#to be clear I do not mean a love to hate sorta relationship

[arolesbianism]

I think its so important for everyone to learn to like characters because of their negative traits instead of in spite of them. Like there is so much joy and whimsy to be experienced once you get to a place where hating smth abt a character inevitably leads to loving them dearly because of that same trait

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

──── TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT . ↳ one shot // also part of the no doubt series !

✎ᝰ .ᐟ aka jake has been your boyfriend in his heart for months—he just needs to hear you say it.

── sim jaeyun x f!reader ౨ৎ 1.4k ⌗ fluff, jake is vulnerable, this one is longer than the other parts but it's a MONUMENTAL STEP in their relationship :')

↳ IMPORTANT NOTE .ᐟ ── this is part of my no doubt series ─ a sequel series of short drabbles that take place after the events of my fic no doubt, and show jake & reader's relationship throughout their first year together (& how jake wins her trust & love back hehe) ── THIS CAN BE READ AS A ONE-SHOT, however, there will be some easter eggs if you've read no doubt before!

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── everyone's favorite couple is OFFICIALLY a couple now,,,bc in case anyone didn’t noticed, i never actually established if they were officially official or not..whoops. but i think that's also kinda the entire premise of their relationship as of now─jake wanting to give y/n as much time as she needs to be ready and him proving that he's willing to wait however long it takes for her :')

“But…this doesn’t mean everything’s fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there.”

Jake remembers your words.

Clear as day. Burned into his memory. His life mantra.

And since then, he’s had one and only one promise on repeat inside his head:

That he’ll do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes to deserve you again.

To deserve being with you.

To deserve loving you, out loud—without holding back this time.

And if that meant patience—if that meant doing it all on your terms—then okay.

He’ll wait.

For you?

Yeah. He’ll wait forever if he has to.

Because it’s not up to him. It can’t be.

Everything’s in your hands now.

He’s in your hands.

So Jake follows your lead.

And at first, it was easy. To just…let things be.

To just keep this—whatever this is.

To keep staying by your side, unwavering, like some stupidly devoted golden retriever boyfriend who’s, technically, not a boyfriend but definitely does your dishes and rubs your back and makes out with you on the couch like he does.

To keep letting you steal his hoodies and never ask for them back. To keep ordering drinks for you at cafes because he knows you hate talking to cashiers.

To keep coming home to you, as if your place was his own.

To keep kissing you goodnight and good morning like you belong to him, even though he’s never actually asked.

To keep pretending he’s fine.

Completely. Totally. Definitely fine.

Fine with being in this maybe-kinda-sorta relationship.

Fine with never keeping any of his hoodies if it means he gets to keep you.

Fine with giving you his whole heart without knowing if he’ll ever get yours back.

Because he gets it. He really does.

You need time. You need space. You need to heal.

Because of him. 

So Jake—Jake doesn’t push.

Because if there’s one thing he has never doubted—

It’s that he wants you.

So he waits.

And waits.

Until—

“…You’re thinking out loud again,” you say suddenly, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts.

Jake blinks, caught red-handed.

He turns to look at you, and for half a second—he forgets what he was stressing about.

Because you’re sitting on the hood of his car, legs dangling, your knees brushing his, swallowed up in one of his old hoodies. Your skin glows warm under the melting summer sky, orange and gold pouring all across you, highlighting the slope of your nose, your cheekbones, the way you tilt your head back and let the light hit you.

And you’re just. So. You.

Soft and comfortable and beautiful and his.

Jake clears this throat, rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah?”

You hum, leaning back on your hands, your gaze going back toward the sunset, "Yeah.”

A beat of silence.

Then—

Jake inhales sharply, “Y/N.”

You turn to him, curious. “Jake.”

And god, he almost chickens out right then and there.

Because you’re so close, and all you did was simply say his name and he wants to crumble.

He’s in so, so deep.

And that’s how he knows he needs to do this.

“What…exactly are we?”

Jake’s voice comes out small—more so than he intended, as if afraid for the answer.

You blink, caught off guard.

Your expression shifts just slightly.

And Jake sees it—the tiny hitch in your breath, the way you blink one, two, three times.

And then panic floods his chest, because—

Oh god, he just ruined everything.

He shouldn’t have said anything.

He told himself he’d wait. That he wouldn’t push. That this—whatever this is—would unfold whenever you were ready.

But you?

You’re not surprised, per say.

You weren’t not expecting this conversation.

It’s been lingering in the air between you and Jake for a while now—soft and subtle.

Lingering in the way he holds you during movie nights, in the way he always brings you ‘and yet’ flowers (an inside joke you both refuse to explain to anyone else). In the way he stays over every night just a little longer than the last, in the way one of your drawers turned into a Jake drawer.

In the way he looks at you like he’s already in love.

And you noticed it.

You’ve known.

You’ve felt it, too.

But still.

Your heart tightens at his words.

Finally, you open your mouth, but before anything can come out—

“I mean, I—I don’t know, I was just thinking, you know, and I just..,” Jake rambles, brows furrowing, lips forming a worried, endearing, pout. “I know we act like—like this, and I really, really like where we are right now. But I—”

He exhales sharply. Runs a hand through his hair.

“I don’t want to assume anything without asking. Like, ever. And there’s no pressure, seriously. If you still want to take things slow, or just—keep doing what we’re doing, I’m fine with that. More than fine. It’s just—”

Your chest tightens.

Jake’s fully facing you now, eyes searching, voice lower—softer, vulnerable, “I just don’t know where we stand, I guess.”

He swallows hard. His entire body feels like it’s on fire, every nerve going haywire.

You glance away, your hands curling into your sleeves as if trying to ground yourself.

And then—you finally look back at him.

“…Do you?” You murmur. One of your hands reaches for his, thumb brushing over his knuckles. “Do you want to know?”

Jake’s breath catches.

Because you’re looking at him now, all hesitant and soft and wide-eyed, and maybe just a little hopeful.

And nervous—in the same way he is.

Like you’re waiting for him to say the thing you’ve both been dancing around for months.

And he doesn’t even hesitate. Doesn’t even doubt it.

“Of course I do,” Jake says, voice low and certain. The words spill out like truth. Like instinct.

“I want to be with you,” he continues, voice unwavering, leaning in slightly. “I want to call you my girlfriend. I want to show up to dumb parties with you and watch everyone realize I’m the luckiest guy there. I want to buy you snacks you’ll forget to eat and make reservations at fancy restaurants we’re going to be late to.”

You blink, lip parting slightly at his words. Your brain is short-circuiting—you don’t even think you’re breathing anymore.

And Jake must’ve noticed your reaction, because the corner of his mouth twitches, like he’s trying not to smile. But his voice remains steady, “But most importantly, I just want you to be happy with whatever we decide. So if you need time, or if you don’t—”

“Yes.”

Jake freezes.

A blink.

“What?”

You swallow, ignoring the way your face is burning, “I mean—yes. I want that too. The parties and snacks and reservations. All of it.”

For a solid business second, Jake just stares at you. Like he almost doesn’t believe you. Like his brain is making this up out of sheer desperation.

But he takes one look at you—the way you’re looking at him all soft and sure—and he breaks.

Into the biggest grin of all time.

He grabs both your hands, clutching them close to him, looking at you like you just handed him the universe, “You’re being serious? Like, for real, for real?”

You raise a brow. 

“You don’t believe me? I must be doing a terrible job if you really thought I didn’t like you this whole time,” you giggle, the air around you immediately shifting into something lighter, something that feels like forever. “Of course, I do, Jake.” 

Jake softens instantly. His smile turns a little crooked, a little shy, “Well, yeah, I knew that. I just…I don’t know, I just wanted to hear you say it, you know?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder lightly—but he tugs you closer, one arm winding easily around your waist while the other links your fingers together, his thumb immediately stroking the back of your hand.

And it’s so easy. So natural. Like you’ve been his forever.

“And you’re my girlfriend now,” he says, absolutely wanting to tattoo it on his forehead for the world to see.

You giggle to yourself, a little breathless now as you rest your head against his chest, “Mmhm. I’m your girlfriend, Sim Jaeyun. Officially.”

“Holy shit,” he groans from above you. “You’re gonna have to say that, like, five more times.”

“Oh my god,” you mutter into his hoodie, but you’re smiling.

“You’re mine,” Jake places a soft kiss into your hair, his words muffled against you, “Mine, mine, mine.”

You’re beaming under his hold, your heart full.

You tilt your head up, catching his gaze again—eyes full of wonder, like he still can’t believe you’re real.

“I’m yours, Jake. Completely.”

But that’s just the thing.

You were always his.

He just needed to know that he was yours, too.

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[catoslvt]

Ben Hargreeves x Reader

I would've married you if you'd stuck around🐙

sorta s4 spoilers? but nobody takes the Marigold and lived their life.

plus I'm changing things because... yeah.

I walk into the birthday party for little Grace, who is one of Diego and Lila's children with her birthday present in my hand. It's just a silly child's keyboard because what the fuck do you get a six year old?

I make my way through the swarm of running and screaming children, the part of me that never grew up hurting because that's the childhood I always wished to have, yknow, running about, screaming my head off with all my friends but no, at the age of six I was learning how to disarm gunmen and learning how to control my powers.

God my life has gotten so much better without them.

Once I'm out the swarm of children, my eyes instantly fall on Sloane, Luther, and Ben, and I feel a slight shiver go down my spine at the sight of ben, I mean it's weird to think he has the face of the boy I used to love when we were like thirteen, but he's not the boy I love, I think anyway, I mean okay I sorta have feelings for this Ben, but I don't want him to think it's because he has the face of my old Ben, its confusing isn't it?

"y/n hi!" Sloane exclaims, waving me over with her hands, and I put on a wide smile as I make my way over to her, setting my present for Grace on the table beside her before she wraps me into a tight hug, which I return with an awkward laugh.

"I heard you're a firefighter now? that's sick." I say, turning to Luther with a smile and he just nods.

"we brought the Umbrella Academy, we're currently renovating it, I'd love for you to come stay some time." He tells me, and I widen my eyes, pretending to be interested as I make small 'oo' noises.

I hate when our family gather together, I mean Luther is married with a child, Diego is married with kids, I don't know what the fuck is going on with Allison, weve hardly spoken since we got to this time line and its not exactly that i dont want to talk to her, i just dont know what id say, Klaus doesn't need love, Five is technically married to a piece of plastic, Ben's just out of prison, Viktor has basically dated every girl in his town and I'm just.. there, I end up feeling extremely left out at the family gatherings when they start talking about issues with their kids or relationship problems because the only relationship problem was the fact Ben died on me.

"How was prison?" I ask ben, my eyes lighting up slightly as I turn to face him, all my attention now on him.

"I can't exactly say I enjoyed it." He tells me, raising a bottle of beer to his lips and taking a sip, and I just know his parole officer is gonna be pissed so I just let out a quiet laugh.

"So where are you staying then? I can't imagine your parole officer would let you live far." I then go onto ask, and he groans slightly, pointing at Luther and Sloane who are now talking to Diego.

"but I'm seriously debating robbing a bank just to get thrown back in." He then adds, looking around and I can't help but laugh a little louder.

"You're staying with them?" I scoff, turning to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"hardly by choice, I just needed a permanent address." He sighs, and I laugh again.

"Fresh out prison, and you're gonna be turned into a painter, electrician, plumber and babysitter. good luck." I tell him and he lets out a small chuckle before taking another drink from his beer.

"How have you been then?" Ben asks, and I shrug slightly.

"I mean, yeah, I've been.. living." I answer with a laugh, and he nods in agreement.

"Why don't we go get you a drink, we can sit at a table at the very back, and you can let it all out." He offers and I rapidly nod.

I sit at the table with Ben, taking a small sip from my beer before clearing my throat.

"I'm a child psychologist now." I tell him, and he nods slightly.

"I mean, it just felt right, yknow? I want to help kids so they don't end up with a childhood that we had. Well, I mean, without the powers, the robotic mom, the alien dad, you get what I mean." I tell him with a small wave of my hand, and he continues to nod, a small smile on his face.

"I get it." He tells me, and we both fall into a comfortable silence before he breaks it right as I take a mouthful of beer.

"don't you miss your powers?"

that question almost makes me spit my beer everywhere, my eyes widening as I stare at him.

"God, no, I don't miss them in this time line Nobody knows who I am, nobody takes a double take or gawks at me waiting to see my powers in use, I can be whatever I want to be in this timeline and I plan on using that to my hearts content." I tell him, and he just looks at me.

"You don't miss them? not even a little bit?" He asks, and I shake my head, which causes him to shrug slightly.

"I miss my powers, I feel.. ordinary without them." He tells me, and I furrow my eyebrows slightly.

"No offence, but I'm glad you don't have your powers. You died because of them in my original timeline, and it's good to see what my ben would've looked like grown up." I tell him, and he gives me a sad smile before we fall quiet yet again.

"and i think it's good to feel ordinary, I spent my whole childhood wanting to be normal to fit in, and now I do." I then add, and he scoffs.

"There's nothing ordinary about us y/n. Apart from the Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy, nobody in the world has gone through even a fraction of what we have, and you've technically went through more than me because the Umbrellas ended the world in 2019, just to then go and do it again back in the 60s, to come back for it to end in 2019 again.." Ben says, and I just scoff, but I can't help but laugh and nod.

"and both times was technically Viktors fault." I argue, and we both smile before Five appears from under a slide somewhere and nods, a bottle of beer in his hand.

"it was Viktors fault both times. Actually, she's not making that up." He tells ben as he makes his way over to our table, dragging a chair along behind him, and ben just raised his eyebrows slightly, clearly pissed off our conversation had been distributed by Five, who still looks like a kid.

"Well, isn't this just a sad table of losers who feel out of place at their nieces birthday party with all the married couples and kids." Five says as he sits his beer down on our table with a large clink.

"I don't feel out of place, I could easily find someone I could marry and have kids with. you couldn't because you look like you're 18." I argue, and five leans back in his seat and crosses his arms slightly, mouthing ben so subtly so that ben can't see.

"Wait, y/n, did you ever even move on after your ben died?" My other Ben asks, and I look at him, my eyes wide as I try to muster an answer.

I try to muster up and answer, but none suitable come to my mind because the truth is I didn't even try to move on, I felt like there was no point, my whole childhood my heart was set on the fact that I'd be marrying Ben, I wanted to at the time despite how young we were and the fact we didn't fully understand the whole concept of marrige and he said he wanted to aswell. when he died I just blamed myself, I thought it was my fault he had died and I convinced myself everyone I love will die because of me, as a sort of reminder that my powers were a curse. obviously, that fact was proven false because my powers are gone. but even now, I'm still cautious to open myself back up to love, but when I'm with this ben, I feel myself slowly opening up again.

"I tried, but nobody stuck around." I lie, and Five shoots me a knowing glare, and Ben just nods, yet another comfortable silence falling over us as I take a large drink from my beer, staring down at my hands before Five starts a conversation with Ben and I can't help but sigh a sigh of relief.

somehow, Luther and Sloane have convinced me to come to theirs to stay the night.

"I think it'll have beneficial effects on releasing your childhood trauma y/n." Luther tells me as I sit in the back of his car, ben at the other side as sloane sits in the front and stares out the window.

"I'm the child psychologist Luther. You just stick to putting out fires." I state, crossing my arms slightly as I stare out the car window, watching the world go by the single frame of glass, trying to hide my smile as I hear Ben laugh at my comment.

"Do you ever sit and look at people and just laugh to yourself because you've saved their asses from the end of the world three times now?" I ask to Luther mainly due to the fact the Sparrow Academy have only had to save the world once, which ended up in all but two of them dying and he just shrugs as he continues to drive.

"Imagine how Viktor feels, knowing he almost killed them twice." Ben says, and that causes me to laugh, slapping a hand over my mouth as I try to stop it.

"That's nasty! the first time wasn't fully his fault. He just discovered his powers and didn't know how to stop them." I tell him, leaning over to gently slap his arm, but I'm still laughing.

"Plus, it's also semi Luther fault for locking him in this weird, safe thing." I add, and Luther groans, muttering something under his breath, leaving me to smile proudly.

"Let's just sit in silence till we get home." Luther suggests, and nobody says a single word to protest and I guess it would be sorta rude if I did seeing as I'm staying at his house tonight.

I sit in my old room, looking around at how empty it is because the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist in this timeline, meaning this room is just a room where I just so happened to share all of my good childhood memories, or atleast the handful I can call good.

"Why would you actually agree to come back here?" Ben asks with a laugh as he stands at the doorframe, staring down at me with questioning eyes.

"I think it's actually partly to do with what Luther said, I think it's good for myself to come see the place and realise that everything that happened back in my time line is just memories now, I dont know I guess I'm trying to give myself some closure." I answer with a shrug as ben walks further into the room, now sitting beside me on the bed.

"What were we like? in your timeline anyway?" ben asks, and I feel my heart stop for a second as I look at him for a brief moment.

"Really young but you -" I cut myself off. Is it wrong to address this ben as my Ben? because it is the same person, but it's not at the same time.

"we understood each other, he- *you* were one of the only people at the Umbrella Academy who showed me love despite our age. if we were doing paired work, we'd always be together, at meals we'd always pass notes, during training we always went easy on each other, during missions we always had a close eye on each other, we'd always spend time in my room. yeah, we were really young, but we still loved each other." I tell him, and he just looks at me, a sad smile on his face.

"we were convinced we were gonna get married, and in all honesty, I would've married you if you stuck around." I then add, looking away as I get an unbearable feeling of sadness.

"I would've married you if you came to the Sparrow Academy timeline earlier." Ben tells me, and I almost choke on my spit as I look at him, my eyes wide.

"What?" I ask, shaking my head slightly.

"I felt myself changing slightly the minute I looked at you when our academies met, but I was too.." He trails off trying to find the words.

"stuck up? full of yourself?" I begin listing and he rolls his eyes but he smiles slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I was too stuck up to actually allow myself to change for you, and also, I was too scared because I know im nothing like your ben so I didn't want to cause a disappointment as though you lost him again." Ben admits, and I just stare at him.

"Ben, you are my ben." I state, my eyes not leaving his face, not even when his eyes light up slightly, not even when he turns to look at me.

"I didn't want to tell you in case you thought I'm just using you because of what happened with Umbrella Ben, but I promise you that is not the case. You are my ben." I then add, and I see his eyes softening as a small smile appears on the edge of his lips.

"so it's safe to say we like each other then?" He asks after a moment of us just staring at each other.

"I guess so." I jokingly groan, but I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a hug, just savouring the feeling of ben in my arms, my ben as one of his arms wrap around my waist, the other one coming up to reach into my hair, pressing the back of my head closer into him.

"I can't believe you went to prison, you asshole! I was gonna tell you I had feelings for you once we all settled into the new timeline, and then you went to prison."I scoff, and he pulls away from the embrace slightly and looks at me.

"You could've always written a letter or something." He tells me, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I would've been better using a carrier pigeon. No chance was I gonna have a prison pen pal." I scoff, rolling my eyes, but I did write, and then I wrote again, and again, and guess what? I wrote again.

"I did write to you, over and over again, I just never had the courage to send them, because imagine you got one of the letters, wrote back but it didn't send to me?" I ask, a shiver going down my spine at the thought of never knowing if he felt the same way.

"Well, I would've rewrote the same letter every day and sent it to you until you got it." Ben says, a slight hint of promise in his words, and with that, I press a kiss to his lips, and he instantly returns it, his hand on my waist tightening, gently pushing my head closer to his as he depends the kiss and we continue in our kissing embrace got a few moments, before we hear a:

"When I said coming here would help to release your childhood trauma, I didn't mean by doing.. this." Luther says, and I just pull away laughing.

[abigailovesz]

SHUT UP N SHOW SOME RESPECT, MAYBANK

pairing: college frat boy!jj x fem!reader

warnings: smut, language, dom!reader, sub!jj, alcohol, p in v unprotected, oral(m receiving), suggestive words. reader is sorta mean but for a reason. creampie, some oc's.

summary: when jj, the very very known college frat boy thinks he can walk all over everyone and still be treated with respect- well, your there to stop it in which he finds amusing.

a/n hopefully this is good, just a lil drabble?? i dont know it kinda just popped into my head. from this ask!

JJ MAYBANK, talk of the town- not town, i mean college. how did he get in? you got no fuckin' clue. do you want to know? Nope. because you don't want anything to do with that man, or, maybe one thing.

you want to show him how to be respectful. you wanna knock some sense into him.

because half of the female population in the building has gotten fucked by him, and in the morning? he's off back to his friends, not speaking a word to the poor girl after he treated her like that. and you? your lucky you haven't been one of those poor girls. and if he tries, your knocking sense into him and your gonna do it tonight at this 'college party'.

"so, i guess everyones going to wear like, pink, like a hot one! ooh- like barbie!" phew, nessa, your bestfriend- you love her but you dont really love her mouth. she talks a lot. i mean, alot. the mirror hazed with the heat from the shower water, a towel in your left hand as you wiped it clear in just a towel wrapped around your body and wet hair.

"we still have those matching pink dresses, right?" you asked nessa, head tilting toward her, the towel finishing its job. nessa smiled and without responding, she practically leaped into the closet and grabbed the two dresses you were talking about.

you unwrapped the white towel from your damp hair and leaned a hip against the bathroom counter. nessa came back out with her two hands holding white hangers with short, hot pink dresses dangling down. "these are the ones you were talking about, right? like last year when we wo-" she rambled and you were quick to cut her off. "Yeah! i remember nes', dont worry" you chuckled, grabbing the dress and walking into the bedrooms, leaving nessa in the bathroom to change as well.

BY THE TIME you and nessa arrived, the moon had already risen and many people were already drunk, music blaring and bouncing through the walls of the building. Blue and purple surrounded the area in a light, neon dim as shadows casted through the colors.

"jesus, there is way to many people here, i can barely walk, fuck" you muttered to nessa, making her laugh and shrug a little. "oh come on, it's worth it" she let out a litte excited hum when she saw the alcohol bar, grabbing your hand and tugging you over to the metal tables surrounded by solo cups and cheap- and pricey- booze.

you laughed when nessa tilted her head back and lifted the whiskey bottle inches away from her lips, allowing the liquid to spill into her mouth and onto parts of her skin. "your turn!" nessa laughed, eyes focused on your hands popping open a bottle with ease, repeating her movements just with more laughing.

when you lowered the bottle, you heard a laugh- and it wasn't nessas but it was familiar. and it wasn't just familiar to you, obviously. and thats because its the laugh of good old jj maybank. "damn didn't know you were the one to drink whiskey, girl" he smirked- god, you had a love hate relationship with that thing.

nessa looked at him, giving you a cheeky, knowing smile before tapping your ass subtly and walking away. she'd always played match maker with you and the maybank boy and you hated it.

you sighed in irritation, swaying your head back to face jj with the whiskey bottle still in your hand. "what?, ya keeping tabs on me? on what i drink?" jj just jerked his head into a tilt, looking down at you with that same smug smile.

"maybe i am, or maybe there just my eyes watching you, who knows" he spoke in faux confusion, a tsk leaving his lips as he contained eye contact with you. you rolled your eyes, mascara tipped eyelashes fluttering against your eyelids.

"mhm, and im sure im not the only girl your keeping 'eye tabs' on." you replied, giving him a sarcastic smirk as you eyed him and his pink 'cowboy' hat. he raised his eyebrows in amusement, a little 'ha ha' leaving his throat. "ah, and what is that supposed to mean?"

"dont play coy with me, maybank, you know what im talking about" he did know. and he was proud of it. proud of the way girls swooned over him, letting him toy with them. but you? you didn't and he liked that. no, loved that.

“Oh I do? smart girl..” he drawled out slowly, making your cheeks suddenly turn pink but you quickly brushed it off. Knock sense into him. Do it, do it, do it.

you stood up straighter, taking one step closer to him, making him take a step back aswell with a suggestive chuckle. “ah, whatcha doin now?” His eyes flickering down to your lips, the purple lightly flying all over the place.

you didn’t respond. Just kept waking, and walking- the tip of your heels almost touching his the tip of his own shoes but they didn’t reach- not with how he was taking steps at the same pace as you, even backwards.

“alright mama- you gettin fe-“ he started, the teasing gleam in his eye. The one that he gave girls all the damn time. Just for there attention . You were quick to cut him off, a sharp tone in your words. “shut up n show some respect, maybank”

that did make him stop. surprisingly. you stopped when his back hit an anonymous door, reaching your hand back beside his hip and twisting the metal nob.

his jaw visibly clenched, he’d always been the bold one in these situations, the one that took control. But now? He could see it in your eyes, you didn’t want him to do any of that shit. the door opened and when you closed it- all the music muffled out of the room, all the partying, all the dancing- was not in his or yours focus. it was like it was just you and him in one world. 

your eyes narrowed, fingers already working on his jeans as he stared at you with disbelief and lust. “what..” he breathed out onto your face, his breath smelled like alcohol and weed, just how you liked and expected it.

“don’t talk.” you demanded. no emotion, no tone. Just blank. Those words made him go still, obeying immediately- if his friends saw this? he’d be actually fucked.

But who cares about friends when he’s got a bold woman in front of him? 

in one swift movement, you pushed on his shoulders a little hard - that made jj feel, well, things. he landed on the mattress of the bed with a soft thud, his blonde hair sprawling out across the sheets. "now, your gonna feel exactly like how all them girls feel like, and thats now. okay?" you drawled out, crawling onto the bed and meeting eye contact with him when you got up there.

he blinked once, not protesting and just nodding up at you. You swallowed hardly, easily connecting lips with his own salty ones. your fingers moved down to his already unbuttoned jeans, fastly. you wanted it fast. it'd be just how a girl who he was practically using would feel- which you sort of where using him, and showing him- showing him what it's like to be used as a little fucktoy.

jj reached his hand up to cup your cheek but you grabbed his wrist and pinned it down beside his head, making him hum into the messy kiss. he murmured your name onto your mouth, the movement vibrating your lips a little. with a fast rip of lips, you kissed down to his jawline, his ear, his neck.

"dont fucking move, jj." you gritted through your teeth against his skin, making his breathing faster and faster. jj clenched his fingers around the sheets, eyes squeezed shut as you brought his boxers down, his jeans already discarded somewhere.

approximately 3 minutes later your both hip to hip with your legs on either side of him, his cock dragging in n out of your cunt. the mix of your hums and jj's loud grunting, skin slapping against skin is heard throughout the dim lighted room. "y'like that dont ya?" you mocked straight at his face, eyes filled with the same as his- though you wouldn't show it, not all the way. he didn't give you the answer you expected, he just nodded and moaned. pathetic.

you let out a long, shaky breathe, hips still rolling against his own as you held the side of his neck. "words, maybank. i wanna hear ya say it." you demanded. jj knew. he knew what you were doing and he couldn't lie, he did the same to the other girls.

He let out a choked gasp, his head falling back against the pillow as he arched into you. "fuck.. I...like it," he stammered out, his words barely audible over the pounding of your hearts and the creaking of the bed frame.

you nodded and bit the inside of your lips before making a decision and pulling off of him. your arousal mixed with his own all in between your thighs. looking down, eyes half lidded and hazy with lust, JJ watched as you moved down his body, his cock slipping out of your warm, tight cunt with a obscene squelch. He could feel your slick arousal coating his shaft, making it glisten in the dim lighting of the room.

As your face came level with his aching cock, JJ had to resist the urge to reach down and fist his hand in your hair, to guide your mouth to where he needed it most. But your earlier words echoed in his mind, a silent command to stay still.

JJ's breath hitched as he felt your breath, hot and heavy, washing over his aching cock. His heart raced in anticipation, skin flushed and tingling. He couldn't think straight, too consumed by the desperate hunger building inside him. he had to bite his lip hard to stifle a moan as he felt your tongue, slick and warm, trace the underside of his shaft. His hips jerked involuntarily, thighs clenching as he fought the urge to buck up into your mouth. Fuck, he wanted to grab your hair, to hold you down and fuck your face until you choked on his cock.

But he held back, hands fisting in the sheets as you took him into your mouth inch by inch. He could feel your lips stretching around his girth, the soft skin soft and pliant against him. The sight of your full, pouty lips wrapped around his dick was almost too much to bear.

JJ's head fell back against the pillow, eyes squeezing shut as he focused on the feeling of your wet, hot mouth engulfing him. You could feel him throbbing against your tongue, the thick vein on the underside pulsing with each heartbeat. you felt his cock throb and pulse between your lips as you took him deeper, your nose pressing against his pelvis.

"Shit..fuck..I'm gonna..unghh..." JJ grunted and cursed, his words dissolving into incoherent babble as his orgasm slammed into him like a fucking truck. His cock jerked and spasmed, erupting hot and hard down your throat as he came undone.

Thick, salty ropes of cum painted the back of your throat, coating your tongue and filling your mouth with his essence. JJ's body convulsed, back arching off the bed as he rode out the intense waves of pleasure crashing over him.

yeah, he got some sense put into him.

[dufferpuffer]

In continuation of the 'pillow prince/ss/' topic.. Snape sex hcs? I remember you said it's basically impossible to drag him into bed but I'D TRY.

You're just spoiling me, aren'tcha? First Remus now Sev... Severus Snape is devoted to duty. Its the only thing holding him together. How often does he even go to bed…? A full-time teacher, a spy, a death eater, Dumbledore's dark little knight - He probably considers the time he spends marking 'rest enough'.

His self-esteem is dead. So dead he has come to terms with its corpse and uses it as protection. He's been teased his entire life for his looks. By his parents, by his schoolmates, by his teachers, by his cult, by his students... He's proud of how it has hardened him. It's become part of his ego: He's heard it all before - and now the words run off his oily feathers like raindrops.

Having someone say they think him anything less than hideous? Baffling. But while Remus would become a flustered mess... I think Severus would stages-of-grief it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression… Because his romantic, affectionate side is also a corpse. It died alongside his best friend and he's spent the last decade-and-a-half making sure it stays buried.

To bring it back? That will take a stubborn dedication that rivals his. It takes grit and damn near necromancy. He will fight back, too - because to raise it from the dead is to raise Lily along with it. That is the greatest hurdle: Best friend or love of his life - either way she was the only person he has been affectionate with. He will need to digest that. He hasn't worked through his grief yet, because it is a difficult thing to work through alone. …but he CAN reach Acceptance.

One step, one stage at a time - peeling down each layer of his onion, like an ogre... Things move slowly with Severus - and in the opposite order you might expect. I guess I will go through what a relationship would be like with Severus, in a sorta dot-point fanfic format:

First note: He is allergic to showing weakness - and what he considers a weakness can be... strange. Indulgence. Emotions, affection, touch, company - he has no time for that garbage. He is in control of himself, of his body, of his feelings, of his life. Meticulous, complete control. This man 'tops' exclusively**

He is ashamed of masturbation. It means he has lost control of his emotions - and it grinds against his ego like sandpaper. He almost never does it. Thinking about anyone in particular when doing it is an insult to them - and he hates feeling guilty. He keeps it simple and almost self-harmingly dry. He has more important things to be doing with his time than engaging with this weakness…

You make your interest in him clear. He goes through everything - he belittles and denies your feelings, he gets angry with you for bothering him, he asks you to stop saying such nonsense... and he gets frustrated that even when you've finally shut up, he is STILL dwelling on it. He spends so long just tossing things up, sorting through his grief, imagining it... so, SO sick of jerking off… …when the dam bursts - he fucks. If he is going to be spending all this time obsessing over these stupid feelings he may as well get something out of it. Only sex, though. Sex he is in control of. Clothes on, greedy, not pretty, not nice. 'Thats what you wanted from me, yes? Well you've gotten it. Happy?!?' ((He does not expect the answer to be 'yes'.))

He thinks one time was too many, and did it only to take it off his mind - and to stop having you bother him about it. But it is easier for you to get him to do it a second time. And then a third... fourth... The more times it happens - and nothing embarrassing or bad follows... well, if he has done it once, he may as well do it more, right…? You are evidently trustworthy. '…You may come to my chambers IF I call - at no other times. I am too busy to play silly games.' A casual physical relationship - to solve a problem of distraction and concentration. That's all.

He does start to call. Occasionally at first - and every time he almost shows surprise that you actually turn up. But he gets less and less surprised... and starts getting more and more needy. 'You're late. I sent for you half an hour ago. Do you think I am made of time?!' He doesn't even realize how needy he sounds, because this activity is now ingrained in his routine. He is used to it. And because he is used to it: He touches more. More clothes come off. But never his own. He has gone from 'hands-on-waist' fucking to caressing your naked body - slow rolls of his hips, making his own breathe shudder, enjoying every sensation.

One day his summons aren't replied to. At first he angry. How dare you. How DARE you waste his time!? The next time they are alone he snaps at you bitterly. 'Finally tired of me? Got your fill? Met a better man?' When the response is more along the lines of 'I was a bit ill' or 'I was out'... he realizes he has shown far too much of his hand. How embarrassing. He is speechless at his own foolishness. He showed an inch of vulnerability and expects to be raked through the coals for it. ...What he doesn't expect is acceptance, tenderness and respect.

He had forgotten that he wasn't the one to initiate this arrangement - that he was wanted. Desired. In his mind he had taken control: Everything happened when he wanted, where he wanted and in whichever way he wished. To be touched in a friendly way? To he apologized to - for being made to worry? To have make-up sex offered…? '…Yes. Alright.' Its the next layer peeled off. He starts listening to offers, enjoying being asked instead of being answered. It's still a casual affair - and yet seeing them talk to other people no longer makes his hackles raise in concern for his secrets. Running into them in the morning no longer makes his skin crawl with shame and embarrassment for the night before. He feels excited when they pay a visit in the midday, offering an impromptu meeting. It is oddly... comfortable.

Of course it can't always be sex in the midday. It is too much effort, takes too much time, energy and clean-up. It suits him fine when you jump on the chance to put him in your mouth. At first he is a little taken-aback - but it feels nice. He says nothing other than contented hums, but as you get better he groans and arcs his back a little. He doesn't care what happens when he finishes - swallow or not, as long as it is not a mess for him to clean up. …Well, he tries to be that callous about it… but it doesn't last long. There is a tenderness to the act he can't deny. It isn't the mutual-benefit fucking. This is a gift for him to enjoy. That realization settles and festers in him. It creates a soft feeling he doesn't recognize... and a desire not to owe you anything.

So, without much fanfare: he reciprocates. He gets you on his seat, or on his desk, and gets down on his knees... He is a little nervous about it - when was the last time he did this, if ever…? - But he has no need to be. He is a god with his mouth. It's his attention to detail. His devotion to getting things done thoroughly and properly - even this. What starts as an embarrassing action from the weakness of his heart turns into a strong pleasure for him. He LOVES oral. It isn't him losing control: it's him gaining it. Even when his hair is gripped and yanked, even if he is pulled close and suffocated a little on you - HE is making that happen. HE is making you do that. He never expected this to make him so happy, so hot. He never expected to undo the buttons of his high collar so his neck could move more easily, to unbutton and fold up his right sleeve so he could get his hands messy... To have enough fun to start saying some truly dirty things… 'That good, is it~?' 'My-! How delicate you are today!' 'Stop squirming. Too sensitive…? Just grit your teeth and bear it.' ...and he didn't expect to not be laughed at for such things.

He certainly didn't expect to get so into it that he kissed you to shut you up as you came. A shock to both of you… another wall crumbled. Turns out he likes that too. He starts initiating sexual activity with a kiss. He prefers kissing to talking. It is succinct and expressive. Walk into his office: as soon as the door is shut your back is pressed against it, wrists in his hands, his mouth against yours. If he starts losing control of the kiss he gently bites your lip, dragging his teeth along it teasingly. Your tongue invades his mouth before he has a chance to do it first: he just about shoves your hands into his robes, tearing into your clothes... This man lives for kissing now.

But he still doesn't realize this is more than casual, that this is something he needs… Until you chat. Its a quiet moment. You comment on the parchments rolled at the edge of his desk. 'Oh - that is just my own research into the effects of aconite. I had to work with it extensively a few years ago.' You take an interest, and he starts regaling deeper and deeper into his studies: how poorly documented others' research is; how it reacts to other ingredients; how modern brewing processes can draw so much more out of it - 'you know, the plant is often just passed off as toxic when even basic purification charms are enough to-' ...He is blabbering. On and on about a dull topic nobody cares about… yet you are listening. His jaw drops a little. He realizes that, for the first time in two decades, someone cares. Someone truly cares. About HIM. His thoughts, his interests... He never thought he could have this again. He didn't think that for the sex, either - but sex, compared to this, was easy to procure. He wants to kiss you again. But not for lust this time.

Suddenly it doesn't feel so embarrassing to allow his eyes to become wet, to draw a shuddering breathe as he builds the courage - of which he has masses of - to say something important: '…I am afraid I have come to love you.' It is a terrifying thing to say, but he has never once shied away from saying what is important, even if it results in pain. And yet this time, for once… he feels like he can trust that it wont.

** Many times later, he is laying down as his shirt gets unbuttoned, his collarbone kissed... He doesn't feel ashamed, even as he gently strokes his own dick, encouraging it to harden. He pulls his arms from his shirt sleeves, fearless of his dark mark being exposed. For once work is at the back of his mind as he allows himself to be pushed back down to into the pillows, chuckling as he is told: 'Shh… just lay still darling… I'll take care of you tonight…' ...And he does. Control well out of his hands and a smile on his face.

[geethingy]

TLC

fandom: the falcon and the winter soldier

w/c: 1149

summary: How Sam convinced Bucky to sleep on the couch AKA Bucky is introduced to ASMR.

a/n: I love TFATWS and I want to write for them more but I cannot for the life of me think of good scenarios. Inspired by my own love hate relationship with asmr.

~~~~~~~~~

“Paid good money for that sofa you're disrespecting.”

Bucky sat up from his position on the floor. Sam's silhouette stood with crossed arms in the doorway, outlined only by the kitchen light behind him. He looked ridiculous. Bucky stretched to reach the lamp switch.

“I’m kind of an active sleeper. Figured I’d do less damage starting on the floor.” Bucky rubbed at his neck.

“Mm-hm.” Sam walked over to the couch and sat, meaning he didn't intend to let Bucky sleep just yet. “Sarah’s concerned.”

Embarrassed, Bucky dropped his hand slowly. From the moment he stepped inside the Wilson family home, he wondered if he was completely overstaying his welcome. He wouldn't have blamed them for feeling uncomfortable housing an ex-assassin. There were children in this house.

“She sent me in here to convince you to get off the damn floor. ‘C’mon Sam! Give the hobo your bed if it's better on his old joints than the couch.’ Hmph.”

Bucky smiled. “That’s kind of her.”

Sam glared at him. “Keep dreaming. You're funny if you think you're sleeping on my bed.”

Bucky shook his head with a frown. “No, the couch is comfortable. Very comfortable. Feels like I’m gonna sink right through it.”

Sam’s glaring expression changed to something more real. Was that a rude thing to say?

“Look, I get it. But you're making me look like a bad host. Sarah won't even let the cat sleep down there.” Sam said softly. “You’re just not used to feeling comfortable yet. All it takes is some TLC.”

“TLC?”

“Tender love and-”

“I know what TLC means.” Bucky said, more guarded than his therapist would have approved of. Sam was brave for this, Bucky thought. By now they had gotten comfortable, perhaps even extended their boundary past ‘a couple of guys with a mutual friend.’ They were friends, yet even so Bucky didn’t know what to do with clear affection. Sam knew this. It was brave in the same way as sticking a hand out to a dog known to bite.

Bucky sighed and looked up at Sam. “Are you offering?” he asked, genuinely.

“Just get your ass up here.” Sam said.

--

He pulled out his phone and a pair of earbuds as Bucky sat next to him.

“We can start with this.” Sam said, holding out his tools as he explained. “Have you heard of ASMR? Stands for auto sensory… something or other. People listen to it to go to sleep, sorta like whale sounds or white noise. You know how certain sounds make you go all relaxed and tingly?”

Bucky frowned, not liking how that sounded. But Sam continued with an eyeroll.

“Well, that's the gimmick. It's pretty awesome and knocks me out like a baby. Gotta be careful not to find the freaky ones, though. There are a lot of weirdos out there..” Bucky’s frown deepened skeptically.

“Man, nevermind. Just, here-”

Bucky violently ducked his head away from Sam’s hand, instantly snatching the earbud Sam started to shove into his ear. Sam chuckled, to which he scowled at.

“I don’t know about this, Sam. I'm not a big fan of…” He squinted at the title of one of the videos on Sam’s phone. “Brain tickling? That doesn’t sound relaxing at all.”

Sam reached over to tap the video immediately as Bucky made a noise of disapproval. He stood and patted Bucky’s shoulder.

“Alright, now lay back and close your eyes. Ugh.” Sam reached forward, smoothing out the dubious eyebrows on Bucky’s forehead. “Relax your damn face. Trust me, man! This stuff is powerful.”

Bucky was entirely unsure about this, as nothing about what Sam had been trying to sell sounded appealing. But because Sam was good at this sorta thing, he obliged. He laid back and shifted to get comfortable, snatching up the blanket that was on the floor with a metal hand.

He looked up at Sam, who was staring the whole time he adjusted himself.

“Are you gonna watch me sleep?”

Sam scoffed. “Sounds exhilarating. Sleep tight, Buck.” He switched off the lamp for Bucky, and left him alone with the ASMR.

As the video played, Bucky was caught off guard by the quality of the sounds.

There was a sweet spot in Bucky’s lower back he hadn't known about. And for reasons unbeknownst to him, the amplified scratching sounds coming from the video ignited the nerves in the same spot. Over and over again. He felt ridiculous for flinching, but he could hardly control it.

skrich skrich skrichskrichskrich.

It sounded like it was right behind him. His eyebrows pinched together in discomfort. He surprised himself by not throwing the earbuds across the room.

As weird as it was, it was also kind of nice. A tingle would start at the base of his skull, before shooting down that dip in his back. Relaxing chills overtook Bucky’s body after each ticklish pulse that sparked his spine. He found himself embracing the sounds and their unbearable, incredible effect. It reminded him of nails on his back, a sensation he had trouble remembering with how long it had been since he received such tender treatment. But he knew it was enjoyable. Even when the nails strayed to spots that were too sensitive to stay still for.

Bucky couldn't stop the smile that followed after the next jolt, so powerful it made his leg jump. Like when you pet a dog just right. He wondered if this ASMR garnered the same reactions from Sam. If that was why he liked it so much.

A laugh startled Bucky to open his eyes. He thought it might have come from himself until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. His face flushed as he tore the earbuds out of his ear.

“How long were you standing there, you creep?” Bucky asked, worried about how much Sam might have seen - and clocked.

“Just came out for a bit to see if it already put you to sleep. Looks like you were loving it.” Sam said, grinning. There was no judgement in his tone, only teasing. Bucky can handle teasing.

“It's nice. It’s freaky, but it's nice. I was almost asleep till you came back out.” Bucky said accusingly. Sam started to say something back, an apology about interrupting his tickle-time, but Bucky wisely put the earbuds back in and flipped over on the couch to ignore him completely.

“Alright alright. Get your beauty sleep, White Wolf.” Before finally leaving him alone for the night, Sam fluttered his nails up and down Bucky’s exposed back and neck. He shrugged him off with a giggle-laced fuck off.

“Goodnight Sam,” he called out before he shut his bedroom door. “Thanks.”

[helloiamadrawer]

Special To Us - Gamma 1 x Reader who has a small chest

Warnings: none! mention of a polyamorous relationship with #2 ,reader just is a bit insecure about her body...

A/n: "Hey One..can we talk for a minute? And please don't let Gamma Two know about this, okay? He'd flip his lid if I ever told him this."

"Sure, my love, what's on your mind?" Gamma 1 offers you his hand as you take it in his hold. You two begin to walk on the path that followed to your workplace.

"You know how there are a variety of women's bodies?"

"That's right."

"Well that also goes for..y'know..our chest area...and mine are quite small when usually every other female here has big ones." you explain, hating to talk about such a topic to a male android, but there's been a looming feeling of insecurity despite your subconscious. The last few days you hid that from your boyfriends for what seemed like forever.

Gamma 1 looks down at you with a puzzled expression and asks, "So..what is the meaning of this? Is there something wrong?"

"Yeah, sorta. I kinda wish i had bigger breasts..so that i can be more noticable and a little more attractive." a slight frown

Gamma 1 stopped right in his tracks, now in partial shock that you actually said that about yourself. You were the best thing that happened to him and Gamma 2, and you were putting yourself down? He doesn't know what made you be insecureall of a sudden, but he's going to find out. Now. Gamma 1 ushered you to the side and then started walking, his pace becoming wider with each step, heading the opposite direction. One of his hands curled into a fist then uncurled. His teeth bared hardly. You were afraid he would act this way, quickly you rushed up to him.

"Um, One? baby? Where are you going? Work is that way." You ask, now a bit concerned as you follow slightly behind the android.

Gamma 1 halts again, almost making you bump into him but you stopped yourself just in time. The aura from One started to feel vengeful, determined. "To find the person who hurt you, and teach them a lesson.." The android's voice coldly answers.

Eventually, he reaches a clifftop, looking up at the clear blue sky peppered with some clouds. One's feet begin to lift off the ground

"But nobody has hurt me One." You stated, clearly telling the truth but Gamma 1 refused to think that.

Gamma One sighed, "They forced you to say that, I'll be right back, I promise."

One ascended higher, being almost a couple inches above your head. He was about to boost off. You have to stop him and fix the mess you just made for yourself. Groaning in frustration, you jumped with little use of your power and grabbed his leg, surprising the android. "What are you doing?!" Gamma 1 exclaimed. Now dangling onto him for dear life, you make your statement known.

"Gamma. Number. One. Don't do this! It's my fault! I'm self-conscious about my body,and i keep feeling a little more insecure every time I see any woman who has a normal chest..and I let it get to me, so I hid it from you two.." you confessed, a frown falling upon your features. Gamma 1's eyes immediately softened but a bit of hurt was seen in them. Like the anger wasn't even there at all. "But..why? Why did you hide it from us?" the android asks.

"Maybe if we get to solid ground, i'll tell you.."

The android carefully descends back on the patch of land, slowly but surely your feet are back on the earth once more. "I should have told you earlier, maybe if Dr. Hedo had some sort of machine that would make my chest normal, I wouldn't have any insecurities to live through and hide. And none of this would have happened." You drop your head down.

"Love, you have the most greatest body I have ever witnessed in my lifetime and Two's alone. We all have flaws in our own way, even me. But there should be no reason to hide how you look because you are beautiful no matter what anybody else says, you are special to us. " Gamma 1 confided, "And isn't what's on the inside that truly counts?"

If Gamma 1 was known for one thing it would be the apparent wisdom. He takes a hold of your hand and interlaces your fingers with his gloved ones. His yellow chrome eyes catch a glimpse of a slight smile on your face. "You were the only person to ever treat us like normal people instead of walking computers, aside from Hedo. Might I add your personality is a wonderful rarity only one person can have, cherish it, just like your body."

You felt yourself almost tear up from what just left the androids lips. One being effectively poetic did the trick. It made your smile grow wider as you had now courage to look at your android boyfriend and without a doubt he was doing the same action. Gamma 1 pulls you in a gentle embrace, you effortlessly lean into this touch. "Thanks Gamma."

"As always, love-"

"Hey, I've been looking all over for you two...what happened?"

Gamma 2, from a distance, made his way over to you and Gamma 1, separating yourselves from each other.

"Hey Two, what do you mean you've been looking for us?" You inquired, tilting your head in confusion.

"Well, you're kinda late for work...by like," Gamma 2 pauses, "Ten minutes."

You gasp, "Oh my god! I am? Shit! C'mon One, you gotta boost me to work right now!"

Gamma 1 immediately halts you from even literally speedrunning to work. "Don't worry, we'll give them an excuse of what made you late."

Your second android boyfriend now approaches beside you by sliding an arm over your shoulders casually. "You can count on us!" He winks. "So anyway, why were you two at the edge of a cliff hugging it out like a couple in a romance flick?" Two curiously asks takes a glance at you and then One. Your eyes float down as you hissed through your teeth, "Should we tell him?"

Sighing, Gamma 1 begins, "Guess so, can't let leave him in the dark.."

-------

"she

WHAT??!"

Let's just say after One spilled the whole situation, Two dragged you to your room after work to give you a whole hour's worth of a very aggressive but mostly affectionate lecture of how you should never ever doubt yourself or your body again.

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

SYNOPSIS: “I love you, but why do you avoid me so?”

TW/s: unrequited love, unhappy ending, Kazuha is a respectful man fr, reverse yandere dynamics (sorta), pre heikazu matchup, shit happens and it's an overall hurt/no comfort… Surprisingly. (Takes place in Kazuha's perspective + experimenting on yan reader so very ooc.)

NOTE FROM HR: Happy Valentine’s Day. Kazuha knew from this day that it wouldn't end well, and yet he kept his promise for your sake. Still, I have one question for you. Did you think what happened to you was well deserved?

Kazuha is a strange individual.

From the beginning, he made it awfully clear that you two are companions. He never thought of your bond with him as anything serious, or even had a deeper meaning to it. To him, what truly mattered was that you were with a friend.

This was made obvious. He didn't want to make things awkward, so he straight up said that the two of you are simply friends. That was your boundary, and you didn't mind that, so you two ended on that note.

Even when you both hung out, Kazuha remained the same way. He couldn't see your relationship with him soar past romance, and he was… surprisingly enough, content with the idea.

He loathed having to do the inevitable, though. Especially when he noticed the little signs of you acting odd.

Sometimes, the musician would catch you reading his music sheets. It amused him, so when he did, he went over and offered to teach you. You've always been a fan of music, so he knew you'd enjoy whatever he had planned on composing.

However, what he didn't expect was for you to actually compose something for him. You said that it was for his sake, considering he was with you even when things aren't going so well at his job.

It was also a sign of appreciation, you told him.

But he didn't believe you.

It isn't because he disliked the gift— he adored it. He truly did. However, he simply felt as though he didn't deserve it. Maybe it was insane for him to think of that, but he hated to see you wind up hurt because of it.

The sweetest adoration can always be the most bitter hatred. That is what he learned.

But you didn't stop when he told you it was not necessary. You insisted on it, so you pushed through with your plans, making it happen even if Kazuha knew that it was a horrible idea.

Watching you make it without a single fuss or complaint, he simply stayed by your side so you don't wind up becoming ill in your ventures of composing it. He frowned every time you denied it, only to see you take it without fuss when he wasn't present.

Such a difficult thing you are. You should take better care of yourself, he wanted to say. However, he kept his mouth shut and continued on with what he's doing.

Each day, you seem to slave away with composing the music to perfection. Kazuha tried to dissuade you, but you simply shrugged him off, like you didn't want him to stop you from your actions.

It worried him. It worried him so much as your friend, as he didn't want you to die doing such a thing. After all, had you've known he was more interested in you honing your skills for yourself, would you have told him otherwise?

And yet all he can do is watch until you've finished your life's work. You were excited as you told him, and he even tried to play what you made so you two can tell how it sounds. However, much like his feelings in the relationship, it sounded sour.

It was anything unlike the things he's heard, and even he knew it was a novice’s work. Stopping his playing, he examined the notes, trying to decipher what it said. Although, at the corner of his eyes, he could see that your hopes were dashed.

So he simply abandoned the criticism he has for your work and focused on consoling you. In his eyes, you've done your best, and yet the seeds of doubt were sewn in your head.

Did he truly like it? Or did you simply think he did out of obligation?

Each day that passed, your relationship with Kazuha became less friendly and became more of a one-sided budding romance. Kazuha has already put himself out there, but you can’t seem to notice it, like you were blinded to such signs. Or maybe you aren’t, but you simply chose to ignore them for the sake of having what’s yours.

Kazuha could hardly wrap his head around it. He didn’t want you to fall for him, he didn’t want you to suffer the pain of being rejected. Even if his job entailed such horrid truths for ‘rejecting’ someone, he did not want to bring harm to you.

You were his only friend outside the company. The light he considered to be the warmest, the one that kept his mind clear.

Alas, like other light sources, yours dwindled and began to lose its spark.

He tried to stop you multiple times. He didn’t want you hurt, but all you did was simply insist on it. You forced it on him, begging for him to even take a second glimpse into it. That you’d make him happy if he gave it a chance.

That was when he knew you were too far gone.

It was the night before Valentine’s, and yet Kazuha stood by your porch. At the back of his hand was a bouquet he had, and like a cliche romance troupe, he had prepared chocolates and even a music sheet he composed himself.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

…

No response.

He knocked again.

…

Nothing.

Then, he turned the door open and walked inside.

Metallic. It’s so pungent, it’s what made him stumble. His eyes widened as he struggled to simply keep his footing. He always forgot how hard it was for him to keep his ground, he thinks.

Looking down, he was met with an awful surprise.

Bloodied sheets were laid bare all across the floor, with a few of its piles drenched in blood. The one who became the source of its ‘mess’ laid on the piano, your head simply laying on the keys for God knows how long. The blood has stopped pouring, but there were still some on your body and the keys.

He grimaced.

He could hardly care for the flowers now.

You were killed by someone else.

Quietly, he walked to your corpse, his frown evident on his face. He hardly knew what became of your fate, but the music sheet in front of him had a single phrase as its title.

‘Goodnight, Sweet Prince’.

“... You always told me you’re never this sappy.”

Taking a seat, he gently moved the body aside and let the head lean back, this time so he could play the music that you composed. There were a few parts that led to it sounding distorted, but with Kazuha’s hands, it became bearable to listen to.

Still, Kazuha remained that frown on his face.

He lost the one that gave him the light, after all. Now, he’s back walking in the dark.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2024

[vamp-ress]

Eastern Promises

@charlidos proposed an EP/LOTR crossover (sorta). The idea immediately spawned a bunny, but that bunny would demand a huge amount of research and I'm kind of not in the mood.

But I thought to myself: I can at least rewatch Eastern Promises. That doesn't hurt (not me at least, it seems the Bluray is past its prime, it periodically threw me some weird pixelation). And well, I have thoughts.

I love this movie, mostly because it showcases what a brilliant actor Viggo Mortensen is. I always like to compare him to George Clooney, who definitely was the bigger star but who has no versatility to speak of. Each movie he's in: You're looking at George Clooney. But you never look at Viggo in a movie, you always look at the character he's playing. I think that's at least part of the reason why people lust after Aragorn and then they look at Viggo and are like: THAT'S the guy who plays the king of men? He immerses himself in a character to a point where he disappears completely. All of Nikolai's mannerisms, the way he stands and walks and even the little tells when he's lying - they're all Nikolai. Viggo probably has the most un-slavic face imaginable and yet he's pulling it off. With ease.

Viggo Mortensen should have gotten an Oscar for this and that's the hill I'll die on.

In regards to recent events of Mexico hating on Emilia Perez I find it interesting that this was never an issue back in 2007 when Eastern Promises was made. This was a very international production but I can't see anyone even remotely Russian connected to this project. We have a Canadian (David Cronenberg) filming an English script (Stephen Knight) starring actors from the UK (Naomi Watts), USA (Viggo Mortensen), France (Vincent Cassel), Germany (Armin Mueller-Stahl) and Poland (Jerzy Skolimowski). No one batted an eye, probably because it's a fantastic movie and even though it deals with the Russian mafia it manages to steer clear of stupid clichés.

Stepan is a wonderful comic relief. I absolutely adore his character. Don't we all have a relative like this? Someone we want to hit over the head all the damn time but someone we can't really fault for anything in the end. Stepan is obnoxious, but he cares deeply about Anna and is the first to fully realise the danger they're all in.

I love tattoos. Yeah. So of course I love to see all the ink on Nikolai. For more information on the tattoos, go here.

The tattoos are based on the documentary "Mark of Cain", which can be found on YouTube.

You can see two of Viggo's own tattoos in the movie: The "H" on his right wrist (for "Henry") when he's fiddling with Anna's bike and the fellowship-tattoo on his left arm during the "interview" scene and the famous bathhouse fight. The tattoo on his upper arm was covered up. And yes, that means that mobster Nikolai runs around with some elvish script on his arm. Scary guy.

For years upon years IMDB has a page for Eastern Promises II up. I'm glad that project never happened. I like where the movie ends, I like the possibilities it opens up. A sequel could only take away from that.

Nikolai's sense of humour is hilarious. The way he says "Oh, joke" instead of actually laughing cracks me up every time.

The ending is perfect: The juxtaposition of Anna going out into the sun with her daughter while Nikolai sits in that dark restaurant and plots world domination just slays.

TEH GAY. Absolute love for the way Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel portray these characters. The way Kirill follows Nikolai like a dog while Nikolai leads him on to get what he wants is every fanfiction writer's dream because it opens so many possibilities. You can take so many angles with those two and explore the hell out of their relationship!

Subtly showing Kirill interact with kids throughout the movie to then have him (at least attempt) to kill a baby. 10/10.

Only now did I notice during the end credits that Nikolai's clothes are Armani. I guess crime really does pay well.

And lastly, I could have done without the kiss between Anna and Nikolai at the end. It feels forced, unnecessary and like something they put in because they thought audiences would expect at least a kiss between the leads. Personally, I think it would have been perfectly fine to allow viewers to come to their own conclusions without shoving a kiss into their faces. There's no need to slap something obvious in my face when the two actors were perfectly able throughout the movie to convey that something was brewing between them.

[oliveflavouredmenace]

just for funnies, I'm gonna do a relationship chart thingy realll quick with the characters Olive has interacted with (plus maple, Chris, Ditch, and pebble bc they technically have met but there's so roleplay for them-)

Olive and Bailey: Likes. Literally his big murderous brother guys trust!! He misses hanging out with him a LOT

Olive and Sora: likes. Platonically loves the guy. Misses him every fucking day.

Olive and Zaria: they know she helped Rowan with her plan. So. hate.

Olive and jasper: ehh, neutral (ish). Just has fun messing with him most of the time. So I guess possibly another brother figure idk

Olive and Rowan: despises. Hates. Would kill. Could kill. It’s their fault. Or, that’s what olive thinks anyway.

• Olive and Finn: neutral. Not much to say in this in, olive just doesn't really know Finn that much.

Olive and Jay: ZERO OUT OF TEN. HATE EACHOTHER, DEARLY. WOULD PUNCH THIS MAN FOR A CRUMB OF BREAD BRO. ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM SHUT UP.

Olive and Skipp: do I even need to explain this one? ok, fine. Olive definitely "likes" Skipp. Let's put in simple terms for now, shall we?

Olive and Yuki: Dislike. Only bc bro was in a bad mood when they had met. Then again Olives kinda always in a bad mood, so..-

Olive and Ray: sorta dislike. Only because they had a bad first impression as well. But all of Olive's first impressions involve anger so..no hard feelings?

Olive and Quinn: a like for sure. I mean, her dog had already won them over! Plus she was pretty nice!

Olive and Stone: likes..? Question mark? He was there for them a bunch of times, so. Yeah. Like.

• Olive and Velvette: question mark? Not sure. They don’t have a clear opinion yet.

AND NOW, TIME FOR THE OTHERS THAT ARE CONTROLLED BY ME!:

Olive and Ditch: hate. Hate. Hate. Pure annoyance. If given the chance, Olive would stab him in the neck and stomp on his body. They'd throw his body into the ocean. Plus, Olive would tie giant rocks to his body so he'd sink to the very bottom. Where no one could find him. But he's too important to the story so that'll never happen! Perhaps in another universe...

Olive and Chris: neutral. Not practically close, but Olive does like to call him out for anything he's done wrong. They find it funny how ironically clumsy he is.

Olive and Maple: neutral. That's all I have to actually say but, I don't reallly think they'd have have a straight bond. It would probably be from their friend group, if you know what I mean.

Olive and Pebble: I guess sorta like? I mean, he must be cool if they're dating Bailey. Right? Though I think they've only met like, once..-

AND BONUS: OLIVES RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS!! And Adi!

Olive and Calvin (their father): hate. I thought that was obvious..? But yeah. He's a pretty shitty dad who was verbally abusive and physically abusive. What was worse was it was only olive that WAS being abused, so it was favouritism for sure.

Olive and Charolette (their mother): Strong disliking. Not much as a hate, though. Their mother was fairly nice to them when they were younger. And the only golden child to appreciate. But once Their sister was born, Olives perfect little world had fallen apart.

Olive and Adi: let's get something straight. Olive hates a bunch of people. Like, a lot. But Adi takes the number one spot on the leaderboard. Olive absolutely DESPISES HER. I mean, she RUINED their life! If you were to ask olive how they ended up on the streets, they'd probably say their father. And little sister. If they could torture anyone until the end of time, Olive would 100% pick Adi. I mean, that's the whole reason they had murder their mother. To strike fear into the child, and to get the message clear for her small little mind.

And yeah! I think that's everyone? Question mark? Well, that's everyone olive met! I think? I'll probably put this is the masterpost, and it'll probably change over time as well!

Last updated : Jan 26, 2025

[anika-kanroji16]

Why I don't like Aquakana Part 3

Who expected this raise your hand

✋🏾

Least someone did

Okay basically the newest chapters basically said EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT IT. But I ain't talking about the OBVIOUS MESS WHICH IS THIS. Today I am talking about a take I have been wondering for a while. Does Aqua love? No not Akane. KANA. Does he love Kana?

Aqua "loves" Kana? Does he really? The whole fandom thinks he does, but I don't think he actually loves her, well, at least not in the way you think he does. I was actually talking to a friend whose name is Antoniee. He thinks Aqua doesn't love any of the girls, which includes Kana as well. The more I think about it, the more I think he's right. I don't think Aqua loves Kana. I honestly think that. You guys think he doesn't love Akane but the real person he doesn't like is Kana. Now before you guys start being rage monsters. Let explain.

I don't think Aqua loves Kana romantically. I think he loves her as a best friend and more importantly for the point of this post. I think he loves her as an idol. Aqua said that the type of girl is someone like Ai in season 1 of Oshi No Ko:

And we know two girls which is his type Kana and Akane. And look how he describes Ai : Pretty Smile, Dazzling Performance and eyes that draw you by their very nature.

Reminds me of someone.

But let me explain further just to prove my point. Goro said "You always liked her straightforward gaze" And we all know Kana is like Ai,

Pretty Smile ✅

Performance ✅

Eyes which draw you ✅

So therefore HE LOVES KANA right, WRONG. And let me explain why I still think he likes her as an idol and not as herself cause the picture where Goro said this "You always liked her straight foward gaze haven't you" if he liked Kana for herself it would be her playing baseball with Aqua in season 1.

Not Kana as idol when she first performing.

Not only this but in season 2 episode 12 this also proves my point about him only liking her as an idol. He say "Arima is an idol, any sorta of news of a boyfriend would cause a scandal and would lead to worse ending up like Ai."

Does he care about Kana?, YES VERY MUCH SO!! But I don't think he is saying this because of the reasoning of loving Kana. It's more oh she will be hurt if she dates me or hang out with me and ruin her job as an idol and not I love her and I can't bear to see her hurt. Even with his talk with Mem cho shows that more than anything else.

If this conversation was about how much he loves Kana and not what if she get hurt by a stalker fan because of him hanging out with her then it would have her not being on the stage.

And here what Kana said in chapter 107 "If you want to idolize me, you'd better do it now." In a Idol like pose may I add meaning basically confirms he likes her as an idol and not as her true self. What further implys this is lastest chapters of Oshi No Ko.

In chapter 161 Hikaru mentioned falling in love as one of Aqua's desires with Kana on stage with her last performance. You can say that show he love with Kana which yes be that but it could also be implications that He fallen for the idol of Arima Kana and not the one which off stage. For even more Proof Aqua in the same chapter says that "It might also be a good idea to respond to Kana's feelings"

Here are the keywords that you people miss: "IT MIGHT ALSO BE GOOD IDEA." He probably just said it might be a good idea to make her happy, or he is unsure that being with Kana is what he really wants. Or he is unsure of his feelings for Kana. Further, he proves that he's fallen for the idol, and that was his first mistake. Further, he proves that he never saw Kana as a significant other. Now Compare it to his wants and desires with Akane.

He wants to rebulid a relationship with her showing A CLEAR DIFFERENCE HERE. And in chapter 163 it clearly show him not liking Kana

Espeically because "it had the season 2 kiss with Aqua kissing Akane in the background." and like @skania said "part of Aqua’s the moment he doesn’t catch Kana’s ball (symbolizing that their feelings don’t connect) vs the moment where he chooses to kiss and date Akane for real." Also proving my point even more. And it even explains this scene

And you could say this scene in episode 11 season 1 makes him fall in love with Kana with edivence with Manga but like I said before if they wanted to show he truly loves Kana they should done her with baseball sence in season 1. Not the scene when she literally paralling Ai while being on stage as Idol. Which this more the scene where he fell in love with idol of Kana and Not Kana herself.

And this even explains why Akane says this line.

He isn't in love with Kana, he in love with the idol of her as I have proven time and time again. Now I want to explain Kana's faults cause I said that Kana doesn't understand Aqua but not even enough to describe it.

Akane is the only one which understands Aqua, Kana doesn't even understand Aqua and they were childhood friends. Like @skania Kana never got in understand Aqua as person and romantizance him instead meanwhile Akane still loved him till the very end and still love him for every bit of what he was. Even their conversation on the Balcony in season 1 was pretty much shallow and they don't know each other as well as they think they do like explained 2X in post of my post about Aquakana so I won't drive into it.

I will definetly be doing an part 3 about Aquakane and how Akane fits into his type of girl and how he actualy does love her because of it. Yea that all I have to say :D

[consensus-fiction]

ok like i got nervy about the weird route shit a bit earlier (like. a week ago i think lmfao. to be clear specifically because its blown well past my own threshold for handling Uncomfortable/Disturbing Emotional Shit -in the context of fandom & shipping and stuff- not because i think its BAD) but i think a more general issue i have with kriselle rn (and i don’t actually mean hate on the ship itself in saying this lol) is that -without Susie involved- it usually feels so. reverse-nostalgic. failstalgic? its like being close as kids and then despite everyone trying to move on for perfectly ok reasons just getting stuck back together once you’ve grown and changed. it has a really compelling aspect to it in that sense, i understand what’d draw people TO it even if they do take that reading from it, but i just. makes me sad.

with that AND the much harsher weird route take on things -sorta. taking whats otherwise a failed childhood Fated Don’t-Actually-Understand-What-Love-Is dynamic and Sewing Them Back Together Into Some New Sort Of “Player Character” Entity- i kinda wish people were better about using “shipping” specifically for, like, positively or pleasurable explorations of character dynamics. like while there CAN be overlap (as much as it hurts be to acknowledge people DO often make “serious and emotionally sincere dissections of interpersonal dysfunction” and then shoot their whole experiment in the foot also get off on portions of it, to cite the extreme XP) but i feel like “fascinated with a fictional relationship because they work really well together ^w^” and “fascinated with a fictional relationship because they work REALLY BAD together” could at LEAST use some differentiation based on motive X|.

(susie fixes a lot of the malaise i feel looking at the broader thematic dynamics of those two bc; like, A- its because susie is the ingredient that makes anything taste better as soon as she gets a little character development, but B- its bc shes, like, literally the thematic harbinger of change and autonomy and stuff, plus shes . an actual shared interest between the other two LMFAOOO. also it’d mean one-upping Rouxls at his own game by actually making it work. krusielle truthers begin pointing at the throuple shit from 3 as foreshadowing just like ignore how it turned out)

[ofmossandmist]

Starting (or refreshing) your Spiritual Path

Now that we're beginning the descent into '25, I've been pouring over old notes and journals recently - laughing at mistakes that I thought were tragic and practice-ending, and clearing out old spell jars that were pointless from the start.

That's not to say that they're pointless for everyone! But at that point in my practice, I had no intention or even a true desire for the things I was creating spell jars for - I mean, I did (sort of), but not really. I was simply putting herbs and tiny crystals in jars, sealing them with wax, and essentially forgetting they ever existed.

So while I'm starting the journey of rekindling, reshaping, and revising my spiritual practice, I thought I'd share some lessons that I, so cleverly, decided to learn the hard way.

please keep in mind, these are all my opinions and perceptions, and simply what i've found true for me in my reanalysis of my practice. if this doesn't resonate with you, keep scrolling.

1. Research anything that interests you.

While I was definitely inhaling any and all information I could get my grubby lil paws on back then, I certainly wasn't researching any of it. I wasn't doing the work, I took everything at face value and was simply going through the motions. In other words, I was in "spiritual bypass mode" (this is like doing last night's homework by copying the answers off the person next to you three minutes before class starts). I had no idea what it was that I was actually doing. I thought by making these cute little spell jars and sealing it up with a little prayer inside, I'm good! I did magic! Because at the time I believed that magic is whatever you want it to be.

My pisces sun is so funny sometimes because she'll sit there all innocent-like and wise-lookin, then turn around to reveal the most phfffat, juicy, great-googly-moogly-sized ego out of all the zodiacs. I really took a full five years to work up the courage to even ADMIT TO MYSELF IN. MY. HEAD. that I was struggling and something needed to change. These spell jars that I created for happiness, prosperity, self-love, abundance (and whatever else) actually did the opposite for me. I was severely depressed, broke, and the cherry on top: I genuinely hated myself and who I was becoming.

My point: if you don't research, how do you know what it is you're actually doing? You can *feel* your way through a decent chunk of witchcraft, sure, however the long-term implications of working with things you don't fully understand will show up clearly in hindsight only. Read that again.

(Personally, I research things that will directly affect my practice and if I am interested in knowing more, I dive deeper. I am not telling you that you need to know every single herbal correspondence to each one of the dieties in every pantheon ever to exist just because you want to develop a working relationship with Hestia.)

2. Establish a daily practice.

Once you get step 1 down, the rest becomes butter... sorta. A daily practice was wild to me but I relearned what routines mean. They are simply the things we do in our day-to-day that break up the moments we spend in our head. NOT necessarily a to-do list timed to the minute. Meaning: just try shit. Do the things and then learn from said things. Fuck things up just to learn how to put them back together. Ignore the trends and focus on what you want to see for yourself. Your practice can be as simple as brushing your teeth in the morning and poppin an always-classy-double-finger-gun at the mirror for some quick self-love ORRRRRR as intimate as a fullout 37-step, 2.5 hour glow-up designed to eliminate your pores and your enemies. Ya feel? Just try something and see what works for you.

3. Find Community.

This is my number one personal biggest nope. Don't get me wrong, there are times when hermitude is the way to go - but growing in your practice is MUCH easier* when you have a supportive community of people.

I didn't realize the importance of this when I first began to retreat into reclusivity. I thought I could fix my depression (and my life) with half a snickers bar and a borrowed cup of sugar to sweeten the absolute lemons that were getting yeeted at me - there were only three people in my life at this time, but they pushed me to think deeper, differently, and beyond what I thought I was capable of. You can take yourself a great distance on your own, but you'll always go further with support.

*easy is relative. was it easy to admit that I was a terrible friend for many, many years? no. but I became a better friend because of it. it's a lot easier to keep friends when they actually like you. Get me?

4. Gratitude AND Grace.

Oooof, I really struggle to take the time to stop and appreciate all that I am already blessed with in the moment. I get so caught up in "making room for what's to come" and preparing for the future that I'll forget what's already been in my life.

I have a lot of shame around gratitude that stems from my childhood. I was consistently told I wasn't "grateful enough" for all I was given, (there's a lot to unpack there) but what I've learned is that gratitude shows instead of tells, and it shows the Universe that we are aligned with the energy of receiving. That we are ready for 'the next' because we are fully content and comfortable with where we are and what we have.

In the shadow of Grace, lives Shame. It's a line I often use as a compass to lead the way back to allowing myself the grace to make mistakes. To allow my practice to look imperfect. After all, that's why it's called a practice.

5. Change is inevitable.

You already know this, but it's strange to look back on the beginning on your path from the middle of it. Your gifts and interests will grow and evolve and shift and shrink with you. Be open to that change, it's what will keep you centered, fresh, and grounded. Evolution is natural, lean into the evolution of your personal practice.

I think this can lead back to the whole grace thing. For those of us often scared by change, it can be a shocking thing - it may even seem toxic when things change. During times like that, I (personally) turn to meditation to tune inwards. I go deeper to better understand why certain things are resonating with me and if I truly want to incorporate new energy into my spiritual path.

idk how to end this. like what am I supposed to say??? Do you want my whole life story?? This was only supposed to be some cute little "tips and tricks" guide. I just dropped some deep lore pretty casually up there. That whole ego shit? Do you think I wanted to type that??? You've gotten enough from me. Leave me be. Go learn shit, go start your own things. What are you still doing here? Oh, and by the way, you are not obligated to do anything the way you see it online OR IN BOOKS. You do not have to have an aesthetic practice. Your practice is defined by you alone.

So anyways, kids. Do school, stay drugged and fuck your vegetables.

-Moss

[starboardharpy]

{ABSOLUTELY SHAKES MAKO LIKE A KALEIDOSCOPE /affectionately}

Djfojdidjdjd ok but seriously haiiii I love Mako very much <3 does he have any particular relationships with any of the characters in detentionaire? :0 like who he likessss, who he has beef withhh? OH OH OH- and what's his favorite and least favorite subjects? :3

I'd love to know allllll about Mako ehehe

{ALSO THANK YOU SM FOR THE FANART OF YEONWOO, I ABSOLUTELYISJDODNDKS JUMPED AND GIGGLED WHEN I SAW IT EEEJEJSIDJEUEEEokimgoodnyaowehehe thank you again I loved how you drew her 💕💕💕}

GVSDJV HELLO HELLOOO TYSM :D :D :D

Super rambly, BUT:

For relationships.. not particularly due to him being in the 12th grade while most of the characters are 10th graders, plus how I intend for him to be a background character, so he'd only have little-to-nonexistent interactions with them (he probably has somewhat closer relations to the side characters because of that) though he knows characters via their popularity or roles in the school hierarchy

He knows the News Team since he sees them everyday (through their reports or seeing them do their job across school), honestly loves the news but will fake his death before admitting that. Never really paid much attention to Tina's portion until she began reporting on the weird shit going on, and finds Chaz's gossip section amusing despite knowing it's most likely just baseless rumours. And Stepak, Mako knows him "Tina, Chaz and their cameraman" <- he doesn't know his name...

In a weird/dumb turn of events, Mako does have beef with Chaz of all people. Iirc Chaz was always casted as Alexander Nigma for the school play (Mako is silently seething about it [insert "IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME! NOT HIM, ME!" audio]) up until El Beardo (which he found hilarious). Mako doesn't really mind/care about the role anymore, but he holds it against Chaz. Probably doesn't like Brad for the same-ish reason, he sees him as a nepo baby

(though Mako would probably vibe with them if he didn't dislike them)

Mako had no clue who Lee was before the whole prank fiasco, but started paying attention afterwards especially since wherever Lee went trouble seemed to follow. Finds the shenanigans he gets up to (that Mako knows of) to be very entertaining. He also knows Cam and Holger by association, then Cam more after his school presidency (Mako admittedly has no idea why he's el prez, but he has no complaints)

Steers clear of Biffy because of his reputation as the school bully ("because I'd rather not be near a guy who looks like he could shatter my skeleton if he poked me, thank you very much"). He avoids the 15th graders for similar reasons "why the fuck are they still here? it's been years" (funnily enough, since the 15th graders are like super-super-super seniors iirc, it means they share classes HGSVDJG)

Glamazons (and the popular kids in general). I imagine the Drama clique both admires and envies them, and the same feelings apply to Mako, but the envy is much stronger than the admiration. He kinda hates them if he's being honest

I'm not sure about this one, but I'm thinking Mako might've ran into some of the adult characters (besides, y'know, the school staff) like council members; not long enough to form a relationship obv, but brief enough for him to remember them (probably passed them on the street or saw them in the store, that sorta thing) probably doesn't pay them any mind

And subjects oooo wait, sososo least favourite is math/comp science, it's not that he's bad at it, but 'cause "if I look at the paper too long, it's like the everything's merging together". Sometimes doesn't like English and French classes for the same reason; the words don't really blend together, but "I'm reading the words. I'm hearing them, I've said them. But for some reason it's just not.. processing in my head". Just doesn't like classes that seem too easy ("pfft, whatever, I'll do it later" <- ends up doing it last minute) or too hard ("ughh.. I'll do it after I'm done with the easier stuff" <- puts it off until last minute). His favourite classes on the other hand are art and gym, no deep reason why, he just finds them fun :D

There's more but uhh [rattles my brain like a maraca] it's on the tip of my tongue rn JSDHVHJSH

bdsjhksdjbfkb AND THANK YOU THANK YOUU AGAIN!! :D Yeonwoo seems really cool and interesting too! I'd love to learn more about her :0 :0 :0

[esterzach]

So there goes nothing. “I like her, you know. The Wisdom.” In answer to @poohsticksbridge

To me, the whole scene was a manipulation. Now that I know why, it makes sense. It's just I don't know if this line is true, as in if it's a genuine admiration and warm feelings towards her, or if she means something more. Or, she somehow managed to twist herself in order for this to pass as truth. Because... the previous experience suggests a not-so-great relationship between the two. And I don't think Moiraine is at fault here, although she had started with the left foot with her, albeit on purpose. Also, Moiraine regrets doing that to Lan. It's evident on her face. Before she says that and after Lan leaves. She looks like she feels guilty for doing this. Why do I doubt it was genuine?

I mean here comes this young woman, who is far greater than her in her power, who saved their life, more so - Lan's life, also she managed to take over Lan's attention even before that. Moiraine is human after all. No matter how much the logic says Moiraine has to be grateful, that she understands where Nynaeve's fear comes from, the attitude of the young Wisdom doesn't help a lot. 

She tried to test Moiraine's patience even with that first conversation in Tar Valon. The whole episode Moiraine is down, depressed, sort of defeated. I understand she is at home. But there is so much that she has to worry about. She found the DR and managed to lose him. She comes back to a place where everyone is suspicious of her and looks as if she is a stranger. Or, like Stepin, they probably think she is the odd one. Linadrin has that attitude toward her, and you wonder, is she in love with her or hates her guts or both... I don't know - I don't understand humans. She also senses Lan's worry. After Kerene’s death implications are clear as day - one day this will happen to them.  

On top of that, some feisty young girl threatens her! She tries to speak with her. She tries to explain. And Nynaeve threatens her. Then she goes with Liandrin's advice, Moiraine probably knows that they met, because why else would Liandrin gloat in her face like that. And The next day, not only is the fiasco in the Hall, not only they still mourn Stepin, the Wisdom, in her wisdom, has fucked up again. 

And dares to snarl at Moiraine "Of course". Kid, can we NoT!?

Moiraine has just healed Mat, who by the way, tried to kill her, she is exhausted so much that she stumbles after whatever was crawling over her face ... (properly disgusting, great work!), and Nynaeve is like You again!

I mean, no matter how zen you are... just...

I don't know, I understand I am not neither as mature nor as calm and composed a person as I have to be, considering... but keeping a good demeanor and good attitude after that... It would be hard for anyone. Moiraine is a bigger person than most of us I guess. 

Then there is more. Things are piling up. And as hilarious as it is for us... and no matter how Moiraine would see through her, Nynaeve insults The Amyrlin throne. Twice. Now... if it was anyone else, it would have been sorta kinda “whatever” for Moiraine... But just imagine a random woman, a stranger comes into your home and insults someone you love. A partner, or a relative... She is supposed to be an adult, I get she is young and defensive, but ... Plus the famous line: "Siuan Sanche waits for only one woman. And it's not you!" Yet again it was a reaction to Nynaeve casually insulting Siuan, dismissing her as she is not that important "Let her wait!" It shows at least two things, that most people caught. That is Moiraine being absolutely confident in her relationship with Siuan. She puts Nynaeve in her place - she can not talk about The Amyrlin this way in front of her. But in order to get from Moiraine being nice, all smiles, expecting both girls to be grateful and happy with the surprise, to her being so irritated that she loses control and lets that slip in front of two people who have NO CLUE about her relationships with Siuan, this has to strike a nerve. She is mad! Not that Nynaeve gets that not-so-subtle hint. Because only minutes later, she does it again! This time, thankfully for Nynaeve, Moiraine follows Siuan's reactions and just smiles.

At the Waygate "Why should we trust you?" I mean this was within reason I guess... But still, it adds up to the pile of what Moiraine takes from her. And this is maybe a few hours after the Oath Rod event.

And then there is Fal Dara. 

So finally I am getting to the “I like her, you know!” My initial reaction: “You do? Since when?". Because it comes right after "You forget, girl, that I can not lie!" Her tone so obviously says she is done with her behaviour, that it almost doesn’t allow other interpretation. She turns to her with "girl". OUCH! That was on purpose. Nynaeve craves for people to take her seriously, and Moiraine knows it since the village and their conversation. People commented on her previous line about the wisdom being a sick burn. I think this one is actually worse.

Moiraine just said to her you are nothing but a little girl, a child who thinks that she can play in the world of the adults. And that was in front of Lan.

So I don’t know if have a good enough explanation for her next line, MINUTES later. If it was phrased in another way, maybe... But it takes quite the jump from her previous behaviour, to be taken as clean truth. Now, I understand why Moiraine had to say that she likes Nynaeve and possibly it has to be true. It was part of her plan. She had to push Lan to her, to have him out, she needed him to be distracted that night, so she could release the Bond. Moiraine needed a reason to mask the Bond. And I think the masking before in Tar Valon was done with the same purpose - to have the excuse to make Lan ( and us) NOT question her or run to her when she does it again. Lan is outraged the first time she does it- he immediately goes to her. This is not something she usually does. She says It’s been two years. I thought you would appreciate the break. The thing is we all assumed Moiraine and Siuan hadn't seen each other in two years. That might not been the case at all. Maybe it's been two years since she masked the Bond. They may even share … the fun times. But she needs a reason now for Lan to think this is something she does. "Hey, I am letting you have privacy tonight."

Plus, Lan already sensed something was wrong. He asks her and Moiraine tells him. She practically leads him to get to the answer himself later on, just not right now. She does the same thing before she sends him away in S2. She explains to him her motives for her next actions, so when he thinks over it later on, he has all the answers. "Nostalgia. The air reminds me of the night we met. (that statement is a bit shaky, I think she was trying to lie here) I feel like I’ve taken everything from you. There is more to life than me, than this mission. (There is absolutely no hesitation in those, so this is her telling her absolute truth and regret).  And the last push - “I like her, you know. (a pause) The Wisdom." A push toward Nynaeve. She has given him approval. This is her saying goodbye. It doesn’t matter who is the Dragon at this point. That is before Rand reveals what he knew.

That pause though is slightly suspicious. Maybe I just started to read too much in every word, but her speech patterns matter, and what she says often can be interpreted in more than one way. She makes connected statements, they look like a flowing monologue, but the connection between them is placed there to create a suggestion, that this is what she means. It sounds like one thing leads to another, and separately they are truths, but sometimes there is more hidden in them, and they actually stand alone as separate information. The person who listens hears what she says but receives an overall message or conclusion from her last words, that may not be the actual meaning of her words. (Right before the scene with Lan, Rand argues with Agwene. She says: "Moiraine can not lie" and he answers: "That doesn't mean she cannot mislead." It feels like they make a point with this, a hint to prepare the audience that something will happen in this direction). They did that in S2 E2 with her, but because we already heard other Aes Sedai using elusive language to hide or obscure truth, we started searching for it in their speech and it became more obvious. The writers use that trick, like the magician's hand - look here, not there. It shouldn’t work, but it does, because like Lan, we are not used to it, we are not expecting it. And we are focused on something else. On the one that doesn't matter that much. It's why most people thought the Bond was masked even after S2E8.

Lan doesn’t expect Moiraine to actively manipulate him. In his mind their relationships are clear. He knows Moiraine can do that. He is perfectly aware that he has an intelligent woman trained on two fronts to be very precise with her words and is able to play with them. He knows she is capable. But using it on him? She has no reason to do that. So she uses manipulation to make him go outside and spend some time with his people. Counting on Nynaeve she will somehow follow - she is curious, she tends to go around and she is interested in Lan. The rest is maybe sheer luck.

The music in the background is the same as when she was saying goodbye to Tar Valon and Siuan. Even the setting is similar- she watches from a high place. If Tar Valon represents her connection to Siuan, Fal Dara is Lan. And she is saying goodbye to Fal Dara and to Lan. The other option is that Moiraine actually really thinks that. There are after all two big moments, where Nynaeve saves everyone. Both times Moiraine turns toward her and gives her a look. She has seen exactly how Nynaeve reacts when the people who she cares about are in danger. She also knows that Nynaeve's behaviour is dictated by fear and jealousy, by insecurities, but this is only a surface level. If one manages to ignore her big mouth and the constant jabs toward Moiraine, the core of her personality is the instinct and the desire to protect. She saves everyone the first time by pure instinct, in her rage and desperation, refusing to accept the reality of the situation. Moiraine even says it to Liandrin - The healer who saved the dying with her first channeling, choosing Red? Get outa here.

The second time though, in the Ways, Nynaeve hears her own fears in the words of The Black Wind. That she will watch them all die and do nothing. And is like "Fuck that". She is the one who steps in front of everyone and creates a sort of shield. She is pissed, but she is choosing it. She actively steps ahead and seeks for her power. It is not a surprise to her this time. Two people refuse to give up on The black wind. Everyone else is paralyzed on the ground trying to survive. There is a moment, while Moiraine is channeling to open the gate when she turns around and sees what Nynaeve is doing. Lan is there, trying to pull her back so they can leave. Moiraine awaits until everyone is out.

Once outside, the group is trying to process what happened. Everyone is crying. Even Moiraine has red eyes from whatever she had heard in there. Nynaeve looks quite composed though. Angry, but overall she seems fine. Moiraine turns to her and says "Well done." Then she adds "Everyone". Nynaeve is the first to speak. So Moiraine already saw her saving everyone, standing up to a magical power that took over your mind and was enough composed to think clearly after the whole mess. That probably wins her quite the respect of the Aes Sedai. So from Moiraine's perspective, if she is to leave Lan, if he ends up with a powerful, overprotective stubborn woman, whose first instinct when they are in danger is to get over herself - every fear, every insecurity, even barriers built up for years, who on top of it has feeling for him - that might not be that bad.

[the-six-that-thrive-if]

I was actually holding off on playing this until my exams were over but I lost myself to temptation and honestly this was just an amazing update. I would have probably hated myself for not reading this sooner if I have waited tbh😭

Initially, I was a bit confused bout who exactly moi MC should romance but I think Dante just single handedly cleared those doubts by a landslide and we haven't even fully met the other ROs yet🛐 I'm just in love with the way you portray him, like he actually feels alive and reading his parts are like breathing in fresh air, you know.

And I had to read that 'nudges MC's leg apart' part 60k times just for it to register in my head that I hadn't hallucinated that😭 and also was the actually the Warden outside MC's window?? If it is, I find it hilarious that this dude was just casually hanging outside smones window and being just shady af.

And honestly though, it should be a crime that Ro isn't actually an RO (...was that a twisted pun on your part btw?🥹)

I mean forget kissing MC's temple, stroking their spine but this man had me at stocking their fridge like hello? do u want to get married that badly?

Btw, it's implied a bunch of times in the demo, about how our dad clearly shows signs of genuine care towards the mc and blaming himself etc etc but the mc always has this 'he's disappointed in me' mentality. Is that actually a semi set feature of the mc coz it felt a bit contradictory to everything we've been getting about the dad in actuality. I mean I understand that we, the readers, maybe a bit omniscient in some things related to the plot, as in seeing things the MC can't see, but MC seems well aware of their situation it.

Either way, I think this was a great update mainly because it really balanced out the other chapter quite well, I think. It felt like the pace slowed down a bit and honestly that was a really great choice. Also, I did feel a lot of things were missing when i first read this if's demo but the additions in the previous chapters really bring together the entire demo as a whole. I think the only criticism I have is towards the amount of grammatical and vocabulary related mistakes, it did throw me off the plot in some areas but nevertheless it's pretty solid.

Also, have you already selected the beta testers btw?

(v sorry for this long ask, i think i rambled a bit too much😶)

The grammatical errors will forever be the bane of my existence and I will fix them. But everything else aside, I'm really glad and I adore long asks so don't worry.

But I'm really glad you enjoyed it, I had felt that the pacing was a bit off and there was just so many things I really really wanted to add, just wasn't equipped in doing so. Aswell as my financial situation is rocky and before I hadn't had access to a computer, which is the cause of my hella long hiatus. But I really really wanted to grow the world MC is in and make y'all familiar with it. So finally learning code and learning it well enough honestly helps me so much in accomplishing what I really want to accomplish.

With MC and their dad/ur dad it's sorta predetermined, but you'll get the chance to actually face you and your father's relationship before it's too late. I feel that where MC is, it's an honest bitterness. I mean comparing the rest of their family, Racheal, their mom, Charles, even Amelia show how much they love MC, but we'll definitely get more insight into why he acts the way he does and everything in the coming chapters!

And the Ro stroking your spine, yes he did that. I absolutely had to throw that in.

And Dante feeling alive, I really really try by just adding habits and things that extend outside of speech and just ugh, that is such a huge compliment!