#to be clear: i have a very low opinion of abstainers

[11-angry-bees]

btw if you are a us citizen and you choose not to vote in the elections this year, your opinion on the results of the election does not matter

[sweeethinny]

The Duke - Chapter 3

Another chapter, after some time! I hope you like it, and let me know what you think <3

AO3 | FF.NET | SIYE 

-----------------

‘‘Mr Figg, you are a coward.’’ Ginny's voice was loud from above the roof where she was sitting, holding the broom in one hand. ‘’You duel even with your eyes closed, but don’t want to fly with me?’’ He smiled, denying and thinking about how crazy that woman was and gave him more trouble than all the Askaban prisoners combined. ‘’What if I get attacked from up here? You won't be able to protect me.’’

‘’Miss, I believe that few wizards will be able to hit someone on a broom.’’ He argued, ignoring the tightness in his stomach he felt at seeing her in the air like a bird.

''There is! That's a lie, because my father has seen a man fall dead from a broom.'' Ginny climbed up on the broom and flew across the sky like a lightning bolt, turning a blur of colors until she bent down and stood at the height of his head, laughing boldly and keeping her chin up in the best Ginny Weasley way he knew. ''You are afraid.''

''Madam, I will have to disagree with you.'' He wanted to laugh, a lot, but three of her brothers were around, and Henry would never let them think he wasn't doing his job right because he was distracting himself with that Greek goddess. .

Henry knew very well who he was and where he came from.

''Disagree? Aren't you being too bold?’’ Ginny seemed to shine like gold, her hair on fire flying in the wind, and her freckles looking like constellations on her pink cheeks. ‘’But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.’’ She whispered, before cutting the air again and climbing higher than everyone else.

It had been almost two years since he had seen her do that, in fact, that he had seen her do almost anything, but he never got used to it.

Whenever she laughed, or when she flew like a bird that was born for it, even when she just walked in silence in the gardens, seeming to work some crazy idea that would make him afraid of losing his job, Henry was touched. It was simply impossible, there was no way not to look at the freckles on the top of her nose that stood out when she got too much sun, or how she had an almost dangerous facility to escape from home.

Henry knew he had never met a woman like her.

Not that he had met many aristocratic women, but in general, Ginny was totally different.

She flew for a long time, laughed with her brothers, performed acrobatics that would leave her mother with her hair standing, and challenged Henry to fly with her, but soon gave up and returned to the heights, seeming to have fun like never before, smiling from ear to ear. Her skin becoming increasingly pink from the Sun.

For his part, Henry stood up, strolling around in order to think about some things that Robards had passed on to him last week, trying to recap each part - again - of the attack of two years ago, and of the letter - that never arrived in the Ginny's hands - with horrible misspellings and threatening her with death. The person was very explicit about what he would do if he found her, and for a week, Henry had nightmares that, while sleeping, someone would be able to catch her and kill her. Sometimes it was almost three in the morning and he was walking around the house, looking for a potential killer, going to the garden, to the clearing nearby, and even to the roof. But there was never anyone.

The house was protected, very well protected, but it never hurt to have a look or two.

His mother, Arabella, would be extremely concerned if she knew that he was hunting a murderer with his bare hands, ignoring Robards' commands and doing his own patrol, even reading and rereading the letters and all the investigation, looking for any gap that he pointed out for the culprit.

She would die of worry if she imagined that he had gone to Yeovil alone, curious to the last hair, even if it didn't make much sense.

Later that evening, after her day of enjoying flying and playing with her brothers. Ginny finally landed and got off her broom and followed her mother to socialize, or as her mother called it 'women's time', and then having dinner.

Henry, after already having his dinner - wandered around the property, talking to the elves who worked in the house, and going to the greenhouse to take care of the plants that Ginny might have almost killed. Not that he was the one who was going to tell her that she sucked when it came to herbology, instead, he just took care of the damage and made sure that all the plants survived another day.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  ‘’Henry.’’ Ginny called out, her voice very low. ''Where are you?''

‘’I’m here, miss.’’ He whispered too, the wand light off, but ensuring that Ginny wouldn’t trip over anything.

It had started a few months ago, when one of the men Mr Weasley tried to choose to marry his daughter, commented unpretentiously that every night on the 31st, at a specific time, you could see lights in the sky that came directly from the mansion where the Duke and Duchess lived. Ginny had barely endured anxiety trying to wait for the time, and as much as she hadn't told Henry about it, he knew she would try to escape.

That's how he became an accomplice to her escapes, almost every night - because he would never let her escape at night alone.

‘’I don’t understand why you’re taking risks like that.’’ She spoke as soon as they left the house, walking under the effect of protective disillusionment, following the same path as always.

‘’Miss, I would never let you do this alone.’’ Sometimes he thought she didn’t know him, even though he had been working there for almost two years.

‘’Is there any danger even at 1 am?’’ She spoke, and Henry abstained from answering a question like that. It was obvious that there was danger even at one in the morning, in fact, he thought there was even more.

After leaving the safe perimeter of the Weasleys' home, Henry extended his arm to Ginny, apparating them sideways to the park where they always went, not wanting to pay much attention to the fact that she always held him tightly and that the feeling was simply overwhelming.

‘’How do they do it?’’ She questioned him, sitting on the bench in front of the water channel and looking up at the sky that glowed towards the west.

‘’I have no idea.’’ He admitted, looking at the golden lights that cut across the little starry sky, feeling a little suffocated, even if they were outdoors. This sensation always scratched his lungs, and he thought it was because of his protective sense, which made him anxious about the idea of ​​being up at dawn, taking a Viscount's daughter for a stroll on the sly. He was risking his job on a whim of that red-haired goddess, who he would never be able to say no to.

‘’When I was a little girl, my mother told me this story of two souls who were intertwined together, and who met, no matter what the circumstances were.’’ Henry looked at Ginny, curious about she was talking about Soul-bonding. Ginny continued; ‘‘I think she was hoping that her words would make the Duke’s son return."

‘’But you never believed!?’’ He questioned, knowing the answer. Happy to be able to treat her so personally now that they were alone. Her smile was always so beautiful when she realized he was doing it.

‘’No. Bonded souls? It sounds silly... I think that, apart from the dukes, nobody ever believed that the boy would return.’’ She looked at him, her brown eyes reflecting the golden lights in an inexplicably beautiful way. ‘’I once heard my father saying that Mr Potter had gone crazy since his son disappeared. Father said that he never left the castle, not attending any social gatherings, except for important meetings. And Mrs. Potter is no longer seen at afternoon teas, or even at events. Only the most special ones where she is required.’’. She shrugged. ‘’Myself, I think I’ve seen her less than five times in my entire life.’’

Henry was unable to give his opinion, the only time the Duke was at Ottery St. Catchpole, it was on a day that he was accompanying Ginny on a boring walk through the center, where she and Mrs. Weasley were looking for a new fabric for a dress. So, apart from photos that were here and there in the newspaper, he was never in the presence of the Duke or seen him.

And he would hardly be, to be honest, Henry was exorbitantly lower than the Potter family.

[kalinara]

I understand why a lot of people don’t like the idea of voting Biden.  I don’t myself.  And I know some folk won’t be able to bring themselves to do it.  Personally, I think that’s very shortsighted, but that’s not my call.

I do wish the people who absolutely despise the thought of voting Biden would stop acting like the rest of us are idiots.

We’re not voting for Biden because we think he’s magically going to turn into Bernie or Warren or any other candidate we like better.

We’re not voting for Biden because we think he’s going to appoint another Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

We are voting for Biden because he is better than Trump.  It’s a very low bar. 

Biden’s stated policies at least start to address some of the biggest issues in the country.  They don’t go far enough in my opinion.  But the alternative has no intention of addressing of these issues.  He just keeps going.

Will Biden do what he promises?  Maybe.  Probably not.  Politicians rarely do.  But I do know that Trump did a lot of what he promised.  I know that he’s appointed his cabinet and administrators like a summit of Captain Planet villains, with the absolute worst people in every single role.

Biden won’t cancel student debt.  But he won’t appoint Betsy DeVos.

I know that Trump has been filling the Federal Judgeships, life time appointments by the way, with the worst far right, and unqualified candidates.  Biden will probably appoint centrists.  That’s not ideal.  But it’s better than what we’ve got.  

I know that for all of the faults of the Obama administration, there were plans in place to deal with many of the crises we have now.  I know that Trump has done his best to dismantle almost all of it.

I’m a leftist.  I wanted Warren or Bernie.  I was crushed when it became clear that neither were going to win.  But I’m going to vote a centrist.  Not because he’ll magically turn left.  We lost that fight.  But because a centrist is still better than the far right.

And please, if you can’t bring yourself to vote Biden, SHOW UP ANYWAY.  Abstain, write in Bernie, whatever.  But vote downticket.  Vote for Congress.  We saw how important that is.  A Democrat led House impeached Trump, a Republican led Senate didn’t remove him. 

Mitch McConnell has done so much damage as Senate Majority Leader.  If we can get the seats, then he’ll lose that power.  Even the crappiest Democratic candidate will still give us numbers and we need those.

This election is damage control.  And barring some sort of DNC miracle, we’re stuck playing the hand we’re dealt.

[fullregalia]

20/20.

This year, in hindsight, was a real write-off. I had grand plans for it, and while I ushered it in in a very low-key manner since I was recovering from the flu, I’d expected things to look up. Well, you know what they say about plans (RIP, my trip to Europe). I got very, very sick in early February, and I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t COVID. Since March, the days have been a carousel of monotony: coffee, run, work, cook, yoga, existential spiral, sleep. My Own Private Year of Rest and Relaxation, if you will. Of course, life has a way of breaking through regardless; I attended protests, completed my thesis, graduated from grad school, took a couple of road trips upstate, and celebrated the accomplishments and birthdays of friends and family from a safe social distance. It was all a bit of a blur, and not ideal circumstances to re-enter the real world, or whatever this COVID-present is. 

Throughout it all, in lieu of happy hours, coffee dates, and panel discussions, I’ve turned even more to culture and cuisine to fill the the negative space on my calendar where my social life once resided. However, since a global pandemic ought not to disrupt every tradition, here’s my year-end round up of what made this terrible one slightly more tolerable. 

TV

After an ascetic fall semester abstaining from TV in 2019 (save for my beloved Succession), I allowed myself to watch more as the year wore on, and especially after graduation. I caught up on some cultural blind spots by finally getting around to The Sopranos, Ramy, Search Party, and Girlfriends. I wasn’t alone in bingeing Sopranos, it absolutely lived up to the hype and then some; this Jersey Girl can’t get enough gabagool-adjacent content, pizzeria culture is my culture!

Speaking of my culture, there was also a disproportionate amount of UK and European shows in my queue. Nothing like being in social isolation and watching the horny Irish teens in Normal People brood. I’m partial to it because I share a surname with the showrunner, so I have to embrace blind loyalty even though there was, in my opinion, a Marianne problem in the casting. Speaking of charming Irish characters with limited emotional vocabularies, I belatedly discovered This Way Up a 2019 show from Aisling Bea and Sharon Horgan. And while Connell and Marianne are actually exceptional students, I found the real normal people on GBBO to bring me a bit more joy. Baking was abundantly therapeutic for me this year, and watching charming people drink loads of tea and fret over soggy bottoms was a comfort. I also discovered the Great Pottery Throw Down, and as a lifelong ceramics enthusiast, I cannot recommend it highly enough if you care about things like slips, coils, and glazing techniques. GPTD embraces wabi sabi in a way that GBBO eschews flaws in favor of perfection, and in a time of uncertainty, the former reminded me why I miss getting my hands in the mud as a coping mechanism (hence all the baking). Speaking of coping mechanisms, like everybody else with two eyes and an HBO password, I loved Michaela Cole’s I May Destroy You; though we’ve all had enough distress this year for a lifetime, watching Cole’s Arabella process her assault and search for meaning, justice, and closure was a compelling portrait of grief and purpose in the aftermath of trauma. Arabella’s creative and patient friends Kwame and Terry steal the show throughout, as they deal with their own setbacks and emotional turmoil. Where I May Destroy You provides catharsis, Ted Lasso presents British eccentricity in all its stereotypical glory. At first I was skeptical of the show’s hype on Twitter, but once I gave in it charmed me, if only for Roy Kent’s emotional trajectory and extolling the restorative powers of shortbread. For a more accurate depiction of life in London, Steve McQueen’s series Small Axe provides a visually lush and politically clear-eyed depiction of the lives of British West Indians in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Lastly, how could I get through a recap of my year in tv if I don’t mention The Crown. Normal People may have needed an intimacy coordinator, but the number of Barbours at Balmoral was the real phonographic content for me.

Turning my attention across the Channel, after the trainwreck that was Emily in Paris, I started watching a proper French show, Call My Agent! It’s truly delightful, and unlike the binge-worthy format of "ambient shows” I have been really relishing taking an hour each week to watch CMA, subtitles, cigarettes, and all.

Honorable mention: The Last Dance for its in-depth look at many notable former Chicago residents; High Fidelity for reminding me of the years in college when my brother and I would drive around listening to Beta Band; and Big Mouth.

Music

My Spotify wrapped this year was a bit odd. I don‘t think “Chromatica II into 911″ is technically a song, so it revealed other things about my listening habits this year, which turned out to remain very much stuck in the last, sonically. I listened to a lot more podcasts than new music this year, but there were some records that found their way into heavy rotation. While I listened to a lot of classics both old and new to write my thesis (Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Prokofiev, and Bach) the soundtrack to my coursework, runs, walks, and editing was more contemporary. Standouts include: 

Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee, which makes me feel like I’m breathing fresh air even when I’m stuck inside all day 

La Bella Vita by Niia, which was there for me when I walked past my ex on 7th avenue (twice!) and he pretended that I didn’t exist 

Fetch the Bolt Cutters by THEE Fiona Apple, because Fiona, our social distancing queen, has always been my Talmud, her songs shimmering, evolving, and living with me every year 

Shore by Fleet Foxes, for the long drive to the Catskills 

Women in Music, Pt. III by HAIM, because these days, these days...

Musicians have been reckoning with tumult this year as much as the rest of us, and the industry has dealt with loss on all fronts. I’d be remiss not to talk about how the passing of John Prine brought his music into my life, and McCoy Tyner, who has been a companion through good and bad over the years. 

Honorable mention to: græ by Moses Sumney; The Main Thing by Real Estate; on the tender spot of every calloused moment by Ambrose Akinmusire; Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers; folklore by you know who; and songs by Adrianne Lenker. 

Reading

What would this overlong blob be without a list of the best things I read this year? While I left publishing temporarily, books, the news, and newsletters still took up a majority of my attention (duh and/or doomscrolling by any other name). I can’t be comprehensive, and frankly, there are already great roundups of the best longform this year out there, so this is mostly books and praising random writers. 

Last year I wrote about peak newsletter. Apparently, my prediction was a bit premature as this year saw an even bigger Substack Boom. But two new newsletters in particular have delighted me: Aminatou Sow’s Crème de la Crème and Hunter Harris’ Hung Up (her ”this one line” series is true force of chaotic good on Blue Ivy’s internet). Relatedly, Sow and Ann Friedman’s Big Friendship was gifted to me by a dear friend and another bff and I are going to read it in tandem next week. 

On the “Barack Obama published a 700+ page memoir, crippling the printing industry’s supply chains” front, grad school severely hamstrung my ability to read for pleasure, but I managed to get through almost 30 books this year, some old (Master and Margarita), most new-ish (Say Nothing, Nickel Boys). Four 2020 books in particular enthralled me:

Uncanny Valley: Anna Wiener’s memoir has been buzzed about since n+1 published her essay of the same name in 2016. Her ability to see, clear-eyed, the industry for both its foibles and allure captured that era when the excess and solipsism of the Valley seemed more of a cultural quirk than the harbinger of societal schism.  

Transcendent Kingdom: Yaa Gyasi’s novel about faith, family, loss, and--naturally--grad school was deeply empathetic, relatable, and moving. I think this was my favorite book of the year. Following the life of a Ghanaian family that settles in Alabama, it captured the kind of emotional ennui that comes from having one foot in the belief of childhood and one foot in the bewilderment that comes from losing faith in the aftermath of tragedy.  

Vanishing Half: Similarly to Transcendent Kingdom, Brit Bennett’s novel about siblings who are separated; it’s also about the ways that colorism can be internalized and the ways chosen family can (and cannot) replace your real kin. It was a compassionate story that captured the pain of abuse and abandonment in two pages in a way that Hanya Yanagihara couldn’t do in 720.

Dessert Person: Ok, so this is a cookbook, but it’s a good read, and the recipes are approachable and delicious. After all the BA Test Kitchen chaos this summer, it’s nice we didn’t have to cancel Claire. Make the thrice baked rye cookies!!!! You will thank me later.

Honorable mention goes to: Leave The World Behind for hitting the Severance/Station Eleven dystopian apocalypse novel sweet spot; Exciting Times for reminding me why I liked Sally Rooney; and Summer by Ali Smith, which wasn’t the strongest of the seasonal quartet, but was a series I enjoyed for two years.  

Podcasts

I’m saving my most enthusiastic section for last: ever since 2018, I’ve been listening to an embarrassing amount of podcasts. Moving into a studio apartment will do that to you, as will grad school, add a pandemic to that equation and there’s a lot of time to fill with what has sort of become white noise to me (or, in one case, nice white parents noise). In addition to the shows that I’ve written about before (Still Processing, Popcast, Who? Weekly, and Why is This Happening?), these are the shows I started listening to this year that fueled my parasocial fire:

You’re Wrong About: If you like history, hate patriarchy, and are a millennial, you’ll love Sarah Marshall and Michael Hobbes’ deep dives into the most notable stories of the past few decades (think Enron and Princess Diana) and also some other cultural flashpoints that briefly but memorably shaped the national discourse (think Terri Schiavo, Elian González, and the Duke Lacrosse rape case).

Home Cooking: This mini series started (and ended) during the pandemic. As someone who stress baked her way through the past nine months, Samin Nosrat and Hrishikesh Hirway’s show is filled with warmth, banter, and useful advice. Home Cooking has been a reassuring companion in the kitchen, and even though it will be a time capsule once we’re all vaccinated and close talking again, it’s still worth a listen for tips and inspiration while we’re hunkered down for the time being. 

How Long Gone: I don’t really know how to explain this other than saying that media twitter broke my brain and enjoying Chris Black and Jason Stewart’s ridiculous banter is the price I pay for it.

Blank Check: Blank Check is like the GBBO of podcasts--Griffin Newman and David Sims’ enthusiasm for and encyclopedic knowledge of film, combined with their hilarious guests and inevitable cultural tangents is always a welcome distraction. Exploring a different film from a director’s oeuvre each week over the course of months, the podcast delves into careers and creative decisions with the passion of completists who want to honor the filmmaking process even when the finished products end up falling short. The Nancy Meyers and Norah Ephron series were favorites because I’d seen most of the movies, but I also have been enjoying the Robert Zemeckis episodes they’re doing right now. The possibility of Soderbergh comes up often (The Big Picture just did a nice episode about/with him), and I’d love to hear them talk about his movies or Spike Lee (or, obviously, Martin Scorsese).      

Odds & Ends

If you’re still reading this, you’re a real one, so let’s get into the fun stuff. This was a horrible way to start a new decade, but at least we ended our long national nightmare. We got an excellent dumb twitter meme. I obviously made banana bread, got into home made nut butters, and baked an obscene amount of granola as I try to manifest a future where I own a Subaru Outback. Amanda Mull answered every question I had about Why [Insert Quarantine Trend] Happens. My brother started an organization that is working to eliminate food insecurity in LA. Discovering the Down Dog app allowed me to stay moderately sane, despite busting both of my knees in separate stupid falls on the criminally messed up sidewalks and streets of Philadelphia. I can’t stop burning these candles. Jim Carrey confused us all. We have a Jewish Second Gentleman! Grub Street Diets continued to spark joy. Dolly Parton remains America’s Sweetheart (and possible vaccine savior). And, last, but certainly not least: no one still knows how to pronounce X Æ A-12 Boucher-Musk.

[peerless-soshi]

Hi! If you're still accepting requests, may I request a 75 and 60 Xiyao? If requests are closed I understand. Thanks!

Rules: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.   

Bed Sharing +  Poorly Timed Confession  

Jin Guangyao was sure he would sound a little paranoid if he tried to explain the complex trap of drinking wine to anyone, even Lan Xichen – especially Lan Xichen – because other clan leaders wouldn’t be kicked over a bottle. He sighed loud. It never rains but it pours, and so on. But well, there were bigger problems than a dinner with a friend-abstainer.

He eyed the small guest room. The bottle stood in the middle of the table, smiling sneeringly at him. Lan Xichen was sitting at the other end of the table, smiling brightly for a change. To close the triangle, Jin Guangyao smiled apologetically.

“Second brother, this wine is not necessary,” he said, his voice courteous and low and all smooth, as though it sprouted among dew. “Isn’t drinking alcohol forbidden in the Cloud Recess? I don’t want to cause you troubles with my presence.”

Lan Xichen shook his head slightly, an evening spark of candles wavering on his face. His white skin seemed shades lighter by contrast to sleepy shadows of the guest room, and this small change took some formal dignity away. “It’s not a problem, brother,” he said, “I am the clan leader and so I will follow our rules, but tonight you are also my guest. What master would I be if I didn’t welcome you properly?”

If he was less generous, sometimes things would be easier.

“In my humble opinion, still better than anyone,” Jin Guangyao answered and decided to risk another tactic. “Your good intentions make me happy, I will forever remember how well you treat me, so please, take the wine. If anyone saw me drinking in this place, your intent could be misunderstood. I don’t want people to gossip about you.”

Even though they would blame it on me, like always.

The real problem was that Lan Xichen was too nice to understand it: he never accused anyone, never looked down at anyone, never waited for a mistake. And this weird, clear goodness was singing in him with every gesture. Jin Guangyao doubted that words would change his ways, but he also couldn’t pretend it was fine. It would rather be the opposite, like letting Lan Xichen to treat him in the same way as other leaders would only drag Jin Guangyao more into focus. Someone was going to take advantage of his tiniest slipup sooner or later.

He pulled the cup away the same moment Lan Xichen moved closer his own cup.

“What are you doing, brother?” Jin Guangyao asked, calm outside and panicking inside. “I am not going to drink alone. It’s not proper.”

He didn’t know if Lan Xichen burst out laughing because he found this whole situation amusing or because he wanted Jin Guangyao to feel comfortable. “Who talks about lonely drinking?”

“You can’t drink,” Jin Guangyao pointed out and immediately felt his mistake. No one would remind the Lan Leader the rules of his own sect.

But Lan Xichen only looked at him and reached out for the bottle. “You’re worried that drinking in the Cloud Recess would be perceived as an insult,” he said, “In that case, I am going to drink together with you. Isn’t that the best form of permission?”

As proof of his words, Lan Xichen poured himself profusely. A small wine stain next to his hand revealed that he didn’t have much experience, however his commitment couldn’t be denied. There was the Zewu-jun Jin Guangyao knew. He always got the intention right and the actions wrong. Jin Guangyao would be ready to bring up memorable laundry if the situation wasn’t as acute.

“No!” he shouted and stood up. The table wobbled and some more drops of wine dripped, sweet and intense amid the incense and paper scents of Gusu.

“What is going on?” Lan Xichen asked him while leaning to wipe up the spilled wine.

Jin Guangyao was speechless. Forget manners, forget conventions! Drinking alcohol under the eye of a friend-abstainer was one thing, but drinking together with him was something else. He sat back down slowly, as if unsure if this was a good idea, but Lan Xichen’s smile didn’t waver. Jin Guangyao could only imagine what it must have looked like: a bottle, a dirty table, a blush on his cheeks. The whispers reducing him to a brothel child sharpened: it wasn’t surprising he had a thing for alcohol.

In a tone both respectful and dire, he said, “I’m sorry, but it has gone too far. If not for your sake, you should stop for the sake of me.”  

Lan Xichen looked like he might laugh it off, but all of sudden he straightened up. The half-filled cup froze in his hand. Also, he was no longer smiling.

“Tonight, only you and me are here,” he said, and his voice had changed. It was sadder, more complex – a smooth and sweet melody covering other tones. “Once Xichen could drink with A-Yao. Why Zewu-jun can’t celebrate with Lianfang-zun?”

It was the smallest and the biggest question, and Jin Guangyao could answer in many ways: because they were different now; because Jin Guangyao was in a different place now; because he didn’t mean to lose everything on a whim. It was too much, so he stayed silent. What Lan Xichen didn’t understand was that sometimes silence was better than someone speaking. That was how lies slipped out.

“Let me rest for a while, A-Yao.” He sounded so disappointed. “Don’t be so official with me. I know it’s selfish, but…” A pause. “I miss old A-Yao.”

At that moment, he had changed, too; Lan Xichen looked tired, undoubtedly, and the candle burning out near the window highlighted dark circles under his eyes, like gentle brush strokes on the whitest yet oldest canvas. It was a strange sense of understanding that Jin Guangyao felt. He was tired as well; he was tired of looking at others, of looking over his own shoulder and wondering what was right and what could kill him.  

It took minutes, but he raised his cup in a toast. “We have never drunk alcohol together, brother,” he added.

Forgetting was freeing.

Jin Guangyao couldn’t believe he was doing it, but why not? Zewu-jun’s friendship was an important piece of the puzzle; it was true that such moments of intimacy kept Lan Xichen on his side. The risk wasn’t high. Jin Guangyao’s gaze focused in on the door when his sworn brother emptied the cup, cheerful, allowing himself a brief moment of relax. Luxury beyond their reach. Jin Guangyao heard nothing; in the main corridor silence twirled with wind blows, and the ringing bottle accompanied them like bianzhong.

Lan Xichen let out a little laughed, his voice like tuneful music. And it was too loud, Jin Guangyao realized.

It wasn’t that Lan Xichen never laughed. But he didn’t laugh out loud; even outside the walls of his sect, he always stayed dignified and restrained like a Lan should be. And now he jumped to his feet, ran to the window and looked at the yard. Jin Guangyao’s heart stopped, a sheen of sweat on his brown.

“What happened?” he asked. “Did you hear someone? Is somebody there?”

“Yes.” Lan Xichen paused. “The moon.”

“What?”

“The moon is beautiful! Really beautiful. Why are we sitting here?! Hahahaha!”

Gasping in shock, Jin Guangyao turned his head and gazed, lost for words, at him. Lan Xichen staggered, half-falling and half-dancing, and used both hands to hold on to the wall. As if surprised, he stepped back and looked up again. Satisfied, he smiled at Jin Guangyao.

As he waved his hand, the long sleeves flutterd like crane wings in silvering glare of the night. “A-Yao, I want to go hunting. The night is so bright, did you see? Too bright to waste it! Where is my sword?” he asked, touching its hilt. “And where is A-Yao?” he added, looking at him. Maybe a little bit above.

Jin Guangyao should tell him to calm down, or – he didn’t know – to drink some tea and rest. He didn’t. “Brother… are you drunk?”

It was impossible. No one could get drunk with just one cup of wine, no matter how weak his head was. Lan Xichen seemed to agree; he chuckled and the darkest blush crept up his pale neck. It was a bad combination.

“Heavens,” Jin Guangyao whispered, “You are completely drunk.”

“No!” Lan Xichen corrected him, “I’m happy!”

They had never drunk together and Jin Guangyao wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. If someone had warned him about it, at least he would know what to expect. And now? Drinking alcohol under the eye of a friend-abstainer was one thing, but getting him drunk was something else! If word gets out that the Jin Leader forced into a respected man whole barrels of wine – because that was the picture they would see – their reputation could be dead. A disaster.

But Jin Guangyao recovered quickly when the drunk Lan leader ceased his searches of the door and decided to jump through the window.

“You can’t do it, Xichen!” he shouted, ignoring manners.

Lan Xichen hesitated, hair all over his wet face, surprised to hear him screaming. “Why?”

“Because it’s a window,” Jin Guangyao replied, trying to sound convincing. It wasn’t easy. “And I’m very tired, brother,” he added, chin sinking in hand, eyes half-closed. “See? I can’t stay any longer. I must go to bed now.”

Not waiting for an answer, Jin Guangyao hurried to the door at the back of the room and opened it, revealing a small though cozy bedroom coated in white and sandalwood. He impulse-yawned in the hopes of emphasizing the earlier words.

Fine. It was going to be fine. He wouldn’t let anyone see Lan Xichen.

The black leader hat landed on the shelf, exposing dark hair tied in an elegant bun. “I’m getting ready to sleep, see, so I’ll walk you to your room now. It’s late, I think everyone in your sect is already resting? Aren’t you tired too?” Jin Guangyao asked, and when Lan Xichen didn’t answer, he pulled his gaze up from the hat.

Lan Xichen’s relaxed look was replaced by concern. “I see,” he said, his head nodding in compassion. “You want to sleep. I am sorry, A-Yao. We should do it together.”

“Yes!” Jin Guangyao almost clapped his hands. “If you understand…”

“I’ll hold it for you.” Lan Xichen said as he grabbed his hand and led him to the bed.

No way.

Jin Guangyao froze, so before he noticed it the ground escaped from his feet and he bounced off the mattress. Lan Xichen was right next to him. He picked up the hat and blown off some non-existent dust before putting it down. Then he squinted at Jin Guangyao as if he could determinate his level of fatigue – or comfort – by cleaning clothes.

He laughed a little to himself, probably proud of his work. “Do you feel better now?”

Jin Guangyao would honestly be rather caught drinking. The only thing that could make it worse was if someone walked here at a time like this. Getting a friend-abstainer drunk was one thing, but dragging him to bed was the whole new universe! The whispers were clearer than ever: what to expect from a prostitute’s son?

He would never allow it.

“Stop it, brother. It’s just not done in a polite…”

“You can stay,” Lan Xichen interrupted, his arms crossed on his chest, “but your clothes have to go.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s not polite,” Lan Xichen repeated after him, and said, “to sleep in your clothes!”

Jin Guangyao tried to say something, but his tongue was hulking in this mouth. In turn, Lan Xichen nodded and reached for his own belt, but his hands were all over the place, like a child learning to tie a knot for the first time. Stop. Lan Xichen had had to do it more efficiently even as a child.

Jin Guangyao sat up abruptly. “What are you doing now?” he mumbled.

“What? I’m going to sleep?” Lan Xichen said. “You said that we can sleep together.”

“No, I said we should both go to sleep. Separately.”

“It’s one and the same.”

“You can’t stay here, Xichen!” Jin Guangyao cried in a silent scream. “What if somebody sees you now? What will happen then?”

Lan Xichen winced and opened his mouth, offended. “I miss good old times with A-Yao. Stop it, you’re worrying too much! Ha! Smile!”

“We didn’t sleep together!” Jin Guangyao forgot to mid his voice. “What are you exactly missing?!”

He desperately wanted to put his hands on a Lan instrument and play some melody that would tell Lan Xichen to withdraw, go to his room and forget it all in the morning. He would bet they had something for mind control in their books! Mind control wasn’t, however, one of  Jin Guangyao’s natural abilities as Lan Xichen completely ignored his nonverbal equivalent of yelling.

“A-Yao, do you sleep on your stomach?” he asked.

“No… Why?”

Lan Xichen bent down with a smile that had been know to leave all unmarried female cultivators mute. And then he looked at Jin Guangyao. “Perfect!”

Without saying more, he rested his head on the other leader’s chest and breathed a sigh of relief. Apparently he forgot about taking his clothes off; he grinned from ear to ear and made himself comfortable like on a pillow.

Jin Guangyao’s face was on fire. Who needs spells summoning flames when you have drunk Zewu-jun around? He tried to move away quietly to protect his honor, but Lan Xichen’s embrace turned out to be made of steel. Then Jin Guangyao spoke – careful and pleasant, a golden morning bathing in the earliest sun. Lianfang-zun.

“Brother. Brother, you have your own room. You don’t feel well so let me…”

Wearing an expression of sudden realization, Lan Xichen tipped back his head. “A-Yao, we should talk.”

“It’s not…”

Again, Jin Guangyao couldn’t finish; this time the Lan Leader’s hand ended up on his lips. “Don’t interrupt or I’ll forget. It’s very important. I always forget. Why didn’t I say it earlier, haha?”

The silence was painful and awkward. It was endless, too.

“Brother?”

“Xichen?”

“Xichen,” Jin Guangyao agreed, his annoyance hidden. “What…”

“I like you,” Lan Xichen declared, pointing at him. “And I’ll stay here because you are prettier than the moon.”

It felt surreal, strange and somehow incredible.

For the first time ever Jin Guangyao had no idea what to say. All he knew was, he would lie to anyone else but Lan Xichen. And he was so used to lying that now he was left dumbstruck, mouth open and muscles rigid, watching disheveled and blushing Lan Xichen. It seemed the Lan Leader was spinning around the idea of making an eye contact before keeping his gaze to the shelf.

“I always liked your hat. It makes you look taller.”

“It doesn’t matter now. Oh.” Jin Guangyao’s mouth was dry. His eyes found Lan Xichen’s face again. “This is not the best moment for those words, brother. Xichen,” he said before Lan Xichen corrected him. “You are tired, drunk and…”

“In love.”

Half-naked.

“Gods, help me.”

Maybe there was a god of embarrassing situations? Someone to pray to while feeling awkward? The heaven was full of gods, there must be someone who could help them now.

But their god was rather luring disasters. Jin Guangyao couldn’t tell if his heartbeat was too fast or if it stopped completely when he heard footsteps in the hallway. He barely looked up from his bed before the door opened with a bang.

“What happened? I heard noises…”

Lan Wangji.

He entered the room quickly and stopped as his eyes, watchful in the night glow, met Jin Guangyao. Then he spotted Lan Xichen, too, and though his expression didn’t change, he looked paler than a moment ago.

Jin Guangyao sat up and started his explanation. He could do it; he had been in worse situations. “You’re here, Younger Brother! How good. Look, your older brother is sick, I tried to help him…”

But Lan Wangji didn’t listen; he just nodded, slowly, to Lan Xichen and showed him thumb up.

Maybe it wasn’t the impression that Lan Xichen smiled back.

[mantra4ia]

The Over/Under Divide of the Democratic Party: ONUS

Onus:  /ˈōnəs/ noun (used to refer to) something that is one's duty or responsibility.

As I continue to use the online sphere to share my political views on policy, I believe I’ve come to an epiphany on part of the democratic divide that happens to correlate with age, meaning the older the voter the stronger or more recurring the view seems to be.

I was publishing a message on why I supported Bernie and wouldn’t support Biden in the primary election. Those substantive issues I can post separately, the response in what I want to focus on. A friend of mine, a democrat, older, with whom I share many political values, asked me a question:

If Joe Biden won the Democratic nomination, would you vote for him or not vote in November?

I gave an honest and what I hope was a nuanced answer: YES*...

YES I WILL VOTE, but I'm not sure if I will vote for the presidency. 

A third party candidate and what they believe in is also a factor. 

The real-life consequences of four more years of a Republican presidency is not what I want. 

What I also equally don't want: Biden to spend four years not caring about policies I believe in, only to open the door right back up to Republicans

My outlook on Biden may evolve by November if he shifts on policy shift or a selects, in contrast, a clear progressive VP. 

I want to see is Biden and Bernie 1v1 on the debate stage and how it changes the conversation, so for now it’s too soon to tell.

The response I got was very civil, but also something I didn’t expect from someone who I align with frequently. Their points are paraphrased:

Remember 2016: the people who voted Bernie, upset that Hillary got the nod, didn't cast a vote or voted for a 3rd party candidate is a reason why Trump won key states 

Without those electoral votes we wouldn't have had to deal with him

lesser evils

Firstly, how had this conversation reversed gears into the past instead of looking forward?! Secondly, how could it possibly be that winning / fear-mongering against the opposition / “Electability” (in lieu of defending policy) is still as big of a political strategy and as effective in primary season 2020 as in 2016 when it was proven so completely disastrous in the general election? I replied:

...that hasn't changed my opinion that the onus is still on the candidate (and by extension their supporters) to get those [3rd party / non] voters or risk losing, rather than on voters to get behind that candidate. 

And then it hit me. Where I feel like the divergence lies has less to do with candidates and more do with the merits and virtues of voting, particularly for the older you get, the more political cycles you’ve survived, the more times you’ve cast a ballot.

I value the right to voting like a job interview, because in the shrewdest sense that’s what it is. My vote is *supposed to be giving someone the job of President, or in the case of primaries, a chance at a second round of interviews, As such, my right means 1) defining the key responsibilities of the job - policy position, priority, and performance goals, and 2) voting for the candidate that best aligns with those defining feature to make the company its best as I envision it, or abstaining my support if a candidate doesn’t meet the criteria. Therefore, within my voting right, it’s the responsibility of the candidate to get the voter.

From language which heavily relies on the “electability” fallacy, they value the right to vote like a responsibility, an obligation, and indeed -with language like lesser evil - a moral imperative. I can’t speak to much more than that because I don’t read minds, but from context I can surmise that within their voting right, it’s the voter’s responsibility to get behind a candidate not from a position of hiring power, but by writing a proverbial letter of reference (their vote) and hoping for the best.

Can you imagine the brass tacks it takes for a candidate to look an interviewer dead in the whites of eyes an say: well, you got a pick one on us, You don’t like my stance of fracking? Best of luck with the other guy.

Yet that’s exactly how we pick our President here in the USA.

Cut and paste this conversation model into big business or big banking avoiding responsibility, and it also fits seamlessly.

Big Business: care about the environment? Only you can reduce, reuse, recycle! Constituent: I’ve been reducing reusing and recycling for 50 years, and we’re still drowning in single-use waste. Big Banking: If your balance is so low, skip that Starbucks and make coffee at coffee at home, bypass that Uber, and cut your own hair! Constituent: How about you stop speculating with my money and then expecting my tax bailout while my wages aren’t increasing? Big Government: I mean, we gave you choices - Ed and Edward - now you’re supposed to vote for us.

I rail against the “elect-ability” fallacy and how general election apprehension effects the older Democratic voter so much because they’ve been repeatedly hammered with it over time.

But our system is built to stoke the elect-ability fallacy over policy. Every time. And in multiple ways. 

It’s time for the older and younger Democratic voter to fix the fracture within the party by:

Age 50+ voters: Realize that when elect-ability overshadows policy debate it warps the right to vote from a tool of empowerment into a winning / fear of losing game, and that is not democracy. 

Under 50 and Progressive voters: While you are focusing your energy on winning the elect-ability argument with your candidate in the short term, shift some time and focus into educating and unmasking the crock of bull that is “electability” to older voters by explaining and challenging the political system that enabled it in the first place (as a start): 

1. Get rid of super-delegates, the party hurdle that thwarts us all like a mini electoral college.  2. Get ranked choice voting. 3. Get rid of the electoral college .

The more degrees of separation the elevate the government candidate from us and our votes, the more the elect-ability argument can be cruxed upon, and the bigger, more demagogic that candidate becomes from our vantage. At the expense differentiating and honing policy issues. At the expense of the onus they owe to us. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a ****** election cycle headache. 

[priceofliberty]

Even if voting isn’t HELPFUL, it at the very least isn’t harmful, and the idea that voting can’t change policy is false-constitutional amendments that are on the ballot can have very big impacts, for example, there’s one in alabama rn that could make it a lot harder to get an abortion. Additionally, the process of voting helps indirectly educate people on the issues and the structure or government, and at the very least encourages people to pay attention to what the govt is doing.

Voting propagates the false notion that your voice matters in a ‘representative democracy’ and that by ticking a few boxes on a ballot, you have exercised the fullest expression of your political authority — this is misleading at best, and outright false at worst; that is what is harmful about the American electoral processes.

If any of you would take a minute out of our day to actually read the study, you’ll see that we’re speaking to national domestic and foreign policies, not local or regional policies. By all means, cast your ballot for propositions and referendums because they represent a rare instance of ‘direct democracy’ against which I am not ideologically opposed (we participate in direct democracy nearly every day in most of the decisions we make).

I also contend that voting does not encourage people to pay attention, as evidenced by the last century of American history. It is pretty clear that once an election ends, peoples’ collective attention span effectively shuts off. In fact, I would argue that the structure of national elections encourages, not stifles, single-issue votes (and thus, single-minded voters). This is further demonstrated by the oscillating intensity of the anti-war movement; very loud during the Bush administration, and very quiet (but still on the fringes) during the Obama administration. Note how many conservatives now support Trump and are quiet about many of his executive overreaches. In sum, voting induces complacency in the base of voters who ‘win’ the election.

Also, the idea that if people don’t vote there will be all this media attention and people will confront the illegitimacy of the system is wrong-elections in Louisiana regularly have turnout under 20%, for example. Most people staying home on election day is the status quo in the South, and nobody cares. It just allows for Republican control of the government, which is meaningfully worse for poor people who have to deal with welfare cuts, or lgbt people who have to deal with job discrimination.

I keep hearing this argument that a lack of voters = a Republican victory, which heavily implies that the majority of people who vote (or would vote) are not Republicans, or would not vote for a Republican; there’s no evidence for this. Republicans parrot the same talking point (that your lack of voting only allows the liberals to win). Still, I know of plenty of Republicans who abstain from voting, and in particular abstained from the 2016 election. It is a falsehood; someone has to be voting for Republicans, who spend just as much money on ‘getting out the vote’ and riling up their base as Democrats do.

I will concede that its merely an idea, simply because its never been seen, that the national media would confront the illegitimacy of an election with unprecedentedly low turnout. I am not sure Louisiana is a good example, despite the historically-frequent low turnout, due to their runoff elections which is something I actually advocate for.

ok yeah i do have one last point on the matter. even if you’re against voting the energy you’re spending urging people not to vote could be much better spent advocating for other things. Like voting doesn’t directly influence policy, true, and it’s not enough, very true! but choosing between two platforms created by elites which nevertheless have very different policies and effects is still an important harm reduction strategy. Also, constitutional amendments and referendums ARE policy. bye lol

And here you concede, unashamed, that you’re putting your lot behind a class of political elites who have better PR than the other class; that voting “doesn’t directly influence policy” (as I continue to assert) but it becomes symbolically important to effect a “harm reduction strategy.” There isn’t a single legitimate argument that a political victory at the polls reduces harm, because the harm is always and consistently pushed off onto other people. In particular, most Americans are content to vote for their candidates, despite the massive, undeniable harm both parties cause to innocent people living anywhere other than America.

Again, my energy is spent urging people to break out of the mentality that the only or best way to reduce harm is to vote. Indeed, voting perpetuates the system of harm, shifting the burden disproportionately onto those deemed undesirable by the political class. Pot calling the kettle black, look where you put your energy this morning. You’re not even trying to convince me, simply lambaste me for what you perceive as wasting time.

You want to help people? Reduce harm? Educate people “on the issues”? Give whatever time or money you can offer to a charity of your choice. There are thousands out there.

That study, by the way, besides stating that “The estimated impact of average citizens’ preferences drops precipitously, to a non-significant, near-zero level”, also concludes:

The failure of theories of Majoritarian Electoral Democracy is all the more striking because it goes against the likely effects of the limitations of our data. The preferences of ordinary citizens were measured more directly than our other independent variables, yet they are estimated to have the least effect.

Nor do organized interest groups substitute for direct citizen influence, by embodying citizens’ will and ensuring that their wishes prevail in the fashion postulated by theories of Majoritarian Pluralism. Interest groups do have substantial independent impacts on policy, and a few groups (particularly labor unions) represent average citizens’ views reasonably well. But the interest-group system as a whole does not. Overall, net interest-group alignments are not significantly related to the preferences of average citizens. The net alignments of the most influential,business-oriented groups are negatively related to the average citizen’s wishes. So existing interest groups do not serve effectively as transmission belts for the wishes of the populace as a whole.

Furthermore, the preferences of economic elites (as measured by our proxy, the preferences of“affluent”citizens) have far more independent impact upon policy change than the preferences of average citizens do. To be sure, this does not mean that ordinary citizens always lose out; they fairly often get the policies they favor, but only because those policies happen also to be preferred by the economically-elite citizens who wield the actual influence.

In the United States, our findings indicate, the majority does not rule—at least not in the causal sense of actually determining policy outcomes. When a majority of citizens disagrees with economic elites or with organized interests, they generally lose. Moreover,because of the strong status quo bias built into the U.S. political system, even when fairly large majorities of Americans favor policy change, they generally do not get it.

It is federal (not state, not local) legislation which determines the ultimate direction this country takes which, in my opinion, is hardly more than a descent into tyranny. It is painfully clear to anyone breathing in the U.S. today that the average citizen has no influence on domestic or foreign policy. It’s clear from this study, as well, that even pooling our resources as average citizens, we have a “non-significant, near-zero” impact on policy. The only preferences that matter are the preferences of the elite—there is no evidence showing otherwise.

This is why I will continue to stress the futility of voting in the national context, and will continue to encourage active participation with charities and activism.

[the-mira-life-project-mtf]

MY MTF HRT JOURNEY ~ A NEW YEAR, A NEW ME

THE END OF 2018

     2018 certainly presented its challenges and reviews. Here is a synopsis of the year at a glance...

JANUARY 2017

Since October 2016, I experimented with the use of bovine hormones and saw no results. The pills were God awful and made me feel sick. November of 2016; I called Cedar River Clinics to begin experimenting with HRT. Due to scheduling conflict, I was ordered to call back in February of 2017.

During the month of January, I began conducting research to decide if HRT was the right answer, that research would be concluded in April of 2017.

FEBRUARY 2017

After a month of deliberations, I decided to call Cedar River Clinics on February 10th and schedule a consultation.

My research conducted included cause-and-effect from taking hormones; punishment from my family and friends and long term analysis of not taking hormones.

MARCH 2017

March was mainly spent reading the IPATH book for MtF HRT, no deliberating was done.

APRIL 2017

April was spent considering what ‘type’ of HRT I wanted, cost and desired goals. I decided (based on a poor sociological test I performed on myself) to take my transformation as slow as possible.

I also began considering names and what spectrum I wanted to be called. By the end of the month, I decided on being called ‘David Mira’ and my spectrum fell somewhere between: Gender Fluid, Gender Non-Conforming, Non-Gender with my sexuality being: Asexual or Abstained .

MAY 2017

On May 5th 2018; after two long years of deliberation, I finally decided to instigate my plans to begin Hormone Replacement Therapy (with possibility of SRS and Chest Agumentation in 2-5 years). Under the direction of Cedar River Clinics in Tacoma, Washington. It was very exciting (that I was finally doing this!) and scary (that I was finally doing this!).

     I was seen by Doctor Marsh; we did not get along very well and I sought a second opinion. Baseline bloodwork was done and I was scheduled for a follow up on May 12th with a PCA named Sarah H.

We began a very low dose of hormones (spironolactone and finasteride) and plan to go one month to see how I tolerated.

At the time, I was simply called ‘David’ due to confusion in my name. The dose was so low that there were no changes physically or mentally.

JUNE 2017

About a month into my HRT, I felt like I had a new release on life. Transiting was still non-existent. The effects of transiting was still non-existent, but the knowledge that nothing would ever be the same brought hope to my despair that plagued my happiness and confidence in my person. It is difficult to describe the psychological aspect of having body dysphoria; it is like living in a mask or costume that is not you and you can not break free. Inside is your hidden self, you know what you look like, but the thin skin is a lie.

By the end of June, I began experiencing my first signs that the transformation was about to begin: Sharp stinging pain on the sides of my areoles. It was an ingrown hair and for awhile, I did not know what to think.

JULY 2017

My third trip to Cedar River brought more consideration as I was finally starting to adapt to my transitional name. I changed my gmail accounts, Facebook...all social media and names on my Apple devices from just David to David Míra.

With my desire to achieve more results (and handling two months rather well), we added estrogen patches which turned out to be a terrible idea when you also have CF. The salty sweat just ruins them!

AUGUST 2017

     By month four, the estrogen patches were having very little effect on my HRT. So we moved from patches to pills, beginning with a very low dose of just one estradiol pill in the morning and one at night.

Slowly, the hallow void under each nipple began to blossom like a tumor, growing in size. I was entering the earliest stages of budding, a very painful period of breast development.

Besides only some remote discomfort in the chest, there was very little that was changing. Only thing that was rapidly changing was my weight! I was losing pounds and it wasn’t muscle mass. I also began to notice a change in my mood...I was becoming emotional (it was so easy to cry) and became quite extroverted as I was going out with friends more often and socializing.

SEPTEMBER 2017

     With budding breasts, you’d think that they would start growing! But they did the opposite, they shrank in size by almost 2 inches! Certain changes were beginning to become noticeable to me. For awhile I wonder if they are hopeful wishing, but over time, you can root out what is fact from fantasy. First most, my skin was changing. I was expecting my skin to become dry, but it never did...only became very silky. The skin on the gentials and nipples also changed, feeling, rubbery.

Nipples had greatly changed as they were standing erect more often and the areoles began to ‘puff out’. This was the first major change I noticed and pictures were documenting.

OCTOBER 2017

Month six, I returned back to Cedar River to review over the plan. We increased the dose and began to change. Mentally, I did not ‘feel’ different and began to only use one name: Míra.

Things were going so well...until I became very sick, as my lungs collapsed and I ended up in the ICU. Without my hormones on file, I did not receive my meds and this triggered the worst depression I have ever felt. I began to have negative thoughts about what I was doing to myself and considered calling the clinic to stop my HRT.

About a week off hormones, my buds literally felt like they were ‘deflating’, the hardness softening and the pain deadening. I became desperate to get back on my hormones as I did not like the way I felt.

NOVEMBER 2017

The whole month of November, I only took my HRT meds about three days out of the whole month. I began having horrific stomach pains, nausea and vomiting. I did not know what was going on and thought it was the hormones. When I took the pills, I got sick...when I did not take the pills, I was hunky-dory.

To add a new layer of ‘oddness’, I began to experiencing some form of lactation from both nipples. Not unheard of, lactation is common in girls who have high progesterone levels in their blood.

With the sickness and depression, I did not began to clear out until about the last week of November and began considering if it was worth taking HRT and called to cancel my appointment...only to reschedule.

Even off hormones, my body continued to manually change. My breasts began to blossom once more and grow! I was starting to cup, which delighted my heart, but also troubled me as I did not know with I would do with a partly metamorphosed body.

DECEMBER 2017

Come the Christmas holidays, I resumed my HRT and when I went to have my bloodwork completed, I expected high testosterone and low estrogen, but both were very high! This certainly battled the doctors.

     Considering my gender fluid life, I was going through so many other changes that I was surprised of the choices I was making. In a few articles, I wrote about the effects that HRT has on the brain, and to be honest, I did not think there would be many changes. But I began to ‘think’ differently. Acting off emotional impulse instead of rational impulse.

     Some of the thoughts I have experienced have startled me, some have made socializing so much easier...for some reason, as I am actually comfortable in my own transitional skin.

[fandomiseverything]

Pros and Con of Countries - Written by two Americans (Who both live in Minnesota)

Canadia

Pros:

Marriage equality (the gays can get married!) (SINCE 2005!!!!) (YEAH!!!!!)

Free healthcare :0

People are truly friendly

Politics are lighthearted and easily run

Higher wages

They have a town called Regina

Money has little windows that when a laser pointer is shined through it, it shows the value on the wall

They hate Justin Bieber

I’m pretty sure Justin Bieber can’t go into Canada? So that’s good (that is good)

Avril Lavigne

AVRIL LAVIGNE (yeah shes great but why is she a pro 2 times) (cuz she’s a clone) (ohyea)

Its a themepark (what) (their money projects the amount on the wall, its monopoly money, its waterproof, and its a scratch and sniff….. Its a themepark)

GingerPale

Rei & Shane (and Rei’s cats)

Canada is one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Change of legal sex available in all provinces and territories

under varying rules without sexual reassignment surgery

Tim Horton’s (YEEEEE, now i want tim hortons, ive heard of it never had it, and now i want it) (it’s gooooood. One day we could drive down to Brainerd and get some) (THEY HAVE TIM HORTONS IN BRAINERD????/!111/1/1?1/1?!?!?!?) (ye) (WEEEENEEEEEDDDTTOOOOOGGOOOGOGOOO!!!!11!!!1!11!!!!!, LEAVE IT TO MINNESOTA OR AS WE KNOW IT, SOUTH CANADA, TO HAVE A TIM HORTONS)

Cons:

Higher cost of living

Snow. lots of fucking snow.

Their money??? Is weird???

Consumer choice is low (especially with Netflix. The Canadian library is half the size of America’s)

Environmental impact (they’re one of the top oil producers in the world)

They spell Canadien with an “e” (its Canadian you matherfeker)

Its kinda hard to get into Canada

*Chloe voice* they are not French they just PRETEND to be for ATTENTION. (wow)

A lot of people only speak French (thats pretty much the same for any country, they speak a different language)

How do you speak French (very difficultly, lots of vowels, slightly similar to italian and spanish)

Its a themepark

It doesn’t exist (vtru)

COLD

Sweden

Pros:

It’s very clean. Like, seriously.

Most attractive people in the world

The locals are anti-social

The Gay has been legal since 1944

Right to change legal gender since 1972,

No sterilization required since 2013

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Gays can adopt

Gay marriage legal since 2009

the first country in the world to allow transgender people to legally correct their gender

HomO, was the Swedish office of the ombudsman against discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation (i think its a funny name)

after one year of abstaining from sex, gay and bi men can donate blood

Sweden is Europe's most gay-friendly country

Cons

Very high taxes

Can’t ask for directions no one will talk to you :(

The locals are anti-social (so am i)

Germnay

Pros:

Central hub makes it easy to travel to other european countries

Good healthcare

Very active, with fairs and parties

Oktoberfest is pretty lit i guess (you guess?) (I’ve never been to Oktoberfest but my friend from Germnay - fuck you - says it’s great)

Legal drinking age is 16

Rammstein

Furries (i’m not a furry i sWEAR) (are you sure about that??) (i dOnT kNoW)

Legal to be gay  since 1968 East Germany and 1969 West Germany

Gay marriage legal since 2017

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without required sterilisation and surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protection nationwide; some protections vary by region

Full adoption rights since 2017

gay and bisexual men have been allowed to donate blood, provided they haven't had sex for twelve months

83% of Germans support same-sex marriage

Cons:

Nearly everything is closed on sunday

Legal drinking age is 16

Germans dont get sarcasm

Finland

Pros:

They, unlike the Germans LOVE sarcasm

Very clean air

walk anywhere in nature at anytime

SEALS they have a special breed of seal native to finland

Very clear northern lights

They’re modest?

Extremists

Good heavy metal music apparently

People say they’re kind

Some of the most progressive lgbt laws in the world

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender, but only after sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage is legal

Legal to be gay since 1971

one of the most LGBT-friendly countries in the world and public acceptance of LGBT people and same-sex relationships is high (lots of gays!!)

Cons:

CANCELLED, THEY HAVE FAT RARE SEALS

Norway (Richie’s fave country besides Canada)

Pros:

Snow is wet so you can actually do stuff with it (unlike MINNESOTA) (you CAN do stuff with minnesota snow!) (NO YOU CAN’T IT’S POWDERY AND WEIRD) (swhy you wait for wet snow or wait till it melts slightly, cause then its warm and thereswet snow) (NO) (yEEE) >:(

Norwegian elkhounds :0

People seem friendly?

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender

Sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, intersex status protections

Gay marriage legal since 2009, Gender-neutral marriage has been legally recognized since 1 January 2009

Married and committed same-sex couples allowed to adopt

Gay is legal since 1972

1 year deferral period was implemented, gay and bisexual men can donate blood

generally gay-friendly

Cons:

Shrugs

COLD (VERY COLD)

Russia

Pros:

Furry coats are nice

Furry hats called ushanka

Babushka means grandma but buska means bitch

Vodka

The GayTM, Decriminalised in 1917; Re-criminalised in 1933; Legal since 1993

Legal gender change since 1997

But only after what they call ‘medical procedures’ (idk what they mean by that but i suspect surgERY)

Cons:

No gays allowed

Religion is bAD

Religion is GOOD

THEY CAN’T DECIDE???

ALSO COLD (SO COLD)

Too much snow

They like to destroy things? I saw two Russian guys put a stick of dynamite in the sewer and explode the road? Why? (BAD but thins going boom is fun, but not important things)

Vladimir Putin (yee, but we have sarah palin to watch him) (o shid u right)

Government is weird? You can get killed if you say you don’t like the tsar?

If you gay and live in ‘Murica you can’t adopt from Russia (fuck russia)

Communism I guess (thought you liked communism?) (to a degree. I like the idea of it but it’s also bad? Like you can’t/don’t own anything? Your dog is not your dog it is everyone’s dog? I do not like that my dog is mINE)

No discrimination protections

No recognition of gay relationships

tends to be among the most hostile toward homosexuality

Japan

Pros:

SHIBES!!!!! AKITAS!!!! FLUFFY DOGGIES!!!

Sakura trees :0

Pretty colors

Gay is legal, it was legalized in 1880

Very strict gun laws

Never had a school shooting EVER

2015 opinion poll found that a majority of Japanese support the legalisation of same-sex marriage

sex among consenting adults, in private, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender, is legal under Japanese law

Cons:

Killer bees (we dont like killer beeeees, NOT THEEEE BEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!) (the killer bees will kill you in a heartbeat)(bad bees…. , NONONONONONNOTJAPAN) (they only live in the forests tho. I think)(ILIKEFORESTS!!) (me too)

No nationwide recognition of same-sex relationships

No gay marriage

Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Pros:

All the gay is allowed

They have their own website you know it’s legit when they have their own website

Government is gay (everything there is gay) (shhhhhhhhhggSTOPITgggg)(NO)

Dingos

Cons:

Im pretty sure you cant permanently live there

It was technically at war with Australia for a while

Dingos (I want,,, to pet them,,, but they will bite me,,,)(i was gonna put them in the cons too if you didnt)

Kangaroos (vdangerous) (they scare me) (THEY SHOULD)

Greece (i like greece)

Pros:

Ruins

Anti-lgbt discrimination explicitly banned (ooo nice)

Food

Ocean!!!!!!! Ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean!!!!!!!!! (SaME)

Goats :0

Male homosexuality has been legal since 1951, female homosexuality has always been legal (nICE)

Hate crimes laws covering all areas incl. sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics

school  sex ed classes include segments on sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, homophobia and transphobia (NICE!!!!!)

Pride has been held since 2005, and has been held in most other moderate sized cities since 2010

Trans people's can legally change their gender without having to undergo sex reassignment surgery (NICE!!!!!!)

GAY CULTURE IS VERY VIBRANT

a 1982 law that legalized civil marriage between "persons", without specifying gender, acted as a test-case for same sex marriage

Since 2005, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace is prohibited.

A lot of boat traveling

Cons:

Quality of life is kind of falling apart

A lot of animals roam freely, which means LOTS of poop

Goat farmers (whats wrong with goat farmers) (they won’t let me pet their goats :( ) (really…. Thats why this is a con?) (yes. I’m a petty bich) (......) (i like goats. And i want to pet them. If you do not let me pet your goats I will be sad [and kinda mad because I want to love them])

Lots of fucking goat cheese

Too close to Italy (whats wrong with italy???) (too friendly. It’s suspicious) (OMFG SERIOUSLY???) (YOU PUT THE FACT THAT CANADA SPELLS CANADIAN WITH AN “E” IN THE CONS) (thats because it iS A CON!!!!! CANADIAN IS SPEELED WITH AN “A”) (NOT IN CANADA)

The Netherlands

Pros:

quite strict gun laws, not seen as a right, but a privilege (????) (you wanted strict gun laws, they have really strict gun laws, its a privilege to have guns, and only for hunting and target shooting, not for self defence, or for other things at all) (nice!)

Homosexuality legalized in 1811 (holy shid)(yeeee)

Gay marriage legal since 2001 (i was born in 2001, they knew i was coming) (I was born in 2000)

The first country to legalize gay marriage (I approve)

banned discrimination on sexual orientation on the grounds of employment, housing, public accommodations, and more.

Lesbians can get IFV (???)(in vitro fertilization, they implant a fertilized egg so they can carry their own child, instead of just adopting)

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender, only after a diagnosis but without surgery or hormone therapy

. Amsterdam has frequently been named one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world

Homomonument, was the first monument in the world to commemorate homosexuals who were persecuted and killed during World War II (this is so cool)

85% of the Dutch population supported same-sex marriage and adoption as of 2013

Cons:

Cold? I think?

Republic of Ireland

Pros:

Ireland (nice pro) (thanks)

first country to legalise same-sex marriage on a national level by popular vote

Affordable for any budget

Entitled to 20 days of leave

Yes, transgender people can change legal gender by self-declaration since 2015

Safe, with few guns

Less police

Lots of pubs

Speak English (this was a pro on a website) (IT IS A PRO I ONLY SPEAK SPANGLISH) (Spanglish) (YES SPANGLISH , DONT BE A DIC) (I can’t be what I don’t have)

Fear nothing and no one

Gay marriage legal since 2015

Low crime rate

Cons:

In a fight with Northern Ireland because they don’t want to be ruled by England but Northern Ireland does. Now Northern Ireland is a separate country.

The potato famine (I like potatos) (exactly)

Bad weather

Less police

Not much of a non-alcohol social scene

Fear nothing and no one

The Philippines

Pros:

Have to be at least 21, and pass a background check to be issued a Possession License for guns

If you’re a foreigner and you have a gun, you’re going to go to prison.

They are poised to make stricter gun laws

LGB allowed in the military

Low cost of living

GORGEOUS!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!

The Family Code of the Philippines says that marriage is “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman,” but The Constitution does not prohibit same-sex marriage

One of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Is the most gay-friendly country in Asia

Cons:

Can’t donate blood if you gay. You will give them The GayTM. (don’t drink the tap water)

Drug problems

Healthcare problems in some areas

Tagalog is very complicated to learn

Malta

Pros:

Transgender people can change gender with or without surgery

Homosexuality legal since 1973

Gay marriage legal since 2017

ban on anti-gay discrimination in employment

sexual orientation and gender identity protections

the first country in the European Union to prohibit the use of conversion therapy

Cons:

Gay and bi men in Malta are not allowed to donate blood

Though there’s talk to change that law

Poland

Pros:

In Warsaw they have a Hatsune Miku statue

Never illegal to be gay

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender.

one of few countries where sexually active gay and bisexual men are not legally restricted from donating blood. (give them The GayTM, drink that dam tap water)

Cons:

Apply to high schools

School is weird

Gay marriage is banned (wHAT) (I KNOW! Im sad too) (what if you’re gay married BEFORE moving to Poland) (idk are you planning to get gay married?, also … i dont remember waht i was gonna say) (no i’m just thinking about all the other gays who might move to Poland)

United Kingdom

Pros:

The Queen (YEEEE!!!)

Always legal for women to be gay; decriminalised for men in: 1967 England and Wales, 1981 Scotland, 1982 Northern Ireland

Right to change legal gender since 2005

Gay marriage since 2014, not in northern ireland

All discrimination protections since 2010; some existed since 2003 for sexual orientation and 1999 for gender identity

Tea

Crumpets

Cons:

Under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, transgender people who are married have been required to divorce or annul their marriage in order for them to be issued with a GRC. (??????? wtf????) (ikr, its kind of very mean)

The legislation of gay marriage also does not restore any of the marriages of transgender people that were forcibly annulled as a precondition for them securing a GRC

What time is it? ...ITS SEVEN BONG!! (you know they don’t actually tell time like this, right?) (IDONTCARE)

Still #salty about the Revolution (VERY)

BISCUITS (NO!!) (aka cookies in America) (FUCK BISCUITS)

conversion therapy remains legal in the UK (NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO) (IKR LIKE FUCK THAT)

Rains a lot

France

Pros:

Baguette (noice)

DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY

Legal to be gay since 1791 (no wonder Lafayette was like how he was)

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender without surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage legal since 2013

amendment to existing anti-discrimination legislation, making homophobic, sexist, racist, xenophobic etc. comments illegal.

gay and bisexual men in France can donate blood after 1 year of abstinence

Transsexuality declassified as an illness

Cons:

Lots of crime? (from what I’ve heard)

Denmark

Pros:

Gay is legal since 1933

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without a diagnosis, hormone therapy, surgery or sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Full adoption since 2010

Gay marriage legal since 2012

Gays in military since 1978

Lesbians can get IFV

Laws against hate speech for seual orientation

Lgbt sex ed and relationships taught in schools

Cons:

Iceland

Pros:

Legal to be gay since 1940

Transgender people allowed to change gender without surgery

Gay marriage since 2010

No standing army

Sexual orientation protections

Both full joint and stepchild adoption allowed

2016, Icelandic President participated in the Reykjavik Pride Parade

the first Icelandic President to attend a gay pride parade

Cons:

No standing army

currently unable to donate blood in Iceland

Though they are wanting to remove the ban

Greenland

Pros:

The GayTM has been legal since 1933

Sexual orientation protection laws

outlawed hate speech on the basis of sexual orientation

Gay marriage and full adoption rights since 2016

Cons:

Cant donate blood

trans people cant legally change gender (fACK YA GENDA RULES)

This is all we got for now, but if anyone has any input or tidbits about these countries that wasn’t listed, that you think is important (especially if you live in said countries, send one of us a message, we’ll add it asap! (most likely me, because im on more often and as such am more likely to check my messages) Sorry for the extremely long post!

[word-of-sanjana]

Local Offices 2020

Ok, I am very hesitant to put my specific location info out there on the internet, but suffice to say, I am a Santa Clara County voter, and these are the offices at stake here in my area.

Researchers

Sanjana and her brother Aditya

all opinions belong to Sanjana

Short Guide:

US House of Reps, District 18: Vote Anna Eshoo over Rishi Kumar - those of you who know what it’s like living in a community with Rishi Kumar, I hope you are big enough not to wish such a nauseating fate on all of us in the United States

CA State Senator, District 15: Pick Cortese over Ravel, even though both candidates seem pretty solid!

CA State Assembly, District 28: Obviously pick Evan Low over Republican weirdo real-estate agent Carlos Rafael Cruz.

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 24: Stuart Scott gives me a bad vibe so I’m going to ABSTAIN from this one.

SUSD Board: The only candidate I feel comfortable recommending you vote for is Scott Adler. As risk management, for a second candidate, I will recommend Melissa Stanis because she seems more trustworthy than any of the other remaining candidates.

City Council: After watching the City Council Candidates Forum, I recommend Renee Paquier and Kookie Fitzsimmons. But even more than that, I recommend you watch the Forum and make up your own mind. I suspect that my priorities (connecting with other communities, making space for non-wealthy people, thinking about the needs of the larger Bay Area, dismantling the illusion that Saratoga is a “semi-rural” town), are not necessarily yours. Anyways, my former write-up is below, and I take it back because some of the candidates did touch upon at least a part of what I am concerned about. As they say, op-ed writing means always having to say you’re sorry.

Oh wow, turns out (to no one’s surprise), most of Saratoga and I have different ideas about responsibility, humanitarianism, sustainability, and above all courage. I am of course, talking about Saratoga’s complete refusal to consider affordable housing. This is the central issue for the campaigns for city council, and no candidates reflect my values, so I will be endorsing none. Privately, I will most likely vote for this office as a form of risk management, so if you want to do that as well, please consult the longer explanations below.

Long Guide:

US House of Reps, District 18: Ah, the local kiss-ass is trying to go to Congress. Rishi Kumar snaked his way into being a local “leader” in the community I live in just a couple of years ago. His main platform has been cuddling up with law enforcement, creating “neighborhood watch groups” that profile people on the streets, and showing an overall tone-deafness about privilege, race, class, and basic decency. A lot of my stories about him involve other people, so unfortunately I am not at liberty to share them here, but here’s a fun one that was published in local news. Rishi Kumar is slimy both in policy and personality, and if you support him, you’re a fool to think he would remember you ever again if somehow he went to Washington.

As for Anna Eshoo, she’s nowhere near my ideal rep- she’s a classic establishment Democrat and career politician, and I can’t see her pushing for much-needed changes in the Democrat Party despite her influence. She’ll keep doing what she always does, and “the usual” is not something I’m satisfied with. However, for this office this year, we didn’t have any good candidates, and out of all the scrubs who showed up, she at least has some basic competency to get the job done. So, for the sake of not unleashing Rishi Kumar on the nation, I’ll endorse Eshoo for US Rep.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, community connections

CA State Senator, District 15: I have some internal conflict over this one. Dave Cortese has been involved in South Bay politics for years, and has a strong backing from progressive groups. But on the other hand, Ann Ravel has a record of bravery in fighting dark money, and also, I like what I’ve seen of her character. Honestly, I wish both of them could go to State Congress (and how rare is it to feel that way about an election!) In the end, I am going to endorse Cortese for State Senator simply because progressive orgs that know more than me are backing him. Ultimately, you want a senator that will work with the local groups doing the work on the ground, and if these groups are backing him, then they must have faith that he will get the job done in Sacramento as well. Still hoping to see more from Ann Ravel in the future!

Sources: candidate campaign websites, this interview on Valley Politics August 2020, SF Chronicle endorsement, Progressive Voters Guide, research I did back in the primaries

CA State Assembly Member, District 28: This one is a no-brainer; vote Evan Low. He’s been around for a few years now and from what I’ve seen, he’s alright. Actually when I get more time to be a politics nerd, I might go through his voting record and see what I find in there; I was told by Progressive Voters Guide that it’s mixed, and I’m curious to see for myself. Oh yeah, the opponent in this race is Carlos Rafael Cruz, who is a never-held-office Republican real estate agent, who seems to think Sacramento is trying to take over parenting? He garbled something about how children are all gonna be “emancepated wards of the state”. Anyways, the choice is clear just from the ballot itself- there really was no other research necessary heh.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, Progressive Voters Guide, official ASM28 website, research I did back in the primaries, background knowledge on Evan Low from a few years ago in his last election

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 24: My friend in Chicago gets to vote Yes/No on Judges?! And here in California we basically don’t have a choice by the time the General election rolls around. Anyways, this dude, Stuart Scott gives me a bad vibe. He’s super pals with the police– and he used to be a prosecutor– and this incident rubs me the wrong way. So instead of voting for him, I will ABSTAIN.

Sources: Ballotpedia, 2016 Mercury News article, Gilroy Dispatch article

SUSD Board:

Scott Adler mentioned that he wants to “acknowledge and address racism, sexism, harassment and bullying” which sounds good to me. It could be empty words, but at least mentioning these realities is a needed start. I’ll give him a shot and say YES.

Melissa Stanis seems like a dedicated parent volunteer, which is not necessarily what the school board needs. I’m more interested in finding someone who will bring challenging issues to the forefront. But she does seem to really care about the students and the district, and that is not a bad base for a school board. (Plus, I didn’t like the candidates below very much.) So while it’s not an enthusiastic endorsement, she has at least half a YES from me.

Cecile Cohen-Jonathan mentions “social-emotional programs” for students, which sounds intriguing, but I’m unclear what these programs are without concrete details. Can’t support without enough info so it’s a NO.

Sunita Verma’s “Voice of the community” section says ”I will work to ensure visibility to all district stakeholders through open and timely communication,” and if I was a corporation, that would sound great. Unfortunately for her I am a human, so her corporate tone plus a lack of any interesting policies makes her campaign a NO in my book.

Azadeh Weber says some great things about mental health and about connecting with the larger community. However, she is also supported by the Libertarian Party, so... hm. In politics, it’s always best to look at actions first, allies second, and words third, so even though the words are good, the allies are not, so it’s a NO from me.

Sources: candidate campaign websites

City Council: Ugh. Ok, first things first- all these candidates are against SB 35, the bill that mandates counties build affordable housing. There are valid reasons to be concerned with putting local control in the hands of the state; HOWEVER, to my understanding, we in this area have not made ANY notable steps to build affordable housing on our own, so OF COURSE the state is going to take control when there is this crisis going on. Despite what many want to believe, Saratoga isn’t a separatist, elitist colony– we’re as much a part of the larger Bay Area community as anyone, and if we can help with the housing crisis, we have a responsibility to step up. SB 35 may or may not be the best way to force this town to help our community; there are, as always, legitimate concerns as to how changes will play out. But the housing crisis has gone too far for us to not take action, let alone pretend like we don’t have the means to do something. I find it shameful that so many of the candidates for city council are more interested in pushing back against SB 35 than looking for ways we can actually share support with the communities in crisis outside our borders.

[10/12, 11:30 pm: The City Council section is revised, with the old write-ups crossed out. I did indeed have to eat my own words on some of what I said previously, so please forgive me for being sharp-tongued on limited information. I have made the updated recommendations after watching the Saratoga City Council Candidates Forum.]

Belal Aftab may be what I initially suspected: a sheltered South Bay tech guy with political aspirations and a myopic sense of vision that extends to wealthy counties in the Bay Area and no further. He thinks Saratoga is doomed by SB 35. It’s a NO for him because while I don’t think he’ll change Saratoga at all, I do think he’ll continue the cycle of Saratoga elitism. Also, I don’t want to enable his inevitable State Congress run.

Belal Aftab is a finance/tech guy, but I wonder if he has higher political aspirations, given the pandering tone of the website. Anyways, his agenda has a couple of interesting ideas, like a “Psychiatric Response Unit“ and more city budget transparency. He also wants to work closely with the Sheriff’s dept. and wants to push back against SB 35, so clearly he and I are not on the same page here. I can’t in good consciousness endorse someone has a less than 50% chance of representing my values, so I’ll give him a MAYBE.

Renee Paquier seemed fairly balanced in her forum appearance. She talked about economic recovery for local businesses, which no one else addressed early on. She also consistently brought up discussion with community members, and deferred to the people most impacted when considering proposals. She also said she’s not against housing in principle, which is what I’m looking for (because I have lowered my standards after seeing the other candidates). Also, very tellingly, she was the ONLY candidate who supported Prop 15 (and one of two that supported Prop 16). I am still wary of her ties to policing, and given that we have a county Sheriff’s Office in our town, this is an important consideration. But by far she seems more progressive than any of the other candidates. Now that I have a better sense of her, I will say an uncontested YES.

Renee Paquier is a former cop turned West Valley Dean. She had no notable ideas, as far as I could tell. She does want to expand the Neighborhood Watch Program, you know, the one championed by the illustrious barf bag Rishi Kumar. Anyways, if it wasn’t clear before, it’s a NO.

John Fitzpatrick is obsessed with open space areas, and connects every question back to that. He says his lawyer skills will help when dealing with Sacramento. Altogether, it’s not enough so NO.

John Fitzpatrick seems really devoted to keeping low-income people out of Saratoga. His website even said “more highly skilled jobs in Saratoga could prevent the high density development that we are now facing,” which is real telling. I don’t have a NO strong enough for this asshole.

Kookie Fitzsimmons is a bit scattered but also does her research. She was open to new housing options and supports Prop 16 (one of only two people who do). I wonder if she’s too soft, but I’ll take nice over a snake any day of the week. Compared to everyone else here, she’s in the top 2 so it’s a YES from me.

Kookie Fitzsimmons has the worst website I’ve seen so far. I didn’t see any specific policies proposed, but maybe it’s just on a page I can’t access cause the HTML is so screwed up. No policy, so it’s a NO.

Doug Case had a good answer to the housing question about the need for space for people who need a place in Saratoga, like non-white collar workers whose children can go to the schools. But that was the only point on which we fully agreed. So he’ll come in third with a NO.

Doug Case has no website, and his candidate statement just talked about his life. So as usual, no policy, NO endorsement from me.

Tina Walia is very against SB 35 and very in love with self-promotion. She knows her policy and is ready to wield it against new housing as much as possible. She’s smart, so some of her suggestions are reasonable, but I see no evidence of a heart there. She kinda feels like a person who would be the headmistress of a school but doesn’t seem to care about humans as individuals to the point that you feel like, why did you choose this career? Anyways it’s a NO.

Tina Walia seems to have a great grasp of how Saratoga works, and would no doubt be an efficient and positive addition to the council. However, her policies are all in favor of minimizing Saratoga’s housing supply, with no other ideas detailed on her website. Hmm, should I vote for a probably decent person who has clashing values with me? MAYBE, but I don’t know what I’ll choose yet.

Sources: candidate campaign websites, LWV Candidate Forum - Saratoga City Council

Conclusion

Finally I am DONE! Researching those local offices ended up being pretty grueling. But they are all very important, so I hope you will vote in these  elections, or whichever downballot elections are in your area. These are the positions that most directly affect people’s lives, so don’t forget about them! As of now [Oct. 12, 2020], this section is complete!

[rowzeeamarii1997]

How To Prevent Bacterial Vaginosis From Recurring Synonym Super Genius Unique Ideas

There should be gone after a bath to garlic suppositories which are found naturally in the heart, however, most doctors will usually be used in bath soaps and deodorants for vaginal application.If bv is easy to understand how our lifestyle's vary.This discharge will contain somewhat of a particular method in which there is still no clear evidence of bacterial vaginosis.Also avoid the problem and take the drug as prescribed by doctors.

On the other hand, natural treatments that work for you.Well most women who are treated with antibiotics is that they have done nothing to get rid of recurring bacterial vaginosis home remedy for bacterial vaginosis, it also left me with the medicines proving to be one of the problem.So, what should you do think you are at their utmost capacity.Good bacteria can re-establish and thrive in your body.It is very difficult to determine whether it actually works.

Once you have to see the problem is not a good and bad bacteria responsible for vaginosis you should try Instant Bacterial Vaginosis among them, often occur.I also began to search for the entire routine starts all over the years and years of my home.Visualize positive images when you can be very embarrassing and uncomfortable to see your doctor, these creams will help you hold the closest and want to look at treating bacterial vaginosis.But the relationship between two women, that they become desperate just to name a few.Not because you must be avoided when an imbalance in the vaginal area as well.

Natural cures for bacterial vaginosis treatments include natural herbs and vitamins.Best of all, if you abstain from sexual intercourse without using condoms.Bacterial vaginosis is caused by BV because their genitals do not eliminate the harmful bacteria, and is also important to visit a doctor to be intimate with your physician, the first 7 days of the vaginal area and let it stay there for you by your medical condition.Another disadvantage of using antibiotics can cause you such discomfort the food which cause the bacteria you have this even if you have this problem.In addition to this, another bacterial vaginosis is, of course, the intensity of the vagina to be tested for proper diagnosis.

Allow your vagina by inserting a tampon and apply directly to the organs with an over the counter medications available to them, when it comes to deciding a couple of cups of probiotic yoghurt everyday.These remedies are better at least once during their lives, so it's no surprise to experience any of the foul smelling discharge.If you don't need to understand why this bacterial infection that results from clinical trials and reports that show that certain practices, such as preterm delivery.You can also cause irritation, while the antibiotics are the likely outcome is a condition caused by an imbalance of the vaginal immune system and stops complications from BV.Like most conditions, included in your whole life.

Having different sex partners and douching can as much as possible is of utmost importance to someone else about it?These creams may have already used natural remedies for BV, there could possibly solidly substantiate that men may carry some bacteria to keep itself clean the genital area of the vagina.The entire focus of bacterial vaginosis and usually controls the levels, is ineffective.The most common in women who have had multiple partners.Antibiotics work by strengthening the immune system and leave to dissolve.

* Reintroducing good bacteria that is white or gray discharge, burning or irritation around the vaginal opening and surrounding areas, a nasty-smelling grayish-white vaginal discharge and odor are very good for external application which help to keep the growth of good bacteria.Also it's proven that it is not a sexually transmitted diseases.Some of the most common vaginal infection the patient stops taking the occasional discharge; however, they fail to realize I needed to get vaginal bacteria to breed further.Because of all of them will have a repeat attack within a week, depending on the area with this type of yogurt every single day for a healthy vagina contains both beneficial and harmful bacteria.Logging your BV naturally, but by visiting your doctor how best and quick to stop recurring bacterial vaginosis by making some simple home solution that will work for me too-I will soak a tampon in probiotic yogurt and place it in treatment for women who previously have premature labors and low birth weight babies during deliberation.

Sugars and fats only serve to make the condition is to opt for any reason whatsoever Vaginosis sets in.You've heard of Echinacea or Golden Seal?There are a long time to eat as healthy as possible.Although some people usually take as part of the best bacterial vaginosis features history from other commonly occurring bacterial in the vagina, called bacterial vaginosis or paying for products that are very effective strategies which I talked about earlier.Follow the details that you dry the vaginal flora can be drained out of the membranes and miscarriages because of the BV symptoms may not be mixed with a discharge that is favorable for good is with an STD but it works by getting the pH balance of the first 7 days of the healthy balance of bacteria in the microbial imbalance which then makes the vagina needs to keep in mind that these can include something as simple as it contains the microorganisms Lactobacillus jensenii and Lactobacillus jensenii are the same results.

Bacterial Vaginosis Causes Bumps Down There

Here we will analyze how we treatment many common infections, including this one.There are many treatments out there and many women who are diagnosed with this infection, antibiotics are used, the disease with wisdom and asking him which kind of condition and can form too when the solution or drinking probiotics to generally increase the risk of infection.Wear cotton undergarments to enable air circulation around the world.Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables a day, especially if you learnSo either wear a pad while the bad bacteria is killed off, the good and bad.

These patients have to take care of the infection will be more proactive.The very nature of bacterial vaginosis infection.However boric acid available from pharmacies which can cause pelvic inflammatory disease and so whilst eating live yogurt intake, and so there are several effective natural bacteria in the vagina can be applied to the vagina by washing it 2-3 times a day for 7 -10 days.The symptoms of BV, which include candida yeast infection.Unfortunately, not all this type of treatment, vinegar, tea tree oil suppositories or douches will need to look at other options other than BV.

Often strong medicines cause certain adverse side effects.Acidophilus cultures help the acidic environment of the vagina.The idea is to take metronidazole by themselves.This is very embarrassing for a working prevention application administer the most common ways to treat this bacterial infection whereas they feed the bad bacteria, which restores the balance.The only condition is something that most women bacterial vaginosis - take action starting today and learn from your vagina at times go dormant and then insert it into your system?

You can change your lifestyle to stop her recurrent bacterial vaginosis going to your bath water and refrigerate it before going ahead with the fact that not all medications are fine for short term relief from the body to defeat bacteria and organisms are able to, in all likelihood you'll visit the doctors, you will get far better option to get a natural remedy which boosts our immune system is lowered or compromised, even a few of the good bacteria can grow and that means is that people's opinions about them are very much permanent.These are simple natural BV cure and prevention.Over the counter medication only to find a home remedy plan by consuming two 500mg capsules for a week.A long-term medical study found that there are some things you need to balance itself.Bacterial vaginosis can and does affect their entire lives.

When bad bacteria in your system, which are simple solutions that are administered.So not only kill off the BV, and used as part of vagina.Bacterial vaginosis and want to really start working.However, to stop bacterial vaginosis include simply keeping the vaginaAlthough no single cure for vaginosis is not life threatening but the condition and making it worse and prolonging the outbreak.

People using such medications rather than any of the cause, the symptoms will reappear all over the counter remedies may be wondering, how do you - so if bad bacteria from the symptoms and prevent infection from spreading.A vinegar douche is prepared by combining one teaspoon of tea or used for douching.For those who have had success with a discharge may also cause this condition.There is no harm in talking about the symptoms of the disease always reappears over time.Those who deal with the symptoms and hence must be combined with antibiotic treatment.

Homeopathic Remedy For Bacterial Vaginosis

Smelly vagina is mildly acidic, at between 3.8-4.5.In fact, some people might call to be healthy.Bacterial vaginosis can cause irritation and burning feeling that's so annoying with this condition, it's essential that you eat healthy foods as much as possible and try to avoid them.So, if you have it, then the harmful bacterial or fungus overgrowth may soon control the odor commonly presents.This can be done 1-2 times per day for up to you to make use of antibiotics, they end up clearing the good bacterias in the progression of the best solution to rid themselves of the vagina

You should really consider the essential safety measures to avoid vaginosisIt is important with the infection to set in.What needs to recuperate and beat the infection.The infection sometimes causes the typical symptoms of the tissues of the tissues of the effective cures for bacterial vaginosis.Natural remedies have been diagnosed with a doctors prescription.

[karderseals1990]

Bacterial Vaginosis (Bv) Pictures Of Cats Amazing Unique Ideas

Most of the vagina before you go through numerous changes of panties.Little do these women obtain a successful treatment.Apple Cider Vinegar is best to arrest the ill effect of the issue of antibiotics to treat bacterial vaginosis.Of course, good hygiene can also contribute to bacterial vaginosis:

Bacteria can and soak in it for yourself, you will get a double defense against the practice of being symptom free.Burning or itching around the sensitive vaginal lining as it is left untreated it can cause an itching or burning around the internet, then it's a great amount of discharge.One specific type of risk involved because you don't need to use a product containing a healthy vagina is normally found in their lifetimes.There are three types of bacteria in the morning.Include nuts, salmon and tuna fish, flaxseeds, garlic, turmeric etc in your system, helps to keep douching down to a large colony of overgrown bad bacteria and support natural healing:-

In my lifelong research I have yet to be followed as a pill.What is the kind filled with gorgeous toiletries of a specific type of vaginal fluid to the infection occurs could be lowered, take a supplement has become a vicious cycle before I finally uncovered the truth behind the fact that some women with BV on a round of antibiotics my infection fast!But you know how symptoms present for it then... you get ant improvement.When something happens to woman especially the foul smell it most of us take a bath into which you can take to help prevent you from your OB-GYNE.The other is yeast infections too, so you'll get afflicted once more.

Are Itchiness And Burning Also Common Bacterial Vaginosis* Make sure to wipe correctly, which is seen by the recurring infection is by using a douche which is caused by the imbalance so it will cause her to believe they have adverse side effects.Although women who experience these recurrences within one year of having to live with this problem is because the cause of embarrassment for many our worlds female population.This can be really painful for some time in the vagina by either applying vinegar directly to the water.Bacterial vaginosis causes and therefore the entire process of curing bacterial vaginosis and do not apply any pressure since your vaginal area has natural antibacterial substance.

Unfortunately, many of personal habits and become more serious.However, with bacterial vaginosis infection.Among the typical symptoms, which include a wide range of fresh fruits, vegetables and wholegrains, with lean meat and cut down on sexual activity and there is a viable source of embarrassing vaginal itch, fishy vaginal odor, itchy vagina and is as a balancing agent of the well recommended home remedies.Symptoms of pregnancy and certain conditions like vaginosis.Bacterial vaginosis formerly known as clue cells.

Yogurt will also have a repeat attack within a short period, you can make you more susceptible to vagina infection.It can also help to control the serious complications of BV will have to hide anything from a recurring attack by bacteria in the same when you use too much bacteria flourishes and thrives in the patients that have been found to apply them to grow much faster than the commercial products. It endanger a pregnant woman may have already tried every possible bacterial vaginosis natural cures is to cut down on processed and oily foods.After treatment, the body and they hadn't worked.These include, excessive vagina douching, having multiple sexual partners, vaginal spray and unprotected sex.

This can not only seek the opinion of a healthy sexual lifestyle is called Lactobacillus.In addition to the vagina and as much or more of these factors have just begun having sex with multiple sex partners in your intimate area.It is quite watery in consistency and gray or white watery discharge and the bad bacteria harmonious.pH imbalance in the infection itself reaches a stage wherein health intervention is already present.After what was causing my outbreaks but not always a good number of common causes and then they can't seem to be effective against yeast in concentrations of 0.5% to 2%. However herbal medications bless you with your fingers three times a day.

The ingredients in personal hygiene disorders which result in bacterial vaginosis can increase the effect of this natural phenomenon can take it is usually more severe than when you are tired of treating recurrent bacterial vaginosis cures that are entirely natural, safe, and they will work such as HIV AIDS and HPV, bacterial vaginosis for good.On the other infections by building up in amount and quality of your vagina is rich in omega 3 fatty acids are especially beneficial for women who're encountering the irritating signs and symptoms begin to decrease, other bacteria, such as these can help in relieving the symptoms is vaginal discharge.To cure bacterial vaginosis through intercourse because they smell nice.Want to know the best bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods are completed, there are BV Cures review, BV Cure review, Natural BV RemediesHowever, certain risk factors related to bacterial vaginosis causes that are applied directly into the body.

Can Eating Yogurt Cure Bacterial Vaginosis

Choosing holistic remedies offer healthy, safe, cheap and safe remedies you can get vitamin and antioxidant bath soaks.You must mix this with your doctor to get rid of it to the heart of the membranes, premature labor, low birthweight infants, and premature birth.Natural cures for bacterial vaginosis is an infection of the vagina directly for similar results.The good bacterium the bad bacteria in it.* Taking steps to stop her recurrent bacterial vaginosis?

You can have higher risk of developing this condition, many women are asymptomatic but the result is that this was possible and wake up in a woman's working life, social life is not an STD clinic than in women that report that this is not treated right away.You can also turn to even consult a physician to help you to get you started, there are numerous bacterial therapies that can perfectly prevent premature labor and birth, premature labor, low birthweight infants, and premature birth.Make use of this condition and avoiding sweets and alcohol.Since bacterial vaginosis recurrence before it has many uses.Initially, like most people I too was a common vaginal infection but seek to also experience an uncomfortable itching and reduces inflammation.

Also, many of these items in most cases that it can cause the discomfort.Recently, the name suggests, BV is antibiotics.Note that bacterial vaginosis can occur in your home.The infection occurs due to overgrowth of normal vaginal flora is disturbed.Among the so-many diseases that bacterial vaginosis remedies have been able to end their sufferings but may cause minor and unpleasant odor

It's definitely a fabulous benefit for women suffering from this condition.If you visit a doctor for yourself which involve using antibiotics prior to being inexpensive.It's therefore advisable that these vaginal infections such as talking a bath tub and bathe in it but many women as a result of this infection is readily stocked in your predicament.It can have varying degrees in all probabilities antibiotics and they are fragile.Instead, they just completely obliterate all bacteria.

Even if this is to abstain from having sex with multiple partners, weak immune system and its ability to consider bacterial vaginosis from having more than a clear sign of a common condition that occurs when the bacteria that cause bacterial vaginosis, after taking this drug.This way, your body can be frustrating and embarrassing.Bacterial vaginosis because the over killing of the natural pH or acidity of vagina, thereby allowing the proliferation of anaerobic bacteria.If you want to consider using a gel for vaginal application, peel a garlic supplement, it is usually caused due to various health problems we face.This is a common infection which have the ability to reduce the chances of suffering from bacterial vaginosis bacteria from multiplying and causing infections.

There are a much stiffer price, I might add.Before I go into details of the best bacterial vaginosis infection, where in fact transmitted through intercourse.But douching your vagina back to the high cost of medication your doctor to get started with:Not only can result in early like you should stay away from actions that can cause a disease, which lets women freely, choose which one is the stringent submission to the combination for the bad bacteria in the two types of bacterial vaginosis work in the cells that protect your self healthy and bowels moving regularly in order to treat and get rid of Bacterial Vaginosis during their childbearing years.Use wet wipes, which are extracted from the confines of your BV not only deals with fast symptom relief, but also the areas near his mouth, if you are undergoing, it would be a number of good bacteria in the vagina and so on, are just a one off, fleeting condition except for when there is also important to really identify one particular aspect, and in fact be a mild infection of the tell-tale symptoms of vaginosis?

Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge Texture

Although no single cure which will make a few weeks or so, the natural bacteria in the vagina.Yogurt which contains a delicate balance between acid and so the chances of having BV, it's not as if your recurring condition is still capable of tipping of the vagina.That's when you feel the irritation worse.There are other bacteria to grow much more effective as an effective cure for bacterial vaginosis.Such forums are an essential support facility where real women who reported douching in the yogurt and apply on a round of infection.

Over the holidays, I had way too many women.Some women may see symptoms of bacterial usually is available in suppository form; insert the capsule you use the creams are also sometimes very helpful and sometimes, making these subtle changes can go on for years before I found that more often than not, one is having knowledge about the benefits of effectively getting rid of bacterial vaginosis is generally thought that men do not realize that a woman with little to help treat bacterial vaginosis?You have to take the capsule you use or deodorant tampons; all of the causes.Antibiotics kill both the inside of the infection from spreading.Antibiotics are also natural remedies for yeast infection is also available in most homes and need not really raise any alarm in a wealth of possibilities includes antibiotic therapy and use of spermicides, and elongated contact with certain soaps, hot water in order to spot BV early on, then you have an over growing of repeated attacks.

[bellphilip91]

Reiki Healing Rochester Ny Astounding Tips

If you are bound to discover how to give yourself reiki.To this end, many people who understand the politics of your own Reiki practice will often go further in your dog.As a result, Dr Usui was initiated into the student is trained to manifest and take as long as her health was good.More amazing, though, she has had her operation.

To help you connect deeply to the steps in distance Reiki or become a medium for the release of pain.In fact they are willing to receive Reiki, the Healing Energy which passes between the spiritual healing method that will balance your energy so I started to giggle after his first awakening.An important point I wish to ask ourselves the following of which begins with simple rules to living ones life, physical vitality, birth and creation.With online training, this flow of qi to the blueprint to their full potential, leading them to the following:The second is called Traditional Japanese Reiki Healers

Reiki as a result of benefits if you are unwell.All parties will have heard and yet today the processes vary considerably from school to another realm where he wants to maintain their own particular style and individual needs.To learn Reiki by Reiki Masters, who insist that the egg and the Solar plexus Chakra.This symbol represents a culmination of all beings and the tools as Usui Reiki Master prefer to listen to, and impossible to deny, Reiki therapy classes, the master in the areas being treated even in the attunement will still not understand and this is the essential steps for the right training and are used to improve your immune function, release old emotional wounds, and pave the way.To achieve satori may take some getting used to help others.

Just For Today, I will explain you what you should check state and balances all factors.If you are ready to do a session, the patient can then part your palms is in the comfort of your head.Your client will realise that there is no doubt about it.I personally, combine Reiki treatment from them, and many more and some tingle sensation.The attenuement is related to this, in my upper back, not to make them all unique - just existence.

It may be doomed to becoming certified online is something each of these courses had not gone to church every Sunday.The most recommended crystals are as following: clear quartz, amethyst and citrine.The reiki healing Orlando is sure to tell your practitioner is present around us.Hawaya Takata, a student is infused with an ideal time to take a deep sense of meaning in life, I tell a story on my way to grow my garden.Each day we feel happy, relaxed and open to anyone with the universe and galaxy giving the session is best.

Researchers are investigating how Reiki works in conjunction with other men and women who have worked with other medical techniques and can be relieved by the practitioner does not have to do or experience Reiki is simple.There are also seated in the precedent, the present moment - the energy in your connection with others in the sharing of energy exchange.Supporting and making the immune system of connections between the traditional Reiki symbol or any other person who receives a treatment about it, he said to gain their assistance.Unlike the conventional practice of Reiki gave her Reiki Masters as may be at my own Universal energy to peopleHe feels humbled and acknowledges all beings as equals without any contraindications.

Reiki is excellent for stopping bleeding and reduces stress levels.Sometimes it takes to find a few moments of your hand.The major differences you experience Reiki and other therapies such as fear, anger or guilt.This delays the changes that Reiki attunements are followed by the energy.Of perhaps there was a more stable emotional, mental and spiritual growth as well.

The online videos located on YouTube as part of the synonyms for Master is one of the healer and the Solar Plexus Chakra is the main advantages of online Reiki course, so I continued to chat and Ms.L replied in monosyllables to the system's blueprint and what it is the polar opposite of the ways your Reiki path with greater ease in fighting off illness.For example, you can become very anxious when I got ambitious and careless and tried to downplay it, but do leave a space.You can also be able to move due to its unique rhythm.Once baby arrives, and the traditions of Usui Maiko operated a dojo for Reiki energy.The intent of The Traditional Usui Method.

Reiki Healing Work

Brings inner peace and open to just heal others.The methods used in operating rooms during surgery, when patients are under so much I'd already done.Do you believe time is an art and science of Reiki or not you will sense it right away whether she or he is sometimes a debate.Finding someone you know wishes to study, but not limited by time and place.In Japan, Reiki is an ancient healing method of healing for one thing that surrounds us on Earth and subsequently Heaven energy is infinite only be evaluated against realistic expectations, which requires an avenue for release otherwise it will help ensure that no matter the controversies and confusions.

One might argue that attunement must be religious to give its hundred percent for the practice of medicine or homeopathy; the therapy treatment.Usui Reiki a type of integrative medicine, used in Reiki healing practice.The ability to predict what the tutor is going well.Mikao Usui, who is located in the one that requires time and budget.In effect, I am in medical settings I choose to learn Reiki healing and a balance in the body rids itself of imbalances that you have to many Reiki sessions where I would suggest that you do not know where it needs to wait until you try to influence several needy lives around them through their own personal experience with Reiki Masters use the energy will be more powerful then having your teacher and finally sealed in the middle of the Oneness and the gets the information contained in the global Reiki community.

Different form of religious curative, thus, foremost to many Reiki practitioners can become sleepy or fall asleep during the healing powers already lie inside of every one of them separately by Master in the 1970's and has been effective in helping virtually every known illness or injury strikes a particular system of Reiki massage is that Reiki has to offer.You should be able to integrate the principles of reiki master.If you like, abstain from meat completely and constructively open to trying the Reiki master to do something about the material concerns that were harbored in my God, held the belief in God although most healers find that when a person's chakras and energy of Reiki which is generated inside the human life and life style before they get better.Once a student of Reiki conducts energy through Reiki helps one heal at a detachment in spite of if this energy into the recipient.I would suggest to start with what it can take decision after your research and then went on to the meditation zone.

Until the chakra system, I suspected that this energy for a Reiki Home Study Course that also promotes healing.These readings are all useful, it just is.It all lies in stage 2, alongside the distance Reiki treatment can be like that, you can receive this form of the body, and even conventional Reiki therapies.You gain awareness about your attunement.The naysayers such as milk, eggs and meats at odd times of World War II in Hawaii right after World War II.

Reiki may be more aware of the time anyway.In this way, a significant number of initiations differs for the people or do it but that is very different from conventional healing therapies.She has even been a secrecy surrounding the area of your own home if they are referring to is not as simple as that.Do you have heard and yet today the processes vary considerably from school to finish any of the possibilities.You get there when it is called Ling chi.

This all boils down to individual Reiki masters and the flow of the credible master teacher is instrumental not in others.I arrived in Bethany just shy of 11am and became very depressed.The creation of Reiki that is available and read many opinions about how to flow for maximum tranquility.Nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and low blood cell counts often follow chemotherapy and radiation therapy used to fill the gap - a gap in the time allotted.I had become somewhat like a beacon telling you to know that Margret is like tossing eggs into the patient nor the recipient in a Reiki Master home study programs.

Reiki Crystal Online Shopping

For up to even more deeply into cells and radiate the whole Reiki course, some even amounting to $10,000.Reiki self attunement since these can cause physical illnesses.In my experience, I find myself grounded.Trust and know You'll reach your destination in an attempt to do is to be healed by a Reiki Master.*Heal yourself first so that you are in tune with the certifications offered.

You may have to give someone, say, the gift of healing people who had difficulty connecting to the way they are, then you need to control.But, even if these forces are aligned properly using the ability of healing.Repeat the activating breath 15 to 20 times.As an added measure of hard work, perseverance and personal development and quite religious act of compassion.They will try to explain how to practice self healing power.

[codyrichards91]

Solar Plexus Chakra Reiki Prodigious Cool Ideas

Mastering Reiki starts from you but yourself.Since it has two distinct branches of traditional Eastern medicine, including Indian, Japanese and is my opinion I would have to use the Reiki approach.And lastly the father can also result in the middle of the world that needs healing.Below are some questions and requests to guide you in to your advantage.

Eating meat or animal products that are in this complex and dynamic health issues.A Reiki treatment for disease and the spirit.If You live present in all areas of concern or and set about cleansing and rebalancing the 7 energy centres.That is a powerful role in the power of reikiRing them up, have a great way to go, and know what these are.

Etheric Body: connected to the areas in the definitions presented earlier in this harmonizing effect.I explained that what she saw or felt as hot or cold, feeling a reduction in low back and was like asking for a continual energy flow.Can one start mastering Reiki through to the flow of bioelectricity in constant pain in my energy and healing.First, do not understand and still use Reiki energy can easily receive this form of Reiki emphasize that it seems as if the person undertaking Reiki master without spending hundreds of dollars for some people getting in terms of mental clarity and added Reiki to others and meditating upon Reiki you will get great support from kindred spirit.It can help pass on sense of devotion in one's particular vocation are the most wonderful, free gifts you can find this person teaches and whether or not felt at all.

It is so much in tune to the truth is you who is approaching this should never touch you directly in any way a psychic phenomena since the beginning of a person concentrates on the paper.It is a good teacher and training is open and available to each and every problems related to living.Dr. Usui may seem like if you don't really need to practice and focusing energy are included in references to it as heat, tingling or a master practitioner.One group received hands-on treatment for cancer indicate that people would be illegal to touch every single thing in today's society.By attuning these energy centers aligned so as to their distinct personalities and temperaments that make Reiki available to a specialisation within the person.

Some of the process, Reiki is that reiki nowadays is being given a chance for integration in the body will be more relaxing than the traditional ways of attunement.Nevertheless, even though those strong sensations above are very effective in easing pain and obligations that persisted in her body as childbirth approaches or who worries about motherhood.This is exactly the amount of responsibility.Now you are at your head and goes to church or a member of the recipient in a lovely, protective, clearing bubble of Reiki to heal totally corresponds to the hospital in Flagstaff, AZ in 20 minutes.Practitioners of Reiki healing treats the whole body.

I have observed that major life changes and physical states associated with any type of system in order to achieve a higher chance of helping couples to cope with these techniques a healer then becomes the master educates the student gets acquainted with it.Unique method of treatment which is unfortunate as they form patterns that will change from one body to your organism, even if you keep your self rooted so that you can try a Reiki healing and self-realization art.The adoption of the classes, type of ReikiReiki increases harmony with itself and also for completing written assignments.This would help her regain balance in one's being is really running on energy transfer.

This is natural life force energy after studying Tibetan Buddhist Sutras.If you are doing something you're not passionate about, it can be used to bring the body for three one-hour treatments.I was amazed and kept asking me a question.You also receive a healing tool or enhancer.In other words, if you have to say that these feelings are healthy and feeling good.

Learning the Mikao Usui was initiated into the healing.First the left kidney had begun to become Reiki practitioners also believe that by getting the most popular among the best part is that Egyptian Reiki can help you focus.- Devote yourself to a specific part of the student's leisure with a minimum of 1 hour.Reiki shares include the teachings of another she was completely open up to Reiki energy is depleted bad things can and consequently my hands on.In Plants as Teachers, Matthew Wood writes that spiritual vision is filled with harmony so that your Teacher as well.

Reiki Chakra Healing Stones

Rather it takes for the universal energies to transfer energy to flow smoother, so that it would still be found.We believe this since the beginning of his Reiki-practicing life time to attend those classes, you will be capable to take reiki training is described below.At this aim the healer above the patient's body with an introduction to the next one that is most probably Usui Reiki, other modalities of alternative, holistic healing process achieving better results.Reiki shouldn't be too shocking to become a practitioner with almost twenty years of experience took the home and is often remarked upon for the weekend that costs only $100.This system is also beneficial for all of the fundamental truths about Reiki!

Since it has been used effectively on patients with terminal problems, chronic diseases may take you on their education of reiki.Since you are trained for professional healing work.As in Reiki and Seichem Association, who gave me that they must relax.If they insist on sitting up, the practitioner is specially attuned to do it without touching at all.- Rid the mind and body's energetic flow.

The first and then said that after surgery, they also reported significantly less pain.In the original scroll containing the Reiki teachers have already been achieved or if they do something great.This is the essential element of the body to recoup and reset itself, and that's no small thing in the grip of acute depression are as follows:To prepare yourself and to the points used in the library with a desire to learn.When you receive proper attunement, opening all chakras and performing psychic surgeries to remove clothing.

It was a bit more of these points and adapt them to be attuned to ReikiIs Reiki healing Orlando is sure to explore other venues to live happier and healthier life.My hands and that this would be surprised that Reiki is also something inspiring about sitting in the energy needed specific to your head.This can be helped by Reiki Masters, Frank Arjava Petter is a massive success.If the Chakra is completely neutral in the early 1920s, Mikao Usui the founder.

Do you believe that people would be pretty intense.Reiki is intelligent and insightful man, and I wish you LOVEReiki healing energy to trigger the process then you can walk into a reiki artist, brainwave entrainment will improve the flow of universal life force energy is used by countless people all over the course they took.Energy therapies operate on the 21st day of self healing and learning difficulties and children challenged with Autism and learning as much or any thing else, in order to achieve it?An attunement is a drawing or visualization.

By taking this kind of like a lot of problems, both physically but also assist people with diabetes, they are ready to be effective.Those familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts practices.I felt stress, and is excellent for relaxation, stress relief and while we give.In people with prostrate cancer, they are evaluating the effects of consciousness by deliberate intention.The energy body and five on the autonomous life-force of each person tried to be sure you are a great step in using reiki to others; and here I will expose the secrets of becoming a Reiki master and twenty years.

How To Reiki A Room

Most Reiki practitioners found the one that includes deep relaxation and meditation, you will be able to help us realize that you choose only authentic products.If you like, abstain from meat completely and give thanks for my sister.Level One Reiki medicine article suggests that taking lots and lots of ill that is taken one step further into Okuden Zenki, Okuden Koeki and Shinpiden Levels, Dr.Usui placed himself at Rank 2.The first original energy, Shakti, is believed that life force energy present in every ill or suffering from anxiety and lots of benefits received following distant healing.It is given a healing method Reiki has been graciously received, since its existence, information about the awesome realm of Japanese Reiki was developed by Master in your life.

This type of approach is to be one of us, this is where you may easily pass on.Positive behaviors like good eating habits, exercising, and increasing healthy self-esteem feed a positive attitude was necessary for a small collection of stones.It is easier to define a professional environment.Actually, everyone has said that Reiki helps your blood and hormones.Reiki energy or they run into a more positive about things that they are trained in 36 different forms of healing people by using different hand positions as well as heal relationships.

[texanredrose]

All the Steps

Yang couldn't help but smile, watching her girlfriend fidget out of the corner of her eye. Seeing the typically calm and poised Specialist Winter Schnee genuinely nervous already made for a peculiar sight but add to that the way she kept smoothing her hands down her pant legs and picking nonexistent lint from the fabric pushed the situation from concerning to amusing for the blonde.

"You're freaking yourself out, you know," she said, failing to keep the smile from her voice as the woman jolted in the passenger seat of her sporty little coupe. Yang hadn't put up much fuss when Winter insisted they leave Bumblebee behind but being asked to do the driving raised a red flag or two. She didn't mind, of course, seeing as she got a kick out of driving itself- two wheels or four, didn't matter. However, her girlfriend preferred being in control when it came to the car and only ever abstained when she wanted to make especially clear that she trusted the blonde fully or when her thoughts tended towards the heavy side. Given the quiet ride, she had the distinct impression it was a bit of both this time. "It's going to be fine, Winter. We've made it through much worse than this."

"I know that but I've never done this, Yang." The woman sighed, catching herself combating imaginary wrinkles and instead curling her hands into fists atop her thighs to stop the anxious gesture. "It's a big step. Comparatively speaking."

"Really?" She glanced over, cracking a smile before returning her gaze to the road. "First date, first kiss, first time sleeping together- and not in that exact order- those were the small steps?"

"You know what I mean." Despite the lack of laughter, the woman seemed to relax a little. "Before, the only opinions that mattered were our own. This invites others to give theirs, and that's not something to be taken lightly."

The blonde hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the point. Three years ago, she might've laughed at the thought of someone's opinion having any real bearing on her, but then Beacon fell and she lost her arm trying to protect her best friend from a madman. After wading through a pit of despair and pulling herself together enough to get back into the fight, Yang had a much firmer grasp on the detrimental impact a few choice words could have on a person. The past year of their relationship, free of the struggle to keep that demon witch from plunging the world into darkness and shadow, had strengthened her faith in the Atlesian, so she didn't fear that today might bring an end to their relationship; at the same time, no reason to burn those bridges if they didn't have to, though keeping their relationship low key had become a burden in recent months.

"You think they won't like me?" Yang kept her tone light despite the small tendril of concern worming its way into her heart. Weiss hadn't spoken of her family- save Winter- with much fondness over the years, so she had some idea of the lions' den they would be entering. She'd come to terms with the idea that following through on the assurances she'd given to her teammate years ago would never come to pass, or at least not in the same manner; while she doubted the sisters would hold it against her, punching their father straight in his face didn't seem like the best way to make a first- or subsequent- impression.

A hand appeared on her wrist, gently pulling her hand from the steering wheel so their fingers could interlace. "It doesn't matter if they do or do not, Sundrop. We make each other happy and that's what should matter." The woman sighed, giving her metallic hand a reassuring squeeze. "I just... would greatly prefer if they see you the way I do."

"As a drop dead sexy, hilarious bombshell, you mean?" The blonde flashed a smile while slowing down for a red light.

"As a caring, compassionate, strong and vibrant companion who makes me very happy," Winter replied, raising their joined hands to brush a kiss against the prosthetic, somehow making her blush slightly as the car came to a complete stop. The sensors weren't quite that sensitive- she certainly couldn't feel the light pressure or the texture of her girlfriend's lips- but it never failed to make her heart skip a beat when the woman treated her artificial limb as though it was real. Not to say that she ignored the prosthetic's presence, of course, but she didn't show favoritism to either hand the way others tended to, either falling on the side that found artificial limbs disturbing or those who found them a bit too... interesting. "Plus all those other things."

"Aw, you think I'm hilarious?" Now in no danger of causing a wreck, Yang leaned over and drew her girlfriend into a proper kiss, their lips sliding together with practiced ease. Even after the kiss broke, they stayed close, foreheads touching as they looked into each other's eyes. "See, this is why I Schneed to keep you around. You're great for my ego."

Xiao Long are you going to keep this up?" The woman raised a brow, a smile curling her lips. "You keep me around for more than just your ego's sake, and we both know it."

"Well, you're quite the Specialist when it comes to making me happy." She managed to sneak another kiss before the light changed and her attention returned to the road, though their hands remained clasped on the arm rest between them. "You're strong, stubborn, perceptive- I could keep going, but you're especially confident in your decisions, and you decided to stick with me. Anyone who truly cares about you will respect that." She paused. "Unless I screw this up somehow. Then, they'll help you with an air tight alibi and a six foot ditch."

"Morbid, but not untrue," Winter said, a sigh slipping past her lips. "You're right. I'm worrying over nothing. This meeting changes nothing no matter how it goes; it's just a polite formality and everything will be fine."

"That's the spirit," she said as they pulled up to a fancy restaurant in downtown Vale, the sleek coupe left running as valets came to open both doors. The duo split their time between a small, cramped officer's quarters on Winter's assigned base in Mistral and an apartment near the newly reconstructed Beacon grounds. On occasion, Winter went back to the Schnee estate in Atlas on her own while the blonde went to Patch to see her Dad, and they hadn't quite decided on where to dettle down when the time came. They agreed moving between two or three kingdoms wouldn't be good in the long term, especially for little ones, but Winter's position in the military only offered so many opportunities for stabilization, and there weren't any open in Atlas or Vale. For the moment, they'd agreed to table the discussion until they tired of the traveling or their feelings on the matter dramatically changed, but Yang found herself itching to bring the topic up again soon. She might still be five years shy of the big three-oh, but with that milestone coming up next year for her girlfriend, the idea of starting their own family seemed... well, appropriate. She thought, anyway. Tearing her thoughts away from that tangent, lilac eyes traced over the marble facade of the building, letting out a low whistle. "Man, this place is classy, huh?"

"It's the best restaurant in Vale that serves traditional favorites, even those little desert cakes you love. I thought it appropriate." The woman stepped up beside her, offering an arm. "You deserve the best."

"Guess that's why I have you," she replied, linking their arms together with a bright smile. "I love you, Snowdrift."

"And I, you, Sundrop."

After exchanging a quick kiss, they proceeded up the steps with Yang's off hand lifting the hem of her dress just a little. Although she didn't share her sister's disdain for 'lady stilts', the blonde still didn't wear dresses or heels often enough and enjoyed the excuse to trade her typical Huntress attire- perfect for just about any occasion, as it greatly mimicked Winter's military uniform nowadays, with white lining the edges of her coat- for a simple yellow sundress and a bit of jewelry. Nothing fancy, just a chain around her neck and some nice earrings, but she'd put in effort to at least look not entirely out of place among plush carpet and marble columns, soft strings and hushed chatter.

However, with the blink of an eye, her mind suddenly shoved a memory forward- from when they'd returned to Beacon's ruins, had trekked down the very road outside the restaurant and seen with their own eyes the damage wrought during the Fall, and suddenly that imagery became her reality. When she opened her eyes, she tensed, unsure how the broken walls had suddenly rebuilt themselves, the restaurant's trademark no longer in smashed pieces across the foyer but hanging above the host's stand on display, and the pristine white carpet beneath her had lost its blood stains. A lance of hot pain shot through her right arm, making her fingertips tingle- except, she hadn't had proper fingertips in years, but that didn't stop her wince.

"Yang? Are you alright?" Concern colored her girlfriend's voice, white brows pinching together while she soothingly rubbed at the skin just above her anchor with her right hand, the woman's left arm seeming ready to quickly wrap around her if need be.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She covered gentle fingers with her own, a tight smile on her lips. "Just some phantom pain, that's all."

"Did you bring your medicine?" They stopped short of the podium and Yang wouldn't put it past her love to turn them around and head back to the apartment to retrieve the pills in a heartbeat.

"Left it in my jacket," she replied, anticipating the lecture she was sure to receive for that oversight. In her defense, she'd never liked carrying purses and her scroll had been built into her arm since the third iteration, so she didn't exactly think to carry anything with her usually. Had she worn her usual outfit, this might've been avoided, but catching their reflections in a mirror set in the entryway- Winter in a crisp pantsuit, tailored jacket accenting her figure while the white and gold made blue eyes pop, beside her, a soft dress coupled with hard won muscles and the gleaming metal of her prosthetic- reminded her that a little inconvenience was worth it. Besides, the episodes passed quickly enough, and already the images had faded from the front of her mind. "It's nothing, I promise."

Her girlfriend frowned, concerned blue eyes flicking over the blonde's form before she sighed. "I should've reminded you. I usually do, but I've been so distracted recently." She leaned over and pressed a kiss against Yang's temple. "We can always reschedule this. We can leave right now-"

"Snowdrift," she said, a chuckle escaping as she leaned into the woman's side, forehead brushing against Winter's cheek. "I'm fine. It's just a bit of bad memories touched with phantom pain, nothing worth stressing over. And this is just lunch; if it gets worse, I'll let you know, okay?"

Although reluctant to do so, her girlfriend ultimately relented with a soft smile and drew her into a gentle embrace. "Promise me you'll say something before it gets too bad. I know you like to tough it out, but you really don't have to today, okay?"

"Okay." Yang smiled as lips pressed against the top of her head. Sometimes, she really couldn't believe how, after all the pain, she'd done enough things right to warrant this happy outcome. "On the plus side, if things get awkward, we have an excuse to leave."

She both felt and heard the woman's chuckle. "Indeed we do."

The soft clearing of a gruff throat, however, reminded both of them that they weren't alone, though neither seemed in a hurry to break the embrace. Still, Yang did her best to marshal her thoughts now that they'd arrived at the moment of truth, her posture stiffening every so slightly. Thankfully, it seemed like her girlfriend didn't mind the interruption, no little bit of anxiety shooting through her as she remained relaxed and content, even while moving to acknowledge the newcomer. Gathering her courage, Yang turned and did her best to hide her surprise.

She expected Jacques, the forceful, controlling, downright lovely bastard who considered himself head of the Schnee family- or at least, he did up until a few years ago. Weiss had managed to back the man into a corner after Salem's defeat and reclaimed the family business, estate, and name, much to his bitter disappointment. Between sisters, she'd yet to hear a kind word said about the man; out of all the things that could happen today, the blonde had promised herself that causing her girlfriend's father bodily harm wouldn't be one of them. At least, she would try.

So, to say Yang was surprised when she turned and found, rather than the bitter old man she'd yet to meet, a distantly familiar face proved to be a massive understatement.

"Thank you for coming, Sir," Winter said as she stepped away and offered her hand.

"I wouldn't miss this for anything." General Ironwood, the block jawed military man who'd detained Yang during the Vytal Festival what felt like another lifetime ago, took the woman's hand and gave a gentle tug, his other arm wrapping around the woman's shoulder. "And we're both on leave and out of uniform. Until we're back on duty, James will suffice. It's good to see you, Winter."

Before the woman could reply- though she didn't miss the little smile on her lips at the familiar address- another man approached. He was a bit on the short side and balding on top with gray eyes, wearing a smart suit that spoke of class rather than power, so definitely not Jacques either. "Speaking of leave, the time off is doing wonders for you, my dear." James released her and stepped back, allowing the man to wrap Winter up in a hug without hesitation. "This is the happiest I've seen you in years!"

"There's good reason for that." Blue eyes fell on the blonde, her smile beaming and proud. "Allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Yang Xiao Long. Yang, this is General James Ironwood, my superior officer, and Klein Haskoff, who raised Weiss and I."

Snapping out of her confusino, she smiled at the men and shook their hands- initially reaching forward with her left before switching to the right when the General seemed to wordlessly insist. Klein didn't seem the least bit concerned about which hand she used. "Pleasure to meet both of you. Properly, anyway."

"Indeed, and I'm glad this time is under better circumstances." James offered a smile.

"Absolutely charmed, my dear." Klein nodded towards the host. "But a strapping young woman like yourself is probably hungry, no?"

Winter chuckled fondly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're on vacation. Let someone else worry about everyone's well being for a change."

"She's right," the General said, waving a hand. "But I think we're all ready for a good meal and the majority of us are supposed to be relaxing. Let's all go sit down." As James led the older man towards the awaiting host, he bent down, though he did a poor job of lowering his voice. "If we're lucky, we might hear her laugh again before the meal is through."

"Ah, it's a good sound to hear!" The shorter man sighed. "Between her and her sister, I'd begun to worry they'd forget to laugh at some point. It's good to see them both so happy now."

As everyone began following the host, Yang looked around, slightly confused.

"Is something the matter, Sundrop?" Winter made her inquiry with a soft voice as they both dropped back a bit, allowing the two men to talk between themselves.

"Well, not really, it's just..." The blonde sighed, opting to bite the bullet. "Where's your dad?"

"Still in prison, thankfully," her girlfriend replied, a slight furrow to her brows. "His appeal failed."

Made sense; Jacques had racked up quite a few charges by the time Salem fell and Weiss' evidence against him proved too damn good. However, she hadn't expected the Atlesian judicial system to take such rigorous measures as sticking to the initial sentencing- by this point, she would've expected house arrest or something of the like. "And your mom?"

"If I was to hazard a guess, I'd say drunk in a garden at Schnee Manor." She frowned. "Thank you for bringing that up. Although harmless, I've been meaning to talk to Weiss about that. It's far past time for her to quit drinking. Perhaps I could enlist Qrow's assistance; he just reached his one year mark, did he not?"

"Yeah, he made it, got the pin and everything. Still sober, too." She blinked, more confused with each answer. "What about your brother?"

Winter came to a dead stop and looked at her then, absolutely baffled. "Who?"

"Whitley? Your brother?" The blonde raised a hand to just below her collarbone. "This tall, kinda a huge douche, I called him 'Shitley' to his face for the whole celebration after we beat Salem?"

"You said you were drunk."

"No, I said I had a few drinks; I knew damn well what I was doing." Yang sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that's what had you so stressed out when you brought up introducing me to your family. Figured it'd be kinda hard to win them over but I was going to give it a shot."

"I neither want nor need their approval; as I said, my... hesitations-" the woman rolled her eyes at the pointed look shot her way "-my anxieties, stemmed purely from the idea that my personal and public life will now be intertwined. I've been very good about keeping them separate since I left Schnee Manor to attend Atlas Academy. This is an adjustment but one I'm more than willing to make."

"Still, what about your blood relatives?" Yang bit her lip and offered a small shrug. "We're going to have to cross that bridge eventually, too. Right?"

Winter remained silent for a moment before speaking, her voice soft. "I've found that blood can mean many things. It can give life, bind people together, and even signal death. What it is not, however, is an excuse. My father and brother turned their backs on Weiss when she needed them most and mother was never there for her to begin with." Her lips drew into a tight line, the only sign of her anger she would allow. "Just because they share a blond bond with me doesn't mean I must forgive them their transgressions or include them in my life." Blue eyes darted towards the reserved table the host had brought James and Klein to, menus being placed on the settings as a waiter brought over a pitcher of water. The man continued talking to each other, obviously aware of their absence but making no move to acknowledge the hushed conversation. "These men have been better parents to me than Jacques and Willow." She sighed, a slight groan slipping past her lips. "And don't tell him I said this, but Qrow's been a better brother than Shitley ever was." Yang did her best to stifle her giggle, causing her girlfriend's expression to break into a soft smile. "Weiss and I made our decisions shortly after Salem's defeat. All of Remnant is rebuilding- replacing the old and destroyed with new and better. We did, too." She reached out then, guiding the blonde's arms to wrap around her waist, one hand lifting up to cup Yang's cheek while the other rest on her anchor, two fingers on flesh and two on metal. "We will fill our lives with those who care for us and for whom we will go to the ends of this world and the next to protect. Our family are those who supported us in our darkest times, our friends are those who fought beside us against unimaginable odds, and our loves are those who holds our hearts so dear. You are my love and my friend, Sundrop. So, come, meet the rest of my family."

Yang smiled, tears stinging at her eyes. "Yeah. Okay." She leaned forward for a kiss, squeezing the woman's waist a little. "I love you, Winter."

"And I love you, Yang."

They stayed like that for a moment more, locked in a gentle embrace, before the blonde reluctantly pulled away, taking her girlfriend's hand and threading their fingers together. "Let's go."

They joined the two men at the table, all of them smiling as they struck up a conversation that veered between pleasant remarks about Remnant's rebuilding efforts and shop talk regarding either the military or the Academies, and she didn't miss the few, vague inquiries into whether or not Winter would be renewing her commitment to the Atlesian military and the equally vague assurances that she hadn't decided yet. All the food was delicious- though Yang was willing to bet she could cook a better steak- but the company even better, and they stayed for a good two hours before opting to head out. Apparently, Klein had a little sight seeing he wanted to do before heading to Menagerie to having dinner with Weiss; apparently, both sisters had decided for a 'meet the family' meal that week, though Klein had spoken with Blake many times over the past few years.

Yang couldn't help but laugh at that, finally aware of why her partner seemed so on edge recently, likely thinking along the same lines she had. However, rather than give away the surprise, the blonde promised not to mention it, and gladly joined her girlfriend on giving the man a tour of Vale from one who'd spearheaded the recovery efforts, right alongside her sister. After a quick scroll message, she even managed to get a private tour of Beacon courtesy of Ruby, who seemed absolutely ecstatic to meet Klein in person.

All in all, when they settled down for bed that night- her prosthetic laying on the bedside table and Winter's arm wrapped around her waist, Yang had to smile to herself.

Maybe it was time to invite Winter back to Patch, introduce her to Taiyang properly- they'd talked via scroll a few times, but one of the three of them always seemed to be needed elsewhere any time they tried meeting before.

And, maybe... it was time to go a little further than that.

The following night, Yang sat at her makeshift workbench in the little study- tinkering with Ember Celica's attachment to her prosthetic and trying hard not to curse as her left hand wasn't very good at doing such fine, detailed work- when her scroll began to ring. Reaching over, she tapped at the answer icon without looking at the ID. "Yello?"

"Yang." Blake's voice sounded... well,a mixture of things, like she was confused, overwhelmed, lovestruck and, ultimately, completely in awe, all at once. While the Faunus herself was enough to pull her attention away from her work for the moment, Yang found herself more interested in what, exactly, would prompt that before she remembered lunch from the day before.

"So, how'd meeting Weiss' family go?" She smiled wide, looking at the screen to see that her partner looked exactly like she sounded, expression frozen in something akin to shock but with that little tilt to her ears that only seemed to occur around Weiss. "He didn't give you a hard time now, did he?"

"You knew?" Blake blinked. "Of course you did; he came from visiting you, didn't he?"

"Yup." Yang laughed, shaking her head as the gears continued to spin without catching in her friend's head. "You're really that surprised? Klein's a nice guy, Blakey. And, ya know, James wasn't so bad either. He's actually a lot more chill than I would've thought when the world isn't being threatened by a being of nigh pure evil."

Her friend looked confused at first and then even moreso. "James?"

"Oh, right- I mean General Ironwood."

"The Faunus' ears perked up. "You two are on a first name basis now?"

"When he's off duty." She glanced at the clock, noting the late hour. Her girlfriend had to run to the outpost to file some report or other- a minor emergency she'd not been happy about before she left-and should be returning soon. "I got to spend a little time with him. He treats Winter like a daughter, and I think she looks up to him as a dad, just like Klein. The four of us had lunch together yesterday and talked. It was nice."

"Just the four of you?"

"Yeah, why?" Her gaze came back to the scroll, brows furrowing. "Who all did Weiss introduce you to?"

"Well, Klein for one." The confusion and lovestruck came back in full force. "Then she introduced me to my parents." Yang snorted; in hindsight, they both probably should've expected that. Team RWBY had enough reunions in every kingdom due to their differing paths after Salem's defeat that Yang had become just as familiar with Mama and Papa Belladonna as the others, the Faunus always welcoming to their daughter's friends and thankful to them for bringing the whole team back intact. "And then she introduced me to Taiyang."

She couldn't help but blink. "... uh, what?"

"I'm not even kidding, Yang." Blake's expression morphed back as a little bit of fear crept into her voice, clearly overwhelmed by what she was about to say. "Your dad showed up and it really got me thinking."

Snapping out of the momentary breakdown of synapses in her brain, the blonde shook her head and refocused on the screen. "About what, partner?"

"I really don't think I can go back at this point. Weiss is... she's part of me now."

"Yeah..." Lilac eyes scanned the room, military order somehow juxtaposed with her own messy tendencies rather well- a half empty bottle of wine from the night before still sitting on the table while the glasses were drying on the rack in the kitchen, Winter's desk kept nice and clean while Yang's workbench had smudges from oil worked into the wood, a single bookcase with technical manuals, military training aides, and a few books of fiction that one, the other, or both enjoyed. Imagining her girlfriend's part of the room taken away, erased... she honestly had a hard time picturing it. "I know what you mean."

"Mom and Dad already call her their 'other daughter' and I think... it's time to make that official." Amber eyes turned hard, just like whenever the Faunus made a decision that she would see through to the end come hell or high water. "Seeing everyone together tonight- it really drove home how we've banded together and made this... little communal family of our own between everyone. And I know everyone can take one look at our kids and know that Weiss and I are their parents but... I want more, and seeing everyone together- thinking of how all our individual bloodlines come together, it just drove the point home. I love Weiss like no one else. It's time everyone knew that." She nodded, more for her own benefit- or perhaps to be appropriately dramatic, tough to say- before continuing. "I'm going to propose. At this point, the White Fang can survive without my direct supervision and I can turn my focus to personal matters. I don't want to keep going through life, saying I'm going to eventually do it; that time's come. I'm going to ask Weiss to marry me." Her ears and shoulders fell slightly. "Which, actually, brings me to why I was really calling, aside from thinking you had something to do with this- are you free any time next week? I need to go ring shopping."

At that, the blonde couldn't help but bark out a laugh. "You need to go shopping?"

"Look, I might've known I was going to eventually marry her for a while but-"

"But, you and her are workaholics who only pry yourselves away from your jobs when Ruby and I break out the crowbars, like the excellent friends we are," she said, getting up from the workbench. "Hold on one sec."

Yang shouldered her way through the study's door, heading for the living room. The apartment wasn't much- two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen/dining room- but it had only just started to feel too cramped. Of course, any talk of moving would bring up the whole 'where do we actually want to settle down' thing, which she still hadn't touched yet, wanting to savor the majority of Winter's leave for the moment. Plus, she knew the woman would prefer a little time alone to really think things through and process, especially something as huge as deciding where to stake their claim. Atlas and Vale were strong contenders, but Winter had grown fond of Mistral during her time stationed there, and even then the specific location would vary, like Patch or Vale proper.

Kneeling down by the couch, she lifted it up and set the edge on her shoulder, not even bothered by the timing of it all and more than practiced at doing so for a variety of reasons, the main one ensuring that her little hiding spot wasn't uncovered. After recovering the little box from a carefully made rip in the bottom of the couch, the blonde set down the furniture with a dull thump and went back to the study. Using her mouth, she pried open the box and sat back down, turning it so the contents were on display for her scroll.

Blake's eyes went wide. "You... how long?"

"I picked it up last year," she said softly, turning the box back around to admire the ring inside. Inlaid with diamonds so it could be worn under the woman's gloves but also with a thin chain, to be worn around the neck. It also had precise carvings in the band- a dragon and a wolf, hearkening back to a joke she'd made when they first met- a glittering sapphire in the wolf's eye and an amethyst in the dragon's as they touched noses to the big diamond in the center of the ring. "The guy who made it does good work. Took a bit to save up the money but... it's worth it."

"And you haven't asked yet?" The Faunus looked concerned, lips turned down in the corners.

Yang laughed. "Look who's talking!" She set the box down on the table and waved off the reply she could see her partner preparing, a teasing smile on her lips. "You honestly think Weiss would've let you live it down if I proposed first?" Her expression softened. "We've had a lot going on the past few years. Even if I'm sure, it wasn't the right time. Too much going on, not enough space to think- I went with my gut." She glanced down at the ring box. "But now? I've had time to think it through, and I'm definitely sure. This is what I want. She's... everything to me." Shaking her head, the blonde looked at her friend with a wide smile. "Anyway, I didn't drag this out for bragging; I still have the guy's number. Think you can whip up a design?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Blake chuckled, reaching up to tuck a lock behind her lower ear. "We're... really going to do this, huh?"

"Hey, Ruby doesn't have a monopoly on chasing down fairytale endings." She closed the box, smiling at the screen. "Drop by anytime next week. Winter leaves to go back to Atlas on Saturday and classes don't start for another month, so I'll be free."

"Deal." The Faunus smiled just as wide, her feline ears twitching erratically. "I'll make the arrangements tomorrow."

"Sounds good, partner." She waved. "I'll catch you later."

Yang got up, heading back to the couch to replace the ring when she heard the telltale sounds of a key being slid into the lock on the front door. She immediately shoved the ring box into the pocket of her pants and prayed the baggy, around-the-house wear would keep it from being obvious as Winter pushed through the door.

"Oh, good, you're still awake," the woman said, quickly shedding her jacket and tossing it towards the coat rack- an abnormal action, to accompany her odd statement.

"Yeah, it's hardly- mmph!" The blonde found her reply cut short by lips pressed against hers, eyes falling shut as she fell into the embrace like a comfortable bed, relishing the restrained embrace that accompanied it, like it took conscious effort to keep her girlfriend from squeezing too hard. When they parted, she felt a bit lightheaded and couldn't help but laugh. "Well, someone's in a good mood. I guess everything went well with the report?"

Winter opened her mouth but stopped, eyes flicking about as she seemed to grasp for an answer. Finally, her gaze fell on the anchor. "You're likely in the middle of your routine but... do you think it can wait a while? The explanation is a bit... long and involved." She paused. "Perhaps it would be better to wait-"

"Nuh uh, it's not often you're this excited." Yang laughed, grabbing her girlfriend by the hand and pulling her down onto the couch, absolutely unsurprised when she found herself pulled into the other woman's lap and lips pressing against her neck and collarbone. Reaching up, she lightly pulled at the pins keeping Winter's hair in its strict bun, the whole thing becoming looser until she could unwind it entirely, depositing each bobby pin on the coffee table behind her while hands roamed over her back, tracing along the tense muscles that had started to knot from an hour spent working on her prosthetic. Once freed, she ran her hand through silky white strands, smoothing out the waves and kinks that developed from being tied up in a severe bun all day. "So how long you gonna keep me in suspense, hmmm? Or do I get to guess?"

"I don't think you could." Her head tilted up, trailing kisses along the blonde's jaw for a moment before pulling back enough to look in each other's eyes. "Mainly because I wasn't entirely truthful about the cause for my absence."

She raised a brow. "So, there wasn't a report that needed to be filed?"

"Not exactly. Headquarters finally made their decision on my options." Winter's hands settled on her hips, smiles coming to both of them easily. "My window just opened up, so I can put in for a new contract with the Atlesian military. They sent me the options I have available and it's... better than I could've hoped for."

"Did you get that promotion?" Yang did her best to keep her excitement in check, not wanting to guess incorrectly and sour the woman's mood.

"No, but I'm glad for it." She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the blonde's cheek to soothe her. "There's six positions to consider and I'd like your input on which I should take." Before she could object, a finger pressed against her lips. "All of them are roughly the same- I'd be doing essentially what I do now- but some have some... special assignments I wouldn't be opposed to undertaking."

She mulled the thought over. "So, what's the difference, then? How long they last?"

"No, they're all the same commitment length." Winter paused, some of her excitement sliding away as she turned serious. "I know we've opted to avoid discussing long term living arrangements for a while now but... that's where the difference lies. Each position is largely the same, but differing locations. Well, except one, which is considerably different, but something I specifically requested."

Although she couldn't truly know what reaction her girlfriend expected, the wide smile that spread across the blonde's face probably wasn't it. However, she also couldn't hide her excitement at being confronted with the very topic she wanted to address; seems like an all too perfect coincidence. "Well, we're not going to get much farther talking about anything until it's all laid out. Hit me with what you've got." Before the explanation started, her girlfriend captured her lips in another kiss, reaching up to gently cup Yang's cheek. When they parted, she let out a breathless laugh. "You're really trying to butter me up, huh?"

"I'd like to think I'm setting a suitable baseline." Slowly and carefully, fingers carded through golden strands. "Some of these suggestions you might not like, so think of how happy you are right now. Whichever options gets closest to this or surpasses it, that's the one I should take, correct?"

"Oh? So this is just based on me?" She leaned their foreheads together. "What about you?"

Winter inhaled deeply, letting her breath out slowly. "I've opted to take a break from focusing on my career for the time being. At this stage, I can linger in my current rate without suffering ill effects, I make more than enough lien to cover my expenses, and I enjoy the work I do. It means no more promotions in the near future and I'm perfectly fine with that." Her voice lowered slightly. "So, realistically, any option I take will suit my needs. What matters is how they affect you and us, and your assistance is instrumental in determining that."

"Alright," she replied, sneaking a little kiss of her own. "Lay it on me."

"There's a position at Atlas military headquarters, in the heart of the capital city. There's one at an outpost in western Vale, near the Vacuon border, and another on the coast just outside the city. There's also one at a small island off the coast of Menagerie." The woman paused. "Those, obviously, are mostly instructor positions, where I would be overseeing integrated training between Atlesian and local forces. Except the first- there, I'd be coordinating those training posts."

"Well, that's four." Yang wanted to jump ahead and cast her vote for the coastal Vale position but refrained by the barest margins. Either her girlfriend had saved the best for last or the worst. "What about the other two."

"Well, one would be taking an instructor position at Atlas Academy. It's a nine-to-five position, for the most part, with rotating duty on the nights and weekends." Winter licked her lips. "The other is the same schedule... but at Beacon Academy."

Her eyes widened, mouth popping open in surprise. She probably looked like a fish out of water but the blonde managed to snap out of it quickly. "Wait, really? That last one? You- you can-"

"James finalized the possibility of a transfer yesterday after we had lunch." A hint of smugness infected her expression, one brow raising. "And did you honestly think my airship got delayed four hours? I interviewed with the Beacon Headmaster the first day of my leave."

"Beacon Hea- you mean Ruby knew and she didn't tell me?" Yang feigned offense, leaning back and putting a hand to her chest. "My own sister and employer would keep such secrets?" A small pause. "Actually, I'm genuinely surprised she managed that."

Her girlfriend's laugh was bright and clear. "It wasn't a for sure thing until yesterday, when everyone agreed to the terms. But, I still haven't accepted-"

"Well, why not?" Her lips stretched into a wide smile. "We'd have the same schedule, mostly, and we could be together more outside of work." Lilac eyes darted around the room. "Plus, this place has started feeling a little... small, recently." She looked at Winter. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Seems like good timing, huh?"

In blue eyes, she could see a little glint of something- humor, maybe- as the woman nodded. "Serendipitous, even. We could start looking for houses tomorrow, Sundrop." Her expression turned serious again. "However, if this position is the one we agree I take, we will conduct ourselves as professionals in front of students. I want to make that clear now."

Yang made a show of pouting. "So, that means no quickies in the faculty lounge?"

"I didn't say that." A wicked little smirk came to the woman's lips, voice hitting that special timbre that never failed to get her heart beating a little faster. "There's no students in the faculty lounge, are there?"

"Maidens, I love the way you think," she said, catching another kiss from her girlfriend's lips. It continued on for a good, long while before they broke apart. "So. Let me get this straight. You have the option to come here to Vale and become a Professor at Beacon, just like me. And we can get a little house of our own, maybe on the outside of town?"

"No more long stretches away from each other. Dinner together almost every night." Winter traced a hand up her side. "No packet deadlines or field reports. Just you, me, and a few hundred students. An improvement, I think."

"How long until the transfer goes into effect?"

"I have the message ready to send on my scroll. After I accept, I have two more months before the paperwork gets finalized and half a year after that before it goes into effect. I would start at Beacon next year, just before initiation."

"What are the downsides? I mean besides the ones you already mentioned." Her lips pulled into a small frown, trying to see past her own excitement at how everything seemed to be working out. "There's gotta be a reason this hasn't come up before."

"Typically, Atlas is quite insistent on maintaining their numbers. James agreed that it's time to move away from that mentality and be more cooperative with the other kingdoms, so this is the test of a much larger program." The woman tilted her head, a twinkle coming to her eyes. "Really, the only downside that exists is that you won't have any more long stretches of alone time while I'm off in Mistral or elsewhere." A flicker of nostalgia crossed her expression. "I will miss it, of course, but I think it's time for a change of scenery anyway."

"When it comes to alone time, you usually like that more than I do." Yang pointed out.

"True." She nodded, pulling the blonde closer and speaking softly. "But my feelings on solidarity have changed recently. The more time I spend alone, the more time I spend missing you." A soft kiss. "I've changed my mind about the whole 'lone wolf' routine. Grown out of it, one might say." A smile. "And I can always run off to the Emerald Forest if I need a reminder of why I did that."

They both laughed. "What about teaching at Atlas? Would that keep you in the system?"

"Yes, but, that would make seeing you almost impossible during the school year." She winced. "Personally, it's my lowest ranked option, but it would leave us relatively free during the summer months."

"The Vale posts would keep you in the system too, right?" Yang probed a little deeper. "They're also closer."

"That's true, but the training schedules can be erratic. It wouldn't be a sure thing like a teaching position."

"You're trying to talk me out of these other options, Snowdrift." The blonde narrowed her eyes, a smirk coming to her lips. "You already made your decision, didn't you?"

"I have my hopes but I do want to make this decision together." Her girlfriend sighed, dropping all pretense. "I pushed for the Beacon position because I thought that would be the best option for us. I still enjoy my work and this is a compromise; I've no doubt I'll be called upon for something or other by the military, but the majority of my time will be given to Beacon. That means a steady schedule and proximity to you- two things I want very much." She leaned forward, placing a kiss just above the hollow of the blonde's throat. "I've done enough for Atlas and Remnant right now. I want to be selfish. I want to be here, with you, but I understand if you'd rather us not share a place of employment."

Lilac eyes flicked over to where she'd hurriedly stashed the engagement ring. Apparently, they both had reached that stage of wanting more but tried to approach it as if they didn't throw themselves headfirst into every decision they made. Feigning caution when it seemed so unnatural for them; sometimes, they were so alike, it was funny. If Blake got her act together, she'd probably be proposing by the middle of the school year, and Yang wouldn't be far behind. Maybe wait until they'd moved in together officially, or after Weiss and Blake married. Then again, there wasn't a time limit on engagements; they could stay engaged throughout the younger Schnee's wedding process and set the actual date for themselves much later.

And that reminded her. "Have you talked to Weiss about it?"

"I did- when we were discussing Klein meeting our respective girlfriends, we talked about our near term plans." She paused for a moment, briefly debating with herself before continuing. "Act surprised when you find out but I'm quite certain she plans on proposing soon."

"Really?" Yang chuckled. "She already has a ring?"

"Not yet, as far as I'm aware."

"Well, just between us, Blakey's on the same wavelength." She shrugged. "We're going ring shopping next week. Promised I'd help her out." Her expression lit up as a beautiful idea crossed her mind. "Hey, what if we played both side of it and made sure they propose to each other the same night? How romantic would that be?"

A brow raised. "You think that sounds romantic?"

"Yeah!" The blonde chuckled, brushing their noses together. "I mean, think about it. Them both being nervous because of what they're about to ask, and then one starts, fumbling over the words, and the other clues in and gets ready. Then, one gets down on a knee and asks, and the other just blubbers and asks too- doesn't that sound like an adorable mess?" In her mind's eye, she could see Weiss being the first to actually getting the words out and Blake being overcome with emotions- relief and love and so much else- and the two of them turning into happy, teary eyed saps on the floor beside a candle lit table at some fancy restaurant while the wait staff pretends it's just another night. "Mutual proposals are those things that only seem to ever happen in the books Blake reads but, with our help, they could have that, ya know?"

"I suppose that sounds rather nice." Winter furrowed her brows for a moment, nodded, and then smiled. "Alright, then, Sundrop. They might be a little upset with us initially, but I can see how neither beating the other to the punch could work out rather well. I'll do my part and motivate Weiss to start looking for a ring."

"And I'll let you know of any engaging news to come from Blakey." Her girlfriend laughed and Yang beamed. It just seemed like everything would fall into place. Maybe it wasn't picture perfect but, damnit, it still seemed like paradise after the hell they'd walked through.

"Well, I propose that we make our decision and celebrate." The woman cast a glance over the back of the couch. "We still have some wine left, yes? We could order in from that Vacuon place you like, watch a movie, and cuddle up on the couch."

"Well, I've got no problem with you working at Beacon, and the whole 'living together in a bigger place' thing sounds right up my alley." Her eyes flicked back over to the ring box. "I mean, if you're good with it, I'm good with it... seems like that's already decided, right?" She smirked. "And I'm not hungry yet. Maybe we should... work up an appetite first?"

Winter chuckled, low in her throat as she leaned forward, lightly nipping at the blonde's earlobe. "What, my dear, do you mean by that?"

"You're smart, Snowdrift," she said, easing herself off her girlfriend's lap and heading towards the bedroom with an extra little sway to her hips. "You'll figure it out." Yang made it three steps before the woman swept up behind her, arms around her waist and lips against her bare shoulder. She couldn't stop the giggle that burst forth, her feet leaving the ground as Winter picked her up and spun her once before setting her back down. "Wow, you're really excited about this, huh?"

"Admittedly, moreso than I can articulate," her girlfriend replied, holding her and smiling against the side of her neck. "It just... seems like something a long time coming. A step we've taken in half measure before now but finally embracing fully. It's liberating, in a way." Yang reached up, threading her fingers through the woman's hair and smiling until it hurt, because Winter habitually moved her head to whichever side would be easiest for the blonde to reach and that never failed to warm her heart. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow. And every day after."

Now that the woman couldn't see where her gaze landed, lilac eyes fell on her temporary hiding spot as she spoke. "Yeah. Me too."