#to be clear this is not 'don't pit two bad bitches against each other' this is 'one of them understood the assignment and one did not'

[essektheylyss]

just muttering to mutter cuz I find it fun to have meaningless opinions but having watched the trailer for The Fall of the House of Usher, I really just feel like everyone should sit down and read What Moves The Dead by T. Kingfisher instead

[charles-leclerc-official]

https://x.com/_allthatglitz/status/1865767505974960216?t=GBHGlyWtFF0py26ggPf5Cw&s=19

Max fans are so funny, because they keep bringing thr incidents in the race to prove charles gaining positions was just luck as if max didn't got super benefited by the red flag

There were two alpines in the podium, is undeniable that the perfect timing helped the 3 first cars

Now I do think it's hard to compare, at a certain point I have to go "why pit two bad bitches against each other?" and just enjoy both great drives.

HOWEVER

Here's the thing, the safety car timing helped solidify the order, but Max had already overtaken pretty much the entire field before then, and also so had Pierre and Este fought for that spot in qualifying. The alpines being there isn't a insult, for whatever reason the alpine car performed excellently in the rain. I don't care for the idea it was luck etc. Especially because they all chose to stay out and managed their tyres best because they were anticipating a safety car. That was strategy there on top of driving. The three cars that made no errors driving in the rain that race ended up on the podium. I actually don't think the safety car really changed the outcome that much. I suppose and undercut or something would be possible. But the form Max was in and the performance the top 3 cars had (in addition to the fact we saw bigger errors from those behind) I do think Max would have won that race anyway. I think the timing of the safety car is overplayed in how that race panned out. It might have been luckier for the alpines, but again, if you look at the pace and tyre management from those 3 it's pretty clear how this was going to go.

So again, I don't think we need to downplay any of the top 3 drives in Brazil to make the case that Charles' drive in Abu Dhabi was equally or moreso impressive.

I think it is hard to compare, because driving in the rain is harder and requires a different skill etc. I feel like this tweet downplays how hard it was to drive in those conditions in Brazil.

Onto Charles, that drive was near flawless, winning on pure pace and racecraft. That many overtakes at the end of the season when every other car on the field is at their best(in terms of this is the final evo of all the cars etc) and pulling off the recovery drive of the season. Yeah I am going to give it to him, now am I an objective opinion on this? No. But I think the drive speaks for itself. He just did that, no ifs ands or buts about it. Drive of the season from him.

I don't care what anyone else says, I know what I saw, and it was beautiful.

Ultimately I don't think it really matters, this is a matter of opinion and I think both drives are phenomenal for different reasons. I don't care if there was some luck involved, it doesn't erase the skill that clawed it's way up the field in either case.

[abnormalpsychology]

Hear me out. Brad and Janet, and Tom and Shiv— two failmarriages who may have more in common than you’d think:

inversion / parody of gender roles hetero romance

they are trying SOOOOOOO hard to be a normal married couple and it is just Not Working Out

very very hot sex symbol girlboss woman obsessed with another more powerful guy (Logan, Frank) and extremely unreliable but sometimes present sense of self-awareness and craves independence

dorky asshole malewife bottom trying desperately not to be a malewife as hard as he can for the entire media but yet the malewife genes overcome his efforts valiantly again and again and aGAIN

they cheat on each other a bunch of times (but they don't mean it guyssss 😩)

YES. they cheat on each other. BUT it's made known to the audience that they feel really bad abt it Imao

a premature WEIRD proposal done in a close-proximity-to-death situation yet they’re still like “okay 😊!” like would you rather I propose to you in the hospital while your dad is in intensive care from his brain hemorrhage OR in a graveyard after another person’s wedding while a funeral goes on right next to us featuring a suspiciously child-sized casket? romance central am I right

dedicated loving relationship struggling to survive in a crazy environment that is directly corrosive to dedicated loving relationships

horrible communication where the lack of communication in their marriage is kind of essential to the plot in and of itself

a threesome kinda happens in canon (more an orgy. this is abt rhps obviously) vs they almost had a threesome and then didnt... basically a threesome could've fixed all of them

"yes I cheated on you. Yes I still love you and would protect you as best I can in a traumatizing situation where a key extremely complex and kinda shitty person we both kinda love dies in front of us. We exist."

protection motif is a huge thing for both of them and in the end it's pretty clear that delusion is really what's actually been protecting them

most importantly: getting into marriage and being like "wow bitch!!! you are not who I thought you were"

they both end up in this really subjective completely destroyed irrevocably changed and entirely mortifyingly known position in their relationship like "who knows if we even love each other anymore"

"lol we both betrayed the other's trust beyond repair. does the love matter anymore lol Imao"

way too many people rightfully think there's no way to work their issues out but I am so delusional I don't give a shit <3

married couple that gets pitted against each other and have all these reasons to hate each other but you can tell that all of the love can’t be gone and like the evolution somehow emphasizes the love that was there before = PEAK ROMANCE. TO ME

[neuroticbookworm]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke, thanks friend! ^^

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy, my beloved. I've watched very few QLs, and Bad Buddy is the one that I often go back to when I need a pick-me-up. It may not be perfect (Wai, my beloathed) but the show never fails to make me feel deeply whenever I revisit it.

Favorite Pairing: I share @lurkingshan's opinions on branded pairs, so I'm gonna answer with a pair that I think is well-matched in terms of on-screen talent, and therefore, my favorite: FirstKhao. GMMTV took two bad bitches and said "We're gonna pit them against each other and they're gonna love it" and boy, so do we.

Most underrated actor: I saw Sing Harit almost drown Gun Atthaphan in Not Me and I've been in love ever since. I have no reasonable metrics to know if he's actually underrated, other than the fact that he doesn't show up on my dash as much as I would like. I want to see more of him, and I can't wait to get to The Warp Effect, where he wears.. *checks notes* a puppy mask? Ummmmmmmm

Favorite Character: Time to get controversial, baby!

(tagging my ToL gang @waitmyturtles, @lurkingshan, @manogirl. Keep the getaway car running, frens. We might need to make a quick exit)

*clears throat* Khai from Theory of Love.

Wait.

WAIT.

WAIT. HERE ME OUT.

I absolutely love the fact that Khai is so well-written that half the audience can't stand to watch him and the ones who make it through either viciously hate him or absolutely love him. I love that he was unabashedly awful in the first half, and I love that his redemption arc was gradual. Was he still a dipshit in some moments in the second half? Yes. Was it realistic and in-character? Also yes. I love a character who can fully acknowledge his mistakes and wholeheartedly apologize and strive to do better in the future. So, to sum up, *hugs him close to my chest like a stuffie* KHAI, MY UTTERLY BELOVED!

Favorite Side Character: Hoon from I Told Sunset About You. The fact that called Teh a crybaby when he was having a complete breakdown in Hoon's arms cemented his place in my heart.

Favorite scene in a QL: The AlanWen conversation scene at the outdoor diner in Moonlight Chicken, episode 5. Yes, I'm a masochist, thank you for asking. I'm also a staunch Alan apologist, and will defend my poor little meow meow to the ends of the Earth. (ha, me clever)

Favorite line in a QL: "Why is your wall so high?" -- Wen to Uncle Jim, Moonlight Chicken, episode 6.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends -- doy.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: My Sunshine babies, Mork and Tawan from My Ride. They were so good to each other and they got to know each other as friends before moving into a romantic relationship, and the transition felt as natural as possible. The drama was minimal and there were no stupid misunderstandings for the sake of moving the plot along.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: VegasPete in KinnPorsche. I also co-sign @lurkingshan's pick, ToyBoss from My Ride. If anyone messes with my bookshelves the way Toy does at Boss' apartment, they will get thrown off the balcony.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't have one, fam. I'm very new to the QL town and the ones I feel guilty for watching were not pleasurable in any way.

Most underrated series: La Pluie, the love of my life. I've gushed all over my blog about this show, week after week. I don't think I can say anything more that hasn't already been said, so I'm just gonna link the La Pluie meta round up, and invite you to ponder truly how amazing a show must be to inspire these many incredible metas.

I am a full three weeks late to this game, so I'm pretty sure everyone has already done it. So if you made it this far, and still haven't participated, consider yourself tagged, my friend! Toodles!

[wutheringmights]

I finished The Stone Sky by N.K. Jemisin last night, then spent all of today digesting it. I really needed time to figure out how I feel about this book, nonetheless the Broken Earth trilogy.

As a whole, I like this series. My biggest praise will always go to the relationship between Essun and Nassun. That Essun, a woman defined by her motherhood, was a terrible mother to her daughter, and that her daughter in turn found solace in her mother's old abuser, is fascinating. It's insane. I would read a hundred books about them.

But even though the series is about Essun and Nassun, it's so just... not. I've complained before that the intricate world building is as fascinating as it is distracting. The narrative is always scrambling to explain something new, so much so that the characters aren't allowed to interact as much as they should.

I'm not even just talking about Essun and Nassun. Tonkee was wasted. She was first introduced in the very first book, and she was very cool and interesting. I kept waiting for the reason why Tonkee is in this story beyond a few lines of needed exposition. But after the first book, she stops being important.

Outside of characters like Schaffa, Hoa, and Alabaster, I didn't really care or know any of the other characters in the large cast. In theory, I'm supposed to have feelings about Lerna and Ykka, but... no. They served a function. And that's it.

The plot of this series just baffles me. Why did we spend so much time with Castrima? Why did Nassun have to keep finding excuses to not go after Essun? Why was this three books? This could have been duology! If I really wanted to, I could put on a tin foil hat and claim that someone outside Jemisin forced her to turn a two-book plot into a trilogy. I'm just utterly baffled that someone would let this story meander like this.

All my griping aside, I don't hate this series. I like it a lot, but on a intellectual scale.

This book is filled with fascinating observations about our society. I bet someone who knows more about the neo slave narratives of the 20th century would be able to write a killer paper on how this series ruminates on the legacy of authors like Butler and Morrison.

I like all of the complicated characters, how they defy dichotomies like good vs evil. Nassun is one hell of a character. I want to study her. I want more of her.

I don't want to pit two bad bitches against each other, but I can't help but compare this series to R.F. Kuang's The Poppy War trilogy. They have little in common, but they are both dark fantasy series I read this year, so bear with me.

The more distance I put between myself and Kuang, the more I struggle with how simplistic her stories can be at times. She doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation or for the reader to introduce their own feelings to the mix. If you scrape off the overt violence, it surprisingly simple. It's a series that doesn't require a whole lot of input from the reader. But, the plot has fantastic momentum. Each book by itself is a joy to read.

Jemisin embraces uncertainty far more. There are no clear answers. The reader meets these characters and are forced to come to their own conclusions about them. Everything from its world to its themes gets more complex the more thought you put into them. The book demands you think about it. But, each book is kind of a slog. I always had to force myself to pick it up and read the next part. I never regretted doing so, but I also never really fell in love with the series the way I wanted to.

This is a case where I can say that a series is objectively excellent, but not really for me. I'm glad I read them all and I'm going to continue diving deeper into Jemisin's books. But I am so very glad to get the Broken Earth trilogy off my plate.

I also want to talk about the acknowledgements at the end of the book. In it, Jemisin explains that she wrote the trilogy while caring for her sick mother, who died before the last book was finished. I wish I got this context sooner. As Jemisin says, the trilogy is inadvertently an exploration of motherhood and her grappling with her mother's death.

There were a few scenes in this book in particular where I felt her experiences and thoughts echoed my own. I'm not a Hugo Award winning author, but I did notice that after my mother died a few years ago, everything I wrote was about her, even when it wasn't.

"Even that part where--?" Yes, even that. Even now I'm still writing about her and my relationship with her, and in many ways that are and aren't painfully obvious.

It was just an interesting thing to read when her death anniversary just past.

(Do me a favor and don't give me any more condolences. I really don't need them, and I would like to not regret adding that little tidbit about myself to this reflection.)

[goosefeather]

finished riverstar's home which is uhh the first super edition i actually finished since graystripe's vow?? i wanna say??

anway! final review: not enough death!!!

(actual, long review under the cut)

riverstar's home is Good. granted i had no expectations for it and kind of forgot it was a thing until it came out. but for a super edition that most people were like "huh? riverstar? really?" it really knocked it out of the park

and i just really think that the erins had a theme in mind (finding home and what that means to our guy riverstar) and the text actually supports that. and i know, most books do this and it is something we all had to learn in high school english. however, warriors has a thing where the messaging is telling us one thing but the actual text is saying something completely different (think of like... everything to do with bramblestar)

that being said, i liked reading about a young riverstar (yes, my character tag for him is river ripple and i prefer that but y'know riverstar is shorter) and his struggle to find a place in the forest territory. it's actually a really good coming of age story that really resonates with anyone who has like moved out of their hometown and has felt incredibly isolated because of that (like me!)

also as a dotc Enjoyer i really liked seeing the events from riverstar's perspective. unlike uhh the last two super editions where the new viewpoint didn't add anything (or it retconned something to make it worse!) or added in things that were just kinda... bad (still dont like brushpaw), riverstar was just enough of an enigma that it worked. like from gray wing's pov, riverstar is an Established Cat on the river and he plays it well. but in actuality he's just a lonely guy trying desperately to maintain his friendships while trying to carve out some space for himself. it's interesting and fun and even the one eye and slash bits that i didn't care for in dotc were fun to read about from his pov

unfortunately, this is dotc so the last half Drags. like it makes sense, obviously, after riverstar feels settled into his life and home and new role as leader, someone from his past comes back and makes him question all of it. love it, really. the problem is once they leave and make it a journey! idk what it is but the minute these cats start wandering off territory it turns into a snoozefest. tell me one book where a journey to some place was Fun to Read and you cant say TNP cuz we both know it wasnt

also, im so sorry, i know we love women here and we have to cuz the erins don't but i dont like finch. like the most she shows up to help with fighting slash's rogues and riverstar was like "she was feisty!" or whatever i knew it was So Over. im sick of this thing where they introduce a she-cat just for the purpose of giving our main male lead kits. it was bad with gray wing and slate and it's bad with finch. remember when she almost stayed behind? i was hoping so hard that it would stick

and like compare finch and riverstar to say night and riverstar (im not pitting two bad bitches against each other give me a sec). before riverstar leaves to go back to help the park cats, night is nervous, her and riverstar have been through a lot together and they lean on each other. so she's vulnerable with him and he's like "oh im sorry i dont think of you that way??" and she's like "no!!! you idiot!! as a Friend" and yeah it made sense cuz we've seen them grow together in real time. finch got None of that because she is not meant to be a character and it bugs me

however, clear sky came in to save the day and cause problems on purpose at the end so the book ended on a high note (for me)

and uhh yeah, this is already pretty long and i actually have More Shit to say cuz i genuinely did like this book a lot i just wanted to get my thoughts out while they were still rattling around in my brain

god i didnt even talk about how i wanted more cats to die

[absentlyabbie]

🥔

it's over!! the end!! it's finished!!!

RESULTS: 60% 🥔(🎉) 40% 🍚

concluding observations:

it was honestly downright eerie how consistently parallel the week-long version of this poll tracked with the results of its 24-hours predecessor. rice had a stronger showing this time, breaking 40% multiple times and ending on an even 40% as well. but really, the numbers fluctuated only very slightly throughout the full week's polling, which i did not expect and remain baffled by. i honestly thought there'd be more variance or fluctuation this time, more back and forth.

the 24hr poll ended with a little over 6,000 votes and the weeklong poll ended at just under 35,600, but the results are damn near exactly the same. it's WEIRD. for people who like numbers and shit this would probably be a fascinating little case study.

some of the most common phrases in the tags/comments/replies, with variations: "evil poll", "why pit two bad bitches against each other", "i'm so sorry rice/potato", "x is easier to grow", "y is more nutritious", "potato/rice is more versatile", "[samwise gamgee/gollum quote]", "op how could you do this to me/how dare you make me choose", "you can rice a potato but you can't potato a rice", "no rice no life".

there was great passion and great angst abounding on all sides. some had zero problem making an immediate choice, some agonized for apparently hours, others made a fast choice and instantly regretted and wanted to change their minds. mistakes were made and mourned via misclick.

both options are extremely popular with various people from all cultures and countries, and while culture and heritage continued to be one of the strongest influences on how respondents chose, they were by no means a foolproof predictor.

overall, the greater majority recognized the beauty and versatility of both options, offering respect and understanding to those choosing the alternative or making choices with rue and sadness and apology to the unchosen starch. but there were vocal contingents on both sides who vociferously declared their intent to not only die on their selected hill, but to kill on it.

numerous respondents, when presented with the choice of having to give up either rice or potato for life, vehemently decided they'd rather just not have life. which. extreme, but i get it.

i have been cursed many, many times in the tags, replies, and comments, and am grateful most of you so kindly made it clear your threats were made with affection and exaggerated outrage, and i'm also very glad some of you will never, ever find me in the brickspace.

those of you who just do not like one or the other (or even both) of these options are entirely valid and don't let anyone tell you different. but for those of you who just don't believe one or the other can do many things or that one or the other is bland/tasteless, i'm so sorry you've not experienced the true joys of them both yet but also hope that joy is in your future.

deepest condolences and love to those who could only make one choice (or none) because of texture/sensory or dietary issues or allergies. also, some of y'all seem to just really be Going Through It right now and i offer you this hug: 🫂

but the true winner is ALL of us, because this question is imaginary and no one can take either 🍚 or 🥔 away from us

now if i ever want to start a war on tumblr again and really make people hate me, maybe i'll poll 🍞 bread v 🍝 pasta

taking my life into my hands to resurrect this godawful hellpoll and let it run for a week this time

[nitewrighter]

Cant Miles Morales coexist with Spider Holland, Mun? :0c

I reserve the right to be sick of Tom Holland's pasty little frog-mouthed face and say that everything everyone likes about his Spider-Man is cribbed from Miles Morales. I say again: Tom Holland's Spider-Man whitewashed Miles Morales and gentrified Peter Parker and Disney can pour all the alternate-universe Spider-Man crossovers they want into the MCU, it's not going to undo the fact that I'm completely burnt out on this shit and that they’ve pretty much poisoned dialogue-writing for all of Hollywood.

[highflyerwings]

Gang jae Vs sun ah?

First of all, how dare you pit two bad bitches against each other like that.

Gangjae is one of those classic villains. He's completely unhinged, he goes from cute potential male lead to piece of shit real quick, and that's the best part, he has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. He's not sympathetic, he's not complex, he's just an asshole. And sometimes it's okay to be a villain just because.

Sunah is equally unhinged, but she's got layers. Like I said, villains don't always need a sympathetic backstory (in fact it's rarely necessary that they do), there doesn't need to be any redeeming qualities about them at all, but when done right...that's the good shit. And my personal opinion, Sunah was done fucking right. Some day I'll write an essay about why Sunah is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, but today is not that day.

I could never pick one over the other. How dare you. I love them both.

BUT...maybe that's not what your question was to begin with. Maybe the question is, "Who would win in a fight?"

Who would come out on top?

And the answer to that...is obviously Sunah. Like WOW she would be the clear winner in that instance. Because she's smart, and she's crafty, and if there's one thing she's good at...it's manipulating men. And Gangjae is just a little boy who thinks he's so very smart, and very clever, and all he is is a squirrelly piece of shit who's just trying to live a "cool fucking life." He knows nothing.

Sunah wins.

[bloodletterepicness]

Stormy nights...

Thunder roared overhead loud enough to vibrate to the bone, lightning reached out to all corners blazing in the night sky and the rain felt like jagged rocks pelting against my flesh. I observed it all, taking it in like fuel being added to an already explosive inferno. I fed off every tremble, my black gloved fingers flexed around my blade like a caress. There were two things that I could depend on, my brothers and the steal that I was presently holding.

I wasn’t on patrol but I couldn’t be inside either and yet the idea of being around others, was a hard fucking no. My adrenaline was on hyper drive and every one of my senses were riding high. I had the craving to spill a fuck load of black oily filth and no, I obviously had no fucking intention on taking backup with me. I mean come on, all I was really doing, was taking a night stroll through the city. It’s not my fault if I by chance run into some pale bastards and dispose of them...Hell, I’m just being a good Motherfucking samaritan.

The one thing that I hadn’t planned on, was Mother Nature being a bitch tonight. Before I had Dematted from the Pit, I checked all that standard shit and the night skies were clear. But I wasn’t pissed, my insides felt like a raging storm. Mother Nature and myself were of the same mind this evening.

My shitkickers stalked through the back alleyways. I was staying far away from pesky humans. Those fuckers are quite irritating. The rare times that I went out amongst them, they either wanted to shit themselves or run in stark fear that I might slice and dice them. The latter was always preferable but I refrained.

It was the hairs on the back of my neck that was my first warning then I inhaled and the second one came in sweetly scented. I had to tamp down on the surge that coursed through or else my diamond eyes would be shooting out lasers....Okay so maybe I enjoyed fighting more than the average brother. Don’t fucking judge.

I had a permanent smirk on my face and it was just enough lip action to reveal the lethal fangs that had punched further down.

“Looks like the village idiots are out and about...Yay for me.”

We all had our hobbies, I just got lucky as fuck that mine was beneficial to our people and at that moment, I hit the jackpot. There were three that filled up the opening of the alley, but I could feel so many more on the horizon.

I stopped, letting them come to me. What can I say, I like shit like that. You know, that whole control thing of mine. It was amusing to see the expressions on each of their faces. They were chalk full of confidence and positive this was their night. It pleased me much that I would be the being, to dispel them of all this good fortune.

My head cocked to the side a little, eyeing them as a whole and then it was the one an inch taller, standing center of the other two that spoke first. ‘We were looking for a party. I guess we found it.’ Dumb and dumber chimed in with their own very non fucking genuine puns, laughing and thinking they were the cat that got the canary. There was no amount of control that I had in me that could stop my icy eyes from rolling almost to the back of my skull and coming around again. They took my silence for fear and decided it was a good idea to advance on me all at once. Too bad for them, that everything about their minds were transparent to me and in a mere blink I dematted from their game of ring around the rosey and came to form right behind their spokesman. There was a collective gasp and then my blade slicing directly across his adams apple, added a more enjoyable sound of blood gargled groans and pleas. In that moment I became a top notched dancer and was light as fuck in my shitkickers as I moved in and out between the trio, cutting and stabbing. I took my time, playing with them, taking chunks of flesh or random parts. There was always that euphoria that came when my hand and arm became an extension of my blade, they moved as one, knowing exactly what to do. It felt like it went on for minutes but in actuality it was only seconds that it took for me to take three single jabs and my dagger found its true home, piercing the place where their hearts should have been. I was surrounded in a funnel of dust as each of them vanished in almost unison.

“Never did like the lungs full of lesser junk.”

Coughs out a few heavy breaths.

“Fuck…”

I moved away from the dying particles as I straightened my jacket, holstered my knife and for this next scene I had a desire to hear some beats. They were closing in, that sick scent mingled in my lungs with the vanishing remnants of the previous three. I slid the earbuds in and let the lyrics of ‘Papa Roach, Kick in the teeth’ blare into my ears.

‘We live in a cold dark world with venom in its fangs.

You can spit it in my face but I know I'll be OK, It's on the attack. It's a war, it's a game. A ball and chain chew my arm off to get away. Don't fight, or deny it, invite it 'cause when it feels like a kick in the teeth, I can take it. Throw your stones and you won't see me break it. Say what you want, take your shots.

You’re setting me free with one more kick in the teeth…’

An unnaturally savage grin split my lips as the words soaked into my marrow and when the first two lesser flew at me out of nowhere, I was beyond ready...I craved the attack. I needed the fight. My leather encased hand came up, grabbing one fucker by the back of the head and rammed his skull into the grimy steel dumpster. The second I released him, I went in on the other dumb bastard that thought he had a chance when he advanced on me. I stretched my arm out, and way too easily caught him, closing my fingers around his throat, taking pure fucking pleasure in the few seconds that I allowed myself to watch his eyes widen and start to bulge as I increased pressure . Apparently that was enough time for the other pale fuck to get back on his feet and try for a rear attack. I almost fucking laughed as I heard the rush behind me and I gladly assisted in close lining him and only when he was not so happily lying near to his pale buddy, did I play out the lyrics that were presently screaming in my head ‘What doesn't kill me only,

Will make me stronger in my head. In my head.’ I reared my shitkicker back and let it come forward with all my force, kicking the lesser straight in the teeth until black oily blood splattered across my boot, ground and his face. It was fun to play with the two heads, alternating between them, just ramming my boot into the gaping hole that I was making in each of their faces. Call me a sick fuck, but I got hard as fucking cement as I watched their skulls turn into something unrecognizable and the bodies that were still barly connected to them, twitched and spasmed.

‘Damn, who pissed in your cheerios, Brother?’

My smirk grew by leaps and bounds when I saw Wrath come to form in front of me and I stopped and shrugged.

“You know what happens when I get bored...It’s not my fucking fault.”

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 1/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Welp! I started this back in March. It was supposed to be a oneshot and then I realised it was 200 odd pages. Whoops! Another songfic based on music by Joji. This one is Gimme Love, which some of you would probably know, it was circling TikTok for a while. Anyway, more song fics to come!! I hope y'all enjoy! Stay safe in these crazy times!

TW: Mental health, panic attacks

1993

"OK, so you got your apple juice, your finger sandwiches, and grapes. And most importantly, you got your best outfit on. Ready?"

No. I wasn't ready. They were going to eat me up. I knew just by how the 3 bitches off to the side stared and laughed. One of them was swinging from the bus stop pole. It sounded evil, but I hoped she would have fallen over.

"No." I clung to my Mother.

"Brianna." She uttered. She was tired, already having dealt with this before leaving the house. And it didn't help that Grandpa only laughed instead of helping out.

"No!" I said louder, squeezing my tiny fists into her shoulders.

"Look. Everything will be fine. The day will fly in, trust me. And I'll be right here when you get off the bus later." Mom continued.

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and shook me off.

As she smoothed her skirt down, I stamped my foot in a huff. For me, this was the second most ultimate betrayal that had ever happened to me. My Mom was making me go to school. How dare she.

"I love you, girl. Be good and have a great day." Mom said before walking away. My gaze followed, feeling the faucet in my eyes turn on. I was prone to cry baby behaviour around this age.

Now that my Mom was gone, it was all game for the bitches.

"Awww, the little baby needs her Mommy." One of them cooed in her fake voice. "Didn't you know the pre-school bus picks up two hours later?"

"Yeah!" Another decided to join in, "And I bet that's not even your real Mommy."

"She is too!" I clenched my tiny fists at my side. This was half true. I was an adopted child, but to me, Roberta was the best Mother I could have ever asked for. And no one had the right to question that.

"No, she's not! Your real Mommy didn't want you 'cause you're ugly!"

"Yeah, look at your hair. It looks like a fur ball."

"And your clothes are obviously hand me downs."

I stamped my feet again. "That's it! I'm giving you the finger!" I flipped them off. I picked it up from Mom, from the many time's drivers pissed her off. When she'd warn me never to do that, I knew it had some sort of power to it.

But it did nothing. The girls just laughed even more. I had no defences; therefore, I was left helpless.

The bus pulled up, and I was last to get in. The girls warned almost everybody to watch out for the "girl with the weird hair".

I moved down the middle of the bus, my head moving from side to side, hoping to find a seat.

Everybody with a free seat either put their bags on the chairs or put their feet up. I wanted to snap, demanding that they let me sit. But the fear inside rendered me silent.

I was nearing the back, where the 3 girls sat. They smirked upon seeing my face, relishing in the fact I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted was to turn back, get off the bus and lock myself in my house.

But as if someone above heard my innermost thoughts, that's when I heard it.

"Do you need a seat?"

I looked towards the voice. And I froze. There she was, an absolute angel. She looked like a Disney Princess with her bright blonde hair and blue eyes.

I hesitated for a moment. But the bus began to move. So I sat down next to her.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey." Her eyes were observing me, looking me up and down. And I felt even more stunned. "You have funny hair."

"My Mommy says I have lovely hair," I replied in defence.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just never seen hair like that." The girl replied.

My hair wasn't even bad. I just had a massive head of untamed brown curls. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then again, I had never seen anyone with hair like hers. She looked like she had gone to a salon beforehand. "Your hair looks golden."

"Thank you." She smiled. "I'm Blair. My favourite colour is yellow, and I wanna be a singer when I grow up. How about you?"

"I'm Brianna. My favourite colour is pink. And...I wanna be a politician someday."

"What's a pola...polatichon?" Blair asked.

"A politician." I corrected her. "I don't know what they do. They just shout a lot. And that's what I want to do."

Blair had no idea what I was talking about, but she laughed anyway. And that made my heart skip a beat.

I felt something pelt the back of my head. I grabbed it, looking at the small rolled up bit of my paper in my hand. It was wet. I had just been spitballed for the first time.

Blair looked over her shoulder, and I did the same. It was the three bitches from the bus stop. They weren't even hiding their giggles.

"Not nice." Blair stuck her tongue out at them. Then, turning back around in her seat, she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry about them. I'm your friend, Brianna."

"Really?" My eyes brightened.

"Of course!"

As much as that statement had made my heart soar, how it made me feel like there was nothing to be afraid of…

It was the biggest lie I heard that day.

As soon as I got off the bus at the end of the day, I waved to Blair, unaware that she would be sitting with the 3 bitches the next day.

And then it went on for years, being that ugly girl with weird hair. And it didn't help that I needed glasses later in life.

But I wasn't completely alone. So let me tell you about Jujubee.

2020

"Hey, asshole! I'm pulling in there!"

Jujubee was hanging out the driver side window, flicking the indicator aggressively.

"Juju, can you just...not do that?" I asked, my eyes glued to my phone as I checked how many people had seen my Instagram story. It was a picture of the two of us, showing off our outfits that had been gifted from Alexander McQueen.

"And let that asshole steal my spot? Absolutely not." Jujubee protested. She flipped the guy off, only to receive the same gesture back at her. She wasn't prone to behaving like this. I usually found it absolutely hilarious how loud she could be.

Now, you're probably wondering - two well-dressed ladies in their Alexander McQueen outfits should be seated in the back of a limo, sipping champagne.

I wasn't a fan of limos. They only drew attention.

And with Jujubee hurling dog abuse at the other drivers, I was sure the attention would be on us.

But we made it to the event without any trouble.

Jujubee was hilarious, intentionally and unintentionally. I learned that all the way back on my second day of school. When it was clear to me that I wouldn't be friends with anyone else, I ventured off on my own, exploring the playground and looking for bugs. But, instead, I found her sitting alone in the sandbox.

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to dig to the centre of the Earth." She had said, blowing her shiny black hair out of her face.

I knew she would only reach the bottom of the pit, so I laughed, and I helped her dig. We had been inseparable since.

We grew up together, all the way through elementary, high school and college. And through those years, we had one thing in common - we were the weird ones. The kids who everyone bullied.

Ugh, I hated that word; bullied. It made me feel pathetic and helpless. Jujubee and I, however? We were far from pathetic and helpless. After all, how would we even be where we were if that was the case?

OK, maybe I was pathetic and helpless growing up. No, I was. I had just accepted all the name-calling, the shoving, the damage. Jujubee, on the other hand, would fight against it all.

But back to the current situation. We were now sitting at a table with the other project workers. Everyone was having a great time, and the event hadn't even really begun yet. They passed jokes around, talked about trials and tribulations, and I laughed along.

But I may as well have been alone as I was stuck in my own thoughts. How it was even possible, we were all gathered here for this moment.

I looked at Jujubee, sitting next to me, and felt an overwhelming need to hug the shit out of her. If it weren't for her being so encouraging, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"What's up?" She caught me staring.

I lowered my head for a moment, breathing a laugh out through my nostrils. I didn't want to get sappy with her, even though she deserved my gratitude. My best friend, my ride-or-die bitch. Lifting my head again, I smirked. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on this team." I raised my glass to her before sipping the bubbling champagne.

"Proud of you bitch." Jujubee reaching over and squeezed my free hand.

I was proud of me too. Because, despite all of the shit I dealt with in school, here I was, the manager and director of this whole operation.

All of the hard work paid off - years of trials and tribulations, so many arguments and disagreements. We finally did it. We found a gateway to another world, a parallel universe, a portal in the middle of the space just waiting to be explored.

Of course, people doubted me. They said things like, "Well, it is a dream, all right." How could anyone blame them?

But here we were.

The speaker, Michelle, called me up onto the stage to receive a certificate, all encased in a glass frame. I exchanged air kisses with her and graciously took the award. Jujubee cheered me on as I stood up there, letting people take pictures.

And then came the obligatory speech.

I couldn't lie; I hated public speaking. It was always something I struggled with. But, I never backed down from one. I just liked to keep them short and sweet.

"Long story short, I had dreams, and I worked towards them. So, here I am, an example of the walking embodiment of success. And I thank each and every one of you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great night."

Short and sweet. The crowd applauded.

Yes, I was told in the past that I'm arrogant, but I disagreed. I'd say confident. And there was nothing wrong with confidence. After all, there has been a stigma around that word. Doesn't it come from a sense of insecurity, the need to tear successful people down because you're afraid to strive towards your goals?

I deserved to feel this successful, for all those times I was laughed at and ridiculed. I look down on all those assholes and let them know that I made it.

I posed for pictures as I held my award, knowing they would be everywhere the next day; in the papers, magazines, the Internet.

This wasn't the first award I had received. I had a shelf full back home, along with all of my past badges. They reminded me that, once upon a time, I was just any other office worker with her yellow badge. And now here I was, the director of the project with my black badge working closely with the government.

I got off the stage and moved back to my chair. Jujubee rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.

"Where's the after-party?" I asked as the audience shifted their attention from me.

Sometimes I never understood how she put up with me. "Don't worry. I got us covered."

She wasn't lying. A few hours later, we were in the apartment of some other rich somebody. Music was bouncing off the walls, the speakers apparently on full blast.

The main lights were out, replaced with multicoloured LEDs dancing around the place. It was as if we were in our own private club.

Jujubee and I were in the crowd dancing, but because I was absolutely wasted, I lost her many times.

No need to panic, however. Jujubee wasn't a drinker. So she'd find me. She always did.

I really did feel sorry that she had to deal with all of my shenanigans.

"Juju, where the fuck are you??" I roared, not that it would do much. Midsummer Madness by 88RISING was blaring now. Starting to stress out now.

I grabbed a champagne flute as a waiter walked by.

"Brianna, I love the dress." A woman leaned over and shouted in my ear. I had met her before at another event, a fashion reporter if I remembered correctly.

"Thanks. It's Versaci."

As I said earlier, it was fucking Alexander McQueen. I was faded.

Somehow I ended up in the bathroom, throwing up all the alcohol I had consumed into the toilet. After I finished, I washed my mouth out, looked at my reflection and said, "Baby, you're a star."

And somehow, I made it back downstairs. I was searching for Jujubee but found someone else instead. And it was fucking Ed Sheeran.

"I love your new song." I lied.

"Which one?"

"The new one." I smiled. "Hey, Ed. You wanna be the first person to go through the portal?" I wrapped an arm around him.

He looked absolutely taken aback. "Of fucking course. My manager will be in touch."

I really hoped he was joking. Why the fuck had I even suggested it?

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jujubee. My nerves settled, and I leaned closer to her. "Let's go outside."

I had no recollection of making it out to the balcony. The only thing I remembered happening before then was rambling to many strangers about how much I adored Jujubee.

A few other party attendees were outside too. I wanted to tell them how I didn't deserve Jujubee and that she was an angel. But she quickly steered me away.

I looked out over the city, a happy smile on my face.

"Are you having fun, baby girl?" Jujubee asked, using her favourite pet name for me. She sparked up a cigarette. I wanted to ask her for one, having gone from chain smoker to social smoker in recent years. But I was too distracted by the view.

"Yeah. I can feel it, Juju." I replied, looking at my hands. It was almost like I could actually feel it. The euphoric feeling of success running in my veins. "Good things are coming."

"Oh, I feel it too." Jujubee blew out the smoke and followed my gaze. "You know what? Your Grandpa was a great guy. And I know that he's proud of you."

My smile dropped. And I was silent.

I preferred to avoid speaking about things like this. Emotions weren't something I liked to deal with - another difference between Jujubee and me.

Just the year prior, we both went to see Midsommar. During the scene where the main character is having a breakdown on the ground surrounded by the Hargan woman screaming along with her, Jujubee was captivated. She looked almost like she wanted to scream along with them. And as she squeezed my hand and leaned over to me, she said, "I need someone to do that with me." I replied with a quiet, "Can't relate."

I'm not insensitive. I just feared emotions for two reasons.

1. They could be weaponised against me. And as much as I tried not to let the online hate get to me, I knew that if it ever became personal, then it would hit difficult.

2. The most important reason of all; a childhood full of breakdowns and too many emotions.

Jujubee nudged me. "You wanna go?"

I didn't want to. But I said, "Yeah. I'm...so drunk right now," and turned away from the city view.

"Can I be that annoying whore and ask if I can stay at your place?" Jujubee asked, taking my hand.

She didn't even need a reason. "Yes, you can."

We waded our way through the crowd, made for the door and left. And before I knew it, we were back at my place, lying in my bed. I loaned her a t-shirt to sleep in. I wanted to sleep in my Alexander McQueen. But Jujubee wouldn't let me.

We both lay there, facing the ceiling. I could already feel the oncoming suffering. Usually, I loved moments like these, when time became fluid, when I didn't have to worry about how I had even gotten home.

But my head was pounding, and the loud ringing in my ears was the cause. If I was bad now, I'd be dead by morning.

I could feel Jujubee's eyes on me, and I looked back at her. She was smiling, her brown eyes glimmering. "Almost there, girl."

Despite the pain I was in, I smiled back. I knew this whole thing, the thingy, the portal; it wasn't just my dream. It was hers too.

Fuck, I was hammered.

"Almost there," was all I could manage to say.

Jujubee turned on her side and treated me to some cuddly spooning. "OK, go to sleep, loser."

It was straining on my neck, but I kept my head turned, letting my eyes linger for a moment longer. God, I fucking loved that bitch. Nothing was ever going to come between us, and that made me the happiest.

I turned over, my back relaxing against her torso. Then, before giving in to my exhaustion, I checked my phone. The bright light made me squint at first. And the alcohol in my system didn't help matters.

I checked how many people had seen my story now. The number was blurry. So I aimlessly swiped notifications away.

But I stopped at one message in particular.

Blair: Hey Brianna! Long time no speak. I just wanted to say I saw pictures from your thing tonight. Congrats, girl! Look, I know you're probably super busy, but I'd love to have a catch up with you sometime.

"..." My eyes were wide. Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time.

1995

"Do you see Cassiopeia yet?" Juju whined.

I was trying my hardest to find it in the telescope. But the stars were all in clutters; there were so many. "No. I think I see the big dipper, though."

"Really? Let me have a turn!" Juju begged.

I pulled away from the telescope, allowing Juju her turn. Usually, I would have refused, only letting her use the scope after finding what I was looking for.

I really hadn't found the big dipper, but Juju bought it. "Wooooow. That's so cool."

"I know, right?" I smirked.

The backdoor opened, and Grandpa came out in his winter jacket, pj's and his signature slippers. "How many have you girls found now?"

He was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. I cheered excitedly because Grandpa's hot chocolate was the best, and I'd fight anyone who tried to tell me otherwise.

"We found the big dipper. But that's it." Juju replied, sounding very much let down.

"Don't lose hope," Grandpa gave us our hot chocolate, "some are harder to find than others. I bet there are a lot more constellations out there that haven't even been discovered yet."

I sipped the hot drink, and I could feel it already warming me up. I was so tempted to take my gloves off and let the mug warm them up. But we promised my Mom we would stay wrapped up. "Do you think we could discover one?"

Grandpa took a seat on one of the old deck chairs. "Brianna, you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible."

"One day, I wanna get into a rocket ship and fly away," I said, looking up at the night sky, imagining the scene in my head.

"Hey, Mr Caldwell, are there other people like us? Just looking up at the sky?" Juju asked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"That's an interesting question. I'd say yes, what with how nice the sky is tonight," Grandpa let his gaze trail up, the stars reflecting in his eyes, "But did you know, somewhere far, far away, there are two little girls who are exactly like you. They look the same, they talk the same and even have your names. And they are doing exactly what you're doing right now."

My brows knit in confusion, "what do you mean 'far far away?"

Grandpa looked down again, seeing how intrigued Juju and I was. "Let's just call it the other world. It's basically like our world, but...certain things are different. Like," he paused to think, "maybe cats bark and dogs meow. Or, maybe the sky is pink and not blue. Maybe you girls are actually older, and I'm the young one."

"Do horseys fly in the other world?" Juju asked with much optimism.

"Probably. I don't see why not." Grandpa shrugged.

I glanced up at the sky as if I would somehow just see it. Another world where life was somewhat better.

"Would my Mommy and Daddy have given me up in the other world?" I asked quietly.

Grandpa was silent. His lips were pursed, forming a tight line like there were words on the tip of his tongue that he knew he shouldn't say.

Juju hugged me from the side. I wanted to hug her back but didn't want to cry.

Her hold made me feel safe, so I offered her a half-smile.

Since my first day at school, when those cretins had tried to tell me Roberta wasn't my real Mom, it stuck with me. Yeah, I knew deep down those girls didn't know shit, and Roberta was the best Mother in the world, but I was only human.

As much as I loved my Mom, Grandpa and other family members, I just wanted to feel acceptance from my biological parents.

"Brianna, honey, whoever your family is in the other world, I'm sure they love you from the bottom of their hearts. Just like we do." Grandpa said. He extended his arms out, offering me a hug.

I didn't want it. But I knew I needed it.

That night, we didn't find any constellations. Not that it mattered. After my Grandpa went back inside, Juju and I were set on finding the other world instead.

And this interest went on for nearly a whole year.

It sounded dumb, but we would play games where we were our 'other world selves'. Juju lived in a house full of cats, and they were 'cutest cats in the whole country. So cute they won every pageant!'

And I lived in a huge mansion with my Mom, Grandpa, and my biological parents.

We collectively agreed that our other world selves were the prettiest girls in school, and we had tons of friends. We were so cool, we didn't even have to go to school.

Of course, this started a minor argument between us. Juju would always say, "how can we be the prettiest girls at school if we don't have to go to school??"

"Shut up, Juju! Anything is possible in the other world!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't make sense!"

All of it was so ridiculous. But we loved every minute of it.

I'll never forget the time we built a fort in the woods at the back of my house, and Juju stood under the archway and shouted. "I'm the queen of 'Other World'. Beware ye bastards who enter our domain!"

Then she got upset because she said a bad word and thought she had betrayed her parents.

A few minutes later, I fucked up.

"I, Brianna Caldwell, am the Queen of 'Other World'. I sit on this throne along with my best friend, Blair St Clair!"

Juju was even more upset now.

"Why is she your best friend?? I'm your best friend!" She began to cry.

"Jujubee, it's only pretend." I tried to reason with her.

"No, Brie-Brie. You're always talking about Blair! I know you would rather be best friends with her than me!"

"That's not true!"

"It is!" She wept. "She'll never be your friend, Brie-Brie. She doesn't even like you."

"Take that back!"

"No!"

My anger was bubbling beyond the boiling point. So I shoved her over. "Go away. Now!"

Juju ran off crying.

My teeth were grit, my fists clenched. For about 5 minutes, I stormed around the fort, screaming in anger and kicking the ground.

Mom was freaked out. She knew it was me screaming, so she came running. When she found me, she shouted at me for scaring the absolute fuck out of her.

This only pissed me off more. It took her 5 minutes to get me to chill out.

When I finally explained what happened, she told me it was OK and that we'd be friends again the next day.

It didn't help my mood, so she took me to the mall. It was a rare occasion for us to visit the place. We weren't the richest, what with Mom struggling to keep a job. She wasn't a lousy worker; someone else would just come along who was much more experienced. And without another parental figure to help out, it just meant not much money was being brought into the house.

But Mom decided we'd go to the toy store, and I'd find two dolls, one for me and one for Juju. I made sure they looked exactly like us. Well, considering the nice clothes and great hair, they were our other-selves.

And leaving the building, I was perched on Mom's shoulders, eating the biggest ice cream cone I had ever gotten, when I looked over at the jewellery shop. Two women were leaving the store, holding hands. They leaned in close to each other and kissed.

I just...stared as they smiled at each other, mesmerised by the adoration they so clearly shared.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Brianna, baby?"

"Why are those two ladies kissing?"

Mom cast a quick glance to where I was looking. "Oh. OK, first of all, don't stare. It's rude. But yeah, they're just two ladies in love with each other. That's all."

I looked away, just as she told me to do. "They're in love? I thought only boys and girls could be in love."

"I guess they're still telling you that in school, huh?" Mom quipped. "Well, I'll tell you this, but keep it on the down-low 'cause I don't want no parents coming and knocking on my door saying you're putting ideas into their kids' heads." She laughed. "The truth is; boys can fall in love with boys, and girls can fall in love with girls. You fall in love with whoever your heart tells you to, Brianna."

I nodded. "Uh, huh. OK, I understand." But then, it hit me. "Fuck."

"Brianna." Mom warned. She knew I was prone to sometimes spurting a few cuss words. But she only had herself to blame.

"Sorry, Mommy." And as we left the mall, my brain couldn't stop thinking about what had popped into my head.

Maybe, just maybe, I was in love with Blair.

My mind was taking me back to years prior, still in my first year of elementary school. It was coming up to Valentine's Day, and we all had to make a card for someone in the class. Bit of a weird activity for a bunch of kids who were more concerned if they were getting bikes for Christmas or not.

And I slaved over my card, making it yellow instead of the traditional pink colour, and drawing daisies all over it.

The message read, "You really deserve this. You're welcome." I've always been a poetic genius.

And instead of giving it to any of the boys, I insisted it went to Blair.

I had vague memories of that day. I only remembered her confused face as I handed it over.

I never received a card in return.

Of course, the other kids picked on me for it. But Juju had my back.

"You're all just jealous 'cause Brie-Brie's card is unique!" I remember her shouting.

But of course, they weren't jealous. This concept was foreign to them - a girl gifting another girl with a Valentine's Day gift. But then again, they just didn't know any better.

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

WARNING: Another NSFW chapter, though this one contains more plot.

NOTE: I apologise for taking nearly a month off from posting. Just haven't been in a writing mood. I'll be trying to get back to our regularly scheduled programme soon!

                                                  ~ o ~

The appointed hour had arrived. Rise watched Ai's face carefully as it was screwed up in concentration, trying to ignore the anxious flutter in the pit of her stomach. This situation was life-or-death, because if it went in a direction she didn't like she would probably want to throw herself off the nearest bridge.

"Well…?"

"Hmm… it's like… a shiny flower… butterfly… thing."

"What?!"

Huffing, Ai pushed up on her elbows a little more. "Well, what do you want me to say?! That's what it looks like, spread open like that!"

"Ughh, you don't have to make me feel like my body is weird! I'm doing this for you, remember?"

"Yes, and I appreciate it, of course," she conceded with a roll of her eyes. "But don't act like I don't have a point; that is what it reminds me of. I'm just being honest."

Now all Rise wanted to do was close her legs. But she had to ask one more question. "Does… does that mean you don't like it?"

"What? No way, don't be an idiot!" Crawling forward to look straight into her eyes, she whispered, "You're the hottest chick at Yasogami. Well, besides me." They both smirked. "And every part of you is beautiful, do you hear me?"

"Okay, okay," she muttered glumly, trying not to pout. "Sorry."

"No, no, I get it. Suddenly I'm the bitch whose opinion matters a lot because my body is the only one that gets really close to yours. Like, you're obviously going to be worried that I'm not into your body as much as you're clearly into mine."

"Geez, you don't have to put it like that, Ebi-chan. I'm not a pervert! I just… I really like my girlfriend, it's normal! Well… not that liking girls is."

Ai shrugged as she reached down to pet her fingers up and down over Rise's abdomen. They were on the tatami in the middle of their hotel room, the setting sun barely lighting up the walls, and Ai was still fully dressed whereas her girlfriend had fully disrobed, to give her the chance to examine her body at her leisure. It was a little weird, and she felt like a lab experiment, but she knew Ai had probably felt much the same when she was sniffing around her dick before. Fair was fair.

"I think it's pretty normal," Ai protested as her flawlessly-buffed fingernails teased through Rise's well-trimmed strip of pubic hair. Why was that not just hot, but somehow yet hotter because they were such delicate fingers?

"Mmhhh… well, I… I feel so guilty, still. Like we're sneaking around and doing something naughty."

Her lips quirked into another smirk. "Oh, we're definitely naughty. But sneaking around? It's kind of a social media blitz for you or whatever, so… either we're not doing that at all, or we are amazingly shitty at it."

"Shut up," she snorted, bopping Ai on the ear with her knee. It was the easiest thing to reach. "But um… I guess that's true."

"Everything's completely fine, girl," she told her in that extremely rare tone of gentleness that made Rise's heart pound double-time. "We're golden — it's Golden Week. Loosen up."

Snorting, she shot back, "I could have said that to you this morning." Ai rolled her eyes. "Y'know, when my finger was in y-"

"Yes, I get it, I get it." Her head tilted to one side, honey-hued locks pooling on the floor. "Did you like that?"

"Well… it was weird, and kinda gross at first. But!" she protested when Ai started to grimace. "I'd do it just to make you happy, even if it was horrible. And it wasn't, okay? I even…"

When Rise still hadn't finished that sentence after a few seconds, Ai wound up prompting her, "You even… liked it? Hated it? Give me something to go on here."

"No. It's too weird."

"Come on, it's just us. You gotta get used to trusting me sometime. Or don't, I guess."

"Are you… guilting me?"

"See? You already don't trust me." But when Rise pouted, she snorted and poked her in the tummy. "Just playing with you… but maybe also making a point. I know I'm kind of a bitch, but I'm trying to trust you despite almost outing me to the entire school. Can it start cutting both ways?"

Thoroughly chagrined, she whispered, "Well… that's not exactly what this is. But I get it. I'm just embarrassed and you know that, but I'll try to open up… if you do."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So if I admit I thought it was pretty hot, watching you get all squirmy… will you admit that you liked me slipping a finger up there?"

Stalemate. Both of them were staring into each other's eyes, trying not to give ground. A perfect example that both of them were correct in their estimations of what areas they needed to work on. Eventually Ai took a breath and sighed, "Okay, okay, you're right. I just… it's almost like admitting weakness. Which is so dumb that I care, we should both be getting more comfortable with each other."

"Okay. Just this time, even though you didn't say it, I'll accept that as you admitting you liked it," Rise said in a slight sing-song. When her girlfriend pouted, she went on, "And I thought it was hot. Like, not the butt part exactly? But fingering you…" She could feel her cheeks heating up from having to put it into words.

"Yeah. I mean, I get that. Just because it's… where it is, doesn't mean you didn't fuck me right."

"EBI-CHAN!" she hissed in a scandalised tone.

"What? You did. I mean, now that we're being honest…" Ai still had to clear her throat, even if she was doing a better job of keeping an even tone of voice. "Your finger started hitting really deep �� hit my spot, and it was all over. I've never, ever felt like that before. It was like my fingers and toes and nose and tits were all orgasming with me."

Rise had been gaping at her until the very end, when she let out a weak little laugh. "Nose and toes, huh? Wow. But I'm really happy I could help; I just wanted to make you feel good, and find out if that was one way we could do that."

"Definitely. Like, now that I'm past trying to pretend I don't need it." Ai squirmed a little. "Uhh…"

She sat up a little more, petting through her hair. And she leaned into the touch. Had she ever done that before? "Do you want me to do it again? Not right now!" she reassured her, and Ai relaxed a little. "But just, um, just in the future."

"I think so. Is that weird? You're my girlfriend, you shouldn't have to fuck me in the ass like a dude."

"Mm. Well, then I'll fuck you in the ass like a lady."

Ai giggled a little, crawling up to curl around her body. "I don't know exactly what that means, but I'm there. I'll offer you the same anytime you want."

"Oh, I think I'll be okay," she laughed easily. "I've never had any interest in that. Before! Before now. Wait — no, I still don't have any interest in having mine… d-do we really have to keep discussing this?"

"No," Ai told her with a slight smirk as she leaned in to kiss her cheek so tenderly that Rise briefly forgot that she was even nervous about the topic of conversation. "We could go back to talking about that phone call."

A brief pause. "So about my butt…"

"Come on, it can't have been that bad," she challenged her with a little snort. "You're just gonna keep being your fabulous self, and so will I, and Japan will join the fucking twenty-first century."

"Yeah, I just… talking about it… I'd rather focus on you, on us. On Okinawa! This is one of our last little flings — especially for you, senpai."

Clearly, that hint wasn't lost on her. She sighed and cuddled a little closer. "You're right. We should enjoy it while we can."

"Mmm, it feels like somebody already is."

"That's- it's an involuntary reaction! I was literally staring down the barrel of your pussy two seconds ago — anybody with one of these would have theirs sticking straight up, too!"

Voice the tiniest bit haughty, she said, "Well. I'm not going to assume anything, okay? I know you don't want me to… give you a little kiss down there… or caress with my fingers… or-"

"What a goddamn tease," she muttered.

"You love it." When Ai didn't answer, she grinned and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, pulling her in yet closer. They didn't really need any words anymore. As hard as it was to ignore that firm presence, given how unfamiliar Rise was with such things, she just tried to keep her focus on those sweet lips pressing against her own, on the warm back beneath her palms. On the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

That realisation bowled her over. Even though they had been trending in that direction, she had yet to truly think about their future together. Sure, they would have to list Ai as male in order to get a marriage certificate… or would they? Maybe they really shouldn't worry about it. Not being able to enjoy the same status as her straight friends would be frustrating, yes, but it wasn't the end of the world. As long as she could live with her lover and share their lives, that was good enough.

By the time they finally parted, Ai managed to breathe, "I want you so bad…"

Careful to keep her tone neutral, she whispered, "How?"

"Any way I can have you. I… shit, what the hell did you turn me into?"

"Then I'm all yours. You can… have my mouth again, if that's what you like. Or did you wanna go, um… go all the way?"

"I don't know!" she groused as she pulled at her hair. Not that this minor crisis was reducing her arousal any; it was still grinding into Rise's hip and driving her up a wall. "UGH! I want to be as close to you as I can, and that seems like the way, but I also don't want to be the 'boy', you know?"

Drawing her in for another brief kiss, she whispered, "You won't be. Not to me; you'll always just be Ai. My cute little Ebi-chan. I… do you want me to use my finger on you again? I'd love to! I wanna do anything that makes you happy!"

"I… kind of? But no, not right now. I want to make you happy this time."

"Oh." Rise felt another flush of shame, trying not to remember the very obvious fact that she didn't have a stitch of clothing on her person. "Well, um… I want what you want." Did she just give her permission?!

"Good. Then let me try, um… with my mouth. I'll probably suck, but hey, no time like the present to start practicing. Especially if I ever want to be able to do this right."

"Sure! Yeah, that's… that's the same thing I was thinking while doing it for you." With a slight squirm, she then lowered her voice to barely a whisper, "I'm just… I'm sorry if it tastes, or smells… you know…"

Ai lifted a hand to waft away such thoughts. "You'll be fine. It's you. I mean, even if you weren't the sweetest girl in the universe, you're still Risette; that label of yours wouldn't let you have some stanky puss."

Bright red. Like a stoplight. Even though Ai was saying hers wouldn't be so aromatic, the very idea of it meriting a word such as "stanky" made her want to take a bath with a toaster. "U-uhm… thanks?"

"Anytime, girl."

And that seemed to be all the warning she got before Ai was kissing her way down her chest toward a clear goal. This was it; she was finally going to get as good as she gave. Unless she thought of some legitimate reason to ask the teen queen to pull back… but her mind was a blank. All she could think about was those perfect lips dimpling the skin of her abdomen, the lusty gaze being shot up in her direction as she moved lower, and lower…

Lowest. She felt a kiss in her hairs and she couldn't entirely suppress an anxious squeak. Her eyes slid closed as one leg moved up to drape over her girlfriend's back, hoping that would somehow encourage her — prove that she was ready. Even if she wasn't.

"This alright?"

Oh no. Ai was calling her bluff; it was glaringly obvious how high her nerves were running. "Y-yeah… it's just really, um, new?"

"I get that."

Then Ai moved again, and Rise almost curled into a ball. "WOW! That's- you kissed my…"

There was a slight sheen on Ai's smirk when she raised up to look at her properly. "You are soaking fucking wet, Kujikawa. How bad have you been needing it?"

"I haven't been! Honestly, I'm- NNH, how are you doing this?!"

"Pretty easy," she shot back before leaving a long lick along the entirety of her vulnerable flesh. Rise reached down instinctively to grip the hair attached to that head that was giving her so much pleasure it was overloading her system. Did everybody experience this? Was she oversensitive, or was it normal to feel like every inch of her skin was on fire, like she was losing all control?

"God, this is getting me so hard," Ai breathed before diving back in. Which didn't help matters in the slightest; Rise already felt like she was losing her mind, and knowing her girlfriend was nearly as bad off only heightened her pleasure, making her want to roll over and rut on her face. Or…

Or go further. Ai wasn't ready, and she would respect that, but if just her lips and tongue were making her feel this phenomenal, what would it be like for them to really go for it? Uniting their bodies had to be just as good as taking care of each other in turn, if not better.

"NH!" she finally burst out when she felt the pleasure rising. "I'm… I'm about to- it's gonna happen!"

"Yeah?" Ai panted as she used her thumb to caress that tortured flesh, gazing up at her with glazed eyes. "That mean… should I finish you off?"

The volume at which the word "YES!" ripped from her throat left their ears ringing. Rise would feel embarrassed about that — later. When she had time. Right now, she was too busy literally dragging Ai's head back down to devour her anew, moaning as her hips rolled up into their point of union. A little more — and the way her tongue was hitting her clit was spurring her on faster, making it-

Ai brought her to the hardest climax she had ever experienced. Feeling this one made her realise she had been only getting close to a real orgasm all those years since she first began to awaken sexually; a real orgasm blew those pretenders to the throne out of the water so easily. Guess that was what she got for never truly masturbating, or finding anybody who could take care of it for her.

Once the most intense of those sensations began to fade, Rise started coming back to her senses. A few things surprised her: she felt the tatami suddenly pressing into her back, because she had lifted herself upward. Ai's shirt moved when she started pulling her leg back, because her toes had clenched so hard in the fabric. The same was true of her hair — which she let go of first, feeling a few strands come away with her fingers with a little flare of guilt that she hadn't been gentler. Her mind had literally gone somewhere else while the ecstasy overwhelmed. It was almost scary, but mostly just… damn.

"Whoa," Ai breathed simply. The whole experience had left both of them speechless. After swallowing and clearing her throat, she licked her lips before wiping them on the back of her hand and crawling up to hover above her girlfriend. "You okay?"

"Hmnah!" was the best she could do. Ai giggled, so she tried to do better this time. "Yeah!"

Grinning, she pressed her face into Rise's neck. "Yeah. I can handle that review, I guess. Still wanna know if I did anything stupid, though; like, this was my first attempt, I can't have been perfect."

"Oh… you… close to… heaven." She hadn't meant to say 'heaven', it just slipped out.

"Really? Well… good, that's good." Ai was kissing her neck a little more firmly, more frequently. It suddenly occurred to Rise that she could feel that bulge digging into her hip; poor Ai hadn't gotten off since that morning, even if she did get there twice.

"You… want help?"

"Huh? Oh, naw, I can ignore it. Don't even trip."

"But you… I wanna… I like your friend." She took a couple of breaths, finally beginning to fully recover. "What can I call her?"

"Annoying," she snorted, and Rise rolled her eyes while she grinned into her hair. "Bitch that won't leave the party."

Nodding, she kissed into her scalp and earned herself a little sigh of appreciation in return. "I like her. That doesn't mean you have to, or like… that you have to keep her or like her for my sake. But just so you know, we get along pretty well. I mean, for a girl and an, um, appendage."

"Dork. But thanks. And it makes me mad that we have to have this conversation… but I appreciate that you get it. That you can really, uh, want my D without forgetting that I don't want it at all."

"Yeah, of course. I might have been dumb when we first started out but I learn fast."

"You do," she agreed with a little squeeze. Rise wrapped her arms more tightly around her girlfriend, appreciating their warmth, their connection. "It's honestly refreshing. Like, I got so much hate when I came out… even from my own family. I had started to believe it was impossible to expect people to get me. Then here comes this prissy famous bitch."

Rise smacked her on the arm, which only earned a harsh chuckle. "Who's the bitch here, really?" But then she moved her hand down to her bulge. "Let me take care of this. Like, it doesn't have to be anything special, or… not unless you want more."

"Mmhh… annoying." But Ai looked away, biting her lower lip. Again, Rise questioned why she found watching that to be so hot but she tried to relegate that question to the back of her mind for the time being.

"What is it?"

"Your mouth is so good… fuck, I'm sorry. Like, that's a lot to ask, twice in one d-"

"You got it." When Ai just blinked at her, she shrugged bashfully. "I'd do that. I'd use my finger again, I'll give you whatever you want. As long as you're okay with me figuring out how to do it as I go, I don't mind! It's nice that we can help each other out."

Though it took her a second, she started to nod with a slight smile. "It is really nice. Weird, but like, I guess it's not since we're dating."

"Yeah," Rise giggled. "We're just not used to dating, right?"

"Mm. You're sure I didn't mess up while muff diving?"

"While WHAT?! Excuse me? You can't call it that!"

Smirking a little as she sat up and started to disrobe, she purred, "I can call it whatever I want, Risette. Now perform for me. Maybe I'll just jerk off onto your butt."

"NO! Ew, why would you do that when I- that's gonna be all sticky, we'd have to take another bath!"

"So what? The last one turned out to be a real event…"

"Yeah, for you! And you were definitely writhing and squealing all over the place!"

"Y-yeah, well, that was your fault!" she shot back as that ready-and-willing cock bounced out into the open air. "Maybe I'll take you up on your mouth just so you can't say mean things to me."

Rise pursed her lips for a moment before saying, "Maybe I won't be as careful with my teeth this time."

"Hey, don't joke like that," Ai said with a shiver. "I might not want to keep her but that is NOT how I wanna lose her."

"Then behave," she purred as she crawled toward her lap, rubbing her cheek against the warm length. "And I'll behave exactly the way you want."

Ai complied. She complied for the following ten minutes, and got exactly what the doctor ordered — because the alluring Nurse Rise was tending her every need. Five star service.

                                               To Be Continued…

[ficauthor]

I don't want this to be water under the bridge.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138992

Word count: 2762

Pairing: Richie Tozier/ Eddie Kaspbrak

Warnings: Minor bullying. They don’t use slurs but like you can tell they would if i was willing to write them. Implied Homophobia 

Bowers and his gang really didn't know when to stop. They just loved to kick a guy when he was down. Eddie still grounded by his mother comes across the Bowers gang. --- Tears leaked out of the corners of Richie’s big eyes,” listen, Eds please, I’m sorry. Just please don’t hate me, you can stop being my friend but don’t hate me, please. We can make this water under the bridge… pun not intended.” Eddie stepped closer,” Richie I-“he looked down clenching his fist his nails cutting into his palm,” Please, don’t say that,” He looked up,” I don’t want this to be water under the bridge.“

Whatever it was that Eddie did to piss off Bowers and his gang he didn't know but he sure as hell wasn't sticking around to find out.

He'd been running errands for his mother, the first ones since he broke his arm. But he wasn’t going to lick a gift horse in the mouth. It was just his luck then that as he passed the arcade, Bowers and his crew came stumbling out. They had a new member with them.

Some blond-haired boy with a nervous face, but Eddie hardly had a moment to stumble away before they were leering at him.

“Oh, look it's beaver boys, little boyfriend," Bowers was stomping closer and closer his rancid breath wafting ever closer to Eddie.

Eddie kept his mouth shut though, not out of intelligence but out of fear, there were five of them against him, he knew they were dissing Richie (how couldn’t he, they always called them boyfriends) but he couldn't say anything.

“I wonder if he'll cry when we break his little boyfriend's other arm?" Patrick asked with a sneer.

Without waiting a moment later Eddie ran. He ran as hard and as fast as his body and legs would allow. carrying himself as far as he could before they troupe realized what happened and began their chase. Eddie was smaller and not good at fighting, but he had a head start and was faster, and much less prone to tripping than they were. Something they always teased him for. His co-ordinance was a point of contention with them, enough proof with everything else for them to believe that he was gay. 

He didn’t understand it, it was like his delicate careful motions he did naturally called him out for-

“I’m gonna get you- you little- ah!”

Bowers attempt to say what was no doubt an insult was cut off by him falling and crashing.

Eddie didn't risk looking back, he couldn't, he wouldn't. He was already at the forest's edge. If he could get enough of a lead he could just hide in the clubhouse.

Something hit a tree next to him, it was hard, and it tinged loudly.

“Shit!” he cried out; they were throwing rocks now.

They wanted blood.

His heart was in his throat, he could barely breathe, he needed to puff his inhaler, but he couldn’t, there was no time. This wasn’t the place.

He was near the bridge now, but there was a figure on the bridge. Maybe the could-

Oh, shit he knew that loudly patterned shirt, he knew that hair, he knew those giant oversized shining glasses.

Fuck.

It was Richie.

Shouting was out of the window, it wasn’t an option for him, if he did that Bowsers and his gang would know. They would know Rich was there. And then he’d be in danger too.

The second Eddie was on the bridge his feet shuddering the old wood Richie was looking up fearfully from where he kneeled. He had a knife, but Eddie had more pressing things to worry about.

They had to hide anywhere, any way possible.

Richie’s eyes were the size of saucers when he realized it was Eddie.

“E-eds?”

“Hide,” Eddie whined. “We have to hide. Bowers- “

“I’ll get you, you little bitch!” Belch was bellowing now; Eddie could hear them all crash through the forest. They were close.

“W-what?” Richie was lost.

“We have to hide.”

Richie caught on quickly, as much as the losers teased him for being stupid, he sure knew when to be smart.

Looking around frantically his eyes snagged on the bridge railing,” Under.”

“Where?” Eddie knew his voice was lilting high pitched, he knew his tone was cracked but he couldn’t help it. How could he? Bowers wanted him dead.

Richie climbed over the railing,” Come on we have to hide under the bridge, we have to jump.”

“Are you crazy?” he whisper shouted,” the germs alo-“

“Where are you!” another one of the gang was screaming out. He couldn’t tell who anymore their voices were hoarse with anger and screams.

Richie extended a hand,” come on. Eds trust me.” His red rimmed eyes were soft and gentle. Red rimmed?

“Eds please.” Richie’s voice was gentle, nothing like how they normally bantered or spoke.

Eddie bit his lip, he looked to the tree line and then with his heart thudding and shuddering in his entire being took his best friend’s hand and jumped.

The water was cold, it stuck and clung, and wasn’t that deep. Eddie’s knees and ankles shook with the force of the jump. Every part of his body stung and shook with exhaustion.  But Richie’s hand was warm and steady and tempered down his racing heart.

Time, as it turned out was only just barely on their side, just as they got tucked under the edge of the bridge the sound of the gang’s footsteps echoed above them. Eddie swallowed his spit a hard stone that cut as it traveled down.

He and Richie were trembling, but the rushing water of the river covered their movements.

“Where the fuck is, he?” Bowers demanded; Eddie could almost see the spit flinging from his mouth.

“I-I don’t know,” a new voice was saying. It was probably that nervous blond from before.

Eddie’s stomach churned at his voice and he grit his teeth, he sounded afraid, like he didn’t have a choice, his free hand trembled clenched and pooling nervous heat. Richie’s hand was sweaty and trembling in his hand. But the tremble felt different.

Patrick’s voice cut the conversation next,” What do you feel bad for him?” his voice was taunting, demeaning, scathing,” That little- “A meaty noise cut him off.

It sounded like a punch. The crunch of a broken nose and a tooth clattering on the wood made Eddie’s insides squirm.

“My cousin-” there were desperate clattering feet and Eddie could hear it, Bowers was pushing Patrick, he was wrangling him, had him in a stronghold against a wall. And just through the cracks of the bridge just barely peaking through Eddie could just barely see their feet block the light. “-is not a fucking freak like they are. Don’t you, Dare say he’s anything like that.”

Spit splattered to the bridge.

Eddie’s stomach swooped, he could hear the unsaid words, in between the insults. He knew what they thought of him, of Richie, of all the losers. Richie shook against him. Eddie squeezed his hand still looking up.

“The little bastard probably climbed in a tree,” Victor seethed.

Silence rang for a beat,” Yeah,” Bowers eventually said, Eddie was almost certain he was nodding.

Dust fell from the rafters of the bridge as Patrick was let down.

“Let’s go hunting,” Eddie could practically hear the grin in his words,” teach them what we do to people like them.”

One

   Two

       Three

           Four

                …

                      …

                             …

                                  Five sets of feet left the bridge.

 Muscles tight and breath still held wound and baited they waited. They stayed under that bridge for far longer than they needed to, but they stayed non the less.

Turning to Richie finally about to speak Eddie’s words died in his throat. He had noticed Richie’s red-rimmed eyes earlier but now, he looked sickly. His face was pale.

“Richie?” Eddie barely let his voice be above a whisper, his voice could easily be covered by the rushing water.

Richie’s body was cowered and contorted to be as small as possible. As minuscule as physical.  His face was twisted and there was sticky, just dried tacky tear tracks down his cheeks.

“Rich, they’re gone.”

Richie stayed silent. Not a joke, not a taunt, not a single grin.

It churned Eddie’s stomach, it made him sick.

Richie was never quiet, he breathed loud, even when he was in class his leg bounced, his pen tapped, his fingers rapped against the desk, he was a being of energy. his every pour oozed high octane energy and laughter.

Something about the Bowers gang’s attack had rattled him. This one was different than before.

They had to get out from under the bridge though, they couldn’t stay there, their ankles submerged in the nasty water of the river that ran under the kissing bridge.

“Come on Rich, we have to move,” Eddie pulled him forward gently.

Richie moved like a ghost, barely aware of his actions and drifting where Eddie lead him.

By the time they made it onto the bridge Eddie’s stomach was a pit of barely contained anger and sadness. Whatever those jerks did to his best friend he wanted them to pay. They were going to pay. Somehow in some way.

Light flashed in his eye, the setting sun glinting on a discarded knife on the side of the bridge. Eddie dropped Richie’s hand.

“Oh, your knife,” he said simply as he went to pick it up.

Suddenly Richie was scrambling back to life again.

“No!”

Eddie whipped hie head to him,” wha-“

Richie cleared his throat nervously,” ha, I- uh- I mean.”

Eddie hardly looked at the knife as he scooped it up,” okay that’s it, fucking spill dick wad.”

“Hahaha,” Richie’s laugh was hollow and nervous, nothing like how he normally was,” w-what are you talkin’ ‘bout eds? I just didn’t want a dame like you getting cut by a sharp knife li- “

Contorted in rage and frustration from Bowers, his mother, the clown Eddie snarled at Richie bisecting his face with his casted arm,” no! You aren’t going to do this anymore Richard- “Richie fell more into his shoulders at the call of his full first name. they never called each other their full names, it was always nicknaming and joking insults never a full first name. “I want to know,” he turned looking to where Richie had been kneeling trying to read,” why the fu- “

Richie was tearing Eddies face from the railing,” Please no, just don’t.”

Eddie shook his head from Richie’s grasp,” shut up not until you tell me what is wrong with you.”

Broken, that was the only word that could truly explain Richie’s face. The expression shattered something in Eddie.

“Eds, please.”

“I-I,” Eddie closed his eyes, he was so close to something he knew it,” Listen if you like carved yours and Bev’s names, hell even if its Gretta. I don’t care.”

He was lying, it was the most important thing to him. He was angry and disgusted by the fact that it was, but he needed to know, just to tell his heart once and for all to stop looking into things.

“I just want my best friend back, and since I broke my arm I haven’t seen you, and we don’t keep secrets-“his voice cracked at the lie on his behalf.

“Eddie please,” Richie was begging him now,” I can’t tell you Eddie please tru-“

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said before he could think. The nickname churned his stomach coming from Richie.

Richie’s nostrils flared,” then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?”

Angry and frustrated Eddie pivoted,” I’m looking at what you carved, Rich, because I’m sick and ti-“

His voice died in his throat when he finally read the new jagged carving. It wasn’t soft or weathered like any of the others. R which was obviously for Richie. A small plus sign, and-

“It was a joke,” Richie’s voice was both miles away and right in his ear.

He kept rambling on and on a mile a minute about. God Eddie had no clue honestly his own mind was so focused on that second letter, on the implications.

E

There were no girls in their year that could possibly fit it.

Emily Prendergast was the closest, but she was much younger than them. She was seven. That meant.

That meant the E was for Eddie.

His heart stopped at the thought, if the E was for Eddie then that meant.

That meant.

Eddie wasn’t alone, Richie was like him. It wasn’t just a rumour. For a brief moment, Eddie was queasy. Wasn’t he sick? His mother always told him he was sick, and she always said gay people were sick for being gay.

But Richie?

He couldn’t be sick.

He was warm, and alive, and whole, and messy. He got covered in dirt and grime, but he was never sick. Never him. Eddie had never, not once ever thought of Richie as sick, he couldn’t.

That meant.

If Richie wasn’t sick for being gay.

Then.

Eddie finally looked at Richie in his fishbowl magnified eyes.

Then he wasn’t sick either.

“-so you see it was an elaborate joke- hehehe.”

Laughter bubbled out of him, it wasn’t at Richie or meant to be malicious but at the situation. The entire time he could’ve- they could’ve-

Tears leaked out of the corners of Richie’s big eyes,” listen, Eds please, I’m sorry. Just please don’t hate me, you can stop being my friend but don’t hate me, please. We can make this water under the bridge… pun not intended.”

Eddie stepped closer,” Richie I-“he looked down clenching his fist his nails cutting into his palm,” Please, don’t say that,” He looked up,” I don’t want this to be water under the bridge.“

Richie’s voice was hoarse when he spoke again,” What?”

“Richie I-“

His voice was dead in his throat he couldn’t get the words out. So, he grabbed Richie’s hand laced his fingers through and dragged him onto the ground pointing to a carving that was on the board just below Richie’s carving and he dragged his left hand still holding Richie’s right to the jagged blocky carving he cut into the bridge a month ago.

The crudely cut R surrounded by a heart was so sloppy not just because of the medium, but because of the use of his non-dominant hand.

“I-is this?” Richie’s voice was gentle, delicate, afraid.

Eddie couldn’t help rolling his eyes though,” Jesus Rich you sound like Big Bill.”

A grin, large and comforting finally broke out on Richie’s face.

They were facing each other now, knee’s touching in their awkward cross-legged seats.

Richie put his free hand on Eddie’s face. His hand was long and slightly bony, his skin soft but just barely calloused at the fingertips. Eddie could feel that he needed to lotion his dry ass hands but the comfortable weight on his cheek outweighed his impulse to tell Richie that.

“Can I- Uhm.” Richie was choking on the words,” kiss you?”

Eddie didn’t answer not in words, he just leaned forward and pressed his lips to Richie’s.

At first, Richie was limp and surprised his chapped skin lifeless and Eddie was disappointed by the descriptions of first kisses and how amazing they were. But then Richie pressed back and while it wasn’t the spectacular fanfare that Ben’s romance novels described it was-

Breathtaking.

When they broke apart after what could have been minutes or hours Eddie felt dizzy and breathless, but not like how he felt when he turned to his inhaler. It was a kind of breathless that felt good.

“I guess I gotta break it off with your mother huh?”

Eddie shoved him gently,” shut up, I guess my torrid affair with your sister is also getting called off?”

Richie threw his head back in laughter his eye’s crinkling,” Torrid affair? What did you spend your lockdown reading the thesaurus?”

Eddie scrunched his nose trying not to smile,” you try being locked up in your room with a broken arm with nothing to do for forever.”

Richie stood up,” well then I suppose I’ll just have to visit you my good sir.” He was just barely slipping into a voice.

“What are you going on about Rich?”

Richie smirked extending a  hand to Eddie,” well,” he looked away and then back again,” hypothetically if you were cool with it, I could visit at night for sleepovers like I used too. Before you were grounded for life.”

“That would be nice,” Eddie took his hand and stood up,” just don’t get caught okay?”

Richie laughed,” trust me Eds my love, no one will be any the wiser,” he threw a wink at Eddie their hands still joined.

Eddie’s face was red, he could feel the heat on his ears and nose, but a quick glance at Richie as they walked swinging their hands together, told him that Richie was blushing too. His face and Neck were all a bright scarlet in the dusky afternoon light. And in Eddie’s mind, he’d never looked more handsome.

[son-of-crows-and-rats]

don't pit two bad bitches against each other, CGI can be really useful for things that just can't really follow the laws of physics, or are way too uncanny when you try. That being said, the less practical effects used, the worse the acting. Sometimes characters' shocked and amazed faces at seeing a theme park, or a dragon, or things like that aren't acting but just the actors seeing those pieces for the first time. Contrast that to an actor pretending to look around in amazement when in a completely empty green room. Even for fully CGI characters where the actor or prop is completely edited out and replaced, giving actors clear direction on where to look makes it much easier for them. To compare current situations using, let's say, a hypothetical movie series embodying a lot of the current issues with the industry, you would have characters walking onto a barren, desolate world to watch their loved ones die. The actors, however, are only given small sections of the script, told incredibly vague descriptions of the scene and their role in it, and then just put on a simple costume because it can be edited later, and do the scene with equally confused actors in a giant blank green room. Acting is reacting, and because it's so much harder to react to something that isn't there at all, every time practical effects are ignored for CGI, the acting, which is a central part of any film, goes down the drain. CGI in combination with specifial effects can be great! It can add life to dummies, make spaces feel infinitely larger than they are, completely defy the laws of reality, and secure really cool or tragic scenes without compromising the safety of the actors. But it's best used when adding some extra life to practical effects, otherwise everything else just feels hollow

Marvel movies have completely eliminated the concept of practical effects from the movie-watching public’s consciousness

[lilaceas]

isadora denchig

do you need a crime sentence given to your inner villain once he called you by your last name meaningless inspiration i was your past i was your ghost did a harley davidson & a 30mm analogical camera under golden hair god's throat, harm thighs & hard cock rebirth a pit of you i'd sucked & kiss. small & odd like breaking legs when you go for buying cigarettes around the corner nor for equal reasons because life & death aren't the same even since they draw me naked, tortured me & saved my life for another sound a compact mirror so soft & weed & peace & love. call me violent & call me mommy & death. high yellow heels & said please me by given him a hug you dropped my pink knit-skirt & floral panties you'd liked most & i'd loved to be with you but the same death everywhere waits in the hospital room where you played daddy going suspiscious your favourite fruit upon the stairs a smoker i shall reload a best friend & pretend i care shall enter my life as if i were a flower blinking one & twice at church we gave an end no price & no traps, in the end a bouquet & a hole in your chest nobody could love me like my mother's but they heard this before all games & more smoke & lipstick stain little job done the fucking ginger hair princess world from me to you to you for him from me an arrow & a heart a save a little creature besides my door when i was fresh pain delicate & pour drink left alone & set on fire burning every candle makes me more lonely. today could be november someday. somewhere. what stains made you so strong that your face don't blind me without sketching what you tried to beat me off all bad secrets you've tied in bed i walk into the worthless streets & cannot see any second through silence where those shows leads me a place a palace got diamonds for dinner & throw in the trash the moonlight we'd made love on surface & shoulders where you at sleeping on my sickness making money & blood then these georgia 45 rest & breakfast clear your vision what i was thinking lo? a bit for me a bit to my driver license a jealous bitch boy & joints that smells like johnson & johnson so tight on your defensives you almost got lost by loving the bookcase & the book my baby spring three o'clock sing to me to sleep no way out skip me in one & two glass by glass give me back my jewels shot me against a kitchen let an opaque vein bleed me from the trailed cross morning i saw victoria secret show could be heroine a heroin we all have different ways to hurt each others but what hurts more is not to be seen neither the sunset & orange pop licking it paper rainy mood version real down when a mermaid sings & turns you on georgia town snow big city tell me what am i missing i was thinking about if there's one chance & why i'd felt clean if all thus time was your hands that held me from falling inside my favourite sin should i believe? should i move?

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 61... Continued

By the time we got back to Ms. Joyce’s house, I was completely worn out and ready to tap out for the day. What I craved more than anything was a nice, soft bed so I could sleep for the remainder of the day. Unfortunately, I knew I’d have to wait for that though… it was now time for us to get all cleaned up and ready for the birthday dinner we had planned for Chris. Together, Ms. Joyce and I planned the dinner and made reservations for at least twenty people at a lavish restaurant downtown.  After Chris and I parted ways in my driveway, I ventured into my own house so I could get freshened up and change into my outfit for the night. The attire for the night was semi-formal and I had the perfect outfit for the occasion that would also transition well into the remainder of the night. I figured I would wait for Destani to come over to worry about my hair and makeup and I knew that wouldn’t take long, since I planned to wear my hair in its most curly and natural state for the night. After grabbing my outfit from my closet, I laid it out on my bed and headed to my bathroom for a quick shower.  A short while later, I exited the steamy retreat and headed back into my bedroom wrapped snuggly in a towel to call Destani. She answered after a few rings and I told her I was ready for her to come over so she could help with my hair and makeup. We hung up after she let me know that she was on her way and I decided to go ahead and slip on my outfit. I pulled on a matching black lace thong and bra set first then lotioned up my entire body in a shimmer creme. I moved on to my black lace OUTFIT and decided to wait for Destani to arrive before finishing up with my gold accessories and shoes.  Nearly half an hour later, Destani finally came bustling into my room hauling a dress bag and a few smaller bags. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, her face was absolutely blank and it was at that moment that I realized she hadn’t done a single thing to herself to get ready. "Destani... what are you doing?" I asked with my hands on my hips. "What are you talking about?" She asked, rushing toward my bed to place her bags down. "Why aren't you dressed?" "Um... first of all, you look fucking amazing! And second… bitch, I was not about to come running down the damn street in a dress and some heels with a full face of makeup. I figured I would just get dressed here." She huffed. I laughed at the distraught expression on her face and shook my head "Are you doing my hair in here or the bathroom?" "The bathroom... come on. I’m seriously feeling this romper though. I see you tryna cut up for yo nigga tonight… got the cheeks all out, yes honey!” She exclaimed as she playfully tapped a hand against my bottom while I moved ahead of her. I continued to laugh aloud as I reached back to swat her hand away her and bolted into the bathroom before she could touch my butt again. We finally emerged from my bathroom nearly an entire hour later and we were finally fully dressed, made up, and ready to go. I grabbed my small black quilted Channel clutch purse and quickly scurried along behind Destani who’d already stepped out of my room. We strutted downstairs to the den and I instantly grinned like a proud mother the moment I noticed Chris leaning against the wall leading into the den. He smirked when we locked eyes and the butterflies that’d been running amok in the pit of my belly returned full force. He looked as handsome as ever in the OUTFIT I picked for him for the evening, yet I found it insanely difficult to keep my eyes on him for more than a few seconds at a time.  Stepping off the last step and stopping in front of him, he reached for my chin and gripped it gently as he tilted my head back and eyed me closely "You look so fucking beautiful, you know that?" I smiled bashfully and bit down onto my bottom lip "Thank you. You look… very handsome. Do you like the outfit?" He glanced down at himself, quickly lifting his head back up to meet my gaze "Nah, I don't…" My smile dropped into a frown in a second and while I stared at him in complete and utter horror, He only chuckled and shook his head at my expense.  "I love it... you know me so well." He smirked. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped closer to him when I felt him squeeze my waist tighter in his hand. He slid both of his hands up to cup each side of my neck and I clutched onto his sides as we stared directly into each other’s eyes.  He meshed his lips together with mine and barely gave me any time to reciprocate the action before slyly slipping his tongue into my mouth. His tongue danced about skillfully and though I missed the feeling of the piercing that’d been removed after his accident, the sensation of his twirling appendage alone left me breathless and weak in the knees. I could hear the sound of Destani clearing her throat off to the side of us and I nearly forgot about her presence altogether, until Chris hesitantly pulled back from me and glanced at her with a smirk before licking his lips and staring down at me.  "Well I have never,” She started as she dramatically pressed a hand against her chest and blinked rapidly with her mouth hanging open, “You two are something else. You just gone stand there and make out right in my face with not a single regard for me. Would you like to stay here and just take that shit to the bedroom or what, you… heathens!”  "My bad Dez,” He chuckled as he pressed a hand against my lower back and eased me forward, “We good to go now. Especially since Sy promised me a threesome later tonight. You wanna join… we’re still looking for the third person?”  I just about gave myself whiplash from turning around so quickly to smack him hard on the chest and he cackled even harder “Stop telling people that… that’s not true!” “I just can’t with you two… I swear, I cannot! This nigga done turned my best friend the fuck out… Lawd have mercy!” Destani exclaimed.  “Oh shut up Dez!” I laughed, though I could feel my cheeks heating from embarrassment. She reached back for me suddenly and latched a hand onto my wrist, pulling me forward to stand at her side. “What time is he supposed to get here?” She spoke in a hushed tone as she leaned in close. “He should be here any minute now. I made it clear that he couldn’t be a minute late.” I said as I reached to unlock the front door. Mere seconds later, I could hear a vehicle approaching outside and I glanced at Destani before cracking the door open to peer outside. The driver was indeed right on time and I couldn’t contain my grin as I turned to face Chris who’d crept up behind me and waited patiently for me to open the door. I reached back to grab ahold of his hand and pulled him outside with Destani already well ahead of us, speaking to the driver out in the driveway.  "What is this Sy?” He asked with the most priceless expression on his face as he stared out at the Cadillac Escalade limousine with a customized birthday message scribbled along the windows for him.  "It’s your ride for the night babe. Let’s go!" I said, quickly locking the front door. I grabbed his hand once more and stepped down off the porch, leading him down the driveway toward Destani who stood there giggling with the driver. Grabbing her hand as well, I turned to the driver with a pleasant smile and dragged Destani and the birthday boy to the butterfly door of the limo so we could begin our night.  -- I stared down at Jaylen with a warm smile and watched as he sucked on Chris’s finger contently. I found it quite amusing to watch him hold Jaylen in the crook of one arm while he used his other hand to eat. After directing the driver of the limo to pick up the remainder of the group, Chris was in a world of surprise the moment we arrived at the restaurant. One entire half of the building was reserved just for him and the space was filled with all of his closest friends and family. He was bombarded almost instantly by birthday greetings and several congratulatory compliments from those who didn’t know about his son.  I shifted my gaze over to the table full of gifts just for him near the end of the main table. He ended up with quite an assortment and I was surprised that people even took the time to actually go out and spoil him like it was Christmas. When I initially asked him what he wanted from me specifically, he gave one simple answer… for me to never leave his side. Though I was sure he meant exactly what he said, I already had an idea of an actual gift that would be something meaningful for the both of us. So I settled on a simple necklace COMBO that included the date he swept me right off my feet and officially claimed me as his.  The moment he laid eyes on the ‘his’ and ‘hers’ pendants, he seemed to either forget where we were or not care at all that we had a room full of spectators as he took it upon himself to swoop in and lay the most sensual kiss on my lips. Everyone around us ooh’d and aww’d as he ended that kiss with an onslaught of sweet pecks against my lips, but I was left with blushing cheeks from utter embarrassment. I finally snapped out of that daze a short while later when I felt the warmth of his body against my side. I turned to face Chris just as he leaned in close to me, whisking me right up to cloud nine from his intoxicating aroma alone. "You good babe?" He asked only loud enough for me to hear as he continued to cradle Jaylen in his arm.  I nodded quickly and furrowed my brows "I'm fine. Why?" "You just look out of it… I just wanna make sure you not gettin bored or nothing.”  With a reassuring smile, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the side of his neck "I could never get bored with anything that has to do with you." Tilting his head back away from me, he stared down at my lips with his own bottom lip tucked into his smirking mouth and just as he moved in for yet another kiss I could hear someone clearing their throat from across the table.  "Would ya'll please quit caking over that baby's head," I snapped my head up and glanced across the table to see Destani staring right at me with a smirk on her face, “"Yes I said it, quit caking... we don't wanna see that and neither does Jaylen. And Sy can you come to the bathroom with me? Please." With a shake of my head, I laughed along with our audience and dropped my napkin onto the table, quickly excusing myself as I stood from my seat.  I trailed along behind Destani as she weaved her way through the dense restaurant toward the restrooms. The moment we set foot into the space, she made a beeline for the vanity mirror stretched across the length of one wall and whipped out a small makeup kit from her clutch. I stood a few feet behind her with my arms crossed tight over my chest and most of my weight shifted over to my right leg. "Destani... what are you doing?" I asked. "Um, touching up my makeup… what it look like?" She replied as she carefully applied another coat of nude lipstick to her lips.  "Is this what you called me in here for?" “No...” She paused as she glanced through the reflective glass at me, “Can you be a patient for like five seconds or what?”  I rolled my eyes at her and moved back to lean against the wall behind me. I figured she was prepared to take forever to finish up all because she knew I was annoyed with waiting for her and the thought alone irritated me. With a roll of my eyes and a scoff, I pushed away from the wall and made a move toward the door. Our waiters and waitresses were supposed to be bringing Chris's surprise birthday cake any minute, but with Destani standing there taking her sweet time I just knew we were gonna miss it.  I just about made it all the way to the door to exit, but Destani was quick to swing around to face me “Where you going?”  “Back to the table. I don’t wanna miss Chris’s surprise Dez and you’re being slow.” I complained with my face contorted into a frown.  Her lips twisted up into a mischievous smirk and after tossing the tube of lipstick back into her purse, she crossed her arms over her chest and eyed me from head to toe “Why are you being so impatient and snappy with me?" "Because you're being slow, I already told you! Now please come on." I demanded.  "Did the birthday boy already get some loving this morning, or were you planning to wait until later?" She asked suddenly. Her question caught me completely off guard and my head jerked back in surprise as I stared at her in shock.  "What are you talk..." "Matter of fact, when's the last time you gave him some ass, excluding today?” She probed. "Destani, what does that have to do..." "I think you're pregnant." She blurted with the most somber expression. The space around us washed over with a thick layer of silence and I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. I was so overcome with shock that I nearly failed to notice the bathroom door swinging open directly toward my face. I stepped aside just as the woman on the other side of the door pushed it completely open and walked in. She noticed me as the door closed and she immediately offered a sincere apology for almost smacking me in my face, but I could only bring myself to smile at her and lock my eyes right back on Destani.  "Why would you think that Dez?" I whispered harshly.  "Well, because… you’re just different lately. I don’t know, I can’t quite put my finger on it… not to mention, you got a serious glow and I swear your hips are getting wider.” She explained confidently as if she just knew this to be a fact.  With yet another roll of my eyes, I smacked my lips loudly and huffed "Look, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one who did my makeup like this to give me a glow and my hips are not getting wider… I am not pregnant!”  She dropped her gaze from my eyes and down to the front of my romper and smirked before looking back up at me with her head tilted curiously "Yeah… right. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things or something. Maybe I just... yeah, I think I’m just imagining things." The way she turned back toward the sink with that smug smirk still on her face left me rolling my eyes, but I remained calm and quiet so I wouldn’t give her any other reasons to believe her assumption.  "But that's not all I wanted to talk about though," She said, adjusting her clutch purse so she could close it, “I see everybody joined Chris to celebrate his big day, but it’s obvious that one person is missing." It didn’t take me long to realize exactly who she was referring to. I noticed almost immediately the moment we set foot in the restaurant that Rashad was absent from the festivities, but my only concern was that Chris was happy and kept a smile on his face all night… with or without his long lost friend.  "I noticed. But it’s alright… I just wanna make sure Chris has fun tonight and I know that will happen with or without Rashad." I said.  "You’re right… you’re absolutely right. We’re all gonna have fun and I plan on choosing a nigga tonight, because you know Chris be having those fine ass friends that don’t nobody know about… I know they’ll be there tonight too! I ain’t need little lame ass there blocking my swag.”  I laughed and shook my head as we finally ventured out of the restroom and back toward the tables.  -- The bass of the music thumbed through my veins and I couldn’t help but sway from side to side as we approached the front door. Chris stuck to my backside like glue from the time we climbed out the limo to the time we stepped foot through the door. With the crowd of people surrounding us and stopping us every few steps to greet him as if he were a celebrity, I was surprised he managed to keep at least one hand at my waist as we walked. I gawked at the gorgeous house ahead of us and by the time we were inside, I’m sure I resembled a kid in Disney World as I took in the splendor of it. I knew the boys had met with Mike, the party planning master, a few times to put the whole thing together, but I had no clue they would end up with something this phenomenal.  Only a few feet into the foyer of the mini mansion, Chris was bombarded with even more people than I cared to have around me, so I managed to slip out of his grasp and I made my way to a sitting area off to the side of the front door. I claimed a seat on one of the plush chairs and eyed the immense crowd that seemed to have tripled in size around Chris. With a smirk, I shook my head at the sight of him basking in all his glory.  "Last time I checked, this nigga wasn't no damn celebrity." I could hear a distinct voice to my left and I turned to see Tameka standing with a brow raised with Nalay and Destani on either side of her. She shook her head as she glanced over at Chris and took a seat on a longer couch across from me.  "I know right... and all these damn groupies just blowing his head up even bigger than it already it is." Destani cackled and slapped hands with Tameka who laughed right along with her. I turned my attention back to him in the center of the crowd and watched as he grinned widely and tossed his hands up in the air, shouting into the crowd eagerly prompting them to cheer like he really was some big celebrity. He bounced around to the music and led them all off toward the living room where a huge dance floor was set up with two DJ booths in each corner.  Nearly an hour in, the party had livened up tremendously. There weren’t many people standing stagnant and lingering in the vast space… the dance floor was jam packed with hot and sweaty bodies. Even the girls and I had managed to squeeze into the mass and we bobbed along to the music. Chris had disappeared somewhere in the throng of people, but I wasn’t concerned with where he could be. I was actually enjoying myself with my friends and I didn’t see a need to follow his every move.  The more I danced carefree and laughed aloud with the group, the more I could feel an incessant bumping against my backside that was quickly starting to irritate me. I continued to dance along to Yo Gotti’s Act Right, but that bumping just continued on and eventually I swung around and glared at the couple who grinded against one another right against my butt like there was no one else in the room. Even as I stared right at them in utter disgust, they kept on with their freak fest so eventually I turned away from them with a roll of my eyes and attempted to maneuver away from the group.  “Wait… where you going?” I glanced back when I felt a hand gripping my arm only to find Destani staring at me.  “It’s really hot… I’m gonna go sit down for a minute.” I shouted over the music. She stared at me for a while, knitting her brows curiously as she nodded and released my arm after I grinned to assure her that I was fine.  I was well on my way to yet another sitting area not far from the dance floor, but my attention was suddenly snatched before I could even reach a seat. I spotted a group of girls dancing like a couple of strippers straight from Magic City and I swore my heart stopped as I stared right into the center of the small circle they’d created. The guy that stood there was all too familiar and though I could only see him from behind, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was my boyfriend. My boyfriend… surrounded by a group of wanna be strippers. I had no clue how to react as one of the girls boldly turned to face him and ran the tips of her fingers seductively along his left cheek, pulling him closer to her by the front of his shirt.  I knew I didn’t want to create a spectacle in the middle of that dance floor in front of everyone by confronting him, so I whipped around and continued on to the sitting area without looking back. I ran my hand through my hair to toss it back out of my face and leaned back in my seat with a huff. Only seconds after I made myself comfortable on the couch, I felt a hand against my right shoulder and I turned to see Dontay hovering above me, with a face drenched in sweat.  "Wassup? Why you sitting over here by yourself?" He asked, pulling the end of his shirt up to wipe away a bit of the perspiration from his face.  I shrugged my shoulders and stared off into the crowd "I got tired and hot and I didn’t wanna end up passing out in the middle of the dance floor." He chuckled and turned to look off into the crowd as well "You ain’t gotta be all sarcastic girl." I laughed, but kept quiet as my eyes scanned over the scene and unintentionally roamed right over to Chris. The girl who’d previously been in his face had now hooked her hands around the back of his neck and he stood there with his hands limp at his sides with a bored expression as her friends bounced and twerked on either side of him. He kept his head raised and hadn’t even bothered to glance down at her as his eyes roamed constantly over the crowd.  "You see your boy?" Dontay asked.  "What?"  "Your boy," He repeated, nodding his head in Chris's direction, "I think he’s looking for you." "Yeah, I beg to differ.” I muttered, rolling my eyes and turning my head. "Actually, I think he really is." He nudged me gently with his elbow and I turned to see Chris staring directly at me with a smirk. He leaned down a bit, never breaking the eye contact with me, and whispered into the girl’s ear. She rolled her eyes and jerked her head back with attitude and immediately stopped dancing. He took that as an opportunity to slip out of her grasp and without hesitation he squeezed through a few dancing bodies to make his way toward Dontay and I.  "Wassup bro?” He greeted Dontay first once he reached us and I made sure to keep my gaze everywhere but on him, "This party is fucking insane man! Ya’ll fucked it up with this one.”  "Aye nigga, you know we can only do it big for the big man himself… no less!" They both burst into a fit of laughter and dapped each other up then Dontay glanced over at me then peered at Chris with a smirk.  "Well," He cleared his throat and stood from the arm of the couch beside me "I think Imma go hit the dance floor again... gotta figure out which one of these hoes is coming home with a nigga tonight!”  They dapped once more and the moment he walked off, Chris took it upon himself to plop down in the chair beside me after pulling it up right in front of me. “Why you ain’t out there dancing babe?” He asked breathlessly.  I shrugged my shoulders and glanced at his perspiring face “It was getting really hot and I was getting tired. I was dancing but I just wanted to take a break.” He stared at me for a while with that handsome smirk and with his legs spread on either side of mine, he leaned in close to me “You still tired?” I cut my eyes at him as I crossed my arms over my chest “Yes.” He smacked his lips and tilted his head to one side, cutting his eyes at me as he did so “No you not… come dance with me.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him trying not to snap from the sudden irritation that surged through my veins “I really don’t want to Chris… I’m still tired and my feet hurt.” “You not tired,” He said as he maintained that stance with his eyes now squinted at me, “What’s wrong?” I shook my head adamantly and leaned back in my seat “Nothing, I’m tired… that’s all.” He leaned in even closer to me and reached out to grip my chin, forcing me to face him “That’s not all… what’s wrong?” Snatching out of his grasp and staring past him toward the dance floor… I failed to realize that my leg was quivering as I sat there with my arms crossed over my chest, but Chris noticed almost immediately and he leaned to one side so that his face was directly in my line of vision “What’s the problem babe? Why you acting like that?” “I’m not acting like anything Chris. Shouldn’t you be out there dancing … everyone’s probably waiting for you.” “Fuck everyone… I want my girlfriend to tell me what’s wrong. Better yet, tell me if I did something wrong.” He pressed on. His determined interrogation was truly getting under my skin, but I focused on keeping my demeanor calm because I had no desire to ruin his birthday over my own petty attitude. As my eyes continued to take in each and every dancing body in the near vicinity, I mistakenly glanced over at the group of girls that’d been dancing all over him before he came to me. I glared at them for a short while then rolled my eyes and dropped my gaze back on him.  He glanced over in their direction then furrowed his brows and eyed me carefully “That’s why you sitting over here? You upset ‘cause they was dancing on me earlier… right?”  I cut my eyes at him and shook my head with a sigh “I never said I was upset with you. All I said was that I’m tired… but if it would make you feel better to believe that, then whatever.”  I attempted to stand up from my seat to move away from the ensuing argument, but I wasn’t nearly quick enough for Chris who had a hand around my waist within only a second “Baby, why you acting like this? No it wouldn’t make me feel better to believe that… I just want you to talk to me… tell me what’s on your mind.” I sighed and shut my eyes as I stood there focusing on just the feeling of his hand grasping my side. I refused to start a fight with him in the middle of the party and though I was nearly just as territorial as he, my reaction was totally different than his would have ever been if I was caught dancing with someone other than him. So rather than continuing on with my harsh attitude, I turned to face him and sighed through a smile.  “I really am tired Charlie… I’m not upset with you about anything, I promise. Today is your birthday and I understand that every single person in here probably wants to spend some sort of time with you… they all wanna be near you. I’m not gonna be that bitter girlfriend to stop you from enjoying your day. So I’m telling you right now that I’m not upset or angry with you, so just get that out of your mind and stop worrying about me.” I explained.  He stared up at me with his lips twisted to one side then smirked suddenly and pulled me down by my waist into his lap "Do you understand how much I love you? You too good to me.”  I smiled and chuckled softly, wrapping my arms rightfully around the back of his neck as he cupped my face to pull me in closer to him "I don't wanna ruin your night... I just want you to have fun with no worries or stress okay." He nodded and pressed his lips against mine, pulling me in as close to him as he could, allowing me to enjoy the sensation of his plump lips before Dontay, BJ, and Mike abruptly closed in on us. I barely had time to climb down out of Chris's lap before they snatched him up from his seat to drag him off toward the dance floor. I could feel someone tugging at my wrist in the process and I failed to figure out who in the midst of the chaos.  I’d assumed that perhaps it was now time to surprise him with his birthday cake and I was surprised to see the mass of people on the dance floor parting like the Red Sea as the boys dragged Chris through and he dragged me along behind him. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the DJ had shut the music off completely and the colossal space was washed over in a sea of murmured whispers. The boys dragged him to the front of the crowd and I nearly slammed right into his back when he stopped abruptly in front of me. I could barely see over his shoulder from where I stood behind him, so I rolled onto the tips of my toes and leaned in against his left shoulder to figure out what was going on.  There, only feet away from him, stood two white men and a black man… all dressed in police uniforms.  "Are you Christopher Maurice Brown?" One of them spoke up once Chris was standing directly in front of them. "Yes… is there a problem?" He asked, looking from one officer to the other. I continued to stare over his shoulder and my heart slowly began to sink as they glanced back and forth between one another before one finally stepped forward to speak. "Mr. Brown... we have a warrant for your arrest..."