#to all these answers which I'm so irritated at myself for but I can't fix it OTL

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

for the 'why wouldn't date them'

charles, hawkeye, trapper

and i think you might be into twin peaks? if so, dale cooper and donna hayward

whichever ones you want to do :)

Ahhhhhh omg thank you for all of these I want to do them ALL but let's go backwards.

Donna Hayward

Ok so the thing is I AM into Twin Peaks but it's been a while since I've seen it and I tried to watch The Return but I was too stupit to understand much less enjoy it :( sowwy. So I would be dating my own flawed incomplete interpretation of a person, really. Typical Twin Peaks. 

Anyways I love Donna! I think we have similar personalities and stuff. In all brutal honesty I think if I were in her situation with a friend like Laura I’d have done similar things. Also yeah maybe her actions did lead a man to suicide but that was NOT her fault. I think the only three things that would prevent an attempt at a relationship here are 

1) The obvious. Her taste in men = atrocious. In all the rest of these hypotheticals where the character is already canonically in a relationship or has feelings for another character I’m just like yeah the more the merrier but if Donna insists on inviting her insufferable ass boyfriend into the mix I could NOT fucking do it I’m sorry. 

2) This girl is not ready for a relationship yet after All That god damn. But then again neither am I so maybe that balances out. We would need to spend some time as support group buddies just hugging and crying a lot before even considering a date. 

3) It is unlikely we would ever interact as I am never setting foot in that town ever in my life are you kidding me. Donna is super pretty in both her incarnations but I’m sorry I don’t think any pussy pops severely enough for me to risk going to fucking doorknob hell or some shit.

Dale Cooper

Ignore everything I said in that last paragraph. I change my mind. I forgot my beautiful autism creature husband is here. I would risk it all for a date with Dale Cooper and so would all who know and perceive the truth. AND he’s got two hot girlfriends with him at least one of whom is ALSO an autism creature??? Sign me the FUCK up for this polycule IMMEDIATELY. “Oh but OP what about the horrors” I don’t even fucking care it’s fine. Dale can have little an evil doppelganger. As a treat.

Still there are some problems:

1) Dale is an FBI agent and Harry is a cop. Booooooo!!!! But maybe if Annie and Caroline and I unionize we can force them to quit their jobs. 

2) Unclear if I would be forced to join the Black Lodge Horror Vision Rotation along with Annie and Caroline. Boring and time consuming task and unlike Laura you don’t even get to do a Big Scream.

3) I personally actually don’t like pie or coffee at all :( I’m sorry babygirl I understand if this is a deal breaker. 

Trapper McIntyre 

You know that “golden retriever boyfriend” joke? Trapper is like THE golden retriever boyfriend to me. Which I mean as an absolute compliment! Golden retrievers are friendly, helpful, adorable, lovable dogs. I am always up to pet a golden retriever.

But the thing is, I would never get one myself. They’re just a bit too big, bit too much energy, bit too messy, and anyways I prefer cats. No hate, no judgment, just a series of tiny preferences. Not into jocks, not into casual no-strings-attached type relationships, not super into kids, you know how it is. Boring and petty answer but I just feel like this adorable happy-go-lucky goldie deserves the PERFECT forever home and obviously he’s one of the most popular of all the dogs at the Mashblr shelter so I know he’ll get adopted super fast. So I can turn my attention to the miserable ass overbred old cat in the corner <3

Hawkeye Pierce

Oh, Hawkeye. I just don’t think so. Idk what’s wrong with me but I have to work to see Hawkeye as like. A dateable entity in my mind. He’s our little scrunkly! It’d be weird to date a scrunkly. BUT maybe I’ve just been overexposed to him purely by dint of being in the fandom he’s the main character of, because objectively I DO find Mr. Alda’s portrayal of him in certain scenes to be Attractive (TM), and seeing clips of his charisma and charm and humor and all that good handsome stuff is literally what got me to check out the show in the first place! Man. What happened. Hmm. 

I think one issue is that scenes where he’s explicitly trying to be Romantic and/or Seductive have just never done it for me. Like comparing Hawkeye’s lovey scenes with Kyung Soon to Charles’ with Martine, there’s no contest in how they make me feel. To me, Hawkeye is honestly at his most appealing when he’s radiating Friend Energy, which is why his casual relationships actually work really well IMO; you feel like he’s truly a great pal to the nurses he hooks up with. This is also, I think, one of Piercintyre’s great strengths as a ship, because Hawkeye and Trapper both have amazing Friend Energy and then their natural compatibility makes that bleed seamlessly into sweet romantic vibes. And to be clear I would LOVE to be in a Friends To Lovers relationship too but unfortunately I am cringely obsessed with loveydovey romance in a way I’m not sure Hawkeye is even capable of. Plus there’s also just the fact that I’m a shy waiting til marriage person and I suck at banter and yeah it’s just not working. In conclusion neither Hawkeye nor Trapper should date me they should date each other!! But we knew that :P

THAT CUNT

There are 10000000 reasons not to date Charles. But I will be doing it anyways ^_^ Peace and love on planet earth <3

Anyways I’m not bringing up his Problematicness as a reason here because I didn’t bring it up for anyone else and nobody noticed, so why should it be any different with him. Like no obviously I would not date this dumbfuck racist but I also would not date a guy who thinks it’s a funny prank to make a woman think she’s being sexually assaulted. I also for that matter would not date a guy who works with the dumbfuck racist and is like aw, ya know what, he’s not that bad really :) the second they have a chance to have a bonding moment. I guess I have decided to be a buzzkill about that forever now btw sorry :( oh well 

But ok no real talk I would Not date Charles unless one very specific condition is met, which is that I have whatever magic stardust they sprinkled on his single-episode love interests before they put them in the story that made him be utterly besotted with them, because more than any other character on the show, it seems, the difference between Regular Charles and Charles In Love is so hysterically huge??? Like fuck. My dudes. We’ve done it. We found the one villain who actually does do a complete 180 and starts trying to act right as soon as a girl takes pity on him enough to look at him twice. (Disclaimer: I haven’t seen Ain’t Love Grand yet I’m sorryyyyyyyy) He’s so ~romantic~ and it’s like catnip to me unfortunately. :\ The total opposite of what I said about Hawkeye up there. Offers a girl his stupid little teacup and recites poetry at her. Unbelievable. Did anyone ever think about the fact that maybe I would like to be offered a teacup and recited poetry at. No. You all only think about yourselves.  

Like even though objectively the way he nukes his relationship with Martine was hurtful to both of them, he’s so Tender the whole time it’s insane. She turned him into her pauvre petit miaou miaou overnight. I want that power so fucking bad I NEED that power so fucking bad. Say it with me everyone. I Could Fix Him. (”But OP Martine and Donna DIDN’T fix him he still left them both and never mentioned them again?” Yes but don’t worry they were just loosening the lid on his jar a little bit. I’ll get him open you’ll see. He’s gonna be soooo well trained when I’m done I’ll make him apologize to Maxwell and everything. He won’t even need the shock collar after a few weeks.)

But yeah if I have to like, try to appeal to him on my own it’s not fucking happening. I have no desire to hear the equivalent of a DOS deepfake hologram that has become evil due to being trained on text scraped from youtube comments tell me I’m ugly and stupid, which is exactly what would happen. Up til now I’ve sidestepped the issue that I do not think any of these people would give me the time of day (except Maxwell who would take pity on me probably because he is sososo Good) but I cannot ignore how much Charles just would Not like me. I don’t know how the selfshipper community does it they’re braver than any fucking US marine over there fr. Charles would look at me like I was a gross little bug on the ground and I can’t escape it. Oh well. Who needs him. Where’s your sister you dipshit I’m about to GET IT

[lovelykil]

「 VAMP 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; none

note; playboi carti reference

[requested]

the need for blood overdrives his system

he can't help but feel the urge to roam the streets for a victim to sink his sharp fangs in.

The mere thought of finding a nice, healthy, and helpless human makes his stomach twists with hunger and impatience.

He licks his lips and bites down as he steps outside his mysterious home. His red, blood thirsty, hungry eyes peer down on the town of South Park. Scanning for his prey.

The darkness falls all around him during the night as he watches, carefully. The moon shone brightly for the roaming people in their costumes. Some witches, some zombies, some even absurd characters such as vampires as himself.

Kyle rolled his eyes to the site, frowning.

"The nerve.." the boy breathed with annoyance. His eyes scattered some more till his ruby gems landed on one specific person.

A girl looking into the dark night, appearing as lonesome as one teen girl could be. His brows rose with suspension then thought for a moment.

His stomach rumbled with each given second, making him wince and make a final decision.

With no hesitation the teen fixed his red locs before jumping off the balcony of his estate and turning into a small black creature, flying into the night to catch his dinner.

...

"Wow, that sounds so fun Wendy I'm–"

"Yeah!! Everyone showed up, well except for Heidi I'm not sure where she's at.."

"Oh Heidi? That's a relief I thought I was gonna be the only on-"

"Oh, never mind she just came through the door. And.. oh no, with Eric? Oh god." Wendy's voice fell through the phone as I held it to my ear. I sighed with an eye roll.

"So everyone is there?" I asked, coming off a little irritated.

"Yeah, well except for you Y/n." She answered, being brought back in the conversation. I rubbed my face and shook my head.

"Damn it."

"I'm sorry you couldn't come, I'm sure you would've looked so good in your costumes at the party."

"Mmmh, yeah." I turned my head to look at my bed with the lying costume I was supposed to wear, feeling a frown tug on my face. I looked back at the window and put my hand up to it.

"My stupid parents." My hands formed a fist as I hit the window with slight force.

"Maybe next time?" Wendy spoke, trying to cheer me up. Key word trying.

My hand slid against the cold surface, I watched kids walk around having fun, making sweet memories with each other while I was here in my room like a fucking loser.

Their little baskets full of candy swung to the sides of them as their parent walked them along the sidewalks.

"Yeah okay Wendy, bye."

"Wait are you ma-"

beep.

I threw my phone over to my bed, groaned, and leaned my head onto the window before pulling away shaking my head.

"This is so lame," I whispered to myself. I remained staring at the people dressed up in their costumes, rating them out of boredom.

Maybe this would help.

"Clowns? Solid 7 maybe a 6."

My eyes scattered.

"Batman? Ten for sure." I laughed to myself.

"ohh, is that a couple? Sally and Jack?" My eyes sparkled with a smile, clasping my hands together.

"A fucking zero," My smile fell, feeling the jealousy flow throughout my body. I rolled my eyes, lifted my window and stuck outside of it to shout.

"HEY YOU TWO!" I yelled down. The pair stopped in their tracks from the sudden yell to look around them, puzzled.

"YEAH YOU TWO UP HERE" they both looked up, still confused as ever.

I put my hand down and smiled.

"I saw your boyfriend chat it up with Emily over there." I pointed over to another girl behind them just a few meters from them. The girl looked over at her boyfriend demanding an explanation.

"You were talking to THAT dead girl?" She fussed, to which the guy took offense to.

"But you're dead too."

"YEAH WELL, I'M YOUR DEAD GIRL. I AM NOT THE OTHER DEAD WOMAN!" She screamed, pushing him away to run off. He reached out for her in shock.

"Wait Vanessa!"

"Fuck you Josh!"

I watched as the two ran after each other feeling a sinister smile grow on my face. I sighed in content, leaning away from my window to get up and stretch.

"God I hate couples." I snickered, tugging on my shirt. The only reason why I despise them was because I couldn't get into a relationship myself.

It wasn't fair how everyone had their special someone yet my special someone was chocolate and my bed.

Chocolate and MY BED.

ugh.

I pulled the fabric over my head and onto the ground with the other piles of clothes I had lying around my floor, my fingers ran across my hanging shirts to try to find the right one.

I usually wear a specific shirt for bed but it wasn't in my closet from the looks of it.

"shit.." I cursed, bending down to look at the ground in just my bra and pajama pants. I groaned reaching for shirts to only grab the wrong one and throw it else where.

"Holy shit where are you??" My brows furrowed, attempting to find my shirt. After a couple of wrong shirts I finally found the right one and stood back up with a smile.

I turned around to walk to my bed.

"omg I thought I lost-" Just inches away from me stood a tall figure in black in front of me, all I could see were dark red ruby eyes that stared right into my soul.

My skin ran cold, eyes grew wide and my heart..

dropped.

"You.." I finished. Swallowing down on the last of my saliva that made my mouth moist.

I stared up at the red eyes and blinked, I dropped my shirt, stunned.

"Holy shit."

The figure stopped closer to me to reveal itself, soon I could make out.. almost like human features.

The first thing I noticed was red curly hair dangled infront of this.. guys face.

Skin pale white as snow when you looked at him. His eyes had a red creepy glow to it as he looked down at me from his height, making me feel so small.

Freckles peppered along his face and fangs?

very.. sharp ones.

Also a red emulate necklace?

wait wait I think we're missing the real big thing here.

This thing is a GUY.

He is a GUY

A really.. cute one.

...I have no shirt on.

aannd that's when I finally screamed.

"Who the HELL ARE YOU-?!" I shouted, moving past him to run over to my bed and grab my phone.

My initial reaction was to first grab my SHIRT, but I guess my brain didn't want to work with my body.

I stumbled trying to reach for my phone while keeping my eyes on him, hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid.

He didn't say anything but stood there, looking at me. Once I finally grabbed my phone I smiled gratefully as I went to dial the police.

"Okay man fuck you you're going to.. wait how'd the fuck did you even.." I set my phone down realizing my window was nowhere near the ground but in fact very high with no trees around and surely no human being would be able to even climb inside.

My head left the window to look back at where the guy stood but to my surprise he wasn't there anymore.

"Oh fuck." Just before I could react I was pushed back into my pillows, my wrists nailed to the sides of me, and a hovering person ontop of me.

I squirmed around trying to break loose of his grip but god was he strong.

My eyes closed shut as I attempted some more to wiggle my way out but the more I struggled the tighter he held my wrist just causing me to wince in pain.

"Please.. don't struggle anymore, it will be quick I promise.." A soft voice spoke, he sounded weak.. struggling himself almost.

My eyes opened in shock by his voice, he was on top of me, battling me but I could tell he was going to maybe faint soon. His scary red-looking eyes had a soft look to them now as he trembled, I could see those fangs again they grew in length almost longer than before.

The window.. his eyes.. teeth, even skin.

oh my god was this asshole a vampire?

Yeah okay.. vampires? Please.

"Dude get off of me!" I gritted my teeth and used most of my energy to finally push him off me, he was growing weak already so it was easy for him to get up and away from me.

I crawled away more into my pillows like a scared kid, my chest rose and fell fast trying to catch my breath and this whole situation.

He stared at me as I stared back at him, he grew weak by the second just looking at him.. I saw his hand cover his stomach in pain as he groaned.

I caught my breath just moments later watching this guy in pain, for a second after I caught my breath and stopped my thoughts I felt.. bad.

"What.. what are you?" I blurted out, looking over at him.

He whimpered quietly, with his hand still on his stomach. I felt my stomach twist.

"What.. does it look like?" He answered, trying to stand up still but falling ultimately from his weak state.

My eyes traveled around then back at him.

"A rapist." In a sarcastic tone I stated. I folded my arms.

He looked at me to shake his head, "What? No. I just want your blood, I'm a vampire."

"A vampire?" I rose my brow.

He nodded though closed his eyes in pain. I noticed that weird necklace was losing its color all of a sudden.

I looked at him then down at my hands, trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

Vampires?? Are you serious? Does he think I'm gullible or something? Then again it would explain those red eyes and how he got way up here from my window..

What am I even saying? This insane. Vampires aren't real.

Or maybe they are? Whys he in so much pain? Does he really just need blood??

Oh god

I rubbed my eyes, feeling myself about to go insane. I let my eyes rest after a few seconds and sighed.

This is south park I mean this isn't the first crazy thing to happen here or see.

"Alright man just.. I don't know do what you need." I crawled my way back to him and sat on my bed. I looked down about to take off my shirt but I realized I had nothing on to begin with.

My face flushed in embarrassment, I just looked away.

I could hear him groan once more but stop, he stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders.

Man those hands were dead fucking cold. I jumped.

"God your hands!" I pulled away in shock. He panicked, pulling his hand away.

"Sorry I'm.. really hungry." The vampire muttered, staring at my neck like a prize. I rolled my eyes but tilted my head nonetheless.

"Just do it already.." I pointed to my neck, looking away. I set my hand down on my bed, waiting for him.

I have no idea why or what the hell I was doing but this was kinda exciting than just watching people walk around the neighborhood.

"Oh god you are an angel." His hungry, trembling voice sent a shiver down my spine, I gulped and shifted in my spot.

He set his hands on me once again, I cringed slightly but let him do so. He laid me down on my bed, climbing over me.

My eyes grew wide again, I covered my neck in confusion.

"Why'd you lay me down? Making it sexual or something?" I laughed with sarcasm, but a little on edge at the same time.

His cold fingers made contact with my face as he chuckled softly.

"Oh sweetheart, I would never have sex with you. With a human? I'm not crazy." His smile along with his gentle caress on my cheek left me distraught by his response. I swatted his hand away from my face.

"Yeah well, I would never have sex with you either, vamp." I looked back away, pouting slightly.

I was a little offended but I was not going to show it.

I mean who wants to bone a vampire?

I looked back at him, his soft eager eyes met mine as he looked down at me with such a pleased expression. I turned my head back feeling my cheeks flush.

okay maybe I would.

"You have such magnificent veins.."

"just bite me already dude." I rolled my eyes. He nodded, coming closer toward my neck. I felt my nerves start to act up I wanted to squirm, run away, hide but..

"try to be still." His hand rubbed my sides as he whispered calmly into my ear. My breath hitched from the cold sensation causing me to whimper quietly.

"okay.."

He inched towards my neck and soon bit down into my flesh, my eyes shut on their own as I bit down on my lip from the pain. I mumbled incoherent words under my breath from the feeling. As I muttered in pain I felt his arm move across mine and his hand come in contact with mine.

He held my hand down softly into the pillow with care, I felt myself starting to feel less of the pain and become calm. A smile crept on my weak face as my fingers closed to hold his lightly as he drained the blood out of me.

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 29: Supernatural

I wound up writing a decent amount. I think I also might end up doing more with these characters in the future. Could work with my more "Out there" kinks, one of which is already on display in this one.

Now has a sequel story.

TW: Death (mentioned), loneliness, religious trauma (implied)

Kinks: Hiccups, bubbles, stomach noises, burps, uh...voooooore? Kinda? Living creature inside of another living creature.

"I'm so–*HUP* sorry, are you th---the hag?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and braced myself for what was coming as the soft, round woman outside my door stared at me. Compared to her, with my bone-white skin and hair and my scrawny form, I may as well have been a skeleton. "Yes, I'm the hag. The old one's dead. What do you want?"

Her head whipped back and forth, and she looked stupidly innocent and naive even though she was at least half a decade older than me. Her case of the hiccups probably added to that, especially with how it made her whole body hop and the little surprised way her eyes would widen when they came, not that I should have been paying attention to that. I wondered if the gardens full of herbs, chimney smoke that transformed into clouds, and the generally mystical aura that my previous master's hut had about it was enough to convince people I was serious. If I had to start wearing her black dresses and pointed hats, I'd be irritated.

This prospective patient was already irritating me. Her nervous gaze finally landed on me again. "I, um–*HMK!* Oh! I-I'm sorry, I–*HIUK-UCK* I really should be goi—"

"What do I need to do to prove to you people that I'm a professional?!" I knew that "yelling at random women" was not the correct answer, but I was sick of people hovering outside of my hut or coming to meet me, then walking away when they found out I was all they were getting. "Dye my hair black? Age seventy years? Put a hex on anyone who comes within a mile of my house?!" It only occurred to me after I said that that it sounded like a threat, and the woman had taken a few steps back. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "No. Sorry. I won't curse you. I'm not that kind of hag." As much as I was tempted to become one sometimes.

"I-It's not th–*ACK-ulp* th-that." She shook her head, then shook again with another hiccup, and with how scared she looked I was a bit surprised she hadn't lost them. "I'm so–*URK* sorry, I know that a ha–*UCK* hag's time is ve–*HURK* very imp–*UP* important." There were few things I could think of right now that were less important than my copious free time, but I knew that saying as much would be nothing but trouble should people ever actually start coming to me for help. "And you're o–*olk* only supposed to g---go to a ha–*ulk* hag for serious *HUP* problems—"

I sighed again. "No, you're only supposed to go to a hag for problems nobody else can solve. There are plenty of serious problems that I want nothing to do with and plenty of small problems I'm the best option for. I can't fix everything. Some problems are forever. But I won't know unless you tell me what it is."

"...oh. *OLP*." That seemed to calm her down a bit. "W-well, if, um–*HMK* if it's no–*HOK* not a bo---bother for you–*HIUK–ULK!*" That louder hiccup burst out of her, as did a few shimmery little bubbles that floated up from her mouth before popping in the air, each with a very audible little hiccup of its own. Her round cheeks were flushed and she covered her mouth with both hands. "...I ha–*UP* have the hiccups. *HMK* And they wo–*HOLK* won't go away. *HMK-mmp* And sometimes the–*IC-ULP*–p-puh!" She exhaled more bubbles which forced their way past her fingers, transforming into dozens of tiny ones rather than a handful of small ones to do so. "...they do that. *HMK*."

"Yyyyep. That's a hag problem." I bit my inner lip to make sure I didn't smile. It wouldn't behoove me to act happy about a patient's suffering, no matter how minor. "Come inside and sit on one of the chairs." I held open the door for her and she nodded before rushing in, looking around and finding her way to what was once my master's favorite squishy seat.

Speaking of my master, I nearly heard her screeching voice in my head: "Just because you think you know what it is doesn't mean you shouldn't check! More mistakes are made in assumption than ignorance!" The fact that she was wise didn't make her shrieks any less painful or her advice any less annoying, but I'd have been stupid not to listen to her because of that. "I have a theory what's causing this, but I'd like to give you an examination to be sure."

"O-of course! *HMNK!*" I switched from my smoky quartz glasses to my normal ones, then turned and started rooting through the previous hag's stuff. Even after months of living here alone, I still hadn't managed to sort out and fix her incomprehensible system of storing things. "Um, m–*HMP* may I ask fo–*URK* for your name? *HNK-lk!*"

"You may ask." After hearing a few hiccups behind me and getting a glimpse at her dumb, confused face, I felt bad enough to decide to elaborate. "But just because you can ask doesn't mean that I'll answer."

"...oh. *HMK*"

Well. She didn't need to sound quite so sad about it. I looked over my shoulder and saw her looking genuinely crestfallen before hiccuping out a large, singular bubble that popped noisily. When it did, she jumped, then caught my gaze and shrunk beneath it, making a small, apologetic gesture. "...but my master used to call me Caelfind. I suppose you can too."

She brightened up immediately and hiccuped a cluster of far smaller bubbles. "Oh! *HIP!* Thank you, Caelfi–*HNK*–ind! My name is—"

"Don't!" I turned around and held my hand out, and she froze, mouth still open around a bubble. I realized how dire I'd sounded, then did my best to relax and turn back to my search. "Don't go around telling unnaturally pale magic women in forests your name."

"...right! *HIK!*" I nearly laughed at just how surprised she sounded, and I heard her pound a fist into an open palm.

"If that's the sort of thing you have trouble remembering, I'm shocked you haven't been kidnapped by elves yet."

She chuckled weakly and I felt a bit bad for being so blunt. After a moment of uncomfortable near silence, she spoke again. "Maybe I ha–*UCK* have and nobody se---seemed to notice."

...I'd heard last words from lonesome old widows that sounded less sad than that.

It was none of my business. What was my business was the fact that this woman kept hiccuping bubbles in my hut. So when I finally got my hand on my master's ear trumpet, I forgot to stop myself from letting out a triumphant "HAH!" I also forgot to make what I was doing clear before storming back over to her and putting the trumpet to her chest, then bending over to listen to it. It was only after I heard her distressed squeak echo through her chest that it occurred to me what I'd just done. "Uh...sorry."

"N-no, no–*HEEP!* please!" She undid the top few buttons of her dress, and even though I'd seen naked people of all kinds come through here, there was still something in me that felt compelled to look away, especially at seeing the way her chest spasmed and bounced her heavy breasts. Her skin was significantly darker than mine, (as was everybody's) but it still seemed flushed, so I supposed at least I wasn't the only embarrassed one here. I put the horn to her chest again and listened carefully, hearing the way the muscles inside of her spasmed. Nothing unusual there. To my...frustration, I'd have to move lower, so I bent down and began pulling across her skin towards her stomach. She inhaled sharply and I decided not to try and interpret that. "Um, Cae–*EEP* Caelfind, can I a–*HUP* ask you so---somethi–*hnk*?"

"I probably can't stop you." The spasming leaps of her round belly and the gurgles and sloshes inside with each hiccup were more than distracting enough.

"Well, u–*HMP* um, why a–*URK* are you a hag?"

I scowled as I looked up at her. "Because the old one died. We've been over this."

"No no no, n–*hnk* not that!" She waved her hands placatingly, and I wondered exactly how intimidating I was coming across, given how much smaller than her I was. "I me–*HEEK* I mean...*hmk* why do you ne–*HEEK* need to be?"

I could feel my eyebrows furrowing and pulled my ear away from the horn. Dammit, I couldn't listen to her and her stomach at the same time and find what I was looking for. "'Need' to be?"

"W-well," her skin was flushed even more, and she wouldn't meet my eyes as she hiccuped a cluster of small bubbles. "I mean–*hnk* being a ha–*UCK* a hag is a job for a sp–*hip* spinster, right? But you're so–*olk* so young a–*hnk* and beautiful, so wh–*up* why couldn't y–*hnk* you get married? *HMK-mmp!*" I was staring. I probably shouldn't have been staring, but that was what I was doing anyway. And one of my hands had ended up resting on her belly, which kept bouncing beneath it, and that wasn't helping. She squirmed under my gaze. "I-I'm so–*hrk* sorry, should I n–*hnk* not have asked? *HEEK* People tell me that I *hmk* have a lot of que–*HNK* questions that nob–*up*–body cares abou–*uck* or needs to kn–*HNK* know the answer to and *HIUK* that I sho–*ULK* should just—"

"Shut up." I covered her mouth. She hiccuped. Tiny bubbles slipped between my fingers. "I can't listen properly if you keep talking."

"Oh." Her shoulders jolted silently and she looked away again. "S---sorry."

I leaned back down towards her belly, but I couldn't focus, and after a moment I sighed. "Just because the questions don't get answered doesn't mean you shouldn't ask them. It just means that whoever you ask isn't answering them. And when someone won't give you an answer, the most important thing you can do is figure out why."

She was (mostly) silent for a moment. "Why?" she asked.

"Yes, why they won't answer you."

"N–*hnk* no, I mean *hmp* I'm asking you." I looked up and saw her gazing down at me. "Why w–*ulk* won't you answer *HNK-lp*  my questions?"

After a long moment, I chuckled. "Well, I guess that's one way to gather information. For the most part, I won't answer them because I'm obstinate and ill-tempered. That was my master's way of saying I was a pain in her ass." She laughed too, a few hiccups and bubbles tangled up with them, and the way she smiled was...painful to look at. But it wasn't like focusing on her chest or stomach would be any better. "...but as for marriage, that wouldn't work for me. Whether or not I'm 'beautiful' is one matter," and my mind frankly wasn't even willing to try and acknowledge that opinion right now, "whether or not I'm fragile is another. I can't go outside in the sun without being burnt. My master taught me some ointments that can protect me, or at least reduce the burns, but there's very few wives I can imagine that need to spend less than an hour at a time in the sun."

"Oh." I didn't know what emotion I was hearing in her voice. I hoped it wasn't pity. I didn't particularly want to be a wife, and I didn't know what I'd do with pity for anything else. "...*hup* but you have a g–*hnk-lk* garden."

I turned towards her. "...and?"

"Doesn't that ne–*heek* need to be tend---ded?"

Huh. That was a more clever question than I'd anticipated. "I tend the gardens at night. The plants need sunlight and they need weeding and watering, but they don't need all of those things at the same time."

"I see! *HEEP*" Her smile was painfully cute. I had to remember that she was just a client like any other...albeit one of my first, and certainly the first to take me seriously. "Wait, *hup* then when do y–*hnk* you sleep?"

At this rate, I was never going to get this examination done, though in fairness to her, I was the one letting her get away with stalling me. Having to be that close to her spasming stomach was going to be a...charged experience, so I could deal with questions. And hers continued to be less inane than expected. "I sleep during the day. Unfortunately, that's also when clients come. Hence the very loud bell."

"Oh! No wo–*hup* wonder you've been gr–*hrk-lk* grouchy! I'm sorr–*EEP!*"

"Grouchy". That was a rather patronizing way to put it. Something offensive in me found it cute. "If I didn't want the clients I wouldn't have the bell." After a moment I sighed. "But yes, I would probably be a significantly more hospitable hag if you had visited me at night."

"I'll rem–*hmp* remember that for ne–*uck* next time!" Given that she'd apparently forgotten to not tell her name to magic women in huts, I doubted it, but the thought was nice at least.

And I should really have been dealing with this nice woman's problem and not letting her waste both of our time. Unlike myself, hers was probably of some value and better utilized elsewhere. "Now shut up, I need to listen to your stomach." She nodded and obligingly covered her mouth. No getting away from it now. I knelt down to get a better angle and undid more buttons of her dress before putting the bell of the trumpet against the apex of her belly, moving it around as I listened from the thin end. I could hear the muscles inside growling, the liquids sloshing, the echoes of the air in her lungs and the spasm of her diaphragm with every hiccup, the burbling and pulsing of—

Wait, there it was!

I forced myself to ignore everything else and stood back up, moving the horn a bit above her navel, and inside of her, I heard a bubbling and something like a high-pitched giggle. "Hah!" I pulled the horn away and clapped my hands before heading over to the pantry of herbs and powders. "It's exactly what I thought it was! Easy fix!"

"Re–*HEEP* really?" She sounded so elated...I was honestly glad to have my head in a pantry. Looking at her smile was becoming troublesome. "What i–*CUP* is it?"

"Just a mischievous spirit. I'll have you exorcised in—"

"EXORC---CIZED?!"

I stared back at her and saw that her face had gone pale enough to vaguely resemble mine. Her big brown eyes were wide with horror, and her half-naked body (why hadn't she buttoned back up, that wasn't helping!) was trembling. "Um...yes?"

Her eyes went even wider. "I-I'm sor–*EEP!* Please don't te–*HUP* tell anyone tha–*HUK* that I've been pos---posessed by de–*HEE*–mons! I swea–*URK* that I—"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down! Who said anything about demons?"

She stared up at me, looking the tiniest bit less like she was panicking. She'd still shrunken back into my master's chair though. "You...*hnk* you said that y---you would exorcize me–*heep*–e-eee..." I noticed that the bubbles had reduced again. It seemed like they seemed to come less when she was stressed. Maybe she was unconsciously suppressing them.

"I mean...yes. That's the procedure."

A bit of the fear came back into her eyes. "S–*hop* so that me---eans I'm possessed *hnk* right?"

My nose wrinkled. "I, uh...I suppose technically, though that's not really communicating the right idea. Okay, wait, hang on, I think you're thinking about this wrong." I walked back over and crouched by the chair again, working on buttoning her dress back up since apparently she hadn't thought to do so. "It's like how you thought you only come to hags for serious problems. No, you only come to hags for unsolvable problems. Plenty of those are relatively small, and plenty of serious problems are perfectly solvable on your own. Maybe not to everyone's satisfaction, but they can be solved. Exorcisms are like hags. It's just a specific procedure for a specific problem that can be serious or can be relatively benign. This is one of the latter. And it's certainly not a 'demon'. You've been spending time around priests, haven't you?" She nodded slowly and I spat into the fireplace as I finished buttoning her dress again before stalking back over to my pantry. "Insufferable people. Spreading agitation everywhere because scared cattle can be cowed by barking dogs. This is why you come to a professional for these sorts of things, not some elderly godshound who thinks that literacy makes him smarter than everyone else."

"Y–*hnk* you're not lit---terate?" I couldn't help pulling back out of the pantry and glaring at her, and she waved her hands placatingly again, though at least she looked less terrified. "I-I don't be–*HEEP* believe that ma–*huk* makes me smarter than y---you or makes you le---less of a hag—"

"Wait, you are literate?"

She blinked at me. "Yes? Ev–*erk*–ryone in my vi---village is."

Honestly, I had no clue what to do with that. So I went back to the pantry and found the lemon extract powder and treated soda ash, then brought them over to the water I'd pumped last night and mixed some into a bottle before corking it. "It's simple, but it'll take a few hours to prepare."

She'd gotten up and was looking at me from across the room. "To prep–*hup* prepare holy wat–*urk*?"

I resisted rolling my eyes. "It's not holy water any more than soup is holy water. This is all the mixing I'll need to do, but I'm going to put it in the root for an hour or two." I opened the trapdoor and climbed down to the cellar to get to the icebox. A lot of the ice was melting. I was going to have to find a day to take another trip into town to get ice from the yakhchāl. That would be annoying. Sloughing through the rain was misery, and going out on cloudy or foggy days was never completely safe. "Closer to two, from the look of things."

The woman had ended up hovering by the cellar door and scrambled away when I climbed back up. "Doe–*uck* does it nee–*heep* need to be pu–*urk* purified?" She was hiccing up bubbles about every fifth spasm now, so it seemed like she was less anxious than the initial mention of an exorcism made her.

"No, it needs to be cooled while it's corked. That makes the bubbles inside of it form correctly. It makes it 'effervescent,' apparently."

She tilted her head at me. "A–*urk* are you an a–*hulk*–chemist?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Absolutely not, no! Obnoxious intellectuals, all of them! Thinking that if you heat enough fluids you'll eventually find god in one of them."

"So y---you think they're li–*uck* like priests?"

Even though I shouldn't have, I scoffed at that. "No, of course not. Alchemists actually do something. All priests are good for is reading books and scaring people. Alchemists are a pain, but they're a useful pain. I still get deliveries once a month from one that lives in the city further out west. Never learned who they actually were, but apparently their deal with my master still stands, even after she's dead. Their apprentice is a chatty one." The woman sat back down and nodded, but her lips were pursed. "...so I don't have any books that you could read, but I suppose you could go for a walk or—"

"Wha–*uck* what's the dif---ference?" I blinked at her and she stared back at me. "Betw---between a h–*ic* hag and an a–*ulk*–chemist? You bo–*hulp* both make potions, r---right?"

I looked at her. She looked...weirdly comfortable in that chair. I'd never been able to figure out how to sit in it. Instead, I sat in the chair across from it, like I always had. It was harder. That suited me.

My master always said that our clients didn't need to know how we did what we did. She'd never discussed it with them; around them at best, and even then rarely. She preferred to tell me what to do, let me pick up information from it, then explain it afterward, or have me guess what exactly we'd been doing. Her clients never needed to know anything.

But then, her clients never actually asked.

"...well, for one, alchemists call their potions 'tinctures' or something ridiculous like that. But it does go a little deeper."

It was actually closer to three hours later when I went downstairs to get the bottle back. She was hiccing up bubbles nearly every time now, practically melted into my master's old chair with comfort, smiling wide and eyes shining as we'd talked. I'd only remembered what she was actually here for when a particularly large "*HIGGULP!*" forced a massive bubble out of her and had her resting her hand on her chest, at which point I ran downstairs and forgot to explain myself.

"Alright. So the potion should be ready now." I said as I climbed back up from the cellar. "The taste won't be the best, but it's perfectly safe to drink. I, um, could have added some herbs ahead of time, but—"

"No, no, that's pe–*URK* perfectly fine," she said, taking the glass bottle from me. After a second, she blinked. "Wait, *hnk* 'drink'?"

"...yes?"

"No–*hock* not apply an–*heep* anywhere?"

"It's a potion, not an ungent. The problem is inside of you, so it makes sense the solution would go there too."

"Right..." She looked...oddly skeptical. More so than she had at any point since she'd been here. "A–*hnk* and...then wh---at? What's the e–*huk*–xorcism?"

"Well, the potion should take care of most of it, but..." I had hoped to avoid bringing this up at all, knowing just how badly my unspeakably pale face hid any blushing, but after how many questions I'd answered, it would be more strange to stop now. "...but if that doesn't work, there are some abdominal pressure techniques I can use to help."

I couldn't read her face in response to that. She seemed very focused on the cold glass bottle she was holding. "Ho–*uck* how does wa–*urk* water that's no–*hup* not holy exorc---cise anythi–*ngk*?"

"Like I said, it's not a demon." I finally found a corkscrew from among my master's implements and stuck it into the cork. "The reaction that took place in the water—nnf, come now..." I flinched when she put her large, soft hand on top of mine, then pulled the cork I'd been struggling with almost effortlessly. As soon as she'd pulled it, the bottle opened with a loud pop, and bubbles formed inside of it. "...ah. Thank you. The reaction that took place infused the water with air."

"So we–*uck* we're go–*ingk* to sto–*hup* me from hiccuping bu–*hup*–bbles by...*hnk* adding more bu---bubbles?"

"More or less. It's displacement. If a tub has enough water in it, you can remove water by adding more water, and depending on the temperature or weight, you can eventually replace all of what was inside of it with something new. And these bubbles—" I tapped the glass of the bottle with my nail, "—should be less mischievous than the ones currently inside of you."

"I–*hilp* I see!" Her eyes were shining again. And that was doing unpleasant things to my heart and stomach. Speaking of unpleasant, when she started drinking, even from beneath her stiff dress, I could see her belly expanding slightly with each gulp. She drank it all down before I could tell her not to. It was honestly kind of impressive. When she pulled it away, before she could say or do anything else, her mouth opened with an "EEEUUUUUUURRRRGK! Oh! *HIULK!* Oh my go–*HOOK* goodness, excu–uuUUUUUuuuse me–*HEEK!*"

With every belch, lines of bubbles came up from her throat and floated into the air, and each hiccup brought large singular bubbles alongside. Rather than popping like those she'd hiccuped previously had, these hung in the air, gravitating towards one another. "It's fine, this is to be expected." Against my better judgment, I sat her up slightly so that I could pat her back as she rocked. Her hiccups and belches increased to the point that it was impossible for her to talk, and I could see her belly spasming and contracting a little smaller each time (to my...disappointment? How unprofessional.) Eventually, though, the belches brought up fewer and fewer bubbles and the hiccups stopped summoning them at all. A mass of bubbles floated unpopping at the ceiling of my hut, and I picked up my master's broom and swatted at them. "Alright, you've had your fun! Now get lost! Go on back to wherever you came from!" With enough encouragement, they eventually found their way to the chimney and went up along with the steam from my cauldron and smoke from the fire. "There. Exorcism completed...most likely. If it was a single air or water spirit, you shouldn't have any more bubbles in you, but if it was a colony, you might hiccup or burp a few more, but they shouldn't be interested in sticking around now that all their friends are gone.

The woman was staring up at the ceiling where the bubbles had been, covering her mouth now and muffling the rapid hiccups and short little burps that kept popping out of her. "Oh! *HIC!* Oh, I s–*HEEK* see n–*HUP* now! BORP–*HIK-ULK!* I tho–*HUK* thought the r–*HIP*–ver wat–*URK* was fu–*HUKKUP*–uuuurp funny today!"

"Yep. Sometimes spirits wind up in your food or water and you end up eating or drinking them. Normally it's harmless for everyone involved, but sometimes they like to have a laugh at the eater's expense." A split second later, the woman's stomach growled and gurgled noisily. I turned my head away so she wouldn't see my blush. "And speaking of eating, you've probably stayed longer than you intended to. Let me feed you, I always make more stew than I need."

We ate dinner together that night. Now that her hiccups were mundane, she seemed completely unbothered by them, and a bowl of stew was enough to chase them away, though a few singular hiccups brought up a bubble or two over the course of her meal. When she opened the door, the sun was going down, but I still switched rapidly to my quartz glasses. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot—"

"It's fine, but warn me next time." ...I said as if there would be a next time anytime soon. It wasn't as if people enjoyed visiting the local hag. "And if anyone else has that problem, send them to me. The same with other hag types of problems."

"Of course!" She smiled at me and my heart fluttered offensively. "Thank you, Caelfind!" And she waved as she ran off.

...I never actually got her name.

...that was fine. Hags didn't ask their patients' names. They didn't need them. I swept up the hairs and dust that the woman had shed and collected drops of the popped bubbles off of the ceiling, then bottled it all to use as reagents later. Anything left behind was my payment. She hadn't forgotten any coins or brought any food, but that was fine. Hags never expected more than reagents and grudging gratitude.

The sun kept setting and I started lighting candles and lanterns. It was going to be a tiring night.

It was after sundown the next day when I heard the bell outside ring. I'd slept the entire day, so I rushed to dress myself and get to the door. "Yes, I'm the hag, the old one—" My words stopped in my mouth, and they still would have even if they hadn't been interrupted by a noisy hiccup.

The woman from yesterday was in front of me again. She had a basket of bread and vegetables. And her round, brown cheeks were smiling, even while they flushed as bubbles hiccuped out of her. "Um, it, eh–*hip!* It seems I fo–*urk* forgot no–*hok* not to drink fr–*up* from the bu–*hup*–bly parts of th---of the river ag–*huk*–gain, Caelfi–*hnk*–ind." She giggled bashfully.

I blinked and stared at her. She had a bag on her hip. I recognized a stylus for a wax writing tablet sticking out of it. "...and yet you remembered what my master called me and remembered to come after dark."

She looked away. "Sh–*hup* should I no---not have?"

"...no. You clearly have a problem for a hag to solve. Now come inside."

How brightly she smiled at me practically burned like the sun. "Of c---course, tha–*HNK!* thank you! Now–*hup* I remember yest–*urk*–terday you sai–*hup* said you'd nee–*heep* need to go in–*hnk*–to town for i---ice soon. *HNKlp!*" Soon, bubbles were floating out of her with every hiccup as she talked at me about whether she might carve some new ice herself and deliver it to me tomorrow night. She also asked what other things in the town could be useful for me and started writing them down on her little wax tablet.

...I was going to have to think of something to call this woman, wasn't I?

As I mixed up more water, lemon extract, and treated soda ash, I also decided I should tell the alchemist's apprentice to increase the amount of those he brought me every month. I didn't think I could trust her not to "forget" about that river again. And selfishly, I didn't particularly want her to try and remember.

[girlvinland]

This is a post I don't really feel good about writing, but at the same time, it's something I feel like I keep wanting to vent about and that I don't really...have enough places to vent about. I have my therapist, but I feel like even then, I can't unload it all on her bc I feel like I never have enough time even if it comes up here and there. Unloading it on other people who aren't her typically leads to them going on the defensive about the things I want to talk about, even when I try to be gentle or more objective in discussing it. I feel like here is one of the places I usually feel okay talking (even though I know that's probably stupid in some ways), but idk. It's comfortable because it's familiar and bc my words aren’t being directed at any one person. Sorry this is really long, btw.

I feel like I've talked about sexuality so much the past year or so, and I feel like I've taken so long, like...longer than a lot of people...to fully unravel things about myself. My teens were reserved for me barely scratching the surface of anything bc I was petrified of it and had zero exposure to anything that would have helped me in any way. My twenties were like, the first stage of my actual exploration and unfurling, where I was like...wait...this is a viable option? Other people are like this...I'm meeting people who understand. Does that mean I could let myself have that option too? But I still went on like no...no. I'm basically meant to live someone else's life and not seek out any further answers. The past five years I did seek out more answers and really did a lot of work, and that's like...still quite a long time to sort through some of this (or at least, it feels that way).

All of that is just history now though, so it’s not actually what I want to discuss. The thing that I don't feel good about is how my emotions have felt wrt everything currently. I've started to feel like such a bitter person for it, but I don't know if, in some way, the things I feel are justified after years of trying to understand my relationship to the world at large and how my sexuality relates to it. I want to believe that they are and that I'm just at a stage where I can experience these emotions fully in ways I haven’t before and that eventually they'll start to mellow out.

For instance, the past couple of years I've started to become somewhat like…irrationally irritated when it comes to hearing about boyfriends/husbands/etc of my friends who are cis women. Sometimes in general, but mostly when it's in the context of someone complaining about their partner in a day-to-day sort of way. The normalization of that in a heteronormative society has started to become something I just…really dislike hearing about. After going through my own “straight-passing” relationships (idk if this term is ok to use and I’ll change it if not), I almost feel like I just don't have the time or care for it anymore, even when I want to be supportive. Also, it’s hard for me to not apply my own experiences and biases, and a part of me always ends up wanting to be like. If you aren't happy, please try and do something to fix it. Converse with your partner about it. Leave if it's bad enough that you can't deal with it anymore. Get a therapist for yourself or both of you to work things out. Idk. It feels unfair for me to be like that when family or friends want to vent, but I also find it so hard to deal with now or like, it sends my brain to the boomer comic “I hate my wife but I’m just going to complain and not doing anything to change it” realm (and I understand that a lot of times, it is the partner who has little interest in changing things even when the other person is trying, which is even more frustrating to some extent).

The other thing I feel guilty about is this disdain I've developed of hearing about cis male celebrities/characters/crushes in more heterosexual regards (I want to specify that this doesn’t mean I actively dislike the celebs or characters or anything like that, not usually anyway. There are a ton of male chars I enjoy and everything, and tbh idc that much about celebrities in general). I feel like for the past few years I've been going through a period where I'm so tired of being exposed to it though (even with my own chars being sexualized by other ppl tbh) and all I want to do is to engage in media/culture that somehow dismantles anything cisheteronormative or that focuses on couples that aren’t cis/straight (I’ve esp sought out so much more wlw-adjacent media in recent years bc I’ve found myself connecting to it in a way that’s like…holy shit I want to make up for years of things I didn’t have access to or didn’t know existed).

Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like talking about that more often leads to a level of anger or annoyance on the part of people who don't feel that way, even though there is so much less media and discussion about those things in general. A lot of this is more relevant to irl straight friends I have and stuff, where it's fine for them to talk about all of the things they like when it relates to men or romance centered around men, but I don't necessarily have the same ability/level of acceptance from them to discuss media focused on anything else wrt romance/sexuality. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of queer friends and whatnot, but most of them live elsewhere now (I also live elsewhere from many of them) and in general, the majority of people I'm exposed to in regular life are usually straight bc statistically that's just how it is and everything. It frustrates me though how it feels so acceptable for them to talk about whatever male celebrity/char or straight romance thing is popular, but I just kind of have to stand there and nod while wishing I could talk about the stuff I like too when it comes to like, wlw/lesbian media or whatever. That sounds selfish, but I feel like it reflects society’s general view on anything queer, and I think that’s why it gets to me more. Like maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much if that wasn’t the default/if I could speak about things as freely too. I know a lot of people feel that way, I don’t mean to make that or any of this post sound like some experience that is unique to me.

Anyway. I'm sorry if this vent comes off as weird or abrasive at all. It's really, really not my intention, nor is it directed at any one person or relationship and is more just a reflection on how my emotions are now when I think about cisheternormative society and that kind of thing. In the past I was able to kind of...blind myself to a lot of it, I think, or at least be more jokey about it in the times when it did annoy me. And after the years of working to distance myself from it, these aspects of it have started to seem really pervasive, even more so than I felt they were before. Like I said, I don't feel good about feeling these things and I don't want to always feel them. I hope I can work through them and get to a place where they don't bother me, or at least, not as much as now. I truly think it's a situation of like…breaking free of my own binds/feeling this freedom now and seeing things in a different light than I was able to before when I had the blinders on, and maybe once I settle into myself more, I’ll be able to shake those emotions off or find better ways to cope with them. I feel like a lot of this is stuff that’s always existed and always will, and the ways in which society operates are very hard to change, but I can kind of adapt the way I see and experience things so that they’re healthier for me. I’m just. Still in the early stages of doing that, and maybe it will take a little time to understand how to make it more productive/easier for myself. I didn’t get to this place overnight, and I’m sure I have a lot more to learn on this particular journey.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hey, there! I hope you don’t mind, but here’s a few questions from the ask game🤭💜☺️ Can you please do Blizzard, December, Chanukah, Hailstone, Hot chocolate, Polar, Snow, and Mulled wine for the ask game 🥺 No pressure, of course! I hope you have a great day❤️☺️🫂

Heyyy ~ ❤️ I never mind!! Okay, I answered two of them already:

Blizzard & Hailstone

December - do you have any irrational fears?

I don't believe that any fear is irrational. If you think about it hard enough, any reason to be scared of something is reasonable because we all experience the world differently. Fear protects us, it keeps us alive - to an extent. Sometimes it's detrimental, but it comes largely from the part of us that loves us and is invested in our health and safety. On the other hand, I have a phobia of water splashing back on me at work and getting into my hair. So I always stand back at least an arms' length away when I'm sorting out the chemicals I'm using all day. I work with strong chemicals - corrosives, irritants, bleaches, powders, etc., which would melt my hair right off if it ever got into my hair. If I think water splashes back, I spend the next five to ten minutes worrying so intensely about my hair that I get a psychosomatic burning across my scalp. I'll go look in the nearest mirror to make sure there's no wet patch, I'll be dabbing at the spot with my wrist to alleviate the itch, I'll ask coworkers if there's anything there. There's never anything there, I'm very careful, but I fear it all the same. And this illustrates my point - to you, that precaution of me literally jumping away from running water/leaning back when using chemicals/getting very anxious about splash back may sound silly (and that's okay), but to me, it's a very reasonable thing to be scared of. Fear, like everything in life, is subjective. And I don't think it's ever irrational - there's always a reason someone is scared. Fear in itself is a survival mechanism we've used to keep us alive for millennia. What was it the 12th Doctor once said? "Fear is your friend - it is a superpower".🥺❤️

Chanukah - who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

Hmm... I don't know. Maybe Maya Hawke? She'd capture the awkward social skills quite well and the tendency to ramble. I can't really think of anyone.

Hot chocolate - how would you like to be remembered?

As someone who loved hard, tried her best, and lived her life inside her head.❤️

Polar – would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

Hmmm... this feels like one of those 'trick' questions where there's a massive downside which isn't considered when initially answering. So I'll cop out - I'll stay just as I am, but not living with my parents. That'd fix me, and I'm not joking. Because I'm at my happiest when I'm away from them.

Snow – what fictional character reminds you most of yourself?

I don't wanna say who I'm thinking of because that'll feel like poking a wasp's nest.😂

Mulled wine - do you speak any other languages?

Unfortunately, no. I tried teaching myself Japanese and Korean a few years back, and the most I can remember is the odd word here or there.

Thank you for the questions!!!❤️

[auroraaurorae]

How Do I Figure Myself Out As An Alter??? (Rant/Seeking Advice)

Warning: This is probably going to be me ranting quite a bit and I am sorry but I have no idea what else to do and another person in the system recommended I just come here and yap away, so here I am. I promise I normally am not this grouchy or cranky, but this has been on my mind since I originally came around in October of last year.

I have a feeling someone else may have had a question/dilemma like this but I have no clue how to work Reddit and couldn't figure out how to even phrase this well enough to search in the subreddit, but how the hell do I figure out who I am as an alter?? How the hell do I figure out who I am as a person and what I like, dislike, and more??? I'm at a point where I feel like I am put in a certain box and sure, maybe I fit the role but I don't feel like I have come even close to figuring myself out.

I don't know what to answer in personality quizzes, I don't know how to explore hobbies, and nothing seems to give me any sort of spark of joy or delight like everyone else gets. Now I get told my system should help me out?? Maybe one of the others gets it, but it just doesn't feel like it could work because how we go about things are different.

So how did you all figure yourselves out? I am not a fictive if it helps but I have spent time watching movies with the system, play video games with them and so forth but dang it, I want something catered to me for once! But I can't even ask for that when I don't know what I like or want. How am I supposed to know? I almost want someone to tell me what I should want, but I know that won't fix anything either. Am I depressed or something???? We've had a lot going on, but I don't think it is anything to be depressed over as we're making through it. Others in the system were nice enough to even get a portrait made of me which they didn't have to and they are trying to include me in everything they do. I appreciate it but it also just irritates me because I know I should feel joy from it all but can't seem to give a damn. I just feel empty from it all.

I want to be like everyone else and know what my sexuality is and my gender identity. I want to be able to like other girls like the host does and make friends but I almost am too scared to and I have no clue why.

I don't know how else to write this so I am so so sorry but like, can anyone relate???? I was told I may be considered a caretaker but I have no clue what my role even really is in the system. Sorry for the rant again, I am just lost and confused.

Aurora (feel free to call me Rory)

[ellowynthenotking]

Feb 9

Dear dad

So we're traveling a little bit, and we found a place to stay for a couple of days. It's free if we're willing to "help them with a little problem."

Which, of course, means that it's actually going to be some kind of monster hunt, where we'll just need to kill some things that really, someone else should deal with, but as we're the only ones here, and the only ones who are apparently willing to deal with it. Which means we're going to deal with it. 

I think it's the least we can do. Helping people is, like, the bare minimum. Like scraping the bottom of the barrel bare and after the dragon. Maybe a monster hunt is the best thing we can do right now. 

The best thing that I can do.

No one has actually told us much about whatever it is that is the problem. Still, no one seems particularly concerned or scared, which is hopefully a good sign. If they don't think it's that bad, either they've been dealing with it for a while, likely, and it's not actually that bad. Or, it's a relatively new thing that is very dangerous, and they just have no idea how dangerous it is but are willing to send a group of people just passing through into the belly of the beast. Also likely.

But hopefully, that's not what's going on. It's probably just some small pests, like monstrous bunnies, that keep eating their crops. 

Well, maybe not their crops. It is still the middle of winter. Maybe it's getting into their food storage? That would be a problem that needed dealing with immediately. 

But I don't know. 

We won't know until tomorrow. We got in pretty late tonight, and there's pretty much no way I'm going to be useful in the middle of the night. 

Tomorrow, we'll find out exactly what it is, and maybe the others will be able to figure out what's going on and what we need to do to help or fix it. 

Maybe they'll even be able to convince the people to give us money for helping, in addition to the room. Also, it's less likely, but it would be cool. We need more, and work has not been plentiful this, well, actually this year.

It's not like we've actually run out, but no one's hiring us. We haven't been in any towns or anything that has had jobs. Even the temples and such haven't had much work for us to do that was paid.

Okay, I'll admit there's something else weighing on me. It feels like something's watching me. I don't know what it is or where it is, but since we've got here, I feel like something just outside my line of sight is staring at me. 

I haven't seen anything yet, no matter how subtly I look. 

It's driving me a little crazy. And I don't know if any of the others have noticed or experienced anything similar, but if they have, they haven't said anything, which is almost as irritating. 

But I also haven't said anything, so maybe they think the same.

Then again, it is almost midnight, and I might just be ramping myself up for no reason. 

You know what? Maybe I'll figure out what it is tomorrow when we find out what exactly we're supposed to be dealing with. Maybe whatever's causing this feeling is actually the cause. 

But I won't know until tomorrow, so I should just get some sleep. I think that's all I'll be able to do.

Oh! I almost forgot to say anything. I think I learned a new rune today, too. It was pasted up all around the town. Well, drawn all over town, it's mostly up high, likely where kids can't reach it, but it's interesting, I copied it into my book, and I'll ask someone tomorrow what it is when we get done with everything. 

They'll owe me an answer, at least, right?

If they don't know or don't tell me, though, I can probably figure out in the next big city that we go to, maybe I'll be able to talk Zunair into taking me to a bard hall with him, so I can do a little research on my own again.

It's a weird little symbol, and if it's all over the place, it's gotta be a protection one or something. Which would be so, very, very useful for us to have. 

But I'll find out tomorrow.

If it all goes well, I'll write to you tomorrow, and if all doesn't go well, who knows.

Love, Jack

Read the rest of the series here: 

Or read more by this author here: 

[enchantechante]

Hi. I'm in school and started classes this week.Before leaving my mom told me to drive safe then she said you're doing better than your mama. I felt awkward. She also told me the same thing a few years ago when I went to school for another certification. We don't have the best relationship because she treats me like she doesn't like me and it sucks because she has cancer and I take care of the majority of things in our house...bills,buy all food etc. My brother lives with us and is soon to be 40. Lazy as hell and does the bare minimum. Just uses everyone and doesn't want to move out but she treats him better than me,always have,and allows him to drive her car that I paid to have fixed so it could run because she doesn't work and he wouldn't pay for it. I'm having car issues myself now and she said I can't even drive her car to go to work or school. SMH.

The whole ... you're doing better than your mama bullshit + her nasty attitude towards me is irritating. She's 70. When I move next year I don't want to just leave them behind but I feel a lot of jealousy towards me from her. Because who says that whenever something good happens to their child? Like she doesn't want me to enjoy the moments that I use to cry for and bust my ass for on my own. And why not let me drive the car so I can get to work and class when if it wasn't for me it wouldn't run and I paid car insurance for her while my brother was like fuck her plus I spend so much money trying to make sure she has healthy foods to eat etc.

I don't get why she basically acts like she doesn't love me. Our family is very small and almost everyone has passed.

I don't understand.

Good morning ⛅️

Weve answered this several times too.

dont think what she said is "mean" or "unloving" towards you.

Sounds like shes never been emotionally supportive, which is disappointing but not surprising.

Shes just likely used to making *her personal plight* the center of the conversation. Which makes sense for a lot of reasons (even though emotionally it sucks, no questions about that).

Parents usually have favorites. And its common for the boys to be treated differently than the girls. Especially Black boys with single Black mothers.

You can love people without giving them full access to your resources, personal space, time, emotional energy etc.

I hope you find ways to divest yourself emotionally and financially from the draining. And that you accept you're not a limitless resources and start enforcing boundaries. Also, this is one of those situations where reaching out for professional help financially and emotionally will make the world of a diff 🌎.

You dont have to always make your familys problems yours, Anon 🫂

[silenthillmutual]

Chestnut: 1-3 Frost: 12-14 Karol: 21 19 17

[imagining these three sharing a computer to answer questions is SO fun. baby in charge.]

Chestnut -

1. How would you best describe yourself?

happy! i am very happy and things do not make me sad a lot. when something scary happens i say no thank you and i walk away. i go and i look at a bug and i am happy because bugs are just little friends you can stick in your pocket and take everywhere! i am also short but one day i will not be as short. and then i can catch bugs when they are flying :]

2. What's your profession, and how skilled do you think you are at it?

right now i am a bug catcher but very soon aba says i will start school with ms. ravel and then i will be a student. sometimes aba says that i am a good bug catcher but not a good bug releaser because i try to keep as many bugs as i can. when i am old like aba and papa i want to study bugs and also maybe draw them. i think i would be very good at this because i am not scared of them. and then people can look at my pictures and they will know bugs are not scary!

3. Where do you live, and what is life like for you there?

i live in a house with my sister and my sister and my brother and my papa and my aba and our bull! except the bull does not live in the house because he would not fit. but he lives outside and we feed him apples and sometimes we all go to shekhen with him and see our family! it is nice to go there and see everyone and learn things from taya. we live in the town on gorkhon which is a river i am not allowed to go to because papa and aba get very scared. but aside from that i get to play with my siblings wherever and catch and keep bugs that papa helps me to care for and aba is teaching me about herbs! :]

Frost -

12. What was your childhood like?

My childhood was... very lonely. Not many people where I was raised. Especially after - they came. I suppose at one point in time I had a family. More than my mother.

Well. I suppose I would have been more than they could handle, anyway. It's rude to speak ill of the dead, but I tend to be too much for most people. They can only deal with my moods so long. So I left. And I'm still looking for something to fix me.

13. Is blood thicker than water, or would you rather wash yourself clean of it so-to-speak?

I could wash myself clean of it. It would be - so easy. What do I even know of my family? But that would only be a verbal renouncement. I can't un-become what I am. Whatever my allegiance, I am bound to my family by my blood. By our blood.

14. What’s your favorite animal?

I am fond of the pine martin.

Karol -

17. Are you more diurnal or nocturnal?

I would love to be a nocturnal creature. There's so much more work that can be done in the night, especially in palliative research. Unfortunately, I am cursed to be diurnal. I have attempted to change my sleeping habits in the past and found myself irritable. I suppose if it's for my damn mood, I can suffer through mornings.

19. What was your biggest mistake?

Moving to the city feels like a mistake sometimes. I could be doing something more useful with my life. I don't regret my decision to work for Thanatica. I believe we are doing important work. But who is taking care of my family while I'm gone? It's not as though we earn much in the way of money.

21. Does it feel like time and fate have always been against you?

What would Dankovsky say to this... I don't believe in anthropomorphising a concept such as time. It is a construct. We created it, and we can best it. And fate? Fate is a lazy man's excuse for failure. If I find myself incapable of meeting my goals, it is my own fault.

[ironstrange1991]

Strange Love (Part 1)

Angst / +18 Smut

Pairing: DoctorStrange!Supreme x Fem!Reader Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: After Escape from the traumas of the past, the reader finds shelter in Stark Tower and begins a new life that is threatened with the arrival of a visitor from another universe.

Word count: 5k

Warnings: Kidnapping, Mentions of abuse and traumas, Mentions of blood and wounds, Sexual content (P in V).

A/N: Specific plot parts and character powers may differ from what is seen in the movies and comics. I didn't try to make the story faithful to what we see in the MCU, this being used only as reference. Loki is only a tiny part of the story so if you don't like him don't worry ;)

English is not my first language so this will probably have some grammatical mistakes, I hope it doesnt spoil your experience.

Chapter 1: A Strange Visitor

It was late at night and all your instincts were on alert. Something wasn't right.

After all the traumas you went through after arriving in NY, you knew how to detect certain things and learned not to ignore certain sensations when they arrived.

Loki was far away trying to sort himself out with the TVA, which made you anxious and worried, but you needed to trust that he would make it or you would never have peace.

So there you were, staring at the dawn through the window after a sleepless night and worried about something you couldn't say what it was.

The day dragged on slowly and anxiously, every time someone called your name you scared yourself thinking something bad was happening, but when something got out of your control, it wasn't someone who informed you, you saw what was happening yourself. right before your eyes.

The vision was blurred and frightening. Stephen Strange was struggling. Defending himself against an enemy you couldn't see. Wong was passed out on the floor. Doctor Strange surrendered and then shouted “Look around you, do you think this is going to end well? Every time we interfere with reality we bring destruction.”

The voice that answered Stephen was familiar, but it held a frightening tone that you had never heard.

“It's nothing I can't fix.”

Your heart skipped a beat when you noticed that the speaker was Doctor Strange, or at least a version of him.

When you came back to the reality of the living room in Stark Tower, you were scared. You wanted to pretend that this was just a dream, nonsense, but you couldn't help but see it as some kind of premonition. More importantly, you couldn't hide it from Strange. He needed to know about that threat as soon as possible. He would know what to do.

You headed for the Sanctum Sanctorum as fast as you could. You slammed the door, but no one answered. The door opened as you tried the handle and entered what was a totally different place than the last time you saw it, all the furniture lying on the ground.

“Doctor Strange" You called, but no one answered. "We need to talk about something I saw…"

Doctor Strange's voice came to you strangled and scared

“[Y/N] ... run now.”

You turned to run, but the door closed in front of you and Doctor Strange spoke again.

“Welcome, my dear.”

A chill ran down your spine and when you turned around you saw him for the first time: Stephen Strange. Well, some kind of Stephen Strange.

Doctor Strange was lying on the floor beside Wong. Another Stephen Strange was walking towards you.

“I knew you would come. I could feel you watching me. I see that this universe has done you good, your skills are much more developed here.”

You did not answer.

“Allow me to introduce myself, but it may seem a little strange.” He smirked  “I'm Doctor Stephen Strange.”

You nodded, trying not to show how much that scared you.

“I know who you are. I saw you some time ago, knew you would come at some point.”

“Of course, your skills are exceptional.” He said looking proud.

“[Y/N]... run.”  Doctor Strange shouted irritating the other Doctor Stephen Strange who gagged him with a spell.

“Please don't hurt him.”

Strange smiled evilly. He was slightly different from the Doctor Strange you knew. He looked mad. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was disheveled. Yet it was him. Scarily him”

“I imagine it must be difficult for you to understand, but this Stephen Strange never deserved you. He's weak, he would never do for you the things I've done, he'd never sacrifice as much as I've sacrificed.”

You were confused, but you let him finish.

“You deserve the best version of me.”

Doctor Strange stumbled to his feet and walked down the stairs approaching. He tried to speak, muttering under the gag. The scary Doctor Strange removed the gag.

“I think there's been a mistake, my relationship with [Y/N] is purely...

“We are friends” You said finishing “We are nothing more than just friends.”

Stephen Strange smirked “Stephen... you are even worse than I imagined. You have no idea how precious she is, what I've done to have her again, the things I've sacrificed and you have her here as a friend?”

“Strange...”  The two looked at you “Is there a version of me in your universe?”

He smiled and now he looked less scary, even sad “There was, but I lost her. Her death is an absolute point in my universe, it's what triggered the events that made me Doctor Strange, therefore immutable. The things I did to bring her back...”

“Are you saying there was no accident?”  Doctor Strange showed his hands to the other Stranger who denied it “In my universe I lost my heart. I lost her” He pointed to you.

It was surreal to admit that other versions of you existed, let alone accept that one of those versions was in love with Stephen Strange.

“I'm sorry”  You said “But I'm not her. Me and Doctor Strange are just friends.”

Stephen Strange smiled “You are her, you just have to remember.”

Stephen seemed to understand what he intended “No, you can put the whole universe in danger using that spell.”

Strange didn't seem to mind “I've already destroyed one universe to save her, I would destroy them all if I had to.”

That creepy Doctor Strange approached you with his black and purple cloak and touched your face and smiled confidently. A portal opened and he dragged you through it.

You were in another Sanctum Sanctorum, but you didn't know where.

“Are we in another universe?”

He smiled “We're at the London’s Sanctum.”

“The masters of this Sanctum. You killed them?”

He didn’t answer.

You went silent, you were at the mercy of a terrifying and infinitely more powerful version of Doctor Strange. You were terrified.

He approached and touched your face “For so long I imagined this moment, now you are here beside me, alive.”

“Strange... I'm not who you expect me to be.”

“Of course you are. You are scared now, but everything will make sense when you remember everything we've lived together.”

“I can't remember something I haven't experienced. In this universe I never fell in love with Doctor Strange.”

He approached dangerously and then kissed you. You were paralyzed.

“We'll make new memories.”

...

“Stark we need you” Doctor Strange entered through a portal in Tony Stark's workshop in the Stark Tower.

Tony stared scared  “Can you stop doing this? You scared me.”

“Yeah... I'm sorry, but I need your help.”

“Another alien attack?”

Doctor Strange shook his head negatively “It's infinitely worse.”

He told Stark about his dark version and everything he knew and that you had been kidnapped.

Tony went silent.

“Tony, It's not your fault, no one could fight him at that stage of power.”

Tony stared at him “How is that possible? If he is you from another universe, how can he be stronger?”

“Centuries of forgotten knowledge, dark magic training, absorption of other magical beings.”  Stephen looked perplexed “I always thought I was irresponsible, especially after everything that happened with Peter Parker, but this is a limit of irresponsibility that I never dreamed of exceeding.”

“And how did he get here?”

“I don't know. But he is here and he is with her.”

“Why? Why he needs her?”

Strange sighed “Because in his universe Stephen Strange and [Y/N] were engaged."

Tony chuckled nervously “Say it again”

“The accident that destroyed my hands, that made me become Doctor Strange, in his universe killed her. He tried to bring her back, learned everything he could for that, but her death is an absolute point in that universe, therefore immutable.”

Tony agreed “So he came to get [Y/N] to take her to his universe."

Tony felt a primal fear of losing you.

“Stark, he destroyed his entire universe to get her back. He won't stop.”

Tony got up “So we’ll stopped him. I won't leave her alone with that lunatic bastard... no offense.”

Doctor Strange sighed “We don't have much time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“There is a spell, dangerous, but theoretically possible. If he uses it... it's irreversible”

“What does it do?”

“He re-signifies the essence of [Y/N] of his universe and condenses her memories..."

“Okay, translate that.”

“He downloads [Y/N]’s memory from his universe into [Y/N]'s mind.”

Tony's eyes widened “What would happen to her? Would it cease to exist? Would we lose her forever?”

“I don't know. This spell has never been used by our order of mages. It's something hideous that requires dark magic. Messing with reality this way, interfering with the multiverse this way…”  Doctor Strange went silent.

Tony held his breath waiting for him to finish explaining.

“I don't know what would happen to her, but I know it would destroy our universe the same way he destroyed his.”

…

You were trapped in London's Sanctum Sanctorum. There was no getting away from this situation, you were dealing with a very powerful sorcerer who had gone completely insane.

You struggled to keep your head straight, trying not to completely freak out. That whole multiverse theory that Loki had talked about, that Doctor Strange had explained, was scary enough in theory, in practice it was just maddening.

Yet something about the whole story moved you in a strange way. How could there be another version of you that was so different from what you are? Such an uncomplicated version, how was that possible?

Wouldn't that [Y/N] have gone through the same traumas as you? Wouldn't she have suffered at the hands of her own family like you did? Wouldn't she have to run away like you and taken shelter in Tony Stark’s Tower?

 You still couldn't conceive the idea that you had a relationship with Doctor Strange. In your universe, Doctor Stephen Strange was someone you rarely spoke to. You couldn't understand how you could be in love with him. But another universe was supposed to mean a completely different life, and in that life you were Doctor Strange's fiancé and you were dead.

Why was fate so cruel to them? You couldn't imagine the pain that Doctor Strange was going through all those years alone, scared trying to bring you back. You could feel that pain somehow and along with it, you could empathize with all of his suffering.

Stephen Strange returned to the hall after some time. You were sitting in an armchair facing the fireplace and you startled when you saw him standing next to you.

“You don't have to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you.”

You nodded. His hair was combed now, his goatee trimmed as if he was trying hard to look more restrained and less scary. He wore a dark tunic with a leather belt at the waist and black boots. Something your universe's Doctor Strange use to wear, but this Doctor Strange had a black and purple cloak instead of the blood red one.

His eyes still had dark circles under them and a haze that made him look like he was a thousand years old, and somehow you didn't doubt that was true. Yet he was terribly like the Doctor Strange you knew.

He sat in another armchair in front of you  “There is a spell, I've been studying it for a few years.”

You nodded, trying to stay calm, but you were terrified. “Will it hurt?”

“Never.”

You nodded “The people I know, my friends... will I forget about them?”

Strange sighed “Possibly. There are no parameters to support us, this spell has never been performed before.”

You went silent having a bad feeling about this. You needed someone to rescue you from that man before he had time to perform such spell.

“Strange... Don't do that” You asked in vain. You knew he'd had that idea fixed in his mind for years, maybe centuries, and he wouldn't give up easily.

He smiled but doesn't respond.

You felt a tightness in your chest. Maybe that was fate calling you. Their love made more sense than your daily madness. But you loved Loki, or at least you thought you loved him, sometimes you wondered if you really knew what love was. All you've ever known is abuse and negligence. You found a sense of brotherhood and friendship with Tony and Natasha and an intimacy with Loki that was strange but very welcome. You weren’t willing to give that up.

“Come on, you need to rest. I'll show you where your room is.”

You followed Strange upstairs and down a long corridor. He opened the door and he entered a spacious room with dark rugs and curtains. The furniture was old Victorian type. You were relieved it wasn't a dungeon.

“Are you hungry? I can order something to eat.”

“I am fine."

He nodded and walked out closing the door behind him and walked to you. You felt your body stiffen as he approached looking at you with eyes you never imagined Doctor Strange looking at you.

Stephen Strange was a handsome guy but you'd never looked at him the way this Stephen Strange wanted you to.

He stopped just inches away from you “The last time we saw each other we were celebrating. I was going to speak at a ceremony and you asked me for Creme Brûlée” His voice was slightly choked “A car hit us on the road. I tried to bring you back so many times, for years... I thought I would never see you again... I can't explain how happy it makes me to have you by my side.”

Your heart raced pounding in your ears. You could almost feel a heat inside rising up. He wasn't crazy, he was just in love... with you. How was that possible?”

He smiled “I'm sorry. I know you don't remember, but something tells me that maybe you can feel it.” He took your hand and placed it on his chest over the tunic “We love each other.”

You instinctively pulled your hand away and backed away. Your chest was warm from those words, you could almost feel something and it scared you. The intensity of his gaze, the words, all that pain. you didn't want to admit it.

“I'm sorry... it's a lot to...”

“I know. Try to rest.”

He left the room and you sat on the bed completely bewildered.

Why was you feeling that way? It was almost as if you could feel something for him, but how could you feel something that hadn't happened to you?

Your mind was in a whirlwind and you suddenly remembered Loki. You needed to see him one last time before you were cosmically brainwashed.

You stayed there in the room watching the place through the window. You've never been to London. You've never been anywhere.

Your mind wandered to your memories with Loki, it was trying to catch up with him.

It was crazy, you'd done it just once and without intending to. You had simply maintained a connection with Loki's mind that had brought him to you, but doing it premeditatedly seemed to me a rather ridiculous idea.

Still you needed to try. You forced yourself to think about what you wanted him to know: "Tony and Doctor Strange need you and Thor right now."

You repeated the phrase in your head, but nothing happened. You didn't know what you wanted to happen. It wasn't like he was going to respond.

You lay down on the bed to rest. your head ached from the exertion and you ended up falling asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night and decided to test the door. It was open.

You left the room walking through the unfamiliar corridors and down the stairs. That Sanctum Santorum was exactly like the one in NY, even the furniture was the same. You had visited the place once with Thor when you went to talk about Loki and his TVA stories, but you hadn't really paid attention to the place until then.

You looked for something that looked like a kitchen and found it, but there was nothing there. Your stomach growled with hunger. You had a glass of water and was walking back to the hall when you heard a loud, frightening noise. When you looked towards the noise you saw Doctor Strange fighting with something that looked like an octopus. You were mesmerized watching him use magic. He was graceful and terrifying at the same time. You've never seen Doctor Strange do the things that Doctor Strange did.

You couldn't believe your eyes: Strange sucked the octopus into him, absorbing it and when he opened his eyes they were like flashes of red light.

The noise ceased and Doctor Strange used magic to repair the damage the fight had done to the hall. He stopped with his back to where you were hiding.

“You can leave now. It's safe.”

You were embarrassed, but walked over to him.

“I was just... looking for something to eat when I heard the noise of the fight... I didn't want to…”

He smiled, but the smile never seemed to reach his eyes. His eyes had deep circles under them and they always looked so sad. His face was scarred, he looked tired and much older than the Doctor Strange from your universe.

“I'll get you something to eat. Sorry, I'm not used to having company.”

You sat in the armchair facing him “It’s okay”

You couldn't help but notice how awkward you felt when in his presence. The fear you felt when you saw him for the first time gradually disappeared and gave way to something different that you didn't understand.

He noticed the way you was looking at him “ You can ask me anything you want”

“How did you do that? The Doctor Strange I know doesn't do that. I think.”

He got serious “Hundreds of years of practice. The Stephen Strange of this universe is very young, he hasn't developed a fraction of the power he can develop.”

You sighed “He is... please don't hurt him.”

He smiled “You told me you didn't feel anything for him.”

You disagreed “I said I wasn't in love with him, but he's a decent man, he helped me when I asked for his help, and he's helped keep things under control here in our universe. He's a good man.”

He agreed “I'm not here to hurt anyone, I just want what's rightfully mine.”

You nodded hesitantly, but you needed to tell the truth “Strange... this isn't going to end well.. it's going to hurt people.”

He looked at you regretfully.

“I saw what you're going to do to this universe. Your interference here will destroy it as it destroyed yours.”

Strange got up in exasperation “I won't give you up. I lost you before, I won't lose you now. Not again”

You were startled by his reaction and noticed that there was blood dripping from his clothes. “You are hurt.”

He shook his head negatively “I'm fine, don't worry.”

You didnt understand why you cared, but you approached him

“Let me see it.”

He sighed in surprise and shrugged off his cloak and untied his tunic baring his chest and back.

You couldn't help but feel the blush on your face.

There was a huge gash on his chest and another on his back as if something had gone through him. “This... needs a doctor.”

“I am a doctor.”

You disagreed “You cannot treat yourself.”

“I've been doing this for centuries.”  He groaned when you touched it “It's not serious, don't worry.”

“Let me help you at least.”

He smiled “There are bandages upstairs.”

He opened a portal and then answered your mute question “I'd better avoid the stairs for the moment.”

You agreed and went with him.

You entered another room very similar to the room you spent the afternoon in. He sat up in bed. A closet door opened with a wave of his hand. You went there and got bandages and alcohol.

“You'll need the suture kit.”

You stared at him perplexed “But I... I don't know...”

“I'll show you how to do it.”

You agreed.

You cleaned the wound as best you could, but it looked so deep. He grimaced every time you touched him, but he didn't object.

When it came time for suturing he showed how you should do it by putting the first stitches on and you continued. You finished in the back cutting the line and glued the bandage.

“Thanks.”

You sat next to him on the bed “What happens to them when you do that?”

He looked at you surprised by the question.

“They die, but their powers merge with mine.”

“Can Stephen do that too?”

“He could if he wanted to, but he won't.”

“How you know?”

“Because he lacks motivation. Only a very strong reason would lead him to use that kind of magic. He didn't lose what I lost.”

You stared at your hands “I wouldn't want to see him...”

“Like me?”

You sighed “Were you like him? It's not fair what happened. I'm very sorry.”

He touched your face “It's been terrible years trying to get you back, but now I have you... at least in parts.”

Loki's face came to your mind. However, at that moment you saw no other way out than to give in to that Strange. After all, if that was your destiny in another universe, wouldn't it be in this one too? Either way, you needed to protect the ones you loved. You couldn't let him destroy your universe.

You touched his face and kissed him. His lips were cautious on yours and his hand touched your hair holding you in that moment. You couldn't deny that something in the moment warmed your heart and you convinced yourself there was no other way.

When your lips parted you felt your face heat up and got up in a hurry “I'll throw this away” You said taking the bloodstained bandages and he didn't object.

You walked out of the room feeling his eyes on your back. How was it possible? Why was you feeling that way?

You got rid of the bandages and went back to the bedroom. You needed a bath, clean clothes, and food. You felt your chest tighten thinking about your apartment in the Stark Tower and Loki. You would give anything to be with Loki in that moment, but you knew you couldn't see him again. If you wanted to stop Doctor Strange from destroying the universe using that spell, you needed to show him that the spell wasn't necessary, that you was capable of loving him as much as you loved in his universe. You needed to make him believe that, even if it meant sacrificing your love for Loki.

The day dragged on and you didn’t see Strange again. It was night when he knocked on your door.

You opened it and he was dressed in an elegant suit and handed you a covered coat rack.

“Get dressed, I'll take you to dinner.”

You agreed surprised. You put on the dress, a strappy midi and heels.

It was particularly cold that night, but you didn't ask.

You tied your hair up and left the room. It was far from neat, but Strange stared at you in amazement and smiled, handing you an elegant black coat.

"Let's go." He held out his hand to you. His hand was smooth it didn't have the strange scars that covered Doctor Strange's hands, and it didn't shake neither.

He took you to a nice restaurant downtown. He drove fast through the busy streets and got out of the car opening the door for you.

You sat at a table in a very private place.

"It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Strange,” said the discreet waiter. "Your wine catalog and menu."

“Thanks.”

He walked away and you watched as everyone kept looking at you.

“I recently discovered that Stephen Strange is some kind of a celebrity in this universe.”

You nodded “He helped save it a few years ago.”

Strange agreed “He and the Avengers, whatever that means” He stared at the wine catalogue.

“They're my friends... the Avengers. They help people, some died fighting.”

He stared at you ignoring what you said “Did you choose what you want to eat?”

“Yes”

He called the waiter and ordered your plates and a red wine which the waiter brought right away.

He served you.

“How are you feeling?” You asked drinking the wine quickly to see if the alcohol helped you to deal with the situation.

“Much better, thanks for helping me.”

He thought for a moment “I've been thinking...”

You stared at him fearfully.

“I imagine your Avengers friends are planning to rescue you, it would be better for everyone if there wasn't a conflict.”

You vehemently agreed.

“I will allow you to return to NY to say goodbye and then I will perform the spell.”

You felt a chill down your spine.

“When?”

“I'll take you to NY tomorrow. We will perform the spell within three days.”

The waiter served your plates, but hunger had completely left you.

He began to eat elegantly and you forced yourself to do the same. How could you convince him not to use that spell?

You finished dinner and Stephen insisted on serving you Creme brûlée. It was far from being your favorite dessert, but you savored it slowly under his thrilled eyes. And that was the hardest, he expected from you what you were in his universe, but you were a completely different person.

You got back to Sanctum Santorum and he walked you to your bedroom door.

“Thank you for the night” He said “I had forgotten what it was like.”

You nodded trying to smile.

“I'm sorry for making you hungry.” He smiled “Good night.”

“Goodnight.”

He walked away and you watched his back and in a rash act you called out to him.

He turned around and you kissed him, he held you tight in his arms and walked into the room and closed the door behind him.

Your lips parted and his hand ran over your face, his thumb caressing your lip. “You’re sure?”

You weren’t sure, but you needed to try. You needed to convince him that you could love him. “Yes”

He kissed you again and your hands unbuttoned his suit.

He pulled you onto his lap and carried you to bed. He took off his suit and tie and kissed you again.

You pulled him by the shirt on top of you. His lips roamed your neck, his hand caressed your thigh lifting the dress.

Your hands unbuttoned his shirt freeing him from it. His chest and back were bandaged. You touched his chest and pushed him down, laying him on the bed and he didn't hesitate. You straddled him, wrapping your legs around his hips.

He moaned softly against your lips and you shrugged off your dress and unbuttoned his pants. Your lips met again and you directed him inside you and moaned loudly.

Your body responded to him with an intimacy that scared you. It was as if making love to Doctor Strange was commonplace.

His kisses were passionate, your bodies moved in sync and you realized you didn't feel bad for the way it satisfied you. It was good.

He rolled over you slowly forcing himself inside you, kissing you and after an indeterminate time lapse to your confused and ecstatic mind, you came together.

He pulled you into his arms. You knew this was the moment to convince him. You don’t even had to lie.

“I can... feel something for you”

He looked at you in surprise and his eyes lit up.

"I can feel it," You said pulling him back to your lips. “It's not a memory, but I feel how happy we were.”

He held you in his arms “You are her.”

You didn't understand what you were doing, You felt strange there in his arms. You liked the feeling of being in his arms. It was confusing and scary and you didn't want to admit it even to yourself.

Kissing him, making love to him had been something so natural it felt ordinary, as if you'd done it dozens of times.

He caressed your face “I know you're afraid of the spell, but I promise you have nothing to fear.”

“I'm not afraid for myself, I'm afraid of the consequences. If everything is destroyed again, how could you be happy?”

He stared at the ceiling “I can make it work.”

“You can't” You said sitting down “I saw it.”

He sat up too, your bodies covered by a thin duvet.

“I went to see Doctor Strange because I needed to alert him to what I had seen.”

“What did you saw?”

“You. Everything around you was disintegrating.”

He sighed “You need to remember”

You caressed his face “I am her, but I am also me. The same person and yet different. Would you be able to love this version of me? Because if not, you're living a fantasy and not reality.”

He sighed regretfully “You speak like her.”

“You can remember for both of us and we can create our own memories.”

What was you doing? How could you promise a life with that man? You just wanted to make sure your universe continued. May the people you loved continue.

He stared at you “But this way she would still be dead.”

You touched his face “No, she's alive because you remember and I'm here. I am her."

Tell me what you think about my stories, leave a comment, I will love to read it. Interact, it really inspires me to continue writing ;)

MASTERLIST

Tag list: @sherlocksgirl91 @polytheatrix @dragonqueen89 @newtsniffles @strangelockd @evelynrosestuff @cute-angi @aisling1985 @whiskeyho @prix1994 @graveyzxbabe @kirithadilitirio @sherlux @xourownsidee @rbymoon @kakashibabe02 @hobimysolecito @geeky-politics-46 @lykaonimagines @d0ct0rstrangewife @classickook @bloodyflowerrr

[postwarlevi]

Happy Thanksgiving

Content: 1.2k words. Asking for help baking this dish turns into trouble.

"Hey, Levi?" You call quietly, standing in the doorway.

He doesn't answer, too preoccupied with piles of paperwork, sitting at his desk in his workroom.

"Sweetheart? I could use your help." You aren't trying to be annoying, knowing he needs to get this done, but it's an emergency.

Levi puts his pen down and sighs. Damn you and that term.

He pushes away from the desk and comes to stand in front of you, eyebrow raised.

"Just, can you just help me cut into them?" You wait for it.

"I showed you how-" He starts.

"It's too hard!" You almost cry.

Levi rolls his eyes and takes you by the hand, leading the way to the kitchen.

"I don't know why I have to help with this." He grumbles.

"Because! Because we're all going and everyone is making a dish and this is ours."

"Yours." He corrects you while you pout.

For the holiday you are having a friendsgiving get together. Everyone started claiming the traditional dishes, Jean called the turkey, Armin the cranberry sauce, Connie a green bean casserole, Sasha the mashed potatoes, Erwin a stuffing, and so on. You saw this great idea for a squash casserole and without even thinking put that down.

Now however, you wish you hadn't. The dish needs pumpkin, acorn and butternut squash, and you forgot how hard it is cutting them open. In fact, you never tried again since the first time.

But you couldn't change your mind now. The others thought it sounded great and stores were running out of things anyway.

"Thank you." You say to Levi, who with barely any effort already has the pumpkin in half. You start scooping out the seeds while he works on the butternut, your worst enemy.

He finishes the task you give him before you even get through the entire pumpkin and without a word goes back to his office.

You get the squash into the oven and start pulling out measuring cups for sugar and maple syrup and things to mix in, and forty minutes later you are meekly knocking on the door again.

"Hey, Levi-"

"What do you need?" This time he interrupts you.

"Can you help me scoop? They're really hot."

"So wait until they're not." Obviously.

"Well, I know, but everything is set to go in and the oven is still on..." You trail off, listing reasons.

Levi not so gently slams his pen back down and is heading to the kitchen again.

He knows, that you know, that he wants these papers done so he can actually relax for a bit, but instead you're delaying it. However, he's always told you to come to him for help. Which includes now.

The three squash are now in a large bowl with the other ingredients and you are mixing while Levi is buttering a pan, then helps you pour the mixture in.

"Anything else?" He's a little irritated, but at least it's done.

"No, I can finish the topping myself." You step forward, right in front of him.

"Okay." He says as you wrap your arms around him.

"Thank you." You say softly, feeling his arms around you.

"You're welcome." Holding you like this always helps his mood, even if it was your fault to begin with.

Levi kisses your forehead and is going back to finish when you call to him again.

"Yes?" He turns around, unsuspecting.

You scoop out a spoonful of leftovers and fling it at him, hitting his chest and watching it fall in a mess onto the floor.

Levi stands there with his eyes shut, trying to figure out if he even believes what you just did.

You however can't stop giggling.

"Are you serious?" He wants to know, making you laugh harder.

"I'm sorry, I'll clean it." You wet a paper towel and do your best to fix his shirt.

"After I just stopped my work to help you." Did you forget already?

"Levi, it's fine." It's a harmless joke.

"This is the thanks I get?" There's something in his voice you're not sure of.

"It's not that bad." You say as you lean over to wipe up the floor.

"So you say." Your eyes widen, because in an instant he has shoved his whole hand into the bowl and has sent you running for cover.

Without any regard for the kitchen, he throws what he can at you, having it smack into your neck.

"Ugh! Stop!" This is so much worse than what you did.

"Stay still!" He insists, opening up a container.

"What are you doing?!" You exclaim, seeing what he has.

"You love brown sugar so much? Have some!" He's got a hold of your shirt and is smearing it all in your hair.

You are left in tears partially from laughing as you try to get him back and a bit because you really are crying at the mess he's making.

You end up sitting on the floor trying to figure out if there's more of a mess on you or all over the kitchen. Flour, oats and even maple syrup have been used as weapons as well, also leaving you wondering if there's enough for the topping. Levi isn't nearly as bad off.

"Clean this up." He tells you.

"What?"

"This is your mess. I'm going to go shower." He says, already taking his shirt off. You can just consider this payback for forcing him into this.

"Are you kidding me!?" Now you really are crying.

He actually leaves you there, trying to figure out how to clean everything.

You whine and pout to no one, forcing yourself up to make the topping and get the pan back into the hot oven to finish.

Fifteen minutes later you've barely gotten anywhere with the scrubbing.

"Stop your sniffling." Levi has reappeared, hair wet and towel around his waist.

"I don't deserve this!" You cross your arms, feeling defeated. You are a sticky train wreck of food.

You are horrified when Levi chuckles. "It's not that bad."

"How dare you!" Use those words against you when it is very much so that bad!

He takes the cloth from you and leads you out of the kitchen.

"It's not that bad, because after we wash the sugar out of your hair, I'll help you clean." He says with that soft smile you love so much.

Oh. Well that's different. "Really?" You aren't sure if he's messing with you.

"You didn't think I'd just leave you there, did you?" You should know him better than that.

"I, wasn't sure." It seemed like he was going to.

"Besides, I need your help with paperwork." You are going to help make up for lost time.

"Okay." You easily agree to this, thankful that he really is always willing to help you.

You, him and the kitchen are spick and span in no time, and before sundown the paperwork is done as well.

Even if Levi might complain, he's thankful that you get him away from his desk and that food fights don't happen often.

The next day at friendsgiving, your dish is a hit.

Levi pretends he didn't hear you say you'll be making it again.

----------

a/n-good luck if you're baking! If anyone messed with this dish I really would cry cause it takes some work, but is really yummy!

[wisewidow]

Hello, Your Parents Want Me To Have Your Babies

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

SUMMARY: Melina, my workplace’s neighbour, wants to set me up with her daughter.

I'd only ever hear about Natasha every couple of weeks, when her adoptive father, the mechanic that owned the garage workshop beside my father's cafe slash bar, met up with my uncle for beers one day last year. Ever since then, our families have been loosely intertwined, friendly but not too close. Alexei fixed my mom's wrecked car for a cheap price, in return I let his youngest daughter Yelena have free coffees whenever she pops over.

From what my father told me, Alexei's entire family, including his wife, were all involved in the family business of repairing cars, except for his eldest daughter: Natasha, who turned out to be an FBI agent living in Quantico. Dad says they're proud of her but they miss her.

"(Y/N)," my brother calls from the kitchen. I put down my phone and find him balancing three plates of sandwiches and a salad in his spindly arms.

He opens his mouth to explain the orders, but I cut him off.

"Alexei," I say, pointing to the bacon and egg sandwich. "A salad for Melina. The tuna and tomato roll is Yelena's. Did they want drinks?"

Peter nods. "Four coffees and a large bottle of water, they already have them."

I ruffle his hair to thank him and grab the plates, balancing the third on my forearm until I can place it on a tray. I carry it outside, years of waitressing practice keeping it balanced, and head towards the garage.

"Melina?" I call. Moments later the raven haired woman slips out of the office and smiles. She yells something in Russian that causes Yelena to slide out from under a silver BMW, covered in black grease. Alexei appears moments later wielding a spanner.

They hound me for their orders, gratefully patting my shoulder and carrying their food away to their separate stations. Yelena disappears into the shadows with her sandwich, and her father to his desk, but Melina simply brightens and says, "(Y/N), have you heard? Natalia is visiting."

"Yes!" Alexei yells around a mouthful of bread. "Family, reunion! Grandbabies!"

Melina hisses something in their mother tongue. I laugh, and then ask if Natasha was bringing her kids, though I wasn't aware she had any.

"He means nothing of it, Natalia is focused on work at the moment. Too focused, I think. No babies. No partner."

"Tell her about her penthouse!" Alexei encourages.

Melina flaps a hand at him in irritation. "Yes, well, she has broken up with Bruce, the shy scientist from work. And then Sharon, charming field operative, also from work. And now she refuses to date. Because of work."

I chuckle nervously. "Where are you going with this?"

Melina smiles innocently. "Nowhere. What happened to your last girlfriend, again? Your father mentioned something about . . ."  The look in her eyes is enough to egg me on, though the subject is one I rarely speak of these days.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I say, "Carol left to travel Europe."

"Shame," she nods sympathetically. "You don't seem bothered. Are you not looking for a relationship?"

"Not actively, but I'm sure another troublemaker will find me. I don't have a good track record of steady relationships," I admit.

"Neither does Natalia!" Alexei shouts.

"Oh!" I say. "Does she want Carol's number? Or my friend Harley, she's not looking for commitment."

Yelena snickers. Alexei frowns. Melina chuckles. "No, no, Natalia needs someone she doesn't work with, and you need someone serious, and we need grandbabies before we die, since Yelena neglects it."

I flush a bright red. "Grandb— I'm— okay, first of all, neither of us have the equipment for that—"

"Neither did Dad," Yelena pipes up, referring to the fact that she and her sister were adopted.

"Hey!"

"(Y/N)!" Peter calls, rounding the corner. "Ned's coming over to pick me up, we need to finish our physics project. Uncle Ben should be here soon, can you manage the bar until he gets here?"

I jump onto the excuse and yell back affirmation, say a quick goodbye to Melina before speed-walking back to the cafe.

Peter leaves with Ned soon after, and Ben arrives at around the same time. I move to the kitchens while he takes over serving our regulars, as he's friendlier with them than me.

I work on making more sandwiches and tapas meals until four, when my shift ends. I kiss Uncle Ben on the cheek and head home.

The smell of paprikash greets me as I unlock the door to my apartment, which I guess means that my roommate is home. I call out a hello to her and head to the shower.

I groan happily as the hot water rains down on my front. I close my eyes and lean my head back, thinking over how strange the day had been, and lose myself in a trance of relaxation.

"(Y/N/N)!" Wanda barges in. I jump and almost slip grabbing the shower curtain to cover my body as I peek out at her.

"I'm naked," I hiss.

She ignores me and holds up two clothes hangers. "Pantsuit or dress?"

I push my wet hair out of my face. "Uh, are you bar-hopping with Vision or going to a family dinner?"

"Get together with some friends," she explains. "Vis, Sam, Steve and some guy named Bucky who I'm informed we're supposed to be pretending Steve isn't in love with, do you know him?"

"Nope."

"Okay, well, he's bringing some friends, so I'm bringing you. Don't make that face, you know almost everyone."

"I don't feel like getting drunk," I complain.

"Good! You can be the designated driver. Pantsuit or dress?"

Grumbling, I tell her, "Dress."

"Okay, thanks, you wear the pantsuit, be ready by seven. May the Force be with you!"

She ducks as I throw my shampoo bottle at her. We bicker and mock and tease as I pat myself dry and she changes into the scarlet dress.  While she braids her hair, I carefully slip into the navy and white striped pantsuit, and we move into her bedroom to make use of her vanity, since the sun's lowering position in the sky shone straight into the window while my room would be encased in dimness by now. I sit in the chair and she leans over me, brushing her eyelashes with delicate mascara.  We fall into our normal going-out-getting-ready rhythm, periodically handing each other different brushes, comparing lipstick shades, and commenting on our days. She tells me about her brother's latest shenanigans and I make the grave mistake of commenting on Melina's attempted set-up earlier today, much to Wanda's entertainment. The two had never met but they both shared the pure ecstasy that came with matchmaking involving me.

"Do you think she's pretty?" Wanda wonders.

"I've seen photos," I shrug. "She's a redhead. Yelena says she changes hairstyles often."

"That doesn't answer my question! Pretty redhead or no?"

"They were baby photos, Wanda! I didn't have an opinion on her looks past the Wonder Woman pajamas."

She hums, and turns to draw a small heart under my left eye with her gel liner pen. "It would be nice if you wound up with her, but if you do fall madly in love with her beautiful red locks and decide to move to Washington to marry her and have her babies, I will murder you. You pay your rent on time and you're fun and please, please do not make me move back in with my brother."

"Why does everyone keep bringing up babies?" I yell.

An hour later we're pulling up to the bar in the back of  a cab arguing about getting a cat. The debate of whose bathroom would host the litter tray is interrupted by Wanda spotting Vision through the window and quickly smacking my arm and hissing at me to hurry up and pay so she can sneak in and scare him. Unfortunately, I can't locate my purse inside my bag.

"(Y/N), (Y/N), go, go, go . . ."

"Wanda, Wanda, going, going, going . . . Aha!" I pay the driver and find myself being ushered inside before I can put my purse back in my bag.

Sam, a friend of Wanda's from college, ends up foiling her evil master plan by pointing her out as soon as she walks in the door. Vision, being a good sport, pretends to be startled when she yells "BOO!" in his ear. As she cackles manically before sliding into the chair beside him, I notice the only free space is by the pretty blonde woman beside a man with brown hair pulled into a bun.

"Oh, look who I dragged out with me!" Wanda exclaims, taking a sip of Vision's drink and making a grand gesture with her hands. "(Y/N)!"

I'm greeted with a chorus of hello's. I bow and grin as I sit by the woman and offer a polite smile. Steve leans over points to the brunet man. "This is Bucky, we were close as friends. As kids. We were close as friends, when we were kids."

Sam snorts into his beer.

Steve clears his throat awkwardly. "And this is his partner from work, Nat."

I get a closer inspection and my eyes widen in shock. "Natalia?"

"Her name is Natasha." Steve corrects.

"I thought her name was Natalie?" Vision frowns.

"She goes by Nat, who cares?" Sam shrugs.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova?" Wanda yelps. "(Y/N)! You didn't tell me this was the Natalia!"

"The what? I— Do I know you two?" Natasha asks, bewildered.

"Not me!" Wanda says, and then makes a motion for zipping her lips shut.

Everyone turns to me. I chuckle nervously. "I should probably explain. Hi, I'm (Y/N), your parents want me to have your babies."

[wanderinginksplot]

One-Shot: Sev + Motto

Sev x gn!reader fic, features the rest of Delta Squad as supporting characters.

Word Count: 1400 or so

Warnings: reader receives minor injuries (burns) on a mission

---

"Play di’kutla games, win di’kutla prizes."

If you had heard Sev say it once, you had heard him say it a thousand times.

Working with Delta Squad was normally fine. Honestly, it was outright entertaining on a regular basis. As an expert in untraceable comms, you were often partnered with commando squads. Infiltrating enemy planets was a norm in your job, and you made sure the squads could communicate with each other and nearby GAR ships regardless of which side controlled the planetside communications systems.

Delta was one of your favorite groups. Fixer was direct and to-the-point, efficient beyond all else. Scorch was side-splittingly funny, even in the middle of an intense battle. Sev was funny as well, though his humor was darker and full of wickedly clever observations. Boss was a natural leader, and he never felt the need to throw his authority around to make a point. More importantly, Delta Squad accepted you as one of their own, and your work with them was seamless in a way it wasn’t among other commando squads.

Of course, that also meant that you were subject to the same treatment as any other member of Delta Squad.

“Watch your fingers!” Fixer warned. “Heat gloves are standard issue for a reason.”

“Does it look like I have time to put on gloves?” you demanded. “Focus on covering me, and I’ll get this done.”

Two minutes, forty-seven seconds later, you had finished setting up the tower and taken a major step toward establishing communications on the Separatist-controlled planet. You would never admit it to Fixer, but you had thoroughly burnt several of your fingers on the superheated durasteel of the communication diverter’s inner core.

Crawling back through the brush to avoid enemy detection was awful. It may not have been so bad, but the burns were scattered across both of your hands and they were already beginning to blister.

You made it back in good time, despite the injuries you were trying to hide. Boss and Scorch had been the other team, going to plant detonators in the appropriate spots. Despite the comparative complexity of your task, you and Fixer were the first ones back. Sev was there to greet you, scowling at the pair of you.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled.

“Excuse me, are we not the first team to finish?” you asked, satisfaction clear in your voice.

“Yeah, but if you had been faster, we would have an update on Boss and Scorch by now,” Sev countered. “You know how Scorch gets around too many thermal dets. He may have blown himself up by now and we missed it.”

“Considering how many detonators he had, I’m sure we would have seen the explosion from here,” Fixer told him.

You laughed at the solid point - half because Fixer was funny when he wanted to be and half to release the anxiety and adrenaline of a successfully completed stealth mission.

Fixer leveled an unimpressed look at you. “Besides, some of us could spend this time treating the injuries we’re trying to hide.”

“You got hurt?” Sev asked, frowning at you. From any other squad, it might have sounded like concern, but you immediately spotted it for what it was: a vague irritated belief that you would slow them down.

"Barely," you snorted. "Minor burns, nothing to worry about."

"Until the blisters pop and leave you open to infection," Fixed countered, already taking over the observation post Sev had been manning. "Oh-Seven, take care of it, please? I'm not up to playing medic right now."

"Oh, so I have to?" Sev griped.

You stood up, throwing a look of disgust at the pair. "I think I'll patch myself up, thanks."

You had barely cracked open Delta Squad's first aid kit when heavy footsteps warned that someone had followed you. You ignored Sev's red-streaked armor as he stepped up behind you, focusing instead on spreading bacta gel across the tender burns on your hands.

"Here, just- Would you let me do that?" Sev asked impatiently, taking the gel from your hands.

"I could do it myself," you told him, a little pointlessly, since he had already taken over.

"I know you could, but it'll be faster if you let me."

Sev had removed his helmet, and he had the stubborn set to his jaw that warned that he wasn't going to let this go. Rather than waste both of your time, you rolled your eyes and stuck out your hands. He knelt in front of you, the kit open beside him, and started to apply the bacta gel.

He worked in silence for a few minutes, callused fingers oddly gentle against your skin, until you couldn't take it anymore. "Go ahead, say it."

"Say what?" Sev asked, looking up at you with a frown on his scarred face.

"What you always say," you explained with a frown of your own. "Come on, it's basically your motto."

"I don't have a motto," Sev told you slowly. "I'm not some idiot with a motto. I'm not Scorch."

"Okay, but you can't think of a single phrase you repeat often?" You pressed. "Especially when someone gets hurt doing something you think is stupid?"

"Not really," Sev denied, clearly puzzling it over.

You watched him, aghast at the idea that you had been making up his insulting phrase. As he turned his attention back to your burns, you caught a glimmer in his eye and you nudged him with your foot.

"That's not funny, Sev!" you tried your best to sound furious, but the way you were laughing detracted from the effect. Sev chuckled along with you. "I thought I was going insane!"

"I wouldn't say it to you," Sev said, finishing the last bandage.

You stared at him. "Yeah, of course not. It isn't like you've said it to me multiple times in past missions."

"Well, those, you actually had done something stupid and you got what you deserved," he told you mercilessly. "But this time, you got hurt trying to complete a mission."

"Yeah, but I wasn't wearing the proper gear," you countered.

Sev didn't look impressed, picking up one of your carefully bandaged hands as he spoke. "I know burns, and heat gloves wouldn't have saved you here. Maybe the burns would have been less intense, but we would also be picking melted synthweave out of your hands."

You squeezed Sev's hand since it was still wrapped around your own. "Thanks for making me feel better, Sev, and for taking care of my hands."

"Well, I have to make sure my favorite comm specialist is willing to work with us again," Sev told you, helping you to your feet.

You had never taken a step away, and from your position standing close to Sev, you stared up with a dumb grin spreading across your face. "I'm your favorite comm specialist?"

"You're my favorite anything specialist," he told you and you beamed at him. To your complete shock, he returned your smile, his handsome face glowing with the quiet happiness of the moment.

You began to speak, though you had no idea what you planned to say. Unfortunately - or fortunately - you were interrupted by the arrival of Sergeant Boss and Scorch. Delta Squad's leader was supporting Scorch, who limped along making exaggerated noises of pain.

"Scorch, what happened? Are you okay?" you asked, horrified that he had been hurt.

"I didn't bring enough fuse," Scorch answered, immediately dropping his pained attitude - though his limp didn't change a bit. "Had to run from the site and I twisted my ankle."

"Well, play di'kutla games, win di'kutla prizes," Sev told him sourly as you shot him a disbelieving grin.

"Yeah, yeah," Scorch muttered. "This team doesn't appreciate my talents."

"Talents," Fixed scoffed.

"Of course!" Scorch replied, sounding offended. "It takes talent to get hurt this often and not die."

"The Kaminoans may have bred us for tenacity, but I don't think that's what they had in mind," Boss told him. "There's something to be said for learning from your mistakes."

"Isn't anyone on my side?" Scorch complained, eyeing you pointedly.

You sighed, but threw him some sympathy anyway. "I'm on your side, Scorch. I'm glad you're okay."

Fixer cut short Scorch's gloating. "That's only because you weren't the only one who was injured doing something stupid today."

Scorch gave you a commiserating nod. "Did Sev give you the speech, too?"

You glanced up at Sev. The scarred commando was watching you as he tried to bite back a smile. You shot him a subtle wink and said, "Yeah, something like that."

---

A/N - dedicated to myself, because I say "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" way too often for someone who is usually the one playing the stupid game. Feel free to visit my masterlist for other one-shots and series, or make a request!

[deexchanel]

TFATWS

Word Count: 2,923

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x BlackFem!Reader

Warning: Swearing, arguing.

Summary: Y/N rides along with Sam, Zemo and Bucky to Madripoor.

A/N: I know this episode is over used but I write this and I just wanted to give you guys something after been absent for so long. My birthday is next week and I’m excited. Enjoy this one-shot.

They followed Zemo to his personal jet. An older man stood at the end of the stairs waiting on their arrival.

"So all this time you've been rich?" Sam asked looking at the jet. Y/N walked between him and Bucky behind Zemo. She hasn't really been talking to Bucky because of their argument.

It was basically about how he disappeared on her. He left without warning. The only reason the previous couple is around each other now because Y/N was there when Sam gave up the shield and decided to stay by his side through the journey. That’s how she ended up here on a plane with someone that broke her heart.

The reason why Bucky left because he’s scared to love. He’s scared that’s she was going to leave him because of his past since it was too much for her. So Bucky left and still hasn’t told her the reason why he did.

"I'm a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country." Zemo replied then spoke to the older gentleman in Russian. After the men greet each other the trio followed Zemo into the jet.

Bucky placed a hand on Y/N’s lower back to help her up the stairs, but she pushed his hand off. She had every right to be mad at him. Y/N really loves Bucky but he can't just leave her whenever he gets the chance.

Y/N sat in the chair in front of Zemo with Sam beside him and Bucky beside her. She nervously looked out the window, Y/N isn’t a big fan of heights.

"The fridge is out. But I will see if there is some good food in the galley." The man said to Zemo who replied in Sokovian. My nerves were getting really bad, She starts to fumble with her fingers.

"Y/N you okay?" Sam’s voice laced with concern. She turns to see them staring at her like a worried parent. Y/N gave them a small smile trying to ease their worries.

"I'm fine."

"Just checking Y/N. Why don't you tell us about where we are going Zemo?" Sam asked looking at Zemo for answers.

Zemo opened a book, "I'm sorry, I was just fascinated by this. I don't know what to call it but this part seems to be important." He pulled a little book that was inside the bigger book holding it up.

"Who is Nakajima?"

Bucky swiftly gets up wrapping his gloved hand around his neck. Y/N’s eyes widened from seeing how worked up he got up from that. All the nervousness about flying left her body.

"What the hell James??"

"If you touch that again, I'll kill you." Bucky seethed then unwrapped his hand from around Zemo's neck sitting back down. Y/N rolled her eyes at how dramatic he was. Deep down she wished it was her he was putting into place but no one needs to know that. (Our little secret.)

"I understand that list of names. People you've wronged as the Winter Soldier." Zemo said obviously not phased by what just happened.

"Don't push it," Bucky warned glancing at him then towards Sam.

"I've seen that book. It was Steve's when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What'd you think?" Sam amused but Bucky kept a straight face.

"I like '40s music, so..."

" '40s music? You definitely need to put me on some good music then." Y/N said engaging in their conversation. She thought it was kinda cute that he held on to the book Steve had. Bucky gave her a small smile.

"Whenever I get the chance, I will. Just for you."

Y/N bit her lip to keep from smiling to keep up the ‘I’m mad at him' act. But it wasn’t working.

"You didn't like it?" Sam asked shocked.

"I liked it." Bucky said giving him the face of 'duh I liked it.'

"It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience." Zemo said in the most formal way possible. Y/N gave a humorous smile nodding her head.

"That was one of the best ways to explain it."

"He's out of line, but he's right. It's great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye" Sam agreed as if Bucky didn't agree. Y/N laughed at what he was doing.

"Sam, why are you still going on about it? James literally agreed."

"I like Marvin Gaye." Bucky continues looking at him.

"Steve adored Marvin Gaye," Sam said bringing up another memory of Steve.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me." Y/N held up the finger going to the mini bathroom. She struggled so damn hard in that small ass bathroom trying not to fall on her ass. Y/N soon came out to hear them talking about Madripoor.

"What's up with Madripoor? You talk about it like it's Skull Island." Sam questioned looking between the two who used to be villains.

"It's an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a private sanctuary back in the 1800s." Bucky starts while Zemo finished telling them the information.

"It's kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone."

Y/N glanced at Bucky who tensed up at those words. I knew it was going to be hard on him. Sitting back down in her seat, She moved the hair that was in her face.

"So who do I go as?"

"Miss Sapphire, one of the richest lady there. She models for every company you can think of." Zemo said showing Y/N a picture of a woman who looked exactly like her.

"Ooo I think I'm going to like this," Y/N smirked looking at the outfit that she was going to have to put on. She knew Bucky wasn't going to like it but oh well, its part of the job.

——————

Y/N was beside Sam as they walked down this empty bridge. She kept sneaking glances at Bucky because he looked so good with his new arm. Y/N didn’t know she staring too long when his eyes linked with hers. She quickly looked away, face turning really hot.

"We have to fix this. I'm the only one who looks like a pimp." Sam complained touching his suit. Y/N rolled her eyes, her feet were starting to hurt from walking for so long.

"Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp," Zemo said. Y/N’s walk began to turn into limping which made her fall behind a little.

A little "Ow." came from her mouth, grabbing Bucky's attention. He slowed down walking beside Y/N.

"You okay?"

"I'm good."

"No, you're not. You just said 'Ow'. What's wrong?"

"None of your business James. I'm okay."

"So you’re calling me James now? And I know your feet are hurting Y/N. Let me help."

Y/N decided to be stubborn even though she wanted to get off her feet so badly. "It's always been, James. I'm able to handle myself, I can take the pain."

Bucky rolled his eyes, in a matter of seconds, Y/N was in his arms bridal style. Not in the mood to argue, Y/N looked everywhere but him.

"And it's Bucky to you. It's always and forever going to be that to you."

"Before you left, it was Bucky. Now it's James. You know what, I can walk myself." She moved but his grip tightened not wanting her to get out of his arms.

"No, I'm going to continue to carry you," Bucky said but Y/N didn't respond which made it quiet between them. She fought the urge to look at him since she was mad.

"I saw you looking at me and my arm."

She looked up at him fulfilling her urge and they made eye contact. Y/N quickly looked away nervously "Um, no I wasn't."

Bucky let out a laugh, "You indeed was."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Guys! for the love of God, shut up!"Sam scolded from in front of them.

"He started it!" Y/N replied back like a little kid. Bucky laughed a little then sigh.

"Y/N, you've barely said a word to me today. Did I do something?"

She scoffs getting irritated from that dumb-ass question. "DiD I dO sOmEtHiNg?? Huh? Bucky stop talking to me before I say something I might regret."

"What? Y/N I just asked a question." Bucky said in defense. She huff rolling her eyes, 'a dumb ass question at that'

"No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There's no margin for error." Zemo explained as the car came into view on the bridge. Bucky placed her down on her feet when they neared it, opening the door for Y/N who climbed in the middle seat.

——————

"Here we are."

Walking into the bar they could feel the intense stares. Bucky glared at anyone that looked in her direction. Y/N had to fight off any instinct to grab his hand. It wasn’t the appropriate time to do it.

You could hear the whispers of the crowd looking at them. "Is that the Winter Soldier?". Zemo guided them directly to the bar. A tall dark skin man walked over to the trio so they could order.

"Hello, lady and gentlemen. Wasn't expecting to see you, Sapphire and Smiling Tiger."

"His plans changed." Zemo nodded towards Sam. "We have business to do with Selby."

The bartender looked at Sam,"The usual? Anything for you Ms. Sapphire?"

Sam nodded his head while Y/N replied, "No, Thank you." The bartender turned around grabbing a dead snake out of a glass jar. She covered up her mouth to keep from gagging. Y/N turn to Bucky shaking her head no.

"Ah, Smiling Tiger, your favorite." I heard Zemo say from behind Y/N. She would’ve laughed but Y/N wanted to puke at the moment. She knew Sam had drunk it when Bucky looked the other way to keep from I guess laughing.

Y/N moved to the side of Bucky when a man walked up to Zemo from behind. "I got word from on high. You ain't welcome here."

"I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me." Zemo then pointed towards Bucky.

"New haircut?" The man asked but Bucky just stared.

"Or bring Selby for a chat." Zemo continued his deal. The man walked away not even giving an answer.

"A Power Broker? Really?" Bucky finally spoke up.

"Every kingdom needs its king. Let's just pray we stay under his radar." Zemo explained.

"Do you know him?" Sam whispered not wanting to give himself away.

"Only by reputation," Zemo replied. "In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner."

Y/N leaned against the bar with my back facing the crowd. She felt a hand being placed on her lower back. The other hand moved Y/N’s hair from the side to show her neck.

"Sapphire, baby, we didn't get to finish from last night. Let's get out of here."

Y/N prepared to punch him but stopped herself when she heard Zemo say "Зимний Солдат, Атака" ( Winter Soldier, Attack.)

Y/N turn around to see it was a different man this time. He had a smirk on his face, as his index finger touched her bottom lip slowly then used the rest of his fingers running down her exposed chest.

Y/N had never felt so disgusted in her life. His fingers stopped on her boob when Bucky's metal hand swiftly grabbed it, crushing his hand.

You could tell that Bucky was so angry for him even getting close to Y/N. The man grunts out in pain as both of them walked away from her while Bucky still clutched on his hand.

The pair shared a quick look. The way he eased back into his Winter Soldier character bothered her a bit. Maybe he had it like a switch?

Y/N winced not really wanting to see none of the combat taking place so she turned around with her back facing the crowd.

She didn’t want him to feel he can protect her all the time. Y/N didn’t want to seem so dependent on him especially if he isn’t going to always be in the picture. When Y/N needed him, he wasn't there. Getting out of her thoughts when Bucky slammed the man that touched Y/N on top of the bar holding on to his neck, eyes never leaving his face.

Everyone around them starts to take their gun off safety. Y/N’s heart starts to pound as she looked around. Zemo placed a hand on Bucky's arms whispering.

"Stay in character or the whole bar turn on us."

Zemo says something else in Russian which makes Bucky let go of the man. "Selby will see you now." The bartender announced.

"Thank you," Zemo said then walked off.

"You good?" Sam asked Bucky concerned. He looked at me but Y/N quickly glanced at them then followed behind Zemo not uttering a word.

—————————-

Turns out Y/N wasn’t the one she wants to talk to since she was just some famous model. She had to stand in the hallway and wait on them. Y/N was so uncomfortable, especially with what she had on.

Y/N heard a gunshot which makes her kick in the door. Both Bucky and Sam aimed the gun at her then lowered it.

"What the hell happened in here?!" Y/N asked seeing the bodies on the floor.

"We'll explain later, let's go," Bucky said grabbing her hand and they all walked out of the building. They walked through the streets hearing surrounding people phones going off

"This is not good," Zemo said looking around at the people who looked on their phones. They near the end of the street when bullets aimed at us. Bucky pulled Y/N to him as they ran in one direction.

"I can't run in these heels!" Sam yelled while he ran.

"You better learn today!" Y/N yelled back holding on to Bucky's hand since it was in the heat of the moment, not wanting to let go.

——————

Sharon help killed off the bounty hunters they had on us. At the moment Y/N was in the bathroom getting ready for the party she was having. Finished with getting dressed, she walked out of the bathroom running into a hard chest.

"Oops sorry!"

"It's an okay doll."

Y/N gave him a small smile then began to walk to the room where everyone else was until Bucky grabbed her hand.

"Why didn’t answer my question from earlier? What did I do?"

"You know what you did Bucky. Is there I need to say?"

"I think I know what I did? I don’t know Y/N. Just talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

"To answer your dumb-ass question, you did do something wrong. You act like everything's okay between us when it's not! Bucky, you left me. Like disappeared on me without explaining why!"

"I knew telling you that I was leaving would crush you. I didn't want you to be hurt over the fact that I left." Bucky rubbed his hand over his mouth.

"Leaving you was the best way to protect you. I'm feared by many but that still doesn't mean you aren't going to be a target to hurt me."

"Best way to protect me?! You leaving hurt me way more than what you think it did. You're worried about protection but not focusing on my feels. You said you love me but you left like it wasn't nothing." I groan flustrated raising my voice. He couldn’t look at Y/N and it raised her suspicion.

“You’re lying Bucky? What is it? What is the truth.”

“Y/N... Please.”

“Bucky tell me!”

"I was scared Y/N! Scared that you were already planning to leave because of my past. I know I shouldn’t have left when you needed me but I didn’t know what to do. You deserve better than me Y/N.” Bucky confessed as his head dropped. I placed my hand under his chin so he could look me in the eyes.

“Bucky I could’ve told me. You leaving hurt me more than what you think it did. I love you and that means that I’ll understand anything you’re going through. I don’t deserve better, and I don’t want better. I want you Bucky. You’re not alone in this baby I swear.”

Bucky pulled Y/N to his chest, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry baby. I love you too Y/N so much.” He kissed Y/N’s forehead.

“Oh and I wanted to kill him so badly but I knew you weren't going to like that so I stopped."

"You know me so well."

Bucky apologized again, “I’ve missed you so much. I can’t wait to make up.” He began to kiss on her neck making Y/N tilt her head to the side so he could have more access.

"Hm, I'll accept it if you dance on the dance floor with me."

"No! God no. I'll do anything but that. You know I don't like dancing." Bucky pulled back groaning but she gave him the puppy eyes.

"Please? Or I'm going to stay mad at you."

Bucky rubbed his hand over his face, "Fine."

Y/N smiled jumping in his arms and they rested under her butt to keep her held up.

"Yayyy!! This is going to be fun."

"I’m only doing this for you baby.”

“That’s the best part.”

———————-

This took a long ass time to edit but I hope you guys like it. Like I said earlier I know this episode is overused but I had written this when tfatws was still airing so yeah.

I’m posting something since I haven’t posted in so long.

If this one-shot doesn’t make sense let me know cause it’s almost 3 am while I’m trying to edit and add stuff to this and I’m so sleepy 😂

Thank you for reading!

Stay slutty my friendsss 💕

[kindofwriter]

Just that bit of 177, but as a TV show script, because I have Ideas and no animation skills.

ID (unfortunately) under the cut, bc it’s literally thousands of words long.

ZOLF: Wilde, just talk to me honestly. Why are you... why...

WILDE: (ANGRY NOW) I'll tell you what: I'll talk to you honestly when you talk to me honestly

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

ZOLF: (HESITANT) I am-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING) Just say- Just say the words! 'Wilde, we need you to fix it again. Wilde, it's gone wrong, help! Wilde, solve this problem! Wilde; won't take long!'

With each sentence spoken WILDE's appearance changes: we watch him grow older. First we see him as ZOLF first met him: older, but still colourful and fresh-faced. Then we recognise his shorn hair and gaunt features from Damascus. Then, a flash of the man ZOLF has known for the past year: hair at an awkward, choppy length, practical clothes, tired eyes. And finally: thin and exhausted, with a jagged scar splitting across his face. He remains this way as he continues to speak.

WILDE: (ANGER BLURRING INTO UPSET) Just give me one of them! Just talk to me honestly, for the first time! Just, what is it? What- What needs fixing? What's gone wrong? What's on fire? 

WILDE gestures, almost absent-mindedley, out of the window.

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF ZOLF

ZOLF is silhouetted in front of the window, which no longer shows an idyllic Paris day, but is instead reminiscent of the riots and looting that ensued after Mr Ceiling. A plume of smoke curls up out of Eiffel's folly.

CUT BACK TO WILDE

WILDE: Who died? What do I actually need to fix here? Because right now, this is the first chance I've had in I don't know how long. I've got finals coming up-

Suddenly WILDE is young and irritated again.

WILDE: I've got all of the interviews that are lined up on top, and everything's piling up, and all I've got are people asking me to fix things, and I keep doing it, and I keep fixing everything, brilliant. So, tell me, Zolf, I thought we were friends, but no. What do I need to fix?

ZOLF takes one hesitant, shuffled step towards WILDE.

ZOLF: (GENTLY )You don't have any-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING )Do you want to cheat off me? Is that it? It's fine. Cheat off me, like everyone else does. It's. Fine.

WILDE drops his gaze, turning towards the garden.

ZOLF: (ANNOYED NOW) You don't have uni! You don't have exams! You don't have interviews! You. Are. Dead!

WILDE turns slightly back towards ZOLF and strokes a finger along his face, where his scar used to be.

ZOLF: You have no responsibility anymore. And you don't need to have any responsibility anymore. That's okay. (SOFTER) But I'm giving you a simple choice: you come back with me, or you don't. That's it. There is no other motive.

ZOLF pauses as if he wants to stop, looking upset and annoyed, then forces himself to press on.

ZOLF: Yes, things are broken. And things need to be fixed, and things need to be sorted out, but that doesn't have to be on you. And it shouldn't be just on you.

ZOLF extends a hand again. WILDE doesn't take it, but he's taken his attention away from the garden.

ZOLF: We're all responsible, for everything. And you died, in pursuit of a fix. And it would not be fair for me to tell you that you have to come back.

ZOLF lowers his hand.

WILDE: So why are you here? What, what, what's your actual point?

ZOLF: (INTERRUPTING) To ask you-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING) Why don't you just let it lie?

ZOLF: (SOFT AND GENUINE) To ask you if you want to come back. You didn't choose to die, but you can, right now, choose to stay dead. 

WILDE takes a moment to compose himself. He suddenly remembers the drink still clutched in his other hand and finishes it, setting his glass on a table by the door. A breeze from the park ruffles his hair.

ZOLF: I know, better than a lot of people, that death ain't the end. Y'know, I'm a cleric for goodness sake. 

ZOLF touches the space on his chest were his dolphin once hung, then quickly drops his hand again, as if he was burned.

ZOLF: So, there is a, a natural order to things. And people die, and they move on, and that's just how it works.

WILDE: I'm just tired, Zolf. 

WILDE hangs his head, allowing his hair to cover his face in the same way he would do when hiding his scar.

WILDE: That's all. I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm just-

WILDE sighs. ZOLF takes another step closer to him.

ZOLF: I know, Wilde, I am tired too.

WILDE and ZOLF share a glance, one they've probably shared on countless late nights in countless safehouses. WILDE is the first to look away.

WILDE: Everyone thinks that they're carrying this, but they're not. 'Cause you know what happens if they drop the ball? I pick it up, and I pass it to someone else, and if no one else is there to take it I carry the ball myself. That-that's just how this works, and I'm just- I'm just tired. I'm just so tired, Zolf. I'm just. So. Tired.

ZOLF takes one final step; he's now right next to WILDE.

ZOLF: Do you really think you're the only person who feels like that? Everyone feels like that, all the time. Everyone's tired. And everyone has work to do. And-

WILDE: So, what? We just go back and carry on until eventually we can't? That's not-

WILDE sighs heavily, trailing off. ZOLF clenches a fist in frustration, but doesn't let it show on his face.

ZOLF: (WITH AN UPSET TINGE TO HIS VOICE, BUT KINDLY) Not necessarily. Not if you don't want to. I told you, when I first came here, I will turn around and I will go back on my own, and that is fine. 

ZOLF grits his teeth a little as he says this: is is clearly not fine.

ZOLF: That is your choice. But I want you to understand the options.

WILDE takes a deep breath, then looks directly at ZOLF.

WILDE: Just give me a reason, other than because there's something that needs doing. That's all I need. Just one reason, other than 'there is another job for you, Wilde.' That's all I need.

ZOLF seems flustered under WILDE's intense gaze, and for the first time since arriving looks directly away from him.

ZOLF: Do you want there to be another reason?

WILDE: What did I just say? Obviously I do! Yes! 

The tension is broken; ZOLF looks back to WILDE. His brow is furrowed slightly, and he looks like he's trying to hold back what he's about to say next.

ZOLF: (EXTREMELY SOFTLY) Fine. (FORCING THE WORDS OUT, BUT REALLY MEANING THEM) Because I need you, Wilde.

ZOLF reaches out a hand, but doesn't wait for WILDE to take it this time; he just grabs WILDE's hand in his own. A small smile twitches at the corner's of WILDE's lips.

WILDE: (SLIGHT SMILE BLOSSOMING INTO A GRIN) And there we go. An honest answer from Zolf Smith. I never thought I'd hear it.

ZOLF: (WITH RELIEF AND ANGER, BOTH MOCK AND REAL)You were just angling for that?!

ZOLF drops WILDE's hand in an over-dramatised manner. WILDE is chuckling slightly.

ZOLF: (GRINNING) You bastard.

WILDE: No, I wasn't just angling for that, but it's nice to know.

WILDE tucks his hair behind his ear.

ZOLF: Well, I didn't wanna say, because it wouldn't be fair.

WILDE: Oh, nothing's fair.

WILDE gazes over ZOLF's shoulder at something for a moment. The window reflects in his eyes, and there appears to be a figure stood on the balcony, dressed all in black, looking out over the city. ZOLF whips round to see what he's looking at, but there's no one there, save for the toe of a boot disappearing upwards, as if someone's climbing up to the roof. All this takes less than a moment. 

WILDE: Look at it.

They're both looking out the window now - from a distance - watching Paris burn. ZOLF turns back to WILDE.

ZOLF: D- uh. D'you want to come back, or don't you? Like, yeah, uh, I-I've said it, I know. But it's still your choice.

WILDE: Here's the plan. We're gonna finish up these drinks, we go out there-

WILDE gestures to the doorway behind him, but as he does the already darkened park fades completely to black.

WILDE: We'll figure it out. We always do. It's fine. It's just useful to know I'm not just beating my head against the wall for no reason, Zolf, y'know?

WILDE smiles fondly down at ZOLF, allowing the backs of their hands to brush together.

ZOLF: Look-

ZOLF pulls his hand away, and for a moment WILDE looks hurt, until ZOLF grabs hold of his lapels and yanks him down to ZOLF's height. Their noses are almost touching. WILDE smirks coyly and ZOLF looks stoic, but both of their cheeks flush slightly from the proximity.

ZOLF: When this is all done we'll go on holiday or something.

A huge, Cheshire-cat-grin spreads across WILDE's face.

WILDE: Where?

ZOLF: (EXHASPERATED AND FOND) Oh, I don't know! I don't know where's gonna be left after all this is done. But somewhere nice. 

WILDE: (WITH MOCK SINCERITY) Zolf, I won't come back with you until you tell me where we're going on holiday together.

ZOLF: Such a dick.

ZOLF lets go of WILDE, allowing him to straighten up, but as soon as he does ZOLF grabs his hand again.

ZOLF: Come on.

With one final shared smile, WILDE pulls ZOLF after him into the darkness.

END ID].

[stray-kids-react]

Becoming jealous because of your insecurities

Warnings - Good and bad endings, Swearing.

Masterlist

....

Bang Chan

° Bang Chan has been having relationship rumors with this popular idol, you were already insecure about yourself but this only made your self esteem worse.

° You've been sobbing non-stop in your room as Chan was on tour, he never reassured you about the rumors or said that weren't true.

° You thought you feelings and sadness were all caused by you insecurities, and you shouldn't ignore Chan just because your jealous. That is until Seungmin called you.

"Hey y/n... I don't know how to tell you this but I can't let this go unheard. Chan cheated on you... And I'm so sorry." The message read over the phone, you practically screamed as you sobbed. Feeling so stupid for ignoring your gut feeling.

° You weren't going to be hurt by another guy again, so you called Chan to tell him that you were through. After the phone call, not one member of Stray Kids heard from or saw you ever again.

Lee Know

° You were a soft person, people constantly targeted you with hate for that reason. Especially crazy fans who made you rethink if you were good enough for Minho.

° But recently a group of sasaengs have been harassing you to the extreme, one even breaking into you home to try and kill you.

° You loved Minho very much, but the crazy fans were becoming too much for you to handle. Especially when you are all alone while he's on tour.

"Hey Minho, I love you so much and that will never stop... But these fans are becoming so hard to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it..." You sighed, hanging up the phone before you cried.

° Later that night, Minho got a message from his manager while he was flying home to convince you to stay with him. The message explained that you were killed by a fan when you finally confronted them.

Changbin

° You were going on a cute date with Changbin, the date was going well until he started chatting with the waitress. Making you inner demons suffocate you.

° Without thinking, you walked out of the café. Surprising Changbin, since you were rarely ever mad at him for something.

° He chased after you nonetheless, calling your name over and over even though you never turned around once to look at him. You were jealous, and too stubborn to fess up.

"Baby! What did I do? I apologize if I hurt you, but can you tell me what I did so I can fix it." He huffed, catching his breath after the long sprint to get to you. You explained rather harshly, that you didn't like his chat with the waitress.

° The chat was innocent and meant nothing to him at all, but he wasn't going to start and argument with you. Instead he apologized and continued to try and make it up to you, hoping it may calm some of your jealousy.

Hyunjin

° Hyunjin knew how easily jealous you got since you were best friends before you started dating, he just never knew why you got so upset over something so little.

° Hyunjin was having a particularly bad argument with you, over his make up artist allegedly "flirting" with him.

° He asked you why you always get so jealous over small things and make his life so much more difficult. Watching as your anger turned into soft and delicate sadness.

"It's because I hate myself Hyunjin, when I look in a mirror all I see is a fucking ugly monster that doesn't deserve you." you explained, sliding down the bedroom wall as you sobbed into you hands.

° Hyunjin soon felt his heart break into millions of pieces, he loved you with all of his heart. He decided to forget about the argument and just focus on comforting you, the person who means to world to him.

Han

° You and Jisung were driving home after very awful dinner, which included him dancing with someone other than you on the dance floor, who was also very into him.

° Jisung was a free spirit who didn't like to argue, while you were very serious and got jealous VERY easily due to insecurities.

° For the past moth you both have been arguing non-stop, wondering why you two are still even together anymore. Both of you are honestly just done with each other.

"I don't want to fight anymore, I'm tired and exhausted. But I think we need to see other people." You sighed, looking out the window with know sign of regret in your voice. You didn't feel anything for him anymore.

° He nodded in agreement, knowing it was coming sooner or later after you cheated on him with Felix and after he cheated on you with you bed friend. You just weren't meant to be, and you were okay with that.

Felix

° Felix got quite jealous himself, he never admitted it you. But that's part of the reason he understands when you get frustrated from your own jealousy.

° He knew about you past with bullies, and never like arguing with you in case he ever said something he didn't mean.

° But in the morning he knew he must've fucked up somehow, since you weren't answering his texts like you always do. So he stopped by you apartment to check in.

"Hey love, I totally understand if you having a down day. But can you please tell me if it has anything to do with me?" he asked, carefully claiming the spot next to you on the couch as you clenched the fabric of your shirt.

° You weren't mad at him, but instead hated yourself for putting him through some hard times due to your one insecurities. So you just clung onto him, telling him how much you love and appreciate him.

Seungmin

° You and Seungmin started off great, but you both noticed the interest and love slowly dissolve over the time. Soon finding one another quite annoying and irritating.

° Seungmin was ready to end it after you ended up becoming jealous more frequently, realizing the relationship won't work out.

° He called you over the phone while he was on tour, explaining that it is over and he doesn't want to be with you anymore. You though you deserved more than a phone call.

"Hey Min Min, you'll find you stuff that was left at my place in the dumpster out back, where it belongs." You replied, as the maintenance man changed the lock on your door.

° Many found you actions immature, but they weren't part of the relationship or heard the words that came out of his mouth. You deep down knew that you needed this revenge, and felt relief when you did it.

Jeongin

° Jeongin knew how insecure you were when beginning the relationship, constantly trying to cheer you up and make you gain some level of confidence in yourself.

° So when a stylist of his began flirting with him purposely when you were around, he knew he was in deep shit.

° Even though it wasn't his fault, he still felt guilty for not taking action fast enough. You were clearly jealous and upset by the stylist's remarks, and he wished he could take it away.

"I'm sorry y/n, if it helps I was just as surprised as you were. They have never done that before." He explained, rubbing shapes into your back. Slowly calming you down.

° You snuggled into his grasp, wrapping you arms across his torso as you drowned yourself in his warmth. You weren't mad at him, but more at yourself for being so stubborn and bitter over some nobody.