#to maintain that 18+ illusion

[rainbowgod666]

Cant leave this in the tags because it lands a point only fukcing FLASHGITZ understood

Teenagers dont have ANYTHING: they could study, but thats boring. They could watch youtube, but its post 2021 so We're Fucked. They could go outside and... get arrested for existing. They could play videogames but then get yelled at by their parents for effectively no reason. And honestly the more the world understands that Hey, Hazbin Hotel And Space King Are For Teenagers And One Is For Girls And The Other Is For Boys the better.

Granted that whole "target audience is teenagers" thing has some... VERY BAD implications. But lets just say that THIS is what we CAN give teens because everything post 2019 is just CN shows (craig of the creek is HARD carrying toghether with TAWOG and we should be kinda grateful, BUT FFS RERUN BEN 10 CLASSIC AND ONWARDS AND ALSO STEVEN UNIVERSE I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK-) and all that.

What happens when everyone has run out of things to do? What happens when TV must be reformed?

Simple. We hope the corpse of 4kids stays the fuck down.

i have to watch hazbin hotel, like imagine if it was secretly good. thatd be nuts

[embbarnes]

Honey Badger. | Worst L.H.

summary: You use Logan’s mask to keep him close.

warnings: Smut | 18+ MDNI | Slight pining | Masturbation | Orgasm Denial | Cunnilingus | Swearing | Dirty talk

a/n: I haven't written anything for Logan in a couple months, I had an old blog for him but I haven't posted there in a while and won't be posting there anymore. I don't know if I'll write him a lot on here since this is a Bucky focused blog, but I might if it's well received. Unedited, will edit out/fix mistakes later. ;; wc: 5.5k

You weren't sure what it was.

Maybe it was Wade's stupid joke that he kept pressing on. He wouldn't let the comment die, teasing Logan as much as possible about his mask. Those blowjob handles made Logan look like the 'perfect sex toy,' Wade would say.

Then his mouth would get him three adamantium claws through his skull.

It only took him a few minutes to regenerate the damage to his brain, even though Logan was convinced he never healed his stupid mind.

You never teased Logan about it, you just didn't, it wasn't something you felt like riling him up about.

But the thought stuck in the back of your mind.

You wondered how it would feel to have his face buried between your legs, your hands tugging on those wings and pulling him even closer, feeling his tongue and rough stubble scratching your -

"Hey," Logan rose his arm from where it rested on the back of the couch and lightly tapped the back of your head, looking at you from his spot beside you on the couch. You blinked, snapping out of your train of thought and looking over at him, his eyebrow rose slightly as he observed you with an odd expression. "I asked you somethin'."

"Oh...sorry," you apologized, clearing your throat with a slight cough. "I was just...lost in thought." You waved your hand a bit, trying to push those inappropriate thoughts down. You liked him, a lot. But your relationship wasn't romantic, it was more like casual friends. Which hurt, but you didn't have the balls to let him know how you felt. Everything just felt worse when Logan seemed to regard you with a slight fondness that both thrilled and tormented you.

Wade was tolerated in Logan's eyes, even though the pair were pretty close despite Logan's repetitive denial about their relationship. Sometimes, he did what he could to avoid Wade entirely, because he just couldn't handle the man's incessant chatter and irreverent humor. The vulgarity got on his nerves after a while.

You desperately wanted to be with Logan, but the weight of his traumatic past and his obvious wariness towards romantic entanglements held you back from broaching the subject. You wondered if Logan had picked up on your feelings despite your efforts to remain indifferent, but with his enhanced senses and two centuries of life experience, you wouldn't be surprised if he had.

The thought that he might be able to detect your physical responses to his presence - the quickening of your pulse, the flush of your skin, the subtle changes in your scent - was mortifying. But, Logan's silence on the matter provided a small measure of comfort, allowing you to maintain the illusion of normalcy in your interactions.

If he had known, he kept his mouth shut.

You had been helping him in the task of cleaning his suit, you offered after seeing the state it was in. Once pristine and immaculate, the suit had endured a gauntlet of abuse when Wade grabbed him from his world and the duo decided to confront Cassandra. Their ill-advised and unnecessary altercations during their, as Wade would put it ‘bonding trip,’ had inflicted significant damage upon his attire. The suit had been unblemished, but now bore the unmistakable marks of their reckless fighting, riddled with an assortment of unsightly holes and ragged tears.

Your gaze lingered on the vibrant yellow suit sprawled across your lap, Logan remained seated beside you, his brow furrowed. "Ya nearly impaled yourself with that needle," he remarked, gesturing towards your hands with a slight nod of his head. Logan had been observing you intently as you thoroughly stitched a particularly nasty gash in his suit, not out of worry, but he was very particular with the thing and how it looked on him.

Your movements were normally very precise, but they had become increasingly erratic and shaky as you went about fixing his suit. Your steady hand that guided the needle through the fabric now wavered, your focus clearly compromised by the gradual intrusion of less than innocent thoughts of Logan’s tongue buried in your pussy, it had taken over your mind and distracted you completely like an invasive parasite.

"Impaled is an exaggeration..." You mumbled back, continuing to fix the hole in the softer fabric. You desperately tried to ignore the fact that your underwear felt especially damp, but it was getting harder to do that with his musky scent of cigars and auburn alcohol in your nose. It made you throb, you wanted to smell him closer, to breathe in his body as you both laid tangled together, nose pressing against his muscular neck while his arms kept you flush to him.

"Not from what I saw, darlin'." Logan grunted, his eyes averting back to the tv. You swallowed thickly, focusing back on the task at hand to get this done as quickly as possible so you could go take care of yourself in the bedroom. It was driving you crazy, and you kept shifting on the cushion, each little movement sending a jolt through your clit as your poor bud swelled in your panties and commanded attention.

Your work paid off, you had successfully tended to his suit and you held it up to ensure you had gotten each tear fixed and buffed out some parts of the harder armor that were on the suit. It looked as new as it could, navy and yellow shining in the dim lighting of the apartment, and you held it up for Logan's final inspection. He took a swig of the bottle of beer he had been drinking, the sweaty glass dripped onto his lap and his Adam's apple bobbed while he swallowed a mouthful of alcohol.

Logan pulled the bottle from his mouth, his tongue darted out to lick the droplet from his bottom lip while his eyes scrutinized every single inch of his suit. You held it steady, waiting for his incoming verdict.

"S'good." He stated gruffly, which was probably the most you were going to get from him. It was a relief, because you were desperate to get to your bedroom. Your legs trembled as you set his suit down over the arm of the couch. Logan watched your shaky movements, figuring you had only been a little unsteady after holding up his suit. It wasn't light after all, so he didn't think twice about it.

You finally made it to the safety of your bedroom, shutting the door and falling back onto your bed, breathing hard as you tried to fiddle with your pants and underwear. They peeled from your core, hot and wet, your panties were soaked with your embarrassing arousal.

'God damnit Logan...' You had to focus on getting out an orgasm or you were sure you'd go crazy. Your fingers brushed your sensitive clit, a soft moan breathlessly escaped through your parted lips and you fisted the sheets with your other hand. You were so sensitive, but you had been edged and teased just from his fucking presence.

Were you insane?

You laid on your bed, legs shamelessly falling open as your fingers worked your body. You teased your tender pearl, slow circles around her as you imagined it were Logan's tongue, feeling her throb beneath the pad of your index. You took a steady, deep breath, the anticipation building as you carefully aided your body to an impending orgasm.

It wouldn't take much, you could already feel that glorious wave building as your finger carefully massaged your clit. Right up until you felt your body release, you heard a knock on your door that made your body seize up. You let out a frustrated and surprised grunt, your finger tearing away from your core as you listened. Nothing, but another knock.

Frustrated, you sat up and quickly threw on some sweats, not bothering with underwear because as soon as you got rid of whomever was here to bother you, you'd make yourself cum like you had been wanting for the past hour and a half.

"Wade, I swear to god, you always knock at the worst times!" You pulled your door open, meeting a broad chest and an unamused looking honey badger.

"Do I look like that idiot?" Logan asked, his eyes flicking inside your room, then back to your face. They narrowed slightly, his nostrils flared as he took a breath. Oh god. Did he smell you? He could smell the hint of addictive compounds in rubbing alcohol when he's desperate enough for a fix, you were sure he could smell the obvious arousal coating your inner thighs.

"He always...knocks. Weirdly. Guess he got the memo from NTW not to come into a girl's room without knocking first." You crossed your arms, shifting your weight, now a bit flushed that he had come in during your self pleasure and how you had been so sexually frustrated you practically shouted in his face.

"Yeah, well...shoulda known better than to just waltz into their room, huh?" Logan scoffed a little under his breath, then looked at his hand. "I forgot to give this to ya. Mind buffin' it out too?" He handed you his mask, which wasn't nearly as beat up as his suit was. You felt your heart quicken and your core continue to throb from the edging and denial you had faced. Despite your frustration, you couldn't say no to him, especially when he looked a little apologetic for asking you to clean something else of his.

Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

You took the mask from his hands, inspecting it before turning to sit back on your bed. "You can come in...this won't take very long. I just have to buff it out, like you said." You grabbed a cloth from your bedside table and some compound you used on your own suit and sat crisscrossed. You had the mask in your lap as you began to carefully buff the scratches from it.

Logan stepped in slowly, like he were entering a new domain or stepping through a portal to a world he hadn't seen before. His foot gently nudged the door and closed it behind him, his eyes began a careful exploration of your bedroom, drinking in every detail with an almost reverent curiosity.

As he advanced towards you, his eyes began a careful exploration of your bedroom, drinking in every detail with an almost reverent curiosity. His gaze swept over the collection of trinkets adorning your shelves, each one a tiny glimpse into your personality and interests. He noted the color palette that dominated the room, absorbing the hues that you had chosen to surround yourself with daily.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as his attention was caught by a rather grumpy-looking stuffed turtle, nestled comfortably among the pillows on your bed. The juxtaposition of its stern expression against the softness of its surroundings amused him, the frown etched onto its little face stood out amongst its soft body.

Logan's eyes inevitably fell down on the lace underwear you had hastily discarded on the floor earlier. The delicate fabric stood out against the carpet, and he couldn't help but notice the very obvious patch that stained them.

Your room was enveloped in a delicate blend of lavender and cinnamon, the scents wafted through the air, intertwining with the undeniable scent of your obvious arousal. The combination was intoxicating, causing Logan's nose to twitch involuntarily as his body reacted instinctively to your scent, his cock stirring to life within the confines of his pants as he processed the sensory information.

Logan was not dumb. He knew what you were doing before he knocked on the door, hell he could smell your cunt from down the hall. Part of him hadn’t wanted to barge in and make you clean his mask, but there was a deeper desire that wanted to see if you’d actually do it. Clearing his throat, he offered you an out, his voice slightly husky as he spoke. "I can come back if you need a break." His eyes, dark with barely concealed want, locked onto your form as you continued to work diligently on his mask.

Your hands moved back and forth, buffing one of the intricate wings with practiced precision, your breasts swaying in your tank top and making things so much harder for him to keep his composure. At the sound of his voice, your gaze lifted from his mask, meeting his intense stare. A small shrug of your shoulders accompanied your reply, your tone casual despite the charged atmosphere. "It's okay, I'm almost done with this." Your fingers never ceased their movements, but the slight tremor in your hands betrayed your affected nonchalance.

"There," you handed him the mask with a satisfied smile, "All done and ready for action." Logan carefully took the mask from your outstretched hands and examined it, his eyes scanning every detail. As always it was perfect, meeting his high standards. He slipped it on briefly, testing its vision and functionality. The mask settled perfectly on his face, as if it were a second skin.

"You know," you commented as you began tidying up your workspace, setting the polishing rag and compound away in their designated spots in the bedside drawer, "The wings on that mask are actually pretty durable. I assumed they’d be more finicky with how they’re structured." You paused, a thought crossing your mind, and added with a hint of exasperation, "Is that why Wade constantly makes that joke about blowjobs?"

The comment elicited a deep, prolonged groan from Logan, his face contorting into a pronounced scowl. "He's a goddamn idiot," he muttered, his voice tinged with a combination of annoyance and resignation. "Always finding ways to turn everything into some kind of ridiculous joke."

"I have to admit, though," you replied with a casual shrug of your shoulders, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of your mouth, "His jokes do have a certain charm to them. And the one about your mask was pretty funny." You paused briefly, considering your words carefully before continuing, "I mean, I don't personally have the anatomy to fully appreciate the joke from that perspective, but...you know. I can certainly see the appeal on a conceptual level." You hadn't expected Logan to react to your comment, assuming he'd brush it off as he often did with such topics.

To your surprise, however, he did respond. He turned his gaze towards you, his eyes narrowing slightly as he huffed, briefly averting before fixing back on you with an intense stare once more.

"Is that the real reason behind you about soakin’ the couch earlier?" Logan asked, his voice low and husky, something darker dominated his tone. “You were dripping on the way back here, weren’t you? I could smell ya loud and clear the entire time those pretty hands of yours scrubbed away at my suit.”

You were taken aback and shocked when he spoke up, your eyes widening in disbelief as you struggled to process his words. With each syllable that fell from his lips, you felt an intense warmth creeping up your neck and spreading across your cheeks, painting them a vibrant shade of crimson. Your ears felt hot as your heart picked up rapidly.

His deep, resonant tone reverberated through your body, sending delicious shivers down your spine and intensifying the ache between your thighs, where your already sensitized clit throbbed with an urgent, almost painful need. The poor, neglected bud pulsed eagerly, silently pleading for the sweet relief of touch, desperate for even the slightest caress to ease its torment.

Logan approached the edge of your bed, his piercing gaze fixed upon you as he drew nearer. The mask he wore only served to heighten his already intimidating appearance, the deadly smirk appearing as his lips upturned and exposed his teeth. Sometimes you were certain he had sharper canines than normal, but you never really studied his teeth for long to notice a prominent difference.

You drank in the sight of him as his larger body loomed over you, your imagination running wild with filthy images and thoughts. His muscular form holding your legs open as his face nestled snugly between your soft, inviting thighs as he completely ravaged your body...

"Am I right?" He asked, his voice a husky whisper with a hint of playfulness, a subtle tease that made your heart race. His knee slowly rose up onto the bed, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight as he leaned his entire body over yours. The warmth radiating from him was intoxicating, drawing you in like a moth to a flame.

Instinctively, you found yourself laying back, your head sinking into the soft pillow beneath you, his body commanding you without the need of words. Logan's figure loomed above, his presence both thrilling and intimidating as he stared down at you through his mask. His powerful arms moved to plant themselves on either side of your head, effectively trapping you. The defined muscles in his forearms flexed as he supported his weight, so much bigger than yours, you wanted to bite his bicep so badly.

His head tilted slightly to the side, eyes roaming over your form with an intensity that made you feel utterly exposed. The way he looked at you, it was as if he was committing every detail to memory, savoring this moment of having you beneath him. "What do you want, darlin'..." he drawled, his voice thick with desire, the question hanging in the air between you.

You swallowed thickly, feeling your throat constrict as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Words have abandoned you, leaving you unable to speak with the turmoil of emotions swirling within. Logan's proximity was overwhelming, his masculine scent enveloping you, clouding your senses. That scent that made you so, utterly horny earlier that you had to come to your room and shamelessly play with yourself.

You have never been this close to him, at least not in this context. Sitting on the couch beside him, him standing close to you during missions or shielding you from harm, that was different from this…

The air between you crackled with an electric charge, years of unspoken desire finally bubbling to the surface. Your breath came in short, shallow gasps as Logan made his advance, his movements slow and deliberate, giving you ample opportunity to voice any reservations.

Logan's calloused hands found their way to the waistband of your sweatpants with a gentleness that belied his rugged exterior. His fingers hooked into the fabric, the slight pressure against your skin sending jolts of anticipation through your body. He paused, giving you plenty of time to voice any hesitation or desire not to continue this, if you had any. When no protest came, he took it as tacit approval.

Slowly, he began to remove your sweatpants. The fabric whispered against your skin as he dragged them down your legs, the cool air causing goosebumps to rise along your thighs.

Logan grinned slightly as the sweatpants came down far enough to reveal your bare sex, your pussy swollen and slightly reddened from your previous self-pleasure, your hand had rubbed her so teasingly that your clit was as swollen as a ripe berry. A low, appreciative chuckle escaped his lips as he took in the sight before him. "No underwear, huh?" he remarked, his voice a mix of amusement and desire. "That desperate? I must've interrupted you rubbin' yourself..." His words trailed off as his gaze roamed over your body, a hint of pride in his tone as he added, "You're that horny for me, hm?"

With a final tug, he removed the sweats completely from your legs, carelessly tossing them behind him. Logan's lips curled into a teasing smirk as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin. "Y'know," he murmured, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "You could've just...asked for my help."

"S-shut up, don't act like you would've actually helped me with this," you stammered out, your voice quivering with embarrassment and obvious doubt at his words. The deep blush that crept across your cheeks darkened as you averted your gaze, unable to meet his intense stare. You felt a wave of vulnerability wash over you, almost bordering on humiliation, as he unabashedly gazed at your most intimate area. Your cunt was visibly swollen as blood continued to rush into the blushed, delicate folds.

He let out a low, knowing chuckle that made you want to grab him and shove him into your pussy already. "Oh, but I would have," he replied, his voice husky with desire. "I smell this pretty thing all the time, you know. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to grab you and take you right where you stand." He leaned over you just a bit more to make you squirm un the comforter, "I've wanted to taste you for even longer."

Logan gently spread you open, his touch sending electric jolts through your body. His eyes darkened with lust as he gazed upon your ripe bud, practically begging for his attention. He couldn't help but notice how increasingly damp you became as he leaned closer, his warm breath ghosting over your sensitive skin.

"If you could...smell me...then why didn't you do something before, huh?" you whined quietly, your voice barely above a whisper but held a hint of a challenge. You bit your lower lip, frustration building within you. Your breath hitched involuntarily in your throat as he hovered so close, his face mere inches from your core. You could feel his bot breath warming your pussy, so, so close…

"I wanted to see how long you could resist." He reasoned simply, a hint of amusement playing at the corners of his mouth. His gaze swept over your form, taking in your desperation. "A game of chicken. See which one of us breaks down first." His words struck a chord deep within you, causing your stomach to clench uncomfortably. You felt annoyance at his tone, which seemed to border on condescension. Logan was clearly entertained with your current state, and considering you had already been pushing yourself to the brink through self-imposed edging and denial, you weren't in the mood for his attitude.

Fuck. You've lost.

Without warning, you reached out and grasped the back of his head and pushed downward, forcing his face towards your aching core. The sudden action caught him off guard, so his neck muscles were weak and moldable to your gesture. Initially his lips and tongue fumbled, searching for that elusive sweet spot that would send sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

However, Logan was nothing if not adaptable.

He quickly regained his composure, adjusting his position to better accommodate your forceful guidance. His lips parted, and his tongue emerged, warm and eager. He dragged it along your sensitive flesh, tracing a long, deliberately slow stripe up your slit, sending a jolt of sensation through your already overstimulated nerves.

A soft, yearning moan escaped your lips as his tongue finally drew over your sensitive clit. The sensation shot electric waves of pleasure through you, causing your head to sink deeper into the plush pillow you laid on. Your fingers instinctively sought out the wings of his mask, gripping them tightly as you pulled him closer, desperate for more of his touch.

Logan's mouth pressed firmly against your cunt, eliciting a deep chuckle from him at your obvious enthusiasm. He quickly interpreted your obvious desires, his lips enveloping that needy, throbbing bud with practiced ease.

Logan's ministrations began with a gentle suction, his lips creating a pulsing rhythm that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. His skilled tongue danced inside his mouth, teasing and caressing your clit with expert precision. He alternated between swirling motions and intricate figure eights, the tip of his oral muscle exploring every sensitive nerve ending. Your hips responded of their own accord, bucking and thrusting against his face without any reservations.

Each movement he made only encouraged your body's instinctive response, creating a feedback loop of escalating pleasure. He continued to draw out movements from you. Between your ragged breaths and delicate whimpers, you managed to find your voice, "Logan...oh my god...just like that." Your parted lips released a symphony of soft moans and desperate cries as he continued his relentless, delicious assault on your sweet, aching clit, his mouth playing you like an instrument he knew by heart.

His tongue delved deeper, gliding between your folds and discovering your entrance, which was already weeping with glistening arousal for him. His tongue penetrated you without another second, his nose gently nudged your swollen, thoroughly suckled clit with each deliberate thrust of his skilled tongue.

Logan savored your essence on his palate, emitting a low, appreciative groan as he tasted your arousal, fully aware of just how desperately you had yearned for him during the few hours you had spent together earlier that day. His large hands grabbed your thighs, squeezing them and holding your legs farther open as he gained better access to you. "You taste like honey darlin'..." He groaned, muffled inside your puffy lips. "All for me. This is mine, you hear me?"

Your fingers remained firmly entwined in his mask, tugging at the wings with increasing urgency as you began grinding yourself against his face, seeking more of that delicious friction. "Stop talking and suck!" You demanded, your voice shaky as your body visibly shook with frustration at his teasing words, giving your clit just enough stimulation, but not nearly pushing you close to climax. The rough texture of his stubble against your inner thighs provided extra sensory stimulation, adding more stimulation to your body and mind. Your moans were pornographic as mewls filled the air while you tugged and bucked against him with growing fervor.

Logan growled against you, knowing you were needy, otherwise he would have teased you much more than this and wouldn't have let you get away with talking like such a brat. His face and chin became thoroughly coated in your flowing juices, your much-needed and long-awaited climax rapidly approaching. You could feel that tight knot forming in your gut, the warmth spreading through your legs and to your toes as the heat in your belly began to grow.

"Eager fuckin' thing..." Logan growled against your heated flesh, his voice a low rumble of desire. He punctuated his words with a searing kiss to your slick folds before once again attaching himself to your clit with the intensity and determination of a man possessed, his mouth working tirelessly to bring you to your orgasm.

"Lo...Logan," you warned breathlessly, your voice quivering with anticipation. Greedily, even with your feeble protest, you had no intention of allowing him to retreat. Your leg wrapped tightly around his broad shoulder, effectively anchoring him in place. You used him with unbridled passion, your body responding to his ministrations like a finely tuned instrument.

Logan seemed to revel in your assertiveness and wasn’t bothered by your increasing roughness whatsoever. You could feel the curve of his lips against your sensitive skin, a smirk that spoke volumes about his enjoyment of your pleasure. He willingly let you have control, allowing you to dictate the pace and pressure that you so desperately craved.

"I'm close!" You gasped your words, barely coherent as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you and pull you under like sirens calling you to the edge of ecstasy. "Oh god, I'm going to..." The sentence hung unfinished in the air, your ability to form coherent thoughts rapidly diminishing.

Your head fell back once more, an eager, satisfying, almost pained cry escaping your lips as your climax finally crashed over you. It felt as though every nerve ending in your body had suddenly come alive. Your muscles tensed rapidly, your back arching dramatically off the surface beneath you. Your hips, acting on pure instinct, drove forward, pressing urgently against Logan's face as if trying to prolong the pleasure for as long as possible.

The intensity of your orgasm was overwhelming, having ruined your incoming one prior, this one felt much more intense. It felt as though liquid fire was coursing through your veins, setting every cell in your body ablaze with pleasure that seemed to short-circuit your brain.

You were in complete, blissful disorientation.

Your leg fell limply to the side and off his shoulder as he slowly withdrew from your cunt with a sloppy popping sound. His lips glistened with the evidence of your orgasm, they curved into a satisfied smile as he savored the taste of you. Logan slowly crawled over your body, dragging himself to hover once again, his eyes drinking in every inch of your flushed skin and disheveled appearance.

"Pretty girl," he murmured, his voice a low, husky whisper in a now quieted room, no longer filled with your audible filth and desperation. He lowered himself closer, his face now hovering mere inches above yours. You could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting across your lips, heightening your anticipation. He grazed his lips against yours before pressing them down more firmly, sealing them together.

The kiss was a bit hesitant on his end, not because he didn't want to kiss you, but his face was still pretty much slick with your essence. His body thrummed with the urge to flip you over, to bury himself deep within you, railing his cock in and out of that slick cunt he just tasted and chase the heights of ecstasy together.

But there was that flicker of doubt in his mind that had been holding him back from forming a stronger bond with you, and he wondered if you felt the same way. The possibility of forming a deeper connection with you both thrilled and terrified him, causing him to hesitate as he tried to gauge your intentions and reactions to him. There was so much to be said, memories flashing across his mind of loss and heartache, the overwhelming pain of losing those he loved in the past almost overwhelmed him before he was brought back down to earth.

Your hand gently came up, reaching for his mask with a tender touch. You carefully pulled it off, revealing the rest of his face beneath. Your fingers immediately sought out his short hair, tangling themselves in the soft strands. You leaned in, kissing him back with a mixture of passion and gratitude. Your eyes fluttered closed, savoring the moment. A soft hum escaped your lips, vibrating against his as you tasted the unique combination of yourself and him. The kiss lingered, neither of you wanting to break the connection once it was made.

After several seconds, you reluctantly pulled back with a soft smile playing on your lips, your expression still dazed from the intensity of the moment. Your hands glided over the top of his head, your fingers playfully toying with the little tufts of hair that stood up, slightly mussed from the mask. The tiny kitty ears were adorable to you, and you carefully formed them to their little points once again.

Your eyes met his in the comfortable quiet of the room, conveying more than any verbal exchange could hope to capture. The look you shared was filled with soft, gentle expressions, relief and giddiness, tired happiness.

Logan let the tip of his nose trace a delicate path over the curve of your own, his breath warm against your skin. His trailed his nose slowly, deliberately, to the spot between your eyes, where he paused for a moment, as if savoring the closeness.

His lips then replaced his nose, placing another kiss, this one soft and lingering against your skin. It was a gentle action, one that took you by surprise with its tenderness, but filled you with a comforting warmth that spread from the point of contact throughout your body. Your heightened emotional state felt so tender as he showed you a side of himself that few others ever got to see. Logan’s rough exterior and guarded nature fading for the moment to allow himself this, putting all his wariness away to savor you.

While you were busy basking in the glow, his eyes were drawn to what laid beside your head. That stuffed turtle, its shell a soft, soothing pine green and its body a gentle, earthy slate brown, adorned with intricate, unique stitching and delicate embroidery that lovingly traced the contours of its body and defined its endearing facial features.

Prominent, exaggerated eyebrows were stitched in a comically furrowed manner, giving the toy an air of perpetual concern or deep thought. Below them, a carefully sewn black frown curved downwards, completing the turtle's amusingly grumpy expression. Its face seemed to lock eyes with him, its unwavering stare intense as Logan remained on top of your half naked body.

Slowly, he reached out with his free hand and turned the turtle around, no longer feeling watched by its grumpy stare and judged by its frown.

Thanks for reading - em 🌿

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Images found on Pinterest

[discodeerdiary]

There's a good reason why I try not to argue publicly with anyone under 18, and it's not that I think they're inherently stupid, it's not that I think their brains are "underdeveloped", it's not that I think they can "do no wrong", it's that I never know how much freedom they actually have to think freely, or how many of their opinions are actually their own. Of course, under-18s *can be* capable of thinking for themselves and developing their own opinions, but (here in the US at least) law and culture put a lot of roadblocks on their ability to do so.

Of course parents and teachers cannot actually control the inner thoughts of the children they wield power over, but they can restrict the information that they have access to, can punish them for saying the wrong things, can cut them off from healthy diverse social groups, and can convince the child their thoughts are being monitored through religion, psychology, and other appeals to higher authority.

Thus if a random teenager says some headass shit in my mentions I have no way of knowing if these are opinions they arrived at on their own, or if they are dogmas forced on them by the people holding food and shelter over their head. If it's the latter, there's nothing to be gained from a public confrontation: people are generally unwilling to change their opinions in a direction that threatens their social support system, and they are especially unwilling to do so at the behest of an internet stranger who cannot offer alternative forms of support. If a teen is genuinely curious about my opinion (that is *if they consent* to a discussion of disagreements) and if I have the mental bandwidth for a potentially emotionally loaded conversation, yeah I'll have it, but I'm not gonna maintain any illusions about my ability to change their mind until they can find a way to live independently.

This is also why my leniency toward the not-yet-adult tends to also extend to the recently-adult. Coming up with a system of beliefs that you're actually willing to stand behind? Shit takes time, and I'm not necessarily gonna expect it of a 20-year-old who may, for all I know, have been living under conditions of near-absolute control up until their 18th birthday. Sure they may be opening their mind in college, or college may be their parents way of keeping them too occupied with busywork to develop new opinions, as they continue to hold financial support over their head. It's around their mid-twenties that I'm willing to go full gloves-off antagonistic with strangers, knowing that they've had a few years of legal and social adulthood under their belt, and that even if they're still financially dependent on their parents it's a different sort of dependence, one where they're given default legal permission to run away from home.

A lot of people are deeply uncomfortable with this line of thinking because if you look too far into the factors that influence young people's thoughts, you eventually have to start asking yourself which forces of dependency are influencing your own beliefs and opinions. Yeah, as an independent adult you may have the option to quit your job, divorce your spouse, ditch your friends, move to another country, but realistically how many of these can you accomplish at the same time? How many do you even want to? And how are all of these forces *in aggregate* setting the acceptable limits of what you're allowed to think and feel? It can be upsetting to think of yourself this way, it can be easier to think of yourself as a true free thinker and children as mindless automatons, but I urge you to think of mentally coercive environments as a continuum rather than a binary. The point is not to free yourself from all influence, but to gain the ability to see yourself as an influenced mind, and to have compassion for those dealing with all the bullshit you don't have to anymore.

[notjustjavierpena]

i love how playful javi and wife are in the bedroom sometimes. cracking jokes and being gross. they’re so comfortable with each other and it really shines in these moments.

I would love to see a drabble focusing on them absolutely loosing it laughing while being intimate.

Giggles (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This was lovely to write! However, it was so hard (no pun intended) to come up with a joke on the spot. I have a whole list now for future use. Also - when does the word count get high enough for it to stop being a drabble?

Summary: You make a joke for the first time during sex.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, female masturbation, oral sex (m receicing), mouth-fucking, dirty talk, cumshot, giggles and love

Word count: 1.2k

Giggles

It has been four months now and it is the best sex of your life. It is not like you have a million different experiences to compare with being with Javier Peña but whenever he has you naked, you just know that it doesn’t feel like this with others and you doubt others have even felt the way you do with their own partner. The stupid man makes you come so hard that you lose sense of time and space, and you walk around in a cockdrunk haze that consists almost entirely of waiting for the next time you can see him.

One more thing. He makes you giggle. Tiny snickers come from your mouth even when he is inside of you, and his eyes gleam with boyish pride and joy whenever you accidentally snort from laughter during sex.

“What was that?” He always asks, pulling your hands from your face whenever embarrassment heats up your cheeks enough for you to want to hide behind something. Seeing the look of humiliation on your face when doing the perfect imitation of a pig during a time when you should be imitating the flawless femme fatale is apparently too funny for him not to mock lovingly. Sometimes, you think he might joke around on purpose for the sole benefit of hearing you laugh but you don’t dare hope that is the reason because that’ll mean this is love.

Like that time when you banged your dominant hand into your doorframe during a date night, hobbling around with a string of swears falling from your mouth, and then later couldn’t give him a handjob with your other one because the angle wasn’t right. He had looked at you with a shit-eating grin and asked if you weren’t ambi-dick-trous to which the laughter you gave made the pain subside completely.

However, despite all this, you still haven’t managed the courage to joke back at him during your most intimate moments. You suspect it is some kind of ridiculous attempt to maintain the illusion of being the sexy new girlfriend - God, that is what you are, isn’t it? His girlfriend - but at this point, you think the easiest way is just to break the rules you have made for yourself and dive headfirst into the waters of being funny in the bedroom too. Together.

You have been going down on him a lot lately, eager to please whether it is on your knees or lying down in the bed if it means being soaked in his taste and scent. That is why it seems like the perfect opportunity to earn a chuckle from him.

You are on your back on your bed, and have a hand on Javier’s lower stomach, nails scratching through the hairs right at the beginning of his happy trail, whilst the other one is between your legs to rub circles on your clit in a desperate fashion. Javier is fucking your mouth, the soft skin of his cock sliding past your lips over and over. At this point, you feel like an expert in knowing what to do with your mouth to make him twitch and moan. It is rough, dirty, and only painful in a way that has you groaning for your orgasm.

“I can hear you,” he says breathlessly, voice shaking from how sensitive he is due to his own climax climbing. He is making the bed rattle from his thrusts, “You gonna come with my dick in your mouth, baby?”

You whine to say yes, and then you’re off. The first crash of pleasure washes over you and your jaw goes even slacker as everything below your belly button starts to pulse with no other reason than to make you feel like you’re in heaven. Your eyes roll back, your toes curl and you gag wetly with every other moan you let out.

“Jesus Christ, you are gorgeous when you come,” you hear Javier moan above you, sounding like he is just about to blow. You look up through your damp lashes again, and sure enough, you see that Javier’s eyes are closed and his jaw is locked tightly as he uses you to get off.

You tap his torso with your palm and he pulls back a moment after, brows furrowed and just about to ask when you interrupt him in his thoughts of concern.

“Come on my face,” you order but your voice is hardly commanding as it is hoarse from being throat-fucked.

Javier growls, already wrapping his hand around his spit-slicked dick. He strokes himself fast, eager to paint your face, “Fuck yes, I will.”

“Yeah?” Your voice oozes with dopamine and sex too, “Come on my face, Javi, please.”

“Eres una chica sucía (You’re a dirty girl),” he pants and dares to look down at you.

“I know,” you smile innocently, propping yourself up on your elbows, and opening your mouth with your tongue slightly out.

Javier is done for. He comes with a groan of your name, and it sounds so sweet even if followed by filthy swear words. You take the first shot of come in your mouth but as Javier’s climax peaks and his sounds become whines, his aim falters and the next spurts hit your cheek, jaw, and even across your chin.

He sounds like someone who’s trying to desperately outrun something or someone. His breaths are fast and strained, and you hold onto his sides to keep him steady as he moves to pick a few wipes from a pack on the nightstand that’s being more and more frequently used.

That is when it happens. You hadn’t actually planned what to say, thinking it would come off as too neurotic to schedule a joke. For this reason, it also takes you by surprise.

“So,” you say casually as he sweetly rids your face of his spill, “Come here often?”

He looks down at you with surprise and stops cleaning your face. He doesn’t say anything at first and even though his silence probably only lasts for a second or two, you feel panic rise in your chest. This is what you got for trying to be the funny girlfr—

Javier bursts into laughter. It is loud and unrestrained, and so pleasant to your ears that a flash of making him crack up like that every day for the rest of your life pops up in your mind. How on earth have you waited so long to hear that sound? You watch in awe as he gets crinkles around his eyes, chest rising and falling in short bursts of the lightness laughter brings.

The laughter develops into giggles instead and he is finally able to wipe the rest of your face clean. You find everything about it so infectious that you cannot keep your own snickering at bay. You join in, and after he throws the crumpled wipes on the nightstand, he flops down on top of you to pull you close to his chest.

You feel the vibrations of his chest as he snickers. He doesn’t seem to be able to stop even if it wasn’t that funny - evidently high on post-orgasmic bliss - and you don’t want him to anyway. It is sweet happiness even as he pulls back for a second to look at you, only to start crying with laughter all over again.

You have nothing that you need to get out of bed for. You have all the time in the world. You giggle along with him and listen to his stuttering breaths and try to think of another joke.

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[harmoonix]

Peaceful astro observations

~ Hakuna Matata ~ No worries ~

┍━━━━╝💎╚━━━━┑

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

▫️☘▫️Venus - Moon aspects can be very sacrificial, doesn't matter what relationship they are, friends or lovers they tend to give everything to them and they can end up hurt most times 🖤

▫️☘▫️Venus in the 11th house/Aquarius can be very protective of their friends, and being posesive around them it can happen very often, is not always a bad thing is just their mechanism

▫️☘▫️Venus in Aquarius Degrees [11°, 23°] the native can really have a unique fashion style and it can bring much attention from others because of their uniqueness, also meeting potential love partners in online can happen with those degrees

▫️☘▫️Mars/Venus in the 5th or 2nd house or in Taurus/Leo can make the native to have a very sensual personality, they are stunning while wearing gold or shinning colors and often giving luxurious vibes

▫️☘▫️Mars/Aries in the 3rd house/Gemini/Aries/Scorpio can really have a naughty mind, thinking about such things always and everywhere, sometimes it can happen so randomly and is scary

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Moon/Pluto - Moon aspects tend to be extremely protective of the people they love, they are always caring and sharing their love but not always recieving those things back, and that is making them sad

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Why, why can't this moment last forevermore?

Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door

No, don't ever stop doing the things you do

Don't go, in every breath I take, I'm breathing you

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▫️☘▫️Jupiter and Neptune aspects tend to have this interested side of them being attracted to mysticism, and always being the search for new things related to spiritually/mysticism

▫️☘▫️Uranus and Pluto aspects make the native to be very wise and determined yet still discovering something new about themselves everyday, is like they learn something new but in the same time collecting moments of knowledge

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Ascendant aspects just have this *body goal*, their bone structure might be really strong and very prominent in case you go at gym and have these aspects your muscles can appear slower but it will be good in the end they will look amazing

▫️☘▫️Venus in Pisces/12th house or aspecting Neptune can make the native to fall in love blindly sometimes, they can create this fake illusion about their specific person, most times they can fall in love with people who will hurt them but because of their thoughts they think will think everything is fine with their specific person [I'm not saying everyone with those placements happen to have these but it can happen to many to fall in love blindly with dangerous people] {Venus and Neptune in minor aspects can aswell have this }

▫️☘▫️Neptune in the 1st house or Neptune aspecting the ascendant can absorb people's energy often and that can cause them to have a spiritual attack, like when you go on street and you feel sad and draining energies around you is because you can absorb them so always protect yourself from bad energies

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through, you were standing there by my side

And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▫️☘▫️Mercury in Earth degrees [2°, 6°, 10°, 14°, 18°, 22°] can have a good voice and can possess singing abilities/talents, they can really maintain their voices at high levels and have a good control upon that

▫️☘▫️Pisces and Aquarius Risings repsent the kids of the space, this influence can bring them so many questions about space, sky, galaxies etc... And can often get lost in their head thinking about "What if there is more than earth 🌎"

▫️☘▫️Neptune/Jupiter - Mars aspects in tight degrees can make the native to have hypersexuality energy in them, and being into this part of taboo. They can also be curious about those things and happy to learn about it

▫️☘▫️Natives with Sun/Moon or Mars in the 9th house have really strong beliefs and is very hard to change their mind about something they believe in, you can rather stay quiet than opening a subject these natives believe in

▫️☘▫️Moon in Virgo/6th house tend to worry about a lot of things and having this type of "overthinking" even in a relationship it cause them to fight often because of these, i know it can be hard but remember that you are very strong and you can beat these thoughts who make you to worry about bad things 💖

▫️☘▫️Virgo placements have also an obsession with cleaning, they can see literally every single little thing that falls on the floor, and they will clean it because these natives really like it to be clean, stress can happen if they don't clean or work

▫️☘▫️Aries/Scorpio/Aquarius and Gemini in the 7th/11th houses are the people who really get into very different relationships every time, every new person they met has something different than the other

▫️☘▫️Juno in Aquarius/Aries/Scorpio and Leo can get possesive spouses, especially when they wanna hang out with someone, their spouses can get jealous easily aswell is because of their 11th, 1st, 8th and 5th houses energeies

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 [Splendor Asteroid related to beauty] in aspects with the Sun or Moon can make the native naturally beautiful and charming

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 making an aspect with Uranus can make the natives beauty unique and different than others, the native can have something special about their appearance and personality

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 aspecting Mercury or in the 3rd house, the native can have a very beautiful voice and the way the native put works together makes the native beautiful

▫️☘▫️ Natal Sun in the 12th house/Sun in Pisces natives have this charm upon them since they were born, the native always felt to have a connection apart with nature/animals this is giving highly empath person

▫️☘▫️Moon in the 8th house or aspecting Pluto can experience grief very painfully, is usually and indicator of pain when grief happens ❤️😭

▫️☘▫️ Mars in the 3rd/7th/11th houses can experience to argue with their friends/siblings/partners often because of the things that can happen between you

▫️☘▫️ Venus in the 10th/11th houses are world appealing, let's say that a lot of people can like you and can influence you in this time

▫️☘▫️Uranus in the 10th & 6th houses can change their jobs often due to their thoughts about others jobs or purely finding a better job at some point

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The theme for this post was inspired from Avatar😍😍😍, i loved the both 2 movies so much and it was such an inspiration to make a post with the whole Sully Family (atwow fans will know what I'm talking about 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Here some peaceful notes for y'all 😍🙏🏼 hope you will like it ✈️🌊

Make sure to give yourself the best treatment and to love yourself the most! That's very important for everyone 🌟💁🏻‍♀️🥰

Have a happy Thursday everyone!🥰 Much love to everyone reading my notes 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[allthecanadianpolitics]

There was a time when I believed that here, in my home of British Columbia, I could live my truth without fear. I held on to the illusion that the rising tide of hatred and anti-trans rhetoric spreading across the globe wouldn’t reach me. I thought the progressive values of my province and country would protect me, that I would be safe from the cruel and dehumanizing discourse unfolding in places like the United States, the United Kingdom and elsewhere. But the past two weeks have shattered that belief. Reading through the news stories in The Tyee and LGBTQ Nation, and opinion pieces in the Washington Post and Medium, I feel crushed. The weight of this realization wears on me, and I pen this lament with profound sorrow. I was heartbroken to learn about the Sept. 18 death of Kesaria Abramidze, a beloved trans model and influencer who was brutally stabbed to death in her home in the country of Georgia the day after lawmakers in her country passed draconian anti-LGBTQ2S+ laws. It was yet another grim addition to the worldwide tally maintained by a group affiliated with the Transgender Day of Remembrance that records the loss of one trans person per day.

Continue Reading

Tagging: @newsfromstolenland

[queenshelby]

MINI SERIES: THE SLAVE

PART THREE OF THE DARK & SEXY SERIES

NOTE: This is a series of one shots and mini series for Cillian Murphy & Tommy Shelby in which he acts totally off-canon. Most of these shots are very dark in nature and you should read their individual warnings. All of these shots are requests from readers. Co-written with @darkshelbyfiction! ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18. MINORS DNI.

PAIRING: TOMMY SHELBY X VIRGIN READER

WARNING: NON-CONSENSUAL LOSS OF VIRGINITY, CAPTURED READER, SLAVE READER, TOMMY GETTING OFF ON PAIN

NOTE: AGAIN THIS WAS A REQUEST AND I FELT A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE PUBLISHING IT...VERY DARK!

It had been two days since you were brought to Birmingham from your home country after promises of prosperity and wealth. 

But the cost for this was higher than you ever imagined when you were sold, by your very own father, as property to the highest bidder. 

Now you had arrived at Thomas Shelby's estate, which stood majestically against the backdrop of lush greenery and manicured gardens. The mansion, built centuries ago, seemed to command the landscape around it, much like how its owner commanded people within it.

A maid named Nadia greeted you at the entrance, leading you up the grand staircase that spiraled upwards into a series of breathtaking domed ceilings and magnificent chandeliers. Each room presented an extravagant spectacle of artistry and craftsmanship; it was as if every corner had been meticulously designed to overwhelm even the most jaded observer.

Despite the opulence surrounding you, something felt unsettling about the silence that enveloped the house. As far as you could tell, there was no one else here except the maids and yourself. This was not just a house, but a fortress - an impregnable bastion constructed on foundations of isolation and distance.

"This way," intoned the maid, gesturing down a long hallway lined with oil paintings depicting scenes of aristocratic splendor. The air smelled stale - it had been many years since anyone had breathed life into this grand edifice.

"I will show you to your room," whispered Nadia, casting a furtive glance over her shoulder.

As she walked ahead, you noticed her movements were careful, almost rehearsed, as if she had done this countless times before.

Her gait betrayed an unnatural rhythm, a pattern formed by habituation rather than choice.

She knew the layout of the house inside out, each twist and turn etched into her memory like grooves on an old vinyl record.

You followed her silently, allowing the grandeur of the mansion to wash over you.

Every now and then, you caught glimpses of your reflection in the polished marble floors, a ghostly image of yourself trapped between reality and illusion. You found yourself feeling strangely calm and collected, despite the circumstances that led you here.

Nadia finally stopped outside a door adorned with intricate carvings and gestured you into a room without windows.

"This is where you will sleep and perform your duties," she said, her voice devoid of emotion. There was something eerie about the maid, an unspoken understanding between her and the master of the house.

Slowly stepping into the dimly lit chamber, you took note of the opulent surroundings: velvet curtains hung from gold-plated rails, plush rugs lay scattered across the polished hardwood floor, and delicate porcelain vases filled with fresh flowers graced every surface.

However, the abundance of luxury did little to ease the unease that settled deep within your gut.

The maid turned abruptly, locking eyes with you. "At night, the room will be locked securely so don't attempt to leave. If you need anything, ring the bell by the bedside table," she told you before fluffing up some of the cushions on the bed. 

"I never..." You trailed off, swallowing back tears that threatened to betray your bravado. You forced yourself to maintain eye contact with the maid, knowing full well that any sign of weakness would be exploited mercilessly. "I have not done anything like this before. I was told that I had to because a lot of money was paid for my services, but understand please that I have no experience," you then stammered, knowing full well that you had been purchased to perform sexual acts for your benefactor. 

"The fact that you are so innocent, and young is precisely why Mr. Shelby has purchased you," Nadia responded coldly, turning away to adjust a lamp on the nightstand. 

"Now, let me explain to you what is expected of you around here," she continued, softening her tone slightly.

Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, and your palms slickened with sweat, though you managed to nod affirmatively, meeting her gaze steadily. "Firstly, you must address Mr. Shelby as 'Sir' at all times. Do not forget," she warned sternly.

You swallowed hard, nodding again.

"You will be allowed to leave your room with another maid, between eight o'clock in the morning and eight o'clock in the evening, but not otherwise unless Mr. Shelby is with you," Nadia explained, adjusting a silk pillow propped by the headboard.

You tried to picture a day spent in confinement, the mere thought sending shivers down your spine.

"Mr. Shelby will inform you directly when he requires your services. Most often he will come here to use you for his pleasure, and he usually expects to be attended to at least twice per day, occasionally more often. You should prepare yourself mentally and physically for his needs because it can get quite overwhelming sometimes," Nadia explained and your breath hitched, but you managed to control the panic rising within you.

"And if I refuse?" you asked, causing Nadia to pause and look at you. "Refusal is not an option. Mr. Shelby doesn't tolerate disobedience. You must do whatever he asks."

Your hands shook involuntarily, but you clenched them into fists to prevent further trembling. You nodded weakly, fighting back tears.

"What he wants...is it...painful?" What you didn't know, what you couldn't comprehend, was whether the physical pain of intimacy would be more bearable than the emotional agony of submitting to someone else's whims.

"Sometimes, but he's gentle enough," Nadia replied matter-of-factly. "Now, you must get ready for tonight. He will be visiting you at 8 o'clock and expects you to wear nothing but a pair of undergarments of your choice," Nadia said before directing you to your wardrobe. "You will lie on the bed and wait for him, understood?" she asked and, again, you nodded. 

"I will be back after he is done with you to change the sheets and provide food and water," Nadia then finally explained before she left you alone in the darkness, save for the faint glow of your bedside lamp. You heard the key turn in the lock, sealing you in the room. You sat on the edge of the bed, trying to process everything she told you.

On the bedside table you found a bottle of lubrication next to a bottle of painkillers, both small comforts in the face of the reality of your situation and, when you looked around the room, you also found other items such as restraints hanging neatly from hooks in the wall. You shivered, feeling your anxiety rise.

Then, just before 8 o'clock, there was a knock on the door. You flinched, jumping to your feet and nearly knocking over the lamp.

"It's time," Nadia called through the door. You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. 

You stripped off your clothes, leaving you naked in the dim light of the room. You pulled on a pair of cotton panties, their thin fabric barely covering the shame you felt.

You then laid down beneath the thin sheets and waited for your new master's arrival. The tension mounted as the seconds ticked by, the sound of footsteps echoing loudly in the silent mansion.

There was a creak of the door opening, and an intimidating figure emerged from the shadows. His presence loomed large, filling the space with an aura of dominance and power. He wore only a robe, his toned body visible underneath. You bit your lip nervously, unable to tear your gaze away from those imposing features.

Thomas Shelby, you reminded yourself – a name that would forever haunt your dreams. His cold blue eyes swept over you, assessing your worth.

You stared back, holding his gaze, refusing to cower. 

"Welcome, Love," he rasped, his voice like gravel underfoot, but you remained silent, swallowing the lump in your throat. He moved closer, looming over you like a storm cloud, his scent of sandalwood and spice filling your nostrils.

"I trust Nadia has briefed you on your duties?" he queried, reaching out to stroke your cheek.

Your skin recoiled at his touch, but you refused to pull away. 

"Yes, she did," you mumbled hesitantly, your voice cracking under his scrutiny. He studied you carefully, tracing the lines of your jaw with his fingers.

"Good girl," he crooned softly, a strange sense of pride swelling within you. Your resolve wavered at the compliment, but you steeled yourself, reminding yourself of the reality of your situation as he touched some of your bare skin not covered by the white sheet.

"Relax Love," he then said softly as the heat of his hand seared through your skin, sending quivers up your spine.  "You will get used to this after a while," he went on to say and his voice was comforting, yet the words stung like venom.

Your breath quickened, chest rising and falling in rapid succession, and your hands instinctively curled into fists beneath the thin white sheet covering you. You wanted to scream, but instead, you simply nodded, unable to find any words to respond.

Thomas looked at you, his eyes appraising your form beneath the covers. "I am going to have a look at you now, eh" he said suddenly, reaching down to lift the edge of the sheet away from your body.

You squirmed and turned red, trying to cover yourself. But he pushed your hands aside gently, staring at you with a mixture of lust and admiration. "I cannot wait to feel your tight little cunt squeeze around my cock when I claim you," he whispered, running his fingertips along your inner thigh, causing you to shiver uncomfortably.

"But first, let me have a look at this little virgin hole of yours, eh?" the man said and his words sent a wave of unease coursing through your veins. You could feel the sweat trickling down your face, mingling with the tears pooling in your eyes. You bit your lip, struggling to contain the sobs threatening to erupt from inside you.

With a gentle tug, he pulled your panties down just enough to expose your slit and your heart pounded against your chest almost painfully.

"I have been told that your opening is particularly small" he murmured, trailing his fingers over your slit before parting your labia slightly, exposing your tiny clit.

"Ow!" you gasped, wincing at the sudden stretch caused by his fingers.

"You do have a tight opening indeed," he grinned wickedly, licking his lips.

Thomas gazed at it with fascination, reaching between your thighs. You tried to close your legs, but he firmly held them open, pressing a dry finger against your entrance, probing it gently. 

"Look at that," he breathed, leaning forward to get a better view. "It's barely opened up yet," Tommy groaned as he probed deeper, widening your opening until he found your hymen—a thin membrane that separated you from being fully broken. His fingers brushed against it, sending stinging pain shooting through your core as he toyed with your opening.

"Now, be a good girl and hold still for me," he cooed, pressing the tips of one of his fingers against your entrance. "I need to stretch you out a bit, ready for later," he went on to say as his finger pressed harder, forcing its way into your most intimate space. It felt too big, too foreign. The pain was excruciating, but you did your best not to make a sound. 

"There we go," he muttered, thrusting deeper until his entire pointer finger filled you up. "That's a good girl. Now, let's see if I can get a second one in there," he told you before reaching for the bottle of lubrication he kept on the nightstand and squirting the viscous liquid onto two of his fingers.

"Hold still for me," he reminded you before swiping his fingers across your outer lips and then pushing not one but two fingers right into you.

You cried out and arched your back, biting into your own fist to stop any louder sounds from escaping.

"Shh," Thomas hushed you, rubbing soothing circles into your hipbone as he pumped his fingers in and out of you.

His fingers felt cold and slimy inside you, sliding easily past your resistance, tearing at your hymen with each thrust.

You closed your eyes tightly, gritting your teeth as the sensation of being stretched and torn overwhelmed you.

The sight of his fingers stretching you like this turned him on; he couldn't help but groan and squeeze harder, making sure you knew exactly what he was doing to you.

"Such a good girl," he praised between grunts, watching your petals pulse around his digits, growing wetter and slicker with every stroke.

"See how hard you make me?" he moaned, opening his robe and grabbing hold of his erection, stroking it firmly. "I really want to fuck you now," he determined before he withdrew his fingers from you, leaving you feeling empty and exposed.

"Now be a good girl and turn over and lay flat on your stomach, face down against pillow," he commanded gruffly, pushing your upper body onto the mattress. 

You hesitated, wanting to turn over and hide your nakedness, but fear of displeasing him kept you lying facedown.

"I am going to use some lubrication, but it is going to hurt a lot more if you don't relax Love," he warned sharply, pulling your waist upwards and spreading your legs apart.

As you lay on your stomach and your heart hammered against your chest. The thought of being penetrated by him sent chills down your spine. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to block out the inevitable.

You whimpered softly, trying to prepare yourself for what was to come, and Tommy smeared a generous amount of lube onto his cock, coating it in a thick layer of slippery fluid. You flinched in anticipation as he positioned himself between your legs.

"This might hurt a bit for the first few days, but you will get used to it after a while. The more we do it, the easier it will get," he said while aligning himself with your entry point.

"Now," he continued, his tone stern. "I want you to stay completely still when I penetrate you," he added, applying another dollop of lube to his shaft. 

You remained silent, swallowing loudly as you attempted to gather your courage. You could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears; the rhythmic, thunderous pounding was deafening.

"Do you understand?" he asked quietly and you nodded. Your muscles tensed, ready to endure whatever came next.

Thomas placed the head of his penis at your entrance, teasing you with a slow push. You exhaled loudly, gripping the sheets in your fists.

"Relax and let me in," Thomas urged you, nudging the tip of his member against your entrance. "That's it,"  he sighed, feeling your body yield under his command. His cock slid into you, stretching you wide open, and the friction of entering you caused a shudder to ripple through his body.

"Ah," he groaned, reveling in the exquisite sensation of being enveloped by your warm, tight channel. "Such a good girl," he groaned as he savored the moment, basking in the sensations that coursed through him. Then, he began to thrust, filling you up inch by agonizing inch until every last millimeter of his erection was buried deep within you.

"So tight," he groaned, bucking into you with a force that seemed to shake the entire bed. "Fuck, you're so goddamn tight."

"You are going to be such a good little whore for me, eh?" Tommy murmured into your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck.

"You will take my cock many times a day, love," he growled, his words a dark promise that sent a chill down your spine. "In the morning, afternoon, and evening."

You swallowed loudly, unable to meet his gaze. Your heart hammered wildly against your chest, and you struggled to suppress the sob that threatened to escape.

"Every time I come through that door, you'll be ready for me, won't you?" he asked, his grip tightening around your hip.

"Because I'm going to fuck you whenever I want, Love." Tommy snarled, punctuating his words with hard thrusts. 

For almost an hour, he used you like this, treating you like a rag doll that belonged to him alone until, finally, he was ready to ejaculate inside your raw opening.

"I am going to cum inside you now, Love," he informed you, his cock twitching violently against your vaginal wall.

"Do you want me to fill you up with my seed?" he asked you, his voice laced with lust, his fingers tightening around your hips.

"Yes, sir," you managed to reply, your voice hoarse with exhaustion.

He smiled down at you, satisfaction shining in his eyes. "Good girl," he praised, pumping his cock a few more times before letting out a guttural yell and filling you up with his essence.

As he collapsed next to you, panting heavily, you could feel his warmth radiating into your channel. 

The remnants of his semen trickled down your leg, leaving a sticky trail behind.

"That was a lovely experience, wasn't it?" Tom said, his voice still coarse from exertion. "Now rest. I am going to fuck you again when I come back from my business deal tonight" he added, his gaze lingering on your tender, swollen lips. 

He moved his hands to cup your breasts, palming them gently before pinching your nipples.

"You are going to learn to enjoy it Love," he whispered, his voice harsh and commanding. "And when you do," he paused, his breath hot against your cheek, "you are going to beg me for more," he determined before putting his robe back on and calling one of the maids to help you clean up. 

[seungvocado]

Break Ground [Part 1]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Content/Trigger warning: Step brother!Seungmin, Step sister!Reader, Fem!Reader, Slow burn, Slight angst, First time/Virginity taking, Kind of Cheating (?), Oral (F. Receiving, M. Receiving), Fingering, Hand Job, Grinding, P in V sex (unprotected), Creampie, Possessive Seungmin, Jealous Seungmin. [Let me know if I miss out any!]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Sypnosis: Y/N who is secretly in love with her Seungmin - even before they were step-siblings, navigates the complexities of their relationship. Unspoken feelings escalates when she dates another boy to distract herself from Seungmin.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Master list - Break Ground (mini series)

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — 18+ work! MDNI! Ageless/blank blogs will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog.

a/n: this is my first writing ever! please give me feedback + suggestions! ❤️

The warm summer air drifted through the open windows of the house, carrying with it the scent of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers. Y/N sat on the window seat, gazing outside but not really seeing anything. Her mind was occupied, tangled in thoughts of Seungmin. He had always been the responsible older brother, always there for her since their parents had remarried and brought them together. But recently, something had changed. She could feel it in the way his gaze lingered on her a second longer than it should, the way his touch sent shivers down her spine.

Y/N wasn’t naive; she knew her feelings for Seungmin were more than just sisterly affection. She had fallen for him, hard. But what tormented her the most was the certainty that Seungmin felt the same way. He was just too good at hiding it, too good at pretending that he only cared for her as an older brother should.

She had tried to break through his facade more times than she could count. Casual touches, lingering hugs, the way she looked at him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. But Seungmin was always careful, always keeping his distance just enough to maintain the illusion of brotherly love and nothing more.

Yet, Y/N could see through him. The way his breath hitched when she was close, the slight tremor in his hand when she touched him, the way his eyes darkened with something she couldn’t quite name when their gazes locked. She knew Seungmin was hiding his true feelings, and it drove her mad with both frustration and longing.

One evening, as the sun dipped low in the sky, painting the world in hues of orange and pink, Y/N decided she couldn’t take it anymore. She found Seungmin in his room, reading as usual. His glasses perched on his nose, hair slightly tousled as if he had run his hand through it out of habit. He looked up as she entered, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Y/N, what’s up? Do you need something?” he asked, his voice as calm and controlled as ever.

She crossed the room, her heart pounding in her chest, and sat on the edge of his bed. “Seungmin, can we talk?”

He set the book aside, giving her his full attention. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “I feel like… like there’s something between us. Something more than just… sibling affection.”

For a brief moment, she saw a flicker of something in Seungmin’s eyes—fear, maybe, or perhaps desire. But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by that calm, composed mask he always wore around her.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice gentle but firm. “You’re my sister, my responsibility. It’s my job to take care of you, to make sure you’re happy and safe. That’s all.”

She shook her head, frustration bubbling up inside her. “No, Seungmin. I know you care about me, but I also know it’s more than just responsibility. You can’t lie to me forever.”

He looked away, his jaw tightening. “Y/N, this… whatever you’re feeling, it’s just confusion. We’re family now, and it’s natural to feel close to each other. But that’s all it is.”

“Is it?” she challenged, moving closer to him. “Because it doesn’t feel like that to me. And I don’t think it feels that way to you either.”

Seungmin stood up, creating distance between them as if he was afraid of what might happen if he didn’t. “Y/N, this is dangerous. We can’t… we can’t go there.”

“Why not?” she demanded, standing as well, refusing to let him escape. “Why can’t we be honest about how we feel?”

“Because it’s wrong!” he burst out, finally letting some of the emotion he’d been holding back spill over. “You’re my sister, Y/N. We can’t—” He stopped, taking a deep breath, trying to regain control. “I can’t let myself feel that way about you.”

“But you do,” she said quietly, stepping closer to him once more. “Don’t you?”

Seungmin’s resolve wavered. He looked at her, really looked at her, and for a moment, the mask slipped. The love, the desire, the guilt—all of it was there, clear as day in his eyes.

But then, with a visible effort, he forced it all back down, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “But I can’t.”

Y/N’s heart ached at the sight of him struggling so hard against his own feelings. She knew he was trying to protect them both, trying to do what he thought was right. But she also knew that denying what they felt was tearing him apart just as much as it was her.

“Seungmin,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. It’s okay to admit it… even if we don’t act on it, even if we decide it’s too complicated, too difficult. But you don’t have to keep pretending it isn’t there.”

He closed his eyes, her words cutting through his defenses like a knife. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, pulling away from her touch. “I just… I can’t.”

With that, he left the room, leaving Y/N standing there, her heart heavy with both sorrow and hope. She knew it would take time, that Seungmin might never fully allow himself to acknowledge the truth. But she also knew that the facade he was trying so hard to maintain was crumbling, bit by bit.

And one day, she hoped, he would finally let it fall.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ

[netherfeildren]

At the Restaurant

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Summary: It’s three days til Christmas, and you’ve never known want like this, and his eyes are glossy with emotion and everything he won’t ever let himself tell you or anyone else, and you so badly want to tell him that it’s only that it’s hard to be casual when your favorite bra lives in his dresser, and also that you’re in love with him.

-OR-

the Christmas situationship AU

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: Modern AU; Christmas fic; Angst; Fluff; Miscommunication; Emotionally unavailable idiots; But also idiots in love; Toxic relaationships; Situationship; There is nothing well adjusted about any of this pls don’t come into this house if that’s what you’re looking for; Trigger warning for man with an avoidant attachment style; Condolences to all my fellow victims of The Situationship; Size Difference; Unprotected Sex; Creampie; Oral Sex (F!Receiving); Frankly some pretty pathetic behavior; Girl stand UP; Fuckboy Din; Plan B and Delusion as a form of birth control; Pull and pray baby pull and pray; Possessive Behavior; Jealousy; Insecurity; Trigger warning for Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift references

A/N: Hello and welcome to my contribution to the holiday fic pool! This is not at all what I was planning as my holiday piece, but I woke up a few mornings ago and was just completely taken hold by this. Much love and thanks and gratitude and all the kisses in the world to my friend @f0rlornmyths for all the help on the idea and brainstorming and for the gorgeous edits she made for this little story. Mai baby, this is all for you, and I know it's not the Christmas gift I promised you, but I swear, one day that too will get written.

I’m wishing you all the happiest and most relaxing of holiday seasons. I think of you all constantly and wish you all the best always, and I hope you’re taking care of yourselves during this time ❣️🎄✨

Word Count: 8.2K

Read on AO3

He gets this sparkle in his eyes when the bar’s extra busy, cheeks flushed and curls damp with sweat and this shine that speaks; that tells of all the things he does that make a woman belong to him whenever he’s giving her his singular attention. Eyes that laugh and crinkle at the edges with happiness. Eyes that tell you how much he does or does not want you at that specific moment. And he’ll laugh and blind the room into seduction under the Christmas lights, and then he’ll turn, suddenly remembering you’re here for him, and look at you all serious-like, while you sip on your tequila soda, with two limes always because he knows that’s how you like it, and it’ll be a serious, cool look for just a second before it blooms into the best smile anyone’s surely ever had in all history, and you love him. 

It’s three days til Christmas, and you’ve never known want like this. You’ve never practiced restraint of this kind either. A restraint that suffocates and kills and could probably be taken as a form of self harm were you in a righter, more clear mind, but it’s the only thing you have left against him. Din. A control over yourself that falsely feeds you the illusion of power. You never call him. Never. Any interaction, any late night fuck, any time he comes over and comes inside you, it’s always, always because he calls you, he looks for you. You never beg, not with words at least, and you never text first and you never ask him if you can see him, and it’s the only way you tell yourself you maintain even a semblance of control. And at night, when you’re alone and it’s dark and you’ve only got the cat for some sad company, or you’re crying in bed because he hasn’t called, and you know he’s not at work and he’s obviously not at home, so he’s somewhere you don’t want him to be, that false sense of control that says you’re never the one reaching out, it’s always him coming around so surely that must mean something… it’s all you have at the end of it. 

He’s not your boyfriend. He never has been. And there’s always been that excuse you use to soothe yourself with of, well, we’ve never really talked about it, and he’s not really my boyfriend, so it doesn’t really matter. Does it? Doesn’t it? You’re sure you don’t know anymore. And you tell yourself, lie to yourself, comfort yourself, whatever it is your tired heart needs in that moment, because it truly is so tired, the push and pull is the most exhausting game in the world, that if he’s coming to you it’s because Din’s choosing you. Even if just for a night, even if just for now, even if tomorrow he’ll be with someone else, he chose you for tonight, and so surely that must mean something. It’s the worst thing you do to yourself, but it feels so good in the moment. You just can’t help yourself. 

“Another one?” He calls over his shoulder with a smile.

 You’d had a little bit of a… well, you don’t really know what to call it. A falling out, perhaps, because the two of you never have fights. You never fight, you never discuss the things the two of you should discuss, like feelings or anger or resentment or boundaries and wants and needs. Nothing. Nothing that indicates anything that might define what it is the two of you’ve been doing for two years with each other now. Fights are something couples do, and you two are not a couple. But up until three days ago, you’d not heard from him for two weeks. Two weeks of nothing, of hearing from your friends that they’d seen him out with his friends and other girls who you know probably mean nothing, even less than you do, but still. It’d made you insane. A little bit irrational, and so when you and your friends had gone out over the weekend, picked up a group of guys at the new bar you’d chosen for the night, since Din’s bar was off limits at the moment, and brought them back to your apartment at your roommate, Bo’s, insistence, well, you’d thought you’d give him a taste of his own medicine. After a slightly tipsy, teary eyed rant, explaining to your new friend for the night, a one Toro Calican, who had a very nice smile and very pretty eyes and not at all bad arms, all about your terrible situation with this man who you were not really in a relationship with, but who you have sex with, and only with him, regularly, unprotected, enthusiastically, but who is still not your boyfriend and not even anything close, he’d arranged himself very nice and cozy-looking in your bed with your twinkly lights sparkling in the background and your pink pig stuffy which Din loved to make fun of you for, and you’d taken a very tasteful, in your opinion, picture of him for your Instagram story. Again, a taste of his own medicine. 

Din had been at your front door forty five minutes later, angry. Angrier than you’d ever seen him before, and not at all trying to hide it. Pushing past you and into your apartment all tall and broad and wearing your favorite dark blue hoodie he knows you love, curls mused as if he’d been pulling his fingers through them in agitation. There’d been a sneaky, smarmy little devil inside of you doing a happy dance at that moment, and his eyes when he’d turned to glare at you after giving poor, Toro – casual, entirely unbothered, Toro with his big smile stretched across his handsome face as he’d looped an arm over Bo’s shoulders where he’d been sitting beside her on the couch – a look that said Din had half a mind to take him outside and wipe the floor with him. But your new friend had laughed him off, taking Din’s terribly cocky onceover, the sort he liked to set people down with, in stride. All arrogance and the sort of self assuredness only a man who knew what he was made of and how to take care of himself could possess. He was too hot for his, or your, own good. 

And when he’d turned and pushed you into your bedroom, a little tipsy, a lot desperate and pleased and wet, because yes, finally you were getting exactly what you wanted, exactly as you’d asked for it, and he’d flipped your skirt up and ripped your panties down and buried his face in your cunt from behind, all: this pussy’s mine, what the fuck was another dude doing in your bedroom? You’d been nothing but pleased giggles and hiccupy little moans as you’d come on his tongue just as he’d demanded of you. 

It was wrong. The two of you were wrong and maybe even bad for each other, but also, and this was only your own personal, fanciful discernment, addicted. A mutual addiction. The way he fucked you, hard and deep and possessive, like you belonged to him. Tugging you up by the hips and pulling you back onto his hard cock, the wet slap of your pussy dripping for him so that it surely echoed through the thin door of your shitty little apartment for the man who’d threatened what Din saw as rightfully his could hear exactly what was happening in here. You should have cared more about this ridiculous display of a pissing contest. You should have been bothered by it. You absolutely were not. And when he’d gone harder than stone, shoved deeper than you could comfortably take him so that you were coming around his cock one last time from the stretch and sting of it, and he’d filled you to leaking without even asking, you’d not even blinked at it, had been nothing but contented sighs.

It was all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Even worse, you’d never been on birth control. It made you sick, tired, moody, and the two of you worked around it… sometimes… kind of. Condoms when you remembered, usually ripped off mid fuck, pulling out… also sometimes. Never very responsible or dedicated to the practice of safe sex and level headedness, more focused on how fucking good it always felt when he was inside of you like this all bare and wet and hot and his. And if he fucked other girls, well, you tried not to think about that. Got tested, told yourself you were the only one he didn’t use protection with because you were special when they were not. And if there was, that last horribly misguided whisper that said, well, if he’s taking this risk with you, then obviously that means something too, right? Then so be it.

Again, like you’d said, bad for each other. 

But he always gave you so many reasons to be stupid, delusional, like the way he’d kissed you before he’d gone the morning after, while you were still sleepy and warm and a little sweaty from where you’d been pressed together so close through the night, wet and sticky between your legs from his come. He’d wrapped his arms around you and pressed you so, so close to his chest, nipples bare and tight against hard muscle and wispy hair. The musky sleep smell of him as he’d started at your shoulder, mouth slow and damp, kissed and nibbled his way up your collarbone, your throat, your jaw, settled at your ear to taste that soft place behind, pressed his tongue there to feel the echo of your pulse moving through your whole body, the flutter of his long lashes against your skin because he’s just that close. Your toes had curled and spasmed, little and cold, bracing against his hairy shins and big feet, hard cock nestled between the warmth of your thighs. And he always makes the best sounds, you know, deep and rumbly and all man. Familiar sounds that you’re able to replay again and again in your mind afterwards when he’s gone, sounds that make it easy for you to pretend he’s yours because you know them so well, and you want to keep him so bad it makes your stomach hurt. Gotta go get the kid, he’d said, by way of explanation for why he wasn’t pushing up into your come soaked cunt and having you one more time again, but he’d stayed and kissed you. And when he’d finally found his way to your mouth, sipping on you, tasting behind your teeth, along the wet of your tongue, that was all that really mattered anyway. 

Sometimes, he kisses you like he loves you, and it makes you hate him. 

He hadn’t called in the three days since then, but he’d been kind enough to DoorDash you a Plan B and a bag of your favorite Dove dark chocolate bites, and you want to hate him and maybe even run him over with you car, you really do, but then tonight, out of nowhere while you’d been at home telling yourself you weren’t going to cry, tired and sweaty from lying under your duvet for too long, fingers slippery between cunt and cotton, too many unsatisfying orgasms and a tear worthy film already chosen as your excuse for later, he’d sent a: come to the bar tonight, baby, I want to see you. And well, he’d come looking for you, right? He’d texted first. So really, this was all him wanting you and choosing you.

You need help, electroshock therapy, a lobotomy, anything. But you’d gotten your butt up and dressed, begged Bo to come out with you, and now here the two of you sit, good friend that she is, waiting for him to finally come over and say more than three stringed together words to you. Shaved, lotioned, perfumed, pathetic little ass sitting at the end of his bar in a too sticky, too uncomfortable stool waiting for him. Always waiting for him.

You shake your head no at him and his proffered next round. No you don’t want another fucking drink. What you want is his attention. 

And the worst part is, probably the worst, for there are so many bad parts to this, is that you don’t truly think he’s a terrible person, Din. He’s just so… he’s just– you don’t know. Sad, busy, exhausted, selfish, overwhelmed, so many things. But not bad, not actually a bad person. You’re sure of it. And it might look so differently from the outside, like you’re nothing, like he uses you, and sure, in ways, he does. You’re not so stupid or naive to not see this for what it is, because if there is one thing that is crystal clear here, it’s that you’ve always known what this is and what it is not. But you also see him. You also know him, as hard as he’s tried to keep you at arms length, to not let you see, to not let you in, you’ve weaseled your way inside anyways, or, better said, and something you don’t let yourself dwell on too much for the things it makes your stupid brain and heart feel, he has never been very good at not letting you see him. Because despite all the truths of how this thing between the two of you is, or is not, there is also something, as small as it may be, that is real here. 

So no, Din is not bad, or not all bad. And it’s easy to call them excuses, but you’re not so sure that’s the only thing they are, the ways in which you justify his behavior or yours. Because there is also context to him, and his life, and the things that drag his attention away from you when you so desperately need and want it, why you know he won’t commit to one single thing because he knows how easily lost a good thing can be. 

You take a pull from your straw, paper, and it’s already coming apart in wet flakes on your tongue because this dumb bar he works at pretends to be swanky, and paper straws are obviously a signifier that it’s not the cheap, shitty dump it actually is. Mean, but you’re in a bad mood tonight. Peli, the owner, had him string up multicolored lights and decorations everywhere for the holiday season, and it sort of looks like Santa threw up in here, but it’s also nice. Cozy or comfortable or welcoming, something happy and cheerful about the crowd surrounded by the sparkle of the holiday and loose from the heavily poured liquor. Or maybe it’s just that you know he put up the decorations. That he’d been good and patient and helpful as the older woman, eccentric and curly haired and a little stern and potty mouthed as she is, but always kind to him, had directed him as she pleased. Giving orders so that the bar could look as lovely and warm and cheerful as it does now. He always looks at her with such care and warmth, and you alway see it, as much as he tries to hide it. 

He’d added a splash of sweet grenadine and a maraschino cherry into your drink tonight, and called it your slutty Shirley Temple, said you looked like you needed something sweet followed by one of those cocky little winks he thinks make him look hot, they do, but you tell him only make him look like an asshole. All of which you know is only his way of telling you, without actually telling you, that he’s going to be shoving his cock down your throat later tonight. Something sweet… yeah, sure. There’s nothing sweet about him. 

He always tells you so many things neither of you want the other to know with his eyes. The stupid things, the silly things, the real things, it doesn’t really matter. He can’t ever help it. 

The first time he’d told you about his parents, you’d thought: this is it, this is something real. The come down had been a singular type of devastating you don't think you’d recovered from to this day. They’d died in a home invasion, a robbery gone terribly, terribly wrong, when he’d been two months shy of eighteen; left him with too much responsibility and too much grief for a boy of seventeen to bear, to ever be able to grow into without growing a little bit skewed in the process. When he’d introduced you to his little brother, the first time, you’d been better prepared, better in control of yourself and your expectations. But still, still you’d let a small, small part of you let it mean something. Grogu, Greg, but they used to watch this cartoon together about this man, a warrior, a space cowboy of sorts, who finds a little green baby, more frog looking than baby looking, called Grogu and takes him in as his own, bringing him along on all his adventures through the big, wide galaxy. They’d always joked that Greg looked like the frog baby, and so, Grogu. 

The first time he’d asked you to come over, you’d forced yourself to not throw up as you’d seen the text come in, had to force away thoughts of this has to mean something, please, please, let this mean something more. And the kid had been asleep already anyways when he’d smuggled you inside, quick and quiet, locking the door to his bedroom behind you, messy and lived in and Din, Din, Din everywhere, pressed you into his rumpled mattress, and fucked you til you’d cried and bit your tongue until you’d tasted blood to keep in all the things you had inside to tell him. And in the morning, when he’d made you a cup of coffee and oh, isn’t he nice for that? The kid had stumbled out of his bedroom, dinosaur pj’s and sleep rumpled curls the same warm mahogany shade as his older brother’s turned pseudo father, and he’d had his waffles while you’d sat there between the two of them as Din’d clucked around making lunches, sipping from your mug trying as best you could to be a good girl and not whip around and scream at the man that this has to mean something more, please. 

The kid had eyed you skeptically, as if you’d had two heads, little fuzzy brow cocked high up towards his curl covered hairline while he chomped loudly on his waffles. More syrup than bread, but who were you to judge? 

“Are you Din’s girlfriend?”

And rather than drop dead on the spot or bear the devastation of hearing the refusal come out of his older brother’s mouth, the second you’d seen Din’s own eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline, mouth falling open to probably tell him no, absolutely not, she’s nothing even close to being my girlfriend, you’d said as easy as you could manage, “No, we’re just friends.” Even added in a fake, tepid smile as you’d said the words. And now, as time’s passed since then, when you think back on the memory, you tell yourself that you’d imagined the frown and scowl that’d pulled Din’s face down into something that looked a little like annoyance or anger or confusion. He’d never done anything to make you think you were anything otherwise, and so what good did it do to dwell on the maybe false memory of his look of disappointment at your words? None at all, surely. 

But you’re pretty sure you’re the only girl that’s ever been let into their space like that.

He’s at the other end of the bar now, engrossed in a conversation with someone who’s too sparkly and too pretty and too blonde to be anything but trouble for you. His tall, deceptively lanky form that you know beneath the dark baggy, long sleeved tee he’s wearing is strong and muscled and warm as a furnace, curved over the lip of the bar to lean further towards her. They’ve been talking for about five minutes now, yes, you’ve been counting, and your heart is doing that horrible thing it does where it hurts so bad it feels like it’s ripping in half all on its own. You want to look away, especially as you watch the long, gorgeous form of his hand, big, strong hands that you know exactly what they feel like wrapped around your throat, clutching your breasts, lift slowly towards the glowing Christmas lights necklace the girl’s got hanging around her neck, the cheery red and green lights nestled deep in her cleavage. He plucks at the necklace, giving it a little tug and says something to her that has her throwing her head back, and she sparkles, she really does, with those sort of laughs that tinkle like bells or something equally fucking ridiculous.

“We should just go, babe,” Bo says from beside you, glaring down at him so intensely you’re shocked he hasn’t keeled over dead at this point. 

“Just a little bit longer, Bo, please.” 

“God, I can’t watch this shit anymore.” She pushes up and out of her stool with a roll of her eyes, but passes a loving hand down the back of your hair as she goes. “I’m gonna go try and pick up that red head sitting in the back. She’s been eyeing me all night,” she smirks at you. 

“You cannot date another ginger. That is too much ginger for one household.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re in love with the devil, I can do whatever I want. And I can’t watch him anymore, I don’t have the stomach for it.”

You try and protest as she walks away from you, tell her that you’re not in love with him, that he’s not the devil, that you don’t have the stomach for it either, but she’s gone before you can muster your lies. When you turn back towards the bar he’s abandoned his Christmas lights blonde and is pouring drinks for a group of frat guys, checking I.D.s and making easy, charming conversation. He’s strange in that way, quiet and reserved by nature, which you know now because you know him, but he puts on a face in here, in Peli’s bar in front of the customers and the pretty girls and the people expecting him to perform for them, making nice and pleasant. It’s just one more thing that feeds your delusion, the fact that you see his smile for what it is, the too handsome, too shiny version you know isn’t the real one. 

You know that despite the fact that Bo loves you, she also thinks you’re a little sad, a lot weak, when it comes to him. Maybe even, and you know she’d never say this because she’s a good and loving friend, but maybe even a little pathetic or desperate. And maybe you are, or definitely, you don’t really care about the details of it at this point, but maybe there’s also something about him that’s slightly desperate too. Desperate for love or attention or companionship. Maybe that’s why he always feels the need to search for it in so many different places. Maybe he wants it so bad he’s scared of it. Or maybe he’s just easy. Maybe he’s just a whore. 

You don’t know if the why’s of it all really matter anymore. 

He serves the group their shots and beers, all of them clinking their glasses together loudly, hooting and wishing each other a Merry Christmas, and you want to snap that it’s not Christmas yet, it’s still the twenty third, it’s a special day that should be remembered, but you turn away. Try to swallow the heat in your face and throat, take deep breaths. Bo’s right, the two of you should go, but when you turn to search for her, she’s deep in conversation with the red head, gorgeous, strong and tall and just her type. Their two heads huddled closely together beneath the red lights that turn their hair both brighter shades of auburn. And you know you can’t interrupt. At least one of you should have a good night tonight. But when you turn back around, ready to join the frat bros in on their shots, he’s there. 

You swivel in your stool, catching yourself on the lip of the bar, digging your nails into the wood grain until it hurts, staring at him in silence. 

“What?” he asks with that slightly provoking smile he forces on you when he knows you’re bothered and refuse to open your stubborn mouth and just speak up. 

“Nothing.” Stubborn, sullen. Terrible.

He hums, laughter dancing in his eyes that pisses you off. He knows you’re bothered, knows you won’t say anything about it either. “Want another?”

“Sure.” You might as well get drunk if you’re going to have to watch him be a jackass all night long. 

He starts to move about, gathering the things for your cocktail. “You like the grenadine I added?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

He looks at you with a half smile and a cocked brow as he measures the shot. He never makes your drinks as heavy handed as the others, says you’re a bad drunk. Whatever. “Yeah? You like the Christmas decorations?”

“They’re nice.” He hums again at your sullen tone. And you want to be nicer, happier, peppier, whatever it is that would be enough to make this all right and better between the two of you, inside of you, but you just can’t. You can’t force yourself into a shape that’s okay with being without him, and it’s getting harder and harder to pretend it’s something you’re capable of. 

He adds your two limes and tops the drink off with a Santa printed mini umbrella Peli had gotten an order of in bulk, pushing the glass into your hand. He braces his hands against the bar edge, watching you as you bring the drink up to taste, peering over the edge to keep your eyes on him. The lights twinkle over head, washing him in a glow of greens and reds and warmth, and his eyes do that terrible sparkle you hate in return. 

Sometimes you think he likes it when you’re pissy. Turns him on or something which sickly, stupidly, in turn, riles you up, knowing he’s turned on by your anger. 

You take a long pull of the fizzy, mildly sweet drink, licking your lips of the tang and bubbles when you pull it away, and watch as his eyes go a little hazy, glassed over as he watches the wet of your tongue peek out to lick up the drops of sweet liquor. You watch a swallow pass through the strong column of his throat, and his gaze is still on your mouth when he cocks his head at you. “C’mere,” he murmurs, eyes shifting to take in the crowd, the customers and the status of their drinks before he’s tugging at your hand over the bar, drawing you out of your seat and along the length of it from the other side. 

“To where?” You whisper at him, nerves of excitement, of want, fluttering in your belly and throat all fizzy and sweet. He tips his chin at the cracked open door of the stock room, the warm glow from within peering out, and then back again once over at the crowd before you’re at the end of the bar, and he’s tugging you inside after him. You tip your chin over your shoulder just before he kicks the door shut behind you, taking in Peli’s knowing look and the laughing shake of her head, and then it’s just the two of you. Hungry and hurried as he’s pulling you into himself, big hands immediately cupping your ass to tug you up into him with a cracked groan. “Want to fucking kiss you so bad,” he licks into your mouth, tasting like the coffee he drinks too much of and the cinnamon gum you know he’s always chewing. 

“Din–” and you’re about to protest, say that everyone’ll have seen the two of you come in here, Peli, the blonde Christmas light girl, that the whole bar is going to think he brought you in here for a quick fuck, but you and he both know you don’t really care if anyone thinks that. That probably, if you’re really honest, you’d be glad for everyone to think you’re his that way. So you kiss him back. Arms looping around his neck to hang off of him, fingers twining in the thick curls at the nape of his neck, the hair there so silky smooth, cool at the ends but warm and damp at the roots. And this is what you were talking about, when he kisses you like he loves you which makes you hate him. All tongue and teeth and desperation. His mouth sliding against yours, spit slick and heat heavy. Big hands kneading at your ass, clutching at the short skirt of your dress, pulling it up so he can shove his palm between the nylon of your tights and your warm skin and cup you over the wet mound of your cunt. 

“Fucking warm and soft for me, baby.” He kisses his way down your neck, licking at your cleavage, tugging at your ear. “You smell so good,” and he squeezes you against himself, dragging his palm back and forth over your pussy as best as the constricting tights let him. “I can’t wait to fuck you later.”

“Me either, Din,” you say because there’s nothing else to say besides, I love you. Please, love me back. He groans into your mouth, pressing you back into a little arc hooked over his arm, something frenzied and a little sloppy about the way he kisses you like he wants you so much he can’t control himself. And when the two of you stumble out a few minutes later, hair tousled and flushed with heat, the shine of your lipgloss transferred onto his own lips and those sparkly eyes of his cranked up to blinding so that the whole bar can see what it is the two of you have been up to in the stock room, there’s nothing but sweet, fizzy pleasure suffusing your belly. Even if it isn’t real, everyone else thinks it is, maybe for tonight that can be enough. 

-

“The tree’s really cute,” you say as he helps you out of your coat, unwrapping the scarf from around your neck, round and round until he lets it slither from his hand onto the messy floor of his bedroom. 

“Yeah, well, G wanted a real one so… my ass went out and got him a real one.” 

You reach up to card your fingers through the floppy curls falling over his forehead, pushing them back to twist in your fingers and pull his head down towards yours. “Good brother,” you murmur against his mouth. You want to ask him if he remembers what tonight is; wanted to ask him all night but kept your mouth shut for fear of that utterly vacant look in his eyes when he’d have no idea what you were talking about. 

He settles into your kiss, knees bent to come down to your level, sighing deep and long as he licks at you slowly, sucks on your bottom lips, a gentle nip. “Looked so pretty for me tonight,” he says, and he’s such a good kisser, and all you can say is a breathless thank you, trying to swallow the immediate lump in your throat back down because the only other thing to say would be you’re right, it’s all for you, or I hate it when you say these things to me, I hate it when you’re nice to me and then turn around and act like I’m a stranger, like I’ve never meant anything to you at all. You press up higher, insistent, on your tiptoes, trying to get closer, more of him. He runs his hands up the length of your spine, one arm banding around your waist, the other coming up to twist in your hair, tugging your head back sharply and pulling your mouth from his. 

“What do you want, sweet girl?”

And what a cruel, terrible question. You, is what you should say. Ruin the moment or the false magic, glass shattered on the white cloth. And so, “Fuck me,” is all you say instead because that’s all this is anyway. He peers down at you, fathomless look on his face, no more bright sparkle in his eyes, something more like an ember. You think you like this look better, it’s more for you, and there's something satisfying about that. 

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

He pulls your clothes from you slowly, and he can be so tender sometimes, slow and precise in the things he does, the way he moves. Sometimes he fucks you hard and fast and sloppy. But not always. Other times he does it in a way that is much, much worse. Slow and deep and intentional. He lays you out across his messy bed and spreads you open for himself. Starts at your feet, kissing the soles and the creases and marks over the arches and around your ankles from your tights and boots. Up the slope of your calf, teeth dragging sharply, a little too hard over the muscle. He kisses the backs of your knees, a place only he has ever thought to kiss, and you won’t cry, but you’d like to. His tongue along the soft of your thighs, stubble chafing and tickling, and when he finally gets to your cunt, soaking wet, glossy with your slick for him, his tongue drags up your slit slow and teasing one second, deep, fucking inside of you the next. He makes you come on his face twice before he even thinks of being nice and letting up. Sucking on your clit, taking each soft lip gentle, gentle between the edge of his teeth and tugging so soft you almost don’t feel it. He licks and licks and slurps up your wet, and you know he enjoys this because of his own sounds. When he rips his t-shirt over his head because he’s steaming with sweat and want, the zip of his jeans ringing so that he can get his fist around his cock and jack himself while he licks up the splash of your second orgasm. 

He kisses you everywhere when he’s had his fill, twists and turns you this way and that, groping and kneading and taking every inch of you in so that no spot of skin is left uninspected or untasted. Pulls you up and under his arm so he can peer down at you from behind, lemme look at that little asshole now, he says all nasty the way he gets sometimes, and spreads your cheeks apart. You brace yourself against the column of his throat and hold on to the bulge of his bicep and try and breathe through your mouth and pray for control and temperance and the will to not spill all your truths to him. Difficult, when he manhandles you like this, when he pets and licks and kisses you all over and tells you how pretty all your holes are for him. 

His cock is so hard when he finally settles on his knees between your spread thighs, on your back again so that you can see his pulse in the tiny, subtle beat of his erection as it stands up, curving towards his flat belly. No condom, and you want to say thank you for letting you feel him like this. 

He pushes your knees wide and grips his cock, twisting his fist around the sticky glossed head, flushed red almost purple. You love it when he’s this hard, when you know it’s all for you, when you know you’re the only one in this moment that can fix it for him. 

“Get it wet for me,” he nods his head at your slick cunt, parted and bared to him just like he likes. You dip your fingers into the well of wetness, play in it, watch the shiny string of slick stretch between your pussy and fingers, and no one makes you as wet or as desperate as he does, and like he can read your mind he tells you, no one makes me as hard as you do, and you do not tell him that that isn’t something you want to hear, that that isn’t something that makes you feel good. The reminder that there are others. 

You wrap your slippery fingers around his cock, coating him in yourself and when you pull him towards you, notching him at the mouth of your cunt, and finally – finally, I’ve been waiting for this all night, and you can’t even tell who says it – it’s so fucking good that all the rest of it is worth it for this singular feeling right here. 

He pushes in, in, in, heavy balls pressed against the wet curve of your bottom, and you’re so soaked it’s slid down between your ass, marked his sheets with you, swings his hips back all smooth and wet and shoves back inside. His mouth is at your tits, folded over you, caging you in, biting and sucking on bare, tight nipples he tells you belong to him, cunt he fucks hard and deep he tells you also belongs to him.

He pulls an ankle up over his shoulder, changes the angle and drills into you hard and fast, other knee hooked over his elbow so you’re pressed and folded and presented to him just how he likes and needs, and he makes you say his name over and over, tells you exactly how he wants you to come on his cock just for him. His pelvis bumps your clit on every push forward, too thick cock wedged inside your cunt so that you’re stretched around him and no matter how many times you do this, it always hurts just a little. Like everything else the two of you do together. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he groans. “You take it so fucking good. Don’t come yet– don’t come. With me– wait for me. I want it together.” And you do cry at that, when he changes the angle once more and shoves in hard against your g-spot, the fat tip of his cock punching against it over and over so that there’s heat pooling at the base of your spine, stars flashing behind your closed lids, your breasts going hot and heavy and tight, stomach clenching with the effort to stave off your orgasm and do as he asks. He breathes into your mouth, and it’s all hot and damp skin and your sweaty limbs sliding against each other, open mouth to open mouth. 

“Now,” he says, pulls you onto him deeper with a tight grip on your ass, long fingers wrapped over the curve so that he can feel the wet, stretched place where he takes you, makes you his. “Take the whole fucking thing,” he whispers against your lips, and as your cunt goes tight as a knot, painful in that way that only he can make it, that’s so good, that way that always keeps you coming back for more, you finally start to cry real tears. Not just from his cock but from the whole of him, from everything he does to you. Your heart beats fast, fast, fast, and you count the days in the month til your period, the little game you like to play with yourself when the two of you are bad like this, and then decide you don’t really give a fuck as he starts to fill you with the heat of his come.

He stays inside of you for too long after the last throb of his cock. Rubbing his lips all over your neck and shoulders and tits, tasting you and giving you too much time to memorize the pattern and cadence of his breathing. And when he pulls out and pulls back to look at the slick, puffy sight of your cunt full of his come, he bends to lick you clean like he always does. Gives you one more orgasm, the last nail in the coffin or your heart. 

Sated and spent, you glance at the clock, and it’s officially Christmas Eve. You know he goes all out for Grogu, milk and cookies for Santa, stockings and gifts, the works. He is an exceptionally good brother, all a child could need in a father figure, and there had never really been any chance of you doing anything else besides loving him. 

When you pull the gift from your bag, heart in your throat and halfway to regret but more resolve than you’ve ever had in his presence, you tell yourself that if this brings on the end of everything, that you’ll find a way to be okay with it. If you’ve gone too far, done too much, you’ll accept it, count your losses, and what great losses they’ll surely be, but you’ll move on as best you can. 

You’d picked some pretty, baby blue paper with little red robins on it, a soft gold ribbon tied around the package. The sight of it makes you want to cry. You’d tried so hard, you really had. 

He’s quiet when you put it into his hands, staring down at it like it’ll reach out and bite his head off if he blinks even once. Swallowing several times before he says, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know. It’s– it’s for the both of you, kind of.” Him and his little brother.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“No– that’s okay. I know. You didn’t have to.” Your voice comes out all breathless and full of nerves. You should’ve put your clothes on before you did this, made for a quicker, easier get away if necessary. 

He pulls the wrapping apart slowly, gently untying your ribbon, long fingers carefully picking at the little pieces of tape at each end so that he doesn’t tear the paper and disturb the robins. 

“Where did you get this?” He says when he’s finally unwrapped it, his voice telling you instantly that you’ve made a terrible mistake. 

“It– it was in your drawer. I–”

“You went through my stuff?” He says, eyes snapping up to yours, finally looking away from the photograph you’d copied and framed for him. A picture of him and Grogu and his parents. Grogu, a baby, Din, a boy of maybe eight, gap toothed, cheesy grin and messy curls between his smiling parents. They looked, very much, like a deliriously happy family, and you’d thought it such a shame it was stuffed in his sock drawer when you’d found it, left to be forgotten. You’d only wanted to do something nice for him. 

“N–no. I mean… not intentionally. I was looking for my extra clothes – the ones you told me to leave here – and I–” your lashes flutter, overwhelmed. He suddenly looks so angry. “I saw it in your drawer. I didn’t mean– I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry, I–” You don’t know what to say. All of your falsely held control in tatters at your feet and tears in your eyes as you take in the horrible look on his face. Shocked, angry, hurt, but his gaze leaves the photograph again, shifts back to your face at the crack in your voice. 

He presses forward, as if to reach for you, realizing you’re about to cry. “It’s fine.” I’m sorry, Din, you murmur again. “It’s just–” He shakes his head, a frustrated noise in his throat, his voice all graveled and cracked like yours. He seems so much like a boy in this moment. A child confronted by a past he was too young to lose when he did, forced into the shape of a man too soon. “You know that this–we–” He motions between the two of you.

“Yes. I do,” you cut him off quickly. Assuming what he’s going to cut down here between the two of you before he gets the words out. He doesn’t need to say it, not out loud. He doesn’t need to be that cruel. The strength it takes the both of you to bite your tongues in that moment, as you take each other in, swells to a near painful pressure, and there is something so sick here between the two of you. His eyes are glossy with emotion and everything he won’t ever let himself tell you or anyone else, and you so badly want to tell him that it’s only that it’s hard to be casual when your favorite bra lives in his dresser, and also that you’re in love with him. 

“Thank you,” he finally says quietly, and you can’t answer, looking away out at the dark night through his murky paneled window. It looks like it’s about to snow, all the ingredients for a perfect Christmas at play. The room is so warm and his bed is so comfortable, and you feel so full of fragile and soft things inside. “You’re going to see your family tomorrow?” He still has the picture frame in his hands, fingers smoothing methodically over the edges, thumb swiping gently over the happy faces inside. 

You clear your throat, “Yeah, tonight. I’m going to my parents house, spending the night there.” And it’s on the tip of your tongue to invite the both of them to come too. You know your parents would love to have them, you would love to have them there, him, but the words stick in your throat with the fear of his rejection, and the two of you fizzle awkwardly into a heavy silence. 

You look out at the window again, too much of a coward to look into those bright eyes, but you can feel his gaze on you, singing the side of your face, and suddenly you feel him scoot over towards you. Deep sigh, dragging the duvet with him, wrapped around his bare shoulders all messy hair and flushed cheeks still steaming from your sex. No one should look like he does. No one. It’s the most unfair thing that’s ever happened to you in your whole life. He grips you around the bend of your bare knee, pulls you halfway into his lap, and your eyes are still fixated out on the night, the dark much safer than anything that lives inside this room.

“You remember when we met?” He says. The tears are back. “It was tonight.” Two years ago.

You tip your chin at the window. “At the restaurant…”

“...Down on eighty seventh street. Two years ago.”

“Yes.” You finally look at him. “I remember,” you whisper. Your mouth feels so dry, your heart so flinty.  

“The place had all those string lights put up, and we sat at that table outside in the back behind that group having their Christmas work party. You remember?” Of course you do. You only can't believe he remembers. He’d been wearing an olive green half zip sweater, and he’d smelled of laundry detergent and whiskey and cinnamon gum when he’d kissed you for the first time. 

“I had the best old fashioned I’ve ever had at that place. We should go back. And it was so cold, you remember? You never stopped shivering.”

“Yes, Din. I remember.”

“That was a good night.”

“Sure it was,” and it comes out with a bite you can’t help, for so many reasons you can and cannot explain. 

He gives one of those non committal hums he loves to provoke you with, that little glint back in his eyes. “Sure it was? What?”

“Nothing.”

“Is there something you wanna talk about?” The white elephant in the room, come to ruin everything, shatter all the glass, disturb the dust in your hair and break your heart. 

He tips your head back by your chin, two fingers holding you there, never letting you go. You shake your head at him caught up in his grasp like that. “No. I don’t want to talk about anything.”

And he gives you the strangest look, and for one second you wonder suddenly if that look you’ve always taken as provoking is not so much teasing, but more pleading, more knowing. “No…” he says, chews on his thoughts, strong, scruffy jaw with the heart shaped patch moving side to side. “I know you don’t,” and leans forward to press one single soft, chaste kiss to your open mouth. “You know what you are?” He says then, and the look is now entirely unknowable, confusing. 

Your eyes flick back to the window. “What?” Back to him again, breathless. 

“You’re my girl.” And out of the corner of your eye, you can see that there, finally, is the Christmas snow.

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog!

[thus-spoke-lo]

Dr. Feelgood // Portgas D. Ace x afab!reader // NSFW/18+ Kink: Roleplay

A/N: thanks to law's patient anon for the concept and story elements! CW: afab!reader [no pronouns used for reader]; doctor/patient roleplay with light medical exam; oral sex [m receiving]; vaginal fingering; unprotected vaginal intercourse WC: 2.1k // Fictober Masterlist

You sit expectantly on the edge of the bed, swinging your legs, waiting patiently for…something.

Ace had approached you earlier, a cheeky grin stretched across his lips, and said he had a special surprise in store for you—but you had to be in his quarters exactly at noon.

“And don’t be late, cutie,” he’d growled as he grabbed at your ass with a warm hand.

And so you sit, and you wait, time crawling slowly towards midday as you huff and try to ignore the pounding in your chest, wondering what in the hell kind of surprise Ace has in store for you. You hear shuffling outside, then a soft knock comes at the door—who would be stopping by Ace’s quarters right now?

“Uh, come in?” you mutter, suddenly glad you hadn’t tried to surprise Ace back by reclining on the bed nude like you’d briefly considered.

The door slowly opens and in walks Ace, and your eyebrows raise as you look him up and down: he’s shirtless, in cargo shorts and boots as he so often was, but over his bare torso he wears a doctor’s coat that seems just a little too big for him, with a stethoscope hanging around his neck and a clipboard held tightly in his hands. You smirk and wonder exactly how much shit Marco must have given him to hand all this over—there was no way he got away without at least a friendly interrogation that probably left his cheeks burning.

“Hello. I’m—um…” Ace trails off and nervously adjusts his hat, clearly unprepared for his introduction. He closes the door behind him, straightening his back a little and clearing his throat before continuing. “I’m...Dr. Feelgood.”

You blink a few times at him and grin, trying to keep yourself from asking him what in the world has possessed him. “Well, good afternoon, doctor.”

“I see you’re here for, uh”—he glances down at the clipboard and you can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he determines the most appropriate malady to give you—“you’re here for ‘pussy problems’?”

“Y-yeah.” You flatten your lips together to suppress the chortle that rumbles in your chest and nod slowly. “That’s exactly it, doctor.”

“I see.” He furrows his brow, placing a finger on his lips in thought while he saunters towards you. “Why don’t you tell me about your symptoms?”

It’s all so damned cheesy, and you’re on the verge of a laughing fit, but you have to admit—there is something sexy about seeing Ace so serious, the open front of the white coat framing the corrugated leanness of his abdominal muscles perfectly as he pretends to be deep in thought, trying to maintain the illusion of professionalism despite the fact you know he’d rather be on top of you already, pounding you into the mattress.

“Well, you see, doctor,” you murmur, fixing your mouth in a pout, “I have this ache that won’t go away.”

“Is that so?” Ace’s eyes trail over your body, watching your every movement. “And where might this ache be?”

“Well it’s, ah—it’s down here.” You uncross your bare legs and slowly spread them apart, your shorts riding up your thighs as you do. You slide your hand down your torso, until your fingertips reach the apex of your thighs; you softly press against the seam of your shorts, feeling the stiff fabric push against your clit. “Right here—this is where it aches the most, doctor.”

Ace inhales sharply and licks his lips as he watches you fondle yourself. “That sounds serious. Why don’t you go ahead and undress for me, and I’ll do a very thorough exam.”

You stand and start to pull your shirt over your head, glancing up at Ace who is leaned against the wall, gripping the clipboard in one hand while the other moves down to the front of his shorts.

“Are you just gonna watch me get undressed, doctor?” you tease as you unhook your bra.

“Well, I think I should see that hot bo—um, your body in motion.” A deep blush begins to spread across his tanned cheeks, and he grips himself through the fabric of his shorts, a low hiss leaving his lips. “You know, to check your bones and muscles.”

“Right, of course.” You wink and begin to slowly unbutton your shorts, making a show of sliding them down your hips nice and slow along with your panties and kicking them to the side. You sit back down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on your palms, your thighs spread just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the wetness that coats your slit—you’d been thinking of nothing else but him for hours leading up to this, and you were frustratingly wet and needy by now.

“Alright, let’s get started.” Ace sets the clipboard down and slowly approaches you, grasping your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head to one side and then the other, up and then down. “Hm, everything looks fine here—just a pretty face is all I see.”

Next, he inserts the earpieces of the stethoscope in his ears and gently places the shining chest piece against your sternum, just between your breasts; you let out a sharp gasp as the cool metal hits your skin.

“Are you okay?” Ace quickly asks, a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

“I’m fine, baby” you whisper, trying not to break the immersion, finding that you’re almost starting to get wrapped up in your role. “That’s just a little chilly.”

Ace nods and bites his lip as he slides the metal across your skin, watching your body respond to the cold while he listens to your heart race inside your chest. His pupils grow as your skin tightens, goosebumps spreading across your breasts. He groans and runs the pad of his finger over your pebbled nipple, watching the way you squirm under his touch.

“Very responsive,” he says in a husky whisper, breaking through his thin veneer of professionalism to place his lips on your other nipple, swirling his tongue around it, moaning against your skin while you writhe in your seat, pressing your thighs together to try to find relief for the burning ache in your core. Ace’s warm hand trails down your stomach, landing on your mound, his fingers lightly running through your pubic hair. “And this is where it hurts, right?”

“E-exactly,” you stutter, watching as he kneels down on the floor and sits back on his heels, needing him to touch you, to give you relief in the way only he knows how.

“I’m gonna touch you and you tell me right where it is, okay?”

“Sure thing, doctor.”

Ace can barely contain the desire building inside him, and he slides his thumb down, pressing it on your swollen clit, watching with fascination as you instinctively buck your hips to rut against his hand. “Right there, huh?”

“Yeah,” you softly moan, your eyes closing as he starts to make circles over your aching bundle of nerves. “That’s it, right there.”

“Mm, I see.” He exhales and continues his ministrations, moving his other hand up your leg, caressing the plushness of your thighs. “Well, let me see if I can give you a little temporary relief.”

He pushes one finger past your glistening pussy lips, sliding it inside you, then adding a second before slowly pumping them in and out, stroking your velvet walls while he teases your clit. It’s maddening how well he knows your body, how his heated hands know just how to move, how he crooks his fingers upwards to press against that spot inside you that makes your legs tremble and your body pulse with electricity. It’s not long before the tension in your belly snaps and you reach your peak, your cunt spasming around his unrelenting fingers as wave after wave of pleasure courses through you.

Ace moves his hands from between your thighs and stands, licking your wetness off his fingers; you can easily see his arousal straining against his shorts, and you resist the urge to reach out and stroke him through the fabric. This was his little game, and you were but his eager patient, waiting for your next instructions.

“One last thing we need to do.” He slowly drops his shorts to the floor and steps out of them, stands before you in only the white coat and his boots, his hard cock twitching as he meets your gaze. “I need to take your temperature. Now stick out your tongue and say ‘ahh.’”

You do as you’re told, parting your lips and letting your tongue flop out of your mouth. He grips his throbbing cock by the base and guides it into your mouth, gently gliding his length along your tongue. He places one hand on the back of your head to hold you still and holds his cock in your mouth for a moment, letting you feel every throb, every pulse, on your tongue. It seems almost torturous for Ace to pull away from you, as he quickly mutters, “Okay, okay, that’s enough,” under his breath as he slides out of your mouth, taking a moment to run the reddened, leaking head along your lips before stepping back.

“Alright,” Ace manages to blurt through heavy breaths, “I think I have a diagnosis.”

“Oh?” You lick the precum off your lips, grinning up at him. “And what is it?”

“You seem to have a bad case of ‘Need Dick-tivitus.”

You mock-gasp. “Is it—is it terminal?”

“Luckily, no.” He lets the white coat slide off his broad shoulders, down his sinewy arms, until it drops to the floor. “There is a cure.”

“What could it be, doctor?”

Ace gives you a wide, toothy grin—the kind that would have your clothes off in an instant if you weren’t already undressed. “Sex with a hot guy in a hat.”

“I think it must be my lucky day then, isn’t it?”

“You’re damn right.” He strokes his length and lets out a shuddering sigh, his eyes trailing over every inch of your bare body. “Now why don’t you bend over for me so I can administer your treatment?”

You eagerly stand and turn around, placing your hands on the mattress and leaning over until your ass is in the air and your legs are spread apart, inviting him to ruin you. Ace aligns his hips with yours and swipes the head of his cock through your folds, gathering your copious slick and coating his length with it. He positions the tip at your drenched entrance, teasing you with a few shallow thrusts that barely penetrate you before sliding into your warmth fully, a feeling that elicits a keen from you and a quiet gasp of his name.

His hands grip your hips tightly, burning-hot fingertips pressing into your soft skin, pulling you against him with each thrust, using your soft, wet warmth to stroke himself. He fucks you with a deep-seated need, his thick cock stretching you deliciously with every movement, delving deeper into you with every rhythmic push. Every sigh, every moan, every little whine and whimper that he pulls from you only make him throb harder, move his hips against you faster, fuck into you with even hotter abandon as he begins to reach the edge of his own pleasure.

“That’s it baby,” he groans as his thrusts start to become erratic, his breathing heavy, his voice low and thick with lust. “Take your medicine for me.”

With a stutter of his hips and a long moan of your name, he spills himself inside you, filling you until it’s leaking out of you with his every last desperate thrust, warm rivulets dripping down the insides of your thighs. Ace leans forward and places his palms on either side of you, resting his weight on your back until you start to sink down into the mattress.

“So, am I cured now, doctor?” you murmur into the bed, relishing the sensation of his scorching skin on yours, feeling his heart pounding against you as he nuzzles your neck, his hat tumbling onto the bed beside you.

"Afraid not.” He kisses down your back, his lips burning against your damp skin. “I’m going to need to see you for regular treatments.”

“Mm, if you insist.” It doesn’t even matter that your words are slurred, too fucked-out by your dutiful doctor to try to bother with speaking clearly.

“I do. I think next time though, we should administer your medicine orally.” You can hear the smirk in his voice as he grinds against you, fucking his cum back into you with a few last shallow thrusts. “Doctor’s orders.”

[randomdragonfires]

If The Sun Ever Rises | Chapter 3

Chapter 3 | Live To See Another Day

SUMMARY | After narrowly escaping the Battle Above God’s Eye, Prince Aemond is now a hidden fugitive within the very kingdom he once ruled. Driven by vengeance, he plans to usurp Aegon III and avenge his family. His rage-blinded path to the throne begins with getting rid of Cregan Stark and the men who support his nephew’s rule. Having nothing to lose, he recklessly kidnaps the Northerner’s betrothed - his own niece - hoping to lure him and his men out to fight.

Soon, Aemond finds that memories of a first love are strong, and that he cannot steel his heart against the woman he has loved all his life.

WARNINGS | 18+; Smut; Canon Divergence - Aemond lives (but barely); Violence; Stockholm Syndrome; Mental and Physical Trauma; Angst; Canon Incest; Manipulation; No Happy Endings In This House YAY; Slow burn, I think.

WORD COUNT | 2.2k

Text Divider by @saradika

In the heart of the dense forest, she sprinted, her breath ragged and panicked, each footfall a desperate attempt to outrun the shadows that seemed to stretch and grasp at her heels. The air was thick with the scent of damp earth and the tang of decaying leaves. The smell filled her senses as she darted between the towering trees. Branches reached out, snagging at her dress and tearing the delicate fabric as she pushed forward, driven by a primal instinct to escape him.

She needed to run. No matter how tiring it felt, she had to run. This was her chance to survive, and survive she would. She could save Cregan and Aegon if she escaped the jungle and warned them. She didn’t know where in Westeros she’d been brought to, nor did she think clearly about how she would make passage back to the Keep. Was Cregan out looking for her? If yes, then she’d have to find him. But how?

No answers. All she knew is that she had to escape Aemond and live to tell the tale. It was this singular goal that kept her running despite the pain.

A glimmer of moonlight danced upon the surface of a small pond, its still waters reflecting the shimmering canopy above. For a fleeting moment, she paused, her breath catching in her throat as she drank in the tranquil scene before her. But the illusion of peace was shattered by the distant echo of pursuit, a reminder that Aemond would have noticed her absence from the cave by now - he was probably out on the prowl like a predator in the night, looking for her.

He’d always been a light sleeper, she knew. Ever since his eye was taken out, Aemond had had trouble resting without panic. He seemed to be at peace when they laid together after he’d had his way with her in better days, but even then, he’d always move at the slightest of sounds - always ready for someone to walk in. 

She’d risked running regardless. If she’s made it this far, then she surmised that the Gods were working in her favor. With a shiver of apprehension, she tore her gaze away from the pond and pressed on, her feet pounding against the forest floor in a frantic rhythm. Every step was a battle against exhaustion, her muscles burning with exertion as she pushed herself to her limits.

A low-hanging branch loomed before her, its twisted form a cruel obstacle in her path. With a gasp, she ducked beneath it, the rough bark scraping against her skin as she fought to maintain her momentum. But her efforts were in vain, and she stumbled, her foot catching on a root hidden beneath the undergrowth.

With a cry of pain, she tumbled forward, wet forest floor rushing up to meet her with a bone-jarring impact. Dirt and leaves clung to her skin as she lay there, dazed and disoriented, the world spinning around her in a dizzying blur.

“Mandianna! Come out, wherever you are!” The urgent call of her name sliced through the oppressive silence of the forest, sending a shiver down her spine. Aemond's voice, laced with determination and perhaps a hint of frustration, echoed through the trees, drawing ever closer with each passing moment. With a surge of fear, she forced her weary limbs into motion once more, her heart hammering in her chest as she pushed herself to run faster, harder, desperate to avoid being taken back.

A sudden rustling in the underbrush brought her to a halt, her heart pounding in her chest as she scanned the darkness for signs of movement. And then she saw it – a boar, with a pair of gleaming eyes peering out from the shadows, its gaze fixed upon her with a predatory intensity.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as they locked eyes, predator and prey poised on the brink of confrontation. With a surge of terror, she turned to flee, but it was too late. The massive boar burst forth, its wild eyes fixed upon her with a hunger that sent a shiver of fear coursing through her veins. She stumbled backward, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched the beast charge toward her with relentless determination.

Her legs burned with exertion as she pushed herself to run faster, but the boar was gaining ground with every thunderous stride. Panic surged within her as she realized that escape was futile, that she was about to die.

And then, with a sickening thud, it collided with her, its massive weight crashing into her with bone-crushing force. She cried out in pain as she was knocked to the ground, the impact driving the breath from her lungs and sending waves of agony coursing through her battered body.

The boar loomed over her, its hot breath washing over her face as it prepared to deliver the killing blow. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the inevitable, when suddenly, a flash of steel cut through the darkness.

With a roar of defiance, Aemond leaped forward, his shortsword flashing in the moonlight as he drove the blade deep into the boar's side. The beast squealed in pain, its massive form recoiling as Aemond fought to keep it at bay.

With a desperate cry, she scrambled to her feet, her hands shaking as she searched for something, anything to defend herself. And then, with a surge of determination, she snatched up a fallen branch, brandishing it like a weapon as she moved to join the fray.

Together, they fought with a fierce intensity, their blows raining down upon the boar with relentless fury. With each strike, they drove the beast back, inch by inch, until finally, with a final, guttural snarl, it collapsed to the ground, lifeless eyes staring blankly into the darkness its lifeless body twitched.

Gasping for breath, she sank to her knees, her body trembling with a mixture of fear and relief. And as she looked up at Aemond, standing before her with his bloodied blade in hand, she knew that she owed him her life, that he had risked his own save her from the jaws of death.

The high of the encounter with the boar began to ebb away, and she found herself overwhelmed. Every muscle in her body quivered w.ith the aftermath of fear, and she struggled to contain the tremors that wracked her frame. Her sobs and fear-of-death induced screams carried through the air around her as she filled the forest with her wails.

Wordlessly, Aemond approached her with a bloodied face and body, his expression unreadable as he reached out a hand to help her to her feet. She expected anger, reproach, perhaps even threats for her foolish attempt to escape, but to her surprise, there was none of that. Instead, there was only a quiet determination in his eyes - if she didn’t know better, she’d have said that he was trying to make her feel safe.

Why did he save her?

With a hesitant nod, she allowed him to lead her back through the forest, her steps faltering as she leaned heavily on his support. They went with her blood red-stained hands around him, his arm around her waist leading the way. Every rustle of leaves, every snapping twig sent a jolt of pain coursing through her, but she forced herself to press on, to trust in the silent strength of her abductor, whom she now owed her life to. His expression remained stoic, his gaze fixed firmly on the path ahead as though nothing had happened.

It was only when they finally reached the safety of their makeshift camp that she allowed herself to sink into the comfort he provided. Without a word, he set about tending to her injuries, his touch gentle and reassuring as he cleaned the cuts and bruises that marred her skin. Her body still tender from the recent ordeal, the dampness of the cave seeped into her threadbare clothes, adding to the chill that pervaded her bones. The scent of earth and moss mingled with the faint aroma of the herbs Aemond had used to dress her wounds, creating a heady concoction that filled the air around her.

Every movement sent jolts of pain shooting through her. Despite the life-threatening encounter, she could not help the tinge of red on her face when he held her cheek to treat her forehead scrape. She continued to blush as he touched her arms, her hands, her calves, and pushed her dress up by just a little to work on her thigh. It was pathetic, but the Gods played cruel games - wherever his touch went, her simple little heart seemed to follow.

He brought her here, and he took care of her. He’d treated her wounds, fed her, given her her time to heal - but why? If he was coming for every person that she loved, why was he being patient with her? Everything perplexed her, gnawing at the edges of her consciousness like a persistent itch she couldn't scratch. His lack of anger at her failed escape attempt fazed her to no end, and she waited for him to lash out at any given second. 

“What are you going to do with me?”

He smirked, and it was all she could do to keep herself from slapping it off of his face. He wordlessly looked up at her, sapphire gleaming in the streaks of sunlight seeping through the walls. 

“You want to kill my brother. You want to kill my intended. You want to take the throne. You’ve abducted me from Winterfell to draw them out… but what will you do to me, if Gods forbid, your scheming bears fruit? If you win and become King, will you make an example out of me?”

He continued to treat her injuries, seemingly not taking into consideration any of her words. It was like speaking to a wall - she could see the thoughts in his mind running rampant, with him making calculated moves as to what to tell her and what to not. It reminded her of back when he’d hold her - fingers dancing over the skin of her back as she mumbled in her sleep-addled state. His responses would always be well thought out and slow - the mysteriousness of it all had endeared her back then, but it frustrated her to have it work against her now.

When he finished, he stood and took a few steps back. His questioning gaze fell to her as she looked at him too, but no answer came. As she watched Aemond gather firewood and set up a bonfire outside the cave, the cold air around her seemed to seep deeper into her bones. Memories of the boar's attack haunted her, intensifying the pain that already gnawed at her battered body. She hugged her knees tightly, trying to steady herself against all odds.

She said nothing as silent tears streamed down her cheeks, her sobs echoing softly in the cavernous darkness. Aemond didn't look her way once as he worked, his movements precise and methodical, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil that raged within her. She watched him move about with a silent efficiency that spoke volumes of his familiarity with the surroundings - something she now knew she did not have. His tall, lean figure moved with a grace that belied the strength beneath his skin, his every action deliberate and purposeful. Despite the circumstances, she couldn't deny the allure he held. Despite her better judgment, she found herself looking at the lean muscle of his arms through his bloodied undershirt.

When the fire roared to life, casting flickering shadows across the cave walls, she felt a sense of warmth wash over her. With trembling limbs, she rose from her spot and stepped outside, taking a seat near the fire as she contemplated her situation. She looked around for Aemond, and found that he had walked into the water of the river to clean himself up. She knew that she should too, but she was too tired and scared of the possible sting of her injuries in the water to bother.

She couldn't escape him, not now, not in her weakened state, not ever. The forest was vast and unforgiving, and she was ill-equipped to navigate its treacherous depths alone. With a heavy heart, she made peace with her current situation and lowered herself sideways onto the forest floor, her gaze fixed on the dancing flames before her. As she lay there, lost in her thoughts, she felt Aemond's presence approach. She didn't meet his eyes as he crouched down beside her, his sigh heavy with emotions that she could not name. His mismatched eyes held secrets she longed to unravel, but she knew better than to trust in the illusion of safety they offered.

What will you do to me?

"I will not hurt you," he said quietly, his words hanging in the air like a fragile promise.

The weight of his declaration settled over her like a heavy blanket, comforting yet suffocating in its implications. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, her mind consumed by visions of the boar's eyes and the fear that still lingered.

In the flickering light of the fire, she fell into a tired, fitful sleep, her dreams haunted by shadows, whispers, and the faint echo of Aemond's solemn vow. As darkness swallowed her whole, she clung to the flickering light of hope that burned within her, a beacon in the midst of the storm.

I will not hurt you.

I will not hurt you.

I will not hurt you.

Next Chapter

A/N: I've been excited about writing this chapter for so long. It wrote itself REALLY, REALLY QUICK!

NO TAG LIST. Follow @randomdragonfics and turn on post notifs for fic updates!

[moonveiltarot]

<!-- sry for crappy image quality D: bummer. -->

Quote: “I will only get prettier and richer.”

★ About This Reading:

Your Next Glow Up!

Here are the sections for the reading. It’s gonna be kinda long, so buckle up and enjoy!

We will be going over:

what your haters think

what your supporters think

areas of life impacted by the glow up (self + how, house/home, relationships, love and sex, career and money)

extended version was will gonna be a patreon exclusive, but nah. freebie!

★ 𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗:

▸ This is only for my and your entertainment. Not intended to be any kind of advice. I am not a professional.

▸ 18+ Only, please. I don’t want kids in my business or readings. Shoo.

▸ Not every part of every collective reading will resonate. Please understand this! Take what resonates and leave the rest.

★ Trigger Warning: Pile 4 mentions k*nky stuff potentially! 😌

Choose an image from above for each portion of the reading and go on to your pile!

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 1. ★

★ Songs

treat me - chloe. my kink is karma - chappell roan. problem with you - sabrina claudio. summer bummer - lana del rey. west coast - lana del rey. good thing - zedd ft. kehlani.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

★ Astro Dice*: 4th house. moon. pisces. 11th house. uranus. libra.*

★ Charms: black heart lock, big black star, pliers, teeny plastic moon (blue), party hat, plastic blue star, pink flamingo, pink heart balloon, plastic flower, bunny wearing a sweater, red heart with love written across it, plastic purple star, moon with tiny black star (overlapped 2 sections)

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: plastic purple star. moon with tiny black star.

Career / Biz / Money: moon with tiny black star. big black star. black heart with lock.

Social Life / Others: pink flamingo. pliers, pale blue plastic moon.

Love Partnerships: birthday hat. plastic blue star.

Advice / Guidance: empty.

Spirit / Self: empty.

Home / Family: red love heart. plastic blue flower. heart balloon. bunny with sweater.

Health / Wellbeing: empty.

Skull Dice*: 66, 6, 33, 444, 55, 111, 11, 2, 44*

★ What Your Haters Think

manara ero oracle: The Garden at the Top of the World. The Truth Behind the Illusions.

animal oracle (wild unknown): Lizard. Snake. Frog.

Your haters, Pile 1, see that they are shut out. You see through their bullshit. They want to tell you that they find you slimy, deceptive and a liar. Don’t worry, I’m seeing that this is not the truth. You're so gorgeous that you are untouchable. It’s true, so look in the mirror and realize that you are physically very attractive.

I feel like your haters think you should cover up and hide away. Hide your body because it makes them feel jealous. Whatever your appearance is, you wear it well and with pride. This is off putting and intimidating to some people around you / who view your content (in case you post online a lot). It makes them feel intimidated — they have gone to the ends of the Earth (or they think they have) to hide what they’ve been told are flaws.

Unfortunately, their perceived flaws are just their own projections of their insecurities onto themselves. They see you being confident no matter who says what about you, no matter what they think, and it’s triggering. They see you living life expecting no less than what you deserve and it triggers them. They wrongfully believe they deserve more and better because they think they have worked harder to maintain a false image. They have a group of people feeding them this BS and they believe it.

You shattered their illusions. It triggered all their inner demons. They are angry and spiteful at your glow up. At who you are and who you do have the absolute right to be.

Your haters feel like you’re in your own world and they can’t reach you. They can’t see what you’ve been up to, as you only show a little or what you want people to see. They can’t help but to feel affected by it. It’s like you are showing only the good part of yourself and your life. They can’t get close to you, so they can’t figure out how you did it.

They want those things too.

I am getting a feeling of you being at ease, embracing all that you are and accepting life as it comes. It’s like you know life is going well for you.

Your haters can’t stand that you are creative and can bring things into existence. They aren’t creative like you. Standing next to you, you put them to shame. This causes some haters to be jealous.

I just saw 729 twice in a row and it’s a special number to me, so it might resonate with you in some way or be relevant here. I also am randomly hearing “like blisters.” So maybe that’s for someone? I am seeing the lizard on this card … if some of you have a skin condition, know that it doesn’t matter.

The beautiful wellspring of creativity and manifestation you have inside you is attractive as hell. It’s sensual, other worldly and beautiful. For the majority of readers, though, this is about creativity.

Your creativity triggers people. I am getting v heavy Neptunian energy. Like a creator of illusion, but it’s beautiful. It delights others, indeed. Your haters feel like you’re untrustworthy.

★ What Your Supporters Think

**manara ero oracle. **The Purity of Freedom. The Fire of Desire.

animal oracle (wild unknown). crow. eagle. peacock.

Interesting note: On the fire of desire is a dragon. All of your animal oracle cards are birds, aligned with the element of air. I just wanted to point out the winged creatures and how aligned with air your energy is. This may be a confirmation for you.

Your supporters love that you’re living your life to the fullest. They see you having fun and want to join in. They are inspired by your energy! They see you as someone who goes for what they want, uninhibited, and you look good doing it.

Your supporters find you very enthralling. To them, you seem to have a spiritual understanding that comes from a magical source of some kind. You also seem calm and like you just know your next move. They want to be like that too.

You are confident and most of all, to them, you are a kind person. You are a beautiful and magical being. Your supporters love this about you. Your energy can shift an entire room / area. It’s awesome! How mystical.

You’ve stepped into your power. While it kills your haters and makes them wish they could have you or be you, it makes your supporters feel immense joy. They love seeing you be in your power. It makes the world a better place, after all!

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

believe your own magic. sun. evil queen. confidence.

personality archetypes. saboteur. dilettante. liberator.

the citadel oracle. the patron reversed. the pilgrim. the miser.

There may have been a disappointing situation you experienced, but I’m seeing that you’re taking control of your life. In fact, you’re not letting opportunities pass you by. This situation could have been a breakup, but maybe for some of you it wasn’t.

You are taking control of your finances. No one will be having any hold over you in life at all anymore. You want to be free from the control of others, so their opinions be damned!

You deserve to be treated with respect and like a literal goddess — if anyone approaches you and lack the understanding of this, they will be cut off with a quickness. You are no longer allowing others to use you as a door mat. This is your villain era, but it’s actually your most powerful glow up of all.

🎮 How To Level Up:

the sacred self care oracle. soak in a bath. look to the stars. connect with crystals.

the wild unknown animal oracle. otter. bear. raccoon.

the modern witch tarot. strength. 2 of cups. justice. the high priestess. 5 of wands. the star

Pile 1, you need to make something. Create a art. It doesn’t have to even be for anyone else to see. Take your tools for whatever you used to be skilled at and start learning again. Feel the tools, get used to using them. Start creating. Even if you think others aren’t seeing your artwork or if only people who don’t “get it” are commenting on it / seeing it, keep going anyway. There is an audience for you.

There are people out there waiting to see the beautiful art you haven’t published yet. Your entire life is supposed to be your own work of art. You are supposed to create art and share it.

Physical movement is a big thing too. You need to move your body more. You can go on a little walk to the local convenience store or just around your block if you want. You could dance while doing chores or anything you like.

Just. Get. Moving. Even if it’s a lot of effort. You have inner strength that you must draw on to keep going. You’re entering your happiest period of life yet pretty soon. It will pay off in the end.

Zoom out and view things from a higher perspective. Ground yourself. Being stuck inside all the time will drive you nuts and make you overly emotional or too numb. Get outside and soak up some vitamin A or something …

Your vibe needs to mellow out. I’m sure you will in time. Anyway, this portion of your glow up is about taking control of your life. Once you’ve successfully done this, you will be at peace 90% of the time, if not more.

You will have the means and confidence to go out on your own, create and publish content and make things your own. This is a powerful glow up!

You are going to make intuitive moves and navigate competitive spaces like a pro. Even if it’s difficult at first, you will come out on top. You truly are inspiring to others! Your life is supposed to be lived like you are a muse. Your entire life should be beautifully and uniquely crafted to suit your own tastes. You are meant to embody joy and fulfillment, to walk the earth with a sense of calm and playfulness. You are meant to be elusive, not available for anyone and everyone to disturb.

Once you start to embody your archetype with confidence, you will manifest great things and experiences.

You are truly meant to inspire others. ✨ I love this pile! You’re the kind of person I want to spend my time around more often.

★ House / Home:

modern witch tarot. the empress. the high priestess. king of swords. 2 of wands. temperance.

You know exactly what you want, so don’t bend for anyone. There is no need to rush either. You might be ordering things for your space online. In one card she’s got a laptop and is sitting, the king of swords is sitting there holding the sword that shipped from amazon, the two of wands is shopping on their phone and waiting for the payment to go through, the empress is sitting in her new chair with some cute pillows she just got.

Order what you need, then patiently await it’s arrival. Your space is going to be filled with your own art in no time. It’s can even have all the merch you wanted as a kid but never got.

Alternatively, you’ll decorate your space like it’s a sacred and magical place. Your space will be filled with things you adore and that mean something to you. The more you know yourself and confidently embody that energy, the more easily you will find items to add to your home. You know what you’re here for and that’s great.

Your style will likely be feminine, as the figures on the cards are mostly in their feminine energy. You will receive things from different sources that are meant for you. You may even have a space where you display (or hide lmao) gifts from masculines or suitors.

★ Relationships:

You will be very carefully choosing who to socialize with. You will be particular about who you entertain or interact with from this point forward. This is a good thing. You’re in your feminine energy now, so you will easily attract the right people to you.

You have the pick of the litter, though. I’m not feeling a whole lot of energy for this group. You’re going to be picky and remain poised about it. <3

If it isn’t a spiritual connection, you may not seriously entertain it. Your intuition will be guiding you and you’re going to trust it. You will be intuitively choosing the right people to allow into your circle and your life. You will know when something is maybe off about a person or their intentions, even if not overtly obvious. You will handle the situation gracefully and “pluck” that person out of your social circle without causing any stir.

★ Love & Sex:

modern witch tarot: 4 of cups, 8 of swords reversed, the devil, the wheel of fortune. 6 of swords, 9 of wands, ace of cups, ace of pentacles.

You will be or currently are off the dating market. You are focusing on other things. I see you freeing yourself from a karmic situation, mindset or addiction. You are now enforcing your boundaries and, unless you are approached correctly, you won’t be engaging.

Casual hook ups look like a no-go, as you’re moving away from cycles and addiction. You may have one karmic in particular that you are moving away from. It could also be unhealthy sexual behavior or situations that aren’t giving you the love and care you deserve.

You may end up moving toward someone else who has something substantial and real to offer.

★ Career & Money:

modern witch tarot. the fool. justice. 3 of pentacles. 7 of cups. 2 of wands. 7 of wands. botd: 6 of wands.

I see many options for you in terms of streams of income. You also may be set financially and enjoying retirement or something like that. I see that you have financial freedom and acknowledgement for something. You are free to embark on a new adventure and will likely do so. This may be in regards to money or it could be something money gives you the freedom to do.

There is public recognition of some sort. You may be an influencer. You will likely get brand sponsorships or free things from them.

You are living life freely, as you desire. You continue to inspire others! 💗

★ Conclusion

You are the muse archetype. You are a goddess / god among mortals. The rest of us are lucky to be on the same planet as you. You are meant to be given things, literally handed things from God, the Universe, Suitors, Loved Ones and so on. You are in a place or will be moving into a place of receiving all you desire and being free. You are joyful and truly happy. You are entertaining to be around. You are a great person, but beware of sabotage. There are envious and jealous haters lurking.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 2. ★

★ Songs

what they say - tilden parc ft. katori. like woah - nbhd nick. twerk it like miley - brandon real ft. christopher. the most - xavy rusan.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: 6th house. aquarius. jupiter. 6th house again. taurus. uranus.*

Charms: pink carriage. bunny with pink bow. white crucifix. angel aura quartz. pliers. big white star. astronaut. saw. blue star with hollow center. pink whale. black star with hollow center. saturn. big black star.

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: big black star

Career / Biz / Money: pliers (overlapping the next house too)

Social Life / Others: pliers. bunny. white star.

Love Partnerships: astronaut (almost flew all the way off the board), saw.

Advice / Guidance: blue star. pink whale.

Spirit / Self: black star. saturn (yellow).

Home / Family: empty.

Health / Wellbeing: empty.

Skull Dice*: 666. 22. 44. 444. 1. 3. 5.*

★ What Your Haters Think

animal oracle (wild unknown). bee. shark. tarantula.

manara ero oracle. the promise of unending love. the temptation of pleasure. the roads to regret or remorse.

So, there are some vindictive b*tches hating on you.

They are like “pile 2 is going down the wrong path in life” but this is not true.

They don’t even believe that themselves, they just simply hope it’s the truth.

They want you to fail, but you cannot fail on your current path. You are determined to see it through. The only failure is giving up. I see that you are not letting this go and you are not giving up. You have belief in yourself.

Your haters think you need to be exposed. These are most likely some people who no longer have access to what you are doing in your life and they are mad about it. They have been blocked out. They think you’re really on to something and some of them are angry that they can’t ride your coattails so to speak.

I’m seeing someone pull up a notes app on their phone and it’s a list of people who did them wrong and how they did it. This is a note to some of you that you may want to make a list of reasons certain people have to stay blocked.

They think you’re hiding from them specifically and again, want to expose what you’re doing. They see that you are going after your purpose in life and they know for a fact it’s your calling. They can tell you are seeking what is meant to be yours and that you’re serious about it.

No worries, you and your goings-on are private from these people. What ever they wish they could dig up on you and expose you for, they wont find it.

Now, just from the imagery on the cards, your haters are scared. They think you’re going to sneak up on them or hide in plain site basically and then hurt them. The shark silently stalks its prey. The bee stings if you get too close. The tarantula is creepy and hairy and stares at you with 8+ eyes (probably).

They are scared of you. This could be just your aura or even your physical presence. Intimidating is an understatement.

★ What Your Supporters Think

animal oracle (wild unknown). dragon. worm. moth.

manara ero oracle. the purity of purpose. the flow of inspiration. the feelings of an awakened heart.

Like I stated above, you’re following your purpose. You’ve become aware of what you’re supposed to do and are going to do it. You are stepping into a leadership role and taking control of your life. Others will do as you say or be removed accordingly (this isn’t a bad thing).

Those who support you can see that you are doing what you believe in. Some of you are leading a cause that’s important to you.

They feel like you’re cutting out all the weirdos and anyone who tries to get you f*cked up will absolutely find out.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

believe your own magic. mirror. potion. spaceship.

the citadel. the orator. the hunter. the mascareri.

personality archetypes. the beggar. the queen. shapeshifter.

On two of the cards, there were music notes and the orator is about communication.

For those of you who resonate: I feel that music is important to you. You may be in the music industry and learning new skills, or this is a form of therapy and motivation for you.

I’m going to link a hottie playlist so you can listen.

You are hot A F. It seems like you’ve found your voice and using it to better your life. You also have a sense of purpose moving forward. You are learning how to voice healthy boundaries.

You’re making boss moves that are going to be shocking to others. You’re taking control. This makes some people around you down right terrified. You aren’t doing anything cruel or mean to them, you’re just laying down the law. This could be the first time you’ve taken on a role of authority for some of you.

Either way, I’m seeing an absolute bad b*tch who is very much crafting life to be the way they want it to be.

You’re becoming more honest with others, shedding the mask that you created to keep others placated. Screw that! You’re finally leveling up in the way you communicate. You’re making your wants and needs known and you are not wavering on them.

Play the music you like as loud as you want it (just don’t burst out your ear drums).

🎮 How To Level Up:

sacred self care. dance. pleasure. connect with earth.

Since you’re finally feeling yourself and you know who you are and know your purpose, put on that playlist and move your body! You can close the curtains and lock your door if you’re self-conscious.

Honestly, get in tune with your body. Learn how each muscle feels when you move it, learn what sensations make you feel amazing. Learn what you find pleasurable. You need to please yourself before anyone else and I think you realize this.

In fact, I feel that you could be pursuing a dancing career if not a music career. For those of you who resonate with this, an artist called Grimes (you may have heard her music!) said before that she wanted to dance while making one of her albums. She wanted to make music that people could dance to! This could be your goal or Spirit is encouraging you to try this.

In fact, get out in nature too. Don’t just lock yourself up for hours and hours or days on end. Go outside and give yourself short, but much needed breaks. This is not to say that you should interrupt the flow of your work. If you’re in the flow state, go along with that.

It’s important to get sunshine though, as the sun feels really good on your skin. You probably don’t want to hear this, but never be afraid to touch grass. It’s a great way to ground yourself.

Spirit says to really, really give yourself what you feel you deserve. Your desires are your desires. The fact that you want those things means that they are yours. You can desire it, you can have it.

You deserve to have things that make you happy.

★ House / Home:

modern witch tarot. the devil. six of swords. knight of cups. ace of wands. two of cups. 5 of swords. 10 of cups.

Ooooh. I see. Now I see why the messages were confusing me a bit before.

Your home will be your new pleasure chamber. Kinky things will be going on here. I see that there may someone who will disagree, but you will be able to run them off in no time. This is your space and it’s for fun, sex and pleasure.

There will be plenty of equal give and take. I’m seeing that the person on the 6 of swords has their back turned on the knight of cups and is heading toward the devil card. The imagery is giving: the knight is chasing a woman with a love offer, little does he know that in chasing her back to her home, he’s being led carefully into her lair.

She will use him for her own pleasure, there will be orgasms as well as mind games. Grappling for power and control, confusion about who is really in charge here, wondering if one if truly trapped or can they leave at any time? Plenty of power play.

And you, pile 2, have the power. You may be taking on a more dominant role here, dominatrix vibes kinda.

The 2 of Cups initially was reversed, but I felt confused like “Should it be upright? Should it be reversed??”

That was because it was out directly before the 5 of Swords. This is part of the confusion your targets will feel when in your grasp. Are they getting somewhere with you? Are they not? I’m taking the ace of wands as a phallic symbol here. When you reject these Knights and their fake generous love offer, it turns them on. They love being rejected. They would never tell you this, though.

On another note, if you aren’t into this sort of thing, it’s probably saying your home is your sanctuary away from karmic relationships.

But, while this is true for all readers, I am getting 100% sex dungeon vibes.

There could be knife play as well. The imagery of chains, fire, the devil, swords, more than one person on most of the cards … it’s giving “I’m taking you into my dungeon, you will leave after we both orgasm a billion times, you will keep it quiet and you will be confused about our relationship … if we even have one.”

So yeah. You could be inviting or luring targets into your bed chambers to have fun and pleasure. In fact, you seem to be pursuing this sexual exploration relentlessly. You are getting in touch with your receptive energies, as well as your giving energies.

Regardless, this is about your sexual expression and pleasure. You are being selfish and there is no shame in this what so ever.

★ Relationships:

Not much about familial or friendly relationships for this pile. Probably just not a huge area of focus for this reading, like the empty portions of the charm board. It’s just not a lotta energy going into this.

You’re being ultra-careful and ruthless about who you socialize with, work with and so on. The same for job opportunities.

★ Love & Sex:

manara ero tarot. 6 of pentacles. king of wands. 3 of wands. 6 of wands. queen of swords. death.

You are very carefully selecting who to allow in your personal space and who not to allow. You will cut people off with a quickness if they act a fool or if you’re done with them (iykyk).

I see you being kind of mean to your pursuers, pile 2. Lol!!

I see that you are going to demand equal give and take or you will breadcrumb and lead them on, let them buy you things and then cut them off if they act a fool.

You have men wanting to follow you around, magnetized by you, aggressively pursuing you and trying to act right. Desperate to get into your panties. They want you and you know how to drive them mad with lust.

It’s like people gambling at a casino: they keep getting closer and closer to winning, so they keep giving their money and, eventually they end up feeling stupid and backing out or they give until their well runs dry.

This is what you are doing to your suitors, Pile 2. And this is a beautiful way to set the bar for the other women in your family, for generations to come. Other than that, it’s how to get what you want.

You’re shamelessly using the assets you’ve always had, but maybe were hidden. You are letting yourself be seen. There are plenty of offers and you’re going to take all you can from them. This is your gift from the universe: getting sexy and confident has given you these opportunities. You have the okay from the universe to be as greedy and picky as you want.

★ Career & Money:

I was thinking music or dancing of some sort, but given the turn that this reading took in the house & home section, I’m thinking about pole dancing. This could be something you do, or maybe you’re a stripper. Which is fine. <33

My eyes are drawn to the word “Gucci” on this wall art I bought a while back. You are very very carefully selecting material possessions, opportunities, partnerships for business or your job and you will not back down. Once something proves it won’t be useful to you, you’re cutting it out.

I don’t think you will have to work very hard to get money.

★ Conclusion

Sexuality and sensuality are important aspects of this next glow up. You could be into sw or porn or smth? I’m not sure lol. Anyway, get in touch with your sensual side and be careful out there. This glow up makes me feel like you’re gonna be manifesting quickly and the happier / more blissful you are, the faster your manifestations will come in.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 3. ★

★ Songs

eat me - demi lovato. heathens - twenty one pilots. me, myself, my money - iggy azalea. burgundy - atlas in motion. bluntly - ktlyn. fahrenheit - azee.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: taurus. 9th house. south node. capricorn. 10th house. moon.*

Charms: red ring. big white star. pink star of david. little daisy. black star of david. large daisy.

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: big white star.

Career / Biz / Money: red ring.

Social Life / Others: empty.

Love Partnerships: empty.

Advice / Guidance: small daisy. pink star of david.

Spirit / Self: large daisy.

Home / Family: black star of david.

Health / Wellbeing: empty.

Skull Dice*: 11. 222. 6. 33. 333.*

★ What Your Haters Think

manara ero oracle. sweet sobriety in feelings. loving and trusting yourself. instinctual bliss.

animal oracle (wild unknown). crow. frog.

Oh, to be a fly on Pile 3’s wall. Your haters see you as vulnerable in this new spotlight. They see you as someone who sits on their ass and enjoys themself while the rest of the world (themself included) toils away miserably.

They feel that you insert yourself into their spaces and you so easily pull the attention away from them. They think you are enjoying the attention they should receive. They think you are overbearing with your presence and others must look your way.

Some of them hate that they can’t look away from you, glowing in your luxurious light, emanating this beautiful light from your very soul.

They think you are self-absorbed and a narcissist and they can’t wait until someone finds out who you REALLY are. According to them.

They hate seeing you living blissfully, in childlike wonder. It triggers their shadow side and they see how vulnerable you are.

They may be plotting to exploit you.

OR they are just thinking of how they can teach you to stand up for yourself.

They feel like you have divine gifts. They are jealous of your connection to your intuition.

★ What Your Supporters Think

manara ero oracle. purity of purpose. reaching outward. the pain hidden by luxury.

animal oracle (wild unknown). eagle. whale. snake.

Your supporters see you putting yourself out there and they want you to do so with pride. they want to see you confidently sharing your life and your pursuits. They wouldn’t change you for the world and want you to keep on keeping on.

They see you as someone who is giving and kind, someone who wants to help others and will get off your ass to do so instead of sending only thoughts and prayers (which do help, by the way, just not in a strictly practical sense).

It helps that you are beautiful on the inside along with your physical appearance. You’re beautiful inside and out.

You are divinely led and you have a strong intuition. Your psychic abilities are stronger now than ever.

They have seen you say or do something that only someone in a specific position or of a certain ranking would know. They know you must be psychic. You know things and it kind of scares them. It also excites them.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

believe your own magic. protest. wings. homeward.

the citadel. the brawler. the poet. the scholar.

You will be learning about yourself and what you like. You will be taking yourself out on dates and you will start where you are. You are ending these karmic cycles (bad habits / behavioral patterns) that keep you stuck. You are upgrading yourself and growing as a person. You will step out of your comfort zone.

I see that you’ve “bossed up” and aren’t afraid to put people in their place. While you are willing to be vulnerable and open up to someone, you’ll be cutting them off with a quickness. You will be able to emotionally detach if need be.

Something you felt was confining you will no longer be able to do so. You are taking control of the narrative and writing the story your way.

You are going to be watching, taking notes and taking names. You will make moves accordingly. Ruthlessly. If you have a bad reputation now, you’re owning it. If you don’t yet, you’re going to have one. Probably on purpose.

There is nothing stopping you from reaching your goals. I keep seeing a person who is fit making a smoothie in the morning and working out. Your mind is disciplined.

I even see you working out in your office. It has a huge window overlooking the city. It’s like you will do what needs to be done (in regards to fitness or whatever your goals are right now). You’re like a person possessed. You know what you want and nobody and nothing will get in your way.

You may be doing this to empower yourself and build a stronger body to make sure no one will ever mistake you for an easy target again. You are going to “toughen up” mentally and physically.

♥ How To Level Up:

You don’t need to be told. You’re driven and practical. You’re going to be making all the boss moves. You’re going to be a millionaire in your lifetime.

Cutting certain people off is part of the game. You have the ability to shake foundations and simultaneously achieve your goals.

If I could give you advice it would be to take that paid webinar (not the scammy ones, the ones that are legit, and I feel you’ve looked at a few already). Follow those classes, but really do take them seriously and put in the hours to get things up and running. You will, though. I’m seeing that anything you pay for right now in regards to studies (of any sort) you are taking seriously. You may even be a college student.

★ House / Home:

You will likely keep things clean, clear and organized. Minimalist lifestyle. This makes things easier for you to reach your goals, as the clutter and bullshit won’t be distracting you anymore. I see someone waking up early or it’s evening time. It’s dark out, it’s dark in this room. I can see someone doing a workout. There’s a punching bag. There is not a lot of distracting stuff around. It’s so clean and sort of “sleek” if you could call it that.

You have no room for anything that isn’t directly on the path to your goals being achieved. Even your fridge is stocked with only what you need and it’s going to suit your daily caloric intake perfectly. Probably even your macros.

I’m seeing that you know where everything is and it makes your life efficient. You might not spend a lot of time here, but it’s like you don’t have excessive decor or anything. It would only be more to clean and who tf has time for that? Maybe when you can afford a maid …. until then, you’re sticking to your schedule, routine and busy life. You don’t have time for anything else.

Because you want it this way.

It will still be your place of comfort. The greatest comfort will be in knowing that you are reaching your goals. You will push through every obstacle in your way.

★ Relationships:

modern witch tarot. eight of cups. queen of cups. knight of pentacles.

You’ll be very picky, careful and smart about your relationships. You won’t let others in unless they are deserving of what you offer. Nurturance, guidance and an abundance of intuition.

These are invaluable gifts. If anyone isn’t letting you in or is bringing less than you deserve, you’re taking your cups and walking away. You’ll leave anything on the table if it isn’t what you need at any point.

You lose who you lose. Your new boundaries are non-negotiable. It doesn’t feel easy to you to let these people go.

You are also choosing to put more focus on your business, career or financial goals.

★ Love & Sex:

modern witch tarot. king of wands. knight of wands. the devil. 6 of cups. 3 of cups. 8 of swords rv.

You are going to be in a fwb situation and it will be liberating from conventional restraints. I’m seeing that you are the player and you may be playing those who would otherwise play you,

You will be revisiting your past. You are befriending your past demons. Integrating them. They will help you along your journey. Your breaking free from being held down by them. In some way, your shadow side is going to lift you up.

Your love is your partner in everything. You are manifesting this person into your life. A Divine Counterpart! This is your king, your masculine, your other half. No pressure. You are willing to take it slow with them so you can both feel ready. The love is already there, now you’re going to grow together, even if you’re apart. You belong together. Power couple vibes.

If no one fits the bill, you’re not taking them seriously and you’re not using them.

★ Career & Money:

Your money has immense spiritual protection along with your assets. Whatever you do to make income is a strong habit or pattern — you will not be easily accessed. You may go through some growth-challenges at this time with your finances and you will be encouraged by spirit, perhaps even forced, to go through a tough time to break routines and habits that no longer serve your financial goals.

Spirit will not put you through financial turmoil, so no worries. You are getting rid of what no longer serves you. You will learn from karmic people and patterns in regards to finances, all the while, Spirit will catch you if you fall. You’re ready to fight through it all and you will succeed. You know just what to do in these situations. You will face business or career challenges that will help you grow. You’re going to just barrel through it.

You may go through brief phases of “fuck this” in regards to your finances, but your drive and “keeping the vision” is going to put you right back on the track to manifesting your millions. I’m not kidding when I say that, either. There are tons of millionaires in the world, we just don’t hear about all of them. You definitely will be, as long as you stay on your destined path, that is.

You are breaking a karmic cycle or generational pattern that has plagued your family for centuries. It’s time to fix that. You know it’s true. You have the metal to get through this, don’t worry.

★ Conclusion

This is your Boss Up era. You’re growing as a person in all aspects, but you are mostly taking your finances more seriously. You are taking up your mantle as the black sheep, the scapegoat, the underdog. The loser. The forgotten. The unwanted.

And you’re going to be so high above those who did you wrong that they will cry when they remember your face. You will haunt their dreams. You will seep into their every waking moment. They will despair, they will rejoice, they will go on existing where they are. You will be out of touch for them, but right there when they close their eyes.

When they were cruel to you, they went on to justify it. Now you have their ticket and you don’t even care about it. They still live in terror, in fear, of what you know about them. The things you’ve seen and heard them do or say. They are terrified you will tell — you might as well be god himself.

Some of them may try to silence you. Especially the ones with political pull. They will pull those strings and you will be ready this time.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 4. ★

★ Songs

oh no - marina. murda. bizness - iggy azalea. where i go - nxworries. giveon - make you mine.

death - melanie martinez. this hell - rina sawayama. never be me - snow tha product.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: virgo. 10th house. pluto. south node. 12th house. taurus.*

Charms: astronaut. black flower w/ rhinestone in the middle. white half-heart. crescent moon with black star. yellow crescent moon and star. dagger.

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: astronaut.

Career / Biz / Money: black flower w/ rhinestone in the middle. white half-heart.

Social Life / Others: crescent moon with black star. yellow crescent moon and star. dagger.

Love Partnerships: empty.

Advice / Guidance: empty.

Spirit / Self: empty.

Home / Family: empty.

Health / Wellbeing: empty.

Skull Dice*: 333. 222. 11. 5. 3333.*

★ What Your Haters Think

manara erotic oracle. sharing tales of love and romance. the naked self. protecting your feelings.

You are closed off from them. They feel like you’re flaunting the fact that you were 10 steps ahead and simply let them “hang themselves” so to speak. You were able to be ahead of the games they tried to play and they didn’t realize you would be able to do that.

You were underestimated and they showed their whole ass, meanwhile you just peeped the games they were playing and kept it pushing. These people can’t stand being outsmarted. They are dumbfounded and embarrassed by their own behaviors and your ability to make them show their hands by staying out of the drama.

These are people who lied on you and slandered you, they keep digging the whole. People are getting exhausted hearing your name in their mouth. They are clinging to the idea that you were definitely in the wrong and they could do no wrong, ever.

This makes me think of those women who are always pushing Christianity on others, meanwhile being the biggest hypocrite you’ve ever met. They run their mouths, sabotage others at any opportunity and think their shit doesn’t stink. They were petty with the wrong one and God said “let them catch thy holy hands” and they did. Meaning, they received and will continue to receive bad karma until they straighten the fuck up and learn the lesson.

They know what they did to you was fucking wrong. You know it too, which is why you “let go and let God” so to speak. You may actually be religious in some way. I’m not slandering you or your religion. I’m just using this example.

I was raised Christian, but ended up going my own way. I think there are some who chose this pile whose family are your enemies. Because you won’t conform anymore. At this point you’re just like “fuck it, they can say what they want to.” You’re on your own spiritual path and they may not like it. You’re tired of putting your gifts on the back-burner, staying shut up and letting others shine instead of anyone ever standing up for you.

You were expected to take the back seat and, because you’re taking your own place in the spotlight to FINALLY fucking give yourself what you deserve, are now being shunned. Relatives, friend groups, colleagues … fake ass people who don’t even truly adhere to what the status quo is. These are people who think they’re better because they let someone else think for them. You think for yourself and you are happier without them.

They are seething and will continue to seethe. You aren’t going back to them. They couldn’t pay you to go back to that Hell Hole they mistakenly call home.

★ What Your Supporters Think

manara erotic oracle. loving and trusting yourself. the fire of desire.

These people are in your corner. They see you leveling up and are glad you are no longer hiding yourself. They are incredibly happy for you. They are few and far between right now.

You’re walking a lonely path, but your guides and anonymous onlookers are supporting you. I’m supporting you too from here. You are protected and loved by your guides. You have great spiritual protection for choosing your own path.

They see you pursuing your passions and are in 100% full support.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

You are prioritizing your health and, most of all, your look. You may be trying to lose or gain weight or get body modifications to fit a certain standard — and it’s not a bad thing. This is what you want to do and, if you are careful about it and truly well-researched on the subject, go for it. Use your best judgement, though.

You will be reaching this goal of yours and you will be elated when you finally have your signature look. You may have a capsule wardrobe which is casual and professional, with a few select pieces for special events, sexy time and so on. I see you wearing incredibly sexy lingerie under your normal outfit. Others might look at you and think “model, but off-duty” when really you’re wearing a matching set with straps or clasps of some sort.

Your life up to now might have kicked the absolute shit out of you, but you are pulling yourself out of the mud. You are refusing to lay down and die, even if others have looked at you like that before. You are taking all the darkness and transmuting it into power.

I always thought that term was too vague for collective readings. “Transmuting” in this sense means using the pain and fuel to reach your goals, but it’s spiteful. You’re taking your power back. You are using your physique, intuition, sad backstory, all of it completely to your advantage. You know what makes men weak and you are going to become that.

I’m getting “Female Manipulator” and I would never shame you for this. Use the patriarchy to your advantage and get what you want out of this life. Out of this fucked and broken system that has abused you and enabled the abuse over time. You’re using it to your advantage and not giving a damn who gets hurt in the process. It is your turn to get what you want out of life.

🎮 How To Level Up:

You already know what to do. Fit the bare minimum standards of conventionally attractive and use it to your advantage. Your appearance is tactical.

I would suggest learning to emotionally detach from others. Glamorize your pain, the past, no matter how gritty or dirty it was. Like how Lana Del Rey made her trauma so beautiful with her art. There are really painful things in life that happen to us all. Sometimes, there is no amount of therapy that can help us.

Using the system and destroying it from the inside is the most beneficial thing to us. Instead of showing the world who you really are, your truest self, cloak her. Hide her and protect her. You know what to do. Get out on your own for a little while. Travel. Get out of your home town. Befriend a local truck driver (don’t get SA’d, dammit!! please use your brain and better judgement when reading these things). Get the fuck out of town.

You are meant to walk this kind of path. You are meant to see the darkest parts of the world and destroy those structures. There is a lot of cruelty, abuse and corruption in the world. You are a protector to those who need it. The defenseless.

★ House / Home:

One place to call home? Not likely for you. Your home is you. You are always with you. You need to experience more of the world, even if it seems scary. You can leave in the night and sneak away at any time. I see you staying in apartments or hotels, maybe even a camping van / rv or something like that.

You will be getting what you “want” out of others though. I see you using wealthy suitors for their penthouse apartments or 5 star motel rooms. You’re going to be traveling a lot, so “home” will be far away for awhile. It’s okay to miss it.

With your no strings attached style, you are wise to have something to go back to.

★ Relationships:

You may have been in a karmic relationship before, but you’ve cut them off. Now you’re going to use people as pawns until you truly find the one. The one person who is home to you, no matter where you are. Until you find them, you’re living a wild and free lifestyle.

You will have no inhibitions in regards to using people. If you can get what you want out of a social circle or situation, you will. You are going to have all the experiences you held yourself back from and other people will be a part of that process. Your intuitive nature allows you to pick up on people with herd mentality.

You have lived, loved and lost by now. You are going to get everything you wanted in life. If no one will hand it to you, you’re f**king taking it.

★ Love & Sex:

Your sex life is going to be used to your advantage. You may do sex work on occasion, but this only to get you to where you want to go. In fact, it may be part of your career. I’m getting Cardi B vibes.

Anything they like until you get them inebriated. Like not going all the way, then they’re drunk or too high to know what’s going on. You pretend to be and you’re actually sober. Then everything you like, bb. Whatever is in their wallets is yours for the taking. You get gone ASAP.

When you finally find the one person you want to build a home with, you’re going to have a very passionate dynamic. Power play. They will be like you. Doing what it takes to survive and live the life they want. You will be very much alike in this way and they may become your future spouse. They will be the one person you have a soft spot for. The one person you want to protect and who will want to protect you. They’re your dream come true. It’s mutual. You are good together.

You may be entering into a financial agreement (legal or not) for someone you love or because you know someone you love will respect you for it. It could also be because they burned you and you wanna get them back. You don’t hate them, if this is the case, you just want to show them what they are missing before you let them go.

And you are willing to let them go, but not until you set their wings on fire.

You aren’t in love with your rival / enemies in this field of work are you?

Whoever has their eye on you has some “punishment” they want to dole out and you’re their target. They couldn’t be more aroused by your badassery. Honestly, no one has ever made them as flustered as you have. They keep a poker face and most people wouldn’t notice, but they want you. You may have had intense eye contact with this person.

Your kinks are aligned with this person. I see one of you provoking the other on purpose. Sexual tension is high. One or both of you like it rough — maybe beyond rough. PSA: be safe, obtain clear consent, use a safe word, use common sense.

Very punishing energy though. Like a Dom and a sub dynamic. There is trust and affection there.

It could also be a power struggle type of dynamic that you both like, but don’t overtly say it. For the kinkier ones who chose this pile, I see that primal play comes naturally to you both. They will pursue you and take you, you will like it and take it. If you aren’t into this, obviously this portion isn’t into you.

★ Career & Money:

Your job isn’t stable, but not in a bad way — you are perfectly independent. I see you traveling the world and experiencing things you want, but your jobs vary from place to place. You could end up driving an uber or lyft in one place and sell or pawn jewelry in another. That sounded bad? I didn’t mean it to.

Basically, your job could be getting transferred from one place to another. Your job, for some of you, may not be 100% legal, but it pays the bills and you love it. I don’t judge. Do you, babe.

You will be making bank regardless, but you won’t stay in one place. Your job will require you to travel and you will be in the air a lot.

Side note: You will probably also take those paid helicopter rides once in a while and post it on socials. If you’re not on socials, you’re definitely doing it for the experience.

★ Conclusion

Are you … an assassin? Or a real life femme fatale / dom fatale in some way? I’m getting “revenge is a dish best served by me.” Hmm. Just be careful. Obviously, we don’t go around un-aliving people. I still get gangster vibes. You may be drawn to characters like this. The people you link up with might be like this.

You have the grit and metal to get through anything in life now. You are longing for more and finding your purpose.

You seem like a thrill seeker, or this is the phase of your life you’re entering. Bikes, helicopter rides, jets, travel. All the things. Sky diving for some of you? Fun!

Your mentality is like “we all are going to die, so I might as well do it having fun” when doing your activities. Zip-lining in Quebec? Hell yeah. I can see you looking like you’re chill and stoic af, which is giving really fucking cool vibes. Like you could meet God and not be impressed. Anyway, people are gonna find you sexy and cool basically, because you are.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 5. ★

★ Songs

F Myself - Queen Herby. Miracle - Bayside. Lindsxy Mesenburg - Divine. “Supervillain” - Jakobs Castle. Savage - Megan Thee Stallion.

✨ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: 3rd House, Aquarius, Neptune, 1st House, Moon, Scorpio. Mercury.*

Charms: White diamond. Pink Rose. Green Star. Cherry Blossom Flower. Butcher’s knife with bl**d splotches. Pale Blue Starfish. Dark Blue Planet with Ring (saturn dupe).

On The Charm Board: i forgot to fill it in for this group…

Skull Dice*: 22, 66, 1, 5, 4.*

★ What Your Haters Think

modern witch tarot. king of wands. eight of wands. seven of wands. 4 of cups.

For some of you, you rejected or have to repeatedly reject / turn away a king of wands. It could be several men with this energy. Passionate suitors are wanting you and you have people being so jealous. They think you should be grateful, but they see you being unimpressed and turning away these sexy suitors.

You have to defend yourself against all of the unimpressive offers, but your haters only see someone who “looks good” or “makes money” and don’t consider whether you’d be happy or loved properly. They don’t see that you are able to see the truth of these potential mates and are so revolted by them. Even if they check every conventional box it means nothing if they aren’t like you — or liked by you in a particular way. They have to be outside the box and as unique as you are, or they have to worship the goddess your are.

If they aren’t grateful for you and to you, you won’t entertain them at all.

This goes for all suitors.

★ What Your Supporters Think

modern witch tarot. two of swords. queen of swords. the devil. the hanged one. king of pentacles. three of pentacles.

Some of your supporters want to work with you. They see you working with others to get what you want. Your supporters see that you are cutting people off in a cold way, but only if you have to. Once you detect the fuckery, you cut them right off. Anyone suffering with attachments or addictions would only bring you down. You are able to see when someone is of two minds and can’t make up their mind about you. You are shutting those people out.

For some of this group, you had a person who was treating you v badly. You kept being strung along. Your supporters wanted you to stand up for yourself. You might come off as bitchy to this person, but this is the kind of cut-off they deserve.

They are cheering for you as you lay this dusty to rest (metaphorically). They know you deserve so much better.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

I’m seeing right away that you’re highly psychic. You are probably very much connected to your intuition. I feel that you used to play it small and sacrifice too much of yourself to others. You weren’t putting your own oxygen mask on first, were you? (I hope you get the reference.) Now, you’re moving into your “celebrating my awesome-self” era. You are more confident in your energy and psychic abilities.

I can see you staring at a phone that’s on vibrate from the tub across the room. Don’t let anyone disturb your peace. You are making damn sure that you get the care and treatment you need.

You are so confident in yourself — you know you’re special! You enter a room and are like “That’s right, I am a unicorn.” And you just glow and look amazing and allow others to stare in wonder.

You are in your princess treatment phase of life and you love it. It suits you. You look as amazing as you feel on the inside.

You are confident to be seen and be spiritual, because you know your gifts are no fluke. You know you are blessed with a connection to the infinite wisdom of our universe, whatever that source may be called.

You are who you are, shamelessly and anyone who doesn’t like it can kick rocks.

You have gained so much confidence in yourself and you’re putting it into practice. You realize that you, unique as you are, belong on the same level as others you looked up to or admired. Even people who may have put you down in some ways.

You see now that you have your place among a certain group, even if you have a different aesthetic. “Taking your place among the greats…” crossed my mind, but I’m not sure what that means to each of the people who will hear this.

You have decided to bring all the personality and all of the colors to your life. You have fully embraced who you are and you’re expressing that on that outside. You’re a leader and a guide to others to embrace their authentic self and do what makes them happy as well.

★ How To Level Up:

I feel that you are naturally inclined in this direction, but you may be playing it too small.

Your psychic abilities and intuition make a much larger impact than you are giving yourself credit for. Give yourself the roses. Get cute, go to the local florist or market, get yourself the flowers.

Stop doing too damn much just because others don’t feel like it. You don’t have to do all the dirty work anymore. You’re not everyone’s maid — unless that is your profession, in which case, you must still make time for romanticizing your own life. Take care of you and prioritize yourself. Be SELFISH.

Set a strong boundary for when you actually do your spiritual practice. You are blessed with gifts that the world around you needs. In fact, be ruthless with your boundaries. Your energy is worth protecting.

You may be too go with the flow or too rigid. Either way, find a balance between what you can be flexible about and what you aren’t willing to be flexible about. You do not ever have to put yourself on the back burner to please another person. Make a task list or schedule that has set times for self care and spirituality. You can choose which activities to do here, but definitely set hard boundaries that protect this energy.

You need to really notice within yourself that you are the sht.* Truly! You’re a literal mythical creature. Not everyone can do the things you do. You don’t need to put your gifts on the back burner or put off working on your spiritual practice and abilities. You’ve done the work no one else was willing to do, you might have even been put in roles where you were doing the dirtiest work and no one was helping you. You were just assigned the role and you accepted it, maybe even took pride in it.

Somehow, something made you realize your true worth. You are your own person and you deserve all the beauty and glamour you want in life. You will get it.

You are protected, so you don’t have to hide anything about your gifts. You are unique, even if others avoid you because of some bullshit judgement against you. Even if they don’t recognize how great you truly are, you know how amazing you are. Despite their judgements against you, you’re owning your abilities and gifts now.

Others have taken you for granted, possibly while not supporting you. Those people will not matter on your journey. They are merely tools for you to use to teach and guide others along the way.

By embracing the truth of who you are, you heal the world a little at a time. 💗

★ House / Home:

Sacred Spaces is what I’m getting. Feng Shui may or may not be a part of making your home as mystical, magical and divine as you are. I’m seeing your divination tools in one area, a clean desk area for studies or work and I’m seeing peachy tones. Gold, peach, light brown wood and white are colors you may be considering or drawn to lately.

Salt lamp? Singing bowls? I feel that you’re investing in your spiritual practice to get healing items. Are you going to be teaching reiki or crystal healing?

When you or others enter this space, you will breathe a sigh of relief. ☺️

This could be a space that is healing to your inner child. If you like plushies or figurines, they will find their way into your home.

You will go here to relax and chill out. It’s your sacred, bright happy little space. And no one bad may enter. No bad intentions whatsoever. <3 You might watch cartoons here and snuggle up in blankets or a cozy chair. You will probably sketch or draw or read books in this space. I see you having your beverage of choice in your hand in a really cute mug. You will probably have one if not fifty special little mugs that make you happy.

This magical sacred space will uplift your spirits and cleanse you of the bs. I see you investing in the prettiest and best smelling cleaning supplies to keep the vibes good here. I see high-end candles too. Aroma therapy is a thing you will be doing, whether intentionally or not.

I just saw someone doing a cord-cutting ritual as well, so you might have a little corner where you do that for people.

★ Relationships:

modern witch tarot. the tower. ace of swords. 3 of pentacles. the magician. 5 of swords.

You will be hurting some feelings and not feeling any type of way about it. Anyone who manipulated or betrayed you in the past or is planning to do it in the future will be cut out, like the rest.

I see you gaining knowledge that someone did betray you and you will be learning this information if you haven’t already. This information causes a foundational shift, which will lead you to better relationships in the future. You will see the manipulation against you, finally, and how everyone had a hand in keeping you in a certain belief system.

If this already happened, allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay. This was a painful situation.

��� Love & Sex:

modern witch tarot. king of pentacles. nine of wands. the three of swords. the hierophant. the wheel of fortune.

Something fated or karmic is going on here. You are healing from something that hurt you and are in your king of pentacles energy. You’re still generous, but less so. You are guarding your finances, assets, heart and so on. You will be more protective moving forward. You may be divorcing or it’s finalized.

You’re putting up new boundaries after the most recent relationship betrayal. You are going to meet your counterpart in time, but for now, vet carefully and do not rush into any relationship. You are practically a mythical, magical creature amongst human beings and we don’t deserve you. You are truly so amazing.

You may be kicking someone to the curb as well, causing them heart break and a sending them into another karmic cycle. Ouch for them, but if they were taking advantage of group 5, then forget that mothafucker.

The people you reject are descending into their childhood wounds. Ouch. That’s the worst thing you could ever do to someone… being a catalyst to their healing. Don’t shy away from this lol.

★ Career & Money:

modern witch tarot. justice. judgement. ace of pentacles. the empress. the lovers.

If some legal thing is going on here, you’re winning. It’s going to be a fair and just outcome, winning you a nice little pay out. You’re gonna be living comfy.

If you need to still file for divorce (and were already planning to), spirit is encouraging you to ask for alimony. That or the financials will grant you something to be grateful for. Especially if you’re getting out of a toxic and abusive marriage.

Otherwise, any legal case you have will go in your favor.

Your finances will be improving due to someone passing judgement and making things fair for you in regards to career. Hell, your company or boss could promote you or something.

With the lovers, you could be meeting someone who will worship you and is going to financially provide for you.

★ Conclusion

This is a mystical and powerful group. You’re incredibly magical and strong. I’m proud of you for standing in your power and letting others react to the way you glow. You really do shine and your energy is missed and craved by those around you. Your energy

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 6. ★

★ Songs

up - cardi b. cult leader - king mala. everybody knows - sigrid.

friends - v. nut quick - glorilla. gangsta - kehlani.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: saturn. capricorn. 9th house. leo. moon. 3rd house.*

Charms: birthday hat. shell w/ pearl. heart w moon and stars. angel aura quartz. chunky birb. white star. pink rabbit.

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: heart with moon and stars.

Career / Biz / Money: pink rabbit.

Social Life / Others: empty.

Love / Partnerships: shell w/ pearl. birthday hat. white star.

Advice / Guidance: chunky birb.

Spirit / Self: empty.

Home / Family: empty.

Health / Wellbeing: angel aura quartz.

Skull Dice*: 33. 22. 66. 333. 222. 1.*

★ What Your Haters Think

manara ero oracle: loving and trusting yourself. creative intimacy. the naked self.

Instead of obsessing about your flaws, you are focused on your best traits. You are putting them on full display, maybe even bragging. Your haters see you bragging about these amazing qualities you have. They feel like other people are obsessing over your amazing qualities too.

They feel like you know how amazing you are, you’re bragging about it to others and others agree, then others are showing you off and bragging about it too.

This may even be an accomplishment or maybe you got a new tattoo or piercing? Either way, you are being talked about in a good light and your haters are seething.

You’re not putting your insecurities at the forefront and letting that drive you. You’re focused on a talent or skill or trait you have and running with it. This is a good thing, but it fuels your enemies’ jealousy and self-hatred.

★ What Your Supporters Think

manara ero oracle. belief in your beauty. confidence in the power of healing.

Your supporters have seen a change in you. You find yourself beautiful and anyone who disagrees will get kicked out of your entire life. They love that you’re healing and learning to love you. Anyone who doesn’t see it can get fucked.

They feel like they don’t know this new you, but they want to. Some of them may have been watching you from afar, maybe secret admirers. You may not have been their typical type or you weren’t someone they could talk to without getting ostracized.

They may have felt there was a “taboo” element to you, but regardless of others opinion’s, they were your number one fan. They kept it hush hush though.

If they come back in, know that they got humbled. If they didn’t like you before, they like you now. Something happened and they are in your corner. Nothing could change that now. They stand up for you. They want you in their life, they want you to be in their life. 💗

This person or these people stand up for you now. They have “protector” energy. They see that you came out of this cycle as a whole new person and are fucking happy. They could cry.

Can you forgive their past? Maybe they’re a new person too. Be cautious, of course. They want the best for you in life, even if they can’t be a part of it personally. I want to say they love you, but maybe weren’t able to express it in a healthy way.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

manara ero oracle: the freedom to be yourself. the muse living in my dreams.

modern witch tarot: three of wands. the magician. the moon. the page of wands. queen of wands. the sun.

the citadel oracle: the witch. the runaway. the painter.

I am channeling anger in this reading. I feel like you all are enraged or very angry about some situation.

You are the baddie of the piles. Like, you’re truly becoming a baddie or becoming more of one. You’re learning to be mean to former bullies or troublemakers. You’re going to fuck them up if they try you ever again. They’re too cowardly to try it, so no worries.

Anyone who wants to spin the block might get their ass kicked. They know it and are a little afraid of you. People don’t want to fuck with the new you. They don’t want to catch those hands, the want that smoke. Hard pass for them.

You are leveling up your look. You are more “extra” with the fashion and makeup. Wigs, piercings, tattoos, hair cut and dyed, new fit, new body. New you. On the outside… but really, you’re matching the aesthetic to the inside. Now people can see who you are and always have been, but upgraded.

I’m seeing a “fall time” aesthetic, and alternative kind of fashion. Selfies incoming! You’ll be posting more on socials and your selfie game is on point. Your follows and likes are going up and up and up.

You will be learning your best angles, features, lighting and so on. You will likely receive sponsorship deals or pursue them. You are going places and getting stuff for free. You will be traveling. Road trip with fun pit stops along the way. Zip-lining over some huge chasm in the ground? … Hmm. Giraffe rides? Wine tasting? Anything you find fun and want to do, you’re going to do it.

You are a badass, to be honest. You have no room for kissing anyone’s ass or being anyone’s subordinate. People in those positions are easily triggered by you. You are doing your own thing and will give respect to those who earn it. You’re too authentic to kiss up.

How To Level Up:

manara ero oracle: the flow of inspiration. for better and for worse.

the citadel oracle: the forgotten. the muse. the shepherd.

To level up, you’re going to be putting yourself in the forefront of your life. You will be the top priority. Your own life story may inspire you moving forward. You are becoming the person you want to be. The person you’ve always needed. The person everyone said you couldn’t be.

You are going to inspire others and lead them from afar, of course. I’m getting heavy online stuff for this pile. Getting in shape, working out, eating well … self care basically. You will be showing off your results online. Tiktok, insta, x … wherever you choose to share / be active online the most.

So get back online and glamorize the shit out of everything you can. You don’t need to post everything, but any time you can get a good selfie, try to do so. And good photos of your surroundings as well.

★ House / Home:

modern witch tarot: 6 of swords. 5 of pentacles. 9 of cups. 6 of pentacles. ace of pentacles.

I see you leaving an old situation or living space for a new one. The new one seems to be a fixer-upper so to speak. You will be satisfied with it, even if you are investing in making it better. It will be your sacred, wonderful space. This is your own thing.

You could be kicking some people out or leaving them in a situation where they can’t stay without your help. That’s for them to figure out. If you feel a pang of guilt, don’t you dare. Spirit is helping you along your life journey. If others have treated you badly it’s their karma. If they just don’t understand you or where you’re coming from, that’s for them to deal with. If you are on amicable terms, spirit will help them out in their own time.

As for you, you will be following your intuition and the synchronicities and signs you see along your path. Your new living space will be a place where no one can tell you that you are wrong or you need to live a particular type of way.

No one can tell you shit in your new place, basically. You’re going to be living on your terms and anyone who disagrees can gtfo. You’re going to be showing them the door and happily so.

You are no longer a door mat. Your space. Your life. Your terms.

Maybe you’re a bully in the eyes of others, but so what? You’ll treat them accordingly. You’re entitled to everything you want and tailoring your life exactly to your own liking, no matter who doesn’t like you.

If you got kicked out of your last place or have to depend on others, I’m seeing this is coming to an end. You’re going to be offered a place to stay or receive an opportunity to get a new place, one that you like and is better for you.

You will have enough to support the person you’re worried about, if this applies to your situation, as well as yourself.

If you owe someone money, you’re going to be able to pay them back. This could be someone who helped you out or it will be someone who you owe a loan to or something.

Anyone who kicked you out previously and sat there with a smirk on their face… spirit has a b*tch slap waiting for them. Their little smug ass is going to end up homeless. This is for someone in particular.

You might also travel a lot and invest in an RV or something where you can just get up and go at any time.

★ Relationships:

modern witch tarot: 3 of wands. 10 of cups. Queen of cups. 5 of cups. Strength.

The people who lost out on having you in their lives are going to depressive and crying. They want you in their life, pile 6. They really want you to be around … too bad, so sad. You’re meeting your soul family now. You’ve got your back turned to unappealing offers of friendships, family ties and collaborations. You’re only accepting people who will be good for you.

And they are on the way. You will have your girlfriends who are loyal to you and have compassion for you. Instead of using your or abusing you, these people will be lifting you up. You’re going to have the support you need, even if it’s in an entirely new situation than what you’re used to.

If they don’t celebrate you and your life, they can’t be in your circle, period. You’d do it for them, so they better step up or gtfo. <3

★ Love & Sex:

tarot: 6 of wands. the empress. the 7 of swords. the devil. 10 of pentacles.

For this pile, you all will be secretly hooking up with a sneaky link. They are sexy as Hell, but you’re both keeping this private. To maintain your appearance of being single or the “ideal person” in your family or community.

You will be financed, cherished and cared for. You can take care of yourself, but you may be taking assets of this sneaky link from them… hmm. More like, you’re using your sex appeal to secure your own cushy life.

You will have sexy time with them, sure. But ultimately, you aren’t going for anyone or anything that doesn’t secure your future financially and materially.

You know you can be emotionally fulfilled on your own anyway.

Not a lot of cups, so love may not be your focus. Securing yourself and being well-off on your own sure is though. No matter what it takes.

★ Career & Money:

tarot: ace of swords. death. 6 of pentacles. 10 of cups. 4 of cups.

You will be putting an end to a stagnant situation for yourself. You are going to find emotional fulfillment in this area of life. You aren’t letting anyone tell you what to do or how to do it, either.

Unless you are. Like if you find a sponsor.

I see you following your bliss to make money and, once again, putting yourself and your joy first. Any unappealing job offers or disappointing job offers will be ignored or turned down. You will be doing work where you are equally compensated for the amount of work you put in.

★ Conclusion

I am getting some vibe from this group like you’re into being an escort or sugar baby for wealthy suitors only. I also see that you’re turning a little Machiavellian. I encourage thinking this way at times. Especially when it comes to your well being and quality of life. You’re a badass and embracing the title of “villain” instead of playing it safe.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 7. ★

★ Songs

icognito - bludnymph. crazy woman - cloudy june. i’m bad at life - falling in reverse. stealth - judgement day. kerosene - miranda lambert.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Astro Dice*: sagittarius. sun. 5th house. libra. sun. 6th house. aquarius. jupiter. 8th house.*

Charms:

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: empty.

Career / Biz / Money: empty.

Social Life / Others: empty.

Love Partnerships: empty.

Advice / Guidance: empty.

Spirit / Self: empty.

Home / Family: empty.

Health / Wellbeing: empty.

Skull Dice*: 33, 555, 11, 333, 6, 5, 3, 2, 1, 66*

★ What Your Haters Think

starspinner tarot. the queen of wands. emperor. the hermit.

Your haters can see that you’ve gone on your own path and are kind of “hermit-ing” yourself away from the world. They realized you disappeared off the face of the planet, but kept stalking your socials for a hint of what you were keeping secret.

The secret was your glow up. You disappeared, got hot and sexy and came back to the scene with a lot more self-control and power. You’re more of a loner now.

You will entertain them, but with a “polite” facade. They won’t have any reason to dis you for the way you’re responding to them, but they can tell you’re completely detached and they mean anything to you.

I randomly drew the page of swords off the top of the deck after shuffling. I feel like they are gossiping about you more now than ever. They cannot deny how gorgeous and hot you are. Jealous.

They may think this was caused by a relationship gone bad or someone who was not good for you.

★ What Your Supporters Think

starspinner tarot. the magician. 3 of cups. queen of wands. 2 of swords. the tower. ace of wands.

You, once again, have people feeling your hotness. They find you extremely attractive. You have a circle of friends who support you as well and more people want to be your friend.

Some of your friends find you incredibly attractive now. Like, your glow up was so shocking it made them get an erection (I’m seeing a group of friends where the nerdy dork girl/boy glows tf up hard and the guys all start pining for them immediately).

They find you incredibly gorgeous.

For the platonic relationships, they want to celebrate your glow up with you. They see that you manifested real physical change.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

starspinner tarot. queen of pentacles. queen of wands. 4 of wands.

★ Self:

You are finally, finally getting back out there after a really time. You may even be apologizing to those who need it most. If you get a chance to apologize to someone, you will take it.

If someone gives you a genuine apology you will appreciate it. If you get a fake ass apology, you’ll just brush it off and say “it’s cool.” You’ll be kind of chill about it. I’m seeing you making right your past wrongs. That’s awesome. I’m inspired by you, Pile 7!

You have a lot to celebrate. Your entire life is all about joy and happiness, celebrating your wins and getting other people back into your life. Relationships worth repairing will be.

Others will be kicked to the curb.

I can’t believe you had a glow up that made you that fucking hot. Others are going to be running from you, but in the best way. You are going to be teaching some players a hard lesson — breaking their hearts instead of them collecting yours. You’re gonna have them

It’s giving major weight loss or new tattoos / piercings … maybe cosmetic procedures. New wardrobe and everything. You have found your new style. You are giving people a run for their money.

You’re going to maintain your newfound hotness, so expect other women to try and get you out of character and to start bullying you in public. It’ll be very obvious that you triggered their insecurities violently.

I see you sitting at a little table and having a beverage like tea or coffee, reading something or watching youtube videos on your phone. Someone walks up with a smug little smirk on their face and starts saying insulting things, but you never look up once or acknowledge their existence. You don’t even adjust your posture. You laugh under your breath, but are entirely comfortable while this person stands there awkwardly until they have to walk away, embarrassed by their own actions. Enjoy the show, Pile 7, your glow up has made you one force to be reckoned with.

I see you having the mentality that “no one is coming to save you.” So you are being your own hero.

Very many people are attracted to you.

You are incredibly powerful too. If you are into magical / occult things, you will be becoming more powerful in that. If not, your presence will be very powerful. Others can feel this in your presence.

I see you not caring to hurt other peoples’ feelings too. You will let men court you, spend money on you and then ruthlessly cut them off. Because they wouldn’t have looked at if you were still heavier, so. No harm, no foul. Let ‘em give you what you deserve. You will be teaching these small-minded suitors to not objectify people like you so much. If they are going to treat you like an object, you might as well let them buy you things and spoil you.

How To Level Up:

You have a determined spirit. You’re going to manifest your desires, by force if necessary. You’re going to be prioritizing yourself.

★ House / Home:

the wild unknown alchemy oracle. chaos (rev). raven’s head. resin. smoke.

starspinner tarot. 2 of pentacles. king of wands. the chariot. ace of wands.

The chaos card appeared reversed. With the smoke card, this indicates clearing out chaotic situations and decluttering. I’m seeing someone cleaning and dusting a big empty room and only putting back what they truly enjoy. Marie Kondo method.

Raven’s head and resin suggest taxidermy to me. Like maybe you’re going to collect dead bugs and hang ‘em up or put them in resin. Maybe you’ll collect animal skeletons and skulls. I do this too! I love taxidermy and find it very cool. I couldn’t tell you why I love those things. They are just so neat. 🕷️

You could also get resin pyramids or something with photos of your loved ones in them.

You’re going to have a little treasure trove of oddities that you enjoy and you’re gonna love it.

I am seeing cat and bird imagery. You will probably have your space set up to be easier for them to navigate. Or you’ll just be getting some new pet supplies or new pets! Yay, new animal friends!

It could be for some of you who have pet birds or cats that passed away, you’ll be having them stuffed so you can keep them close and continue to care for them … just in a different more macabre way now. Very cutesy. Very demure.

Anyway, aside from the neat gothic and “creepy” (not to me, just the aesthetic).

You might away from home or living on the road. Either way, your pets are going with you. I do see a lot of travel for pile 7 in general, but if the rest of this pile isn’t for you, then you’ll just be traveling a lot. Maybe you’ll make-over a bus and live in it? Like a tiny home out of a vehicle type situation.

Living out of a suitcase by choice for some of you.

You may have a hard time deciding whether to put down roots or living alone and free. Part of you wants to do both at different times. Finding a balance between the two isn’t impossible. It’s fine.

You will probably be letting someone else pay for your dwelling, your living situation, while stacking your cash for whenever you feel like leaving.

★ Relationships:

starspinner tarot. the lovers. the 3 of wands. the king of pentacles. 5 of cups. 6 of swords. knight of wands.

You will probably be meeting people who want to take care of you and who offer you stability while you live your life all care-free like. I see that you, personally, aren’t sticking around for a long time. Perhaps during your travels you’ll have flings or trists or what-have-you.

I think you’re really dedicating this time of your life to live creatively and freely. You aren’t getting chained or caged to anyone right now, since you’re on your own path. Any heart ache that arises, you’re back on the road. You aren’t going to be letting the past or sorrow or grief hold you down. You’ll process it for a bit, but then you’re back out there having more fun.

You aren’t letting heartache and missing others stop you from living life to the absolute fullest.

Your frienships might not last very long and you’ll probably have relatives who miss you.

You might be making lots of new LGBTQIA+ besties on the road and during your travels though.

You may have been in a same sex relationship or the two people in it were in their feminine energy. I see you walking right past this person in pursuit of your creativity. You are leaving this person and focusing on you.

★ Love & Sex:

starspinner tarot. the lovers. strength. the star. the tower.

This part is only for some of you: Something unexpected and possibly traumatic happened to you. Despite this, you have the strength to push forward. You are still hopeful and have faith in yourself or that things will work out better next time. For now, you’re on your own journey and are working on making it through the difficult times.

I clarified with some personal cards. I’m seeing that you thought you’d met the one or a trust-worthy partner. They came in like a hero to save the day, offer assistance, but you found out they were just using you. They were a dictator and began to control everything.

For everyone who selected this pile: You’re determined to never ever be controlled again. You are out from under their control, believe me, and you are free. You are doing your own thing and living life on your own terms. You don’t want them anymore and they can’t hurt you. You have complete autonomy over your life.

I don’t see you immediately seeking a new relationship, but rather stability in yourself first. Then, if you meet someone, you’re so open to that.

★ Career & Money:

starspinner tarot. the hierophant. the king of pentacles. temperance. 6 of swords. ace of wands. 9 of pentacles. 6 of pentacles. 5 of pentacles. judgement.

You are financially well off, maybe because of suitors or a trust fund. Maybe you got some money from a lawsuit? I dunno, but I’m assuming you will be vetting your suitors based on whether they can financially provide for you and how you can live your best life. At the same time, you’re going to pursue something creative to have a little money save up.

Maybe you were burned before by being loyal to someone who kept you in poverty, but now you’re running very far away from it. You can make better financial decisions at this point in your life. You are making sure you’re taken care of period. No more poverty, ever. You are taking whatever help you can get, getting your financial independence and moving forward with this mentality.

Things are going to be very good for you.

★ Conclusion

Black cat energy for this pile. You may have some things in common with pile 3 or 4, or have been drawn to those piles. If not, it’s okay. There’s a huge emphasis on personal independence for this group.

You are entering your hot girl era, but you’re going to put in the effort to get it. This means it is change that will last. You get tired of being the old “you” and your old excuses, so you’re putting that version of yourself in a grave. After laying her to rest, you’re going to get your shit together and get back on track.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 8. ★

★ Songs

begin again - taylor swift. hey, soul sister - train. the wanted- chasing the sun. crowded house - don’t dream it’s over. phil collins - another day in paradise. junior senior - move your feet.

★ Charms & Astro Dice

Skull Dice*: 55, 22, 2, 4, 6, 1, 44, 444, 11*

Astro Dice*: Taurus. Jupiter. 8th House. Moon. Aquarius. 9th house. 5th House. 10th House. 6th House. Saturn. Uranus. Cancer. Gemini.*

Charms: astronaut, yellow cuddly chick, bloodied meat cleaver, white star, saturn, pink flamingo, white heart half filled and half empty, red heart, white kitty with huge eyes, pink perfume bottle, pink merkaba / star of david.

On The Charm Board:

Finances / Wealth / Assets / Inheritance: astronaut, yellow cuddly chick

Career / Biz / Money: bloodied meat cleaver.

Social Life / Others: pink perfume bottle, pink merkaba / star of david

Love Partnerships: empty.

Advice / Guidance: red heart, white kitty with huge eyes

Spirit / Self: white heart half filled and half empty.

Home / Family: white star

Health / Wellbeing: saturn, pink flamingo

★ What Your Haters Think

starspinner tarot. the hierophant rev. 9 of pentacles. page of swords. 9 of cups.

manara ero oracle: purity of freedom. pain hidden by luxury. feelings of an awakened heart.

Your haters’ energy is difficult to channel, so I whipped out the tarot cards too. Haters suck, so I’m not trying to embody this energy lol.

They think you’re going home and crying because you’re lonely or they think they broke your heart and destroyed you. You may be heartbroken or grieving, and this could be because of a break up or the loss of someone or something you loved dearly.

But they are incorrect in thinking that you just buy stuff to drown your sorrow and hide behind your luxuries and nice things.

You are poised in public and you are the life of the party — your haters or hater can’t stand this, so they cope by assuming your life is shit behind the scenes. Your supporters have a more accurate view of what you’re doing behind closed doors.

They know you’re free and starting to explore just what freedom means — especially financial freedom — and it is destroying them that you have the opportunity to do this. They want you to stay stuck and stagnant with them. You may have actually had something.

★ What Your Supporters Think

manera ero oracle. purity of purpose. promise of unending love. secrets and discoveries.

Your supporters see how you’re curious about life. They watch from afar and don’t disturb you while you’re doing little things. You may not even notice them watching you. Your supporters love you. Adore you, even. They watch and admire you as you pursue your goals and liven things up.

They love to see you out and about.

They enjoy feeling your warmth. Being in your presence and engaging with you is their greatest pleasure, but seeing you innocently minding your business and doing your own thing like reading or drawing and giggling to yourself? That makes them incredibly happy too.

Your aura and energy could soften the hardest of hearts. At least, they think so. You are just like a small child and others delight in how you go about enjoying life. This makes your haters upset and they won’t acknowledge that you are truly healing to be around.

Your brilliant light irritates their demons. You are genuinely a precious soul. Someone is not going to have access to you anymore and you don’t care. It’s not even a thought in your mind now. You’re on your spiritual path and your guides are making sure you have everything you need and want.

Your haters think you are buying things for yourself and over-indulging to hide that you’re grieving over them. I need to clarify real quick that you genuinely are not a dislike-able or hate-able person. This is, for most of you, one person who has some kind of problem.

Probably because they aren’t on your level anymore, as they are not an energetic match.

💅 Areas of Life That Are Leveling Up

★ Self:

starspinner tarot. 9 of cups. the hermit. death. queen of cups. 5 of cups rev. page of cups.

Pleasure seeking and partying. Not the dangerous kind. You’ll be traveling and just doing anything you can get into. Bongo drums on the beach, random ass dance classes in Italy or whatever. You’re being creative and traveling for it. You’re living for yourself and enjoying your life on your own. 9 of cups, aka wish fulfillment for you is doing whatever brings you personal joy in each moment.

Being creative and explorative is your next glow up. I’m inspired by you! You will be just doing really fun things that you want to do for your inner child or just ‘cause it looks fun.

You are going to indulge in catharsis because, as wonderful as you are, you are going to be incredibly structured. You are highly disciplined in this new era of your life. You carry yourself with grace and poise. You may be learning to do yoga or teaching yoga.

You will have a self-care routine too. This requires discipline as well.

You will be treating your physical vessel as though it is a temple, like it’s a shrine. You will be taking immense care of yourself. You will be close to having the mental discipline of a monk. You will be pouring into yourself after something negative that happened.

Someone may have hurt you horribly, but this is your spiritual journey right now. Your focus is on loving and pouring into yourself. I am seeing someone moving on from grief. You are giving yourself compassion and moving forward into your new life.

This is kind of like a rebirth. There is a highly spiritual element that isn’t overtly spoken or seen, but it is felt by those around you. The peace others feel in your presence is incomparable to anything they’ve felt. It is dense, but it is calm. You will carry this self love and your power with you everywhere you go.

You will do things that make you love life and yourself again. You are healing and nurturing yourself in ways that are exclusive to you.

You’re going to start seeing the magic in everyday life again.

Your social life is going to be okay too. Others can sense that you’re spiritual and the other spiritual people will be interested in getting to know you. You will be making spiritual connections with others.

On another note, you will be finding your signature fragrance or others may inquire about it. You will probably be told that you smell really good. Others may gravitate toward you because of this.

You are transitioning from heart-broken to healed and happy, ready to move on with your life and fill whatever void was left from a recent betrayal or trauma.

🎮 How To Level Up:

Discipline and routine are important to you. You work hard to maintain a good physique. As good as possible, anyway. Saturn is going to reward you for this.

You will be nurturing your inner child. I see you being outside in nature a lot more. Enjoying the grass, the streams and creeks and rivers, the bridges, the trees … just everything. I can see you playing with puppies or feeding stray cats. The weather is so good. Even if it’s bad there’s something to feel and explore and learn about. You’re enjoying every aspect of life again. You aren’t burdened by things that suck the soul out of you.

You are going to enjoy all the small things. All the little details that are often overlooked will become a source of comfort or idle entertainment. You will be glad you remembered how the grooves in the tree bark looked like small valleys and how the veins on the leaves looked like long skinny fingers.

Your attention to detail will be like that of a child again. You will be seeing things with new eyes. You’re not going to let the past hold you back in any capacity. You will realize that it cannot be changed and isn’t worth revisiting. You’re safe now.

★ House / Home:

Your home is going to nourish and nurture your soul.

For those of you who have family, they are going to be such a source of relief for you. They are going to help you out. you can rely on them when you’re in trouble or in pain. A parent, a grandparent, a pet or a child even. Your family is who your heart says it is. There are people around you really do love you.

Oof that made me tear up. I almost sobbed like one time.

Your home is going to be your sanctuary and will be a great source of comfort for you. You may get a special light to make things more calm in your bedroom or anywhere in your home. I think you’ll have a cozy little book nook with a really cute blanket, books on shelves or a small shelf near a window or bed. You will probably have a nice comfy chair or sofa to relax in while you read. You may sit here and journal with a manifestation journal and a cute ink pen. You probably will have a beverage of choice on hand in your favorite mug.

You might have a Brita water filter thing. I can see you “purifying” things in your home, especially things that you consume.

Your home will be your guiding light. In your family unit, you are their north star. You give them hope and make them feel safe. You are the embodiment of the term “Home.” Not just to your family. You make people feel so good and calm, free to talk about whatever brings them joy and happiness. You’re so wholesome I’m about to cry for the third time during your reading.

★ Relationships:

Others will love being around you. They will really enjoy your high vibe. You will be fun to be around and entertaining. You will likely have people throwing their head back laughing or hype them up when they need it. I can see you making others feel so much joy. It feels so good to be in your energy. I could start cry-laughing just being in your energy.

Note: I just thought of the song “Begin Again” by Taylor Swift while I was doing your reading. You’re going to be incredibly healing to others. I can see that other people in your life will likely offer support, even if you don’t see it now. They will uplift you too. But you are the light here. You are so sunny and cheerful. I started crying. You’re going to have people belly-laughing like when they were just kids.

You will be remembered as the person who said the most iconic line with the perfect delivery for years to come. This isn’t just one moment, but many moments like this. You’re going to feel so naturally in your element too.

You bring cheer and happiness to even the most boring or depressing places.

★ Love & Sex:

This is not an area of focus for your glow up. You may already have these things or they simply won’t play a huge part in this next phase of your life. It’s all good. Spirit doesn’t want you to stress about this. Relax. Spirit doesn’t want you to feel deprived of anything ever, but is suggesting to be celibate for a time. Until you’re healed from the most recent heartache and are truly ready with all your body and soul.

★ Career & Money:

There is a brief stint where you’re going to be the villain — ruthless and cunning, ensuring you cut this person / thing out of your life with a crushing blow. This could have been someone who was absolutely doing everything in their power to destroy you. You may have been victimized by someone and you finally have the means to stop it.

You may also be this person, or have been in the past to get your bag and ensure your future is as comfy as you’d like it to be. You don’t have to end people’s careers or be evil, ya know. Innocent people could end up getting crushed under your feet.

I feel like most people who picked this pile are not the bad guy here. But if you are, I suggest making amends if the other party is open to that. If not … just don’t go around destroying people who have done nothing wrong to you.

Scenario 1: You’re going to actually be making a harsh, cut-throat decision and something in this area will be ended permanently. It can be easy to lose your humanity in exchange for status and material gain. I know it is, because I’ve been on that path too. It never leads anywhere good. The higher you climb, the longer you will have to fall.

For this, you will have a financial cushion to fall back on. Some inheritance or assets are coming your way (if you do not already possess them). Regardless, this is a decision that must be made.

Do not carry this energy with you after the cut-off. Just a one and done kind of deal will be enough. You do not have to identify as a monster, cruel evil **shole or anything you don’t want to. Everything will ultimately be okay if you do this.

Scenario 2: I feel that someone may have done this to some of you who selected this pile. There may have been some workplace drama or cruelty where you were victimized. The ten of swords paired with the meat cleaver charm indicates this was the case: you were treated unfairly and it was a huge loss. This may have even been a traumatic betrayal.

Whoever they were will see you in your Empress energy. They will be lost in the dark and all alone. They will have no place on your journey with you and will feel angry. They won’t be able to do anything to you except kick rocks. They tried to take your money, but your spirit team has an inheritance or assets of some sort to give you, if you haven’t got them already.

Regardless, for some of you, something was taken wrongfully in the money department but will be given back.

And for others of you, you have to make a hard decision to cut someone off, but it will unblock your finances. This person or situation is holding you back or hurting you.

And for a small portion of you, you may actually choose to be ruthless needlessly and stomp your way to a cushy life, but spirit is cautioning against this if you have any conscience at all.

★ Conclusion

Your path will still have ups and downs, but you’re prepared for the tough feelings and events that happen in life. You are held by spirit, your spirit guides, the earth, your loved ones, your furry friends and yourself. You are strong and resilient. You have maintained and nurtured your childlike wonder and innocence (not complete innocence, as you are an experienced human being, but fostering your innocent side will be a focus for now).

You will be okay here. <3 Spirit has you, like your light envelopes and nurtures others. You’re so beautiful inside and out. Your soul is incredible.

You are going to be that person who lights up the room because you are so full of light. You pour into yourself and that shows outwardly. You may even physically have a radiance and glow about you.

That's all for this reading! It took me months to finish. Over 2000 words per reading... not bad, right? Anyway, my asks are open! Please send your tarot questions or astrology questions. I'm no pro, but I'd love to interact with people in the tarot and astro community some more.

And foster positive connections as well. ✌️💖

[theothebogwitch]

My Thoughts on the 2024 Election Results…

How? How could he win again?!

A putrid, vile, decrepit man with no right to wield the power he has been given. A man so lacking in intelligence that he can barely form coherent sentences. A man who would see our democracy fall to ash and ruin instead of conceding to defeat. A man who insighted violence upon our nation's capital so that he might cling to his fleeting power.

How does such a man take the seat at the head of our nation once more, over an impeccably intelligent, well-spoken woman?

How?!

The outcome of this election feels like the punchline to a bad comedy. The looming fact that it is now not a matter of if my rights to live, and love freely and openly will be taken from me, but a matter of when. Rights that have been so vehemently fought for throughout decades of activism and protest, now will be dissolved before I have ever had the chance to exercise them. Where my heart not so blackened by despair, I could almost laugh at the cruel comedy of it all.

It doesn't feel real. It feels like a horrible dream. A terrible reoccurring dream that I cannot wake from. It doesn't make sense. How did he so handily win when he was so widely disliked? How did he win the popular vote? How did he win, when it was almost a universal sentiment that we needed someone younger in the Oval Office? Was I truly in such an air-tight leftist echo chamber that I couldn't fathom this outcome? Was I truly this blind to how far right our country had fallen? I am not one to fall for conspiracy easily, but it feels like there was some sort of outside influence or some underhanded business. How do we have a record-breaking voter turnout and voting lines longer than we have seen in decades... and yet nearly 18 million fewer total votes than in 2020?

Do men truly so vehemently hate women that they would rather sign the death warrant on our democracy than see a woman take the office of President?

Was the economy truly such a grand issue? Was his "concept of a plan" really so convincing? If you think a man, with 34 felony convictions, and at least 6 corporate bankruptcies, is going to fix our economy you are irreparably stupid. Was the false promise of lower gas prices so enticing that you would sign our country over to tyranny? All these economic promises are naught but illusions, and deceptions, lies told by a vile man who will do anything to maintain his chokehold on power.

And spare me the empty, condescending platitudes that masquerade as hope, for they offer no solace. The unbearable anger and despair that has come to bear upon my shoulders feels as if it could crush me under its weight. Each moment that drags on feels like an eternity, and the thought of waking to see the dawn of another day feels like an improbable miracle. Should I find the strength to draw breath as the sun rises tomorrow, it would be a testament to resilience against these shades that haunt this waking nightmare that has become our reality.

[loverhymeswith]

How do we feel about a one shot with “Dress” with a little smut here and there😏

Only Bought This Dress So You Could Take It Off

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x F!Reader

Summary: Written for The Taylor Swift Tapes: Tommy Shelby - based on ”Dress”

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: 18+ only, minors dni. Smut. Not beta-read.

A/N: Thank you so much, Anon. I love this song and I was hoping someone might request it!

“Your hands are shaking, love.”

The sound of Tommy’s deep voice tears you away from the paperwork in your lap, a handful of important documents that require your signature - ostensibly, the only reason for your presence here tonight.

“I didn’t think they were ever going to leave.” You glance across the dimly lit office, towards the doorway through which Polly, Michael and Arthur have finally disappeared. 

Like your hands, there’s an audible tremor to the words as they leave your painted lips. Business with the Shelby family often seems to be a drawn-out affair, with evenings like this proving to be a lesson in patience. What could have been a fifteen-minute meeting has stretched out into the early hours of the morning. 

But finally, the two of you are alone.

Tommy offers you a cigarette across the desk, but you decline, choosing to watch instead as he lights his own. The brief glow of the flame illuminates the sharp angles of his face, his expression remaining calm. Neutral. It never fails to amaze you - the apparent ease with which he maintains the illusion of control. 

“It’s killing you that much, eh? The anticipation?” The twitch of his jaw confirms your growing suspicion. He’s finding this amusing. 

“It’s been hours, Tom.” You scowl, shifting in your seat and pressing your thighs together. A woman’s patience has its limits. 

Tommy takes a long drag of his cigarette. When the smoke clears, his blue eyes are fixed on you. “And it will be worth the wait.”

“Is that a promise?”

The ghost of a grin flickers across his face, alarming in its rarity. He really should smile more often. Thomas Shelby has always been an undeniably handsome man, but when he smiles he is devastating. 

“Are you going to sign them anytime soon?” He nods to the documents clutched in your hands. Right. Now he’s waiting on you.

Without hesitation, you reach over for his pen and hastily scrawl your name along the first dotted line. 

It had been a curious twist of fate that had seen the Shelby family thrust back into your life almost twelve months ago. When your ailing uncle with no children of his own had granted you joint power of attorney over his growing liquor empire, you hadn’t expected to find yourself returning to your hometown of Birmingham, let alone landing directly in the path of your childhood best friend.

Six years had passed since the last time you had seen Tommy Shelby on the streets of Small Heath - six long years since the outbreak of The Great War. The conflict had irrevocably changed a lot of things; Tommy and his brothers were no exception, the horrors they had witnessed and wrought turning them into shadows - demons - of their former selves. 

But when you first found yourself standing before Tommy in his shiny new office on Watery Lane, it quickly became apparent that no amount of time or turmoil could quell the stirring of desire that had begun to blossom between the two of you in the months prior to him leaving for France.

No distance could erase the mark his friendship had left on you, an invisible tattoo.

By all accounts, it was nothing short of a miracle that had brought the two of you back together, and if this was simply borrowed time, neither of you planned on letting it go to waste.

“All done,” you declare, dropping the paperwork onto the desk with a small smile.

Tommy gathers the documents towards him before leaning over to pluck the pen from your grasp, his fingers lingering for a beat too long against your own. As he swiftly countersigns the agreements, cigarette poised between his plump lips, your pulse quickens. 

Hopefully, this is the last distraction of the evening.

With excruciating care and clearly testing the bounds of your patience, Tommy shuffles the paperwork, straightening the pages before sliding them into a leather bound folder and locking it away in his drawer. 

“Now that business has been taken care of…” He rises slowly, extinguishing his cigarette in the expensive bronze ashtray. “...we can attend to more important matters.”

“What did you have in mind?” You fight to hide the excitement in your voice, equally resisting the urge to stare at his muscular thighs as he rounds the desk to stand before you, hands resting casually in his pockets. 

You’d hate to give him any more satisfaction when you’re already confident he knows just what effect he’s having on you; the master of planning and strategy, indeed.

“That’s a pretty dress,” Tommy observes roughly, blue eyes dipping leisurely to the swell of your chest. 

Before you can respond, he offers a hand to pull you to your feet and proceeds to twirl you around, gaining an even better view of the dress in question. It had been a calculated purchase on your part and so far, the expensive silk number seems to be well worth the investment. 

Apparently pleased by every angle, Tommy stops you abruptly when your back is turned to him, silently stepping closer until you find yourself pressed up against his chest. A large hand lands on your waist, keeping you anchored against him - inescapable, not that you would ever want to try.

As he inclines his head to whisper into your ear, his warm breath tickles your cheek. “But I thought that I might take it off.” 

Your own breath hitches, your blood turning to molten desire as the reality of his words sinks in. “I was hoping you would say that,” you admit as his other hand begins to trail a warm path from your wrist, up to your shoulder, eventually reaching the edge of your satin sleeve. Ever so gently, he tugs it down.

“Here?” You struggle to hide your surprise, biting your lip as his mouth brushes over your exposed skin. With privacy so important to the two of you, Tommy usually takes great care to ensure you won’t be disturbed - a suite at The Midland Hotel, or at least a locked bedroom. “What if they come back?”

“They won’t,” he mutters into the crook of your neck.

“But Polly-”

The sound of your name, murmured softly into the shell of your ear cuts you off, and it’s as if everything else simply stops. 

Time stands still. 

The fear of reproval should either family find out about the two of you fades away as Tommy’s capable fingers slide to the fastenings of your dress. 

“We’ve waited long enough,” he reminds you.

Despite this, Tommy still takes his time undressing you; a small part of you is grateful. After all, you really like this outfit, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’d destroyed articles of clothing in his haste to get the two of you naked. Buttons torn from blouses and shredded stockings, his passion in the bedroom more than matching the power of his machinations in the boardroom.

After helping you step out of the dress, he turns you around, lips parting as his eyes dance over every inch of your bare body. His pupils are blown wide with lust. Along with his quiet confidence, his reaction is more than enough to chase away any lingering doubt about being so exposed here in his office.

With his attention still focused firmly in your direction, his hands rise to the dark straps of his shoulder holster but you step forwards and take his hand, effectively stopping him in his tracks. 

“I’ll do it,” you tell him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. Because two can most assuredly play at this game. 

Tommy stands perfectly still as your fingers brush along the corded muscle of his biceps, sliding the leather straps of the holster over the sleeves of his crisp white cotton shirt before discarding the item on his desk. 

One down…

A muscle in Tommy’s jaw ticks as you meet his eye again, before giving his waistcoat equally attentive treatment. You can feel the beat of his heart, pounding furiously within his chest. A thrill runs through you to know that your touch has this kind of effect on such a man.

Two down…

Once his waistcoat has fallen to the floor, you make a start on the buttons of his shirt, but Tommy growls, grabbing your wrists. 

“Enough.”

It seems his patience has finally run out.

Without warning, he lurches forwards, sweeping the contents of his desk to the floor. 

Before you can even begin to anticipate what comes next, he lifts you by the waist, depositing you unceremoniously onto the edge of the now-empty desk. You gasp as he swiftly parts your thighs, placing himself between them and pressing the hard length of his body into that sweet spot at your centre.

“Tommy,” you moan, shifting your hips in the pursuit of much needed friction.

Countering the rough and sudden behaviour of just moments earlier, Tommy releases your waist and his hands rise to cup your jaw, thumbs stroking your cheeks as he gently tilts your head towards him. 

“No more waiting.” 

He punctuates the command with a claiming kiss, the kind of kiss that ignites the smouldering desire beneath your bare skin until every cell in your body is keenly attuned to his presence, his own desire evident as you continue to rock against him.

“No more waiting,” you agree, muttering the words against his mouth without breaking the kiss, sharp teeth grazing his lips. At the same time, you reach for his belt buckle, fingers fumbling to free him from the confines of his slacks.

Once he’s stripped from the waist down with only his half-buttoned shirt still remaining, Tommy splays a hand across your lower back, the heat of him a burning brand against your sensitive skin. Meanwhile, you clutch his broad shoulders for support, readying yourself for what comes next. 

With his other hand, he lines himself up against your core. 

Tommy doesn’t waste another second - not another word -  before he’s breaching your slick entrance, burying himself to the hilt in a single thrust. His name is torn from your lips, this time in the form of a strangled cry, but he dips his head, quietening you with another kiss. 

It’s a brief reprieve, though. Just long enough for you to relax around him, to catch your breath. Because he knows better than to be patient and gentle now - knows that, just like him, you enjoy the pressure. That you crave the burn as he stretches you to your limit and beyond, over and over again until you lose yourself to pleasure, until you find yourself hurtling towards your release.

In the amber light of the office - darker now since the lamp clattered to the floor - Tommy’s skin is flushed, his ocean blue eyes almost black. But not once does his intense gaze waver as he fucks you over the desk. Like he’s afraid that if he looks away you might vanish - that this might all have been a dream.

Overwhelmed by both his attention and the way he angles his hips to hit that sweet spot deep inside, you rapidly find yourself shattering around him.

As always, he doesn’t let you fall too hard, holding you close as you ride out the wave of your climax.

“I’ve been thinking,” Tommy grunts suddenly, his pace finally faltering as he smooths a strand of hair from your sweat-slick brow. 

“Should I be worried?” you pant, struggling to focus on his words. The room is still spinning. You're drunk on him.

Ignoring your teasing question, he presses his lips against your breast, driving his hips deeper one final time as he spills inside you. 

“I’ve finally woken up,” he rasps. 

It’s so unlike Tommy to speak in riddles that you find yourself tensing beneath him. Roughly, you grab his face, forcing him to look at you. “What are you talking about, Tom?”

He stills, lowering his head until your brows are touching. There isn’t an inch of space between you and when he speaks, his voice is hoarse. “You're the only person who knows me - who believes in me. In my worst times, you see the best in me. And even with my worst lies…you always see the truth in me.”

Concerned, you pull back from him. Clearly, his sex-addled brain is not functioning correctly. “Tommy, what are you-” 

“I love you.”

Silence fills the room. It’s so unexpected, his admission, that you freeze. Imaginary walls fracture like glass around you. 

When this thing between you and Tommy started up months ago, there had been an unspoken agreement that it could be nothing more than lust. An added benefit of your business transactions. Your family history, not to mention the relationship between your two companies, is far too complicated for anything more. 

Love was never part of the deal.

But as much as you might want to believe that he’s simply not thinking straight - that he’s as intoxicated by your body as you are by his, you realise he is right. You see the hope - the truth - reflected back at you in those beautiful blue eyes.

Tommy Shelby has fallen in love with you.

Even if you wanted to, there's nothing you can do about it.

Tommy Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @crysxtal @simpforbuckyb @shynovelist @amberpanda99 @globetrotter28 @iammrsrogers @dragonsondragons @butterfly-lover @sunshineyourethebesttime @that-sarcastic-writer @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @breezy2and2freezy @fia-thefirst @dreamy-caramel @trixie23

[genshin-side-piece]

Hazy Shade of Winter (Part 2)

Warnings: Yandere Content, Implied Kidnapping, Implied Captivity, Implied Stalking, Implied drug use, Mentions of alcohol, ]Non-Consensual Touching, my bad writing, anything else I missed, 18+, Minors DNI

A/N: Slightly (?) OOC Wriothesley. I think. I'm honestly not sure. But fair warning just to be safe. Follow up to Hazy Shade of Winter (Part 1)

There was no way to tell time in this place. Being miles under the surface meant no windows, which meant no real way to track the light. Wriothesley also didn’t seem that keen on clocks, or maybe, he wasn’t keen on them where you were concerned. It was a clever strategy, hiding something as essential as time from you.  Without it, you couldn’t gauge how long it had been since Wriothesley had left you. Nor could you know when he would be back. It might be minutes or it could be hours. You could only guess. What you were certain of was that the time you had been allowed was enough to at least feel marginally better. The hangover you’d suffered from thanks to the alcohol and the unnamed stuff had begun to ease. Though you still felt like you’d been struck by a water bus. Eventually, you found yourself capable of leaving the bed long enough to clean yourself up. It was a relief to finally rid yourself of the gritty taste in your mouth. It made you feel somewhat human again, even if it did nothing to change your circumstances. When you were satisfied, you retreated back to the bed, pulling the sheets and light comforter over you. There you stayed, hiding in the darkness. It lured you into the false belief that you were temporarily safe from the storm that was to come. Given your first encounter, you silently hoped that when he returned, Wriothesley would just leave you be. That he would pick on the fact that you cared as much for his rules as you did him and in turn, he would just go. It wasn’t like there was a rush to explain them anyway. You were a captive with no means of escape. From your point of view, he had all the time in the world to explain his expectations for you. His insistence on doing so first thing, when you weren’t even coherent, betrayed the cool facade that he had maintained since. He was excited. He was eager. No amount of sarcasm or dry humor would ever be able to hide that. 

Those emotions further betrayed him upon his eventual return.  Wriothesley tried to seem amicable, at least that’s what you thought. His true tone was muffled thanks to the blankets. You really didn’t care anyway. You only hoped he would get the message and leave. He didn’t. Instead, he ripped the blankets away from you, tearing away the illusion of safety you felt you had. “Still sleepy are we?” The wry tone in his voice did nothing to help. Nor did the tray of food he had brought with him. The sight of questionable sausage and what you thought was porridge made your stomach lurch. You tried to look at anything other than him or the tray; the walls, the ceiling, the door he had left open. Wait. Your eyes went back to it. The door, Wriothesley had left it open when he had come in. Either he was confident you wouldn’t try anything or he was testing you. It really didn’t matter. The proverbial door was open and you were prepared to take it.

You only gave the disgusting excuse for food one more glance before you threw it back in his face. Literally. Your hands came up in one swift motion, smacking the tray out from under him. You barely had time to register the way the light reflected off the porcelain bowl as it flew at Wriothesley before you made a break for it. Again with both hands, you gave him a hard shove, throwing him off just enough to squeak by and make a break for the open door. Around you, silverware clanged as it hit the floor. Glass and porcelain shattered leaving little cuts on your exposed skin, and a very distinctive grunt followed you as you desperately tried to get away. Wriothesley’s hand in your hair ended any hope of that coming true. You hadn’t even made it a handful of steps when the force of which he pulled you back ripped a scream out of you. One moment you were vertical. The next you were facing the ceiling, back pressed firmly into the lumpy mattress as Wriothesley snatched a hold of one of your wrists.  “Oh” He let out a dry laugh, that same dangerous glint returning to his eyes. “You want to fight do you? Well-” With his free hand he reached down, detaching the cuffs from his belt. “Let’s fight.” One look at them told you his intentions. With a garbled scream, you kicked at him again. This time though he was ready. Wriothesley maneuvered his hips between your flailing legs. The best you could do was smack him square in the ass with your calf. An action he seemed to enjoy, based on the smirk he gave you after you landed your first strike. “Give it to me.” Meaning your other hand. His tone was flat, expectant, and generally uninterested. To your horror, your escape attempt had done little to rile him up. Instead, he patiently held out one hand, while the other kept a grip on the wrist he had since locked in his handcuffs. “You’re already going to be punished for refusing your food. It’s only going to get worse for you if I have to reach under you and get that hand myself. Do yourself a favor and give it to me.” You still refused, vehemently shaking your head no. It was a foolish move on your part. You were all too aware of that. The smart decision would be to cooperate with him. To obey him this one time in the hope that he offered you some form of clemency. That wasn’t the decision you made though. Instead, you chose to refuse. You chose to fight. Two things you had been denied thanks to how he’d had you abducted. Two things you were all too prepared to give him in spades. All things considered, It was no less than he deserved. Wriothesley could only sigh at your refusal. He almost managed looking mournful for a moment, but it was short lived. The cocky smirk returned before he could finish his next statement. “You really want me to be the bad guy, don’t you?” Your response was to try to tuck your arm even further behind you, cementing your choice to disobey him rather than concede. “Foolish.” He clicked his tongue. “I suppose you’re really no different than the rest. Seems you’ll just have to learn this lesson the hard way.” There was only a brief shrug of his shoulders before Wriothesley finally followed through on one of his threats. All it took was one pull. 

You screamed again, the metal of the cuff around your one wrist digging into your flesh to an extreme degree as he drug your entire body off the bed. The pain that shot through your body was horrific. It felt like he was trying to rip your arm off from the force alone. Nevermind thin cuts and bruises left by the steel he had locked around your wrist. It was a foregone conclusion that he was going to get what he wanted. The force from the pull had wrenched what control you had away from you. Your body flailed in a tangle of limbs as you tried to catch yourself from falling face first onto the metal floor. He caught you, barely, but he made sure that you didn’t land into the pool of gray gunk that was congealing on the floor. Instead, you were wrenched up by your waist long enough for your other wrist to be captured in the steel of his cuffs. From there you were unceremoniously dumped onto a clean part of the floor and left to wait.

There was no quip that followed your escape attempt. No snide comment or even the faintest hint of judgment. Just a cold glare as he removed the longer chain from his outfit. The rattling bounced off the metal walls, causing you to flinch at the noise. While your headache had temporarily subsided, the piercing noise of metal echoing off of metal seemed to bring it roaring back. You whimpered, but only enough so he wouldn’t hear you over the jostling of his outfit. Thankfully he was kind enough to be quick about it, but only because removing the offending chain was easy work for him. The fact that he was punishing you to the point that you felt your ears would bleed was an inconsequential detail. You half expected him to say you deserved it. “I’ll only say this once.” He rotated the chain until he had an end in each hand. “Do as I ask. Don’t make me use force again.” Implying you wouldn’t like what would happen. Considering your present circumstances, you were fairly sure you wouldn’t. He’d already had you kidnapped and personally manhandled you without much provocation. To push him much further, at least at present, might result in a situation that was altogether unpleasant. “Hands” He gestured for you to lift your cuffed hands, which after a slight hesitation, you did. It wasn’t a leap to figure out his next move. One end of the chain found its way around the connecting link of the cuffs, while the other stayed firmly in his hand. “Up.” He moved his hand and you half expected another gesture, but instead he held it out to you, offering it as a means of assistance should you need it. An entirely gentlemanly gesture, from a brute of a man. You ignored it, awkwardly pushing yourself onto your wobbly legs. The effort to right yourself was a struggle. The failed escape attempt and subsequent fight after had drained what little energy you had woken up with away. Your legs felt no better than jelly. Standing on them or worse trying to walk on them would require a specific level of effort that you weren’t sure you possessed. The decision to not eat was a poor one. Even if the food was revolting, you probably should have seized the chance to get something in your aching stomach. At least then you could still the shaking that was quickly working its way across your entire body.

Wriothesley didn’t give you time to fret over it nor did he wait for you to fully steady yourself. The brief show of gentlemanly behavior was forgotten almost as quickly as it was offered. He yanked the chain hard, dragging you through the doorway and into the empty room beyond with little trouble or care. You stumbled, falling to your hands and knees against the rough metal floor, the sharp edges of the cold metal cutting into your exposed flesh even more. The sting from the metal biting your skin made you wince, not that Wriothesley noticed. He kept walking, pulling the chain tighter the further away he got. The silent demand from him was that you keep up; whether it was by walking or crawling. He didn’t seem to mind which. He only wanted you to follow until he ordered you to stop. Then he would move on to whatever humiliation he had planned next. Your cheeks burned at the very thought of it. How dare he. You had half a mind to repay his rough behavior with some of your own, but you weren’t nearly as strong as him. Given his size, you doubted you would be able to shift him. At most, you pulling on the chain or refusing to go any further would be a mild jerk against his hand. An inconvenience for him at worst. Hardly worth the energy or the struggle considering your current predicament. 

“Rule number one.” His voice drew you from your thoughts, pulling your attention back to him. He strode to the center of the room, bending down to loop the chain through a d-ring that was bolted to the floor. “You are the master of your own treatment here.” You stared up at him through the fringe of your lashes as he stood to his full height. “Call it irony” He shrugged. “But I don’t like the idea of punishing you. It took quite a bit of work on my part to bring you here. I even paid extra for the deluxe delivery.” Were you supposed to be impressed by that? It was laughable to consider that he expected you to fall all over yourself and thank him for taking such care with your abduction. Yet one look at him told you, that was exactly what he wanted, or rather he expected your compliance as a result of his supposed care of you. A trade. A bargain. An insult. In your mind, if he had the nerve to kidnap you, then the very least he could do was see to your safety during said act. Anything afterwards, like now, was a different transaction. Something you weren’t entirely interested in participating in unless it involved your unconditional release.  “So bearing that in mind, I suggest you consider your actions or rather your reactions in the future. I don’t want to get rough with you, but as you’ve seen, I’m not above doing it.”

“My actions?” He didn’t bother to hide his surprise when you finally broke your silence. “I’m sorry, I can’t recall ever having someone kidnapped for any reason, let alone to satisfy my own vanity.” He was quick. Despite his surprise, Wriothesley was able to volley a response back to you or rather he tried too. “That’s not-” You scoffed looking away for a moment. Any excuse or justification would go as far as his own lips. You didn’t want to hear them. You didn’t care about them. Clearly, based on your own feelings, they didn’t matter. Nothing could justify what he had done to you, nor would it justify anything that would happen in the future.  You could spend a thousand years with him and still call him a stranger. Above you, he let out a long breath. Your refusal to hear him had given him pause. You could tell those cold eyes were still firmly fixed on your face. He was intently watching every single thing you did. You knew he was.  When you finally decided to turn back, your eyes met his. They had never left you. He merely traded the view of your face for the back of your head and vice versa. Beneath the surface, you could see a myriad of emotions swirling within his eyes. He wasn’t as confident as he appeared. Wriothesley had worries, he had concerns. There was even what you felt was a twinge of doubt if you looked long enough. 

In turn, his eyes read and judged every emotion, every expression that you didn’t bother to hide. They saw your anger, your confusion, and even your own fear. You hadn’t fully acknowledged it yet, but you were every bit afraid as you were angry. In the span of a night, your life had become the property of someone else. He could do anything he wanted with it. You were powerless in stopping him from doing anything he wanted. Your current predicament was proof of that. “Look, I-” He let out another sigh. “I don’t want our first true interaction to happen this way. Please don’t be like this.” Please don’t fight. That’s what he meant. Just submit to his wishes and desires. Don’t make him beg, don’t make him force you. A not so impassioned plea from a man who was a stranger to you. He was trying his best to placate the fury that was radiating off your body, but the wound he had inflicted with his actions was far too fresh for it to work. “I’m happy to make nice with you. I’ll chalk the escape attempt up to the fact that you’re still adjusting. Perhaps I was being a tad unrealistic with how long it would take you to work through everything. Though-” There was a long pause after that. “in truth I would like an apology. You nearly burned half my face off with hot porridge.” He gestured to the side of his face as some sort of reference. You silently stared back, wishing you had. There was a chance you would have gotten away or at the very least put some much needed space between you and him. “Come on. I’m giving you an easy out here. Just apologize and we can move forward. It will make things easier for us both if you do. Believe me when I say that I would rather spend the limited time I do have with you doing anything else but fighting with or punishing you.” Swallowing, you silently noted that he was in for a rude awakening. “I would rather be at home, in my own bed. But we can’t always get what we want, can we?” A chill washed over the room. You weren’t sure if it was him or you, but you felt it all the same. “Instead I find myself at the mercy of a lunatic!” Your voice shook as the fear began to overtake your anger. The lack of food was fueling your desperation, which in turn was driving both your fear and your anger. You could feel yourself slowly losing control. It was a vicious cycle, which was reaching its conclusion at a rapid place. “I have no intention of playing this sick game of yours.” His entire body sagged in what you could only guess was disappointment.

“God-” He rubbed his scared eye with his free hand. “I truly didn’t think you would be this stubborn.” His hand fell back to his side as he stared at you with fondness. “It’s cute though. I like someone with a little bite to them. Makes things interesting. Still, I was hoping you would get the message right off the bat. But, if you insist we spend this time this way, then so be it. I will be all too happy to give you what you are so eager to earn.” He wrapped a length of chain around his hand, tightening what was left between you and him, pulling your arms towards the d-ring. You had to inch forward on your knees, just to ease some of the tension in your shoulders. “I will, out of the kindness of my heart, forgive earlier.  Before I left for my meeting I did tell you that you could be upset with me and in that spirit, I suppose you were only doing as you were told. I can’t fault you for it.” He wrapped another length around his hand, pulling the chain even tighter and you ever closer. “Just now though.” He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he silently recalled what had just transpired. “I’m afraid I can’t forgive that. Refusals, altercations, and escape attempts are strictly forbidden from here on out. As I mentioned, you are the master of your own treatment. Behave and we can co-exist peacefully. I might even consider special privileges if I’m convinced you’re sincere in your behavior.” Refuse him or fight him or even try to escape him and you would end up where you were now or possibly somewhere far worse. 

In retrospect, you knew your current predicament was fairly mild compared to the ways he could make you suffer. Humiliation, starvation, degradation, and pain were only the first steps. There were bones that hadn’t been shattered, flesh that hadn't been marked, limbs that hadn’t been removed. You and he had a long way to go before you reached the point of no return, and that’s if you ever got there. In the back of your mind, you knew you wouldn’t last that long. He would break you long before you ever got to that point. “Am I being clear?” “What-” Tears stung at your eyes for the first time, closing your throat and forcing you to momentarily choke on your own words. You didn’t want to admit defeat so easily, but what other choice did you have? This was his world. Even if you managed to get free, no one within the fortress or outside of it would help you. He could easily send the guardes or even himself after you. The general population of Fontaine wouldn’t question why a fugitive from the fortress was being hunted. The assumption would be you were just another escaped convict. A threat that the Duke himself felt he needed to personally handle. 

It was only then that you realized your disappearance probably hadn’t even been noted. It had been the weekend when you had gone out. Work had been tiresome and the promise of a day off meant you had the chance to blow off some much needed steam. With that in mind, there would be no one to miss you if you didn’t show up the next day. Same for the day after. By the time you did have to return to work, Wriothesley would have had plenty of time to cover your tracks. He could make your disappearance seem quite ordinary. Maybe you had run away to Sumeru, you had been talking about it or perhaps that serial killer got you. Wouldn’t that give your co-workers something to talk about? Maybe no one would even notice. People came and went from your place of work everyday. It wasn’t that unusual for someone to be there one day and gone the next. The reality of that hit you harder than the sedative had. No one could help you. No one would save you. Not a single soul, outside of those involved, knew you were here. No one, outside of the man standing above you, cared.

You choked back a sob as that information sunk in. It was loud enough and perhaps distraught enough that Wriothesley drew his brows together in genuine concern. From your vantage point you could see he wanted to check on you, to ask if you were alright, but he held his tongue. He just stood there, staring at you as hot tears spilled freely down your cheeks. “What do you want?” A pregnant pause followed that. As if the answer was stupidly obvious to everyone, except you. 

“I would think that is rather plain.” You looked up at him again through tear stained lashes, sniffling as he moved closer. “I want you.” Your throat bobbed, thickly swallowing the rising panic that was filling your body. You racked your brain, trying to think of any reason as to how or why this happened. How had an excuse me, an introduction, and have a nice day translated into you being in chains at his feet? The encounter between you had only lasted seconds. In your own mind, there was no feasible way a chance meeting could have this result, unless the meeting itself wasn’t by chance. 

Your eyes flew back to his face as your mind began to put all the puzzle pieces together. Chocolates, flowers, perfumes, and even lingerie had been sent to you in droves over the course of the year. Your mind whirled, suddenly recalling all the other strange or odd occurrences that had happened, especially in the last few weeks or so. The feeling of eyes watching you everywhere you would go. Strangers scribbling notes when they thought you weren’t looking. Your clothes, namely your underwear turning up missing every time you took your things to the laundress. The door to your apartment being unlocked despite you remembering that you had locked it. God. Your eyes got wider as the full picture came together. A year. Oh god, he had been watching you for a year.  “Look who finally figured it out.” 

On instinct, you tried to pull away, but his foot slamming down on the chain brought that plan to a decided halt. Your body jerked with the chain, a frustrated whine escaping your throat as you continued to struggle against the cuffs. Escape in this case was utterly futile. You knew that. The chain that was connected to your wrists was firmly in his hand. Even if you managed to get away from him, the room you were in only had one visible door; the chamber from which you had just come. The exit you could not see, the one that would take you to the rest of the fortress was almost assuredly locked. Then there was the fortress itself. A maze of locked doors and heavy bars. If the building itself didn’t stop you, then the guardes most certainly would. All Wriothesley needed to do was raise the alarm and he could have your right back where you were now in a matter of minutes. “You know-” Your eyes met his again, noting the hints of malice that were beginning to swirl in the icy blue depths. “I never believed that you didn’t fully know.” He leaned down, resting an arm on his thigh as the slack portion of the chain rattled in the background. “I told myself that no one was that unobservant of their surroundings.” A soft chuckle slipped past his lips. “I’ll be damned if you didn’t prove me wrong. Seems like all those nights where my anxiety kept me awake were in vain. You had no clue, did you?” He furrowed his brow, gently chuckling again. “Did you ever think to ask? Did you just assume someone was sending you gifts and that would be that?” You wanted to slap the smirk off his face, maybe leave another scar while you were at it. “Of course I asked.” Since you couldn’t slap him, you tried to add some venom to your voice, hoping it would compensate for your lack of movement. “I spoke to the couriers and the stores. No one knew. They all said the same thing. All the orders had come with the necessary payment by mail via an unmarked envelope.” There had been no indication of where the letters had originated from. The only thing worth noting about them was the simple stationary on which they had come. The paper lacked the ornate embellishment that was associated with the upper class, yet the paper itself was of a high enough quality that you could discern the sender had money. That theory had been further proven based on the gifts he had sent. Everything you had received was from the finest shops in the Court and of the highest quality. They had all cost well above what the average admirer could spend. That had told you that your devotee was at least well to do. Wriothesley, as the Duke of Meropide, was certainly that. “I thought that when my admirer was ready, they might be normal and present themselves properly.” Not have you abducted and brought to the bottom of the sea. “Because that would have gone oh so well.” He tilted his head slightly. “I’m sure that I’m exactly what you were expecting, hm?” He wasn’t. 

You let out a heavy sigh, trying to ignore the obvious. Wriothesley had been the last person you had been expecting. Worse though, was the thought of the Administrator of the Fortress coming to your door for no explicable reason. Even with flowers in hand, the idea was a terrifying one. The Duke of Meropide wasn’t exactly a celebrated figure in the eyes of the citizens of Fontaine. While his rise to prominence certainly made him an enigma, the few that knew what he looked like, tended to avoid him at all costs. To see the Duke or any officers of the law on your street was often a sign that trouble was soon to follow. If you had known that Wriothesley was your admirer or if he had shown himself to be interested in you in a normal way, it was entirely likely that you would have run. Even knowing that you had committed no crimes in the eyes of the law, the risk of having him so close was one you didn’t want to take. The goal of every citizen was to avoid the fortress and all of those associated with it. You weren’t excluded from that. “See the dilemma?” Your first reaction was to fix your eyes to the floor, while you felt the first twinges of embarrassment creep their way up your neck. “Kid- kidnapping isn’t exactly a viable solution.” You raised your eyes to him again, trying to make that sound as harsh as possible. “Neither is this, for the record.” He just laughed. “If we’re adding things to the record, then throwing hot porridge in the administrator's face isn’t exactly the smartest of moves. Neither is disobeying my orders or trying to escape.” You squirmed, stupidly pulling on the chain as your own frustration spiked. “I’ve done nothing wrong!” He laughed again. This time, his laughter echoed off the walls, hurting your ears. 

“You hadn’t done anything wrong.” Until you threw the food in his face, and kicked him, and disobeyed him, and tried to escape. “I don’t think I need to list the crimes for you. I’m sure you’re aware.” Crimes? Your mind whirled at the very mention of the word. It was inconceivable to think that you had done anything wrong.

Fresh tears stung at your eyes as the frustration his words caused you, washed over you. No. It couldn’t be. You were innocent. He had abducted you. He had tricked you. You weren’t his prisoner. “But as the administrator of the fortress, it is at my discretion on how you are punished.” Wriothesley stood to his full height, reaching for something in his pocket. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t have time to deal with that.” He produced a medium sized lock, which was promptly attached to the chain and the d-ring, forcing you to hold your position at his feet. “I have more meetings. I suppose for now-” He mockingly thought about it for a moment. “Your punishment can be that you get to think about how you’re going to make it up to me or maybe, you reconsider your attitude. If not, then perhaps I’ll have to get slightly more strict with you.” From your vantage point, you watched his eyes drift away from you, focusing on something behind you. There was only one thing that could be; the room you’d woken up in, the bed. “Seems cruel to consider.” Your eyes went wide at the thoughts that were running through your head. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. “I’d hate to do it.” Wait. “But maybe I was too nice at the beginning.” No. “Maybe I’ll just leave that with you though.” His focus came back to you. “Based on your expression, you get my meaning. Persist on your current path though-” His tone developed a steely, authoritative hardness to it that you didn’t like. “And perhaps I’ll go against my better judgment and make you earn things like a bed and hot food, at least until I can be assured that you don’t need too. That’s if I can be assured at all.” You blindly shook your head as you realized this man intended to keep you indebted to him for the rest of your life. “No? Well-” There was an odd chuckle that followed that. “Tell you what.” A long pause stretched out between you. He waited, oh so patiently for you to finally look up at him before he opted to continue. “I might be inclined to go easy on you. If you decide you’re ready to behave.” If. It had the same inflection as before, though this one possessed more doubt than its predecessor had “Let’s test the waters. I’ll give you something easy, something simple. I bet you couldn’t take more than that, could you? By now, I’m sure you’re feeling a little drained.” There was a brief moment where you thought to challenge him on that. Drained wasn’t the right word for it. Exhausted maybe? Famished and dehydrated; absolutely. In your mind though, you believed you could take all he threw at you and more, but your cramping stomach and oncoming dizziness told you otherwise. Your body had been taken to its physical limit. It couldn’t handle anything more; not without getting food into you first. “Let’s try… you giving me a smile again. That seems like a simple thing. I’ll even sweeten the deal. Give me a smile and I’ll bring you a little something to eat. I bet you’re pretty starved by now. Some fresh bread or maybe even some fruit, surely that’s enough to get me a smile?” It shouldn’t have been. In any normal circumstance, it wouldn’t have been. Had you been back in the court, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day. But here, in his world, you didn’t have that luxury. Here he could determine every detail of your life, including when you ate next. Considering you had already gone a day, you briefly wondered how cruel he could be. Wriothesley ran both hot and cold. His reactions shifted between the two with frightening regularity. It made him difficult to read in a situation like this, which was why you had to consider your answer carefully. 

There was no winning here, you knew that. Wriothesley had stacked the deck against you long before your kidnapping and arrival. Now he’d dealt you the losing hand he’d prepared for you.  If you refused, would he cave due to his own feelings for you and bring you a meal anyway or would he demand an even higher toll for your next meal? Would he let you starve if you refused to pay that price? How many meals would he allow you to miss before the inevitable happened. How many could you stand to miss before you yourself gave in? Upon further review, a smile was easy. It was simple. It wouldn’t tax your fatigued state any further. You could just give it to him to make him go, but again that carried risk. Once meant always. Always meant forever. There would never be a time where you would be able to refuse him without running the risk of being punished. One frown could send you right back to where you were. “Well?” You didn’t want to. 

“I-“ You drew in a slow steadying breath, trying to calm the emotions that were running through you. At this stage, you wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, you wanted to lunge at him and you wanted to do it, all at once. You couldn’t though. Even if you felt like you were drowning, you couldn’t give in just yet. For now, you had to remain in control. “I hate you.”  Above you, he released an incredulous scoff.

“Believe me, I’m aware.” His nonchalance about this whole thing only served to irritate you further. He was acting as if everything that had happened between you was a normal thing. As if he kidnapped and manhandled and humiliated people everyday.

“So why should I smile at you if I hate you?” You swallowed as your eyes found his again. He towered over you, giving the answer very little thought.

“Because I asked you too.” You hated how his tone sounded almost thoughtful. “Let me be perfectly clear, unless the world is about to end or you are deathly ill, I will be your sole companion here. That means you will rely on me for everything.” And the fruits of that reliance were determined based on how well behaved you were. In his words, you were the master in your own treatment, which meant you decided your own fate. “We can keep on this path, if you like. I can play the mean warden just as easily as I can the affable fellow. It makes no difference to me how we get there, just so long as you understand we will get there in the end. One day those defenses of yours will crumble and that anger you currently feel will give way to something else.” Was he implying you would fall in love with him? “It happens to everyone down here. Some get angry, some are perfectly fine with it.” “I will never be fine with it or this.”  He smirked again, a gentle spark of mirth dancing in his eyes. “We’ll see. I tend to have a pretty good handle on people, especially when it comes to how they’re going to react to certain things. You’re no exception.” His head tilted slightly. “But keep telling yourself whatever you need to keep that fire in you burning.  I’m beginning to find your anger endearing. You’re cute with your face all scrunched up like that.” He chuckled, his smirk growing larger when the sound only served to make you angrier. “Maybe I’ll lock down the pankration ring one day, just so we can spar. It might be fun to turn you loose for a little while, if for no other reason other than to get my hands on you.  But I suppose that depends on one thing?” You let out a heavy breath, grinding your teeth in mild frustration. “What?” “Will you smile or not?”

[residenthughes]

so…what do we think about this dialogue? ☝🏾😭 (i ask at almost 8 am after a night out)

+18 nsfw, so minors dni!

His arm, enveloped by his raven black dress shirt, raises as he cages you in, vulnerable and at his mercy. “What else did I say, since you can read lips and all?”

This is a circus of words, meaning riddled in optical illusions that would have someone think none the wiser. Except this is yours and Jack’s circus, an act tailored for two, entertainment that makes your minds run wild. A wildness you feed off as you meet him with the same decisiveness.

“This number,” you start, pointing towards the digits printed on your sleeve belonging to him. “86 is what people go to see - pay to see, sorry.”

You’re not really sorry, the smirk on your face says otherwise. “I think I said a lot more than that, sweetheart.”

“Besides all the huffing and puffing,” his tongue pokes at his cheek, a playful smirk betraying his flaring emotions. “You asked if he was there to play or to hurt people - fair point to make.”

“And all the others weren’t?” Jack’s moved closer, his thigh situating itself between the gap of your legs.

You bite your tongue at the friction. “You know the answer to that question.”

“Maybe,” his caging arm leaves the door, the web of his hand sat against your chin as he holds your face, maintaining the same fiery gaze that unravels you altogether. “Think it’d be better coming from you though.”

“Jack,” he’s flexed his thigh, your hand reaching for the buttons of his dress shirt as you wane in defeat. “Please.”

“I don’t follow.”

Your bawled fist meets his stacked chest. “Don’t play dumb.”

Jack chuckles, holding all power in the palm of his hand. “I’m just confused as to why my pants are wet.”

To prove his point, he draws his thigh away because he’s a selfish bastard and shows you the damp spot you’ve left after his thigh made its way between your legs. The shame that washes over you is unbearable.

Jack’s hands find themselves underneath the material of his jersey, one hand dancing along the outline of your underwear with a finger hanging over the top of the seam. “Oh, what to do with you.”

He’s such a tease, his ego large and in charge as you’ve long forgotten any sense of game as your eyes pool with only an anguish he can extinguish. “Fuck me, please.”

“Because I was mad?” his tone light and airy, the tip of his index finger now trailing the edges of your underwear.

You shiver at his touch, eyes closed as your weak fist manages to grapple onto some material of his shirt. “Because, I need you and I think that goes both ways.”