#to be able to expect 3+ shifts a week of REASONABLE hours... EVERY WEEK?
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AITA for not watching my sick goddaughter and then not wanting to watch her sick brother
*fake names used obviously
Two days ago I got a message from my goddaughter's mom, Nancy, saying that my goddaughter, Natasha, had thrown up at school. The reason Nancy let me know was because her husband would be picking up Natasha's little brother, Dennis, who I watch from 7:30 AM to 3:30 PM most days.
Anyway, I have an extreme, irrational fear of throwing up. So after Nancy let me know Natasha was sick, I was afraid Nancy would then ask if Natasha could come over to my house the next day along with Dennis. Nancy works the night shift so she sleeps during the day and her husband works from 8 AM to 4 PM. I've watched both kids since they were infants. I love them as if they were my own, but when they're sick with a stomach bug, or just throwing up for whatever reason, I would prefer they stayed home away from me so that I can avoid getting what they have lol.
I've always felt bad about this, because they're little and I feel like at my grown age I should be okay with being around them if they've thrown up. Yet, I find myself internally freaking out about getting sick AND I get so paranoid I swear I make myself sick sometimes. Nancy knows this about me.
Sure enough, Nancy calls me and nonchalantly asks if Natasha can come over the next day with Dennis because the school told her Natasha couldn't return for 24 hours. Usually I would give in and say yes because I feel bad saying no, but recently my brother's have reminded me that Nancy only pays me 200 dollars every two weeks to watch Dennis four days a week, eight hours a day. Nancy has acknowledged that she'd have to pay way more at a daycare, so she appreciates what I, and my family do for them.
I love the kids, I really do, but despite having known their parents for so long it feels as though Nancy and her husband only really see me and my family as the help and almost expect us to always be available. Or maybe I'm just projecting my insecurities onto them about not feeling appreciated enough? Which I know is bad, but it's instances like this that have bothered me in the past. You wouldn't take the children to a daycare if they've thrown up right? Or if they're sick with something like covid (which they gave us like two years ago), or if they have a fever, but they've brought them over anyway. It feels mean, you know? Like I love the kids, but I don't want to get sick. Maybe I'm just a horrible, paranoid, awful person and I do think that sometimes. Ha ha, is this an instance in which it would be ok to set a boundary🤔😭
On top of that, I don't charge Nancy extra (nor does she offer to pay) when she asks me to watch the kids on the weekends for a few hours or when she's got time off of work and wants to bring them over. I know this is my fault, because I do not charge her, but again I feel bad asking for more money. My biggest fear for a long time was that she would stop bringing the kids over if I did ask for a little raise or asked her not to bring them over if they were sick, but was always reminded by my brothers that Nancy didn't want to pay for daycare. Still I felt too ashamed to ask for more babysitting money or for Nancy or her husband to keep the kids home sick, and again I feared she would find someone else to watch the children.
Anyway, I told Nancy no. I was very apologetic and reminded her that I get really paranoid when someone is sick throwing up. I told her I just didn't want to get sick because then I'd be out for one to two days. Which would mean I wouldn't be able to watch Dennis and she or her husband would have to miss out on a day of work. Nancy sounded let down, maybe annoyed? I'm not sure, I can't remember. I am kind of spiraling about it  as I'm typing this out now. I feel really bad that I said no, especially because Nancy called me from her car so Natasha heard me say no. Luckily, Natasha was happy that she would get to go spend time with her mom at work. Nancy works in an office as the manager of a warehouse, so it's not like Natasha had to wait in some break room or alone somewhere.
Then tonight I get a message from Nancy saying Dennis threw up, and the panic set in all over again. I feel bad telling her to keep him, even though she eventually offered to keep him home after my many questions: what time did it happen; did he only puke once; does he have a fever; how is he feeling now? I'm sure she's annoyed that I might say "Yes, please keep him." Because that would mean she would either have to stay awake with him and not sleep before work tomorrow night, or that her husband would have to stay home. I think I'm going to tell her to keep him. I feel bad, but I guess not bad enough, huh? I'm trying to justify it to myself, I know, but that's why I'm here. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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lambilegs · 6 months ago
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hi!! idk if your requests are still open, but i just had a thought about lee after the ending of the movie. i was thinking that she possibly would adopt a dog to feel safer at her cabin (since poor baby couldn't even have peace there when kobble walked in </3), but what's your opinion on my thought? maybe you have a specific dog race in mind as well? :3
lee with a dog headcanons 🐶
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note to anon: hehe they are open!! (also to anyone wondering you can always check my pinned to see if they are mwah <3) and omg, yeah, I could definitely see her feeling incredibly on edge and haunted by everything that happens in the movie. so, to preface, this post is super long and very detailed LOLLL basically, my gf, who absolutely loves dog, and I got super invested in this idea and finding a good breed for lee and figuring out how her life would be w it, so yeah hehe (also these headcanons are super disorganized and messy just to warn 😭) thank you sm for such a sweet and interesting req, I loved writing it hehe
and credits to: my amazing gf, who helped so so soooo much with this!! he literally made an entire notion page with info on how to train a kangal, like, he was DEDICATED to this fic
header by: @fairytopea
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okay so I feel like her main requirements for a dog would be: low-maintenance (due to her long hours at work), protective (one of her main reasons for getting one would be for her own sense of ease after one too many anxious nights deprived of sleep), relaxed personality-wise (she would one hundred percent not be able to handle an extremely energetic dog) and physically active (so she can jog w it)
I have consulted w a dog expert (aka my gf) about which dog would fit all these requirements, and his answer was a kangal, so let's go with that
when lee's first introduced to this dog at the shelter, she is... slightly terrified KDJDKDJ listen, she can barely handle a child, so seeing the first kangal, a huge, intimidating dog, is enough to have her blinking hard at the photograph, gulping LMAO
but, it is, however, the only dog that really fits all of her desires, so she's introduced to three of them, which really just consists of her standing awkwardly next to each. she doesn't know what qualifies for the "clicking" the staff keeps swearing by, and just watches each dog she's introduced to from a tentative distance, observing it carefully. the friendlier one moves to approach her, which leads to her stepping away, lips pursing in embarrassment when the staff member laughs
eventually, she's introduced to a rescue named jasper, who was recently given up. like the other two that came before him, his size is formidable and has her slightly shifting at first sight. but, he doesn't make any move to come closer. he keeps his distance, watching her just as carefully as she does him
after the guy standing by her whips his head, back and forth, between them, he says, "okay, this might be a match"
and that's how, after way more paperwork, screening and procedure than she anticipated, lee winds up up with a dog
totally underestimates how much of a commitment it is on her end. she's calling the trainer whose number was given to her nearly everyday, asking a string of confused questions as to how to handle this or that LMAOOOO
as selfish as it sounds, she had only really desired the dog for protection purposes -- she didn't expect that she'd actually need to put so much work into bonding w him DJSKDJSK
because jasper is already trained by his last owner, she essentially has to re-establish those already existing skills by going on walks with him and trying out commands in different places. in addition to this, she needs to play games with him. in all honestly, she's not really thrilled at the idea at first. sure, an animal might be easier to socialize with, but that doesn't make the task of it any less draining on her, someone who'd infinitely prefer to just keep to herself
ensue the next few weeks, where lee gets up an hour early every morning to walk with jasper through the mass of trees surrounding her forest. in her pocket, she carries treats, and a note scrawled with directions she had written during her phone call, with things such as: for "look at me" command, hold treat in front of face, then try different places, then different situations, then do it holding finger between eyes
she seriously wonders if this is what it's like to raise a kid LMFAOOOO. she feels a tad silly guiding jasper, never having been one who particularly enjoyed teaching -- when she has, it's been for intellectual reasons, rather than the position of power, so having nothing to teacher jasper but such basic commands is a bit out of her league. expect her to be extremely particular about everything, repeating the trainer's words in her mind as she helps jasper sit by moving her hand w the treat and marking on her calendar when she should start trying to slowly remove the treat from the equation and use the commands in different settings
and that's when the first bolt of something, tenderness, shoots through her. the first time she doesn't give jasper the treat, her stomach tightens in acute sadness at the sight of him expecting it. when he manages to successfully follow her directions, she tries to be a bit more enthusiastic in her "good boy" and head pat, which are usually done in her typical flat tone and light, barely there touches
combine this w boundary training, and she feels like a full time mom LMFAO
when she slowly stops actively training with him, sleeping in instead of spending the daily hour with him, she's surprised at just how... off her day feels without it
I think the first few weeks he spends guarding her house, she's wracked with anxiety for him. what if someone harms him? she knows kobble is gone, but apparently intensive therapy hasn't been enough. not only is she still afraid for herself, but now she feels accountable for anything that happens to the dog. with time, she's able to manage the anxiety better, forcing herself to stay in bed and do breathing exercises rather than repeatedly wander onto her porch and worriedly look for jasper's large form (yes it takes many days for her to not immediately jump at the side of his large form emerging from the trees)
it takes her a while to see their bond as anything beyond... professional (her coworkers laugh right at her face when she uses this phrasing LMAO). the walks, the playing catch, it's really just for the sake of getting him accustomed to her commands. aside from that, she doesn't really... interact w him unless it's necessary, like when she feeds him or when she pats him solely for the sake of helping him with commands
but, every now and then, she feels this care and worry for him. when the weather starts getting colder, it makes her uncomfortable to see him asleep on the cold, hard ground. she knows he's built for it, and probably barely senses it with how large he is. but, still...
cue two weeks later, she's waking early again to build jasper a dog house (yes I'm convinced lee is good w woodwork and yes I'm projecting)
when he first goes into it and curls up, she can't help but feel warm satisfaction roll through her, happy to know she contributed to his comfort the way he does for her
it all gets more heightened when one night, a car drives too close to her house, and the flashing lights and lingering driver has her breaths shortening, stomach seized so tightly with panic that she drops her gun to the floorboards of her porch, watching the lights slowly disappear into the trees with tear-filled eyes
she flinches when jasper gets close to her, her breathing still heavy and shaky, stomach curled with nausea. he keeps his space, watching her with levelled eyes. when the intentional breathing isn't enough to anchor her, she raises a trembling palm up, tears slipping out when he raises his head to it and nuzzles softly. feeling the softness of his head, the heavy presence of him next to her, helps her ground herself
seeing him be so in tune to her feelings, and so willing to help her, cracks the professionalism in her, and she finds herself vulnerable with him for the rest of the night, tossing on her winter jacket and smoking on the porch while he sits next to her on the steps. when her tears subside, she remains there for another hour. for months, she had feared coming out onto her porch at night, but now, it feels a bit easier
the next day, when she returns early from work, she watches him for a few seconds from her car, sound asleep in his doghouse. he's still intimidating, still larger than life, but something in her softens at the sight
lee starts spending several evenings a week w him, sitting out on her porch and looking through case files, listening to her walkman or just smoking (she finds out that smoking next to a dog is not good, so she now keeps jasper at a distance when she does)
it's nice. he's calm, levelled, a lot like her, so it doesn't feel overwhelming to be in his company. and it's just nice to have some company at all. she's always liked the solitary nature of her home, but since kobble, more and more moments have occurred where the isolation of her home feels like a threat. and jasper, in his own way, helps, a lot
and it turns out he can be pretty... fun company, honestly. the more she bonds with him, and the closer they get, she finds herself loosening up with him. it's been years, probably a decade, since she's actually played in the most literal sense of the word. with the obligation of training out of the way, and her own comfort having bloomed with him, it becomes easier to eventually forgo the embarrassment of running around the trees and playing frisbee with jasper.
she feels like a kid again, and she surprises herself one day by actually laughing when jasper misses catching a frisbee
and when she trips, he immediately runs to her, ducking down to check on her, and it's almost laughable how embarrassed she is to have tripped in front of a dog LMFAOOOO
weeks later, and the two of them are going on her morning jogs together, racing each other through the snowy trees, and at least for a few moments, lee can forget her troubles
she realizes just how attached she is when it's raining hard one night, and, pierced with sympathy, she calls him in and spends the evening with him sitting at her feet while she sits at her desk and does work
she also totally lets him sleep in her bed that night, and though his formidable size is really awkward to adjust to at first, she winds up spending the entire night immensely comforted by his presence, waking with her arm tossed over him while he watches her over
she leaps back at the sight of him LMFAO but trust me, in a matter of months, her and jasper have several little sleepovers hehe
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kaerwrites · 9 months ago
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Sorry, guys; I know only like 2 people are at all interested in this. But this is my writing blog, so whatever the muses want, the muses get.
I spent the morning thinking about the Nest?
I have a few "rules" cemented in my mind:
things have to look normal and not-insane to parents and school officials. Difficult/challenging/strict, yes, but nothing that would have parents yoinking their babies out because they haven't seen or heard from them in a year. Nothing that overtly screams CULT from the outside.
they definitely use every tactic in the "What Makes a Cult" handbook.
The Nest is kind of run like a prison.
The Nest
"16-hour days" make the most sense when viewed as 16 hour work shifts.
During the week, 2 days of 16 hours of work, 1 off day: MT W TF
On the weekend, Saturday is another 16 hour day (so 3 in a row), Sunday is off
Still go to class throughout the week
Homework/projects mostly done on Wednesdays and Sundays
Most try to catch up on sleep
A Work Day - 5am-9pm
5:00 - 6:30
Gym
6:30 - 7:30
Breakfast
7:30 - 8:00
Free
8:00 - 11:00
Classes/Court Time
11:00-12:00
Lunch
12:00 - 1:00
Free
1:00 - 5:00
Classes/Court Time
5:00 - 6:00
Dinner
6:00 - 7:00
Free
7:00 - 9:00
Court Time
Meals are ONLY served within the stated hours and are first come, first serve.
There is always "enough" for everyone, but the good stuff goes fast.
A "commissary" is available to purchase snacks and limited supplies during break hours, but at a huge markup. It still gets used due to convenience/lack of free time to go somewhere else. The players call it the commissary because it feels like prison.
Free time is meant to be used to study, work on projects/homework. Some will socialize or grab a nap, but there is very little recreation time. Technically, you are free to do whatever you want, even leave campus, but it is very difficult to squeeze everything in, so this doesn't happen often.
If you do not have class, you are expected to be on the court or, if there is not enough time to change in/out of your gear, the gym.
They KNOW your schedule and where they expect you to be at all times while you are "working." They will tell you whether or not you have time to change in/out for Court - you don't judge this for yourself. If your class is cancelled for whatever reason, you are to reach out to an assistant coach for guidance on how to spend your time.
Curfew in the Nest is a strict 10:00.
All lights except for emergency lights are shut off. You must have an (approved) personal desk lamp in your room if you want to be able to read or do homework after 10. Some students use flashlights or phone lights. Candles are prohibited.
"Bed check" - an assistant coach may walk through the rooms to make sure that everyone is accounted for. You are not required to sleep at 10, but you must be in your rooms unless you have approval from a coach, or you will be considered in violation of curfew.
Things like travel time from the Nest to class, time to shower, get dressed, do hair, etc are expected to be planned for during your meal or free time allowances. There is never an excuse for being late, untidy, or unprepared for class. Players must be careful to use their time wisely.
Laundry service is available for a fee, or players can access the Nest's laundry facilities on their own for free. (Uniforms and equipment are maintained by the school.) Please remember that Raven dress code requires all player attire to be neat, pressed, and appropriate. Please refer to the player handbook for acceptable and unacceptable examples.
While the showers in the locker rooms are segregated by sex, the showers in the living quarters are communal. There are no stalls in either.
Players are encouraged to schedule most of their classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays so that most of the team will be present to practice together throughout the day on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Anything such as hair/nail appointments, personal shopping, off-campus entertainments, visitors, etc should be scheduled for Wednesday or Sunday. Students are free to leave campus at any time, so long as they are back by curfew. After 10:00, the Nest will be locked, and anyone still out will need to call a coach to be let in.
Players are contractually obligated to attend pep rallies and other team-related functions.
Things like campus parties, volunteer time, and press interviews will be assigned as needed.
The schedule is only a guideline. Exceptions may be made due to game days, travel time, and other approved events.
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chaletnz · 9 months ago
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Medellin to Quito
It was really hard to drag my exhausted legs out of bed this morning but I was excited for the trip to continue into Ecuador tonight. After packing up and checking out, I made a 15 minute walk up to Pergamino cafe to try one more Medellin hipster cafe. Unlike all the previous cafes they didn't do any kind of table service so I had to go up to counter to order and pay but of course they still expected a tip! The flat white was pretty average, not as good as Hijamia all the previous days! The smoothie bowl was also a bit disappointing, the texture was quite thin so all the fruit sunk to the bottom. The internet was good though so I took some time to write my blog and upload photos to Instagram before heading back. The walk back was downhill so it was much easier, I decided to get one more coffee at Hijamia since they were so consistently good before returning to the hostel to get my bag and get an Uber to the airport. The check in process with Latam was great as always with that airline, they checked my bag in for free and gave me an aisle seat near the front of the plane. I wandered around the airport a bit and found the first postcards of the trip thus far - but no stamps and no way to post them so I ended up not buying. The saddest Burger King of my life was had in the Medellin terminal, squashed burger and cold limp chips and then an uneventful flight to Bogota for a short layover where I tried to figure out where I'd need to buy my metro card when I returned here in a week. There was a money exchange place right beside my gate with the best rate in Colombia so far so I went and changed $100 for when I came back and had to go to Neiva probably without much time to change cash then. Unfortunately on this flight, I had also been seated up front on the aisle in the same seat but when I boarded there was a woman in my seat who I had seen around in a wheelchair and she was not able to move. Not sure who put her in my seat instead of hers but I awkwardly squeezed past her in my boot to the window seat and sat there trapped for 3 hours until we landed in Quito. Quito airport was nice and modern, friendly people around who could speak good English and I could flush the toilet paper! The airport gave me very high hopes for the country as a whole but when I picked up my backpack the rain cover was now ripped and out in the arrivals area it was deserted. The wifi did not connect and I wasn't sure what to do. There were some girls standing with signs for taxis so I approached and asked the price to downtown expecting to be gouged but they said $27 which was very reasonable! The taxi driver was a lady called Evelyn and there were times I thought this was a rogue kidnapping. She drove at very high speeds, ran red lights, had high beams on in the fog, and didn't ever signal when lane changing - all with her clutch squeaking every time she shifted gears. The ride was very jerky as she didn't slow the car with the gears, just getting into 5th as quickly as possible and then braking hard! I was very relieved when we arrived at the hostel and she buzzed to get me inside as the downtown streets were eerily quiet and deserted. The night receptionist Jonathan greeted me and checked me in, I felt bad as they had closed at midnight and it was about 12:15 by the time I arrived since the airport was so far away. The room was empty except for me so I was getting a private room for $10 a night which suited me well, although I had another night so maybe more people would arrive tomorrow. So far so good for Ecuador!
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olderjodijournals · 2 months ago
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Sunday, March 2, 2008
Friday was shitty, yesterday was better. Either way, I can’t believe it’s March and we’re still here, and I got falsely promised 9K by a huge company! But I’ve been places I didn’t want to be since I was 15 years old, and my life’s been full of false hope and promises, so I shouldn’t be too surprised. It’s ironic that he fine-tuned the horses right after we reapplied that spell, though, and stopped that cold from setting in. Too bad it hasn’t done a damn thing as of yet to get Rhino to pay up and I doubt it ever will at this point. The only problem with the horses is that while even I’m now surer than ever that yes, it can get us more than comfortable money-wise, is how long it may take to do it. I still worry we could be here for several more months and that alone makes me want to drop dead. This may not be jail or Valleyhead or a project, but it’s still no place to live either. If I’d known just how bad things would be down here, and if I’d finally learned that, for me, dreams are just dreams not meant to be made a reality, and if I’d known that the horse thing wasn’t a bust, after all, I’d have stayed up in that freeing dump until we could’ve saved more than enough to go to Nevada. But I’m also glad I did get to live out my dream of living in California, even if it’s nothing like I dreamt it to be.
The reason I was bummed out Friday was that it lost a couple of bucks. He made most of it back yesterday, and that’s when he realized he’s needed 3 ingredients all along – the computer’s picks, the expert’s picks, and his picks. The computer can’t predict every single horse in every single race, the experts make sure to keep the percentages low enough so people still want to bet in person at the tracks themselves, and Tom’s only human. However, he’s found that if all 3 agree when making predictions, then he’s more likely to profit. He said not to worry if we have losing days because that’s to be expected. I didn’t know this and thought we had to profit every day in order to succeed. He said that had he gone about things the way he used to, without those 3 ingredients, he’d have lost money today for sure. Up until yesterday, he was doing one track a day, today he did two, and tomorrow he’s going to do 4. Then he hopes to be able to bet more money to make more money.
He stood up till 1 AM to get himself used to the new hours coming up. He’ll be working 2 PM-10 PM and may still get overtime at times. They said he’d still get the 5% shift differential if they have him work days, which they might sometimes have him do. He’ll only be working with one nice quiet guy, instead of all those mean, rude assholes, so he’s happy about that, even though we’d both still prefer him not to have to work for anyone but us!
All in all, I still don’t know that we’ll ever get out of this room alive. He agrees there’s a possibility Tinkerbell has something to do with holding us back here since this is the last place she was, and so we both agreed to talk to her in our own way, even though I already have and urge her to let us go and to follow us out of here. We’re letting her know that the sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get new rats for her to channel through.
At least we’re back in shorts and running the AC during the daytime while the Klammers are getting down to just 15º tonight!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Amazingly, it’s been one whole week that we haven’t had to deal with anyone in the end room, but they’ve been putting one person after another in the inside room. They haven’t been a problem, though, fortunately. The last guest was a little annoying, but they haven’t come and gone like crazy or gotten carried away with the banging like end roomers love to do.
Now for the bad news. I dreamt I was telling Tom there was enough food to eat for a while, and he said, “That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about paying for the motel and gas.” As soon as I awoke from that one, I knew there was trouble ahead. Sure enough, the horses were the biggest letdown, losing $12 in an attempt to double the money, since we thought he finally homed in on the numbers. Even I have to admit it had looked more promising than ever, but it was just another tease from above. Yeah, something up there is just so damn bored that it needed another good laugh at our expense. If it isn’t God cursing us, then what is??? First it’s Satish with his house, then the 9K, and now the horses again. What next?
Now past dreams and events make more sense. The dream where the horses won 2K was only signaling the extreme fluke we had where it won a few days in a row like never before. The Netwinner dream meant Rhino still won’t pay up. And October wasn’t to reunite my folks and I but to prepare us for our inevitable deaths. Last October wasn’t a reprieve, but just a short life extension. That’s all it was. If there was any meaning behind the reunion it was only to pass along our stuff to them, if they’d like to have it. I’ve left notes for them with ways to contact my friends, for Tammy, explaining why I could never forgive her, and for the motel, letting them know, as I did with my folks, that we’re sorry to have to put them out as nice as they’ve been to us. I gave my folks access to my doc files and more, so they could get a better understanding of why we’re going to off ourselves, but I don’t think they’ll ever get it because fortunately for them, while they may’ve had their share of problems, they’ve never gone through anything remotely like what we have, so it’s hard for people to understand what they can’t relate to.
I’m just sick of this shit!!! Every time it looks like there’s hope after all and that we may make it out of here, other than to a rocking apartment, it turns out the joke’s on us. It’s like something up there has given us an ultimatum – either stay put or suffer an apartment. Well, we’re not going to do either! We’ve suffered and settled with enough! I’ll miss spending time with Tom, my stereo, downloading music, renting movies, reading, writing, getting dolls and incense, having rats, and so much more. But we won’t be struggling in the midst of people who can’t shut up and let us even think in peace, let alone live in it. Tom doesn’t want to die but loves me enough not to let me die alone, saying that we’re not backed into a corner this time and that we do have a choice. But look at what the choices are! We’re backed in enough, just not in the desperate way we were last October. I’m sure that most people would agree that if their only choices were to live poorly and miserably or die, they’d rather die.
Tom said he considered lying and saying we won today, but he doesn’t do that. That’s good, cuz he couldn’t have hidden this forever, though he certainly did the right thing by not letting me know that the new debit card was really 10 days away and not 3, cuz I’d have been freaking out a whole lot more than I was if that were even possible.
He said today he found that this particular brain he used couldn’t do California tracks like his other one could, and while he admitted that he was wrong about those 3 ingredients being the answer, he’s still so damn naively optimistic! He still thinks it’ll work out and that Rhino will pay us. I know he can’t help how he is, but he’s the one that’s been wrong on things lately and I’m the one who’s been right. If I say I don’t see us ever owning a place again or living in a peaceful place without the problem neighbors and money struggles until we do, why would I be wrong? Of course I haven’t been able to picture, to feel us ever getting out of here, moving into a place, unpacking our stuff. Because it’s not going to happen!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Tom says he’s been at peace for days now and accepts the fact that things are going to be as they are. He says he doesn’t think I’m ready to die because I’m still mad and sad. Oh, but I am ready, alright, as opposed to settling for what few options we have in our sorry lives. Sure I’m pissed and depressed. I wanted the same American dream we all want. I wanted a nice place to live and to do the things we enjoy doing. But for some of us, that simply can never be. My dream house was just that – a dream. I hope that when we’re dead God will love us enough to give us a nice home in the afterlife, but I was foolish to trust Him in this life. If he didn’t care about innocent kids who got murdered or innocent victims of natural disasters, why should He care about us?
We could wait for the Clorox check, assuming they’re not the scammers Rhino is. And we could then either stay here or get into an apartment while he continued to drive a vehicle with expired plates till we could one day save up for a new vehicle, but what kind of life is that? I’m not only tired of being the underdog, I’m tired of being forced to live where I don’t want to live. It’s been that way, for the most part, since I was 15, so you’d think by now I’d be plenty used to it, but I’m not. The further away a rural house with breathing space around it gets, and the more I’m forced to live with people just a wall away, or at best, a wall and a few feet, the more frustrated I get, the more hopeless I feel that things will ever change.
We could also assume what we read in the medical journal is correct and that a doctor at a sleep clinic could easily enough prove my sleep disorder by testing my melatonin levels, but I know that just because it was me trying to get my disability benefits reinstated, I wouldn’t succeed. If God wanted us to have enough money, He wouldn’t have sicced this schedule curse on me to prevent me from working a regular job, not that that would’ve been any fun at all. But that was the whole point of it just the same; to hold us back financially and limit our options.
There’s no changing the fact that I can never have any dreams come true. It doesn’t matter if it’s a perfectly reasonable dream either. All it has to do is belong to me, and as long as the dream is mine, simple, outrageous or in between, it is not allowed to be granted. Period. And there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about that fact.
Tom has always seen the world through the eyes of a child. As children, we think all will work out and be ok, that if we just do the work necessary to achieve our goals and dreams, then sooner or later they will come to pass. But I see the world in a more realistic way. I see that we would’ve struggled most of our lives on just one income, probably been poor as hell in retirement, etc.
Like I told Tom, sure I’m upset. I wanted to be happy, to have fun, to do things we like to do. But no matter what age we die at, there’s always going to be something we were currently doing or hoped to do. I still say it’s better to go now, together, like a real Romeo and Juliet team, before enduring another 40 years of settling, struggling and all kinds of bullshit just to watch him get old and die of whatever, then have to follow him to the grave cuz I couldn’t stand to live without him, even if we had all the money in the world. So you see, I’d only have to kill myself someday anyway.
Until the wee hours of Thursday morning, I shall do my best to remind myself that for every good thing I’ll miss out on, there’ll be dozens of headaches I’ll also be missing out on. I’ll never have a lobster again, but soon there will be no more ear or tooth pain. I’ll never get to listen to my stereo again, but soon there’ll be no more door slamming or TV blasting to have to listen to. I’ll never see my dolls again, my friends or family, but I’ll never live to again see either of us upset by some cruel person or fate that got our hopes up for nothing.
For the first time in over a decade, I got the urge to run to mommy and daddy. To have them wrap their arms around me while I cry on their shoulders. Ridiculous for a 42-year-old, I suppose, but maybe we really will meet again someday. It just won’t be in this life. Despite the things they’ve said and done that have hurt or angered me, I dread the idea of the Sacramento police, or whoever does these sorts of things, calling to tell them their daughter and her husband have killed themselves, and having to put this on them at their ages and with their health problems, but I think in the end they’ll come to understand that we did what we felt was best. I suppose it’ll be like déjà vu all over again for them, bringing bad memories about when my nephew died, but we all have to do what we have to do. If they read these journals, hopefully it will make it at least a little easier on them to know how we felt and how limited our resources and options really were. I let them know we don’t care what happens to our bodies and that our stuff was theirs if they want it.
I know one thing for sure and that’s that I totally regret coming down here. It’s really too bad too, as I think I could’ve really liked it here if only climate-wise.
It’s going to be hard on my friends too, especially Mary because she’s so sensitive. But if she can survive having her daughter killed, she can get over me in time.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Right before 9:00, I called down to Michelle to ask that the housekeeper start with me. She’s usually quick and to the point over the phone, but she took the time to ask how I was and told me to have a good morning after assuring me she’d have me done first. It was my favorite that arrived shortly afterward – Kissum.
Tom met both her and Satish, cuz Satish came to bring me a clean blanket which I had asked for after giving Kissum the one that had been here ever since, with things spilled on it like coffee, soda and other things best left to the imagination.
Just a little while ago, I called the front desk to complain about the room below us. They’d been partying, shouting and slamming doors down there for 3 hours. Meanwhile, I’m trying to get some work done and I don’t need to hear it. The fact that they were below us and not next to us ought to give you an idea of just how loud they were. I was told security would ask them to quiet down or they’d have to leave. Well, other than a few scattered bumps and bangs, it’s definitely been quieter since I called.
In an email from Jessie responding to my telling her I worried that Rhino was a scam, she said that’s horrible and asked if I could call the news people. Then she asked, “I know you hate it, but how much do you need for an apartment?” This makes me think she may want to help spring us out of here and into an apartment, and you know what? As much as I hate apartments, I’m so sick of this place sucking every last dime out of us that I’m ready to go for that if that’s all that’s meant to be, and you know we’re not allowed to be where we want to be anyway. But at least there, as insanely noisy as it would be, we’d have our stuff, more than one room, and we’d no longer have to deal with housekeepers. Being in a cheaper place would be half the battle which would be wonderful, but there’s still the 2, preferably 3 grand we need for a new vehicle and some furniture and appliances we need, plus I’ve still got to see a dentist. Once we get moved, then he can start looking for a new job that pays better and that will insure us both ASAP. But with this place sucking every spare dime we’ve got, our hands are tied. It’s $330 a week for this room, plus the storage, plus gas/food. He has a 35-minute drive to/from work.
Then I got an idea. I told Jessie I at least received the $100 Spa Finder certificate I won, but would much rather have our storage paid for. I told her it’d be no biggie if she said no, that we had all month to pay it, but that if she wanted, I’d gladly mail her the certificate if she’d pay our storage online, using our account number.
As I also told her, Tom said that the reason he still thinks they’re going to pay is that it really does take a couple of months to get all the necessary signatures to cut checks and all that crap. The only difference is that while Clorox, who’s a much bigger company and more experienced with sweeps, told us it’d take a couple of months up front, Rhino didn’t. But if worse comes to worst, he also said we’d have to wait 6 months, which would mean around July, but yeah, we can contact the consumer protection department and let them know we never received payment. We have the win notice and all the emails saved. Tom will start hounding them again too, with more harsh and insistent calls and emails of his own. I really hope he’s right and they pay up in time.
As I told Jessie, the apartments themselves are gorgeous and have a lot to offer for the money. It’s the damn noise, both inside and out, that’s utterly maddening. But like I said, if that’s the best we can do for a while, so be it. We’re ready. Getting our expenses down, if only a few hundred a month, is half the battle. It’s the only way to be able to move ahead, so to speak, and get other things we need. Then would come the icing on the cake, as in getting new ratties. I miss having pets!
I was freaking out for a couple of days after a huge misunderstanding. I partly misunderstood Tom, but I also thought he was playing down how bad off we were. I thought we were back in October again, facing either the streets or death. I’d still definitely take death over the streets, but I’d much rather live and do some of the things I miss doing, even if I have to do them in the midst of loud, rude, obnoxious assholes that are so attention-starved they just can’t shut up.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
God’s little bum just checking in.
Another “nothing” week has ended and another’s begun. The neighbors are annoying me with their scattering of bumps and bangs, one of which woke me up early this morning, and of course, it’s coming from the end room. If we don’t decide to move next door to the inner room just in case it is Tink’s spirit trapping us here and to escape that room, then I hope they leave soon.
There are 3 people over there and they have a set routine from what I can tell. They bop and bang on and off from the early morning hours till 2:00 when one slams out 20 seconds before the other slams out, which is weird. Like maybe one is following the other like a bodyguard or something? Then the third one stays behind to carry on with the annoying scattering of bumps and thunks. I have my sound machine going, and the fan above the range, but they can only do so much to cover sounds.
Tom thinks Clorox will come through this week. I think they will too, this week or next, and I hope they will, but until they do I can’t rest easy. This is because we’ve not only had to play pawn-it some more (this time it was my ring and the navigator), but if nothing else comes through by the 1st, we’ll lose our stuff. We don’t have enough stuff left to pawn in order to save it. Tom’s pretty sure we’ll get the check and that he could hit his boss for a loan if need be, but being “pretty sure” doesn’t exactly cut it. And as it turns out, Jessie can’t be of any help herself. I asked if she’d pay our storage in return for my Spa Finder GC, but now she suddenly has to pay her daughter’s doctor’s account balance before her 5th birthday in a couple of weeks. She said she’d let me know by then if she could help as a spa treatment sounds really nice, but I won’t count on it. Our best bet is going to be either Clorox or his boss. I’d hate to bother my folks at their ages and with their problems. I’d like to think even God could never hate us enough to see us lose our stuff after all we’ve already been through and no doubt will go through, but if we do, I’m so outa here! One can only live to keep losing so much, you know? We lost our house in Arizona and our land in Oregon, and so if we lose our stuff here, then I’ll really know for sure there’s no getting ahead for us, not that I haven’t figured as much a long time ago. I really hope we don’t lose it, though, and that Tom’s not just being Mr. Overconfident, as usual.
Michelle called up earlier and woke poor Tom up to ask me if I wanted the housekeeper today or tomorrow. I told her that as far as I was concerned we were always on for Wednesdays, so tomorrow would be fine. In the meantime, I mentioned we were thinking of moving to 336, but only told her some of the reasons – to get away from the end room because it’s occupied more than the generic rooms, and because the AC doesn’t work right, nor does the carousel in the microwave turn, and of course, the refrigerator leaks.
So Satish came up and while he was checking things out I couldn’t resist commenting on how people like to get our hopes up for no reason when he asked if we’d be checking out soon. According to him, he’s still house-hunting, which really means he’s waiting to see how much longer prices keep falling. Anyway, the dumb cock didn’t get it as far as the AC goes, but he replaced the cover and filter. He fixed the microwave and reset the fridge at a setting he says will keep it from leaking.
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Friday, March 7, 2008
When Tom went to the office yesterday, the manager was there and commented on how long we’ve been here. It turns out they’re starting an apartment program here cuz of the economy and to attract more business, charging a grand a month. The wonderful catch is that this includes no housekeeping. While this certainly would’ve been helpful months ago (if we could’ve come up with the initial grand), it serves no purpose if Rhino or Clorox or Jessie can spring us out of here soon enough. Besides, it’s so ridiculous to charge a grand for a room and one that doesn’t even have an oven, when you can rent a house for that much!
The funny thing is that Tom’s noticed the same pattern I have, and he pointed out that now that they’re finally offering this, someone will come through for us before we could ever get a chance to benefit from it. At least I hope that pattern still holds true! Especially in this case.
I’m a bit concerned about something that could happen in the future even though it’s unlikely. I know someone who did something illegal. It was a misdemeanor and a warrant was issued for their arrest even though they were in another state. I’m not going to get into the particulars, but I worry about the way things change and how it may later catch up to them. I know the odds of that actually happening are next to nothing and that they probably have a better chance of winning the lottery. But I still worry for them.
Take DNA for example. Look at all the cases that went unsolved for so many years before that came about. So many suspects remained free and went about their daily lives, as usual, year after year, until DNA finally got them arrested. Well, what if there is a convenient way to round up those with outstanding warrants someday no matter where they are?
These days we can reach out to anyone in any part of the world with a simple click of the mouse. It never used to be that way. Someone in the US couldn’t easily chat with someone in Europe one minute and then Asia the next. So yeah, I’m a little worried for them in that I wonder if someday it will be that simple for anyone with outstanding warrants to be arrested. They better build a shitload of additional jails as I would think that would be millions of people.
Actually, it’s almost 800K, according to what I just googled, but it said there could be more.
Even though it’s a non-violent crime, I know how twisted this country’s laws are. It’s always the non-violent crimes that get the harsher sentences. Non-violent or not, I swear they committed a misdemeanor. Well, I read that those expire after 180 days which is 6 months. Yet they’ve had a warrant on them for years. Is the site just not up to date or something with its list of outstanding warrants? Either way, it’s not a violent crime so I would be worried about them doing time if ever they were picked up.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The $500 Clorox check is on its way!!! I’m so relieved I’m actually crying tears of relief and grinning like a mad idiot. If I could react like this over $500, imagine how ballistic I’d go over the 9K if we could ever get it. I plan to ask for time frames next Monday. If he dances around the subject with vague answers and says stuff like “shortly,” Tom will sic Consumer Affairs on them.
The discouraging dream I had was the one describing the “shared” wall in our new place to my folks, though I suppose I should be happy if it’s a sign that we’ll at least live to escape this room.
The scary dream that I hope was just a dream and not a warning was where I dreamt that for some reason I went to work with Tom. We were eating in a semi-crowded cafeteria when we looked out the window and saw a pig car pull up. A few minutes later, someone called for someone to come see the police over an intercom. Just as we were breathing sighs of relief, they also added, “Tom, Tom S, you too, come and talk to the police.” Now he really has to watch his back and I’ll have to up the prayers and spells big time! He thinks it’s just me being paranoid since there is no cafeteria at work and the dream didn’t involve him getting pulled over. He’s on his way to work right now. Hopefully, he won’t email me to say he got pulled over. Hopefully, the worst-case scenario is just a scare with a pig driving along too close. At least someone won’t get what cost us thousands over the years for just $87!
I really do hope this is finally the beginning of the end! What a wonderful day it’s turned out to be so far. Even our annoying endroomers are gone. It may be way too soon before the new slam-bangers get here, but for now, all is wonderfully peaceful.
Say did the room yesterday and Tom will have Satish return to fix the clogged drain tomorrow when he goes to sign in.
Jessie says she’s stressed out because her brother Ben needs a place to stay and he has Crone’s disease and won’t take his meds or see a doctor. Their mother won’t take him in and Jes won’t take him either because he parties. Her mother’s husband told him she would, so she’s pissed off about that one. She says to slap her if she ever gets that uncaring about her kids. I reminded her there’s someone I’d like to do a lot more than just slap who stopped caring about one of her kids herself.
Friday, March 14, 2008
We had someone check in the inner room yesterday afternoon for one night. They were pretty bangy their first 20 minutes or so, then they shut up. We had a surprisingly quiet end roomer too, but that’s probably why they were only there one night as well. Only the noisy ones stay longer! With it being Friday night, I expect to get company on both sides any minute, so I’m enjoying what’s left of the peace.
I saw Prasaad cleaning the inner room when we returned from Carl’s Jr. We felt we deserved a treat in light of the Clorox check which should’ve arrived today. I sure hope so anyway! If it was mailed in a package with the cleaning products, however, it could take up to a week. Still time to pay storage, but even so, I’ll feel better once the money is actually on the card, and even better if we can get the 9K. The only thing dampening my otherwise fine mood is knowing we could end up right where we were last week if the 9K takes much longer.
At least the cop dream seems meaningless so far, as all he had was one little scare so far. Last night I dreamt I was writing to my folks and giving them our new address. That one I sure hope is a sign of a home to come real soon!
They’ve got a new housekeeper who’s definitely Indian, judging by the red circle on her forehead.
Mike, the manager, called up while Tom was out getting the check. I let him know Tom would be in any minute and he asked if everything else was ok. I let him know the shower drain was clogged again and he sent Satish up to fix it.
When he got back, he booked the room till Wednesday. Then with the Clorox check or his next paycheck, if worse comes to worst and there’s an issue with the Clorox check, we can book till Saturday and be back in sync with the weekends again. That way he doesn’t have to get up early on Fridays, run out and get the check, put the money on the card, then rush back to book the room.
We passed Say on the way in to see Mike before heading over to eat. The paperwork takes time to be faxed to the office once he’s booked the room through Hotwire, which he usually does at night rather than late morning. But since they know us so well, Mike said not to worry, we could sign in in the morning.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The good news is that the Clorox check did indeed save our stuff, but the bad news is that not only has the 9K still not shown up, but now the guy’s email address has been removed from the site that I contacted. Mr. Ever So Trusting says it’s because he just didn’t want to be contacted anymore, but I say it’s because he was part of a nasty scam and he knows it. So now Tom has to contact Consumer Affairs. He still thinks we’ll get the check, but even if we do, when will we get it? Before the next crisis hits or after? In just a matter of weeks, the extra money will be gone and we’ll still be trapped here, trying to figure out how we can make it. I just don’t understand why we’re so undeserving of a home. What did we do to be so hopelessly trapped in this motel? The manager offered us a $50 discount on the monthly apartment rate, but there’s no way we could come up with the grand in the first place.
Anyway, I showed the guy he can run, but he can’t hide. At least not from me. I found his email in my ‘sent mail’ section and have sent a message asking for a more precise time frame. If he won’t give it to me, Tom will deal with them from there on out, but I still don’t know if we’ll ever see the money. He says a big company like that doesn’t want bad publicity, but there are a lot of people who just don’t give a damn whether they have bad publicity or not. Lots of people will spite themselves to spite others.
Meanwhile, as soon as he can get to the storage place, he’s gonna pull one of the old inkjet printers so he can print resumes for a better job that has regular benefits.
Monday, March 17, 2008
At last, the light is shining at the end of the tunnel!!! I was about to resign myself to the idea that this motel room was to be our permanent home and so be it. I told myself that never again could the Gods tease me with getting out of here if I just stop hoping and trying, and just learn to accept our fate as it is. Fate is something we can’t change anyway. Besides, if we were meant to live where we wanted, I also told myself, we wouldn’t have lost our beautiful brand-new home 4 years ago. I told myself I’d get my dream house someday. Just not in this life. In the next one, though, I’d have a beautiful home with all the peace and security I could ever need and want and I’d have a nice garden, too. In this life, it was time to start looking at the good to being here and to start being grateful for what we do have and to keep in mind that there are worse places to be than motel rooms. I thought of how we’d eventually have to sell most of the stuff in storage like the dolls and things like that because there’s only so much room in here and most of it won’t be needed here anyway.
Then I remembered the dream I had last night and told Tom about it before he went to shower and head out for work. I dreamt I was spying on a house that was wonderfully far away from the one I was in through a pair of binoculars. It was nighttime and I could see into the lighted windows, but saw no people. Just furniture and wall hangings. Then I turned around and faced the center of the room where 3 baby rats stood on their hind legs looking at me expectantly as if to say, “Well, aren’t you gonna come play with us and give us more cheese, too?”
He decided to check his email one last time and a few minutes later he said to me, “Well, I know you’re not going to believe this, but I got an email from Nancy. She says the check’s been cut and we should receive it this week.”
And we were just about to sic Consumer Affairs on them! I was laughing and crying with joy, grinning like a mad idiot, squealing with delight, dashing around the room, and nearly dropping the can of chickpeas I’d just opened!
How ironic that in the end, God granted every single one of my prayers. Some much later than I’d have liked, but better later than never! Then again, He still hasn’t granted the horses.
Our plans for the money are to get a vehicle first which should only take a few days. Then, if we can’t find a house in about a week, we’ll take advantage of the $1000 apartment rate they now have if we still can, since Mike, the manager, said there were only so many of those they were allowed to have. This way we’ll have a whole month to look for a place. If we still haven’t found a place right before the month is up, we’ll jump into a trailer. This is still something I’d rather not have to do, but it’d beat motels/apartments and be the cheapest route to take. So hopefully we won’t be here past the beginning of May!
I haven’t felt this good in sooo long! No, our only choices are not to either stay forever in this room or die on the bathroom floor!
Did I mention Tom got a new phone with internet access? Two weeks ago I was freaking out when the net was down and was awaiting his return so he could book the room after cashing his check and getting the money onto the card, failing to remember that he could now do this by phone if he ever had to.
Got a jump start on learning what little I could of Italian for free, and learned to count to venti (20), some words, and a little about the pronunciation and grammar. Last night I mentioned to Tom that I still wanted to learn Italian and Hawaiian if we made it out of this room, and how easy Italian should be as opposed to Hawaiian, my first non-European language, and he pointed out that I couldn’t even count in Italian yet. So I jumped online and proved him wrong on that one in under 10 minutes! It would’ve taken hours, though, had it not been so similar to Spanish. To say that knowing Spanish helps is an understatement! It seems its grammar is very different than English as is the case with Spanish, but unlike with Spanish, I’d say the pronunciation is not as easy.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tom got the check!!! He took it to the check-cashing place he normally uses. The fees are going to be $337, a little less than he thought they’d be. The only catch is that they’d only give him 3K. He can’t get the rest for 10 days. Because it’s a big company using a well-known bank, he feels confident that there’ll be no problems. While we can get a new vehicle ASAP, this does delay us a week from getting into a place. I just hope that when the time comes, he’s right about those not going through property management companies having lower expectations of potential renters.
Kissum did the room yesterday. No insiders in a couple of days now. Our little ender was out most of the day, but it just got back to bang around on and off for the next 4 hours till it crashes. At least this one’s just mildly annoying and not maddening. They’ve been here for about a week now.
We’re not sure whether or not we’re going to rent this place for a month or not on the 3rd when he gets the rest of the money. I hope we can find a place fast enough so that we won’t have to! The next question is, did the neighbor curse really end with Kim? Or will we still just “happen” to get one extreme after another?
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
It’s nice to be able to finally move on to new worries. Now instead of worrying about how we’re ever going to escape this room, I worry that the neighbor curse will follow us to wherever we end up if it’s not already there waiting for us. Will we get someone like Kim who wasn’t perfect, but was tolerable? Or will we get the crazy lady with the yipping dog and blasting TV? Or maybe some other rude asshole with the loud stereo and wild kids? Perhaps the rowdy college kids? I just hope we don’t “happen” to get all kinds of extremes like we usually do. Going in order of what we want most to our absolute last choice, it’d be a house, a cottage, a townhouse, a duplex, and an apartment in a complex last.
What we should’ve done was go to Italy from Oregon taking the cheapest travel package available. Then we could’ve used the leftover credit to pay for some of the motel time.
Tom pulled our printer from storage and tomorrow he’ll get a cartridge for it. It’ll be so nice to be able to print again after so long! Oh, those little luxuries in life we tend to take for granted!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
New room, new car, new life! Yes, things are the best they’ve been so far since coming here! Yesterday evening the heater crapped out for good in 338. No wonder it was always kind of funky. When the heat was on it’d make these soft popping sounds. Well, yesterday it started popping louder and the heat wouldn’t stop. I’d get heat when I’d switch it to the fan and even the AC, so knowing we were to be in the mid-70s today, I had this young, wimpy Indian guy let me move into 336. It took me a half-hour to move all the stuff and another half to set it all up. Although I haven’t used the AC yet, the only problem with this room is that the smoke detector battery died and only Satish is allowed to deal with those things, so I have to wait till Monday for that to be fixed. It’ll be just one more thing, along with the housekeeper on Wednesday, to wake us up.
I emailed Tom at work to let him know we moved and he helped me swap mattresses before turning his key in and getting the new one. The mattress in here was old, flat, and hard like the one that used to be in 338.
It’s weird getting used to the reversed direction. I automatically head for the lower right cabinet when I want to throw something away, yet it’s on the right in this room. It’s much darker in here at night, and I’m glad to be away from that damn end room! The only negative is that it’s right on the stairs.
What’s kind of strange is that this room is colder. The kitchen and bathroom floors are icy cold, but that’d be a good thing in the warmer weather.
This carousel is broken too, but at least the fridge doesn’t leak.
The best news is that today Tom got a ‘94 Ford Taurus GL wagon for just under 2K at a dealership. No more uncomfortable antique of a truck that won’t idle, has a driver’s side window that won’t roll down, a passenger door that won’t open from the outside, has plates that expired in May of ’05, and insurance that also expired in January. That’s the part Tom wouldn’t tell me so as not to add to my stress. There just wasn’t any money to pay for it, and by the time we got money, we knew we were getting a whole new vehicle anyway. Where I thought he’d just get a warning or a $200 fine if pulled over for the plates or for a tail light that may’ve gone out unbeknownst to him, he’d have actually gotten fined over a grand and the truck could’ve very well been impounded.
He saw this car online last night and knew it was the one he wanted. He’d actually had his eye on it for a couple of weeks and last night he found that it had come down in price and was worried it wouldn’t be available because it seemed like such a good deal. I prayed several times for it. Then this morning he took the truck out for its final ride, 7 miles to the lot. Once he got there and saw that it was still available, he paid for it and drove back here and parked the truck for good. Right now it’s officially on death row! Yep, as soon as we clear it out, it’ll be towed to a junkyard to await execution after it’s stripped and Tom has a few days of driving the Taurus without any problems. I almost wish I could pull the switch myself!
All works well, but the AC is rather wimpy. Nothing he can’t fix, though. While we’d never want anything too new or too fancy that could appeal to joyriders, it’s the newest thing we’ve had since being together. He had a Nissan Centra when we met, then got a Ford Tempo, both 80s vehicles. Then we had the ‘91 Ford Taurus which was a regular car and sold it before going to Oregon. They were all white, as most vehicles in Arizona are. This one’s shiny dark green with a gray interior. Dull colors, but the least of our concerns. We were surprised to find it has no power locks or windows for a ’94 with dual airbags. It’s been smogged, too.
They accepted the debit card and took care of all the paperwork so he never had to go to the DMV. I signed off on insurance since I don’t drive, so it’d save us money.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Well, the AC does work after all. I was getting worried seeing that the breakage curse obviously lives on, even if it’s stuff we don’t own. First we’re cursed with toilets, then refrigerators, then heat/AC pumps.
NBC’s doing a Most Awkward Moment sweep for 5K. I couldn’t think of anything for real, so “awkward wedding” paragraph.
Funny or not, I don’t think it stands much chance cuz they’re only picking 1 winner. 5 people won the 9K, and 12 won the $500. Between Clorox and Simple Green, we have enough cleaning supplies to last till I’m 45 years old! I just wish some of it wasn’t orange. I hate citrus scents and tastes, especially lemon, lime and orange. I’ll let Tom keep those in the car.
It took them over an hour to do our old room and it was just the one I hoped would get cursed with having to do it, too – Prasaad and the new Indian chick she’s been training.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Satish came to fix the smoke detector around 11:00 which was when I figured he’d come. Fortunately, I had only been asleep 5 hours which meant I could go back to sleep after he and Tom left.
Satish was pleased to hear we’d finally received the prize money and got a new car. He asked what it was and we told him. Then he asked if it was the green one parked out there, and when we moved in here. I let him know the fridge in our old room still leaked even with the settings he changed, and that the heater broke completely.
Someone checked into 334 at 9:00 and although I could hear them due to the thin walls, they weren’t noisy. I just hope they let me sleep tomorrow if they stick around, or that the housekeeper will if they’re an overnighter, cuz they ain’t letting me sleep on Wednesday unless I decide to have Michelle call them off.
I discovered SweepsNation last night and it’s pretty cool. Normally I wouldn’t join other sweep sites since most of them have the same sweeps and all I’d be doing was DQing myself. But the site itself gives away its own prizes, mostly GCs, and they automatically enter you in all their progressive jackpots for life just for signing up once.
OLS is really annoying the hell out of me more and more. The single-entry sweeps are now mostly for parents and kids, and all the damn comment sweeps are driving me crazy!
Friday, March 28, 2008
If only I was your typical little herd animal! If I could just snap my fingers and just adore people and noise, we could almost own a single-wide trailer, from what Tom found out, on a lot in a park that would cost just $435 a month. That’s what we were paying at the duplex! Then we could save up for some land, but by the time we could buy much more than a few feet, we could be in a retirement community, so I guess we could just save for that. Owning land is definitely a bad idea if we can’t own everything outright. With house and land payments, we couldn’t afford the everyday commute to the city. If he could work from home, that’d be different, but I still don’t see that happening. He may make a few hundred a month from the horses, but not a few hundred a day.
Tom surprised me with some treats when he stopped at Walmart on his way in from work a couple of nights ago, saying I deserved them. He got me some incense and some temporary tattoos. These tats aren’t as good as the last one was, but it’s still fun to play around with.
They’re getting better at the cheap incense, but I’ll be enjoying gourmet incense soon enough, so long as Incense Galore doesn’t fuck up too badly on us.
The smoke detector started going off periodically yesterday during the late morning as I was about to fall asleep and he was to get ready for work, so Satish came up and replaced it altogether. I wasn’t very nice about it at first, but I’m sure he understood how annoyed I was.
Again we had to get people next door, even though Tom heard Michelle mention that we’re only 30% full. Well, hopefully we won’t be here much more than a week! We’re going out hunting this weekend.
I still don’t think we’ll ever own anything again because I still not only believe without a doubt that God doesn’t want us living where we want to live, but I’m not so sure we’ll ever have good credit. Tom’s been the victim of identity theft, so he learned when checking his credit. Most of it happened in the summer of ’06. He thinks it’s a random act done by someone who got a hold of his social security number, but I’m thinking whacked blacks, pigs, or his family. Tom assures me he’s not only not at risk of going to jail, but that it’s up to the people who gave whoever it was the credit to prove that it was actually him they gave it to. I was surprised. You mean there are actually good laws in this world? Fair laws that actually protect people like us? Wowee! He also says that for just a couple of bucks a month, you can be alerted whenever someone tries to get credit in your name with your social.
Rosalinda, as is the Mexican housekeeper’s name, did our room Wednesday. I hope that whoever does it next Wednesday will be the last one to do it till we leave!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Again I was woken up just as I was knocking off! Thanks, God, for cursing me with this wonderful sleep disorder, and for compensating us with even more money to make up for me not having a job so I can double our income.
It was Satish knocking. He was all apologetic and all that, saying he just needed to get numbers off the TV, fridge and microwave for warranty purposes. Then he said he’d talk to his realtor friend about helping us get a place. I’m not sure I believe that one or that they’ll want to help once they learn how much he makes, but we are going to go out hunting today ourselves.
Tom’s begun submitting job applications. We both think he’ll get something between $10-$12. The key is getting a job with insurance and where there’ll be room for advancement since we’re never going to be allowed to work for ourselves from home.
Speaking of being woken up, someone else checked into 334 on Thursday and woke me up with the door. Well, they got woke up last night by me talking too loud, but only by accident. It was 11:30, shortly after Tom got in from work. They banged on the wall a few times to let us know how pissed they were. This is the first time we’ve ever disturbed or woken anyone up that we know of. Tom and I were laughing about it, though we did quiet right down and he hit the sack. Imagine the look on their faces in the office if the person mentions it to them! They’d be shocked, alright. The only difference is that the person will no doubt be punished just once for waking me up. Me, I got about 100 more wake-up calls to go to pay for waking them up!
I always said I wished we were on the end, but I don’t know about that what with how popular the end rooms are. That’d mean always having someone below us, and for some reason, the door underneath us wakes me up more than the ones next to us.
Monday, March 31, 2008
We’re back to having to play net games again, so I can’t do my sweeping. Guess now’s a good time to catch up here.
The person we woke up checked out the next day, and it’s been empty over there ever since. I know it won’t last long, though. I just hope they don’t fix what’s broken in our old room anytime soon.
We went sign-hunting on Saturday but had horrible luck. We went to Folsom to see what it was like, so being unfamiliar with the area, we just didn’t know where to look. They told Tom at work that it was as small-town as you’d get being this close to Sacramento, and it was true. It did have a small-town feel to it, and if it weren’t for the scattered palms, you might think it was K-Falls. We drove by the prison, though we couldn’t see it. It’s set way back in the middle of a huge farm. The subdivisions were typical of the west; the older houses were about 20’ apart, the newer ones just a few. Some are so ridiculously close you might as well connect them! You’d feel like you were in an apartment anyway if you were close enough that you could literally touch the wall of one house with one hand and the other with your other hand.
Tom’s still looking online when we can get on it and still feels we’ll get a house. I’m starting to think we’re going to end up in a trailer, duplex or townhouse. You know we’re not allowed to live where we want. He did see a house listed for just $700 in Yuba City, but the catch is that it’s very small and no doubt a dump. Especially since they didn’t post any pictures of it. We don’t mind being in a small dump again if it’s going to be that cheap and not on top of someone else. The only thing we didn’t like is how the ad stated, “No pets or animals, no exceptions.”
The car is so much more comfortable to ride in than the truck! It’s not nearly as loud either, and it drives much smoother.
Before heading out to Folsom, we stopped at Starbucks and I got a caramel coffee.
Tom grabbed the vacuum and hair cutter from storage so he could cut his hair and look more presentable for job-hunting.
We also went to the mail place where I got a $3 shiny, colorful tube for mailing things like posters. It’s just so cool looking I thought it’d make a neat Barbie prop or something.
After he cashed the check and put money on the card, the real fun began. We ended up spending $200 at Walmart! He needed a new razor and wallet. I finally got some hair detangler, a pack of flavored lip balms, and a trio of sports bras.
I also got a Barbie with a deep aqua cami and dark denim capris with glitter, as well as eyeshadow, that matches her cami. She has long blond hair and comes with a “chalk iron” that you run through her hair to color it. It’s got purple, pink and blue.
Then there’s Nikki, a black doll with bendable wrists like the newest Tonner dolls have. I’ve never seen bendable wrists before with Barbie and friends. This one wears a pink party dress with gold accents.
We also sent off the money order for the shipping on the two beauty baskets and placed a wholesale order with Incense Galore. The question is whether or not we’ll ever receive the incense. The emails I sent have been returned as no good, and I can’t leave a message on their machine cuz it tells me that person can’t receive messages at that time. I had a live chat with the Stickman and asked if he had any additional contact info, but he didn’t. Tom said that if worse came to worse PayPal would reimburse us.
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intellibloghub · 2 months ago
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How Painful Is Orthodontic Treatment?
When considering orthodontic treatment, it’s natural to wonder about discomfort. After all, braces or aligners adjusting your teeth over time might sound a little intimidating. While some pain can occur during the process, modern orthodontic services have come a long way in making treatments as painless as possible.
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What Causes Discomfort During Orthodontic Treatment?
Orthodontic treatment involves moving teeth into better alignment, often through fitting devices like braces or clear aligners. During this process, it’s normal to feel discomfort because the teeth and surrounding tissues are gradually shifting.
Here are the most common causes of discomfort:
Braces Tightening: If you have braces, they need to be adjusted periodically to keep moving your teeth. This tightening can lead to temporary soreness.  
Clear Aligners Fitting: With clear aligners like Invisalign, you change to a new set every couple of weeks. The first day or two after switching to a new aligner might feel slightly tight as the aligner pushes your teeth into the correct position.
Teeth Movement: The light-pressure orthodontic devices that guide your teeth to their ideal spots can result in soreness, especially when you first start treatment.
Mouth Irritation: If you're wearing braces, the brackets might rub against the insides of your cheeks or lips, causing minor irritation.
How painful is Orthodontic Treatment?
The good news is that orthodontic treatment is not as painful as many imagine. Most patients report mild soreness or pressure, especially during the initial stages. Here’s what you can expect based on the type of treatment:
1. Braces
When you first get braces, you may feel tenderness in your teeth and gums for a few days. This is just your mouth adjusting. You might also feel discomfort after every adjustment appointment. Still, it’s typically brief and manageable with over-the-counter pain relievers.
2. Clear Aligners
Clear aligners like Invisalign are known for being more comfortable than traditional braces. Whenever you switch to a new tray, expect mild tightness, but the pressure usually subsides after 48 hours.
3. Retainers
Once your teeth have been aligned, retainers are used to maintain their position. Most retainers are reasonably comfortable, and any initial tightness disappears after the first few wears.
Tips to Reduce Orthodontic Discomfort
Here are some simple ways to ease any soreness you might experience during treatment:
Rinse with Warm Salt Moisture: A saltwater rinse helps soothe mouth irritation caused by braces.  
Stick to Soft Foods: During the first few days of treatment or after adjustments, eat soft foods like soup, mashed potatoes, or yogurt to minimize pressure on your teeth.  
Use Orthodontic Wax: If braces irritate your mouth, apply orthodontic resin to the sharp edges of brackets or wires for relief.
Take Over-the-Counter Pain Relievers: Medications like ibuprofen or acetaminophen can reduce soreness during adjustment.
Cold Compresses: Apply a cold compress to the exterior of your mouth to help reduce inflammation and numb any lingering pain.
Modern Orthodontics Focuses on Comfort
Orthodontic services today are designed with patient comfort in mind. Advancements in technology, such as lighter wires in braces and custom-fit aligners, mean treatments are less invasive and gentler on your teeth. Family orthodontics specialists, particularly, are skilled in tailoring treatments to ensure even kids and teens feel comfortable.
Should the Pain Ever Be Concerning?
Orthodontic treatment should never cause severe or unmanageable pain. If you experience sharp or lasting discomfort that doesn’t disappear after a few days, contact your orthodontist. Problems like a broken wire or a mishitting device could be causing the issue, and your orthodontist will be able to resolve it quickly.
Final Thoughts on Pain during Orthodontic Treatment
Orthodontic therapy is an asset to your long-term oral health and smile. While it might involve mild discomfort here and there, the benefits far outweigh the temporary challenges. Whether you’re considering braces, aligners, or family orthodontics, rest assured that any soreness is minimal and easy to manage.
Contact your local family orthodontics specialist today if you want to start your orthodontic treatment or have more questions. A straighter, healthier smile is just around the corner!
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 years ago
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aita for ghosting my boss after involuntarily quitting?
so this is pretty low stakes because it all happened like two years ago and i’ve never spoken to or even seen the other party since. i just remembered this story and wanted to see what strangers on the internet have to say about it.
i got my first job at the local equivalent of an auntie anne’s at the mall food court when i was 15. socially, i was an absolute mess back then, probably worsened by the fact that this was right after covid quarantines were lifted for the first time. i had to really prepare myself up to talk to my boss about simple things like to ask for time off. i’ve since gotten better at communication, i hope, anyway.
about two months into working here, i saw that i had been assigned a shift on my birthday, this was around a week before my birthday. it was a weekend shift so it was essentially all day. i asked around a little on whatsapp dms with other people in the group to see if i could swap with anybody, but no one could.
i was a little bummed but i thought, what the hell, it’s fine. it’s my bad for not asking for the day off earlier before the schedule was made, and many people worked on their birthday anyway.
but my dad didn’t want me working on my birthday at all. he had wanted to celebrate together by going out to a restaurant with everyone or something. when i told him that i had an 8 hour shift that day, he wanted me to ask my boss in person to “do something about it” so that i could be off.
he said that, from his perspective, it was my boss’s responsibility to find someone to replace my shift, not mine. he may have had a point, but: 1) i had not asked for this day off ahead of time; if i had done that, my boss *would* have found someone else to schedule, 2) at this point, this was literally the day before the shift in question, and 3) i personally didn’t even have any objections with working on my birthday anyway. my dad just wanted to be able to celebrate with me and said that it was wrong for me to work in my birthday.
anyway i had a shift the day before my birthday, and as asked to by my dad, i verbally asked my boss if she could make an exception and let me have a day off because it was important to my family (this terrified me lmao). she was nice about it, but said no because it was a religious holiday for her family, and it was a busy weekend for the mall, so she really needed the help. personally i thought this was reasonable agreed to just work the next day.
when i told my dad however, he personally went to go speak to my boss which basically devolved into a loud argument in the middle of the darkened, closed up food court of the mall at 9 pm. i was bewildered and felt like shit the whole time, and i don’t remember clearly how it ended, but at some point my boss ended up leaving and then so did we.
it was never cleared up whether she expected me to come to work the next day or not. either way, i didn’t, and we did end up celebrating my birthday and everything.
this next part is where i think i acted like TA. once again i don’t remember the details exactly, but either i stopped getting scheduled and was kicked from the whatsapp group, or i left by myself at some point.
i know that’s a pretty big distinction to forget, but either way i completely ghosted them after this out of sheer embarrassment over what had happened. i never reached out to formally end my employment. i avoided the auntie anne’s every time i was at the mall. i never returned my uniform, because i didn’t see the message from my boss asking for it back until months after. that was the last time she’s ever had communication with me.
so yeah. aita for the circumstances that lead me to involuntarily quit/get fired at my first job, and aita for ignoring my boss afterwards?
What are these acronyms?
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addictivepsychology · 6 months ago
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Day 135
I’m so angry at work today
It can’t get worse
The list of daily things I have to do at work in a span of about 1.5 hours-
Set up my indoor project
Set up my outdoor project
Make sure the wagon that’s supposed to be done by an employee is ready
Make sure my team knows their spots on the yard
Make meeting notes on tues& Thurs
Setup the side yard:
Move the tarp from under the bricks of the 10x10 sand pit
Make comfy corner
Take toys out for a blanket
Setup some sort of free art /art project for the table
And somewhere in all that, I have to find time to plan for the next months projects
As onto the boards/dramatic play/ pictures for documentation
I’m definitely stretched thin
And my boss’ expectations are sky high, in a place where nobody can even reach
So when we get back in from break, she expects everything to be done for the new year
But with what time do I have
So yesterday I asked someone to setup the side yard since the 3 of us were tackling the inside room and getting it ready for the new theme
Apparently he got talked to about doing that
So I guess I have to do all of it
On my time
By myself
I’m so fucking pissed off
I just want to leave
Fuck your expectations
I come first
My mental health comes first
Every day there’s something new
Something I do wrong or something my team does wrong
But we’re human
I’m going to try my best not to be irritated today
Did I mention one of my team called out
Again
Said some bad shits happened
What’s bad enough for you to miss work
Once a week for a few weeks
Go fuck off, I don’t need you on my team
Youre sinking us
Even more than we are already
Than they already tell us we are
Being pissed off isn’t good for my diet
I’ll keep eating the chocolate from my break room
But I’ve fought it so far, but I still have most of my shift to cave, and I will eventually
Maybe I’ll finally be able to get into the gym today though
Maybe my car will be happy
And so will I when I go home
I think I’ll be conflicted forever
On so many topics
I can’t figure it out, But I don’t want to
Like learning the moves to chess
It’ll make it boring, life is exciting to be boring,
But I do with that I could just find my person and live with them
And never date again
That would be so easy, wouldn’t it
But I’m not sure if I’ve found them already, who can say
I’m still only 4 months out of my past relationship
How would that ever be enough time to heal
But I feel I have, because when there’s a break up,
The emotional break up has already happened
I guess I never realized how far gone everything was
It’s sad, how two people love each other so much for so long, for what seems like no reason
Finally back in the gym and it feels so good
I love working out
If life was easy, I’d probably end up working out twice per day
And it become like an addiction
Days can feel so long
Like multiple lifetimes in one 24 hour span
With the indefinite emotions and
Choices
I don’t take advantage of life enough,
I forget how many hours are in a day
Having to work a normal 9-5
We forget that we can live outside of that
I’m not a slave to my job
Or to my emotions
We ate dinner together on FaceTime and talked about our day
It was nice and normal
Got ready for the gym and got to vent
Thanks for listening
And not being bored, or acting bored
I get nervous I will hurt you
I want to keep things open
I really like you
We get along so well
In a lot of different aspects of our lives
Thanks for always listening
Always reading
Always knowing
I don’t have to even talk to you for you to say something I need to hear
Since you hear my thoughts
When nobody else can
When I don’t want anyone else to
I don’t want to lose that
But what do I gain from not wanting to lose
Limbo isn’t a good place to be
But I guess the Internet is a forever in between
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mayaduffphleb · 6 months ago
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Open Your Career: Top Phlebotomy Classes in Jackson, MS for Aspiring Healthcare Professionals
Unlock Your Career: Top Phlebotomy⁣ Classes in Jackson, MS for Aspiring Healthcare Professionals
Are​ you looking to kickstart a rewarding career in the healthcare field? Phlebotomy is a vital component of modern⁢ medicine, and becoming a certified phlebotomist can open the door to numerous exciting job opportunities. in this article,we’ll explore the top phlebotomy classes available in Jackson,MS,and⁣ provide you with essential data,tips,and benefits to ‌maximize your training experience.
Why Choose Phlebotomy?
Phlebotomy involves drawing blood from patients for tests, transfusions, donations, ⁢or research. As a⁤ phlebotomist, you play a critical ​role in the healthcare ‍system. Here are a few reasons why​ pursuing a career ‌in phlebotomy can be⁤ a smart choice:
High Demand: The​ demand for skilled ​phlebotomists is⁣ steadily increasing,‌ especially in a​ growing healthcare ‌environment.
Swift Training: Many phlebotomy programs can be completed in ⁢just a⁣ few months, allowing you to start working sooner.
Flexible Hours: Many phlebotomists can choose shifts that fit their lifestyle,‌ whether it’s part-time or full-time.
Career Advancement: A background in phlebotomy opens​ the door to various medical fields and advancement‌ opportunities.
Top phlebotomy Classes in Jackson, MS
Now that you understand the benefits of a career in phlebotomy, ⁤let’s‍ take a look at some of the top phlebotomy training programs in Jackson, MS:
program Name
Institution
Duration
Certification
Contact Information
Phlebotomy Technician Program
Hinds Community College
4 months
CEU Certification
www.hindscc.edu
Phlebotomy Training Course
Fortis College
6 weeks
National Certification
www.fortis.edu
Phlebotomy certification ​Program
Coleman‌ College
3 months
State Certification
www.colemancollege.edu
Medical Assistant with Phlebotomy
Vatterott ⁤College
10 months
Diploma
www.vatterott.edu
benefits of ​Taking Phlebotomy Classes
Choosing to enroll in⁢ phlebotomy classes offers a multitude of benefits:
Hands-On Training: Most programs⁢ include ⁣practical, hands-on training where you learn how to draw blood safely and effectively.
Networking Opportunities: Classes ⁣provide an prospect to meet industry professionals and fellow aspiring phlebotomists.
Flexible ⁢Learning: Many programs offer online options or evening ​classes to accommodate your schedule.
Job ‌Placement assistance: Some institutions offer⁢ job placement services to help you secure a position ‌post-graduation.
What to Expect During Phlebotomy Training
Your phlebotomy training will cover a variety of essential topics to ensure⁤ you are ‌well-prepared for your ⁣certification‍ and career:
Curriculum Overview
Anatomy and Physiology
Venipuncture Techniques
Safety Procedures and Infection Control
Patient interaction and Dialog
Lab Information System and Documentation
Practical Tips for Aspiring Phlebotomists
To make the most​ of your phlebotomy training, consider these practical⁢ tips:
Practice makes ‌Perfect: Take every opportunity to practice your techniques, whether in class‌ or ⁤during externships.
Stay Informed: Keep up-to-date with industry changes and advancements in ‍phlebotomy techniques.
Build Relationships: Network within your ⁤class and with instructors for future references and job opportunities.
Focus ​on Communication: Develop your soft‌ skills to effectively interact with patients and team members in the healthcare setting.
Frist-Hand Experience: A Phlebotomy Student’s Journey
Meet Jane, a recent ‍phlebotomy ‍graduate from Hinds Community College. Jane enrolled in the program after realizing her passion for healthcare and helping others. Here’s what she had⁣ to say about her experience:
⁤ ‌”The ⁤hands-on training was‍ invaluable! I felt⁢ nervous about drawing blood at first, but the supportive environment and continuous practice built my confidence. I was able to excel in my clinical externship⁤ and landed a job ⁣with a local hospital right after graduation!” – Jane​ D.
Conclusion
If you are an aspiring ⁤healthcare professional‌ looking for a promising and fulfilling career, enrolling in one of ⁣the top phlebotomy classes in Jackson, MS,​ is a fantastic step to unlock ​your ⁢potential. With ⁣the right training and certification, you’ll be ‌well-equipped to make a meaningful impact in the healthcare field.
consider your options, reach out to the​ institutions⁢ listed, and take the first step toward your rewarding phlebotomy career ‍today!
youtube
https://phlebotomyclassesonline.net/open-your-career-top-phlebotomy-classes-in-jackson-ms-for-aspiring-healthcare-professionals/
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I've done a good amount of shift work and the typical overnight shift in MY OWN experience is in the realm of 11pm-7am give or take an hour in either direction (assuming 8 hour shift structures. i've done the odd 11p-11a and 7p-7a [there is not enough money in the WORLD to make me want to ever do another 11p-11a shift i'd rather do literally any combination of swing and/or 16 hour shifts in order to avoid that], my cousin's a nurse and her regular night shift is 7p-7a, so yes i know i'm not covering everything.)
you wanna do literally any errand before work? pick up a coffee or some food to take with you on your way? ANYTHING AT ALL? sorry, sucks to suck, everything's closed already. gotta be sure to pack your own food or starve, cause no restaurants are open after midnight whenever you take a break. finally, you're off work, and you've got some energy left to do your errands/go to your appointments/do whatever else adult stuff you need to do? too fucking bad cause you've still gotta wait 2-3 hours before anything opens unless all you need is groceries.
so even if you've found a good night shift job that works for you and you like, you're STILL getting screwed over.
and at your place of employment you better believe you're getting the short end of the stick at least socially, if not in other ways. your coworkers work other shifts by and large do NOT care about you. closers in a hurry to get out dump all their workload onto you. openers blame you for anything that's out of place, whether it is related to your actual job OR NOT. culturally (ie sure it's not every single individual but in general) you are looked down upon by your non-night shift working colleagues. when i was doing retail, the overnight team was 100% an afterthought to the higher ups, our night shift manager was very transparent about how much she had to fight for us in some very stupid ways.
when i was in retail i switched over to part time nights as a second job after years of being in the same place working full time during opening hours, so everyone knew ME and i knew THEM and my other job didn't start until 9 so i'd often hang around with the openers for a while after my shift or even kill time there longer if i had a day off so i was pretty uniquely placed to see alot of these cultural issues. and when i'd work at the shelter i'd work any shift. there's a huge difference in how people treat you and think of you depending on what shift you work, for literally no reason. are there SOME people that take advantage of the night shift to just goof off all night and get nothing done? ABSOLUTELY. but there are people who do that in EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE SHIFT ALSO. overnight workers are people do and if your organization has an overnight shift, it is there for a REASON and if all your overnighters disappeared, you simply wouldn't be able to function. not for nothing, the overnight manager when i was in retail regularly threatened to essentially take her team on strike to prove a point and while that never happened and i don't know how it could have been possible logisitically she DID regularly enforce things such as "do only the tasks that are ACTUALLY your job and do not clean up after the closers" and "yeah no overtime allowed for the next couple weeks, it sucks but we've got a point to prove, go home guys." and that always got her points accross..... temporarily.
(another fun fact from my retail organization is that.... how to easily explain this without delving into all kinds of stupid minutiae? night shift could do as much overtime as they wanted without issue from head office while every other team had both soft and hard hour caps. that led to some pretty interesting schedule fudging, and a culture of expected overtime)
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Ok wait let her speak
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hstreetimplantc · 8 months ago
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Invisalign in London: A Modern Solution for a Perfect Smile
Invisalign has revolutionized the world of orthodontics, offering a discreet and comfortable alternative to traditional metal braces. Whether you're looking to correct crooked teeth, close gaps, or fix bite issues, invisalign london can help you achieve a straighter smile without the visible brackets and wires. London is home to many top Invisalign providers, making it a popular destination for those seeking this innovative orthodontic treatment.
In this article, we’ll explore how Invisalign works, the benefits, the cost of treatment in London, and what to expect during your Invisalign journey.
1. What Is Invisalign?
Invisalign is a modern orthodontic treatment that uses a series of custom-made, clear plastic aligners to gradually straighten your teeth. The aligners are virtually invisible, making them a popular choice for adults and teens who want to correct their teeth without the noticeable appearance of traditional braces.
Each set of aligners is worn for about 1-2 weeks before being replaced with the next set in the series. Over time, these aligners gently shift your teeth into their desired position, offering a more subtle approach to teeth straightening.
2. How Does Invisalign Work?
The process of getting Invisalign involves several steps:
a) Consultation
Your Invisalign journey begins with an initial consultation with a dentist or orthodontist. During this visit, your provider will assess your teeth, discuss your goals, and determine if Invisalign is the right treatment for you. Digital scans or impressions of your teeth are taken to create a 3D model.
b) Custom Treatment Plan
Using the 3D model, your dentist will design a custom treatment plan that outlines the movement of your teeth throughout the course of treatment. You’ll be able to see a virtual preview of how your teeth will look at the end of the process.
c) Wearing the Aligners
Once your custom aligners are ready, you’ll start wearing them for 20-22 hours a day. You’ll only remove them to eat, drink (anything other than water), brush, and floss. Every 1-2 weeks, you’ll switch to a new set of aligners that will continue moving your teeth towards the desired position.
d) Regular Check-ups
Throughout your Invisalign treatment, you’ll have regular check-ups with your dentist every 6-8 weeks to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments.
e) Completion and Retainers
After completing your Invisalign treatment, you’ll likely need to wear retainers to help maintain your newly straightened smile. Retainers are typically worn at night to prevent teeth from shifting back to their original position.
3. Benefits of Invisalign
Invisalign offers numerous advantages over traditional braces, making it a popular choice for both adults and teenagers. Some of the key benefits include:
a) Discreet Appearance
One of the main reasons people choose Invisalign is because the clear aligners are virtually invisible. Most people won’t even notice you’re wearing them, making Invisalign a great option for those who want a subtle way to straighten their teeth.
b) Comfort
Invisalign aligners are made from smooth plastic, which is more comfortable than metal brackets and wires that can cause irritation in your mouth.
c) Removable
Unlike traditional braces, Invisalign aligners can be removed, allowing you to eat your favorite foods and maintain good oral hygiene. There are no dietary restrictions with Invisalign, and brushing and flossing are much easier compared to braces.
d) Custom Fit
Invisalign aligners are custom-made to fit your teeth perfectly, ensuring a snug and comfortable fit. This tailored approach also contributes to faster and more efficient treatment.
e) Fewer Dental Visits
Invisalign requires fewer in-office visits compared to traditional braces, as there are no adjustments needed for wires or brackets. You’ll typically visit your dentist every 6-8 weeks to check on your progress.
4. Invisalign Cost in London
The cost of Invisalign treatment in London can vary depending on the complexity of your case, the length of treatment, and the dental clinic you choose. On average, here’s a breakdown of Invisalign costs:
Invisalign Lite (mild cases): £1,500 - £3,000
Invisalign Full (moderate to complex cases): £3,000 - £5,500
Invisalign i7 (minor corrections): £1,500 - £2,500
Many dental clinics in London offer payment plans or financing options to make Invisalign more affordable. Some clinics may also offer free initial consultations or special promotions, so it’s worth researching and comparing different providers.
5. Is Invisalign Right for You?
Invisalign is a versatile treatment that can address a wide range of orthodontic issues, including:
Crowded teeth
Gapped teeth
Overbites
Underbites
Crossbites
Open bites
However, not all cases can be treated with Invisalign. Complex cases, such as those involving severe bite issues or jaw misalignment, may require traditional braces or other orthodontic treatments. During your consultation, your dentist will evaluate your case and recommend the best course of action.
6. Invisalign vs. Traditional Braces
While both Invisalign and traditional braces are effective at straightening teeth, they offer different advantages:InvisalignTraditional BracesClear and nearly invisibleVisible metal brackets and wiresRemovable for eating and cleaningFixed in place throughout treatmentSmooth plastic aligners – no metal partsCan cause irritation from brackets/wiresFewer office visitsRequires regular adjustmentsMay not be suitable for very complex casesSuitable for all types of orthodontic issues
Your choice between Invisalign and traditional braces will depend on your specific dental needs, lifestyle, and personal preferences.
7. How to Choose the Best Invisalign Provider in London
When selecting an Invisalign provider in London, consider the following factors:
a) Experience and Credentials
Look for a dentist or orthodontist with extensive experience in providing Invisalign treatment. Check their qualifications and reviews to ensure you’re in good hands.
b) Technology
Choose a clinic that uses advanced technology, such as 3D digital scans, to ensure precise treatment planning and accurate aligner fitting.
c) Patient Reviews
Reading reviews from other patients can give you insight into the quality of care and results you can expect from a specific provider.
d) Consultation
Many clinics offer free initial consultations for Invisalign. This is a great opportunity to ask questions, discuss your treatment goals, and get a sense of the clinic’s approach.
e) Cost and Payment Options
Invisalign is an investment in your smile, so it’s important to consider the cost and payment options. Some clinics offer flexible financing plans to make treatment more affordable.
8. Conclusion: Achieve a Straighter Smile with Invisalign in London
Invisalign offers a modern, discreet way to achieve a straighter smile without the need for metal braces. With its custom-made, clear aligners, Invisalign provides a comfortable and convenient orthodontic solution for a variety of dental issues.
If you’re considering Invisalign in London, start by scheduling a consultation with a trusted Invisalign provider to explore your treatment options and get one step closer to your dream smile. With the right care, you can enjoy a beautifully aligned smile that boosts your confidence and improves your oral health.
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fuck-customers · 3 years ago
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I’m so frustrated and tired.
This morning (like 6:10am, 12/4) I had just clocked out and gotten in my car to leave, when my coworker who had just come in called me. They said they weren’t sure if anyone else got in touch with me, but that “they” (meaning our boss) wanted to ask if I could cover for a different coworker on tonight’s shift.
I don’t mind being asked to cover, and will even usually take a shift, but what really bothered me about this is that the coworker who needed coverage, B, should have contacted me themself to ask me to cover for them. Or, if they weren’t able to do that for whatever reason, it should have been placed on my boss, C, to do that. But instead they delegated it to the morning coworker, D. And I have my own issues with D, so even though this incident was not their fault it made it worse all the same. Furthermore, getting B to help cover anybody is like pulling teeth. B and I are technically each other’s on-call backup, because we’re the only ones who work nights (and we only have the two daytime coworkers for the other days, so there’s only 4 people in my department total), but there have been plenty of times I was needing to ask everyone else, or even discuss what to do with my boss, because B refused to cover.
Anyway, for some context for the situation, during the workweek I stay with my mom and stepdad at their house because they live 5 minutes away from the hospital. On my days off I live in my own house with my dad, and our town is the next one over which is an hour away. Dad is there full time and needs me to help care for a lot of things around the house because he’s disabled. For example, he doesn’t have a car (and probably wouldn’t be able to drive safely nowadays anyway) so I have to take him to doctor appointments, physical therapy, pick up prescriptions, check the PO Box, things like that. He always has appointments on Mondays, every single week, which I have told C and our group lead a few times prior to this.
So I had initially told D that I couldn’t cover tonight because I had to pick up my groceries, drive an hour home and rest, and be able to take my dad to his appointments in the morning. They said they understood and would try to get help from others. So I get my stuff and go home and go about my morning.
I had gotten to bed around 10am. Now flash forward to 3:30pm, my dad is waking me up because my mom called him saying that my boss called her (we all work at the hospital so they know each other prior) stating that they couldn’t get a hold of me and needed me to respond to the requests for coverage.
My phone is always on silent, and I was dead asleep, so of course I didn’t know C was trying to reach me. So I ask what’s going on, C says I need to come in and cover because no one else is available. I explained the situation with my dad’s appointments, but C just went on with what felt like a passive aggressive explanation of how an on-call schedule works. Even though those rules don’t seem to apply to B, just to me. C went on to say that if I really couldn’t make it then D would have to do a 24 hour, or C would have to come help cover too.
First of all, if D really did have to take on a 24 hour shift nobody would ever hear the end of it and we’d all have to praise how great D is and how much they do. Which would be insufferable. Secondly, C is the manager so it’s literally their job to come in and cover the shift if no one else is able to! But of course they don’t want to give up their Sunday off either.
I talked to my mom about it and she said because of the on-call agreements that it is my job to come in, even though it’s unfair, and the most I can do is try to file a complaint with HR, which doesn’t seem right because then it just sounds like I’m complaining that someone is sick, which isn’t their fault. But this isn’t the first time B has done this stuff, and that was recently. I get being sick and feeling like shit, but you can’t be calling off constantly and expecting it to be fine. One of our day workers, M, comes in even when they’re sick (always wearing a mask and sanitizes the whole cubby area before they leave) because they can’t always get coverage. And I personally have chronic pain; I occasionally get really bad flare ups in certain areas, to the point where I can barely walk or move at all, and I’ve still come in to work (partially due to the fact that B refused to cover). If we can do these things while suffering then B can come in while sick too.
In any case, I came into work. I told C again about the every Monday appointments situation and they said they’d make note of it to ensure we can get better backup in the future. I’m so tired because I didn’t get a lot of sleep and then had to drive an hour back here just to work a 12 hour night shift and then go all the way back home and stay awake to take care of all my other obligations. And it’s been busy already. Not necessarily because we have so many patients, but I’ve had to run around garnering information from some, faxing things for the doctors, getting paperwork for the nurses, and walking visitors down to the floor. If one more damn person comes in at night and wants to go visit a patient I’m gonna snap.
And maybe in a week or two when B is back to work I’ll have a mysterious bout of illness and need a week off. I’ve got the PTO for it, so I can sit at home and rest and still get paid for it 🤷🏼‍♀️
The whole thing is just a bunch of nonsense. Maybe I can sneak a nap at the nurses station and just have them wake me up if a patient comes, because I really don’t feel too good about driving tired in the morning.
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raineydays411 · 4 years ago
Text
Thanks T
 Summary: A dad is supposed to be your rock. Someone you can go to when times are hard. Someone whos supposed to protect you. WHat happens when your dad doesn’t fit the bill, and Tony does?
A/n: Hello yall! So this story hit really close to home for me lmao. It was mentioned that there aren’t any good dad/step dad Tony fics so I hope you like it. Everyone thank @alphaandromedae97 and an anon for this fic. 
Hope yall enjoy!
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Your life was complicated. 
How can it not be when Tony “billionaire playboy” Stark is your step dad. 
Yes you read that right, step dad. It’s funny really, turns out he has a thing for waitresses that aren’t interested in him at first. That waitress being your mom.
They met when she was working a shift at the restaurant she works at, and he came in with Avengers. He expected her to fall at their feet like everyone else did, but she just scoffed and asked for their order. Pretty epic. 
Then one long montage later, and they ended up getting married. You were happy for your mom, of course. Deep down, Tony is a good man and you knew he’d do anything for your mom. And he’s always been nice to you, making sure you were okay with him proposing and then you moving upstate with him and your mom. He always made sure you felt included, maybe a little too much. He actually took interest in your life, which you’ll always appreciate. 
But you were a total daddy's girl by heart. You always felt like you had a close relationship with your biological father. He was a good dad, he took you out to movies, went to recitals, and always made sure to take you to the father-daughter dance your school district put on every year. It was your tradition. But after your parents divorced a few years ago, it seemed like he was getting more and more distant from you. He stopped calling as much, would skip out on your days to visit him and when you did visit, he’d lock himself in his office, claiming he had to finish some paperwork. It broke your heart, knowing that a man you were so close with, seems to be detaching himself from your life. But, in his defence he always managed to take you to the father-daughter dance. He always did. No matter how long the both of you went without seeing each other, no matter how long you haven’t spoken, he always made sure to take you. 
That act alone, reassured you that he did still love you. He was just busy. In fact, you were getting ready to go to the final father-daughter dance, as you were going to graduate this year and therefore you would be too old to attend the next year. This year was especially important to you. You wanted this night to be perfect. 
And you were positive your father would pull through as he has the past years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were filled with excitement as you tried on multiple different dresses. You always liked this part of getting ready, the dress shopping. 
The confidence you feel when you finally found the right dress. The happy feeling you and your mother had, browsing through the dress shop downtown. Tony offered to buy you a custom designer dress, but you couldn’t accept. This was the shop you’ve been going to since you were a little girl, since you went to your very first dance with your dad. Call it nostalgia or tradition, but you couldn’t shop anywhere else. 
“ Hey ma! I think I found the one.” You shout from the dressing room, finally finding your dress after hours of searching. 
“Come out here and let’s see bug” She replies from where shes seated. You take a deep breath, soothing the wrinkles on the dress and walking outside. Your mother gasps as she see the gown. It was beautiful really. It was a glittery, lilac purple floor length dress with spaghetti straps. And it even had pockets! You were absolutely obsessed. Plus, you could probably use it as a prom dress if you really wanted to.
“Oh baby...you look so beautiful...” You mom says, tearing for the millionth time. 
“Ma, are you crying again?!” You laugh, “ Come on, that's the fifth time you’ve cried since we’ve been in the store!”
She laughs with you, sniffling as she wipes her tears,” I’m sorry, but you’re getting so big, it feels like it was only yesterday we were walking in this shop to get your first dress...and now...” She starts to cry again.
You smile softly, understanding what your mom was saying. You were in kindergarten when you first started attending these meetings, now you’re a senior in highschool. 
“Alright, no more crying. It’s a happy day for you. Has your father called texted you when he was going to come pick you up?” Your mom asked wiping her tears.
You frown, “ No, I haven;’t hear from him since two weeks ago when he said he wanted to get lunch.”
You can see your mom roll her eyes in the mirror, “ Mom he’s just busy. I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”
“Oh sure, I just hate that he doesn’t answer you fast enough.”
“I know ma, but he has work” You argue, “ He calls when he can, and that's okay.”
Your mom sighs, knowing that you were stubborn when it comes to your father. 
“ Well, let’s get this wrapped, Tony wants to get lunch and we need to convince him to get something other than shawarma.” 
You roll your eyes, “ God, what’s with that man and shawarma. It’s like his life line or something”
“I know!”
After the two of you buy the dress, you pick up Tony from the HQ. You loved the drive up there,mainly because of the scenery, but also cause you can see Cap running laps outside.
“Hell my love, hey kiddo” Tony greets switching seats with your mom.
‘Hey T” You greet, smiling at the man. 
“Did you find the dress?” He asks, driving away from his place of work and to a restaurant. 
“Yeah! It’s like the one I told you I wanted. I was surprised it was there to be honest.” You reply, “ Mom practically dehydrated herself shopping though.”
“Oh? How many times did she cry this time? Cause she was crying earlier when she was getting read-- OW! Hey I’m driving” He exclaims as your mom swats his arm.
You giggle at their antics, chest warming with the sight of your mom happy again.
“She cried five times while we were shopping. Five!”
“Five? I didn’t know the human body had that much water.”
The two of you chuckled as your mom made an offended noise.
“I hate that the two of you get on so well.” She pouts, “ And excuse me if I’m a little sad my baby is growing up so fast.”
You tune out the rest of their conversation as your phone buzzes. 
Dad
Hey kid, I’m gonna have to meet you at the school tomorrow. I have a meeting that’s gonna run late.
You
Okay daddy, I’ll see you there <3
You frown, your dad always managed to pick you up from the house. He used to take you to eat before the dance. And he always used to take the day off, devoting his time to you.
“ Uh oh, someone's frowning back there.” Tony remarks, “ What’s wrong kiddo, did a character off that show you like die/”
“Uh no, ma do you think you can drop me off at the dance tomorrow? Dad said he has a late meeting and won’t be able to pick me up.”
Your mother makes eye contact with Tony. They both know how your father has been flaking on you and how it breaks your heart that he does. It makes Tony especially mad because it remind him of his childhood. How his father really didn’t pay attention to him unless he was criticizing  his life choices.
“ Hey y/n, I can drop you off if you want.” Tony offers, “ I really don’t mind.”
You smile, “Thanks T.” 
“No problem kid.”
And with that he pulls into the restaurant parking lot. 
As your family is seated, you take a quick look around the restaurant, wanting to see the reactions of the patrons when they realize Tony Stark is in the building. But as you do, you see a man who looks very familiar. But before you can take a closer look your mom interrupts you.
“Y/n, you know it's rude to stare.”
“Oh sorry mom.” 
So you take a seat and continue with your meal. You tune out your mother and Tony’s conversation as you can’t take your mind off of that man. You take a quick glance back while your parents discuss the dessert menu.
That’s when you realize that the man was your father!
You stand up from the table and make your way towards the man. Surprised to see him there because as far as you know, he’s supposed to be in a meeting right now.
“Daddy?” You ask cautiously. The man tenses up before turning to you.
“Y/n? Honey what are you doing here?” You notice he doesn’t make an attempt to get up and hug you. 
And you also notice the second plate of food across from him and a napkin stained with what looked like lipstick.
“Um, T and Ma wanted to grab dinner.. I thought you were at a meeting?”
“This is a five star restaurant, and you just stopped in?” He asks ignoring your question, “ Of course Stark did..”
You wanted to roll your eyes. Everytime your mother was even close to being happy, your dad always found something wrong with the person she was with. But he seemed to have a strong disliking towards Tony for some reason.
“Um right...So you told me you were in a meeting? That’s why I couldn’t come over after dress shopping?”
“Right! A meeting...I’m currently in right now.” He says quickly looking towards the women's bathroom, “ You should go back to your table hon, my boss is really strict”
“Oh right, sorry” You say dejected, “ I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” your dad says with a soft smile, “ I love you Bug.”
You smile at the nickname your parents gave you, “ I love you too pop.” 
And with that you walk off, back to your mother and Tony. You can see they’re trying to hide the fact that they were watching by covering their face with the dessert menus.
“Oh here you are, we got you a tiramisu” Tony says nonchalantly, pushing the dessert towards you.
“Uh huh” You hummed teasingly, “ Dad says hi by the way.” 
“ Oh does he now?” You mom said not convinced, “ That’s nice of him.”
You hummed, mouthful of cake signaling that you were done with the conversation. Your family finished up their meals and signaled for the check. As you were walking out the restaurant, you turned to say goodbye to your dad, only to see his “boss” was back from the restroom.
Only this boss was a 5′3, brunette bombshell in a tight red dress and having her neck kissed by the man you call your father. 
Your stomach felt sick.
“Oh gross, I really didn’t need to see that.” You mutter catching the attention of Tony who was behind you. 
“See what kid?” He asks following your gaze, “Oh. Yikes is that even allowed? I didn’t know your dad was a vampire.”
You snort, “ Oh god T, that's disgusting.” 
He just laughs and pats your head, “ Come on, lets go before your mom yells at us.”
You smile, but you wondered why your dad didn’t tell you that he was on a date. Or that he was even seeing someone?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts of your fathers secrets where wiped from your brain as you scrambled to get ready for the dance the next day.
Tony surprised you and your mom with a mani-pedi day at 10am and a hair appointment for you at 1pm. After you had to get shoes for your dress at the mall and then be home by 5pm to get your dress and makeup on, take pictures, and then be out the door by 7pm to take pictures with your dad, then finally be at the dance by 8pm when doors open. 
The whole day you were messaging your dad about how excited you are, getting similar replays back. He pays for you shoes and complements your hair. 
Your heart swells as you think about how hard it was in the beginning of the divorce. But your father always tried his best to spend time with you and made sure you knew he loved you.  
It was hard on you at first, but you appreciate that he tried for you. The fact that he’s been taking you to this dance since you were a little girl is proof enough. You were a little sentimental, this was your last dance after all. 
You smiled looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful in your dress. Your makeup was done to perfection and you had gotten a silk press in your hair. You felt like a princess.  You heard your mom sniffle.
“Mom, again?” You laugh,turning to face her.
“I’m sorry! You just look so beautiful!” she says with a sad smile, “ God, you grew up so fast bug” 
You roll your eyes, but feel the tears spring to your eyes as well, “ Ma! Stop I can’t ruin my make up” 
You both laugh as you fan your eyes
“You ready?” She asks, “ Tony’s waiting for you in the living room.”
You nod, gathering your things and walking out the door. You let your mom walk down the stairs first. You can hear Tony and you assume Happy in the living room. You finally make it down the stairs. It turns out it was Tony, Happy, and Peter Parker. Your mom was chatting with them and they all had their back turned to you. 
“Ahem.” You clear your throat, catching their attention.
You see Peter stiffen as he gazes at you and mutters a soft “Wow”
You blush, what can you say he’s a cutie.
 Happy gives you a comforting smile.
 And Tony?
He has a soft look on his face, “ Jeez kid, you clean up well.” 
You laugh, “ Better than you old man, what's up with the pants?”
He had on Iron Man pj pants.
“Oh hush.” He laughs, “ You look beautiful kiddo.” 
You look down with a grin.
“Oh pose for some pictures!” You mom says excitedly, “ Go Y/n, by your self first and then with me. Then with Tony.”
You sigh, knowing how long it was gonna take.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally after three million pictures, your mom and Tony drove you to the school.
“Okay bug, is your dad here?” Your mom asks looking around at the group. 
“Yeah! He should be inside.” You say kissing your mom goodbye and waving to Tony. You show the ticket and waltz in the gym. 
You smile and wave at classmates and parents. These people you’ve known since you were a child and who knew you. You finally got to the table you always sat at woth your dad. 
It was empty.
You frown and look at your phone.
Me
On my way pop!
It said the message was read.
“He must be on  driving” You think to yourself as you sat at the table.
But then twenty minutes passed. Then an hour. then two
You were still there, waiting for your dad to come. You sent five messages and they all remained unopened. 
You looked around the gym, seeing a few parents looking at you with pity in their eyes. You can barely stand it.
You got up and went to the restroom, trying not to cry. and in the restroom you tried calling you father, but you were sent to voicemail. The you finally got a message. 
Dad
“I’m so sorry bug, I can’t make it to the dance. I have a meeting today. :(”
You felt dejected. Humiliated. 
Your father has rearranged visitation days, skipped out on little crimonied and rectitals you’ve had, but this by far was the most disappointing thing he has done. 
He promised multiple times that he’d be here. Never has he ever skipped out on the dance before.  ANd he knew how important this was to you. Thi was your last dance, and he ruined it. 
You let yourself cry. You sobbed as you realized that your father has been distancing himself from you. That your relationship hasn’t been okay for a while. And you just didn’t want to let go.
You sigh as you realize you’ve been in the restroom for a while. You stand up and look at your face. Despite the red eyes and slightly red nose, your make up was pretty much intact.
“Huh at least my setting spray hasn’t let me down.” You say to your self. After a few mintues of calming down, you walk out of the restroom and bump into a figure. 
“Sorry” you mutter about to pass the person. 
“Gee you took a while in there, I told you not to get that coffee kid.” 
You quickly look up and se Tony.
Dressed in a suit, flowers in hand.
“Hey kid.” He says softly
“what..what are you doing here?” You whisper, tears filling your eyes again.
“Well apparently you need an rent a dad, and I happened to be in the neighborhood.” He jokes, then says, “ I’m sorry your dad didn’t come kiddo, and I know I’m not him, and quite frankly I’m glad I’m not. But I do love you like you’re my own, and well...yeah here I am.”
You stay quiet, looking at Tony in wonder. Touched that he did this for you.
“Of course if you just want to leave then we can just get out of here” He rambles nervously, “ But you gotta tell me kid cause I’m kinda freaking out.”
“Can we get ice cream after?” You ask him
“What?”
“After the dance, we should go get ice cream.” 
“Uh sure?” Tony says, “So what do you usually do at these things?” 
You laugh and steer him to the tables where they have all the activities at. You actually have more fun with him than you had recently wit your dad. Tony is definitely more competitive than your father and treats every game as a challenge. Not like something he’s humoring just for his kid. He celebrates with you instead of telling you to calm down. He chats with the adults, is nice to the kids, and does the goofy dances with you. Seeing Iron Man do the chicken dance is something you didn’t know you needed till now. He managed to turn this horrible night to one of the best ones you’ve had in quite a while. 
Finally the father daughter dance started to signal the end of the dance. Tony bowed dramatically and said in a horrible british accent, “ Lady Y/n?”
You laugh and make your way to the dance floor. You’re both quiet for a bit, snorting at how serious the other dads and their daughters look.
“Hey T?” You say softly, looking at the ground.
“Yeah kid?” 
“Thank you. It’s nice to know that one of my dad's isn’t a total asshole.” You say. knowing that this is the first time you referred to Tony as your dad.
His eyes get misty as he clears his throat,
“Anytime, bug”
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lostgreekgod · 4 years ago
Text
delusion
a/n: hello aaaaa i had @theaudacitytowrite give me a prompt for a loki x reader fic solely because I do not find entertainment elsewhere! anyways
word count: 2776 (shit got longer, but what can I say I'm very feely when it comes to angst)
warnings: angst. angst angst angst. some crying. there was this one mention of blood, tendons & stuff ? but that's about it have fun crying
pairing: loki x f!reader
summary: you and Loki have been together for quite some time now. what happens when his insecure self realizes that you love him? and that he does too?
another a/n: I feel like this could use a part 2 i might come up with it next week because I've got a 7 day break from school yayy lmk if you'd like that nexie
4 years. It had been 4 years, 3 months, and 27 days since y/n had shed a tear. But on this fine autumn morning, as the yellow and brown leaves rustled in the gentle winds, as the smell of coffee, pumpkin, and spice wafted in the air, she let a tear fall- courtesy of her lover. No, scratch that. Her ex-lover.
\\ 3 hours earlier \\
Humming a tuneless song, an exhausted y/n walked back to her room in the Avenger’s tower. A whole day of training wouldn’t be smart when she had a crucial mission to lead just the next day, but she wanted the mission to pan out exactly right. This wasn’t her first mission, but the stats were so much more critical compared to the missions she had been sent on before. A new rival organization was springing up in SHIELD’s radar, and they seemed as high as ever in spirit, regardless of how the Avengers had managed to crush HYDRA not so long ago. Apparently, according to a message they had received a few moments before, the up-and-coming organization had 4 junior agents in captivity, and in exchange for those agents, they wanted intel. Fury’s plan was to provide a hard drive with incorrect information with an embedded virus, and have the agents rescued before the rival agents decrypted the file and realized SHIELD’s play. Two birds with one stone, as he had phrased. y/n was going to go in with Natasha and Loki. Nat, because she was as light as a cat on her feet, and Loki because he had his seidr for illusions, teleportation, et cetera. This wasn’t going to be her first mission with her 4-month boyfriend either, but she was excited to be fighting alongside him, nevertheless. As she washed up in the shower, she heard her room door open and close with a click. Finally. She thought with a smile. She could go to sleep in her beloved’s arms for the few hours she had left for rest and relaxation before they set out. Putting on her nightgown, she left the bath. She saw how Loki was cocooned on her bed, arms reaching out towards her, a little smile on his face. Unlike her, the god didn’t train much- but he still looked tired.
“Hello, my little lioness. Whom did you beat up today? You do realize it is wiser to rest before a mission.” He said in a loud, lazy whisper. All y/n could do was smile sweetly at him and snuggle under the covers. He knew how the lack of training made her insecure about her ability to be stealthy. Instead of letting Loki’s arms wrap around her like most of the other nights, she spooned his chest instead. Loki’s eyes widened at the sudden gesture, his body tensing up at the sudden disposal of love. He had only given love; he had never been on the receiving side of it. Wait, love? He didn’t love y/n. He didn’t. That swell he felt in his chest every time he saw her was simply the result of the great appreciation and respect he had for her. Nothing more. He couldn’t love her. After all, everyone he had ever loved ended up being taken away from him.
Chuckling lightly, he hoped y/n wouldn’t catch onto his nervousness. “What are you doing my dear?”
Inhaling his scent, y/n mumbled, her eyes still closed. “Sleeping. Go to sleep my love. We have to be up in less than 3 hours.”
My love? Yes, y/n had called him that multiple times, but he had never thought much of it. Why was he suddenly so wary of it? Did y/n truly love him? No, maybe she wasn’t thinking. She was already worn out and sleepy, maybe she blurted it out accidentally. No one could love him. No one.
y/n sensed that he still hadn’t relaxed. Cracking her eyes slightly open, she asked lightly, “Is everything okay, love?” Loki’s brows furrowed at her question. There it was again. Love. Loving him was impossible. To love him would be delusional. A move of delusional stupidity. Blatant ignorance.
Loki shifted away from her and sat up, ignoring the throbbing in his chest when he heard her whine in response. He met her eyes only to be asked another question. “Love, what’s the matter?”
His heart clenched against his chest, suddenly the room was too hot. He had to understand what was going on. He had to figure this out before it was too late.
“Love?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
y/n scanned his face, trying to understand the reason for his sudden withdrawal. She simply hummed in response.
Loki raised his eyebrows, indicating her to reiterate her response.
“Yes, what is the matter?”
“You referred to me as ‘love’.” He repeated, his tongue spewing out the last word like it was coated in dirt and grime.
“Yes, I suppose I did. Is something bothering you?” she asked again, placing her hand on his thigh as a gesture of concern.
How was he expected to ask her if she actually, truly loved him, without causing a kerfuffle? Without making it seem awkward, without losing her? What if she said she didn’t love him? What then? Would that make him feel better? Would that make him happy? A chill ran down his spine when he realized his answer. No. he wouldn’t be happy. In fact, he’d be terribly upset. He wanted y/n to love him. Shaking his head, he tried to heed logic over his emotion. He had to stop himself before he caused something he couldn’t fix. Before y/n realized the monster he truly was. He had to protect his beloved y/n, that would be the least he owed to her, after all that he had led her into.
He neutralized his expression, calming his breathing. This was for the best. He was the God of Lies, he did not deserve love after all that he had done.
��As a matter of fact, y/n, something is bothering me.”
y/n nodded, encouraging him to explain his predicament. “You can talk to me, love.”
Loki inhaled quickly, the use of the blasted term knocking him out of character for a second before he was able to regain his composure. He would ask the question directly. Right to the point, like he was doing business. That was the only way he could maintain his pretense without breaking down too soon. y/n might never forgive him after tonight, but to have her angry at him was so much better than losing her, on his account.
“Do you love me?”
y/n gasped lightly at the sudden question, her eyes widening at how Loki asked her about something so deep with no emotion in his voice. She sensed his sudden hostility, this coldness he was presenting her with. Sitting upright, she looked into his eyes. Nothing. She could read nothing from his expression. All she could pick up was this eerie sadness radiating off of him.
She decided to try reasoning with him. This sudden hostility meant something was bothering him at a much more personal level, and such issues mustn’t be dealt with before an important mission. She would know.
“We don’t have to do this today, Loki. We have to be up early tomorrow, and I doubt- “
“Answer the question, y/n.” Loki interrupted, his voice hardened like steel.
“Loki, we really mustn’t-“ she tried again.
“Answer, y/n.” he pressed.
y/n could only look at him and wonder what the cause was for the unexpected change in his demeanor. How was she supposed to tell him? How was she supposed to give the answer to the one question that could either make or break everything that they had together? How was she supposed to tell him that her love for him was far more than life? That he was her life? It didn’t matter how less time they had spent with each other; she knew him a lot longer before they had decided to begin their courtship, and she had fallen in love with him even before they had gotten romantically involved. She only fell harder for him after she saw how he truly was. How broken and vulnerable, how he yearned for a place in someone’s heart, how he wished someone could love him without any foretold conditions. How he wished to be free. Loki’s eyes widened as realization dawned upon him. y/n’s lack of response answered his question. She did love him. But he had to hear it from her. That was the only way he could finish this for good. For his y/n.
“I’m waiting.” He prompted, slightly flinching at the coldness in his voice.
y/n’s eyes flicked over to his, her skin eliciting goosebumps from the steely nature of his voice. He had never been like this to her. The last time she had seen him like this was when he was under Thanos’ control. Breathing deeply, she reached out and held his hands, shutting her eyes for a moment.
“Yes. I do. I love you,” she whispered, blood pounding against her ears. Her heart convulsed in her chest when Loki didn’t reply. She cracked her eyes open, her fingers growing cold at Loki’s unchanged demeanor.
Loki’s chest heaved at her response. ‘I love you,’ she had whispered, her eyes shut at the vulnerability of their situation. He already knew what she was going to say, but to hear it from her own mouth, her voice tiny as ever in fear that he wouldn’t return her feelings had him gasp slightly. His blood ran cold, his mind freezing at another realization. He loved her too. Of course he did. How could he have been so blind? He loved her so much, he hadn’t even noticed. Finish it! Finish it right now! Before you make things worse! His mind screamed at him. He knew what he had to do. Swallowing, he tried to memorize the feel of her hands against his. This was all he was ever going to have. A memory. A memory of his little lioness, a memory of what he would have had if he was someone different. Someone nicer, better. Someone not him. He pulled away from her, and met her eyes, his expression stoic and emotionless. Like the monster he was.
“Pity.” He whispered, his heartbreaking at how y/n’s eyes widened. He thought he experienced heartbreak when he lost his mother. As destructive as that moment was, many years ago, he believed he wouldn’t feel anything over this. After all, you can’t break something that’s already broken. But boy, was he wrong. This was heartbreak. And apparently, it's even worse when you go through it a second time. His veins felt like ice, his head heavier than ever. He could feel his throat closing up, all he wanted was to rip his heart out of his chest. He didn’t deserve her. Hell, he didn’t deserve to live after all that he had done.
“What?” came y/n’s voice, a little barely over a whisper. He couldn’t help but notice how her voice was heavy, laced with hurt.
“It’s a pity you think you love me.” He reiterated, his words chapping away at his already cracked heart.
y/n couldn’t process the event unfolding in front of her. Loki didn’t love her. No, worse. Loki thought it was stupid that she loved him. If she had any concern for her dignity, she would ask him to leave. But she loved him far too much. She decided to try one last time. Straddling him, she reached over and cupped his face in his hands, pressing her lips against his ice-cold ones. He was shocked for a moment, and before he realized, he was kissing her back. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you too. But all could do was try and engrave in his mind the feeling of her soft lips on his, the warmth of her hands against his cheeks. This was the end. He had to use all his willpower not to pull her in his arms and deepen the kiss, and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
Breaking away, y/n whispered, “it may be stupid that I do. Pathetic, even. -It isn’t pathetic. I love it.- Honestly, not one day goes by where I don’t face criticism about how I must be an ignorant fool to love someone like you. But what these people don’t understand, is that they are the ones that are ignorant. They do not see you as I do, and although I wish every day that they would, I doubt it will ever happen. You are, the best thing that has ever happened to me. That ever will happen to me,” she says, taking his hand and placing it over her heart. “Can’t you feel this? This is what I feel every time I think of you- this is how I feel every time you merely breathe in my direction. -You are the reason I still exist, my dear. You keep me tethered to the outside world.- My love for you has been in existence for far longer than our courtship. I wish I could do more than just tell you how much I love you, if I could, I would give you anything, everything you’ve ever wanted; my heart was yours the moment I set eyes on you 2 years ago. So take it, trample over it- it was yours to do anything with anyway. -So was mine. I am yours, just as you claim to be mine.- I love you, Loki Friggason, and I refuse to stop. -I love you too, my darling y/n. but I must do this. For you. Forgive me.-”
All Loki could do was hold in all those thoughts he desperately wanted to put in words. He could feel his eyes well up, his chest convulsing for the umpteenth time. Inhaling her scent, he hoped he would remember the sweet smell of chocolate and wine she always smelled of.
With great restraint, he pushed her off of him, his heart churning at y/n’s gasp. Her heart cracked at his dismissal. He couldn’t look at her while he shattered her heart, while he ripped it right off the pedestal. This was the end.
“You say all this, but you mean nothing by it, I assure you. I have encountered numerous midgardians professing their love for me, but I can tell when someone lies y/n. And it is very clear to me how you are simply overwhelmed. You do not love me. You are simply but a blatant, ignorant fool.” Could his heart shatter any further? Apparently, yes. It clawed at his chest, pain searing in his bones. He would feel all of it. He would embrace it.
He forced his lips to morph into a twisted, sickening smile. Agony. That is what he felt. Fresh burning agony, like fire in his tendons.
“What we have is all but a product of boredom. I was simply bored, silly mortal.” He looked up at her when she gasped, her hand on her heart. It was almost as if he could hear it shatter. All he wanted to do was hold her and weep. Tell her how sorry he was. Tell her how he wished he was the person she truly deserved. Instead, he was going to crawl into a ball and wish for death.
He got up to leave. Once and for all. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he willed his tears to sink back to wherever they came from. He didn’t deserve to cry.
“Did I ever matter to you?” he heard her whisper. Deciding not to answer, he stepped towards the door before she called to him. “Did I, Loki?” she asked again, her voice steadier. There was the woman he had hopelessly fallen in love with. A lioness, she certainly was.
He turned around to look at her, the same lifeless smile dancing across his lips. If he was someone else, he would have been taken aback at y/n’s stoic expression. She would rise again. She would continue to live her life, and no one was going to stop her. Especially him. That was the lioness he knew of. The only evidence of her hurt was the tiny teardrops prickling in her eyes, which he could see only because of the morning sun rays peeking in through the gaps in the curtains. She never cried.
“No,” he breathed, swiftly exiting through the door before she could see the tears that had traitorously fallen onto his cheeks.
part 2 here!
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imagine-the-energon · 2 years ago
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PRIME DIRECTIVES, CHAPTER 3
She fiddled with her shirt sleeve as she sat on the porch, waiting for the yellow Camaro to finish pulling through the driveway.
It had been a week, and she was okay to move around the house so long as she didn’t harm herself. Which she wasn’t going to do, at all! She was rather happy with going over her documents and sorting through what she knew could wait, what she had to talk about with the others, and what had to be fixed immediately.
In her room, beside her bed, was a half-built cylinder composed of nanites from the six Cybertronians who were lingering somewhere in the forest. It was generating slowly, all of them expecting it to finish in roughly three or so months. And for some reason, it needed a vial of her blood, which hadn’t been a fun experience when she was stuck in bed, already feeling woozy every time she caught a glance at someone’s exposed chest and got an eyeful of the dissection scars.
So, yeah, she really didn’t want to be near the thing until it was time to get the Allspark in it so Alchemist and Amalgomist could find a safe place to put it until after Mission City.
“He is less than five miles away,” Stormdrive announced, shifting from where she was standing in her bipedal form, still smaller than the giant trees around the cabin. “Are you certain you wish to do this? You are still recovering.”
“I reached out to him,” she sighed. “And if it helps the timeline by getting him to Sam sooner, then we’ll have to take it. Besides, with the bank accounts Primus gave us, it’s safe to say we’ll be able to live anywhere and be set no matter what.”
“It’s good to know a god,” Nathan joked from beside her, making her roll her eyes.
“He’s, like, your father,” she frowned. “Doesn’t that make you a demi-god or something?”
“Most Primes are,” he shrugged. “Or, at least, that’s what their Caste wants you to believe. Sentinel was the worst at it. Optimus is the best example of a Prime without the divine heritage. But, yeah, we’re technically demi-gods.”
“And you and Storm…” she trailed off. “Like, siblings? Or?”
They both laughed. She felt ridiculous for asking it. “No, we were made to be a pair,” Stormdrive answered. “Us two are the only two not actually related to the other Thirteen. Well, aside from Morgan and Shadowburst.”
“Because they were made after, in the first wave.”
“Septimus mentored Sentinel before there was an… accident shortly after Sentinel no longer needed his advice.” Storm started, sounding hesitant.
“Convenient,” Nathan muttered. “When can we slag that piece of scrap metal?”
“2013 or 14,” she answered. “And I plan on going for him immediately, so he can’t get anyone killed.”
“That’s years away,” he protested, and she just shrugged.
“One mile,” Storm suddenly announced. “He believes that there were humans trying to find him, which is why he asked if he could still visit.”
“Sector Seven,” Ashley told her, getting a disgusted look from the femme as she stood. “Was he followed?”
“He claims to have lost them after 12 cycles,”
She frowned. “How much Earth time is that?”
Storm gave her a saddened look. “Roughly 12 hours. It should’ve normally taken six.”
“He was trying to lose them. He must be tired,” she sighed.
Not even a second later, a familiar, beat-up yellow Camaro came down the lane, with no driver in sight. The Autobot came to a halt as she started to walk down the steps, and the second her foot hit the ground, he was transformed and staring at the three of them, blue eyes wide as his doorwings twitched.
“Hello there- little lady,” he said towards her, making her let out a laugh.
“Hello,” she echoed. “We… we need to talk for a bit. And, Bumblebee, it’s really important that what we’re about to tell you, you don’t tell anyone else.”
He glanced over at Storm, who had the same seldom expression and nodded. He then looked around as the others entered the clearing, recognition on his face before he glanced back down at her.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Riley, and I work for someone called “The Informant”. They have the power to help stop the war, but they can’t do it alone, so they recruited us to help them.”
“The Informant- Dangerous?”
It was weird, hearing her voice, but she shook her head. “They want to ensure Cybertronians survive as a species, and this war is preventing that. They don’t want to fight.”
“They would be considered a NAIL,” Stormdrive butted in. “They don’t care about factions. They just want the fighting to stop.”
Bumblebee looked over the femme before glancing down at her. “What are- your words- human?”
—————————————-
It took a lot to get Bumblebee to promise them he wouldn’t tell Optimus unless he had just cause to, and even then she wasn’t completely sure what he meant by “just cause”. As it were, they didn’t tell him anything about the Allspark or the Matrix, only that the Informant was looking for them and would be able to get confirmed locations within a year. She was their contact, and she wanted to help as much as possible. In return, he’d help get them in with the Autobots.
Which meant between planning on how to get to the Allspark, they also now had to house hunt for a place that was close enough to the Witwickyes, it wouldn’t seem odd that she reached out. Hmm, well, Micronus was technically the same age as Sam in this new life, and even though he could easily test out of it… hopefully he wouldn’t be too angry.
She sat down on one of the couches in the barn that the bots used with a huff, Nathan glancing up from where he was fiddling with some phone components. “Still thinking about what to do?” he asked, and she just nodded with a grimace.
“One thing at a time,” she finally said. “First thing’s first: The Allspark. It’s top priority that it’s moved vessels before it’s destroyed in Mission City.”
“And have you figured out how yet?” He asked, causing her to give a so-so motion.
“They’re obsessed with Cybertronians,” she started, voice soft. “If we create a diversion and cause most of them to leave for capture, we could most likely slip in and out without much issue.”
“But that puts the others at risk,” he cautioned, making her nod.
“They’re aware that cold is a weakness through Megatron. Is there any way they could get at least some temporary cold upgrades?”
Nathan barked out a laugh. “We’re not some type of-”
“Machine to upgrade?” she finished, smirking at how he flushed. “I’m not trying to imply that, but anything to give them an edge, we should take.”
“Quinn might be able to tell someone what to make,” he mused. “If he could find a way, it would be him. Pray he never meets Brainstorm.”
“Ha, or Wheeljack. The universe would explode.”
—————————————-
Bumblebee was… certainly something. He was definitely a child at heart, especially as she pinned down that he was the equivalent of 17, and would be for another 50 or so years. It made sense as to why he bonded with Sam so easily, and as she sat on the couch in the barn, introducing him to the world of video games, she wondered if they could use this to their advantage.
“We could enroll you and Michael in school,” she mused, making his hardlight form tilt his head towards her, otherwise enthralled by Mario Kart: Double Dash. “It’s normal for some to not be able to speak in humanity, through birth or,” she let her eyes flick to his throat, where the scar tissue could vaguely be seen. “Traumatic response. And then Morgan can get a job as an interpreter, and that’s three of us in school to get close to Witwicky.”
Bee paused the game, turning to her, eyebrows furrowed before she watched his hands slowly form words and desperately wished she paid more attention when her sister tried to teach her the language. He signed something again, but this time, she watched as he raised his pinkie before making an L shape and the pinkie again, followed by a V and a nearly closed fist.
“You… like? ASL?” she asked, getting a smile and a nod. “I’m glad. There are a lot of uses for it outside of just talking. Speaking of talking…” she trailed off, staring at him as he lowered his hands. “You said you’d contact Optimus about us so the others wouldn’t be blindsided. That was a few days ago ‘Bee, and you still haven’t done it.”
Suddenly, his form disappeared in a flash of static, making her sigh and pull out her phone.
“I’ll do it then!” She called out before lowering her voice to a mutter. “I hope Optimus grounds him.”
—————————————-
10:46 AM [SECURED PHONE 1]: B told me you were running low on Energon. There’s a deposit beside my place that can be refined into cubes by the time you get here.
10:50 AM [O.PAX]: I apologize, I do not believe we have been introduced.
10:53 AM [SECURED PHONE 1:] Shit, he hasn’t briefed you yet? Please don’t be angry at him. I have a datapacket that has information. You can run it for viruses or whatever, but you’ll understand when you read it.
11:20 AM [O. PAX]: You offer this information freely?
11:21 AM [SECURED PHONE 1]: As freely as I can. There’s some things even I don’t know, and then there’s stuff I have to keep secret. I wish you and your team no ill will, Prime.
11:21: AM [O. PAX]: Are you able to get Archibald Witwicky’s glasses?
11:22 AM [SECURED PHONE 1]: Maybe? Even if I get the glasses, the decepticons are going to go after Sam, even if they know he doesn’t have them, ‘cause he’ll be a link to you.
11:22 AM [SECURED PHONE 1]: There’s… also something you should know. About Megatron and the Allspark.
—————————————-
Bumblebee still got in trouble, but more for not contacting them about allies sooner than revealing himself to an unknown. He left to go with Quinn and Shadowburst to scout Tranquility for houses and then to enroll him and Michael into the local school, which he was… strangely excited for. It was then she realized he probably missed moments like that, if he ever had them to begin with.
While they were gone, the rest schemed of Sector 7, Megatron, and the Allspark. Of how they were going to get into the facility, and how they were going to get out. How they were going to transfer the Allspark without anyone noticing, and how they were going to do an in-depth scan of Megatron without alerting his systems.
In the end, they agreed that she would sneak into the Hoover Dam with Morgan and Nathan while Stormdrive and Overboard distracted Sector 7. In her bag would be the small cylinder made of pure Cybertronian ores and ever-evolving nanites.
She was aware of the looks the other two were giving her as she handed them the lab coats and clipboards and did her best to ignore them. It was easy to get away from the tour group, and even easier to get into S7 territory.
Of course, it might have something to do with the two Primes triggering every alarm they could for NBE activity. They had roughly six months before the other Autobots would be in position for them to come down to Earth, and any change as drastic as tipping Sector 7 off would ruin all of their plans in one fell swoop.
She was mapping out escape plans when they rounded the corner and found herself frozen and the sight of the near sixty-foot cube that was crackling with energy. Suddenly, the cylinder in her bag felt too small.
“Ash?” Nathan murmured, pulling her from her thoughts.
“I knew it was going to be big,” she whispered back. “Can the container hold all of that energy?”
“Energy?” Morgan echoed. “What energy?”
“There’s… there’s literal lightning coming off of the cube! You mean to say that…” she trailed off, looking between their twin horrified looks. “Only I can see it.”
And it was only then, that after almost four months of planning, did it sink in.
“Purity,” she whispered. “I was never supposed to be a Cybertronian… I was supposed to be the Allspark’s next vessel. I am supposed to be it.” The mention of conduciveness made sense now. “Did you know? Any of you?”
“No,” Nathan immediately answered, looking as sick as she felt. “We would’ve protested if we knew. The Allspark isn’t supposed to be housed in a living being. The consequences alone-”
“We can argue over this later,” Morgan cut in. “We don’t have enough time to just stand here and do nothing while Stormdrive and Overboard are giving us a distraction.”
“You’re right,” she murmured, moving forward, her legs feeling like they were trying to give out from underneath her. They had clipboards with papers, but as she glanced at them again, only hers had the transfer information. Their badges were scanned and they were waved through.
They separated, Ash going to the very top where she could see the energy gathering the most. The second she touched it, it was like the world had been whisked away. It was just her and the cube.
Hello Purity.
Hello Knowledge, she thought back, fighting off a shudder as the information the hundreds of previous vessels had run through her. This is what Sam had to deal with? All those equations and schematics? All the voices in their heads?
You’re late.
I was sidetracked.
Are you going to aid them all, or aid the one?
She paused at this, fingers almost lifting away. What am I supposed to do? Even with the information you are giving me, it’s only half of what I already know. What is true? What is false?
What is greater, the will to hate, or the will to have peace?
She knew the answer as the informational flow stopped, causing her to come back, shaking her head and blinking rapidly. She looked at the checkerboard, which had what looked to be some filled-out paperwork and clipped the pen back into place.
The descent down was slow, and when she got to Nathan and Morgan, it took everything not to collapse.
“She’s burning up,” Nathan hissed once he checked her over. “We need to find a new vessel.”
“No,” she blurted out. “We need to-” she cut herself off, standing up a bit straighter as a few scientists walked past them. “We still need to scan Megatron. I’ll be fine until we get back to the cabin.”
“But-” Nathan started, but she shook his arm off, ignoring her shaking legs.
“Megatron, now.” she hissed, a wave of heat flaring with her irritation, and the two men inhaled sharply.
“Ok, just… calm down,” Morgan soothed. “Your eyes went white and glowed.” She wanted to do nothing more than to tear his head off at telling him to calm down, but instead took a deep breath and continued walking until she found herself stopped again, the sudden chill making her want to cry for the warlord.
At first, she thought that he was gray, like in the movies, but upon a closer look, she realized it was the ice making him appear lighter than he was. She could see that the bottom of his feet was nearly pitch black, and the further up she went, the closer he got to whatever was keeping him frozen, the more silver he got.
“Thermoregulating armor?” she whispered, and one of the scientists looked at her from his station.
“Maybe. We’ve been trying to study it for years, but there are these things that immediately seal the pieces we try to cut off,” He shrugged before noticing the scanner in her hand. “What’s that?”
“A scanner,” she answered. “Banachek was the one who ordered its creation. We think it might be able to cut through the radiation NBE-1 is giving off.” They would have no idea it was a basic medical scanner that was able to pass through EM fields.
“Well, hope it works,” he said, waving her forward, and the three moved as one, Ash once again at the top of the scaffolding while the other two were at the other ends, their own scanners in hand.
She found herself unable to look away from his face, that sick feeling coming back tenfold as she saw the barely alight red optics almost… staring at her. “You’ll be free from this soon, Megatronus,” she promised quietly, lowering the scanner to point toward his spark chamber. She saw the Cybertronian scrolling by as the readings were taken, but her focus was on the pulse-rate of his spark, which was slow, but trying to speed up the longer the scan went.
The device gave a tiny beep before shutting off, and she stepped back, the feeling of being watched still coming from the mech in front of her. His optics were flicking, and she took a risk, reaching out and hovering, not quite touching him as her fingers screamed at the cold he was radiating.
“Peace will come soon,” she promised again. “Don’t forget why you approached the Senate originally.”
Nathan cleared his throat and she pulled her hand back, walking away as the first alarm began to ring.
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superhero--imagines · 4 years ago
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Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here!/ Part 20 Here! His POV Part 1! Here /  His POV Part 2 Here!  / Part 21 Here! < This is Part 22!>
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A/N: This has some NSFW themes, so if you’re under 18 don’t interact. 
Also the Tag list is closed, I think this is about how many people can add for this. An alternative is to follow and turn on post notifications. 
Um.. I guess this will be going on hiatus for a few weeks. I’m just busy at work, and I’m kind of out of ideas, also low engagement in the last few parts has made me feel a little discouraged.
That being said- if you order a letter with a twilight character, I’ll probably end up giving a hint for some things that will happen in the series. So if you are on the fence about getting a letter- or you just really can’t stand to wait, there’s always that option haha. 
 Anyway hope you like it ~
* “(Y/N).... what are you doing?”
* Muffled noise escapes you as you dig yourself deeper , drowning in his scent
* “(Y/N)”
* Your name leaves in a whisper and a smile curls onto his mouth
* “I mean how can you even see the television from that angle” he mumbles
* You sigh, your breath fanning across the lilac shirt he wore, you’re head firmly nestled in his back
* You’re in his room, lying beside him on his bed, essentially spooning him. The movie flickers on in front of you, you’re only half way through the first Harry Potter movie right now
* Honestly you’ve wanted to snuggle into Edward’s back for a while now, ever since you did it right before you both kissed for the first time
* It just feels so warm and safe here
* “I can hear it just fine” you mumble back. You feel the muscles in his back ripple as he shifts, your arm slinging over his chest.
* His hand covers your own. His hands so big it almost entirely envelops your own. And you can’t help but imagine what that hand would feel like in other places
* Tangled in your hair, trailing up and down your sides, under your shirt, dipping beneath the waist band of your shorts-
* Nope nope nope
* Gotta keep it PG 13
* He wants to go slow after all. Or at least you think he does. But well, you thought he might want to be with Bella
* And that was wrong
* Ugh, you want to pull out your own hair. how easy would it be if he could just read your mind and let you know-
* No it doesn’t work like that
* You sigh
* You have to put the work in if you want to make this work
* You have to communicate
* You stir besides him, wiggling you hand out of his and tapping the hard muscle of his abs
* Ugh, of course he’s chiseled like a statue
* Wait you’re a vampire, you tap your own stomach. It feels like a hard slab
* Well damn
* “Hm?”
* “We need to talk”
* “About what?” He asks absentmindedly, eyes never straying from the television.
* He must really like Harry Potter.
* “About sex.”
* He shoots right up. The remote falling to the ground with a clatter
* “Ah sorry, let me get that” he mumbles, climbing out of the bed to pick up the remote and put the movie on pause
* He clears his throat, sitting on the edge of the bed, a whole 5 feet away from you
* “So what did you want to talk about, again?”
* He seems so awkward, maybe you were right, maybe he does want to go slow
* But then what was with that “I’m not waiting for marriage” crap?”
* “I want to be physically intimate with you” you say bluntly
* Why did you say it like that? Like you’re some kind of scientist or something?
* *internal cringe*
* Not that he seems to care
* Edward’s grinning
* “Are you seducing me right now?”
* You’re not sure why but that smile annoys you
* You scoff
* “I’m trying to find out where you’re at, sexually speaking”
* He looks at the ground for several long seconds before finally meeting your eyes
* “So I um-“
* Okay you’re finally getting somewhere
* “I guess I have this kink where I like being called-“
* “No Edward not that!”
* You’re a little annoyed,
* But also a little turned on
* You’ll have to put a pin in that,
* oh boy, Edward with a kink.
* It’s probably something super vanilla like a praise kink
* or something cheesy like a daddy kink
* Like what are you, sixteen-
* Well, he technically is but-
* You’re getting off track
* “Do you-“
* how do you say this?
* “Do you want to have sex with me?”
* And it would sound like your propositioning him if you hadn’t emphasized the ‘want’
* You know he’s on the asexuality spectrum, maybe he just doesn’t feel like that for you
* You know he loves you a lot
* And wether or not he wants to have sex won’t change the way you feel about him,
* But knowing will help you manage your expectations
* “Why...why would you think that I don’t?”
* He looks almost hurt as he says it
* “We’ve been dating for two months and you haven’t made a move”
* Not after he said that thing about ‘Not waiting for Marriage’™
* You feel his hand cover your own, he’s still a heathy distance away from you
* But even just the touch of his hand on yours sends a shiver down your spine
* “How could you ever think I don’t-“ he cuts himself off
* His free hand moves to cradle your face, brushing hair away in that way he’s always done
* You sigh leaning into his touch
* “You’re so beautiful...so lovely.. of course I want to be closer to you in whatever way I can” his words leave breathlessly, and you can see he wants you just as bad as you want him
* “Then why-“
* “You live in my house,” he stresses. “You’re surrounded by my family, who haven’t been very subtle with how pleased they would be for you to join the family. We are literally never away from each other”
* “Do you want me to move back to Denali?” You joke and he laughs, amber eyes warm as he looks into yours.
* “I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable... or suffocated.” He squeezes your hand
* “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to, for me.. or anyone else.”
* So he’s been trying to be considerate of you
* And of the living situation
* Isn’t that just so like him?
* You feel a small smile stretch across your lips, your hand threading into his hair
* “I don’t ever feel uncomfortable, not around you.”
* And it’s true, you trust him completely.
* You know he’ll never hurt you, never
* You foreheads are pressed together, and it’s only a small shift to catch his lips in your own
* Your hand escapes from his and trails to his face, your hands tipping his head back to get a better angle
* He feels so good like this
* He would feel so good underneath you, begging you to go just a little further
* “Now I’m propositioning you” you feel a small breathless chuckle escape him
* “There’s ... another reason I haven’t brought it up” he mumbles
* You hold your breath- he doesn’t have that bubbling desire does he?
* You were right, he-
* “If we did it in the house everyone would know”
* Huh?
* Noticing your confused expression he clarifies
* “Everyone would hear it happen, and everyone would know”
* Oh
* So all this times you’ve kissed-
* And that time in the car -
* Everyone knew?
* You groan covering your face in your hands, how will you ever be able to face Carlisle again?
* “Emmett would have bought us a cookie cake-“
* You raise an eyebrow and he falters
* “He would have bought me a cookie cake...it would say ‘bye bye virginity’ in pink icing” he whispers
* And you laugh
* “That’s so wasteful”
* No doubt Edward would be too embarrassed to let their humans friends eat it - which you don’t blame him for
* “Alright I’ll try to keep my dirty fantasies to a minimum” you laugh when he tugs you into his lap
* “Oh what kind of fantasies?” There’s that teasing boyish grin again
* “Please enlighten me”
* Well, it’s only right to tease him a little after all those hours you’ve spent mulling over what ‘I’m not waiting for marriage’ could mean
* “Well they all start off with a kiss, a good kiss, the kind that makes you feel like you’re just going to melt-“
* You rest your head against his shoulder, whispering into his ear
* “And then when it’s over, one of your hands is under my shirt,”
* you gently trace up his back and he shivers
* “and both of mine are under yours”
* “And then?” His voice is low, but he doesn’t dare to look at you
* You really shouldn’t tease him this much...
* but it’s so fun
* “We kiss again, my hands tracing over every inch of you, and when we stop I unbutton your shirt, trailing kisses down your neck”
* You trail a cold finger down the side of his neck
* He lets out a low sound, akin to a whine
* “And then I’ll suck here” your finger presses lightly into the hollow of his neck before repeating the process on his collarbone “and here”
* “You look so pretty with your neck marked up with hickeys, like poppy’s blooming in snow”
* You can tell he likes it by the shiver and whine
* So he likes that sensual shit huh
* You wonder what else he likes
* “And you look so pretty Edward, breathless, with that hungry needy look in your eyes just for me”
* Your hand trails down to his chest, and he trembles as your hand moves across his stomach. Resting on his lower abdomen
* His breath hitches, teeth digging into hi plush pink lip. He’s so needy, your finger trails in absentminded circles, and you swear he whimpers
* Aw so cute
* “And that’s about it” you say bluntly patting his stomach twice before moving to get off of him
* His eyes shoot open, a frown arching onto his mouth
* You hold back a laugh
* before you can fully get off of his lap he tugs you back to him
* “I see what you’re doing” he tried to pretend to be stern but you a smile twitching at the end of his lips
* “I don’t know what you mean. That’s just where the fantasy ends” you say as innocently as possible which only makes him grin
* “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been teasing you too much”
* “Hmm have you been?” You mock confusion and he laughs again, kissing the spot where your neck and shoulder meet
* “I’m sorry I got your hopes up”
* You scoff
* “My hopes weren’t up-“ Edward tilts your head towards him and you avert your eyes
* Okay they were a little high
* He pulls you into another kiss, soft and gentle
* “I promise I’ll make all your fantasies come true soon.”
* He already has, how many dreams that you never thought you would be able to have has he made come true?
* God, you adore this boy
* “But until then you’re going to have to leave”
* Scratch that
* “W-what?!”
* What did you do something to turn him off in the last .05 seconds?
* “It’s nothing personal-“
* You’re taking this very personally
* “I just need some time alone, and maybe a cold shower”
* Oh
* O H
* “R-right, well I’ll leave you to that” you mumble, clearing your throat as you move away from him, only briefly stopping on your way out
* “I’m going to take a few of these okay?” You say grabbing the other two Harry Potter movies
* You don’t wait for him to respond, leaving the room and heading to your own
* You run into Emmett who sends you a mischievous grin
* “Hey (Y/N), what were you-“
* “Nothing you would need to a buy a cookie cake for” you say, sliding into your room
* You look down at the DVD’s
* Why did you take these? You don’t even have a TV in your room
* Meanwhile Emmett’s still in the hallway
* “How did they know I was going to get him a cookie cake?”
* .
* ..
* ...
* You’re not sure where you are at first
* It’s foggy burst of green and brown
* And then you see him
* It’s Edward
* You breathe a sigh of relief moving towards him, as long as he’s here you’re okay
* “I’m sorry-“ you stop in your tracks
* there’s someone else there, clinging to his side
* “You were right- I do love her” He says and you’re confused
* The most faded and its Bella her wide brown eyes narrowed into a glare
* “Did you think you could just steal my future away from me?” She spats at you like her words are venom
* No- of course you never meant to take her place
* But you always hoped to- didn’t you?
* The intrusive voice causes a shiver to erupt down your spine
* You walk back, feet tangling into one another
* No that’s not right, Edward loves you- this isn’t right
* That’s when you bump into something hard- immovable
* You turn to see someone else entirely
* They’re wearing a black and red cloak
* Someone from the Volturi
* You gulp hard.
* So they’ve come for you have they
* The figure moves to remove the hood of their cloak, and you feel a gasp escape you.
* It’s you
* Only your face seems...sharper somehow, even more beautiful. But in an unnatural way, devoid of humanity
* Your eyes are as red as rubies
* You fall back, your foot getting caught in a tree root
* The Volturi-you sighs, crouching down so their impassive eyes can meet yours
* “You’ve really got to get over that whole timeline” their voice is different too, an air of disappointment ringing in every word. They sound bored
* You can’t manage to string together a single thought, let alone any words
* “Well don’t look so scared. I’m here to help you know” but their smile is cruel
* “Unless you can snap out of that lovesick dream of yours and finish what you started, this is the future that’s waiting for you”
* “That’s not true”
* Carlisle saved you, Eleazer took you in, Edward gave you a new future.
* You’re never going back to the Volturi
* But the you clad in the black and red robe’s smile only grows wider
* “It’s not true for now, but how many more years do you think you can handle until you get bored?”
* “Another 20? Let’s say 50 for good measure- then what?”
* You feel like a cold finger runs down your spine, your hair standing on end
* “I think you know exactly what” the cloaked you says, their eyes are serious now as they look at you
* “You need to finish what you started-“
* Finish what? What are they talking about? What did you start?
* Noticing your confusion they sigh
* “You need to stop focusing so much on what happened in the story, and start thinking about what happened after the story”
* After the story?
* Like after Edward and Bella had Their baby?
* “Now wake up”
* The words echo in your head until you fly upright, breathing hard as you take in the space around you
* For a second you’re not sure where you are
* This is your room, at the Cullen’s house in Forks
* You’re fine
* You’re safe
* You try to regulate your breathing, attempting to calm your mind with it
* It was just a nightmare. Not that you ever remember falling asleep to begin with
* “I didn’t think I could fall asleep anymore” you whisper
* You pretend to sleep, because it feels good. But you’ve never lost yourself like that before
* It felt so real
* “Finish what I started? And then after the story-“ You feel the hair on the back of your neck stand on end
* There was something- something you had tried a long, long time ago-
* Back when you still lived in Denali
* An idea you had come across once- after Edward told you how painful it was for him to turn
* But how would you even go about proving something like that?
* And what’s what might have happened after the book series got to do with any of this?
* You sigh, your head in your arms. It was just a dream wasn’t it? A nightmare from your insecurities?
* If you just whispered his name, Edward would be beside you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, erasing all your worries
* “ Unless you can snap out of that lovesick dream of yours and finish what you started, this is the future that’s waiting for you”
* You gulp
* You don’t need Edward to coddle you through every little nightmare, you decide
* Turning in your bed, closing you eyes and hoping to dream a more pleasant dream this time But you don’t dream at all, tossing and turning until light filters in through the blinds
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