#to be clear i love da2. but it has problems

[n7punk]

I'm only *checks save time* okay jesus christ 25 hours in but DA:V feels like what DA2 wanted to be if it had the development time it needed. Going through the city environments feels so much like what Kirkwall was trying to be but instead it had the same two caves pasted over and over. Obviously they're different stories and there are still big differences in the games, but when DA:V also focuses more tightly on small stories and characters versus the giant quests undertaken in DA:O and DA:I it really does feel like Dragon Age 2² to me in the best way possible

[sundogsandrainbows]

Hi, I'm sorry to write to you out of the blue, but Of Elves and Humans was the first DA longfic that got me hooked back in 2011 when I, as a dumb teen, happened to pick up DAO. Ever since then, the DA universe has been a constant fixation of mine and my admiration for you as a writer as well as someone who isn’t afraid to call out the franchise's flaws has never wavered. Now that Bioware decided to take a massive shit on everything pre-DAV and their oldest fans specifically, I'm really devastated and feel like a fool for having been so invested in DA and its lore for those past 13 years. It’s incredibly encouraging, however, to see you keep on keeping on. "So since they spat in my face like this I ignore this atrocity of a game even exists" is where I hope to be at soon, too. Thank you.

(First of all apologies for the late reply, I put it in my drafts when i was too tired to complete it, and then my adhd brain forgot it existed due to being distracted by new shinies 😂☠)

But aww omg i cannot believe i was the gateway drug into dragon age, or rather the old version of my story on FFN was. I am so very honored <3 And nonnie, I feel you. I am invested in DA as a series since DA:O's release in 2009, like I bought it on a whim for XBox because I liked Mass Effect 1 sm. So that is 15 yrs of my life i spent loving and discussing a thing while still being critical of the thing, but now i feel so very protective of the world, lore and its characters that "New Bioware" has decided to take a massive dump of shit on, and not only the games but the old fans I feel are treated with disdain too and do not matter to them any longer.

Long, subjective rant about current bioware aka the shambling corpse of its former self and talent incoming. Spoilers for Veilguard bc i don't give a fuck to avoid them :D You (general you, not you in particular dearest nonny <3) should use your time better than to play this shit anyhow 😂

It feels like calculated malice of new Bioware to apply the scorched earth tactics to offscreen destroy everything that old fans and fans of the other games in general held dear, and was supposed to suck out the enjoyment of DAO, DA2 and DAI. Like it is obvious they plan to create a sequel on DA's scorched bones, but jfc, you can do so story-wise without spitting everyone loving what old bioware has built in the face after dropkicking them. But to me that is part of the problem, since if i remember correctly and i wish i could find the bit... they praised Veilguard as "The best Dragon Age game ever", with the most interesting companions and best most improved combat system, comparing it to the other three games in a near smug fashion. There is marketing and there is putting the other games down to prop up your most favorite and only child mattering and they were definitely doing the latter. And don't get me started on the whole "Who is Zevran" debacle or we are gonna here all day.

Bottom line is new/current devs and writer do not give a shit about and very possibly have never played any other game than Inquisition, and you cannot tell me otherwise. And since a lot of devs/writer have left since the start of this project that would become this abysmal game, I also have the impression that there is a lot of underlying resentment toward what these former colleagues have created and so they piss on it in order to make it fully theirs now. Like dogs marking their territory, and well that did not work out, imo. At all.

Ever since they announced respecting our past choices by ignoring them (????) it was clear to me that I would not play Veilguard but just watch a playthrough and all spoilers and then move on. And everything i saw before release was shocking... like i was flabbergasted at how baaaad the dialogue was, which as a writer myself is super important to me in my story. There was no subtext, characters just blurt out everything they think and feel, like a lifeless doll you squeeze and words tumbling out and just as natural. It is stilted, awkward and 80% of it exists for info dump or info dumb rather as they keep repeating the same shit they just told you a few seconds ago as if you as the player are braindead. Here is a good example of what i mean.

Jfc, who edited this crap? There is so much superfluous dialogue that adds nothing to a scene but annoyance for the player and says nothing at all. Just pure senseless yapping in the most cringy way. Why was no one there to trim this nonsense as you should as a writer/editor? Hell, they really disregarded every simple and basic writing rule (everything is told never SHOWN for example especially in dialogue) which really made me question their competence in what they were doing and thus the quality of the upcoming game but i still held out hope for it to not be that bad.

Well shit, it was even worse. In all regards. Especially the writing that cringed this writer into a new dimension with its incoherent incompetence. Jfc. they got paid for that? I'm convinced the majority of fandom writer can do much better, even unpaid. Hell my cat just by walking over the keyboard can manage a better draft and script...💀

But I digress. That is a rant for another time. Point is, nonny, despite my defiant words, I struggled too for days after i got to know the full extent of Bioware's spiteful fuckery to even look at anything da related, in my case my Alistair/Mahariel longfic. I was really down for a few days, ngl. Then again, there is nothing better than spite fueling my creativity to prove "i can write better" soooo in the end and with the help of the much better first version of DA4 in the artbook, I was able to exorcise the demons and feverdream-mindfuck of mediocrity sold to me as a turd with gold-glitter that is this game.

I have successfully now rejected its existence, filled the void with the version that should have been from the artbook and vowed to give no fucks what bioware is doing or saying and infinitely more fucks when writing my own version of thedas and the version of DA4 that should be. REWRITES BBY hell yeah. So OEAH:R is just the beginning of a verse-wise rewrite. But if you need a pick me up, nonny, you are very much welcome to take a trip down memory lane to Dragon 9:30 and see how much this iteration of the story differs from my first one back in the days. Because in this house of mine, we grow and learn as writers, unlike bioware where writer ego reigns surpreme (oh boy and does it ever show in VG) aka eating their own turds and tell themselves it is the finest chocolate 💀

There is still a lot of good about DA out there, but we have to accept it does not come from Bioware any longer. Instead it came, comes and will come from the fans and creators of art and texts and words defying their bullshit with their love and respect for the world, its lore and characters. Also very unlike Bioware.

As we should <3

[butchvamp]

okay i finally got all the companions last night. gonna write my current thoughts about the game under the cut (sorry it's long lol)

so far i've really enjoyed the gameplay the most. i like the combat (im playing as a dual wield rogue) and i really like all the new ways to move around in-game (ziplines, climbing, etc). i really love the maps and the way we can explore all the areas, this is what i've spent most of my time doing lmao and in general i'm having fun playing!

but this tone change in this game is Rough. there's a real lack of depth, there's no friction at all (for some reason every faction just loves Rook and trusts them completely) and so many characters and groups have just been completely defanged. there's this weird vibe of like... GOD i hate pointing it out cus it feels like i'm complaining about the game being "woke" but there's such a weird vibe right now where it feels like the factions arent allowed to be "problematic." the crows act like a found family rather than the brutal assassin organization we've learned about previously that buys slaves and tortures their recruits into perfection (in any previous game Rook's mistake as a crow would have resulted in their death or extreme punishment. but this time it doesn't even feel like it matters, you go back to the crows and everyone there automatically loves you. jacobus is being babied and protected when before they would have just let him get himself killed. there's just no power struggle, no competition, no urgency.)

i also noticed it with the lords of fortune. Taash making a point to emphasize that the lords aren't Thieves and they're sooo correct and return cultural artifacts to par vollen (and Isabela is a part of this for some reason despite the fact she can run off with the book she stole from the arishok in da2...?) there's this weird over-correction happening where past companions are having their flaws completely ironed out. you find various codex entries all written by Dorian arguing against slavery now (and to be clear. i have my own criticisms of his weird pro-slavery rant in inquisition, but this just feels so forced)

Varric has been completely stripped of his role (and personality tbh) and relegated to a mouthpiece that just constantly gives Rook positive affirmations and almost treats them like a child despite Rook at the very least being established in whatever faction they've come from. and then there's also Rook themselves...

there's barely any roleplaying allowed, Rook is just a Good Guy and everyone loves them and trusts them immediately and you're forced to be invested in fighting Solas no matter what, you can't even choose your own motivations. and you can't really be aggressive or "mean" (at least in inquisition you could resist the herald title and question the inquisition's existence). which i don't necessarily have a problem with on its own but why am i allowed to play a crow then? and why is Rook so naive and insecure when they clearly were headstrong enough to go against their faction in their origin? the first few hours are so "the power of friendship!!!" and it's very bizarre considering Rook doesn't know any of these people except Varric and Harding. if you choose to leave the mayor in dmeta crossing, Neve challenges Rook's decision (good!) but this causes Rook to go running back to Varric and suddenly be extremely insecure about their choice (bad!) my Rook is an assassin and has no qualms about letting some guy die regardless of whether Neve likes it or not.

but it's like the game won't allow there to be any kind of tension or friction between characters, no disagreements or disapproval... it's all just so BORING!!!!!! it feels so silly!!! why are we so worried about these factions being Right or our characters being Correct but then you still depict the qunari as this faceless bloodthirsty monolith that only want to Kill. the venatori are all evil and abuse their slaves (but dont worry, none of US have slaves now!!!)-- it's SO black and white. this is like, the opposite of what i play these games for... everyone is toothless and inoffensive and boring. and nevermind the fact that the game is still racist, anyways ���

also . not as serious this is goofy but i can't even imagine how they're going to do the romance scenes in this game. so far everything has felt geared towards a younger, new audience (which doesn't make sense, this game has to feel nonsensical if you've never played any other dragon age game, so little is explained properly) and i can't even imagine romance scenes happening like they have in previous games. are there even any? lmao

[fersrsbizniz]

I’m not going to say too much, so there’s not really too many spoilers, but damn…

I am really trying my best to like this game and it just isn’t it.

I’m sure others have said things better but I really am trying my best not to spoil myself as I’m not done so I haven’t seen who might have yet. I’m also reserving final judgement until the end, but I’m struggling 20 hrs in and figured laying it out quickly might make it clear what my damage is with it.

Some good:

I’ve grown to not mind the art direction so much (would place it above DA2–remember poor Bethany’s hands there???)

I really enjoyed the character creator and I thought I did a pretty good job of making my Inquisitor (Carwen, my boy, I wonder when I’ll see you…), and my Rook looks pretty spiffy, too.

It’s ticking the box of I have to find all of the things on the map

I like Neve and Lucanis so far but that really doesn’t surprise me

I think I’ve only had one glitch so far and that is where it reset me finding the chests in the Lighthouse for some reason (unless there are two new chests I don’t know about…)

Meh:

I need more time with Bellara. I like her voice actor’s work, and her general everything else, but she is very very bubbly (sans one moment so far where I felt I got to know her a little better) and that always takes me a minute to adjust to.

I like my Rook, but I can’t tell where I get to headcanon and where they’ve done it for me so my understanding is disjointed. (I’m weird though, and prefer the Inquisitor/Tav experience where I’m a blank slate)

I don’t hate but I don’t love the game mechanics for fighting, which, tbh, means nothing to me because I’ve played all of the Dragon Age games and this is constantly changing and has never colored my opinion of the game.

Some not so good:

Not digging the writing so far for things (certain behaviors make no sense, what would have been reactive in all other games is sort of a shrug here)

My Rook is so positive during awful situations I specifically want to ask him if he is okay because he is acting like me when I am at my limit at work. Did not want to play a game where I am reminded of bottling up my stress for the sake of others, and idk if that was even the intention.

Not digging the general direction of the Crows (I like the characters, not liking the change of the established system that ignores the nastier side)

Why is everyone after me??? The rogue??? (I have heard it’s worse for mages and oof) Lemme hide and backstab. I am no tank.

If I have to find and shoot one more red crystal…(at least the shards in the other game were optional—yes, I did find all of those, but it was self-imposed!)

Not liking how the elves are totally blasé about some stuff that really would have affected them before

Not liking how they made Bellara apologize for something she didn’t need to (it did not read like a personal problem, it sounded like the writers kinda being racist actually)

For all they talked about Tevinter I thought there would be more to see of the fancier side (maybe there will be??? But somehow I’m still pressing x to doubt)

Harding, what did they do to your character ;-; (there’s a straight up tonal shift in her character, I am not imagining it…this is not the same Harding that had that discussion with my Inquisitor during and at the end of the Jaws of Hakkon DLC)

Why am I locked out of areas if I’ve found a route there????? Let Me In!!! I must find all of the things!!!! Let me clear the area like I did in the Hinterlands, dragons be damned!!! (Have not seen a dragon yet, just saying, I learned the hard way and survived in DAI) What can I say? I don’t like incomplete maps.

Maybe I’ll grow to love it with time, but this is just what I’m feeling now…

[annoyed-galaxy]

Fictober 2024 ~ 15

"let's try this"

Fanfiction: DA2 I know my fictober stuff seems pretty random, but I'm kinda just writing what's on my mind and I just finished The Masked Empire and it set up a lot of stuff and I just got eluvians on the mind. Writing a thing every single day has been very interesting, but good practice even if what I produce seems random or noncohesive. Just lots of thoughts and I honestly should just write more because I don't do it enough. So fictober is definitely helping with that. But also just posting without a care has been helping to. I don't expect most people to read what I make and I'm kinda just hyperfixating into the void, but eh you know how it be. Anxiety is a bitch. Can also be found on Ao3

Seth had never expected himself to explore ancient ruins as a hobby, but since leaving Kirkwall, a man had to find something to do as a fugitive. Being this close to Tevinter, however, caused him to be a little on edge, but nothing he couldn’t bury beneath a charming smile and well placed joke. 

His partner, on the other hand, seemed to relax a little bit more the closer to Tevinter they were. In some regards, Anders respected Tevinter and even sometimes idolized it. But Anders was no fool and knew there was as much corruption in the empire as other places. Still, mages were more free there than in other parts of Thedas. 

If someone were to ask why Seth and Anders were poking around in some random ruin near the border of Tevinter, neither man would have been able to give an answer. They may have alluded to things such as finding some artifacts to sell, but they didn’t need money, or studying some ancient text on the walls, but Seth found that too boring and Anders wasn’t that interested. Honestly, it was just an excuse for the two of them to do something that didn’t involve running away from their problems. 

Their staffs lit up the area in blue and red colors, causing the shadows to retreat as they walked through crumbling halls. They held each other’s hand and just looked at the walls around them. Something about this place seemed so…ancient. Anders squinted at some script on the walls that his light managed to catch. He stopped and Seth staggered back when Anders’s hand pulled him still. Seth looked at what Anders was looking at and brought his staff close, illuminating the script more.

“What is that?” he asked, tilting his head examining the odd text. Seth didn’t grow up in the Circle. He was an apostate his entire life and everything he learned about magic and history was through his parents. Compared to Anders, who had the entire knowledge of the Circle at his disposal, Seth was less knowledgeable about most things. 

“I think it’s elven,” Anders replied, his face still scrunched up in thought. 

Seth’s eyes widened in surprise. “Elven ruins? This close to Tevinter?” 

Anders looked at his lover with a soft smile. “The elven empire once covered the entirety of Thedas, love.” He turned back to the script. “I am not surprised we managed to stumble across one now.” 

“Can you read what it says?” Seth asked. 

Anders shook his head. “I only studied the basics of elven and this seems super ancient.” He groaned. “All I’m getting is ‘crossroads’, but I don’t know what context that could be used in.” 

Seth shrugged. “Maybe it’s a metaphor.” 

Anders shook his head. “Maybe, but who knows.” 

They continued on, seeing more of the elven script along the walls, but Anders’s still couldn’t decipher any of it. 

At the end of the corridor they walked in, it was a dead end. At least, it was now. Rubble covered what might have been a large door into, presumably, a larger room. They approached the debris and let go of each other’s hands as they examined around the rocks, looking for any possible way to clear the debris. After determining there was no way, Anders sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. 

“Ah well. End of this journey I suppose.” He looked over and saw that Seth was still looking at a spot. 

Then Seth put the blade end of his staff in between some rocks and a foot against the rock next to the staff. “Let’s try this,” he muttered to himself. Anders felt the air shift as Seth summoned mana to him. Anders backed up a bit watching as Seth began to pry the rocks apart with his staff, using some force magic to make them looser. Anders looked up at the top and saw that some of the rocks had begun to shake. 

“Oh no,” Anders just whispered to himself as he realized what Seth was doing. He ran to the side of the corridor, pressing himself up against the wall just as Seth finally pried the rock free with his staff. The debris came crashing down after that and Seth used his magic to push it all away from him before he was crushed. Once the dust settled and rocks had stopped moving, Anders opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them and looked at Seth who was wiping himself off of dust, but had a wicked smile on his face. 

“That worked easily!” he cheered, looking at Anders. 

Anders sighed and just smiled softly. “You’re reckless.”

Seth winked. “S’what I do.” Then he grabbed Anders’s hand again and they entered the large chamber. What they saw, they couldn’t believe. 

They were in the largest chamber either of them had ever been before. All around them were sarcophagi and epitaphs, reduced to illegible text that neither of them could read. Along the walls were columns where torches were still lit with a blue fire, casting the entire room in a haunting glow. Seth stamped out his staff and Anders followed suit since they no longer needed to light their way.

What was the most impressive thing in the chamber was at the far end of where they had entered. 

Standing tall and surrounded by carvings of dragons and large wolves was a ornate frame surrounding a cloudy gray glass. As they approached the curious object, Seth’s eyes widened with recognition. “This looks just like Merrill’s mirror,” he said, examining the cloudy gray that seemed to slowly move across the surface of the glass.

“The eluvian?” Anders asked and Seth nodded in confirmation. “Wasn’t that thing dangerous?” Anders took a step back, tugging on Seth’s hand.

“I think that one was dangerous because it had been corrupted by something. This…This looks dormant.” Seth approached the mirror, dragging Anders behind him despite Anders’s slight protests. He put his hand against the surface and it was cool to the skin. “She never did get it working, though,” Seth wondered out loud. 

“Maybe it’s because whatever magic powered these things is gone,” Anders offered, looking at the mirror. “After all, the eluvians are ancient elvish.” 

Seth shrugged. “Maybe.” Then he considered for a moment. “Do you think she’d like to know about this?” 

Anders looked at Seth with a frown. “You want to give this location to Merrill?” 

Seth shrugged. “Why not? She’s been through a lot, maybe studying a place that belonged to her people will help her find what she’s looking for.” 

Anders was about to say something in protest but then just sighed. “I don’t think there’d be any actual harm to it. Though,” he looked around, “you feel it don’t you?”

Seth nodded his head as he turned from the mirror. “The Veil is thin.” 

Anders eyes the sarcophagi around them with concern. “If we’re not careful, or if she wasn’t, I have a bad feeling this chamber could be flooded with corpses or worse.” 

Seth agreed and then slowly walked away from the eluvian, Anders’s following suit. 

That night, Seth drafted up a letter that he then gave to a local barkeep to send to Kirkwall. 

Varric, 

Found an interesting place Daisy may be interested in if you still got contact with her. Something to do with her people and might help with that mirror she had been working on for so long. Location’s on the map attached. 

Also, hope you’re doing well. Miss you buddy. 

- H.

[v-arbellanaris]

Not here to excuse Samson's actions, but I do find it weird that the writers had a street beggar sell a young boy/man to slavery because said boy/man didn't have money, and Samson needed money for his addiction to lyrium. I just feel like this writing decision definitely came from the writers's ableism, their apparent view of beggars as bad, unreliable or greedy. In DAO, you can encounter a beggar in the alienage who turns out to just want free money, and another beggar in DA2 who turns out to be demon-possessed the next time you meet her. Samson may have done wrong, but it feels like the writers want to make it out that beggars are just plain unreliable. My thoughts on this, anyway.

so like. which is it. is his writing ableist or classist. schrodinger's writing, where it's both ableist or classist based on whatever you need it to be to make samson morally pure?

i never said he sold anyone into slavery knowingly. what i did say was that samson is not a Good Templar because 1. he goes back to the templars given the opportunity, unlike OTHER TEMPLARS that we KNOW leave the order, 2. maybe when he's taking money from incredibly desperate people or working with incredibly desperate and vulnerable people, he has due diligence and a duty to make sure whoever he is sending them to isn't going to put them on a fucking ship to tevinter to be sold. like. i don't know how much clearer i can make it at this point - samson was always morally grey. and i do think there's ableism touching his writing - as there is touching a lot of the writing concerning disabilities and addiction in da (one of my more unpopular opinions is that ending da2 with meredith's death is ableist, after all) - but that doesn't like... mean that Did Not Happen? the samson thing with feynriel wasn't a retcon added in later to make him look back, it was something that did, in fact, happen? and i really don't think that the problems with samson's writing boils down to wanting to give out a specific message about beggars in da.

(you have plenty of beggars in dao that are never treated like that - notably in the alienage, but also in lothering. usually you're the one that can be an asshole to people begging for money, and to me, it's pretty clear you're the asshole for it.)

like. if you had argued that it was to paint a Certain Type of Addict to look bad, then i do agree, but this really just feels like a Reach. samson, within the context of the narrative, made decisions that he should be responsible for. and there's definitely off-putting aspects around his writing - specifically, around his addiction - but i don't ever really agree with the solution to engaging with that kind of writing to be "let's just pretend it didn't happen". how do we recontextualise what he did? how do we rewrite it so that he still retains complexity without putting off awful implications about addicts as a whole? (and the easiest solution to me, here, would be to parallel him to someone like keran - who, unlike samson, willingly left the order and will willingly go through lyrium withdrawal and have to deal with that, when it's made clear his entire household was depending on his templar paycheck for survival.)

and like. i promise you, i really think you can just. like samson. and he can be kind of morally ambigious and morally grey and you can still just enjoy him as a character and still feel a great lot of sympathy and love for his situation regardless. you don't need to sand off his edges to make him more palatable to me - what's important is that you enjoy him as a character. and that's fine? i certainly don't think you're an irl piece of shit for enjoying him as a fictional character? i certainly still think he's interesting? i only indicated that my opinions around aspects of his character had changed/evolved? so like? go ahead and enjoy him???

[houseaeducan]

I never posted this on AO3 bc I wanted to rework some of it and never ended up doing it, but I like enough of it to post here. Basically - DA2 The Boys AU. I wrote when I was watching The Boys for the for the first time (still haven’t seen the new season RIP)

Summary: Hawke has been the best partner Fenris has had in years, aside from one thing: he insists on working with supes.

Hawke goes over the plan again, but Fenris knows everything he needs to. He’s trying to keep focused, to stay ice cold and exact. If there’s ever been a time he couldn’t afford to fuck up, it would be now. Hawke takes another look out the van window and says in a low voice, leaning slightly to the side in that way people do when they’re speaking into an earpiece, “Bela?”

“Quiet, sweet thing.” Her voice comes crackling into Fenris’ ear as well. “Any second now.” There’s a thump, some rustling, a long minute, and then – on the end of the table, the computer lights up, dim gray rectangles of mild movement. The security footage. Must be for nearly every room in the compound.

Hawke laughs at this, an infectious sort of excitement that feels a bit like victory before they’ve even started. “I could kiss you.”

“Hmmm,” Isabela says, pleased with herself. “Maybe later.”

“Cute.” Varric pulls the computer into his lap, eyes scanning the screen. In an upper corner, Fenris can just make out Isabela, tucked away in some tiny security office, feet already kicked up on the desk, over the body of whoever was there when she broke in. “But if any of us are going to be kissing each other, then we better get moving now.”

Hawke nods. He slings his guns over his shoulder, and Fenris, of course already armed, finds himself adjusting his. “Right,” he says. “Merrill and I will take the lower entrance after Bela fucks with the lights.” He nods to Fenris. “Then it should be a straight shot through at the top. I think we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum, at least until we’ve grabbed the V and you’ve dealt with Danarius. But Anders, I need you backing him up just in case.” Next to Hawke, Anders rolls his eyes – this part of the plan is bad, everyone knows it, especially Fenris. Unfortunately, it might also be necessary.

As everyone prepares to move on, Fenris can hear Anders muttering to Hawke, low enough to be a whisper without the intent of one. “He’s just going to kill him and leave as soon as he gets what he wants.” Hawke replies, “He wants the same thing as us.”

–

This isn’t the first Vought facility Fenris has snuck his way into. There have been years of this – or at least something like this. Years of failure, dead ends, a hopeless searching he struggled to put a name to. There had been other partners – good ones, shitty ones, dead ones mostly. Hawke had been the best, lasted the longest, brought him the closest to justice he had felt in a long time. It’s why he’s stuck with him all these years, even when they fight, even when he makes Fenris work with people he can’t stand.

A few paces behind him, Anders glowers at Fenris. He’s holding a handgun, but arming the supe was a moot point on Hawke’s part – Anders is a terrible shot. If they are attacked, then Anders can heal them both while Fenris deals with the problem, and if that’s not enough, then he’ll start doing far more damage with far less control than anything a gun could give him.

His earpiece crackles to life once again. “Hawke and Daisy are in,” Varric says. “Broody, Blondie – I can’t see you.”

“Shit,” Fenris says, “Blindspot? Did we know about this?”

Anders walks forward a few paces and looks up, scanning the ceiling for cameras. “I’m giving you and Isabela a wave, do you see it?”

“Clear as day,” Isabela says pleasantly. “It’s only a few feet, nothing to worry about.”

“And now you’ve given anyone with this footage a full view of your face,” says Fenris. “Lovely.”

“Right,” says Anders. “Because Vought doesn’t already know who we are.”

“Play nice, girls,” says Isabela. “Varric, if you’re all set up, then I’m going to go find Hawke.”

There’s some back and forth as Varric and Isabela coordinate, but Fenris tunes it out. Right now, already so close, just one wrong move away, he needs to be more alert than ever. It’s too quiet up here. Fenris knows that this area is corporate – the real action is downstairs, but that’s no reason for it to stand so empty, even at this hour. He can’t let that stop him, though, not now. Be cautious, not deterred. Danarius is somewhere in this building, and by the night’s end, Fenris will have his revenge and maybe even answers. Or he’ll be dead. Either way, it ends here.

He touches his scarred skin without thinking. It’s painful, but not in any way he hasn’t learned to expect. Anders says, “It’s too quiet.”

It’s taken him long enough to notice, or maybe he’s only just now decided to bring it up. Anders is even more suspicious of Fenris than Fenris is of him.

“It is,” says Fenris. He twists the gun off his shoulder, holding it slightly more at the ready.

“It looks clear enough,” Varric says. “There’s a few guys up ahead, a few doors down, but we knew they’d be there.”

Fenris and Anders exchange an uneasy look, but there’s nothing else to say. For now, Varric is right.

They continue forward quietly, avoiding the guards as well as they might have planned. Fenris is almost glad Anders is his partner on this – if it had been Hawke or Varric or god forbid, Merrill, they might have tried to ask him how he was feeling right now, did he know what he would say to Danarius when he saw him, what he might do. Anders and Fenris have long since given up on any amiability in their relationship, so instead Fenris can concentrate, not on finally confronting the man who ruined his life – he’s had a lifetime for that, nearly two painful decades – but on getting there in the first place.

It goes to shit immediately. Of course. Fenris barely has time to register the first gunshot before the second shot sends a bullet straight at Anders, barely leaving a mark, fucking supes, and Fenris has time to take cover and start shooting.

Their attackers are coming from a door ahead of them, in what Fenris is willing to bet is the cameras’ second blindspot.

“Shit,” Varric says on the other end, “What am I seeing here? Are you being shot at? Broody, are you okay in there?”

“Shot at?” asks Hawke, at the same time Anders says, “Fenris is fine. I’ve been shot, thank you for asking.”

Fenris rolls his eyes – Anders has already healed his already mild scrape – and Hawke crackles briefly on the other end, the sounds of violence just behind him – “Fuck, us too. They knew we were coming.”

There’s no time to worry about Merrill and Hawke, though, and probably little point. Merrill can take control of the blood in someone’s body, make them do what she needs them to as long as they’re in a close enough range. It’s not the most gruesome thing Fenris has seen supes do, at least not the way Merrill uses it, but he thinks it might be his least favorite. He keeps waiting for the day Merrill decides she’s sick of working against her own side.

Fenris makes short enough work of this wave of attackers, with the exception of one, a low-level supe, who sends waves of electricity shooting through the air. This one isn’t dangerous enough to be more than a grunt, and unlike some supes Fenris has dealt with in the past, she does take damage from his bullets, slowly but surely. He knows what Hawke would say if he were here, to leave her to Anders, that there’s a reason why we work with supes, Fenris, but Fenris stays focused in his attack. Fenris has only seen Anders use his non-healing powers a handful of times, but he’s seen enough to not give him any reason to use that ticking time bomb.

The fight long and brutal – Fenris grabs the supe by her hair and crushes her face into the wall, she sends a wave of potent electricity through his leg that Anders is only able to heal just in time to keep it from frying him alive, but eventually, he finishes his work.

One of the attackers is still alive, albeit barely – his heavy breaths moving slower and slower as seconds tick by. Anders grabs him before Fenris can, pushing him against the wall, his hand just under the man’s chin, somewhere between a throttle and a caress. Slowly, the gash across his chest begins to knit together. It’s a familiar sight, though slower than usual – with this, at least, Anders can be very precise.

“How did you know we were coming?” the supe snaps. The man coughs and shakes his head, so Fenris gives him a kick in his healing flesh.

“I don’t know, I don’t know! I swear – they don’t tell us, just–”

“Is Danarius here?” Fenris interrupts. Anders looks at him dangerously. “Is Danarius here, or was this all just a trap?”

“I –” the man sputters out some blood. “He’s here, he’s here. In the control room in the back. He said he wanted to speak with you, after everything you’ve done he, he wanted to –”

Fenris nods at Anders and the supe lets go of the man, the healing ceasing as he slides to the floor. Fenris shoots him one more time for good measure.

Anders is saying something into his headset and Hawke and Varric are responding – Fenris’ thoughts are too loud to hear any of it. Danarius is still here. Danarius is waiting for him. It chills Fenris a bit, when he really thinks about it, but invigorates him more than anything else, that he’s turned himself into something of an even-footed opponent, risen past being one more piece of collateral damage in a long, bloody career. His mother’s life, his sister’s, Fenris’ body had all been dismissed as an unfortunate but worthwhile side effect, but Fenris knew what he had seen the night he had lost everything. It had mattered. It would matter today too.

“Fenris,” Hawke says. “Are you listening? We need to retreat.”

“Pussies,” Isabela says at the same time Varric mutters, “I knew this whole thing was a bad idea.”

Fenris shakes his head. “No,” he says. There’s no question to it. “I came here for a reason.”

“I told you,” Anders says, looking at Fenris but obviously talking to Hawke.

Hawke ignores him. “It’s too dangerous. You won’t get anything done if we all get ourselves killed here. We have to regroup.”

It makes sense, it’s the smart thing to do, and it’s utterly unthinkable. Hawke can make these decisions from a distance, removed but empathetic. He’ll say, “I’m sorry it happened this way, Fenris,” and take too much blame for something that isn’t his fault, that’s no one’s but Danarius’, and for a moment Fenris hates him for it. “You would ask me to leave now? When it’s the only chance I’ll ever have?”

Hawke is replying but Fenris has already pulled out the earpiece, allowing it to fall to the floor with a violent clatter.

“Fenris –” starts Anders.

“Go,” Fenris says. He leans over his gun, reloading before he’s ready to move on.

“You selfish piece of shit. You know he’s not going to leave you.”

Fenris rolls his eyes. He slides the weapon back over his shoulder. “He should leave. This isn’t his business anymore. And so should you.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

But a minute later, after Fenris has moved on, making his way through the compound as silently as possible, still certain he’s being observed, he hears the door open and shut behind him again.

“I told you to go,” he says, frustrated.

“Yeah and Hawke would kill me if I left you without backup,” the supe snaps. “Do you even know where you’re going?”

He doesn’t, but these suddenly empty hallways, the crushing silence around them, is obviously a choice. Fenris nods ahead to a solitary door waiting at the end of the hall. “Forward.”

It only takes them a few moments to make it there. “Hawke ran into some trouble,” Anders says, listening to his earpiece. Fenris regrets throwing his to the ground. It was a childish outburst, not fair to Hawke, who has changed his own plan, the safest plan, to help Fenris now. Embarrassing. “But him and Merrill and Isabela will be here in a few minutes.”

Fenris nods. He needs to back off while they wait, find a place to take cover, but he can’t wrest his eyes away from what’s in front of him. He thinks Anders is about to say something else when the door opens. It is not Danarius.

–

Fenris remembers very little of his sister. This is what he remembers: an apartment – small and shitty, his mother – someone who loved him, his sister – someone he loved. He remembers losing them: his mother falling to the floor, Danarius laughing, Fenris – a child and nearly crushed behind rubble, unable to do anything about it, Varania crushed because he had not been able to save her and because when he had opened his eyes, she had been gone. It had been collateral damage, an unfortunate tragedy, and Fenris too young and too traumatized to know what he had seen.

He knew.

He knew Varania, now, for what little he remembered. He knew that red hair. He had learned to braid on it. He had tied it into pigtails on her first day of school. It was longer now, pulled back, a crimson offset to her white button-down and gray slacks. Very professional. Very Vought.

“Varania,” he says. He feels stupid for it, but what else is there to say?

Anders stares at him, taking hardly any time to look shocked before he looks furious. He thinks that Fenris has known who they’ll find here all this time. Of course he jumps to the most damning option.

“Leto,” says Varania. It’s an old name, one on government papers that Fenris hasn’t used in a very long time. She sounds sad. That’s when the world opens up and falls apart, when the floors turn in on themselves and Fenris is sent crashing down to his knees, on his face, smashed against cold tile. She says again, still sad. “You look like I remember.”

Anders raises his gun – the idiot, what is he going to do, shoot her? – but Fenris glares at him and somehow, that makes him hold his fire.

“You were dead,” he says. The fact that she’s a supe barely registers, but it will later. All of this time – did his mother know? She had to have known, she had to have chosen —

“You assumed,” she says. “You assumed a lot, Leto.”

“Danarius –”

“Took me with him,” she says. “They knew I was a supe, and I was more powerful than they expected. They needed me, needed to work with me, our mother didn’t want to give me up, it was complicated, it – it was easier this way, Leto, necessary. It needed to happen.”

Her words feel like a low tide, washing over Fenris with a meaning he cannot bear to begin to unpack. He wants to say: This never needed to happen. He wants to say: Leave this place. He says, “And you gave yourself to these people? After what they had done?”

She’s angry now; it’s the first time he’s really seen it. “You can’t possibly understand,” she says. “Do you think you’ve suffered? Do you think you’re making a difference? I’ve seen the things you’ve done – things you’ve done to good people, people who were just doing their jobs. You don’t understand the first thing about the way the world works. Staying here, where things really happen, that’s the way things change.”

Her breath hitches when she finishes speaking, and though Fenris is still pulling himself from the ground, face bloody, her hands are shaking.

“You think you’re making a difference in Vought?” It’s Anders, and Fenris could punch him for it. “I’ve been where you are, and if you think they think of us as anything besides a product, as disposable –”

“Maybe you,” says Varania. “I’ve read your file.” She looks at Fenris. “I’m surprised you’re working with supes, from everything I’ve heard.”

“Get out of this place,” he says suddenly. “Leave with me. This doesn’t have to be your future. You know what they did to us.” He means it – he really does. There’ll be time to hate her later, but right now she’s alive, after all this time, after so many years of being alone.

She blinks. He thinks for a moment she might agree. “I can’t, Leto.”

“Varania –” he doesn’t even notice stepping forward until another blast of her powers hits him full force, even more powerful than before, sending him and Anders crushing against the wall. Later, he and Hawke will go over old reports of bodies crumpled like flies with a terrible understanding, but now, Fenris hardly has the time to aim his weapon, firing a round directly into her chest.

She staggers, she sways, she lands upright, hand to her chest, but otherwise unaffected. Anders fires at her – missing once, making it the next time, the time after that, missing again – it gives Fenris just enough time to reload before Varania hits him again.

This time, Fenris thinks he may have hit his head badly. His vision is swimming, his eyes already clouded with blood. He knows Varania can hit him harder than this, though. He knows he’d already be dead if that’s what she meant to do.

“Just come quietly,” she pleads. “It won’t be so bad, it really won’t. You know I don’t want to hurt you, Leto.”

It’s a lie. There’s no way this ends without being hurt. “My name is Fenris,” he says before he shoots his sister and gets ready to die.

Varania steps forward, hands shaking but ready to bring them down with terrible finality, when –

In the moment just before Fenris takes cover, he can still make out Varania’s face in the blue light, outlined with confusion. He doesn’t give himself a moment longer than that before hitting the ground – he knows the supe has no ability to control himself, that everything around him is fair game until he comes to.

That his first instinct is to shield himself is what saves him, because his next is the bizarre compulsion to grab Varania, to protect her like he should have when they were children watching the walls fall in.

This episode of Anders��� doesn’t last long, and though Fenris has been hit some from the fallen debris, he is mostly whole when he comes to. Varania, crushed into the floor, is hardly recognizable, though she looks like the other people Fenris have seen be unfortunate enough to be in the same room as Anders when he loses control. He tries to register her presence there, his sister, what’s happened to her, what didn’t happen all those years ago, and fails. The cold, empty fury in his chest is so devastatingly familiar.

A few yards away, Anders has stopped glowing, stopped distributing uncontrolled violence, crouched over hyperventilating like he isn’t a walking war crime, like he shouldn’t be locked away in some government facility where he can’t do this to anybody else. The supe doesn’t say anything, doesn’t look at Fenris, just stares at what happened to Varania, walks to the other side of the room, and vomits.

When he’s done, he walks back to Fenris, still not saying anything, and lays a hand on his shoulder just long enough to heal. Fenris doesn’t realize how badly it's needed until his wounds have been repaired.

For the first time in as long as Fenris has known the supe, he seems to have nothing to say for him. Finally, mercifully, Hawke and Merrill and Isabela kick in the door, looking like they’ve barely managed their own battles. “What was going on in here?” Hawke asks, out of breath. “Varric said he could see – some kind of –” He looks to what happened to Varania, he looks, worried, to Anders.

“Nothing,” says Fenris. “Danarius isn’t here, it was a dead end.”

He doesn’t know how he must look right now, how he must sound. He just hates the way everyone is looking at him right now.

“Are you alright, Fenris?” Merrill tries.

“I’m perfectly fine,” he says. “Let’s get moving.”

[dgcatanisiri]

Look. I am a firm lover of multimedia franchises. I have all the Dragon Age novels and comics, I have a literal library in my basement that consists heavily of tie-in books for all sorts of things - Star Trek, Star Wars (Legends and Disney), Buffy and Angel, Mass Effect, Dishonored, Dragon Age, Assassin's Creed, Supernatural... I love my tie-ins.

BUT.

If you are only playing the games, your experiences ARE different from those of the people who do that AND read the tie-ins. The Orlesian Civil War began in the books, so going from DA2 to Inquisition, you're just "wait, when did that happen?" Celene and Briala come across initially as star-crossed lovers driven apart by politics, while the Masked Empire makes it clear that Celene was abusive of Briala, dismissive of her hopes of improving the lot of the elves in Orlais, and personally responsible for the deaths of Briala's parents, so where the game presents getting them back together as romantic, the knowledge from the book makes it clear that it's sending a victim back to her abuser.

The way BioWare has handled this so far is to have things happen or explanations come in expanded universe materials - material that, likely, only a portion of the playerbase will ever pick up (over on a Star Trek novel forum I'm on, actual authors bring up the fact that it's only expected that maybe ten percent of those who watch the show are expected to be regular readers of the books, at most - probably a similar percentage here, if not smaller, considering the different expectations for the audience of games versus TV shows). And then, they proceed as if that important information is common knowledge for the players, even though it should be expected that the multimedia elements are not known by everyone.

Multimedia is great for franchises, yes. I love multimedia franchises. But when players are dropping no less than sixty bucks (American) on a game, then the game should be expected to stand on its own, not require you to spend another twenty-ish bucks to get the full story. THAT is the problem here.

CONFESSION:

I don't understand the complaints  about the Dragon Age Novels/Comics, etc.  They are optional content. A great many games have novels. There are   Assassin's Creed books, there are Dishonored Books and World of Warcraft books. The are Final Fantasy novels.  There are Final Fantasy Novels.  Some of the books are superb while others are subpar but one thing they have never done is affect future games. Nobody is forcing you to read them and this may be surprising but some of us do enjoy reading them. And all the books and comics  are eventually summarized online.  Just because you don't like it does not mean they should stop creating them. Get over it and ignore it. 

[lovelybarnes]

requests

request guidelines

how to request:

give me the number and letter sequence attached to the quote/prompt and for who you want it. if you have an idea, let me know and with who! (i tried to make this easy and easier to do, i am so sorry if this didn’t work)

example:  person a painting person b’s nails because they’re hurt and “will you paint my nails? “PF10 + DF56 with bucky barnes please!!”

prompts

fluff

og posts: otp prompts, physical affection prompts

(PF1) person a reading to person b

(PF2) walking home in the rain

(PF3) person a giving person b their coat

(PF4) person a braiding person b’s hair

(PF5) person a learning to braid person b’s hair

(PF6) person a carrying around scrunchies and hair ties for person b

(PF7) person a playing with person b’s hair

(PF8) person a doing person b’s makeup

(PF9) painting each other’s nails

(PF10) person a painting person b’s nails because they’re hurt

(PF11) solving crimes

(PF12) committing crimes

(PF13) baking together

(PF14) cooking together

(PF15) person a bringing person b their favorite drink

(PF16) person a giving person b a stuffed animal and finding them sleeping with it years later

(PF17) person a sleeping with person b’s shirt

(PF18) person a making their pillow smell like person b when they’re away

(PF19) writing each other letters

(PF20) too long hugs

(PF21) person a tugging the bottom of person b’s shirt

(PF22) person a wiping food away from person b’s lips

(PF23) running hugs

(PF24) jumping hugs

(PF25) person a squishing person b’s cheeks

(PF26) person a wiping person b’s tears away

(PF27) person a comforting person b after a nightmare

(PF28) person a lifting person b up out of excitement

(PF29) incredibly loud and painful high five

(PF30) person a accidentally knocking their head into person b’s chin

(PF31) confusing a handshake for a fist bump or hug

(PF32) person a won’t let person b out of bed by cuddling them

(PF33) person a making funny faces until person b notices and laughs

(PF34) person a has a cast, and person b is doodling on it to cheer them up

kiss prompts

og posts: otp prompts, physical affection prompts

(PK1) sleepy kisses

(PK2) head kisses

(PK3) shoulder kisses

(PK4) forehead kisses

(PK5) kisses because of time apart

(PK6) knuckle kisses

(PK7) person a peppering kisses all over person b’s face

(PK8) prize kisses 

(PK9) kissing scars, bruises, scratches, etc.

humor

(PH1) truth serum

(PH2) person a and b stranded on a raft in the middle of a lake

(PH3) person a posts a picture of person b and it becomes a meme

(PH4) person a and b stuck on a ferris wheel

soulmate au prompts

dialogue

fluff

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DF1) “you sleep cute.“

(DF2) “will you marry me?“

(DF3) “marry me.“

(DF4) “you fell asleep, i couldn’t move.“

(DF5) “i wish i could kiss away all your scars.“

(DF6) “i think i’m falling in love with you.“

(DF7) “it’s okay to cry.“

(DF8) “you’re so warm.“

(DF9) “is that my shirt?“

(DF10) “breathe.“

(DF11) “be safe.”

(DF12) “you’re okay.”

(DF13) “you’re safe.”

(DF14) “everything is going to be okay.”

(DF15) “trade with me, yours looks better.”

(DF16) “cuddle with me.”

(DF17) “is that my shirt?”

(DF18) “that looks better on you than on me.”

(DF19) “hands off the merchandise, babe.”

(DF20) “it’s like my boyfriend is a child.”

(DF21) “let me play with your hair.”

(DF22) “your hair is so soft.”

(DF23) “can i braid your hair?”

(DF24) “i learned how to do it for you.”

(DF25) “braid my hair? you do it so much better.”

(DF26) “i missed you so much.”

(DF27) “so what if i’m whipped?”

(DF28) “my mom wants to know when we’re having kids.”

(DF29) “move in with me.”

(DF30) “i think you’re my soulmate.”

(DF31) “maybe if you stop staring at her and actually talk to her, you might have a chance.”

(DF32) “breathe with me.”

(DF33) “did you just call me your boyfriend/girlfriend?”

(DF34) “did you just call me babe?”

(DF35) “they love me?”

(DF36) “are you single?”

(DF37) “are you throwing rocks at my window?”

(DF38) “you are so amazing. i don’t know how i got so lucky.”

(DF39) “is that mine?”

(DF40) “don’t cry!”

(DF41) “are you going to cry? please don’t cry.”

(DF42) “i’m yours.”

(DF43) “you’re mine.”

(DF44) “you have the prettiest eyes.”

(DF45) “you’re my hero.”

(DF46) “you came!”

(DF47) “i hate everyone except you.”

(DF48) “can you just hold me?”

(DF49) “i honestly just wanted to hold your hand.”

(DF50) “i fell in love with you the moment i saw you.”

(DF51) “you’re a goddess and deserve to be treated like one.”

(DF52) “is that a puppy?”

(DF53) “i just need you.”

(DF54) “you’re really cute.”

(DF55) “god, you’re adorable.”

(DF56) “will you paint my nails?”

angst

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DA1) “what is your problem?“

(DA2) “you’re scaring me!”

(DA3) “you’re too late.”

(DA4) “it’s too late.”

(DA5) “sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

(DA6) “you just flinched.”

(DA7) “why did you flinch?”

(DA8) “you can’t save everyone.”

(DA9) “you can’t save me.”

(DA10) “you left me!”

(DA11) “you don’t get to say sorry anymore!”

(DA12) “there’s so much blood.”

(DA13) “you have to make it.”

(DA14) “come back to me.”

(DA15) “choose. them or me.”

(DA16) “are you mad at me?”

(DA17) “you didn’t think about me at all?”

(DA18) “touch me, and i’ll chop your hand off.”

(DA19) “touch her, and i’ll murder you.”

(DA20) “i’m not the bad guy here.”

(DA21) “put down the knife.”

(DA22) “something is wrong.”

(DA23) “i wasn’t enough for you, you made that clear.”

(DA24) “they left me.”

(DA25) “they’re in love with someone else.”

(DA26) “please don’t leave me.”

(DA27) “please don’t take them.”

(DA28) “my parent misses you.”

(DA29) “i got stood up.”

(DA30) “i’m not one of the good guys.”

(DA31) “where did you get those bruises?”

(DA32) “are those bruises?”

humor

og posts: sentence starters, 200 prompts

(DH1) “what the hell did you just drink/eat?“

(DH2) “what the hell did i just drink/eat?”

(DH3) “i don’t think that’s edible.”

(DH4) “everything is edible at least once.”

(DH5) “i don’t think you were supposed to eat that.”

(DH6) “that is... definitely there.”

(DH7) “that sounds like a terrible idea. we should do it.”

(DH8) “how dumb can you be?”

(DH9) “are you drunk?”

(DH10) “don’t smell that!”

(DH11) “that was stupid.”

(DH12) “i didn’t know you could fly,” “i can’t.”

(DH13) “you really don’t know how to talk to girls, do you?”

(DH14) “stop quoting vines.”

(DH15) “if you take my blanket again, i will put my cold feet on you.”

(DH16) “if i act like i care, will this be over faster?”

(DH17) “it’s my natural reaction to stupidity.”

(DH18) “i’m pretty sure i didn’t do it.”

(DH19) “please stop getting shot, it stresses me out.”

(DH20) “when i finish making sure you don’t die, i will kill you.”

(DH21) “do you need a hug or something?”

(DH22) “you’re getting blood all over my carpet!”

(DH23) “i don’t know if i want to kiss you or shove you off a cliff.”

“can i pick?”

(DH24) “are you sure i can’t punch him?”

(DH25) “that has got to be the lamest pick up line ever.”

“does that mean it didn’t work?”

(DH26) “i love you so much, but your cooking is dangerous.”

(DH27) “i think they broke them.”

(DH28) “i think i broke them.”

(DH29) “you are a real pain in my ass.”

(DH30) “right. back to bed with you.”

(DH31) “does my being half- naked not bother you?”

(DH32) “i’m not human. i don’t sleep.”

(DH33) “no! i don’t need your help!” “fine. die.”

(DH36) "april fools!" "it's not april."

neutral (can go either way)

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DN1) “shut up and kiss me.“

(DN2) “you’re going to fall.”

(DN3) “you’re an idiot.”

(DN4) “i don’t want to be alone.”

(DN5) “please stay.”

(DN6) “you’re going to fall.”

(DN7) “do it again.”

(DN8) “i dare you”

(DN9) “you’re so cold.”

(DN10) “don’t leave me.”

(DN11) “it was just a dream.”

(DN12) “i’ll always be here.”

(DN13) “forget it.”

(DN14) “forget i said anything.”

(DN15) “don’t do that!”

(DN16) “can you shut up?”

(DN17) “take my hand.”

(DN18) “hold my hand.”

(DN19) “i lost them”

(DN20) “i can’t find them.”

(DN21) “i’m tired.”

(DN22) “how much of that did you hear?”

(DN23) “did you mean that?”

(DN24) “why did you say that?”

(DN25) “why won’t you let me help?”

(DN26) “will you pretend to date me?”

(DN27) “you’re lying to my face.”

(DN28) “did you think i wouldn’t find out?”

(DN29) “do you trust me?”

(DN30) “stay close to me.”

(DN31) “come with me, i don’t want to go alone.

(DN32) “they stare at you all the time.”

(DN33) “are you crying?”

(DN34) “they were crying because of you.”

(DN35) “stop ignoring me.”

(DN36) “they ambushed me!”

(DN37) “are you jealous?”

(DN38) “what the hell did they do to you?”

(DN39) “how long have you been standing there?”

(DN40) “are you bleeding?”

(DN41) “is that blood?”

(DN42) “what was that noise?”

(DN43) “what did you just say?”

(DN44) “you should sleep.”

masterlist

[timeforelfnonsense]

So this is all my opinions nobody asked for but I thought it might be interesting to share my analysis of Astarion’s character. These are just my thoughts and not canon! The really cool thing about character analysis is that everyone’s reading will be completely different! 

I 100% believe the outcome of the romance will be influenced by the players choices. You can still have very high approval with him when playing agood character (chaotic good at least). my interpretation of his character is someone who has been living in survival mode for so long he doesn’t really know how to be genuine with people. I think you see glimmers of it when he talks about cazador or when you let him drink from you but clearly vulnerability and trust are incredibly hard for him. He’s really only been able to depend on himself for the last 200 years and depending on other people seems to be a sign of weakness to him. If you speak to him after finding out the paladins of Tyr have actually sworn them self to Zariel it triggers this exchange:

Astarion: “I understand they’re a sorry lot, but they’re also not our problem. They made the wrong deal, but they got themselves into that mess they can get themselves out.”

Player: “Don’t you wish someone had helped you when you needed it?”

Astarion: “Don’t you dare to pretend to know what I needed. I survived. On my own. If they can’t do the same they deserve everything they get.”

He has a lot of anger and resentment towards helping people because he feels like he was left out to dry so to speak. He’s built some thick walls and he isn’t going to let them down easily unless you can show him other people can be trusted.  seen a lot of people describe him as manipulative and I definitely think he has the capacity to be but I am perceiving him more as superficial and afraid of real connection with people.

A lot of my feelings about his character and the way he is perceived have to do with my general feelings towards the alignment system in D&D. I think it should be more of a guidance for your characters morals than a hard and fast black and white dichotomy. I have a character who has a lawful evil cleric. She can be nasty and mean and willing to do things that she really shouldn’t do but she can also be very protective and caring of her partner and the people she has begrudgingly called her friends. A lot of the reason she is the way she is is because of trauma she suffered from a young age. It doesn’t excuse the bad things she’s done I wanna make that clear and the same thing goes for a Astarion. I think labeling character is as good or evil can be very limiting. People are complex and don’t fit into boxes.

I truly hope that bg3 will allow his character to grow and not condemn him to an unavoidable unhappy or bitter sweet ending. Because hot take abuse survivors tragic endings in every piece of media really isn’t the vibe (I’m looking at you Andres plotline in DA2). I think it would be very refreshing to see a narrative where someone who has been turned hard by suffering is able to grow and change. Learning from their mistakes and understanding their trauma doesn’t justify any harm they did to others. I’d love to see a survivor learning that it’s OK to let people in and that there are people far kinder and better than their abuser. I want to see him learn to be kinder to himself and to be able to trust other people again. To me that would be much more impactful than yet another angsty betrayal.



[kunstpause-archive]

From this post. 

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

Fans: share bits of trivia from canon and challenge others to create something based on that trivia - fic, art, or something else! 

Because I think we can all use a little distraction and it’s always fun to talk about your creations! ❤ (Also @elveny and I are taking a break from posting this week before starting with part three of our story next Monday, time to talk about the mammoth-project!”)

Some trivia bits about Precipice of Change:

- The actual origin of this story was an idea elveny had in 2016. April 2016 to be more exact was when she came up with the idea of replaying all 3 parts of DA to consciously establish a  coherent “canon” for each of us. We thought the idea would be fun to do it at the same time and it birthed a series of letters that our OCs wrote to each other (with the other OC being the person who stayed home during the adventure respectively). While we were at DA2 there was this moment when we went “oh, what if all those games would actually have two protagonists?” aaaand that’s how the ball started rolling.

We have a shared universe for all three games actually, but when we started seriously writing the story we most wanted to tell together was that of our Hawkes.

- The original setup was... not what it is today! During the playthrough and at the start of our writings (most of them very out of order and unorganised still) both Adriene and Cassia were quite different. The very first version had Cassia actually being a blood mage and Adriene had a much bigger problem with substance abuse in the form of drinking. Both those story elements are completely gone in the final version.

- We started seriously organising and writing the story with a coherent plotline and a clear goal in February 2019

- The original pairings were different too. Funny little side bit: I am actually not a fan of Cullen’s storyarc in the actual games. While playing them I didn’t really like what they sold us as a “redemption arc” in DAI at all. It actually made me kinda dislike the character that I was mostly ambiguous about before. That’s basically why he gets the long and bit by bit character development over the course of the years in Kirkwall. Having him being a part of a main pairing absolutely wasn’t the plan in the beginning. He was barely more than a footnote in the first version. Meanwhile the final version has him being important from chapter 2 on...

- Cassia was originally in a quite antagonistic relationship with Anders that I couldn’t see ever having a happy end. Elveny was the one jokingly writing Cullen having a crush on her into a side-sentence... aaaand we all know what happened there. SHE made me ship it and now I’m in so deep I can’t stop.

Never joke about things in your story people, it’s like speaking plot (or ships) into existence!

- Adriene was always poly and the ot3 with Isabela and Fenris was always planned. But the thing with Anders happened over the course of rewrites and originated in me this time making a joke about how his and Cassia’s relationship could have been doomed to fail bc he was secretly in love with Adriene...

Seriously, that joking thing is precarious!

- We had about 200k words written and were already publishing chapters weekly (we were at chapter 12 or so) when Elveny was at my place for a weekend and we made the biggest joke of all, after a vodka or two, when one of us went “what if Cassia got pregnant before leaving for the deep roads expedition” - and we kept joking around what kind of interesting and slightly hilarious consequences that could have  - and how we would have to “barely change anything”...

At this point we WERE the joke!

An hour and a half we were sitting next to each other on two pcs, furiously typing and the “barely having to change anything” turned into “let’s throw out 150k words and write everything anew...” 

That was the summer of 2019, when we also made our writing blog over at @intothedragonverse​, and since then we’ve written 540k words in total for this DA2 story alone, spanning 2 finished stories and the 3rd one being in progress and getting towards the end-game.

Additionally we’ve published about 15k of one-shots/deleted scenes in the Cut from the same cloth section and last year’s fictober. The story also spawned three modern AU’s so far, a Coffee Shop AU (Cassia & Cullen), a Roommate AU (Adriene & Fenris) and a Crime AU (Cassia & Cullen) and on next Monday we’re going to start posting the final instalment of the main story “Into The Abyss”.

Tagging @jellysharkbat @in-arlathan @kemvee @irlaimsaaralath @barbex @cornfedcryptid @faerieavalon @zuendwinkel @sharkapologists @kittimau @fandomn00blr @wardenari @serial-chillr @deathvalleyqueen @curiousthimble @charlatron @midnightprelude @edencalder @captainderyn @tishinada @anchanted-one @faelavellan

And whomever wants to share some things about the behind the scenes stuff of their writing or art or craft. 

[crossdressingdeath]

My viewpoint is that calling the mage/Templar stuff a conflict is accurate, because... well, it is. A conflict is any serious disagreement, and this definitely qualifies. There's a clear right and wrong here! There is no moral justification for the Templars' position! It doesn't even work as a trolley problem-esque "sacrifice the few to save the many" thing (which frankly could fit the mage situation better than the civil rights thing does, although it's still not ethical to lock people up for being born), because the Templars' treatment of mages creates many more incidents of dangerous blood magic and possession; as far as the games tell us there has never been an incident of mass possession and slaughter on the scale of the events we see in DAO and DA2 among the Dalish, the Avvar, the Chasind, Tevinter, because... well first off they don't shove hundreds of mages into a single building so there aren't hundreds of mages around to be possessed in the first place, but also because they treat their mages with respect and teach them control instead of fear. But it is a conflict, because whether or not something is a conflict has nothing to do with the scale or power levels the two sides are at. My issue is when it's referred to as the mage-Templar war, because a war kind of requires that both sides at least have an army. It's a mage rebellion, which is a conflict but is not a war.

The thing that gets me is that especially DAO and even frequently DA2 do make it pretty clear that... siding with the mages is the heroic thing to do. Siding with the Templars is at best unkind and at worst downright evil. I mean, look at Zevran in Broken Circle outright telling you that siding with the Templars and carrying out the Annulment is committing genocide. You see children at the bottom of the tower, right by the entrance but unable to get out because the Templars—supposedly there for their protection—ran away from their duties and locked the mages in there to die or be turned into abominations. A mage Warden (not sure about the others, I love my Surana so much that I've... never actually gotten to Broken Circle with anyone but him) can express horror and fury at the Annulment being called for before you even go through the door. If you play a mage your prologue is brutal and revolves around first you being forced to fight a demon to prove you deserve to be permitted to live and second your best friend knowing he'll be magically lobotomized for not being skilled enough to win said demon fight and begging you to save him, only for you to potentially learn at the end that the whole situation was largely engineered as a pissing contest between the First Enchanter and Knight-Commander, people who are supposedly there to help you, and if you're not playing a mage that young person (the mage Warden is implied to be one of the younger potential Wardens in their late teens or early twenties) is likely killed as a result of said pissing contest. You've got a former Templar in your party, and Alistair hates the order for the terrible things they do and wasn't given a choice in joining to begin with. Alistair was given to the Chantry against his will and has a limited view of what being a Circle mage entails, but while he does frequently underestimate how bad it is he doesn't once suggest he had it worse even though he actually could claim that on some level he was a prisoner too!

And then the entire point of DA2 is a family of refugees in Kirkwall fighting to protect their surviving mage family member (either Bethany or a mage Hawke) from the Templars as the Templars' abuses get worse and worse. The game shoves Anders's attempts to fight back under the rug and villainizes him for them, but it's definitely not portraying Meredith as heroic. I mean, she has death squads! The phrase "the Tranquil Solution" (a clear reference to the Nazi Final Solution, which is a disgusting reference to use with how the mages are villainized by the narrative for trying to defend themselves in DAI, but I digress) is explicitly used in a plan by one of her subordinates! The Templars openly talk about making mages Tranquil to rape them with impunity! The Gallows are so horrific that even DAI has to admit the Templars there were in the wrong! And if memory serves siding with the Templars gets you a hell of a telling-off from your sibling if they survive to that point; I know Carver at least is disgusted with you, although I can't speak to Bethany (I love mages so much that I've never gotten her to Kirkwall and I never side with the Templars anyway).

And then DAI rolled around, and... all that went away. Suddenly the mages are evil and causing rampant destruction just because. The Templars are suffering, even though they explicitly broke from the Chantry because the Divine actually told them to stop killing people for five minutes while she sorts out all this unrest. The focus is on how the Templars are the real victims because lyrium despite so many of them clearly enjoying the torture they put mages through. And yeah, if a mage does something bad even out of desperation it's a sign that all mages are evil; if a Templar does something bad even just because they want to it's just a single bad apple and the others are good, really. Meanwhile every hero of the age can be a mage and all it changes is that one guy in Haven grudgingly accepts the monarch(s) of Ferelden giving Redcliffe to the rebellion because "one of them saved the world". Even the phrasing of your apostate companions "betraying" you is loaded, because I would argue that only Solas actually betrays the player. Morrigan saves your life with her plan, and at high approval is genuinely offering you this option for that purpose! She benefits, sure, but she also truly wants you to live! Anders blowing up the Chantry has basically nothing to do with Hawke, and frankly there are quite a few Hawkes out there who would absolutely be all for it if there was an option to get Anders to tell you. Anders either doesn't trust Hawke or wants to implicate them as little as possible depending on prior choices; it's not a personal betrayal that he didn't tell Hawke what he was doing in this thing that he didn't intend to cause them any harm even if Hawke disagrees with it!

Basically at the end of the day Bioware seems to genuinely believe in the "some members of this group do bad things and they aren't normal so they should all be locked up" thing, and that's... actually really uncomfortable and I hate it. And yeah, I am also very worried that now that the "both sides" argument has been tried Bioware intends to pit the elves and mages against each other in DA4.

Y'know? I suspect less players would side with the Templars if Bioware didn't hold back the true horror of the Right of Annulment when the player chooses to take part in it. Like... the Templars murder everyone in the Circle down to the youngest child. That's how Annulments work. But as far as I'm aware when the Warden or Hawke sides with the Templars in those "Do you want to help murder all these innocents for the crime of existing in this place that the people wanting to murder them locked them into, or do you want to Not Do That" quests you only face adult mages, abominations, and demons. I get that having to murder children would be... a lot to put in even an M-rated game, I'm not going to pretend I can't see why they didn't do it even before the "Actually the Templars are great and the mages need to stop whining about being imprisoned, tortured, raped, and murdered for being born" retcons in DAI, but can you imagine the impact? You wanted to do it, even in the face of your companions telling you not to. Maybe a couple companions even encouraged you to do it, although in DAO at least I don't think many of them do. But you made this choice; when the Templars asked you to help murder everyone in the Circle, you said yes. Now you have to face the fact that when they said everyone they meant everyone, from the oldest Senior Enchanter to the youngest apprentice. Hey, you thought this was the right call! You thought the whole population of the Circle should be put down based on the actions of people barely connected to them if at all! So now put these screaming children to the sword as they beg you to stop because that's what the Templars told you to do. That's what you wanted, right?

Even showing the bodies of the young apprentices of the Circle would've been an excellent gut punch if the player chose to help the Templars; you could explain that as the Templars thinking maybe the people assisting them would change their minds if they had to murder children while still giving the player a glimpse of what an evil thing they're willingly taking part in. Much like how if you choose to abandon Redcliffe to its fate in DAO you then have to fight your way through the wreckage to get to the castle, I feel like the real fallout of the Annulment, which for the first two games is treated as an evil act (even when treating Anders like a monster Meredith moving to kill the population of the Circle using his actions as an excuse is treated like a horrific thing to do), would be so much more effective if the players actually had the full horror of it shoved in their faces as a punishment for choosing to take part.

[felassanis]

The blatant Anders rivalry when it comes to any of Hawke’s romances.

I will mainly be talking about a Hawke who romanced Fenris, because that is literally the only guy I ever romance. Therefore, I have witnessed the behaviour Ander exhibits from a Fenhawke point of view, I do not mean to ‘demean’ Isabela or Merill but I probably won’t mention them a lot. Other factors are that I am female, therefore I utilise Marian Hawke and I am a mage who is ‘friends’ with everyone. No rivalmance or rivalry with any of the characters. Just putting that out there because I don’t want someone popping into the comments saying ‘BUT THIS HAPPENS WHEN-” Yeah, I know. I have played the game THOROUGHLY and I have watched many videos depicting the choices I did not make.

Anyway, THE BLATANT RIVALRY WITH ANDERS IF YOU DO NOT ROMANCE HIM. It is...amazing. I am not hating on Anders, I absolutely adore Anders. And...I have always believed that he has feelings for your Hawke, especially if you flirt with him. 

The thing with Dragon Age is that it does a good job of not making you feelbad if you flirt with multiple characters nor does it mean that you are locked into a romance upon flirting once with a person. It also does not make you feel bad if you kinda romance a companion but change your mind, you can break it off with a companion and that’s it. The Companion will act like nothing ever happened, as though you have and always were just friends.

Dragon Age 2...does something a bit different. Anders is someone who brings up the romance, and has very clear emotions towards them.

Your companions in all of the games obviously comment on whoever you romanced, but Dragon Age 2 makes A MUCH bigger deal about it than any of the other games. Particularly, with Anders. I truly think that regardless of your choices, Anders has feelings for Hawke. 

My points are:

I am of course, going to bring up the fact that Anders is one of three characters that comment on your romance. Varric, Isabela and Anders comment on who you romance, The thing is Isabela jokes about it, Varric jokes while showing some real concern (You know Varric will make anyone who hurts Hawke fucking hurt 10x more) but Anders gets...a bit bitchy lmao. As you do his companion mission when looking for the ingriedients to ‘seperate him from Justice’ Anders will stop and ask “Are you sure?” about whoever you are romancing. But not in the manner that Varric innocently inquired, Anders inquires like Hawke is dating a 90 year old. “Are you sure?” like hes asking Hawke “Have you lost your mind?!” He purposely stops the crew from going any further just to bring this topic up whereas Varric and Isabela were just chilling at the Hanged Man waiting for you to come to them. 

Then, he goes on to insult whoever you are romancing; even when they are right there. Anders truly has no shame, and often whatever he brings up about the other companion it’s him being hypocritical. Especially with Merill. For Fenris he says, “Surely you want someone more open minded?” And my first thought upon hearing this was ‘are you alluding to yourself?’ because that’s...kind of what his tone implies, he is suggesting they deserve someone better and since he’s the only one who has a problem with whoever Hawke romances it’s safe to assume he is referring to himself. (That’s quite bold of you Anders)

Another thing, after a Bitter Pill and sleeping with Fenris you can actually still flirt with the other companions, and you can engage in Ander’s kiss scene. It’s.... good. I think it adds a lot more conflict to the companion dynamic, especially between Fenris, Hawke and Anders. 

 Anders will go the Amell Estate at night. Here he brings up your romance again (It can either be Isabela or Fenris I’m not sure about Merill) and again, he insults them. Now, he calls Fenris a ‘dog’ and my Hawke always gets defensive and asks that he leaves, saying they cannot do this. Anders will appear hurt (I can’t blame him) and visibly angry. It’s...interesting that Bioware lets you get so far with Anders. You can have that hot make out session (Even tho the noises make me cringe) and be on the verge with sleeping with him. You even get the chance to reject Anders twice before you can initiate the sex scene, once straight off the bat and the next one after he makes his comment on whoever you previously slept with. To which the option goes “I still love him/her” it’s just interesting that Anders gets that treatment, Idk if the other companins get the same treatment, it’s more like you friendzone the other characters rather than directly say ‘I am in love with another’. while the prompt button says ‘I am still in love with her/him” Hawke doesn’t actually say that, they say “Don’t call him that! I’m sorry Anders, we can’t do this!” but...the prompt button is conveying the fact that you can choose to have your Hawke realise their mistake.

“I can’t imagine what Hawke sees in you,” He says to Fenris “I always knew she had some sense,” He says relieved when he realised Fenris and Hawke are currently ‘not together’. (And the fact that Fenris very clearly is wearing Hawke’s token and their family emblem probably fuels Anders need to badger Fenris. As it’s clear Fenris still loves Hawke despite breaking it off, so it gives Anders some fuel I suppose but that’s just a headcanon)

He also acts very proud if you romanced Fenris and then did sleep with Anders. “You were a fool to leave hawke” and he’ll say something about being glad he brought Hawke to him. He just gloats about it. (can we just, relish the fact that people call this ‘Fenris and Anders fighting over Hawke’ but in reality it’s just Fenris being guilty about leaving Hawke and it’s just Anders harping on Fenris, like it’s Anders who’s doing the fighting Fenris is just kind of accepting it? It’s still such good banter, I am a slut for conflict what can I say ;) )

Other factors are kind of miniscule, little tid bits that have connotations to Anders caring about Hawke. It could be seen as just him being a great friend, because he is a good friend, but...I also can see this as Anders just doing it because not only does he care about Hawke but he cares about them so much it is leaning towards a crush. Despite moaning and complaining about the Deep Roads he will go there with Hawke, despite saying how he will NEVER go to Wardens, and despite actively hiding from them if Carver or Bethany are sick he will bring them to the wardens even tho he is being hunted. Because they are Hawke’s family. “You are the one bright light in Kirkwall,” Is also just...a very romantic thing to say and I’m pretty sure he says it regardless if you flirted with him or not.

Anyway, I don’t know if it was intentional. But all of this (to me anyway) not just alludes but confirms that Anders has feelings for Hawke regardless of your choices. I like it, it really adds something to the story in my opinion and to his character. It’s fun to imagine what kind of arguments, conflicts, jealousy and pining went on in the many years that DA2 takes places. It adds more emphasis to how heartbreaking Ander’s end in the story is, with him betraying and lying to Hawke to keep them safe, but ended up making Hawke a damn fugitive in the process. Not his goal I assume, but the reality nevertheless. He makes the woman/man he loved a fugitive, and whoever they fell in love with is also forced to go on the run with them. 

And then in Inquisition, the way Hawke talks about Anders if they did not approve of the Chantry Explosion. Romanced they will say “When someone betrays you like that, it takes a long time to get past it. I don’t know if we ever have” It’s...such good dialogue, but applying that to a Hawke who did not romance Anders...those feelings must still apply just the dfference being Hawke probabaly has no idea where he is. Maybe Hawke prefers it that way. I like to think Hawke can never forgive Anders, perhaps a bit of disdain for their old friend. But, while a part of them prefers not knowing where he is, they deep down hope that he is okay. It’s sad to think that perhaps Anders and Hawke never did reconcile, that they said little to each other before everyone went their seperate ways as the betrayal was still warm (And like Fenris would even let Anders talk to Hawke after all of that lmao)

So, my point is that I think Anders is a hopeless romantic, not-so-secretely pining for Hawke and that it is rather tragic if you don’t romance him. It’s more angsty if you don’t, and that’s why I purposely kiss Anders but call it off because I love Fenris, it adds more to your story and I love that it’s an option that can have consequences. Even tho regardless if you kissed Anders he acts really jealous, if you do kiss him his behaviour makes more sense. 

[buttsonthebeach]

Lost Horizon, Pt. 3

Here we go again folks! @scharoux continues to blow me away with her faith in me as we take Rhaella on this journey!

This long fic picks up almost directly where The Last Game last left off - with Rhaella pregnant and alone in a world where Solas has removed the Veil, despite her attempts to stop him. Rhaella has now escaped Kirkwall (and Solas) with Merrill in tow.

My Ko-Fi || My Commissions

Part One of Lost Horizon can be found here

Part Two of Lost Horizon can be found here

Other pieces about Rhaella I have written include:

1. All Things Green and Growing

2. The Long Road Back

3. The Turning of the Year

3. The Same Kind of Scar (contains explicit content)

4. World Without End (contains explicit content)

5. The Last Game Pt. 1, the Last Game Pt. 2, and the Last Game Pt. 3 (contains explicit content), and the Last Game Pt. 4

Pairing: Rhaella Lavellan x Solas, post-Trespasser

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Other parts of the series contain directly referenced character death for a character from DAI, implied character death for characters from DA2, and general references to death and destruction.

This section contains depictions of childbirth.

********************************

At least they managed to get to the Emerald Graves without any problems.

Rhaella could count that as a blessing.

She cried herself to sleep more often than she didn’t, claimed she needed to take a break from riding because her back was sore when really she wanted to duck behind a tree and sob into her folded arms out of Merrill’s earshot - but at least they’d made it to the Emerald Graves. Beautiful, terrible, full of history. It was oddly soothing to be in a place that outwardly reflected what she inwardly felt, where past and present and heartbreak already collided.

It was not soothing to see so many spirits there.

These were not just the simple wisps that had followed them to Skyhold - these were fully matured spirits that could approach them and speak to them, or command them to go away, as did one spirit of Command as they entered the Graves. 

Spirits with fully formed personalities who might pass on word of two elven women, one of them heavily pregnant, making their way through the Emerald Graves.

“Maybe we shouldn’t stay here after all,” Merrill said as it became apparent that they were everywhere, and not just in one isolated part of the region.

Rhaella felt the tears well up all over again.

She was exhausted.

Exhausted in every way a person could be.

She had ridden hard and hoped hard and tried her best and she still had nothing to show for it but a plan that fell apart every time she tried to stitch it together. She just wanted to be safe. To have space to grieve. To prepare to welcome her son into the world. She couldn’t think of anywhere else they could go. The Exalted Plains were still a blasted wasteland and far too exposed by and large - nowhere really to hide, no safe warren to build her nest - who knew what any Dalish clan there would think of her - she couldn’t go further into the heart of Orlais - there was no time to cross the mountains back into Ferelden -

She was dimly aware that her breath was coming in shorter and faster, that the roaring in her ears had returned. Merrill’s hand was on her shoulder. None of that mattered, none of it could override the terror of how trapped she was.

Then, in a puff of purple smoke, there was Cole, eyes luminous, pale blond hair gleaming in the waning sun.

“Panicked, breaking but not broken - you have been here before and you will be here again and you will always pull through. Be still, friend. I am here to help.”

Cole’s hand went to her other shoulder. Rhaella’s panicked breath began to slow.

“What in the name of all of the Creators -” Merrill murmured. “Where did you come from? Who are you?”

“My brothers and sisters are worrying you,” Cole said, still looking only at Rhaella. “Do not be frightened. They will listen to me. I will tell them what a precious secret you carry, and they will keep it. I am here to help. I am always good at helping, aren’t I?”

Rhaella thought of the cheese and mint, the barrels full of daggers, the honey spilled on windowsills. A compassionate knife easing the pain of the dying. The tightness in her chest receded.

“Yes, Cole. You are.”

“Cole?” Merrill asked, bewildered. “Isn’t that a human name? Are you not a spirit?”

“Am I?” Cole asked, his voice laced with amusement. He had grown somehow since Rhaella saw him last. Perhaps he was more at home now that the Veil was gone, now that he was no longer torn between two worlds.

“Cole is a friend,” Rhaella said finally, rising, one hand on her belly, waiting to feel some movement from her child. When she felt it, the final bit of fear eased. “An old friend at this point, I suppose. He is also a spirit of Compassion.”

“And you knew him from before the Veil fell?” Merrill asked. She reached out and took hold of Cole’s hand. “And he has a body? But he can appear and disappear? I have never heard of such a thing. Are you like Anders and Justice, a spirit and a person sharing the same body?”

“No. I am only me. Only Cole.”

“Fascinating.” She dropped his hand and walked in a quick circle around the two of them.

Cole tilted his head, watching her progress. “Bright, buzzing, beautiful - your mind is full of shining gears. So much more clever than anyone ever gives you credit for. You and I will be friends.”

Merrill laughed - giggled, actually.

“Well, that’s settled then.”

A wave of exhaustion overcame Rhaella even as she smiled. “Cole, do you know somewhere safe for us? Somewhere we can settle in for a long time and remain undetected? We’ll need shelter, room to garden, fresh water…”

Cole nodded slowly. “I think so, yes. I will look, and tell the others not to speak of you.”

With another puff of smoke, he was gone.

“Do you think he can teach us how to do that?” Merrill asked, green eyes wide.

Rhaella snorted and shook her head. She did not have the energy to express it, not with her panic so recently gone and her belly so heavy and her back so sore, but she was grateful that Merrill was capable and intelligent and yet also innocent enough to still find wide-eyed joy in the broken world around them.

Cole returned a short while later and told them to follow him. He led them through the woods to a place where the land rose into two sharp cliffs on either side of them, drawing them down into a gorge. It opened up eventually into an elliptical clearing with trees and shrubs, flat grassy spaces, and a stream that poured through the rock face at the very end of it.

“It’s perfect,” Merrill said, pacing around. “Space enough for us to camp, to keep the animals, to start planting that garden.”

“Only one way in and one way out,” Rhaella said, eyeing the high sides of the cliffs around them. “If someone finds us, we’re trapped here.”

“We’ll set daily wards far enough away from the entrance that we’ll know if someone gets too close. A second layer behind that so we can be certain they’re headed in our direction. That will give us time to prepare to move on.”

Rhaella nodded. The exhaustion felt stronger now that the possibility of rest was so close. She nodded at most things that Merrill said from that point on - about the location of the garden, about the idea of making a small pen for their mounts, about making a lean-to to provide better shelter for them. She nodded and nodded until finally their bedrolls were set up and she could lie down and seek oblivion.

*

Rhaella woke from that oblivion in a flowering field - a clifftop, overlooking waterfalls. She recognized it at once. It was the place she had gone with Solas when he saved her from death in the Crossroads. When they made love for the first time. They had sat here together and talked. It was a beautiful place, if bittersweet now. Bitter because it was yet another place where he left her - sweet because it was the place where their child had been conceived.

She felt the warmth of the sun on her cheeks and tilted her head back and closed her eyes and let herself focus more on the sweetness than the bitterness for a moment. She was going to be a mother soon. Something she had wanted but feared would never happen. She would always have a piece of Solas - of the man she loved still, she could admit that here, surrounded by wildflowers and sunshine - and she was grateful for that. Grateful that it had happened. She breathed in deeply and let the warmth of the thought fill her, crown to toe. 

It spread, tingling all over her skin, warming her back - and then there were arms around her, and the warmth was coming from someone else’s body holding her close.

“Ma vhenan,” he whispered softly.

And that was when Rhaella realized what had happened.

She was in the Fade.

She had gone to sleep without taking Merrill’s draught, without setting her own mental wards through meditation.

The arms around her were Solas’s.

She stiffened in his embrace. She felt his arms loosen. She could stand, escape from his arms. Turn and scream at him. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to be held. To be safe in his embrace, to soak in his warmth, to turn and kiss him. She loved him. You couldn’t hide that kind of thing here in the Fade. It shimmered around you like the haze of a late summer afternoon.

She relaxed and felt him relax in turn, hold her closer. She breathed in the familiar smell of him, felt the beating of his heart, felt how her own ached and sped up at how much she longed for these moments with him still, after everything that happened. She heard him sigh, felt him nuzzle against her hair and breathe her in. She rested her hands on his forearms where they wrapped around her waist and felt tears rise in her eyes at the feeling of her palms on his bare skin, how good it felt. That simple connection that he had broken when he broke the sky open. 

They lingered there like that for a while - how long she could not say, because love and time both felt infinite here - and then he finally spoke.

“Come home.”

That broke the spell.

“No,” Rhaella said. She started gathering her strength so she could wake. Had he been trying to locate her while they held each other? Had he figured out where she was? She couldn’t risk another second longer in his company.

“Rhaella, please -”

She pulled free of his arms but then his hand was on her chin, thumb on her lips, not holding her, not grabbing her, but cupping her. Longing for her. 

She glanced back at Solas over her shoulder then, and it was like looking into the sun. His blue eyes, his freckles, the sharp angles of his face. His grief blinded her.

Ma vhenan, her heart sang back to him, but she did not let the words slip free.

“Come home,” he said again.

“No,” she said, and woke.

*

It was jarring to be back in the grotto with Merrill standing over her. Rhaella could still hear the roar of the waterfall in her ears. Could still smell the wildflowers. Could still smell him, feel him, at her side.

“Are you well?” Merrill asked. “I didn’t want to wake you but you were murmuring and twitching. Did you enter the Fade?”

Rhaella sat up and pressed the heels of her hands hard into her eyes, until her vision danced with spots of color. When she opened them again, and her eyes adjusted, she felt clear of the dream at last.

“Yes,” Rhaella said. “He was there. Solas.”

“Fenedhis. Did he figure out where we are?”

Rhaella thought about it a moment. She thought about the way he’d clung to her, the look on his face when she pulled away, how he kept asking for her to come home. Begging, really.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “I think he was really hoping that I would tell him. Or that I would just agree to come home. I didn’t get the sense that he was using his magic or trying anything covert.”

“He is the Dread Wolf,” Merrill said darkly. “The trickster. We can’t be certain. If you do really want to stay away from him, we have to assume that he would use an opportunity like that to track us. We can’t let you get so exhausted that you forget to take the draught or to guard yourself in the Fade.”

Rhaella imagined it again - the flowers and the water and the breeze and the sunshine and his arms around her. She ran her hands over her belly and imagined he was there with her, rejoicing in the new life they had created together. She imagined him being there when their son was born, the joy in his eyes when he held him.

Then she took all of those feelings and wrapped them carefully in a box and put them away.

“Yes,” she said to Merrill. “We will be more careful. I don’t want him to find us here.”

*

For two weeks, Rhaella and Merrill had space to breathe.

Not much space to breathe, of course - the opening they’d found in this ravine was not large, nor was the grotto in the shelter of the rock where they’d set up their shelter. But it was a sliver of peace in two lives that had not known much peace, especially not in the last several years.

They settled in at once with the practice of two Dalish women who’d been on the move many times before in their lives - arranging shelter while keeping an eye on the prevailing winds, designating latrine space well away from their fresh water supply, ensuring the animals had access to the water but likewise wouldn’t spoil it. And, of course, Rhaella’s favorite task - setting up a garden.

It was the garden that brought Rhaella the greatest peace in those two weeks, even more so than the fact that she no longer spent hours in a saddle, even more than the whisper of wind through the trees rather than the clamor of a city, even more than the fact that she could take a nap whenever she wanted to now. This had always been the thing that centered her, brought her peace. Her fingers in warm, dark earth, coaxing things to grow. It was how she and Solas had first begun to connect after all, wasn’t it? That gully in Crestwood, the blood lotus, their hands meeting in the rain.

Rhaella imagined connecting with her son over these same things. Showing him how to test the moisture in the soil, how to space the seedlings apart, which plants made good bedfellows and which ones didn’t. That was what brought her the most peace. The idea that she could build a life for her baby now, however small, however imperfect.

She was beginning to feel better about the idea of her son arriving soon. She and Merrill had no idea when it would be exactly, of course, but it had to be soon. Rhaella was big as a harvest moon in the autumn sky, heavy and tired every day now, working on the breathing exercises she’d once helped her Keeper teach other women in Clan Lavellan. She hadn’t yet reached the point of despair some women reached, where they became convinced the baby would never come, where the sheer weight of the waiting began to crush them. She didn’t think she would reach that point.

Your father made sure I was ready to wait for things with no idea of when they’d come. Thinking that they would never come.

Merrill was the only one who regularly ventured out of the grotto in those two weeks, mostly for the purposes of hunting. She reported hearing other elves nearby, though she never interacted with them. Some were Dalish, some Orlesian, and still others spoke Elvhen, the kind the two of them had only heard spoken by the likes of Abelas and Solas.

“I can mostly understand them at this point, and it didn’t sound like they were looking for anyone in particular,” Merrill reassured Rhaella. “I think they had just awoken from uthenera. They were trying to understand what happened, and find their way to civilization.”

That eased Rhaella’s tension. She had been vigilant about preventing exhaustion, about meditating before sleep, about taking Merrill’s herbal draughts. She had not entered the Fade since that night that Solas came to her, and she had not been using her magic either. She didn’t like the full feeling that gave her, like snaps of electricity might spring from her hands without her control the way they had when her magic first manifested, but it was a necessary evil for now. Eventually - someday - it would not be like this.

She was going to live forever now, after all. Wasn’t she?

When Rhaella was working in the garden one day and felt the staticky change in the air, she thought it was her overripe mana at first. Then she looked up at the sky, saw the high, billowing clouds in the distance. She took a deep breath and breathed in the metallic smell of oncoming rain.

“There’s going to be a storm,” she called back to Merrill, who was busy with something near their bedrolls, her back turned.

Merrill mimicked her at once - looking to the sky, smelling the air.

“You’re right. A good summer thunderstorm, and a strong one at that. I’ll work on blocking off the entrance to the ravine so the animals can’t escape if they are frightened by the thunder and lightning.”

Merrill tucked away whatever she’d been working on quickly enough that Rhaella felt a pang of confusion and curiosity. She didn’t pry further, though. Merrill had done more than Rhaella had any right to deserve since they escaped Kirkwall.

Then Rhaella felt another pang, not in her chest but lower down, in her belly and back. A tightening like a giant hand had come down and squeezed her whole midsection. The back of her neck prickled and her heart sped up.

Could it be - ?

It was better to just keep busy and keep moving. There was so much to do before the storm came. (Her belly tightened.) She wanted to check the trellises for the plants in the garden and ensure that they were secure. She wanted to wrap the baskets with their provisions in oiled cloth so that if water reached them they would not spoil. (Her belly tightened.) She wanted to move their bedrolls further back into the grotto, under the overhang of rock, and then cast a barrier so none of the elements could reach them. (Her belly tightened.) Could she sustain barriers over the garden and their animals, too? Barriers were simple spells and if she cast them without any particular flare, and cast them quickly, they would not attract anyone to them -

This time when her belly tightened, it stopped Rhaella in her tracks, locking up her breath within her chest. It came with a wave of pain bright and coppery as blood.

“Rhaella? Are you well?” Merrill’s voice broke through and Rhaella could breathe again.

“I am,” she said, even as nervous flutters filled her chest and stomach in the wake of the pain, as she considered what it probably meant.

“You can take a rest,” Merrill said. “I can finish the preparations for the storm.”

Rhaella had only gotten through half of her list. She couldn’t allow Merrill to take on everything else.

Her belly tightened hard when she started over towards their dry goods with the oiled cloth, and her steps slowed to a crawl, until she finally had to concede and stop moving. She felt Merrill watching her even through the pain that came with it, spiraling up her spine.

“Barriers,” Rhaella managed at last, after what felt like an eternity. “Could you help with some barriers? Just to keep the worst of the wind - ” The pain was lingering now, slinking through her body even when the tightness was gone. “Off of the plants and the animals and our provisions.”

“Of course,” Merrill said. “Are you certain you don’t want to rest?”

“Positive,” Rhaella said. If anything she felt the need to move and pace, however slowly she moved. Something was happening in her body, something she’d seen happen to dozens of women before her when she still lived with her clan, but something she still feared to name out loud.

So she did move, continuing over to the dry goods and kneeling down, wrapping each woven basket up in its cloth, pausing when another contraction hit her to rest her forehead on her arms. She could use the word now, she knew what was happening. Her child was on its way, and even just thinking the words filled her with twin tendrils of anxiety and excitement. She knew she should tell Merrill but the clouds were thickening and the chemical smell of rain was picking up and it would break soon, and sometimes this phase of labor went on for hours and hours anyway, and Merrill had already done so much for her -

Her belly squeezed tighter and tighter and pain burst behind her eyes in fractal patterns like lightning, and she leaned against another basket of dry goods and did her best to breathe through it, reminding herself to soften her jaw, to unclench her hands. Tried not to wonder what her baby would look like, if she would see Solas’s eyes looking back at her in a few hours. 

Tried not to think about what was now irrevocable, undeniable - Solas would not be there for the birth of his child.

The sky darkened and their mounts wickered nervously and the wind picked up and Rhaella had just made her way into their sleeping quarters and laid down when the storm burst above them with a crack of thunder and a cascade of rain. Merrill cast her final barrier, sealing them into the grotto with a shimmer of magic light. The rain hit the barrier and flowed over it, almost like a waterfall, so ethereal and lovely that for a moment Rhaella just watched it, heedless of anything else around or within her.

Then - another contraction, so sharp this time she cried out, and a rush of wet between her legs.

“Now then,” Merrill said calmly, appearing at her side. “Don’t you think we ought to discuss the fact that you are having a baby today?”

Rhaella could not help but laugh, however weakly, as the contraction ended. The next one came on quicker, though, and then she was not laughing.

Merrill hummed to herself, barely audible above the sound of the storm outside, as she set about making preparations. She poured water from one of their sealed jugs into the pot they used for cooking and summoned heat into her hands so she could warm it to boiling, even though they always purified it before they put it in the jugs. She laid a large clean cloth beneath Rhaella and neatly folded several others nearby, and unrolled a pack of surgical tools that was part of any good Keeper or First’s pack at all times. Rhaella tried not to look at those. She tried to focus more on the excitement than on the nerves. She was going to meet her child at the end of all of this.

Lightning flashed while Rhaella labored, illuminating the grotto and casting severe shadows everywhere she looked. There was little room to stand and walk but Merrill encouraged her to move through different positions, to sway and rock and do anything she could to distract herself from the pain as it grew, grew, grew. Merrill fed little whispers of magic into her belly, just enough to dull the pain, but every time it seemed to come back stronger. The wind roared outside and her world narrowed down to just how much it hurt, how each hurt was coming faster and faster and stronger and closer together and how there was nothing but pain and the sound of the rain and Merrill’s cool hands soothing her, soft encouraging words that Rhaella could not longer hear or understand. There was only the pain and the present and the feeling that both were neverending - and then, layered on top of it, a sudden terror - the realization that this was real and if the pain ever did end she would be a mother and she wasn’t going to be enough for her son, she knew that already -

“You can do this, Rhaella,” Merrill said over and over again. “You can do this.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I don’t know how to this on my own -”

“You’re going to be just fine, lethallan. You have everything you need within you.”

“But I don’t have him, I don’t have -” Even in the haze of her pain she cut off the thought. No. She didn’t need Solas here. She didn’t need him at all.

“You have made it this far on your own power. You have everything you need, lethallan. I believe in you. All of our ancestors are here with you in this moment, and they are giving you everything you need.”

The next sensation that overpowered her was a deep pressure, a need to push that overwrote the feeling of pain swarming every part of her. She had to, had to, had to push, had to push right now, had to push as hard as she could, had to push even if it was going to break her, and she feared it might, and Merrill wanted her to try sitting up or moving to all fours but she couldn’t do it, not without him -

“Solas!”

The name was torn from her lips, primal as the sound of the storm, and she wished in that moment that he was as powerful as everyone said he was, that he might appear at her side, summoned like a spirit, and take the pain away, tell her he was here, that she was going to be okay.

But he didn’t come, and that was what she really wanted anyway, wasn’t it?

There was no more thought after that, only the pain and the urge to make it stop - and then, finally, one last long hard push, and there was a tiny, squalling, red-haired infant in Merrill’s hands. The pain evaporated and there was only wonder.

“You have a daughter,” Merill said, smiling, exhausted.

A daughter.

Not what she had imagined, expected. But small and perfect and nestled against Rhaella’s bare chest now, squirming and crying and balling up her tiny little fists. Rhaella felt tears of a different sort streaming down her face as she held her there, skin to skin, close as close could be.

“Hello, little one,” she said again and again over the cries as they quieted. “Hello, hello, hello.”

Then her belly tightened again, hard, and the pain and the pressure were back.

“What’s happening?” Rhaella managed as she felt the urge to grit her teeth - to push again.

“The afterbirth, most likely,” Merrill said, though even she was frowning as she felt Rhaella’s belly.

“No, this feels - this feels like what just -” Rhaella’s breath began to quicken again. She held her daughter back out to Merrill. “Take her.”

And just like that, like a nightmare that would not end, like a dam breaking, the pain flooded her all over again, coursing through her body, tearing another scream from her throat. She had to push, push, push again, but her daughter was already here, she wanted to hold her, she wanted this to be done -

And then there was more crying - another infant in Merrill’s hands.

“Creators above,” Merrill murmured, and then looked up, smiling. “You have two daughters.”

Rhaella laid back against the pillows they had arranged behind her, and held out her arms.

Merrill nestled both babies into Rhaella’s arms, and she held them, and studied their fine copper hair, the scrunched red faces. She marveled at how they both curled against her instantly, as if soothed by her presence. Her daughters. She had two daughters. How was she going to feed and care for two babies?

The ‘how’ didn’t matter, actually. She was going to do it. She already loved them both so much that it paralyzed her and gave her wings. She had two daughters.

Merrill checked them over while they cuddled against Rhaella and pronounced that they were both healthy, and that Rhaella herself was in good shape - nothing a little healing magic wouldn’t repair, which Merrill performed quickly. Rhaella wanted to sleep but she didn’t know how she would take her eyes off the two perfect marvels that were now spreading out their limbs, turning their little heads, exploring, suckling at her breasts. She didn’t know how she would ever sleep again when she wanted to memorize the exact slant of their little pointed ears.

“Thank you,” she said to Merrill when she finally remembered that there was a world beyond her two tiny daughters. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for trusting me to be part of this moment,” Merrill said, smiling. She looked worn out too. The storm was still going, though not nearly as intense as before. Rhaella wondered how long she had labored for. “I did have one more gift for you - though in hindsight, it is not enough.”

Merrill went over towards her side of their grotto and rustled around. She returned carrying a small woven cradle. Rhaella thought back to all the times she’d seen her friend working secretively over the last two weeks, hiding things away, and her heart was so full of joy and gratitude that it broke open again, and tears welled out from her eyes.

“I will have to make a second one, but they should both fit for now,” Merrill said, considering.

“I do not deserve your kindness,” Rhaella managed, barely a whisper.

“Of course you do,” Merrill said. “Everyone deserves kindness. And you have done so much for our world. It is the least I can offer in return.”

Rhaella let the tears fall a little longer. One after the other, her daughters fell away from her breasts, calmer now.

“Would you like to hold them?” she offered.

“Always,” Merrill said, arms outstretched. “That’s the best part of helping, isn’t it?”

Merrill smiled and cooed at them and Rhaella watched her and tried to wrap her mind around it all. She’d done it. She’d had twin girls. She’d borne Solas’s children, and he was not there. She had a family now, so many years after the family she’d known had disappeared. It was not exactly how she’d imagined how it would happen - perhaps not even how she’d wanted it to happen - but she’d done it, and she was beginning a new chapter in her life now. A happier one, because these two girls were in it.

“What will you call them?” Merrill asked.

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” Rhaella laughed weakly. “I was convinced I would have a son.”

“That’s a decision for later, then,” Merrill said. “Rest now. I’d say you’ve earned it.”

They settled the girls into their bassinette, and as much as she’d thought she would stay awake forever watching them, Rhaella felt her eyelids growing instantly heavy, her whole body dropping like a stone into sleep, and then there was darkness.

*

When Rhaella woke she was in the field of wildflowers again - the high plateau overlooking the waterfalls. It was peaceful. Lovely. Quiet. Her shoulders and chest felt lighter than they had in years. She tipped her head back and felt the warmth of the sun on her face and let out a long, slow breath. She was going for a walk through this field. She had all the time in the world.

(There was, in the back of her mind, a small prickling, a little spike of doubt like a stubborn weed. But she knew that she deserved this moment. She knew this field was safe.)

The flowers and tall wild grass brushed soft against her fingers as she walked. She breathed in their scent - herbal and sweet and sharp and earthy. There was a river at the other end of the plateau. She’d walk there and let her feet dangle in the water. It had been such a very long time since she rested - really rested - and she had earned this.

(She knew, with all her arcane training, that something was off here - but she did not care.)

The river rushed over a bed of colorful rocks - tans, peaches, browns, creams, all rubbed smooth by eons of running water. Rhaella lifted her skirts and stepped into the river, feeling it pull at her ankles and cool her skin, enjoying the pressure and texture of the rocks against the soles of her feet. She’d been on a long journey, and this was her reprieve. She closed her eyes, and tipped her face up to the sun, and it felt warm enough to banish every winter to come. The sound of the wind through the field and trees filled her soul.

She opened her eyes, and the wolf was there on the other side of the river, looming large and black as the abyss of night.

He sat there on his haunches, and even without the six glowing eyes, she knew him.

Her reprieve was over.

“I’m not in the mood for parlor tricks. What do you want, Fen’Harel?” she said, words sharp as glass.

Smoke blurred the form of the wolf and when it cleared Solas was there, forehead creased with sadness, eyes so blue they pierced her like arrows. There was some pride left in the straightness of his spine - but his shoulders were slumped forward. Not enough that a casual observer would catch it, but enough that she did. She’d struck true and deep with her words.

“I wanted only to observe you for a while. To have the hope that you might look upon me as another part of this scene and not as something you hated.”

Vhenan, why? Why would you smash everything up and then sit and cry amongst the pieces?

“If you didn’t want me to hate you, you shouldn’t have done something so hateful.”

“Please -” he started forward, bare toes touching the river now. “You know it was not an act of hate. You know I wished there was some other way. You know I tried to find another way. But it is done now, and there will be no more secrets or lies between us. I lived a life wrapped up in secrets and I have torn them all away now. I only want you. Our life together. Please -”

Another step forward, and the river lapped around his ankles.

Rhaella did not move.

“You’ve spoken sweetly to me before and brought me only pain afterwards. This is just another one of those times.”

“Vhenan, that is not true. I have meant every sweet word I have ever spoken to you. I mean them now. I cannot keep you safe when you are apart from me like this.”

“You didn’t seem to care if I was safe or not the first time you left me. Why do you care about my safety now when I am the one who left you?”

“Rhaella, you do not know the stakes. The people who are out to find you now - the Evanuris - even you cannot stand before them unaided. And you must think of our child. Come back to me before they arrive, and let me protect you both - let me be the person I have always wanted to be, before all the lies - a man who loves and is loved. Let me be there for my child.”

Rhaella opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment a strong breeze whipped across the plateau, stripping flowers from their stems, bending the trees, bringing with it the scent of water and earth and new life -

And carrying the sound of a crying infant.

Solas went utterly still.

His jaw dropped slowly down.

“Rhaella -” he began, voice hoarse, pleading.

She woke.

*

“Rhaella. Rhaella.”

It wasn’t Solas’s voice that greeted her on waking, but Cole’s. He hovered over her, moon-pale eyes wide and unblinking. Rhaella came back to her body. She was sore and exhausted in ways she had never been, and her breasts were full and tingling, and she remembered it all abruptly.

My daughters. I had my daughters.

They were crying in their bassinette. Her heart leapt at the sound. Nothing on earth could have kept her from them in that moment. Not even the member of their father standing stock still in the river, eyes as wide as if he’d been dealt a killing blow.

Merrill was hovering over the bassinette, hushing them.

“I wanted to let you sleep a little while longer, but it seems they need you,” she said as Rhaella knelt beside her. Rhaella reached into the basket and touched her daughters, one after the other. Their warm full bellies and their soft rosy cheeks and their little balled fists. She reached for one of them, preparing to lift her. She was dimly aware that the storm had passed, that a thin, eerie mist had snaked its way into the grotto. That something felt wrong. But all that mattered was her two little girls, and she was going to care for them, and she wasn’t going to cry over the memory of their father standing there alone, betrayed.

“There is no time,” Cole said, his voice soft and urgent.

“What is it?” Rhaella asked, though her stomach had already dropped into her toes.

The air was too still. Then Merrill’s head jerked up suddenly, like a horse that had heard the snap of a twig. There was no sound - but Merrill was the one who’d placed the wards well outside the ravine. The one who would know if someone was approaching.

Cole straightened slowly, his gaze distant and unfocused, as he followed Merrill’s gaze.

“He is coming,” Cole said.

[felassan]

Some further comments of interest, under a cut due to length (note - DA:D spoilers from/references to the recent leaks under cut):

Mark Darrah: ''Lots of old school DA inside the team''

MD: ''They are committed to quality"

Comment: "I can't wait for the next dragon age" MD: "me neither"

Comment: ''Glad to see you're taking a consult role vs being an EP, it's reassuring in a way they are using you as an asset to follow/honor the game world and story." MD: "I think so"

Comment: ''I've been very careful with my hype for the new DA game but this certainly makes it harder to contain!" MD: ''Hope to keep pushing the hype up… but not TOO much"

Comment: "Sounds like the game is a long ways away if they still need consulting at this stage" MD: "Consultants can do lots of things..."

Comment: ''The fact they're bringing you back this late in the game is not a good sign. Good luck trying to wrangle what I'm sure is by now a massive circus" MD: ''You may be misinterpreting what my role is…''

Comment: "I know companies don't like to talk about it, but I hope that this game supports modding. Or at the very least doesn't restrict them as much as DAI did. If money counting execs need a reason for that feature - point them all at Skyrim." MD: "DAI restrictions were frostbite related more than anything. Likely they will still be there..."

Comment: "In dragon age inquisition there was some elements of destruction “like walls or rock formations getting destroyed when fighting a dragon” you got the feeling “oh shit I am fighting a strong enemy here!” Is it possible to see more of this in coming games?'' MD: ''I'll pass that along''

Comment: ''heard a rumor/speculation that the companion system is gonna be degraded/changed up. Specifically that we'd no longer have the 3 controlable tagalong companions that's been a staple of the games. Hope that's not true. I know you're probably NDA'd to hell but I wanted to ask: any chance players will get to spec as a healer role a la DA2 and Origins? Was disappointed to see the role removed in favor of the barrier/guard system in DAI. And as always, big fan of your contributions to the series.'' MD: ''There are specific reasons for the removal in DAI. I'll pass the concern along.''

Comment: ''I absolutely have to know if world states are going to continue into Dreadwolf. I'm down for gameplay changes, but I hope BioWare knows the franchise identity hinges on World States and quality Story telling through the relationships we create within the game.'' MD: ''I'll pass this question along''

Comment: "My only Dragon Age Dreadwolf question is… can we ask the team to please give us an update trailer or video of some kind on the gameplay? Anything that isn’t another Solas teaser because Solas is no longer new information." MD: "I will pass that along."

Comment: ''Definitely agree with someone's comment here, I grew very attached to Dragon Age The Last Court, and would be immensely grateful if you could let the team know we'd love to have it back to life in some way, or get to see/interact with Serault and our Marquise again" MD: ''I'll pass this along. As I recall there was an issue with privacy and the thing violating EU law...''

Comment: "Could you possibly mention the idea of making a simplified Trespasser into a standalone experience." MD: ''I’ll pass it along (but yeah, probably not)"

Comment: "David Gaider is also a goat, it's a shame he's no longer there" MD: ''Dave’s got stuff to do''

Comment: ''We will have to wait for the game to be released in 2025, this is at best, as I understand it, because Bioware has not shown anything useful recently. They have a bad relationship with their audience.'' MD: ''Better to wait until they are ready''

Comment: ''Hopefully they start sharing some info with us" MD: "There have been the dev blogs…''

Comment: "I want to speak for my fellow CN BioWare fans, our big problem here is lack of the language support, I know about the Jade Empire's situation, and it is clear you know more about this, but things are different now, You can refer to other ea games, It's not easy for these fans to stick around for so many years, we really need Chinese in the next DA game, please!'' MD: ''There was a Chinese language version on DAI as I recall. Though maybe it was region locked."

Comment: ''If there’s anything I want I really hope they would remaster or even release the 1&2 dragon age so i can play them on playstation 4/5'' MD: "Maybe some day…"

[source]

Quick compilation of interesting comments/comment exchanges from Mark Darrah and folks commenting on his most recent YouTube video, "Mark Darrah back on Dragon Age: Dreadwolf?!" (under a cut due to length) -

[I've loosely organized these into related clumps of comments.]

General thoughts and feelings about the game & its development

Comment: "Well this is a relief. Glad to have a DA veteran looking at this project." MD: "There are lots of veterans on the team"

MD: "I'm helping. The team is very strong" / "There is a strong team there." / "There are lots of strong devs on the team" / "I have great faith in the team" / "I have confidence in the team" / "I have confidence in this team"

MD: "Excited to see how things are progressing" / "Excited to see what the team has been up to." / "Excited to see what the team has cooked up." / "Excited to see how it is coming along" / "Excited to see how things are going"

Comment: "please save DA" MD: "I don't think it needs saving" / "I’m an amplifier not a saviour" / "I'm not worried about Dreadwolf" / "I have every confidence in the state of the game." / "I have high hopes"

Comment: "Please fix that game" MD: "I wouldn't say that its broken..."

Comment: "Can’t wait to see what this game becomes." MD: "You and me both!"

Comment: "This is an interesting development, can't wait to see the final product." MD: "You and me both"

Comment: "Is this a good of bad news? :D" MD: "Good I hope"

Comment: "It must've felt good when they approached you for help! It's definitely a positive sign as well." MD: "I think so too!"

More details on his role, what it will entail and where the game is currently at

MD: "As I mentioned in a previous video, I do consulting now. I did reach out to BioWare first" / "I reached out a while ago to offer my services. I don't expect I will ever be a 'face' for Dragon Age: Dreadwolf."

Comment: "Does this mean that the current bioware lead execs can overlook your advice as consultant?" MD: "Anyone can ignore anyone's advice. See: https://youtu.be/yWPaiWAotwo"

MD: "Game can be played start to back. Still lots to do."

Comment: "Wishing you the best of luck in steering the ship on the game." MD: "My hands aren't directly on the wheel."

Comment: "Hope you will or are happy about what you see that the team has worked on." MD: "I'll see a lot pretty soon."

Comment: "Isn’t it a little too late for that? I mean, if the conclusion is that the game isn’t respectful, will BioWare change huge chunks of the story?" MD: "They are very focused on quality"

Comment: "From your words it seems like Dreadwolf somehow doesn't quite feel like a Dragon Age game and you're coming in to make it feel like one. It should be a great game in it's alpha state, with new ideas etc but somehow people who played it feel like it's at least slightly disconnected from the franchise as a whole. Am I correct? I understand if you don't want to reply since confirmation of that could open the door to negative rumours about the game." MD: "That would be overstating... But its been a long time so it both needs to change and stay the same"

Comment: "I'd love to know what specifically you can do at this point in development, since I assume the game is largely content locked at this point (this might make a good video?)." MD: "Not content lock yet. Firm not locked"

Comment: "Not sure if you can answer this but considering how far along the development of Dreadwolf supposedly is, assumably there isn't going be like major changes to the game's systems and such. So are you consulting them more about lore aspects and whatnot?" MD: "Lore and landing"

Comment: "Has the dragon age team ever done something like this in the past? MD: "We have brought back people late stage before"

Comment: "so essentially.. they had no idea what they were doing and where like 'should we call mark? lets just call mark' 'urgh.. yeah lets. might as well' XD" MD: "Nothing so dramatic as that"

Comment: "I honestly assumed that you were already censoring yourself in regards to Dreadwolf out of respect for your former coworkers." MD: "To some degree I expect this is true."

Comment: "So glad that some deal about collaboration between you and BW has been struck. And I hope the game will benefit from your input, though I do admit I am on the fence about what the leaks have shown, did not look much like any RPG people liking BW content are used to (I hope I am wrong about that)" MD: "Hopefully they can convince you"

Soon™ and after

Comment: "I have real concerns of what is being shared about the gameplay style. Hopefully we get some clarification in upcoming bioware show and tells for expos and trailers" MD: "I expect more to be shared soonish"

Comment: "I hope to see some decent trailers this year. We haven't seen those since 2020!" MD: "We shall see"

Comment: "Can't wait to see more (when you are allowed to talk about it!)" MD: "I'll share what I can"

Comment: "You're still going to be careful about what you tell us, for a while. Totally understandable" MD: "Definitely won't become the all "Dragon Age: Dreadwolf" channel"

Comment: "I realize there's always going to be some things you can't speak about, but I hope that after the game is out and your involvement is completed, you can speak about some of your experiences coming back to work as a consultant vs. executive producer and how/if it shapes your thought and approach towards your contributions to the game and team." MD: "i hope to do this. after"

Questions, feedback and things to pass on to the team

Comment: "I know a lot of the fandom is wondering if there will be more BIPOC and body-type representation in character generation. It would ease a lot of concern if there was an indication that the game does indeed include that representation." MD: "I'll pass this along"

Comment: "Will Dragon Age Keep be supported going forward? Also will we get any recaps of important events from previous games at the start of this one? Also will this be more actioney or more strategic than Inquisition? Dragon Age: Origins is still my favourite for combat and general gameplay, but I appreciate if y'all are going more actioney these days like Final Fantasy, if it's the actioney route though I wonder if you guys could do some gameplay like the old THIEF games for some Rogue quests, that would be hella cool." MD: "I'll pass these along"

Comment: "If you’ll be passing along something to BioWare, I’d be interested to know if the Orlesian Warden-Commander exists as a character in the world. We hear about the The HoF, but nothing from the Warden-Commander. And not being able to port your save into DA: Awakening with a dead HoF, makes me question how canon they actually are. Along with not being able to define them in the Keep." MD: "I'll pass along the question"

Comment: "Now that you have the ear of the project leads I have a small suggestion: It would be great if in DA:D when you hover over a dialogue choice the game would tell you what you are about to say (at least the first sentence) in form of a "subtitle". Deus Ex: Mankind Divided does this for example. Other than that I wish you and the team the best!" MD: "Nice idea"

Comment: "Is Mike Laidlaw going throw two cents as well" MD: "He's too busy"

Comment: "I hope Gaider will come back too." MD: "That seems unlikely"

Comment: "It's a BIOWARE game. Characters and story comes first."" MD: "CHARACTERS CHARACTERS CHARACTERS"

Anthem

Comment: "I hope it's not the same situation as Anthem. :/" MD: "Definitely not"

Comment: "Game has been in the oven for what?, a decade now. I hope it turns out great, but I feel like it will be kinda a mesh with all the iterations and people involved." MD: "Depends on how you count the reboot to pull people to Anthem"

On a possible/requested DA:O remaster

Comment: "you should suggest that it would be a smart move to remaster Dragon Age trilogy like ME Legendary edition" MD: "I don’t think the people that would green light a remaster are listening to be"

Comment: "Get them to remaster DAO ....please. :)" MD: "I'll try"

Comment: " Please consider making a DA remake. I literally pray for this everyday. I hope this reaches you Bioware." MD: "Here's hoping"

Other

Comment: "I don't know how much you can answer this, but I've always been curious: How did you guys manage to come up with the Solas plot twist when making Inquisition? Heck, how'd you guys come up with the character of Solas, period? Whose idea was it, how did you develop it into the absolute masterpiece that culminated in Trespasser?" MD: "I don't actually KNOW the answer to that"

Comment: "It's not about DA:D per se, but please let the team know we still love Dragon Age: The Last Court and hope it can live on in some way MD: "err. I think there are some legal issues in Europe with that..."

[source]

[beautiesandheadcanons]

I've been planning this post for a while, but just haven't had a chance to sit down and compose it until now, so here we go! Also, my spell-checker absolutely hates me now, so you’re welcome.

This week, I wanted to talk about one of the most intriguing and unique races of Dragon Age. Other games, of course, have Elves and Dwarves a plenty, but the Qunari stand out as being a creation all of their own. While they may bear passing resemblances to other fantasy races (and even those are few and far between, from my person experience) between their looks, their language, and their culture, it makes for a complete experience separate from any other mythos.

The word "Qunari" is an interesting word in and of itself, because while most use it in general to refer to the race of grey-skinned, horned giants, it's only translated to mean "People of the Qun", and as a result there are those who are Qunari in race but don't follow the Qun's philosophy, and there are others who are not of the race but who convert to the Qun (they are typically referred to as Viddathari). Those of the race who are born outside the Qun's influence are known as Vashoth ("grey ones"), while those who rebel are known as Tal-Vashoth ("true grey ones"). Vashoth and Tal-Vashoth are terms that, in game, are used pretty interchangeably, but in experience there is a difference. Tal-Vashoth are rebels, usually fighting directly against the Qunari, while Vashoth simply exist outside of it.

The Qunari as a race descended from an unknown race of people known as Kossith, which predate the Qun philosophy. There was a settlement of them in the Korcari Wilds in southern Thedas, but they were overrun by darkspawn during the First Blight (and it's assumed the darkspawn's contact with them is what lead to the creation of ogres). While there is no records of what they looked like in relation to modern Qunari, it is said that they are different, not just in society. Why there was a split from Kossith to Qunari isn't completely clear (and possibly is shrouded in secrets for the purpose of propaganda, though that's just my personal opinion). What is known is that a Kossith philosopher, Ashkaari Koslun, developed a school of thought that became the basis of the Qun, the laws and guide that set down the rules of society for the Qunari, which is wildly different than any other in Thedas. Qunari do not marry or have families, but are bred and the children are raised and brought up in groups by Tamassrans. These Tamassrans also educate them and help to designate their roles in the society, which they are expected to fulfill to the letter. However, they don't see themselves as limited in their roles, they believe that from birth they are given a purpose in their nature and their lives are spent fulfilling that nature. To rebel against their nature is to rebel against order, is to become Tal-Vashoth, is to fall to chaos. Whenever they have led campaigns into Thedas for the purpose of conquering, they see themselves as liberators bringing the Qun to free them from their torment.

Their naming practices are the most unique in the game, because strictly speaking, Qunari don't have names in the traditional sense. They are assigned a series of numbers at birth - similar to a social security number of sorts - and their "name" is simply their profession. And, since their profession can change over time, with promotions and such (especially in, say, the military) then their "names" change as well (more on that later, as there is an interesting specific example).

Magic is seen as dangerous, and they treat mages far more severely than even the Chantry in southern Thedas (which, considering how abusive some Circles were, should tell you how seriously they treat it). Qunari mages are named Saarebas ("dangerous thing"), and their lips are sewn shut, their horns cut off, they are collared and shackled, and they are kept under strict control by a special soldier named Arvaarad ("holds back evil"). If at any point a Saarebas is separated from their Arvaarad, they are executed upon return because the danger that they have been possessed in the meantime is too great to them to risk. In Dragon Age 2, when Hawke escorts a lone Saarebas, if they fight for them then they are referred to as Basvaarad, a non-Qunari who controls a Saarebas (since "bas" is the Qunlat word for non-Qunari).

Physically, they are known as giants for a reason, since they stand taller than any other race in Thedas. While they commonly have grey skin and are usually called as such, their actual skin tone can vary, but is usually darker, like variations of gold or bronze (or even other colours, potentially, as we see in Inquisition). Most Qunari seem predisposed to having white hair, but that's by no means across the board. Their ears are pointed, but smaller than an Elf's ear typically is, and obviously their most prominent feature is their horns, which vary from Qunari to Qunari. Said horns have no nerves, so if they're damaged or even removed, that causes no problems. The horns are said to get irritated in some way (possibly itchy due to growth, at least that's my headcanon) and so they've developed a balm for themselves (otherwise I like to imagine a large, hulking Qunari rubbing their horns against a tree like a deer to relieve the sensation). However, not all born Qunari develop horns, and it seems the chances of that happening are akin to red hair occurring naturally in humans for us. Instead of being shunned or shamed, however, those without horns are revered as special and usually given high-ranking, prestigious roles in their society. For a race that is large and imposing and who typically sport horns, for them, not having horns is seen as scary or dangerous. This is the reason that Saarebas have their horns removed, as an indication of the danger they possess. In fact, the first Qunari we get to meet in the game is hornless, and if recruited, can become quite the powerhouse companion for the Warden.

In the first Dragon Age game, Origins, the first Qunari we get to encounter is Sten (which, again, is his title more than his name). He can be found locked in a cage in Lothering, imprisoned for slaughtering a family after waking up post-battle to find his sword missing (a shameful crime for a Qunari warrior, the consequence for which is execution). The Warden can free him or leave him to die, but there is no reason to leave a perfectly capable powerhouse warrior behind. He is very blunt, to the point, and obviously military born and bred from childhood. He is even puzzled by female-identifying fighters amoungst the group, as for Qunari society, warriors are male only (female Qunari who are adept at fighting are known as Aqun-Athlok, and enter the warrior caste as males and identify as such, since gender is a secondary trait that is considered less important than their duty to the Qun; again, Sten is obviously a fighter and not a philosopher and isn't as flexible in his thinking). Sten's personal quest involves retrieving his sword, which means after the Blight is over and he leaves the Warden's side, he can return to Qunari society without shame. If the Warden has a high enough approval, he'll even refer to them as "Kadan", a term normally associated in later games with a romantic connotation, but which simply means "where the heart lies" and can technically refer to close friends as well as a romance partner.

In Dragon Age 2, there are no Qunari companions, but there is a group of Qunari stranded in Kirkwall that is interacted with several times. They are headed by the Arishok, the general military leader for the Qunari people. At first, their staying there is chalked up to them waiting for a ship to come for them, however it's later revealed that the real reason they haven't left is because they have lost the Tome of Koslun and cannot return without it (which, surprise surprise, Hawke's pirate companion is involved in its theft). The Arishok, like Sten, is stoic and rigid and uncaring for the plight of Kirkwall itself. After spending a few years there, however, the chaos becomes too much for Arishok to handle and he leads his Qunari on a campaign through the city, executing the Viscount in front of the nobles and confronting Hawke, the protagonist of DA2. Hawke has a couple of ways of dealing with him, which include giving back the Tome of Koslun (which means giving up Isabella, the companion involved in its theft), they can fight Arishok and his company, or if Hawke has done enough to earn his favour as "basalit-an" (an outsider worthy of respect) or if Fenris is in the group, the Arishok can be encouraged to settle the matter in a duel one-on-one with Hawke. The duel itself is difficult, especially for squishier characters like mages, but from personal experience, a little strategy and patience can net a win over the Arishok, killing him and ending the Qunari hold on the city. Even if Arishok is given the tome and Isabella and leaves peacefully, however, Isabella later escapes with the Tome again and when he returns to the Qunari homeland of Par Vollen, he faces a court martial and is removed from his role as Arishok.

The interesting bit is, however Arishok is removed from his position, Sten from the previous game is given the role of Arishok, thus changing his name from Sten to Arishok. This can create a little confusion sometimes in referring to the characters, because Sten is no longer Sten at all and to Qunari he is Arishok only. As a result, in talking about him, the fandom has varied ways of referring to him. Some stick to more lore-friendly names - as in the Arishok post 9:34 (the year he was made Arishok), New Arishok, the Hornless Arishok - and others either make an amalgamation of the names such as Aristen or Stenishok, and others will just give him a nickname of their own to personally refer to him. We even get to see him as Arishok in the lovely comic “Dragon Age: Those Who Speak”, and I gotta say, he looks much better with the facial hair. 

In Inquisition, we get the first chance to not only romance a Qunari companion, but also play as a Qunari! If one chooses to play as the Qunari race, they are technically Qunari who were born outside the Qun are Vashoth (though the game keeps referring to them as Tal-Vashoth, as if they rebelled and rejected the Qun). Their default last name is Adaar, which means "weapon", which our lovely Qunari companion comments on appreciatively. As a Qunari, the class options are the same as most races, and the player can be a warrior, a mage, or a rogue, though Solas and Cullen are excluded from their romance options (Cullen is locked for female humans and Elves only, Solas is the most restrictive with female Elves only). There are also unique dialogue options that can both be selected and that can be heard both in direct conversation and in passing … and not all of it is friendly and accepting. I currently have two Qunari Inquisitors that I play with, one a female rogue assassin named Katari (in Qunlat, "one who brings death"), and the other a male mage necromancer named Talan (in Qunlat, "truth").

The Iron Bull, I admit, is the whole reason I bought Inquisition first, because I wanted to romance him. When the player meets him, he is heading a mercenary band called The Bull's Chargers. While he appears to initially be Vashoth or Tal-Vashoth, in truth he works as a spy for the Ben-Hassrath, an arm of Qunari society that act as enforces and protectors of their law and also disseminates information and even sends assassins. The Iron Bull is not his "name" under the Qun (he's known as Hissrad to them, "keeper of illusions" or, colloquially, "liar") and is simply a name he took for himself when sent to spy in southern Thedas. To his credit, he is upfront with the Inquisitor about this, and passes on information from the Qunari along with sending information back to them. As mentioned, he can be romanced, and race and gender does not matter to him. If the Inquisitor doesn't romance him or Dorian, however, and their party banter reaches a certain point, the game will put The Bull and Dorian in a romance of their own (known to fans as "Adoribull"). His personal quest involves a mission given by the Qunari to stop a shipment of red lyrium. At a critical point, the Inquisitor will have to make a decision to either sacrifice The Chargers and forge an alliance with the Qunari, or to save The Chargers and forgo the alliance. This has a large impact on his character, as if his company is saved, he is branded as Tal-Vashoth and he is expelled from the Qun and everything he knows, but if his company is sacrificed, he becomes even more loyal to the Qun. In game, only a few dialogue and cutscenes are different, but in the DLC Trespasser, if The Bull is Qun-loyal or if his quest wasn't done at all, then he will turn on the Inquisitor and the player will have no choice but to kill him, even if they are in a romance.

With Dragon Age 4 being hinted to take place in/near/around Tevinter (who is in a constant slap-fight of a war against the Qunari) it's my hope that we get more of a peek into both of these cultures that we don't get much of a glimpse of in game. While their society and how they work and function is far from perfect, I find it's an interesting juxtaposition from the other cultures present in Thedas, and thus a refreshing change of pace from a lore perspective. I also hope that the Qunari remains a playable race, as while I prefer playing as an Elf, being a tall, imposing Qunari is a lot of fun, too.