#to be feeling SO MUCH that that's tye onlybplace that will do
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Inflicting trauma upon my sweet OCs so I don't have to go through my problems alone-
#cw sh#cw self harm#(just a warning for my tag rambles to come)#my trauma response to my own history of self harm is that i find it VERY endearing in other people#if i can notice your scars i s2g you're instantly my bestie okay#one of my coworkers has the most extensive scars I've ever seen and i swear i feel safer with few people than i fo with her#she's the most incredible person ever amd though i would NEVER EVER ask about her past I'm so SO grateful she fought through it to be where#-she is right now#and just like ooooooh fuck i find scwrs cuuuuute#i genuinely think its a Trauma thing ig like to make my own body Not Disgusting To Me#that i see scars and go ☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#not in a fetishising way#but in a genuine 'holy shit! you went through sonething and survived it?? i love you!!!' kinda way#i only noticed my ex's piercing scar after we broke up tbh and i just KNOW if inoticed it while we were together it would have made me fera#i so vividly remember seeing people's scars ig#i remember standing next to someone in a queue for a metalcore gig and he had scars on his upper arms#no new cuts but old scars#and nearly 10 years later I'm still thinking about that#my cuts are my my thighs#at my worst my wrists and chest and stonach#but never my upper arms#and i carry the grief of that action with me#to be feeling SO MUCH that that's tye onlybplace that will do#was it strategic? was it impulsive? I'll never know#but i can inspire my ocs upon this trauma tuat i experience Alone at least#i know I'm not alone but rn no one gets why my left thigh hurts so bad-#and ifvi can hurt kayden like i hurt#like that guy standing next to ke hurt#like so mamy of my friends before me have hurt#leigha and chel and so many others
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