#to sever a loveless bond

[fletchingbrilliant]

To Sever a Loveless Bond Chapter Eight

Read the fic by @zaebeecee HERE!

Welcome to Fletch doesn't know how to edit down, part seventy-five-thousand

But I also don't regret it

By the way here's your reminder that I am an NSFW creator, but since I do Hellaverse ANYTHING that should hopefully go without saying. anyway. you never know.

We love Alastor having an asexual panic. Been there buddy.

The assistant talking to Angel Dust is named Wire, she's got a bit part in this chapter and I like her, she was really fun to design~

I love Rocky, justice for Rocky <3

See the other chapter artwork here:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five pt. 1

Chapter Five pt. 2

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

[zaebeecee]

To Sever A Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 23/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

•••

Y’all ready for a resolution? Well, that’s too bad.

We’re at the “character talks about emotional shit with everyone except the person they should be talking about emotional shit with” arc of any romance story. Don’t worry, Alastor’s gonna get this treatment too. (Also, all backstory in this story is a product of headcanon, so it might contradict canon but I don’t really care)

•••

The month after VoxTek: Angel’s POV ••

• Week One

Angel felt the gentle thunk of the door closing through the metal handle, and with it, he felt as though something inside him had been irrevocably severed. A sort of numbness unlike anything he had ever felt before settled over him like a weighted blanket, stifling and painful without reaching the satisfying threshold of truly masochistic suffocation.

Immediately, Angel wanted to turn around, storm back into Alastor’s room, and tear him a new asshole for thinking he could be so dismissive of Angel after… after everything that had happened. Alastor would deserve it, Angel would feel good about it, and if Alastor got mad and then got violent, all the better, because it would be so much easier to be pissed at Alastor for breaking his bones than it was to be pissed at him for…

doing what we agreed on?

And that was precisely why Angel released the door handle and began walking back down the hallway. This had been the plan from the start after all, hadn’t it? It wasn’t Alastor’s fault that Angel, in his infinite capacity to fuck everything up, had decided to catch real feelings for what might have been the first time ever and felt like he could die at the prospect of never even being able to touch him again. But that was completely selfish, Angel knew that, and he had agreed to the temporary arrangement. After all, if Alastor hadn’t left Rosie’s in the first place, it would have been broken days ago, right?

Halfway down the hall, Angel heard the distant click of Alastor’s door locking again, and the spider had to resist the nearly overwhelming urge to physically hunch in on himself. Instead, he just kept walking, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to just spend another full week in bed.

“Angel? Are you okay?”

The spider came to a stop and raised his head, blinking a few times as he realized he was only three feet away from the check in desk where Charlie and Vaggie were in the middle of designing another new flyer for the hotel (in colored pencil and marker instead of crayon this time, which was at the very least an improvement). Charlie was looking right at him, her eyes wide and concerned, while Vaggie was still bent over the paper as though working but completely unmoving, giving away how closely she was paying attention. Husk, on the other side of the lobby, wasn’t even trying to disguise his own pointed stare.

Fuck.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Angel said, automatically slipping into his masking voice and waving Charlie’s concern off. “Just checkin’ in on the boogieman back there, s’all. I’m goin’ back to my room now.”

“Angel, wait…!”

But Angel didn’t wait, ignoring Charlie’s words as he took the stairs three at a time and vanished as quickly as he could down the hallway. He didn’t slow down until he was back in his room with the door securely closed and locked, and then he stood there, looking the place over and trying to think only of how to best set up a little cam studio in his space.

I already knew I was starting over. I guess this is just another thing to restart. Not a big deal. It’ll be fine.

I’m fine.

•••

• Week Two

The next week passed with little fanfare or activity. Though Angel was up and out of bed, he found he got winded easily, limiting the amount of time he was able to walk around before he needed to find somewhere to sit. Most days, he would hang out in the lobby for a while before Alastor invariably showed up to ask Charlie something or dictate a request to Husk and Niffty. Whenever that happened, Angel either retreated to his room, went into the back garden, or both if the weather was nice enough to let Fat Nuggets run around outside for a bit.

It was as though everything had changed, somehow, even if Angel knew logically that not much had. He and Alastor had only been fucking around for a month, so that stopping wasn’t really a change so much as just a return to normal. But they still had the same residents, the same team building exercises, the same bouts of utter boredom… the only thing that had really changed was that Angel had quit his job and gotten a new one.

Well, Niffty had started leaving the hotel more often. That one was new, and Angel still didn’t know what to think of it, because the one time he asked her what she’d been up to, she’d simply giggled and run away.

The point was that even though everything was essentially the same, it all felt different. He couldn’t decide if it was the air in the hotel, or something about everyone else, or maybe something about him… whatever it was, it was the kind of nebulous sensation that made his skin itch from an inability to fix it. He wondered if part of it was the fact that he could tell Charlie wanted to ask if he was okay every time she laid eyes on him, and the fact that she had restrained herself so far wasn’t much comfort when she stared at him whenever they were in the same room. But why wouldn’t he be fine? He hadn’t even cried.

Not since that night, anyway. And he wasn’t going to cry over Alastor anymore. It was a waste of time.

The cam work was already going promisingly well. Angel had a decently large following on his socials—it had been an enormous boost to his ego when he started seeing that he was getting followers from other Rings, too—and since he had already announced that he’d quit at VoxTek after beating Valentino up with a monitor and breaking Vox’s face (and wasn’t posting that nugget of gossip just… so freeing), it had only taken a suggestive post and a link drop to get new subscribers to start rolling in.

At this rate, he thought, he’d soon be making more for himself than he’d ever made through Val. When he’d been employed at VoxTek, he’d never been allowed to keep his own money; rather, as his contract dictated, all of his money was ‘kept safe for him’ by Valentino, who paid him an allowance each week. The amount was subject to Valentino’s whims, and it hadn’t been unusual for Angel to go months without seeing a cent of it. That was different now too, though, wasn’t it? He would actually be able to start saving money. He could even get his own fucking place, if he really wanted to.

…did he want to do that?

When the weekend rolled around, Angel felt good enough to get out for a while, so he dolled himself up and promised Charlie he’d be back later before heading out of the hotel. At first, he didn’t have a destination in mind—he could go shopping, he could go to a club, he could go get laid—but after a bit of thought…

Gonna need to highjack a car.

Ten minutes later, Angel was driving out of Pentagram City and taking the road the short distance to Zahhak, the largest satellite they had out towards the west. Colloquially known as Imp City to most Sinners, Zahhak was an entirely (as far as Angel knew) Hellborn city that was mostly populated by those who worked either for or with Sinners. While Sinners were only confined to the Pride Ring, not to Pentagram City itself, they still never tended to branch out past the city’s outer limits if they could help it, meaning that their population in other parts of the Ring was almost zero. It was partially due to the fact that humans tended to stick together even when they hated each other, but Angel suspected it was because Sinners really didn’t get along with the rest of Hell. Hellborn had apparently never had a high opinion of Sinners, nor Sinners of Hellborn; to the Hellborn, Sinners were a bunch of infiltrators invading their home, and to Sinners, the Hellborn were a bunch of gross and unpredictable monsters that would slice you up as soon as look at you. Angel, though, had never really had much of an issue with Hellborn. He’d worked with them before, primarily Verosika Mayday, and he never had any more problems with them than he did with any given Sinner.

It took a bit for Angel to find his destination, unfamiliar with Zahhak as he was, but he soon pulled into a lot with a familiar van parked terribly, somehow taking up four spaces at a diagonal. Angel snorted under his breath and headed into the building, putting his sunglasses on top of his head as he made his way up the stairs. It looked like a bunch of the other spaces for rent were unoccupied, and Angel passed by several open doors that led to dark and empty rooms before he found his destination.

The only door with light visibly on led to a cute, if somewhat eclectic, waiting room with some mismatched furniture, a tank with two electric eels, and a receptionist’s desk positioned in a way that suggested it was put there so the receptionist couldn’t pretend she didn’t see clients come in. Even so, the girl didn’t look up, her feet kicked up on the desk and her eyes on her phone.

Angel tilted his head before walking over and putting two of his hands on his hips, staring down at the hellhound girl and just waiting for her to acknowledge him. Eventually, she sighed, letting her hand fall into her lap. “Yeah, yeah, welcome to IMP, the fuck do you want—”.

Her words trailed off into a whine as she looked up at Angel, her eyes going wide and her ears flattening back against her head. Angel smiled at her. “Hi,” he said. She didn’t speak. “You’re… Loona, right?” She nodded. “Your dad back there?” She nodded. “You gonna say somethin’?” She shook her head.

The door to the back office opened. “Hey, Loona, have you seen— oh.” Angel looked over and saw a young male imp, who was now staring up at him as well. “…crumbs.”

Angel snorted. “Will both of you chill the fuck out? I ain’t here to shoot you or nothin’.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one who did,” the imp, who Angel was pretty sure was called Moxxie, said. “Can… um, can I help you with something?”

“I dunno,” Angel said honestly, resisting the urge to fold his arms. “Guess I just wanted to come thank you and your boss.”

Moxxie opened his mouth before a voice shouted at him. “Moxxie, for fuck’s sake, has Loonie seen it or not??”

“Uh, sorry, Blitzø, but Angel Dust is out here.”

“OH FUCK YES.”

“Ow!! Dammit, Blitzø, you fuckin’ train wreck!!”

Angel listened to sounds of clambering and crashing, like someone was vaulting inelegantly over a cluttered desk, before the same imp he had seen after leaving Rosie’s barreled through the doorway and shoved Moxxie out of the way.

Angel covered his mouth with his hand, laughing at the way Moxxie protested his treatment. “I’m guessin’ you’re Blitzø, huh?”

“I’m honored a famous porn star knows my name,” Blitzø said with a sly grin. Angel’s smirk widened as another imp, who must have been Millie, came out of the office as well. “Since you haven’t pulled a gun on us, I’m guessing you aren’t here to kill us?” Blitzø guessed.

“Nope. If I was, you’d know.”

“Well, that’s good to know, at least. So… what can we do for you?”

Angel finally did cross his arms, drumming his fingers against the skin above his elbow as he thought. “…I dunno, really. Guess I just thought I’d drop by to thank you. You guys had some kinda hand in gettin’ my contract broken, right?”

Blitzø raised his hands. “I just took it to a guy who found a loophole.”

Millie smacked him on the arm. “Don’t be all modest,” she chided with a smile before looking up at Angel. “Don’t you worry ‘bout it none. Helpin’ out really was the least we could do after everythin’ we put you through.”

“Oh, hey, don’t worry about that. Vox woulda pulled the same kinda bullshit if he hadn’t hired the three of you,” Angel said. “And you got money, yeah? So no hard feelings.”

Moxxie was looking at him a bit critically. “…I know this isn’t my business, Mister… um…”

“Just call me Angel Dust, baby.”

“A-Angel Dust,” Moxxie said, his facial expression unchanging even as his cheeks began turning a noticeable shade of purple beneath the red. “I just wanted— are you okay? Both you and Alastor were in a pretty bad state when Charlie brought you in.”

Angel could feel the way his smile changed. “…I’m okay. Healin’ up just fine. Sinner and all.”

Moxxie nodded. “And Alastor? Charlie said… his arm…?”

Angel shrugged. “I… dunno, honestly. We ain’t spoken in about a week. You’d have to ask him if you wanna know details.”

“Wait, what?” Millie asked. “You ain’t— a week?! The fuck’s that about??”

“Millie, it’s not our business,” Moxxie said.

“Considering Alastor nearly killed me over all this, I feel it’s totally our business if he’s on his bullshit,” Blitzø countered. “And I know a man on his bullshit when I hear about it.”

“Fuck’s sake, everybody’s so worked up over this shit,” Angel groaned, looking up towards the ceiling. But… it couldn’t possibly hurt to tell them about it, right? They didn’t even live in the same city, and they were Hellborn. Besides, they already knew so many icky little details… what was one more?

And if I don’t tell someone soon, I’m gonna go nuts.

“He… got his arm torn off,” Angel said; it wasn’t any easier to say that out loud now than it was the first time he tried. “Had his mark on it. Guess he figures the whole thing’s over now, since it’s gone.”

Angel wasn’t sure what kind of response he expected to that, but it wasn’t what he got; Blitzø raised his hand to cover the side of his neck, almost like a reflex, while Moxxie looked almost incomparably sad suddenly. Millie, however, was slowly starting to look absolutely furious. “Oh, the fuck he did,” she said.

Angel raised an eyebrow at her. “What?”

Millie didn’t answer him, simply held her arm out across Blitzø to hold her open palm in front of Moxxie. “Moxxie. Keys.”

“Millie, honey—”

“Keys, Moxxie, don’t make me hotwire our car again.” Moxxie cursed under his breath and fished out a ring of keys, putting them in her palm. “Back in a bit,” Millie said, storming out of the office and slamming the door behind her.

Angel stared after her, blinking a few times. “…was it somethin’ I said?”

Moxxie sighed. “No, it… it’s just…” He hesitated, then said, “…could I talk to you outside for a minute?”

This was rapidly getting weirder. “Uh… sure.” As Moxxie turned to leave, Angel bent down, kissing Blitzø’s cheek. “Hit me up if you need a dancer for a party. I’ll do one for you for free, handsome.”

Blitzø’s eyes got huge and he put his fists under his chin. “This is the best day of my life.” As Angel followed Moxxie out, laughing a little, Blitzø continued, “Loonie, did you hear that?! Free stripper!”

“Good for you, don’t wanna hear about your erection.”

Moxxie led him out into the hallway, then up a flight of stairs and through a roof access door. Angel looked around, raising an eyebrow. “Afraid of bein’ overheard or somethin’?”

“Yeah,” Moxxie said. “It’s something I haven’t told Blitzø about and I don’t really want… he would make it a… a thing. But whatever Millie’s doing might end up affecting you and I feel you deserve a bit of forewarning.”

Angel folded his arms. “Makin’ me nervous here.”

Moxxie waved his hands. “No, sorry, I don’t mean to…” He took a deep breath, then started over. “You know how everyone in Hell has a soulmate mark? Even Hellborn?” Angel nodded once. “I don’t know how Sinners see it, but for the Hellborn, most of us see it as either one of the only good things Hell has to offer us, or something that’s… well. Bullshit. And there are some people who don’t care, of course, but…”

Angel could tell, by the look on Moxxie’s face, which one he was. He supposed he wasn’t surprised to learn that even the Hellborn had its romantics.

Moxxie didn’t finish his last sentence, just continuing, “Millie and I are married. Have been for a bit now. But we aren’t… we’re not soulmates. She’s never had her mark activated, and mine…” He cleared his throat. “…well. Mine isn’t going to… be a problem, I guess you could say.”

“…I’m sorry,” Angel said, unsure of what else to say.

“Oh, no, I don’t mean… I love Millie,” Moxxie said firmly. “I’ve loved her more than anything or anyone I’ve ever known. And Millie has always said she doesn’t care about marks, whether hers matches her partner or not, or even if she ever meets her soulmate. But… a lot of people do care, and there’s this atmosphere around some people that if you aren’t with your soulmate, any other relationship will fail.”

Angel raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t really tell me why she got all worked up.”

Moxxie ran his hand through his hair. “…her parents… don’t like me. I’m not their type of person—they’re ranchers out in Wrath and I’m from a Greed city—but they’re some of the people who think a relationship will fail if you’re not soulmates. Millie says they hound her about it every time she visits home, and she’s gotten to the point that if she hears someone make a claim that a mark is a make or break sort of thing, she gets… really mad.”

Angel stared at him, trying to put the words together with Millie’s actions. “…what, is she gonna go yell at Alastor? Is she nuts?”

“She’s definitely nuts, yes. But I don’t think she’ll do anything drastic. …I really hope she doesn’t,” Moxxie added in a mutter, putting his face in his hands and grumbling something about already having to deal with Blitzø.

“…Y’know this don’t make sense, right?” Angel asked. “So me and Alastor ain’t doin’… whatever we were doin’. Why the fuck would she care?”

Moxxie allowed his hands to fall. “…she was the first one who wanted to pull out of the job the Vees gave us,” he said, hesitating just a little.

Angel frowned. “…why…?”

“Because she…” Moxxie looked up for a moment, then looked at Angel again. “…because she saw the way he was looking at you.”

•

Ten minutes later, Angel was on his way back to Pentagram City, eyes fixed unseeingly on the road.

He had assured Moxxie he would be okay, but he still wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not.

All he knew for certain was that he had no intention of going anywhere near the hotel again until he had gotten laid by at least three different guys.

•••

• Week Three

“Hey baby.”

“Hey bitch!” Cherri was more subdued than she usually was when Angel called her, but of course, he had been somewhat out of pocket for the last three weeks; she would never admit it, but Angel knew she was worrying. “Glad to hear you’re alive. I was about to put out an advert for a new bestie.”

“Do it and I’ll set ‘em on fire,” Angel said with a grin. “Busy tonight? Wanna go out?”

“Sure, I’m down. Got a dive in mind?”

An hour later, they arrived outside a little club called the White Sugar Cookie (slogan: “We’re a speakeasy, but with drugs, so we’re better!”) and both took a bump before heading inside. It was pleasantly tasteful, dark and moody with wood interiors and maroon leather, and Angel took a second to appreciate the house band as he and Cherri headed for the bar and settled themselves.

“What’ll ya have?” the bartender asked, squinting at Angel like he recognized him but couldn’t place him.

Before Angel could deflect, however, a familiar voice interrupted. “Get your fine, tight ass back to work, Arlo, I got this one.” The bartender held his hands up and walked away, and Angel swiveled as Mimzy came out from around the bar and held her arms open. “Angel, baby, it’s been too long!”

“Hiya, Mimzy,” Angel said, leaning down to give her a hug and exchanging kisses to the air with her.

Mimzy was a complicated figure in the Hazbin Hotel. She hadn’t been around since the debacle with the sharks—from what Angel had been able to extrapolate, she and Alastor had been acquainted in life, and Angel had never gotten more than that out of her—but Angel had found her club several months earlier. Since it was a place where you could buy drugs and where anyone harassing other customers got thrown out on their ear, Angel had made it a frequent haunt when he needed to get out of the hotel and couldn’t handle the attention that came from being basically anywhere else. Since Mimzy was exactly his kind of train wreck so long as he kept her at arm’s length and not anything closer, and since Angel liked to drag Cherri along when she wasn’t in one of her wilder party moods, it wasn’t surprising that they formed something of a weird friendship.

“The usual, girls?” Mimzy asked as she went back around the bar. “Or are you feelin’ a bit more spicy?”

“Oh, I could use somethin’ a little more adventurous,” Angel said. He glanced at Cherri, who nodded, then he added, “You got a few minutes, Mimz? Why doncha join us?”

Mimzy put one hand on her hip and one on the bar. “…yeah, just for you.”

Mimzy took them to a private booth in the back corner, along with a pitcher of something alarmingly orange and three martini glasses. Cherri poured for them as Angel asked, “How ya been, Mimzy? Run any more loans out?”

“Oh, honey, I’m in debt up to my ears as usual, which we both know is a pretty low bar with how close I am to the floor,” Mimzy said, taking a glass from Cherri. “Heard about that bullshit the Vees pulled a few weeks ago, though. Glad to see you’re okay.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”

Cherri scoffed. “He’s been holed up in that hotel for three weeks. Don’t believe his shit.”

Angel glared at her. “Fuck off,” he said. “I am fine. You’re just jealous my business is takin’ off.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard you started a cam business,” Mimzy said, her eyes lighting up. “Come on, details.”

They talked business, along with a healthy amount of gossip about Mimzy’s regulars, until Cherri spotted a girl that was apparently super hot and excused herself to try and get a dance out of the becoming stranger. Once they were alone, Mimzy picked up the pitcher and refilled Angel’s drink. “So, is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“Don’t play dumb, sweetie, I saw the pictures of you and Alastor out together,” Mimzy said with a dry stare, taking out rolling papers and tobacco and beginning to roll a cigarette on the table. “He’s always been a social sonuvabitch, but I ain’t actually heard’a him gettin’ out and socializin’ in a while. And definitely not in a date setting.”

Angel sighed, putting his head in one hand. “Does it matter?”

“Nah. But I’m nosy, so tell me anyway.”

Mimzy offered Angel a cigarette, and he took it with a begrudging thanks, pulling his lighter out of his chest fluff. “I mean, yeah, we went out on a couple’a dates. It was… y’know… some kinda favor.”

Mimzy pulled a disbelieving face as she tucked a second cigarette into her cigarette holder. “A favor?” she asked skeptically. “Honey, I watched Alastor make women cry for having the audacity to flirt with him back in the day. I mean, when he noticed, of course. I got a hard time buyin’ he’d go on a date as a favor.”

Angel held his lighter out for her. “Don’t matter anyway, it’s done now. We ain’t even talkin’ anymore.”

Mimzy took a drag through the holder to cherry the cigarette before she responded. “Good.” She settled back, holder in one hand, other arm crossed beneath her breasts. “Look, kid, I like you. And since I like you, I don’t really wanna watch you get hurt, which is just about all Alastor does when you start gettin’ through those walls of his.”

Angel wanted to argue, but it felt pointless. He wasn’t even sure if he was going to be arguing with her or himself. “…you knew him pretty well, didn’tcha?”

“As well as anybody did back then, sure.”

“What…” Angel hesitated. Do I wanna know? “…what was he like? Back then?”

“Hm? Well…” Mimzy looked thoughtful for a long moment. “He was always odd. Handsome, but in a way that was real… He had a tendency to stare. Not blink enough. Smile too wide. Y’know, same kinda off-putting shit he does now. I worked at a jazz club down in New Orleans, and he used to come in a lot. He was a kinda local celebrity, y’know, since it was the late 20s, early 30s, and there weren’t a whole lotta radio stations around back then. Or, well, his voice was a celebrity, anyway.”

Mimzy paused to ash into her ashtray, her expression thoughtful. Angel just waited, wondering if Alastor would be mad she was telling him all this.

“He was always real closed-off,” Mimzy continued, raising her cigarette again. “Didn’t talk about himself much. He was from a little village outside of town where all the… well, y’know, where the black folks lived so they didn’t make the white folks uncomfortable. And he had a reputation there for bein’ cursed, was what I heard. Lotta rumors about him and his mother, shit nobody was brave enough to say to his face. They said his mother was some kinda caplata, like a hoodoo priestess, and she specialized in medicine, so the village both needed her and hated her. Word was she was killed by a lynch mob when Alastor was fifteen and he was never the same after that.”

Angel frowned. “That’s… awful,” he murmured, not sure what else to say.

“Dunno how much of it’s true,” Mimzy said with a shrug. “But Alastor was always dangerous. After he died, it came out that he was a killer, but I know for a fact they never figured out just how many people he bumped off. Hell, I don’t think I had any idea, and I helped hide him a couple’a times.” She hesitated, then said, “Never did find out what happened to that kid, either.”

Angel sat up a little at the sudden non-sequitur, his eyes widening as he tried not to choke on his cigarette. “Kid? Are you— Alastor had a kid?!”

“What? Oh!” Mimzy cackled, waving her hand. “Oh, fuck no, Alastor hates children. I say kid, but he was… I dunno, twenty or so? Hard to tell with the white hair. Real cutie, big eyes, always wearin’ these real sharp white suits, drove the girls at the club absolutely nuts when he didn’t give ‘em the time of day either. Alastor met him at Mardi Gras, and I guess they were friends. Came in together a lot over that last year Alastor was alive. He was some kinda runaway from up north, from what I gathered, and I hear he went back home after Al died. Shame, too; seemed like Alastor was finally startin’ to open up.”

Angel took all of this in, thinking to himself. He’d known Alastor had gone through a lot, but he hadn’t realized… It sounded like whoever that guy was, he was real important to Alastor. And really, it wasn’t any of Angel’s business, was it?

Maybe I never should have asked.

“So you’re sayin’ he’s always been a pain in the ass,” Angel said, deflecting with a smirk.

Mimzy didn’t notice, just grinning at him. “The biggest. Get him a trophy and beat him over the head with it.”

“I’ll pass. Waste of a good trophy.” Angel finished his cigarette, then put it out. “Hey, Mimz, got one more question for you.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinkin’ about movin’ out. Got any ideas for a good place to set up shop? My new business needs room.”

•••

• Week Four

Angel understood, now, why Cherri had left after things had fallen apart with Husk. Even if she didn’t want anything to do with the soul connection—honestly, Angel still couldn’t get a read on her when it came to all that shit—it couldn’t have been easy to still see him every day and feel that pull and know that he wanted nothing more than to pretend she didn’t exist.

He couldn’t stand looking at Alastor anymore. Every time he did, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to go to him and do something, anything to just get Alastor to talk to him. And whenever he did see Alastor, the Radio Demon acted like he didn’t even exist. Angel could tolerate a lot, but an eternity of Alastor ignoring him wasn’t one of those things.

If all it took was a month to get him into this state, how would he feel after a year?

Angel was in the middle of packing up his stuff—Charlie had assured him (with tears in her eyes) they would get his things delivered to his new place so he wouldn’t have to worry about it—when he heard a knock on the door. He hesitated, because it wasn’t a knock he heard often, before he heard a small and sad voice. “Angel? Are you there? Can I come in?”

Angel felt his shoulders sink a little. “…sure, Niffty.”

The door opened and Niffty stepped in, closing it behind her. She looked around slowly. “…it’s true. You’re leaving.”

“…yeah. It’s true.”

Immediately, Niffty’s large eye filled with tears. “Noooo…!” she whined, running over to Angel. He knelt down, and she threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him. “You can’t leave! I don’t want you to!”

“Oh, Niff…” Angel smiled a little, even though he didn’t feel it, returning the hug and gently rubbing her little back. “It ain’t like I’m gonna be gone forever. You can always come see me, and we can hang out whenever you want.”

“But I want to see you here!”

He sighed. “I’m sorry, Niffty, I am. I don’t want to leave, I just… I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Yes you can! Alastor’s stupid and you don’t have to leave just because he’s stupid!”

Angel actually laughed at that, gently taking her by the shoulders to pull away enough to look at her. “Yeah, he is stupid,” he said fondly, reaching up to wipe a tear from her face. “But he doesn’t wanna see me no more, and he’s gotta stay for the hotel.”

Niffty shook her head firmly, grabbing Angel’s hand in both of hers. “He does! He’s just— he’s bad at everything.” She sniffled a little. “Do you hate him?”

“No, honey, I don’t hate him,” Angel said firmly.

“Do you love him?”

He hesitated. “I…” A while ago, he would have waved that off with a laugh and dismissed it immediately, but now… “…I think I do.”

I think I have for a while now. Even before this mark shit. Does that make me pathetic?

“Then why won’t you stay?”

“It’s because I care about him,” Angel said. “It’s too hard to see him right now, Niff. Maybe I’ll come back one day, but I just… I can’t right now.”

Niffty stared up at him as he gently petted her hair a few times. “…do you promise you won’t leave forever?”

“Yeah, Niffty. I promise.”

Angel let Niffty help him pack up a bit, and as they worked, he couldn’t help noticing the other Sinner growing pensive. She ended up leaving after only a few minutes, giving Angel a big hug before hurrying off. Angel finished up alone, then grabbed his purse and the handle of his little hellpig’s harness.

“Come on, Fat Nuggets. Let’s go.”

•••

[celtrist]

SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD BUT NOTHING TOO OBVIOUS (I would've waited a week but this one is pretty vague spoiler wise so...): I feel like most people might think she was being unfairly harsh in part due to her being a teenager and not understanding things. But I also think that's partially not giving her enough credit. I personally think she's very right in her actions, if not a bit melodramatic. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It is very clear Stolas LOVES Octavia, but his loving and caring about her does not make him a good father. As viewers, we haven't been given any reason that Octavia should forgive Stolas. She seems kind of absent in his life and we've seen him prioritize things like Blitz over her (they make it a point several times in the show with the Asmodeus song and Lulu Land). They've kind of kept alluding to how Stolas does, in action, love Blitz more and doesn't pay enough attention to Octavia. And the show doesn't put a lot of effort into showing him trying to be better in this. He SAYS he is, but actions speak louder than words (and in a show, it's 9/10 times better to show it, not tell it). There hasn't been a moment in the show that shows Stolas putting in effort to mend his relationship with Octavia when we know it's important to him. And granted, yes, they have only so much time and episodes. But by the same token, there are episodes they could've not done (cherubs and Fizzaroli episodes) that could've put focus on Octavia and Stolas' relationship. Stolas' and Octavia's relationship feels more important than the day in the life of Fizz (and I like Fizz and his forgiving Blitz adds to that story, but we didn't need to see his life with Mammon).

If they want to keep hammering in the issues between Octavia and Stolas, then they also need to show the two mending (or bonding) on screen for it to feel fair for Octavia to forgive and trust him. We can't just say "off-screen stuff" as a resolution when this relationship is consistently shown to be rough and needs work. It's like if a show kept showing a couple being terrible for each other, but they keep mentioning stuff they did off-screen that tells us the relationship is good. That's not good writing! And while I have plenty of critiques for Helluva's and Hazbin's writing, I don't feel like they'd try to pull the "they solved it off-screen" thing. I don't think they'd be SLOW about it, but I think they'd at least show us on-screen stuff with it.

While I do think Stolas was in a difficult situation, you can't deny he's not a very good father (he wasn't even aware of her interests until the Lulu Land episode). Like, he can love her all he wants, but if he's not there for her, he's not there. And we haven't been given many reasons for him NOT to be there for her. You can't really name a lot of things Stolas has done in recent times for her that we've been allowed to see. The only part of their relationship we've seen is that they do care for each other but it needs work. I think it's obvious she's gonna forgive Stolas, just in part because he does genuinely want to do better by her and they DID have a good relationship when she was younger. And I think that's a good route to go with it (especially if they make a parallel of Octavia forgiving and trusting Stolas while Barbie chooses to keep hating Blitz).

I feel like people can be a bit lenient on Stolas because he's depressed and was in a loveless forced marriage with a woman while being gay, but I don't think that's fair for a character like Octavia then to have her feelings brushed off. Like there's certainly wiggle room to be sure, but it shouldn't mean we should ignore his actions and forgive him for everything he does. Stolas did do wrong and it makes me happy to see that there are consequences to his actions (good or bad). We've seen him keep flirting with Blitz over spending time with his daughter. These are things we DO see on screen. I do think Octavia was harsh, it's not like I don't (like with her reaction to the pills), but we as viewers haven't been given much reason for Octavia to forgive Stolas so easily. We haven't seen them have a good relationship really. Hell, we haven't even been shown them having a BAD relationship really. But the times we do get, it often shows the rough, bad side of it. Yes, she's 17 so her emotions are a bit wild and everything, and while I don't think she fully understands all the complexities, I also don't think she's a baby. Like... she's not an idiot. Teenagers have the capability to understand some of these things, she's not 5. Octavia wasn't JUST upset about the pills, she's upset because the man who said would always be there for her kept leaving for the imp he had an affair with. She's upset because he keeps being dishonest with her. Stolas has done far more for Blitz than we have seen him do for Octavia. I think the pills and that he's never told her about them was just the final straw of everything.

I don't think it's fair to say "Octavia doesn't know better" when she's 17. The show has hammered in the point that his actions have not = how he feels for Octavia very well. That, or just neglected to show any good bonding moments between them or anything that didn't involve Octavia having to forgive Stolas (as any Octavia episode had Stolas ignoring her and then saying sorry. Which would maybe be fine if they showed more to their relationship outside of that).

Rambled more than I thought I would for the series I have way less interest in, haha. But I don't really care for the "Stolas did nothing wrong" attitude I see some people have when Stolas has done things wrong. He was in an unfortunate situation to be sure, but he can still do wrong things (by all accounts, him cheating on Stella was wrong on a moral level). I LIKE Stolas' character too btw, and I like how messy he is. But I feel like a lot of people are gonna brush off Octavia's view as "she doesn't know any better" or just that she was being unfair about everything when I don't think that's fair to her. She was harsh, yes. I think the pill thing she doesn't understand entirely, but she's 17 not stupid. And there's more than just the pills that Octavia has reason to be mad about concerning her father that I think people don't wanna acknowledge. Maybe I'm talking nonsense though? I don't know, I really haven't been convinced about some of Stolas' actions, even if again his situation was messy/complicated.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Today I come with a distressing idea.

What do you think of a polyamorous relationship (Thor x reader x Lü Bù or Hades x reader x Qín Shî Huáng) where they were already in a relationship and decided to include her because there was romantic and sexual tension, but for a while now she has felt them apart?

So, not wanting to bother them (feeling unworthy of being "the third option") she walks away and leaves, by the time they want to know what's going on, boom! It turns out that in the time he was gone we married someone else, a marriage of convenience.

(Maybe we are royalty, an important lady or something to make the arranged marriage work)

No happy ending, no consolation, just sadness on both sides; They understanding that they were wrong to forget that there were three of them (not anymore, there were two again) and we were living a sad and dissatisfied married life in the shadow of a husband married to his job (he doesn't cheat on us or treat us badly, but there is no love or affection)

PS: I missed you so much!

-Looking back on it now, had you known this marriage you had agreed to enter would be so cold, so loveless, maybe you would have waited for your previous partners.

-You were the third to join Hades and Qin Shi Huang, who started dating shortly after everyone had been brought back to life, as the two bonded first as friends, then grew into something more.

-You were friends with both of them, Hades whom you had known for years, being a goddess yourself, and QSH found you and he never left, but according to Hades, that’s how he was.

-After several months of playful smirks and winks, longing glances, and such obnoxious sexual tension that even Zeus was annoyed, you joined their couple.

-For a while, you felt so happy being with them, you felt like the most beautiful woman because of the way they treated you, all while falling more and more in love with each other at the same time.

-That’s when the whispers started, rumors and cruel words floating all around you, on how happy they were with each other, and you were just in the way. They were just jealous, wanting to be in your place, so they worked hard to sow doubt into your mind.

-It worked.

-You started shying away a bit from them, constantly questioning if they were happy with you being there with them, but unlike you, as this was serious to you, they just laughed off your concerns, thinking you were being silly.

-They weren’t laughing when you finally left, not wanting to get in the way any longer.

-They tried to plead with you, to talk to you, wanting to talk this out, now taking your fears seriously as they had heard others, those jealous pricks, and what they had been saying.

-You didn’t want to believe them, your heart was aching from the pain of them not believing you, and you lashed out, telling them that relationships were built on communication and trust!

-That’s why you married another god, a marriage of convenience for the both of you, there were no pretty words, no late-night talks, no presents or thoughtful surprises, and no love. It was like you were still alone, this time with a ring on your finger and a stranger in the next room over.

-Hades and QSH regretted every moment they had laughed off your fears, not taking them seriously, as they had lost you. You fled from them because you didn’t’ trust them, into the arms of another man who didn’t even love you like how you should be love.

-Hades buried himself in his work, trying to drown out his sorrow, which in turn led to more fights with QSH, as he was never home, and they never spent any time together.

-They realized they were losing each other because they lost you, and without you to guide them, they feared their end would soon be approaching.

[einsatzzz]

OCtober Day 27 - Fear - "Give me a reason to live with indifference, doctor"

"Even if I came to love humanity in the end, there won’t come a day when I know that love, will there...?"

Slow-downer is such a nice song that fits both Yui and Kana. But I see this song mainly as leaning towards being both Yui-centric and in some form, depicts YuiKana's relationship (though vaguely).

The drawing above is inspired from the original MV's illustration with a patient and a doctor. Considering their lore (that I've never talked about before actually) and relationship with each other, I thought it would fit them the best if Yui is the patient while Kana is the doctor that he consults his problems with.

I feel like this would make more sense if I hypothetically already finished and posted Yui's profile (its coming, trust). But anyway, he is someone who grew up in a loveless family that burdened him with expectations (sounds familiar?). This is something he bonded over with Kurumi.

A major difference is that, Kurumi's parents love her genuinely and doesn't see her as an object/pawn to be used as leverage in Family politics.

But in terms of his outlook in life and mindset towards it, he resonates more with Kana. All in all, the comfort that he finds in Kurumi's presence is vastly different from the comfort that he finds in Kana's presence.

Deep down, Yui is someone who yearns for love. He already got a good amount of it from the Ninomiya Family, who treats him like their own. But he somehow still feels a certain emptiness despite it all, like something within him is not yet filled. He secretly fears that this is something he won't ever find in his lifetime.

Who else would he seek comfort from on this other than Kana? Someone who is also showered by love from both parents and Kurumi. He absolutely knows she feels empty as well, but the thing is, it doesn't even seem to bother her all that much (or at all) for some reason. He's also smart enough to know that if he asks, he won't get a proper answer. He wonders if he can eventually be someone like that too, so he has less problems to think about?

Because ideally, the only problems he would like to think about is the funding for his next several robot projects or the daily trouble him & his bestfriends get into. Anything that doesn't require him to get serious and anything where he can still sit back and relax. He also loves it when the problem even solves itself.

On the other hand, whether it be Yui or Kurumi, and whether or not either of them would ever want to change for the better or for the worse or just stay stagnant, Kana will always happily 😃😃😃 have their back and accept them 😃😃😃 Take all the time that you need Kurumi and Yui! She will always be here for you, no matter what!

Anyway, I'm still respawning but trying to get back into drawing bit by bit (ngl, I still feel so tired). This is just a sketch while experimenting on some effects, but eventually, I want to draw something cleaner for them related to this song. I feel like I rambled way too much compared to the point that I'm trying to make lol

(Also, image above doesn't accurately reflect their actual height difference LMAO Kana is so much smaller, we're talking about a 20cm height diff here hahaha I just need them to both be clearly visible on-screen)

[acourtofthought]

I received two more anons which I'm adding below the "read more" button just in case anyone wants to avoid HOFAS spoilers (or the spoiler theories going around based off the book).

Seriously, how would that even work? Does he have to cut people in the chest to sever their bond? Ask them to try to find the thread that connects them (you know the one INSIDE of them) and play surgeon to snip, snip, snip? I said it in one of my last posts but the King of Hybern, who had access to the cauldron, was unable to break Feysands bond which Tamlin requested that he do. Which Feyre requested that he do (in order to save her family and friends). Amren confirms that "that sort of bond cannot be broken. The king is a fool, that sort of bond cannot be broken" and he couldn't as he he broke was the bargain. If the main big bad of the original trilogy was unable to harness the kind of power while using the actual Cauldron to mess with mating bonds, then how exactly could Truth Teller? Also, WHY would SJM create this super mysterious backstory for Truth Teller only to have it's super special power be that of breaking bonds? What would the fucking point be? Shall we just call Az the Anti Cupid? The Prythian Divorce Attorney because he's going to go around Prythian helping poor fae trapped in loveless bonds free themselves from it's shackles? This is what is said about TT with translation (not sure how it will read in English): "The Starsword is Made" "The knife can undo things." Done and undone. Matter and antimatter. With the right influx of power, a command from the one destined to wield them, they can be fused. And they can create a place where there is no life and no light. A place that is nothing. Nowhere." It's funny that the knife can "undo things" and they think that gives them carte blanche to have it undo everything, even that which was decided by a divine being. Bonds created by the mother herself? Truth Teller's got you covered! Humans turned Fae, Made by the Cauldron? Don't worry Elain, I'll unmake you in no time! Especially when the entire point of what was being said about the power of TT is that when fused with the sword, it can create "no life and life, a place that is nothing." Considering the conversation was talking about how the Starsword and TT were connected, wouldn't the more logical conclusion be that the as the sword is Made, the knife (it's opposite considering one is matter and the other antimatter) can "unmake" things, maybe objects? Like maybe the Trove which was made? Other weapons made by the Cauldron? Mating bonds are not made by the Cauldron but determined by fate / destiny. There's nothing to "unmake" as they weren't "made" in the first place. Bryce confirms that Az does not have the same shadows as Ruhn (Ruhn who has the same shadows as Rhys). Rhys confirms Az does not have the same shadows that he does. SJM CONFIRMS Az's shadows are not that of Rhysands. Rhys's shadows belong to him, they don't whisper to him or keep him company. The are an extension of him. Azriel tells us his shadows are his companions meaning they are not actually part of him. He says they keep him company, Rhys says Az learned their language. That all means that they are independent of him regardless of them being in sync at times or reacting to Az or whatever else they've done. As of the most recent book, his shadows do certain things with certain people / situations. They aren't very brave in the sunlight, all but one hiding while he steps into the sunshine. They reacted likes snakes ready to strike on two different occasions (one which had nothing to do with Elain). They are afraid of Koschei. They were curious about Gwyn and danced and sang in response to her her song / breath. I'm pretty sure they twirled around when he was interacting with Nesta too. Az confirms that they tend to vanish around Elain. Considering Az considers the shadows his companion, that they keep him company, don't you think he'd enjoy seeing them curious and playful and singing instead of vanishing or afraid of Elain's "light" that even E/riels admit to her having since they love the dark / light aesthetic?

This is such a ridiculous argument they're spreading around. The Cauldron was "messed" with while the Daglan had it in their possession. They took what the mother once used to create all life and used it for evil. To create monsters, to create things that would serve them, to create evil weapons. But the second the Daglan no longer had possession of it, the Cauldron returned to it's normal state which is not good or bad. It just is and the only thing that determines what the Cauldron is is the person wielding it but no one can alter the Cauldrons essence for eternity. After the Daglan ruled, it was used to turn Myriam fae (used for good). Just like the King used to to bring down the wall (bad). Just like Feyre / Amren used it to unleash Amren (that turned out to be a good thing). Mating bonds are not determined by the Cauldron, as proven by Amren they can not be altered by the Cauldron, and if they were, then how did every single other SJM endgame couple with a mating bond end up with a fantastic one despite the Daglan "messing with it" yet ONLY Elucien's bond has fallen victim to the Daglans influence 15,000 years later?

[trashogram]

Little Octavia slowly realizing her parents can’t stand each other. She starts to feel their hostile energy whenever they’re in the same room together and it upsets her. It’s frightening. She can’t stop hearing their screaming matches echoing down the hall. She tried to stop them once, running in with tears streaming down her face. The crying only made them more vicious toward each other, blaming each other for upsetting her.

Little Octavia becoming meek and docile, leaving behind her innocence just to pacify her parents and keep them from being toxic to each other because it’s scary and makes her tummy hurt. She doesn’t know it but she’s developed an anxiety disorder.

Octavia listening to her mother’s ranting and raving about how awful Stolas is, and they bond through a common enemy whenever he’s not around. Octavia soothes her father as he mourns his own life and bitterly jabs at Stella. Octavia never stops smiling even when it hurts. She’s the victim of parentification and if she isn’t helpful, the guilt and shame will eat at her mercilessly.

Octavia begins to feel exhausted every day despite getting enough sleep. The thought of another day drains her so much that she can barely get out of bed. Her parents show some concern, but are too wrapped up in themselves to be there for her for very long.

Octavia hates the way her parents treat their staff. Everyone is so much smaller than her parents and their friends. Octavia is so much smaller. She starts to feel sick when an imp is tossed aside like trash, or a Hellhound protecting them goes unacknowledged. Why are they so thoughtlessly cruel?

Nothing tastes good anymore. Octavia always feels nauseous, and has for years. She would prefer not to eat, or even drink sometimes. She just wants to stay in her room with the lights off and the curtains drawn. She wants the music to drown out her racing thoughts and the memories that creep up like ivy.

Octavia feels like daggers are piercing through her heart even though Stolas hasn’t said anything, just looks dismayed. She’s tried this grimoire spell several times now and it’s not working. The magic doesn’t flow from her claws like it does for her father. His reassuring smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he tells her that it’s okay.

Octavia fights the tears that threaten to fall as her mother huffs disappointedly when she stumbles through her curtsies and her dances with other Goetia lords and ladies. Stella waves it off and kisses Via’s cheeks later, but her affection is half-hearted and mired in discontent.

Via’s peers give her funny looks when she speaks, because she’s been silent and standing at the edge of the group like a haunting specter all this time. She makes a tiny mistake and the embarrassment is so strong that she can feel panic invading her lungs.

Octavia cries quietly in her room. A thought comes in the midst of her self-loathing — she wouldn’t be so stupid and incompetent if her parents taught her how to do these things instead of expecting her to know it all already.

Octavia cries harder, ashamed of herself.

Her father is caught sleeping with another man and Octavia feels her heart stop. She knows that Stolas and Stella can’t stand each other, but it’s still a shock. The betrayal feels like a physical blow, like Octavia stood shaking with this household on her shoulders all this time and now it’s crashing down. Everything splinters and scatters, glass shatters, and the rot in the walls and hiding underneath the floor starts to reveal itself.

Her parents are divorcing. Her father is happy for the first time since Octavia can remember, and her mother is sulking but still has her machinations. They stomp on the remains of the house she tried so hard to keep together as they go their separate ways.

Octavia feels something deep inside of her break as her father shouts that she is the only reason that Stolas and Stella have remained in a loveless union. She is the reason that they were forced to be together, miserable.

Octavia thinks that if she didn’t exist, none of this would have happened.

She’s numb everyday. Hell keeps burning, but Octavia can’t care. Her parents pick up on the change when she can no longer pretend to agree with them or feed into their delusions. Their confusion, their anger, their concern — it can’t hurt her anymore. She’s dead inside.

Little things get past the murky glass that contains her. She looks at her mother one day and thinks ‘I can’t stand you’. She listens to her father prattle on and thinks ‘you’re not capable of love’.

There’s a date on the calendar that was marked with a promise long ago. Octavia blacks it out before she tears the calendar into pieces that she then sends flying out the window. She only needs the bag in her closet with her whole life inside. It won’t stir any attention when she leaves and never comes back.

[redemonarc]

My thoughts on writing Stella the way she is;;

I was asked about the topic so I’m going to comment on it. Personally, I prefer the canon portrayal of her sadistic, selfish, and abusive nature. I don’t think she is capable of changing her mind so easily and I believe she’s relied on herself (and her brother) to accomplish her goals. My Stella has struck and beaten Stolas several times throughout the years, she is a manipulative mother, really only cares for her brother and herself, and wants to live a life of luxury at the cost of someone else’s life, even if it meant Via’s. Which explaining the Via part, no she wouldn’t kill her but she would trap her emotionally and physically to keep her wealth for the rest of eternity. Stella is not a good person and is cold hearted, cruel, and capable of murdering someone.

Now, where my portrayal differs from canon is that mine IS as smart as her brother in certain aspects. To me, the whole upbringing as a woman (and being a person who writes Victorian ladies whose whole entire system is built on misogyny) had impacted her growth greatly. Stella is as intelligent and capable as Andre in mathematics and astronomy, but she never had any reason to apply herself. She’s a socialite raised at the top of society as a (now) princess, she had sex to produce her offspring and did her job. But, that’s all she feels she’s worth deep down and always has been. Her traumatic experiences with her parents forcing her into this life and a loveless marriage have made her bitter, resentful, and angry so she takes it out on Stolas (and by extent, Via.) And yes, my portrayal has raised a hand and struck Via a few times. No, it’s not justifiable in a real world context but this is fiction ; and if she is willing to murder her ex-husband, I fail to see why she wouldn’t hit Via. You don’t have to agree to this nor does this apply to any Via portrayals(besides my own) without consent, but I am not afraid to make her darker than even canon is willing to explore.

Now, how does this apply to “healthy relationship” verses such as Stolas/Stella ( @botanikos ) and Vassago/Stella ( @umbravotum )?

Obviously, the abuse is “removed” and dropped to a mere toxic, hateful wife that needs room to grow from her extensive trauma. She is still very horrible, but the physical stuff is removed because truthfully even in fiction I personally don’t believe you can redeem an abusive individual. This is a personal choice, if you disagree— well, that’s your opinion respectfully. But, she works slowly on becoming a “better” person while acknowledging the past. Yes, this can be considered the redemption arc verses. However, do not see these as “defaults”. Her default and main verse is still her being a horrible fucking villain.

How does this apply to any Andre?

I’m pretty sure that Andre and Stella are extremely close and comfortable with each other, I don’t have any other reasons to deny that. Is their relationship with each other healthy? Oh, absolutely not. They’re both manipulative cunts that play off of each other’s backs. But, Andre and Stella might be the only real caring relationship either one has and it’s due to their respective bond as spoiled brats and siblings who grew up together.

My Stella is undeniably close to any Andre ( though I would classify @a-hell-of-a-time as my official Andy) and would give up anything to save him. He is genuinely the only real person she would selflessly sacrifice and help.

TLDR;;

Stella is a fictional villain, treat her as such. But, don’t default to your characters beating her up because no one knows what she was doing behind the scenes besides literally only Andre, Striker, and catching on being Stolas, Blitz, and IMP. Everyone else, stay in your lane! Thank you.

[uwushitsuji]

"do you ship sebaciel?" I dont consider myself a sebaciel shipper. I used to, when I was a teenager, but I dont anymore. Not to mention as I grew older, I became more sensitive to some things involving minors, and explicit content of them makes me really uncomfortable.

For obvious reasons, I dont see them in a romantic/sexual relationship (I dont even think sebastian is even capable of feeling sexual desire nor love the same way we humans do).

However, I adore their whatever-they-have. It's probably my favourite fictional relationship ever. And I think it's that great *precisely* because is not romantic.

You can only truly love someone when you see the other as an equal. Ciel and Sebastian are pretty much the oppositte: it's the unhealthy power imbalance what defines their dynamic.

There's no real love there. They are not lovers, they are not friends, they are not (found) family. They are not (only) master and servant. They are just Ciel and Sebastian. They are nothing, but they're each other's everything.

There's no love there. But there are several layers of codependency, messed up power dynamics, desire, manipulation, addiction, emotional abuse, possessivenes, cruelty and, somehow, some genuine care, admiration and affection for each other.

There's no real love there. But I have never seen two characters share their level of intimacy, devotion and mutual trust.

Their relationship is ugly, loveless, abusive, dirty; but there's some weird, twisted beauty in it. It's as disgusting as fascinating.

For me shipping them is a disservice to the depth of whatever they have. There's nothing romantic between them because there's no love. But the bond they have is even stronger than love itself.

There's no romance, but the desire, intimacy, trust and need for each other is, somehow, way more romantic.

The relationship between them is so complex and unique that I can't ship it, because they don't fit in any ship "category". They're just their own thing. Just Ciel and Sebastian.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sephiroth brings his little brother Chadley to work!

Sephiroth and Chadley

Let's say Chadley is tasked to gather Sephiroth-related data for a week. Sephiroth uses this as an excuse to have Chadley follow him around for a week so that they can bond.

*Cue the cutest montage you will ever read*

• Chadley in his office while Sephiroth does paperwork. Sephiroth grows bored and looks up how to make a paper airplane. The pair learn how to fold them, then make several that they launch from Sephiroth's office window, laughing as they do so.

• They steal Genesis's prized copy of LOVELESS from his office when he's not there. Genesis knows, of course. He sees them place it on a bookshelf in the lounge, but opts to feign blindness. He's just happy to see Sephiroth smiling.

• Angeal makes sure to take many secret candid pictures of the pair. He now has multiple polaroids of them laughing, messing around, and comfortably leaning against each other.

• They take a day trip down into the sector 0 streets. After learning that Hojo never provided Chadley with toys either, Sephiroth takes Chadley into a toy store. They're particularly interested in the giant, blue airplane in the window. They come out with loads of childish trinkets and the big blue airplane.

• A few turks including Tseng catch Sephiroth pushing Chadley on an office chair at full speed in one of the hallways.

• Chadley visits Sephiroth's apartment for the first time and is fascinated by Sephiroth's variety of textbooks. After almost falling asleep on each other while watching a nature documentary, Sephiroth remembers a contraption he keeps in his hallway closet.

• He pulls out a telescope! Chadley is excited, but mourns how they won't be able to get much use out of it in Midgar.

• But Sephiroth has an idea.

• He's set to go on a solo mission in Mideel and takes Chadley with him. Sephiroth could easily finish the job early, but decides to stall to buy them time. They camp out in the woods and take time exploring, Sephiroth teaches Chadley how to hunt, and they even go fishing! Chadley gets too excited while casting the rod and falls into the waters.

• Sephiroth rushes in to get him out and is surprised when a hand pulls him inside. Chadley has mastered the art of pranking. That was his plan all along, and now the pair are soaked inside the water and laughing.

• They go for a swim as the sun sets. As the skies, darken, they head back to their camp and set up the telescope.

• The pair spend the night observing the galaxy, comets, planets, and even a shooting star.

• Sephiroth recounts seeing a shooting star years ago in Wutai, back when he was Chadley's age and Genesis had explained to him that people typically wished upon shooting stars.

Chadley: That's a fascinating custom to adhere to. May I ask what you wished for?

• Sephiroth looks away with a cryptic smile. Genesis had insisted that wishing on shooting stars were a very real way of having ones wishes granted. Had that younger, naive Sephiroth known Genesis had been correct, he would've wished for a family member long before Wutai.

• The week of data collection comes to an end. Both Sephiroth and Chadley are saddened. They enjoyed seeing each other every day. Chadley promises to make time to visit him every week, but Sephiroth assures him that he'll come to personally retrieve him from the labs on a regular basis.

• Chadley turns to enter the elevator, but then he stops and lingers for a moment longer. Sephiroth is a breath away from asking him if he's alright, when he's hit full force with a hug.

• Sephiroth hugs him back, lifting Chadley off the ground as the two embrace.

Sephiroth: Dare I say you're experiencing an emotional response?

Chadley: I am! Although I'm unsure of what to classify it as. I know it's positive, my body temperature has increased, and I was overcome with a desire to hug you.

Sephiroth: You'll figure it out.

• And the two part.

[fletchingbrilliant]

To Sever a Loveless Bond Chapter Seven

Catching up so slowly, especially feels sad since this chapter was so short XD''' help i wanna draw so much but time and energy are so hard to come by

Read the fic by @zaebeecee here!

And here's the precious chapters' artwork:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five pt. 1

Chapter Five pt. 2

Chapter Six

[zaebeecee]

Writing Update!

Just wanted to let anyone who’s waiting on Drowning in Stardust or Loveless Bond updates: neither of these things have been abandoned. My right arm has some pretty severe nerve damage (apparently) which has somewhat absolutely destroyed my ability to write at the moment.

However, both projects are still on and will be updated once I can use both hands again. Stardust will simply stretch into November instead of just being an October thing, and Loveless Bond will update as soon as I finish figuring out how to write this damn fight scene

I’m so sorry Alastor

Anyway, thank y’all again for your patience and I will continue to inundate you with RadioDust in the very near future!

[vintagedreamsofsennett]

(Roscoe Arbuckle / his father William Goodrich Arbuckle / Al St. John / his father Walter St. John)

"The most amazing mess of relationship in current comedy. At the left, one who needs no naming here; standing next him is his father. After the elder Arbuckle, nephew and fellow comedian, Al St. John, who is standing beside his father, the husband of Roscoe's sister."

-Alfred A. Cohn, "He Never Laughs on Sunday," Photoplay, Jun 1919, p.58

He was 13 pounds at birth, and Roscoe's slim father was left to forever doubt his paternity. In a bizarre effort to disavow the boy he named him "Roscoe Conkling" after a stalwart Republican politician whom he particularly hated.

-Timothy Dean Lefler, 2016, Mabel Normand: The Life and Career of a Hollywood Madcap, McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, p.50

Roscoe Conkling Arbuckle was born March 24, 1887, in a farmhouse near Smith Centre, Kansas, to parents William and Mary, both of whom were likely thirty-eight. He was the youngest of five children; a sixth child died at birth.

Mary Arbuckle devoted most of her time to the struggling business and little to her child. Nevertheless, the youngest Arbuckle was dependent on one person, the one who had not left him—and then he lost her. Roscoe Arbuckle was twelve years old when his mother died at age fifty in 1899. His need for maternal love would carry over into adulthood, when his first wife was a nurturing presence and he developed a strong bond with his first mother-in-law.

After his mother's death, he stayed for several weeks in Santa Ana with his sister Nora, her much order husband, Walter St. John, and their then-five-year-old son Alfred, who would grow up to be a ubiquitous supporting actor in his uncle's movies. Then Arbuckle was sent North to live with the father who had abandoned him.

Shortly after Mary's death, the family patriarch wed another woman named Mary, a widow who went by "Mollie" and had six children of her own. They would have two additional children together, in 1900 and 1903, the last when Mollie was forty-four.

Arbuckle was teased for his weight, a torment compounded by his father's insistence he wear overalss and ragged shoes. One Santa Clara resident remembered, "Whenever a baseball went over the fence or out of the lot, the other lads put up a cry of 'Go get it, Fatty,' and with kicks and punches, sent the big boy on his way after the ball. He always was punched and kicked by the other boys."

"He was aggravatingly lazy as a boy. Neither his father's cuffings nor my pleadings could cure it," his stepmother remembered. "Roscoe didn't seem to fit in anywhere." She spoke openly about what a loveless, frequently terrifying home it was for her stepson: "His father used to beat him—and he often deserved it." In a horrifying glimpse at the brutality, she claimed she saved the boy's life once when "his father was choking him and beating his head against a tree." When the adolescent Arbuckle was fortunate, his alcoholic father would only insult him for his excess weight and not draw his belt or his fists. Still, the sting of words—including William's contention that someone else must have fathered Roscoe—lingered far into adulthood. The abuse boy longed for an escape.

-Greg Merritt, 2016, Room 1219, Chicago Review Press Incorporated, pp.14, 18~21

*Photos

Alfred A. Cohn, "He Never Laughs on Sunday," Photoplay, Jun 1919, p.58

˖◛⁺˖

[siennamakeschaos]

Sarcella Vacker!

Sarcella grew up with her older sister, Veira, and her parents. She and her sister are six years apart in age, but were always close. They stayed in contact when Veira moved into her Elite Levels, same for Sarcella. Veira is a Telepath

Sarcella met Orion when they were both in Level One. They immediately bonded over love of cupcakes and chaos, and have been best friends ever since. it's cliche shut up

Sarcella was in Level Three when she manifested. Her parents were out of the house when it happened, and it was only her and Veira. (who had graduated from her Elite Levels the previous year) She (almost) set her bedroom on fire, but Veira managed to prevent it.

Sarcella was panicking at this point and Veira was trying to figure out what to do. Since pyrokinesis was a banned ability. Eventually, they decided to fake an ability. Descrying was an easy enough ability to fake, and Veira helped Sarcella when announcing 'the news' to their parents.

In her ability sessions, she was given an Empath Mentor at first, since that was the closest ability to Descrying in some people's opinions. Then, when she was struggling, Councillor Terik offered to Mentor her.

Terik knew straight away that Sarcella was faking the ability, but he didn't speak of it, assuming that she wanted to cover up that she was Talentless. He sensed her potential on their first session together, and he said that he could sense 'great potential' from her.

Sarcella has heard stories about Pyrokinetics- Fintan Pyren to be specific- and she was afraid of her ability at first. Veira helped her through it, however, and they trained together whenever there was nobody home.

Orion is one of the only two other people (aside from Veira) Sarcella has told about her true ability. Sometimes, when they're alone together, she uses her ability to bake food quicker. A few of these times, the kitchen has almost burned down.

The other person Sarcella has told is the only other person she trusts with her life aside from Veira and Orion. It's her cousin from her mother's side, Fitz Vacker. duh ofc i'm working canon into it 🙄

Fitz tells Sarcella everything- she's basically his personal therapist at times- and in return, she tells him everything. Fitz and Orion bond over baking, which Sarcella occasionally joins in on. Sarcella and Biana have makeover sessions sometimes, every now and then managing to drag Veira into Everglen to join in.

Sarcella has been contacted several times by the Black Swan, the Collective trying to recruit her. She hasn't responded to any of the messages sent to her, too afraid to do so. She doesn't want to be involved in any of the rebel groups.

Once Fitz and his friends joined the Black Swan, Sarcella gave the idea of joining as well some thought, but ended up deciding against it. She supports Fitz and Biana as much as she can, however. (she is closer to Fitz than Biana, though.)

Sarcella currently lives with her girlfriends and sister, Veira. (Sarcella is bisexual, asexual and polyamorous) Often, Sarcella finds herself babysitting Orion's adopted child, Kailee, who is currently 6.

Sarcella is constantly trying to set up blind dates for her sister, who has had a rather loveless life so far. (Veira hasn't been interested in dating.) Most of the time, she fails. She will succeed some time soon. that's what she tells herself.

Okay I think y'all have had enough of me ranting about Sarcella <3

if you have any questions abt her, i'd love to hear them in my askbox!!

[cliozaur]

This chapter provides a good opportunity to discuss critical thinking. However, considering Marius' upbringing, it's understandable that he had no chance to develop such skills.  

While he did have a small rebellion against his grandfather, it was so subtle that M. Gillenormand remained unaware of it. The only way to sever the faint bond between Marius and his grandfather was to change Marius' political stance. Furthermore, after long years of loveless life, Marius has become obsessed with his deceased father. He passionately loves and idolizes everything about him (which reminds us of someone, doesn't it?). But where is Marius obtaining this information? We now know for sure that his “friends” were imaginary since he "did not know anyone," so no one could instruct or guide him in his pursuits. Therefore, he turns to the library and reads what is available, such as the official revolutionary, and later Napoleonic newspaper Moniteur. He becomes swept up in the propaganda, as "the first effect was to dazzle him." Marius is a self-taught political enthusiast, albeit a rather uncritical one. Additionally, he is driven by strong and novel emotions, which only intensify his fixation. While he may have learned a thing or two that could potentially be useful: “he beheld each of these groups of events [the Revolution and the Empire] and of men summed up in two tremendous facts: the Republic in the sovereignty of civil right restored to the masses, the Empire in the sovereignty of the French idea imposed on Europe; he beheld the grand figure of the people emerge from the Revolution, and the grand figure of France spring forth from the Empire.” But, of course, most of what he read was an impudent propaganda. No wonder he had an urge to shout “Long live the Emperor!” into the darkness of the night.

Hugo himself identifies Marius' biggest mistake as his failure to recognize the problem with using violence to achieve idealistic goals: “Fanaticism for the sword took possession of him, and complicated in his mind his enthusiasm for the idea. He did not perceive that, along with genius, and pell-mell, he was admitting force, that is to say, that he was installing in two compartments of his idolatry, on the one hand that which is divine, on the other that which is brutal. In many respects, he had set about deceiving himself otherwise. He admitted everything.”

Marius is in the process of discovering and exploring new emotions, going beyond mere love to much stronger variations: “on the one hand he admired, while on the other he adored,” he is also experiencing grief which is much stronger than just a grief: “Marius had a continual sob in his heart,” this feeling of loss of something he had never really had.  Poor Marius why should everything be so complicated for him?

Once again, we observe the generation gap between Marius and his grandfather. While M. Gillenormand belongs to the generation of "the first sexual revolution" and constantly thinks about his grandson's love affairs, Marius (like many characters in this novel) shows no interest in his own sexual life, at least not yet.

We finally see Marius interacting with his aunt: “When his aunt scolded him for it, he was very gentle and alleged his studies, his lectures, the examinations, etc., as a pretext.” At least he is not rude with her.

And now he is wasting his time searching for Thénardier!

[vftheflesh]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬 / CAMILLE HUNTER-CHOI.

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔

NAME: camille andrea hunter-choi NICKNAMES: cami or cam, occasionally called mom AGE: fifty-five DOB: april 26th GENDER: cis female PRONOUNS: she & her ETHNICITY: 1/2 african-american 1/2 korean-japanese SEXUALITY: lesbian MBTI: esfj ZODIAC: taurus FORMER OCCUPATION: nonprofit ceo POSITION: leader of the mountain sky hotel commune. HEIGHT: five-foot-eight HAIR: dark and curly TATTOOS: bay leaves alongside her right arm, a "j" on the inside of her left wrist, an oak tree on her back, ravens flying on her left bicep NOTABLE CHARACTERISTICS: from her left shoulder up to her jaw and ear she has mildly severe burn scars that have made it hard to hear out of that ear.

𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚

camille isn't wanted - she knows this from a very young age. the hunters are a loveless family built on the bonds of old money and marriages of convenience. she watches her mother's face wilt with age and feels she is the only person who understands how truly miserable everyone is. she's expected to fall in line slotted easily into the lineup of happy, perfectly rich siblings. she spends her summers in ibiza attended by nannies and cousins and then her other seasons in swedish boarding schools. it is not a happy childhood by any length. it drowns in loneliness and she learns very quickly to rely on herself alone. by the time she hits eighteen she's given up any hope of repairing a relationship with her family. she packs up and takes what's left of her trust fund to travel. she spends a year in thailand, another in brazil and then settles back in the city. she becomes the kind of boots-on-the-ground woman she always wanted to be and distances herself from the memory of a rich girl yearning for love. almost like an accident she falls in love. her marriage, whether out of desperation or sheer delusional hope occurs and for twenty-odd years she is a wife. the weight of it rests on her - the idea that maybe she never wanted to be one in the first place. somehow she ends up back in the same gilded cage of wealth she'd been born in. she escapes through work with her nonprofit and spending summers in guatemala building houses and wondering how she ended up here. the affair is a natural consequence of it all - it's brief only half a year at the end of a dying marriage but every request for a divorce is carefully rebuffed and before she can put her foot down the world ends. then it doesn't seem that important anymore. in the early days her home burns down and her wife is gone and she's left with nothing more than the scars. she makes her way to valdez through sheer tenacity and cares for the community like they were her own children. camilla is a tough, but fair leader. she endeavors to hear out every resident of the mountain sky hotel but rules are rules. the decisions she make - no matter how hard - are made to keep everyone safe.

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

many describe camille as warm and maternal. she attempts to lead mountain sky fairly though takes every failure personally and can be discouraged by her own attempts to do good. she has a natural magnetism to her that makes her open to listening and caring. but her pride is stubborn both her failures and her successes she owes to herself. while she never had children of her own she regards many of the members of mountain sky hotel as family. to her, her duty is a protector and a guide - she has no desire to be an almighty ruler rather to work together to create a community everyone can be happy and safe in. she is sometimes blinded by her own idealism - too focused on trying to do the best for everyone that she can't do well for even one person and often defers making harder decisions to her second and third in command. the responsibility of her position weighs incredibly heavy on her and sometimes it's called into question whether she can handle it. she sees things in a very practical manner only focused on long-term goals which occasionally causes lapse in short term necessities.