles to be transfem- so many transfems out there feel just the same way you do. it's okay
hope that helps, take care for now. please feel free to ask any more questions you may have!
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sweet and sour
pairing: suna rintarou x reader wc: 880 tags: fluff, fake dating, (real) jealousy, party setting ofc, reader wears makeup and is shorter than suna
Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.
It had been after his last linear algebra exam, during his third consecutive hour of mourning, when it finally occurred to him that it didn't matter. Of course, it mattered in the sense that it would affect his GPA, and as a result, his job prospects, career, ability to be approved for a mortgage and become a homeowner, and of course his retirement. But in a more 'in the moment' sense, it didn't matter at all.
This was because, he'd rationalized, it had already happened and there was no use agonizing over it after the fact. And so, for a few short days, Suna abided by the belief that if he couldn't change something, he simply wouldn't bring himself to care about it.
So when you drag him into the tiny bathroom of someone's apartment with a swipe of glitter under your left eye and a frazzled expression on your pretty face, Suna is fully prepared to put his new philosophy into action.
The door shuts behind you, muffling the din of music and people and he tries not to think about how precariously close your drink is to the edge of the sink when you set it down.
"I need a favour," you begin, wringing your wrists as he tries not to fall backwards into the shower. It is, in fact, a very tiny bathroom.
"Nah," he replies, managing to right himself against the towel rack.
"'Nah'?" you repeat, jutting out your bottom lip. "But you don't even know what I'm going to ask."
He rationalizes that it can't be anything worth putting in the effort for. Therefore would it even make sense for him to hear you out? He thinks not.
However, as he eyes the door behind you, your face bobs into view, obstructing his path to escape.
"Please," you whine, dropping down from a tippy toe. "Just hear me out."
He glances once at his reflection in the mirror before his gaze slides up to the ugly white light on the ceiling.
"Fine."
"Yes," you exclaim, your elbow narrowly missing the cup. Suna looks away.
"Okay, so my ex is here with his new girlfriend," you begin, your hands moving fast, "and so I would really, really be so grateful if you could maybe, possibly, pretend that we're together."
He blinks. "Nah."
Your face falls. "But I'm gonna look like a loser out there."
He wonders if the glitter is supposed to draw attention to your eyes. If so, why just one side?
"That doesn't even make any sense," he says. "No one cares that you're single." After all, no one cares that he's single. Except for himself, sometimes, although, he's learning to let go of that.
You're pouting again. "I care. And I'm pretty sure that he cares. Chiharu said that he told the other guys on the soccer team that he was bringing her because he knew that I'd be here. Like, isn't that kind of fucked up?"
Something like irritation wriggles in his brain but he quickly shuts that down. After all, what can he really change about the situation? Even if he does pretend to be your boyfriend for tonight, your ex will continue to be a convincing piece of evidence that Neanderthals might still walk amongst modern humans. And even then, you'll still be hung up on him and things between you two will just stay the same. So why should he bother?
"I'm gonna pass," he says dryly, squeezing past you to get to the door. Your elbow brushes against the cup and it falls, clattering into the sink and splashing red liquid down the sides.
"Just tell him to go fuck himself or something," he shrugs, before twisting the doorknob. "Or just pretend he's not there at all."
"But Rin," you pout as he lets the chaos of the party flood into the small space, "I thought we were friends."
And you are friends, he thinks, as he shoulders his way back through the crowd. That's the problem.
That's the fucking problem.
So when he spots you, fifteen minutes later, with your back up to a wall and that Cro-Magnon specimen crowding you, he thinks it's finally time to seriously reconsider his philosophy.
And sometime in the five steps it takes to cross the room does he finally come to the conclusion that enlightenment just isn't for him.
"Hey, angel," he says as he turns you around to face him. Your lips are parted in surprise and the glitter reflects fuchsia and gold in the low light.
He's acutely aware that the two of you are not alone, but he can't bring himself to look away. Something like a second epiphany dawns on him.
"Sorry it took a while," he murmurs as he leans down to meet your gaze.
"But better late than never, right?"
Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.
But right now, tonight, as you let him kiss you in front of all the people you know, he decides that inner peace is entirely overrated.
#haikyuu x reader#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintarou x reader#haikyuu x y/n#suna rintaro x y/n#from: linde
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This might be long, but it really annoys me that the BoBs focus so hard on Buddie being cannon. They don't care about the cannon Eddie. I don't think they understand how it can destroy you to lose the love of your life. Then add the unresolved anger and guilt and Eddie is not okay. He's barely dealt with any of it.
I haven't liked Eddie since the Kim situation started. And it's because he forgot about Chris. My husband died a few years ago and I'll be real, I'm not over it. But I made my kids, his kids my first priority. It's not been perfect, of course. My daughter had developmental delays, not as severe as Chris's, but still. She's had people act like she's a burden and like they don't like her. She was worried that anyone I may date in the future might not like her. I told her I wouldn't date anyone that didn't like her. She (and her brother) would always come first. I honestly would be devastated if I drove my two kids away.
I know Eddie loves Chris, but he has been callous with his feelings by introducing girlfriends before things got serious and allowing Chris to form attachments with them. So, even more people left him. Chris's abandonment issues rival, if they don't surpass Buck's. But with Kim, Eddie completely forgot to think about how this would effect Christopher, how traumatic it would be for Chris to even see her, when his feelings for his mom are so conflicted. Eddie was so focused on his own feelings, because he never dealt with his grief and anger, that he invited Kim into their house. Not just Eddie's house, but Christopher's house too. A place where he should feel safe.
Chris has every right to be angry with his father. His father probably no longer feels safe (emotionally) to him. Until Eddie works on himself, makes real amends and shows Chris he is working on himself, he won't get anywhere with Chris. In fact, he could lose him altogether.
It's not too late. Chris loves his father and I bet he wants to make up with him. But it's not safe for him to and he is too angry. Eddie will have to make the first move and not just a call where he pretends everything is okay. And Eddie will have to go at Chris's pace. This kind of betrayal isn't healed quickly. Maybe it will be, because it's TV, but it shouldn't be.
I want to like Eddie again, he's a good guy and I know he wants to be a good father. He needs to fix this. Then and only then, should he worry about his love life. But it won't be with Buck. Because Eddie is straight and Buck and Tommy is such a fun story.
I adore this!! It's exactly how I feel about the Eddie situation!! ❤️
And hugs to you, mama!! I'm so sorry for your loss 🫂 you sound like an amazing person, a wonderful parent, and a beautiful soul ❤️
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dawg as stupid as Omoon was acting these past few days, he was right about something. He is absolute SHIT at comforting people dhdjjfjdkfn. like holy shit your brother is greiving the loss of someone he loved, who he had to kill with his own two hands, and your response is to go on some sob story about how you aren't as cool and smart as people make you out to be and how you're a terrible brother but also you're still smart and stuff so 'ohh sunny if i'm bad just tell me, i'll still be your brother its okay, but the person your greiving was EVIL and STUPIDer!!!! im doing so much better then he did see!!!' like fuck moon you just said the most sob story nothing speech i've ever seen. and then said he'll leave and sun should just drown his feelings.
i was watching solar send hate beams through the back of moons head the whole time jdhfkf 'i don't think you where saying most of that to sun' just hit it on the head babe, you don't gotta baby him its okay to tell him that was shit LMAO
This ask is so fucking funny /pos
I sincerely hope Solar directly confronts Moon about this in upcoming episodes- cause I feel like this man is sick of seeing Moon's be assholes to their loved ones, and Solar has a lot of pent-up feelings about the Nexus situation too, I think. He's always been good at hiding those, but his emotions come out in tidal waves. If the dam breaks when he snaps at Moon, then the whole flood is coming.
And listen. I understand that Moon is not good at emotions, but now that he's finally talked to Sun and Sun has basically told him that what he needs is for Moon to just be there for him because he misses Nexus and he needs his family there with him so he's not alone in mourning his lost brother, Moon's response being "FUCK NEXUS" and then leaving Sun be to "bury his feelings" is. That's so fucking dumb of him, man. Respect to Moon enjoyers but he's being so dumb rn it's making me even more of a little hater than usual. I get that he might just be trying to help in his own way, but the way his help is being given is directly contradicting what Sun wants and needs right now. And that is not okay.
AND we know Moon is capable of proper forms of comfort because we saw him do so in the July 16th aftermath episodes. He was so kind and patient and sweet to Sun during that time, and he was there for him. He needs to do better, because we all know he can.
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New Voice Messages (Part Three)
Lucifer
"Hey. I know it's late and you're probably asleep, so you don't have to respond to this right away. I should be asleep, but I keep tossing and turning whenever I try, so I gave up on that hours ago. I'm currently sitting on the rooftop, looking up at the night sky. Well, and recording this message, but that's self-explanatory, I feel. *sighs* Don't mind my rambling. I'm both incredibly tired and slightly tipsy. I finally got around to trying the bottle of Demonus that Diavolo gave us as a housewarming gift, and it's pretty decent. I had a couple glasses of it before coming up here, thinking that it'd help put me to sleep. Obviously, it hasn't, but it was worth trying, I suppose. I at least feel like I can respond to your note without choking on my words or banging my head in frustration. *briefly pauses* Given the way you signed off on it, I'm going to assume that you trust me enough to not abuse your old name. That's also why I'm outside. Less likely to be overheard using it by my brothers. If that's okay with you. If it's not, feel free to tell me off for it the next time we meet. So, MC. *pauses again before lightly singing MC's name* Have I ever told you it's a pretty name? Saying it is comforting somehow. *clears his throat* Sorry. Like I said, I'm a bit drunk."
"Feeling more in control now. Might still ramble a bit, but hopefully not as much as before. *takes a deep breath* The first time I read your note, I ended up crying. Not because you said something wrong, but because it was...sweet? Is that the word I'm looking for? *briefly pauses as a gust of wind gets picked up on the mic* It'll have to do for now, I guess. Anyway...it's interesting how you and Diavolo said more or less the same thing, and yet I'm more inclined to listen to you than I am to him. Perhaps it's the difference in tone? I could definitely tell that he was getting frustrated with me towards the end of our phone call. I know there's a part of him that sees me as a really shiny toy, one that he's quite territorial over. If I were to leave his side, he'd throw a massive fit, I'd imagine, and he might start a war over it. Which is silly. I'm not worth fighting over. *pauses* And yet everyone seems to for some reason. It's like I cause people to lose their minds. I don't know if it's due to the amount of titles and prestige I've had or my physical appearance or something else entirely, but they seem to all go into hysteria after spending any significant amount of time with me. Except for you, MC. You don't care about Lucifer Morningstar, former Lightbringer, Avatar of Pride, yadda yadda yadda. You simply see me as me, if that makes sense. You want to make sure that I'm okay, and you don't expect anything in return. It's a way of repaying back the kindness bestowed upon you in your situation, I suppose. And it'd be cruel of me to ignore all of that and still plunge to my death. So I'm staying. *pauses* You're right. This does feel weird. You better make good on your promise, MC, or I may end up changing my mind again. *chuckles* Don't take that last part too seriously. I'm merely messing with you a bit."
"You know, I wonder what my brothers are thinking about this...offer being made to us. I already know Mammon and Beel would stay, and Belphie's going to do whatever Beel does, but I'm not sure about Levi and Asmo. I mean, you were there when Asmo was yelling at me about leaving the Celestial Realm. Do you think he's eagerly packing his bags as we speak, or--"
A Few Hours Later
"Sorry about the abrupt ending of my last message. Mammon caught me on the rooftop. We ended up talking for a while. *pauses* The two of us have an interesting relationship. Kinda similar to the one I have with Satan. Mammon's sort of my brother and sort of my son, except he didn't spring out of me like Satan did. He's the first angel I felt the need to protect. Everyone else was prepared to throw him away, even though he was merely a child. I couldn't sit back and let them treat him like that, especially not after I held him in my arms as he was crying. He was around the Chihuahua's age when that happened. *clears his throat* I apologize. I know you don't like me calling Luke a chihuahua. I really am trying not to. *pauses* So yeah. Satan's technically the third oldest, since he came into existence in my mind shortly after I took Mammon under my wing. Levi came into the picture when Mammon was a teenager, and the others when he was just becoming a fully-grown angel. *pauses again* It was actually Mammon that insisted that we take care of them, and he was so earnest about it that I couldn't say no. I mean, the fact that he was willing to do for others what I've done for him...I was quite proud of him. Still am, even though he insists on putting on a persona these days. I know deep down, he still cares about everyone. *pauses yet again* Is it weird that I feel comfortable sharing all of this with you, MC? It might be the alcohol still affecting me, but somehow I don't think it is. I...I think I've come to trust you. Completely. I haven't even gotten there with Diavolo yet, and I've known him a lot longer. *chuckles* You truly are special, little lamb. *silence* Shit. That wasn't supposed to be said out loud. I better go before I start calling you more silly nicknames. Good night, MC."
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix
#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#obey me mc#in the morning solomon catches mc giggling multiple times as they listen to all of lucifer's messages in their entirety#also mc finds a way to take lucifer's phone and changes their contact name on there to “little lamb” with a heart emoji next to it#both to tease him and to assure him that they're cool with the nickname
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` ` OOPS! I'M DOOMED...
whoops, looks like you caught yourself in quite the situation! when your homeroom teacher pairs you up with satoru gojo, your one and only; academic rival, for a project, your conflicted. as satoru himself would say, "sorry honey, the world doesn't work like rainbows and sunshines."
mara's notes! — back with another lame fic, i genuinely might have writers block or something because my ideas are non existing atp😭 send help yall PLEASE and i hope u guys enjoy it!!
"satoru gojo and y/n y/l/n, you both will be together for the project time."
you couldn't stop your eyes from widening as you froze in your seat.
satoru gojo!?
what the hell did your homeroom teacher think she was doing? pairing two people who absolutely despised each other, together for a project!?
your sure she knew. how could she not? you two are the only ones who compete in competitions that involve alot of debating, in another word, arguing?
or how you both would start to argue about how to pronounce different vowels in japanese, and how he'd ask you questions you didn't have the answer to when you'd be doing a presentation?
it was pure hatred.
"class will be dismissed in 5 minutes, until then, please pair up with your partner and discuss." your teacher smiled, before diverting her question to her book, scribbling notes on it. chairs started to move, and you start to frown. how are you gonna survive?
she stops, glancing up. "also, there will be a total of 6 times you will have to meet up. its a must, and you must complete these 6 meet ups to make sure you haven't missed anything."
your done for.
"get back here!"
god he was fast.
but that was all you could hear. okay, you may or may not be sprinting or running for your life away from the tall white haired boy who was chasing after you.
"leave me alone!" you cried, shoes hitting the ground as you turn the corner, huffing and puffing as you hope he leaves you be.
"why are you running!?" he yelled, turning the corner after you and following you down the hallway of the big academy. you manage to not bump into anybody as you dodge the crowd. "because your chasing me!" you screamed, as other students gave you both knowing looks. it was probably normal, then again.
"fuck— stop running! really, i'm not gonna stop until you stop!"
you turn another corner into a more secluded hallway, and then you trip, foot slipping as you yelp loudly, bag falling out of your hand as you fall forward, if it wasn't for a pair of arms slipping around your waist, you definitely would have face planted!
but then again, that's how you ended up in an empty study room in the library. satoru gojo had dragged you there, and he was too strong to even protest against anyways. poor you!
"i want to go home." you mutter, dropping your pen on the page full of notes that you just written. "after this, we have 5 more meetings to make so just keep writing or we won't get anything done now."
you frown.
"stop looking at me like that." he lifts his head, eyes meeting yours as he narrows his eyes as a silent threat, you don't hesitate to pick up your pen and keep your head down. "bully." you mindlessly mutter under my breath.
he's gonna act like that didn't tug a small smile at his mouth, yeah.
a few days later, you think your more than halfway through your project. wait, you think? maybe it's because you've been telling satoru off for being lazy when he's the one telling you off, and oh, we can't forget! you may or may not have caught him staring at you. you blink, and suddenly his eyes are on the book, which is odd. are you going insane? maybe it's the air of his dorm room.
okay, you might have been spending time in his dorm. he might have been feeding you snacks, and you both might have been bonding.
that sounds like a crime.
you also have his number now! he sends weird messages, did i mention?
gojo: sugs told me u have a date???
gojo: btw u need to cancel it bc we need to study some extra contents on the project
you: wait what??? but we've finished the project
gojo: i told u we need to study
gojo: get ur ass in my room before i drag u
you: i can't cancel the date it's a date gojo
gojo: too bad too sad, im waiting
matter of fact, he did have to drag you. and you actually didn't mean to blank the guy you had a date with but it wasn't your fault. somehow his contact disappeared from your phone. you didn't have a lock on your phone, but at the same time you didn't suspect anybody.
that makes you more unlucky.
now, your labelled as "satoru gojo's girlfriend" but how the hell did this even happen? maybe you didn't even realise when you started to fall in love with him, gaze meeting with his, hands accidentally touching when you'd walk together, and the butterflies in the pit of your stomach when he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear when it got in your face.
whatever, young love, as they say!
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk satoru#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#jjk nanami#nanami kento#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu kaisen choso#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu gojo#mara's work
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Partner in Crime
Pairing: Javier Peña x female reader
Summary: One of the things between you and your dream career as an agent is Javier Peña.
Author's Note: English is not my first language! Excuse me if there any mistake, I hope y'all can understand what I'm saying.
Warnings: flirting, tension, fun, mention of drinks, sex - I might add something else on the way.
Part 01 | Part 02
____________
I am looking at the ceiling and trying to sleep as I’m nervous about tomorrow.
The last pre-tests were okay and I did well, but tomorrow is the final test. That determines my future. Everything I’ve been dreaming about.
Besides, there’s one thing that might get in the way. And his name is Javier Peña.
Peña doesn’t want me to get the job. Of course not. I was the kid who used to laugh at him in kindergarten because he pronounced some words incorrectly. But that wasn’t just me. The whole class used to do it. I was just one more. Now I know that is not an excuse and I was not right to do it, but I was a kid. I’ve learned a lot since then and I’m a totally different person now. I just might got the chance to prove that to him now.
But he seems to never forget those years and life happened. He happens to be one of the judges of my tests to become an agent that will work alongside him.
Of course I wouldn’t want to work with him either, but it’s my only chance. I got away from home and now this is the only opportunity I have to make it on my own.
“It’s okay” I think. “You can make it”.
The pre-tests were a bunch of forms we had to fill, but the final test is personal. Besides physical and mental tests, we have a challenge we need to overcome. Whoever do the right things gets to be Peña’s partner.
So I take a deep breath and try again to fall sleep.
I’m up and making my breakfast as I try to stay calm. I decided to make this anxiety my ally and use it in my favor. That means I get there early, get ready and get shit done.
I take a shower, brush my teeth and put on the comfortable clothes I’ve chosen: a white t-shirt, a legging and a white sporty sneakers. I fix up my short hair, grab a bag with some stuff I might need and leave to the department building it’ll take place.
I am not the first one to get there, but the second. That makes my anxiety come back a little bit. But nothing to worry about, I’m super focused.
As I go inside the department, I am told to wait in a big white room with some chairs where my opponent is waiting too. I give him a smile and sit at the back. As some people arrive, I can see through a glass at the wall people walking, coming and going. At some point, my heart almost stops at the glimpse I saw of him. “How am I letting him trough my emotions like this?” I focus again and try to chill. After some minutes the class has about 10 people and a woman comes in. She looks and talks like a leader.
— May I have your attention. Welcome. I am Emily, co-director of the department and today you will be doing your final tests to start your career as an agent. At least one of you. You will be called as soon as possible. Good luck.
She leaves the room and I start to get nervous again. But I don’t even have time to get nervous because I am the first called.
First is the mental test. All it is: a conversation with a psychologist and answer a few questions about how I normally react at some situations.
Then, it’s the physical. I have to push some weights, do some exercises that requires my reflection and fight with a doll.
“I’m doing great so far” I think with myself.
Now the challenge. The part I was most excited about. I am really good at solving things and that’s why I think I gotta a good chance.
I’m lead to another room, like an auditorium, where there’s a bunch of people. I can see Emily through and, of course, my eyes go directly to the corner where Javier Peña is looking right back at me. Everyone is silent.
At the front of the room there’s this big desk with a map, a pen and a tablet. In the tablet, there’s the description of the task. I need to find the criminal to a crime that was committed 15 years ago. There’s some clues and a history I read to and my brain just gets into work. I take my time but I’m betting the time also counts in this, so I am going as fast as I can.
I take about half an hour to find a suspect and I need to speak how I’ve come to that result. I talk on how I found some clues that were not in the description and how I got at the suspect by elimination in that case. I am secure and that reflects in the way I talk, so I feel thankful. When I’m done, Emily says an Okay and tells me I can leave the room.
As I get outside the adrenaline kicks in and I feel my heart accelerating. I’m thinking “have I done everything I could?” “what if I let something pass by me” “what if I got it wrong” I come back to earth when this other woman is trying to talk to me but I wasn’t listening.
— What?
— I said you can come with me.
She leads me into the first room I was, where there’s nobody now, and tells me I can wait there. I go to the same chair I was in the back and wait for the others to come.
I let the anxiety take over me. I am having these negative thoughts. Specially thinking that Peña will do everything to not make me his partner.
Suddenly we are 10 people again in that room and Emily comes in.
— Well done everybody. As you know, you will know the result in three days. You can leave now and good luck.
“Three fucking days”
I go outside needing some coffee – like I’m not anxious enough – and there’s this cafe at the corner of the department building. I go inside and order my coffee. I grab it and when I turn around there’s Peña behind me.
— Jesus! — I almost yelled.
— It’s Javier — he says like this meeting is no big deal — I know you remember.
— Of course. Peña. — I try to chill — Good to see you.
— Really?
— Yes. Sure. I mean, it’s a familiar face.
He smiles with the corner of his mouth.
The waitress is waiting to get his order.
— Next!
— Go ahead. I need to go anyway. Good to see you again!
I leave desperately and embarrassed. As soon as I get home I started thinking “should I have said something different?” “I should have enjoyed the opportunity to ask him about the test” “I should’ve apologized” “for what?” “shit forget it”
I get into bed and try to convince my brain that we have three days of waiting.
#javier pena x reader#javier pena fanfiction#fanfic#narcos#javier pena#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#javier pena fanfic#narcos fanfiction#pedropascaledit
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miss oranje's faves: self-recs edition
i'm not used to praising myself bc i am my biggest hater, not my biggest fan, but i was tagged by the lovely @gothcsz to participate in @jolapeno 's 'tootathon' challenge, and i originally was going to pass up the opportunity butttt i suppose i'll *try* to say nice things about myself but i love the people in this fandom so i always enjoy participating in the fun, particularly something that promotes positivity when fandoms can be so toxic sometimes. honestly, i might need to steal this idea and make a positivity challenge for the resident evil fandom (which is what i primarily write for) because we are in need of good vibes…
*because my blog is multi-fandom, my masterlist is getting big overall, so i'm going to link my javi fics and my joel fics (along with my liztober '24 because there are a couple other pedro character fics on there)
i haven't been a part of the pedro pascal fandom for long, so my work here is limited, but i will share a few things:
it's never over (javi p x reader) - a two part fic (part one is from javi's perspective, part two is from reader's)
I really liked the concept for this fic and it was something that I wrote bits and pieces of for a while. I tried to change it to a single pov because i think i’m not someone who does well with pov switches like this, but it never captured the full scope of the story i wanted to tell when i tried to make it only javi’s or only reader’s. Ultimately, while i’d like to add onto this fic because i would like to expand upon reader’s pov, i like the story that i told in the end (i love angst). Maybe there will be a part 3…
2. and for dessert? (javi p x reader) - a short, mildly smutty story about javi and a housekeeper at a hotel
i hated this fic for a while because i got caught up in the numbers but i reread it last night and i was like, ‘okay, the concept is incredibly silly, but i guess in some way, that’s the point’. Anyway, when i looked back and stopped focusing on the numbers, i realized that i actually really like this fic, and probably wouldn’t change anything about it.
3. anniversary antics (joel x reader) - joel and his wife getting it on ... heavy breeding kink here
i wrote this in an hour or so. it just came to me. straight from the smutty brain (which is rare). this is one of the few fics of mine that i re-read and actually think 'oh this is hot'!
4. everything's bigger in texas (joel x reader) - for my liztober celebration! reader loses her virginity to joel and it's a sweet and short smut.
this is my second most popular tumblr post of all time (so it doesn’t need promo here), which is very funny because i almost didn't post this at all. i thought the size kink might be too basic and overdone but i also really wanted to write an 'older' reader as i have a tendency to write younger readers (which is partially because i am 24 and have never been older than 24 vs i have been 21 etc.) and i wanted to get away from the typical innocent virgin thing.
and also, we're gonna get personal here... i'm pretty sure i have vaginismus and so it's really really difficult to have sex. i've been shamed or questioned rather than reassured during situations where i struggle or am entirely unable to. reader in this fic was not specified to have vaginismus because i was trying to keep it light and smutty, flipping it around into a size kink, but it was a bit healing to write tbh.
I’m pretty sure everyone has already been tagged but i’ll tag some of my mutuals just in case:
@clawdee @evolnoomym @baronessvonglitter @the-mandawhor1an
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hii i just wanted to ask about the accuracy of the statement of "Talia abducted Jason during when he was arguably at his most vulnerable cuz catatonic and took advantage of his state (+no Bats knowing Jason came back to life) to indebt him to her and a cult + groom him to be a tool for whatever goal she had in mind" or if it's fanon and your opinions on this idea (+ actual canon if this statement is in fact fanon)
but just like how we play with the scale of good parent, bad parent Bruce we could also fuck around and do so much with this concept (fanon or not)
Hi! I'm not as familiar with this, so let's do the research together ^^ It's gonna be a long post!
I've heard many many many people curse out a few writers (I'm shitty at remembering names) for being a racist pieces of shit. I've also heard of Talia being thrown under the bus by a lot of writers. Here's a link to a wonderful Tumblr post that goes into Talia and how writers fucked over her character.
There's other posts, but this one quickly summaries what they did to Talia and briefly mentions the assassination of Ra's character as well.
Here's a post that goes further into Ra's character.
On that note, I have seen a few fics play around with two ideas that were (as far as I'm aware) retconned: Damian's conception being unconsensual and Talia having sexual relations with Jason.
As long as you keep in mind that these were retconned and come from racist, sexist, or both connotations, it's okay to explore the impact these actions would have on all characters involved (especially if we're utilizing the reasoning that Talia wasn't in her right mind during those actions).
That's a basic summary of why there's heavy debate around Talia and the al Ghuls as a whole.
Now! Let's get into Talia and Jason specifically!!!!
The comic run we want to look into is Red Hood - The Lost Days. I am unsure if there are any other comics that cover post-death Jason but pre-Red Hood. If anyone has any other canon material that covers or mentions this time period, feel free to comment, reblog, etc.
This is Talia's initial reaction to hearing about Jason:
She expresses concern, worry, and grief for Bruce
She then has spies give her updates on Bruce's situation. Everyone else states Bruce is "stepping up his game." She calls them fools (since Bruce is obviously just hurting)
Very quickly, we get into her discovery of Jason Todd:
So. Jason's catatonic and Talia was ordered not to inform Bruce. Regardless of if she wanted to, she would be betraying her father if she told Bruce
Then I'm just going to drop all of these panels:
This shows she somewhat cares about him. Whether that's for Jason or because of Bruce, that's irrelevant. She still cares and wants him to get better. She wants him to go home.
Talia only pushes Jason into the Lazarus Pits because she's run out of time
Now... she may be an unreliable narrator. She states she's doing this for Jason's sake, but it does seem like it's more for her own. Regardless, she doesn't have ill intentions.
Talia dips Jason in the Pits and then tosses him out
That line of hers seems suspicious, but I see it more as her trying to hide the fact she had Jason for so long. It's less "go be mad at Bruce" and more "gods, what is Bruce gonna think of me if Jason shows up on his doorstep?"" Selfish, but not in the way fanon characterizes it.
She had trackers on the bag, though. She just needed him away from Ra's
Ra's tells Talia she fucked up, Jason tries to blow up the batmobile, and then tries to tell Talia he didn't lose his nerve for revenge against Bruce
Talia realizes that reviving Jason with the Pit might have fucked Jason up
Jason asks Talia for her help with revenge against Bruce. Talia did not set that up. Jason was the one to suggest it without influence
Talia obviously does not want to be helping Jason right now. She still agrees, though
Let me just toss this here too:
So... She's not doing this completely because she cares about Jason or that it's the right thing, but she also sure as hell does not want Jason to be going down this revenge path
Despite all of this, there's this:
They then proceed to fuck.
Which is gross as hell, and how some people can say that she took advantage of him
I think them fucking got retconned, though....
So, it's slightly complicated?
In my personal opinion, the final answer is: "It is fanon!"
There may be some truth or canon behind it, but that most likely comes from more racist characterizations of her character. However, the canon material that explicitly covers this topic makes it clear:
"Talia was selfish with her help to Jason. She wants Bruce to love her. She thus ends up hiding Jason's existence out of fear of Bruce's reaction. She does not want Jason to be mad at Bruce or fight his dad."
This also matches the other characterization I've seen of this: "Talia uses the distraction technique to try to hold Jason back from murdering his own father. 'You can't murder Bruce without training, Jason.'"
To continue, whether Talia should've told Bruce or not is an entirely different matter. Sometimes, I've avoided telling people shit out of fear, which made the situations worse. It wasn't great of her to do that, but in no way should this villainze her. I also 100% love that this gives her a flaw. People make mistakes. She's trying. She may have gone about it poorly, but she did what she thought she could. It was selfish, but I don't blame her.
She could've also convinced Jason to give up his mission entirely right before they fucked. That's where it gets murky.
You are absolutely correct that we can use the fanon idea of the al Ghuls manipulating Jason. On the other hand, I haven't seen enough fics where Talia treats Jason like an unruly toddler instead.
"No, Jason. We can't murder Bruce. Obviously, you need training first." Her visible reaction is a motherly rolling eyes. Internally, she's just panicking ("fuck fuck fuck fuck. How do I curb bloodlust? How do I stop patricide? Procrastination!!!")
Anyways, thanks for bringing the question up! It allowed me to look into it and put my thoughts in order ^^
Feel free to read the rest of the run!
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