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potatoplace · 6 months ago

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I Don't Feel Alive

The Afterthought: Chapter 4 | series masterlist

ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader

part 3 | part 5 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: Starfall means dress shopping, and dress shopping means spending time with Nesta and Elain... the celebration is its own set of challenges that you struggle with.

Warnings: Body shaming, toxic family, slight disordered eating, suicidal ideation, self-deprecating thoughts (let me know if I missed anything)

Words: ~9.2k

Author's Note: it's heeeere I didn't get quite as far into the story as I wanted, but this was a good cut off point too. I really hope you guys like this one! I don't think I made it quite angsty enough, but there's still some. Plus a lil fluff to start. Enjoy! p.s. let me know who you think Y/N will end up with! Or anything else you have to say 🫶

18+ only pls

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

Your dreams were soft and fuzzy, filled with hazy scenes of you laying in bed and cuddling with your sisters, just like you had every night so long ago.

Waking felt similar, your body cocooned by soft blankets and warm arms, your own wrapped around someone's torso. You took a deep breath before opening your eyes, blinking them a few times to adjust to the sunlight filtering in through the curtains.

Mor's face was laying on the pillow in front of you, still relaxed with sleep. She looked even prettier like this, without stress and her busy schedule hanging over her.

You slowly unwrapped your arms from around her, taking care to not wake her. She deserved the extra sleep, with how much time she was going to be spending in the Hewn City through the end of the year.

You rolled onto your back, Mor's arms tightening around you as you did. It felt nice, being held again. In the past two years, you had forgotten how lovely it was to wake up feeling safe, snuggled up with your sisters.

The sound of Mor's soft, even breaths nearly lulled you asleep, before your eyes flew open.

Shoot! You had forgotten Nuala and Cerridwen's Solstice presents...

Mor's arms were gently pried from your body, which was harder to do than you had anticipated, but you managed without waking her.

You pulled on a dressing gown and quietly grabbed the two bags containing their presents. Your bedroom door snicked shut behind you, and you padded down the hallway, down the stairs, and to their bedroom. One knock had the door swinging open, this time greeted by Cerridwen.

"Y/N? Did you need something?" The wraith asked, her eyes widening slightly when she saw the presents in your hand. "Oh, you didn't have to do that, Y/N," she said, letting you into their room.

"But I wanted to, both of you have been so wonderful to me. And I already got them for you, so you have to open them," you insisted, placing each bag in their new owner's hands.

Nuala shook her head but opened her present anyways, a wide smile overtaking her face. "This is wonderful Y/N! Oh and you even got me metal threads, how did you know?!" The wraith embraced you tightly in her arms.

"And you remembered me complaining about my needles, oh mother, Y/N, you are the most thoughtful person!" Cerrdiwen exclaimed, stealing you from her sister's arms. "You will be the first person I make something for," she said after she loosened her hold on you.

"You don't need to do that..."

Cerridwen looked at you sharply. "Yes I do, and I will. Would you prefer a hat or scarf first? Oh, I'll just make you both," she finished, not giving you time to answer.

"Thank you in advance, I suppose," you said, blush dusting your cheeks. "I'm glad both of you liked your gifts."

"Of course we do! You pay so much attention to what you buy for people, it's so sweet," Nuala said kindly.

A heavier blush rose to your cheeks at their sweet words. "I just like to make people happy. Speaking of which, I should get back to Mor-"

"Back to me? But I'm right here!" Mor said brightly from behind you, causing you to jump in shock. "Sorry, Y/N, did I scare you?" Mor's arms wrapped around you from behind. "You left me, so I came down to find you. Want to do breakfast before everyone returns?"

You nodded in agreement, but turned your eyes to the twins. "Do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to," Nuala said, and Cerridwen nodded her head before replying the same.

"Girls' breakfast! Let's go!" Mor exclaimed, pulling you out of the twins' room, down the hall, and into the kitchen.

The twins trailed behind at a less excited pace, and met the two of you in the kitchen as Mor was pulling food out of the cold box. Bacon, sausages, eggs, broccoli, and cheese were taken out, and the four of you began making breakfast- most likely too much food for the four of you, but Mor insisted that once Cassian had returned he would eat any food that was left over.

You provided the tea, rushing upstairs to pick out an orange and ginger tea.

Breakfast with the three of them was lovely, only kind words and soft smiles being exchanged between you. It was much more peaceful than most of the meals you had taken at the dining table, and for that you were grateful.

Your sisters, their mates, and Azriel returned while the four of you were still gathered round the table, talking over the last of the second pot of tea you'd made.

"Good morning, ladies," Rhys said as he slipped into one of the chairs, pulling a glowing Feyre into his lap a moment later. "Did you have a good breakfast?"

You nodded in response, but it was Mor who spoke. "Yes, in a team effort we made far too much food. What about you lot?"

"It was good, but there wasn't enough," Cassian complained as he sat down, plucking a piece of bacon off of a plate. You smiled at his antics, you'd always found it funny how the male never seemed to be truly full.

"There's never enough for you, Cass," Nesta said as she took the seat next to him- directly across from you- and glared hard enough at you that the small smile on your face fell off in an instant.

"That's true, even though he devoured all of the sweets you gave him, Y/N, he was asking for more the moment they were gone," Lucien laughed as he did the same as Rhys, pulling Elain into his lap in the chair next to yours.

Fear clutched at your heart, though you knew it shouldn't. But the thought of Cassian enjoying the sweets you had made so much that he asked for more... You were scared of how Nesta might retaliate this time.

You tried to keep your breathing even as the conversation passed from one ear to the other, no words registering as they spoke.

"Y/N?" Feyre's soft voice broke through, pulling you out of your worried heart and back into the moment. "You're still up to go dress shopping with us tomorrow, right?"

Your eyes flicked up to her, then to her mate behind her who had a stern look on his face. You forced your eyes back to her slightly worried ones, focusing on the gentle blue that you'd known your whole life. "Uhm... Yes, I am," you managed to respond once you had played the question over in your head.

"Good! We were all thinking that noon would be a fine time to leave, that way the three of us can sleep in a bit after the revel tonight. Does that sound good to you?"

You could feel Nesta's burning gaze and Elain's judgemental eyes on you, stoking the fire of your fear.

"That sounds fine to me, Feyre," you replied, fingers working nervously over the painted irises on your teacup, focusing on the tiny ridges that the paint had created, your gaze now trained on them.

Better than seeing the hatred in Nesta's eyes.

"Perfect! Now that that's settled, I think we should all get to perfecting the revel for tonight," Feyre said, causing movement from all around the table.

Except you.

You sat, staring at your teacup until everyone was gone, disappeared off to their rooms or offices, or wherever they needed to be.

That left you to clear the plates, quickly washing the dishes and leaving them to dry in the rack. Your teapot was dried by hand, and filled with tea leaves and hot water once more. Thankfully you were able to retreat to your room without question, letting you escape back into your fantasy world you had created in your mind. Away from Nesta and Elain's combined ire, combined disdain for your very existence.

The lovely jasmine tea Azriel had gifted you helped you forget where you were, nearly convincing yourself you were back in the human lands, sipping tea in the living room with your father as you watched snow fall and bury that tiny little shack, falling asleep to the thought of it in your arm chair.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

The next morning, you forced yourself from the arm chair, stretching out your neck as you did.

Somehow, it was less comfortable than sleeping in the bathtub.

Your soreness abated as you slid into steaming water, bubbling with rose scented soap- something that you were absolutely delighted by, loving that no matter what, your body was completely covered by bubbles. You hardly caught sight of your skin at all, though you knew with the day's plans, you would be forced to confront how your body had changed.

You could feel it, every now and then. The way your bones protruded just a bit more than they had a month ago. How your joints got sore from sitting or laying faster than before. How pale you had become compared to this time last year, when you had a slight glow to your skin.

This year, you were pasty. As though you had been locked away from the sun the entire time.

A sigh left your lips as you finished your skincare, the one act of kindness to yourself that you always made time for.

Your body didn't matter. It's not as though you would find someone in Prythian. After all, fae and humans shouldn't mix...

Feyre had said something similar to you, so long ago about your past crush on Cassian.

Thankfully in that time, only one person had caught your eye... And you were certain that Irina would never stoop so low as to date you of all people.

Another long breath, lungs deflating.

No, you were here to be alone. Mor and Feyre had begun trying to engage with you, for that you were grateful. They were keeping you from losing all hope once more, and it was all you could do to keep that flame alive.

Especially knowing that your own issues with your body would be added to by whatever Nesta and Elain deigned to say to you. Feyre may have told them to behave, but that wouldn't stop them from throwing barbs at you, thinly veiled by concern or 'opinion.'

Your cycle had finished the night before, leaving you tired but free of its scent, which you were overly thankful for. Mor's present was very nice, but you did not want to try the underwear out while dress shopping with your sisters.

You forced yourself to get dressed and headed out of your room, noting the time on the clock in the hallway. Half past eleven.

That should be enough time for a pot of tea, maybe taken in the kitchen? Or should you retreat to your room...?

You turned around and headed back to your room for a packet of tea leaves, this one a plain green tea. After grabbing it, you made your way downstairs, ears listening for any sign of life.

Perhaps they were all asleep still, exhausted from the revel the night before.

The kitchen was empty when you entered it, and you quickly set to making your tea. A few minutes later you were sat at the island in the kitchen, a cushioned stool beneath you. The tea was lovely and calming, it's clean, slightly sea scented aroma perfect for clearing your head.

That was until Nesta and Elain sauntered in, already talking about what dress styles and colors they were hoping to find today. Their conversation didn't stop once as they walked straight past you and into the living room, the only evidence of them noticing you was the feeling of their eyes on your back.

Suddenly, your heart wasn't so calm.

Feyre walked in a minute later, rushing over to you once she saw you seated at the island. "How are you?"

"I'm... I'm okay. How are you, Fey? How's the baby?"

"Oh I'm just fine, baby was being a little fussy earlier but they're all settled now. Are you ready to leave?"

You finished the rest of your tea in a few quick gulps, enjoying the feeling of warmth it brought, and stood from your stool. "I just need to wash this, and then I'm ready," you said, already making your way to the kitchen sink. That was done in a flash, and soon Feyre was ushering the three of you out the door, Nesta and Elain immediately locking arms and taking the lead. You and Feyre trailed after them, your own arms locked together after Feyre forced her elbow around yours, smiling at you when you looked at her.

All too soon, you arrived at the dress store in the middle of the Palace of Thread and Jewels, greeted by the owner, Tarin.

"Ah, the High Lady and her sisters! This is a lucky day for me, that's for sure," Tarin exclaimed as she approached Feyre, clasping their hands together. "What can I help the four of you with?"

"We're looking for dresses for Starfall, I know we're cutting it a bit close-"

"Oh, nonsense! For the High Lady, even the day of Starfall is not too close. Please, look around and pick out what interests you, we can have them altered if need be," Tarin said, waving her arms at the racks upon racks of dresses filling the shop. "I can also have them made up in different colors, and with any variations of fabrics you may like. Any way I can please you, my dears, and I am happy to do it."

Nesta and Elain set into the sea of fabric together, keeping close to each other as they picked through the racks. You stayed near Feyre, feeling wildly out of your depth.

Shopping for Solstice was one thing, it was shopping for those you cared for. But this...

This was shopping for yourself, and you struggled more with that. Buying the hairpin that you currently had twisted in your hair was a rare action, and one of the first non-practical purchase you had made for yourself since coming to Velaris.

"How about this one?" Feyre asked you, drawing you from your thoughts as she waved a dark purple dress in front of you, it's long sleeves waving as she did so.

"It's pretty," you said absentmindedly, staring at the way the fabric shimmered in the light.

"Do you want to try it on?"

Your eyes snapped up to Feyre's. "Me?"

Feyre laughed softly. "Yes, you. The cut is similar to dresses you've worn before, and you like purple, right?"

You looked back down at the dress, taking in the modest bodice and neckline, and the long length of the dress. "I like the design, but I think I'd prefer a lighter color, Fey," you said politely, but grabbed the dress anyway. "I'll try it on, though."

"That sounds fine, we could always get it made in a lilac color if you'd like," Feyre suggested, her hands already moving over more dresses. "You can go put that at the dressing rooms, then come back and look for more, okay?"

You nodded and did as she suggested, returning to her side and half-heartedly looking over the dresses hung in front of you.

Many of them were far too revealing for your comfort, with low necklines and slits up the thigh. You did find a few you thought Feyre may like, gowns that reminded you of the shimmering night sky, and showed them to her when you happened across them.

"Oh, I love this one," Feyre gushed when she saw one you had handed her, this one a dark blue silk with a smattering of silver stars embroidered across the chest and stomach, with a sweetheart neckline. The length of the dress would like reach her mid thigh, and hang just slightly on the tiny bump that was forming on Feyre's stomach. "What do you think?" She asked, holding the dress up to her body. "High Lady of Night enough?"

Even held against her body, the dress looked perfect for her. "Definitely. You should try it on, Fey," you suggested.

"Hmm... I think I will, Y/N. Are you ready to try yours on? I think we've both got a decent number," Feyre said, slowly walking with you to the back of the shop, where the dressing rooms were located.

"I am, I think," you replied, though you were unsure of being anywhere within a ten foot radius of Nesta. Especially if she couldn't find a dress she liked...

Thankfully at the moment, Nesta and Elain were both in their own dressing rooms, trying on whichever ones they had picked out.

You and Feyre entered your own curtained room, the dresses that you had picked out hung on the hooks inside.

A quiet sigh, and you set to undressing yourself. There was no mirror in here, likely to force people out to get recommendations from their friends. The purple dress that Feyre had found was the first you tried on, the soft fabric flowing down your body like water.

It clung too much.

That was your first impression of the dress, even with the modest neckline and hem length. The soft fabric seemed to be molded to your body, and even a cursory feel of your hands over your hips had you wishing you had rejected Feyre's offer to go shopping. You did not want to hear what Nesta would say about the slight show of your bones in the dress.

"Y/N, are you almost done? We're waiting for you," Feyre said softly from the other side of the curtain, and you forced yourself out of the dressing room. "Oh, you look lovely! I think the color looks nice on you," Feyre said kindly, even as her eyes lingered over the sharp edges of your shoulders, the noticeable bump of your hip bones.

"Do you eat?" Nesta asked sharply from across the room, her nose wrinkled as she took you in. "You look like you're still living in poverty, Y/N."

Blood rushed to your cheeks at her words. They were true, though. "I eat. I've just been..." you paused, trying to find a word that wouldn't irritate your sister. "Stressed."

Nesta scoffed, but shut her mouth at a stern look from Feyre.

"The color is nice, Y/N," Elain said weakly. You forced a smile in her direction.

"Thank you, Elain. Your dress is lovely, green is a wonderful color on you," you said, taking in the flowing layers of fabric that made up the skirt of the dress, all in varying shades of dark green.

"Thank you," Elain replied, but moved her gaze to Nesta. "Nes, your dress is gorgeous. I think you should stick with that one, no need to look for others. You look perfect," Elain said excitedly, so different from her reaction to you.

You tried not to let it sting, turning instead to Feyre. She was clad in a floor length dress in black, tiny diamonds sewn on in patterns that you thought were constellations. There was a slit up to her mid thigh on both sides, allowing her to move freely. "This one is beautiful Fey, you look stunning!"

"You think? I still want to try on that last one you picked out, but I really like this one," Feyre said. "Oh, and I may have put an extra dress in your dressing room, please just try it on, I think you'll really like it. It's the pink one on the left hand side. Just, try it," Feyre begged you softly before returning to her dressing room, Nesta and Elain already back in their own.

Your mouth set into a line, you entered the curtained room again. As she said, there was a glittering pink gown hung on the left hand side when you walked in. Your mouth fell into a frown at the neckline.

Entirely too scandalous for you.

But still, you forced yourself to shed the purple dress and shimmy into the pink one as Feyre had asked. The long, flowing sleeves were off the shoulder, connected to the bodice by a small amount of fabric. The neckline of the dress was far lower than you were normally comfortable with, showing more cleavage than you ever had. The dress was loose fitting past your chest, the flowing skirts moving beautifully as you examined them. The pale rose pink of the fabric was one of your favorites, and didn't wash out your complexion. A difficult task, with how pale you are at the moment.

You walked out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirror, assessing the dress. Your shoulders were far too bony, but even so... You felt beautiful in the dress, like a princess. The skirts reached your feet, billowing out around you. The neckline was lower than you wanted... But it looked lovely, and really, wearing one low-necked dress in your lifetime would be fine. A turn in the mirror showed you your prominent scapulae, half hidden by the fabric of the dress. That could be fixed by styling your hair in large ringlets, enough to cover most of your back. But the gown... The gown was lovely.

"Oh, I knew you would look perfect in that one!" Feyre cheered when she exited her dressing room in the dress you had picked for her. "You look amazing! Please tell me this is the one you want?" Feyre asked, standing by you as both of you stared in the mirror.

"You don't think it's too...?" You gestured to the neckline. "Revealing?"

Feyre shook her head. "No, mother no. I've worn much worse, you have nothing to worry about. It's just a little bit different than usual, is all. And it's perfect on you."

You tried to believe Feyre, and you did like the dress...

But then Nesta walked out. Her eyes narrowed and nose wrinkled as she gave you a once over, obviously displeased with how you looked.

She was so good at that. Tearing you apart with just one look.

"Your shoulders stick out," Nesta remarked as she took her place in front of the mirror, looking herself over. Her dress was made of shiny silver fabric, a corset in the same fabric serving as the bodice with thick straps wrapping over the tops of her shoulders.

You ignored her comment as best you could. "You look amazing in that dress, Nesta. The corset fits you perfectly."

A cold look over her shoulders, followed by a clipped, "Thank you."

Elain came out of her dressing room last, this time clad in a cream colored dress, looking every bit like the bride she was always destined to be.

"Oh, Elain! You look wonderful!" You said brightly as you took a step toward her, stopping when her gaze hit you- cold as ice. "This one looks very nice on you, but the last one looked amazing too," you said, more nervous now.

"Thanks," she answered coolly, setting her eyes on Feyre. "Feyre, that dress is stunning on you, and very fitting for Starfall."

You nodded in agreement, the dress was perfect for her. And just like you thought, it just barely highlighted the tiny baby bump Feyre had. The sight of it made you smile.

You were overjoyed that your sister had found a loving partner in Rhys, and was looking forward to motherhood.

"Thank you, 'Lain, I really like that it shows my bump just a bit, I think Rhys and I are ready to let our court know that we're expecting at Starfall," Feyre said excitedly, a hand stroking her belly.

"That's amazing, Feyre," Nesta said softly, sounding the kindest she had since they had been taken by Hybern.

"You'll be the talk of Starfall," Elain said, holding Feyre's hands in her own. "I'm so excited for you and Rhys!"

"I don't want to make the biggest deal out of it, after all, it's still early, but... Rhys is so excited about finally being a father, I had to talk him down from telling the Hewn City residents about it last night," Feyre sighed. "I am glad that I'm going to have all of my sisters with me, supporting me along the way, though. Thank you all for coming shopping today," Feyre said tearily.

"Of course, Feyre," you said, taking her in your arms. "We're always going to be by your side."

Elain's arms followed next, barely touching you but clutching Feyre close. "Yeah, Fey, we'll always be with you. Right, Nes?"

"Of course. I will always be here for you, Feyre," Nesta said, and reluctantly wrapped her arms around Feyre and Elain, one hand just barely touching you.

When you all pulled away, Feyre was crying softly, tears streaming down her face. You grabbed tissues from a nearby table, dabbing away the tracks of starlight on her face. "It's okay, Feyre. We're all here."

"I-I know," Feyre sniffled. "I just... I love you all so much. I can't imagine life without any of you." She let you wipe her eyes, dabbing away the last of her tears after she collected herself. "Now, let's try on the rest of the dresses, we shouldn't waste too much of Miss Tarin's time."

The four of you continued to try on dresses, with much of the same behavior. You attempted to compliment your sisters, only to be met with cold responses. If they did talk to you, it was to point out how the dress didn't suit you.

You still chose the pink dress that Feyre had chosen for you, Feyre choosing the blue one that you had picked for her. Nesta picked the silver gown. Elain had taken the longest to decide, eventually choosing the green dress she had tried on first.

Feyre had argued over the payment with Tarin, demanding that she pay full price for the rushed orders, eventually winning the argument. Nesta and Elain had left by that point, taking off to some vague location that contained books.

That left you and Feyre, walking slowly across the bridge that would lead you to the Rainbow. She wanted to look at paints, and maybe get something special for the canvases that you had gotten her.

And that's how you found yourself entering Irina's shop once more, your heartbeat kicking up when you realized it. Feyre led you to the wall of paint, her fingers hovering over the tubes as she searched for the colors she wanted.

Soft footsteps approached from the back of the shop, and you were met with Irina, her face just as beautiful as you remembered, her smile just as warm.

You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat.

"Ah, Feyre and Y/N, it's lovely to see both of you," Irina's smooth voice said. "You came in just in time, I was about to close up early."

"Lucky us!" Feyre said, eyes still glued to the paint tubes. "Any special occasion?" She asked Irina teasingly as she pulled a few out of the selection.

"Oh, hush you," Irina scolded, swatting Feyre gently on the arm. "You know that I have a date with Rivin tonight."

Oh.

Your heart sank.

"Well, I wanted to make sure the plans were still on! You know I was rooting for the two of you to get together," Feyre said. You grabbed the paint tubes she had picked up from her, pushing her slender hand away when she attempted to take them back. Your fingers rolled over the cap, giving you a sensation to focus on besides your crushed... crush. "The way the two of you danced around each other since I first met you was adorable- I'm so glad you're going out now!"

"Well, I'll only be able to go out with her if you choose what you want soon, or she'll think I stood her up!" Irina laughed, her skin shifting colors under the light.

"Oh, fine, fine," Feyre said, pulling out three more tubes of paint, all shimmering metallic shades. You followed her as she followed Irina to the back counter, placing the tubes on it. Soon enough, the paints were rung up and bagged, and clutched tightly in your arms. "Thank you, Irina. I hope your date goes well."

"Oh, I do as well!" Irina said as she walked the two of you out of the store, locking the door behind her. "I hope the two of you have a lovely rest of your day as well."

"You as well, Irina," you said quietly, nodding your head to her before she turned to leave. She flashed you a dazzling smile, her eyes a bright pink today.

So pretty.

"I'll see the two of you around!" She yelled, waving goodbye over her shoulder.

You and Feyre began the walk home, arms linked together one more, your other balancing the bag of paint.

"How do you know Irina?" Feyre asked once you were crossing the Sidra, taking careful penguin steps so neither of you would fall on the slippery bricks.

Color rushed to your cheeks, though they were already pink from the cold. "Oh, I went into her shop to get one of your birthday presents. The canvases and all," you explained.

"Ahh, that makes sense. She's nice, and she has a great selection!" Feyre said excitedly as the two of you passed through the door of the River House. "I cannot wait to start the first three panels! I'm not quite through my third month yet, but I know some of what I want to do for it."

"I'm glad you like it Fey! I can't wait to see what you make for each one." You kicked off your boots after unlacing them, and let Feyre pull your jacket off your arms, you doing the same for her after. "I think I'm going to head up to my room," you said quietly after you hung up your coats and put your boots on the rack.

"Oh, alright. I... I hope you didn't feel too uncomfortable while shopping," Feyre said. You knew what she meant: with Nesta and Elain.

"I was... fine," you lied half-heartedly.

Feyre stared at you, and you would have thought she was reading your mind, but you didn't feel anything similar. "If you say so. You know you can talk to me, right?" You nodded. "Okay... Well, I'll let you get to your room. Did you want me to start water for tea? I was going to make a cup for myself anyway," Feyre offered, a soft smile on her face.

You nodded again. "That would be nice, thank you, Fey."

Feyre's smile broadened. "I'll see you in the kitchen, sissy."

You went to your room to grab another packet of tea from the sampler Azriel had gotten you- so far, you were a fan of every blend he had chosen. You were hoping today's choice of a rose petal tea would be just as lovely.

The trip back to the kitchen was quick, with no sign of your other two sisters. Good. You weren't in the mood to see their sneering faces again so soon.

Tea was made quickly, thanks to Feyre boiling water for you. You gave her a hug before returning upstairs, tray balanced in your arms.

Just before you opened your door, the door to Rhys's study swung open, Azriel emerging from it.

Oh!

He came down the hallway, and once he was near the stairs you finally got your brain to move past your anxiety of starting a conversation.

"Hi, Azriel, would you uhm... Would you wait here for just a moment?" You asked. "I have that Solstice present I got for you."

"Alright," Azriel replied quietly, moving closer to your doorway. You went inside quickly, fishing the already wrapped box out from under your bed, and a moment later you were back in front of him, offering the gift to him.

"Open it," you said, pushing the box into his hands.

Soon enough, the dagger was in his hands, his fingers running over the inlaid crescent moon made of sapphires, then over the blade itself. "This is wonderful, Y/N, thank you," Azriel said, sincerity in his tone. "I happen to have gotten a gift for you as well." A moment later, shadows materialized, depositing a festive, glittery evergreen tree colored bag in his hand.

"Oh, Azriel, you didn't have to-"

"Open it," Azriel said simply, transferring the handles over to your hand in a quick movement.

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, but opened the bag. Inside was a beautiful, hooded cloak that would reach at least your mid back, made of a soft, white yarn. Beneath it was a matching scarf, little tassels on the ends, and a pair of mittens. They even had a small button on the top, allowing for the and of the mitten to be lifted and become a sleeveless glove if needed.

"Its made of rabbit fur," Azriel said quietly as you ran your fingers over the fabric. You looked up at with him with wide eyes. "Oh- they just brush or shave the rabbits, don't worry, no fluffy creatures were killed in the making of your gift," Azriel reassured you.

You let out a breath of relief. "Good. Good. It's a beautiful present, Azriel, thank you. Could I- could I give you a hug?" You asked nervously, regretting the question the moment you asked it. "I mean, you don't have to-"

"That would be fine." You blinked up at him. That would be- You allowed yourself to wrap your arms around him, noticing how stiff he was for the first few seconds before relaxing, his own arms coming up around you.

He smelled nice. Like cedar wood and... And night? Whatever it was, it was nice. Calming.

You both retracted your arms at the same time, pulling apart. A soft smile at him and one last thank you, and then you were in your room once more.

You were happy that he liked your present, but the slight wash of warmth it had given you was quickly chased away by the rest of your day.

Nesta and Elain... You were sure that they would never look at you like a sister again.

And Irina... It was such a silly crush that you had, based almost entirely on how pretty she was. You had been taken with her instantly, yes, breath catching in your throat. But that... That meant nothing.

Especially with you still being... Human. Frail. Less than a century from dying.

No fae, no matter how they looked, would ever take you as their wife, that you were sure of. You only had a couple of decades left of looking youthful, and perhaps only a few more past that before illness would inevitably take you.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you sat at your desk, a cup of tea poured out in the next moment.

At least tea could never not choose you...

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

The next week and a half passed dreadfully slowly, spent mostly in the solitude of your room.

Feyre came by when she could make time, the two of you sharing a pot of tea and the occasional snacks that she would bring.

Mor was stuck in the Hewn City, all the way until the morning of Starfall, when she would have a slight reprieve. She had already promised to come and spend the morning with you to get ready and catch up.

But until then, or until Feyre could make time... You stuck to your room.

Apparently your giving a joint present to Nesta and Cassian, and Elain and Lucien cause some extra anger in the two of them towards you. Nesta's glare had seemed extra fiery, and Elain had appeared perched on Lucien's lap more often than not when you did happen to wander into the living room.

You tried not to let it get to you, you did... But between the extra tension at home and the sadness in your heart from your silly little crush... It was weighing you down.

The days ticked past, counting down to an event that you weren't particularly excited for...

The morning of Starfall arrived, bringing with it the bright ball of energy that was Mor.

"Y/N!" Mor shouted, startling you awake. "Wake up! Wake up wake up! I'm here, I'm here. Please. Wake up. I've missed you!"

"Oh my gods, Mor, I'm awake," you groaned, rubbing your hands over your eyes. "Do you know a gentle way to wake people up?" You asked as you sat up, pushing your hair away from your face.

"Mm, not really. But, my way is super effective," Mor said cheekily, grinning when you stood up in the tub to glare at her with no fire in your eyes. "Come over here, sweets," she demanded, patting the bed next to her. You went over to her, collapsing onto the bed next to her, and swatted at her with a pillow in revenge for her waking you so abruptly. "So, how have the past two weeks been for you?"

"Oh... You know... Boring..." You said quietly. "How's it been for you? Is everyone behaving?"

Mor narrowed her eyes at you for a brief moment, before accepting your change of subject. "Oh, most everyone has been fine... I've been trying very hard to change the city's voting system plus helping plan their Starfall event, so my hands have been full every waking moment. And Keir has been an absolute pain..." Mor sighed. "He doesn't like that he's losing most of his control by the city moving to a full population vote rather than just the nobles, but it's going to happen whether he likes it or not. But for me, that just means him being more of an ass."

"I'm sorry Mor. I wish that someone else was able to help you..."

"Feyre offered, but, well, with her being pregnant that's not the best idea. And I'm sure Amren would enjoy going solely to terrify the citizens, but that's not exactly... What we're aiming for. And I can do it, and I will, I just wish my stupid father wasn't a factor." Mor sighed dramatically and flopped back on your bed, arms flung out to the sides.

One smacked into your thigh and you laughed, pushing it off of you and back over to Mor's side. "I know something that will cheer you up," you offered.

"Oh?" Mor asked, peeking over at you. "And what would that be?"

"Doing our skincare!" You answered brightly, using the same tactic that she always did with you.

"Oh, I should have guessed!" Mor giggled. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, sweets. Let's get to it!"

"Wait- let me take a quick bath first, and then I'll be all ready for it."

Mor nodded. "That sounds fine, I'll go make some tea and grab some breakfast for us."

The morning moved quickly from there- too quickly, in your opinion, your alone time with Mor slipping away so fast. After you had bathed, the two of you did your skincare, doing an extra mask and moisturizer to give yourselves an extra glow.

Into the second pot of tea Mor started doing your makeup once she had seen your dress. She spent nearly an hour on you alone, taking her time to perfect your eyeshadow and lipstick, getting just the right about of blush coloring your cheeks. You felt beautiful, seeing yourself like that in the mirror.

Mor's own makeup didn't take near as long, but she was even more beautiful than usual, with the extra time she had put in.

The two of you spent a bit more time together before she had to leave and return to the Hewn City for a bit longer, to make sure their celebration started smoothly.

"I'll see you at the House of Wind later, yes?" Mor asked before she left your room, a stern eye on you.

You sighed. "Yes, Mor, I will see you at the House of Wind. I won't skip out on the celebration, I promise."

Mor nodded in approval. "Good. I'll see you in a few hours, Y/N."

She breezed out of your room, leaving you alone once again.

You sighed, and sat down on your bed. Then collapsed back onto it.

Just a few more hours, and your anxious anticipation could subside.

Starfall would be fine this year. You will stay away from Nesta, Elain, and their mates, and instead stick around Feyre, Mor, and possibly Azriel, if he didn't seem too annoyed by your presence.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

Four hours later, you were dressed and ready to leave for the House of Wind. Your hair was half pinned up by the hairpin you had bought yourself, half left down in loose curls that conveniently covered most of the bones in your back.

There was little you could do to cover your shoulders, what with the style of the dress, but you felt pretty nonetheless. The gown had been taken in slightly, just enough to fit more snugly and leave you feeling more comfortable with such an exposed neckline, more secure. And the way the skirts flowed around your feet made you feel more graceful than you were.

Overall, you felt decent about yourself tonight. Your hair had cooperated, not making you late for the start of the event by taking too long to style. And the makeup that Mor had done was perfect, just enough to enhance your natural features.

You had even opted for heels tonight, little sparkly silver boots that Feyre had gotten for you, in case you wanted something more than flats to wear.

When you finally left your room, you made your way downstairs where Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel were waiting in the entryway, seemingly for you.

"Oh, Y/N, you look beautiful!" Feyre exclaimed when she caught sight of you, rushing over to pull you into her arms. "I just love this dress on you!"

"Yes, both of you look lovely, but Feyre...?" Rhys started.

"Oh, shoot! We need to get going, Y/N, but Azriel will take you up to the House when you're ready!" Feyre said brightly, leaving the house a moment later and letting her mate take her in his arms, shooting of into the sky together.

Your heart dropped. Flying? You had only flown a few times, usually to get to the House of Wind as you would be tonight. It still terrified you as badly as it did on the first time, leaving you shaking every time.

"Are you ready to leave?" Azriel asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You nodded, and followed him outside, even as you felt like your heart was in your throat at the prospect of flying.

He gently pulled you into his arms, one hooked beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. Your arms instinctively flew around his neck, ready to hold on for dear life.

Not that you didn't trust Azriel to keep you alive, just... You weren't made for flying, you don't think.

The push off from the ground had you closing your eyes, squeezing them shut tight. You could feel your heart racing, trying to leave your chest as you were overtaken by fear.

"You look beautiful tonight," Azriel said, his deep voice in your ear causing your eyes to snap open.

"You don't have to lie..."

Azriel let out a soft breath. "I'm not lying, you look beautiful tonight. Pink is your color, I believe," He said, his voice right in your ear again. Color rushed to your cheeks at his compliment, and you smiled- small, but there.

A moment later, he had landed solidly on the ground, carefully placing you on your feet.

You'd nearly forgotten you had been flying.

Soon after distancing yourself from him, Rhys rushed over to pull him away for some reason or another. Which left you standing alone in the House of Wind, for the first time since Bounty Day.

Anxiety grew in your gut again, making you feel queasy.

Especially when you saw the feast, laid out over that same massive dining table.

You turned away from the banquet, navigating instead to Feyre's side. Already she was surrounded by a few citizens, but you were able to make your way in for a hug from your sister. Soon though, far more crowded in, and following the arrival of Rhys you broke away from your sister, no longer feeling welcome next to them.

You wandered off, searching for Mor in the ever growing sea of people, with no luck yet.

Azriel, the other person you knew that could be safe to talk to, was occupied talking to a very pretty redhead, and also next to Nesta and Cassian.

Definitely a no.

After a while, you filled a small plate with food, picking at the smoked meats, cheeses, and some pieces of fruit until you couldn't stand it anymore, taking the plate back into the kitchens.

Back here, it was quieter. A few stragglers were wandering in and out between the balconies nearby, but you paid them no mind as you got a glass of cool water from the sink.

You let yourself take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, to bring yourself out of your anxiety. It helped, but not much.

It was enough to allow you to wander back out into the party, passing more than enough males who eyed you up and down, leaving you nervous. You were almost tempted to grab a glass of wine, but you knew all that was provided was faerie wine, something that you never wanted to try after hearing some of Feyre's tales involving it.

You knew this dress was a mistake. A beautiful one, yes, but it left you feel exposed unlike every before.

Every few minutes, you circled back to where Feyre was, seeing if there was an opportunity for you to ask her to take you back to the River House, or have someone take you back. But every time you passed, there was somehow more people crowded around Feyre and her mate.

Mor was nowhere to be seen two hours into the party, leaving you adrift in the sea of fae that had overtaken the House of Wind. You were overwhelmed and feeling so alone, the noise of the party drowning out any coherent thoughts you could have.

Just make it to the Starfall, and you can go.

That's what you told yourself for an hour as you continued your slow circles of the main rooms, attempting to find Mor or see if Feyre was available. No luck for you, though.

Cheers erupted as the first streaks of glowing green overtook the sky, giving you your cue to leave.

You didn't care that it was cold and snowy out, you just needed away from the noise, the lights, the everything that always surrounded you.

The stairs were hell in your heeled boots, but you dealt with them, forcing yourself to go one step at a time. By some miracle, you didn't fall, merely ending the massive flight of stairs by sitting down at the bottom to catch your breath.

Tears had begun falling down your cheeks at some point, driven by the cold and how lonely you feel, how forgotten you felt yet again.

You finally pushed yourself off of the cold stone, the bottom of your dress now wet with snow.

The forest would give you the peace you wanted, though you wouldn't venture near as far as you had last time. No, tonight you just wanted a bit of peace, a bit of time with only natural light shining upon you, even if it was enhanced by the cosmic phenomenon going on above you.

Your feet carried you to the edge of Velaris, the forest in your sights. A sigh of relief left you as you saw the trees, so reminiscent of the ones you had grown up near.

And then you crashed into a wall.

"What the-?" You rubbed at your nose, attempting to soothe the pain of crashing into- whatever you had crashed into. You held your hands out, shocked to find that they rested perfectly on an invisible force in front of you. Nothing that you tried let your hands pass that point, and a kick at the area led to the same results- a foot that you knew would hurt badly in the morning.

You couldn't believe it.

They had locked. You. In. They had taken any amount of freedom you could have, no matter how fleeting it would inevitably be.

Ice cold rage and swells of disappointment left you a sobbing mess as you stumbled away from the wall of your cage, following the Sidra with no true destination in mind.

You would not be going back to that house. You couldn't. Not when- when... Not when Feyre had okayed you being locked inside of the city like nothing more than a pet, like you weren't a person with feelings and needs and desires.

You were sick of being alone, sick of feeling alone even in a sea of people. You had no one who was just yours. And that would never change in Velaris, would never change unless you were around humans once more.

"Y/N!" A warm voice said, drawing your eyes from the snow covered ground to the person it came from. "How did the recipe I gave you turn out? Good?" Sevenda asked, her smile turning to a frown when she saw your tear covered, blotchy face. "Is everything okay, dear?"

Another sob left your lips, despite your attempts to quiet it. "I- I- No," you managed to get out.

"Oh, come in here for a minute, Y/N, you're freezing!" Sevenda said, pulling you into the back of her restaurant. She pushed a cup of tea in front of you, which you gladly accepted, your fingers warming instantly from the mug. "Did you want to talk about it?" She asked after a couple of minutes.

You shook your head, but sighed and answered anyways. "I just... I don't belong in that house, I don't belong in Velaris... I can't... I can't keep pretending like I do, acting like I'm happy to be there... I need..." You sighed again. "I need out of there." And then an idea struck you. "I- I know this would be a lot to ask, and that you likely don't need help from a human but... Do you happen to need help here? I could do anything you need, I just..." You trailed off.

"You need out?" Sevenda asked, sympathy on her face and in her voice. "Well, I did lose one of my prep cooks to the Continent recently, he went to study new styles of cooking. If you are serious about this, I will have you show up at nine tomorrow morning. Okay, dear?"

You nodded your head vigorously. "I would be so grateful, Sevenda, truly, thank you so much." You let the older fae pull you into her arms, the gentle hug enough to stop your tears for the moment.

"Are you going to be alright, dear?" She asked once she pulled away, looking you in the eyes. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice at the moment. "Okay. Let me get you a cup of tea to go, and you should go straight home, hmm?"

You let her do just that, accepting the hot jasmine tea in a lidded cup that she made you promise to bring back in the morning. After saying goodbye, you set off in the opposite direction of the River House.

No matter how cold you were, you didn't feel like going back there yet.

Some time later, you found yourself on a cliffside, overlooking the bay of Velaris. Your tea was long gone by now, any warmth it had given you gone with it.

The rocks down below looked so inviting, as though they would welcome you in an instant. You let out a long, heavy breaths, tears beginning to flow again.

You wish you had the strength to jump.

Instead, you sat on the edge of the cliff, booted feet dangling over the side. The snow underneath you was frigid, leaving you colder than before. But still, you sat and watched the waves, and listened to the crash on the rocks below.

"Y/N?" A deep voice asked from behind you, but you paid it no mind. Maybe they would leave you alone. "Y/N?" The voice asked again. After another length of silence from you, the person took another approach, and sat next to you instead, their own long legs dangling over the edge. A warmth behind you, and less wind hitting you after the male readjusted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You still didn't answer.

Instead, you were surprised by gentle hands winding a scarf around your neck in two loops, then a cloak being fastened over your head and buttoned in the front, and finally a pair of mittens slid over your hand.

Azriel didn't make you talk, didn't make you do anything. He simply let you take the time you needed to recover, to stop your tears.

A while later, the waves started to lull you to sleep, your head tilting to the side until Azriel pulled it to his arm, letting you rest against him. Your eyes fluttered shut, your cheek soaking in the warmth of him, even through the hood of your cloak.

It was only when you nearly pitched forward off the cliff that Azriel insisted on taking you back to the River House, or at least to a café where you could warm up.

"I suppose..." your voice cracked. "That going back to the River House would be... fine... for now," you whispered, glad that he didn't force you to speak any more. A moment later and you were pulled through shadows, similarly to how Nuala and Cerridwen travelled but... different in a way. Almost warmer, you would say.

The two of you appeared in front of your bedroom door, the warm air shocking your skin and making you feel clammy.

"I'll have my shadows bring you a pot of tea, feel free to take a bath or change so you can warm up, Y/N. I hope you have a better night that it has been so far," Azriel said quietly before turning to leave.

"Thank you, Azriel," you croaked just before he turned to go down the stairs. He gave you a small smile and nodded before continuing on his way.

You entered your bedroom, tears falling almost instantly once you were alone again. You forced yourself to strip, hanging up the pink gown to dry and setting your sparkly boots near the door. The bath felt soothing, at least, warming you to the core by the time you got out.

And there, awaiting you on your desk, was a fresh pot of the lavender and chamomile tea that you preferred for sleep.

A few extra tears fell at that small act of kindness, and you helped yourself to a still steaming cup of it, settling into the armchair that you had perpetually pulled near your window, a throw blanket across your body.

Sleep claimed you before you had even finished your second cup of tea.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

General Taglist: @lilah-asteria @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao

Series Taglist: @darkbloodsly @angelbunny222 @uniquedreamsblog @romantasyreader28 @that-one-bibliophole @idkmyoldonewasembarassing @deathtopistachios @saltedcoffeescotch @sleepylunarwolf @babypeapoddd @kingshitonly @bravo-delta-eccho @bluebries81 @liahaslosthermind @deepestmentalitypersona @historygeekqueen @hermajestysworld @marina468 @esposamultifandom @astrokitty18 @larissa01-blog2 @acourtofbatboydreams @angel-graces-world-of-chaos @thelov3lybookworm @weekendlusting @dxjaaaa @thejediprincess56 @casiiopea2 @butterfix

#the afterthought #I don't feel alive #acotar x reader #acotar x archeron!reader #acotar x reader angst #acotar angst #angst #toxic inner circle #acotar fic #acotar fanfic #archeron!reader #acotar #tato writes

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mirroredmemoriez · 8 months ago

Text

A collection of Amanda Young’s outfits (PT 1)

As the title states, this is just all the outfits I can source from Amanda Young from the franchise but also any game adaptation too. This will be broken into parts because of the image limit.

1.) The Reverse Bear Trap (RBT) outfit

One of her most iconic and recognisable fits. She has a purple tank top with matching sleeves to go alongside, presumably kept in place by the pink bands on her upper arms? Amanda in this wears a black skirt with ripped fish nets and kinda shiny boots- Other things include the eye makeup, nail polish and the only time we ever see her have the clawing panther tattoo on her shoulder.

2.) Rockstar outfit

I've generalised this as the ROCKSTAR outfit- Because this specific shirt comes up a few times, not just in that cut scene. It seems there is actually two shirts? The blue graphic one on top and a grey one underneath. Amanda's hair and jackets change! There is the light grey jacket and then the black one and even things like how heavy her makeup is are different... The main place we see this look is when she is setting up Adam for his game. Of course she has boots on as always and I guess I'd call the jeans she has on cuffed? One extra is she has a watch on.

3.) Junkie outfit

BECAUSE I WAS A FUCKING JUNKIE!!! Anyway, with this I had to brighten the image to see what the design on the tank top was... From there I went, ''I think I've seen this before...'' And yeah, I had- Shawnee Smith has worn this logo a few times, so that's why I've added the last two images for a clearer reference. Amanda here looks quite gaunt and sickly and we can't see the rest of this outfit such as trousers.

4.) Visitor outfit

I'll dub this the Visitor outfit because of the badge of course- I would say this likely is Amanda's most simple outfit? Black shirt and skirt. The most striking thing about this look is the RBT scars she has... It's also one of the only times outside of Saw 3 we see Amanda with a ponytail! I can't lie when looking at her hair here, it almost looks two toned in places such as the side burns? Almost grey in parts? (Edit: This may be a dress actually.)

5.) The Red Pig outfit

This is my personal favourite when it comes to her in movie pig looks. She has a red coat/cloak which the length goes all the way down to her boots- Looking there I think the lower half from seeing the cuffed like jeans is probably the exact same as her Rockstar outfit. Her eye makeup is heavily smudged and the mask itself in my opinion is one of the best shaped pig masks, with what seems to be ''blood'' coming out of the eye sockets and black slash brunette hair.

6.) Bow Dress/Clinic outfit

This scene and the follow up is so depressing but she's so cutesy here- It's a simple black dress, but the bow is very Amanda. I have no clue whether the shoes she has on in the first image are actually apart of the outfit or just something Shawnee had on whilst testing it out. 7.) News Report/Scott Tibbs outfit

May be my overall favourite Amanda outfit.... She has on a grey hoodie jacket, possibly another article of clothing from her Rockstar outfit? Her iconic skull sweatpants with a belt and then boots that I would say are more akin to her RBT outfit. I can't really tell if the shirt she has got on is layers or just has different materials- Amanda's RBT scars are also very visible in this look.

8.) Suffocation outfit

At first I started doing these as two separate outfits? One for when she kills Adam, the other for when she wakes up from her nightmare- However, I'm pretty sure this is the same outfit through and through. Amanda has on a long sleeved orange shirt with a grey tanktop over it. The jacket is leather with noticeable silver studs and she has on cargo type trousers and as always... Boots.

9.) Nightmare outfit

Another personal favourite! Once again we get to see the skull pants and this is how I was able to gage the material a bit better. I honestly have no clue how to describe the specific items of clothing she has on her upper half? A corset type shirt going on? Details I enjoy are the safety pins around the shoulder and bottom half and she has a watch on.

10.) Saw X outfit

I decided to not have this pig look separate. Anyway! This is Amanda's most recent outfit with Saw X having come out in 2023.... Simple grey t-shirt alongside cargo trousers with a belt. The boots she's got on are very combat/work like and Amanda also has a black choker and earrings here- Her coat/cloak is black with red detailing such as the cuffs and the inner lining.

#amanda young #amanda young outfits #shawnee smith #saw #saw 2004 #saw 2 #saw 3 #saw x #saw franchise #saw movies #sawposting

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adoringhaikyuu · 9 months ago

Note

wait omg i love ur stuff, can u mayyybe do one of the “they think you’re pregnant” ones for terushima, iwa, suga and ukai ?? <3

THEY THINK YOU'RE PREGNANT | 4

characters: iwaizumi + sugawara + terushima + ukai + (gn!reader)

warnings: none, but all of the boys are -for- having babies in this!!

notes: this is probably the last one of these i'll do + this has literally taken me so long (3 years) to find inspiration for the last 3 scenarios ahh

part one / part two / part three / part four

iwaizumi feels like you're hiding something from him. he doesn't know how to explain it, call it his intuition. but he feels like there's something you're not telling him, and for some reason––aka oikawa, he thinks you're pregnant.

"well if you ask me, iwa-chan, it sounds like y/n might be pregnant."

iwaizumi almost choked on air when his best friend uttered those words. was it true? was he really going to be a father? surely you would have told him, right? why wouldn't you? did you think he'd react badly? did you not want to raise a family with him?

oikawa went on, knowing his friend would get too caught up in his thoughts if they stayed in silence.

"took you long enough anyway, i've been waiting to be your kids' favorite uncle." he waved a hand playfully, "and yeah you'll be wonderful parents too, i'm sure."

that made iwaizumi's familiar oikawa-induced scowl return, earning the volleyball player a half-hearted smack on the back of the head.

iwaizumi's gait slows as he walks into your bedroom, noticing you snuggled in the covers, on your phone. when you notice him you quickly smile and greet him, opening your arms for him to give you a hug and he absentmindedly obliges, his body working on it's own through muscle memory. just the sight of you has him feeling tingly and warm.

you can tell he's not fully there when he pulls away, an almost distant look in his eyes that brings a bubble of concern to your stomach. "are you alright?"

you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, tilting his head, his eyes cast down as he sits next to you and wraps his arms around your waist.

his voice is small when he speaks up. "you know you can tell me anything, right?"

you frown, "of course. why?"

you tilt your head to catch his eye and he finally looks up, a hesitant and somewhat fearful look in his gaze. it's not that he was scared that you were pregnant, no. it's that he was worried you wanted to keep it from him.

his hand subconsciously drifted closer to your stomach. "are you pregnant?"

you froze and blinked once, your hand dropping from his face in shock. you don't know what you were expecting but it wasn't that. "wh––no? haji i would have told you if i was. where is this coming from?"

suddenly an embarrassed blush rose to his cheeks as his eyes widened. "uh i don't––" he sighed and let his head drop down, his voice stooping to a mumble. "shittykawa."

you raised a brow, letting out a breath of laughter that brought a smile to his lips. "trust me when i say i would tell you before oikawa if we were having a baby."

iwaizumi nodded, wanting nothing more than to hide his face. so he did, playfully tackling you, the smile on his face widening when you let out a surprised yelp mixed with a laugh as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close.

you quickly melted into him, wrapping yourself around him, tangling your legs together in the bed.

his voice was partly muffled as he spoke up, "guess i'll have to tell crappykawa he won't be an uncle as soon as he thought. poor guy was excited too."

you paused, your hand mindlessly playing with his hair. "...i mean...maybe he could be."

iwaizumi's breath hitched and he raised his head to look at the sheepish smile on your face. "yeah?"

you nodded. "yeah." you shrugged, "i'm ready if you are."

his heart started to beat faster, swelling with love as he leaned in to give you a sweet kiss. "i've been ready, doll."

sugawara has had an extra pep in his step all day. he woke up earlier than you to use the bathroom and when he slid back under the covers, you spoke up in your sleep, mumbling.

"mm need to tell...koshi...bout the baby."

his eyes widened, heart rate picking up as he stared at you. should he wake you up? should he call daichi? he was too excited he didn't know what to do.

he kissed you on the cheek and turned on his side to watch you with a smile on his face. he started thinking about what life was going to be like with a mini you with cute chubby cheeks.

he ended up not being able to fall back asleep, so he got an early start to his day. when you finally woke up later, he had already pretty much had a full day, prepping to be the best dad and partner during your pregnancy. he stocked up on all your favorite snacks and ingredients for your favorite meals, along with a bouquet with your favorite flowers. he was also wearing your favorite outfit on him, his softest hoodie for you to cuddle into.

he also made your favorite breakfast, you realized as you walked into the kitchen, a loving smile growing on your face. "kou what's all this for?" you immediately walked into his arms, nuzzling into the fabric of his hoodie. you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes.

"just wanted to remind you how special you are to me, and that i'll always take care of you."

"aw baby."

"so uh is there anything you wanna tell me?" he looked at you hopeful, a smile on his face.

you perked up and his smile widened. "oh, thank you baby, really. you're so sweet to me." you squeezed him tighter.

his smile faltered slightly. "anything else?"

you tilted your head. "um, i love you?"

"i love you too babe." he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "nothing uh...nothing else?"

your brows furrowed, an unsure smile on your face. "i don't think so?"

"you know you can tell me anything, right? especially if it's about us?"

"yeah of course i do. but i don't know what you're talking about?"

"the...the baby?"

you blinked. "whose baby?"

he blinked back. "...ours?"

"we don't have a baby...?"

"i thought...i thought we were having one?"

"...why?"

"you said...in your sleep this morning you said you had to tell me about the baby." he smiled, embarrassed. "and now i'm realizing you were probably just mumbling nonsense." he laughed. "sorry babe."

"aw kou," you pouted, both at how cute he is and how thoughful he is to have done all this for you. "you seemed so excited."

he kissed your cheek, smiling "yeah, but i can wait."

you bit your lip. "hm, well maybe...you don't have to wait that long? if you're ready."

he beamed at you, eyes tearing up, heart swelling with love for you. "i've been ready, love."

terushima was seeing signs everywhere. he had a strong suspicion that you were pregnant, and he always trusted his gut.

you'd been moody, clingy sometimes and then absolutely disturbed by his presence within a split second. and then there's the food––

"yujiii"

he came tentatively into the room, slightly afraid. "yes, my love?"

"i'm really craving the sushi from that one place we tried last time."

"the place all the way across town?"

you started to pout, tears forming in your eyes.

"no no no, hey hey, it's okay! we can just order, yeah?"

smiling, you nodded and beckoned him over for a hug. "thank you baby."

he came into your arms, basically sighing in relief. nuzzling into your neck, he mumbled, "this baby's really putting me through the ringer, but i know it'll all be worth it."

you stiffened and he immediately tensed, holding his breath. he didn't mean to say that out loud.

he tried to keep you close but you managed to pull back and look at him. "baby?"

"well yeah..." he looked down to your stomach and back into your eyes.

your eyes narrowed, your left one starting to twitch. "i'm not pregnant."

slowly, he started to back up, eyes wide. "oh–i just..."

"i'm on my period, dumbass!"

he almost tripped on the rug behind him and ran for the door. "i'm gonna order your food baby okay! forget what i just said!"

ukai wasn't a superstitious man. but something about his dream last night was making him think you were pregnant. mainly because you were pregnant in the dream.

he walked into the living room and leaned against the wall as naturally as he could, though he felt more awkward than ever for some reason, glancing at you on the couch and looking away again and again. how should he ask this?

"have you ever thought about what it'd be like if we had one of those little shits running around the house?" he cringed internally, probably not like that.

your brows furrowed in confusion, "you mean a dog?"

a flash of irritation crossed his face, moreso at the fact that he phrased his question so poorly. what was he thinking?

"n-no not like a dog. like...a little minion, you know?"

you tilted your head, even more confused. "a minion?"

he sighed, exasperated "yeah, you know. like...like a kid. our kid."

your brows raised in surprise. "oh––well..." you paused for a moment. "i mean, of course i have."

"i think you're pregnant." he facepalmed in his mind.

"...what?" you looked around, not quite knowing what to think.

he simply nodded, convinced.

"are you saying i've gained weight?"

his eyes widened in panic and he crossed the room in two steps, coming to sit next to you on the couch. "no! no, of course not babe."

"well...then why do you think that?"

"i uh..." he scratched the back of his neck, looking around. "i had a dream."

"a dream?"

"yeah." he looked at you, curious. "have you had any dreams recently?"

"not that i remember..." you looked at him weirdly, slightly concerned by your boyfriend's strangeness. "what happened in your dream?"

"you were pregnant."

you blinked at him. "okay..."

he simply looked at you like you should understand where he was coming from.

"and how did dream you react?"

he placed his chin between his thumb and pointer finger, looking up as he tried to recall. a small smile appeared on his face, "well, i was pretty happy, pretty sure i almost had happy tears." he laughed, almost fondly.

you couldn't help but let a little smile slip at your ridiculous boyfriend. "kei, did you ever stop to think maybe your brain's trying to tell you that you want a baby?"

his lips parted in shock as he looked back to you, eyes blank, blinking as his brain recalibrated. "well...huh, maybe you're right babe."

your smile grew, "i'm always right."

he rolled his eyes playfully, a smirk on his face. "yeah, yeah."

©adoringhaikyuu 2024 please do not repost

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fluff #sugawara #sugawara x reader #sugawara fluff #terushima #terushima x reader #terushima fluff #ukai #ukai x reader #ukai fluff

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pseudonymjones · 1 month ago

Note

how do you be a mom and still have energy to finish comics? I'm asking sincerely as someone who wants to be a mom but is currently too scared that I'll lose my identity if I go through with it. If you've answered this before feel free to just link me to your response. And of course there's no actual obligation to reply.

Who is the mom who still has the energy to finish comics? Is the mom with the energy to finish comics in the room with us right now?

Ok ok, you’re asking sincerely so I’ll be really fucking for real right now. Here is how I manage to maintain my relatively meager comic output:

1. I have a day job that pays me well enough that I don’t need a second job, and I’m able to work remotely so I’m able to spend a little time with my family and do housework in my downtime.

2. I have a partner who supports the fucking hell out of me, recognizes how important Making Stuff is to my mental wellbeing, and does extra work to help me carve out a few hours a week to draw.

3. I cut way, WAY back on the scope of what I was trying to make. It may not look it at first but worm-in-a-rock god is a significant departure from my typical comic work — there’s no dialogue so no lettering or fussing about text layouts. It’s black and white, and each page is usually about 4 panels. Worm-in-a-rock god is about as simple of a character design as you can get. The first chapter barely had backgrounds. All that, and I’m still only clocking in at about a page a week. The whole thing came from a place of: I keep not being able to finish the things I want to make so I’m going to design a thing I can make with the time and energy I have.

So, uh: luck, love, and compromise. And a lot of hard work??? Same stuff that goes into making a kid. Same stuff that goes into making anything I guess. Sorry, I don’t have a secret.

And idk how to say this in a way that doesn’t seem cynical but you’re going to lose part of yourself. You’re 100% of a person now and the part of you that is going to be a mom has to come from somewhere. But it’s not a loss. It’s just a change, and you were going to change anyway. And I really like the part of me that changed into a mom.

Good luck, with whatever you end up making.

#ask pseu everything

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motorsportbarbie13 · 2 months ago

Text

Post It - Part 8 - LN4

when lando stumbles upon a random tiktok of a pretty american influencer, he can't stop himself from sliding into her DMs. what happens next is more than both of them ever bargained for.

warnings: angst and online hate. notes: i'm baaaaaack. i've got this series finished up for you even though i said i was going on a break. Part 9 will be up later this week. as always, extra thank yous to @lestapiastrisgirl for listening to me whine and complain and letting me bounce ideas off of her. <3 pairing: lando norris x influencer!reader word count: 3.5k words

|| - Part 1 || - Part 2 || - Part 3 || - Part 4 || - Part 5 || - Part 6 || -Part 7 Master List

Worry creases the space between your eyes as you watch Lando pace the the length of the living room in his Monaco apartment. After your run in with Allegra in Miami, you hadn’t seen her for the rest of the weekend. In fact, you hadn’t heard from her at all in the weeks after the race, which had started to make you nervous. Lando had insisted that this was a good thing, that maybe your hard launch with him had gotten her to back off but you knew better. You were familiar with women like Allegra and you knew that Miami wasn’t going to be the last time you had heard from her.

And you had been right.

“Lando, we need to go to Zak with these.” You plead from your spot on the couch. It had been hours since the texts had stopped but the threat remained. You knew she’d make good on her promises after reading how unhinged she was being. “Or at the very least let Corinne know so they’re not blindsided by whatever story she fabricates.”

Lando runs a shaky hand through his curls. “No.” He says, voice tight and thin. He stops pacing before turning to you, his eyes filled with a desperate kind of resolve. “No one else is going to see these. I’ll handle this by myself.”

“Handle it how, Lan?” You ask, your voice tight with concern. “By giving her what she wants? By breaking up with me?”

He flinches at your words, a flicker of pain crossing his face. “Jesus, baby. Of course not.” Crossing the room to sit next to you, he pulls you into his lap while his arms snake around your waist. “I would never. I’m not going to let her dictate my life. Not again.”

You run your fingers through his hair, the curls long and unruly from his refusal to get it cut because of how much you like it longer. “Then what are we going to do?” You drop an extra emphasis on ‘we’, desperately hoping that he realizes that you two are in this together now. You can practically feel the panic radiating off of him and you know you don’t have much time to prevent him from spinning off into oblivion.

“I just need to figure this out.” He mutters, more to himself than to you. “There has to be another way. Some way to make her stop without…” He lets the words hang in the air, his voice thick with dread.

“Without what, Lan?” You press as gently as you can. “Without her ruining everything?”

His eyes meet yours then and you see nothing but a desperate kind of vulnerability that has your heart squeezing painfully in your chest. He didn’t deserve this and you could kill Allegra for brining this kind of pain to your doorstep during one of Lando’s favorite race weeks of the entire season.

“Without her dragging you into this.” He says, voice barely a whisper. “You don’t deserve this. None of this is your problem and you shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

You reach out to cup his face, waiting a beat for him to look back at you and make eye contact. “Lando.” You say, firm but softly. “This isn’t just about you anymore. It’s not just about her either. It’s about us, you and me. And we’re not going to let her win.”

“But-” He starts, lips trying to form a coherent protest but you simply shake your head.

“No.” You say firmly, “We’re going to Zak. We’re going to Corinne. We’re going to tell them everything and we’re going to do it together. I’ll call Giselle on the way to the paddock and have her dial in too. This is an all hands on deck problem that we need help dealing with. You’re not alone in this anymore, okay?”

You knew your PR manager Giselle was going to lose her shit once she heard the story. She was huge on making sure your reputation was spotless and this was the kind of problem that was going to keep her up at night. You didn’t care though. Nothing else mattered beyond getting this chick out of your lives for good and making sure Lando knew this wasn’t his fault.

“This isn’t just some PR mess anymore, okay?” You wait a beat, letting your words sink in deeper. “This is blackmail and it could ruin your career. It’s not going to go away if we ignore it.”

Lando looks at you, gaze filled with a mixture of fear, embarrassment, and a hint of admiration. “You really think they’ll help?”

You scoff a bit before dusting a kiss over his cheek. “I know they will. You’re like a son to Zak, he’d move mountains for you. And Corinne? She may play the exasperated press officer, but she adores you. Everyone does, okay? And no one is going to want you to deal with this alone. They’re not going to let her get away with this. We’re in this together, my love. Always. Okay?”

It takes a moment but eventually Lando nods. “Okay. Let’s go talk to Zak.”

You probably could have cut the tension in Zak’s office with a butter knife. The McLaren CEO usually prided himself on being a calm beacon in what normally was a chaotic and busy sport. Not today though. Today, the room was tense as you sat next to Lando across from Zak. Corinne stood in the corner, arms crossed. On Zak’s desk sat your phone, with Giselle on the other end in her office back in Boston.

“It was never real.” Lando insists as he finishes reciting the history of his ‘relationship’ with Allegra. “Rich introduced us. He said it would be good for my image, good for her career. We did a few staged appearances in Monaco and London but we were never alone behind closed doors. There was always someone from my circle with us. That’s it. Nothing more.”

Lando runs a hand through his har, sighing deeply out of frustration. Beside him, you reach out a hand, placing it on his thigh, hoping the gesture will ground him in some way. You can feel the waves of anxiety rolling off of him and you want nothing more than to fix this mess for him.

“I ended it with Allegra months ago, before we even met in person.” He glances over at you, eyes going soft. “I told her it was over but she won’t let it go.” He pulls out his phone then, the screen displaying the threatening texts. “She’s claiming we were together and that I cheated on her. Now she’s threatening to go to the press with ‘proof’ if we don’t break up and I hard launch with her instead by tomorrow.”

Corinne leans forward, brows furrowed. “What kind of proof?” Her voice is sharp, like she almost doesn’t believe him. Your hackles rise at her tone and you turn to glare at her. The last thing you were going to allow was someone to put the blame on Lando for this.

“She didn’t say.” Lando replies grimly. “But knowing her, it’ll be fabricated. Texts, photos…anything to make her story believable.”

Zak rubs at his temples and sighs. “This is a mess. We need to get ahead of this. If she goes public, it’s going to be a disaster. And during Monaco race week too?” He looks over at Corinne. “How bad do you think this could be?”

Before Corinne can answer, another staffer bursts into the office, the door practically shaking on its hinges. “Zak.” He stammers, totally breathless. “TMZ…they just dropped the story. It’s everywhere. They have screenshots of texts and photos of them kissing. Everyone is losing their minds.”

A heavy silence descends upon the room, the weight of the situation pressing down on everyone. Lando’s jaw tightens, his eyes flashing with anger. “Fucking hell. She did it.” He growls, low and dangerous.

Zak’s eyes narrow, expression grim. “Show me.” He commands sharply.

The staffer holds out his phone, the screen displaying the TMZ article, the headline screaming accusations of infidelity and betrayal. The ‘proof’ was there, fabricated texts displayed for the world to see, a twisted narrative designed to Destry Lando’s reputation and your relationship.

The room falls into stunned silence, the air thick with disbelief and a uneasy sense of urgency. The TMZ article was a total bombshell, carefully contracted to inflict maximum damage. The fabricated texts, displayed at the top of the article, paint a damming picture of your boyfriend’s supposed infidelity, a betrayal that threatened to unravel his reputation and relationship with you.

“This is outrageous.” From Zak’s desk, Giselle speaks up firmly, her surprisingly calm voice cutting through the silence. “Allegra clearly planned this. The timing, the ‘evidence’, it’s being done right now to cause maximum chaos.”

Zak nods grimly. “We need to respond quickly and decisively. We can’t let this narrative take hold.” He turns to Lando, looking at the young driver with a mixture of determination and concern. “These texts are completely fabricated, right? I need you to be honest with me, is there any shred of truth to any of this?”

“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head. “I swear to all of you, these are lies. I still have every single text she ever sent to me. Everything I sent to Rich too. Every email, every text, every conversation we ever had that was in writing is saved. We were never really together, this was all a PR stunt.”

You reach over to take Lando’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze in hopes he’ll feel the silent support you’re sending him. You knew the truth and you trusted him implicitly. Anyone who was close to you and Lando would see right through it, you knew that. But you also knew the public wasn’t going to be very kind. The truth often took a backseat to sensational headlines and online outrage.

“Okay.” Zak says, pulling your attention back onto him. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Corinne, I want a statement drafted immediately. We need to be clear and unquivocal: these allegations are false and the ‘evidence’ is fabricated. We’ll release it through all of our official channels.”

Corinne nods, her fingers already flying across the keyboard of her phone. “I’ll need Lando to sign off on it.” She says without lifting her eyes off the screen. “And we need to be prepared for a media onslaught. This is going to be a feeding frenzy, especially with today being media day.”

Zak turns to the staffer, his expression stern. “Get legal on the phone. I want to explore our options for handling this in court. This is defamation, pure and simple. We’re not going to let them get away with this.”

He looks at you and Lando then, his expression sofenting slightly. “This is going to be tough.” He says, shaking his head. “But we’ll get through this. You both have the full support of the entire team both here in the paddock and back at the factory. We’re going to fight this and we’ll prove it’s all false.” He pauses before shifting his gaze to Lando. “You’re going to need to be strong and clear and you’re going to need to trust us.”

Zak then moves to look at you, his expression softening even further. “We’ll do everything in our power to protect you from this too. You don’t deserve to be caught up in this.” His eyes drop down to where your phone sits. “Giselle, you have Corinne’s direct line. You let her know what you need and you’ll have our full support too. We’ll get through this.”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

McLaren Racing Statement Regarding Recent Allegations

McLaren Racing is aware of the recent allegations circulating in the media regarding Lando Norris. We categorically deny the claims of infidelity and the veracity of the fabricated evidence presented.

It has come to our attention that false and malicious information has been disseminated with the intent to damage the reputation of Lando Norris and *your name*. We are deeply concerned by the deliberate attempt to manipulate public perception through the creation and distribution of fabricated texts and misleading narratives.

Lando Norris has been a valued member of the McLaren Racing team for many years, and we stand firmly behind him. We have thoroughly investigated the claims and have found them to be completely unfounded. We are appalled that anyone would resort to such tactics to inflict harm.

Furthermore, we wish to express our unwavering support for *your name*, who has been unfairly and unjustly targeted in this campaign of misinformation. We condemn any attempt to drag innocent parties into personal disputes and to subject them to unwarranted public scrutiny.

We are currently exploring all legal avenues to address this egregious breach of privacy and to hold those responsible accountable for their actions. We will not tolerate the spread of lies and the deliberate attempt to tarnish the reputations of our team members.

We urge the media and the public to exercise caution and critical thinking when consuming information from unreliable sources. We will continue to provide accurate and transparent information through official McLaren channels.

We appreciate the support of our fans and partners during this challenging time. We remain focused on the upcoming race and on achieving our goals on the track.

f1.gossip.source posted

f1.gossip.source in a bomshell report, TMZ released an article full of text messages and photos from Lanod's old supposed situationship @/its_allegra_babes today. McLaren quickly responded to the report claiming it was all false and that Lando had never been in a relationship with the model. They are apparently persuing legal action against both TMZ and Allegra, claiming defemation and that the text messages were falsafied. Lando has repeadetly refused to answer any questions related to his personal life during the Monaco race weekend, further adding to the speculation that he is guilty of cheating with his now-girlfriend @/yourusername. What do we think folks? Who do we believe??? user928 i fucking KNEW that girl wasn't as wholesome as she appears. >>>user223 right??? total homewrecker user029 anyone who thinks Lando wrote those text messages that were in the TMZ article is dumber than a box of rocks. user019 you can't even see his face in any of the photos!!!! user929 this reeeeeeeks of jealous on allegra's part user2029 idk the way @/yourusername was avoiding the paddock this weekend and has gone radio silent when she is usually all up in her stories when she's with lando is sus af >>>user282 she's guilty. she knew lando and allegra were together and she went along with it.

The fall out from Allegra’s article in TMZ is swift and immediate. The paddock is abuzz with accusations and whispers that followed both you and Lando around all weekend. McLaren’s statement had been quick and forceful, effectively silencing anyone in the paddock who tried to bring it up during any interview with Lando.

On the advice of Giselle, you had chosen to remain silent beyond releasing your own short statement on your instagram saying that you stood behind your boyfriend and believed that all of the allegations brought forward in the TMZ article were lies. You had turned your comments off and left your phone in Lando’s apartment for the weekend.

On Saturday night, when you’d usually be out to dinner with Lando and some of the other drivers ahead of the race the next day, you and your boyfriend instead chose to lay low in his apartment instead.

The apartment, usually a haven of tranquility and quiet respite, felt suffocating tonight though. The air was thick with the weight of the weekend’s events. Lando had qualified P2 behind Oscar, but the celebration of a McLaren front row lockout had been somewhat subdued.

Lando sat on the edge of the sofa, shoulders slumped, the energy that had fueled is driver earlier in the day now replaced with heart exhaustion. You sit beside him, head tucked into the crook of his neck, legs slung over his as you tried to offer some sort of silent support. The initial shock of the scandal had subsided and in it’s place settled a weary air of acceptance. The damage had been done, the lies were out there, swirling through the digital world, posing the public’s perception of both you and your boyfriend.

“I’m so sorry, my love.” You murmur against his neck, still sweaty from the exertion of a hard qualifying run earlier in the day. Your heart aches for him, seeing the way he had nearly melted into the couch after arriving home just a few minutes ago. “This isn’t fair.”

Lando looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude. “It’s not.” He agrees roughly. “But we’ll get through this. We always do.”

“I know.” You place a dusting of kisses on his neck, up his jaw, before finally landing on his lips. “But it’s still a lot for you to handle.”

He nods, lifting a hand to frame your face before smiling sadly at you. “I feel like I’ve let you down.” He confesses after a moment. “I promised to protect you from all of this and I didn’t.”

“Baby, this isn’t your fault.” You say gently.

He looks at you with a flicker of doubt in his eyes. “But it is.” He insists. “If I hand’t…” He trails off, unable to articulate the way his heart is aching in his chest, the way the guilt feels like it’s going to drown him alive, the way he wants all of this to just…stop. “If I hadn’t been so careless, if I hadn’t…”

“Lando.” You interrupt, voice firm. “Stop. You are not responsible for her actions. You didn’t do anything wrong. You trusted the wrong people and tried to make things better, that’s it.”

He sighs, shoulders slumping. “I know.” He murmurs so softly you can barely hear him. “It still feels like…”

“Like it’s your fault?” You finish for him. “Like you somehow brought this on yourself?”

He nods, his gaze fixed on the floor.

You reach out, gently tilting his chin up so he’s forced to look at you again. “Lan, this isn’t your fault. This is on her and her miserable attempt to drag you down with her. She saw you were happy and couldn’t stand it. This sits squarely with her and I promise you, she’s not going to get away with this.”

He looks at you then, a flicker of hope retiring to his eyes. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” You say, dropping a kiss onto his nose before pulling back to look into his eyes again. “We’ll get through this. We’ll clear our names and we’ll come out stronger on the other side. Together.”

He finally smiles then. It’s wary but it’s the most genuine smile you’ve seen from him since this entire fiasco started.

“I love you.” He whispers, confession hanging heavy in the air between you.

Your heart hammers in your chest. The words hand’t been quite out of left field if you were being honest. You’d felt the same way for a while now but you had been afraid to put the feeling out in the open, worrying that it was too soon or that Lando didn’t feel the same. A genuine smile blooms across your face as tears prick the back of your eyes.

“I love you too.” You whisper.

Lando leans in, his lips brushing against yours, a soft tentative touch that quickly deepens into something more urgent, hungrier, like he can’t get enough of the way you taste.

When Lando pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, breath warm against your cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He confesses thickly. “You’ve been my rock through all of this.”

“And you’ve been mine.” You reply softly, peppering quick kisses along the strong line of his jaw. “We’re in this together, remember?”

He nods, eyes searching yours and you can feel that there’s a question he wants to ask you. “About tomorrow…” He starts hesitantly. “Do you still want to come to the race? I understand if you want to stay here.”

You hesitate, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. The thought of facing the paddock, the reporters and the fans, fills you with a sense of dread. But you also know that staying away would be seen as admission of guilt, a sign of weakness.

“I don’t know. I’m going to miss Spain next week already with my trip to New Zealand…” You’d had this trip planned to get content for Pretty Little Lens for almost a year now and Lando had been totally in support of it, even suggesting that he join you after the race because the grid had 2 weeks off before the next race in Canada. You hated to miss another race when you were already here. Missing two races in a row after this would also cause more rumors to swirl, you both knew that.

“I want to be there for you…”

“But you’re worried.” He finishes for you, his hand finding yours before intertwining his fingers with yours and giving it a squeeze. “I understand. You don’t have to go if you’d rather stay out of the spotlight. It won’t be easy tomorrow.”

The look in his eyes, the defeat and the way his shoulders slump down a little more despite his attempts to be supportive make the decision easy for you. “No.” You say firmly. “I’m going. I can’t let them scare me away and I can’t let Allegra get what she wants. We should go together, show them that we have nothing to be ashamed of. We didn’t do anything wrong and we shouldn’t need to hide.” You pause, an idea striking you suddenly. “But…” You say carefully. “Maybe we can arrive a little later? Avoid the rush and media circus?”

Lando nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “I am known for my inability to be on time.”

You chuckle, allowing Lando to pull you into his lap. Your arms circle his neck before you nuzzle into his neck. Dragging in a deep inhale, you let the smell of his cologne surround you. Citrus and spice and all Lando. Comforting. Yours.

He pulls you closer, his warmth a warm have of comfort that you’ve grown to depend on in the last few months. “Thank you.” He whispers against your neck. “For everything. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lando.”

f1.gossip.source posted

f1.gossip.source despite both going silent on all social media platforms after posting personal and team statements, @/yourusername and @/lando still showed up hand in hand today ahead of the first practice session of the weekend. Lando refused to answer any questions regarding his personal life and both the driver and influencer looked noticbly tense. The couple were some of the last people to arrive to the paddock so there wasn't much time for the media to pry. The McLaren driver has been accused of cheating on his ex-girlfriend and participating in a PR relationship with the American influencer @/yourusername. McLaren and Lando both catagorically deny any wrong doing and say that the proof provided by Allegra is fabricated and false. Who should we believe??? user8187 idk, they looked genuinely upset while walking in this morning. Why would McLaren post such a public statement if Allegra was right about everything? >>>user929 they looked upset because they've been exposed!!! user112 i always thought their soft launching so quick was weird. it's giving 'oh look a shiny new toy to distract me from my real problems' >>>user928 seriously. they hard launched SO QUICK. Something doesn't add up. user847 i always knew there was something off about her. #teamallegra user1883 there's no WAY these two are PR. Are we all forgetting how forced and miserable allegra and lando ALWAYS looked??? Compared to these two??? >>>user9288 seriously. we moved on much too quickly from the allegra/lando PR allegations. No way she's telling the truth. user928 #teamyourname and thats a hill i'll die on >>>user9992 fucking SAME

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hotchnersangel · 3 months ago

Text

STRIKES

Aaron Hotchner.

t/w: abusive relationship, toxic themes, speeding, injuries, bruises, protective hotch, emotional abuse etc

**do not read if these trigger you**

….

If self-sabotage was a person, every detail of every description in every byline would lead to you. You never meant for the outcome of your life to end this way but suddenly you lost your spark and the team started to notice. It started when you no longer went to every outing the BAU had, at first the team thought you were busy and they shortly found out you were. You were in a relationship.

The relationship between you and Alex was quick in growing and passion swiftly followed. During the honeymoon period- he was your everything. The team could see by the way you spoke so fondly of him. Over the course of 4 months, they eventually met Alex. From what you had seen, the team got on with him. All was finally well until it wasn't. After a dinner with Rossi in his mansion and the rest of the team, Alex was unhappy with Aaron Hotchner and how you acted around him. He created this idea that you and Aaron had something going on and he asked you politely to cut him off.

"He has a thing for you, how can you not see that?" He furrows his brows as he clenches his hand around the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white and his tone drops into a deeper one.

"He is my boss, Alex." you retort, reminding him that he has nothing to worry about. "You're being silly."

At those words, he inhales sharply and looks at you harshly. "Silly? I tell you how I feel and you tell me my feelings are invalid?" He shouts at you now, his hand hitting the steering wheel making you flinch slightly.

"Alex, no- can you just slow down please?" You say quieter now, holding onto the side of the car as you notice the way he is starting to flatten hid foot on the gas and speed. You do not recognise the man you are in the car with at the moment and that scares you.

He smirks slightly at your discomfort. "Why? You scared sweetie?" He condescends you, pressing further onto the gas pedal and starting to drive recklessly. "It's fine babe, you're just being silly."

That is when you reach a turning point in your relationship. You turned up to work the next day with a fake smile, then a fake one after that until your happiness was turned into a luxury.

The night after your argument, he seemed apologetic. His hand caressed your cheek as you looked at him with sad eyes. "You really scared me."

"I know, baby- Fuck..." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I was just angry and I'm sorry. I Love you, you know I love you."

And so, you forgave him. Big mistake.

The team didn't clock onto your unusual behaviour until Alex was brought into a conversation and you froze up slightly. Aaron had noticed, of course, he had noticed the look of fear that caressed your eyes screaming to get out. But, your words betrayed that theory. "Yeah, we are doing good."

You started to go home late, blaming it on paperwork that needed to be filled. That is when you started to show up to work looking worse for wear. You would have deep bags under your eyes like you had not got an ounce of sleep and you filled your coffee up an extra 1.2% more per day, according to Reid. Sometimes you would show up with smudged mascara from the night before, maybe even a face full of makeup from the night before. Though, you never usually wore a lot of makeup to work.

You grew distant from your team, your friends and your family. Alex even tried to convince you to quit your job but you declined his attempts.

About a year into your relationship with Alex, the second strike occurred. During an argument, he grabbed your arm. It was like the world stopped spinning at the force he did it with. You will forever remember the way his fingers clenched until they were bleached white with fury and the claustrophobic tingle radiating through your body as his grip didn't loosen. You were stood in your shared kitchen, having moved in together- into his apartment.

You looked towards him in a panic, tears burning and pricking the back of your eyes. It was like the breath was whipped from your chest and all you wanted was to break free. "Get off of me," you whisper fragile and frail as you plead for your freedom. Which he does, immediately and you rush into your bedroom and towards the window. Silent tears fell from your cheeks as you examined your arm. Freshly red and swollen as an instant bruise from the intensity of his grip scars the innocence of your gentle skin. The harsh tone was prominent against the natural colour of your skin. At that moment, you wanted your team but you felt so alone. So, you settled for Alex.

He followed you into the room shortly rested his hand on your shoulder and frowned. "Babe, I'm sorry. I love you so much, I'm sorry I didn't mean to grab you that hard."

You don't look at him.

"Babe, look at me..." Slowly, you do and he wipes the tears from your cheeks with a tender touch, a sharp contrast to how he was just gripping you- and you close your eyes at his touch. "Don't cry, you're too pretty to cry."

"You hurt me." You frown at him, his gaze falling to the markings on your arm and he holds his fingers against the bridge of his nose. "Did I do that?"

You nod, looking out of the window.

"Come on, let me bandage it up." He says softly, guiding you Into the bathroom as he cares for the wound that he caused so diligently. He mutters an 'I love you' every few moments.

What a fool you feel for staying but the love for him defeats any emotion otherwise you could hold towards him. This is when the excuses come out.

At work, five of you pile into one SUV, Hotch in the driver's seat- JJ beside him in the passenger seat then in the back was you squished between Morgan and Rossi. As Morgan got into the car, he pushed against your arm and you flinched in pain, pulling your arm to your chest and hissing in pain. "Ouch,"

He looked worriedly over you, everyone in the car doing so.

"Have you hurt yourself?" Aaron asks through the mirror, looking towards you skeptically. You go silent and sigh.

"Just caught it I guess. It's probably stiff from all the paperwork we have been doing," you joke and the team laughs, Aaron however does not.

"Hotch, you gotta stop giving her so much paperwork-" Morgan says playfully as we start driving towards the precinct to meet up with Spencer and Emily.

"She gets the same as you."

"It seems like it takes you forever," Morgan continues looking at you. "When was the last time you left on time?"

You sigh and look at him, "I'm dyslexic, It takes longer for me to read and write it." You tell them and it isn't a lie, just you have purposely been ensuring things are better for Hotch so he can get home to Jack sooner.

"You can say that, you messaged me the other day asking if the squatting was successful." JJ giggled, smiling fondly at you. "Luckily I speak your language fluently and understood you were not asking about my gym session but the swatting."

A few weeks later, you had gotten home late and Alex started an argument about missing his family meal. You had just got back from a case and there was no option or way you could have got back In time but he would not accept that answer.

"Were you fucking cheating on me?" He shouts at you, his pupils dark as he steps towards you, backing you against the wall. Under his stare, you flustered which made him assume you did. He grabbed you by the neck. You cried. He apologised. You excused it as an accident.

The next day, you turned up to work in a turtle neck. No one had ever seen you in a turtle neck but suddenly the next few weeks meant you had to wear them.

You were called out to another case that week and the team had to share hotel rooms. JJ and Emily bunked up. Spencer and Morgan bunked up, Rossi outwardly refused to share a room and so you were left to room with Hotch.

At the end of the day, you were in your room on the phone with Alex. Aaron was with the rest of the team at dinner on their way back.

"I miss you, babe," he sighed into the phone, "Where are you now?"

"In the hotel in Nashville... I think the team are on their way back now." You tell him, standing to face the window- the view was beautiful despite the cheaper hotel than the usual BAU budget would afford.

"How is everyone?" He asks plainly and you state a 'good'.

"Good, I'm sharing a room with the girls-" you lie and you feel awful, but he would actually kill you if he knew you were sharing with Aaron.

Although the universe seems to hate you as after saying that, the door opens and Aaron walks in and fails to notice that you are on the phone. "Hey, I brought you some food back-"

"Who the hell was that?" Alex says abruptly, a harsh venom laced in his undertone, "That better not be who I think it is."

You sigh silently cursing the universe and you turn to Aaron and catch his eye, he furrows his brows at your perplexed state. You clear your throat and look back to the window.

"Alex... don't do that please, it's not like that." You say in a hushed tone, feeling awkward knowing Aaron can hear everything going on between the two of you and you swore to yourself you would never let any members of the team see this side of your relationship due to the easy suggestions that it was becoming toxic and hostile, which you believed it wasn’t.

"You expect me to believe you? I knew it, I fucking knew you were a whore-" He shouts and you turn the volume down on your phone panicked, intense clicking which made it more obvious that you were trying to be suspicious- yet it seems to blast out ten times louder and your heart starts to race to the point you could hear it pulsing in your ears.

"Alex-"

"No- we will talk when you get home but best believe you're going to regret cheating on me." He states darkly and your breath picks up.

"Alex, listen to me please-"

"No, you can have nothing to say to me right now."

"I love you." You plea in return, your voice coming out exhausted, worn down and emotional. The love you have for this man was so evident in the way you even addressed him.

"I am disappointed in you,” you feel a part of your heart shatter. “You have done this- not me," he shouts through the phone and hangs up, leaving you to stare into the distance, the abyss full of spiralling worries cascading around your body as your mind is sucked further down the turmoil. The abrupt silence was ear piercingly loud. Aaron's sat on the bed on his phone but you just know that he heard every word.

Again, Alex has left you silently crying at the window. After a moment, you wipe your eyes that streamed with frozen tears which made your emotions obvious and Aaron sits up alarmed at the action. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," you whisper and go to the bathroom, taking one glimpse and crying at your reflection in the mirror. You stare into the mirror, the deep bruise on your neck feeling tight and wildly suffocating suddenly. You rest your hand over the bruise softly, reliving the cruel memory at the hand of the man you love and you throw on a hoodie, pulling the neckline to cover the raging discolouration. You walk back into the room and take the food Aaron brought you back.

"I'm sorry you heard that." You say softly, not looking at him but looking ahead, turning your side of the light off so he would not catch sight of your neck.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, looking towards you with worry and noticing how you can not look at him. "How often does he talk to you like that? "

"Not often- we just are struggling with the distance is all..."

"He should never talk to you like that." He states firmly, his tone still laced with an unknown softness.

"Thank you for dinner."

“Of course,” Aaron sighs with little content, worry very evidently etched onto his features creating an unnecessary frown against his aging soft skin. “Try get some sleep, yeah?”

The next few days brought a struggle to hide all the injuries marked on your body, if Aaron hadn’t seen so much of the conversation last night- you would have given some more leeway but you knew his suspicions were high. However, on the very last night Aaron caught a glimpse of your throat as you itched your neck, a hardly noticeable action that could be played off as a shadow, but Aaron knew deep down that despite the slither of hope he nursed within, that it was not the case. That a deep purple bruise rests under your turtle neck. He waits until you are in the safety of your shared hotel room to inquire about the injury but he already knows what has happened.

"Show me." He states simply, looking at you as you lay on your single bed. You furrow your brows, looking at him confused as you stand up nervously and move towards the window once again, taking in the sights.

"What?" You inquire.

"Show me your neck." He states and your world quite literally stops. An incessant ringing echoes through your ears desperately wanting a plea, your head feeling so dizzy at the continuous sound buzzing away, the sudden weight heaved onto your merely strong shoulders felt like too big a burden to carry and you slowly realised that it was time to accept your fate. You failed.

He stands up, moving towards you now and you shake your head, laughing softly. "Oh- that, that's nothing. I'm clumsy you wouldn't believe the story-"

"No, I won't because I have an idea who did that to you. Please, show me." He comes closer and he moves his hand up, maybe too quickly with the severity of the situation but every movement was transferred with care and non-malicious intent, simply Aaron’s desire to protect you from your demons, from the evil you are surrounded by, however you could not help but flinch.

"What has happened to you?" He asks softly, retreating his hand apologetically, his face contorts to one you have never seen before. Affectionate. Caring. Melancholy. You look at him once more, trying to shake your head and laugh to make humour of the situation but your walls break down involuntarily and a tear falls from your eyes, betraying your integrity.

"It's fine, it was just an accident." You excuse after a long pause and Aaron rests his hand on your shoulder, slower and gentle this time, almost like a feather touch that you could barely even feel.

"Come here," he rests his hands on your back and the back of your head, holding you delicately as he pulls you in for a hug. More tears fall from your eyes. "This isn't okay, people that love you would never hurt you, okay?"

"Really, it was an accident and he was just angry-"

"No level of anger should ever resort in you being hurt." He says firmly, a burning fire raging inside of him. "Especially not to the levels you have been assaulted-"

"He loves me-"

"No, he loves manipulating you" Aaron stated bluntly, knowing you need to hear it no matter how painful that realisation may be.

“I know.” You admit after another comfortable yet tense moment, your voice merely a whisper.

You went to bed shortly after that, though you did not sleep a wink, never even tried and neither did Aaron. You just lay in your separate beds, in silence, his presence offering you safety and a warmth you had not felt in a long time.

"You should break up with him."

There was silence, until you rolled over, to face the wall, uttering two words that encouraged the darkness both physically and emotionally . "I can't."

part two here

#aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #agent hotchner #hotch #hotchner x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x you #tw abuse

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a-killer-obsession · 1 year ago

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OKAY I DID IT, I FIGURED OUT THE LAYOUT

Disclaimer: it seems like the size of the ship changes every time we see it, but the newest eps vs wano seem pretty consistent so I went with that and used Wire's height for scale

Floor layouts under the cut ✂️

Edit: you can find clearer/more detailed versions here

Layout based on the 31 member crew that Oda confirmed. I also took in to account that a significant portion of the members are fucking massive, so everything is bigger which matches the scale it's drawn in. Floors are approx 5m high with 2m wide doors in most places, which makes sense when a good portion of the crew are 3m tall.

Sorry about my handwritting lmao I'm so tired but I have serious brainworms and couldn't sleep

The specifics:

Kid's Floor

Of course he has his own floor

Quarters include his own private dining space which I imagine would also include a workdesk, bedroom with king sized bed and probably a couch, walk in closet, and bathroom definitely large enough for a massive tub

Workshop also has bathroom entrance for when he's feelin lazy

Ladder space in the middle goes straight through, this is so crew going to the castle deck don't access his floor

Commander's floor

Heat, Wire and Killer have their own rooms and a private lounge just for them and Kid

Heat and Wire share a large bathroom, definitely big enough for normal bath

Heat and Killer have king sized beds, Wire's bed is almost as wide as a king but mostly it's made especially long

Small decking that runs the whole way around, unspoken rule that crew aren't allowed there since windows peer into commander's rooms

Killer could probably fit a drumkit in his room 👀

Cannon Deck

We get peeks of this in the anime and in Oda's notes but they're fuzzy so I just did my best

Made a mistake tho, cannon platform should be whole way around back like a U shape to account for 3 cannons facing backwards, total 9 cannons

Theoretically this is where the helm should be so uh that's where I put it

Screenshots make it look like they also store a lot of other weapons here

Main deck

Forecastle includes navigation room with bookcases, central table, and desk for paperwork

Forecastle also has infirmary with two longer than normal beds to account for larger crewmates, and a desk for crew doctor to keep notes

Door between nav and infirmary cos Kid is lazy

Kitchen and pantry. Given the rooms are 5m from floor to ceiling I imagine that pantry would have a small mezzanine accessed by a ladder to take advantage of vertical space (and would be a sick place to nap)

Galley/dining hall contains 3 bench style tables, seating 10 large crewmates each, with one extra fancy chair at the end of one for Kid

Lower deck

Did my best to do some math to figure out how many larger than normal beds were required and decided on 6 bunks for 12 larger crewmates

Additional rooms for average sized crewmates include 4 rooms with 2 bunks each, and one room with 1 bunk, making for a total of 30 beds below deck. That means, counting the commanders for the 31, there are currently 3 empty beds, so a few rooms aren't complete full

Probably looks like fuck all space but its actually significant for a ship living quarters

According to google you only need 1 toilet per 10 people and 1 shower per 40 but that seems like BS. Bathroom has 4 large, accessible sized toilets, 4 showers, long benches down the center and a long counter with plenty of space and mirrors for makeup, given how many crewmates wear it

Also, storage room. Could be converted to extra room for another bunk

Hold

Access via ladder

4 cells. No toilets, you get a bucket ✌️ tbh might not even have beds but there's room for em anyway

Desk in case they need to keep an eye on prisoners

3 storage rooms, but i think one of these would actually be a torture room. Probably the one by the desk.

Mechanisms for power and water are probably in one of these rooms as well as a lot of materials for ship repairs

Also of note

Crows nest is definitely big enough for a bench, definitely big enough for... activities. Not as big as the Sunny's though I dont think a gym would fit, I think it'd be more likely that gym equipment is kept on the cannon deck

Idk if the mizzenmast is supposed to go all the way through but that physically can't happen with where the helm needs to be based on screenshots so ✌️

Crows nests are definitely access via climbing nets

Please absolutely feel free to use this as a reference for fanfictions, but I'd appreciate a shout out if you do 💖

#one piece fanart #one piece #kid pirates #one piece fanfiction #one piece headcanons

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buddierealm · 2 months ago

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ʚ MISTAKES NEVER LAST — e. diaz x reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 Summary: You go on a coffee date. Nothing can go wrong, right? Wordcount: 3.6k Warnings: pseudocheating?? (bc of shannon), mentions of nsfw content, mentions of alcohol, straight up loser4loser A/N: idk just be prepared to watch ppl who have no idea what they’re doing date

You mutually decide on a coffee date. By mutually, you mean he suggested a full blown dinner and 50 back-and-forth texts later, you’d talked him out of it. So, on your Sunday morning off you find yourself getting ready to meet at a local coffee shop nearby. You had been the one to decide where you'd go, him being new and all, and you chose somewhere less than 10 minutes away from both of your places.

You dress casually, and take a minimal amount of time getting ready. This is supposed to be a casual date, after all. You arrive a little earlier, too, taking the time to look over the menu. As he walks through the coffee shop doors, though, you realize he might've put a little extra effort into his outfit. They’re just jeans and a button up, but he looks a bit more done up than how he is at work. It makes sense though, you suppose. Everyone looks a little better when they aren't being threatened by the imminent idea of an emergency situation emerging at any moment.

His eyes light up when they meet yours, because of course they do. Like they could have any more sparkle. You get up and smile at him, he returns the gesture and makes his way over to hug you.

You have a moment when it happens. A flashback, of sorts, to a few weeks ago, when he had those very same arms wrapped around you, with completely different intentions. The memory is less than productive at keeping you cool and calm in his presence, though, so you try your best to shunt it out of your brain. When you pull away a few seconds later, it's thankfully long gone.

His smile hasn't left his face, “Hey. Did I keep you waiting? I'm sorry, amor.”

You shake your head in protest, “No, you're all good. I was a little early, actually.”

You both sit across from one another at a corner table. You exchange pleasantries and make small talk. The topic of his kid comes up and you're undeniably curious to find out more about him.

“This is him,” Eddie says, pulling a picture of him and his son up. He looks unbelievably proud to be showing him off, and it makes your chest flutter, for some reason.

You've never been one for kids, finding them a little overstimulating to be around, but this one's pretty damn cute.

“He's adorable. Are you taking care of him all by yourself?” you ask, an underlying question's being asked too. Where's his mom? Is she still in the picture?

“Uh, yeah. For now. Buck's been trying to help me find someone. He has CP, Cerebral Palsy, so it isn't exactly easy. But he's my whole heart. He has my full focus right now,” he rambles. You find it cute.

He laughs awkwardly, as he realizes what he'd just said, “Not exactly the best thing to say on a first date, is it? I'm just trying to be as open as possible. I've heard it helps.”

You nod, “Sure does. And no, I think it's the perfect thing to say. I admire it. Not everyone's so open about the things they prioritize, and it gets to be a problem later.”

He frowns, as if he might be contemplating something. Then, he agrees with a mumble.

You cut the awkward silence by suggesting you order your drinks. You give him your order and he gets up to order both of your drinks at the counter. While he waits for them, his phone rings at the table. Once, twice, three times. You think about getting up and giving him the phone, but opt out of butting in, not wanting to seem nosy. The phone stops ringing, and he comes back to the table, drinks in hand.

You dive back into easy conversation, again. Around five minutes later, his phone rings again. He excuses himself, and responds. It's clear it isn't a good phone call. He avoids saying the words, but you can make out what's going on. He has to leave.

He hangs up and looks at you with a grimace, “I'm so-“

You shake your head immediately, “Nope. You're alright. I get it.”

He gets up immediately, grabbing his paper coffee cup. He apologizes anyway, and kisses your cheek as he passes by.

He pauses, “I'll make it up to you. I promise, okay?”

“Okay,” you respond quietly.

As he leaves and you stay, staring at your own paper cup, with his name sprawled onto it, you realize: this is why you didn't want a dinner date.

At home, you FaceTime Hen and confide in her about all of it. The one night stand, the incessant flirting (which she'd already picked up on, as had everyone in the firehouse), the coffee date, and the getting blown off.

“You should talk to him about it, he probably actually had an emergency.”

“I know, but I don't want him to feel cornered into having to date me. He did say his priorities lie with his son, and I wouldn't want to intrude, y'know?” you explain, your phone set up on the counter, as you prepare dinner.

She gave you a look through the screen that said 'Really?'. She wan't buying any of it.

“You know what? I'm so very wrong for calling you. You're the one who got me in this mess in the first place,” you tell her.

“Okay, okay. How was I supposed to know you were gonna pick the worst possible candidate for a one night stand?”

You roll your eyes, stirring your pot of pasta, and turning down the heat.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” you respond.

Your phone pings a moment later, and you see Eddie's name pop up on your screen. Your face softens up immediately and you smile a little.

“Ohh, is it loverboy?”

“What?! No!” you lie, willing your face to contort into a frown. “It's my landlord. He needs his money. Bye, Hen. I'll see you tomorrow.”

She laughs and hangs up the call. You sigh and open up the message.

Hey. You probably don't want anything to do with me right now. But I just wanted to let you know that I am planning on making it up to you. And I'm sorry.

You laugh at his text. He's being incredibly dramatic, but you like it. Being fawned over like this, it's nice. You text him back, reassuring him that it's really fine and you're hoping his emergency was taken care of.

By the time you're done eating dinner, you've already convinced yourself that he isn't going to respond and you stop checking your phone every 5 minutes. Instead, you do it every 10 minutes, up until you're brushing your teeth and you hear your phone ringing on the bathroom counter. It's Eddie. You quickly spit your toothpaste out and wait a few seconds to respond, so as not to seem desperate.

“Hi, hermosa. Did I wake you up?” he asks.

“No, you're fine. I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Yeah?” you can hear his smile through the phone, “I had to explain why I left so suddenly, since you seemed so worried.”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, just worried something happened to your cute kid. Don't have a big head about it.”

“Christopher's fine. Just a family-related emergency, and it's alright now. No need to worry your pretty little head.”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, letting out a breath of relief you didn't even know you were holding.

“You sure you have to sleep now? Are you free for a bit?” he whispers.

“No, yeah,” you answer quickly, “I mean, yes. I'm free. Our shift's not until 9, so.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do this first date thing over the phone? It isn't the best, but I do want to get to know you. And it's a little difficult at home right now,” you can hear his disappointment through the speaker, and it's endearing.

“I don't mind,” you reassure him, “I mean, you're not doing it on purpose, so I get it.”

You spend the night talking about everything. Your favorite music, your childhoods (not exactly any trauma, but some nostalgia), all the places you've travelled, his kid, your family, anything and everything you can think of. Time passes so quickly, you barely register being tired. Eventually, the sun comes up and you both realize you have to start getting ready. You end the call with your head swirling with random tidbits from your call, and a smile that won't go away.

Walking up the firehouse's stairs a few days later, you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You almost reprimand whoever's touched you without permission so thoroughly they never look in your direction again. Until you realize who it is.

By now, midnight calls and stolen moments at work have become your forte. You talk whenever you can, and whenever you talk, you flirt. You both tried helping Maddie move in, but ended up flirting and talking the whole time instead. It's easy and better than anything you've ever had, somehow. Relationships that have lasted years don't compare. You genuinely feel like you've known him forever, and you're not sure whether to be freaked out or comforted. It's completely taken you by surprise, but you can't find it in yourself to feel guilty being this happy.

“Hey, I got you, uh, this,” Eddie says holding up a paper cup holder, which contains two drinks that look very similar to the ones you'd almost shared a few mornings back.

You grin at him, grabbing the one closer to you, assuming that one's yours. You're right, apparently, because he doesn't object.

“Thanks.”

“Of course. Well, I'm told dating's supposed to start with casual invitations over a cup of coffee,” he says.

Your eyes narrow jokingly, “Oh, is it?”

“So, would you like to go out to dinner with me tomorrow?” he looks off at Buck, and asks, “How's that? is that casual enough?”

Buckley nods nonchalantly from somewhere off to the side and it makes you smile. So he's been talking about you. And getting advice.

“So we're dating?” you ask.

“We're dating,” he confirms, already walking up the stairs ahead of you, looking back.

“Pick you up at 8?”

You pretend to think about it for a moment, “Hmm. Yeah, okay.”

You take a sip from the coffee cup, slowly realizing he remembered your coffee order. You could kiss him, and you probably will. Later. For now you follow him up the metal stairs to begin your shift, you can already tell it's going to be a long one.

You can't help but feel ashamed as you get ready for your date. You were supposed to be taking a break from dating! It's what brought on the whole one night stand idea in the first place. But they do say the best things in life are usually found when you aren't looking for them.

You smile to yourself in the mirror, as your 'getting ready' playlist plays in the background. You're not sure when you decided to allow yourself to feel this much for this guy, but you do anyway. You're just getting done doing your hair up, when your phone buzzes.

Hey. I'll be there in 20!

You reply quickly and get up to get dressed. After what feels more like 5 minutes than 20, your doorbell rings. You take one last glance in the mirror, before psyching yourself up in front of the door and opening it.

Eddie has a huge grin on his face, as you close the door behind you, and you look at him questionably in response.

“What?” you ask, with a curious smile.

“Nothing, just thinking about the last time I saw this door. Pretty lucky,” he says with a smile, knocking on the wood twice for dramatic effect.

Right. The last time you were both pressed up against it, attempting to balance making out and unlock the door frantically. Eventually, you'd gotten inside, but you'd say it took around 10 minutes. God, you hope your neighbors didn't see that.

Your smile grows wider, but you try your best to look disappointed at him, “Yeah, yeah. You ending up back here is entirely dependent on how good of a time you show me. Just so you know.”

You head to the car, hand in hand. He opens the door for you, like the gentleman he is. You wait until he climbs into the truck and grab the AUX to play songs for the drive. It's like you've gone on dates like this a million times before. There's no awkwardness, no tension.

Before he starts driving off, he looks in your direction. He's shamelessly taking you in, looking up and down. His smile's somehow brighter now.

“You look gorgeous, amor,” he says, sounding like a kid in a candy store.

“Mhm, tell me something I don't know,” you respond, and he laughs.

“Okay. You have me until tomorrow morning. Carla has volunteered her services tonight. Said I looked too repressed,” he reveals, turning his key in the ignition and driving off.

“Oh, yeah. That's what I like to hear,” you nod in approval and play a song you're pretty sure you'll both like.

The drive's about 20 minutes. The place he chose is gorgeous, and a lot more expensive than either of you can afford on a firefighter's salary. He walks in like he owns the place anyway, and as you're seated he doesn't exactly seem anxious to see the bill at the end.

You both order glasses of wine, which you try your best not to chug for courage. You find out how completely unnecessary that would be, though, as the night goes on. There's so much to talk about, despite seeing each other for 24 hours every other day at work, and talking on the phone in all of your free time. His hand holds yours on top of the table, as he tells you a story about Christopher and his abuela over the weekend. He invites you over for halloween next week, and the implications of it make your head dizzy.

“I want you to meet Christopher. He's very observant for a 7-year-old, and might've hinted at knowing something about...Y'know.”

You nod, “Yeah. I don't mind. He seems like a very bright kid.”

That sends Eddie off on a tangent about how smart Christopher is. You listen to every word. This kid is part of Eddie, his entire world. You have no problem getting to know him, love him, too. But it's making you feel a little trapped. It's been very clear, how serious this thing is getting. Meeting his kid is a different level of serious, though. You have an entire week to unpack all of that, at any rate, so you don't let it ruin the date.

After the wine and food, comes a martini for you and an old fashioned for him. The conversation's slowly devolving into loud jokes and light touches exchanged over the table. You can both feel a few pairs of eyes staring at you, judging how loud you're being.

You lean over the table and whisper, “Maybe we should leave. We're kind of embarrassing ourselves.”

He laughs at you, “I think you mean you're embarrassing yourself. I find it cute.”

Your eyebrows are raised. You grab the olive off of your martini, eating it and throwing the toothpick at him. You both fall into a fit of laughter, and decide that's your cue to ask for the check.

On the drive to your place, you play some music again and sit back. You eventually decide to take off your shoes and put your feet up on the dashboard.

“Oh, no. No,” Eddie says, in a voice you're sure is reserved for reprimanding his son whenever he's done something wrong.

Your mouth falls open, “You can't be serious.”

You look around his truck. It certainly isn't the cleanest car you've ever been in. Not even close. You look back to him with an expression that says, 'really?'

At the red light, he grabs your legs off of the dashboard, pulling them into his lap. He pats your thigh twice, still staring ahead at the road. You laugh at how theatrical he's being.

“You can keep those here,” he tells you.

You shake your head, trying to shake off how dizzy he's making you feel. A few songs later, you end up at your doorstep. He gently puts down your legs, and climbs out of the car. He runs to the other side, opening the door up for you. You take a moment to put your shoes back on, and let him take your hand to help you out of the truck.

He walks you up to your front porch, still holding onto your hand. He plays with your fingers, looking a little nervous about what he's about to say. You look at him curiously. Ah. He's trying to figure out how to come inside.

“You can,” you say.

He looks up from your intertwined fingers with a frown.

“Come inside. Stay the night,” you clarify.

You hold onto his hand tighter, “But… We probably shouldn't have sex.”

You regret it the moment the words leave of your mouth. Damn the logical part of your brain. God knows you want nothing more than to jump his bones right now. Recreate exactly what happened a while ago. He looks just as disappointed, if not more.

“Not that I don't want to. You have no idea how much I want to,” you say, and it makes him smile.

You lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek before proceeding, “But I think we kind of jumped the gun with that whole thing. So maybe we should wait before doing it again. Plus, they say waiting makes infinitely better.

You pause for moment, “Not that you'd know anything about that.”

His hand moves to rest on your neck, and he pulls you in for a kiss that leaves you breathless for a moment, “I think you'll find I'm very patient. It's you I'm worried about.”

You shake your head. It's you you're worried about too, but you have to stand your ground now. You turn around to open up the door, fishing for your keys in your bag. His hands come to rest on your waist from behind.

“Me? Nope, I'll be just fine,” you finally find your keys and open up the door, walking inside.

You take your shoes off at the door and instruct him to do the same. Then, you're pulling his hand and dragging him towards the couch. You both sit there for a moment in quiet contemplation.

You're absolutely not just fine.

You pull him in for another kiss. It's messy, and a little desperate this time. Your hands are in his hair, pulling and trying to bring his face closer, somehow. His hands are on your lower back, itching to go a little further down.

You lay down on the couch, pulling him on top of you. Wow, this is very familiar. His hand dips lower, grabbing a handful of your ass, and massaging it between his thumb and the rest of his fingers.

You make a noise of protest in the back of your throat, and he pulls away immediately. You take a moment to reorient yourself.

“It's just kissing,” you reason, and he nods quickly.

His lips meet yours again, and you sigh in delight.

It happens so suddenly, and a moment later, he's kissing down your jaw to your neck. You'd almost forgotten how good of a kisser he is. A specific peck on the side of your throat makes you keen. The sound of it makes him groan, and it’s absolutely heavenly.

Thank you, God. Nope. Thank you, Carla.

You let yourself indulge for a few minutes, and then you pull him back up by his hair. He makes a sound that makes this all much harder for you. You’re trying your hardest not to lose your sanity, and him looking so fucked out isn’t helping in the slightest. You run your fingers through his hair, the gel that kept it in place now long gone, and give him a quick kiss on the lips.

“We're stopping. Because I'm not sure I have any more self control,” you confess.

He nods and makes to sit up, pulling you with him.

“Yeah, I told you,” he teases.

He grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers. You smile at that, and you can't even bother pretending to be mad at his teasing.

He kisses the back of your hand, “I know you aren't supposed to say this stuff so early, but I think you're very easy to fall in love with. And I am.”

Your eyes widen at that. You look for any doubt in his eyes. There is none. He's being completely genuine. It scares you a little, but his eyes are very comforting.

“Wow.”

His thumb strokes the back of your hand, “You don't have to say anything back.”

You nod, trying to convey how fondly you feel for him with your eyes. He pulls you into his chest, laying back onto the couch. He rests your intertwined hands where his heart's supposed to be.

In this position, you talk for hours. He tells you about his parents, his time in the army, his insecurities. You tell him about how hard you worked to get your job at the 118, how badly you wanted it. You confide in him about past relationships and misery. You hold his hand a little tighter when he gets too choked up to talk, and he does the same for you. Eventually, the conversation dies down and you enjoy each other's company in silence.

You don't mind what he said earlier, and that scares you even more. The fact that you had to restrain yourself from saying the same back definitely isn't helping either.

You time every one of your exhales and inhales to match the rise and fall of his chest. As you fall asleep, you can feel him kiss your hair. It's a miracle you're so tired, because you might've told him you're in love with him too in that moment. Instead, you fall asleep right there, the words dying on your lips.

A/N: honestly, this timeline logic is kinda slipping away from me, but this is supposed to be canon compliant (to an extent) so it should make more sense as we go on! also, i have no energy to beta any of this so have it as it is, flaws n all!

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #eddie diaz x you #eddie diaz fanfic #eddie diaz fic #eddie diaz drabble #eddie diaz smut #eddie diaz fluff #eddie diaz angst #911 abc #911 show #911 #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #9 1 1 #christopher diaz #911 fanfic #911 fic

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us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 · 9 months ago

Text

Jason with his time in the league of assassins

Talia walks into the small modest room where Jason is livening in while he gets back on his feet, having a bunch of brain functions recovered takes a while to get used to. he's been doing physical therapy and occupational therapy for the last couple months, his dexterity isn't exactly back yet.

Talia: Jason? what are you doing?

Jason: well there's this thing I always wanted to try called stop motion animation, and well you got some lego's for Dami but he's a bit too small for them so.. I took them and have been animating. I was bored in-between everything, you don't have any good books I haven't already read.

Talia: well that is an acceptable pass time, what are you making?

Jason: oh it's a weird comedy spoof for kids about batman and the joker being nemesis's, I wanted to make it for Dami since well he doesn't know much about him or the other ones and he's only 3 and well it doesn't seem like much but the time I'm done he'll be 5 and be able to enjoy it. i don't know talia I'm bored and want to make something for him.

Talia: very well, if you so wish. I can get some people in to help you make it if you wish.

Jason: really?

Talia: yes, I can. it does sound like a nice gift.

Jason: oh thank you!

Many months of therapy complete, he starts to retrain and regain all the fighting skills he lost and learn some new ones. in the meanwhile, Jason and 3 other people have been making a complete feature film for Damian who's just turned 4, they were about halfway done and it was looking good.

Talia: so how's it coming along?

Jason: it's been hard and hurts like a bitch, but I'm getting better at flips!

Talia: no. not that, I mean the movie?

Jason: oh it's halfway done! me and the one man and 2 women are doing great we reshot the opening, and we are more than 68% done! so it will be ready by Dami's birthday.

Talia: he will enjoy it I believe.

Jason: of course he would, it's his first ever kids movie!

Talia: why yes it is!

many many many more months pass and it becomes Dami's 5th birthday and Jason and his crew had wrapped up, the voice acting was done mostly by himself, and the crew but he asked some of the league for other voices. eventually after scoring and mixing they met the deadline. they set up the league theatre and put the movie on.

lego batman: [voice over] Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... Hmm... Not sure what LOA does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie.

Dami: momma? what's the movie about?

talia: your father

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Were you looking at the old family pictures again?

lego Batman: At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2001 and 2006 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1999. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?

lego Batman: I don't talks about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, it's morning..

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *chuckles*

Jason: *smiles with accomplishment*

lego Batman: [Batman's song] Who never skips leg day?

Chorus: Batman!

lego Batman: Who always pays their taxes?

lego Batman, Chorus: Not Batman!

Talia: *wails with laughter*

Dami: what are taxes?

Jason: you'll know when you get older don't worry about it

The lego Joker: Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship?

lego Batman: Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships.

The lego Joker: [Confused] What?

lego Batman: As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.

Talia: that is your father's arch-nemesis the joker

Dami: oh okay

Jason: please kill him for me

dami: okay Jason, i will avagange, e-venge, avenge your honour!

Jason: you have no idea what that means to me buddy *wipes away a tear*

Lego Robin: My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.

Lego Batman: Well, children can be cruel.

Jason: when I first heard dick's name I unironically thought everyone was just calling him a dickhead so much that the name dick stuck, but nope turns out it's short for Richard. he even changed his name to dick, I personally would never. but he pulls it off flawlessly. *chuckles*

talia: I did not know mr Grayson preferred to be called Dick.

Dami: who's dick then?

Jason: oh he's your older brother.

Lego Robin: What? [Sees Batcave]

Lego Robin: It's the Batcave! Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygooo-! [Bumps into Batman]

Lego Robin: Batman, woah!

Lego Batman: You're darn right, woah!

Lego Robin: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?

Lego Batman: No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

Talia: *DIES OF LAUGHTER* oh Jason this is amazing.

Jason: I wish to impress!

Lego Robin: Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use code names? Mine can be Robin.

Lego Batman: I'm sorry, say that again?

Lego Robin: Robin.

Lego Batman: As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?

Lego Robin: Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. Tweet, tweet, on the street.

Lego Batman: Hard pass.

Lego Robin: And a song. [singing]

Lego Robin: Fly, Robin, fly.

Lego Batman: Harder pass.

dami: *laughs so hard he coughs*

talia: habbibi careful, don't laugh so hard you will hurt yourself

Jason: honestly yeah you can hurt yourself badly.

LegoRobin: Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!

Lego Batman: Wait, don't touch that!

Lego Robin: Over there! It's the Bat-Space Shuttle!

Lego Batman: Please keep your hands off that.

Lego Robin: Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!

Lego Batman: Don't touch that, either!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Train!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Kayak!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Dune Buggy!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat... Shark Repellent?

Lego Batman: [pause] Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless.

Talia: shark repelent is actually a quite useful invention why is bruce beloved not recognising it's full potential?

Jason: keep watching

Dami: does father have all those things?

Jason: sure does!

Lego Batman: We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone projector from Superman.

Lego Robin: [frowns] Steal?

Lego Batman: Yeah. We have to right a wrong. And sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.

Lego Robin: Are we sure Gandhi said that?

Lego Batman: I'm paraphrasing.

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *laughs so hard he starts coughing AGAIN*

Jason: ghandi so said that btw.

lego Jim Gordon: [sees Robin for the first time] Who is that?

lego Robin: Hi, police man!

lego Jim Gordon: Is that your son?

Lego Robin: Yes, I am!

Lego Batman: [laughs nervously] Is that my son? No, that's just weird.

Lego Jim Gordon: It's weirder if it's not your son.

Jason: this interaction is based off an actual interaction between jimmy and Dick.

[batman and robin arrive at the fortress of solitude]

lego Batman: Hey, kid!

lego Robin: Yes, sir?

lego Batman: You're super nimble, right?

lego Robin: I sure am!

lego Batman: And small?

lego Robin: Very.

lego Batman: And quiet?

lego Robin: [whispering] When I desire to be.

lego Batman: And 110% expendable?

lego Robin: I don't know what that means, but okay!

Jason: bruce really did not know how to deal with a 11 year old child hellbent on murdering a mob boss, so he kept bringing him along on incredibly dangerous missions, it was always fine in the end but this sort of situation happened once.

Talia: really?

Jason: the expendable part was from a wayne tech family event, and they crushed it. but dick had to sacrifice himself to help bruce win, it was so funny. I was there.

Lego Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen.

Talia, jason, the other 70 league of assassin members and Damien break out into applause for the movie.

Jason: THANK YOU ALL, but special thanks to Gerald, and lily and Rin!!!! I WOULD HAVE NEVNER FINISHED IT WITHOUT YOU THANK YOUUUUUUU

the audience bursts into a large uproar of applause.

Prev | current | Next

#-pop #batman #jason todd robin #jason todd #robin jason todd #talia al ghul #baby damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian wayne #lego batman #dc batman #one of those characters watch a movie about them things #if your wondering I just took the quotes from IMDB bc I could not be bothered to rewatch lego batman rn

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justmeinadaze · 5 months ago

Text

November Rain (Part 4)(Eddie X Plus Size Y/N)

A/N: They and I have been through so much that I just wanted to give them a comfortable day at home.

Enjoy <3

Warnings: Warnings: Older (Late 30s) Daddy Eddie/ Young (early 20s) Plus Size Sub Fem Y/N, SMUT, morning shenanigans, LOTS of dirty talk, reader gets a phone call and Eddie makes a show of it (so semi public...I guess...Idk lol), Daddy kink of course. FLUFF, they spend the day together just talking, being intimate, and getting to know each other. Ending is hella fluffy to. No Cliffhanger.

Light Angst, like I said reader gets a call from an asshole, Eddie talks to his lawyer briefly, Reader mentions her parents divorce (again brief)

Word Count: 4501

Series Here

Instead of my normal donate button, I'm going to add some charities here. Please help anyway you can <3.

Border Kindness- "provides asylum-seekers, migrants, refugees, and the displaced with comprehensive services that include food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and legal services."

Trevor Project-"Your generosity will power The Trevor Project’s 24/7 crisis services, advocacy, peer support, public education, and research programs."

Human Rights Campaign-"Your membership donation will help push for LGBTQ+ equality and fight the attacks on our freedoms."

Planned Parenthood- "We're working every single day to make sure patients can get the care and information they need to control their own bodies and build their own futures."

Eddie rubs his eyes as he groans awake at the sun just barely peeking through the curtains in his apartment.

A heavy sigh leaves him as his mind runs through all the things he should get done today.

“I have to go for a run and then weigh in to make sure I’m on track for my fight next month. I need to call my lawyer and double check some information for my divorce hearing. I should check my email to see if my boss approved those extra OT hours I requested. I need to go grocery shopping for some protein and while I do that maybe I can call Paige to check in. Let me go smoke a cigarette and then I can text Y/N to see if she talked to her douchebag.”

Reaching for his pack beside his bed, he realized there was a bit of resistance when he tried to roll over.

When his eyes landed on your sleeping frame, his heart melted. He was so used to waking up alone lately that for a few moments his brain forgot you had spent the night.

All of his anxieties evaporated as he rolled onto his side to face you.

What did he do to get lucky enough to wake up to a Goddess like you in his bed?

Your hair flowed away from your face so he was able to get a good look at your plump cheeks that he reached out to caress as his thumb ran along your still slightly swollen lips from your night of kissing him and leaving your usual marks along his body.

Eddie had left a few on you, smiling to himself when his fingers traced the hickies along your neck and shoulder.

As he lightly tugged on the comforter under your arms, you stirred slightly as you rolled onto your back, allowing the blanket to come free as he pulled it halfway down your body.

Along your skin were more of his love bites but his favorite was the slight ring of purple around your areola where he had sucked and flicked his tongue around your nipple loving the way you squirmed at the feeling while your fingers tangled in his hair.

Eddie loved the way you reacted to him in more ways than one. Ava was never really vocal in bed and the few times he tried she would shut down so he stopped all together. When he would masturbate in the shower in the morning, he would picture a woman like you. A beautiful woman who would beg to be ruined by him while clinging to his body as he made them cum.

Unlike his ex-wife, he never strayed and did everything he could to satisfy her sexually even while putting his own pleasure to the side.

You weren’t like that.

You always voiced your concerns or found ways to let him know you were enjoying his touch. You asked him after those first few times you were intimate if there was anything else he may enjoy.

“Tell me everything. Tell me all of your fantasies.”, you murmured as you smiled up at him, curled up in his warm embrace.

“Fuck me. Are you real? Are you sure you aren’t just a figment of my imagination?”

Your grin grew as you cupped his cheek in your palm and your eyes looked up at him as if he had hung the moon in the sky.

“I want you to enjoy yourself. I like hearing you whimper, pant, and whine when you’re fucking me.”

Eddie breathily laughed as his fingers moved your hair back as he kissed your forehead.

“You won’t believe me if I told you.”

“Oh, please, Daddy. Tell me.”, you respond playfully as he lightly blushes.

“Honestly? I think my biggest fantasy was…is…you.”

As his beautiful eyes continued to visually drink you in, he couldn’t help himself as he tilted downward and his tongue flicked out to lightly lick your nipple. You face didn’t move or make any indication you felt anything but your body did as the bud became more erect causing him to salivate at the sight.

Diving in again, he wrapped his mouth around the nub allowing the muscle within to play as his irises remained glued to your face. Your head turned towards him but your eyes remained closed while he tried to carefully scoot closer to your frame. His lips lightly trailed along your skin leaving little remains of his spit as his tongue would occasionally dart out to taste you.

While delicately kissing your cheek, his palm disappeared under the comforter and he couldn’t help but groan at how warm you were between your legs as he cupped your sex.

“Fuck, pretty girl. You’re always ready for Daddy, baby, aren’t you?”

Eddie’s husky whisper roused you slightly, as your body seemed to absently search for him and his smile grew when your side pressed against his chest.

“Come back to me, sweetheart. I want to see those beautiful eyes.” Rough fingers slid between your folds and the metalhead moaned as he pressed his nose into your cheek. “Are you fucking kidding? How can you be this wet this early? Are you dreaming of me, honey?”

Feeling a sudden fullness, a deep moan left your lips as your eyes fluttered open meeting his now closed ones as two of his digits stretched your pussy open.

“Daddy?”

“Fuck, baby, don’t…don’t talk like that. I’m going to bust right now if you use that sexy ass voice…God, can you feel how fucking hard I am for you?”

You nod, feeling his cock grind against your thigh.

Craning your neck slightly, you kiss his lips and he subtly whines against them.

“Do you want me to help you cum, Daddy?”

“Can I fuck you, sweetheart?”, he pants, barely able to get the words out as he licks his lips.

When you give him permission, he haphazardly climbs on top of you and pumps his dick with you slick that was coating his fingers before guiding himself inside you. Your legs wrap around his waist as you hold him to you, tenderly kissing the base of his neck as his head falls beside you.

Your light touches are a stark contrast to his almost animalistic pace as he continuously pants in your ear.

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Fuck me. I don’t—don’t deserve you, pretty girl.”

You giggle as your legs lock around him at the ankle, slowing him down as he pushes up onto his palms to look down at you.

“Yes, you do, baby. You deserve all the good things.”

“Shit…I’m gonna cum.”

Eddie falls against you once more and chases both your highs. A whine escapes your lips as your mouth falls open while your pussy quivers around him and you cum. The feeling is almost too much for him as Eddie’s fingers close around the pillow beside your head and he pounds his release inside of you.

“Oh, oh, oh, go slow, honey.”, you whimper as he carefully pulls out and falls onto his back beside you, trying to catch his breath. “Good morning.”

He breathily laughs at your joke as he rolls onto his side to face you.

“Good morning. I’m sorry, I just…you looked so beautiful I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh my god.”, you giggle even as you lightly blush. “What do you have to do today?”

“Um…I kinda want to…spend the day here with you if that’s alright.”

Smiling, you lean towards him and gently kiss his lips.

“I’d like that. I just have to text Paige and let her know I’m not dead.”

***

Throughout the day, you two barely left each other’s side as if to make up for the lost time of the last two weeks. He made you breakfast and afterward you both relaxed on the couch watching a movie that was one of his favorites as a kid.

“From what you told me, your uncle doesn’t seem like the kind of man to let you watch Gremlins at such a young age.”

“Hey, the 80s and 90s were like the wild west, sweetheart.”, he chuckled. “Plus, as a kid, I didn’t actually realize how graphic this movie was. I mean look at the little Mogwai!”

You offered to make lunch but he insisted on doing it himself which you were absolutely fine with. You loved watching him move around his kitchen as he focused on the task in front of him. His eyebrows would meet in concentration and sometimes his tongue would stick out making you smile.

“Where did you learn how to cook?”

“My mom was a wiz in the kitchen and Wayne was a master at the grill.”

“What about your dad?”

“He, uh, wasn’t really a master at anything except being a fuck up. He could cook up some pretty get rich quick type of deals but other than that…”

As his voice trails off, you grab his arm, pulling him to where you were sitting on the counter, placing him between your legs and wrapping your own limbs around his neck so you could kiss him.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to but I’m always here whenever you want to talk about it. You can tell me anything, Eddie.”

Softly smiling, he tilts down to kiss you again before asking you about your family.

You tell him everything you can think of including your own parent’s divorce that you breeze past hoping he won’t ask any questions which he doesn’t and after finishing the delicious meal he prepared you sit on his couch as you two continue to talk about everything that comes to mind.

You weren’t sure why but talking with Eddie came easy and it wasn’t just because of the topic of conversations. While you told a story, he always kept his chocolate eyes zeroed in on your face as if he was literally taking in every word and digesting it into his soul. Occasionally, his palm would reach for yours or another part of your skin and his thumb would softly caress your flesh as if subconsciously reminding you that he was there and you were being heard.

In the middle of one of your stories, his phone rang but he didn’t make a move to answer it nor react like he even heard it go off.

“You can answer that.”

“They can leave a message.”, he replies casually. Smirking, you reach for his phone and when you read off the name, Eddie heavily sighs. “It’s my lawyer.”

“Answer it. This could be important.”

“Not as important as you.”

Again, your eyes locked on his as you searched them for any deception or indication that he was just saying these things to make you feel good before breaking your heart. He saw it immediately, the trepidation.

“Sweetheart, I’m not going to change on you nor am I hiding how genuinely beautiful I think you are. You mean a lot to me.”, he murmurs soothingly as he reaches out to cup your cheek.

After giving him a quick kiss, you press the green answer button as he playfully growls and pushes the speaker button with his finger.

“Hey Carl.”

“Hey, Ed. I thought you were going to come by today?”

“Yeah, um, something came up.”

“Your dick.”, you mouth silently causing his eyes to narrow as he reaches out to lightly poke your side while you bite your lip trying to stifle your laugh.

“Ok, not a problem, but please come around at least before Friday so we can talk about things. Are you sure you still want to give her the house? I mean after what she did you don’t want anything—”

“Ah, nope, Carl. I’m good with everything. I just want to get this over with as quickly and seamlessly as possible. I’ll come by tomorrow so we can talk. Ok, bye.”

“Well, that didn’t sound suspicious at all.”, you laugh as he takes his phone and hangs it up before tossing it on the table.

“Sorry. Force of habit. Usually, when people find out I’m not asking for anything I either get the ‘Be a man’ speech or the ‘after what she did’ lecture. I just want to move on, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. My parents dealt with their divorce for a couple of years going back and forth on petty shit. Imagine being a little kid watching your parents go to court to argue about who gets the silver lamp in the living room.”, you giggle as your eyes fall to the void. “It took a while before they got to fighting over me.”

Calloused fingers lift your chin and you’re met with soft lips to yours.

That evening without telling him, you ordered both of you a pizza and he sighed at your stubbornness as he shook his head.

“I take care of YOU, little miss.”

“Yeah, ya do.”, you grin as you open the box and crack open one of his beers. “But I can take care of you sometimes to.”

Smiling the entire time, you two finished your meal and you were so giddy off the alcohol and the evening, you crawled into his lap to curl up in his embrace.

“You alright?”

“More than.”, you giggle as you nuzzle into his neck. “What were you like when you were my age?”

Eddie laughs and as his whole chest vibrates you feel yourself dropping down further into that headspace.

“Welp, back in ma day…”, he starts with a southern accent, unable to keep it up when he feels your body radiate with a happy energy that has him grinning wide. “No, um, I guess you could say I was a nerd. I played D&D with my friends and was into all that fantasy shit even then.”

As your forehead presses against his neck, your palm absently rubs his pecs to his shoulder before repeating the process.

“I loved heavy metal and playing with my guitar. Some nights I could stay up till dawn just smoking cigarettes, playing, and talking with my friends. Then suddenly I was a husband and a father.”

Eddie feels you scrunch closer to him and his hand comes up behind you to tenderly stroke your hair.

“Being a husband was never like this.”, he murmured. “I never felt…I don’t know…everything happened so fast. There’s not one moment I can think of where we had a day like I had today with you.” Your palm cupped his cheek as you leaned back so your eyes could meet his. “Thank you.”

Nodding, the tip of your nose touches his as he tilts down, pressing his lips to your own.

“You’re welcome, Daddy.”

A gentle smile paints his lips as he tilts you onto your back to allow your head to lay on the arm rest as he opens your legs and lays his upper body between them to kiss your soft tummy beneath his shirt you were wearing.

Eddie’s large hand braces against your hip as he closes his eyes and rests his head, exhaling when your fingers come down to play with his hair. You’re not sure how long you both lay like that but you know its long enough to fully fall into the warmth of your subby girl headspace and when his head tilts to look up at you, you know he sees it to.

“If we were the same age and went to school together, do you think you still would have wanted me?”

His grin grows as you nod your head before your mouth opens and you tease, “No.”

Biting your lip, you giggle as he quirks his eyebrow and very lightly, spanks the side of your behind.

“I’m just kidding, Daddy. I definitely would have wanted you to be mine. We would have had to sneak around though.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“My father wasn’t a fan of me dating, let alone dating bad boys like you.”

Eddie’s laugh hisses through his teeth as he leans his cheek against your knee and places his palm on your mound, allowing his thumb to hover near your parted legs.

“What makes you think I was a bad boy, huh?”

“Guitar, smoker, motorcycle, getting into fights… Naw, you were definitely an altar boy.”

Your breath hitches as his thumb presses down on the fabric of your panties just barely allowing friction on your clit.

“Psh, I didn’t learn how to ride a motorcycle till I was 30.”, he jests. “Everything else was on point though. I definitely would have had you on the couch in my uncle’s trailer on the second date.”

“Second date?”

“I’m a gentleman, sweetheart.” Eddie smiles wide when you cackle, loving the way your body moves when you do. “Jesus, these panties are soaked. Is that all because of me?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

His chocolate irises lock on your face as his tongue flattens against the garment blocking your cunt.

“Fuck, you always taste so good.”

Pushing up onto your elbows, you watch as he slowly licks up and down repeatedly driving you crazy at the delicate pace.

“Daaaaaddy…”

“Am I being too mean, baby?”, he chuckles at your whine. “I’m sorry. I just…I love taking my time with you.” Your body slightly trembles as he tenderly kisses the meat of your thigh, trailing his lips to your core before making you pout when he stops. “Let’s get these off.”, Eddie whispers as he reaches for the band of your underwear and slides them down your legs.

Your phone on the table vibrates but you ignore it as you feel his tongue finally where you want it.

“Please.”

“So beautiful, Y/N.”

Placing your palm over the one he has resting on your side, you moan as he runs the organ in his mouth from top to bottom between your folds, stopping to flick and suck your clit before repeating the process.

“Fuck, just like that.”

Your heavy pants encouraged him while he continued to devour you, his lips always having you see stars.

Again, your phone went off and you grunt in frustration when Eddie pauses.

“You should check that.”

“I can call them back. Don’t stop—”

“Could be important—”

Angerly you grab your device, checking who was stopping you from getting what you needed.

“It’s no one.”

“Yet they’ve called twice—”

“Eddie, please!”

The man moved in the blink of an eye; his muscular arm reaching over you to grip your cheeks till your lips puckered out. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to. His annoyed eyes burning into your own as you swallowed, trying to calm down.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

Eddie nodded, accepting your apology as he brought your lips to his. The phone rang again and this time you showed him your screen.

Brad

He growled lightly before a devious smirk painted his features and he answered the call. Your eyes widened in shock as you hit his shoulder but he effortlessly caught your wrist and pulled you forward so his lips could kiss you again.

“Hello? Y/N, are you there?”

“What do you want, Bradly?”, you hiss sassily causing the metalhead to snicker.

“I want to talk. It’s been a couple days and I haven’t heard from you. I got punched in the fucking face and my girlfriend doesn’t seem to give a damn.”

“I’m NOT your girlfriend.”

With amazing strength, Eddie pushed you back against the couch and lifted your legs over his shoulders as he pressed his face back between your folds.

“Then what the fuck have these last couple of weeks been?!” Covering your mouth with your hand, you tried to muffle the moans that wanted to escape as the boxer made out with your pussy, his mouth barely lifting from you while his tongue expertly roamed. “Huh?! Fucking answer me!”

“It…it was…was a mistake. Now leave m-me alone.”

“You think you can just play around with my emotions like that?!”

“Fuck…Fuck you…you can’t just…come b-back into my life and think—”

“Y/N are you…are you with someone?”, he growled eliciting a smile when you felt Eddie do the same.

Climbing up the length of your body, two of his fingers slide effortlessly inside of you and as he thrusts them into your cunt his head falls beside yours.

“Tell him, baby. Tell him Daddy’s taking care of you.”, he whispered, your eyes rolling shut.

“I’m with…with Daddy…fuck M’gonna cum.”

“Naw…you…your fucking lying. Trying to make me jealous. Who would want someone like you?”, he sneered.

“There she is. That’s it, pretty girl. Cum hard for me.”, Eddie said more prominently as your body shook and the coil snapped. “Good…good girl…MY beautiful angel.”

You smiled up at him as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

“Alright, honey, time to let little boy go so Daddy can make you cum on his cock.”

“Fuck you! And fuck you, Y/N! How dare you—”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he hung up your phone and tossed it across the room on the opposite chair.

“Do you think he’ll recognize your voice?”

“I think he was to hung up on his ego to notice, fucking asshole.”

“Aw…I like who you get all grouchy like an old man.”, you coo obnoxiously as he chuckles.

“Hey now. You’re my girl and no one insults my girl.”

At his words, your smile faulters slightly as your fingers reach up to caress his cheek down to the stubble on his chin.

“I’m your girl?”

“Yeah…yeah, sweetheart, if you want to be. I know we have some…I don’t know…kinks to work out—”

“I guess you could call it that.”, you joke and his grin grows.

“But I just want you to know that I’m not…I mean…I haven’t been with anyone since I met you.”

“I haven’t either. Brad and I didn’t…we didn’t do anything, I swear. I like being with you. I feel safe with you.”

The tip of his nose grazes your own.

“You are safe with me, baby. No matter what happens I’ll be here and I’ll protect you.”

Your lips gently kiss his, steadily growing more passionate as his lower half grinds against you seeking friction and Eddie lets out a soft hum as your palms run down his bare, muscular back. With closed eyes, his forehead leans against your own as you pull down his sweats enough to free his hard cock within.

Your eyes watch his gorgeous face as his eyebrows furrow together and he licks his lips at the feeling of your hand around him.

“Let me feel you, pretty girl.”, he whispers and you oblige as you guide his length to your entrance.

He effortlessly takes over as he gradually thrusts his cock inch by inch into your cunt and every time his hips touch your own an utterly sexy strained grunt escapes his mouth as his jaw goes slack.

“Fuck, your pussy takes me so well. Mmph—taking Daddy so deep, baby.”

Your legs lock at the ankle around his waist and his head falls into the nook of your neck as his hand comes up along the other side to dig into the fabric of the couch as if he’s using it for leverage to try and push himself deeper.

“Atta girl…how-how does it feel?”

You struggled to find words as his mushroom tip delicious glided along that spot inside of you gradually that had your eyes rolling. Pushing up on to his palms, his long hair tickled your face forcing your gaze to meet his.

“Tell me, honey. I need to hear it.”

Eddie knew what he was doing.

He knew you having trouble recollecting the English language as he purposely arched his back and rolled his hips.

“Tell Daddy, baby.”

At his whispered words, he smirked as your pussy tightened around him and your whimpered breath hit his face.

“Feels good…Fuck… please…”

Falling flat against you, his palm slid down to rub your thigh around him.

“Please what?”

“Faster, Daddy, please. I wanna cum.”

The feathery kiss he placed just below your ear was light but the way he thrust himself was anything but as he did what you pleaded. Your fingers threaded through his hair as your arms wrapped around his back and Eddie mewled at the feeling of your lips trailing along shoulder to his neck.

“Cum…Cum with me.”

He didn’t verbally respond but you felt him nod as he picked up his pace and his grunts of pleasure filled your ears. Clinging him tighter to you, your orgasm crashed into you like a wave and a giddy smile remained on your lips as he roughly pumped his release into your heat.

While his head rested on your chest, you kissed his forehead before he pushed up onto his elbows to give you a soft kiss.

“Nooooo…”, you whine as he starts to get up and push away from you.

“I’ll be right back, sweetheart, I promise. I have to clean you. Do you want another shirt? Something not slightly covered in my sweat.”, Eddie teases as he pulls up his pants and starts heading for the bathroom.

“No, thank you. It… smells like…you.”

He chuckled as he shook his head and disappeared to get a washrag.

“Well, at least let’s move to the bed so you’ll be—”

When he entered his living room again, your eyes were closed giving him pause as he took in the sight before him. Kneeling down on the floor, he carefully opened your legs and tried to clean you without moving you too much, murmuring soft apologies when he notices your face scrunch at the feeling.

“I think you were a good husband.” Eddie’s brown irises fleet to your face as you continue, your eyes still closed even through your head was turned towards him. “You said…being a husband never felt…like this. I don’t think…that was your fault. I think you were a good husband…”

Smiling, his hand cups your cheek as his thumb runs along your soft features.

As he watches his arm across you rise and fall steadily, he realizes you’d fallen asleep again and as carefully as he can, lifts you in his arms to bring you back to his bed. After crawling in himself on his side facing you, you promptly scoot closer to him and press your face into his chest.

His arm circles around you as he places his chin on top of your head while staring out the window behind you into the city skyline.

“Thank you, baby, for what you said. I’d…I’d like a chance to try again one day…to be a husband…maybe someday soon.” When you don’t react, he knows you’re down for the count. “Baby?”, he questions, just to make sure but when you don’t stir, he cranes his neck to kiss your forehead before whispering delicately against your skin, “I love you, Y/N.”

###################

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cloudykyu · 4 months ago

Text

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪mark lee, ever the stickler, has set himself a list of rules to follow until he obtains his degree and he’s had no problem sticking to it. but alas, rules are meant to be broken and mark isn’t as disciplined as he prides himself in being. especially when you smile at him like that.

pairing: student!mark x fem!reader genre: college au, fluff, very light angst, kinda slice of life, strangers to lovers word count: 11k hehe warnings: swearing, not proofread, mark is a little insufferable, reader is referred to as she/her, small food mention, they kiss but its nothing spicy, reader cries but its nothing too angsty, i'm projecting my feelings for mark here, i wrote this in 5 days

mani's notes: thank you @1ntaks for beta reading and encouraging mark delulu hours. you'll be the witness at our wedding

Ah, yes. The university library where it reeks of dread and stale paper. You thought you were the only idiot who would step foot in this place on a Friday, but you’re quickly surprised by the lack of empty tables on all three floors. Shouldn’t these people be at home preparing for the absolute ragers someone must have planned for the night? Nerds.

You’re about to call it quits and kiss your research paper goodbye until you spot him. On the very top floor of this god forsaken library, sits a boy at one of the tables near the window. Black framed glasses are perched on his nose bridge and his equally black hair sticking up in all sorts of places. Notebooks, textbooks, and loose papers lay spread across the table as the boy goes to absolute town on writing whatever he’s working on on a piece of paper. You know that face. Of course you know that face – it’s fucking Mark Lee.

Well, you kinda know him through the giggles and whispers that bubble up from others as they spot him on campus. He’s a total hit with the babes, but you’ve never seen Mark react to any of it. The boy is always power walking to his next destination with his lips pursed and dumb, wired earphones in. Even when someone shouts his name, loud enough to pierce through whatever song he had blasted, he’ll just look up at the source and give a nod. Never one to stop and chit-chat. Pretty interesting guy, you think.

Knowing all this, you can tell just exactly how focused he is and start to feel bad for what you’re about to do, but he’s the only one with a table to himself, meaning he’s got extra space. “Hey,” you start off once you’re close enough. The boy's head snaps up quickly to the sound, eyes widening at the intruder (you). “I’m sorry to bother you, but you’re the only one with space at a table right now… Is it okay if I sit here with you?”

He looks around, scanning his surroundings to find that you weren’t lying. Groups of 3-4 students were huddled at each table, leaving him all alone at a place meant to seat five. “Oh, uh…” he mumbles, moving his things to create some space for you. “Sure, no problem.”

You smile at him in thanks, pulling out a chair and taking a seat diagonal to him. He’s quick to go back to whatever he was doing, looking back down at his notes and continuing to write. “I’m Y/N,” you introduce yourself, unzipping your bag to pull out your own notes. He tries his absolute best to hold back a groan, but he just lost his whole flow so he has no choice but to deadpan back at you.

“Mark” he states simply and you’re still beaming at him despite the sour look on his face.

The loud sound of your laptop turning on causes his eye to twitch, but you pay no mind. “Thanks for letting me sit here, Mark! I promise I won’t bother you too much.” Mark gives you nothing but a grimace in response, hoping you stick to your word. He was just on a roll before you arrived, nearly ripping his pen through his notebook paper with how intensely he was writing and now he feels like he has to take 20 deep breaths before getting back into it. And surely enough, he does.

Only a handful of minutes go by before he starts to catch your movements out of the corner of his eye. You really haven’t said a word to him, but you’re the type of student who’ll work for maybe 15 minutes, then take an even longer break. He wants to bang his head against the wall everytime you begin to fidget with your phone or click your pen over and over, or lean back in your chair and sigh, but he doesn’t. Even if Mark has a whole system for studying and you just ruined it, he’s not a bitch!

It’s not until your 3rd break in the hour do you speak up. “I’ll be right back,” you tell him. Moving to stand up, Mark's eyes follow your movements. “Don’t move!”

Tell that to yourself, he wants to reply. Instead, he opts for a nod of the head and an “okay.” Taking it as a sign, Mark gets back to work quickly. If he’s lucky, he’ll get through at least three modules before you come back and disturb the peace again. Now, that’s a little mean. You’re not even doing that much to bother him, but remember Mark Lee’s got his own system and rules to follow in order to keep himself on track. He’s so self-disciplined that it’s never failed him and he’d like to keep it that way, even if today kind of threw a wrench in his plans. Mark is normally always studying alone with no one even daring to approach him. His own friends are always welcomed, of course, but they never last long at Mark’s table with the way he stares them down whenever they start non-academic discussions. He doesn’t mind, though. Actually, he likes the fact that his friends respect him and his ways enough to know their limits.

He doesn’t hear you come back, until you slide a pack of crackers towards him. You say nothing as you move the snack across the table, giving him a sweet smile that he just can’t return. “There’s no eating in the library, Y/N.”

“So,” you shrug, plopping back into your seat. “No offense Mark, but you’re telling me you won’t break the rules for some ol’ processed fuel for the brain?” The crinkling sound of the package opening causes Mark’s eyes to blow wide once again. He turns his head fast to look around, making sure that no one bears witness to you munching on a contraband that could lead him to getting kicked out. Or worse – BANNED.

“There’s rules for a reason,” he chides at you, whispering so others don’t hear you breaking the law.

You roll your eyes at how frigid he’s being and turn back to your essay in front of you. The snack was just what you needed to go on. “Whatever, but I’m just saying” you wave a hand at the boy. “I spent a dollar fifty on you because I heard your stomach screaming from across the table.” Mark’s mouth opens to counter your remark, but is silenced by the rumbling feeling in his stomach. You heard it too, of course. Having heard it the whole time you’ve been sat here.

The way his body has betrayed him leaves Mark no choice but to silently open the snack under the table. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him looking around frantically before shoving a cracker in his mouth.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #4 I know you’re a broke college student, but stay away from processed food as much as you can.

You run into Mark again a few times after that day in the library. Just in passing on campus and at the coffee shop nearby, but there was never enough time for you to have a chat with him. Whenever you lock eyes with the dark haired boy, you give him your best smile and a big wave hello. Mark returns every single greeting with his own tight lipped smile and a raise of a hand before quickly looking away and continuing his business. A few passerby’s give you two a look, because no way Mark Lee just acknowledged someone. The reality is that Mark thinks you’re causing a scene with the way you’re obnoxiously waving at him and he just wants you to stop. You were hoping to see him again with enough time to actually talk to the guy. The only interaction you have with him can’t be him scolding you for buying him a snack and eating it in the library.

That moment finally comes when you spot Mark sitting right in the middle of the quad. He’s sat criss crossed on the grass, posture straight as he stares ahead almost as if he’s meditating in the middle of campus? What an odd dude.

You make your way over to him anyway, deciding that he needs a buddy to meditate with. “Hi Mark,” you greet, sitting cross legged next to him. He barely moves to see who has infiltrated his space, knowing only one person who’d do such a thing. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going alright,” Mark lets out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. Everything he had been trying to let go in the middle of this field starts to bubble up in a rant and it catches you off guard with the way this is the most you’ve ever heard Mark speak, but you listen intently anyway. “I swear, I swear! I packed my bag the night before like I always do, but when I got to my first class I couldn’t find my damn highlighters anywhere! Like who the freak forgets a whole 10 pack of mildliner highlighters?” You can’t help the grin that forms on your face as the boy continues to ramble on and on, some you can’t even make out because he’s drifting off to mumble to himself under his breath. “And it’s not like I could go back home to get them either, like I’m the idiot who decided to live off campus so I have like NO TIME to go and get them. I just had to sit in 3 back to back classes with no highlighters.”

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #6 make sure everything you need for the next day is packed the night before.

Mark could have gone and gotten them during this break of his, but he felt so utterly defeated. And when Mark feels like this, he just doesn’t know what to do with himself other than sit someplace and stare – which is exactly what he was doing before you showed up. “I just can’t continue my day like this,” he sighs dramatically. “But I have 2 more classes before I can call it a day.”

He’s so weird and so dramatic for no reason. But you decide to put him out of his misery anyway, given recent events you just had (your last class). “Mildliner you say?” you hint, pulling out a yellow and a green highlighter from your pocket before handing it out to him. “It’s not a whole 10 pack, but it’s something to talk you off the ledge.”

You watch as Mark eyes fleet between the pens in your hands and your face with a confused, yet suspicious look on his face. “I can’t take these from you. Don’t you have classes, too?”

“Nope! I’m done for the day,” you shake your head, happily. “And they’re not mine, either. I found them on an empty desk in my last lecture so I just took them.” Mark continues to stare, deadpanning at you just like he did in the library a week before.

“First you eat in the library when you’re not supposed to,” he counts his fingers, scoffing. “Then you take someone’s highlighters? So you’re a criminal…”

It’s your turn to scoff, shoving the pens in the breast pocket of Mark’s jacket with a frown on your face. “I didn’t steal anything because nobody was there, Mark! Imagine how lonely they felt just being left there?!”

Mark can’t help the way the corners of his lip turn up at the sight of you pouting and spewing ridiculous nonsense about inanimate objects, but still points a finger at you. “I’ve had two whole conversations with you starting now and both times it’s you convincing me that rules don’t exist.”

“That’s not how you say ‘thank you’, Mark Lee,” swatting his finger out of your face, you cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow.

“I’m not thanking a thief,” he tsks, then lets out a light breath. “But considering how you saved those two lonely pens, thank you.” The small smile on the boy's face is enough to have you gushing. Standing up from your spot on the grass, you brush off any remnants from your pants and stick out a hand for him to take.

“Come on, get up” you smile at him. He takes your hand in his and you help to lift him off the ground with a groan, to which Mark scowls at. “When’s your next class? I’ll walk you!”

Checking the time on his watch, he informs you that his next class is pretty soon and you give him a tug to start moving. “Why are you gonna walk me? You don’t have to.”

You ignore him and he seems to be ignoring himself too with the way he’s following at your side. He rolls his head back to loosen his neck and shoves his hands in his jacket pockets as he walks with you. “Because that’s what friends are for, Mark!” you sing. “I don’t just give away free pens or spend a dollar fifty on vending machine crackers for just anyone, you know.”

“One, they’re not yours” he corrects, giving you a side eye. “Two, I never asked you to feed me. And three, no offense, but we don’t even know each other.”

“Hmm, true!” you hum in agreement, turning to look at his side profile. He turns his head slightly to look at you too and he can’t help but feel a little scared with the way a fire burns behind your eyes. “But I would like to get to know you more! You seem like a cool guy with your head screwed on kinda straight and I like how you’re always so focused. I need more hardworking friends like you.”

Seeing his lecture building come into view, Mark lets out a little sigh of relief. This moment is about to get awkward and he’s thankful that he’s reached the end of your walk together. “Look, Y/N” he starts, and if he wasn’t such a Leo – so headstrong, the way you’re looking at him with hope filled eyes and chest swelled with pride almost had the words die in his throat. “I-I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m really trying hard to work towards graduation.”

“Oh, I know” you cut him off. The interruption stops him for a little, giving you a look before continuing on.

“And while you seem like a nice girl, I don’t have time for a relationship right now.”

Tilting you head to the side a little, you wear a confused smile on your face. “I’m not looking to date you either, Mark. I just wanna be your friend.” He shuffles on his feet slightly in front of you, adjusting the straps of his backpack higher on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but the friends I have now are good enough for me” he gives you a smile, an awkward one that lets you know that he just wants this conversation to be over. “I barely have time to see them and when I do, they already keep me on my toes as it is.”

“Oh…” With the way Mark is fidgeting in front of you, looking around at literally anything but you, you decide to let the protests die down. “Okay, Mark. I’m sorry if I stepped over a line.” You give Mark your best smile, like you always do, and gesture for him to enter his lecture building. “But thank you for letting me walk you. I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Thank you, Y/N” he replies, looking down at his feet before walking into the building.

Settling in his unassigned, assigned seat at the front of the lecture hall, Mark plucks the two highlighters you had given him earlier out of his jacket pocket and places them gently on his desk. It definitely isn’t his 10 pack, but it’s the most at peace he’s felt all day. Mark is brought back to that day in the library. Those same words, “I won’t bother you” that you had promised to him, only for you to in fact, bother him. He has a feeling that it will happen again, but can’t dwell on it for long because he’s picturing him leaving you there by yourself as you wave goodbye to him. Not above and in the air like you had done before in passing, but a small, almost shy one with a meek expression on your face.

He decides not to think about it.

Mark hasn’t seen you in four days.

It really doesn’t bother him, like, it really doesn’t even if he’s been going about his days wondering if you’ll greet him as you always do from across the way. He just REALLY needs to return the highlighters to you as he’s been reunited with his full 10 pack ever since that day, swearing to never forget them again.

Okay, honestly, Mark thinks he was really mean to you after you walked him to class and he wants to say sorry. Also, thanks to Chenle who scolded the boy after he spilled his guts to his friend about his day with a sour look on his face.

“She bought you a snack, gave you highlighters for free, and walked you to class and you don’t even wanna be her friend?!” he had shrieked, standing to his full height with hands on his hips. “You are SO rude, I can’t even – who raised you?!”

Safe to say that Mark’s day did not get better after that, walking around with a permanent pout on his face as he thought about it. If he were to be so real right now, Mark would actually be the first one to spot you before you see him. After that first day in the library, for some reason, whenever he’d lift his gaze from the ground in front of him, they’d automatically zero in on your form. Those bright eyes weren’t hard to miss at all. Anyways, you had always been by yourself during those times. I mean, who would wanna be around someone who talks to the birds with a serious look on her face? Whether you were sitting somewhere in silence, staring off into space, or standing a full five minutes in front of the coffee shop menu in deep contemplation before pulling out your phone to ask Siri to flip a coin before you ordered, you were alone.

Mark was weird, but so were you. Not that he cared as a very self aware man. He knew he had odd tendencies, he knew he could be difficult to talk to or be around, but it was all the more special when someone took the time to actually try. Might as well be weird together, right? As desperate as he was to find you, he wasn’t going to try that hard. You’ll pop up eventually. But by the fourth day, Mark had started to grow agitated. Eyes flicking around the campus a lot more than usual and taking different routes to his classes in hopes of spotting you, only to fail. Until he decided to relax his nerves with some good ol’ study time because nothing like using your brain on max power!

Just like you had first found him before, there you were, sitting in the crowded library at a table by yourself. Your whole demeanor was opposite of Mark as you leaned back in your chair, legs outstretched under the table as you typed away on your laptop with huge headphones over your ears. Despite how fast your fingers flew across your keyboard, you looked so relaxed with your lips turned up in a small smile. He wonders what you’re thinking about.

“Oh well,” Haechan sighs, a sarcastic tone laced in his voice. Mark decided to drag Haechan with him to the library today to basically force and beg the boy to finish his seven late assignments. “We really tried our best, Markie. Let’s go get a sweet treat to reward our efforts!”

All Mark can do is roll his eyes at his best friend, knowing how hard he fought to not come here with him. Literally whined and complained the whole time while dragging his feet on the way to success. Mark really did try his best, giving Haechan a motivational speech about how he could do it and he was there to help him, but seeing you right there when he needed to, Haechan can go fail for all he cares. “Actually, I’m gonna stay,” he declares, turning to look at Haechan with a shrug. “I see someone I know so I’m gonna go sit with them.”

“You know people?” Haechan gasps, bringing a hand up to his mouth in surprise. Mark shoves him by the shoulder in response, groaning.

“Shut up!” he chides, using force to physically turn Haechan’s body towards the library exit. “I was gonna invite you to join us, but you can leave, like actually.” Haechan lets Mark manhandle him, complying with taking his happy ass out of the library as he laughs. As Mark watches Haechan wave goodbye to him, he exhales deeply, cheeks puffed to calm himself before turning back towards your direction. With each step he takes closer to you, he gives himself a little pep talk in his head and goes over everything he needs to do. First, ask to sit with you. Second, give you back your highlighters. Third, apologize for how mean he was to you four days ago. Fourth, calculus homework. Light work.

Seeing his form loom over you, you look up in surprise with your eyes wide. You quickly straighten your back and lift one side of your headphones off your ears. When you smile at Mark, even with confusion knitted between your brows, he feels a sense of ease wash over him. “Hi,” he breathes. “Is it okay if I sit with you?” Step one: CLEARED!

You say nothing, nodding at the boy with that smile on your face still. After gesturing at the seat in front of you for him to take, you avert your eyes back to your screen and adjust your headphones back into its place. Mark gladly pulls out his chair, taking his backpack off to unpack his things. Even with all the bustling movements in front of you, not once do you look up or attempt to make conversation as he settles in and Mark doesn’t know what to do next. You’re like, actually locked in, a big difference compared to when you two were first sat in this library. He guesses he could move step 4 to step 2 and complete some of his assignments before resuming with the plan. Wake his brain up a little bit, you know?

Ten minutes in and you still haven’t said a word. Still haven’t even taken a glance at him and Mark is officially bothered. He’s been working on the same problem this whole time, unable to move past the third step to solve it. He taps the end of his pencil against his notebook a few times, leg bouncing frantically, before ultimately letting the stick fall out of his hand with a sigh. Leaning back in his seat, Mark stretches his neck from side to side to relieve some tension before letting it completely fall slack, chin against his chest with his arms crossed. Back to the tapping, his pointed finger beats against his arm as he thinks about how to break the ice. When he lifts his gaze to discreetly look at you, you’re still not paying any attention to him in clear agony. His bag sits in the chair next to him, the front pockets zipper open and he sees the two highlighters you had given him. He could just slide them across the table to you in order to get your attention, but would that be enough to start a conversation? What if you just don’t accept them or throw them back in his face? Well, you let him sit here with you so he couldn’t have messed up that bad… Okay, but what if–

Marks inner monologue was cut short when he catches your movements out of the corner of his eye. You’ve finally taken your headphones off and stretched your arms above your head. Now’s his chance, get the plan back on track. “I wanna be friends!” he blurts out, stopping you mid stretch. His outburst was pretty loud for the quiet atmosphere of the library, catching the attention of a few students nearby. Mortified, Mark feels his whole face heat up and slouches lower in his seat. He scolds himself under his breath as he places both hands on his head, lowering the brim of the hat he was sporting over his eyes. You can’t help but giggle at the blushing boy in front of you, extending your foot to give his leg a tap from under the table. He uncovers his face slightly to look at you and you grin at the expression he wears.

“If this is about the other day, it’s really okay” you assure him, propping your elbow on the table to rest your chin in your hand. “I understand and I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” he wonders, a little surprised. When you shake your head in reply, he sits up fully and leans in a little closer to you from across the table. Mark does not need anyone hearing any more of this conversation. “I-I just wanna say sorry, Y/N. I was pretty rude to you that day when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

“Is that why you’ve been sitting here in distress this whole time?” you laugh, quietly. “You really don’t need to feel bad, Mark but I accept your apology anyway.” Marks smile mirrors your own, admiring the way you’ve been so accepting of the situation when he was clearly in the wrong. “But still, we don’t have to be friends if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” he interjects, nearly jumping up in his seat. “You really are a nice person and I wouldn’t mind getting to know you more, too. I shouldn’t have treated you like that when you basically saved my life that day.” Mark moves to grab the pens from his bag, laying them out on the table for you to take. “Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to give these back to you.”

Reaching your hand out, you scoot the pens back in Marks direction. “You can keep them as backups or something,” you wave off. “You’d probably use them more than I would anyway. I take all my notes electronically.” Pulling out your fancy tablet from your bag, you wave it around for him to see and Mark’s just in disbelief.

“How can you retain any information that way?” he gapes, eyes popping out of their sockets. “Connecting your pen to paper helps you process your thoughts better, you know.”

“This is better for the environment!” you argue, rolling your eyes and Mark shakes his head in disapproval. He starts going on a whole tangent about the benefits of physical note taking and you just sit there and take it. But the conversation flows easily with you and Mark talking to each other back and forth. Neither of you get back to your studies for the remainder of the afternoon.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #7 study time is quiet time (friends allowed but they need to shut up).

Heavy footsteps trudge through the halls of the lecture building, but Mark has never felt so light. Even if his shirt is wrinkled, hair all over the place, and eyes about a second away from shutting, he walks to his 8 am class with a tiny smile on his face.

It’s been weeks since you and Mark had bloomed a friendship. Weeks filled with studying late in the library, fighting over who gets to pay for the sweet treat of the day, and gallivanting around campus as conversation fills the silence between you two. Mark had honestly thought that he’d take a while to warm up to you, but he finds it incredibly easy to open up and be himself in your presence. He likes that he can talk to you about anything and everything, and you listen to him with your full attention. Mark Lee prides himself in how strong his walls are built and how dedicated he is to his craft (being a student), but it’s like his whole resolve crumbles with the more you’re near. Ask him if he cares, because he doesn’t.

From the moment he had entered the education system at the young age of five, he never stopped. Mark immediately enrolled in college after graduating high school, barely having time to explore the woes of life. So now in his third year of his undergrad, it felt nice to finally feel alive – do everything boys his age are supposed to do. Like last night, Mark had stayed up until midnight on the phone with you, giggling over the drama you two had started watching together during your study breaks. Even after you both had hung up the call, you two had continued to send messages to one another. By the time Mark had fallen asleep, it really wasn’t that late to the normal person, but Mark Lee has a bedtime that he did not follow. Hence, his appearance today.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #2 get a full 8 hours of sleep every night – nothing more, nothing less.

His body feels like dead weight and he can’t stop yawning, but Mark’s heart is soaring. Not that he knows it. As smart as he is, he’s also a big idiot atoning these fluttering feelings to the excitement of having a new friend around. He doesn’t think much about the fact that his favorite part of the day isn’t putting in his earphones while sat in front of a pile of textbooks anymore, but going to meet you in between classes.

Fueled by caffeine from his second iced tea of the day (coffee makes him feel sick), Mark is basically skipping towards you sat on a bench under the tree. He can’t wait to gush to you about the new topic he’s learning about in his lit class, but the words die down in his throat when he sees the look on your face.

You’re sat stiff on the bench, hands balled into fists as you struggle to catch your breath. Instead of greeting him with that glowing smile of yours, he’s met with a solemn Y/N. It’s like a dark rain cloud was brewing a storm over your head and when Mark approaches with a soft call of your name, he sees the tears brimming your eyes, only to fall free when he asks what’s wrong. Your lip quivers as you struggle to find the words to answer your friend and Mark feels like his whole world is falling apart.

He moves quickly to sit next to you, arms moving to wrap around your shaking figure, but he doesn’t quite make it all the way. Everyone knows Mark is not a physically affectionate person and he’s never done anything more than shove your shoulder when you made a joke he didn’t like. This was new territory for him, to comfort a crying friend, which is why he’s sat frozen with his torso turned towards you, arms in the air, looming above your form and not making contact. Mark’s mouth gapes open and closed like a fish, thinking about what he can say to comfort you, but you take matters into your own hands and fully lean into the boy. Your face buries itself into his shirt as you wail like a baby and Mark has no choice but to finally engulf you in his arms when he feels your tears seep through the fabric.

“Remember that project I was working on all last week?” you muffle into his chest. Mark hums in response because of course he remembers. He remembers how hard you had slaved over your project, doing your best to ensure that it was perfect. But he also remembers how excited you were to have this as your assignment, how bright your eyes had shone when you told Mark how confident you were in the topic to execute it well. This class of yours wasn’t the easiest for you, so it was like a breath of fresh air for you to finally understand something being presented. “My professor kept me after class and tore me to fucking shreds. Told me everything I had written was wrong and the whole thing was crap a-and basically said I should drop the class because I’m clearly not understanding anything!”

All Mark does is wrap his arms tighter around you, resting his cheek atop your head. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he mumbles into your hair and you pull back abruptly, gripping his shirt in your hands.

“Am I really that stupid?” you hiccup, screwing your eyes shut. “That my professor tells me to drop out of his class?”

“Hey hey hey,” Mark scolds you, gripping your shoulders tight, basically shaking sense into you. “You’re not stupid, he’s stupid! You try so hard, Y/N and you shouldn’t discredit yourself like that.”

Sniffling, you give Mark a small, yet sad smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes and he’s grown furious now. “I don’t think I’m trying hard, I’m just trying my best.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” he affirms, raising a hand to pat your hair. “Being a student isn’t easy, but you’re doing it! Don’t let one lousy professor tell you otherwise – I say you stick it to him and not drop.”

“I don’t know…” you laugh, trailing off in thought. “There’s a lot I have to think about. If I stay, he’ll probably give me hell, but if I actually drop, I’d be saving my GPA but my pride would be hurt.”

Mark purses his lips, then snakes his hands down to yours and pulls you up from the bench with him. “Tell you what,” he starts, tugging you to walk with him. “You don’t have to think about it right now, but how about we clear our heads and go do something?”

You’re struggling to keep up with Mark’s quick steps, the strap of your bag slipping off your shoulder. “Do what? Don’t you have class?” you interrogate him, pulling at his arm. “And can you slow down a little?”

He complies, slowing his walk to a normal pace and turns to you with a grunt. “What’s with all the questions? Just trust me,” he rolls his eyes and moves to stand behind you. Mark nudges you forward in the direction he wants despite your protests. “And don’t worry about my classes, I’ll take a sick day or something. I can’t just leave you by yourself after seeing you cry like that!”

“I’m fine, Mark” shrieking, you reach behind you to make him let go of you. “It’s really okay! You don’t have to break your perfect attendance record for me.” He finally stops forcing you to come with him, stepping to the side to walk alongside you with a light hand on your back to keep you from running.

“I don’t have to, but I want to” he smiles down at you, which you return with an unimpressed look. “What are friends for, right?” You finally give up, letting Mark take you to wherever he had in mind to do whatever.

“Fiiine,” you relent and take a step closer to his side. “But you’re paying!” Mark smiles at you again, wrapping his arm fully around you for the second time that day in a side hug before dropping it to hang in between your bodies.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #5 DO NOT SKIP CLASS (unless you’re sick and I mean dying).

From bike riding to ice cream in the park, Mark kept you busy all afternoon. You have to applaud his efforts with the way he was constantly cracking lame jokes just to pull your face up and encouraging you (peer pressure) to let him buy you a second cup of ice cream. If you could give Mark Lee his flowers for making you feel better right now, you totally would, but instead you settled for treating him to the little Lego figurines he had been eyeing in the trinket store you visited.

“Uhhh,” the boy basically moans in delight. “Since we didn’t go to class, this is perfect to stimulate our brains!”

You chuckle at how ridiculous he is and how silly he looks. The two of you are sat on a picnic table in a random park, unboxing your figurines to build. Mark had picked a hippo and a penguin while you just chose to build a cat. The excitement is basically rolling off his body as he vibrates in his seat, tearing into the box and plastic bag containing the pieces. “You that excited?”

Mark makes a face at you from across the table, almost as if he’s offended. “Of course I am! For ages 8 and up, easy work dude” he basically brags, chest puffing up. “Thank you for getting these, Y/N. I didn’t mean to linger on them long enough for you to feel like you had to get them.”

“I wanted to,” you chirp, shaking your head. “It’s the least I could do for you after all you’ve done for me today.” He says nothing, glancing at you for a moment before continuing to build his penguin. A grin slips onto his face as he watches you struggle with the tiny pieces, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

You both continue to build in silence, enjoying each others company as the sun starts its journey to dreamland. The sky is painted in hues of gold, pinks, and blues, the warmth starting to settle between you two. Mark notices the rays coming down on his skin at looks up at the beautiful sight, quickly pulling his phone out to snap a picture.

“I have to send this to my friend, Renjun” he hums, satisfied look on his face. “He’s gonna love this.”

You coo at Mark and he ignores you, finishing up his penguin. “You send your friend pictures of the sunset often?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, busying his fingers with the pieces. “Renjun’s an artist so I like to send him stuff I think looks pretty. Maybe he’d draw it or something, but he never asked me to stop so I just keep doing it.”

Biting down on your lip, you have to contain your smile and squeals at how endearing this guy was. “I hope he’s drawn at least one of them” you voice. “I know if someone sent me pictures of every sunset, I’d cherish it.”

Mark laughs in response, but trails off as he starts to think. He’s finished his penguin now, rolling the figure between his fingers. It’s only the size of his palm, but he doesn’t think he’ll get to finish the hippo as this took him nearly an hour. It’ll be dark soon.

“Y/N,” he starts somewhat sheepish. “Why don’t you have any friends?”

His question freezes you in your seat and you eye him from under your lashes. “I have friends,” you utter. “I’m friends with my roommate.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he stutters. With the way the air has shifted, Mark feels as if he hit a nerve. “It’s just t-that everytime I see you on campus, you’re alone! I don’t really see you talking to anyone else…”

Also finished with your cat figure, you fold your hands into your lap and stare it down. “Is that a bad thing?”

He shakes his head furiously, reaching a hand across the table to tap on it and get your attention. “No, no! Not at all” he insists and takes your cat to stand next to his penguin. “I was just curious, I’m sorry if I made you upset.”

Looking back up at the boy across of you, the corners of your mouth turn up to give him a small grin. “It’s okay, Mark. There’s nothing wrong with asking questions” you explain. “It’s not like I don’t want friends, I just don’t really know how to make them? I’m not the type of person to strike up a conversation out of the blue… Even with group projects, it’s a little hard for me to open up.”

“You?” Mark scoffs. “Not the type of person to make conversation with strangers? Then how do you explain how we became friends.” To prove his point, Mark inches your Lego figures closer together.

“I guess you’re right,” you laugh, throwing your hands in the air. “I don’t really know what’s up with me then. But at least I have you now, right?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, chuckling to himself too. “Yeah, you got me now. So don’t you worry, Y/N. I’ll send you pictures of every sunset I capture.”

You bring your hands together, clasping them against your cheek as you look out into the horizon. Watching the bright sky paint itself in an array of different colors before it says goodbye for the day, you’ve never felt more content. And Mark does the same, eyes following the rays of gold bleed into pink, but he doesn’t think he can enjoy it as much as you do right now.

He just can’t believe that he’s here with you in a random park in the city. Instead of sitting in class, he’s sitting at a table building animals out of extremely tiny Lego pieces. Mark didn’t even send his professors a courtesy email that he wasn’t going to be present today, too focused on helping you feel better. He’ll never admit it out loud, but he was also busy trying to forget that gloomy look on your face. It was the first time Mark had ever seen you cry, and he hopes it will be the last.

A part of him also understands you. The overwhelming pressure of having to do well and not wanting to wave a white flag for the sake of your confidence in yourself. Mark knows it all too well. He also knows how hard it can be to make friends here. No one ever attempts to get to know Mark, only approaching to ask if he’d accompany them on a romantic date or help them pass their classes. It took him a while to learn how to say no, and thank God he did. He’s content in his little bubble with the good friends he has, but sometimes he wonders what life would be like if he just gave in. Who would Mark Lee be if he wasn’t so stubborn in his ways?

“Y/N,” he begins again. “Do you think I’m difficult?”

Turning your gaze away from the darkening sky, you give Mark a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“Like,” he sighs, crossing his arms across his chest. He looks down at the table in front of him, chewing on his lip. “Do you think I’m hard to deal with? Am I too stubborn to talk to?”

His explanation doesn’t fix your confusion, continuing to look at him funny. “No, Mark. It’s very easy for me to be around you,” you correct him, moving a hand to gesture between both your bodies. “I’m sat here with you— our first time hanging out off campus, by the way, after you comforted me while I cried into your shirt earlier today.”

“This was the most fun I’ve had in a while!” you continue, gushing when Mark doesn’t respond. “I’m not sure what’s going on in that big head of yours, but I enjoy your company. Heck, I asked you to be my friend during our second meeting! You are anything but difficult.”

Mark looks up, taking in the sight of you sat across of him. The sky has turned into a pretty pink as the sun has started it’s descent closer to the horizon and it’s casted over you beautifully. There must be a magic in the air that has sparked a look in your eyes that is so comforting. He’s been wary of the elation he’s felt since the day he met you. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but in that moment, Mark has never been so sure in his life about going against everything he set himself up for.

“Come on,” Mark smiles and nods his head towards the path. “Let’s go home.”

Johnny hears shuffling from Marks room and decided to peak in. Cracking the bedroom door open, he’s met with the boy pacing back and forth, combing his hand through his hair frantically. He can hear Mark mumbling to himself, using his hands to express whatever he was feeling to himself. “Dude,” Johnny calls out and Mark snaps his head towards the sound so fast, he thinks he’s got whiplash. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Fuck if I know!” he roars, placing both hands on his head. “If anyone can tell me what’s wrong with me, PLEASE DO.”

The older boy sighs, stepping through the threshold as he prepares himself for what’s about to come. He’s used to Mark being on edge, but this is the guy who apologizes whenever he swears. “Come here, buddy” Sat on Marks’ bed, Johnny pats the seat beside him and Mark obliges. His head is hung low and lips set into a deep pout. “Tell Johnny what’s wrong.”

Mark lets out a sigh of his own, whining as he falls back onto his bed and stares at the ceiling. He had just woken up from his 3pm nap he takes every other day that lasts precisely an hour and a half. Two hours if he feels like treating himself, but today, Mark had woken up in a cold sweat just a little after 8pm.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #3 if you need a nap, only nap on MWF when you end classes early (only nap for 2 hours MAX).

As soon as he sat up, eyes blown wide, he let out a hushed “oh fuck.” He’s usually so tired that he never dreams. Ever. But this time, all he could see in his slumber was you. You, who he had seen just a few days ago after ditching classes. Forget everything he felt and thought that day because it was starting to feel a little too real.

It came to him in flashes, like he was in some sort of stupid movie. From walking down the street together, to banging on rigged claw machines, to simply sitting across of you at the picnic table in the park, Mark dreamt of every moment you had spent with him. Except, whenever he laid eyes on you, the whole world had slowed down to a serene still and tints of light illuminated around your entire being. And when you smiled like you always did, little bells started chiming.

Oh, the bells. That dream was straight out of those romance movies Haechan likes to watch regularly. What kind of sick world is this?

“I’m so screwed, man” he voices, rubbing a hand over his face. “I-I think I like Y/N. Whatever that means…”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Johnny muses. “If you like her, then you like her. Y/N’s that girl you’ve been hanging around with a lot?”

Mark sits up fully, head still hanging low. He can’t believe he’s having this conversation right now, even if he lowkey knew it was coming. “Yeah, that’s her” he mumbles. “I swear she hexed me or something! I skipped class the other day to hangout with her, been eating way too many vending machine snacks, and haven’t been getting my full 8 hours of sleep, bro! That’s so not like me.”

“First of all, you’re an idiot. Girls aren’t witches, they’re just celestial beings” Johnny scoffs, rolling his eyes at his young friend. “Second of all, did she force you to do all those things?”

“What? No,” Mark protests. “I wanted to do all those things, with her.”

“Okayyy,” Johnny rolls. “Are your grades slipping from ditching or not sleeping?”

Mark blinks at the boy sitting next to him. “No, I’m a week ahead in all my classes.”

“Then what’s the problem here, man?” Johnny belts, standing to his full height. “Cause I’m not seeing it!”

Still sat on his bed, Mark stomps his feet a little as he whines. “Johnny” he complains. “The problem is I’ve broken every single rule I made for myself. For just one person! Like I said, this isn’t like me and I’m not sure how to handle it.”

“Look Mark,” Johnny chastises, moving to sit next to him again on the bed. “I love you, dude. I really do and I admire how hard you’re working towards your education, but I wish you would just let yourself breathe a little.” Mark sits in silence, taking in every word. “I’m so glad that you’ve been following these rules you set for yourself and it’s been working, but why are you stopping yourself from experiencing something everyone dreams of? Why are you so scared?”

Great question that he doesn’t really know the answer to. He’s not scared of you, exactly. Marks more scared of the feelings you give him. You’re not trying to change his ways or who he is, in fact, you’ve been trying your damn hardest to fit yourself into Marks usual routine. You don’t make fun of him for his little quirks and comments and he likes how comfortable you make him feel. He likes how you just go with the flow of things, making it a breeze to just enjoy himself in that moment with you. Mark likes how he no longer feels the weight of the world when he’s around you.

Mark likes you. But he’s never felt this way before about anyone. Not even Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four while all his friends were drooling over their TV screens.

With pursed lips, Mark looks up to his friend with pleading eyes. “What do I have to do?”

“That’s not the question you should be asking,” Johnny smiles at him, shaking his head lightly. “You’re the most hardworking guy I know, no matter what you’re doing. Are you willing to put in that same effort with Y/N?”

Later that night, Mark lays awake and stares at his ceiling in the dark. He’s got one arm folded under his head and the other laid across his chest, deep in thought about the conversation he had with Johnny. He took way too long of a nap, so now he can’t fall asleep. Not to mention how his phone had been pinging with messages from you, but they remained unanswered as he contemplated.

What was he to do with you?

He could just pretend that he never had this groundbreaking realization. He could continue to remain the way he is with you, just friends. Mark doesn’t even know how you’d react to his feelings, but he can’t say he’s afraid to find out. Even if you were to turn him down, tell him he’s got no chance at romance, he doesn’t think he’d mind. Like yeah, he’d be pretty devastated, but who wouldn’t be? After talking with Johnny some more earlier today, he realizes how sure he is with the way his heart feels. He’s dumbfounded that this is happening to him, but he’s not embarrassed at all. Who knew that you, who had wanted to be his friend after only meeting for the second time, would be the one to change his entire view? Mark didn’t even want to be your friend at first, but here he is, possibly wanting something more.

You probably would think the switch was so sudden and Mark wouldn’t be able to tell you anything else. He doesn’t think you’re the type to completely cut him out if you don’t feel the same way, but there’s always that small chance in anything. He doesn’t know what to do with you, but he also has no clue what he would do without you. Groaning into the night air, Mark turns over to his side. He’s face to face with the bright numbers on his alarm clock that read 1:27 AM. Deciding to leave this problem to tomorrows Mark, he screws his eyes shut and tries to force himself to sleep. But he just lays there, staring at the dark behind his eyes still completely awake and tries to think of something that will put him to bed. And oh of course, all Mark can see is you.

He lets you consume him, taking every glimpse of you in and god damn Y/N, you are doing nothing to help! Marks leg starts to shake under the covers, twitching himself awake til he starts tossing and turning. Eventually, Mark gives up. He can’t get comfortable at all. Ripping his comforter off his body, Mark moves quickly to stand up and shoulder on a flannel that draped over his desk chair. Hasty fingers grab for his glasses and his phone before he books it out the door to God knows where.

No, Mark knows where he’s going in the dead of night. After walking you home the other day, he realized just how close you two were, living just a 10 minute walk away. But with the way Mark is moving, he finds himself standing outside of your apartment building in just 7 minutes. He’d move to enter, but he doesn’t actually know which unit you live in. So like the completely sane person he is, Mark starts shouting into the night, disturbing the peace.

“Y/N!” he howls, hands cupped over his mouth. There’s a few lights he can see on through the windows, but none of them show movement. “Y/N, it’s Mark!”

There’s only one window that’s open, and Mark sees the curtains tear open. There you stand, looking down at him from the fourth floor with disbelief all over your face. “Mark!” you whisper shout. This boy must have lost his damn mind to disturb you and your neighbors at this time, after ignoring your messages all night. “Are you insane?”

“Just come down, please” he brings his hands together, in a begging and pleading gesture. “I have to talk to you.”

Sighing, you move away from your window and start to make your way down to the front of your building. You’re praying to whoever’s listening that you don’t get any complaints in the morning from Mark screaming in the courtyard. Like seriously, he could have just called you quietly on his phone. You can see it hanging out of his pocket, but you assume he really is out of his mind when you take in his form.

He’s pacing again, fidgeting as you approach him closer and only snaps out of it when he sees you in the glow of the dim street lamps. “Hi,” he exhales and you just continue to eye him suspiciously.

“Hi,” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “What’s going on, Mark? It’s nearly 2 AM, you could have just called me.”

Mark smiles sheepishly at you, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he mumbles, kicking the ground underneath him. “I wasn’t really thinking…”

“Clearly,” you muse, grinning at him. This is the most casual you have ever seen Mark, who never leaves the house unless he’s in a pair of jeans or nice pants. You can tell how much of a hurry he was in, dressed in old basketball shorts and slippers on his feet. The flannel he was wearing over his white tee was also inside out, but you don’t point it out to him. “But you’re thinking about something to come all the way here. What did you wanna tell me?”

“Uhhh,” he stutters, eyes darting around the dark, avoiding your gaze. “I didn’t wake you, right? I’m really sorry for not calling first.”

You shake your head no, waving him off. You were already awake, but it’s the weekend tomorrow so you have nothing to be up early for. The only important thing you were doing was doom scrolling on your feed. Mark would have known you were still awake if he had just checked his damn phone. Even if he wasn’t interrupting anything important, you still wish that Mark would spit it out. He just nods at your explanation, still not meeting your eyes and says nothing.

“Hey,” you call out, poking his middle with your finger. He caved into it, swatting your hand away because Mark Lee is ticklish. “Take your time, find the words. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Mark finally looks into your eyes, softening at the way they’re pouring into his. Your lips are curled into the prettiest smile and Mark thinks you have really nice teeth. It’s all enough to squeeze at his heart, causing his blood to pump furiously in his chest. He feels it tighten and tighten, until it finally explodes.

“I’m all bent outta shape, dude” he rants, staring right at you. “And it’s all because of you!”

You frown at his confession, wondering if he really came all the way over here just to call you out. “What did I do to you, dude?“

His shoulders slump and he rubs at his eyes. Sleep is finally getting to him now that he’s here, but Mark has always been way too good and getting what he wants to give up. “Everything,” he basically whines like a child. “And I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Mark looks to the sky, eyes screwed shut as he lets out a long exhale. You’re still confused as to what he’s trying to get at, but seeing him so perplexed himself has you concerned.

“Mark,” you coax, touching his arm lightly to bring him back down to Earth. “If I did something to upset you, I’m really sorry. But could you please tell me exactly what happened so I can fix it?”

Eyeing when your hand meets his skin, he smirks lightly at the tingling waves that shot up his arm. He taps the hand that connects him in a reassuring manner before completely engulfing it in his own. “I’m just being dramatic, it’s not that bad” he offers, stroking a thumb over your knuckles. Goosebumps peak through your skin at the gesture. “You did nothing wrong. It’s just…”

He trails off, looking down at your intertwined hands. “I have these rules for myself, called ‘Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone’ and I’m not trying to one up everyone I meet with this. It’s all just to help me succeed and be my best self as a student” he’s nervous as he wears his heart on his sleeve for you when he hears you laugh, but it quickly dissipates when you give his hand a squeeze in reassurance. Come on, it was a funny name! “And I’ve been really good at following them! It’s definitely helped me to stay on track, but from that first day we met in the library, I’ve just been breaking all of them.”

“Oh,” you gasp, quickly letting go of him to shy into yourself. “I’m sorry, Mark. Really, I never meant for you to go off track.”

“No, it’s okay!” he assures you, grabbing his hand back into his. In the middle of 70 degree weather, Mark felt cold for the split second you let go. “It’s not your fault and I don’t mind it at all. My point is, it’s just not like me at all to do this and I didn’t realize why until now.”

“I’m so used to being strict in my ways because it’s been working well for me, but here you come along, making it so unbelievably easy to forget it all,” you’re still not sure what he’s hinting at, but you continue to let him talk. “Forget it and realize that it’s not so bad as long as I’m with you, Y/N. I like that I can still be myself without all these rules or barriers, I can still sit in the library all night with you sleeping across of me.”

Mark can’t help the smile on his face at how wide your eyes have blown, almost as if you couldn’t believe what he was alluding to. He also can’t believe it, but the more he speaks, the more it feels right. Even if he feels like he’s saying a whole lotta nothing. But it’s something alright and you feel your heart start to beat a little quicker. You hope Mark can’t tell how your hands have started to clam up and tremble in his hold.

“I like the feeling you give me, that everything’s gonna be okay and I have nothing to worry about” he beams at you, steadying your shakiness with a tight grip. “I like you, Y/N.”

You say nothing, taking it all in. Mark starts to shuffle on his feet, loosening his hold on your hand but not fully letting go so you can’t book it inside. He should speak up and add that you don’t have to respond to him right now, because it really is sudden. It just felt like a good time to tell you, even though 2 AM is never a good time for anyone. But you cut him off before you get the chance, grinning like a Cheshire Cat at the nervous boy in front of you.

“You didn’t even wanna be my friend at first,” you point out, tapping your chin in thought with your free hand. “Now here you are, holding my hand and confessing to me in the dead of night?” You’re teasing him and he knows it.

“Ugh, I know” he exclaims, looking like a kicked puppy. “I’m just a stupid, dumb, idiot boy and I really felt bad for how I treated you that day.” You giggle quietly, stopping him from dropping to his knees in front of you to beg for forgiveness. “I know this all came so fast and I know I have a lot to learn. A lot of things to grow into, but I feel like I can do that as long as I’m planted next to you.”

The taunting coo you let out does nothing to cover the blush rushing to your cheeks. You move your arms to wrap fully around his neck, standing on your tip toes to hide your flushed face in his shoulder. Mark reciprocates, encircling you in his hold completely as he pulls you closer to him. “You’re so cute” you squeal, nuzzling your face closer and inhaling his scent. “You’re so sweet, Mark. I will gladly plant myself next to you.”

You pull away slightly, still face to face with the boy who is also blushing. He’s fighting back a smile, the apples of his cheeks making a prominent appearance. “Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” he’s so clueless with the way he asks you the question, causing you to laugh again. If anyone were overlooking the two of you right now, all smiles and blushing messes, they’d think you’re insane.

“Do you want me to be?” you press further and Mark nods his head vigorously. His hold tightens around you for the nth time that night.

“Can I be honest real quick?” he utters, staring deep into your eyes. He’s been honest this whole time, you don’t know why he needs to ask. “I’m kinda scared…”

You pat his shoulder reassuringly, standing further on your toes to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “We can go as slow as you’d like, Mark. I’ll be here all the way.” Mark feels a wave of warmth wash over him, suddenly feeling bold and straightens his back.

“I think you missed,” he states. You’re back to wondering what the hell he was talking about until you feel his lips on yours.

The kiss is soft, short, but sweet. It’s enough to unleash a cage of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. It’s enough for Mark to know exactly how you feel, even if you never said it.

Pulling away, you two share a shy smile as you lean your forehead against his. You play with the hair on the nape of his neck as you lean back in for another. So much for going slow, Mark thinks as he’s basically clawing at your sides to pull you unbelievably closer to him. He breaks away first this time, leaning into your neck as if he can’t get enough of you.

“Go home, Mark” you laugh at the tickling feeling against your skin. “I’ll see you after we’ve both had some rest, okay?”

He only sighs loudly and dramatically before pulling back, reluctant to release his hold on you. His feet step away from you slowly, towards the direction of his own apartment building. Mark doesn’t want to go. Mark wants to spend all his time with you, even in the middle of the night, but he listens to your request anyway. You’ve gotten him wrapped around your finger, after all. He knows you’ll have all the time in the world, starting now and he can’t wait for the days to come.

Mark Lee’s guide to being better than everyone: rule #1 no dating of any kind to prevent distraction (90 and above or no love).

Spoiler: Mark keeps his 3.9 GPA until graduation and graduating with honors is literally nothing compared to the love you shower him in.

mani's notes: i hope you enjoyed reading this! yk true cloudykyu fashion is no real plot lines and whiplash time skips lol it's my first long fic since coming back so i would appreciate any feedback :D please let me know your thoughts in the tags or my ask box!! <3 happy valentines day unless you're mark lee

#nct #nct mark #nct mark x reader #nct x reader #mark lee x reader #mark lee scenarios #mark lee au #nct au #nct fic #mark lee fic #nct fluff #nct college au

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erideights · 2 years ago

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Little pieces here and there (3)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, two, four, five

Word Count: around 2K again.

Warnings: minimum context of the arlong park part of the story (background), MUTUAL FLIRTING, forbiden pinning of them both, Buggy has his body back *wiggling eyebrows*, sexy times

A/N: devil works hard but i'm working harder, every 5 free min i have from work/class/practices i'm writing on my phone, i'ts actually insane and i love it (ROAD TO CHAPTER 4?? If you like this one and want the next one, please let me know!)

Oh, he was mad. He was really mad.

Maybe "sexually frustrated" was a way more accurate term given the circumstances but the feeling was so strong, so visceral, he was sure he was reaching a point where jumping to the sea to end that agony -even if a bit exaggerated, like him always, everywhere and for everything- was justified.

Somewhere in Arlong Park, Buggy could feel the boner pressing his pants, demanding to be satisfied; dirty talk was one of his true passions and when (Y/N) played that card on him, being capable of picturing himself with her on his lap, that damn woman so -actually- close to his face in that moment he was already tasting her lips, her low, smooth voice driving him insane, he could not help it, but get turned on so easily and so strong is been hours, and he's still mad, incapable of stop thinking about that.

That is, perhaps, the reason he feels relief as soon as the sun rises and Usopp is back on the helm again, asking for directions as Buggy, in fact, demands to go faster. Like instead of slicing and dicing his body, his power could control the wind that propelled the boat or the force of the waves against the hull.

(Y/N) ran away just after such a -even if brief- conversation. She may have broken his balls with that dirty trick, but she was equally a victim of her own game. She knew what to say to push Buggy and leave him so stunned -to speak- that the poor clown didn't have the chance to fight back at that moment, not without his body to help him keep her in that kitchen, lift her up on the counter, force her to back down, regret even thinking she could do that to him, and then, only then, yes, fuck her until she wakes up the rest of her little and - according to him - pathetic crew with her moans.

Or so the girl imagined, leaning against the door of her room, eyes closed, heart slightly racing, fighting the temptation to lie down on the bed and masturbate thinking about what had just happened.

Which included him. Him!! What the hell, was she actually losing her mind? All that damn flirting had really gotten into her, for fucks sake, because regardless of her finding him quite interesting when they met, this attraction was something else.

Lately everything around her was something else. Did she really think through the decision of leaving her mercenary life behind and follow those kids to the Grand Line? Did she really think through the decision of flirting back with a psychopath clown?

Because in the end it's just that, right? Flirting. Was nothing else, is nothing else, and will be nothing else. She doesn’t want it to be something more, that's for sure; there's no need for unnecessary complications and extra headaches. In the meantime, it's fun, a bit of a backfire kind of situation, a bit -sexually- frustrating, but fun.

After a good ol' resting night and already some hours into the new day, (Y/N) notices that it's been a lot, since their encounter in the kitchen to be precise, that Buggy not only doesn't flirt with her, but doesn't talk that much or even look at her as amazed as before. Of course, he is, also, way less annoying, which Zoro subtly points out clearly pleased with how calm, nice and silent this morning is.

At some point she shakes her head, knowing, or at least guessing, the reason for this behavior, so she decides to check no one's around and the rudder is locked in the right direction, and then goes to where the bag with his head is, closed probably by the sniper when he got the last indications he needed from him. She opens it, lowering it until the clown's head is free on top of that barrel.

"How are you doing, Bugs?" she starts with a funny little smile, looking intently at him as she leans her back forward to leave her face level with his. "It's been hours I don't hear your raspy voice, I'm starting to miss it."

Silence. Absolute indifference besides the sidelong glance he gives her because let's face it, Buggy is annoyingly proud, extremely, exaggeratedly, but he loves attention. He likes nothing more than receiving it, no matter where, when, and from who, and she could see it as soon as they met.

"Also your silly nicknames for me" She grants, giving in. She would also be mad as hell if someone leaves her as horny as she knew she left him, so she doesn't have any problem being the one to start the tug-war this time.

"Already tired of the shidiots?" He finally asks, almost drily, after a minute; now he is the one to play difficult, huh? "No wonder, they don't even know where to start being pirates."

"Oh, of course, because no one compares to the famous Buggy The Clown, the colorful nightmare or the East Blue." Playful, she retreats a bit, resting her hip in the barrel, arms crossed over her chest.

"Quit the sarcasm doll, you know I'm right." Well, he was, in fact, right. None of them had real experience in the whole i-wanna-become-a-pirate thing, still, they were doing pretty good to be newbies. She was quite proud of them.

"I cannot wait to have my body back" he then murmurs, adding before she could say anything else about her new friends. "To do what?" She asks, you know, like she didn't know.

"Take a guess"

"Recover your spotlight? Find a new crew and a way to enter the Grand Line to go search the One Piece and be the king of the pirates?" (Y/N) mocks, clearly enjoying being the annoying one this time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah'' Buggy rolls his eyes, scoffing. ''All that, but not before making you regret what you did last night." To that accusation she gasps, resting her right hand over her chest "What did I do last night?"

The clown falls silent again, but his mood is completely different. Right now he's not pissed off, it's obvious that this time, instead of flirting with her in a casual and natural way, he’s thinking what to say, choosing carefully his words to return a fraction of the effect she had on him hours ago.

His eyes darken, and his voice goes octaves lower and raspier. "Sweetheart, there will be no possible escape from what I plan to do with you. At the slightest opportunity I will make you cum on me so many times you will be the one to find the One Piece without needing to go to the Grand Line, but first…'' He pauses, breathes, and lets it go calmly, like the intimidating, psychopathic calculator she saw at the circus and not that flirty cartoonish version she got to know on the ship. ''you will beg for it."

She knows she shouldn't surrender to this type of tease, but she also can't and doesn't want to avoid it. Getting heavily carried away, without thinking about it twice, one of the girl's hands slides to the back of his neck, slipping under the bandana, and tugs his hair aggressively as she leans in again to speak close to his face. He grunts in pure satisfaction, closing his eyes for a second. Of course (Y/N) is, once again, taking advantage of the fact that he cannot defend himself no being more than a head, and the fact is that he enjoys like a condemned bastard those small but intense gestures the girl has given him since they met at the circus.

He can't wait to break a woman like her. And oh, he will.

"Are you sure about that?" Hearing distant steps, someone from the crew coming out on deck and climbing the stairs, she gets some distance from him, acting naturally, closing the bag again around his head. "My expectations just skyrocketed, I hope you don't disappoint."

By the end of the day, the Konomi Islands begin to appear on the horizon, and as soon as they set foot on them, shits get really serious. The situation of the poor people who live there is heartbreaking, so for two days, no one dares to make a single joke, Luffy's usual energy and bubbly positivity is nowhere to be seen, and of course, the interactions of (Y/N) and Buggy are reduced to = 0. The clown's head is no longer of any real use to them, and it’s poor Sanji, the new recruit, who’s carrying it around just in case.

At least until they reach Arlong Park.

Again, (Y/N) is not exactly the type of mercenary expert in martial arts and although she knows how to defend herself, fighting like Zoro or Sanji is, in few words, impossible. Her only advantage is being very, very fast, and knowing how to use the scenery to her advantage, so it doesn't take long for her to hide here and there among the different tents and attractions in the area to get rid of the most straggler fishmen, with a knife she got long ago during one of her jobs, capable of cutting their tough skin easily.

Everything happens so fast and is so chaotic that apart from some screams and blows in the background and having seen Usopp running towards the forest, (Y/N) is completely unaware of what is happening in the main complex.

A strong pull on her left arm activates her flight or fight response as one last fish falls dead to the ground in front of her. Raising the knife, in a quick movement, she tries to defend herself by aiming at the stranger's neck, although in vain; a pair of lips whose red has already been worn for days impact against hers, stealing her breath, a small moan escaping her. Eyes wide open, she barely registers the blurry color of Buggy's nose when two strong hands squeeze her hips as if the life of the clown depended on it, pushing the girl against the wall of the building behind them, cornering her without any type of delicacy.

She hadn't heard from him since they reached the island. Hell, she didn't even know he had got his full body back and was already so close to it that air was unable to pass between each other.

Of course, the moment the clown's head joined the rest of himself -the feeling much better than he remembered- he fucked off his captors and decided to flee. Not before making a vital stop along the way.

The ideas about how to proceed with her once he was whole were very, very different in his wild fantasies, but when he saw the girl's back, he knew that the only thing that would -partially- calm his yearning would be to kiss her before disappearing as fast as possible. To taste her lips, to feel her warmth.

Still not recovered from the shock of the kiss, Y/N doesn't remove the knife from the clown's neck, but he couldn't care less; quite the opposite. He is so turned on and waited so much -again, exaggerated- for this he doesn't know yet how he will be able to break the kiss, take distance from her, and run away.

Passionately carried away, moved by his most primitive instincts, Buggy sneaks one of his legs between hers, pressing in between them as Y/N inhales through her nose and her free hand flies to his vest, pulling it a little.

It wasn't the time, nor the place, to think about fucking that asshole, but damn, after all the teasing and the tension and the adrenaline of the fight--

And just when she starts fully giving in to him, he retreats just enough, panting a bit, and looks at her now red, stained lips, eyes darkened and full of lust. Just like hers.

"Hate to leave you like this sweetheart but I have things to do and places to go. I don't want people relating me to Arlong, I would hate the bad press on my persona." He whispers, cracking his usual cruel, playful smirk when he finally puts some distance between each other.

‘’It's time to exit stage left.’’ Buggy adds, theatrically raising both hands in the air. ‘’I promise I’ll see you around.’’

And like this, he stars running away again. Where? She doesn't know, or even guess at this moment, too busy registering the kiss in her memory, the way his lips felt on hers, how his nose pressed her cheek the entire time, or his hands grabbed onto her for dear life.

Bastard.

''You better'', she whispers to herself.

#buggy x reader #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy the clown fanfiction #buggy x you #op buggy #one piece live action #one piece x reader #captain buggy

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secriden · 4 months ago

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Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful for the journey Fadel is forced to take in episode 9. In previous meta posts, I shared my thoughts on how the show chose to tackle previous discussions about 'love': for eg Episode 4 was really a promise of safety (which tragically becomes unfounded) and Episode 5 was really an exploration of trust and trust betrayed -- but I think Episode 9 is finally when we are dealing with love in a head-on collision between Style's unflinching commitment to stay by Fadel's side and Fadel's anger and fear of loving; a conflict which utterly demolished the last of Fadel's crumbling walls.

Because, while Episode 8 did give us this beautifully tender moment of shared camaraderie -- one where they were both filled with wonder at witnessing the way love can overcome hurt and anger, the way forgiveness can make a pathway to happiness; and a moment they were both aware of and wordlessly acknowledged to each other -- it was, unfortunately, also almost immediately tainted by this:

You can see the resignation and cynicism in the way Fadel is holding himself. This wasn't a betrayal from Style, but it was a harsh reminder for Fadel that love can be deceptive and harmful no matter the guise. Even when it (love) isn't aimed at him, he winds up betrayed (deceived) and in danger, and literally hurting (it's the first time Fadel overtly shows how much pain his broken arm is causing him), and it makes sense why we see Fadel harden once again after this point.

And as frustrating as it was for us to watch, I'm also glad that the show made room for Fadel's retreat behind the last of his walls. Because at the core of Fadel's fear is the experience he’s had that love, and more importantly loving, has always brought him pain: the traumatic and sudden loss of his parents and the cruelty of a lover who (maybe? I have my suspicions...) chose not to stay with him were both lessons Fadel has deeply rooted in his heart; a fear which his desire and now love for Style is constantly at war with.

Which is why we see Fadel so firmly choosing resistance at this point. Everything about his demeanour and the harshness of his words depicts a cornered animal with his hackles raised in self-defence. You can almost see the bared teeth behind his words. He doubles down on the assurance that he will see this decision through, that Style is destined for death by his hands. It's interesting because in Episode 9, Fadel seems to have mostly given up on denying that he has any feelings for Style whenever it's brought up (partly because Style has already made it clear he doesn't believe Fadel when he does), but has instead decided to claim that those feelings aren't strong enough to save Style from Fadel's decision to kill him.

So I kind of love that the narrative immediately forces Fadel face the reality of his claims. For what better retribution could there be than Style dying by becoming tangled up in the very thing he was supposed to put Fadel in jail for? What could be more fitting then to see Style destroyed by the very aspect of Fadel's life that caused Style's betrayal?

And even more, I love that the writers chose to have Style become injured like this. Because of course the boyfriend of a hitman who is on the run from the law was going to be shot -- the trope practically demands it -- but it is just deliciously dramatic that Style gets injured precisely dressed in the clothes he'd picked out so he could "at least die in something that's actually my style" and in the place Fadel said Style would haunt only minutes prior. It forces Fadel to face not only the thought of losing Style, but puts front and centre what it means for Fadel to be the cause of that loss.

Because the thing is, Style only needs to be bait at all because Fadel forgot to bring the extra bullets for his gun; because he does not have a plan when Style asks what they should do. I love that all of Fadel's training, and even his fastidious and careful nature, is being fundamentally compromised because his mind has been too preoccupied with his complicated feelings for Style. Fadel is being forced to face the consequences of choosing to fight against his heart about Style, and that directly puts both their lives in peril. And all Fadel can do is look at Style with a wordless plea to stay safe, even as he watches Style run directly towards danger.

And I love that Style's immediate instinct is to throw himself into the situation to help. There's no hesitation, no momentary pause where Style considers running away and leaving Fadel to handle the gunman alone. Style fully embodies the promise he made to stay by Fadel's side and moreover it shows that, on an instinctive level, Style trusts his life in Fadel's hands (even though we get verbal confirmation later in the episode that Style actually was only about 50% sure that Fadel wasn't actually going to kill him in the end!! That's! Fucking incredible!?!).

Which is also why I think Fadel's anger redirects itself once they get to the island. He's at the end of his rope, a mess of emotions, arm probably still aching and then he sees Kant: the source of not only the very real threat of Fadel and Bison being caught by the police, but also the reason why Style became entangled with Fadel in the first place. Fadel cannot help but lash out at him despite it making no sense to deny Style an additional pair of helping hands and, moreover, the comfort of a true friend that he trusts and who cares about him. Fadel is not thinking clearly, but it's also a sign that the choices he is making are still fuelled more by his anger and hurt then his love.

And again, this makes a certain amount of sense. For Fadel, anger is a familiar friend; something almost comforting, that gives him a sense of control, because he understands what to do with his anger. He understands how to direct his rage in ways that are productive and help to keep the things he cares about safe.

Until, that is, Style puts his life on the line next to Kant's and suddenly the gun in his hand becomes a danger to someone he has already been forced to acknowledge (in the conversation with Bison) that he cannot kill. I adore Style so much for immediately bringing this point up, because it means that Fadel has to actually consider why he didn't just let Style die. If Style had bled out and died from the wound, it wouldn't have technically been Fadel's fault; Style was simply caught in the crossfire. It was, in some ways, a relatively guilt-free way of getting rid of Style. But everything in Fadel rebelled at the thought of letting Style die and Fadel is once again forced to confront why he held Style's hand so tightly in both of his own, why he told Bison to be gentle and careful with Style, why hearing Style yell in pain was agony to Fadel too.

And this beautiful moment of friendship also gives both us, the audience, and Fadel this incredible understanding of Style's loyalty. To Style, the thought of dying next to Kant is not something he resents, but something that merely makes him wistful. And for Fadel, this puts into perspective what it meant for Style to promise to stay by his side; the full weight of Style's devotion is laid out for him to witness, and it's enough to shake Fadel lose from the hold his anger has on him.

But even then, even now, there's still something holding Fadel back and I think it boils down to the fact that Fadel has gone down this path with someone else before, and found only betrayal at the end of the road. He has loved and thought he was loved in return; he was ready to give up his job (his security, his sense of control, his “family”) for someone who he thought he could hide his darkness from and live in happiness whilst keeping the lie between them. It's so interesting to me that Fadel was about to do the exact same thing to Style (try to get out of the hitman life without ever telling Style about it), without knowing that the possibility of it was never on the table for him.

Because Style is the very antithesis of Fadel's ex: not only does Style find out his secret well before love truly blossomed between them, Style has no fear in him (anymore) of it. This gesture is legitimately insane, but it also illustrates how thoroughly Style embraces this aspect of Fadel's past and character. Fadel has just learned a very tangible lesson about Style's loyalty to the people he cares about, so this gesture carries the weight of knowing this matters to Style, despite the carefree manner of his expression. Style gives Fadel the security of knowing that he is making his commitment to Fadel whilst also giving Fadel permission to stay the way he is. Style's love isn't for what Fadel could someday become, but for who he already is, and that encompasses a level of acceptance that is as crazy as one would expect from a person who is in love with a hitman.

And it's just so great that they actually addressed the whole "dated me for a car" thing, because Style is right. Fadel is grasping at the last embers of his anger but all of it is directed at a Style who doesn't even exist anymore. I don't even think Style was avoiding telling Fadel about this; it just genuinely was a non-issue to Style because getting to know Fadel changed so much about Style's motivations (he said as much as early as episode three), that this wasn't even a factor that Style was aware needed to be addressed. But I also appreciate why Fadel insisted on coming back to this -- because I've said before that I think the biggest part of Fadel's hurt and betrayal comes from the thought that Style's interest in him was a lie, so this was important for Fadel to vocalise, especially because it took a certain amount of vulnerability to even admit that this bothered him that much. So as silly as I personally found this plot point to be, I'm glad the show actually decided to have our boys talk explicitly about it.

But my absolutely favourite part is that the final hurdle, the thing that ultimately makes Fadel completely let go of his anger and resentment is Style threatening to drown himself (or at least make his wound become infected). Partly because it was the exact kind of hilariously overdramatic gesture that feels fitting for Style, but mostly because this gesture opens the door for Fadel to finally (literally) take steps towards Style. Fadel's previous actions in this episode -- making sure Style was stitched up after he was shot and letting Kant live after he threatened to kill him --- were both incredibly significant, but largely leaves the relationship between them at a stalemate because for the most part Fadel is reacting to the circumstances whilst still maintaining the emotional distance between them. But what Style wants, ultimately, is not just to survive this very lethal roadtrip but to actually bring about a mending of their relationship and for Fadel show that it's what he wants too.

And I've seen some call this manipulative, but I think Style actually does understand Fadel well enough to be accurate in this claim. I've mentioned before that Style seems to have an almost instinctive understanding of when to push Fadel and when to back off (in this meta post on ep 5), and I think we're finally seeing a moment when Style could tell Fadel needed a little nudge. And the reality is that Style wasn't in any real danger, but it shows us just how much of Fadel's walls have been dismantled that Fadel's concern for Style overwrote his logic and reason.

And I just find it so lovely how it cumulates in Fadel kissing Style because it's an expression of his own desire. If Fadel had kissed Style at any point between the confrontation by the empty pool and before this moment, I think it would have, at least somewhat, felt like Fadel was giving into Style's demands (for his attention, for his affection, for his forgiveness). But this moment is different because it's Fadel giving into himself -- because Fadel doesn't truly want to hold on to his anger anymore.

And this journey was so important, so necessary because it's the reason why Fadel is able to be so completely transformed by the end of episode 9. We see him become almost carefree in his affection, everything about it is open and honest and loud in a way Fadel has never been able to be before this point, and it was only possible -- only realistic from a narrative standpoint -- because the show took the time and made space in the story for Fadel to have to face the truth of his love for Style over and over again.

Because this vulnerability, this clear comfort he feels around Style, this ability to rest in Style's arms, was only possible because Fadel was forced to grapple with the full depth of his love for Style and found forgiveness and happiness and peace in letting go of the last of his fear of being in love — and in doing so, proved the truth of Styles words in episode 4: “It’s okay to (be in) love”.

#the heart killers #the heart killers the series #fadelstyle #fadel #style sattawat #thk meta #fadelstyle meta #hui talks thk #thk ep 9 #joongdunk #joong archen #dunk natachai #happy (lunar) new year to those of us who celebrate it!!#things have been very hectic for me but my boys were still often on my mind #i still feel like I need to rewatch ep 9 again but all of part 4/4 just made me so happy #Fadel being the softest most tenderly affectionate in such an open way really just made me feel so full of joy #and it was only possible because of all he went through in the narrative and I just enjoyed that so much #I’m so glad the show made so much space for Fadel to grapple with his emotions so his forgiveness felt earned and grounded

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