#to make the killing pay off emotionally but it just SUCKS

[takaraphoenix]

I know once upon a time, you watched 9-1-1. Do you still keep up with it or did your interest in it die? I'm asking because I haven't seen you post or reblog anything about it recently but was curious if you've seen the news about it.

Due to the writer's strike, the break between seasons was so long, I decided to rewatch the last season first before starting the current season!

But yes, I'm still very much watching, I love that show. Rare for me to love canon pairings and I adore Bobby/Athena and Karen/Hen, so this show would have to fundamentally fuck up for me to drop it! (Still sad about Michael being written out, though I understand the IRL reasoning.)

I have seen the news about it though, or I think I know what you're referring to, at least, and I'm... already exhausted because the way I learned about it, of course, was by shippers treating this as Step One to getting their ship be canon. And I think that canon queer rep should be celebrated about being canon queer rep and not be used as stepping stones to get your non-canon ships canon. So that's, I don't know, disappointing behavior.

Can't attest to how well it was handled though because I haven't seen it yet. I hope it's actually handled. I hope there is actual... consideration. The character considering his sexuality, I mean. We so rarely get self-finding stories when it comes to queerness, too often we're just the side-characters who are already fully in their identity when they step onto our screen and considering that he has never shown any interest in men before, a retcon of "yeah no he's been bi all along" would be wild. Which, also, I hope that consideration of his sexuality leads to explicit labeling, something that's also too often hand-waved and you get to guess the sexuality by what partners a character is shown with.

So, yeah! Once I finish my rewatch, I'll get onto the current season and see how they handled it for myself and see if I like how they handled it. If I do, you can expect a delighted rant here. If I don't... well, I hope I do.

[archangeldyke-all]

Reader who's been hired as more muscle for the gang? Maybe Sev is a bit jealous and/or is mean to reader, but the reader plays this off by flirting/teasing Sev. And ends up topping her.

Jfdjhggj I need more bottom Sev in my life lmao

bottom sevika is the loml actually

men and minors dni

you cannot, for the fucking life of you, figure out why sevika hates you so much.

you've been working for silco for about six months now, and it's been great. the best job of your life. sure, you're constantly committing crimes and dodging punches, but silco pays well, you get unlimited drinks at the last drop, and you've found a great group of friends in all his other goons.

well, all of the goons except sevika. she despises you, and you've got no fucking idea why. you've been nothing but pleasant and respectful toward her, but lately your patience is starting to wear thin.

"everyone was great at the dropoff today, boss. ran saved us half an hour with some quick thinking and knife skills, and deckard was surprisingly accurate with his math."

"that's what i like to hear. any issues?" silco asks from his desk, where he's puffing on a cigar. your stomach sinks-- you know what's coming.

sevika's silver eyes flick over to you, a small smirk on her lips while she speaks. "the fuckin' rookie forgot to fill the van with gas." she says.

you scowl and scoff. "i did not! that was your fucking assignment-- i was in charge of driving!"

sevika's smirk turns into a grin-- it seems like the only thing she likes more than bothering you is when you fight back. "are you seriously speaking to your superior in that tone right now?" she asks.

"my 'superior'?! as far as i'm aware you're just the bitch at work who makes my life fucking miserable."

all the air gets sucked out of the room, and behind you ran mutters something under their breath. "wrong move, rookie."

sevika's sneering at you, and you get exactly one second of warning before she's grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and is dragging you out of the office, a series of 'oooooh's following behind you.

"oh, great, now she's gonna fuckin' kill me before i can even get paid for today's work." you mutter to yourself as sevika drags you to her office, slamming the door shut behind her. she shoves you against the wall hard, and you grunt. "fuck! what is your fucking problem!?" you shout, shoving at sevika's shoulders. she barely budges.

"you talk too much for your own fuckin' good, y'know." she growls.

you sneer up at her. "and you'd be a lot more attractive if you learned to play nice."

sevika freezes, her anger melting into a shocked expression. you giggle a little-- it looks like you've finally found a way to fight back with sevika-- flirting. "sh-shut up." she mutters eventually. you snort.

"what's wrong, sev, got you tongue tied? that's all it takes, huh? a little compliment and you lose all that bite?" you tease.

sevika doesn't get angry like you expect her to, though. instead, she gulps, and her eyes get wide. you burst into giggles and sevika blinks, her shoulders hunching up. "shut the fuck up." she tries to sound scary, but her voice is too shaky for it to work.

"oh, shit!" you laugh. sevika hunches in on herself even more. "holy shit! you've got a crush on me!" you cackle, pointing an accusing finger at sevika. you watch in fascination as a blush creeps all the way up her neck to the tip of her ears.

"n-no i don't." she tries to deny. you're still reeling from your discovery, giddy and flabbergasted.

"you totally do! holy shit how did i not realize this before!? you're an emotionally constipated shithead, of course you don't know how to flirt! you probably didn't even realize, did you? just wanted to tug my pigtails and get my attention somehow huh?" sevika blinks at you owlishly-- more surprised than you've ever seen her before. you snort. "everything makes sense now." you chuckle to yourself.

"f-fuck off." sevika mutters eventually. you cackle and smack her on the shoulder.

"i've got you all worked out, hah! monday's gonna be a breeze." you laugh to yourself as you make to leave. sevika reaches out and spins you back around before you can open the door fully. you raise an eyebrow at her. "yes?"

sevika looks flustered and confused and slightly scared of you. you giggle a bit as you watch her try and fail to come up with anything to say, before rolling your eyes and giving her a little help.

"figure out a nicer way to flirt with me and you might be surprised, sev. until then, leave me the fuck alone unless you want me telling the gang why you've been picking on me so much." you say, then turn to leave again.

this time you make it halfway out the room before sevika's pulling you back in the room, slamming the door shut and shoving you against the wall again. for one horrible second you worry that you've read the whole situation wrong and you've only managed to enrage sevika even more with the suggestion that she might like you-- especially when sevika's hand wraps around your throat-- but then she freezes and takes a shaky breath. her fingers unwrap from your neck, slowly trailing up to cup your face.

"shut up." sevika whispers at what must be the cockiest, pleasantly surprised smile on your face. you just snort.

"make me." you demand.

sevika swoops forward to kiss you, and you giggle against her lips.

she's like putty in your hands, letting you guide her hands up and down your body, moaning against your lips. when you sink a hand into her hair, she shivers, and you manage to flip the two of you so you're pressing her against the door.

sevika's panting and staring at you with stars in her eyes. you snort at the sight-- endlessly intrigued with her now that you've figured her out. "oh, you're sweet aren't you?" you tease.

sevika tries to glare at you, but it falls flat with her eyes blown so wide they're black and her hands desperately clutching at your hips. "no, i'm not." she denies. you giggle and lean forward to start sucking a hickey against her throat-- the idea of sevika wearing your bite on her throat in front of the gang tomorrow making you dizzy.

"you are." you say. "bet you're fuckin' soaked for me, too, aren't you?"

sevika whimpers. you have to kiss her again to keep from laughing at her. she's pathetic. it's so fucking hot.

sevika grabs your hand and tries to shove it down her pants. you laugh, pulling away from her and grabbing her chin-- forcing her to look at you. "sevika, take a breath, babe." you request. she moans at the petname, and you laugh. "fuck, you're cute."

"fuck off!" sevika growls. you snort.

"i need you to use your words before i can take care of you, honey."

sevika shivers, her voice shaky as she speaks. "fuck... please fuck me."

you raise an eyebrow at her, and sevika actually stomps her foot. you laugh. "and why should i?" you ask.

sevika sputters, then cringes. you watch her mentally debate whether or not she's horny enough to communicate-- and you're surprised when she takes a deep breath, rolls her eyes, and then speaks. "b-because... because i've got a stupid fuckin' crush on you, okay!?" she shouts.

you grin and lean forward, kissing her cheek. "okay." you say simply, shoving your hand down the front of her pants and boxers. sevika whimpers, leaning forward to bury her face against your shoulder as you gasp. "oh, baby-- you're soaked." you coo.

she bites your shoulder. "would you just-- shut the fuck --ah!" she gasps at you sink two fingers inside her. "f-f-f-fuck!" she whines. you laugh.

"you better shut up or everyone's gonna know what's goin' on in here." you tease. sevika whimpers, and leans back-- shoving a fist in her mouth. you snort and lean forward, nudging her hand out of the way with your face. "move that. i got a better way to shut you up."

sevika's hand wraps around you, clawing at your back as you start to kiss her. it's uncoordinated and sloppy-- both of you too focused on her cunt to care much about your lips-- and it's the hottest kiss of your life. especially because sevika keeps whimpering into your mouth.

you manage to muffle most of her moans and groans, but when she cums, sevika leans back and shouts. "oh, oh, oh fuck!"

you giggle against her throat-- there's no explaining that away-- but you think sevika might've done it on purpose. you have a sneaking suspicion that sevika's going to be a possessive lover if the way she's clinging to you as she catches her breath is any clue. you don't mind.

"you're a fucking mess." you tease. sevika grunts and pinches your ass.

"shut up."

"that's rich coming from you. think the walls shook with how loud you were squealing."

"shut up!" sevika growls. you laugh.

"you don't scare me, baby. 'specially not when your cunt's still squeezing my fingers." you say, wiggling said fingers just a bit. sevika growls and bites your shoulder again, and you giggle. "are you gonna go back to bein' a bitch to me now or have we moved past that?" you ask.

sevika huffs and picks her head up, peeking up at you with puppy eyes. "i'm... sorry." she mutters. you smirk, raising an eyebrow at her, and sevika groans and straightens up. "i am!" she whines. "i just-- y'know." she says, waving her hand at you. you giggle.

"i do know." you say, nodding. "you're a mess."

sevika huffs. "yeah, basically."

"it's okay, sev. you're a hot mess." you tease. she snorts.

"i can't believe i like you." she groans. you just laugh. sevika huffs and you pull your hand out of her pants and straighten her out a bit. you make to leave and sevika squeaks. "wait!" you pause in the doorway, and sevika gulps, cringes, and groans. "fuck. fuck! fuck, i don't... just-- what're you doing tonight?" she asks.

something inside you flutters and you shrug. "you tell me."

sevika smiles a bit, her eyes darting away from you as she reaches up to rub the back of her neck. "...i won a shitload of money in cards last night... i could take us up to the promenade?" she asks. you grin.

"pullin' out all the stops, huh?" you ask. she shrugs.

"'s an apology."

"i like it. you've got yourself a date, sev."

sevika grins.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

[w0rmm1lk]

May I request the class 1A boys (if u write for multiple in the same fic) reacting to their gn! S/o (who’s normally insanely calm and patient) finally snapping and ends up nearly killing a villain? Like reader snaps during a fight against a villain or smth because the boys (seperate but yk) got hurt and stuff? Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I suck at explaining things 😭

hi! i didnt end up doing all the boys but I did the ones I think I would b able to write for best hehe, for future posts probably gonna limit it to 5 characters per post!

characters: Tenya Iida, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima, Mezou Shoji, Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya.

reader: Gn

summary: the very well known 1a student (reader) who is known for being calm and understanding almost fucking kills someone.

warnings: blood mentions, near death experience, swearing, injuries.

other details: 1A!reader, reader quirk not mentioned but they use their bare fists to beat the shit out of the villain, villain is not any specific one.

👓Tenya Iida👓

👓- Iida was fast but damn the villain was faster.

👓- this resulted into iida now basically completely motionless on the ground yet still concious.

👓- usually if it was any of your other friends you would just take a deep breath and anylis whats going on to make sure things are delt with properly.

👓- but that iis not the case this time.

👓- it was almost like something snapped.

👓- nobody could actually figure out how you managed to catch the villain, especially with their speed.

👓- but bystanders were more focused on the fact that you were now repeatedly slamming their face into the sidewalk.

👓- honestly a miracle the villain survives that shit, but they 100% had brain damage afterwards.

👓- normally iida would step in but he could only really stare at you.

👓- partly due to the shoock, but also the fact that he straight up couldn't move from his injuries.

👓- after everything calmed down and iida recovered he gave your ass a huge lecture.

⚡Denki Kaminari⚡

⚡- he was shocked.

⚡- pun intended but also he was just straight up in shock.

⚡- first off, surprising he got these many injuries without short circuting.

⚡- guess his training rlly payed off.

⚡- well at least his quirk training.

⚡- thinks its sick as hell how you just beat the shit out of the villain.

⚡- their face will never be the same again.

⚡- hes kinda into it tbh.

🪨Eijiro Kirishima🪨

🪨- literally just makes the :o face

🪨- this man got one hit that actuqally injured him at you just cut loose.

🪨- he felt like not even he could do that much damage in unbreakable. (he totally could do worse but hes just having a moment leave me alone.)

🪨- aftwards will literally beg you to spar with him.

🪨- unfortunatley never gets to fight you while ur that pissed off.

🪨- honestly when he saw how beat up the villain was he thought that it was bakugos doing for a hot second.

🐙Mezou Shoji🐙

🐙- the way you reacted to him getting hurt lowkey reminded him of dark shadow during the training camp.

🐙- very similar situation tbh.

🐙- it was just one of his extended limbs that got injured, yet you reacted as if he had just been decapitated.

🐙- froze up for a second when he watched you just immediately run up to the villain you have been fighting for at least an hour and just absolutely demolish then within a few minutes.

🐙- had to restrain you a bit to stop you from actually murdering them.

🐙- was a little shocked at the sudden swap oof personality for that short time but was more focused on stopping you from being charged with murder.

❄️Shoto Todoroki🔥

❄️🔥- ^that face.

❄️🔥- like that is just his reaction tbh.

❄️🔥- i mean its not everyday you see the person thats just a slightly more emotionally available version of you almost kill someone.

❄️🔥- especially over a small cut.

❄️🔥- the cut wasnt even caused directly by the villain, it was a broken piece of glass that was flying around with other debri./

❄️🔥- i mean-- at least you caught the villain?

❄️🔥- and almost killed them.

❄️🔥- along with free medical debt.

❄️🔥- or no medical debt?

❄️🔥- idk how that stuff works in japan bruh.

💥Katsuki Bakugo💥

💥- fight me all you want but

💥- he just straight up finds it hot.

💥- like if you look close enough this mf is blushing.

💥- who knew that the one time someone makes bakugo blush is his partner attempting murder.

💥- originally wasnt going to hold you back.

💥- the longer he watched you beat the shit out of this guy he started to genuinley think you were going to kill them.

💥- once everything settles down you started back to you normal calm persona.

💥- bro was just like ????

🥦Izuku Midoryia🥦

🥦- panic.

🥦- like you dont even have to look at him, you just need to be near him and you can basically feel how panicked he is over this.

🥦- lots of panicked words, you can barely even tell whats he's saying through the rage but also the pure speed he's speaking at.

🥦- few words that were mostly intelligable you could tell he was saying you should stop.

🥦- even if you wanted to stop your body wouldnt let you.

🥦- ended up needing to use blackwhip to get you off.

🥦- not that it did much being the villai already had a broken nose and multiple broken ribs.

🥦- probably missing teeth aswell.

🥦- izuku is lowkey terrified to somehow piss you off now.

theyre all a little short but i think I slayed

[give-grian-rights]

Hermitcraft Fic Rec!

HELLO. i have hundreds, HUNDREDS of hermitcraft fanfiction bookmarked and living in my brain without rent. Breaking this up into categories for some of my PERSONAL favorite fics in the fandom- including categories for shipping, crossover, and worldbuilding.

Some of these fics are from 2019 but generally speaking you don't need knowledge of past seasons you should be able to pick up on just about all of them. a lot of these are mostly included BECAUSE they're older and therefore, harder to accidentally stumble upon. put in no particular order.

If your fic is on here and you'd like it removed, send an Ask with the fic, a dm, etc

World Building

The Parting Glass / To Pass The Jungle You Have To Go All The Way Around - Sekrap.

Doc has been trying to forget. He has done everything everyone told him he should do to make the memories go away. And still the jungle calls for him. / He was a monster. Then, a man. Now, a machine. Doc, once a normal Creeper, was not meant to live. Let alone become a Player. He learned to speak, he learned to fight, he learned to build. Some things stayed the same. aka- the Domestic Creeper au.

____

Carpet Trick - CrazyCatMeow

You all know the double carpet trick right? What happens when that joint with a tired mad scientist meet.

Mob hybrids can't see carpets <3 extra silly and very lighthearted

____

Window Pane - blueticked

Tango and Impulse discuss the brand new presence of Helsknight.

It's not a coincidence that all the evil personas have red eyes.

Tango is a Hels, struggling with self-acceptance and his place in Hermitcraft, which was never meant to be for him. in my head ALL THE TIME

____

"I know" - KindaJustHere

Bdubs was used to death. He was used to being killed by his fellow hermits. He was very used to being killed by Grian. Maybe a little too much.

(This is based off Grian’s episode 61 of hermitcraft season 7 where Bdubs says “I know” and shoots himself) BDUBS SELF ESTEEM ANGST!! Griangst !!!! Emotionally fucked up Grian from YHS !!

____

Hiss and Scratch - TheNerdyTurtle96

Doc is a mad scientist who isn't afraid of anything. Actually, that's not true. His only weakness is cats.

exactly like it said it is . SO GOOD AND CUTE

____

For the Record - Anonymous

Tango shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I did. Xisuma’s teaching Impulse some Galactic Standard so he can cheat at enchanting or something. Apparently Xelqua’s, like, some sort of god in Xisuma’s culture? It was kind of unclear, I wasn’t paying attention when Impulse told me.”

“Huh,” Grian said vacantly. “How about that.”

oops! Grian is Xisuma's god. amazing

____ GrianMC - SixteenthDays

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Techno says frankly.

“You know,” Grian says again. “Your- Watchers.”

Techno squints for a moment before understanding visibly dawns behind his eyes. “Ohhh, you mean Chat?”

(On watchers, and Watchers.)

This IS technically a crossover but its more worldbuilding than anything else. its literally so funny. i love it

Crossover

These Days I Don't Feel Like Myself At All / Mercury (No One Can Unring This Bell) (Series Ongoing) - RoguishOne (DarkWolfMoon)

TommyInnit had died. Again. To Dream. Again. And it sucked exactly as much as he thought it would because he'd wanted to move on and have a chance to actually live this time. Seems he won't be getting that.

Then he gets pulled out of Limbo, but he doesn't wake up back in the cell with Dream or next to his bed on the server. He doesn't wake up on the Dream SMP at all.

Little does he know that this is the least of his worries.

i want to scream and cry and hypervenilate thinking about this fic series. literally cannot recommend it enough. your life will be ROCKED. THE WRITING IS SOOOOO OGOOOD . i just want to shake. i cannot put into words what this fic makes me feel.

____

Shells in the Foam (a Hermit!Tommy fanfic) - Cedarwhisp21

When Dream attacks Tommy in Logestshire, Tommy runs. Badly injured, he somehow manages to slip between worlds and wakes up in a badlands biome, on a server far from home, with no other players in sight.

The Hermits are surprised when a new player logs in, and confused when no-one's at spawn. Five days later, after waiting for the new player to introduce themselves, Xisuma uses his admin abilities to access their coordinates. He takes Impulse with him to welcome the new player to Hermitcraft, but instead of the beginnings of a base, they find something a lot more concerning.

NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. the NUMBER ONE kudo-ed hermit fic . by my beloved. and using the one of the beloved au by pertrichormeraki . its so good and im sooo glad i was here for the ride of seeing it unfold <3

____

let me give you a piece of my mind - Interjection

Dream and Grian practice building for MCC, and hold a conversation in the process.

Or,

Grian gives an outside perspective on Dream’s actions. Dream is having none of it.

Grian is a fucked up lil guy <3 Dream is a piece of shit

____

He would not die - Nicoforlife

If phil could save only one person from this place, that would be enough.

Tldr I made phil a watcher :)

Watcher Phil and Grian !! ! !!

____

Scared as hell - Nhi_theuserof_this

Grian was one of the closest people to Fundy at this point. He wants to be honest, really, but with the rest of his family history being a total train wreck, he spends an awkwardly long time dancing around what he wants to say.

Tldr; Grian is Fundy’s uncle, Fundy comes out to him

OK SO THIS ONE. WAS BASED OFF ONE OF MY AUS but i had to include it. ok .short and sweet

It was just a game - QuasarsFaults (UNFINISHED)

Taurtis Has been on the server awhile now, he's made new friends, a really tasty toritos shop, a new job working with Concorp, and he's even made this really cool pirate rollercoaster. So why did his and Scar's idea go so wrong?

OK. so i honest to god cannot remember if this is my au or if i just partook in it. i think its my au. who knows. either way seeing this again makes me want to work on my own Taurtis-Became-a-Hermit-Instead-of-Grian fic

Shipping

heartfelt confession - mysteryguest

it shouldn't come as a surprise to iskall, he thinks, when he finally settles on a term that feels just right. and yet, it is. and it's dreadful, feeling that urge, that need to tell someone, without knowing if they would accept you or not.

at least he knows the person he can trust the most with this info is his boyfriend, mumbo.

non-binary and bigender Mumskull !!! coming out. finding identity. finding pronouns.

____

I Hate You (I Promise I Don't) - BewitchingNotes

If someone asked Grian why he was relentlessly pranking Etho now that he was finally back in Hermitland, he'd say it was just for pure fun.

To Etho, it meant Grian was mad at him.

To everyone else, Grian had a huge crush on the redstone user and obviously didn't know how to communicate it.

OR: Grian just wants Etho's attention, Etho misreads this as Grian being mad at him, Grian thinks Etho hates him because of his pranks and everyone else just wants these boys to communicate properly already. Grian's love language is pranks...i love it

____ A Study Of Love in the Universe Itself - 2point5

Love had a strange meaning on Hermitcraft, where everyone loved each other. 

OR

Joe looks into the different ways he loves some of his fellow members, and what that means for him as a human.

ITS A SERIES TOO AND ITS SOOOO GOOD i love it . Joe x Cleo x Bdubs x Etho . what more could you want. and their sexualities and how they perceive love is . OAUGHHGHGGHHGHGHBHGHFHHVIJXFSHDF IUSDHIUSAHDUIA

[simulation-machine]

Controversial opinion: Being sick is not a good time

Hey y'all! Haven't really been around too much. I've been sick for the past week-and-change, (probably the 'VID or a sinus infection) (I didn't bother getting tested because I go literally nowhere and my partner, who does go places, tested negative).

Basically, I imagined Teen Lou and Esme cheering me on whenever I did Olympic-level feats like showering or making myself tea.

If for some reason you wanna know more, here's a cut because I suck at being pithy.

My body's response to getting sick is basically 1) whine so, so much and 2) sleep for 17 hours a day until conditions improve. Fortunately, my partner is very much a caretaker at heart and ensured I was fed and that the dogs were looked after. Oh, did I mention school started this past Monday? So yeah I haven't been online much.

On top of all that, my mom was hospitalized. I was on the phone with her wife every day and long story short, it was a combination of getting bronchitis and pneumonia at once, a blood clot in her liver KIDNEY, being on too high of a dose of 'beetus meds, and also being allergic to one of the antibiotics they put her on. Oh, and she has Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, which means they had to pay extra attention to her heart so she wouldn't have to get a 3rd ablation.

So, when I was online, it was on FB to let people know what was going on with my mom. FB is basically the equivalent of a mass text to everyone I know and I otherwise don't really get on it. ANYWAYS.

The #1 fear in my life, that I have had since I was a wee little kid, is my mother's untimely demise. She's been sick a lot throughout my life despite being a tough ol' broad who is the real-life inspiration for Destiny Child's "Survivor."

Which is to say that on top of being physically worn down, I have been endlessly emotionally exhausted as well. Like every update from my step-mom/mom's wife about her hospital stay would end in me crying and freaking out, having super vivid dreams about having to plan my mom's funeral (THANKS BUT NO THANKS NYQUIL, YOU NASTY YET SUCCESSFULLY CONGESTION-KILLING BITCH).

I have been playing Sims 4 still, but not the Orson's because I cannot be trusted when goofed up on cold meds. I've been playing a very casual game that sort of started off as a 100 Baby Challenge with Wicked Whims turned waaaaay up, but is now the story of 7 sisters who have the same mom but different dads.

I might show some pictures from that because some of those kids turned out hella cute and interesting. Plus I was needing a bit of a break from the Orsons anyways.

That's all! I'm feeling like 75% human these days so I'll likely be on a bit more, but mainly just wanted people to know that I didn't die or rage quit or anything.

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

yknow, I gotta say it

The Hazbin Hotels version of hell doesn't look like it sucks much at all. Like I get that there is violence, murder, rape, and stuff. But I think Blitz worded it best when he went to Earth that Hell just looks like a slightly worse version of LA. Like- it's shit, y'know. You gotta still pay for stuff, get sick, and shit like that, but you don't permanently die. Sure it's full of murderous fuckos, but you dont die unless you get exterminated or someone uses an angelic weapon on you.

And I understand succumbing to the violence and debauchery is what makes it mentally and emotionally bad, but like- it is not nearly as bad as what I thought Hell could be.

And I imagined Hell not even to be flames and blood, but like an interrogation room. With something torturing you for all eternity. Or just doing something to you that specifically tortured you for eternity. And maybe if you get used to the pain, then they just give you a new thing to cry about.

But this Hell, you can make friends. Party. Explore you freakish vices and etc. it just doesn't seem so scary and oooh I'm so scared to go a place that has sexy cannibalistic deer men and Lucifer is a short king, oh no~ whatever shall I do~?

I get it's no Heaven, but it's not the worst thing I could imagine he'll to be. I think a lot of people imagine a lot worse. Like dantes inferno or something.

You can even rise up to the top and become super powerful and then no one can even threaten you. Like- it's obviously not the best place to live, but the legroom your are given would be desirable to some people and don't even look like a punishment to others.

So it kind of throws me off when Emily and Charlie are like- they are suffering in eternal flames! And I'm thinking.... mmm, I mean, yes, but also they are getting their backs blown out by a hot lizard man every Thursday soo... hm.

And then I think what really solidified it for me was the Millie special where her and Sallie May went to a spa then an arcade?! And it got me realizing that you can still live a pretty normal afterlife. Sure you might get stabbed on your way to your porn shoot, but then you can stab whoever right back the following day. It's like a free for all. And the only way it's really hell is the other people there making it so. The saying that it's people that make life hell.

And it's also like- not everyone in hell is a power hungry blood thirsty psycho. In helluva boss there is that regular camper who we don't really know why they are in hell. So you could make some friends with some regular ass people. And even if you did befriend a psycho, it's not like they could permanently kill you unless they have a holy weapon. So it's like yeah-

[yanderes-galore]

Please I ask for a yandere alphabet Leonard (Halo Red VS Blue)??? Not sure if it sent before so feel free to delete this if it did

Sure! I did The Alpha and not Epsilon, if you wanted Epsilon please tell me next time :) Sorry for the long wait and if it isn't the best... falling out of motivation for Alphabets recently.

Original Church (Alpha) Concept Here

Yandere Alphabet - Leonard L. Church

(The Alpha)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Violence, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Controlling behavior, Kidnapping, Overprotective behavior, Stalking, Isolation, Slight delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

At first he just isn't very affectionate. He doesn't entirely like dealing with people, even his obsession at first. However... Things soon change.

Once he comes to terms with the fact he's obsessed with you... He's much more caring and affectionate. He's awkward about it but tries his best with hugs and... kisses if he can do those (Robot...).

He really tries to show you he cares... even if he sucks at it.

In terms of intensity, I'd say he's moderate. He isn't the worst.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He isn't going to kill anyone unless they tried to hurt you. However, I can see him getting into fights with others if they're too close to you. For example, Tucker would be someone he'd fight with over you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I'm thinking things like fist fights and grappling, unless he snapped or is forced he won't pull a gun on anyone.

If you got hurt, however? Yeah... Then he may just pull out all the stops.

I imagine he tries to be patient and caring to the best of his ability. He wouldn't mock you and would actually try to care for you and respect you. However... He isn't the best at it without getting a bit frustrated at the fact you're not responding well.

That's a big part of Church, he tries... with not the best results.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Not really, he actually wants to allow you to get comfortable with him before trying anything.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Church doesn't seem like he'd be very vulnerable. He's actually very closed off emotionally. So he isn't super open with you.

He may vent sometimes though.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Frustrated, but said frustration may soon turn to disappointment at you fighting him.

Can't you see he's trying to be a good partner for you?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and he doesn't like you trying to leave him. Is he just not putting enough work in for you to like him?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When it comes to RvB, it's hard to answer this question. However, I'd say him kidnapping you or you just finding out about his... Obsession with you. They both most likely happen together, actually.

You try to distance yourself from him after learning the truth... And he cuts you off and drags you away.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He isn't quite sure. He just knows you make him feel... Human and happy. So maybe a future away from all the chaos with just you would be what he wants.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Yes and he would be childish about it. He's pouty and passive aggressive when you "neglect" him. The others on Blue Team already know how much of a fit he has when you aren't paying attention to him.

He can both find a way to cope or lash out. Depends on how jealous he is and how far his obsession has progressed.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Obsessive, Controlling, Manipulative, Jealousy, Childish, In denial, Cold, Clingy behavior, Temperamental, Insecure.

He's... a mess.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

He'd be in denial for a long time, often distancing himself from you. However, as time goes on, he realizes you're the most rational one in the group other than him.

He finds himself growing increasingly more worried for you. Often to the point of watching you through his sniper scope. It's not stalking... It's "looking out for you."

It's stalking.

As a result... He allows himself to get a bit closer. Soon closer becomes too close with you. Once you're the most important thought in his mind, he's gone too far in.

He tries to be more caring. He tries his best to appeal to you. He doesn't care how long it takes....

Now that he can't ignore you anymore... You're both going to be stuck with one another.

Not really, no.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Isolation is I think the furthest he'd go other than scolding you. He doesn't want to hurt you.

Others ogling you isn't your fault, right?

As many as he feels he needs to in order to make you his.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He tries really hard to be patient. He feels if he is... You'll fall for him. He just needs to give you time.

Although... His patience begins to falter the longer you fight with him. Eventually you'll love him... Won't you?

Or does he need a different approach?

Probably not. He'd feel horrible if he lost you because you were the only one who he felt understood him other than Tex. He would not be the same mentally if he lost you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little and maybe.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

It's complicated with him... Hard to say what exactly makes him drawn to you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He isn't quite sure what to do but does what he can to comfort you.

Even if you kick and scream at him about it.

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Reciprocating just enough to keep him under control is the first thing that comes to my mind.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not intentionally.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I want to say he's a worship yandere... But I'm not entirely sure how?

He'd do anything to make you comfortable with him, yet he struggles with it.

He can't seem to process his emotions....

Months? Probably months as you live together in Blood Gulch.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally.

[davekat-sucks]

Wow amazing art but this is strike one. Yiffy was the inevitable failure of postcanon, even with the new union and art team, her very existence ruins Rosemary, ruins Jade, ruins the setting and pisses off the fanbase no matter what you do.

Remove Yiffany and you retcon a major plot point of postcanon and the 4th kid for the new kids for the Candy timeline, keep her in and Jade is still a futanari who imposed herself on Rose to ruin the fanbase’s favorite lesbian couple and raise the kid with a fascist because… people on Earth C are too nosy.

Yiffany destroyed all hype for the original Homestuck^2 when she was revealed, even for as mediocre as the comic started out as, there were fans and speculation, which turned to spite for being so poorly handled. Even now with the new team, r/homestuck at least seems to enjoy the new content (excluding a few voices and r/englishpumpkinparty) but clearly any content with yiffany is gonna piss someone off.

Literally if Hussie just stopped at the epilogues the fandom would like postcanon more. It would have its detractor but it’s easier to defend the epilogues than Beyond Canon.

I can actually understand and connect why Jade and Jane became the way they are in the epilogues. Jane’s encounters with trolls were awful and the mothergrub does lay thousands of eggs to deal with such a low rate of successful brooding grubs. Jade was alone on her island and in a ship for 3 years (post retcon) and needs human connection desperately. My issue was the epilogues do a very one-dimensional and extreme version of these characters and justifies this by saying “no one checked in on them or helped” over the course of a 7 year timeskip and even after the characters did a whole webcomic where the point was friendship and connection is healthy for a human to develop emotionally to maturity, are we seriously doing this theme again?!

But Jane in Beyond Canon is a villain with barely any screen time or dialogue to ramble about why she’s “doing the right thing” and Jade is stripped of any nuance to this invasive and careless brat who tries to gain sympathy by whining about how much her life sucked/still sucks

I swear, this comic will go on hiatus again by the end of 2024 (if everything goes right) or on 4/13 (if it all goes wrong)

At least Jade was justified because 1. She didn't know how Grandpa English died and only came to the shocking realization she accidentally killed him (Tavros had also intervened too during this). 2. She had to grow up alone on an ISLAND and has no social cues how to properly act. Sure she would have Internet, movies, games, and books to read. But they aren't the true basis of human connection. 3. Neither Hussie, James, or anyone in WhatPumpkin/HICU had given a reason why Bec couldn't just teleport her to meet with the others since he still had Space Powers. Some could say because it would ruin the plot and Sburb wouldn't happen that it only took the meddling of MSPA READER in Pesterquest to do it. Her situation is just as shit like Jake English. And look how the series, writers, and nu-fandom shit on Jake despite his conditions is just the same, if not WORSE because of the lusus animals trying to attack him that he had always be training to survive for his life. At this point, drop any faith you have in James Roach and Beyond Canon. Apologize. And hope that this will fail hard that James and Hussie will just let the fandom make up their own ending. Even say DO NOT GIVE James Roach any money if they do go through with the Homestuck merch and vinyl. You are better off supporting the fandom itself. Pay for commissions, buy fan merch on places like Etsy, etc. Do not give shitty people like James or Hussie any cash. Go give Toby Fox some love too. Because he is one of the few sane people left and is successful outside of Homestuck.

[diwooc]

uhhhhhh can i get a.... Diluc #1, 3, 8, 17, 32, and 46? oh, and a 26 with Kaeya. aaaaand a large 25 with a side of 27. to go.

Canon I outright reject

So I'm not sure if there's a canon I outright reject - I do reject his cute baby face though, I am not going to lie.

I also outright reject that he's twunky and is more masculine. Thicker, muscular, but he is short.

Obscure headcanon

He is passively suicidal with very little to no self preservation (this is seen in canon, he actively puts himself in danger). If he were to die, his thoughts would not really be on the idea of survival but more, "Oh. Well, this is okay. Retribution for my own sins."

Also a sillier, cuter one: he makes anonymous donations to the new animal shelter in Mondstadt and has a big soft spot for them. The winery is just crawling with different critters and he has named each and everyone, including the pigs, and that goddamn rooster that chases him every morning. (He also likes to keep an eye on Diona if Kaeya cannot - makes sure she gets to Springevale safely if she's working at the Cat's Tail).

He has nightmares about the night he killed his father and is still hesitant to ever celebrate his own birthday.

I DO NOT KNOW if this is obscure either BUT it was Arlecchino he fought and it was Yelan who saved him and recruited him, tyvm.

Unpopular opinion about them

He's still good game wise. He's still fun, and Diluc is actually an incredibly nice person deep down. If anyone ever pays attention to the dialogue or have read his lines will know that he's a gentle soul, and there's still bits of the old him that comes out, but unfortunately he's learned to hide it and push it away.

Since fandom treats this as canon even though it's more a misunderstanding, I'm gonna say this:

Diluc does not hate Kaeya. Diluc is awkward and uncomfortable and awful with feelings, things are tense between the two of them but in no way does he hate Kaeya. In fact, he still cares about Kaeya (a lot) and vice versa. And will work with him on need to know basis.

ALSO he's not a dick to Venti. He's a lot nicer than what he lets on. His comments about Venti's bill is just him making jabs, Diluc is not the best in the beginning with joking or teasing so it falls short. Yes, he gets annoyed with Venti - quite often - but he respects Venti and does view him more as a friend and a guide than, "that annoying, homeless bard who keeps stealing from me". If he actually had any sort of issues with Venti pilfering from the Winery or leaving a large, open tab, he would actively do something about it. Archon or not.

He's not an asshole, he's emotionally repressed.

Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Monster, No Longer You "My heart cracked in my body." Rupi Kapur, The Sun and her Flowers “ i have everything and yet i am unhappy. ” Rupi Kapur, The Sun and her Flowers "i barely feel like living." Rupi Kapur, The Sun and her Flowers you are a wild, unkempt thing

Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

He really, really adores dad jokes. Animals. Lumine's presence (as the Traveler). Kaeya

The person they most admire

Adelinde. And Jean.

What they would do if stuck in an elevator with Kaeya

So - they wouldn't be stuck in the elevator for long. Both of these men - for as much as they care about each other in their own way - will work together to get the elevator unstuck. They're both very smart but Kaeya is the better planner, the brains if you will, while Diluc is the brawns.

They'd work quicker than the cops or fire department.

3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

His Vision, some clothes, his claymore. He's had experience in the wild before, he knows how to survive. It'll suck but maybe there will be less bloodshed this time.

Their guilty pleasure

Romance novels.

(actually being interested in the day to day gossip of Mondstadt that has nothing to do with the Abyss Order or Fatui)

light novels from yae publishing house the isekai ones with the very long names leave him alone

ASK GAME

[deeplyridiculouslyinlove]

My dad just tested positive for covid for the third time (I think he may have had it at least one other time though), and wow it’s amazing how much you can think you’ve prepared yourself emotionally for shitty things to happen but really you haven’t at ALL and everything is just sitting *right there* waiting for the moment that shitty thing actually happens.

My dad is 72 and has had some heart issues and refuses to take literally any covid precautions despite living a pretty high covid risk lifestyle. Like refuses to take precautions to the extent that I gave him and my stepmom an air purifier to use in the house just as a super easy thing they can do to help reduce risk if they have friends over or if one of them gets it first - and they put that air purifier in the guest room where it sits powered off… And so I really thought after my dad’s last infection that I had emotionally grappled with the fact that the pandemic is very likely going to decrease what his lifespan otherwise would have been (or at least his quality of life eventually), and could very well mean my future children won’t get to know him that well, and all these other fears about the future. Because statistically that’s very likely for an older person getting covid repeatedly for the rest of his life, but also there’s literally nothing I can do to control his behavior, we could all get hit by a bus tomorrow, etc. etc. Yet then this happens and I’m a wreck so I guess actually I hadn’t dealt with that sadness and anxiety at all!

But also I haven’t seen him since Christmas and I was supposed to see him next week, and now I don’t know if I’ll be able to see him again before my wedding. And just generally, him and my stepmom caring so little about covid makes it difficult for me to visit them, since my history of long covid means I really *cannot* be careless about it. And then when his attitude about it is just, “welp, this sucks but I guess that’s life!” it kills me, because like - it doesn’t have to be! It’s possible to pay attention to wastewater and wear a mask when covid is surging. It’s possible to know you’re seeing your daughter for the first time in 8 months while covid is surging and wear a mask indoors for the week before you see her. Yes covid isn’t under our control but it’s also not the weather, you have SOME control over the likelihood of it popping up at certain times.

Obviously I don’t want to go back to the lockdown part of the pandemic, but I do really miss when people had literally any inkling of community care about a disease that is causing all sorts of health problems, including some really bad ones for some folks :( Especially my dad, who for 30 years I would have said would do anything for me. It turns out the one thing he won’t do is try in *any way*or at *any* time to avoid covid so we can see each other.

[weirdo09]

motion sickness

a s4 mike wheeler-centric song fic

‘i hate you for what you did’ ‘and i miss you like a little kid’ ‘i faked it every time, but that’s alright’ ‘i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all’

as much as mike would hate to admit it, he missed the byers so much more than he lead on. hell, when they left, he felt like a piece of his soul was taken away and he thought that he would never get that piece back. for the person he missed the most would never answer the phone, not that mike could blame him, he acted like a total ass the last time he saw will. mike could never forgive himself. ‘you really are an asshole, mike wheeler.’

‘you gave me fifteen hundred to see your hypnotherapist’ ‘i only went one time, you let it slide’ ‘fell on hard times a year ago’ ‘was hoping you let it go and you did’

mike would say that he’s an asshole and everyone around him would believe it, probably because he’s right or at least he thinks so. he would also say that he feels exhausted but not just physically. lately, it just feels like the world tries kill him in every way possible and everyone else seems to pay no attention. god, mike wishes will was here, he was the only person who understood him well at least until he went all asshole on will and probably messed up their friendship forever. ‘you are such a dick.’

‘i have emotional motion sickness’ ‘somebody roll the windows down’ ‘there are no words in the english language’ ‘i could scream to drown you out’

truth be told, mike was considered an emotional child. not that they were wrong but it felt weird considering that being emotional also contributed to being called queer. he absolutely hated this fact that he was emotional, very emotional these days. it felt like something he’d gone through before but also not. he couldn’t get out of bed, barely had the energy to eat or do anything at all and slowly started to drift away from everyone. as this self pity soon turned into something bigger, it began to overwhelm him. everyday seemed like torture and he felt like screaming at himself for his emotions. ‘emotions make me wanna puke.’

‘i’m on the outside looking through’ ‘you’re throwin’ rocks across your room’ ‘and while you’re bleeding on your back in the glass’ ‘i’m glad that i’ve made it out’ ‘and sorry that it all went down like it did’

sometimes, mike goes outside to think. it’s too loud on the house, even with his racing thoughts added to the mix. he fondly thinks of some of the nice memories he had with will. they went to the quarry to skip rocks. it was practically a third hangout to them besides castle byers and mike’s basement. will tripped and scratched his back, he laughed it off when it happened saying ‘it’s ok, mike, i’m clumsy!’ mini mike freaked out when it happened, rushing to the byers. will’s back was bleeding and everything, he fussed that they were taking it entirely too serious. mike now chuckled at the memory, he wonders if will’s still as selfless as he used to be. then the self-deprecating thoughts surface and he hates himself all over again, such routine.

‘i have emotional motion sickness’ ‘somebody roll the windows down’ ‘there are no words in the english language’ ‘i could scream to drown you out’

mike seriously regretting being born, not that was his choice. emotions seem to be high every day and it sucks. he feels like he’s drowning and no one’s there. his mom’s always there physically but never emotionally, his dad’s also a no go, he’s practically a wall at this point. his sisters probably wouldn’t understand either for nancy has college things and is constantly worrying about her relationship with jonathan and holly, who’s 6 shouldn’t have all of that handed to her. ‘i’m such a burden.’

‘hey, why do you sing in an english accent?’ ‘i guess it’s too late to change it now’ ‘you know i’m never gonna let you have it’ ‘but i will try to drown you out’

one of the things that seems to drown out his thoughts is music. preferably indie rock or anything loud enough. he also sings from time to time mostly the smiths, probably where the english accent came from but it’s too late now. though, the thoughts don’t stop forever, it’s worth trying right?

‘you said when you met you were bored’ x2 ‘and you, you were in a band when i was born’

mike thinks that people get bored of him easily mostly because he gets bored of people easily too. he said that he was always bored until he met will on that fall of ‘76. that day seemed to change him forever and for that he’d be forever grateful. ‘guess i’m not such an asshole after all.’

‘i have emotional motion sickness’ ‘i try to stay clean and live without’ ‘and i wanna know what would happen’ ‘if i surrender to the sound’ ‘surrender to the sound’

mike would say that will’s his drug, his happy chemical and since he moved, he feels like a shadow unable to be happy. sometimes he wonders what would happen if he’d let the thoughts win, maybe just for a while the world would go quiet and he’s finally be happy because what’s life without his cleric, his will the wise?

@unprofessionalprofessional @foodiewithdahoodie @adorewillbyers @delusional-dingus @xhavibee @verashalurks

[dancing-to-architecture]

37 - Muse - Black Holes and Revelations (2006)

As Mellon Collie was to high school, this album was to college/post-college. I have some pretty distinct mentors of driving around Bloomington-Normal with this album cranked.

Here's hoping it doesn't also emotionally devastate me!

Take a Bow-

i believe in every single word of this song, unironically.

Incredibly violent things need to happen to every single one of the terrible people in power.

Starlight-

I will never understand the fear some people have of alien life, and i can day with zero hesitation that if they offered me a way off this rock, i would take it.

Supermassive Black Hole-

(Because the girl he's talking about really, REALLY sucks.)

Fun fact: a girl i was seeing at the time wanted to sing this one with me at karaoke.

That relationship didn't work out for a wonderful and complicated variety of terrible reasons with a whole cast of characters at fault.

...I didn't see the irony in her song choice for quite some time.

Map of the Problematique-

"I can't get it right since i met you"

Yeah, i already talked about the bad relationship this album is associated with in my brain, let's not belabor the point.

Soldier's Poem-

(If it's not scrawled in Sharpie on a latrine wall, is it REALLY a "soldier's poem"? Just saying.)

So, this album came out in 2006. The US invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan ended with a spectacular plop in 2021, but even in 2006 anyone who was paying attention knew that we were just wasting lives, money, influence, and time on some horrible bullshit that George W only did to make his daddy smile.

I defy any soldier not to resonate with the lyrics, here.

"How could you send us so far away from home?

When you know damn well that this is wrong

-

There's no justice in this world

And there never was."

Invincible-

Please, please, let all of this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair. They may kill some of us, but they know that they can't kill all of us.

Question is: will you die on your feet, or on your knees?

Assassin-

Okay, see, i was worried about this album putting me down a bad mental rabbit hole regarding one of the worst breakups in my life, but I'm starting to think this album might actually be why I'm an anarchist.

I'm still eternally amazed that in a nation that has so many crazies and so many guns, we haven't had that many political assassinations, all things said and done.

I guess the right-wing psycho spree killers nowadays go after softer targets... like schools.

Exo-politics-

The recent drippings of military disclosure about UAP (unexplained aerial phenomena) still makes me feel like it's an op.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy myself, yeah, i would bet that there's stuff our government knows regarding alien life, but they have to sit on it because "releasing evidence that destroys the very concept of all organized human religions" might be a Bad Thing.

•City of Delusion-

"Destroy this city of delusion

And break these walls down

And i will avenge

And justify my reasons with your blood

You will not rest or settle for less

Until you guzzle and squander what's left

Do not deny

That you live and let die."

Eat. The. Rich.

•Hoodoo-

"I've had recurring nightmares that i was loved for who I am

And missed the opportunity to be a better man."

Yeah, i get that.

•Knights of Cydonia-

Honestly this one always just brings me back to one of the better party nights I can remember, me and a few buddies from college (two of whom are now openly living as trans women and ladies, i love you both and miss the hell out of ya) drinking and playing guitar hero 2 until we developed what we referred to as "the twisted claw" trying to get through this and Metallica's "One" on hard/expert.

Any other thing i might derive from this song is simply overwhelmed by that memory, though "Don't waste your time or time will waste you." is one hell of a great line and the video is incredible and should be watched.

•Glorious-

Wait, where did this come from? Knights was the last song on the album, wasn't it? Oh, it's on the Japanese release. Okay.

The guitar kicks ass on this one, the climbing chords just go on and on..

Has a big "there will be fighting, but i assure you, it will be worth it" vibe, but honestly i think Knights is the better album-closer.

Gotta say, it's pretty nice anticipating a swath of emotional trauma and instead ending this album fired up, ready to lace up my combat boots and kick the shit out of a fascist, while also pretty depressed that they called what's happening over fifteen years ago.

Favorite Track: Knights of Cydonia forever

Least Favorite Track: Supermassive Black Hole and all the bad feelings associated with it.

[daynitemare]

Hello son. I have felt so far away from you today, physically and emotionally. The suffering is so intense, there are days like yesterday when I felt I was loosing my mind and days like today where I feel somewhat disconnected, like I’m alone in the world and I can only think that it’s my mind still trying to protect itself. Who says that a person can’t destroy another, specially your child who you expect it from the least. I don’t recognize you, the tone you talk to me, the things you say, your cruelty when you see me and hear me suffer and I am the same mom I was, the one that loves you more than anything and would give my life for you in an instant. You are the one that is different but unfortunately not for the better at least when it comes to our relationship. You have pushed me away and are not allowing me to do what I love most, be your mom. You have lost your sense of joking around with me, your sense of joy and the simpleness of just talking in a natural way. Maybe I have changed too who knows, it’s impossible to go thru all this pain and not have it affect you. As a mother your heart and mind can only take so much and I was already pretty spent. Your dad is destroyed even though he doesn’t tell you, he says this situation that has been created Sucks. He suffers too and misses you and all he does is work like crazy.

Most days I wake up and wish I was dead or wish I would naturally die since I don’t have an urge to kill myself even though at this point I should or I could but so far I don’t. I do look at the ocean and sometimes think about how it would be to just walk into it peacefully and never come out but I just don’t have the urge to.

I wish you would love me the way you used to because it’s clear that you don’t. We can’t really understand why it is so hard for you. Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes or says things they don’t mean at times but most of the time they realize it and they try to correct it or explain it and correct it. There are no perfect parents just like there are no perfect kids. Nobody is perfect! But I feel that in the skim of things we were and are good and loving parents NOT Perfect. I hope you feel that whatever you feel I did to you is worth the extreme emotional, physical and mental pain you are causing me. I hope it pays off for you.

[firestingray]

Venting

Rent keeps going up because the population keeps growing and the city has to be the new tech hotspot because ruining san francisco wasn't enough for tech companies. it's impossible to live anywhere except some "refurbished" shithole hotel or some equally shitty weekly, and even then, it's almost 1600 a month for a fucking tiny studio that the people who already live there can barely afford. sure I could work 2 jobs for it, but if I did, I'd just want to kill myself, so instead, because I don't want to be homeless, I get to stay with my emotionally abusive trumper nutcase aunt who makes it a point to constantly tell me about how much she doesn't want me here. I can't get a better job that pays more because I don't have a high school education or equivalent, so I'm stuck doing shit dead-end minimum wage jobs. I can't talk to anyone on or offline, and making new friends is nigh impossible because I have horrible social anxiety that makes talking to anyone the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I don't do drugs or drink, my interests are way too niche and interacting with people who like the same shit I like sucks most of the time, and I'm such an extreme introvert that trying to interact with anyone just makes me come off as standoffish. I'm also fat and going bald, and I'm stuck in a body I hate. The only time I'm ever happy is when I'm with my girlfriend, but we never get to hang out that often so I'm just fucking miserable most of the time. All the friends I cared about fucking moved because they hate it here too and they barely fucking talk to me anymore and my best friend is now for sure moving away in January. I want to move in with my girlfriend and be with her for the rest of my life, but talking to her about it is hard to do even if she says she also wants it and she has own problems keeping her at her own place and in town. I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. This is seriously the most miserable ive ever been in my life and I just don't know what to fucking do at this point

[sweetestdaisies]

I don't think I'm gonna make it to the end of the year, and it sucks because I started this year so hopeful. I was so sure things would stay with me being ok still. But here I am, spiraling back to where I was when I was 14. Back then, all I had to worry about was getting to school and back. Everything else was taken care of—food, shelter, everything. I didn’t have to think about anything else. But now, it’s all on me. I have to take care of myself, and worse, I have to keep pretending everything’s okay. I have to protect the people I care about from my own mess because they can’t know how bad it really is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tell my therapist about it because she will want to send me to the hospital and I can’t go back. I need the money. I can’t take time off work, I don’t have enough leave. But i hate this job. I need to complete my university placement. But i hate this degree. I can’t deal with the disappointment from my family and their sadness. I already know the conversation. “You were doing so well. Why did you let this happen again?”. But i hate being made to feel bad about not being ok. I know i will be dumped because who the fuck wants to date a chick that can’t regulate her emotions enough to where she can’t keep herself safe as a grown adult. I can’t talk to any of my friends because they don’t know the extent of how bad it is. But i hate that i can’t be open with someone who won’t judge or be emotional about it. I can’t kill myself because if I do i will upset everyone around me. I will embarrass my friends and family. I will have people thinking how selfish i am to do that. But i don’t want to fucking be alive. I don’t. Everything is easier if I am gone. For me and for them! I mean if they could just think about easy life would be. I won’t another expense they may have to pay for, or burden to deal with emotionally. I won’t be another argument they may have or annoyance with me doing something stupid. I won’t be another chore they have to do something for or talk to or text back. All the hardships i have given these people and will continue to give is gone! Erased! Why wouldn’t they want that? Why wouldn’t they want to stop themselves from the future anger, sadness, frustration they will feel with a lifetime of me. All they have to do is experience grief for a week. But i can’t do anything. Cause its alllllll abouttttt making other people feel better.

[reachingmygoalsss]

June 29th, 2024

Damn the last 2 months were crazy. My Birthday 🎂 May 16th started with my dog shitting blood. My coworkers and everyone was super nice to me that week but I was stressing because my dad was about to get diagnosed with cancer. My dog had to be rushed into emergency surgery and I had to ask for money for the first time ever from my dad for the down-payment.

This was the hardest part for me. I have never asked for money from my parents I barely want gifts from them because it feels like a trap. I don't fucking trust them and I had to ask for help. He ended up cosigning on a loan which I have to pay back anyway which is fine. I make those payments on time.

That month they were sueing my moms sister for custody and lost the guardianship to her. I think that's why my dad got cancer all the stress from another fucking lawsuit. All the hate when they could have worked together is super frustrating. They tore my family apart and I had to ask for help.

My dog got the help she needed but the cost was my mom trying to force me to play jester to my dad to cheer him up and using the money as a guilt trip. I fucking hate their guts. When I talk to them I feel invaded and they just shit on me the entire time, tell me my business, or just in general are negative dicks. I stood up to her and told her no to dictating my relationship with my dad. Then the response was her forcing him to cut me off and blocking me. It was the last ploy to pull at strings in the conversation because she knew if she cut me off I wouldn't care.

The following week after was a mix of feelings like how could he let her do this to me, etc. But like it's no different from when I was 5 telling me my mother couldn't help being emotionally disregulated, and I should just let her treat me like that. Then, I started to realize how much he has actually done to me. I had been upset with my mom the whole time, but he was equally the problem, and I didn't know until now.

It was a lot of physical pain on my back for months. My home feeling invaded, etc. It ended up being all of them. especially my father, who doesn't want me to succeed because he wants me back in the house to drain from me. None of them have their own lives they just shit on everyone and everything. So I got a session with Kat and a reading from Tara.

The reading from Tara we healed a past life and that's what Kickstarted the standing up for what I believe in and my mom cutting me off. 2 days after was Kat.

All of this lack of trust, fighting and frustration sucks. I told her everything and it ended up being them in my home hooking their energy in. When we cleared it I had a spy bird my dogs killed at the back door. We are on a 2nd floor apartment with a small ass porch. Poltergeist shit started happening. Things flying off the walls, my favorite cup breaking. The day after my dad's brother reaching out to me to check on me (never does that generally doesn't give af) because my dad felt my presence leave. I lost 7lbs that week from getting everything off they had put on me. All of it left me and I felt better for the first time in MONTHS.

This Kickstarted looking at what my dad was actually doing to me. Turns out he was the worst one because of his codependency issues. I also returned any sexual energy that was siphoned and felt A LOT come back. From my mom and my dad. I have since cut all of them off and I'm officially never going to talk to them ever again.

Then I got laid off which was expected from my job and I already got another one lined up but I now have Covid because I need to rest. I learned my lack of trust has lead to severe burnout and illness and every time I get sick and feel that pain in my stomach to where I need to go to the ER someone dies in my family. Got that last weekend and my Uncle died on my mom's side. He was a drug addict and had a heart attack in the middle of the night. This lead to my dad reaching out for the first time in a month for the update. I talked to him and felt invaded all over again. Felt like I was going schizophrenic and finally cleared their shit out of my house and body. I will not be invaded, manipulated, or controlled emotionally.

I'm at this point where I'm really fucking done with all of it. Officially I don't give af if he has cancer or if someone dies when every time I talk to them I spiral and burnout. I can't do it anymore they are all dead to me. No guilt or shame can make me feel good about being around them ever again. This is my good riddance.

My future I'm focusing on going slower and relaxing. Making my own space, expanding my business. Spending time with my girls and boyfriend. Growing and bettering my relationship and making new friends. As well as bettering my relationship with my spirit guides and updating my systems. Healing my shit and going more into my divine feminine and not giving a fuck. I will not ever let anyone eat from my table again that will just shit on me later to everyone. I'm done, and I love the life I am curating. I will not let anyone or anything compromise this life I have built from NOTHING. With no help. This is my life and mine alone, and NO ONE is entitled to my time or energy. Fuck them all.