#to end this week just have a couple of shoutouts because I didn't have time for so many characters

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

The fun continues with three currently airing gems, a new show entering the fray, and an animated story so good I am reading a manga to keep up with it. Four of these are on Gaga and one is coming to us via fan sub. Jump on in to the weekly watch, we're having so much fun and not feeling at all overwhelmed by the deluge of amazing content! *chuckles nervously*

Takara's Treasure

I continue to love this quiet little show. This week I desperately wanted someone, anyone, to answer Taishin's earnest questions. He is doing his best to figure this out but no one is helping him! I like that despite wanting him to figure out his feelings for himself, Takara continues to reach out to Taishin to let him know his attention is welcome. This week we also met Emiri, an instant fav who taught Taishin all about stanning. I appreciate that this show joined other recent jbls in making a clear distinction between being a stan and being in love. Real love is not fanaticism, and the former is what Takara seems to want from Taishin--once he's ready.

I Hear the Sunspot

Ugh this show just gets me right in the heart. As I hoped, we got to sit with Taichi this episode as he worked through his confusion and worry about Kohei. It makes sense for Kohei to back off in the wake of his ignored confession, and it also makes sense that Taichi didn't hear him (metaphorically). And even after having it repeated in a way he can't misunderstand, he still doesn't know what to do with it. He just knows he likes Kohei and wants to be around him, and he seems okay with just leaving it at that for now. I loved, too, that we got to spend time with Kohei as he's coping with his worsening condition and get to know his mother, who is a delightful person who loves Taichi just as much as her son does. I'm so glad we are getting to see this story told properly in full in such a great adaptation.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

Finally, the truth!!! Ayaka is a menace and Hiroko is fighting for her life. Like hanging out with a niece, my ass! Most of the office misinterpreting Ayaka's behavior as crushing on Yuya instead of Hiroko continues to be hilarious, as are all Hiroko's friends trying to push her to cross the line. I was sad to learn that Risa has her own unrequited love going on; I want all the girls to end this story happily! I did love their conversation about identity, and that the show gave some space for Ayaka to consider whether lesbian is the right label for her. Checking out the lesbian bar together was a great way to test things out, and I was dying at the other girls hitting on Ayaka. Can't wait to see what happens next now that Hiroko has no more denial to cling to.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Shoutout to @isaksbestpillow for picking this show up, because it’s an instant fav! Ishida and Mitsuya are fantastic characters, and man are they GAY. This is a food drama and a story of queer men of different generations seeing something unexpected in each other and forming a surprising bond. I was pleasantly surprised by how immediately the attraction and sexual tension arrived in this story, and I want to know so much more about Mitsuya and why he seems to be holding a desperate sadness alongside all his wisdom about life. Very excited to see these two nourish each other. You can find Sirii’s subs here.

Twilight Out of Focus

I don't watch anime (do not @ me, many have tried), but @bengiyo liked the story for this one enough that he told me I can’t skip it, so I am reading the manga along with the show. And I gotta say, I loved this first story with Mao and Hisashi (this is a multi couple series so not sure how the next one will go). Ben is on vacay so I'm tagging @twig-tea to talk about the episode that aired this week.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of May 2024

[last month]

May 2024 was finals + road trip home from uni + getting settled in at home for the summer, so the songs on this month's list were the soundtrack to a really busy time for me. (Because of that, I'm extra grateful to them for helping me power through it all!) I didn't have the brainspace to be properly excited about any new releases (except Repion's at the end of the month), so a lot of the songs here kind of snuck up on me. Surprisingly, I'd still say I enjoyed May's releases more than April's, though!

1. Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

The Drake-Kendrick beef finally graced my YouTube recommended at the beginning of May, just in time for "Not Like Us" to save me from the Inevitable Finals Gloom. The beat was what hooked me at first (so string instrument!! so texture!!), but there are SO MANY good lines here--more than enough to keep me excited about this song, even after I massively overplayed it in just a few days of finals. (I'm a 'leave songs on repeat for hours as I float in and out of The Work Vortex' kind of guy, you know?)

2. Candy Store -- from the 2014 Heathers soundtrack

No complicated reason here: the vocal performances are just breathtaking, so I haven't been able to get this song off my mind for the past two weeks. Shoutout to @embraceofday for introducing me to this one! (That was a couple of years ago, I think, but somehow it came back to me recently, and I've been more obsessed than ever!)

3. Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl -- yeule

I've been getting ads for I Saw the TV Glow all month, and they worked on me--sort of? I still have no plans to see the movie, but this song from the trailer has taken my listening by storm. Lyzette G on YouTube mentioned yeule last year (I am SO jealous of their taste in music), so I'm proud to say I like a yeule song now! This is peak 'driving home on the highway at night and your heart is all sparkles because she said she'll text you later', which is one of my favorite kinds of music, actually. (Yes, this is oddly specific. But it's also like A General Feeling, you know?) It's eerily inhuman but also full of longing; it keeps a consistent, hazy atmosphere while still including a few moments of emotional punch--it's great!!

4. Down Swinging -- Holly Humberstone

Saxophone solo!!!!!!! That actually isn't my favorite part of this song, though--the way Holly Humberstone sings "watch me keep my cool tonight" at the end of every chorus is full of just SO many emotions--shame, determination, acceptance, longing--I find it captivating (really, every lyric in this chorus is a gem). I love songs like this (see also: Betty Who's "You Can Cry Tomorrow" and Lee Hi's "HOLO"), songs that aren't about being over something bad but are just about being within something bad and getting by anyway. Being stuck, and knowing you're stuck, and being okay regardless? Sometimes, I just need to know that's possible, and "Down Swinging" makes it feel more real than ever.

5. I'm the Ocean -- Neil Young

My dad and I ran across this on our (twelve-hour) drive home from my university, while we were listening through this playlist. My dad is a huge Neil Young fan, while I'm just meh about him--"I'm the Ocean" caught my attention from first listen, though, and I've been revisiting it daily since then. (Funny enough, my dad doesn't care for this one.) I love its haziness, how it walks the line between hopelessness and rage and how you're never exactly sure how to feel about the speaker, or about the song itself. I love singing "I'm the ocean / I'm a giant undertow". (Like, that is a captivating lyric. So powerful, so simple yet so layered with meaning?) I love the crunchy TV-static guitar!!!

6. From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come) [Live at Malieveld...] -- Bruce Springsteen

Spotify keeps notifying me whenever Springsteen releases a new compilation album (they know me too well...)--and he just keeps releasing them. I'm not sure I needed all these albums, but I'm glad to get this gem, at least! This one has a super-singable chorus, and the fiddle solo is SUCH a high.

7. Turn it up -- PinkPantheress

Not particularly exciting, but super fun! It's a solid serotonin jam to go on a playlist with all the early Twice title tracks.

8. No Biggie -- Itzy

SO CUTE SO CUTE I LOVE IT. With "None of My Business" + this one, I've been so glad to see how well the post-NewJeans world suits Itzy. My main problem with a lot of their music, especially title tracks, is that the songs strain their vocals in ways that end up sounding unpleasant to me--a chilled-out song like this one reminds me just how listenable Itzy's music can be!

9. Rollercoaster - MTV Unplugged -- Bleachers

I think Spotify suggested this one to me. I am THE Bleachers girlie, but I'd never heard this specific version of "Rollercoaster" and oh my GOD does it make me emotional. If you've ever cried to "Someone to You" by Banners, I think you already understand what this one makes me feel.

10. The Ghost of Tom Joad (feat. Tom Morello) - Live in Anaheim, CA -- Bruce Springsteen

My #1 song from my #1 artist!! (Sorry, "Badlands". Your top spot was beautiful while it lasted, and we've had so many good times, but I just... I don't think you're the one for me anymore...) I did an essay about Springsteen for one of my finals, believe it or not, and I talked about this song in particular, so that explains the sudden spike in listens--though it's constantly in my rotation regardless.

11. Wave - Ollounder's Bold Dynamics Mix -- Ateez

It's a time-honored tradition, now: trashy club remixes are my THING during finals. This one stuck with me all month, though, because it's actually kind of compelling--I find it fun, even when I'm not speedrunning a final paper. "Wave" is just a really sweet song already, and I think this remix adds a variety of sounds that make it not just pleasant, but also super captivating.

12. Lookalike -- Conan Gray

No comment...

13. Set Me Free (Lindgren Remix) -- Twice

Re: trashy club remixes for finals. This is so trash, I can't even argue that it's worth listening to at any time other than finals season. (The synth riffs in the prechorus are kind of awesome, actually, but the vocals sound like you're listening to them through a tin can telephone.) It was a great hype song while I studied, though.

14. Maybe -- (G)I-DLE

My second-favorite G-IDLE song ever (though I have no idea how I'll make room for "Eyes Roll" and "Revenge" in an updated top ten) is never not welcome on my most-listened list, but I have no idea why this is here. Maybe I left it on repeat while working on a paper? It has the right kind of beat drop to give me the same kick of adrenaline as my trashy club remixes do--though in terms of how much I admire it, "Maybe" is on a whole different level!

15. BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

This is a wildly addictive song. The Gwen Stefani sample is such a good hook, but it's used so sparingly that I'm left hanging on Megan's every word, waiting for it to appear again. The deep bass makes the song feel full, though--by the end, I'm left wanting more without feeling like the listening experience was actually incomplete. My favorite line is definitely the Birkenstocks one; I still smile every time I hear it! I'm so excited for the album :)

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

Lime -- Soojin

With just a few twists on a sweet, summery formula, "Lime" manages to stand out from the pack of cheery dance songs coming out at this time of year. The orchestral intro is so exciting, and the weirdly gritty vocal production (I still have no idea why anyone would consider that on a song like this--this album has some truly baffling production choices amid all the fantastic ones) unexpectedly grew on me. This song does sweet-and-sour so well!!

[Speaking of baffling production choices: "Drop Top" from this same album is a very nice listen, but what the hell is happening in the bridge... It would totally be a five-star song for me if not for that screechy violin (?) note in the dance break. Like. Why. Why would you just repeat the same ear-piercing note. The whole time. Have you considered a riff? Or making it just a TAD BIT quieter? Or just... a lower note? Anyway. Also, the ENTIRE title track, "Mona Lisa", is a baffling production choice. Just. The whole thing.]

Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

Summer Daze -- Soojin

I like "Lime" a lot more than this one, but I can't help but admire "Summer Daze" too! I'm so in love with how it's a pop b-side just feels so authentically indie-rock? Like, "Más Lejos" by Atalhos was one of my favorite songs of the summer last year, and that's an actual indie-rock song--and it feels like everyone who had a hand in "Summer Daze" understood exactly why people enjoy that type of song & decided to write a love letter to the genre. This track would fit right in with anyone's wistful k-indie playlist!

Entre todas lo arreglamos (album) -- Repion

Yeah, fuck it--I added Repion to the stanlist this month! After this EP, how could I not? The pre-release "El día no me da" had my heart already--it was so similar to their last album, though, that I found it a tad bit boring. But as an opener for a song like "Viernes", "El día no me da" reaches its full potential; it functions so perfectly that my qualms completely disappear. "El día no me da" builds up the energy to this delightful high, and then "Viernes" is the rollercoaster ride back down, full of twists and turns--I love the experimentation with rhythm, which continues in "Qué hay de ti?". It adds such a nice edge to the album; even though this release retains the things that drew me to Repion in the first place--strong vocals and incessant energy--it feels anything but boilerplate. This EP has only one flaw, and it's the kazoo-sounding thing that shows up in "Vienen de pasárselo bien". Maybe it's a perfectly lovely instrument in other contexts, but I think it just sounds silly here, and I really would rather just appreciate their (always delightful) harmonies in peace. Those harmonies do save the song for me, though! To be fair, this album only has four songs--putting it in the albums category is kind of a stretch--but these four songs are packed with enough interesting ideas to make this the fullest EP I've heard in forever. (Plus, Repion gets extra-credit points for releasing my album of the year--a full-length one, too--last year.) I'm not sure if this EP will turn out to be a smaller part of an upcoming album, but I really hope so--I love this sound for them!

[photogirl894]

@clonexreaderbingo

Square: Kix

It's been a bit since I've posted a bingo one shot; I had a slight block with this one, but now it is complete! Shoutout to @l-lend for helping me with the idea 😊 Love you, bestie!!

"Kix, you've got to take a break. You're gonna work yourself to death."

Your best friend, Kix, who was a medic of the 501st, had been dealing with so many patients in the past couple weeks. You weren't even sure when was the last time he'd slept. He'd been practically living at the Coruscant med bay and you had barely seen him pretty much until now. He'd only gotten back to the apartment you two shared to pick up some more medical supplies. 

"I can't, I've got too many patients," he told you. 

"You know there are other medics in the GAR that can take care of things for you," you told him. 

"I'll be fine. I have to help my brothers," he replied, digging through a case of vials. 

You put a hand over his to stop him from grabbing more vials. "Kix! You're not the sole medic of the entire Clone army!" you scolded him. Being closer to him, you could now see the dark rings under his eyes. "When was the last time you even got any sleep?"

He sighed. "I don't know…but I'm fine."

"Kix…!" you groaned, irritated. 

He collected all the supplies he'd gotten into his pack and called over his shoulder, already halfway to the door, "I'll be back later!"

You groaned aloud again. You were getting worried about him. If he kept this up, he was either going to get himself sick or worse, but he was a stubborn one. When he set his mind to something, he stuck with it. Some days, you loved that about him; other days, like this one, it infuriated you to no end. It didn't help that you secretly held deeper feelings for your best friend, not wanting to potentially ruin your friendship, so when you worried about him, it only doubled because of that. 

"Medics are the worst…," you mumbled to yourself. You yourself were a technician who'd been hired by the Grand Army and by now, it was time for you to go to work. You had an appointment to make, so you got your datapad and other tools needed and left the apartment.

Over an hour passed and, just as you were finishing up with your work for a client, your commlink chirped, followed by a voice you knew, saying, "(Y/N), it's Captain Rex. You need to get to the med bay. Kix has collapsed."

Kix's body ached, his head throbbed, his throat was on fire, he felt hot and cold at the same time and he had shivers. His eyes heavily fluttered open and he realized the ceiling didn't match the med bay's. It looked like…the ceiling of your apartment. How did he end up here? The last thing he remembered was getting a med patch for another injured Clone and then things got fuzzy. Why was he back here and not with his patients?

He attempted to move and his whole body and head twinged in pain. A moan escaped his mouth as he tried to push himself up, noticing his armor was gone and he was only in his black undersuit. 

"Oh no, you don't. You are not getting out of that bed."

Your voice sounded from a few feet away and, with another groan, he turned his head to see you coming towards him with a steaming bowl in your hands. The look on your face was a mix of relief and immense irritation. He recognized your surroundings and realized that he was indeed in your apartment somehow. 

"How did I get here?" Kix asked you as he forced himself to sit up and put a hand up to his head. 

"We had to bring you here on a stretcher. It wasn't easy, but luckily, Rex and Jesse helped me," you told him. 

Kix sighed, trying to push aside the aching throughout his body. "What are you talking about?" Then he let out a startled yelp as you pulled out a pain relief stim from your pocket and injected it into his neck without warning. 

"You collapsed in the med bay, you idiot!" you exclaimed as you put the stim down and sat on the edge of bed, carefully handling the hot bowl you had in your other hand. "I got a comm from Rex telling me to come get you because you had passed out. I told you that you've been working too hard and look at what happened."

Kix rubbed at his neck where you had just injected him and said while shivering, "I'm sh--sure it was j--just coincidence. If I…get back up and moving, I'll be f--fine."

"You're really still going to argue with me about this?" you asked back. 

By this point, he was attempting to move his legs to the edge of bed while still moaning from aches. "I h--have patients to attend to. They n--need me," he said, almost slurring his words as he got over the side of the bed and stood up shakily. 

You spoke up, "What about me, Kix? Don't you think I need you?" When he looked back at you through heavy eyes, you said to him, "I need my best friend and if you keep this up, he's going to slowly disappear. I've been charged by Captain Rex to take care of you and keep you here until you've regained your health."

His lips curled down, unamused. "Are you...s--serious?"

"Yes. So get back in this bed and eat this soup. That's an order."

"You can't…give me orders."

"I can when I've been ordered by your Captain to look after you. Now get back in bed right now before I have to sedate you."

The firmness and authority in your voice right then was strangely intimidating to Kix. It was almost scary. He knew you could be tough when you wanted to be, but you'd never gotten this way with him. He was going to respond, but he could feel his legs shaking and his body was weak. He lost his balance, but you stopped him. You moved quicker than he'd ever seen you; putting the bowl down on a table at the end of the bed and jumping up to catch him around his waist.

"You medics really are the worst patients," you commented to him as you pulled him back and helped lower him back onto the bed.

As you turned him, got his legs under the covers and sat him up against the wall, he said back tiredly, "You technicians are the worst doctors."

Picking up the bowl and scooping some soup into the spoon, you replied, "Yet I'm the one doing a better job at taking care of you. Now, shut up and eat." 

You held the spoon up to his lips and he reluctantly opened it, letting you feed the hot soup you'd made into his mouth. It was savory and tasty and the heat helped the soreness in his throat. You had figured Kix would resist staying here, but he was really giving you a run for your money. Luckily, once the first bite of soup went down, you could see him physically start to relax against the wall and sink just slightly into the bed. It seemed like he was now allowing himself to relax. You got another spoonful of soup ready, held it up and fed it to him. 

After a couple more bites, Kix said your name in a weak voice that made your heart swell with pity for him. You looked up and found him looking at you with exhausted eyes and a tired smile. 

"Thank you…," he said through an exhale. 

You smiled back. "Of course, Kix."

His head began to fall forward and you could tell he was going to succumb to sleep at any second. You urged him to lay down flat on his back and pulled the covers up all the way to help keep him warm. Almost immediately, he was out. As he lightly started snoring, you ran your hand over his buzzed, tattooed head.

"You idiot," you said affectionately before softly kissing his forehead.

Fortunately for you, you didn't have anymore clients for work for the rest of the day or the next day either, so you were able to just stay home and be there for Kix, if he needed you. Though, you could tell that the Clone was incredibly sleep-deprived because it wasn't until the afternoon the next day that Kix woke up. His rest had been a bit fitful from time to time from aches and chills, but you had given him medicine and helped lull him back to sleep each time. 

When he awoke, he took a moment to assess his situation. It appeared his fever had broken and he no longer had chills. There were still slight aches in his muscles and he still felt a bit weak, but it was already a vast improvement. He slowly sat up, grunting loudly enough for you to hear him waking up in the other room.

A few seconds later, you walked into the room and quietly greeted him. When he looked up at you, you had a sweet smile on your beautiful face that made him feel warmer than any of your homemade soup ever did, which only prompted him to smile back. In your hands, you held a cup of steaming tea and you brought it over to him. 

"How are you feeling?" you asked him as he took the cup. 

He heaved a heavy sigh. "I'm still a bit weak and will need more time to properly recover, but all things considered…I feel much better. Especially with you here."

You grinned timidly. "You definitely seem better," you commented. 

He took a sip of the tea and then asked, "How long was I out?"

Your eyebrows shot up and you answered, emphasizing each word, "Twenty. Whole. Hours, Kix."

His eyes widened and he nearly spit out the second sip of tea he'd taken. "What?"

Nodding, you said, "Yeah…you haven't slept in days, so I'd say you needed every second of that very long rest."

Kix looked down into the dark tea, catching a glimpse of his tired reflection. "I really have been bad about taking care of myself lately, haven't I?"

"You're dedicated to your work and to helping others and I admire that about you," you said, laying your hand on his shoulder, "but sometimes, you get too caught up in what you do. You try to take on the entire workload of the whole Grand Army all on your own, it seems, sometimes. It's okay to take a step back when you're feeling overworked and take a break."

He sighed, closed his eyes and nodded. "I know you're right. I just hate feeling like I'm letting my brothers down if I do."

Your hand came up to his cheek and you gently urged him to look at you. "You know none of the Clones would ever think that of you," you assured him, your thumb rubbing his cheek. "Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. Taking care of yourself makes it so you can still continue helping others, which is what you're best at." Then you worked up what courage you had and placed a kiss on his other cheek. 

At the contact of your lips on his skin, Kix froze up slightly in surprise and turned to meet your eyes when you pulled back, reaching up and grasping your hand on his cheek. Something about the look he could see in your eyes was stirring up a wave of emotions within him that he hadn't felt before. 

"I don't know if I'm still delirious from being sick or not…and you don't have to say 'yes', but…can I kiss you?" he asked of you. 

For a moment, you wondered if you were now getting sick because there was no way you'd heard him right…but the way he was looking at you and the fact you could feel him ever so slowly leaning towards you told you otherwise. 

In a shaky whisper, you replied, "Kix…I've never wanted to say 'yes' to you more than I do right now."

Kix's eyes went wide a little, shocked at how quickly and how positively you responded to him. Then, with a relieved smile, he closed the distance and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to your lips. You felt a small shiver go up your spine, hardly believing this was actually happening. 

When he pulled back, he said hesitantly, "I know you're not supposed to kiss anyone when you're sick…but I couldn't help myself."

"I don't care," you said back. "I've…actually wanted to kiss you for a while. I was afraid to because you're my best friend and I was worried it would ruin our friendship."

"Honestly…I had thought the same thing," he admitted. 

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, really."

You smiled again with giddiness and nuzzled his nose. "We're both pretty hopeless, I guess. Now, keep drinking that tea, soldier."

He looked down at the tea and then back at you. "I don't know. I think that kiss helped cure me and I feel a lot better."

"Mmm nice try," you said, smirking knowingly. 

"Ah, really thought I was gonna get away with that," he said with fake disappointment.

"It's like I said: medics really are the worst patients," you responded. 

He grinned back. "Well, I have to be in order to get someone like you to take care of me."

Even though you couldn't deny the butterflies you got in your stomach at his statement, you just smiled at him and replied, "Flattery is only going to get you so far with me." Then you kissed him again before ordering him, "Drink your tea and I'll get some more medicine for you."

"Yes, ma'am."

Clone x Reader Bingo 2023

[clonerightsagenda]

HDM Season 3 continued!

Episode 3:

Pan sleeping against Will's leg. I saw that.

Asriel and Mrs. Coulter are a couple that truly matches each other's freak (child murder) (derogatory). He was really like hey babe now that we're back together let's torture a prisoner of war.

"You look different." "So do you." Yeah you both grew several inches and she has a chest now. Puberty comes at you fast when you have to wait a while between shooting seasons.

More show-original squabbles to drag decision making out longer for some reason

The show is emphasizing Asriel sucking a lot more. Which I appreciate because he does kind of suck. Mrs. Coulter on the other hand is practically a tritagonist (evil/complicated)

They've switched Serafina saving an arrow to kill Mrs. Coulter to Ruta being hostile toward her. I don't love how I feel like they're skating on the edge of the angry Black woman trope with her.

"It's not about your beliefs. They believe, and they will act on it." Folding this into my conviction that Lyra is only the prophecy child capable of moving a multiverse of Dust because everyone is obsessed with her.

The forging scene was kind of half assed compared to the book. Where is the masterful forge Iorek built out of scraps because he's such a great blacksmith? You could not get the metal hot enough on an open air campfire like that.

Lyra: An angel? I'm gonna poke it.

TV!Balthamos is a lot chiller.

"Perhaps I never needed a knife in the first place." You're on the right track. But you also don't need high tech angel torture devices. You just need a big hole.

Shame they didn't do the bit re: the land of the dead where they cut into a world, then cut again, and end up in a reflection of that world with a former corpse now a ghost. I thought that was cool.

Episode 4:

God, you die and go to the afterlife and the prison guard for the dead is still a British guy. This is like Tell No Tales' load bearing British guy of death.

Everyone's reaction when Mrs. Coulter re-enters the plot is some variation of "are you fucking kidding me"

Mrs. Coulter continues to somehow seduce her way through the Magisterium. Is Mrs. Coulter a masterfully or misogynistically written female character for femme fatale-ing her way through various male authority figures and then losing her shit over her child: famous forum thread closed after 8000 pages of debate.

It's only now occurring to me that Asriel built a craft that can only be piloted by people from his world. It wasn't as important in the books, but in here where the craft can cut through dimensions, it looks more like keeping certain abilities tightly under wraps.

We're finally getting to Mary's lifechanging safari. About time.

It's also now occurring to me that it might've been nice for them to cut the living people stuck in the afterlife waiting room out. Most of them got there accidentally.

No Tialys/Salmakia with the kids in Death. Guess they wanted to focus on Will and Lyra, but it's a shame that we don't get Lyra pissing off Tialys on purpose to summon her death vs just wanting it real hard.

I can't remember how the ghosts knew that Lyra was about to get exploded. Maybe the show will elaborate on that.

Where are their fucking rollerskates

Will spent months searching for Lyra?? I guess they added that in to explain how much the kids grew but a) lots of devotion for someone he knew for like a week and b) Lyra should be in way worse shape if she was in a medical coma for months.

It says a lot that Will pulls a knife on the ferryman for Pan's sake given how much he hates having to be the 'violent' one.

They trimmed the ferryman's speech. I get it because it's quite long but still, bummer.

They didn't have Will screaming in agony! That seems unfair given the emphasis on how he's losing the same thing as Lyra. Maybe they decided it was not manly. Also it would be almost impossible to adapt into television but shoutout to the passage where it describes his experience as if he told someone to kill his mother instead of him because he doesn't love her.

[the-daydream-archives]

Behind the Scenes stuff that I made for Simblreen:

So I'm pretty sure I started the Simblreen stuff at the start of September (or was it even earlier than that???) and let's just say that a lot of random stuff went unused. This post is basically a collection of pics and cc that didn't make the cut for the final Simblreen sets. It might be uninteresting to most, so feel free to ignore this post. I just felt like documenting the process and the thought process behind it.

So let's get into the first set that I made, The Crafter's Workshop.

So for its CC, I had a bunch of stuff that I wanted to convert for a long time now from The Base Mesh (If you're starting out and learning to convert, I highly recommend using their meshes), however, I had difficulty choosing which ones to convert into a mouth accessory and that's when I decided I needed an overarching theme for each set. A lot of the stuff that I decided to convert for this set was more for story-telling Simblrs than anything since I wanted it to be useful for Handy Sims and Artsy Sims.

On another note, for this set, there were 2 rejected pieces of CC that didn't make the cut. The first was a lightbulb mouth accessory.

This was one of the oldest WIPs that I have in my WIPs folder. It's dated back to my CrimsonPerfectionist days and to this day, I couldn't get it to work the way I want it to. The first issue was the glass shader... It looked terrible in-game and I have no idea why it looked so odd. Another issue was its emission map. I wanted it to glow like a regular lightbulb but not in a flashy way. I wanted it to have a more of a soft glow similar to Ir7770's halo and wings but I could never seem to figure it out especially since the S4S's tutorial on it was very dated and I had a difficult time understanding it. (Someone please write an updated emission map tutorial please!!!! I really need it! 😭😭😭)

As for the second CC, it was supposed to be A Nails-in-Mouth Accessory. Below is some concept art that I drew so you guys get what I was aiming for. I ended up not making it because one: it was too similar to the Pins one, and second, I wanted to focus this set mainly on conversions instead of making stuff from scratch since I wanted to make sure I had enough time for the other sets to be made.

The photos above were unused and one of them was supposedly going to be the main preview images but I decided against it since both didn't match the vibe that I was looking for. The one that I ended up using was a photo that I took much later which was during The Sweet Cavity Set's creation. While I like the 2 above, I felt that the main preview that I ended up using, matched more with the vibe of the set. (Though I still like these 2 images a lot especially since they were already edited and ready to use.)

Next would be The Fruit Salad, my personal favorite out of all the sets.

The creation for this one mostly went without a hitch. A big shoutout to @merofthefae who asked for a cherry mouth accessory and suggested a couple of more fruit stuff which made the idea for this set come to full fruition Get it??? Heheheheh. There were just a bunch of ideas that I didn't make because I was unsure of the placement of it or the idea only looked good in 2D but not in 3D. The photo below show some of the concepts that went unused.

As for the photos of the previews, it was easy since I knew right from the start which photos I'll end up using. The only thing was that I wish I could have made Cherry (the Fruit Salad Sim model) into a Food Sim since she's just so dang pretty. But to preserve the surprise, I had to refrain from posting her photos before Simblreen.

But Idk, I think I might go ahead and make her into an official food sim since I 'm wayyyy too in love with her despite you guys seeing her already.

Next would be almost everyone's favorite, The Misery Meat.

This set was my own personal headache. The Fruit Salad and The Crafter's Workshop each took about a week to make. The Misery meat however, took 3 PAINFUL WEEKS to make. The first problem was the UV mapping of one particular item.

It was the Isaw.

I mainly made it for my country's representation purposes *cough* I'm Pinoy *cough* and I just learned how to make meshes from curves so I thought it would be a piece of cake. And I was WRONG. SO WRONG. This thing took 3-4 days to make just because of the UV Mapping that I didn't even end up using 😭😭😭 I manually fixed each vertice, hoping it'll look good but the other uv map I made that I did under 10 minutes looked much better than the one I spent 3-4 days on. It was super painful but I wasn't at all done with this set and I realized that I was quickly running out of time.

The main problem for this entire set however, was mainly concepts. It was originally more weirdcore than meatcore at first with Sodikken's style. I wanted to base stuff from their artwork but that didn't end up happening since I couldn't think of concepts that suited the overall theme.

Overall, there were at least 12 concepts for this set that didn't make the cut. I'll only talk about a few of them. The first one would be the Popseecle.

Believe me when I say that this one is the one that makes me the most sad. It looked so nice but because of the glass shaders, it looks terrible in-game and it doesn't look as nice as the concept. I might get back to this one since I love the idea so much but for now into the WIPs folder it stays.

The second one would be the Hands as seen below. I loved this one too but aside from not fitting the theme, somewhere along the way I messed up the UV map which caused the fingers to glitch at their tips. It won't be noticeable in the photo below but in-game it looks really bad since the hands are made of glass.

I'll speedrun these next two. The first one was supposed to be ham, which was similar to the steak but I decided it was too plain. The second was supposed to be ripped skin but when I showed it to a family member, they just told me straight up that it looked like a torn blanket... so I decided to scrap it :D

And below are other concepts that didn't happen.

Also the main preview photo was supposed to be much more "scary" but because you can't really see the mouth accessory because of the lighting, I decided against it.

Also, I decided to tone it down a notch since it feels a bit much.

And lastly, is The Sweet Cavity Set.

I feel bad for this set. It was the most rushed out of all of them and I feel like I could have done the main previews wayy better but since I disliked the color scheme, I ended up rushing it anyway. The name was even changed last minute, it was originally supposed to be called "The Sugar Crash Stash" but it felt too long so I went with Sweet Cavity instead. The only CC concept that I didn't include for this set was the Tube Candy and Rice Crispies.

Not gonna lie, this one was almost done but because I had to edit the texture and mesh to make the texture look better in-game, I basically gave up since I was too exhausted that I quit lol. For the rice crispy, since I'm too tired to draw a visual, just imagine it similar to the chocolate bar except that it's thick. That's pretty much it.

And yeah, basically we're done! Thank you to those who stuck around reading. I hope this was entertaining, reading my thought process for these sets and maybe one day I'll come back to these ideas. But for now, I'm gonna rest from CC making and just lie down on a corner somewhere.

Thank you once more if you made it this far! 💖💖💖

[wewerebornsextuplets]

okay SO. kiru and ichi. this one's very long again (I love to talk. did you know that. i love it) so under the cut we go again 🔥

if we're gonna discuss how they met, i first need to talk about kabosu

kabosu was a rescue from a shelter that kiru was volunteering at one summer, who seemed to be the perfect fit for kiru. and she was! except for one thing...

kabosu is a bit of an escape artist, and was much worse about this early on; breaking screen doors, learning how doorknobs work, she was kind of a menace. normally kiru is about to thwart her plans, and she's generally enriched enough that she doesn't try to escape very often. shes happy! but early on, when kiru was settling back into juggling college and work with her free time again...

so, she was off to the races. and kiru, who is typically very even-tempered and rational, was INCREDIBLY stressed about this, since she's well aware of the problems that stray cats usually face. not to mention everything else she had going on... so she was kind of a mess, and was really panicked when she went looking for kabosu!

luckily for kiru, though, ichi was the one to find her, and decided to keep an eye on her once he noticed kabosu's collar. eventually, they crossed paths, and kiru kind of just started freaking out like "OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR FINDING HER" and crying throwing up etc etc. ichi was just kind of like Erm... okay... (what the fuck)

once kiru calmed down (and effectively baby-proofed the apartment for kabosu) she kind of realized that she:

-probably looked really pathetic

-didn't even offer him a reward for finding kabosu

and was VERY embarrassed with herself, particularly because akatsuka is huge! she might not ever see him again!!! BUT, luckily for her, working at the deli counter means she interacts the deli she works at just so happens to be matsuyo's favorite when it comes to buying meats for any big meals she might be prepping. and sometimes, when she doesn't feel like running errands, she sends one of the boys instead.

so when ichi comes into the store that next week and they recognize one another, she apologizes for acting so crazy and says she wants to repay him for keeping her cat safe. he declines any monetary exchange, because his mind goes to what happens whenever any one of the brothers wins at pachinko/suddenly comes into any extra money, and he doesn't feel like getting his ass beat. so instead she's like "you wanna just go like. get lunch or something? you can pick where idrc" and hes like BET i love free food

at first ichi thinks it'll probably be awkward, and he'll hate being there the whole time, but he wanted to get it over and done with just to keep the balance (shoutouts to season 2). but as the day continues, he finds himself... liking talking to kiru? she leads the conversation (which he appreciates, since he isn't good at that) but doesn't overtake it, and is generally pretty open-minded and understanding of him not being very high-energy. they find that they're able to riff off one another very easily. for once, he doesn't mind meeting someone new! and i think he would feel more at ease being able to talk to a woman without the pressure of trying to impress her in the back of his mind (since kiru is, well. if you didn't know she was a lesbian by now i really don't know what to say.)

kiru ends up giving him her phone number since they hit it off well enough and he doesn't have any socials. it takes him a few weeks to actually call her, since he kept putting it off and getting too nervous. but once he manages to get the ball rolling they become very fast friends! he probably even catsits for her on occasion. kabosu likes him quite a bit

as a last point i imagine he would introduce her to everyone else after a couple of months but up until then would only speak very vaguely of her (her name means "cut/behead" and her surname means "butcher". kind of hard to talk about her!), so everyones concept of her is just incredibly abstract until then. ichi just seems a bit too cagey to talk too openly about his friends like that

BUT YEAH that's it <3 lots of words to explain a meeting that isn't all that complex but i love to ramble 👍

[lincolndjarin]

BKS ✦ notes & bts : chapters 1-5

spoilers for chapter 1-5 of Best Kept Secret!!

✦

a/n :

I feel like this is just SO self indulgent of me but whatever I guess lmao, bks is my brain baby currently and I will take any excuse to talk about it. These posts are going to be long in-depth dives into my writing process, dress inspo, music i was inspired by, etc. of the mentioned chapters so settle in cause this is what i'm doing today lol. also this might be the longest one bc i'm gonna talk about starting and coming up with everything.

starting writing and original outlines :

i've said this so many times lmao but i wrote the ending first. like the ending ending. i work really long hours at a job that has me listening to music for like ten hours a day while i work so i get a lot of thinking time lmao. basically i originally wrote it as a story with no specific characters in mind. I'm a big Pedro fan so i was between characters i thought fit the fic but settled on din because i think he fit the character i was imagining best. (it helps that he's in my top three pedro characters lol) from there laid out a vague outline in my mind of where i wanted to start so i created a set list of characters and basically just dove right in without much to guide me except for an ending point lmao. it wasnt until closer to like chapter 15-16 when i started properly outline each chapter in advance in the document, before that i just wrote vague notes in a notebook that i didn't end up following all that well lmao

music :

i've also said this at one point but the original name of best kept secret was "my keeper and i" i wrote the first three chapters in the same week and spread out the posting but i used the same playlist for most of the early stuff so here's that!!

original bks playlist

inspirations :

if you've seem/read bridgerton then you might know that i took a lot of inspiration from the pattern the show uses and still do.

basically the show has a pattern of the couple getting together and breaking it off or having an issue that's resolved and then there's a new issue. i've sort of been following that sorta kinda

also reader is heavily based on charlotte because i had just finished queen charlotte when i started writing bks

din is more based on anthony bridgerton than george, (anyone unfamiliar with bridgerton, george is the love interest in queen charlotte)

also a lot of din's style of self loathing is based on edwards from twilight LMAO

notes :

here's a random page of misc. notes that i lowkey can't decipher lol

here are my chapter four notes! shoutout to when i didn't realize it was sarad'ika and it was originally ika sarad lmaooo

there's some unused dialogue here, specifically there was going to be a longer conversation about how he wanted to get her out of the castle more often as well as a scene where she was going to eat fruit ands it was gonna drip down her front and he was gonna wipe it off. it was gonna be a whole thing lmao but it didn't really fit the rest of the chapters vibe.

so.... originally there was a timeline issue where the first lunar interlude (i'm a huge taz balance fan and that's where i got the name lunar interlude from lmaoooo, i have 2 taz tattoos) was going to be chapter 4 and then it was going to be chapter 6 and then it made the most sense to make it 5, so any timeline notes here are wrong.

in my original concept for the fic, every chapter was going to end with a small portion of din pov, but it didn't flow well and i really didn't like it so it ended up being easier having it be specific chapters.

when writing the first lunar interlude i went through and read the previous chapters and wrote down how i thought he was feeling during each scene which is what these notes are ^

dresses :

here's a collection of the dresses i used as inspo for chapters 1-5 (these were posted on my old account but i'm gonna put them here as well!!)

chapter one :

the wedding dress was based on this dress!!

and this is the sort of jewelry i was picturing but this stuff is still pretty, i couldn't find anything as ugly as what i was picturing for her wedding jewelry.

this is the sort of stuff i pictured for her blue dresses she hates but honestly all of these are pretty as well LMAO. in all honesty i think that the blue dresses she doesn't like wearing are probably pretty i think she mostly just hates what they stand for and also they put her in gaudy makeup and jewelry as well which doesn't help

chapter two :

used all sorts of dresses as inspo for this chapter! here are these!

chapter three :

sort of a combination of these for the chapter three dress, if that makes sense lmao

chapter four :

something along these lines for the garden dress!!

that's all for these chapters!! I'll probably do 6-15 for the next one since there won't be as many notes for those and then go back to five each for the rest!! i have to do some practice makeup for the concert i'm going to this week so the next one of these will be up either tonight or tomorrow!!

[satindupe]

heyyyyyy ( with the intention of getting you to plot with me ) this is a second muse so i hope you're interested in meeting miss yang taeri, because she likes to be everywhere at the same time! her profile is up here and anomaly here, below i'll give her background and some ideas for plots. please like this post and i'll come to you, or let me know if you prefer discord b/c i sure do!

yang taeri, 23, textile & fashion design major with self replication

ok now that that's out the way, she was bork in new york city, usa! went by the english name madison. her family did well for themselves because her dad was an it manager, but her mother was an anomaly with psychic powers and fully leaned into the occult. well known within the city and charged people for readings and what not. a controversial figure due to it, but people kept coming to her in an attempt to deal with lifes uncertainties.

not only to mention that taeri is the oldest out of 3 and looks nothing like her younger siblings. at all. only vaguely looks like her mom. like come on, as she grows up she knows she's mixed but it's not something that her parents bother talking about, with her or even each other, just settles as the constant elephant in the room. eventually she learns to stop asking.

but! taeri is cute and charming and not at all odd like her mother and so people just learn to ignore that part. she still gets invited to things and does well in school because she doesn't talk about her mom and people just know that she's not going to be like her.

but mom is right a lot of the times. like how she told her that she was an anomaly too but didn't specify more than that. she's seven in a martial arts class ( shoutout to dad ) when she gets kicked and an identical clone also gets thrown out of her. that's the first time that it happened in public, however. a couple of year before that she talked about having an imaginary friend, as most do, and thought that the replicas that she just ... pulled out of herself was imaginary. turns out they weren't.

anywho i'd like to believe that new york is more liberal-ish when it comes to anomalies so despite that, it doesn't effect her reputation too much. at least not yet.

fast forward to high school and she's class president, golden girl, sweetheart. the resentment has grown with her mother as she refuses to fit in and loves to put on a show, but she also uses her powers to help taeri excel too. she doesn't understand why her mom is still so kind to her even when she doesn't admit her existence outside of the house. it's a love hate thing that she can't exactly explain. her younger sister is a couple of years younger and they go to the same school, and has taken on her mothers ways. she overhears a cheerleader call her a 'fucking occultist' and she just. kind of sees red. she's pushing two other clones of herself and beats the girl's ass LOL, completely unexpected coming from her. it takes a couple of dudes from the football team to get them off of her too.

it also doesn't help that same week her mother sits her down and tells her the truth ⏤ that she's the product of a heated love affair between herself and a different man that left the country once she told him he was pregnant. or at least, she thought that was the case until he started writing you recently, showing a letter that's addressed to her. then it clicks why no one ever discussed anything with you.

lots of conflicting feelings as it turns out this is a man is a foreign diplomat currently in south korea. apologizes for what he's done and would like to get to know her. she tells her mother she isn't going, mother states that she'll end up there sooner than she thinks. it makes sense when taeri attempts to make up with the cheerleader and thankfully charges aren't pressed, but taeri does end up expelled and her reputation tanks. so, y'know, maybe a change of pace in korea isn't so bad after all.

she ends up moving to finish up her last two years of high school and realizes that this dude has moneyyyyy! upper class lifestyle, and a younger baby brother with his korean wife. adjusting to life in korea was hard as hell, especially because anomalies were looked down upon much more than in america. her actual father gives her a nullivi patch as he doesn't want to deal with her powers, and she's not fond of it but keeps her head down and plays along until she gets to sua. spends time w her dad on the weekends, he likes to have breakfast and he's very open to answering whatever questions she has.

which brings us to present day! she's a fashion major because it's the one true thing that she has a passion for, and eventually would like to work at a fashion house or start her own little boutique.

uses the patch for classes only / when told to, but otherwise you may catch her around multiple places around campus at once. she wants to know everything!

joined curious currents because she's nosy as hell and can't put her fucking camera down, and considering she's minoring in marketing it made sense for her to be the social media manager. very bubbly with them but not in your face.

and in terms of plots here's some i can think of off the top of my head:

childhood friends? anyone from new york? probably somewhat of a long shot but could be nice

roommates! red hall girlies! very much the type to try to do things w the other girls in the communal areas and loves the ~sisterhood~ and what not

i need her to have a fat ass crush on someone. very much dreamy sighs and doodling their name on class notes, liking all social media posts. can absolutely be one sided or not!

a bad influence! someone who thinks she's too much of a goodie two shoes and she would like to prove them wrong

you keep running into her and think that it's simply coincidence when in reality! it's not, she keeps sending her clones in your direction to get information / tea from you. are you weirded out? find it annoying? sorry, there's something about you that interests her ( or she finds you sus ) and she's just trying to help out the newspaper, y'know?

she likes to think that she's your guardian angel, watching over you and helping you when needed

cousins? maybe from her ( actual ) father's wife side ( so by marriage ) who had no idea that she existed until now

people who think she's fake! that she's putting on an act for attention

party friends because you know that she's always at all the events and needs someone to enjoy them with

sexual tension? a will they won't they situation of sorts?

and the usual stuff of friends, exes, and everything in between! really i'm down for anything ~

[fallingforfandoms]

Tag someone you want to know and/or some of your besties

@except4bunnies tagged me for my take on this lovely list, thanks so much!

favorite color: I don't have a specific one in mind, but I'm rather fond of black, green and red at the moment.

last song: "About Damn Time" by Lizzo because I'm still somehow now tired of it, even though I basically listened to the instrumental version for the past few days on repeat for ... fandom purposes ;)

last movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark - the first Indiana Jones film that I originally bought as a birthday present for my dad a couple days ago but came to love again for my very own reasons by the end of the first rewatch.

currently watching: Well, there are a few Tatort episodes left on my list, and a friend recommended "The World To Come" on Netflix which seemed quite promising at first glance, so, yay, looking forward to that!

other stuff I watched this year: Jumped on the Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon hypetrain very late (and for fic inspiration purposes at first) and loved it (apart from the infamous butchering of s7/8 of course). Also, still very much in love with "Daisy Jones and the Six". Go and watch that. The characters are awesome. The music is even better. And the enemies to lovers to enemies vibes are just ... yes. Yes, please.

shows I dropped this year: Started with the new season of Heartstopper and got punched in the feels for "you didn't have that kind of social bliss at school and the comparison hurts way too much" reasons. So, thanks, but no thanks, this kinda make-belief world ain't for me anymore, but y'all have fun with it :')

currently reading: Academic stuff that takes way too long to comprehend and that makes me feel guilty for even staring at some normal novel because I should be using my time more wisely, etc etc etc.

currently listening to: That's probably hella weird, but I love the concept of apps that read texts to you out loud. It's a great way to fall asleep to your favourite fanfics, or to find typos in the stories you've written yourself because the automated voice pronounces these words as oddly as they should be, given the faulty spelling. Highly recommending @Voice for that (I think @mistofstars mentioned the app once as well, at least that's how I know of it).

currently working on: countless WiPs that involve Wilhelmine Klemm and ... varying women, also the same old Ludwigshafen stories that will probably follow me into my grave. And lastly ... a best-of edit starring some of my all time favourite comfort characters. That one will probably be finished by January (exact date tba) and be way too long to be posted anywhere, but I'll just label this as self-care then :'D

current obsession/s: Fell in love with Bremen and Hamburg and Münster (the actual cities this time) throughout the last few weeks. And I had so many lovely little moments with random strangers on that trip (shoutout to the lady in the St. Pauli-Fanshop with all her Tüddelkram, to the guy I bought my Krabbenbrötchen from, and to Renate, the old lady on her way to Stralsund who chatted to me on the train for an hour and reminded me very much of a lovely OC by @all-my-worlds-a-stage that I still hold very close to my heart). And I simultaneously loved the fact that I was travelling alone and was completely free to do whatever I wanted. Yes please. Obsessed with these kinds of connections and trips. Want more of them asap. <3

Tagging @all-my-worlds-a-stage @cornchrunchie @mordsfesch @mistofstars @krejong @khalaris and anyone else who wants to join in! :)

[simplyclary]

A Special Shoutout to An Author 😍

I would like to dedicate this post to @all-this-panic-still-no-disco for a few reasons and maybe a fic review...

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Clary and I am a Shadowhunters stan and my current favorite ship/obsession is Thomas Lightwood and Alastair Carstairs. When I was on the hunt for some good fics to read, some beautiful angels on here recommended your fics namely: "In The Dark", "Something Borrowed" and "Don't Say You Love Me". (my review for all of these fics would be indicated in the latter part of this entry)

I gotta say that I have already finished all of them and oh my angel, I rated them all 5/5 stars. They were amazing fics, I love a good AU, a canon-compliant story and you served me just that. I swooned, I cried, I gasped, I laughed, you basically made me feel every emotion possible.

I wanna say that by my standards (which are not very high, to begin with), you can already publish like an actual book because the way you write these fics and the storylines are amazing and top-notch! I adore your writing so much! The chapter end notes are so cute and I thought that I would dedicate this entire post just for you.

Now, onto the fic reviews...

First fic I read was "Something Borrowed". I loved it and the emotions I felt was everything you could think of. I basically devoured the story, I finished it in less than an hour. The writing is amazing! The storyline is great! I would highly recommend!

Second fic I read was "In The Dark". This is, by far, the longest fic that I have ever read in my life and I finished it in a couple of days. This is one of my top 5 fave fics because it was just otherworldly! The dialogue, the teasing, the heartbreak, the angry times, the swooning, the writing, the story, the tension, was perfection! I still could not get over the chapter when Thomas tied Alastair to the bed while teasing him (I was pulling my hair out of laughter!)

Last fic I recently finished was "Don't Say You Love Me". This is another favorite of mine. I clearly love heartbreak (I'm kidding!) but you delivered it in an amazing way! I love the storyline of this and the dialogue everything! The dynamics between the characters was enjoyable.

Clearly, I had an amazing time reading your fics and I have been highlighting some of my fave quotes to revisit in the future because how can I not revisit such amazing dialogue and lines?

I would like to dedicate a little section just to rave about your writing and the dialogues.

Your writing is amazing! I would read an entire book written by you, I promise! I have only read your Thomas and Alastair centric fics but I might check out some of your other works too. I am in awe of how you come up with amazing stories like "In The Dark" which was an AU. Honestly, that storyline is still engraved in my mind to this very day and I finished it last week.

Another point is your dialogue. The banter, the love declarations, I adore them! You are matching the levels of authors like Jessa Hastings (Magnolia Parks series), Christina Lauren (Love and Other Words) and Mia Sheridan (Archer's Voice) when it comes to the declarations of love. Like I literally have a lot of annotations from your fics and some quotes because I want to revisit them every now and again just to feel something.

Lastly, I want to rave about the smut. I'm 23 and I'm new to smutty and spicy content but that didn't stop me from reading and loving every spicy scene in your fics. For me, you are almost in the same level as Sarah J. Maas (ACOTAR series) when it comes to smut because the words in the spicy scenes in your fics, I have only read them in the ACOTAR series.

I could rave about you and your writing all day long if I can. I just wanna say a big thank you for writing these amazing stories. I could reread all your fics with no problem.

Sending you a big hug and lots of love from my heart to yours.

[soldiermom1973]

The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

I’m still setting up the next long fic for Allie & Kaidan’s adventure.  This story is part of it.  It’s a second chapter for something I wrote a couple of years ago for N7 month.  I’m posting a snippet here because it’s a long one - you can read the whole thing on AO3.

HUGE shoutout to @elleweird, @ghostxofxartemis, and @kalliesa​ for the beta reads.  Your concrit & advice was IMMENSELY helpful.  Thank you!!!

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Kaidan and Rahna messaged and vid-chatted daily and saw each other as often as they could.  Rahna's job allowed her more freedom than Kaidan's, so she frequently traveled to him.  At first, Kaidan felt a little guilty for dating again – his heart would ache when he and Rahna held hands or snuggled on the couch; hell, the first time they kissed, he almost called it quits right then and there.

But Allie was dead, so it wasn't like he was cheating on her.  And she would want him to be happy, right?  It was nice being a part of something special again, to have someone to talk to at the end of a rough day, someone to share things with, and the guilt stopped when he realized that yes, Allie would want him to move on and be happy again.

The months went by and things got more serious.  Kaidan hadn't used the L-word and they hadn't slept together yet.  Sometimes he got the feeling Rahna was more serious about things than he was, but she was patient and let Kaidan set the pace.  She assured him she was ok with things how they were, that grief wasn't a straight line, and that she was willing to wait until he was ready to take things to the next level.

He appreciated her patience and often told her so.  It was strange, really, that he wasn't willing to jump right in with both feet.  It wasn't too long ago that he was the one suggesting immediate co-habitation.  He remembered the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of waking up with Allie in his arms every morning and tucking her against him every night as they fell asleep and sometimes wondered why he didn't have the same reaction with Rahna.  He truly enjoyed her company and cared about her, but there was just something holding him back.  Something he couldn't put his finger on.

Then Horizon happened.  When Kaidan confronted Allie, feelings he thought he'd dealt with and buried were forced to the surface.  Anger and hurt at her silence barely overshadowed the fact he was still in love with her and that opened a whole 'nother can of worms regarding Rahna.

Kaidan messaged Rahna that night – she didn't know where he was, only that he was investigating the missing colonists – and told her he'd be offline for a bit and not to worry.  He knew he'd be on Horizon for at least the next week, gathering witness and survivor statements, coordinating with Alliance personnel, and working on his report.  He spent his downtime in an empty field, beer in hand, staring at the sky, trying to figure things out.

He replayed his conversation with Allie over and over in his head.  Was he too harsh? Perhaps.  Now that he'd calmed down some and was thinking with a clearer head, maybe he should have been more open-minded to what she had to say.  But the fact remained she wasn't dead and didn't reach out to him.  On top of that, she was working with Cerberus.  That alone was almost inexcusable.  Still, he felt guilty for how he reacted to her; watching her eyes well up with tears almost broke his heart at the time and now he felt like he owed her an apology.  He also wanted to sit down with her and talk, to see if they could clear the air.  He knew he still loved her and judging from the look on her face when they spoke and again as she was leaving, she still loved him, too.

So where did that leave Rahna?  Even though she hadn't said it yet, Kaidan knew she was in love with him.  His feelings for her weren't on that level, not yet anyway, and now that Allie was alive they might not ever get there.  He thought about how they reconnected in Chicago all those months ago.  After BAaT, he confided in his mother about his feelings for Rahna and how she shut him out.  His mom gave him the 'If you love someone, let them go' speech.  At the time, her words were cliche but in retrospect, maybe there was some meaning to them.  Back then, Kaidan didn't seek Rahna out knowing he'd scared and hurt her.  Fast forward a few decades and they managed to find each other again and were seeing where things went.  He'd have been lying if he said he never wondered where the two of them would be now if they hadn't separated back then.

He thought about all the times she hinted about the two of them moving in together, subtle mentions of shared expenses allowing for more saved money, less travel to see each other, and more time spent together. Something always held him back, though.  With Allie, they'd practically been co-habitating since the day the met, but that happened when you spent time together in the confined spaces of a starship.  After Saren was defeated, all of their downtime was spent together in her apartment on Intai'sei.  He knew ahead of time that she abhorred wet towels left on the bathroom floor and always made sure to cap her toothpaste.  Little things that he agreed with that they got to know about each other while they served on the SR-1.  It wasn't like that with Rahna and he wasn't sure he wanted to move in with her to find out just how compatible they were.

But those words about letting someone go applied to Allie, too, right?  She died, he let her go, but she came back.  Were the wherefores and whatnots really important?  Maybe not, but the fact she was with Cerberus made him hesitate to want to pick back up where they left off.  Hell, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to even talk to her.  Even so, there was no denying he was still hopelessly in love with Allie.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. Most of these shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

Besties, I screamed!!! We were blessed with episodes 9-12 of this fantastic second season this week, and we finally reached the moment we've been building toward for so long. I AM SO PROUD OF KASUGA AND NOMOTO. Amazing job using your words, ladies. And I loved the way they tied Kasuga's family plot in here, with her need to move giving her the motivation to finally tell Nomoto what she wants. Nomoto was ready for it, too, and already planning to confess on her own (still not over that adorable screamsqueal she let out after inviting Kasuga for Valentines dinner). I can't wait for them to buy a big house, invite Nagumo and Yako to live with them, and start their very own lesbian commune where every meal is amazing.

Chaser Game W

I did some investigating this week because the way these characters are written was just not making sense to me. And as it happens, not only is this show about women written by a male screenwriter, it was adapted from a het manga! Itsuki's character was originally a heterosexual man. Let me tell ya, this made a lot click into place for me. Trust a male writer to take a het romance about power dynamics, gender swap one of the characters to make it a gl, and fail to adjust the characterizations and plot for the completely different power dynamics and communication styles that would entail. It doesn’t explain all the issues with the writing, but it sure does explain a lot about the puzzling lack of feelings processing and communication between these two women. Despite that messiness, I will finish watching this one to support the ratings so we get more gls soon.

My Strawberry Film

What we got here is a love chain of pain. Chika loves Ryo, but Ryo loves Hikaru, and Hikaru is fixated on Minami. Everyone is pining and there is no way for everyone to get what they want. A classic high school angst set up, though admittedly not my favorite kind of story. I will continue to hope that Chika experiences an awakening and we end up with both a bl and a gl pair in this show. I did not expect them to find Minami that easily (or that she would be their peer), so I'm curious to see where they take the plot for this one.

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Last week I said I was wary of them bringing Mizuki back into the mix to interfere in the relationship, and as expected I was irritated with the way the show used him in this week's episode. I like where that final conversation between Sakae and Soga ended up, but I didn't care for the way Mizuki was used to interfere. It felt like a retread of the last couple weeks, didn't accomplish anything new for those relationships, and just made Sakae seem kind of weak willed and immature. Sakae was not feeling confident about Soga's feelings because he had not communicated clearly, but every time Soga tried to talk to him, Sakae just stood there and let Mizuki get in the way. I would have liked to see him draw a firmer boundary with Mizuki and talk to Soga like an adult, but instead he was wavering through most of the episode and not giving Soga the chance to explain things. It was an annoying dynamic and I hope it's actually over. But of course, Mizuki hasn't left yet and the episode didn't allow us more than a brief happy moment before flashing forward to a breakup, so we're clearly in for more seesaw shenanigans before this ends.

Perfect Propose

I love this show, y'all. I already posted a little love note to this episode, which I thought was so smart and authentic in the way it depicted Hiro's ongoing struggles with work, his burnout, and his fear about moving on (also shoutout to this post from @befuddledcinnamonroll for a great overview on why the storytelling choices are so effective). And for an episode where Hiro and Kai shared only a couple scenes, it got a surprising amount of relationship development done, as Hiro became more aware of his growing feelings for Kai and Kai made his intentions and his boundaries clear. I love that he put the ball firmly in Hiro's court to decide what he wants and ask for it, and I am so looking forward to seeing Hiro run next week. If only I could get another six episodes, everything here would be perfect.

Ossan's Love Returns

I'll be honest, this show has been kinda wobbly for me in the back half. It feels like they put too many balls in the air and are not quite sure how to land them all. For one, I am just not nearly as invested in this Izumi/Kiku loveline as the show clearly wants me to be--I've been shipping Kiku x Moving On the whole time and was hopeful we may be finally getting there, but it just keeps coming back around. Takegawa's story seems to have gotten lost somewhere along the way, and I was so confused by some of the storytelling choices re: Kurosawa's plot this week that I had to convene @twig-tea and @my-rose-tinted-glasses, and our collective brain power still couldn't quite piece together the show's intent. I loved the first stretch of the episode with the whole squad assembling to puzzle through what they know about Chief's health woes and support him, but then they lost me with that goodbye video sequence immediately followed by a one month later psyche! moment. If they are not killing Kurosawa off (which I don't think they are) the very overwrought final scenes with him, Haruta, and Maki hit pretty weird. Having now seen the end scene that undercuts it all, it could be that it was meant to feel like comedic melodrama, but in the absence of any solid reassurance to the audience that the health threat was not real, that did not really land. All that said, I still love all of these characters and it's been a real delight to see Haruta and Maki settle into their married life, so I'm still very happy to be watching and looking forward to how they wrap up.

[vvelegrin]

i don't know, i feel like lately i've been getting better at... doing things that are difficult? not to sound like a toddler, but it's so fucking hard to get myself to do things, even if i desperately want to do them, and like yeah i know that's Executive Dysfunction, it's just very hard for me to wrap my head around. putting under a readmore because i'm just shooting my mouth in multi-paragraph format.

i have lately been able to brute force Activities with much more success. stimulant is a help, not so much in terms of direct cognitive functioning as much as indirectly by making me less devastatingly tired at all times. i still have little control over the direction of my focus and get stuck doing things a lot, both enjoyable things and unenjoyable things. and things that were enjoyable and then they eventually become unenjoyable and i still can't stop. and et cetera. i jokingly say free will is a sham, because it has always felt on various levels that i have somehow, physically and metaphysically and whatever, not had access to the same level of free will as my peers. shoutout to that person who posted their 'tourette's and free will' thesis online and altered my vocabulary on that front forever lmao.

but like... i've been doing pretty consistent work on some translation, and when i finish this piece i'll submit it and hopefully i'll be able to build my portfolio with a volunteering opportunity with this organization that will post my occasional translations of articles with my name attached. i've been playing chess (not well, I'll say, but i've been studying and practicing). i've finished a couple art pieces (small drawings mostly, except for the camel i whittled over many days and weeks!). been practicing arabic almost every day, and reading on grammar on days that i'm not directly practicing vocab and such. i took a six week intensive stats class during the summer and i worked my ass off and got a B+ (note that i hadn't taken any math class since literally a decade ago). i've stuck this master gardener program class through to the end, and i just need to finish my volunteering hours within the next year (that will absolutely Not be a problem) and i'll be a proper master gardener in my county. i've spent most saturday mornings (early because i am the earliest timezone lmao) this past year since about april, with a couple months' break, playing a logh strategy board game. i moved out and have been handling it.

i think, and i don't want to exaggerate, but like. i have been deeply affected in the past by failure and having to drop out of things or simply not do things because of overwhelm and inability to keep up. i missed out on being definitely cast in a college theater production because of dumb shit on my end. i made it onto an international model united nations team that was going to go to the czech republic and poland to compete, but had to drop. i was going to double major, but couldn't swing it. i took six years to do a bachelor's degree that normally takes people three (four, if they double major), and did a summer language immersion program that i was burnt out so spectacularly by that i was paying for it for YEARS after. i spent all that time literally surviving that i learned approximately no arabic. definitely didn't go to jordan the year after that to study like literally everyone else in my program. all of the volunteer and internship opportunities i could not follow through upon because i simply COULD not, physically or mentally, do them.

i don't know, people are always like 'you've accomplished so much!' which like, yeah, i've definitely accomplished things, i never mean to discount the things i've done! but people have always said so as if it cancels out the devastation of being so close with these other things that i desperately wanted to do and almost did but then didn't because of various internal reasons. and then the feeling, simply out of habit, that, oh, why bother with this thing, you're not going to make it through. there's also a certain patronizing tone that people couch their words with when talking to me about, oh, sweaty, remember that you have your problems. you have SUCH a beautiful brain and i can tell how soooo smart you are as you struggle to communicate with your words. I'll Fucking Kill You With My Hands.

but. anyway. this is the first time i've ever felt like i've come close to actually thriving, despite some troubles with health that are going to come occasionally in inevitable waves, but i got through it. i supported myself financially, and i am living my life on this wretched and beautiful earth.

i changed the goalpost of this from 'doing immediately effortful things' and 'accomplishing goals' but honestly they're in the same enough vein that they occupy the same part of my heart, which is hopefully beginning to fuckin heal after the constant and pervasive disappointment in myself lmao. and some of that is learning to not be disappointed in myself, i guess. things happen, and there are people who have it worse than i've described above, certainly. i've been putting together some grad school apps, so here's to trying again at some shit because i am allowed to and because i probably have the ability to do it.

[deng-yi-deng]

CDramas I watched 2022 edition

I thought this would be my shortest cdrama list ever (+ 1 kdrama) because the year started out so slow, but it picked up dramatically towards the end. Still, this year was more about excellent English language shows (OFMD, WWDITS, Sandman) and dropping dramas when they did not spark joy, which was often.

Surprise shoutout to NRTA for doing one (and only one) thing I agree with - trying to cut down on the overall number of episodes per drama. I do think this is improving overall quality, forcing dramas to tighten up writing and pacing.

I had zero interest in watching this year's hits (Love like the Galaxy or Love Between Fairy and Devil) because of petty personal preferences so here's my 'best of the rest'. Fave of the year goes to Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty, the surprisingly well-done costume-buddy cop-mystery-dramedy that I didn't know I needed. Honorable mention to New Life Begins (adorable) and Side Story of Fox Volant for favorite wuxia.

If you want to read a very thorough review of Strange Tales, check out the top review on my drama list (for once I agree with mdl ?!).

*Indicates that the drama was dropped - not an indication of lack of quality, just that I didn't finish

Luoyang

Bad and Crazy (kdrama)

Sword Snow Stride*

The Wind Blows from Longxi*

Heroes*

A Dream of Splendor*

The Side Story of Fox Volant

Light Chaser Rescue

Strange Tales of the Tang Dynasty

New Life Begins

see below the cut for my insightful complaining biased reviews

Luoyang (风起洛阳 ) (2021) 2.5/5🌶

I finished this in 2022 so it's on the 2022 list :)

Fun fact: WYB's character is not the main character despite the 217,876 gifs you may have seen. I had high hopes for this one as the novel it was adapted from was written by the same author of Longest Day in Chang'an which I liked. TL;DR version: it does not come even close to Chang'an in terms of the level of screenwriting, directing, art direction, or production. Acting is also weaker on average, but some actors weren't given much to work with.

Huang Xuan is very good, as are many of the actors in minor roles (Old Carrot!!) - I may try to check out some of his other dramas, and would LOVE to see him work with LYX but alas probably never gonna happen. (they're both dancers! and can act! and are handsome! haha, that makes me sound so shallow.) WYB looks like a block of wood through the majority of the drama. Even if (like me) you interpret him as being autistic, it doesn't work. Song Yi's character might win for worst writing for a female character ever! Which is really saying something in cdrama world. Literally the most epic fail of the Bechdel test - she can't even mourn her father for a minute before refocusing all her attention on Erlang-bae. The romance - for either couple - was completely unnecessary to the thriller plot. Erlang and Liu Ran are on my NOTP list for sheer gag-inducing pointlessness. Huang Xuan and Song Qian tried to have a little chemistry but the sparks failed to ignite (see plot) and...sorry Victoria, after seeing you in Broker and then this...not impressed.

Sets & costumes were supposedly expensive (though the ghetto/Unwelcome Well set looked as fake as an old Shaw Bros set) I think most of the $ was spent on hiring lots of extras which - good to get people employed but ? Action scenes - well, you may have already read about them. If not, go ahead and do that I won't pile on. Pacing was brisk but the plot holes. Oh lord. The plot holes. Ending has a completely unnecessary twist (of the knife). Like Chang'an it got progressively weaker after the big mid-way shocker and ended not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Bad and Crazy (kdrama) 4/5 🌶

This was one of the more entertaining things I watched this year - actually looked forward to a new ep each week. Good acting, lots of action, satisfying ending. I was a little uncomfortable with how they characterized mental illness, but once I gave up and told myself (10 times before each ep.) that it's just a drama, was able to enjoy it.

*Sword Snow Stride (雪中悍刀行) 2/5 🌶

I wanted to like this SO MUCH. Finally some wuxia! With actors I like! The plot is ok, the characters are fun and interesting. Lots of really good actors, many familiar faces. There was humor! And some original ideas but... it was s o o o o s l o w. I lost interest during each episode (sometimes falling asleep) and had to force myself to watch the next one - there was just no momentum episode to episode. I gave up around ep 20. Fight scenes could've been better, which for wuxia is kinda important ya know? (I won't even comment on the cgi since others have already done that - it's not great). I really can't emphasize enough how much I wanted to like this. It's like all the ingredients were there for an amazingly satisfying dish but it was served lukewarm and watered down? I'm also getting a little tired of Zhang Ruoyun playing an all-knowing smartass.

*The Wind Blows from Longxi (风起陇西) 2/5 🌶

Acting: fine. Music: too loud in spots. Sets/styling: good. I didn't mind the dark palette, it seemed appropriate for 3 Kingdoms spy drama. The problem? I found myself wandering away to get snacks or looking at my phone too often, then having to go back and see if I missed a crucial bit of dialog. There was no momentum, nothing felt like it was at stake - which for a slice of life drama might be ok, but this was a spy/political thriller! Chen Kun and Bai Yu were ok (but just). I've heard the dialog is disconcertingly modern in spots, which is not a problem when you're using eng subs. The big red flag for me was the guy at the end who explains what just happened. Like. No. If you have to do that to your film/drama you have FAILED storytelling 101. I should be able to enjoy the story knowing only the basics of history (which I do) and then you fill in the exciting bits. Dropped this mostly because the ending was spoiled for me around ep 16 by a mutual who reblogged a gifset that gave away the identity of the double agent and had NO TAGS AT ALL much less a 'spoiler' tag. And this was before it wrapped for non-VIPs. Uncool. SO UNCOOL. TAG YOUR POSTS PEOPLE.

*Heroes 说英雄谁是英雄 3.5/5🌶

Another wuxia! Maybe...please...maybe? Pros: Baron Chen doing the most dramatic cape flipping, blood coughing, suffering stoically performance ever. And he wasn't wearing a wig - it was. his. own. hair. Just inject that sh!t directly into my veins. Good pacing, decent acting and characters (at least for the guys). Trope-y but it's the tropes I like, so yay!

Cons: fight scenes were of the comic-book pose/quick-cut type rather than actual fight choreography. Which is what you get when you cast actors and not martial artists so yeah, but man, it really makes me want to just watch some old HK movies. And surprise, surprise: tissue paper thin female characters particularly Wen Rou (and her costumes - ugh just no to the western-style ruffles.)

Though I was eating this with a spoon for the first 24ish episodes, I ended up dropping it (probably not forever) because it turned into a smorgasbord of angst and I wasn't in the mood. So if you are looking for angst with a side of suffering, then that would be a pro, I guess?

*A Dream of Splendor 梦华录 3.5+/5🌶

What? Well written female characters? In a female-centric historical drama? For me? Aw, you shouldn't have - no, actually you should have, and you should do it again!

Dropped this because I had English language shows to watch (hello Sandman) and it sort of lost steam for me - somehow the way it's shot made it a bit more of a slice of life than plot-driven drama? and NGL I was also tired of reading my tv, but I will try to finish someday.

Pros: production, costumes, pacing all pretty good. Aforementioned prettiness. The plot revolves around the women supporting each other, with the romance being sort of second? kind of? which I love, but also the FL & ML have great chemistry.

Cons: both the FL and ML are a little toooo perfect - too pretty, too smart, too accomplished (the ML was the #3 scholar, passing the test when he was young yet also is a master at wushu and swords? ah, ok) but this is a minor quibble since this is a cdrama.

Fun fact: was watching this and Heroes at the same time and Sun Zujun is in both and plays...a rich, hot, sexual predator in both. Um, hope you don't get typecast my dude. (his acting is pretty good so best of luck to him.)

The Side Story of Fox Volant 飞狐外传 4/5 🌶

Yay! More wuxia this year! please let this be the one....

The first few episodes are movie-quality: sets, action, art direction, sound, acting are all fabulous. Towards the middle it settles down into more typical cdrama territory. Based on a Jin Yong novel, it's what you would expect, and I think has been adapted before. Since I haven't read the novel or seen other adaptations I can't compare, so perhaps this wasn't as well received because it diverged from the novel?

Unlike the other wuxia this year, did not suffer from bad writing for the female characters! Full of tropes, but everyone was pretty well written - despite immediately loving Miao Renfeng, I also loved the 'bad guy' (who's character name I always forget, so will be referred to only as Peter Ho - he did a great job of making a bad dude sympathetic.) Qin Junjie was giving me Chen Kun vibes all over the place - I may try to watch Listening Snow Tower just for him.

Not really sure why this didn't do better. I assume because it's yet another Jin Yong adaptation, and the competition (LLTG and CJL) were more appealing to a (female) audience.

Pros: good acting, great actors, solid wuxia story with a strong start and well done (if tragic) finish

Cons: weak middle - pacing and overall quality dipped a lot. like they put the B team on all the middle eps for cinematography, editing and direction

Light Chaser Rescue 追光者 3.5/5 🌶

Finally a Luo Yunxi drama I can watch, though I'll admit if he weren't in it, no way I'd be watching. Though some of the marketing makes it look like a cp drama, it is in fact an ensemble cast, with the focus being on the diverse people that make up volunteer rescue squads. It's very politically safe and tbh was not surprised they chose to air it during the party congress.

Surprisingly for the moralistic/didactic theme, all the couples were really cute and well done, so if you want romance, there is some. The effects and sets were realistic, and everyone's tragic backstory was tragic. You may need tissues for this one if you're a crier. It wasn't without some super cringe moments (spoiler: the little orphan would be doubly scarred for life by their attempts to help him 'heal') but in general was ok.

Wu Qian (Janice Wu) was really good - I'd only seen her in two things when she was much younger, and she really is a mature talented actress. I'll say it - even better than Xixi, who did pretty good but still can improve, especially in shouty scenes where his emotion looks a little forced. (see, see, how I can critique my fave?)

Pros: Luo Yunxi and Wu Qian

Cons: not enough of the cute dog, didactic and moralizing, weak plot that is barely credible half of the time, often felt more like a bunch of 'how to survive x disaster' instructional videos strung together rather than a coherent drama due to choppy editing

Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 4.5/5 唐朝诡事录

Please cdrama gods consider blessing a season 2 of this because it was so much fun! Even though Su Wuming is a disciple of Dectective Di, I think I liked this even more than the Detective Di movies I've seen (!) because as much as I love Su Wuming, the genius detective trope is a little played out for me, and giving him a great foil in Lu Lingfeng made the whole thing more enjoyable.

The writing for and acting of the two leads was so enjoyable to watch. They had great buddy cop chemistry that really elevated the whole drama. Female characters were pretty well written and realized, and some of the villains were downright enjoyable (creepy ghost guy, you looked like you had so much fun!) Production values were fairly high across the board - sets, visuals, costumes, sound, for what could have been a very cheap drama. Everything seems to have been done with care and attention to detail. Though the plots are a little silly sometimes I didn't mind because they were entertaining. Also tw to people like me who are sn*ke phobic - uh there are lots of scenes you will need to skip in the second mystery.

The drama starts at the end (!) which was an interesting way to wrap the whole thing up, but also an odd choice because they ended up basically reusing most of the first ep for the final episode? In between there are several loosely strung together 'supernatural mysteries' that our guys find themselves solving in different places all across the country. Each mystery is only slightly more difficult to solve than your typical Scooby Doo plot, and similarly any supernatural element is soundly debunked by the end.

Pros: writing, acting, chemistry between leads, production values, almost no romance (a pro for me)

Cons: easy 'mysteries', almost no romance (a con for many people it seems)

New Life Begins 卿卿日常 4/5

I hadn't planned on watching this, but I like Bai Jingting ok and needed something to watch after Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty and this looked cute. Spoiler: it is pretty darn cute.

If you're looking for an angsty palace/harem type drama this won't be it. Instead, they use the conceit of 9 vassal states sending a bride for the princes of the Xin kingdom to explore the different ways a society can treat women. It's a very very girl power drama. As such the female characters are pretty well done and acted, but the male characters aren't reduced to being caricatures - all have reasonable personal failings.

Is it realistic, even for a costume drama? I don't care. Sometimes a work of fiction is to show you how things could or should be - in this case the jerks get their comeuppance and the ladies get to succeed. Sure, sometimes the girl power message is a lil' too heavy handed but I'll take it for the overall message and the humor.

Just realized I rated this higher than Dream of Splendor and I should justify myself - Dream of Splendor is overall a better drama, but this was more tightly paced and because it had a larger ensemble there was more going on to keep my interest. That and the fact that this had humor pushed it up a little notch for me.

Pros: cute, mostly light and funny, well paced, decent plot

Cons: I didn't really feel any of the cps (I came closest to shipping Li Wei and Yuan Ying) but YMMV

[lenasai]

before 2022 ends (for me) i'm gonna steal an idea from @thehallstara and do a recap of the stuff i wrote this year, with commentary because i feel like it...and also so it's not like. exactly the same thing lmao

first, go take a look at hir post if you feel so inclined. if you have the time, those twines are all bangers.

list below the cut because this will probably be long when it appears in the tag:

the splorts poetry series as it exists now. the first two sets were from 2021, but i started the series after realizing i was going to post more individual blaseball poems. turns out putting a bunch of poems in one work and waiting for those to be done before you publish them means a lot of stuff just goes unpublished, so i moved toward publishing stuff individually. if you wanna just look at the poems i wrote in 2022, start with lucky number 81 (what if)

the merry exit (un?)memorial dimension traveling club - a fun little exploration of the merry exit from the gamma 1 test circuit and the merry exit from the tutorial game

hold on, you'll live to play again - look i KNOW what's going to be in the second chapter. i just haven't written it yet. every now and then i go "oh no i abandoned the happy story about the kids" and stare wistfully at the pages document hoping the second chapter will just write itself. i will write it eventually. shoutout to the random person who left kudos on the first chapter like 50 years after i wrote it, knowing there's a nonexistent second chapter. anyway. i wrote the first chapter for the first anniversary of longest thursday. it's about the season 20 postseason and the moment we knew everyone (mostly ivy) was going to be safe. it's got more core lore than i expected to write. thank you mechs.

ashes, dust, and other reminders of what once was - for the garages fic exchange, about chorby soul and parker macmillan. HOO BOY this is the one i'm proudest of. if you read only one piece from this post, i hope you will consider making it this one...which is a huge ask because it's nearly 11k words. if i had a nickel for every time i wrote over 10k words of People In The Vault Being Sad About Things i would have two nickels. that's not a lot of nickels, but very funny it happened twice. this is also the first work i've written for another person, and they were an absolute pleasure to write for. anyway. i think chorby soul and parker macmillan should be besties.

what if the light at the end of the tunnel burns me again - for the firefighters fic exchange, about Agan Espinoza's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Season 24. i love them. i curled up into a little ball of shrimp emotions when they fell in the last fall ball with parker macmillan. god damn.

end-of-the-world tour - i wrote 1.5k words about parker macmillan's roam to the (prehistory) crabs and immortals in like two hours. absolutely no proofreading went into it. i wrote it and tossed it into the void after my computer threatened to fuck me over at the deadline. written for the blaseball zine jam.

batting practice - yeah so i procrastinated until the week of the deadline, then got possessed by some kind of writing demon and wrote 5.5k words about wyatt quitter and jasmine mason. not to say it was rushed, but it may have a residual formatting glitch i may have missed when copying from pages into ao3. i went over it many times to try and get rid of those, but if you see a couple of paragraphs fused together, no you didn't. written for the lift fic exchange.

[ms-demeanor]

Lots of baking. But that's like. MAX six months of flour. However this means I can get it all at once in a big heavy duty paper bag instead of a pound at a time in little plastic bags the way they sell g-free flour mix at trader joe's.

(for most people it's pretty simple to go to the grocery store and get 5 or even 10 pounds of flour in one go; you might have a hard time buying just one pound of flour. But I have weird-ass food allergies and can't use most pre-made g-free mixes so I can't get the bigger bags (2-3lbs?) of King Arthur g-free so 25lb Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Baking Flour it is; it's either that or 1lb tj's mix OR 1lb bags of pure rice flour. This option costs 25% less overall than buying little bags and will have less/no plastic waste)

That's actually not even that much flour. A 1lb bag ends up being about 3 cups of flour so that's like, two batches of banana nut muffins or one and a third of a scone recipe. I generally bake *something* once or twice a week depending on what food I've got to use up. Brown bananas? Banana bread. Cooked chicken? Pot pie. Heavy cream? Make scones to have with cream. Canned pears nearing best by date? Tart/crumble. A million avocados? Avocado bread.

I end up cooking at home a lot more than most people I know, and baking more than most people I know, but that's because my options for anything else are really limited and require a lot of pre-planning.

Eating at the Indian restaurant? Gotta cook rice first because they put corn in their rice. Getting sushi/teriyaki? Gotta make my own sauce and call ahead to make sure nothing has sesame or soy sauce. Mediterranean restaurant? Gotta make rice because most places use wheat as part of their pilaf. In-N-Out? Okay let me stop by the house and grab some bread first because protein style fucking sucks and I've got to get my own ketchup because ketchup fucking everywhere has corn syrup in it. Shoutout to Thai food and that one ramen place in town with rice noodles and a soy-sauce-free miso broth I love you.

I literally cried when the Indian place started putting corn in their rice. It means I either have to plan before I go there or I have to be okay with a meal with no bread or rice, which is kind of like being okay with going out for Italian food with no bread or pasta. Sure, I can do it if I have to but I don't want to if I don't have to. It immediately took that from being someplace we went weekly to someplace we've now gone once in the last two months. (Large Bastard wanted to go a couple weeks ago and I didn't have any rice cooked and I was like? I guess I can have onion pakora for dinner? And he was like let's do something else and we did; but then this week I had rice ready so it was a lot easier to just go. Like if I'm going to have to cook rice at home I might as well just cook dinner at home. The Indian restaurant we used to go to that shut down ALSO had corn in their rice but they were next door to a tea shop that had snack bowls and sold rice so it was easier to go there spontaneously)

Anyway yeah food allergies are really really really annoying and I bake a lot.

Hey nobody has asked me about this ADHD money management tip and it depends on having at least a tiny bit of flex in your budget but I'm about to spend a frustrating amount of money on flour and I can only do it because of this tip:

Hide cash from yourself like a squirrel.

Use whatever receptacle you'd like, envelopes or a zipper bag or an old wallet, create labels for the stuff you're saving for, and tuck money in there occasionally.

My stash lives in an old wallet with strips of paper around it. It's got dividers for "car registration," "bulk food," "vet visit," and a couple other things.

These are things that I know happen every year or multiple times a year that take more cash than I can easily spare from a single paycheck. If I stick twenty bucks a month in an old wallet it will mean that even if I have to pay late fees, I don't have to put my car registration on a credit card and pay interest on my late fees. If I stick ten bucks a month in an old wallet I can buy 25lbs of flour twice a year. If I can stick a bit more or less cash as it's available into the wallet I can make sure that my twice-annual regular vet visits with senior dog bloodwork and vaccinations aren't going to be too much of a hit to that month's grocery budget.

Like, everyone talks about "put money in savings once a month" or "have an account you don't touch for emergencies" and that can totally work if you can swing it, but I know it's REALLY hard for me to keep from pulling from the "emergency" fund for stuff that's a minor emergency/or is regular maintenance that I should have planned for/etc.

It's much harder for me to pull from the actual cash sitting in a physical room in my house because A) I'll probably forget it and B) that means that I have to think through using those funds in a lot more of a direct way than I would when using a debit card and C) I literally can't access it when I'm out of the house (the emergency fund HAS to be on the card to be accessible, the "i need expensive groceries" money doesn't have to be ready to go at all times and if it is available I know myself and it'll get used before it's expensive grocery time).

Like. If you know you have an expense that you have to pay for every year, hide cash specifically for that expense instead of in a general "expenses" fund because if you're not great with money and you've got an iffy memory you might look at your expenses fund and go "okay my computer crashed and there's five hundred bucks in the fund I can replace it and get back to work, cool" and there goes your car registration and a vet visit. At least if you need to physically grab that cash for an emergency you can make note of what you're going to have a deficit for later in the year.