#to preface this i have little to no knowledge of these guys it's just something i was talking abt with friends and i think is very silly

[bogviolets]

octavian has the vibe of cutting himself bangs at 3am and then sending a message to agrippa and making him come over only for agrippa to find him sobbing on the bathroom floor wailing that he made a mistake

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Prey

Slasher AU. Prefacing the fic with the knowledge that there's no batman in this au. I was thinking about Scream and those kinds of horror films when I wrote this, so, all the warnings that come with that.

CW for murder, some knife play, predator/prey dynamics, and sex under manipulation. Smut written with AFAB reader in mind. 18+ MDNI ~3.7k words

Gotham is known for its crime, known for its filth and grime. So when you started dating Jason Todd, you were floored by how good he was. Attentive, sweet, kind, and always so soft with you.

He's the antithesis of everything you're used to, constantly going against your more pessimistic expectations. Your boyfriend is a rare, treasured comfort in the city that's been nothing but rotten to you.

It helps that he's nothing but a gentle giant. Sure, he can scare off anyone looking for trouble while you're walking the street, but he's harmless. If he wasn't born and raised in crime alley, you'd assume he'd have no idea what to do with his size and strength.

He assures you he's more than capable of swinging the bat you keep by your bed if anyone ever broke in. You believe him, of course, but it doesn't completely soothe the knot of anxiety in your stomach. Not when Red Hood is stalking the streets.

It's a name that's been haunting Gotham for over half a year. He's become Gotham's most prolific serial killer in nearly no time at all. He has no pattern, no specific victim type. All the GCPD seems to know is that he targets 'the rot' and wears a distinctive, blood-red mask.

He scares you. It's not that you think that you're on his intended targets list, it's just– his victims, you knew an uneasy amount of them.

The creep at your work? Found dead with a lengthy, bloodstained list of previous convictions.

The offputting guy that liked to lurk at the coffee shop you love? Murdered with the names of his victims carved into his body.

The stranger in your apartment building who stared a little too much? Killed and left with his eyes plucked out in some parking lot.

Jason said it was just a coincidence, that there was no need to worry when it was just criminals and predators being targeted. He sounded so confident, so sure of this fact that it was easy to brush off the unsettling fear that seemed to travel to your spine every time you heard Red Hood's name.

But now? You wish you had taken the gut feeling more seriously.

You weren’t even supposed to be home. You were supposed to be at work. Safe. Calmed by the people around you. But your manager had double scheduled you and your coworker, and, in the moment, you had been more than happy to take the opportunity to spend more time with your boyfriend.

Jason was nowhere in sight when you had come home. It had been quiet, almost eerie. You assumed he was napping, getting some well-deserved rest. You knew how hard he works. You were almost giddy, at the thought of surprising him, at curling up in your soft, warm bed and surrounding yourself with your boyfriend's arms and scent.

You cracked open your bedroom door slowly, carefully, not wanting to disturb him. But it’s not the sight of your handsome, sleeping boyfriend you’re greeted with. It’s something far worse.

Your brain doesn’t quite make the connection between the imposing figure tugging on a pair of leather gloves and the serial killer prowling the streets at first. But as your gaze trails up the stranger to where his face should be, you recognize the mask that's been on the edge of your nightmares for months.

Red Hood. Red Hood is in your room, and he’s picking up a knife off your bed to shove it into a sheath on his hip. You have the chilling realization that your boyfriend is nowhere in sight. Panic starts to close your throat. He could be dead. Jason– your Jason– could be dead.

You think you make a noise at the thought. Or maybe you step back in horror. You’re not completely sure. But what you do know, is that you’ve done something to get him to notice your presence. Red Hood whips his head towards you. He breathes out your name. And you turn on your heel to run.

You dart through your apartment, vision tunneled with one purpose. Get away. You have to get to the door, have to get help, have to hope that your boyfriend is still clinging to life and that you’ll be fast enough to save him.

Your heart threatens to pound out of your chest, your hands feel clammy, and all you want to do is cry, but you have to run. You have to. He’s right behind you. You can hear his heavy boots hit the ground with every step, and it only serves to make skin grow cold and your spine tingle.

You throw open your front door, opening your mouth to scream and beg someone to come help.

You don’t get the chance. The door slams shut in front of you, your only hope for escape barricaded closed by a large hand pressing into the wood above your head. You try to yell, try to shriek and make a commotion, but leather presses harshly against your lips before you're able to make a sound.

It’s muscle memory, built on self-defense training Jason always insisted you practiced, that you’re able to elbow him in the gut and bite down on his hand. He grunts, shifting his hold on you. You find enough space to spin around and shove him. You think he steps back more at your audacity than at your strength.

It doesn’t matter why, all that matters is that it gives you an opportunity to sprint past him, to try to make it to the fire escape. He must find your attempt cute, because he huffs out a laugh as he lunges for your fleeing form.

You cry out as he tackles you to the ground, maneuvering you as you both fall. The impact of the ground is somewhat softened by his chest, but it dazes you enough that you don’t put up a strong fight when he flips you to your back.

Seeing him up close knocks the air from your lungs more than the fall did. His mask gives away no emotion, only his slightly labored breathing and body heat gives away that he’s even human. Even as terror sets itself into every fiber of your being, there’s a brief clarity in your panicked thoughts.

There’s no scent of blood on him. There’s a chance, there’s a hope, that Jason is okay. There’s a chance he wasn’t home when Red Hood broke in. There’s a chance he’s safe. And maybe, maybe Red Hood won’t hurt you. You’re not exactly good, but you’re not evil, not someone he would target.

The thought calms you enough that you start to struggle, if you could just survive until Jason gets here– the thought is cut short when something shiny catches your vision. In your frenzied state, you’d failed to notice Red Hood unsheathing his knife.

You freeze, and he lowers the tip of the knife to rest it at the base of your throat. He hasn't said anything since he caught you, hasn’t given you a hint of what he wants from you.

You wish he would, wish he would give you anything to latch onto. Tears threaten to prick your eyes as he settles his weight on your hips, hunching over as if to get a better look at your petrified face.

Your heart only beats fast when he starts to trail the knife down to catch the collar of your shirt. You can feel how sharp the blade is, how he would only need to press a little harder to make you bleed. The idea makes you whimper softly, unable to hide how vulnerable you are.

He catches the noise, head tilting like he finds it interesting, and he pulls the knife down your sternum until the fabric of your shirt starts to stretch and tear.

You choke on nothing, desperately grabbing at his wrist to try and stop him from ripping your shirt in two, “Wait– please,” you start to beg, anything to save yourself from this. He can’t– you can’t let him– not when you know Jason will be the one to find your body.

He shushes you, low and soothing, and even your best efforts doesn’t stop his steady hand from tracing a line down your body with the knife, “Don’t be scared, baby. I thought you liked it when I got rough?”

His voice. His voice. You know that voice. It chills you to the core, widens your eyes, and sends you spiraling to a fact you never once considered, “Jason?”

He laughs, the sound distorted by the mask and drags the knife back up your skin to rest over your heart, “I knew you’d get there. You’ve always been too smart for your own good.”

It’s not fear that makes your body shake anymore, but anger as you snap at him, “Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of stupid prank?”

“It's not a prank baby,” he says, so plain he may as well be talking about the weather, “I’m Red Hood.”

You blink, shocked to silence as your anger fades to unease. You can only imagine what he looks like right now. Eyes dark, face set with a mockery of a smile, and nothing like the Jason you know.

You swallow thickly, trying to reconcile the man you love, and the murderer bracing most of his weight on your body, “But– Jason– you wouldn’t– killing people– that’s not right,” you finish lamely.

The air seems to grow thick with tension at your stuttered words, and he raises the knife. You scream and squeeze your eyes shut as he brings it down without hesitation.

Pain doesn’t come, but a thunk by your ear does. You open your eyes and turn your head, the shining blade is embedded into the wood by your face, so close that your eyelashes nearly brush it when you blink.

The sight is enough to make tears fill your eyes, and any semblance of safety you felt was quickly ripped away by the glimmering knife.

Jason starts to shush you again, catching your chin gently with his gloved hands to turn your face back to him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I would never. You just don’t understand yet. The people I kill- they aren’t really people, baby. They’re monsters, a cancer to the city. I’m making things better, helping.”

He sounds like he really believes that, and it makes you want to cry harder, “Baby,” he coos, “Don’t be scared. I’ve always kept you safe. How I do it? Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m not asking you to get your hands dirty.”

You flinch when he starts to wipe your tears, and he tuts, one hand leaving your face to lift his bright red mask to the top of his head in an attempt to calm you.

There’s no pretending it isn’t him. Every blemish you’ve come to memorize, every fleck in his eyes, the quirk of his eyebrow. It’s him. Jason is Red Hood, and Red Hood has you pinned to your apartment floor.

“Better,” he asks gently, leaning down to kiss away the tracks of tears on your cheeks. It only serves to scare you more. Your boyfriend, he seems nearly unrecognizable now.

“Please,” you beg again. You’re not sure what you’re asking for. For him to let you go? For him to tell you it’s all a sick joke? For him to stop killing?

He offers you none of these, only rambles idly as he presses kiss down to your jaw, to your throat, “C’mon, baby. I’ve always taken care of you, haven't I? This doesn’t change anything. I still love you. You’re still my partner, my everything. I’m just making things better for you, for everyone.”

His hands start to trace the bare skin of your sides, pushing aside your torn shirt, “Let me remind you how good we are, baby. It’ll make everything better.”

He punctuates his little speech with a roll of his hips, and it draws a gasp from your throat.

It’s so familiar, something you couldn’t help but crave from him. But it feels tainted now, almost wrong. You grab at his shoulders, half to push him away and half to find comfort in pulling him closer as raw panic lacing your features.

He grins at you, as if he can read your every thought and internal struggle. You open your mouth to protest, to remind him and yourself that this is wrong. That even if the people he kills are evil, vile, and twisted, that doesn’t make him right.

Jason doesn’t seem interested in hearing your arguments, though, and he ducks his head to capture your mouth in a passionate kiss.

He nips at your lips, traces your tongue with his, and leaves you panting for air when he finally pulls away. “There you go,” he praises, running his thumb over your spit-stained mouth, “No need to think so hard about it.”

Later, when you’re sticky with sweat and exhausted and laying on his chest, you’ll berate yourself for giving in.

But in the moment? He knows exactly what you like, knows exactly how to get your head to go foggy, and lose your inhibitions. He’s been in your bed for months, learned every little thing that makes you tick with frightening accuracy, and he uses every bit of that knowledge to convince you to give in.

He nips at your pulse, fingers tugging at the fabric of your pants. He’s heavy and warm on top of you, and his murmured praises and gentle touches are almost enough to distract you from the knife driven into the floor by your head.

You dig your nails into his shoulders and somewhere between him sucking a line of bruises to your chest and him hiking your thigh over his hip, what’s left of your clothes is thrown strewn and crumpled onto the floor.

The wood is cold against your back, but it’s the look in his eyes that makes you shiver. He’s completely dressed, even as he has you naked and exposed underneath him. And his gaze, his gaze is almost predatory as he devours the sight of you.

You don’t know how you never noticed it before, the way his eyes darken like he wants to eat you alive, like he wants to keep you soft and spread open for him forever.

It makes your throat tighten, nearly sends you back into a state of sick terror, but then he dips his head, and nips the shell of your, “You’re being so good for me, doll,” he praises, reverent and soft, “You just keep being sweet for me and everything will be okay."

Your breath hitches, and suddenly it's not fear that knots itself in your stomach, but a desire to be good. You want to be sweet for him, want his praise and adoration and approval, no matter what he’s done or what he's capable of.

Pride flickers over his face at the way your eyes seem to glaze over and he’s quick to undo his belt, eager to keep you compliant and dazed, “Look at you, all flustered over some pretty words,” he half taunts, “S’like you were meant for me.”

“Jason,” you start, and he shakes his head at you, pushing his fingers between your teeth.

“Bite down for me, sweetheart,” he instructs, and you can’t help but listen, nipping at the leather of his glove so he can free his hand. “Good,” he coos at you, “Now, hold onto that for me while I take care of you.”

You want to listen, want to do as he says, but his fingers start to rub slow, steady circles against your clit and your mouth drops open in a pitched whine all on its own, letting the glove fall to the floor.

He laughs at you, fond and mocking all at once, “Sweet baby, can’t handle it can you? That’s alright, doll. I’ll make you feel real good anyway.”

You nearly go cross eyed when his cock nudges your cunt. Usually he’d take his time, have you creaming on his fingers or tongue before he’d make you see stars on his cock. But there’s something on face that says he has something to prove, that even with knowledge of who he is, it doesn’t change that your body knows him, wants him.

His name leaves your throat in a needy cry as he sinks into you, slowly guiding himself deep into your fluttering cunt.

Your back arches as his fingers press harder to your clit, his smile almost primal as he feels you clench down on his dick, “Gonna make a mess, baby,” he warns, and you’re not sure if he’s telling you he’s planning on making you a mess, or if he’s pointing out that you’re already on the verge of soaking his cock.

You groan when he starts to rock his hips in shallow thrusts, and it makes you babble his name faster. He’s being careful, letting you adjust to every inch of him as he splits you apart.

But, it’s not enough, not enough to drive the thoughts of Red Hood lingering on the edge of your mind, so you hook your ankles behind his back, and squeeze your eyes shut. If you don’t see him, don’t see the mask still resting on top of his head, maybe you can still pretend he’s just Jason, just your sweet, normal boyfriend.

“Don’t hide,” he grunts and jerks his hips forward, burying himself in one smooth motion that makes you gasp and snap your eyes open.

“There you go,” he murmurs, smile sharp as he gazes down at you. He drops his forearm to the ground next to your head, caging you between his arm and his knife. His free hand leaves your clit to tug your thigh higher up his hip.

He almost seems proud when he starts to grind into you, watching every blissed expression that crosses your face when ruts against your sweet spot.

He pulls his hips back, making sure your eyes stay locked on his, before he drives back into your cunt, setting a head spinning pace that has your needy mewls and the sound of skin on skin filling the room.

He lowers his head to kiss you with a sly grin, swallowing up every whine you make. All the reservations you had quickly disappear, replaced by the tight feeling building in your gut, by the drag of his cock against your walls. He’s relentless, chasing his and your pleasure with a single minded focus.

There’s a promise in his touch, when his hand leaves your thigh to find your hip. His fingers dig into your skin, hard enough to leave an imprint. If your head was any clearer, you would recognize it for the threat that it was.

His lips leave yours, and he buries his face in your shoulder, thrusts becoming sloppy as he murmurs slurred vows into your skin. “Gonna keep you forever. Gonna make you feel this way every day. Never gonna let you go. Never gonna lose this, baby.”

Maybe it’s the way his voice goes ragged. Maybe it’s the way his hips stutter as he fights off his release. Or maybe it’s the way he presses feverish kisses to your skin. But it sends you spiraling over the edge, clenching around his cock and cumming with his name in your throat.

He follows you with a moan, movements slowing as he pumps his spend into your twitching pussy. “Good, baby. So good,” he manages to get out, pulling his face back just enough to watch you whimper and try to gather what’s left of your rationality.

He tilts his head down, grinning like a hunter that’s caught the best prize of the season. The movement causes his mask to slip off his head, sliding it back in place to cover his face. The air catches in your lungs at the sight, your body tensing as clarity strikes through the lingering haze of pleasure.

Jason only laughs, tracing the curve of your jaw, “What’s wrong, baby,” he teases, slowly rolling his hips into your sensitive cunt, “Don’t tell me you forgot who was fucking you?”

“Take it off,” You murmur, voice tight as he drags every last bit of ecstasy from your body.

He hums, “Mm, No. You gotta get used to it, sweetheart. This mask, me, ain’t going anywhere.”

A part of you is still scared, scared to test him more than you already have, but it’s not Red Hood you want, it’s not Red Hood you fell in love with. Anger guides your actions as you reach up to rip the mask off his face. He catches your wrist faster than you see him move.

Everything seems to stop.

He slowly lowers your wrist back to the ground, pinning the offending hand above your head, “Now, sweetheart,” he says slowly, voice lowered to a tone you’ve never heard before, “We’re not going to do that.”

“I’m not sleeping with Red Hood,” you hiss, sounding braver than you feel.

He snorts at you, and every word he speaks is followed by a sharp thrust of his cock, “Baby, I am Red Hood.”

Your arguments turn to keens, overwhelmed and dizzy by his institance to keep driving his dick deeper into your pussy. His words hardly seem to register, but he keeps talking to you anyway, “You’ve been sleeping with Red Hood, baby. And you liked it– loved it. Just have to remind you.”

You can’t seem to focus. He’s good, so good at hitting all the spots that turn your brain into mush and your legs into jelly. But that mask, that stupid mask is staring down at you. It’s the only thing you can see.

You’re divided between Jason, the Jason whose cock has you babbling and moaning, and Red Hood. Red Hood who has your wrist pinned to the hard floor, who’s watching your every movement like he needs to memorize every expression, every sound you make.

It’s not until later, when he has you cumming on his cock for the fifth time, that you realize they are the same. They’ve always been the same.

Jason Todd is Red Hood, and now that you know, he'll blur the lines until you're not sure why you were ever really scared of him.

[spacelandz]

SO! You've seen these little things I do sometimes and you want to know the process!

It's genuinely super simple, so here goes! Apologies by the way if anything is unclear or glossed over. A lot of this is personal taste and such so I hope this can be a nice boost to create something!

RESOURCES AND THINGS TO KNOW!

To preface this little guide already assumes you have basic knowledge of color distribution, lineless art, or breaking up art into proper layers for later processing! I am also assuming that your art program has access to scatter brushes and tiling textures. Personally I use Clip Studio Paint, but this can work on other apps. Anyways, here are some good sites for this:

EZGIF - Free, easy gif maker for assembling any kind of gif*! It also has stuff like converting those damn WEBP's back into png.

*PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE GIFS THAT ARE PARTIALLY TRANSPARENT. YOU MUST USE A SOLID COLOR UNDER ANY PART THAT IS OVER BARE CANVAS

Transparent Textures - Free to use source for HQ transparent textures that tile! Amazing for finding a paper texture for these if you commit to the paper doll look. Best results for textures that are in white or black!

So! You have a finished, prepared piece that you want to glitterfy. Well I'm not covering that right now so you can scroll down to That part if you came just for the glitter. This next section is for...

PREPARING THE PAPER DOLL

To start, your piece should already be separated into respective layers in any order you'd like! We're about to use a ton of clipping masks so Make sure you know your program before starting! So, as my example we have my oc Roy, resized to around... 1500x1500 or the nearest equivalent Smaller is better because it brings out the texture! He looks a little ah...Flat, though right now?

I'm using this guy for a couple different reasons! Those being:

Roy has translucent bodyparts! Just so you will know what to do with characters who are translucent! I'll get to this in a moment so sit tight

He has a clear, defined, and distinct palette that is easy to pick a color to slap the glitter on! This is important because I personally find balance to be the most appealing part of the finished art.

He also just has a lot of doohickeys on his design.

This is where you need your transparent texture! You can use any kind of texture and I encourage experimentation and such, but I personally use a simple paper texture. What we are going to do is go through and clip our imported and tiled texture to each applicable layer! (Make sure to just Copy and Paste the layer you do NOT need to repeatedly go through this menu...)

And... When you are done, you should have something like this:

"But why don't I just clip the texture to the entire piece through a folder? Why go through the hassle of clipping to each individual layer?"

Well that's because of the next step, where we will be adding the shadows. If we don't clip each individual layer, your shadows will look like this example on the left which sort of just ruins the 3D effect and kinda just looks icky, as opposed to this, which is nicer and smoother.

Now I'm no lighting wiz! In fact I'm rather mediocre at best but some general tips for adding the shadows:

Try to keep your shadows going all in one direction mostly! It gives the effect of one light source and generally just looks better than if you shaded around ALL edges everywhere.

Try to only shade where there are parts overlapping that need the dimension! Overdoing it can make the piece look odd. It's especially helpful to separate any details like different shades of hair, layers of hair, etc so that you can put as much volume as you want.

Once the shadows are all added in you should have something that looks like this:

Which looks good! Now I'd sometimes stop here if I can't pinpoint how I'd like the glitter to sit or if I think the piece just doesn't need it, but we're moving on to the big important steps!

ADDING GLITTER

This part is entirely up to your taste! But I'll describe how I do my glitter stuff. Firstly I start out by identifying which color I want to pop out. For Roy here I chose the red parts! For your character it may be different. Experimentation is key!

This is also, however where you need that scatter brush I mentioned earlier. Personally I just use the default CSP spray brush, but again go wild!

Make a folder above your piece, set its blending mode to glow dodge (or add, or add glow depending on what options you have), and create three layers inside of this folder. Setting the folder to clip is optional right now but will be needed later.

Then, fill each glitter layer with your choice of particle in whatever color looks good! Yes, you can do gradients and other stuff on the particles too! World's your oyster.

^ Unclipped example of a glitter layer.

Glitter tips for the early 2000's webcore enthusiast:

Use different strokes and patterns for the glitter distribution! This helps it animate better by moving around. For example this time I went diagonally for the first, horizontally for the second, and then in loose circles for the third. Particle density and stuff is also completely up to you.

Use a color that would pop against the intended area! For Roy I used an orange-ish yellow since it compliments both blue and red.

So now we have the layers! This is where clipping is our best friend once again! You're just going to go in and clip the glitter to whatever layers you want it on. Entire folder, not just one of the layers!

Once that's all done, go through and toggle the respective glitter layer for the frame, saving individual copies when done. You should end up with 3 identical images with different glitter distribution.

"BUT WAIT! JONES, THE TRANSLUCENCY!!" I hear you call! Yes, this is where we handle that! If your character is NOT translucent, you can scroll past this section.

Open up your frames all in one canvas, stacked on top of eachother (no jittering or slight displacement! ON TOP of eachother!)

Our layout should look something like this...Note how the translucent parts are rather hard to see, well if you took your frames and put them in EZgif, they'd be gone entirely! That's because you physically cannot have a partially translucent gif due to technology limitations. So an easy little cleanup thing I did was:

1. SELECT THE CANVAS AROUND THE CHARACTER WITH THE MAGIC WAND TOOL. Do not have any expansion settings on or it probably won't look right in the end.

Make sure you do not miss any gaps! I personally missed the gap between the arm, leg, and lanyard and I had to redo this next step...

2. SELECT -> INVERT SELECTION

3. FILL SELECTION WITH THE DESIRED COLOR. IT MUST BE OPAQUE. I personally picked this cloudy gray color.

You can now save individual frames of your character with the fill so that they don't go bald when you move on to the next step! Again, you should have 3 frames.

FINISHING UP

This is nice and easy. Upload your three frames into EZGIF and wait for it to process. It'll look like this if you're in the right place.

Once things have loaded, make sure to change the settings to the following:

FRAME DELAY: 0 (this is how fast the frames move.)

DON'T STACK FRAMES: ENABLED

You can play around with this but I generally leave everything else alone because you don't need it. Just hit the make a gif button and you're all done!

Aaaand that's it! If you've read this far...Firstly thank you for dealing with my rambliness and horrible explanation skills. Secondly, I hope that this can come in handy for anyone interested! Would love to see if anyone puts this to use. n_n

[blues824]

Can I please request the remarried empress meeting a female undertaker.

⚰️Imagen them learning about her and her amount of knowledgement about every kingdom or empire so one day sovieshu and navier invite her over for information.

⚰️They see her wearing her usual black clothing and her long white hair and scares one her face and her face hided behind her hat.

⚰️Imagen them asking her to share information and she starts telling she doesn't do it for free so when they told her how much money. she then starts laughing telling the only payment is to make her laugh and then she will tell it because money is useless to her.

⚰️Her staying in the eastern empire and being her usual self until one day rattrash bump into her her (intentonly to imbares her because of her face ) only for it to backfire because she is a a beautiful woman no matter what scares she is.

⚰️Imagen her getting ordereds for the people of the eastern empire because her coufins are the most beautiful and best quality there is she might be weard but she is the best undertaker being able to make the dead look so beautiful.

⚰️How would everyone react to here being a retired and the legendary shinigami/God of death as punishment after her taking her old life.

(aperntly the undertaker was sutch a good shinigami little kids ask him to take them out there suffering )

And how would her mourning lockets she wairs imagine that everyone in the eastern empire wanting something like that to remember the deseast (hair jewelry was popular back in the days )

https://at.tumblr.com/funnybutobscurereference/667873779638255616/zhodkwmoetzm

If the link doesn't work I'll send it to you.

Preface: After being teleported to the Eastern Empire, you took up the position of undertaker. Your coffins are known to be beautiful, worthy of the High Priest himself. You were also known to have valuable information… that came at a price for anyone else seeking your knowledge. You are summoned to the palace under the guise of a death and needing a coffin made, but in reality, the Imperial Family needed information.

Sovieshu

He was the one who sent the actual invitation. He needed some info about a neighboring country because he feared an attack. That’s when you arrive. You seemed awfully happy for someone of your profession. When you told him your unusual price, he offered to bring in the court jester, but you frowned, saying he needed to make you laugh.

He had noticed your mourning lockets, but never acknowledged him. For all he knew, you were just trying to smile to hide the pain. If only he knew that you were a reaper and collected a few souvenirs so that you would be able to remind yourself of your precious dolls.

He had invited you to stay in one of the guest rooms at the palace for a bit, and he was happy to hear that you accepted his offer. He had asked you to go on a walk with him and Rashta and you accepted (even though you really didn’t like the guy). Then, Rashta walked into you on purpose and your hair moved from your eyes. You brushed it to the side and Sovieshu got a glimpse of your beautiful eyes and the long scar you had.

You got angry and told him that you would be leaving the next day. After all, you could clearly tell that the mistress had bumped into you on purpose. Sovieshu had to admit that he nearly instantly fell for you and therefore didn’t want you to leave. You turned him down, telling him to not contact you unless it was either his or Navier’s coffin that needed to be built because you would never build one for Rashta.

Rashta

She had heard about you and your macabre craft, and she was very fascinated by it. She was also aware that you had some information about her old owners and decided to offer you some gems in exchange for it. You giggled and told her that you didn’t accept currency but rather jokes. 

She most definitely asked about your mourning lockets because she didn’t know (read: didn’t care) that it was supposed to be a personal matter rather than one that should be shared. You, being built different, gladly told her that they weren’t yours originally.

She was upset that Sovieshu only paid attention to you, so she had asked him if you all could go on a walk through the grounds altogether. During the walk, she had ‘bumped’ into you and it made your hat fall and your hair move to reveal your face. You grabbed your scythe and held it to the mistress’s neck, telling her how she was going to regret doing that.

Rashta was definitely scared for her life, but the Emperor was still so entranced by your beauty that you had all the time in the world. You whispered to her how she would be lucky to have a pauper’s funeral and how she couldn’t even dream of having one of your beautiful and custom-made coffins. Then you set about to make preparations back to your funeral parlor after insulting Sovieshu for the last time.

Navier

Even though her husband had sent the invitation, she had information that she needed to proceed on with her investigation about her anonymous letters. You told her your price, and she was kind of weirded out. She wasn’t good at telling jokes, after all.

She knows better than to ask about the lockets. However, she could tell that you weren’t in mourning despite your black clothing and top hat because you were simply too happy. Sure, grief manifests in many different ways, but this was different than grief. It was pure joy.

She was also walking in the garden when she witnessed the whole ordeal with Rashta pushing you so that your hat fell and your hair moved to reveal your phosphorescent eyes and your scar. Navier had rushed over and made sure you were okay before handing you your hat and leading you away. She sent a death glare towards her husband and his mistress.

You had informed her that you would be heading back to your funeral parlor. The Empress was already used to your unusual antics, so you had said that you are always available to take her measurements and design her a coffin so beautiful that not even the Heavens could compare.

Heinrey

He has also heard of you. Even though you were based in the Eastern Empire, you had no sworn loyalty and made coffins and performed funerals for everyone. He went to you before going to Navier to ask for information about her. He already knew your price, and told some pretty good jokes.

He never even noticed the mourning lockets, so he didn’t ask about it. When you had told him about them, he asked if you were close to the original owners. You giggled before revealing that you used to be a grim reaper and they were the lockets of the souls you had reaped. He has heard of reapers, so it didn’t freak him out too much.

You two were great friends and allies, so you probably had told him about how horrible Rashta was and how he was lucky to have Navier. You explained the situation, and he had to admit that what the mistress did was completely uncalled for. He may be a bit airheaded, but it wasn’t cool when someone messed with his friend.

When you heard about his and Navier’s plan, you had asked if you would be able to move your headquarters to the Western Kingdom because there was no way that Sovieshu or Rashta would ever even be able to look at one of your beloved coffins. You were a powerful ally, so he accepted.

Kosair

He has seen you around, and he had to admit that you were awfully happy for being a funeral director. However, you made great company in your free time. You were just awfully eccentric and he could relate to that. You both made each other laugh a lot, it could be a match made in purgatory.

By the time he asked about your mourning lockets, he already knew about your past occupation as a grim reaper. You explained that they belonged to some of the souls you had reaped, and some of them still had the hair of the victim. It was a common practice to keep lockets here, so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him.

You both were staying in the palace when Sovieshu invited you for a walk. When Rashta had pushed you, Kosair pushed her back. The Emperor didn’t intervene, and actually blamed his mistress for what had happened since he wanted to get on your good side and not lose you to Navier’s brother. Both of them thought you looked absolutely beautiful, but the latter led you away so you wouldn’t murder Rashta.

When Kosair was banished, Heinrey made sure to let you know that you were welcome as well. You packed up all your things and headed to the Western Kingdom, just to reunite with your beloved (now) knight. You both certainly made an odd couple, but Kosair couldn’t think of anybody else he would want by his side.

[goodboyaudios]

Okay! So before I announce the winner, I want to give out some accolades to 3 honorable mentions!

I also want to preface this by saying a lot of you did a really good job. I just KNEW I couldn't pick one winner based on art alone which is why I added the writing element to make it easier on me. EVEN SO, you guys clowned me pretty hard by being decent writers too haha! What I'm saying is, even after the contest is over and didn't win, if you ever want to discuss making your sona work in a public forum for your own future writing and entertainment, my door will always be open to you! My universe has infinite timelines, so even if you don't make MY canon, you'll always have your OWN canon timeline! I suppose this is my cheeky little way of saying, you're always winners in my eyes. Thank you for making this contest probably one of the biggest ones I've ever had. I seriously appreciate you guys.

Alright, enough gushing, here's our honorable mentions! First up we have Axle by @/colorfulmax on discord! I found myself loving the backstory for this character, despite not much being said. It really fit in with the wild west vibe and it really made me think about how the violent tendencies that destroyed his home, may be something that has carried with him without his knowledge.

Next! We have Ali Cranton by @/kitkat1840 on discord! This character REALLY stood out from the others in design for being less clean and more gritty. It felt very inspired by the movie "Rango" which set the stage for the backstory! The character is also very "grandmother" coded both in design and writing, which I thought was a very unique touch. An old lady bounty hunter who bakes cookies? Who can say no to that?

Finally our last honorable mention is Bo-Que from @jinx-you-lose! Bo-Que wasn't a good businessman, but still had the desire to make money. Something that fits really well within the lore. Simple yet effective with a clean design to boot. And great hair too. I am jelly!

[xplrvibes]

opinion on the finale of Hell week?

Apologies for the delay on this but I didn't watch it until late last night and didn't have the brain power to articulate my thoughts at the time.

Not that I'm in any better a state of mind now, but alas! This is the best it will get, so without further ado:

(As always spoilers and opinions behind the cut, so reader be aware)

I have really mixed feelings about this Hell Week finale.

I actually did like it (parts of it, anyway), I did. I think it fit in well with the story being told in the first two parts and was edited and storyboarded really well.

Here's the thing: I completely zoned out during the first 15 minutes or so. Like...another planet zoned out. There was too much yelling and shenanigans and I was tired, and I couldn't tell you what happened if you paid me to, to be perfectly honest.

I did enjoy the prom bit a little bit, although I thought them "inviting" ghosts from past investigations and having a high school style prom in an elementary school were both odd choices, but I did like the cinematography of the whole thing.

But the shit before that? Blank fucking slate.

But after Kris and Celina left and the ahit started hitting the fan? I perked up.

And boy was the second half of this video a revelation.

I have to preface all this by saying that I don't want to comment on Pythian Priestess or the work she does, because I don't have a full knowledge base of the rituals and what she practices. I'd prefer not to even go down that road when that isn't my particular highway.

So, I'm not going to add my 2 cents on any of that.

Instead, before I get into the big climax of the finale, I want to talk about Sam.

I wish I knew how to vocalize this in a way that wouldn't cause upset, but I don't, so here we go: this man is going to get himself and Colby killed if he doesn't chill the fuck out about wanting to prove the paranormal.

Seriously. This is a problem. I genuinely, genuinely think he would have lept for joy if Colby had said no to the boiler room, because that would've given him an opportunity to take one for the team and do it. I don't care what he said to the contrary - his mouth was saying, "it's safer if you do it," but his eyes were saying, "please don't do it so I can do it and have the Moment."

Look at when he asked the ouija board if *he* was in danger. If they had gotten a yes, he would've shoved Colby out of the way and koll-aid man'ed his way through the wall to get down there. He wants this shit, and he wants it to the exclusion of all reason and safety.

He's going to take it too far some day.

The fact that he knows this and doesn't seem to care is alarming.

And here's the crux of it - he wants it, and Colby doesn't. Colby's a God fearing man (yes yes yes Halloween costumes and blah blah blah but these things can and DO coincide). He doesn't want to put himself in these positions. He doesn't even seem to like going alone. Hes a believer, and he has a healthy amount of trepidation and fear.

And, according to some in the past, his convictions and something about his aura intimidates certain spirits.

So it's a mutual fear society on his side, but Sam's just like, "howdy pardner, step on in and take up shop in my soul!"

If there truly was some kind of dark entity in the vicinity of these two, which one do you think they'd target? The faithful man with plenty of fear to go around, or the guy jumping all over the room begging for a possession?

What I'm trying to say is: IN WHAT WORLD WAS SENDING COLBY DOWN THERE SAFER?

Morons lol.

So, with that in mind, let's talk about this boiler room thing.

First of all, I'm not saying there was or wasn't a possession, or a demonic entity, or what have you. I truly have no clue. None of us can say for sure.

But I can tell you this - Colby was in the throes of a panic attack.

Now, I say this because I have seen quite a few people trying to claim that Colby was "acting" and overdramatizing what happened down there. Putting aside the fact that Colby is a shit actor and we all know it...you cannot fake the effects of a panic attack like that. He can't fake the pale and bloodshot eyes, slurred and stunted speech, the trembling...that was real shit.

Was he also being possessed or developing an attachment? Maybe. Hard to tell. But I'm telling you that he was 100% having a panic attack.

And that was hard to watch.

Now Sam is a much, much better actor than Colby, so it's a little bit harder to discredit anyone saying he's acting in every scenario (believe it or not, that's a compliment). But he seemed to also show genuine fear and concern after leaving Colby alone in the basement, and after getting the responses he was getting. And that was genuine fear and concern when he got back to Colby and got a good look at the state of him.

I don't think any, and I mean any, of that was fake.

Again, I don't know if something attached itself to him or possessed him or what have you. I do think the slow look to the side and smirk was odd and cinematically creepy, but I don't know what it meant. I also think that Pythian Priestess' cleansing ritual happens to include a lot of elements used to calm people in the throes of a panic attack, so it's not surprising he felt better after interacting with her, whether there was something going on or not.

But say for the sake of argument he was either developing an attachment or being possessed. Think about the implications of that. A righteous man gets jog tied like a sacrificial lamb in a basement and challenges an evil being to show him it's power. Evil being proceeds to attempt to do just that. Righteous man somehow gets out of it and the whole evil being is summarily trapped in a jar and thrown in a river (or was he...?), and righteous man lives to fight another day.

Tell me that ain't a banging premise for an episode of Supernatural lol.

Anyway, the ending was really solid, if kind of alarming to watch at times - and by that I mean Colby planting a tree that was STILL IN THE POT - and I thought the little montage at the end was cute and heartwarming. The first 15 minutes almost took me out entirely, but then they really hooked me back in at the end. That's always, always a win.

Overall, I'd give this one a solid 7/10. I'd rewatch the second half of it again, that's for sure.

Anyway, this has been fun! Now that we've seen them all, what are your thoughts?

[jackinalex]

Would love to hear your thoughts on Glitter & Crimson. It’s about Jalex isn’t it

I really gotta stop mentioning things I'm afraid people will latch onto. Sigh. But tbh, I've been wanting an excuse to use my English teacher knowledge to analyze the shit out of that song in particular. If you took an AP English class, you know that it's 90% bullshitting you're way through claims and that is absolutely why I am who I am. This is so fucking long, dude.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time on this. Like I literally printed out the lyrics and annotated it like I was in college. But this is my shit, y’all. I love to analyze things. So, there’s a few different ways that I went about this: what the literary devices mean vs. what Alex (the liar) says the song means vs. the Jalex conspiracy theories that keep me in Delululand. Please scroll on if you don’t want to read about me being delusional about Jalex. Also, the very, very last of this is where we get into the absolute most delusional theory I have, so scroll to the bottom if that’s all you want.��

Let’s start off with what Alex has said about the song so that it can provide us at least a little context. Alex told Apple Music: “To me, this song is about two characters who are deeply in love, whose love is not allowed to be that by [a certain] society. They’re gay, and they don’t feel like they’re accepted in their own skin for who they are, or for who they want to love. It’s a cry out to seize that power back and saying, ‘No. You don’t get to dictate how we live our lives.’ Obviously, I can’t speak to that, being a straight guy, but I know a lot of people who live that experience every day. And it was something that felt very meaningful that I wanted to address for them because they can’t [in this way]. They aren’t songwriters.” This is less helpful context-wise, but he also told Kerrang: “This was dramatic to record (laughs). It was one of the last songs we wrote – in fact, it might have been the very last one. The record was almost done, but I felt like there were a couple of missing pieces. We actually went out to Big Bear [Lake, in California] – me, Jack, Zakk and Andrew. We rented a cabin and locked ourselves away for a minute. As we recorded Glitter & Crimson, it was one of those moments where we went, ‘Oh, thank god! We’ve got the thing that we were missing!’ I think the performance in the bridge is me almost knowing that it was the last take. It’s like when the director is about to call, ‘That’s a wrap!’ and everybody is like, ‘Holy shit!’ You feel that swell of relief and appreciation for getting through it.”

Most importantly, during the Wake Up, Sunshine Twitch Listening Party, Alex literally says he wrote G & C about Jack (starts at 1:36:26). Idc if he's joking, bro. It's good enough for me.

I guess the best way to go about the analysis is just to go lyric-by-lyric. Then, I’ll go a bit deeper into more of the bigger symbols. I want to preface this by saying that Alex probably did not mean for a lot of these things to mean what I’ve interpreted them to mean. And when I say I interpreted them, I mainly mean that I took what was given to me and recalled the connotations that these words carry (that was so wordy; idek if that made sense). 

It’s a typical story, three in the morning

You’re holding my head. 

To me, this seems fairly literal. Sitting with another person at 3 in the morning with them holding your head is really intimate. It could be after sex or just an intense conversation. I think that this is one of the lines that points toward this song being about a gay couple the most. I know he doesn’t specify what gender the couple is, but since Alex simply cannot write a song without inserting himself, I’m guessing they’re dudes. The holding my head kind of gives off that vibe to me, too. Anyone can hold anyone’s head, of course, but something about it just gives me the image of a guy holding a guy’s head. No matter how you spin it (head on the shoulder, head on the lap, etc.) it is super intimate, which means that this is a situation between two people who are very close. It’s vulnerable, too. There’s also the idiom “to hold something over someone’s head,” but I do think that the meaning here is literal. The idiom doesn’t make sense here. We gotta remember that Jack and Alex (and Zakk and Andrew) wrote this song together at a lake house. Every time I hear the opening lines, I think about Jack and Alex being together at 3 am in the lake house in one of those bedrooms, Jack holding Alex’s head. 🥺 

Caught in the tension, silent confessions

At the foot of your bed

The tension line could be in reference to the relationship, which we know is not accepted by those around them. It could also just be another reference to sex lol. I’m leaning more toward the former, though. I think the silent confessions depend on where the couple is at in their relationship. If they’re established, I think it’s probably a confession of love (like, we’ve been seeing each other, but I’m actually in love with you). But if it’s in the very early stages, the confession could be the confession of feelings. These two people are really close, so if they’re not yet a couple, then they’re definitely best friends. “At the foot of your bed” makes me think about sex again lol (specifically head because…Yeah). 

Glitter and crimson, fighting the friction

What a perfect mess

Glitter and crimson are massive metaphors/symbols in this song, so I’m going to hold off on going too far into that just yet. For now, we can discuss how the two are contrasting. Glitter is pretty and can symbolize the beautiful things in life (it can symbolize a lot of other things, too, which we will get to, promise). Crimson, on the other hand, often represents blood and violence (and a lot of other things, too), so this is one of the first instances of conflicting ideas and feelings. The two ideas come together despite being opposites. “Fighting the friction” could be another reference to tension, whether it’s conflict brought about because of societal pressure, or sexual tension. It could even be both. 

While I know that Alex definitely wasn’t trying to reference pride or the history of it, the mention of glitter was an excellent way of doing so. Glitter has a rich history with the LGBT community. It is tied with queer nightlife and the performance arts of drag, burlesque, and cabaret. In the past, it was a way to signal queer identity to other queer people, a practice that some people use to this day. It was also used as a kind of beauty and/or gender defiance when men were ostracized for presenting femininely and women were ostracized for presenting masculinely (Dorwart). Overall, glitter can also symbolize fakeness, materialism, greed, treasure, and excitement. In the instance of the lyric, I tend to think that the glitter is representative of the beauty of the situation, but also having to hide the relationship (the “characters” are being fake by hiding their relationship. 

While crimson can symbolize blood, violence, anger, warning or revenge (which is what I believe its main purpose is with the lyric), it can also represent vigor, passion, love, and courage. I definitely think that love and passion are an important part of this, too. Every facet of this relationship is intense, whether it be a negative or positive thing. This is also hedging into Delululand, but crimson (it’s called red in the flag, but the shade is definitely crimson) was one of the colors of the original pride flag, representing life. I’m certain that Alex was not thinking of the pride flag when he wrote this song, but there are so many references that he did accidentally that this song could be a gay anthem tbh. 

With the “perfect mess” line, Alex has given us an oxymoron and another example of contrast. The two words are technically opposites, but when they come together, they create a new meaning. In the narrative, this refers to the relationship feeling so good and right to the guys, but not allowed by society, those around them, and even maybe themselves. If we look at it through a Jalex lens, the “mess” could easily be the conflict between them having feelings for one another and the pressures of the band and their friendship (a very classic fanfic trope for a good reason). There’s a lot to lose if things don’t work out, so there’s a very real question of whether pursuing a relationship is worth it. As we’ll get to later, it definitely seems like it is to them. 

I wonder if you feel kinda like I feel

Temporary

These lines feel fairly literal to me. To feel temporary means to feel impermanent or uncertain. I think that both could be prevalent here. I also think that those feelings pertain to both the relationship and just their lives in general. It feels like the relationship can’t last because that’s what society tells them, and the uncertainty comes from not knowing if they even want it to (because they too are influenced by society). Alex has always written a lot about existentialism and these two lines strongly evoke that concept (which, to me, is more proof of the song being written from his perspective vs some “character” but we’ll get into more instances of that later). 

Fixed on a moment just out of focus

And we can’t quite see 

Being us ain’t good for us

I put these three lines together because they finish out the first verse and because there is significant enjambment, too. The first line is literal in the sense that the two characters (air quotes) in the song are trying to imagine what a good life together could be like, but they’re struggling too because that future seems so impossible (as we see with the second line). However, “and we can’t quite see” also brings into the second idea here. They can’t see the future and it also seems like being themselves and together isn’t good for them (probably because it’s dangerous for a lot of queer people in the world, even still). That leads us into the chorus, which is where we get to the cry out of the chorus. 

And I don’t wanna wait till the sunshine fades

And bury our love in a shallow grave 

Sunshinesymbolized happiness and life, so by the sunshine fading, that has to do with the beauty and goodness of the relationship wearing off (whether that be due to societal pushback or just conflict between the two guys). Sunshine is also what the yellow represented on the original pride flag. Again, I do not think that Alex ever intentionally referenced the flag, but…Anyway, it could also just be a little wink to the album itself “Wake Up Sunshine” or the song on the album. That song is also about existentialism to a certain extent, though it’s directed toward someone else and not about the narrator’s issues with it. Meanwhile, typically, shallow graves are done hastily by criminals (not always, but that’s what it is most associated with) because they don’t take much time or effort to dig. Alex (and Jack; Jesus, I keep forgetting he helped write this song) probably chose to pair these two lines because they almost have the same amount of syllables (11 vs. 10), but it’s also possible that he chose this specific phrase because being gay was a criminal offense for years. A shallow grave also indicates urgency and haphazardness, which would mean that the burial would probably be unplanned and quick. The narrator (Alex) is clear about not wanting that. 

Cause the world could be cruel to us or

We could live for the dangerous so

Let’s start, let’s start a riot

Just like a few lines ago, I included these three together for the enjambment. The first line is straightforward, supporting the idea of society being unaccepting to the couple. When we put it with the second line, it’s reiterating that though the world is cruel, they could live for it instead of being afraid of it. When we pair the second line with the third, the narrator is saying that he wants to stop being afraid and instead embrace and fight for what he and his lover have. It is impossible for me to ignore the term “riot” being used here in a queer context because the first pride was a riot! I’m sure most of you know about the Stonewall riots, but if not, here’s a bit of background: there was a small dive bar in NYC called the Stonewall Inn, which LGBT+ frequented. In an article entitled "The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month” for American University Washington DC, Patty Housman writes: 

 At the time there existed outdated “masquerade” or “cross-dressing” laws that suggested a “man” or a “woman” must be wearing a certain number of clothing items that matched the gender on their state-issued ID. The police took advantage of these laws to raid drinking establishments and arrest transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Just after midnight on June 28, 1969, the police raided the Stonewall Inn like they had many times before. Only, this time, something unusual happened: Stonewall patrons fought back.

There are conflicting stories about what actually happened, but essentially queer people fought back against the police brutality that had been plaguing them for quite some time. They were targeted, attacked, humiliated, arrested, and even worse, and they were fed up. Since this event took place in June, we now celebrate in America every June. And again, I’m sure that Alex and Jack didn’t intend to reference Stonewall, but I’m deep into queer theory now, so there’s no going back. Sometimes meanings can appear in works without the original composer even realizing it. Long story short, the riot is a way to take power back, whether it be the metaphorical riot in this song or the proverbial riots at Stonewall. And since this is supposed to be a queer song that references a riot, Stonewall must be discussed. 

Hard to sit still when your head’s on fire 

Oh, oh yeah

The saying “my head’s on fire” means that one is stressed or overwhelmed. However, “your head’s on fire” indicates that someone is lying. Therefore, I think this line has a dual meaning. I think that it references both here because a) the narrator is frustrated with having to hide his love from society, but it can also indicate that they’ve been lying (i.e, hiding their relationship). “Hard to sit still” calls back to the riot idea. It can be difficult to sit idly by when you know for sure that something is wrong. The narrator is tired of sitting around and hiding their relationship. 

‘Cause I’m a supernova 

And you’re my four leaf clover

These two symbols are the most important (besides glitter and crimson) in the entire song. This is entirely metaphor; there’s nothing literal in these two lines. The narrator compares himself to a supernova, which is the greatest explosion humans have ever seen. They are the “extremely bright and super powerful explosion of a star.” Supernovas signify destruction and renewal, so the narrator is seeking a new beginning of some sort. On the other hand, four-leaf clover have always symbolized luck, but they can also represent protection and the uncommon. Traditionally, each leaf of a four leaf clover signified something different: hope, faith, luck, and charity. Therefore, the narrator sees his lover as somewhat of a good luck charm. He’s different from others, but he’s everything to the narrator. 

This is where I get the most Delulu, so just keep that in mind as you’re reading. I’m now going to argue that the supernova represents Alex and the four-leaf clover represents Jack. I’m not pulling this completely out of my ass, I promise. Alex is obsessed with space. He brings it up every chance he gets and if you listened to Full Frontal, you know how annoying it could get lmao. Point is, the man loves some fucking space, okay? To Alex, Jack has always represented goodness. Nothing sums it up better than his birthday post for him here. He literally sees him as a “bright light in this weird world” and loves him “times a million.” But there’s been countless instances of Alex singing Jack’s praises (and even more of Jack singing Alex’s). This last tour, Jack’s been spending every moment trying to make Alex happy and keep him laughing, and ya know, Alex can lie all he wants and say that “Kill Ur Vibe” isn’t about Jack, but it absolutely fucking is, even if he doesn’t know that. Alex sees himself as a supernova and Jack as a four-leaf clover. Jack is not only a rarity, but also just a constant sign of goodness in Alex’s life and that, my dudes, is fucking beautiful. 

There is also a specific species of clover called crimson clover. I doubt that Alex thought about this while they were writing this song, but when I started working on this analysis, it occurred to me that I’d heard the two phrases before in a Lana del Rey song. And if you guys know Jack, he loves Lana. In “Venice Bitch,” she has a line that says, “Me myself, I like diamonds//My baby crimson and clover.” This line is a reference to the song “Crimson & Clover” by Tommy James and the Shondells. It’s a song about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be. I don’t know if there was any thinking about this song during the writing of G & C, but it’s interesting how the two songs are essentially about the same thing (just in different contexts). G & C is about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be, but through a more cynical lens (at first). The use of the ampersand in both songs is curious, too. I don’t doubt that Alex is aware of this song, but I don’t know that it had much of an influence on it. I do love the idea that Alex wrote about crimson and clover in the same song for Jack (who loves Lana) or even that it was Jack’s idea in the first place. It’s just cute. 

Crimson clover doesn’t have a ton of ideas associated it with it, but some people tend to see it as a sign of growth, resilience, love, and affection. The latter two are probably related to it being red and I would assume that the Tommy James and the Shondells song helped with that connotation, too. It’s the growth and resilience that really intrigues me, though. They grow throughout the winter, which is fascinating and definitely lets that resilience ring true. If we’re to link those concepts to the song, the narrator believes that their relationship is resilient and growing, maturing in a way that it necessary for them to thrive. Winter can symbolize hard, rough times, and so the narrator views their relationship as troubled (whether it be because of the way they’re viewed or because of their own issues), but resilient and able to survive the difficult times. 

Time to stop being insane about the last two lines and get into the second verse and bridge. 

Heavy as ever, light as a feather 

I’m caught in between

“Light as a feather” is a common idiom (and synonym) for having very light weight and/or being light and free. Here, the narrator is contrasting the feeling of being free and light because they’re so happy with their lover with the fact that he also feels “heavy,” which means hard to endure or emotionally taxing. When used literally, heavy refers to something being hard to carry because of its weight. So while the narrator is happy, he is also sad and probably anxious and unsure because of the oppression he and his lover are facing. The second line is telling us that verbatim; he is torn between focusing on being happy with his lover and the negative feelings associated with their sexualities and relationship. 

Hard to stay focused, process the progress

How long can we be

Happy if happy ain’t meant for us 

This calls back to the lines before it. Again, it’s hard for the narrator to focus on how happy the relationship makes him because of how bad society and oppression makes him feel. “Process the progress” probably means that it’s difficult for him to focus on how much their relationship has grown because of how anxious he also is. Progress is also a term used frequently with LGBTQ+ issues. We use “progress” to describe how things have improved for queer folks in the last few decades. I think the narrator could be referring to that, as well, that it’s hard to look at how much progress has been made as a society when things are still bad (especially for trans folks). The second and third lines see the narrator expressing his anxiety again. Yes, he’s very happy with his lover, but society is constantly telling him that they won’t work out, and he’s worried that some part of that is right.

Cause being less ain’t good enough

But being us feels good to us

To be less means not as good or esteemed as someone else. In this sense, I take it as the narrator saying that he has been suppressing part of himself (his sexuality and relationship), since to suppress part of yourself makes you “less,” in a way (I hope that makes sense). Essentially, if you’re not presenting all of yourself, part of you is missing, hence “less.” The narrator says that being less isn’t good enough, which I take as meaning that not being their full, authentic selves is not enough, and by enough, he means he doesn’t want to settle for hiding their relationship in the way that they have been. And besides, with the line, “being us feels good to us,” the narrator is expressing that being with his lover feels right despite all of the anxiety he feels. 

I’m skipping the chorus, obviously, so let’s get into the bridge. 

No compromise, no second best

There’s no stopping now, this weight on my chest

This is the beginning of the cry out in which the couple takes their power back. No compromise means no more suppressing themselves, which reminds me a lot of the old idea of gay people being allowed to exist and be with their partners at home and in LGBT+ spaces, but nowhere else. The narrator is saying that he’s not doing this anymore. This could be what “second best” is, whereas the best situation would be where they are accepted and allowed to be themselves everywhere, though I do wonder if second best could also refer to the concept of “playing straight,” which is where queer people date only people of the opposite sex in order to fit societal norms. People have historically done this to stay alive. It’s not as common anymore, but it’s definitely something that still happens. This could be a reference to the men dating (or even marrying) women in order to hide their sexuality and not ruffle society’s feathers. 

The narrator is putting an end to whatever the compromise and second best are, though. He’s going to be open and honest with himself, his lover, and the world, and that’s what the “no stopping now” refers to. He’s done pretending and making himself lesser to make other people comfortable. “The weight on my chest” is the huge uncertainty and anxiety of his relationship. He’s getting rid of it. It could also be anticipation, though, which would be the anticipation of taking his power back. It’s an important, hard thing that is going to change the course of his life forever. 

I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less

I won’t settle for less, I won’t settle for less

I think this is pretty literal. The narrator is not going to sit down and be quiet (and thus, hide his authentic self), and he’s not going to settle for anything but being his authentic self. I do think that the “won’t settle down” could be read as an allusion to Stonewall, since the queer folks that protested those three days were constantly told to just calm down for many years before they finally fought back. “Settle down” could also be a reference to playing straight since settling down often entails getting married to someone of the opposite sex and having children (*I look into the camera like I’m on a mockumentary*). This could also mean that the narrator is not going to be with a woman to appease society. They utilize parallelism (and thusly, repetition) here. Repetition is almost always utilized to emphasize a feeling or idea, create rhythm, and/or develop a sense of urgency. I definitely believe that the use of repetition here is used for emphasis. Not settling is an important theme of the song. Parallelism is also used to create emphasis, but also to create flow between lines, which is always necessary for songs. I’m sure there’s probably more literary devices in the song, but I doubt you guys want me to go too much farther into that lol. 

To sum up, the song is rich with metaphors and allusions (even if Alex wasn’t aware of the latter when they were writing it). I think it has the potential of being a great queer anthem. I don’t know that it will ever become that, but all of these possible references to pride and Stonewall are so fucking good (even if it’s just from happenstance). This may make me totally fucking insane, but I can’t ignore the fact that Alex wrote this song with Jack at a cabin in Big Bear, the album was released, and then like eight months later, Alex and Lisa were split up. Then, like another month passed, and Alex was living with Jack. I’m aware that I’m delusional, but this isn’t even me speculating; I’m just reporting events in the order they happened. Take that as you will. 

Works Cited 

Dorwart, Laura. “Inside the Fascinating History of Glitter and Gay Culture.” Byrdie, 15 February 2022. https://www.byrdie.com/history-of-glitter.

Patty Housman. “The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month.” American University Washington D.C.,10 June 2022. 

“What Is a Supernova?” NASA, NASA, 23 July 2021, spaceplace.nasa.gov/supernova/en/. 

[satancopilotsmytardis]

omg!! plz tell us about ur fnaf au!!

I have been let off my leash again!!! Okay so I want to preface this with what the state of FNAF lore was like when I started working on this:

Started working on this between the release of FNAF4 and Sister Location, ended shortly after the reveal of Michael's "I'm coming to find you"/Robot spaghetti endings.

Back when the Puppet was still using He/him pronouns and we had limited knowledge about Charlie/Henry, etc. past the stuff from FNAF: World and I think the Silver Eyes novel.

This was still firmly at the tail end of people switching from calling Purple Guy Vincent in their AUs to using William Afton because of the books.

Very little of this will match anything even remotely canon including names.

So the AU was what I called the 'Afton Siblings AU':

Basic premise: None of the Afton children died. They still went through deeply traumatic shit and grew up under their father's thumb until he got arrested for the Missing Children's Incident, released, and then fucked off into the ether.

Michael: 26, he works as the nighttime security officer at their Fazbear's location. When he was 13 he stuck his brother's head into Freddy's mouth on his birthday as a prank after treating his brother like shit in the wake of their mom leaving them, and Caleb nearly died. Their father ended up sticking his own arm into the mouth of the animatronic and breaking his hand very badly, but kept Freddy from crunching all the way through Caleb's skull and killing him. Once William healed up, he brought Michael back to the restaurant and killed all of Michael's friends to make a point. Michael has been in charge of taking care of his siblings ever since.

Bailey (Baby): 23, the tallest of the kids, which is something she delights in literally holding over her brothers. She works as their Fazbear's location's mechanic. She keeps the animatronics running and it the only one who is aware that the suits aren't just haunted, but that the bodies are inside of the suits as well.

Caleb (Crying Child): 18, he works as a server at the Fazbear's location he once almost died at when he was a little kid. He forgave Michael years ago for the incident and he has the best relationship with the animatronics because the echo of his childhood trauma is still lingering in the pizzeria as Golden Freddy. (Think Stone Tape theory)

The Afton kids are all pseudo-adopted by Henry when shit goes down, and he makes sure that they have jobs and bought them their childhood home when everything goes tits up and their father is in the wind. They all call him 'Uncle Henry' and he doesn't hold what William has done against them, but none of them have ever directly talked about that with Henry. They all live together and are just trying to keep things at the pizzeria calm and under control as their father keeps, somehow, going around and continuing to rack up his body count.

However, I got distracted before I ever fully fleshed out this AU by some side characters and their extremely unhinged sex life. So hey, y'all remember Jeremy?

Jeremy Fitzgerald: 25 forever, died in 1987 when the Mangle bit through his skull, taking one of his eyes and causing catastrophic brain damage. As with all things in a Fazbear's location, he could not simply stay dead, and Fazbear Entertainment dug up his corpse (or perhaps never let his body be buried in the first place, he's not sure) and sat him back in the security office to continue doing his job after death, and uh, to his great displeasure, yes that absolutely worked. He is stuck in a haunting loop like the animatronics and continues to do his job for many years.

Nightmarionne/the Puppet/Net/Marion: Looks like the normal puppet during the day/to other people, but to Jeremy, he looks like Nightmarrionne because Jeremy can now see how he's been twisted and warped by his need for vengeance. However, he normally puts that aside to care for the 'children'. Somehow, pre-FNAF6 I had decided that he would grow and be more fully sapient than the rest of the animal-suit-bound animatronics and I was accidentally right about that.

Jeremy and Net start off very contentiously, because Net thinks that Jeremy stole the 'gift' of life after death somehow, which would tie him back to 'The Man' who the animatronics know as their murderer.

Jeremy, of course, has no fucking idea what he's talking about. He still gets tortured about it though.

Years pass and eventually Jeremy's brain kind of rewires to the pain of being tortured, especially because no matter what Net does to him (or the other animatronics cause he does end up in a suit more than once), it's all temporary. Net eventually explains to him about the children, the gift, the murders, and they (as essentially the only adults in the building) try to look after it and the other suits.

Jeremy pops a boner while Net's playing with his offal one night and the rest is pretty gory history with them genuinely falling in love and having a very healthy and trusting relationship-- where half of their sex is body horror but, shhh 🤫

All is fine and dandy until their location gets marked for re-opening and Henry sends Michael to go to that location and check it out, where he meets Jeremy, finds out their location is also haunted, and Jeremy learns that because he's haunting his own corpse, he's not actually bound to the same rules as the animatronics. He can leave the building, stay up after 6am, and etc. he just hadn't because he was so conditioned by the others he never tried.

Jeremy befriends the Afton kids not knowing about their father, and that creates further conflict down the line when William comes back into town for some reason.

(he also has a very weird threesome with Michael and Net at one point, but you know, that's not important)

(Baily also makes Net a strap but that's also not important)

I spent... more time writing Jeremy/Net porn than I want to admit to, frankly, and this fic eventually started to be adapted into my Everrealm Amusement Park story that I also never finished.

[quietwingsinthesky]

(Transmasc-rose) Have you ever heard that they were, at several points during the old who days, going to make the Doctor and the Master brothers? In Planet of Fire the Master says "Won't you show mercy to your own ..." which the director and producer of the episode both said was intended to end with "brother", and in the scrapped reboot they were supposed to be half-brothers.

It seemed relevant to your interests.

u must imagine me kicking my feet and blushing and twirling my hair. 🥰 yeah. yeah, i know.

like. okay first lets get out of the way how fucking funny it would be if they ever backtrack their way into this twist again somehow. the utter chaos that would unleash upon the thoschei section of the fandom. imagine that one anime that just got a cousin reveal after a decade of yaoi but by the magnitude of like 50 years of doctor/master shipping. it would be so funny to me, i wanna peek into that universe.

but like god. god. there is something so appealing to me about this idea of them as star-crossed siblings. it’s the spn fan in me, it makes me insane. what if you grew up next to this boy, your worlds revolve round each other, and then as adults, you can never be that close again, you won’t even call each other siblings anymore. just childhood friends. someone you once thought you knew.

i have not seen Planet of Fire (classic who? i’m assuming. and im now very excited for that episode specifically for um. normal reasons.) but Something about the master being the one to bring it up, to call on a brother’s mercy…… thinks about last of the time lords with canon siblings doctor & master. because something i’ve picked up watching doctor who is just how Certain the doctor is that the master will survive, despite all odds, that he’ll find a way back. (something the master has always proven him right about.) and that’s such a powerfully resonant feeling with having a sibling. imagining a world without them is like imagining a world without air, in my eyes, so of course, if we put the master in the role of the doctor’s brother in this scenario, of course he will survive. wah the way it just slightly changes the framing of all the little things, the way this scenario takes the master’s childish “i win” and twists it as old as a sibling rivalry…

im such a sucker for sibling tragedy, i really am. i know im also the haha incest guy, which can be a component of the tragedy, but i really do fall to pieces for just the pure platonic stuff, too. it’s unreplicable, the intensity of that pain. and then. okay, every time i speculate on timeless child stuff, i preface it with me not having seen it just Knowing the basics and making shit up according to the lore ive gathered BUT. but. if ever there was a storyline that would have benefitted from them being siblings over them being childhood friends turned rivals, i really think it would be that one. because it digs into the core of it, of the lie, the unknown rift between them that drives the master to ruin. and god something about them being adopted siblings (without their knowledge) but the doctor still being stitched deep down into the Master’s bones, the core of them wrapped around the Doctor’s existence. the way it both matters so fucking much that this is the lie their bond is based on, but also how can it matter. how can it matter. when she’s in his blood anyway, she would have been if they’d been born together or like this. (and that he isn’t. or maybe, more accurately, that he thinks he isn’t and never will be.

oh, my soul for a version of this show where the master has been calling the doctor brother/sister/sibling all this time without the doctor reciprocating except very rarely, when they’re at their most emotionally vulnerable together (like the end of time ‘stone cold brilliant’ monologue. sorry. getting distracted.) and then suddenly. the master stops calling her that. like come on, that would be such fucked up foreshadowing, i can’t be the only one who thinks that would work so well. it’s all about the framing, all about the very slightly different context that friends versus siblings gives them to flavor the tragedy. the endpoint may be the same, but the pain is different, does that make sense?

and. and also i think it would be hot if they were. so. you know. there’s that. i’m not going to deny that i’m Like That. im a freak who enjoys when familial obsession spirals beyond control and into a horrible, outcast kind of love. they’re renegade time lords, for fuck’s sake, let them do a little incest for funsies. 🤭 drop a story of them at the academy always being a little too close, always making everyone else uncomfortable because of how inseparable they were. 🤭🤭 let the doctor avoid bringing up how they’re related so they don’t have to explain this shameful thing to their companions only for the master to flaunt it because the doctor wishes they could forget it, stop feeling these things, stop wanting the master. 🤭🥴🤭🥴🤭

to be clear, this is. obviously not something id actually want on the show, or would ever be on there, they’re not gonna put time travel incest on disney+. (hell, i don’t even think the siblings twist is preferable to the dynamic they already have except in the specific scenario it would have created for ttc between them.) but like. its fun for me to think about <3 i love when the doctor is filled with an incalculable amount of shame for their own actions—actions they keep repeating because its the master and the doctor needs them—and the master has fun tormenting them about it. but incest flavored this time :3

(as anytime i think about thoschei incest i Need to plug this anonymous fic that lives rentfree in my brain: connection. its sooooo. 🥴🥴🥴 oh they are gonna make me ill.)

[lixxen]

FNAF Security Breach Uniform Designs

For the last ten years I've been absolutely obsessed with FNAF. Lately I've been obsessed with the idea of what the Pizzaplex uniforms would be and how awful they probably would be (plus I wanted to cosplay a worker). So I decided to do a deep dive and create the most obnoxious uniforms ever.

I may actually make these very slowly and cosplay them at conventions. I was slightly inspired because of an artist on here does an xReader fic and I didn't see them in a specific uniform really, maybe besides a few accessories. So here we are. The most ugly FNAF uniforms you will ever see and I WILL expand to jackets and name tags on a later date.

(Explanations and designs UTC)

So, to preface I wanted to say that I am majoring in PR and social media management, so I have a little bit of an idea of how branding and marketing works. I've also have worn the most ugly uniforms in minimum wage jobs, so I do know that corporate companies do not care if they put their employees in the most ugly thing as long as it is on theme.

Things to consider:

What did uniforms for establishments in this category looked like over the years?

Are you doing specific uniforms for specific areas of the Pizzaplex?

What color pallets are branded to each character?

What aesthetic are you going for?

Establishments

For establishments, I chose Disney (theming being important and a big establishment that would hide skeletons) and Chuck E Cheese (animatronics and specifically the time frame). I did a deep dive on Chuck E Cheese and their uniforms in the 80-90's, which led me to doing a ton of Ebay and WorthPoint searching along with watching old taped birthdays from the 90's.

I personally believe that Fazbear Entertainment wouldn't stray from the bright and manufactured look that they have going and are very cheap, plus the glamrock phase was in the 70's. And companies tend to be very late to trends. So we can take these the fact that they would be ugly and bright uniforms that are severely outdated and put that together.

With this, you get something that looks like this (all being CEC besides the screencap of the movie trailer):

I used the idea that each area of the Pizzaplex would have its own uniform, much like Disney. So I assigned each of these uniforms a different animatronic's area (Roxy's Raceway, Mazercize, Superstar Daycare, Monsty's Wild Golf, and then for Freddy I did Rockstar Row). I did one general staff shirt, which is also very ugly.

Color Pallets

This was very simple. I just chose colors from the animatronics/their sign logos and then made a simple color pallet.

This process was easy enough and I made sure to give myself a few colors for some of the ones that had multiple shades or similar hues.

I didn't do Bonnie, only because he wasn't in the game. BUT, I do have a design in mind for him. And it is actually the least ugly one.

Uniforms

Each uniform comes with a polo and either a full cap or visor. You will wear them with either black or khaki colored pants or shorts, held up with a black belt. Black shoes. Then you will have a matching apron. The aprons I have not designed yet, so they will come with the others I am going to design.

Here are my ugly designs.

I hope y'all remember that they're supposed to be god awful and poorly drawn. I am not spending a ton of time perfecting them. I debated on putting the logo on the arms also, so that is an alternate design.

They're supposed to be ugly, not make sense other than theming, and just be obvious copy paste designs made just so they have a little bit of differentiating.

If anyone wants me to go deeper into it, I will. I'll make more shirts and make them even worse.

Please guys they're supposed to be poorly drawn and obnoxiously not good designs. I am using my shitty knowledge for bad

[dovand]

P.G. Wodehouse characters on panel shows

Because I had A Thought in the jerver (Jeeves x Wooster server) and had to expand it to Many Thoughts, owing to my normalness about both Wodehouse and britcom :)

Long & incredibly niche post (x"D) under the cut!

Preface: Characters covered vary and I may not be entirely accurate as I have not consumed as much Wodehouse as I'd like. Polite discussion entirely welcome (and, in fact, desired)!

QI

Jeeves would do well fact-wise but, owing to the fact that he does not watch the show and thus does not understand the format, would, on attempting to make a joke, be klaxoned to hell and back (possibly via goading by Alan). Unless he very carefully managed to dodge the goading he would not win and would be very bitter about it

The Elves would absolutely adore him btw. There'd be a behind the scenes photo of him looking puzzled/slightly scared while the Elves who are there on filming days all pose around him and grin at the camera

Would never forget to use his buzzer (regardless of how embarrassing it is) because he feels bad about interrupting. Would be very much unnerved by Stephen (obviously) and perhaps a little intimidated by how flamboyant he is. Aisling Bea would like him I think

Wooster would have no idea what was going on but would be endearing enough to make up for it entirely. Sort of like Johnny Vegas. He would have to be stopped forcibly from going on long rambling anecdotes a la Gyles Brandreth. If the host is Stephen he will not be paying any attention to anything being said the entire evening. Might win entirely by accident because he's saying nothing remotely relevant & thus is never klaxoned. (Though tbh he might have a heart attack before even starting the show on account of seeing a man who appears pretty much to be Jeeves wearing colour!)

Would get along well with Bill Bailey I think—agents of chaos the both of them. Alan would make fun of Wooster for being posh (a la the way the panel usually makes fun of Stephen). Would do very well on live demos. Stephry would adore him & he would not know what to do with it ("why is campier Jeeves so enamoured of me?"). Sandi would LOVE him. Might bring a blue whale plushie along for emotional support

Ukridge (and here my Wodehouse knowledge starts to thin) would very confidently be very incorrect but would be so charismatic about it that the Elves would forget to klaxon him until he was done speaking. Almost Rhod Gilbert-y levels of accidentally-on-purpose annoying (see: Rhod claiming that it gets totally dark at night in Denmark for like 5 minutes). Gyles Brandreth-levels of ability to talk at length. He starts spontaneously filibustering in the middle of the episode

8oo10cdc

(A.K.A. 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, but the full acronym is so much more fun)

Jeeves wins. Obviously. He would be guest team captain I think, and he would absolutely carry. Jon would be awkward the whole episode because he's being outperformed by this weird posh guy. The jokes about Jimmy being weird and non-expressive and android-like would be redirected at Jeeves and he would just kind of stare blankly at them

His mascot would be something very simple or something very strange/non-humorous (like. Not even a lucky fancy pen, just a fancy pen that writes well that he can use for the working-out). He'd get the conundrum immediately

If Joe Wilkinson was on to do A Bit you'd be able to see him looking confused in the background the entire time

Wooster is hopeless. Maybe if he's on a team with Jon or Jeeves he'd be able to scrape some points but, realistically, he's drawing on his paper the whole time. He takes to the mascot-ing with abject glee & does very well with that. Panel is not sure whether to make fun of Jimmy or Wooster for being posh. Russell Howard would like him

Would be delighted by a Joe cameo. Would be very polite when requesting his letters and/or numbers. Would delight Susie Dent

Ukridge is in Dictionary Corner fucking shit up. If he knows how to work PowerPoint then he's got a PowerPoint to back up his little bit of standup; if not he's got hand-drawn posters. Nobody is quite sure what he's talking about. There's something about ungulates in there. Possibly a mention of cellular respiration. He spends the whole episode asking Jimmy for money. He gets on with Joe.

Corky, for reasons* that go entirely unexplained sits quietly next to Ukridge in Dictionary Corner for the whole episode. He is not mentioned by name once. People in the YouTube comments are asking who the weird silent guy is & if anyone else can see him & if it's some avant-garde Bit that they're doing. Someone says they wish that they'd've tried this Bit out with Jimmy

(*He's emotional support)

Archie Moffam starts crying

Mock the Week

Wooster is entirely unfamiliar with current events. Lends a Milton Jones air to the whole panel. Dressed similarly to Ed Byrne; they are both made fun of for wearing waistcoats

Jeeves is not asked onto the show because he would start doing actual fully-fledged political commentary and being so good at it that nobody would feel comfortable interrupting him

Ukridge would have either Egg Scramble (i.e. Ed Gamble) or Milton Jones vibes for reasons I cannot explain. Would get distracted by the flies & start trying to catch them in his hands

Corky is too soft-spoken to get a word in edgewise

Would I Lie To You?

Jeeves has an excellent poker face & ability to distinguish truths from lies, rendering him excellent at parlour games. Unfortunately he does not understand what there is to be enjoyed in them & as such is only invited on for one episode. He does get into a good little argument with David about something horribly pedantic, though. Also Rob makes fun of him by doing his O.O face into camera and Jeeves entirely misses it

Wooster is great at telling stories but horrible at lying. Everyone loves having him on because he tells a captivating story but it's so so easy to tell when he's lying. Might team up with Lee to annoy David. Rob really likes him. Starts spinning on his chair when they're doing pick-ups, distracting everyone

Ukridge is pretty good at playing. His comedic rant abilities rival David's, except he's not actually really trying to be comedic. All his stories end up being about Schemes & he writes them down during the episode planning to try them. People think this is a bit. It is not.

Only Connect

Jeeves is far too literally-minded for the connecting board but he does remarkably well on the rest of it. Victoria pokes fun at him the entire episode for being posh. He does not notice

Wooster's mind works in such mysterious circuitous ways that he's actually rather good at the connecting board. Unfortunately he is bollocks at the rest of it

Big Fat Quiz

Jeeves does not do very well. Too much pop culture for him

Wooster also does not do very well. His mind is like a sieve except the sieve has very big holes. Or maybe even no holes tbh. So basically his mind is like a sieve if you took the mesh out and all you have left is the metal loop around the top. Essentially he remembers nothing about anything. He brings homemade* sandwiches for the snacking segment. He is goofy & delightful enough that he does quite well be he is not invited back on account of performing so terribly. He does wear a spiffing outfit for the occasion though

(*i.e. Jeeves-made)

Ukridge does surprisingly well. He does start talking about his schemes though. He tries to get Jimmy in on them. He does not succeed

Corky is apparently the only chap who reads the newspapers. He does quite well!

Reggie Pepper also reads the newspapers but he is too busy being inexplicably hot while phoning people from bed so he only gets the barebones of most stories

Taskmaster

(I don't know if this really counts as a panel show, but what the hell.)

Jeeves takes everything literally and is very polite to Alex during all of the tasks. His prize tasks are almost all underwhelming except for one that is accidentally genius. He is so single-mindedly focused during studio tasks that he looks like he is about to murder someone the entire time. Surprise tasks/extra rules that he didn't notice prompt him to stare blankly into the middle distance. Greg is baffled by and attracted to him in equal measure throughout the season. The fanbase is very starkly divided on him. He probably wins the series but not many episodes

Wooster is a sort of Mike Wozniak figure. Endearingly baffled the entire time. Moves in an odd but captivating manner. Committed to the bit. Starts telling anecdotes while he's meant to be doing tasks. Absolutely delights Greg. Is probably lifted up in a studio session at least once (a la Jacaster)

Archie Moffam continues crying

Ukridge wears his mackintosh to studio sessions. He is overly familiar with Alex, who looks despairingly into the camera every time he is manhandled or asked to help with a Scheme. Every prize task is either an opportunity to get Greg in on a Scheme, or to offload things he does not need from previous unsuccessful (i.e. all) Schemes. He gets second place and is pleased as punch about it

That's about all I have at the present moment. Perhaps I'll update with more characters once I've ventured further into the House of Wode. Tootle-pip for now!

[bliss-wily]

Can we know more about Bliss? The Majin girl that is. I remember seeing her back in the day interacting with Jr.

Bliss? She’s still around. I’ll just list some facts about her. To preface: This is kinda based on Xenoverse 2. I won’t mention much about Jr simply because my friend has left the fandom. Gacha Life, Xenoverse 2, and The Sims 4 have been used for illustrative purposes. I have tried over the years to make her believable. I didn’t want her to be flawless, I have tried to give her flaws and make sure she’s not overpowered. But anyway…you guys don’t need to read these long posts as they are just full of nonsense.

Name: Bliss

Age: Adult, age unknown

Height: Around 170cm

Species: Majin/Android (can freely switch)

Orientation: Pansexual

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

Mentor: Zarbon

Everything else is under the cut.

Bliss is a yellow majin with blue eyes. She has the ability to switch between two forms, one majin and one more human/android like.

She had worked for the time patrol and was the future warrior selected for the special mission but…

At some point she gets a little too close to the Frieza Force, much like Taino she ends up idolising the members. She’s kind of a free spirit in the sense that Bliss does what she wants. Elder Kai and the Supreme Kai of Time don’t frighten her.

That fearlessness is probably quite the flaw though. I imagine that would get her into a lot of trouble and a lot of scoldings from Zarbon.

Therefore, I imagine she ends up betraying the Time Patrol in favour of the Frieza Force. I think like Trunks she may have also attempted to alter the time line only for less noble reasons - Trunks did it for Gohan, but I think Bliss would get herself involved with the events of Namek.

Being part Majin means Blissy has a sweet tooth. Candy can cause problems, and she’s easily lured by it. Milk chocolate especially, and ice cream.

That would definitely get her into trouble as well, Bliss may be smart but she’s easy to distract.

Again following Xenoverse 2 and the little Frieza Force sub quest, I’d put her position in the ranks somewhere between Ginyu and Zarbon - but she still acts like Zarbon’s aide or subordinate despite outranking him.

I do this because I don’t want to make her overpowered - sure she’s a Majin but, it’s key to remember in terms of lore; the elites of the Frieza Force are still stupidly strong. As almost everyone now is god level - these elites are people who could probably destroy a planet without lifting a finger.

Also to note: rank ≠ power level. Besides power scaling is nonsensical at this point.

Know how Buu is protective over Hercule? That’s Bliss with Zarbon. She’s feisty as well. Even messing up his order will result in the staff at the ship’s mess hall will result in one of her outbursts.

Another flaw I give Bliss is that she gets swayed by her emotions a lot, if she’s mad her thought processes are out the window.

Android/human Bliss is more stoic and serious. Still, she’s overprotective. I don’t necessarily ship the two, but she just cares a lot about those she comes to respect.

She’s a bookworm, the woman can read for fun and loves to do so.

Research is another thing she loves to do, she loves gaining knowledge.

Can be a bit lazy though, will use her majin form and her stretchy limbs to reach things on the other side of the room (and to whack people part way across the ship).

Therefore, not uncommon to also see her taking long naps much to the disgruntlement of her mentor who has training planned.

In terms of uniform, I think she would have:

Sleeveless black jumpsuit with leggings.

Or two piece black tank top and leggings.

Maybe something on her wrists, or fingerless gloves.

Standard battle suit.

Plain white boots.

No scouter - as she was future warrior she can detect ki.

She can definitely test her mentor’s patience as she can go from serious to lazy at the drop of a hat. Has definitely decided to nap or eat sweets part way through battle before.

Liked by many of the grunts as she doesn’t care about rank. Be nice to her and she will be nice to you.

Try and be creepy towards her though and Zarbon will be less than kind (already established that he’s confirmed to be overprotective of his student).

She is a hoodie lover and quite often breaks the standard uniform to wear the hoodie. I’ve decided this as Majins are seen as acting odd by basically everyone else and this is odd! Even Frieza wears the battle suit in his first form.

The reason for hoodies? I think I recall something about Majin females being modest. Besides I’m sure Zarbon has influenced Bliss over the years too. Not just in her Majin form though, I’m sure the two have plenty of bitching sessions about the others.

Plus I think they would do each others hair and discuss skincare seeing as Majins have such smooth skin - I like to think that translates to her more human form too.

With that said, he did find her repulsive at first. Then again Majins are weird and can manipulate their bodies.

Oh! Bliss is also a big time vegetarian. Her diet is purely sweets, vegetables, rice, and soda. I’m sure this causes tension between her and her mentor but it’s fine. Could definitely see her freaking Zarbon out if she were to indulge herself in mass amounts of junk food. Dodoria would be encouraging it though.

She is well mannered despite her short comings, such as her lack of fear, her outbursts, her laziness…

She loves dogs. That’s another way she gets distracted in missions - if she sees a dog or an animal she can befriend, she ends up with a very annoyed mentor! She’s definitely snuck many pets back. And yes, she manages to care for every single one of them.

Squishmallow-in verse-equivalent, hoarder too, Bliss can be such a liability. However, at the right moment she can step up.

Note: Her non Majin form is much more mature. She’s not as impulse driven and is more calm and reliable. She’s the same height in both forms.

She’s blonde, and switches between hair down with a braid crowning her head or she goes for a ponytail.

Her combat style is mostly ki based and she does hang back. She can fight in hand to hand, as she isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty but she can strategise better from afar.

This very of Bliss can stay more calm under pressure as her impulse control is much better.

However; she has shortcomings like this too. She can be overly stoic which can result in her misreading situations or becoming frustrated with her comrades when they won’t listen to her.

She’s also lacking in confidence and is quite anxious. Her Majin form suppresses these flaws though. She’s not perfect but she doesn’t care.

But in either form she and Zarbon seem to be tied at the hip. I’ll leave their bond up to perception. I like keeping things open ended.

Hobbies: Reading, sleeping, calculus (because why not 😂), being a pest, shopping.

[captainsolocide]

solo talks about cbs elementary part 1

okay so yesterday I made post wondering if anyone would be interesting in hearing my cbs elementary thoughts. in the tags of that post I threatened said that one note was all it took to make this (a fleshed out series? of posts detailing pretty much everything I've ever thought about this show) happen, and for better or worse, I got that note, so instead of studying for one of my two midterms I have next week, I started this!

I am currently in the first half of season 4 but I started recording my thoughts from the very beginning. unfortunately they are very disorganized, so at least until I get to where I am currently watching I think I'm going to group these by multiple episodes. This section covers about the first half of season one

Since I've watched past the episodes I'll be talking about at first, I thought I would also add commentary if I have any hindsight to add to any of them. Any future knowledge commentary will prefaced as such.

Enjoy! and don't be afraid to leave your own thoughts if you feel so inclined, even if you completely disagree. I am insane about them so I am always ready to discuss :)

the good:

Holmes getting weird with his investigating (i.e. sniffing the walls, crawling around on the floor, licking things, etc.). It is very important to me that Holmes is, at the end of the day, a weird little guy

bitchy Holmes! Also very important to me! This also ties in with Holmes having emotions, but basically I just want Holmes to be written like the drama queen he is. (future solo thought: Elementary and JLM consistently do a good job of portraying him as such)

Avoidance of both teh stupid Watson and angry Watson trope. At this point, that's perfection

Holmes hates rich people! (future solo thought: I did not realize just how much copaganda there is in this how. it's very difficult to portray some of his more left-leaning ideals in shows like this, so I'm honestly glad for whatever scraps we can get)

I think Holmes having tattoos is a good call for a modernized version of him

crediting Watson with helping even when she hasn't done anything — this is something ACD!Holmes does as well and I think it's really funny (of course we know that Watson actually does help, just not always in obvious ways — sometimes even she's confused when Holmes thanks her, it's just funny the way he does this because he very rarely elaborates)

Encouraging Watson to make her own deductions (future solo thought: at this point in my watching this I didn't realize they were going to make Watson a detective in her own right, so this goes double now)

Telling Watson that she's necessary to his process fairly early into their relationship — we love codependent besties <3

Watson as a puzzle — not everyone likes this read of their relationship, but personally I love it

"WATSON!!!" — when Holmes yells her name like this I cannot help but be reminded of Jeremy Brett which can only do good things for my opinion of JLM's version

Holmes having daddy issues is always fun to explore, not mad at all if they decide to do more with this (future solo thought: I was very correct in this lmao)

Holmes just 🧍‍♂️-ing next to Watson's bed to wake her up occasionally. Again, reminds me of Brett, and it's objectively funny

"My dear Watson," I love this sentiment in the books when Holmes was saying this every other sentence, so seeing him say that at a time where it's not as common. It means a lot. To me.

Holmes' reaction to Watson calling herself his friend 🥹🥹

CIGARETTE ASH MONOGRAPH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

Okay. This one needs some explaining. Holmes starts out misogynistic does go in the good BECAUSE I think his growth through that can be a really interesting and important thing to watch — it shows that even the smartest of us can hold unconscious biases that we need to do work to undo

the bad

The reworking of Watson's backstory — not all of this is bad, in fact some of it was necessary to distinguish Joan as her own character, but I do resent how Watson's tragic backstory in this meant that her doctor title is not used, and I feel like taking away Watson's injuries was missed opportunity as well

no live-in Mrs. Hudson = Watson getting relegated to house keeper duties, something that character does not do in the books. wonder what the difference is here? (future solo thought: this was a bigger issue in season one, I think. as far as I can tell, there seems to be a more even sharing of household chores as their relationship develops more, but my point for early season one stands)

Copaganda. It's lame and not in line with Holmes' characterization if you think about it for more than two seconds. I understand he works with them sometimes, but the amount of respect they have Holmes have for the police is disgusting. there have been several episodes I could barely finish because it was just so so bad

Holmes called Freud a genius in season one. girl.

[thief-of-eggs]

HI Ok this is probably going to sound completely unhinged but bear with me: I have this issue where I have lots of ideas (usually very vague ones) for stories that I love to imagine writing—but when I actually get around to writing them I just stare at a blank page; or I have no idea for plot beyond some abstract concepts—I’ve been thinking a lot about Snowjanus recently, and—this is the unhinged part—one of my main interests is early American history and there was this guy named William Strachey who was the secretary of Jamestown, and also an attempted poet, and when I read TBOSAS I realized that I recognized the name Sejanus from one of his poems VPON SEIANVS, which was prefaced to Ben Johnson’s Seianus His Fall,—and it all just works so nicely together since they were contemporaries of Shakespeare (AND Seianus His Fall was performed at the Globe, and Strachey’s story of being shipwrecked very likely inspired The Tempest) who of course wrote The Tragedie of Coriolanus—now thematically or narratively I have no idea how these things would all fit together—I have a lot of other random ideas like that, or vibes but nothing concrete—this is basically a long-winded way of asking if you had any advice on how to go from “man this idea sure would be neat” to an actual story? (I’m obsessed with your writing btw <3)

Hi hi!!! I am happy to help!! Also I understand exactly what you mean- I only hope that my advice actually makes sense!!!

Ok so- for me personally, when it comes to getting rough ideas out onto a page, I have a couple different methods I follow:

- The first is, if I already have parts of a whole scene in mind, but I don’t know the beginning/ending, I often just write the part that I know. So if that means writing the climax for a story, even though I have no idea how I’ll get the plot there? Oh well. At least the idea is out, and often times that will inspire me more.

- If I have a hazy idea but no plot yet, I like to write out little bullet points. Sometimes bullet points as simple as: (using my fic Thoughts of you Consume as an example)

- Coryo and Sejanus begin to have hate sex

- Coryo starts to feel something more

- Sejanus pulls away. Coryo chases after

Like! Those bullet points give me NOTHING. But they also give me a baseline to begin working off of, and from there I can begin to envision where I want it to go. I’ll expand on each bullet point and add subcategories, which only helps make the plot outline grow

- Another method that I sometimes use is to just spitball ideas. I’ll set a timer sometimes, or just devote myself to the task, and will just write out any ideas that come to mind with a particular prompt, and then I take it from there. Example for the prompt “snowjanus first kiss”, I may write out stuff like this:

- Coryo kisses Sejanus after the arena scene, his emotions a whirl

- Sejanus kisses Coryo on the train, too damn happy to see him

- Their first kiss is a dare, and Coryo wont back down

- Sejanus kisses Coryo after a party, when they’re both mildy drunk and confused. Sejanus forgets it, but Coryo never does.

Then from there, I’ll examine each little start and see what I like best. In this scenario, I really like the last one (shoot now I’ll have to turn that into a fic lolol) so my next step would be to outline the plot. When does the party take place? How long does Coryo hold the knowledge in? Does he ever tell Sejanus?

And most importantly- how do I want the story to end? With them together? With Sejanus hanging? With the start of the 10th hunger games?

- One final method I do is daydreaming. I’ll put on a playlist inspired by the pairing and see where it takes me (thoughts of you consume was actually inspired by 2 songs- War of Hearts, and Howl by Florence + the machine). I’ll let my mind make whatever connections it wants to make, and I’ll jot down ideas as they come!

Sorry for the overly complex answer- I guess at the end of the day, I really have no tried and true method. It all depends on how inspired I am.

But I hope one of these methods can be useful to you!! The biggest thing I think is to not be afraid of writing stuff that you may end up discarding. If a connection doesn’t work, if a plot point doesn’t fit- it’s ok to scrap it!! It sucks to lose time, but if it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit.

I’d definitely recommend that you write out all the ways that Snowjanus connects to the historical elements that you said! Determine if you want to write some sort of crossover set in old times, or if you want to bring historical figure’s personality traits onto the characters of Sejanus and Coriolanus.

So yeah! I hope this helps, and feel free to reach out with any other questions!!! Sorry, my brain is quite a mess lol, but best of luck to you!!

[ashysmultifandomcatdump]

Why Fist Thingy is (or is in cahoots with) Walkie Talkie theory (and also my Actual Thoughts about Walkie Talkie)

here to tell you guys mytheory on why FIST THINGY IS THE SECRET INANIMATE INSANITY INVITATIONAL VILLAIN!!!!!! read it. (contains spoilers for iii17!!!)

(just wanna preface this with the fact this is mostly a joke!!! i thought of this while rewatching the whole show back in october and decided the new episode would be a time to post about it. did it for the funnies and the slightest chance there may be some merit to it)

Ok first item on the agenda this is gonna get wild so strap in tight or else it may blow your seatbelts off: iii has introduced the concept of fist thingy being sentient, doing things a non-sentient object would not do

this is something that the show has NEVER hinted at before, making it seem almost as if they’ve added this in specifically for a reason..an EVIL reason?!?! suspicious!!!

second! we have fist thingy Sending Contestants To Indefinite Island. we know it has to be intentional on fist thingy’s part, since it’s done consistently, HOWEVER. it is completely without mephone’s knowledge—until iii10, he had no idea about indefinite island at all and he did not give fist thingy the direction to send eliminated contestant characters there. which means that someone ELSE has to have done it—whoever is behind walkie talkie .. or fist thingy itself, perhaps ?! mysterious!!!

next up here at spot number three we have the springy connection. now that it has been confirmed that springy and walkie talkie Are Indeed working together, there is something Verrrrrry interesting i was thinking…what sort of object is fist thingy? a boxing glove. now, what do springy’s mitten-covered hands look like when curled into a fist (!!!), and particularly in this image at the end of the ep? THAT’S RIGHT, BOXING GLOVES!!! curious!!!

but ashy! i hear you cry out. this is all so farfetched! what reason would fist thingy have to be walkie talkie in the first place? well imagine this little ones. fist thingy is just like mephone. overly attached to the show. been here since the early days and wants it to go on forever. however it was mostly left behind in s2, save for a few scarce appearances—so it’s desperate for any chances to stay in use in s3 it finally finds a voice through the use of a walkie talkie (don’t. Don’t question how.) and tries to keep it going as much as it can because once it’s over—what use is it going to be anymore? also hey if you wanna add in the “something bad happens to every cohost” thing then fist thingy has a reason to hate the floor specifically—it’s shown frustration over not being able to send him away

or, Alternatively, it’s the other way around. what i mean is fist thingy still isn’t sentient but was hijacked and is being controlled by walkie talkie—still is walkie talkie, but not technically actually walkie talkie or just in cahoots with walkie talkie! either way it has to be one of them, because fist thingy wouldn’t just be sending contestants to indefinite island for no reason BUT YEAH!!! end of my awesome theory unless i remember some other point hope you enjoyed …

honestly it could end up being something Similar to this but with one major detail different. that’s what happened last time when i predicted bot in april 2021 but thought they were meeple made

if you want my Actual Thoughts behind walkie talkie. who it is, i don’t know exactly. but she’s definitely a kinda metaphor or stand-in for like, The Corporation, the way capitalism affects art, you know—the whole ai art metaphor as well as the whole deal with springy

she’s someone who wants to Profit from the show, i think. which is why she’s so desperate to keep it going like mephone is—not that she holds any sentimental value towards it, but because it’s popular, she wants to make it her cash cow and milk it dry and mephone is a person who would let it happen

she Could be from meeple, i suppose, but i don’t really think so? we’ll see. although she doesn’t appear to have any relations with it cobs Did enjoy profiting off of the show without mephone’s knowledge, aside from that though there doesn’t appear to be much reason to see them as the same this is just a Different corporation. a different capitalism, i guess! while cobs would orchestrate fights and such to make the show more exciting and adam begged for bow to stay because viewers liked her, walkie talkie doesn’t seem to really care about entertainment value. she doesn’t care about the art. she prefers quantity over quality and to get that quantity, to get The Money, she has to keep the show running for as long as she can, way past what’s natural. 2 different kinds of corporate meddling

the show has sponsorships. MAYBE THE LIFERING SPONSORS MEANT SOMETHING AFTER ALL!!! springy wants to sell a contestant as a mascot to endlessly profit off of them

etc etc this has gotten very long …im excited to see the finale!!! what is walkie talkie’s DEAL!!

[goldendiie]

ok i'm going to be an adult and give a little explanation as to why i've been missing for three months now. under the cut. heart.

BEFORE ANY OF YOU PANIC. I'm not quitting. I'm not saying goodbye.

I'm going to preface and say that I have been writing sarge/fillmore fanfic since I was fourteen years old. I am turning twenty-one at the end of the month. This December marks my seventh year of running this blog-- almost all of my teenage years were devoted to making cars fandom content.

I've realized, only recently, that I've trapped myself into a box by doing this. It was fun, for the first couple of years; I would just write whatever the hell I wanted, I would take requests, I would do anything. And then, once I started working on The Third Blink, and studying the 1960s, I realized that history was something I wanted to do professionally. I finished TB, and then I started working passively on Americana. I wanted to fully encompass the historical narrative of the peace movement, and make the argument that it self-destructed itself. More than anything, I wanted to spread knowledge. This is not to say that I’m not still having fun-- I have a blast doing this, and I always always always love talking to you guys about the AU. It's wonderful to know that I've created such an active and interested group based solely on the pursuit of this historical question-- even if it is through the lens of gay cars.

Now, four years after this all started, I'm waking up in that aforementioned box. The counterculture has become my entire life: I have dozens of books and resources saved for whenever I become an instructor, I'm an avid 60s alt fan, and I have an arsenal of potential theses that I want to approach in graduate school. But, in those four years, I haven't given myself the opportunity to explore more. I've been so headstrong about the 1960s that I failed to realize the vast richness of other historical pursuits. I was almost ignorant of them. This has been a hard epiphany to tackle. I've built my life around this, and it's hard to realize that I need to move on. (Alexa, play Landslide by Fleetwood Mac).

And, weirdly, South Park (of all things) is what brought me to the realization that I'm trapped in this box. I started watching the show, and then I started listening to different music, and enjoying different media. It was the most new stuff that I've ever consumed at once. At first, it was kind of terrifying: I had been one thing for the longest time. Once I started noticing that I was changing, growing into a different person, I didn't know what to do. But changing and growing is never a bad thing-- actually, it's the most human thing that anyone can do. Allowing myself this growth rather than continuing to confine myself into this box has been really, really awesome for me. I started laughing more, and taking things less seriously. I have new historical questions, and I feel as though I have been filled with life again. No longer am I disillusioned with my fanfic writing, or my professional work. I'm excited.

When I wrote the "everything happens for a reason" line in The Third Blink, I never thought much of it... until now. I think I was meant to find the cars fandom at fourteen (maybe earlier-- I made this blog at fourteen, but I was definitely in it for maybe a year before that), meant to start writing sargemore, meant to ask historical questions about the nature of their relationship-- All because it led me to where I am today. I'm applying to graduate school in December, and I still intend to write about the peace movement for my doctoral thesis. I think the same thing can be said about that life-changing epiphany that South Park (ugh) gave me: I've finally begun to realize that nothing is really that serious, and that changing and turning into someone you never expected to be is a good (even great!) thing.

After a certain point, I have to break out of this box. I can't always be Goldie, cars fanfic writer. I have to become myself, and I have to grow into my career and research pursuits. Becoming a better version of yourself is never a bad thing; nor is living your life free of any expectations. And, at any rate, a wise man once said: "It's futile to resist change."

So, I'm not saying goodbye. Not yet, anyway. I'm just taking a few steps back, becoming more passive. I still fully intend to finish Americana (and, maybe Nowhere, if I ever get around to working on it again), but I am not putting myself under any pressure to do so. It's been a long, crazy, incredible ride... But I think my retirement will be coming soon.

If you read all of that, thank you. I know this isn't stuff that you guys wanted to read, but the longer I went without saying anything, the worse I felt. Thank you.

Like I said, I'll still be around-- just not frequently.

Love y'all. -G.