#to be clear I���m talking about platonic love here

[theplumsoldier]

confession o'clock

summary: you ask eddie why the two of you have never tried dating

pairing: eddie diaz x f!reader

word count: 3,2k

warnings: alcohol, vulgar language, friends to lovers dynamic 18+ MDNI; unprotected sex, oral post sex (m!receiving), cum-eating, dirty talk, riding cowboi cock, creampie.

It was half past eight when you showed up at Eddie's doorstep in a flattering maroon silk dress with an equally tempting bottle of wine in your hand. His heart lurched, and he had to awkwardly scratch his stubble to hide his jaw dropping. You offered a kittenish smirk and held up the bottle, tilting your head in question.

He couldn't help but chuckle, opening the door wider, an invitation for you to unwind in the comforts of his home. “I take it the date didn't go well?”

“I don't know what you're talking about—I got a free bottle of wine,” you shrugged, wiggling your brows playfully as you stepped inside.

Eddie snickered and accepted it, closing the door behind you, and went into the kitchen as you slipped out of your heels with a grunt.

He poured two glasses and noticed the rim of lip gloss around the mouth of the flask, and an image of your lips around it drew itself in his mind. Eddie inhaled sharply, cursing himself for still thinking about you like this—at some point, he would have to get over you, right?

“So you uh—you wanna do disaster control or where’re we at?” he asked, bringing the glasses to where you sat on the couch.

You scooped your legs up under you and thanked him, running your hand through your hair and leaning your cheek against your palm. “God, no,” you snorted and took a sip of the wine, then leaned back contentedly. “I just wanna stay right here with my best friend, drink three hundred dollar wine, and watch whatever this is.”

Eddie chuckled and got settled on the other side of the couch, hanging his heavy arm over the backrest. You wanted to find comfort in it, have it around your shoulders, but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable—you just couldn't help the urge. Eddie always made you feel safe.

Although they were rare, you treasured these nights with Eddie. When you had told him about your upcoming date, he had been quick to inform you that Christopher was at a sleepover and that he was off duty so in case something went awry (as he had come to know was often the case when you cherry picked strangers from a dating app) you were welcome to come over. You had called him old-fashioned for steering clear of online dating, but it was hard to feel like he was missing out when all you seemed to get out of it was obnoxious guys wasting your time.

He was in a phase in his life where he had subconsciously decided dating wasn't for him. With all his time spent at the firehouse and with friends and family, there was little left to really do anything. He was convinced he had all he needed in his life to be happy. Not everything was in the way he would have liked, perhaps, but then again—not every wish could come true.

In the past year or so, Eddie had found himself thinking more and more about your relationship. You had somehow drilled your way so deep into his mind that he had become accustomed to you being a part of his everyday life—even if only in thought. He blamed Buck for the time he commented on how good you looked on New Year's Eve. Eddie watched you for too long and too longingly for his own answer to be nothing but a platonic agreement. Ever since then, not one day had gone by where you were not beautiful in his eyes.

So, a moment such as this one where you were spending your time with him, he really did feel like he had it all. This kind of love, if not romantic, was fulfilling enough for him to be content.

You spoke of everything and nothing, eyes on the screen but not really watching, just being in one another's company, and at some point the bottle was empty and your head was resting against Eddie's shoulder.

“Hey, Eddie?” you muttered, sleepy eyes glued to television. Eddie hummed in response, chest heaving slowly with deep breaths, fingers gently scratching at your scalp. You tilted your head to look up at him, a tired smile on your lips. “Thanks for making today a little less depressing.”

Something flashed across his face—worry, admiration—you couldn't tell before a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Always,” he chuckled and ruffled the crown of your head, turning his drowsy eyes back to the TV.

You giggled and pushed his hand away, though you didn't loosen your grip and draped it over your frame instead, intertwining your fingers, silently admiring him, waiting for a reaction to the close proximity. He didn't seem to notice the change, chest still heaving with deep, content breaths, the remains of his grin still wearing on his features.

Hen’s words from the other night echoed from somewhere in your subconscious. 

“So you and Eddie have never gotten… You know—”

She had wriggled her eyebrows at you. 

“Down and dirty.”

“Hey, Eddie?” you said again, still watching him. He chuckled again before he returned his soft gaze to you. His eyes sparkled, and he replied with another hum. “Why were we never a thing?”

This took him by surprise. You saw it in those deep brown orbs of his before he could shield it. He didn't make any movements that suggested discomfort, though. He spoke calmly, “where's this coming from?”

You shrugged against him, returning your eyes to the screen to avoid his intense gaze. “I don't know, or—I mean… I guess, I just had this conversation with Hen, and it got me thinking—how come we never gave it a shot? I mean, we've known each other for what? Five years? And we've always had fun. We clicked right from the start, and we spend a lot of time together. Like, I know—for me it feels like one of us has always been seeing someone, but at the times where we didn't… Has it never crossed your mind? Us, I mean,” you rambled though you didn't feel as awkward as you figured you must sound. Perhaps it was the mix of wine and exhaustion, but you couldn't find it in you to be particularly embarrassed with Eddie—he made you feel too safe for such a thing. 

Eddie's shoulder heaved with your head, his chest filling with admission he had long considered equal to doomsday of your friendship. “Of course I have.”

When he didn't say anything else, you decided to press the matter. You grinned as you looked up at him. “Well, come on, Eds—humour me. Why have we never tried?”

He studied your expression for a moment before something between a snort and a scoff escaped him. “I guess it's ‘cause we're friends—and I don't want to do anything to compromise our friendship.”

You huffed, a little taken aback and shifted beside him, propping your elbow on his shoulder and resting your head in your palm. “I don't think you could ever do anything to ruin our relationship. I love having you in my life too much to let that happen.”

Eddie couldn't help the smile spreading to his eyes. “Well, then, if you've given this some thought, why are you only telling me this now? I know you're not the type of woman to wait around for the first kiss.”

You knew he was teasing you now, but there was truth to it, and the idea of you and Eddie sharing a kiss basically glued your hungry eyes to his lips. You wanted to taste them, you had for a long time. “I guess I didn't want to step on your toes either. But we're both single, and I think we know each other well enough to decide whether we stand a chance before doing something stupid. Besides, we've been drinking a bit, and it's just the two of us, so I guess it's confession o'clock.”

He nodded, chuckling. Eddie saw how you were looking at him, like you were just one wild thought away from taking what you wanted—and God, you really wanted him, didn't you? Eddie's tongue darted out to wet his lips, his hips shifting slightly. “‘N you don't think this would be a mistake?”

While he didn't particularly think this was merely tipsy ramblings, he feared being the one to drag you down a rabbit hole.

Lucky him, you knew Eddie well enough to know how hard he could be on himself, how he was probably doubting himself right now.

You moved a bit and rested your hand against his cheek, palm warm from the skin of your own, eyes flickering between his pouty lips and his brown poppy eyes. Your thumb grazed his lower lip as you leaned closer. “I think if this is a mistake, it's one I wanna make.”

Eddie's jaw clenched in your hand, nostrils flaring with a sharp inhale, and he swallowed. Smirking down on you, brow cocked and lust in his eyes. He looked so handsome like this. “What's stopping you then? You want a date first?”

A sly smirk formed as you tilted your head, challenging him. “I'd rather take that kiss first.”

Mere inches from each other, breaths mixing, lips ghosting, Eddie's hand snaked around your lower half, squeezing your hip encouragingly. “Then take it.”

Heat rushed through your body as you did exactly that. Connecting your lips in the gentlest of ways, you melted against him, completely unaware of the tension your body had amassed. The weight lifted from your shoulders and everything in the room bar the two of you ceased to exist, and a moan vibrated from your lips.

Eddie felt the hairs on the nape of his neck rise as he held you closer, pulling you onto his lap and eagerly kissing you, feeling your weight ground him to the moment. There was a constriction in his chest that loosened when your parted lips gave way to his tongue.

Your tongues danced in a battle of power, suddenly wide awake at the taste of the other. You held onto his shoulders, shifting in his lap to properly straddle him, and you gasped at the contact, having forgotten you were only layered in a thin dress and panties.

A low moan rumbled in his chest, panting as he broke the kiss, looking down between your bodies. Eddie's hand slid down your ass, palming at the supple flesh while the other cradled the back of your neck, pulling you down so that your forehead rested against his. “Fucking hell, cariño.”

A breathy giggle escaped you at his reaction. You leaned forward, pressing your bleeding heart against his, bucking slightly forward, feeling the rough imprint of his hard cock.

Hissing, Eddie's face scrunched up as if in pain, brows furrowing while he held a moan back at the friction. Large hands settled on your hips, pressing you down harder. “You're gonna be the death of me.”

“I hope not,” you grinned, guiding his hands to your thighs, prompting him to explore your body further and he did so with great enthusiasm. He caught your lips again, greedily licking into your mouth as he massaged the flesh in his calloused hands. Moaning into his mouth you ground down on him, harder this time, loving the way your best friend's cock felt between your legs. You whimpered, “f-fuck, Eddie.”

“Keep moanin’ my name, mi amor,” he encouraged breathlessly, cursing when he finally let his fingers feel the damp lace material covering your sex. “Oh—you're fucking soaked, baby. All this for me?”

“Yes, yes, Eds—” you cried, finding purchase on his shoulders as you writhed desperately in his embrace. “Please! It-it's all for you, only for you.”

He slipped his thumb under the fabric and collected your juice before bringing it to your mouth. Eddie licked the sticky mix from your lips and groaned against you.

Whimpering, you reached between your bodies, frantically trying to undo his belt. His head fell back with a groan, his cock itching for freedom. He cursed, endearingly watching your facial expression as you finally managed to pull him free, memorizing just how beautifully your face twitched as you mumbled, “you're so big.”

“You can take it,” he encouraged.

You traced your thumb over the leaking slit, glossing it around the angry head, the soft touch making him whimper as he nibbled on your neck. It felt absolutely maddening, having a man such as Eddie Diaz under you, hips involuntarily bucking upward in an attempt to chase whatever relief your hand could offer. You enjoyed having that kind of power over him. Chuckling, you pulled his head back from where it was nuzzled in the crook of your neck and ghosted your lips over the shell of his ear. “Easy, cowboy.”

Moving your panties to the side, you dragged your fingers through your wet folds before taking him in your hand. You peppered kisses along his jawline, stroking him slowly but firmly. The noise from the TV seemed to die out as you pumped his thick shaft with your slick, grinding against him, enjoying the ragged breaths he emitted.

You positioned him at your wet entrance, dragging the angry head through your folds, shuddering.

Eddie's rough hand grabbed you by the jaw, flexed fingers digging into your skin, pulling you close to his face. “No more teasing, princess,” he ordered hoarsely.

His command made you want to challenge him, but you couldn't hold back any longer. With a shaky breath, you positioned yourself and slowly slid down his length. There was a sharp pain but you expected as much. Still, you winced at the piercing sensation and found comfort in swallowing his ragged moan, distracting yourself from the sting as you took him to the hilt.

“Fuck,” Eddie croaked, his hands wrapping around your thighs, pushing deeper, forcing himself further into your sex than you thought possible. He helped turn the pain into pleasure by kissing you softly, tongue tasting yours as he rocked you back and forth in his lap. You gasped into his mouth, face twisting as your walls adjusted to him. “You feel so good around me, amor.”

You steadied yourself against his taut chest as you found your own rhythm. Enticed by your chest moving right in front of him, he freed a breast, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he massaged the skin with one hand, palming your ass with the other.

Initially, you had had no doubt being full of Eddie would feel good, but you hadn't been prepared to feel this much. His touch gave you warmth and kisses comfort, but the way he held you provided you with a sense of safety you never wanted to be rid of.

You settled into a comfortable rhythm, feeling confident riding his heavy cock with the sweet sounds he emitted. You took his hand from your ass and moved it to your belly, pressing into your flesh and moaning obscenely at the applied pressure. “Ho-holy shit, Eddie! You feel that? Hnng—you… so deep.”

Eddie let go of your nipple, but not before teasing the perked nub with his teeth, drawing a pitched whine from you. You watched you intensely through hazy eyes and furrowed brows, feeling his cock twitch as his hand pressed harder into your belly. “Oh—yer taking me so well, doll. Doin’ so good for me. Ridin’ me like you were meant to.”

If your face wasn't flustered before, it surely was now. Your best friend's praise went straight to your cunt, clenching Eddie deliciously as if trying to milk him.

Eddie pulled you down and kissed you messily, hungry for whatever you might give him, as long as it was you. His hand moved from his bulge prodding you from inside and settled between your legs, rubbing tight circles on your throbbing clit.

“Ff-fuck! Eds—” you gasped. The sudden determined attention to your neglected nub made you thwart forward, movements faltering as your high got higher. 

His hips rutted in response, fucking into you when your legs shook around him. “That's it, baby. Just let go—let it all go.”

Wanton sounds of sweaty skin slapping, panting, moaning, loving—you lost yourself in Eddie's warmth, falling apart in his lap as he fucked you through your orgasm.

Eddie's thrusts grew more urgent, continuing his ministrations to your swollen clit while chasing his own release.

You cried out, feeling your body spasm, convulsing around him as he didn't let up. Your polished nails dug into his shoulders, clawing marks forming under the hazy gaze of your glossy eyes. “E—hnng! Eddie,” you choked, teeth biting his skin. “I… I can't—”

Eddie ceased his torture only to hold your hips firmly as he practically fucked up into your slippery cunt like a ragdoll. Gasping, you felt the increased pace bringing on another orgasm as you held onto him for dear life, breathing each other's air. “Jus’ a little more, baby—” he grunted, jaw fixed in place as he watched you fall apart on him. “You're doing so good for me, amor. So, so good.”

“Plea-please, Eds,” you cried pathetically with just enough energy left to hold yourself slightly above him so that he could continue his assault on you. “Co-come in me, Eddie.”

Your desperate pleas set something off in him, his vivid imagination making him snap his hips roughly. Drawn into a scenario where you stood round and swollen with his seed—it made him burst.

Spurts of creamy ropes of cum painted your velvet walls as he tried to grind deeper into you, arms folding around the small of your waist, holding you down on him, his face hidden in your chest.

You noticed how the distant audio from the TV seemed to seep back to you, blending over your ragged pants and heavy breathing. Looking down between you, you saw a wet stain on your silky dress and you had no doubt Eddie's pants would be off way worse.

Eddie slowly lifted his head from your chest, those brown doe-eyes no longer filled with the same raw hunger but a weary mix of satisfaction and affection. Another surge of heat flushed your cheeks, and you pressed your lips against his, as gently as the first time around. He sighed softly at the contact, something so tender about the way your lips asked for permission while your tits were pressed against him and his cock still inside you.

After a moment you shifted and reluctantly got off him, not getting far when he didn't let go of your hand. “You-you're leaving?”

You chuckled, squeezing his hand back. “Was actually just going to clean myself up,” you said and he nodded, but didn't let go. He snickered and got down on your knees, taking his half-hard cock in your hand, tilting it upward and licked him clean. Eddie shuddered, undoubtedly sensitive to the touch of your tongue lapping at your juices. You moaned around him, loving the taste; loving the feeling of his cum leaking down your thighs.

Eddie groaned your name and you let his head go with a pop. “You'll stay the night, won't you?”

You hadn't exactly thought about leaving, but the request still made your heart flutter. “I will do anything you want me to, Eds.”

[n0tamused]

Hi! I saw that you requests were open and I had a brain rot about an idea, with platonic! Ratio with a student who acts like Bronya Zaychik. Feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like writing this! I love your work sm! Take care🗣🗣🗣

- 🧈 anon

A/N: My first emoji anon >:D Hello! Thank you so much for your request, I do hope I did it justice. I do have to say I did not play HI3 besides a little bit of the start, so I am not that well versed with Bronya's character there, but I did ask a friend to tell me about her, so I hope this is alright <3 Enjoy! You take care too!

Contents: PLATONIC! Dr Ratio x Reader, hcs, fluff?? Fight me

-Dr. Ratio is hard to get close to, both as a professor and an individual outside the Intelligentsia Guild. With that comes great impartiality when dealing with people, no one gets a better or a necessarily worse treatment by him, unless they’re really asking for it

-This does not mean that he is not keen on observation. Seldom few things can go by him without his notice, and that includes the little details about the students he teaches. The things they think escape the view of others

-It took some time, some odd few months before he really began to focus a bit more on you, all past observations accounting up to what he thinks now. His view definitely changed, positively so too.

-He is very appreciative of you, as a bright spark among the sea of dull minds, and he also began to look forward to your essays and exam papers. Although his rather harsh outward demeanor is yet to soften, it is clear he is taking steps to take a bit more care about you, taking steps to nurture your mind and to encourage its further growth

-Dr. Ratio really does want to spread knowledge far and wide, that is his life mission, and his way of teaching can be hard to catch on to, something he is aware of. So whenever he does see someone grasping his talks and being in tune with the material, he will do his best to not let that student stray from this path

-As a professor it is his duty and responsibility to be like that, but he takes that duty on tenfold

-During the days and classes which are spent in practical learning, Dr. Ratio would observe your way of going about the task, the way you look so…deadpan when being seemingly sarcastic with your peers, and how much you just cherish those few people in your closest circle, and how they cherish you in return- it is something that leaves him with an odd sense of pride in his chest.

-Having mentioned that, he finds it oddly peculiar and curious how you seem to refer to yourself as a third person too, and at times he does find it to be a pet peeve of his. In his mind it’s a cruel way to demean yourself like that, and at times when it seems as if you’re being rude to yourself, he will jump in to correct you - not only on the way you refer to yourself, but also the way you talk about yourself. He may be blunt, but he is not unnecessarily rude and there is care interwoven between his sharp words. Dr. Ratio does not take out rage on his students either, unless asked for, obviously - when did he ever mince his words or  actions with idiots? But you are human, so at least treat yourself as one.

-It is an odd feeling Dr. Ratio feels,  a sense of paternal protectiveness when it comes to you after a long while of teaching you and getting to know you through small talks here and there and through the answers you offer. 

-Should you encounter an issue, any issue, rest assured, Dr. Ratio does not mind repeating himself - after he let a small sassy remark fall from his lips about having to repeat himself. He shows you how he does it himself, before letting you take a go under his watchful eye. You may even catch a subtle praise or two slip from him

-He is well aware of the setbacks you can encounter, mainly with the issues of walking and going about. Dr. Ratio would try to accommodate the needs of his students, including you, as practically as he could. Thankfully, you won’t need to walk much at all during his classes. 

-Going back to the protectiveness he feels, he sort of has that demeanor which in a nutshell is just “I can yell at them but no one else can”. The other professors at the Guild can really strike his nerves when they are just rude and cruel to students, and aeons save the person that dares to dig their nasty teeth into either one of his students. They’re not gonna hear the end of it

-Say what you want about him, but one thing that is not true is that Dr. Ratio is emotionless, or that he lacks empathy. He was a student once too, and someone’s child. And now you’re his student, and while you may not be coddled in any way, you will be taken care of.

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[multifandomfanficss]

You Really Gotta Get Better At Lying

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

Featuring platonic!Peacemaker, Goff, and the rest of the 11th Street Kids

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: You’re a civilian with a superhero boyfriend. It was working out pretty well for you both until one day when you’re hanging out in his best friend’s trailer and you get stuck in the crossfire. This is based on episode 6.

Warnings: Mentions of guns, Cannon compliment jokes, language, and violence, joking references to m-preg and daddy kinks (this is Adrian and Chris we’re talking about and it’s based on the butterfly interrogation scene lol), Angst with a happy ending

A/N: Hey Guys! Cannot believe this is my first full fic I’ve been able to finish since last August…11 months! This year has been pretty nuts for me, but I miss my man :)))) ❤️🧜‍♂️❤️ (Also the part in italics is a flashback if that’s not clear.)

“Come in Adrian!” You heard a voice coming from the trailer as your boyfriend knocked.

“How did you know it was me?” Adrian asked.

“You knock in a very annoying way. Hi, (Y/N).” Chris said as you walked into his place.

“I’m sorry.” You placed a hand on Adrian’s shoulder.

“Well I think it it’s cute.” You smiled at him. He smiled down at you, breaking into an infectious smile. Your own smile only grew. “Hi, Chris.” You said turning to look at Peacemaker. Today was your day off and Adrian wanted to get wasted at the trailer. Despite not always getting along, you were pretty good friends with Chris so you loved going to his place with Adrian to hang out. When you got there he was in his super suit. This was no surprise to you. Adrian had brought his as well. Usually a day at Chris’ meant at least an hour would be spent doing target practice or what you liked to call watching your two favorite idiots fuck around.

You had learned about Vigilante not too long into dating Adrian. It wasn’t hard to figure out. You loved him, but he was an awful liar. One slip up lead to another and suddenly it was 3am and Vigilante was knocking on your door. You’d had a nightmare and called Adrian because you knew he was a night owl. You woke up hyperventilating and sweating, too scared to go back to sleep. You just wanted to hear his voice, but you weren’t gonna complain when he said he couldn’t sleep either and was on a late night walk by your apartment. You didn’t question how weird that sounded, you just wanted to be with him so you said he could come over. What you didn’t know was that he was actually on patrol on your side of town. He meant to change, before reaching your door, but somehow he was in such a hurry to get to you he just forgot. He didn’t realize when you screamed upon opening the door, already shaken up from your nightmare and now confused as to why the news’ least favorite costumed crime fighter was at your apartment. He screamed back at you.

“What are you screaming about?!” Vigilante asked.

“What am I screaming about?! What are you screaming about?!”

“Okay! Stop screaming! I am really confused right now!”

The more you thought about it the more you realized you knew that voice.

“…Adrian…”

“Of course it’s me! I know it’s late and it’s dark, but is it that hard to recognize me? I think you might need to check your eyes again, Bug-a-boo.”

One of those silly nicknames you loved. It was Adrian.

“…mask…”

You saw his eyes go wide behind the tinted red visor. His gloved hands went up to touch his face. He’d forgotten.

“Oh shit…” He said under his breath. “I- I don’t know who Adrian is…who’s that? I’m sorry I scared you, innocent civilian. I was just out doing my patrol duties and I-“

“Adrian…” You started to tear up.

“I told you I’m not Adrian. I’m Vigilante. Common mistake. Both names sound like super similar actually-“

“Adrian…” You cut him off again, bursting into tears, hugging him. He sighs.

“You’re okay, (Y/N). I’m here. Everything’s okay.”

You stared at a jar on Chris’ table. It had some sort of bug in it. It was a species you’d never seen before.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“You kept Goff?” Adrian questioned.

“Is that like the name of the bug or did you guys name it?” You keep staring, confused. It almost seems to stare back at you.

“That’s his name. We found him in a shitty politician.” Adrian answered. In him…? You didn’t want to know so you decided not to press as the boys continued to argue about keeping Goff as a dangerous pet.

“Why is he dangerous? Is he invasive?” You questioned.

“You could say that!” Adrian joked.

“Where is it from?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think they came from our solar system. I feel like NASA would have figured that out by now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were fucking lying to us.” Chris said on the verge of telling another conspiracy theory.

“What…?” You finally broke your gaze from Goff.

“Don’t even fucking get me started on the moon landing and-“

“No, I mean this- this is an alien?” You cut off Chris. You turn to Adrian. “You’re fighting aliens?!”

“Yeah! How cool is that?!” His face lit up.

“So fucking cool!” You started nerding out with your boyfriend until your attention was drawn to Goff who was drawing a peace sign on the jar in some sort of weird goo. The three of you, after taking about a minute to freak out, sat on the couch to investigate. You sat in between Chris and Adrian. You were hoping this would keep them from arguing, but it did nothing of the sort. Before you knew it your head was resting on the back of the couch as the two guys argued above you. “Will you guys just kiss and make up already?! Jesus! Get a room! Chris you gotta have more patients and at least try to see his point of view. Adrian, baby, we have to ask yes or no questions because Goff can’t speak to us verbally and we don’t have an alphabet for him to spell things out with.”

“What if we got like an ouija board and just let him move the little triangle thing around?” Adrian wondered.

“I think that’s a great idea, but we don’t have one right now, so just while we’re limited on time we gotta keep it to yes or no questions, alright? Think of it like that pendulum thing I showed you. It can only swing so many ways like how Goff can only tap so many times.” Adrian finally seemed to understand. One of your favorite things to do together was info dump about your interests. Not too long ago you’d had a really big hyperfixation on ghosts, which is probably where he’d gotten the idea for the ouija board in the first place. It wasn’t that he was stupid, he was often just running a marathon in his head to find different solutions to the problems everyone else had already given up on. While he was trying to figure out a solution, everybody thought he was an idiot for even trying. That was one of the many reasons you and Adrian worked so well together. You both understood how the other person’s brain worked.

“Okay. Goff, are you here to put babies in us like in alien?”

Two taps: No.

Adrian sighs.

“Dude, you’re upset about that?” Chris asks.

“Well how else am I gonna experience motherhood?” Your boyfriend asked sadly. You rested your hand on his knee.

“I’m sorry, baby. But you know what? Maybe one day you can be a really incredible dad to our kids.” You blushed.

“You think I’d be an incredible dad?” He asked in awe.

“I think you’d be the most incredible dad.” You kiss him as Chris gags.

“Now it’s my turn to say get a room and not one in my trailer. I don’t want you guys fucking roleplaying your daddy m-preg shit in my bathroom.” Chris rolled his eyes.

“Oh my god that is not what I meant! Please can we just get back to the alien bug sitting on your coffee table?!” You exclaimed.

One tap: Yes.

“See! Even Goff agrees you’re being ridiculous!” You tell him.

“I am not!” Chris started to argue like a toddler.

Two taps: No.

“You’re acting like a toddler.”

One tap: Yes.

“Woah! It’s like Goff’s on (Y/N)’s side.” You smiled at Adrian’s amusement.

One Tap: Yes.

“You are not helping me here.” Chris whispered in a harsh tone to the jar.

One Tap: Yes.

You laughed. “Goff, do you wanna be friends?”

One Tap: Yes.

As you and Adrian continued to argue with Chris, much to Goff’s amusement, Adrian’s phone started to ring.

“Who is this…Vigilante? I- I don’t know that person. That’s um- is that even a name? I’m- sounds Italian and I’m- I’m- I’m American, so I can’t even-“ Chris ripped the phone from his hand and you gave him a sympathetic look.

“Babe, you really gotta get better at lying.”

“I’m great at lying!” You gave him a smile.

“Okay, honey.”

“I am!”

“A month after we started dating you showed up at my door fully suited up, completely forgetting to change after patrol.”

“That’s because I wanted to. It was my way of telling you.” He was obviously lying again

“Okay, honey.” You smiled as Chris shushed you. He was panicked, far more panicked than usual.

“What’s happening?” You questioned, starting to get nervous.

“The entire police force of Evergreen is outside right now. This place is fucking crawling with cops.” Chris whispered, opening his sunroof.

“Are we gonna fucking crawl up there?!” You whisper yelled, trying to keep your voice down. You were a civilian and despite hanging around superheroes you had never been in on the action yourself.

Adrian grabbed your hand. “It’s gonna be okay.” He tried to give you reassurance, despite not quite knowing what they were up against. “I need you to promise me you’ll stick by me, okay?” You stared at the roof in fear. “(Y/N), I need you to promise me.” Adrian looked at you desperately searching for an agreement.

“O-okay” You stuttered, your mind barley able to process what was happening. Chris climbs through helping pull you up as Adrian lifts you through the hole. You were so scared you didn’t even really notice Adrian had Goff tied to him with duct tape. Chris started climbing in a nearby tree. Adrian pushed you towards it. You shook your head at him, giving him a face that said ‘There is no way in hell I’m doing this’.

“I’m not gonna let you fall.” He promised. So much for that. Not long into climbing Adrian himself fell out of the tree. Usually you would find his clumsiness cute, but now was not the time. Chris put his free hand over your mouth to stop you from screaming.

“Oh fuck…I’m okay…” He said, a little out of it, just having at the wind knocked out of him. Of fuck. Goff. This is when you fully process the glass jar taped to Adrian’s back…the broken glass jar. Chris quickly helps you get down. You run to Adrian.

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m okay, I promise.” Adrian reassures you.

“DON’T MOVE!” The police detective yelled, pointing her gun at you. Adrian rested one hand on his hip, close to his knife and the other on your back so he could push you underneath him in a second if bullets started flying. You were terrified. You didn’t even notice Goff flying towards the woman until he started to fly into her mouth. Now you knew what Adrian meant by in the senator. Blood started pouring out of her mouth.

“What the fuck?!” You yelled in shock as Chris and Adrian started pulling you up from the ground. Everything was happening too fast. Suddenly you were running through the woods. Bullets were flying. Knives were being thrown.

“At worst, he’s paralyzed!” Adrian’s voice barley broke through to your clouded mind. You could see a clearing up ahead. Just get to the clearing. You can do it. Just get to the clearing. You saw Chris stop in front of you. He had a gun pointed directly at him. Then another. You and Adrian stop behind Chris. You’re surrounded. Adrian keeps you close. Then one of them falls to the ground. You grab onto Adrian’s back, not wanting to limit the movement of his arms. He reaches behind himself to put a hand on you. You turned to see another policeman had shot the guy who was pointing a gun at you.

“What the fuck?!” You yelled, trying to keep your panic down.

“Do you wanna ask stupid questions or do you wanna live?” He asked you as you hid behind Adrian again.

Chris and Adrian pulled you away from the scene as the man shot the defenseless low level cops on the ground. He mocked their cries as he shot them. Chris and Adrian brought you to a car the man had told you about. A getaway car that was waiting for you just down the road at the edge of the woods. Adrian shoved you into the car. You sat in the back seat with him as he continued to argue with Chris, even throwing his phone out the window at one point. He kept an arm around your shaking body. Eagly was squawking in the passenger seat. It was all too much.

“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU PLEASE.” You started to cry. “I LOVE YOU BOTH, BUT PLEASE! FUCK!”

Adrian placed a kiss to your forehead gently starting to rub your arm. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not you. Usually I wouldn’t care, but what the fuck is happening?! Is the detective fucking dead?! Like is that what they do?! Just like fucking drill into your skull through your mouth and play Ratatouille?!”

“They can go through your butt too…” Adrian said quietly.

“Oh great! So glad! That must be so much more pleasant!” Adrian went to open his mouth, but you knew what he was gonna say. “Yes, I’m being sarcastic!”

“Okay. Thank you for specifying. Let’s just breathe. Can you do that? Can you breathe with me?” Adrian asks, starting to exaggerate his breathing for you to follow. He knew you were starting to get worked up. You always got upset when you were confused, but this was an entirely new level with an added sense of extreme terror and danger. You try to follow his breathing. “In and out. Good job.”

“Forget about the aliens I wanna know what the fuck was up with that one cop!” Chris questions from the driver’s seat, now done using Adrian’s phone to call headquarters.

“You mean you didn’t fucking know that guy?!” You question.

“No! Why would I just know a crazy fucker at the police station?!” Chris yells.

“I don’t know! Maybe the fact that he gave you a car?! You know some pretty weird fucking people! I’ve never met King Shark!” You scream, letting out a sigh, leaning further into Adrian’s touch as he kisses your forehead again, still trying to calm you.

The rest of your short drive to headquarters was mostly spent in silence. You had never been there, but you knew where it was. You were the only person Adrian told everything to. You walked into headquarters quickly, not wanting to be seen stashing the getaway car.

“What the fuck just happened?!” Chris yelled bursting into headaquarters.

“Who’s the civilian? I don’t think I have to remind you of the privacy of this mission.” A man who seemed to be in charge asked as you tried to make yourself small feeling scared and embarrassed. You think you remember Adrian saying his name was Murn.

“They’re my partner.” Adrian told the team.

“You have a partner?” The man who was absolutely John Economos asked. He was even taller than you imagined.

“I told you I had a partner. You knew about them.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think they were real.” John laughed at his own joke.

“Um…hi. Sorry. Very real partner over here, what the fuck is happening?!” You interrupted. They all exchanged a series of looks you couldn’t read before one of them spoke up.

“Hi my name’s Leota. Why don’t we go talk in the other room for a bit?” You didn’t answer her, you just squeezed Adrian’s hand, not wanting to be separated from him.

“It’s okay. You can go. I’ll just be a few minutes. I promise you can trust her. Eagly does!” Adrian smiled at you.

“I guess he’s pretty good judge of character.” You joked, giving Adrian a smile.

“It’s okay. We’re safe here. Here, take this.” He reached for the back of his chair and grabbed a sweater he’d accidentally left there. He wrapped it around you. He knew how much you loved to wear his clothes. You were happy to be surrounded by his smell. You sighed, calming a little bit. “I won’t be long and I’m not gonna leave the building. I promise.” You nodded, reluctantly following Leota.

“Harcourt you handle this. Peacemaker, Economos in my office now.” You heard as you walked up the stairs. As Leota was answering some of your questions Harcourt and Adrian were downstairs having a very difficult conversation.

“You don’t look so happy. I thought you loved violence. I thought you said it was awesome.” Harcourt started, her voice thick with sarcasm. Adrian missed it yet again.

“Not when they’re involved.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have involved them then.”

“I didn’t mean to! I’m not normal. I know and usually I don’t care, but they are the only thing in my life that makes me feel normal- the only part of my life that feels normal. Even…even when I’m just Adrian Chase, the busboy at fennel fields, everybody acts like I’m a fucking freak or some big burden. But not them. They let me be myself. They like me! They’re separate from all of this. I should be allowed to have this one thing.”

Harcourt’s face softened. “You should be and I’m sorry…but that’s not how this life works. I know you want to keep them safe. It’s only gonna get more dangerous from here. You know what you have to do, right?”

“I’m not doing it.”

“Look…” Harcourt paused taking a deep breath. “Adrian…I’m sorry. Doing what we do- it isn’t easy.” She used his real name. He thinks this might even been the first time she’s really called him anything other than Vigilante, psycho, or dumb shit.

While they were talking downstairs you were upstairs asking all sorts of questions to Leota about the butterflies. She was answering as much as she could until Adrian knocked on the door. “Can I have a minute alone with (Y/N)?” He asked.

“Of course. Let me know if either of you need anything.” She smiled at you on the way out.

“She’s nice. I’m sorry I freaked out earlier. I think I finally have a handle on everything now.” You smiled at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were glued to the ground. “Ade, what’s wrong?” You asked.

“I’m breaking up with you…”

“Yeah haha very funny. Now, what actually happened downstairs?” He stayed silent. “You’re serious? Adrian, you’re not breaking up with me.”

“Yeah I am actually.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to date you anymore.”

“That’s not true. You’re an awful fucking liar, so look at me and tell me why you’re breaking up with me.”

“I already told you why.” He was starting to get choked up.

“Adrian, I love you.”

“I love you too-“

“Then don’t break up with me!” You cut him off.

“I have to!”

“Why?!”

“I need to keep you safe!” He raised his voice at you. He’d never raised his voice at you like that before. You started crying.

“Why don’t I get a choice?! What about what I want?! Shouldn’t it be my choice?! Adrian, I don’t give a fuck if it’s dangerous! Before I met you my life was awful! I was a freak! You are the only person who makes me feel like I can be my fucking self! You are the only person I don’t feel like a fucking inconvince around! The only one who understands me! Why can’t we just have this one fucking thing?!” You yelled.

He laughs through the few tears that had just started falling down his cheeks. “That’s what I said.” He sighs, sitting on the couch, wrapping you in his arms. “I’m sorry.“

“Please don’t leave me. You’re my entire world.”

“I may be your world, but you’re my sun, I live for you- because of you. There would be nothing without you. Nothing.” He kisses you on the forehead.

“So, don’t break up with me.” You were pleading quietly through your tears at this point.

“I’m sorry. I don’t wanna say I was eavesdropping, but I was totally eavesdropping. If you’re worried about them being safe I think I can help.” Leota entered the doorway again.

“How?” Adrian asked.

“Well, I have my wife set up in a safe house right now while things are a little extra sticky. Sometimes things get lonely. I bet she’d love a new roommate.”

“Adebayo, are you serious right now?”

“Very serious, Adrian.” She smiled.

“Oh my god I could kiss you.”

She laughs at his comment. “Don’t kiss me. I’m married. Go kiss your partner who you’re not breaking up with and don’t tell Harcourt about this.”

“I won’t.” He smiles.

“Okay, now I think you should really take her advice and kiss me.” You smile up at him, kissing him.

“Okay, lovebirds. I’m gonna go distract buzzkill 1 and buzzkill 2 downstairs. I’ll let you know if you’re needed.” She smiles, leaving you to alone.

“I can’t believe you almost broke up with me.”

“Yeah that would have been stupid.”

“Really stupid.” You added, both laughing. “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too more than anything.” He said. You both smiled, kissing. You snuggled deeper into him and started a discussion about the logistics of how you would navigate this new adventure.

[evendumbo]

I wonder if those who wanted Ted and Rebecca to remain platonic friends because “we need more representations of platonic male/female friendships on tv” genuinely believe that Ted and Rebecca’s relationship delivered this to them. I wonder if a fan could describe what was unique about their friendship.

How did these character’s’ relationship re-define platonic intimacy? What insight did we gain about the value of male/female friendship? Rebecca and Keeley would hang out regularly and explore issues of gender, media, business, power, sexuality, and love, including for each other. Of Ted and Rebecca’s brief non-work conversations, they were almost exclusively about divorce, one or two about dating. How did these conversations expand our ideas about how friendships between men and women can be uniquely useful in processing these issues?

When we look back on iconic male/female friendships on tv, do people really think that Rebecca and Ted will be on the list?

The most nuanced, interesting m/f friendship on tv that I can think of is Frasier and Roz. Their conversations spanned a wide variety of topics. They were there for each other when things got bad for each of them. It was clear that they knew each other well. They’d tease each other, advocate for each other, argue with each other, challenge each other. They had a complicated and interesting intimacy. They were friends.

It’s not totally a fair comparison bc Frasier is an old school show and had a zillion episodes. My point is that I deeply learned from their friendship. I honestly can’t think of anything interesting to say about Ted and Rebecca if limited to a context of platonic friendship, or even platonic “soulmates,” except it’s spooky that traumatic things in their childhoods happened to them on the same day, and it’s very nice that divorced people give each other pep talks sometimes.

Is that what folks are out here celebrating? Because…🥱

[danplansfwtickle-blog0]

Title: panic attack (aftermath)

Description: after coming home from a rather anxious meeting with some other online animators, hosuh finds himself completely drained from a panic attack that he had, but thankfully he has Stephen to be there for him.

Ler: Stephen

Lee: hosuh

(Platonic)

————————————————————————————————————

“How long has it been?” Jay asked, obviously concerned for his silver haired friend.

Daniel who was sitting across the table from jay, looked down at his watch and said: “almost three hours since he came back”

Stephen blinked, “seriously? That long? What the hell are we doing then just standing on the side while hosuh is just suffering under the influence of a…” Stephen lowered his voice to whisper, making sure hosuh didn’t hear. “Panic attack”

“Correction, he’s currently done and now recovering from his numbness from the..well you know, but yeah, I agree with Stephen, we should go and talk to hosuh, we are his friends after all” Jay stood up and was about to head over to hosuh, when Stephen put a hand on his shoulder.

“Actually…let me handle this. I am his closest friend and well, I think it would be better if just me and him were alone for this” Stephen reasoned, hoping Jay would get the message.

Jay thought for a moment, then nodded slightly, and looked over at Dan as Stephen went over to his bedroom door down the hall.

“I hope hosuh’s alright, what could have caused his distress?” Daniel said, rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m not sure, but as long as hosuh knows he’s safe around us and the environment, that’s all that matters right now” Jay replied.

Stephen lifted his hand to knock on the closed door, before hesitating. *the hell am I doing?! Hosuh is my friend! I’m supposed to help him!*

Stephen forced a gentle knock as he cleared his throat, trying his best not to seem like he was interrupting hosuh’s personal bubble. Stephen opened his mouth to speak: “Hosuh? Are you alright? We heard from a call earlier that…well, me and Jay and Dan just want to know if your alright”

Only silence met Stephen, giving him the idea that hosuh was in one of those moods when he was either sad, angry or feeling empty. *probably the last option knowing what happened, or rather I don’t in detail at least*

Stephen opened the door and closed it behind him, finding hosuh lying on the bed with his back to Stephen. Stephen walked over and sat down on the bed, seeing that hosuh was awake, just extremely stoic and his blue eyes seeming to dim from the lack of emotion he seemed to suppress under his anxiety if not this depressive episode. Stephen knew hosuh well enough to know he never suffered from serious depression or anxiety, so he, jay or Dan for that matter never knew what could have been the cause for his panic attack.

*maybe he was just overly stressed that he panicked over something? Perhaps it was from a phobia?* Stephen guessed, the gears in his head turning slowly.

“Wanna talk about what happened today?” Stephen asked, his voice low but full of interest and sincere concern.

Stephen is never this compassionate towards anyone, and never hosuh usually, but Stephen knew he wasn’t gonna let a rough day ruin hosuh like this, not when hosuh had never let him down all other times.

“You know I care right? Hosuh?”

Silence rained, as hosuh breathed in slow and exhaled in a way of answering Stephen but not n a helpful way however, he remained as lifeless as ever, slowly blinking. Hosuh was so out of it, he was so discontent he might as well looked disconnected from the world around him.

Stephen placed a hand on his shoulder, Stephen felt Hosuh jump a little from the contact. He still had a little life in him left, he just needed to find a way to make it rise.

“Remember how when we first became real friends, and that I would make you happy no matter what? Because I love you and all?” Stephen asked, getting hosuh’s eyes to look in his direction without moving his head. “I promised I would and well, I’m here to do whatever I can to make you happy again”

Hosuh started show a slightly irritated look and just pulled the covers over his head.

“Even if you try to run from it..” Stephen said with a small smile. “Now come on hosuh, where is the man that was always there for me when I needed him the most? Come on show yourself”

Hosuh remained still under the covers, but Stephen could sense that this could actually work.

“And who’s the friend that picked me up after I fell to the dirt?” Stephen playfully teased, placing the same hand from a minute ago over hosuh’s side, making hosuh freeze. “Come on where is he?~”

Stephen repositioned himself closer to hosuh’s and put both hands on hosuh, running them around his torso before finding his sides on top of the blanket. Hosuh seems to scoot away from Stephen a little.

“Now where is that I friend? I could really use a friend right now, a friend that is willing to give me a smile and something else that follows a smile perhaps?” Stephen gently squeezed hosuh’s sides, making him squirm already from the contact. “Come on, I still had not found that friend, now do I have to force him to come out of hiding? Or will he come out himself?”

Stephen started to carefully dig his digits into hosuh’s skin through the blanket, making small circles, giggling started to sound from under the covers.

“Ste-hehephen please-“ hosuh finally spoke under his breath through a fit of giggles.

Stephen started to poke randomly with one of his hands, the other still, making five small finger circles on hosuh’s side.

“Come on hosuh, gimme a laugh, come on, not that hard to laugh” Stephen teased, now stopping his actions to pull the blanket down to reveal a frowned scared hosuh. Stephen grinned like a wolf. “I see that blush on your face, you can’t fool me dude”

Hosuh hid his face with a pillow, refusing to smile or laugh.

“Well if your not gonna talk I guess I’ll have to force and answer out of you, are you satisfied and happy yet?”

Hosuh just grumbled an inaudible ‘nuh uh’ thought the pillow.

“What’s with the attitude man, where’s my happy optimistic friend?!” Stephen raised his voice in a manner as if he was playing. “Don’t tell me this shady hosuh is ticklish and I have to change him back”

That comment left hosuh blushing, to which Stephen could see a little behind the pillow and smirked wider with gratitude. Stephen started to attack hosuh’s sides with more aggression, push hosuh further. Hosuh was doing his best not to laugh, which was working so far, only small giggling and snorts would escape Hosuh, but it wasn’t enough for Stephen.

“Where is hosuh?! And what have you done with him!” Stephen said. “Hosuh can you hear me? I can still save you from this horrid nightmare you call an empty shell!”

This was getting deeper into hosuh and at any moment he was gonna break.

“Tell me this, is hosuh ticklish on his…ribs?!”

Hosuh was at the edge of breaking, Stephen tracing and digging his fingers in between his ribs was almost unbearable, he was squirming so much and could barely contain his laughter any more.

“Who’s my best friend? Come on hosuh~ say it~ you know you wanna~ who is my best friend? Are you satisfied?!” Stephen joked. “I need answers!”

Stephen started attacking his stomach.

“HAHAHAHAAHA!!!” Hosuh had finally broke, his stomach was not the most sensitive, but it was one he was more embarrassed of, to which he started blushing uncontrollably.

“Awwww~ there you are~” Stephen cooed, pulling hosuh close and in his lap, continuing his attack on his sides and ribs. “Look at you~ you look a lot better in a smile then a frown, I could do this all day if I wanted”

“NOHOHO PLEHEHEHEASE!” Hosuh started to squirm away but Stephen grabbed hosuh from behind and flung him back onto the bed.

“Nuh uh! You dont get to run from this, I’m not done with you mister” Stephen then used a hand to ruffle hosuh’s hair and the other to stroke behind his ear which he knew was gonna tickle, making hosuh giggle already. Stephen just started to laugh anyways since he found hosuh to amusing and adorable as friend to stop playing with him. “And this spot is a bit ticklish~ hehehehe”

Hosuh slapped stephens hands away, only for Stephen to go back to tickling his sides, squeezing rapidly and giving pressure through his fingers, Hosuh curled up and couldn’t help but say “Stehehephen! Stohohohop! I’m happy now I geheheehet it!”

Stephen pulled hosuh into hug, stopping his attack for a moment…but only for a moment. Hosuh smiled a bit, hugging back.

“Thanks for checking on me, I probably still would have been happy even if jay or dan came to help me, but I’m glad you did”

“Yeah? So you think jay or Dan would also be tickling you like this?” Stephen teased, see as red glow increase on hosuh’s face. “Hahahaaha! Just kidding, only Stephen can cheer Hosuh up that way”

“Uhhh no” Hosuh said, leaning back from Stephen.

“Uhhh yeah?” Stephen pushed on.

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes”

“No stephen doesn’t get to top anyone this time”

“Stephen does get to be the best, cause he is the best!” Stephen boasted.

Hosuh let out a snicker, as if mocking stephens efforts to be superior. He looked at hosuh looking confused and a little upset.

“You think that’s funny to you?” Stephen asked, trying to grab hosuh by an arm but hosuh instead got off the bed, only to be pulled back again.

Stephen layed on top of hosuh to keel him still, aside from his legs that started to squirm and kick. Hosuh was laying on his back.

“I’ll show you funny, you clearly need more optimism” Stephen said, both hands on hosuh’s sides again, slowly starting to wiggle his fingers.

“Wait! Stephen I already have a bunch of that! You already do your thing, you cheered me up!” Hosuh yelped, knowing that he can’t do anything with his free hands.

“Yeah? But then you decided to throw it back in my face after all a my hard work by snickering at my pride!” Stephen explained, sitting up and trapping hosuhs arms at his sides with his legs.

“Now enough chat, more laughter….” Stephen added, making hosuh giggle uncomfortably. “Here comes thhheeeee tiiickle monnnster~”

Stephen playfully teased in a drawn out tone. Hosuh started squirm, but he could barely move under Stephen’s weight. Stephen lifted hosuh’s shirt and started tracing a finger around his stomach. Stephen noticed at the corner of his eye that hosuh was trying his best not to smile again.

“Nope!” Stephen declared, immediately digging his hands into hosuh’s sides, making him howl with laughter. “Don’t go back to gloomy hosuh! We just fixed that!”

Stephen then leaned his head down and started to blow small raspberry’s into hosuh’s neck, forcing screeches and yelps of giggles from his timid silver haired friend. Hosuh had manage to wiggle free an arm and started to attack Stephen’s stomach which he had a perfect shot from, Stephen jumped and looked at hosuh suspiciously, grabbing his free arm and pinning it above his head.

“Do you really think you’re fucking funny?” Stephen asked, almost genuinely. “Cause fighting back only makes situations worse for you”

Stephen moved both arms above hosuh’s head and smirked evilly, placing all five fingers on his ribs. “Perhaps I should start from the top” Stephen then dragged his hand down and eventually reaching hosuh’s side again. “Then again how far down can I really go?”

Stephen scooted back a bit and started kneading his hands into hosuh’s waist.

“HAHAHAHAAHAHA! NOHOHO PLEEHEHEASE!” Hosuh begged, but Stephen ignored him this time.

“Oh? What’s wrong?” Stephen asked, moving on to the tiger side. “Does it tickle? Why are you laughing? I’m just trying to give you a message”

Stephen then moved over to his sides and ribs, moving them up and down.

“Oh look at all of these spiders just skittering your body like crazy, I think you like it though~ you keep blushing and if you have a failed effort to get out and run you just give in? How cute, you even tried fighting back, you have to personality of a puppy but can’t do anything back cause it’s helpless, hehe”

Stephen let go of hosuh’s arms and started using both arms to attack both ends of his ribs and sides, hosuh tried blocking or swiping stephens hands away, but nothing was working anymore.

“Just a few..more..seconds…” Stephen grunted, forcing more laughs out of hosuh before he finally stopped, for real this time, he got off of hosuh and stood by his bed side. Hosuh was breathing heavily. “Heh heh, I guess my work here is done, Ive officially-“

Stephen was suddenly hugged by hosuh from behind.

“Hehhehe, dork” Hosuh joked, hugging tight.

End.

[mswyrr]

bridgerton 2x01

Just started Kate & Anthony's season! Assorted comments below.

1 - Kanthony

What a fun start they're off too! Great chemistry and sparks with this Rivals to Lovers pair.

I feel for Anthony and his severe (!) Eldest Brother Syndrome, but oh gosh. When he spouted some of that nonsense about finding a lady with "child-bearing hips and half a brain" I wanted to kick him lol I am so eager to watch him absolutely come apart with love of Kate.

Their first meeting is perfect. We learn quickly, within about 2 scenes here and later, that Kate is an expert with horses and doesn't back down from a challenge, not from Anthony or Lady Danbury - her back and forth with both of them really establishes (along with her careful planning, research, and care for her little sister) that she will make a magnificent Vicountess

"does your maid know you're riding astride?"

-Anthony, you are not EVERYONE'S older brother

-Anthony.... does the thought of her.... astride... perhaps intrigue you hmmmmm????

There's something interesting about the way that, at the party, both Kate & Pen observe and listen from the edges, the duality of being not considered but keeping your ears open for insight? unexpected/feminine power moves 🤔

Kate likes to keep her secrets!! it's a way to keep control AND YET she feels drawn to Anthony enough to confront him directly about the shit he was just talking. it's a real risk, given his power and money. As much as he is already struck with her, SHE is struck with him too, to take that risk.

"your character is as deficient as your horsemanship. i bid you goodnight" LMFAO his face!!! it's clear the actors were having a wonderful time. love it!

I think it's great that Kate is telling herself she's trying to protect Edwina from him, but actually.... they're both already so struck by each other there's all kinds of delicious subconscious motives at play imo!

2 - Women's relationships

-kate's own Eldest Daughter syndrome oh honey 🫂

-kate & lady danbury's conversation & pen & eloise's conversation are so good? there's intimacy and stakes between the women that i really like. despite the society emphasis on m/f marriage and the ways it rankles and is part of patriarchy, the "marriage mart" is really a women run world in many ways.

-pen's family of women is SO NASTY which makes a good contrast - this thing being run by women doesn't mean it's good or nice.

-somebody let the queen and lady danbury have Old Ladies Yuri i beg of you

-it's.... kind of crazy how shippable Pen and Eloise are. though i am totally aware it is intended to be a platonic friendship and i think it's interesting on that level as well! the way Pen wants her column as Lady W to please Eloise, even to the point of revising it to suit Eloise's tastes... I'm really looking forward to seeing how their besties relationship came apart. The drama! oh it's gonna hurt (rubs hands together)

3- MISC notes

-diamonds weren't the highest valued gem at the time. that was a product of later debeers advertising (late 19th cent). the "diamond of the first water" slang is from Georgette Heyer in the 1920s lolllll Regency Romance is a Fantasy AU and always has been, which is why the way this show has adapted the books to create its own unique Fantasy AU is perfectly in keeping with the Regency Romance vibe!

-I love how relevant Pen's journey is to the plot and themes overall - how you can see the places (in her experience of family and society) her sharp edges come from, but also... her business savvy, her wit, and her decency (demanding a wage increase for the boys who sell her column!). ALSO even with her mother trying to dress her dowdy she still is such a cutie pie <3

[syncopein3d]

Left Alone 5: Bearing Gifts

Tropes/content warnings: M for mature themes overall. vampire whumpee, male whumpee, non-binary caretaker, general morbidity. There will be a lot of play with, and discussion of, the concept of consent in this series, as it applies to many topics. There's gonna be some angst, too. Vampire biting can be painful, platonic, or NSFW and I'm not sure what direction that will take, but Tolly will definitely continue to struggle with the urge to sex-murder Arden, as vampires often do, and Arden will probably continue being depressed enough to be unhelpful with that.

If you would like to be added to, or removed from, the tag list of this series, please let me know!

Part 4: Smallest Consolation

Tolly sat on the rug to look at the dark lantern for a while, chin on his hand. In his mind, he ran back over everything again and again, every tiniest thing he had seen of Arden, every smallest exchange. In spite of what he’d said, he was quite certain they would be back. Someone who would try to reach out to him in the state he was in, who could pity grief in the thing that he was, would not abandon him to waste away in this hole in the ground.

He hadn’t asked if they were alone here. The answer was obvious. There had been no footsteps overhead, no voice raised. There weren’t a lot of places in a town this size for Arden to find other people who would have any idea what they were about beyond “this is a man who looks wrong.”

Oh, he ached to taste them, he hurt in every dried shred of his body. They would perish so beautifully. But now he had to protect them from both his own appetite and their own folly, because if they died, they could never get the Eye of Rule and get him out of here. And then, and then… Well, he’d have to see what it took to persuade it off their finger.

What would Nicholas have done with the ring? He would have wanted his heir to have it, but if his death had been an accident, it could be anywhere. It could be in the hands of some morgue attendant somewhere, and Black Tolly would be stuck here forever in spite of any intention of Arden’s. He couldn’t consider that possibility, not at all. He had to hope. If Arden had already sold it, at least there was a chance they could buy it back.

He watched the basement around the lantern, trying to clear his mind by counting the scratches on the concrete again. Then he wept for a little while, his dry and unbreathing sobs just twitches of his chest and shoulders. He still was torn on whether he should grieve for Nicholas, but he grieved all the same. It wasn’t only that he hadn’t ever drunk from him. It was that he was the last person Tolly had known, and for a long time the only person he had seen. They had often talked. They had known as much of each other as some people would know of their spouses, shared confidences in the knowledge that they would never leave this room.

Tolly wasn’t sure how much of that had been true on Nicholas’s side, of course, if he’d really had that many lovers come and go. He’d never been stupid enough to bring one downstairs. But Tolly had told him things that were true even when he was not compelled, by the end. He would have told him anything he wanted, anything at all to keep him a little longer. It had been pathetic, but now he couldn’t say he regretted it. If he had not done all he could to stretch out those moments, he would have less of Nicholas with him forever, less of him imprinted in unfading memory.

I hate you. I love you. You left me.

He couldn’t let himself repeat that. He looked around for some distraction, and decided to commit the extravagance of reading all of the labels he could see.

There were a lot of labels, and some of them were harder to make out than others owing to dust and being partly turned away from him. He managed to stretch this exercise out until nearly dawn. It was a relief to creep back to his rug and compose himself to his rest in the orderly and ordinary way. He knew he would dream.

He dreamed of Nicholas. They were talking, Nicholas sitting in the chair at the table as his face slowly grew younger, Tolly standing against the wall in the corner with his hands in his pockets as if he didn’t care that he was a prisoner here.

“Where’s the ring?” he asked eventually. “You hid it, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did, Bard. Did I never tell you who hunts those who see the Outside? Surely you must, in all your travels, have met with them.”

“I’ve kept as clear of witchcraft as I could, Nicholas,” Black Tolly said. “For fear of exactly what has happened, or worse. Where is it?”

“That’s not for you to know, darling. Only for whoever comes after me. No one of sound mind would trust you with the Eye of Rule.”

“Well, I can’t say you’re wrong,” he said dryly. Nicholas’s answering laughter rang after him into wakefulness for just a moment. He lay on his back, silent, and for a few moments he wept again. But he could not indulge this for long. He stood up and paced back and forth for a moment on the stone outside of his rug, listening. Footsteps moved above him, faint and distant. He was grateful that his heart did not beat, or the noise in his ears would have drowned everything else.

He stiffened as he heard the door open. For a second, he simply couldn’t move, terrified that it would close again and Arden would not come down and he would be alone. Then, after an eternity of slices of a second, footsteps started to descend and the spell was broken. Tolly moved a polite distance back from the door, one heel touching his rug, forcing himself not to cling to the walls or the chair like some crawling animal.

Arden was carrying a plastic bin that looked almost as big as Arden to Tolly’s curious eye. Arden wasn’t tiny. He would guess they were five feet and eight or nine inches in actual height, if they ever stood up all the way straight (something he had not yet seen them do). But in a tee shirt their arms looked thinner than they should, veins standing out in their forearms without much muscle or fat under them. Tonight’s shirt was black with some kind of eye-searing white band logo on it that he didn’t recognize, a skull pierced by a pair of scissors.

They plonked the bin down in front of the cell, exhaling hard. A quick glance found Tolly and looked away again.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Arden said. “You look creepy when you sleep. That’s, I’m sorry, that’s rude.” They looked at him and away again, clearing their throat. “I brought your pig’s blood, and, uh.”

Tolly waited, every fiber of his being concentrated on the container beside them.

“Thank you,” Tolly said. Arden cleared their throat again at Tolly’s intent, unblinking stare. “Right. First things first.” Arden unloaded a plastic lantern that gave forth a bright, diffuse light at a touch, lighting up nearly the entire basement with a warm glow. They pulled an old ruler out of the bin and nudged the lantern across the threshold. “I need this to see, but you can also keep it for. I don’t know. If you get tired of it being dark.” They shot him an embarrassed look. Tully extended a talon and carefully hooked the lantern within reach, almost caressingly running his fingers over the shade. He tore his eyes from the container that held his salvation with some difficulty.

Make it worth their while. Not just the money. The money isn’t what brought them back.

“Thank you,” he said. The emotion in his creaking voice was not feigned, but under other circumstances he might have made more effort to hide it. “I’ve been in the dark a long time.”

“I don’t know what’s normal for you, so I just brought one of the glasses from upstairs.” Tolly looked up as they nudged over a water glass that he had seen many times before, an old Cristal D’Arques leaded crystal thing with long ridges in the sides. Then came the plastic gallon jug of pig’s blood. Tolly snatched at it as if it weighed nothing, dragging it and the glass back to the farthest corner. There was nowhere in the room that he was actually hidden, but he crouched with his back to the door as he poured the cup full with a shaking hand and drained it. The taste of it was awful. It was claggy and congealing on the palate. But he felt precious blood, precious life, flowing back into himself. He felt his tongue and mouth grow moist again, the surfaces of his eyes slicker, and now he could see more clearly than before.

His stomach hurt, twisting inside him as the liquid hit. As much as he wanted to bolt all of the blood, in his present state he could not. He turned back with much more caution, ashamed of his reaction, wary of the other’s, and sat down against the wall far opposite Arden with jug and glass. Not one drop of red remained in the cup. He didn’t remember cleaning it all with his tongue, but he must have. Arden was paler, but they had not run away.

“Thank you, Arden,” he said. “I’m sorry if I frightened you.” He must have moved unnaturally fast. He knew that he still looked like the same shriveled corpse apart from his eyes. But the voice that spoke to them was different now, a liquid, expert tenor, able to travel from baritone to falsetto and back in an easy glissade if he wished. Now Black Tolly had an angel's voice in a devil's face.

Arden blinked rapidly at him. He watched them swallow, searching for words.

“Don’t thank me,” they said. “You paid me a hundred thousand dollars for around thirty-five dollars’ worth of pig’s blood. Do you want me to put that in the fridge for you with this other one?”

“I will finish this one, but I must go slowly. It’s been a long time,” Tolly said. “If you could put the other one away for later, I would appreciate it very much. Every drop brings me nearer to life.”

“I will. I, I’ve brought some other things,” Arden said, color rising to their face.

Not used to direct compliments. Doesn’t know how to deal with direct thanks. Other people have been difficult for our Arden over these twenty-eight years, Tolly thought. He poured himself a second glass and set it carefully on the stone floor beside him, away from his rug.

“I could return there, but then you would have to look at me,” Tolly said gently.

“I don’t mind,” Arden said. They were still looking at the floor.

Part 6: Regeneration

@fleur-a-whump

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

I’ve seen on Tumblr that Camille wanted to marry Lucile’s mother, Annette Bosdeveix. Do you know what the source is for that and is there anything else we know about Camille and Annette’s relationship? Thank you!

We actually know quite a bit about the relationship between Camille and Annette. Not long ago, eight letters from the former to the latter written between the years 1784 - 1790 were published for everyone to read. I won’t translate them in their entirety here though, both because I think this would get way too long if I did, and because I sometimes honestly can’t fully make out what Camille is trying to say.

Camille and Annette’s first meeting dates back to the spring 1783, when the former is a 23 year old law student and the latter a 32 year old mother of two, married since 15 years back. Camille first spots Annette walking in the Luxembourg garden with her daughters, Lucile (13 years old) and Adèle (9 years old). He describes this meeting in the following verse, dedicated to ”Mme D, who always goes for a walk with her two demoiselles” and published in the l’Almanach littéraire in 1784 and the Affiches du Beauvaisis in 1785:

Everyone stops and says: ”how beautiful she is!” As for me, I’ve never seen her. But that doesn’t stop me from asking: ”is she a goddess or a mortal?” How can I hold myself back, seeing so many attractions, And two doves following her.

(Chacun s’arrête, et se dit, ”qu’elle est belle!” Pour moi, je ne la vis jamais . Sans demander: est-elle ou déesse ou mortelle? Pouvais-je m’y réprendre, en voyant tant d’attraits, Et deux colombes auprès d’elle.)

Camille eventually approaches Annette and the two start talking about poetry and Camille’s literary projets. Annette consults him to meet one M. Neveu, and even fixes and interview between the two. From a letter Camille writes her on July 10 1784 (the first of those recently published) we do however learn that he wants their relationship to go deeper than that:

It was doing you justice to believe that a musician presented to me by your hand could not fail to be preferred to all the ini [sic]. […]My job was to get acquainted with Madame Duplessis, and instead of taking me into her apartment, I was taken to the house of a musician. You will agree, Madame, that this is perfidy. Besides, it is up to you that tomorrow my work will be in the hands of Mr. Neveu, and since it costs you so little to procure it for him, if this little costs you still too much, I will see that you want me to renounce for ever sweeter hopes, and I will confine myself to admiring you from afar in the alleys of the Luxembourg.

The letter does however also make it clear that Camille only sees their relationship as platonic:

That among the authors, you choose the one whose poetry dates only from your walks in the Luxembourg and the day he saw you there, it is a very natural thing and I do not understand your excessive delicacy towards a young man who, for fifteen months, has given you such multiplied proofs that platonic love is not a chimera.

So no, the idea that Camille sought to marry Lucile’s mother would appear to be false. It can also be added that Annette wasn’t the only woman he wrote love verses to around this period, evidently a big interest of his. To a lady present for the divorce trial of one Maître Gerbier, Camille adressed the following verse:

De milles qualités nature te dota; Sexe charmante, sexe si tendre; Par un seul don le ciel nous consola. Il nous fit les plus forts; ce bien ce qu’il nous laissa, C’est le plaisir de te défendre.

In July 1783 he also assured one demoiselles de Compiègne that ”I owe the majority of verses I’ve written this year to you, it’s you who have inspired me.” The same year, the Journal de Paris published a poem he wrote for one Mme de Courve, and the year after that Camille published a similar verse adressed to Mme de La Lande in l’Almanach littéraire.

In 1786 Camille, sad over Annette having parted for her country house at Bourg-la-Reine for the summer, wrote her the following verse:

Me voilà donc après trois ans Toujours à la premiere page Du plus ennuyeux des romans; On m’eût fait languir moins longtemps Si j’avais été plus volage. Je le disais, et cependant, Pour vous voir encore un instant Je volais sur votre passage; Et quand vous fuyiez de ces lieux  Les pleurs qui coulaient de mes yeux Soutanient bien mal ce langage  Ce n’est point cette majesté Et cette taille de déesse Et cette grâce enchanteresse Et ces beaux yeux, quand la tendresse En adohcissait la fierté Que je vais regretter sans cesse. Mais que j’aime à vous voir sur le déclin du jour, Sous un ombrage solitaire À vos enfants souriant tour à tour  Insensible au charme de plaire, Insensible aux plaisirs qu’offre l’amour, Ne goûter que ceux d’être mère Ah! Lorsque l’encens le plus duox  Sur la terrasse vous appelle, Pourquoi vous éloigner de vingt cercles jaloux? D[uplessis], est-ce, dites-nous, Crainte d’alarmer un époux? Est-ce honte d’être la plus belle ? C’était ces regards si touchants,  Ce son de voux si doux, cette mélancolie, Ces fleurs que vous jetait Julie; C’était ces deux boutons naissants  Près d’une rose épanouie, Qui m’ont conduit à vos genoux Et m’auraient fait trouver si doux  De passer près de vous ma vie. Il vous eût peu coûté de captiver mon cœur Vous voir est plus que posséder une autre, Et je pensais que faire mon bonheur Ce serait ajouter au vôtre.

One year later he asked Annette and her husband Claude if one day, when his financial situation had improved, he could marry their oldest daughter, a request that was rejected. Camille did however not give up so easily, in March the same year he wrote a letter to Claude refuting all of his charges as to why the idea was a bad one. When that didn’t bear any fruit he instead tried to influence Annette, which gives us the following letter from December 5 1787:

[…] Judge if the noise of this carriage pleases me, when it warns me that you are driving your daughter into the world where she is going to find so many admirers. Thus will all my dreams vanish. Do I dare, however, Madame, to remind you of what you told me, that you would put no ambition in the choice of son-in-law, and that my profession seemed to you quite honest and quite noble. This is what inspired me with some confidence. Must you take away from me today a hope so dear to the attachment that I have nurtured for so many years to come out of my heart with hope! […] I beg you, Madame, do not read this letter to your husband, with whom I would still pass for a madman, it is to you that I am writing it, to you who do not return my letters to me and that I I never left, without leaving your presence, if not full of contentment, at least full of patience. Shall I not have the pleasure of conversing with you at least sometimes? […] I found verses printed and maimed in provincial notices which I had addressed to you; I take the liberty of sending them to you and of renewing my homage to you. Will you do nothing for your poet?

On March 4 1788 he once again writes to Annette to inform her about his first real success as a lawyer, hoping that might persuade her to hand over her daugther:

[…] Once you have read my memoir, and compared it with the feeble consultation of Me Fournel who nevertheless enjoys such a great reputation, I dare to imagiene, Madame, that you will forgive me for having also hoped for some consideration; and that you will forgive me for having nourished another much more cherished hope, remembering that M. Duplessis, a year before yesterday, did not even demand that I should become a famous lawyer in order to obtain Mademoiselle Duplessis. Now this hope is weakening every day, I see that everyone has the same eyes for your daughter as I do, it seems to that in every moment someone comes to ask for her hand. I am waiting for my justificatory memorandum which will finally fix my fate and make access to you either open or closed forever. The encouragement that has sustained me most in this work to which I have sacrificed all my business has been the hope of presenting it to you. Is it possible, Madame, that when the image of happiness that I find with you detaches me from all societies and makes them bland and unbearable, you never tire of pushing me away from yours, which would take the place of the whole universe?

But twelve days later we find another letter from Camille, where we learn that Annette had once again responded with disapproval and even asked him to stop vistiting her house:

What harm have I done you for you to treat me so harshly? And how could a letter which I wrote only to persuade you offend you and draw such a bitter response from me? I don't want it to be your fault if I conceived a mad passion, but don't we owe anything to those who are made to suffer even without our fault? Could you not make me understand in a less mortifying way, that there was madness in my pursuit, that the disproportion of fortunes (which I only knew about yesterday) was an insurmountable obstacle; you would have seemed to pity me, and I could not have complained of you, on the contrary, I would have thanked you for the care you took to prevent a disastrous passion, I would have believed myself well treated; for you know better than anyone that it takes very little to make me believe it. Sometimes you have really put my self-esteem to severe trials! One does not die of spite, if so I would have already have died a thousand times. But all it would take is a glance, half a smile, to bring me back. Even today, at this moment, all my self-love is incurable! I am trying to reconcile the harshness of what you have just written to me, with the very different speech that you gave me, and I am trying to interpret it favorably. It seems to me that the remedy you employ is either too violent or too little. It's up to you to make yourself lovable anywhere other than at my place. Is it just a defence? Or is it not also a permission? Forbidden to make myself friendly in your eyes at your place, permission to make myself friendly, if possible, in the Luxembourg. This is what it means to be a lawyer. […] This leads me to believe that your answer does not carry a permanent banishment, that was what you repeated for me in the Luxembourg, not at the moment, and besides, it's still a letter that I received from you, which is something. You see Madame that I am laughing and crying at the same time. Thank you, one more word from you. Or, treat me so harshly that you force me to hate you and even your demoiselles; or, if your feelings have not changed since the conversation I had the honor of obtaining from you in the Luxembourg, refuse me permission to come to your house now, so as to give me the hope of one day obtaining it.

After this, it would appear the two cut contacts for a while. In a letter dated October 27 1788 to his best friend from school Pierre Jean André Grasset, Camille spoke disapprovingly of the whole family, even accusing Annette of wanting to seduce him:

I always continued to chase the same hare, the mother lured me into the house, the father promised me his daughter, gave me his word of honour; the girl made me think she wanted me; a few days later came a terrible storm which threw me far from the door, farther than ever. […] I could not imagine that by courting the girl I had pleased the mother, and that she wanted to take a chance on me; I could not trust the rascal of a servant who went home to me to invite me to take lodgings in the apartment next to theirs, that the girl was flirtatious, that it was was the mother who liked me, that I would succeed. Today the scales have fallen from my eyes; but then I thought they wanted to test me, a new promise to give her to me, a new rupture.

Camille and Annette picked up contacts again in 1790, with Camille sometimes even being invited into the apartment again. Camille was once again hoping to be able to marry Lucile, and this time he started using the contacts he’d gained as a journalist to impress her parents. On April 15 he writes ”It was M. Linguet I showed you this morning through my window,” and two weeks later he told her that Mirabeau and Emmery were coming to visit their country house at Bourg-la-Reine together with him. Annette was however still hesitant, causing Camille to grow desperate:

(April 14 1790) If you knew what trap has been laid for me, you would have compassion for me. I can clearly see that I am no happier in friendships than I am with love… It is not that I believed for a moment in calumnies; it is thus so, I said to myself, that they slandered me to Madame Duplessis, it is by these artifices that they closed their door to me. However, I was only asked to suspend my judgment, I was to have some clarification this morning for which I would be grateful. I went to look for it and saw only a gross conspiracy against my happiness. I don't know who to trust in the world anymore. Madame, you have sometimes shown interest in me, have pity on my situation; I no longer dare to come to your house, three times I have been refused entry, but deign to give me a moment's interview to unravel this riddle for you, and don't think that I could ever believe that Mademoiselle Lucile and M. Duplessis deceived me so cruelly. Virtue and sensibility have a physiognomy that art does not counterfeit. I distrust all men now, but something tells me that my trust would not be betrayed if I place it in you without reserve. […]This number which belonged to you, since you had it made for me in such a short time, you had the cruelty to send it back to me without wanting to read it.

(April 15 1790) Your note would be an answer to my letter, if it was to alarm you that I had asked you for an interview. I read there this answer: of such kind as the calumnies of which you speak, they are so devoid of verisimilitude that it is impossible for them to shake my security, and yet it is useless to grant you the interview that you ask for. But, Madame, it was for me that I requested this interview. It is for me alone that I beg you to have compassion. After seven years of the most constant and most unfortunate passion, at least leave me the sweetness of thinking that the beauty I loved was worthy of being so idolized, that I only have myself to blame, and not nature, which has not made me the one who was to touch her heart. I can no longer be happy, but to be less miserable I need someone to convince me that I was not used as a toy... […] Madame, you have given me marks of interest which I oppose in the bottom of my heart to all these thoughts which sometimes arise there, according to which you amuse yourself by tormenting my life. Add this new brand of benevolence. Grant me an interview, I beg you. Despite all the harm you have done me, I believe that Mademoiselle Lucile's heart is modeled after yours; I think they are both excellent. You don't want to remember that day when you promised me the hand of your dear daughter, or when you assured me that you could dispose of her heart. Why did you promise me what was not in your power? For what? […] What have I done that could have made me be refused three times at your door? If only you knew how much these refusals humiliate me, drive me to despair. I felt terrible last Saturday night. I implore you, Madame, to at least grant me an extraordinary interview today.

(May 10 1790) […] Did you notice how Mademoiselle Lucile sent me away cruelly yesterday? But you must always admire her more and more and she must be allowed to have a little pride. I really hope that now at least, I have no more new talents to discover in her, if she has any that I still don't know about, please hide them from me. I kiss your hands; for Mademoiselle Lucile there is no way to kiss hers even with gloves on. However, Madame, you are so much loved. What hurt you yesterday has hurt your celestial Lucile so much that if you wanted to take my interests to heart, I would hope for everything. Forget what she forbade you.

But on December 11 Annette and Claude finally agreed to let Camille marry Lucile (I’ve not been able to discover he exact reasons for their change of heart), and as can be seen through the following letterCamille sent his father the same day, Annette was happy with the decision:

This charming Lucile, whom I have talked to you so much about, whom I have loved for the past eight years, at last her parents give her to me and she does not refuse me. Her mother just came to tell me the news, crying of joy. […] When her mother told me a moment ago, she brought me to her room; I threw myself on Lucile’s lap; surprised at hearing her laugh I open my eyes, hers were in no better state than mine, she was all in tears, she was even crying profusely and yet she was still laughing. I have never seen such a delightful spectacle, and I would not have imagined that nature and sensibility could unite these two contrasts to such an extent.

Eightteen days later Annette and the rest of the family attended the couple’s wedding.

After Camille had gotten his Lucile, no more letters from him to Annette are conserved. We do however know through several other pieces that they remained close afterwards regardless. After their marriage, Camille and Lucile moved to 1 Rue de Théatre Francais (today 22 Rue de l’Odéon), just a two minute walk from Lucile’s childhood home on 22 Rue de Condé. From the diary Lucile kept 1792-1793 we see that Annette was a frequent visitor to the house. Annette also got to know some of Camille’s collegues, such as Danton, who Lucile asks her to give her news about in a letter dated February 16 1792, Fréron, who nicknamed her Melpomène and came to visit their country house, and Robespierre, who she might have planned to marry off her second daughter to. When Annette’s husband was arrested as suspect in January 1794, Camille protested against it both at the Convention and in the Vieux Cordelier.

Once Camille himself was arrested, Annette was reportedly in despair. In his third and final prison letterto Lucile, Camille reports the following:

Last evening my heart broke when I saw your mother in the garden. A mechanical movement threw me on my knees against the bars; I clasped my hands as if imploring her pity, she who moans, I am sure of it, in your bosom. Yesterday I saw her pain, in her handkerchief and her veil which she lowered, unable to bear this spectacle. When you come, let her sit a little closer with you, so that I can see you better.

Camille thought about Annette too, in the same letter he reports about this dream he’s just had:

Heaven took pity on me. Only a moment ago, I saw you in a dream, I embraced you in turn, you, Horace and Daronne (nickname for Annette) who was at our house. […] Farewell Lucile, my Lucile! My dear Lucile! Farewell Horace, Annette, Adèle, farewell my father!

After the death of Camille and Lucile, Annette worked together with Camille’s old friends and collegues Brune, Duplain, Panis and Fréron to get back Camille and Lucile’s confiscated effects and make sure their son Horace, who she adopted, got a good education. She evidently didn’t blame Camille for her daughter’s death, as she in 1800, when writing to Lucien Bonaparte to ask for the disbursement of the pension for Horace, voted through four years earlier by the Conseil de Cinq-Cents, said that his father was ”Camille-Desmoulins, this hero of republican humanity.”

That it was a glorified image of his father Annette provided her grandson with is also proven through a letter Horace wrote in 1822 to the editor Barrière, claiming that his father had never written anything called l’Histoire des Brissotins, in reality a pamphlet essential in the purge of the girondins…

Sources for everything that doesn’t have a link to it: Camille et Lucile Desmoulins: un rêve de république (2019)

[ghost-proofbaby]

the epilogue!! I hadn't even had chance to gush about hour 24 and the epilogue is already here! both are just so amazing. I'm actually really glad for the time difference because I have woken up in the best mood now because of this🖤🖤

Him coming straight back for her in the last hour was just perfect. They get thier movie moment and it's so satisfying, 'I'm not very good with giving you space, it seems' 😍 very Edward Cullen 'I'm tired of trying to stay away from you' and I mean that as a huge compliment because I really did love twilight back in the day 🙈 And then the way she kisses him in between talking smack about him, just like he did to her the first time! Think this was my favourite part, besides her slapping Steve and Eddie immediately becoming scary dog. Or maybe Steve getting all flustered at the thought of them doing stuff. All of it was just perfect. Did the ending change for you as you continued writing, or did you have it planned that way from the beginning? I love how he uses the same line from the prologue, 'the feelings mutual' don't mind me, just swooning over here 🖤

And then the epilogue! Awe my gosh it was the perfect mix of everything that's happened in this fic. The pining and yearning is still there because they're hiding it from the others, both of them wanting to just come clean and be out in the open with eachother but not being ready. And her hiding how she's in love with him now. Hiding it from their friends because she's still hiding how she feels about him. Genius. And then the humour and just how well they fit together and how they sass eachother. I love it so much. Plus the smut 🔥 the best part of the smut, the part he was more desperate for than anything else when they were in his kitchen. Loved that you did that. Hot and romantic all at once 🖤

Eddie being so worried about keeping it from Nancy was really sweet, it makes it really clear that their friendship is such a good one, like when R says later on about them combining the best parts of eachother. Plus Nancy just knowing that things had changed. Maybe due Eddie's sudden lack of pining about R to her. Or just that it's in her nature to notice things. It's a really great part of this story, Steve and Robin's friendship is obviously written a ton due to the show, but I really like how you gave Eddie a similar platonic relationship of his own. I also like how Nancy confirms that Eddie talked about her a whole lot, even when sober. mainly because of Steve saying to her during that phone call that Eddie didn't really talk about her at all, it just wasn't to Steve.

The photo! 😍 Aaahh this was so precious. Him mentioning pictures especially at the phone shop and then him choosing that photo as his lock screen, he's just so slushy for her I can't stand it. found it hilarious that he purposefully let her wear his shirt to meet them, maybe wanting her to be the one to out them, but then it's him showing off the phone 🤣 and then neither of them are really sorry for it. My heart is bursting!

But. My absolute favourite part of this was the flashback to when he goes to get her, how she explains that she doesn't want or need to start over. That their past is just as important as their future and they shouldn't disregard it or forget. Not to hold on to the awful parts but because it means they know eachother now. At least that's how I take it, her saying that felt just as important as her 'I love you'. Making him realise again that even with all that they went through she'd never want to forget him or not chose him, like he was so worried about from the very start. It was the perfect thing to say to him. Such great writing, honestly.

I can't believe it's over already! You should be so proud, 100% not too much or unrealistic. Perfect. I'm so glad we all watched a random Netflix show and it inspired all this. Can't wait to get stuck back into Mordor and catch up. Much love! 🖤🖤

bat 😭😭😭

i can’t explain how much your long comments have always made my day, not even just with this fic but with shire as well. the fact you take time out of your day to let me into your brain after you’ve read just makes my lil writer’s heart so happy. it’s like, i kinda cracked open my skull and went “hey, here’s what’s inside!” and you just don’t hesitate to do the same right back and gah 😭 thank you so fucking much. i adore you.

there is so much to say here, but you pretty much hit all of the nails on the head. yes, 1000% i adored giving nancy and eddie that platonic friendship similar to robin and steve (nancy deserves to have more guy friends who aren’t turned into love interests in my opinion), i loved writing how eddie and r’s dynamic both changed but also really managed to stay the same, and i really loved bringing that flashback up. i think that’s the important part: they can’t erase that night. it’s part of their story. if i were r, i wouldn’t want to erase it — eddie may have already been in love with her, but that night was her getting to fall in love with him (or at least begin to).

as for the question of how the ending changed… the short answer is, no. i always knew i wanted to end with them on a good note. choosing each other despite all the shit that went down.

but the long answer? yes, it changed so very much. originally, hour 24’s events would be the epilogue. originally, the final hours between those two were going to be very angsty. for a very long time, eddie’s confession was going to be very different. a lot more vague and lot more left unsaid. there was meant to be an entire hour that would only be a singular line of “eddie didn’t return to the apartment for the entire hour.” in which he completely walked out on her after indirectly admitting he was in love with her.

the honest truth is i got more attached to their story than i had planned. similar situation has happened with mordor. i tend to plan a lot of my fics to have fairly sad/angsty endings, and i’ve always been that way as a writer in every fandom i’ve ever been in, but something about eddie makes it impossible for me to not give him a happy ending.

in every timeline, in every universe, in every situation — i just want to give him a happy ending.

and maybe some of my fics would be more epic or impactful if i stuck with those sad endings, but i think eddie went through enough in canon, and i think real life is cruel enough as it is. i think we all deserve soft epilogues. i think eddie deserves them, those of us who write him deserve them, and those of us who read the stories deserve them. idk. i’m getting a little overly sentimental but… yeah. i think i just want to write 100 happy endings for this fictional idiot, probably more, and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do.

cheers to the fact we all decided to watch this random netflix show, and cheers to all the beauty and wonderfulness, all the love, that has come from it. 🥂🖤

[misscrazyfangirl321]

for whumpbois! 7, 8, 12, 16, 24

7. What ships are canon in this au?

Okay, let's see if I can remember...

Maleficent/Diaval

Will/Helen

MacGyver/Riley (2016)

Possibly Neal/Kate, but unconfirmed

Peter/Elizabeth

Aurora/Philip

Also there are nods to the whole past Grimm love square (Juliette/Nick, Juliette/Sean, Sean/Adalind, Adalind/Nick). Adalind/Nick are together in the fic, though, and Juliette/Sean m i g h t end up together. Unsure.

Monroe/Rosalee.

8. What platonic relationships are important in this au?

SO MANY. So Many. But in particular....

Peter/Elizabeth's friendship with Neal

Mozzie's friendship with Neal

Jack's friendships with both Mac and Riley

Nick's friendships with his teammates

Helen and Elizabeth (Lascelles, not the Elizabeth from Elizabeth/Peter)

And of course, the stars of the show: The platonic relationships that grow between the Whump Bois, Neal, Mac, Nick, Will, and Diaval.

12. What's your favorite line from this fic?

Nick clears his throat. "Look, we're all in this together. Cop, thief..." He glances at Diaval. "Bird." Yep, that's going to take some getting used to. "We're all stuck here, and we're all going to have to work together to get out. Okay?"

16. Are there any ocs in this fic?

I mean, the people who captured the Bois are technically OCs, but I'm not very clear on their motives. Or personalities. Or anything.

24. Ramble about something you haven't gotten to talk about yet.

OKAY SO LISTEN. Listen. Is this fic just an excuse to whump a bunch of my favorite whumpees together? Yes, yes it is. Will I probably have to yeet Diaval if I actually write this, just because his world Does Not Fit With The Others? Yes, yes I will. But listen. Listen. People who are naturally distrustful of others being forced to trust each other in order to save the people they care about.

Listen. Listen. Guys with vastly different secrets and skill sets being forced to work together and immediately going "Okay we're buds now" while their teammates slowly try to get a feel for how much they should trust one another.

Listen. Listen. A heist/whump fic with friendship, found family, and threads of romance all woven together.

!!!!!!

[eldritchmochi]

b m u y ! letter ask game

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

i fully blame seize and gem for getting me on the shadowidomauk train, regardless of the teif personality. seize especially has me in a chokehold re: their lucien and essek combo in one of their fics, which i have not read nor do i even know if its been posted but they keep sending me snippets like MOCHI YOU WILL LOVE THIS IT HAS ALL* YOUR KINKS and by dog they're right (*it is not actually "all" this is impossible as i have Too Many Kinks but)

also gem's essek-owns-a-boujie-coffee-shop au that has shadowidomauk as end game is cute as shit im sorry gem that i haven't had the spoons to edit more (its so good aaa)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i answered M with "ashton" over here in this post the other day but another character i would want to be friends withhhhhhhh hmmm lets say asterion. no i have not played the game but from the lore i have absorbed via cherry he is very much the kind of gay i would have fun having catty gossip with while also being the sort of rock for him to lean on and like..... not therapy him i hate being peoples therapist but the immovable object he can bounce trauma off and figure out How 2 People again. i think he would appreciate my bluntness and the way i set clear, explicit boundaries but am otherwise unflappable, and i would certainly appreciate his humour, and we can bond!! over the whole being ace as a result of trauma!! :D

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

answered U over here with ashton, kylo, and bucky over here but lets do it again!!

lets kick it off by going Old School with the Original Husbando ^TM: vash the stampede. you have no idea how jazzed i am about the new trigun anime (no i have not watched it i merely enjoy the smut on twitter) because vash is like, my og blorbo. did i have blorbos before? yes, kind of, but my Wants in a man* (*fictional character) had not yet developed so they were but proto-blorbos. vash tho... he has it all: tall pretty boy happy go lucky twink who is secretly Full Of Trauma but shoves it down super hard by being just so upbeat and goofy, and just really wants..... love and peace lmao. a lot of my blorbos historically have similar vibes in the "puts on an act to cover deep severe trauma" way lmao

next up: more anime i guess, but modern: i honestly super fucking love all might???? like SO MUCH he is such an interesting character and i desperately want to read fic of him grappling with his severe health issues alongside his image as a hero AND his mentoring of midoriya (preferably with that guud guud smut, but i have no clue who i'd ship him with, i only got two seasons in lmao). unfortunately, everything i like about him isnt even in cannon its just stuff that i, a cripple, can extrapolate from the worldbuilding and lil snippets we get of him but MAN i am o b s e s s e d

third!!! more comics: loki, specifically the agents of asgard loki. i am 100000% planning to cosplay that loki (i have the hair after all) and i am very excited because he is just so very Gender. it was the first time i saw a genderfluid character in mainstream media and his "i AM gender queer, i IDENTIFY as a bitch" like is something i quote constantly to describe my gender. also hes just such a dick who is obviously trying to do better and unlearn bad habits and god, i dont remember specifically what its about but he has a big fight with his earthside contact roommate buddy helper person over something and then comes crawling back and does this big speech where he talks about how he knows hes a fuck up but he's trying and he values her friendship so much even if he's been shit about showing it and it is chefs kiss

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

dragon age. just... i know so much vague dragon age lore from listening to cherry talk about it because it is their BIG love for video games (pending bg3..... not sure if itll overtake da but theyre very sad they cannot play it again til monday lmao). i absolutely instigated a convo with someone on okc asking if xyz thing was a da reference and i was rIGHT it secured me a date lmao

similarly, mass effect, batfam stuff, haunted mansion, nbc hannibal (dont ask me why its a fandom in law still i cannot explain), s8 infinity (???? i only know matcha blossom), the final fantasy mmo, taz......

you can ask me more of these letter questions!! i have much time to spare!! maybe!!!

[jayfortheday]

Music Lessons (Chapter 3) (Eddie Munson)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Jock!M!Reader (romantic), Lucas Sinclair/Reader (platonic)

Word count: 1053

Description: Eddie gives Y/N his first guitar lesson from the back of his van

Tags: crushes, musician Eddie, music lessons, guitar playing, nsfw implications

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie chuckled to himself under his breath and held out his hand to help you into the van. You tried your best to fight the rising color in your cheeks as you reached out your hand and slotted it in Eddie’s. Once he had a hold on you, he pulled you up into the truck, a little bit faster than you were ready for. You trip a little bit on the rough, black carpet covering the interior of the van, but recover quickly enough to avoid an actual fall. Eddie pretended not to notice in order to help you preserve your already bruised dignity.

Eddie picked the black guitar up from its position against the wall and rest it in his lap. He looked towards you and nodded his head towards the white guitar. You glanced between it and him before you took the hint and brought the guitar over to you. You held it in your lap, mimicking how Eddie held his. You struggled at first to find a natural position for the instrument to sit. It had been years since you had last held any sort of instrument. Music classes weren’t a requirement at Hawkins High, and none of your family members played anything, so you just as much attribute it to a lack of opportunity as much as a lack of interest. 

Eddie watched you struggle intently before resting his guitar against the van wall and getting up. 

“Here, like this,” Eddie hummed as he placed his hands on yours to maneuver them into the correct positions. The pace of your breathing quickened slightly as his calloused fingers held onto your hands. He brought your right hand to the center of the guitar, hovering over the strings, and your left hand up to the top of the guitar’s neck. “There, lookin’ good already.”

“Um, thanks,” you mumbled, coughing to clear any immediate sounds of hidden arousal from your voice. 

“Alright,” Eddie sighed as he sat back down and picked up the guitar. “Do you have literally any guitar experience?” You thought for a quick second before shaking your head no. “Don’t worry, we can work with that,” Eddie assured you. “I’ll just have to start with the basics.”

The remainder of the lesson was overwhelming. Eddie was a much different teacher than you had expected. The way he talked carefully, yet not condescendingly, or the pleased look on his face, when you got it right, made your heart flutter and your cheeks redden. Moreover, Eddie’s constant gentle touches of your skin and the physical encouragements of patting your shoulder or ruffling your hair left an insistent heat in your body as the lesson wound down. Either he didn’t realize what effects his actions were having or he knew all too well, and you weren’t sure which was worse. 

“I think that’s about as much as we can cover right now,” Eddie said, as he relaxed his hands from the position of an A chord. You blinked a couple of times before setting your borrowed guitar down next to you. 

“Sounds good, man,” you replied, trying your best to keep a level voice as you allowed the excitement of the lesson to begin to die down. 

“So,” Eddie started. “You said you’ve never really played before. So why start now?” You quickly scrambled to think of an answer that didn’t involve you or a guy I like. 

“There’s just someone I met recently, and I thought, ya know, that it might be nice to-” Eddie cut you off. 

“So, it’s for a girl?” He smiled. His face didn’t look like one of mockery, more just playful curiosity. You paused before saying,

“Yeah, it’s for a girl.”

“Don’t worry, man, I’ll teach you some of those pop love songs girls like, and you can woo her all you want,” Eddie laughed, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Actually,” you smiled, crossing your arms as well. “I kinda think she’d be more into rock music. I’ve heard that’s kinda her thing.”

“Oh, well rock music, I can certainly teach,” Eddie responded. “That’s gotta be almost all my tapes by now.” Eddie reached into his pocket as he spoke, pulling out a small white stick that took you a moment to recognize. Eddie noticed you staring at it. “Oh shit, sorry man, you smoke?”

“Oh, yeah, of course, I do,” you lied. You were almost confident Eddie would have been chill if you said you didn’t smoke, but at some level, you wanted him to think you were cool in some way. Eddie smiled before picking up a lighter you hadn’t noticed off the floor and lighting the joint. The smell was almost immediately suffocating and you had to fight hard not to cough. Eddie was barely phased as he breathed in the smoke. He offered you the joint, a small smile on his face. You took it from his hand, not quite sure how to hold it but doing your best to mimic what you saw him do. You brought it up to your lips and did your best to take the smoke into your mouth without actually breathing it in. 

Alas, your attempt failed, and a large cloud of smoke entered your lungs and immediately burned your throat. Not even your best attempt could keep you from coughing. You extended your arm away from you and practically thrust the joint back to Eddie as you coughed harder than you could ever remember having done. Through your coughs, you could hear Eddie cackle behind you and feel his hand rest on your shoulder. 

“You don’t actually smoke, do you,” he asked. There was no more hiding it, you shook your head as your choking began to die down. “Don’t worry about it, man, it’s not for everyone.” He patted your back, like a mother helping a child clear their lungs, and opened the van door a crack to air out the space before sitting back down. 

“How ‘bout you head back home and get some fresh air?” Eddie suggested. “Find me during lunch tomorrow and we can talk about setting up another lesson, ok?” You nodded enthusiastically, the occasional cough still blocking your speech as you got up to leave the van. Eddie smiled as you stepped down. “See you later, L/N.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: yall im so sorry its been so long, school is finally out and I'm now getting back into the flow of writing so I'm sorry for the short chapter 😭

[boypussydilf]

BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy

BACON METTUCE TOMATO

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.

if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.

sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.

[spotforme]

@not-equippedforthis thanks muchly for the tag! (i didn't wanna add to the chain 'cos i feel like i'll ramble, but hipefully this is fine) (also not sure if i should've tagged you, but again, it's fiiine. hopefully)

Three Ships: (sence it isn't specified, i'm gonna assume this means three ships that i would die for/ currently like a lot and that they can be a pairing of any kind)

firstly comes the cracksip so strong that it came to life [by curtesy of the show] it is, of course, bickmettler! the life consuming dynamic of writer & poet, chiken farmer & worm watcher, brown & blue eyed Bicky and Rocky!

the second place (at the moment) goes to Charles and Honoria Winchester! they are so sweet to eachother, trying to help the other through rough times, but they're both alone in their worlds. Charles is the most ace character ever and i love his posh attetude to everything. i have never met or even seen Honoria, but she is adorable (definedly on par with Honoria Glossop on toughness) (i hope it's very clear i'm talking about platonic love here)

third place was a hard choise, but in light of my brainrot, it has to go to Reginald Jeeves and Berthrum Wooster. however one chooses to interpret it, the adoration is always there, and very apparent; witch makes things they do very pleasant to observe

First Ever Ship: i don't remember and don't think i was even familiar with the consept at the time of it occuring. my best guess is propably some my little pony dynamic

Last song: (last song of what? why are these so vague? [i cannot know The Last song] i'm just gonna decide for myself then) the last song i put to mind was Honorable Madam by Daniel Kahn and Vanya Zhuk (at the moment i can't remember how it goes, but it had to be good, i don't think i would think it was if it wasn't)

Last Film: (it would make sense to credit the latest film i watched. now just hoping i can remember what it was) (well as it happens, i have been sitting here, trying to remember if i watched something in the past two weeks, but can't) by gum! it just came to me, the last film i watched was Sisulla Ja Sydämellä

Currently Reading: (i'm not currently reading anything except for this post thst i'm writing) if i had to name one of the books that i have started (because i am not gonna go through of listing them all, that would be a nightmare) the best would be Ammatti-vakoilija (or maybe vakooja? i don't have it with me so i can't check) (originally Spion Für Deuchland, i think)

Currently Watching: M*A*S*H (re-watching, actually), i am desperetly trying to figure out the time-loop situation. and oh boy, it's a lot. three years have already gone by within the first season. i'm also making my way through the rest of granada's Sherlock Holmes

Currently Consuming: i veto this guestion

Currently Craving: water, long sleep and the woods

righty-o then, i should think that's all.

[jimilter]

on the borderline — 02 | pjm.

Park Jimin has been your buoy, your anchor and the ship of sanity that guides you to shore amid storms of self-doubt, nearly all your life; as have you been his. That is not to say nothing has ever brewed beneath the surface of platonic friendship, or that the two of you have never been victims to mistiming. Regardless, you would never risk the friendship you have with him now for anything. Even if you have to hurt him – or even yourself – in the process.

pairing: jimin x reader

rating: m (18+)

genre: humor | fluff | friends to lovers!au

word count: 7.7 k

— warnings: swearing + unresolved sexual tension + mentions of therapy + commitment phobia + innuendos in an office setting + really lame humor, again + some dark humor, again + sexual thoughts (pertaining to ass-grabbing, wet panties, choking, dick sucking) + jimin and yn being annoying bffs to each other + yn does not have a crush...on anyone...bec she's above crushes (but she's also a pathological liar so take that w a grain of salt) + a new (potential) love interest has entered the scene (:

— note: idfk why some bits of this fic are so hard to write??? but anyways, i took 3k words of unnecessary chatter and cleaned this part up. so much more satisfied w this than the mess it was yesterday, smh. anyyyyways, this is a burfday post - guess whose? hehe 🥺 hope y'all like the interesting turning of events in here and prepare yourself for the major twists coming w the next chapter! drop me a word~ 💜

ps. the rating, genre and warnings mentioned above pertain to this chapter, only.

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𝐈𝐈 ⇢ 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ♪ you give to me, everything anything that i could dream

“That wraps up all the major delegations,” you announce to the organizing committee gathered around the table before switching to the last slide of your presentation which displays, in a large font – ‘The 2G-Spot’, “and brings us to the last discussion of this meeting – our keynote and our guest of honor.”

"Wait, we still don't have them finalized?" Jackie, the Senior Sales Executive, looks at you with confusion in her gaze. "What happened to the names Zac and I picked out last week?"

You gingerly pull yourself a chair and delicately sit down, eyeing the three anxious faces around you in trepidation. This is gonna cause an uproar. Clearing your throat, you quietly inform them: "Boss man rejected them all." 

Three gasps echo around you

"What?" Zac, your Social Media Manager, cries out with more than a little drama, both his arms spread apart and face contorted in a grimace. “I picked out forty-three people and Jackie shortened the list to twenty-seven. How could he not like one profile?”

“None of them fit his criteria of hitting the 2G-Spot.” It feels weird even as you say it, and the three pairs of questioning eyes that oscillate between you and the characters on the screen in absolute bewilderment make you clear your throat in discomfort. “He needs a glam guest and a genius keynote. A g and another g. The 2G-Spot. It’s not—” You break off with a puffed out exhale. “Don’t make me talk about it, please.”

Lea, the final member of your meeting of four, and the company’s Sales Strategist pats your back in a comforting gesture. But her eyes look absolutely soulless when she meets yours. “I can't imagine how that meeting must've gone… My brain's dying a slow death, one braincell at a time, just reading this. Did he not see the euphemism? Or did he intend it?"

You just shake your head, honest to God clueless.

She blinks. "Not that it makes much sense otherwise either, because what the heck does glam even mean?” 

“Does he want some model to sit in as our guest?” Jackie squints at the screen, tilting her head as if the words will present you all with an answer if you look at them hard enough. “Does our boss hate us, guys?”

"No other way to explain whatever…this is.",

“I don’t think he hates anybody, he just wants us to – learn. Through hits and misses. And grow.” Lea scrunches her nose up in an evident display of how much she believes her own words.

“Oh, I'm learning alright. Learning how many blood pressure spikes my body can handle everyday before I succumb to heart failure under duress. Is that what he wants, Lea, is it?” Zac definitely carries the most amount of dark humor in your team. 

You just exhale, because this is pointless. This cribbing about your boss is helping no one. 

So although you more or less agree with the sentiments being thrown around, you don't participate in it. As the Sales Manager, the mess that was last month's sales is partly your responsibility. Marketing and Advertising shoulder the blame, too, but you were also at the center of it. 

This workshop, being organized as a result of that fib, thus, has to be perfect and exactly how your boss wants it to be.

“Guys, I know it looks unfair,” you begin consoling your disgruntled team, “but I’m sure Boss is just being careful. Remember how meticulous he was with the selection of all the experts for different sections of the workshop?”

A grunt, a sigh and an eye roll. Wow, enthusiasm is rife in your office today. This won’t do.

"Guy, guys. Stop.” You raise both your palms up and three long faces turn towards you, disappointment pulling them down. “We don't get to do this. Let’s not forget the reason why this workshop is even happening in the first place – we ventured a new product into a new market and it absolutely crashed.” 

You clap your hands together, drawing attention to the seriousness of the topic. 

“We couldn’t sleep properly for days when the numbers started coming in. Remember? We need to think about how much worse it must have been for Boss. He had to answer his investors and even the media because of how huge the launch event had been.” 

Lea’s back straightens at that. Jackie’s pout turns into a frown. Zac finally stops scowling and presses his lips into a concerned line. Wow, are you a good leader or what?

“What we can do, here, is coordinate well with Marketing and Advertising for this event. Help make it a learning experience for all. Find our faults and correct them before the next product launch, so that we don’t even have to play the blame sharing game. How does that sound?"

A collective, uplifted sound of agreement echoes around the huge conference hall. You smile, proudly.

“That’s what I like to hear. So. Let's begin by breaking down the implication of the word glam.”

Zac turns his laptop towards you. “We could bring in our brand ambassadors? We've got an A-list model and a daily soap actor with us. They can be glam, right?”

You look at two pictures on the screen. Both your brand ambassadors are definitely glam. But you somehow don’t believe this is what your boss wants. Besides, what would they even say in their mandatory speech? 

“Um, I was thinking more of a customer,” Lea butts in when you’ve been silent for too long. “It can be a fun activity to engage with our consumers. Select someone that has used our products for a long time and ask them to talk about their experience with the company at the workshop?”

“I feel like that’d be a bit too attention grabby,” Jackie points out before you can, and you nod because you were gonna say something along similar lines. “Not to mention, a complicated ordeal to execute less than two weeks before the event.”

"We can push the date back if we really need to," you remind them.

“Agreed with what Jackie said, and also, Lea?” Zac clicks his fingers in front of the girl's face. “We sell bulbs. And a guest that can talk about bulbs at an event cannot be called glam, by any means. At least in my dictionary.”

Chuckling, you slowly nod because they’re all correct on some level. Lea looks at you with a sigh. “I’m out of ideas, then.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the strategist? Use your skills, dude,” Jackie prompts her, which has you standing up to turn off the projector.

“Alright, guys, listen up,” you call for their attention. “We have another hour before work begins, so how about we privately brainstorm some ideas and later discuss ’em?”

You’re just making your way back to your seat when a throat is cleared at the door to the conference room, followed by the sound of knuckles rapping against the glass doors. Your gaze flies up to catch the intruder because you weren’t expecting anyone – and freezes in surprise.

It’s Kim Seokjin. The CEO’s cousin. The gorgeous, model-esque guy who doesn’t work here and yet frequents these offices more than some of the employees. The only person in this building that is literally everyone’s favorite. 

Well, more like everyone’s crush, to be honest.

Not you, though. You’re above crushes. 

You prefer to be an objective admirer of the breadth of his shoulders, the plumpness of his lips and the symmetry of his facial features. It’s just an aimless appreciation of his looks that you expect nothing out of. You would have tried to sleep with him, though, if Jimin hadn’t yelled at you about it being a bad idea.

Seokjin's blindingly good looks, though, are not what has you gaping at the man like a fish. It's actually his presence here, right now, outside the conference hall which is the only occupied room in your office building right now, while the rest of it awaits the arrival of the company’s employees, an hour from now. You wonder who made a social media post about you all being here early. That is the only way Seokjin could have caught wind of your meeting.

But you especially wonder why he has decided to show up. You didn’t know he knew you existed. But now he’s looking straight at you, gaze expectant and lips smiling softly.

“Oh my God, is that Seokjin?” comes an astonished whisper from Jackie, which launches you into action.

Quickly blinking, you pull a grin upon your face and walk up to the door, letting the really tall and really broad man into the huge conference hall that he manages to somehow belittle by his form.

“Good morning, Mister Kim,” you wish pleasantly but with an undercurrent of confusion in your voice. 

Wait, is this the first time you’re talking to him? Why do you feel like a fangirl, right now?

Didn’t you just establish you’re above crushes? Where’s your maturity and detachment at?! Wow, liar.

“Hey,” he says to you with a grin, waving his fingers in a butterfly wave as he walks in. “Your guy Zac posted an Instagram story about you being a hardass that made him wake up at six, so I decided to come in earlier and see what it’s all about.”

Your head snaps to shoot an icy glare at Zac, who just swallows and focuses his wide eyes upon the table. 

Seokjin, meanwhile, takes a seat next to the guy. “Good morning, guys. Hope I’m not disrupting your meeting sesh.”

A cacophony of ‘not at all’ and ‘our pleasure’ bursts around you as you look on in surprise. While you make your way back to your chair, your team has filled Seokjin in on your dilemma of the moment, for some reason. You wonder if they have interacted with him better than you have.

"Would you look at that," Seokjin begins after they're done, looking towards you with a smile. His gaze is kinda piercing. It's kinda hot. "You guys encounter a problem and the solution walks right into your meeting!"

You're…confused. What problem does he think you're facing? Given the lost looks on your team members' faces, they don't seem to have any idea either.

"Uh, Mister Kim," Lea begins with a frown, "what…solution…?"

He gives a scoff, chuckling as if he finds Lea's joke very funny. Except, you don't believe she was joking. "Come on. Can there be a better fitted glam guest of honor for your event than yours truly?"

Your jaw slowly drops open, stuck in unsurety because you can't tell if he's being serious or just putting you through some impossible to understand test. But Zac is leaning away to eye Seokjin with a contemplative look on his face, already.

“You, um, you will have to say a few words about the company,” you finally speak up, lashes fluttering in unnecessary self-consciousness against Seokjin’s strong stare. “Some good things. And also about the failed product…a little…”

Seokjin shrugs. “Sounds simple enough, I can do that.”

He can?

Jackie suddenly excuses herself, before getting up and dragging you to the other side of the hall too. “This is a great idea, why are you hesitating?” she hisses at you. “There’s no way Boss will reject his own cousin, ma’am!”

That much is true. “But does he even really know what we do here at Sales?” you whisper your doubts back, which makes your sales executive roll her eyes.

“Of course, he does. He’s here all the time!” He is? When? Does the guy actively avoid you or something? “Come on,” Jackie goes on, “let’s give him his moment to shine. We have nothing to worry about even if he messes up – Boss will have to take charge. Not that he will mess up.” Jackie looks over her shoulder and grins at the other three. “Man loves to talk. He’ll be good as the guest.”

At the end of the day, you remind yourself, it’s just a company workshop. No outsiders, no one to impress but the CEO.

Seokjin is a workable idea.

You finally nod in agreement, which has Jackie clapping once and then joining the group at the table. Before you can join them as well, Seokjin’s call of your name has you stopping.

“You need a keynote, too, right?”

Tentatively, you move your head in a nod. “Uh, yeah… We’re – we’re looking for an industry expert from Marketing, Advertising or Sales itself.”

He squints at you. “Your friend that is here every other week… isn’t he Geisha Global’s Regional Director?”

Jimin?

This dude knows you’ve got a friend that you regularly meet up with after work – and what said friend does for a living? What? How? You’re beginning to wonder if Seokjin just doesn't loiter your hallways out of boredom but is in fact some sort of a detective working for your CEO.

Flustered, you try to formulate a response, “I, um, yeah, but—”

“Brilliant! He’s the director of an ad agency, he’ll make for a fantastic keynote for our little event!” Seokjin gets up and forwards a hand for you to shake. 

And you obviously take it, because his fingers are so long, palms so huge, and—oh. His hands are warm, too. Before you can stop yourself, you’re envisioning them wrapped around your throat. And then grabbing your ass.

All that, while you still haven’t said a word about Jimin’s participation in your workshop that you’re more than certain he’ll refuse to, because your best friend despises public speaking. 

What the heck is wrong with your horny brain, today?

Your team is looking at you with wide, shocked eyes. Damn, they didn’t know who your friendly, flirty, people pleaser friend is professionally. And now the questions will never stop.

“He’s generally a very busy guy, I hardly even get to see him lately.” Your last night’s clothes are still at his place. You're turning into a pathological liar. “But… I’ll try to catch him in a chat about this over the weekend. He might not have time on his schedule to be able to come, though, but…"

“In that case," Seokjin picks up your incomplete sentence, "maybe you should give him a heads up. You guys are friends, I'm sure he'll prioritize you asking for a favor if you give him enough time."

Is it just you, or is this conversation unbelievably weird?

It probably is just you, though, because everyone is looking at you with an expectant gaze again. Shit, the pressure is physically pressing down on your chest the longer they stare. It's as if they're reaching in to pull your intestines out, your stomach starts to churn so badly. 

People's expectations ruin your life because you can't freaking say no.

Coughing, you discreetly press a fist against your collarbones and clear your throat. Yeah, people's expectations cause you breathing troubles. Your therapist deserves a fucking raise for dealing with you. But because you just had an appointment last week, you’re gonna have to dump your stress over Jimin, the second this meeting is over.

“I’ll – I’ll talk to him after work. Arrange for a meet-up whenever he has the time, explain everything about the workshop.” 

You're lying again because you plan to meet him during lunch hour today, if he's available. You briefly wonder if you are the one with a lying problem and not Jimin, before nodding at the hopeful faces looking at you. 

"I'll tell you guys how it goes. Although, next week might really be a short notice for him."

“Hey, didn’t you say Boss will allow us to push the workshop back if need be?” Lea squints at you and you resist the urge to smack a palm against your forehead. Why did you have to tell them that? “We’ll do that if Jimin wants us to. Oh, should I be saying his name like that?” She winces.

“Please do.” There’s a grimace on your face that you can’t turn into a smile despite your best efforts because what a mess. “Please do.”

"It'd be really cool to have Jimin at the event," Zac murmurs with a small smile, sparkling eyes looking at you hopefully. "He's always such a comforting presence…"

"Yeah, he really is," Katie adds with a nod, eyes similarly glittery.

And you nervously swallow. For all the bravado and the general badass energy you claim to walk around with, it's hilarious how you can never say no to people. No matter how wild the expectations, you're always willing to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone. Which is fucking crazy!

You wonder how you've survived corporate jobs and promotions without sucking any dick. Maybe you're lucky to not have faced truly lecherous people. 

The point of the matter being, you feel like you're gonna have to drag your best friend to the workshop if these guys pin so much hope onto you. 

Seokjin suddenly claps his hands together with a large smile on his face.

"That is wonderful!" he exclaims, as if he has anything to do with this workshop at all. This man would have been so freaking irritating if he wasn't so damn handsome. Sigh. "Please convince Jimin to join us next week?"

Oh God, now he has a shimmer in his eyes too? Why are these people doing this to you? 

“I – I’ll talk to him… No promises, though, guys—”

“I’m sure he won’t say no to you,” Zac says to you with a sage smile that makes him look twice his age and makes no sense to you. “You guys are best friends.”

You awkwardly nod, unable to figure out a response. You fear noisy breathing sounds would come out of you if you opened your mouth. So you keep your lips sealed and stealthily reach into your bag to extract your phone. 

Texting Jimin cannot wait till after the meeting, you're minutes away from hyperventilating.

Text Message to Min 🌟 ↳ SOS ↳ meet for lunch today?

The response comes within five seconds, and you’re so fucking thankful your phone was on silent. He’s generally very busy, yeah right.

Text Message from Min 🌟 At my office @ 1 Bring pizza From the eatery down my block Pls 👅 ** 🥺 I MEANT 🥺 I SWEAR

Why is your best friend a literal clown? You immediately lock your phone and slide it into your pant’s pocket, holding in the snort that threatens to escape. Well, at least his typo has caused you to breathe easier now.

"That officially concludes this meeting, I guess," you finally say, voice a little tight as you avoid everyone's excited gaze by looking at your laptop. You clear your throat with pursed lips. "We have twenty minutes before work starts, so grab a coffee or some breakfast if you skipped this morning."

Your team, along with Seokjin, bounds out of the conference hall like enthusiastic children, leaving you behind to slowly collect your stuff. You do so with a sigh, already dreading the conversation you will have to have with Jimin.

“I have been blindsided.” Your best friend is frowning at you, hands crossed against his chest petulantly as he leans back in his revolving chair. “This doesn’t sound SOS-y at all."

You exhale. “Jimin—”

“No, first of all, where’s my pizza? Second of all – why would you suggest my name for a public speaking stint when you know I don't like public speaking? Neither of these acts exhibit best friend behavior.”

“There was a mile long queue outside of your damn eatery, okay? And my break lasts thirty minutes, so—”

“Your company isn’t strict on lunch timing, don’t try to fool me.”

“—so, I ordered your pizza online and it’ll be here in the next five minutes.”

He shuts up that, lips curving up in an excited smile. “Hey now, why didn’t you lead with that? I would’ve been more understanding.”

Your eyebrows rise up in expectation.

“Which means I would’ve rejected you softly, instead of yelling at you.”

You deflate again.

“No, don’t get all pouty on me. You know about my weird introversion about public speaking.”

“It’s called stage fright, stop making up new shit.”

“Case in point – you know I don’t like it. Why didn't you say no on my behalf? You’re my best friend, you should be on my side, not your company’s.”

Keeping the way Jimin is dramatically making this a bigger deal than it really is aside, you’re getting irritated at his claims upon your friendship. You do know he doesn’t like it, which is why your immediate thought when Seokjin brought him up was that he won’t agree to do it. You tried to dissuade them so many times, citing Jimin's non-existent busy schedule. Where's your credit for that attempted resistance? Nowhere! Instead, the guy seems to think you had a hand in encouraging this.

"I didn't say no because no one would believe me if I told them a company's Regional Director isn't fond of public speaking." You eye him, askance. 

"That feels oddly offensive…"

"Jimin. Be fucking for real. You speak at events, like, every week. What's one more added to the pile?"

"I do that because I'd be out of a job if I don't," he bemoans, eyes shut and face crumpled like a toddler's. "Public speaking as a favor is a completely different exercise that I do not wish to participate in, nuh-uh. Pass."

“What if I’m out of a job because I couldn’t persuade you to come?”

He gapes at you. “It cannot possibly be that serious, babe, it’s just an office workshop!”

“You know what my boss is like – every fucking thing is a huge fucking thing for him,” you grouse, shaking your head.

“Is there no one else you could think of, though?”

Okay, yeah, that’s enough. You’re gonna have to tell him it wasn’t your idea because this is getting irritating. Seokjin’s name gets you earfuls, so you will avoid mentioning he was the one who instigated this, but you can at least tell Jimin that it wasn’t you.

“I didn’t bring up your name as a prospect, Min,” you finally clarify upon an exhale, watching the way his eyebrows slowly start to furrow. "It was…suggested. Because you’re kind of famous, you know? And people at my office know you.”

He leans over the table, a crease in his brow. “You didn’t? Then who did?”

You wave a dismissive hand. “They’re not important.”

“They? Are you being ambiguous or is that their pronoun?” He squints into space, mumbling something to himself, and then shakes his head. “Nope, you don’t have a non-binary coworker in your department, you’re just being ambiguous. Which – a lack of representation. Ask your HR to look into it, okay?"

Scowling, you shake your head at him. "How can you possibly know that?”

“Babe. I know everyone in your department.” He gives you a flat stare. “By name. So, spill. Who was it?” His eyes suddenly widen, glee spreading over his face slowly. “Wait, is it Lea? Your sales strategist?”

Ugh, he’s really on a first-name basis with your entire department. It’ll take him minutes to go down the list and you'll have to lie to get out of this. Or just tell him the truth and face that lecture on why seducing Seokjin is a bad idea.

You shake your head with a resigned sigh. 

“Given how she’d looked at me with really wide, shocked eyes, no." With an eye roll, you rest your face on a palm and lean on his desk. "I don't think she even knew what you do for a living… Much like the others.”

“No? Oh.” He slumps back in his seat, lips downturned. And then he sits up again with renewed joy. “Ooh, wait, is it your sales exec? Katlyn? Katie? She always says hi to me, right? Wow, she’s kinda hot…” He leans across the table with a wide grin. “Tell you what, I’ll agree for the keynote thing if you set me up with her.”

“What? No and no, Jimin! You can't date people from my office!” You scoff at the guy when he rolls his eyes. “I mean you can’t date, period, but you shouldn’t even hook up with people from my office."

Jimin gives a drawn out groan, ever the dramatic bitch. “Why?”

“Because.” You shut your eyes and massage your forehead. “Because it’ll make things weird for me.”

“Weird? Why?” He wiggles his eyebrows, a smirk on his lips. “Do your colleagues think we're a thing too?” 

You read forth to flick at his forehead. 

“Ow, what the hell?”

“Yeah, what the hell? No, they don’t, Jimin. And it’s not Katie, okay?”

“FIne, okay, so then who was it? Why’re you being so mysterious about it?”

He is looking at you through narrowed eyes now, peering into your very soul. And immediately, your brain rushes to compare his stare with that of Seokjin’s for no other reason but to ruin your already tiresome day.

Seokjin looked at you with pretty much the same intensity as Jimin, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. Whereas your best friend seems to be scrutinizing you as if you’ve been placed on a slide under a microscope. And yet, the alternating warm and cold currents that run through your nerve endings right now affect you worse than Seokjin’s flirtatious smiles did.

Oh God. The morning’s rush made you almost forget about your recent sexual awakening regarding your best friend. Ew, sounds gross even in your head. 

But now that you have reminded your brain of the same – including the innuendo-infused face-off you two had in the bathroom and the wet dream that you had last night – it decides to conjure up all these scenarios where Jimin gives you this exact stare, but in an atmosphere with a dimmer, warmer lighting and few to no clothes on your bodies.

Oh. God.

Desperate to distract yourself from witnessing what is sure to be a very embarrassing x-rated video featuring you and Jimin in your head, you resort to initiating the one conversation you planned to avoid when you came here.

With clenched fists, you stare at the back of Jimin’s laptop, and exhale in a rush: “Okay, fine, it was Seokjin.”

Jimin draws away from the table, back flattening against his chair as if shoved by the force of your words. You just focus on your breathing while you wait for him to respond, strictly keeping your eyes away from his person and trying to fill your head with work-related, appropriate thoughts. 

“Kim Seokjin?” Jimin finally mumbles, pulling your gaze to his frown. “Your boss’ cousin, Kim Seokjin?”

“Do you know any other Kim Seokjins?” you grumble, crossing your arms against your chest in irritation.

You’re being unfairly cranky because it’s not even Jimin’s fault at this point. You’re the one with a malfunctioning, horny brain which keeps making you feel like a teenager, Jimin’s just living his life.

So you exhale in resignation, and nod. “I mean, yeah. That’s the one.”

“Dude,” he begins in an accusatory tone, shaking his head at you, “you're totally trying to use me to impress him.”

Rolling your eyes, you resist the urge to groan in frustration. “Impress him? For what?”

“Didn't we establish that your crush on him was a bad idea because you shouldn't sleep with your boss’ cousin?”

This time you let the groan escape. “I am not crushing on him anymore, Min! I just…like to look at him from a distance, just some objective admiration…”

Jimin blinks at you. “That's what a crush is.”

“Absolutely not! I respect him and like how he looks, without any unrealistic expectations and imaginary scenarios.” You shrug your shoulders, trying to act nonchalant in the face of the imagery of Kim Seokjin’s gorgeous hands on your throat and/or your ass. “Just some friendly admiration, as – as I said.” 

“No, you said objective admiration.” Jimin goes back to observing you like a specimen under a microscope. “And to me, that still sounds like you wanna sleep with him.”

“Untrue, it’s just—”

“Well, do you wanna date him, then?” He raises a brow, a weird eagerness spreading across his face as if he wants you to say yes.

Maybe he actually does, maybe this is him hopping onto the ‘I will convince you to get back in the dating game’ bandwagon again. God, he’s so annoyingly persistent.

“No, Jimin, no way in hell.” You glare at him. “Okay, you know what? Everyone else backed him up too, so I'm not tryna impress just him. The others in my department want you to be there, too. They even talked about pushing the date back to accommodate you.”

“Aha! So Katie does remember me!” He claps his hands and rubs them together. “See, soulmates.”

“You literally called her Katlyn twice…” You deadpan.

“Ah, that's a minor blip that I and Katlyn—Katie," he corrects with a wince. Then clearing his throat, he grins at you again. "I and Katie will work through it, don't you worry."

“Jimin. Please. Everyone will really love it if you’re there. Zac even said you’re a comforting presence…”

He frowns at you. “Zac? Ellis? Oh man, does he still think I was flirting with him that one time? Please clarify it to him that I’m straight, Y/N!”

“It was you that told him and Jiah that story about you hooking up with a guy in college, Min,” you remind him with a giggle, resting your chin on a fist to wiggle your eyebrows at him. “What did you expect to gain out of that, if not an admirer?”

Jimin seems to get a bit serious at that. “I… Well, they just looked kinda tired, sad and uncomfortable, you know? So I thought I’d cheer them up a bit with a fun anecdote…”

His response is so genuine and so wholly him, that your heart goes out for the guy. You reach forth with your free hand to pat the back of his own. “I get it, buddy. But you don’t have to always comfort everyone. You need to think about your own comfort and happiness at times, too. What you need, instead of always taking care of what others need from you.”

He looks at you with wide eyes and then slowly nods. “What I need, huh?” he mumbles, blinking with so much innocence in his gaze, it’s uncanny. “How about that pizza I asked for?”

You lift your fingers off his fist and bring them back down in a snap. Can never have a serious conversation with this for two seconds.

“Ow!”

Checking your phone for the ETA with a roll of your eyes, you hiss at him, “Will be here in less than three minutes. Asshole.”

He just giggles, entirely gleeful and not one bit sympathetic about your predicament. And then he surprises you by getting up and squeezing your shoulder. "I'll think about it, okay?

Eyes going wide and lips curving up, you jump out of the chair to hold him by his forearms. "You will?"

"I said think," he corrects you, but there's a resigned smile on his face which tells you he's gonna say yes. 

"That's good enough," you hurriedly tell him before engulfing your best friend in a bear hug. "Thank you, thank you!"

"You are really not welcome to this again and it absolutely won't be my pleasure," he grumbles into your shoulder.

You wack him on the back, and relax in his grasp, silently asking to pull away. "That's enough emotion for a week, Min…"

He throws you away with a scowl, but there's no real heat to it. You laugh at his irritated face, settling down again to fill him in about the details of the workshop so that he can prepare his speech.

Barely into your discussion, the pizza arrives. You two share it while you discuss some points he wishes to make in his speech. 

When you finally take your leave, his secretary is on the phone right outside his office doors. You wave at the girl you know is a sweetheart, and she absently smiles at you.

That is when her words register to you:

"...lunch with his girlfriend so we had rescheduled you for three o'clock, but he is available now, if you wish to meet-up?"

The girlfriend part gives you a pause but doesn't really shock you, because now you know what goes on at Jimin's office. What has you stopping completely in place and frowning – is the postponed meeting part. Did Jimin cancel a prior engagement to make room for you?

Whipping out your phone, you shoot him a text. 

Text Message to Min 🌟 ↳ did u have a lunch meeting?

His response takes a while, only pinging your phone when you've exited the building and are getting into your car.

Text Message from Min 🌟 Uh 🧍🏻‍♂️ You JUST left my office??? And we had lunch together? So I'd say yeah

↳ no smartass ↳ i mean a scheduled one

Min 🌟 Well Kinda? But it's no issue, I got it pushed to 3

↳ it is an issue w ME! ↳ see this behavior is exactly why your office thinks we're dating ↳ why would u push back a meeting to have lunch w me???

Min 🌟 Because you literally told me it was an SOS situation!

↳ oh

Now you feel kinda dumb. You made the guy postpone a meeting because of a situation that was a lot less than an SOS, if you're being honest. But he should know you're prone to exaggeration.

↳ i'm sorry?

Min 🌟 Are you apologizing for having lunch with me? Because I will physically tackle you to the ground and make you take it back 😠

Your best friend is insufferable but also really fucking cute.

↳ apologizing for delaying your meeting ↳ and causing u to stay longer at the office potentially

Min 🌟 It'll be fine with me if you need to grab your stuff from my place and run home while I’m gone

↳ yeahhhh was kinda hoping I could do that 😬

Min 🌟 You never have to think so hard with me, grumpkim <3

Ew, what the hell is that?

↳ …tf? ↳ is this a new nickname you're trying?

Min 🌟 Yes!!! Isn't it adorable? Like pumpkin cause you’re cute but grumpy because that's your natural state of being :)

↳ okay one - i am NOT grumpy, just a lil short tempered ↳ which im working on rectifying ↳ and two - no cheesy nicknames bw us hello??? u yelled at me for calling u bestie once!!!!

There isn't a response for a while, so you start your car and drive back to your office. You're ten minutes past the lunch break ending, but just as Jimin said, one of the only redeeming qualities to your boss is that he isn't hard about lunch timings.

It's when you've settled into your cabin and have pulled your phone out to keep it on your desk that you notice Jimin's response.

Text Message from Min 🌟 You were friend-zoning me with the “bestie” tag How am I supposed to flirt with you if you do that?

You can’t help the snort that leaves you. This is so on-brand of him, it’s almost funny. 

↳ soooo “grumpkin” is flirtatious?

His reply comes instantly: 

Min 🌟 It can be if I want it to be ;)

You hate the way that stupid freaking winky face makes your cheeks warm. 

This is your childhood best friend, for fuck’s sake! What the hell is wrong with your brain? 

The longer you stare at the text, the warmer your face feels. And the warmer your face feels, the hotter your heads get.

At the end of a whole minute when you are beginning to feel how Bruce Banner must feel right before his transformation, you grab your phone and lock the screen, leaving your best friend on read. But that doesn’t feel quite enough, so you jerk a drawer of your desk open and toss the stupid device with your stupid best friend’s stupid text into it.

Just as you have shoved the drawer close, Jackie, passing your office by right that moment, stops to raise her eyebrows. “Need a mallet to deal with that?”

If you could take a mallet to your stupid brain and beat the stupid parts with the stupid thoughts about your stupid best friend out of it, you would take Jackie upon her stupid offer.

The next few days are normal, but…very strange, at the same time. 

Normal on the front that work goes back to the usual. No unwanted, tiresome meetings await you at the office, your boss having been really satisfied with the final choices your team submitted for the guest of honor and keynote appearances at the workshop next Friday. Sane working hours leave you feeling productive and a lot energized. 

The strange part comes in the form of one Kim Seokjin.

Guy’s been sort of hovering around you lately, and you don’t exactly hate the attention. You’ve decided you’re not gonna “fuck and chuck him” like Jimin has told you not to. Mostly because your best friend never butts into your love-life (read: the academic roll of people going through your bed, but anyways), while for this one guy he has been screaming at you to not do it, every chance he gets. 

You’re gonna respect that. And also, you get what he means. Fooling around with your boss’ cousin with no intention of getting serious has the highly delicate risk of complicating things at your workplace a bit. Or more than a bit, depending upon how badly you deal with it – and you usually break your own records of how badly you’re dealing with an ex-lover.

So. You’re not gonna sleep with Seokjin.

But, you’re absolutely giving back your one-hundred percent into the dangerous smirks and heavy glances he sends you any time you meet his gaze, which you find yourself doing a lot of. You’re not breaking any rules if you present him with the hope of possibly pursuing something, right? And who knows? You might actually end up dating, too. Finally break the freaking fast!

It’s strange but also strangely fun doing this, if you’re being honest. And also, this whole back and forth is kinda helpful in keeping your mind somewhat off of the x-rated thoughts your brain has recently found out it loves conjuring up about your best friend. Like, seriously, you feel like you need a fucking mental intermission to get your brain to recover from the constant overdrive it has been riding around in for nearly a week now. It’s exhausting when you have to ward off a variation of the same repetitive thought twenty times in a single hour.

Your interactions with Seokjin have helped a bit in that regard, dwindling it down to five thoughts an hour, Which is a lot workable, so you call it definite progress.

But, despite all of that, this feels wrong to you. 

You’re not necessarily betraying Seokjin, right? You don’t even know if he is as much into it as it seems! And who is to say that you aren’t? You could date him if you want. Jimin would be so proud! What the hell is your problem?

You wonder if this is just a psychological repulsion born out of your self-imposed ban on dating? In the way that you have gotten so used to steering clear of anything touching the themes of ‘romance’ that your mind now detects those thoughts as something negative?

In all honesty, you ought to be feeling negatively about all the way your imagination has been running wild about Jimin. Those are the kind of thoughts that stand to harm your deep and profound friendship of years. 

But what do they do, instead?

Leave your panties wet. 

It is when emotionally available, interested in you and not a childhood friend that you might lose forever Seokjin brushes past you with a meaningful smile that you get this sense of foreboding. As if you shouldn’t be allowing this to happen between you and a perfectly handsome, well-natured, intelligent and funny guy.

Why aren’t you scared of losing your best friend but wish to hide away from a guy you should be fantasizing climbing up?

It could be because you know Jimin is safe. As in, nothing will come out of having thoughts about him because you will never act upon him. But with Seokjin, things are tangible. If you give him signs, he might actually pursue you with a seriousness that might actually, really, factually lead to a romantic entanglement.

Wait… so this is basically your commitment phobia making your life difficult again?

Sure sounds like it.

Your ex should be burnt in fucking hell. And your therapist definitely deserves a raise, damn.

So aside from the whole whatever the fuck you’re doing with Seokjin, the days following Monday go by pretty normally – until, that is, things take a turn.

The first wave of change hits you on Friday.

Zac Ellis comes into work late and somehow catches your boss’ eye. Which leads to your boss unnecessarily giving you all an hour long lecture on the importance of punctuality. Which, in turn, makes you all stay an hour late to finish up the day’s tasks because it is the end of the week.

By the time you finally get to leave, ten minutes later than your team as is the curse of a Team Leader, you are dead on your feet. Dragging yourself out of your cabin, you yawn with your mouth thrown wide open and eyes squeezed shut, allowing them to water. You are dreaming of cuddling under some blankets with a heating pad between you and the cushions because your back hurts like a bitch.

Your colleagues don’t seem to share the sentiment, though, because the six pm clock out time gives them the idea of going out for dinner together.

“Guys… you should go on without me, I’m really tired,” you politely tell them, shaking your head when Lea pouts at you. “Seriously. I would if I could, but I just want to get into bed and sleep for ten hours today.”

“Ah, understandable.” It is Seokjin that speaks up, emerging from the group to smile at you. Yep, one of those secret smiles that seem to convey more than what is visible. “Some days ask ten hours of sleep out of you.”

You give him an awkward chuckle, unsure how to maintain a civil conversation with the guy with all the heavy gazing from the past three days. Especially in front of the entire Sales department. 

“Yeah…” You lamely nod, watching as the crowd of people begins to shuffle away from you and towards the elevators. 

Seokjin looks at you again, kinda smacking you in the face with his good looks with the way he gives you a lopsided smirk. One of his eyebrows arches up and it’s certain death to your brain, because the damn organ forgets to work your lungs and your oxygen supply just cuts off.

“I hope this wasn’t due to…” He trails off and steps closer. You just started breathing again but now you wish you hadn’t, because his cologne is delicious and makes you want to sniff him. Fuck. “Was it?”

You quickly shake your head to assure him. “No, no! Absolutely not, please trust me.” Forcing a smile upon your face, you thickly swallow and will yourself to not break eye contact. “I really am very tired.”

“I was looking forward to having dinner over some casual chat with you, but… I understand.” He smiles at you fully.

It doesn’t feel nice saying no to such a friendly, harmless invite. To a group gathering, too. But because you are sincerely not kidding about the kind of pain your body is in, you grimace at the man. “I am truly sorry, Seokjin. Raincheck?”

If he finds your sudden usage of his name odd – because you are pretty sure you have never said it out loud before; and it has been well-established that your brain is a dangerous place so whatever happens up there doesn’t count – he doesn’t show it. But your response makes his eyes glimmer a little, and his smile turns serene. 

“That is quite okay,” he tells you with a wave of his hand. “How about tomorrow? Just us? That Korean BBQ place down the block?”

You blink, a bit taken aback by the sudden invite. “Uh…”

“My treat.” He smiles conspiratorially, and you wonder if he thinks that the prospect of free food is enticing to you.

Like, of course it is, but of course he shouldn’t know that.

You take a moment and then shrug. “Sounds good to me. What time?”

“I’ll text you.” 

He waves as the two of you get into the elevators with the last of your floor’s members, and you wave back with a small smile that matches his own.

It is when you are pulling your car out of the building that it hits you. 

Just us… My treat… And that smile? Dude just asked you out on a date!

i, he didn’t specify the word and it may as well actually be a friendly dinner, but… It is definitely going to be a dinner with benefits. Fuck.

And you said yes because you are the biggest dumbass of the century.

“He wasn’t thinking about free food, you absolute idiot!” you yell at yourself.

Your mind immediately goes to Jimin. 

What would he say? What would he think? Theory says he will be over the moon, but also… this is Seokjin and the dinner could still be a dinner-with-benefits thing and not an actual, official situation, so.

You really don’t know what your best friend will say.

But you really care about what it will be.

God, you need to call him as soon as you get home, fuck your back!

“Ow!” a pang of pain runs across the small of your back as you accelerate away from an intersection.

Okay, no, not fuck your back. Nap first, Jimin immediately after.

© jimilter | 2022

links to be updated at a later date!

[untitled-little-pyramid]

Stay for a Minute

NEXT CHAPTER

Pairing: Platonic Phoenix x Bob

Warnings: Language, minor PTSD

Summary: Phoenix tries to not rely on others, until Bob shows her that she doesn’t have to carry her burdens alone. (Chapter 1/5)

Author’s note: I was underwhelmed by the amount of Phoenix and Bob content I could find, so I decided to write some of my own! I love the dynamic between the tough girl and the shy guy, and thought more about how they learned to lean on each other when they’re not in the air. Takes place during the events of TGM, this will be a multi part mini series. (P.S. This is my first fic / OP ever! I’m still learning how Tumblr works, hopefully this works out haha) 

“And you feel no pain? Blurry vision? Headaches?” the doctor asked. 

Phoenix sat numbly on the hospital bed and shook her head. 

“Good, your vitals came back normal but we’re going to keep you overnight for observation.”

Phoenix nodded silently again. As the doctor made his way to the door, she spoke for the first time since landing – falling from the sky, her mind corrected her –  “Is Bob okay?” her voice came out hoarsely. 

“Yes, he’s fine. A couple scratches, but nothing serious. Is there anything else I can do for you Ms. Trace?”

“No, thank you.”

The doctor nodded, “Try to get some rest.”

Phoenix scoffed internally, knowing that there would be no way that she would be able to sleep peacefully that night. She should have been tired, exhausted even, after the day of training. But the adrenaline from the bird strike still coursed through her veins. Still, sitting here in bed wouldn’t make time pass any faster. 

She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep but for the next hour, she was only restless. Seeing the warning lights flash in the cockpit and replaying her all of her attempts to regain control of the plane, over and over again. 

Phoenix opened her eyes when she heard footsteps approaching. It was Maverick. “Captain,” she said, sitting up straight in her bed by habit. 

“At ease, Lieutenant. Glad to see you’re alright. Will you be able to fly tomorrow?” Maverick asked. 

Phoenix nodded, “Yes sir, the doctors gave me the all clear–”

“I already spoke to the doctor, Phoenix. I know that you’re physically alright. But do you think you’ll be able to fly tomorrow?” he questioned. 

Phoenix hesitated for a second. Her anxiety from the bird strike was still lingering, but it would be gone by tomorrow right? It had to be.  “Yes sir.” she said. 

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Maverick turned to leave but stopped himself. He couldn’t ignore the look of hesitation that had passed over Phoenix’s face, or the barely-there presence of fear in her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He remembered the first time he had a near death experience, and the only person that had gotten him through it: Goose. 

“You’ve got yourself a good WSO, Phoenix. You should talk to him.” And with one last nod, he left. 

Not a moment later, Payback and Fanboy knocked on her door. 

“Can we come–” Payback began to ask but cut himself off when Fanboy bounded over to Phoenix’s side. He threw his hands up and gave her a look that said I tried.

Phoenix chuckled as she leaned over to receive Fanboy’s hug. 

“Phoenix, thank god you’re okay. We were listening in over the radio and just when we were relieved to hear that Coyote came to, Maverick shouted, ‘Bird strike!’ and then–”

“Mick,” Payback interrupted, “She knows, she lived through it.” 

“Right sorry, anyways, here,” Fanboy said pulling out a bag of peanut M&Ms from his flight suit pocket, “I saved you these, I remembered they’re your favorite.” 

Phoenix pretended to be shocked, “For me? I’m getting one of ‘Fanboy’s flight suit foods’?”

That made the duo laugh, a much needed comforting sound. The three of them shared the M&Ms as Fanboy recounted a story about the time a chocolate bar melted in his flight suit, making it look like he shit his pants. 

“My squadron considered changing my callsign that day, the list was endless and brutal,” Fanboy said. That’s when he noticed that Phoenix hadn’t said anything in awhile. She stared into space, mindlessly rolling an M&M between her fingers that were now starting to turn green from the food coloring. Fanboy shared a quick concerned look with Payback. 

Payback cleared his throat, “Hey, Phoenix. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” 

Phoenix was brought back to reality, “Sorry, what did you say? I spaced out for a second.”

“I was asking if you’re okay considering–”

“And just like a phoenix, she rises from the ashes!” Hangman’s voice broke through the tension of the room as he strutted in, Coyote following closely behind. 

Phoenix ignored him and acknowledged Coyote instead, “Coyote, that was a close call. How’re you doing?” 

“I’m a bit spooked but I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. How are you doing?”

“Can you both do me a favor and try not to flirt with death during training exercises? That’s my job,” Hangman said, sticking a toothpick between his teeth and winking at Phoenix. That only earned him a scowl from Phoenix, an annoyed groan from Payback and Fanboy, and a shove on the shoulder from Coyote. 

“Anyways, we’re gonna go visit Bob. Let us know if you need anything, alright?” Payback said as he stood to leave the room with Fanboy. 

Phoenix nodded, “Thanks boys. Tell Bob I’ll be over to visit him soon.” 

Now that his only audience was his best friend and Phoenix, Hangman’s demeanor shifted. “What happened up there?”

Phoenix fell back on her pillows and let out a huff. “Dumb ass bird strike. A dumb ass bird flew into our engine. I couldn’t save the plane.”

“But you and Bob are fine, that’s what matters,” Coyote pointed out. “You’ll be flying again as soon as you’re discharged right?” Phoenix nodded. 

“Good. I’m glad you’re okay. All three of you,” Hangman said, surprisingly. 

It was a rare moment to see the tender side of Hangman. Unlike many others, Phoenix never doubted that it was there, hidden beneath layers of bravado. If only it didn’t take her ejecting from a burning plane to see it. She savored the silence of the moment, which Hangman probably would have cut short with some cocky comment, if the hospital intercom hadn’t beat him to it, announcing that visiting hours for the day were now over. 

Hangman and Coyote bid their goodbyes, and Phoenix was left alone. That’s when she realized that Rooster hadn’t come to visit her. It hurt her a little bit, but ejection situations were a touchy subject for her best friend. Add an estranged godfather to the mix, and the situation was even more sensitive. Phoenix shook her head to herself. She loved Rooster, but he needed to get his head on straight if he was going to be picked for this mission. 

They both needed to get their heads on straight. Exhaustion wasn’t going to help with that. Phoenix closed her eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. 

“We’re on fire! We’re on fire!”

“Phoenix, Bob, punch out! Punch out!”

“We’re going down, Phoenix! We’re going in! We’re going in!”

“You can’t save it, eject! Eject!”

Phoenix pulled and pulled on the ejection handles, but they wouldn’t budge. 

“We’re going down! We’re on fire! Eject! Eject!” Maverick and Bob’s voices overlapped as she continued to tug on the ejection handle. Why wasn’t it working? The plane flew closer to the ground. Bob was screaming now. So was she. 

“Bob!” Phoenix shouted, bolting upright and thrashing around. It was dark. Why was it dark? Where was she? 

“Phoenix? Hold on, I’m coming,” she heard Bob’s voice, he sounded far away. 

Phoenix came to her senses, that’s right. They were in the hospital. Bob appeared in the doorway a moment later and flicked the lights on. For a second she didn’t recognize him, he was wearing a t-shirt, pajama pants and no glasses. 

“Are you alright? Should I get a nurse?” he asked, face full of concern. 

Phoenix shook her head, “No, I’m fine. I just...was having a dream. I forgot where I was for a second. I hate waking up in unfamiliar places. Sorry I woke you.” 

Bob shrugged. “It’s okay, I was awake anyways.” He paused for a moment like he wanted to say more, but closed his mouth. “I’ll let you go back to sleep then. Goodnight, Phoenix.” He turned to leave. 

“Wait, Bob. Can you stay for a minute?” Phoenix asked. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Phoenix opened her mouth to say something but the words got caught in her throat. Should she tell him about her dream? Should she tell him she was sorry for losing the plane? 

“Take your time. I’ll be here as long as you need me,” Bob said, quietly. He picked up the blanket that Phoenix had flung off the bed in her moment of panic and draped it across her legs. Phoenix gave him a small smile that said thanks, which caused him to blush as he sat in a chair next to her bed. 

Several minutes of silence passed by, but it didn’t feel awkward in the slightest. Bob proved to her that sometimes silence could be just as, if not more, comforting than words. 

“Bob, I didn’t even stop by your room after the accident to see if you were okay. I’m sorry, I meant to, but people were coming in and out and then I was so exhausted I fell asleep.” 

“Don’t worry about it. There was a lot going on. I wasn’t able to sneak out and visit you either.” He paused. “Were you dreaming about the bird strike?”

Phoenix averted his gaze and nodded, but didn’t go into detail. “I’m sorry, Bob.”

Bob gave her a bewildered look. “You’re not seriously apologizing for what happened? It was a bird strike, Phoenix. It could have happened to anyone.”

Phoenix massaged her temples. “I keep playing the incident over and over again in my mind. What could I have done differently to save the plane?” 

“Maybe there was nothing else you could have done. It’s not a reflection on your skills as a pilot, Phoenix. It doesn’t change anything.”

Phoenix finally made eye contact with him. “What do you mean it doesn’t change anything? I put your life at risk, Bob.”

“You didn’t put my life at risk. A bird flew into our engine and put both of our lives in danger. I’ve trusted you since the first day we were up in the air together, Phoenix. That hasn’t changed.” 

Phoenix released a breath she didn’t release she was holding. 

“I trust you too, Bob. From the moment I met you. I’m ready to put this behind us as long as you don’t think any less of me.”

“I don’t think any less of you, Phoenix. And if anyone does, they can take it up with me.”

Phoenix grinned at him, “Glad to know you have my back Bob, not just in the skies.” 

“What are friends for?”

Friends. Phoenix usually made it a habit not to get too close to her backseater, but somehow Bob had bypassed all of the walls that she’d put up. 

I won’t let you down, Bob.