#to be fair I was a disaster at 30
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so-i-did-this-thing · 6 days ago
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All Creatures Great & Small was one of my comfort book series long before I watched either TV show, but I somehow forgot that Siegfried is only 30 in the first book. I'm a few chapters into a re-read and am just thinking, no wonder he is a complete disaster who gave this child an entire practice.
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ebongawk · 5 months ago
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#personal#ebongawk personal#rant#literally just need to write this down or I’m gonna explode#but my brother got like actually upset with me earlier tonight over something that happened when I was 19#so 11 years ago#bc he gave me his ‘85 beater of a car#(my name was on the title!)#and a lady hit me and it got totaled out#so I gave him half the money thinking well that’s fair bc it’s my car but he did give it to me#and he’s just been harboring all of this anger about it all these years#because I guess that was in fact *his* car#it’s so fucking stupid#and he kept talking about his *generosity*#I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that bothered me so much until I was driving home#and I realized that#no matter what I said or how I tried to defend myself#he kept implying that my generosity was less significant than his because it wasn’t monetary#despite the fact that I clean his fucking house#and have put so much goddamn money into making it feel like a home#never mind the state of this place when I moved in before I painted and deep cleaned#oh and don’t even fucking mention the *months* of my time I have spent watching his dog *for free* while he was globetrotting#but no#a car that totaled out 11 years ago because of an accident that *wasn’t my fault* makes him the epitome of generosity#gods I’m so mad#I spent my entire goddamn afternoon cleaning my sister’s disaster of an apartment so she hopefully gets some of her deposit back#and then I get reprimanded for something that happened when I was fucking 19#Jesus I’m so tired#this is all such petty bullshit too like we are over 30#fuck
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greatwillhunting · 7 months ago
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30 page play due midnight tomorrow guys am i cooked
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midnight-mourning · 2 months ago
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Pun War. (Sun x reader Drabble)
Requested By: @starspindle
Word Count: 498
Summary: You and Sun find yourselves in a heated battle fit only for the cleverest of jesters, but all's fun in jokes and war until one of you makes a slip up that might be a step too far. Or is it?
Note: This was very fun! It put my pun skills to the test. It also proves that yes, I CAN write fluff. Hope you enjoy ^-^
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"This is quite the disASTER, isn’t it?" You had said, picking up one of the scattered flowers in hopes of calming down the child in front of you. Note to self, maybe save any projects with plants for the older kids. 
It worked though, the little boy giggling as he scurried away, a few fistfuls of flowers in his hands. 
Sun, having overheard the joke from where he was currently managing the other children called out, "I’m rooting for you, Sunshine!"
It took you a moment to notice the pun, but then you smirk. 
"Thanks for being such a good bud-dy, Sunny."
He bows, eyes uplifted with glee, "My pleasure, Sunflower."
Throughout the rest of the morning, the two of you go back and forth with your puns. Switching from plants to anything around the Daycare seamlessly. Also seamlessly, the puns you make become more, flirty, in nature. 
"You brighten my morning."
"You've got me hooked on you."
“I crayon believe I get to spend all day with you.”
It's when you're on your lunch break that things start to escalate.
"You're quite a snack, you know."
Sun waves the last child for the morning group goodbye, shutting the door as his faceplate spins, "I think you're quite aDOORable, really."
You try to think of something good to fight back with, quickly realizing your options have started to run thin.
Then, you look down at your sandwich, and hold it up with a grin, "Yeah, well, I loaf you."
You expect a witty comeback, it doesn't come. Instead, you watch as Sun freezes completely, eyes widening at your words. Your smile falters. 
Internally you start berating yourself, 'Too far, too far, I went too far-'
"Starshine."
Coming out of your head you find Sun bent down in front of you, tone serious, "Did you really mean that?"
"I," You look away, coughing, "I, um."
His hand goes under your chin, tilting your gaze back to him.  
"Be honest with me. Please," He pleads.
You bite your lip, and sigh, "I, yeah. I-I did."
You close your eyes, cringing for the obvious negative outcome of such an admittance-
You feel a soft bonk against your forehead, then your cheek, your nose, and lastly your lips. You open your eyes in time for Sun to pull away again, rays spinning and a gentle spring in his words, "I love you too."
"Oh-um, really?" You squeak. Your face is burning. 
He laughs, it's light, sweet. His hand cups your cheek, "Yes, wheely."
You're confused for a moment before you think to look down, seeing that he's now standing on the wheels which are usually hidden in his shoes.
You puff out your cheeks, shooing his hand away as he laughs again, "No fair. How am I supposed to make a comeback to that!"
"Simple," Sun boops your nose, "You can't."
The rest of your break is spent sharing heartfelt grins, giggles, and maybe a few more kisses, just for good measure.
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Requests are still open until 12:30 PM EST Tomorrow (9/23/24)! Check out the original post for rules and such :) Thanks for reading!
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shouldprobablybereading · 3 months ago
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AITA for taking an overseas position without consulting my wife?
Throwaway in case my wife sees it.
I (51m) was recently offered the job of my dreams, it came out of nowhere but fits with everything that I have worked towards for the last 30 years. Really the opportunity of a lifetime and will allow me to actually make a difference. However I would be required to move out of the country very far away, with limited ability to travel back and forth. At first I was ecstatic and said yes pretty much immediately, but when I was speaking with my colleague on zoom he kept telling me that I was getting in over my head. And then my recruiter seemed to think it was weird how quickly I agreed.
My wife (47f) and I have been fighting a lot more lately. She keeps complaining that I am not involving her enough in my life and gets annoyed when I spend time with my friends. I’m starting to get the feeling she resents me for never becoming as successful of an engineer as she wanted to. Which is ridiculous since the truth is that she simply never had what it took, and I don’t think it’s fair for her to be angry at me. She also gets angry with me when I tell her this, for some reason. If I tell her about the job offer I am sure she will go crazy.
Thing is, if I don’t take this position I know they are going to ask my brother (47m) instead which I am certain would be a disaster. He is really successful in our field, but he is reckless and throws himself into things head first. With a skull thick enough that I would not be surprised if he could survive a rockslide. It feels like I have been babysitting him since we were children and I am scared of what he would do without my direct supervision. If they put him in charge I am sure it would burn to the ground. His wife died a while ago and he did not take it well, so he and his boys (13m & 17m) have been staying with us for a while to sort things out. Which is actually a reason why I am not as comfortable leaving, you see I am not comfortable with how much time my wife and he are spending together. They were friends before me and my wife met, it was how we were introduced, and while they never dated I am also not an idiot. You do not keep friends of the opposite gender and bring them to parties without there being some interest. I am afraid that if I leave they might start something.
My children (28f) and (21m) are both adults, so they are no real reason for holding me here. I have paid for both of their college educations as well as my son’s wedding last year. So clearly I have done everything that is expected of me. I would have done the same for my daughter, but she seems hellbent on getting her PhD and seems to get upset whenever I suggest that she should try to settle down. Which is actually really annoying because if I am actually leaving then I need her to have a husband who I can leave the family company to, as my son is the only person I know who is potentially more of a loser than my brother.
I don’t think I have done anything wrong, but my coworkers do not seem to agree. So am I the asshole? I just want to make a difference and be away from all of this mediocrity.
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happy74827 · 10 months ago
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Cool Rider
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[Steve Rogers x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: When another date ends in disaster, and Steve shows up in an attempt to “cheer” you up, you’re instantly against everything. But it’s Steve, and you should know by now that he never takes no for an answer.
WC: 3859
Category: Fluff
A lot of people liked my other Steve fic, so I felt inclined to make another. This time with a lot more fluff (you’re welcome @summerrivera777777).
『••✎••』
Needless to say, you were shocked when you heard the roar of a motorcycle.
You didn’t do well with dates. In your 24 years of life, you had a total of one boyfriend, and he was the absolute worst. So, in the last six months, you have been avoiding all social activities like the plague and focusing solely on yourself and your future.
That meant that you had become very comfortable being a hermit and avoiding any and all contact with other human beings. You were happy that way.
So why was a man who looked like an absolute God sitting on a motorcycle at the front door of your house?
Well, because you broke that rule a week ago.
In all fairness, the man was cute. A nerdy, awkward kind of cute. And he was a gentleman. And you were lonely.
So, when he asked you for your number, you were too lonely to turn him down. You hadn’t expected him to call, and you certainly didn’t expect him to ask you out on a date. But you also didn't think you would have the willpower to say no.
So you accepted, and it turned out to be the biggest regret of your life. The “nerd” was actually a complete dick, and after 30 minutes, you just wanted to go home. But you couldn’t because he refused to pay for the meal, so you were stuck there with him.
The worst part of the night was when he got into his car and tried to follow you home. He kept insisting that he just wanted to be a good guy and make sure that you got home safely, but you were sure that he just wanted to see where you lived and probably get in a few gropes along the way.
Luckily, you were able to lose him about three blocks from your house. It was a good thing, too, because your phone had died a couple of blocks ago, and you were afraid that if you got caught by him, you wouldn't have a way to call for help.
The next day, you made an executive decision to stay the hell away from men, with the exception of a few nice, safe friends. That was how you ended up here, seven days later, hiding in your room and ignoring your doorbell.
The bell kept ringing, and you knew that whoever was out there wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Groaning, you threw your covers off of your body and stomped towards the front door.
You threw open the door, ready to rip someone a new one, when your angry speech caught in your throat.
Steve Rogers was standing on your front porch.
He was a friend from work, to simplify a very long story. You met him two years ago when you started at SHIELD. You were a tech genius, and you worked closely with the Avengers to keep their equipment running.
Steve was always sweet and funny. You had a lot in common and were very close. After a while, you started hanging out with him and his friends, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky. It was great.
As exceptions to men go, he was definitely a big one. He was a walking god, with the physique and the looks to prove it. And here he was, on your front porch, holding keys that belonged to the motorcycle parked out front.
You looked at the motorcycle, then back to Steve, before your face went blank.
"No."
"What?"
"No."
Steve cocked an eyebrow. A smile tugged at his lips as if he were amused. "No?"
"Nope. Whatever you're trying to sell, I'm not buying."
"Why would I be trying to sell you something? I’m not even selling anything."
"It’s an expression, Steve, Jesus." You said, throwing your hands up in exasperation. Steve might’ve been your best friend, but the guy was such a 90-year-old sometimes. "If you think that I'm going to get on that thing with you, you're wrong. It's death on two wheels."
His eyes widened in surprise, a laugh bubbling in his throat. He looked over his shoulder at the bike, then back to you.
"That's... a little dramatic, don't you think?"
"I'm serious, Steve. It's not happening. I don't trust that thing, and I'm not going to die in some freak accident."
He crossed his arms over his chest, the sleeves of his leather jacket tightening over his biceps. His smile didn't fade as he spoke, which only annoyed you more.
"It's not going to kill you. I’m quite insulted that you would think that I would put you in danger."
"You're an Avenger. You put me in danger just by existing."
His lips twitched, and you had the feeling that he was holding back a comment.
"Look," he said, leaning against the door frame. "You haven't come out with us in weeks, and I'm worried. It's not healthy to lock yourself in your house all the time. With the job we have, there's never a guarantee of tomorrow, and if I were you, I'd want to spend every day living it to the fullest."
His words caught you off guard. He was right. It had been almost two months since you had gone out with the group. You just couldn't find the motivation. You were content being at home, alone. You had gotten a little lax in your friendships, only going to work and coming straight home. And now, with the… issues… with your date, you just didn't have the heart to try again.
You could feel your resolve starting to crumble, but you tried to stay strong.
"That's a low blow, Rogers." You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest. "But my answer is still no."
"You think that was a low blow?” He scoffed as he pushed himself away from the door and took a step forward.
He was so much taller than you, and his presence was overwhelming. With the added tightness of his clothing and the confidence in his eyes, it tricked your eyes into seeing him as bigger than he really was. He was big, of course, but right now, it felt like he was towering over you.
Your heart began to race, a flush spreading over your cheeks.
"You clearly never played football because if you did, you'd know that this was a real low blow."
Without warning, he grabbed you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder.
"Hey!" You squealed, slapping your hand against his lower back. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, and you could see the muscles ripple in his back with every step that he took. "Put me down!"
"You're going to have fun today."
"Steve! Put me down right now! I swear to God if you don't-"
"You'll what?" He laughed, the deep rumble making your stomach flutter. "Punish me?"
You huffed as you pounded on his back with your fist. You weren't mad at him, really; you just didn't know how to respond.
Steve practically dragged you outside. You were sure that you looked ridiculous, but you were thankful that you lived far enough away from your neighbors for no one to witness this. When he finally set you down next to the motorcycle, you gave him a glare.
"You're an ass, Steve Rogers."
He gave you a smirk as he swung his leg over the bike, his leather jacket tightening around his arm as his muscles flexed. Personally, you hated leather, but the way it fit him...
"Steve, I’m not wearing the right clothes."
He was quiet as his eyes swept over you. You were wearing shorts and a tank top since it was the middle of summer and you were hot, but he was looking at you like you were covered head to toe in leather.
"We can go buy something and change in the bathroom or something."
He seemed to think for a moment before he gave a single nod.
"Sure."
He started the bike and motioned for you to get on behind him. Goddamn it, Steve.
Sighing, you swung your leg over the bike and wrapped your arms around his torso. It was an incredibly intimate position, with your body pressed up against his and your faces mere inches apart. For a moment, you didn’t even realize when he swung a helmet down in front of your face.
"Put this on, Scaredy-Cat."
"Shut up, I'm not scared. Just... concerned."
He raised an eyebrow at you, his smirk still ever-present. You rolled your eyes before slipping the helmet onto your head.
The engine rumbled beneath you, and Steve revved the engine a couple of times, laughing when you squeaked in surprise and gripped him tighter. You could feel the laughter in his chest, his muscles moving under your fingers.
"Hold on tight, princess. Wouldn't want you falling off."
"You're a dick."
"Language."
"I will push you off this bike."
Steve didn't say anything; he just pulled the kickstand up and eased the bike into drive.
You squealed when the bike began to move, tightening your hold on Steve and burying your face in his back. He didn’t seem to mind; he just chuckled and sped up a bit.
You tried not to scream as he maneuvered the bike through traffic, weaving in and out of cars. It was a terrifying experience, especially since you had the distinct impression that Steve was taking advantage of the situation and driving recklessly.
You felt the wind on your legs and the constant hair strands whipping into your face, but you refused to look up. The speed, the closeness of the cars, and the fact that there was nothing keeping you on the bike except for Steve made it impossible to even think about moving.
When Steve finally stopped the bike, you had your eyes closed tight, and your body pressed completely up against him. Your arms were wrapped around him so tightly he was surprised you could breathe.
He took a moment to enjoy the feeling before gently prying your hands off of him and stepping off the bike. He turned and reached out a hand for you, waiting patiently for you to move. When you didn’t, he moved back towards the bike and took the helmet off your head.
You were breathing hard, trying desperately not to show how scared you were.
"It wasn’t that bad."
You shot him a glare, which made him grin.
"Just... shut up."
He laughed and helped you off the bike, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. He was a gentleman, of course, and you couldn’t complain about the feeling of his hard body pressed up against yours, but the sudden closeness was a bit overwhelming.
"Ugh, I think I have whiplash."
"Liar," said Steve with another laugh, be dramatic. You liked it, admit it."
"Whatever, why are you even kidnapping me, anyways?"
"I told you. It's not healthy to sit in a dark room, alone, all day, every day."
"First, rude.” You said, giving him a nudge in the side. He let out a small sound, which made your eyes widen in surprise.
"Did that hurt you, oh Captain, my Captain?"
"It didn't hurt," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "And second?"
"What?"
"First, rude," he mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "Second?"
"Oh! Yeah, why are we actually doing this?"
That’s when Steve paused. Your heart instantly dropped at his hesitation. Steve only hesitated for two reasons. The first reason would be if he were completely at a loss for words, and clearly, by his recent attitude, that wasn’t the case. So that left the second reason: because he knew something that he either didn’t want to tell you or something he wasn’t supposed to know.
With recent events, it wasn’t difficult to guess what was happening.
"Natasha told you, didn't she."
You were already pulling away from him, ready to go back home and hide in your bed for the rest of eternity, when he caught your wrist.
“Hey,” His voice was softer, and there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. “It doesn't matter. What matters is that you have a good time today, alright? So, forget about what happened, forget about what Natasha said, and just focus on having a good day. Okay?"
“I don’t want a pity date, Steve. It’s nice that you care and everything, but-”
"I'm not pity dating you." His voice was firm, and his face was hard, the complete opposite of the way it was just moments before.
"Then what do you call this? My actual date sucked, and I've been cooped up in my house, so you thought, 'Hey, why not take her out and show her a good time?'"
Steve let out a sigh and shook his head, his fingers loosening around your wrist. "No, no. That's not... I'm sorry."
The change in him was drastic. He seemed to shrink in on himself, and his head drooped like a kicked puppy.
"Steve,"
He lifted his head and looked at you, his baby-blue eyes filled with guilt.
"You have no idea how badly I want to punch that guy for treating you like that.” He spoke softly as if the words were only meant for him to hear. But, as the saying goes, the walls have ears, and the parking lot was pretty damn quiet. “But that's not what this is. You're my friend, and I hate to see you sad. I'm not here just because of a stupid date. I'm here because I care about you."
There was a pause, a heavy silence hanging between the two of you. He was looking at you expectantly, a pleading look in his eyes.
"I'm not going to make you talk about it if you don't want to."
"Okay,"
"And I'm not going to bring it up again unless you do.”
"Okay."
"And, I'm not going to ask you for anything in return, maybe a little more conversation, a smile, maybe a laugh, but other than that..."
A smile slowly crept onto your face. He had the uncanny ability to make everyone else smile, regardless of their mood, and he was the only one who could do it. It’s not that his jokes were particularly funny because they weren't, but it was the way he said them.
He was an awkward, nervous mess most of the time, but when he was confident when he was in his element, there was no stopping him.
"You sure you want to waste all your energy on me, old man?"
His lips twitched at the nickname, his eyes brightening. "For you, doll? Anything."
And there it was. That goddamn smile that made your heart skip a beat and butterflies erupt in your stomach. He was just too sweet, and it was completely unfair.
"Come on," he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and tugging you close. "Let's get you something nice."
You smiled as you walked next to him. As much as you hated the motorcycle ride, it was nice to spend some time with Steve. He parked outside a Target, and the two of you walked in, immediately making your way to the women's section.
You took charge almost immediately, going to the racks and picking out different things. Steve followed behind you, carrying your armfuls of clothes as you added more. You went through rack after rack, throwing the things that caught your eye into his arms.
After about the tenth outfit, you turned around and saw him standing there, his arms filled with clothing and a smile on his face. You ignored it or tried to, as you turned back around and went to another rack.
When you finally finished, you had an armful of outfits, and Steve was practically weighed down. He didn't seem to mind, though, and you had the feeling that he had enjoyed his role as a pack mule. When the shopping was done, you ran to the bathrooms and changed into the outfit while Steve waited outside.
A pullover hoodie and a pair of jeans, the closest thing that Target had to leather. Not exactly what you wanted, but it would work. When you stepped out of the stall, you found Steve sitting in one of the chairs, flipping through a magazine. Such a 90-year-old, again.
He looked up when he heard the door open, his eyes sweeping over your form.
"Where to now? The ditch?"
Steve rolled his eyes, a smile spreading across his lips. "You’re an avid book reader, right? What's the biggest bookstore in the area?"
"Are we going to Barnes and Noble or something?"
"If that's what's closest."
You paused, watching his expression. There was no sign of teasing, no hint that this was a joke.
"…Really? Barnes and Noble?"
"Is that an issue?"
The disbelief must have been written on your face because Steve gave a loud laugh, throwing his head back.
"Oh, come on. I can be spontaneous!"
"Sure," you mumbled, trying not to show how happy his statement had made you. He remembered a stupid fact about you that you had told him months ago. And he had stored it, not forgotten it.
You felt like you were in the twilight zone, but you weren't complaining.
Steve bought the outfit and threw the tags away, and the two of you got back on the motorcycle. It was easier, this time, with the knowledge that he had cared enough to listen to your ramblings. Maybe he cared enough to calm it.
You had your face buried in his back, not out of fear this time, but out of comfort. You couldn’t see him smile as he sped up, but you could feel it.
At Barnes and Noble, he sat and watched as you wandered the store, a smile on his face. He didn’t say anything, didn't pressure you into talking, didn’t even try to join in; he just sat and listened as you read him the summaries of the books. You didn’t even mean to; it just kind of happened.
One moment, you were looking through the books; the next, you were reading the synopsis out loud to Steve. He didn’t say anything, didn't make any indication that he was listening, but you could tell by the way his head would turn towards you when you spoke. And once again, Steve was your personal pack mule, carrying the books that you were interested in.
By the end of the night, he had an armful of books, a satisfied smile on his face, and you were laughing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had laughed this much, the last time you had felt so happy.
When you got home, the sky was dark, and the moon was high. Steve followed you inside and set the books down on the coffee table. He had refused to let you carry them, insisting that they would get ruined in your hands. You didn't bother fighting him on it and allowed him to carry them.
"Do you want a drink or anything? Something to eat?" It was obvious you were slightly nervous now, but Steve didn’t seem the notice… or even care at this point.
"No, thank you. I should probably be getting back."
"Oh." You paused, not really wanting him to leave, but you couldn’t ask him to stay. You were friends, that was it, and nothing more. "Okay, yeah."
"Well," he started, his fingers flexing by his side. "I'll see you soon, then?"
"Yeah," you said, giving him a smile. "See you soon, Steve."
He looked like he was going to say something else before he gave you a soft smile and walked out.
Once he was gone, you shut the door and let out a sigh. Today was perfect, and you hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for enjoying yourself, hated that you were able to push away all thoughts of him. It was like the universe was taunting you, dangling the perfect guy in front of your face, and you couldn’t have him.
"Why him, huh?"
"I can still hear you." Steve's voice echoed through the house despite his absence in it, and you internally groaned as you got up to stare out the window. Damn, his super hearing.
You pulled the blinds aside and watched as Steve got on his bike, his helmet still in his hands.
"Steve."
He paused, turning his head towards the house. He couldn’t hear what you were saying now that he was by his bike, not with the closed windows, but he could see the silhouette of your body against the curtains. You lifted it up in an instant, an invitation.
"Steve.” You repeated, and this time he heard it. Loud and clear.
"Yeah?"
"Did you really mean it? That this wasn’t a pity date?"
Steve paused for a moment, his lips slightly parted. After a moment, he rested his helmet on the handlebars and made his way back to you. He stopped inches from you, slightly bending down through the window.
A smile and a simple glimpse at your lips was his only answer. He looked back in your eyes, his expression soft, waiting. He was leaving it up to you, not wanting to push, not wanting to scare. He wanted it, but he wasn’t going to force it.
It was all the incentive that you needed.
You reached through the window and grabbed his jacket, pulling him forward and crashing your lips together. It was desperate and slightly awkward since you were halfway through the window, but neither of you seemed to care.
Steve reached forward and grabbed the side of the window, pushing it open even further and lifting you through. You let out a surprised squeak, which quickly turned into a moan as he pressed you up against the house.
His lips were warm and softer than you expected. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.
After a few moments, Steve pulled away, his forehead resting on yours and a smile on his face.
"Okay, this wasn't a pity date."
Steve let out a laugh, the breath puffing against your face.
"Good. Glad we established that."
"What was this, then? I've been told that Captain America wasn’t one to put out on the first date."
"Oh, yeah. Definitely not. I'm a gentleman."
"Then what's this, Steve? What was today?"
His arm tightened around you, and he pressed his lips against your forehead, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.
"Like I said, I can be spontaneous."
"Spontaneous," you mumbled, letting out a laugh.
"And," he continued, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. "It seems good girls like a little bad every now and then. You especially, given your choice of dates."
"So, is that what this is? Captain America showing me a good time?"
"No. This is Steve Rogers showing his girl a good time."
"Your girl, huh?"
"Yeah," he murmured, his lips inches from yours. "My girl."
And when his lips met yours again, all you could think about was the leather jacket, the motorcycle, and the promise of more.
And a whole lot more bad.
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aster-draws · 3 months ago
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so... very important question. In Better Halves, are Danny and Tim kisses going to become a lot more common now that they've had their first real one? Please, for the love of god, don't make them wait 10 more chapters.
lovingly, an anon that needs to see them fuck nasty
Okay fair question! Yes, kisses will be (relatively) more common now, but I don't count this as their first 'real' kiss- although arguably it should be- the first real kiss is somewhere in chapter 34? Ish. More or less around there.
Look. I said slow burn and I goddamn MEANT it. it's gonna be nearly 200k before they Approach the idea of it not being fake anymore (despite the fact that it never really was to begin with). they're. complete unmitigated disasters.
and as for them fucking nasty (with understanding that was likely meant to be somewhat sarcastic). Currently the plan is to keep it at a teen rating. But. obviously aspects of this have gotten away from me in the past. Keep an eye on the rating because. Idk there are gonna be moments and that's all I'll say. (if i write them, i'll change the rating as I do, so hopefully with a good few chapters before hand. or maybe I'll post an alt version with the ma content? idk we shall cross the bridge when we arrive to it)
For your reference though, here's how many kisses are in each chapter i have completely written (this may depress you) (also below a read more for the spoilers aspect of it all.)
chapter 20- 1 kiss (on cheek)
21- 0 kisses
22- 0 kisses
23- 0 kisses
24- 0 kisses (somehow oh my GOD)
25- 1 kiss (on lips)
26- 1 kiss (on lips) (also the first Proper kiss since chapter 19. imo)
27- 2 kisses (1 on forehead, 1 on lips)
28- 0 kisses
29- 0 kisses
30- 0 kisses
do not let the amount of 0's grieve you, for most of those the boys aren't even in the same state (or country) so. not chapter 24 tho that's fucking miserable yearning i won't lie
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cozycottagelife · 3 months ago
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🤙42 lessons life taught me 💖
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.💖
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. (I love this one)
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
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1moreff-creator · 1 year ago
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Everything We Know About Mai Akasaki + So Many Theories
AKA, me going insane over a character with exactly nine seconds of main series screen time so far. I checked.
At this point, it's probably fair to say that Mai Akasaki is by far the most mysterious aspect of DRDT. A character we only learn about in short, cryptic bouts of information, yet one which seems intrinsically linked with the series' plot and characters. We know extremely little about her, and what we do know, it's usually speculative.
However, it's still really interesting to talk about this funky little woman, and try to figure out what exactly her deal is. Join me in insanity land, as I compile everything I could find about her, and speculate on her story! I can practically guarantee that you'll learn something new.
WARNING: Insanely long post. I reached the 30 image limit, to give you an idea of how crazy this is.
Wait, Who?
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Her! <3
(A lot of what I'm about to say come from this post by despairing-disaster and this one by akemiai, huge shout out to them!)
For the uninitiated, Mai Akasaki is the secret seventeenth student of the DRDT cast, hidden somehwere in this school wait no that's Mukuro. Her name can be found in the hidden quote in MonoTV's character profile, which itself is found by doing "inspect element" on said page.
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Her name is Mai Akasaki
(I am such a hacker)
Typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki (or clicking there) takes you to a pretty empty page, with this text:
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All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I'll give it to you as well. Don't apologize for asking, I'll give you my forgiveness too.
As you'll see later, this quote is probably something Mai would say.
And this hidden quote:
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"Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There's no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I'm sorry."
Note the quotes, which as far as I can tell, aren't in any of the other hidden phrases. That said, spoilers, I don’t have any idea what this means.
You may aso have noticed some highlighted letters in that first quote. Typing those in, https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/aoaviepkro, takes you to the most important page for our purposes:
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(Also, you can just look it up on google nowadays)
Mai Akasaki's character profile. And yes, it's the girl Teruko remembers after being stabbed by Xander, in episode 6 of chapter 1. After that memory, Teruko thinks:
It's strange I would remember her now, of all times. What was her name again? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember. Xander always reminded me of that girl. Perhaps that's why I'm thinking about her now. They looked similar, with that same red hair and smile. And... they both wanted to help, didn't they?
Teruko and her clearly have something going on, but we'll get to it later (take a shot every time I say something like that). For now, we have to dive into the profile.
Profile of Someone Dearly Loved
Basic Info
She's listed as the "Ultimate ???", likes phone charms and dislikes silence. She's 5'8'' tall, weighing 124 lbs and with a chest sie of 30 in. I doubt anyone cares about the latter. Her birthday is February first, which you may want to keep in mind for later.
The Subtitle Quote
As every character does, Mai has a quote right under her name. In her case, "There's a way for you to be happy". Keep in mind these quotes are usually things the characters would say, and as you'll see in a moment, that fits.
However, what's interesting is that this quote was not the one originally there when Mai's page was first found. It changed. It used to be, apparently, "Anything, anything at all..."
What I don't know is when it changed, or why. The earliest reference I can find to the change is this post by stfu-sage, the 20th of March, 2023. This is just three days after the release of Ch 2 Ep 8, but that feels like quite a strange time for it to change, especially since we don’t know how many days passed without anyone checking the profile. I feel it makes more sense if it had changed either with the release of Ch 2 or with the BDA on chapter 7. Regardless, the exact time doesn’t matter much.
What do these lines mean, though? Well, starting with “Anything, anything at all”, I believe it’s related to line from the Mai Akasaki URL. You know, “All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you…”, that one. When you read them together, it makes sense:
All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well. […] [You can ask for] Anything, anything at all.
Considering the code for Mai’s profile is in the “ask for my hand” line, I think it makes sense.
Then, the changed quote, “There’s a way for you to be happy”. Considering the general time for the change, is it possible this is something Mai said to Arei, during their time at Hope's Peak? It's the best I have for now, but I feel we may need more context to know what this is about.
In any case, I can't gather much more from the subtitle quote. Although I do feel like pointing out, Mai’s quote is somewhat unique in that none of the words are highlighted. All the other characters have one or a few words highlighted (eg: Arei - secret, Teruko - no matter what), except MonoTV and Mai. Don’t think it means anything, but it’s there.
Hidden Quotes
And here we have it. The most important part of Mai theorizing. Whenever you refresh the page, a new body of text appears, which is related to a specific character via the code of the website. You can see in the screenshot I took, it says “A girl with many friends”. But here’s a full list of all the possibilities:
Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Whit: A girl with many friends. Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences. David: She forgives everyone. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.
You may notice the order is somewhat peculiar, and it's for a good reason. It's the order the "bios" (name of the variable in the source code... I think that's how that works) are laid out in the source code of Mai's page.
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... I know you can barely see and not all of them are on frame, but just trust me. If you want to check for yourself, you can go to the profile's source code (Ctrl U), and either scroll to almost the bottom, or just search (Ctrl F) for a word like "average" or "confided" which only shows up in the "bios". There's probably easier ways to go about it, but this is how I got there. I'm telling you this because it took me like an hour to find out where the hell the order came from. I am not good at computers.
However, for now, let's just ignore the order (and the tenses of the sentences, I swear I'll get there) and focus on the main points for now.
+Mai is extremely well-liked by the other members of the cast. In particular, some of the quotes compliment her based on faults the character attached to them has.
>Arturo is extremely judgemental based on ugliness, but Mai "sees the beauty in everyone".
>Charles forgot his dead brother, but Mai "loves her family".
>Rose is absentminded and often forgets things if she doesn't see them, but Mai "remembers everything that is important to others".
>The hidden quote on Ace's page has him saying "I don't know what to do with myself anymore", suggesting a lack of control over his future, but Mai "had a bright future".
>Arei constantly causes altercations between the cast, but Mai "doesn't like it when her friends fight".
However, plenty of quotes are simply good qualities, such as Hu's "A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe". The point is, everyone seemingly adored this girl.
+Mai is good at keeping secrets, as implied by J's and Nico's quotes ("She kept it a secret, and told no one" and "Everyone confided in her", respectively). Those same quotes actually seem to imply Mai likely knew those two's secrets, and possibly a lot of the others.
+Among other things, Mai is compassionate, forgiving, friendly, and generally a positive presence.
+Mai and Teruko have a particularly strange relationship. We'll come back to this.
+Mai seemingly did... something, and it brought consequences. This is implied by the quotes of Xander ("she couldn't stand to do nothing") and Veronika ("A girl who didn't foresee the consequences"). But, what was it? Well, to get a better idea, we need to take a look at... the Bonus Episodes.
A Not-So-Unnamed-Classmate
Technically-a-Theory: Mai is the Unnamed Classmate
I say "technically" because I'm pretty sure no one actually disagrees with this. Yes, technically it's never been confirmed, but it seems likely Mai is the Unnamed Classmate who shows up in both of the Bonus Episodes we have so far. The PoV character in both of those episodes has the same voice, which sounds like a girl's, and their personality seems to fit with the very little we know of Mai.
Additionally, as you’ll see, the text boxes in the Bonus Episodes are surrounded by flowers which look very similar to the ones in Mai’s tattoo, further connecting them.
It's not much, but since we don't know anyone else who could be Unnamed Classmate, they and Mai are likely the same person.
With this clarified, let's talk about Unnamed Classmate.
Bonus Episode #1
This episode is mostly focused on Min and the history of Hope's Peak, but we can still start to grasp a bit of Mai's personality. She seems generally upbeat and somewhat bubbly, and we can see glimpses of her kind and caring qualities when she comforts Min near the end of the episode.
There's also a few lines which actually tell us a few more concrete things about her, though. I won't post them in chronological order, btw.
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Min: Hey! Put your textbook away! Don’t cheat!
Seemingly an insignificant joke, but it does help establish Mai as slightly mischievous/cheeky, which will be expanded upon later. Other indications of this cheekiness include Mai comlimenting Min and trying to distract her by talking about the sky and her backstory, presumably to procrastinate. I may be reading too much into it, but I really don't think Mai is as easily distracted as she makes herself out to be.
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Mai: Auughh, the test is too soon, there’s no way I’ll have enough time! I’m totally going to fail!
Mai: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you to help me study--
Mai: I see. That's how you got your talent. I'm ashamed that I'm only now learning something so important. I'm sorry.
(Yes, I had to bunch a few of these images together because I ran into the Tumblr 30 image limit)
A few lines which seem innocuous at first, but when paired together, they hint at something. Essentially, I believe this implies Mai doubts her abilities and actions, and may even have a self-deprecating streak. She's at the very least much harsher on herself than she is on others. It sounds like a stretch, but I swear it's not as farfetched as it seems.
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Mai: You're somebody who buys fish-shaped pastries and saves the chocolate-filled ones for me, because you know that those are my favorite.
Mai likes chocolate-filled pastries. Hey, when I said “everything we know about Mai”, I meant everything (that I could find).
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Min: I suppose for someone like you who doesn't care too much about Hope's Peak and who, no offense, would never be eligible for the [Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students] with such average grades...
Min: You might not do very well in school, but you're quite sharp.
Put simply, Mai has average grades, but is still considered smart by Min. Her intelligence is visible throughout the episodes, mainly in the form of emotional intelligence and a hint of deception (that's where the mischieviousness comes in).
However, perhaps it’s the first phrase which is most interesting. Mai “doesn’t care too much about Hope’s Peak”. Which is only reiterated by the following lines.
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Min: Maybe someone like you who never cared about Hope’s Peak Academy wouldn’t understand. But it’s everyone else’s dream to be an Ultimate.
Mai: Ultimates aren’t everything. As if I’m only friends with you because of your talent. There’s more to you than that.
Mai seems to have a much more laissez-faire approach to the concept of Hope’s Peak and Ultimates than what Min considers normal. By itself, this isn’t too strange, as we know there’s other people not too attached to their status as Ultimates. However, this actually may have something to do with the incident implied in Xander’s and Veronika’s quotes. I’ll get to it later (overused phrase of the day), but for now, keep this in mind.
Nevertheless, there is one more theory affected by this nonchalance towards Hope’s Peak. Except, it’s a theory I believe is actually harmed by this attitude.
Good Theory I Don’t Believe: Mai is a Reserve Course Student
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool theory! I just don’t think it works all the way.
Essentially, this theory is what it says in the tin. Mai is the Ultimate ??? because she’s actually a Reserve Course student, a la Hajime Hinata. There are many good posts on this theory, like this one by delightfullydiscordant, and I recommend you read them since they’re well put together! Some of the main points of this theory include:
>Min’s quote for Mai is “An average girl with nothing special at all about her.”, which could imply she doesn’t have a talent. However, there are other interpretations for this line, so it’s far from conclusive.
>Mai seems to be wearing a Japanese Hope’s Peak uniform (check out this post by laly-481), but the jacket around Mai’s waist is darker than the one worn by Ultimates in DR 3. Instead, it seems closer to a Reserve Course jacket. The issue I have with this is that… well, we know very little about what the Japanese Hope’s Peak in the DRDT universe looks like, so this feels a bit vague.
>
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Mai: You’re not nobody. Even if I pretend that you’re not an Ultimate and that we’re not both students in Hope’s Peak Academy, you’re still somebody to me.
I’ll ask you to ignore the lesbians for a moment and focus on the beginning of the quote. If you look at it closely, it seems to imply both Mai and Min are Hope’s Peak alumni, but they’re not both Ultimates. Thereby, Mai must be a Reserve Course student.
However, I actually have a different interpretation of that quote, one which, you guessed it, I’ll get to later. But for now, if we’re going to get involved in semantics, we also have to look at this line:
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Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...
Min: Remember that we’re East Class 27, so that means that Hope’s Peak is how many years old?
Min: Look at what our classmates are doing now. They're Ultimates too. They're all doing things relevant to their career, if not actually out working.
Min saying “we're class 27" could be interpreted as her simply referring to herself and the other Ultimates, but even then, referring to "our classmates" while talking to Mai implies they're in the same class. Also, Mai saying "we have" a weird curriculum feels odd unless both she and Min have the same curriculum, meaning both of them likely attend the same classes, thus again, both are Ultimates.
But that’s only a minor problem. In truth, there are other reasons I believe Mai has a talent, and I even have a guess of what that talent may be. But the main one is what we just established: Mai never really cared about Hope’s Peak.
I admittedly may be missing some context, since I’ve never watched DR 3, but from what I know, Reserve Course students are usually characterized as people who desperately want to be Ultimates and are obsessed with Hope’s Peak, which doesn’t fit Mai at all. You could argue maybe she went to Hope's Peak to search for Teruko as Teruko's quote implies, but the problem with that is that Teruko remembers Mai, at least a little bit (see: dream sequence), which means they should have reunited before Hope's Peak, since the last thing Teruko remembers before the "amnesia zone" is going to Hope's Peak's entrance ceremony.
Not to mention, we… can’t even be sure the Reserve Course exists. For as much info as we got from the Bonus Episode #1, that course was never even mentioned. And seeing this is a post-Tragedy world, the Reserve Course may not even exist. Especially when Min also says that actually being an Ultimate is considered more important than going to Hope’s Peak in the US.
So, final verdict on this theory? While it’s quite interesting and I definitely think it’s more plausible than many of the other things I’ll bring up, I don’t find it to be the most likely, again because Mai’s disinterest in Hope’s Peak pushes her away from the standard Reserve Course student, and because I prefer a different theory about her talent.
And with that, we’re done with the first Bonus Episode for now! Let’s see what the second one brings.
Bonus Episode #2
This one, surprisingly, has fewer lines which gives us info about Mai. However, what it does give us is arguably some of the most important intel we have so far.
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Mai: No, it’s fine. Don’t think you’re making me come with you. I'm here because I want to be here.
Mai: [Xander reimbursing her for the trip]'s silly. I can pay for it myself. Besides, you're letting me stay at your place for a week, so if anything, you're doing me a favor.
The first just reiterates that Mai is compassionate and wants to help whenever she can. As for the second, it seems to imply Mai doesn't struggle too much with money, which is info I guess. However, she also says Xander is doing her a favor by letting her stay over. I think that just means the expenses of living wherever she's living for a week exceed the expenses of the trips? I don't see any other reason that would be considered a favor in that aspect. I considered maybe Mai could have a bad home life, but in the secret quotes:
Charles: A girl who loves her family
So, I don't think that's the case. I think it really is just a money thing, and we don't have to overthink it too much.
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Mai: 'Oh, speaking of Hope's Peak. I need to ask Xander if he found that document I asked him to look for.'
Mai: 'I didn't want to unload the work on him, but he's much better at digging up stuff than I am.'
Mai: 'But it's definitely not something I should bring up in a public place. I'll remember to ask him later'.
And here we are. The single biggest Mai-related reveal in the Bonus Episodes. Her and Xander were involved in some sort of secretive operation related to Hope's Peak. In particular, seemingly during their trip to visit the graves of Xander's family, Mai asked Xander to retrieve a document related to the Academy, a document they shouldn't discuss in public. In fact, right after this, Mai changes the subject to Xander's eyes so as to not talk about it, again showing she can be somewhat deceptive when she needs to.
This might be related to Teruko's claim that "[Xander and Mai] both wanted to help", but it seems impossible for her to remember anything which happened during HPA (Hope's Peak Academy, got tired of writing it out) time, so I still don't know what she actually meant by that.
Nevertheless, it's pretty obvious that whatever this is, it would be bad news for HPA. I mean, if Xander's involved, there's no way it's good for an institution. But it also ties back to Mai's critical view of HPA and the Ultimate title.
However, messing with something as powerful as HPA could be pretty dangerous. Thus, I believe this little operation is likely what's being referred to in Xander's and Veronika's quotes.
Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.
(By the way, Xander's quote in particular is why I don't quite believe the theory that the document mentioned here is only to get Teruko into HPA somehow. It's a cool theory, but Xander's quote feels a bit too dramatic for that to be the end goal of Mai's plans)
I mean, for one, it's Xander saying Mai did something, and messing with HPA could have quite drastic consequences, from what we know. Thus, from now on, I will henceforth call this vague action against HPA "the HPA Operation", because saying "that thing Mai did which Xander's and Veronika's quotes allude to" is gonna get tiring.
What exactly the HP Operation was, I obviously don't know, we're on chapter 2 of the series and this is quite clearly a mystery which may last until chapter 6 (assuming a standard DR formula).
However, I can tell you one thing. It may not fully be Mai's idea.
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Mai: If you set out to do something, then never give up on that, no matter what obstacles may stand in your way. Even if it's risky or against the rules, as long as it's for a good cause...
Mai: I'll trust that you know to do the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, of course (NOT PICTURED)
Xander: That's why I've come to Hope's Peak, isn't it?
The lines about the HPA document appear right after this, although Mai does seem confused at first by Xander's claim that "that's why [he's come] to Hope's Peak". So although Mai is the one who asked Xander to find the document, it's possible the basic idea to go against HPA came from Xander. After all, remember. Mai never cared much about HPA, so it seems unlikely she paid enough attention to it to notice its flaws as quickly as Xander would. Ultimate Rebel, and all that.
However, even if Xander was the one who planted the idea of revolution in Mai's head, she's clearly invested in it. She tells Xander to never give up on anything he sets out to do, even if it's risky or against the rules.
So, there it is. So far, what we know about the HPA Operation is:
>Mai and Xander were heavily involved.
>It may have originally been Xander's idea, but Mai seems to have taken the role of tactician at some point.
>HPA likely wasn't too happy with it.
>It likely had horrible consequences for Mai.
And that's all we had for a while, as Chapter 2 Part 1 didn't add anything to the conversation. Well, except maybe a thought Teruko has when Arei starts crying after her breakdown in the playground:
That pitiful crying... It reminds me of... Of...
That could be about Mai, but I really don't know what it could mean, so I'm sorta ignoring it for now.
So, yeah. Nothing new.
Until it came out.
Going (Literature Girl) Insane
Yeah, the David MV. Mai is listed in the cast list as a secondary character, though her name is crossed out. This likely refers to the portrait of her seen in the background.
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The portrait of Mai is labeled "portrait of someone dearly loved", while Teruko's is labeled "portrait of someone dearly unloved", the words flipped. This is one of many things which seem to imply Teruko and Mai are meant to be opposites of each other.
There is also that one image of a girl whose identity is unclear.
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It doesn't look like Mai, but maybe that's my prosopagnosiac ass assuming different hair = different person. Generally, people assume this is "Diana Chiem", if she even exists, though I somewhat lean on it possibly being the mysterious name out of frame in the cast list. You know, the name which vaguely looks like "Ms Naegi". However, I'm showing you the image to get a second opinion on something.
You see the hand Mystery Girl is holding? Doesn't it look like it's wearing a glove? Because of the white line in the wrist. Maybe I'm going insane, that could just be a bend of the wrist, but... I kinda don't see it? It makes a bit more sense to me as a glove. And since it doesn't seem to be cut off at the fingers like Xander's, it would have to be Mai's. Other characters also wear this type of glove, but they’re not on the cast list.
The counterpoint is that it looks like you can see the nail of the PoV person's thumb, but I'm not sure that's the case? That part of the sprite is really strange and seems to be different in all three of the Mystery Girl images, so I can't tell. Anywyas, if any of you have ideas, tell me. Again, it's most likely I'm overthinking and that's just a bend of the wrist.
Anyways, enough dillydally, let's get to the big stuff.
The Roman numeral
As you may or may not know, during the MV we’re shown a crossword puzzle which is solved with the characters’ names, and this assigns each character with a different Roman numeral. This numeral later shows up attached to some kind of phrase, which in turn relates that character back to the phrase. I made a post talking about all of them, but I'll go more in detail about Mai's in this post than I did in that post.
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Solution by raspbeyes
In the crosswords, Mai intersects Arei and Levi. I don't think this means much by itself, since the way the names intersect doesn't seem to be too important in general. Like, yes, if you squint you can see things like Whit only intersecting Charles, but there's also things like Min only intersecting Arei, Eden only intersecting Rose, Veronika intersecting everyone and their morther... My point is, the exact position in the crosswords doesn't tend to matter much.
What's more important are the numerals. Mai's is XI (11), a number which, from my research, is related to leadership and bringing out the best in others, as well as nobility or higher conciousness and spirituality and knowledge and new beginnings- Okay, the point is, I found mostly inconclusive stuff, but a lot of this sort of relates back to Mai, so we take it.
And the phrase itself:
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XI. God is dead
What could this mean? Well, in philosophy, the phrase "God is dead" refers to the breakdown of ethical and sociocultural structures as christianity and religion in general became less universal. So, loss in faith in an institution leads to changes in the status quo. One way to interpret this in the context of this numeral is that Hope's Peak is the "God", and Mai's actions involved a loss on faith on HPA, and everything which comes with it. This could even be related to the phrase which directly follows this numeral in the song, "become brainwashed: go do it!". If HPA's propaganda which makes everyone love Ultimates can be considered brainwashing, anyways.
...
But that's not what any of us first thought when we read that, is it?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is Mai Dead?
Yeah, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room.
You'll have noticed, lots of the hidden quotes on Mai's profile speak about her in the past tense. This already had people thinking she was dead since it was first found, but the MV really drove the point home. Considering how the characters think about Mai, it's not impossible to imagine Mai is the "God" here, and "God is dead" has a far more literal meaning.
But, let's hold our horses here, no need to kill her so quickly. There is a chance she's alive.
Coping With the Quotes
Like I said, some of these quotes speak about her as if she's dead, but some of them actually talk about Mai in the present tense. Here, I sorted them out.
Referring to a past event:
Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.
These are phrases which can't be used to determine Mai's status, since they talk about a specific thing which she did. Even if she's alive, these would still be in the past tense. Teruko's is explicitly talking about years ago; J and Eden are talking about things Mai probably did during her time at HP; and Xander's and Veronika's talk about the HPA Operation. These are inconclusive.
Miscellaneously inconclusive
Whit: A girl with many friends. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.
MonoTV's line doesn't refer to Mai at all, so it's not useful here. And I put Whit here because... frankly, I wouldn't trust him to tell us even if Mai really is dead. "[His] mother is dead, [he] omit[s] this truth", and all that. Though his quote does seem to imply she's alive, for what it's worth.
Present Tense
Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. David: She forgives everyone.
Admittedly, some of these don't actually have verbs, so putting them in "present tense" is a bit of a misnomer. Still, all of these seem to imply Mai's alive. Notably, David's line is right after Xander's and Veronika's in the code, so he might be saying this after the HPA Operation fell through? Take that as you will.
Past Tense
Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future.
I was surprised by how few of these lines actually speak of Mai strictly as if she's died. They are all together, too, and separated from Xander's and Veronika's by Arei's and Min's in the code. But what's even more important is that these are still inconclusive.
When Hu says Mai "wanted to keep everyone safe", she could be talking specifically about the HPA Operation, and the phrase would be in the past tense even if Mai survived that.
When Nico says "everyone confided in her", that could mean everyone at one point or another told her their secrets, and again, it would be in the past tense even if Mai is alive.
And although Ace says Mai "had a bright future", we don't know why she no longer has one. It's possible the consequences Veronika speaks of only ruined Mai's future, but didn't get her killed.
With all this in mind, it actually seems like the quotes lean on the side of Mai being alive! That's still inconclusive, and MonoTV's quote is a bit too ominous for me to say they definitively confirm her status.
Especially because... well, the quotes aren't the only part of this discussion.
The MV Killed the Hope's Peak Star
Let's start with the biggest issue, the flowers of an unknown species.
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As pointed out by delightfullydiscordant in this post, those flowers appear to be the same ones on Mai’s tattoo and Unnamed Classmate’s text boxes. And as the comments point out, they seem to be camellias.
The issue is that the MV confirms they’re white. And white camellias, in Japan, are popular funeral flowers and are associated with death. Yeah.
Now, let’s not bury the girl yet. White camellias also represent adoration and respect in a more platonic way than, say, red camellias, for example. They can also represent purity, beauty, and even hope. Yeah, we’re dropping the H word.
I also tried looking for literary references with white camellias, in the spirit of the MV. However, the only thing I found was that they show up in “To Kill A Mockingbird”, a book which if I recall correctly is never mentioned in the MV. And it’s a good thing, too, since they apparently represent racism in that book. I don’t think that’s related to Mai, frankly.
So, good news! It’s still not conclusive! Well, but there’s more. In particular, take a look at footnote 20.
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This shows up directly after Mai's numeral and the brainwashed phrase I mentioned earlier. It’s a definition of the model of the five stages of grief, with the footnote itself simply claiming it is considered by many to be outdated. Also, there’s an emoticon of someone sticking out their tongue. Don’t know what else that would be, and I don’t know what to make of it.
But the fact it’s a model of how people deal with grief, usually related to death, and that it shows up directly after Mai’s numeral, seems to imply Mai’s dead.
And then there’s the problem of her numeral! Mai has one of the only ones numerals which is colored, in this case gray. The others are mostly just white, with the only other exceptions being Xander's (translucid, "(the world of abnormal sentiment dances)") and Min's (pink, stylised as the X of a death portrait, "democratic-ly" and the rules of class trials). It doesn't bode too well for Mai to have something in common with 2/3 of all confirmed dead people, I have to say.
However, it being gray specifically could be a direct reference to her death as well. Color theory (don’t question it for now) connects gray with the depressed persona of David, though, so this isn’t very conclusive.
And finally, edging into more “confirmation bias-y” territory, you remember how I said the position in the crosswords doesn’t really matter? Well, yeah, but. Mai’s name, as it goes over the A in Arei, also happens to cross the Roman numeral IV (4), a number related to death as per footnote four. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s why Arei has it. You know, the third dead person. Nevertheless, again, crosswords positioning is usually not important, so take that with a massive grain of salt.
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So, what’s the conclusion? I think it’s still up for debate, but I lean more on the idea of Mai being dead. The flowers and the model of stages of grief are pretty damning, and I don’t think most of the quotes being in present tense can really be trusted.
Anyways, let me continue a bit with the idea of her being dead.
Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Xander’s to Blame
You remember how the MV claims there’s six bullets around? But it also tells you it’s impossible to find them all? I made a post about it, where I found the five bullets which I think are the only ones which i can be found.
My conclusion in that post, which I sort of stand by, is that if there’s six bullets, but only five are visible, the last one is likely loaded in the gun. It’s labeled “(not) a prop gun”, so it’s apparently real, but still connected to Xander.
The issue? That gun is sorta pointed directly at Mai’s portrait.
This kinda fits with the pieces I’ve been putting together. Mai (possibly) died because of the HPA Operation, but Xander may have been the one who originally planted that idea in her head. Or at least enabled her plans by finding documents. In that sense, one could argue it’s Xander’s fault Mai died. So, it kinda fits! I’m going with that.
The question now would be who blames Xander for Mai’s death. After all, I sorta doubt he’s the one who actually killed her. My original instinct was David, since that’s the guy the MV is about, but that doesn’t quite fit. David idolizes Xander a fair bit, so it feels odd to think he’d blame him for this.
Instead, if this theory is true, I think it makes more sense for Xander to blame himself for Mai’s death. Survivor’s guilt is a huge part of his character (see: the Bonus Episode and the quote on his page), so if he survived the fallout of the HPA Operation when Mai didn’t, he’d be quite heartbroken by it. And thus, he may end up blaming himself for dragging her into the whole mess.
So, that's about it for what we know about Mai's status. But would you believe it if I told you we're not done with the MV yet?
Color Theory
Color theory in the context of the MV refers to this post and reblog by accirax, where she went over every colored lyric in the MV and assigned each color a character based on the characters' color scheme and the lines themselves. I recommend checking out her whole post, it's really good and I won't talk about everything she brought up.
For our purposes, the important color is Mai's. And I agree with accirax that Mai is likely black (the color, not the skin tone). Although the color doesn't show up much in her color scheme, she's a generally cryptic character with a generally cryptic color. But the lines work with Mai better than practically anyone else:
>"You" x3: As pointed out by accirax, everyone is obssessed with Mai, so it sorta fits.
>"The track to the ideal country ->" The arrow points to a passage from "Utopia", btw. This makes sense with the HPA Operation. It's a vaguely revolutionary operation which seeks to improve the world, so you could consider that "the track to the ideal country."
However, we have to talk about the elephant in the room. Her color scheme would still set her up to be red. Maybe yellow if you count her eyes, but red is an important color for her. It wouldn't be unheard of for an important character to have two colors, since David has two. But red is a special color for color theory... because it's completely nonsensical.
Red is by far the most overrepresented color in the MV, having practically double the amount of lines any other colors do. And considering the color, you'd imagine it would either go to Mai, Xander or Veronika. However, no character fits all the lines that well, as explained by accirax in her posts. I explained in this reblog what I believe about this in detail, but essentially, I believe red is intentionally ambiguos, and any given red line can belong to any of the three characters I mentioned.
I'll quickly go over the way I would assign the red lines, but I'll only explain the Mai lines, since I already went into detail on the other ones in that reblog I linked to before. Keep in mind some may apply to multiple characters.
Unassignable: Aa, ah, isn't it?!
Veronika: whatever; go mad x3; broken; go insane?; won't change; original; you've killed so many; medicine; self-denial confessions; self-delusion.
Xander: are all just idiots (final verdict); Bye x2; Goodbye; escape!; together; are all just idiots!; ignorant; great applause!!!; won't change; original; and disappear!; 1; medicine; revolutionary; idiot; self-delusion
Mai: Bye x2; Goodbye; broken; God; and disappear!; medicine; revolutionary, self-denial confessions
I will mention, you can also give her all the "idiot" lines Xander has, as well as "won't change; self-delusion" and all that, since David (the guy presumably "singing") may be somewhat skeptical about Mai and her revolutionary ideas.
>Bye x2, Goodbye, broken, and disappear!: She's probably dead, so. I also inexplicably think "broken" works with her death, but not Xander's. I have no idea why.
>God: The biggest reason why Mai has to be included, the others just aren't as God-ish as Mai (hey, it's like that song!). Not much to say; it's connected to Mai via numeral XI, and I already explained why she could be "God" here.
>Medicine; revolutionary: She's a revolutionary thanks to the HPA Operation, and you could argue that means she's the "medicine" of society.
>Self-denial confessions: Mai works better with this line's original context (revolutionaries being coerced into going back on their ideals) than Veronika, but it still leaves behind the question of what exactly she's denying. Maybe denying the ideals of Ultimates, when she herself is (probably) an Ultimate? Something like that. I guess that could also work with Xander in hindsight.
So, there we go! Full interpretation of Color Theory as it relates to Mai. Wow, that was a lot for very little new info!
We're almost done with the MV, but first, we have to talk about the man himself.
David's Relation to Mai, and his Potential Involvement in the HPA Operation
But first, a side note.
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Does David remember Mai?
There's a theory floating around that David might remember parts of his time at HPA, including Mai's existence. Check out this post by anderscim and reblog by xmicrophonyx if you want a full explanation, but I'll cover the main points here. It's a really good theory, and it's not any less plausible than some of the other theories I'll mention later in the post, but I don't quite believe it.
See, the main evidence for this theory is that the Literature Girl MV includes Mai's face in the portrait and an image of Xander with two eyes, as well as things like the morse code and possibly tally 5 which seem to reference David and Xander's relationship during HPA time. And that's my first issue with the theory, I just don't think the MV can be used for this.
Of course, it comes down to interpretation, but the way I see the MV is as an abstract form of storytelling, not a completely 1:1 view of David’s mind. Essentially, while a lot of it is spoken from the perspective of David, it’s not actually a reflection of his real mental state, but rather a representation for us the audience. It’s hard to describe :v
The main thing that I want to bring up in support of my interpretation is the youtube comments scene, I hope you know what I’m talking about. There’s no way David would be aware of these comments, such as the one referencing the J and Arei swap theory. In particular, the comment talking about (presumably, the names aren’t explicitly written) Teruko as a protagonist is impossible for David to conceive, since there’s no way he would know we see her as the protag; and the ones that namedrop Byakuya, Nagito and Kokichi are practically impossible as well, as Veronika has claimed not to remember any other killing games before the one in DRDT. Kokichi in particular would be problematic depending on your interpretation of V3.
What does this mean? This means that the MV isn’t beyond showing us the audience things outside of David’s own mind, for the sake of storytelling. It’s not hard to imagine, then, that the scene with Xander having two eyes is meant to show us that they had a good relationship in HPA, even if David doesn’t remember it. Same with calling Mai “someone dearly loved.”
There’s also a few things about other characters which don’t quite match what David would know about them in the killing game. For example, Rose’s numeral: II. Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum. (I think therefore I am disturbed). This only really makes sense in the context of Rose’s conversation with Teruko and Nico, where she admits to having trouble separating reality from her memory and her dreams. But David wasn’t there for that. Another example is Teruko’s: XIII. or not to be? Which seems to reference her suicidal tendencies, implied in that one thing she said to Arei. Again, that’s not something David would be aware of during the killing game. 
Either David remembers way more about HPA than implied in the theory, or those are also examples of the MV going beyond David’s mind to continue telling us things about the story.
In xmicrophonyx’s reblog, she also brings up the pre-chapter dialogue as possibly being David’s. I… don’t see it, frankly. The pre-chapter 1 dialogue seems to fit Teruko more, imo.
“Half-remembering is worse than forgetting. Her name, his face…”
We know Teruko doesn’t remember Mai’s name based on the CH 1 EP 6 dream sequence from before, and the “he” could be her brother. Prosopagnosia, and all that. 
And while the chapter 2 dialogue could fit David and his feelings towards Xander  better, there’s nothing which explicitly implies he remembers anything about HPA before the killing game.
I still miss you. I miss you so much that I wish you had never been part of my life. The worst part is, even though you left me like this, there’s nothing I can blame you for.
Also I think that’s Eden but that’s besides the point.
And finally, now that you understand why I don’t think the evidence for isn’t very good, we have to address the evidence against. Mainly, the fact that David doesn’t seem to recognize Xander during his introduction. At all. He even explicitly says, “... I don’t believe we’ve met before”, and calls Xander “sir”. There was no indication at that point that they’d be missing memories, so David has no reason to pretend he doesn’t know who Xander is. In fact, I imagine that if he did remember Xander as having two eyes, and he sees him with an eyepatch, he would react to it in some way, right?
In conclusion, although I like the theory, I don’t think it’s very likely that David’s kept any memories from HPA time.
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Anyways, back to my speculation. There is relatively little reference to Mai in the MV, so it's not like we can get much here, but there is still one thing I want to talk about. And that's the morse code at the end of the MV. As translated by dav-suburbiia:
“YOU STILL BELIEVED IN ME DESPITE EVERYTHING I’VE DONE.” “BUT THAT’S JUST FANTASY, ISN’T IT?” “I SIMPLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID.” “AFTER ALL, I’M INCAPABLE OF BEING SOMEONE WITHOUT YOU.”
Now, most people assume this is about Xander, which is perfectly understandable seeing the context of the MV. However, I think there's an argument to be made that this is actually about Mai.
The main thing here is the apparent contradiction which rises if we assume this is about Xander. The "you" in this code knows what David "has done", but they also seemingly aren't around anymore. If we assume the first is referring to David's "manipulation" thing, then this would have to be about HPA Xanvid, since we've never heard of David confessing his issues to killing game Xander. However, if the "you" really isn't around anymore, this would have to be for killing game Xanvid, since Xander only died in the killing game. Am I making sense?
This isn't conclusive, mind you. You could say the code never explicitly says the "you" is actually gone, just that David can't be someone without them. Or, alternatively, that David did reveal "everything [he's] done" during the killing gmae. But it's still an odd way to phrase all this.
So, is there any evidence this is actually about Mai instead? Well, if you squint. The code is directly followed by footnote 22: "The rest is silence". Silence is the dislike stated in Mai's profile. Word association coming in clutch.
But perhaps more interesting is the phrase "You still believed in me despite everything I've done", combined with:
David: She forgives everyone.
The "you" in the code forgave David, and Mai evidently forgave him as well. It's not conclusive either, but it could be a connection.
Under the interpretation that this is about Mai, it would be related to HPA time. Mai still believed in David, or at least, at one point David believed Mai believed in him, and apparently gave him a purpose in life.
The worrying part about this code is actually the middle. "But that's just fantasy, isn't it? I simply chose to believe that you did". Apparently, it's possible Mai never actually trusted or forgave David, another reason I believe it's possible this isn't actually talking about Xander. As established, Mai can be deceptive when she wants, so it could work. We're missing a lot of information, so what exactly this all would mean is up in the air.
But in any case, it's possible that if David was given purpose by Mai or Xander, he would be involved in the HPA Operation, though how exactly is obviously impossible to know. I know this is really weak, but...
Okay, can we talk about Tally 5 yet? I kinda have to talk about Tally 5. Don't worry, I won't actually post the image.
!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS (NO IMAGE)!!! SCROLL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF TALLY 5!!!
If you've been living under a rock under the past month or so, Tally 5 refers to an image you get to by solving a code related to the "correct/incorrect" code in the David MV and inputting it into a webpage accessed via the QR Code in the MV's books. I won't talk about the puzzle itself here, so if you want to solve it, maybe go do that or just scroll past this part of the post.
Anyways, as I imagine you know by now, Tally 5 shows David holding Xander's jacket with the following quotes under it:
I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.
I threw away my humanity for an ideal that I couldn't understand.
But I don't regret it. To "regret" is to imply that I could have done anything else.
I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place.
So in the end, you're always-
Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I have some sort of infallible exaplanation of what this means. I have several theories about it, and to give you an idea of how insane it is, one of my theories involves quote 3, the one about regret, being said by MonoTV. Don't ask. I might have to do a completely different post about all this, but I'm sorta waiting until I can read some other peoples' thoughts about it.
But for the purposes of this post, this, to me, heavily implies David was involved in the HPA Operation. He's probably talking about Xander here, and Xander's dream would be the HPA Operation, since as I said, it may have been his idea in the first place. That's the ideal David can't understand: an ideal to change a world David sees as immutable.
Now, the lone jacket would imply this isn't the case. It would seem David is saying this in the killing game, after Xander's death, as holding his jacket seems to imply he's gone. However, I don't know what the dream would be in that case. Killing Teruko? It's possible, but I find that unlikely.
So, yeah. Combined with the morse code, here's a full interpretation of what this could mean in relation to Mai:
Mai or Xander somehow learnt of David's true feelings and the way he sees his own actions. She/he forgave him, or at least pretended to forgive him, and this gave David hope. Mai/Xander then introduced David to the HPA Operation, and asked him to do something which would turn him into a villain, asking him to throw away his humanity for an ideal he couldn't understand. What exactly that would be is obviously impossible to know. David accepts, and even when the plan fell through, he doesn't regret doing what he did, because he feels he couldn't have done anything else.
Am I confident in this interpretation? Not really, but it's a plausible interpretation which is related to Mai and the HPA Operation, so I wanted to bring it up. There's a lot there which is probably wrong, but it's what I have for now.
!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS OVER!!! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU WERE AVOIDING THEM!!!
And with that, we’re officially done with the MV! I mean, I may reference it later, but now the bulk of it is gone. Surely this means we can get to some lighter theorizing and-
Teruko Tawaki
Yeah, we gotta talk about the other elephant in the room. Mai and Teruko are clearly connected in an important way.
The first thing to note with them is that they’re generally set up as opposites. Of course, the most straightforward thing is the “dearly loved/dearly unloved” portraits in the MV, but it goes much deeper. Also in the MV, Teruko’s numeral appears right after Mai’s, if that counts for anything.
Another thing is their color scheme. Teruko is mainly associated with green, while Mai is mainly associated with red. And these colors are complimentary; they’re opposite in the color wheel. Not to mention, taking Teruko’s redesign into account, one could associate her with black and Mai, thanks to her uniform and the white camellias, to white. In particular, it’s notable white camellias actually have a white flower, but a black stem. They’re even the same height, at 5’8”! It’s so they can kiss each other in the lips more easily
Additionally, their attitudes from what we’re seeing are also opposite. Mai “forgives everyone”, which means she’s really trusting, while Teruko is (for now) very distrustful. That one’s a bit looser, but eh. May I even go so far, as to say that right now, Teruko represents despair while Mai represents hope? Alright, now I’m reaching, but it fits. Teruko is someone resigned to her horrible fate (luck), while Mai constantly fought for a better world. In fact, Xander, someone Teruko associates with Mai, calls our protag out on her hopeless view of fate… right before stabbing her.
Hell, practically all good things said about Mai? Not true of Teruko (at the moment).
Charles: A girl who loves her family.
Teruko’s an orphan, and doesn’t remember her brother.
Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others.
Well, you could consider people’s faces something important to them, but Teruko has prosopagnosia.
Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone.
If you watched chapter 2, you know this isn’t true of Teruko.
Honestly, I could keep going like this, but I feel you get the point. There’s no reason for me to dwell on this further when you can just read the quotes and figure out how Teruko isn’t described by most of them.
Well, one possible exception is Levi.
Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm.
Yeah, time to talk about this theory.
Theory I Absolutely Believe: Teruko and Mai are Tattoo ‘Bud’dies
(Get it? Because flowers and buds- Yeah, no)
So shoutout to cider-est for first pointing this out in this post, but it’s true. Teruko’s left arm is always fully covered, either by bandages or by her jacket sleeve. Which is especially odd, considering her right jacket sleeve is always rolled up.
And it’s especially odd, because her left arm is covered even in the jacket-off reference picture.
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And yes, there is a suspicious question mark next to Teruko’s left arm. It ain’t even subtle.
But if there’s still any doubt left in your mind, let skulemojee dispel it in this post, where they point out this image from Ch 2 Ep 2:
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Yep, you’re seeing that right. Those black lines on Teruko’s left arm look a suspicious lot like the stems of Mai’s tattoo. It's not perfect, since we can't see any flowers and that may just be scars, but we never get a good enough look at the back of Mai's left arm to know if the flowers are tattooed on the forearm, or if only the stems reach that far.
(Also, Teruko in this scene says she doesn’t remember that scar in her back. Part of me thinks it’s related to Mai and the time of the missing memories, but the more rational side of me tells me I need to chill and stop seeing Mai everywhere)
It's also worth noting this would explain the choice of camellias for the tattoo. Remember, although they represent death in Japan, they mainly represent platonic adoration and respect. A very pretty thing to get matching tattoos with your bestie. But since they're not colored they could be interpreted as red and thus romantic for the shippers
So, yeah. I believe they share a tattoo. Which gives a whole lot of context to the quote.
Teruko: Some years ago, she was looking for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki'
In case it wasn’t clear before with the way Mai smiled at Teruko in that dream sequence, or the way Teruko associated Xander with Mai before she got stabbed by him, the fact they possibly share a tattoo implies they knew each other for a while and had a good relationship with each other. Another indication is that Teruko's favorite color, in the latest Q&A, is stated to be red by association. Sorry Xanruko shippers, that's clearly about Mai, since Teruko associates Xander with Mai in the first place.
What exactly the timeline of this mess is, is... complicated if the tattoo thing is true. Because that would require Teruko and Mai to have gotten the tattoo when at least Teruko was 18, both in Japan and the US. In some states of the US, she would be able to get it at a younger age if she got parental consent, but... what parents? She's an orphan.
In fact, when does that dream sequence take place? Is it Hope's Peak time? Can't be, because Teruko wouldn't remember it. Actually, why doesn't Teruko remember Mai's name is Mai had been searching for her for a while?
Yeah, I can't pin down anything specific about their relationship. Obviously I can't, this is a big mystery and we're only in Chapter 2. The best I can give you is that their relationship was clearly very positive, even before HPA.
...
Which is what makes this line so weird.
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Mai: Hang on, "real Ultimate talent?" You're the Ultimate Student! I mean, it's not like you're a "Lucky Student" who was picked by lottery.
This line is really odd, isn't it? It seems uncharacteristically mean for Mai, to dismiss someone else's talent so readily. And Teruko's in particular, when again, they clearly liked each other well enough before HPA. This almost reads more like something Mai would say about herself rather than someone else...
Huh.
Theory: Mai, the Second Ultimate Lucky Student
As established before, Mai has a slight self-depricative streak, where she says things about herself she would never say about one of her friends. So, the fact she's so quick to dismiss the Ultimate Lucky Student as a concept could imply she is the Ultimate Lucky Student. (ULS)
Of course, the first question is how this would work with Teruko. A HPA class only has one ULS, and Teruko's there. I've seen others suggest perhaps Mai was the ULS at Japan's HPA, which is apparently still a high school, so it's possible for her to go there and then go to US HPA, which is more like college.
However, I actually think there's an easier explanation. Mai and Teruko both went to US' HPA at the same time. They just went to different ones.
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Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...
Yeah! Did you forget there's two HPAs in the US?! Because I sure did! I swear, I rewatched that Bonus Episode like 5 times before I caught that. How does this thing keep spawning in information?
I believe this is why Min specifically calls their class East Class 27. Seeing as this is in the US, I imagine there's likely an East Coast HPA and a West Coast HPA. But what would be the point of splitting the school like this? There's no reason the dev couldn't just keep them as just one HPA... unless there's a reason.
Because with two classes of the same age, there has to be two ULS of the same age.
Now, of course, it's possible West Class 27 is completely irrelevant to the story, but if you assume Mai is East Class 27's ULS and Teruko went to west coast HPA, a lot of things start to make sense. Have you ever wondered how Mai could have been in the same class as everyone else, when HPA usually only have 16 students? Well, it's because one (or more, possibly) just went to another class.
This also explains why we have to get this particular detail from a Bonus Episode. Although all the characters have talked about going to HPA, no one ever mentions which HPA they were invited to. It seems like a weirdly specific detail to omit, unless there’s a reason for it. Because if most of them were part of East Coast HPA, and one of them wasn’t, it would immediately stand out as strange to the cast.
And Mai does have some connections to luck. I mean, of course she does, her story is closelly intertwined with Teruko. For example, remember her birthday? February 1st? I told it'd be relevant, right? Well, as pointed out by fuji-iri in this post, on that day, there's 333 days left of the year. 3 is a number associated with bad luck, but there's also associations to "parting ways" and the three stages of life (birth-marriage apparently-death), again explained in the post I linked. That works with Mai and Teruko splitting up... whenever that happened, as well as Mai possbly dying, but the luck thing in particular is notable.
Now, the main reason I believed this before was just that "it's not like you're a 'Lucky Student' line", but as I researched this, I may have found something else? Except, it may just be me being horrible at code and getting really confused. If anyone can confirm or deny this, it'd be great.
Here's what happened. I noticed that when you look up Mai's name in Google, the text under the link to her page had Teruko's hidden quote: "It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all." So I went into the code again.
First, I right-clicked on the title (Mai's name) and clicked "inspect". I expanded the "<head>" section (God I'm bad at this), and found this under <meta name>.
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meta name="descripttion" content="Mai Akasaki Ultimate ??? "There's a way for you to be happy." It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all. The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..."
Now, at first, I assumed this was just a coding quirk where for some reason, I was seeing the text of the next character or something.
But, I checked some the other characters, and none of the ones I checked have the same style of text. Look, I'll transcribe some.
Teruko:
meta name="descripttion" content="Teruko Tawaki Ultimate Lucky Student “I will survive this, no matter what!” The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of “Lucky Student,” it seems like the only luck Teruko has is bad luck..."
Xander:
meta name="descripttion" content="Xander Matthews Ultimate Rebel “Screw the rules!” Loud in both voice and personality, Alexander “Xander” Matthews earned the title of Ultimate Rebel through his consistent tendency to go against the..."
MonoTV:
meta name="descripttion" content="MonoTV “Ultimate TV Show Host” “I’m the most beloved character in the cast!” A strange robot with a television for a head. MonoTV claims to be the “Ultimate TV Show Host” who is in charge of an..."
I also checked Veronika, Whit and Nico, but didn't check any more since the pattern's easy to see.
As you can see, usually this section of the code just has the name, the subtitle quote, and part of the body text. None of them have the secret quote, unlike Mai's, which has the quote which is supposed to be Teruko's. But Teruko's name or subtitle quote is never brought up in Mai's "meta name" thing.
Again, maybe I'm missing something, but it really looks like that is meant to be some kind of description of Mai.
It sort of fits. Teruko's quote about trust can fit Mai, hell, is completed by Mai. Teruko usually shows the failing of trusting no one, but Mai may be meant to show the failing of trusting everybody. Mai is also important enough that calling her "the protagonist" is fitting enough.
And, if that really is about Mai, then the final portion is confirmation. "Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..." If this is about Mai, then Mai is unequivocally an ULS.
Again, I don't consider this conclusive because I am an idiot and could very easily be wrong. The wording is exactly the same's as Teruko's, so again, it may be a coding oddity. But with all the other stuff I mentioned, I can at least say this is the theory for Mai's talent I believe the most: She's East Class 27's ULS, while Teruko went to West Coast HPA as their ULS.
Anyways, anything else about Teruko? Oh, yeah, a final sub-theory on her.
Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Teruko's to Blame
Take a look at the 2nd Anniversary picture.
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[The three frames of the 2 year anniversary "video"]
Okay, I know you can't see shit here, but I'm running out of the 30 image limit. Check out lacunasweven's post where she discovered this (to my knowledge), and stfu-sage's reblog where he solved the code.
When solved, that code translates to “It’s all your fault”, which you may remember as MonoTV’s line about Mai.
So, Teruko reaches out for Mai, then “it’s all your fault” appears for a frame or two, and then suddenly Mai’s gone. It’s not exactly hard to imagine that this means Teruko is at fault for Mai’s death, or at least whatever consequences the HPA Operation had. How exactly is impossible to know, because again, it’s a mystery we’re not meant to solve yet. I have a gut feeling it’s probably related to Teruko’s luck, but that’s all it is, a gut feeling.
This doesn’t conflict the “Xander’s at fault” idea, if you’re curious. It’s possible for multiple people to consider themselves at fault for Mai’s death. Xander for bringing her into the HPA Operation, Teruko for her luck or whatever else happened.
Although… yeah, we gotta talk about that right? The scene before the prologue.
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I can’t say anything definitive, because again, not something we’re meant to figure out at the moment. But I can tell you what I think.
First, the PoV character is probably Xander. There’s a bloody fork there, and while I’m not the one who came up with the idea, (see: anderscim's post about this) that’s likely the weapon which was used to take out his eye. His wounds do look suspiciously fork-like, though I struggle to explain it without images, and I’m already stretching thin to make the image limit. I’ll have to ask you to look it up yourself.
Anyways, that may be Xander, and this may be the incident where Xander lost his eye. The reason I’m bringing it up is that, since Xander is involved, there’s a chance this is somehow related to the HPA Operation. Here’s a full transcript of what’s said:
... Fuck!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts... Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.
So, a woman attacked Xander unexpectedly, managed to overpower him and stab his eyes out with a fork, then presumably ran away. And this all seemingly happened in some form of killing game. And Xander already wanted to kill Teruko.
I doubt Teruko was the one who attacked Xander. Because Xander calls her out by name at the end, and also because, how would Teruko be able to overpower Xander? Unless you “divine luck” your way into an explanation, I just don’t see it. In any case, it’s probably a different woman. Without knowing anything about the previous killing game, we can’t know much about this situation.
However, the fact that Xander already wanted to kill Teruko here is notable because it seems to imply this killing game happened after Mai's death. After all, Mai and Teruko had a good relationship, right? So Xander wouldn't have a grudge against her until after the HPA Operation fell through. The final conclusion here is that Teruko somehow caused Mai's death, which somehow led to the pre-series killing game. I think? Obviously, it's impossible to say anything conclusive here, and I don't even know what exactly the connection would be between Mai's death and the previous killing game.
And with that, we finish discussion of Teruko.
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Quick Side Note: The Mai-stermind Theory
I’m not funny.
So, in case it isn’t clear yet by the fact I keep assuming she's dead, I don’t think Mai is the mastermind of the killing game. I’m aware it’s a possibility, seeing as she’s very mysterious and all that, but frankly, I just have never seen anyone seriously bring up this possibility, since there’s essentially no evidence. It’s also important to note, even if she is a mastermind, she can’t be the only mastermind, since we know one of the participants of the killing game is a mastermind as well.
To be fair, I did notice some connections to MonoTV while researching. Like I mentioned at one point, they’re the only characters without any highlighted words in their subtitle quotes. And the secret quote in MonoTV’s page is “Her name is Mai Akasaki”, but frankly that feels a bit too… unsubtle. Also... no, actually that’s kinda it.
I’ve also seen some people attribute the “teacher” speech to Mai, but I really don’t think that’s her. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the text in the code of the About page for DRDT on Tumblr. Here’s a post about it by delightfullydiscordant. I won't go into their theory on it, since it's unrelated to Mai. As you'll see, there’s nothing intrinsically relating the speech to our girl, and nothing in the text suggest she’s the one speaking, so I don’t think it’s related.
With what we know of Mai, I don’t think it makes sense to call her the mastermind. I’m only bringing it up now to be thorough, and because I didn’t know where else to put it :v
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Other Characters, Miscellaneous Connections
Essentially just me talking about all the characters I haven’t covered yet, to see if any of them could have a connection to Mai or the HPA Operation than what may seem at first.
Already talked about: Xander, Teruko, David
No Evidence of Connection Beyond ‘Classmates’: Rose, Arturo, Levi, Hu, Nico, Ace, Arei, Min
What this means is that while it’s technically possible these characters are related to Mai and the HPA Operation, right now we don’t have any indication of it. Sorry. That doesn’t mean I don’t have things to say about them.
Arturo is usually so mean that, honestly, the fact he says anything positive about Mai at all makes me wonder if he may actually be related. Reminds me a bit of David’s quote, I guess. But maybe I’m just biased because I want this guy to be plot-relevant.
I guess Levi mentioning the tattoo in his line could be important, but unless he has the tattoo too (which is possible I guess, but I don’t quite see it), I don’t know what it could mean.
I could actually see Hu’s and Ace’s lines implying a connection to the HPA Operation, honestly. Seeing as they’re some of the only people who actually talk about her in the past tense, I think it’s possible they were involved. Hu would want to help Mai if she felt she “wanted to keep everyone safe”, for what it’s worth. I sorta hope Hu is plot-relevant too.
Even if Mai is talking to Arei in her current subtitle quote, I don’t see much evidence Arei would be involved in the HPA Operation.
You may be wondering about my old theory about the Sleepy MV and how it could tie back to Mai, and while I still think it's a possibility, I frankly don't believe it anymore. It requires a very specific reading of the song which I don't think is entirely accurate, and there isn't actually much connecting the MV to Mai. I still think Min's line being so overly insistent on Mai being "an average girl with nothing special at all about her" could imply their relationship may have broken down because of the HPA Operation, which makes sense. If Xander engineered the plan, obviously Min will dislike it on principle. But that's probably me trying to make Min more plot relevant than she actually is.
Only Connected via “Original Killing Game” Theory: Charles, J, possibly Ace and Arei
What the hell am I talking about? In the Color Theory reblog I mentioned earlier, I described a wild theory that quite a few of the characters we know were actually involved in that pre-prologue killing game, and we can learn who those characters are thanks to the word "original". Sound insane? It is. I won't go over the reasoning here, I'll ask you check the reblog I linked.
This is the "Original Killing Game" Theory, and it's one of the most far-fetched theories I've ever enginereed. But since it's sorta connected, I thought I'd mention it. The characters involved are Charles, Veronika or Ace, David, Teruko, J/Arei, Xander, MonoTV, Whit. I’ve already talked about some of these, and don’t think MonoTV is worth talking about, frankly.
So, why am I only bringing up Charles and J for now, as well as potentially Ace and Arei since they could actually be part of the theory depending on how you interpret the colors? Well, these are the only ones in the “original killing game” theory who I don’t think have any evidence of being connected with Mai any further. Since that theory is already insane to start with, and it’s possible Mai was already dead when that killing game started, I don’t think it tells us anything.
Although sometimes I wonder if J’s quote is talking about something other than Mariabella, but at the moment, I have no clue what that would be. So that’s still the likeliest possibility.
Eden: Eden
Eden, huh? In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been sorta dancing around Eden’s line a bit, because… like, what in the actual fuck does it mean.
Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.
It’s such an odd line. It’s nothing like the other ones, which you’d think would make it significant, but it’s just… cryptic. I’m sorry, but while I think this probably means something, I don’t have a good answer of what it could be.
… Well, there is the one thing.
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Crack Theory: Mai the Girl Kisser
This theory states that Mai is the girl mentioned in Eden’s secret, the one the Clockmaker kissed.
See? Theorizing’s easy! Just grab a random character we don’t know anything about, and slap Mai on top of it like a bandaid!
I’m aware the dev has sorta poked fun at people like me who see an unknown face and instantly jump on Mai, but at least this one has a bit more reasoning. Mainly, that I just don’t know what else Eden’s quote could be referring to.
Consider this concept: Eden and Mai kiss at some indeterminate point before HP, and Eden freaks out. She gets extremely worried about how Mai’s going to react, and she runs away. Mai tries to contact her afterwards, but Eden was avoiding her. Still, “[Mai] kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up”.
Is this essentially just fanfiction at this point? Practically, yeah, but I have nothing else.
On the insane off-chance this is true, it would come with certain implications. It would mean Eden and Mai had met before going to HPA, which is… uh, something. If it helps, that would mean their relationship would have a “new beginning” at HPA, and Eden’s character has some themes of new beginnings. Her birthday is on December 31st, so New Years, and her favorite color is daffodil yellow, when daffodils represent new beginnings. It’s small, but it’s there.
(And if you know who I am, you know I believe Eden killed Arei to reunite with the girl of her secret (long story). Mai helps here because of course she would have enough rizz to make a good girl go bad, have you seen how everyone talks about her? She would get all the bitches!)
Anyways, again, this is extremely silly, but it’s sort of the only thing I can think of for Eden’s line, so for now, have it. If anyone’s got better ideas, I’m more than open to hear them.
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A Connection is More Plausible: Veronika, Whit
In no particular order, these are the characters, apart from Xander and Teruko and David, which I think have an actual chance of being involved with Mai and the HPA based on what we know so far. Let’s go a bit more in depth.
Veronika’s Peculiar Problem of Popping Up Fucking Everywhere
It is insane how many times I’ve brought up Veronika in this post without being able to pinpoint why exactly she keeps appearing. She shares the color red with Xander and Mai in my version of Color Theory, though admittedly that may just be her hair. She’s in the “original killing game” under that theory. Hell, she’ll show up again when I talk about Whit.
But by far, the most concerning thing about her is her line in the Mai page.
Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.
I’ve mentioned this line before, of course, because it’s clearly related to the HPA Operation’s fallout. In fact, it’s the only line apart from Xander’s and MonoTV’s which explicitly reference it. This could easily imply she was involved somehow, either as someone helping Mai and Xander, or actually going against them in some way. Whatever is more entertaining for her, I imagine.
There are two issues with this. One, I cannot discount the possibility that Veronika got that creepy and ominous line because she’s the creepy and ominous character, and it doesn’t actually mean anything for Veronika herself. It’s a very real possibility.
Two, even if she is involved, there’s nothing we have which could help narrow down what she did. Again, she’s too unpredictable.
In other words, while I’m putting Veronika here with the vague idea that she could be connected to it all, I don’t have any concrete theories.
Though maybe I should address the one Veronika-Mai theory which exists, for the sake of completion.
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Crack Theory: Veronika Is Mai
To be clear, I don’t believe this. It’s pretty clear to me that Veronika is her own character with her own backstory. But I still want to point out some connections to show you how insane I’m going writing this.
+They’re both the same height (5’8”) and have long red hair. This is enough for my prosopagnosic ass to confuse them if they change hairstyle. Their weights and birthdays are different, but weight can change and birthdays can be lied about. Their chest sizes are different, though, so I’m pretty sure that rules out this theory already.
+Speaking of birthdays, August 7th, Veronika’s birthday, happens to be 7 months away from Teruko’s birthday on January 7th. 7? Lucky number. Lucky Student. Word association -> Mai.
+Veronika covers both her arms, so no tattoo would be visible.
+Veronika asks Teruko if she would recognize her were she to wear contacts, a wig and different clothes. This could imply she is, and would therefore be Mai.
+Her pose in the character profiles is vaguely similar to Mai’s, but flipped. This is interesting because no other character’s pose is even close.
+She wears a small earring given to her by someone named “Alyssa Belyaeva”. This by itself means nothing, but the earring is a small green triangle she considers a good luck charm. Luck?! And triangles have three sides. 3?! That number we said was unlucky and related to Mai before? And green. Green?! Teruko! Auasfruryg- <- short-circuiting from thinking too much.
+Veronika has plain brown eyes. Come on, have you seen this cast’s eyes? Those are absolutely contacts.
+Her hidden quote about people being broken could refer to the hopeful Mai being broken into Veronika as a result of the HPA Operation’s consequences.
Yeah, most of this is pretty silly, but again, I don’t think this theory is very likely, so I’m just poking fun at how suspicious Veronika can be at times.
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Whit and Tetraphobia
At first, it doesn't really seem like Whit is too involved in this. I mean, his quote is pretty inoffensive:
Whit: A girl with many friends.
And sure, he is the Original Killing Game Theory, but even if that's somehow true, it's no guarantee he's involved in the HPA Operation or anything. Nothing really seems to connect him to Mai...
Except the one thing.
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XV. Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"¹⁵?
XV is Whit's Roman numeral, and again it isn't too strange on its own. Other than being the only numeral to ever show up alongside another numeral, in this case Veronika's because of course it's Veronika's.
The issue is the background text. It's hard to see, but there's faint pink text saying "subtract 4, due to tetraphobia⁴". Footnote 4 simply defines tetraphobia, which is the practice of avoiding the number 4, as it's considered a number related to death, and is seen as unlucky. Of course, the fours themselves are colored green for Teruko, presumably.
But the important part is, what does this mean? The most straightforward idea is to subtract four from the numerals on screen, or perhaps the footnote?
For the footnote: Subtracting 15 - 4 = 11, quick math, and that's the footnote which talks about being an only child and that (presumably) Diana Chiem never existed. I... don't think that makes too much sense for this scene, frankly.
For Veronika's numeral, subtracting XIV (14) - 4 = 10. That's Min's numeral, which shows up in the part of the MV most directly tied to class trials. This could simply imply she enjoys the trials and the bloodshed, and it also looks somewhat mastermind-y, but that's not really new for Veronika. You could also do this one more literally, taking out 4 from 14 and ending up with 1, connecting her to Xander, and at this point I'm not surprised.
But, of course. The tetraphobia line only shows up when Whit's numeral does, and it's colored in the pink associated to him via Color Theory, though of course, being background text, the tetraphobia line isn't actually included in that theory. That would seem to imply it's about him, right?
Well, in the same vein as before, if you subtract XV (15) - 4 = 11 (XI). And... that's Mai's numeral, attached to the line "God is dead". So, uh-
Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Whit's to Blame
The idea that maybe Whit was somehow involved in Mai's death. By the end of the series, I'm gonna end up blaming half the cast for this, apparently.
So, the tetraphobia thing is the most straightforward piece of evidence towards this possibility, but there's a bit more. For one, in the recent Q&A, it was stated that Whit's least favorite color is gray because it's boring, and that's the color of Mai's numeral. Remember how I pointed out it's actually one of the only numerals to be colored? Yeah.
Furthermore, Whit's numeral appears right before Mai's, but that may just be the way the song works out, since LGI wasn't made for DRDT. However, remember that "become brainwashed: go do it!" line I said was directly after Mai's numeral? Yeah, the word brainwashed is color coded pink, connecting it to Whit via Color Theory. And, if that wasn't enough, in the section for footnote five, the one with the Japanese characters? The word blood shows up, in pink, as the song speaks about revolutionaries. Yes, DR blood is pink usually, but there is red blood in the MV (near the snake), and the characters canonically see it as dark red (since that's the stated reason why dark red is Xander's and Charles' least favorite color). My point is, the dev could have made the blood red there, and/or just written the symbol for blood in red, but since it's pink, Color Theory ends up connecting it to Whit.
All of this could point to Whit as another culprit of Mai's death, but don't jump to conclusions. For one, since we have no clue about the circumstances, perhaps he only accidentally caused the death. We've seen that Teruko is also likely to blame in some way, probably in a similar fashion. And because it may have been accidental, this also doesn't mean Whit has to be the mastermind. It makes him look oddly suspicious, sure, but nothing too damning.
And of course, there's a huge chance I'm reading too much into things. There are other explanations for brainwashed and blood, and it's still totally possible that the tetraphobia thing refers to Veronika or even the footnote.
A Summary of Her Story, So Far
To end things off, I'll go over everything I've concluded with what we know so far, though of course I know we're missing a lot, and that a ton of this is also probably wrong. Here's how this is going to work.
Regular text means this is something we pretty much know for sure.
Italics means it's a theory I'm quite convinced of.
[Brackets mean I'm relatively unsure about something]
*Asterisks mean the theory is insanely unlikely, and it can probably just be assumed false*
{Braces are for flavor text, you can ignore this for theorizing purposes}
Closing Argument
>Mai was born February 1st, 20--, to a nice family she loved. We know little about her childhood, but [it's possible she was friends with or somehow got interested in a girl named Teruko Tawaki. However, fate kept them apart for years]. But Mai was not easily deterred, she would search for and find Teruko, no matter what.
>*As she searched for Teruko Tawaki, she met a girl named Eden Tobisa. They kissed, but Eden freaked out and ran away. Mai tried contacting her, she kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.*
>At some point before Hope's Peak, her and Teruko reunited. *Even when Teruko couldn't recognize her and even struggled to remember her name*, Mai still remembered everything that was important for Teruko, as she always did.
>Mai and Teruko, loving each other so much, decided to get matching floral tattos on their arms. White camellias, a symbol of adoration and respect.
>{But fate really didn't like to see them together.} Soon, Teruko received a letter, teling her she was chosen as the Ultimate Lucky Student of Hope's Peak's [West Class 27]. This was uncharacteristically good luck for Teruko, who before had to hop around schools, always stealing uniforms, just to get an education.
>{The problem?} At the same time, Mai received a letter that she was invited to join Hope's Peak's East Class 27 as their Ultimate Lucky Student, on the other side of the country. Mai never really cared much about Ultimates or Hope's Peak, {but Teruko insisted it was too good of an opportunity for either of them to pass up. They decided to keep in contact,} as Mai headed to East Coast Hope's Peak.
>Alexander Matthews is scouted as the Ultimate Rebel. David Chiem is scouted as the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.
>At Hope's Peak, despite being an average girl with nothing special at all about her, she quickly became a girl with many friends. She saw the beauty in everyone, and everyone agreed she had a bright future. Everyone confided in her, J even telling her about her mother, something which Mai kept secret, and told no one.
(Okay, maybe fitting in all the quotes isn't as easy as I hoped it'd be)
>*She even reunited with Eden, and they decided their relationship would have a new beginning*.
>However, she also met a very interesting boy: Xander Matthews. He had gone to Hope's Peak with one goal in mind: revolution. He confided in her, as they all did, his issues with Hope's Peak and the system it was built upon. Mai was revolted by the truth, and asked what she could do to help. She couldn't stand to do nothing. She wanted to keep everyone safe.
>With that, the HPA Operation started.
>They started small; stealing a few documents here and there. [But their plans grew bolder over time.]
>[Along the way, they discovered something shocking]. David, who always spoke of change and hope, was hiding his true feelings. He didn't see himself as human, not being able to relate to his peers as the others did. He saw himself as a manipulative bastard for lying to all the people he gave speeches to. He hated himself, and expected Mai and Xander to hate him, too.
>[But they didn't. Xander still saw the best in him, and Mai? Well, Mai forgives everyone. And to make him see the good in himself, they asked him to help in the HPA Operation]
>He didn't understand it, not really. The world wouldn't change, no matter what Mai and Xander told him. But even though he didn't understand, he still wanted to help them.
>As the popular Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, David had more connections and influence than a simple Rebel or Lucky Student. That meant he could offer things to the Operation the other two couldn't, even if it was through... less than moral means. But to David, that was no object. He would become a villain in pursuit of their dream, throw away his humanity for this ideal. It's not like he could have ever been human, anyways.
>*Not everyone was as receptive, though. Min in particular, after finding out about the plan somehow, got quite angry with Xander and Mai. It wasn't unusual for the Student and the Rebel to disagree, but Mai still didn't like it when her friends fought*
>Mai knew it was risky, she really did. But nothing could prepare her for what was about to happen. She didn't foresee the consequences.
>[When Teruko was visiting], the HPA Operation faced a huge issue. A plan gone wrong, a variable miscalculated. And, with Teruko to blame, [and possibly Whit] *and Veronika, who got dragged into this mess at some point*, Mai died.
>{Chaos ensued. Mai's death broke the class, reverberating through the students like the rumbling of a fallen god's corpse. "It's all your fault!" Xander screamed at Teruko,} hiding that he felt responsible for her death as well. After all, he was the one who had dragged her along. And now, he was once again left alive to mourn a death he himself narrowly avoided. Talk about survivor's guilt.
>[One thing led to another, and a killing game was set up]. Xander and Teruko got stuck in it, with Xander losing his eye as he tried everything he could to end the game, or at least kill Teruko. *Charles, Veronika/Ace, David, J/Arei and Whit might have also present in this killing game, ran by MonoTV.*
>More stuff happened, and finally, the students all lost their memories and wound up in the killing game we follow throuhout the series.
>A shattered dream, a tragic fate, a broken hope. Though mystery continues to shroud her existence and her role in the story, for now, this is my final conclusion on the story of: Mai Akasaki, the Ultimate ???
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Holy hell this was pain to write. I don't want to make another post this complicated for a while. Jesus. This broke my soul.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings, if you really were strong enough to put up with my madness for this long. I still want to hear any thoughts you may have, since this character is really interesting and cool and fun to theorize about.
But for now, I leave. Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, then just know, Mai would be proud of you! And you should know, because you should practically be a scholar on her by now. Take care!
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floridaboiler · 2 years ago
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TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE
I got this in an email a week or so ago.  Enjoy.  1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to. 3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.' 4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and almonds. 6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 9    Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years,   will this matter?' 17. Forgive everyone for everything. 18. What other people think of you is none of your business. 19. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 20. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 21. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 22. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:    I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________. 23. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
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pico-farad · 2 months ago
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This Time on Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains Analysis: How the Fuck Did Aoi's Writing Get Worse
Got sidetracked by GX Week, but I'm back to talk about Aoi again, because oh boy...
So for season 1, I'd heard the rumors of how they screwed her over, and they were mostly in line with the ways I expect Yugioh female characters to be failed by the writers. Overall I still liked Aoi and, while I found some decisions distasteful, I didn't think the actual quality of her writing was worse than other characters'.
Aoi's writing in season 2 is several times worse than it was in season 1. It's truly a disaster, amateurish and baffling, in a way that I think most viewers don't even consciously realize. And while it may not be the worst moment in Yugioh -- it is, in my opinion, the worst writing I've ever seen in Yugioh.
Anyway, that's how I wrote 4k words descending into Aoi madness. Enjoy!
---
Before I begin, a fair warning: I'm gonna say some harsh things in this post. Because being mean is funny, and I deserve it after what I just watched.
But I also want say up front that I don't think the Vrains writers are bad writers, and I still have respect for them. Writing for children's television is grueling work that I could never do, and there are many reasons why bad art is released into the world besides simple writing skill. Vrains clearly had a troubled production, and I have other suspicions about why it turned out the way it did. If there's interest, I think that could be its own post, too.
Also, I refer to the "writers" in this post when I criticize Vrains's storytelling, but to be clear, directors, producers, storyboarders, and others can have just as much influence over the show's story as writers, or even more so. I use the term writers for convenience's sake.
Without further ado...
⇀ Losing My Mind Immediately
Akira lets Aoi go into the restricted area, which nobody has ever returned from.
Ahem... WHO ARE YOU??? Why is Akira, overprotective onii-san numero uno, extremely willing to put his sister on house arrest for her own safety, has never given Aoi his permission to fight, suddenly letting her go off into a danger zone with a 0% survival rate, right after she lost to Spectre immediately in the Tower of Hanoi conflict.
Oh, so now you think she's capable? Why???
Not only that, they make Ghost Girl be the one to say it's too dangerous for her. What?? Ghost Girl is the one who encouraged Aoi to sneak out and into the danger zone in season 1. These are literally the last two characters who would say these things to Aoi.
Then, when they enter the restricted area, Aoi immediately gives up her emergency logout program to an NPC. Normally I'd brush this off. Naivety being used to emphasize female characters' moral virtuosity is passé, but it's not a big deal. It wouldn't be, if the next 30 seconds didn't make me completely go off the rails. This is the speech that is possibly the worst writing, line by line, that I have ever seen in Yugioh.
Roll the tape...
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Aoi: Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child. I took on Hanoi for my brother, but look how that turned out. I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me. I was full of myself, thinking I can do anything on my own, but in truth, the world is full of people and we're all connected. Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone. I'll become stronger, so this time, I'll do everything I can!
Literally none of these sentences make sense... Half of them aren't even true. It reads like ChatGPT asked to write a shonen speech -- the facade of being inspiring, but ultimately empty and nonsensical.
"I took on Hanoi for my brother," This is blatantly false. She had a whole goddamn episode focused on why she decides to fight Hanoi, it's her duel with Baira, and it's specifically about how she's not doing this for her brother, she's not doing this for herself, she's doing this for everyone. If anything, she disregards her brother in order to fight Hanoi.
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Blue Angel: I learned something from my duels. When people believe in you, you're fighting for everyone. So I will fight for everyone from now on!
Sound familiar? It's the same goddamn thing she's saying right now, "this time, I want to save everyone." Why are they framing this as Aoi having a new realization, having learned her lesson? What they demonstrate with this is that Aoi hasn't learned her lesson. The reason she lost to Spectre is because trying to save everyone includes trying to save him, and he takes advantage of her naivety.
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Blue Angel: You're the same as me... When you were alone, you sought love, and Blue Angel's blue is the ultimate love! Blue Angel will descend into your heart, and save your soul! Spectre: Really? *bows mockingly* Please, then, save my soul!
Naively trying to save others is exactly what she's doing right now, by thoughtlessly giving away her emergency logout in a place that nobody has ever returned from. Her character has gone completely backwards. I said in my last post that losses are good because we get to see characters grow -- I stand by the opinion that they could have made the Spectre loss work -- but they've bungled it on three different levels. She loses horribly, then they retcon her reason for losing, in order to make her character regress.
Apparently, the real reason Aoi lost to Spectre, is because "she was full of herself, thinking she could do anything on her own." I'm so mad. First of all, Aoi clearly wasn't acting on her own and never thought she was, Go and Yusaku were both fighting Hanoi too. Why are they acting like Aoi lost because of hubris?
You know who thought he could do everything on his own? Yusaku. But clearly he didn't need to learn that "the world is full of people and we're all connected." He clearly believed the opposite, because he did everything by himself and tried to reject allyship at every turn and yet lo and behold, he hasn't lost a single duel.
"Everyone saved me. So this time, I want to save everyone." NO, LITERALLY ONE PERSON SOLO'D HANOI, AND EVERYONE ELSE DID JACK SHIT. This resolution that Aoi comes to not only regresses her character, but it makes no goddamn sense. Who is the everyone you're talking about, Aoi? Are they in the room with us right now?
Who am I kidding, it's obvious who the "everyone" is, because as she says it, the clip that plays is Akira's manpain as Aoi gets turned into data. Because even in this moment that has nothing to do with Akira, the writers cannot resist bending Aoi's character to revolve around how much she loves her beloved onii-san, even though it makes no sense in this context of trying to save a random NPC. 
Frankly, the whole "everyone saved me" also makes no sense in the context of trying to save a random NPC. But like, even less sense than that, because the actual context of this "heartfelt" shonen speech is that she's trying to get Ghost Girl to give up her emergency logout button. Ghost Girl, established to be self-serving and willing to throw others under the bus to advance herself. Why does this speech convince her? It doesn't even have anything to do with her.
Great, so now not only have they botched Aoi's character, but for the rest of the show, Ghost Girl is stripped of the characteristics that actually made her engaging.
If they wanted Aoi to convince Ghost Girl to give up her escape program and become more selfless, it's simple. Have her say, "We saved you." Ghost Girl wouldn't be standing here right now, if Aoi and the others hadn't risked everything to save everyone.
There's more I could pick on about these 30 seconds, like how the writers aren't content with handing Aoi a humiliating loss, but they also make her act like she deserved to be "humbled" by that experience: "Recent events have taught me that I'm still a child," "I troubled everyone, and they needed to save me." It's like they're not content with infantilizing her in the narrative, they need to make sure she infantilizes herself.
Which brings me back to the point about Aoi's "hubris." Because what is implied by saying that Aoi lost because of hubris when nothing she said or did suggested that, is that it was hubris for Aoi to fight at all. It was hubris for Aoi, and the audience, to believe she could do anything. Which is just maddening.
And to top it all off, to add insult to indignity to injury to insanity, she finishes her speech by saying, "I'll become stronger! This time, I'll do everything I can!"
AND THEN. SHE LOSES. IN THE NEXT EPISODE.
This speech reads like a bad influencer apology. First they "admit" their mistake (that Blue Angel didn't do anything in the Hanoi fight), then they deflect and change the story about what actually happened (it's because she was being full of herself! That's definitely why she lost), and finally they promise to do better (don't worry, this season, Aoi will get stronger and get some wins!), but they don't.
I can talk more about how the writers give Aoi shallow girlboss speeches instead of actually demonstrating her strength in duels, but that will come when I talk about Blue Maiden. 
Right now... it's time to talk about Blue Girl vs. Soulburner.
⇀ What's in a re-introductory duel?
Something that's pretty standard in Yugioh is the concept of the season 2 "re-introductory duel." Think Shou's promotion duel in GX, the filter episodes that came before the World Grand Prix arc started, the Sector Security battle royale in Arc-V. They can be story-relevant, or completely filler, but the point is to re-familiarize you with the main supporting characters. If you look at the first 10 episodes of a Yugioh season 2, you'll generally see all the main supporting characters represented in a duel. And if they aren't, it may reveal something about how relevant they are to the writers (Misawa GX, Ruka 5D's, Yuzu Arc-V...)
Go gets his re-introductory duel against Soulburner, and though I have my issues with how they handled Go in Season 2, which I went into in my previous post, it succeeds in every way a re-introductory duel should. It addresses the transition of his character between seasons, sets up his conflict for this season, introduces his new cards, adds character to Soulburner, and establishes a dynamic between the two. Their opposition is natural, and if anything, the season fails to capitalize on how well this duel set things up.
Aoi's re-introductory duel... is also against Soulburner. And their opposition... uh...
Look, I'll be frank, there is only one reason for Soulburner to duel Aoi, his third duel already in 10 episodes: they are fast-tracking him into main character slot #2. I talked about this in the Soulburner analysis. 
Aoi and Soulburner have no reason to be fighting, this match-up is completely artificial. They went "well Aoi needs to get a re-introductory duel because that's the Yugioh formula, and Soulburner needs more screentime, so let's shove them together," regardless of how it doesn't make narrative sense. How do they do that?
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Blue Girl: We came to find the Ignis. SOL-- I mean, my brother can help you. Soulburner: You don't understand. The Lost Incident made us suffer for a long time. SOL Technologies was partly responsible for that. Entrust our future to them? Thanks, but we'll solve our own problems. Blue Girl: *frowning* In that case, those Ignis originally belonged to SOL Technologies. Give them back. Soulburner: What?
This is completely out of character for her. She knows that they're victims of the Lost Incident, she knows what they've been through, and they've just told her they're trying to save someone whose consciousness was stolen. She just said that her motivation is saving people, specifically to pay back the people who saved her. Guess who the only person who saved you was, Aoi? It wasn't your onii-san.
It would've made more sense for Ghost Girl to duel Soulburner. She's the one who was established to be a self-serving bounty hunter in Season 1. Oh, but if you gave Ghost Girl a re-introductory duel, it might give off the wrong impression that she's relevant?
This duel doesn't even add anything to Soulburner's character either, the way that Soulburner vs. Go did.
What could they have done if they were actually thinking about Aoi?
How about Aoi vs. Akira? Akira tells her that if she can beat him in a duel, he'll believe that she's strong enough to go into the restricted zone. Or they could do Aoi vs. Ghost Girl -- same thing, Ghost Girl tells Akira that if Aoi wins, it proves she's equally capable of going on this mission.
Either of these would check all the boxes for a re-introductory duel. It's a memorable matchup, it re-establishes the personalities and (IN-CHARACTER) relationships of these three, and it addresses the transition between seasons -- we left off from Aoi's devastating loss, and this duel would bridge her into an upwards character arc in Season 2.
Of course, if they did that, they would have to make an upwards character arc for Aoi.
These two episodes have succeeded in the exact opposite of what a re-introductory episode is supposed to do. It's a garbage fire of bad writing. They regress her character, and call it progress. She's out of character, in order to be unsympathetic. They don't set up an arc for Aoi this season, because they haven't thought of one. They introduce new cards that never come back. But none of it matters anyway, because Aoi isn't actually important! We'll just make up something new the next time we're contractually obligated to give her a few episodes (but not too many, god forbid!)
I guess there's one part of her character they make consistent, which is making her lose in the worst ways possible.
⇀ Blue Girl vs. Soulburner
You know how in my last Aoi post, I said that it's good when characters lose duels, and that "X should have won that duel" is a comment that often misunderstands how outcomes are about narrative purpose rather than deck matchups?
Forget everything I said. Aoi ABSOLUTELY should have won that duel holy shit. I just witnessed a goddamn crime.
So there is actually one more reason that Soulburner duels Aoi. It's that it's a good concept for a duel. Aoi should annihilate Soulburner. Go ahead with your 72 step Salamangreat combo I dare you. Go ahead and use Burning Draw I dare you. Everyone likes seeing how the underdog comes out of a pinch, and if I came out of the duel thinking, "Wow, I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off!" I could have forgiven it.
Ha ha... wow..... I can't believe Soulburner pulled that off......
I'm not usually that bothered by hyper specific made up anime cards, but what the fuck is that trap that negates effect damage under 300. Countering exactly 1) Skull Invitation 2) Ojama Trio 3) Every one of Aoi's cards. Yeah okay, fuck you Aoi.
And Aoi still should have won, if Soulburner didn't one-up Aoi's own Fusion Summon by Burning Draw YOLO topdecking a fucking Salamangreat Super Poly out of nowhere. Why??? Because the scripter couldn't think of a way out of the situation other than copying one of the strongest cards ever designed?? Fuck you Aoi.
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Even Ghost Girl knows how robbed she was.
It's salt on the wound to cap off her "I'll get stronger speech" by having her lose a duel that was 99-1 in her favor. Soulburner deletes her life points in one attack, she screams and gets slammed into a cliff, and Soulburner stands over her and says, "Blue Girl, you're stronger than before."
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Jesus, just look at that condescending framing.
Aoi doesn't show up again in a relevant capacity for 20 episodes, and doesn't have another duel for 30 -- that's a quarter of Vrains. Her last words as Soulburner stands over her are "You won because of the bond between a duelist and an AI?" before she passes out.
This, I suppose, is their weak attempt at introducing a plot for Aoi this season. It's... well... 
⇀ Aqua and Miyu
The Miyu backstory is lazy as hell.
I'm sorry to all the fans rooting for female characters and wlw ships, but this writing was unbelievably sloppy. Someone put "Aoi's childhood friend was a victim of the Lost Incident and that's how she gets the Water Ignis" into the show notes and then didn't think about it until it was time to write the episode.
Miyu is not a cardboard cutout. She's not cut from cardstock, both of those at least have structural integrity. Miyu has the character solidness of wet tissue. She's an NPC, a parody of a generic little girl. The only reason to care about her is if you buy into the cheap writing shortcut of damselling little girls, or you're a desperate lesbian. I'm sorry, lesbians.
They could have done anything to give Miyu an actual character, I'm not asking for a lot. Give her any kind of trait or interest -- maybe she loves the ocean and shows Aoi her collection of seashells, and she says they should go to the beach together one day but they never do. They could talk about idols, and maybe that's what inspires Aoi to later become one. They could talk about Duel Monsters, it's Yugioh for christsake. A playground duel would be adorable.
There's a million things they could have done that are more compelling than playing on the slide, but there's one that's so obvious it pains me.
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The Blue Angel picture book. The one that Aoi said was her childhood treasure in the duel with Spectre, the one that motivated her to try and save him, a victim of the Lost Incident. The book that's an established part of her backstory, which made her take on the Blue Angel moniker. The book that's about a girl who is all alone until she makes friends and no longer has to cry blue tears.
Could it be more obvious? Have Miyu be the one who gave the book to Aoi. It's a backstory on a silver platter. If the writers cared about Aoi at all, if they didn't immediately forget every single thing about her the second they turn in the script for the contractually obligated Aoi episodes, they would know this. But they don't. Because even the Blue Angel picture book was clearly something they made up on the spot.
Imagine if Aoi's season 2 climax duel was vs. a controlled Miyu (à la Jin), the themes from the Spectre duel returned. Aoi questions if she really can save someone from the Lost Incident, or if it's just her own naivety, destined to be crushed over and over. But she breaks through, because this time it's her turn to save someone who's all alone. This is how you connect seasons 1 and 2, this is how you take a loss and turn it into a payoff. We can even get Spectre's perspective, he's there in the final fight.
But that's not what we get. Instead, they play on the slide, and then Miyu drops a ring down a drain, which I guess is what they think is a relatable cause of conflict for little girls. I can guarantee they would have come up with something more substantive if these were two male characters. And the pacing is just comically clunky. "Aoi-chan, look, it's my mother's ring! Isn't it pretty? Oh no, I dropped it! Wahhhhh!"
Aoi lies to Miyu's mom and says she's the one who dropped the ring, even though Miyu denies it vehemently, clearly crying and in great distress as her mother drags her away and never lets her see Aoi again.
This, we're told, is how Aoi "saved" Miyu.
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Aqua: While she was imprisoned, you kept her strong, Aoi. No matter how many duels she lost, no matter how much pain she endured, even after her meals were reduced, she never broke and promised to escape. So she could see you again and apologize for that day.
.........APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT???
What the fuck kind of message is this supposed to be? Aqua is supposed to be the Ignis of TRUTH, why are she and Miyu glorifying Aoi's lie as some courageous, inspirational action, when clearly it did nothing but harm? I'm not crazy, am I? The obvious takeaway from this flashback is that even if you had good intentions lying to protect your friend, it caused miscommunication, distress, and led to their friendship breaking apart? Like, their lives would have been just fine if Aoi didn't lie, and Miyu learned a reasonable lesson about not being careless with other people's expensive objects?
This backstory is comically bad. Just imagine Miyu, going through kidnapping, starvation, and torture, sustained only by the thought that one day... she can tell the girl that she played on the slide with years ago... that she's so sorry... that her hand slipped when taking off a ring and it rolled into a drain 5 feet away.
The story would make more sense if it was me in the Lost Incident, and I was plagued by guilt over dumping Cheeto crumbs on Rachel from Pre-K, because at least I actually did something bad.
It's difficult to even articulate how much all these sloppy writing decisions compound on each other. Because they wasted Aoi's introductory episodes and didn't set up anything for her, she has no role in the story for 30 episodes. Because she was given nothing for 30 episodes, they have to shove an entire backstory for Aoi into one episode. Because they shoved the backstory into one episode, Miyu and Aoi's relationship with her are painfully rushed, generic, and flimsy. Because their relationship is so flimsy, this whole backstory, Aoi's motivation to fight, her entire season 2 plotline, is soulless garbage.
Aoi didn't remember Miyu until this episode. The writers didn't create Miyu until this episode. You cannot ask the audience to be invested in Aoi rescuing Miyu, when you don't even care enough to conceptualize her.
And this is the most damning conclusion of this post. The writers don't care about Miyu. And they don't care about Aoi. And they don't care if you care about them. You weren't meant to care about them.
Again, I'm not saying that the Vrains writers are bad writers, or they hate women. There are other factors to consider, like the specifics of gender relations in Japan, how Yugioh animes primarily exist to advertise trading cards to young boys, the fact that there has not been a single female writer on Yugioh since season 2 of GX. And obviously, Vrains had production issues, and every character suffered from flawed writing.
But my point is, Aoi suffered the most for it. 
⇀ Final Thoughts
There's a lot more that I could say about Aoi for the rest of the show. Like how she gets a magical girl transformation sequence, only to be irrelevant for 10 episodes again, and we have to wait that entire time to see her new deck. Then the duel, which really needed to be a two-episoder, is about Haru instead. The pointlessness of the Bohman duel. The pointlessness of Yusaku's "identity reveal" to Aoi. How they needed to have a third and fourth Akira manpain scene as Aoi is "taken away" from him, though I guess in that last one Aoi gets to have some girlpain too.
I did plan to talk about each of these duels, and more about how I would do an Aoi vs. Miyu conflict, but this post has gotten way out of hand already, and I've made the points I wanted to make.
I hope it was cathartic for everyone who was disappointed with Aoi, and perhaps gave language to people who were frustrated but unable to articulate why. I did some research into what other people have said about Aoi's character, such as this video by YugiohEverything, but I find that a lot of discourse in Yugioh is not very good at pinpointing why something works or doesn't work, and the actual skill of writing is oversimplified. This is especially true when it comes to Yugioh girls, and criticisms tend to fall back on losing duels or getting put in a coma, and while those can suck, they aren't the real problem.
In my last Aoi post I said "I'll just have to hope that they don't fumble whatever new thing they give her... but things tend to get bleaker for female Yugioh characters as the show goes on and whatever initial involvement they had in the story fizzles out," and this, I think, has been the real problem persistently for Yugioh girls. The writers are contractually obligated to come up with something when a series is first pitched, but when that period is up, or when concessions have to be made, the female characters are the first to be forgotten.
I just didn't think it would be this bad for Aoi.
Well. Expectations lowered.
---
First Aoi analysis
All Vrains season analysis
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rainiishowers · 11 months ago
Text
Obey Me Incorrect Quotes
A/N: Can y'all believe I've done *checks notes* about 15 posts of this Anyways enjoy! :) ----- Satan: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Satan: I need my socks. ---
The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword MC: Rude. Belphegor: That's fair. Solomon: Not again. Mammon: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it? ---
MC: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives. Beelzebub: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train. MC: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.
---
Simeon: You look really stressed. Barbatos: Thanks, it’s the stress.
---
Mammon: *on the phone* Hey Lucifer, do you know my blood type? Lucifer: It's B-. Mammon: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse! --- Diavolo: What are you talking about MC? You love it here! MC: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome. --- Simeon: I have a plan. Barbatos: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it. Simeon: … Barbatos: … Simeon: I no longer have a plan. --- Satan: My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. You might have the strength and size, but I have the pure, unfiltered rage. --- Beelzebub: Don’t stay up all night, Belphie. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.
---
Mammon: I am in charge of this disaster! MC: I have a name, you know. ---
Asmodeus: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— Mammon. jokingly: That's because your too short to do so. Asmodeus: …Listen here you fucking— ---
Barbatos: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Satan: I thought the cats might be lonely. ---
MC: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us. Solomon: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this: Solomon: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately." --- Lucifer: I haven’t slept in 72 hours… MC: I haven’t slept in 80!! Solomon: Ha! I haven’t slept in 90 hours, I’m aiming for an even 100. Simeon: What the fuck is wrong with you people? --- Raphael: State your name, rank, and intention. MC: MC, Therapist for the Avatars of Hell, fun. ---
Simeon walking into the kitchen and seeing all his limes peeled: Solomon. What did you do?? Solomon, sipping coffee happily: Peeled all the limes :) ---
Simeon: Oh, they left the bowl out? Luke: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.” Mammon: Nobody around though… Mammon grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it Simeon: NO—
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project-zorthania · 6 months ago
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so what do you think are hytham and basims ages?
I hope you'll forgive the amount of snark and sass that I'm about to use to answer your question anon, because if I had the time and energy to spend making an hour long video essay to reply to this, I would.
You’d think tying in all your games around real historical events would mean creating a consistent timeline for your characters, but no! Ubisoft’s canonical timeline continues to be an absolute disaster, which makes this ask both a blessing and a curse as I’m left with a plethora of information to source for my answer.
I want this to make sense for everyone reading along so bear with me, I’ll try my best to keep this as short and sweet as possible.
A fair warning that this post will be riddled with spoilers for the following:
AC Valhalla
AC Mirage
The Golden City
Sword of the White Horse
Giermund's Saga.
Now without further ado, let’s break it down.
By the time we first see them in Valhalla, I estimate Basim to be in his late 30s and Hytham to be in his early 30s with no bigger than a 6 year age gap between them.
Here is what we know.
AC Valhalla starts with Sigurd meeting Basim and Hytham in Constantinople just a few months prior to their long trek up to Norway together in 872 CE.
We also know that the book 'The Golden City' takes place in 867 CE, during the reign of the Byzantine Emperor Basil I in Constantinople. That’s exactly 5 years before the events of Valhalla.
And exactly 6 years before the start of 'The Golden City' was the era of extreme instability in Baghdad after the assassination of the Caliph Al-Mutawakkil in 861 CE.
Here’s a visual of the timeline surrounding these events:
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The following clip is from the official Ubisoft Developer Trailer Breakdown, the rest of the video is available to watch on youtube here.
According to the Narrative Director at Ubisoft Bordeaux, Mirage takes place 20 years before Valhalla, which...
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*confused whale noises*
One could argue that Sarah Beaulieu meant 20 years before Basim’s betrayal in Norway, which takes place in 877 CE, (that’s still only 16 years) but if all of this were true, then the entire timeline for 'The Golden City' starts to get very messy.
If you haven't already read the novel, the story follows Basim and Hytham and their mutual struggle with fatherhood. The author, Jaleigh Johnson, seamlessly manages to tie in the AC universe with the reign of Emperor Basil and the very real assassination attempts on his child, Leo. It is the origin story to their inseparable companionship and elaborates on how Hytham develops a striking degree of loyalty and trust towards his partner/mentor.
There are a couple instances within the book that allude to Hytham's age.
The Golden City - Chapter 6: Hytham's first encounter with Justin, Leo's former personal guard.
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The Golden City - Chapter 15: Justin defines his relationship with Leo.
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The Golden City - Chapter 25: Basim's call-out.
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A couple things to note here:
Hytham considers Justin, a man in his early 20s, young.
Justin considers Leo, a very small child no older than 10, a little brother.
Hytham is old enough to consider this same child his son.
If Hytham considers a man in his early 20s young, and said 20 year old considers a child his little brother, what on earth does that make Hytham? The book is telling us that Hytham must be between his mid to late 20s in order to think this way. His struggle with his paternal instincts and numerous conversations regarding the topic with Basim are a testament to that.
And if you're still not convinced:
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Hytham is explicitly telling us that they're not far apart in age. This isn't speculation, he's telling us that he knows just how old Basim is. Granted, he doesn't know that Basim has merged with an Isu reincarnation, but right here, standing before all of us, Basim is still Basim residing in a human body that has lived through very human years.
Now if we go back to Mirage's canon of their ages and compare what we know from the book (and bear in mind, the book was released prior to the release of Mirage with intention to setup for it, so this really should've been something deeply considered by Ubisoft before Mirage released)
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My god, it's like Ubisoft didn't even TRY.
Muhammad Ibn Tahir even makes a passing comment about Basim looking to be in his 20s. Granted, the man's definitely guessing here, but he's likely not far off given that the game starts with Basim being 17. If we go by what Muhammad says, this tells us that 3 years has passed since Basim killed Al-Mutawakkil in Anbar at the start of the game.
This is the same 20 year old bearded Basim that we see meet Hytham atop a minaret in Karkh (approximately... we really have no idea what the timeline of events are within Mirage, which is another thing that irks me to no end).
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I'm reluctant to entertain the idea that Hytham is any younger than 14 here because 'The Golden City' is dependent on portraying both Basim and Hytham as older men with relatively similar ages, and since the novel relies heavily on historical events, that leaves us with little to no wiggle room in moving the story's timeline around.
It must take place during the reign of Emperor Basil between the years of 867 to 886, and they're already in Norway by 872.
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I want to honor the author’s dedication and research into making a cohesive timeline between all the main line games and their novel, especially when its story expands on the characters in question.
Because if we even attempt to go by Mirage's canon, we're going to run into all sorts of problems trying to make sense of a 22 year old Basim running around Constantinople with his acolyte, who is apparently... also a child.
The part that really breaks my heart? That scene between them atop the minaret is such a touching moment. I was beyond conflicted when I finally happened upon Hytham in Mirage, and now I'm being forced to contend with its canonimity :/
Hilariously, if Ubisoft truly intended for Basim to be 20 years older in Valhalla, it only further solidifies that they wanted to canonize an older Basim in his late 30s. The bad math could've been an oversight... even if it is a big one.
Let's delve into Valhalla next.
Thanks to Eivor's AC Rebellion bio, we know that her age ranges between 25-30 years old throughout Valhalla. This is further supported by Kjotve's comment about 17-18 winter's passing since the death of her parents near the beginning of the game, and further cemented when she's talking to Basim by the campfire, stating that she lost her parents at the tender age of 9.
This is important to note when observing the way Basim interacts with Eivor throughout the story, especially since Mirage's canon insists that they are only 2-3 years apart.
Early in the game Eivor teases Basim about jumping the gun to find a new apprentice to tutor, and his response is to lend her guidance.
In Cent, when completing the quest 'The Instrument of the Ancient's, a dialogue triggers when Eivor and Basim are on their way to infiltrate Canterbury's Cathedral to rescue Sigurd:
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This is not how friends talk to each other in their late 20s. This is a man with years of experience, eager to impart his knowledge to one much younger. He's not using a condescending tone here, he genuinely believes he can guide her.
Also, have you SEEN the man?
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Does that look like a 30 year old to you?
Better yet, have you seen Hytham?
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Because this man looks like he's in his 30s, but according to Mirage he's supposed to be barely 20 here?
I'm sorry, I know this sounds like I'm harping on Mirage a lot, but you have to understand that all this frustration comes from a place of deep affection for a franchise I practically grew up with. Part of what makes Assassin's Creed so incredible is it's ability to immerse a player in a historical setting and create impactful stories within those settings, but so much of that has been lost overtime due to corporate greed, it's become disheartening.
Why on earth would Ubisoft create such an expansive and incredible recreation of 9th century Baghdad only to spend little to no effort on it's story? So little effort in fact, that they couldn't even tie in the story with their main line series properly. Imagine having a team of historians and architects dedicated to bringing an accurate depiction of old Arab/Persian/Levantine culture to life, only to drown it out with a lukewarm story and poorly constructed timelines?
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm being forced to pick and choose my canons because of inconsistency's like this. Will the canons I choose to abide by for the sake of world-building be the same as everyone else's? No! And I don't expect it to either. This is my opinion based on the research I conducted, and this is how I'm choosing to make sense of everything to provide myself with an ounce of sanity when creating fanworks.
Which is also the reason why I haven't included 'Giermund's Saga' or 'Sword of the White Horse' in this response, as I personally found their depictions of Hytham and some supporting characters a little ooc for my taste.
And before I get into why, I want to make a disclaimer that my intent in dissecting the stories told in these novels isn’t to undermine the work that the author has poured into these works. These writers have my utmost respect and admiration for dedicating so much time and effort in expanding the AC universe and bringing to life their own interpretations of these characters, and I feel it’s important to acknowledge that my opinions here are my own and not a reflection of the entire fanbase. This is not an invitation to dunk on any of the works that they’ve so clearly poured their passion into. I only mean to dissect it for the sake of analysis and I want to be honest for the sake of this ask.
Here's an excerpt from Giermund's Saga as Giermund meets Hytham for the first time.
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Giermund observes that Hytham looks to be in his 20s. This observation is given from the perspective of an outsider. He is an unreliable narrator guessing the age of a man he has just met. I could easily do the same thing- guess the age of a stranger I see down the street and for all I know, I could be woefully wrong.
Additionally, Hytham appears to have pierced ears. Do I have a thing against pierced ears? Absolutely not 😂 and I'd be over the moon to see fanart of this, but has Hytham ever been depicted with them in Valhalla before? No! What an odd addition that contributes nothing to his character for this brief appearance.
In Sword of the White Horse, Hytham is described to having brown eyes:
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Which again, I don't have a single problem with brown eyes, it's just not what canon Valhalla has depicted him with.
There's also mention of him sustaining a lasting leg injury from his assault on Kjotve. You know... the one where he's swatted away like a fly on the wall. This is supposedly the same injury that confined him to his bureau for the entirety of Valhalla, but it couldn't be farther from the truth because in actuality he sustained a punctured lung, likely from a cracked rib that never properly healed. This change almost feels like it's understating the severity of his inflicted injuries. A punctured lung would've been infinitely harder to tend to than a leg that long ago, especially since the fall of Rome in the 5th century ended the advancement of surgical knowledge in Europe (not that it was that advanced at the time to begin with).
However, the biggest deal breaker for me is Hytham and Eivor's reluctance to return an artifact belonging to it's indigenous ancestors.
The premise of the book revolves around the retrieval of a sacred weapon to the protagonists people, Excalibur. But Eivor's reluctance to do so is in direct conflict with her character in Vinland, as she quite literally comes across an apple of Eden and returns it to the indigenous population of the land without a second thought. Given Hytham's overall generous nature, and the fact that he's played an advisory role within Ravensthorpe for some time now, it would make just as much sense for him to respond similarly and give back to the people what is rightfully theirs.
Furthermore, neither of these novels follow historical events with impact to the Valhalla story line. With a bit of research, I was able to find that Giermund was a real viking but very little else is known about him.
I cannot reiterate enough that these works are fantastic and should be enjoyed and appreciated in their own breath, but for the sake of breaking down canons and making sense of their ages, I'm opting to keep them out of timeline discussions, along with any other material with depictions of Hytham and Basim that have little to no impact on their speculated ages.
With all of that out of the way, here's a side by side comparison of the timeline Mirage has setup vs what I'm proposing based on all the canon information we've dissected.
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I sincerely think that the mess of Mirage's timeline could've easily been solved if Ubisoft had simply aged the boys up a little.
As much as I adore tiny Hytham being shown how to do a leap of faith, I would've equally settled for Basim being introduced to Hytham training under Rayhan in Alamut as a young man instead.
There's even a cleverly placed letter making mention of Norse warriors in Constantinople that can be found in Fuladh's office just beside Enkidu's perch.
A subtle nod to the plot of 'The Golden City' soon to come:
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Which means that the writers fully intended to tie Mirage in with 'The Golden City,' making it impossible to ignore.
I will leave you here before I ramble any further. I promise I'm not always this exasperated with my replies _(: 」 ∠)_
I sincerely hope this wasn't too convoluted to follow. Please do with this information what you will anon, but this is how I've chosen to make sense of everything and I hope you can track my logic.
To those of you who managed to get this far, I send you all my love and many kisses. Thank you for reading, and please do feel free to send me any other questions you may have!
I'll try my best to keep my response shorter than this one ;)
PS: I am aware that Hytham's wiki states that he was born in the 850s, but this wiki entry infuriates me to no end because there is NO SOURCE. Never has Hytham's birthday been explicitly stated anywhere, and someone just decided to randomly give him one. Please be VIGILANT in your research when you look up stuff about your favourite blorbos, as wikipedia can be edited by literally anyone.
k, end rant, thank you for coming to my ted talk. That's all i wanted to add 😂
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holycatsandrabbits · 7 days ago
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Hey, y’all, it’s Weird Wednesday! Where on some Wednesdays, I blog about weird stuff and give writing prompts.
Today: Why the Nederlander Theatre is Haunted: Chicago’s Little-Known 1903 Disaster
Welcome to Weird Wednesday! Today we’re stepping back in time to the closing of the year 1903, and one of Chicago’s deadliest days.
Theaters are often said to house a ghost or two: a famous actor, a murdered understudy, a jealous lover. But the shadowed halls of the present-day Nederlander Theatre in Chicago are a little more crowded than that: try 602 ghosts. 
On Dec 30, 1903, a different theater sat where the Nederlander does today—The Iroquois Theatre, and it was the site of America’s deadliest structure fire.
The Iroquois Theatre was billed as “fireproof.” And to be fair, it was. On the morning after the fire, the theater stood, as gorgeous as the day before, with its massive stone arch and magnificent carvings. It was just everything inside that had burned: the elegant seats and draperies, the rich carpets and stage scenery—and 602 people, twice as many as died in the entire city in the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
How could something like this possibly happen in such a beautiful place? How could so many people die in such a short amount of time?
Let’s take a look at what went so wrong that late December afternoon.
Check out the blog post for the whole story and some writing prompts, such as:
Those left behind. Many literary stories describe a family or town affected by a tragedy, such as a deadly fire. In this case, the loss of many women and children would affect families in a devastating way. Funerals would give way to lawsuits and trials, and expose divides in communities. Your story could be told from the point of view of a grieving family member, lawyer, town official, injured survivor, doctor, or even one of the visiting actors mourning the loss of coworkers.
DannyeChase.com ~ AO3 ~ Linktree ~ Weird Wednesday writing prompts blog ~ Resources for Writers 
Image credits Nederlander Iroquois
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outsidersheadcanons · 4 months ago
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Curtis bros on thanksgiving because I know it’s their favorite holiday (maybe they snuggle after?)
Darry is DETERMINED to make the food good (but this is his first time ever making a turkey or smth. He has NO CLUE what he's doing but he's trying!!) He got a lil overwhelmed for a while and stood in the kitchen like ??? so Soda ended up helping
Here's the thing when Soda "helps"... he's messy as hell 💀 so he got flour and turkey juice all over the counters so he got kicked out like 30 mins later
Ponyboy is banned from helping (also bc he kept stealing marshmallows 😡) so he's tasked with setting the table. He's folding the napkins really well (he randomly memorized a way to do it from a magazine he read in a dr.'s office or smth. He has the most random memory sometimes). But Soda is AMAZED with them.
The Curtises are Sparkling Apple Cider enjoyers 100%. Darry even brings out the old wine glasses (and Pony is pleased with this bc he feels like he's drinking alcohol)
Also Darry makes him eat some green beans and stuffing (Ponyboy HATES stuffing. The texture makes him want to be sick (same)). Soda eats literally everything. He loves thanksgiving food so much (even dry ahh turkey, but he drowns it in so much jam and gravy he doesn't notice). Darry's a little concerned by how much he eats lol
After they finish eating. they watch TV and just. pass out (esp Darry. He worked so hard man). I think a little later they went out to play football but the day was a success!! (I feel like that's not every year. The Curtis family has had their fair share of holiday disasters)
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crooked4913-blog · 4 months ago
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Deleted/Alternate scene CH 30
Cake
You weren’t going to cry, you were definitely not going to cry. You told yourself over and over as you gingerly took out what was left of Papyrus’s cake, trying not to let it fall further to the side and ruin anyone else's.  
It just collapsed. The top sliding off to the side as the bottom layers refused to support its weight.
You had worked so hard too, you couldn’t believe that it just fell apart. 
…well okay, maybe you could, but it still wasn’t fair. It couldn’t have held on long enough to cut? 
You had a little time to try and salvage it, you thought before big hands were wrapped around your middle and you were lifted onto a counter opposite your cake disaster.
“I- What- hey?” You demanded, glaring up at Edge. 
“HUSH.” He scolded you as he took out the little cake spatula and started removing the icing from your cake. “HONESTLY, THIS IS EASILY FIXABLE, I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU'RE LOOKING SO DEJECTED.” 
“Well…I-” You started, getting distracted when he pulled out some cake supports from one of the drawers. “I didn’t think about using those.” 
“IT’S FINE…” He said trailing off, blushing lightly before meeting your eyes again across the kitchen. “YOU’RE LUCKY YOUR CUTE.” He said, echoing what you had said to him the night before as he fixed your cake, putting it back together beautifully, moving the squisked base to the top and putting the top on the bottom, with some extra support as he reapplie your layers. 
You wanted to tell him how sweet you thought he was, but you couldn’t really get the words out until he was done, he was half way out of the kitchen before you could even call out a thank you.
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