#to having it because she's ashamed and feels it's personal

[anghraine]

While I'm in my Star Trek (The Original Series) downspiral, I thought it would be fun to propose a poll of random details mentioned in TOS specifically.

The episodes each factoid comes from:

Kirk the tough teacher -> Where No Man Has Gone Before (S1)

Spock's shame over his feelings for Kirk -> The Naked Time (S1)

The Uhura/Chapel kiss -> What Are Little Girls Made Of (S1)

Kirk refusing to convert to Hellenic(/ancient alien) polytheism because he's a firm monotheist -> Who Mourns for Adonais? (S2)

McCoy honoring the privacy of the hot lady of the week's disability -> Is There In Truth No Beauty? (S3)

Uhura talking about how she's always found it calming to listen to Kirk over the loudspeaker -> Plato's Stepchildren (S3)

The Gorn Did Nothing Wrong -> Arena (S1)

Spock hasn't had a father-son relationship with Sarek for 18 years (or visited his parents for 4) -> Journey to Babel (S2)

Sulu and Chekov don't believe in just following orders -> Turnabout Intruder (S3)

Kirk was a 13-year-old genocide survivor -> The Deadly Years (S2) / The Conscience of the King (S1)

McCoy gets married to the priestess Natira, one of the few female authority figures who is capable and noble and survives and gains full leadership of her people, and Kirk promises to help him visit her periodically -> For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky (S3)

Spock is finally convinced that his thoughts are being influenced by outside forces because he voluntarily ate meat -> All Our Yesterdays (S3)

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: how they behave on the Internet and in correspondence with you🩵

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Thanos (Su Bong) x Reader(f), Gang No Eul x Reader(f), Nam Gyu x Reader(f), Park Gyeong Seok x Reader(f)

Warnings: deviation from the canon, AU without squid game.

A/N: Thank you very much for 300 readers on my channel! I tried very hard to write something interesting for you!

🩵🩵🩵

Cho Hyun Ju

Her avatar on the social network⬇️

How does she behave on the Internet

•The girl doesn't really like to put her photos on her avatar, so she decided to put bouquets of flowers that you give her. She always takes pictures of them as a souvenir.

•Ju is subscribed to groups about cooking, about transgender people, about fashion and groups about your favorite series and shows.

•She has a closed account and not many friends. Of which you, transgender friends, with whom she is very good friends, because common interests and destinies have united them.

How does she behave in your correspondence

•She likes to send you good morning pictures in the morning or just cute images of animals, flowers, nature.

•When you are both at work, she tries to write to you every free minute, and you immediately try to answer her.

•She still can't learn how to send you voice messages, so she writes everything manually!

•Hyun Ju writes you a lot about love, even at a distance you should feel that she loves you very much and takes care of you.

•The girl likes to send cute emojis in every message. Even if they are not quite appropriate, she will still do it! That's how she tries to convey all her emotionality.

«Baby, how are you? How are things at work? Didn't you forget to have lunch? 😊 I miss you a lot!! 😭😭😭 I'm waiting for the evening to enjoy you as soon as possible!! ❤️❤️❤️ I love you very much!!! ❤️❤️❤️»

«I got off work early!! 🥳🥳🥳 I'll go to the store now, tell me, do you need to buy something there? ☺️ I can also pick you up after work! ❤️»

«It's only been an hour since we parted, but I miss you already!!! 😭😭😭😭»

«Baby, maybe we can call at lunch??? I miss you a lot!! ❤️❤️❤️ or should we go to a cafe and have lunch together?? 😊😊😊»

Thanos (Su Bong)

His avatar on the social network⬇️

How he behaves on the Internet

•The guy has a lot of photos in his profile: photos from his concert, clubs, with friends, ordinary selfies, photos with you. But he always puts on the avatar only those photos that you personally took. You are a personal photographer for him. This is how he expresses his love.

•Su Bong is subscribed to groups about music, clubs, and some of his fan groups.

•He has an open profile, but not many friends. He adds only loved ones: you, his close friends, work colleagues. Because of all this, he has a lot of subscribers, as fans want to be his friends.

How he behaves in your correspondence

•He likes to send you his funny photos, especially when you are far away from him.

•Su tries to write to you every free minute, because he is ashamed that he spends more time in the studio.

•He is also a fan of flirting even in correspondence, which will soon grow into a much vulgar one.

«Now I'm sitting in the studio, but I could lie in bed with you and do something more interesting😏»

«Fuck, I'm going to be late today. And I miss you so much, baby. If you want, come to my studio, we'll be all alone»

«Nam invites you and me to his club for a party, I'll go if you agree to join. He said he was really waiting for us»

«Fuck, baby, I miss you!»

Gang No Eul

Her avatar on social networks⬇️

How does she behave on the Internet

•The girl doesn’t have her profile photos, as she registered for you.

•But then she decided to put a photo on her avatar, which you took quietly. She seemed very cute and decided to put it on. All for you. ⬇️

•She is not subscribed to any groups, she does not have time to read what they write there.

•Since No Eul registered only for you, her profile is closed, and you are the only friend. She doesn't need anyone else.

How does she behave in your correspondence

•The girl is very worried about you, so she often asks about your condition, it happens when you are both at work, or only her.

•She doesn't really know how to express her love, it manifests itself not only in life, but also in correspondence. So don't be offended by her, she tries very hard, but everything goes gradually!!

•Since she does not know how to show her feelings strongly, the girl puts ❤️ in almost every message so that you at least feel that she loves you very much.

•No Eul also tries to write to you every free minute, because she can't even pick up the phone while working.

•She also puts dots after each sentence, but this does not mean that she is offended, but simply observes punctuation.

«How are you? How do you feel? I finally have a break and I was able to write to you. ❤️»

«After work, I'll pick you up, because it's very late and all kinds of terrible men walk around.»

«I'll be back late. Go to bed without me. I'm sorry it happened that way. ❤️»

«Maybe we can have lunch together? I want to spend more time with you. ❤️»

Nam Gyu

His avatar on the social network⬇️

How he behaves on the Internet

•The guy has a lot of photos in his profile, especially those related to cats. He also has photos from the club, with friends, ordinary photos and joint photos with you. And since he loves cats, he photoshops the cat's ears and muzzle and puts it on his avatar for the sake of a joke.

•Gyu is subscribed to bands about music, cats, about his club, as well as fan groups about his friend Thanos.

•He has an open profile and a lot of friends. Unlike Thanos, he adds absolutely everyone, as he is a very friendly person.

How he behaves in your correspondence

•He sends you a lot of meme pictures with cats, well, he loves them very much.

•Uses both light flirting and more vulgar. Especially when you haven't seen him for a long time because of work.

•Nam likes to send you emojis with hearts, so he expresses his love for you.

•A guy can sometimes write with mistakes, and also not follow the punctuation. As he likes to say: I write as I feel.

«Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? 😏❤️»

«Kitten come to my club I'm bored😭😭😭😭»

«Thanos said he was better than me! 😡 I told him no because I have such a cool girl like you❤️»

«Meow-meow I'm bored maybe we'll call? Or are you busy now?»

Park Gyeong Seok

His avatar on the social network⬇️

P.S. I wanted to take another photo where I can add you, but I didn't find anything like it, so I took this one. But let's imagine that he has a photo on his avatar where all three of you are standing.

How he behaves on the Internet

•He publishes photos with his daughter and with you, sometimes only Na Yeon photos, rarely his photos.

•The man is subscribed to groups about art and psychology.

•He has a closed profile and few people. You and his closest friends are among friends.

How he behaves in your correspondence

•He writes you big messages about his love, because he wants to cheer you up for the whole day.

•Also, a man is very worried about you and his daughter, so he almost always asks about your well-being.

•He likes to send you photos of nature that he took while in the park, he also likes to take pictures of his paintings.

•Gyeong likes to send you laughing emojis, we don't forget that he is much older than you, so you don't always understand his jokes, and his emojis sometimes annoy you, but you don't confess to him because you don't want to offend.

«How are you there? What do you do? Na Yeon is not capricious?»

«I love you very much. ❤️»

«I'll try to finish the work earlier and then the three of us can go for a walk in the park and eat ice cream.»

«There's such a funny situation here! A dog is barking at the package near me, it probably thinks it's a monster. 🤣🤣🤣🤣»

🩵🩵🩵

[lesbianmarrow]

xander hates him because he's a man who hurts people and to xander that's the absolute worst thing you could be. giles hates him because he revels in being reckless and ruled by passion and giles who used to behave that way too and is so ashamed of it now is repulsed not only by spike's behavior but his shamelessness around it. tara feels contempt for him because the way he pines for buffy and lets buffy disrespect him just so he can be close to her is too similar to how tara might have behaved with willow if she had had less self-respect so she has to mock him in order to avoid facing that uncomfortable truth. willow tolerates spike when he is useful and ignores him when he's not because willow believes a person's worth lies in their utility (which is something spike also begins to believe is true of himself). anya initially is drawn to him because his loneliness reminds her of herself and later she's put off by him for the same reason. we all know what it looks like when buffy projects her own self-loathing onto spike because the show points it out explicitly again and again in season 6. and spike, spike is just sitting there

spike will literally just be sitting there and everybody will come up to him and project their own self-loathing onto him and beat him up for it. like he literally is just a mirror for how other people see themselves and then they BEAT HIM UP for it even if all he was doing was just sitting there

[imsofreakingtired]

Can we PLEASE get an angsty sevika!Xreader headcannon for reader who is a removing shimmer addict and is struggling with cravingssss

omg i love that. also, sorry this took a while, couldn't figure out a way with a hc list so i wrote it as a drabble instead 😭

hold me, console me

content warning(s): depictions of addiction and withdrawal

"come on, don't leave me, it can't be that easy babe if you believe me, i guess i'll get on a plane fly to your city, excited to see your face hold me, console me, and then i'll leave without a trace"

~~~

“Sevika,” you groan, “I’m going to die.” 

“I hope not.”

She walks into the room, twisting off her prosthetic arm. This is a good sign. It means she is ready to settle down with you, that she doesn’t have any plans of leaving again for a while. 

Sevika sits down on the side of the bed where you’re lying with your knees curled against your chest, trying to breathe through wave after wave of pain. She places her warm hand on your thigh and straightens your leg. Her voice is soft. “Stretch, baby. It’ll get easier.” 

What they didn’t tell you about coming off Shimmer: the muscle spasms. The blinding headaches. Your body can’t adjust to the sudden drop in energy after such intense and constant enhancement of the senses. It is recoiling at normality. It is punishing itself for ever getting hooked in the first place. 

You can deal with the physical symptoms, though. You’ve been through some shit. You’re tough enough to handle a little pain. What you can’t stand are the cravings, the nightmares, the paranoia. You wake up several times a night in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably after some terrifying, nonsensical dream. You break down at the most inconvenient times, convinced that Sevika has finally gotten sick of you, that she’s leaving you, that she’s already gone. On really bad days you’re ready to kill for just one shot, one tiny vial, just to take the edge off. You crave the kick, the rush of heat in your head, the burst of energy. The feeling that you can do anything. Even as it killed you slowly, even as you felt the aftereffects eroding your body. You know in the back of your mind that the decision to quit has saved your life. But gods, was it hard to stay off it. 

Sevika watches your face with gentle eyes as she massages your legs. Her big hand, rough with calluses, powerful and tender. She is strong even without Shimmer. When you were using it, you felt almost like you deserved her, that you belonged to her—that you could repay her even a little for what she did for you. 

Now you look up at her and wonder what she sees first—the traces of Shimmer, the faded pink veins lining your skin? The desperation in your eyes? The way your limbs lie, depleted and scarred from the past use of the substance? 

“Sevika,” you say.

“Hmm.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Me when I was on it.” You shift on the bed, your head feeling heavy. “You know…you know how I fucked like you never saw before when I was on it.” You mean it to be a joke, but you can’t bring yourself to smile. This is your fear: that she met you when you weren’t quite yourself, that she’s disappointed in the person you actually turned out to be. 

She’s quiet for a moment. Then she asks in a low voice, “do you think I was with you because of the way Shimmer made you in bed?”

“I’m useless now,” you say. You feel the tears burning behind your eyes, and you’re ashamed of the way your voice falters. “I can’t even lift a full crate of bottles.” 

Sevika moves closer to you. You push yourself away, not because you don’t want her to touch you, but because you don’t want her pity. You dread some words of nonsense flattery, empty reassurance. You don’t want her to lie to you, then turn her back, the way countless others have done before. It was part of the reason why you started using Shimmer in the first place—so you could feel, for once in your life, that you were powerful—someone people wanted to stay for. 

She doesn’t say anything of the sort, though. You’re lying on your side now, back turned to her so you can’t see her face. 

She says, “get over here, idiot.” 

You turn your head. She lies down beside you, aligning her body close against yours. The heat of her skin feels good against your aching back. She wraps her right arm over your waist, pulling you close to her. 

Into your shoulder she murmurs, “you’re not useless.” 

The tears gather in your eyes and you can’t stop them from falling into the bedsheets. 

“It’ll get easier,” she says again. She brushes your hair away, kisses your neck. “And I’m always gonna want you.” 

“How did you do it?” you whisper. “It must have been so much worse for you.” 

“Baby, does this body look like it’s built the same way as yours?” 

You laugh weakly. 

“It was hell,” Sevika says. “So I get it.” 

You reach for her hand and hold it close to your heart. “It’s still beating, right?” You ask. 

“Yes, thank god.” 

“You’re not leaving, right?” 

“No, fool. Get some rest.” 

You let your eyes close. Your breathing grows even. Sevika is not a woman of many words, but you know that when she makes a promise she will keep it.

~~~

thank you @prettyinpink69 for the req :)

[staryscorner]

When they see that you've been Sh

Warning: Mention of blood and self h@rm/cvtt!ng

Characters: Gyeong seok, Jung bae, Jun ho, The Salesman, Sae byeok- 

Pt1 | Pt2

Gyeong seok- 

Since moving in with Gyeong seok life has gotten a bit tougher for you; having way more responsibilities than what you’re used to, especially now since you have a cute step daughter who you love with all your heart, but it was something completely new and you thought you were doing a bad job. So to relieve some of the worries you began to sh. The pain washed the worries away. Then one day when you were playing with Na-Yeon your sleeves went up a bit and she had notices come red marks on your skin.

“Mama what’s that?” she said pointing at your arms.

You put your hands behind your back 

“It's nothing sweetheart I just got a little boo boo just dont tell daddy ok?”

She just nodded and continued to play with her toys.

The next day it was Gyeong seok’s turn to take Na-Yeon to school. 

While he was in a small conversation with her a cat appeared in front of her and she began to pet it and said.

“Papa, Mama said to keep this a secret but imma tell you. She had red marks on her arms. It looked like a kitty gave her a boo boo.

After hearing those words Gyeong seok knew that something was wrong. After dropping his daughter off he ran home to see if what he thought was true.

You were cooking dinner and suddenly someone barged into the front door.

“Let me see your arms”

“Why do you need to see my arms”

“Just show them to me.” He said in a stern voice.

You had no other choice but to show him

“Why are you doing this!?”

“Well I thought you might not want to be with me anymore if I was a bad mother so to cope I began to do this” You said almost whispering

“Why would I ever leave you for that reason? I married you for a reason because you're perfect in my eyes. I'm also learning to be a father and loving husband everyday so don't think you're going through all of this alone.” He said as he held you in a long embrace.

You were in his arms crying like a baby 

“I love you” He whispered in your ear

“I love you too”

Jung bae- 

Although he’s always bubbly there's a serious side that would show at times and that time was now. He accidentally came into to the room as you were getting dressed and saw your bruised body 

“Y/N! WHO HIT YOU”

You looked at him standing at the door and realized that you forgot to lock it. He came in and sat next to you as he asked to see the bruises on your body.

“I did this to myself” you looked down feeling ashamed of saying it out loud.

He looked at you the brave person he had met was now a shell of their former self

“I want to help you so please don't do this to yourself because when you hurt yourself you hurt me as well.

He then helped you finish getting dressed and soon made you dinner before you both cuddled to sleep.

Jun ho- 

He knew something was wrong (he’s literally a cop) so when you started to wear long baggy shirts he had to find out what was going on.

So he asked you one day out of nowhere if you wanted to go on a vacation. He never told you where but he did say it would be a surprise. So after the long car ride you woke to the smell of the ocean and the sun beaming on you. You used to love the beach but now It was your worst fear.

He led you to the beach house that his family owned and after bringing all the louage in it was finally time to head to the beach. As he was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom he wondered if he was maybe overthinking things. When he heard the door creak you still had a baggy shirt over your bathing suit.

“Aren't you going to go into the water?” 

“Well um maybe not this time.” you said

“But you love going into the beach just take you have your bathing suit under right so just take it off”

As he was playfully lifting up your shirt he saw multiple cuts on from your stomach to your chest. You quickly pulled it down and just looked down.

“Is that the reason why you didn't want to go in… Babe, why didn't you tell me sooner.”

“Well…. because you have work and you seem to be busy”

“But I always have time for you. You mean everything to me and I want you to rely on me.”

“How about we get those bandaged up and later we can go out and have a dinner date near the beach.” He said wanting to make it up to you.

“I’d love that” You said giving him a kiss”

The Salesman- 

He loves to see the blood of his enemies fall, but not you he cares so much for you. He noticed that there would be blood drops on the bathroom floor which made him install hidden cameras in the house. When he would go back to check them he would see you enter the bathroom and come out after a few minutes with bandages all over your legs and arms. 

So on the day’s that you're not home he looks all over the house finding all the hidden blades and would slowly start removing them one by one until there was none. He even removed anything else that could be used. He even came home sooner so he could keep you company in the evening.

“What are you doing so early here”

“I just wanted to spend more time with you honey~” 

Without you realizing it you had stopped and it was now a thing of the past.

Sae byeok- 

She took it the hardest. Having someone that she loved dearly being in pain hurt her so much.

When she first saw the cuts and scars on your body she was mad, not at you but at herself for not knowing sooner. 

“I’m so sorry babe, how can I even call myself your girlfriend if I can't even protect you”

She kept apologizing non stop. You didn't want to see her like this. She was such a fearless woman and she was blaming herself for something that you did to yourself, it felt like a dagger to the heart.

You kneeled down and cupped her face with your hands

“Hey! Please don't blame yourself for this.”

After saying that you got up and went to your shared bedroom and grabbed all the blades and brought them to where she is and you just threw them straight into the trash can. I don't want you to suffer for something that I did so please stop apologizing.”

You then went down and kissed her forehead. “I promise I'll stop this…for you.”

Hear is pt2!!! =^▿^= If you have any other characters you guys want please suggest them!! :3

[lukeynewtssimp]

When Nic is out and about with her bf all I see from Lukolas is pure hate and disdain for them both. It’s only now that the man brought out his gf that suddenly everyone is okay with it. Does that seem like equal treatment to you? Where was your defense before this?

You’re happy and proud of him for finally claiming her but where is the happiness for Nic? I’m still talking about Lukolas in general.

Do you not see the people saying he’s finally with someone well matched with him? And when people said the same hateful things after premiere night because of that stunt where was the support for Nic? You think his choices didn’t affect her, whether it was intentional or not?

This side of the fandom is extremely male-centered and you just don’t want to admit it. I am still very much hoping to be proved wrong in the future.

Wow okay there is a lot to unpack here.

Let me start by saying that my blog is very new. I only started posting like a month or so ago so excuse me for my lack of defence back when Nic apparently “needed” it.

Neither of them “need” anybody to defend them lol. We don’t get brownie points for proving we are their number one fan. They literally have no fucking clue who I am and don’t care to find out either. I just use my platform to express my love for the people I am a fan of and the things I am passionate about and to express my frustration at things and behaviours that annoy me. That’s the point of having a personal blog.

idk how to make it any clearer. Like it’s literally in my username, yea I am a fan of Nicola too but I’m a bigger fan of Luke. We all have our faves so I don’t get why you’re so angry that Luke is mine.

Yes I see the very small number of people making comments like that about Antonia looking good next to Luke or whatever. I choose to ignore it because I have seen a very small number of these comments and me talking about it would only amplify these pathetic people’s voices. I obviously do not agree with this take. It is rooted in fatphobia and those people can say whatever they want but they do not speak for Luke or Nic.

Nic is not some self conscious young girl waiting for a man to notice how beautiful she is. The fact that you think Luke’s decisions about who he’s dating affected her, then you’re the problem. You’re the one painting Nicola as this desperate girl crying for attention. Nic is a confident and very sexy woman and she fucking owns it and knows it. She literally ruled 2024 and has gained so much popularity last year as she deserves. And you know what? Luke knows it too and that man, unlike what you and other people think, is not and was never ashamed to show that he’s attracted to her and finds her beautiful and sexy and smart and talented. He’s not the most talkative when it comes to that stuff, that man literally blushes at everything. But his actions speak louder than his words. Just because he is dating a woman who doesn’t look like Nic does not mean he does not find Nic attractive and it also does not mean he rejected Nic by doing so.

As @jenhack beautifully put in the comments: Nic is not bothered! She is busy talking to other SAG nominees and being lauded by her peers. She does not need to, or have to be defined by any man she is connected with.

Crazy Lukolas do not only hate on Jake and Nic but they also hate on Luke and Antonia. Have you seen all the nasty stuff they have called this poor girl?

Sorry this has been very long but I just need everybody to stop projecting their hurt feelings and traumas on Nicola and Luke PLEASE!

PS: the “you” is not just aimed at you specifically anon, but everybody who agrees with that discourse of Luke hurting Nic by dating another woman and taking her to the premieres that I am tired of hearing about. And let’s not forget Nic took Jake to that premiere too…

[girl-lostconnection]

hallo love your work it's so delicious. I also love how you show emotions. I wanted to tickle your brain for a sec if you don't mind (no pressure). What would happen in your AUs (like the acceleration au) if the reader was more um- violate like when simon decides oh this stranger yep he's going in the bed with us, (even if mind you she was chill about the strange man before if a bit hurt) she gets stern and simply tells him to get out of her house. That if he wants to bring his soldier fine- but that is not her problem that is her home her life. Also I saw you had a fic of gaz with what was basically a gym rat reader and omggggg it's so muahhh. I love strong reader.

Finally got to your ask, anon. So I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days now.

I think the reason why Reader doesn’t outright put her foot down or why nothing too rash actually happens from ANY side of their throuple is from how slow it all burns. The temperature is going up degree by degree, so the frog doesn’t jump out of the pot.

Now, if Simon tried to ram his way through her stating clearly and plainly that she’s uncomfortable with something, than yes, it would be a recipe for a disaster.

But yk the AU works only because these guys listen to each other. Simon knows Reader and Reader knows Simon and Johnny knows Simon and Simon knows Johnny and Johnny tries to know Reader.

The AU works because they try to get attuned to each other and not because one or all of them try to forcefully slot themselves into each other’s lives.

I get where your question is coming from, I’m just explaining my thought process behind the structure of their relationship.

So their relationship however strange it may seem works because they are adults that while have some unhealthy attachments or coping mechanisms are still capable of processing their own emotions and giving each other space.

I know that I don’t go into too much of a detail exactly how it works/feels/goes between them but for me personally that’s part of it. In life for me oftentimes relationships can get complicated and sometimes you do in fact realise that the person you called best friend for years is actually the person you love.

Also, sometimes when coming from a not very fortunate or healthy family you may not know how different types of love feel like. You have no model to take example from so yeah, sometimes it’s a lot of stumbling around and nuzzling into people and taking time a shit ton of time to figure it all out.

And while I get that Simon may seem really annoying to some people, for me he’s actually really endearing because in this AU I understand him perfectly. He’s a man, he has some issues he never worked through, he dislikes conflicts and tries to avoid them, he takes the coward’s way out because he hopes maybe things will fall into place on their own.

And I understand Reader because she loved him all her life, she never said it, she always dreamed about the life that she wasn’t brave enough to live, she’s really jealous that Soap was brave enough to do what she didn’t, she feels ashamed that she’s jealous, she made mistakes, she hates that she did, she is difficult and isn’t sure she’s worth this much trouble. It’s okay, she is. You are. All the trouble and effort.

All worth it.

And I understand Soap. I think I understand him the best out of them all. He’s jealous, he’s used to work himself to the bone, he’s incredible aware, he’s insecure, he’s feeling like he could be left behind (he wouldn’t be), he likes Simon, he likes Reader, he has different needs than Simon or Reader have and he’s not sure how to voice them. He’s there but is he really present? Is he wanted? Is he needed? Is he loved? He isn’t sure. He doesn’t know whether he should ask.

So the thing is that they are all difficult and complicated and multidimensional and honestly, I love the three of them so so much.

Even if they stress you, guys, out sometimes

[emilylawsons]

@xenobean Your wish is my command…

(This will have a few spoilery things from S1 and S2 but none from S3.)

So let’s start with the setting and surface theme: journalism and news media. Anyone who works in that field faces questions of integrity every single day. Good journalists seek the truth. They ask questions. But sometimes the truth—or one person’s integrity—threatens to expose someone else’s lack thereof. We see it all the time in what the characters face each episode. Noelene gets fired for a day because she accidentally pulls a fabricated quote that her own bosses didn’t bother to check her on. Helen is constantly searching for stories that shed light on issues no one else will talk about, and in season 2 Dale is combative to that because he’s looking to save face and maintain his station which her convictions threaten. One of Helen’s most crucial moments comes because she has to choose between her integrity and her job.

Their professional world alone is meant to be built on truth and exposing the truth.

Then we get our characters.

Helen tries to hide her mental illness, at least from the public. And herself. She panics when her past stint in a mental institution is threatened to come to light. She runs away and tries to hide her episodes but isn’t quite so successful—but she’ll still attempt to lie. (“I accidentally took too many pills,” “I think I was really dehydrated.”) And we see how her running from her mental illness rather than facing it head on or seeking help does more harm than good. And she constantly has reminders of the stigma of mental illness shoved in her face. She has people around her—namely men—screaming at her and not taking her seriously, and it just fuels her reactive anger. Which makes her impossible to deal with to most people. Except Dale, who becomes the only safe person she knows. But even he can’t always understand, especially when her struggles threaten his image.

Dale, meanwhile, has run from his bisexuality since he was a teenager. Didn’t even have the language for it. He was shamed, wrongfully punished, made to feel like a pervert. As a result, he’s kept his true feelings to himself. He’s leaned into what everyone else wants from him. Helen is probably the first person to know the whole truth and still love him as deeply as she does, but the way in which she finds out is at the cost of an indiscretion to their relationship. She feels betrayed not because he has that attraction to men, but because he kissed someone else—he entertained being with someone else while they were together—and still doesn’t quite trust that he won’t leave her. So how he is supposed to feel anything other than ashamed? How is he supposed to respond other than to hide in his career and the one place he seems to be successful, accepted, and admired? No one can know he has these feelings or these thoughts. No one can know the real him. Because they would be appalled—or that’s what he’s had reinforced in his mind.

Both of them, in their shame, fall apart despite the fact that they’re the only two people who literally only see each other and love each other regardless.

Then we’re introduced to Kay Walters, who’s spent her entire life having to live up to her parents’ public image. Who fell to addiction because of the pressure. Because she never felt good enough in the eyes of the two people in this world who should have loved her unconditionally, without question. And when she comes back and Geoff and Evelyn find out what state she’s in, they’re forced to face their own failure. Their own neglect of what’s important. Because they, themselves, are so full of shame at the idea of looking even just a little less than perfect. And when they face the fact that she needs help, there’s shame on their part because their daughter is in rehab—which is just as shameful to her. It takes that come to Jesus moment to get them to reexamine themselves.

And without giving anything away about the final season, we watch the fallout from this shame and how Helen and Dale specifically must confront it. And throughout the entire series, it’s the people who refuse to be ashamed of themselves that seem to be the happiest—Gerry and Carla, for instance. Or Tim. Or Linus. And I’d love to dig more into how we see this play out for Helen and Dale these last six episodes, but I’ll leave it there since everyone is still watching.

So, yeah. That’s the point. And I adore this show for everything it is. ❤️

Anyway the thesis of The Newsreader is that embracing the truth and everything real that you are is always going to be better than hiding in shame in this essay I will—

[commsroom]

I hope you’re doing well with the storm. I wanted to ask about your thoughts about the Hephaestus crew and getting tattoos. (Mostly because I was getting a tattoo and thought “i feel like Eiffel wouldn’t be able to handle the pain of a tattoo… I should ask commsroom for her thoughts on this” lol)

oh, congrats on the tattoo!! what'd you get?

i'm definitely with you about eiffel; he's got low pain tolerance and isn't exactly patient. i think he's the most likely of them to want to get a tattoo just because he finds it cool / for no particular reason, but he would wimp out at the process, and he wouldn't spend the money required for a good one. i wouldn't be surprised if he's got a bad tattoo he doesn't remember getting (but he definitely remembers dealing with the infection afterwards) though, and / or a weird squiggly line somewhere from a time he insisted a friend of his should give him a tattoo and then he flinched and yelped and generally made it impossible to actually tattoo him.

i think minkowski would get a tattoo, but it'd be something she finds tasteful, small and easily concealed, that she considers a private reminder of something important to her.

lovelace probably has a couple of tattoos - at least one that she got socially, maybe she went to get tattoos as a bonding experience with some of her friends from the air force, and i could see her getting one as a memorial for her crew.

hera... i've been going back and forth on. she seems like a person who would need a tattoo to be meaningful in some way, but i don't know if she'd ever settle on something and actually get one (assuming she even could, of course.) i've been thinking that, if hera got a body, the relative permanence of physical changes would probably freak her out for a while (she would have such a bad time the first time she got a haircut she didn't like) and i think she'd be extra sensitive to physical sensations; it's all new to her.

[devilsskettle]

i’ve seen + heard people say that they thought norman bates was creepy from the beginning of the movie but that’s not my interpretation at all, i think now that that everyone knows the plot of psycho as pop culture trivia, it’s impossible to watch psycho the way it was meant to be seen (hitchcock basically changed how movies were shown in theaters so that audiences would see the whole movie from beginning to end and wouldn’t see the plot twist first, for the sake of suspense! now there’s not the same kind of suspense because every single person in the audience knows who the killer is). i think there’s clear foreshadowing and the whole vibe of the motel is creepy, but norman himself, while a bit awkward, i think comes across as endearing and kind but extremely lonely. obviously as certain things are revealed, he gets creepier, but imo the truly bad thing that he does consciously is cover up his “mother’s” crimes but ofc he has to try to protect her. none of what happens in the movie is premeditated or malicious or even intentional on his part. he’s not even a good liar. idk i really think you’re supposed to see his narrative alignment with marion and feel sympathy for how completely trapped he is in his life, while also being scared of him, at first as someone potentially predatory, then as an accomplice to murder, then as a murderer himself. but not until AFTER his conversation with marion!!

[to-be-a-dreamer]

And if I make a full post talking about how Abby, Shannon, and Taylor were actually really interesting and compelling characters that were just wildly mishandled by the writers and weren't allowed to fully explore their own motivations or personalities outside of being a love interest then what?

This is a threat.

[genderqueerpond]

amyeleven fivenyssa crossover

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.

It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????

[cerealbishh]

"I feel like God's having a good laugh because I thought I was gonna get out of Wabang."

[h3rmitsunited]

I was going back through my old school stuff from like 1st grade and there was this like journal where we had to write like a couple sentences each day to practice writing and stuff and i had this one day where part of what I wrote was "I hate myself today because I had to change my card to yellow" (the cards were like discipline things so you started with green and if you weren't being good you had to stand up and go to the front of the class to change your card) and I don't remember what it was for but I'm sure I was just like maybe talking or something like that.

But like damn. Even just thinking about the times I had to change my cards in those classes makes me want to cry. I remember always being so upset anytime the teachers weren't happy with me and then I think about me now and how I'm always expecting people to think the worst of me or be hiding that they don't like me or always expecting the other shoe to drop even if they've been telling me I'm doing a good job because I'm bad and I need them to just tell me why and what exactly they're holding back

And I've got a review coming up at work soon with my bosses since it's almost my 6 year anniversary of working there and all I can think is oh good now they can stop telling me how great I am and how happy they are to have me there and just tell me everything I'm doing wrong because I know the compliments aren't right and they have to have been holding back what all my issues are.

And I think something in my upbringing may have kind of fucked my head up... just a little bit

[elvain]

tired of always feeling guilty bc i get good grades but my peers do not get the ones they wanted and therefore start throwing tantrums... what do you want me to do about it bruv get a grip youre 30