#to me kevin will eat people all the time <3 love that freak

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

okay I also found some Mudstone Abyss implications: for their first date Kevin and Charles go to a restaurant that specializes in lip meat.

has kevin ever actually committed acts of cannibalism or did we as a fandom collectively hallucinate that

[juyeonszn]

SWEET

PAIRING lee juyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 4.61k

GENRES fluff ﹒ smut ﹒ minuscule bit of angst

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, boy next door/neighbor au, reader was in a toxic-ish relationship, juyo is so cute and so sweet, until he’s kinda 😵‍💫 yk?, um kevin and changmin appearances, reader being absolutely irrevocably impossibly down bad for juyeon’s hands, so hand kink lol, making out, vaginal fingering, cum eating…. lol, they get a little sappy at the end

SUMMARY maybe this was for the better. maybe it was okay to let your guard down every once in a while, so long as it was always for your flirty neighbor.

MORE i would like to apologize for putting this out a day late… um i was really busy preparing for my enhypen concert so 😭 not a lot of writing was happening since there wasn’t enough brain juice flowing. anyways. ENJOY <3 pls rb if u did! (ALSO THANK U REESE AND @sungbeam FOR BETAING AND EDITING <<<3 i love y’all sm)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri

If there was one thing you took pride in, it was your keen sense of hospitality.

You’d been raised as the type of girl to always be welcoming when a new face arrived, to be that guiding light for them as they adjusted to all the changes in their life. When you were little, your mother taught you to introduce yourself first, because you never knew if that person was shy or not. Of course, there was the usual ‘Stranger Danger’ pep talk, but it differed greatly from the new friend pep talk.

The first time you exhibited this wonderful trait of yours was in middle school when the foreign student in your class was forced to stand at the front of the room. He wasn’t necessarily shy, but you could tell he didn’t really enjoy being put on the spot, hands behind his back as he said his name and where he was from.

Kevin Moon. Age 13. Vancouver, Canada.

The only empty desk in the classroom was the one beside yours, and that was the golden opportunity to become best friends with the new kid. As soon as he settled into his seat and class had resumed as normal, you leaned over slightly and cupped a hand over your mouth to whisper loud enough that he could hear.

“Hi! I’m Y/N!”

He gave you a small smile in return and from then on, you and Kevin Moon were the best of friends.

The second time you proved your kindness was your freshman year of college. It was still syllabus week, but your professor had sent out an email over the weekend with papers that needed to be printed and brought to class. The guy next to you didn’t get the memo, freaking out over already messing things up on the first day.

You didn’t know him at all, but you felt bad that he was so stressed. In turn, you decided to rip up your own papers. He looked at you like you were crazy, maybe because you were. What idiot does something like that?

You give him a warm smile. “There. Now we’re both missing it.”

All he can do is laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m Changmin.”

“Y/N.”

After that, Ji Changmin came to be another one of your closest friends. It was kind of silly that something your mother instilled in you at a young age had become such a big part of your life. It brought you people who you’d cherish forever. But it also brought people you wish you’d never met.

“Get the fuck out.”

“Y/N, babe, we can work through this—”

“Are you deaf?” Your tone raises and your feet carry you to the front door, swinging it open. “I said to get out of my apartment.”

“We’ve been together for three years. You’re not gonna fight for us?” He pleads, clasping his hands as he stands in front of you.

“Why would I? Why should I stay with someone who doesn’t value me enough to stay loyal?” You seethe, your anger growing in size the longer you glare at his pathetic face. The face of a man you thought would love you until death did you part.

“She meant nothing to me!” He tries to rationalize with you, but you won’t have any of it. You weren’t stupid and you sure as hell weren’t blind.

“Do you take me as a fucking fool, Daehyun? I’ve known for months that you weren’t ‘working late at the office’. She even DMed me and showed me screenshots of your messages. Now get out before I call the cops.” You’re so pissed off that you don’t even realize you’re crying, fat tears trickling down your hot cheeks.

“After all I’ve done for you and all I’ve given you? You’re gonna act like a bitch?” He drops the innocent boyfriend act, backing you into the doorframe.

“Leave, Daehyun.” You say flatly. You’re not gonna give him the satisfaction of crumbling beneath the weight of his words. You knew the truth, you knew what kind of person he truly was after all this time.

He scoffs, grabbing his jacket off the hook beside him and finally storming out of your apartment. You cover your mouth with your hand to muffle the sobs that so badly want to escape. You watch as he bumps shoulders with a stranger holding a box, thankfully not looking back at you.

You make eye contact with said stranger, eyes wide like a child who’d just gotten caught with their hands in a cookie jar. His eyes resemble those of your friends’ when you told them you’d found out about your boyfriend’s infidelity. You both stand there for a moment, an impromptu staring contest ensuing.

Quickly, you snap out of your trance, cowering into your apartment. You vaguely remember the elderly woman across the hall mentioning that someone was moving into the unit beside yours. She had never told you a specific date, though. Had you known it was today, you might’ve expedited the dramatic break-up with Daehyun.

How could you possibly introduce yourself to him after he witnessed that? And in your current state; snot-nosed and teary-eyed? There was no way. You’d just have to postpone that for another day. Hopefully he didn’t mind too much.

“Was he cute?”

“Kevin, why is that what you’re worried about?” Changmin’s mouth pulls into a thin line, smacking the slightly older male over the back of the head. He winces, caressing the spot to ease the pain.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to that when I had just shoved my cheating ex boyfriend out of my apartment,” you push around the ramyeon on your plate with your chopsticks. “I do feel terrible that he had to see that though. But how can I face him after that?”

Kevin taps his chin with his index finger, lips pursed in thought. “Why don’t you bake for him? Welcome him to the complex like the hospitable neighbor you are.”

“That’s not a half bad idea, actually.” Changmin nods, shoveling some rice onto his spoon. The Pisces deadpans and reclines in his chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Okay, enough bickering you two. I need you to finish eating so I can start planning what to bake.”

The third time you practice your mother’s life lesson, is the next evening when you’re face-to-face with your neighbor’s door.

Your hands have begun to clam up beneath the warm tupperware of cookies you were holding. Were you supposed to just knock on his door like everything was fine and dandy? What if he wasn’t even home? Maybe you should just leave the baked goods with a note and—

The door swings open to reveal the stranger from a few days ago. However, this time he also wears that expression of shock, cat-like eyes widened. Your mouth moves like fish out of water, not sure what you should say or how you should say it. So you don’t think and you just act, extending the tupperware towards him.

“H-Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m your neighbor,” your speech is a little shaky, but you’re too nervous to focus on that. “I— um— I baked these for you as a housewarming gift to welcome you to the complex. As well as an apology for making you a bystander in my messy breakup.”

His features relax as a smile inches its way onto his face, graciously accepting the treats you made for him. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. And don’t even worry about it, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“N-No, you’re fine, I swear! We shouldn’t have aired our dirty laundry so publicly like that. You did nothing wrong.” You wave your hands as if physically dismissing his words. He lets out a little chuckle that warms your chest.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m glad that you left the dude. He sounded like a total asshole,” your neighbor tucks the tupperware under his arm, leaning against the threshold of his apartment. “You seem too nice to settle for somebody like that. From what I’ve seen, of course.”

You don’t know why that has your heart skipping a beat like a high school girl. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he really was cute. He had a boyish charm to him, but not so much so that it overpowered how handsome he was. Kevin was going to have a field day with this information.

“Uh, thank you. I should be getting back to my place now. I have an early day at work tomorrow. Have a good night!” You clear your throat to kick yourself out of whatever stupor you were about to fall into, bowing. As you’re turning on your heel to make the ten foot trip to your own apartment, he calls out your name.

“I’m Juyeon, by the way.” He grins, waving as you push open your door.

“Now that is quite the interesting development.” Kevin snorts, helping himself to one of the raspberry filled donuts you’d just finished baking.

“If you keep eating my product, I’m gonna have to kick you out of the kitchen and out of my bakery,” you chide, swatting his hands away from the baker’s rack. “And how is that interesting in the slightest? I literally gave him the cookies, apologized, and that was that.”

“He was literally flirting with you, Y/N. Changmin, tell her I’m right. Apparently I’m no longer a voice of reason here.” He says through a full mouth.

“I mean, yeah? Kinda? Calling a girl nice is usually guy code for ‘I think you’re attractive and I could see myself sleeping with you’,” Changmin shrugs, tearing off a piece of Kevin’s donut. “But I also see where you’re coming from. You did just meet each other. He could’ve just been trying to console you in a way.”

“Why am I even friends with men when they’re useless?” You throw your head back, speaking to no one in particular.

Perhaps Kevin truly was overthinking the situation. Juyeon seemed to be a kind person who probably didn’t want any problems with his neighbors. It made sense why he’d side with you after witnessing your break up. Besides, the wounds were still too fresh to even consider thinking of anyone else in such a way. No matter how hot they may be…

You’d just have to wait and see for yourself. Only time could tell what would become of the nature of your relationship with your cute new neighbor.

You look insane with everything in your cart, filled to the brim with baking ingredients. It was around 10 PM and here you were, at the grocery store buying the things needed to make cinnamon rolls. Being a baker with a bit of a sweet tooth meant your cravings got a little out of hand at times, forcing you to make drastic decisions. (I.E. grocery shopping so late at night.)

Even your clothing choice was silly: flimsy pajama shorts with Care Bears patterned on them, a baggy t-shirt, and matching slippers. It’s not like anyone cared anyway. And it wasn’t like you were trying to impress anybody either.

But as you’re walking towards the registers, you start to regret your outfit. You very quickly spot your neighbor with a basket on his arm, waiting in line for self-checkout. You feel all the color drain from your face as you stand there, staring like an absolute idiot.

He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants, a hoodie swallowing his figure. He looks so effortlessly good, it kind of makes you upset. Because how are you just now meeting a guy who’s both kind and attractive? As far as you were concerned, they didn’t exist in real life— they only existed in fairytales.

Juyeon looks up from his phone and catches your eye, his hand coming up to give you a little wave and one of those crinkly eye smiles that he does when you pass each other in the hall.

As the weeks have passed, you’ve seen him more and more than you deemed normal. You’d bump into each other on the way to or from picking up your mail, you’d hold the elevator for the other in record time, and you’d even leave your apartments at the same time. Now it appears you’re running into the guy at the supermarket, too. You tried to chalk it all up to coincidence, that you just both happened to be thinking on the same wavelength.

But shyly waving back to him right now reminds you that divine intervention had crazy ways of working its magic. Perhaps those had all just been openings for you to engage in something more with your cute neighbor. And there was only one way to find out.

You psych yourself up as you walk towards him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Juyeon’s smile grows wider as he notices you approaching. “Hey, stranger. What are you up to tonight?”

“Some late baking,” you giggle, wanting to punch yourself in the face for sounding like a goddamn school girl. “I was actually wondering if you’d like to come over and keep me company? Totally up to you of course! I just thought it might be nice to get to know each other properly.”

Your suggestion is what leads the two of you to meet back up at your apartment after purchasing your respective groceries. You attempt to tidy up as best you can while you wait for the knock at your door, setting out all the ingredients on the counter and preheating your oven.

The soft knock comes moments later and you find yourself practically running to open the door, grinning at the sheepish expression on Juyeon’s face. You allow him inside of your apartment, trailing after him into the kitchen. Part of you felt like you were moving on too fast after Daehyun. As a baker, your kitchen was your safe space. It was where you went when you needed to be alone and in the comfort of what you knew best. Kevin and Changmin were the only ones you trusted to be within that element. For you to let Juyeon in— to let him permeate the walls you’ve never let down before, not even with your ex— was brand new territory.

“I almost forgot you own a bakery,” Juyeon speaks up, fingers tracing along the stand mixer. “But seeing all this expensive equipment reminded me of that. It only makes sense that someone as sweet as you would constantly be around sweet treats.”

You fail to bite back your smile. Maybe this was for the better. Maybe it was okay to let your guard down every once in a while, so long as it was always for your flirty neighbor. He laughs when you nudge his shoulder, grabbing all the dry ingredients for the dough.

“On a scale of one to ten, how patient are you?” You ask, avoiding his eyes as you open the flour. The question was in regards to several things.

“I’d say about an eight or nine. Patience is a virtue, you know. It comes easily if you practice hard enough.” He answers, leaning against the counter and watching you.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, searching for your measuring cups. Both you and Juyeon begin to measure out the dry ingredients, dumping them into the mixing bowl. You decide to let him take some of the reins, folding in the mixture of milk, egg, butter, and yeast. While he does that, you prepare the cinnamon sugar.

“I think I’m done. What do I do next?” He turns to you, head cocked to the side slightly. You might actually die of cuteness aggression. The duality of man would one day drive you to the brink of insanity.

“Now you just knead it until it’s smooth.” Your back is to him as you say this, putting away any refrigerated items so they don’t go bad. But as you face him again, you wish you hadn’t.

Your eyes zero in on his hands, kneading the dough with careful, nimble fingers. You feel light-headed as you slip into a spell, gawking at how long and slender they are, massaging the dough like an expert. How had you never noticed how big and pretty his hands were?

Maybe baking with Juyeon was a bad idea. You could barely focus on anything but his fingers pressing the under-construction-cinnamon rolls into the counter. Oh how badly you wanted to be that dough— his hands all over you, groping and massaging and kneading and caressing everywhere they could reach.

The veins running up his arms weren’t helping either, instead fueling the fire burning in the pit of your stomach. You feel your lips part, eyes glossed over with that all too familiar lustful intensity. You wouldn’t be surprised if you had to wipe away drool after this.

“Y/N?” Juyeon glances up from the dough, a little taken aback by your reverie. He follows your line of sight, grinning to himself smugly when he realizes what has you so transfixed. He’s finally found your weakness, and he couldn’t wait to dangle it over your head. Patience was a virtue, but perhaps it would be okay for him to dabble with a vice for once.

He pushes out the dough, using his thumbs to spread it into a rectangular shape. He feels his blood pressure rising the darker your eyes get. However, he’s aware that you just recently got out of a relationship. He wants to move at a pace you’re comfortable with. So he won’t take the first step. He has to leave that up to you.

It’s at a certain point that you come to, blinking to force away the dirty thoughts plaguing your mind. You travel your field of vision to his face, where you find him already looking at you. Your cheeks heat up in mortification from being caught red-handed. You were just gawking at the poor guy’s like they were a piece of fresh meat. This was terrible.

You swallow thickly, averting eye contact to grab the bowl of cinnamon sugar. “Uh, we can start forming the rolls now so they can rise. And then— um— and then we can make the glaze.”

The burn of his gaze on your profile has you tripping over your words, cinnamon sugar sprinkling onto the counter space surrounding and the knife almost slipping from your grip when you go to cut the dough. Juyeon catches it for you, wrapping his fingers around yours to guide your movements and keep them steady.

You feel his breath behind your ear, his chest pressed to your back. His hand is so much larger than your own, nearly covering it entirely. He doesn’t make an effort to move either, rolling the dough into swirl shapes along with you. The whole time this is happening, neither of you are saying a word, letting the silence consume you and the air around you.

As the rolls are rising/baking, you set up everything necessary for making the icing. Juyeon watches with hearts in his eyes as you whisk the sugar, cream cheese, vanilla, and butter in a separate bowl. He wonders how many other people you let see you in this setting. How many people get to see you do the thing you love so dearly?

“I’d like to visit your bakery sometime, if you wouldn’t mind,” Juyeon suddenly says, resting his elbows on the counter as you taste test the icing. “I wanna try all of the desserts you bake.”

“I’m opening later tomorrow morning actually,” you smile, humming in appreciation when the sweetness of the glaze hits your taste buds. “You can come with me to try the fresh batches before I put them out? I’ll warn you though, I get there at like six.”

“AM?” His eyes practically pop out of their sockets.

“Yes, AM.” You laugh, lightly shoving him backwards.

“I’ll put like ten alarms so I can make sure I’m up in time, then.” He pokes his cheek with his tongue, tipping his head to the side. The goofy smile on your face remains even after minutes have passed and the two of you are just waiting for the cinnamon rolls to finish baking.

It feels like hours have gone by with the two of you standing there when they’re finally ready. The ding of the oven has you springing into action, putting on some oven mitts and taking out the baking sheet. Juyeon's eyes light up and even though you’d just been losing your mind over how insane he was making you, you find yourself cooing at him.

He laughs as you grab a couple spare icing bags for the cinnamon roll glaze, filling them generously. You hand one over to him and decide to split the rolls evenly, icing one half yourself while he does the other. And for once, you think that tonight might end normally. You think that nothing eventful will happen and you’ll just ice the cinnamon rolls without problems.

But you were wrong, like always.

“Ah, shit—”

You glance up from the roll you were glazing to see what the fuss was about. Juyeon’s icing bag tore somehow, the sticky topping getting all over his hand. Truly, you were no better than a man, with the filthy thoughts inhabiting your brain almost instantaneously.

He brings his hand up to his mouth, licking the glaze off the back of his hand and wrapping his lips around his thumb. You felt dizzy, drunk on the sight of your extremely attractive neighbor doing something so sensual without even trying to. You bite your lip, accidentally dropping your own icing bag due to lack of attention.

Juyeon smirks slightly, relishing in the way it takes absolutely nothing to hypnotize you with his hands alone. He really tried to keep himself contained. He really wanted you to extend the first olive branch, but he knows you’re apprehensive. So just this once, he tells himself that it’s okay to initiate, to give you a little push in the right direction.

He takes a step closer to you, caging you against the counter. You stare up at him with wide, doe eyes, as if you were completely innocent despite the naughty images flashing behind them. Juyeon brings his thumb up to your lips, the pad of it still covered in icing.

“Think you could clean this up for me?” He asks, voice low and husky. You could actually combust with that all on its own.

Just like your formal introduction, you don’t give yourself the time to think, and act, instead, running your tongue along the length of his thumb. Juyeon doesn’t restrain the groan in the back of his throat, holding your face in his hands and pulling you in for a kiss.

You reciprocate immediately, fisting his hoodie like it was the only thing capable of stabilizing you. Maybe it was, with the way Juyeon’s lips synchronized with yours and his fingers tangled in your hair. You thought the ground would swallow you whole and wake you up from this dream. On what planet did someone like Lee Juyeon like a girl like you?

His hands slide down your body, groping everything in their path desperately before cupping under your thighs and lifting you onto the counter. He knocks the baking sheet of cinnamon rolls out of the way, palms rubbing up and down the sides of your legs. You want more, so much more, but you’re afraid to ask. You’re afraid to start something you’re not even sure you can emotionally handle.

Juyeon senses your hesitation, detaching from you momentarily. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want. I understand if you still need time.”

“N-No, I want this— I want you— I'm just… scared.” You breathe, your forehead using his shoulder for support.

“I'm not him, Y/N. I can give you the world if you’d let me. I’d never do what he did to you, that’s a promise.” He holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing the crown of your head.

“Okay,” you nod, smiling up at him. “I trust you, Juyeon.”

You reconnect your lips as his fingers slip beneath your pajama shorts, toying with the waistband of your panties. His lips curl up when he feels you squirm, legs parting to make more room for him in the middle of them. You sigh, body shuddering when he drags his knuckle down your clothed slit.

Juyeon hooks his fingers into your shorts and underwear, hauling them down your legs. You place your hands behind you to brace yourself, a shiver trailing your spine when the cool air of your apartment hits your warm core. He groans again at the sight of you bare for him, using two fingers to spread your lower lips.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he swears, his thumb slowly circling your clit.

You whine, tossing your head back as he applies more pressure. Bit by bit, you begin to lose yourself to the pleasure of Juyeon’s gorgeous hands. Soon the stimulation on your clit amplifies when he adds another finger, thrusting it in and out of your entrance. He curls deep inside of you, like he was reaching for something he’d left.

One finger turns to two, and before you know it, Juyeon’s openly finger fucking you on the counter. He leans over your body to keep your lips together, kissing you sloppily while all his focus is on drawing you to the edge. You can almost taste it, your saccharine release in your field of vision now.

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly he was able to wind you up and trip you over the edge, but you feel too euphoric to care. You pause in your kiss to look down at his handy work. (No pun intended.) It makes your head feel foggy and your vision blurry to see his deft fingers fucking you open, veins bulging, like he’d done this many times before. Your hooded eyes follow them up his forearms, a whine escaping your lips.

A particular curl of his fingers and circle of his thumb have you clenching around him, creaming like you’d never had an orgasm in your life. He doesn’t slow his assault, bringing you down just to put you back up on that summit once again. The overstimulation has you cumming a second time in a matter of what felt like seconds, whimpers becoming voluminous moans.

Juyeon kisses you softly, gently pulling out his fingers to lick them clean like he did with the cinnamon roll glaze. A choked groan bubbles past your mouth, tossing an arm over your eyes. He laughs, towing you to the edge of the counter.

He brushes some stray hairs out of your face, moving your arm to smile dopily at you. “I hope you know I was being serious about the whole treating you better thing. If you’ll give me the chance.”

“I know. I told you I trust you, remember?” You nip at the inside of your cheek. His eyes crinkle up like they tend to do when he’s smiling so genuinely. It forces the wind out of you, because how could you ever get used to a sight so stunning?

“You’re so cute.” He laughs, kissing all around your face and smushing your cheeks together.

“Juyeon,” you mumble. “I’m half naked…”

“Even better,” he grins, pecking the tip of your nose. “Makes it that much easier to do all of the other things I wanna do to you.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD: Season 7: Don’t You Ever Do That Again, You Hear Me? (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

A/N: There are mentions of B1ack Liv3s M4tter (apparently this ended up in that tag, so I changed the wording, so hopefully it’s not there anymore) in regards to peaceful protests in this. And there are mentions of counter-protesters causing riots. I tried my best to portray this as professionally as possible with Y/N's views, Kevin's views, and Jay's views. I did not try to offend anyone at all and I'm very sorry if I did.

Also, I don't know if one part counts as threat of sexual coercion, but I'm fairly certain that's what it's called, so trigger warning for that.

Your age: 18

Jay's age: 32

Will's age: 34

"I get that it's important to you, but I'm not letting you go!" Jay argued as you stood across from him in a screaming match.

"Why? Because You don't believe the same things as me because you haven't met a bad cop? Because you fought for this country and know people who died for it?" you yelled back.

"Yes, me being a cop and a soldier obviously has something to do with this! But I'm also trying to keep you safe! They turn into riots!"

"You do know that's not the Black Lives Matter protesters who start them, right? They're peaceful. Counter-protesting assholes come and start things to give peaceful protesters a bad image!"

"I don't want you to get hurt if something happens! Tear gas hurts, kid. I don't want you to come home with burning eyes and the possibility of going blind and tell me I'm right. I'm trying to prevent that!"

"I know you are, Jay! I just want you to let me have my own damn opinions and do what I want for once!"

"Has a cop ever hurt you in some way? Pulled you over illegally?" Jay roared.

You wanted to tell him your story about something like that that had happened five weeks ago, two weeks after the infection scare across the entire city, but you couldn't because you knew he'd do something stupid and you didn't want that. "No, but--"

His phone rang, cutting you off. "I'll be there," Jay said quickly. Then, he turned back to you. "I gotta go, caught a case. I'll see you later and we can talk about this. Calmly."

"So, you're saying there's a chance you'll let me go?"

"There's maybe a .001% chance, but sure, believe what you want."

You rolled your eyes and he left. But, as he shut and locked the apartment door, he stopped. "Love you," he whispered. Because, with what he did on the job, he knew that there was the possibility every day of him not coming home to you.

***

When you woke up, you were shocked not to see a text from Jay between 3 and 5 am saying that he wouldn't make it home tonight. He usually made it a priority when on a case to tell you that he wouldn't be coming home so that you wouldn't worry.

But, there was a voicemail from him around 11 pm last night and it was currently 9 am.

You put your phone on speaker and played it.

"Hey, Y/N, I'm sorry about arguing. If you really want to go, I think Kevin has his RDO tomorrow so I can see if he's going if you-- OW!" Then, the line just continued playing, and dragging noises were heard until there was a crash and the line went dead.

"Jay? Jay?" What the hell had happened? You quickly replayed the message to make sure it wasn't an issue with your phone, but when you heard the same exact thing again, you knew something had gone terribly wrong.

You went to dial Hailey's number to ask if she had seen Jay when there was a loud knock on your door. You quickly ran across the apartment and looked out the peephole. You saw Hailey and Adam and quickly flung open the door.

"Hey, Y/N," Adam said as he entered.

"Have you guys seen Jay?" you asked.

You saw Hailey visibly swallow. "Listen," she started, but you cut her off.

"What happened? What's going on? He usually texts me if he's going to be working until the morning and I didn't get a text and I got a voicemail and--" You took a deep, gasping breath.

"What voicemail?" Hailey asked as she placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I- It cut off partway through and he yelled and-- wait, he wasn't with you?"

"No," Hailey answered. "He said he had some personal stuff to take care of when we were at a scene and then took off. Then, he never came back, so we decided to check here to see if he just came home or something happened."

"He never came home." Your eyes widened, finally processing what it meant if he wasn't here and Intelligence couldn't find him. "You're telling me he's missing? Again? Oh, no. This can't be happening, not again. Not after our fight last night. I didn't even tell him what happened or that I loved him or--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath," Hailey told you and you tried to match her breathing. "His radio might just be dead or something like that." She knew that she was lying, but she was trying to stop you from freaking out. "Can you give me your phone so Adam and I can listen to the voicemail?"

You nodded and handed Adam your phone. He pressed play and you watched as his jaw clenched as he was listening to it.

"Shit," he muttered once he was done. "We need you to come to the district with us. Just for safety."

"Can you give me a minute?" you asked. "I- I'm in my pajamas and I haven't brushed my teeth and--"

"We'll leave in half an hour, okay?" Hailey asked and you nodded. "While you're getting ready, we'll send the voicemail over to Kim and Kev. Jay's gonna be okay."

"How do you know that?" you almost whispered.

"Because Jay's one of the strongest people I know," she answered. But, in reality, she wasn't sure about that. They had no idea where he was and according to the timestamp on that voicemail, it had been a little over ten hours since he sent it. For all they knew, Jay could be out of Chicago right now. Scratch that, he could be out of Illinois.

***

"When did you get this voicemail?" Hank asked as everyone in Intelligence, minus Jay but including you, were in the bullpen and trying to trace where the call came from.

"Around 11 last night, Boss," Adam answered for you.

"Okay. So it's been almost 11 hours," Voight said.

"I need a break, excuse me," you said and quickly excused yourself to the locker room.

You made your way to the locker room and sat down and leaned against the wall. This couldn't be happening again, not after that crazy borderline sociopathic drug dealer kidnapped Jay a few years ago and Erin went in and saved him. This could not be happening again.

You thought back to the fight last night and something your mom would always say when she was in a fight with one of the boys or when you had thrown a temper tantrum and then had to go to bed.

I'll always tell you I love you because when you walk out that door or go to bed, I'll never know if that was the last chance I had to tell you I love you.

God, if you hadn't argued with Jay, maybe you wouldn't be feeling this way. Obviously, you'd be feeling scared and upset because Jay was missing and no one had any idea where he was, but at least you wouldn't feel guilty like you currently did.

You felt guilty about starting that fight in the first place by bringing it up even though you knew what his answer was going to be. You felt guilty about yelling. But most of all, you felt guilty and you regretted not saying love you when he left...because that might've been the last time you'd have been able to tell that to your big brother who had always been there for you...even when he really didn't want to.

Jay's Nokia flip phone buzzed as he walked out of school. It was his mom.

"Hey, Mom," he greeted.

"Jay Halstead, if you answered your phone while you're driving..." she trailed off, trying to think of a good threat.

"Mom, I didn't. I was talking to some friends about going for tacos tonight, so I just walked out of school a minute ago."

"Oh," she said.

"What oh?" Jay asked. "That sounded like a bad oh, Mom."

"Well, I wish I would've known that before a professor called in sick to give an exam to his students and I agreed to pick up the extra hours."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't bring Y/N to the dentist. And I thought since you weren't busy, you could. I also may or not have promised her that she could go to Build-A-Bear after to get a new outfit for Beary because she's so scared."

"Mom," Jay groaned.

"I know, I'm sorry. But, how about this: you do this for me, and I'll extend your curfew by two hours on Friday and Saturday."

"Three," Jay countered.

"Two." Amelia Halstead stood strong.

"Three."

"Two and a half."

"Deal," Jay agreed.

"Thank you. I'll see you tonight. Love you."

"Love you, too."

***

"No," you whined as Jay told you that you had to leave after he walked you home from school later. "I don't wanna go to the dentist. They scary."

"No, they're not," Jay told you. The doctor was what was scary for him with all the needles for the shots. But, the dentist had never bothered him, even when he was a little kid it had never bothered him.

"No!"

"What if I let you bring Beary into the dentist, would you go then?" Jay practically pleaded.

"And you give me chocolate before we leave?"

"If you promise to grab your toothbrush and brush your teeth in the bathroom at the dentist, then yes, I'll give you some chocolate to eat on the way there." Jay was desperate at this point. He knew he shouldn't be giving you everything you wanted, but what were big brothers with a giant age gap for anyway if not to try and spoil his little sister?

"Okay!" You ran off to go grab Beary and your toothbrush and toothpaste while Jay made his way to a high cabinet in the kitchen and grabbed five squares of Dove milk chocolate, three for you and two for him.

In the car, Jay handed you the cholates and you started eating them while you held Beary close to you, trying to gain some comfort out of your favorite stuffed animal.

***

You gripped Jay's hand as you sat and waited for your name to be called. Beary was held in your other hand and you were squeezing him tight against your chest. You had just brushed your teeth like you promised Jay that you would, but you were still utterly terrified.

"Y/N Halstead?" a dental hygienist came out and asked.

You didn't say a word, just held Jay's hand tighter.

"That's you," Jay said gently and with a smile on his face, trying to make you feel less scared.

"No, not me," you told him as you frantically shook your head.

The dental hygienist squatted down in front of you. "Are you Y/N?" You didn't do anything, but Jay must've nodded to confirm that it was indeed you. "And who's this?" she asked as she shook Beary's paw.

"Beary," you said shyly.

"Well, I'm fairly certain that Beary will be with you the entire time. We even have little sunglasses you and he can wear when we shine the really bright light on you to protect both your little eyes. Does that sound good?"

You turned to Jay. "Me and Beary get sunglasses, Jay Jay!"

"I heard! Do you want me to come back with you?"

You thought for a second. "Please come."

Jay laughed. "Okay." He turned to the dental hygienist. "Is that okay?"

"Perfectly fine."

You stood up and held Jay's hand as you walked back into the dentist to get your six-month check-up on your baby teeth.

***

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Jay asked as the two of you walked out to his car after you finished.

"No!" you said as you shook your head. "I even got a pretty bracelet with Belle on it, see?" you exclaimed as you held your hand out to him to show off your yellow bracelet with a charm that had Belle from Beauty and the Beast on it.

Jay acted all surprised and said it was pretty even though he watched as you had picked it out while he had explained to the secretary how your mom would call to schedule your next appointment in six months.

Jay opened his car and made sure you were buckled in and then got in himself and started driving.

"Do you know where we're going?"

You gasped. You had forgotten you got to go to Build-A-Bear after!

"Build-A-Bear!" you yelled. The volume of that yell would've made Jay wince had he not been driving.

"Yup, that's where we're going."

"I think I'm gonna get Beary some new pajamas," you decided.

"What color?"

You held Beary out in front of you. "What color pjs do you want, Beary?" You brought him up to your ear and nodded as he "told" you what color pajamas he wants. "He said blue!"

"Blue pajamas. I'm pretty sure we can find those."

***

Jay and you walked into Build-A-Bear Workshop at the mall and you were met with children running around. To Jay, this was the definition of hell. Except for you, he was fine with you running around, but he really didn't like all the other kids that he had to be careful not to bump into.

"C'mon, Jay Jay!" you told him as you tugged him along to the pajama section.

He allowed himself to be tugged along by you and then you held up almost every single pair of blue pajamas to Beary to see which one was his favorite. He had decided on a pair of light blue pajamas with stars all over them. There was even a cute little hat with a pom-pom on top to go with the pajamas.

Jay paid and then you left with Beary and his brand-new pajamas. You had plans to have him sleep in those pajamas tonight, too.

Unbeknownst to you, Jay hadn't even really wanted to come. The only reason he brought you was that he got his curfew extended. But to you, it was just another fun afternoon with your big brother.

You were startled out of your daydream when you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

Kevin.

"It's fine. I'm fine," you said quickly.

"No, you're not. And that's okay. Hailey and Voight went to see if Jay's where his phone pinged at."

"We fought," you told him.

"You fought?" Kevin asked as he slid down the wall to sit next to you.

"It was stupid. I should've just agreed with him and maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this."

"Like what?"

"Like utter shit." You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. "We were arguing about the BLM protests that were happening tonight. I wanted to go, but he wouldn't let me. The last thing I did was roll my eyes at him, Kev."

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments while Kevin figured out how to comfort you.

"Maybe talking about it will help. What'd you argue about?"

"Just that I wanted to go and he wouldn't let me because he thinks riots will break out. And you and I both know that's not the BLM protesters, that's the counter-protesters. But, he thinks I'll get hurt. I also think it's because he's a cop, so he feels like I'm protesting him, but I'm not. I'm protesting the system."

Kevin nodded. "I get it. Believe me, I do. I live it every day."

"How do you do it?" you asked. "Be an activist and a cop at the same time?"

"Just try and do the right thing with the information you have. And, explain that you're protesting the system and the bad apples, not the police force as a whole."

"I tried. But Jay doesn't think I have a right to protest because I've never had a bad experience with a cop." Which was a lie, but you weren't ready to talk about that just yet.

"Did he say that exactly?" Kevin asked.

"No, but, he asked me if a cop has ever illegally pulled me over."

Kevin nodded. "I know Jay and I know he would never say that you didn't have the right protest. He fought for that right. He mention anything else?"

"That tear gas hurts."

"I think he just wanted to keep you safe, same thing I'd do for Jordan and Vanessa."

"He sounded like he changed his mind on his voicemail, though. He thought that maybe if you were going, then he'd let me go...at least, that's what it sounded like."

Kevin nodded. "All I can say is that until we found Jay, I'm not going to one. Getting your brother is my first priority and it's the first priority of everyone in this unit."

"My first priority, too."

"Kev!" Adam yelled as he banged on the door. "You in there?"

"Yeah, bro! What's up?" Kevin asked.

"We need you to meet with someone!"

***

The hours passed and with each of them that did, you got more and more nervous for Jay's safety. You guessed that this is how he felt when you asked if you could go to the protest, knowing that he'd constantly be worrying about you until you came home safely.

"Y/N, we gotta go," Trudy said as she entered the bullpen around 9:30 pm that night.

"Why? What's going on?" you asked as you grabbed your phone and started following her.

"They found Jay."

"Is he okay?" you asked quickly.

"Y/N..."

"No! He can't be dead, Trudy! He can't!" you wailed.

"He's not. But, he has been shot."

You froze. Shot. Jay had been shot.

"He's en route to Chicago Med right now."

"Can you- can you bring me there?"

"That's where we're going right now."

***

"Will!" you yelled as you ran into the ED and saw your oldest brother.

You ran right up to him and hugged him, not caring that he almost dropped his iPad he had been using to chart.

"Whoa, Y/N." He set the iPad down. "Hey, I know. But Crockett's operating on him right now and he's one of the best surgeons in the hospital."

"I thought you were better than him. You need to do the surgery, Will. you need to save Jay!"

"Y/N, I know it sucks, but I'm family. As much as I want to operate on him, I can't legally do that."

You paused and looked up at him. His eyes were slightly red, but he hadn't been bawling the way that you had been.

"Dr. Halstead! Incoming!" Maggie yelled.

"What does she mean?" you asked, still hanging onto him. "You're still working?"

"There's been a ten-car pile-up on the highway. I have to. It's my job."

"But Jay's in surgery!" you yelled as you pulled away from him. "These people are more important to you than your own brother?"

"They aren't but--"

"But you're working anyway instead of waiting to find out what happens to him?"

"I can't do anything to help Jay right now. But I can help all these people who are pouring in."

"Dr. Halstead!" Maggie shouted again.

"I'll be up in a few hours, I promise," Will told you.

***

A few hours had passed and it was now past midnight. Jay was still in surgery. Will was sitting next to you, in a spare pair of clothes he had packed instead of his scrubs that were covered in blood, and you were leaning your head on his shoulder, close to being asleep.

That was until Crockett came out and Will jumped up, causing your head to hit the back of the chair.

"Ow," you mumbled.

"Sorry," Will apologized and then turned back to Crockett. "What's the verdict?"

"He lost a lot of blood," Crockett told the two of you.

"But he's gonna pull through, right?" Will asked what the two of you were both thinking.

"We'll be out of blood soon."

"What do you mean out of blood?" Will asked, taking a step toward the surgeon. "There's no way you can be out of blood!"

"With that pile-up, we can. I'd recommend you go and say your goodbyes and pray for a miracle."

Will put his hands on the back of his head and started pacing the room. Your breath caught in your throat. This could not be happening. Jay couldn't die, he just couldn't.

Crockett started to walk back towards the operating room.

"Wait!" you yelled. You didn't know what had taken over you, but at this moment, you'd do anything to save your brother. You rolled up your sleeve. "Take my blood."

"Y/N," was all Will could manage to get out.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but there's protocol for that. I'd love to let you do it, but--"

"Fuck protocol!" you yelled, all the anger and sadness and anxiety that had built up over the past fifteen hours exploding at this very moment. "Rush my labs. Or don't even get my labs done at all. I haven't had sex, so I don't have any STDs. I don't have any diseases or deficiencies since I moved in with Jay years ago. My blood type's O-neg, so I'm a universal donor. Take my goddamn blood, Crockett!" You didn't care that all that information was out in the open because you were barely processing what you were saying. The only thing you cared about was making sure that your brother was okay.

"Y/N," Will said as he walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Don't touch me! And you sure as hell don't want to tell me to calm down!"

"Y/N," Will started again as he took his hand off your shoulder. "What Crockett's saying is that it's not ethical for him to do this. He could get fired."

"Where's the paperwork?" you asked as you turned back to Crockett. "I'll sign whatever I have to sign to make sure you aren't liable at all, that I'm donating this of my own free will. You can even take double the amount of blood that you normally do since I'm a universal donor. Just get me the paperwork."

Crockett and Will shared a look.

"I'll go get a nurse to get you the paperwork."

"Wait, no, no, no," Will said as he walked closer to Crockett. "You can't be serious about this!"

"She said she'll sign it."

"But, I have to co-sign it since she's a minor. So, no, you are not donating blood, Y/N. You almost passed out when I drew vials of your blood years ago. You know what's gonna happen if we take two units of blood? You are gonna feel like utter shit."

"Last I checked, I'm 18, so I can sign my own paperwork! God, I'm not a fucking child anymore, Will! I can make my own decisions!" you yelled back. "And if I don't do this, Jay will die. He'll die, Will. So, I'm giving him my blood with or without your support."

***

You sat in a chair, the ones that Will had told you about years ago with the big padded bar thing that came down in front of you in case you passed out. Typically, they'd just have you lay down in a bed, but since they were short on beds and Will told them that you had a history of getting dizzy and nauseous during simple blood draws, they had decided to put you here instead.

"Last chance to back out," Will told you as the nurse tied off your arm with a blue rubber tie and started to rub your arm to get the big vein in your left forearm to show.

"Jay's dying. No way in hell am I backing out."

Will sighed. He knew you were doing the right thing, but he also knew that you were going to feel terrible after, and he hated seeing you like that. "Okay," he said. "I'll stay here until they get the needle in you and then I'll get you some juice and cookies."

"Ready?" Monique asked.

"Ready," you confirmed. You turned to Will and squeezed your eyes shut as the needle pierced your vein. You heard the sound of the machine and knew your blood was going in there, but you didn't want to look. Getting your blood drawn, you could watch. But this, this was just too much blood to see, so you looked at Will.

"Doing okay?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah," you answered because that was the absolute truth: you were feeling just fine.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get you some cookies and juice. I'll get an update on Jay while I'm out there, too."

You nodded and he left the room.

This wasn't so bad.

***

Okay, so you were lying to yourself. You were currently in hell. Giving the blood hadn't been an issue, it was how you felt after you were done giving blood.

You were currently sitting in that same chair, drinking some juice that Will had brought you. He told you that there was still no update on Jay, but that they were sending the blood back to him right now. (They had rushed labs on a small vial of blood that Monique took before you started the donation. The results came back while you were giving blood, and since your blood was clean, you could give it to Jay.) But, God, but you felt absolutely awful.

"You doing okay?" Will asked.

You shook your head and then stopped because it made you dizzy and put your head in your hands. "No," you groaned.

He handed you a glass of water. "Drink a bit of this too and then I'll open your pack of cookies."

"Why do you want me to drink water and not juice?" you asked as you closed your eyes and tried to stop the spinning in your head.

"Because, you're sweating, Short Stack. Need you to stay hydrated."

You took a few sips of water and then went back to your juice. Will handed you your pack of chocolate chip cookies and you started to eat them.

"Mhm," you groaned and laid your head down on the padded bar thing in front of you that kept you from falling out of the chair. "I don't feel so good."

You felt hot and cold at the same time and the world seemed to spin every time you lifted your head up. And, those cookies did not sit well with you.

"How do you feel? What hurts?" Will asked, jumping into doctor mode since Monique wasn't around. Will assured her that he could look after you while you recovered from your blood being donated at twice the normal amount.

"I just feel like shit," you told him, not picking up your head.

"You gotta give me some symptoms. Give me some symptoms and then I can help."

"Mhm, fine." You looked up at him and blinked slowly. "I feel hot and cold and sweaty. And I feel dizzy and nauseous."

"Okay. That's either a vasovagal reaction or from your blood pressure being low or from your  heart rate being slowed down."

"What's that reaction thingy?"

"You don't like blood in general, so a nervous system response can happen, which could explain your reactions. But, your BP could also be low, which could explain all this too. And, it's one in the morning and you haven't slept yet, so tiredness could also be a factor."

"Great," you said sarcastically as you remembered the last time your blood pressure was low.

You had taken some of Jay's medication that he had to ward off his PTSD-induced nightmares after you were involved in a shooting at a house party. The one time you took them without sleeping directly after, you felt almost exactly like this...except without the sweatiness. You just mostly felt dizzy. You had called Will, he came over, and then you ended passing out and he had to get you to Med. Then you were admitted and they got your pressure back up. You were also prescribed sleeping pills which had helped immensely.

Will grabbed a blood pressure cuff from a drawer. "Arm," he told you. You held out your arm and he wrapped the cuff around it and pumped the end of it.

You waited as he looked at the gauge on the blood pressure cuff. Will said one number over another number, which meant nothing to you, but must've meant something to him. You raised your eyebrows, hoping he was going to tell you what those numbers meant in non-medical English terms.

"BP's low, which explains most of the symptoms," he told you.

You took another bite of your cookie and washed it down with some juice, but then immediately after started dry heaving.

Will rushed around and then thrust a pink basin under your mouth.

You took a deep breath after you finally stopped dry heaving about thirty seconds later.

"Better?" Will asked. You shook your head. "I'm going to get you an IV of anti-nausea medication."

You were going to argue with him about how he wasn't working, so he probably couldn't get you that. And, you were fairly certain he couldn't prescribe things to family. But, you felt terrible, so you really don't care if Will was being reckless and borderline unethical/illegal right now.

You nodded and then laid your head back down.

When Will came back, he thought you were asleep, but when you heard footsteps, you looked up.

"Alright," he began as he assembled the IV. "Last poke of the day, I promise."

"After this can I take a nap in the on-call room?" you asked as you held your arm out to him once again.

"You know I can't let you do that." Will tied a blue band around your arm and started rubbing it to get a vein in the inside of your elbow. Then, he noticed your pale and sweaty face. "Fine. Hopefully, Goodwin won't fire me after this. But I have a good reason. Turn so you don't see the needle."

You did and closed your eyes. You felt the poke and squeezed your eyes shut, but then it subsided and you felt that weird feeling of the medicine going straight into your veins. God, you hoped this worked.

You hoped Jay would survive because you didn't just go through all that for nothing.

***

You slowly opened your eyes as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. "No," you groaned as you turned to face the other side of the bed.

But then you remembered where you were: the doctors on-call room because Jay had been shot. Maybe it was Will waking you up to tell you--

"Short Stack, wake up. Jay's awake."

That got you wide awake.

You snapped your eyes open, rolled over, and jumped out of bed.

"I take it you're feeling better?" Will asked.

"Sleep helps. Let's go!"

Will quickly led you out of the room and through some hallways and up a few flights of stairs to Jay's recovery room.

He was currently talking to Hailey.

"Jay!" you exclaimed as you burst into the room to see him with a sling and see Hailey helping him with his jacket.

"Hey, Short Stack," he greeted and then turned his attention back to Hailey. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Uh, just that I'm glad you're back," she told him. "I'll give you some time with your siblings." She turned her attention to Will. "Oh, and the things you told me to tell Kim to get are in that corner." She pointed to the left front corner of the room. "Bye, guys." She waved and then left.

You gave Jay a huge hug and tried to avoid his arm that was in a sling. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" you told him seriously and then looked up at him with tears in your eyes.

Jay chuckled. "I'll try not to."

"You better do more than try." You went back to leaning your head against his chest as tears soaked his t-shirt.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," he soothed. "I'm okay. I'm fine, Y/N."

"I was so scared. The last thing we would've done was argue. I'm so sorry. I should never have asked to go to those protests. I know you were just trying to protect me--"

"Hey, it's okay for you to have your own opinions and views. It's just gonna take me a while to get used to you being an adult now and not that little sister who would always hold my hand and beg to go to Build-A-Bear."

"Speaking of Build-A-Bear," Will started and then walked over to the corner of the room and picked up two boxes. They were white boxes with dark blue designs on them. You knew those boxes: they were what the workers put new bears in when a kid came and bought one. You let go of Jay. Will peeked into one of the holes. "This one's for you." He handed Jay a box. "And this one's for you." He handed you the other box.

"You got us Build-A-Bears?" you asked as you raised an eyebrow.

"Just open the boxes."

You did and laughed when you saw Beary in the box, dressed in a hospital gown and white little bunny slippers. Your brothers were not kidding when they said they'd get one for you.

Jay laughed as he opened his. His Build-A-Bear was a light blue color and it also had on a hospital gown as well as a sling on one arm. The bear also had on a policeman cap. "Oh, man," Jay said as he continued laughing.

"Press the right paw," Will told him and he did, causing Ruzek's voice to float through the room.

Stop getting kidnapped. Glad you're okay, though.

You started laughing hysterically at this point.

"One more thing," Will said as he walked over to the counter and pulled out a marker and two hospital bracelets. On one he wrote Beary Halstead. "Jay, what are you naming your bear?" Will asked.

"I gotta name it?"

"Um, it's not an it. It's a he or a she...could be a they, too," you said.

"Fine. I gotta name him?"

"Yes," Will told him.

Jay groaned. "Fine. Blue."

"Boo! That's boring," you said.

He groaned again. "Detective Blue. There. Better?"

"Better," you confirmed.

Will wrote Det. Blue Halstead on the other hospital band. Then, he handed Beary's to you and Detective Blue's to Jay.

"I cannot believe you," Jay said.

"I can," Will laughed. "Now put it on him. Just like Y/N's doing with Beary."

Jay reluctantly put it on Detective Blue's arm. But then he realized something. "Wait, why does Beary have a hospital gown if Y/N wasn't in the hospital?"

"Yeah, about that..." you trailed off.

Jay cocked his head to the side. "What did you do this time?"

"Other than save your life, I got nauseous and Will had to give me anti-nausea medication," you explained.

"Wait, back up. You saved my life? How?" Jay asked as he looked between you and Will.

"She essentially cussed at Crockett until she got what she wanted," Will said nonchalantly.

"Which was...?" Jay pried.

"Giving you blood because the hospital was out because of a car accident. If she wouldn't have given you blood..." Will trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

"I'd be dead," Jay practically whispered.

"Yeah," Will confirmed, his voice at about the same volume as Jay's.

Jay felt himself getting choked up as he pulled you in for another hug. "Thank you."

"I know you'd do the same for me."

"In a heartbeat, Short Stack. In a heartbeat."

You stayed like that until Will went ahead and broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over the three of you.

"I hate to break this up, but there's something else I need to tell you guys," Will said.

You and Jay both turned to him and you let yourself out of Jay's embrace. "Which is?" you asked.

"Voight gave Jay two weeks furlough to recover and I talked Goodwin into giving me two weeks vacation--"

"How in the hell did you do that?" Jay asked.

"Let's just say I'm going to be working Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day. But that's beside the point. We have two weeks of vacation time."

"You do know I work right?" you asked.

"At a coffee shop, not at a big kid job," Will said. "And, I had Kim and Adam stop in there on their way to get the bears. They explained the situation and your work gave you two weeks off. Adam said he may have had to flash his badge, but that's beside the point."

"And you took vacation because...?" you asked.

"We need to make sure Jay relaxes and there's so many protests-turned-riots happening right now that we should probably get out of here."

"You do know it's not the peaceful protesters starting those, right? It's counter-protesters and other people who are racist bigots and people who decided they have no other choice but to be violent," you said, making your views known once again.

"I'm very much aware, Y/N. But, no matter who started it, people were running from tear gas and burning buildings last night."

"Alright, back on topic," Jay started, not wanting to have another argument like he had two days ago with you. "Where are we going?"

"I figured Wisconsin would be a good choice."

***

"It's my turn to pick the music," you whined as Will looked for another song on your long drive to Wisconsin.

"I'm the oldest, so I get control of it," Will argued.

"No, you've controlled it for the last three hours. I've had to listen to nineties hip-hop for that long. My eardrums are gonna bleed. Please make him give the aux, Jay."

"Dude, just give her the aux, and then she'll be quiet. Remember, she likes early 2000s pop-punk and 2000s stuff in general. We'll probably know most of it."

Will reluctantly handed you the aux. "Thank you. And, just to remind you two, I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift's first few albums and 5 Seconds of Summer."

You clicked play on Take What You Want by One OK Rock featuring 5 Seconds of Summer. You queued up some more songs by 5 Seconds of Summer and two by Taylor Swift, just to mess with your brothers, and then you added songs they would know like All the Small Things by Blink-182, Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low, and Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard.

By the time Dear Maria, Count Me In started playing, all three of you were jamming out, which caused Jay to forget to put his blinker on when he changed lanes...and there was a cop right there in the emergency turnaround.

Jay heard and saw the sirens behind him and slowed down. He knew the drill from pulling people over on his days on patrol. Now that he was in Intelligence, he practically just ripped the criminals out of their cars and handcuffed them against the side of their (usually stolen) car.

He got out his license and registration, along with his badge because he did have his service weapon with him. He'd be damned not bringing it with him in this day and age...and sometimes there were coyotes and he and Will didn't know if the old hunting rifle at the cabin that your grandpa used to use even had ammunition in and if there was even any ammunition at the cabin.

Jay rolled down his window as the officer walked up to him.

Your hands started to sweat and your heart started to race as you remembered your last encounter with an officer that you didn't know.

You were driving home from the library late at night after studying for a biology exam. And no, the library wasn't an excuse for going out and partying. You genuinely had gone to the library and had had a great and very focused study session for a few hours.

All of a sudden, you saw flashing lights and heard sirens. You turned down your music. You looked in your rear-view mirror and saw that the cop was right on your tail. He turned off his sirens and then turned them on and off quickly.

You were the one getting pulled over.

You pulled off to the side of the road and then rolled down your window.

"License and registration," the officer told you. He looked young, maybe a rookie.

"What's the problem officer?" you asked. Jay always told you that you had a right to know why you had been pulled over.

"You were going three miles over the speed limit, did you know that?"

"I don't recall how fast I was driving." Jay always told you never to admit to speeding because then you could fight the ticket if you ended up getting one.

"License and registration, please," he repeated.

"Reaching into my glove compartment and moving some CDs to get my registration," you narrated and then handed the registration to the officer. "Reaching over to my passenger seat to grab my purse which has my license in it...unzipping my purse...reaching in for my license." You handed him your license.

He ran your information and then came back to the window. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I have to give you a ticket."

You furrowed your eyebrows. For three miles over the speed limit? No fucking way was this happening.

"Uh," was all you could say.

"But, there is something you can do to get out of this ticket. You help me out, I help you out."

"I- I don't understand," you stuttered.

He looked down and you followed where he was looking and cupping himself with the hand that wasn't holding your license and registration.

"I- I..."

"Or I can just up this speeding ticket to going twenty miles over it. Say there was an open container in the car, too," he said.

You had no idea what to say. You couldn't risk getting your insurance upped and getting a minor in possession charge. You'd never be allowed to drive again!

But, there's no way you'd do this. You couldn't. But he was so much bigger than you that he could hold you down with one hand tied behind his back.

He placed his hand on the door handle. "You have three seconds to make your decision. One...Two..."

"My brother's Jay Halstead! Badge number 51163! His Sergeant's Hank Voight!" Your voice trembled as you yelled that and you were close to tears.

He looked back down at your license. It did say Y/N Halstead on it. He handed you back your license and registration. "Have a nice night."

Then, he walked back to his patrol car, got in, turned off the sirens, and drove off. You were so scared that you didn't even look to see what his last name or badge number was.

Once you had stayed pulled over for a good couple of minutes to make sure that the cop was nowhere in sight, you started driving again. You stopped at a drive-thru and got yourself a chocolate flurry with Oreos. Then, you sat in the parking lot with your hands still shaking and your heart still racing as you ate and started to cry. You cried for almost half an hour and waited there for another fifteen minutes so your eyes wouldn't be as puffy when you got home because you didn't want Jay asking questions.

"Y/N, you good?" Jay asked, taking you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah," you said quickly...almost too quickly. "Why?"

"Will just asked if you wanted to go back because we missed a song and you didn't answer."

"Yeah, I can do that." You quickly went back to the previous song and tried to sing with as much happiness as you did previously. But, you didn't get the image of that night or the feeling of dread out of your stomach for another hour.

***

You woke up the next morning very well-rested. The boys had taken the loft and the two twin beds that were up there and you got to take your mom and dad's old room because you were the only girl, so they said it was only fair that you got the bedroom.

You heard the dripping of water and got out of bed and then padded down the hall and to the kitchen. Jay was standing there in pajama pants and a t-shirt. (Thank God he wasn't shirtless for once in the morning. Your brothers really needed to learn how to put shirts on when they walked out of their rooms in the morning...and maybe by you telling them to put a shirt on all the time, you training them had finally paid off.) He drummed his fingers on the counter while he waited for the coffee to be done.

"Morning," you said.

He turned around. "Good morning. Shocked you're awake. It's only 8 am."

"And I'm shocked you haven't been up for two hours," you retorted.

"Oh, I've been up for an hour, just been reading upstairs. Will's not up yet, though."

"He always sleeps late when he doesn't have to work though, doesn't he?"

"Pretty much. We've made breakfast plans before and he's missed them because he was sleeping."

The timer went off on the coffee pot, alerting you that it was finished. Jay started to pour his in a tumbler. He held out a tumbler to you. You raised an eyebrow, silently wondering why he wasn't pouring it into a mug.

"I was gonna go for a morning canoe ride. You can come along if you want. Wouldn't want hot coffee spilling all over us," he told you.

"Did you bring creamer?" you asked.

"Irish cream creamer, just for you."

You reached into the fridge and grabbed the creamer.

"So, canoe ride?" Jay asked.

"Sure."

He poured coffee into a tumbler for you and then slid it to you to put your desired amount of creamer in.

***

Twenty minutes later, you were starting out in the canoe. You told Jay there was no way in hell that you'd be doing the rowing. He told you that he could only row with one arm because of his sling, so you'd have to do the other side. Skeptically, you started rowing. Jay told you that you'd be fine, just to follow his instructions.

Fifteen minutes later, when you were out in the middle of the lake, facing the forests of Wisconsin, he stopped.

"Why'd you stop?" you asked.

He picked up his tumbler of coffee off the floor of the canoe. "We need to talk."

"About what?" you asked as you picked up yours as well and held it with both hands.

"About your reaction last night when I got pulled over. You freaked. I need to know why."

"I- I didn't freak. I was just tired," you lied.

"You had quite the amount of energy right before that," he quipped.

"It's nothing."

"Y/N, I'm not letting this go. Is it because of the protests and riots and because of all the media coverage and those few bad apple cops and, I guess the system, that you're seeing that's making you nervous?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"You're not going to let this go are you?" you asked.

"I will stay in this canoe in the middle of the lake until you tell me what is going on, Y/N Halstead."

"You wouldn't."

Jay shrugged with the arm that wasn't currently in a sling. "Try me."

You sighed. "Just don't be mad that I didn't tell you sooner, okay?"

"I won't. You have my word on that."

"So, a little over a month ago I was driving home from the library..."

***

When you finished, you were in tears. "Did you get a last name? Badge number?" Jay asked as he rubbed circles on your back with his good hand.

You sniffled. "N- No. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all."

"If I wouldn't have said- said your name...He had his hand on my door handle! And he was so much bigger than me. I'm sorry!"

You turned and buried your face in his chest. "Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I should've told you right away, though! But you just had that really rough case and I didn't want to put too much on your shoulders and--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath. You need to breathe. This was not your fault. None of it was."

You calmed your breathing and just sat there, silent tears streaming down your face.

"That's why I wanted to go to the protests," you said after a few minutes. "Because I've actually had a bad experience with a cop."

"Which should've never happened in the first place."

"I was so scared," you whispered.

Jay just hugged you tighter as he thought about how strong his little sister was. You had given blood to save his life even though you knew you'd feel terrible after and you hadn't told him about this horrible cop--which he would kick this cop's ass the minute the got back to Chicago--because you didn't want him to have too much on his plate after that terrible case where he put an innocent man in jail and got him killed...which was the main reason he had been shot.

"When we get back to the cabin, I'll try and call Voight. I don't know if I'll have service, though."

"Why?" you asked.

"I'm gonna have him look up who was on their beat near you that night so he can go interrogate people on my behalf. Probably best he does it and not me." Because Jay knew that the minute he saw that cop, he wouldn't be able to hold himself back.

You nodded.

"Hey, cheer up, kid. We're here for two weeks, away from everything. Away from the city and everything that goes on there. And I can promise you that that cop will get what's coming to him, whether that be losing his job or going to jail or prison."

"Do I have to tell Will? Or can you tell him? I really don't want to talk about this again."

"I can do it," Jay answered. "Speaking of Will, if he's not up when we get back, what do we say we wake him up with some cold lake water?"

"Like dump it on him?" you asked as you widened your eyes. Jay nodded. "No, that's mean. Then he'll have to wait for his sheets to dry out and they'll smell the entire time."

"We have spare sheets and blankets in the closet."

"Fine, let's do it. But just so you know, I'm telling him that it was your idea and I also have a lock on my bedroom door here, which will make it harder for him to sneak in and dump water on me."

"I will be sleeping in your room tonight," Jay joked.

"Nope. It was your idea, so you're gonna have to live with Will's payback."

Those two weeks were filled with laughter, pranks, board games, corn hole, swimming, fishing (well, you read either in the canoe or on the dock while the boys fished), and just spending time with each other. You were glad that Will had the bright idea to take two weeks up here...even though he got drenched in cold lake water the first morning by you and Jay.

A/N: I got a request from @ La_lectrice_33 on wattpad for Y/N going to the dentist, so I hope you liked that little scene! I also got a request from an anon on here about Jay and Will's reactions to her growing up, so I put that in here, too. Thank you for over 23k reads! I won't be posting until this Sunday (August 1) when I start posting AUs for AU-gust. Please remember to like/reblog and comment because I love seeing those like/reblog notifications pop up and love reading your comments and asks! As always, if you would like to be added to my tag list, just tell me and I’ll add you! Finally, like my imagines? Buy me a coffee (only $1 through Paypal and other currencies can be used) here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Kayela

taglist:  @theambracer88  @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27  @anotherfan07  @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things  @herecomesthewriterwitch  @liampayne88

[genshin-hours]

Joseph, Mary, Luca, Kevin, and Emily w/ a quiet/shy, introverted, a lil malnourished, and sleep deprived s/o (if that makes sense) that’s always fatigued and is a very selfless ppl plzer. They take hits 4 other survivors and rescue/heal other survivors no matter wut. Hope I’m not bothering u broski

joseph, mary, and luca with a shy+selfless s/o hcs (gn reader)

before I start I do want to mention I updated my rules for the max being 3 characters per ask, but this was prior to the change, so I'll just link the emily and kevin part 2 right here when it is done!

for future reference, if anyone wants to ask for more than 3, just send in another ask! it makes it easier for me, thank you ♡

joseph

art credit

joseph thinks you're adorable. he thinks that your shyness is endearing, and he is more introverted himself, but he worries about your well being

he often worries if you're eating well and getting enough rest, and if he finds out you're not he will be even more worried

joseph is a pretty good cook, so he often will cook meals for the both of you and bring them to your room or ask you to come eat with him

he knows you sometimes just forget about eating, so he tries to gently remind you without it coming off as him babying you

with regards to your sleeping, he has made it a habit now to make you a warm drink before bed and cuddle with you.

also likes playing soft music in the background while you sleep or reading to you

loves to share book recommendations with you, and he will often read a lot of them to you before bed, though he often eases you to sleep with his soft voice, and you end up forgetting what happened in the book

joseph worries about your people pleasing habits because he is scared you might be taken advantage of for your kindness

if any of the survivors try to, they better watch out because the next time they have a match with him, peepaw is tearing it up and smacking people left and right, warning them to stop being so manipulative and selfish before they fly off into the sky with the chair

when you're against him, he always has to mask his sighs as he watches you run to rescue on half health in a desperate attempt to save your teammates

it pains him to down you after that, but he has to do his job, you know

bothers him to see you take hits for teammates and throw yourself into the path of his blade when you should've been able to get away

joseph will gently ask you to try taking care of yourself better, and while helping your teammates is important, you have to help yourself too

kisses your forehead and reminds you that you're wonderful and you deserve all the attention and care that you give people for yourself too

mary

art credit

mary worries a lot about you, but she also knows you're grown and can take care of yourself

she just is confused on why sometimes you just don't eat or sleep??

mary is a decent cook, but she isn't confident in her cooking skills entirely, so she will ask michiko to help her make meals for you

she will drop them off in your room for you and make sure you eat everything

mary also finds your shyness cute because she is extremely confident

but it definitely irks her at how much pressure you put on yourself to please everyone

she is always telling you to focus more on yourself, and she can't quite understand why you would try to make everyone happy when she knows it's impossible

in matches, mary gets frustrated when you swoop in last minute to block a hit from your teammate that causes you to be downed instead

you should've gotten away? and now she has you both down and on chairs

also, when you're on the chair she notices when you look tired, and she frowns and reminds you to get better rest. she worries for you, and again tells about getting your beauty rest

mary truthfully just doesn't want people to take advantage of you. she knows manipulative mindsets, so she can immediately tell when someone is trying to use you

the second she finds out who it was she is destroying them in matches or throwing hands with them afterwards

under no circumstances will she allow you to be thrown under the bus and used for personal gain

she thinks you're such a kind and gentle person, and she wants to protect that caring nature

mary will 100% nag you for going to rescue or heal someone in a dangerous spot when you get downed

promise her you will focus more on your well being and safety so she can relax a little please

luca

art credit

luca doesn't quite understand the people pleasing mentality, though he understands your shyness and introverted tendencies

he is the same way, and he enjoys being around someone like minded

luca will often skip meals simply because he is busy working, so he gets how it happens, but when he sees someone else doing it, he realizes it's not okay

starts to force himself to stop working and attempt to cook a meal.

he cannot cook. if he tries, something always ends up burnt

thankfully emily will usually take over and help him out so he can bring the meals to you to share

you both help eachother out with not skipping meals, and he thinks it's a win-win

luca is also guilty of not sleeping sometimes because of work or whatever he finds himself doing in the middle of the night

however, his worrying for you has caused him to end up falling asleep with you at better times while cuddling

your people pleasing habits confuse him though because he often just tries to avoid contact

people constantly judge him, and if he tried to be nice, some of them would probably try to use him

luca definitely urges you to try to focus more on yourself and your own health and well being because he worries a lot about you

you're always on his mind

during matches, expect luca to nag to you about constantly rescuing and taking hits for everyone

he just patches you up while mumbling about how you have to let the rescuers do their job

also freaks out when you get downed and chaired a lot because you were protecting someone else

though he is a hypocrite because he comes to rescue you after

loves you lots but wants you to worry more about yourself and less about sacrificing yourself for others

doesn't wanna see you hurt. you're so kind and caring, and he thinks you deserve to feel the same kindness you give to others

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-36)

Word count: 5.6K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Feels, PTSD, fluff

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​​​. Love you babe <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

“I’ve decided I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m going home.”

“Jack!” You grabbed him by his elbow just as he turned. “You can’t abandon me!”

He looked a bit terrified. “I can’t do this, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure you can. Jody is awesome and you’re so cute. I know she will like you.”

Jack did not look convinced. A tiny part of you was nervous with him. He was about to meet his girlfriend's mom for the first time. After calling Sam to tell him that you were up for the picnic, the wild optimism in his voice had you wearing out the carpet of your living room, freaking out about messing it up- for Sam and for Max. As a last resort, you had knocked on your neighbour’s door and convinced Jack to accompany you. As it turned out, Claire had been after him for a while to meet her family, and Jack being Jack was worrying the hell out of it. 

Now, you stood in front of the gate of your building, waiting for Sam to come pick you up, and not letting each other chicken out of this situation. That’s what friends did. 

“It’s not just Jody,” Jack admitted. “It’s also your husband.”

Your heart still lurched at the word. “Sam? What about him?”

Jack groaned, rolling his head. “I don’t know. You’re our Y/N… and then suddenly we find out you’re married. I really want to like him, but he’ll take you away from us.”

You were touched by his words, and the innocence in them. “No one can take me away. In fact, this is just my grand scheme to make sure that you’re stuck with me for life now. I’ve been slowly getting you hooked to the cookies. Soon there will come a day when you’ll realise you can't live without them. And then you just can’t get rid of me. It’ll be too late.”

Jack smiled at you and slung his arm around your soldier. “It’s not the cookies we’re getting addicted to, it’s you.”

A car made the swift turn and came to a stop next to the gate, right in front of you- Sam’s sleek, black Mercedes. 

Jack let out a low whistle. “I take it all back. You get back together with this guy and adopt me. Max is so much nicer than Kevin anyway. I'll share a room with him. I’ll do the dishes everyday.”

You were crying because of laughter by the time Sam opened his door and stepped out. 

“You alright?” He asked, face startled but amused.

Nodding and gasping for breath, you made the hasty introductions. Jack gave his patented customary hand raise of a greeting with palm facing forward. Sam was going for a handshake but seeing Jack’s wave, he did the same with a smile.

From the backseat, Max called out your name. Without caring about the rest, you opened the door and got in besides him, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, Y/N, aren’t you riding shotgun?” Jack asked, voice restrained to appear casual. 

“Nah, you got it. I’m going to hangout in the back with Max.”

Jack might be looking daggers at you for throwing him under the bus, but you knew he’d live. Sam was excellent company. In the next fifteen minutes of the ride, you were proven right, because Jack was busy discussing the mysterious circumstances under which Edgar Allan Poe died, and how The murders in Rue Morgue was actually his best work. Sam was exceptionally well read and Jack was in his element with literature discussions. 

You turned to Max, showing him your basket. “Look, what I got for you- your favourite cookies and a pie!”

He let out a squeal of delight and you snuck a cookie out for him. 

The car was spotless, rich upholstery gleaming, but you knew Sam couldn’t care less if Max got crumbs on the seats. Right on track, Max dug into the cookie, not bothering about the mess. Secretly, it pleased you that you were beginning to decode their relationship.

“I didn’t know what the others would like, so I baked muffins and some savoury croissants. You think that’s okay?”

“Stop gnawing over it, Y/N,” Sam said. “Everyone’s gonna love it.”

You didn’t think he was even paying any attention to you. Course you were wrong. His eyes were melting in the rearview mirror as he smiled at you.

“Y/N woke up at 4:30 in the morning to get everything set,” Jack added.

You bent forward to look at him. “How do you know that?”

“I could hear your beater whirring. Thin walls.”

“That woke you up? I’m so sorry, Jack!”

Jack snorted. “Was she always like this?”

“Always,” said Sam, with all the warmth. You could feel the heat in your chest.

For the rest of the ride, you happily listened to Max chatter about the badminton racquet in the trunk and Claire’s home bowling set. He was such a joy to listen to when he was just being a kid and not careful. You listened very attentively, picking out the things that were only in the subtext of his words. Max loved these people- Jody, her girls and even Chase. He knew their habits and their natures like a family. Sam must have relied on them a lot and often. 

You were so lost in Max’s words, that the car was already silently cruising along the San Francisco bay. The water stretched by one side of the road. Instinctively, you tightened the grip on Max’s hand. 

Why hadn’t you thought to ask where the picnic was!

As it turned out, the place they had chosen was very serene… The little landscape was a small distance walk from the highway, secluded enough that it wasn’t frequented, but beautiful nonetheless. Tall, full trees dominated the landscape. The rich fall colours, oddly made the shade underneath brighter somehow, inviting. The shadows of the trees bleeded into an open, grassy area and ultimately into the sandy, pebbly waterline of the bay. 

You wrinkled your nose at the sight of nestled ducks. Sam smirked at you. Was he remembering the same afternoon? When you had tried to feed the ducks Sam and Dean’s epic failure of muffins?

Two girls were already laying out an assortment of food on the blanket. The blonde turned at the sound of Max’s hoots and her face brightened at the site of Jack. It was adorable. Alex still had her hand in a cast and Jody was hauling a cane chair from behind. All of them looked in a jovial mood. Maybe the whole sneaking out at night debacle was behind them. 

Alex greeted you first when you reached them. “It’s great to see you again, Mrs. Winchester.”

You felt rather than saw Sam’s eyes flash towards you. Smiling, you sat down next to her. “Y/N is just fine, Alex. You don’t have to change names all of a sudden.” 

Both she and Claire were a little wide eyed. Your situation had clearly been a topic of discussion with them. This girl they randomly knew as Max’s friend or Jack’s neighbor was now suddenly Sam’s wife. It must’ve been bizarre. After sharing a few pleasantries with Jody, you pulled out your own basket.

You had to admit, the reactions were very mollifying as they dug into the muffins, pies and croissants, moaning with closed eyes. Sam gave you a sideways smirk at their reaction.

“That’s it,” Jody declared. “You’re passing the rest of the semester for legal writing without handing in a single assignment. The muffins alone… mmm.”

“Save me some,” Sam complained. It was mostly aimed at Jody.

She scowled at him. “You stop making those eyes at me, Winchester. I’m not giving up my share.” When you giggled she turned towards you. “Did he always do that?”

“Puppy dog eyes of doom? Yeah… always.”

“You make that shit work for you in the court, don’t you? That’s how you win all of them cases,” she grumbled.

“How rude!”

You turned at the offended sound. Chase stood behind you with arms crossed over his chest. 

“You guys started eating without me?” He huffed, sitting down on your other side and turned to Max. “Your dad, I can expect that from. Since when did you turn into such an Iago?”

“I saved you the cookies,” Max said promptly, pulling the bag from behind him. There was a small furor which was mostly the girls complaining about how they didn’t know there were cookies. It ended with Chase clutching the bag to his chest.

“Flee away, children,” he said. “I need the cookies to mend my broken heart.”

“What happened to your girlfriend? Weren’t you bringing her with you?” Sam asked.

Chase threw him a very impressive shade. “She dumped me, Samuel.”

“Why?”

“She couldn’t bear that I was prettier than her.”

You suspected Chase was just playing it out for the cookies. He did not look heartbroken in the least. 

Once the food stash was considerably depleted, the girls, Jack and Max, picked up the racquets and divided their teams for Badminton. When Max insisted that you join them, Sam vehemently supported your argument of terrible hand-eye coordination. He knew and much like yourself, did not want to put other people in the way of the harm that you might inflict. In the end, only the group of four ended up on the blankets. Sam, Jody, you and Chase who was almost lying on his side, head resting on his hand, propped up on an elbow. He looked younger in a t-shirt and jeans. 

“I still can’t believe you can cook all of this by yourself! No wonder Sam didn’t want to junk the marriage.”

“Chase!” Sam admonished, mortified, but you enjoyed Chase’s unapologetic behaviour, being all too tired of people stepping on eggshells around you- especially Sam.

“No, it’s alright,” you said, grinning at Chase, who returned your grin with a wink.

“You don’t happen to have a sister, do you?” He enquired.

“Well, actually…”

“Someone other than Jo,” he added quickly. “God knows I won’t survive a minute if I went toe to toe with Dean Winchester. One Winchester is enough to keep me in line.”

Sam threw Chase his classic bitchface then went back to his conversation with Jody. Eyeing his absorption, Chase tilted his head towards the side, “Care to join me for a walk, Y/N?”

You chanced a look at Sam, who was busy discussing a faculty matter and nodded. As quietly as you could, the two of you got up and moved away. 

“So, did you end up applying? To Acton Gris, I mean?” He asked, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his pants.

“I did, the very evening. I’m trying not to be too hopeful.”

His green eyes regarded you. “Now, whyever would you do that?”

“Because I’m a realist and I know what type of competition I’m up against.”

Chase chuckled. “You’re too idealistic, Y/N. Even more than Mr. Mc-dreamy over there. Never thought I’d see him topped in that category. I’m still hopeful. Looks like I’m the only one.”

“Why do you care?” You asked. “What does it matter to you if I end up in Acton Gris or not?”

“It doesn’t. I think it would be great for your career and it’s my duty being from the same alma mater to further your cause.”

You raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “And this has nothing to do with Sam.”

Chase was quiet for a long time, watching his steps as you strolled along the waterline, a safe distance away from it. You had given up on expecting an answer and were just beginning to wonder what would be a good time to turn around and head back when he finally spoke, “I’ll admit I haven’t been your biggest fan, Y/N. Sam never said a word against you… and that is exactly what pissed me off.” 

This was in line with what you had pretty much already assumed so it didn’t come as a surprise.

“I’m telling you this because I know you ain’t a snowflake,” said Chase. “You don’t have the liberty to be a snowflake after everything you’ve been through. I also know you don’t care about my opinion of you.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you pointed out.

He sighed. “I suggested that you try at Acton Gris not for Sam’s sake but mine. That part I told you about- how Sam’s too high up to be involved with paralegals- is one hundred percent true. But I wanted to get to know you for myself.”

“To see if I was any good for Sam?”

Chase snorted. “This whole deal makes me sound like Sam’s possessive mistress but I am protective of him… and of his boy over there. I’ve been around for the start of that story, and they’ve been hurt enough. I am cad for saying this but I just didn’t trust you enough, and Sam being Sam was pining after you from day one… it’s quite tiresome to watch.”

“And now what? You suddenly approve of me? I passed some invisible test?”

“You guys are already married, who the heck am I to set a test for you? For the majority part I was telling the truth, you know. You’d flourish at Acton Gris. It would make you happy and Sam would be over the moon. But I still want to get to know you better.” He paused. “I haven’t had the best of family life growing up. More money than I could count, but my mother ditched me and my dad before I could spell out her name. I’ve seen him miserable for all his life… and well, it gave me mommy issues to last a lifetime.” Chase winked. “So all the meddling is clearly not me projecting my childhood abandonment issues on you. Clearly!”

Chase’s blunt honesty surprised you. He owed you nothing at all. Yet here he was answering all your questions. While he was at it, you decided to ask one more.

“Now you think I won’t break Sam’s heart?”

He looked at you and shook his head lightly. “I don’t know that. What I do know is that you won’t be able to break his heart without breaking your own first. I’ve only ever wanted him to be happy. Tried setting him up with a hundred girls, the guy just wouldn’t budge. Then you come back and it’s fucking sunshine all over his face. I know when to give up.”

Oddly, you understood exactly where Chase was coming from. He was so strongly rooted in Sam’s corner, all of his thoughts were biased, even if it meant being critical and wary of you. You hadn’t tried to achieve it, but somewhere in the middle you had gained both Chase’s confidence and his liking.

“What’s it like working under Sam?” You asked, changing the topic as well as voicing a curiosity. 

Chase gave you a look. “Now or then?”

“Both,” you said after a minute.

“You’ve got to know, I used to look up to Sam when I was at Stanford- not that he knew I existed back then. He was in the final year, I was in the first, and he was everything I wanted to be- Top of his class, valedictorian, popular with the ladies. I applied at Johnson’s because of that.” He paused, continuing only after an encouraging look from you. “He was nothing like I remembered. Every time I faced him, there was a very real risk of being fired for the smallest mistake.”

Chase laughed. You did not. He was describing a Sam you couldn’t imagine, a Sam that shouldn’t have existed.

“Now he’s my best friend. At any rate, he’s about the only person who puts up with my dumb antics.”

“He puts up with a lot from a lot of people,” you murmured, absentmindedly staring at the lake. 

A small moment caught your eye. The birdy that had been flying back and forth between the girls and the boys, flew over a bit too high and far. And as a reflex, Max, his eyes up, backed away fast.

“No!” You were already running by the time you realised that the terrified scream was yours. 

“No, no… Chirp!” You shouted, but it was too late as the boy’s feet hit the wet slope. He slipped and tumbled back, rolling right into the water. 

Your legs were aching from how hurriedly you dove after him, right into the bay, lashing in the water till your hands found Max’s body. Yanking him out of the water and against your body, you backed off quickly. You cradled his body on the sandy shore, frantically checking his face, arms to make sure he was alright. Max didn’t look hurt, just shocked and a bit scared.

“Are you okay?” You asked, too loudly. Max nodded.  

Hands landed on your shoulder, your head. Voices told you to let go but you did not release Max, not till another voice murmured in your ear, “It’s alright, Y/N. He’s okay.”

You turned on Sam. “Why did you let him near water? Why weren’t you paying any attention?” You yelled, not relinquishing your hold on Max.

Sam crouched down before you, not attempting to reach out to Max, who was staring wide eyed at you. 

“What if something had happened to him?” You wiped at your tears with the back of your hand. “He’s just a little boy! How could you be so careless?”

Sam shrugged out of his jacket and carefully wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Max is alright,” he said calmly, “You can let go of him.”

“No!”

“Y/N, you’re all wet and you’re starting to shake. Get inside the car before it gets worse.”

“But Max…”

“Max is fine,” Sam said in the same patient tone. “Look at the water, it’s not even waist deep. This side of the bay is very shallow for, at least, fifty yards and Max can swim very well.”

The realisation came very suddenly. Max had never been in any danger at all. The girls had sarongs on, maybe they had all intended a swim. You had needlessly created a scene, drenched Max more than he needed to be and yelled at Sam for being an irresponsible father.

The tears spilled over again but because of a different reason this time- shame. You let go of Max the next instant, staring pointedly at the ground.

Max turned in your lap. Small, soft hands came up to wipe away the tears from your eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. “I won’t go near the water again.”

You threw your arms around him again and sobbed against his little neck. The people around you seemed to be closing in but you didn’t want to look up at any of them. Your heartbeat was thudding erratically against Max’s head but he didn’t make a move to leave or get up.

“C’mon, girls, start packing,” Jody ordered over you. “Give Y/N some space to breathe. You, too, lover boy!”

Four sets of feet scampered away. 

“Chase, take Max to the blankets. There’s a fresh set of clothes in his bag.”

You did not want to let go of the boy. Doing so would make you face Sam.

It seemed Max was reluctant as well, but with one look at Sam, he disentangled himself. You felt the softest brush of his lips on your cheek and then Max was walking away, his hand in Chase’s. 

Sam put both his hands against your arms and pulled you to your feet. He drew his coat tightly around you and started walking you towards his car, his palm firmly planted against your back. 

You let him, without another word as he opened the door of the passenger seat for you to get in. Sam got in on the other side and turned the heat up. Only when the car started did you shake out of the quiet.

“Wait. Max?”

“Don’t worry about him. Chase will drive him home.”

Sam’s voice betrayed no emotion. Not anger or hurt. It was as composed as the many lectures he had delivered.

Ashamed of even meeting his gaze, you tipped your head against the window, glad that the side was facing the road instead of the bay and closed your eyes. It felt like floating in bliss if you buried your emotions down- this sensation of gliding on a smooth road, the heat in the car swirling with the scent of Sam’s cologne. It felt familiar and safe. 

All too soon you were jerked awake, the car easing into the driveway and coming to a stop. It was already dark outside. Somehow you had slept through the whole ride. Your clothes were completely dry. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered, his voice like velvet in the darkness. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Straightening up, you turned to face Sam who was looking down at you with concern etched on his face. Slowly, you took his hand in yours and spoke through a hoarse voice, looking at them. “Please forgive me.” Those three words did not even begin to cover the regret you felt over what had happened. You were an outsider, looking in on Sam’s life with this strange hunger and desire. You wanted to be a part of his little family so bad, but you weren’t yet. You didn’t know Max the way Sam did, did not understand Max’s choices, and the thoughts behind them. You did not have a right to him or Sam. Ignoring all of that, you had yelled at Sam, the way a wife would yell at her husband for neglecting their child. But, Sam wasn’t neglecting Max. Max wasn’t your son and you were barely Sam’s wife. 

“It was thoughtless and stupid to raise my voice at you and say those words. I forgot that Max belongs to you, that you could never be careless towards him. I had no right to yell at you in front of everyone.” 

Maybe it was all for good. Let Sam see what you were capable of. If he saw the truth of how broken you were, maybe he would stop wanting you in his life. Everyone knew how hysteric you could get now. So much for Jody rooting for you. So much for Chase’s hopes of Sam getting to be happy. They all saw you for who you truly were. 

“You remember what I told you the other night?” Sam asked. “When you came over and we sat by the swing?”

The lightness of his voice made you look up. He should be angry, at least, pissed.

“I told you that I didn’t care what people thought about us.”

“Doesn’t justify what I did… How it must’ve looked...”

“You know how it looked to me?”

Sam’s eyes were clear, no resentment in them. “To me it looked like you ran to protect my son without caring for your life. You didn’t know the water wasn’t deep, you can’t swim and you’re fucking terrified of water. I’m not even talking about what the cold does to you. Why on earth would I care about how this looks to anyone else?”

You were transfixed by the depth of his words.

“Those people either love you or love me. I’m sure they saw it no differently than how I see it.”

“What about Max? I must’ve scared him so bad.” The poor boy hadn’t said anything except apologise to you for stepping in the water. It hadn’t been his fault.

Sam pursed his lips. “I wouldn’t worry too much about him. I think he’s concerned about you the most.”

You put your head in your hands, weary. The fear was still an echo in your stomach despite the sleep, and it was getting stronger every minute- what if something had happened to Max?

“Can I ask you something?” Sam sounded hesitant.

“Mhmm.”

“Do you remember what you said right before you jumped in the water?”

You frowned, trying to remember. “Wasn’t I calling out to Max?” There had been no time to say anything or do anything else.

Sam’s face was tender as he said, “Yeah, you were calling out to Max.”

What a weird thing to ask! You tried harder, failing to remember what Sam was talking about.

Lights flared up behind. You leaned back, not realising just how close you were to Sam. The car coming from behind came to a halt at the start of the driveway. The doors opened and Max and Jack spilled out from either sides. Jack reached your door first. He opened it and pulled you into a hug without waiting for you to turn.

“Hey, hey, I’m okay.”

“You were shaking so bad.” 

It was actually nothing compared to what Jack could have witnessed if Sam hadn’t whisked you off into the car and in front of a heater.

Chase’s reaction was a bit more subdued. He looked worried about how you were doing and wasn’t his usual boisterous self. When Sam invited him for dinner, he took a raincheck. So did Jack. Once, Chase had driven away, Sam looked at you expectantly, but you just shook your head. You had intruded on their time too much already. 

You crouched down to Max’s level who was uncharacteristically quiet. “I scared you today, didn’t I?”

Max didn’t say anything. He placed the back of his hand against your forehead and then under your jaw.

“I’m alright, sweetie,” you assured him. 

Max hugged you around the neck, and you hugged back tightly just for a second. You would jump inside a hundred lakes a hundred times without a single thought if it meant Max would be safe.

“I love you,” Max whispered very quietly in your ear. You were sure no one else had heard it.

Just as quietly, you whispered back. “I love you, too, my little boy.”

“Get inside, Max,” Sam said. “Wash your hands and change out of your clothes. I’ll be there in a minute to run the bath for you.”

With a small sigh, Max went inside, but not before giving you a smile.

“I’ll wait for you right outside the gate,” Jack told you. “It was great meeting you, Sam.”

“Likewise,” said Sam.

You watched Jack almost run out of sight. 

“Cool kid,” Sam muttered, eyes in the same direction.

You sighed. “I can’t believe I ruined the picnic and put a damper on everyone’s mood.”

“C’mere.” Sam gently pulled you to him, so that your body was leaning against his. One hand was curled around your shoulder and his other hand was against your lower back. You could feel the tips on his fingers against the little skin exposed between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your pants. It sent a thrill through your body. “It’s like you have to find something to worry about all the time. Quit doing that. Everyone’s just glad that you’re okay. We’ll do this again sometime, alright? We can push Chase in the water next time.”

You snorted.

“And don’t worry about the yelling. You know I always liked it when you got bossy like that.”

Sam’s words made you giggle.

“There’s my girl.” His warm breath washed over your face. 

What you did next was inexcusable. Without warning, you were reaching up on the tips of your toes, kissing him. Sam was surprised, his hands left your body, but you threw yours around his neck, raising yourself up against his tall frame. He was so shocked that he lost his balance and fell back against the wall next to his door. You did not give up, sucking on his lower lip, feeling the roll of his muscles under your hand.

Sam let out a primal sound and the next second you were turning, it was your back to the wall now. He hoisted you up against the surface by your waist with one hand, hitching your leg around his waist. The other hand tangled in your hair as his mouth worked hard against yours. His taste was heady, intoxicating and the way he was kissing you was enough to make you forget where you were, what you were doing. It would make you forget your own name. The hand at your waist travelled under the hem of your shirt, clutching at the skin on your lower back, and his lips started to travel downwards, sucking, biting, along your chin to your jaw and back down again to the column of your neck. Sam wasn’t gentle… and as you gasped, indecently, eyes closed, you didn’t want him to be gentle either. 

No, you wanted him to be rougher, go harder and never stop.

“Daaaaaadd!” Max sang from the inside and the two of your sprang apart. Your feet landed on the ground with resounding reality. 

"Coming," he said, voice thick.

Sam bent down, hands on his knees, gasping hard.

“Oops!” You muttered. 

He looked up at you with a boyish grin, face flushed, looking years younger.

“I better go,” you said, biting your lip. “Jack’s waiting for me.”

You wanted nothing more than for him to ask you to stay and by the looks of it, he wanted the exact same thing.

“Uhhh yeah…” Sam huffed, shifting slightly, trying to adjust his jeans furtively. That made your face grow hotter. 

“Bye!” You ducked out of the porch, not looking back, least you should turn around and attack him again. What had gotten into you to react so wildly? That must’ve been highly inappropriate! 

A small voice in your head told you that it was anything but inappropriate… technically, at least.

Jack’s face lit up when he saw you and then it immediately dropped.

“What happened?”

“Y-Your hair!” He muttered, looking anywhere but at you.

“Oh!” It was mussed up in all directions. Hurriedly, you ran your fingers through it, hoping for some semblance. “Sorry.”

After a minute, Jack sneaked a glance and then smiled impishly. “I’m sorry. It’s just the idea of you making out with someone gives me the heebies… You’re like my sister!” He screwed up eyes into slits to show the cringe.

You laughed.

At the door, Jack gave you another hug. “I gotta say, Y/N, I wasn’t convinced about this whole Sam business before today. Neither was Kev. You know we would always support you with whatever you decided, but seeing you with him was very relieving. I won’t worry again.”

It was heartening, how much everyone cared for you. 

You had to take a cold shower once inside, despite your composition. It was regretful, because the water washed away the remnants of Sam’s smell off of you. Idly, you wondered if you could steal the shirt he had lent you and keep it for yourself, climb into it when you went to bed like you used to. 

The shower was necessary to reign in the utter chaos that was your brain. The evening had been eventful enough, but what had happened on Sam’s porch? How were you ever going to keep your hands away from him now? Abstaining was your idea to begin with. Sam had bared his heart to you, and this was your decision to keep your hands to yourself till you said the three words back to him.

So much for self control. But the way he’d looked at you, angels would have fallen for less. You were only a human. Besides, nothing would ever compare to the feeling of Sam’s lips, his fingers digging in your back, his body pressed against yours. 

You got into the bed, missing the warmth of his body when your phone pinged. Rolling on your stomach, you reached out to grab it from the nightstand praying the text was from the one person you wanted it to be from. It was.

*I missed that. I missed us*

Hugging the phone to your chest, you sighed like a teenager back from her first kiss. The incidence with water should have shaken you, the way you were wrecked anytime you got drenched, instead you were laying in bed grinning like an idiot.

*I missed us, too*

His reply was instantaneous. 

*It’s been a while…*

What an idiot! You knew what he was implying. As if he could ever be less than perfect at anything, especially at that.

You typed your response quickly. 

*Oh, Mr. Winchester, you always knew how to show a girl a good time*

The tightening in your stomach which refused to go away despite the cold shower was proof enough. Your skin still tingled. 

*That’s comforting… and encouraging ;)*

Yes, it was going to be really hard to go back to keeping your hands off each other now. Being around him was like breaking dams. Once you broke one, it was impossible to put that barrier back up again. The class tomorrow was going to be excruciating. For tonight, you let the wildest fantasies mingled with old memories take up all of your brain space. Even if it left you writhing in your sheets.

*Good night, Mr. Winchester*

You saw the three dots following one another and then disappearing as Sam typed. Once, twice, thrice. Finally the little pop up bubble appeared.

*Good night, Mrs. Winchester. I love you* 

**********************************

A/N 2: I quite like this part. Gave me the chance to explore how delicate, confusing, dependent and volatile emotions can be at the same time. I think if I hadn’t had the backing of 35 chapters, I’d never be able to pull of the conversations in this chapter, Sam, Chase, Jack... all of them. They wouldn’t have been as funny, emotional or exciting. That’s just me thinking maybe.

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fashion major!kevin

ANYWAY THERE WAS LIKE ONE PERSON WHO CALLED FOR A FASHION MAJOR KEVIN SPINOFF OF THE COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON AU I JUST POSTED (linked below) anyway! hope you enjoy, please reblog if you did, and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: kevin x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: fluff, university!au

triggers: cursing

college model!juyeon

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

kevin moon is known on campus for two things: 1. his bright personality literally everyone loves him and if you don’t you’re jealous of him like sorry not sorry i don’t make the rules you know i’m right and 2. his.... unorthodox fashion sense. like eric thought his snake patterned shit was weird as hell?? but there are weirder things in kevin’s closet i swear to you. anyway this unorthodox style is what got him accepted into the fashion program at the university and even though there are a few assholes who stick their noses up at kevin’s work the vast majority of people are cool w his outfits even if they personally wouldn’t wear them and kevin is v well-liked in his major and on campus in general bc he knows everyone and is nice and polite and really a v cool person to be around when he’s not being a fucking idiot

and on campus there are fashion shows a few times every semester to show off the fashion majors’ work, and let’s just say that this university if p well know for its fashion major so some famous people sometimes come along to these events so EVERY TIME a fashion show rolls around the fashion majors get nervous as FUCK and there’s a lot of speculation on who will get noticed and whatever and everyone is secretive about what they’re working on and just. everyone goes fucking haywire and kevin is always v happy when the stress winds down after a show

(no one knows it but kevin has gotten offers from several companies to work with them after he graduates. he hasn’t told anyone except a few friends like juyeon/jacob and his family)

anyway you are also a fashion major who secretly really admires kevin’s stuff?? like you just think he’s so daring and creative and all of his work is absolutely amazing even if it’s a little weird and honestly you don’t even feel overshadowed by his talent and hard work you just feel in awe that you can be in his presence at all. you’re p sure kevin has no idea who you are bc even though you have a lot of the same classes you’re always too shy to sit or work near him bc even though he seems so nice and approachable he’s also just.... god he’s so good

BUT THEN. one of your professors announces that for the next fashion show they’ll be modeling projects that he’s assigning right now. which is weird asf bc usually you’ll all take your best clothing and like fix it or tweak it for the next show, like sometimes people will make something completely from scratch but that’s nerve-wracking and not many people do it unless they’re in a real pinch but it gets even WEIRDER bc this is not a regularly scheduled fashion event?? it’s like a smaller event apparently that they’ve organized just for this project AND THE WEIRDNESS TAKES THE CAKE when your professor says that YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE MODELS. YOU ALL ARE GOING TO PICK SOMEONE IN THE CLASS TO MAKE CLOTHES FOR AND THEY WILL MODEL YOUR OUTFIT

and this SENDS EVERYONE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT??? bc oh god you can’t rely on the models you’ve been using all semester now??? and you have to make flattering clothes for someone you might not even know v well and it’s just. holy fuck holy fuck holy FUCK

meanwhile you already know who you want to create for (/ahem kevin moon/) but you’re also chicken so like??? you’re just sitting in your seat looking over at him but not saying anything until your friend chanhee just pushes you out of your seat in kevin’s direction and is like GO ASK HIM BEFORE YOU LOSE THIS CHANCE and you’re like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHANHEE but kevin’s noticed your movement and he’s looking over with a smile on his face and you’re like jfc i can’t do this but chanhee shoves you again and so you kinda smile (you really hope it looks like a smile) and your voice is LITERALLY shaking when you go over and ask if it would be ok to use him as a model for this assignment and he’s like.... oh my god yes

because what YOU don’t know is that kevin has been ogling your designs all year?? like he enjoys his own style and is comfortable in it but he loves your work as in LOVES IT. he thinks your designs are absolutely flawless and original and you combine styles so effortlessly that he just wants to look into your brain when you come up with ideas bc what the fuck?? you may have different styles but kevin knows how to admire art AND YOUR DESIGNS ARE ART. 

so you’re reeling a day later bc now you have kevin moon’s number and he has yours and he’s now texting you on when you think you’ll have the first preliminary designs ready and when you can meet up so you can get each other’s measurements and all that and when you eventually meet up your hands are shaking so much that you can barely take his measurements and kevin is screeching in his mind as well bc oh my god you’re going to model his clothes YOU’RE GOING TO MODEL HIS CLOTHES

most people are again being secretive about their designs and even though someone in their class is modeling for them this time so there’s a bit less secrecy they’re still working alone so you get a shock when kevin asks if you want to coordinate your outfits. like work on designs together and maybe make something that matches a little though ofc retaining your own styles and you just shriek when you get the text and poor childhood best friend younghoon spills his coffee (you have been friends since basically birth and there are no romantic feelings whatsoever ok it’s strictly platonic like you watched younghoon vomit after eating too much bread when you were like 10 and he watched you get tangled up in a soccer net when you were 13 there are no romantic feelings stemming from any of that)

needless to say you reply yes yes ye sYES and kevin is grinning so wide on the other end that juyeon wonders if he’s gone slightly insane (which he has but we’re not gonna dwell on that) and both of you show up to the work rooms nervous as all hell (i’m not a fashion major i have no fashion sense i still think t-shirts/leggings are the way to go so idk how any of this works do not sue me) but kevin has a natural ability to defuse any tension in the room so within minutes you’re comfortable and laughing with him and wondering why you were so scared to approach him before and THEN YOU’RE REMINDED WHY when he shows you his design for you because... oh god.... it’s unbelievable. like it has a distinctly kevin feel to it but he’s clearly been paying attention to what you wear and what you design because it’s something you would like to wear and something you even think you could look good in. holy shit

and you just blurt out like kevin what the fuck this is so good did you like stalk my designs or some shit?? and you mean it as a joke ofc but kevin just goes beet red and mumbles something about how he really likes your work and how it’s so sharply elegant but also insanely creative and you’re just. open-mouthed like. dude i’m in love with your work too oh my god i’m gonna cry my fashion idol just said he likes my designs i’m gonna screaM

kevin stops you from screaming though even though he also feels like he’s gonna scream and this is the start of a very productive partnership between the two of you like most of the fashion majors are friendly despite the competition but you and kevin are on a whole other level?? and you start hanging out more and more often even when you’ve finished designing and are actually sewing (you ask him if this part can be secret bc you want to add a few things as a surprise - he ofc says yes and winks and tells you he has things he wants to add too which just makes you want to scream out of excitement)

and it’s a week before fashion show day and you and kevin are finished with putting together the designs and you’re excited as all hell and kevin is literally about to burst from his own skin and you insist that he goes first and when he pulls the outfit from the bag you’re just. in absolute awe. the colors match the design you made, it looks like it’ll fit, and even though it screams kevin moon it also has a distinct vibe from your own fashion style and you just yell KEVIN MOON YOU GENIUS as you snatch it from him and go change

(you don’t know obviously but kevin is blushing like a tomato while waiting for you to finish changing)

it fits almost perfectly, kevin marks a few places to fix and is debating whether or not to compliment you bc??? that sounds like he’s complimenting his own work and that’s egocentric as hell but then you say something like does it look fine and he just blurts out more than fine. you look great

AND YOU’RE SO FLUSTERED THAT YOU ALL BUT THROW YOUR OWN BAG AT KEVIN and are like GO CHANGE 

so he takes out the clothes and goes silent and you’re like.... oh my god does he hate it i mean we worked on the designs together and he said he liked it then but what if he changed his mind but then he looks at you and his eyes are sparkling and he’s like y/n this is perfect. literally perfect and he rushes to go get changed and when he comes out your eyes are bugging out of your head bc holy hell you pictured kevin in these clothes obviously since they were made for him but he looks so much better than you ever imagined

and then you blurt out something like holy shit you look beautiful

and kevin blushes again

anyway you both take your measurements and run out and then the day of the fashion show rolls around and both of you are freaking out backstage but the instant you two go on it’s like you both are literal gods bc you feel so confident in each other’s clothing and the crowd can feel it THEY CAN FUCKING FEEL IT and they go nuts when you two walk out!!! and even though it isn’t like a huge major fashion show, it’s just for this one project that your professors cooked up, you and kevin are both beaming like the sun when it’s over despite the fact that it wasn’t an important event bc holy shit you two had fun and everyone’s complimenting your clothing and it’s great it’s just great

finally all the chaos is over and the clothes have been put away and the makeup removed and you and kevin are now standing outside the venue in a kind of stunned silence that all of it’s over. it’s all over. and then you suddenly thrust out the clothes you made that kevin wore and tell him to keep it. it’s a present. and kevin takes it but he also forces you to take the outfit he made for you. and then there’s silence again

but if there’s anything you’ve gained over the past few weeks it’s a bit of courage. courage that let you talk to kevin, courage that let you design clothes for him, courage that let you become friends (and maybe something more) with him. you’ve also learned that kevin is a massive dork and a lovely human being and you’d really love to at least stay in contact so in that the moment you smile and say ‘if i asked you on a date, would you wear that outfit?’

poor kevin looks like he’s about to have a fucking aneurysm and you start to lose confidence but then he’s nodding like there’s no tomorrow like yes ye sYE S OH MY GOD YE S and omg you now have a boyfriend whom you like very very much and kevin has a partner whom he likes very very much

you two may not be a pda couple but you ARE that couple that matches every outfit they wear, you make jewelry and accessories for each other and also make each other clothes every so often. everyone is jealous of your combined fashion sense bc even though the outfits might look outrageous, you two both manage to pull them off and look fabulous at it, but also they can’t even be that jealous bc you two are the sweetest couple and are absolutely lovely 

both of you do wear the outfits you made for that show on your first date which is to like a musical or smth bc theatre kid kevin is something you can pry out of my cold dead hands and everyone’s staring but you two are in your own little world and it’s amazing

kevin admits at one point that he was afraid to ask you out bc he thought younghoon was your boyfriend and you just snort and tell him everything stupid younghoon’s done and by the end younghoon is done with you, kevin is about to vomit he’s laughing so hard, and you are smirking like no tomorrow

for the end of year fashion show you and kevin fix up and accessorize the outfits you two made for the show that brought you two together and there is absolutely no surprise that several different fashion companies scout both of you (and a couple modeling agencies too since you and kevin decided to model your own clothing again - younghoon whines that you’ve replaced him but you shut him up with chocolate bread)

kevin’s a sucker for romance (you CANNOT tell me this isn't true) so your first kiss is on the roof of the fashion building at sunset when kevin does the cheesy thing where he says you look more beautiful the view and you almost slap him but you’re laughing so hard and kevin’s cackling and somehow it turns into a kiss

you are a dork and kevin is even more of a dork and it just works out beautifully bc you’re so absolutely in love that it makes people fake vomit from the sides (looking at chanhee right here) but it’s also really sweet in that you two trust each other completely and would do absolutely anything for the other except murder. kevin made that v clear but really only bc blood would stain his clothing and he doesn’t need that. you agree wholeheartedly (younghoon/juyeon are looking from the sides like what the fuck is this couple do they need help and you two are like just go away and let us be the weird couple we are ok). the conversation ends in a v soft v sweet kiss and just. ik i said it with juyeon but kevin moon is also best bf ever ok you cannot convince me otherwise. 

and that’s how it goes :)

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for this weird-ass couple)

[xuseokgyu]

Send this to blogs anonymously and ask them to ship their moots with svt <3

Oh it’s my turn to do this now... ok omg... here it goes haha

Cheol + Dreamy @scoupsy - We all know but I was just reminded how popular Coups is 😂 I had many options, but I feel like Dreamy’s personality and his would match a lot. I feel that, like him, she’s very mature, but can let go and be “an 8yo” sometimes. Was reading her carrd and could picture them playing video games together haha

Hannie + Karol @secndlife - I know she’s in a Hoshi mood right now (and thank god for that we got a 33k word beautiful love letter) But one of my favorite things to see on my dash is the ‘love battle’ between her and other moots calling her out on her simp agenda towards Jeonghan hahaha They would bicker a lot but be super soft in other moments too

Shua + Kevin @jaemtens - Haven’t talked much to Kevin personally, but I just can’t help linking these two. I honestly think they would match up perfectly

Jun + Emily @iiasha - I mean!!! I also can’t help but link these two... She will appreciate him like he deserves and I feel like they would be like those couples you love to be friends with? Effortlessly funny and not all over each other making you feel uncomfortable as a third wheel

Hoshi + Chey @soonhoonsol - THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE! I can’t help but think of that beach date moodboard where we talked about her eating ice cream with him and they being all messy, funny and adorable! He would feel her days with joy and so would she and they would also be each other safe haven

Wonwoo + Sistah @haniehae - I was between Cheol and Wonwoo for her, but just like I won’t ship her with Jeonghan cause they are literally the same person, I also feel like her’s and Coup’s personalities would clash too much, two lions fighting for dominance and attention hahah Wonwoo on the other hand would be the perfect pair. They would be a more introverted couple, many cozy home dates and soft moments.

Woozi + Carrie @art-hao - Freaking power couple!!!! Two extremely talented people that will love and appreciate each other a lot. I can see them working on lyrics together with their deep minds and maturity, but both can also be silly and cute and aaahhh they would be perfect

Hao + Gabi @myunqho - These two!! I feel like they would be those couples that loose track of time and go until morning having deep talks about life, past, present and future... I can clearly picture that. Gabi let me be your mother-in-law!! Hahah

Gyu + Val @defgyus - Another power couple!! I love how we talk about fighting him ahhaha Enemies to lovers vibe without ever being really enemies at all. He would spoil her endless and she deserves it #mingyuhousewife for the win

DK + Mi @ourseokmin - Mirelle is the person I trust to shower this insecure boy with all the praise he deserves and you know he would shower her with love too!! Aaahhh they would be so sweet 💕💕 maybe too sweet ahahha but they would love it

Seungkwan + Isa @boosbin - I can see her rolling her eyes at his antics while loving it all the same haha They would have so much fun!! Bicker a lot but also be sooo caring towards each other ahah So cute

Vernon + Tiff @junsol - I haven’t talked with Tiff a lot yet, but she is always the one I instantly connect to Vernon, maybe because of her tag rants, maybe because they genuinely have the same vibe... They totally deserve each other and they would be so cool 😎 together

Dino + Yza @jonghan - My favorite Dinonara!!! Again, someone I see truly appreciating the greatness that is Lee Chan. I can picture her watching his dance practices and maybe being the only one that can convince him he can rest, he already looks perfect. I feel like Dino would be such a soft bf!! A really sweet couple 💕

This was slightly harder than I thought, I had some more options for some of the members, but I’m happy with this list

Love you all 💕💕 and for the moots that weren’t mentioned here feel free to ask me who I would ship you with (is most likely your bias cause those are the ones I see you talk about a lot, but I know is nice to hear it hahahah)

[surveyhoursss]

98.

Prep

I shop at Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, or Aerospatiale.

I am/was a cheerleader.

I'm pretty ditzy.

I wear pink 24/7.

My looks are very important to me.

I can't live without my cell phone.

My hair is always straight.

I say 'like' and 'omigod' a lot.

I laugh 24/7.

I have a million friends.

I always hang at the mall or movies.

I'll only date popular guys.

I listen to rap & pop music.

I have at least one designer bag.

My myspace pics are of me making a kissy face or are mirror pics

It takes me at least an hour to get ready for school in the mornings.

Uggs + Miniskirts = Love

I don't have a job

I wear lots of makeup. (wouldn’t call it lots, though)

I can be stuck up or snobby sometimes.

I flirt with any guy, as long as he's cute.

Total = 5

EMO

I cry a lot.

I go to local shows.

I wear black everyday (typically I always have something black on)

I write sad poetry.

I play an acoustic guitar.

My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.

I think about suicide or death often.

People have told me to cheer up.

I cry when I see dead animals.

My myspace/Facebook pics are black or white or angled.

I wear many band shirts.

No one understands me.

I don't talk too often.

I look down when I walk.

I wear black eyeliner.

I have an ex I still cry over.

My hair is black

My hair covers one of my eyes.

I always say 'life sucks'.

Total: 4

NERD

I have straight A's.

I wear glasses.

I always do my homework and study.

Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.

Computer games.

I'm 'teachers pet'.

I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.

I have a bedtime.

I use an asthma inhaler.

I carry a calculator with me.

I bring my lunch to school.

I always follow the rules.

I'm shy around the opposite sex.

I'm always on the computer.

I've never had beer or cigarettes.

I always answer every question in class right.

I correct people's grammar.

I read a lot.

School is very important to me.

I always stump people.

Total: 8

REBEL

I always speak my mind.

I have 0% of school spirit.

F*ck you, I won't do what you tell me!

I stand up for what I think is right.

On spirit days at school, I wear the rival's colors.

Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.

I won't listen to authority figures.

I always break the rules.

I refuse to compromise.

I'm always arguing with people.

I love debate.

I always do what's unexpected of me.

I don't give a sh*t what people think of me.

If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.

I'm not afraid to contradict others.

I only respect my own beliefs.

If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.

I laugh at compromising people.

I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.

Rules were meant to be broken.

Total: 1

JOCK

I'm on one or more sport teams.

I always wear my varsity jacket.

I've won awards for my athletic ability.

I will only date popular girls/guys.

School Spirit

I'm going to a college for sports

I watch sports on TV all the time

I'm muscular.

I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.

Go Team!

I'm a chick/dude magnet.

I eat a lot.

I'm egotistical.

I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.

I sit at the jock lunch table.

All I talk about with my friends is sports.

I go to lots of sports games.

I'm very athletic

I wear sport inspired clothing.

play at least 3 different sports.

Total: 4

COMEDIAN

I'm funny.

I'm always making jokes.

I interrupt class by making people laugh.

I like to entertain people.

I worship Kevin Smith.

I watch comedies more than anything.

I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot

I'm sarcastic.

I've been told I'm hilarious.

I always imitate people.

I pull lots of pranks.

I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.

I have to prove myself by being funny.

People expect me to make jokes, always.

I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.

If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.

Jim Carrey is my idol.

I mostly get along with everybody.

At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.

My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.

Total: 3

SHY

I don't have a lot of friends.

I don't talk too much.

It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.

When people say my name, others say 'who?'

I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am.

People have told me I need to talk more.

I only talk when other people talk to me first

I look down when I walk.

I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.

People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.

I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.

I sit in the back of the classroom.

I never participate in class discussions.

I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.

I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.

I talk quietly.

People have called me shy or quiet.

I usually let others decide for me.

If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.

Total: 12

GOTHIC

I wear black.

I don't like to be seen.

I'm very, very pale.

I only listen to metal or emo-ish music. (neither of these is goth, mallgoths XD)

I love creepy, weird movies.

I love gothic cartoons and drawings.

I don't like people.

I only go out during the night.

I have black fingernails.

I wear a long black coat.

I also wear big black boots.

'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.

I only date other Goths.

I love black humor.

I love pain.

People think I'm crazy.

I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me.

I love to scare people

I laugh at teenyboppers.

People are scared of me.

Total: 3

WEIRDO

I talk to myself.

I say really random things all the time/have to say it out loud.

I fidget a lot.

I still use a wheeled backpack.

People laugh at me.

I walk really funny.

I have a very different sense of style.

I talk in a robot voice often.

I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.

I debate stuff with myself.

I hear voices.

I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.

I have a fascination with robots and machinery.

I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.

I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.

I dart my eyes from side to side.

I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non-human thing.

People have no idea why I think the way I do.

I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.

When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.

Total: 3

ANTISOCIAL

I hate/dislike most people.

I prefer to be alone.

When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.

Actually, most people don't talk to me.

People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.

I live in my room, writing in my diary. On the computer...

I go out my way to avoid everyone.

I never greet anyone.

I despise people who talk too loudly.

I want people to think I'm a freak.

I never talk.

I can't wait to get off this earth.

I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.

I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp4 player/headphones to block out the world.

I don't know why I am the way I am.

People have said I'm antisocial.

I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness.

Why bother when people don't like you anyways?

I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.

I just don't get along with anyone.

Total: 1

SKATER

I skateboard to everywhere.

If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.

I shop at Pacsun.

I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.

Oh yeah, and Bam Margera.

I always play skateboarding video games.

I have shaggy hair.

I wear baggy pants.

I wear only skater shoes.

I always wear hoodies. (well, much of the time)

I hang at skate parks 24/7.

I'm always learning new board tricks.

Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.

I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.

I hang with other skaters.

I've been hurt while skateboarding.

I've been in a skateboarding competition.

I wear vans.

Tony Hawks games win.

I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.

Total: 0

GANGSTER/HOOD

I say 'yo'.

I also say 'fo shizzle'.

I wear extremely baggy pants.

Mah chainz hang low.

I hang with my homies, biotches, and Hoe's

I'm a thug.

I only listen to rap music.

50 Cent is my idol.

I don't give a frick about school.

I steal/have stolen before (as a child lol)

I freestyle.

I breakdance.

Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.

I'm white but I act black.

All my heroes are dead rappers.

Tupac is still alive.

I party with all my nigs.

I wear a sideways baseball cap.

I wear hoodies.

I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.

Total: 2

BULLY

I always steal people's lunch money.

Geeks are afraid of me.

I get in trouble all the time.

I steal people's stuff to be an a**hole.

People have called me a bully.

I have beat someone up before.

I'm always looking for a fight.

I pick on people smaller than me.

I push people out of the way when I'm walking.

I've never been in a relationship before.

People are afraid of me.

People know not to mess with me.

I'm taller than most people my age.

I pick on people for the fun of it.

I make fun of everything anyone else likes.

If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.

People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.

I'm one of the strongest kids in school.

Even some authority figures are afraid of me.

People get out of my way when I'm walking.

Total: 0

GAMER

I own at least 2 different video game consoles.

I love Final Fantasy.

DDR & Guitar Hero

I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.

I'm always trying to beat high scores on games.

I even play a lot of computer games.

I play at least 3 hours of video games a day.

My thumbs are sore often.

I spend all my money on new video games.

My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.

All I talk about is video games.

I've been in a video game competition before

I pay over 30$ a month in online games.

I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console

I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game I play most.

I have played at least a complete week in the game I like most.

I wouldn't know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.

My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so I don't spend whole weekends and holidays playing.

I have more than one online account on the same game.

Total: 2

GIRLY

I have long hair.

I wear make up every day.

I carry a purse.

I have to get someone else to come kill a spider.

I paint my nails.

I use perfume.

I keep my nails clean/shaped

I shower regularly

I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom

I like to accessorize

I like flowers.

I don't like to be outdoors.

I'm more like my mother than my father.

I like hanging out with girls than boys.

I like going to the mall/shopping.

I watch my weight/ count calories.

I plan outfits ahead of time

People say I have a soft/sweet voice.

I dream about and am already planning my wedding day

I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc.

Total: 9

BOYISH

I have short hair.

I hate doing laundry.

I like war type video games.

I like playing or watching sports.

People say I have a deep voice.

I'm more like my dad than my mom.

I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends.

I act tough, it doesn't matter what's going on inside me.

There's only two emotions.

I shower only when I start to notice I stink

I think about the opposite sex a lot.

My room isn't neat.

I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers.

My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care

I like to play rough with dogs.

I like the movies 300, Transformers, The Dark Knight.

The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk.

I don't read

I don't ask for help even if I need it.

Total: 3

scored highest on: Shy lmao

[lilibetts]

Please wait, LoveAlarm is syncing itself to your heart!

Falling In Love With Riverdale, Theme 1: Sugar

Part 1/3

At this very moment in the not-so-idyllic town of Riverdale, Betty Cooper is 16 years, 41 weeks, 1 day, 20 hours and 34 minutes old and, to see Kevin describe it, she has been in love with Archie Andrews for 1 year, 5 months, and 14 days.

From inside the relative security of the F Hallway girls’ bathroom, she takes a deep breath to mark the magnitude of the moment, and hits [Install] on her phone. It takes less than a minute for the blue line to complete a circle and once it does, she opens the app and fills in her personal details.

Please wait, the app cheerily asks her, bright pinks and blues swirling across the screen, LoveAlarm is syncing itself to your heart!

Well, Betty sighs to herself, there’s no going back now. 

LoveAlarm is the latest matchmaking app to launch and in the two weeks since, it seems like *everyone* at Riverdale High has downloaded it. It syncs itself to your heart and a bright red heart alarm would ping if there is someone within twenty feet who loves you.

Naturally, the romantic landscape of Riverdale High School has been completely leveled. 

Midge Klump and Moose Mason both downloaded the app, only for it to tell Midge her love was unrequited. Ginger Lopez had situated herself in a prime location outside the gym doors when basketball practice let out—nobody within twenty feet of her—in the hopes that when the team’s star power forward, Anthony Parrish, came out, their phones would mutually ping. 

Instead, it was Ben Button who walked down that stretch of the hallway; instead, it was Ben Button who made her phone ping.  Then Anthony came out and *his* phone pinged, but Ginger’s did not again. According to the school grapevine, Ginger had lost her shit and called Ben a ‘baby-faced freak’.

Truthfully, the whole concept behind the app horrifies Betty, but she has to know. Making sure that every possible setting for the app is set to her phone’s vibrate function, she shoulders her backpack and heads into the cafeteria.

The walls are decorated from corner to corner with red, white, and pink streamers in anticipation of the Valentine’s Day party that will be held on Friday. PizzaShak is giving them a great deal on heart-shaped pizzas.

Her friends are at their usual table in the corner and with every step Betty takes, she is closer to knowing. When Archie hears his phone chime once she is within the twenty feet circumference, will he put two-and-two together? Will her own phone buzz with the truth? All around her, the crowded cafeteria is full of hopefuls checking their phones.

The round table has three curved benches attached to it. Kevin and Veronica share one, and across from them, Jughead and Archie split the other two. Betty slides into the space on Jughead’s left, exchanging happy hellos with her friends. Wordlessly, she hands over one of the two sandwiches she’d packed for Jughead to take. As always, he makes a show of letting out an aggrieved sigh when he spots the lettuce and sliced tomato in there with the turkey, but dutifully takes his sandwich while sliding over the remaining brownie square from his vending machine packet. This is their unspoken pact: she makes sure the bottomless pit that is Jughead Jones is sated with something healthier, he makes sure she gets a non-Alice-approved treat.

The sandwich she made is gone in three bites.

<Good?> she signs, arching one eyebrow.

<You know it,> Jughead replies, still chewing the last mouthful of turkey sandwich.

Betty has been deaf since she was three years old, after a bout with meningitis, and just because she’s well-liked among her peers doesn’t mean many of them would go as far as to learn sign language for her. That Kevin, Archie, Jughead, and Veronica have is part and parcel of why they’re her best friends.

A booted foot taps insistently against hers under the table and Betty turns away from Jughead, still grinning, to focus on Kevin. 

/Did you watch The Bachelor last night?/ His hands move as rapidly as he speaks.

/No,/ Betty tells him. /Unlike you, I actually studied for the History test./

“Har har,” Kevin deadpans. They’re both distracted by Veronica clapping her hands. 

“OMG!” she says gleefully, slapping Kevin’s bicep. /Kelley is an ICON! I told you./

As much as Betty loves her friends’ ridiculously dramatic day-after recaps, she’s too distracted to really pay attention to whatever last night’s spectacle had been about. Across the table, Archie is checking his phone, thumbs tapping and sliding across the screen. A wide grin splits his face and he turns the screen out to show Jughead.

3 people in a twenty feet radius love you!

Betty flushes and looks away, embarrassed. Of course. As covertly as possible, she takes advantage of everyone’s inattention to check her own phone.

Zero.

Nobody within a twenty feet radius loves you.

As Cheryl Strayed wrote, “acceptance is a small, quiet room”. As the realization sinks in, Betty watches, as if from a greater distance, Archie glancing around at the nearby tables, determined to figure out who those three people could be. After a few murmured words from Jughead that she can’t decipher thanks to his head being turned away from her, Archie takes off to make the rounds. A process of elimination, most likely.

Betty isn’t sure what she feels. Irritation more than disappointment? Relief? The latter emotion surprises her, especially now that she knows Archie isn’t in love with her. Kevin, and then later Veronica when she’d arrived in Riverdale, have been after her to confess her feelings to Archie but Betty has kept demurring or putting it off. Her usual excuse being that she’s too scared to wreck her friendship with him. 

Sure, they’re right when they say she’s being a coward; but is her relief after the LoveAlarm revelation just relief that now she won’t have to actually bare her heart?

She turns off her phone.

                                   ******************************************

                                                    He knows he shouldn’t be, that this definitely qualifies as eavesdropping, but here Jughead is, glancing up and over to the table where Betty is sneakily carrying on a conversation with Veronica.

It’s 7th period Honors Bio and all they need to do is finish a worksheet before the bell rings, which is easy enough, but Mr. Beeker had also stipulated silence in the classroom, so it’s a clever loophole that Betty has found. Abby, her interpreter, is absorbed in her phone, leaving Jughead to covertly watch shifting hand shapes and fingerspelled letters.

<You’re not as s-t-e-a-l-t-h-y as you think you are,> Veronica signs smugly.

<??>

<Your phone. At lunch. You d-l LoveAlarm.> Smugness melts into concern. <Well?>

This is news to Jughead, and unwelcome news at that. He shouldn’t be surprised that Betty has downloaded that stupid app and really, he should’ve seen it coming. Dread fills him as he awaits her response.

Of course Jughead refuses to download LoveAlarm. Why would he give an app his heart data? They’d only sell it to soulless companies looking to target him with ads tailored to the object of his romantic yearning.

Betty.

The facts are these: Jughead Jones is 17 years, 3 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes old. He’s also been aware that he’s deeply, irrevocably in love with Betty Cooper for 1 year, 4 months, and 19 days. An eternity, basically.

 A rare beam of sunlight has broken through the February gray outside, casting a pale glow on her downturned face, the long eyelashes that brush her cheeks. It’s the flare of her nostrils and the tight press of her lips together that tell him she’s upset. 

There’s a sharp pang in his chest.

<He doesn’t.> The words, accompanied by a shake of Betty’s head that makes her ponytail bounce, are all he needs to understand. 

Jughead isn’t obtuse, he knows which ‘he’ they’re talking about, the only one ‘he’ it could be: Archie. Blame Kevin, he’s shit at subtlety. 

So, Betty had downloaded LoveAlarm and now she knows Archie isn’t in love with her. The latter isn’t news to him but he would’ve been fine if Betty had continued to go through life not knowing that particular fact. But it’s the sentence that comes next that breaks his heart.

<I have a zero. Nobody loves me.> What goes unspoken but, to Jughead, is writ large upon her face is: ‘I’m not lovable’.

He looks away from their conversation, angry that anyone would make her feel like this. Ashamed that he is a guilty party in this.

That night while lying on his bed, Jughead finds himself torn.

What he had seen earlier has given him food for thought. Which is just as well because he likes to take the time to think broadly and deeply, much in the same way he likes to eat. Next to him on the bed, his phone is open to the App Store, and LoveAlarm waits there patiently, ready for his decision.

Is Betty Cooper worth it? Unquestionably Yes.

Is he willing to risk discovery? Having his heart spilled right out there for her to see...even worse, for others to see? Vulnerable and already bruised, where it’d easily be crushed into messy smithereens?

Unable to answer that, his brain circles back around to the first question: is Betty Cooper worth it?

With a low, drawn-out groan, Jughead hits [Install] and gives corporations access to his heart.

[yamithediaperdork]

Happy Fathers Day (Mortal instruments..because..of course XD)

It was the annual father day picnic in central park, and while something semi scandalous seemed to happen every year, this year would be the one to take the proverbial cake. If nothing else one group of boys, close knit friends since they were in pre school together, would have a whole new world opened up to them. they were Alex and Jacob Wolfe, 12 year old twins with dirty blond hair that Jacob had in a mushroom cut while Alex kept his buzzed, Keith Ryan who had shoulder length brown hair and finally Kevin west, who kept his black hair buzzed down. Today while their four man band (At least that's what their dad's liked to call them, the boys all just rolled their eyes at that) where playing a game of football, waiting on their dad's to call them over for food, they got treated to a sight one may not of expected at a public park, at least not during the day. It was Jacob who noticed the sight first, stopping and starring and his jaw dropped which let the ball deck him in the face, but the pre-teen didn't seem to notice. "Dude, what's with you?" Keith asked, running up, annoyed since they were on the same team. "Jacob, you ok?" Alex asked, worried about his brother. "Oh man, he's gone comatose..tell me you didn't eat any of my dad's chilli. I warned you guys about that!" Kevin groaned. All Jacob could do was point, and the other three followed the finger, and joined him in drop jaw reactions. After all, it wasn't every day you saw a adult baby being lead into the park.

going back to a few days earlier, and Jace had been snuggling in his daddies arms. the shadow hunter had just finished a coming out party involving all of his closet friends and while not everyone was happy, they had been understanding and gushed about how cute he'd been in his barbie diaper and teddy bear top. Simon, the vampire daddy of the littlest monster killer had been semi glad about how well the party had gone, though he was also disappointed. "and then when Alec gave me head pats and said he knew it, had knew it fer years..ehehehehe your right daddy! Coming clean was the best thing to do!" Jace coo'ed, and nuzzled into Simon's chest. "Well to be fair, I guess I shouldn't of been shocked so many of them knew, since you've been wearing them to bed every night." Simon admitted and patted the boys soggy diaper. Barbie had long since faded away from the front but the diaper could take a bit more punishment, and with how often Jace went well, they had to make every diaper count. "And pull up's during the day, just like you told me to cuz I'm SUCH a good boy!" Jace beamed, all proud of himself for letting himself be sent back into 24/7 diaper wearing. "It's just..I dunno..I was mayybbeee..." Simon started and Jace giggled and smirked. "You wanted them to tease and torment me and make me a red faced big baby so I'd be super squirmy and cry baby~" Jace giggled. "Well tough! They were loving and understanding and I'm just all happy and want cuddles, not filled with massive humiliation and going into a whiny big baby mode!" Jace finished and blew a raspberry. "..You know. since you're gonna be my widdle guy 24/7.. I think we need to let even more people know and see the real you." Simon said, as he wiped the spittle from the raspberry off of his face. the fact he had a evil grin on his face made Jace gulp and lose his, and a muffled fart sounded from his rear. "...I don't like it when you get that look on your face daddy."

In the following days some steps were taken to help Jace be the little boy he wanted to be 24/7, even though Jace started regretting his decision to ask for it soon after. Step one was to gather up every adult piece of clothing that Jace wore, and have a nice big yard sale with them. the money was tucked away nice and next, and would be used not on booze or toy's, or anything like that. It went just right into Jace's diaper budget, with him going poopies at least 3 times a day, and diapers not being cheap. "This sucks! I should at least be able to get some toys!" Jace had argued. "well you can get a lot of toys, if we get you cloth diapers and plastic pants instead. but I'm not gonna be the one washing them or hanging them out to dry." Simon said as they sold the last of Jace's pants. the teenagers buying it had been laughing seeing Jace sitting there in a chair in just his diapers (with the weather being so nice and all) and laughed even more when they heard the argument. "But..but.I'm a baby! I don't do washing!" "and you don't get a say in what money is spent on. maybe if we'd been able to sell your undies we could of gotten you some action figures, but their just too skid marked and no one wants them, even at a nickle a pair." Jace huffed at that and in the end they did get rid of all 10 of Jace's undies, for 10 cents and they were sold to a blushing young man who couldn't stop looking at Jace. "Bet you he's gonna wear them all as like, a form of toddler pants." Simon said as the guy dashed off. "Pffft that's silly, who would do that?" Jace asked,. "oh, you'd be surprised."

The next part of Jace's permanent transformation was taking him out to load up his closet in Simon's home. that meant dozens of cute outfit and loads of diapers. Jace didn't mind the overalls or the shortalls, but the onsies were kinda squirmy to try on at the mall,m double so with the sales lady claiming that she needed 'extra help' and calling over all of the other clerks so Jace was basically putting on a little fashion show. Which only got worst when Kelly, the clerk they had started with, after hearing Simon jokingly complain about how often Jace needed a diaper change suggested that they try some dresses and skirts, They had already seen the poor big babies barbie diapers but Jace was NOT a happy camper as he then spent half a hour shaking his butt, and twirling in his short party dressed, mini skirts, and basically girl clothes that didn't do anything to fully hide his diapers. The fashion show thankfully ended when Jace in the middle of showing off a jean skirt with a fake plastic diamond heart on it off and popped a squat and destroyed the back of his diaper. Kelly hadn't let them get changed in there, though she had to hold a nose while ringing them though.

After a diaper change in the parking lot Jace and daddy had been on their way home when they heard a announcement on the radio about the father's day picnic in the park, opened to anyone and everyone. Jace despite having just gone poopie got a badddddd feeling in his tummy as he looked at daddy in the rear view mirror from his car seat. "Havvvve I ever mention how much I HATE the park?" Jace asked, gulping and squirming. "Oh Really? Maybe that's just because you haven't gone to the park with daddy, and been able to show everyone your cute widdle outfits." Simon said. "..You just want me blushy!" Jace whined and pouted, folding his arms and sulking. "Mmmhmmm, and DADDY gets what DADDY wants." Simon said. "Now who wants McDonald's?" "...I do but i'm not wearing a dress to the park!" Jace said. "We'll see~"

In the end Jace did win his campaign to not wear a dress or skirt to the park, mostly by pointing out that he'd just cry rape and beg for a adult if Simon tried. With Simon knowing the big baby well enough to know that wasn't a bluff, Jace was instead dressed in triple his normal thick bulky diapers, and in a light blue onesie with a teddy bear print all over it. (though to be fair, he'd given Jace a choice between the teddy bear themed Onesie or a white one, just the pink barbie diapers semi showed with the white one) a pair of white socks and Paw patrol light up sneakers were on his feet and a blue paci was in his mouth with a ribbon on it that was clipped to his shirt and his hair had been neatly brushed. One hand was in daddies as they walked into the park, getting stares and a few comments, and the other was hugging a Chase from paw patrol stuffie to his chest. With Jace being tripled diapered Daddy only brought along one change for the little guy, and it was in the picnic basket he carried in his free hand as they looked for a good spot to sit down. "See anywhere that looks nice little guy? or cat got your tongue?" Simon teased. Jace was sucking fast on his paci, quickly going crimson faced as the taunts came at them. "Awww that's so cute!" One girl said, pointing Jace out to her father. "What the hell.." Anther dad said. "Fucking fags. keep it indoors!" Called a big bearded biker dad. "Er..is this against the law?" A mother asked. "I KNEW YOU WERE LYING! THEY DO MAKE BIG KID DIAPERS!" one 5 year old huffed, yelling at his parents.

The 4 man band stared in shock and as Jace and Simon walked/waddled by them a strong smell of baby powder was in the air. two of the boys were fixated on how powerful and cool Simon looked, totally in control of the dumb big baby and wanted to experience a power rush like that,. The other two were biting their lips and squirming as they both focused on different parts of Jace's humiliation. "Whoa..L-Look at how massive those diapers are..t-they are diapers right?" Alex said, gulping. "No dork, he just has a massive butt. of course he's in diapers." Kevin chuckled. "T-That outfit.. oh man.." Jacob  chipped in. "Could you even picture wearing something like that? that would get a 3 year old teased!" "heh, your got that right. only a total bitch would let himself be dressed like that. or his daddy is just THAT freaking awesome he's making that blond bitch come out like that." Keith said with a grin, turning and noting the look on the twins faces. "heh, Jealous?" "NO!" both twins yelled out, their own faces going bright red and Kevin and Keith just exchanged grins.

Of course with his Vampire senses Simon knew what was happening and chuckled softly. 'I suppose I should feel bad corrupting the young and all that..buttt fuck it. I'm already a soulless blood drinker.' the vampire thought. "Don't look now but I think we just inspired two new big babies." Simon said in a low voice, then paused and waved a hair in front of his face, acting as if Jace had just let out a stink bomb though the blond baby was holding his poopies in. "Jace! did you go uh-oh already?" Simon asked loudly. Jace's blush couldn't get any worse, but the big baby shook his head no,but kept his paci in. "Mhmmm. likely story. I know you like to sit in it it." Simon said, again in a loud voice and drawing more attention to them as he rolled his eyes. "turn around for a bum check little man." Jace squirmed like crazy but knew better then to argue with daddy, and when he was this humiliated, he went into a whole new level of subby. turning around Jace looked at the group of boys who half of which were watching with grins, the other half with semi envy as Simon dropped down to one knee and patted Jace's butt a few time. "Hmmm I guess it was just gas. sorry for not believing you little guy." Simon said. he looked around and then opened up the basket and pulled out a checkered red and white blanket and spread it on the gas. "I know you wanted to sit at a table buddy, but with the extra diapies you begged to wear daddies worried you'll fall and go boom." Simon said, and ruffled Jace's hair even as the blond baby glared at him, then nodded and plopped on his massive rear. Simon was pulling out their lunches, some fried chicken with mashed potatoes for him, with a bottle of what he would tell anyone who asked was fruit punch but was some of Jace's blood, while pulling out 4 large jars of prune flavored baby food and a bottle of formula for Jace. "Is daddies little man hungry now, or wanna let daddy eat first then spoon him him?" Simon asked, and reached forward, lightly tugging on the paci and pulling it from the big babies mouth. "I um..I.." "Use your big boy words." Simon said, smirking. Jace, who had been about to anyways squirmed and just nodded his head. "I um.. Daddy can eat first." he said,using his baby voice anyways. "ok buddy. I know you wanna eat big kid food like daddy but we BOTH know it doesn't agree with you an-" Simon was cut off as the boys from before strolled over. "Hey Mister um.. if you don't mind, I can feed him" the brunette with the buzz cut said. "Oh, have you ever spoon fed a baby before?" Simon asked. "It's not as easy as it sounds, they can be little fuss buckets." Simon added, reaching forward and tickling Jace's chin making him giggle a little. "well no, But Me and Keith." and the brunette jerked a thumb to the long haired kid. "Figure we'll need the practice." he said, giving a toothy grin as the blond twin blushed and squirmed. "heh Oh?" "Kevin! Don't tell him that!" one of the blonds squeaked out. "W-we're not babies!" the other one added. "Alex, Jacob, Hush. big kids are talking." the one named Keith said and Simon chuckled. 'oh yeah, they're gonna be little naturals.' he thought.

Jace whined and mentally begged Simon not to let the kids spoon feed him, but if anything the chance to pass on his knowledge made Simon even MORE teasing, which was something Jace didn't think was possible. Simon showed the boys how to tie a bib around the babies neck, explaining how important it was to use a good enough knot it wouldn't come off, but not so good you had to cut it loose after. "If I had brought some of his extra bibs, you could of practiced with your little guys." Simon smirked. Jace's heart went out for the blonds as they paled a little at that, and they seem to be trying to decide whether to run or stick around. "It's ok. I think their dad would be mad if they came back wearing a teddy bear bib anyways." Keith said. "they again maybe not. you know he's always saying what messy eaters they are." Kevin added. "Guysssss!" the twins whined in unison and pouted. "ok, that was cute. Now if Jace isn't a total little piggy like he normally is." Simon said and Jace whined at that, and pouted much like the twins were. "And there's any baby food left, you can split whats left between your little guys there, and they can take turns with the bib." "What!?" Alex yelped. "No way!" Jacob added. "Sounds good." Kevin and Alex said in unison. As Jace locked eyes with the twins, they gave him a pleading look and despite knowing just how bloated and gassy he'd get, Jace knew he had to take a bullet for them. 'god I'm gonna be farting like crazy!' Jace groaned. it didn't help he already had 5 pieces of high fiber toast that had been coated in apples and banana flavored baby food for breakfast and a big bottle on top of that. No two was about it, before they left the park Jace was gonna be filling his diapers. "Now you wanna get a fair amount, but not too much on the spoon." Simon was saying, snapping Jace out of his thoughts about his impending boom butt. "Jace here is a bigger boy so he can take more, but every baby really has a different amount." Jace looked at the heaping piled Kevin had on the spoon, and looked over to Simon, silently pleading with daddy to at least get the amount cut down, but Simon just winked and took a bite out of a chicken leg. "I know what to do next. Seen this enough on TV." Kevin said and then switching to a baby talk voice voice added. "Here comes the airplane~ Open widddde!"

Simon almost choked on his chicken as Kevin talked, he knew how much Jace HATED that bit and was nice enough to spare him that much. He flashed the big baby a look that said 'play nice' and Jace like a good big baby opened his mouth as big as he could. Sadly (or was that amusingly?) with the heap of mush on the spoon, there was no way it was going to fit all in Jace's mouth and purple mush dribbled down his chin. "oh crud uh.." Kevin looked over his shoulder to Simon, as Jace closed his mouth and swallowed what had made it in, and made a little face. "use the spoon and get what you can off of his chin and into his mouth." Simon instructed, taking a sip  of his drink. "Oh ok!" Kevin said. It took awhile for the boy to get his rhythm down but soon he was stuffing Jace's face like a pro even as Jace started to burp now and then, which made Kevin make a face. "you think that's bad, wait till it comes out the other end." Simon commented. "why don't you boys switch so Keith can get a turn in. and Alex, Jacob..My little guys looking awfully full already, hope your hungry." The twins shared a whimper and were holding each others hands, though Simon noted they didn't try and run for their dad. either they didn't think they could outrun their daddies to be, or while they were scared and nervous, they on some level wanted to be Jace and were rooted to the spot. Either way, Simon had a hunch next time he saw them they'd be sporting diapers. Keith took a different approach to feeding Jace and it didn't take long to figure it out. The Brown haired boy was a tormentor, plain and simple and it showed as he kept missing Jace's mouth on purpose and smudging the food on Jace's cheeks, and would scold him for it. "No no no you silly big baby! Stay still! it's like you wanna wear your din din!" Keith teased and Jace whined loudly and looked to Simon for help. Simon pretended to be interested in a game of soccer that was going on near by instead. "I think your baby is full mister. he just doesn't wanna eat anymore." Keith said, looking at Simon then over at the blonds. "N-No! I hungee!" Jace cried out, and Kieth pouted a little. "I think he's just fussy because he wants daddy to feed him. you boys have been a big help but I better take over." Simon said, he was finished eating anyways. "besides, any second now the fart factory is gonna-" Simon was cut off as a massively long and loud despite the padding fart filled the air and the boys went from laughing to holding their noses. "Yeahhh that." Simon chuckled. "Side effect of the baby food." "Oh god, it's like ten million farts in one!" Keith gagged. "Or worse!" Kevin added. Adorably the twin's only commented on it by saying stinky, though there eyes were watering too. "Is that what they'll smell like if they eat that?" Kevin asked, waving a hand in front of his face but jerking a thumb at the twins. "Pretty much. I'd go with oatmeal if you want them not as rotten." Simon suggested. "Should I take that to mean you don't want one of the remaining jars?" "Uh..I mean..it's a really generous offer..But..we all drove over here together and.." Kevin started "We'll all die in the car if the twins are ripping out back door bombs like that!" Keith finished. "W-we wouldn't be that bad!" Alex huffed and crossed his arms, Jacob following suite and adding "Yeah!" "...Wait..do you dorks WANNA eat baby food?" Keith asked, seemingly forgetting about the stink in the air as he grinned. The twin's seemed to realized that had just tried to argue in favor of it and Alex covered his mouth while Jacob shook his head. "NO!" "looks like you boys have some things to figure out. Thanks for feeding the baby." Simon said and took a couple of 20's out of his wallet and handed one to each boy. they went to say thank you but anther back door bomb ripped out of Jace's backside and they took off running instead. "Cute kids. gonna have to get used to stinkers though if they wanna be be daddies." Simon commented, then turned his attention back to Jace who let out a burp. "then again..subjecting them to your funk when they're just starting is like teaching someone to swim by tossing them in shark infested waters." "DADDY!"

With the rest of the baby food in Jace and his ba-ba, the poor baby had a bloated tummy and was pooting up a storm. Simon had been forced to take the onise off of him with his big Jace's tummy tum had gotten and had tickled his sides till Jace wet himself. In just his socks and shoes and Barbie diapers, Jace was getting lots of attention though no one came too close, his poots were like a fog horn warning people to keep their distance. "you know, I was hoping to help you make some friends today but your butt is scaring them all away stinker." Simon teased. "I sowwy." Jace whined, rubbing a eye. After a month of training Jace was conditioned to get sleepy after a big meal. "well we'll go play in the sandbox for a little bit, then go home ok buddy?" "But sweepy daddy." Jace whined, eyes drooping and nuzzling into Simon. "Already? are you sure you don't wanna play on the slide or the swings or something like a big kid?" Simon asked, smirking. "No Big -yawn- kid. Just Jace. sweepy." The blond baby said, almost stumbling now and so Simon stopped and picked him up, setting his head on his shoulder and a arm under his butt, carrying the basket and Chase was tucked inside. "I guess we can go home. I hope you had fun today buddy." Simon said and kissed the big babies cheek, then whispered. "Because we'll be coming here a lot more often." "Ngggh.. yesh..daddy." Jace mumbled, and then drifted off to sleep, even as a series of wet farts erupted from his back side and the back of the babies diapers bloomed out. "oh I see. go sleepies and leave me stuck with changing you. really nice." Simon teased but as he headed for the car he had to admit, he didn't really mind. He was tempted to stop and change Jace on a table, but then spotted a older looking couple talking to a police officer and pointing over at them, and decided that could wait for anther day and not to give the cop a reason to hassle them.. as long as Jace's diapers stayed on he wasn't naked in public. Thankfully the cop seemed to agree as they weren't hassled on their way to the car, though before he went to put Jace in his car seat, Simon was treated to one last cute site. Kevin and Keith chasing the twins, holding onto a couple of towels each and having safety pins. 'Damn. now I really wish I could stay.' Simon thought and chuckled. there was always next weekend.

The end, fer now

[tintinwrites]

How to Cope When You Would Rather Panic by Your Friendly OCD Idiot

I try to keep most of my posts away from the subject of the current state of the world for my sake and for the sake of everyone else, but let’s try honesty: we are freaking out. Whether we have a mental illness like OCD or anxiety that makes everything seem ten times worse on a normal day, or we’re usually fine and are simply worried about this situation at hand, most of us are in the boat of constant dread and fear.

As someone with this altered brain of mine who was one of the ones panicking on a normal day, here are my tips to not go crazy especially if you’re in self-isolation bc your work or school closed and it’s giving you too much time to think.

1. Stop Looking at the News Too Much

It’s important to stay informed on things to know what’s going on and to be aware of things you might need to know, but if you’re purposely going on news sites to obsessively check for any updates: STOP. Any news that is very important for you to know will more than likely be BREAKING NEWS which you will see on almost any website you visit, therefore you don’t need to go on any news sites multiple times every day if it’s making you worry more (most updates aren’t going to personally be important to you anyway!)

2. Watch Something You Enjoy That’s Never Sad

If your mind is already panicking or depressed, watching something sad is only going to fuel those unpleasant emotions. Watch a funny show or Youtube videos that never have a sad moment.

If something in particular comes to mind for you then go ahead, but here are my suggestions if not...

Suggested TV Shows: I Love Lucy, Father Ted, The Office (skip some episodes maybe), A League of Gentlemen

Suggested Youtubers: Call Me Kevin, LaurenzSide

3. Meditate

You don’t have to be spiritual to meditate. Meditation is as simple as focusing on your inhales and exhales and when your mind drifts (which it will) acknowledging it then bringing yourself back to your breathing. It’s surprisingly calming. Focusing on your breathing keeps your mind from racing with all your silly thoughts.

4. Immerse Yourself in Something

Read a book or even fanfiction. It’s impossible to panic when you’re in a world like Jane Austen’s or where Poe Dameron or Din Djarin are with you.  Whatever you liked reading the most. You wanna read Poe or Din railing you? Go for it! Cuddling you? Absolutely!

5. Play a Game

Video game, board game, maybe a card game, heck I was having fun on girlsgogames.com a couple days ago playing a dolphin show game don’t look at me.

6. Try Out Your Hobbies or New Ones

Writing, drawing, singing, knitting. It’s understandable if you’re not in the right mindset to do them, but now is the best time to focus on them if you can! Also a good time to do something new you’ve been meaning to try out! I might try out the soapmaking kit I have...

7. Sing a Song

Sing loud. Sing off-key. Sing the wrong words. Sing even if you know for sure that you can’t sing for anything. It’s such a freeing thing to do. And there are songs that can calm you!

Try I Whistle a Happy Tune from The King and I or Try to Remember from The Fantasticks.

8. Look at the Good

The world is sort of healing itself now that we’re not constantly running around doing things! The Venice canals are clear for the first time in a long time! This is the news you should be reading! How beautiful the earth is doing right now!

9. Talk to Someone

Maybe you’re alone in your home or maybe you can’t talk to the people you’re with. Text a friend or you can even message me if you need someone to distract you from all those thoughts of panic in your head.

10. Drink Some Water and Eat Favorite Snacks

Eat that doughnut, sweetie. Now is the time to indulge in that comfort food. And drink some water!! Water is good for your body and your brain.

11. Understand That Everything Is Going to be Okay

This isn’t the first thing the world has ever been through. We’ve been through horrific wars and moments in history we never thought we would make it out of (things very similar to here and now!). And here we are. Here we are. It’s okay to be scared of what’s happening, but one day it will be summer and we will be soaking up life like we never have before. Hold onto that thought. Being aware and proactive helps us, panicking however does not. Even if you have to distract yourself until all this is over, do it.

Believe me, I’m panicking enough for us all. But we must do our best to believe that things are going to work out even when it doesn’t seem like it.

Hope is like the sun; if you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night. Keep hoping.

[thesuitelifeofjughead]

Riverdale Rewatch Review - Season One

Hey guys! So, as everyone knows, there’s like, this big thing happening in the world right now causing everyone to have to stay inside and a lot of people have way more free time on their hands than they know what to do with. I am one of those people. After I finish my schoolwork I find that barely even half a day has passed. What do I fill that time with? Animal Crossing. But also, watching Netflix. 

I’ve wanted to rewatch Riverdale for the longest time, and I figure that now is the best time to do it. 

So, the way this will work, I’ll give my overall thoughts and review of the season, my favorite episodes, and then I’m going to give you a play-by-play of my thoughts while rewatching each episode under the break. So, without further ado:

Overall Review

Looking at the bigger picture of everything I know Riverdale has come to be, I think the statement stands true that Season One is one of their strongest season, if not their actual strongest (Season Four has been climbing up there for me in fav seasons). 

Watching it all together, the drama seemed evenly paced, and everyone seemed to get the same amount of screen time, including characters we barely see anymore like Kevin and Reggie. There are some interesting shots, and I found myself jammin to some of the songs they had the characters sing as well as the background music. 

It was clear that they had a plan, and they knew where they were going. Hints of relationships happened WAY before they became official, and it seemed like everyone was on the same page, which is difficult to say for later seasons (which I will also be making reviews on shortly). 

For only having 13 episodes, Riverdale did an excellent job in it’s first season hooking everyone in to the drama and the mystery, including me. I believe it was after the second or third episode when this blog was created, and I’ve been here ever since. This season is responsible for why a lot of fans stuck around, and for why a lot of fans left. 

Overall, I would say it had amazing storytelling, character development, cinematic techniques, and everything else you could think of. My final rating would be a 10/10. Even if you don’t like later seasons, you can’t deny this one was really good, and had a lot of classic Riverdale moments -insert gif of Jughead saying “I’m a weirdo” here bc I tried to find it but couldn’t-. 

My personal favorite episodes: Episode 6, Episode 10, Episode 13

Rewatch Thoughts

Episode 1: 

It’s so clear right from the start that Veronica likes Archie oh my god

I love Betty Cooper dance parties and I want more of them

Wow I hate Alice from the very beginning

Fred Andrews was the best parent on Riverdale from the very beginning. Period.

Maybe the show is more consistent than I thought. Archie was dumb since season one episode one for lying to his dad. 

Veronica was so supportive of Betty and Archie we stan a supportive friend

Oh my god did we all collectively forget that Archie dated a freaking TEACHER?!

JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS MY HEART I love and miss them 

Jughead was such a broody lil boy wasn’t he oh my gosh Betty really did change him for the better didn’t she

“Whatever happened with Betty, just talk to her. It’ll go a long way” We stan a king who wants open communication from the beginning yas Jughead

Episode Rating: 8/10

Episode 2: 

God, the teacher is so manipulative

Oh god i’m gonna have to relive the dark Betty arc aren’t I

This rewatch is just gonna further my love for Jughead. He was the smartest one since day one

WAIT i completely forgot they changed Reggie’s actor oh my goodness

Episode Rating: 5/10

Episode 3: 

there was a mention of Greendale in the VERY FIRST SEASON 

The only good thing Penelope Blossom ever did was punch Alice Cooper and that’s that on that

I love the early journalism relationship between Betty and Jughead

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 4:

Ya’ll I miss jughead narrating at the beginning and end of every episode

THE TWILIGHT DRIVE IN. I MADE SO MANY FANFICTIONS SET THERE AWH

Jug was so upset over the drive in my HEART. Jughead had a JOB. Am I the only one who forgot that? 

He called her Betts and she called him Juggy their already in a relationship let’s face it. 

“It’s like my home” AWH JUG IT WAS HIS HOME MY HEART

Ya’ll remember how INSANE the reveal of Jughead’s dad was?

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 5:

Why would he have to run away from mommy and daddy? BECAUSE DADDY DID IT JUG YOURE SO SMART

Everyone was so SHADY in season one 

THE FREAKING SNAKE IN THE BOX

This was the episode with Jughead’s stupid cute smile in his stupid cute hat and stupid cute tux my heart

Remember when Fred and Hermione had that thing? Yeah me neither I hate it

Episode Rating: 8/10

Episode 6:

Wow makes sense that Polly joined a cult, she’s so fragile from everything that’s happened to her 

I love the early music in this show

Betty straight up asks Hal if he killed Jason Blossom. OMG Alice goes “You think he has the stomach or that?” UHM hate to break it to ya but your dad is,,, oof

ITS THE HEY JULIET EPISODE AWH

WAIT THAT MEANS

The little “also” and his voice cracks I’m

FIRST BUGHEAD KISS FIRST BUGHEAD KISS

“In the middle of our moment” ICONIC

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 7:

the episode in which we find out Jughead is living in the school

“Don’t tell Betty” they’re already so in love I swear

Jughead walking Betty home is literally the softest thing

The farm was a part of the plot from SEASON ONE oh my god

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 8:

I’m p sure this is just a filler episode

Oh wait it’s the reveal to Archie and Fred that FP is a serpent

WAIT ITS THE BABY SHOWER SCENE

“It’s totally on my bucket list” we don’t deserve Jughead

the LOOKS Archie got when he walked into that baby shower

Can you believe how normal it became to be a part of the serpents? And in the beginning it was such a big deal? Like Arch, hate to break it to you, you become an honorary serpent one day

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 9:

Riverdale season one really be hitting different. It’s so,, innocent lol, and that’s sayin something 

The Blossoms are a cult all their own I’m just sayin

“That was a joke, you hobo” ICONIC

Otherwise known as the episode where Alice throws a rock at a window

The parents really do be acting like teenagers tho

ALSO known as the episode where Veronica rips of her pearls

YOOO remember when Cheryl kissed Archie? That was a moment

Episode Rating: 9/10

Episode 10:

oh my god this is the birthday episode isn’t it

OH NO

lmao Ronnie was Tik Tok dancing before it was cool huh

The movie part of the party was so pure awh

oh god the creepy birthday song

i hate it

I HATE ITTTT

Cheryl arrives to mess shit UP

We love that Bughead took this as a learning experience and Jughead has never had a birthday party since

“In CaSe YoU HaVeN’t NoTiCEd, I’m WeiRd. I’m A weiRDo. I DoN’t FiT iN aNd I DoN’t WaNnA FiT in. HAvE YoU eVeR SeeN mE WiThOuT ThiS HaT oN? THAT’S WEIRD.”

Jughead was so opposed to letting her in my heart

Just let her love you Jug

Dilton’s actor also changed and we just,, let it slide? oof my guys

THE PUNCH. he DEFENDS his WOMAN

the first sign of FP bein a good dad, telling Jughead not to run away from Betty. We stan a father who’s basically responsible for Bughead.

The reveal that Alice lived on the south side was also in this episode. 

THE FIRST TIME JUG TOOK OFF HIS BEANIE

their first heart to heart ya’ll I love them

This is the softest scene point blank period

When I said I hated it before? Yeah I lied I love this episode

The episode where Archie and Ronnie also officially got togther kinda?? Wow so much happened this episode

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 11:

Hail our fair RIVERDALLEEEE

YOOO you remember when FP literally was an accomplice to MURDER and then they let him become sheriff? Man, what a time

Ya’ll why did they hurt Jughead so much in the first season my heart

Yo THIS is why they have such good communication in later seasons

he’s being FRAMED

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 12:

oh my goodness the tollbooth scene 

OW

The second time his beanie is off

he looks so SAD ouch

He just stood there and TOOK Cheryl’s punches someone save my poor boy

THE REVEAL THAT THE BLOSSOMS AND COOPERS ARE RELATED AH

They watched the videooooo

Episode Rating: 9/10

Episode 13:

The camera work around this table is really interesting. It’s literally circling them at the lunch table. SPEAKING OF LUNCH TABLES, why haven’t we seen them eating lunch at school for like two seasons lol 

“I’m with Jughead now”

God Penelope Blossom is so melodramatic

Can i just say thank GOD Fred never sold Andrew’s Construction

Oh my god the locker scene. The way he cups her cheek and takes her away

Jughead going to South Side High without telling anyone I’m

Cheryl on the ice

Remember when KJ literally broke his arm bc of the dedication to this scene

BURN THE HOUSE TO THE GROUND

the I love you scene my hEART

His beanie is off and the way he says I love you I”M CRYING

Oh god this song

I made so many fanfictions about this freaking scene with the jacket I’m

We all thought it was so BAD to be a serpent and yet they all literally become one over the next two seasons I’m. the fandom had NO IDEA

“Juggy”

The looks they give each other I’m laughing

Cheryl starring into the FLAMES

OH MY GOD WAIT THIS CLIFFHANGER IS SO MUCH MORE SAD NOW NOOOOO. This didn’t age well I’m.

HE SHOOK HIS HEAD HE WAS PROTECTING ARCHIE

But also,, Black Hood Intro? Oof.

Episode Rating: 10/10

-

If you got this far, thank you for reading my rambles! Season Two rewatch is up next!

[crazy-bi-btch]

Heathers : The Musical                     ( Riverdale Fic ) Part l

Summary: (Part l) Vanessa is trying to get over a boy that seems she can’t escape. Auditioning for Veronica Sawyer was probably a bittersweet move.

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Lodge! OC

Warning: angst, musical scenes, smut (future parts), cursing, drug use ( future parts)

A/N: SOOO I’ve had this plot in my head for so long ever since the musical episode. I hope y’all like it show some love to my other works also :) YES I PUT IN MUSICAL SCENES DON’T KILL ME OK BYEEE

~  

   I ran into school my leather jacket clinging to my wet body from the rain. I sighed as I pushed through the moody students of Riverdale high. I hate my life.

“ Get away serpent slut!” A River Vixen screeched as I bumped into her. She looked at me in disgust. I flipped her off, I would cuss her out but I was already late, missing 1st period again. 

 “ Watch it!” A football player yelled as I accidentally stepped on him. 

“ Fuck off.” I mumbled and made my way to the end of the hallway.

As I got closer towards the end of the hall I was faced with the school news and clubs bulletin board. My friends were lined up, they seemed to be signing something. Betty pries at Jugs arm almost pleading for him to sign it. Once I got closer they started chatting on the side.

“ Hey guys.” I commented just for courtesy but mostly just wanting to find out what this sign up was for.

“ Hey- woah, you’re really wet!” Veronica cried as she made her way towards me my wet hair instantly her hands. “ I’m fine.” I sighed, she shook her head in disapproval. It took her a minute to realize why I was staring at the bulletin board. 

“ You’re gonna audition?” She asked a hint of excitement in her tone. Then my eyes landed on the bold red letters

Heathers : The Musical

Holy shit

The pen that was once  hanging on the yarn was instantly in my hand, and writing my name next to the 2pm audition slot. Right blow me was none other than of course for, my luck, Sweet pea. 

“ Who would’ve known Vanessa, a theater kid?’” Jug and Veronica laughed, I rolled my eyes at them.

“ Give me a break guys, I need to do something fun, you know after-” Jug coughed as he realized where my response was going. You were going through a rough time. You were told by your sister Ronnie to “loosen up” and that there were more fish in the sea or whatever. So that’s what you were trying to do. Hopefully this musical will distract me.

“ Yeah, you’ll do great!” Betty cheered with a big smile. I smiled back at her, and sighed.” Well I hope I don’t embarrass myself instead of getting the part.”

“ Well I do know someone that could help you out if you really want to ace this.” Both V and B looked at each other. Jug and me were so lost, but then they were leading me towards the one and only Cheryl blossom. The mythic bitch.

 She was already in character, Heather Chandler of course.

“ Well Cheryl, I see your all set and ready for this musical.” Veronica teased as we startled her. She narrowed her eyes at us.

“ Cousin. Ronnie. Newbie Serpents.” I scoffed at my nickname. Cheryl was a cold bitch when she wanted but also she could be the sweetest person on planet earth. She could kill for someone that she loved. As also kill someone that hurts her in any way or shape possible. That’s just a Blossom thing I guess. “ What brings you to ruin my peaceful moment.”

“ Cheryl you were admiring yourself in a small locker mirror in a school full of dickwads. Opposite of peaceful.” I explained sarcastically, she glared at me, she fixed her bow before stepping closer to me. I gulped.

“ Don’t try me Ronnie 2.0” 

“ Cheryl!” Ronnie and Betty growled in annoyance. I got up to her level and stared back into her hazel cold eyes.

“ Cheryl I’m not here to fight. I’m here for help. The musical.” She smiled her white pearly whites practically blinding me  from the contrast from her cherry red lipstick. “ Please.” I spoke softly.

“ Well you’ve come to the right person, I mean I am Heather, I made myself Heather Chandler because who else,” She spoke delighted, “ I made Kevin agree, and your auditioning for?”

I sighed, blinking a couple times, I felt Betty’s eyes on me  also my sisters Ronnie . My cheeks flushed slightly. “ The role...of Veronica…” I mumbled, she rolled her eyes.

“ Clearly I should’ve seen it coming, See me after 2nd period in the music room we can practice their, now if you excuse me I’m going to look for my Titi.” Cheryl flashed one more bright smile before she spun around and pranced to look for her girlfriend. I groaned, mentally face palming myself for having Cheryl as my mentor. How did I agree to this?

“ Hey you’ll do great. Cheryl is good remember Carrie! You’re in good hands!” Ronnie held me in a hug trying to comfort me. Betty joined in on the hug also. Yeah I remember Carrie, who doesn’t a girl ended up dead on stage!

“ Just remember to not get on her ugly side you know how she gets.” The 3 of us laughed and slowly made our way to our second period class. 

-

I sat on the bench in the music room watching as Cheryl paced.

“ Beautiful? Out of all the songs; the opener?!” She hysterically cries, I knew she was being dramatic but it was putting me on edge. I had exactly 3 hours to practice. Yes I am skipping my classes I would much rather focus on this than anything else. ( stay in school kids and don’t ditch!!) 

She took a deep breath and exhaled and handed me a sheet of lyrics.

“ Show me what you got.” I stood up straight and began singing, some of the words off key. I was freaking scared. My voice shook , and my knees weak.

Cheryl closed her eyes and put her hands up. “ Stop.” She held my shoulders and looked into my insecure ones.

“ Vanessa, you know what screw it- Your Veronica. Feel it! Embrace it! Get in the Veronica mindset.” She cheered, I look a deep breath and remembered back to my favorite movie. “ Now Veronica let’s give you some inspiration shall we?” She taunted with a playful grin. I shot a confused look at her, when she started to pull me out into the empty hallway.

“ Now what do you see Veronica?” She asked her arms crossed, I stared at the empty hallways, the clock on the ends of the hallways ticking away, the blue lockers. 

“ A high school hallway, which is empty and it stinks.” I complained. She smirked.

“ Exactly, but empty? Try again.” Just on cue the bell rang to signal class was over. “ Now let's try this again.” She strutted towards the crowd signaling for me to start. 

“We were so tiny, happy and shiny

Playing tag and getting chased” I sang rubbing my elbow as tried following Cheryl.

“Freak! Slut! Loser! Short bus!” The kids in the crowd yelled at me, making me flinch.

“ Singing and clapping, laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome.” I sang back at the angry kids, Cheryl closely watching as she leaned against the lockers.

“ Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school

This is the Thunder-dome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon 

 College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful, “ I was shoved by a group of hippies and their I was looking right at Sweet pea making his way my way as he talked with Fangs. I gulped, and glanced at Cheryl who motioned me to keep going. So I sang louder,

“ I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then, we could change again

We can be beautiful… “ Suddenly everyone was staring but I kept going

“ Things will get better soon as my letter

Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Wake from this coma, take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!” Ronnie my sister came from the crowd and sang with me swaying softly.

“ Dear diary:” I started and then some miserable kids joined in 

Why....

Why do they hate me?

Why don’t I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

Why…

Why won’t he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

Why…

Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!” We all chanted, a huge smile on my face as I saw the reactions from my peers.

“ I love Heather, Heather, and Heather.” Betty and Ronnie and Cheryl leaned on the lockers singing softly.

“ And ya know, ya know, ya know?

This could be beautiful “ Cheryl sang as she touched my face as if examining it

“ Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush;

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful” Cheryl pulled me into the girls restroom with the girls.

“ Here you go I had taken the liberty to ask Titi for her audition custom to be donated to you since she did plan to be Veronica but you have shown potential.” She complimented handing me some clothing.

“ Now hurry!” I scurried to put the white plaid short shirt, the black long sleeve crop top and shiny black heels.

“Let's make her beautiful...

Let's make her beautiful...

Make her beautiful…” Betty and Ronnie sang softly as they fixed my hair out of a ponytail and into my  natural soft curls.

“Okay!” I sang as we made our way out and towards the auditorium.

Just as they walked out Sweet Pea and Fangs where trying to see what was going on with the whole crowd when they were also being shoved around

“Out of my way, geek!” Sweet pea sang as some nerd got in his way.

“You're gonna die at 3pm! “ Fangs sang angrily at some random dude

“Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!” A River Vixen spat at Fangs as he tried flirting with her.

“What did I ever do to her?” Fangs scoffed at Sweet pea in annoyance

We walked into the auditorium where Kevin had just finished a group of people for ensemble, along with some people of the gang sat on the chair waiting for their turn to audition.

“Who's that with Heather?” Toni sang making everyone turn around.

“ Heather, Heather, Heather...And someone!

Heather, Heather, Heather...

Veronica? Veronica? Veronica!” Reggie and Archie sang as they practically dropped their music sheets.

I ran straight up the stairs to face them as the lights from above beamed around me hugging me perfectly as I sang. Narrowing my eyes as I saw Kevin smile up at me.

“And you know, you know, you know

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray

And you get your way!” I pointed dramatically at the sky as I held my chest. And once again my eyes found Sweet pea’s. He sat at the last row of the auditorium. A smug look on his face as his fingers held his chin as he watched me sing

“Ask me how it feels

Lookin' like hell on wheels...

My God, it's beautiful!

I might be beautiful...

And when you're beautiful...

It's a beautiful frickin' day!” I belted out the last note, tears on the brim of my eyes in exhaustion and lack of oxygen. Next thing I heard beside the music ending, was clapping and yelling. I heaved softly and smiled at Kevin who could not stop smiling.

“ So..how did I do?” I asked shyly, Kevin shook his head in awe.

“ Your just who we were looking for Vanessa. WE FOUND OUR VERONICA!” He cheered, making me squeal in delight. I made my to my Heathers (Betty, Ronnie and Cheryl).

“ See, I told you!” Ronnie hugged me tightly as she spoke. Cheryl nodded along.

“ I underestimated you V you are talented, but you’ll grow on me.” She teased,” But I will enjoy degrading you up on stage.” She glared and sat towards the other side where Toni sat. I chuckled softly ignoring her comment, I was too excited to let her bring me down.

 Betty held my hand in hers “ I’m so glad your in! Not to ruin your moment but you had an admirer.” She glanced towards the back of us where Sweet pea and Fangs sat. He caught my not so slick stare and waved teasingly his rings shining slightly as he moved them. The disgustingly handsome smirk on his face. Fangs whispering and laughing to him about us. I groaned and sat down in the chair.

“ Hey don’t let him get to you! Remember?” Ronnie reminded me. I nodded rubbing my temples in frustration.

“ Your stronger than him.”

“ Sweet Pea?” Kevin read out loud making me physically cringe. He walked up stage his flannel wrapped around his torso, his ripped jeans hanging low as his tight leather jacket fit him like a glove.

Sweet Pea in this audition confused me. He never seems to be a musical kid or an actor at all. He told me the theater kids were geeks and lame, so him being up on the stage seemed almost like a big fat lie to my face. Another reason why he never to our relationship serious.

“ Sweet Pea what song will you sing for us today?”

“ I was thinking about Dream on by Aerosmith. Of course with the help of my friend Fangs if that’s okay?” He stated twisting his rings, and fangs shortly ran up next to him, both of them exchanging some cliche handshake.

“ Okay show us what you got guys.” Kevin hesitantly stated. My head pounded in angry watching him be up their on the stage. If he nails this song, I will be stuck with him for the remainder of this musical.

God please end this.

      to be continued.........

[hookedontaronfics]

First Contact series - Part 8

Title: First Contact - Part 8 Read the previous installments here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Mild smut A/N: Vacationing with Taron in Dubrovnik feels like just a dream for Jess. But when Taron starts sharing real feelings, will Jess be able to reciprocate? This chapter contains adult themes, so turn back now if you’re not prepared to read it. You’ve been warned! Enjoy! x

Welcome to Dubrovnik, love.

It wasn’t just what Taron said that thrilled me, it was the way he said it too. When his voice dropped low, there was something incredibly sexy about it, and I wasn’t immune to the effect it had on people. I couldn’t help but squeal to myself a bit while Taron hugged me cutely from behind, very happy to be there with me. I don’t think I was ever going to get over that fact, that I was the reason for the smile on his face now.

As much as I wanted to admire both the view in front of me and the one behind me, my stomach growled rather loudly and I knew I needed to eat soon or I’d start feeling faint. Taron, of course, heard the noises and chuckled.

“Do we need to get you something to eat?” 

“I’m positively starving. All I’ve had so far today has been a protein bar, a handful of airline pretzels and coffee,” I said, thinking about it for a moment. “Yep, that’s it.”

“What, that’s hardly enough, love,” Taron said, looking concerned for a moment.

“Nerves have been bad, but I’m here now so I think I can eat!” I grinned. “What about you, aren’t you hungry too?” I asked, turning around in his arms and poking his stomach, which in all actuality was quite firm.

“I am always up for food, no question,” Taron smirked lightly.

“Somehow that surprises me!” I laughed, as we finally went back inside the suite. I poked about a bit more, checking out the incredibly luxurious bathroom as well. Oh, it definitely had a jacuzzi tub in it, and I had to keep my thoughts from straying somewhere they shouldn’t.

“My diet is absolute crap, much to my agent and everyone else’s disappointment,” Taron giggled. “And when I don’t have to be fit, I’m usually not.”

“Well I will take you any way you are,” I grinned, wrapping my arms around him and reaching up to steal a kiss or three. “So where are you taking me?” I grinned.

Taron had been scrolling through his phone, I presume to find an appetizing place to eat, and raised his eyebrow at me cutely. “I think we’ll go to Azure first. I had them once and the food was amazing,” he grinned.

“Anything, at this point, sounds amazing,” I laughed.

“This place is on the edge of the Old Town, so we can meander through that once we’re done eating. I think you’ll love it,” Taron said, cutely excited as we left our luggage behind in the room and went out to eat and explore.

The weather could not have been more perfect. It was a little warm, sure, but with the constant breeze off the coast it seemed bearable, and I enjoyed the feel of the sun on my skin. We ended up getting an Uber to drop us off at the Old City gates and walked the rest of the way in to the restaurant so I could gape in awe at the gorgeous place again.

“I can’t believe you spent weeks filming here, that must have felt so lucky. It’s incredible,” I said enthusiastically, swinging Taron’s hand in mine between us as we walked. We made it to the restaurant, a mix of Asian fusion and Mediterranean influences, and it was difficult to choose. I wanted to try so many things. We ended up sharing the wasabi salmon pouches and I ordered the meatballs in coconut curry sauce, but of course I had to steal bites of Taron’s swordfish in black curry sauce. It was all delicious, and we left the restaurant feeling absolutely stuffed.

We walked about the old town streets, poking in shops and stalls tucked into alleys, just enjoying being leisurely together until jet lag started to catch up to us both. “Ready to head back to the hotel and just relax?” Taron asked me sweetly, noticing my energy flagging.

“I think that’d be a good idea, much as I’d love to keep walking,” I smiled.

“We’ll feel so much more refreshed tomorrow, I’m sure. But being lazy right now sounds like a good plan,” he grinned. We returned to our hotel and cuddled up on the couch together, surfing through the English channels on the telly to find something to watch. I must have dozed off because the sun was low in the sky when I came to, nestled against Taron’s chest. He stirred slightly when he felt me sit up and cracked his eyes open. “Get some rest?” he asked me gently, and I nodded, yawning a bit and having a stretch.

“Hopefully you weren’t trapped for too long,” I smiled as he ruffled my hair cutely.

“I dozed myself,” he grinned. “But I am a bit hungry again,” he laughed, and I couldn’t help smiling over that. Eating and sleeping and not doing much else sounded like the perfect kind of vacation to me. We ended up walking just down the street to Magellan, sharing sweetbread and enjoying our pasta courses and some wine. Either I was a total lightweight, or Croatia’s wines were strong, because I was definitely feeling it by the time we paid our tab and left.

“We should go down to the water!” I suggested with a giggle, Taron putting his arm around my shoulders to keep me steady as I had been weaving a bit on the sidewalk.

“We can do that,” Taron replied with an amused grin. We went down to the pebble beach access from the hotel’s lift, greeted by the gentle sound of waves lapping at the shore. The beach was already cast in shadows at that point but it helped ease the heat of the day and we walked along the shoreline in contented peace, passing a few other couples but no one bothering us at all. We truly are just like any other couple, I thought, giggling to myself. 

“This feels so perfect,” I said sweetly, leaning my head against Taron’s shoulder as we stood gazing out at the waves. “I can’t believe you brought me here, that I’m with you, that this feels so much better than I knew it could be to be with someone.”

“You ought to start believing it, Jess,” he said, tipping my chin up to look him in the eyes, before caressing my cheeks gently. “I find it hard to believe that no one ever tried to do these things for you. I just don’t find it difficult to treat a woman the way she deserves to be treated.”

“I think it’s hard to know what you deserve when you’ve been treated like an unwanted accident your entire life,” I replied, maybe more harshly than I had meant, but Taron didn’t seem phased by my tone. If anything, he looked heartbroken for me. “And when you grow up not knowing what you deserve, not knowing that love should be something inherent and not earned, you end up with wildly bad taste in men,” I rambled on.

“Well I’m here to show you what you deserve, Jess,” Taron said slowly. “All of this,” he replied, sweeping his arm outward, “and so much more. You deserve someone who truly sees you, who doesn’t judge you for your struggles, who knows how precious you are.” I teared up slightly at that, unable to control it because it was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. He brushed the tears off my cheeks and hugged me to him tightly; I felt at once safe and comforted in his arms. “You need to heal, from everything you’ve been through that has torn you down. I promise to help in any way I can.”

“Thank you, Taron,” I sniffled slightly, trying not to full-on cry.

“You don’t need to thank me for doing what someone else should have done a long time ago. Knowing what I know now, I’m incredibly lucky that you let me in at all,” he said gently, pulling back to gaze at me again, brushing my wind-blown hair out of my face. I noticed that his eyes were a bit red and watery too. “You deserve to be loved for every fibre of your being, Jess. I intend to do that if you let me.”

I was left a bit speechless, unsure what to say, or how to say it, and I even had to look away from the intensity of his gaze, feeling stripped down to my soul by those pale green eyes of his. “I would give every last dime in the world if I could be with you. None of this means anything to me without you now, Jess,” he spoke, with a raw honesty that still shook me. They weren’t just pretty words you’d find in a romance novel; they were real and overwhelming and deeply felt coming from Taron.

He seemed to understand that I needed some time to mull over these words of his, and we stood there quietly by the sea as I did my best to comprehend how he felt about me and what it all meant moving forward. I think the hardest part for me was that we hadn’t been together all that long; I didn’t feel that I had earned this kind of devotion on his part. But I also knew he wasn’t telling me half-truths or spinning fictions, that there was nothing about Taron that wasn’t genuine. Even more so, we had yet to be really intimate and I was a bit perplexed that someone could want me for more than just the pleasures of the flesh. He had gotten to know more of me than any man had taken the time to do and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

We eventually returned to our room when we both got too cold, and completely knackered from the flights and emotions we ended up just getting ready for bed, taking turns in the bathroom and then crawling into our separate beds. I’m not going to lie, it felt a bit odd to be more “roommates” than lovers in our sleeping arrangements, but to push things wouldn’t be wise for me. The last thing Taron needed was me freaking out unnecessarily because I hadn’t been that close to anyone since Kevin. Even thinking his name made my skin crawl, but then Taron cut into my thoughts with his adorable “sweet dreams, love,” before turning out his bedside light.

I laid awake for a bit, tossing and turning despite my exhaustion, long after I had heard Taron’s breathing slow and settle into sleep. I realized that even this much, being in the same room as him, my eyes tracing his sleeping form in the dark, was a new step for me. A step in the right direction, I reminded myself. I eventually let myself drift off to sleep, hoping for a fun day tomorrow.

****

The sun crawling slowly across the floor through the shades woke me in the morning. I squinted over at the clock and realized it was already 11 a.m. and Taron was still sound asleep. I couldn’t help but think he looked completely adorable in that vulnerable state, appreciating the sweetness of his sleeping expression. Sometimes the truest self could be viewed when someone was off in dreamland, escaping the pretense and performance of waking life. I left him to snooze a little longer as I shut myself in the bathroom, taking a good half-hour to shower and let the steam and luxurious soaps the hotel provided wake me up. I had to admit that I was feeling a lot more refreshed as I combed through my wet hair. A simple knock on the bathroom door startled me and I had to laugh at myself. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” I grinned as I pulled the door open, my eyes taking in Taron’s bedhead and sleepy grin.

“Morning love,” he smirked, stealing a kiss from me and apologizing for his morning breath. I hadn’t even noticed. “Ready for more adventures today?” he asked cutely, and I nodded happily at that.

“Of course! But breakfast first,” I grinned, making him just chuckle. 

“You know it,” he said with a wink. We got ourselves ready for the day, which didn’t require much. We both donned shorts and t-shirts and walking shoes, and I was excited for our plans to walk the city walls and see Dubrovnik from that high up. We enjoyed a quick bite at the hotel’s rather exquisite breakfast buffet before heading out, hand-in-hand, the sun already quite warm.

We ambled our way into town and eventually made our way to an access point for the city walls. After a little debate, we decided to join one of the guided tours, blending in quite well with a group of other tourists. We listened in on the history of the place, appreciating the views of the seas, the hidden narrow streets and groaning inwardly every time we had more stairs to climb. All in all, it was an enjoyable couple of hours, if a bit sweaty, and Taron seemed glad to get the chance to do it, as he’d had no time before when he was filming. We ended up just grabbing some cheeses, grissini and olives from a market stall to take back with us to our room, sitting on our balcony and snacking after having such a late breakfast, letting our poor legs rest.

With it being such a sunny and hot day, we decided the next best course of action would be to enjoy the beach fully before we got hungry for dinner. While Taron was changing into his swim trunks, I deliberated over which swimsuit I should wear, finally deciding to just go with the bright teal and aqua bikini. Of course I was nervous about my body in it as I took my turn and changed, but I also just wanted to enjoy the beach and the sun on my skin and who else was here to judge me? Certainly not Taron, judging by the look on his face when I emerged from the bathroom. Of course he’d already seen me in a swimsuit, but this one didn’t provide as much coverage, and even showed a little bit of my scar.

“You look amazing,” Taron managed, after picking his jaw up off the floor. Figuratively, of course.

“I could say the same about you,” I grinned, scoping out his bare biceps in the tanktop he had on over his swimmers. “But are we going to stand here staring at each other until the sun goes down or get out there?” I teased.

“You’ve got a point,” he just grinned, slinging our beach bag with our towels and sunscreen and room key over his shoulder. I had pulled on a loose muslin overshirt and we flip-flopped our way down to the beachfront, paying for the chair rentals since the beach was a bit rocky. We set our stuff out and when Taron pulled his tank off I stared, unashamedly so. This is my boyfriend, I reminded myself happily. He handed me the sunscreen bottle and turned around expectantly. Yes please, I thought to myself, spreading the lotion over his back carefully, making sure to cover every bit so he wouldn’t get burned, never getting over the feeling of my fingers gliding over his skin. He did the same for me and once we were lotioned up, we laid out on the chairs, letting the sun bake us.

When we both got too hot, we ran out into the water together, Taron splashing me while I shrieked and tried to get away. I eventually ended up dunking him in the water, making him laugh and sputter when he came back up for air. “You’ll pay for that!” he smirked, pulling me to him and kissing me hungrily as we bobbed in the water together up to our necks. I could feel his hands skimming over the skin of my waist under the water, and I shivered slightly. I returned those kisses in kind, even wrapping my legs around him so I wouldn’t drift away, the action making him groan slightly against my mouth. But we were in public, and even if no one was paying us any mind, the last thing we needed to do was give them a show, so we eventually broke apart, breathless and happy.

We eventually made it back to our lounge chairs, lazing about in the sun and perfectly content. I could not have possibly asked for a better vacation, and the truth was that I hadn’t even asked for this at all. The specialness of this gift was not lost on me, and Taron didn’t expect anything from me either. I was still thinking over his words from the night before, wondering just how deeply I could return the feelings. Of course I had fallen for him; I’m pretty sure I felt like I had long before I’d met him in the Tesco. But that was fan adoration, based on an image he projected in his interviews and video bits. And while it was pretty close to the person he actually was away from the cameras, I found him to be even more humble, low-key and genuinely caring in person. But love, well, that was a tricky thing. I thought I had loved someone once, and that man had broken me. Trusting someone enough to love again felt like standing at the edge of a crevasse, needing to make the jump to the other side but all I could do was stare down.

I hadn’t realized I was frowning in thought until Taron leaned over and placed his hand on mine. “Everything alright?” he asked, and I hurriedly rearranged my expression.

“Of course. Just thinking, probably about work,” I lied, and felt bad for that lie. But how to tell him how scared I was? I just felt at a loss.

“None of that here,” he chuckled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he watched me carefully. Feeling exposed, I finally suggested we go get dinner. The sun was heading toward the horizon anyway, and Taron didn’t argue. We changed and showered quickly, once again taking turns, and I donned a pretty dress and a light cardigan over it. Taron had chosen a rather fancy place for dinner, where we could sit outside and watch the stars twinkle into existence over our nightcaps. Our conversation flowed easily and I couldn’t help but be a bit mesmerized by the shadows drawn over his face by the flickering candlelight as the day sunk into early night.

We retired for the evening, getting ready for bed and cuddling on the couch as the telly droned on. Taron had drifted off and I had to shake him awake long enough to convince him to move to his bed, before crawling into my own and pulling the covers up around me, feeling a peculiar sense of loneliness seep through me that I couldn’t understand. I slid headlong into sleep, but my dreams were troubled and I guess I must have screamed out loud at some point because Taron woke me up out of the nightmare.

It took me a long, disorienting minute to remember where I even was, and I turned and hid my face against Taron as I sobbed slightly, images of Kevin still burned in my mind.

“It’s okay, you’re safe with me,” Taron soothed, repeating it over and over and patting my hair and running his hands gently over my arms, holding me and rocking me gently and giving me the space I needed to calm down. I was still shaking after I’d cried myself out, and he seemed reluctant to let me go. “Do you need to talk about it?” he asked quietly.

“I’m not sure that will help me any,” I said, my lips trembling.

“Please tell me what I can do to help,” he pleaded with me in the dark.

“Just stay,” I whispered, desperately not wanting to be alone.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he replied, his strong arms enveloping me as he placed a couple of kisses protectively on my forehead. Once I’d calmed down enough to sleep again, he rearranged our positions so he could cuddle me better and we could both sleep, and I felt much better now that we were both in the same bed, but hardly able to hold the significance of that in my mind. All I knew was that Taron made me feel safe from my demons, even if they only existed in my head. Exhausted and emotionally spent, I finally dropped off to sleep, my face buried in his comforting chest, lulled by the sound of his beating heart.

****

The next few days of vacation flew by, as they were wont to do. We explored more of the city, ate plenty more delicious food, and spent hours lounging by the pool or the sea. We’d taken in the views from the top of Srd, biked around Mljet National Park and escaped the midday heat in Dubrovnik’s museums. My favorite thing we did by far had been drinking cocktails and watching the sun set over the water at the ever-popular Buza Bar.

We also spent a lot of time in each other’s arms, kissing and touching and exploring each other���s bodies, but still I hesitated to give myself completely over to him, and he never asked for more than I was willing to give. 

On our second to last evening, I was talking to Taron about something, I don’t even remember what now, but I was clearly distracted as I was trying to pull a sweater out of my suitcase. A chill had crept into the air and we were going to take a moonlit walk on the beach together. My sweater had snagged on something and I yanked it rather hard, hoping that would free it, and out toppled the expensive lingerie Jules had bought for me - and that I had completely forgotten about. The lacy fabric pooled at my feet on the floor as Taron’s eyes went wide.

“What’s this, love?” he smirked, picking up the sheer teddy and holding it out for me.

“Oh god,” I said, my face flushing a deep red as I snatched it out of his hands. “N-nothing,” I stammered.

“Forget about the sweater. I want to see you in this,” he said, his eyes growing a bit dark and my heart nearly racing out of my chest. Damn it all to hell, Jules, I thought. “Please, love?” Taron asked, taking my hands in his and kissing my knuckles, staring up at me through his lashes. That look always undid my resolve a little, and he knew it too.

“Oh what the hell,” I huffed, grabbing the teddy and its matching panties and stalking off to the bathroom, not sure what I was even doing other than getting it over with. I had kept him wanting long enough, hadn’t I? I thought as I dropped my clothes to the floor and let the slinky material slide over my skin. Once I was fully dressed in it, I dared to peek at myself in the mirror; the lingerie left very little to the imagination. I’d already been shirtless in front of him, but this felt like something more. Still, the way the lace ended just under my butt cheeks seemed to accentuate their curves, and the built-in cups gave me cleavage I didn’t usually have. I let my hair out of its elastic confinement and let my waves fall down to my shoulders and took a deep breath, resolving my courage.

I opened the door and Taron’s back was to me as he stared out the glass balcony doors, but he turned around when I took a few steps into the room and audibly gasped. The way the moonlight slanted across his face sent shivers running down my spine as we stared across the space of the room at each other. Then, Taron was crossing the floor and pulling me into his arms, kissing me in a way he hadn’t before, heated and needy. And I did my best to open myself to that mutual want as his kisses traveled along my jawline, down my neck, across my shoulder blades.

Of course I wanted him; I didn’t live in a bubble separate from my own desires. I just needed to push beyond my fears. Almost as if reading my mind, Taron spoke up. “Please tell me to stop if you need me to. I respect you, I don’t want to push you anywhere you don’t want to be. But I need you,” he fairly whispered, his voice cracking a bit on that last sentence, and something about the way he said it broke through whatever was holding me back. 

Because it was more than just lust that drove us to the bed, although there was plenty of that as I hurriedly pulled his shirt off and unbuckled his belt, tossing both aside. There was a deeper sense of intimacy blossoming between us as we pushed his pants off him and he settled his weight over me, pressing me down into the bed, his fingers and lips trailing over my heated skin.

“This okay?” he murmured, his lips brushing over my stomach as I felt my core begin to throb in need. I hadn’t felt this turned on in so long, it almost truly made me want to cry. I was being awakened to feelings I long thought were dead, things I thought no one could ever make me feel again.

“Better than okay,” I moaned softly, remembering to breathe again as Taron rooted in the bedside drawer for a condom he must have stashed there in hopes. “I need you too,” I gasped softly as he hooked his fingers in the sides of my panties and slid them down my legs, exposing all of me to him.

“You’re absolutely beautiful,” he breathed, unable to tear his eyes aware from me, leaning over and capturing my lips with his kisses again even as he worked his own boxers off. I heard the crackle of the condom wrapper and then he was there, between my legs, his erection pressing tantalizingly against my inner thigh as he nipped at my lower lip slightly.

“Ready for me?” he asked as I got sort of lost in the depth of his lustful gaze. I nodded, letting him nudge my legs open just a little bit more with his knees as he lined his hips up with mine. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through his hair, trying to ground myself as I felt him slowly, gently enter me. The groan that rumbled through his body did more to erase my worries than anything else to that point. Seeing his careful reserve unravel at the feeling as he joined our bodies together unhinged me from my fears. I didn’t feel used, or dirty, or discarded; this was raw and real and powerful, and I was very much a part of what was happening here. This was what sex was meant to be all along.

He gazed at me so adoringly it made my heart ache with the weight of it. He let out his breath, tickling my face and making me giggle slightly as he waited for me to adjust to him; it had, admittedly, been years.

“Okay,” I whispered softly when I couldn’t take his stillness any longer. He obliged by drawing out and pushing his way back in agonizingly slowly, amplifying the pleasure that shot straight through me. I cried out, shocking myself even, the sparks running through me as he picked up his pace, our groans mingling together in the otherwise quiet of the room. I’m pretty sure I left red marks in his skin where I dug my fingertips into his shoulders, gripping him tightly as I lifted my own hips to meet his, finding a rhythm with him that had us both spiraling fast toward a climax.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned out, coming around him hard, my orgasm slamming into me and taking my breath away completely. I’m pretty sure I left the earth for a few minutes, because when I came aware again Taron was already collapsed on top of me, panting and sweaty and spent. It struck me suddenly that I had never actually orgasmed before, and I realized all my years of feeling ashamed over that fact were for nothing. I’d gotten close a couple of times with other boyfriends, or my own hand, but never tipped the edge and only been left with frustration. I’d simply never found someone invested in my own pleasure the way Taron was.

“Good for you?” he asked against my skin, leaving tiny kisses on my chest as we both tried to calm down again.

“You’ve just changed everything, Taron,” I replied softly.

“Yeah?” he said, with a boyishly handsome grin. I trailed my fingers through the sweaty hair on his chest, amazed to be with him this way.

“I can’t put it into words exactly, but I know and feel things now that I couldn’t have understood before,” I tried to explain. “You’re right, I do need to heal, and being with you like this has already helped me overcome so much I was frightened of or ashamed of before. I’ve been afraid of moving forward, afraid of taking risks, afraid of falling for someone again. But here I am, falling for you,” I rambled a bit, feeling emboldened to actually be vulnerable in front of him for once.

“I’m so grateful for that, you know,” he said, brushing my hair out of my face gently. “I know how hard it is to trust again after it’s been dashed. But I won’t ever let you hit the ground. I want you to fall so hard it’s endless, because I’ll always be here for you when you need me.” He kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, even brushing his lips over my eyelids when I closed them, before finally kissing me fully on the lips, making me tremble with the full intimacy of the moment. I couldn’t possibly have known in the Tesco, or in the karaoke bar, or at our table read, that all of these moments would have built to this. But somehow it had, and I was blown away by how much Taron had come to mean to me. He supported me, cared about me, protected me and maybe even could love me.

“Stay right here, I’ll be back,” he said, making me whimper when he finally pulled out of me. He discarded the condom and went to grab a washcloth and cleaned us both up, something no one else had ever taken the time to do. We really hadn’t messed the sheets up so we didn’t have to change those, but I had to pee really badly so I finally excused myself to the bathroom to do that, making Taron chuckle slightly. I also brushed my teeth quickly and swallowed my birth control pill; I was on the pill because my periods sucked but now I had extra reason to not forget it. I returned to the room, pulling on more comfortable pajamas and noticing Taron had put his boxers back on as he was lounging on the bed, just waiting for me to come back to him, and I was happy to do so.

We laid down face-to-face on the pillows, our foreheads touching and just sweetly gazing at each other, not needing words any longer. My body felt completely sated, my mind finally at peace. When I drifted off to sleep I couldn’t have been happier, knowing I was truly, deeply cared for.

Vacationing in Dubrovnik with Taron was a dream, but will reality catch up to Jess? Find out in Part 9!

[emmerrr]

hi i love your writing so much?!!! for a valentine’s prompt... maybe andreil + ditching practice or showing up late on valentine’s day, and the foxes freaking out about it? and maybe allison wins a bet or something? or anything with andreil, whatever you want to write! thanks

aw thank you so much! here’s what i came up with. it got too long (again) so i’ll put it on ao3 too. i hope you like it

-

Neil was woken up outrageously early (or outrageously late depending on your perspective) by Andrew softly murmuring his name.

His eyes shot open immediately, warm hazel ones gazing back.

“How set were you on going to practice today?”

Neil was ordinarily very set on going to practice, but he was also very set on any time he got to spend with Andrew. There was no game this week. He was in good shape. He could afford to miss a day.

“What else did you have in mind?” he whispered.

Andrew hummed quietly. “Let’s go find a sunrise.”

Loud, obnoxious banging on the suite door woke Matt up. 

Actually, it woke up everyone in the suite, but Nicky stuffed a pillow over his head and Aaron snapped, “Matt, go and open the door before I murder whoever’s on the other side.”

It was too early for a homicide. Matt lumbered to his feet and stumbled out of the bedroom towards the door and the incessant knocking.

“Yeah, yeah,” he called blearily. “I’m coming.”

He wrenched the door open and a very irate Kevin pushed past him without so much as a “good morning”.

“Please,” Matt said with a sardonic eye-roll Allison would be proud of, “won’t you come in?” He shut the door.

“Andrew and Neil are gone,” Kevin said without preamble.

“Gone?” Matt said.

Nicky stepped out of the bedroom, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “What do you mean, they’re gone?”

“I mean gone, as in not here, as in nowhere to be found,” Kevin said. “And we have practice in an hour.”

Matt chewed his lip nervously. “Did they leave a note?”

“Oh yes, of course they left a note, that’s why I’m knocking on your door at ass’o’clock in the morning,” Kevin said sarcastically.

“Alright, Cranky-Pants, settle down,” Matt said, but concern was building inside; it was a natural reaction wherever Neil was concerned.

“Have you tried calling them?” Nicky asked. Aaron had appeared behind him, hair sticking up every which way, a pillow crease lining his cheek, unbridled fury in his tired eyes.

“Voicemail. Both of them,” Kevin said.

There was a silence, and then Nicky quietly said, “Do you think something’s happened?”

“Like what, they’ve been kidnapped in the night?” Matt exclaimed, gesticulating dramatically.

“How do you guys make the leap to kidnap so goddamn easily,” Aaron said hoarsely.

“It’s Neil,” Kevin pointed out.

“It’s also Andrew, dipshit,” Aaron said, and then carried on speaking over Kevin’s offended spluttering. “As long as they’re together, I’m sure they’re fine.”

“Yeah but still,” Nicky said. “They’re missing.”

Aaron sighed. “Has anyone called Coach yet?”

“Shit, no, that’s a point,” Kevin said. “I left my phone next door.”

“I got it,” Matt said, disappearing back into the bedroom briefly to grab his phone. He pulled up Wymack’s number and pressed dial, then turned it on speaker.

“You’re up early,” Wymack answered gruffly. “For the love of God, please don’t have bad news. You kids are turning me grey before my time.”

“Uhhh, not bad news necessarily,” Matt said. “It’s just…have you heard from Neil or Andrew this morning?”

“Yeah, Neil sent me a message, they’re skipping today.”

Three sighs of relief went up around the room, punctuated by Aaron’s, “I told you.”

“Did they say where they were going, Coach?”

“Nope. And I didn’t ask. They’re both doing extra laps tomorrow to make up for it, so don’t any of the rest of you get any ideas.”

“Yes, Coach,” they all chorused.

“Good,” he said, and hung up.

“I’m going back to bed,” Aaron said. “I better not hear a peep out of any of you before my alarm goes off.”

Nicky smiled, relieved. “Panic over, I guess,” he said, and followed Aaron back into the bedroom.

Matt walked Kevin out.

“Don’t leave without me, you have to be my ride today,” Kevin said as a parting shot.

“Lucky me.”

“So they’re just not coming today?” Allison said when Matt filled the girls in at the stadium. “Today, of all days?”

“What are you getting at, Allison?” Dan asked.

“Oh, I think you know what I’m getting at, and it means I win the pot.”

Dan shook her head. “It’s a coincidence.”

Allison sighed. “Ye of little faith.”

“I dunno, Allison, she might have a point. I mean…who’s to say they even know what day it is?”

“Come on, give them a little more credit.” She looked around at Renee. “Back me up here, babe?”

Renee smiled serenely. “I’m not getting involved.”

“That means you know something,” Allison accused.

Renee held her hands up. “I don’t know anything, I promise. But I didn’t even bet on this, so I’m staying out of it. You guys can argue amongst yourselves.”

Knowing a lost cause when she saw one, Allison whirled back around on Matt and Dan. “You seriously don’t think it’s just a little suspicious that the day they both decide to skip out on practice without prior warning is Valentine’s Day?”

“It’s Neil and Andrew,” Dan said with an offhand shrug. “I don’t think they care about that kind of stuff.”

“I never said they did. Doesn’t mean they’d completely ignore it.”

By now, Kevin, Nicky, and Aaron had joined them on the court, the freshmen still all lagging behind in the changing rooms.

“What are we talking about?” Nicky asked.

Dan fiddled with the netting on her racquet. “Allison is under the impression that Neil and Andrew are on a Valentine’s Day date.”

Aaron pulled a face and stepped away to start doing some stretches out of earshot.

“Oh my God, do you think?” Nicky said, laughing in delight. But then he shook his head. “Nah. Neil would never miss practice for that. And I don’t think I’ve ever even heard Andrew say the word ‘valentine’.”

Kevin remained pretty quiet about the whole thing, but did seem to agree with Nicky that whatever it was they were doing, it wasn’t a Valentine’s date. Mostly he just seemed annoyed that they weren’t there.

Dan was just as dubious, whilst Matt was on the fence about the whole thing.

“I really want to believe,” he said to Allison. “I don’t know though. It just doesn’t seem like it would be their thing.”

Wymack came onto the court and clapped his hands. “Enough gossip, I don’t pay you just to stand around.”

“You don’t pay us at all, Coach,” Aaron drawled.

Wymack blinked then conceded with a brusque nod. “Fair enough. Whatever. Dan, lead them through some drills. Let’s go, Foxes.”

Allison picked up her racquet and twirled it flippantly. “I’m telling you, it’s a date.”

Right around the time that the Foxes were taking their first water break, Andrew and Neil were miles away, lying out on the bonnet of the Maserati watching the sunrise.

Well, Neil was watching the sunrise. Andrew was watching Neil watch the sunrise, which he knew was a cliché but he couldn’t quite help it. The hazy morning light softened Neil’s edges, the pink glow somehow making him seem ethereal and unattainable, like Andrew’s hand would go straight through him if he tried to touch him.

“Neil,” he said, and Neil turned his head, smiling. Andrew lost his train of thought. “Are you cold?” he asked instead.

Neil nodded. “A little.”

Andrew pulled the blanket a little tighter around both of them, then pulled Neil’s hat down further to keep his ears toasty.

Neil laughed a little, his breath warm on Andrew’s cheek, and Andrew was at once put at ease by the feel of Neil under his hands, the breath that told him Neil was alive, the solid comfort of his presence. Not so unattainable after all.

At least not if you were Andrew. And wasn’t that just a miracle in and of itself?

Andrew couldn’t really say that he believed in miracles, but there was something of the miraculous about Neil.

He blamed the early hour for the poetic turn his thoughts had taken and lightly batted at Neil’s face.

“Staring,” he muttered.

“You were fixing my hat, where was I supposed to look?” Neil said, exasperatedly fond.

Andrew lifted one shoulder as if to say not my problem. Neil shook his head and looked away, still smiling. He took Andrew’s hand under the blanket, and Andrew let him, and they stayed like that until the sun was up and the sounds of the day waking up became louder and more difficult to ignore.

“That was nice,” Neil said softly. “What now?”

“Breakfast.” Andrew tossed Neil his keys. “You drive.”

Andrew basically told Neil to drive until he found somewhere he wanted to eat, and eventually Neil pulled into the parking lot of a small diner.

Inside, they each ordered coffee, and Andrew ordered pancakes while Neil opted for eggs. 

There was a Valentine’s themed tablecloth on the table and Andrew eyed it distastefully. In the windows, too, were love-heart decals, signs depicting 2-for-1 offers on main meals from 3pm onward, a Valentine’s special for couples.

“We should have come later,” Neil said, following Andrew’s gaze to the sign. He smirked at Andrew’s one raised eyebrow.

“What, to cash in on Valentine’s offers?”

“Sure,” Neil said with an easy shrug. “We qualify.”

“Says who?” Andrew said, throwing a sugar packet at him; Neil’s reflexes were too fast and he caught it.

“Says me. And you, when you’re not being difficult.”

“I’m never difficult,” said Andrew stubbornly. Neil shot him a pointed look and leaned forward, elbows perched on the table.

“Take this then,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “Today. Right now. You getting me up at four o’ clock in the morning to watch the sunrise, skipping practice so we can be alone. Breakfast, and whatever else we do for the rest of the day. What do you call this?”

What did Andrew call it? A distraction? A way to kill some time?

“I know what other people might call it,” Neil said carefully.

Andrew tilted his head slightly to the side, temple against the window. “What’s that,” he asked with absolutely no inflection.

“A date,” Neil said conspiratorially. “And on Valentine’s Day, as well.”

Andrew felt the corner of his mouth twitch, some approximation of a smile. “We’ve done stuff like this before,” he said.

“Not on Valentine’s Day. Not skipping practice. Also, classes. Coach is gonna have to sign notes for us tomorrow to excuse us.”

“It’s a good job he can do that, then.”

“Andrew.” Neil leaned back and ran a hand through his hair, all mussed from the hat he’d been wearing earlier. It was terribly distracting. “Is this a date then?”

“Call it what you want,” Andrew said impassively. 

Neil stared right back at him. Blue eyes flashed, almost like Andrew had dared him, and he couldn’t back down. “I think I’m gonna call it a date,” Neil said.

“You do that.”

“I will.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Andrew found it harder to suppress his smile this time, and it broke Neil’s own composure as he let out an amused huff.

Their breakfasts arrived then and a natural silence befell them as they started to eat. 

Whilst Andrew in no way advocated for Valentine’s Day, he couldn’t really deny that it had everything to do with why he had chosen today to spirit Neil away from campus.

Their teammates, who Andrew knew meant well (at least on the days he was feeling generous towards them), were nonetheless incredibly intrusive. They were constantly curious about Neil and Andrew’s relationship, presumably because they knew so little about it, other than that it existed in the first place.

Andrew didn’t really get the brunt of the interest, as the others deemed it a waste of time even trying to get anything out of him. Neil was just as unlikely to answer their questions, but it didn’t really seem to stop them from trying with him. Neil humoured them sometimes, but he clearly didn’t like having their attention over something this intensely private.

On Valentine’s Day, Andrew thought they might all be relentless. Better to steer clear. He knew their absence would be conspicuous, but they could deal with it later, or tomorrow. 

He was pretty sure there was a betting pool surrounding the issue of him and Neil and Valentine’s Day, and it could sometimes be entertaining when those closed. Andrew idly wondered who might win.

Allison, probably. It was somehow always Allison.

After they’d eaten, Neil tried to pay but Andrew stopped him, throwing down his own cash onto the check instead before standing up and heading out.

Neil quickly caught up to him, saying, “Wow, it is a date.”

“Okay,” Andrew said when they reached the Maserati. “If it’s a date, what do you want to do next?”

Neil leaned back against the car, tilting his head as he thought about it. Then he grinned. “I want you to kiss me.”

Andrew rolled his eyes, but seeing as the parking lot was otherwise deserted and that kissing Neil was almost always in the top 5 things he wanted to do at any given moment, he obliged. He made sure it was a good one, leaning in close, a hand on the back of Neil’s neck, just the right amount of tongue. He pulled away when they were both a little breathless, although his composure was markedly better than Neil’s.

“And now?” he said.

“Uhh…” Neil said, looking a little dazed. But then his expression cleared and he pointed back the way they’d come. “I saw an arcade about a mile back that way?”

At the arcade, they played best out of three on the basketball game where you have to see how many baskets you can make in a minute. Neil won the first, Andrew the second, and Neil just about snatched the win on the last game.

Neil was disappointed at the lack of Exy related games, but Andrew managed to assuage some of the grumpiness by winning him a fox cuddly toy that was in one of those claw machines. (He spent twelve dollars in the attempt, but that was neither here nor there.)

They played several games of pool and Neil lost every. Single. One. They did the rounds of some of the other games, most of them not holding Neil’s attention for too long, although Andrew liked the car ones.

“You know, you have a car like right outside,” Neil said. “Andrew, you drove us here.”

They played one last game of pool (Neil still lost) and then they hit the road again. Neil told Andrew to take them to Columbia where they stopped at Sweetie’s, and Neil bought Andrew some ice cream while he ate fries.

On the way out, Neil stole one of the heart-shaped Valentine’s balloons from the entrance-way and then sprinted unsubtly back to the car. Andrew ambled after him and then drove them to the Columbia house, where they made out on the sofa until the sun went down.

Out of all of the February 14th’s Andrew had lived through, it probably went down as his favourite.

Neil offered to drive back, but Andrew ignored him and got into the driver’s seat. Neil powered his phone back on as soon as they hit the freeway, and although he had several messages, the most recent one was the only one he paid attention to.

“Allison says we have to go to the girls’ room when we get back.”

“We don’t have to,” Andrew pointed out.

Neil shrugged. “May as well see what she wants.”

They stopped to pick up some Chinese food not far from campus, enough to share in case anyone else at the dorm needed feeding. They managed to get a spot close to the entrance of Fox Tower, and Andrew carried the takeout bag up, leaving Neil with his fox toy and stolen balloon.

When they got to their floor, Neil went straight to the girls’ room and knocked. He heard Allison yell, “Come in!” and opened the door.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

The upperclassmen were all sitting on the floor in a circle, playing some kind of card game. Dan and Matt were dressed fancy, and Neil knew they had Valentine’s reservations for somewhere a little later on. Allison and Renee were dressed down, clearly preferring to spend their night in. They all stared at Neil when he walked in. 

Allison’s gaze switched from Neil to the balloon to the fox and back again, and she grinned, whirling on the rest of them. “Oh, pay up, dickwads.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dan said. “Neil, where were you today?”

“Out,” Neil said. He felt Andrew step up behind him and quickly peered over his shoulder, unable to stop the smile as just the sight of him reminded him of the day they’d had.

“On a date?” Matt said.

“Uh huh,” Neil said. “Andrew won me this fox.”

Andrew hooked his chin over Neil’s shoulder. “Neil bought me ice-cream.”

Matt turned to Allison, shrugging. “Yeah, okay, you win.”

“But…” Dan tried, clearly not yet willing to part with her money. “Maybe it wasn’t a Valentine’s date. Maybe it was just a date that happened to fall on Valentine’s Day.”

“What’s the fucking difference?” Allison said.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta agree with her on this one, Dan,” Neil said.

Renee put her hand on Dan’s arm. “I think it’s time to let it go now,” she said.

“I…oh, alright,” Dan said with a defeated sigh. She scowled and handed some money over to Allison. “One of these days I’ll win one of these stupid bets.”

Allison winked up at Neil and then turned her attention to her new wad of cash, counting the notes. “One of these days you’ll stop betting against me.”

Neil shrugged. “Or maybe one of these days you could leave me and Andrew out of your bets entirely.” He smiled; it perhaps wasn’t a particularly friendly one. “Just a thought.” Andrew stepped away and Neil heard him padding back down the hall to their suite.

There was a brief uncomfortable silence, but then Allison got to her feet. “You know what, you’re right,” she said, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ve made enough money off of you by now anyway. I’d call it even.”

It broke the tension and Neil managed a laugh. “Nah, it’d be even if you gave me a cut of your winnings.”

“You do get a cut, what do you think I was using to pay for all the clothes I get you?”

Neil figured that was the best offer he’d get. “Fair enough. Enjoy your night, guys.”

He’d gotten halfway back to his room when he heard Allison call, “Nice balloon, Neil!”

“Thank you, Allison.”

“Happy Valentine’s, Neil!”

He shot her a smile over his shoulder. “Thank you, Allison.”

He stepped inside the suite. Kevin was standing in the doorway of the bedroom with his arms crossed and a face of thunder. Neil looked to Andrew who was plating up food in the kitchenette.

“We’re in trouble,” he said in response to Neil’s quizzical look.

“Would it have killed you two to leave a note?”

[badlydrawndrawnings]

13 Suspicious Incidents  (ATWQ 2.5 Thoughts)

*See today is Friday the Thirteenth*

Perfect.

Did anyone as a child read Encyclopedia Brown, or Two Minutes Mysteries? I read them both as a kid (the latter is a big yikes because I think those were written for more mature audiences) and boy, I had a love/hate relationship with them. The stories were fun to read, but I found the solutions either something I never would have know/not see because I do not posses the right knowledge or not an observant person so the clues went over my head, or went ‘So apparently me doing or knowing [X] would get me arrested and/or call a fraud.’

Examples: someone hasn’t visit his friend for days, and the Doctor guy was all ‘you the killer’ because the person knew the house was being painted because he jumped the newly painted stairs and didn’t knock on the door but the window (the friend could have smell the fresh paint). Another one had a character (not the Doctor guy) use the a different term for baking soda and realized the bakery was a front (a term I don’t think even a baker would know or hell, most people would know. The fact I forgot it myself is proof that story is just wack). Something from Encyclopedia Brown had someone had their bike stolen and he went to this one kid who gave up bike riding, and trick her to riding her bike to proof she is still a decent bike rider because her bike was still in good condition (and I’m like...maybe she just takes care of her bike?).

I honestly Kermit when I starting reading 13 Suspicious Incidents because I am not strong enough to deal with those types of stories. However, I trust Daniel Handler to not get me arrested If I existed in Lemony Snicket’s world, and continue reading while hoping I’m not the fool I was as a child.

I am still that fool, but I feel happy the Snicket World got explore more.

1. Inside Job: I figured Dagmar was replacing something while Marguerite was in the mines. But I thought it was the frames...for some reason. I didn’t think it was nails that was actually pretty smart of Marguerite’s dad. [Deep Mine: I don’t want to know what the heck Dagwood is doing but I think the natural sounds are underground animals. Also notebooks found by the museum? Kit reference?.]

2. Pinched Creature: Okay, so apparently I have never seen zinnias before in my life so I felt I learn something from this story because I had to look up zinnias. I honestly did not thought the ‘doorknob salesman’ was behind the missing newt. Also, how old is Georgina? Paltryville and their eye doctor got a namedrop due to Moxie (thank goodness Oliver never went there). Okay, maybe it’s a position assigned to a VFD member and Georgina is the latest kind of like Netflix. [Backseat: I maybe be reading it wrong, but either Doctors Sobol are the criminals or it’s Bertram. I think it’s Bertram.]

3. Ransom Note: This was the only Incident I got done to a ‘T’. If Lysistrata the dog wasn’t barking it had to be someone the dog knew and the one person who fits with the need for speed was the grandpa. The image of the grandpa and the dog sticking their heads out is kind of funny. [Quiet Street: No comment other than I hope VFD isn’t there.]

4. Walkie-Talkie: I feel this is the only time I got close to tolerating Stew he just freaking outsmarted everyone with his prank just to steal food from Jake. (I hope Jake doesn’t get the pecan muffins get stolen by Stew). It’s a cruel thing, but I actually laughed my ass off at the end. [Beneath the Street: Passageway for small lizards and amphibians huh? And goes to a mine? Nice.]

5. Bad Gang: This was all for boards for a DIY bookshelf and swords to be a pirate. You go Florence and Kevin achieve your dreams by robbing stores. Nice to know Theodora has a sister. Hm...given Theodora is always getting described with her wild hair, I wonder if TWWHBNB is the sister because ‘hair’ is a description for both women. Could be a family trait. Also, is Kevin Old a child version of Kevin the Ambidextrous? Kevin is holding a board in each hand? Did the family business died out and Kevin had no choice but to go to Caligari Carnival? If that’s the case then he was maybe proud of being ambidextrous but things change? [Small Courtyard: Dagwood and Violetta are related? I thought Violetta was a made up person!]

6. Silver Spoon: I don’t want to say Smogface Wiley is Sir, in part because of Randall’s age and I get the feeling Sir is in the same ‘generation’ as the SBG. But then again, maybe Sir is a freaking sugar daddy because his family has businesses from lumber to tube socks to melons. Either way, I guess Sir’s last name is Wiley and his first name is unpronounceable? I didn’t think Smogface stole from Randall to follow the alphabet. [Missing Pets: Are the lizards stolen by Ms. Flammarion the ones Bertram stole? Who wants these lizards in the first place?]

7. Violent Butcher: You go Lemony for (temporary) locking up Drumstick’s dad in the attic for Drumstick to escape to his mom. Honestly I was more focus on the Drumstick getting the hell out of town than caring where he was hiding. [Large Meal: WHO WAS GONNA EAT THE LIZARDS? Was it Dagwood and Violetta? Oh god, is that why the lizards were in the passageway to avoid getting eaten?]

8. Twelve or Thirteen: Gary Dorian -> Picture of Dorian Gray reference? I never read it but through osmosis I know the basic idea. I thought Chase was frame by cops I never expected the wife. [Other Name: I don’t get it like how was both sides gonna help the villain be warn.]

9. Midnight Demon: So Lemony gets seasick huh? How the hell did you survived the trip on the Prospero? I actually figure Treacle was pretending to be his sister Tatiana, but the whole wig thing...I thought he put the wig on the dog not in the basket. [Sand & Shore: Are the ships in the bottom of the sea?]

10. Three Suspects: I feel so happy that this was obvious from the get thank you Daniel Handler for giving me mercy for one case and just put a sign that reads ‘hey it’s the third brother’. But uh...’Stain’d-by-the-Sea’s only library, for as long as it lasted’...what does that mean??? Also: 20-18=0 is something I never thought I read before in my life. And what was Mimi gonna say about a woman and a man (actually I don’t want to know). [Poor Joke: I hate abandon punchlines.]

11. Vanished Message: If Lemony was an adult and living by himself, he could have pour some cereal into his mouth, chew it, and drink directly from the milk carton (I did that once with a gallon of milk wasn’t too bad it’s good in a pinch and if you need to finish the milk). I am a fool for not realizing the postcard was inside the book. Also, I can’t believe Lois is VFD  and Lemony has a file that could be the Snicket File (or maybe a general file label Snicket). [Message Recorded: Okay, so T is Theodora. Is Q is Qwerty? I mean, I guess Theodora can mistaken him for a VFD member I don’t think they interact much from what I can remember of the last two books and this could be their first proper meeting.]

12. Troublesome Ghost: I never had waffles before so I have to talk Lemony’s word not only Jake’s waffles are good, but (banana) waffles in general. I didn’t expect it to be Billy Decker I thought maybe we had a real ghost in town. I’m glad he and Ms. Mann got a happy ending of sorts. [Nervous Wreck: Thanks for the message?]

13. Figure in Fog: I can’t believe Qwerty just went out and call Lemony a suspicious incident, and honestly speaking, Lemony is suspicious from an outsider POV he is bringing lots of trouble that probably weren’t noticeable before he and Theodora arrived (I mean, I get it was noticeable but no one gave a second glance). Also, I want to say the figure is Ellington because I don’t think it’s a ghost (or anyone else...). [Last Word: I’m trying to think of nine letter words but I’m drawing a blank].