#to anyone looking for a new griddlehark series

[uisceb]

Pairing: Harrowhark Nonagesimus/Gideon Nav

Rated: E

Word Count: 124, 464

Status: Complete

In the aftermath of God’s death, Harrow and Gideon trip and tumble their way through what it means to be on the “lovers” side of “enemies to lovers” while facing the uncertainties of a universe with no God, and a House on the brink of extinction.

Featuring: nuns losing their religion (and finding new ways to worship), chainsaw-armed skeletons, smut, religiosity, more smut, Third House birthday shenanigans, power dynamics, Serious Discussions about the merits of tentacle porn, a smorgasbord of bad puns, and if you can believe it, even more smut.

This is a continuation of She Puts the Fun in Funeral but can easily be read as a stand-alone.

Both fics can be read here

Enjoy <3

[frontlinebicepsoftheninth]

I saw you tagged killing eve in the 'worst series finale' poll - how *does* it end? I watched the first two seasons and then lost interest. (also I hope you're having a good day!)

first of all thank you i am and i hope you are too!!

but alright here we go ⚠️⚠️ MAJOR SPOILER WARNING MAJOR SPOILER WARNING ⚠️⚠️ for anyone who does want to watch for themselves bc tbh the first few seasons are excellent but i honestly don't know if i can recommend them anymore in good faith after knowing where it all ends up

so okay. you know how the whole crux of the show is this intense psychosexual relationship between eve and villanelle. and how there's an obvious romantic tension between them. well from what i remember (cause it's been a while) they started actually working together in season 3, but then because they realized they make each other worse they had this whole dramatic moment where they walked away from each other on a bridge and weren't supposed to look back but of course they both did turn around at the last second and then the season ends.

flash forward to season 4 and you can tell time has passed and they aren't working together and it's implied there was some big falling out and we have no idea what it is. eve is just annoyed and done with villanelle and villanelle is like trying to prove she's not a bad person and goes to church and stuff and actually that plot was extremely hilarious and she imagined up a drag jesus version of herself for advice and they were acting like exes and it was playing into the whole comedic surrealism aspect of the show really well. but after the first few episodes it just kinda fell apart like i just remember feeling lost all season and not understanding where we were going and this is definitely due to the changing showrunners (they should have just kept pwb for the whole thing!!!!) but they kept adding new characters out of nowhere, some of which were really well done but then we were following plots that were thrown in randomly and it was just a bit of a mess.

but eventually by the LITERAL SERIES FINALE eve and villanelle have both given in to the fact that they enjoy being in each other's company as the worst versions of themselves (which is honestly such a fun direction to go that i really enjoyed especially for a sapphic pairing). and after they've been apart for a vast majority of the season finally they have this good banter going and it's all domestic and then there's a scene where they're walking down an empty road together and this romantic music comes in. and they finally literally actually have The Moment. like they had kissed before in the previous season but not in an explicitly romantic way, they were physically fighting each other on a public bus and eve kissed villanelle to throw her off before headbutting her (SO GRIDDLEHARK OF THEM THAT SCENE IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD) anyways. villanelle kisses eve on the cheek and then eve stares at her and grabs her and they make out for a solid FORTY-FIVE SECONDS. it was so intense and they're kissing as they're stumbling down the road and they run back to the camper van they were travelling in and it's for sure implied that they have sex in there. so everyone was like oh my fucking god they actually did it. like this is where the show was always going, it's a whole I Can Make You Worse thing where both people were like "fuck it i'll be worse then" and gave in to the tension that had been building for years not just within the plot but FOR VIEWERS SINCE 2018.

so i don't exactly remember what happens next but the whole season they've been trying to kill The Twelve which was the assassin group in charge of villanelle, and we find out carolyn was a founding member actually, and i will be honest that plot was always confusing to me but iirc she wasn't with them anymore. so eve and villanelle infiltrate this wedding party boat that's a cover for a meeting of The Twelve (this is like the last 10 minutes of the show now) and they kiss again and there's a scene where it's like they're indirectly talking to each other through the wedding speech that eve somehow ends up giving and that's so romantic too and then villanelle slinks off, finds the meeting, and murders everyone. so yay the protagonists are together finally and villanelle killed her abusers and they are finally in happy gay love. then out of fucking nowhere as they're standing outside on the boat villanelle starts to get shot at. (this is literally the last five minutes of the entire show now) and she falls into the river or maybe jumps in to get away i don't remember and she's still getting shot and eve is swimming to try to catch her. and it's all this dramatic slow-mo beautifully shot stuff that's like horrible in context cause the blood is blooming in the water and eve can't reach villanelle and they do a whole creation of adam hand reach before villanelle slips into the depths.

so literally eve had just thrown away any chance at a normal life to embrace the side of her that loves violence and loves villanelle so they could spend the rest of their life together and that was such a slay. and then she loses villanelle which like, if they wanted a tragic ending it would have been kinder to kill them both, it's so much fucking worse to leave eve spending the rest of her life mourning the one person who understood her and let her give in to her carnal desires. and it is directly after letting the two queer characters finally achieve happiness that one of them is killed off which is the DEFINITION of the bury your gays/dead lesbian syndrome tropes, there have been literal academic papers written on how the phenomenon is like a punishment for queer joy etc etc. this shit has been in the discourse for decades and they fell dead center into the trope which is just so disappointing because at the start ke was such a unique story and one of the first mainstream shows that embraced morally gray queer characters in a way that wasn't homophobic.

oh! and guess who shot villanelle? carolyn!!!! and it was still NEVER CLEAR WHY! she worked for MI6 now so it being in revenge of The Twelve didn't really add up, some people thought she wanted to kill villanelle as like a prize for MI6, it was kind of implied that konstantin told her in this note he spent his last breaths writing (yeah he also died which was the saddest tbh) that villanelle had killed carolyn's son kenny (this was a major plot point of season 3 and carolyn was trying to get revenge, he fell off a building under mysterious circumstances) but that made no sense because it was implied to be konstantin since he was on the roof with kenny and also villanelle was literally in fucking spain or something the episode when it happened.

like i get it. this is a tragic show. people die every episode. but from a writing standpoint it makes absolutely zero fucking sense to kill off one of the two main characters of your show, in the last five minutes of the show, after finally cashing in on your flagship queer romance between them, and leaving the motivation for killing her completely ambiguous.

anyways i'm so sorry that ended up this long jesus christ but tldr: killing eve ends in the worst bury your gays i have ever seen after a season that didn't even have good plot or pacing

[acephysicskarkat]

Hello, saw some of your anti c//a that mention how you think c//a is a bad enemies-to-lovers ship while griddlehark is a good one, and may i ask how that is? Genuine question, because i don’t like c//a, and i’m neutral on griddlehark (mainly because I don’t know much atm), from what i’ve seen/heard, it seems like it’s a lot more toxic of a dynamic than c//a is initially/pre canon? Again not trying to bait, am gen curious /genuine

This is going to be kind of disjointed, and I apologise, but this is kind of a topic that defies a simple summary.

Bear in mind that ahead be big Locked Tomb spoilers and the SP0P spoilers that basically everyone already knows.

I would say that the two critical differences are 1) the handling of the toxicity within the narrative, and 2) the structure and arrangement of the toxicity.

You are absolutely correct that pre-canon Griddlehark's mutual hatred is a toxic dynamic. They initially detest each other with a passion; one of the main plot points driving the entire series is a young Harrow having Gideon's blood under her nails after a fight.

As Gideon and Harrowhark work together, however - and here is the point where 100% of bad enemies-to-lovers arcs crash and burn - the toxicity goes down. It never becomes totally healthy - indeed, post-GtN Harrow invents an entirely new way to have an unhealthy relationship, involving performing brain surgery on herself at 17 - but the majority of the narrative is spent showing them moving from "would piss on the other's grave given the chance" to a mutually tolerated working relationship, to a growing loyalty, to the pool scene where Harrow shows Gideon more honesty and trust than she's had from anyone in her life. A lot of what makes this work is pacing and structure; every new step works because it's building on the previous ones, none of them feeling jarringly fast or unmotivated.

More than that, a big help is that the toxicity feels intentional. The relationship being Kinda Fucked is a 100% intentional thing that I'm pretty sure I've seen Tamsyn Muir talking about in interviews. It's a narrative element that Muir is monitoring and adjusting with the care of a good zookeeper trying to keep the humidity in the reptile enclosure exactly right.

(I genuinely cannot praise the writing in these books enough.)

Turning to SP0P as a contrast, its relationship has a more understated toxicity, but a much more pervasive one. Young Adora and C*tra weren't clawing at each other's faces whenever left unsupervised, but young C*tra sure did claw at Adora's face for wanting to have more than one friend! It's not the PVP arena of Growing Up Griddlehark, but "you are my friend, therefore your needs are subordinate to mine" is still far from a healthy dynamic, and the narrative never addresses it.

The bigger problem, though, is that the toxicity doesn't so much "go down" as trace out a parabola. The entire first half of the narrative shows the toxicity going up sharply, to the point of C*tra being willing to die just to make Adora miserable, then it hovers there for another quarter, and then it returns to an earlier level of toxicity. S5 C*tra's treatment of Adora stays awful. She spends "Taking Control" throwing a tantrum over how the real problem is Adora and the others being mad at her; she portrays herself as the wounded party in her like four separate murder attempts on Adora in "An Ill Wind" to produce the worst line of the show; she continues throwing tantrums whenever she doesn't get what she wants and making everything about herself right up to the love confession, including that confession ("stay with me, the person who spent four seasons refusing to stay with you!"). It feels bizarre that Adora goes from "even if you're my best friend, I won't let you blame me for shit that isn't my fault" in S4 to doing nothing but looking sad when C*tra portrays her as being in the wrong for not just meekly standing by while C*tra burned down her home and murdered her friends.

And - and I'll acknowledge that a big part of this is probably executive fuckery, I just don't think that really matters - the pacing and structure absolutely are not helping. I could buy S5's sudden reversal if C*tra and Adora had had a fun, weightless enmity where there was an obvious respect between them. They don't. C*tra spends a truly distressing amount of time utterly consumed by the desire to cause Adora as much pain as possible, to the point of attempting a murder-suicide on the entire world. No point in S2-S4 shows a C*tra who Can't Bring Herself to Really Hurt Adora, regardless of the things the stans have convinced themselves they saw; she's so totally driven by spite that she tears her own life to shreds in the hope Adora will be caught up in the edges. The relationship has to do a sudden R*ylo swerve rather than building on what's gone before because "what's gone before" is like three plot points in the first season that have been narratively overwhelmed by C*tra's multiseason campaign of cruelty like a single pea being weighed against the USS Nimitz.

This is where intentionality comes into play. The toxicity in c/a is just there. For all the bullshit about C*tra's story being about what happens when you're the toxic friend, it doesn't feel like an intentional narrative element that is seriously being examined; it feels like a writing fuck-up where C*tra was supposed to feel like way less of a stalker asshole.

Anyway, I hope this has made some vague semblance of sense, but I've been at this for like an hour and I'm tired and I need to go check on a craft project.

[beautyofsorrow]

🍓🛼🥤(<- doesnt have to be fic author)🍬

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

grew out of the "cosplaying the battle of helm's deep in the woods with my friends" phase of liking lotr and into the "reading everyone's weird arwen vs eowyn wars as posted on blogspot in the 2000s" phase and decided to write my own massively detailed eowyn backstory as a sort of defense of her character, ended up getting mired in trying to teach myself old english for some godforsaken reason and never finished (as one does), mentioned the failed project to a new friend who had much more life experience than me and she was like, ah yes, fanfiction, and i was like, wait, what, i'm not inventing the wheel here, this is a THING? then i found FFN, made an account, got incredibly maudlin about jadzia dax on main, and left a bunch of embarrassing comments like "this would have been better if you didn't use any curse words" because i was a baby very much mired in my fundamentalist upbringing who didn't know how to stfu and click away. anyway this is a formal apology to anyone who knew me back then, i really hope you're not still here but if you are i know how to curse now and also i write porn. peace and love and character growth.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

why do i always reblog these ask memes when all i'm working on is exchange pieces

anyway [flips through personal projects languishing in the corner of my brain] b7 griddlehark au chapter 3: 👕🖕🏾👀☕🥞

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

i was just gifted theeeeeeeeeeeee most incredible creepy mermaid comic for fffx. just absolutely spectacular vibes. it's still on anon for another week or so but i'm in awe and so so thankful to my creator for looking directly into my id and translating it onto the page.

& because i have not talked about books enough lately, here are some evergreen author recs: becky chambers (cozy queer space opera), kate dicamillo (middle grade fiction that will change the landscape of your brain) (don't skip her younger books tho) (the tales from deckawoo drive series made my honorable mentions list last year for favorite reads), ann patchett (beloved), lucille clifton (BELOVED), and stephen graham jones (because in my heart of hearts i fucking love a good slasher)

[cowbutch-chastity]

FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

"FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

Post recommendations for your ten favourite fanfics and tag the authors if possible. Tell us what you like about their work.

Tag five people of your choice to do the meme too."

I was tagged by both @heroinejinx and @ghostofyaz 

Since I like so many ships I’m going to separate them by ship and do a few for each one (ending up with 12 fics total), tagging the authors mentioned if I can find their Tumblr (If anyone knows the ones I couldn’t find, lemme know)

Warning: a large portion of these are NSFW and general TWs on the appropriate ones

LIGHTCANNON 

- A Tasty Progress Day by @booking-and-blogging This fic is part of Elfen’s Growth not Pain series, and I unfortunately have not had the chance to read the other fics in the series, however you should also read Non Linear Growth, as this fic is part of that story. This is a great piece of smut that contains a lot of good humor and a very unique take on Lux that I greatly enjoy. Easily my favorite Lightcannon piece I’ve read. The prose is wonderful, the emotions are real, give this fic and it’s predecessors a read.

- The Saga of Lightcannon by @cannibalelf This fic by Cannibal is a monster of a wonderful AU, I remember the day on the Lightcannon discord when the idea for a Norse mythology AU was proposed, and Cannibal delivered it guns blazing. The prose is beautiful, the action is thrilling, this interesting take on Lightcannon is a must read if you want to see Jinx beat the shit out of some monsters with a big ol Axe while Valkyrie Lux watches her very gayly. (TW for extreme violence)

MOICY 

- Biological Imperative by @redundantharpoons I believe that this piece is THE quintessential Moicy work. It follows a slight AU that allows Moira and Angela to interact without world ending dangerous and being on opposite sides, and features a wonderful story exploring the way these two interact, and how the prepare to raise a child together. A fantastic work with some lovely sex scenes that made me cry more than once. (TW for many upsetting things in general)

- Ethical Healing by @idle-lark Lark just gets Moira as a character I think, and even though this fic is from the perspective of Angela, it does a wonderful job exploring her and the gray morality that comes with her. Lark’s dialogue is to die for, and watching Angela and Moira slowly struggle with their mutual attraction and what their relationship would mean for their work is wonderful, I’m constantly gripping my chair waiting for the next chapter. Also Moira has a dog named Darwin, and I would die for him.

GRIDDLEHARK

- sting of a wasp by @griddleshark and @thalergetic I’m a sucker for modern AU’s and this fic is probably one of the best in terms of Griddlehark. Gideon and Harrow are very believable characters, they struggle with communication despite their intense want for each other, and the way this fic is written allows you to really experience that. It’s hot, it’s fun, it has jealous and stone butch Gideon and lamp shopping and I love it.

-  Holy Cross, Alaska by softieghost This series is another interesting look at Modern AU Griddlehark, but with the fun kick of putting the two together in a cabin for three months and seeing what happens, and then exploring the depths of their new kinship afterwards in a cross country road trip. The first fic is very emotionally impactful, and does a good job of depicting a character who’s experiencing a psychotic break, as well how Gideon does her best to support Harrow and get her the help she needs. (TW for many upsetting things in general)

CAMPAL

- this time we're done for by @darlingofdots This fic changed my brain chemistry 8 times over, the AU takes Camilla and Palamedes and puts them in the Cohort together as Captain and Physician, and lets the inherent eroticism of nursing someone’s wounds do the rest. Seriously this is some of the best sexual tension I’ve ever read, the little flirts the two give each other while Camilla is fucking bleeding out is fantastic, and then navigating their relationship after finally coming together is utterly stunning. PLEASE read this fic. (TW for extreme violence)

- insatiable is what she is by @palamedes-sextus Honestly it was kind of hard to choose from Necropal’s wonderful selection of works, but I believe this one is my favorite. It’s a post Nona AU where Cam and Pal finally get a bit of domestic bliss, enjoy it, and the have wonderful sex. The smut is lovely, the feelings are very well written, the prose and dialogue are lovely, go give this fic a read. And while you’re at it check out the rest of Necropal’s works.

SYLVAINA

- Last Resort by @sniperct Boy, this one is a fucking doozy. A political marriage AU for Jaina and Sylvanas that initially sets them as brutal enemies, and then explores how hatred and pain can blossom desire, which becomes a needy and strong love. It asks a lot of interesting and challenging questions regarding the ethics of undead in WOW, and how a relationship can change and grow overtime. I have not had the chance to read it’s sequel yet, but if the writing is anywhere near the same quality I’m sure sniperct did a wonderful job with it.

- Chainmaker by @calchexxis A lich queen Jaina AU that sets up a wonderful “Queen/Knight” aesthetic between Jaina and Sylvanas. This fic has an awesome plot with a lot of unique and fun side characters, wonderful fight scenes, great sex scenes, and a really interesting look again at Undead in wow. Cal’s prose is fantastic as is the case with all of their work, and you should certainly give this fic a read.

SHIARA 

- Resolve by Talaraine Resolve is probably my favorite post destroy ending fic in the Mass Effect fandom. It’s a really cool delve into Shepard and Liara when they are apart from each other, as well as their relationship to other members of the ME cast. It has some great action scene’s a lot of plot and mystery, and a lot of gay yearning/pining. (TW for some upsetting things)

- Death and the Healing by @thewriterinthebatcave with art by @shipsnthenight another awesome post destroy ending fic that takes a slightly different take on Shepard and Liara. What I really love about this fic is how they explore Shepard not as a war hero or a savior or a soldier, but as a person who has been absolutely broken by the awful things they have seen. The fic previous in the series, Comatose With Common Sense, has my favorite character study of Shepard from any fic I’ve read. And all of the art included is lovely. (TW for many upsetting things, mind the author’s TWs as well)

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms