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from-now-on-im-switzerland · 1 year ago

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Oh mah God, your jasper fanfics are so stinking cute! A continuation of the baseball one would be perfect!

Like maybe after hanging out with her the feelings get stronger and he decides to distance himself in worry, and the reader, albeit confused, respects him and is a little heartbroken. Maybe at one point he worries about her for a moment when Emmett tells her she didn't look well (she's sleep deprived from stressing about him but trying to keep it to herself) so he pulls a creepy (can't find a better word) Edward and shows up outside her room and senses her heartbroken ness and feels like he has it too but brushes it off thinking it's just hers instead of his own. She starts getting closer to the wolfs and he tries acting like it doesn't bother him and pretends he could care less when she starts sitting with them in the cafeteria after he shows back up at school. And it's not until Alice has a vision of her getting discovered by volturi and "ended" that he starts keeping an eye on her again, and when a guard of the volturi blends in at the school and he notices does things begin and yeah....or something like that lol take the idea into your jar of boredom writing or something 😂

I feel like you'd write this perfectly! And spot on with the jasper and his accent..

Uhm...YES!? You're so creative this is such a good idea. I should be doing my college coursework right now, but this is all I'll think about so I'm doing it right now!! Also forgive the gammer 🥲😫

Okay, it won't be a DIRECT continuation of the Baseball one-shot bc it's already part of of a different fic I'm writing. I'm just gonna take out Y/n's friends but the baseball game still happened okay?

(sorry 🙏) (I don't know if that made sense.)

>I just like the cold.

>Jasperxf¡reader

>As I said, not a direct continuation but instead the start of a new series? (lmk)

>could be a tad longer that what I'd usually write 🥲

>TW, Panic Attack

°Jasper's POV°

When I saw her eyes for the first time, in that cramped hallway, I melted inside. My icey veins (filled with the venom that could end her life in an instant) were fueled with warmth as they must've once been long before. And that all too familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat hasn't left me alone since I caught her scent for the first time.

I thought it was just me being hungry. I hadn't eaten that day and it could've been that she just had tasty smelling blood. But knowing my luck, that obviously wasn't it. I can't put my family through this again, I just can't. I've tried to maintain a friendship with her for the fair few weeks she's been here but it's getting harder and harder.

I can't believe I was once angry or annoyed with Edward for falling for a human. I guess karma's a bitch huh? Y/n has no clue about my feelings, I hope. Why would I tell her? So I think it's best, for her safety if I just stop being friends with her. It'll keep her so much safer I know it will.

"I thought that too" Edward said, appearing in the corner of my room.

I didn't jump, I heard him race up the stairs.

"What?" I asked, annoyed I was interrupted by Mr Thought Police himself.

"About Bella. Remember when we left for half a year? And I left her? I thought it'd make her happy. Safe. But it took us both almost dying for me to realise we were safer together.." Edward said, reminding me of the very thing I wanted to try and avoid.

"But that's you, Eddie. You and Bella, by then she already loved you, by then she knew the risk and by then it was too late for stupid mistakes. I'm in a grey area right now, where she doesn't know a damn thing and I just want to keep her safe." I said, sighing as I heard Emmett approach my room aswell.

"Bro, she really likes us.." Emmett said, racing over to the other corner of my room. "I mean for some reason you specifically, but she's told me! We're actually like best friends now so if you want me to be the middle man..just let me know." He said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I've seen you together before, walking around the school. You've been especially close ever since you almost abliterated her head with a baseball...but oh well."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jasper?" Emmett teased. Edward laughed as he joined our brother over at his side of my room.

"No Emmett you don't, because I have no right to be jealous in the first place, she's not mine to be jealous over." I said, not meeting thier eyes.

"But you want her to be." Edward said.

This drew my attention as I looked up and saw his face. Care and amusement radiating off of him.

"I'm glad you find my dilemma so amusing, none of us ever laughed at you, you moody asshole" I said, throwing a pillow full force in his direction.

He caught it. "It's just funny to see how much of a little boy you're being about something that is so crystal clear" he said, tossing back the pillow.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked, fed up now.

"She's your singer. Just like Bella was mine. I've heard your thoughts, they're too loud to ignore. That feeling? that burning? It's nothing you've felt around anyone else is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but I don't want to have to go through the same old debate of “do we turn her or not” and that's even if she feels the same way.." I said.

"Dude, you're literally an empath. You can find out yourself" Emmett said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I hate using my gift on her as it is. The thought of manipulating her in any way makes my skin crawl, alright? If it's to help her then I can deal with it but I won't just use it to be nosy, that's not fair" I said. "you can still be friends with her if you want Emmett but I can't do it. I won't let myself drag her into this life. I know you wanted the same thing for Bella, Edward but maybe I can make it happen for Y/n. If anyone deserves a blessed life, it's her." I said, walking out my room, speeding out the house and into the forest to clear my head.

I just need to keep away from her. I'll keep her safe that way.

°Reader's POV°

This week had been..strange. Emmett had been even more friendly then he usually was; it was perhaps due to the fact that he could've killed me the other week with that baseball, but y'know, life goes on. And at no point had I even had a chance to speak to Jasper. Even in class, he'd moved seats. Of course, that was his last resort after they wouldn't let him change his lesson plan.

It ached my heart a little because, I really liked him and for some reason it's like a flip had been switched in his brain and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was Friday, and I was determined to atleast get a conversation with him.

While Emmett was babbling on about something to do with gorillas, I interrupted him. "Emmett when did you..uh...see Jasper last?" I asked.

"last I saw he was with Rose and Bella in the cafeteria.." I saw a small glint in his eye as he answered. "But..i don't think he wants to talk to you.." he said just as I began to walk off.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Is he..is he mad at me for something? Why won't he speak to me?" I rattled off a few of the questions I'd kept to myself all week.

"Woah, calm down. It's..." he hesitated. "it's not my place to say but I think he might just be trying to avoid talking to you because he knows if he does, he won't be able to not talk to you. " he said, in a really confusing tone.

"You've complicated this way too much than you needed to. Is he still there now?" I asked reffering to where he said he saw him.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

I took off without a thank you, which I felt bad about, but I was too focused on getting that conversation with Jasper.

I was almost running to the cafeteria, as I knew the bell was going to ring at any moment. I made it in the cafeteria and spotted him immediately, and he saw me too. His eyes met mine for less than half a second, before he looked to the floor.

He left his conversation with his sisters and went to walk out the opposite way that I was coming in. I ran this time, and caught up to him.

"Hey! What's going on? Have I done something?" I asked, needing answers.

He audibly sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in. "No, you haven't. You haven't done a thing, I promise." He said, and began to walk away again. I moved infront of him to stop him from walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, I wasn't finished. If I haven't done anything then what's the issue? Why can't you talk to me I want to be here for you." I tried to take a hold of his hands but he wouldn't let me touch him. And he didn't meet my eyes, he refused to even look at my face.

"Because...Y/n" I heard his voice shaking. "I just can't be around you, it's not your fault, you're not the reason why I just-" he paused, and bit his inner lip. "I just can't okay?" he said, pushing past me. He sped off down the hall not looking back, leaving me behind.

The bell rang through the halls, louder than I'd ever heard it before. It started to hurt my ears but my eyes couldn't pull away from his figure.

Tears swirled in my eyes as I watched him walk off, and my breath quickened. Then, what I feared, that feeling tightened up in my chest. No. Not a panic attack. I can't, not at school. I took one last look at Jasper walking off before racing back out of the cafeteria and into the school parking lot.

The cold air hit me like a kind wave, and the small droplets of rain coated my face as I looked up at the sky, desperaty wanting it to swallow me whole. It was a small sense of relief before the feeling washed back in like the tide. I ditched my backpack and jacket, throwing them on the floor, needing the coldness on my skin. I tried to slow my breathing down but it wasn't working. I made my way down the steps, now in a short sleeve t-shirt, tripping slightly on the last step as I made my way across the lot. My breathing wasn't slowing and I couldn't stop it, I guess I'd just have to ride it out.

"..Y/n?" I heard from the trees.

I span around, my breath not halting and my panic increasing. As my heart rate was about to rocket even more, Seth Clearwater stumbled out from the trees. I had met him a few times, he and his friends all the way down at the Reservation were good friends with the Cullens.

"Seth?" I aksed, I didn't want to start hallucinating people. That would be a whole new area for me that I wouldn't be able to keep up with.

He made his way over to me. "Yeah, it's me. It's Seth. What's going on? Hey...hey" he was inches away from me now. I tied to move away but he stepped closer in fear I was going to somehow hurt myself. My tears wouldn't stop and my head was looking very which way "Y/n. Look at me."

His order sent a small shockwave into me for a second and I snapped my eyes up, his face blurred due to the tears streaming from my eyes. He took his thumbs and wiped under my eyes, but new tears replaced the stains he wiped away.

"Breathe with me okay?" he asked.

I wanted to try, there's nothing I hate more than this shit. But sometimes you can't help but just ride out the attack until it's done. I nodded my head vigorously and he began to breathe, waiting for me to follow suit.

"Okay in..." he took a breath in and let it out softly. "..and out.."

I tried my best to follow suit but my throat needed as much air as it could get. And it kept speeding up the pattern.

"No Y/n with me, c'mon you got this.." he said, holding my hands.

"In.." he breathed in once again and I followed suit. "and out" he breathed out again.

Slowly but surely my breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace but my shaking didn't stop.

"there you go.." he continued the pattern as he slowly walked me over to a stone wall, and sat me down.

"You're freezing, Y/n." he said, touching my cheek after wiping yet another tear..

"I'll be fine..I like the cold when these things happen.." I laughed slightly, to ease the awkwardness, if there was any.

"I know, it helps a lot doesn't it?" he said, sitting down next to me.

"wait, you've-"

"yep" he cut me off, with a sheepish smile. "I get it. You're inside somewhere when that ugly feeling hits. You beeline it for the nearest exist and the air just gives you something else to feel. It doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps. The cold, it..it helps you feel something different other than that thing in your chest.." he said, describing what it was like for him.

I nodded along as he said so. "yeah..that's...exactly it." I smiled.

He looked up from staring at his feet and smiled back at me, before frowning. "Y/n your lips are slowly going blue, I know how much the cold helps but I won't let you catch hypothermia.." Seth said, pulling me into his chest and offering me a hug.

He was so so warm. It wasn't a stuffy warm either, the kind of warm where you feel sticky. It was that cozy warmth. That homely warmth on a winter morning.

I shivered in his arms at the contact. "Oh..jeez your pretty hot. Are you ill or something?" I asked.

He chuckled slightly. "No Y/n, I'm just a warm person.." he admitted.

"C'mon, let's get you back inside.." he said, rising us up to our feet.

"No!" I wriggled out of his grip, my heart fluttering again, in slight panic. I feel if I see him again today, I'll get worse.

He took hold of me again gently. "Okay..I'll take you home yeah? We just gotta grab your stuff that you graciously dumped on the stairs.." he said, smiling.

I laughed slightly as we walked slowly over to the steps. He jogged up them and picked up my stuff. He placed my jacket over my shoulders and carried my bag over to my car.

He walked confidently over to the drivers seat.

"I swear you're like..16 can you even drive?" I asked, a smile paying on my lips.

"I'm 17 now actually. And it's fine don't worry, hop in" he said, unlocking the car with my keys he must've taken from my pocket.

We got in the car and threw our seat belts on.

"Thanks for this Seth. Aren't you missing a lesson right now though?" I asked, I didn't want to ruin his education.

"Oh nah, me and the boys are on a part time timetable for this school and the one down by the Rez, so don't worry about it...anyways.....where's the handbreak?"

My eyes shot in his direction only to see him holding in a laugh.

"Uh. What do you mean where's the handbreak?" I asked.

He finally giggled. "Don't worry, I'm just joking. We'll be fine. I've never been to your house though, so you can be my sat nav" he smiled turning on the car, and pulling out of the car park.

°Jasper's POV°

I walked away from her. Every fibre of my being telling me to look back. I fought against it, but gave in. I looked back and saw a glimpse of her as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

What am I doing?

I felt the dread and panic leaking from her as I started to walk away. And I just left her. I left her feeling that way. I know I'm doing this to keep her safe but I can't pretend that I'm perfect, leaving her in fear.

Special thanks to my power, I'm extremely sensitive to even my own emotions and with years of practice I've managed to get a good control of it, but Y/n..I feel her emotions so much more than anyone else's.

My still heart is telling me not to go near her, to keep her safe...but her scent, as much as it tempts me, it deals me a great source of comfort..I can't explain it. I'm near her and I feel safe. I'm a monster and have nothing to fear really, but in her presence it's like we're the only two on earth.

Which is why I must do this. I can't that let angel be manipulated by the devil deep inside me. I won't allow it.

I let out the breath I was holding in during that encounter, again not that I needed to, but I think people would notice if I wasn't breathing. I made my way to the science block and yippee! I was next to Sire Brain Detective and his wife.

I was waiting outside the classroom to catch Bella before Edward got there. I caught her scent in the hallway and rushed to her side.

"Hey Bella, can you just maybe kinda block my thoughts from Edward please?" I asked, a sheepish smile following close behind.

"Why?" She asked, squinting her eyes a little.

"Well you've never had the problem, but Edward is very nosy. And I'd just like my thoughts kept to myself for today." I said.

We kept on walking into the classroom and to our seats.

"So it's nothing to do with Y/n then?" she quizzed.

Even hearing her name makes me feel sick.

"No. Bella..just please can you do it?" I was begging her at this point as I smelled Edward down the corridor.

She looked up as she caught his scent too. "Okay, but you owe me" she said.

"Thanks Bella." I said.

Edward walked in the class and met my eyes immediately, a hint of confusion crossed his face before he sat down next to his wife and realised. "Oh c'mon how is that fair?" he said.

"How is what fair?" Me and Bella said at the same time. We looked at eachother breifely before opening out books as instructed to.

°Reader's POV°

Awkward, sweaty and sleepless. That's all I feel right now. I close my eyes and he's there. I open my eyes an he's all I can imagine. Everything I tried, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even tried counting sheep, but the sheep soon morphed themselves into horses, then I soon saw him riding a horse, actually imagining him as a Cowboy. I snapped my eyes open and drank some water I left by the side of my bed, before making a last attempt to get some sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning in the same directions over and over again, I got up and opened my window. Again, the cold air washed over me and it was almost instant relief. Just like Seth said, it gives you something else to feel.

I watched the trees as they swayed in the wind, thier green leaves brushing against eachother at each breeze. Out of all the places my Mum had placed me while she did her book tour, Washington was probably my favourite so far, well specifically Forks. Since the beginning of the year, (when my Mum's book tour started) I'd been placed in a random city in the state she needed to visit, and Forks was this really nice and small town. Where everyone knew everyone. Of course, the thought of litteraly everyone talking about me as the new arrival didn't appeal to me at all, but when I had moments to myself, it was impossible for me not to gawk at the nature around me. The grey skies, while annoying to some, gave me a nice comforting feeling. The rain, which everyone hated, was my favourite weather. I don't know what it was.. I guess I just like the cold.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone buzzed under my pillow. It was my mum calling, I answered of course, but I wandered why she was calling at 4am.

"Mum? what's up?" I asked, trying to hide my tired voice.

"Oh my god Y/n I'm so sorry.. I forgot about the time zones...go back to sleep, I'll ring you at a better time.." she said.

"wait what do you mean the time zones? you're in Washington too?" I questioned, wandering what she meant.

"No..honey, that's why I called. I got to my hotel and they said they had my reservation booked for next year, so they flew me out to the state I was supposed to be in." She said, sounding ashamed. "I tried to mention you, and say how I could catch my own flight..but.. they-they wouldn't listen to me..."

"Mum... Mum it's okay, don't worry about it I'll be fine okay? Just make me proud." I said.

"but I only gave you enough money to last a couple months not over a year..nearly two! And you're in your last year of school, what will you do all day? How-"

"Mum" I cut her off "I'll get a job, it'll be fine. You've been doing book tours since I was like 15, I know how to live on my own." I said.

"but that was when you were 5 minutes down the road...or a bus drive away..now I'm on the other side of the country!" She panicked.

"wait, the other side of the country? where did they fly you to?" I asked. The phone went silent for a few seconds before she answered.

"I'm in Georgia, honey.." She said. "I called you as soon as I had time, I'm sorry I've left you there, I can book a flight and cancel the tour-"

"-No, Mum don't. I'm not gonna pretend hearing you were in Georgia didn't scare me a little bit, but I'm perfectly fine here in Forks. I like it here.." I said honestly.

"but honey-"

"No 'buts'." I said. "Mum some kids leave the nest at early ages, some never leave..maybe it's my time to make a life for myself.." I said, with tears threatening to spill.

"I-in Washington, are you sure?" Mum's voice was shaking by now.

"Mum, I'm old enough. I know it's scary, it'll be difficult too but.. sometimes life just throws you in a new direction and you can't help but see where it takes you.." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one full of wisdom little lady" she joked. "well...I guess it isn't the craziest idea you've had." she said, sadly.

"so yeah?" I asked.

She took a deep breath "Yes Y/n, yes. Start your life.." she said.

"Okay.." I said.

It wasn't long before I was off the phone and trying to sleep again. I prayed when I rested my head on the pillow, he wouldn't plug my mind, but much to my dismay he returned and my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and managed to drift off to sleep just before my alarm rang for me to start getting ready for school. The ringing of the bell threw me back to that moment. That moment he left. Just like that.

°Emmett's POV°

Since the day Jasper told Y/n that he couldn't be near her anymore, she hasn't been in. And I'm worried about how she's taken it.

I didn't tell Jasper I was gonna go pick Y/n up today as I didn't want him to go all emo and be like “ugh you're gonna smell like her all day!” so I instead took my absolutely, positively, non-judgemental wife.

"So why are we on our way to a humans house right now?" Rose asked me from the passenger's seat of my jeep. "what purpose is she serving us other than pleasing our noses?"

"Babe, she's my friend..and I'm worried about how she is. She didn't come in at all last week since Jasper didn't want anything to do with her, and I'm not gonna let my idiot of a brother be the reason she fails school.." I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

Rose went silent and looked out the window. "Just let me know when we're there.." she said, closing her eyes.

"That would be now.." I said, pulling up outside her house.

I got out the jeep while Rose stayed in, and made my way to the front door. I hesitated before knocking and waited for an answer. A good minute went by, so I knocked again and as I did, the door flew open.

"I told you three times already, Mrs Henderson doesn't live here anym-" she cut herself off when she saw my amused face.

She rubbed her eyes. "Emmett?"

"The one and only!" I replied.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was drained, and she looked a lot less bubbly than before. Her eyes drooped slightly and dark circles hung below them from lack of sleep.

"To get you to school, missy!" I said, not wanting to comment about the elephant in the room.

"But Emmett, Jasper said-"

"Fuck what Jasper said, it's your life and it's your school too. What..just because he's being a little bitch right now that means you can't get educated? I don't see how that's fair.." I said, crossing my arms.

She rolled her half-lidded eyes. "Okay, let me get changed.." she said, turning back into her house and shutting the door.

I celebrated my victory behind the wood of the closed door and waited for her to open it again. I sat on the step and prepared to wait, when the door swung open again. She stepped out with all her stuff. "C'mon then, let's go." she said, plastering on a fake smile.

"I thought you were atleast gonna cook some breakfast? It's like half seven in the morning..." I said, standing up and leading her to the jeep.

"Nah...not hungry." she said, climbing in.

I got in too, and put the radio back on.

"Hey Rosalie" Y/n said, tiredly a sheepish smile across her face.

My head quickly turned to my wife and I begged her with my eyes to be nice. But she didn't even look at me and instead looked for Y/n in the wing mirror.

"Jasper's an idiot, but he cares about you and he's doing this for your own good, I'd take it as a win." she said, before closing her eyes again and turning up the radio.

I started the jeep up again after a small awkward silence with nothing but the music blaring and began to drive to the school.

"yeah but does he know how much it's actually hurting?" Y/n whispered, any normal person wouldn't have heard it but of course me being a beautiful, immortal, gifted being...I did.

Passing through the familiar streets of Forks, it didn't take me long to get to the school, I parked the jeep and Rose got out. I turned around in my seat to face Y/n. Her sleep-deprived look catching me off guard once again.

"You ready girl?" I asked, grinning.

She sighed. "Not really, Emmett" she replied sadly, staring at a particular stone wall in the car park.

"Well c'mon, you got this. Let's go" I said, getting out.

It wasn't long before she climbed out herself. As she shut the door.

"Thanks for dragging me in Emmett, but I'm gonna go incase he appears from around the corner or something.." she said, with low energy as she dragged her feet toward the doors of the school.

°Reader's POV°

I couldn't thank Emmett more, I wouldn't have been able to get here on my own accord. It's just a shame I didn't have the energy to express my gratitude to him as much as I wanted to.

It was about 10 minutes until my first lesson so I walked to the cafeteria to get a drink. As I opened the doors, I saw Seth and some of his friends from the Rez sat at a table and so I wasted no time in going over there.

"What are you lot doing here?" I asked.

"Part time, time-table in each school! How do you keep forgetting that?" one of them said.

"Uhm..Seth?" I looked to him for help, I could barely remember any of the other's names.

"Alright, sit down." he pulled a chair from the table behind him and turned it next to him, facing their table. "Here we have Quil, Leah my sister, and Embry." he said.

I had only met the rest of them once but Seth I had seen a number of times, and he's who I was closest to...now for a very obvious reason.

"So what's your first lesson?" Quil asked.

"Science.." I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek afterward to simmer down the anxiety I felt creeping in.

I started boucing my leg too, which Seth took notice to. He offered me a smile, which I returned, weak as ever.

The bell rang, louder than before, and I covered my ears, burying my head down against my chest. Each time I hear that bastard bell it gets louder and louder, and the memory of that last conversation with him gets clearer and clearer in my mind.

°Jasper's POV°

"I'm telling you man..she's-"

Emmett would not stop. I told him I didn't want to hear it, but he was following me all over our house, not leaving me alone.

"her eyes don't look the same, she doesn't have nearly as much energy as she used to, I haven't seen her smile, and if I'm being honest I don't think she's eating properly.." Emmett said.

Hearing his words made my non-beating heart ache.

"I've been picking her up all week and she never eats breakfast, and when was the last time I saw her eating in the cafeteria? Uhh let me think, I haven't!" he said, in my face.

I was looking at the floor, guilt riddling my body. She's like this because of me.

"I get it. Emmett. Okay?" I spat, my voice quavering.

He moved back slowly, almost realising that this was hurting me too, and left my room.

After staring out the window for another moment or two, I sped off out the house before anyone could question it. I ducked and dived between branches, breaking them if they were too big for me to dodge. I raced through the woods rembering the route to her house when I met her before school, when we first started to talk to each other. I ran to her. Wondering what I was going to do when I got there, would I beg her to forgive me? Would I stop this madness and just tell her everything? At this point, I couldn't see anything but her angelic face, and hear her sweet voice and before I knew it, I came to a swift stop by the trees of her house.

I approached it slowly, still deciding what to do, until I lingered by the side of the house where her bedroom was. I climbed up a tree that rested just by it and waited to see her or atleast hear her.

"fuck sake..just go away!" I heard her complain as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "You don't want anything to do with me so why won't you get out of my head!" She panicked, her voice wailing as she spoke.

"It's not fair.." she said after a minute of silence. She got up. "It's not fair." she repeated. She tossed her chair on the floor. "It's not fair!" she threw a picture frame against the wall. She repeated those three words, growing more aggressive each time and trashing a new part of her room until she ran out of energy.

She breathed heavily and sunk against the wall, sobbing. She cried, and it was like a thousand hot knives were cutting me all over. She cried and I had to fight as hard as I could not to rush in there.

She cried and I felt heartbreak. My breath quickened too, as her emotions laced with my own. Sat in the tree in that moment I didn't know which emotions were mine and which were hers.

She cried and cried until she fell asleep, and that's when some of her emotions filtered away from my body. Though she fell asleep and tears were still staining her cheeks, the aching in my heart wouldn't leave or subside. It stayed.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight headcanon #edward cullen #jasper hale #alice cullen #bella cullen #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock hale #rosalie cullen #y/n #jasper hale fanfiction #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #embry call #quil ateara

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moonsgemini · 1 year ago

Text

american heartbreak - i

summary: all June Summers wants is to be Rafe Cameron’s date to the county fair dance. Everyone from town would be there and she was tired of going alone. She was tired of watching him dance with other women, tired of waiting around for him.

warnings: cowboy!rafe x oc (minimal to no oc description, mutual pining, angst, fluff

wc: 2.7k

an: I hope you guys enjoy! I love cowboy rafe. I also just love writing au’s there’s so much more room for creative freedom. I basically just use rafe as a face claim bc drew starkey is a literal greek god.

series masterlist

The sound of June’s boots as she paced back and forth behind the counter were beginning to drive Amber crazy. She was trimming tulips to make a new bouquet but she could barely concentrate when the her coworker was an anxious mess. The soft sound of music wasn’t enough to drown out the clacking of boots against wood. June bit her fingernails anxiously, her stare not leaving the floor as she was lost in thought.

“June I swear I’m going to kill you if you don’t relax,” She scolded the girl who stopped abruptly.

She smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry, I just am really nervous. What if he like laughs at me or something?”

Amber rolled her eyes, “That boy would never laugh at you.”

“You never know. What if he like thinks I’m crazy or worse never speaks to me again after he rejects me because he feels so bad!” She exclaimed dramatically.

“How do you even sleep at night with all this worrying?”

“I don’t get much of it.”

All week June had been practicing over and over in her head how she would ask her lifelong crush, Rafe, to the county fair. At the end of the night there would be a dance that the whole town went to. It was a big deal around here, and going with a date was a big deal. Every year there would be some new surprising couple that would be the talk of the town for the next few weeks before some new gossip spread. June had been pining over Rafe Cameron like a love sick puppy since they were eleven years old when boys started becoming cute and not gross anymore.

She had planned on asking him when he came in this afternoon. Rafe always came in on thursday evenings after practice to buy a fresh bouquet of flowers to take to his mom’s grave. A tradition he started in high school, the day before the rodeo, he’d go visit his mom. To this day he swore she was his goodluck charm. When June started working at the flower shop at sixteen she was ecstatic to have another excuse to see Rafe.

She glanced at the clock on the wall and her palms started sweating, it was six now which meant he was out of practice by now. June decided to make herself busy in the mean time to occupy her jittery fingers.

Rafe parked outside the small flower shop and let out a sigh of relief. Being at the flower shop on meant it was the end of his practice week and now he just had to worry about riding. It also meant he got to visit his favorite girl, and he wasn’t talking about his mom.

He looked into his rearview mirror of his old pick up truck and adjusted his hat. Checking himself to make sure he didn’t have any dirt or muck on his face. He got out of his truck making long strides towards the door. As he entered that all too familiar bell jingled alerting June and Amber or his presence. The smell of fresh flowers over took his senses, as well as the presence of his favorite flower girl.

June looked up from where she was picking the leaves off of the carnation stems. Her eyes widening for a second, her face beginning to feel hot as she smiled shyly at him. Suddenly any ounce of confidence she had to ask him about the dance left her body. That smirk he always wore turning her into a pile of mush. She’s surprised her legs were still holding her up as he walked over to the counter.

“Hi Rafe,” She said softly. Amber smiled to herself as she watched them interact. She sneakily walked into the back room to give them some privacy. It was a little routine she did whenever Rafe came in.

“Hi sweetheart, whatcha got today for me?” He asked resting his palms against the counter supporting his weight as he leaned towards her.

He was such a natural flirt. She could barely look him in the eyes most of the time, “we just got a bunch of beautiful tulips in so I made you a bouquet of purple ones with some baby’s breath,” June walked over to the one of the bucked holding an abundance of bouquets, “I also put a few daisy’s to add a bit more to it.”

She showed him the bouquet proudly. A wide smile spreading across his face, “That is beautiful. You’re so good. Mom will love them.”

June knew Rafe’s mom. She cared for everyone in town like they were all her family. Whenever June would be over at their house hanging out with Sarah she would make them food, always let them ride horses. When they were really young she’d let them play in the rain and get all muddy, when other mom’s in town would scold her for letting the kids look like a mess. She was the sweetest woman.

“Always the best for her,” She fidgeted with her hands nervously. If he knew the effect he had on her he’d be too powerful.

He pulled out his wallet and handed her a twenty. Since he was their best customer she never charged him more than that. Clueless Rafe just thought that was how much each bouquet was, “Am I seeing you tomorrow at the rodeo?”

She nodded, “Of course. I might help out Mrs.Mayfield sell raffle tickets.”

“Always the helpful one. I better see you at the Rooster after,” He pointed at her scolding playfully. Roosters was one of the local bars everyone went out to.

June laughed softly, “Maybe, I doubt you’d even notice if I wasn’t there.”

“Darlin I always notice when you’re not around,” He smirked, “I better get going to see mom.”

“Goodluck tomorrow Rafe,” She smiled with a small wave as he began walking out.

He tipped his hat at her with that cute lopsided smile on his lips, “I’ll see you tomorrow Ms.Summers.”

June watched him walk out to his truck, a dumb love struck smile on her face. That crush she’s had on him since second grade was never going away.

“You chicken.”

She jumped and reached to clutch her chest, “Oh my god you scared me.” She scolded her friend.

Amber had her arms crossed leaning against the doorway to the back, “You didn’t ask him!”

“I couldn’t! My brain got all blurry. I-I just can’t handle the thought of rejection. Especially not from him.”

“Did you not hear everything he said to you?” She walked over standing in front of June, “He practically was begging you to go tomorrow. Verbatim said ‘I always notice when you’re not around’ um hello?”

June shrugged, “He’s just being nice, that’s just Rafe.”

Amber stared at her with a deadpan expression, “I wish I could put you in a choke hold right now.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’ll try to ask him tomorrow after the rodeo.”

“I’m sure you will. But we’re definitely going out after,” She smiled.

June and Amber had been friends since they were in diapers. Their moms being best friends themselves it was almost a given that their two daughters would be just as close. After they graduated high school they took all the money they had saved up and rented a cute little house in town. Now they were working on buying out Mr.Robertson for his flower shop. They had been working in it since they were fifteen and they wanted it to be their’s. Mr.Roberston kindly offered to sell it to them since he was getting too old to take care of it himself and once he sold it he’d move to Florida with his daughter.

The girls were close to buying it, needing a few more months to get the rest of the money. Most people wanted to move out of the small town they were born in but that wasn’t June or Amber. June liked it there, she liked the familiarity and the comfort it brought. She liked her life here, she liked living with her best friend and working with her too. She liked being five minutes away from her parents. June felt lucky to be where she was and have the people she had in her life.

After closing they had stopped by the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner. Now headed home in June’s dad’s old mustang they enjoyed the cool summer afternoon breeze and listened to their favorite artist, Taylor Swift. June felt like she had the perfect life. The only thing she longed for was someone to be by her side. Of course she had Amber but she wanted a romantic relationship. She wanted someone who could hold her at night and take her out on dates.

It’s not like she hadn’t tried to get a boyfriend. June had gone on a few dates but they never ended well. She was seeing Liam, a local mechanic, for a month but then she saw him flirting and kiss another girl at Rooster’s. After that she went on a date with a local bull rider, one of Rafe’s teammates, but he never called her after the night was over. June thought it was because she didn’t put out on the first date. She doesn’t know that it was because Rafe cornered the guy and threatened him. Told him if he ever went out with you again he’d tie him to his truck and drag him across town.

Amber had her own boyfriend, James, who was friends with Rafe. They worked together on the Cameron farm and occasionally helped coach Rafe. June has refused his attempts to set her up with Rafe more times than she could count. James moved to town a few years ago after he heard that the Cameron’s were looking for another ranch hand.

“Wanna invite Sarah for dinner?” Amber asked as they carried the groceries into the house.

June shrugged, “Sure, we haven’t seen her since she left for Charleston.”

“I’ll call her, can you get started on the potatoes please,” Amber said as she started dialing Sarah.

“yeah yeah,” June rolled her eyes playfully as she unpacked the grocery bags.

The three girls were all friends in school and Sarah ended up moving to North Carolina for college once they graduated. They managed to stay as close as possible with the distance. Sarah is Rafe’s sister and of course she knew of June’s infatuation with her older brother. Sarah wanted them to end up together, always talked about how perfect it would be to have her as a sister in law.

When they were younger and June would go to Sarah’s house she always prayed she’d run into Rafe. Occasionally she would but he was the same old Rafe back then. Would make slightly flirty comments towards her making her flustered and making her crush on him grow.

The girls sat around the dining table laughing at old stories from their childhood. Every time they got together it felt like they were fifteen again sneaking alcohol from Ward’s liquor cabinet and turning into a fit of tipsy giggles.

“And then Rafe came out from the barn and June practically jumped on him she was so excited to see him,” Sarah laughed tilting her head back.

June covered her embarrassed face at the memory, “Oh god! I forgot about that.”

“That was the closest you’ve gotten to him like ever,” Amber added, “You need to drink tequila again.”

“That will probably be the closest I get to him ever,” She said a hint of sadness in her voice.

“June you should just ask him out yourself. Forget all that old fashioned stuff. My brother would never be mean to you.”

June took a sip of her wine, “I know he wouldn’t be mean but it’s the rejection that turns me away. He could have anyone why would he want me. He also is always out with some other girl. She’s usually a lot prettier than me.”

“June Summers you know I don’t tolerate that negative talk in our house,” Amber scolded, “You are beautiful and he would be lucky to have someone like you. I also highly doubt he’d reject you.”

She smiled at her, “And how do you know that?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “Because he’s like practically in love with you! He doesn’t great other girls the way he treats you. He also looks at you different.”

“Then why has he never asked me out! It just doesn’t make sense. I’d rather keep him as a friend than lose him completely.”

“I wish he didn’t have such a thick skull then maybe he’d have some sense,” Sarah stood grabbing the girls empty plates to take to the sink.

“Fallin off too many bulls in his life,” Amber giggled.

June stood to grab the bottle or wine to refill their glasses, “Oh I’m gonna head out soon. Rafe is picking me up on his way home from James’ and he texted me he’s on his way,” Sarah said beginning to wash the dishes.

“Come on so early?” Amber gave her puppy eyes.

She laughed, “Yes, I have an exam online in the morning I still need to study for. That masters won’t get itself ladies.”

“Speaking of James has Amber told you that she thinks he’s going to propose soon,” June smirked trying to forget about the fact that Rafe was coming to her house soon.

“Shut up!” Sarah exclaimed.

“I know! He’s been so suspicious lately! He’s been working a lot and he’s not so subtly asked me for my ring size last month. Then he went to the city last week but he didn’t want me to come because he said he was doing some boring errands for Ward,” Amber’s cheeks began hurting from smiling so much at the thought of her boyfriend, “But I don’t believe that for a second. I think he went to buy a ring.”

“Oh please get married soon! I want to be a bridesmaid,” Sarah said excitedly as she dried her hands. There was a knock on the door as she finished, “That’s me, go get the door June while I get my things together.” She smirked at her friend.

“I hate you guys,” She whisper shouted in case he could hear them. Amber practically pushed June to the door.

She took a deep breath fixing her hair a bit before opening the door. He stood looking the same as he did earlier that day, still just as handsome as before. He smiled as soon as he saw her, he was really hoping it’d be June answering the door.

“Hi Rafe,” She said softly. Her timid demeanor returning whenever she was around him, he made all her confidence vanish always.

“Hi sweetheart, how are you tonight?” He asked with that cute smile he always wore around her. For a second she pretended he was picking her up for their first date.

“I’m good, and you?” She asked politely still stuck in her daydream.

“Better now, is Sarah ready?” He asked breaking her from her fantasy. Truthfully Rafe didn’t want the conversation to end but he knew he was there for a reason.

“Uh yeah she’s just getting her things,” As if on cue Sarah showed up next to June.

“I’m ready,” She hugged June tightly, “I’ll see you tomorrow Juney.”

“Does that mean you’re going out tomorrow with everyone?” Rafe asked with a smirk, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I guess so, can’t say no to this one,” She smiled nodding her head towards Sarah.

“I’m her favorite what can I say,” Sarah shrugged smirking, “Come on Rafe I gotta study.” She walked towards the truck leaving Rafe behind.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then June bug,” He tipped his hat at her like he always did before walking down the porch steps.

“Bye Rafe,” She waved and waved towards Sarah who was smiling at the pair from inside the truck.

June spent the night praying that the words Sarah said earlier that night were true. That Rafe somehow was in love with her. But she couldn’t help that voice that was always in the back of her head telling her how that could never be possible.

Maybe tomorrow she’d have some tequila.

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obsessedelusional · 2 years ago

Text

Destroying Yourself to Keep a Friend

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

summary ✦ You befriend Eddie Munson as an attempt to piss off your toxic on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Only for you start comparing the two, quickly realizing Jason is no longer who you have feelings for. MODERN AU

word count ✦ 6.9k

authors note ✦ This song has been stuck in my head for weeks inspired this piece. 10/10 recommend you giving it a listen Drunk Text by Henry Moodie REPOSTING THIS BC NO ONE SAW IT ):

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

1st of November

The night had started because you had a gut feeling about Jason doing something shady. He started growing more distant than he already was. When you two found time to be together, he was hiding his phone. Rumors starting circulating around school that he was cheating on you. So when found out he was at a party that you didn’t know about you had to show up. Eddie was your ride, waiting for you outside. Only to arrive and see some blonde wrapped around his waist, she was a cheerleader. You stood there, Jason entirely oblivious to your arrival. Until she kissed him, him kissing her back.

“I can’t believe you.” You say, causing Jason to look up wide eyed from the kiss, pushing the girl off him.

“No it’s not what it looks like.” He pleads with you, reaching out to you. You push his hands away.

“Fuck this.” You mutter, as you leave. He follows you outside.

“I just thought that’s what we’re doing now. Fucking around with other people.” He yells from the front door, you’ve almost reached Eddie’s van.

“I’m not stupid. You’ve been fucking Munson.” He accuses you causing you whip around to face him.

“You are stupid. So fucking stupid. I haven’t done anything with him only because I’ve been faithful to you!” You croak. Jason reaches for you once again, profusely apologizing.

“Fuck you.” You say before hopping in Eddie’s van. That’s when it hits you, he definitely heard all of that.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” The rest of the ride is silent. Only a quick goodbye when he drops you off at your home. Before you can even make it to your door he catches up with you stopping you from going inside, he wants to say something but can’t get it out. Jason’s car pulls up to your house.

“I swear if you get in that car with him whatever this is we’re done. I can’t do this anymore.” Eddie admits, finally hitting his breaking point.

“Eddie-“

“I’m serious. I can’t keep standing by watching Jason treat you like shit.” The sight in front of you breaks your heart, you can feel the pain in his voice. More upset at how you’ve made Eddie feel than just finding out Jason’s been cheating on you. Jason is yelling from his Jeep parked out in the road, demanding you to leave with him.

“I’m sorry. I can’t-” Your voice is shaky.

“Forget it.” Eddie says, turning around leaving you on your front porch. He says some not so nice but we’ll deserved words to Jason before hopping in his van and driving off. Jason climbs out of his car approaching you. You can’t handle this. You don’t want Jason. You want Eddie but that’s not fair to either of them right now. You need to be alone. Before Jason can reach you, you slip in side quickly locking the door behind you.

“What the fuck?” Jason yells, rattling the door handle.

“Go away, Jason.” You say between his screaming. You find your headphones, find the playlist of all your saddest songs and turn the volume so high you can’t hear him anymore.

—

5th of November - A Few Days Later

“Dude you need to tell her how you feel. Get it over with.” Jeff grumbles irritated by this entire situation. Jeff and Garth always being there to console Eddie after your many breakups with your on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Eddie knows Jeff’s right but simply refuses to take his advice.

“You know it’s not that easy.” Eddie groans, rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep he’s been having this last week. He hasn’t spoken to you since the first, the night you caught Jason cheating. He’s been staying up late every night drafting messages to send you. A message that would let you know how he truly felt. Usually going something like this:

I wish I was who you drunk texted at midnight. Wish I was the reason you stay up 'til 3, you can't fall asleep because you’re waiting for me to reply. I wish I was more than just someone you walk by. That I wasn't scared to be honest and open, instead of just hoping you’d feel what I'm feeling inside.

DELETE

“You’re destroying yourself to keep a friend.” Garth says.

“A shitty friend at that.” Jeff adds.

“Jason cheated on her. Yet she went back to him. What more does she have to do for you to move on?” Garth asks, Jeff nodding in agreement.

—

The Past

Two years ago you befriended Eddie to spite Jason, he was well aware of that but still let you hang around. Only for you to find the person you felt safest around. You could be your self without the fear of judgement. It didn’t take long before Eddie was the one you ran to at any minor inconvenience or major.

You’d been dating Jason since junior high, now the two of you seniors in high school. He wasn’t the sweet kid you grew to love any more. He was bully to everyone, especially you. Things really began going downhill when he joined high school basketball his freshman year. Harassing you to become a cheerleader because the best basketball player should have a cheer leader girlfriend. You did it for six months before quitting, the cliquey bullshit too much to handle. That was the first time he broke up with you. Lasted all of a week until he came back, begging you to take him back. You did, part of you regrets that to this day.

Several months later you overheard the popular girls talking about how they didn’t understand why Jason was with you. Tears in your eyes you went to Jason in the hopes he’d soothe your worries. Only for him to confirm what they were saying about you. ‘What do you expect? I’m on the basketball team and you’re nobody. I tried to help you by having you join the cheer squad. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even with you.’

His evil words only made you angry, you broke it off with him on the spot. His teammates watched the whole thing go down because you interrupted their practice to talk to him. You were so embarrassed. On your way out of the gym you bumped into Eddie Munson with tears running down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking up at the tall man in front of you.

“It’s okay…” His voice trails off when he notices your teary eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asks, genuine concern in his voice and eyes. You’re not sure what comes over you but almost immediately you start crying even harder and muttering ‘Jason is a dick’.

“That’s something we can agree on.” He laughs, bringing a smile to your face while still crying attempting to rub the tears away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks, you half wondering why he’s being so nice to you considering how terrible Jason is to him. While also thinking to yourself Jason finding out you’ve been hanging around Munson would infuriate him. Maybe feel as half as angry as you feel in this moment. You nod yes before following Eddie to the drama club room.

There was an hour till his Hell Fire club meeting. The two of you sat on a used and abused love seat, he listened as you ranted spilling all the details of your breakup. He actually listened, Jason never listens to you anymore. More often than not talking over you. You felt bad comparing the two of them but couldn’t help it. Your moment with Eddie was cut short when Dustin came into the room, he looked surprised by your presence.

“I should get going. Thanks for listening to me.” You smile, standing up. Eddie follows you standing up, startled when you wrap your arms around him. Hugging him before leaving, giving Dustin an awkward smile as you walk out the room.

“What the fuck were you doing with Jason Carvers girlfriend?” Is what you hear from outside the room.

—

Eddie thought that was the end of you two. Only to receive a friend request from you that night. He accepts it and without missing a beat, you message him. Thanking him again.

Eddie: it’s no biggy

You: it was to me

Eddie: ya know I thought you’d be different

You: wdym

Eddie: your nice just always assumed anyone who could put up with Jason Carver had to just as awful

You: well I always thought you were scary but turns out you’re pretty sweet

Eddie can’t help but blush at your words. Realizing quickly he shouldn’t be reacting this way. Your Jason Carvers ex girlfriend, you could never be with a freak like him.

Eddie: me? sweet? never.

—

Eddie spent the entirety of that weekend glued to his phone waiting for your responses. He kept telling him self he needed to stop messaging you. Only for you to respond and he’d waste no time sending you a message back.

“Who the hell are you talking to that’s taking all your attention?” Jeff asks. Nobody believes him when he says he’s messaging you.

“Jason Carvers girlfriend? There’s no fucking way.” Garth sneers.

“Ex-girlfriend.” Eddie smiles causing Jeff and Garth to laugh.

“They’ve broken up like a bajillion times. They’ll be back together in a week.”

“Whatever.” Eddie mutters, good mood ruined.

They were right. A week later you and Jason had made up, dating again. To say Eddie was disappointed was an understatement. For a brief moment he genuinely thought you were feeling what he was feeling inside. Thought maybe he had a real chance with you. When he arrived to school seeing you hand in hand with Jason his heart broke. Confused how after all the shitty things you admitted about Jason you’d go back to him.

“Hey Eddie.” You smile, greeting him before the first bell.

“You look… tired.” He says, trying his best to show concern but not be rude. To put it frank you looked like shit.

“Yeah I got drunk last night. Stayed up till three am waiting for Jason to respond to the stupid drunk text I sent him.” You groan sitting next to him.

“Really?” Eddie asks, wishing he was the one you drunk texted. Wishing he was the reason you couldn’t sleep waiting for him to reply.

“Worked though because he was at my house early as fuck, apologies ready. We made up.” You smile half heartedly, part of you looking for Eddie’s reaction. He has none.

“That good.” Eddie fakes a smile before leaving you alone. He had to pretend like he was happy for you. It only got worse when later that day he was stopped by Jason in the hallway.

“You need to leave her alone, freak. As if she’d want anything to do with you.” Jasons words spit in Eddie’s face.

“We’re just friends.” Eddie says before Jason shoves past him sending him into the lockers. Jason walks off as Eddie regains his balance, picking up his backpack from the floor. Sadder than ever.

Eddie had no idea that you had been given the same instructions. You were right, befriending Eddie pissed Jason off. So much that he apologized for what he said.

Even with Jason threats, that didn’t stop you. The harder he tried to keep you two apart only made you closer to Eddie. Every time Jason pushed you away he was pushing you into Eddie’s arms.

This became most evident to you when your nana past away. As soon as you found out you called Eddie. To this day Jason doesn’t know she passed away. That night when you called Eddie tears in your eyes he dropped what he was doing to pick you up. Showed up to your home with all your favorite snacks and the first Lord of The Rings movie. You had listened to Eddie talk about it so much. Eventually asking if he’d watch them with you so you could further understand his ramblings. He was more than ecstatic to watch them with you.

That’s the night you started lying to your parents but more importantly lying to Jason. Lying about where you spent that night. And nearly every Friday night after that, using the next movie in LOTR series as an excuse to keep sleeping over at Eddie’s. After finishing that he talked you into watching The Hobbit, you happily watched given an excuse to spend more time with Eddie. You’d miss Jason’s basketball games to be with him. When first being picked up you were always filled with guilt. Only for the feeling to subside when you see Eddie’s smiling face in the drivers seat. Little did you know that Eddie was missing out on HellFire meetings eventually having to change the day they held the meetings to Thursdays. That didn’t go over well with the guys, only adding to their list of reasons to dislike you.

Sleepovers at Eddie’s started off as innocent. His uncle worked nights so you’d two have the trailer to yourselves. At first he offered you his bed while he slept on the couch. That only lasted a few times before he started sleeping on the floor near his bed where you slept. The next time you were upset about something Jason did you fell asleep on his chest, face sticky from crying. He didn’t dare move you, shortly falling asleep under your touch. After that is was just some kind of unspoken rule that it was okay to sleep in the same bed. Couldn’t help but worry what Jason would think, how mad it would make him. What he would do to Eddie if he knew.

One night spent at Eddie’s lead to drinking. The two of you got drunk together. Only Eddie didn’t drink nearly as much as you, wanted to make sure you were safe. One of you needed to be sober and he was more than happy be the coherent person in the room. You were angry at Jason and wanted nothing more than to forget. It was nearly midnight when you pulled your phone out and started drunk texting Jason. Letting him know exactly how mad you were, Eddie fast asleep next to you. The message made no sense, filled with errors.

You: duck you us used to be soooo good now your a asshole

Jason: where the fuck are you

You started panicking immediately. Remembering that Jason definitely had your location on. Always turning it off when Eddie picked you up. Texting him only made him think to check it realizing it was off.

You: nunya

Jason: wtf

You: business lol

It wasn’t that funny though. Your phone started blowing up. Him asking if your drunk and how you better not be with Eddie. Several missed calls and texts leads you to shutting your phone off. You lay awake till 3 am. Your brain storming with your thoughts. Praying that Jason doesn’t just show up to Eddie’s home cause that’s definitely something he’d do. After a few restless hours you decide to focus on the beautiful sweet man next to you. You truly felt like you didn’t deserve him. He was so nice, always there for you. You watch Eddie for a while, watching the way his chest moves as he snores. The moon light from the window, giving you just enough light to admire him. You’re too busy examining the tattoos on his arms to notice him waking up.

“Everything okay?” He asks voice low and scratchy, startling you. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, sitting up better to see you.

“Kinda.” You whisper.

“Kinda?”

“I did something so stupid.” You groan, remembering the events before Eddie woke up.

“What did you?” He asks worry in his voice. You turn your phone back on, waiting for the screen to turn on you start explaining.

“I drunk texted Jason.” Eddie says your name in a disappointed voice. Just as he does that your phone turns on dinging from all the missed texts.

“Is that him?” Eddie asks.

“Yes.” The messaged stop on the most recent one, from forty minutes ago.

Jason: whatever he can have you. you two freaks deserve each other

“What’s he saying?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“He wants to know where I’m at. Why my location is off.” You leave out the messages about him. Eddie doesn’t say anything.

“I was scared he was gonna show up here. I think he’s given up for now, I’m sorry.” You apologize for waking him up.

“It’s fine.” He says half heartedly before turning his back to you to go back to sleep. You can’t help but feel like it’s not fine.

The next morning you woke up early. Did your best to not wake Eddie up as you slinked out of bed. Grabbed your belongings before taking one last look at the man laying there. You couldn’t help but feel like you fucked something up. Your dads refusal to let you get license leads to you bumming rides of people. Used to be Jason but you can not call him now. A swift text to your only friend left that wasn’t pushed away by your relationship with Jason, Sarah leads to to her picking you up.

“You look like shit.” Sarah says as you climb into the passenger seat.

“I feel like shit.” You sigh.

“What happened?” She asks as she starts her car, slowly pulling out of the trailer park. You explain the events of last night.

“Why do you even put up with Jason?” Before you can respond she adds to her statement.

“When you have someone like Eddie?”

“What do you mean?” She rolls her eyes at your unawareness.

“We’ll I may of heard some things.” She admits.

“Things?”

“Ya know his friends Jeff and Garth?” You nod yes.

“They’re in my PE class. I got put into a group with them. They spent the entire period talking shit about you.” She half laughs.

“About me?” What could they possibly have to say about you?

“Yeah how Eddie’s so hopelessly in love with you but you don’t deserve him. Cause your and I quote ‘a giant bitch’. I don’t think your a bitch just a little clueless.” She laughs more, you don’t find it funny. Overwhelmed with all this new information. Everything starting to make so much sense. Sometimes you wondered if he had feelings for you. You’ve felt them there shortly after meeting Eddie. Constantly pushing them back down in the depths of your mind, trying your best to forget. All you’ve ever known is Jason.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“Do you like Eddie?” She asks. Your lack or response is all the response she needs to know the answer.

“I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut over the years to keep you as a friend but Jason is a piece of shit. You could truly do so much better.” She explains, turning down your street. There’s a few moments of silence until she parks in front of your home.

“I’ll support you no matter what you do. Just know I’m Team Eddie.” She laughs.

“Thanks I think.”

“Plus I think Jeff’s kinda cute. We could like totally go on double dates.”

“Yeah I’m sure he’d love to be around the giant bitch.” Your voice is filled with sarcasm.

“I love the giant bitch. They’ll learn to love her too.”

Rolling your eyes, “I love you too.” You step out of her car, thanking her one last time before she drives off. Leaving you alone with all the new information. Now having to decide what you’re going to do.

��

5th of November

“Quite frankly she’s a bitch.” Jeff says laughing, Garth laughs with him.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything.” Eddie argues, a bit of anger in his tone.

“Whatever if you’re not gonna take our advice. We won’t stop you, let you destroy yourself for a friendship.” Jeff responds. The group’s attention is switched to the faint knock at the door.

“I swear to god if it’s her.” Garth groans annoyed. Eddie stands up from where he’s sat heading to the door. Part of him praying it’s not you, the other part of him always wishing it was you. The opening of the door reveals you, stood there freezing cold in the winter weather. Your nose is runny as the tears have yet to leave your eyes yet. They are there though, brimming your eyelids. Eddie’s confused as to how you got here.

“I’m sorry I just really needed to talk to you. You weren’t answering your phone and I couldn’t wait any longer.” You explain. Eddie’s desperately trying to come up with a solution. If he lets you in he pisses his friends off. If he doesn’t let you in, he misses out on being there for you. He’s always there for you.

“How’d you get here?” He asks, peering around looking for an unfamiliar vehicle that may of dropped you off.

“I walked.” You croak.

“From your house?” He sighs.

“That’s like thirty minutes of walking and in this weather? You’re gonna get sick.” His voice filled with concern.

“Yeah I really wanted to talk to you.”

“The guys are here-“ He’s immediately interrupted.

“Yeah so fuck off.” The voice is familiar, it’s Jeff. He pushed past Eddie to get in your face.

“You’re a shitty friend to Eddie. Always taking. Just leave him already and run along to Jason. Like you always do.” Jeff spits in your face. The tears leave your eyes as you try to scan Eddie’s face for his reaction. He has none, refusing to look at you.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can mange to say, turning around to leave. Starting the walk home. Your dad had left you alone for the night so you snuck into his liquor cabinet, drinking the one you knew he didn’t care for. Trying everything in your power to numb all the feelings you were feeling. The feelings for Eddie that were there and the feelings for Jason that left a long long time ago. Beating your self up for not realizing sooner and putting Eddie through so much. You were so drunk that you thought walking to Eddie’s home to confess your feelings to him was the answer to all your problems. He wasn’t answering your messages or phone calls. The last thing you had expected was to be told to fuck off, you deserved it though. You deserved everything that had come your way.

About 20 minutes into your walk a car pulls up behind you, slowly following you. So you pick up your pace, ready to make a run for it any second. Whoever it is, is yelling your name now. You recognize the voice. Making you cry even harder because even after all you did, here is Eddie trying to give you a ride home.

“Get in my car. You’re gonna get sick.” He pleads.

“I’m fine, Eddie.” The sound of the car shutting off and the car door opening then slamming shut, doesn’t stop you. Only makes you pick up your pace.

“Acting like I won’t walk you all the way home right now.” Eddie huffs, irritated.

“You don’t have to. Please Eddie just go back to your friends. I’ll be fine.” You say, unwilling to look his way. He doesn’t stop though, an uncomfortable silence falls between you two. He keeps walking along with you. No one speaks for another ten minutes. You’re finally home, standing at your front door, your busy trying to find your keys you don’t notice Eddie moving closer.

“Are you drunk?” He ask, he can smell the liquor on you the second he opened the door to you. All you can do is nod, embarrassed by the answer. When you finally muster up the courage to look up at Eddie he’s already looking down at you. The gap between you two is small, your intoxicated self wants nothing more than to kiss him. Unsure of what you should do after the encounter at his trailer.

“I’m sorry for being a giant bitch.” Eddie laughs at your apology.

“You’re not a giant bitch. Where did you get that?” He asks, wondering how much of their conversation you heard before knocking.

“It’s the truth, Eddie. You’re so good to me and I continue running back to Jason.” You can’t believe the words coming out, the liquor in your system may be making you a little braver than usual.

“Your friends were right Eddie. You deserve someone who’s ready to be with you. I’m not ready for anything with anyone. I need to be single for a while. All I’ve ever know is Jason.” You take a moment to catch your breath.

“I walked to your house to tell you how I truly feel about you. Only to hear what your friend had to say about me, he’s right. It’s not fair to you. I’m so sorry.” A uncomfortable silence falls between you two before he takes one last look before leaving you alone, making the sad walk back to his van.

—

April the 7th

It has been five months since you had spoken to Eddie, so much has changed. At first Eddie was extremely bitter, ignoring all your attempts to be his friend still. Soon growing to regret that when he heard through the town gossip that Jason and you had actually broken up for good. You finally found the strength to leave Jason.

It’s hard for Eddie to get by when you’re still on his mind everyday. Hard for him when he sees you all over school, your new found singleness allowing you to be more involved in socializing. Every time he sees you there’s always a brief moment of eye contact, usually you the one to quickly turn away. Does he cross your mind half as much as you cross his? Do you feel the same?

Eddie still wishes he was the one you’d drunk text, stayed up late waiting for a response from. Wondering if things would of ended up differently if he had sent those texts he had drafted so long ago, when he was too afraid to lose you. He’s never been so unsure of himself. At the time Eddie didn’t know if he told you how he felt if he’d lose you. He did nothing and lost you anyways. Thinking that the worse case scenario would be stuck being your friend for the rest of his life, watching you grow older with Jason. This was worse, much worse.

To Eddie’s surprise he’s on track to graduate next month. Wishing that you were around to share in his accomplishment. You had always been Eddie’s biggest supporter. The first time Eddie failed his senior year, you were the only person to not give him shit. Excited if anything because now you two would be seniors together, get another year with Eddie. Helping him study refusing to let him cheat because you knew he had it in him. He often thinks back to the celebration you two had when he past his first test of the year with a C+. You were so proud of him and no one else cared.

“You ready?” Jeff asks, pulling Eddie from his thoughts about you as he’s driving to this stupid party Jeff somehow convinced him to attend.

“Do we really have to go?” Eddie groans, not wanting to participate in this slightest.

“Anybody that’s anybody’s gonna be at this party. You should be grateful I was able to get an invite. We’re aren’t exactly the crowd they want there.” Jeff explains. Eddie doesn’t respond only goes back to driving. The sound of Jeff and Gareth talking fills the silence as Eddie ignores them, attempting to focus on the road.

Pulling down the street where the party is being held and you can tell there’s a party near. Cars parked nearly everywhere, taking up every spot. It takes a few laps before Eddie finds a parking spot somewhat near the house.

“This is gonna be sick.” Gareth exclaims.

“Fuck yeah!” Jeff chimes in, the two running ahead of Eddie leaving him alone to walk in the party by himself. There’s people out front, he says a few hellos before making it inside. The sound of music nearly deafening. He squeezes through the crowd to find the kitchen. Grabbing a beer, cracking it open and taking a small sip. His eyes roam the room wondering why the fuck he’s here. That when he sees Jason Carver who’s zeroing in on Eddie.

“Fuck,” Eddie whispers to him self before slipping out of the kitchen. When he sees the back sliding door opened to the back door he decides to hide out side. Before he can even make it out Jason has his shoulder in his hand pulling him backwards.

“Munson,” Jason says before letting go. When Eddie turns back to face Jason the first thing he notices is the aggressive smell of liquor. Jason is wasted, his eyes droopy and shirt soaking wet with probably beer of some sort.

“What do you want?” Eddie asks.

“I just need to know did you two ever sleep together?” Jason slurs, leaning into Eddie. Eddie only nods his head no.

“Fuck,” Jason whines.

“So she really was faithful?” Jason says, tears starting to fall down his face making Eddie uncomfortable by the entire situation. Eddie nods yes, not wanting to have this conversation.

“I fucked up big time. She hasn’t talked to me since that night she caught me cheating.” Eddie listens, trying to process that you never went back to Jason that night.

“Yeah, you definitely didn’t deserve her.” Eddie says pushing Jason off.

“Doesn’t matter dude not like she wants your either.” Jason spits, anger in his voice.

“Whatever.” Eddie mumbles attempting to leave the conversation.

“You’re a fucking freak. It’s your fault we broke up. I should break you face for that.” Jason yells, his anger growing. Eddie can’t help but laugh because maybe he was a factor in your decision to leave Jason but not the reason. The laughing only infuriates Jason more.

“Honestly just go for it. Give me an excuse to finally fuck you up.” Eddie says taunting Jason, like he’s been waiting for this moment his whole life.

“She’s not worth it.” Jason laughs, attempting to leave the conversation. Those four words ignite a fire in Eddie, an anger he’s never felt before. He reaches for Jason’s shoulder forcing him to face Eddie. Before Jason can react Eddie is throwing the first punch, square in his jaw. Sending Jason stumbling back only momentarily, once he gains his balance he charges at Eddie. Eddie moves fast enough, sending Jason tumbling onto the ground. The sound of Jason hitting the ground, brings everyone attention to the two of them.

“What the fuck, Munson?” One of Jason’s friends yells approaching him. Eddie is distracted so Jason uses that as an opportunity to swing at Eddie. His fist making contact with Eddie’s brow bone. Suddenly theres a whole group of jocks surrounding Eddie ready to step in the second Jason doesn’t have the upper hand. Eddie is in over his head knowing that he needs to make an escape, wondering where the fuck his two friends are.

Everyone at the party attempts to squeeze into the kitchen to get a view of the fight. You were sat outside by the fire pit when people starting freaking about the fight inside the home.

“What’s going on in there?” Someone asks what everyone’s wondering.

“Jason’s fucking up some long haired freak.” A girl laughs causing you to stand up from your seat. Running into the house, squeezing through the crowd. Only to find Jason and Eddie in the center of it all. Jason has a bloody nose, Eddie a black eye forming.

“Stop it.” You yell, your screams muffled by all the commotion. Jason is on top of Eddie about ready to go in for another punch. You can’t let this go on any longer, your demands to stop not getting anywhere. You attempt to push Jason off Eddie, neither of them realizing that your here now. Jason goes to push you away only to elbow you in the face. Wincing in pain causes Jason to look up from Eddie seeing you standing there. He goes to apologize instead you slam all your weight into him. Didn’t take much force to send his drunk self down.

Jason is laid on the floor saying your name and apologizing profusely, wiping the blood from his nose. You pay him no attention, looking down at the man you’ve missed so much.

“Are you okay?” You ask, grabbing his hand to help him up.

“Jason is a dick.” He smiles, referencing the first time the two of you talked.

“That’s something we can agree on.” You laugh, making a stupid joke out of the situation as an attempt to hide what you’re both too afraid to say. You examine Eddie’s face, his forehead has a small gash while a bruise is becoming more visible. You intertwine your fingers with his, leading him to the nearest bathroom. Instructing him to sit on the toilet as you rummage through the drawers. Eventually finding a first aid kit. You get to work cleaning his wound then apply the pinkest girliest bandaid you could find. Eddie’s gaze never leaves you admiring the concentration on your face as you bandage him up. He so desperately wants to say something, literally anything. Too afraid to speak.

“All better.” You smile, admiring your work. Eddie grinning back up at you, words eager to leave his lips but unwilling to do just that. The bathroom door swings open, it’s Sarah. You two break eye contact, looking to her.

“Girl I was looking all over for you. Someone said you body slammed-“ She stop when she realizes what she’s walked in on.

“Oh shit sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay. I’m all done.” You smile to Eddie before awkwardly saying goodbye, following Sarah out of the bathroom. Eddie sits there a few moments after you leave, cursing himself for not doing something that would warrant you staying longer.

You wanted nothing more than things to go back to normal. After that night you messaged him and tried to call him several times, no response. One day at school you had finally gained the courage to approach him only for him to ignore you. Made you realize after your many attempts at still being in Eddies life if it was going to happen it’d have to be on his terms. For a brief moment tonight things felt how they used to only for Sarah to interrupt bringing you back to reality.

“What was that?” Sarah’s asks breaking your train of thought, she’s dragging you outside where it’s much quieter.

“I don’t know.” You whisper, all the feelings you have for Eddie rushing to the top again.

“I heard Jason was beating him up so I ran to find them. Jason was on top of him and I tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen. Jason elbowed me in the face so I said fuck it and slammed into him. Then I ended up in the bathroom with Eddie.” You explain, reaching for your chin it’s sore from the elbowing.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you guys. Maybe you two could of made up if it wasn’t for me.” She sighs, knowing how much you wanted that.

“It’s fine. I just have to accept that I fucked up and if we can ever be together, it’ll have to be one hundred percent on his terms. Can we just go?” You ask, your social battery had run out the second you left that bathroom.

“Yeah we can.” She says, understanding. As your walking through the house, Eddie walks out of the bathroom. He stops in his tracks when he sees you, you half smile before looking away following Sarah out of the party. You hop in her car, she turns the car off and starts the drive to your home.

“I still can’t believe Jason elbowed you.” Sarah huffs, when she finally makes it to you home. The party was about twenty minutes away from your home. The drive filled with silence and low music.

“I can believe it.” You laugh, even though it’s not that funny.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah it doesn’t hurt to bad. More hurt by the fact that Eddie still doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. He actually talked to me for once even it was brief.” You admit.

“Girl maybe he’s too scared or some shit. You should just message him, worst case scenario he doesn’t respond. Then you can move on.” She says so you pull your phone out, pull up the last messages you had sent to Eddie five months ago.

“You do it or I’m gonna do it.” She teases.

“Fuck it.” You say your heart beating faster than it has ever before as you try to come up with the perfect text. Eventually you land on three words, simple and to the point.

You: I miss you

“If he doesn’t respond I will be up all night stressing about it. Thanks for that.” You whine, the stress already starting to get to you. You watch the screen praying for a response. The clock reads 1:37, it’s gonna be a long night.

—

You were correct. It was nearly three am and he had yet to respond. You can’t help but wonder wether or not he has you blocked because it doesn’t even show that he’s read it. Your father was out of town again and nothing sounded better than stealing from his liquor cabinet. Drink your sorrows away. After the last time you did that you promised it would never happen again. It hasn’t happened but tonight was tempting you. Not only have you been single for five months but sober too.

When you heard a rushed knock at the door it startled you, wondering who would be showing up your house so late. Every part of you wishing it was Eddie. Your disappointment was evident when it was Jason.

“What do you want?” You spit.

“You.” He cries, the blood has dried on his face.

“Jason you need to move on, we’re done. We are never ever getting back together.” You respond, trying your best at not laughing at your Taylor Swift reference. A song you had been blasting since the official breakup as a reminder to not forget.

“I’m sorry.” He says, reaching out to you. You push his attempt away before slamming the door shut in his face. The sound of him stomping away is loud only for footsteps to come back towards your door shortly after. There’s another knock at your door, now your mad. You open the door again, angrier this time.

“Leave me the fuck-“ You yell only stopping when you realize it’s no longer Jason at your door, it’s Eddie.

“I’m sorry I thought you were Jason.” You laugh uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Yeah I would of been here sooner. He’s been crying on your porch for almost an hour.” He admits letting out a small laugh.

“You’ve been sitting out here for an hour?” You ask.

“Yeah maybe longer. I don’t know. I got your text earlier and I wanted to do this in person. He really put a damper on my plan.” He explains.

“Do what-?” You ask only to be cut off by his lips being so delicately placed on yours, his hands cupping your face softly. Like your so fragile, he’s afraid to break you. His lips move with yours as you melt into the kiss. Eventually he’s the one to pull away to catch his breath. You’re speechless, can’t begin to form words to express how you feel just the cheesiest grin on your face.

“I hope that way okay. This past five months made me realize I should have done that sooner. I can’t imagine going on any longer without you by my side. For once I was the one you were drunk texting-“ This time your the one to interrupt him.

“I wasn’t drunk. I haven’t drank in months.”

“Oh even better.” He smiles causing you to smile up at him.

“Is it okay if we do that again?” You ask shyly. Eddie nods, kissing you again only this time a lite rougher. More confident in the fact that he’s not gonna break you.

This time your the one to pull away, “I’d invite you in but if I’m being honest I miss our sleep overs at yours.”

“Grab whatever you need and let’s have a sleepover.” He laughs, letting you go. You nod before leaving Eddie outside grabbing a few belongings. When you get back outside he’s waiting for you at his van, he looks so happy watching you walk towards him. You’re the one to close the space between you two, enveloping him in a hug breathing in his smell for the first time in months. You missed this, you missed him.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson pov #eddie x you #munson #eddie the freak munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things #eddie x fem!reader

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broken-clover · 6 months ago

Text

Solaxl Week- Day 4

Haha get befuddled, you assumed I was gonna do hurt/comfort, didn't you? Well, I'm doing something different!...mostly bc I couldn't think of any ideas I hadn't already done before.

It was fun to give these two a slightly different dynamic, because a lot of the gruff op solitary behavior of Sol couldn't happen back when he was a kid, and his knowledge of music and inclination for the sciences indicates that as a young'un he was probably a massive nerd. Axl, meanwhile, seems like he was always a little scrappy brat. Don't need an education to be a delinquent. It's fun having Sol be the one out of his league and awkward for once.

4- Band AU, Hurt/Comfort, Snowball Fight

It didn’t matter how much college prep bit into his schedule, he still wasn’t giving up on band. Frederick refused to give up on one of the few things that still made him happy.

With how studying had begun bleeding into any snippets of free time he had left, some corners still had to be cut. Study hall had been the most recent casualty, following in the footsteps of lunch period. Sure, he still brought food, but as soon as the bell rang, he’d tuck his books under one arm and head for the band storage closet. It had been his routine for a couple months now. He knew how it was supposed to go. Drop his stuff at the door, flick the switch, head for the guitar rack. Maybe a bite or two of lunch could get squeezed in. It depended on how he felt.

Frederick halted, staring. For the first time, he’d arrived in a storage closet that was occupied by more than just inert instruments.

“You can’t be in here.”

“Eh?”

The guy was perched on the chair’s two back legs- his chair, the same one he used every single time. That alone was enough to veer his confusion into annoyance. Frederick didn’t recognize him, but in fairness, it was a big school. The more he looked, the guy looked less and less familiar and more and more greasy.

Perhaps he didn’t want to sit in that chair after all.

“Was just chillin.’” The stranger replied, shrugging.

Frederick shuffled uncomfortably from foot to foot, unsure of what to do with his routine interrupted. “Band isn’t until sixth block, nobody’s supposed to be in here.”

“Yeah? So why’re you, then?”

It felt rather ass-backward to have his own motives questioned, but he chose not to say it, or to start a shouting match. He still had a bit of a reputation for being asocial, but not a total delinquent (in part because if he ever tried that, his parents would never let him live it down)

“I just came down for practice,” he replied. “Are you in study hall? I had all my work finished, so they let me go.”

The other boy snorted. “Heh! Nah, supposed to be in calc. Boo-ring. Hopped out the window, just gonna hang out here until lunch.”

Frederick was definitely sure he hadn’t met this person before. The rough edge to his voice and the thick accent was hard to mistake for someone else.

It suddenly struck him that there were only so many more minutes before the next class started, and he’d already wasted too many talking. Trying to regain some semblance of normalcy, Frederick left his books at the door and dragged a chair off of the pile by the wall. The rhythm of routine almost let him forget the intrusive stranger until he’d sat down again. The guitar’s weight was familiar in his lap, as was the music stand placed before him, but beyond the top of his sheet music, he could still see the guy staring at him with an oddly curved smile.

“Can’t you do that somewhere else? I don’t want someone to walk in and think I’m associated with you.”

“Why not? I’m awesome!”

“You’re a pain.” Frederick strummed the strings and felt along the instrument’s neck to tune one of them. “And I don’t want to get in trouble because of you.”

The other boy leaned forward in his seat, expression halfway between amused and angered. “Bloody hell, are you forreal? You’re one of those guys?”

Frederick paused his tuning. “What do you mean, ‘one of those guys?’”

“One of those little whiny crybabies that gets all bent out of shape just thinkin’ about getting told off. Lemme guess, you’re a straight-A student? Can’t even think about getting anything less than a hundred on everything?”

B-plus, and his parents wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. “M’not taking life criticism from someone who can’t sit through simple math for half an hour. What, does playing delinquent make you feel special?”

“I do it ‘cause I feel like it, you can’t tell me what to do!” Though his voice stayed steady, Frederick could see how the stranger was starting to go red. “And I’m not takin’ this kinda flak from someone who’s probably too much of a teacher’s pet to even swea-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

To his credit, he automatically did, too startled to speak. Frederick kept his scowl for a few moments more, then gave the guitar another strum. It sounded a lot better. He looked back to his sheets and tentatively repeated the first couple of notes…all the while he could still see himself being watched. He sighed in annoyance. “Like I told you already, I don’t want people to think we have anything to do with each other. Can you just hang out somewhere else?”

“Tch.”

Not much of an answer. The proper answer seemed to come in the form of the stranger sliding off his chair and cracking his neck. Instead of heading for the door, though, Frederick watched him approach the instruments. For a moment, he wondered if he’d start smashing things just to cause trouble.

“Well, then we will have something to do with each other, then!” He swiped another guitar off of the next hanger over. The chair he’d just been sitting in was hip-checked over closer to Frederick’s, and sat down far too close for his personal taste. “Whattaya playing? Got a second copy?”

Frederick jerked back. “You trying to breathe down my neck? Dammit, and be careful with that, don’t break anything! Do you know what you’re doing in the slightest?”

“Oh, you shut the fuck up, bloody poindexter.”

Before Frederick could think of sending a jab back, he was interrupted as the stranger started to play. The first few notes were rough, but…he hadn’t seen anyone else in band handle a guitar so carefully. Personal appearances were one thing, but Frederick had enough experience to recognize someone familiar with a guitar. And even if it wasn’t his favorite band, he’d recognize the iconic twangs of Cream’s ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ in his sleep.

He couldn’t hold back an impressed whistle. “Wow. Not bad, dirtbag. Surprised it wasn’t grunge.”

“Grunge’s fine, but I didn’t wanna scare ya~” Though he still had a smugness about him, Frederick could feel a little more warmth in the stranger’s tone. “So whatta you play?”

I like the classics.” He replied with pride. “Queen’s the best.”

“Nice, same boat. Folks tell me I like ‘dad music’ ‘n I tell ‘em their taste’s shit.” Frederick was offered a hand. “Guess you ain’t all bad. ‘m Axl, Axl Low.”

He took what was offered and shook. “Frederick Bulsara.”

Axl started to laugh. “Of course yer name’s Frederick.”

“H-hey, stuff it. I don’t believe for a second ‘Axl’ is your real name, either.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, Freddie. So, you said you came down fer practice, this a hobby?”

Frederick adjusted himself in his chair, settling the guitar across his lap. “Kinda. I like doing it for fun, but band class gives it a little more structure. And I’ve been doing it long enough that Professor Ringo lets me submit songs for us to do. Don’t think I’ve seen you in the orchestra, have I?”

“Don’t do band.” Said Axl. “Don’t like ‘em tellin’ me what to play. But I guess if you’re doing good shit this semester…”

“Yeah, here, lemme show you the stuff I got- “

The moment he tried to reach for his sheet music, the bell began to ring. Frederick looked down at his watch. “Shit, how’s it been that long?! I didn’t even get any practice in!”

Axl snickered, taking both of their guitars and putting them back on the rack. “Careful, Freddie, people are gonna think you’re some kinda delinquent, late for class and using dirty words like that.”

“Oh yeah, you’d know all about that-” He frantically gathered his things, shoving the music stand back with the others. In his haste, he’d forgotten to take the sheet music off first, and the motion sent them flying “Dammit!”

“Got it, I got it,” Axl knelt down and started gathering them up. From his pocket came a cracked pen. Frederick didn’t have a chance to say anything before he’d already started writing something on one of the papers.

“What are you doing? Don’t mess it up!”

“Chill, yeesh.” Once his self-appointed task was finished, Axl handed everything back to its owner. “Just giving you my contact info. Uh, hey, drop me a text later, got it? Dunno how to sign up for classes, maybe you could show me? Or heck, just send me some vids of the stuff you play, I wanna see your technique.”

He spoke too fast for Frederick to keep up. “Huh? What- “

“See ya, mate!”

Though he was still worried about next class, he was too bewildered to do anything but stare at the empty doorway where Axl had just been. Turning over the stack of sheet music, sure enough, there was a string of numbers and under the strange boy’s name.

What a peculiar encounter. He still wasn’t sure what to make of it. Though he did have a softer spot for someone who could appreciate the classics. Maybe it would be worth keeping in contact? When he had a moment between classes, Frederick would try to memorize Axl’s number and put it into his contacts…He’d have to ask why there had been a scratchy heart scribbled next to it, anyway…

#frog writes #guilty gear #sol badguy #axl low #solaxl #solaxl week 2024

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my-castles-crumbling · 18 days ago

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hi cas career advice anon again

so a few days i slowly started bringing up the fact that i didn't really like the stem subjects with my mom and she just went "Do humanities study history and geography in 11 and 12 or maybe you can even study *my second language*" in like a dismissive type of joking way bc somehow it's turned into a running joke in my family about how i constantly get better marks in non stem subjects and how i should just go study them instead (derogatorily) and yeah i had plans to do stem and had those plans for a majority of my life but my parents treat humanities as just history and geography and therefore pretty useless. like i get that in our country, you're more likely to be better off if you take stem and probably even in the world in general but law is still pretty respectable and even if it wasn't law, but something else that was non stem, it shouldn't have been like such a big deal. i mean i could probably do well if i genuinely tried but i don't even like the stem subjects anymore so it's pointless. i just need to make it through next year and i can completely turn my back on it. i want to tell my parents by the end of 9th grade so they have some time to readjust their views by the time our subject selection for 11th grade happens. except judging by their reactions, i don't know how they'll take it. i don't think it'll be easy but i have to give them that time, especially if i need to convince them. also our school operates through a system of four electives besides our compulsory language classes from 11th grade and legal studies happens to be in the same bracket as physics so i'm keeping my fingers crossed about being able to take legal studies instead of physics.

i told my parents today. they have been going on about how i'm so unmotivated to study physics (they didn't know so yeah) and if my career goals had changed i should just tell them, so i did to get them off my back. they were understandably shocked bc who wouldn't be when they found out that their daughter had changed her mind about her career in two weeks after wanting to do something for practically her entire life. my mom wants (very badly) for me to continue with science after 10th grade and prepare for the law entrance exam on the side but my dad says he's fine with me leaving science for law of i'm absolutely sure about taking it bc science is very intensive in our country after 10th grade so it doesn't make sense for me to take it, not do well, and fuck up all my future prospects. my mom thinks i'm getting scared of science bc they're concerned about me not doing well recently and see, i'm kinda scared bc i'm concerned but that's not the only reason. my dad also wants me to go to a trial and see what the system in our country is like just in case i don't get to go abroad and have to work here before i make my decision, which is fair, considering that my country sucks in most aspects. however, my mom. that's a different matter altogether bc she says that she doesn't care if i want to do something other than science but she's of the very strong opinion that i should still continue with science until i graduate high school. she's like, "but you understand physics and you're smart your grades are just low because you don't practice." like, i don't practice because i find it boring and procrastinate because of that. my dad agreed with her because he's been teaching me physics for a month now after my practically failed midterm. i get that they're concerned about what could happen if i didn't like legal studies after i took it bc i can't retake science if i leave it once right? one of my friends left it and now she hates the subject she took instead of it. both she and my parents are concerned because what if that happens to me too, but see, even if i don't like it, i'd still be good at it because it plays to my strengths. that's the difference between legal studies and physics. and i made the rookie mistake of bringing up what one of my friends who's friends with a lot of seniors said about science being intensive. my parents said that i should think it over carefully and that this discussion is being tabled for when the decision has to be made, something which i want to avoid because then i won't have a lot of time to convince them. also, a legit conversation i had with my mom today:

mom: i always thought you were smart but now i'm rethinking it

me: why because i want to leave science?

mom: no because you're being too influenced by your friends (all my friends plan on leaving science or have already left it)

me: no i'm leaving science because i want to, not because of anything they said

mom: *my friend* said that science is intensive in 11 and 12 and you're basing your decision off that

me: she's friends with seniors and it honestly is

mom: yeah but millions of people take it every year and give the *engineering entrance exam*

me (in my native language): will you continue this until i take science or what

then she got mad and left. see, i'm just genuinely done with physics and without it, i can't take any of the stem field entrance exams. i always liked law, but since i wanted to go abroad and move around, i was concerned about retaking the bar every time, but now that i'm older and have actually researched it, i think it would suit me well. i get that my parents want me to keep my options open for the future and focus on the GCSE equivalents that i have next year, but i'm getting very frustrated especially because they keep saying that i understand physics well so they don't see why i want to drop it, especially my mom, and while i know that they only want what they think is the best for me, i'd genuinely appreciate it if they respected my decision and stopped asking me to reconsider it carefully. this was one of the major reasons as to why i didn't want to tell them, because while they've not explicitly said that they're against me dropping science, but they've made it very clear that i should continue to take it and how legal studies won't be easier either but like, my life, my choice except they don't seem to get it and they're getting on my nerves rn.

i'm sorry ik it's like way too long but i kinda just needed to rant

Hi!

You're always welcome to rant <3

It sounds like your dad is being a bit more reasonable than your mom? I would try to talk with him more, to be honest. Continue sharing your feelings and see if he can kind of come over to your side. Having an adult ally is always nice. Also, I think it's a great idea to see some real trials and stuff if you can! I know your dad might be wanting you to do it to 'be sure' but from an experience perspective, that's a really cool thing to talk about in future interviews.

I'm proud of you for sticking to your decision and doing what YOU want. Remember, even if you change your mind later, do it for YOU. Its your life, not anyone else's.

#ask #asks #ask cas #career advice anon

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 1 month ago

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ILL GO OVER IT VAGUELY CUZ ITS A LOT AND IM TOO LAZY

AHEM

to start off, even though i did i say i planned on cutting them off, it felt like they were genuine when they apologized cuz they didnt act that way, maybe its bc i didnt hang out w them much after that cuz it was summer but basically i changed my mind)

so b4 i explain why, you need background info. basically like in march (b4 i confronted them in june) friend b came up to me like idk in march and said they had a secret but wont tell me but she said she'll tell at the end of the school year, then when i asked she tried to gaslit me into thinking it never happened.... 🥰 i forgot abt it thinking it was no big deal (like wtf is this kindergarten or smth...)

ANYWAY FASTFORWARD TO LIKE LAST WEEK

we're in highschool now and i have gym with friend a, and SHE brought it up, i asked her she said she cant tell me w/o friend b givng her permission. and i was kinda pissed cuz why bring it up if ur not gonna tell me???? also whats such a big deal that you wont tell me 🤨 but i didnt rlly say anything mean but i kept asking cuz i rlly wanted to know.

but she brought it up AGAIN the next day during lunch (she was also acting kinda distant from that day at gym)

so that afternoon i called my other friend (who hangs out w us at lunch)and my bestie and told them whats happening cuz i wanted to know if i was being dramatic by wanting to know (they were aware of what happened in june btw).

anyway with them on call i asked both of the seperately but they kept acting dumb, then in the gc i told them i was being serious and asked them, Then i got mad at them cuz they weren't taking me seriously :3

and i lashed out on them and told them i were gonna cut them off if they were gonna keep acting like kindergarteners and lie to me

they still didnt take me seriously, but my friend did end up telling me (like after 30 mins of me asking them again and again)

and basically they were (or more like only of them but the other one knew and didnt tell me) impersonating a guy on snap that i was talking to, (only as a friend tho, i started talking to "him" bc my friend who was impersonating him introduced us ) this rlly just was like my wake up moment and i was like no fuck you im done

OH AND back when we started talking to "him" i came up with a theory that it was my friend but my other friend told her and she kinda like cussed me out saying i was stupid for thinking that.....

anyway they thought i was threatening them by saying i was gonna cut them off for some reason but i left our gc and a few other ones. and my friend kept messaging in the other gc's saying "you forgot this one" and stuff and kept joking around

(also friend A asked abt a gift friend b gave me for my birthday asking what i was gonna do with it, and i said ill give it back idc but thats such a cheap thing to say when i cut them off)

ANYWAY the next day i wanted to give back the hoodie but i didnt rlly wanna talk to her, so i gave it to my friend who had a class with her.. and after school one of my other friends (who was on call w me) was going to a crochet club with her after school and told her that she wanted to talk to me cuz she didnt know why she was getting dropped. she also said that she got angry when my friend gave her the hoodie instead of me cuz she wanted to talk to me......she couldve came up to me during lunch or gym but she didnt?? but like wtv ��

THEN i texted her cuz i thought it wouldnt be fair if i didnt explain told her my reasons (kind of argued?? idk)

but i made it clear that i was NOT interested in giving 3rd chances and she said okay (ngl they were making stupid excuses too but still apologized....felt fake af tho)

sighhh but yeah basically what happened...nothing much 🥰 totally wasnt sobbing when it all went down

ANYWHOOOOO imlovingthenewsmau sedfghjkl.

P.S can i be added to ur taglisttt

🐺⛓️🥀

THE FUCK ?1??1?1

the catfishing is actually crazy but coincidentally one of my friends also catfished me in middle school… well tried to i knew it was her immediately😍 BUT that being the secret that they were keeping from u or whatever is so fucked up?? especially when they were so omg teheee we’re not going to tell u stop askingggg (but then kept bringing it up like they were having fun watching u want to know so badly??? i almost said smth real mean whew) anyway they’re just acting stupid by “not knowing” y u dropped them and im very glad u did!!! bc u do not deserve that nor need that in ur life 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ especially not when ur just starting highschool so !!! proud of u !!!

and yes u can b added to the taglist :3

#axel answers ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

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honeysuckle-venom · 10 months ago

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I'd be interested to hear how you found DBT harmful, if you'd like to talk about it....?

I remember all the mindfulness experiences and the ACCEPTS acronym feeling really frustrating + difficult + antagonistic, but for me at the time, learning about trauma therapy and actual physiological coping skills were overall helpful enough that I kept doing it

(Not trying to talk over your experience of it being *not* helpful for you! Just sharing what my experience was :)

Hi Anni! Thank you so much for this excellent question, I'm excited to answer this! I'm glad you mostly had a positive experience with DBT! To be fair, there are some elements of it that did help me, but overall and in the long term I think the effect for me was primarily negative. Some of that also has to do with how I was taught/the therapists involved and not exclusively the philosophy or therapy itself, but some of it is the philosophy/therapy itself. My answer is going to get very long, so I'm putting it below the cut.

Some background: When I was 15, I had a severe psychotic break/my schizophrenia fully manifested. Because it wasn't a super typical presentation (no prodromal phase, I didn't hear voices, most of my initial symptoms were disorganized and catatonic) no one really caught what it was. Instead it was just treated as a "nervous breakdown" due to stress at home/school and severe anxiety and depression. Because I was a teenage girl and engaging in self harming behaviors and expressing suicidality, borderline was also considered/something my mom's psychiatrist thought I had (this was 2012 and BPD was a popular diagnosis at the time).

I had already been in talk therapy for several years at that point, and my parents basically figured "well clearly that's not working bc look how badly she's doing." (Which was incorrect but that's a topic for a different post.) So they looked for other options, and found DBT. I started seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in DBT, and we also joined a group family therapy DBT program in which a few families learn DBT skills together and do a little bit of family therapy with them, which...bizarre structure to have multiple families in one room in therapy but okay. My initial reaction was "I hate this" but it wasn't that big a deal. I filled out diary cards, I learned about dialectics (a concept I actually kind of liked initially), I tried and failed to practice radical acceptance, I practiced using DEAR MAN to express myself in family group, etc. It wasn't really helping me much, but it wasn't hurting much either. I did like some of the distress tolerance skills. I did not like family issues being aired out in front of strangers. I found the mindfulness skills and breathing exercises quite difficult and sometimes triggering re: dissociation, but then I just kind of stopped doing those so much. It was overall a neutral experience. It was something I learned about a few times a week and at home I sometimes did distress tolerance skills and filled out my diary cards, but besides that I wasn't like...super in the DBT Lifestyle TM.

I slowly started to do better (not bc of the DBT) and eventually when I was 16 I went back to school. But I wasn't stable enough to handle it and after about a month and a half I became so unwell I had to be hospitalized again. First I did 3 weeks at a standard (though abusive) teen inpatient unit. After that I wasn't well enough to go home, and my parents got my rich aunt and uncle to help pay for me to go to a very expensive teen month long DBT intensive partial hospitalization program (basically inpatient with slightly fewer restrictions) at a place called Silver Hill. At Silver Hill I ate, breathed, and slept DBT. It was constant. The whole program is about really internalizing DBT stuff and just constantly using the skills.

That program was not good for me, on a number of levels. There were four main problems with it. The first was that the program placed a lot of emphasis on interpersonal relationships, which meant getting along with the other kids there. I was not very good at that, and in fact one time the psychiatrist spoke to me privately to tell me that I was "too weird" and it bothered the other kids. Like...sorry??? Whenever I messed up socially, I would have to fill out these worksheets with what I did/said wrong, what the response was, and what I should do differently next time. This was very bad for my self esteem and also wasn't the fucking point? I was there bc I wanted to kill myself not bc I'm awkward. It would have been one thing if I had been intentionally saying offensive things or something, but I was just made to do these whenever I was too strange, which...sucked. Very reminiscent of abusive autism treatment tbh. That's more on the specific people at this program than on DBT as a practice, but it did influence my view of DBT.

The next problem was the core dialectic that they always introduce you to: "I am doing the best I can, and I can do better" (also, and even more damagingly, phrased as "I am doing the best I can and I need to do better/try harder"). I heard this phrase dozens and dozens of times over the course of that month, and it was really damaging to me. I understand what it's saying, I understand what it's getting at, I don't need someone to explain how dialectics work to me. But I was 16 and drowning and had been pushing myself my whole life, and that phrase implies that what you are doing is NEVER enough. You can always be doing better. Even if you're doing your absolute best, you need to try harder. That mindset was so toxic and dangerous for me at that time, and it really hurt me. I had been abused, I had never felt good enough, I had always tried desperately to do my best in impossible situations, and now I was being told my best would never be enough, there was never a point I could reach where I could rest. "No matter how hard you work you have to work harder" is what that sounded like to 16 year old me. That was really bad for me.

The third problem was that I was doing DBT and DBT only. There was no trauma therapy. I wasn't doing it in conjunction with trauma work, I was just doing DBT. Everything was focused on specific immediate behaviors. There was very little room to talk about how past experiences played a role/affected me, and indeed it often seemed as though the therapists thought I was just using those as excuses for why I wasn't properly applying DBT skills. Over my month there I did learn and internalize some useful coping skills that helped me to, for example, avoid immediately going to self harm. But that should be the first step. It shouldn't be treated like that's the end of the road, once you've stopped the Bad Behaviors you're Cured. Sure, this was a specific inpatient program, and in depth trauma work wasn't the point. But they didn't even act like you should EVER do that kind of work/like when you left you should look into examining the deeper issues while continuing to apply skills. Everything was skill based, and so there was no actual chance to recover from anything on a deeper level. I could stop hurting myself but DBT was never going to teach me how to stop hurting. All behavioral therapies, imo, only address the surface level (behaviors and sometimes thoughts). In order to truly recover I needed to go much deeper than that.

Finally, although DBT is a potential treatment for schizophrenia according to the internet, I found it interacted with my schizophrenia in some negative ways. The core of DBT is dialectics, accepting that two (often seemingly contradictory) things can be true at the same time. I never had a problem with that, and did not need DBT to teach me that. I've never struggled much with black and white thinking. In fact, I had something of the opposite problem. At the core of my psychosis is a struggle with boundaries, particularly between the self and other and between fantasy and reality. My mom, with whom I was deeply enmeshed, lied and exaggerated frequently throughout my childhood, often about inconsequential things. I learned very early on how to hold multiple "true" views of reality; I had to, to survive in my household. It was kind of like doublethink, if you've read 1984? Here's the quote from 1984 about it: "To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, [....] to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself—that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word—doublethink—involved the use of doublethink." That's what my childhood felt like. I think elements of that are inherent to DID actually. Dissociation and psychosis worked together to make me excel at doublethink growing up.

And then I was told that the way to cure myself of my mental illness was to...do that exact thing? Hold multiple conflicting truths at the same time? Okay! I knew how to do that! But for me that wasn't a radical new way to view the world and avoid black and white thinking, it was a reinforcement of an unhealthy blurring of boundaries and lack of confidence in reality. A much, much more important thing for me in my recovery was slowly learning to actually trust my own thoughts and my own version of the truth over what someone else told me, to learn to have boundaries and a more stable sense of self and to trust my own memories and internal truths. Although DBT isn't meant to confuse people or blur their boundaries or make them struggle with the truth, because I came into it already in that place with a lifetime of gaslighting and dissociation and psychosis (and because I wasn't aware of my dissociation or psychosis enough to keep them in mind while doing this), dialectics were actually ultimately the opposite of helpful for me most of the time.

So yeah! Those are the big reasons why I don't like DBT. Also I find all the acronyms annoying lol. But really it just wasn't the right treatment for me and my situation, especially at the time.

#answers #about me #this was so fun and interesting to answer #dbt my beloathed #psychodynamic talk therapy my beloved <3

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seneon · 3 months ago

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ok so basically 10th grade i started kind of talking to this guy we’ll call j. we started talking in like september (beginning of the school year) and it was honestly mostly just sending snaps back and forth and occasionally complimenting one another

and that continued until like january ish?? and then he stopped talking to me, unfollowed me on insta, unadded me on snap, yk the works

and then around march he followed me on insta again and eventually unfollowed me again

and then in june i think, his friend got my snap from my friend bc he thought i was cute (i don’t know for sure if this has an impact but i like to think it does). and basically he followed me on insta, liked my highlights, most recent post, SWIPED UP on my highlight, added me back on snap, etc

and we were snapping like we were and he asked to hangout some weekend, but he never actually planned it out at all 💀💀 and so i was like you wanna js meet up at the fair?? and he didn’t go

and then he asked “so like are we ever gonna hang out” and i unadded him w/o actually opening the text. BUT WAIT FOR ME EXPLANATION ALR

basically i’ve never really liked him 💀💀 like he’s alr looks wise but i could never date someone with his personality. and also it doesn’t help his friend is my PERFECT TYPE (u would like him he basically looks like L from death note)

so if i did end up dating him id be wanting his friend the whole time and not vibing w his personality yk

and also i’m pretty sure he js wants to fuck

ANYWAYS basically i’ve had him unadded for a few weeks now and i go on my tiktok today to see HE VIEWED ME PROFILE?? and i never gave him my tiktok and idk how he got it

but yeah 🙂‍↕️

damn this long as hell

ewww men

#sorry that's all i could say #men who only wanna fuck around ewww #middle fingers to the boys ig #★ elle #⋆ ❨ sennies ❩ ֢֢֢ ۟

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crazylittlejester · 6 months ago

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Time-Master Sword anon

Also Nate grey is referred to as Silly Boy here

ok so disclaimer I haven’t read all of his comics yet (THERES 75 😭) but if I may I would like to rant to you abt this silly little goober with images I stole off the internet 😍/j

Ok so the comic starts out with the little guy coming out of his little fucking test tube 😍 and bro comes out and is confronted with Mr. Sinister which ima call Mr.Silly bc I’m not spelling that out. And bro just takes his hand is like your all good but then notices he’s shivering and gives him (what he calls) “A sensory weave 🤓🤓👆👆” It’s fucking clothes btw anyways it looks like this

Nate grey a Pkmn fan confirmed 🤨🤨🤨.

anyways Mr. Silly is a fucking Narc and names him after himself (Mr sillies real name is Nathaniel Essex) and then gets a call from an evil Hank McCoy who is literally a grey beast but whatever

Anyways silly boy wanders around the orphanage/school/church whatever (ok a bit of context for his powers bro is like as strong as the Phoenix force at base level and um he can also like feel the leftover emotions of an object that someone last touched there’s a lot more as well but I’m lazy 😍) So he goes into a classroom that his dad (bio) was last in when he was younger and Mr Silly notices hes missing and gets really fucking pissed anyways Mr silly find him in the cafeteria after he’s abt to blow the place up and silly boy just says

And takes him back to the lab where Mr silly is like “Our world is fucking fucked”and shows him images of the outside world and then goes “this is why you can’t leave” but silly boy sees some mutants abt to get imprisoned and teleports their astral plane selves over there and stops one of the faires momentarily from taking this girls aunt before the teleported back (Mr silly installed a fail safe just in case silly boy did that) and silly boy is like “wtf dude I was just abt to help them 👹👹” And Mr silly is like “HE CAN THINK FOR HIMSELF!!????” But dw guys he gets Silly boy a fucking teddy bear (which is a really wholesome moment) and all is well

(IM SORRY FOR THE PHOTO DUML BUT LOOK AT HIM HES SMILING!!!) (also eyelash routine drop when little bro)

Anyways Mr silly is Like “Get in ur fucking bath so you can get older in a few weeks”

And then he says good night to Nathan and Nathan being the silly boy who has already developed his powers at like what? 6? Says goodnight to him in his head

Anyways I’ll rant abt him again but this is just the first comic 😍😍 also don’t be fooled Mr silly is terrible father 0/10

also take this shitty picture I drew bc it makes me laugh

sorry it took so long i wanted to make sure i actually had the time to read this

CALLIN HIM MR SILLY TOOK ME OUT, GOOD LORD ALSKKDKD

i love that he gets him a bear

THE ART AT THE END KILLED ME ALDKDKS

#jes talks #jes ask

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chenyann · 2 years ago

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Rating my cutie mooties♡

Mainly bc I didn't have the best day and yall were here and making me giggle/feel better🤭

kinda like mutual appreciation week(?) Also be aware I'm not the best at expressing things so if it comes off as rude/uncaring or bland I'm so sorry!! (this isn't in any order so don't think if someone is on top that means I like them better also if you were not added that is because we don't really interact with each other much and I'm too shy to start doing it now-)

@pandoa 1 or 100/10

You make weord edits of me, also that butter chicken photo you sent me won't be forgotten but, you are one of my first and beloved mutuals. I giggle, smile, twirl my hair or preparing for seeing what you've said or liked whenever you interact with me. Seeing you so randomly or you saying the most strange things brings me so much joy. You've created an icon (yakonigiri) who I'm actually preparing to bring back soon, the days yakonigiri roamed around were some of the best days (imo) and the days that we would have chats are also held close to my heart. I will love to make some more amazing memories with you as my mutual.

@puminari 8/10

It was originally 10/10 until I remembered these:

but other than that you are an amazing person, you're more on the newer side of mutuals but that doesn't matter. Seeing you in my notifications is always such a treat and I get happy knowing that you posted something. You're very funny and interacting with you is always a fun thing!(i also hope school is going good for you)

@cherrys-sweetness 15/10

I was too shy to really interact with you at first but then I got comfortable, tbh you were kinda intimidating to me when we first became moots💀 but I've came to find that it was all in my head– you're literally so sweet and funny, you also have a heart filled with gold I'm my eyes.As sweet as a cherry, as bright as the sun and as beautiful as the moon. You're a wonderful person cherry :)

@trplas 100/10

I just love you/p, you're a very sweet person and I love talking to you. When we first became moots I didn't expect us to bond this much ngl💀 but with that I feel like I grow grey hairs everytime you tell me you're injured or ill. (I won't say much bc I'll end up writing essays)

@merotwst 9/10

I'm not gonna lie, you're kinda scary. But I know you're harmless (kinda) your love for Jamil is so inspiring 💖💖 also your art is very yumyum, seeing that you posted I get excited bc of your delectable writing skills too. I enjoy talking to you (and how ur on Jamil crack but that's not the point) I was kinda panicking when you followed me but I'm glad that i was scared for nothing!

@a-hollow-angel 9/10

why won't you let me eat ur things??? Your art is yum, ur photos are yum, your theme is yum. Everything about your blog is yum and I don't find it fair that I can't eat it. You're the most sweetest person on tumblr and I will stand by this statement til I quit tumblr. -1 bc you won't let me eat ur stuff :(

@kalims 10/10

Bro we don't talk as much, but ur so amazing. Like hello ur so sweet?????? Also all ur themes are so cute 🤩 (the Luke one was the cutest imo) not gonna lie you were also very intimidating to me but that okay💀 again you're very sweet and another one with a heart of gold♡

@achy-boo 7/10

Please sleep at appropriate times😭😭😭😭 you're one of the few mutuals who I think would beat me in a fist fight. Again you're more on the intimidating side of my mutuals, but other than that you're very cool! -3 bc of the horrible sleep schedule and the fact you grinkled me.

@italoniponic 10/10

You're very sweet, you're funny, you're themes are always cute and you are over-all an amazin person to talk to! Personally you are one of the most big brained mutuals I got, all your ideas just... there are not words to explain them, the way you think is just beautiful no words can begin to describe it. That's how amazing you and your ideas are.

@moxxbox 10/10

Moxxie 😗😗😗😝😝😝😝 can we talk about ur headers, THEY ARE SO SO CUTE!!!! I fr flew to the sky when I saw them😼 but that's not what I'm here to talk about, you are really nice and very cool. I dont remember when we became moots but I'm glad we did :) chatting with you is always something i enjoy [ Also I haven't spoken to you in awhile bc i keep forgetting 😭]

@arent-i-the-fairest 10/10

I also think you can beat me in a fist fight lu, ur writing is so yum, ur theme is also yum. I hope you're doing okay and that you've been taking care of yourself. I'm glad we are moots bc I know later gonna lurk in ur inbox- you are very very nice and very fun to be around 😗✌

@rggie 15/10

Mal I hope you're doing okay😭😭 bc past time we spoke you were a little sick, but i hope that whatever you're doing you're having fun and being you. When I first interacted with ur account you were so sweet and fun to be around. Yoire themes were so beautiful and your writing was even better, I hope you're doing well.

(That's all💀 I have more mutuals but I feel like I'd be bothering them or I'm just scared to talk to them.)

If you haven't already followed some of these amazing accounts I'd recommend them ♡

#Love yall<33333 #Also I'm mad sick rn #My heater caught fire last night so it's cold I here and need to get another #Luckily we are all okay we just have to scrub the walls #Also I'm watching 'A love so beautiful' guys this shit has me crying #I'm such a cry baby #They could fr be saying hello and I'm already in tears #And I broke my glasses 💀💀💀#I fell Asleep with them on😛😛😭😭😭#☕|° chats

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eemcintyre · 9 months ago

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Lowermost (Steff McKay)

TW- period and character-appropriate but very much not good attitudes; drug and alcohol abuse, references to SA, use of the f-slur, brief and not-graphic mentions of blood. There's also a fair amount of black comedy.

Summary- After the disastrous events of his senior year of high school, Steff finds himself totally alone and lost. Struggling to make his way through college, he has a breakdown during a party that is private until another troubled partygoer intrudes.

Yeah that's right I changed his last name slightly bc I just think McKee is such a fkin stupid name and it doesn't fit him and this is my world here and y'all are just living in it. Anyway, not to be so dramatic lol; I hope you enjoy the first part to this very random tale for a very random character and actor that I adore- I've had an idea similar to this for a long time. Also I envision the main girl as Elisabeth Shue in all of her 80s glory.

Some say that high school is the best time of your life, and up until the very end, Steff McKay would have agreed.

Right up until a couple of weeks before the end of senior year, when everything he had built for himself imploded. His untouchably cool, do-not-fuck-with-me reputation. Any chance with the girl who’d kept him up at night for over a year and whom he pictured fucking the shit out of instead of whoever else was underneath him. The only real friendship he’d ever had. Those two, the girl and the friend, had left the prom together, and as far as he knew, they could be engaged or married by now- but, more than likely, they’d broken up days later. Steff couldn’t help an anemic smirk at the thought. It was a small satisfaction, but a satisfaction nonetheless, and he was taking that anywhere he could get it right now.

The first year at Stanford had not gone well. By bribing a few classmates, he’d barely been able to scrape by and keep his parents, far away back in Illinois, none the wiser, but he knew that this strategy wouldn’t prove sustainable over the course of three more years.

No longer having any concrete idea of who he was or was supposed to become, Steff filled the vacuum with an already familiar coping mechanism- copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. But what had been, for the most part, a party indulgence and a way to take the edge off in high school, had morphed into full-blown, constant dependency. He needed them to get out of bed in the morning, to recover from the first half of the day and prepare for the second, and then to either kick back and close the day out or keep himself going long into the night. The partying habit hadn’t died out with graduation.

The particular rager taking place this evening was the end-of-summer/start-of-semester bash to inaugurate sophomore year amongst his social group. But, for Steff, it was hardly a celebration. After bidding his cursory hellos over the sonic blast of Depeche Mode, he lingered by the beverage table, downing enough to make some belligerent remarks to anyone who dared ask questions and still barely be able to slink away to a frat house bathroom.

Stumbling through the doorway, and not even bothering to lock the door, he dry-heaved over the toilet for a few minutes before crawling to the sink to splash the sweat off of his face. His reflection was pale-green and shiny under the frigid, blue-white light over the fingerprint-smeared mirror. Positively feral. He was a god amongst men and a dying star.

Some nights, even with all the tolerance he’d built, the alcohol still just hit him wrong. Rather than grant the brief, freeing apathy and oblivion that he craved, sometimes it had the opposite effect of bringing the memories, pressures, and fears even closer to closing in on him. And the latter was occurring with greater frequency all the time.

Just when Steff thought he’d fallen to the lowest level of emptiness that he would reach that evening, the bottom dropped out again and he could feel it in his stomach. One hand white-knuckling the counter, he reached up with the other to yank at his hair- sunny blond, always perfectly coiffed- like he wanted to rip a chunk out. And he almost did. His hand flew down to his starched white shirt, shaking fingers fisting in it as he glared at himself in the mirror, Depeche Mode still intruding obnoxiously on the moment in the background.

Steff was not a crier. Crying was for girls and fucking faggots and for the privacy of a man’s own home, only if one’s close relative had died or something. But something about the revolting sight of himself in that almost equally as disgusting bathroom made his emotions boil over into a couple of small, hot, stinging tears. It was rage, it was terror, it was a sickening, endless merry-go-round that he couldn’t get off, it was floating and free-falling in utter directionless-ness…

Without thinking, like it was an instinctive response to a threatening stimulus, he slung his fist at the mirror, hoping it would shatter. Reeling back in pain, he was absolutely shocked and devastated to see that he’d merely managed to cause a small crack.

“God fucking damn it!” He roared through his teeth, trying to shake off the pain that smarted across his knuckles.

As he stood doubled-over in pain and indignity, the door to the bathroom swung open, snatching away the one small barrier between him and the blaring sounds of the party and revealing a girl. Wavy, dirty-blonde hair, freckles and patches of pink-red punctuating her round and otherwise pale face. What could have otherwise been a normal, even appealing outfit of shorts and a cable knit, was rumpled and hung askew from one of her shoulders.

At first, Steff thought she just didn’t know how to dress and apply makeup, but as they stared at each other in surprise, neither one expecting to find the other, he realized that the color on her face was a discomforted flush rather than poorly-applied powder. She began hastily pulling her top back over her shoulder and smoothed her hair as the initial shock wore off of them both.

“Excuse me?” Steff prompted, in a tone that he hoped would make his annoyance evident. He tried to surreptitiously wipe his face and steady his breathing. Nothing was amiss here.

“Sorry,” she replied vacantly, catching sight of the mirror and stepping toward it. He detected a slight limp. Finally, he noticed that one of her knees was scratched and bloodied. She looked like she’d just escaped a brawl. Taking in her disheveled appearance, tracing her fingers across her bleeding knee, she winced.

“Excuse me,” he repeated even more pointedly, crossing his arms. “Do you mind? This isn’t a social gathering place.”

The girl slowly appeared to register what he was saying; she acted as if she were trying to contact him from an entirely different world.

“You’re bleeding,” she murmured, concern flickering in her eyes, one of which showed smeared mascara.

His gaze snapping down to his knuckles, confirming what she said to be true, Steff defensively turned himself so that the hand with the wound was hidden behind his body.

“So are you,” he snapped in an admittedly weak comeback. “Don’t you even know how to knock? The hell are you doing in here? Get out!” he bellowed, and her posture shrunk, though she continued to study herself in the mirror.

Making eye contact with him via the reflective surface, she murmured “The door was unlocked. I’m sorry, I just need a minute… This, um, hasn’t been a very fun party.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he retorted as she began to wash the smeared makeup off her face, still very much in the room and not getting the fuck out for some reason. “You know, you look like you just crawled out of a storm drain.”

Taking some of the faucet water from her cupped hand to her mouth, she aggressively swished and rinsed it, spitting repeatedly into the sink like she was trying to wash out a bad taste.

“I look like I just almost got assaulted,” she corrected him bitterly, “Which would be true.” She dried her hands and lips with the worn towel by the basin, clenching her jaw like she was about to cry before sucking in a deep breath and nodding almost imperceptibly at how she’d put her appearance back together. “Should have known there’s only one reason I would get invited to a party like this.”

“I’m not here to play unpaid therapist…” Steff muttered, and her shoulders sagged in frustration.

“Look, I said I’m sorry for disturbing you, but since, obviously, neither one of us wants to be at this party and we’re both clearly going through something, can’t we share?” She gestured to the room around them. “We don’t have to talk. I just need a minute…”

“You’ve had a minute; you’ve had several minutes- go think about sucking frat boy cock somewhere else!”

Her mouth fell open in utter disgust, and finally one of the tears that she’d kept from falling thus far tumbled down her cheek. Out of so many retorts she wanted to spit at him, all that she could manage in her fragile state was a “Fuck you!” before storming out of the dingy little room and back out into the chaos of the party.

“Close the damn door!” he shouted after her, slamming it as hard as he could and propping himself against it as he sunk to the tile floor, nursing his bloodied hand.

#james spader #steff from pretty in pink #pretty in pink #creative writing #enemies to lovers

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